WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES OF THE GREAT CHARLES A. SHRINER H1029.18.5 = = HARVARD COLLEGE LIBRARY Wit, Wisdom and Foibles of the Great Wit, Wisdom and Foibles of the Great Together With Numerous Anecdotes Illustrative of the Characters of People and Their Rulers COMPILED BY CHARLES A. SHRINER One Anecdote of a Man is Worth a Volume of Biography—CHANNING Great Men, taken up in any way, are Profitable Company_CARLYLE SECOND EDITION © Wa o FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY NEW YORK AND LONDON 1920 H1029, 18.5 ( HARVARD UNIVERSITI LIBRAL COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY FUNK & WAGNAILS COMPANY Copyright under the Articles of the Copyright Convention of the Pan-American Republica and the United States, August 11, 1910 (PRIYTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA) Published December, 1918 TO THE HONORED MEMORY OF WILLIAM BARBOUR, DIED IN NEW YORK CITY MARCH 1, 1917, THIS WORK IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED. C. A. S. 一一一 ​ INTRODUCTORY The object of this compilation is to present in a convenient form such entertaining incidents in history as are to be found in publications having neither the importance nor the morocco to admit them to the average library. The lives of men and women of note, as presented by historians and biog- raphers, have been taken as a basis, but it will be found that the additions gathered from magazines and pamphlets have grown to greater value. When the historian or biographer has put the finishing touches to the last chapter, his task is ended and he must stand or fall by it. An amended history or biog- raphy would be an anomaly. No matter how many nicks students could put into Babington's polished structure, the public will read, and will demand, Macaulay—Macaulay untouched. The writer of magazines and pamphlets labors in a different field, for even the slightest inaccuracy is certain to call forth corrections, frequently from several sources. Historians or biographers may relate an incident in accordance with what they believe to be the strictest veracity; yet the truth may be found on indisputable authority on the unopened page of some overlooked magazine or pamphlet stored away on an unfrequented shelf. This compilation does not pretend to be a complete analysis of the char- acters of men and women who have figured largely on the pages of history; it is merely supplementary to such studies as have been undertaken by writers of the past. These writers, however, did not have the advantages for research offered by the almost countless volumes of magazines and pamphlets and other publications of a more or less ephemeral character to be found in the large libraries of the present day; it is to these storehouses of information that the compiler of the present work has devoted his attention. It may be argued that an anecdote is at times only the reflection from an inconsiderable facet; yet it cannot be denied that light is frequently shed on the characters of men by the anecdotes in which they figured as well as those of which they were only the relators, or the relation of which interested them, even if in these anecdotes the line of veracity has become somewhat undulating by frequent handling. Of anecdotes there are many waifs in the world of biography, tossed about without acknowledged parents, the crime or credit of whose origin can not be INTRODUCTORY determined by the most painstaking filiation proceedings. Of these, however, there are many that glory in a numerous parentage by adoption, and the trouble is that many of them have the characteristics of their putative parents, so that from mere resemblance or likelihood it would be impossible to deny any of the various origins attributed to them. One particular anecdote of this kind has perhaps had more wear and tear than its fellows. It tells of a lawyer who was arguing in favor of the side he had been retained to oppose, until the whis- pered interruption of his assistant made him pause, but only for an instant, for he promptly informed the court that he had stated the case fully for the oppo- sition and would now proceed to show the shallowness of their arguments, which he did and won the case for the client whose retaining fee he had received. In what is perhaps the original of this anecdotean unidentified case previous to the days of Ashburton—the judge decided against the logic of all the lawyers, giving judgment in favor of a third party—not represented in court. However, the anecdote in its prettier form has been attributed to a number of English lawyers and it has multiplied so numerously on this side of the Atlantic that a feeling of sympathy is almost engendered for a lawyer whose biography does not contain this embellishment. No biography of Talleyrand is complete which does not give him credit for having originated the phrase, “This is the beginning of the end”; yet there is the written authority of his brother, first published in a pamphlet, that the breviary most used by the Bishop of Autun consisted of twenty-two volumes of anecdotes and that the famous expression is to be found in that publication. “The Guard may die, but never surrenders!" is generally attributed to Cam- bronne, on the authority of a grenadier who declared that he heard the general make use of that phrase twice at Waterloo. Cambronne denied having said anything of the kind! and at a dinner given some years after the famous battle pointed out the absurdity of the anecdote, because at the time he was supposed to have made the remark he was a prisoner in the hands of the enemy, having surrendered some time before the Guard did so. Despite his frequent denials the town of Nantes was authorized by royal ordinance to inscribe that phrase on his statue. Then the sons of General Michel laid formal claim to it for their father. It remained for the Quarterly Review (April, 1861) to inform the world—at least the English-speaking portion of it—that the famous phrase was invented by Rougemont and printed in the Independent two days after the battle. An incident is told by Knight "of an Englishman in Paris in 1830, to whom a chimney-sweeper promised a sight of the king on condition of a fee of five francs. The bargain being struck the lad began shouting, ‘Louis Philippe! yü INTRODUCTORY Louis Philippe!' The crowd took it up; the king appeared at the window and the five francs were paid, and for another five francs the stranger had the pleasure of hearing his majesty joining in the Marseillaise." A writer in Notes and Queries (March 2, 1862) says: “The singing part of the story is new, but I perfectly remember hearing at the time poor Queen Caroline was making herself conspicuous in London during her trial, the former part of the story told of ‘a dirty little boy,' who offered to show the queen to a gentleman passing her house for a shilling, and who succeeded in doing so by exactly the same dodge Are both these stories true? Or is one a mere reproduction of the other? Or is the coincidence only another proof of the almost impossible task of getting at the real source of an anecdote ?”. It will be observed in this compilation that some favorite anecdotes, fre quently wrongly attributed in popular publications, have been traced-perhaps to their origin. The citation of authority in each instance may guide the reader to a definite conclusion. For convenience of reference a general index, includ- ing the names of persons mentioned incidentally, and an index to characteris- tics, have been added at the end of the volume. If in the course of this compilation the reader should find that fond esti- mates of great men are somewhat altered by throwing on them the limelight when they were not ready to pose, and if weaknesses are shown to have existed even in the greatest intellects, it might be well to remember the words of Na- poleon: “You may smile at my dandified marshal, but you will notice that when columns are shot down to-day Murat's gaudy plume will be dancing in the hottest of the fight. Let a hero have one folly, gentlemen.” PATERSON, N. J. November 1, 1918. C. A. S. WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES OF THE GREAT ADAMS, John, 1735-1826. President of the Anecdotes Told by Mr. Adams United States. Colonel Putnam told a story of an Indian It must be to this occasion, being the only upon the Connecticut river who called at a one upon which a shot was fired by an tavern in the fall of the year for a dram. enemy, that Mr. Sprague, in his Eulogy of The landlord asked him two coppers for it. Adams and Jefferson, refers, in the follow The next spring, happening at the same ing anecdote. He doubtless had it from house, he called for another, and had three Tucker in his latest days, when a sailor's coppers to pay for it. "How is this, land- stories commonly lose nothing in the telling: lord,” says he; "last fall you asked but two Discovering an enemy's ship, neither Com coppers for a glass of rum; now you ask modore Tucker nor Mr. Adams could resist three?” “Oh,” says the landlord, "it costs the temptation to engage, although against me a great deal to keep rum over winter. the dictates of prudent duty. Tucker, how It is as expensive to keep a hogshead of rum ever, stipulated that Mr. Adams should re over winter as it is a horse." "Aye,” says main in the lower part of the ship, as a place the Indian, “I can't see through that; he of safety. But no sooner had the battle won't eat so much hay-maybe he drink as commenced, than he was seen on deck, with much water.” This was sheer wit, pure a musket in his hands, fighting as a com- satire and true humor. Humor, wit and mon marine. The Commodore peremptorily satire in one short repartee.-JOHN ADAMS, ordered him below; but, called instantly “Diary,” January 10, 1772. away, it was not until a considerable time had elapsed that he discovered this public Dubourg is a jolly companion and very minister still at his post, intently engaged in fond of anecdotes. He told a great number, firing upon the enemy. Advancing, he ex. whenever I was in his company, which were claimed, “Why are you here, sir? I am said to be excellent, but his speech was so commanded by the Continental Congress to rapid that I could not fully understand them. carry you safely to Europe, and I will do it,” One I remember—he told us an instance of and, seizing him in his arms, forcibly carried the great presence of mind, self-command and him from the scene of danger.-CHARLES good nature of Marshal Turenne. He had FRANCIS ADAMS, “Life and Works of John chosen for his valet the stoutest grenadier in Adams." the army, who frequently played at hot cockles with another of his domestics, who In conversation once with Mr. Webster was named Stephen. The marshal one day he spoke to me of his last interview with Mr. stooped down to look out of a window, with Adams. ...“While I was with him and con one of his hands upon his back. The gren- versing on the common topics of the day, adier, coming suddenly into the chamber, some one a friend of his-came in and made raised his gigantic arm and with his brawny particular inquiry of his health. 'I inhabit palm gave his master a furious blow upon & weak, frail, decayed tenement; battered his hand upon his back. The marshal drew by the winds and broken in upon by the himself in and looked at the grenadier, who, storms, and, from all I can learn, the land the moment he saw it was his master, fell lord does not intend to repair.'”—CHARLES | upon his knees in despair, begging for mercy, W. MARSH, “Daniel Webster and his Con. for he “thought it was Stephen.” “Well,” temporaries." said the marshal, rubbing his hand, which Adams, John Albert, Prince Consort Wid, WINDOW AND FOIBLES was tingling with the smart, “if it had been Stephen, you ought not to have struck so hard," and said no more on the subject. JOHN ADAMS, “Diary,” March 27, 1778. A Frenchman in London advertised an in- fallible remedy against fleas. The ladies all flocked to purchase the powder; but, after they had bought it, one of them asked for directions to use it. “Madam,” says the Frenchman, "you must catch the flea, and squeeze him between your fingers until he gape, then you must put a little of this powder in his mouth and I will be responsible he will never bite you again.” “But,” says the lady, “when I have him between my fingers, why may I not rub him to death?”. "Oh, madam, dat vill do just as vell den.”— JOHN ADAMS, "Diary,” March 29, 1778. The consul (of France at Ferrol, in Spain, 1779) ... told me that there is for the province of Galice a sovereign court of jus- tice, which has both civil and criminal juris- diction; that it is without appeal in all criminal cases, but in some civil cases an appeal lies to the Council; that there is not time for an application for pardon, for they execute forthwith; that hanging is the capi- tal punishment; they burn sometimes, but it is after death; that there was lately a sentence for parricide; the law requires that the criminal should be headed up in a hogs. head with an adder, a toad, a dog, a cat, etc., and cast into the sea; that he looked at it and found that they had printed those ani- mals on the hogshead and that the dead body was put into the cask.-JOHN ADAMS, “Diary,” December 14, 1779. The post boy (who upon asking where I would be carried, was answered to the best inn in London, for all are alike unknown to me) carried us to the Adelphi buildings in the Strand. Whether it was the boy's cunning or whether it was mere chance I know not, but I found myself in a street which was marked John street. The postilion turned a corner and I found myself in Adams street. He turned another corner and I was in John Adams street. I thought surely we are arrived in fairyland. How can all this be? Arrived at Osborne's Adelphi Hotel, and having engaged convenient apart- ments, which was all I desired and as much as my revenues could command, I inquired of Mr. Osborne, our landlord, about the oddity of meeting my own name in all the streets about his house. I was informed that the Adelphi Hotel and all the streets and buildings about it had been planned and executed by two architects by the name of Adams, two brothers from Scotland, the name of the oldest of whom was John, both under the protection and probably the sup- port of the great Earl of Mansfield.-JOHI ADAMS, letter quoted by John Quincy Adams and Charles Francis Adams in “Life of John Adams.” We have heard and our authority is no less than the elder President Adams- of what is called a pouting room in France; the apartment being of an octagonal form and all the sides, as well as the ceiling overhead, of the most polished mirrors; so that a per- son standing in the center may see himself in every possible direction, multiplied into an indefinite vista of selves, as far as the eye can reach. Into such a focus of reflections, it is said, the gallant gentlemen of the most chivalrous portion of Europe cast an unfortu- nate lady whose temper has escaped her con- trol, dooming her simply to the reflection of her own countenance.—The North American Review, January, 1838. ADAMS, John Quincy, 1767-1848. President of the United States. Mr. Millard Fillmore remarked that John Quincy Adams once said that he made it a point to read “Gil Blas" through once a year and that he never read it through without new delight and increased knowledge.—HIRAM C. DAY, "Thirty-seventh Annual Report of the Buffalo Historical Society.” ADAMS, Samuel, 1722-1803. American statesman. With respect to General (James) Wilkin- son I remember an anecdote. He was, in 1777, an aide to General Gates and by him sent to Congress at Yorktown in Pennsylva- nia with the despatches giving an account of the surrender of Sir John Burgoyne and the British army to the Americans at Saratoga. On the way he spent a day at Reading, about fifty miles from New York, with a young lady from Philadelphia, whom he afterwards mar. ried. When the despatches were read in Con- gress, propositions were made for paying a proper compliment to the favorite of General Gates, who brought us such pleasing news. Governor Samuel Adams, with a grave and solemn face, moved Congress that the young gentleman be presented with a pair of spurs. -WILLIAM V. WELLS, "Life of Samuel Ad- ams." ADDISON, Joseph, 1672-1719. English au- thor and statesman. Lord Egmont, in his manuscript collection, has related an instance of Mr. Addison's OF THE GREAT Adams, John Albert, Prince Consort jealousy with regard to his reputation. Hav a bottle of wine was placed at each end of ing heard that a gentleman had, for his di- | the gallery or dining room where he paced up version, turned eight lines of Cato into bur and down in the act of composition or medita- lesque, he could not rest till, by the interpo tion. The Princess [Marie Lichtenstein) says sition of a friend, he prevailed upon the a bottle of port at one end and of sherry at author to burn them. the other.-Quarterly Review, October, 1873. Free and elegant as was the accustomed ADELAIDE, Maria Theresa Caroline Ame- style of Addison, it is known that on many lia Adelaide, 1792-1849. Queen of Eng. occasions he could not satisfy the fastidious land. ness of his taste in his own compositions. It I had a nurse once, who had been nurse for was his official business to write to Hanover some months to the queen dowager and was that Queen Anne was dead; he found it so with her when she died. She told me that difficult to express himself suitably to his own Queen Adelaide had the most extraordinary notions of the importance of the event that mania for ping; she was always wondering the lords of the regency were obliged to em- what became of the millions of pins that dis- ploy Mr. Southwell, one of the clerks. South- appeared and she could not bear a single one well stated the fact, as he was ordered, in the should be lost; it was a case of searching for ordinary perspicuity of business; and then hours for a pin that had been dropped. One boasted of his superiority to Addison in hav- day a nurse took a pin out of the queen's pin- ing readily done that which Addison attempt. cushion; the queen, who had recognized its ing to do had failed.--"Addisoniana.” disappearance, asked whence she had got the Mr. Temple Stangan had on some emer- pin, proceeding, at once, to impress upon her what a heinous crime it was to touch her pin- gency borrowed a sum of money from Addi- son, who soon remarked that his debtor ceased cushion, and ending by saying that, no doubt, to converse with him on equal terms, and in- she had picked it up somewhere and did not stead of freely controverting his opinions as know where. The nurse answered, “No, your before now yielded a tame assent to whatever majesty, I took it out of your majesty's pin- he was pleased to advance. The change dis- cushion." "Now,” said the queen, “I know pleased him and one day, when Mr. Stangan that I can trust you, for you speak the truth; had expressed his perfect conformity of senti. I wanted to try you.” The pincushion was ment on some topic which had frequently all decorated with flowers and patterns in been the subject of keen dispute between them, pins and the queen used to tell her to go and he exclaimed with heat: "Either contradict bring a pin from such and such a row, in such me, sir, or pay me my money."-LUCY AIKIN, and such a flower; and the pin had after- "Life of Joseph Addison." wards to be put back in the same place. No one was allowed to wear the same The modest Addison was accused by a dress twice, without some change being made lady of being dull and heavy in conversation. in it. I remember one of the maids of honor, "Madam," he replied with great dignity, “I Miss Kerr, Lady Robert Kerr's daughter, tell- have only ninepence in my pocket, but I can ing me of the way to make natural flowers draw for a thousand pounds." last, so that they could be worn as a trim- We allude to the famous words which he ming, proved a saving of forty pounds a year is said to have addressed in his last moments to her. She said that all the time of the to the young Earl of Warwick: "See in what maids of honor was taken up by planning peace a Christian can die.” The story orig- alterations in their dresses.-ANNA MARIA inated with Young, who said he had it from WILHELMINA PICKERING, "Memoirs.” Tickell; adding that the earl led an irregular ALBERT, Francis Charles Augustus Albert life, which Addison wished to reclaim. But, Emmanuel, 1819-1861. Prince Consort of according to Malone, who was a scrupulous England. inquirer, there is no evidence of the earl's having led such a life, and Walpole, in one of The prince, examining a list of palace his letters, which were published not long charges, was puzzled over a weekly expendi- ago, startled-we should say shocked-the ture of thirty-five shillings for "Red Room Wine.” He investigated this charge, being world by telling that Addison “died of brandy.”—LEIGH HUNT, "Old Court Suburb.” naturally hindered at every step, until at last he discovered that a certain room at Windsor He no more died of brandy than Pitt died had been used temporarily during the reign of port, although his constitution equally re- of George III. as a guard room and that five quired stimulants. There is a tradition that I shillings a day had been allowed to provide Albert, Prince Consort Alexander I. WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES wine for the officers. The guard had been He regarded the partition of Poland as removed many years before, but the item of | a crime and had thoughts of reconstituting wine which still figured in the cellarage ac | the kingdom, with himself as its king; but he count had become the perquisite of a half- was quite ready to join in the partition of pay officer, who held the sinecure of under- Turkey, provided he got the larger share of butler. The prince offered him the choice the spoil.—The Quarterly Review, October, between relinquishing the wine money or of 1893. really becoming a butler, much to his horror. On the arrival of the Count d'Artois from It happened that on one long drive in exile at Paris, M. de Caulaincourt, Duke of Scotland Prince Albert fainted. The dis- Vincenza, among other sycophants, presented tracted queen could only wait until they got himself at the Tuileries to pay his court. On to some place where brandy was to be secured being perceived by the Count d'Artois he ad- to revive him, so in terror she supported her dressed him: "M. Caulaincourt, you lie much husband while the coachman galloped his under the imputation of being accessory to horses over three or four miles of road until a most horrid crime (meaning the death of houses were reached. After that Victoria the Duke of Enghien]; I hope you will be commanded that a bottle of brandy should be able to justify yourself, but until then I must placed in her carriage every time she drove decline receiving you.” Caulaincourt imme- out, and, as the bottle was removed before diately repaired to the Emperor of Russia, the carriage went back to the stables, and as with whom he had long been in great favor, a new bottle was put there each time it and related to him what had passed. The again came to the door, and was never opened Czar replied: “What ridiculous susceptibil- by the queen, some one had cause to con ity! I am daily surrounded by those who gratulate himself on the fainting attack.- murdered my father and have not more zeal- CLARE JERROLD, “Married Life of Queen Vic ous servants than they are; but make your- toria.” (A parallel anecdote to this will self easy; I will arrange this for you." He be found attributed to CATHERINE II. of invited the Count d'Artois to dinner and Russia.] seated him on his right, placing Caulaincourt A very favorite sport with the prince was to the right of the count. This fact I had to tumble little boys into the water-the from several Bourbonists, one of whom was swimming master being by for safety—and present, and two others said they had heard then dive after them to bring them up. it related by the Count d'Artois himself.- HENRY W. WOLFF, in The Gentleman's Maga The Gentleman's Magazine, June, 1828, quot- zine, February, 1894. ing “A Narrative of Memorable Events in ALEXANDER I., 1777-1825. Emperor of Russia. He gave proof of intrepidity and presence He had strange and unfashionable ways of mind during a tempest which befell him and tastes, incomprehensible to the Russian on a lake near Archangel, when, perceiving court; was known to long for the time when the pilot overwhelmed with the responsibility he might retire from a position which most his imperial rank laid upon him, he said, men coveted; saying on one occasion that "My friend, more than eighteen hundred the position of an English squire was what years have elapsed since a Roman general, he most envied. He continued to lead the placed in similar circumstances, said to his life, devoid of pomp and ceremony, he pilot, 'Fear not, for thou hast with thee had preferred as Czarevitch; maintained his Cæsar and his fortunes.' I am, however, less mother's court at the same standard as when bold than Cæsar; I therefore charge thee to she was reigning empress, but refused to in- | think no more of the emperor than of thyself crease the parade of his own; would take | or any other man and do thy best to save us long walks into the country unattended; wore both.”-Sharp's Magazine, December, 1850. no ornaments, not a ring, nor even, though One need only think of the anecdote told scrupulously punctual, a watch; detested flat- of Alexander I. of Russia, as well as of Leo- tery; never played cards and disliked snuff pold II. “Sire," some one said to the Czar, and tobacco; would help, moreover, to move a "I am a republican.” “So am I, but my pro- wounded or sick soldier, and was known to fession is against it.”-A. S. RAPPAPORT, have stopped his carriage-never attended by “Leopold II.” guards—within a few miles of Vilna, and take up an old and lame peasant woman, The Emperor Alexander naturally feared painfully plodding on the road.—The Quar that the departure of the empress would only terly Review, January, 1890. | alarm the people and said to his mother with Paris.” sar OF THE GREAT I. Albert, Prince Alexander Consort respectful firmness: "Madame, I have begged you as a son, now I command you as emperor, to remain."-COUNTESS DE CHOISEUL-GOUF- FIER, “Memoirs of Alexander 1.” One of his favorite relaxations was to take long walks. Attired in plain clothes and without an attendant, he would often start for a vigorous tramp at noon, returning by two o'clock. A story is told of how on one occasion, being late, he hired a hackney sledge and had himself driven to the imperial palace. On his arrival he found that he was without money. The driver, failing to recog. nize him, refused to trust him, exclaiming, "Oh, no, my officer, I have driven too many young sparks like you. With them it is out of sight out of mind. I have been left in the lurch too often.” The emperor left his fur cloak as a pledge with this cautious cabby and then sent out his footman to redeem it with a ten- pound note as a compensation for the bad debts of the ingenuous sledge-driver. When the latter heard whom he had the honor of driving, he is said to have bolted as fast as he could, but tradition adds that the ten- pound note is carefully preserved and is handed down as an heirloom from generation to generation. The next morning at the levee the emperor told the commanding officer who attended that, although their regiments were in splendidly efficient state, “your subalterns have subjected me to the humiliation of be- ing obliged to leave my cloak as a pledge with a sledge-driver, who would not trust me, because he said my comrades often forgot to pay him.”—E. A. B. HODGETTS, “The Court of Russia in the Nineteenth Century." Alexander of Russia was accompanied to the Congress of Vienna not alone by his im- perial consort, the gentle and chaste Eliza- beth, but by the haughty and able Madame de Nariskin. The latter was not merely the Cynthia of the minute, but the year-long friend, guide, counselor, the meretricious Ege- ria of the Muscovite Numa. In her presence the empress was a unit marked with honors which scourged her and the object of atten- tions which must have seared her soul. She endured the torture of her dignity with an external indifference which would have gained her applause among the children of Lycur- gus; but her heart was writhing beneath the smiles that veiled its anguish. The immedi- ate cause is revealed without a comment by the Count de la Garde [Souvenirs of the Congress of Vienna). It was not so much that the wife was outraged as that the proud authoress of the insult wounded her more deeply upon another point. “The empress of Russia," says our author, "was the only indi- vidual whose features were unmistakably marked with a most profound melancholy." This melancholy was particularly aggravated on one occasion upon beholding husband, Ma- dame Nariskin and child in one fond union walking side by side. "It was evident enough," says the count, “that she was jeal- ous of those maternal joys and that the sight she witnessed renewed her sorrows. So un- bounded was the affection of this princess for the emperor that whenever she happened to meet the daughter born to him by Madame de Nariskin she overwhelmed her with a storm of eager kisses and caresses, seeking as it were momentarily to delude the profound sor- rows which she endured as wife and mother." —The Gentleman's Magazine, September, 1850. Alexander had been likened before to his great namesake and to Cyrus; Madame de Krudener freshened comparisons. . . . Before she had seen him she had called him the Uni- versal Savior, the White Angel, whom she was constantly contrasting with the Black Angel, Napoleon. What she said she doubtless believed, but there still lingered about her a flattering savor of the habits of the great world, which by no means prejudiced her influence. The emperor's carriages were sent for her and her retinue to Mesnil, and the honor rendered by Louis XIV. to Madame de Maintenon at Compiègne did not exceed the respect paid by the victorious emperor to Madame de Krude- ner. Not as a favored subject, not as Mar- shal Munich's granddaughter, did he receive her, but as the envoy of heaven whom it was his appointed object to usher into the midst of his army. And she, dressed in a long, plain robe, girdled-in about the waist, and a straw bonnet, often laid aside to leave her head uncovered, with her fair hair, divided in the middle, floating back over her shoulders, one long, wavy lock, which she caught some- times and drew forwards, straying loose, ap- peared among the prostrate soldiers at the hour of prayer with her "message.”—MARGA- RET M. MAITLAND, in The Gentleman's Maga- zine, August, 1884. It was in this year (1814] that the em- peror of Russia brought into fashion a dance —the polonaise-which had certainly need of his patronage to render it acceptable. But he danced it and that was enough to induce every one to admire it.-DUCHESS D’ABRAN- TÈS, “Memoirs." The emperor Alexander of Russia during the occupation of Paris was present at the Bury" Alexander I. Alexander II. WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES anniversary of one of the hospitals. Plates nine and ten o'clock he consented for the first for contributions were passed around by the time to the application of leeches to his ladies who patronized the institution. The temple. The brain had now become affected plate presented to the emperor was held by and he was occasionally delirious. ... The an extremely pretty girl. The emperor physicians who had the care of his majesty dropped in a handful of gold and whispered, were accused by some, without the slightest "That is for beautiful bright eyes.” The ground, of mismanaging the case; and I heard charming little damsel courtesied and imme the question repeatedly put, “Why they did diately presented the plate again. “What?" not compel his majesty to submit to their said the emperor; "more?” “Yes, sire,” said plan of treatment?" or, in other words, as she; “now I want something for the poor." Sir James Wylie expressed it, why did they Harper's Magazine, April, 1883. not commit the crime of lèse-majesté-a pro- ceeding which no circumstances would ever The Legend of His Abdication justify.--ROBERT LEE, M.D., F.R.S., in The Upon leaving his presence I was sensibly London Athenaeum, August 9, 1845. impressed with the vanity of human great It is a common belief among the ness. The circumstances brought forcibly to | lower classes, especially the priests and memory the closing scene of the life of Em monks, that the emperor Alexander I. did not peror Alexander. Throughout his last illness die on the day on which he is supposed to he refused to take medicine and thus suffered have breathed his last, but that an empty his disease, which was not at first considered coffin was lowered into the vault where the dangerous, to become mortal. When Sir remains of the Romanoff family repose. This James Wylie, his physician, told him that was done by his own expressed wish, in which unless he would submit to medical treatment his wife, the Empress Elizabeth, acquiesced, his disease must prove fatal, the Emperor and, while the whole nation was praying for Alexander regarded him earnestly, and ex the soul of the departed potentate, a quiet, claimed in the most solemn manner, “And why plainly attired moujik stole away from the should I desire to live?" He continued to crowd of courtiers gathered around the new reject all remedies and his death was the czar. Protected by the robe and hood of a consequence. On the truth of this anecdote wandering pilgrim he traveled on and on you may rely. There was no foundation for until he reached a solitary spot in the midst the report that he had been poisoned.—JAMES of the vast Russian plain. There for many BUCHANAN, letter, dated August 7, 1833, to years he lived like the anchorites of old. It Louis McLane, Secretary of State of the was only once a year, during the Easter fes- United States, quoted in George Ticknor Cur tivities, that he made his appearance in the tis's “Life of James Buchanan.” capital, and then he used to go straight to the imperial palace. His stature was so On the evening of Friday, the 27th of erect, his bearing so dignified and noble, his November, I proceeded, at the request of look so gentle yet so commanding, that no Count Woronzow, to the residence of Sir one ever dared to refuse him admittance. He James Wylie, for many years physician to would walk from hall to hall, his arms and the person of his imperial majesty, for the feet bare, and his long white hair and beard purpose of obtaining an account of the em- sweeping over his neck, stopping only when peror's illness, and the treatment which would he reached the threshold of the czar's private have been pursued, had not his majesty apartments. The chamberlain who ushered strenuously refused all medical assistance. him in never closed the folding doors behind ... Sir James was again desired by the empress to endeavor to convince his maj- the silent visitor without waiting to observe esty that his life was in the greatest danger, that the czar, worshiped like a demi-god by all, yet stooped low when the stranger en- and, that as he would not submit to medical treatment, he should think seriously, so long tered and reverently kissed his shriveled hand. as he retained consciousness, of employing The hermit in time became a well-known fig. spiritual aid. On the morning of the 15th, ure, but no prayers or entreaties could ever at five o'clock, he was confessed by the priest; detain him more than one day in St. Peters- and he requested that in this religious act he burg, and when at last he died he was buried should be confessed as a simple individual. there beside his forefathers in the fortress When this was finished, the priest strongly chapel. The legend is quite affirmative as to urged his majesty to employ medical aid, say- | the latter point and the emperor Alexander I. ing that, unless he did so, he would not ful- is cited by the monks as an example of those fil the whole of his Christian duty, Between who live in austerity and aspire to holiness.- OF THE GREAT Alexander I. Alexander II. HELENE VACABESCO, "Kings and Queens I mit opened the door and said to those out- Plave known." side, “Carry him out carefully; he will come to. Only tell him not to speak of what he In 1907 there appeared in Russia a book heard and saw.” And the man never did. by the grand duke Nicholas Michaelovitch, Still more interesting is the unwritten fact called "The Legend of the End of Alexander that the Metropolitan of Petersburg, at the 1. in Siberia in the Person of the Hermit end of the last century, on hearing of the Theodor Kouzmitch.” There had already been investigations and studies of Schilder before a number of smaller pamphlets on the subject, his famous work came out, smiled and said, the authors of which admitted the possibility "He would kneel to me to learn what I of the legend being true. The grand duke know.” Schilder flew to him and knelt, and Nicholas clearly denied this possibility and pleaded. The Metropolitan shook his head : supports his opinion with many persuasive "No use; I am tied by my oath."-N. JAR- arguments. But he even admits that our INTZOFF, in The Contemporary Review, June, great historian, N. K. Schilder, in his pri- 1912. vate talks with him, as well as in his vast and To return to Khromoff, who died only a splendid researches in the reign and person few years ago. Relying on the paper which ality of Alexander I., transparently alluded he received from Theodor Kouzmitch, he held to his own belief in the possibility of the to the end that Alexander I., like Charles V., extraordinary event. The grand duke also of Germany, and Christina, of Sweden, abdi- openly admits that the mysterious and unique cated the throne through disappointment, de- personality of the great hermit, Theodor sirous to be quit of the reins of government Kouzmitch, has never been disclosed and that and at peace from the strife of tongues. in any case this old man died in 1864 in a Alexander “died” in 1825, aged forty-eight. forest hut without leaving the slightest clue Theodor Kouzmitch appeared in Tomsk in the to his identity. . . . This great historian “thirties," after having led a vagrant life for sums up his study of Alexander I. in the fol. several years, and died in 1864, at which date lowing words: “A sphinx unsolved to the Alexander would have been eighty-seven, if end." . .. At the age of nineteen Alexander Khromoff is correct. In support of his theory wrote to his beloved friend and teacher, the is also to be adduced the resemblance in French republican, La Harpe, “I have sworn the portraits between Alexander and this to myself to abdicate: how can one man put old vagabond.-J. Y. SIMPSON, Blackwood's Russia into order ?" To another friend he Magazine, February, 1897. wrote: "I shall live like a private man on the Rhine; only the day of abdication is not yet ALEXANDER II., 1818-1881. Emperor of fixed.” When he heard of Catherine's plan Russia. for declaring him her heir, he wrote to La According to the customs of the empire, Harpe again: “If it is true that they are Alexander, when quite a youth, entered the going to neglect my father's rights, I and military service as a cadet. At fourteen years my wife will run away to America and no of age he was appointed a subaltern of the one will hear of us any more. ... The mere Guard. A few days after this promotion, thought of my future destiny makes me while proceeding to the apartments he occu- shudder.” He [Theodor Kouzmitch] was pied in the imperial palace, he traversed a buried by Kromoff in the churchyard of hall in which several high dignitaries were Tomsk monastery. On the plain wooden cross assembled. On the approach of the prince were carved the words, "Here is interred the they rose and bowed. This mark of respect, body of the Great Blessed Hermit, Theodor paid him by old soldiers, greatly flattered the Kouzmitch, who died in Tomsk on January young man; he wished to enjoy it again and 2, 1864.” The simple grave was visited by passed several times in succession through the many of the Russian aristocracy, also by the hall, but the generals who had saluted him grand duke Alexis Alexandrovitch, and later previously paid no attention. The grand on by the present emperor, since when a duke, much annoyed, ran to complain to his small chapel has been erected by a member father. The latter, taking him by the hand, of the state council, Galkin-Vrasskoi. Schil. led him back to the hall, where he had left der, the historian, relates an episode of two the generals. “My son,” he said to him in old courtiers visiting Theodor Kouzmitch. their presence, “it is really painful to me One of them entered his hut first and knelt that you understand so slightly the duties im- tefore the hermit without lifting his head. | posed upon you by your new epaulettes to- Then the old man spoke some words to him. | wards your superior officers and that you do The courtier looked up and fainted. The her- not feel that respect which heads grown gray Alexander II. Alexander III. WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in the service claim from you. Are you aware | claiming the rewards over and over again for that the men by whom you wish to be hon the pleasure of hearing the stentorian expres- ored, you ought to honor yourself? for to sions of gratitude. It seems that he had to them your father owes his throne and his life, be checked, and, although his kindly uncle in- and their fidelity, zeal and loyal services sisted on giving the men, who numbered 10,- can alone pave your way to that throne and 000, the full amount they had been promised, assist you in filling it with glory. Bow to his father, when he got his youngster home, them, to these noble gentlemen, and consider administered so severe a thrashing that young as a great honor every mark of devotion and Alexander never forgot it.-E. A. B. HODG- respect they grant you. What you have done ETTS, “The Court of Russia in the Nineteenth just now convinces me that you are still too Century." young to wear the epaulettes that have been At the time of the war between Austria given you; I will take them back. You must and France, the emperor Alexander, in the not reclaim them until your conduct has course of a confidential chat, complained to proved that you can wear them honorably." And the emperor detached the epaulettes from me of the violent and offensive tone in which his son's coat and warned him not to forget Russian politics were criticized in the corre- his lesson. spondence between German princes and mem- bers of the imperial family. He ended his One day, when the two grand dukes were complaint of his relation by the indignant playing with several of their comrades in words, “What is especially offensive to me in one of the saloons of the Winter Palace, they the matter is that my German cousins send suddenly made such a disturbance that the their rude remarks through the post in order emperor Nicholas came out of his cabinet an. that they may be sure to come to my personal grily to call them to order. The emperor knowledge.” There was no malice in the em- tore open the door of the room but, at the peror's admission; he was simply under the sight of the scene that was taking place, impression that it was his right as a monarch stopped in amazement at the threshold. The to make himself acquainted, even by such grand duke Constantine was holding Alex means as these, with the correspondence which ander down with his knee; he had passed a passed through the Russian post office.- scarf around his neck, which he was pretend PRINCE BISMARCK, “Thoughts and Recollec- ing to draw tightly; his comrades were shout tions." ing in glee, while Alexander, feigning despair, The following pleasing story of Alexander was crying for mercy. “What is the mean- ing of all this?" the emperor exclaimed. He II., related by Augustus Hare, showed that soon learned that the children had been rep- the exotic emperors could revenge themselves by truly cultured means. A young poet, says resenting a scene in Russian history—the death of Paul I. He addressed a stern ad- Hare, had written a most scurrilous poem, in which he had described and libeled not only monition to them all, telling them that it was the empress, but also all the grand dukes and not permitted to represent such hateful actions. Then he placed Constantine and his duchesses. Some one, the censor of the press, went and told the empress. “The man had companions under arrest for having made the better be sent off to Siberia at once," he said; heir of the throne play the part of a victim. “it is no case for delay.” “Oh, no," said the As for the latter, as he had been guilty of empress; "wait a little, but tell the man that crying for mercy, he was put in confinement. I desire to see him at six o'clock to-morrow “A Russian sovereign," Nicholas said to him, evening.” Hare goes on to describe the emo- "must never ask for mercy.”—LEOUZON LE- DUC, “Personal Reminiscences of the Emperor tions of the young poet as he proceeded to the Alexander II.” palace and conjured up the terrible fate in store for him. He was shown through all the The young prince seems to have been very grand state rooms, one after the other, with- good-looking, but also very precocious. At a out seeing any one, until at last he arrived at review held on the occasion of his sixth birth- a small commonplace room at the end of them day, the emperor Alexander I. allowed him to all and here he saw the empress, the emperor announce to the men the gratuities they were and all the grand dukes and duchesses whom to receive. The little prince was told to pro- he had mentioned in his poem. "How do you claim the amounts as loudly as his voice do, sir?” said the emperor. "I hear that you could and each captain repeated the boy's | have written a most beautiful poem and I words to the company, who returned thanks I have sent for you that you may read it aloud in chorus. The performance so pleased the to us yourself, and I have invited all the young grand duke that he repeated it, pro- grand dukes and duchesses to come, that they OF THE GREAT Alexander II. Alexander III. may have the pleasure of hearing you.” All protestations were unavailing, the young poet had to go through the ordeal, on the termina- tion of which Hare makes the empress say, "I do not think he will write any more verses about us again. He need not go to Siberia just yet.” An Englishman who had arrived in the winter of that year (1867) in St. Peters- burg with his wife and son took his family for a walk in the Summer Garden, as it is called. There were very few people about, and strolling along the deserted snowclad path he encountered a very tall and rather supercilious-looking officer who was saunter- ing down the middle of the path and dis- played no intention of making way for the Englishman and his wife. The Englishman, who had been a sailor, was a very sturdy and a very pugnacious stickler for what he thought was his due and was determined not to give way for any unmannerly Russian offi- cer. The officer seemed surprised at first, then an indulgent smile illuminated his somewhat weary countenance, and he indif- ferently, as though mentally shrugging his shoulders, deviated from the straight course and ceded the center of the path to the Eng- lishman, who discovered a few minutes later, when he again met the same officer, this time getting into his sledge, while all the populace stood bareheaded, that he had succeeded in making the emperor of Russia get out of his way. Filled with repentant contrition, he joined the saluting crowd, to receive a genial smile of recognition. The emperor had fully understood the situation.-E. A. B. HODGETTS, “The Court of Russia in the Nineteenth Cen- tury.” ALEXANDER III., 1845-1894. Emperor of Russia. The third son, Alexis, who is said to be contemplating a visit to this country during the present year, is in the naval service. Somewhat more than a year ago, when hold- ing the rank of midshipman, the flagship in which he was serving was wrecked on the coast of Denmark. The admiral ordered the life-boats to be lowered and directed Alexis to take charge of the first boat. The royal midshipman declined to obey the order. It was peremptorily repeated: “I, your com- manding officer, order you into the boat." "Admiral, I cannot obey you," said the young prince. “It would not become the son of the emperor to be the first to leave the ship. I shall remain with you to the last.” “But I shall put you under arrest for disobedience of orders as soon as circumstances will allow me to do so." "I mean no disobedience, but I cannot obey.” In due time almost the en- tire crew reached the shore in safety, only some four or five having perished in transit to the ship. Among the last to leave were the admiral and the grand duke Alexis. Tents were hastily erected from the sails and spars of the ship saved from the wreck and the rigid discipline of ship life was promptly re- sumed. The young prince was placed under arrest for his previous disobedience of orders. As soon as possible the Russian minister at Copenhagen was informed of the facts and telegraphed them to the emperor, from whom he received the following reply: “I approve of the act of the admiral in placing the mid- shipman under arrest for disobedience of or- ders, and I bless and kiss my son for disobey- ing them.”—Lippincott's Magazine, August, 1870. The emperor takes a visible delight in manual labor which in his case is a physical necessity no less than a favorite pastime. He unhesitatingly puts his hand to any kind of work that has to be done, but his usual occu- pation is to fell huge trees, saw them into planks, plane them and generally prepare them for the cabinet-maker, In winter the gardeners have strict orders not to clear the snow from the avenues and walks in the park, which is invariably left for his majesty, who, attired in a short gray jacket, shovels it into enormous mounds and then transfers it to a cart. It occasionally happens, when he can- not complete the tasks he has set himself within the time at his disposal, that his chil- dren lend him assistance and cart away the snow to a remote part of the grounds. ... Tasks of manual labor are much more diffi- cult to find in the city than in the country and he sometimes has recourse to curious makeshifts to satisfy his desire. Three years ago, for instance, he undertook to contribute his share in preparing the apartments of the Anisthkoff Palace for winter residence. Pre- vious to that time the work of hanging the pictures used to be entrusted to a specialist in town, whose charge was seven rubles a pic- ture (about 14s.). That year, however, he hung them all to his own satisfaction and that of the other members of the imperial family, refusing all assistance except that of a work- man of the palace, Sokoleff. As soon as the work was accomplished the Czar remarked with a smile, “This is the first money I have earned in my life.”—E. B. LANIN in the Con- temporary Review, January, 1893. In the recent cholera epidemic . . . the Czar has repeatedly visited the hospitals of Alexander M. André, Major John 10 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES St. Petersburg and spoken words of sympathy house, so as to satisfy himself as to the con- to the sufferers.-THEODORE SCHWARTZ, in dition of the establishment. On every table Munsey's Magazine, November, 1892. he found a commissariat dinner prepared, one of the staple articles of which was a sucking. “I suppose you fancy that we have little pig. At last, one of his majesty's attendants, freedom of speech," said a liberal-minded Rus- Prince Volkhonski, suspecting some trick, sian to M. Leroy-Beaulieu. “Well, one day a slily cut off the pig's tail and slipped it into student of one of the great crown colleges, in his pocket. On entering the next house there talking over with his comrades the reforms of again was the roast pig on the table—but this Alexander III., declared that the emperor was time without a tail. “I think," said the nothing but a tailor, meaning to insinuate prince, “that we have an old friend here." On that he was too fond of altering military uni. being questioned as to his meaning, he pro- forms. These words came to the ears of the duced the missing tail and Atted it to the police, who carried them to the sovereign. place from which it had been sliced. The imprudent youth was summoned by im- perial order to the palace. His parents al Once the introduction of lifts (elevators) ready saw him on the road to Siberia. And was recommended by the Council of the Em- what punishment do you think was inflicted pire. A small minority was against it, be- on him? The emperor ordered him to be pre cause it was alleged that foreigners were at sented with a complete uniform.” the back of the undertaking. The Czar did not confirm the bill and remarked on the A good story was told in connection with margin, “I am astonished that a majority the emperor's visit to the French exhibition. could be found to sell Russia."-CHARLES By chance somebody placed in the anteroom LOWE, “Alexander III.” of the salon where the exhibition was to take place the statue of a nude woman. The mar ALLEN, Ethan, 1737-1789. American Revo- shal of the court, who preceded the Czar, lutionary patriot. frightened by the presence of that nudity, and Allen was in church one Sunday with a fearing that it would shock the modesty of number of friends listening to a very high his majesty, or that of the ladies who accom Calvinistic minister (exact stature not re- panied him, got hold of a curtain and threw corded). The text chosen was, “Many shall it over the statue. "Leave it alone,” said the strive to enter in, but shall not be able," emperor, who had seen everything. “I know and the preacher premised his remarks by that the costume she wears is one which observing that the grace of God was certainly the French most admire.”-CHARLES LOWE, sufficient to include one person out of ten. "Alexander III.” “Secondly" disclosed the fact that not one in On the death of Admiral Shestakoff, the twenty would attempt to avail himself of late Minister of Marine, his papers were, ac- salvation. At “thirdly” it came out that but cording to custom, sealed up for inspection by one man in fifty was really an object of Di- the proper authority. Among these papers vine solicitude. “Fourthly" was announced was found a letter from the much-hated and the estimate of elect now reduced to great minister, M. Pobiedonotsoff, formerly the correctness, the sad conclusion being drawn Czar's tutor, and of late years his most trust. that but one out of eighty-when Allen seized ed adviser. In this letter, referring to some his hat and evacuated the pew, exclaiming, proposal of the admiral's, Pobiedonotsoff "I'm off, boys; any one of you may take my wrote, “You are quite right, but the Czar is chance.”—Harper's Magazine, July, 1875. too stupid to understand it." Great was the triumph of the minister's enemies when it ALVANLEY, William Arden, Baron, 1789- was found that this letter would be brought 1849. British nobleman. to the emperor's notice and the disgrace of Lord Alvanley was the most agreeable of the hated favorite was confidently expected. the company. He did not talk much, but Alexander, however, on reading the letter, what he said was pointed and witty, without merely remarked: "I know Pobiedonotsoff sarcasm or ill nature, made a joke of his own thinks me stupid; he always told me so when indiscretions, asked if there was any chance he was my teacher.” The Czar never again of the ten tribes of Israel being recovered, alluded to the subject and the ex-teacher re as he had exhausted the other two and had tained his master's confidence to the last. called out the conscription of next year.- Blackwood's Magazine, February, 1895. LORD BBOUGHTON, “Recollections." On paying a visit to one of the military 1 Lord Alvanley, when asked to go to a colonies Alexander resolved to inspect every | masquerade as Isaao of York, apologized for . Il Alexander ML André, Major John OF THE GREAT his refusal on the ground that he never could shots were exchanged without result. "What do & Jew.-N. W. WBAXALL, "Memoirs.” a clumsy fellow O'Connell must be to miss When his pecuniary affairs had become such a fat fellow as I,” said Alvanley calmly, gravely embarrassed, Charles Greville, who alluding to the insult that had provoked the was an excellent man of business, volunteered meeting. "He ought to practise at a hay- to make an arrangement with the creditors. stack to get his hand in." Driven back to London he gave the hackney coachman a sov- He congratulated Alvanley on the balance ereign. sheet being better than he had supposed. “Oh, “It's a great deal,” said the man by the way,” said Alyanley, meeting him the gratefully, “for having driven your lordship to Wimbledon.” “No, my good fellow,” the next day, "apropos of those accounts, I had peer laughed; "I give it to you, not for taking quite forgotten a debt of £55,000.”—A. I. me, but for bringing me back."--LEWIS MEL- SHAND, Cornhill Magazine, August, 1897. VILLE, “The Beaux of the Regency." A good story of B. Craven and Lord Al- vanley, when an accident happened to their ANDRÉ, Major John, 1751-1780. British carriage; the former getting out to thrash soldier. the footman, saw he was an old fellow and A foraging party from New York made an said, "Your age protects you," while Alvan- inroad into our settlement near that city. ley, who had advanced towards the postilion The neighbors soon assembled to oppose them with the same intention, seeing he was an and, though not above fifteen years old, I athletic young fellow, turned from him, say. turned out with my friends, in company ing in his waggish way, "Your youth pro with another boy, in age and size and nearly tects you.”—THOMAS MOORE, “Journal.” my own speed. We had counted on a fine It was in connection with a political chase, but the British were not to be driven statement in 1835 that O'Connell referred to | so easily as we had expected. Standing their him in the House of Commons as a “bloated ground, they not only put us to flight, but buffoon.” Dueling, though on the decline, captured several of our party, myself and was still in vogue and Alvanley at once sent the other boy among them. They presently set a challenge, which the Liberator declined on off with us for New York, and all the way as the ground that after the meeting twenty we were going my heart ached to think how years earlier in which he had killed Mr. d'Es distressed my poor mother and sisters would terre he had taken a vow never to go out be when night came and I did not return. again, Alvanley, who might have overlooked Soon as they brought me in sight of the the "buffoon,” could not forgive the allusion prison, I was struck with horror. The gloomy to his corpulence and sent word he would walls and frightful guards at the doors and thrash the aggressor, whereupon Morgan wretched crowds at the iron windows, to- O'Connell offered himself in his father's gether with the thoughts of being locked up place. It is told that while Alvanley drove in there in dark dungeons with disease and silence to the ground with his second, Dawson death, so overcame me that I burst into tears. Damer, who had the distinction of being the Instantly a richly dressed officer stepped up best dressed man at White's, the latter and, taking me by the hand, with a look of thought to himself, "Well, I see Alvanley is great tenderness said, "My dear boy, what for once made serious," and broke the silence makes you cry?” I told him I could not help by addressing his principal, “Let what will it when I compared my present sad prospect come of it, Alvanley, the world is extremely | with the happy one I enjoyed in the morning indebted to you for calling out this fellow as with my mother and sisters at home. “Well, you have done.” “The world indebted to well, my dear child,” said he, “don't cry, me, my dear fellow,” exclaimed the other. “I don't cry any more.” Then, turning to the am devilish glad to hear it, for then the jailor, he ordered him to stop until he should world and I are quits.” On the ground ap- come back. I was struck with the wonderful peared unexpectedly a Methodist parson, who difference between this man and the rest came to beg the combatants “to forego their around us. He appeared to me like a brother, sinful purpose.” His appeal to O'Connell | they like brutes. I asked the jailor who he meeting with no success, he walked across to | was. “Why, that's Major André,” said he Lord Alvanley. “Pray, sir, go and mind your angrily, “the adjutant-general of the army, own affairs," said the latter, "for I have and you may thank your stars that he saw enough to do now to think of mine." "Think you, for I suppose that he has gone to the of your soul,” the well-meaning meddler im- | general to beg you off, as he done many of plored. “Yes," retorted the peer, “but my your rebel countrymen." In a short body is now in the greatest danger.” Several time he returned and, with great joy in his André, Major John 12 Anne, Empress of Russia W countenance, called out, "Well, my boys, I've good news for you! The general has given you to me, to dispose of as I choose, and now you are at liberty. So run home to your fond parents and be good boys and mind what they tell you, say your prayers, love one another and God Almighty will bless you.”— JOHN WINTHROP, "Life of André," quoting “a Mrs. Drewy." The story [told in Mrs. Crowe's "Night- side of Nature"] goes that at the time of An- dré's execution in America a young lady in England, to whom he was engaged, was sit- ting at the piano when she suddenly screamed and fell backward in a swoon. On her recovery she explained that the Major had appeared to her hanging from a gibbet. Her friends attempted to comfort her by saying that there could be no truth in her vision, because as her lover was an English officer he would be shot, and not hanged, if his life were taken at all. When the news actually arrived it was found that the execution had taken place at the very time the young lady swooned and exactly as she had seen it in her vision. About a couple of years ago I wished to make use of this story and therefore inquired from the friend from whom I had first heard it for such authentication as he could obtain. He took some pains in the matter and the result was that the story entirely failed. André was attached, but not engaged, to the beautiful and accomplished Honora Sneyd, who after- ward became the wife of Richard Lovell Edgeworth (the father of Maria Edgeworth) and died of consumption on April 30, 1780, five months and two days after the execution of André. Further it was discovered that the representatives of André's family utterly deny the truth of the story and treat it as a fabrication.-Notes and Queries, January 11, 1879. ANGLESEA, Henry William Paget, Marquis of, 1768-1854. British peer and soldier. To Lord Anglesea, who was beating his wife, she said, “How much happier is that wench (pointing to a housemaid) than I am!” He immediately kicked the maid downstairs and then said, “Well, there is at least one grievance removed.”—HORACE WAL- POLE, "Memoirs.” Before he left London he sat to Sir T. Lawrence for the well known full-length por- trait, which has since been engraved, in his uniform as Colonel of the Seventh Hussars. When the painting was finished the artist said, “I have given your lordship a great deal of trouble, but I must entreat of you one sit- ting more, for there is something about this right leg that does not satisfy me and I must alter it.” Lord Uxbridge replied, "Not at present; I have too much to do and no time for preparation, but when I return you shall have as many sittings for the leg as you please.” He came back, but he left his leg behind him. On a board affixed to a tree, above the grave, the following inscription was written and might be seen long afterwards: "Here lies the Marquess of Anglesea's leg; Pray for the rest of his body, I beg."--Bent- ley's Miscellany, 1854. ANNE Boleyn, 1507-1536. Queen of England. Wyatt is rapturous in his commendation of her musical skill and the exquisite sweetness of her voice, both in singing and in speaking. In the true spirit of a lover, the courtly poet, when he mentions the malformation of the lit- tle finger of the left hand, on which there was a double nail, with something of an indica- tion of a sixth finger, says, “But that which in others might be regarded as a defect was to her an occasion of additional grace, by the skilful manner in which she concealed it from the observation of others.” On this account Anne always wore the hanging sleeves, men- tioned as her peculiar fashion when in France. This mode, which was introduced by her into the court of Catherine of Arragon, was ea. gerly copied by the other ladies. ... On her throat there was a protuberance, described by others as a disagreeably large mole, re- sembling a strawberry; this she carefully covered with an ornamental collar-band, a fashion which was blindly imitated by the rest of the maids of honor, though they never before thought of wearing anything of the kind. A book, assuming to be of a prophetic character, was, by some mysterious agency, placed in her chamber one day. It seems to have been of a similar class with the oracular hieroglyphic almanacs of succeeding centuries, having within its pages certain figures marked with the letter H upon one, A on an- other and K on a third; which were expound- ed as the king and his wives, and to her per- son certain destruction was predicted if she married the king. Anne, finding the book, took it up, and, seeing the contents, she called her principal attendant, a young lady named Anne Saville. “Come hither, Nan," said she. “See, here is a book of prophecies; this is the king, this is the queen, wringing her hands in mourning, and this is myself, with my head cut off.” Anne Saville answered, "If I thought it true I would not myself have him, were he an emperor." "Tut, Nan," replied 13 André, Major John Anne, Empress of Russia OF THE GREAT Anne Boleyn; "I think the book a bauble, the entertainment she experienced in her so- and I am resolved to have him, that my issue ciety, for a long time saw her suffering be- may be royal, whatever may become of me.” fore her eyes without offering the slightest This story is more deserving of credence be relief. One day, however, perceiving her cause related in Wyatt's "Memorials of Anne ready to faint, and vainly trying to support Boleyn.” It proves either that her mind was herself first on one foot and then on the other, free from superstition, or that she regard- | yet still forcing her spirits into gaiety, the ed the production as a device of the empress took compassion on her poor favorite queen's friends, who might have taken that and said: “Thou mayest lean upon that method of deterring her from her ambi table and Anna Ivanovna [her majesty's chief tious designs on the crown matrimonial of attendant] shall stand before thee and screen England.--AGNES STRICKLAND, “Queens of thee from me that I may not see thy atti- England." tude." Once she decreed that a certain prince ANNE, 1693-1740. Empress of Russia. should become a hen, to punish him for some Another mischievous importation were the trifling misdemeanor, and for this purpose she gaming tables. Manstein tells us that he has ordered a large basket, stuffed with straw seen as much as 20,000 rubles (£5,000) lost in and hollowed into a nest with a quantity of a single night at quinze and pharo. The em- | eggs inside, to be placed conspicuously in one press herself, indeed, played very seldom and of the principal rooms at court. The prince always with the intention of losing. She gen- was condemned, on pain of death, to sit on erally kept the bank and called upon those this nest and to render himself to the last de- she would to punt, paying the winners in coin gree ridiculous by imitating the cackling of on the spot, but accepting only worthless a hen.-PRINCESS DASH KOW, "Memoirs.” counters herself from the losers. Neverthe- less the fact remains that she it was who in- Her jesters used to seat themselves in troduced gambling into Russia and she must loukoshkos in the room through which she therefore be held largely responsible for the would have to pass on returning to her infinite damage done thereby.—R. NISBET apartments and cackle like mother hens. Sometimes she would make them sit in a row BAIN, "Pupils of Peter the Great." with their faces to the wall and by turns This empress expressed a great curiosity overturn each other; the jesters would then to see the Russian dance and ordered four of get into a rage, fight, pull each other by the the principal beauties of St. Petersburg to hair and scratch until the blood came. The perform it in her presence. The Princess Court went into raptures with the scene and Dashkow's mother, then in her zenith and "died” of laughing.-H. C. ROMANOFF, “His- famous for her grace in dancing, made one torical Narratives from the Russian." of the group, but, whatever their sense of this An official amuser of the imperial leisure imperial honor might have been in distin- was Prince Aleksander Borisovich Kurakin, guishing them above their fellows, they were, the only person at court who was permitted nevertheless, so intimidated and trembled to to speak his mind on all occasions. He pos- such an excess at the severe glance of the sessed the additional privilege of getting empress, that, losing all presence of mind, drunk whenever he liked, a privilege which they forgot the figure of the dance and, amid the abstemious empress allowed to no other the general confusion and dismay, were sud- person, except on the anniversary of her ac- denly electrified by the approach of her maj- cession, when bumpers were emptied in her esty, who had risen from her seat in a rage honor which amazed the English minister. and, advancing to them with the utmost dig- These zanies and mountebanks were always nity, gave each a sound box on the ear, com- at hand to divert the empress; but she seems manding them instantly to begin over again, to have enjoyed their antics most on Sunday which they did, more dead than alive. afternoon after divine service. Sometimes This empress was very fond of the Count. they were ordered to sit in a row, with ess Tchernichoff and frequently ordered her crossed legs, and cackle to imitate sitting into her presence to divert her by her amus hens. At other times the sport was more ing conversation. This poor lady became, brutal than ridiculous. Thus, very frequent- however, exceedingly unwell and her legs ly, two of these unfortunate creatures had to swelled so violently as to make it a martyr | mount on the shoulders of two of their col- dom for her to stand. The empress, never leagues, serving them as steeds, and charge conceiving the possibility of a subject being each other until both were unhorsed, when the tired and not wishing to deprive herself of struggle would be resumed on the floor, the Anne, Empress of Buseda WIT. WISDOM AND FOIBLES August IIL 14 combatants battering each other's faces and particular country, the wedding pair sitting tugging at each other's hair, till the blood apart on a dais under a canopy. After sup- came, while Anne and her favorites would per every tribe danced its national dances, stand by and laugh until the tears ran down accompanied by their own music, in the pres- their cheeks.-R. NISBET BAIN, "Pupils of ence of the Czaritsa and her court, the grace Peter the Great." and agility of the Zaparogean Cossacks being particularly admired. Then came the crown- Amongst the Russian gentlemen who had ing jest of the evening. Late at night the incurred the displeasure of the Czaritsa was wedded couple were conducted in solemn state Michel Aleksyevitch Golitsuin, who had been to a house especially constructed for them guilty of the offense (an unpardonable one in out of large, cleanly cut cubes of solid ice. the eyes of so orthodox a princess as Anne) It consisted of a stately vestibule and a large of marrying a Catholic lady during his travels dormitory, all the furniture of which, includ- abroad. ... ing the bed, the tables, the chairs, the clocks, On his return home he was degrad the candlesticks, down to the very curtains ed into a court buffoon and compelled, and toilet requisites, was of ice. Still more besides, to become one of her majesty's | remarkable, two mortars and nine cannons, pages, although he was over forty years of also of ice and mounted on ice carriages, were age and had a grown-up son who was a lieu- posted in front of the house, and, on the ar- tenant in the Guards. Nor did the cruel rival of the bridal party, they fired a salvo, scorn of the empress end even here. On the actually resisting a charge of three-quarters death of Golitsuin's Italian wife, the empress of a pound of gunpowder. The bride and bride- sent for and commanded him to marry again. groom were stripped naked in the huge re- "I will choose you a bride this time myself," frigerator and committed to their cold couch, said she, “and what is more, you shall have guards being placed before the doors to pre- a splendid wedding, the like of which has vent them from escaping before morning. never been seen before, and I'll pay all the Whether the unhappy victims of this grimly expenses myself.” She then produced the practical joke survived their nuptials we are lady, a hideous Calmuck, Anna Buzheninovna not told; but the incident affords a fair speci. by name, whom the unhappy Golitsuin at men of the Czaritsa's feline humor and is un- once accepted, lest a worse thing should be fortunately by no means a solitary instance of fall him. The empress, with the double pur- it.-R. NISBET BAIN, “Pupils of Peter the pose of humiliating the native nobility in the Great," based on A. Blanc's "History of Con. person of one of its chief members and at the spiracies," etc. same time impressing the people by an exhibi- tion of the magnitude of her power and the ARGYLL, John, Fifth Duke of, 1723-1806. extent of her dominions, then issued a ukase Scotch nobleman. commanding all the principal governors to A poacher from Grenock was brought be. send to the capital representatives of all the fore him in Roseneith. “Why,” said his grace, native races within the limits of the empire-1 "have you been guilty of this?” “I have a Lapps, Finns, Kirghiz, Calmucks, Bashkirs, small family to maintain." "Aye,” said the Tartars, Cossacks, Samoyedes, dressed in their benevolent-hearted nobleman, “what may be native costumes. They came accordingly and the number?” “Five daughters, sir, and every towards the end of the year 1739 the nuptials one of them has three brothers." "Poor man, of Michel Golitsuin and Anna Buzheninovna | that is indeed a heavy handful, and I must let were celebrated with extraordinary mock you off this time, but do not repeat the of- pomp and ceremony. The bridal pair went to fense.” Scarcely, however, had the delinquent church in a cage placed on the back of an ele quitted the room when his grace recollected phant, and after them came the procession of that five daughters with each three brothers barbarous races in still more barbarous equip only made a family of eight, and he laughed ages. Some were in carts drawn by oxen, at the poacher's pawkiness.-LADY CHARLOTTE others in carrioles pulled by pigs, goats or BURY, “Diary." dogs. The Lapps and Samoyedes, distinguished ARTHUR, Chester A., 1830-1886. President by their rough sheepskins, drove their own reindeer sledges, while Tartars and Cossacks of the United States. rode on barebacked horses. After the cere He had a remarkable memory, especially for mony the motley crew sat down to supper in faces. He was a great reader and remem- the huge riding-school which Biren had had bered all he read. At a dinner of the Burns recently erected at enormous cost, where Society he corrected a Scotchman who quoted every one was served with the dishes of his from Tam O'Shanter. They thought they 15 III. OF THE GREAT Augustus Anne, Empregs of Russia would entrap him when they asked him to re- | revise his opinion. “Mr. Duming, I appre- aite the poem. He recited it all on the spot hend I sit here, by his majesty's gracious per- and the jolly Scotchmen were so pleased that mission, to decide what is law-at this rate they elected him an honorary member, the I had better go home and burn my law books." only man who was so distinguished except the "You had better by half go home and read Prince of Wales.-AUDITOR TREICHEL of the them,” said Dunning aside, but pretty loud. New York Custom House, quoted in the Nero THOMAS GREEN in The Gentleman's Magazine, York Herald, November 19, 1886. May, 1834. He was the first president, so far as I AUGEREAU, Charles Pierre François, 1757- know, to have a valet, and one was needed, for Arthur dressed fashionably.-W. H. 1816. French marshal. CROOK, "Memories of the White House." Returning from Spain, he brought with him President Arthur revered the memory of a robe, all encrusted with diamonds and ru- Mrs. Arthur. Her picture was hung in his bies, which had been stripped from a statue of the Blessed Virgin in a Biscayan church. chamber at the White House and was by his orders decorated with a wreath of roses every Rolling up the precious garment under his morning. He sat in the pew she used to oc- cloak, he went with it by night to the hous of a favorite Jew receiver in the Quincam- cupy in St. John's church in Washington and poix. The Jew was out, but his wife sat at he gave a memorial window to the church in her honor.-FRANK G. CARPENTER in Lippin- the receipt of custom, and she at once pro- nounced that all the jewels on the robe were cott's Magazine, July, 1886. sham. “Oh, the brigands," suddenly ex- ASHBURTON, John Dunning, Baron, 1731 claimed the disgusted general. “I will allow 1783. Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancas. you ten louis for the lace,” continued the Jew- ter. ess, and a bargain was concluded on those I had very early after I was called to the terms. Some months afterwards Augereau bar a brief business in the King's Bench as ascertained beyond a doubt that the jewels junior to Mr. Dunning. He began the argu were genuine and he went off in a fury to ment and appeared to me to be reasoning very make the Jewess disgorge; she did nothing of powerfully against our client. Waiting until the sort but, looking hard at him, said, “We'll I was quite convinced that he was mistaken have the jewels appraised in a court of jus- for what party he was retained, I then tice, if you like.”—Temple Bar, August, 1883. touched his arm, and, upon his turning his head towards me, I whispered to him that he AUGUSTUS III., 1696-1763. King of Poland. must have misunderstood for whom he was They tell a pleasant story of his majesty's employed, as he was reasoning against our first declaration of love, which he made in a client. He gave me a very rough and rude visit to her [Countess of Cozelle], bringing in reprimand for not having sooner set him right one hand a bag of a hundred thousand crowns and then proceeded to state that what he had and in the other a horseshoe, which he addressed to the court was all that could be snapped asunder before her face, leaving her stated against his client, and that he had put to draw consequences from such remarkable the case as unfavorably as possible against proofs of strength and liberality. I know not him, in order that the court might see how which charmed her; but she consented to satisfactorily the case against him could be leave her husband to give herself up to him answered; and, accordingly, very powerfully answered what he had before stated.-LORD entirely, being publicly divorced in such a manner as, by their laws, permits either party ELDON, “Anecdote Book.” to marry again.-LADY MARY WORTLEY MON. Dunning, whose debauched habits often TAGU, “Letters." made him late, came shuffling into court at half past nine. Lord Mansfield was very The wardrobe of August III., second vexed. “Do you know what hour it is, Mr. Saxon king of Poland, filled two halls of the Dunning ?” Mr. Dunning, pulling out his palace, there being for each dress a special watch, "Half past nine, my lord.” “I have watch, snuff box, sword and cane. Every been here an hour, Mr. Dunning.” “Then, dress was painted in miniature in a book, my lord, we have been equally irregular, you which every morning was presented to "his half an hour too soon and I half an hour too most serene excellency," as he caused himself late.” to be called. He had as many as fifteen hun. Dunning had been strongly contesting a dred wigs.-T. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Royalty point of law and urging Lord Mansfield to ( in All Ages." Bacon, Francis Bazaine, François WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ole- BACON, Francis, Baron Verulam, Viscount | would go out for a drive in an open coach St. Albans, 1561-1626. Lord Chancellor of whilst it rained, to receive (in the quaint lan- England. guage of Aubrey) the "benefit of irrigation," I wax now somewhat ancient; one and which he was wont to say was very v thirty years is a great deal of sand in the some, “because of the niter in the air and the hour-glass. ... I have taken all knowledge universal spirit of the world." He had ex- to be my province.—LORD Bacon, letter to traordinary notions respecting the virtues of Lord Burghley. niter and conceived it to be of inestimable Whether his resources were small or value in the preservation of health. So great great, his expenditure was always in excess of was his faith that he swallowed three grains them. He was throughout life in bondage of that drug, either alone or with saffron, in to money-lenders, yet he never hesitated to in- warm broth, every morning for thirty years. crease his outlay and his indebtedness. He He seems to have been very fond of quacking saw his servants robbing him, but never raised himself; once a week he took a dose of the a word in protest. By a will which he drew “water of Mithridate," diluted with straw- up the year before he died he was munificent berry water. Once a month, at least, he in gifts, not merely to friends, retainers and made a point of swallowing a grain and a the poor, but to public institutions, which he half of “castor” in his broth and breakfast hoped to render more efficient in public serv- for two successive days. And every sixth or ice. Yet when all his assets were realized, the seventh day he drank an infusion of rhubarb amount was only sufficient to defray two- in white wine and beer immediately before thirds of his debts, and none of his magnani. his dinner. He made it a point to take air mous bequests took effect.-SIDNEY LEE, in some high and open place every morning, “Great Englishmen of the Sixteenth Century.” the third hour after sunrise, and, if possible, he made it a point to select some spot where Queen Elizabeth, when on a visit to Lord he could enjoy the perfume of musk, roses Bacon at Redgrove, happened to make an ob- and sweet violets. Besides thus breathing the servation as to the size of his house. “Mad- pure air of nature, he was fumigated with am," he replied, “my house is small, but it the smoke of lign-aloes with dried bays and is you who have made me too great for it.”- rosemary, adding once a week a little tobac- John H. JESSE, “England Under the House co. On leaving his bed he was anointed all of Stuart," citing Seaward's Anecdotes. over with oil of almonds mingled with salt To Bacon's tenderness of human life the and saffron, and this was followed by gentle poor scribbler, Hayward, owed his subsequent friction.-Bentley's Miscellany, June, 1849. length of days and authorship of other books. “There is treason in it,” said the queen, as BARRYMORE, Sixth Earl of, 1745-1773. indeed there is. “Treason, your grace,” re British peer. plies Bacon, "not treason, but felony, much Going circa 1770 into a tavern near Char- felony.” “Ha,” gasps her highness, willing | ing Cross, he ordered dinner to be served to to hang a rogue for one crime as for another; | him in a private room. On the guest's being "felony, where?” “Where, Madam? Every, left alone after the cloth was removed, the ! the whole book is a theft from Cor- | waiter heard a noise as of furniture being nelius Tacitus.” A light of laughter breaks dragged out and went up stairs and found the the cloud. “But,” says her darkening high various articles outside the room; he then ness, "Hayward is a fool; some one else has peeped through the key-hole and espied the writ the book; make him confess it; put him noble earl on his knees, busily covering the to the rack." "Nay, Madam," pleads the ad. floor with packs of cards he had brought with vocate of mercy, “rack not his body-rack his him. The waiter, who knew better than to style. Give him paper and pens, with help of call attention to what he had seen, waited books; bid him carry on his tale. By compar. ) until he was summoned by the earl, who, when ing the two parts I will tell you if he be a he had finished his singular task, paid his true man."-WILLIAM HEPWORTH Dixon, bill and departed. A few days afterwards the “Personal Life of Lord Bacon.” earl again visited the tavern, in the company During meditation he would often have of two friends, and requested that dinner be music in an adjoining room by which his served to them in the same room in which he fancy was enlivened. He had many little had dined on the first occasion. After dinner whims and peculiarities, some of which may was finished Lord Barrymore offered to bet excite a smile; for instance, in the spring he five hundred pounds "that he would guess whe 17 Bacon, Francis Bazaine, François OF THE GREAT more nearly than any of his guests how many I have received in due order and have to cards would cover the floor of the room they acknowledge at this time my obligations for were in.” The wager ... was at once ac your three agreeable letters, in date October cepted. It is unnecessary to record the name 16, 1789, May 1st and May 31st of the present of the winner.-JOHN R. ROBINSON, “The year. With the last I had also the pleasure Last Earls of Barrymore.” to receive the key of the Bastille; in acknowl- Dr. Beaufort, being asked by a priest edgment of which I write to the Marquis de whether he knew the celebrated spendthrift Lafayette by this conveyance.-GEORGE WASH- Lord Barrymore, replied, “Intimately, most INGTON, letter to Thomas Paine, Aug. 10, 1790. intimately. We dine together almost every The conversation turned almost entirely day when his lordship is in town." "What | on the French revolution. The general do you talk about?” “Eating and drinking.” | [Washington) showed us a key of the Bas- “What else ?” “Drinking and eating.”— tille; those keys of the Bastille were but silly RALPH NEVILLE, “The Man of Pleasure.” playthings which were at that time distribut- BASTILLE. ed over the two worlds.—VISCOUNT DE CHÂ- Much horror was expressed when upon the TEAUBRIAND, "Travels.” demolition of the Bastille there was discov BAZAINE, François Achille, 1811-1888. ered, under the foundation of each tower, a French marshal. small conical chamber in which a prisoner Two years later (after the death of Mme. would be able neither to sit, nor to lie, nor Bazaine] a ball was given at the quartier- to stand upright. But there is nothing to general. Bazaine, who had lately been pro- show that prisoners ever were confined in moted to the rank of marshal (1864), had these oubliettes; and M. Viollet-le-Duc, the stopped for a moment to say a few words, celebrated architect and Radical member of when one of the guests, a young Mexican the Radical Municipal Council of Paris, has girl who was waltzing by, suddenly stopped explained that these chambers of torture, near us, having torn her dress. Pins were which have excited so much eloquent indigna- produced, the damaged ruffle repaired and the tion, were simply ice houses.-JAMES B. girl passed on. “Who is that?" asked the BINGHAM, “The Bastille.” marshal, evidently much struck by her ap- Its garrison consisted of eighty-eight "In- pearance. “It is extraordinary,” he mut- valide" soldiers; . . . of forty-four soldiers tered, “how much she reminds me of my of the Swiss regiment of Salis-Samade, and wife.” He looked distrait and shortly after one officer who, as far as I can recollect, was excused himself and wandered off in the not conducted to the Hôtel de Ville. This direction Mlle, de la Pena had taken. The garrison of one hundred and thirty men lost courtship was a short one. Maximilian, in only five gunners, killed and wounded by a order to facilitate a union which he deemed citizen who, placed on the roof of one of the to be to the interest of his government, adjacent houses, picked them off under cover gave the young girl as a dowry the of the chimneys. The loss of the assailants palace of San Cosme, valued at one hundred consisted of eighty-two men killed ... and thousand dollars, and thus was May united of twenty-two men who died of their wounds. to December. Two children were born to ... They (the prisoners] numbered four the marshal, one of them in Mexico, and teen, seven of whom, for the most part never was father prouder of his young wife forgers of false cheques on the Parisian bank- and her offspring than was the marshal. ers, Tourton and Ravel, had followed the visi- | When, after the Franco-Prussian war, the tors and quitted the Bastille with them. ... marshal, having been made a sacrifice to As for the seven others, whose crimes con France's wounded pride, was court-martialed sisted in what were denominated state and, amid the imprecations of his country- crimes, ... the governor had immured them men, imprisoned in the Fort de Ste. Mar- in separate cells on the Sunday night. These guerite, his young wife, and her cousin con- the people hastened to demand as soon as trived the escape of the old man. By means they entered the Bastille, and did not allow of a rope procured for him by them he even the warders to open the doors of the lowered himself from the walls of the fort- various cells, but hastened to burst them ress. Madame Bazaine was waiting for him open, and restored the seven prisoners to in a small boat, the oars of which were held light, which several of them had not seen by her cousin. A ship was nearby, ready to for years. Only one was discovered chained sail, on which they sought refuge in Spain. to the wall of his cell.-LOUIS GUILLAUME -SARA Y. STEVENSON, “Maximilian in PITRA (Elector of Paris in 1789), "Memoirs." | Mexico." Beaconsfield 18 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES BEACONSFIELD, BENJAMIN DISRAELI, EARL OF, 1804-1881 British Prime Minister SOURCES BERESFORD, LORD, "Memoirs." MoCARTHY, JUSTIN, "A History of our Own Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine. Times”; “Reminiscences.” BRANDES, GEORGE, “Lord Beaconsfield.” MELROSE, ANDREW, “Mr. Gladstone." BRETT, R. B., “The Yoke of Empire." MELVILLE, LEWIS, The Fortnightly Re- ESCOTT, T. H. S., “Life of Lord Lytton"; | view. "Society in the Country House”; The British MEYNELL, WILFRED, “Benjamin Disraeli.” Review; The Contemporary Review; The MONYPENNY, WILLIAM F., “Life of Benja- Fortnightly Review; The New Century Re- min Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield.” view. MOTLEY, JOHN LOTHROP, “Letters.” Fortnightly Review, The. MOWBRAY, JOHN, Blackwood's Magazine. FRASER, WILLIAM, "Disraeli and his Day.” NEVILL, LADY DOROTHY, “Under Five FRISWELL, LAURA H., Temple Bar. Reigns." FBOUDE, J. A., "Lord Beaconsfield.” Notes and Queries. GARDINER, A. G., "Pillars of Society.” Quarterly Review, The. GREENWOOD, FREDERICK, Cornhill mi agazine. ROBBINS, ALFRED T., The Gentleman's GREGORY, SIR WILLIAM, “Autobiography." Magazine. HANDFORD, THOMAS W., “William Ewart RUSSELL, GEORGE W. E., “Collections and Gladstone." Recollections." HOUGHTON, LORD, The Fortnightly Review. SALTUS, EDGAR, Munsey's Magazine. JEUNE, LADY, North American Review. SAMUEL, HORACE B., The Fortnightly Re- JEYES, S. H., "Life of the Marquis of view. Salisbury." SMITH, GOLDWIN, McClure's Magazine, KEBBEL, T. E., “Life of Lord Beaconsfield.” Temple Bar. LAMINGTON, LORD, Blackwood's Magazine. Truth, London. LUCY, SIR HENRY, Chambers's Journal; VASSILI, Paul, “Behind the Veil at the Temple Bar; London Magazine. Russian Court." LYTTON, LADY, Temple Bar, VERNON, ARTHUR, Notes and Queries. MacDonagh, MICHAEL, The Fortnightly) WEST, ALGERNON, The Nineteenth Cent Review. and After. MCCALL, REV. MALCOLM, The Contempo WHIBLEY, CHARLES, Blackwood's Magazine. rary Review. urul The Exquisite gold, carried by a silken tassel. Voila l'homme, called Disraeli the Younger, as he ex- A dandy was at that time in England (as hibits himself in London society, whose latest a few years later a romanticist was in and brightest ornament he is, to an amused France) a being who, from his appearance, and astonished world. He is decked out like his dress, and his mode of wearing his hair, a woman, and more so than a woman of cor- laid claim to be regarded as a mortal out rect and refined taste.-BRANDES. of the common run. With his Oriental love She (Lady Dufferin) said she had always of show Disraeli overstepped the line ob- known and liked him in spite of his tergiver- served by the greatest dandies. He was sations and absurdities. ... She assured me handsome, and he knew it. We must imagine that she did not exaggerate in the slightest him not as he is as an old man, but as in degree in describing to me his dress when his youthful portraits, with a wild, melan. she first met him at a dinner party. He choly, poetic expression in the Byron style; wore a black Velvet coat lined with satin, with his beautiful thick hair parted on one purple trousers with a gold band running side, so that the long, glossy locks hung down the outside seam, a scarlet waistcoat, down low; with a broad limp shirt-collar long lace rules falling down to the tips of falling over the careless neck-tie; a velvet his fingers, white gloves with several bril. coat of unusual cut lined with white silk; a waistcoat embroidered with flowers in liant rings outside of them, and long black ringlets rippling down on his shoulders. gold; the hand half concealed with embroid- MOTLEY. ered ruffles; the fingers covered with rings; the breast adorned with an armor of gold The scene was one not to be forgotten by chains; and dancing shoes on his feet; in his those who witnessed it. There was some- hand an ivory cane, the handle inlaid with | thing irresistibly comic in the young man 19 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT dressed in the fantastic coxcombical costume buckles, lace at his wrists and his hair in that he affected-velvet coat of an original ringlets. We sat down. Not one of us was cut throw wide open and ruffles to its more than twenty-five years old. We were sleeves, shirt collar turned down in Byronic all-if you will allow me to include myself fashion, an elaborately embroidered waist all on the road to distinction, all clever, all coat whence issued voluminous folds of ambitious, and all with a perfect conceit of frill, and shoes adorned with red rosettes ourselves. Yet, if on leaving the table we his black hair pomatumed and elaborately had all been severally taken aside and asked curled, and his person redolent with per which was the cleverest of the party, there fume-announcing himself as the Homer or would have been only one answer. We should Dante of the age. After he left the room a have been obliged to say, "The man in the gentleman who excelled as a mimic, assum green velvet trousers.”-GREENWOOD, Corn- ing the attitude and voice of the poet, de hill Magazine, November, 1896, quoting LORD claimed an impromptu burlesque on the open DALLING. ing lines (The Revolutionary Epick) which Times are changed with Dizzy since his caused infinite merriment to those present. début when I could not get any one (except Quarterly Reviewo, January, 1889. old Lady Cook-who was celebrated for her At Malta he dined with the officers, now human menageries—and old Lady Hertford, as an Andalusian brigand, now as a Greek who let me bring whom I pleased) to let me pirate, and though we know not what the bring him to any salon in London, from his British soldier thought of his display, he grotesque appearance and ridiculous dress; himself was abundantly satisfied with the for he had got himself up as an astounding effect he produced. Indeed, throughout this facsimile of his own “Young Duke"-green famous tour, which was nothing less than a velvet inconceivables—white blonde ruffles march of triumph, he pondered deeply of and black silk stockings with broad scarlet his wardrobe and not even the difficulties of ribs! When he sent me his “Young Duke" travel compelled him to appear in disarray. to read in manuscript, I told him he could So he is found lamenting that “the king's not dress him in that way. “What!” said death is the destruction of his waistcoats”; | he, in the only paroxysm of innocent good so he boasts that a "handkerchief from Paris faith he ever had in his life, “don't young is the most successful thing he ever wore and dukes dress in that way?” “None that I have universally admired.” But it was at Gibral. ever seen.” I asked d'Orsay one day what tar that he made his proudest conquest and he'd take to dress like Dizzy. "Leave of my maintained his "reputation of being a great senses," was his reply.—LADY LYTTON, quoted judge of costume.” For not only did the | by Friswell, Temple Bar, August, 1905. fashion of discarding waistcoats in the morn- It was said that Disraeli never descended ing reveal the beauty of his peerless studs, to the use of mucilage when he could avoid but, says he, “I have the fame of being the it, preferring aromatic sealing wax, which first who ever passed the Straits with two he pressed with an Egyptian ring; or, if the canes, a morning and an evening cane. I obnoxious gum had to be used, he dipped his change my cane as the gun fires and hope cambric handkerchief into the tiny finger to carry them both on to Cairo. I owe to bowl of eau de Cologne or water with rose them more attention than to being the sup- leaves, and bathed the sticking place with posed author of—what is it?-I forget.” that.-HANDFORD. WHIBLEY, Blackwood's Magazine, May, 1898. Lord Beaconsfield had once been a dandy, It was to his sober father, Isaac Dis- and lived with the dandies; and how com- raeli, that he wrote when he was on his pletely he had caught the tone of them may travels (he was then a man of twenty-six): be seen from "Coningsby." But as he ad- “I like a sailor's life very much, though it vanced on the political stage he left his spoils the toilet.”—GREENWOOD, Cornhill dandyism behind him. His dress was always Magazine, November, 1896. in the best taste-black frock coat, gray There was my brother, Alexander Cock- trousers and well-fitting shoes on his well- burn, myself and (I think) Milnes, but for shaped feet. His garments never looked a considerable time no Mr. Disraeli. Waiting either old or new. As he walked up to the for Mr. Disraeli did not enhance the pleasure House of Commons with his coat buttoned, of meeting him; nor when he did come did he looked, men would sometimes say, as if his appearance predispose us in his favor. pleased that "he had kept his waist." He He wore green velvet trousers, a canary stooped a little in his later days, but other- colored waistcoat, low shoes with silver wise he had a very neat figure. I have Beaconsfield 20 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES said that he was not a dandy. But there chains; large, fancy-pattern pantaloons, and was one thing about which he was very par. a black tie, above which no shirt-collar was ticular, and that was his wig. When any visible, completed the outward man. A Conservative member in passing to his seat countenance, lividly pale, set out by a pair just above the front one disturbed the ar of intensely black eyes, and a broad but not rangement of the leader's "back hair," there very high forehead, overhung by clustered was always a little impatient gesture and ringlets of coal-black hair, which, combed a hand hastily raised and passed around to away from the right temple, fell in bunches the nape of the neck to repair the disorder of well-oiled small ringlets over his left if there were any.-KEBBEL. cheek.-LUCY, in Temple Bar, May, 1889, quoting “one who heard him" at his first Aspirations speech. Lord Melbourne asked Mr. Disraeli if he would like to be private secretary to a min A first speech in the House of Commons ister, and he replied that he would rather is usually treated with indulgence. The be minister himself; indeed, he meant to be notoriety which Disraeli had brought on him. Prime Minister some day. Instead of ex self by these encounters was to make him a pressing any ridicule or anger at this audac solitary exception. He had told O'Connell ity, the actual Premier talked over the diffi- that they would meet at Philippi. Three culties of the enterprise and the improbability weeks after Disraeli had taken his seat there of success. It was afterwards, when the was a debate upon some election maneuvers death of Lord George Bentinck left the in Ireland. Hard blows had been exchanged. opposition without a head, some one com Sir F. Burden had called O'Connell a paid ing into Lord Melbourne's room said, “The patriot. O'Connell replied that he had sacri. Tories have taken Disraeli for their leader," ficed a splendid professional income to defend the veteran replied, "Have they? Then the his country's rights. “Was he for this to be fellow will do it after all.”-HOUGHTON in vilified and traduced by an old renegade ?" The Fortnightly Review, February 1, 1878. Immediately after O'Connell, Disraeli rose. Henry Padwick, a sporting capitalist, who His appearance was theatrical, as usual. He afterwards fought several elections for the was dressed in a bottle-green frock coat, with Conservative party, at the time that Disraeli a white waistcoat, collarless, and with need. borrowed from him, lived in Grosvenor less display of gold chain. His face was Square. “What security,” he asked his visi. lividly pale, his voice and manner peculiar. tor, “have you to offer for these few thou- | He began naturally and sensibly, keeping to sands you ask me to lend you ?” “My brains," | the point of the debate. He was cheered by was the reply. “I accept the security," said his own side and might have got through the capitalist and Disraeli left the house tolerably enough, but the gentlemen below with the money in his pocket.-ESCOTT, Con the gangway had determined that his Philippi temporary Review, January, 1915. should not end with a victory. Of course “Heard Macaulay's speech, Sheil and he did not yet know the House of Commons. Affected expressions, which would have been Charles Grant," he wiote to his sister in 1833. “Macaulay admirable; but, between welcomed at Wycombe or Taunton, were re- ourselves, I could floor them all. This entre ceived with scornful laughter. He bore it for nous: I was never more confident of anything a time good-humoredly and begged them to than that I could carry everything before me hear him out. He was answered with fresh in that House. The time will come.”—MEL- peals of mockery. He had to speak of the VILLE, Fortnightly Review, December, 1910. alliance between the Whigs and the Irish Catholics. With a flourish of rhetoric he He ends by a prophetic recommendation described Melbourne as flourishing in one to his correspondent [Mr. Austen, December, hand the keys of St. Peter, in the other he 1829] to keep his letters, as, if he "became was going to say "the cap of liberty," but half as famous as he intended to be” they the close of the sentence was drowned in would at some future period have some derisive shouts. The word had gone out that value.—Quarterly Review, January, 1889. he was to be put down. Each time that he tried to proceed the storm burst out and His First Speech the Speaker could not silence it. Peel He was very showily attired, being dressed cheered him repeatedly. The Tory party in a bottle-green frock coat, and a waistcoat cheered, but to no purpose. At last, finding of white, of Dick Swiveller pattern, the front, it useless to persist, he said that he was not of which exhibited a network of glittering | surprised at the reception which he had 21 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT experienced. He had begun several times quarter of the House. Disraeli cannot have many things and had succeeded at last. Then, been much surprised, for he told his con- pausing and looking indignantly across the stituents later that he had been warned House, he exclaimed in a loud and remark of the reception he would meet with and that able tone, which startled even the noisy the warnings had only impelled him to face hounds who were barking loudest: "I will the ordeal the sooner. At all events he kept sit down now, but the time will come when his temper. “I wish,” he pleaded, “I could you will hear me.”—FBOUDE. induce the House to give me five minutes more," but the only response was uproar and With his un-English appearance, dandi. when to enforce his claim to a hearing he fied dress, affected manner and elaborate tried to put himself forward as virtually style, Disraeli was hardly likely at the first representative of the new members of the attempt to win the favor of the House of House he was rewarded with a "burst of Commons, nor in that jealous assembly laughter." "Now why smile? Why envy would his outside reputation either as a me?” was his good-humored retort. “Why novelist or a hustings orator do anything to should I too have a tail, if it be only for a help him. In the ordinary course, however, single night," and at this sally, we are told, he would have been certain of a hearing, but the laughter was long and general. Hence- he had gone out of his way to provoke the forth the speech became almost unintelli- hostility of the Irish, on whom the traditions gible. “I determined,” he explained to his of the House were less likely to impose re constituents later, “to be on my legs exactly straint. “We shall meet again at Philippi," the period I intended my speech should oc- had been his challenge to O'Connell and by cupy. I succeeded, sometimes in compara. rising after O'Connell he had been careful tive calm, sometimes the cheers of friends to insure that the challenge should be re joining with the yelling of foes, sometimes membered. He began with the usual appeal in a scene of tumult indescribable; but I for the indulgence which the House was in stood erect and when I sat down I sent them the habit of allowing to those who for the my defiance.” As he drew towards the close first time solicited its attention. He then he embarked upon an elaborate period, which took up a point in the speech of the “hon no doubt had been prepared for use as a pero- orable and learned member from Dublin" ration, and which, beginning with a classical (O'Connell) and when he described that allusion to the "amatory eclogue" between speech as a "rhetorical medley" the House “the noble Tityrus of the Treasury Bench langhed, and it laughed again and louder Lord John Russell] and the learned Daphne when he alluded to some subscription with [Daphnis ?] of Liskeard,” [Charles Buller] which O'Connell himself had been connected "whose amantium iræ" had resulted, as he as a project “of majestic mendicancy.” A expected, in an “amoris integratio," ending hostile tone soon began to be mingled with with a picture of the "noble lord from his laughter, but for a time the orator was able pedestal of power wielding in one hand the to proceed and on the whole not without keys of St. Peter and waving in the other"- effect. Finally, however, the hostility be but the picture remained unfinished, the con- came more marked and he was constrained clusion of the sentence being lost in shouts to renew his plea for indulgence: “I shall of laughter. "Now, Mr. Speaker," he pro- not trouble the House at any length. I do ceeded, when his voice could be heard again, not affect to be insensible to the difficulty "see the philosophical prejudices of man. of my position and I shall be very glad to re That image, I should have thought, which I ceive indulgence even from the honorable was about to complete, might have been members opposite. If, however, the honor much admired. I would have cheered it able gentlemen do not wish to hear me I will heartily if it had come from the lips of a sit down without a murmur." For a minute political opponent; and I would gladly hear or two there was comparative calm, but a, a cheer, even if it should proceed from such declaration that since the Reform Bill “the a party.” The time he had allotted to him- stain of borough-mongering had only as self had now expired. “I hope I may thank sumed a deeper and darker hue,” and that the honorable gentlemen opposite for the sin- intimidation was more highly organized than cerity of their expressions of approbation as even under the old system, awoke the storm well as disapprobation. I am not at all anew. "Hisses, groans, hoots, cat-calls, surprised at the reception I have experienced. drumming with the feet, loud conversation I have begun several things many times, and and imitations of animals” are among the I have often succeeded at the last—though noises recorded as coming from the Irish | many had predicted I must fail, as they had Beaconsfield 22 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES done before me.” (Cries of “Question! Disraeli the Younger-published a pamphlet Question!” and “Hear!" "Hear!”). And in with the title, “What is he?” The He in & voice which, by the testimony of every question was of course Mr. Disraeli, who witness, rose high above the clamor. and has always been a good deal occupied with which one even describes as "almost terrific": himself. The inquiry to which in this in- “I sit down now, but the time will come stance he volunteered a reply is said to when you will hear me.”—MONYPENNY. (Mr. have been made in conversation with the late Monypenny adds: “For the concluding por Earl Grey. That Whig chief had heard with tion of the speech I have used the report in amazement, and probably some feeling of the Mirror of Parliament, which is at once half articulate indignation, of a young un- the fullest and most intelligible.”] known in the lobbies and saloons, and un- It is certain that on the occasion of his vouched for by either Mr. Ellice or Lady Holland, who had ventured to stand against first attempt Mr. Disraeli made not merely a failure, but a ludicrous failure. One who one of Lord Grey's sons as a candidate for High Wycombe. ... Unhappily the pamphlet heard the debate thus describes the manner in which, baffled by the persistent laughter in which the younger Disraeli stood and un- folded himself for the edification of Lord and other interruptions of the noisy House, Grey has perished. It is unknown to the the orator withdrew from the discussion, shelves of the British Museum. ... In one defeated but not discouraged: At last, los- of his essays Dr. James Martineau refers to ing his temper, which until now he had pre- served in a wonderful manner, he paused in a German play in which Adam is introduced crossing the stage, going to be created. This the midst of a sentence and, looking the is something like the position in which Mr. Liberals indignantly in the face, raised his Disraeli presents himself in this early ex- hands and, opening his mouth as widely as its dimensions would admit, said, in a re- planation of himself to the wondering mind markably loud and almost terrific voice: of the old Whig peer. . . . For fifty years, “I have begun, several times, many things, the "great lubber," as he sometimes styles the nation which has made him Prime Minister, and I have often succeeded at last; aye, sir, has been rubbing its eyes and scratching its and though I sit down now, the time will head and asking, with perplexed amazement, come when you will hear me." This final | like Lord Grey's “What is He?”—Fortnightly prediction is so like what a manufacturer of Review, April, 1878. biography would make up for a hero, and is so like what was actually said in one or two There was among the Irish members of other remarkable instances, that a reader the '74 Parliament a Dr. O'Leary, a pompous might be excused for doubting its authentic little man who did not bring with him to the ity in this case. But nothing can be more House of Commons his best "bedside man. certain than the fact that Mr. Disraeli did ners." On one of the critical stages of the bring to a close his maiden speech in the Imperial Titles Bill, Disraeli was nervously House of Commons with this bold prediction. anxious to secure a majority the magnitude The words are to be found in the reports of which would be pleasing to his sovereign. published in all the daily papers of the He went more than usually out of his way metropolis.-MCCARTHY. to pick up stray votes. Chancing one evening It is well known that his failure on the to notice Dr. O'Leary bustling along ahead of him in the library corridor, he overtook occasion of his first speech in the House in him and, laying a hand familiarly on his no way daunted him and yet the failure would have daunted most men. Henry Bul- shoulder, he remarked, “My dear Dr. O'Leary, the resemblance is most striking. I really wer, afterwards Lord Dalling, told me that he drove with Disraeli from Gore House thought I saw again my old friend, Tom Moore.” The vain little gentleman was cap- after his disappointment and that he was tured. In all succeeding division on the Im. in a most dejected state. Sheil said that it perial Titles Bill the name of Dr. O'Leary was not a breakdown, it was a crash down. figured on the ministerial lists.-LUCY, in A very short time elapsed before he ad- London Magazine, December, 1903. dressed the House again and sat down amid cheers from all sides.—LORD LAMINGTON, One evening, at a party given by the Blackwood's Magazine, March, 1890. Austrian ambassador, the Countess Karolyi --who later on was to create such a sensa- Principles and Methods tion in London-Beaconsfield began talking Very early in his career, Lord Beacons. | with me and grew quite animated in explain- field-or as he then used to style himself, ing how satisfied he felt at the success of 23 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT his policy. He then told me the following tion and slowly walked out of the House. amusing story: “When I was a little boy I It never seemed to occur to Mr. Gladstone loved sugar plums, but was strictly forbidden that all this was done in order to irritate him. to eat any. My schoolfellows, who knew this, He stopped short in his speech, he clutched were constantly teasing me about it and the at the table and only after a minute or two severity of my parents. One day I became resumed his speech.--New York Evening Post, angry and made a bet that I would bring January 15, 1898, quoting London Truth. some of these cherished sweetmeats and eat "In those days, you must remember, them before the whole school. The bet was your father was a very big dog, while I was accepted, but I found it not so easy as I a very little one, and if I hadn't barked very thought to win it. I had no money to buy loud, no one would have listened to me." sugar plums and those I asked to make me Such, in the last year of his life, was Lord a present of some refused, saying that my Beaconsfield's answer to Sir Robert Peel's parents would not like it. I did not know daughter, Lady Jersey, who had just said to what to do, when suddenly the thought oc- him: “Now, do tell me what made you curred to me to use some imitation sweets abuse my father with such extraordinary which I found among my toys. I therefore personal bitterness in those far-off days?”—- brought them triumphantly to school and, ESCOTT, The Contemporary Review, January, nasty as they proved to be, ate them in public 1915. so as to show that I had been able to get what I wanted. I was horribly ill after Disraeli, in conversation with a friend, wards, but this little adventure was a lesson disclosed the secret of his ascendency in to me for the rest of my life, and I made up royal power. “When talking with the my mind always to appear to succeed even queen," he said, “I observe a simple rule when such was not the case. The world of conduct: I never deny; I never contradict; never asks you whether you eat real or imi I sometimes forget.” The inevitable contrast tation sugar plums; it only notices that you with his great rival came in when he added : have got the plums and admires you for “Gladstone speaks to the queen as if she were having had the pluck to take them."-VAS- | a public department. I treat her with the SILI. [Beaconsfield occasionally refers to the knowledge that she is a woman."--LUCY, unpleasant days of his childhood. In this Chambers's Journal, January 30, 1915. connection the following from The Fortnightly If Lord Beaconsfield, in his dealings with Review, April 1, 1878, may be of interest: the sovereign, stooped to the employment of Lord Beaconsfield describes his grandmother arts, they were of the simplest kind. He as hating her race and as detesting the very once described his method to a friend: “I name her marriage had given her, and which never contradict," he said; “I never deny; was a perpetual witness to her Jewish con- but I sometimes forget."-BRETT. nections. He adds that she was "so morti. fied by her social position that she lived He avowed that he was a flatterer, hav. until eighty without indulging in a tender ing, as he said, found the practise useful. To expression.”] the queen he “laid it on with a trowel," and with most satisfactory effect. He once opened Upon one occasion some one told Disraeli a sitting of the Privy Council with an extrav- that I was intending to vote against the agant compliment to her as an authoress. party. He put his arm on my shoulder and He was overheard pandering to her hatred said in his orotund, deliberate enunciation: of Garibaldi and, when she said she had been “My boy, don't you know that it is your told the same thing before, said, “Then it first duty to vote with your party? If every must be true, for no one would tell your one voted according to his convictions there majesty anything but the truth."-SMITH, would be no party system. And without McClure's Magazine, December, 1910. party system the government could not be carried on, as you will perceive in time." He had congratulated Queen Victoria, as LORD BERESFORD, "Memoirs." a letter writer, on surpassing Madame de Staël. "I plead guilty," was his private ad- Mr. Gladstone was in the midst of a mission, “to being a flatterer. People like geathing denunciation of Mr. Disraeli. The it. But,” he added, "with royalty you must latter sat like a sphinx, immovable and im- put it on with a trowel.”—ESCOTT, Fort- perturbable. Then he put up his eye-glass and looked at the clock, slowly rose, shrugged his nightly Review, March, 1915. shoulders as he usually did when getting up There is a little story to the effect that, in order to get his coat into the right posi- | in discussing literary matters with her Beaconsfield 24 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES (Queen Victoria), he used to speak of “we tion for the hero of a hundred fights, Mr. Dis- authors.”—LADY JEUNE, North American Re raeli took boldly and bodily, without the view, February, 1901. change of a word, rather more than a third of his prepared oration from the translation of John Bright, in defending Stansfeld, went an article in a French Review, on a French into a sort of defense of Mazzini also, and marshal, by M. Thiers.—The Quarterly Re- sternly condemned the practise of founding view, July, 1871. charges against public men on the strength of some hasty words let fall by them in the The extraordinary parallelism between hot youth of their early career. Then he the eulogium pronounced by Thiers in 1829 referred to Disraeli's early heroic poem, or on Marshal St. Cyr and that of Disraeli in extravaganza, called “The Revolutionary 1852 upon the Duke of Wellington, like that Epick,” dwelt upon the fact that Disraeli in of an outburst of Urquhart in 1841 on Cen: that poem had introduced two or three lines tral Asia and one of Disraeli in 1846 on the justifying tyrannicide, and asked whether corn laws, as well as others known to the any one would now think of denouncing the political and literary student, may be con- right honorable gentleman as a champion of sidered outside of purely Disraelian phrase.— political assassination on the strength of that ROBBINS, The Gentleman's Magazine, March, youthful effusion. Disraeli rose and, inter- 1894. rupting the speaker, denied that he had used His constant practise of alliteration and any words in the poem which could be held his professed contempt for it can be explained, to favor such a doctrine. Bright immediately but hardly such bewildering contradictions as said that he was glad he had been misin- | he sometimes launched with an evident in- formed on the subject, and at once withdrew, ! tention of having them talked about. Of with generous apology, the statement he had such was the story that went the rounds of made. So far so good. But Disraeli was gossip-journals lately (with half the point not satisfied. He published immediately omitted) of two emphatic and diametrically afterwards a new and authorized version of opposite judgments on English art-the one "The Revolutionary Epick,” which he dedi- | publicly delivered at a Royal Academy din- cated to Lord Stanley, as he then was, after- ! ner, the other adduced fifteen minutes after- wards the Lord Derby of our own times, forwards to Mr. Browning, with the first speech the purpose of proving that no such lines as still in his ears. In that speech what those referred to by Bright were to be struck Mr. Disraeli most when he looked found in the poem. Sure enough, the new upon those walls was the abounding inven. edition contained no such lines. But then tion, the exuberance of fancy displayed in the the whole story did not end quite there. works which adorned them. In the other, Some malignant person took the trouble of what struck Mr. Disraeli most was the referring to the only available copy of the paucity of invention, the barrenness of fancy, poem to be got at, the copy deposited in the which, etc. When the poet told this to Glad. British Museum, and in that copy, lo and stone, Mr. Gladstone said with manifest con- behold, were to be found the very lines re viction, "Mr. Browning, I call that hellish." ferred to by Bright, which Disraeli had -GREENWOOD, Cornhill Alagazine, November, struck out of the later edition, the edition 1896. published in order to prove that no such Disraeli had a party staying with him words had ever been written by the author. at Hughenden; he had not been well previous The re-discovered passage was published in to their visit, and one day his symptoms The Morning Star and created an immense caused great anxiety. The guests conferred sensation and then an outburst of universal and determined to send to London for his laughter. The whole incident would have physician, Dr. K. In the mean time their severely damaged the reputation of any other host became conspicuously better, and a dif- statesman than Disraeli—but somehow the public did not take Disraeli quite seriously; ficulty arose to account for the physician's regarded the whole transaction only as one presence. At last some lady broke it to him. He absolutely refused to see Dr. K., but or- of Disraeli's clever devices, and allowed him dered that dinner should be prepared and to go his way unrebuked.-MCCARTHY, conveyed to the doctor's apartment. After “Reminiscences." dinner he said, addressing the company: On one of the most solemn and memor “Will none of you go and visit the prisoner ?" able occasions within living memory, in ex- | the hint was taken, but Dr. K. departed the pressing as leader of the House of Commons next day without seeing the patient.-- the national feeling of gratitude and admira- | FRASER. 25 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT Habits to a pitch of refinement of which Ralph has no idea. My pipe is cooled in a wet silken Reminiscences of Byron were still fresh bag; my coffee is boiled with spices; and I at Geneva, and anecdotes of his eccentrici- || finish my last chibouque with a sherbet of ties, true or false, were in many mouths. pomegranate.” Some of these pipes, nine Disraeli passed the greater part of his time, feet long, were sent home to Brandenham, while there, indolently reclining in a boat, and not merely as ornaments.—MEYNELL. gazing on the beautiful scenery of the lake, and listening to stories of the poet by the It appears that he happened to mention boatman who had served him: how that in the course of an afternoon call that there Byron never exchanged a word with him were two possessions which every one owned when they were together on the water, but as a matter of course, but which he had all his life dispensed with, and insisted that the sat gloomily and silent, with a loaded pistol on each side of him; how, after being rowed old countess should guess what they were. in tempestuous weather to the castle of Chil. "I made,” she said, “every kind of conjec- lon, when the waves were so menacing that ture, but without success, and on my asking he stripped himself to the skin in order to him to enlighten me, he solemnly answered swim for his life, in the very probable event that they were a watch and an umbrella. of the boat foundering, he descended into ‘But how do you manage,' I asked, “if there Bonnivard's dungeon, always with his pistols, happens to be no clock in the room and you and remained there many hours writing; and want to know the time?' 'I ring for a how, after taking tea with Madame de Staël, servant,' was the magnificent reply. “Well,' he had challenged his boatman to swim across I continued, “and what about the umbrella ? the lake and beat him by five minutes, his What do you do, for instance, if you are in courier keeping close to him in a boat and the park and are caught in a sudden show- constantly giving him wine. These tales er ?' 'I take refuge,' he replied, with a smile were probably in part apocryphal and formed of excessive gallantry, 'under the umbrella the man's stock in trade for the benefit of of the first pretty woman I meet.'"-Black- tourists; but they appear to have had much wood's Magazine, October, 1903. effect upon the imagination of young Dis Relating to a friend how brilliant Dis- raeli, which was increased by a magnificent raeli had been during the whole evening, al- storm of thunder and lightning which he though at first he required some drawing witnessed and which recalled to him the out, my sagacious friend said, “You have grand description of a similar storm in omitted to say what lady was there." "Yes; “Childe Harold," watched from the same Mrs. Norton.” “I thought so. Disraeli boat by the poet, to his imminent peril for never lets off his fireworks unless a woman several hours. He appears henceforward to be present.”—FRASER. have taken to imitate Byron in his eccentrici He used to dine late at night and very ties, in the variety and magnificence of his sparingly, always with a bottle of Beaune. costumes, in seeking dramatic adventures and Once, referring to his hasty and assiduous in the love of Eastern travel.-The Quarterly attention, I said to Lady Beaconsfield that Review, January, 1889. I could not see how he kept going. “Ah, To Colonel Webster, who said to Dig- but,” she answered, “I always have supper raeli in his later twenties, “Take care, my for him when he comes home, and lights, good fellow; I lost the most beautiful woman lights, plenty of lights-Dizzy always likes in the world by smoking; it has prevented lights; and then he tells me everything that more elopements than the dread of a duel has happened in the House and then I clap or Doctors' Commons.” “Then you prove that him off to bed.”—MOWBRAY, Blackwood's it is a very moral habit.” ... Disraeli was Magazine, January, 1900. a great smoker in early life, beginning with He valued his independence too much to his Eastern tour in 1830. “I have not only put himself at the mercy of his creditors; become a smoker, but the greatest smoker in he got his money's worth in the way of show Malta; I find that it relieves my head," he out of every guinea he spent; but he was a said when he was in his twenty-sixth year. | rigid economist in private--careful about his At Stamboul a few months later he made the clothes, methodical in his accounts and al- Imperial perfumer's shop his daily lounge ways frugal. "How do you manage to keep and "never went to the Bazaar without | so healthy,” he was asked by a dyspeptic smoking a pipe with him"; and from Cairofop. “By dining off a sardine," was the he reports, "I have become the most accom- answer and there was some truth in this. plished smoker, carrying that luxurious art | Temple Bar, October, 1883. Beaconsfield 26 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Lord Beaconsfield's monocle, though Parliament; in reply to a quotation made known also to the elective chamber, had lit. by Peel he said: "I find no fault with the tle or nothing in common with aid to vision right honorable gentleman's quotation, for as seen beneath other parliamentary brows I find that he never makes one unless it and was in reality what was known as a has previously received the approbation of "quizzing glass,” since he chiefly resorted to Parliament.”-WEST, Nineteenth Century and it in his moods of cynical curiosity or de- | After, January, 1910. risive and contemptuous interrogation.- Disraeli, watching the new member ad- Escort, The British Reviero, September, 1914. vance to take the oath, could view the ad- Lord Beaconsfield was very fond of vent of Citizen Chamberlain, the terrible flowers and one of his favorites was the republican mayor of Birmingham, with de. primrose. After his death it became the tachment and without alarm. ...“At least," emblem of the principles which he represent. said he with his sardonic smile, “At least ed and the badge of all those who wished to he wears his eye-glass like a gentleman.”- be considered his disciples.--KEBBEL. GARDINER. Having had the honor of serving as land I have heard Disraeli say more than agent to the earl for many years, perhaps once, “The disappointed are always young."" I may be allowed to say that no one on the -FRASER. Hughenden estate doubted his lordship's keen There is a good story told of the way affection for primroses. The woodmen had Disraeli got rid of an unfortunate applicant orders to protect these plants; they were for a baronetcy upon whom, for sufficient cultivated in large numbers alongside the reasons, it was impossible to confer the honor. walk behind the manor house, known locally “You know I cannot give you a baronetcy," as the “German Forest Path,” and by the said Disraeli, “but you can tell your friends earl's directions (given to me personally dur- I offered you a baronetcy and that you re- ing the last year of his life) a clump of fused it. That's far better.”—MACDONAGH, trees in the park, where the grass grew Fortnightly Review, August, 1902. scantily, was thickly planted with ferns and primroses.—VERNON, quoted in Notes and One of the first questions I put to Dis- Queries, May 4, 1889. raeli was, “Which passion gives pleasure the latest? The conventional idea, of course, is Over this little enclosure in Lord Bea. avarice.” Ile replied, “No; revenge. A man consfield's time there wandered, nibbling at will enjoy that even when avarice has ceased shrubs and flowers as they willed, two or to please.”—FRASER. three superb pea-fowl. “Do you not," asked of his host a well-known visitor, "find these “You surprise me," said Lord Beacons. birds very destructive?" "It may be so," field, when Manning had been comparing was the answer, “but I prefer the peacock to what he regarded as the calm, broad-bal- the flower and"--pointing to blossoms which anced Gladstone of an earlier day to the his late wife had embedded into the ground- Gladstone of later years; "I thought he had “they are warned off the primroses.”—ESCOTT, always been an Italian in the custody of a The New Century Review, April, 1899. Scotchman.”—MELROSE. "I rather like bad wine,” he informed an His Caustic Wit earl at whose table he sat, and who had The boys at Higham Hall who were mem- made some excuse about the quality of the bers of the Church of England had to walk claret. “One gets so bored with good wine." some distance on Sundays to attend divine -SALTUS, Mumsey's Magazine, May, 1905. service; and it resulted from this that they Mr. Disracli once declared that the last fared rather badly at the mid-day dinner, cry to go to the country on was “That - which was usually half over by the time they government!"-JEYES. got back. Disraeli himself was among the D'Orsay, who was never free from duns, victims and his new religion had as yet and who was not above accepting a gratuity aroused in him none of the zeal of a martyr; from a tailor to launch a new coat, once so he solemnly threw out the suggestion to arched his eyebrows incredulously when his Anglican companions that it might be as Disraeli told him he did not owe a penny well if they all became Unitarians for the in London. Disraeli repeating the assertion, term of their life at school.-MONYPENNY. I the Frenchman advised him in friendly seri- Disraeli, Mr. Gladstone thought, was ousness not to let it get circulated. "People the wittiest man he had come across. in would say that you are a Russian spy-every 27 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT politician should own to £5,000 a year in but he never decried any sort of liquor, even debts or income.” It may have been owing gin. A reason he once gave for "saying some- to this hint, which had some worldly wisdom thing kind" about brandy in the presence in it, that Disraeli took no pains to contra- of a person addicted to spirits would have dict rumors which described him as deeply had a Mephistophelean ring if the subject of involved in liabilities of all sorts. “A man the observation had not been, humanly speak- in debt is a man who is trusted,” he once ing, irreclaimable: “I could not speak ill said, to the great delight of Lord George of his only friend.” “I should call brandy Bentinck; and again, he was the author of his enemy," interposed a lady. "Ah, well, a the paradox, “Out of debt, out of credit." man hates his enemy the worse for hearing Temple Bar, October, 1883. him well spoken of," was the mild retort.- Temple Bar, October, 1883. When the head of a well-known West- country family was raised to the Upper In one of Mr. Disraeli's few conversa- House a good deal of surprise was expressed tions with the Prince consort, the talk rolled at such distinction being conferred upon him, upon the simple and gentle politeness of for he had not rendered any particular ser- Highlanders, a subject upon which his royal vices to his party, having lost practically | highness was never tired of descanting. Mr. every election he had contested. Lord Bea- | Disraeli gave an illustration of this polite- consfield furnished me with the key to this | ness from his own experience. He was stay- enigma. “Well,” said he, "we really did not | ing in a Highland house when a gillie came know what to do with him, for he was posi- in to see the laird and was offered a glass tively doing us harm. Whenever he stood he of whiskey. Having tossed off the spirits, was beaten, so at last we thought the best he was asked how he liked it. “Verra weel, way to get rid of him would be to send him laird,” he answered, "sicher we puir folk to the Upper House.”—NEVILL. canna drink such whuskay as that.” Be- fore he went the laird offered him another Lord Beaconsfield once said that the most glass, which the gillie drank with the same ludicrous sight on earth was the incipient encomium as before, smacking his lips. But intoxication of a man in spectacles.-Rus. when he was gone it was discovered that the SELL. case-bottle contained water. "Nothing could The often incorrectly reported reply of have been finer than the man's tact,” con- the new Lord Beaconsfield concerning his cluded Mr. Disraeli, but he added, "Imagina- sensations in the new chamber, was, "I am tion is a powerful stimulant too in its way; dead, but I am in the Elysian fields.”— perhaps, after all, the man set up as a con- ESCOTT, The New Century Review, April, noisseur of the finer kinds of whiskey from 1898. that day.”—Temple Bar, October, 1883. In Jovial Mood Mr. Disraeli said that he did not re- Dr. Magee, the late Archbishop of York, member the inn, upon which the owner of applied to Disraeli in 1868-as is recorded the Alderneys assured him that he must be in the archbishop's biography-for an ap- mistaken. “You must remember the house, pointment. Magee at the time was dean of sir; there was a very handsome barmaid the Chapel Royal, Dublin, and being desirous there—monstrous fine gal-you must have to get to England he wrote to the prime been in the King's Arms, sir." "Perhaps," minister asking not even for a deanery, but said Dizzy, “if I had been in her arms I for any minor vacancy that might be created might have remembered it.”-KEBBEL. by the filling up of the deanery of St. Paul's. Disraeli once entertained when his wine Disraeli perpetrated a droll joke at Magee's | list was confined to a "noisy" brand. There expense. He began his reply so that on page was only some old Clout in the cellar at one of the letter the words appeared, “Rev. which Bernal (Osborne, who was also of erend Sir-I regret that I cannot comply Jewish birth] appeared to look askance. with your request," while upon turning over "Well, my dear boy,” said Benjamin play- the leaf the recipient read the reason: “I fully, "you and I may never turn up our felt it my duty to recommend to her majesty noses at old Clo'."--Notes and Queries, De- to nominate you, if agreeable to yourself, to cember 1, 1906. the vacant see of Peterborough.”--MAC Disraeli said, “When I meet a man whose DONAGH, The Fortnightly Review, August, name I cannot remember, I give myself two 1902. minutes; then, if it is a hopeless case, I al- A droll trait in him was that he spoke ways say, 'And how is the old complaint'?" enthusiastically about certain choice wines, | -FRASER. Beaconsfield 28 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES. To an author, presenting an impossible ham Lewis down to dinner.” “Oh,” was the book: “Many thanks; I shall lose no time answer, "anything rather than that insuffer- in reading it.”—MEYNELL. able woman. But Allah is great." With On hearing that Mr. Gladstone was in these words the future Lord Beaconsfield excellent form as the guest of Lady Cooper walked up to the lady he was afterwards to at Wrest Park (November, 1879) Lord Bea- marry, whose acquaintance, like so many consfield, who was not above a pun, said, other opportunities of his life, he thus owed "Doubtless, he thinks that I, the wicked, to his brother novelist.–Escort, “Life of will cease from troubling, while he, the Lord Lytton.” weary, is at Wrest."- MEYNELL. “My mother,” said Lady Lytton, "went to “What is the difference between a mis- call upon Mrs. Wyndham Lewis, to condole fortune and a calamity?” somebody asked a with her upon the death of her husband. She had no sooner entered the room when the new definition from Disraeli. The ques- tioner, being no literalist, but a man of liberal widow came forward, all smiles and eagerness. understanding, got the reply: “Well, if 'Congratulate me, my dear,' she exclaimed, Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would 'Disraeli has proposed.'”-FRISWELL, Temple be a misfortune; and if anybody pulled him Bar, August, 1905. out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.”— He has himself written that the most MEYNELL. (Edward Legge, in his “The exquisite moment in a man's life was when Empress Eugénie," tells this same anecdote he surprised his lady love reading the manu- with Napoleon III. giving the identical script of his first speech and the sympathy answer to the question asked by the Prince of Mrs. Disraeli in his successes may well Imperial, with Prince Jerome Napoleon as have given them yet a further charm.- the butt.) SAMUEL, Fortnightly Review, February, 1905. Mrs. Disraeli and Mrs. Willyams There was a little joke between them which I heard from the late Dean of Salis- His debts were growing. He had again bury. "You know that I married you for borrowed for his election expenses. It was your money," Disraeli would say to her. “Oh, hinted to him that he might mend his for- yes, but if you were to marry me again you'd tune by marriage. “Would you like Lady marry me for love, wouldn't you ?” was the - for a sister-in-law ?” he writes to Miss regular reply. "Oh, yes," the husband would Disraeli. “Very clever, £25,000 and domes- exclaim, and the little nuptial comedy was tic.” “As for love,” he added, "all my friends ended.—KEBBEL. who married for love and beauty either beat “My wife," he said to Hamber, “was a their wives or live apart from them. This child of nature, unversed in books, and is literally the case. I may commit many follies in life, but I never intend to marry ignorant of whether the Greeks or Romans came first. She loved primroses, therefore I for love, which I am sure is a guarantee of do so too.”—ESCOTT, “Society in the Country infelicity.” House." He was introduced by Lytton Bulwer, It was ludicrous, the tokens of affection "at particular desire,” to Mrs. Wyndham and apparently of admiration which he lav. Lewis, "a pretty little woman," he says, “a ished on "Marianna" as we irreverently called flirt and a rattle-indeed, gifted with a volu- her. One evening, on coming up from din- bility, I should think, unequaled. She told ner, he knelt before her, and, as they say me she liked silent, melancholy men. I in novels, devoured both her hands with answered that I had no doubt of it.”- kisses, saying at the same time in the most FROUDE. lackadaisical manner, “Is there anything I The party [Bulwer, Disraeli and others] | can do for you, my dear little wife?” And had assembled in the drawing room; before yet this ungainly, repulsive-looking woman going down stairs, Disraeli holding after his was deserving of his affection. She had saved fashion his coat-tails on his arm, displayed him from perdition and set him up on high on his garment the marks of the chair on among the people. All her wealth was valued which he had been sitting. As he came to by her only as far as it could assist his where his hostess had been sitting with one objects. She watched him like a faithful of her guests, Samuel Rogers, the latter dog, understood his every fancy, habit, whispered, “Disraeli, the Jew, with the brand thought; in fact, lived in him and for of cane upon him.” “I want you, Mr. Dis- him. I know of few anecdotes of devotion raeli,” said the hostess, "to take Mrs. Wynd- | finer than her conduct when one afternoon 29 Beaconsfield OF THE GREAT she had driven him to the House of Com greatest delight was that at which he was mons. He was speaking to her at parting, able to decorate her with a peerage.- and somehow she got her finger inside the FROUDE. carriage door, which he shut forcibly. The wife of the lordly proprietor was Though dreadfully crushed and in agony, she a person of exceptional refinement and a deep never exclaimed or even mentioned the mat- and sincere sense of propriety; she had care- ter until he returned home. He was going fully swept from the walls all pictures of a to make a great speech and she thought if character that our less squeamish forefath- she uttered the least cry, or had given him ers would not have objected to. As it hap- to know he had hurt her, his thoughts might pened, in the bedroom allotted to Mr. and be distracted.—GREGORY. Mrs. Disraeli one picture remained, not in The carriage incident is well known. any way exceeding those works of great ... That is perfectly authentic, and there artists displayed in the National Gallery, but are other stories like it.-FROUDE. of a decidedly classic character as regards Many of the younger members pressed drapery, such as might have attracted the Mr. Disraeli to return with them and have attention of the gentleman who signed him- supper at the Carlton; but, as Lady Beacons- self "A British Matron.” At breakfast, the field told me afterwards, with manifest pride first morning after their arrival, Mrs. Dis- and joy, "Dizzy came home to me.” And she raeli addressed the lady of the house in these then proceeded to describe the supper: "I words: “I find that your house is full of had got him a raised pie from Fortnum & indecent pictures." Knowing well the char- Mason's, and a bottle of champagne, and he acter of their hostess, dismay might have ate half the pie and drank all the cham- been observed on the faces of the guests; pagne, and then he said, 'Why, my dear, you undaunted, Mrs. Disraeli continued: “There are more like a mistress than a wife.'” And is a most horrible picture in our bedroom; I could see that she took it as a very high Disraeli says it is 'Venus and Adonis.' I compliment indeed.—KEBBEL. have been awake half the night trying to prevent his looking at it.” I know this Mr. Wyndham Lewis, who had brought to be true; the elder son of the house told Disraeli into Parliament, died unexpectedly | it to me, who was present at breakfast.- the year after. His widow, the clever, rat- FRASER. tling flirt, as he had described her on first acquaintance, after a year's mourning, be- When in Edinburgh in 1867 he had a came Disraeli's wife. She was childless. She great and enthusiastic reception from the was left the sole possessor of a house at democracy. “We did not go to bed until Grosvenor Gate and a life income of several quite late," he said the next morning. “Mrs. thousands a year. She was not beautiful. Disraeli and I were so delighted with our Disraeli was thirty-five and she was ap- meeting that we danced a Scotch reel” (or proaching fifty. But she was a heroine, if was it an Irish jig?) "over it in our bed- ever a woman deserved the name. She de room.”—MCCALL, Contemporary Review, voted herself to Disraeli with a complete June, 1881. ness which left no room in her mind for any My father was one day driving out at other thought. As to him, he had said that and at the close of the evening he he would never marry for love. But if love, took Lady Beaconsfield down to her car- in the common sense of the word, did not riage; as he did so, he remarked: “Mr. exist between these two, there was an affec- Disraeli spoke most eloquently to-night. And tion which stood the trials of thirty years how well he is looking.” The viscountess and deepened only as both declined into age. looked up into my father's face with a pleased She was his helpmate, his confidante, his ad- expression. “Ah," she said, "you think he viser; from the first he felt the extent of looks well; you think him handsome. Yet his obligations to her, but the sense of people call him ugly; but he is not; he is obligation, if at first felt as a duty, became handsome; they should see him asleep.”— a bond of friendship perpetually renewed. FRISWELL, Temple Bar, August, 1905. The hours spent with his wife in retirement were the happiest that he knew. In defeat At the first word about Manchester or victory he hurried home from the House Lady Beaconsfield straightway began to tell of Commons to share his vexation or his of Dizzy's triumphs with a precipitation, a triumph with his companion, who never be joyful eagerness and sparkle that spoke lieved that he could fail. The moment in his more of eighteen than of eighty. Here were whole life which perhaps gave him the the affection and volubility, both together, Beaconsfield Benefit of Clergy 30 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES untired. From that I could believe nearly both advised him not to neglect a request all the dinner-table stories of her devotion, which might have meaning in it. He went. and her admiration; even this: She was one By the side of the fountain he found sitting evening in company with some ladies when an old woman, very small in person, strange. the conversation wandered into talk of fine ly dressed and peculiar in manner, such a figures: Mr. A's, Mr. B's, Captain C's. The figure as might be drawn in an illustrated old lady let them run on and then said story for a fairy godmother. She told him pityingly, “Ah, you should see my Dizzy in a long story of which he could make nothing. his bath."-GREENWOOD, Cornhill Magazine, Seeing that he was impatient she placed an November, 1896. envelope in his hand which she said contained At Mount Braddon, at Torquay, there a statement of the case on which she desired a high legal opinion. resided an elderly widowed lady, named Mrs. She begged him to Brydges Willyams. She was of Jewish examine it at leisure. He thrust the en- birth, daughter and heiress of a certain Men- velope carelessly into his pocket, and, sup- dez da Costa, who traced his origin, like posing she was not in her right mind, thought Disraeli, to a great family in Spain. Her no more of the matter. The coat which he husband, one of the Willyamses of Cornwall, was wearing was laid aside and weeks passed who was a man of some note there, had died before he happened to put it on again. When in 1820. His wife was left without children; he did put it on the packet was still where she had no near relations and with a large it had been left. He tore it open and found a banknote for a thousand pounds as an fortune at her disposal. She was reputed, humble contribution towards his election because perhaps she lived much in retire- ment, to be of eccentric habits. Being vain expenses, with the case for the lawyers, of her race, she was attracted by Disraeli's which was less absurd then he had career and she was interested in his writ. expected. This was, of course, submitted to ings. A Spanish Jewish origin was common a superior counsel, whose advice was sent at to herself and to him and some remote con- once to Torquay with acknowledgments and nection could, I have heard, be traced be- apologies for the delay. I do not know what tween the house of Lara, from which Disraeli became of the thousand pounds. It was prob- descended, and her own, Mendez da Costa. At ably returned. But this was the beginning of an acquaintance which ripened into a last, at the beginning of 1851, she wrote to him, professing general admiration and ask. close and affectionate friendship. ... The ing for his advice on some matter of busi- curious and delicate idyll was prolonged for ness. Men whose names are before the world twelve years, at the end of which Mrs. often receive letters of this kind from un- Willyams died, bequeathing to him her whole known correspondents. Disraeli knew noth- fortune and expressing a wish, which of ing of Mrs. Willyams and had no friends at course was complied with, that she might be Torquay whom he could ask about her. He buried at Hughenden, near the spot where threw the letter into the fire and thought no Disraeli himself was to lie.-FROUDE. more of it. ... The lady wrote again, press Mrs. Willyams must have been at least ing for an interview and appointing as a place seventy when Disraeli first corresponded with of meeting the fountain in the Exhibition her in 1851. She was probably older.- building. The Disraeli of practical life was MONYPENNY. as unlike as possible to the heroes of his own It must have been a little embarrassing novels. His mysterious correspondent might be to Lord Beaconsfield, when, having in 1863 young and beautiful or old and ugly. In dropped most of the fancies of his romantic either case the proposal could have no at- youth, he found that the mysterious Mrs. traction for him. His person was well known Brydges Willyams of Torquay had left him and an assignation in so public a place could £40,000. For she stated her “wish and de- not pass unnoticed. In his most foolish sire that he should obtain permission of her years he had kept clear of entanglements majesty to use and adopt the names of the with women and did not mean to begin. He families of Lara and Mendez da Costa in was out of town when the letter arrived. addition to that of Disraeli.” As a matter He found it when he returned, but again left of fact Lord Beaconsfield had no claim what- it unnoticed. A third time, however, the ever to the names and arms of either. The lady wrote and in more pressing terms ap Laras, who had adopted the name of a Mar- pointed another hour at the same place. The rano (secret Jewish) family who had adopted perseverance struck him as singular. He the “Gothic surname" of the great Spanish showed the note to two intimate friends, who | house of Lara, had no "arms" except those 31 Beaconsfeld OF THE GREAT Benefit of Clergy attached to their pushful shoulders. And the only connection his lordship had with the Mendez family was that his greatgrand- father's first wife was a Mendez Furtado.-- Notes and Qucries, April 10, 1915. All three, benefactress and beneficiaries, now lie together, just outside the east end of the church, and one monument, on the outer walls of the de Montfort chapel, records the names and legends of them all.-MONY- PENNY. BEAUMARCHAIS, Pierre Augustin Caron de, 1732-1799. French diplomatist. The Count de Mirabeau lived almost en- tirely by what he borrowed; he came to see Beaumarchais; they only knew one another by reputation; the conversation between them was lively, animated and witty. At last the count, with the levity customary with bor- rowers of quality, asked Beaumarchais to lend him twelve thousand francs. Beaumar- chais refused him with that original gaiety which distinguished him. “But you could easily lend me that amount,” said the count. “Without doubt,” replied Beaumarchais, “but, Monsieur le Comte, as I should have to break off with you when the day of payment arrived, I would rather do so at once. I gain twelve thousand francs by it."-LOUIS DE LOMENIE, “Beaumarchais and his Times," citing Gudin. A courtier who had boasted that he would disconcert the protégé of “Mesdames de France," Beaumarchais (who earlier in life had followed the trade of watchmaker] met him in the midst of a numerous group, just as he was coming out of the princesses' apartments, arrayed in his court suit, and said, as he handed him a very fine watch: “Sir, as you understand watchmaking, I wish you would have the kindness to examine my watch; it is out of order.” “Sir," replied Beaumarchais calmly, "since I have ceased to practise the art, I have become very in- expert.” “Oh, sir, do not refuse me the favor I ask.” “Very well, but I give you notice that I have become very awkward." Then, taking the watch, he opened it, raised it in the air, and, pretending to examine it, let it fall to the ground. Upon which he made a low bow to the proprietor of the watch, saying, “I had warned you, sir, of my extreme awkwardness.” He then walked away, leaving the nobleman to pick up the remains of his watch.-LOUIS DE LOMENIE, "Beaumarchais and his Times.” He obtains from Louis XVI. a com- mission to go to London and there induced, by means of bribery, a certain Jew to destroy all the copies of a scandalous libel on Marie Antoinette. Having settled the business for £1400 and seen to the destruction of the Eng- lish copies, he and the Jew set out for Hol- land, to attend to the suppression of an edition which is being prepared at Amster- dam. The Jew escapes and Beaumarchais, pursuing him with infinite trouble, catches up with him near Nuremberg, on the border of a forest, and by sheer force despoils the rogue of the one copy of the libel which the son of Shem had saved for the purpose of reprinting it. So far, so good; but just at this moment Beaumarchais is attacked by brigands. He makes a gallant fight of it, despite their bringing up of overwhelming reenforcements. He finally escapes, indeed, but is badly wounded and after much delay, caused by the acute physical suffering he is enduring, and the necessity of writing pathet- ic accounts of the affair to his friends in Paris, with obscure hints that it would not be unwise for them to prepare for the worst, he makes his way to Vienna. There he ob- tains an audience with Marie Theresa, tells her the whole story, begs her to have the Jew pursued and arrested, and reads her enough of the libel to pique the good lady's interest. Again so far, so good. But a skeptical minister of the empress, whose ad- vice she has sought, is unfeeling enough to have the hero Beaumarchais arrested and an inquiry instituted into the affair. Where- upon it is discovered that there is no Jew at all, that the thrilling adventure in the forest is an audacious piece of fiction and that the wounds on the strength of which Beaumar- chais recommended his Parisian friends to think of his epitaph were no more serious than those a man generally makes upon his own person. Then comes the cream of the story. The French authorities stand by him and he is not only released by Kaunitz, but offered a thousand ducats as a slight solace to his wounded feelings. Like a Frenchman and a man of honor, he declines the gift; but upon his return to France a diamond is pressed upon him, and this his conscience permits him to accept, with a feeling that his virtue has at last been recognized and rewarded.- ERNEST NEWMAN, The Fortnight- ly Review, October 1, 1909. BENEFIT OF CLERGY. Benefit of clergy is thus described by Mis- son: About six hundred years ago, in the reign of William II., the people of England were so strangely ignorant that the very priests could hardly read. The king, in or- der to bring the people out of such a state Benjamin, Judah P. Benton, Thomas H. 32 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of darkness, made a law, that in certain though President Jefferson Davis apparently cases, as manslaughter, theft (for the first defied public opinion by promoting him to the time) not exceeding the sum of five pounds post of Secretary of State at the time he sterling (and committed without burglary or relieved him of the war portfolio, in conse- putting the person robbed into bodily fear), quence of the censure of a congressional in- polygamy, etc., the convict might save his vestigating committee. Decades after the life, and escape with no other punishment event, Benjamin, in a private letter to a than burning in the hand, if he were so great | friend, explained this enigma: he had found a scholar as to be able to read; and, al that he could not justify himself before the though there is at present hardly the mean commission without betraying the unknown est peasant in England but what can read, dearth of ammunition which the Confederate yet the law is still in force. They say to the forces suflered from at the time, and the criminal, Thou, N., who art convicted of hav discovery of which would have been quite ing committed such and such a crime, what certain to have reached the ears of the enemy, hast thou to demand in favor of thyself, to so Benjamin, with Davis's consent, sacrificed hinder sentence from being passed upon thee? himself and withheld the evidence which The criminal answers, I demand the benefit would have cleared him before the committee of clergy. His demand is granted and the and the country.-MAX J. KOHLER, No. 12 of ordinary of Newgate gives him a book, printed Publications of the American Jewish His. in the old Gothic letter, in which the crim torical Society, citing B. H. Wise's "Life of inal reads a few words. Then the lord Henry A. Wise.” mayor, or one of the judges, asks the ordi. I once went to him myself to ask an nary, Legite, vel non! And the ordinary an- explanation of a new system that had grown swers, Legit ut clericus. However, when the up in the export trade from New York to criminal has a right to demand the benefit Liverpool. He gave me at once, as was his of clergy they seldom give themselves the manner, a short and clear account of the trouble to examine whether he can read or practise and also explained the legal results no; be he the greatest scholar in the world, or the greatest blockhead, 'tis all a case, so and the rights of the parties. This led to he give but a little spite of money to the a curious sequel, for within a few weeks I was retained for the plaintiff in chancery against ordinary, who tells him in a low voice (which the defendants. When the case came on for the whole court may hear) three or four hearing before Vice-Chancellor Malins, I duly words, which he pronounces, and there's an appeared, feeling confident of success, not end of the matter. 'Tis always taken for granted that a peer can read, and he is only from my own opinion of the plaintiff's rights, but according to the view expressed never burned in the hand when he claims the by Benjamin that he was in the right. I benefit of clergy.-JOHN ASHTON, “Social Life found opposed to me for one of the defendants in the Reign of Queen Anne.” Sir Roundell Palmer, for the other Mr. Ben- BENJAMIN, Judah Philip, 1811-1884. jamin. Palmer's case was postponed on the American statesman. ground of personal convenience, but he told me while he waited for the judge to come "Never keep any letter or other document into court that the point was quite new to if you can possibly help it. You only give him. Benjamin and myself occupied the whole yourself infinite trouble and, if you die, you day with our arguments and the Vice-Chan- bequeath a legacy of mischief. Of course, cellor, after much doubting, delivered a you may have a piece of business going on judgment against the view presented by Mr. which compels you to preserve correspon- Benjamin and in favor of that with which dence for a time, but do not keep it a moment he had furnished me when I had sought his longer than is absolutely necessary."-PIERCE aid.--BARON POLLOCK, Fortnightly Review, BUTLER, “Judah P. Benjamin." March 1, 1898. “When I do not agree with Benjamin I His custom, noted even while he was will not let him talk to me,” said Slidell, who practising in New Orleans, of beginning his was his friend; "he irritates me so by his argument by a bold statement of the proposi- debonair ways."--GAMALIEL BRADFORD, "Con- tion he intended to maintain, which some- federate Portraits.” times needed all his subtlety of logic in order It is well known that he was severely to seem reasonable at all, was indirectly re- criticized for his conduct of the campaign sponsible for one little incident that made a around Roanoke Island in 1862, while Sec deep impression in England. It was in the retary of War of the Confederate States, | case of the London & County Bank vs. Rat- 33 Benjamin, Judah P. OF THE GREAT Benton, Thomas H. cliffe, which Mr. Russell Roberts, one of the until they determined to play a joke upon junior counsel, declares to have been exceed- him. Accordingly, they took his cravat, ingly puzzling in its facts, that Mr. Ben- while he was asleep, and hid five dollars in jamin had his difficulty, May 19, 1881. As it; and the next morning at breakfast one senior counsel for the appellants in the House of the lads put his hands into his pockets, of Lords Mr. Benjamin insisted on proceeding said he had lost five dollars and asserted that with his argument as he had planned it, in some of the party had taken his money. All spite of signs of impatience on the part of protested innocence, but finally it was pro- the members. At length, upon his stating one posed to search every one and the money was of the propositions that he meant to defend, of course found secreted on Benton's person. Lord Selborne, the Lord Chancellor, remarked His anger and mortification knew no bounds, sotto voce, but in a tone that reached the while his tormentors enjoyed their triumph counselor's ear, “Nonsense." Changing color for some time, but finally explained to him slightly, says Mr. Roberts, from whom I take the trick they had played. The miserable these facts, Mr. Benjamin “proceeded to tie joke grew to a story, or a whole progeny of up his papers. This accomplished, he bowed stories, of his having been caught stealing gravely to the members of the House, and while a young fellow and, with the immense saying, "That is my case, my lords,' he turned vitality which always characterizes such ru- and left the House." The junior counsel was mors, would never down. To the very end therefore compelled to go on as best he of his public career, quite as much as half a might. "On the following day the respond- century after the joke was played, the charge ent's counsel was heard and, a reply being it grew into was whispered abroad against called for, Mr. Horace Davey, Q. C., on the him, was thrown at him by Foote in their 23d day of May, rose to address the House, contest, and was regularly unearthed and Mr. Benjamin being absent. On Mr. Davey's brought to bear whenever his name was men- rising, the Lord Chancellor said, 'Mr. Davey, tioned for the presidency. To the same par- it is unusual for the House to hear three entage is doubtless also to be traced the story counsel for the same party and we have al that he got into a violent quarrel at the ready heard Mr. Benjamin and Mr. Russell University of North Carolina and was ex- Roberts. I notice Mr. Benjamin's absence, pelled from his literary society for theft. however, and I feel that it may be attributed Years later, this story goes on, after he had to his having taken umbrage at an unfortu- become a great man, the authorities rein- nate remark which fell from me during his stated him and sent him notice to that effect, argument and in which I referred to a prop but he, disgruntled at what he thought ser- osition he stated as nonsense. I certainly vility on their part, simply returned it with was not justified in applying such a term to the laconic answer, “Go to hell.” anything that fell from Mr. Benjamin and I Coming to Washington from California, wish to convey to him my regret that I should where he had become a believer in Benton's have used such an expression.' Mr. Davey hard money theories, Keyes called on Benton conveyed to Mr. Benjamin what had been and explained how admirably the theory said by Lord Selborne and induced him to worked on the Pacific slope, and then went write a note to Lord Selborne acknowledging on to explain his conversion and added that the apology.”—PIERCE BUTLER, "Life of Judah he had sworn in his own heart never to P. Benjamin." take another bank note. All this was well Lord Selborne sent a messenger to Mr. enough, but, when he continued that upon Benjamin, after the latter had left court, of landing recently in New York and driving fering an apology and begging him to re home in a hack, he had handed the driver a turn, which Mr. Benjamin declined to do, five-dollar gold piece and allowed him to much to the chagrin of his clients (a large hand back a three-dollar bill in change, Keyes London joint-stock bank) whose case he was writes that “Old Bullion's countenance under- arguing on appeal, the brief being marked went a change and with an air and voice that one thousand guineas.-FRANCIS LAWLEY, would have suited a Caliph of Bagdad he The Athenæum, May 12, 1888. rebuked me— 'Young man,' said he, ‘you were BENTON, Thomas Hart, 1782-1858. Amer wrong to take the three-dollar note--you had ican statesman. no right to barter your principles. The paper Upon some occasion-probably while he you received was probably without intrinsic still lived in North Carolina—he and a num- / value. Such notes pass from hand to hand ber of his cousins were staying together some like counters of gamblers and are not in- where and his manner irritated his associates tended to be redeemed. They enrich knaves, Benton, Thomas E. Bernadotte, Marshal 34 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES tors." sir, and rob the industrious. Better return It is said that one day he intended to to your California teachings.' A little more answer a speech of Calhoun's, but, hearing in the same strain and I left, feeling as that Calhoun was prostrated by illness and though I had been tossed by a bull.” could not be present, he announced, “Benton A merchant from New York was endeap. will not speak to-day, for when God Almighty oring to obtain from Congress a subsidy for a lays his hands on a man Benton takes his off.”—MEIGS. line of steamers to Panama or some other for- eign port and had an agent in Washington to A short time after Calhoun's death a look after the matter. This agent met Benton friend said to Benton, “I suppose, Colonele one day and asked him why he could not aid you won't pursue Calhoun beyond the grave?” them. He genially replied, "I might upon to which he replied, “No, sir. When God Al- certain considerations." The man was de mighty lays his hand upon a man, sir, I take lighted and answered, “Name your conditions, mine off, sir."-OLIVER DYER, “Great Sena. senator; Mr. — will give you anything you ask.” “Well, the conditions are that when With Buchanan he had friendly relations the vessels are finished they will be used to for many years, though not always one of his take all such damned rascals as you are out warm admirers. In 1856 when he supported of the country.” his, as against his own son-in-law (Fremont), When the “Thirty Years' View” was not one word was said in derogation of Ben- about to come out, the publisher sent some ton's conduct because of his known fidelity one to consult him as to the number of copies to principle. it would be advisable to print, but the answer In his dealings in financial matters Ben- was, “Sir, they can ascertain from the last ton was exceedingly conscientious. He ab- census how many persons there are in the horred debt and, as we have seen, desired that United States who can read, sir,” and no good money only be used. At one time he re- other suggestion would he make. fused to take his senatorial pay in notes, A story is told by Keves of a slight and though they were perfectly good, and insisted modest Jerseyman who called to explain his on “the hard or a protest,” which he wrote invention of a salt boiler, but got no further across the face of the draft. He did protest than the first words, for Benton at once took and the matter was settled so that he actual- up the subject, gave him a dissertation of an ly got gold, but the incident was not very hour's length upon salt from the day of forceful as a precedent until after his whole Lot's wife to modern times and then bowed plan of specie payments had been worked out. him out with a “Good morning, sir," which He was always ready to talk about health frightened out of his head any thoughts to any one who would listen to his views and, he may have had. seeing how he had been snatched practically Colonel Switzler has written to me that, from the jaws of the grave by his own severe when once publicly asked his age, the an- regimen, he had some reason for faith in his swer he gave was, “Chronologically Benton is practise. He was daily rubbed down by a about sixty-eight; but if Benton's country negro servant with a horse brush, which or Benton's friends want anything done, Ben- would have almost made a Spartan quail. ton is forty-five."-WILLIAM M. MEIGS, "Life He began this in youth, when fleeing from of Thomas H. Benton.” Copyright, J. B. Lip- consumption, and kept it up to the end, al- pincott Company, though it must have taken a very stoical A farmer of bushy head and unshaven mind to submit to its tortures.-JOSEPH M. face called out to Colonel Benton and in ROGERS, “Life of Thomas H. Benton." quired to know his age. Promptly the colonel Dyer says that this was done down to replied, “According to the Calendar, my age is the hips in the morning, as a portion of a seventy-four, but when anything is to be done daily bath, while in the afternoon the like I am thirty-five years old, sir.”_L. T. COL- treatment was afforded to his person from the LIER, Missouri Historical Review, April, 1914. hips to the feet. So hard was the brush used He was by no means fond of some of the that Benton would grimly assure wondering inconveniences of travel and when there was friends that they would cry murder if barely a lack of rooms at some hotel he announced touched with the implement, and when they that “Benton sleeps in the same bed with no shook their heads and asked why he did it, man" and told a younger member of the party his reply was, “The Roman gladiators did it, that he could take one of the mattresses off sir."-WILLIAM M. MEIGS, "Life of Thomas the bed and sleep on the floor.--MEIGS. L H. Benton." 35 Benton, Thomas H. OF THE GREAT Bornadotte, Marshal library, where after his never-omitted rough rubbing with flesh brushes, he would roll him- self in a white flannel gown over his under: clothes and write until a late breakfast hour. - JESSIE BENTON FREMONT, The Independent, January 29, 1903. He introduced me to a lady once, “Mrs. C., a friend of my wife's, madam: need I say more?"-VARINA DAVIS, "Jefferson Davis." Col. James H. Birch of Plattsburgh and himself were not on friendly terms. ... Benton had finished his speech, Birch ad- dressed the chair and when in the act of addressing the convention, Benton quickly rose and, taking up his hat and cloak, was about to leave the hall, but friends inter- rened and at last prevailed on him to remain. This feud continued and it is related that afterwards, during the same year, Benton had an appointment to speak in Platte City, the day being fixed. On his arrival he learned that Birch had spoken there the day before. Benton was angered and declared that he would not speak from the platform that Birch had occupied the day before, and persistently refused to speak until his friends arranged a place outside of the town limits, where he at last addressed the crowd assembled.-COLLIER. The animosity between Foote, of Missis- sippi, and Benton, of Missouri, was well known. It is a matter of record. . . . Mr. Foote said that he would write a little book in which Mr. Benton would figure very large- ly. Mr. Benton heard of this and replied in his characteristic way to his informant: "Tell Foote that I will write a very large book in which he shall not figure at all.” The “Thirty Years' View” will show how faithful- ly the promise was kept.-Harper's Magazine, September, 1859. I have seen a black woman with a bas- ket of clothes turn down the area steps, glazed and slippery with falling sleet. My father, passing on his way to the senate, sees this, speaks to the woman, turns and makes her go up the front steps, on which aslies had been thrown, helps her basket up, rings the bell and says: “I have brought her up; have ashes put on the basement steps; they are dangerous." This I saw from a window, when my father was nearly seventy. You must realize the enormity of a slave going with a bundle to a front door to know what this contains of courage and justice and use of position to enforce justice. When my father's Washington house was burned it gave so much pain to every one that both houses adjourned and the silent, help- less crowd bared their heads to my father, as he came to the ruin of his house. "It makes dying easier," he said to me; "there is so much less to leave.” My father always rose with the first light and in the winter lit his own wood fire in the BERNADOTTE, Jean Baptiste Jules, 1763- 1844. Marshal of France and King of Sweden. It may have been on the arrival of the regi- ment at Marseilles in September, 1789, that the incident occurred, which, to the end of her life, Queen Désirée of Sweden was fond of relating. She was the daughter of M. Francis Clary, a rich and prominent merchant of Irish descent, resident in Marseilles. Her chamberlain has related the story in her own words: “One day a soldier presented himself with a requisition billeting him in our house at Marseilles. My father, who had no wish to be disturbed by the noise soldiers usually make, politely sent him back with a letter to his colonel, requesting that an officer might be billeted on us instead of a soldier. The sol. dier who was sent back in this way was Ber- nadotte, who was afterwards to marry me and become a king."-D. PLUNKETT BARTON, "Bernadotte.” Désirée Clary was intended for earthly honors and at least they rested lightly on her head. Let us recapitulate. She is betrothed to Joseph, then to Napoleon, then to Douphot; she refuses Junot and would be glad to ac- cept Marmont; at last she married Berna- dotte. With Joseph she would have been an imperial princess, Queen of Naples and of Spain; with Napoleon Empress of France; with Douphot probably marechale and duch- ess; with Junot Duchess d’Abrantes; with Marmount marechale and Duchess of Ragusa. Bernadotte, the former sergeant of marines, places the crown of Sweden on the head of the former bourgeoise of Marseilles.-MARION QUEKETT, Temple Bar, February, 1899 [cit. ing Arsene Houssaye). In "L'Intermédiaire des Chencheurs et Curieux" reference is made to an article in “Histoire du Tatouage" in the “Dictionnaire Encyclopédique,” where it is stated that, dur- ing a voyage around the world, an English prince, when the conversation turned upon tattooing, told the anecdote as follows: He said that it was noticed that the King of Sweden always objected, for some mysterious reason, to exposing his arm. When a serious illness made bleeding necessary, he exacted a promise of secrecy from his physician, who gave and broke the promise, after seeing the Bernis, François Berthier, Marshal WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Phrygian cap and the words “Death to Kings" ! there issued from beneath the casks a big tattooed on the king's arm. black cat, which rushed, miauing, between At a levee an old German officer, General my legs, and which I took to be the devil. My hair stood on end and I fled hastily, be- von Gonheim, being aware that the marshal lieving that all hell was after me. This ad- had served in the ranks of the Royal La Ma- venture made me reflect. Remorse followed rine regiment, recalled the fact that in India reflection; I confessed first to my mother, who at the siege of Cuddahore he had nursed in his tent a French prisoner, a young sergeant of did not fail to frighten me with the enor- the Royal La Marine regiment, and expresse ! mity of my crime; she was too well educated, his disappointment at never having heard! however, not to know how to appreciate it. I was only seven years old, but they made me from him since. The marshal without hesita- confess to the grand vicar, and I was ab- tion assumed the character of the young ser- solved. Since then I have not had much taste geant, apologized for his forgetfulness and for sorcery. overwhelmed the old general with marks of gratitude and favor. The incident created a We were studying, under Pere Porée, favorable impression among the Germans, and the second book of Homer's "Iliad"; that sec- the story of Marshal Bernadotte having been ond book, printed separately, was the only nursed by General von Gonheim at Cudda copy of the poet we had. Père Porée, in mak- hore was repeated everywhere and passed into ing us compose Greek verses, gave us as a history. ... It has transpired, however, theme in Latin prose a passage taken from that when the marshal retired after the levee, the fourth book of the “Iliad.” I dreamed at his staff officers remarked that they had heard night of the Greek verses I had to make; I for the first time that he had served in India. thought I had done them and kept repeating Bernadotte appears to have admitted that it in my memory the verses I had just composed. was the first he himself had heard of it and I wrote down, on waking, the first four verses to have explained his gasconade by saying of my composition, having entirely forgotten that he wished to rescue his old regiment the others. My composition finished, I gave from the imputation of ingratitude and to it to Père Porée, who was much astonished discharge the obligation which his fellow ser to find that the four first verses were entire- geant of the Royal La Marine regiment owed ly from Homer. He thought at first that I to von Gonheim.--BARTON. had copied them, but he was fully convinced that I had no knowledge of the fourth book of When in 1840 the remains of the great the “Iliad.” Cardinal de Polignac, who had emperor were transferred to Paris, he mourn- no aversion to the marvelous, told me that fully exclaimed to his representative, "Tell the same thing had happened to him and in a them that I, who was once a marshal of still more surprising manner. Philosophers France, am now only King of Sweden.”-R. P. have not examined with sufficient seriousness DUNN-PATTISON, "Napoleon's Marshals." the functions of the soul during sleep.-CAB- BERNIS, François Joachim de Pierres, de, DINAL BERNIS, "Memoirs." 1715-1794. French statesman. The following anecdote I hold from M. Without being more of a rogue than other Firmin-Didot, who told me he had it from the boys, I passed three years under the rod. original and from tradition. Bernis, in the Anger, at last, got the better of me, and, after days of his great poverty and his dinners vainly meditating various projects of re- with Diderot at six sous a head, was em- venge, my head being full of “Comte de Ga- | ployed as proof-reader by the publishing and balis," a book that I believed to be full of printing house of Didot, great-grandfather of the mysteries of the cabala, I resolved to vow my informant. There he had his lodging and myself to the powers of hell, to become a breakfast with the family. One day, the head great magician, and transform my unworthy of the house, not seeing him, said, “Is not tutor into a stone or tree; and with this reso- Bernis coming to breakfast?" "No," said one lution I rose one morning at four o'clock and of the family; "he is busy just now; he is went into a solitary place at daybreak; there mending his breeches.”-SAINTE BEUVE, “Cau- I made my invocations and conjurations, but series du Lundi.” all to no purpose. Nothing appeared. Then, From Cardinal Fleury, however, our abbé believing that the powers of darkness might received a rebuff. Having, in order to humor appear to one more readily in obscurity, I his relative, the Princess de Rohan, who had went down into a cellar, not without some lately taken him by the hand, applied to fear. My trepidation became terror when, the minister for a convent, the latter sternly having begun my invocations in a loud voice, / replied: "Monsieur Abbé, your debaucheries 37 Bernis, François OF THE GREAT Berthier, Marshal render you unfit for the favors of the church. the money. The child insisted; the master As long as I remain in power you shall ob- objected. The young prince lost patience and, tain nothing." "Well, monseigneur,” replied throwing the twenty-five louis on the table, de Bernis, “I'll wait.” This repartee was an exclaimed, “Take them; they have cost me event; it was repeated and applauded every dear enough; it is for this that I have been where until it reached the ears of royalty it writing so well for the last fortnight.”—R. self.-Fraser's Magazine, August, 1850. NOEL WILLIAMS, “A Princess of Intrigue," The Cardinal de Bernis was the new citing Chateaubriand. prime minister. He had an easy talent for The Duc de Berry had got together at trifling poetry; it was his whole merit and the Elysée a very fine gallery of pictures his whole fortune. Madame de Pompadour containing some admirable examples of the was pleased with some of his incense offered modern French and English schools, and to to her and first sent him to Venice, then to this he and his wife were continually adding. the Hague, where he distinguished himself by The collection contained evidences of the own- an intriguing vivacity. The qualifications | ers' goodness of heart, as well as their artis- and his attachment to her seemed solid enough tic sense. Visitors were often surprised to to the mistress to fit the abbé-comte de Ber see side by side with the masterpieces of the nis for the government of France, where even great masters canvases which were obviously these superficial talents are not outshined, so the work of 'prentice hands and in some of exhausted in that country was the vein of which it was difficult to perceive the smallest genius. Bernis was made a cardinal and promise. Questioned one day about this, the amassed benefits to the amount of £14,000 a duchess replied with a smile: "Poor men! To year, but was scarce settled in that exalted whom do you suppose they would sell their station before he received a lettre de cachet pictures, if I did not buy them?”—WILLIAMS. as he was going to bed, ordering him to re- It is due to the memory of the Duc de tire to his bishopric by ten the next morning. Berry to relate this anecdote: After a violent The cause of this rapid fall was imputed to his own folly. He, who had scrupled to re- discussion, M. de la Ferronays, having been offended, left 'the house in which the prince ceive no benefits from the mistress, nay, lived. In the evening the Duc de Berry, as- whose flatteries had obtained the greatest and whose conscience had stooped to owe to her tonished at not seeing him, sent out to ascer- tain whither he had gone, and inquired the interest the first dignity in the church, grew cause of his sudden departure. "Monsei- at once conscientiously ungrateful and arro- gneur, you insulted me before your servants gantly absurd, refusing to wait on her in her and I should not know how to endure such apartment and to communicate in the dignity treatment." "Name those who were present." of the purple with a woman of so unsancti- They were sent for and the prince said to monious a character. The world laughed at them: "I failed yesterday in the respect that his impertinent pretenses and she punished I owe to M. de Ferronays; I make my ex- them.--HORACE WALPOLE, "Memoirs of George cuses and ask him to pardon me.” Then, turning to my father-in-law: "Are you satis- BERRY, Charles Ferdinand, Duke of, 1778 fied ?” one can imagine the reply.-WIL- 1820. French peer. LIAMS, citing “Memoirs of Mme. de la Ferro- A Monsieur Rochon, writing-master to the nays." young princes, had experienced a considerable loss, caused by fire. The Duc de Berry begged BERTHIER, Louis Alexander, 1753-1815. his governor, the Duc de Serent, to give him French marshal, Prince of Neufchâtel. twenty-five louis for poor Rochon. The duke He was one of those selected by Bonaparte consented but on condition that the prince to accompany him to Egypt. Berthier could gave satisfaction to his master for a fort not bear to leave his “beloved general's” side; night, without saying anything to him about but, though forty-three years of age, he had the twenty-five louis. And so Monseigneur conceived a violent passion for one Madame set to work and traced big letters as little Visconti, that it quite upset his weak intel- awry as he could. Rochon was astonished at lect and drove him into paroxysms of grief this sudden change and did not cease to when he thought also of leaving the object of praise his pupil. The fortnight passed; the his passion. He hastened to Toulon and told Duc de Berry received the twenty-five louis Bonaparte he was sick and could not go and and carried them in triumph to Rochon. The requested to be left behind. But his prayers latter, not knowing whether the governor ap and tears fell on a heart which had no sym- proved of this generosity, declined to accept | pathy for such nonsense and he was forced to II." Berthier, Marshal Biron, Ernest J. 38 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES set sail. The long, tedious voyage the sepa With the exception of Prince Bismarck, ration of so many thousand miles-the new Count Beust was probably the possessor of and glorious field to honor and fame which more foreign decorations than any other di- Egypt spread out before him-could not drive plomatist. ...I was with him one day in the image of his dear Visconti from his Vienna when he asked me to unlock a large mind. He had a tent placed beside his own drawer in which the cases containing the fitted up in the most elegant style, in which stars and crosses were tossed about in hope- he suspended the portrait of his lady. Here less confusion. "The minister of - has “the Chief of the Staff of the Army of | asked for an audience to-day," he said, "and Egypt” would retire alone and, prostrating I wish you would kindly get me out the himself before it, indulge in the most passion grand cross of the order of the country he ate expressions of love and grief, and went so represents, as I learn from his letter that his far at times as to burn incense before it, as visit is an official one." After looking in vain if it were a goddess and he an ignorant de. for the order he mentioned I told him it was votee. At Alexandria his grief became so in not there. He was much annoyed at this and tense that he besought Bonaparte to allow immediately despatched his secretary to the him to return. Finding it impossible to drive jeweler Roth, whose well-known shop on the this absurd passion from the head of his Kohlmarket is the counterpart of that of major-general, he at length granted his re- Gretly in the Palais Royal, with instructions quest. Poor Berthier bade his commander a | to buy the decoration in question and bring solemn farewell and departed. In a few it back at once. This was done and the count, hours, however, he returned, his eyes swim- having put it on, waited for the foreign min. ming in tears, saying, after all, he could not ister. In due course the latter appeared, car. leave his "beloved general.” He accompanied rying in his hand a piece of parchment and a Bonaparte on his return to France and with case. Beust, being extremely short-sighted, Lannes and Murat was his chief reliance to took no notice of this, but engaged him in overturn the Directory. . . . On one occasion conversation and endeavored to elicit from he presented him with a magnificent diamond him the object of his visit. The minister, worth nearly twenty thousand dollars, saying, Baron , seemed greatly embarrassed and “Take this, we frequently play high; lay it Beust, thinking perhaps he had some impor- up against a time of need." In a few hours it was sparkling on the head of his lady love. tant diplomatic secret which he might find ... At the earnest request of Napoleon he difficulty in communicating before me, told finally married a princess of Bavaria. But him that he could speak without reserve. scarcely was the marriage consummated, Whereupon the discomfited diplomatist, whose when, as if on purpose to complete his des eyes had been constantly riveted on the cross pair, the husband of Madame Visconti died. | with which Count Beust's coat was adorned, J. T. HEADLEY, "Napoleon and his Marshals." stammered out that he had been commanded by his royal master to confer on Count Beust BEUGNOT, Jacques Claude, 1761-1835. the grand cross of ; that he held in his French peer. hand the insignia and the diploma, but that At a committee meeting they spoke of put. as his excellency was, as he observed, already ting a crucifix in the hall of the electoral possessor of the order, his mission, so far as section. “I ask something more," said he, the investiture was concerned, was at an end. “that these words be inscribed beneath, ‘My | Beust's face at the denouement was a study. God, forgive them, for they know not what I made vain attempts to conceal my mirtha they do',"'-- ELIZABETA DE NOLDE, "Madame the plenipotentiary looked grave and sad. I de Staël and Benjamin Constant.” was anxious to see how the count would get BEUST, Frederick Ferdinand, Count von, | out of the dilemma, but he was quite equal 1809-1886. Chancellor of Austria. to the trying occasion. “Your excellency,” he Like all great men he had his petty vani. said, “will readily excuse my error. So many great powers have honored me with their dec- ties, one of the most prominent of which was that he was proud of his small feet. On one orations that I could not believe that I did occasion he made a bet with one of the lead. not possess one from his majesty, your sover- ing ladies of the Court that he could wear her eign." The answer was adroit, for although shoe. He won the bet, whereupon the lady, the minister represented a kingdom, he could with great wit and presence of mind, observed, in no way be considered the emissary of a "It is singular that so great a minister should first class power.—HENRY DE WORMS, "Intro- live on so small a footing.” duction to the Memoirs of Count Beust.” nd 39 Berthier, Marshall OF THE GREAT Biren, Ernest J. On the day of my birth something ex. self; will you not avail yourself of the op. traordinary happened to me I was drunk. It portunity?" came about in this way. I always had the Soon after my appointment I received bad habit of keeping people waiting for me. letters from time to time, addressed to me I did so even on that day, and when at last I in a lady's handwriting, and containing max- made my appearance my father was beside ims, proverbs and other useful advice in the himself with joy, and gave my nurse a dozen Austrian dialect. I remember one of them, bottles of old Rhenish wine of the year 1683. which I often quoted: “Learn every language She was a Wendish woman, unable to under- spoken in the Austrian empire, so that you stand a syllable of German, and thinking that may be able to tell every man in his mother the wine was for a bath, she poured it into a tongue that he is an ass.”_COUNT BEUST, basin and bathed me in it. ... I have heard “Memoirs.” [Beust had just been appointed it asserted that I owe my good temper to that prime minister of Austria after having been immersion in old Rhenish wine. But it is prime minister of Saxony.] certain that the physical effect was extremely injurious. Not only did a sleep of twenty- BIREN, Ernest Jean, 1687-1772. Prime Min- four hours give rise to grave fearg for my ister under Anne of Russia. life, but I remained in such a state of morbid Biren's method of governing his principal- excitement as to refuse all solid food for the ity was every whit as peculiar as the mode by first few years. This irritability, which I which he acquired it. His post of Grand only mastered by degrees, gave me the repu- Chamberlain at the Russian court being the tation, as I afterwards heard, of being an source of all his power and influence, he durst unbearable child. not quit it for widistant, and so it came about that his Courlanders never beheld their There was a state dinner at Schoen- duke from one year's end to another. But if brunn, and I, although chancellor of the they never saw his face, they felt his heavy empire, was placed at the end of the hand. Biren's spies kept him fully informed table as a junior councillor, so that those of of all that was going on in the duchy, and it my official subordinates who were present, was soon remarked that very free-spoken gen- Prokesch included, were seated above me. tlemen, sooner or later, mysteriously disap- The latter audibly expressed his disapproval peared. Bands of masked men would pounce of this arrangement. “This is absurd,” he upon the offender when he felt most secure, said; “such things occur only in the West. hustle him into a closed carriage and he In Oriental countries they would be impos would not be seen again for years. Many of sible." After dinner I went to the court such abductions took place during the short chamberlain, Prince Hohenlohe, with whom reign of Duke Ernest John, but perhaps the I was intimate, and said, “I do not make any | most remarkable case was that of Herr von pretensions or claims, but I must beg that Sacken. This gentleman, while standing one on similar occasions I may not be invited." day at the door of his country house, was On the following day I received a letter in seized from behind by two unknown persons, the emperor's handwriting conferring the gagged and thrown into one of these closed same rank upon me as was conferred on old carriages. For two whole years he was con- Prince Metternich, namely, the first place veyed from place to place, his conductors after the court chamberlain, so that I took never once showing him their faces unmasked. precedence even of the Austrian princes. The One night the horses were taken out of their precedence reserved for Prince Hohenlohe traces and he was left in the carriage, where caused some embarrassment to the diplomatic he remained until break of day, thinking corps, as it is a universal principle that the that he would then re, "me his journey as minister of foreign affairs always takes first usual. But when morning came and he still place. Of course it was arranged that we found himself alone, he ventured to put his should not be invited at the same time, and head out of the window and found himself on occasions of great ceremony, such as the at the door of his own house whence he had banquet given by Lord Bloomfield on the been kidnapped two years before. Von Sacken queen's birthday, I voluntarily gave up my complained to the duke, who affected the ut- place to Prince Hohenlohe. It was a good most astonishment and assured the aggrieved idea of one of the American ambassadors to gentleman that if he could only recognize his write to me one day, of course with the best mysterious abductors and bring them to jus- intentions: “Prince Hohenlohe was to have tice, they should be severely punished.-R. dined with me to-day. lle has excused him: NISBET BAIN, “Pupils of Peter the Great." Bismarck WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES BISMARCK, OTTO EDWARD LEOPOLD VON BISMARCK- SCHOENHAUSEN, PRINCE, 1815-1898 Chancellor of Germany SOURCES ABEKEN, MRS. HENRY, "Bismarck's Pen,” | LAUR, FRANCIS, “The Heart of Gambetta." "Life of Henry Abeken.” LI HUNG CHANG, "Memoirs." ANDREA-ROMAN, A., The New Century Re- LIMAN, DR. PAUL, “Bismarck in History, view. Caricature and Anecdote.” Athenæum (London), The. LOWE, CHARLES, “Bismarck's Table Talk." BISMARCK, “Letters"; "Thoughts and Recol MALORTRE, BARON DE, Cornhill Magazine. lections." MAXWELL, HERBERT, "Life and Letters of Blackwood's Magazine. the Fourth Earl of Clarendon." BLENNERHASSETT, ROWLAND, The Nine MOTLEY, JOHN, Correspondence. teenth Century. New Review. Blowitz, HENRY S. DE, "Memoirs”; Har. PEAT, ANTHONY B. NORTH, “Gossip from per's Magazine. Paris.” BRAUER, A. VON, “Two Months' Service in POSCHINGER, HENRY VON, “Bismarck's Table Friedrichsruh.” Talk”; “Thus Spoke Bismarck"; Die Deutsche BUSCH, DR. MORitz, “Our Chancellor of Revue. State"; "Count Bismarck and His People Quarterly Reviei. During the War with France"; "Bismarck RICHMOND, W. B., The North American Re- Some Secret Pages of His History"; The view. North American Review. SCIILESINGER, DR. MAX, The Fortnightly Chambers's Journal. Review. COHEN, DR. EDWARD, “Bismarck's Sayings.” SCHURZ, CARL, McClure's Magazine. DAWSON, H. W., The Fortnightly Review SCHWARTZ, THEODOR, Munsey's Magazine. DICEY, EDWARD, The Nineteenth Century. SCHWENINGER, Dr. E., “Leaves Out of My EICHSTEDT-PETERSWALDT, COUNTESS Chris- | Recollections.' TA VON, “Sayings of Bismarck.” SHERIDAN, GENERAL PHILIP II., Scribner's Every Saturday. Magazine. Fellow Student, A, “Bismarck Intime" SMALLEY, GEORGE W., The Fortnightly Re- (based on newspaper stories of the day). view. FISHER, HENRY W., Munsey's Magazine. STAERKE, G. von, Lippincott's Magazine. Fortnightly Review. Temple Bar. GHEUSI, B. P., “Gambetta.” THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF, REINHILD VON, “Recol- GoSCHEN, VISCOUNT, Blackwood's Magazine. | lections Concerning Bismarck." GOWER, LORD, “Records and Reminiscences.” THIERS, ADOLPHE, “Memoirs." HESEKIEL, GEORGE LOUIS, "The Book of VIZETELLY, E. A., “Court Life in the Sec- Count Bismarck." ond Empire;” “Republican France." HOCHE, JULES, “Bismarck at Home.” WALPOLE, SPENCER, “Studies in Biog. HOCKER, N., "Emperor William and Count raphy." Bismarck.” WHITE, ANDREW D., "Seven Great States. HUEFER, FRANCIS, The Gentleman's Maga- men." zine, WHITMAN, SIDNEY, "Personal Reminiscen- KLACZKO, JULIAN, "The Two Chancellors." | ces of Bismarck”; Harper's Magazine; Pall KRAUEL, R., “Recollections of Count Bis. | Mall Magazine. marck.” Zur Guten Stunde. | noticed the mischievous act, he said to his BEFORE THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR son, “It was you who did that.” “Yes," said Youth and Exuberance the boy; "but I should not have thought he would be so sensitive. As soon as I fired he In the glade of the park at Schoenhausen laid his right hand on the spot at which I is a moss-covered statue of Hercules. On one aimed, and he is still in that position.” The occasion little Otto, when returning empty | fact is that Hercules is represented in the handed from shooting, passed at the rear of park with his hand on his back.—HOCHE. the mythological figure. The idea that it would be great fun to aim a loaded gun at A satiric paper called Der Floh (The Hercules's back no sooner crossed his mind Flea), published in Hanover, commented sar- than the deed was done. When Otto's father castically on the brutality of the Goettingen OF THE GREAT Bismarck students' customs, making a reference which he made shortly afterwards to finish his Bismarck interpreted as personal. Ile went studies in Berlin. He was invited by the forthwith to Hanover, marched into the of students of Jena (who had heard of his ex- fice of Der Floh and, producing a copy of the ploits, and were anxious to make his acquain- offending article, endeavored to compel the tance) to pay them a visit. Very much grati. editor literally to swallow his words. A fied by this attention, he went to Jena, accom- scrimmage ensued, which comes to the ears panied by his friend Trotha. The few days of the university authorities, and Bismarck they spent there were entirely occupied with was summoned to appear before the rector. | feasting and reveling. One fine morning, Instead of a submissive acceptance of the however, when Bismarck was still in bed, he official reprimand, the daring undergraduate received a visit from the university beadle, launched forth into a fiery speech against the who brought a notice from the Academic assailants of dueling and went on to de- Council respectfully requesting him to leave nounce reformers and innovators in general, town immediately, on the ground of the per- styling them “Frenchmen in disguise," and nicious influence he was exerting over the wishing he had the sword of Joshua to ex youthful members of the University of Jena. terminate them. “Well, my young friend," Bismarck was the guest of the Thuringian said the unwarlike rector, "you are preparing Society, the members of which decided to a great deal of trouble for yourself. Your manifest their indignation against such a dis- opinions are those of a bygone age.” “Good missal, by arranging for their visitors a tri- opinions," returned Bismarck, "reflower like umphal departure. For this purpose a lan- trees after winter."-SCHWARTZ in Munsey's dau, drawn by six horses, was engaged, and Magazine, July, 1892. the delegates of the society, taking their seats During his second year at the Goettingen with the two expelled students in their midst, conducted them in this way as far as the gate University Bismarck was summoned to ap- of the town, being joined en route by a crowd pear before the Academic Tribunal, accused of fellow collegians who shouted lustily, of having compromised himself in the matter "Wherefore we rejoice."--HOCHE. of a duel with pistols; he gave the following evidence: “I entered quite by accident He gave a practical lesson in the duties into the Gurkenburg brewery and I of punctuality to a dilatory bootmaker in found there some fellow students who the Kronenstrasse. Crispin had already dis- were in a bit of a quandary. A duel appointed him several times, when, early one with pistols had been arranged and the morning, a messenger appeared at the shop, person chosen for umpire had not arrived. rang the bell and inquired, "Are Herr von My comrades urged me to take his place and Bismarck's boots ready?” The bootmaker re- I consented. I did all I could to induce the plied in the negative and the messenger de- young men to make it up, but all in vain; so parted. Ten minutes later another appeared I insisted on the conditions that the two ad with the same inquiry, and so they went on versaries should fire at ten paces and not all day long, ringing and asking, until at over a handkerchief as had at first been night-fall the boots, finished and brilliantly agreed upon. My proposal having been ac- polished, were conveyed to Bismarck's lodg. cepted, I measured the distance, counting ings.—BUSCH. twelve paces. And when you consider the Mr. Droysen told me that once during the length of my legs, you will see, gentlemen, revolutionary days of 1848 Bismarck went that my intention was to render the duel less into an inn to get a glass of beer. There was dangerous. But this was not all: I stipulated a man in the room talking to a very excited that only just enough powder should be put audience and speaking most disrespectfully into the pistols to force out the bullets. I of the queen of Prussia. Bismarck went up think then I have some reason to believe that to him and instantly called on him to apolo- all the merits of the harmless issue of this gize. The man demurred, but he soon thought duel belong to me.” According to University better of it and expressed his regret before archives, however, this pleading does not seem the whole revolutionary crowd.—BLENNER- to have met with all the success it deserved, HASSETT in The Nineteenth century, April, for it is therein written that the student Bis- 1890. marck was condemned to three days' confine- ment in the black hole.—A FELLOW STUDENT. Towards evening Bismarck was wont to resort to Schwartz's beer house, at the corner Otto von Bismarck's closing days at of Friederica and Leipziger streets, in Berlin Goettingen were marked by an adventure, -a house which was the chief rendezvous of which no doubt accounted for the resolution the Conservative party. At that establish- Bismarck 42 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ment “the little dog and all” was Conserva- tive, and never failed to bark at any Demo- cratic intruder. One evening, however, either Spitz was off duty, or Bismarck had strayed into a less Conservative beer house. He had no sooner taken his seat when some one at a neighboring table permitted himself to say something very disparaging about some mem- ber of the royal household. Bismarck there. upon reared himself to his full height and thundered at the offender, “Out of the room with you! If you are not out before I have emptied this glass, I will break it on your pate." An angry tumult arose over this apostrophe, such as was wont to arise over Bismarck's ebullitions in the Second Cham- ber. He went on, however, quietly drinking his beer and, when he had finished it, was as good as his word in shying the beer glass at the offender's head. Deep silence ensued and Bismarck called to the waiter as if nothing had happened, “Waiter, what's to pay for the broken glass?” The coup de verre had suc- ceeded and the voice in the room was unani- mous in the verdict of "served him right.”- HESEKIEL Bismarck's own courage was that of a mastiff and in early life it often got him into scrapes. ... Whilst he was doing his own year Voluntariat in the Prussian Infantry, he paid a visit to Schleswig, which was then under Danish rule. One day, wearing his uni- form, he was seated in a brauerei when he heard two gentlemen holding a political con- versation and expressing extremely liberal sentiments. With amazing impudence he walked up to their table and requested that "if they must talk nonsense they would use an undertone.” The two Schleswiger told the junker to mind his own business, whereupon Bismarck caught up a beer jug and dashed its contents into their faces. This affair caused very serious trouble. Bismarck was taken into custody and ordered out of the country. On joining his regiment he was placed under arrest again and there was an interchange of diplomatic notes about him. He only escaped severe punishment through powerful intercession being employed at Court in his behalf.-Temple Bar, January, 1885. The conversation turned to pistol prac- tise and Bismarck said that as a young man he had attained great certainty of aim due to his sharp eyes and steady hand. One eve- ning he happened into a restaurant and there met a man who was greatly annoyed at the wick of the only candle which he kept trim- ming with the candle shears. Tempted by these circumstances to show his skill with the pistol, Bismarck, using a pistol he always carried with him, trimmed the candle with- out putting the light out. The gentleman referred to said: “You seem to be a pretty good shot; let us shoot a match,” whereupon both began to open fire at a window in a door leading into another room, the idea being to ornament the window with geometrical fig- ures. Shortly after they had begun there was a noise in an adjoining room and to their great surprise a man dressed in a nightgown came tumbling out, yelling in a mixture of German and Dutch: "Help! Some one is shooting me! Thieves! Robbers! Some one wants to murder me!” The count was very amusing in his imitation of the plaintive cries of the alarmed Hollander and there was a marked change in his facial expression as he recalled this escapade of his youth, so much so that I saw pictured before me the “mad Bismarck” who was once wont to frighten his visitors with promiscuous dis- charge of fire arms.-KRAUEL. A friend and myself intended to go to Naugard one evening, but, as it was rather late, we concluded to spend the night at Kniephof. Bismarck welcomed us very cor- dially and expressed regret that he could not entertain us the next morning as he was com- pelled to start for Naugard at seven o'clock. That suited our plan exactly. He urged me not to get up so early and finally said: “Well, if you will not have it any other way, I shall awake you at half past six.” It was very late when he accompanied us to our bedroom. Be- fore going to sleep my friend said, "I drank more this evening than is my custom and I would rather sleep in the morning than get up.” “That will not do," I replied, "after we have made arrangements to be called at half past six.” “We shall see,” he replied. After he had closed the door he barricaded it with a large wardrobe. At half past six, Bismarck called out, “Are you ready?” No answer. He tried to open the door and then kicked it in, but could make no further prog. ress on account of the wardrobe. The next we heard was a shout from the yard, “Are you ready?” Then followed two shots from a pistol; the glass in the window was shat. tered and plaster fell from the ceiling on the bed of my friend. He at once surrendered and as a token thereof fastened a handkerchief on a cane and stuck it out of the window. Bismarck received us at the breakfast table in the most cordial manner, never even re- ferring to his victory. Shortly afterwards I with several others joined him in a hunt at 43 Bismarck OF THE GREAT Kniephof. On our return we spent consider- able time at our toilet, when suddenly we heard five pistol shots to the great dam- age of the glass in our windows. Bismarck was trying to annoy us and amuse himself. It did not seem to occur to any one that a bullet might strike one of us, for we all knew how sure Bismarck was with firearms, but the preparations for dinner were materially ac- celerated.-LIMAN, quoting von Marwitz, a neighbor of Bismarck. Johanna and, after an explicit declaration of his feelings, he knocked at the door on the right and stepped hand in hand with her into her father's study. The latter's conster- nation may be imagined. But a short out- spoken conversation showed that the “Mad Yunker” had become a zealous, earnest Chris- tian. Herr and Frau von Puttkamer never repented having given him their only daugh- ter.-ANDREA-ROMAN in The New Century Review, June, 1899. Bismarck one day paid the presiding Practical Joking deputy a visit. Count Thun received him with a sort of brusk familiarity, went on coolly Bismarck played many practical jokes smoking his cigar, and did not even ask Bis- some forty years ago when he had turned his marck to take a chair. The latter simply back on state service and was farming at took out his cigar case, pulled out a cigar Kniephof. His guests now and then under- and said in an easy tone, "May I beg a light, went strange and startling surprises. One your excellency?” Excellency, astonished to day, whilst he was chatting with his fair the greatest degree, supplied the desired cousins, the door of the drawing room sud- light. Bismarck got a good blaze up and then denly opened and four young foxes rushed in, took the unoffered seat in the coolest way in jumping upon the sofas and chairs and tear- the world and led the way to a conversation. ing their coverings to tatters. Male visitors - HESEKIEL had need of steady nerves, for it not un- frequently happened that when they had fall- His superior pretended once that he had en asleep, soothed with a comfortable night- forgotten the presence of Bismarck and be cap lined with porter and champagne, they gan nonchalantly to drum on a window pane. were suddenly aroused from their slumbers Bismarck at once stepped to the window and by pistol shots and the bullets, striking the began to drum the March to Dessau. The ceilings above their heads, brought down same superior permitted Bismarck to wait an showers of plaster upon them.-BUSCH. hour in the antechamber and then received to An incident connected with the deputy's his question "What do you wish ?" the answer, “I intended to ask for a furlough; now I shall stay at Frankfort showed that Bismarck still ask for my discharge."--HOCKEB. retained some of the characteristics which marked his student days. He had taken up The landowner Doerfschlag, a neighbor his residence in a stylish house, but one to- of Reinfeld, an old, pious man with whom tally unprovided with bells. Bismarck men- Herr von Puttkamer was in constant com tioned this disadvantage to the landlord, ask- munication, afterwards related that the lat ing to have a bell fixed at least in his bed- ter came to him one morning, very excited, room. But the proprietor determined to ig- with the question, "Do you know the mad nore the request, and Bismarck received a Bismarck ?" On Doerfschlag's assurance that reply to the effect that if he considered a bell he had never heard of him, Herr von Putt necessary, it must be supplied at the expense kamer continued: “Fancy, this man, who is of the tenant. Bismarck, however, main- always called by every one ‘Mad Yunker,' | tained his idea firmly and at the dawn of the asks me for my Johanna's hand! It was following morning the whole house was just like receiving a slap in the face. Ilow startled by a detonation. It appeared that a can he imagine that we will give her to him? shot had been fired in the deputy's bedroom I am quite upset. But I have written him a and, when the landlord hastened to the letter that will not hurry him to return; he place to ascertain what had happened, Bis- will not put it up on the looking-glass." Cer marck replied with perfect equanimity: tainly Bismarck did not put it on the looking “There is no cause for alarm; I am merely glass, but into his pocket and at once ordered firing off a bulletless pistol in order to sum- his groom to bring around his horse, swung mon my servant. As I am without a bell, himself into the saddle and rode the sixty you will have to accustom yourself to this, miles to Reinfeld at one stretch, with only for I shall have to make use of my gun very few halts for baiting purposes. Having ar- | often." Before that day ended the landlord rived there, he entered the house, where, by a had ordered a bell for Bismarck's bedroom.- happy chance, he was met by Mademoiselle | HOCHE. Bismarck WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The account of “Dicke” (portly) Daum- | futile struggles or to watch you slowly stifle er's intense fear of death, or anything con- | in that disgusting filth. I'll tell you what, my nected therewith, especially amused the sons boy; I'll spare you a protracted death agony of the new Prussianized district of Wiesba through suffocation by lodging a charge of den. Bismarck continued: One fine morn shot in your head. Thus shall you die with ing I was out hunting with Dicke Daumer in promptitude and dignity.” “Are you beside the neighborhood of Frankfort. After a long yourself?" shouted the other, making frantic and tiring climb among the mountains we efforts to extricate himself; “I want neither sat down to rest on the edge of a forest, to be suffocated nor to be shot; so help me when, to my horror, I found that I had out, in the name of the three devils.” Rais- brought no luncheon with me. Dicke ing his gun to his shoulder and taking care- Daumer, however, drew forth a mighty | ful aim, Bismarck replied in mournful ac- sausage and, in the most noble and cents: "Keep still for a second; it will soon magnanimous manner, offered me half of it. be over. I will tell your poor wife all about Now, gentlemen, I confess to having a very your last moments.” Stimulated to almost good appetite, which the morning excursion superhuman exertions by the danger threat- in the mountain air had by no means les. ening him so imminently, the unlucky sports- sened. The whole sausage would barely have man contrived somehow to wrench himself sufficed to allay my hunger. Our meal began; out of the mud and crawled on all fours to I saw the end of my piece of sausage ap terra firma. As soon as he felt himself safe proaching; I was getting desperate. Then, he burst out into a torrent of vehement re- suddenly turning to Dicke Daumer, I asked | proaches. Bismarck, smiling, listened to him in the most innocent manner possible: "Can for a while; then, simply remarking, “You you tell me, Herr Daumer, what that white see I was right; every one for himself," thing down there among the plum trees is?" turned his back upon his infuriated com- "Good gracious, your excellency, you quite panion and strolled off leisurely to look for take away one's appetite,” said Daumer, who more snipe.—Busch. so dreaded his latter end. “Why, that is the His Vein of Humor churchyard." "Is it really now? Why, Herr Daumer, it looks so pretty! Let us go down Bismarck, when acting as clerk for the and select some nice, secluded, shady nook. city counsel, was annoyed by the insolent How calm and peaceful it must be to rest in conduct of a citizen who had come to the office 80 sweet a spot!” “Oh, your excellency, on business. Finally he became exasperated there-there- " and he put down the sau and cried out: “If you do not alter your con- sage; "I cannot touch another mouthful.” duct I'll throw you out.” The city counsel And old Daumer remained firm in this. So at once interfered with the declaration, you see, gentlemen, I had a good luncheon “When it comes to throwing any one out of after all.--Chambers's Journal, 1886. my office, that is my affair.” Bismarck I relate the following anecdote, although promptly turned to the object of his wrath I doubt its authenticity, as an illustration of with, "If you do not alter your conduct I'll the "Yunker Otto's" fancies and freaks. One have you thrown out by the city counsel.”— day, so runs the story, he went out snipe- POSCHINGER. shooting with a friend. They had gone into By way of indicating this gentleman's a verdant morass, into which Bismarck's | [Judge Prætorius, to whom Bismarck was as- companion, a short, stout, ponderous gentle sistant] character, it was told to us young man, suddenly sank up to his armpits. After people that when, in the course of a sitting, struggling for some time to extricate himself he was roused from a light slumber to give and reach firm ground, he cried for help; and, his vote, he used to say, “I vote with my seeing his friend picking his way slowly to colleague Templehof," whereupon it was wards him, looking about all the while to see sometimes necessary to point out to him that if a stray snipe would get up, he fervently im. Templehof was not present.—BISMARCK. plored him to let the confounded snipe alone While I was representing the president and drag him out of the vile bog-hole, the then on leave, I received an order from the muck of which was fast rising to his mouth government to compel the patron of Kuelz, and nose. "My beloved friend,” answered that was myself, to undertake certain bur- Bismarck with the utmost calm, "you will dens. I put the order aside, intending to give certainly never be able to scramble out of it to the president on his return, was repeat- that hole, and it is quite impossible to save edly annoyed about it and finally fined a you. It pains me exceedingly to see your thaler, to be remitted by post. I now drew 45 Bismarck OF THE GREAT up a statement, in which I figured as having appeared, first of all as representative of the Landrath, and secondly as patron of Kuelz. The party cited made the prescribed repre- sentations to himself in his capacity as No. 1 and then proceeded in his capacity as No. 2 to set forth the ground on which he had to de- cline the application; after which the state- ment was subscribed by him and approved in his double capacity. The governinent under- stood a joke and ordered the fine to be re. mitted.-BISMARCK. Bismarck was suffering with hunger and thirst and stopped at a roadside tavern in a little village through which he passed. The landlord supplied him with food to satisfy his hunger, but Bismarck found the wine hardly fit to drink and the beer abominable. There happened to be stopping at the same place a traveler in the wine trade. Bis. marck asked to sample his goods and in a very short time had emptied all the bottles of samples; he then walked away, thanking the man for his kindness. But before leav- ing he gave him a large order for wines to be forwarded to him at his home.--A FELLOW STUDENT. Often, as a young man, when drunken- ness, shouting and all kinds of riotous ways were going on, which in those days were thought part of a gentleman's inheritance, and after drinking six bottles of wine while every kind of disturbance was going on, I was able to abstract my mind so as to find the cube roots of two or several given numbers.-RICH- MOND, in The North American Review, Sep- tember, 1914, quoting Bismarck. The first positive information to be had of them shows them as members of the town council and of the very unaristocratic cor- poration of Schwand-Schneider, or merchant tailors. This joke at one time greatly amused and irritated the Chancellor. He did not fail to reply that his grace the Duke of Well- ington must also have been a breeches-maker, since he belonged to the Tailors' Guild of London.-STAERKE in Lippincott's Magazine, January, 1885. When the motto of the Hanover Club of Göttingen, to which as a student he had be- longed Vestigia nulla retrorsum, was quoted to him as applicable to his own life, Bismarck reflected: “Yes; no steps backwards, but a good many zig-zag."-LOWE. Bismarck told us of an incident in a bear hunt in which a woman, the wife of the consul from Belgium, took part. She talked so much and so noisily that she awakened the honey-eater from his slumber and induced him to seek safety in the distance. Bismarck was so disgusted with this spoilsport, that he refused to address even a word to her when some days or weeks later she was his fellow passenger for three days on a steamer. THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF. IIe told of an incident of his holidays. He had landed on British soil and was wend- ing his way inland, whistling a tune, when some one tapped him on the shoulder, telling him that he ought to remember the day, Sunday, and cease making noises. But he did not tell us at that time that he immediately retraced his steps to the vessel at the wharf. -THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF. P- determined not to be outdone, launched forth into raptures about Prussia- not, however, including the Berliners. “Well, you are quite right,” said Bismarck. "I dare say you have heard the story of the Alpine host, who, after pointing out the glories of his native land, asked a Berlin youth if they had any such mountains in Berlin. 'No,' he re- plied, 'we have not got such mountains, but, if we had, they would be much finer than these.'"--Chambers's Journal, 1886. Bismarck did not believe that the stand- ing of a citizen should be affected by his faith. “Then you believe in saying, 'Do your duty as a citizen; I do not inquire as to your faith'?” said President Ludwig von Gerlach. “By all means," replied Bismarck. “Then," pursued Gerlach, "you certainly favor the emancipation of the Jews.” “Not at all," said Bismarck, ending the interview; “I do not inquire as to the faith of a Jew; I can see that.”-THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF. There is a story told characteristic of Bismarck's shrewd humor, on the occasion of the first meeting of the newly constituted German diet. The British ambassador at Ber- lin having expressed some surprise to him that there should be so many Particularists in that assembly, Count Bismarck's answer was, "Oh, you don't know the Germans; if every German had money enough, every German would keep a Particular king all to himself.” -Quarterly Review, January, 1871. One of the representatives in Berlin gave dances where we danced until three o'clock, but where there was nothing to eat. I re- member that I and a few friends attended one of these dances and at a late hour we ate some sandwiches which we had concealed in our pockets. The host took the hint and at the next dance refreshments were served, Bismarck 46 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES but I and my friends were never again in | our party. I will make you a proposition. If vited.-LIMAN. we gain the upper hand we will take care of you; if, vice versa, you do the same with us." The marvelous escape of the Minister. Bismarck declined the proposition in the fol- President naturally formed the topic of ex- lowing manner: "If your party should prove cited conversation at the table, and after din. victorious, d'Ester, life will not be worth liv. ner in the drawing room the Countess ex- ing; if we gain the upper hand, there will be pressed her opinion of the would-be assassin some hanging, but with the utmost polite- by energetically avowing that “if she were ness, even to the last step on the gallows."- in heaven, and saw the villain standing on LIMAN. the top of the ladder leading down to hell, she would have no hesitation in giving him a His wife showed me the following sen- push.” “Hush, my dear,” whispered her tence in a letter she had received from him: husband, tapping her gently on the shoulder "The Austrians here open all our letters and from behind, “you would not be in heaven this can be proven to you by the ass who has yourself with such thoughts as these.”—Pos- read this one.”—THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF. CHINGER. On one occasion he had to meet Hein- One Liberal nobleman-Count Schwerin, rich von Gagern at the house of Manteuffel on some business of a political character. who acted as president of the Chamber-- Manteuffel left them alone to discuss the asked Bismarck what he had against him. subject they came about. Gagern instantly “That you were not shot at the battle of drew himself up and began to talk in very Prague” (like the great Frederick's general loud voice, as if he were making a speech. of the same name), was the curt reply.-Pos- Bismarck waited until he had finished and CHINGER. then offered some cold and curt remark. Ga- During the historical summer night gern started off again and made a second ora- (1866) when General Manteuffel was about tion. Then a third; at last he went away. to cross the Elbe and enter the Guelphic Manteuffel came back and asked if every- kingdom, Bismarck telegraphed to him: thing had gone well. “We settled nothing," "Treat them as fellow countrymen, homicid was Bismarck's reply. “That is a stupid fel- ically, if necessary."--BUSCH. low; he mistook me for a popular assembly.” -BLENNERHASSETT in Nineteenth century, One day, on the very eve of the war of April, 1890. 1866, Count Karolyi, ambassador of Austria, and acting in the name of his government, He was present at a public ball, where summoned Bismarck to declare categorically a member of the Corps Legislatif, M. Jouvois whether he expected to break the treaty of de Clancy, was pointed out to him as a no- peace, the treaty of Gastein. "No," was the torious fire-eater. This gentleman had been reply, "but if I had would I answer you dif- a Republican, but had turned his coat after ferently?"-KLACZKO. the coup d'état. He was a big man, with dandified airs, but evidently not much accus- “A war made by Prussia to establish the tomed to society, for he had brought his hat- union would remind me of the Englishman not a compressible one-into the ball room; who fought and overcame a sentry in order and in waltzing he held it in his left hand. to hang himself in the sentry-box-that be The sight of the big Frenchman careening ing a right which he considered it his duty | around with his big hat extended at arms'. to vindicate on his own behalf and that of length was too much for Bismarck's sense every freeborn Briton.”—BUSCH. of fun; so, as M. Jouvois revolved past him, In the committee sittings of the Diet, he he dropped a coin into the hat. One may im- agine the scene. The Frenchman, turning sometimes would desert his own political friends and take his seat among his oppo- purple, stopped short in his dancing, led hig nents. One of these (Herr von Unruh) once partner back to her place and then came with asked him to what they were indebted for flashing eyes to demand satisfaction. There the honor of his presence on their side of the would have been assault and battery on the house. "Oh, that is very simple," replied spot, if friends had not interposed; but on the Bismarck; “my friends over there bore me to following day the Frenchman and the Prus- death; here I can amuse myself much better." sian met with pistols and the former was -POSCHINGER. wounded. ... His majesty instructed the Foreign Office to read the newly appointed "Ilerr von Bismarck, among all the peo | diplomatist a severe lecture.-Temple Bar, ple you have been most decent and polite to | January, 1885. OF THE GREAT Bismarck The French ambassador, the Marquis de shades of the all-prevailing color being sup- Moustier, in a heated discussion charged him plied by gold and scarlet berries. But not with leading Prussia to another Jena, where even the Bismarck bonnet was the "last cry," upon Bismarck instantly replied, “Why not to for there came the Bismarck chignon, which another Leipzig or another Waterloo ?”— compelled the ladies to dye their hair the WHITE. fashionable hue.-VIZETELLY. Adrien Hebrard told us lately how Gam- Adventure betta happened to meet Bismarck about this I believe that if I say that I have fallen time (1867] in a café near the opera-house | off my horse fifty times, I am not up to the renowned for its excellent German beer. It mark. To fall off your horse is nothing, but was very hot weather just then and the exhi- it is bad to fall with him and to have him bition was in full swing. Hebrard and Gam- lying on top of you. This occurred to betta were seated before two mugs of foam- me in Varzin, when I broke three of my ing beer, chatting gaily, when Bismarck, in ribs. I thought then that it was all over. full uniform, accompanied by an aide-de-camp There was not so much danger as appeared, and probably on his way back from some offi- but it was frightfully painful. Once before cial reception which had evidently made him I had a remarkable tumble, which proves how thirsty, entered the café and called for four people's power of thinking depends on the or five large mugs of beer which he drank off matter of the brain. I was riding home with one after the other. The colossus seemed my brother and we were riding as fast as the amused by the attention with which the two horses would go. Suddenly my brother, who friends watched him; he had just vanquished was a little in front, heard a frightful crack. Austria and Sadowa and annexed Hanover, It was my head, which had knocked on the notwithstanding the protests of his compatri- road. My horse had shied at the lantern of a ots. Gambetta, without thinking what he wagon, which was coming up, and reared was about, seized his companion's mug and backward and fallen with me on its own head. was just going to drink its contents, when I lost consciousness and when I came out of Hebrard caught his arm and said with a this state it was only a half recovery, that is laugh: “I say, that's my beer you're going to say a part of my thinking machinery was to drink; do you think you have got hold of quite clear and sound, but the other half was Hanover?” Whereupon Bismarck, instead of not there. I felt over my horse and found being offended at this remark, burst into that the saddle was broken. Then I called loud laughter with our two friends.—GIEUSI. my groom, ordered him to give me his horse, A very sober color proved the great one and rode home. When the dogs there barked of the reign-that, of course, being the unfor- at me a friendly greeting-I took them for getable Bismarck. It came upon Paris in strange dogs and was vexed with them and 1866, it flourished throughout 1867, it was scolded them. Then I said that the groom still in vogue at the end of 1868. Never, in had fallen with the horse and that he must all the annals of fashion, had a color so long be brought back on a litter. I was very angry and popular a run. It was after all a kind when, on a sign from my brother, they did not of Havana brown and owed its fortune solely carry out my orders. Did they mean to leave to its name. But in the days of Sadowa that the poor man lying in the wood? I did not was a name to conjure with. At first this know that I was myself and that I had got fashionable color appeared in a fairly warm home, or rather I was myself and the groom shade, known simply as Bismarck-written at the same time. I then asked for something Bismark by the way; but it suddenly took a to eat and went to bed. In the morning, duller tone and became known as Bismarck after I had slept it off, I was all right. It malade, until at last, assuming still warmer was a very singular case: I had looked at tints than before, it was christened succes the saddle, had got myself another horse, and sively Bismarck content and Bismarck en co- had done other things like that, everything, lore. There were also such varieties as Bis- in fact, that was practical and necessary. In marck glacé and Bismarck scintillant. And it all this the fall had produced no confusion in was Bismarck of one or another shade every- my ideas. It was a curious example to show where; there were Bismarck silks, satins and what different powers of the mind the brain velvets, woolen stuffs and cotton fabrics, accommodates. Only one of mine was be- Bismarck boots, Bismarck gloves, Bismarck numbed for any length of time by the fall.- parasols and Bismarck bonnets. The last BUSCH. were naturally of Bismarck straw, trimmed That the life of a servant was not a with Bismarck lace, the only relief from the matter of trifling to him he had shown pre- Bismarck 48 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES viously when with considerable personal dan. passing through the large street in Berlin ger he saved his groom from drowning. The called Unter den Linden, and quite near medal awarded to him for this brave deed the place where Hoedel and Nobiling have was for some time Bismarck's only order. A since attempted the life of Emperor William, diplomatist who inquired somewhat supercili he suddenly heard a shot fired close behind ously about the meaning of the unpretending him. He turned sharply around and saw a decoration, Bismarck silenced with the non young man who, with a smoking revolver, chalant reply, “I am sometimes in the habit was aiming at him. He strode up at once of saving a person's life.”-HUEFER in The to the man and seized the arm that held the Gentleman's Magazine, 1877. Orders he alto revolver, while with his other hand he gether set little value on. When he was grasped the throat of his would-be murderer. prime minister and his breast was richly | Blind, however, had had time to pass his decorated with badges of honor, he once said: weapon to his left hand and now fired three “The only order I value is the medal for shots in quick succession. Bismarck felt him- saving life that I once received when I saved self hurt in the shoulder and in one of his a Uhlan from drowning.” “People say, in ribs, but he held his furious assailant fast deed," I interposed, "that you had first until some soldiers came up and took hold thrown him into the water.” “And people are of him. Then Bismarck walked home at a nearly right,” he continued. "He asked me fast pace and reached his own house long be- if the water was deep where he wished to fore anybody there could know what had bathe the horses and I answered in the nega happened. The countess had some friends tive with a good conscience, but he rode too with her when her husband entered the draw- far and would have lost his life if I had not ing room. He greeted all in a friendly sprung to his aid.”—ANDREA-ROMAN. manner and begged to be excused for a few minutes, as he had some urgent business to I have been trying very hard to think attend to. He then walked into the next whether yesterday was not Friday after all, room, where his desk stood, and wrote to in- when I left; it was certainly a dies nesfastus form the king of the accident. IIaving at- (Zittelmann will tell you what that means). tended to this duty he returned to the draw- At Giessen I got into an abominably cold ing room and made one of his little standing room, with three windows that would not jokes, ignoring his own unpunctuality and close, a bed that was too short and too nar- saying to his wife, “Well, are we to have row, dirty, bedbugs. About two o'clock a no dinner to-day? You always keep me wait- shrewd idea occurred to me to put on the ing." He sat down and partook heartily of great fur coat, lie down on the bed with it the dishes set before him and it was only and sleep for one hour; infamous coffee, than when dinner was over that he walked up to which I never knew worse. At Gunsterhausen the countess, kissed her on the forehead and some ladies entered the first class and smok- wished her in the old German way, “Geseg- ing ceased. ... Between Gunsterhausen and nete Mahlzeit” (May your meal be blessed), Gerstungen one of the pipes of the locomo- and then added, “You see I am quite well.” tive quietly burst; the water ran out; there She looked up at him. “Well," he continued, we were one and a half hours in the open air, "you must not be anxious, my child. Some- a pretty region and warm sunshine. ... By body has fired at me, but it is nothing, as you reason of the delay we reached Halle three see.”-Blackwood's Magazine, August, 1878. hours late; the Berlin train had left long before. I shall have to sleep here and travel In Sentimental Vein on a freight train to-morrow morning at half “The value of a good cigar is really not past six, arriving at two. Here at the rail- appreciated until it is the last of its kind way station there are two hostelries; through and no prospect of any more. At Koenigs- an oversight I happened into the wrong one; gratz I had only one cigar in my pocket and a policeman walked up and down in the room I took as good care of it during the battle and critically contemplated my beard while I as a miser does of his treasure. I pictured ate musty beefsteak. I am very miserable, to myself in glowing colors the pleasure of but shall nevertheless eat the remains of the the hour when I should enjoy this cigar in smoked goosebreast, drink a little port wine peace after the battle. But I was mistaken and then to bed.-BISMARCK, letter to Frau for somebody spoiled my game for me." "And Bismarck, Halle, January 7, 1852. who was it spoiled your game?” “A poor It was in 1866. Bismarck—then Count | dragoon. He lay there utterly helpless, both Bismarck-was returning from the palace arms badly injured and he was wailing for where he had been to see the king. While refreshments. I searched through all my 49 Bismarck OF THE GREAT pockets but I found only gold—and that was you-that-I am-not-your cousin. My worthless. Then I remembered my precious friend, your German cousin, that is the orig- cigar. I lit the cigar and placed it be inal, is so busily engaged preparing for the tween his teeth, and you ought to have seen coming examination that he requested me to the grateful smile of the unfortunate. Never do you the favor your father had asked for. did a cigar afford me as much pleasure as My name is Otto von Bismarck." I looked this one which I did not smoke.”—Posch at him with the utmost surprise, but just INGER. then the wagon started and ended the ad- There are circumstances in which death venture. Many years passed and the unknown on the scaffold is as honorable as death on Bismarck became Prince and Chancellor. I had been married forty years when I again the battle-field. I can figure to myself worse modes of death than capital execution.- visited Berlin. I wrote a few words on a card HESEKIEL. and sent the message to the prince. The re- sult was that within an hour I received an Bismarck told Mr. von Keudel one day | invitation to the palace of the Chancellor and that he had assisted a young man whom the very quickly found myself in a lively conver- police were after. "I received instructions sation with him. Bismarck was in the best from Berlin to cause the arrest of a young of humor. Bismarck said to me: “It was man who had been politically badly com- due to you that I cultivated the muses in promised. Now it is not at all proper that Berlin, but since that time I have had no a young man who had made a mistake should success in that direction.”—LIMAN. be persecuted as a revolutionist. It is cer- tainly possible that he may regain his com- At the time that Bismarck was Prussian mon sense, for that has happened to many | ambassador at Paris the Hessian chargé- a one of the 1848. Early in the morning I d'affaires in France was Graf Enzenberg. It called on this young man and said to him: was this nobleman's hobby to collect auto- 'You had better travel as quickly as possible graphs of famous statesmen. On one of the into some foreign country.' He looked at me | pages of his album Guizot had written the in surprise. I said: “You do not seem to | following: "All through my long career I know me; perhaps you need money to get have learned to forgive much and often, but away with. Take these few gold pieces and to forget nothing.” M. Thiers had written get over the boundary line as quickly as you underneath: "A little shortness of memory can, or it might be said that police energy cannot detract from the sincerity of forgive- was superior to diplomacy.' On the follow- | ness." Bismarck was asked to inscribe some- ing day of course the police could not find thing on the same page and so wrote at the him." bottom: “As for myself, existence has taught The following incident is narrated by a me to forget many things and get myself Swedish lady in the Swedish newspaper, the | forgiven for a great many more.”-A FEL- Goeteborgpost. When I was a young girl LOW STUDENT. I was sent to Rome for a few months. I When Dohm was sentenced to imprison- traveled with a lady companion of mature | ment for publishing a gross joke against the years and two maids. I had been told to little Princess of Heuss-Lobenstein, his pow- spend a short time in Berlin. An aunt of erful friend obtained his pardon from the mine had married a German and her son king, and Bismarck himself allowed many was at school in Berlin, but I had never seen things to appear in the paper which, if he him. My father wrote him a letter a few had wished it, he might have punished with days before my departure from home, ask all the severity of the Prussian press laws. ing him to look after me while in Berlin. On When, however, he was once ridiculed in my arrival in Berlin I was welcomed in the the Kladderadatsch for his bad shooting at most cordial manner by my German cousin.a chamois hunt at Gastein the pride of the He was a well-developed young man, with noble sportsman was hurt and the unequal particularly bright eyes. For three days friendship was on the point of coming to a he was my faithful companion. Of course, sad end. To attacks of this kind he is he spoke no Swedish, but used elegant very sensitive. Accusations of perjury and French. Never had I so pleasant a cavalier violations of the constitution will not spoil and I was very proud indeed of my German his appetite; nay—and this is very charac- cousin. The hour of my departure came all teristic of the man-he will bear any criti- too quickly. Just as I was about to leave cism, whether just or unjust, that is openly he said to me: “Cousin, I have a confession made against him with a quietness which is to make. You see, cousin, I want to inform | usually only the property of singularly noble Bismarck 50 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES natures; but whoever casts a doubt upon his on it and smashed them to pieces. “I must personal honor, his family, his nobility, or break something,” he cried. “Now I breathe his courage, may be sure that the attack again.”—The Quarterly Review, October, 1890. will not pass unnoticed.-SCHLESINGER in At the outset of the Danish war old The Fortnightly Review, July 15, 1866. Field Marshal or "Papa" Wrangel was at On arriving at the Russian capital he the head of operations. There was some fear found that it was the latest fashion among that the western powers might object to the the Russian aristocracy to have mottoes on German troops entering Jutland; in conse- their carriages. Immediately he ordered the quence of which a telegram was sent to the word Nitchto, a sort of Russian Nil admirari Field Marshal, bidding him advance no fur- [to wonder at nothing] to be painted on his ther, who thereupon wired back to King own carriage, and thus made his debut in William that “these diplomatists, who spoil high society.---SCHLESINGER in The Fort the most successful operations, deserved the nightly Review, June 1, 1866. gallows." Bismarck took care to ignore “People! What did they mean by peo- Wrangel's presence whenever he met him on later occasions, which could not fail to an- ple? No expression," he said, "has been noy him. One day, however, they met at more misused in recent years than this word. Everybody understands by it just that which dinner, having both been invited to the king's table. It was a peculiarity of Wran- suits his ends; namely, a certain number of individuals whom he has succeeded in win- gel that he always called everybody "Du," or ning for his views.”—DAWSON in The Fort- "thou”; and, turning to Bismarck, who sat nightly Review, May, 1895. next to him, he said, "My son, canst thou not forget ?" "No," was the curt reply. On some occasion a lady, on being pre- | After a short pause Wrangel began again: sented to the prince, remarked that as she “My son, canst thou not forgive?” “With had on that morning been introduced to all my heart," answered Bismarck, and the Count Beust, she had had the honor of two remained friends until Wrangel's death. speaking in one day to the two greatest -PoschINGER. statesmen of her time. "Madam," the Chan- cellor replied, "you flatter me too much, call- Examples abound of great men on the ing me a great statesman compared to my eve of great events a prey to despondency Austrian colleague. His excellency has four and unconscious of the brilliant career in store for them. Bismarck is one. “St. Pe- and twenty great ideas every day of his life, and I in four and twenty years have had only tersburg, March 25, 1861. For the rest I one.”—DICEY in The Nineteenth Century, have reconciled myself to the life here, do not find the winter at all as bad as I thought, and March, 1894. ask for no change in my position till, if it At a dinner in the Winter Palace when is God's will, I retire to Schoenhausen or Alexander II. proposed a toast to his uncle, Reinfeld, to set the carpenter at work on King William I., Bismarck promptly emptied my coffin without unnecessary haste. The his glass. The Czar, whose glass was still ambition to be minister quits a man now for half filled, then proposed the health of Bis. manifest reasons, which are not at all suited marck; the latter looked somewhat confused, for written communication. In Paris or Lon- then answered the Czar, saying: “I should don I should exist less comfortably than here, like to oblige your majesty, but among us and not have more to say upon matters; Germans there is an adage, 'He whose inten a change in abode is half way in dving."- tions are honest empties his glass."" There Quarterly Revicw, January, 1879. was a twitching about the mouth of the Czar, but he ordered his glass filled before he Diplomatist drank the toast he had proposed.-POSCH. When Bismarck was Superintendent of INGER. Dikes, a meeting of property owners was He told me further that he kept in his called for the purpose of obtaining the signa- family papers a copy of the treaty of Nikols. tures necessary for the construction of a new burg on which the king had written with dam over some real estate. The meeting his own hand: "I sign, vanquished by the opened at nine o'clock in the forenoon; the violence of my prime minister.”—THERS. farmers were well represented at the gather- ing in the large reception room of the hotel. No sooner had the door closed behind The table, on which lay the agreements, stood the King of Saxony (Gastein, 1863) than near a door leading to a small adjoining Bismarck threw down a table with glasses room, which had also another entrance. Just OF THE GREAT Bismarck as the clock struck Bismarck appeared in the how to handle such a gang," said Bismarck. uniform of a reserve officer, took off his sword POSCHINGER. and placed it against the wall. The farmers He had not been elected to the legislature were discussing noisily whether the dam was [the United Diet at Berlin), but, the person at all necessary, as the old dam had lasted chosen being ill, the young squire went as a so long, would probably last longer, etc. Bis- substitute; nothing was expected of him: he marck listened for some time without saying tells us that at his first election speech he a word; then he seized his sword, brought was pelted with stones and the only recorded it with both hands down on the table, and parliamentary speech of his at that period cried out: "Now, you keep quiet; I have was a protest in a little provincial assembly, something to say." The farmers regarded "against the excessive consumption of tallow the tall figure on the other side of the table | in an almshouse."—WHITE. with indignation, but were silent. In a short speech Bismarck called attention to the weak An amusing incident belonging to the condition of the old dam and argued that it early part of Bismarck's career may conclude would certainly be better to take the little this part of the subject. It is connected land necessary for a new dam than to sus with his maiden speech, received by his au- tain the serious damage almost sure to fol dience with similar shouts of laughter and low & spring freshet. The surveyor read indignation as those which roused the ire of the agreements and Bismarck asked for sig. the youthful member from Maidstone. Bis- natures. An old farmer, whose wrinkles were marck did not, like Lord Beaconsfield, hurl indicative of age, declared with deliberation: a prophecy of future success at his antago- “You may be right, Mr. Superintendent, but | nists, but his retort was none the less sig. I shall not sign.” Bismarck's smile indi nificant. Calmly he drew a newspaper from cated that he had expected this refusal; he his pocket and began perusing its contents in called the office boy and whispered a few the most unconcerned manner until the presi- words into his ear. Evidently following in dent had restored order.-HUEFER in The structions, the lad passed through the crowd Gentleman's Magazine, 1877. of farmers to the main door, locked it and When Count Schwerin, who occupied the placed the key on the table at Bismarck's presidential chair, remarked that he would hand. The farmers were nonplussed and in- be obliged to call the honorable member to quired of each other what this procedure in order if he made the constitution of his dicated. Bismarck arose: “It means that country an object of derision, he insolently you will not leave here until you have replied that he would not accept any warn- signed,” said he. The farmers regarded these ings and that hitherto he had given the pres- words with complacency, but they adhered ident no occasion to call him to order; when to their determination: "We do not sign.” the president carried out his threat, he shook Bismarck lit a cigar, chatted with the sur- himself like a dog that has just come out of veror and read the newspaper. An hour water and made some remarks which we will passed by without indications to surrender not repeat here.-SCHLESINGER in The Fort- on the part of the farmers. Bismarck sent | nightly Review, June, 1866. out for breakfast. The surveyor cleared the table and bread and butter, ham and eggs and In the summer of 1851, he told me, that beer were brought in. With the utmost the Minister, Manteuffel, asked him one day nonchalance Bismarck disposed of his break abruptly if he would accept the post of am- fast, to which he had invited the surveyor, bassador to Frankfort, to which (although the farmers being left to look on, not without the proposition was as unexpected a one as curious eyes and grumbling stomachs. After if I should hear by the next mail that I had the table had been cleared the agreements been chosen Governor of Massachusetts) he were again produced. After another hour answered, after a moment's deliberation, Yes, had passed one of the farmers, who had evi without another word. The king the same denced a greater interest in the breakfast day sent for him and asked him if he would proceedings than any of the others, offered to accept the place, to which he made the same sign. Having done so, he was permitted to brief answer, “Ja.” His majesty expressed pass out through the small door, the table a little surprise that he made no inquiries being moved aside sufficiently to permit him or conditions, when Bismarck replied that to reach it. In less than half an hour all had anything which the King felt strong enough signed and the surveyor expressed his gur- | to propose to him, he felt strong enough to prise that everything had passed off so nicely. accept.-JOHN LOTHROP MOTLEY, Correspon. "Yes, dear, it is only necessary to knowdence. Bismarck 52 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES In May, 1851, shortly after his appoint- ject, asking Bismarck how he managed to get ment as Chancellor of Legation, he wrote his letters safely through, if he did manage from Frankfort to his wife: “Intercourse it. “You shall know by and by," was the here consists of little but mutual distrust and answer, and on they strolled together, talk. espionage. If there were really only some- | ing on indifferent subjects. Presently the thing to find out or to conceal! Those here Hanoverian representative remarked that are worrying themselves about the merest | Bismarck led the way out of the fashionable rubbish and these diplomatists with their quarter of the town into more dingy and yet pompous peddling always appear to me a | more dingy by-ways, and wondered a little, good deal more ridiculous than a member of but went on. As they entered a street which the Second Cabinet in all the pride of his would be called a slum in London, the Han. lofty station. Unless external accidents overian observed with attention that Bis. should accrue-and we super-sagacious crea- | marck drew out his gloves, which usually tures are incapable of either bringing them reposed in his pocket; and not only did he about or of dealing with them-I know exact clothe his left hand, but, more surprising ly how much we shall effect in one, two or still, he drew on his right glove also, but- five years from the present time, and will toning each carefully. This done, he looked engage to do it all myself within twenty- | about him, and, apparently discovering what four hours, if the others be only truthful he sought, advanced to the little shops called and sensible for a single day. I never doubt "general," where the poor provide themselves ed that, one and all, these gentlemen pre with tea, cheese, pickles, dried fruit, lamp oil pared their dishes of water, but such thin, and many other commodities. “Come in with mawkish water-soup as this, devoid of the me," said Bismarck to his friend, after look. least appearance of richness, positively as ing through the shop window; and as they tounds me. Send me your village school entered he raised his voice and continued master or road inspector, clean-washed and a conversation, of which the Hanoverian did combed-they will make just as good dip not recollect the beginning. Ruse obvious, lomatists as these. I am making tearing was at once understood. "Boy," said Big. progress in the art of absolutely saying noth marck to a dull-looking lad behind the coun- ing in an indefinite number of words; I write ter-and interrupting his talk to do so letters, many pages long, which read as glib "do you sell soap?” “Yes, sir.” “What and smooth as leading articles; and, if after soap? What sorts have you?” “This and reading them Manteuffel can tell what they this and here's another," said the boy, put- are about, he knows a good deal more than ting before Bismarck a variety of strongly. I do. Each one of us behaves as if he scented cakes. “Well, and how much is believes that his neighbor were stuffed full this?” the diplomatist asked, handling one of of ideas and projects, if he only chose to the cakes; "and how much is this?” fumbling let some of them out; and in reality all of us with another. The price named, a piece was put together know no more what is going to selected and the conversation went on while become of Germany than a grocer's paper bag the soap was being wrapped in paper. Now knows about next summer. No one-not even Bismarck, as if suddenly recollecting himself, the most malignant skeptic of a Democrat plunged his hand into a breast pocket and could conceive what an amount of quackery drew out an unenclosed letter. Apparently and humbug there is in this diplomacy.”— annoyed at his forgetfulness, he cried: "Do BUSCH. you sell envelopes, boy ?-bring them out.” Envelopes-wretched things were produced; When he represented Prussia in the Diet at Frankfort he strongly suspected the letter was placed in one of them and, asking for pen and ink, Bismarck set out to that his letters and despatches were over- write the address. But, with a monstrous hauled in transit, on behalf of Austrian thick glove on, and tightly buttoned up, this diplomacy; indeed, he complained of it bit- was not easy to do. So, flinging down the terly. Nor was he the only complainant. pen impatiently, he said, “Here, boy, you can Others seem to have suffered in a like man- write, I suppose? "Mr. Smith- '" etc., etc. ner; though whether they were equally inge The scrawl finished, Bismarck took the letter nious in discovering a remedy is doubtful. | and left the shop. “Now," said he to his On one occasion, after a stormy meeting, Bis friend as they passed outside, at the same marck and the Hanoverian representative, or time putting the letter to his nose, “what secretary of the Hanoverian representative, with the soap, the herrings, the candles and walked away together; and as they walked the cheese, I don't think they'll smell my the Hanoverian touched upon this sore sub- despatch under that.” The perfect detail of 53 Bismarck OF THE GREAT this expedient is highly illustrative of Bis- | Prussia) were perhaps as frequent, or even marck's way of doing things.—New Review, more so, than the accusations of the govern- 1890, subsequently published by BARON DE ment; but this had no effect in inducing the MALORTRE in Cornhill Magazine, September, latter to cease its prosecutions. That those 1898. whom it accused should be convicted was not I asked the minister about the celebrated always the main object; all it sometimes cigar story. "At the sittings of the military wanted was to confiscate the copies of a commission, when Rochow represented Prus- Liberal journal or periodical, and thereby sia at the Diet, only Austria smoked. Ro- to inflict heavy losses on its proprietors. If, chow, being a passionate smoker, would cer- after several weeks, the case was decided tainly have liked to do likewise, but did not against the government, and the confiscated venture. When I came, I too longed for a copies had to be returned, this was but poor cigar; and, as I saw no reason why I should consolation for the proprietor; for he had not have one, I begged a light from the presi- no alternative other than to resign himself dent, and my request seemed to strike him to be ruined by a systematic repetition of the and the other gentlemen with astonishment. procedure or to restrict his opposition to the It was manifestly an event for them. Now government within the narrowest bounds. only Austria and Prussia smoked. The other ... In Prussia newspapers are paid for a gentlemen thought the matter so important quarter in advance; what advertiser would that they sent home a report upon the point. invest his money in it?-SCHLESINGER in The The matter required much consideration and Fortnightly Review, July 15, 1866. for half a year only the two great powers Roon [1859] urged him to stand firm. smoked. Then Schrenkh, the Bavarian Am | “Call Herr von Bismarck, your majesty," said bassador, began to support the dignity of his | Roon. "He will not be willing to undertake position by smoking. Nostitz, of Saxony, the task," said the king; "besides he is not would have liked to join us, but seemed not here and the situation cannot be discussed to have received permission from his minis- without him." "He is here and at your ter. On the next occasion, seeing the Han majesty's orders,” replied Roon. That after- overian Bothwer indulging himself, he seems noon Bismarck went to Babelsberg. When to have had an understanding with Roth he was in audience the fate of Prussia berg; for he presently took a cigar from trembled in the balance. The king [Frederick his case and smoked away. There were only William IV.] sat at a table with papers on it. left Wurttemberg and Darmstadt. But now One of them was the act of abdication already the honor and importance of their states de signed. He asked Bismarck whether he manded a similar right; and so at the follow would undertake to carry on the government ing sitting the Wurttemberg delegate took out | in the face of a hostile majority. "Most cer- a cigar-I see it before me now, it was a long, tainly," was the reply. “Notwithstanding thin, yellowish thing—and smoked half of it that the supplies may be stopped ?” continued as a sacrifice to the Fatherland.”-Busch. the king. “Yes," said Bismarck, and, as he | used to tell the story, in as decided a tone If a newspaper ventured to express the as he could command. The powerful person- opinion that the Bismarck ministry did not ality and attitude of the statesman so im- possess the confidence of the nation, it was pressed the king that he then and there tore open to the charge of having preached “hatred up the act of abdication and also a long and contempt for the government”; press memorandum of sixteen pages of foolscap trials for "failure in the respect which is due which he had written for publication in to the king,” occurred every day; nay, it has justification of his policy and conduct.--The even happened that Liberal newspapers were Quarterly Review, October, 1898. prosecuted for having printed a despatch of Earl Russell's which had been officially pub In 1865 I was at Gastein with Count lished and presented in due form by the Brit Blome, an Austrian, discussing with him the ish ambassador to the Prussian Minister so-called Gastein agreement. I was told that President. In this, too, was seen a failure the count said that he judged the character in the respect that is due to majesty. For of a man by his doings at the gambling table tunately the poison of corruption had not yet and that he frequently acted upon the im- entered into the core of the Prussian bench. pressions thus obtained. I thought, I will The charges brought by the public prosecu take care of you. On the next evening I tor were not always followed by conviction; played quinze with him and I gambled like nay, the acquittals on the part of the judges a lunatic; I bet on all sorts of impossible (press trials not being decided by a jury in | cards so that in a short time I lost between Bismarck 5+ WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 500 and 600 dollars. The count undertook earnest representations to him on the arbi- to reprimand me for my lack of discretion, trary violence of his internal policy: “The but I replied that it was all a matter of luck. worst thing that can happen to me is that a He came to an agreement with me the fol halter will be put around my neck. What lowing morning. The state ought to have then if it serves to bind more firmly your repaid me those 600 dollars. With this excep-| highness's throne to the rest of Germany?"- tion I never gambled in my life, unless I | SCHLESINGER in The Fortnightly Review, had no money; later on I had too much June, 1866. sense to gamble.-EICHSTEDT-PETERSWALDT. He spoke of the good fortune he had Prince Bismarck once said to me: “In In met with. He had been chosen as a repre- 1866 I did not care to take any territory from sentative to the United Landstag, when he Austria, because I wished to return thither attracted the attention of the king, [Fred- after twelve or fifteen years without being erick William IV.] who offered him the posi- hissed.”_BLOWITZ, in Harper's Magazine, tion of consul to Frankfort. When Bismarck July, 1894. at once accepted the offer, the king ex- "I rather envy you English statesmen,” pressed his astonishment and said: “I am said the Chancellor, “the excitement of the surprised at your accepting so difficult an House of Commons. You have the pleasure office without any deliberation.” Bismarck of being able to call a man a damned in replied that he was still more surprised at fernal scoundrel. Now I cannot do that in the courage of his majesty in offering such diplomacy.”—Blackwood's Magazine, May, a post to an inexperienced newcomer. How- 1911, quoting VISCOUNT GOSCHEN. ever, he concluded that both might try the Long ago an insignificant deputy so far experiment. · He should promptly apply for forgot good manners as to charge the Chan, his dismissal should he find himself incapable cellor with unveracity. Prince Bismarck's of handling the matters entrusted to him; on face flushed in an instant, as, throwing his the other hand, the king could dismiss him hand upon his sword, he exclaimed wrath at once if he found that the business of the fully, "Say that again!” But there was no position were not attended to properly. "If response.—Temple Bar, May, 1888. that is the way you feel about it,” replied I remember when in Göttingen, upwards | the king, "you may start at once without of thirty years ago, laying a wager with an hesitation."-COHEN. American concerning the probable union of I His patience tried to the utmost, he, the Germany within twenty years. The stakes minister, would then go to the king (William were, the winner was to give the loger twenty I.) and tell him that such and such a rusty five bottles of champagne, the loser to pay | official could no longer be got along with the winner a visit on the other side of the and must necessarily give place to a more ocean. He had betted that Germany would not efficient person; whereupon “the old gentle- be united, I that it would be. When 1853 ar man," melting with pity, would say, "Oh, rived I recollected the affair and intended to he has so long been a faithful servant of the fulfil my part of the bargain. On making state, would it not be cruel to cast him aside inquiries, however, I found that he was dead. like a squeezed-out orange ?-no, I cannot do I may add that the American's name was it.” “And there,” said Bismarck; "there hardly suggestive of longevity-Coffin. The we are.” I ventured to suggest that an offer curious thing, however, is, that even so long to resign on his part, if he could not have ago as 1833, as the above narrative shows, I his way, might make the king less tender must have had firm faith that that which, of his inefficient friends in high places. "Oh,” with God's help, has happened, would happen, said Bismarck with a laugh, “I have tried although at that time I was thoroughly op- that often, too often, perhaps, to make it posed to the political societies that were impressive. What do you think happens laboring to that end.—Busci, quoting Bis when I offer my resignation ? My old gentle- marck. man begins to sob and cry-he actually sheds There was undoubtedly great personal tears and says, 'Now you want to leave me courage in provoking with such boldness the too?' And when I see him shed tears, what ill-will of the masses. "I have made up my in the world can I do then ?"-SCHUBZ in mind to a lamp post," he used to say in AcClure's Magazine, August, 1908. those times, “but I will defend my skin against the mob to the last.” And more The Tocsin of War recently he is said thus to have replied to Bismarck said that he was at one time the Crown Prince, when the latter made some tempted to take part in a military movement 55 Bismarck OF THE GREAT and that he contemplated taking service in I looked at Moltke, who sat quietly on his India under the British flag, emulating the horse and did not seem to be disturbed by example of Prince Waldemar. "In the mean what was going on about us. I thought I time," said Bismarck, “I asked myself what | would test it if he was really as calm as those fellows in India had ever done against he appeared. I rode up to him and asked me.”—THADDEN-TRIEGLAFF. him whether I might offer him a cigar, since After the days of March the troops were I noticed that he was not smoking. He re- in Potsdam and the king in Berlin. When I plied that he would be glad if I had one to went out to Potsdam a great discussion was spare. I presented to him my open case in going on as to what should be done. General which there were only two cigars, one a Moellendorf, who was there, sat on a stool not very good Havana and the other of rather far from me, looking very sour. They had poor quality. Moltke looked at them and peppered him so that he could sit only half even handled them with great attention, in on. One was advising this and another that, order to ascertain their relative value, and but nobody very well knew what to do. I then with slow deliberation chose out the sat near the piano, saying nothing, but struck Havana. “Very good,' he said complacently. up a couple of notes, “Dideldum, dittera," This re-assured me very much. I thought, if [here he hummed the beginning of an in- Moltke can bestow so much time and atten- fantry quick step). The old fellow got up tion upon the choice between two cigars, from his stool at once, his face beaming with things cannot be very bad. Indeed, a few delight, embraced me and said, “That's the minutes later we heard the Crown Prince's right thing! I know what you mean-march guns, we observed unsteady and confused on Berlin.” As things fell out, however, movements in the Austrian positions, and the nothing came of it.—POSCHINGER. battle was won.”--SCHURZ in McClure's Magazine, August, 1908. During the battle the king (William I.] rode into the danger zone and could not be DURING THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR induced to retire to a safe position. Bis- marck galloped up to him and said pleading- In the conduct of the war Bismarck had, ly: "If your majesty has so little regard for of course, no share. But he had nevertheless your own person, kindly show some sympathy frequent opportunities of showing that, in his for the president of the council from whom judgment, war was war, and that in war the your faithful Prussian people will demand sternest measures were on the whole the most their king; in the name of the people, I ask humane. He over and over again declared you to leave this place of danger.” The that Paris should have been immediately king took Bismarck's hand and said, “Very stormed. He ridiculed the notion that its well, let us ride on." As he said this he bombardment should be avoided because it turned the head of his horse and rode along contained works of art. "If the French as leisurely as if he were on the drive to the wanted to preserve their monuments and menagerie at home. "My feet and hands collections of books and pictures from the were trembling," said Bismarck later in tell- dangers of war they should not have sur- ing the incident; "I rode up close to the king rounded them with fortifications." The life and gave his horse a quick kick with the toe of one German soldier was "worth more than of my boot; the horse gave a jump and the all the trashy pictures" in Versailles. His king looked astonished-it was all done in a voice, too, was always in favor of the extreme moment I believe the king knew what had measures which war perhaps justifies. "Our happened, but he said nothing.”—“Zur Guten people," he complains, “are very good marks- Stunde,” 1895. men, but bad executioners. Every village in which an act of treachery has been committed "It was an anxious moment" [Koenigs. should be burned to the ground and all the gratz], said Bismarck, “a moment on which male inhabitants hanged.” When he was told the decision of the fate of empires depended. that sixteen hundred prisoners had been What would have become of us if we had lost taken on the Loire, he remarked, “I should that battle? Squadrons of cavalry all mixed have been better pleased if they had all been up, huzzars, dragoons, uhlans, were stream- corpses. It is simply a disadvantage to us ing by the spot where the king, Moltke and now to make prisoners."-WALPOLE. myself stood and, although we had calculated that the Crown Prince might long have ap The count [Bohlen] told us that a woman peared behind the Austrian rear, no sign of | had come to the minister at Commercy to the Crown Prince! Things began to look complain that her husband had been put in ominous. I confess I felt not a little nervous. prison for having struck a hussar in the back Bismarck WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES with a spade. The minister looked pleasant Then I handed him the Brussels Indis- and heard her story out and, said my author crete. “There is a wonderful biography of ity: “When she had done he said to her in me there, which is extremely comical. They the kindest tone, ‘My good woman, you may would find it as true to my character as the take my word for it that your husband,' and pictures are to the text they illustrate. Pos- he drew his fingers around his throat, 'will sibly something in it might be made use of be hanged at once.'”-BUSCH. for our own papers.”-Busch. [Frederick the It was on the morning of September 2; Great also made lampoons on himself more I had been riding around for several hours accessible to the public.] in the neighborhood of Sedan and had de We had on the table cognac, red wine veloped a great hunger. I had had very little and sparkling Mainz wine. Some one spoke to eat for twenty-four hours. I was riding of beer and remarked that we had none. near a woods when an odor resembling steak The minister rejoined: “That is of no con- and onions greeted my olfactory nerves. sequence. The widespread use of beer is Soldiers are doing some cooking, I thought; much to be deplored. Beer-drinking makes that is the place to go and get a square meal. men stupid, lazy and impotent. It is the I followed in the direction of the odor and cause of all the Democratic pot-house politics came to Bazeilles, where it is known that the which people talk over it. Good corn brandy corpses of numerous Frenchmen were burned. | would be better."--BUSCI. It was these garlic-eating Frenchmen that It is perfectly true, as an officer re- emitted the tempting odor. Of course, my marked, that one sees hardly any French- appetite was gone, despite my grumbling women about. Count Bismarck said the stomach.-BRAUER, quoting BISMARCK. other day that young and pretty girls were When the battle of the tenth was rag. so rare that he makes a point of greeting ing, the decisive struggle taking place at them whenever he meets them.—Letter of Gravelotte, Bismarck had advanced with the HENRY ABEKEN, September 25, 1870, to Mrs. king rather too far and for a little while they | Abeken. were in danger. Afterwards, he, single- With Sheridan handed, was carrying water to the badly The way the Chancellor always told this wounded.--Busch. story was as follows: The Duke of Mecklen- Our route led through the village of burg and General Sheridan were staying with Gorze and here we found the streets so ob me. I went out and managed to buy five eggs structed with wagons that I feared it would at a dollar each. I said to myself: "If I take us the rest of the day to get through, take these home I shall have to give two to for the teamsters would not pay the slightest the grand duke and two to Sheridan. There heed to the cries of the postillions. The will be only one for me.” So I ate two and count was equal to the emergency, however, took home three and there was one for each. for, taking a pistol from behind the cushions I told the grand duke many years after- and bidding me keep my seat, he jumped out wards and he forgave me. Sheridan I could and quickly began to clear the street effec not tell. He died. He never knew.-The tively, ordering wagons to the right and left. Athenæum, September 24, 1898. Marching in front of the carriages and mak- On the other hand, Bismarck-Bohlen ing way for us through the blockade, he then brought with him one great comfort-some resumed his seat, remarking: “This is not excellent brandy. Offering the flask to his a very dignified business for the Chancellor uncle, he said: “You've had a hard time of of the German Confederation, but it's the it; won't you refresh yourself ?” The Chan- only way to get through.” -SHERIDAN in cellor, without wasting time to answer, raised Scribner's Magazine, November, 1888. the bottle to his lips, exclaiming, “Here's to During tea time one evening at Versailles the unification of Germany!” which senti- (November 23, 1870) he began to talk about ment the gurgling of an astonishingly long his own death and indicated the exact age he drink seemed to emphasize. The count then was predestined to attain and the year ap- handed the bottle back to his nephew, who, pointed for his decease. “I know it,” he shaking it, ejaculated, "Why, we can't pledge wound up, saying, after some one present you in return-there's nothing left," to which had remonstrated against his assertions; "it came the waggish response, “I beg pardon; is a mystic number.” Seven years later he it was so dark I couldn't see," nevertheless repeated this assurance to me at Varzin, add there was a little remaining, as I myself ing, however, “But God only knows."- can aver.-SHERIDAN in Scribner's Magazine, Buscu. November, 1888. 57 Bismarck OF THE GREAT "I do not know how these Americans the strict orders which had been given them." have bewitched me," he said to me one even Here the prince paused an instant, half clos- ing at Versailles, “but I cannot send them | ing his eyes, as if recalling something; then away, although I have so much to do that resuming the conversation, he said: “I re- for me the day ought to have six hours over member an incident I shall never forget. We and above the twenty-four.” Sheridan re had met to discuss the question on which peatedly dined with the Chancellor and ac we could not agree. M. Thiers fought like a companied him to the battle-fields of Metz beau diable. M. Jules Favre wept, made and Sedan. They seemed to be mutually tragic gestures, and no progress was made. interested in and pleased with each other, so Suddenly I began talking German. M. Thiers much so that when the American general looked at me with an amazed air and said: had found shelter for the night at a peasant's 'You know very well that we do not under- hut at Rezonville, he was several times heard stand German,' 'Just so," I said; 'when I to murmur“Dear count” in his sleep. discuss with men with whom I ultimately ex- Busch in The North American Review, July, pect to come to an understanding, I speak 1880. their language; but when I begin to see that Negotiations for Peace it is useless to discuss with them I speak in my own; send for an interpreter.' The truth General Boyer, with despatches from is I was in a hurry to settle matters. I had Bazaine, came to Versailles on October 14, been on thorns for a week. I was expecting 1870, but Bismarck declined to entertain any every night to be woke up by a telegram serious business proposition on that day. He bringing an English, Russian, Austrian or inquired at the office as to the day of the Italian demand in favor of France. I know, month and was told that it was the four- indeed, I should have disregarded it, but it teenth. "Hochkirch and Jena also were on would have been none the less a direct inter- the fourteenth," he replied; “I shall not un- vention and an interference in the quarrel dertake anything serious on the fourteenth.” between France and Germany. This had to -BUSCH. be avoided at all costs and it was therefore The minister is sometimes very difficult that, despite my admiration for M. Thiers's to get along with. The worst thing is that patriotic tenacity, I was so offhand in talk- he will not listen to plain facts brought be- ing German. These tactics had a strange ef- fore him. Things he ought to know, some fect. M. Jules Favre extended his long arms times he will not know. Often I cannot help to heaven, his hair stood on end, and, con- laughing at him and myself, after the first cealing his face in his hands, he rushed into vexation is over. I always wish to give an a corner of the room, pressing his head exact answer to the questions he asks me. against the wall as if he would not be a Very often he does not reply at all, or answers witness to the humiliation inflicted on the something quite different, not listening to representatives of France in forcing them to what is said, only thinking of what he wants continue the negotiations in German. M. to say; it is frequently quite unintentional, Thiers looked above his spectacles with a but often, very often, quite intentional. He scandalized air, then rushed to a table at the strikes hard sometimes, which I deplore, for end of the room, and I heard his pen dash- people get blows they do not at all deserve. ing feverishly over the paper. In a short ABEKEN, letter to Mrs. Abeken, Rheims, Sep- time he came back to me. His small eyes tember 12, 1870. flamed behind his spectacles, his mouth was A graphic picture of him [Thiers) at the drawn up with anger, and he offered me the work has been drawn by Prince Bismarck in paper with an abrupt movement and in a an "interview” with a correspondent of the husky and almost harsh voice said, 'Is that Times: "Ah, the French have not been just what you want?' I looked at what he had to that poor M. Thiers. He was a true written; it was admirably drawn up and patriot, however, and the most striking figure pretty nearly what I wanted. I then re- I have yet met with in contemporary France. sumed speaking in French and the negotia- I had a kind of pity for that poor little old tions were completed in that language.”— man, who went over Europe in the rigors of The Quarterly Review, October, 1878. winter to solicit impossible succor, who crossed and re-crossed the lines separating us Bismarck offered a Havana to Jules from Paris, anxious to make peace, worried by Favre and, upon his declining it, he re- the requirements of those who had remained marked: “You are wrong there. When one in Paris, passing through musket shots has to start on a conversation which may fired at him by our outposts, notwithstanding involve discussion and violent argument, it is Bismarck 58 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES always advisable to smoke. When smoking, you know," he added, lighting his Havana, “the physical movements are in some degree paralyzed by the cigar which one holds, and, without interfering with the mental facul- ties, it proves soothing by slightly dulling the mind. The blue smoke which arises in spiral form, and the windings of which one's eye follows with delight, cause one to be more conciliatory. One feels happy, the eye is engaged, the hand is retained, and the sense of smell is gratified, all of which dis- poses one to make mutual concessions. By not smoking you have one advantage over yourself, you are more alert; but, on the other hand, you are also at a disadvantage, you are tempted to be violent and to yield to your first impulse.”'--HOCHE. One day when at Versailles, Lord Odo Russell went to call on Bismarck, but found that he was closeted with Count Harry Ar- nim. My lord had not waited long before the count came out, fanning himself with his handkerchief and looking as if he were about to choke. “Well,” he exclaimed, “I cannot understand how Bismarck can bear that- smoking the strongest Havanas in a stuffy little room. I had to beg him to open the window.” Presently my lord entered the sanctum of the Chancellor, whom he found gasping for breath almost at the open win- dow. “What strange tastes some people have,” remarked the prince, after exchanging compliments with the British envoy. “Arnim has just been with me and he was so over- poweringly perfumed that I could stand it no longer and had to open the window.” Well may my good lord have asked, on after- wards relating the story: “What is his. torical truth?''-POSCHINGER. Shortly before the Chancellor's depar- ture from Versailles Madame de Jesse came to inquire on what day she would be able to resume possession of the house. Said Bis- marck, in his most courteous manner, "I shall leave on the sixth, Madame, and, as you are here, I should greatly like to accompany you over the house in order that you may see that I have respected your property.” Ex- cepting that the floors were somewhat grimy --a detail, as the French would say-Madame de Jesse did not notice much amiss until she entered the principal drawing room. Once there, she looked in vain for a valuable old clock, surmounted by a curious figure of Satan, which had formerly stood on the mantel shelf. "Mon Dieu!” she exclaimed, "and my clock !” But Bismarck reassured her. “It has not been lost or stolen, Madame, it is in my room. Come and see. I removed it there because I admired it so much. Thiers did not like it. No, he didn't; though he is supposed to appreciate good bronzes. When he was here he kept on glancing at the timepiece and muttering, 'le diable, le maudit diable.' It seemed positively to horrify him -nevertheless we signed the preliminaries of peace in front of it.” “I could hardly re- frain,” Madame Jesse used to say, when she told the story; "I could hardly refrain from retorting: ‘Yes; I understand it was the Devil's peace.'” Bismarck admired the clock so much that he greatly desired to purchase it, but Madame de Jesse declined every offer. At the moment of the Chancellor's depar- ture the pendulum was removed and to this day the clock marks the hour when he left the house, where the triumph of Germany was consummated. He gave the gardener a gratu- ity of fifty francs, to which he added anoth- er forty, to compensate Madame de Jesse, said he, for the loss of some guinea fowls, which he had eaten. "I feared she would not like it,” he added, “but then I am so fond of guinea fowl, and, besides this, money will please her."-VIZETELLY. On the twenty-ninth of October, at din- ner, the Chancellor tells how Napoleon had asked him that Marshals Bazaine, Lebeuf and Canrobert should be allowed to join him at Wilhelmshvehe. "I see no harm in it,” he said; “I will recommend the thing to the king. There will be four of them-just enough for a game of whist. So many ex- traordinary things happen in these days that it may come to pass that Napoleon will as- semble the Legislative Chamber and the Sen- ate at Cassell, to deliberate on peace. Then I will call together the Reichstag at Ver- sailles. The various parties will all come, except the Fortschittspartei. These are like the Russians, who want to eat cherries in winter and oysters in summer. When a Rus- sian goes into a shop he asks for kaknje bud, that is to say, What have you not got?” --Fortnightly Review, December, 1878. Prince Bismarck is a great statesman but it may be doubted whether his greatness has gained much by the crusade he has under- taken against the clock caricatures in the French toy shops and comic papers. It may please him to know that the toy trade has suffered considerably by the interdicted sale of hundreds of thousands of miniature Prussians with timepieces under their arms, and that more than one French artist has been plunged into paroxysms of fury by the confiscation of plates representing himself 59 Bismarck OF THE GREAT (Bismarck) and his imperial master with -only a crow, with no love for music or for rows of watches on their breasts instead of musical birds.-SMALLHY, in Tho Fortnightly medals; but it is difficult to see how a means Review, July 1, 1893. can be found for stopping the allusions to One morning at Gastein, sauntering in clocks in the French New Year's extrava- the park, he became so interested in the ganzas. The Emperor Napoleon, who gave household economy of sundry birds which the matter much painful thought, had come nestled there that he utterly forgot and en- to the conclusion at last that trying to tirely missed an interview between the em- check unwelcome allusions on the stage was perors of Germany and Austria at which a vain endeavor, and, during the latter years his presence was especially important.- of his reign, French actors were allowed a WUTE. certain amount of latitude. It is doubtful whether M. Thiers will succeed where his Even as a child and ever since I always predecessor failed, and, indeed, he has not went late to bed, never before midnight. I succeeded hitherto; for though the orders generally dropped off to sleep at once, but issued to Parisian actors have been formal, shortly afterwards awakened-about one or they have only obeyed the letter of them, not two o'clock, and then all sorts of ideas pre- the spirit. At one theater an actor comes sented themselves, especially of instances to the footlights, fumbles for his watch, does where I had not been treated properly, and I not find it, and resignedly makes a gesture began to deliberate. Then I began to write descriptive of the peak of a Prussian helmet; letters and despatches, of course always in not a word has been pronounced, but the my imagination. At times, when I had audience understand and laugh. At another not been chancellor for any length of time, theater, where a burlesque is being per- I used to get up and write. Then in the formed, the king asks what time it is and morning when I got up and read what I had his prime minister answers, "Excuse me, sir, written, I saw that it was worthless, noth- but ever since our last war" and stops amid ing but platitudes, confused, worthless stuff, the great mirth of the whole house. The such as might be found in the Vossische conclusion to be drawn is that the best way | newspapers.--LIMAN. to kill a joke in France is to let it spend When Tiedemann conveyed to his chief itself.-Every Saturday, February 24, 1872. the news of the murderous attempt that had AFTER THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR been made, on June 2, 1878, by Nobiling, on the Emperor William I., Bismarck's first "Oh, the prince dislikes sitting," was the ejaculation was, “Now we will dissolve the answer. "He will hardly sit even to Len- bach.” And he (Dr. Crysander] told us how Reichstag.” Only after the ruling passion of political purpose had found involuntary the painter comes to Friedrichsruh and has expression did he inquire after the emperor's to take his chance, or watch for his oppor- condition and seek details of the dastardly tunities, talking to the prince and observing deed which had nearly robbed him of his be- him as best he can. The last portrait he loved master.-DAWSON in The Fortnightly painted shows such a Bismarck fancy thun- Review, September 1, 1898. dering at a stubborn majority in the Reichs- tag; full of righteous anger and stern pur One day (it was in 1876, I think) the pose, lightnings in the eye and the mouth Chancellor went out for a ride along the hard as iron. Well, the history of that por boundary of the Varzin estate. To his great trait is this: Prince Bismarck hates crows | surprise he saw, though it was Sunday, a because they are the enemies of the singing number of men at work in the fields with birds he loves. He and Herr Lenbach were hoe and spade. “What men are these?” he walking in the woods when the prince caught asked of his overseer. “Our laborers, your sight of one of these detested crows on the highness," was the reply; "we cannot spare branch of a tree. It was his sudden glance them in the six week days and now they of anger at the crow which the artist seized must work their own fields on Sundays." -one can imagine that look, fierce, and even The prince rode home and there immediately deadly, if a look could kill--and this it was wrote a note to all the overseers of his estate which was put on paper when they got home to the effect that the cultivation of the labor- and the sketch became the portrait which ers' fields should always precede that of his we see. It was no Socialist, no Particularist, own, but that in future he would not permit no human Philistine of any species, which any work to be done on Sunday. The result provoked this Olympian wrath which Len was that the laborers did what was neces- bach has fixed forever on the speaking canvas sary for their own fields in two or three Bismarck WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES days and then went cheerfully to work on "To-day is the thirteenth and Friday in. those of the prince, so that the head over to the bargain. That will not do; Sunday seer was soon able to report that never be will be the fifteenth-Wednesday the eight- fore had the field work been done so quickly. eenth, on which the Ordensfest is always -Busch in the North American Review, held—that will be a good day on which to August, 1880. issue the proclamation (one concerning the emperor and empire) to the German people.” He merely glanced through the books -BUSCH. he had received and took a number of them to his room, but never any printed in Latin I got him to speak about himself, the letters. No matter how much the publisher most interesting subject to hear him talk or the contents of such books might interest about. He alluded to his twenty-eight years him, he invariably threw them aside with a of incessant work and of the anxiety of those scowl and once said to me: “Write to this years. They had quite obliterated for him. person that I have no time to read German self, he said, the things cared for previously, books printed in Latin letters.” He had riding and shooting, and he added, music figured out that it took him eighty minutes and painting; but especially riding, he said to read in Latin letters what he could read again, of which he was once passionately in German in sixty.–BRAUER. fond; now he only regarded it as a healthy exercise and no longer delighted as of yore in “All great cities,” he said, “as being his horses. ... He then told me in a some- mere hotbeds of anarchy and revolution, what involved manner of General York, ought to be swept from the earth," a saying whose desertion from Prussia to Russia had which procured for him the sobriquet of had such an effect upon the deserter that his Stadtvertilger, or town-destroyer.-Posch hair blanched in a single night; "and I," INGER. said the prince, “have had not only one such A good story comes to us from Ischl, night as that, but dozens." ... As soon as the crowd saw him they set up where M. de Bismarck was spending a few days previous to his start for Biarritz. So a loud shout, “Hoch fuer Fuerst Bismarck !” A lady handed a bouquet to him and a little was Mademoiselle L- , a most charming American lady rushed up and seized him by actress, celebrated alike for her genius and the rigid correctness of her conduct. The the hand. We then walked back together minister and actress met on the public street; through the meadows and the woods. the former recognized the favorite of last Alluding to the incident of the American season, joined her and a conversation ensued lady the prince said: “It was also yesterday until they found themselves at the door of a that the American lady said something I did not understand, and who asked me to-day to photographer's chalet. M. de Bismarck did not quit his agreeable companion, but chatted shake hands with her, to which I answered that I would gladly do so." on, till suddenly the photographer, from un- der his black veil, rushed out and requested Nothing can exceed the courtesy of the prince in his manner of returning the the Prussian minister to stand somewhat on one side, “as otherwise," he explained, "the salutations of the people; he takes off his person of your excellency will appear in the light brown-colored wide-awake even to the picture nigh to that of the prima donna." children who salute him. We were amused "Mademoiselle," exclaimed the terrified dip- at a shout of “Hoch” proceeding from two lomatist, retreating precipitately. “Oh, pray peasants who passed in a cart, and the wide- awake was also lifted.-GOWER. remain where you are; the photograph is intended for the fiancé, and he will be much "All that nonsense about my supersti- flattered by the honor,” etc. M. de Bis tiousness had no more solid foundation than marck could not refuse, and thus it hap mere jokes on my consideration for other pened that the Prime Minister and the Ital- people's feelings. I will make one of thirteen ian cantatrice appeared in the same carte de at dinner as often as you please; and I visite. The absurd part of the story is, that transact the most important and critical the Prussian police, imagining that the re business on Friday, if necessary." The Ber- sult had been obtained by cutting out the lin Congress, presided over by Prince Bis- separate portraits of the personages with marck, was both opened and closed on the malicious intent, have seized the copies sold thirteenth.-Busch. at Berlin, notwithstanding which the pho- tograph has reached Paris and is to be Mr. Phelps (William Walter] told the purchased on the boulevards.-PEAT, | writer that Prince Bismarck always kept a 61 Bismarck OF THE GREAT pay." case of American whiskey for visitors from man champagne was coming into fashion and the United States.—FISHER in Munsey's that some of it was very good. “I do not Magazine, August, 1895. think so," said Bismarck. "At least it is not good for me, as my stomach does not take At the Table to it. I remember upon one occasion,” con- An irreverent Frenchman once remarked tinued the prince, "I was dining with his that if "the Colossus (Bismarck] ever died," gracious majesty. I had some champagne it would be in "consequence of a colossal fit in my glass, the taste of which made me of indigestion," and, indeed, the Chancellor suspicious. When the butler again passed had frequently exposed himself to danger in around the table I tried to get a look at the this respect. Once he remarked that he was | label on the bottle, but this was impossible, very fond of “hard-boiled eggs, though now for a napkin had been wrapped around it. I (in 1870) he could only manage three; but then turned to the emperor to inquire the the time was when he could make away with name of that particular brand, when his eleven.” “In our family," he said upon majesty blurted out that it was indeed some another occasion, “we are all great eaters. German champagne-Deutscher Schaumwein. If there were many in the country with 'Yes,' the emperor said, 'I drink it from such capacity, the state could not exist. I motives of economy, as I have a large fam- should have to emigrate." And again, “If ily, and I have strongly recommended it to I am to work well, I must be well fed. I can my officers for the same reason. Then I also make no proper peace if they do not give me drink it from patriotic motives. Thereupon proper food and drink; that's part of my I said to the emperor, 'With me patriotism stops at the region of the stomach,' meaning “Lieber Otto,” here interposed the Count- of course that patriotism had its seat in the ess Bismarck, "you must not touch that dish; heart.”—WHITMAN in Harper's Magazine, it is not good for your stomach in its present November, 1898. nervous state." "Ladies," replied the count, He had always been a great eater, a deep as he motioned away the proffered dish, drinker and a heavy smoker. In his earlier “have you ever seen so fine an example of the days he had been, indeed, what the Germans obedient husband ?” “Well, countess," threw call a "chain smoker”-a species of the weed- in Prince Putbus, "you have the happiness consuming genus whose morning and night to be the only one, apart from the king, to whom our Iron Count submits.” “Oh, no," are connected with a cable of cigars, each link of which is lighted at the stump of its rejoined the countess, “there is still another to whom Otto sometimes bows.” “And who predecessor. Bismarck once related that in is this powerful person?” “Well, you will this way he had, for example, smoked all the way from Cologne to Berlin, a railway jour- never guess; it is—the cook.” “Ah, yes,” ob- ney of about ten hours. "Happy man,” once served Bismarck, “it is surprising what a man will do to enjoy peace in his own sighed Gambetta to a friend who was talk- house, after having had a thorough taste of ing to him about the German Chancellor; "happy man, beer and smoke agree with war." him.” But the time came when he could “I have received so many presents of not even look at a cigar. “I have not given wine," said the Chancellor once to some up cigars," he once said; "it is they who guests, "that I am afraid I shall not be able have given me up.”—POSCHINGER. to drink it all in this world. I grudge my heirs nothing except my wine cellar.”— Humor of Later Days POSCHINGER. Two years ago an English friend of Bismarck's philosophy of eating and Prince Bismarck applied to him in behalf of drinking is striking evidence of the man's) a lady for his autograph, and the prince re- character. "I have often regretted what I plied direct to the lady in his own hand: have eaten," said he, “but never what I have “Dear Lady - I have the greatest objec- Irunk.” “But have you not been the worse tions to giving my autograph and never do for it?” Then Bismarck described his creed so. Very truly yours, Bismarck.”—The about potations by declaring, "I did not say Athenæum, July 5, 1890. I had not been the worse for them; I said I never regretted them.”—Blackwood's Mag- In 1871, after Odo Russell had succeeded azine, May, 1911, quoting Viscount Goschen. Lord Augustus Loftus as ambassador to Ber- lin, he and Lady Emily attended a party Somebody thereupon mentioned that Ger. | where they met Count Bismarck. Lady Em- Bismarck 62 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ily was sitting beside the great man, when ly," answered the prince, with a wink; “I he suddenly said to her, “Never in my life could not verbally have told him the truth in was I more glad to hear anything than when so blunt a manner; it is better that he should I heard of your father's [Earl of Clarendon's) read it.” When Kalnocky subsequently ap- death.” Lady Emily was naturally taken peared at the table the prince remarked very aback by such an extraordinary speech and nonchalantly: "Mr. von Brauer has been showed it, whereupon Bismarck, patting her scolding me, and that very properly, because I hand, said, “Ah, dear lady, you must not take gave you those reports. I had forgotten some it like that. What I mean is that if your very uncomplimentary notes which you father had lived, he would have prevented the doubtless found in the margins. After the war."-MAXWELL. mischief has been done I can only ask your They were passing near the nest of a pardon for being too straightforward with stork, where two male birds were quarreling you. You were not offended? And then," he about a female. “I see,” said Bismarck to added with a smile at Kalnocky's laughing Aegidi, who was watching the quarrel of the mien, "perhaps it was better you should have birds with some interest, "you are fond of my unvarnished opinion on the subject.” The French novels, or you would not follow so incident proved very useful. Kalnocky was intensely the marital drama which is going so delighted over the marginal criticisms of on up there."--POSCHINGER. the conduct of his colleague Crispi that he ignored those relative to himself. He and Lord Odo Russell, British ambassador at Bismarck parted the best of friends.-BRAUER. the Prussian court, visited Bismarck one day at his residence in William street. During I remarked that it was a strange fact the conversation Lord Russell suggested that that the population of wine-growing countries a man of Bismarck's prominence was undoubt- were usually moderate drinkers. “Yes,” Bis. edly the victim of many annoying visits. “But marck said, “this is indeed a wonderful dis- you probably have some drastic means to end pensation of Providence. For where wines such annoyances?" inquired Russell. “Yes, grow people are usually 'half seas over' by certainly,” replied Bismarck; "one of the nature, and if they were given to drink as most effective is to get my wife to call for | well they would soon be perfectly mad."- me on any convenient pretext. Of course that WHITMAN. is enough to end any visit.” Just then the “Tut,” said his majesty one day, "look at princess entered and said in a most innocent me. I am a much older man than you are, manner: "Otto, you know it is time for Bismarck, yet I am still able to ride." "Ah, your medicine; do not forget it.” Lord Rus yes," rejoined the Chancellor, “but then your sell recognized the humor of the situation, majesty must remember that a rider always burst into a loud laugh, and took his depar- lasts longer than his horse." ture.-LIMAN. “Don't you know," said the prince, “that To Professor Lenbach, who in parting whenever there are three Germans there are from him after his eightieth birthday said always four opinions? But perhaps it was a he trusted that Bismarck might have many wise thing of Providence to have thus infect- happy years in store for him, he replied, "My ed the Germans with such a passion for con- dear Lenbach, the first eighty years of a trariety, seeing that, if united in everything, man's life are always the happiest.”—WHIT such fellows as they would lift the whole Man in Harper's Magazine, November, 1898. world off its hinges.” The Italian minister had complained bit- Bismarck and Beust took a long drive to terly to Bismarck about Kalnocky. The | Klesheim. “I remained of course perfectly Chancellor had made some very severe re impassive to the cheers of the people,” wrote marks concerning the matter under advise Beust, "leaving the honors entirely to the il- ment on the margin of the reports and he sent lustrious visitor, who acknowledged them for these reports when he was discussing the sorts when he was discussing the | with unusual cordiality by military salutes. matter with Kalnocky. When I inquired as He said to me, 'I have arranged these things to the result of the conference the Chancellor | very well. In the days when people used to answered quietly: "I gave him the reports for hiss me, I wore civilian clothes and had no his perusal.” "But, your excellency," I cried, occasion to take off my hat, while now, when badly frightened, “there are all sorts of plain they cheer me, I wear a uniform and need remarks of yours on the margins; in one only touch my head.”—POSCHINGER. place you characterized Kalnocky's doings as When, towards the end of our meeting, in silly, and you made similar remarks not in- fact as we were about to part, I told him tended for the eyes of Austrians," "Certain- | that some people had paid me the high com. 63 Bismarck OF THE GREAT pliment of calling me the Bismarck of the particulars about the condition of the Secre- East, the prince tried to look serious, as if tary of State. It was really touching to studying my meaning. Then he smiled under | watch the count and countess each trying to his bushy eyebrows and whispered to Captain persuade the other that there were no grounds Rifſbach (who spoke the best Mandarin for apprehension. Suddenly the countess en- Chinese I ever heard a man use), "Tell histered with a telegram in her hand and hur- excellency that the French would not con ried into her husband's room. I heard her sider that a compliment at all.” Of course, cry out, “Here is the answer from Athens," I understood and we shook hands over the and then the door closed. My secretary en- agreement that the French did not love Bis tered immediately afterwards in a state of marck at all.-LI HUNG CHANG, “Memoirs." excitement. I demanded to know why the He described universal suffrage as "the telegram had not been delivered to me ac- government of the house by its nursery”; but, cording to the rules. He explained to me that he added, "you can do anything with chil- after he had decoded the telegram he was on dren if you only play with them.” Some one his way to my office when he met the coun- observed, “You can make a mob cry anything tess, who had been lying in wait for him on by paying a few men among them a groschen the staircase; she had snatched the telegram apiece to start the shouting." "No, you need from him and read it. What I apprehended not waste your groschen," demurred the Pre- took place. The count entered my room in a mier, “there are always asses enough to bray very angry mood. A serious neglect of duty gratis." had taken place. The secretary, in violation of the rules of the secret service, had handed A doctrinaire politician advanced a very an official telegram to a private person and it paradoxical statement at Bismarck's dinner was necessary that drastic measures should table, and one of the guests set himself to be taken against the guilty official. I did my refute it. "Pray do not trouble yourself,” utmost to allay the anger of the count, fully suggested the premier; "if you only have pa- explaining the matter to him. At first he in- tience for two or three minutes the learned sisted that there was no excuse for the offi- Herr Professor will contradict himself in the cial, who should have defended himself most brilliant manner."--PosCHINGER. against all attempts to take from him an offi- cial document. “But, your excellency," I Domestic Affairs said smiling, “what should the poor fellow At times Prince Bismarck amuses him- have done? He certainly could not have used self by reading aloud with visible gusto some force against the countess." The count looked of the gross abuse of which he has so often at me very angrily. “Old women make poor been the object in certain organs of the press. officials," he growled as he left the room. Princess Bismarck is not always in the humor Whether the imputation of old women and to appreciate with equal zest the intellectual poor officials was intended for me or for my treat. Now and then she is so carried away secretary has never been determined. The as to express her displeasure rather forcibly. incident had ended. At any rate the con- On such an occasion a visitor once ventured tents of the telegram gave no cause for alarm to say to the prince at table how much he | and Count Herbert soon recovered.-BRAUER. was to be envied the possession of so loyal a champion. The speaker received no reply, When one of his guests suggested that he but something very much like a tear glisten must have had a happy life, he replied: "How ing in Bismarck's eye told that he had heard do you define happiness? I have been very the remark.-WHITMAN in Pall Mall Maga seldom happy. Were I to add together all zine, November, 1893. the minutes when I was wholly happy the The oldest son Herbert accompanied the total would not amount to twenty-four hours." emperor on his trip to the East. Both father He then told that happiness came to him first when he shot his first rabbit-that lasted a and mother were very much out of humor if a single day passed without intelligence from very few seconds; the next occasion was when Herbert, and consequently there was a great he made his declaration of love. Then he deal of worry and consternation when a tele- spoke in a most impressive manner of the gram was received from Athens to the effect affection of his deceased wife.--LIMAN. that Herbert was under the care of a physi- The Philosopher cian on account of a slight accident that had happened to him when about to board a It was a dull, gray morning in Novem- steamer. I had to telegraph at once to the ber; the prince was standing near the mois- consul at Athens demanding full and true ture.covered window when he remarked: “As Bismarck 64 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES I was getting up this morning the thought “What? What? but Gambetta is in very good occurred to me that it is certainly remarkable health; his vitality and endurance are won- that the sun is regarded as a divinity by peo derful; he is the very picture of strength and ple who suffer the most from it. All wor health.” Bismarck continues: “I am not shipers of the sun and fire live in the hot speaking thoughtlessly. I know by secret climates: the Assyrians, the Phoenicians, the reports exactly what sort of life your great Persians. Such a cult has never suggested man leads and I know his habits. Well, his itself to the people of the North. Yet in this life is a life of continual overwork. He rests climate we have more cause for gratitude neither night nor day. At night he works at and pleasure, here where we so seldom see his newspaper, by day he is at the Chamber, the sun, than where the burning heat of the attending commissions, either in the provinces sun causes danger and destruction. The old or abroad. Here he makes a speech; there he Germans worshiped thunder and lightning, tries to recommence old alliances. All the but not the sun." The prince paused and | political men who have led the same lives then, as if he had been meditating on the sub have died young. Your Mirabeau is the most ject, he added, "and this shows the analogy celebrated example. To be able to serve one's between mankind and dogs. Both love and country for a long time one must marry an honor whatever they stand in fear of." old woman, have children like the rest of the BRAUER. world, a country place or a house to one's At the table one day the conversation self, like any common peasant, where one can drifted to the doings of William Tell, a char- go and rest, nurse one's colds, wait calmly for acter Bismarck, even as a child, did not like, the moment of action, and hide one's self from the bores and the rulers of the day. because he had shot at his child and then killed Gessler in a treacherous manner. "It Look at M. Thiers! his career as a statesman would have been more natural and more has been the most beautiful career imaginable noble," he said, “if he had shot the tyrant, and he was not a star. Your Gambetta is certainly an easier mark than the apple. That burning the candle at both ends; that is my would have been justifiable in his anger at opinion. He had much better marry and the cruel demand. I did not like his lying settle down in the country. Tell him that from me, for after all I rather like him. He in wait and his surreptitious conduct-that was not to be expected of a hero—not even of is the only man whose intentions I know at the present moment. At least he and I a Franc-tireur.”—LIMAN. know what we want and, if he has so quickly Gambetta must certainly have had secret and unexpectedly raised up France, I can- relations with Bismarck, which the press sus. not be personally angry with him, any more pected, but was never able to prove. It is not than I can resent his mad dream of recon- our business to prove the fact here. Their quering Alsare and Lorraine. So, as one communications were sometimes arranged by man to another, I personally recommend to a discreet unofficial medium, one of Gambet him this practical advice, which the Princess ta's devoted friends, M. Cheberry, who for Bismarck would also give him, like the good many years had done considerable business in housekeeper that she is.”—LAUR. French wines with the German, Russian and Austrian courts. He constantly visited his Among the German universities there powerful clients, Hohenlohe, Bismarck and was considerable discussion as to the proper the emperor's circle, the Russian grand dukes, Latin phraseology in diplomas, as to the etc. One day, at Varzin, in 1878, at Prince use of the phrase, “During the reign of Wil- liam, German emperor, king of Prussia," Bismarck's house, after having taken the Chancellor's usual order for fine champagne etc. The German professors quarreled over this matter with their usual thoroughness and (which, by the way, usually amounted to two thousand francs), M. Cheberry purposely pertinacity. Some insisted on using "Ger. mentioned Gambetta, the high position he had maniae Imperator”; others claimed that won for himself in the country, and the prog- “Germanorum Imperator” was the proper ress made in the reorganization of France form. Some even defended the phrase "Im- under his direct and indirect impulse. “I perator Germanicus” (properly “Conqueror of know, I know,” Bismarck interrupts, rather the Germans"). Even “Imperator German- annoyed at this panegyric. "He is the only us" was proposed. The matter was finally left one among you who thinks of revenge and to the decision of the German Minister of who is at all a menace to Germany, but he Culture. Herr von Goszler reported to Fried- will not last much longer.” M. Cheberry richsruh, as in matters of this kind the coop- starts violently on hearing this assertion. eration of the Chancellor was desirable. Bis- 65 Bismarck OF THE GREAT marck's decision was simple and to the point: | of more important matters that the very name In the first place the universities ought to of the person I was about to present passed use good German instead of Latin; he saw no from my memory. When that was the case I reason at all why a Latin heading was at all usually put a bold face on it and, there necessary. In the second place, there was no being no time to inquire after names, I reason why the name of the country of their bluntly presented a man I did not know as own sovereign need be mentioned, but if it “Count Solms." You see, there are so many were absolutely necessary that Latin should Count Solms that the king could not possibly be used, then the Prussian high schools should know them all by sight. On the other hand, confine themselves to a simple "Imperator et a man whose name might be Mueller or Rex," and those beyond the confines of Prus Schultze was not likely to take it very much sia, "Imperator, Borussiae Rex.” But, in amiss if he were presented as Count Solms, order that he might not be charged with hav which, after all, is a good family name. I ing dodged the issue, he added that the got out of my difficulty in this manner on phrase “Germanorum Imperator" seemed to more than one occasion and it never failed." him the best.–BRAUER. -WHITMAN. “What do you do when you are angry?" Deepening Shadows he asked; “I do not believe that you have as Bismarck in his old age summed it all many causes for anger as I have." "Only the up by saying: “During the last three hundred stupidity of mankind," I replied; "never their years I have no ancestor who has not fought wickedness." "Do you not find that there is against France."—WHITE. a great deal of relief obtained by smashing something?” “It is certainly a good thing One evening, at Varzin, after contemplat- that you are not in my position," I replied, ing for a while the darkening horizon, he “or there would not be a whole piece of fur: complained to us that he had derived little niture in the house." "I remember once pleasure or satisfaction from his political when I was over there”-pointing to the labors, which had won for him no friends, apartments of the Emperor William—“some which had brought happiness to no one, either thing occurred that exasperated me; I left the to himself, his family, or to others. We ex- room, slamming the door after me; I re pressed dissent, but he went on to say that tained the key in my hand; I entered Lehn "on the contrary, they had made many un- dorff's room and threw the key violently into happy. But for me three great wars would the wash-basin, breaking the latter to pieces. not have occurred, eighty thousand men would 'My God,' said Lehndorff, "are you ill?' 'I not have fallen in battle, and parents, broth- have been ill; now I am well again.”— ers, sisters, widows would not have mourned." LIMAN. "Nor sweethearts," some one added. "Nor sweethearts," he repeated in monotone. "That, He said: "Hatred is as great an incentive however, I have settled with God. Still, I to life as love is. The two factors that have have reaped little or no happiness from all I beautified my life are my wife and Wind- have done; but on the contrary, much vexa- horst-the former representing love and the tion, anxiety, weariness and ill usage." He latter hatred.”—SCHWENINGER. continued for a time in the same strain. The When his majesty [William I.] opposed rest of us were silent and I was surprised. me, not from his own convictions, but as the Subsequently I learned that of late years he result of repeated feminine pressure, I could had repeatedly expressed himself to the same see what had happened, for his arguments effect.-Busch in The North American Re- were not to the point and illogical. When he view, August, 1880. could not find any more arguments against Last year, when Bismarck's favorite dog what I had said, then he would end the dis- Sultan was dying, he watched beside the poor cussion with the expression: “By the thou- animal with such manifestly deep sorrow that sand, then I must plead earnestly.” Then I Count Herbert, the prince's eldest son, at last knew that I had met, not the emperor, but his endeavored to get his father away. The wife.-BISMARCK, “Thoughts and Recollec- prince took a few steps towards the door, tions." but, on looking back, his eyes met those of Concerning the more harmless incidents his old friend. “No; leave me alone,” he of court life Bismarck related the following: | said, and returned to poor Sultan. When "It was occasionally my function to present the dog was dead Bismarck turned to a all sorts of people to the king, and it now friend who was standing by and said: and then happened that my head was so full "Those old German forefathers of ours had Bismarck Blaine, James G. 66 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES a kind of religion. They believed that after dinner all to ourselves.” Mr. Sellers was death they would meet in the celestial hunt willing and the two lawyers started off on ing-grounds all the good dogs that had been their walk. They went down the river, up to their faithful companions for life. I wish State street, around the capitol grounds, I could believe that."-Blackwood's Maga through several other streets until Mr. Sel- zine, August, 1878. lers began to get very hungry and suggested On one occasion he expressed himself to that it was about time for that dinner. The judge stopped with a puzzled expression on Herr von Poschinger with regard to the doc- his face and finally, bringing his large hand trine of metem psychosis--a doctrine in which down on his knee with a whack, exclaimed: Count Moltke was also deeply interested. "By George, Sellers, that restaurant is in With Bismarck it may have been only a fleet- Baltimore.”--Albany Law Journal, November ing, fanciful thought-as Herr von Poschinger 28, 1891. assures me it was—but what Bismarck said on the occasion was eminently characteristic BLAINE, James Gillespie, 1830-1893. Amer. of the man. “If I had to choose the form in ican statesman. which I should have to live again,” he said, “I The Democrats bethought themselves of Mr. am not sure that I should not like to be an Blaine's [Ephraim L., father of James G.] ant. You see that little creature lives in a Roman Catholic wife, and they brought state of perfect political organization; every against him, as political enemies afterwards one of them is obliged to work-lead a use- brought against his son, the accusation that ful life-every one is industrious. There are he himself was a Catholic. Neither father nor complete subordination, discipline and order son ever repudiated the charge in such a way among the ants. They are happy, for they as to imply that he regarded it as injurious. work.”—WHITMAN in Harper's Magazine, Ephraim Blaine's method was characteristic. November, 1898. He called upon his friend, Father Murphy, Whenever I go into a wood it makes me the priest in charge of the church his wife at- sad to think how badly we treat our dead. tended, and obtained from him this novel cer- We put them away into the cold, dark earth, tificate, which settled the question and con- where no rays of the sun can ever reach tributed a touch of humor to the campaign, them. When I die I would wish my remains whether or not it helped Mr. Blaine at the to be suspended in a hammock between two polls: “This is to certify that Ephraim L. trees, up high and free in the air. I should Blaine is not now and never was a member of certainly prefer to be eaten by birds than by the Catholic Church; and, furthermore, in black bugs.--BISMARCK, to Eicksted-Peters- my opinion he is not fit to be a member of waldt. any church."--EDWARD STANWOOD, “James Gillespie Blaine." Bigmarck pointed up to two stately pine trees in front of us. “There, up in mid-air, The late John F. Edmonds, of Hopkins. between those trees, I should like to find rest, ville, Kentucky, a gentleman of fine culture where the sunlight and fresh air can still get and popularity in the Southwest, relates that at me. The idea of being shut down, sulfo- Professor Blaine stood bravely by him in cated in a bandbox, has its terrors.”_WIIT- trouble while he was a college boy at the Mili- MAN. tary Institute. “I shall never forget his manly, generous friendship,” remarked that BLACK, Jeremiah Sullivan, 1810-1883. gentleman. “I was involved in a difficulty. American statesman. with a boy belonging to a wealthy and influ- Attorney-General Hensel tells a good story ential family, and in the course of the quarrel about the late Jeremiah S. Black. Judge | he applied a vulgar epithet to my mother, for Black and David W. Sellers had just com- | which I knocked him down. I was arraigned pleted an argument before the Supreme Court before the faculty, sharply reproved for violat- at Harrisburg, where they had appeared on ing college rules and threatened with disgrace opposite sides, when the former discovered if I did not make an ample apology. The that he could not get a train for home before faculty were all against me except Professor evening, although Sellers could have come to Blaine. He arose and with much warmth of Philadelphia almost immediately. “Now, feeling said that he could not withhold his Sellers,” said Judge Black, “there is a nice | sympathy for a boy when love and reverence restaurant down the street here. Suppose for his mother had involved him in trouble. you and I take a walk down the river to get | 'This boy,' said he, "only resented a foul in- up an appetite and about four o'clock we'll / sult to his mother. What boy of manliness go to this restaurant and have a nice quiet and honor, especially with the peculiar train- 67 Bismarck Blaine, James G. OF THE GREAT ing of a Kentucky boy, would not resent such said Butler. “Yes, he is just announcing the an insult more quickly than an insult offered committees.” Butler rushed into the House to himself? I will not only not consent to in time to hear Mr. Dawes's name read by the censure him, but I say that I think he did clerk as chairman of the Appropriations. He right, and that I feel more like praising than was very angry and bided his time.-GEORGE reproaching him. This brief, magnetic F. HOAR in Scribner's Magazine, April, 1899. speech worked like magic on the minds of the Great was his power of ridicule, as the faculty and the offender was turned loose with few who ventured to expose themselves to his a gentle admonition.”-WALTER R. HOUGHTON, withering sarcasm learned to their cost. How “Blaine and Logan.” many apt nicknames he invented for his po- His first public speeches were numerous. litical opponents! Early in his career, in- Soon after coming to Augusta he went with a censed at Conkling's overbearing manner and large party to Farmington, where William excessive pomposity, he applied to him the Pitt Fessenden was to speak. It was one of epithet of "turkey gobbler.” Senator Conk- the earliest Franklin county mass meetings of ling was asked if he would ever forgive the Republicans. Fessenden was not there Blaine. "Never,” he replied, "so long as mem- and the committee came to the Augusta dele- ory finds a place in this distracted brain of gation and asked if they had any speaker. mine.” Cox, of New York, owed to Blaine Some one said that there was a young man his sobriquet of “Sunset” and “Dewdrop," named Blaine there who had just come to and Blaine has also been charged with de- town and who spoke well at caucuses. He scribing Butler as a "lamentably successful was called on and modestly stated that Fes- cross between a fox and hog.”-New York senden was away and that he had accepted Herald, January 28, 1893. the invitation so that they might hear Re- Blaine was one day in New York and publican doctrines instead of no speech. He somebody asked him how matters were going then likened his situation to that of a farmer with the new administration. "Things at in New Hampshire who had a fast horse which Washington remind me," said Mr. Blaine, "of he thought was worth $500. A jockey tried my experience years ago on a fishing excur- it and offered $75. The owner thought it over sion. We made up a party in Augusta to go for a few minutes and then said: “It's a devil to Moosehead Lake; we were to camp out and of a drop, but I'll take it." The aptness of the work of the camp was to be performed the story and the manner of the speaker cap by the members of the party in turn. We tivated the audience and his speech was pro- drew lots to decide who should be cook and nounced the best of the year.-GAIL HAMIL- before doing so it was agreed that the first TON, “Biography of James G. Blaine.” man who found fault with the table should be Butler pressed eagerly his own claim for installed in the office and the original cuise- the chairmanship of the Appropriations. nier relieved. The man upon whom the lot Blaine was altogether too shrewd to yield to fell determined to make his term of service as that. The committees were not appointed short as possible and the very first day he put until the following December. Butler sus- about a pound of salt into the soup kettle. pected somehow that he was not to get the When we sat down to dinner the first man coveted prize. He accordingly went to the who tasted the soup exclaimed, 'How salt the door of the Speaker's room, which was then soup is ... but I like it, I like it,' he add- opposite the door of the House of Representa- ed almost in the same breath, and proceeded tives, by the side of the Speaker's chair. He to work rapidly with his spoon until he had found Blaine's messenger keeping the door, swallowed every drop of the brine."--THOMAS who told him Mr. Blaine was engaged and | W. Knox, “Lives of Blaine and Logan.” could not see anybody. “Very well,” said His light and half incredulous way of General Butler, “I will wait.” Accordingly looking at his own prospects is illustrated by he took a chair and seated himself by the an incident of the time. One day he waved door, so that he might intercept Blaine as he a telegram, just received, laughingly, with the came out. Blaine, learning that Butler was remark: “Oregon has elected delegates for there, went out the window, round by the me, and as Maine also is for me it only re- portico, and entered the House by another en- mains for my friends to fill up the little gap trance. Somebody came along and, seeing between them.”---EDWARD STANWOOD, “James Butler seated in the corridor, said, “What are Gillespie Blaine.” you about, General ?” “Waiting for Blaine,” was the reply. “Blaine is in the chair in the It would be difficult, if not impossible, to House," was the answer. "It isn't possible,” | cite a single incident during the present ad- Blaine, James G. Blücher 68 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ministration where the ex-Secretary of State of his wounds, to be buried with all military has been punctual at a state dinner. On one honors—an attention to the fallen so unusual occasion, after waiting twenty minutes in the as to excite the greatest astonishment among East room, where the guests were assembled, the French inhabitants, who were further the president despatched a carriage for the edified when he administered with his own tardy cabinet officer. The climax in this re hand an exemplary thrashing to the village spect was reached during the season of 1891, carpenter who had given short measure and when, after waiting half an hour, during bad workmanship in the coffin.—Quarterly which messengers sped back and forth be Review, September, 1842. tween the White House and the red brick Among the prisoners (near Kaiserslauten, house on Lafayette square, word finally came 1799] was one whose thighbone had been that the feast would have to proceed without shattered. They had laid him near the fire the important guest, as he had suddenly and offered him bread and brandy, as to the changed his mind and decided to dine with others. He not only rejected this, but re- Senator Hale.—New York Times, January 30, 1893. fused to be bandaged and repeatedly begged a bystander to shoot him. The latter said When Mr. Blaine went to London he had to another: "This is an obstinate, sulky a very particular dislike for Lord Salisbury, Frenchman.” Muelling and myself were who was then Foreign Minister. He was within hearing and approached the group. asked, as any visitor of distinction would be, The wounded man lay still, drawn into him- to the Foreign Office party given by Lady self, and saw nothing of what was passing. Salisbury as wife of the Foreign Minister. He As he seemed to shiver, I caused cloaks to be refused to go. “I have attacked Lord Robert heaped on him. He looked up at me on this Cecil,” said the late Secretary of State, "in and then again cast down his eyes. Not be- terms which make it unfit for me to be his ing master of the French language myself, I guest.” He refused for the same reason to made my adjutant tell him that he ought to meet Lord Salisbury privately.-GEORGE W. allow himself to be bandaged and to take SMALLEY in McClure's Magazine, May, 1902. nourishment. He answered nothing and I made them tell him further that I held him BLÜCHER, Gebhard Leberecht, 1742-1819. for a poor creature who did not know how to German field-marshal. meet his destiny and that it became a soldier The Poles at this time, like the Spaniards least of all men to take refuge in despair and in ours, revenged by frequent assassination that he should not give up the hope of re- their subjection to the invader. A priest, covery and might be assured that he found whom Blücher suspected as the instigator of himself among men who would do everything two of these enormities, was summarily con possible to relieve him. He looked at me demned by him to military execution. The again, a stream of tears burst from his eyes grave was dug with the usual formalities, the and he reached me out his hand. Wine was culprit blinded, and the muskets discharged offered him; he drank and offered no further though with blank cartridges. The priest resistance to the surgeon. I then asked him survived his fright, but this daring violation the cause of his previous obstinacy. He re- not only of justice, but of Frederick's con- | plied: "I have been forced into the service of ciliatory policy, was punished, mildly enough, the republic. My father was guillotined; my by the degradation of the offender from the brothers have perished in the war; my wife highest to the lowest on the list of captains and children are left in misery; I thought, in his regiment. This being followed by the therefore, that death alone could end my promotion of an officer from another regiment troubles, and I longed for it. Your kindness to the next vacancy, the cup of Blücher's in: | has brought me to better reflections. I thank dignation boiled over and he demanded his you for it and am determined to meet my fu- retirement from the service. Frederick re ture lot with patience.”—BLÜCHER, "Jour- plied by placing him in arrest, with a view | nal.” to give him time for consideration. The gen- tleman, however, insisted and his repeated ap. Marshal Blücher, though a very fine fel- low, was a very rough diamond, with the plications at length extorted the following answer: "Captain von Blücher is released manners of a common soldier. On his arrival in Paris he went every day to the salon and from this service and may go to the devil.- played the highest stakes at rouge-et-noir. January, 1773." The salon, during the time that the marshal While commanding within their frontier | remained in Paris, was crowded by persons he caused a captured officer, who had died who came to see him play. His manners of 69 Blücher OF THE GREAT G. Blaine, James playing were anything but gentleman-like Frenchman and deplores that such an event and when he lost he used to swear in German should have happened to him in his old age. at everything that was French, looking dag. He does not so much mind being with child, gers at the croupiers. He generally managed but cannot reconcile himself to the thought to lose all the cash he had about him, also that he of all the people in the world-- all the money his servant, who was waiting should be destined to give birth to a French- in an ante-chamber, carried with him. I man. On every other subject Blücher is said recollect looking attentively at the manner in to be quite rational. This particular form of which he played: he would put his right hand madness shows the bent of his mind, so that, into his pocket and take out several rouleaus while we laugh, our hearts reproach us. The of napoleons, throwing them on the red or Duke of Wellington assures us that he knows the black. If he won the first coup, he would | this to be a fact.-LADY SHELLEY, "Diary." allow it to remain; but when the croupier What Did Blücher Say? stated that the table was not responsible for Forty and odd years ago I heard more more than ten thousand francs, then Blücher than once, from the lips of a German diplo- would roar like a lion and rap out oaths in matist who was in England with Blücher in his native language, which would doubtless 1814, that the Prussian marshal, struck as have met with great success at Billingsgate, if he rode through the streets with the show in duly translated; fortunately they were not heeded, as they were not understood by the our London shop windows, exclaimed: "My lookers-on.—CAPTAIN REES HOWELL GRONOW, God, what a town to sack!”... Blücher, on looking on London from St. Paul's, is said "Recollections." to have exclaimed: “W'as fuer Pluender!” i.e., Old Blücher is the only one who shows what lumber, what a confused mass (of build- no fortitude. He posts his servant in the ings). If the old warrior had meant plunder ante-room, with his pockets full of gold, and in the English sense of the word, he would the old field-marshal trots backwards and for have expressed himself differently.Notes wards between the ante-room and the green and Queries, July 12, 1879. table until he has lost his last, his very last, It is clear that if Blücher said, “Was crown, when he withdraws noisily, swearing fuer Pluender!” his words must have been like a trooper, insulting the croupiers and devoid of the slightest ambiguity to every cursing France and the French in his abomin- German, for the only possible meaning would able Teuton patois.-- ROGER BOUTET DE MENE- be, “What rubbish!” But that the Germans VAL, "Eminent English Men and Women in do not understand him to have said this, and Paris.” do understand him as we have always under- When the University of Oxford made the stood him, is evident from what his great- king and emperor doctors, they also included grandson, Prince Blücher of Wahlstadt, is Metternich and Blücher in the honors. Blü reported in the Times to have said in answer, cher characteristically remarked: "You ought viz., that “the idea had been expressed only to make Gneisenau apothecary, for he has in jest." There can be no doubt, therefore, worked the pills for me; we two always go that Blücher did not say, “Was fuer Pluen- together.”—G. B. SMITH, “William I.” der!” But what were his exact words? This I cannot say; but the version given in Her- When messengers were despatched to mann, is “Das waere die Stadt zum plucn- Blücher in his retirement, with the stirring dern!” (That would be the city to sack.)-F. tidings of the escape of "the man of a thou- CHANCE, in Notes and Queries, June 27, 1891. sand thrones," from his island prison, they My father was present as a Christ Church found the marshal-believing he had been transformed chorister at the grand banquet given at Ox- into an elephant-exercising ford to the prince regent and all the royal himself by running around the room, the floor and military personages who visited Oxford of which was covered with sawdust. How- after the peace of 1814, and Blücher was ever, they told their tale. The name Na- among them. His speech was repeated every- poleon acted like a charm upon the rough where and the received acceptation would and tough old warrior; the cloud passed from surely have been contradicted if it were not his mind; Blücher was himself again, ready the true one. Of course, it was in a certain to go anywhere and do anything.– sense a joke; but, after all, much the same Chambers's Journal, January 2, 1875. was said by the Germans who accompanied We laughed at poor Blücher's strange Richard I. on his return from captivity: hallucination, which, though ludicrous, is very "Had our emperor known the riches of Lon- sad. He fancies himself with child by a don, your ransom, o king, would have been Bonaparto Family Bonaparte, Joseph WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES much larger."-CHARLOTTE G. Boger, in Notessary. So greatly did the blood of Napoleon and Queries, November 21, 1891. trouble the Allies, even when it flowed in other veins than his.” When Minister of The Bonaparte family. Foreign Affairs, Chateaubriand, in spite of Among the many fabulous tales that treaties, sent a passport with his signature have been published respecting the origin of alone to Queen Julie (wife of Joseph Bona- the name Bonaparte, there is one which, parte), who wanted to go to see one of her from its ingeniousness and romantic charac- sick relatives, and later when he was am- ter, seems deserving of notice. It is said bassador at Rome he showed his independence that “The Man in the Iron Mask” was no by inviting Cardinal Fesch to his table along other than the twin (and elder) brother of with the other cardinals. But his conduct Louis XIV.; that his keeper's name was Bon- was quite exceptional. No other minister part; that that keeper had a daughter, with or ambassador cared, or dared, to imitate whom the Man in the Mask fell in love, and him. His predecessor at Rome had even or- to whom he was privately married; that dered his servants to throw Cardinal Fesch their children received their mother's name down the stairs if he presented himself at and were secretly conveyed to Corsica, where the embassy. The Bonapartes found endless the name was converted into Bonaparte or difficulties in their way when they wanted Bonna parte, and that one of those children to travel from one place to another. They was the ancestor of Napoleon Bonaparte, who could never all meet together at one place, was thus entitled to be recognized not only their residences being purposely widely dis- as of French origin, but as the direct descend- tributed. If they had a rendezvous it was ant of the rightful heir to the throne of Rome, where Madame Mère, “the mother of France.—Notes and Queries, February 5, 1853. all the Bonapartes," resided. She had been By the final fall of the Empire, the Bona- | kindly received by the Pope, Pious VII., and partes were condemned to live a rather pre- | most of her children were allowed to go and carious and unnatural life. “There is no see her from time to time. But when she was justice in France for the Bonapartes,” Louis | dying and desired to see the four children XVIII. is reported to have replied to the who remained to her, only one was able Duc de Richelieu, who was supporting cer to be present. Louis, it is true, was ill at tain demands made by Queen Catherine, wife Florence, but neither Joseph nor Caroline, of Jerome. They were far from being penni: in spite of reiterated demands and prayers, less, however, and the stories of Louis Napo could obtain the requisite authorization. At leon's poverty at any time of his years of her death even the court of Rome, friendly exile have been undoubtedly exaggerated. The as it was to her, insisted that the funeral cer- surveillance by the governments of Europe, emony should be of extreme simplicity, in however, was a continual source of worry deference to the French government, and and annoyance to the proscribed family. would not allow the imperial arms to be They were not allowed to live even outside displayed outside of the church. Not only of France, but the permission of the French were the residences of the members of the government had to be obtained before a family watched, and their journeys and trav. choice of residence was allowed them. When els superintended, but their least acts were they wanted to go out and see one another under control. The five powers had to de- they had to obtain the formal authorization liberate when Eliza wanted a new tutor for of five governments, and it was always pos. her son, and she was not allowed a second sible that this might be refused. At that box at the theater at Trieste when she asked time traveling was only possible by pass | permission. Louis was not allowed to put ports, and it was difficult to elude their ob an inscription on his son's tomb. Joseph, ligations. The Bonapartes had not only to in 1832, was allowed to go and live in Eng. submit to these obligations, but in a highly | land, but nowhere else. Italy was specially aggravated form. Chateaubriand, writing forbidden him because of his facial re- about the position in Europe of the imperial semblance to Napoleon. Indeed, the young family, said, “Diplomatic conventions, formal Louis Napoleon was not far wrong when he treaties, pronouncing the exile of the Bona wrote to his father from Augsburg, where he partes, prescribed even where they had to live had been delayed a fortnight waiting for a and did not permit the ambassador of any passport, “Soon it will be necessary to hold one of the five powers alone to grant a pass a congress when we want to change from port to any relative of the Emperor Na one place to another.”-F. H. CHEETHAM, poleon. The visé of the minister or am, "Louis Napoleon and the Genesis of the Sec- bassador of the four other powers was neces- ond Empire." OF THE GREAT Bonaparte Family Bonaparte, Joseph ers." No true Bonaparte was ever musical. Marengo." Napoleon was wearing it. He Though a Murat as well, I am no exception unbuckled it and handed it to his brother.- to the rule. For one year, when I was A. HILLIARD ATTERIDGE, “Napoleon's Broth- twelve, an Italian prima donna lost her time, and my father spent his money, but no efforts Shortly after Jerome's arrival and be- could make me turn a tune. To this day I am incapable even of singing “Yankee fore the cares of government had been entire- Doodle.”—PRINCESS CAROLINE MURAT, “Vem- ly entrusted to him, he was one day in the garden of the palace, surrounded by the . oirs." chivalrous court his brother had created for BONAPARTE, Jerome, 1784-1860. King of him. His majesty was pleased to be gay, and Westphalia. the weather, in the first days of spring, being Jerome, one day having spent all his quar: inviting, his majesty proposed a game of leap- ter's pocket money in advance, and urgently frog, and in order to excel-it is the known requiring twenty-five louis, did not know character of the Bonaparte dynasty to excel where to get them. All his brothers were all men in all things—he stripped himself away except the First Consul, whom he dared even to his royal shirt, to facilitate his move- not ask; and his mother, fond as she was ments. Unhappily the windows of a private of him, was readier with good advice than house overlooked this scene of princely rev- with money. An inspiration came. He went elry and, as his majesty was now an object to his uncle Fesch. The future cardinal had of some curiosity, they were soon filled with a large dinner party that night and asked spectators, who, however, did not, it seems, Jerome to stop. He accepted. After dinner sufficiently approve the feats of royal activ- a move was made to the salon for coffee. See ity. Next morning the house was seized by ing his uncle enter an adjoining room Jerome the king, who thus gave at once a striking followed and, drawing him into a window re- proof of the gravity and justice with which cess, asked for a loan. The abbé did not see he was likely to administer the government, his way to granting the request and was from which the venerable house of Hesse had just been driven, as bigoted, stingy and il- turning to rejoin his guests, when the boy suddenly drew a sword he was wearing. liberal.-Quarterly Review, January, 1820. Fesch was an enthusiastic collector of pictures and had already begun to form a gallery, BONAPARTE, Joseph, 1768-1844. King of which later became celebrated. Pointing to a Naples and Sicily, and of Spain. Van Dyck, Jerome remarked that the rascal In 1825, the ex-king of Spain, who with a in the picture looked as if he were laughing numerous retinue was stopping at the United to insult him and that he must avenge him- States [Saratoga Springs), was present at a self. The agitated priest caught at his arm, dinner party given in his honor by Mr. Henry beseeching him to stop. Jerome mentioned Walton. He was accompanied by his sister, again the twenty-five louis, the uncle gave | Caroline Murat, and his two daughters. way, the sword was sheathed and an embrace Though a king, he looked very much like other followed the bargain. A few days afterwards mortals. His manners, dress and equipage the First Consul was told of the affair and were wholly unassuming, quiet and unpreten- was much amused.-PHILIP W. SERGEANT, tious, as was the case with the ladies of his "Jerome Napoleon.” family. The rank was there and needed no It was the campaign of Marengo, the | demonstration. In the course of the dinner march over the Alps, the dash into the | Bonaparte suddenly turned pale and, with midst of the divided Austrian armies, the the perspiration standing on his forehead, hard-fought battle that was at first all but turned imploringly to his host, gasping out, lost and then won, and won to such decisive “Un chat! Un chat!” “John," said Mr. effect that it made Napoleon master of north | Walton to the waiter, “take away the cat; it ern Italy. After the victory Joseph joined | disturbs this gentleman.” “Cat?" echoed his brother at Milan and they traveled back John; "I can see no cat." The other mem- to Paris together. When the conqueror re bers of the family now joined in the search; turned to his home he found Jerome in a very and at last, sure enough, crouched under the bad temper, still disappointed that he had sideboard, was discovered a little frightened been treated as a mere boy. “Come, make kitten. But it was not until Bonaparte had friends ?” said Napoleon, jestingly humoring lain down for some hours that he recovered him. “Make peace and I will give you some from the prostration into which the presence thing." "What will it be?" "Anything you of the feline had thrown him.-Harper's like.” “Well, give me the sword you wore at | Magazine, August, 1876. Bonaparte, Joseph Bonaparte, Lucien 72 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Joseph was himself a man of little ap hoops, such as were recommended by the parent force of character and his time seems dowagers of the court of Louis XV., accord- to have been largely spent at chess or ing to whom the downfall of morals dated draughts-games at which he had a truly from the time when hair à la Titus and tight- royal objection to being beaten. He had his fitting costumes came into vogue. Madame share, too, of the family peculiarities, and, Bonaparte, the most graceful and best bred while usually kindly and generous, was quick lady of the court, was at the head of the op- tempered and wilful to obstinacy. His exhi. position. She detested constraint and theatri- bitions of temper were sometimes amusingly | cal etiquette. She was often heard to say, childish, as on one occasion when Captain "How all this bores me. I have never a mo. Morgan having been so unwise as to beat him ment to myself. I was born to be the wife three times in succession at backgammon, of a workman.”-A. C. THIBAUDEAU, “Bona- he shut the board in a pet and told his suc parte and the Consulate." cessful opponent to take it out of his sight, “You must see more company, ma mère," for he would never play on it again-a he said to her when First Consul, “not to live promise which he persistently kept, leaving like a citizen's wife-company of another the board in Captain Morgan's possession. sort, befitting your rank. Above all you are MRS. M. F. ARMSTRONG, Scribner's Monthly, not to lay by money,” he added, laughing, well October, 1877. knowing her habits; "you must spend every The story goes that Joseph offered to franc you have." "Then you must give me purchase from Stephen Girard the block from two millions instead of one," she replied, "for Eleventh to Twelfth and Chestnut to Market I must save; it is my nature.”—MINTO EL- streets (Philadelphia). The price was to be LIOT, “Roman Gossip." silver half dollars covering the tract, laid flat. BONAPARTE, Louis, 1778-1846. King of This offer Stephen Girard would accept solely Holland. upon the condition that the half dollars The health of Louis Bonaparte was very should be set on edge.-F. B. LEE, American bad. Since his return from Egypt he had suf- Historical Magazine, March, 1906. fered from frequent attacks of a malady I heard of the death of Prince Joseph which had so weakened his legs and his hands Bonaparte at Rome a few days ago. At the that he walked with difficulty, and was stiff conclusion of the funeral ceremonies-that is, in every joint. Every remedy known to after the coffin of the prince had been de science was tried in vain. Corvisart, who was posited in the family vault-the maître d'hô. medical attendant to the whole family, ad. tel of the defunct walked up to the coffin and vised him to try, as a last resort, a disgust- said in a grave tone: “Vostra Altezza non ing remedy. He imagined that a violent erup- comando viente?” (What are your high tion of the skin would perhaps draw out the ness's orders?) No reply issuing from the poison which had defied other treatment. It coffin, the maître d'hôtel backed out and, on was therefore decided that in the state bed reaching the portico of the church, shouted of Louis, under its embroidered canopy, to the coronetted carriages without, “Tornate should be spread the hospital sheets of some a casa, sua altezza non comando niente!” patient suffering from the itch; and his im. (Home, his highness has given no orders.) perial highness placed himself between them, The custom dates from the fifteenth century. and even put on the sick man's nightshirt. -ANTHONY B. NORTH PEAT, "Gossip from Louis, who wished to hide this experiment Paris.” from every one, insisted that nothing should be changed in the habits of his wife. They BONAPARTE, Letitia, 1750-1836. Mother usually slept in the same room, though not in of Napoleon Bonaparte. the same bed; he had always obliged her to Most foreigners, especially Englishmen, who pass the night near him on a small bed usually wore their hair short and used no placed under the same canopy. He impera- powder, had their hair powdered and a queue tively demanded that she should continue to attached to the collars of their coats when occupy this same bed, adding, in a spirit of they attended Bonaparte's receptions. The strange jealousy, that no husband should younger ladies, though levity and vanity often ever omit to take precautions against the led them to advocate everything belonging to natural inconsistency of woman. Mme. Louis, the old régime, rose in arms against powder. | notwithstanding her disgust, submitted in They trembled lest these reforms should af silence to this gross abuse of conjugal author- fect themselves and, beginning with chignons ity. Meanwhile Corvisart, who was in at- and patches, should finish with panniers and tendance on her, and who remarked a change 73 Bonaparte, Joseph OF THE GREAT Bonaparte, Lucien in her appearance, questioned her respecting | laughingly predicted to him the arrival of a the details of her life, and obtained from her letter which should overwhelm him with joy. an admission of her husband's strange fancy. lle went home and went to sleep, pleased in He thought it his duty to inform the emprese, spite of himself with the prophecy and dream- and did not conceal from her that, in his ing delightful dreams of the postman. “But opinion, the atmosphere of Louis's bedroom I awoke--and adieu, ye bright illusions!- was very unwholesome for his wife. Mme. the damaged boots met my sight--and more- Bonaparte warned her daughter, who replied over, this old pair of trousers must be patched that she had thought as much; but, never by the tailor's grandson. Needle in hand I theless, she entreated her mother not to inter continued ruminating on some misanthropi- fere between her husband and herself. Then, cal rhymes, such as I was then in the habit of no longer able to restrain herself, she entered composing, when my portière enters out of into particulars which showed how grinding breath and hands to me a letter, the address was the tyranny from which she suffered, and of which was in a writing unknown to me. how admirable the silence she had hitherto ... The Senator Lucien Bonaparte had kept. Mme. Bonaparte appealed to the em read my verses and desires to see me.” ... peror, who was attached to his stepdaughter, Lucien Bonaparte, the gentlest, the most lov- and he expressed his displeasure to his broth able of the whole family, established at once er. Louis coldly replied that, if his private the fortunes of the young poet. He made over affairs were interfered with, he should leave to Beranger the little income to which he France; and the emperor, who could not toler himself was entitled as member of the Insti- ate any open scandal in his family, and who tute-a thousand francs-or somewhere about was perhaps, like the others, daunted by forty pounds a year. The arrears of three Louis's strange and obstinate temper, advised years were paid at once to the fortunate Mme. Louis to have patience. Happily for rhymester. Ile could help his father; he could her, her husband soon gave up the disgusting maintain himself. So far as his worldly con- remedy in question, but he owed her a deep cerns went, he had no greater ambition. For- grudge for not having kept his secret.-MAD tune had come to him in a moment.-Black- AME DE REMUSAT, “Memoirs." wood's Magazine, January, 1858. BONAPARTE, Louis Lucien, 1813-1891; Count Lucien (I do not know in what BONAPARTE, Pierre, 1815-1881. year) established himself in the good graces of Mademoiselle Meserai, an actress of the It was said that the two brothers, Prince Théâtre Français, who was both pretty and Louis Lucien and Prince Pierre, in their early sprightly. The conquest was not difficult, in Fouth, when shooting mouflons in the moun- the first place, because this had never been tains of Corsica, came across a beautiful her character towards any one, and, secondly, peasant girl, with whom they both fell vio because the artiste knew the great wealth of lently in love. Who she was, and whether the count and believed him to be prodigal. she favored both brothers or neither, I cannot The first attentions of her lover confirmed her tell. Be that as it may, they quarreled. Les in her opinion, and she demanded a house. preux chevaliers of old would, no doubt, in a He at once presented her with one richly and similar occurrence had recourse to the lance elegantly furnished, the deed being put into or the sword. The Corsican princes deter- her hands on the day she took possession; and mined to play for their belle a game of cards. each visit of the count added to her wardrobe They went to the nearest inn and wrote and or jewel case some new gifts. This lasted signed a paper agreeing that whichever won some months, at the end of which Lucien be- the game should marry the lady fair. Prince came disgusted with his bargain and began to Lucien won and, faithful to his word, a short consider by which means he might break it time afterwards married her. She was Ma- without losing too much. Among other tilda Cecchi, of Lucca He married her in things, he had made Mademoiselle a present 1833 and was separated from her in 1850.- of a pair of girandoles, containing diamonds PRINCESS CAROLINE MURAT, "Memoirs." of great value. In one of their last inter- views, before the count had allowed any signs BONAPARTE, Lucien, 1775-1840. Prince of of coldness to be seen, he perceived the giran- Canino. doles on the toilet table of his mistress and, It was when brought down by many adver- | taking them in his hands, said, “Really, my sities that the youth [Beranger], in a fit of | dear, you do me injustice. Why do you not sudden hope or despair, enclosed a couple of show more confidence in me? I do not wish his verses to Lucien Bonaparte, telling no you to wear jewelry so much out of date as one. Two hours after, his friend Judith | these.” “Why, it is only six months since you Bonaparte, Lucien Borghese, Pauline 74 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES gave them to me.” “I know it; but a woman been mainly occupied in making Latin and of good taste, a woman who respects herself, French verses of an objectionable sort not should never wear anything six months old. adapted for general publication.-L. VULLIE- I will take the ear-rings and send them to de MIN, “Chillon, A Historical Study." Villiers (the count's jeweler) with orders to mount them as I wish.” The count was ten- Byron apparently believed Bonnivard to derly thanked for so delicate an attention, and have been a Protestant martyr for conscience' put the girandoles in his pocket, with one or sake, but it is hardly an exaggeration to say that Byron knew nothing whatever about him. two necklaces which had also been his gifts, and which did not appear to him sufficiently Not only did he credit the prisoner with new in style, and the breach took place be- three wholly imaginary brothers; he was en- fore any of these had been returned. Not- tirely wrong about his religious opinions. It was not until after his release from prison withstanding this, Mademoiselle believed her- self well provided for with her furniture and that Bonnivard embraced the Protestant faith her house, until one morning the true pro- and the duke's quarrel with him was of a prietor came to ask her wishes as to making purely political character. ... Bonnivard a new lease. She ran to examine her deed, tells us that he occupied himself during his which she had not yet thought to do, and captivity with the composition of "any number of trifling fancies and ballads, both in found that it was simply a description of the the French and Latin languages." . .. He property, at the end of which was a receipt married four times after his release from for two years' rent.-Louis CONSTANT, "Mem. oirs." prison. His first wife was Catherine Baum- gartner, of Berne, a lady of good quality. The The emperor urged his brother to dis town council of Geneva on one occasion voted solve a disgraceful marriage, holding out a her half an ell of velvet in consideration of crown or his displeasure as the alternative. | her good offices in persuading her husband to Lucien refused to abandon the “mother of his sell a house which the town wanted to buy. children." The altercation became more and His second wife was Jeanna Darmeis, an more violent. “We shall see,” cried Napo. elderly lady, the widow of two husbands and leon, “to what you will be reduced by your the mother of a Syndic; this was the wife of obstinacy and foolish passion for a woman of whom Bonnivard declared that she thorough- gallantry.” “At least,” retorted Lucien, “my ly deserved to be beaten. ... Of the third woman of gallantry is young and handsome." wife we only know that her name was Pern. This allusion to the empress stung Napoleon ette Mazue, and that she was a widow. to the core. He held his watch in his hand, Concerning the fourth wife there is a which he dashed into fragments on the floor, painful story to be told. She was called Cath- exclaiming: "I could crush you as I do this erine de Courtavonne and was a nun who had bauble; but you are my brother-go!” The run away from a convent. ... Three years angry conference lasted above an hour. Lu- | afterwards his wife was arraigned before the cien came out of it in a state of terrible agi Consistory on a charge of infidelity to her tation, pale, trembling, his eyes inflamed and husband. ... He testified that he found overflowing with tears. Its issue seemed to nothing to complain of in her conduct, except have greatly affected Napoleon; for he scarce. that she had urged him to be more devout ly uttered a single word during the remain than he cared to be, had taunted him for not der of the evening.-JOHN S. MEMES, "Mem preaching the gospel and had beaten him for oirs of the Empress Josephine." inviting his friends to drop in upon him and drink a glass of wine. It was in vain, how- BONNIVARD, Francois de, 1493-1570. French ever. The guilt of Madame Bonnivard was general. proved. Her paramour was beheaded; she It is needful to caution enthusiastic tour- herself, in accordance with the cruel custom ists that nearly all the details of Byron's of the age, was sewn up in a sack and thrown poem are fabulous. The two brothers, the like a load of rubbish into the Rhône.-J. F. martyred father, the anguish of the prisoner, CHAPONNIÈRE, in a publication of the Geneva were all invented by the poet on that rainy Historical Society. day at the tavern at Ouchy. Even the level of the dungeon, below the water of the lake, BORGHESE, Marie Pauline, 1780-1825. turns out to be a mistake, although Bonni. Italian princess. vard believed it; the floor of the crypt is She appeared delighted to go with her eight feet above high water mark. As for the "little Leclerc,” as she called him, but she thoughts of the prisoner, they seem to have was desolated about it and one day I found 75 Bonaparte, Lucien Borghese, Pauline OF THE GREAT her in a paroxysm of despair and tears, very with Madame de Hoehenegg and was ushered alarming to any one who did not understand into an exquisite boudoir. The princess was her as well as I did. “Ah, Laurette," she reclining at her ease in an invalid's chair, her said as she threw herself into my arms, "how little feet well in view; but that was not the happy you are. You are remaining in Paris, treat in store. A page, pretty as Cupid, and you ... Mon Dieu, how bored I shall be! dressed as pages are in medieval pictures, And then how came my brother to have so entered, bearing a costly ewer, a silver-gilt hard & heart, so spiteful a disposition, as to basin, a napkin of fine cambric, perfumes and send me into exile, in the midst of snakes other cosmetics. He drew a velvet hassock and savages? ... And then I am ill. Oh, || up to the chair, the princess graciously put I shall be dead before I arrive there.” And forth one of her legs, the little page took off her sobs choked her, so that for a moment I the stocking, the garter, too, I think, and be- feared that she was ill. I approached her gan to massage, to rub, to wipe, to perfume settee and, taking her hands in mine, I spoke this beautiful foot, which really was incom- to her, as one would to a child of playthings parable. The operation was a lengthy one and and toys. I told her that she would be queen the astonishment of the lookers-on so great over there; that she would ride in a palan that they lost the faculty of enthusiastic quin; that a slave would be attentive to her praise which was doubtless expected of them. least movement in order to execute her will; I told Madame Hoehenegg that that would that she would walk about under flowering be a pretty subject for a genre picture; she orange trees; that the snakes would do her was delightfully gifted in that way. We no harm, if there were any in the Antilles; laughingly reproached her for having neg- that the savages were equally innocuous; that | lected a completely new subject. While the it was not there that people were roasted on little page drew off and drew on her stock- spits, and I concluded my speech by telling ings, perfumed her beautiful feet, filed and her that she would look very well dressed å refined the nails, she was chatting and to all la creole. As I spoke Madame Leclerc's sobs appearances quite devoid of self-consciousness became less violent. "And dost thou believe as regards her toilet.-BARONESS DE MONTET, then, Laurette, that I shall be pretty, more "Souvenirs." pretty than I am, with a bandanna worn à la She was traveling to Germany and one creole, a little corset, a petticoat of striped fine morning a courier in her livery came muslin ?” She rang for her maid. “Bring me kicking at the prefect's house. He had come all the bandannas you have," she said. And to announce the arrival, he said, of her im- the coiffure à la creole was so ravishing, that perial highness, who would ask him to give Pauline became quite resigned to her fate, her some breakfast; nothing simpler so far; and talked gaily about the picnics she in- but the messenger was instructed moreover to tended to give among the mountains of St. order that, when she stepped out of her car- Domingo.—DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, "Memoirs.” riage, a milk bath should be in readiness for You are well aware that our reminis. her, to be followed by a shower bath of the cences fall like leaves of spring, summer or same liquid. It was not an easy thing to do, autumn. Some come from the heart, some in a small town; nevertheless, means must be from I know not where. The imagination has found. The prefect despatched to a neigh- no system; thus, I am thinking, I know not | boring village the whole force of his depart- why, of the beautiful Princess Pauline Bor mental guard. Each soldier brought back his ghese, Napoleon's sister. Our dear Wilhel- can of milk and they were beginning to heat mina Hoehenegg, lady in waiting to the it when the fair traveler arrived. “Carry me Empress (of Austria), was telling us one as you used to do, dear little brother," said evening how, when at Rome with the Princess she; and the prefect assumed his former Ruspoli, who had given her a home after the functions and sat the princess down in the death of her mother, the conversation turned | handsomest room in the house. “And my to pretty feminine feet. Princess Ruspoli bath?" she asked in a wheedling voice. “It knew how frivolously vain the imperial prin is ready for you.” “And my shower bath ?” cess was, and did not forget to go into rap “Ah, that is more difficult; we have no ap- tures over her foot. “Would you like to see paratus for it.” “Have holes pierced in the it?” said Princess Borghese quietly. "Come ceiling just over the place where my bath to-morrow at twelve.” Great was Princess will stand when it is brought in. Forgive the Ruspoli's astonishment, but there was no trouble, dear little brother, but it is necessary means of escaping this peculiar invitation. for my health.” They did the best they could She presented herself at the Palazzo Borghese, and the result was that the prefect received Borghese, Paulino Brougham, Lord 76 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES many gracious adieux, the furniture was retired and, having substituted for the Aus- splashed with milk stains and the room trian uniform one of the Old Guard, entered smelled long like a badly kept dairy.-DUCH the chamber of his sister, who ran to him and ESS DE REGGIO, "Memoirs of Marshal Oudi embraced him with a tenderness which drew not,” giving as her authority M. Leclerc, Pre tears from the eyes of all present.-D'ABRAN- fect of the Meuse, brother-in-law of the prin. | TES. cess. BRAUN, Johann Carl Ludwig, 1771-1835. Princess Borghese pulled down a church Prussian general. next to her palace because the incense made The part of the lover was to be played by her feel sick and the organ produced head- Einsiedel, who fell ill shortly before the per- ache.-T. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Royalty in All formance began, and his place was taken by Ages." Commander Braun, who learned his part and “If he (Napoleon at Elba) wanted to got Einsiedel to coach him, so that it went beat me," she would say, “I should resign my fairly well, especially as there was a good self with a good grace. It would be painful, prompter, who promised to keep his attention of course, but I should bear it if it gave him on the new recruit. All went smoothly until pleasure.”—PONS DE L'HERAULT, "Memoirs." the scene where the lovers are surprised by the jealous husband, who is hidden behind a It was she, who, finding that a lady was curtain and has to rush out when he gets surprised at her having sat naked while a his cue. This word was utterly forgotten by statue of her was being molded by Canova, Braun, who was stricken by a terrible at: believed she had satisfactorily explained mat- tack of stage fright. He stuttered and stut- ters by saying, “but there was a fire in the tered. The husband waited in vain. At last, room."-MARSHAL MARMONT, "Memoirs." seeing there was no alternative, Bertuch (who It [Canova's famous statue of the Prin- | played the part of the jealous husband) cess Borghese) appealed to Borghese's taste | rushed forth from his concealment, sword in only to a moderate degree. He shared Kotze. hand, to take his life and make an end of it. bue's opinion, "I should not like to expose The captain, however, was too upset to grasp my wife to the public gaze in that way," and this idea and absolutely refused to be killed. acted on it. He put the indecent statue under In vain Bertuch whispered in his ear, “In the lock and key in a private apartment and a devil's name, why don't you die?” Nothing special authorization was necessary to those would restore common sense to the distracted students who wished to admire it.-HECTORE actor. Finally, Goethe, out of all patience, FLEISCHMANN, "Pauline Bonaparte and Her called out in a stentorian voice, "If he won't Lovers.” die like a brave man, let him die like a cow- ard! Stab him in the back!” But even this Prince Borghese, the emperor's brother- did not restore the nerves to the victim of in-law, was one of our frequent visitors, but stage fright; he continued stuttering until no one took any notice of him. I shall never Bertuch, stealing behind him, gave him a tre- forget how, in the short periods in which the | mendous shove, which precipitated him on to conversation became a little serious, he went the stage, where he lay helpless and was for some chairs, arranged them two by two borne away on a shutter amidst peals of in the middle of the room, and amused him. laughter from the audience.—FBANCES GEB- self by humming tunes and dancing square ARD, “A Grand Duchess." dances with these mute supers.-PRINCESS POTOCKA, "Memoirs," copyright, Doubleday, BRIGHT, John, 1811-1889. English states- Page & Co. man. Bright liked punctuality in all things-in At this moment (Napoleon on his way to Elba meeting his sister Pauline] they en- social matters as well as in business affairs. Upon one occasion he was dining at Mr. Pot- tered the chamber of the princess. She ex- tended her arms to him and burst into tears. ter's and a lady and gentleman arrived late for dinner. Bright sat next the lady. He said, All at once her attention was arrested by the Austrian uniform which he wore, and she apropos of nothing: “There are two unpar- donable sins--one writing an illegible hand turned pale. “How is this?” asked she; "why this uniform ?” “Pauline,” replied Napoleon, and the other being late for dinner.”-R. "do you wish me dead?” The princess, look: Barry O'BRIEN, "Life of John Bright.” ing at him steadfastly replied, "I cannot em- I used to go with Bright to Millais, brace you in that dress. O Napoleon! What when his picture was being painted. He was have you done?” The emperor immediately a great trouble to Millais; he would not keep OF THE GREAT Borghese, Paulino Brougham, Lord quiet, or do as he was told. He would keep breathe. I found him in shocking bad humor. getting out of the chair, walking to the paint | He said he had remained a whole day. spent ing, looking at it, saying: “It is not a bit | ten shillings in driving to the Laxford, broke like"; and then going back to the chair, ask. his rod and had no sport. I said all I could ing how much longer he was to remain, and to restore him to good humor but in vain, suddenly getting up and saying that he would offered him the use of a salmon rod, which not stop any longer. I think his picture by he declined—said he would leave next morn- Millais was a failure and it was his fault. ing. I parted with him, concluding that he He was so impatient and restless.-R. BARRY was the most uncouth, ill-tempered man I had O'BRIEN, "Life of John Bright,” quoting a ever met in his rank.--EVANDER MACIVER, friend of Bright. "Memoirs of a Highland Gentleman.” I once had a house in Scotland and — BROUGHAM, Henry, Lord Brougham and (a Tory magnate) was living near me. Bright Vaux, 1778-1868. Lord Chancellor of Eng. was coming to stay with me and — knew it. land. Lady - said to me that she knew Mr. Bright was going to stay with us and that she Brougham made his first explosion while at and her husband would like to meet him. “Of Fraser's class. He dared to differ from Fra- course," she said, "we don't like his politics, ser, a hot but good-natured old fellow, on a but we admire his oratory and we admire small bit of Latinity. The master, like other him and we should like to make his acquain men in power, maintained his own infalli- tance.” I promised that I would bring Bright bility, punished the rebel and flattered him- to see them when he came. I told Bright on self that the affair was over. But Brougham his arrival. "I won't go," said he. “But you reappeared the next day, loaded with books, must," said I; “I have promised to take you." returned to the charge before the whole class "I don't care,” said he; “I won't go." I ex- and compelled Honest Luke to acknowledge plained to him that this would place me in that he had been wrong. This made Brough- an awkward position, but it was no use. He am famous throughout the whole school.- said I ought to have made no promise about HENRY COCKBURN, “Memorials of His Time.” him. One day I ordered the carriage and Brougham alternated hard mental labor determined, if I could, to drive him to the with relaxation which sometimes took the - 9. He and I drove off. After a time form of what would in these days be called he asked me, "Where are you driving to ?” blackguardism. After philosophy, tavern I said, “I am going to call on — " "Then," suppers; after supper, an issuing forth of said he, "you must drop me in the middle of the roystering students, who spent a sportive the road; I won't go," and so, of course, we hour in wrenching off the brass knockers and returned without making the call.—R. BARRY bellhandles which adorned the newly built O'BRIEN, “Life of John Bright," quoting a | mansions in Edinburgh New Town. Brough- friend of Bright. am had a closet full of such spoils in his One rudeness of which Bright was con- own house, but he could not show and did not stantly guilty was this: When Disraeli in dare to sell them. These expeditions had not the course of a great speech was approach lost their charm for him in 1803, when he ing a point of exceptional brilliancy, Bright was in his twenty-fifth year. A farewell din- would rise from his place and walk slowly ner was given to Horner on his leaving Edin- out of the House, immediately returning be- burgh for London. On breaking up the ele- hind the Speaker's chair; I have known him vated company rushed down to a druggist's to do this over and over again, for the sake shop. Brougham, hoisted on the shoulders of of insulting Disraeli.-WILLIAM FRASER, the tallest of the company, placed himself on "Disraeli and His Day." the top of the doorway, held on by a board, John Bright came to Scourie in my ab- and twisted off the enormous brazen serpent which was the druggist's sign. He and the sence with a letter of introduction from the rest had to run for it. In his ninetieth year Duke of Sutherland asking me to give him he alluded to this freak with exultation. The fishing on the river Laxford. He was sent flash of youthful fervor, however, gave way there by my son. It turned out that he went to aged wisdom and he exclaimed with there with a small trout rod and he broke it Scott's Ochiltree: “Aye, aye! soon after beginning to fish and came back They were daft days then, but they were a vanity and without any sport. I returned home that waur."--Temple Bar, April, 1871. evening and went to the hotel to call on him. I found him reading and smoking and the Orange-sucking was found a great help room so full of smoke that I could scarcely and relief in debate. On February 7, 1828, Brougham, Lord WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES during a famous deliverance on law reform, Brougham had his hat beside him full of this fruit, sucking them almost incesantly and in an audible aside abusing Bellamy if he came across a bad one.-T. II. S. ESCOTT, “Club Makers and Club Members." Brougham was always threatening or praying, or both together; and in his speech on the second reading of the Reform bill he tried the effect of kneeling by way of giving efficacy to the concluding prayer. The ex- periment was not successful and was on the verge of becoming ludicrous. During a four hours' speech he largely availed himself of the privileges of the Lords to support his strength and voice with something stronger than oranges. Five tumblers full of mulled wine, with a soupçon of brandy, were brought to him at due intervals. Whilst he was imbibing the fifth, a Tory peer, near the bar, exclaimed, “There's another half hour good for us and be damned to him.” When he came to his final sentence, “I warn you, I implore you-yea, on my bended knees I sup- plicate you-reject not this bill,” he knelt down on the woolsack; and fortunately it was at the last sentence that he knelt, for he was helped on his legs by friends who hurried up to congratulate him and doubts prevailed whether he could have risen with out their help. “He continued for some time as if in prayer; but his friends, alarmed lest he should be suffering from the effects of mulled port, picked him up and placed him safely on the woolsack.”—Quarterly Review, January, 1869. The general attitude of the flouse was much more that of William Scott, older than Brougham, and himself a barrister of fame, who, on the verge of a speech, inquired cau- tiously: "Ilow does the House seem? Is Brougham there? Does he look very sav- age?"--EDITII L. ELIAS, “In Victorian Times." At the public dinner next day, responding to the toast of "His Majesty's Ministers," he exclaimed, extending his hands, "My fel- low citizens of Edinburgh, after being four years a minister, these hands are clean." They happened to be remarkably dirty, which raised a titter among all who were near enough to see.-Quarterly Review, January, 1869. He knew many cultivated and intellec- tual women, but this seemed to be of no ef- fect. If not able to assume towards them his ordinary manner towards silly women, he was awkward and at a loss. This was by no means agreeable, though the sin of his bad manners must be laid at the door of the vain women who discarded their ladyhood for his sake, went miles to see him, were early on platforms where he was to be and admitted him to very broad flirtations. He had pretty nearly settled his own business, in regard to conversations with ladies, be- fore two more years were over. His swear- ing became so incessant, and the occasional indecency of his talk so insufferable, that I have seen even coquettes and adorers turn pale and the lady of the house tell her hus- band that she could not undergo another dinner party with Lord Brougham as a guest. -HARRIET MARTINEAU, "Autobiography.” One invention has given him a reputation which promises to be as permanent as the fame of Lord Sandwich or Lord Spencer. The "odd little sort of garden-chair belong. ing to the Chancellor," which piqued Moore's curiosity, was made to his order, in the days of his popularity, by Robinson, the coachmaker, and called after its illustrious designer. Possibly the brougham will be his most lasting monument. The Duke of Wel- lington, who one day told him so, was met with the retort that the conqueror at Water- loo had not disdained to identify his illus- trious name with a pair of boots. “Damn the boots," replied the duke; “I'd forgotten them; you have the best of it.”—J. B. AT- LAY, “The Victorian Chancellors.” We remember once hearing the Earl of Harewood say that Brougham was exceeding- ly popular with children. The earl had been at some youthful party where the great lord chancellor was also present, and where he seated himself on the carpet, and, with youthful groups sitting or lying about or around him, he kept them enthralled by telling them rattling fairy stories which he invented as they listened. He was as young and delighted as any of them.-Tem- ple Bar, April, 1871. He gave me, too, a very sound piece of advice as to how to avoid confusion in dic- tion and to grasp that inestimable prize, the art of finding the next passage in your speech. “When you are speaking," he said, "always try to think that you can see semi- colons between your phrases.” The punc- tuation of thought is, I take it, one of the most valuable elements in public speaking. -G. A. SALA, Temple Bar, June, 1868. One day I went with him to dine at the Trafalgar, at Greenwich. We were a party of six; it was a picnic dinner and each of us 79 Brougham, Lord OF THE GREAT paid our share. Lord Brougham called for writing materials and wrote a check. One of us suggested that if he did not have any money we could lend it. “No, no," said Lord Brougham, “I have plenty of money; but, don't you see, the host may prefer my signature to the money."-LORD LAMINGTON in Blackwood's Magazine, March, 1890. A new piece, called “The Jolly Topers," by the unfortunate Robert Heron, was pro- duced at the Edinburgh theater; it stag- gered through four acts under increasing marks of disapprobation till the curtain finally rose on a party seated round a table with bottles and glasses before them. The gentleman in his chair rose solemnly from his seat and said: "All charged; give us a toast.” An unexpected answer came from the pit. The lanky figure of Henry Brougham was seen drawn up to its full height and in courteous tones he responded, "I humbly propose Good Afternoon.” The cry was taken up from all parts of the house and the hint was acted on by the audience, leaving “The Jolly Toperg” disconsolate and the piece damned.-J. B. ATLAY, “The Victorian Chan- cellors," citing Brougham's Autobiography. The usher had been requested by the judge several times to obtain silence in the court and the usher had not been successful in carrying out the judge's orders. At last Brougham, irritated by the noise around him, said: “Usher, pray, preserve silence; the next time I speak it will be to your suc- cessor."-Chambers's Journal, November 11, 1865. In later life Lord Brougham, though his dress was always odd, was as neat and trim an old gentleman as you would wish to see; but in his days of political power, he was said to have been a terrible sloven. An old lady I knew many years in Westmoreland- she had been the proprietor of a newspaper at Kendal and had helped Brougham mate- rially in one of his electioneering contests, in return for which he made her the prac- tical present of a horse and gig—told me that he “just chucked t clouse upon him like hay on to th' tynes of a fork;" that it was easier to get him to drink a bowl of punch than to shave himself and that when he left his lodgings in the morning for the assize court his servant had frequently to run after him with the white neckerchief he had for- gotten to don.-G. A. SALA, in Temple Bar, June, 1868. As every one knows he retained his ex- traordinary mental and bodily vigor almost to the last and, when in his eighty-sixth year or thereabouts, eagerly availed himself of an invitation from the headmaster to be one of the distinguished visitors on speech- day. As a compliment to the veteran orator one of the monitors was tolled off to recite a "purple patch” from some perfervid speech on which it was known that he particularly prided himself. This attention greatly flat- tered Lord Brougham's vanity, which had not diminished with the march of time; and at the conclusion of the recital, depositing a very seedy-looking hat on his chair, he sprang to his feet and vehemently applauded the interpreter of his bygone eloquence. But unfortunately on resuming his seat he for- got that it was occupied by his hat, upon which he sank with very disastrous conse- quences. Of this, however, the expectant crowd of boys in the yard knew nothing and when at the end of the speeches the head of the school called from the top of the steps for “Three cheers for Lord Brougham,” we were convulsed to see them acknowledged by an individual in rusty black, with an “old clo'” broken-crowned hat resting on a nose the shape of which has since been emulated by Ally Sloper. But Lord Brougham's ad- venture did not end there. Evidently highly gratified with his reception, he passed on to the headmaster's house, where, with the élite of the visitors, he was bidden to lunch. There, however, his self-esteem encountered a rude shock, for the policeman stationed at the door to keep off "loafers” and other un- desirable company, sternly asked the dilapi- dated-looking old person his business. "I He could roar, however, on occasion. At that same Huddersfield festival I told you of anon there arose in the course of the speech-making a tremendous disturbance. A baronet, member for the borough, was present and for some reason I know nothing of had become very unpopular. His appearance on the platform was a signal for a storm of hisses, hoctings, cat-calls and Kentish fire. Brougham was in the chair, nodding, as I thought. Suddenly he rose. His eye flashed; the famous nose seemed to quiver and the snowy mane to be stirred. “Silence!” he thundered; "Silence, or you shall hear my voice.” The people of Huddersfield had heard it with a vengeance. In an instant there was silence, as dead as that you might imagine to reign after the explosion of a powder mill. The proceedings came to a most harmonious termination. Lord Brough- am was then in the eighty-third year of his age.-G. A. SALA, Temple Bar, June, 1868. Bucking Broncham, Duke 80 to of' WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES , Lord hamam invited here to lunch," growled out the rent issue of the Examiner in a biting article indignant guest. "Gammon," curtly respond which bore the motto, “And is Old Double ed the guardian of the peace. “I am Lord Dead ?" Mr. Shafto promptly denied that he Brougham," was the furious rejoinder. had written the letter to Mr. Montgomery. “Bah,” contemptuously retorted the bobby, L... Whether sheer love of mischief, cu- "yer wants me to believe that, do yer? Move riosity to obtain a peep at the verdict of pos- on!” At this critical juncture the old lord, terity, or the hope of arousing sympathy, inarticulate with rage, was fortunately es- was the predominant motive it is impossible pied by another guest, who, taking in the to say.-J. B. ATLAY, “The Victorian Chan- situation at a glance, succeeded in allaying cellors." the suspicions of the policeman.-Blackwood's Altogether the trick is a wretched sam- sfagazine, June, 1903. ple of Brougham's love of notoriety and Great Brain Not all Gray Matter characteristic cunning.-LORD BROUGHTON, “Recollections.” Brougham is said to have made pancakes on the Great Seal for the amusement of a He had posed before the world as an ora. duchess.-R. D. McGIBBON in The Green tor, a politician, a lawyer, an Edinburgh re- Bag, October, 1905. viewer, a propounder of startling theories in science, a translator of Demosthenes, a novel- He was verging on the chancellorship ist, a royal correspondent and a “body." He when he told a friend that he had discovered was now going to perform his greatest feat a very pretty property of numbers, which and become a mighty potentate the ruler of he thought had not been noticed: nothing less the world's destiny-President of the French than if three consecutive numbers be added Republic. In the beginning of the year 1818 together, the sum is divisible by three. In Brougham crossed over to France. While the clever and telling tract in which he there the revolution took place. The pro- opened the Library of Useful Knowledge, it visional government had placed in power a stands patent that you must have algebra national assembly to be elected by universal to tell how long the cutter at ten miles an suffrage and Brougham offered himself as a hour will need to overtake the smuggler candidate for representative of the depart- eighteen miles ahead at eight miles an hour. ment of Var, in which his château was sit- -Athenæum, May 16, 1868. uated. His candidature was well received by the inhabitants of Cannes, but before he On Monday, October 21, 1839, a report could be elected it was necessary for him to spread like wild fire through the London produce an acte de naturalisation. In clubs and out into the streets that Lord order to obtain this he posted to Paris and Brougham had been killed in a carriage acci addressed a letter to the minister of justice dent near his home in Westmoreland. Crabb | requesting an act of naturalization. The Robinson has described how at the Athe- minister in reply apprized him of the conse- næum, excitement broke the icy fetters of quences of the demand. "If France adopts club etiquette and how John Gibson Lock you for one of her sons, you cease to be an hart spoke to him, though they had never Englishman; you are no longer Lord Brough- been introduced. The intelligence was con am, you become Citizen Brougham. You tained in a letter signed by Mr. Shafto, who lose forthwith all titles of nobility, all had been one of the carriage party, and it privileges, all advantages, of whatever nature was addressed to Mr. Alfred Montgomery. || they may be, which you possess, either in Montgomery rushed off to Lady Blessington your quality of Englishman, or by virtue of and then started in a post chaise to break rights hitherto conferred on you by British the news to Lord Wellesley at Fernhill. The laws or customs, and which cannot harmon- press treated the authority as being too dis ize with our laws of equality between all tinct and circumstantial to admit of doubt citizens.” Brougham had built up airy vi- and the following day the papers, with the sions of the presidency, but he had no notion solitary exception of the Times, pronounced of renouncing his peerage and becoming the accustomed funeral oration on the de plain Citizen Brougham, and so, much dis- parted statesman. On Wednesday came the gusted with the minister's exposition of the démenti. The carriage had been upset but coveted act of naturalization and its con- nobody had been injured. ... That the ru sequences, he hastily retraced his steps across mor originated from Brougham Hall and the channel and once more entered that coun- with Brougham's sanction is beyond dispute. try whose bounds could not contain his am- He was promptly taxed with it in the cur- / bition.-Temple Bar, June, 1881. OF THE GREAT Brougham, Lord Buckingham, Duke of BRUNE, William Marie Anne, 1763-1815. | loons and dress boots, with the addition of French marshal. a very plain black-handled and black-hilted Brune showed splendid nerve in action, but dress sword. This to gratify those who have he suffered tortures in his first battles, for yielded so much and to distinguish me from the noise of cannonading and the sight of the upper court servants. I knew that I blood made him sick. Every time a field would be received in any dress I might wear; piece was discharged near him, he felt a but could not have anticipated that I should shock in the pit of the stomach which would be received in so kind and distinguished a have made him bend double with pain if he manner. Having yielded, they did not do had not stiffened his legs in the stirrups and things by halves. As I approached the queen, thrown his body rigidly back. To do this, an arch but benevolent smile lit up her however, required such an amount of nervous countenance; as much as to say, You are the tension, that sometimes his muscles re first man who ever appeared before me at mained as if paralyzed for hours. At the court in such a dress. I confess that I never battle of Arcola, where his masterly com- felt more proud of being an American than mand of a division helped to win the day, when I stood in that brilliant circle "in the the rebound of a cannon ball threw a cloud simple dress of an American citizen.”—JAMES of earth into his face and knocked him, BUCHANAN, letter, London, February 24, blinded, off his horse. His sword got snapped 1854, to Harriet Lane. as he fell, but he continued to grasp the hilt When the Japanese commissioners came, so tightly that his fingers seemed to be bringing with them curious and costly gifts, clamped around it. For more than half an some of which were intended for the presi- hour they would not relax, and all this time, dent, he sent them all to the Patent Office as while the mud was being washed out of his the property of the country. He even went eyes, his teeth were set as if in lock jaw. so far as to insist, at all times, upon paying These symptoms of physical distress, like his fare whenever he traveled, never receiv- Nelson's tendency to seasickness, were never ing a pass, even when he was out of office. quite overcome, but in time Brune was able He would have been horrified at the idea of to conceal the outward signs of them.- traveling free when he was president. I have Temple Bar, August, 1883. often heard him say, “I will pay my way BRUNSWICK, August Ludwig Wilhelm while I can afford it. When I cannot afford Maximilian Friederich, Duke of, 1806-1884. to pay I will stay at home.”—GEORGE TICK- German nobleman. NOR CURTIS, "Life of James Buchanan," The duke's mania for wigs of various quoting Miss Annie Buchanan. hues is well known, as well as the precau Rev. Dr. W. M. Paxton, of New York, tions he took to secure the safety of his contributes an interesting sketch of a visit diamonds in his strawberry-tinted palace, rue to him, while President, in 1860. Mr. Bu- Balzac. Every spike of the gilt railing which chanan invited the interview and, after a surrounded it was movable, on the slightest long and remarkable conversation on relig- touch setting hundreds of bells in motion. ious subjects, said: “As soon as I retire The diamonds were encased in a chest under from my office as President, I shall unite with his own bed, on opening which, unless pro the Presbyterian Church.” To this Dr. P. vided with his serene highness's own key, a replied, “Why not now, Mr. President ?" To dozen revolvers fired in the intruder's face. this he answered with deep feeling and a Notwithstanding these prudential measures, strong gesture: “I must delay, for the his own footman, a man named Smith, quiet honor of religion. If I were to unite with the ly walked off one summer evening with some church now, they would say hypocrite from few millions' worth of the said diamonds. Maine to Georgia.” He fulfilled his determi- ANTHONY B. NORTH PEAT, "Gossip from nation and died in the communion of the Paris.” Presbyterian church at Lancaster.-WILLIAM C. PRIME in Harper's Magazine, January, BUCHANAN, James, 1791-1868. President 1884. of the United States. The dress question, after much difficulty, BUCKINGHAM, George Villiers, first Duke has been finally and satisfactorily settled. | of, 1592-1628. English statesman. I appeared at the levee on Wednesday last There is an amusing description given in in just such a dress as I have worn at the an old chronicle (Harleian Library) of these president's a hundred times. A black coat, times and the sumptuousness and extrava- white waist-coat and cravat and black panta- gance of his dress, which was beyond all Buckingham, Duke of Bulwer-Lytton WIT. WISDOM AND FOIBLES precedent and example: “It was common Poets fall in love precociously, but in with him, at any ordinary dancing, to have that poetic privilege I was a match for the his clothes trimmed with great diamond but. best of them. At six years old Cupid and I tons, and to have diamond hatbands, cockades were already playfellows; and I declare and earrings, to be yoked with great and gravely that love it was, just the love poets manifold knots of pearl-in short, to be sing of; so timid and so happy when I sat manacled, fettered and imprisoned in jewels; , near her; and once at blindman's buff, when insomuch that, at his going once to Paris, in she ran into my arms, I thought that the 1625, he had twenty-seven suits of clothes, earth was gone from my feet, that we were made the richest that embroidery, lace, silk, both snatched up into the heavens. With velvet, gold and gems could contribute, one what a beating heart I set out one day, after of which was a white uncut velvet, set all she went to school, to pay her a visit! and over, both suit and cloak, with diamonds, what fine things I fancied I should say when valued at fourscore thousand pounds, besides I saw her! and when we met in the cold, for- a great feather stuck all over with diamonds, mal parlor of the prim school, how awkward as were his sword, girdle, hatband and | and shy I was! We stood opposite to each spurs."-Dublin University Magazine, July, other, both looking down. At last she opened 1853. her pretty lips, called me Master Edward Buckingham now introduced the practice and hoped my mama was well. I could have beat her, but when I got out I was of being carried on men's shoulders. This so much more inclined to beat myself.—"Auto- shocked the people that he was hooted on the streets; yet, like other vices and silly biography.” habits, so corrupting is evil example, that The mell of Bulwer's suburban school soon the displeasure ceased to be manifested, had dared to report young Bulwer's insubor- so common had the practise become.--Dublin | dination to the head master. There then en: University Magazine, July, 1853.. tered the arch pedagogue, a tall, gaunt, lame BUCKINGHAM, George Villiers, second man, of stern Cameronian countenance, with a cast in his eyes. As a step towards restor- Duke of, 1628-1687. English statesman. ing order, he actually dared to give Master In one of Dryden's plays there was this Bulwer a box on the ear. Now resulted an in- line, which the actress endeavored to speak cident related in full in “The Student” (p. in as moving and affecting a tone as she 233) and evidently suggesting a personal en- could: “My wound is great, because it is so counter of the boy Godolphin in the novel of small," and then she paused and looked very that name with the schoolmaster, Dr. Shal- much distressed. The Duke of Buckingham, lowell. The boy who would never take a lick- who was in one of the boxes, rose from his ing from a school fellow was not slow to seat and added in a loud, ridiculing voice, , return the blow of the master. A pitched "Then 'twould be greater were it none at all,” | battle between the two was only prevented which had so strong an effect upon the audi. by the refractory scholar being walked out ence (who before were not very well pleased of the school room by the ruler of that es- with the play) that they hissed the poor tablishment into an almost uninhabited par: woman off the stage; and (as this was the lor; without saying a word the mortally second time only of the play's appearance) offended preceptor turned on his heel and made Dryden lose his benefit night.- REV. left him to two days' solitary confinement- JOSEPH SPENCE, “Anecdotes." his food being mysteriously put in by an BULWER, Edward George Earle Lytton, invisible hand through a half-open door and Baron Lytton, 1803-1873. English author his bed being made up on a black horse-hair and statesman. sofa. At first literary consolation was al- I ſaged eight] must certainly have got lowed him in the shape of Beloe's "Sexagen- arian.” That solace, however, was soon re- ankle deep in the great slough of metaphysics, for I remember as if it were yesterday, after moved and the prisoner had no companion but sitting long silent and musing, I addressed his own thoughts. On the third morning, to my mother the following simple and child. his mother, terrified by the sentence of ex- like question: "Pray, mama, are you not pulsion passed on her son, arrived in her sometimes overcome by the sense of your carriage. Hardening himself in impenitence, own identity?” My mother looked up at me the boy volunteered no apology which might in amazed alarm. Quoth she: “It is high have had the effect of revoking the fatal time you should go to school, Teddy.”—“Au sentence; he merely walked out of the house tobiography.” with his mother, handed her into the car. 83 Buckingham, Duke of OF THE GREAT Bulwer-Lytton riage and called to the coachman, "Home!” him why Sir Edward had quoted so often The incident had closed itself; the school from Joe Miller, and what were the quota- days were at an end.-T. H. S. ESCOTT, “Life tions he had introduced. I assured him of Lord Lytton." that to the best of my belief the quotations were not from Joe Miller but from John Mill, “Shall I tell your fortune, my pretty and I did all I could to help him in the young gentleman?” was the question rousing exact passages which the orator had cited as Edward Bulwer from a reverie in the course authority in support of his propositions.- of his progress through southern Yorkshire JUSTIN MCCARTHY, “Reminiscences.” or the Midlands. The good looks of the Zingari girl who had come up to him of After breakfast the pipe was brought course brought her the answer, “Yes.” Hay. | into requisition in his sitting room, a weapon ing crossed her palms with silver, he heard or instrument, some six or seven feet in that he had in infancy lost his father, that length. Observing as I invariably did, a he had brothers, but no sister, and that as large quantity of Latakia tobacco spread out a boy he had a sweetheart whose loss nearly on his mantelpiece, I said one day, “You killed him and made it impossible for him appear to me, Sir Edward, to smoke a great ever to be gay again. What an opportunity, deal"; to which he replied in his usual it struck him, for learning astrology, chiro cheerful, good-humored way, "Well, indeed, mancy and other modes of occultism, which I do not. I take a few whiffs and then I he afterwards mastered by himself, and put my pipe down." Not being exactly satis- which, he lets it be seen in “Disowned,” he fied with this denunciation, I took the free- had generally found a sealed book to the dom of inquiring of his valet how much gipsies themselves. Now, however, intro tobacco his master really consumed. He in- duced by the gipsy girl, he stayed at her formed me that Sir Edward usually smoked encampment for a week, drinking out of the from eight to ten ounces of tobacco in a Romany cup and feeding on the Romany fare. week, "and,” said he, “I always place ceven Naturally, the original fortune-teller fell in cigars on the little table beside Sir Ed- love with the stranger, who then was one ward's bed, and when I go into his room at of the handsomest young men in England. eight o'clock in the morning (for being deaf “If you love me," she pressed, “marry me the servant's footsteps were not readily not,” she at once added, "that I mean, as heard), if I see two cigars left, I awake you mean, according to your fashion, but in him and take his orders; if I find that he has grandmother's presence by breaking a tile smoked them all, I let him lie another hour.” with me into two halves and only binding -Bulwer's life by his grandson, quoting Dr. ourselves for five years.” “Alas!” summing Garret of Hastings. up the whole incident, exclaimed Bulwer, “I He was not often seen in the parks or went further for a wife and fared worse.”- T. H. S. Escort, “Life of Lord Lytton.” places of public resort, but was well known in the neighborhood of the Portland Club, I listened in the gallery of the House of where he spent a couple of hours every after- Commons to the first great speech made by noon during the season. ...I came upon Sir Edward Bulwer Lytton after he had got him suddenly one wet, stormy November back to the House, determined to retrieve his evening near the South Saxon Hotel. It former failure. It was an extraordinary was blowing a gale and his slender figure speech in every sense. It proved to be a wavered and reeled almost as he tried to piece of labored eloquence so far as felicitous make head against the blast. He had no phrase-making, speaking paradox and ap overcoat and that which he did wear looked, propriate illustration could constitute elo I thought, faded and shabby. I was trying quence. But it had one terrible defect—the to slip past him unobserved, for he never utterance of the speaker was so imperfect met me without stopping and saying a few that until our ears got accustomed to the kind words; but he recognized me at a peculiarities of his articulation, even those glance and asked me to come home with him of us who were in the best places for hear to the Queen's Hotel, at Hastings, where he ing could not fully understand what he was staying, and dine. I found that he oc- was saying; and those who were less favor cupied apartments on the ground floor of ably placed found it hard to understand him the hotel. They seemed in a sad state of at all. After the speech was over a reporter confusion. The floor was strewn with a for one of the daily papers consulted me on litter of books and papers and copiously what would naturally seem to him a very sprinkled with Turkish tobacco, an odor of important point. He asked me if I could tell which pervaded the air. The tables were Bulwer-Lytton Burto, Edmund 84 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES laid with covers for three, but only myself ons”; he sat through it quietly until the and the host sat down. He ate, I observed, agony was piled up a little too high. Then, but sparingly and drank nothing but water followed by his spouses in procession, he left with a dash of sherry in it. In the evening, the theater, remarking, “I won't stand such as I was taking my departure, I came upon a damned row being made about one woman." the German waiter who had attended at table -T. H. S. EscoTT, “Life of Lord Lytton.” and hinted that the room might be kept "Occult studies, comprising the magic in a little better order. “Bless you, sir,” of ancient times as well as the spiritualism said the Kellner, “the place has not been of the present, had a great charm for him, swept or dusted for a fortnight; that 'ere and he entered on them with the earnest- gent is outrageous like if a book or a paper ness which marked the pursuit of less myg. is touched. The manager wants to get him terious knowledge. He dived into wizard away, but he has taken the rooms for a lore, equipped himself with magical instru- month and won't go; and he is such good pay ments, rods for transmitting influence, and that our governor don't like to disoblige crystal balls in which to discern coming him.” “Waiter,” said I sternly, “do you scenes and persons, and communed with me. know who that 'ere gent, as you call him, is?". diums and spiritualists. There can be little “Yes, sir-no, sir,” replied the waiter in a doubt, whatever faith he might have in par. breath, puzzled by my solemnity of tone. ticular manifestations, he believed in certain “That is Lord Lytton," I said, “the greatest occult powers of nature, to deal with which man in all England. If you see much of him is the object of these mysterious arts. On and note down what he says or does, you may more than one occasion we have known him become a second Boswell.” “Lor', sir,” said to dilate on such themes with great copious- the waiter, "you don't say so. Our manager ness of knowledge and apparent trustfulness thinks this gent is cracked; he goes out in in the reality of the marvels. Once, as he all weather without any great-coat and won't stood before the fire in a large old room in even take an umbrella; then he never ex- which a séance had lately been held by the amines his bills, but scribbles off a cheque well-known spiritualist Home, and his aspect on any scrap of paper that comes to hand. rendered more weird by the theme and the It was only day before yesterday a poor twilight, he described the ghostly things that woman comes with one of them scraps of had been apparent-hands and arms rising paper. She said that the outlandish-looking through the table, touching those who sat gent what lives in our house had given it to round, revealing, when grasped, the startling her and she did not know what to do with fact that they ended at the elbow, and finally it. He had come into her cabin to light his rising into the air, clad in grayish drapery pipe, while her husband, a poor fisherman, and floating out of a particular corner of the who had been drowned in the late gale, lay room; he almost gave a listener the impres- there dead. He wrote it on the back of an sion of a veritable necromancer.-Blackwood's old letter and said he hoped it would do her Magazine, March, 1884. good. You can't think of the poor creature's surprise when I brought her back ten sov- The association of his name with that ereigns which the manager gave me when he of the notorious medium D. D. Home in the saw the paper. Surely, sir, the gent can- séances at Florence and elsewhere marks not be right here," and the waiter significant- Lytton's spiritualistic enthusiasm as having ly touched his forehead.-PERCY BOYD, Bel- reached its height 1850-6. Thereafter it gravia, May, 1874. gradually declined. The possibility of com- municating with his daughter's spirit at- William Macready donned his most gen. tracted him to Home; the vulgarity of one tlemanly airs and excited Bulwer to write of Home's female clients began to repel him. for the stage.-FITZGERALD MOLLOY, “Victoria This lady, as Lytton used to tell the story, Regina." had been brought into converse with her Bulwer wrote his first novels in full departed husband's spirit. “Are you," she dress, scented.-Harper's Magazine July, asked, “quite 'appy, dear--as 'appy as when 1852. you were with me?” The reply came, “Oh, The only occasion on which many of his far, far ’appier.” “Then, indeed, you must visitors ever heard him mention his own be in 'eaven," sighed the lady. "No," re- writings was to illustrate a story about the turned the gentleman, “I'm in 'ell.”—T. H. founder of the Mormon polygamy. Brigham S. ESCOTT, “Life of Lord Lytton.” Young, with his numerous wives, had at. The separation of 1836 had been fol. tended a performance of “The Lady of Ly. | lowed on the lady's part by open acts of war 85 Bulwer-Lytton OF THE GREAT Burke, Edmund against her husband. These for some time took the form of violently abusive letters addressed directly to him or published against him in the newspapers, and by the circulation of incriminating anecdotes, in some cases purely vindictive rather than rigidly historical. One such story, only set going by the lady a few days earlier, August, 1858, was to this effect. When she had for the last time been traveling with her hus- band abroad, as their carriage passed through a hamlet in the Italian Alps, it excited the attention of a very handsome peasant girl. With incredible want of tact, Lytton is re- ported to have drawn his wife's attention to the girl's admiring gaze. “It is,” rejoined the lady, "not you, but that ridiculous ec- centric dress of yours which excites notice." “We will soon see," said Lytton, “whether the object of attention is the costume or the wearer.” With these words he proceeded to divest himself of his outer garments, afterwards settling himself in his place stripped to his underclothing.-T. H. S. Es- COTT, “Life of Lord Lytton.” “That asp, his wife,” to use the descrip- tion given not by the husband's partizans, but even by Lady Lytton's own friends, had timed a vituperative epistle from Paris to the Morning Post-so that it might appear on the morning of the day fixed for pro- ducing his drama. On this subject it is necessary here to mention only an incident connected with the reelection, by his Hert- fordshire constituents, of the Colonial Secre- tary of 1858. He left Knebworth for the neighboring county town, on a summer day of exceptional beauty-everywhere the Con- servative colors blew conspicuous, not more in the sky above than in the jackets of the post boys and in the favors of the crowd. He was in the middle of his address of thanks when, in a complete suit of deep yellow, the Hertfordshire Liberal color, there advanced a female brandishing a yellow umbrella, with rouged face and yellow-dyed hair. Mounting the hustings the lady salut- ed the newly made minister with, “Fiend, villain, monster, cowardly wretch, outcast. I am told,” she hissed out, "you have been sent to the colonies. If they knew as much about you as I do they would have sent you there long ago." The rest is silence. For once Lytton's presence of mind failed him, or rather, he fainted, and knew no more until he found himself back in Knebworth in his bed.—T. H. S. ESCOTT, “Life of Lord Lytton.” BURGOYNE, John, 1722-1792. English general. Burgoyne continued to represent Preston until his death. Local annals have preserved an anecdote connected with his election in 1784. A party of his political opponents, assembled in a bar room of an inn, pro- posed playing a joke upon him, or, as they called it, “trotting the general.” A woolen manufacturer of the name of James Elton accordingly pulled out a valuable watch and, giving it to Burgoyne's servant, requested him to take it to his master and request him to inform them if he could tell them the time of the day. Burgoyne, unable, as we all probably are, to discover the point of the joke, but seeing that a liberty was at- tempted to be taken with him, placed the watch and a pair of pistols on a tray and desired his servant to accompany him to the persons who had despatched him upon the message. Arrived at the tap room, he asked each of the assembled party whether he was the owner of the watch. In view of the pistols no one was found to acknowledge the ownership, whereupon Burgoyne said, “Since the watch belongs to none of you gentlemen it remains my property," then, turning to his servant, he presented it to him, saying, “Take this watch and fob in remembrance of the Swan Inn at Bolton.” The chronicler states that Elton, whose stupid joke had thus rebounded upon him- self, bore the name of Jemmy Trotter to his dying day.-E. B. DE FONBLANQUE, "Life and Letters of John Burgoyne," citing "His- tory of Bolton-le-Moors" by P. A. Whittle. BURKE, Edmund, 1729-1797. British statesman. Burke came to London with a cultivated curiosity and in no spirit of desperate de- termination to make his fortune. That the study of law interested him cannot be doubt. ed, for everything interested him, particularly the stage. Like the sensitive Irishman that he was, he lost his heart to Peg Woffington on the first opportunity.-AUGUSTINE BIRRELL, in The Contemporary Review, July, 1886. Burke, being one day at a country fair, observed a lot of boys at a show of attrac- tive aspect, looking on with eager and long- ing countenances, but evidently with pockets too empty to enable them to penetrate to the interior. Burke forthwith went up to the showman and agreed for the admittance of the whole youthful crowd at his expense. On his friend asking him the reason for this strange proceeding, "I could not,” he said, Burke, Edmund 86 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES "miss the opportunity of making so many sories. "I have,” he said, "plenty of such urchins happy." things at my command, but I am afraid to make use of them, simply because I am afraid "I impute inattention to the petitions of of making false quantities in their use and these poor people not to the policy of dis- of incurring ridicule thereby from people couraging beggars, but to unwillingness to. who would avail themselves of my defects to part with money.” “That old fellow," ob- laugh at and perhaps to correct me."--REV. served a friend one day to Burke, “will no J. RICHARDSON, “Recollections." doubt spend the sixpence you have given him in gin.” “Well," replied Burke, "if he Burke had once risen in the House of even do so, the poor wretch seems to have Commons, with some papers in his hand on had so few of the enjoyments of this life, that the subject on which he intended to make a it would be churlish to grudge him this motion, when a rough-hewn member readily chance of an occasional pleasure.”—PETER started up and said: “Mr. Speaker, I hope BURKE, “The Public and Domestic Life of the the honorable gentleman does not mean to Right Honorable Edmund Burke." read that large bundle of papers and to bore us with a long speech into the bargain." Where a loud-tongued talker was in com Mr. Burke was so swollen, or so near suf- pany, Edmund Burke declined all claims up focated, with rage, as to be incapable of on attention, and Samuel Johnson, whose utterance and absolutely ran out of the ears were not quick, seldom lent them to house.—JOHN MOTTLEY, “Joe Miller's Jest his conversation, though he loved the man Book.” and admired his talents.-RICHARD CUMBER- LAND, "Memoirs." At the beginning of the session of 1791, Fox made some reference to the French Johnson, who denied him scarcely any Revolutionary government in tenor extremely other talent or merit, would not admit that distasteful to Burke, who failed in his at- he possessed wit; he always got into the tempt to reply at the moment. No oppor- mire, he said.JAMES PRIOR, "Edmund tunity occurred until some months later, Burke." when, on May 6, the debate came to be re- Whenever Burke found himself indis- newed. All this time Burke had been nurs- posed he ordered a kettle of water to be kept ing his wrath and now poured it forth seeth- boiling, of which he drank large quantities, ing hot upon his ancient friend. He brought a speech of tremendous vehemence to con- sometimes as much as four or five quarts in clusion in these lamentable words: “It is a morning, without any mixture or infusion, and as hot as he could bear. His manner indiscreet at any period, but especially at was to pour out about a pint at a time in my time of life, to provoke enemies, or give a basin, and drink it with a spoon, as if it my friends occasion to desert me. Yet if my had been soup. Warm water, he said, would firm and steadfast adherence to the British relax and nauseate, but hot water was the Constitution place me in such a dilemma, I finest stimulant and most powerful restora- am ready to risk it, and with my last words tive in the world. He certainly thought it to exclaim: ‘Fly from the French consti- a sovereign cure for every complaint, and tution.'” Here Fox broke in with a re- not only took it himself, but prescribed it, monstrance, saying there was no injury to with the confidence of a Sangrado, to every friendship. “Yes, yes," Burke vociferated, patient that came his way.—Dublin Uni- "there is a loss of friends. I know the price versity Magazine, January, 1870. of my conduct. Our friendship is at an end." When the House rose that same night it was Edmund Burke, it has been remarked, raining, and Mr. Curwen, a member who seldom introduced Latin quotations in his sat on the same benches with Burke, offered speeches. Dr. Summer, in conversation with him a seat in his carriage to go home. him, asked him the reason for such omissions Burke immediately began referring with bit- from declamations, which, splendid as they terness to some of the passages in the debate, are, would have had still greater claims to so bitterly that Curwen hazarded something admiration if illustrated by pertinent em in a contrary sense. "What !” exclaimed bellishments of classic lore. It would not, Burke, seizing the checkstring, "are you one the provost observed, arise from want of of these people? Let me down.” It is said memory on the part of the great orator, nor that Curwen kept his companion in the from paucity of materials, nor from pro carriage by main force and that when they priety of adaptation. Burke admitted the reached his house Burke alighted and left fact that he made but little use of such acces- I him without a word of acknowledgment.-- 87 Burto, Edmund OF THE GREAT HERBERT MAXWELL in “The Nineteenth Cen: tury and After," July, 1895. During the trial of Warren Hastings, Dr. Parr was among the throng in the ante- room and went about in his pedantic fashion growling out praises of the speeches of Fox and Sheridan, but making no reference to Burke. “Did you like my speech, doctor?" Burke asked at length. “No, Edmund,” said Parr; "it was oppressed by metaphor, dis- located by parentheses and debilitated by amplification.”—The Gentleman's Magazine, April, 1879. Wit Their first duty, he [Lord Thurlow, who had been suspected of intriguing with the prince regent during the temporary dis- ability of George III.) said, was to preserve the rights of that sovereign entire, so that, when God should permit him to recover, he might not find himself in a worse situation than before his illness. The Chancellor dwelt on his own feelings of grief and gratitude, and wrought himself up at last to these cele- brated words: "and when I forget my king, may my God forget me.” It seems scarcely possible to exaggerate the strong impression which this half sentence made. Within the House itself the effect was perhaps not so satisfactory. Wilkes, who was standing un- der the throne, eyed the Chancellor askance, and muttered, “God forget you! He'll see you damned first.” Burke at the same mo- ment exclaimed, with equal wit and no pro- faneness, "The best thing that can happen to you.”—EARL OF STANHOPE, “Life of the Right Honorable William Pitt." Lord John Russell states that Burke, on hearing this, remarked, “And the best thing He can do for him.”—Quarterly Reviero, April, 1861. [Pitt satisfied himself with the exclamation, "Oh, the scoundrel.”] Burke said Lord Sandwich had so lost all credit that no man would take his evi. dence even against himself.--GEORGE ROSE, "Diaries and Correspondence.” As even Homer sometimes sleeps, 80 Burke sometimes blunders; but he was always ready to turn ill-consequence aside. In 1772 he spoke of the minister coming down with his budget, attended by his creatures, beasts clean and unclean. "The dull minister," he added, "emptied one-half the house by his dullness. A duller member following sent away another half; and at one still more tedious another half of the House scattered in dismay.” At this Burke's hearers laughed. He knew wherefor. "Sir," said he to the Speaker, "I take the blunder to myself and confess my satisfaction at having said any. thing that can put the House in good humor.” -W. S. JOHNSTONE, "Book of Parliamentary Anecdote." During one day at Sir Joshua Reynolds's, Dr. Johnson repeated his gradation of liquors -claret for boys, port for men and brandy for heroes. “Then,” said Burke, “let me have claret; I love to be a boy and have the care- less gaiety of boyish days.”—PETER BURKE. If English punning be a proscribed spe- cies of wit ... yet classical puns take rank in all lands and languages. Burke's pun on the "divine right of kings and toastmas- ters"-de jure de-vino-perhaps stands at the head of its class.-GEORGE CROLEY, “Life of George IV.” Boswell, speaking in the club of an inten- tion of going to view the Isle of Man, Burke repeated Pope's words, “The proper study of mankind is man.”—ROBERT BISSET, “Life of Edmund Burke." Edmund Burke's pun on Brockleby's name is a good instance of elaborate inge- nuity with which the great orator adorned his conversation and his speeches. Preemi- nent among the advertising quacks of the day was Dr. Rock. It was therefore natural that Brocklesby should express some surprise at being accosted by Mr. Burke as Dr. Rock, a title at once infamous and ridiculous. “Don't be offended,” said Mr. Burke, with a laugh; “Your name is Rock; I'll prove it algebraic- ally: Brock less B equals Rock."-Harper's Magazine, June, 1862. Mr. Fox, or Mr. Burke, said of him (Lord Thurlow] that he looked wiser than any man ever was. Burke, I think, speaking of his unbending manners in Parliament and his courteous behavior when in the presence of the king, said, “Thurlow is a strong oak at Westminster and a willow at St. James's."- LORD ELDON, “Anecdote Book.” Burke was a very indolent man and once, talking of the North-American Indians, said: “They enjoy the highest boon of Heaven, supreme and perfect indolence."-LORD BROUGHTON, “Recollections," quoting R. B. Sheridan. On the first day (in the autumn of 1791) that Mr. Burke ever dined with Mr. Pitt, it was in a partie quarrée at Downing street, the others being Lord Grenville and the then Speaker, Lord Addington. Mr. Burke endeavored to alarm Mr. Pitt on the aggressive nature of French principles and the propagandism of revolution. Mr. Pitt Burnside, General Burr, Aaron WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES made rather light of the danger and said in colloquial phrase that “this country and con- stitution were safe to the day of judgment." “Yes," said Mr. Burke quickly, “but 'tis the day of no judgment that I am afraid of.” This anecdote the writer took down many years ago from the mouth of one of the party.-Quarterly Review, March, 1845. BURNSIDE, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881. American general and statesman. Entering upon his second year, Cadet Burnside's soldierly bearing and perfection in drill secured his appointment as cadet-corpo- ral, and he also became somewhat noted for the practical jokes with which he initiated the newly appointed cadets. One of these, who came from the far West, had such a profusion of long, bleached sandy hair hang- ing down over his shoulders while his face was partially covered with a light red beard, that he was at once nicknamed "The Bison.” A day or so after his arrival he was met by Cadet Heth, who told him that he could not be aware of the regulations of the academy, or he would have been to the barber-shop; and that cadets who did not have their hair cut and their whiskers trimmed by the cadet bar- ber, within twenty-four hours after their ar- rival at the academy, were liable to be im- prisoned twenty days, during which time they would be fed on bread and water only. “The Bison” innocently fell into the trap and asked his informant if he would kindly show him the cadet barber-shop. This was exactly what was wanted and the newcomer was eg. corted to the room occupied by Burnside and Heth, which had been arranged somewhat to resemble a barber-shop. A large chair was placed in the center of the room, and at its side was a table, on which were arranged hair brushes, combs, scissors, cologne water and perfumery. Burnside, personating the cadet barber, was in his shirt sleeves, with a large white towel pinned before him like an apron. When asked if he could cut the hair off and shave the new cadet before drumbeat for evening parade, he replied that he thought he could. The victim accordingly took his seat and Burnside began to ply the scissors, timing his movements by his watch. He had cut the hair from one side of the young man's head and had trimmed the beard from one side of his face, when the drum beat and he said, “I must go to parade, but if you will return in an hour I will finish the job." They accordingly left, taking with them their vic- tim, from whom they departed at the door. It so happened that just then the superin- tendent of the academy came along and “The Bison" seeing several of the cadets around him take off their hats and caps, took his hat off also, his appearance exciting a roar of laughter from the cadets who saw him. The superintendent angrily asked him how he came to appear in such a half-shorn condition, to which the prompt reply was, “The cadet barber is cutting my hair and shaving me ac- cording to regulations.” “Cadet barber," ex- claimed the superintendent, "where is the cadet barber?" "Up in the cadet barber-shop,” was the reply, pointing to the North bar- racks. “Come with me, sir," said the super- intendent, "and show me this cadet barber." “The Bison” accordingly led the way to the room in which he had been partially despoiled of his locks. On entering the superintendent saw on the floor the evidences of the ton- sorial operation, while Cadets Burnside and Heth, lying on their beds, were roaring with laughter. “So,” said the superintendent, "this is the cadet barber-shop, and pray who is the barber?” Burnside arose to his feet and, paying the usual military salute, said, "I am, sir; I am the one to be blamed." "Well," replied the superintendent, “let me see you finish your job.” The young man was told to resume his seat in the chair and Burnside cut off the remainder of the hair and beard, receiving for some time the sobriquet of the “cadet barber.” While at home on a previous visit Lieuten- ant Burnside had made many acquaintances at the neighboring town of Hamilton, Ohio. Among them was a Kentucky belle, who unit- ed to the vivacity of the North the soft and languid style of the South. She was highly educated and her industry in acquiring knowledge was only surpassed by her con- versational powers to impart it to others. The young officer was dazzled by her personal beauty and accomplishments, charmed by her affability and bewitched by her fascinations. Offering his hand, it was accepted, the neces- sary license was procured and on the appoint- ed day the young couple stood up before a clergyman to be united in wedlock. Asked whether he would take the bride to be his wedded wife, Burnside responded affirmative- ly, but when the question was put to her, whether she would take him to be her hus- band she said No! and could not be prevailed upon to change her mind. This, of course, terminated the proposed marriage, to the great annoyance of the disappointed bride- groom. The amazement with which youth re- ceives its first defeat in love came to deaden the smart of the rebuff and then the flame which Cupid had so suddenly kindled was extinguished without a sigh. A few years afterwards, a distinguished Ohio lawyer ob- 89 Burnside, General OF THE GREAT Burr, Aaron tained from the same lady a promise that she | sided over its deliberations. On a particular would marry him and the wedding day was occasion it was the duty of young Burr to fixed. He showed her, on the way to be mar take the chair. At the hour of meeting he ried, a revolver, and told her that she would took his seat as president. Dr. Smith had not return either his wife or a corpse. Prompted then arrived, but shortly after business had either by love or by fear she replied, "I commenced he entered. Burr, leaning on one will," and she made a most devoted wife. arm of the chair (for, although now sixteen By a curious coincidence, when during the years of age, he was too small to reach both rebellion General Burnside was placed in arms at the same time), began lecturing command of the military district of Ohio, the Professor Smith for his non-attendance at an lady's mother and sister were arrested as earlier hour, remarking that a different ex- they were about to go South, carrying corre ample to younger members was expected of spondence and munitions of war concealed on him and expressing a hope that it might not their persons. General Burnside ordered them again be necessary to recur to the subject. sent through the lines into “Dixie," and the Having finished his lecture to the great husband of his old lady love had hard work amusement of the society, he requested the to obtain from President Lincoln permission professor to resume his seat. The incident, as for them to return to their home.—BEN: may be well imagined, long served as a col. PERLEY POORE, “Life of Burnside.” lege joke. “Did you hear what I've been saying?” After his return from Europe in 1812, he he asked of each of his division generals as met a maiden lady in Broadway somewhat he issued orders on the night of the battle of advanced in life. He had not seen her for Antietam. “Yes.” “Then say it over.” And many years. As she passed him by she ex- the generals, like school boys in a class, re claimed to a gentleman on whose arm she peated their lessons.—New York Herald, Sep was resting, “Colonel Burr!” Hearing his tember 14, 1881. name mentioned he suddenly stopped and looked her in the face. “Colonel," said she, BURR, Aaron, 1756-1836. American states- "you do not recollect me.” “I do not, mad- man. am," was the reply. “It is Miss K., sir.” When Aaron was about four years old he “What,” said he, “Miss K. yet?” The lady, had some misunderstanding with his pre somewhat piqued, reiterated, “Yes, sir; Miss ceptors, in consequence of which he ran away K. yet.” Feeling the delicacy of his situa- and was not found until the third or fourth tion, and the unfortunate error he had com- day after his departure from home. mitted, he gently took her hand and emphati- cally remarked: “Well, madam, then I ven- When about ten years old Aaron evinced ture to assert that it is not the fault of my a desire to make a voyage to sea; and with this object in view ran away from his uncle Edwards and came to the city of New York. The best definition of law, he said, was He entered on board an outward bound veg- “whatever is boldly asserted and plausibly sel as cabin boy. He was, however, pursued maintained." by his guardian and his place of retreat dis Mr. P. had long been an inmate of his covered. Young Burr, one day, while busily house; he had been connected with him in employed, perceived his uncle coming down many respects and for many years. Colonel the wharf, and immediately ran up the Burr and two other lawyers were discussing shrouds and clambered to the topgallant a proposed motion in a chancery suit in which masthead. Here he remained and peremp- P. was the plaintiff, the colonel himself hav- torily refused to come down, or be taken ing an interest in the result. P. was then out down, until all the preliminaries of a treaty of town. A letter was brought in and handed of peace were agreed upon. To the doctrine to the colonel, which, telling us to proceed of unconditional submission he never gave his with our debate, he carefully read and then consent. placed in his customary manner on the table, In the college there was a literary club, with the address downward. Our discussion consisting of the graduates and professors, proceeded earnestly for some ten minutes at and still known as the Clio-Sophic Society. least, when the colonel, who had listened with Dr. Samuel S. Smith, subsequently president great attention, asked in his gentlest tones : of the college, was then (1773) a professor. “What effect would the death of P. have on With him young Burr was not a favorite and the suit?" We started and asked eagerly their dislike was mutual. The attendance of why he put the question. "P. is dead,” he re- the professors was supposed to be regular. plied, “as this letter informs me; will the The members of the society in rotation pre- suit abate?” The colonel himself was ill at sex.” Burr, Aaron Butler, Gonoral 90 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the time and unable to leave the sofa; and, to Colonel Aaron Burr. “Good heavens, sir," even if there was some affectation in his de said she, "for what purpose is this letter des. meanor, there was certainly remarkable col. tined to remain in your possession ?” “Mad- lectedness. ame, to be disposed of by you, at your discre- tion," was the reply. “My kind friend,” ex- "Now move slowly; never negotiate in a hurry.” I remember a remark made on this claimed she, “how can I ever repay such an subject, which appeared to be original and act of unparalleled magnanimity? I, who wise. There is a saying, "Never put off till have spoken so unkindly, so unjustly, of so to-morrow what you can do to-day.” “This is noble a friend?” “Ever afterwards," said a maxim," said he, "for sluggards; a better Davis, "she almost broke her neck in extend- reading of the maxim is, Never do to-day ing her head out of the carriage window to what you can as well do to-morrow; for be greet me as I passed."--Harper's Magazine, cause something may occur to make you re- July, 1857. gret your premature action.'”-MATTHEW L. DAVIS, “Memoir of Aaron Burr." BUTLER, Benjamin Franklin, 1818-1893. American general and statesman. When he received a sum of money of his Student own, he used to make a kind of well of books for its reception in the middle of his large, When a student at college it was binding crowded table; and then lucky was the appli- on students to attend college church-a duty cant who made the first claim on it. He gave which to him was very irksome. On one occa- and gave and gave until the well ran dry, sion he heard the preacher (who was also a and was filled in again with law papers and professor) advancing propositions like the books; when, too often, a creditor would pre- following: (1) That the elect alone would be sent himself and go away disappointed.- saved. (2) That among those who, by the world, were called Christians probably not JAMES PARTON, "Life of Aaron Burr.” more than one in a hundred belonged really “Was Hamilton a gentleman ?” inquired and truly to the elect. (3) That the others, some foreigner with a note-book. The reply by reason of their Christian privileges, would is filled with quiet resentment, “Sir, I met suffer more hereafter than the heathen, who him.”-F. S. OLIVER, “Life of Alexander Ham had never heard the gospel at all. Mr. Butler, ilton.” whose audacity was as conspicuous as his lack of reverence, made a note of these propo- The late honest, but poor, Matthew L. sitions and on the strength of them drew up Davis, his executor, received from him, while a petition to the faculty, soliciting exemption living, trunks full of feminine correspondence, from further attendance at church, as only by which Burr sought to make Davis's for- preparing himself a more terrible future. tune, but which were generously returned, For, said he, the congregation here amounts without fee or reward, to the grateful recip to six hundred persons, and nine of these are ients. Lobbying—now an anomaly-was professors. Now, if only one in a hundred is then in full force. Several important bills to be saved, it follows that three even of the had passed the New York legislature and faculty must be damned. He (Benjamin F. some were so uncharitable as to intimate that Butler) being a mere student, could not ex- improper influences had been resorted to. pect to be saved in preference to a professor. Davis was accused of being engaged in bring Far be it from him, he said, to cherish so ing about the successful result. A lady of presumptuous a hope. Nothing remained rank and fashion condescended-and ladies for him, therefore, but perdition. In this rarely condescend to mingle in anything out melancholy posture of affairs he was natural- of their appropriate sphere, the limits of the ly anxious to abstain from anything that domestic circle-to say hard things of Davis; might aggravate his future punishment; and, she went so far as to intimate that she could as church attendance had been shown in last calmly look on and see him hung. Davis Sunday's sermon to have this influence on went to her door, rang the bell, sent up his the non-elect, he trusted that the faculty name, and was promptly answered that she would for all time coming exempt him from was not, and never would be, at home to Davis. “Pray, ask her if she has heard from it. The result of this petition, written out her husband at Niagara ?” He was forth- in an imposing manner, and formally present- with invited upstairs. The lady entered in / ed to the faculty, was that Butler received a trepidation and alarm. “Has any calamity public reprimand for irreverence and, but for happened my beloved husband ?” said she. the influence of one or two friends of the “This will explain all,” Davis said, handing family, would have been expelled.-Harper's her a letter in her own chirography, addressed | Magazine, August, 1871. 9: Bart, Aaron Butler, General OF THE GREAT Soldier ment was.” Haggerty gave a very exact The call for troops found General Butler account of it and I said: “I am very much | obliged to you, Captain. You see, gentlemen, arguing a case in court, but he dropped his law and the next morning at eleven o'clock he it will be convenient during this war to have had his regiment, the Sixth, drawn up on some volunteer officer along with us, so that Boston Commons ready for duty. Then he if we get into a like predicament with Na- effected a loan of $50,000 to help off the poleon we shall have somebody who knows troops and when an order came from Wash- what was done under like circumstances." ington for the full brigade he was appointed The victory of Marengo, which produced to the command.-Nero York Times, January greater results to Napoleon than any other 12, 1893. in his career, was confessedly fought in the utmost confusion without any plan or order Sometimes it was discussed before me of battle, nearly lost by a series of blunders, how superior all West Pointers were to volun- and won by an accident of which and over teer officers. I thought I would put a stop to which Napoleon had neither knowledge nor that, so I invited some of the officers to a din- control.-BENJAMIN F. BUTLER, “Butler's Book.” ner party at my headquarters with some of my personal staff who were volunteerg. I be General Butler is a notable raconteur lieved that at that dinner party such dig. | and is particularly clever when telling any- cussions might be renewed, so I called Cap- | thing in which his own name occurs, whether tain Haggerty, of my staff, a very bright the hit be at or by him. While he was in young lawyer, and told him to go to the li command at New Orleans a native Louisian- brary and read the descriptions of one or ian was observed one day by a wag reading a two of Napoleon's famous battles, naming staring placard on a wall in a public street, Marengo, and to ascertain the pivotal point “Buy your shirts at Moody's." The reader in- or movement upon which the battles turned, quired of the wag what that meant. “Oh," 80 as to be able clearly to tell me what it said the joker, in a solemn tone, “that is one was when I asked him. We all came to din of the edicts of the tyrannical Butler.” The ner in a very pleasant mood, but between Louisianian remarked, “But I don't want any one or two of the officers, regulars or volun shirts.” “Well,” said the wag, "you'd better teers, the discussion broke out and became buy a few; it is the safest course to comply quite animated and I feared that it would go with the order, for Butler is a perfect despot, so far that it might become necessary for the you know.” So the frightened Creole sought general to take notice of it. The claim was out Moody and bought a quarter dozen shirts. very loudly made that nobody could be fit to In due time a Paris paper arrived in New command troops who had not been to West Orleans in which the facts were narrated, as Point. I never had been there except to ex- proving that Butler was both tyrannical and amine the institution, as a member of the mean, using his power to compel citizens to board of visitors, having been appointed in buy shirts of one Moody, who was undoubted- 1857 by Jefferson Davis while Secretary of ly his partner.-Harper's Magazine, August, War, for my supposed military knowledge 1868. as a civilian. I at that time held the title of brigadier general and was met there by Shortly after our arrival in New Orleans General Scott, who reminded me that he was the sisters in charge of the Orphan Asylum of the oldest and I was the youngest general in St. Elizabeth called upon the general and the United States. I knew the young gentle- represented that institution as in a state of men at the table meant no harm, but I literal destitution from lack of provisions thought it well enough to give them a little and the money with which to procure them. lesson. I said: “You gentlemen of the regu This unfortunate condition of suffering was lars can doubtless give me, a volunteer gen- one of the legitimate consequences of active eral, some information by answering a ques- secession and no one could be held responsible tion. Can any of you tell me the movement for it but the leaders of the rebellion. But of Napoleon at the Battle of Marengo which the general did not stop to discuss the ques- was the one upon which he wholly relied for tion of responsibility; he knew that here were his success in that famous battle?” They several hundred children crying for bread and looked one to the other and the other to the with characteristic promptitude gave them one, but nobody replied. I then turned to an order on the Chief Commissary for a very Captain Haggerty, who sat well down the large amount of stores—to be charged to his table, and said: “Captain, can you answer personal account--adding the sum of five that question?” “Yes, General, I think I hundred dollars in money from his own pock- can." "Then explain to us what that move. | et.-Atlantic Monthly, July, 1863, Butlor, General 92 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES During an interview between the general you to see them for me.”—Atlantic Monthly, and Rev. Dr. Leacock (rector of Grace Church July, 1863. in New Orleans, and one of the three Episco- Politician pal clergymen who refused to read the prayer for the president and were therefore sent When General Butler made a partial North as prisoners in my charge) in which tour of New York State in 1884 as the candi- the general urged upon the doctor his views date of the People's Party he traveled in what on the injurious influence of disloyalty in was then the most elegant private car in the the pulpit, sustaining his argument by pro country. ... Said he: “I have deliberately lific quotations from Scripture, recited with chosen this car and would have got a better an accuracy and appositeness that few theo one, if there were such a thing. The people logians could exceed, the doctor replied: | like their champion to look well and to cut “But, General, your insisting upon taking as much dash as they would if they could. the oath of allegiance is causing half my 1... When I was a young man I ran for church members to perjure themselves.” “If Congress in Massachusetts against Richard that is the case, I am glad that I have not H. Dana, the author of 'Two Years Before had the spiritual charge of your church for the Mast. He led a simple life in the coun- the last nine years” (just the term of Dr. try and when he canvassed his district he Leacock's pastorate), the general answered rode around in an old dusty chaise-not a promptly. After a lengthy conversation the tumble-down thing, but yet far from a new doctor finally asked: “Well, General, are you and good carriage. I determined to make a going to shut up the churches ?” “No, sir; far better appearance and impression. I I am more likely to shut up the ministers.”— hired a very showy carriage and four horses Atlantic Monthly, July, 1863. and went around the district in the greatest style that any candidate for Congress ever It will be remembered that the trans- put on. One day Mr. Dana spoke in one of port on board of which General Butler took the towns and complained of me. He said passage for Ship Island was run ashore on that he had met his opponent on the road and some shoal out South and for a time was in that he had been covered with dust. When great peril. There was more or less alarm I got to that town I told the people that I among the soldiers. The boats were got had heard that Mr. Dana had complained that ready to land the troops and among the first I had covered him with dust and then I add- to rush for a safe place was a chaplain. As ed: 'Stick to me and I will promise you that he was about to step from the transport to you will take no man's dust.' That caught the boat General Butler seized him by the col- the crowd and was quoted until it became the lar, exclaiming: "Look here, my long-haired cry of my partizans. Oh, I believe that if friend, you came here to pray for us, and you are going to stand for office you want to now, the first time we really need your serv appear as well as you possibly can.”—New ices, you desert your post. Step back." York Sun, January 12, 1893. Harper's Magazine, September, 1862. In his speech on the platform at the Chi- I was plied with every conceivable story cago Democratic convention, General Butler of heart-rending woe and misery, related to pointed to the picture of General Washington induce the granting of passes, which the gen above him and said in substance that the eral, in consequence of the fact that in almost father of his country could not have passed every instance where he had yielded to such the present civil service examination for a importunities his confidence had been abused twelve-hundred dollar clerkship. In proof of by the carrying of supplies and information this he mentioned the fact that in Washing to the rebel army, had ordered me invariably ton's will, which was in his own handwrit. to refuse. Ordinarily I succeeded in steeling ing, the word "clothes” was spelled “cloaths." This allusion to Washington's will was an- my heart against these urgent entreaties; but occasionally, some story peculiarly har. other instance of a great lawyer going wrong. A hundred years ago the word was rowing in its details, seemed to demand a special effort in behalf of the applicant, and commonly spelled as Washington spelled it. -American Law Review, July-August, 1884. I would go to the general and, in the despera- tion of my cause, exclaim, “General, you must The story in regard to his wholesale ap- see some of these people. I know, if you propriation of silver spoons while he was in would only hear their stories, you would command at New Orleans has been industri- give them passes.” “You are entirely cor ously circulated and still survives his re- rect, Captain," he would reply. “I am sure peated denials. . . . As late as the campaign I should, and that is precisely why I want of 1888, when he was making speeches for 93 Butler, General OF THE GREAT Harrison in the Northwest, the silver spoon to my side, for fear of letting his personal incident was brought conspicuously forward. | feeling against me sway his decisions the op- He spoke on one occasion on a platform posite way.'”—The Green Bay, February, against a tall tree. Some one had thrown a 1911. line over the branches of the tree and had In one of his cases he requested that no- attached to it several spoons. When General tice be given by publication. “In what pa- Butler was in the midst of his speech the per ?" asked the clerk. “In the Lowell Adver- spoons were lowered until they dangled in tiser," the lawyer replied. This paper was a front of his face. Stopping in his address he Jackson organ and it was little short of of- looked at them a moment until the laughter fensive to mention in a Middlesex County in the crowd had subsided and said: “Those court. The clerk drew himself up and with are some of the spoons I did not get at New disdainful nonchalance said: "I don't know Orleans." His audience cheered this remark any such paper.” “I pray you, Mr. Clerk," and he was allowed, without further inter- General Butler interrupted, "do not inter- ruption, to finish his speech.—New York rupt the proceedings of the court. If you Times, January 12, 1893. begin to tell what you don't know there will In his campaign as a friend of labor, be no time for anything else.”—New York notices were posted in the Lowell factories Times, January 12, 1893. that employees who voted for him and his General Butler, who had drooping eye- eleven-hour day would be discharged. He lids (cross-eyed] and was near-sighted, was called a public meeting and, after a speech trying a case in which John P. Treadwell was protesting against this interference with the opposed to him. Treadwell, while reading law suffrage, he said, "As God lives, as I live, to the court, inadvertently turned towards by the great Jehovah, if one man is driven the jury. Butler said: “That will not do, from his employment by those men because Brother Treadwell, reading law to the court of his vote, I will lead you to make Lowell and looking at the jury.” When the general what it was twenty-five years ago—a sheep arose to reply and read his citation of the pasture and a fishing place and I will com law Treadwell thought Butler was doing the mence by applying the torch to my own same thing and said: "Ah, Brother Butler, house. Men of Lowell, you have right arms you are doing what you rebuked me for, and you have torches !” This threat brought reading law to the court and looking at the down the offensive notices and resulted in his jury.” The general, with a most comical election.—New York Times, January 12, grimace, looking round to the bar and the 1893. audience, said: "You can't tell which way I Lawyer am looking.”—JOSEPI A. WILLARD, “Half Century with Judges and Lawyers.” He always carried with his papers to court a lunch case containing a sandwich and One story about him which survived for usually a bottle of beer. It was his habit to many years was that when a young lawyer remain in the court room continuously, taking he won a case for a factory girl in Lowell his lunch in that way. In the years when he by attaching the wheel in the mill where the was in robust health the beverage with which girl had been employed. When he finally he accompanied his sandwich was of a strong thought it worth while to deny this story in er character.-New York Times, January 23, | print, he said that he had allowed it to be 1893. circulated for about fifty years, not feeling it his duty to expose it, because so many lies Mr. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes of had been told against him that he thought the United States Supreme Court recently re- he had a proprietary right in the only one called a personal anecdote connected with the told in his favor.–New York Times, January late General Benjamin F. Butler. "General | 12, 1893. Butler was on his way to Boston to try a case before Judge Shaw. I met him on the Congressman train and asked him if I might look at the The question of adjournment was now notes on the case. Butler acquiesced. To under consideration and General Butler had my astonishment I saw written on the top of stepped over to Mr. Randall's desk for a the page, 'Insult the judge.' "You see,' said private consultation. Butler favored a Sun- Butler in answer to my question, 'I first get day session. Randall opposed. “Bad as I Judge Shaw's ill will by insulting him. Later, am I have some respect for God's day," said in the case he will have decisions to make for the Democrat, “and I don't think it proper or against me. As he is an exceedingly just to hold a session of Congress on that day.” man, and as I have insulted him, he will lean “Oh, pshaw,” responded Butler, “doesn't the Byron, Lord 94 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Bible say that it is lawful to pull your ox or ver, from which, though perfectly recovered ass out of a pit on the Sabbath day? You in other respects, I still continued weak. This have seventy-three asses on your side of the dilapidated condition of mine---perhaps my House that I want to get out of this ditch to lameness more than anything else ——seems to morrow and I think I am engaged in a holy have touched Byron's sympathies. He saw work.” “Don't do it, Butler,” pleaded Sam; me a stranger in a crowd; the very person “I have some respect for you that I don't likely to tempt the oppression of a bully, as I want to lose. I expect some day to meet you was utterly incapable of resisting it; and, in a better world.” “You'll be there as you in all the kindness of a generous nature, he are here," retorted Butler, quick as thought, took me under his charge. The first words “a member of the lower House.”—Harper's he ever spoke to me, as far as I recollect Magazine, May, 1875. them, were, "If any fellow bullies you, tell BYRON, George Gordon Noel, Baron Byron me, and I'll thrash him, if I can.” His pro- tection was not long needed—I was soon of Rochdale, 1788-1824. English poet and strong again and able to maintain my own; nobleman. but, as long as his help was wanted, he never Youth failed to render it.—"An Octogenarian, Under When Lord Byron and Mr. Peel were at the Crown," 1864. Harrow together, a tyrant, some few years (This same author tells an incident of older, whose name was — , claimed a right kindness of heart on the part of Byron later to fag little Peel, which claim (whether right- in life: At the time when Coleridge was in ly or wrongly, I know not) Peel resisted. His resistance, however, was in vain: - great embarrassment, Rogers, when calling on Byron, chanced to mention it. He immedi- not only subdued him, but determined also ately went to his writing desk and brought to punish the refractory slave; and proceeded back a check for a hundred pounds, and in- forthwith to put this determination in prac- sisted on its being forwarded to Coleridge. tise, by inflicting a kind of bastinado on the “I did not like taking it,” said Rogers, who inner fleshy side of the boy's arm, which, told me the story, "for I knew that he was during the operation, was twisted round with some degree of technical skill, to render the in want himself.”) pain more acute. While the stripes were suc The roof of the library of Trinity Col. ceeding each other, and poor Peel was writh | lege is surmounted by three figures in stone, ing under them, Byron saw and felt for the representing Faith, Hope and Charity. These misery of his friend, and, although he knew figures were accessible only from a window of that he was not strong enough to fight - a particular room in Neville's Court, which with any hope of success, and that it was happened to be occupied by the poet. To dangerous even to approach him, he advanced reach them, after getting out of this win- to the scene of action and, with a blush of dow, any one had to climb a perpendicular rage and tears in his eyes and a voice trem wall, sustaining himself by a frail leaden bling between terror and indignation, asked spout. He had then to traverse the sloping very humbly if — would be pleased to tell roof of a long range of buildings, by moving him how many stripes he meant to inflict. carefully on his hands and knees, at the im- “Why,” returned the executioner, "you little minent risk of being precipitated fifty feet rascal, what is that to you?" "Because, if into the court below. When the library was you please,” said Byron, holding out his gained, a stone parapet had to be crossed arm, “I would take half.”—THOMAS MOORE, altogether a very dangerous performance in- "Life and Letters of Lord Byron." deed. Byron, however, duly performed the feat one Sunday morning, while the heads of Moore has published the legend that the dons and dignitaries were yet buried in Byron, in whose form Peel was, offered with their pillows. Before setting out he had ab- tears to take half the thrashing. But like stracted three surplices from the college other legendary historians, he is out in his chapel, which he bore with him in his danger- dates. The incident occurred in March or ous progress. When the bell at eight o'clock April; and Byron did not come to Harrow rang out its deep-toned summons to the usual until some months later.-Quarterly Review, morning devotions, and the fellows and under- July, 1891. graduates were hurrying on their way to the My acquaintance with Lord Byron began chapel, they were startled to behold Faith, very early in life, on my first going to school Hope and Charity clad in surplices which at Harrow. I was then just twelve years reached in snowy folds to their feet, while old. I was lame from an early accident and their heads were surmounted, helmet-wise, pale and tlin in consequence of a severe fe- with bedchamber water ewers. An inquiry 95 Byron, Lord OF THE GREAT was instituted by the indignant college au consumption." "Why?” “Because the ladies thorities, but it resulted in nothing. A few would all say, 'Look at that poor Byron, how select friends knew the truth and the rest interesting he looks in dying.'”—MOORE. of the college guessed who the author of the Byron had one preeminent fault-a fault outrage was; nevertheless, it was never brought home to him.-RALPH NEVILLE, "The which must be considered as deeply criminal by every one who does not, as I do, believe it Man of Pleasure." to have resulted from monomania. He had "No boy cornet,” says Trelawney, "en: a morbid love of a bad reputation. There joyed a practical joke more than Byron." was hardly an offense of which he would not, He relates that on their sea voyage together with perfect indifference, accuse himself. An from Genoa to Greece, the captain wore a old school fellow, who met him on the Conti- scarlet waistcoat and, as he was very stout, nent, told me that he would continually write Byron wished to see whether it would button | paragraphs against himself in foreign jour- around both of them. He got hold of it and, | nals and delight in their republication by while the captain was having a siesta, he, English newspapers as in the success of a standing on the gangway, with one arm in practical joke. Whenever anybody has re- the garment said: "Now put your arm in lated anything discreditable to Byron, assur- there; we will jump overboard and take the ing me it must be true, for he heard it from shine out of it,” and so they did, the geese himself, I always felt that he could not have and hens, which Trelawney had released, and spoken on worse authority and that, in all the two big dogs swimming about them. All probability, the tale was a pure invention. If the crew were laughing at the fun till the I could remember, and were willing to repeat, captain, hearing the row, came on deck, and the various misdoings which I have heard him seeing what was up, roared out: "My lord, from time to time attribute to himself, I you should know better than to make a mu could fill a volume. But I never believed tiny on board ship. I won't heave to, or low them. I very soon became aware of this er a boat; I hope you will both be drowned.” strange idiosyncrasy; it puzzled me to ac- “Then you will lose your frite” (for so the count for it; but there it was—a sort of dis- captain pronounced the word "freight”) eased and distorted vanity. The same eccen- shouted Byron. But they pacified the skip tric spirit would induce him to report things per later on.-RODEN NOEL, “Life of Byron.” that were false, with regard to his family, which anybody else would have concealed, Affectation and Peculiarities though true. He told me more than once Lord Byron, when he first dined with Mr. that his father was insane and killed him- Rogers, the banker-poet, to whose breakfasts self. I shall never forget the manner in I have been when a girl, was asked if he which he first told me this. While washing would take soup. “No; he never took soup." his hands and singing a gay Neapolitan air, “Would you take some fish ?” “No; he never he stopped, looked round at me, and said, took fish.” Presently he was asked if he "There was always madness in the family." would eat some mutton. "No; he never ate Then, after continuing his washing and his mutton.” Mr. Rogers then asked if he would song, he added, as if speaking of a matter of take a glass of wine. "No; he never tasted the slightest indifference, “My father cut his wine." It was then necessary to inquire what throat.” The contrast between the tenor of he did eat and drink and the answer was, the subject and the levity of the expression "Nothing but hard biscuits and soda water.” was fearfully painful; it was like a stanza Unfortunately neither hard biscuits nor soda of “Don Juan.” In this instance, I had no water were at hand, and he dined upon po- doubt that the fact was as he related it; but tatoes bruised down upon his plate and in speaking of it only a few years since to drenched with vinegar. Some days after an old lady [Mrs. Villiers, Lord Clarendon's wards, meeting Hobhouse, Rogers said to him, mother) in whom I had perfect confidence, "How long will Lord Byron persevere in his she assured me that it was not so. Mr. present diet?” He replied, “Just as long as Byron, who was her cousin, had been ex- you continue to notice it." Rogers subse- tremely wild, but was quite sane, and died quently ascertained that Byron, after leaving very quietly in his bed.—"An Octogenarian.” his house, had gone to a club in St. James's street and eaten a hearty meat-supper. - I have no personal knowledge whatever LADY DOROTHY NEVILL, “Under Five Reigns." of any evil act or any evil disposition of Lord Byron's. I once said this to a gentleman (the [Lord Sligo] described Byron after his Rev. Henry Drury), who was well acquainted illness at Patras looking in the glass and say with Byron's London life. He expressed him- ing, "I look pale; I should like to die of a self astonished at what I said. "Well,” I re- Byron, Lord 96 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES plied, “do you know any harm of him but | and down the room until three or four o'clock what he has told you himself?” “Oh, yes; a in the morning, and these hours, he often hundred things.” “I don't want you to tell confessed, were the most propitious to the me a hundred things; I shall be content with inspiration of his muse.- DR. JULIUS MIL- one.” Here the conversation was interrupted. LINGEN, “Memoirs of the Affairs of Greece." We were at dinner-there was a large party Lord Byron, saying to me the other day: and the subject was not again renewed at "What do you think of Shakespeare, Moore? table. But afterwards in the drawing room I think him a damned humbug.”—MOORE. Mr. Drury came up to me and said: "I have Told him [Sir Walter Scott] Lord Byron been thinking of what you said at dinner. I knew nothing of music, but still had a strong do not know any harm of Byron but what he feeling of some of those I had just sung, par- has told me himself.”—“An Octogenarian.” ticularly “When He Who Adores Thee"; that I frequently heard him say, “I especially I have sometimes seen the tears come into dread in this world two things to which I his eyes at some of my songs. Another great have reason to believe I am equally predis- | favorite of his was, "Though the Last Glimpse posed-growing fat and growing mad, and it of Erin," from which he confessedly bor- would be difficult for me to decide, were I rowed a thought for his “Corsair,” and he forced to make a choice, which of these con said to me, "It was shabby of me, Tom, not ditions I would choose in preference." To to acknowledge that theft.” “I dare say," avoid corpulence, not satisfied with renounc said Scott, “Byron's feelings and mine about ing the use of every kind of food which he music are pretty much the same.”—MOORE. deemed nourishing, he had recourse almost James Smith told me that he heard By- daily to strong drastic pills, of which extract ron say that he could not enter the “Maid of colocynth, gamboge, scammony, etc., were and the Magpie,” as he had never been inno- the chief ingredients; and, if he observed the cent of stealing a silver spoon.-LORD BROUGH- slightest increase in the size of his wrist or TON, “Recollections." waist, which he measured with scrupulous ex. actness every morning, he immediately sought Sir James Bland Burgess, who had some- to reduce it by taking large doses of Epsom thing to do with negotiating Jay's treaty, salts, besides the usual pills. ... Besides came into the room and said abruptly, "My the medicines I have mentioned, he had daily lord, a great battle has been fought in the recourse to soda powders and calcined mag- Low Countries and Bonaparte is entirely de- nesia, in order to neutralize the troublesome feated.” “But is it true?” said Lord Byron. acidities which the immoderate use of Rhen- “Yes; my lord; it is entirely true; an aide- ish wines and ardent spirits continually gen- de-camp arrived in town last night; he has erated in his debilitated stomach. Nothing been in Downing street this morning and I could be more strange, and at the same time have just seen him as he was going to Lady more injurious to health, than the regimen Wellington's. He thinks Bonaparte is in full which he had been induced to adopt, and to retreat towards Paris.” After an instant's which, during several years, he unalterably pause Lord Byron replied, “I am damned adhered. He rose at half past ten o'clock, sorry for it," and then, after another slight when, by way of breakfast, he took a large pause, he added, “I didn't know but I might basinful of a strong infusion of green tea, live to see Lord Castlereagh's head on a pole. without either sugar or milk, a drink that But I suppose I shan't now.”—GEORGE TICK- could not but prove exceedingly prejudicial to NOR, “Journal," June 16, 1815. a constitution so essentially nervous. At half Mr. (W. S.) Rose has been known to his past eleven he would set out on a two hours' own countrymen for some years as an orig. ride, and on his return his singular and only inal poet and accomplished Italian scholar. meal was served up. Having dined, he imme For the former character ne is indebted to a diately withdrew to his study, where he re little mock-chivalric poem, entitled, “Prog. mained until dark, when, more willingly than pectus of an Intended National Work, by W. at any other time, he would indulge in con & R. Whistlecraft.” Mr. Rose sent a copy of versation; and afterwards he would play at his poem to Murray, who, doubting its suc- draughts for a while, or take up some volume | cess with the public, transmitted it to Lord on light subjects—such as novels, memoirs Byron, then in Venice, requesting his opinion or travels. He had unfortunately contracted of it. His lordship returned it in a very the habit of drinking immoderately every short time with his “Beppo," telling his pub- evening and almost at every page he would lisher that he found the only way of getting take a glass of wine, and often of undiluted Rose's rhymes out of his head was to write Hollands, till he felt himself under the full something in the same way himself. “Beppo" influence of liquor. He would then pace up was immediately printed with great success 97 Byron, Lord OF THE GREAT and “Whistlecraft” came limping after as a and so much value did he attach to the white- follower of the same school.-North American ness of his hands, that in order not to suf- Review, October, 1824. fer “the winds of heaven to visit them too No consideration can now induce me to roughly” he constantly, and even within undertake anything on a Friday or a Sun- doors, wore gloves. The lameness, which he day; I am positive it would end unfortunate- had from his birth, was a source of actual ly if I did.-BYRON, quoted by Dr. Julius van misery to him and it was curious to notice Millingen, Scribner's Magazine, September, with how much coquetry he endeavored, by a thousand petty tricks, to conceal from stran- 1897. gers this unfortunate malformation.—DR. When the symptoms of immediate dan. JULIUS MILLINGEN, “Memoirs of the Affairs ger began to show themselves Lord Byron of Greece.” requested Dr. Millingen to inquire in the Domestic Affairs town "for any old and ugly witch.” The doc. tor laughed and he proceeded thus "with a A person who had for some time stood serious air”: “Never mind whether I am | high in his affection and confidence, observ- superstitious or not; but I again entreat you ing how cheerless and unsettled was the state to bring me the most celebrated one there is, both of his mind and prospects, advised him in order that she may examine whether this strenuously to marry; and, after much dis- sudden loss of my health does not depend on cussion, he consented. The next point for the evil eye. She may devise some means to consideration was-who was to be the object dissolve the spell.”-Quarterly Review, Janu- of his choice; and, while his friend mentioned ary, 1831. one lady, he himself named Miss Millbanke. Vanity To this, however, his adviser strongly object- ed-remarking that Miss Millbanke had at When Byron was at Cambridge, he was present no fortune, and that his embarrassed introduced to Scrope Davies by their mu- affairs would not allow him to marry without tual friend Matthews, who was afterwards one; and she was, moreover, a learned lady, drowned in the river Cam. After Matthews's which would not at all suit him. In conse- death Davies became Byron's particular quence of these representations, he agreed friend and was admitted to his rooms at all that his friend should write a proposal for hours. Upon one occasion he found the poet him to the other lady named, which was ac- in bed with his hair en papillote, upon which cordingly done; and an answer, containing a Scrope cried, “Ha, ha, Byron, I have at last refusal, arrived as they were, one morning, caught you acting the part of the Sleeping sitting together. “You see,” said Lord By. Beauty.” Byron, in a rage, exclaimed, “No, ron, “that Miss Millbanke is after all to be Scrope; the part of a damned fool, you should the person; I will write to her.” He accord- have said.” “Well, then, anything you please; ingly wrote on the moment and, as soon as but you have succeeded admirably in deceiv- he had finished, his friend, remonstrating still ing your friends, for it was my conviction strongly against his choice, took up the let. that your hair curled naturally." "Yes, natu- ter-but, on reading it over, observed, “Well, rally every night,” returned the poet; "but do really, this is a very pretty letter; it is a pity not, my dear Scrope, let the cat out of the it should not go. I never read a prettier bag, for I am as vain of my curls as a girl one.” “Then it shall go," said Byron; and, in of sixteen.” —CAPTAIN REES HOWELL GRONOW, so saying, sealed and sent off, on the instant, "Recollections." this fiat of his fate.—MOORE. He [Father Aucher] related to us that on October 27, 1836.—Lady George Murray the first arrival of the poet (1816) at the con- gave me an interesting account of Lady By- vent, quite unaware of his title, he addressed ron, whom she challenges anybody to know him no otherwise than as Mr. Byron. The without loving. The first present she made to nobleman asked him if he had a dictionary of Ada was a splendid likeness of Lord Byron, English proper names and, if so, to look up an edition of whose works is in her library, the word "Byron.” The hint of the lord was to which Ada had free access. She has done not misunderstood.-Bentley's Miscellany, nothing to prejudice her against her father. 1839. The celebrated “Fare Thee Well” was present- No petit maître could pay more sedulous ed in such a manner, as rather to take off attention than he did to external appearance, from the sentiment of the thing: He wrapped or consult with more complacency the looking. | it up in a number of unpaid bills and threw glass. Even when in negligée he studied the it into the room where she was sitting and nature of the postures he assumed as atten- | then rushed out of the house.-CAROLINE Fox, tively as if he had been sitting for his picture, "Journals.” Calhoun, John WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Campbell, Lord It is quite determined that Lord and a woman eat, of his taking no notice of her Lady Byron are to separate, though it is very friends, and not even asking her father or much against the inclination of the former. mother to his house when they were living at His conduct, according to every account, has the hotel a few doors off for some time last been very culpable. What is to be said, for spring ?-JOHN WISHAW, letter, March 27, instance, of his never sitting down to table | 1816, quoted by Lady Seymour, "The Pope with his wife, alleging that he disliked to see l of Holland House." CALHOUN, John Caldwell, 1782-1850. Amer. | he passed, and again, each time repeating his ican statesman. soothing salutation and expecting the man to commence his attack. But a strange fascina- In the early days of his political career, tion had seized upon Uncle Jacob. The spell Mr. Calhoun had a powerful rival in the Ab- which genius throws over those who approach beville district. South Carolina was at this it had unmanned him. At last he could time in a state of high excitement and party stand it no longer, but, bursting into tears, feeling raged fiercely in a struggle to over- grasped the proffered hand of Mr. Calhoun, throw an aristocratic feature of the consti- told him frankly the errand upon which he tution. The issue was upon topics that en- had come and begged his pardon. Mr. Cal- listed the interests and prejudices of parties houn then began to press his argument cau- and they waged the contest with the energy tiously but forcibly and in a few minutes of a civil war. Mr. Calhoun and Mr. Yancy Marvin was one of his converts and a decided were on opposite sides, the leaders of hostile friend. From that day on Mr. Calhoun bands and the idols of their respective hosts. had no more ardent follower than Marvin.- There was and is, for he still lives, a man Harper's Magazine, April, 1856. named Marvin, one of the most violent of Mr. Yancy's party, warmly attached to him The Pendletonians were justly proud of as a personal and political friend and follow- Mr. Calhoun and sensitive as to the impres- ing him blindly as an infallible guide. He sion he made upon strangers. When Judge was a very eccentric man and his peculiari- Prioleau became a resident, we were anxious ties had perhaps led the people to call him to know his impressions of our Ajax. I was Uncle Jacob, by which name he was better present when they first met. As soon as he known than by that of Marvin. Bitter in his left the table, the question was eagerly asked, prejudices and strong in his attachments, he “How do you like him?" "Not at all," was could see no right in an enemy and no wrong the reply; "I desire never to meet him again." in a friend. On the other hand Mr. Yancy This was a sad rebuff to our local vanity. An was one of the most amiable and candid of explanation was demanded. "I hate a man men. The strength of his mind, combined who makes me think so much,” replied the with the tolerance of his feelings, raised him judge. “For the last three hours I have been above the meanness of clinging to error when on the stretch, trying to follow him through reason opposed it. In the discussion that en- heaven and earth. I feel wearied with the sued, Mr. Calhoun's arguments overpowered effort and I hate a man who makes me feel my own inferiority.” As the judge could him and he candidly confessed himself a con- vert to his great rival's opinions. Great was safely venture to disparage himself the im- the rage of Uncle Jacob when he heard that plied compliment was accepted and Pendleton Yancy had struck his colors to Calhoun. He was appeased.-CHARLES COTESWORTH PINCK- swore a big oath that he would thrash Cal. NEY, Lippincott's Jagazine, July, 1898. houn if the story were true. He soon found Dixon II. Lewis, the senator of 436 that it was so and started at once to put his pounds and long a close friend, wrote in 1840, threat into execution. He found Mr. Cal “Calhoun is now my principal associate, and houn walking slowly back and forth, for ex he is too intelligent, too industrious, too in- ercise, on the piazza of the hotel where he tent on the struggle of politics to suit me ex- was boarding. Mr. Calhoun had been in cept as an occasional companion. There is no formed of Marvin's intention and, as soon as relaxation with him. On the contrary, when he saw him coming, prepared himself for a I seek relaxation with him, he screws me only triumph, not of force, but of manner and ad the higher in some sort of excitement.” And dress. Marvin took his stand where Mr. Cal. a rather favorable newspaper account has it houn was to pass and awaited the trying mo that some senator once changed his mess in ment. Mr. Calhoun approached, spoke kindly | Washington so as "to escape thought and Mr. and passed on with the blandest smile. Again Calhoun." 99 Calhoun, John Campbell, Lord OF THE GREAT Perry ... adds that he once heard War tremets; the roasts are lost.”—T. F. THis- ren Davis speak of a difference of opinion as | TLETON-DYER, “Royalty in All Ages.” to the trade winds between Calhoun and an Cambacérès, a gourmet of the first rank, English sea captain, the burden of which was | asked the duke [Wellington] to dine with that, though the captain said he had often him and after the banquet asked his guest crossed the equator and that his observations what he thought of it. The duke replied did not sustain Calhoun's theory, the latter that he had not noticed what he was eating. maintained his view and the arguments he "Then,” said Cambacérès, “why did you come advanced satisfied his hearers that he was here?"--Blackwood's Magazine, May, 1904. right and the captain wrong.-WILLIAM M. MEIGS, "Life of John C. Calhoun," copyright, His table was in fact an important state The Neale Publishing Company. engine, as appears from the anecdote of the trout sent to him by the municipality of We have heard a well-known editor, who Geneva and charged three hundred francs in began life as a page in the Senate chamber, :heir accounts. The Imperial Cour de Compts, say that there was no senator whom the pages having disallowed the item, was interdicted took so much delight in serving as Mr. Cal- from meddling with similar affairs in the houn. “Why?” “Because he was so demo- future.-FAUVELET DE BOURIENNE, "Memoirs cratic." "How democratic?" "Ile was as po- of Napoleon.” lite to a page as to the president of the Senate and as considerate of his feelings." CAMERON, Simon, 1799-1889. American We have heard another member of the press, statesman. whose first employment was to report the Mr. Cameron's father, the celebrated war speeches of Clay, Webster and Calhoun, bear similar testimony to the frank, engaging secretary, was once asked why his son, who courtesy of his intercourse with the corps of was clever and popular, and who entered politics with all the family prestige and influ- reporters.--The North American Review, Oc- ence, had not scored such a success as his tober, 1865. friends had predicted. “Don is a likely fel- He allowed anybody to stay all night who low and will do well,” Simon replied, "but chose to stop at his house. An ill-mannered you must remember that I started in life person on one occasion refused to attend fam with a big advantage over him.” “What was ily prayers. Mr. Calhoun said to the servant, that?” “Poverty.”—Munsey's Magazine, Jan- “Saddle that man's horse and let him go.”— uary, 1897. MEIGS. CAMPBELL, John, Baron Campbell of St. Thus began a friendship which lasted through his life and was attested by long Andrews, 1779-1861. British jurist and statesman. letters on governmental subjects, written as though to an intellectual equal. ... His It is comical to find that at the mature age letters were all lost during the war; but it of thirty-four, he actually took lessons in was I and not posterity that sustained the dancing. After dwelling at some length (Oc- misfortune, for his handwriting, though it tober 11, 1813) on the disagreeable position looked neat, was almost undecipherable. I in which he was placed by his deficiency in once sent him back his letter to read for me this accomplishment, he writes: "I was at and he responded: "I know what I think on last driven to the resolution of applying to this subject but cannot decipher what I one of the dancing masters who teach grown wrote."-MRS. VARINA DAVIS, "Jefferson gentlemen. Accordingly upon my return from Davis.” the circuit I waited upon a celebrated artist CAMBACÉRÈS, Jean Jacques Regis de, 1753- from the Opera House. Chassé! Coupé ! Brisé! One! Two! Three! I may say that 1824. French statesman. I devoted the long vacation to this pursuit. Among the many stories told of Camba- I did not engage in special pleading with cérès, it is said that on one occasion, being more eagerness. I went to my instructor detained in conversation with Napoleon be regularly every morning at ten, and two or yond the appointed hour for dinner, when the three times a week. I returned in the even- fate of the Duke of Enghien was under discus ing. You may be sure that I was frightened sion, he was observed to grow restless and out of my wits lest I should be seen by any impatient. At last he wrote a note, the con one I knew. I might have met an attorney's tents of which Napoleon suspecting, nodded to clerk accustomed to bringing me papers, or an aide-de-camp to intercept the despatch, possibly my own clerk. It required some which he found to be a note to the cook, con courage to face this danger and I give myself veying this message: "Take care of the en- | infinite credit for the effort I have made. I Campbell, Lord 100 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Caroline, Queen have been highly lucky: not recognized a To him was reserved the honor and profit single face I had seen before. My morning of making legal sages an object of interest in lessons were private, but to learn figures it | drawing rooms and a topic of animated dis- was of course indispensably necessary to mix | cussion in clubs. The comic alarm expressed with others. I met several dancing masters by ex, actual or expectant Chancellors was from the country, dashing young shopkeepers, | also calculated to quicken curiosity. “He ladies qualifying themselves for governesses, | has added a new pang to death,” was their etc., etc. I have attended so diligently and cry.-Quarterly Review, January, 1881. made such progress that I verily believe that My second series of “The Lives of the I pass for a person intending to teach the Chancellors” was now published, “from the art myself in the provinces. I entered by Revolution in 1688 till the Death of Lord the name of Smith, but my usual appellation Thurlow.” Its success was not at all inferior is the gentleman.'"-Quarterly Review, to that of the first. I printed 3,000 copies January, 1881. and 2,050 were sold the first day. To lessen Lord Campbell was amusingly careful of my vanity I was told that at the same the Great Seal. In a journey from the North time three thousand copies were sold of a he had it with him in the railway carriage | new cookery book and five thousand of a new and took it under his arm when he alighted knitting book.—December 16, 1847, "Life and for refreshments, refusing to trust it to his Letters of Lord Campbell.” traveling companions, though one of them was a privy councilor and a member of the Yesterday my third series was published government.-Quarterly Review, January, at Murray's trade sale, where 2,200 copies 1869. were disposed of. I had a malicious pleasure in showing Brougham, as we sat in the Judi- He was at the Assizes at Warwick on ial Committee, a note from Murray communi- a certain Sunday, when Parliament had been cating the intelligence. He said people were prorogued the previous day. The officiating obliged to make up their sets, having bought clergyman, not knowing this fact, began the the former volumes.---The Same. prayer for the high court of Parliament. Lord Campbell stood up in his pew and cried Although on the rare occasions when it out: "There is no Parliament sitting!” The was my duty to speak while a member of the clergyman was confused and, not catching House of Commons I had the good fortune to what he said, began the prayer again. "I experience a favorable hearing, I must ob- tell you, sir,” cried out the chief justice, serve that there existed in this assembly down “there is no Parliament sitting!”-REV. F. to our times an envious antipathy to law- ARNOULD, The New Quarterly Review, Octo yers, with a determined resolution to be- ber, 1877. lieve that no one can be eminent there who has succeeded at the bar. The prejudice on At a literary dinner Lord Campbell the subject is well illustrated by a case with: asked leave to propose a toast and gave the in my own knowledge. A barrister of the health of Napoleon Bonaparte. The war Oxford circuit taking a large estate under was at its height and the very mention of the will of a distant relation, left the bar, the name of Napoleon, except in conjunction changed his name under a royal license, was with some uncomplimentary epithet, was in returned for a Welsh county and made his most circles regarded as an outrage. A storm maiden speech in top boots and leather breech- of groans broke out and Campbell with diffi- culty could get a few sentences heard. “Gen- es, holding a hunting whip in his hand. He tlemen,” he said, "you must not mistake me. was most rapturously applauded until he un- luckily alluded to some causes in which he I admit that the French emperor is a tyrant. had been engaged while at the bar, and when I admit that he is a monster. I admit that he it was discovered that he was a lawyer in is the sworn foe of our own nation and, if disguise, he was coughed down in three min- you will, of the whole human race. But, gen- utes. In the other House of Parliament there tlemen, we must be just to our great enemy. is no such prejudice against lawyers.-LORD We must not forget that he once shot a book- CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Lord Chancellors," seller (Palm).” The guests, of whom two note to Lord Commissioner Whitelock. out of every three lived by their pens, burst into a roar of laughter and Campbell sat Sir John Sylvester, Recorder of London, down in triumph.-G. O. TREVELYAN, "Life was in my time robbed of his watch by a and Letters of Lord Macaulay.” (A writer in | thief whom he tried at the Old Bailey. Dur. Fraser's Magazine, November, 1844, says the ing the trial he happened to say aloud that poet Campbell-1777-1844-was famous for he had forgotten to bring his watch with this anecdote.) I him. The thief being acquitted for want of 101 Campbell, Lord OF THE GREAT Caroline, Queen evidence, went with the Recorder's love to faculties, to warm the affections, to improve Lady Sylvester, and requested that she would the manners and to form the character of immediately send his watch to him by a con youth. Of course, it is understood that ex- stable he had ordered to fetch it. Soon after cess is to be avoided, which is not only I was called to the bar, and had published contrary to morality but inconsistent with the first number of my Nisi Prius reports, true enjoyment.—LORD CAMPBELL, "Auto- while defending a prisoner in the Crown biography.” Court, I had occasion to consult my client and went to the dock, where I conversed with CARLETON, Sir Guy, First Baron of him for a minute or two. I got him off and Dorchester, 1724-1808. English general. he was immediately discharged. But my joy While the gallant defense of Quebec by was soon disturbed; putting my hand into my General Carleton evinced the excellence of pocket to pay the junior of the circuit my his military talents and his liberal treat- quota for yesterday's dinner, I found that ment of the vanquished did honor to his my purse was gone containing several bank. | humanity, particular credit is due to him notes, the currency of that day. The inci- for his skilful management even of the dent caused much merriment, it was communi prejudices of the troops under his command. cated to the Lord Chief Justice Baron Mac- Apprehending during the protracted siege Donald, the presiding judge, who said, that the return of St. Patrick's day would “What! Does Mr. Campbell think no one is occasion the soldiers of the garrison, chiefly entitled to take notes in the court except Irishmen, to indulge too freely in generous himself!”—The Same, Footnote to Thomas libations to the memory of the patron saint More. of Erin, and that his vigilant adversary I am again M. P. for Stafford. The re- would profit by their intemperance to attack the town, in orders issued on the 16th of turn is made and member I must remain till March, he invited "all true Irishmen to I am turned out by a committee. Bribery meet him on the following day at twelve and treating might be proved enough to un- o'clock, on parade, to drink the health of the seat the whole House of Commons; but king, St. Patrick's day being, for that year there is not the remotest danger, for by im- only, put off till the fourth of June." An memorial usage such things are done here Irishman himself, and highly honored by all with impunity.-LORD CAMPBELL, letter to who served under him, his proposition was his brother, 1831. applauded and perfect sobriety reigned where, You will see that Beaumont is returned according to all former experience, riot and for Stafford. I sent him there that the world disorder alone were to be looked for.-ALEX- might see what Stafford is and not blame me ANDER GARDEN, “Anecdotes of the Revolu- for relinquishing it. On his entering the tionary War in America." town, by way of foretaste, he gave a one pound Bank of England note to every voter CAROLINE, Wilhelmina Dorothea of An- who applied for it; and he soon distributed spach, 1683-1737. Queen to George II. of as many banknotes as there were voters in England. the place. They put them in their hats and He [Sunderland] presumed to treat the openly paraded the streets with them by way princess with disrespect. He held a con- of cockades. No credit would be given for versation with her in the famous Queen's voting money for more than five minutes Gallery and spoke so loud that Caroline after the vote was given. Having voted, “desired him to speak lower, for the people the voter had a card, which he carried to an in the garden would hear,” to which he adjoining public house and instantly pro answered, “Let them hear.” The princess re- duced him eight guineas. When election plied, “Well, if you have a mind, let 'em, but was over, Beaumont, in a public oration, told you shall walk next the window, for in the them that he had obtained their suffrages humor we are both in, one of us must cer- by means perhaps not altogether constitu tainly jump out of the window and I am tional but he hoped the money would do resolved it shan't be me.”—ALICE D. GREEN- them good and be of service to their families WOOD, “Lives of the Hanoverian Queens of -upon which they loudly cheered him. England,” citing P. Wentworth. LORD CAMPBELL, letter to his brother, 1826. What seems to have particularly an- The teetotal system now gaining ground noyed Mrs. Howard was that when the queen is certainly infinitely preferable to the habit | washed her hands, she, as bedchamberwoman, ual soaking of port wine or whiskey punch; | was expected to present the basin and ewer but I cannot help thinking that an occasional kneeling. She told the queen positively that booze has a favorable tendency to excite the she would not do it. “Yes, my dear Howard, Caroline, Queen Carroll, Charles 102 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES I am sure you will; indeed you will,” was the ing at Windsor and was walking on the queen's composed but irritating reply; "go, terrace with the court, the queen said to her, go; fie, for shame! Go, my good Howard; "I hear, Mrs. Oldfield, that you and the gen- we will talk of this another time.” But Mrs. eral are married.” “Madam," answered the Howard could not persuade herself to adopt actress, playing her very best, “the general the kneeling posture until she had got her keeps his own secrets.”—JOHN DORAN, friend Arbuthnot to find out from Lady | “Lives of the Queens of England.” Masham (who had been bedchamberwoman Caroline said to the eccentric divine that, to Queen Anne) what had been the practise bold speaker as he was, he was perhaps not of the English court in former times. Ar- bold enough to tell her of her faults. Whis. buthnot's reply concerning this momentous | ton proved that her majesty was mistaken, point of court ceremonial was as follows: | by denouncing her very unseemly behavior “The bedchamberwoman came into waiting at divine service. Caroline laid part of the before the queen's prayers, which was be- blame on the king, acknowledged her fault, fore her majesty was dressed. The queen often promised amendment, and asked what was shifted in the morning. If her majesty shift- her next offense. “Nay, madam,” said Whis- ed at noon, the bedchamberlady being by, the ton, "it will be time enough to go to the bedchamberwoman gave the shift to the lady second fault when you have fairly amended without any ceremony, and the lady put it on. the first."-JOHN DORAN, “The History of Sometimes, likewise, the bedchamberwoman Court Fools." gave the fan to the lady in the same manner, and this was all that the bedchamberlady did about the queen at her dressing. When CAROLINE, Amelia Elizabeth of Brunswick, the queen washed her hands the page of the 1768-1821. Queen to George IV. of Eng- backstairs brought and set down upon a side land. table the basin and ewer; then the bed- There was about this time (1809) an ex- chamberwoman set it before the queen and travagant furore in the cause of the Princess knelt at the other side of the table over o Wales. She was considered an ill-treated against the queen, the bedchamberlady look. woman and that was enough to arouse popu- ing on. The bedchamberwoman poured the lar feeling. My brother was among the water out of the ewer upon the queen's hands. young men who helped give her an ovation The page of the backstairs was called in to at the opera. A few days afterwards he put on the queen's shoes. When the queen went to breakfast at a place near Woolwich. dined in public, the page reached the glass There he saw the princess in a gorgeous dress, to the bedchamberwoman and she to the lady which was looped up to show her petticoat, in waiting. The bedchamberwoman brought covered with stars, with silver wings on the chocolate and gave it without kneeling. her shoulders, sitting under a tree with a In general, the bedchamberwoman had no de. pot of porter on her knee; and as a finale pendence on the lady of the bedchamber.” to the gaiety she had the doors opened of Having thus satisfied herself that no special every room in the house and selecting a indignity was intended her, Mrs. Howard re- partner, she galloped through them all, de- sumed her duties.---JOHN FYVIE, “Wits, siring all her guests to follow her example. Beaux and Beauties of the Georgian Era." It may be guessed whether the gentlemen were anxious to clap her at the opera again. Archbishop Blackbourn seems to have -AMELIA MURRAY, “Recollections." been a man of sense and wit and a lucky reply of his contributed to the exaltation of The next day we saw in the streets of the excellent Bishop Butler. Butler was Genoa a sight which we shall never forget. living in great obscurity in a country parish. There was a kind of phaeton, constructed Queen Caroline one day happened to ask the | like a sea-shell, covered with gilding and archbishop whether the pious Mr. Butler mother-of-pearl, colored outside, lined with was not dead. “No, madam," answered Black blue velvet and decorated with silver fringes; bourn, “but he is buried." The witty re this was drawn by two very small piebald proach had its effect and Butler became a horses driven by a child who was dressed bishop.-Quarterly Review, April, 1822. like an operatic angel with spangles and flesh-colored tights, and within it lounged a Caroline loved the broad English com fat woman of fifty years of age, short, plump edy of her time. She was especially fond and high-colored. She wore a pink hat, with of the “Queen of Comedy," Mrs. Oldfield, seven or eight pink feathers floating in the but affected to be a little shocked at the wind, a pink bodice cut very low and a short way she was living with General Churchill. white skirt which hardly came below the One day, when Mrs. Oldfield had been read. I knees, showing two stout legs with pink top 103 Caroline, Quoon OF THE GREAT Carroll, Charles boots; a rose-colored sash, which she was banker's, keep £3,000 for himself and divide continually draping, completed the costume. the remainder among her other defenders. The carriage was preceded by a tall and Her attorney-general informed her that he handsome man (Bergami] mounted upon a and his colleagues could accept only their little horse like those which drew the car. fees; but when her banker (Kinnaird) sug- riage; he was dressed precisely like King gested that these should be paid, her capri- Murat, whose gestures and attitudes he at: cious majesty refused, saying that she must tempted to imitate. The carriage was fol. settle her debts before she paid her fees- lowed by two grooms in English livery and which amounted to only £200. The fees were upon horses of the same kind. This Neapoli not paid until after her death and then the tan turnout was a gift from Murat to the amount came out of the treasury.—Temple Princess of Wales, who exhibited herself in Bar, February, 1872. this ridiculous costume and in this strange A curious circumstance occurred while carriage. She appeared in the streets of she was on her deathbed, the night or rather Genoa on this and the following mornings.- the morning on which she expired. A boat MADAME DE BOIGNE, "Memoirs." passed down the river, filled with some of She was at Carlsruhe on March 26, 1817, those religious sectarians who had taken and was known as “the mad princess" from peculiar interest in her fate; they were pray- the Turkish costumes she and her suite ap- ing for her, and singing hymns as they rowed peared in. . . . She then appeared in a by Brandenburg House; and at the same mo- pasha's dress and finally at the opera as the ment a mighty rush of wind blew open all guest of the Grand Duke of Baden, in the the doors and windows of the queen's apart- Margravine's box, in the costume of an Ober. ment, just as the breath was going out of länder peasant with huge head-dress, flying her body; it impressed those who were pres- ribbons and glittering spangles. Bergami ent with a sense of awe and added to the was also dressed as an Oberländer.-LADY solemnity of the scene.-LADY CHARLOTTE CHARLOTTE BURY, “Diary.”. BURY, “Diary.” The story also goes that when the prin- CARROLL, Charles, 1737-1832. Signer of cess was at Baden, and the Grand Duke made American Declaration of Independence. a partie de chasse for her, she appeared on "Will you sign?” says Hancock to Charles horseback with a heavy pumpkin on her Carroll. "Most willingly," was the reply. head. Upon the Grand Duke expressing as “There goes two millions with the dash of a tonishment, she replied that the weather was pen,” says one of those standing by; while hot and nothing kept the head so cool and another remarks, "Oh, Carroll, you will get comfortable as a pumpkin.-CHARLES E. off; there are so many Charles Carrolls.” PEARCE, “The Beloved Princess," quoting And then we may see him stepping back to Hon. Miss F. W. Wynn. the desk and putting that addition "of Car- On the Titus head of the princess [1817). rollton" to his name.-ROBERT C. WINTHROP, sat with an air of foolhardiness a cap of Centennial oration, Boston, July 4, 1876, and black_velvet, with white feathers dangling others to like purpose (including Lord downwards. In what a roystering and unem- Brougham and S. J. Burr). None of these barrassed style the red Amazon laughed and stories have more than a shadow of truth for a basis. It is barely possible that when Car- chatted, while she flung herself flauntingly into the saddle, so that her dress, flapping in roll stepped forward and affixed to the Dec- the breeze, flopped into the abashed eyes of laration the name that he invariably signed the numerous onlookers an unavoidable since he had first learned to write that of “Charles Carroll of Carrollton”-some such glimpse of flesh-colored tights. The Grand Duke had apparently the wind quite knocked conversation as Mr. Winthrop records may out of him by these flourishes on the part of have occurred. But it is not possible that Carroll signed his name this time by instal- his merry cousin, who, coming a smart stroke ments. ... The second was always desig- with her riding whip between the ears of her nated as “Charles Carroll, Barrister,” and his horse, dashed off with a laugh, leaving her name will be found invariably so recorded in dumfounded cavalier to try and follow up as best he could.--CAROLINE BAUER, "Diary.” the early history of the colony. The third was always known from his childhood as When Queen Caroline came out of her “Charles Carroll of Carrollton,” not only to trial an undivorced and undivorceable queen, distinguish him from the barrister, but be- in the exuberance of her delight she bade cause Carrollton Manor was his entailed eg. Brougham take the £7,000 she had at her | tate.... His biographer, J. H. B. Latrobe, Castiglione, Countess of WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 104 Esq., now dead, wrote me in 1877, “I have a but immediately returned and happened again bond signed by him as 'Charles Carroll of to meet the Southerner. The latter had seen Carrollton,' dated and filed many years be General Cass go out and felt sure of his man fore the Declaration. In Maryland the 'pret this time. He came up, slapped him heartily ty story of the signing was long, long ago on the shoulder and said with a laugh, “Say, dropped."-HORACE E. HAYDEN, “Charles Car Guy, I've a good joke to tell you. I met that roll of Carrollton.” stupid old Cass just now and thought it was you and began to abuse him about my room." CASS, Lewis, 1782-1866. American general "Young man,” replied the general, drawing and statesman. himself up more sternly than ever, "you've It was stated by the late Colonel IIamer met that stupid old Cass again.”- Al unsey's that on one of General Cass's recent tours his Magazine, November, 1893. carriage was one day stopped by a man who, addressing the general, said, “I can't let you CASTIGLIONE, Virginicchia Oldoni, Count. pass without speaking to you. You don't ess of, 1835 or 1843-1901. Cavour's envoy know me, general.” General Cass replied to the court of Napoleon III. that he did not. “Well, sir,” said he, “I was At one of the few houses where she was a the first man in your regiment to jump out frequent visitor, before her voluntary retire- of the boat on the Canadian shore." "No, ment, she was informed of an addition to the you were not,” said General Cass; "I was the family. She came running in to see the first man myself on shore.” “True," said the child, kissed it, hung round its neck an amber other, “I jumped out first into the river to necklace, and said to the young mother, get ahead of you, but you held me back and “When he is grown up you will tell him that got on shore ahead of me."-GEORGE H. HICK- the first kiss he ever received was given to MAN, “Life of General Cass.” him by the most beautiful woman of the Mr. Cass was testy sometimes, but it was | century.” the testiness of an overworked man, not an Sometimes she would reply to the mute ill-natured one. Nothing annoyed him so questioning of their glance, “You would like much as being called a Michigander; he said to see my arm?" and thereupon drew back the name was suggestive.-MRS. VARINA DA- the lace sleeve which half hid the pure out- VIS, “Jefferson Davis.” line. “Is it my foot you want?” and, slight- The good humor of his intense earnest ly lifting the skirt, she showed the faultless ness is illustrated by the story of his rising ankle. In her own house, as they knew, to speak with the statement that he was not Madame de Castiglione received in bare feet going to make a war speech, nor use the and she wore rings on her toes and gold word “inevitable.” He had not proceeded far, bands on her ankles. One would have said however, before the use of the familiar word | these feet had never known how to walk, so put the House into roars of laughter, in trim and delicate were they. which he joined as heartily as any.-ANDREW For the benefit of some charity Countess B. MCLAUGHLIN, "Lewis Cass," citing Na- than Sergeant's “Public Men and Events.” Stephanie de Tascher had planned a brilliant evening party, to which the Countess de Cas- An amusing incident once arose from the tiglione was one of the first to be invited. striking resemblance that existed between the The news soon spread abroad and the jour- late General Lewis Cass and a certain Mr. nals placed the coming entertainment in high Guy, a Washington hotelkeeper. A newly relief. The story was circulated from one elected Southern congressman who had put drawing room to another that Madame de up in Guy's hostelry did not like his room Castiglione meant to appear in the lightest and went downstairs to complain about it. of costumes and to reveal to the spectators, On the way he met General Cass and, taking for the sake of the poor, that perfection of him for the landlord, treated him to some form which their eyes had so far only had a very emphatic comments upon the indignity chance of divining from the suggestive out- he felt he had received. "Sir," the general lines of a ball dress. She determined to sternly replied, as soon as he could get a punish such impertinence by completely de- word in, "you have made a mistake. I am luding those who had paid a high price in General Cass of Michigan.” “General Cass," advance for the pleasure of an exhibition the congressman stammered; “I beg a thou which was to be refused them. When the sand pardons; I took you for Mr. Guy, who stage setting was being arranged she de. is an old friend of mine. Pray excuse me, manded for her scene an artificial grotto with sir.” The general bowed stiffly and went out, ! the inscription, "The Hermitage at Passy." 105 Cass, Lewis Castiglione, Countess of OF THE GREAT Under its rocky vault what charming deity execution to a lawyer in whom she had great would be discovered? No doubt she would confidence. He undertook the journey. On have imagined the most seductive of dis his arrival at its end, after a tortuous and guises and great was the impatience of the varied course, he had some difficulty in find- audience. When at last she showed herself ing the place he sought. It was a strange- they rubbed their eyes with astonishment; looking building and its owners were even they could hardly believe it was she. There more peculiar. How attentively they listened she was, however, concealed by the graceless to his explanations! He produced his half of folds of a baize dress, her head covered with the card. The other piece was brought out. a hood as austere as the religious habit of The two matched perfectly. Then they con- the order, which was only too entirely in sented to hand over to him the diamonds and keeping with this hermit's retreat. Then she pearls, which had been carefully hidden in disappeared for the rest of the evening. Mur the wall. Among them was the famous neck. murs were general and vexation was all the lace of black and white pearls, in six rows, keener, as not only had their eyes been cheat such as no empress had ever worn.-FREDERIC ed, but also their purses. LOLIÉE, "The Women of the Second Empire." Unlike certain ladies of her acquaintance We are all three of us [she and her two she did not say to her guests, “Monsieur, will dogs] ill from the mad excitement in the you give my friends and myself infinite pleas street. ... Sleep impossible. What a night! ure by inscribing on this blank page a motto, Up till two o'clock, a howling mob, fire en- a distich, some verses, or whatever you gines, charges of cavalry, arrests. They are please?” Instead, she asked them for a for very much afraid of the 3d of December, mally worded statement certifying the pleas- whether Ferry remains or not. . . . It is ure they had experienced in looking at her getting more and more on my little dogs' or in talking to her. Among others, Thiers, nerves.-Letter of the Countess, quoted by Jerome Napoleon, Caro, Nieuwerkerke, Lord Frederic Loliée, "The Romance of a Favor- Cowley acceded to her request and gave the ite." desired testimony. In this house mirrors had been pro- When her son was twelve years of age scribed, for its mistress was beginning to fear the countess kept him out of her sight be. them. In place of them, a number of pre- cause he made her appear old. She dressed cious portraits of herself, vaguely indicated him like a groom and kept him in the ante- against a somber background, reflected the room with the servants. One fine day he left more smiling aspect of the past; particularly the maternal dwelling and took refuge with in the evening, in the twinkling light of the his uncle Clement, who was a brother of his candles, or when the gas, usually kept low father and who brought up Georges de Cas like a night light, had been turned up. In tiglione, helped him on to a diplomatic career the daytime the heavy curtains are kept and married him to a San Marzano.-FRED- pinned together, so that the room was in ERIC LOLIÉE, "The Romance of a Favorite." semi-darkness, but at night the countess had A chapter in the style of Ponson du only to raise her eyes to behold again her Terrail or Emile Richbourg might be written fine mouth with its original expression and about the means she adopted some twenty- that line at the corner of the lips, the mel- eight years ago to recover her jewels, which ancholy droop of the smile; to see her ca- she had placed in a safe hiding-place at the pricious hand sowing flowers like jewels and outbreak of the Franco-German war. The to admire the undulating form that she had casket had been carried to a distant part of molded into so many poses and attitudes. Italy and deposited in a small Calabrian vil- There were show cases, filled with bibelots lage of dramatic memory. The transaction and relics of the past. She lived over again had been made without any interchange of the hours and circumstances when she had legal receipts, in fact without any formality worn this or that sumptuous brocade, this or whatever, either financial or official. A card that satin or silk gown of bright colors, or had been cut in half, and one piece given to these light cambrics so becoming to her grace- ful walk. the upright and simple-minded man to whom she entrusted her property, while the second, The first presents to arrive (at her en- fitting the first exactly, she kept herself, on gagement] were a diamond cross and neck. the understanding that the bearer of her half lace of pearls of the size of a hazel nut. At- of the card would be authorized to demand | tributing to these jewels a fatal influence on he restitution of the jewels. The arrangement | her Nina's future, she [her mother) did not was faithfully adhered to. She entrusted its hesitate to throw them into the sea, and a Castiglione, Countess of WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Catherine II. 106 ite." handsome prayer-book, bound in ivory, near- | DE MONVEL, “Eminent Englishmen and Wom- ly met with the same fate, because it had en in Paris." been presented on an inauspicious day.-- FREDERIC LOLIÉE, “The Romance of a Favor- CATHERINE I., 1680-1727. Empress of Russia. The imperial mantle (at the coronation) Custom required that the bride should had been made in France of very heavy and pay a visit to her husband's mother immedi- costly materials, besides being literally en- ately after the ceremony. The marriage had crusted with hundreds of double-headed gold not been brought to a satisfactory conclusion eagles. The empress had a splendid physique without some little trouble, and the bride and her strength was prodigious, yet on this showed a marked disinclination to perform hot spring day a hundred and fifty pounds of this duty. No adequate reason can be found gold and purple hanging from her shoulders for her refusal to comply with this custom (for that was the weight of the mantle) was and call on the Countess de Castiglione. Her almost too much for her powers, especially as resolution, however, would not be shaken. the preceding three days' fast had somewhat The count tried every means of persuasion, reduced her, so that it is no wonder that she but in vain. He implored, argued, command had to pause and rest once or twice in her ed; he used severity; then stooped to coax. passage between the two cathedrals.-R. Nis- She remained unmoved, and nothing he could BET BAIN, "The Pupils of Peter the Great." urge induced her to go through this simple act of courtesy. One day, when they She had a dozen orders and as many por- were out driving together, finding her in a traits of saints and relics fastened all along softer mood than usual, the count seized the the facings of her dress, so that when she opportunity to give the coachman his moth- walked she jingled like a mule.---MARGRAVINE er's address, hoping she would allow herself OF BEYREUTII, "Memoirs." to be taken there. Not a word did she say She forbade the ladies of her court to until the carriage was crossing the river. | copy her dresses.-K. WALISZEWSKI, "Peter Then, drawing off her shoes, she flung them the Great." in the twinkling of an eye into the water The gross abuse of making the ladies below, saying, “I suppose you will hardly drink as much as the men on public occa- compel me to walk into her house barefoot." sions was also done away with.-R. NISBET ---FREDERIC LOLIÉE, “The Women of the Sec- BAIN, “The Pupils of Peter the Great." ond Empire.” CATHERINE II., 1729-1796. Empress of A story in regard to this visit, from the Russia. pen of a French woman, made the rounds, being accepted and repeated by everybody This is the kind of life I led at Oranien- without scruple, but it turned out to be un- baum: I rose at three o'clock in the morn- true in every particular and made entirely ing and dressed myself alone from head to out of the whole cloth.-FREDERIC LOLIÉE, foot in male attire; an old huntsman whom “The Romance of a Favorite." I had was always waiting for me with the guns; a fisherman's skiff was waiting on the Where did this writer see me throwing seashore; we traversed the garden on foot, my shoes out of the carriage window? It with our guns upon our shoulders; entered would serve her right if I were to say of her the boat together with a fisherman and a what you have not mentioned.-Letter of the pointer and I shot ducks on the reeds which Countess, quoted by Loliće, “The Romance of bordered on both sides of the canal of Oran- a Favorite." ienbaum, which extends two versts into the sea. We often doubled this canal and con- CASTLEREAGH, Robert Stuart, Viscount sequently were occasionally for a consider- Castlereagh, Marquis of Londonderry, 1769 able time in the open sea in this skiff. The 1822. English statesman. grand duke came an hour or two after us; During the congress at Vienna it was his for he must needs always have a breakfast and habit to dance for two hours every evening, God knows what besides, which he dragged an exercise which he declared was indispens after him. If we met we went together; if able to him, as a relief to his mental work. not, each shot and hunted alone. At ten When he could get no other partner, he used o'clock, and often later, I returned and to dance with Lady Castlereagh, and if Lady dressed for dinner. After dinner we rested; Castlereagh were not available, he would and in the evening the grand duke had music gravely dance with a chair.-ROGER BOUTET or we rode out on horseback. Having led this 107 Castiglione, Countess of OF THE GREAT Catherine II. sort of a life for about a week, I found myself | Volga, or to the line of the roads by which much heated and my head confused. I saw Catherine was to pass, and peasants were that I required repose and dieting; so for obliged to quit their houses at the distance of twenty-four hours I ate nothing, drank only twenty or thirty versts for the same purpose, cold water and for two nights slept as long as and to inhabit new dwellings for the day; I could. After this I recommenced the same and thus her majesty was duped, whilst she course of life and found myself quite well. thought she was treading over fairyland. ROBERT LYALL, “The Character of the Rus- After this fête Leon Narichkine renewed sians." his visits to me. One day, on entering my boudoir, I found him impertinently stretched Her proverbial munificence is not only on a couch there and singing an absurd song; in ostentation. Grimm often distributed seeing this, I went out, closing the door after large sums for her anonymously. And she me. Going immediately to his sister-in-law, put a charming grace and delicacy in some I told her we must get a good bundle of net of her gifts. “Your royal highness," she tles and with them chastise this fellow, who writes to the Comte d'Artois, who is leaving had for some time behaved so insolently Russia, "wishes doubtless to make some small towards us, and teach him to respect us. His presents to the people who have done you sister-in-law readily consented, and we forth service during your stay here. But, as you with had brought to us some good strong know, I have forbidden all commerce and rods, surrounded with nettles. We took along communication with your unhappy France, with us one of my women, a widow, named and you will seek in vain to buy any trinkets Tatiana Jourievna, and we all three entered in the city; there are none in Russia, save in the cabinet, where we found Leon Narich my cabinet; and I hope your highness will kine singing his song at the top of his voice. accept these from your affectionate friend When he saw us he tried to make off, but we Catherine.”—K. WALISZEWSKI, “The Ro- whipped him so well with our rods and net mance of an Empress.” tles that his hands, legs and face were swol- In September, 1795, the hereditary prin- len for two or three days to such a degree cess set out with her three beautiful eldest that he could not accompany us to Peterhof daughters for St. Petersburg, on a bridal on the morrow, which was a court day, but show. The Empress Catherine, who had be- was obliged to remain in his room. He took fore summoned three princesses from Wurt- care, besides, not to boast of what had oc- temberg to Berlin, and three princesses from curred, because we assured him that on the Darmstadt, as also two from Baden, to St. least sign of impoliteness, or ground of com- Petersburg, that her son Paul and grandson plaint, we would renew the operation, seeing Alexander might choose themselves consorts that there was no other means of managing from among them, had now ordered these him. All this was done as a mere joke, and princesses of Coburg, to make a selection out without anger, but our gentleman felt it suffi- of them for her still almost boyish and al- ciently to recollect it, and did not again ex- pose himself to it, at least not to the same ways knavish grandson Constantine. In spite extent as before.-CATHERINE II., “Memoirs," of all the warnings of the sad fates which had written after her marriage to the grand overtaken so many German princesses in Rus- duke, subsequently Peter III., but before her sia, the poverty-stricken princesses of Coburg were unable to resist the golden winks of the accession to the throne. all-powerful Czarina. And what humilia- Her majesty's progress (to the Crimea tions were in store for them in St. Peters- in 1787] was a continuous triumph through burg! Catherine and her whole court made a populous country, covered with villages and sport of their modest toilet and shy demean- flocks and herds and smiling amidst plenty or. The empress sent her tailors and millin- and universal prosperity. This was equally ers to render the German princesses present- the case, whether in her bark she was wafted able at court. And how did Constantine treat along the Volga, was driven in her state car- these poor beggars? Pretty much in the riage along the level and excellent smooth same style as he did the recruits given him roads, repaired on purpose, in the south, or as playthings; of whom, in putting them stopped in palaces especially constructed for through their exercises, he would occasionally a day's repose. Portable villages, erected in bash in an eye or whisk off an ear. He would the morning and destroyed in the evening, have none of the princesses drawn up for his on the following day arose like creation on inspection and selection. They were too some other spot and under some new arrange- maidenly coy for his taste. The empress had, ment. Cattle were driven to the banks of the I therefore, to come to his help and proceeded Catherine II. 108 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in an original manner. She stood at the win- and the little traitor rushed up to him with dow and looked down on the princesses as an air of the greatest delight and with all they alighted from their carriage. The first the tender demonstrations in the world. "My got entangled in the unwonted court train and friend,” said the Swede, taking the new- fell to the ground. The second, taking warn comer aside, “there is nothing so terrible as ing from that catastrophe, sprawled out on a little Bolognese dog; the first thing I have all fours. The third and youngest, the pretty always done with the women I was in love little Juliana, hardly fourteen, took up her with was to give them one and I have always train in both hands and sprang gracefully to found out by their means whether there was the ground. “That's the one! She will do any one more favored than 1."--K. WALIS- for our wild Constantine,” said Catherine. | ZEWSKI, “The Romance of an Empress.” “Very well then, if so it must be, I'll wed the Potemkin complained that he was the little ape. It dances very prettily," chimed in sixteenth; Catherine protests that before him Constantine, carelessly. ... The marriage there had been only five.-K. WALISZEWSKI, of Princess Juliana in St. Petersburg, who on “Paul the First." changing to the Greek profession, took the name of Anna Feodorovna, was celebrated She (the Princess Czartoryska) had ren- with great gala at the court of Coburg on dered herself particularly illustrious by a the 24th of February, 1796.—CAROLINE rivalry with the late empress of Russia, who, BAUER, “Diary.” as she was surpassed in beauty (the most loved and coveted source of female power) set There is a legend to the effect that she no bounds to her spite. It seems that in was once approached by a deputation who pe- several instances they interfered in respect to titioned her to grant the nation a constitu- gallants; and one of the instances is said to tion. It is said that she thereupon ordered have been the king of Poland-an offense her counselors to search the archives and which her imperial haughtiness could not ascertain what reply had been given by Peter brook. On the partition of Poland the Rus- the Great under similar circumstances. The sian army had particular directions not to archives were searched and the reply of Peter spare the town and palace of Pulawy; and the Great was found to be of too coarse a na. they were accordingly twice pillaged and al- ture to be repeated to Catherine. She is re- most destroyed. The best rooms of the pal- ported to have rejoined, “Oh, very well. Give ace were perfectly gutted; every article of the deputation the same answer.”—E. A. B. furniture, pictures and ornaments of every HODGETTS, "Life of Catherine the Great of sort were all taken out and immersed in a Russia." basin of water in the court; and the walls Catherine bared her arm to the lancet on were then besmeared with ordure. The prince the 26th of October, 1768. A week afterwards with his family was driven from home-all she had her son inoculated. On the 22d the his estates confiscated—and from a condition members of the legislative commission and all of splendor he saw himself reduced in a mo- the chief dignitaries assembled in the Church ment to a state of complete poverty. He was of Our Lady of Kasan, where a decree of the obliged during two years to subsist only on senate was read, commanding public prayers the bounty of his friends. Such were the ef- for the occasion; after which they went in a fects of imperial jealousy. It was not till body to present their compliments and thanks the death of the empress that he with many to her majesty. A boy of seven, named Mark- others was reinstated in their rightful pos- of, who had been inoculated first of all, in sessions.-GEORGE BURNET, “View of the Pres- order to use the lymph found on him, was ent State of Poland” [1807]. ennobled in return for it and received the sur- Habits, Whims and Eccentricities name of Ospiennyi (ospa, smallpox). Cath- erine took a liking to him and had him Her hearing, though very sharp, was affect. brought up under her eyes. The family of ed by an odd peculiarity; each of her ears this name, now occupying a high position in heard sounds in a different way, not merely Russia, owes its fortune to this ancestor. in loudness but in tone. This no doubt was Count Horn, a Swede who was on a visit the reason why she could never appreciate music, hard as she tried to acquire the taste. to St. Petersburg, and a friend of Poniatow- Her sense of harmony was completely lack- ski, was in the “set” of the grand duchess. ing.-K. WALISZEWSKI, “The Romance of an One day, as he entered the room, a little Bolognese dog belonging to her began to bark Empress.” furiously. It did the same to all the other Catherine was fond of neither poetry nor visitors, until at last Poniatowski appeared, 1 of music and she often confessed it. She 109 Catherine II. OF THE GREAT could not endure the noise of the orchestra which fitted so badly that I lost my temper; between the acts of a play and she commonly so they left me like this and I am waiting un- silenced it.-CHARLES F. P. MASSON, “Secret til they have cooled down.”—K. WALISZEW- Memoirs of the Court of Petersburg." SKI, “The Romance of an Empress.” I am enthusiastically fond of music but Rogers told an anecdote of the Empress she was far from being so and Prince Dash Catherine which Lord St. Helens had related kow, though with some taste for it, was as lit to him. At one of her private parties, when tle of a performer as the empress. She was she was as usual walking about from card nevertheless fond of hearing me sing and table to card table looking at the players, she sometimes when I had done, secretly passing suddenly rang the bell for her page, but he a sign across to Prince Dashkow, she would did not come; she looked agitated and impa- gravely propose a duet, which she would call tient and rang again, but still no page ap- the music of the spheres, and which, without peared. At length she left the room and did either of them knowing how to sing a note, not again return and conjecture was of course they both performed in concert. A sudden busy as to what might be the fate of the inat- burst of the most exalted and ridiculously tentive page. Shortly after, however, some discordant tones was the consequence-one one having occasion to go into the antecham- seconding the other, with scientific shrugs ber of the pages, found a party of them at and all of the solemn, self-complacent airs cards and the empress seated playing along and grimaces of musicians. From this, per- with them. The fact was, she had found the haps, she passed to the cat concert and imi page she rang for was so interested in the tated the purring of poor puss in the most game he was engaged in that he could not droll and ludicrous manner, always taking leave it to attend to her summons; and ac- care to add appropriate half-comic, half-sen- cordingly she had quietly taken his hand for timental words, which she invented for the him, to play it out, while he went on the er- occasion; or else, spitting like a cat in a pas rand. So meekly can they who have the sion, with her back up, she suddenly boxed power of life and death of those around them the first person in her way, making up her sometimes deal with their slaves. Lord St. hand into a paw and mewing so outrageously Helens himself was one of the empress's com- that instead of the great Catherine nothing | pany on the occasion.—THOMAS MOORE, “The but the wrongs of a grimalkin remained upon Journal.” one's mind.-PRINCESS DASHKOW, "Memoirs.” Catherine, according to the general cus- Catherine II. did not care for elaborate tom of the time, even among young and pret- cookery; her favorite dish was boiled beef ty women, took snuff. She acquired the habit with salted cucumber; her drink, water with at an early age and clung to it all her life.- gooseberry syrup. Among her cooks there K. WALISZEWSKI, “The Romance of an Em. was one who cooked abominably; but when press.” this was pointed out to her she refused to The People She Ruled dismiss the man as he had been in her service too long. She merely inquired when his turn She was given to inspecting the domes- came and, sitting down to the table, would tic accounts and she was puzzled by finding say, “Ladies and gentlemen, we must exercise among them a bottle of rum daily charged to our patience; we have a week's fast before the Naslednik, or heir apparent. Her impe- us.”—K. WALISZEWSKI, “The Romance of an rial majesty turned over the old expenses of Empress." the household to discover at what period her son had commenced his reprobate course of Catherine II. of Russia kept her perru- daily rum drinking; and found, if not to her quier for more than three years in an iron horror, at least to the increase of her per- cage in her bedchamber, to prevent his telling plexity, that it dated from the very day of people that she wore a wig.-T. F. THISTLE- his birth. The bottle of rum began with the TON-DYER, "Royalty in All Ages." baby, accompanied the boy and continued to One day the Countess Bruce enters the be charged to the man. He was charged as empress's bedroom and finds her majesty drinking upwards of thirty dozen of fine old alone, half-dressed, with her arms folded in Jamaica yearly. The imperial mother was an attitude of one who is patiently waiting anxious to discover if any other of the Czare- because she is obliged to wait. Seeing her vitch babies had exhibited the same alcoholic surprise, Catherine explains the case: “What precocity; and it appears that they were all do you think? My waiting maids have all alike; daily, for upwards of a century back deserted me. I had been trying on a dress they stood credited in the household books Catherine II. Catherine de Medici 110 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES for that terrible bottle of rum. The empress is to be called only by an insulting nickname; continued her researches with the zeal of an any one infringing this order to suffer five antiquary and her labors were not unreward | thousand blows of the stick, without mercy. ed. She at last reached the original entry. Five thousand blows of the stick, however, are Like all the succeeding ones it was to the far from constituting the maximum. A sort effect of "a bottle of rum for the Naslednik," of criminal code, in use on the same estates, but a sort of editorial note on the margin of includes much severer chastisements. It is the same page intimated the wherefore: "On further provided that the application of these account of violent tooth-ache, a teaspoonful penalties is not to cause too much incon- with sugar is to be given, by order of the venience to the proprietor, by depriving him physician of the imperial court.” The tea- | too long of the services of the beaten serv- spoonful for one day had been charged as a ants. It is ruled that a man who has re- bottle and, the entry once made, it was kept ceived seventeen thousand blows of the stick, on the books to the profit of the unrighteous or a hundred blows of the knout—the two are steward until discovery checked the fraud-a considered equivalent-is not to remain in fraud more gigantically amusing than that of | bed more than a week. If he is longer in re- the illiterate coachman who set down in his turning to work he will be deprived of food. harness room book, "Two penn'orth of whip This code was in force during the reign of cord, 6d.”--JOHN DORAN, “Table Traits." Catherine. (For a similar anecdote see Prince Consort Chechkofski [chief of police) had neither Albert of England.] official titles corresponding to his position At the time of my first stay in St. Pe- nor apparent organization of his inquisitorial tersburg, in 1859, I had an example of another work. But his hand and eye were everywhere. Russian peculiarity. During the first spring He seemed to possess the gift of ubiquity. He days it was then the custom for every one never arrested any one: he sent out an invi- connected with the court to promenade in the tation to dinner, which no one dared refuse. Summer Garden between Paul's Place and After dinner there was a conversation and the Neva. There the emperor had noticed a the walls of the comfortable and discreet sentry standing in the middle of a grass plot; abode betrayed none of the secrets of these in reply to the question why he was standing conversations. A particular chair was, it there, the soldier only could answer, “Those seems, set aside for the guest, whom a word, are my orders.” The emperor therefore sent amiable but significant, had induced to cross one of his adjutants to the guard room to the formidable threshold. Suddenly the chair, make inquiries; but no explanation was in which he had been politely motioned to be forthcoming except that a sentry had to stand seated, tightened upon him and descended there winter and summer. The source of the with him to the floor below, in such a man- original order could no longer be discovered, ner, however, that the head and shoulders of The matter was talked of at court and reached the personage remained above. The victim the ears of the servants. One of these, an thus preserved his incognito from the assist- old pensioner, came forward and stated that ants of Chechkofski, who subjected the lower his father had once said to him as they part of the body to more or less rigorous passed the sentry in the Summer Garden, treatment. Chechkofski turned away at this "There he is still standing to guard the moment and appeared to ignore what was flower; on that spot the Empress Catherine passing. The performance finished, and the once noticed a snow drop in bloom unusually chair restored to its place, the host turned early, and gave orders that it was not to be about and smilingly took up the conversation plucked.” This command had been carried at the point where it had been interrupted by out by placing a sentry on the spot and ever this little surprise. It is said that a young since then one has stood there all the year man, forewarned of what awaited him, used round.-PRINCE BISMARCK, “Thoughts and his presence of mind and his great muscular Recollections." strength, to thrust Chechkofski into the place reserved for him on the fatal seat. After A curious document has come down to us, this he took to flight. The rest can be imag- a list of punishments inflicted in the year ined.-K. WALISZEWSKI, “The Romance of 1751 and onward, on the estates of Count P. an Empress.” Roumiantsof. It is distressing to read: a veritable nightmare. For entering his mas- CATHERINE, of Braganza, 1638-1705. ters' room while they were asleep and thus Queen to Charles II. of England. disturbing their sleep, a servant is flogged A member of Catherine's household, Ed- and condemned to the loss of his name; he | ward Montague, Master of Horse, felt pity 111 Catherine II. Catherine de Medici OF THE GREAT for the queen's forlorn condition and fell in before he has had time to remark that they love with her. He had no way of showing his are in keeping with her other perfections. affection except by squeezing her hand when Our Huguenot, who, though he yawns he led her to the coach. The queen, who was through the long sermon every Sunday and very simple-minded and did not understand conducts family worship every day of the English etiquette, inquired of the king, week, that is to say, when he does not hap- “What do you English mean when you squeeze pen to be engaged in burning his Catholic a lady by the hand ?" Charles promised to neighbors' chateaux over their heads, finds tell her, if she would first inform him who himself wondering who the lady can be, and had occasioned the question; so without in goes on his way not without a lingering tending it Catherine was the innocent cause hope that he may see her again. On the of Montague's dismissal. Feeling miserable, morrow he returns. This time he is in- he took service abroad and was mcrtally formed that the queen is giving audience to wounded off Bergen.—MRS. ARTHUR COL one of the foreign ambassadors, and that he VILLE, “Duchess of Marlborough." will have to wait a few minutes. A quarter CATHERINE de Medici, 1519-1589. Queen of an hour passes and he is beginning to grow impatient, when the damsel whom he to Henry II. of France. has seen on the previous day enters and ad- Seeing that the men crowded round Diana, vances to the door of the queen's cabinet Catherine had recourse to the women; she with something for her royal mistress in formed her celebrated Amazonian brigade, in her hand. Here, however, she is stopped by which were enlisted the chief beauties of the usher; Mademoiselle can not be allowed France, or, as they were called by a sour to enter; her majesty has given orders that Puritan, “the graces and disgraces of the she is on no account to be disturbed, and kingdom.” These ladies were more formidable she, too, must wait. In the circumstances, than armies; Admiral Coligny declared that Monsieur, who is of course a great noble, and an encounter with the queen's phalanx was may therefore be permitted what in others more to be dreaded than the loss of a battle; would be considered a liberty, ventures to patriotism might meet undaunted a whole address her. She answers with a modesty park of artillery, but it was unable to sus which charms him, and they converse very tain a battery of ladies' eyes.— WILLIAM C. agreeably until presently he is summoned to TAYLOR, “Biography of the Age of Elizabeth." the royal presence. Here some other pretext The destined victim, on some pretext or is invented for detaining him for some days other, is lured to the court. He comes, not longer at court, but he resigns himself to the ill pleased to be afforded an opportunity of delay with a good grace. . . . A few hours airing his grievances in the royal presence, later he receives a courteous note from Cath- but very resolved not to allow the queen to erine, greatly regretting the inconvenience penetrate the secrets of his party or to ob- to which he is being subjected and inviting tain from him the least concession. He is him to a ball she is giving the following very coldly received, informed that his de- evening. He looks with scant favor on such mands are unreasonable and that the queen worldly pleasures, but he tells himself that fears that it will be impossible to accede it would be churlish, perhaps impolitic, to to them. However, she has not the leisure | refuse. Naturally he meets Mademoiselle, ar- to go into the matter any further at that rayed in a ravishing toilette-very probably moment; let him return at the same hour a present from the queen-and looking more the following day, when she will hope to find alluring than ever. He requests to be pre- him less exigent. And the audience is at sented to her; they dance together, and he an end almost as soon as it has begun. Some- finds her as charming as she is beautiful. what piqued at the abruptness of his dis- Opportunities for further meetings will not missal, he takes his departure, without the be wanting, for by this time the girl has re- faintest suspicion that the most accom- ceived her instructions from headquarters; plished actress of the sixteenth century has and soon there will be no further need for been playing one of her many parts. Pass. Catherine to devise pretexts for keeping the ing through the ante-chamber, he perceives, gentleman at court. When our Huguenot's apparently awaiting her royal mistress' partisans learn what is going on, they will summons, a demure damsel of disturbing write letter upon letter, warning him that an beauty-it is always the freshest and most ambush is being laid for him, and reproach- innocent-looking of the squadron who is de ing him for bringing discredit upon the Faith. tailed for this kind of service—who modest- | But he is now fairly in the toils . . . and ly lowers her eyes as they meet his, but not some very useful information, which has es- Catherine de Medici Cavour, Camillo 112 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES caped his lips in unguarded moments, will and so strict is this rule that, if she quar- find its way into Catherine's cabinet.-II. rel with her usual attendant and cannot find NOEL WILLIAMS, “Henry II.” another in her own circle, she is obliged to Catherine de Medici was the first to use take a barnabote, to whom she gives half a snuff in France and it was called from her sequin a day, or more, to act as her equerry "l'herbe de la reine.” Its earliest use seems in public. She gives him his orders for the to have been a medical one. Sternutatories day, as though he were a servant. Barnabote were the fashion of the day for colds and the is the name applied to certain Venetian no. new plant was seized upon.-EMILY HILL, bles who sell their votes to their richer The Gentleman's Magazine, December, 1900. patrons. Ladies may go out alone in the morning, either on foot or in gondolas, pro- CAUMARTIN, Jacques Etienne, 1760-1825. vided they be dressed in black and enveloped French statesman. in a large hood of taffeta, called a calash.-- One day when the Baron [de Breteuil] was COUNT D'ESPINSCHAL, “Journal,” Venice, dining at M. de Pontchartrain's house among May, 1790. a number of guests, he began to speak rather It was very pleasant to return to the bumptiously. Madame de Pontchartrain, who Countess Max Lutta, who expounded to me was perhaps a little annoyed, wished to take the various usages of the place. She pointed him down a peg or two. She said to him out to me her cavaliere servente. Every lady that, although he appeared to know every. has one; he is a necessity. A woman cannot thing, she felt sure that he did not know who with propriety go anywhere alone; she must composed the Paternoster. Thereupon Bre: have a man constantly with her-driving or teuil began to laugh and joke. His hostess walking, or in the theater. This is the cus- pressed the point and always returned to the tom throughout Italy. Often he is her com- same subject. He defended himself as well panion from choice, but often, on the other as he could and then rose from the table and hand, he bores her as much as her husband. left the room. Caumartin, who was aware The countess assured me that her own cava- of his embarrassment, followed him and liere was a burden to her, but she could not whispered "Moses.” The baron, who had rid herself of him on account of the pro- grown a little confused, thought this was all prieties. He does not understand a word of right and when coffee was served he brought French and she was able to discuss him free- up the subject of the Paternoster triumph ly. She treats him very unceremoniously antly. This time Madame de Pontchartrain and allows herself, I am told, many distrac- had no difficulty in getting her way and Bre tions.—The same, Milan, September, 1789. teuil, after reproaching her a number of times for the doubt she showed in him and the CAVOUR, Camillo Benso di, 1810-1861. shame he felt in being obliged in answering Italian statesman. a question so trivial, said that every one In 1816 he was taken by his parents to knew that Moses was the author of the Pater Geneva on a visit to de la Rives, whose im- noster. There was a loud burst of laughter. pression of him at this period has fortunate- The poor baron, utterly confounded, did not ly been handed down. "He was an arch, know where to hide his diminished head. roguish little fellow, with a lively physiog- Every one repeated his remark until it was nomy, indicating decision, a very amusing worn threadbare. He quarreled with Cau playfulness and inexhaustible spirits. He martin and the Paternoster was held up wore a red coat, which gave him a resolute against him for a long time.-FRANK HAMEL, and at the same time an agreeable air. On “An Eighteenth Century Marquise.” his arrival he was very much excited and told my grandfather that the postmaster at Ge- CAVALIERE SERVENTE. neva, having supplied execrable horses, ought The custom of the cavaliere servente is to be dismissed. “I demand his dismissal,' more rigorous here than in any other part he repeated. “But,' replied my grandfather, of Italy. In Venice he is absolutely obliga 'I cannot dismiss the postmaster; it is only tory; two women would not dare to go about the first syndic who has this power.' 'Well, I alone together, nor is a lady ever seen except desire an audience with the first syndic.' on the arm of at least one man. Each has "You shall have one to-morrow,' replied my her own habitual cavalier, who never leaves grandfather, and he immediately wrote to her for an instant, neither in street nor thea: his friend, M. Schmittmeyer, the first syndic, ter, in piazza, ball room or café, nor even in to announce that he was about to send him a her gondola. A lady of the nobility can only | very droll little fellow. The next day he choose her cavaliere from among the nobles; 1 presented himself at the first syndic's, is 113 Catherine de Medici OF THE GREAT Cavour, Camillo ceremoniously received, and after three for- sion it depended languorously over his fore- mal bows makes a clear and calm statement head. Then a cypher telegram would reach of his complaint and demand. On his return, | him and it would wag in triumph. He must as soon as he caught sight of my grandfather, have been a strange figure in that homely he called out, 'All right; he will be dis attire, never without his round spectacles, missed.'” He was then hardly six. or doubtless, his ever faithful companion- He was born on the first of August, 1810, the cigar which bore and still bears his name. and bred up in a domestic circle regulated by -Edinburgh Review, October, 1910. a kind of patriarchical feeling. So striking Cavour hardly ever contested the account indeed were old customs, especially the pre of a tradesman. At Paris, the keeper of a rogative of primogeniture, observed in it, hotel, where he had passed forty-eight hours, that when Cavour, in the height of his fame, without dining once in it, presented a bill of was occupying the Town House at Turin with twelve hundred francs. “Only think," said his elder brother, he still retained the posi he to a friend with a laugh, “my secretary tion of a cadet and was obliged to take his absolutely refused to pay it. I had a great place every day at the table with the family deal of trouble in bringing him to reason. factor (intendant) whom he detested. “Peo He did not comprehend that to be robbed ple fancy me very powerful,” he remarked without saying a word formed part of my one day in the hearing of M. d'Idlewild; policy." With all this, he never neglected "Well, I have never been able to get rid of the main chance; and the proof is that when Barnabo. I must endure it, whether I like he became minister his private fortune it or not.” amounted to nearly two million of francs. To his family he seemed an abnormal M. de la Rive relates that one day when and unnatural young man. A conversation he was playing at whist with Cavour, on his is on record which took place between two complaining of a persistent run of ill luck, childless aunts who lived with the Cavours. Cavour replied, “The fact is, you have not The date was just before Cavour's departure sufficient respect for the small cards.” His on a first visit to Paris. “Did you remark," own success through life was greatly owing said Madame Vistoire, “how indifferent Ca to his having for the details of management mille seemed to be when I spoke to him of the and administration the respect which he com- Paris theatres? I really do not know what mended for the small cards at whist.—Quar- will interest him in his travels; the poor boy terly Review, July, 1879. is entirely absorbed in revolutions.” “It is Cavour was still under thirty when he quite true," replied Madame Henrietta, "Ca- made up his mind never to marry, because mille has no curiosity about things; he cares of his "unequal temper he feared he could not only about politics.” And the two ladies make a woman happy.”—G. S. GODKIN, Mac- went on to draw melancholy prognostics millan's Magazine, April, 1890. from their nephew's study of political econ- Cavour himself usually inhabited a omy, "an erroneous and absolutely worthless small, half-furnished chamber in which he science.”—EVELYN M. CESARESCO, “Cavour.” transacted business. On holidays his fattore When twenty-four years old, at a time or bailiff, the village doctor and priest, and when the prospects of Italy inspired but lit- one or two farmers of the neighborhood gen- tle hope, Cavour wrote to a friend: “I am erally dined with him at his midday meal. In a very, an enormously ambitious man and appearance and dress he was not unlike one when I am minister I shall justify my am of them. His simple, easy manners, his bition; for, I tell you in my dreams, I al- hearty laugh and cordial greeting were those ready see myself minister of the kingdom of of an honest country gentleman. There never Italy.”-RUPERT S. HOLLAND, "Builders of was a man who looked less like a statesman United Italy." upon whom rested the fate of nations. He Work never frightened Cavour. He made was full of frolic and fun. He would slily a bed up at the War Office on which he slept hint to the doctor that the stranger who had for an hour or two when necessary. The just arrived was Mazzini himself, or he work of the office went on day and night, and would invent for the priest, with the humor Persano, the Piedmontese admiral, gives a and gravity of Charles Lamb, some marvel- graphic picture of the statesman in dressing ous stories of discoveries in unknown re- gown and night-cap hurrying from one de gions made by an English traveler who had partment to another. The tassel on his joined the party. He would enjoy the joke night-cap was an index to his staff of the like a child, rubbing his hands quickly to- progress of events. In moments of depres- gether, as he was wont to do when pleased, Chamberlain, Joseph Charles I. 114 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and keeping up the mystification with infinite relish.-Quarterly Review, July, 1861. He used to say, "Whenever I want any. thing done quickly I always go to a busy man; the unoccupied man never has any time.”—COUNTESS EVELYN M. CESARESCO, “Cavour.” CHAMBERLAIN, Joseph, 1836-1914. Colo- nial Secretary. At the age of eight the little lad trotted off to a school a few doors off. ... The child founded a Peace Society-a supposed charit- able society—the funds of which amounted to fivepence halfpenny, of which the young founder subscribed fourpence, a "tip" from his uncle. Unfortunately the members of the Peace Society quickly fell out as to the disposition of so large a sum and finally the dispute and the society ended together by the handing of the funds in question to an adjacent crossing-sweeper.-Louis CRESS- WICKE, “Life of Joseph Chamberlain.” Mr. Jesse Collings tells a story illustrat- ing the difficulty strangers had in believing Mr. Chamberlain of mature years. They were abroad together (Chamberlain was then thir- ty-nine years of age) and, not finding at Mal.. aga the boat they wanted to take them to Gibraltar, they went on board a small steam- er and tried to arrange with the captain to take them over. He refused, having, as he declared, no accommodation for passengers. Under pressure, however, he consented to give up his cabin to Mr. Collings, saying, “You can take the berth; the youngster must knock it out on the sofa.”—N. MURRELL MARRIS, “Joseph Chamberlain.” “On every committee of thirteen," he said, “there are twelve men who go to the meetings having given no thought to the sub- ject and prepared to accept some one else's lead. One goes having made up his mind what shall be done. I always make it my business to be that one.” I told that illuminating story to a distinguished political hostess. "That is interesting to me," she said, "for I have just seen one of the Senate of Bir- mingham University and he tells me that Mr. Chamberlain came to the last meeting and said, 'I have come to the conclusion that what we want is a Sienna tower. The Sen- ate looked up in astonishment. What we want is a chair for this and a chair for that.' What we want is a Sienna tower,' said Mr. Chamberlain implacably, and in order to lose no time I have got a plan here.' And he drew from his pocket a sketch of his pro- posed tower. ‘And,' added my informant, 'we found ourselves outside an hour later, having agreed to the erection of a tower which we didn't want, at the cost of money we hadn't got and which, if we had got, we needed for other purposes.'” If you go to Birmingham you will see that tower to-day -the enduring monument of an iron will.- A. G. GARDINER, "Pillars of Society." Viscount Haldane has recalled that in 1898, being very anxious to get a bill through Parliament for the establishment of a teach- ing university in London, he went to Mr. Chamberlain, who was then very influential with the government. Mr. Chamberlain said, “Excellent; but, dear me, there is Birming- ham.” “And before I knew where I was," added Viscount Haldane, “he had got a char- ter through for Birmingham and a teaching university established there."-ALEXANDER MACINTOSH, “Joseph Chamberlain.” “I would rather have the hatred of any man than his contempt," said he some years since.-Blackwood's Magazine, April, 1903. His natural pugnacity has always been in evidence; so much so that on one occasion while at dinner Mr. Gladstone good-humored- ly remarked, “I can see Mr. Chamberlain is looking at me through his glass, only waiting until I have finished to get up and protest against what I am saying."-LOUIS CRESS- WICKE, “Life of Joseph Chamberlain." He told me in confidence that he had been very ambitious to be accepted as a suc- cessful playwright. At the time of our con- versation he was known far and wide as one of the foremost of British statesmen. When I told him jokingly that the rejected manu- scripts of long ago would certainly be accept- ed now, he laughed and said: “Very likely, but I have other things to do and the plays must be left out of them.” I should not men- tion this little episode if Mr. Chamberlain had not soon afterwards revealed his secret - possibly I should say his secret sorrow. On July 16, 1889, presiding at the “send-off” din- ner given to Mr. and Mrs. Kendal, prior to their first visit to America, he said: “I my- self do not believe that there is anybody here who can say, as your chairman can proudly say, that he has written a comedy which had the honor of being submitted to the late Mr. Robson, and by him immediately rejected as totally unsuited for his own or any other theater."-T. E. PEMBERTOX, Munsey's Maga- zine, April, 1905. A story that he tells against himself re- lates to a dinner in an important city, at which he was the guest of honor. The mayor 115 I. OF THE GREAT Charles Chamberlain, Joseph presided and when coffee was being served he have another."--T. H. S. ESCOTT, British Re- leaned over and touched Mr. Chamberlain, view, September, 1914. saying, "Shall we let them enjoy themselves Until he was seventy he seemed to hold a little longer or had we better have your the secret of perpetual youth. He throve on speech now?”-ALEXANDER MACINTOSII, “Jo- a regimen of his own. Some one asked him seph Chamberlain.” what the secret was. He smiled and said: His love of flowers we all knew and he “Never to walk if you can drive; and of two was fond of collecting black and white fur- cigars always choose the longest and the niture. He had some rather elementary strongest.”—SIR E. T. COOK, The Contempo- views about the arts-architecture for one- rary Review, August, 1914. but for literature (except French novels, of People seldom saw Mr. Chamberlain out which he had a large assortment) he had of doors without a cigar-a big one--in his not the slightest feeling. When I first knew | mouth. Mr. Chaplin jocularly remarked that him he rented from Lord Acton a house in he did not know a man who smoked more big, Prince's Gate, which, as was natural in a black, nasty-looking cigars. At public lunch- house of Acton's, contained a considerable eons and dinners he would sometimes smoke library. When he left it for Prince's Gardens, during his speech.-ALEXANDER MACINTOSH, I said, “You will miss the library”; to which "Joseph Chamberlain.” he replied with indescribable emphasis: "Li- brary? I don't call that a library. There I do not suppose that in the whole of the isn't a single book of reference in it.”—G. W. United Kingdom there is any man who is less E. RUSSELL, Cornhill Magazine, September, of an athlete than I am. I do not cycle; I do not ride; I do not walk when I can help 1914. it; I do not play cricket; I do not play foot- Mr. Chamberlain's orchid was almost as ball; I do not play tennis and I do not even constant a companion as his eye-glass. Day play golf, which I have been assured is an after day in the House of Commons he wore indispensable condition of statesmanship. The one in his coat-an exquisite glint of color in fact is that I do not take any exercise at all. a somber scene. At Highbury he occupied -JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN, quoted by Alexander himself with the collection of the various spe | MacIntosh, “Joseph Chamberlain.” cies of orchids, their cross-breeding and the "So many of the pleasures of life are il- consequent production of hybrids and the lusory,” he once said to me, “but a good din- rearing of seedlings. An eminent authority ner is a reality."--G. W. E. RUSSELL, Corn- in 1914 expressed the opinion that the col- hill Magazine, September, 1914. lection was worth £25,000.-ALEXANDER MAC- INTOSH, “Joseph Chamberlain.” “Exercise was invented by the doctors to bring grist to their mill. They know that The Chamberlain eye-glass was worn be- | men who went in for exertion soon came to cause it was really wanted and used. The them as patients. When I was a young man Chamberlain orchid only began to bloom at I believed them and I constantly suffered from Westminster eight years after the eye-glass congestive headaches. Now I defy them and had ceased to be a novelty. The wearer of am perfectly well. I eat and drink what I the blossom was a cabinet minister when he like and as much as I like. I smoke the and it became the subject of an anecdote, not strongest cigars all day and the only exer- the less suggestive or characteristic because cise I take is to walk up to bed. That is altogether imaginary. The President of the quite enough for a man who has worked his Board of Trade, as he had then become, was brain all day--and I mean to live a hundred.” attracted to a florist's shop in Paris by an ex -Joseph Chamberlain, quoted by G. W. E. tremely beautiful orchid priced at five hun RUSSELL, Cornhill Magazine, September, 1914. dred francs. “Is this particular plant," asked Mr. Chamberlain, "at all common in France ?" CHARLES I., 1600-1649. King of England. "On the contrary,” answered the shopkeeper, A tradition is still current at Huntingdon “no one has it except myself and I have had of an accidental meeting between the son of it only a very little time.” The reply had the brewer and Charles I., when children, and scarcely been given when the visitor pro nearly of the same age, at Hinchinbrooke- duced a five-hundred-franc note, took the house, the seat of his uncle, Sir Oliver. This orchid, tore it to pieces and proceeded to occurrence is said to have taken place in the trample it under his feet. "The truth," he year 1603, on occasion of the journey of explained, "is, I, too, have one of that kind at Charles, then Duke of York, from Scotland to home and do not wish anybody in Europe to | London; but it must have occurred, if at all, Charles I Charles I. 116 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES or some other of the state rooms, as he did when in London. At any rate we have an interesting reminiscence of the custom in an old picture preserved at this palace, which was painted by Van Bassan for Charles and is inscribed with the date 1637. Although the architecture indicates that the chamber de- pictured was not one at Hampton Court, yet in other points the picture is sufficiently il- lustrative of similar scenes at this palace. The king and queen are seated at the table side by side, with the little prince (after- wards Charles II.) at the end of the table. They are being served by gentlemen-in-wait- ing. At the end of the room is a raised and recessed gallery or dais, where the public are looking on.—ERNEST LAW, "History of Hamp- ton Court." in September, 1604, to which year the com- ing of the young prince was deferred on ac- count of indisposition. The story, however, derives support from the known fact, that the mansion of this singularly worthy and loyal knight was generally one of the resting places of the royal family when on their journeys from the north to the English capi- tal. In the former year, for instance, when James was on his way to take possession of his new kingdom, he paid a visit to Sir Oli. ver, and accepted of a splendid entertain- ment at his hands. But what fixed the at: tention of political prophets in the succeed- ing age was the memorable fact that the two boys had not been long together before Charles and his companion disagreed; and as the former was then as weakly as the other was strong, it is no wonder that the royal visitant was worsted. Oliver, even at this age, so little regarded dignity that he made the royal blood flow in copious streams from the prince's nose. This, observes Mr. Noble, was looked upon as a bad presage for that king when the civil war began.-M. RUSSELL, "Life of Cromwell.” However, the story goes, one day my lady Countess (Mary Villiers, daughter of the Duke of Buckingham] took it into her head to desire some fruit from the king's private garden. Iler ladyship scrambled up into the tree, but there her black dress and fluttering veil attracted the king's attention and made him think some strange bird had alighted into the garden. He called Mr. Por- ter, who was a good marksman, and desired him to take his fusee and secure the bird. But when Mr. Porter arrived at the tree, he was received with a shower of fruit and, looking up, he saw the laughing face of the girl above him. “Oh, heavens!” he cried, "did you know the reason that brought me here? I have promised the king to kill you and bring him some of your feathers.” “You must be a man of your word,” answered the countess, laughing, and she sent off in haste for a large hamper and got into it, and then she made one of her gentlemen take one end and Mr. Porter the other, and so was carried to the king, Mr. Porter saying that he had had the good fortune to take the bird alive. His majesty, eager to see the booty, opened the basket when the little lady sprang out and flung her arms around his neck, giving him, we are told, a very agreeable surprise. -DOROTHEA TOWNSEND, "Endymion Porter." When Charles came to his palace on these occasions, we may presume that he sometimes dined in public in the great hall The government, actuated by that absurd policy which appeared in almost all its pub- lic deeds, meant to check the rising spirit of the people, issued a proclamation prohibiting every one from leaving the country who had not obtained a royal license. This being found insufficient, an order in council was set forth, commanding the lord treasurer “to take speedy and effectual course for the stay of eight ships, then in the river Thames, prepared to go to New England, and for put- ting on land all the passengers and provi- sions therein intended for the voyage." In these vessels were embarked Sir Arthur Hazel- rigg, Hampden, Pym and Oliver Cromwell. It has been well observed that the king had afterwards full leisure to repent this exercise of his authority.-M. RUSSELL, "Life of Cromwell.” Scarcely had King Charles and Henrietta begun their married life when dissensions arose. It was indeed well nigh impossible that it could be otherwise. The queen was a Catholic and a woman of spirit, surrounded by Catholic nobles and ecclesiastics who were incapable of accommodating their views to the bitter prejudices of their new country. A ridiculous example of the strife that was waged at court is vouched for in the annals of the day. The queen's chaplain was eager to have the privilege of saying grace before meals, but was outmaneuvered by his Protes- tant rival, much to his chagrin, while the courtiers shared the feelings of the belliger- ents according as they were English or French. The climax was an inimitable farce. The two chaplains waited like hounds of met- tle for the last mouthful to be swallowed. Again the English chaplain scored. Rome, however, was not to be altogether eclipsed and the Frenchman in a loud voice essayed 117 Charles I. Charles I. OF THE GREAT to drown his rival's prayers with his own. send you his portrait as soon as he is a little In the end the king heard neither, for he fairer, for the present he is so dark that I walked away from the table in disgust.-P. F. am ashamed of him.-Letter from the queen W. RYAN, “Stuart Life and Manners.” of England to Madame de Motteville, A. C. In the year 1621, when the long pending A. BRETT, “Charles II. and His Court.” negotiations for the marriage of Charles with A few days before or after Charles's the Spanish Infanta began to be pursued with concealment in the oak, he happened to seek a new prospect of success, Dr. Hakewill, refuge in a farm house the mistress of which moved solely, as it would appear, by a sense (I imagine Dame Joane) dressed him like a of duty to religion, to his country and to the clown and set him to turn the spit. His prince himself, drew up a small tractate cal pursuers, having an idea of his being on culated to dissuade him from marriage with the premises, examined them very closely a Catholic princess. This he offered to him and in their search entered the kitchen. On in manuscript, entreating him at the same their approach Charles looked around; time to conceal it from the king, “or he which his protectress observing, she seized should be undone for his good will.” Charles the basting ladle and with it gave the king took the piece, as we are told, with many a severe blow on the back, saying to him thanks, and promised that "it should never very angrily, “And what do you stare at, go further than the cabinet of his own you dog, you? Why do you not mind what breast," but at the same time inquired you are about?” This reprimand furnished to whom it had been communicated previous. Charles with a pretext for keeping his eyes ly. Hakewill replied that he had shown it fixed downward upon the spit, which atti- to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who, on re tude, together with the slouched hat, effec- turning it, said, "Well done, thou good and tually concealed him from the recognizance faithful servant.” Two hours afterwards, the of his enemies.—The Gentleman's Magazine, prince, regardless of his promise, carried the February, 1793. piece to the king, by whose illegal command The dogs to which O'Neil alluded were Hakewill, in common with all others who had a pack of hounds thoughtlessly sent from ventured to declare their opposition to this England as a present to the king (Charles II. favorite measure of his policy, was thrown in exile in Holland). Their arrival proved into prison.-LUCY AIKIN, “Memoirs of the a serious embarrassment, and the king, un- Court of Charles I.” able to incur the expense of keeping them, Charles I. was actually playing at it ordered their immediate return to the donor. [chess) in the Scots camp when intelligence | But that also required money, and O'Neil had was brought to him of their final resolution none. His request to the Princess Mary that to betray him. In due praise of the royal she would either keep the hounds for her steadiness, the historian observes, “that he own use or pay for their removal met with continued in the game without interruption." a decided refusal and in the end he judged See Hume's "History of England,” or, as their despatch to Cologne the most economi- Lord Chatham once called it, “his apology for cal plan.—Eva SCOTT, "Travels of the King." the house of Stuart.”—JOUALMON, “Anec "The king," wrote Shaftesbury, "had he dotes and Speeches of the Earl of Chatham.” been so happy as to be born a private gen- tleman, had certainly passed for a man of CHARLES II., 1630-1685. King of England. good parts, excellent breeding and well-nur- The husband of my son's nurse going to tured.” It was Charles's misfortune to have France about some business of his wife, I been born a prince. Easy, familiar, ready write you this letter by him, believing that to give and take a jest, his tastes lay in a you will be very glad to ask him news of my way far removed from kingship. He gloried son, of whom I think you have seen the por in cock-fighting, horse-racing, the theater, trait that I sent the queen, my mother. He dancing and gambling. Few men under- (subsequently Charles II.] is so ugly that I stood navigation better than he did. He am ashamed of him; but his size and features played tennis exceedingly well and a scrib- supply the want of beauty. I wish you could bled note handed to Clarendon across the see the gentleman, for he has no ordinary council table, runs, "I am going to take my mien; he is so serious in all that he does that usual physic at tennis,” which physic he I cannot help deeming him wiser than my- often “took by five o'clock in the morning." self. . . . He is so fat that he is taken for He wore out his people with early rising a year old, and he is only four months. His and walked so fast that few could keep teeth are already beginning to come. I will | pace with him. Much of his time was spent Charles I. 118 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in his laboratory in Whitehall. Wherever he usually wore their hair long, but periwigs went he was followed by a train of little soon came in, the king being behindhand in spaniels. They slept in his room and ac this, as in most other fashions. Gradually the companied him to the council chamber.-- periwig assumed a disproportionate place in DOROTHY SENIOR, "The Gay King." daily life, both as an expense and as an "Had this king but loved business as object of attention, affection, even of ven- well as he understood it, he would have been eration, a white peruke being the ne plus the greatest prince in Europe,” declared Sir ultra of elegance. The gentlemen always car- Richard Bulstrode. "He was not a king a ried special pocket-combs wherewith to dress quarter of an hour together in his whole their wigs in the anteroom on paying a call, reign," wrote Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham- or on entering the theater; and these combs shire.—DOROTHY SENIOR, “The Gay King." were more important than the side-glass wherewith they quizzed the ladies from their The race for the 2000 guineas at New- boxes, or as they passed them in the Mall market is over the Rowley mile. It is said or in the Park. The wig was at first more that the name of Rowley mile had its origin or less even at the top, though long and in the time of Charles II. and was taken curly, but it became exaggerated in height, from a nickname of the king. Why was length and curliness, swelling out above into Charles II. called “Old Rowley"? (Charles a great excrescence called the fore-top, which II. was so named after a goat of very amor- was made to wag or bow portentously when ous propensities, but very good-humored and a gallant made a reverence to a lady.-A. C. familiar, which used to dwell in the Privy A. BRETT, "Charles II. and his Court." Garden. Lord Braybrooke, 1st series, IX, 477, says that the animal was a stallion in the The supply of actresses was not suffi- royal stud and adds that its reputation is cient and handsome young men still had to preserved in the Rowley mile. See 1st series, wear petticoats. Performances commenced passim.) ---Notes and Queries, May 6, 1905. at three in the afternoon. On one occasion the king arrived too early and, growing Dress, immediately after the restoration impatient, sent to ask why the play did not burst into a wild and joyful efflorescence after begin. The distracted manager went to the the "close time" of the Commonwealth, an royal box to explain: "May it please your efflorescence largely of ribbon, which appeared majesty, the queen is not yet shaved.”— wherever possible. The men wore “short DOROTHY SENIOR, “The Gay King." coats and slit sleeves, shewing much linen; ruffled petticoat, or long, wide breeches, The palm among courtly repartees must adorned with canons or frills of lace or rib- be given to Waller's, on Charles II.'s asking bong at the knees, lace cravats, broad- him how it happened that his panegyric on brimmed feathered hats, small cloaks, shoes Cromwell was better than his verses on the square-toed, high-heeled and tied with a long- restoration, “Poets, your majesty, succeed ended bow of ribbon. The ladies have short better in fiction than in truth."-Quarterly slit, be-ribboned sleeves, low-necked bodices, Review, April, 1861. full skirts, usually of satin." In 1667, the His majesty's connection with the king announced his intention of breaking | [Royal] Society is both historically and away from the French fashion of dress and traditionally ludicrous. He granted them assuming the Persian style, "a long cassock, lands in Ireland, but failed to give them close to the body of black cloth and pinked possession. He gave a paltry sum to found with white silk under it, and a coat over it, an observatory, but he gave no instruments and the legg ruffled with black ribands like a with which to observe. He appointed Flam- pigeon's leg.” The king soon decided that steed his astronomer; but he both over- black and white made them look like mag. wrought and starved him. He gave the pies and took to an all-black_velvet suit. Society a mace constructed especially for its Louis XIV. revenged himself by dressing his use; but it would have possessed more in- footmen in this style and thus caused the terest if it had been the bauble Cromwell noblemen who had bet the king he would not kicked instead of the mace which the sover- keep to the new fashion, to win their wagers. eign gave. It was not given to make the Men's gloves were fringed, scented with jas Society respected, but to make it royal. He mine or orange; ladies (and sometimes men presented the Society with five little glass also) wore long gloves which came up the bubbles-a suitable emblem of the generosity arm, and preferred those from Martial's at of the donor. He sent a poisoned dagger to Paris. Both women and men used muffs. the president, but the kitten lanced with it For a short time after the restoration men refused to die. He gave the Society a gift 119 Charles II. OF THE GREAT of Chelsea College; but he got it back again when repaired, a great bargain. . . . His majesty, through the president, wagered £50 to £5 "for the compression of air by water." Hooke made the experiment and the Society acknowledged in its minutes "that his maj- esty had won the wager.”—North British Review, January, 1854, citing Charles R. Weld's "History of the Royal Society.” Quick in Reply and Action King Charles of England, spending a cheer- ful evening with a few friends, one of the company, seeing his majesty in good humor, thought it a fit time to ask his majesty a favor and was so absurd as to do so. After he had mentioned his suit the king instantly and very acutely replied, “Sir, you must ask your king for that."--The Gentleman's Mag- azine, September, 1809, quoting "Anonymi- ana." The king asked Bishop Stillingfleet "how it came to pass that he always read his ser- mons before him, when, he was informed, he always preached without a book elsewhere?". To which he replied that “the awe of so noble an audience, where he saw nothing that was not greatly superior to him, but, chiefly, the seeing before him of so great and so wise a prince, made him afraid to trust himself.” With which answer the king was very well contented. “But pray," says Stillingfleet, "will your majesty give me leave to ask you a question too? Why do you read your speeches in Parliament, where you can have none of these same reasons ?” “Why, truly, doctor,” responded the king, "your question is a very pertinent one and so will be my answer. I have asked them so often and for so much money, that I am ashamed to look them in the face.”-J. C. HORE, “History of Newmarket," quoting Jonathan Richards, “Richardsoniana." This “slothful way of preaching," for so the king called it, had arisen during the civil wars; and Monmouth, when Chancellor of the University of Cambridge, in compliance with the order of the king, directed a letter to the university that the practise of reading ser- mons should be wholly laid aside.-PETER CUNNINGHAM, “The Story of Nell Gwyn," citing Wilkin's "Concilia.” When King Charles II. came to see the hunting palace which Sir Christopher Wren had built him at Newmarket he told him he thought “the rooms too low.” Sir Christo- pher, who was a little man, walked round them and looking up and about him, said, “I think, and it please your majesty, they are high enough.” The king squatted down to his height and, creeping down in this whim- sical posture, cried, “Aye, Sir Christopher, I think they are high enough."-JONATHAN RICHARDS, “Richardsoniana.” His barber, whom he admitted to con- siderable freedom, was one morning shav- ing him, when the fellow, as was customary with him, commenced hazarding one of his trifling remarks. "I consider," he said, "that none of your majesty's officers have a greater trust than I.” “How so, friend ?” said the king. “Why," said the fellow, “I could cut your majesty's throat whenever I liked." Charles started up at the idea. Using his favorite oath, "Ods fish!” he exclaimed, "the very thought is treason; you shall shave me no more.”-JONATHAN RICHARDS, “Richard- soniana." James instantly alighted and, after pay- ing his respects to the king, expressed his uneasiness at seeing him with so small an at- tendance and his fears that his life might be endangered. "No kind of danger, James," said the king, "for I am sure no man in Eng- land will take away my life to make you king.” This story, says Dr. King in his “Anecdotes of His Own Time," Lord Cro- marty frequently related to his friends. John H. JESSE, "England Under the House of Stuart.” The court of the restoration were pasg. ing the summer at Winchester while Ken be- longed to the capitular body. A fragment of dialogue between Canon Ken and Lord Weymouth, relating to this period, has been preserved: “They are going, I hear, to bil- let Madame Eleanor Gwyn upon your pre- bendal residence.” “They will do no such thing," Ken replied. And when Nell an. nounced her arrival beneath the canonical roof she received the polite but firm reply that no accommodation could be offered. “This fellow,” remarked the king to Thynne, "may be a hypocrite, but he is no sycophant. Ods fish! I must make a bishop of him.” Very shortly after the royal mistress had very nearly seen the prebendal door closed in her face, the see of Bath and Wells fell vacant. It was at once offered to and ac- cepted by Ken. The only time Charles ap- pears to have seen Ken was on his deathbed. “That prelate of mine," murmured the mori- bund sovereign, “has spoken to me as a man inspired."-T. H. S. ESCOTT, “Society in the Country House.” A gentleman in King Charles II.'s time, who had paid a tedious attendance at court for a place and had a thousand promises, at Charles . 120 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES length resolved to see the king himself; so of these periods of exile he revenged himself getting himself introduced he told his maj by writing his well-known lines: esty what pretensions he had to his favor "Here lies a mighty monarch, and boldly asked him for the place just then Whose promise none relies on; vacant. The king, hearing his story, told Who never said a foolish thing, him that he had just given the place away; Nor ever did a wise one,” upon which the gentleman made a very low and fastening them to the gate at White- obeisance to the king and thanked him ex- tremely, which he repeated very often. The hall. When the king heard of it he is said king, observing how over-thankful he was, to have replied: "That is easily accounted asked him the reason why he gave such ex- for; my words are my own; my actions traordinary thanks when he had denied his those of my ministers." So it is stated in suit. “The rather, please your majesty," the “Miscellaneous Works of Lords Roches- replied the gentleman, “because your court- ter and Roscommon” (1707). But Sir Wal- iers have kept me waiting here these two ter Scott says the lines were the result of a years and gave me a thousand put-offs, but playful request from the king that Rochester your majesty has saved all that trouble and would write his epitaph. This version rung: generously given me my answer at once." "Here lies our sovereign lord, the king; "Cods fish, man,” said the king, “thou shalt Whose word no man relied on," etc.--"Roch- ester and Other Literary Rakes of the Court have the place for thy downright honesty.”— JOHN MOTTLEY, “Joe Miller's Jest Book.” of Charles II.," ANONYMOUS. The Lord Rochester verses upon the king He [the Duke of York] was perpetually on account of his majesty's saying he would in one amour or other, without being very leave every one to his liberty in talking, when nice in his choice: Upon which the king said himself was in company, and would not take once he believed his brother had his mistresses what was said at all amiss, viz.: "We have given him by his priests for penance.- a pretty witty king," etc. The version I have BISHOP GILBERT BURNET, “History of his been used to being, “God save our mutton. Own Time." eating king,” etc.—Blackwood's Magazine, July 15, 1662. The Royal Society, on | May, 1857. this day of its creation, was the whetstone Penn, thinking proper to carry his sec- of the wit of its patron, Charles II. With a tarian prejudices into the presence of royalty, peculiar gravity of countenance he proposed had continued standing before the king with: to the assembly the following question for out removing his hat. Nothing could be solution: “Suppose two pails of water were more characteristic than the quiet rebuke of fixed in different scales equally poised and / Charles: he merely took off his hat and stood which weighed equally alike, and that two uncovered before Penn. "Friend Charles," live bream, or small fish, were put into said the future legislator, “why dost thou either of these pails, he wanted to know | not keep on thy hat?" “ 'Tis the custom of the reason why that pail with such addi- | this place,” replied the witty monarch, "for tion should not weigh more than the other only one person to remain uncovered at a pail which stood against it.” Every one time.”—JOIN H. JESSE, “England Under the was ready to set at rest the royal curiosity, House of Stuart," citing Grey's “Hudibras" but it appeared that every one was giving a and “Grainger's Biographical Dictionary." different opinion. One at length offered so [Agnes Strickland, “Queens of England," ridiculous a solution, that another of the substitutes James II. for Charles II.) members could not refrain from a loud laugh, In December, 1660, Charles granted an when the king, turning to him, insisted that he should give his sentiments as well interview to Thomas Moore, of Hartswood, as the rest. who had been a justice of the peace, in order This he did without hesitation and told his majesty in plain terms that he to receive a petition upon Quaker suffering. denied the fact. On which the king, in high There was much debate amongst the courtiers, mirth, exclaimed, "Odds fish, brother, you are in the presence of the king, what they should in the right.”-SIR WILLIAM HAMILTON, do with this sturdy Quaker's hat. All agreed "Lectures on Metaphysics”; RICHARD WHATE- that he could not be called in with his hat on and that he would never take it off him- LY, “Logic." self. Some one proposed that it might be For his atrocious verses on the king | removed gently by the clerk of the council. Rochester was occasionally banished from The king, the greatest gentleman of them all, the court; and it is likely that during one declared that the hat should not be taken off 121 Charles II. OF THE GREAT at all, unless Thomas himself should choose pleasure, often disappointed the council to remove it; no other should take it off. either by not attending or by withdrawing “When I saw the king at the head of the before the business was concluded. One day table with the council,” says Moore, "I made the council sat a considerable time in expec- a stop, not knowing but that I might give tation of his majesty, when the Duke of offense, when one of the council spoke to me Lauderdale, so distinguished for his haughty and said, 'You may go up; it is the king's demeanor, quitted the room in a great pas- pleasure that you may come to him with your sion. On his way he met Killigrew, to whom hat on.'” His whole account of the inter he expressed himself more freely than courte- view shows that there was not a particle ously, respecting his majesty. Killigrew bade of rudeness or impertinent self-assertion in his grace be calm, for he would lay a wager the sturdy Quaker. Six years later, when of a hundred pounds that he would make his Adam Barfoot, "came out of Huntingdon- | majesty attend the council in less than half shire to warn the king,” he met Charles at an hour. Lauderdale took him at his word Whitehall, “betimes in the morning, going and Killigrew, getting immediate admission a-hunting." "Adam stepped to the coach to the king, told him all that had happened, side," says Ellis Hook in a letter to Mar adding, "I know your majesty hates Lauder- garet Fell, "and laid his hand upon it and dale, though the necessity of your majesty's said, 'King Charles, my message is this day affairs oblige you to receive him; now, if you unto thee, in behalf of God's poor, afllicted, wish to get rid of a man you hate, come to suffering people.'” When he came to the the council, for Lauderdale is a man so coachside the footman took off his hat, “but boundlessly avaricious, that rather than pay the king bid him give the man his hat again the wager, he will hang himself and never and was very mild and moderate.” Similar plague you more.” The king laughed at the testimony to the good-natured and gentle observation and attended the council.- manner of Charles II., from men who were the "Percy Anecdotes." very opposite to his courtiers and cavaliers, Leti, being one day at Charles II.'s levee, occurs frequently in the autobiographies and the king said to him, “Leti, I hear that you letters of the first generation of Quakers.- are writing the history of the court of Eng. The Saturday Review, February 12, 1876. land.” “Sire," said he, "I have been for Every one has heard of the famous Dr. some time preparing material for such a his- Busby, headmaster of Westminster, who tory.” “Take care," said the king, “that while showing Charles II. over the school, your work give no offense.” “Sire,” replied apologized to that merry monarch for keep- | Leti, “I will do what I can, but if a man were ing his hat on in the presence of royalty, as wise as Solomon he would scarce be able to "for," said he, “it would not do for my boys avoid giving some offense.” “Why, then," to suppose that there existed in the world a rejoined the king, “be as wise as Solomon; greater man than Dr. Busby."--CAPTAIN write proverbs, not history.”—“Grainger's REES HOWELL GRONOW, “Recollections." Biographical Dictionary," Supplement. A thief dressed like a courtier managed He [Rochester] one night accompanied to get into the palace at Newmarket and the king to a celebrated house of intrigue, picked Lord Arlington's pocket of a snuff- where the finest women in Europe were to box. As he did so he saw that the king be found during the races. The king made was watching him, when he had the supreme no scruple to assume his usual disguise and impudence to put his finger to his nose, to to go with him. While he was engaged wink at his majesty and then to decamp. with one of the ladies, she, having been pre- Charles said nothing, but watched Lord Ar- viously instructed by Rochester, picked his lington and was presently much amused by pocket of all his money and his watch, which seeing him feeling in one pocket after the king did not immediately miss. Neither another for his snuff-box. “You need not the people of the house nor the girl herself give yourself any more trouble about it,” | knew or had the least suspicion of the qual- said his majesty, "your box is gone and I ity of the visitor. After some time he in- own myself an accomplice. I could not help | quired for Rochester, but was told that his it; I was made a confidant."-J. C. HORE, companion had quitted the house without "History of Newmarket.” taking leave, but what was his embarrass- The jester Killigrew frequently had ac- ment when, upon searching his pockets to cess to Charles II., when admission was de discharge his reckoning, he discovered that nied to the first peers of the realm. Charles, his money was gone. He was then induced who hated business as much as he loved to ask the favor of the mistress of the Charles II. Charles V. 122 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES house to give him credit till the next day, Mr. Hunt (Rev. W.], usually so accurate as the gentleman who had come with him and careful, affords an amusing instance of and had not returned was to have paid for the importance of not mistaking a B for an 0. both. The consequence of this request was He gives the well-known story of the first that he was much abused and laughed at; Duke of St. Albans: “It is said that one the woman of the house plainly told him that day, when the king was with Nell Gwyn, she she had seldom been served such dirty tricks called to the child, 'Come hither, you little and would not permit him to stir until the bastard, and speak to your father.' Nay, reckoning was paid. She then called one Nelly,' said the king, do not give the child of her bullies to take care of him. In this such a name.' 'Your majesty,' she answered, ridiculous dilemma stood the British mon 'has given me no other name by which to call arch, prisoner ..., and the life on which him. Upon which the king gave him the were fixed a nation's hopes was thus put name of Beauclerk and created him Earl of into the hands of a ruffian. After much Burford,” and he then adds that "the story altercation the king at length proposed can hardly be accurately told for the child that she should accept a ring which he was created Baron Heddington and Earl of took off his finger in pledge of her money, Burford, both in Oxfordshire, before the end which she refused, telling him that she was of 1670, the year of his birth.” In fact it no judge of the value of the ring; she did was in 1676, not 1670, that the boy was not choose to accept such pledges. The dis created Earl of Burford.-Quarterly Review, guised monarch then desired that a jeweler April, 1887. be called to give his opinion of the value of One water excursion, Nell Gwyn had pro- it, but he was answered that this expedient vided angling rods with silk lines and hooks was impracticable, as no jeweler could be of gold. The king fished like the rest, but supposed to be out of bed. After much en- caught nothing. The ladies so ridiculed him treaty his majesty at last prevailed upon the that he declared he would fish no longer and, fellow to knock up a jeweler and show him putting up his line, found half a dozen fried the ring. The jeweler found the ring so smelts tied to the hook with a silken thread. immensely rich that he exclaimed, “But one Every one laughed and Nelly said, “So great man in the nation can afford to wear it and a king ought to have something above the that is the king.” Astonished at the cir- rest; even poor fishermen catch fish alive; cumstance, he went out with the messenger, it was proper that the king's should be in order to be fully satisfied of such an ex ready dressed."--MRS. ARTHUR COLVILLE, traordinary affair, and as soon as he entered "Duchess of Marlborough." he fell upon his knees and with the utmost One day she was driving her coach to respect presented the ring to his majesty. Whitehall, when a dispute arose between her The people of the house, finding the ex- coachman and another who was driving a traordinary quality of their guest, were con- countess, who in the midst of the discussion founded and asked pardon in the most sub- told his rival that he himself drove a count- missive manner. The king with great good ess, whilst his lady was neither more nor humor forgave them and, laughing, asked less than a prostitute. The indignant Jehu whether the ring would not bear another jumped from his seat and administered to the bottle. ... Rochester he never forgave, nor offender a severe beating. When Nell learned would ever see him after this adventure. from him the cause of the quarrel, she told J. C. HORE, “History of Newmarket.” him "to go to and never risk his carcase He had been, he said, an unconscionable again but in defense of truth.”—Scott's edi. time dying, but he hoped they would excuse tion of “Grammont's Memoirs." it.-LORD MACAULAY, “History of England." “Oh, Nell,” said Charles to her one day, With His Mistresses “what shall I do to please the people of England ? I am Among the most reprehensible of the torn to pieces by their clamors.” “If it please your majesty," she minor frailties of his life, for which he must answered, “there is but one way left.” “What be considered personally responsible, was his is that ?” said the king. “Dismiss your ladies, squandering on his mistresses the £70,000 may it please your majesty, and mind your voted by the House for a monument to his business.”—SCOTT's edition of “Grammont's father. ... The excuse that his father's Memoirs.” grave was unknown was silly in the extreme and has since been proved to be without CHARLES IV., 1748-1819. King of Spain. foundation.-PETER CUNNINGHAM, “The | He had for his first violin teacher the cele- Story of Nell Gwyn.” I brated Alexander Boucher, with whom he 123 Charlos I. Charles V. OF THE GREAT greatly enjoyed playing; but he had a mania told that Spanish etiquette forbade the pres- for beginning first without paying any atten ence of any one lower in quality than a tion to the measure; and if M. Boucher made Spanish grandee, he exclaimed, “Very well; any observation in regard to this, his majesty I now make him one; so let him come in and would reply with the greatest coolness, “Mon- help me on with my shirt."-T. F. THISTLE- sieur, it seems to me that it is not my place ton-DYER, “Royalty in All Ages.” to wait for you.”—LOUIS CONSTANT, “Recol- I was very much amused by the account lections of Napoleon." which Lord Albemarle gave me last night of the ceremonies which take place between the As to the king, he had also a passion death of a king of Spain and his burial. for music, but a very unfortunate one. Every Every day the royal table is prepared for day on returning from hunting, he had a con- dinner and the dead body of the king is cert in his private apartment. The king took his violin and bore a part in a quartette suitably dressed. After a time the chamber- lain comes in to announce to the nobles in of Haydn or a quintette of Boccherini. The attendance that the king does not choose to reader may judge what some of our most dine on that day, whereupon they all sit famous violinists, who were then in Spain down to table. The dead body is then con- and were required to play with the king, veyed to the vault. After the funeral service must have suffered. Libon, whose enchanting talent is well known, passed some time in has been read all the attendants remain Madrid and, like others, was of the royal until the proper officer makes a solemn an- nouncement that it pleases his majesty to party. One of these poor martyrs informed remain where he has been laid. Thus a dead me that one evening a terrible confusion arose king of Spain is treated to the last as if he in a tutti passage. It was not the fault were actually alive and a free agent.--LADY of the professors and, after a little consulta- tion, Olivieri, whom I often heard at Lisbon, SHELLEY, “Diary,” 1819. where he was first violin at the Grand Opera, CHARLES V., 1500-1558. King of Spain ventured to tell the king that the fault was and Emperor of Germany. his. His majesty had hurried on without It would appear that Charles was naturally waiting during three bars' rest which oc- timid. A mouse or a spider could produce curred in his part. The good-natured monarch effects denied to the Grand Turk or the appeared quite thunderstruck. He gazed at French king. He sometimes had trembling Olivieri with amazement and then, laying fits; for instance, in his bed at Ingoldstadt, down his bow, he said majestically in Italian, when the approach of the Lutheran army was “Il Re n'aspettano mai” (The king never announced. Yet here it was, pinned against waits for any one.)-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, the town wall, and plied by more than a "Memoirs." hundred guns, he proved, as in the terrible I spoke above of the fondness of the king retreat from Algiers, the fine temper of his of Spain for watches. I have been told that courage.-EDWARD ARMSTRONG, "The Emperor while at Fontainebleau he had half a dozen Charles V.” of his watches worn by his valet de chambre, It is said that before rising in the morn- and wore as many himself, giving as a rea- | ing potted capon was usually served to him, son that pocket watches lose time by not be- prepared with sugar, milk and spice, and, ing carried. I have also heard that he kept after partaking of which, he would turn to his confessor' always near him, in the ante- sleep again.-T. F. THISTLETON-DYER, “Roy. chamber, or in the room in front of that in alty in All Ages.” which he worked, and that when he wished Indifference in dress, as with other men, to speak to him he whistled, exactly as one probably grew upon the emperor after mar. would whistle for a dog. The confessor never riage, for the costumes of earlier days might failed to respond promptly to this royal call be envied by modern German royalty. Dur. and followed his penitent into the embrasure ing the twenty months from 1519 to 1520 he of a window, in which improvised confes. ordered fifty-three pairs of stockings and one sional the king divulged what he had on his hundred and sixty-three pairs of shoes and conscience, received absolution and sent back slippers.-EDWARD ARMSTRONG, “The Em- the priest until he felt himself obliged to peror Charles V.” whistle for him again.—LOUIS CONSTANT, Charles in his intervals of relaxation “Recollections of Napoleon.” used to retire to Brussels. He was a prince Charles IV. of Spain had all the spirit | curious to know the sentiments of the mean- and wit of his father. On requiring the l est subjects concerning himself and his ad- presence of Losada at his toilet, and when I ministration; therefore often went out incog, Charles V. Charles VII. 124 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and mixed himself with such companies and with a boot and the imperial crown upon it conversations as he thought proper. One and in all processions the Company of Cob- night, his boot requiring immediate mend blers take place of the Company of Shoe- ing, he was directed to a cobbler. Unluckily makers.-Universal Spectator, February, it happened to be St. Crispin's holiday and, 1740. instead of finding the cobbler inclined to When Charles V. returned from Tunis he work, he was in the height of jollity among traveled by land through Calabria and to his acquaintances. The emperor acquainted Naples and did much good by the road. See- him with what he wanted and offered a ing Calabria without corn, and being told it handsome gratuity. “What, friend," says was too mountainous and too cold for it to the fellow, “do you know no better than to ripen, he ordered rye seed to be brought from ask any one of our craft to work on St. Germany. It succeeds well and is now uni- Crispin? Were it Charles V. himself I would versal in these parts, where it is known by not do a stitch for him now. But if you'll the name of Germano. At La Cava the town come in and drink St. Crispin, do and wel. council met to consider what present they come. We are as merry as the emperor can should give the emperor. Some were for be.” The sovereign accepted the offer but, pine-apples, the kernels of which are of vast while he was contemplating on their rude size, but the majority carried it in favor of pleasure instead of joining in it, the jovial a kind of fig, which they cover with mats host thus accosted him: “What! I suppose in winter, and in March (the time of the you are some courtier-politician or other by emperor's passing) the fruit is very ripe that contemplative phiz-Nay, by your long and delicious eating. The emperor received nose, you may be an illegitimate offspring the deputies very graciously and, expressing of the emperor. But be who and what you surprise at the fineness of the fruit at that will, you are heartily welcome. Drink about season of the year, inquired whether they -here's Charles Vi's health!” “Then you love Charles V. ?" the emperor replied. “Love could preserve any quantity of them and whether they were in abundance. “Oh," said him?" says the son of St. Crispin; "aye; I the wise mayor, "we have such plenty that love his long noseship well enough, but I we give them to the hogs.” “What?” said should love him much more were he to tax Charles; "to your hogs? Then take your us a little less. But what the devil have figs back again," and, so saying, he flung a we to do with politics—round with the glass ripe one full in the face of the orator. The After a short and merry be our hearts." courtiers, following the example of their stay the emperor took his leave and thanked the cobbler for his hospitable reception. sovereign, the poor deputies had their faces all besmeared and their eyes bunged out with "That,” cried he, "you are welcome to, but I the fruit. As they were returning from the would not to-day have dishonored St. Crispin audience, one of the sapient senators, taking to have worked for the emperor." Charles, the whole to be a part of the ceremonial of pleased with the honest good nature and reception by an emperor, observed to his humor of the fellow, sent for him the next brethren how lucky it was they had carried morning to court. You must imagine his the point in favor of the figs; for, had they surprise to see and hear that his late guest presented pine-apples, they would undoubted- was his sovereign; he feared that his joke ly have had their brains knocked out.-HENRY on the long nose would be punished with SWINBURNE, “The Courts of Europe at the death. The emperor thanked him for his Close of the Last Century." hospitality and as a reward for it bid him ask for what he most desired and take the When confined to his apartment he con- whole night to settle his surprise and ambi fined his leisure hours in making curious tion. Next day he appeared and requested | works of mechanism. Charles had always that for the future the Cobblers of Flanders taken great delight in mechanics and in order might bear for their arms a boot with the that he might indulge his taste in his retreat emperor's crown upon it. That request was he engaged Turiano, one of the most in- granted and as so moderate was his ambi genious artists of the age, to accompany him tion the emperor bid him make another. thither. With him he labored in forming “If," says he, “I am to have my utmost models of the most useful machines, as well wishes, command that for the future the as in making experiments in regard to their Company of Cobblers shall take place of the respective powers and it was not seldom that Company of Shoemakers.” It was according the ideas of the monarch assisted or perfect- ly so ordained and to this day there is to be ed the inventions of the artist. He relieved seen a chapel in Flanders adorned around his mind at intervals with slighter and more 125 Charles V. OF THE GREAT Charles VII. fantastic works of mechanism, in fashioning which he had prepared for himself in his puppets, which, by the structure of internal cathedral.-Fraser's Magazine, April, 1851. springs, mimicked the gestures and actions He asked his confessor whether he might of men, to the astonishment of the ignorant not now perform his own funeral, and so do monks, who, beholding movements which for himself what would have to be done for they could not comprehend, sometimes dis- him by others. Regla replied that his maj- trusted their own senses, and sometimes sus- esty, please God, might live many years, pected Charles and Turiano of being in com- and that when his time came these services pact with invisible powers. He was par- would be gratefully rendered, without his ticularly curious in regard to the construc- tion of clocks and watches; and, having taking any thought about the matter. "But,” persisted Charles, "would it not be good for found after repeated trials, that he could not my soul ?” The monk said that certainly it bring any two of them to go alike, he is said would, pious works done during lifetime be- to have exclaimed, “Behold, not even two ing far more efficacious than when they were watches, the work of my own hands, can I postponed until after death. bring to agree with each other according to Preparations were therefore at once set on foot! a cata- law; and yet, fool that I was, I thought that falque which had served before on similar I should be able to govern like the works of occasions was erected and on the following a watch so many nations, all living under day, the 30th of August, as the monkish different skies, in different climes and speak- historian relates, this celebrated service was ing different languages.”-BENTLEY'S “Miscel- lany." November, 1848. actually performed. The high altar, the catafalque and the whole church shone with The emperor was fond of talking over a blaze of wax-lights; the friars were all in his feats at arms with the veteran who had their places, at the altars, and in choir, shared and recorded them. One day, in the and the household of the emperor attended course of such conversation, Don Luis said in deep mourning. "The pious monarch him- that he had caused a ceiling of his house to self was there, attired in sable weeds, and be painted in fresco, with a view of the battle bearing a taper, to see himself interred and of Renti and the Frenchmen flying before the to celebrate his own obsequies." While the soldiers of Castile. “Not so,” said Charles; mass for the dead was sung, he came for- "let the painter modify this, if he can, for it ward and gave his taper into the hands of was no headlong flight, but an honorable re- the officiating priest, in token of the desire treat." This was not the less candid that to yield his soul into the hands of his French historians claim the victory for their Maker.-WILLIAM STIRLING, “Cloister Life own side.—Fraser's Magazine, April, 1851. of Charles V.” After his death the scourge of cords he Cloister Life used was found stiff and dyed with blood. The grave was now in all his thoughts. He debarred himself all his former amuse- One morning, his barber, a malapert of the ments; his whole time was passed between old comedies, ventured to ask him what he religious exercises and acts of penance.-- was thinking of. "I am thinking,” replied BENTLEY'S “Miscellany,” November, 1848. Charles, "that I have here the sum of two CHARLES VII., 1403-1461. King of France. thousand crowns, which I cannot employ bet- ter than in performing my own funeral.” The brave La Hire, coming to the king one "Do not let that trouble your majesty," re- day for the purpose of discussing with him plied the fellow; “if you die and we live, some important business, found him actively we will take care to bury you with all hon- employed in arranging one of his pleasure ors.” “You do not perceive, Nicholas," said parties; the king asked him what he thought the emperor, rather pursuing his own train of his preparations. “I think, sire,” said he, of thought than replying to the barber, “that "that it is impossible for any one to lose his it makes a difference in a man's walking kingdom more pleasantly than your majes- whether he holds the light before or behind ty.”—T. F. THISTLETON-DYER, "Royalty in him.” The same opinion has been held by a All Ages." bishop of Liége, Cardinal Erard de la Mark, A legend is told that one day, when whom Charles must have known and whose Agnes [Sorel] was particularly anxious to example perhaps suggested the idea. For urge Charles to do his duty, she paid a group many years before 1528, the year of his of singers to chant some of the derisive songs death, did this prelate rehearse his obsequies, outside of the castle windows. Charles flew annually carrying his coffin to the tomb | into a temper and threatened to hang the of- Charles IX. Chase, Salmon P. 126 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES oirs.” fenders, being goaded by their taunts. When Persons of the suite came to tell us that Agnes confessed to him what she had done they could not find a square table for the he owned that she had stirred him into activ king's dinner. There were only round tables. ity.-FRANK HAMEL, "The Lady of Beauty." | Now, at a round table all the guests are of the same rank; a square table alone permits CHARLES IX., 1550-1574. King of France. of giving the king his due preeminence. We Margaret [of Valois] dwells with great solved this difficulty and important problem complacency on the splendor of her dress, by advising them to saw a round table so as the magnificence of her train, and the homage to convert it into a square one, which was she received from the spectators. She, how- done.-ODILONBARROT, “Posthumous Mem- ever, omits to record the occurrences at the altar, a deficiency which we are enabled to supply from other authentic sources. When CHARLES XII., 1682-1718. King of Sweden. asked “would she accept the bridegroom for He feared only one power in the world, the her wedded husband ?” the princess “stood power of beauty; only a handsome woman mute of malice" and the ceremony was awk could boast of making him quail-she put wardly interrupted. The king, her brother, him to flight. He said: “So many heroes grew impatient; he rushed behind her, have succumbed to the attractions of a beau- grasped her rudely by the hair and forcibly tiful face! Did not Alexander, my pet, burn bent her head forward so as to make a a town to please a ridiculous courtesan? I more awkward bow than any the court had want my life to be free from such weak- ever witnessed. This compulsory nod was ness; history must not find such a stain received as a sign of assent and the cere- upon it.” He was told one day that a young mony was speedily brought to a conclusion. girl had come to sue for justice on behalf -W. C. TAYLOR, “Biography of the Age of of a blind, octogenarian father, maltreated Elizabeth.” by soldiers. The first inclination of the CHARLES X., 1757-1836. King of France. king, a strict disciplinarian, was to rush M. de Montbel rode with him and to this straight to the plaintiff, to hear the details of the misdemeanor himself. But, suddenly faithful gentleman Charles remarked: "Mont- stopping, he asked, "Is she good-looking?" bel, do you know that you accumulate in And being assured that she was both young your own person the offices of First Gentle- and unusually lovely, he sent word that she man of the Chamber, Captain of the Guards and Chief Écuyer? I was never before must wear a veil, otherwise he would not listen to her.-COUNTESS POTOCKA, "Mem- struck with the inordinate character of your ambition.”—Dr. John DORAN, "Monarchs Re- oirs," copyright, Doubleday, Page & Co. tired from Business.” CHARLES EDWARD STUART, 1720-1788. King Charles X. said a few kind words The Young Pretender. to M. de Brézé, grand master of the cere- Even as late as the middle of the eighteenth monies [at the obsequies of Louis XVIII.), century we find an example of a woman tak- thanking him for the excellence with which ing personal part in actual warfare. Dur- he had prepared and organized the details ing the rebellion of '45, the MacIntosh of of the funeral. “Oh, sire,” he replied mod- MacIntosh, laird and chief of the clan, re- estly, “your majesty is very kind, but there mained loyal to the reigning sovereign and were many defects. Next time we will do held a commission in Lord Loudon's army. better.” “Thank you, Brézé," replied the But his wife, Anne, a daughter of Farquhar- king with a smile, “but I am not in a son of Invercauld, was one of the Pretender's hurry.” most active partizans, even going so far as One evening the king, after uttering a to raise a small body of troops to uphold his thousand insults, called M. de Verac a driv cause. “Colonel Anne,” as she was nick- eler. M. de Verac, red with anger, raised named, led this corps in person and a story his voice and replied: "No, sire; I am not is told of the Macintosh being captured by a driveler.” The king, who was also very the insurgents and brought as a prisoner to angry, raised his voice and replied: "Well, his wife's headquarters. "Your servant, cap- sir, do you know what a driveler is?” “No, tain," said the fair lady, as the captive was sire; I do not know what a driveler is.” led into her presence, “Your servant, colonel," “Well, sir, no more do I.” The dauphin was the laird's laconic reply. Charles Ed. could not refrain from a loud burst of laugh ward remarked at the time that the prisoner ter, in which the king joined, with all the “could not be in better security nor more company.-COUNTESS DE BOIGNE, "Memoirs." honorably treated," and subsequently fav- 127 Charles IX. Chase, Salmon P. OF THE GREAT ored the gallant “Colonel Anne” with a visit I had this morning early for the first to Moy.--HARRY GRAHAM, “A Group of | time a visit from one of the princesses. I Scottish Women," citing R. Chambers. was preparing for my journey, when a little rap at my door made me call out “Come in," The same writer [the author of "Genuine and who should enter but the Princess Royal. Memoirs of John Murray of Broughton”] I apologized for my familiar admittance, by says that when Charles and his brother Henry my little expectation of such an honor. She were at their devotions in this Anglican told me she had brought the queen's snuff- chapel, “a small piece of the ceiling de- box to be filled with some snuff which I had tached itself from the rest and a thistle fell been directed to prepare. It is a very fine- into the lap of the elder, on which he started scented and mild snuff, but required to be and, on looking up, a rose fell immediately moistened from time to time to revive the after; this, together with a star of great smell.... She had left me but a short magnificence the astronomers pretended ap- time before she again returned. “Miss Bur- peared at his nativity, ... might have had ney,” cried she, smiling with a look of con- some share in exciting him to his rash en- gratulations, “Mama says the snuff is ex- terprise." tremely well mixed, and she has sent another We casually learn that Charles wore curl box to be filled.” I had no more ready. She papers in the morning. Murray asked Cap begged me not to mind, and not to hurry tain Redmond, who saw the royal hair in | myself, for she would wait until it was done. curl papers, not to mention it at Dublin, --MADAME D'ARBLAY, “Diary." where these artifices might be thought effem- inate.—ANDREW LANG, “Prince Charles Ed- CHASE, Salmon Portland, 1808-1873. Amer- ward.” ican statesman and jurist. A ridiculous attempt I made to dry up a CHARLOTTE Sophia, 1744-1818. Queen to small pond of water by building a fire on an George III. of England. extemporized plank of rafts and setting it She observed that a draper announced a afloat upon it. I had somehow lost a shoe sale of calico at sixpence a yard for ready in the pool and, knowing that water can be money and, as she required a quantity for dried up by heat, I undertook to dry up the charity work, she sent to purchase his entire pool. It would probably have been no great stock and then kept him waiting until quar undertaking if the fire had been under in- ter day for the money. The poor women who stead of over it, for the quantity of water lost their bargains and the disappointed was not considerable. As it was, I was not salesman chorused together their indigna- long in finding that I was not likely to re- tion and Weymouth was sure that her maj cover my shoe in that way and abandoned esty was a miser.-ALICE D. GREENWOOD, the experiment in disgust. "Lives of the Hanoverian Queens of Eng- I remember the fall by the black cherries land.” in the big black cherry tree, which I climbed The English people did not like me for the fruit and from which, climbing too much, because I was not pretty; but the king venturously one day on a branch of it, I fell was fond of driving a phaeton in those days | dislocating my wrist; but, determined not to and once he overturned me in a turnip field show a faint heart to my older brother, who and that fall broke my nose. I think I was was with me and hastening down the tree to not quite so ugly after that.-AMELIA MUR- | my relief, I sprang up and shouted to him, RAY, “Recollections,” quoting Queen Char "I got down first.” And when he asked me, lotte. “Are you much hurt?" answered, “No, only Queen Charlotte, the grandmother of our broke my wrist.” gracious queen, was so fond of snuff that she The bishop and most of the older mem- was the principal cause of making it fash- bers of the family went away one morning- ionable. I recollect having seen her majesty | he having ordered me to kill and dress a pig on the terrace at Windsor, walking with the while they were gone, to serve for dinner that king, George III., when, to the great delight day or the next. I had no trouble in catch- of the Eaton boys, she applied her finger and ing and slaughtering a fat young porker. thumb to her gold snuff-box, out of which | And I had a tub of hot water all ready for her majesty appeared to have fished a con- plunging him in, preparatory to taking off his siderable quantity, for the royal nose was bristles. Unfortunately, however, the water covered with snuff, both within and without. | was too hot, or otherwise in wrong condition, -REES HOWELL GRONOW, "Recollections." or, perhaps, when I soused the pig into it I Chase, Salmon P. Châteaubriand 128 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES kept it in too long. At any rate, when I enters the government service seldom does undertook to take off the bristles, excepting anything more. He is swallowed up in these when they would almost come off of them departments and that is the last heard of selves, to my dismay, I could not start one him." Chase then opened a private school in of them. The bristles were set, in pig-killing Washington.--FRANK G. CARPENTER, The phrase. I picked and pulled in vain. What North American Review, August, 1888. should I do? The pig must be dressed. In His amusements were few and simple. that there must be no failure. I bethought At one time chess occupied a portion of near- myself of my cousin's razors, a nice new pair, ly every evening. Croquet he was fond of just suited to a spruce young clergyman as and played it with the same zest when his he was. I got the razors and shaved the pig hand had lost much of its strength and pre- from toe to snout. cision. The sight of cards was intolerable to I was the only one from New England him; he would not suffer their presence in and the other boys, whose ideas of a Yankee, his house. Backgammon was one of his fav- derived from their parents, were, I fear, not orites and he would often join in some chil- altogether just, were much inclined for a dren's game with as much delight as the time to twit me with being one. Every now children themselves.—DEMAREST LLOYD, The and then they called me Yankee in tones not Atlantic Monthly, November, 1873. altogether respectful. At length I could not It was an inflexible rule with Mr. Chase bear it any longer and said to Tom James, never to transact business with ladies. I when one day he called me a Yankee, “Tom, never knew him to depart from this rule. On if you call me Yankee again I'll kick you.” one occasion, a rude and persistent office- “Well,” said he, "you are a Yankee." As broker, of considerable personal attractions, good as my word I kicked him and made the literally thrust herself into his presence and kick just as severe and just as disagreeable as demanded an interview: but his refusal was I could. He was older than I and I expected so emphatic and his manner so stern that she a fight. But instead of attacking me he went retreated thoroughly frightened. On another after the bishop and complained. I was at occasion, Mrs. W., wife of an old acquain- once summoned into his presence. “Salmon," tance and herself intimate with Mr. Chase's said the bishop very gravely and severely, family, and a lady of great elegance, boasted “Tom James says you have been kicking him. that she would make him forego his rule. Is it true?” “Yes, sir.” “What did you She went to the office and sent in her card. kick him for?” “Because he called me a He sent back a very courteous message, ex• Yankee.” “Well,” said the bishop, "are you plaining his rcgulation, and invited her at not a Yankee? Your father was and I am the same time to make known her wishes and we were never ashamed of the name.” through the messenger. But Mrs. W. had no “Yes, sir,” said I, “I don't just mind being wish except to make him break his rule in called a Yankee, but I won't be called a her favor. Presently she sent her card a sec- Yankee so," with a pretty decided emphasis ond time, and received again the same mes. on the last word. The bishop could not help sage. She then resolved upon another ex- smiling and dismissed me with a reprimand, pedient. She gave the messenger at the of- which I did not mind much. I was not called fice door no opportunity to intercept her, ex- a Yankee so after that.—Letters from Sal- cept by an act of great rudeness, and delib- mon P. Chase to J. T. Trowbridge, quoted by erately opened it and, stepping inside, asked R. P. WARDEN, “Private Life and Public the secretary if she could have an interview. Services of Salmon P. Chase.” His reply was a stern and unmistakable His first visit to Washington was to "No!” She burst into tears and retreated; seek a place in the departments and he ap Mr. Chase, instantly full of regret, followed plied to his uncle, who was then in the sen Mrs. W. into the hall and, seating himself at ate, to secure him an appointment. The old her side upon one of the sofas, expressed his senator, who understood a great deal more sorrow at what had happened; repeated the about Washington departments than his rule he had prescribed for himself and ex- nephew, promptly refused and said, “My boy, plained its necessity, as he thought, and again I'll give you half a dollar to buy a spade asked her to state her wishes; but did not in- and you may dig your way into something vite her into the office. However, a shrewd of a place in life, but I will not get you a and intelligent young woman from New place in the government office. I have already Hampshire once managed to get into his li- ruined one or two young men in that way | brary before breakfast and extorted from and am not going to ruin you. The man who him a promise of a place before he was well 129 Chateaubriand OF THE GREAT , Salmon P. Chaseaware of what he had done. He explained, de V - who, shut up in a château at Vi- after this young person had departed, his varais, cultivated religiously a kind of adora- reason for his rule upon this subject. He tion for the author of the “Genius of Chris. said that no amount of statement or explana tianity.” He did not know her; at least he tion was sufficient to convince a woman that had never seen her. He did not know that to grant any particular request was either she was about fifty years old; he thought she inexpedient or impossible, and he instanced was young and had replied with passion to the case of one poor wife who, while he was her protestations of friendship. As a matter governor of Ohio, came to his house with her of fact, this passion is to be traced more par- luggage and two or three children, and an ticularly in Châteaubriand's letters before his nounced her fixed purpose to stay until she departure for Rome; but after that date he had procured the pardon of her husband, who still wrote to her in a sufficiently animated was a convict in the penitentiary.-J. W. way for Juliette (Madame Récamier] to have SCHMUCKER, “Life of Salmon P. Chase.” reason to complain if she had known about While the bar was treated with the ut. this intrigue. On the 14th of September he most consideration, on the other hand no lax- wrote to Madame Récamier that letter in ity of demeanor was permitted. It is re- which he calls her his "beautiful angel,” be- lated, though I do not know with what accu- seeches her not to cry any more, and entreats racy, that the Chief Justice once rebuked a her to come to Rome. On the evening before, lawyer openly for certain gaudiness of attire Saturday, the 13th, he had sent to the Mar- and requested him, when again appearing, to quise de V- , “the expression of a tender present himself in more sober garments. and sincere sentiment.” From Milan on the same day he wrote to Juliette and to Marie Not only were Latin terms banished so (the name of the unknown woman) and this far as possible, but he abjured even the un- without too much consideration for Madame offending and popular particle "said.” Châteaubriand, who was traveling with him. He seldom told a story without spoiling “Rome has left me cold," he says to the one; it. As an instance of this he once related “Rome has not affected me," he writes to himself in rehearsing old scenes with a friend the other. It is true that the letter to Ma- who had been his ally in many political cam dame Récamier is much longer and more de- paigns. In making a stumping tour together, tailed. The same thing occurs on October they had used a peculiarly apt and good story 21st, November 15th and November 20th. The in common and, to divide it fairly, told it on very day on which he declared to Madame alternate days. He added, with a grim smile, Récamier that she need not give him any “B— always makes the people laugh, but warnings-"Do not fear anything; I am case- I never could.”-DEMAREST LLOYD, The At hardened”—he wrote to Marie: "What is it lantic Monthly, November, 1873. that you feel for an unknown man, a stranger When the late Chief Justice Chase chose you have never seen? Passion? I accept it.” to unbend himself he could be witty as well On the 11th of December, after having sent as wise. At a social gathering at his house to Madame Récamier the description of his during the war, the subject of taxation hav- ricevimento, he declares that she is wrong in ing been mooted, a distinguished naval officer complaining and that he has “never written present said he had paid all his taxes except such long letters to any one as to her.” When his income tax. “I have a little property," he is about to leave Rome he is curious to he said, “which brings me in a yearly rental, meet his unknown friend in Paris. He meets but the tax gatherers have not spotted it. I her there. He asks for an appointment on the do not know whether I ought to let the thing 28th of May, the very evening of his arrival. go that way or not. What would you do if He sees her again on Saturday, May 30th, you were in my place, Mr. Chase ?” There and on the following Saturday, June 6th. On was a merry twinkle in the eyes of Secretary the 9th of June he sends her a note assuring Chase as he answered archly, "I think it is her that he "loves her tenderly," which he the duty of every man to live unspotted as has already told her often in his interviews long as he can.”—The Green Bag, April, 1889, with her, mysterious interviews during which quoting “Splinters.” the Marquise de V- acquires the right of CHATEAUBRIAND, François René, Vicomte calling Châteaubriand her "darling friend.”— de, 1768-1848. French statesman and EDWARD HERRIOT, "Madame Récamier.” writer. It was always Madame de Châteaubriand During his stay in Rome Châteaubriand who introduced or aroused the piquant ele- was corresponding with a certain Marquise | ment in conversation. She said to me one Chesterfield, Lord Chatham, Lord 130 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES day, “M. de Châteaubriand is so stupid that | silence ensued until a door was opened to let if I were not there he would never speak evil him into the lobby. A member then started of any one.”--COUNT DE FALLOUX, “Memoirs.” up, saying, “I rise to reply to the honorable member.” Lord Chatham turned back and CHATHAM, William Pitt, Earl of, 1708- fixed his eye on the orator, who instantly sat 1778. English statesman. down dumb; then his lordship returned to He had said the last year to the Duke of his seat, repeating, as he hobbled along, the Devonshire: "My lord, I am sure I can save verses of Virgil: “Ast Danaum proceres” this country and no one else can.”—HORACE [continuing for five lines). Then, placing WALPOLE, “Memoirs of the Reign of George himself in his seat, he exclaimed, “Now, let II." me hear what the honorable member has to The next remarkable speech which is re- say to me.” On the writer's asking the gen- ported is that celebrated reply of Mr. Pitt to tleman from whom he heard this anecdote if Horace Walpole, the elder-beginning "The the house did not laugh at the ridiculous fig. atrocious crime of being a young man.” We ure of the poor member, "No, sir," he re- know that this speech was modeled into its plied, "we were all too much awed to laugh." -The Gentleman's Magazine, September, present shape by Dr. Johnson, and it is cer- tainly a striking specimen of sententious sar- 1822, quoting Butler's “Reminiscences.” casm, but the balanced structure of the phras Sometimes, to produce an effect, he would es and the measured amplification of ideas seclude himself from public business, giving are so entirely Johnsonian-80 ultra John rare audience to a colleague, or some digni- sonian indeed—that we are satisfied that it fied emissary of the court. Then, after due offers little resemblance to the vivid and en- attendance, the doors were thrown open and ergetic invective of the original. Archdea the visitor was ushered into a chamber, care- con Coxe asserts indeed (and Parliamentary fully prepared, where the Great Commoner history adopts this statement) that this himself sat with the robe of sickness artfully “celebrated retort existed only in Johnson's disposed around him. Occasionally, after a imagination,” and repeats an anecdote, told long absence, he would go down to the House him by Lord Sydney, to show “how slender in an imposing panoply of gout, make a great was the foundation on which this supposed speech, and withdraw. At a later period, he philippic was founded.” In a debate in which affected almost regal state. His colleagues in Mr. Pitt and some of his young friends had office, including members of the great nobil- violently attacked old llorace Walpole, the ity, were expected to wait upon him; at one latter complained of the self-sufficiency of time he did not even deign to give them audi- the young men of the day, upon which Mr. ences and went so far as to talk of communi- Pitt got up in great warmth, beginning with cating his policy to the House of Commons these words: “With the greatest reverence through a special agent of his own uncon- for the gray hairs of the honorable gentle nected with the responsible government. The man"-upon which Walpole pulled off his wig under-secretaries of his department, men of and showed his gray hair, which occasioned a considerable official position, were expected general laughter, in which Pitt joined and the to remain standing in his presence. When dispute subsided.” (“Life of Lord Walpole," he went abroad he was attended by a great ii. 184.) Now, Lord Sydney's anecdote is retinue; when he stopped at an inn he re- perfectly true, for we find it told at the time quired all the servants of the establishment it happened in one of the younger Horace's to wear his livery.-WILLIAM MASSEY, “IIis- letters to Sir Horace Mann, but this does not tory of England Under George III.,” quoting decide the question: for, however strange and Lord John Russell's “Memoirs and Corre- improbable it may appear that there should spondence of Fox" as follows: “The story of have been two incidents of this nature be Lord Chatham's dressing up the waiters at tween the same parties, the fact seems cer the Castle Inn at Marlborough, in his livery, tain. The affair of the wig occurred on the is confirmed by Lord J. Russell, who states 21st of November, 1745, whereas the cele that Lord Shelburne told the story to his son, brated retort was delivered on the 10th of the present Marquis of Lansdowne.” March, 1741, and is printed in the Gentle- He became very extravagant; he did not man's Magazine for that year.-Quarterly shrink from great outlay in purchasing Review, June, 1840. houses and land to free himself from intrusive Immediately after he had finished a neighbors; he could not even bear to have speech in the House of Commons, he walked his own children under the same roof with out of it and, as usual, with a slow step. A him. Ridiculous sums were spent on the 131 Chatham, Lord Chesterfield, Lord OF THE GREAT adornment of the grounds of Burton Pyn- Once in the House of Lords, the debate sent; an extensive hillside was planted with turning on the subject of the late rebellion, cedars and cypresses which had to be carted Lord Chesterfield observed to the peer next from London. Chatham drove in a coach and to him: “I could effectually annihilate the six, with ten outriders, in the manner of | power of the Pretender; the best way would the richest nobles of the day, though it was be to make him Elector of Hanover, for we a style quite beyond his means. His sickly | shall never again send to that country for a and uncertain appetite added greatly to the king.”-J. H. JESSE, "England Under the expense of housekeeping. It was uncertain House of Hanover.” when he would desire to eat; a succession of Soon after Lord Chesterfield came into chickens had to be kept boiling and roasting the privy council, a place of great trust hap- at every hour, so that one might be ready pened to become vacant to which his majesty whenever he should call.-ALBERT VON RU- [George II.] and the Duke of Dorset recom- VILLE, “William Pitt, First Earl of Chatham.” mended two different persons. The king es- No man could be more abstemious than poused the interest of his friend with some Pitt, yet the profusion of his kitchen was a heat and told them that he would be obeyed, wonder, even to epicures. Several dinners but, not being able to carry his point, left the were always dressing, but, as we have already | council chamber in great displeasure. As explained, his appetite was fanciful, and at / soon as he had retired the matter was warm- whatever moment he felt inclined to eat, hely debated and at length carried against the expected a meal to be instantly on the table. | king, because, if they gave him his way, he Pitt was scrupulously exact in his dress. would expect it again and it would at length It is said that he was never seen on business become a precedent. However, in the humor without a full dress coat and a tie wig. He the king then was, a question arose as to was also a rigid observer and exactor of re who should carry the grant of the office for spect for himself and others when in authority the royal signature and the lot fell upon and never permitted his under-secretaries to Chesterfield. His lordship expected to find sit down before him, Charles Price used to his sovereign in a very unfavorable mood and say that, at the levee, Lord Chatham was ac he was not disappointed; he therefore pru- customed to bow so low that persons behind dently forbore incensing him by an abrupt him could see the tip of his hooked nose be request and instead of bluntly asking him to tween his legs.—JOHN TIMBS, “Anecdote Bi sign the instrument, very submissively re- ography.” quested to know whose name his majesty would have inserted to fill up the blanks. A fellow stole Lord Chatham's large The king answered in a passion, “The devil's, gouty shoes: his servant, not finding them, if you will.” “Very well,” replied the earl, began to curse the thief. “Never mind,” said “but would your majesty have the instru- his lordship, “all the harm I wish the rogue ment run in the usual style, four trusty and is that the shoes may fit him.”—JOIN MOTT- well-beloved cousin and counselor'?” The LEY, “Joe Miller's Jest Book.” monarch laughed and signed the paper.- The story of his [Newcastle] conference JOHN MOTTLEY, “Joe Miller's Jest Book.” with Pitt when Pitt was in bed with the gout, and of his getting into a vacant bed and dis- One anecdote is related of Lord Chester- cussing from thence to his colleague, is one field by his friend and correspondent, Dr. of the choicest pictures of absurdity that sur- Chevenix, Bishop of Waterford, which admir- vive. The two leading ministers were found ably illustrates his wit and presence of mind storming at each other from adjacent couches, during the heat of the rebellion: The vice- disputing as to whether Hawke's fleet should treasurer, Mr. Gardner, a man of good char- put to sea or not. Pitt fortunately prevailed. acter and considerable fortune, waited upon -LORD ROSEBERY, "Life of Lord Chatham.” him one morning and in a great fright told him that he was assured upon good authority CHESTERFIELD, Philip Dormer Stanhope, | that the people in the province of Connaught Earl of, 1694-1773. English statesman. were actually rising. Upon which Lord Ches. According to gossip Elizabeth Chudleigh terfield took out his watch and with great [Countess of Bristol] is made to say to Ches composure answered him, “It is nine o'clock terfield, “Do you know, my lord, the world and certainly time for them to rise; I there- says I have had twins ?” “Does it ?” said his fore believe your news to be true.” The same lordship; "for my own part I make it a point story is related, though with some trifling of believing only half of what it says.”- difference, by Horace Walpole.--John H. CHARLES E. PEARCE, “An Amazing Duchess." | JESSE, “England Under the House of Hanover." Chesterfield, Lord Choate, Rufus 132 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The late Lord R., with many good quali About half an hour before he dies, Mr. ties and even learning and parts, had a strong Dayrolles (whom the Earl, in times past, has desire to be thought skilful in physic and very earnestly recommended to curry royal was very expert at bleeding. Lord Chester favor by means of Lady Yarmouth) comes to field, who knew this foible, and on a particu see him. My lord has just strength to say, lar occasion wished to have his vote, came to “Give Dayrolles a chair.” He never speaks him one morning and, after having conversed again. What imagination could have invent- upon indifferent matters, complained of a ed half such a characteristic end ?-S. G. TAL- headache and desired his lordship to feel his LENTYRE, Longmans's Magazine, July, 1899. pulse. It was found to beat high and a hint CHITTY, Joseph, 1776-1841. English jurist. of losing blood was given. "I have no objec- tion and, as I hear your lordship has a mas- The Law Times (London) says that Mr. terly hand, will you favor me by trying your Justice Chitty heard a case concerning some lancet upon me?” “Apropos,” said Lord Ches- agricultural implements and household fur- terfield after the operation, "do you go to the niture. One of the lawyers was very prosy, House to-day?” Lord R. answered, "I did not and, after talking about the agricultural im- intend to go, not being informed sufficiently plements until the court was nearly asleep, of the question that is to be debated; but you, said, “And now, my lord, I will address my- who have considered it, which side will you self to the furniture.” “You have been do- be of?” The earl, having gained his confi- ing that for an hour already," replied the dence, easily directed his judgment; he car learned judge.—American Law Review, May- ried him to the House and got him to vote as June, 1887. he pleased. He used afterwards to say that CHOATE, Joseph Hodges, 1832-1917. Amer. none of his friends had done as much as he, ican statesman and lawyer. having literally bled for his country.-H. BARTON BAKER, The Gentleman's Magazine, His gallantry is proverbial, like the spot. lessness of the Bayards. It has had some May, 1877, quoting Dr. Maty. charming exhibitions. He and Mrs. Choate A curious anecdote of Heidegger is men- were recently dining with some New York tioned in Schoelcher's “Life of Handel”- friends. Some one asked him who he would James Heidegger, commonly called the "Swiss prefer to be if he could not be himself. He Count.” He was said to be the ugliest man hesitated for a moment, apparently running of his time and his portrait in this character over in his mind the great ones on earth, was engraved at least ten or twelve times. when his eye fell upon Mrs. Choate. "If I Lord Chesterfield laid a wager that it was could not be myself," he suddenly replied, “I impossible to discover a human being so dis should like to be Mrs. Choate's second hus- graced by nature. After having searched band.”—JOIN E. MILHOLLAND, “Joseph Hodg- through the town a hideous old woman was es Choate, Lawyer, Statesman, Humorist, found, but it was agreed that Heidegger was Orator.” handsomer, but, as Heidegger was pluming Talking to a group of Radcliffe alumnæ himself on his victory, Chesterfield required he gave his own idea of what he considered that he should put on the old woman's bon- his best speech. “I made it to an audience net; thus attired, the "Swiss Count” appeared consisting of one young lady some forty years horribly ugly and Chesterfield was unani- ago," he said with a bow and a glance mously declared the winner amid thunders of towards Mrs. Choate, who sat across the table applause, from him at the Radcliffe girls' luncheon. He inserted a clause in his will that if | “That was the shortest and, I am quite sure, his godson, Philip Stanhope, should reside one altogether the most difficult and at the same night at Newmarket, “that infamous semi- time the most successful speech of my life.”- nary of iniquity and ill-manners,” during the New York Sun, May 15, 1917. course of the races there, etc., that he should His response to a toast to the fair sex forfeit the sum of five thousand pounds for | is well known, but it will bear repetition. the use of the Dean and Chapter of West- “And then women, the better half of the minster.-MARY GRANVILLE (Mrs. Delany), Yankee world, at whose tender summons even "Life and Correspondence." the stern pilgrims were ever ready to spring Once, speaking of old Lord Tyrawley, he to arms, and without whose aid they never said, “We have both been long dead, but we could have achieved their historic title of the do not choose to have it mentioned.”—J. H. Pilgrim Fathers. The Pilgrim Mothers were JESSE, "England Under the House of Han- | more devoted martyrs than were the Pilgrim over." | Fathers, because they had not only to bear 133 Rufus OF THE GREAT Choate, ChesterfieldLord , the same hardships that the Pilgrim Fathers | CHOATE, Rufus, 1799-1858, American jur- suffered, but they had to bear with the Pil. ist and statesman. grim fathers besides."-MILHOLLAND. That touch of human sympathy for inani- He was often alluded to as “our first citi- / mate objects, of which Dr. Adams speaks in zen." But this aroused his wit at a com- his funeral address. When as a boy he drove mencement luncheon at Columbia University his father's cow "he has said that more than in June, 1916. When referred to as such it once, when he had thrown away his switch, called forth this humorous response: "Your he has returned to find it, and carried it back, president, accidentally I think, dropped, at and thrown it under the tree from which he the end of his address to me, two words that took it, for, he said, "Perhaps there is after I did not at first understand. He said some all some yearning of nature between them thing about a first citizen. He must have still.'”-SAMUEL G. BROWN, "The Life of Ru- spoken in a Shakespearian sense, for you fus Choate.” know this is a Shakespearian year, and Presi One stormy night, during his residence dent Butler is a wonderful Shakespearian in Danvers, he was called upon at a late hour scholar, and he was thinking of Shakespeare to draw the will of a dying man who lived at that moment. You remember that in many several miles distant. He went, performed of the plays of Shakespeare citizens are in- the service and returned home. But after troduced as a decoration, or fringe, to embel- going to bed, as he lay revolving in his mind lish the stage, and they were numbered First each provision of the paper he had so rapidly Citizen, Second Citizen, Third Citizen, and in prepared, there flashed across his memory an every case none of them has much to say omission that might cause the testator's in- and doesn't say that very well, but they were tention to be misunderstood. He sprang all equally good, one as good as another, and from his bed and began dressing himself they might just as well have exchanged num- rapidly, to the great surprise of his wife, bers and nobody would have known the dif. only answering her inquiries by saying that ference.” When he concluded the chairman he had done what must be undone, and in the said, “Mr. Choate, we thank you from the thick of a storm rode again to his dying bottom of our hearts; we will take you to our client, explained the reason of his return and bosom and will hold you there during the drew a codicil to the will which made every- rest of our lives.” To which Mr. Choate, look: thing sure. Mr. Choate then added, “A ing at the graduates of Barnard College, clever man will blunder sometimes, but a wittily remarked, “I hope the graduates of blockhead blunders ex vi termini.”—GEORGE Barnard College will join you in that.” W. MINNS, American Law Review, October, During his sojourn in England Mr. 1876. Choate's well-proportioned figure underwent He used manuscript a great deal, even quite a transformation. He, who had been when speaking to juries. When a trial was rather slight, returned with a corpulence on, lasting days or weeks, he kept pen, ink quite astonishing. Some one, observing this, and paper at hand in his bedroom, and would remarked, "Why, Mr. Choate, you have been often get up in the middle of the night to getting stout since you went abroad.” “Oh, write down thoughts that came to him as he yes,” replied he, “it was necessary to meet lay in bed. He was always careful to keep the Englishmen half way.” warm. It is said that he prepared for a great The cockneyism of London must have af- jury argument by taking off eight great-coats forded him opportunity for making a great and drinking eight cups of green tea.- deal of fun. The dropping of the h's called GEORGE F. HOAR, Scribner's Magazine, July, forth a delicious mot. Observing on a street 1901. a box marked "Drop Letter Box," he said, Always after speaking he was obliged to “Well, that box must be full of h's.”-THE- wrap himself up in two or three overcoats RON C. STRONG, “Joseph H. Choate," copyright, to prevent taking cold, and almost always 1917, Dodd, Mead & Co., Inc. after a strong effort suffered from an attack A pompous young man called on Mr. of sick headache. Choate at his office. He was asked to take a He was, indeed, almost indifferent to mon- chair. The lawyer was busy, but the youth ey, careless of keeping it, and losing, with- was impatient, and in a moment interrupted | out question, thousands of dollars every year the lawyer again with the remark, "I am from neglecting to make any charge at all Bishop Blank's son." "Please take two for his services. “I remember," says a gen- chairs," said Mr. Choate.—MILHOLLAND. | tleman who studied with him, "that one Choate, Bufus 134 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES morning he came rushing into the office for despairing of other information, opened it five hundred dollars, remarking in his sport and there on the top of the page, in staring ive way, “My kingdom for five hundred dol characters of vast size to make them legible, lars; have I got it?' He went to his bank was the entry, "Office debtor, one gallon of book and said, Not a dollar; not a dollar,' oil,” standing as lonely on the page as its and was going out, either to borrow or col author in his life. He never asked for his bill lect, when I stopped him. The old book had again, but paid what he thought was fair and been filled and the teller had given him a new asked for a receipt in full which Mr. Choate one without entering in it the amount to his promised to have ready for him the next time credit, the month not being ended when the he called.—EDWARD G. PARKER, “Reminiscen- accounts were usually balanced. I showed | ces of Rufus Choate.” him the old book and there was a balance to He had no taste for music and I am told his credit of $1,200. He looked surprised and that his daughter once persuaded him to go said, 'Thank God.' But if the $1,200 had to the opera; he looked at the libretto help. . disappeared, he never would have been the lessly and said, "Helen, expound to me this wiser."-SAMUEL G. BROWN, “The Life of Ru- record, lest I dilate with the wrong emotion." .fus Choate.” -MONCURE D. CONWAY, “Autobiography and I never remember seeing him collect any Memories." money or make any charge in any books. In- With his vast command of language, he deed, I never saw any account books in his delighted to use some expressive slang phrase office. He himself never seemed to have any in familiar conversation. money. If he wanted any he would get me to I remember one that tickled him hugely. A man in the office draw a check for him, even for five dollars, told him a story of some fight that he was a and he would sign it. If he drew the check witness of and, after describing it graphically, himself, he made sad work of it. It used to said, “And then the stones flew my way and be said around the Entry, that when he had I dug.” He never could resist the use of this to go to Washington to argue cases, or to last expression and never used it without Congress, he often was obliged to ransack the laughing heartily. And this reminds me Entry to find some one with money enough that I rarely-I may say never-heard him to lend him to go on with. Unlike some laugh out loud. He would throw his head others of the fraternity of great men, how- back, open his mouth wide and draw in his ever, he very often paid what he had bor- rowed. His accounts of who owed him, or breath with a deep respiratory sound, while his whole face glowed with fun.-SAMUEL G. how much, he must have chiefly carried in his BROWN, “The Life of Rufus Choate," quoting head. His office partner could not have known Joseph M. Bell. them, and there was not seen any book of original entries. One of his old students of He told Judge Warren that he was go- former years, however, used to come in to us | ing to write a book. “Ah,” said the judge, and tell the story of a traditional set of "what is it to be?” “Well,” replied Mr. books which Choate commenced with the in Choate, "I've got as far as the title page and tention of keeping them by double entry. So, the motto.” “What are they?” “The subject on the first day he opened them he had occa is 'The Lawyer's Vacation, the motto—I've sion to send out for a gallon of oil-it was | forgotten. But I shall show that the lawyer's before gas days; accordingly he entered in vacation is the space between a question put the bulky volume, "Office debtor, one gal- to a witness and the answer.”—SAMUEL G. lon of oil,” so much. A few days after an BROWN, “The Life of Rufus Choate.” old client came in and asked for his bill. One day a poor fellow from Charlestown, Choate told him he was really very busy and who had a snug trifle accumulated by daily if he'd call again in a week he would have it labor, came in with his tax bill to "consult ready for him. In a week he called and de- Rufus Choate” as to whether it was rightly manded his bill. "Oh, yes,” said Choate, lovje levied or not. Choate turned him over to me, "I really-you must pardon me--but I've at the same time vaguely indicating the prin: not had time to draw it off; but you may pay ciple and authority which must be looked up. whatever you think right.” This did not suit Occupied in trying a large case, he did not the client, who said he'd call once more; and come back to the office for three or four days. so he did a fortnight after. This time Choate Meantime, I had brooded laboriously over this was in despair. “Well, there,” said he, "just almost the first professional matter ever en- take the books and draw off a minute of it trusted to my hands. The "opinion of Rufus yourself.” The worthy man took the book, Choate” was elaborately prepared by me and, 135 Choate, Bufus OF THE GREAT when at last he did come to the office, I pre- but I have an engagement in the opposite sented it to him for his scrutiny and signa- | direction.”-E. D. SANBORN, Albany Laro ture. He looked it over and scrawled his Journal, April 21, 1877. : autograph at the bottom. "What shall I tell We had a story at Divinity Hall that in him is your charge, Mr. Choate?” was my the course of a speech against the introduc- next inquiry. “Well," said he, “I think we tion of the slavery question in the pulpit Ru- ought to have twenty-five dollars for that, fus Choate exclaimed, “I go to my pew as I don't you ?" Of course I acquiesced, though go to my bed--for repose.”—MONCURE D. it seemed to be a fabulous sum for so trifling CONWAY, “Autobiography and Memories." a matter, for the whole tax bill was only ten dollars. When the client came I presented It is affirmed that he could not decipher him the "opinion," and told him the charge. his own handwriting after a case was con- “Twenty-five dollars," he exclaimed, "why, I cluded and that he had to call in experts to think that is too much; I haven't got but explain it to himself. He congratulated him- fifteen dollars ready money in the world.” self on the fact that if he failed to get a liv- Of course he was let off on the payment of ing at the bar he could still go to China and fifteen dollars, but not without much mis. support himself with his pen, that is, by giving on my part, lest the master of the of. decorating tea chests. fice should be displeased. When Mr. Choate Mr. George Ticknor, the historian of came in I hastened to tell him that I had Spanish literature, was once called as a wit- given the Charlestown man the opinion, and ness in a case in which Mr. Choate was en- waited then anxiously for what, in my ignor- gaged. After his examination he sat by the ance of him, I supposed would be the inevit- side of the eminent counselor within the bar. able question, "Did you give him the bill?” He was attracted by the notes which Mr. But no such question came, or would have Choate had made of the evidence and re- come to the day of judgment. So in a mo- marked that the handwriting reminded him ment, during which the whole subject seemed of two autograph letters in his possession, to pass from his mind, I ventured timidly to one of Manuel the Great of Portugal (dated suggest that I could not collect the bill. 1512), and another of Consalvo de Cordova, “Ah," was the only reply. "No," said I, "the the great captain, written a few years earlier. man said he hadn't but fifteen dollars in the No one who has looked over such collections world and he paid that.” “Oh,” said Choate, as those of Mr. Ticknor or Mr. Prescott can with a rich smile mantling over the lower refrain from feeling a sensation of wonder part of his face, "you took all he had, did that any sense can be elicited from such seem- you? Well, I've nothing to say to that-- ingly unintelligible scrawls. “Those letters," that's strictly professional.” It need hardly said Mr. Ticknor to Mr. Choate, “were writ- be added that he never saw or asked for a ten three hundred and fifty years ago, and dollar of the money. It was divided between they strongly resemble your notes of the pres. the students in the office.-EDWARD G. PAR- ent trial.” Choate, with that droll, quizzical KER, “Reminiscences of Rufus Choate.” expression which lent such humor to his face, His enthusiasm was so great that I found replied: "Remarkable men, no doubt; they it a pleasure to reveal to him all I knew of seem to have been much in advance of their the subject under examination. During the times.”—EDWIN P. WHIPPLE, "Some Recol- course of the evening a hand organ was play- lections of Rufus Choate.” ing in the street under his window. He Mr. Choate, being in court in an impor- sprang to the bell, spoke to his servant, and tant case, took exception to a statement by said, “John, go and hire that man to go out the opposing counsel of several words em- of the street,” at the same time giving him ployed by a witness on the previous day. fifty cents.--JUDGE NEILSON in the Albany "How do you know," said the judge to the Law Journal, March 17, 1877. opposing counsel, “that the witness stated Mr. Choate was once walking on com what you just said he did ?” “Your honor," mencement day in Hanover when a lady at was the reply, "I remember, sir, distinctly tempted to pass him in the crowd, wearing what he said.” “Why do you differ with one of those elegant shawls, whose knotted him?” asked the judge of Mr. Choate. "I fringe always catches the button of the pew have the witness's statement in writing," re- door of country churches, when he suddenly plied Mr. Choate. “Please let me see your found himself caught by the button of his notes pertaining to this part of the case," said coat. He turned and said, “Madam, I beg the judge. His honor carefully examined the pardon; I should be delighted to go with you, papers which were handed to him but was Choate, Rufus Christina, Queen 136 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES unable to read them. He called the lawyer , he, until Choate told him.-GEORGE W. aside and said, “Mr. Choate, please read to VINNS, American Law Review, October, 1876. the court what you have there recorded.” After the junior counsel had thoroughly Choate read aloud to the court as instructed. prepared the case he took the client, who The judge then continued, "Mr. Choate, do wished to state his case to Mr. Choate per- you now solemnly declare that what you have sonally, to see the senior counsel. The client read to the court are the exact words as re- began, “Of course, Mr. Choate, you under- corded on the paper now in your hand ?” stand the principle of the Jacquard loom.” "They are the exact words, your honor." "Certainly,” said Mr. Choate, who had never “Then,” said the judge, "we shall be obliged heard of the loom before, “of course, of course. to depend on your word and the court now But assume for the moment that I do not accepts your statements as to what the wit- understand the principle of the Jacquard ness in dispute said.”—The Green Bag, Au- loom and expound it to me as a preliminary." gust, 1914. -HENRY C. LODGE, “Early Memories.' Mr. Choate was a classical scholar of a kind very rare in these, or indeed any, days Rufus Choate, once while addressing a and he always insisted on the earnest study jury, several times repeated a certain part of the Latin and Greek authors as the very of his plea-repeating the same words and best mental and rhetorical training for the accent. Certain that the great advocate had profession of the law.-WILLIAM EVERETT, some reason for so strange a proceeding-a New England Magazine, November, 1896. reason not obvious to others—the late E. P. Whipple took an opportunity to ask for an ex- A leading member of the bar and Mr. planation. Mr. Choate's answer in substance Choate took the deposition of a witness pro- was: “There was a numbskull on the jury duced by the latter. After the business was who was paying no attention to what I was finished counsel came into the office. “Well, saying; I would have kept up the repetition Brother Choate,” said he; "I don't think you until he listened if it had taken the entire have made anything out of that witness; day.”—The Green Bag, February, 1898. there are too many hiati in his testimony." "Impossible," said Choate. “But there were; I went into court to see Mr. Choate and you must have noticed them yourself.” “I found him addressing a jury. Chief Justice couldn't,” replied Choate. “You couldn't ? Shaw had occasion to suspend the proceed- Why not?” “Because hiatus is of the fourth ings for a few minutes and, while Mr. Choate declension.” And then Choate gave his pe was standing before the jury, I went to him culiar silent laugh, drawing in his breath and said, “We want an interview in B's case; deeply, while his whole face glowed with fun. | how long will you be in closing your argu- -GEORGE W. MINNS, American Law Review, ment?” He said, "I don't know; that red- October, 1876. headed juror in the back seat doesn't seem to The Lawyer understand the case yet and I must feel of him and put some points in a new light." I A blacksmith having failed in business, a went back to my seat and Choate remained friend, to enable him to start once more, looking at the jury, now directly, now fur- loaned him some iron, which a creditor at- tively, but without apparent concern, until tached at the forge. The friendly owner sued the chief justice came on the bench. Mr. in trover for his iron. Choate appeared for Choate turned suddenly and said, "If your him and pictured the cruelty of the sheriff's honor please, I shall detain you no longer. proceeding as follows: "He arrested the arm of industry as it fell towards the anvil; he Gentlemen of the jury, that is our case.” He had a verdict. As we walked to his office I put out the breath of his bellows; he extin- guished the fire of his hearth-stone. Like told him how amazed I had been and asked pirates in a gale at sea, his enemies swept why he changed his plan. He said, “When everything by the board, leaving him, gentle- you gave me that imploring whisper for B., I was conferring with my red-headed juror men of the jury, not so much as a horse shoe and, after exchanging a few additional looks, to nail upon his door post to keep the witches I saw I had him.”-Albany Law Journal, off.” The tears came into the blacksmith's November, 1877. eyes at this affecting description. One of his friends, noticing them, said to him, "Why, Gates, a lawyer from Lynn, was contem- Tom, what's the matter with you? What are porary of Choate and Saltonstall. He was in you blubbering about?" "I had no idea," was the habit of writing for publication in the the reply in a whimpering tone, “I had no | newspapers. He wrote and published a idea I had been so much abused.” Nor had lengthy article for which he was indicted, 137 Choate, Bufus OF THE GREAT Christina, Queen He was a poor man and intended to try his all has been done for a client that I could do own case. Choate, hearing of his trouble, --and I never spared myself in advocating said to Saltonstall, "Gates is in trouble; his legal rights-the only thing left for me don't you think we ought to help him out?” is to dismiss the case from my mind and say To this Saltonstall agreed and was sent to with my Baptist brother, “Bring on the next.” Gates by Choate to talk it over and see what --EDWIN P. WHIPPLE, "Some Recollections of could be done. Gates was very grateful and Rufus Choate.” desired that Choate should try the case for CHOISEUL, Etienne François, Duke of, him. The case was called and the article was 1719-1785. French statesman. read to the jury with such explanations made that showed Gates to be the author of it. Choiseul once visited London when the This closed the government case. Mr. Choate vagaries of the climate of that smoky city then arose for the defense and, taking the had the happy result of evoking a character- paper from his pocket, proceeded to read istic repartee. During a fog of particular the same article slowly and with such into- density and duration, some one inquired why nation that when he had finished reading it cannons were being fired off. “Apparently the complainant arose and said, “If that is some one has perceived the sun,” replied the the meaning of the article just read we have duke with great promptitude.--LADY YOUNG- no reason to find the slightest fault with it," | HUSBAND, "Marie Antoinette, Her Early and the case was abandoned.—The Green Youth.” Bay, November, 1902. Once, incensed by a foul lampoon direct- The lawyer closed his argument with ed against his private life, he offered a re- the remark that he was more confirmed in | ward to discover the author. The latter, his view of the law in the case, because the tempted by the bait, had the hardihood to distinguished counsel opposed to him had claim it in person. Choiseul was for a mo- taken the same ground in an argument a few ment speechless with amazement, then, offer- days before at Lowell. Instead of denying | ing the fellow his hand, he said lightly, “Yes; the false assertion, which most lawyers would | it is true that I promised a reward. If my have done, Choate quietly replied, “Yes, and friendship is of any use to you, accept it and was overruled by the court.”—EDWIN P. | grant me yours in return."—W. H. R. TROW- WHIPPLE, "Some Recollections of Rufus BRIDGE, "Daughters of Eve.” Choate." CHOUAN. In answering a lawyer who had ad- The very name of “Chouan” is a mystery dressed the court in a loud tone, Mr. Choate and the etymologists have hitherto hit on playfully referred to his "stentorian powers." nothing better than chat-huant (owl), which To his surprise, his opponent rose and hotly the insurgents were supposed to resemble, replied that nothing in his mode of address from their practise of moving principally by would justify such a stricture. As he went night.—The Quarterly Review, June, 1842. on thus his voice again rose to a high key and rang through the court house; Choate CHRISTINA, 1626-1689. Queen of Sweden. half rose and said in the blandest tones, "One Her hair was rough, her hands dirty, her word, may it please the court, only one word, clothes tumbled, she cursed and swore like if my brother will allow. I see my mistake. a musketeer, but she rode divinely on horse- I beg to retract what I have said." The ef- back, could kill a hare with a rifle, slept on fect was irresistible; the court was con- a hard bed and profoundly despised women- vulsed with laughter.-JOSEPI NEILSON, their ideas, their occupations, their conver- "Memories of Rufus Choate.” sations. When she tore by at a gallop, bold I sometimes feel when a case has gone and free, with a man's hat and jacket on, her against me like the Baptist minister who was hair streaming in the wind and her face sun- baptizing in winter a crowd of converts burnt, Sweden felt uncertain whether she did through a large hole made in the ice. One not indeed possess a prince, she was not sure brother-Jones, I think--disappeared after that the figure before her was that of a immersion and did not reappear; probably princess. . . . She owned eleven Corregios drifting ten or fifteen feet from the hole and and two Raphaels but she cut up some of her was vainly gasping under the ice as many finest canvases to fit heads, hands and feet inches thick. After pausing a few minutes into the panels of her apartments. ... In the minister said, “Brother Jones has evi- | 1653 there was wandering about Germany an dently gone to kingdom come; bring on the unfortunate black man who was looking for next.” Now I am not unfeeling, but after | something, but could not explain what, for Christina, Queen 138 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES nobody understood his language. A learned | other reasons; she had not a penny left and man from Erfurt, Job Ludolf, author of some her queenly profession bored her. She was works on Ethiopia and the Ethiopian lan- | tired of both Sweden and the Swedes. ... guage, happened to be in Stockholm. He as She had sent away her collections, her gold sured Queen Christina that the black man and silver plate, her furniture and the crown was an Ethiopian and was, no doubt, in jewels. It is said that her successor found search of him, to compliment him on his nothing in the palace but two carpets and works about his country. He added that an old bedstead. When well out of Stock- the traveler's name was Akalaktus. It was holm, the Queen of Sweden dismissed her a grand opportunity for Christina to extend suite, cut off her hair, assumed men's her glory to Ethiopia. She wrote a beau clothes, put on boots, took a gun in her hand tiful Latin letter to her "very dear cousin and said that she was going into Flanders and friend," the king of Ethiopia, consan to join Condé's army, faire le coup de pisto- guineo nostro clarissimo, eadem gratia let. For some time there was no certain Ethiopium regi, etc. She wished him all news of her. Sometimes she passed quite out sorts of prosperity in this, "the beginning of of sight. Sometimes her course was made their interchange of letters.” The package plain by some extravagance or absurdity. was forwarded to the black man in Germany. When she reached the frontier of Norway she Whether he ever received it, or what he did leaped over the boundary line with shouts of with it nobody knows. . . . She could not joy at being out of Sweden. ... Queen eat; she could not sleep; she fainted away Christina disembarked in Denmark, assumed constantly and thought her time was come. a false name, mounted on horseback in a Her physician in ordinary could make noth man's dress and on a man's saddle, and set ing of her illness. She sent for Bourdelot, off for Hamburg, accompanied by four gen- who saw the case at once. He took away all tlemen and several valets, who served her as her books, ordered rest and amusement and ladies' maids. “She passed like a vagabond," soothed the regret of his patient by assuring says Montglat in his "Memoirs" "from state her that in the French court learned ladies to state, visiting all the courts of Europe.” were considered ridiculous. Christina tried Christina's tour was very much like that of the treatment and found it to her taste. She some wandering circus. Here and there she grew better at once and the remedy was gave a public performance. On such occa- agreeable. She amused herself a little, then sions she got up an improvised suite to sus. much, then passionately; got rid of her man tain her royal character, picking up the per- of science, her ministers and her senators, formers where she could. She would put on threw her dictionaries sky-high and set her all her finery and make a solemn entry into self to make up for lost time. She was now some city, receiving the honors due to her twenty-five; she was, indeed, behindhand. | rank with a pride of bearing that charmed But she did not despair and that with good the crowd. The population flocked to look reason. Few women ever enjoyed more at her, for she was one of the curiosities of amusement than Queen Christina. The royal Christendom. She responded to official ha- palace seemed transformed by a magic wand. rangues with ease and tact, speaking to each It had been a Sorbonne; Bourdelot turned it audience in its own language, presiding as a into a little Louvre of the days when Louis monarch at fêtes made for her and treating XIV. frolicked so wildly with the nieces of men of learning as her comrades. “She can Mazarin. Christina passed her days in par- talk of everything under the sun," writes one ties of pleasure. Christina danced ballets. of her hearers, "not like a princess, but like a Christina rambled in disguise. Christina philosopher.” ... The pope thought it the made fun of her savants. She forced Bo best plan to order cardinals always to attend chard to play battledore and shuttlecock; her. The cardinals could not restrain her; Naude to dance the antique dances, about she led away the cardinals. There was no which he had written learned monographs; fuss of any kind in Rome, no scandal, either Meibon to sing the Greek airs he had dis. at mass or at the theater, on the street or on covered, and she laughed loudly at the the Corso, but Queen Christina was sure to cracked voice of the one and the grotesque be in the midst of it, with her cardinals in capers of the other. ... On the 11th of their red robes. Then came all sorts of February, 1654, Christina assembled the sen- | pranks and young favorites. And at the ate and announced her intention to surrender same time she was insolent to the nobility of the crown to her cousin, Charles Gustavus. Rome, insatiable as to honors, always quarrel. ... She abdicated partly that the pit ing with somebody and oblivious to the fact might applaud her. She, however, had two that she no longer reigned. One day when 139 Christina, Queen OF THE GREAT Cardinal de Medici had displeased her, she complexion, my figure, or my person gener- had cannon pointed at the door of his house ally; and, save in the matters of cleanliness and fired the first shot herself. The marks and honorable conduct, I cherished a pro- were still there during the last century. “Pa- | found contempt for everything pertaining to, tience," she said, “is the virtue of those who my own sex. I could not endure dresses with lack courage and strength.” She made it a trains, but much preferred short skirts, es- point of honor to have nothing to do with pecially in the country. I was so clumsy at such a virtue. ... Six months after she all kinds of needlework that it was quite im- reached Rome Christina was worried by her possible to teach me how to do it. But, on creditors. She applied to the pope, who paid the other hand, I was marvelously quick at her debts and then thought it a good time to learning languages and lessons of every kind. put some check upon her. He offered her two -QUEEN CHRISTINA, "Memoirs." thousand crowns a month, provided she be- A visitor was once invited to hear a num- haved herself. It was too soon for such a ber of Swedish girls sing glees which the bargain. Christina flew into a rage, sent the queen had taught them. They had been rest of her jewelry to a pawnbroker, who taught to sing in French-a language of gave her ten thousand ducats on it, and she which they were all quite ignorant; and the then embarked for Marseilles. ... When visitor found to his amazement that the al- she chose to please she pleased, in spite of leged glees which their innocent lips had been her ridiculous costumes, her masculine man. taught to utter were in reality amorous ners and her want of cleanliness. Only she ditties of such broad indecorum that even never pleased long; the feelings she inspired the most brazen-faced of men could hardly were as changeable as her temper. At Com- have rendered them without blushing. piègne she frightened people for the first half hour and charmed and amused them for the As a queen Christina had often thrown second. She was witty; she made graceful etiquette to the winds, as a woman in exile repartees; people admired her. But before she was more exacting. It was one thing, night came they stood in dread of her imper she felt, to unbend, and quite another to be tinences. She requested the services of the unbent. Hence trouble when the Prince of king's valet de chambre to undress her and Condé proposed to call. He was Christina's to serve her in private, which shocked every hero; she had told Whitelocke that she ranked one. There was a revulsion in her favor the | him next to Cromwell among great men- next morning when she came forth well and she had probably told his countrymen washed and her hair well dressed, lively and that she ranked him above Cromwell. But gay. She amused the young king (Louis she would not agree to descend to the foot of XIV.) immensely and was after all on the the stairs to meet him; and he said he high road to make a favorable impression would not call unless she did.—FRANCIS when she was suddenly seized with one of her GRIBBLE, “The Court of Christina of Sweden.” fits of swearing, blaspheming and flinging She speaks Latin, French, German, Flem- about her legs.--ARVÈDE BARINE (Madam ish and Swedish; and she is learning Greek. Vincent), Revue des Deux Mondes, November, Learned persons converse with her in her 1888. leisure hours of all that is most abstruse in We, the undersigned, promise and bind the various sciences. Her intellect, eager for ourselves hereby to speak Latin with our tu all kinds of knowledge, seeks information tor in future. We made the promise before, about everything. Hardly a day passes with- but we did not keep it. Henceforth, with out her reading Tacitus-an author whom she God's help, we will do as we have promised; calls her game of chess, and whose style is and we will, God willing, begin on Monday. In absolutely intelligible to her, though perplex- order that there may be no doubt about it, ing to many of the erudite.-CHANUT, French we have written this letter with our own hand Ambassador to Stockholm, “Memoirs." and we sign it.-QUEEN CHRISTINA, letter Christina of Sweden complimented the dated Stockholm, October 28, 1639. celebrated Vossius by saying that he was so She can converse in no fewer than eleven well learned as not only to know whence all languages.-PROFESSOR LANNERSCHIED, Jeg. the words came but whither they were go- uit clergyman, letter, quoted by Francis Grib ing.--The Gentleman's Magazine, March, ble, “The Court of Christina of Sweden.” | 1820, quoting H. More. Women's clothes and women's ways were She set out for Helmstadt, in the proy- alike insupportable to me. I never wore their ince of Holland, where she remained four head-dresses. I never took any care of my days and then traveled to Cullen. Here she Christina, Queen Clay, Henry 140 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES resolved upon a strange metamorphosis and On the whole they thought it best to jocosely said, "Now I will be a man." Quit- hush the matter up. Louis XIV. declined to ting her female apparel, in order to travel keep his promise to visit her at Fontaine- • with greater ease, she put on the dress and bleau; but Mazarin sent her old friend Cha- appearance of a young nobleman, with the nut and Abbé Oudelei to see her there and title of Count de Dohna, son to a nobleman beg her that she would represent Monald- of her train, whom, with three others, Count eschi’s death as due to a brawl among cour- Steinberg, Baron Soop and another lord, she tiers, in which swords were drawn. But retained in her service; all ignorant of what Christina would not-those who asked her part of the world they were going to. She to do so did not know her. ... Thrown on sent back all the ladies who attended her. her defense she defended herself with the fury M. LACOMBE, “History of Christina, Queen of of a wild cat at bay. ... The line ultimate- Sweden.” ly taken, at any rate, was that Christina had If it be true, as some of Christina's biog. been guilty of "bad taste"; an offense which raphers surmise, that any idea of a marriage must be punished, but might be purged. The between the Swedish royal lady and Louis punishment took the form of a social boycott. XIV. had been entertained, it must have been Christina was not invited to leave Fontaine- bleau, but was left to her own devices there. quickly scared away by the written reports -FRANCIS GRIBBLE, “The Court of Christina of Mademoiselle de Montpensier. ... What could this queen mother have thought at of Sweden." Compiègne when news from Fontainebleau CHURCHILL, Lord Randolph, Henry Spen. reached her of the Swedish queen sitting up cer, 1849-1895. English statesman.. in bed with a towel tied round her head be Lord Randolph Churchill always retained cause she had just been shaved, and of her his fondness for the study of models and stalking about the stately galleries in male patents, while in his leisure hours he was boots, a buff jerkin and a man's wig?--The never employed more happily than in taking Gentleman's Magazine, January, 1868. to pieces and putting together again the Just as the king (Louis XIV.) was about | works of watches.-T. H. S. Escort, Fort- to start for Fontainebleau to see the queen of nightly Review, March 1, 1895. Sweden, he received news which prevented There used to be a great deal of talk at him from doing so; news to the effect that one time of Lord Randolph Churchill's deal- she had caused her first equerry, who was an ings with the Irish National Party. I am Italian, to be put to death by another Italian, not inclined in these volumes to concern my- on account of certain rascalities and decep self much with the doings of political parties; tions practised on her and on account of cer. but I may say that there were never any tain forged letters which the equerry had dealings between Lord Randolph Churchill shown her, and which caused her the greater and the Irish parliamentary party, the his- offense because even her honor was compro tory of which might have been published mised in them. Such are the diversions of fully in all the daily papers without bring- princes. The name of the assassin is Santi ing the slightest discredit on any one con- nelli and the name of the man assassinated is cerned in these transactions. Lord Randolph, Monaldelschi. As soon as he was dead she however, was sometimes greatly amused at had the wretched man's body conveyed to the wild conjectures which were hazarded the Mathurin convent, where it was buried. every day upon the subject. One night I They say that she herself was in the gallery met him at a large and crowded reception close to the apartment in which the assassin at a London house. I exchanged a few words ation took place. It is a very tragic affair; with him and was about to pass on, when, it also gives one the impression of being a with a look of mysterious meaning, he drew very black and scoundrelly affair. This poor me into a corner. Then he held me care- fellow evidently had some suspicion as to fully by the button-hole, and began to talk what was about to happen, for he was wear to me in an undertone. What he really said ing a coat of mail, which made it very diffi was in substance like this: “You see that cult to despatch him. The queen of Sweden, fellow yonder,” and he mentioned the name told of this, replied they had better cut his of a well-known writer of political gossip throat, which they duly did. I hear that for some of the papers; "he has his eye upon she has written to the king, saying this is us, and I am quite sure he thinks you and I the proper way to treat officers who betray are concocting some tremendous political their sovereigns or are lacking in respect and machination. Now I want to confirm him loyalty to them.-GUY PATIN, "Letters." I in this belief; and so, if you don't mind, we'll 141 Christina, Queen OF THE GREAT Clay, Henry keep talking in this sort of way about any | Buckskins fired off speech after speech, and subject you like, and you'll see if he doesn't Mr. Clay had as much as he could do to have a fine half column of startling news explain the matter and save the legislature in some of the papers to-morrow morning." of Kentucky from repealing the common law I was quite willing to fall in with Lord Ran- | of England.-Harper's Magazine, February, dolph's humor; and accordingly there did 1858. appear something in certain of the papers When General Glasscock, of Georgia, next day about a plot going on between Lord took his seat in Congress as a representative, Randolph and the Irish National Party which a mutual friend asked, “General, may I intro- must be fraught with danger to the most duce you to Henry Clay?" "No, sir," was cherished traditions of our parliamentary the stern response; “I am his adversary and system.-JUSTIN MCCARTHY, “Reminis- choose not to subject myself to his fascina- cences." tion.”--HORACE GREELEY, “Recollections of a It was arranged that Lord Randolph Busy Life.” should resume the debate immediately after They tell in Washington an anecdote of Questions. Had that been possible, all might Judge Story and Clay which is spicy. The have been well. But some one raised a ques. judge was rattling on one evening and, tion of privilege, discussed for a full hour, among other things, observed, that he wished during which Lord Randolph sat fuming. He he had been in Webster's place at that time had at the proper moment taken some drug (the time when Webster made his first designed to "buck up" his frail body through speech on the commercial policy and was op- the hour he intended to speak. When the posed to Clay). Clay looked up at this re- hour had sped the tonic effects of his medi- mark and quietly but cuttingly observed, "I cine were exhausted. It was a decrepit man wish you had.”—EDWARD G. PARKER, with bowed figure and occasionally inarticu- “Reminiscences of Rufus Choate." late voice that at length stood at the table- a painful spectacle, from contemplation of Once, pausing for a moment in an argu- which members gradually withdrew. The | ment before the United States Supreme chamber, which once filled at the signal Court, and probably more than once, advanc- "Churchill is up," was almost empty when ing to one of the justices, who held a snuff- he sat down. Yet Mr. Bryce, who sat at. box in his hand, he airily took a pinch, re- tentive on the treasury bench opposite, and marking, "I see that your honor sticks to heard every word of the speech painfully Scotch.” Justice Story said of it, “I have read from manuscript, told me it was a co- been on this bench for thirty-four years and gent argument, admirably phrased, illumined I do not believe there is a man in the country by happy illustrations, in these respects fall- who could have done that but Henry Clay.” ing nothing short of his earlier successes.- -ERASTUS BROOKS, address before the New HENRY W. LUCY, Blackwood's Magazine, May, York Historical Society, April 6, 1886. 1907. "You do not remember my name?” a CLAY, Henry, 1777-1852. American states- lady said one time upon meeting Henry Clay. "No," was the prompt and gallant response, man. "for when we last met long ago I was sure When Henry Clay was young, and a bril- your beauty and accomplishments would very liant member of the legislature of Kentucky, soon compel you to change it.”—THOMAS one of the old Buckskins heard him quote the HART CLAY, “Henry Clay.” old common law of England as decisive of the case then under discussion. The old fellow Colonel John W. Forney tells a good was astonished and, jumping up, began, "Mr. story about a visit which he paid with For- Speaker, I want to know, sir, if what that rest to Henry Clay soon after the passage of gentleman said is true? Are we all livin' the compromise measure. The Colonel un- under English common law?” The speaker guardedly complimented a speech made by informed the anxious inquirer that the com Senator Soule, which made Mr. Clay's eyes mon law was recognized as part of the law flash, and he proceeded to criticize him very of the land. “Well, sir," resumed Buck severely, ending by saying, “He is nothing skin, "when I remember our fathers, and but an actor, sir--a mere actor.” Then, sud- some of us, fit, bled and died to be free of denly recollecting the presence of the trage- English law, I don't want to be under any dian, he dropped his tone and, turning to of it any longer. And I make a motion that Mr. Forrest, said, with a graceful gesture, it be repealed right away." The motion was “I mean, my dear sir, a mere French actor.” seconded. The Kentucky blood was up. The | The visitors soon after took their leave and, Clay, Henry 142 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES as they descended the stairs, Forrest turned to Forney and said, “Mr. Clay has proven by the skill with which he can change his manner, and the grace with which he can make an apology, that he is a better actor than Soule.”—Atlantic Monthly, May, 1881. In one of Captain Marryat's wanderings in this country he came to Lexington. As he brought a letter of introduction to Mr. Clay he was asked to dine at Ashland. His man- ners were in marked contrast to those of the other guests, who had been invited to meet him. During the dinner Mr. Clay hospitably urged Captain Marryat to have another glass of wine which he rudely declined, setting down his glass with such violence that it was shivered and saying in a loud tone, “No more wine; I have had enough.” Thereupon Mr. Clay turned to another guest and with great courtesy said, “Lewis, you will try this wine, will you not! You have not had too much.”—THOMAS HART CLAY, "Henry Clay.” His favorite recreation for many years was a game of whist, to which, at one period of his life, he was passionately addicted- not for the stakes, if there were any, but for the mere distraction and excitement of the game. There is a tradition that while he was on a visit to Boston in 1816, lodging at the Old Exchange Coffee House in Congress street, a servant rushed into the parlor, in which he was at the whist table with a few gen- tlemen of the old school, and announced that the hotel was on fire. "Oh, there will be time enough, I think,” cried Mr. Clay, “to finish our game," and finish it they did before the hotel was burned to the ground. A sim. ilar tradition was current in Washington at a later period, that while Mr. Clay was Speaker, he and his friends had passed the whole night at cards, and were still going on with their game when the hour was close at hand for the opening of the morning ses- sion of Congress. “Wait a few minutes, gentlemen,” said Mr. Clay, “and I will wash my face and hands and run down to the House and call John W. Taylor to the chair and then I will come back and we will have another rubber.”—ROBERT C. WINTHROP, “A Memoir of Henry Clay." At a large party, given the wife of a cabinet minister, Mrs. Clay, chaperoning a young lady from the North, passed through a room where gentlemen were playing cards, Mr. Clay amongst the number. “Is this a common practise?” inquired the young lady. “Yes,” said Mrs. Clay; "they always play when they get together." "Don't it distress you to have Mr. Clay gamble?” “No, my dear," said the good old lady composedly, "he 'most always wins."-Harper's Magazine, December, 1872. In Congress I recall one incident in the speech in which Mr. Clay said, “I had rather be right than be president.” Whether on or off the floor, when he took part in debate, he was sure to say just what he thought of the fire- eaters of the South and the extremists of the North. At the time I was chairman of the Whig Young Men's Committee of the City of New York and, having the right to the floor (the rules are much more strict now), I ventured to whisper into his ear, in an impulse of real love for the man, the deep and general anxiety felt by the Whig Young Men of New York, and of the country, that nothing should be said by him that could by any possibility defeat his expected nomination. One of Mr. Clay's penetrating looks, and one that meant to me what Milton calls “expressive silence,” in reply, was the only answer to my appeal. This speech, as the result soon made manifest, was in no sense a politic one for a candidate for the presidency. In the spirit of his Alabama let- ter it spared neither men, nor party, nor sections of country where censure was de- served. For himself, with an earnestness and honesty and force of will in voice and man- ner which electrified those who heard him, the conclusion of the whole matter was, “I had rather be right than be president.”— ERASTUS BROOKS, address before the New York Historical Society, April 6, 1886. “I have attentively observed your course as Speaker,” said he to me one day most kindly, "and I have heartily approved it. But let me give you one hint from the experience of the oldest of your predecessors. Decide-- decide promptly-and never give your rea- sons for your decisions. The House will sus. tain your decisions, but there will always be men to cavil and quarrel about your reasons." -ROBERT C. WINTHROP, “A Memoir of Henry Clay.” The House was harangued by the late Governor Lincoln, of Maine, in his usual eloquent but verbose and declamatory man. ner. He was considering the revolutionary pension bill and replying to an argument which opposed it on the ground that those to whom it proposed to extend pecuniary aid might perhaps live a long time and thus cause heavy drafts to be made upon the treasury. In one of his elevated flights of 143 Clay, Henry OF THE GREAT patriotic enthusiasm he burst out with the might shoot all day and not hit the mark exclamation: "Soldiers of the Revolution! again; let him try it over; let him try it Live forever!” Mr. Clay succeeded him, in over.” “No; beat that, beat that, and then favor also of the humane proposition, but did I will,” retorted Mr. Clay. But as no one not respond to his desire relative to the seemed disposed to make the attempt, it was length of the lives of those worthies for considered that he had given satisfactory whose benefit it was devised, and when he proof that he was the best shot in the county, closed, turning suddenly to Mr. Lincoln and and this unimportant incident gained him the with a smile upon his countenance, observed, vote of every hunter and marksman in the "I hope my worthy friend will not insist assembly, which was composed principally of upon the very great duration of those pen that class of persons, as well as their sup- sions which he has suggested. Will he not port throughout the county. The most re- consent, by way of a compromise, to a term of markable feature respecting the whole inci- nine hundred and ninety-nine years, in dent is yet to be told. Said Mr. Clay, “I stead of eternity?”—DANIEL MALLORY, "Life had never before fired a rifle and have not and Speeches of Henry Clay.” since.”-DANIEL MALLORY, “Life and Speeches Uniformly cheerful while on the floor, he of Henry Clay.” sometimes indulged in repartee. The late | Francis P. Blair had been the partner General Alexander Smyth, of Virginia, a man of Amos Kendall in the publication of the of ability and research, was an excessively Frankfort Argus and they had both de- tedious speaker, worrying the House and serted Henry Clay when they enlisted in prolonging his speeches by numerous quota the movement which gave the electoral vote tions. On one of these occasions, when he of Kentucky to Jackson and joined in the had been more than ordinarily tiresome, cry of "bargain and corruption" raised while hunting up an authority, he observed against their former friend. It is related to Mr. Clay, who was sitting near him, “You, that at the first interview between Clay and sir, speak for the present generation; but I | Blair after this desertion was a very awk- speak for posterity.” “Yes," said Mr. Clay, ward one for the latter, who felt that he had "and you seem resolved to speak until the behaved very shabbily. Clay had ridden over arrival of your audience.”—EPES SARGENT, on horseback from Lexington to Frankfort, "Henry Clay." in the winter season, on legal business, and The Politician on alighting from his horse at the tavern door He beckoned with his hand to Mr. Clay found himself confronting Blair, who was just leaving the house. "How do you do, to approach him, who immediately complied. Mr. Blair?" inquired the Great Commoner, “Young man,” said he, "you want to go to the legislature, I see.” “Why, yes," replied in his silvery tones and blandest manner, Mr. Clay; "yes, I should like to go, as my at the same time extending his hand. Blair friends have seen proper to put me up as a mechanically took the tendered hand, but candidate before the people; I do not wish was evidently nonplussed and at length said, to be defeated.” “Are you a good shot ?" with an evident effort, “Pretty well, I thank “The best in the county.” “Then you shall you; how did you find the roads from Lex- ington here?” “The roads are very bad, Mr. go, but you must first give us a specimen of your skill; we must see you shoot.” “I Blair,” graciously replied Clay—“very bad; never shoot any rifle but my own and that and I wish, sir, you would mend your ways." is at home.” “No matter; here is Old Bess; -The Atlantic Monthly, April, 1880. she never fails in the hands of a marksman; When the odious compensation bill was she has often sent death through a squirrel's to be encountered, in the congressional cam- head one hundred yards and daylight through paign of 1816, Mr. Clay met an old and many a redskin at twice that distance; if you once ardent political friend, a Kentucky can shoot any gun you can shoot Old Bess.” hunter, wlio expressed dissatisfaction at his “Well, put up your mark; put up your mark," vote on the above-named bill. “Have you a replied Mr. Clay. The target was placed at good rifle, my friend ?” asked Mr. Clay. a distance of about eighty yards, when, with “Yes.” “Did it ever flash?” “It did once." all the coolness and steadiness of an old ex- | “And did you throw it away?” “No; I picked perienced marksman, he drew Old Bess to his the flint, tried it again and found it was shoulder and fired. The bullet pierced the true.” “Have I ever flashed, except this target near the center. “Oh, a chance shot! | once that you complain of ?" "No." “And a chance shot!” exclaimed several of his will you throw me away?” “No, no," said political opponents. "A chance shot; he the hunter with much emotion, grasping Mr. Clay, Henry Cloveland, Grover 144 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Clay's hand; “I will pick the flint and try parently in great splendor, come forward, it again.”—CALVIN COLTON, "Clay and His whom he took to be a peer of the realm. Times.” (A similar anecdote is told of He rose and asked his visitor to be seated, but Richard Mentor Johnson, 1781-1850, Vice the latter declined, and observed that he President of the United States, in his biog was the first waiter of Lord Castlereagh. raphy by William Emmons.) “The first waiter of Lord Castlereagh!” ex- claimed Mr. Clay; "well, what is your One of our representatives in the Con. pleasure with me?” “Why, if your excel. gress of the United States is Michael Walsh, | lency please," said the man, “it is usual for of this city, and since he has been at the a foreign minister, when presented to Lord Capitol the subjoined story of a laughable Castlereagh, to make his first waiter a pres. "interview” which he once had with the ent, or pay him the customary stipend," late lamented Henry Clay has been revived at the same time handing to Mr. Clay a and has created a good deal of merriment: long list of names of foreign ministers, with When Walsh was an apprentice in New York the sum which every one had paid affixed in the lithographic printing business, it so to his name. Mr. Clay, thinking it a vile chanced that Henry Clay was in the city and, extortion, took the paper and, while read- as usual, was the honored guest of the peo- ing it, thought how he should repel so ex- ple. His reception room was directly oppo- ceptionable a demand. He returned it to the site where Walsh worked and the crowd was servant, telling him that, as it was the cus- seen by the workmen passing into the hotel tom of the country, he presumed it was to shake hands with the Great Commoner. all right, but that he was not the minister The workers dared Walsh to go over and to England; Mr. Adams was the minister shake hands with Mr. Clay, dressed as he and was daily expected from Paris and, he was, with a paper cap, sleeves rolled up and had no doubt, would do what was right. face and arms bedaubed with ink. "He “But,” said the servant very promptly, "if wouldn't be dared,” he said, “to do any. your excellency pleases, it makes no differ- thing"; slapping his hand on the inkstone ence whether the minister presented be the he made it moist with the sticky fluid. He resident minister or a special minister, as I then moved 'mechanically across the street, understand your excellency to be it is al- entered, was introduced and shook hands ways paid.” Mr. Clay, who had come to Eng- with Mr. Clay. He gave a cordial grasp, land to argue with the master, finding himself 80 much so that the hands stuck partly to- in danger of being beaten in an argument by gether; but on went Walsh, with the crowd the man, concluded it was best to conform that had preceded him, and, looking over to the usage, objectionable as he thought it; his shoulder, observed Mr. Clay gazing with and, looking over the paper for the smallest a mingled expression of astonishment and sum paid by any minister, handed the fellow playfulness at the inky hand which had been five guineas and dismissed him. left him. But Henry Clay was great, even in little things, and, taking the affair like a Mr. Clay remained in Paris upwards of sensible man, in a jocular way, he instantly two months. On the night of his arrival in determined to pass the joke and pass it lit. that brilliant metropolis, he found at Mr. erally. The consequence was that the intro- Crawford's an invitation to a ball given by duced, white kids and all, carried away with the American banker, Mr. Hottinguer, on them a portion of the printer's ink, until the occasion of the pacification between the Mr. Clay's hand was almost cleared of the United States and Great Britain. There he "soft impeachment,” and he was near being met for the first time the celebrated Madame convulsed with laughter at the odd predica- de Staël, was introduced to her and had with ment of himself and his sharers. Mr. Clay her a long and animated conversation. "Ah," was often heard to speak of it as one of the said she, “Mr. Clay, I have been in England amusing incidents of his life.-Harper's Mag. and have been battling your cause for you azine, February, 1854. there.” “I know it, madame; we heard of your powerful interposition and we are grate- In Europe ful and thankful for it.” “They were very A few days after his interview with Lord much enraged against you," said she; “so Castlereagh, the keeper of the house at much so that at one time they thought se- which Mr. Clay lodged announced a per-| riously of sending the Duke of Wellington to son who wished to speak to him. Mr. Clay command their armies against you.” “I directed him to be admitted; and, on his en- | am very sorry, madame," replied Mr. Clay, trance, perceived an individual, dressed ap- | “that they did not send his grace.” “Why?" 145 Clay, Henry Cleveland, Grover OF THE GREAT asked she, surprised. “Because, madame, if What has done this? The blasted Feudal he had beaten us, we should have been in the System they want to fasten onto this coun- condition of Europe, without disgrace. But, try, same as they did onto Greece. And then if we had been so fortunate as to defeat him, just look at the expense. What do you we should have greatly added to the renown think England owes this minute for wars of our arms." The next time he met Madame and high living under this Feudal System? de Staël was at a party at her own house, Why, more than nine thousand dollars, and which was attended by the marshals of the interest runnin' on all the while. Do France, the Duke of Wellington and other you want any system like that h'isted onto distinguished persons. She introduced Mr. this country? Do you want it, my fellow Clay to the duke, and at the same time re citizens?" Well, they didn't and so made lated the above anecdote. He replied with manifest at the polls. In a sparse settle- promptness and politeness, that if he had been ment in the wilderness, where, as the orator sent on that service, and had been so fortu said, “the sile am rich, but money are scurse" nate as to have been successful over a foe so -where a silver dollar is supposed to be the gallant as the Americans, he would have size of a cartwheel-nine thousand dollars, as regarded it as the proudest feather in his the national debt of Great Britain, seemed an cap.-EPES SARGENT, "Henry Clay.” unaccountable and a “most numerous” amount of money. Mr. Clay used to tell this story Stories Clay Told with great good humor and effect and many Mr. Clay had a standing joke which he a laugh had his friends over the idea how never failed to perpetrate at Mr. Adams's glad the English government would be to expense when he caught his Massachusetts strike a bargain with some Yankee financier colleague in a congenial crowd. Adams was who would pay their national debt with the afflicted during his whole life with a disease terrific nine thousand dollars.--Harper's of the lachrymal duct, which caused his Magazine, April, 1856. optics to be constantly watery. The two One of Mr. Clay's stories which he used occupied the same apartment and a buxom to tell with dramatic effect: As he was Swiss damsel attended the room. Clay's coming here one November the stage stopped story was that upon his attempting to snatch for the passengers to get supper at a little a kiss from the handsome chambermaid, he town on the mountainside, where there had was bluffed with, "Oh, no, Mr. Clay, you been a militia muster that afternoon. When must not, for Mr. Adams a few minutes ago the stage was ready to start, the colonel, in begged me with tears in his eyes for a similar full regimentals, but somewhat inebriated, favor and I refused him."-Harper's Maga- insisted on riding with the driver, thinking zine, December, 1873. doubtless that the fresh air would restore Speaking of the national debt of Great him. It was not long though before he fell Britain, the late lamented and honored off into the mud. The coach stopped, of statesman Henry Clay used to tell a capital course, for the colonel to regain his seat. story of an opponent of his, who, in a stump He soon gathered himself up, when the fol. speech in the midst of the unsettled parts lowing colloquy ensued: “Well, driver, we've of the then Far West western states, gave had a turnover, hain't we?” “No; we have his "sentiments” and “profound views" of not turned over at all.” “I say we have.” letters and things. He was a small pettifog “No; you are mistaken; you only fell off.” ger—"wordy, wise and wandering” in all that “I say we have; I'll leave it to the com- he said and with the utmost confusion of pany. Haven't we had a turnover here, gen- what he was talking about; only he knew tlemen ?” Being assured they had not, “Well, he was accusing Mr. Clay of wanting to in- driver, if I'd known that I wouldn't have troduce the cussed Feudal System into this got off.”—BEN: PERLEY POORE, “Perley's country. Some demagogue had told him Reminiscences.” that this was the nature of Mr. Clay's Pro- tective System. “Look 'o here now, my CLEVELAND, Grover, 1837-1908. Presi- friends," said he, "jest look at it. I want dent of the United States. to know if any of you who hear my voice He was not a well read lawyer and when- wants this Feudal System? What has it ever it became necessary for him to use a done for England, and Europe, and France, decision bearing on any point it was his and Scotland and other foreign countries? habit to lounge into Cleveland's office and Look at 'em. Half of 'em are no better | casually worm the desired information out than slaves, and some of 'em not so well off. of his friend's mental storehouse. “Grover” Cleveland, Grover 146 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES was not so dull as not to appreciate the fact his routine correspondence, until in July, and to resent the sponging--not so much be- | 1892, when, with the national campaign on cause the process was worthy of that name as his hands, he was living far off at Buzzards because he wished to spur his friend on to Bay, where he could not shift any part of more energetic work. One day the friend the burden. So during that year when, came in on his usual errand and, when according to a letter, he was working until Cleveland had heard the preliminaries usual two o'clock every morning trying to get from to the pumping process, the latter told his under a snowslide of letters with very little questioner that he had given him all the success, he consented to employ a secretary, information on law matters that he was go Robert Lincoln O'Brien, of Boston, a young ing to. “There are my books,” said Cleveland, man, who, being intelligent and efficient, was "and you are quite welcome to use them. You of great assistance to him both then and can read up your own cases.” “See here, later in Washington for a year or so in his Grover Cleveland," said the friend, "I want second term. But dictation was a very diffi- you to understand that I don't read law. cult art for him to master-in fact, he never I practise entirely by ear and you and your pretended to master it. He was very awk- books can go to thunder."--Albany Law ward at it and the resulting letters were Journal, April 17, 1886, quoting the Buffalo apt to be diffuse and inconclusive, while those Express. of his own writing were both concise and A few days before the inauguration of informing. To the very end he only used Grover Cleveland as governor Lieutenant- this aid—which has become a necessity for Governor William Dorsheimer said to me: the modern business or public man-in the "Cleveland does not want to occupy the execu- most important cases. His resort was still tive mansion. He thought he could establish the pen.-GEORGE F. PARKER, “Recollections himself at one of the hotels and live the same of Grover Cleveland.” bachelor life as in Buffalo. It would have Out in the Indian Territory an Indian, been a tremendous error. A number of us an idle and, I fear, a very bad one, had killed strong friends of his-got at him in protest. another of his own sort in a drunken brawl. We told him that he would offend the sense The case appeared to be a perfectly clear of the people of the state, who had provided and straight one, but when I brought Mr. for their chief executive an official residence Cleveland the papers I saw that he was in- and who desired to see the man they hon terested and that he was not likely to be ored hedged about with the dignity which is satisfied with the department recommendation part of his great office. And also on the that the law should take its course. The ground of expediency we showed him that it record was an elaborate one, even as we had would be a mistake, for he would be over prepared it, but it was still insufficient to whelmed in the easy approach hotel life satisfy the president and his scruples. There would afford. He has yielded and will oc was none too much time to act, so he de- cupy the mansion, but I think the argu layed the execution and called for the full ment of expediency rather than the other shorthand report of the trial. He instructed swayed him.- WILLIAM C. HUDSON, "Ran us to procure further letters from the judges, dom Recollections of an Old Political Re the district attorney and the jurors. When porter.” these were submitted he went all over them He never dictated any of his corre- | with the most elaborate and painstaking care spondence or public addresses but always and finally disposed of the case with a made the first draft in his own hand. During memorandum in a few words, granting a my stay at the White House as his executive commutation. When he had come to a deci. clerk there was but one instance in which sion in this case he said to me: “Boteler, he dictated anything and that was the be I could not have slept nights if this man ginning of a very brief note. ... He dictated had been hanged because of a declination a few sentences of the letter and then, turn or a failure on my part to look into his case. ing to the stenographer, said, “Oh, you know He is only a poor Indian, but I cannot forget what I want to find out; fix it up and bring that he has nobody else in the world to look it into me.”—GEORGE F. PARKER, "Recollec after him and see that his rights are fully tions of Grover Cleveland," contribution by preserved.”---GEORGE F. PARKER, McClure's George B. Cortelyou. Magazine, February, 1909, quoting Alexander Perhaps there were few things more R. Boteler. dreaded than dictation to a stenographer and I was with Cleveland when the excite- Mr. Cleveland never resorted to it, even for 1 ment broke into a storm over the country 147 Cleveland, Grover OF THE GREAT because of his order for the return of the father at New Brunswick. But when that battle flags taken during the Civil War. I station was finally reached the ex-president, asked him if he recalled Senator Sumner's without saying anything to the rest of the speech opposing the placing in the Capitol of party, quietly stole out of the rear door and any permanent memorial or work of art to | watched until he saw the child safe in her exult over the vanquishment of the South. father's arms; then he returned to the group He asked me to find the record and have it he had left and went on with the conversation published. I did so, including the resolution as if nothing had happened.—JESSE LYNCH of the Massachusetts legislature bitterly cen- | WILLIAMS, “Mr. Cleveland.” suring Sumner for the speech and the sub- An old voter from the backwoods of sequent expunging of that resolution while Ohio came to Washington for the first time. the senator was dying. The next morning He had never seen a president, much less had the papers were full of denunciation of the he seen Mr. Cleveland. He seemed to be one president and published a statement by Gen- of the old timers who believe that there is a eral Lucius Fairchild, of Wisconsin, to the halo around the head of a democratic execu- effect that he had received the first notice tive. The old gentleman was among the first of the president's battle-flag order from his in the procession of handshakers and when old comrade in arms, General Drum, adjutant- he reached the president his joy and excite- general of the United States army. When I ment knew no bounds. Hurriedly grasping called Mr. Cleveland's attention to this, he Mr. Cleveland's hand, he shouted, "Grover, drew from his desk an official letter from I'm glad of it!" The force and earnestness of Drum, written some months before, recom- the remark were too much for the president mending that the president issue the order and he joined in the hearty laugh which fol- for the return of the captured flags as an lowed. act of amity to the South. I was astonished at this revelation and said, “Of course, you The other day an old gentleman, who was will publish Drum's letter.” The president a little absent-minded, when introduced to simply said, "No; the order was mine. I do the president by Congressman Breckinridge, not wish to divide the responsibility. I have said, “Excuse me, but I didn't catch the examined the matter and find that I had no name." When his wits returned the chance legal authority to issue such an order and of a lifetime had gone forever.-FRANCIS LEON I have recalled it."-GEORGE F. PARKER, MC CRISMAN, Munsey's Magazine, November, Clure's Magazine, February, 1909, quoting 1893. John P. Irish. • On the “rest days," (certain days of the One summer, when he was living at Gray | week when the state laws provide a rest for Gables and I at Marion, I boarded a train the ducks) he played high, low, jack and up the road and, thinking he might be on it, the game-not for an hour or two, but all day went through the coaches looking for the ex long, from breakfast to bedtime. One by one president. I found him at last sitting on a he would tire out the rest of the party at it. rough chair under a shelf in the baggage car, | In self-defense they usually agreed to play he having given up his seat in the crowded with him in relays. passenger car to a woman and unconcernedly taken refuge among the bundles and baggage Once, “while in Washington,” to use the ex-president's phrase for being president, he in the forward part of the train. brought home a number of wild swans he There was a “Children's Hour” at the had shot down South and sent one with his White House during his second term, when compliments to each member of his cabinet in the twilight a little child would be and to some of his other associates. “Well, brought into the executive office and the all the boys thanked me politely for remem- work of the government would be suspended bering them, but none seemed to have much and much ink would be lavished while two to say about how they enjoyed the birds. big hands helped two small ones in making Carlisle, I found out, had his cooked one pictures on sheets of writing paper spread night when he was dining out. Another, out upon the president's desk.--RICHARD when I asked him said he hoped I wouldn't WATSON GILDER, "Grover Cleveland.” mind, but he had sent it home to his old Once on the train from New York he be mother. Thurber did not mention his bird came much concerned over a little girl who at all for two days. Finally I asked him seemed to be traveling alone. Finally he about it: 'Thurber, did you get that swan had to go and ask her about it. She said all right? Yes, sir; oh, yes, sir; I got the that it was all right, she was to be met by her | swan all right,' and he bent over his desk and Cleveland, Grover Cockburn, sir Alexander WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 148 seemed to be very busy. “Fine bird,' I said. prevailed upon to visit India and that neither 'Yes, sir; fine bird,' he said and went on party upon personal acquaintance felt dis. working. 'Enjoy eating him, Thurber?' He posed for a nearer connection, the sum of five waited a minute. Then he said, 'Well, I thousand pounds was to be presented to her. guess they didn't cook him right at my house. With this understanding all scruples were They cooked him only two days,' and he overcome. Miss Maskelyne went out to India went on working without cracking a smile." and immediately thereafter became the wife There was one young man who needed of Clive, who, already prejudiced in her two hundred dollars to get through the year. favor, is said to have expressed himself surprised that she could ever have been Mr. Cleveland sent for him and said that his represented to him as plain.-Chambers's library sorely needed cataloguing. So the young man worked for a few days and re- Journal, July 6, 1850. ceived a check for one hundred dollars. That COBDEN, Richard, 1804-1865. English was half of what he needed. A month or two statesman. later Mr. Cleveland mixed the books up a He fitted exactly a story Emerson told me: little and had the student do it over again. when Cobden was in the thick of the struggle Thus the young man received his two hun. against the corn laws, one of his little chil. dred dollars and retained his self-respect.- dren asked: "Mama, who is that gentle- JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS, “Mr. Cleveland.” man who comes here sometimes ?”—MONCURE He told me the story of the old darkey | D. CONWAY, “Autobiography and Memoirs." who risked his life when out fishing to save It was in connection with the Illinois a small darkey. He was asked whether the Railway that Cobden made his second voyage boy was his own. “Oh, no, sah; he not my to the United States. He went on behalf of son.” “Well, was he some relative that you other English stockholders to examine the risked your life for him?” “No, sah; he no line and its management on the spot. He relative; no, sah.” “Then why did you plunge remained in the country for three months. in in that reckless way and fetch him out?" Everything that he saw delighted him. The "Well, sah, the fact is, sah, that that boy material and moral progress since his visit in had the bait.”--RICHARD WATSON GILDER, 1835 realized all his expectations.-JOHN “Grover Cleveland.” MORLEY, "Richard Cobden." CLIVE, Robert, Baron Clive of Plassey, 1725- It was a favorite story told against Cob- 1774. English statesman. den by his adversaries, that when he visited the Illinois Central Railroad, the company Her maiden name was Maskelyne, sister gave free tickets to the residents near each to the eminent mathematician, so called, who station, that the seeming crowd of travelers long held the post of astronomer royal. ... might impose on Cobden to report well on its The brother and sister, it appears, kept up an prospects. It was what smart business Amer- affectionate correspondence. ... The epistles icans might be supposed to do. But it did of the lady, through the partiality of her not impose on the popular traveler, whom brother, were frequently shown to Clive, and many naturally strove to see.-GEORGE they bespoke her to be from what other ac- JACOB HOLYOAKE, “Bygones Worth Remem- counts she was--a woman of very superior bering." understanding and of much amiability of character. ... So strongly did her epistolary Mr. Cobden was a most good-tempered powers attract the interest and gain for her man, but any mention of Lord Palmerston the affection of Clive, that it ended by his would upset him, and I perfectly remember offering to marry the young lady, if she Mr. Bernal Osborne meeting him at Dangs- could be induced to visit her brother at teen and saying, “Well, Mr. Cobden, how is Madras. The latter, through whom the sug. Lord Palmerston ?” well knowing that some gestion was made, hesitated and seemed in- fun would result. The great free trader had clined to discourage the proposition. ... a fixed idea that Lord Palmerston was not He would take no refusal and then was the a sincere politician. A frequent and comical brother of Miss Maskelyne forced to own that, complaint of his was, “Whatever I may say highl, as nis sister was endowed with every of the old gentleman, he still persists in call- mental qualification, nature had been singu ing me his honorable friend."-LADY DORO- larly unfavorable to her-personal attractions THY NEVILL, Anglo-Saxon Reviewo, March, she had none. The future hero of Plassey 1900. was, however, not to be deterred—but he 1 Everybody who remembers anything of made this compromise: If the lady could be | Cobden's political career will remember that 149 Cleveland, Grover Cockburn, Sir Alexander OF THE GREAT den ald.” when the Tories went out of office and Lord Danish officer explained that his ship was Palmerston came into power at the head of a but two days out from Algiers, where the Liberal government, Palmerston offered Cob plague was raging furiously. This was place in the administration as Presi- enough; the Spaniard hastily wished him a dent of the Board of Trade. At the time of pleasant voyage and pulled back to the the change Cobden was returning from frigate, and the Speedy made off to resume America, and a deputation of his friends went her usual avocations. to meet him at Liverpool to tell him of the Creditors, wearied beyond endurance, at offer, which must have been news to him, and last obtained an order to put an execution to get his opinion on it. Cobden very natur- into the house at Holly Hill. Cochrane, ally declined to be drawn on the subject or aware of his reputation as a maker of infer- to give any intimation of the course he nal machines, surrounded his windows and meant to adopt, until he should have per- door with bags of charcoal and therewith de- sonally received the offer and should have fied the sheriff of Hampshire and all his offi- had time to take counsel with his friends. No doubt, as he afterwards explained in a cers. For six weeks the siege continued, no public address, he would not under any cir. one daring to face these mysterious bags, until at last one man, less careful of life cumstances have accepted office under Lord than the rest, jumped in at an open window Palmerston. But he saw no reason why his and discovered Cochrane sitting comfortably friend and colleague in public affairs, Mr. at breakfast.-J. W. FORTESCUE, "Dundon- Milner Gibson, to whom office had also been tendered by Lord Palmerston, should not ac- cept the offer. Mr. Milner Gibson had never COCKBURN, Sir Alexander James Edward, made himself so conspicuous in his opposition 1802-1880. English statesman and jurist. to Palmerston as Cobden had done, and On one occasion a person who was present Milner Gibson, therefore, with the full ap- | at a sitting of the Court of Sessions, re' urn- proval of his friend, accepted the position. I ing late in the afternoon, found the same case heard that when Cobden visited Lord Pal- still on, and the same advocates still bestow- merston to explain his reasons for not taking ing on the court, to adopt Lord Denman's office he said good-humoredly, amongst other description of Sir Frederick Pollock, “tedi- things, that he had again and again described ousness in a spirit of lavish prodigality.” Palmerston in public as the worst Foreign He remarked to Lord Cockburn, “Surely, - Minister England ever had. “But,” said is wasting a great deal of time.” “Time," Palmerston, “Milner Gibson has often said was the reply, "lang ago has he exhaustit just the same of me.” “Yes," replied Cobden time and has encroached upon eternity."- blandly, “but then I meant it.”—JUSTIN Westminster Review, 1883. McCARTHY, “Reminiscences." Landseer remarked that even Shake- COCHRANE, Thomas, Earl of Dundonald, speare had made mistakes, for in “As You 1775-1860. British admiral. Like It” he makes “a poor sequestered stag” Once his eagerness went near to compass shed "big, round tears.” “Now,” said Land- his destruction. Seeing a large ship inshore seer, “I have made stags my special study which had the appearance of a heavily laden and I know for a fact that it is quite impos- merchantman, he at once gave chase, only to sible for them to shed tears.” Most of us find on coming up with her that she was a were inclined to accept this statement as a powerful Spanish frigate heavily armed and curious and innocent Shakespearian com- crowded with men. To attack her was hope- mentary, but Cockburn suddenly startled us less, to escape impossible. With imperturb by turning on Landseer and asking him in a able coolness Cochrane hoisted Danish colors loud voice, "And don't you think you are and spoke the frigate; but the Spaniards committing a most unwarranted imperti- were not satisfied and sent off a boat to board nence in criticizing Shakespeare?" A bomb the Speedy. Then the Danish quartermaster exploding in our midst could not have created was brought forward in his Danish uniform greater dismay than this violent and unex- and at the same time the Speedy hoisted the pected exclamation. Poor Landseer, the most quarantine flag. The horror of the plague, sensitive of mortals, turned pale; Cockburn always strong in the Spanish mind, was at continued to glare at him and all I could do once effectually aroused by the sight of the was to break up the party and bundle my yellow bunting; and the boat, instead of quarrelsome guest into the garden. Cockburn boarding the Speedy, was glad to hail her joined the ladies while Landseer remained from a distance. Whereupon the pseudo- | with the rest of us almost beside himself Cockburn, Sir Alexander WIT. WISDOM AND FOIBLES 150 Columbus, Christopher with anger at the churlish and unprovoked has come down to us consoles us for the loss attack. Now came a great difficulty. How of the rest: "Cowell's Interpreter" being cited was Landseer to be got home? We were, as against an opinion he had expressed when I have said, some six miles from town; it Chief Justice, he contemptuously called the was Sunday evening and no cabs were to learned civilian Dr. Cow-heel.-LORD JOIN be had for love or money. I therefore made CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Chief Justices of every imaginable effort to bring about a rec England.” onciliation. With this view I entreated Seeking another wife he looked up to no Landseer to forget and forgive. "Remember, less a person than the sister of the famous Sir Edwin,” said I, “that long after he has Lord Burleigh, the relict of Sir William joined all the chief justices and has been Hatton, an ambitious gratification for which forgotten, your name will remain as that of he afterwards suffered. This suit was ac- the greatest English painter of this or any cepted, but an unlucky censure followed the other age.” “That's true,” replied Sir Edwin, celebration of the nuptials. It appeared, that "and I am willing to make it up and ride in the year 1598, when the ceremony took home with him, but,” he added, “begad, sir, place in a private house, a very strict and he had better know if he begins again I am imperative letter had been written by Whit- the man to get down, take off my coat and gift to his suffragan bishops, complaining of fight him in the lanes." All attempts, how- the administration of the marriage rites at ever, to conciliate Sir Alexander were in vain. unseasonable hours and undue places, and When I told him that Landseer was willing ordaining that the constitution, made in to shake hands and go home with him he shut convocation respecting licenses, should be me up by replying curtly, “I will not take rigidly observed. By that rule it was di- him." He drove away alone. rected that all marriages should take place At dinner, of course, the conversation between eight and twelve in the forenoon, turned upon the Tichborne case and I re and in prescript places, that is, in the parish member that Cockburn expressed his opinion churches where the parties to be married or very emphatically to the effect that the claim- | their parents or governors dwelt. ... In ant was an impostor. Houghton, however, consequence, Mr. Coke, his wife, Mr. Both- argued upon the other side. Suddenly Cock well, rector of Okeover, in Rutlandshire, who burn cut him short by saying, "I should have had married them, Lord Burleigh and others, thought this impossible from any one with were prosecuted in the archbishop's court. the meanest intellect.” Houghton paused, ap- The pains of ecclesiastical punishments still parently overwhelmed, and then replied, “But, had a wonderful effect on men's minds and surely, this is very rude,” upon which Cock these persons had incurred the severe penal- burn, glancing fixedly at him, merely added, ties of the greater excommunication. By the “I meant it to be so." Lord Houghton, the lesser excommunication the offender was only most placable and amiable of men, never deprived of the use of the sacraments and forgot or forgave the affront.-Cornhill Mag divine worship; the greater, in addition to azine, April, 1892. these punishments, shut them out from the society and conversations of the faithful. COKE, Sir Edward, 1552-1634. Chief Jus But this sentence extended much further tice of England. than the mere banishment of the culprit His habit of early rising, which attended from society; it loaded him with nearly every him through life, gave him ample time for species of incompetency and even excluded his studies. His grandson, Roger Coke, tells him from Christian burial, so that in its us that he usually rose at three o'clock in severity it might have borne a strong com- the morning.-C. W. JOHNSON, "Life of Sir parison with the ancient ban of præmunire. Edward Coke." The king's attorney-general, therefore, found His progress in science we may judge by it necessary to sacrifice his pride and con- his dogmatic assertion that "the metals are sequence and to supplicate for a remission six: gold, silver, copper, tin, lead and iron, of the various evils to which he had sub- and they all proceed originally from sulphur jected his friends in common with himself. and quicksilver, as from their father and Accordingly we find the request made and mother.” He is charged by Bacon with talk complied with by a dispensation under the ing a great deal in company and aiming at archbishop's seal, which is registered in jocularity on the bench; but he associated Lambeth Palace, and by which he absolved chiefly with dependents, who worshiped him | them from all the pains with which they as an idol; and the only jest of his which were menaced; alleging their inadvertence 151 , Christopher OF THE GREAT ColumbusCockburnAlexander , Sir and ignorance of ecclesiastical law as an ex- cuse for their misconduct and his mercy.- H. W. WOOLRYCH, “Life of Edward Coke." COLERIDGE, John Duke, Baron, 1820-1894. Chief Justice of England. Lord Coleridge's speech at the Irving ban- quet was not a success. He is not an effective after-dinner orator and then he needs peo- ple to explain their jokes to him. Mr. Toole, for example, was frightfully depressed on discovering this fact-for which neither he nor the company were quite prepared. The “Mammoth Comique," of the Old Folly theater, made an allusion to the Tichborne trial, and playfully suggested that Lord Coleridge not only invited him to a seat alot- ted to a member of the bar when the case was going on, but to their "consultations” together. "How far," said Mr. Toole in ac- cents of serio-comic earnestness, “in our con- sultations I was able to assist him in his difficult task must ever remain a profound professional secret between us," an announce- ment received, as might have been expected, with peals of laughter. Everybody saw that "Johnny” was simply giving "the Chief” a cue for a witty reply and the dismay that seized upon the company when Lord Coleridge took the great jester aux serieus and pro- ceeded with ponderous gravity to give an official and formal denial to the fact that he ever held professional consultations with Mr. Toole on the occasion referred to, was a spectacle never to be forgotten.--Albany Law Journal, August 11, 1883, quoting Pump Court. COLIGNY, Gaspard de, 1517-1572. French Other points are mentioned by Professor Marcks. No one in a scufle was to raise the cry of his nation. Other particulars of Coligny's personal appearance and habits have come down to us from other quarters. One of them is the habitual toothpick. It was usually thrust in- to the beard, or carried on the ear or between the teeth. When in a brown study he was accustomed to bite it unconsciously. It was therefor seized on by the crowd as a symbol of his personality. “God save us,” ran the popular legend, "from the toothpick of the admiral.” And when after his death the Paris rabble wished to express their derision of his effigy in straw, they stuck into his mouth a piece of lentisk wood.-A. W. WHITEHEAD, “Gaspard de Coligny." I told the captains that if they heard me employ language which breathed sur- render, I begged them to throw me over the wall into the fosse; and if any one proposed it to me, I would do no less to him.-WHITE- HEAD, quoting Coligny. In the dead of night-so runs the nar- rative—the admiral was awaked by the sobs of his wife and, on inquiry into the cause of her distress, she replied that she was over- whelmed with sorrow at the thought of the suffering which their brethren in the faith had to endure. “They are bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. Do not your arguments against defending them savor rather of worldly than of heavenly wisdom? You confess that at times you have misgivings- these are the voices of God. The sword of knighthood which you wear--is it to oppress the amicted, or to deliver them from the tyrant's claws? The blood of so many of our people lies heavy on my heart.” Her husband replied by setting forth the perils to which war might expose them. "Ponder well,” he urged, "whether you are prepared to face beggary, shame, death on the scaf- fold-all these not for yourself only, but, what is far harder, for your children. I give you three weeks in which to test your- self and, when you shall have consciously fortified yourself against such calamities, I will go to meet death with you and your friends.” “The three weeks have passed," was her instant reply.-Quarterly Review, July, 1888. COLUMBUS, Christopher, 1445-1506. Dis- coverer of America. (Columbus and the egg story furnished a subject for discussion in Notes and Queries (1898) from which it was determined: (1) general. His ordinances regulated the daily life of the common soldier. Their value, therefore, was great. They accustomed him to the rule of law. They dealt with his relations to his fellows, his captains, sergeants, merchants and vivandières. They provided for cases of looting, sack, robbery, desertion, cowardice, mutiny, sleeping while on duty and cheating at cards. The punishment varied. For rob- bery, looting of churches and graver crimes, it was hanging. Minor delinquencies were generally visited by the penalty of being passé par les piques, that is to say, beaten with the haft of the pike or the butt of the arquebus. One section reveals the essentially religious temper of the man: "The soldier who shall take the name of God in vain shall be publicly pilloried on three divers days, three hours at a time. And at the end he shall with bared head ask pardon of God." Columbus, Christopher Corwin, Thomas 152 WIT. WISDOM AND FOIBLES That Filippo Brunelleschi, a sculptor (1377 service.... [The next day] I have not 1446), furnished the hint to Columbus for bought another watch. I no longer need one. the story on which rests part of his fame, -BARONESS DE NOLDE, "Madame de Staël for Brunelleschi "proposed to all the mas and Benjamin Constant," quoting letters of ters, foreigners and compatriots, that he who Constant. could make an egg stand upright on a piece “She [an Angora cat] was his great pet," of smooth marble should be appointed to said my hostess (the widow of Constant]; build the cupola [of the Duomo, Florence), "she attended him in the morning before he since in doing that his genius should be made got up; she followed him into his study after manifest. They took an egg accordingly and breakfast; she played or she reposed there all those masters did their best to make it when she liked; and one day, when he was ex- stand upright, but none discovered the pected to make an important speech in the method of doing so. Wherefore Filippo, be- Chamber of Deputies, his friends, finding ing told that he might make it stand himself, that he was absent after his time from the took it daintily into his hand, gave the end arena, came to seek him at this house and, of it a blow upon the plane of the marble, and going into his study, saw him quietly reading made it stand upright. Beholding this, the some book, which evidently had nothing to do artists loudly protested, exclaiming that they with the matter in hand; and when they told could all have done the same; but Filippo him that everybody was waiting, and that replied, laughing, that they might also know they came for him—'What can I do?' he how to construct the cupola if they had seen asked; 'look here; there's my cat sleeping in the 'model and design.”—GEORGIO VASARI, the sun on the papers I have prepared for "Life of Filippo Brunelleschi." (2) That the my speech; and till she wakes how can I above is the only way to make an egg stand drag her off ?'”-New Monthly Magazine, on its small end. (3) That nearly every egg July, 1834. may be made to stand on its large end, if it be held in that position a short time-long CORWIN, Thomas, 1794-1865. American enough to permit the yolk to ascend to the statesman. small end, thus lowering the center of gravity, He once told me that he owed all his suc- and (4) that this method is not near as cess in life to the fact that as a country boy clumsy as the Brunelleschi-Columbus method.) in Ohio, while driving his father's cart down George Buechmann, "Gefluegelte Woerte," hill at daybreak, he fell asleep and was jolted traces the story so told of Brunelleschi to a off his seat, breaking his leg. During the Spanish phrase, “Johnnie's egg" (el huevo weeks of enforced seclusion that followed he de Juanelo), and says that Benzoni in his taught himself to read and developed a stu- “History of the New World” was the first to dious turn of mind, which, his leg having been transfer the story to Columbus.-Notes and permanently weakened by the accident, led Queries, June 18, 1910. him to seek a situation in a lawyer's office.- CONSTANT. Benjamin de Rebecque. 1767- | Sara Y. STEVENSON, "Maximilian in Mexico.” 1830. French statesman. Corwin's opponent in this race was the It is curious to notice how much value then incumbent, Governor Wilson Shannon. women attach to even the most foolish acts During one of his trips from one appoint- of men who are interested in them. It was ment to another Corwin and the wife of agreed between us, to avoid compromising Shannon were fellow passengers in a public her, I should never remain at Madame de stage-coach. They had never met and were Staël's house after midnight. Whatever unknown to each other. Mrs. Shannon had might be the charm I found in our conversa no escort, but carried only her infant boy in tion, and my passionate desire not to break her arms. The remainder of the passengers it off, I was obliged to yield to this firm reso. consisted of Corwin's friends, who made the lution. But this evening, the time having round of the state with him, and who were seemed shorter than usual, I took out my likewise ignorant of the rival candidate's bet- watch to prove that the hour of our departure ter half. They were not long left in blissful had not yet arrived. But, the inexorable ignorance, for the lady, aroused by their free hands showing the contrary, I dashed the use of “hard cider" sentiments, soon gave instrument of my condemnation to the them to understand in very plain English ground. What folly! "How absurd you that she was a good "locofoco," and, more- are!" cried Madame de Staël. But I saw a over, the “wife of Governor Shannon to hidden smile through her reproaches. De boot!” This announcement was rather start- cidedly, this broken watch will do me great | ling to the gentlemen. Corwin was the first 153 , Thomas OF THE GREAT CorwinColumbus, Christopher to recover his composure and take advantage the serious charge was made against his op- of the situation. Expressing himself delight- ponent of habitually sleeping in a night- ed at having met her, he placed himself be shirt; then he began to have hopes of elec- side Mrs. Shannon and at once became very tion, feeling confident that the Jacksonian attentive to her. He told her of his acquain democracy would not be united in the support tance with her husband, spoke in highly com of a man who was too good to sleep in the plimentary terms of his character and public shirt he wore in the daytime. No allusion career, and expressed his undoubted admira to this charge in this canvass is to be found tion of the man. The lady was charmed and in the files of the Lebanon newspaper which begged several times to know the name of supported Mr. Corwin, but the story was her new friend. Corwin found means to doubtless not entirely without foundation.- avoid answering that question. The lady JOSIAH MORROW, “Life of Thomas Corwin.” overlooked this evasion and told Corwin in It will be remembered that Corwin in confidence (loud enough, of course, to be the Senate in 1845 or 1846, arguing seriously heard by the hard cider men) that her hus- against the morality of the projected war band was certain of reelection that he was against Mexico, permitted his appreciation of not to be beaten by "that fellow, Tom Cor- broad humor to lead him into the extrava- win, who was nothing after all,” she added, gant expression, "If I were a Mexican, as I "but a wagon boy when young.” “And now am an American, I would welcome you with goes about the country," suggested Corwin, bloody hands to hospitable graves." A few "making himself ridiculous by driving a six years afterwards, when this expression had horse team, with a log cabin mounted on a been quoted by the newspapers until it had country wagon.” “And who they say is as become familiar as household words, Mr. Cor- black as the ace of spades,” chimed in the win was retained as counsel for a man lady. “Black, madam," exclaimed Corwin, charged with murder and who, he claimed, "black? Yes, black as the-I beg your par. had acted in self-defense. In closing his don—as I am.” Continuing the deception in speech to the jury Corwin pictured the con- a manner which kept his friends convulsed dition of his client as endeavoring to avoid with smothered laughter, Corwin took the the difficulty, portrayed the murdered man lady's baby in his arms, fondled and dandled as forcing it upon him, dogging his steps, de- it, calling it the "young governor," and car- nouncing him as a coward and at last threat- rying the heart of the mother by storm. At ening to strike him. “What," he exclaimed, length the lady reached her destination and “would you have done in such an emergency? informed Corwin so with a sigh of regret. What, sir,” turning to the prosecuting attor- The gallant but unknown candidate assisted ney, “would you have done?” “Done?” re- the Governor's lady to alight, took the child plied the attorney with great gravity- in his arms and carried it into the house. He "done? I should have welcomed him with saw the lady into the parlor and laid the in- bloody hands to a hospitable grave.” The fant flat on its back in her lap. Holding it jury was convulsed with laughter and Corwin there for a moment, he said, “My dear Mrs. lost his case.-Harper's Magazine, February, Shannon, I have laid the young governor flat 1866. on his back and I am going to serve the old governor the same way at the coming elec- When Senator Corwin was appointed tion. I ought to have told you before that | Secretary of the Treasury by President Fill- my name is Tom Corwin, who was nothing more, Clay called upon him with the request but a wagon boy, and who is pretty black, I that he should give the position of treasurer admit: Good-by," and before Mrs. Shannon of the department to his old, firm, true and could recover from her astonishment he was political friend, John Sloane, who for many gone. He did lay the “old governor" "flat on years ably represented a leading district in his back" but the latter returned the compli- Ohio in the lower house of Congress. The ment two years later.-Harper's Magazine, secretary declined to make the appointment June, 1867. which the great senator, with all his persua- sive powers and eloquence, urged upon him. In the later years of his life Tom Cor. The appointment still being refused, the great win sometimes amused his friends by telling Kentuckian said, “Tom, I never should have them of what he called “the night-shirt is. thought you could treat your old friend in sue," on which he was first elected to Con this style.” Grasping his old political leader gress. The story as he told it was that at by the hand, the secretary remarked, "My old the beginning of the campaign he had little friend, the reason why I said I could not or no hope of election, but he learned that make this appointment; was that I had al- Corwin, Thomas Crockett, David 154 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ready made it.” The Great Commoner, sir; my name is Tom Corwin." "Tom Cor- whose career was drawing to a close, burst win!” exclaimed Marshall; "excuse me, but into tears and with the remark, “Tom, God I thought you were a free negro."--Harper's bless you! I thank you for this last favor I | Magazine, February, 1866. shall ever ask," the conference closed.-Har. There are quite a number of stories told per's Magazine, January, 1875, quoting the about Corwin's dark complexion. The best Sacramento Daily Union. of them, perhaps, is to the effect that one of This of Tom Corwin by a Columbus cor the English capitalists who visited this coun- respondent: Some one asked Mr. Corwin if try with Sir Morton Peto in 1865, on being he had heard a certain story of Lewis D. introduced to Corwin, asked him "if his tribe Campbell's. “Was it about himself ?” in was at peace with the whites."-Harper's quired Corwin. “No; I believe not.” “Well, Magazine, June, 1867. then, I never heard it,” said Mr. Corwin When I was quite a young man I went gravely.--Harper's Magazine, December, 1868. down the river to New Orleans on a flat boat. His very dark complexion was often I remained in that rather lively city for a made the subject of jokes by Corwin and his couple of weeks, seeing what was worth look- friends. Thomas F. Marshall, of Kentucky, ing at, until, my money being about spent, I ... once told an adventure he had with bethought myself of returning. But one Mr. Corwin at Lebanon, Ohio, Mr. Corwin's thing I had not seen, which I was told was place of residence. Marshall had stopped at one of the inevitable sights of the place. I Lebanon over night and had registered him must go to a quadroon ball. So, dressed in self at the hotel as "Mr. Marshall of Ken my best clothes, I called for a ticket to the tucky.” While sitting in the public room in ball and was repulsed with the declaration, the evening he noticed a neatly dressed, dark "Colored folks not admitted.”—Harper's colored man enter the hall and, approaching Magazine, January, 1874. the register, begin to read it. When he On several occasions--as he used to re- reached Marshall's name he read it aloud and late with great glee-he was supposed to be asked the clerk if Mr. Marshall was in the of African descent. “There is no need of my hotel. The clerk replied by pointing him to working,” he said, “for whenever I cannot the gentleman in question. The dark-col- support myself in Ohio, all I should have to ored man approached Marshall, saluted him do would be to cross the river, give myself very respectfully and asked if he belonged up to a Kentucky negro-trader, be taken to the Lexington family of Marshalls. Mar- South, and sold for a field hand.”—The At- shall was, as he expressed it afterwards, lantic Monthly, July, 1880. somewhat put out by the familiar manner of the colored gentleman, but answered civilly To a young speaker Mr. Corwin gave the that he did. The colored man was delighted advice: “Never make people laugh. If you to hear it and to meet him. “I had,” he said, would succeed in life, you must be solemn, "the honor and pleasure of serving with solemn as an ass. All the great monuments Thomas A. Marshall from 1831 to 1835.” Mr. are built over solemn asses.”—JOSIAH MOR- Marshall, thinking he had met one of the old | ROW, “Life of Thomas Corwin.” family servants who had run away from Ken- The late Tom Corwin, of Ohio, a man of tucky to freedom in Ohio, was about to ply genius and infinite humor, when lecturing him with questions, but found no opportunity me for my disposition to joke with a crowd, of getting in a word edgeways. The colored said: “Don't do it, my boy. You should al- man asked in rapid succession after various ways remember that the crowd looks up to members of the family, spoke feelingly and the ringmaster and down on the clown. The familiarly of old Humphrey Marshall, the clown is the more clever fellow of the two, head of the Kentucky Marshall family, and but he is despised. If you would succeed in at last asked if the gentleman was acquainted life, you must be solemn, solemn as an ass. with Mr. Henry Clay. On Marshall replying All the great monuments on earth have been in the affirmative the colored gentleman be- built over solemn asses.”—DONN PIATT, The gan to tell, in a voice intended for a little North American Review, December, 1886. crowd of listeners who had gathered round, some reminiscences of Henry Clay, one of Mr. Corwin, with all his success at the which began with the remark, “When I was bar, before the people and in Congress, re- in Congress with Mr. Clay- " "You in garded his life as a failure. We were riding Congress with Mr. Clay?" interrupted Mar- | together one sunny morning in the summer of shall-"you in Congress?" "Yes, sir; yes, | 1860, when he turned and remarked of a 155 Corwin, Thomas Crockett, David OF THE GREAT speech he had made the evening before: "It Lawrence county, Tennessee. At the appoint- was very good, indeed, but in bad style. ed time there was a goodly number of coun- Never make people laugh. I see that you cul. try people present. Our hero was on hand tivate that. It is easy and captivating but early and, according to his custom, he, for in the long run death to the speaker.” “Why, an hour or so before taking the stand, amused Mr. Corwin, you are the last man living I the "boys” by telling yarns, etc. In the expected such an opinion from.” “Certainly; crowd of men who were thus enjoying Davy's because you have not lived as long as I have. eccentricities there was a good-natured but Do you know, young man, that the world has rather verdant country chap, about twenty- contempt for the man who entertains it! one. He was clad in the plainest homespun One must be solemn-solemn as an ass--never -copperas pants and coarse cotton shirt. In say anything that is not uttered with the striking contrast with this unpretending cos- greatest gravity, to win respect. The world tume he wore a brand-new fur hat; and the looks up to the teacher and down upon the peculiar manner in which he bore himself clown. Yet, in nine cases out of ten, the clown under this covering showed that he was not is the better fellow of the two.” “We who only very proud of it, but that it was the laugh may well be content if we are as suc first article of the kind he had ever been the cessful as you have been.” “You think so, master of. Crockett, at the conclusion of a and yet if you were to consult an old fellow hearty laugh at one of his stories, took occa- named Thomas Corwin he would tell you sion to compliment the new fur hat of our that he considers himself the worst used man friend. “And now, Jim,” said Davy (he had in existence; that he has been slighted, heard the chap addressed by that familiar abused, neglected; and all for a set of fel name), "what would you think if I were to lows who look wise and say nothing.” Mr. say that I could take that hat, cut it into Corwin uttered this with much feeling and two pieces and then put it together so that we have no doubt but that he expressed what it would be as perfect as ever ?” “Oh, you he believed to be the net purport and upshot couldn't do anything of the kind,” replied of his whole life.—Harper's Magazine, March, the countryman. “I'll bet you a quart of 1866. whiskey on it,” said Crockett. "Done,” said the proprietor of the fur hat. Hereupon CROCKETT, David, 1786-1836. American Davy took the hat and with his pocket knife soldier and congressman. cut directly through the brim and the crown, "Make room for Colonel Crockett,” said the dividing it in twain. Then, taking the half usher at the White House, one evening, when of the hat in each hand, he exposed the di- the famous congressman from the backwoods vided chapeau to the spectators, in order that presented himself with a number of callers. there should be no mistake about the matter. “Colonel Crockett makes room for himself," "You see, gentlemen," he said, "that there is was the exclamation of the member as he no cheating. You see that the hat is cut clear strode into the room.-EDWARD S. ELLIS, open.” “Yes,” they all responded. The crowd "Life of David Crockett.” looked on with intense anxiety to see how this thing was to end; most of them, how- Many years ago the famous Davy Crock- ever, knowing from Crockett's character, ett and Governor MacArthur, one of the first that he would come out victorious and give governors of Ohio, were in a menagerie at them a good laugh. Our green country friend, Louisville, Kentucky. Colonel Crockett, look- meanwhile, was already at the prospect of ing at a large baboon, remarked to his com- winning his wager. Crockett then commenced panion that there was a wonderful likeness between the brute and their friend, Judge W. blowing his breath upon those parts of the divided hat which he proposed to reunite Looking around at the moment he saw his and at the same time uttering some mysteri- honor, the judge, standing between McAr- ous words and attempting some peculiar thur and himself. Taking off his hat and, manipulations, which he contended were to looking first at Judge W. and then at the accomplish the magical work. All at once baboon, he said, "Gentlemen, I owe one of he ceased his efforts and, looking round upon you an apology, but I do not know which."- the crowd, said in a very serious tone, “Gen- Harper's Magazine, November, 1867. tlemen, upon my word, I have forgotten how. Crockett was on an electioneering tour. Jim has won the whiskey." Everybody in- It was about that time in the summer when stantly saw the point of the joke and the the farmers had "laid by” their crops. Due | roar of laughter that followed can be more notice had been given that Crockett would easily imagined than described. As for poor speak at Lawrenceburg, a small village in. | Jim, he stood perfectly amazed at his own, Crockett, David Cromwell, Oliver 156 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES H stupidity in not foreseeing that a quart of CROMWELL, Oliver, 1599-1658. English old rye would be but a poor compensation for statesman and soldier. his new fur hat.-Harper's Magazine, October, Sir Thomas Cave ended a few observations 1859. by recounting a visit of Queen Caroline to the Those were the days when the legislature pictures of the sovereigns of England, painted convened at seven o'clock in the morning and by Richardson. Observing the portrait of a when the neighbors of Davy Crockett so dis plain-looking individual between Charles I. dained the trammels of custom as to name and Charles II., she asked the painter if he their girls Tom, Jack and Harry and their called that personage a king. “No, madam," boys Mary, Jane and Susan.-JAMES PARTON, answered Richardson, "he is no king; but it “Life of Andrew Jackson." is good for kings to have him among them as During his first term in Congress he at- a memento."-DORAN's notes to the “Last Journals of Horace Walpole.” tended a dinner given by President John Quincy Adams, of which he gave the follow- We have the authority of the Amsterdam ing account: “When we went in to dinner I Novorscher—unfortunately no other, I think walked round a long table looking for some- —that Oliver Cromwell usually said the fol- thing I liked. At last I took my seat just lowing grace before meals: “Some people beside a fat goose and I helped myself to as have food, but no appetite; others have appe- much as I wanted. But I hadn't took three tite, but no food. I have both. The Lord be bites when I looked away up the table at a praised.”—Notes and Queries, July 20, 1889. man called Tash [attaché). He was talking French to a woman on t'other side of the It is asserted that Mr. White became a table. He dodged his head and she dodged suitor to the fair lady and was extremely well hers and they got to drinking wine across received. “As Jerry," says the historian the table. If they didn't I wish I may be [Noble's "Memoirs"], "had those requisites shot. But when I looked back again, my which generally please the fair sex, he won plate was gone, goose and all. So I just cast the affections of the daughter of Cromwell; my eyes down to t’other end of the table, | but as nothing of this sort could happen with- and, sure enough, I seed a white man walk. out the knowledge of the watchful father, ing off with my plate. Says I, 'Hello, mister, who had his spies in every place and about bring back my plate.' He fetched it back in every person, it soon reached his ears. ... a hurry, as you may suppose, and when he Oliver ordered the informer to observe and sat it down before me how do you think it watch them narrowly and promised that upon was? Licked as clean as my hand. If it substantial proof of the truth of what he wasn't I wish I may be shot. Says he, had declared he should be as amply rewarded 'What'll you have, sir?' and says I, “You may as Jerry should be severely punished. It was say that after stealing my goose,' and he not long before the informer acquainted his began to laugh. If he didn't I wish I may highness that the chaplain was at that mo- be shot. Then says I, ‘Mister, laugh if you ment with the lady; and, upon hastening to please, but I don't half like such tricks upon his daughter's apartment, he discovered the travelers. If I do I wish I may be shot.' I unfortunate Jerry upon his knees, kissing her then filled my plate with bacon and greens, ladyship’s hand. "What is the meaning of and whenever I looked up or down the table this posture before my daughter Frances?' I held my plate with my left hand. If I The chaplain, with great presence of mind, didn't I wish I may be shot. When we were replied, “May it please your highness, I have all done eating, they cleared everything off a long time courted that young gentlewoman the table and took away the tablecloth and there, my lady's woman, and cannot prevail; what do you think—there was another table I was therefore humbly praying her ladyship cloth under it. If there wasn't I wish I may to intercede for me.' Oliver, turning to the be shot. Then I saw a man coming along waiting woman, said, 'What is the meaning carrying a great glass thing with small of this? He is my friend and I expect you handles below, full of little glass cups, with should treat him as such.' She, desiring something in them that looked good to eat. nothing more, replied with a low courtesy, Says I, ‘Mister, bring that here. Thinks I, If Mr. White intends me that honor I should 'I'll taste 'em first. They were mighty sweet not oppose him.' Upon this Oliver said, and good and so I took six of them. If I Well, call Goodwin; this business shall be didn't I wish I may be shot.”-ARMISTEAD C. done presently, before I go out of the room.' GORDON, “William Fitzhugh Gordon," copy Jerry could not retreat. Goodwin came and right, The Neale Publishing Company. | they were instantly married, the bride at the 157 Crockett, David Cromwell, oliver OF THE GREAT same time receiving five hundred pounds from from house to house and immediately every the Protector. Mr. White lived with his wife, door was shut against the noisy bully. The bestowed on him by the hero of Worcester, | young women, too, who had reason to dread more than fifty years. Oldmixon says he his lively manners, are said to have care- knew them both well and heard the story told fully avoided his approach. In fact, Oliver, when they were present. Jerry seemed not to who had been what one of his historians calls relish the joke even after the lapse of half a an "unlucky boy," turned out a wild and century."-Rev. M. RUSSELL, "Life of Oliver rather dissipated youth and thereby afforded Cromwell." some occasion to those who afterwards smart- ed under his government to assail the purity Oliver Cromwell, having some years be- of his juvenile character.- Rev. M. RUSSELL, fore won thirty pounds of one Mr. Calton at play, meeting him accidentally, he desired "Life of Cromwell.” him to come home with him and to receive Eccentricities his money, telling him that he had got it of Philip Warwick relates, on the authority him by indirect and unlawful means, and that it would be a sin in him to detain it any of Dr. Simcott, who was Cromwell's physician, that “his patient was a most splenetic man, longer; and did really pay the gentleman the said thirty pounds back again.-Notes and and had fancies about the cross that stood in the town, and that he had been called up Queries, April 28, 1855. to him at midnight and such unseasonable Youth hours, very many times, upon a strong fancy We are assured, even by friendly annal- which made him believe that he was dying." ists, that on one occasion, when lying in bed -REV. M. RUSSELL, "Life of Cromwell.” in a melancholy and musing frame of mind, Before his memorable victories at Dun- a gigantic figure drew aside the curtains and bar and Worcester, his eyes were observed to told him that he should be the greatest man sparkle, his frame became agitated and he in England, but did not mention the word burst out into strange and violent fits of “king." Although he was told of the folly and laughter. At no time, in fact, was he him- wickedness of such a story, he persisted in self altogether free from nervous excitability, the assertion that it was founded on truth, or fanatical frenzy, which he knew so well for which, at the particular desire of his to excite and direct in others.—Rev. M. Rus- father, he was flogged by Dr. Beard. Not- / SELL, "Life of Cromwell,” citing Warwick's withstanding this harsh usage, he continued "Memoirs." sometimes to relate the occurrence to his When he threw ink in Marten's face from uncle, Sir Thomas Steward, who told him the pen with which he had signed Charles's that it was traitorous to entertain such execution, he yielded to that morbid quality thoughts. Heath says it was a dream; others of his nature which hurried him from one ex- maintain it was an apparition; but Noble admits that "Cromwell mentioned it often treme to another, from a racked intensity of painful thought to the playfulness of a child when he was in the height of his glory.” It or an idiot. It was the effect of that hysteri- is worthy of note, too, that Lord Clarendon cal irritation which leads indifferently to a takes notice of this vision. fit of laughter or to a paroxysm of sobbing. The taverns were the chief places of his There is an odd instance of this mixture of resort; but his rash and boisterous behavior the serious and the ludicrous recorded by Dr. prevented his equals from consorting with Hutton and preserved in the Harleian Mis- him, for he could ill brook contradiction at cellany. “At the marriage of Lady Frances any time, and much less now, when he had Cromwell to Mr. Rich, the grandson and heir not learned, or did not think it worth while of the Earl of Warwick, the Protector, whose to practise, deceit. He was therefore obliged mind at that moment was far from being at to take up with less creditable companions, ease, amused himself by throwing the sack- who, if they did not fall into his sentiments, posset among the ladies to spoil their clothes, were sure to feel the weight of his arm and which they took as a favor, as also wet sweet- received a severe discipline from his usual meats; and daubed all the stools where they weapon, the quarter-staff. It is laid to his were to sit with wet sweetmeats; and put off charge, moreover, that he occasionally neg. Rich's wig and would have thrown it into lected to pay his reckoning and, of course, the fire, but did not, yet he sat upon it." very soon became unpopular among the ale ... Everyone has heard of his rude fun- wives of Huntingdon. When they saw himning with the soldiers; encouraging them to in the street, they communicated the alarm, throw burning coals into one another's boots Cromwell, ouver 153 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and to steal away a dinner prepared for the officers, at the very moment the latter were to sit down to eat it. He took great pleasure, in short, in what is called a practical jest.- REV. M. RUSSELL, "Life of Cromwell." At the marriage of his daughter to Rich, in November, 1657, the Protector threw about Back-posset among all the ladies, to soil their rich clothes, which they took as a favor, and also wet sweetmeats; and daubed all the stools, where they were to sit, with wet sweet- meats, and pulled off Rich's perruque and would have thrown it into the fire, but did not, yet sat upon it. ... One of the four of the Protector's buffoons made his lip black like a beard, whereat the knight drew his knife, missing very little of killing the fel- low.-Notes and Queries, February 19, 1859, quoting Richard Symonds, British Museum manuscript. In the War Against His King There is a well authenticated anecdote of Cromwell. On a certain occasion, when his troops were about to cross a river to attack the enemy, he concludes an address ... with these words: "Put your trust in God, but mind you keep your powder dry.”— HAYES's "Ballads of Ireland.” “Put your trust in God, my boys, and keep your powder dry.”—COLONEL BLACKER, “Oliver's Advice." In the civil war my grandfather, Sir William Smyth, was governor of Hillsdon House, near Buckingham, where the king had a small garrison. The place was besieged and taken by Cromwell. But the officers stipulated to march out with their arms, bag. gage, etc. As soon as they were without the gate one of Cromwell's soldiers snatched off Sir William Smyth's hat. lle immediately complained to Cromwell of the fellow's inso- lence and breach of the capitulation, “Sir," says Cromwell, "if you can point out the man, or I can discover him, I promise you he shall not go unpunished. In the meantime (tak- ing off a new beaver, which he had on his head) be pleased to accept this hat instead of your own.”—DR. WILLIAM KING, "Anec- dotes of His Own Times.” "No, Alice,” said the old knight, as he fondly played with the long silken tresses that flowed down his daughter's graceful neck, even to her waist, “no; the king-killer shall never beard honester men than himself. Let him come with his Roundhead pack, an' he will; but the guns of Curraghmore shall give him no welcome. When he hears their voices, methinks it will be less pleasant music. The leathern doublets will be scattered like the wind-driven leaves of autumn, or else- "Or else, dear father, Kilmeаden's fate will be ours and our old home will have its ruins upturned by the plow-share.” "Kilmeаden perished gloriously," replied the lord of Curraghmore, “although the traitor deemed he consigned him to a disgraceful death. But our good cousin should have died in his trenches. If no hand, whether friend or foe, would have dealt the kindly thrust, his own might have done it. He had terminated his work befittingly, and had died as a sol- dier should have died.” Such was one of the many conversations the knightly owner of Curraghmore had with his favorite child, and all others were of the same import. To her entreaty to save himself by submitting, he evermore opposed his invincible determina- tion to die, if he could not live free. To her suggestion that he should feign his acknowl- edgment to the Parliament, he simply re- plied that falsehood was unworthy of his birth and lineage. To her mention of Crom- well's vengeance he hurled his defiance at the usurper. The time of decision came; the Commonwealth soldiery were in their neigh- borhood and scouts came in to report the probable attack of the castle on the morrow. The ready-witted maiden perceived that safety or destruction depended on her own conduct. Under pretense of inspecting the lower works of the castle, she brought her father with her into the prison chambers, where she had previously laid provisions and, barring him in with her own fair hands, she whispered to him that she would thus avert the consequences of his ill-timed hardihood. She then set open the castle gates and on Cromwell's approach went forth to meet him and placed in his hands the keys. When questioned about her father she replied (and with truth) that he had often spoken with her about the English general's approach and had been anxious to meet him, but that he was unwillingly absent and doubtless at that moment was chafing with indignation at the accident which detained him. For herself, she said, she had taken on her to make the most unreserved submission of the place to the Parliament, and therefore claimed con- firmation of the property and protection at all times, if necessary. Cromwell, thus baf- fled, was constrained to sign the proper let. ters. Curraghmore was thus secured to this branch of the La Poers, and in our day is the property of their descendant and representa- tive, the high-spirited and patriotic Marquis of Waterford.—J. BERNARD BUBKE, “Anec. dotes of the Aristocracy." 159 Cromwell, Oliver OF THE GREAT Cromwell, approaching near to the body might hear him) that when the whole army of the Scotch army, one that knew the Lord at Marston Moor was in a fair possibility to General fired a carbine at him, but timor be utterly routed and a great part of it wag ously, which, he seeing, called out to him running, he saw the body of horse of that that if he had been one of his soldiers he brigade standing still and, to him, seeming should have been cashiered for firing that doubtful as to which way to charge, backward distance.—“Perfect Politician,” 1660. or forward: when he came up to them in Oliver Cromwell, while carrying on war great passion, reviling them with the name of poltroons and cowards, and asked them if in Scotland, was riding near Glasgow at the they would stand still and see the day lost? head of a body of horse. A Scotch soldier, planted on a high wall, took the opportunity Whereupon Cromwell showed himself and in to fire at him and missed him. Oliver, with- a pitiful voice said, "Major-General, what out slackening or drawing rein, turned round shall I do?” he, begging pardon for what he and said: "Fellow, if any trooper of mine had said, not knowing he was there, towards had missed such a mark he should have had whom he knew his distance as his superior a hundred lashes.” Ile did not even order the officer, told him, “Sir, if you charge not, all man to be seized and he made his escape. is lost.” Cromwell answered that he “was Join PINKERTON (H. Bennet), "Treasury of wounded and not able to charge,” his great Wit,” 1786. wound being a little burn in the neck by the accidental going off behind him of one of his Thus the mighty Oliver bore Rupert to soldier's pistols. Then Crawford desired him the earth (Marston Moor) and Rupert it to go off the field and sending one away with was who then and there gave him the name him, who very readily followed wholesome of Ironside.-JAMES K. HOSMER, “Life of Sir advice, led them on himself, which was not Henry Vane," citing Gardiner's "Great Civil the duty of his place, and as little for Crom- War.” well's honor as it proved to be much for the Previous to the battle of Marston Moor advantage of his and his party's pernicious Lieutenant General Cromwell had sent out designs. spies to reconnoiter the king's forces under I have heard a parallel story of his command of Prince Rupert. Not confiding valor from another person, Colonel Dalbier, in their report as to the disposition of the not inferior either in quality or reputation enemy and determined to gain personal in- to Major-General Crawford, who told me that formation, unknown to any of his officers he when Basinghouse was stormed, Cromwell, procured the habit of a farmer, with which instead of leading on his men, stood at a having equipped himself, he mounted a cart great distance off, out of gunshot, behind a horse, takes a circuit of the camp and rec. hedge.-DENZIL LORD HOLLIS, "Memoirs." onnoiters the king's forces from every con The following anecdote is related by Dr. venient point of view, but, being observed by George Hicks. A gentleman came to Oliver some sentinels, troopers were sent out to take to beg a lock of Charles's hair for an honor. him prisoner. On coming suddenly upon him, able lady. “Ah, no, sir," saith Cromwell, they accosted him roughly; Oliver, pretend- | bursting into tears, “that must not be; for ing deafness, asked with the greatest tran I swore to him, while he was living, that not quillity, "for what purpose those brave men I a hair of his head should perish."-JAMES were armed.” On being informed that they GRANGER, “Biographical Dictionary," quoting were the king's and that the opposite troops "Some Discourses on Dr. Burnett and Dr. belonged to the Parliament, “What,” said Tillotson." Oliver, “have they differed then?” The sim- As Ruler of England plicity of the question excited laughter among the troopers and Oliver was permitted Noll sent one Major Claytor of the army into Ireland (as Cl. told Mr. Crips) with to proceed to his camp without further moles- tation.--Notes and Queries, August 1, 1874, great pretense of love to him and for his pre- quoting "book of newspaper cuttings collected ferment, and told him that ... he had a ten- about 1788-1792.” der affection for him; and took him by the shoulder and wept over him, giving him let- I have several times heard it from ters to his son Harry in Ireland, telling him Crawford's own mouth (and I think I shall those letters would do his business. Claytor not be mistaken if I say that Cromwell him- goes and, having at Chester a mind to open self has heard it from him, for he once said the letters, found that they were express or- it aloud in Westminster Hall when Crom- ders to hang him. Then he skulked up and well passed by him, with a design that he down, living private and obscure.-RICHARD Cromwell, ouvor Curran, John 160 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES SYMONDS, British Museum manuscript, quoted who was then a young man, pressed in among in Notes and Queries, February 19, 1859. the crowd and said he never heard a man This address is prefixed to the celebrated speak so well in his life as Cromwell did on this occasion. When they were all met he pamphlet entitled “Killing no Murder," writ- ordered the Jews to speak for themselves. ten by Silas Titus, a man of wit, and se- After that he turned to the clergy, who in- cretly published in 1657 under the fictitious name of William veighed much against the Jews as a cruel Allen. It was eagerly bought up by the royalists at the high price and cursed people. Cromwell, in his answer to the clergy, called them "men of God," and of five shillings. The writer exerted all his desired to be informed by them whether it rhetoric to persuade the people to assassinate was not their opinion that the Jews were the usurper, and, as Mr. Wood gravely says, "offers Oliver many convincing and satisfy- one day to be called into the church? He then desired to know whether it was not ing reasons why he should kill himself, and every Christian man's duty to forward that very fairly gives him his choice of hanging, good end all he could ? ... He then turned drowning or pistoling himself; shows him the absolute necessity of it, the honor he would to the merchants, who spoke much of their falseness and meanness, and that they would gain by it and, in a word, uses such argu- get their trade from them. “ 'Tis true," says ments as might have prevailed upon anybody but a hardened rebel. Cromwell was exceed- Cromwell, “they are the meanest and most ingly terrified at the publication of this despised of all people.” He then fell into abusing the Jews most heartily and, after he spirited piece, and was, as some imagine, al. had said everything that was contemptible most prevailed with to take the author's and low of them, “Can you really be afraid," advice from a dread of falling by some ig. said he, “that this mean, despised people noble hand."-JAMES GRANGER, “Biographi- should be able to prevail in trade and credit cal Dictionary of England.” over the merchants of England, the noblest The Protector coming late at night to and most esteemed merchants of the whole Thurlo's office and beginning to give him di world ?” Thus he went on until he had si- rections about something of great importance lenced them too and so was at liberty to grant and secrecy, he took notice that Mr. More what he desired to the Jews.—REV. JOSEPH land, one of the clerks, afterwards Sir Sam SPENCE, “Anecdotes," quoting Lockier, Dean uel Moreland, was in the room, which he had of Peterborough, "who had this from Sir Ry. not observed before, and, fearing that he caut himself.” might have overheard their discourse, though Oliver Cromwell was one day engaged in he pretended to be asleep upon his desk, he a warm argument with a lady on the subject drew a poinard, which he always carried un- der his coat, and was going to despatch More- of oratory-in which she maintained that land upon the spot, if Thurlo had not with eloquence could only be acquired by those who made it their study in early youth and their great entreaties prevailed with him to de- practise afterwards. The Lord Protector, on sist, assuring him that Moreland had sat up the contrary, maintained that there was elo- two nights together and was certainly fast quence which sprang from the heart, since asleep.-DR JAMES WELWOOD, “Memoirs," when that was deeply interested in the at- 1718. tainment of any object it never failed to Oliver Cromwell . . . caused the po supply a fluency and richness of expression litical events which he intended to bring which would in the comparison render vapid about to be inserted in the almanac before the studied speeches of the most celebrated hand and the astrologer he employed for the orators. ... It happened that some days purpose acquired in consequence a consider afterwards this lady was thrown into a state able reputation.—The Month, July, 1899. bordering on distraction by the unexpected The Jews had better success with Oliver arrest and imprisonment of her husband, who Cromwell, when they desired to have a syna- was conducted to the Tower as a traitor to gogue in London. They offered him, when the government. The agonized wife flew to Protector, sixty thousand pounds for that the Lord Protector's, rushed through his privilege. Cromwell appointed them a day guards, threw herself at his feet, and with for giving them his answer. He then sent the most pathetic eloquence pleaded for some of the most powerful among the clergy the life and innocence of her injured hus- and some of the chief merchants in the city | band. His highness maintained a severe brow, to be present at the meeting. It was in a till the petitioner, overpowered by the excess long gallery at Whitehall. Sir Paul Rycaut, of her feelings and the energy with which she 161 Cromwell, Oliver OF THE GREAT Curran, John had expressed them-paused--then his stern laughed at their neiglubor's picture and pre- countenance relaxed into a smile and, extend tended not to recognize their own, were out- ing to her an order for the immediate libera rageously scandalized at such familiarity tion of her husband, he said: “I think all who with the clergy. Religion, as on a larger have witnessed this scene will vote on my theater, was made the scapegoat and by one side of the question in the dispute between and all sentence of banishment was passed us the other day.”—London Literary Gazette, | upon Mr. Punch. He was honorable, however, 1818, quoting from a manuscript by the au in his concealment of the substitute, whose thor of "John Sobieski, King of Poland.” prudence deprecated such dangerous celebrity. CURRAN, John Philpot, 1750-1817. Irish Curran, in after times, used often to declare that he never produced such an effect upon statesman and lawyer. any audience as in the humble character of I still continue to read ten hours every day Mr. Punch's man.—PHILIPS. -seven at law and three at history and the general principles of politics, and that I may Curran had told me with infinite humor have time enough I rise at half past four. I of an adventure between him and a mastiff have contrived a machine after the manner of when he was a boy. He had heard somebody an hour-glass, which perhaps you may be say that any person throwing the skirts of curious to know, which wakens me regularly his coat over his head, stooping low, holding at that hour. Exactly over my head I have out his arms and creeping along backward, suspended two vessels of tin, one above the might frighten the fiercest dog and put him other. When I go to bed, which is always at to flight. He accordingly made the attempt ten, I pour a bottle of water into the upper on the miller's dog in the neighborhood, who vessel, in the bottom of which is a hole of would never let the boys rob the orchard, but such size as to let the water pass through so found to his sorrow that he had a dog to deal as to make the inferior reservoir overflow in with who did not care which end of a boy six hours and a half. I have had no small went foremost, so long as he could get a good trouble in proportioning these vessels and I bite out of it. "I pursued the instructions," was still more puzzled for a while how to said Curran, "and, as I had no eyes save confine my head so as to receive the drop, but those in front, fancied the mastiff was in full I have at length succeeded.--CHARLES PHIL retreat, but I was confoundedly mistaken; for IPS, “Curran and His Contemporaries," quot at the very moment when I thought myself ang Curran. victorious, the enemy attacked my rear and, At this period a circumstance occurred having got a reasonably good mouthful out which he delighted to relate, as he comically of it, was fully prepared to take another be- fore I was rescued.”-SIR JONAH BARRINGTON, said it first proved his aptitude for oratory. “Personal Sketches of His Own Time." The keeper of a street puppet show arrived at Newmarket, to the no small edification of "I'll commit you, sir," said the judge. the neighborhood, and the feats of Mr. Punch, "I hope you'll never commit a worse thing," and the eloquence of his man, soon super retorted Curran.-O'NEILL DAUNT, "Personal seded every other topic. At length, however, Recollections of O'Connell.” Mr. Punch's man fell ill and the whole estab- His adversary's case was clear and he lishment was threatened with immediate ruin. had not a tittle of evidence to oppose it; so, Little Curran, who had with his eyes and seeing a fellow in the last stages of intoxica- ears devoured the puppet show, and never missed the corner of its exhibition, proposed tion amongst the bystanders, he desired him himself to the manager as Mr. Punch's man. to be placed in the witness box and told the jury that the other side had made his only The offer was gladly accepted and for a time witness so drunk that he could not utter a the success of the substitute was quite mi- raculous. Crowds upon crowds attended every syllable. The jury (Irish) found for their performance; Mr. Punch's man was the uni- favorite "counselor.”—Quarterly Review, De. versal admiration. At length, before one of cember, 1840. the most crowded audiences, he began to ex While Mr. Curran was once engaged in patiate upon village politics; he described a legal argument, his colleague, a gentleman the fairs, told the wake secrets, caricatured whose person was remarkably tall and slen- the audience; and, after disclosing every der, and who had originally intended to take amour and detailing every scandal, turned orders, stood behind him. “Then,” said Cur- with infinite ridicule upon the very priest of ran, turning to his colleague, “I can refer the parish. This was the signal for a gen- your lordship to a high authority, who was eral outcry. Every man and maid who had once intended for the church, though, in my Curran, John 162 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES opinion he was fitter for the steeple.”— I During one of the circuits, Curran was Albany Law Journal, August 6, 1870. dining with a brother advocate at a small inn kept by a respectable woman, who, to the He was engaged on behalf of a plain well ordering of her establishment, added a tradesman, a citizen of Dublin, who had been reputation of apt and keen reply, which some- ill-treated, where insult was added to injury, times supplies the place of wit. The dinner and where the man was horsewhipped, beaten had been well served, the wine was pro- down and falsely imprisoned. He complained nounced excellent, and it was proposed that through Mr. Curran to a court of justice and the hostess should be summoned to receive a jury listened to his tale of woe and suffer- their compliments on their good fare. The ings, which wanted not the coloring of the Christian name of this purveyor was Hon- imagination; it was most affectingly told by oria, a name of common occurrence in Ire- his counsel; he used no ornaments to dress land, but which is generally abbreviated to out the victim who had already suffered so that of Honor. Her attendance was prompt much. His appeals were deeply affecting, be- and Curran, after a brief eulogium upon the cause natural. He gave up to the jury the dinner, but especially the wine, filled a case of an innocent and oppressed man in bumper and proposed a toast, “Honor and terms which were directed to the heart; the Honesty." His auditor took the glass, and, jury and the audience were touched; but the with a peculiarly arch smile, said, “Our ab- client, who heard all, was so overpowered sent friends," and, having drank off the that he burst from a silence which he had been before noticed for, into a sudden ex- amended toast, she curtsied and withdrew.- Notes and Queries, September 6, 1851. This clamation, accompanied with tears, "Oh, anecdote, I beg to observe, is incorrectly rep- Lord, by the living God, all the counselor has resented, and surely presents to the reader told you is every word of it true, but till no adequate provocation for the sharp retort this moment I never knew I had been half so on him attributed to the hostess, on his offer- cruelly ill-treated."-WILLIAM O'REGAN, “Me- ing her a glass of wine. But the fact is that moir of John Philpot Curran.” the circumstance occurred, not at a small He was one evening sitting in a box at country inn, but in the city of Galway; nor the French Opera, between an Irish noble solely in company with a brother advocate, woman, whom he had accompanied there, and but at the general bar mess. The Connaught a very young French lady. The ladies soon circuit was not Curran's, who had been called manifested a strong desire to converse, but there specially, and who, having heard of the neither of them knew a word of the other's barmaid's ready wit, was determined to test language. Curran, of course, volunteered to it. Her name, I well recollect, was Honor interpret, or, in his own words, “to be the Slaven and her quick repartee to the not very carrier of the thoughts and accountable for delicate jokes practised on her by the gentle- their safe delivery." They went at it at men (?) of the bar had spread her fame be- once, with all the ardor and zest of the yond the province. Curran, however, was Irish and French nature combined, but their far superior to those whom she had foiled in interpreter took the liberty of substituting these too often unseemly combats and was his own thoughts for theirs and, instead of expected to prove that superiority in this remarks upon the dresses and the play, he contest. Among the accustomed toasts of introduced so many finely turned compli that time was a succession of three allitera- ments that the two ladies soon became fasci- tive ones, of which the last was of flagrant nated with each other. At last, their enthu indecency, and this Curran resolved should siasm becoming sufficiently great, the wily fall to Honor's turn to give in due rotation. interpreter, in conveying some innocent ques. Making her take her seat, with one inter- tion from his countrywoman, asked the posed between them, he began with the first, French lady "if she would favor her with a "Honor (directing himself to her) and Hon- kiss?” Instantly springing across the orator, esty," followed by “Love and Loyalty,” from she imprinted a kiss on each cheek of the his next neighbor; when, ordering a bumper, Irish lady, who was amazed at her sudden at- | he said, “Come, Honor, you know the next tack, and often afterwards asked Mr. Cur: toast; be not squeamish, and let us have it." ran, "What in the world could that French | “No, sir," replied she with an arch smile, girl have meant by such conduct in such a “but I will pledge you in your own toast, place?” He never let out the secret and the | Honor and Honesty, or your absent friends." Irish lady always thought French girls were These last words were uttered with special very ardent and sudden in their attachments. emphasis and in their provoked application -Harper's Magazine, May, 1856. well sustained the barmaid's reported char- 163 Curran, John OF THE GREAT acter; as, indeed, was promptly acknowledged | feel myself, when with Smith, in the situa- by Curran himself. I have more than once tion of poor Friday when he went on his heard similar retorts from her when thus knees to Robinson Crusoe's gun and prayed assailed.-Notes and Queries, November 15, it not to go off suddenly and shoot him."- 1851. THOMAS MOORE, “Life and Letters of Lord It was on the steps of this place (the Byron.” general post office in Dublin) that Curran He was also well known to Madame de and Lord — were standing, when the lat- Staël. ... He conversed with her and, ter, who had voted for the Union, as he though her face was by no means preposses- looked towards the late Parliament House, / sing, he described her as having the power of which was then in a forlorn state of mutila- | talking herself into a beauty. tion, observed, "How shocking our old Parlia- ; ment House looks, Curran." To which the 1 Of him [a man famous for his wit] Cur- witty barrister finely replied, “True, my lord, ran used pleasantly to remark, "Much as I it is usual for murderers to be afraid of regard him, I never hear his name mentioned ghosts.”—John Carr, "The Stranger in Ire without some hatred of him, when I consider land in 1805." the great number of good things he has ut- tered, all of which I myself might have said." During the temporary separation of Lord Avonmore and Curran, Egan, either wishing A brother barrister of his, remarkable for to pay his court to the chief baron, or really his perpetuity in dirty shirts (and for par- supposing that Curran meant to be offensive, simony] had set out from Cork for Dublin, espoused the judge's imaginary quarrel so with one shirt and one guinea, when Curran bitterly that a duel between the barristers remarked, "I will answer for it he will change was the consequence. They met and on the neither of them until he returns."—WILLIAM ground Egan complained that the disparity in 1 O’REGAN, "Memoirs of John Philpot Curran." their size gave his antagonist a manifest ad- vantage; "I might as well fire at a razor's The Lord Chief Justice [Russell of Killo- edge as at him," said Egan, “and he may hit wen] presided at the meeting of the Irish me as easily as a turf stack." "I'll tell you Literary Society in January last, when his what, Mr. Egan,” said Curran, his pistol in son, the Hon. Charles Russell, delivered a his hand, and Egan scowling at him under most interesting and carefully studied lecture brows that rivaled Lord Thurlow's, “I wish on “Curran.” In addressing the meeting at to take no advantage of you whatever; let the conclusion of the lecture, Lord Russell my size be chalked out upon your side and twitted the lecturer with having omitted from I am quite content that every shot that hits his many stories of the great Irish wit and outside of that mark should go for nothing." lawyer one which he (the Lord Chief Justice) It will readily be believed that such a con thought particularly interesting. “On one test was not very deadly; and, although the occasion," said Lord Russell, “Mr. Curran combatants fired at one another, the shots was engaged in a case before Lord Norbury were too aimless to produce much injury. and cited a law case which he contended elu- cidated a certain point. 'If,' said Lord Nor- One day at dinner the common toast “to bury, 'I could not obtain better law from my our absent friends” was given. Curran, as books than that I would burn them. And usual, sat beside Lord Avonmore, who was Curran remarked, 'I, my lord, should read immersed in one of his habitual reveries, al- together unconscious of what was passing. He them.'” That, said Lord Russell, was one of the wittiest retorts of Curran. But the Hon. maliciously aroused him: “Yelverton! Yel- verton! the host has just announced your Charles Russell was not a whit taken aback and on the conclusion of his father's speech health in very flattering terms; it is consid- said: “In preparing my lecture on Curran ered very cavalier in you not to have acknowledged it.” Up started the unsuspect- I took particular pains to verify all my facts and the reason I did not tell the story nar- ing Yelverton and it was not until after a very eloquent speech that he was apprized of rated by the chairman is that it is not true the hoax in which it had originated.- of Curran, but of another great lawyer, Mr. Sargent."--American Law Review, September- CHARLES PHILIPS'S “Curran and His Con- October, 1900, quoting the London Daily temporaries." Chronicle. [According to Charles Philips, Curran, in speaking of Baron Smith's “Curran and His Contemporaries," it was temper and the restraint he always found John Dunning, Baron Ashburton, who made himself under in his company, said, "I always this reply to Lord Mansfield.] Dana, Charles A. Davis, Jefferson 164 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES D DANA, Charles Anderson, 1819-1897. Amer- | member the way to blush. The only times I ican statesman and editor. have seen Mr. Dana blush have been when He sought and obtained close relations with something discourteous was said or done in the Chronotype and was formally employed his presence, too trivial to call for a direct by its owner and editor, Elizur Wright, to rebuke.”—EDWARD P. MITCHELL, McClure's read the exchanges, edit the news, and make Magazine, October, 1894. himself generally useful. It was also under- Coming into camp one night after a hard stood that during Wright's absence Dana day's ride, we found a strange officer at the should act as editor, but all without addi- camp-fire, Captain Ely S. Parker, a full- tional compensation. The newspaper was an blooded and well-educated Seneca Indian, who orthodox publication and was therefore a had been recently detailed at headquarters to great favorite with the Congregational minis- assist Colonel Rawlins and Captain Bowers ters of Massachusetts. As an evidence of the in the growing work of the adjutant-general's young writer's independence of thought, and department. Dana was duly introduced, but of his radical departure from the gloomy before taking off his side arms and making doctrines of Calvin, as well, perhaps, as an himself comfortable, he said to me aside: “I instance of his growing sense of humor, think I know that man's people and if he is Wright used to relate the following anec. a Seneca, as I think he is, I can speak his dote with evident satisfaction. On the occa- language. What do you think he would do sion of his temporary absence from the city if I were to address him in his own tongue?” his paper came out "mighty strong against As the gentleman was also a stranger to me, hell,” to the astonishment of the subscribers I could hardly venture an opinion, but as as well as the responsible editor. In refer- my own curiosity was aroused, I said at once, ring to this incident years after Dana had "Try it on and let us see.” Thereupon Dana, become a great editor, Mr. Wright said that without a perceptible pause for reflection, ad. it gave him a great deal of trouble at the dressed the captain in a well-sustained phrase time, as it obliged him to write a personal filled with chicks and gutteral sounds. Park- letter to every Congregational minister in er, although a man of grave and dignified Massachusetts and to many of the deacons bearing, looked puzzled and surprised at first, besides, explaining that the paper's apparent but as soon as Dana paused his interlocutor change of doctrinal attitude was due to no replied in words of the same kind. A brief change of faith on his own part, but to the but animated conversation followed and be- fact that it had been left temporarily in fore it was ended a smile of gratification charge of “a young man without journalistic broke over Parker's face and an acquaintance experience.”-JAMES HARRISON WILSON, "Life was begun which lasted till his death. Dana of Charles A. Dana." afterwards told me that he had learned the There is an apocryphal tradition, prob language as a boy, but had neither spoken ably with some slight foundation of fact, nor thought about it seriously since he left which will do as well as if it were entirely Buffalo, over twenty years before. He and true to illustrate Mr. Dana's indifference to Parker met during the various campaigns in disturbing elements, except as they may be which they took part and were in the habit useful for newspaper purposes. One night in of conversing in the Seneca dialect, especial. the early times of The Sun, the city editor ly when they did not care to be understood by rushed in from an outside room. The Sun's The Sun's | others. editorial office then consisted of four rooms, Many years afterwards, during the war all small. “Mr. Dana,” exclaimed the city between the states, as Major-General Carl editor, “there's a man out there with a cocked Schurz, Mr. Dana and I were riding from revolver. He is very much excited. He in- Knoxville to Chattanooga, those two dis- sists on seeing the editor-in-chief." "Is he tinguished dialecticians beguiled the weary very much excited ?" replied Mr. Dana, turn- hours in conversation carried on indifferently ing back to his pile of proofs. “If you think in both German and English. In one of the it worth the space ask Amos Cummings if he pauses Dana remarked, “General Schurz, you will kindly see the gentleman and write him speak English with greater purity and pre- up." cision than any man I have ever known." A very observant Frenchman once re Whereupon General Schurz rejoined, “Well, marked about Mr. Dana, "he is one of the Herr Dana” (which he pronounced with a few men over sixty I have known who re- broad "a"), "you speak German better than 165 Dana, Charles A Davis, Jefferson OF THE GREAT any man I have ever heard speak it who was in his hand, raised the window and threw it not born and educated in Germany." The out upon the grass and by his presence of compliment in each case seems to have been mind saved the building.-J. OGDEN MURRAY, justified.--WILSON. "Jefferson Davis.” DAUPHIN. He shrank from the sight of every form The title of Dauphin was first taken by of suffering, even in imagination. When "The Babes in the Woods” was first read to him, the sons of France in the fourteenth century. Previously to this it had been used by the a grown man, in time of illness, he would not Comtes de Viennois, d'Auvergne and other endure the horror of it. His sympathy for feudal lords, their wives being called dau- the oppressed was also almost abnormal, “so phines. The origin of the word “dauphin” that,” says Mrs. Davis, “it was a difficult matter to keep order with children and ser- has been attributed to a number of sources, vants.”—GAMALIEL BRADFORD, JR., The At- most of them vague and traditional. Some au- thorities derive it from the name of an lantic Monthly, January, 1911. ancient people, the Auffinates, mentioned by On one occasion, when sitting by the side Pliny and Ptolemy, who describe them, how of Davis in the House of Representatives, he ever, as a people of Italy, not of Gaul. Oth said, “Augustus Dodge tells me that you are ers thought it arose from the fact that the hard up for money, upon my inquiring of Allogroges, who settled in part of the Dau him as to your financial condition.” I re- phine, came into the country from Delphos plied that there was a judgment against me and were called Delphinates. Others, again, at home for four hundred dollars, the only that those who ruled Vienna bore a dolphin debt I owed. He took a pen and drew a on their shields as a symbol of gentleness draft in my favor for one thousand dollars and humanity. Some transformed de Vien on J. U. Payne, his then commission mer- nois into Do Viene, Dofiene, and thus from chant in New Orleans, and handed it to me. Dofin into Dauphin. Subtle as the derivation It surprised me and I asked, "Where did you is, it is at the same time merely conjecture. get money from, as the last time I saw you, A more romantic if equally vague suggestion in 1838, you were yourself pressed for is that Duiges de la Gras, Comte de Vien money?" He said that he had made good nois, had a daughter called Dauphine, this cotton crops on his plantation. I drew my Christian name not being unknown in France, note for a thousand dollars in his favor at and that her affectionate father named the ten per cent. interest and handed it to him. province over which he ruled after her. | He tore the note into pieces, threw them un- There is no proof, however, that any such der his feet, saying, “When you get more lady ever existed. A far more reasonable | money than you know what to do with, you explanation is given by Bullet, who derives may pay me, not before.”-GENERAL GEORGE the word from the Celtic Dahl, meaning a | W. Jones in JOHN W. DANIELS'S “Life of Jef- district or territory, and pen or pin, a chief ferson Davis.” or sovereign. Dahlphin, in which form the Speaking of the firmness of President word appears in the time of Guiges IV., Davis, which many called obstinacy, Judge Comte de Viennois, thus conveys the idea Bruce related an anecdote of Mrs. General of a country obeying its prince or ruler and Henningsen, whose husband, a Hungarian is easily converted into Dauphin and Dau- (an unusually fine-looking man, well remem- phine.--FRANK HAMEL, “The Dauphines of bered in New York), having fallen into dis- France.” favor with the president, lost his position DAVIS, Jefferson, 1808-1889. American in the army, and no entreaty could obtain statesman. his restoration. This so enraged Mrs. Hen- ningsen that she told some of the president's The lecturer was teaching the class the friends that if she had been at the battle process of making fire-balls. One of the balls of Bosworth, when King Richard cried, “A took fire and the room was filled with ex- horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” plosives. Cadet Davis was the first to dis- she would have pointed to Jefferson Davis cover the danger. He very coolly asked the and said, “There's your mule.” Which say. professor, "What shall I do? the fire-ball is ing became a by-word throughout the armies ignited.” The professor said, “Run for your life, sir," and the professor ran for the door, of the Confederacy.—Harper's Magazine, April, 1880. the first to make the exit. Cadet Davis did not fiee as did the others of his class. He The president was returning with Mrs. coolly walked over to the burning ball, took it Davis from one of the customary festivities Davis, Jefferson Douglas, Stephen 166 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES on a flag of truce boat that had come up the to which two or three subalterns were fre- James; walking the street in the night, un- quently invited and it was his custom to attended by his staff, he had to pass the front question these young men with paternal of Libby prison, where a sentinel paced, and, bluffness about their families. At his Arst according to his orders, forced passengers dinner after the Czartoriski business, he from the sidewalk to the middle of the street. greeted one of the subaltern guards in his As the president, with his wife on his arm, usual way by saying, "Well, young man, approached him he ordered him off the pave how's your father?” The young man as- ment. “I am the president,” replied Mr. sumed a sorrowful expression and muttered Davis; "allow us to pass." "None of your out that his father was better, but still con- gammon,” replied the soldier, bringing his fined in a maison de santé (lunatic asylum). musket to his shoulder; "if you don't get "Ah, diable,” said Davout, and turning to into the street I'll blow the top of your head another guest, but with the same result, for off.” “But I am Jefferson Davis, man; this one too pretended that his father was I am your president-no more of your in in a lunatic asylum. Davout frowned, guess- solence," and the president pressed forward. ing that a plot had been hatched, so, looking He was rudely thrust back and in a moment hard at the third subaltern who came up to had drawn a sword or dagger concealed in his make his bow, he said, "How does madame, cane and was about to rush on the insolent your mother, bear the affliction of having an sentinel when Mrs. Davis flung herself be. imbecile husband ?” It so happened that this tween the strange combatants and by her young man knew nothing of the plot, and screams aroused the officer of the guard. he became almost idiotic with surprise when Explanations were made and the president the marshal roared out: “Now be off, all of went safely home. But, instead of the tra you, and put your heads in cold water; my ditional reward to the faithful sentry that doctor shall examine you all to-morrow morn- has usually graced such romantic adventures, ing, to see whether your pates are cracked came an order the next day to degrade the like your fathers.”—Temple Bar, 1883. soldier and give him a taste of bread and Speaking of dinners I must not forget to water for his unwitting insult to the com say a word about those given by Marshal mander-in-chief of the Confederate armies. Davout. That brave marshal, among his EDWARD A. POLLARD, "Life of Jefferson high military qualities, had an awful fault Davis.” which made him many enemies among the Mr. Davis was a man slow to forget a gastronomists of the army. When he invited serious wrong. This was shown in his treat us to dinner, it was a piece of perfidy on his ment of the Emperor Napoleon. Mr. Davis ) part; not that his meals were without cere- thought that the former had acted treacher- | mony, but they were of despairing briefness. ously toward him in the course he pursued We sat down at table, ten minutes afterwards about France recognizing the Southern Con we had to rise, because the host set the ex. federacy. When Mr. Davis visited Paris, ample. The first time I had the honor of some time after the close of the war, Na- sitting at the marshal's table, I was caught; poleon sent a special messenger to him with hardly had I broken my bread and begun a pressing invitation to call on him. “Tell | eating of the first relishes to prepare the way your majesty,” said Mr. Davis to the meg. | than the signal for retreat was given. “Where senger, "with my compliments that I am are you going?” I asked my neighbor. “We much obliged, but if he wants to see me he have finished.” “Dining?” “Yes.” “But I must call on me.”—JOHN W. DANIELS, "Life have not begun.” “So much the worse for of Jefferson Davis." you.” “It's an abominable trick-a willful DAVOUT, Louis Nicolas, Duke of Auer- injury.” “Agreed; but the marshal imitates städt and Prince of Eckmühl, French mar- the emperor."- ELZEAR BLAZE, "Recollec- tions." shal, 1770-1823. Whilst he was governor of Poland he once DERBY, Edward H. S. Stanley, Earl, 1826- flew into a temper with a young officer of 1893. English statesman. the Polish Legion, Ladislas Czartoriski, abus. An elderly lady, the daughter of a duke, ing him and his forefathers for several gen had been for many years married to a com- erations up: “Your father must have been moner. Lord Derby advised the raising of a mule, your grandfather an idiot,” etc. this excellent gentleman to a peerage; thus Czartoriski took this to heart and some young the lady, to her annoyance, lost precedence, French officers determined to teach the mar- a baroness being of lower rank than the shal a lesson. Davout often gave dinners | daughter of a duke. A few months later the 167 Davis, Jefferson Douglas, Stephen OF THE GREAT lady and her husband were staying at Knows hours at Natchez, where she was supplied ley; Lord Derby took her down to dinner. | with wood and water, and during the delay As they descended the stairs the lady said, a huge, kard-fisted boatman, somewhat the "Oh, Lord Derby, I hesitated to give you worse for a poor article of strychnine whis. my arm. I have not seen you since you ky, made himself very conspicuous and ex- dishonored me.” Lord Derby instantly re ceedingly obnoxious by the continued itera- plied, "Hush; don't say a word about it tion of his desire to fight some one. He and no one will find us out.”-WILLIAM was fearful that he would “ruin” if his FRASER, “Disraeli and His Day." pugilistic wants were not immediately at. tended to and in manner more earnest than Lord Derby wrote every word of his agreeable invited all to "come ashore and speeches and sent them in advance to the have the conceit taken out of them." From press. It was said that once he dropped his the descriptive catalogue he gave of his own manuscript in the street and that, it being merits the passengers had gathered that he picked up, it was found to contain such en- was a "roarer," "a regular bruiser," "half tries as these: "Cheers,” “Laughter," and alligator, half steamboat, half snapping tur- “Loud applause," culminating in “But I am tle, with a leetle dash of chain lightning detaining you too long." (Cries of “No, no; thrown in,” and were evidently afraid of go on; go on.")-GEORGE W. E. RUSSELL, him; when the Judge, who had been quietly “Fifteen Chapters of Autobiography.” smoking on the deck, stepped out upon the DOUGLAS, Stephen Arnold, 1813-1861. quay and, approaching the bully, said in a American statesman. peculiarly dry manner, “Who might you be, He was nearly seventeen years of age and, my big chicken, eh?" "I'm a high-pressure steamer," roared the astonished boatman. though not handsome, was very intelligent "And I'm a snag,” replied Douglas, as he and bright in his appearance, so that he was pitched into him and, before the fellow had able to compete successfully for the smiles and favors of a young country lass who time to reflect, he lay sprawling in the mud. reigned the belle of the village. This did A loud shout, mingled with derisive laughter, not suit the "mittened” ones and they de- burst from the spectators, all of whom knew termined to draw young Douglas into a con- the judge, and, while the discomfited brag. troversy which should end in a fight-he, of gart limped slowly off, the passengers carried Douglas to the bar, where for hours after- course, to be the defeated party. The night wards a general series of jollifications en- chosen for the onslaught was “singing school" night and the time the homeward sued. -Atlantic Monthly, August, 1861. walk of Stephen from the house of the fair On a certain occasion, after the New object of contention. From jests to gibes, York Tribune had attacked Douglas savagely, from taunts to blows, was then as ever an a mutual acquaintance asked Douglas if he easy path; and in reply to some unchivalric objected to meeting the redoubtable Greeley. remark concerning his lady love, Douglas "Not at all," was the good-natured reply; struck the slanderer with all his might. Im- "I always pay that class of political debts as mediately a ring was formed and kept until i I go along, so as to have no trouble with Douglas rose the victor and without further them in social intercourse and leave none for ceremony pitched into one of the lookers-on, my executors to settle.”—ALLEN JOHNSON, and stopped not until he too was soundly | "Stephen A. Douglas," citing Schuyler Colfax thrashed, when, with flashing eye and clenched in the South Bend Register, June, 1861. fist, he said, "Now, boys, if that's not enough, Douglas'a loss of everything but courage come on and I'll tāke you altogether.” At and devotion to the Union in the sweeping this juncture the good old deacon, who had anti-slavery tide, illustrates how, when a been trying cider in the cellar of his store, man has apparently lost all, something yet came along and, taking Stephen by the arm, said, “Well, Stephen, you're a tough ’un.” is found by fate to take from him. In 1857 the Democratic territorial legislature of ... For years he was known there and in Nebraska passed a bill to remove the capitol the neighboring townships as the “Tough from Omala to a point near the site of the present Lincoln, to be called Douglas City. Mr. Douglas, then a judge of the Su. But the governor vetoed the bill and through preme Court of Illinois, was one of the the bribery of a very few members it could passengers who on the crack steamboat | not be passed over the veto. Ten years later Andrew Jackson were going down the Mis. | a removal bill was passed. After its third sissippi. The steamer was detained several | reading a "copperhead" senator from Omaha, 'un.” Du Barry Dueling 168 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES hoping to disgust other virulent Democrats, | may require it. ... Many of the courtiers moved the substitution of Lincoln for Doug. | owed their good fortune to her and I could las City as the name of the new capitol, but mention many who forgot that fact. At last, to insure success the rabid removalists in May, 1774, the king's illness brought the promptly accepted the obnoxious substitute brilliant reign of the favorite to an end. and the name of the successful rival of "the She was bidden to go; and she obeyed, with- father of Nebraska” is thus perpetuated in out remembering to carry with her the king's stead of his own.--ALBERT WATKINS, "His many valuable gifts, which-very unjustly-- tory of Nebraska.” were never sent after her.-COUNT ESPIN- CHAL, “Journal." DU BARRY, Jeanne Bécu Vaubernier, 1746- 1793. French countess. DUBOIS, Guillaume, Cardinal, 1656-1723. ller silverware was more valuable on ac French statesman. count of its workmanship than its material. The mad freaks of Dubois, especially after But, wearying of silver, Madame Du Barry he had become master and thrown off all took it into her head to have a service of restraint, would fill a volume. ... Ilis gold, of which the handles were in blood frenzy was such that he would sometimes stone. The value of this set may be imagined run all around the chamber, upon the tables from the fact that for two sugar spoons be and chairs, without touching the floor.- longing to it four hundred dollars were paid, SAINT-SIMON, "Memoirs.” and for the mustard pot one thousand dollars. Her next caprice was to order a toilet table Every evening he generally ate a chicken wing. A dog one day carried away the in solid gold, the mirror supported by two cupids, who held above the table a crown chicken before the cardinal had been served. His servants hurriedly prepared another on enriched with precious stones. Nor were the toilets of the lady of the mansion less gor- the spit but it was not ready when he was, so the maître d'hôtel said to him, “Mon- geous than her surroundings. Dresses cost- seigneur, you have had your supper.” “I ing from one thousand to two thousand dol. have had my supper?" replied the cardinal. iars, morning gowns at five hundred dollars "You have, Monseigneur; you ate but little, apiece and lace sets worth eighteen hundred and twelve hundred dollars each, were charged for you seemed wrapped in thought, but if you desire it we shall have another chicken in her household accounts. An estimate was prepared; it will take but a short time.” recently made of the sums expended on her Dr. Chirac, his physician, came in just then. by the king during the five years of her The maître d'hôtel begged his assistance. “It reign and they amounted to something over is certainly strange," said Dubois; “I am toll two and a half million dollars.-LUCY H. that I have had my supper, but I have no JIOOPER, Lippincott's BIagazine, January, recollection of it and I am hungry.” “So 1879. much the better,” said Chirac, "you are very She one day in a corner of her boudoir, tired from work and the little you have had by the side of her paroquet, her Chinese only served to arouse your appetite and mandarins and her pet negro, placed a fine there will be no danger in your eating a little and stately Van Dyck of Charles I. The king, more.” When the chicken was brought Du- surprised at so strange a contrast, asked for bois looked upon his eating twice as a sign an explanation, when the youthful favorite of good health and was in the best of humor. exclaimed, with an energy he had not as yet -CHARLES PINEAU DUCLOS, "Memoirs.” given her credit for, "Thus, too, will they He had taken for private secretary one treat you, sire, if you let the long robes have Verrier, whom he had unfrocked from the their way.”—M. CAPEFIGUE, "Louis XV. and Abbey of Saint-Germain-des-Prés, the busi- Society in the Eighteenth Century.” ness of which he had conducted for twenty I cannot forbear mentioning what M. years with much cleverness and intelligence. Prioreau told us of Madame la Comtesse He soon accommodated himself to the hu- Du Barry. The lady, in her retreat at Lou- | mors of the cardinal and said to him all he veciennes, has made no secret, from the be pleased. One morning he was with the ginning of the revolution, of her royalist cardinal, who asked for something that could sentiments; and it is known for a fact that not at once be found. Thereupon Dubois she has sold out some valuable shares and began to blaspheme, to storm against his realized thereby the sum of five hundred clerks, saying that if he had not enough he thousand francs, which she has set aside for would engage twenty, thirty, fifty, a hun- the use of the king and queen whenever they | dred, and making the most frightful din. 169 Du Barry OF THE GREAT Dueling H Verrier tranquilly listened to him. The and never allowed the decision of battle, cardinal asked him if it was not a terrible which was demanded by throwing a glove, thing to be so ill served, considering the ex or some other pledge upon the ground, but pense he was put to, and then broke out when he could get no other proof of guilt again and pressed him to reply. “Monsei. or innocence. The pledges were received and gneur," said Verrier, "engage one more clerk the judge deferred the decision of the quarrel and give him, for sole occupation, to swear to the end of two months, during the first of and storm for you, and all will go well; you which the two enemies were delivered each will have much more time to yourself and of them to common friends, upon security will be much better served.” The cardinal for their forthcoming. Their friends en- burst out laughing and was appeased.—| deavored by all sorts of means to discover SAINT-SIMON. the person criminal, and to give him a sense When the Duke of Orleans thoroughly of the injustice of maintaining a falsehood, understood all the intrigues of Dubois he from which he could expect nothing but could not avoid showing him his displeasure. the loss of his reputation, of his life, and of He was archbishop of Cambrai, nevertheless his soul; for they were persuaded, with the he treated him as a menial and spoke to him utmost degree of certainty, that heaven al- in tones of the utmost scorn; several times ways gave the victory to the right cause; and he even struck him. Some days after his therefore, a duel, in their opinion, was an installation it is known that he kicked him. action the event of which could be determined Dubois was the only person whom the regent by no human power. When the two months ever maltreated, for he was naturally very were expired, the two rivals were put into kind-hearted, indulgent and given to jesting. a close prison, and committed to the ecclesias- Another time, the archbishop was imperti- tics, who employed every motive to make nent enough to look brazen and attempt to them change their design. If, after all this, show the regent his archiepiscopal dignity; they still persisted, a day was at last fixed the latter shoved him into a corner of the to end their quarrel. When the day was room and gave him one kick for his former come the two champions were brought fast- quality of minister, a second one for being ing in the morning before the same judge, a hypocrite, a third one for being a rascal, who obliged both of them to declare upon oath a fourth for being a priest and a fifth for that they said the truth, after which they being the archbishop of Cambrai. "I pardon suffered them to eat; they were then armed you for it,” said the prelate, “for I expect in his presence, the kind of arms being like- to get a sixth one when I become a cardinal." wise settled; four seconds, chosen with the -ABBÉ SOULAVIE, “Memoirs of the Duke of same ceremony, saw them undressed and Richelieu.” anointed all over the body with oil, and saw their beards and hair cut close. They were DUELING, Ancient Rules. then conducted into an enclosed ground and To show, by explaining the difference be- / guarded by armed men, having been made to tween ancient duels and those of our time, repeat for the last time their assertions and what a number of nameless abuses have crept accusations, to see if they persisted in them into the practise, which was from the first without alterations. They were not even original a corruption, it will be sufficient to then suffered to advance to the combat; that lay down the circumstances and formalities moment their seconds joined them at the which were observed in those times. In the two ends of the field for another ceremony, first place, nobody, however offended, might which of itself was enough to make their take vengeance in his own right; and as it is weapons drop from their hands, at least if now practised in the first emotion of caprice there had been any friendship between them. and passion, and much less in mere bravado, The seconds made them kneel down in this which, in my opinion, is of all things the most place facing each other; they made them contrary to the laws of society. They had | join hands, with the fingers of one put be- their judges, before whom he who thought tween the fingers of the other; they de- himself injured in his honor was to give an manded justice from one another and were account of the wrong suffered and demand conjured on each side not to support a fal- permission to prove, in the way of arms, that sity; they solemnly promised to act upon he did not lay upon his enemy a false accu terms of honor and not to aim at the victory sation. It was then considered as shameful by fraud and enchantment. The seconds to desire blood for blood. The judge, who examined their arms piece by piece, to see was commonly a lord of the place, made the that nothing was wanting, and then conduct- person accused likewise appear before him; 1 ed them to the two ends of the lists, where ill Edward VI. Edward VII. 170 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES they made them say their prayers and make | quished, dead or alive, incurred all the in- their confession; then asking each of them famy of the crime and the punishment; he whether he had any message to send to his was dragged upon a hurdle in his shirt and adversary, they suffered them to fall to, afterwards hanged or burned, while the other which they did at the signal of the herald, returned honored and triumphant, with a who cried from without the lists, "Let the decree that attested him to have gained his brave combatants go." After this, it is true, suit and allotted him all manner of satis- they fought without mercy, and the van- | faction.-DUKE OF SULLY, "Memoirs." EDWARD VI., 1537-1553. King of England. jury. It is a well-known scientific fact that This Fitzpatrick did afterwards fully the human hand, if perfectly cleansed, may answer the opinion this young king had of be placed uninjured in lead boiling at white him. He was bred up with him in learning; heat, the moisture of the skin protecting it and, as it is said, had been his whipping boy under those conditions from any injury. who, according to the rules of educating our Should the lead be at a perceptibly lower princes, was always to be whipped for the temperature, the effect would, of course, be king's faults. He was afterwards made by different. It requires, however, courage of Queen Elizabeth Baron of Upper Ossory in no common order for a novice to try such Ireland, which was his native country.- an experiment, even at the bidding of a man BISHOP GILBERT BURNET, “History of his so distinguished in science as was Playfair.- Own Time." WEMYSS REID, “Lord Playfair's Autobiog. raphy.” EDWARD VII., 1841-1910. King of Eng- “Hawkins, you've been eating onions?” land. "No, your majesty." "Yes, you have; I'm It is said that one day when the queen in sure you have. Send Mr. Hiley here at quired about her son's progress Mr. Tarver once. And Mr. Fehr.” “Yes, your majesty." replied: "I regret to say that I cannot get The sergeant-footman withdrew and present- rid of the prince's German accent. When he ly the postmaster was announced. The king is older, and has to speak in public, the called him to his side and was beginning to people will not be pleased with it." Her read him a telegram he wanted him to des- majesty was so much impressed that she or patch, when, “Hiley, you've been eating dered the prince to read a piece of English onions,” he cried. "No, your majesty,” said before her every day.--Mrs. BELLOC LOWN- the postmaster instantly recoiling. “Yes, DES, Munsey's Magazine, December, 1906. you have; it's disgraceful.” For the rest of Playfair has told us in the preceding the interview the postmaster kept his dis- chapter of the reminiscences of his success tance and, when his majesty had given his with which he carried out this program for orders, withdrew from the royal presence with the instruction of the Prince of Wales in the a haste that was almost precipitate. The practical application of science to industry. courier entered the room. He approached It was whilst the prince was living in Edin- very warily, but his majesty's sense was keen burgh as Playfair's pupil that an incident and all Mr. Fehr's efforts to conceal the fact occurred which has already, I believe, been were unavailing. The king looked up sharply published. The prince and Playfair were and sat back in his chair. “I'm damned if standing near a cauldron containing lead you haven't been eating onions too.” “I'm which was boiling at white heat. “Ilas your afraid the chef must have put some into royal highness any faith in science ?” asked the soup, your majesty.” “Tell the chef he's Playfair. “Certainly,” replied the prince. not to put onions into the soup.” “Yes, your Playfair then carefully washed the prince's majesty." "I won't have my servants eating hand with ammonia to get rid of any grease onions; it's disgusting.”-C. W. STAMPER, that might be on it. "Will you now place “King Edward as I Knew Him." your hand in this boiling metal and ladle In the course of the afternoon he honored out a portion of it ?" he said to his dis the refreshment stall by his presence and tinguished pupil. “Do you tell me to do asked for a cup of tea. The tea was priced at this?" asked the prince. “I do," replied a figure sufficiently exorbitant to cover the Vayfair. The prince instantly put his hand calls of charity, but the fair vendor, think- mto the cauldron and ladled out some of ing to amuse the prince, before handing him the boiling lead without sustaining any in- | the cup drank from it herself, saying, "Now 171 Edward VI. Edward VII. OF THE GREAT the cup is five guineas.” The prince gravely an umbrella he will be compelled to take paid the money asked, handed back the teal a cab when the rain comes on.The London and said, “Will you please give me a clean Magazine, August, 1902. cup?"__"Private Life of Edward VII., by a To me the prince was always kindness Member of the Royal Household." itself and amongst my most valued treasures The piece in question was of the musical are several little gifts, some of which he comedy genre and the leading character was gave me under rather humorous circum- a thinly disguised burlesque of a certain stances. On one occasion, being seated next reigning monarch. In ignorance of this King to him at dinner, I did what I have always Edward sat through the opening of the per done, despite all social convention that is, formance. As it proceeded, however, the ate oysters with a knife. This not unnatur. burlesque grew more and more offensive. At ally surprised the prince, who made some the end of the first act he left the theater humorous comment, upon which I explained and has never visited it again.-HORACE that I was aware that such conduct was WYNDHAM, Munsey's Magazine, June, 1903. almost a crime, but from long habit I must His saving grace of humor enables him be regarded as an irreclaimable criminal. To to enjoy and poke fun at the folly of the my surprise and delight the next morning he tuft-hunter and the collector of royal cherry- presented me with a beautiful case of oyster stones. “You see that chair?" he said in knives, as he said, "in remembrance of your tones of awe to a guest entering his smoking criminal tendency.”—LADY DOROTHY NEVILL, “Reminiscences." room at Windsor; "that is the chair John Burns sat in.” His majesty has a genuine Once, when I found my bed less com- liking for “J. B.," who, I have no doubt, de fortable than usual, I asked the nymph who livered from that chair a copious digest of tended me whether she turned the mattress his Raper lecture, coupled with illuminating daily. She said she turned it every day but statistics on infantile mortality, some ap- | Friday. I was given to understand that it proving comments on the member from Bat was unlucky to effect a "confusion" in that tersea and a little wholesome advice on the fateful seventh part of the week. I find duties of a king.-A. G. GARDINER, "Prophets, from M. Paoli's “Leurs Majestés" (Your Priests and Kings." Majesties), p. 183, that it is probable the Twain and myself were guests at the belief reigns in the highest circles; and from informal dinner with the prince one evening further inquiry among domestic servants that with a score or more of well-known men of it is still held as an article of their creed. British official life. Twain told a story and With regard to King Edward VII. it is appeared surprised himself at the laugh with written: "Hawkins, the second valet (of the which the prince greeted the conclusion. It chamber) was an Englishman. It was he was not until the gathering was breaking up who especially had charge of making the that Twain learned the real cause of the bed for the king; he knew better than any. pleasure which the prince expressed. “That body else the king's habits and likings; he was a fine story," said the prince; "I know knew, for instance, that he never was to it was good because Depew told it last turn the mattress of his majesty on Friday. night.”—CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW, New York The king, indeed, had this curious supersti- Sun, May 10, 1910. tion, the only one I have known of him and which he did not deny either. Now, by an It was probably the knowledge of the extraordinary coincidence, I was told that on prince which Lord Charles Beresford ac- the morning of his death, which occurred on quired on this journey that caused him to a Friday, the doctors had forgotten his re- refuse one of his invitations to dinner by a peated orders, in the course of their grave telegram which ran, “Sorry cannot come; lie services caused by the sudden decline in his to follow,” which tickled the prince im- health-and had the mattress turned over mensely.--"Private Life of Edward VII., by in the expectation that a little rest would a Member of the Royal Household.” please him after a night of suffering; a few There is, I think, no class of our fellows minutes before the striking of midnight he that deserves more of our consideration than breathed his last.” I have not had, I must the cab drivers of London. ... There is only say, the opportunity to investigate the au- one article a cabman never returns and this thenticity of this detail, although told me is an umbrella; and that, I think, we may by a person worth believing. I have found consider quite fair. A gentleman baving an from other sources--and his superstition umbrella may not want a cab, but without concerning the mattress is a proof thereof Eldon, John 172 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that the king has always had the presenti. ment that Friday would be a fatal day for him.-Notes and Queries, May 4, 1912. ELDON, John Scott, 1751-1838. Lord Chan- cellor of England. “During the long war," he said, “I became one of the Lincoln's Inn Volunteers, Lord Ellenborough at the same time being one of the corps. It happened, unfortunately for the military character of both of us, that we were turned out of the awkward squad for awkwardness.”—LORD CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Lord Chancellors," quoting Eldon. I never wake in the night without taking a pinch. Mary, do you know the origin of my taking snuff? I was obliged to undergo an operation in the nose and the surgeon who performed it told me that if I would take three pinches of a particular kind of snuff the first thing every morning I should have no return of that complaint. I took the snuff and have had no return.- ORACE Twiss, “Life of Lord Chancellor Eldon,” quoting Eldon. At Gifford's funeral Lord Eldon and Chief Justice Abbott were placed in the same pew, which was overlooked by Jay, who sat in the gallery. The chief justice being a great snuff-taker, Eldon asked him for his box and, having helped himself to a pinch, threw it away and went through the motion of inhaling it. Jay says, “I was young at the time and was astonished by the deception practised by so great a man with the grave yawning before him.”—Albany Law Journal, August 14, 1875. One day, soon after the commencement of the new reign, he was walking in St. James's street, where a crowd had gathered to see the carriages of some gentlemen going to the palace with an address. Amidst the throng he felt the hand of a man in one of his pockets, but, as luckily it was not that which contained his purse, he contented himself with the thief's disappointment and, quietly turning to him, said, “Ah, my friend, you were wrong there; this other was the side." Taking a walk by himself and, seeing two persons on his land with dogs and guns, he accosted them with a gentle intimation that they were transgressing the law and trespassing upon Lord Eldon's property. “Oh, no," said one of them, “we are not trespass- ing; we are only following some birds we put up on another gentleman's land. If you go home and ask your master, he knows the law better than to tell you that what we are doing is contrary to it.” “Indeed, gen- tlemen,” replied Lord Eldon, “that will hard- ly be his opinion--for he is the person who now addresses you. However, as you do not seem to like my law, you shall pursue your amusement for to-day without any further interruption from me.”-IIORACE Twiss, "Life of Lord Chancellor Eldon." Jemmy Boswell called upon me at my chambers in Lincoln's Inn, desiring what would be my definition of Taste. I told him I must decline informing him how I should define it, because I knew he would publish what I said would be my definition of it and I did not choose to subject my notion of it to public criticism. He continued, however, his importunities in frequent calls and in one complained much that I would not give him my definition of Taste, as he had that morn- ing got Henry Dundas's (afterwards Lord Melville), Sir Archibald MacDonald's and John Anstruther's definition of Taste. "Well, then," I said, “Boswell, we must have an end of this. Taste, according to my definition, is the judgment which Dundas, MacDonald, Anstruther and you manifested when you determined to quit Scotland and come into the South. You may publish this, if you please.”—LORD ELDON, “Anecdote Book.” “The following correspondence,” said Lord Eldon to Mrs. Forster, “once took place between my old friend, Dr. Fisher, of the Charter House, and me. Ile applied to me for a piece of preferment then vacant, in my gift. So I wrote to him: 'Dear Fisher: I cannot to-day give you the preferment for which you ask. I remain your sincere friend. Eldon. Turn over.' Then on the other side: 'I gave it to you yesterday.'” On one occasion I and the Archbishop of Canterbury and many other lords were with George III., when his majesty ex- claimed, “I dare say I am the first king whose Archbishop of Canterbury and whose Chancellor have both run away with their wives-was it not so, Chancellor?” “May it please your majesty, will you ask the archbishop that question first ?" answered I. It turned the laugh to my side, for all the lords were beginning to titter.-Twiss. Being charged, and truly, with never entering a church, though always talking as if he was its great supporter, he said that he was a buttress which was placed outside. - LORD BROUGIIAM, “Lord Eldon.” Once I had a very handsome offer made to me. I was pleading for the rights of the 173 Eldon, John OF THE GREAT inhabitants of the Isle of Man. Now I had Sir Thomas Davenport was a very dull been reading in Coke, and I found there speaker. Whilst making a very long and that the people of the Isle of Man were no dull speech to a jury, a boy, asleep on a beggars. [Lord Coke's words are: “The window considerably higher than the floor, inhabitants of this isle are religious, indus fell and was reported, though untruly, to be trious and a true people, without begging dead. I was at that time Attorney-General or stealing.”] So in my speech I said: “The of the Northern Circuit [a jocular office); people of the Isle of Man are no beggars; I and at the Circuit Court of Appleby I in- therefore do not beg their rights: I demand dicted him for wilful murder, perpetrated them." This so pleased an old smuggler who by a long, dull instrument, viz., a speech. was present that when the trial was over He was convicted and severely fined.- he called me aside and said, “Young gentle- | “Anecdote Book,” LORD Eldon. man, I will tell you what: you shall have my Judge Bosanquet, when a young man, daughter if you will marry her and one was reporting a case before Lord Eldon and hundred thousand pounds for her fortune." the Chancellor requested to see the report. That was a very handsome offer, but I told Bosanquet sent it to him with his judgment him that I happened to have a wife, who had nothing for her fortune; therefore I reported exactly as it had fallen from his lordship's lips, except that some of his must stick to her. unmanageably long sentences had been bro- I got into a dilemma with one cause at ken up into reasonable lengths. One sentence Lancaster. The plaintiff was a farmer of especially, occupying three folio pages and some substance (amazingly fond these people a half, was broken into a number of shorter are of going to law) and the other party periods. His lordship's only alteration was was the son of a farmer, who had run off to put this wounded snake of a sentence with the daughter of the plaintiff, and it back again as he had originally pronounced was for damages for loss of her services that it. And in this state it may be found in the action was brought. Well, the instruc “Bosanquet's Reports," filling three folio tions the farmer gave me were these: pages and a half.-Notes and Queries, July “Mind, Lawyer Scott, you are to say that a 1, 1854. man who runs away with another man's I remember Mr. Justice Gould trying a daughter is a rascal and a villain and de- cause at York and when he had proceeded for serves to be hanged." "No, no; I cannot about two hours he observed, "Here are only say that.” “And why not? Why can't you eleven jurymen in the box. Where is the say that?” “Because I did it myself; but twelfth?" "Please you, my lord,” said one I will tell you what I will say—and I will of the jurors, "he has gone away about some say it from my heart-I will say that a man | business, but he has left his verdict with who begins domestic life by a breach of me." domestic duty is doubly bound to do every- thing in his power to render both the Many absurdities have been noticed in lady and her family happy in future life; Irish acts of Parliament; perhaps none great- that I will say, for I feel it.” Well, he was er than what I think may be found in an obliged to give up that point and the jury, English act of Parliament. There was an act after a deliberation of nine hours, gave a for rebuilding Chelmsford jail. By one sec. verdict for eight hundred pounds damages. tion the new jail was to be built from the Twiss. material of the old one; by another, the prisoners were to be kept in the old jail Attending a cause in the Court of Ex- until the new jail was finished. chequer a part of the ceiling fell down and alarmed the judges, counsel, etc. Mr. Gryf- When I was solicitor or attorney-general fid Price, an honest and excellent but warm we had this ingenious case of smuggling Welshman, turned to me and said in his proved. A person at Dover smuggled three familiar way: “My dear Jack, what an thousand pairs of French gloves. He sent escape! Who would have expected that we all the right hand gloves to London. They would all be delivered ?” He hated a pun were seized and sold. Nobody would buy and particularly a bad one and I thought right hand gloves, who had not the left hand nothing could have restrained my Welsh gloves. The smuggler therefore bought them friend's wrath when I said, “My dear Price, for a trifle. Having purchased the three you make more than enough of this. Ought thousand right hand gloves he then sent the not you, as an experienced lawyer, know that left hand gloves to London. They were also sealing and delivery always go together?" seized, sold and of course bought by him for Elibank, Patrick Elizabeth of Austria 174 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES a price next to nothing. Thus he became fitted her tightly, and she was always sewn possessed of them, though contraband, ac into it every time she rode By this I mean cording to law, and, as a smuggler would that once the bodice was on, her tailor sewed say, in an honest way.--"Anecdote Book,” the skirt to it and I could never imagine the LORD ELDON. reason for this strange whim. ELIBANK, Patrick Murray, Lord, 1703-1778. Elizabeth was not a believer in any spe- Scottish littérateur. cial face treatment. Sometimes she only used Did you ever hear Lord Elibank's reply a simple toilet cream; occasionally at night she wore a kind of mask "lined” inside with when Johnson's famous definition of "oats" was pointed out first to him? “The food of raw veal; and in the strawberry season she smeared her face and neck with the crushed man in Scotland and horses in England," repeated Lord Elibank; “very true and where fruit. The empress took warm baths of will you find such men and such horses ?”— olive oil, which she believed helped to pre- JOHN WILSON CROKER, "Correspondence and serve the suppleness of her figure, but on one Diaries." occasion the oil was nearly boiling and she narrowly escaped the horrible death associat- ELIZABETH, 1837-1898. Empress of Aus- ed with many Christian martyrs. She often tria. slept with wet towels round her waist in The only trait of vanity which I ever order to keep its proportion slender, and noticed in Empress Elizabeth was the pride drank a horrible decoction composed of the she took in her magnificent chestnut hair, whites of five or six eggs mixed with salt which fell below her knees. She used to have for the same purpose. Once a month Eliz- it dressed for hours every day, whilst the abeth's heavy chestnut tresses were washed "res er," Mlle. F., read to her English, with raw egg and brandy and afterwards French or Hungarian novels. Her majesty rinsed with some “disinfectant," as she was particularly anxious that the dressers termed it. When the actual washing was who brushed her long tresses should avoid over the empress put on a long waterproof pulling out a single hair. This, of course, silk wrapper and walked up and down until was an impossibility, and the unfortunate | the hair was dry. The woman who acted as maid concealed carefully in the pocket of her | her coiffeuse was hardly ever seen without apron any hair which became entangled in gloves, which she even wore during the night; the brush. One day the empress, happening | her nails were cut close; rings were for- to glance into the looking-glass, caught sight | bidden her; the sleeves of her white gown of the maid concealing a small roll of hair | were quite short; and it may be almost truth- in the above-described fashion. Jumping | fully asserted that the hair of Aunt Cissy's from her rocking chair, her majesty clutched | head were all numbered. ... Elizabeth slept her attendant by the wrist and angrily ex on a plain iron bedstead, which she took with claimed, “I have caught you at last; you are her wherever she went. She scorned pillows ruining my hair.” With a presence of mind and lay quite flat, probably because she had which would have done honor to an expert been told by some one that it was beneficial diplomat, the maid replied unhesitatingly, “I to her beauty.-COUNTESS MARIE LARISCH, implore your majesty to forgive me. It never | "My Past,” copyright, G. P. Putnam's Sons. happened before. I only wished to have a Elizabeth scandalized the Austrian court few of my sovereign's hairs to put into the | by calling for beer-the excellent beer of locket which my little girl wears around her | Munich--and, according to some chroniclers, neck as a talisman.” Whether the empress also for sausages, at the imperial luncheon believed or not this clever invention, I do not table. She scandalized them a second time know, but, shrugging her shapely shoulders, by refusing to throw her shoes away after she resumed her seat, laughing merrily; and she had worn them once; a third time by the next day she presented her maid with a going shopping on foot, attended only by locket enriched with diamonds, saying, with a single lady-in-waiting; a fourth time by a mischievous twinkle in her eye, "I think taking off her gloves at a banquet at which this is the kind of talisman your little etiquette prescribed that gloves should be daughter deserves for having such a clever worn, and laughing at the regulations when mother.”-One of the Ladies of the Court, her attention was called to it.--FRANCIS Harper's Magazine, June, 1893. GRIBBLE, “The Life of Emperor Francis Elizabeth looked lovely on horseback. Her hair was pleated around her head and At the close of the Vienna exposition she invariably wore a high hat; her habit 1 of 1873 the empress took into her service a Joseph.” 175 Elibank, Patrick Elizabeth of Austria OF THE GREAT little Berberine boy named Mahmoud, who the strictest orders to take every care of her had accompanied the Egyptian government majesty's pets and always address them in mission to Austria and who had acted as the third person. Worthy citizens who visit- page at Carine House, which the Khedive ed the park for an afternoon nap have Ismail had caused to be erected in the Pra vouched for such conversations as these: ter, and presented to her imperial majesty. “Will Bella have the goodness not to bark The little fellow, with his great black eyes, so much ?" an old servant was heard to im- his bright and picturesque dress and his plore. And another would add, "If Bella dusky skin, looked for all the world like will not condescend to desist, it will be my one of Barbedienne's enameled bronzes. The regretful duty to lay the matter before our empress became much attached to the tiny most gracious sovereign." African and was very kind and gracious to Her passion for equestrian exercises was him. When the cruel cold of the Vienna carried to strange lengths which displeased winter affected his lungs, accustomed to the her august consort, the emperor. Indeed it hot winds of the African desert, and when reached such a point, that she used to put on he fell ill with pneumonia, she nursed and a circus dress and dance and leap on the tended him with her own fair hands. Mah- backs of her magnificent horses and break moud literally worshiped his imperial mis- no less than six paper hoops in one bound. tress and could hardly bear her out of his This in the little circus she had built at sight. This intense devotion, however, had her own expense in one of the courts of the its drawbacks, for he was morbidly jealous Hofburg in spite of the strenuous opposi- of her, with all the unreasoning jealousy of a tion of Francis Joseph.-HERBERT VIVIAN, child and the savagery of some wild animal. "Francis Joseph and his Court," from the He became the playmate of the Archduchess "Memoirs of Count Roger de Resseguier," Valerie and the horror of Austrian aristoc- copyright, John Lane Company. racy knew no bounds when they saw their empress's favorite child, who looked like a The empress not only smokes from fifty dainty harebell, with her slender figure and | to sixty Turkish cigarettes a day, but dur- bright gossamer skirts, continually in com- ing the course of the evening she also smokes pany with the flat-nosed and thick-lipped several terribly strong cigars. This perhaps African boy. The empress, on being in- somewhat unfeminine pastime acts as a sed- formed of the indignation which she had un- ative to her majesty's nervous temperament and had become almost indispensable to her. wittingly aroused by her kindness for Mah. In spite of all the doctors say to the con- moud, whom she was accustomed to describe as "mein kleiner schwarzer Kaefens (my trary, this habit has not impaired the pearly little black beetle), became inbued with that whiteness of her lovely teeth.-One of the spirit of defiance which she so often dis- Ladies of her Court, Harper's Magazine, played when her Austrian subjects were con- June, 1893. cerned, for she responded by having the two From him [Paoli) we learn that the children-the white and the black, the im empress bathed daily in distilled water, and perial princess and the slave-boy-photo took only one biscuit with her tea at break- graphed together, arm in arm. Haughty, fast, and refreshed herself later in the morn- patrician, exclusive Vienna lifted its hands ing "with meat juice extracted daily from to heaven in indignation, and this one act several pounds of fillet of beef by means of of hers added thousands to the already a special apparatus which she always carried numerous of Elizabeth's detractors. One with her," and dined off iced milk, raw eggs of the ladies of the Court, Harper's Maga and a glass of Tokay. M. Paoli also speaks zine, June, 1893. of her long walks, for these, of course, were Her infatuation for dogs was also ex- occasions when the burden of his responsi- bility weighed heavily upon him. Elizabeth travagant and she kept almost as many of often walked as much as fifteen or twenty them as there are sands on the seashore. She miles a day, with no one but her “Greek treated them like princes of the blood and reader”-some student as a rule of the Uni- great fun was made of this at Vienna. The versity of Athens-in attendance. His func- imperial carriages were often seen driving tion was not only to read Greek, but also to in the Prater with coachmen in liveries of carry the empress's spare skirt. She walked, state and the empress's favorite dogs filling clad in "a black serge gown of so simple a the seats of honor with great dignity. The character that do well-to-do tradeswoman back seats were oocupied by old and faith would care to be seen in it"; and she often ful retainers, also in full livery. They had l changed her skirt in the midst of her peram- Elizabeth of Austria Elizabeth, Queen 176 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES bulations, behind trees, or any other screen | over the palace, the girl-queen had to submit which the landscape afforded, while the reader to a disguised lecture from her mother-in- dutifully looked the other way. Sometimes law, who requested her, in the presence of the too she perambulated the streets of Paris whole court, to conform herself hencefor- with equal recklessness. Once, M. Paoli re ward to the customs of the household.- calls, she went to see Notre Dame by moon HENRI DE WEINDEL, "The Real Francis Jo- light and insisted upon being taken after- seph." wards to eat onion soup at a café.-FRANCIS The empress was very superstitious and GRIBBLE, "The Life of the Emperor Francis occasionally, when I had exhausted the gossip Joseph.” of Vienna, she would make me put the white Often in the early hours of the morning of an egg in a glass of water and together she would glide out of the palace, either at we would try to read omens in the shapes Vienna or Buda-Pesth, to proceed on errands which it took. Elizabeth invariably made of mercy, accompanied by a trusted and con three bows to a magpie whenever she saw fidential attendant. Elizabeth has never one, and the new moon afforded her the oc- known fear. Alone she penetrated into the casion to indulge in any longed-for wish. The darkest, poorest and roughest quarters-— empress firmly believed in the virtues of quarters where were huddled together the cold iron and she never passed nails or fierce and half-starved multitudes who make cast horseshoes without picking them up; revolutions and who breed anarchy. She the Evil Eye inspired her with real dread was perfectly safe among them. No one and she feared the malign influence of those knew who she was; but her courage, her who possessed it.-COUNTESS MARY LARISCH, gentleness and her open-hearted generosity “My Past," copyright, G. P. Putnam's Sons. caused the wretched creatures whom she It happened one evening that she was visited to regard her in the light of an angel. riding in the suburbs of Buda-Pesth, accom- They never suspected that the kind lady who succored their cruel need was the cold, proud panied by a lady-in-waiting, when they passed a lonely hut in the outskirts, at a and haughty sovereign who was taxed with little distance from the high road, from which heartlessness and indifference by both hig!ı fearful screams were heard interspersed with and low in the great country over which her cries for help in the voice of a woman, who husband reigns.-One of the Ladies of her was apparently in the greatest danger. Act- Court, Harper's Magazine, June, 1893. ing on the impulse of the moment, Elizabeth A few hours after her return from the sprang from her horse and hastened to the Moravian trip she wished to have a moment door of the hut, followed by her companion. alone with her husband and left her apart They burst open the door and found them- ments to go to the private study in which selves in a low, dirty room, where a gigantic, she knew she would find Francis Joseph by brigand-like fellow was dragging a female himself. In the antechamber an usher over the floor by her long filthy hair and stopped her and, in the presence of several administering at intervals a series of violent courtiers who had followed her, respectfully blows. The queen struck him across the face barred the way to the door of the imperial with her riding whip and the man was so study. What did he mean? she inquired. utterly astonished by her sudden appearance She was going to her husband and expected and her vigorous attack, that he instantly let to be allowed to pass. “I beg your majesty's go his victim to stare in amazement at the pardon,” said the usher with a ceremonious intruder. But the next moment the astonish- bow, “but your majesty cannot enter into ment of Elizabeth was greater still, when the the presence of his majesty the emperor with- woman under punishment sprang up and out being announced.” As Elizabeth pro- rushed upon her with the fury of a tigress tested and tried to pass on, a gentleman-in- waiting came forward and corroborated what while she overwhelmed the stranger with a torrent of abuse couched in the coarsest lan- the usher had said. Vexed, ashamed and hurt, the young empress was compelled to guage of the slums, because she had dared to wait, feeling all the while that the courtiers strike her husband. The queen laughed, took were laughing at her, until she had been a gold piece from her pocket and handed it to announced and could at last enter her hus. the man as she observed, “Beat her, my band's room. She complained bitterly to friend, give her the tale of blows she de. him, but the emperor took the other side and serves; she ought to have them, if only for defended the necessities of etiquette. In the her fidelity to you."-CLARA TSCHUDI, “Eliz- evening, when news of the affair had spread abeth, Empress of Austria." 177 , Queen OF THE GREAT ElizabethElizabeth of Austria Aunt Cissy once went to a masked ball, riding, she met with an adventure which accompanied by the Archduke Ludwig Victor. was at least picturesque. She was following Elizabeth and Ludwig were dressed alike in a fox in the neighborhood of Maynooth Col- yellow dominoes and no one present sus lege, Ireland. The fox, which was running pected their identity; in fact, they were taken in the direction of the college, suddenly dart- for sisters. Among the masqueraders was ed through a hole in the wall and shot into a good-looking young “hofrath,” who at the midst of a game of football. Hardly tracted the attention of the empress, and, a moment later a horse leaped over the wall, entering into the spirit of the evening, she ridden by a woman in dripping garments. In went up and spoke to him. The masquerader the pursuit of the fox Elizabeth had swum took the unknown lady to be some footlight across a river and, still following him, she favorite and, as their conversation progressed, had jumped the wall of Maynooth College he became quite interested, he suggested a pretty jump of four feet. The head of the that she should sup with him that night college was most attentive and, having noth- alone at one of the smart restaurants. “Very ing better to offer her, gave her a doctor's well,” said Elizabeth, who was entirely en robes to take the place of her wet clothes. thralled by the adventure; "I will come on Elizabeth asked to be allowed to keep the condition that you will give me your word robes, adding with her admirable tact that of honor to allow me to retain my mask.” she regretted that she could not acquire with "Certainly," said the enamored gentleman. || the robes the knowledge of the pupils of the The empress then asked her "sister” to await college.-HENRI DE WEINDEL. her return at a certain place and left the ball room with her admirer. True to his ELIZABETH, 1533-1603. Queen of England. promise the "hofrath” never attempted to [April, 1581.] When she was crossing the force Elizabeth to disclose her identity, al gangway to go on board the Pelican one of though he had really fallen in love with her her purple and gold garters slipped down when the time came to say good-by. The and trailed behind her, whereupon Marcha- empress promised to meet him the next day, mount, who followed, seized it as a lawful but naturally she never kept the appointment. prize to send to his master [Duc d'Alençon). Her romantic tendencies and the remem | The queen besought him to return it to her, brance caused Elizabeth to send her admirer as she had nothing else to prevent her stock- an affectionate letter every year, signed "The ing from slipping down; but the gallant Yellow Domino," but the curiosity of the Frenchman refused to surrender it until she recipient was never gratified by finding out promised to restore it to him as soon as she who the writer was. These letters were returned to Westminster. She made no ado posted in different parts of Europe and the about putting on the garter before him and last one was mailed by one of my cousins at the next day Monsieur de Mery was started Rio de Janeiro.-COUNTESS LARISH. off hastily to the lovelorn "frog," again bear- , ing with him a letter of high-flown affection The empress was extremely generous and from the queen and the precious garter from her generosity was manifested in the most Marchamount. [November 21, 1581.] She delicate ways. Whenever, in her walks, she unhesitatingly replied to Castlenau, “You found a humble cottage hidden away among may write this to the king: that the duke of the olives in some corner of the mountain, she Alençon shall be my husband," and at the would enter, question the peasants who lived same time she turned to Alençon and kissed there, take the little children on her knee him on the mouth, drawing a ring from her and, fearing that the bold offer of money own hand and giving it to him as a pledge. might offend the hostess, she would think Alençon gave her a ring of his in return and up some charming subterfuge; she would ask to taste their fruit and would pay them shortly afterwards the queen summoned the ladies and gentlemen from the presence cham- royally, or she would buy several quarts of ber to the gallery, repeating to them in a milk or dozens of eggs, asking to have them loud voice in Alençon's presence what she brought to the hotel the next morning.– had previously said. (January 1, 1582.] The XAVIER PAOLI, McClure's Magazine, January, 1910. duke (Alençon] acquitted himself well in the tourney and the queen, before all the com- The wandering empress also visited Great pany, embraced him again and again for his Britain, where she made many friends among gallantry. (January 22, 1582.] After all the aristocracy. Here again it was sport this preparation the queen gave him her final that attracted her-to wit, fox hunting. In reply. Calais and Havre must both be gar- one of these hunts, which involve much hard risoned with Englishmen as a security to her Elizabeth, Queen 178 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that the king of France would fulfil all his She often asked the ladies around promises. Alençon could hardly believe his her chamber if they loved to think of mar- ears. Was she in earnest, he asked, and was riage, and the wise ones did well conceal this the final reply? Certainly, replied the | their liking thereto, knowing the queen's queen, and she could give no other, and Alen | judgment in the matter. Sir Matthew Run- çon, thunderstruck, flung out of the room in del's fair cousin, not knowing 80 deeply as & rage, now thoroughly undeceived. (Feb her fellows, was asked one day hereof and ruary 1, 1582.) The queen on one occasion simply said she had thought much about told him that he would be away only three marriage, if her father did consent to the weeks and should then come back and marry man she loved. “You seem honest, i' faith," her; the castle of Dover was all ready, she said the queen; "I will sue for you to your said, being prepared for his reception when father,” at which the damsel was well he returned; and although he smiled at this pleased; and when her father, Sir Robert and feigned pleasure, he was no sooner alone Arundel, came to the court, the queen ques- with Marchamount than he burst into an tioned him about his daughter's marriage agony of tears, swore that he would only and pressed him to give consent if the match live to be revenged on her, if he had to make were discreet. Sir Robert, much astonished, friends with his brother for the sake of doing said he never had heard his daughter had it. ... Every demonstration the queen could | a liking to any man, but he would give free make was made. She went with him as far consent to whatever was most pleasing to her as Canterbury, weeping copiously all the way. highness's will and advice. “Then I will On taking leave of him she cast herself about do the rest," said the queen. The lady was his neck and asked him not to go until they called in and told by the queen that her learned whether there was any danger from father had given his free consent. “Then," the Spaniards at Antwerp as was reported. replied the simple girl, “I shall be happy, and She gave him a personal present of twenty- please your grace." "So thou shalt, but not five thousand pounds when she left him and to be a fool and marry," said the queen. "I told him that a wound on his little finger have his consent given to me and I vow thou would pierce her heart. The scales, how shalt never get it in thy possession. So, go to ever, were gradually falling from the prince's thy business; I see thou art a bold one, to eyes, for before he went Marchamount, who own thy foolishness so readily.”-AGNES stayed in England, was instructed to make STRICKLAND, “The Queens of England,” quot. approaches for his marriage with the wealthy | ing John Harington. daughter of the Duke of Florence.-MARTIN When the learned Bishop Godwin in his HUME, “The Courtships of Queen Elizabeth.” old age wedded a wealthy widow of London, Effectually to disabuse Elizabeth's mind she expressed the most lively scorn and indig- in regard to stories current, attributing to nation at his conduct, it having been reported him a spinal deformity, the duke [d'Anjou] that he had wedded a girl only twenty years old. condescended to submit himself one day to The Earl of Bedford, being present the queen's scrutiny clad in a tight jerkin when these tales were told, said merrily to of flesh-colored silk.-MARTHA WALKER the queen, after his dry manner, "Madam, I FREER, “Henry III.” know not how much the woman is above twenty, but I know a son of hers who is little But Katherine (Grey) had the temerity, under forty.” But this rather marred than at least so Hertford afterwards alleged, to mended the matter, for one said the sin was wear the coif known as "frozen paste," under greater and others told of three sorts of mar. her hood; it may be remarked here that her riages-of God's making, of man's making sister, Lady Jane Grey, had worn a similar and of the devil's making. Of God's making coif--not unlike a nun's--at her execution. as when Adam and Eve, two folks of suitable This close-fitting cap, which entirely con- age, were coupled; of man's making, as of cealed the hair, was worn by all married Joseph and Our Lady, and of the devil's mak- women, even if young, and is said to have ing, when two old folks marry, not for com- been one of the reasons why Elizabeth re- fort, but for covetousness-and such, they fused to marry. She wished her subjects al. said, was this. Yet the bishop, with tears in ways to enjoy the privilege of admiring her his eyes protested, "that he took not the lady magnificent hair. The fashion evidently came for a spouse but only to guide his house." from Germany, “froze" being an Anglicized The queen was, however, irrevocably offended version of "frau's."-RICHARD DAVEY, "The and to show her displeasure she stripped the Sisters of Lady Jane Grey." | before impoverished see of Bath and Wells of 179 Elizabeth, Queen OF THE GREAT the rich manor of Wiveliscombe for ninety Among other popular customs Queen aine years.--AGNES STRICKLAND, "The Queens Elizabeth was wont to honor Greenwich fair of England.” with her presence. On one of these occasions On Elizabeth'o visit to Norwich we find she came riding on a pillion behind her favor- unusual pains taken in withdrawing all mat- ite master of the horse, Leicester, and the ters offensive to the eye or nostril. Work people not only greeted her, as was their cus- men are hired from Lynn and Yarmouth, the tom, when she appeared among them, with pillory and cage removed, St. John's church- rapturous acclamations, but, in their eagerness yard wall pulled down and rebuilt, "the muck to get near her, to catch a look, a word or hill at Brazen Doors demolished" and the nar- perhaps to snatch a jeweled button or aiglet row way at St. Giles's Gate enlarged by cast. from her dress, thronged her majesty almost ing down the hills; every innkeeper is or- to suffocation. Her noble equerry then, as a dered to have a horse always ready for the matter of necessity, used his riding whip very post; no cows are to be brought into the city, smartly, to drive the boldest of them back; no scourers to use any wash, no grocer to whereupon her majesty graciously interposed try any tallow, etc., during her majesty's ever and anon, crying, “Prithee, my lord, take abode. When the queen came to Sandwich heed that thou hurt not my loving people. the hogs were banished to "certain appointed Pray, my lord, do not hurt any of my loving places,” butchers enjoined to carry their offal people.” But when, in obedience to these to the "farthest groyne head till after her tender remonstrances, he desisted and she highness's departure," and brewers to “have found herself incommoded by the pressure of good beer against her coming."—Quarterly the crowd and her progress impeded, she said Review, July, 1829, quotations from JOHN to the earl in a low voice, “Cut them again, Nichols's “Elizabeth." my lord! Cut them again!"-AGNES STRICK- Queen Elizabeth was engaged at her de. LAND, “The Queens of England.” votions in Greenwich church when she heard When the dean of St. Paul's in a sermon the distant report of the Archduke Albert's preached before Queen Elizabeth had spoken cannon, thundering thick and fast on Calais; with some disapprobation of the sign of the and, starting up, she interrupted the service, cross, she called aloud to him from her closet by issuing her royal command that a thou to desist from the ungodly digression and re- sand men should be instantly impressed for turn to his text.-The Gentleman's Magazine, the relief of the town. January, 1822, citing Warner and Macdiar- mid. Negotiations for succor were continued and Elizabeth offered, on certain conditions, During the early part of her reign, Sun- tending to the same object, to raise eight day being regarded principally as a holiday, thousand men for Henry's relief. “By whom the queen selected that day especially for the are they to be commanded ?” inquired the representation of plays at court, and by her monarch of Sir Anthony Mildmay, the Eng. license Burbage authorized dramatic perform- lish Ambassador. “By the Earl of Essex," ances at the public theater on Sundays only, replied the envoy. "Her majesty,” rejoined out of the hours of prayer. Five years after, Henry with a sarcastic smile, “can never al- Gosson, in his School of Abuse, complains low her cousin of Essex to be absent from her that the players “because they are allowed cotillon.” When Elizabeth was informed of to play every Sunday, make four or five Sun- this impertinent observation, she wrote a days at least every week.” To limit this letter to Henry containing but four lines, abuse, an order was issued by the privy coun- which so moved the fiery temper of the Royal cil, in 1591, prohibiting plays from being pub- Gascon that he had scarcely made himself licly acted on Thursdays; because on that day master of their import ere he raised his hand bear-baiting and similar pastimes had usually with intent to strike the ambassador by been practised; and, in an injunction to the whom the letter was presented to him, but Lord Mayor, four days after, the representa- contented himself by ordering him to leave tion of plays on Sundays was utterly con- the room. It is to be hoped that this charac- demned; and it is further complained that teristic billet-doux will one day be brought to on "all other days of the week, in divers light, as it would be far better worth reading places, the players do use to recite their plays, than her more classical epistles. The next to the great hurt and destruction of the game time Henry sued for her assistance in recov. of bear-baiting and like pastimes which are ering his good town of Calais she refused to maintained for her majesty's pleasure." aid him in any other way than by her The royal virgin now being in her thir- prayers. | tieth year, was so annoyed on account of cer- Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth of Russia 180 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES tain ill-favored likenesses of her gracious EMILY LAWLESS, “The Nineteenth Century countenance, which had obtained general cir: 1 and After," January, 1901. culation, that her minister Cecil drew up and She detested as ominous all dwarfs and published a proclamation stating that none monsters and seldom could be induced to be- of her portraits hitherto published came up stow an appointment, either civil or ecclesias- to the original; that she had resolved, by the tical, on a mean-looking, ugly man. “She advice of her council, to procure an exact always,” said Lord Bacon, “made sedulous in- likeness from the pen of some "cunning quiries regarding the moral qualifications of painter," and that therefore she strictly for- any candidate for preferment and then con- bade any one to publish new portraits of her sidered his mien and appearance. Upon one “person and visage” without license, or to of these occasions she observed to me, 'Bacon, sell or exhibit the old ones until they had how can the magistrate maintain his author- been remodeled according to the correct like- ity, if the man be despised ?" "My Lord Ba- ness to be forthwith published by authority. con's soul lodgeth well,” she observed one day, -FRANCIS LANCELOTT, “Queens of England.” after contemplating the ample brow of her “30 July, 1596. A Warrant to Her Maj lord keeper. She always forbade her gouty esties Serjeant Painter, and to all publickly premier to rise or stand in her presence, when officers, to yielde him their assistance, touch she saw that he was suffering from the mal- ing the abuse committed by divers unskillfull ady, with the facetious remark, "My lord, we artisans, in unseemly and improperly paint nake use of you, not for your bad legs, but for inge, gravinge and printinge of her Majesties your good head."-STRICKLAND. person and vysage, to her Majesties great of- When Queen Elizabeth's wrinkles waxed fence, and disgrace of that beautiful and mag- deep and many it is reported that an unfortu- nanimous majesty wherewith God has blessed nate master of the mint incurred disgrace by her. Requiring them to cause all suche to be a too faithful shilling; the die was broken defaced and none to be allowed, but such as and only one mutilated specimen is now in her Majesties Serjeant Paynter shall first existence. Her maids of honor took the hint have sight of. The mynute remayning in the and were thenceforward careful that no frag. Counsell Chest." The undated proclamation ment of looking-glass should remain in any undoubtedly grew out of this solemn proceed- room in the palace. In fact, the lion-hearted ing of the privy council for the concealment lady had not heart to look herself in the face of the queen's increasing wrinkles at sixty- for the last twenty years of her life.—Quar- four.--Notes and Queries, February 15, 1868. terly Review, October, 1828. As for the royal table of Elizabeth, noth In the course of the spring LaMotte ing could surpass the solemn order in which brought her another gift of three night caps, it was laid out, or the number of triple worked by her royal captive, but a delay took genuflections which accompanied every move- place regarding them and they were for a ment of the royal waiters; but all this was time left on the hands of the ambassador, for only for show, as the meat was finally taken Elizabeth declared "that great commotions off the table into an inner room, where the and jealousies had taken place in the privy queen herself dined in the utmost privacy and council, because she had accepted the gifts of simplicity.-ECCLESTON'S Introduction to the Queen of Scots.” Finally she accepted the "English Antiquities.” night caps, with this characteristic speech to A tale may be found in one of Lord Sus- La Motte: “Tell the queen of Scots that I am older than she is; and when people arrive at sex's letters with regard to a new dress be- my age they take all they can get with both longing to one of her maids of honor, over the hands and only give with their little finger.” possession of which the owner had been rash -AGNES STRICKLAND. enough to exhibit some elation. The young lady, it seems, was several inches taller than We sometimes find the great Tudor queen her majesty-hardly, perhaps, not quite a sitting familiarly beside her favorite while nice or loyal thing to be. Having desired he smoked, chatting, laughing and laying that the dress should be made over to her wagers. Once she objected to him that with custody, the queen, first selecting an extreme all his ingenuity he could not tell the weight ly wet day, was pleased to put it on and trail of smoke. "Your majesty must excuse me," it for yards behind her in the mud, the replied Raleigh, "for the thing is quite easy." owner of the humiliated garment having to Elizabeth was incredulous and laid a bet that appear as delighted with the royal fun and he could not do what he said. “Your majesty condescension as the rest of the lookers-on.- | shall be the judge,” he answered and, send. 181 Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth of Russia OF THE GREAT ing for a small quantity of tobacco and weigh- ning of the present century, in the shape of ing it in her presence, he put it into a silver a hunting lodge in Huntingfield, built round pipe, which probably had a capacious bowl, six straight, massy oaks, which supported the and went on smoking until the whole was roof of the great hall as they grew. Here she consumed; then placing the ashes in the was entertained by Lord Hunsdon and shot scales and weighing them, he pointed out to a buck with her own hand from a tree which Elizabeth that the difference indicated the was long after known as the Queen's oak.- weight of the smoke. The queen laughingly Quarterly Review, April, 1887. paid the money, saying, in allusion to the al- Allusions to her age were not likely to chemists, that she had heard of many who be hazarded in her presence, except through turned their gold into smoke, but till then inadvertence, as in the instance reported to never knew any one who could turn smoke his master by the Scotch ambassador, Lord into gold.—JAMES A. ST. JOIN, "Life of Sir Semple of Beltheis in 1599, and quoted by Walter Raleigh.” Miss Strickland. “At her majesty's return Queen Elizabeth could now and then from Hampton Court, the day being passing brook a smart rejoinder. It is reported that foul, she would, as the custom is, go on horse- she once saw in her garden a certain gentle back, although she is still able scarce to sit man to whom she had held out hopes of pre upright, and my Lord Lunsden said, 'It was ferment, which he discovered were slow of not meet for one of her majesty's years to realization. Looking out of her window, her ride in such a storm. She answered in great majesty said to him in Italian, "What does a anger, 'My years! Maids, to your horses man think of, Sir Edward, when he thinks of quickly,' and so rode all the way, not vouch- nothing ?” The answer was, "He thinks, safing any gracious countenance to him for Madame, of a woman's promise." Whereupon two days.”-Quarterly Review, June, 1854. the queen drew back her head, but was heard ELIZABETH, 1709-1762. Empress of Rus- to say, "Well, Sir Edward, I must not argue sia. with you; anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.”—T. F. THISELTON-DYER, The death of my father was announced to “Royalty in All Ages." me. It greatly afflicted me. For a week I was allowed to weep as much as I pleased, The literal sense [of Elizabeth's reply to but at the end of that time Madame Tchoglo- Philip II. of Spain] is, “Your order, good koff came to tell me that I had wept enough; king, shall be obeyed in the days when the that the empress ordered me to leave off; that Greeks reckoned by kalends," meaning never, my father was not a king. I told her that I for kalends were not known among the Greeks knew he was not a king and she replied that and she shrewdly appoints a time past for the it was not suitable for a grand duchess to performance of that which is yet to be done. mourn for a longer period a father who had Horace Walpole extols this classic jest as one not been a king. In fine, it was arranged of the most brilliant of the maiden monarch's that I should go out the following Sunday impromptu repartees, but it certainly re- and wear mourning for six weeks.-CATHER- quires a little explanation to render it intel- INE II., “Memoirs.” ligible to persons less accustomed to the Her majesty commanded that an heir to sharp encounter of keen wits than Philip of Spain and Queen Elizabeth.–AGNES STRICK- the throne should be forthcoming within the LAND. next twelve months. In what way the im- perial will was carried out is difficult to de- A lady who left three thousand gowns cide, though details, mostly of a scandalous behind her. ... The queen had a great kind, abound, and Catherine in her mocking, passion for foreign articles of wear. The cynical way of drollery half insinuates that new purchases of Mary Queen of Scots were she was allowed carte blanche in the selec- overhauled on their way to her prison and tion of a father for her future child.-R. NIS- Elizabeth purloined whatever she had a fancy BET BAIN, “Peter III.” for.-Quarterly Review, July, 1868. The court, at which Catherine was seek- The old approach to Kenninghall Place ing and obtaining emancipation, was an eman- in Norfolk is called Queen Bess's lane, be- cipated court, with an emancipated empress cause she was scratched by the brambles in at the head of it. One may help one's self riding through it.-Quarterly Review, July, to form some notion of its tone by recalling 1829. that one of Elizabeth's favorite diversions A curious relic of Queen Elizabeth's was to arrange dances at which the men sporting proclivities remained till the begin- | were required to wear skirts and the women Elizabeth of Russia Ellonborough, Lord 182 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to wear breeches, her idea being that she K. WALISZEW&KI, “The Romance of an Em- herself looked well in broeches, whereas other press" women looked ridiculous in them. At another It was treated as a crime against the court entertainment the women were required state if any lady presumed to wear dresses of to appear in wigs with shaven heads.-FRAN- the same pattern as those of the empress, to CIS GRIBBLE, “The Comedy of Catherine the receive the newest French fashions before she Great." did. When she died there were found in her When we were at Moscow, in the year wardrobe between fifteen and sixteen thou- 1744, the empress took a fancy to have the gand dresses, some of which had been worn court masquerades so arranged that all the but once and many never; two large chest- men should dress as women and all the wom fuls of silk stockings, two others of ribands, en as men, no masks being worn. It was pre some thousand pairs of shoes and several hun- cisely a court day metamorphosed. The men dred pieces of French and other rich stuffs. wore large whale-boned petticoats, with wom These were neither given away nor sold, but en's gowns and the head-dresses worn on court left undisturbed until they were spoiled.- days, while the women appeared in the court WALTER K. KELLY, “History of Russia." costumes of men. The men did not like these She used several bedrooms, so that no reversals of their sex and the greater part assassin might know where she meant to of them were in the worst possible humor on sleep on any given night and often content- these occasions, because they felt themselves ed herself with lying down for a few hours on to be hideous in their disguises. The women a couch.-FRANCIS GRIBBLE, "The Comedy of looked like chubby little boys, while the more Catherine the Great.” aged among them had thick, short legs, which were anything but ornamental. The She was at once restless and indolent, only woman who looked real well was the avid of pleasure and nevertheless fond of af- empress herself. As she was very tall and fairs, spending hours over her toilette, keep- somewhat powerful, male attire suited her ing a signature or an order waiting for wonderfully well. She had the handsomest | months. The Baron de Breteuil relates, in leg I have ever seen with any man and her one of his despatches, that in 1760 she was in foot was admirably proportioned. She the act of signing the renewal of a treaty danced to perfection and everything she did concluded in 1746 with the court of Vienna, had a special grace, equally so whether she and had already written “Eli-” when a wasp dressed as a man or a woman.-CATHERINE settled on the end of her pen. She stopped II., “Memoirs.” and it was six months before she made up her mind to finish the signature.-K. WALIS- The affectation of settled furniture was ZEWSKI, "The Romance of an Empress.” then an unknown thing. The things belonged She also placed in my hands, as a pres- to the person and were taken about from ent from her imperial majesty, three thousand place to place. It was a sort of survival of the nomad life of the Eastern people. Hang- roubles, for playing faro. The ladies had noticed that I was without money and had ings, carpets, mirrors, beds, tables and chairs, told the empress.-CATHERINE II., “Mem- the luxuries and the necessities, followed the court from the Winter to the Summer Pal- ace and thence to Peterhof and sometimes to Winterfelt himself was a man of shining Moscow. It goes without saying that some gifts and character and one of the handsom- of these things got lost or damaged on the est tall men in the world. Mutual love be- tween the fräulein and himself was the re- way. This resulted in an odd mixture of sult. But how to obtain marriage? Winter- magnificence and destitution. One ate off felt cannot marry without leave had of his gold plates off lop-sided tables which had lost superiors; you, fair Malzahn, are Hofdame a leg somewhere. In the midst of master- of Princess Elizabeth, all your fortune the pieces of French or English cabinet work, jewels you wear and it is possible she will not there was nothing to sit down on. In the let you go. They agreed to be patient, to be home of the Tchoglokofis, which Catherine in- silent; to watch warily until Winterfelt gets habited for some time in Moscow, she found back to Prussia, till the fräulein Malzahn no furniture at all. Elizabeth herself was could also contrive to get home. Winterfelt often no better looked after. But she used once home, and the king's consent had, the every day a cup that Roumiantsoff had fräulein applied to Princess Elizabeth for brought from Constantinople by her order leave of absence: “A few months, to see my and which had cost eight thousand ducats.- friends in Deutschland, your highness." Prin- oirs.” 183 Elizabeth of Russia Ellenborough, Lord OF THE GREAT vess Elizabeth looked hard at her; answered caustically observed Lord Ellenborough evasively this and that. At last, being often amidst the laughter of the noble lords.The importuned, she answers plainly, “I feel al Gentleman's Magazine, September, 1842, quot- most convinced thou wilt never get back.” | ing “Law and Lawyers." Protestations from the fräulein were not While the ceremony (the wedding of wanting. “Well, then,” said Elizabeth, “if Princess Mary and the Duke of Gloucester] thou art so sure of it, leave me thy jewels was proceeding, some persons in the room, in pledge; why not?” The poor fräulein could which was extremely crowded, holding con- not say why; had to leave her jewels, which versation together, which was so loud as to were her whole fortune, “worth a hundred be disturbing, Lord Ellenborough, Chief Jus- thousand roubles (twenty thousand pounds), tice-perhaps also forgetting as well as those and is now the brave wife of Winterfelt; but noisy talkers where he was--rather disturbed could never, by direct entreaty or circuitous the ceremony by stating very audibly: “Do interest and negotiations, get back the least not make a noise in that corner of the room- item of her jewels. Elizabeth, as Princess if you do, you shall be married yourselves.” and Czarina, was alike deaf on the subject.” -LORD ELDON, "Anecdote Book.” -M. RETZOW, “Characteristics of the Seven Years' War." To a witness who was evidently perjur. ing himself he exclaimed, “You fellow, your ELLENBOROUGH, Edward Law, Baron, swearing is a waste of wickedness.” 1750-1818. Chief Justice of England. He had a sovereign contempt for rhe- Story of Lord Ellenborough saying when torical flights. "It is written in the large Lord yawned during his own speech, volume of nature," said a barrister. “At what "Come, come, the fellow does show some symp- tom of taste, but this is encroaching on our page?” gravely inquired the judge, taking up his pen. province.” An eminent conveyancer came from the What Lord Ellenborough said to the bar- king's bench, on one occasion, expressly to rister, upon his asking, in the midst of a argue a question pertaining to real estate. most boring harangue, “Is it the pleasure of Presuming on the judge's ignorance of real the court that I should proceed with my property law, he commenced, “An estate in statement?” “Pleasure has been out of the fee simple is the highest estate known to the question a long time, but you may proceed." laws of England.” “Stay, stay,” interrupted ---Thomas MOORE, “Journal.” Ellenborough; “let me write that down.” So When Lord Ellenborough was dining at he wrote and read with great gravity and a puisne judge's, having been long engaged deliberation, “An estate in fee simple is the .with him in a discussion in the drawing-room, highest estate known to the laws of England; the lady of the house stepped up and said, the court, sir, is indebted to you for the in- “Come, my lord, do give us some of your con- formation."-Albany Law Journal, June 16, versation; you have been talking law long 1870. enough,” “Madame," said the Lord Chief He and Eldon were both turned out of Justice, "we have not been talking law, nor the awkward squad of Lincoln's Inn corps for anything like law; we have been talking of awkwardness. His attempt at this legal train- one of the decisions of Lord Loughborough.” ing gave him an occasion to utter a memo- ---LORD CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Lord Chan rable jest. When the drill sergeant repri- cellors." manded the company for not preserving a Lord Ellenborough, being once met going straight front, the great judge replied, “We out of the House of Lords when Lord are not accustomed to keeping military step, was speaking, "What, are you going?" said a as this indenture witnesseth.”-Albany Law person to him. “Why, yes," answered Lord Journal, July 16, 1870. Ellenborough, “I am accountable to God Al A witness, dregsed in a fantastical man- mighty for the use of my time.”—MOORE. ner, having given very rambling and discred- Lord Darnley was once making a dull itable testimony, was asked in cross-examina- tion what he was. Witness__"I employ my- and drowsy speech about Ireland and her wrongs which lulled the House to soft re- self as a surgeon." Lord Ellenborough- pose. At length the noble orator, beginning "But does any one else employ you as a sur- himself to share in the languor of the House, geon ?”—Harper's Magazine, August, 1857. stopped short in his address to indulge him. Lord Ellenborough was once about to go self in a yawn. "There's some sense in that," on the circuit, when Lady Ellenborough said Ellenborough, Lord Eon, Chevalier 184 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES she would like to accompany him. He re that time for the matron to note upon the plied that he had no objection, provided that margin or blank leaves of the almanac any she did not encumber the carriage with band of the memorable occurrences in the daily boxes, which were his utter abhorrence. They experience of the household. One day his set off. During the first day's journey, Lord wife had recorded, as its most precious event, Ellenborough, happening to stretch his legs, and with expressions of tenderness and grati- struck his feet against something below the tude, that her husband had passed the even- seat. He discovered that it was a bandbox. ing with her and her children. This, not His indignation is not to be described. Up | many days after, fell under his eye; but he went the window and out went the bandbox. said not a word. If there was any upbraid- The coachman stopped and the footman, ing, it was all from his own heart. The same thinking that the bandbox had tumbled out evening he returned to his usual haunt and of the window by some extraordinary chance, at once announced to his friends that he had was going to pick it up when Lord Ellen come to take his parting cup with them and borough furiously called out, “Drive on.” that hereafter he should seek his evening The bandbox accordingly was left by a ditch pleasures at home. Some believed; others side. Having reached the country town where scoffed—could this be true of a man of his he was to officiate, Lord Ellenborough pro- | gaiety and spirit? But their surprise and ceeded to array himself for his appearance at boisterous ridicule he was prepared for and, the court house. "Now," said he, "where's true to his purpose and word, he left them my wig-where's my wig ?” “My lord,” re and was ever after a thoroughly domestic plied his attendant, “It was thrown out of man.- EDWARD T. CHANNING, “Sparks's Bi- the window."-SAMUEL ROGERS, "Table Talk.” | ographies.” (The London Examiner, March, 1856, says: EMERALD ISLE. The true story is, that the lady's maid, spy- ing Lord Ellenborough's wig-box among the And when he [Adrian IV.) was pontiff luggage in the hall, bethought herself what a [1155] he delighted to have me at his own shame it was that his lordship's fogy wig table and insisted, despite my resistance, should be so substantially and securely that we should dine from a common cup and lodged, while her mistress's beautiful cap platter. It was at my prayer that he gave was entrusted to a fragile bandbox. Where and conceded to the illustrious king of Eng- upon, to redress this wrong, she took the land, Henry II., Ireland to be possessed by wig out of its box, substituted Lady Ellen- hereditary right; for by ancient right, ac- borough's cap, and clapped the wig in the cording to the donation of Constantine, all bandbox. Passing over Westminster bridge, islands are said to belong to the Roman Lord Ellenborough discovered the bandbox Church. Through me, too, did he transmit a and, in spite of the prayers of Lady Ellen- golden ring, decked with a single emerald, borough, ordered the footman to pitch it into with which the king's investiture was to be the river. He is now at the assize town; completed.—JOHN OF SALISBURY, “Metalogi. the court is filled and waiting for the pre- siding judge; the chief justice, robed, asks Dr. W. Drennan (1754-1820) in his for his wig; the attendant opens the wig poem "Erin” first applied this epithet to Ire- box and, lo, instead of the wig there is land and in a footnote claims to be the in- perched coquettishly in its place a lace cap | ventor.-Notes and Queries, November 12, with smart pink ribbons, appearing pertly 1910. to challenge the chief justice, "Try me!” The truth flashes on Lord Ellenborough; he has ÉON, Charles Geneviève Louis Auguste An- cast his wig upon the waters.) dré Timothée d'Éon de Beaumont, 1728- 1810. French diplomatist and soldier. ELLERY, William, 1727-1820. Signer of There seems no reason for doubting La American Declaration of Independence. Dufour's statement that d'Eon put on female It was his custom to spend his evenings attire while hiding in her house. Hence this with a party of young friends at some place disguise-which was natural enough to one of convivial resort; and it is enough to say of his appearance—was first donned from of their amusements that they were anything sheer terror. When Beaumarchais came over but intellectual and just suited to make one's to negotiate for the papers which d'Eon still home the last place he would look to for his retained, it was probably adopted a second pleasures, and, of course, the very place where | time with the object of playing upon his sym- duty itself must soon become irksome. It pathies. We may dismiss, with Mr. Vize- was an essential part of domestic economy at telly, as a later concoction of the chevalier's, cus.” 185 Eon, Chevalier OF THE GREAT , Lord Ellenboroughthe alleged letter of Louis XV. beginning, ever, in a short time afterwards he assumed "You have served me as usefully in woman's the dress of a female and retained it till he clothes as in those you now wear. Resume died. All matters in England then turned them at once and retire into the city.” The to gambling; wagers were laid on the sub- simple solution is quite sufficient, namely, ject until at length it was proved that the that Beaumarchais and Vergennes were swift assumption of female dress was either an ec- to take him at his word. He was thus de centricity or a wilful imposture. His pen- barred from reinstatement as minister pleni. sion having been cut off by the revolution, potentiary, from future employment in the this singular person was reduced to great military or diplomatic service and even from difficulties; so much so that to raise money reviving the quarrel with Guerchy by fighting he appeared as a fencer on the stage, but a duel with his son. A pension, revocable in still appeared in woman's costume.-Black- case he declared his sex, closed his mouth for: wood's Edinburgh Magazine, March, 1852. ever. Even when the French Revolution came This day [July 1, 1777] came on to be he could not retrieve his annoying blunders. tried before the Lord Chief Justice Mans- He had associated with English ladies, was field . . . an action brought by Mr. Hayes, needy, and the disclosure would have alien- surgeon in Leicester Fields, against one ated his few remaining friends. D'Éon, there- Jacques, a broker and underwriter, for the fore, who, with greater stability of character, recovery of seven hundred pounds, the said might have rivaled Choiseul, died a pauper Mr. Jacques having about six years ago re- and a reputed woman.--The Atheneum, Feb- ceived premiums of fifteen guineas per cent. ruary 15, 1896, Reviewing ERNEST VIZETEL- | for every one of which he stood engaged to LY'S "The True Story of the Chevalier d'Éon." return one hundred guineas whenever it The (late) Chevalier d'Éon, formerly should be proved that the Chevalier d'Éon aide-de-camp to Marshal Broglio and suc was actually a woman. ... Dr. Le Goux, cessively captain of dragoons, Knight of St. a surgeon, was the first witness called. [He Louis, employed in embassies, famous for her testified to having attended the chevalier pro- political works, etc., who has often fought fessionally.] ... The second witness called with so much bravery and wielded the pen on the part of the plaintiff was Mr. De Mo- as ably as the sword, was born at Clermont randa. [His testimony was fully as conclu- Tonnere in Burgundy in the year 1728. It is sive as that of Dr. Le Goux.] ... The jury pretended that her disguise and the singular without hesitation gave the verdict for the education which she received were owing plaintiff, seven hundred pounds and forty to the caprice of her father, who was ardent- shillings. Immense sums in policies were de- ly desirous of having a boy; and, though his pending on this suit.—The Gentleman's Maga- wife lay in afterwards of a girl, the father, zine, July, 1777. still attached to his object, cried, “No matter A motion was made [January 30, 1778) for that; I will bring her up as a boy.” Her in the Court of King's Bench for an arrest of desire of returning to France induced her, it the judgment in the case of Jones and De- is said, to own her sex. She has now ap- costa, upon a wager respecting the sex of the peared, it is well known, at Paris, in all com- Chevalier d'Éon, which has been canvassed panies, dressed like a woman for the first all over Europe. Lord Mansfield, on very time in her life, and at the age of forty- good grounds, delivered his opinion in favor nine years. The Gentleman's Magazine, of the arrest of judgment, in which all the April, 1778. other judges concurred. This decision, he He had been a captain of the French said, tended to indecency and to make the dragoons and was brought to England as the courts of justice subservient to the purposes secretary of the Duke of Nivernois, who con of gamblers and swindlers.—The Gentleman's ducted the negotiations for the peace of 1763. On the duke's departure he left d'Éon minis- Madame la Chevalier d'Éon, having re- ter plenipotentiary. The Count de Guerchy, fused to obey the orders of the court to re- the new ambassador, desired him to resume. tire, and on the contrary persisting in her the post of secretary; this hurt his pride and resolution to equip herself to serve on board he quarreled with the ambassador and with the fleet, has been arrested and conducted to the English court, but was pensioned by the castle of Dijon.--The Gentleman's Maga- France. A report was spread at length that zine, April, 1778. d'Eon was actually a female; this the chev- alier fiercely denied and we believe threat The chevalier was a true bibliophile, one ened to shoot the author of the report. How-- who collected books because he loved them. 78. Erskine, Henry Erskine, Thomas 186 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ... He wrote his name or pasted his book of impressive solemnity, his eye sternly fixed plate in every one of his books and "de la the while on the white horse and its ridar, bibliothèque de la Chevalier d'Eon" is an an "was from the sixth chaptar of the Book of nouncement which one occasionally notices Revelations and the eighth verso: And I in a book which almost invariably attracts | looked, and beheld a pale horse, and his the bibliophile's attention, either by its ex- | name that sat on him was Death, and hell fol- terior beauty or by its intrinsic interest.-W. lowed with him."-ALEXANDER FERGUSSON, ROBERTS, The Gentleman's Magazine, March, | “Henry Erskine." 1896. Erskine lived on intimate terms, without ERSKINE, Henry, 1746-1817. Lord Advo- catching the infection, with his kinsman, cate of Scotland. the Earl of Kellie, who was as famous for loose living as for his musical talents or his On some such occasion, it is related, he songs. The earl was giving an amusing ac- dined with an incorporated body of tailors. count of a sermon which he had heard in a In the course of the evening they had drunk church in Italy, where the priest was expati- the health of their guest and counselor, to ating on the miracle of St. Anthony's preach- which he felt called upon to reply before leav- ing with such unction during a sea voyage ing the party. He rose to do so and, chancing that the fishes held their heads out of the wat- to notice that there were exactly eighteen of er to listen to him. “I can well believe the his entertainers, the tailors, at the table, he miracle,” said Erskine, "when your lordship concluded his speech by wishing "health, long was at church there was one fish out of water." life and prosperity to both of you." Before In a picture of the alleged miracle the listen- the meaning of the allusion had dawned upon ing lobsters were painted red, as if ready them Mr. Erskine had vanished from the boiled for the occasion. When this was ob- room. jected to the painter, he replied that it sim- On the day when the appointment changed ply made the miracle the greater.- Quarterly hands an interview took place between the Review, October, 1882. new and the old lord advocate in the Parlia- Erskine deeply felt his defeat and showed ment House. Erskine, observing that Dun- his feeling more than was usual for him. das had lost no time in divesting himself of the robe of office, having already resumed the At a public dinner at that time the chair- man proposed “the health of the gentlemen ordinary stuff gown usually worn by advo- cates, said gaily that he supposed he “ought of the faculty who had done themselves the honor of voting for Mr. Erskine's reelection to leave off talking and go and order his silk to the deanship." Erskine quietly remarked, gown," the proper garb of the Lord Advo- "Mr. President, would it not be sufficient to cate and Solicitor-General. “It is hardly propose the health of the gentlemen of the worth while,” said Dundas drily, "for the faculty?"-Westminster Review, 1883. time you will want it; you had better bor- row mine.” Erskine's reply was happy and Meeting Balfour, who was suffering from characteristic: “From the readiness with lameness, he asked what had happened and which you make the offer, Mr. Dundas, I was informed in labored and tortuous phrase- have no doubt that the gown is a gown made ology that Balfour had fallen in getting over to fit any party, but, however short my time a stile on his brother's property. “Well, in the office may be, it shall never be said of Balfour, it was a mercy that it was not Henry Erskine that he adopted the aban your own style or you would certainly have doned habits of his predecessor." broken your neck."-Quarterly Review, Octo- Arnot's views were well known to savor of ber, 1882. skepticism or something stronger. On a cer During a theatrical representation at tain occasion, returning from a Sunday after: Edinburgh a presuming young coxcomb chose noon ride on his famous white horse, he met to render himself conspicuous by standing Mr. Erskine, who had been better employed up in the middle of the pit during the prog- in attending divine service. Hugo, address. ress of the first act of the play; his neigh- ing him, called out, “Where have you been, bors were at first too polite to insist on his Harry? What has a man of your sense to do conforming to the usual regulations and mere consorting with a parcel of old women ? I ly represented to him the inconvenience those protest you could expect to hear nothing | behind him suffered, to which he paid no new," adding with an extra gneer, “Where, manner of attention; the audience at last be now, was your text?" "Our text,” replied gan to testify their displeasure and the cry Harry in a lugubrious tone and with a voice of "Turn him out!” became universal and a 187 Erskine, Honry Erskine, Thomas OF THE GREAT riot would most probably have ensued from ERSKINE, Thomas, 1750-1823. Lord Chan- the indignation of one party and the tend cellor of England. ciousness of the other, had it not been for The young subaltern was remarkable for Mr. Erskine who, laying a wager with a gen good looks and a delicate and refired cast of tleman near him, that he would accomplish features, so that it occurred to the witty the matter with a single sentence, stood up and laughter-loving Mrs. Mure, wife of Baron and, addressing himself to the persons who Mure, a relative of the Erskines, while on a were forcing compliance on the obstinate visit to Harrogate, to dress the pretty youth, exclaimed, “Leave him alone, gentle youth in lady's attire and pass him off among men; it is only a tailor resting himself”; a the company of the place as a young female roar of laughter followed the exclamation, friend whom she had been requested to intro- the efficacy of which was immediately testi- duce to the gay world. This scheme was car- fied by the disappointed object of it, whose | ried out with perfect success during a whole only motive was to impress those around him day.--ALEXANDER FERGUSSON, “Henry Er- with a high idea of his fashion and gentility. | skine.” -Literary Gazette, November, 1817. The force, the truth of his eloquent ha- Thus it is related that upon one occa- | rangue produced an impression almost un- sion, when the young lawyer had to address precedented. The court, crowded with men “the fifteen” lords in a case where the narra of distinction, was mute with astonishment. tive presented no difficulty and the evidence ... Erskine's fortune was made. As he was of the plainest, he, in all humility, began, left the court and walked down Westmin- “My lords, the facts of this case are so ex ster Hall, attorneys pressed around him with ceedingly simple, and the evidence I shall ad. briefs and fees. In the morning he was poor duce so perfectly conclusive, that I am and comparatively unknown. In the evening happy to say that I shall not need to take he was famed and in the way of making sev- up much of your lordships' time. I shall be eral thousands a year. Some one asked him very brief.” But this did not at all accord how he had the courage to speak with such with the ideas of some of the learned gentle boldness to Lord Mansfield. The answer he men on the bench, who, as soon as Mr. Er gave has been immortalized. He said: “Be- skine arose to address them, had settled them cause I thought my little ones were pluck- selves for an intellectual treat. One of their ing at my gown and I heard them saying, number, therefore, at this point entered a 'Now, father, is the time to give us bread.'” mild protest, "Hoot, Maister Harry, dinna be |-WILLIAM CHAMBERS, Chambers's Journal, brief-dinna be brief." June 6, 1874. One of the best known stories of Mr. About the cut and curls of his wig, their Erskine, without which no sketch of him | texture and color, he was very particular, would be complete, refers to an occasion and the hands which he extended toward when, after a long and silent walk by the British juries were always cased in lemon- side of his friend, Lord Balmuto burst into colored kid gloves.-Albany Law Journal, a roar of laughter, exclaiming, “I hae ye noo, March 31, 1872. Harry; I hae ye noo!” The meaning of one Erskine, like many characters of pecu- of Erskine's good things uttered in court liar liveliness, had a morbid sensibility to had just dawned upon him and he did not the circumstances of the moment, which some- easily get over his delight and continued to chuckle and murmur at intervals, “I hae ye times strangely enfeebled his presence of noo,” all the way home. mind; any appearance of neglect in his audi- ence, a cough, a yawn or a whisper, even This Professor Wilkie [tutor of Henry among the mixed multitude of the courts, Erskine] was well known to be absent-minded and strong as he was there, has been known to an extraordinary degree. Henry Erskine to dishearten him visibly. This trait was so used to relate that upon one occasion Wilkie notorious, that a solicitor whose only merit met in the street one of his former pupils. was a remarkably vacant face was said to be "I was very sorry, my dear boy," said he; often planted opposite to Erskine by the ad- "you have had the fever in your family; was verse party, to yawn when the advocate be- it you or your brother who died of it?" "It gan. was me," was the reply. "Ah, dear me, I Erskine's well-known habit of talking to thought 80-very sorry for it-very sorry for himself often brought the jest of the table it.”-ALEXANDER FERGUSSON, "Henry Er against him. He was once panegyrizing his skine." own humanity: “There,” said he, "for in- Erskine, Thomas Eugénie, Empress 188 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES stance, is my dog; I wish it to be happy in scribe”-here the reader had to turn over this life; I wish it to be happy in the other. the leaf-“myself your obedient servant.” Like the Indian, I wish that wherever I may Lord Campbell, in his “Lives of the Chancel- go my faithful dog shall bear me company." lors,” gives a different version of this story "And a confoundedly unlucky dog he would and makes Erskine's letter an answer to Sir be," murmured Jekyll.–GEORGE CROLY, “Life John Sinclair, who proposed that a testi- of George IV.” monial should be presented to himself by the British nation.—LLOYD SANDERS, “Holland Lord Erskine was fond of alluding to his ancestors and once, on a trial relating to a House Circle." knee buckle, he held it up to the jury, ex Erskine, though old and feeble, spoke claiming: "How would my ancestors have ad- several times, always elegantly, gently and mired this specimen of ingenuity!” Mingay, with liveliness, and once or twice disclosed who was opposed to him, replied, “Gentlemen, gleams of his better days. He showed also you heard to-day of my learned friend's an- that his strange old superstition still sur- cestors and of their probable astonishment at vived. He repeated the story of having seen his knee buckle. But, gentlemen, I can as- and talked to his mother's gardener or his sure you that their astonishment would have ghost after he was dead, and said not merely been equally great at his breeches."- Quar- with gravity but with intense sincerity that terly Review, October, 1882. since he had come to Edinburgh he had stood Crossing Hampstead Heath, he saw a on the very spot in the High-street where the ruffianly driver most unmercifully pummel interview took place.--HENRY COCKBURN, ing a miserable bare-boned pack-horse, and, | “Memorials of His Times.” remonstrating with him, received this answer, “Why, it's my own, mayn't I use it as I He was scrupulous about his attire and liked to be familiar with the court room be- please?” As the fellow spoke, he discharged fore he made his formal appearance there. a fresh shower of blows on the raw back of the beast. Erskine, much irritated by this He was unquestionably an orator. So consum- brutality, laid two or three sharp strokes of mate was his art that in the peroration of his walking stick over the shoulders of the one of his greatest addresses he affected to have lost his voice and to be able only to cowardly offender, who, crouching and grum- whisper to the jury for the last ten minutes, bling, asked him what business he had to from which misfortune he recovered as soor touch him with his stick. “Why," replied as he heard of the verdict favorable to his Erskine, “my stick is my own; mayn't I use client and addressed the crowd outside, ex- it as I please?" horting them to moderation. "I am now very busy flying my boy's kite, shooting with the bow and arrow, and Cobbett describes one of his parliamentary talking to an old Scotch gardener ten hours a harangues as lasting thirteen hours, eighteen day, about the same things, which, taken all minutes and a second, and ending with the together, are not the value or importance of a dignified climax: "I was born free and, by Birmingham halfpenny, and am scarcely up God, I will remain so." He also announces, to the exertion of reading the daily papers. "On Monday three weeks we shall have the How much happier it would be for England extreme satisfaction of laying before the pub- and the world if the king's ministers were lic a brief analysis of the above address, our employed in a course so much more innocent letter founder having entered into an agree- than theirs and so perfectly suited to their ment to furnish a fresh font of I's.”-Albany capacities.”—LORD CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Law Journal, September 25, 1875. Lord Chancellors of England.” ESKGROVE, David Rae, 1723-1804. Lord Captain Parry, the Arctic navigator, din President of the Court of Sessions of Scot- ing in the hall one day, complained that he land. and his crew, when frozen up in the Polar As usual with stronger heads than his regions, had nothing to eat but seals. “And everything then was connected by his ter- very good living too,” replied Erskine, "if you | ror with republican horrors. I heard him in can only keep them long enough.”- EDWARD condemning a tailor to death for murdering WALFORD, "Life of Thomas Erskine.” [Erskine a soldier by stabbing him, aggravate the of- was Lord Keeper of the Seals.) fense thus: “And not only did you murder There is his famous answer to a beg. | him, whereby he was be-reaved of his life, but ging letter: “Sir, I feel much honored by l you did thrust, or push, or pierce, or project, your application to me and I beg to sub-| the le-thal weapon through the belly-band of 189 Erskine, Thomag OF THE GREAT Eugénie, Empress his regiment-al breeches, which were his maj regarded, he concluded to send in his resig. esty's!” nation to the emperor, but, before doing so, he called upon Mademoiselle de Montijo to A very common arrangement of his logic to juries was this: "And so, gentle-men, hav- pay her his respects officially. He had scarce- ly spoken when she said, “You will permit ing shown you that the panel's argument is utterly impossibill, I shall now proceed to me to thank you, and very sincerely, for the show you that it was extremely improbabill." advice you have given to the emperor in respect to his marriage. Your advice to him He had to condemn two or three persons was exactly the same as mine.” “The em- to die who had broken into a house at Luss peror has betrayed me I see," said the min- and assaulted Sir James Colquhoun and oth ister. “No; the honorable recognition of ers and robbed them of a large sum of money. your sincerity-the making me acquainted He first, as was his constant practise, ex with the opinion of a devoted servant who plained the nature of the various crimes, as- has given utterance to my own sentiments sault, robbery and hamesucken-of which last this is no betrayal. I told the emperor, as he gave them the etymology, and he then re you did, that the interests of his throne minded them that they had attacked the should be taken into consideration; but it is house and the persons within it and robbed not for me to be his judge, whether he is them and then came this climax: "All this right or wrong, in believing that his inter- you did, and, God preserve us, just when they ests can be reconciled with his sentiments.” were sitten doon to their denner.” It is hardly necessary to add that M. Drouyn He very rarely failed to signalize himself de Lhuys promptly reversed his opinion con- in passing sentences of death. It was almost cerning Mademoiselle de Montijo, and re- a matter of style with him to console the tained his portfolio.—DR. THOMAS W. EVANS, prisoner by assuring him that “whatever yur "The Second Empire.” religi-ous persuashon may be, there are plenty The hunt over and dinner at the châ- of rever-end gentlemen who will be most teau finished, all clamored for children's happy for to show you the way to eternal games. Even Napoleon was infected with life.” the spirit of the evening and they played the In the trial of Glengarry for a duel a usual pranks. At the end the empress sud- lady of great beauty was called as a witness. denly produced from her pockets handfuls of She came into court veiled. But before ad- flour and scattered it over the rest of the ministering the oath, Eskgrove gave her this company. Clearly she had found it impos- exposition of her duty: “Young woman, you sible to crush all the mischief of her girlhood will now consider yourself as in the presence at the bidding of etiquette. Another story of Almighty God, and of this high court. is told of an escapade at Biarritz when she Lift up your veil; throw off all modesty and and a few others concealed themselves behind look me in the face."-LORD HENRY Cock- a wall in the front of an empty house and BURN, "Memorials of His Time.” hit unsuspecting passersby with switches, un- til one irate victim thought of breaking into EUGÉNIE, Marie de Montijo de Guzman, the house, whereupon the guilty parties with 1826. . Empress of France. some difficulty got over another wall in time The empress held many titles and belonged to avoid detection.-PHILIP W. SERGEANT, to a country where they are very plentiful “The Last Empress of the French." and also often absurd. Could there be any. "I no longer remember the year, but we thing more ridiculous than such titles as Mar- were at Fontainebleau in the spring time. quis of the Lover's Rock, Marquis of Egg. We were engaged in a paper chase and the shell (Algara), Marquis of the Calves's Grot- man who is called the fox had done his work to (Gueva de Becerros), Count of the Castle so well that we, who were the hounds, had of Sparks and Viscount of the Deep Bay of strayed a long way from the château and Royal Fidelity ?-all of which may still be were utterly tired out with running. I still found in Spain.--LE PETIT HOMME ROUGE seem to feel my poor legs scarcely bearing (Ernest Alfred Vizetelly), “Court Life of the my weight, while the empress, wearing high Second Empire." heels, was obviously exhausted. Suddenly I One of the persons who had most ear- | saw the Count de Castelbajac and another nestly opposed the emperor's marriage with man, perhaps the Marquis de Toulongeon, Mademoiselle de Montijo was M. Drouyn de bringing forth a long branch from one of the Lhuys, the Minister of Foreign Affairs. On trees. Going down on their knees and plac- finding that his counsel had been entirely dis.. ing the bough between them they invited the Eugénie, Empress Evarts, William M. 190 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES empress to take her seat upon it. This she orders that Mme. de Wagner was to take off really did and rode it astride at that. Cer: her golden wig at once and never come to tainly she is a plucky woman, for she rode the palace in it again. M. de Pienn. per. back the whole way to the château like this, suaded the astonished old lady (who had without uttering a single sigh or complaint. expected to be much admired) to take the - PRINCESS CAROLINE MURAT, "Demoirs.” wig back to the coiffeur from whom she had purchased it.–VIZETELLY. One day, as she walked through her apartments, accompanied by Colonel Verly, American ladies were always well re- she stopped to gaze out upon the guardsman ceived by her, and her balls were sometimes who was mounting sentry under the window, called by the envious Bals Americains. If motionless as a statue, for thus were the the embassy desired one or two presenta- sentries trained to stand. After gazing at tions beyond the usual number, the inquiry him for a while she burst out laughing and, was generally made, “Is it a young and turning to the colonel of the regiment, she pretty woman?” and, if it were, there was said, “You must admit, my dear Verly, that no difficulty, for the empress was pleased to this imperturbable rigidity of your men is have her balls set off by beautiful and well- only a make-believe and that it would require dressed women.-Chambers's Journal, Janu- very little to make them move.” “Will your ary 5, 1878. majesty test the fact ?" replied the command Her majesty expressed a wish to have ing officer. “Supposing I insulted him?" she some Scotch traveling dresses, such as she had said. "Your majesty is mistress of your own seen during her visit to the Highlands. The actions, but I will answer for my man.” Minister of Foreign Affairs undertook the There and then she proceeded to test the sol commission and sent the order at once to dier and, frowning upon him with a hard ex- the French consul at Edinburgh, who replied pression in her eyes, she proceeded to in that in ten days the box would reach the veigh against him on some question of disci- French embassy in London. The given delay pline. The sentry may have been taken un elapsed, but no tidings of the costumes aware by the suddenness of this avalanche, reached Paris. His excellency telegraphed but at any rate he displayed no signs of emo- to the French ambassador, who in turn tele- tion. Erect, motionless, like a marble statue graphed to the French consul at Edinburgh, he stood presenting arms. The undeserved and received the following reply: “The boxes words of reproach seemed to glide off his have not yet arrived.” “What boxes?” was tunic. Seeing that she had failed to move telegraphed back from the French embassy. him by word of mouth, she smote him on the "Why, the boxes containing the costumes cheek and proceeded on her way. On the mor- | ordered from Paris.” The Scotch costumes row she inquired his name and sent him a gift the empress had admired had come from of twenty pounds in atonement for the in | Paris and none such were to be had in Edin- sult she had inflicted upon him, but for once | burgh, or had ever been made in that capital. she met a model soldier. He caused the | ANTHONY B. North PEAT, “Gossip from money to be returned to the empress with a Paris.” note from him to the effect that he was only "Saint Teresa was one of my ancestors." too happy to have harbored on his face the This was said thoughtlessly but it expressed hand of his beloved sovereign.-F. LOLIÉE, the pride that Eugénie de Montijo displayed "The Life of an Empress.” when speaking of her forefathers. "How was The empress passes her time in breaking that, your majesty ?” “Why, through dif: in ponies and hanging new pictures about ferent alliances contracted during the twelfth her rooms.--COUNT DE VIEL CASTEL, “Mem- and fourteenth centuries between the Monti- oirs." jos and the Ahumelas.” “So then," inter- jected the imperial joker, "you are really Mme. Carette relates that Madame de descended from Saint Teresa ?” “Certainly." Wagner usually wore a plain dark wig, but “In a direct line, do you say?" "In a direct that upon one occasion when Hortense Schnei- | line, sire.” So earnestly were these words der was turning every one's head in Paris | pronounced that all persons had to screw with her golden tresses à la belle Hélène, their lips to avoid bursting into laughter. the old lady arrived at the Tuileries wearing "But," continued the emperor, "how can that a new and curly wig of the fashionable au be, since Saint Teresa died a virgin ?" "On, reate hue. Mme. Carette rushed from the | sire, you are making me talk nonsense.” All room laughing at the sight and the empress present indulged in hearty merriment in who met her and ascertained the cause, sent which the empress joined,-LOLIÉE, 191 Eugénie, Empress Evarts, William M. OF THE GREAT The empress was wont, in the days of One day, as M. Pietri and Mme. le Bre- Rouher and Forcade, to attend cabinet meet ton announced, in the presence of the ings and take an active part in their de empress, the visit of some French people, he liberations; and on one memorable occasion could not restrain his joy, but, with the in particular, at the time of the Garibaldian thoughtless gaiety of a happy child, sprang invasion of Rome in 1867, when it was a forward and clapped his hands. The empress, question whether the French should re-oc annoyed at this outburst of enthusiasm, cupy the Eternal City, she is known to have looked grave. "Well, Louis, what are you been very earnest in the affirmative, and to doing?" she scoldingly said; “remember in have carried the day against several of the whose presence you stand.” The prince then ministers. Her participation in political became a prince again. So it was every day. matters caused so much complaint among All youthful gaiety, all generosity of thought, the people, that she last year resolved to of feeling were unceremoniously crushed out abstain in future from attending cabinet of him.-PIERRE DE LANO, “The Empress Eu- meetings.--Chambers's Journal, May 14, | génie.” 1870. It is a characteristic obsession that There had been a council meeting at haunts her. Every time she chooses the same the Tuileries, after which the empress de. halting places for her flying visits, and I tained Trochu for a few minutes' private con- might also say the same center of observa- versation in her study. She came out to her tion. She always elects the lodge opposite ladies afterwards with a weary face, saying the garden of the Tuileries, which was former- that Trochu had been more tedious than ever ly her own, in order to travel once more and related how, when she expressed her con- those graveled walks where stood the palace fidence in him, he had knelt down and kissed which she animated with her life and luxury, her hand, exclaiming, “Madame, I am a Bre- the ruins of which have now vanished like her ton, a Catholic and a soldier and I will serve own beauty-long since destroyed by time you to the death.” “An honest man,” said and tears. But, alas, her walks therein are Eugénie to her friends, "has no need of such not always undisturbed. One spring day, a flood of words to express his readiness to the ex-empress, alone in the crowd, wandered do his duty," and she rubbed the back of among the flower beds on which the imperial her hand as if in repugnance at the recent palace once looked down. What memories, kiss.-PHILIP W. SERGEANT, “The Last Em- what nostalgia, must have haunted the em- press of the French.” press now fallen upon evil days! Suddenly she, who had reigned over this place by Before leaving, the empress gave me a right of rank and beauty, stooped and gath- little bust of Marie Antoinette--a very faith- ered a humble flower from the municipal ful and unflattering likeness of that un- beds. Instantly an old keeper, mustached fortunate princess which the empress had and white-haired, wearing on his breast the been able to save out of the wreck of her Crimean medal, descended upon her with a possessions when leaving Paris. There was surly, “It is against the rules to pick flow- something almost fatalistic in a little inci- ers." The times indeed had changed.-F. dent which then occurred. Becoming animat- LOLIÉE, “Women of the Second Empire.” ed in an account of her dangers in leaving Paris on the 4th of September, the empress EVARTS, William Maxwell, 1818-1901. knocked the little bust off the table, and I American statesman and jurist. picked it up with the head as clean cut off At the great meeting held in Cooper In- the shoulders as if it had been cut with a stitute in October last to sustain the admin- knife. “Paurre reine," sighed the empress, istration of President Hayes, at which it had “clle n'a pas de chance!” and told me how been announced that Mr. Evarts would be a similar thing had happened when a bust I present, a gentleman from Vermont, who had of Louis XVI. had been sent to his daughter, never seen the Secretary of State but had a the Duchess d'Angoulême. When unpacked desire to do so, said to the person seated next the marble bust was found to be broken off to him, “Is Jr. E-varts on the platform ?” at the neck; another was sent for from "No, sir; he has not yet arrived." "He's Paris, this time in bronze, but when it expected ?” “Oh, yes; he'll be along pres- reached its destination a fissure was found ently.” “I never seen Mr. E-varts, though that almost divided the neck. Who can I've heard a good deal of him. He's got a wonder when such things happen that Royal. | farm up Windsor, in our state.” “Well, when ties are often superstitious ?-LORD GoWEB, he comes in I'll tell you. The boys generally "Records and Reminiscences." give him a cheer when he comes on the Evarts, William M. 192 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES stage. Ah, there he comes." "Is that him?” to consider a sage stuffed with Turkey."- “Yes.” “William M. E-varts?” “Certainly.” Green Bag, June, 1900. "Well, I declare," exclaimed the Vermonter; “Secretary Evarts had the reputation of "why, he looks as though he boarded.”— being not only one of the cheeriest raconteurs, Harper's Magazine, January, 1878. but also one of the readiest wits at the capi- He told a good story of the Great East. tol. A lady once asked him if drinking so ern case and George Ticknor Curtis's rhetoric. | many different wines did not make him feel "Six men, six, save that leviathan, etc. Six seedy the next day. “No, madam," he re- men would be worth no more than six-six- plied, "it's the indifferent wines that produce babies.” Evarts interrupting him, “Six ba- | that result.”—WILLOUGHBY MAYCOCK, "Mr. bies are something in a squall.” Disgust of Chamberlain in the United States and Curtis and break-up of rhetoric. . . . Evarts Canada.” told many good stories, as of the convict, who To Mr. Evarts belongs the anecdote of thanked the clergyman who had obtained his the bereaved widow whose husband had such pardon and, returning with gratitude the a large circle of friends that the company Bible lent him, said he hoped he should never which she received on the evening of his in- have occasion to use it again. ... Mr. Schurz terment crowded her drawing room about to told me that when they were in the cabinet suffocation. A lady friend of the widow edged together it was very difficult to extract from her way up to her and, pointing to some- Evarts a report on any matter referred to the thing very bright and shining, visible above State Department. One day the President the heads of the assembled, in a remote was extremely urgent and Evarts said to him, corner of the apartment, whispered in her "You don't sufficiently realize, Mr. President, ear: “Say, is that a new eight-day clock ? the great truth that almost any question What d'ye gin for sich ?” “It's not a clock,” will settle itself if you will only let it alone sobbed the disconsolate widow, "it's the dear long enough.” When he was in the Senate, departed. We sot him on end to make room my colleague in after years, Senator Hoar, for company.” The supposed eight-day clock had a bill about which he was very anxious, was in fact the casket.-G. A. SALA, “Things and which had been referred to Evarts for I Have Seen and People I Have Known.” report. Months passed and no bill appeared. Meeting Mr. Evarts one day in the corridor, At a brilliant dinner many years ago in Mr. Hoar, who was his first cousin, said, “By this city the guests of honor were leading the way, Evarts, when you report that bill Englishmen and leading Frenchmen. Mr. of mine, just notify my executors.” “They Evarts presided with one of them on his will be gentlemen whom I shall be delighted right and the other on his left and began his to meet,” was the reply.-HENRY CABOT post-prandial talk by observing that it was a LODGE, “Early Memories.” nice question whether the Englishman or the Frenchman was named to be the pick of Hon. J. J. Ingalls in the Saturday humanity. “As for me,” he added, glancing Evening Post tells the following good stories from right to left as he spoke, “I prefer some. of William M. Evarts. Among the guests at thing between the two.” a dinner to Daniel Webster in New York was At a dinner tendered to Bishop Potter, a Dr. Benjamin Brandreth, the inventor of a member of the British Parliament, several celebrated pill known by his name. Mr. other distinguished men answering to the Evarts united these two great men in a name of Potter were present. This fact volunteer toast to “Daniel Webster and Ben- prompted Mr. Evarts to tell the company of a jamin Brandreth, the pillars of the consti- dazed clergyman who put up the petition : tution.” President Hayes was a total ab- “Oh, Lord, let us never forget that Thou art stainer at home. Scoffers said he drank only the clay and we are the Potters." the 0. P. brands. His state dinners, other- wise very elaborate and costly, were served Nothing could be neater than his mot in- without wines. The only concession to con- spired by the laying of the Atlantic cable: viviality was Roman punch, flavored with "Columbus said, "There is one world—there Jamaica rum. Evarts was accustomed to al- shall be two'; Cyrus W. Field said, 'There are lude to this course as “the life-saving sta- two worlds-there shall be one."" tion.” Rising to address informally the Once while Secretary of State, noticing guests at a Thanksgiving dinner, he began, that an unusually large number of persons “You have been giving your attention to a were waiting to see him as he passed through turkey stuffed with sage; you are now about the department to his private office, he turned 193 Evarts, William M. OF THE GREAT SO,” to a friend who was accompanying him and ington, on All Fools' day, between the dis. remarked, “This is the largest collection for tinguished senator from Wisconsin, Mr. Mid- foreign missions I ever saw." dleton, the clerk and the able and witty At- torney-General of the United States, from Among the guests at a Washington din- New York. “Mr. Middleton," said Senator ner at which he was present was an eminent Carpenter, “there is no statute of the United scientist. Late in the evening Mr. Evarts States that prohibits a man from making a suddenly attracted general attention by say- fool of himself." "Nor any decision of this ing to the scientist, “Professor, I should like court," gravely rejoined the clerk. “And cer- to ask you a question—Why is it that the tainly," quickly added Mr. Evarts, with a liquid at the bottom of a bottle is more in- sly twinkle of the eye, “there is nothing in toxicating than the liquor at the top?” The the practise of this court to warrant any scientist, all unconscious of the fun lurking other conclusion.”-Harper's Magazine, June, in the question, replied, "Why, I have never 1870. had my attention called to the fact. Are you sure that it is a fact ?" "Yes," rejoined Desirous of information, Lord Coleridge Evarts with a perfectly grave face, while was inquiring of Mr. Evarts, the distin- the rest of the company broke into a burst guished New York barrister, formerly Secre- of laughter, “I know men who have fre- tary of State, how American lawyers were quently found by actual experience that it is remunerated for their work. Lord Coleridge -"Pray, Mr. Evarts, how do clients pay their lawyers with you?” Mr. Evarts-“Well, my His sly dig at President Hayes's temper lord, they pay a retaining fee; it may be $50, ance principles is still one of the favorite it may be $500, or $50,000.” Lord Coleridge stories in Washington. “While Hayes oc -"Yes; and what does that cover?” Mr. cupied the White House,” said Evarts, "the Evarts—"Oh, that is simply the retainer. water at his dinners flowed like champagne." The rest is paid for as the work is done and -Albany Law Journal, March, 1901. according to the work done.” Lord Coleridge --"Yes, Mr. Evarts; and do clients like He wrote a letter to George Bancroft, the historian, in which he said: "Dear Bancroft that?” Mr. Evarts—“Not a bit, my lord, not a bit. They generally say, 'Mr. Evarts, I -I send you two products of my pen to-day- should like to know how deep down I shall my usual barrel of pig pork and my Eulogy on Chief Justice Chase.”—American Law Re- have to go in my breeches pocket to see this business through.'” Lord Coleridge-"Yes; view, March-April, 1901. what do you say then?” Mr. Evarts-“Well, Arguments for the respective parties my lord, I have invented a formula which were limited to fifteen minutes each. Among I have found answers very well. I say, 'Sir, the speakers who preceded Judge Davis was or Madam, as the case may be, I cannot un- Mr. Evarts and during his speech he had in dertake to say how many judicial errors dulged in one of his long and involved sen I shall be called upon to correct before I ob- tences. Judge Davis, when called upon, re tain for you final justice.'"-LORD RUSSELL ferred to Mr. Evarts's habit of uttering long OF KILLOWEN, The North American Review, sentences and remarked that he understood September, 1894. that Mr. Evarts had recently complained bit. terly of the enforcement of the rule in one of An Englishman (Lord Coleridge, in his own cases, because the court had by ex- 1883] to whom he was showing the Natural Bridge in Virginia asked if the story was piration of the fifteen minutes been compelled to stop Mr. Evarts in the middle of his first veracious which credited George Washington sentence. This, of course, occasioned much with throwing a silver dollar over the bridge merriment, but Mr. Evarts was equal to the while standing on the ground below it. Evarts measured the distance with his eye occasion, for, retorting courteously, he said that the incident to which Judge Davis re- and then observed, “Well, Washington may have done so—you know a dollar went fur- ferred was as true as anything else of a simi- lar character, and he could readily under- ther in those days than it does now.” Evarts, on being asked if he ever made such a re- stand why he was stopped, because only crimi- mark, said, “No; I have been misrepresented; nals objected to long sentences.--THERON G. what I said to the Englishman was that STRONG, “Landmarks of a Lawyer's Lifetime.” Washington might readily have performed A little triangular piece of legal wit was that feat, since he once threw a sovereign perpetrated in the clerk's office of the Su across the sea."-Albany Law Journal, preme Court of the United States at Wash: | March, 1901. Everett, Edward Field, Stephen J. 194 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES EVERETT, Edward, 1794-1865. American Everett in a public ceremonial where a sur- statesman. viving soldier of the Revolution was present. The recent inauguration in Boston of a Mr. Everett, seeing with what effect the Revo- statue of Edward Everett, sculptured by lutionary patriot could be made tributary to Story, a son of the eminent jurist, recalls an the point of his oration, “interviewed” the incident that occurred at which Mr. Everett | old gentleman in private, telling him that at and Judge Story assisted. Toasts being in such a part he would turn to him and make order and the judge being called upon, he a certain movement of his hand, at which lie made a neat and complimentary little speech was to arise. Of course the Revolutionary about Mr. Everett, and concluded by an allu- patriot had his eyes and ears open for the sion to the fame he had acquired in the liter- preconcerted signal. Mr. Everett having ary and political world. "Fame," said the gradually and eloquently delivered the rhe- judge, "rises where Everett goes." In good torical preliminary, he gave the cue and the time came Mr. Everett's turn, who re- Revolutionary patriot proudly and gladly paid the courtesies of his distinguished arose. “Do not rise, venerable man,” said friend by saying, “However high fame may Mr. Everett, with deprecatory gesture; "do rise, I am certain it will never get above not rise; it is for us to rise and pay defer- one story.”—Harper's Magazine, December, ence to you." "Why, Mr. Everett, what do 1867. you mean? You told me to git up and now you tell me to sit down. What do you A newspaperman of the South, who has mean?” Alas, that the little tableau should a memory for odd occurrences, was on one thus have been made ridiculous.-Harper's occasion associated with the late Edward Magazine, December, 1869. FARRAGUT, David Glasgow, 1801-1870. , looking at the woodcut of himself at the American admiral. masthead of the Franklin, with bomb-shells Bishop Clark, of Rhode Island, is eminent bursting in the air and flame and smoke be- for his devotion to the interests of his diocese low him, said, "Look at that now. I am rep- and yet loves to unbend in genial society. resented in the newspapers and in pictures as One day he was recreating at Newport and a daring hero, exposing my life on the mast- fell into the company of the admiral. The head, as the ship passed up between the ene- bishop was smoking and politely offered a my's batteries. Why, it's the safest part of cigar to his companion. Turning his bronzed the ship. Not that I went up there on that face upon the bishop, Farragut soberly re account, but simply to get above the smoke marked, "No, thank you, bishop; I never which prevented my seeing the enemy from smoke, but I sometimes swear a little.” The the deck.”-C. K. TUCKERMAN, “Personal answer took the bishop aback somewhat, but Recollections of Notable People.” he quickly recovered himself and replied, "Ah, FERDINAND, 1751-1825. King (IV.) of I see, smoking and swearing do not go to- Naples, III. of Sicily, and I. of the two gether.”—Harper's Magazine, December, 1866. Sicilies. Captain Drayton, fearing that the ad- Miss Cornelia Knight, in her "Autobiog- miral might be thrown to the deck by a raphy,” adds another touch to the same por- wound, sent up Quartermaster Knowles with trait, when the inveterate royal truant had a piece of lead line, which he passed around long been a grandfather. "The king used to the admiral's body, making the ends fast in pass our house," she writes, "on his way to the shrouds. It was a simple incident, but the lake where he caught the gulls that he the people of the nation were thrilled as sold to the fish-dealers. He weighed the birds rarely before when the newspapers told how with his own hands and was very careful to the admiral went into battle “lashed to the be paid in good money.” At other times, mast."-JOHN R. SPEARS, “David G. Farra- when the king and his party had been fish- ing in the royal preserves of the Lago di I was chatting there one day with Ad. Patria and the Lago di Fusaro, it was Ferdi- miral Farragut, then fresh from the naval band's special delight to sell his fish, imitat. achievements on the Mississippi, when a ing the speech, dress and ways of his friends, newsboy came up to us bellowing, "Buy the the lazzaroni, and haggling as obstinately Harper 'Lustrated! Picture o' Farry-gut!" | over his prices as the most seasoned fish- The admiiral took a copy from the boy and, monger of Santa Lucia. gut." 195 Everett, Edward Field, Stephen J. OF THE GREAT There is an amusing account, found in the strait were manned by his own subjects the archives of Turin, written by a monk of | and countrymen.”—CONSTANCE H. D. GIGLI- San Martino, of a visit paid to the certosa OLI, “Naples in 1799.” under the castle of San' Elmo in 1769 by I hear from Palermo that the same day Ferdinand and Carolina with the Emperor Joseph II. The monks were up all night pre- the king arrived there he went to the theater and on the following day to the chase and paring a prodigious amount of sweets and that he has assisted regularly at all the pub- liqueurs for the royal party, who came up next day with forty ladies and sixty gentle- lic balls that have been given during the car- men of the court and crowds of hangers-on nival. The indifference and apathy of this and filled all the certosa. The king ate prince are certainly very difficult to under- sweets and cakes and made the queen eat stand. On the day on which he was obliged to fly from Naples, he refused to embark un- and all the court, and forced the queen to drink. Then they betake themselves til after he had been to the play, and the last word that he spoke on leaving his palace, to the kitchen and the king lights up- where he had reigned for forty-seven years on the common loaf of the cook, he breaks and which he is never to enter again, was as it in three, tosses a piece of it per aria to follows: “Let them not forget to bring my the queen, a piece to the ladies and shares supper on board and to keep it hot.”—Des- the last with six of his gentlemen. Some- patch of Alquier, French Ambassador to what nauseated, no doubt, with so many sweets, all the fine company are enchanted Naples, to Talleyrand, February 26, 1806. with the coarse bread and the king says the On one occasion when he had to execute superiors are well off, but who are much bet- a flight of great peril he made his chamber- ter off are the poor brothers; and the monks lain change dresses and places with him, he think it a vastly fine joke. The bread is acting the courtier for nonce; "for,” said he scarcely gone when the king says he wants to coolly, "if we are overtaken they will be cer- try an omelet. Fra Ignatio hurries forward tain to slay the king.” Both got safe away to make it, but the king says he will make it and afterwards, instead of evincing any shame himself and was beginning to set about it, at this conduct, used to make a humorous but, seeing how the cook whisked up the eggs story of it and laud the chamberlain, to whom --twenty-eight, we are told-in a moment, indeed he always continued kind, showing Ferdinand says that is not his way. When it that in this matter he was certainly guiltless is just being dished the emperor complains of one sin.-Blackwood's Magazine, May, of the smell in the kitchen and calls the queen 1877. away, to her visible annoyance, and the king and six gentlemen devoured the omelet, Kau- FIELD, Stephen Johnson, 1816-1899. Ameri- nitz, the great chancellor, being one of the can jurist. party. The king slaps the monks on the I had brought from New York several let. back and digs them in the ribs and has many ters of introduction to persons who had pre- a rough laugh at their expense, to their great ceded me to the new country and among them edification and delight. While the omelet one to the mercantile firm of Simmons, Hut- was a-frying Ferdinand stood over the fire chinson & Co., of San Francisco, upon under the black pent of the chimney, in all I called. They received me cordially and in- the smoke and steam, and fished macaroni quired particularly of my intentions as to with a long copper ladle out of the big caul residence and business. They stated that dron and ate them with his fingers. there was a town at the head of river naviga- As late as 1806, when he was about fifty- tion, at the junction of the Sacramento and Feather rivers, which offered inducements to five, Hugh Eliot, then British ambassador to a young lawyer. They called it Vernon and Palermo, describes him as "immensely enjoy. they said they owned some lots in it which ing the period of his life” (when the French they would sell to me. I replied that I had occupied the mainland and he was reduced a no money. That made no difference, they second time to Sicily alone): "above all re- said; they would let me have them on credit; joicing with strange gesticulations and they desired to build up the town and would stranger words when from a safe place he let the lots go cheap to encourage its settle- watched the artillery practise from opposite ment. ... The next day I took the steamer shores; clapping his hands with glee when a Lawrence for Vernon, which was so heavily shot struck some miserable vessel hugging | laden as to be only eighteen inches out of the coast, and apparently perfectly unmindful water; and the passengers, who amounted to of the fact that such boats on either side of a large number, were requested not to move whom Pield, Stephen J. Porrest, General 196 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES yet. about the deck, but to keep as quiet as pos- on his desk with as little concern as if he sible. In three or four hours after leaving were hanging up his hat. During Mr. Field's Sacramento, the captain suddenly called out first term there was a hot debate upon a pro- with great energy, “Stop her! Stop her!” posal to impeach his old enemy, Judge Turn- and with some difficulty the boat escaped run er. One Moore, of Tuolumne, a friend of the ning into what seemed to be a solitary house Texan's, rose to defend him. He opened his in a vast lake of water. I asked what that desk, took out two revolvers and laid them place was and was answered “Vernon,” the before him. Then he launched into a violent town where I had been advised to settle as attack upon Mr. Field, not sparing offensive affording a good opening for a young lawyer. words and boastfully adding that he would I turned to the captain and said I believed I be responsible for his words at any time and would not put out my shingle at Vernon just place. Mr. Field sat through the speech im- perturbably and then rose to reply to Moore's I had modestly whispered to different arguments, taking no notice of his personali- persons at this meeting in the new house that ties. After adjournment, however, he sent my name was mentioned by my friends for him a note, demanding an apology or satis- the office of alcalde, and my nomination fol- faction. Moore, in the expressive language of lowed. But I was not to have the office with. the day, "crawfished.” IIe said that he ex- out a struggle; an opposition candidate ap- pected to be a candidate for Congress and peared and an exciting election ensued. The could not fight a duel. “Then,” said Mr. main objection urged against me was that I Field's messenger, David Broderick, after- was a newcomer. I had been there only three wards a senator, “as soon as the assembly days; my opponent had been there six. I meets Mr. Field will arise and repeat Mr. beat him, however, by nine votes.-STEPHEN Moore's remarks as to his responsibility. He J. FIELD, “Early Days in California." will state that respect for the dignity of the house prevented him from replying to the One of the new officials, Judge Turner, attack in the terms it deserved and, after whose district included Marysville, had a bit- detailing Moore's refusal to give him satis. ter grudge against Mr. Field and left nothing faction, he will denounce him as a liar and undone to ruin him. He denounced him as a coward.” “In that case," replied Mr. an abolitionist-a fire-eating Texan's worst Moore's representative, “Judge Field will be term of reproach-debarred him from prac- shot in his seat.” When the house opened tising in court and swore to drive him into and the journal had been read, Mr. Field in- the Yuba river. There was no little indigna- stantly arose and shouted, “Mr. Speaker.” So tion in Marysville and all the leading citizens did Moore. The presiding officer recognized signed a petition for Judge Turner's re- the latter, who immediately began to read a moval. Mr. Field applied to the Supreme written apology. Court for redress. "If it were my case," said one of the judges, of whom he sought advice, Once Mr. Field was acting as counsel about "I think I should buy a shotgun and stand the disputed ownership of a valuable mining out in the street and get the first shot.” “But claim, when he happened to overhear a mid- I can only act in self-defense,” protested Mr. night conversation which told him beyond a Field. “I think that would be acting in self- doubt that the opposite side had bribed the defense,” the justice answered. The lawyer jury. When Mr. Field rose to sum up the bought a pair of revolvers and practised next day, he conclusively showed the justice shooting them from the pockets of his coat. of his client's case. Then he boldly informed He sent a message to Judge Turner, saying, the jurors that he knew what had been done. that while he desired no personal encounter, “With uplifted hands," he said, "you declared he would not cross the street or go a step out by the everliving God that you would return of his way to avoid one, and, if attacked, pro a verdict according to law. Will you perjure posed to shoot. The judge did not reply, but your souls? I know that you”-pointing to he never attempted to carry out his threats one of them—"have been approached. Did of violence. Marysville said that Mr. Field's you spurn the wretch who made the pro- pluck had saved him. posal or hold council with him? I know that The early legislatures of California had you"-turning to another--"talked over the hardly the solemnity of an ideal fountain of case last night. You did not dream that you law. Most of the assemblymen wore bowies | were heard, but I was there and I know the or revolvers; some would flourish both weap details of the full bargain.” The click, click ons on occasion. When a member took his of triggers was heard all over the court room, seat he unstrapped his "guns" and laid them which was full of partizans of the other side 197 leld, Stephen J. OF THE GREAT Forrest, Ĝeneral “There is no terror in your pistols, gentle travel of the one hundred and fifty miles men," continued Mr. Field without a trem which lay between them to go to see her. He or. “You cannot win your case by shooting built the house with his own hands, in which me. You can win it only by showing title to they first lived, and during the early years of the property. Attempted bribery, I say, their marriage Mrs. Fillmore acted as house- whether successful or not, will depend upon keeper, maid-of-all-work and hostess for the what may occur hereafter. Jurors, you have family, teaching school at the same time.- invoked the vengeance of heaven upon your FRANK G. CARPENTER, Lippincott's Afagazine, souls if you fail to render a verdict according July, 1886. to the evidence.” The blow went home. The FORREST, Nathan Bedford, jury, after a brief consultation, brought in a 1821-1877. American general. verdict in favor of Mr. Field's client, who within two weeks took ninety thousand dol. A neighbor had an ox which lived at free lars' worth of dust from the claim.-RICHARD quarters upon the Forrest farm, throwing H. TITUERINGTON, M unsey's , Magazine, down fences and ravaging the corn at will. November, 1893, condensed from Stephen J. So injurious were these habits of the trouble- Field's “Early Days in California.” some brute that they became insufferable. The attention of the owner was repeatedly FILLMORE, Millard, 1800-1874. President called to these depredations. He was urged of the United States. to take measures to put an end to this annoy- Addressing us he said, “Boys, I don't think ance but failed to do so and the ox continued the stairs have been swept down for two as destructive as ever. Young Forrest (aged weeks; they are very dirty; any lady coming ten] then notified his neighbor that he would up these stairs would soil her dress. I wish tolerate these trespasses no longer and there. one of you would take the broom and sweep fore should shoot the offending animal if them down." Thereupon he withdrew to ever found in one of his fields. To this an his own room. I remained quiet, having | angry retort was made and a menace like- served my time at that work and I felt that | wise to shoot whomsoever might shoot the I was entitled to a full discharge. The other ox. In a few days following the inveterate students, not showing any movement in that marauder was found, as usual, feeding in a line, Mr. Fillmore hung up his dress coat, put cornfield. Sending the owner information of on his working gown, took a broom and the fact and of his consequent purpose, For- started in sweeping the hall and stairs from rest repaired, rifle in hand, to the scene and top to bottom. without delay did what he said he would in One spring morning as he came into the such an exigency-shot the roguish beast. office he remarked to us: "Last evening, as I Scarcely had this been done and, as he was reloading, the neighbor appeared, also armed was taking a ride with Mrs. Fillmore, we saw you and Powers walking out on Main street with a rifle, hurrying towards the field and manifestly also bent on violence, as he had and going as if you were walking on a wager; threatened. Standing on his own ground that is undignified and unprofessional."- and, having reloaded his piece, no sooner did HIRAM C. DAY, “Thirty-seventh Annual Re- his adversary attempt to remount the fence port of the Buffalo Historical Society.” that limited the field than the determined Mr. Sherwood indulged in the remark youth brought his rifle to bear and fired with that his adversaries had played out the right | such steady aim that the bullet passed bower in the case. This allusion attracted through the clothes of the intruder, who, Mr. Fillmore's attention and he turned to brought to his senses by the report of the gun Mr. Talcott near him with the inquiry, “What and the whistle of the ball, tumbled from does Mr. Sherwood mean by that remark ?” the fence to the ground exterior to the field The judge attempted to enlighten the inno and, speedily recovering his feet, scampered cence of Mr. Fillmore.-A. M. CLAPP, “Thirty off homeward as fast as he could run.- seventh Annual Report of the Buffalo His THOMAS JORDAN and J. P. PRYOR, "Campaigns torical Society." of N. B. Forrest.” She was two years older than Mr. Fill In the spring of 1864, when General N. more, and at the time he became engaged to B. Forrest had his command near Memphis, a her he was a clothier's apprentice, while she couple of soldiers from the Union army were was a village school teacher. The engage taken prisoners and, on account of the short- ment lasted for five or six years and during ness of rations and the difficulty of making the last three of these Fillmore was so poor exchanges, orders had been issued to take no that he was unable to pay the expenses of the prisoners, but execute them on the spot. The Forrest, General Fox, Charles J. 198 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES captors, however, had brought the prisoners you." The general took it good-naturedly to General Forrest, who ordered them to be and rode on.--J. H. MATHES, "Ligutenant- confined until the next morning when they General Forrest." were to be shot. The captives wero of Teu- He often brought a smile to many friends tonic origin and belonged to a Wisconsin regiment. They were led into a field near by gathered round him in telling of the incident the log barn in which they had been con- at Cowan's station, when he was being hotly fined and a file of Confederate soldiers were pursued through that village by the Federals, facing them with loaded rifles. The brave and a fiery Southern dame, not knowing that Germans lighted their pipes and stood con- she was addressing the great General For- versing with each other. The general himself rest, shook her fist at him and upbraided assumed command and gave the word, him for not turning about and fighting the “Ready! Aim!” The captives blanched not Yankees. The last words he heard her say nor quailed, but kept on smoking, when sud- | as he passed on the roadside were, “Why denly the general shouted, "Ground arms! don't you turn and fight, you cowardly ras- Shoulder arms! Ready! Aim! Shoulder cal? If old Forrest were here he'd make arms! Right about face!” Then, turning you fight.”-JOIN A. WYETI, “Life of Gen- to the prisoners, he shouted, “Git up and eral Nathan Bedford Forrest." git!” To the bystanders he remarked, FOUCHÉ, Joseph, 1763-1820, Duke of Otran- "Brave men are too scarce to be shot down to. French statesman. like dogs.”—Harper's Magazine, April, 1871. "It is more than a crime,” I said (the kill- At West Point, Miss., in 1865, he had is- | ing of the duke d'Enghien); "it is a blun- sued orders that there should be no more der," words that I repeat because they have gunfiring or horse-racing in camp. The boys been attributed to others.--"Memoirs Con- rebelled. That night they wasted hundreds cerning Joseph Fouché.” of rounds of ammunition. The next day, growing bolder, a party of dare-devils rode [Fouché), who likewise took Bourrienne up in front of his tent and, staking off a in his employ at a salary of 25,000 francs a quarter course, began racing their horses. month, did a masterful stroke of business The general, with several of his staff, watched when he engaged Madame Bonaparte's serve the races, even betting on some of the horses. ices as a spy upon the First Consul's com- After the races the men drew up in front of ings and goings. "In this way," says Fouché, his quarters and gave three cheers for Gen- "I was able to verify the secretary's informa- eral Forrest. Then they rode off in triumph tion by comparing it with Josephine's reve- and a short distance away were met by a lations and vice versa. ... So I was al- strong guard, arrested and carried before the ways well informed.”—JOSEPH TURQUAN, general, who at once had them court-mar- "The Wife of General Bonaparte." tialed and severely punished. Ilis own son Fouché, the minister of police, was ex- suffered the same penalty as the rest and tremely gracious, and requested my father to carried fence rails until his shoulders were produce his certificates of residence. “All sore. the emigrants are doing so,” said he, "and Some heavy firing was heard in front. are proving every day that they never quit- This was two small Federal gunboats firing ted France." "But I cannot do so, Citizen at Hood's pontoon bridge, but finally silenced | Minister; I have no papers that can be pre- by Morton's artillery. Forrest rode rapidly sented to you, except a passport in a false forward and overtook a small train in charge name, which I purchased at Hamburg for of a quartermaster, of whom he inquired, twelve francs.” “What! You have no means “Who is that shooting down there? Do you of proving that your name has been unjustly know?" "No," the quartermaster answered, inscribed on the lists?" "No." "Oh, well, in "I don't know, but I suppose it may be old that case, you shall be erased immediately, Forrest; he is the only cavalryman I ever for I shall conclude that you never quitted heard of fool enough to tackle gunboats." your country; those who emigrated have This was soon after the fight at Johnson brought forward so much evidence to prove ville. The grimy, grim-visaged warrior re that they did not, that I presume you are im- plied, "Well, I know it is not old Forrest, posing on me in the contrary way, and that for that is the name the boys call me.” “I you have really been all the time in Paris. beg your pardon, general, but you have | In two days you shall receive your erasure." changed so much since I saw you at Chicka 1 - MADAME GEORGETTE DUCREST, "Memoirs of mauga in a new uniform that I did not know | the Empress Josephine." 199 Forrest, General Pox, Charles J. OF THE GREAT When in 1815 Napoleon sent for him and pitable duty as an English gentleman and said, "Fouché, you are a traitor; I ought to that was to admit him.-WILLIAM J. hang you,” Fouché replied with perfect calm, O’DAUNT, "Personal Recollections of the Late “Sire, in this I do not agree with your maj. Daniel O'Connell,” quoting O'Connell. esty." In 1802, at another of these scenes, The following anecdote illustrative of when the First Consul threatened him with Fox's character was communicated to me by disgrace and death and declared that he was an Englishman. At a time when he was plotting against the ruler of the state, Fouché much embarrassed by his pecuniary circum- coolly remarked, "It will be time enough to stances, a note of hand of his for three hun- hang me in a few hours.”-H. W. WILSON, dred guineas was presented for payment. Cornhill Magazine, April, 1903. There were no funds to meet this and the FOX, Charles James, 1749-1806. English unlucky creditor made repeated but useless statesman. applications to get the bill cashed. By a stratagem he succeeded at last in seeing Mr. Mr. Fox himself attributed his success to Fox, who was actually employed at this time the resolution which he formed when very in counting out several hundred guineas. young of speaking, well or ill, at least once The creditor's hopes of a satisfactory settle- every night. “During five whole sessions," ment of his claim were now very sanguine, he used to say, "I spoke every night but one and I regret only that I did not speak on especially as Mr. Fox showed no sign of em- barrassment at being discovered at the em- that night too.”—The Edinburgh Review, ployment he was engaged in. His dismay may January, 1834. therefore be easily imagined when he was But no sooner had he [Newcastle] made calmly told that, in spite of the display of his proposal to Fox, than he began to fear wealth before him, Mr. Fox had not ten that he had parted with too large a share guineas at his disposal; in fact, that the of his power and he hastened to qualify his whole of the money on the table-about eight ofier. He had meant, he said, to keep the hundred guineas-was destined to discharge disposal of the secret service money to him. a debt of honor—a gaming transaction of the self. Fox, with his strong sense, immediately previous evening. When the creditor remon- pointed out the inconvenience of such a re strated upon the injustice of passing his own serve. "How was he to manage the House legitimate debt in favor of one so much less of Commons unless he knew who had been pressing, Fox appeared astonished and en- bribed and who not ?"—WILLIAM MASSEY, deavored to show that the debt of honor had “History of England Under George III.” à much higher claim upon his immediate at- tention in so far as there existed no other I believe that there never was a greater security for its liquidation than his verbal as- scoundrel than George IV. To his other evil surance, whereas the holder of the bill pos- qualities he added a perfect disregard of the sessed his signature, which would be ulti- truth. During his connection with Mrs. Fitz- mately honored. “If this be a just mode of herbert, Charles James Fox dined with him discrimination," dryly remarked the creditor, one day in that lady's company. After din- “I will instantly convert my claim into a ner Mrs. Fitzherbert said, “By the by, Mr. debt of honor," at the same time tearing the Fox, I had almost forgotten to ask you what bill into pieces; "and you will allow that, as you did say about me in the House of Com- my demand stands on an equal footing with mons the other night. The newspapers mis your last night's loss, as being simply a debt represent so very strangely, that one cannot of honor, I have the advantage of priority at depend upon them. You were made to say all events.” He well judged his man. Fox that the prince had authorized you to deny was too generous and right-minded to hesi- his marriage to me." The prince made moni- tate; he accordingly took the necessary sum tory grimaces at Fox and immediately said, from the heap before him and satisfied the "Upon my honor, my dear, I never author- | creditor, whose debt in justice required im- ized him to deny it.” “Upon my honor you mediate payment; and cheerfully resigned did,” said Fox, rising from the table; "I had himself to fortune in the hope of discharging always thought your father the greatest liar the mere debt of honor.-DUCHESS D’ABRAN- in England, but now I see that you are.” TÈS, "Memoirs." Fox would not associate with the prince for some years, until one day that he walked in The following is from Rogers's “Table unannounced and found Fox at dinner. Fox Talk," repeated, without so much as a query rose as the prince entered and said that he or an obolus, in Princess Lichtenstein's "Hol- had but one course consistent with his hos. | land House,” Vol. II., p. 117. A bond credi. Fox, Charles J. Prancis Joseph Emperor WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 200 tor of Fox, hearing that he had won a bet of table, he sent a card of compliments to Sir eight thousand pounds, called on him for pay- | John, desiring to see him, in order to dis- ment. "Impossible, sir," replied Fox; "I charge his demand. When they met, Fox pro- must first discharge my debts of honor.” duced the money, which Sir John no sooner The bond creditor remonstrated. “Well, sir," saw than, calling for pen and ink, he very said Fox, "give me your bond.” It was de deliberately began to reckon up the interest. livered to Fox who tore it into pieces and "What are you doing?” cried Charles. "Only threw them into the fire. "Now, sir," said calculating the amount of the interest,” re- Fox, “my debt to you is a debt of honor," plied the baronet. “Are you so?” returned and immediately paid him ... It was the Fox coolly and at the same time returning ingenuity of the bond creditor, not the mag. the cash, which he had already thrown upon nanimity of Fox. The former, finding that he the table, to his pocket. “Why, I thought, could not obtain payment, produced the bond Sir John, that my debt to you was a debt of and, pitching it into the fire, said, “Now, sir, honor, but as you seem to view it in another my debt is a debt of honor," and Fox imme light, and seriously mean to make a trading diately paid him.-Notes and Queries, June 5, debt of it, I must inform you that I make it 1875. an invariable rule to pay my Jew creditors last; you must therefore wait a little longer An anecdote, for the truth of which it is, for your money, sir, and when I meet my however, impossible to vouch, is related con- cerning Mr. Fox and Mrs. Crewe. At one money-lending Israelites I shall certainly think of Sir John Jehu and expect to have period of his life he was fond of ranking the honor of seeing him in the company of among her admirers. A gentleman, who had my worthy friends from Duke's Place."-B. lost a considerable sum to her at play, know- ing Mr. Fox's acquaintance with the lady, C. WALPOLE, “Days of the Dandies." and being obliged to leave town suddenly, They had a club at Almack's in Pall gave him the money to pay her and begged Mall where they played only for rouleaux that he would apologize to the lady for not of fifty pounds each and generally there was having paid the debt of honor in person. Mr. ten thousand pounds specie on the table. Fox, whose necessities were always very press Lord Holland had paid above twenty thou- ing, apprehended that he might trespass a sand pounds for his two sons. Nor were the little on the good nature of the lady, and ac manner of the gamesters, or even their dress. cordingly, instead of waiting on her with the es for play, undeserving notice. They began money, appropriated it to his own uses, or, by pulling off their embroidered clothes and in other words, actually lost every shilling put on frieze greatcoats, or turned their of it before morning. Mrs. Crewe often met coats inside out for luck. They put on pieces her supposed debtor in public afterwards and of leather (such as are worn by footmen when was astonished that he took no notice of the they clean the knives) to save their laced sum she had won from him; at length, when ruflles; and to guard their eyes from the a considerable space had elapsed, she hinted light and prevent tumbling their hair, wore the matter delicately to him. “Bless me,” he high-crowned straw hats with broad brims said with surprise, “I paid the money to Mr. and adorned with flowers and ribbons; masks Fox three months ago.” “Oh, you did, sir," to conceal their emotions when they played replied Mrs. Crewe, who was not more re | at quinze. Each gamester had a small, neat markable for beauty and sense than for good stand by him, or a wooden bowl with an edge nature; "then probably he has paid me and of ormolu to hold his rouleaux. They bor. I have forgotten it, but I shall speak to him, rowed great sums of Jews at exorbitant pre- for either his memory or mine must be very miums. Charles Fox called this outward treacherous on this occasion.” When he was room, where those Jews waited until he rose, taxed with the matter, he owned the truth, his Jerusalem chamber.--HIORACE WALPOLE, but swore he could not have taken so much "Memoirs of the Reign of George III.” liberty with any woman on earth than her- In fact, during the latter half of the self, begged she would give him a little time; eighteenth century, English society was pos- but whether he ever paid her was much sessed of an ungovernable rage for gambling. doubted by many well-informed skeptics about Charles James Fox was known as the prince St. Jamcs's. of gamblers before he had reached the ma- Having once an old gambling debt to pay ture age of twenty-two, and before he was to a dashing baronet known by the familiar twenty-four he had cost his father £140,000. appellation of Sir John Jehu, and finding Tom Duncombe, heir to a fine fortune, lost himself in cash after a lucky run at the faro | £135,000 through similar habits and eventual. 201 Fox, Charles J. OF THE GREAT Francis Joseph, Emperor ly brought himself to a miserable and poverty- | said, forever to put an end to "good conver- stricken end. ... At Brooks's, where they sation and conviviality.”—ALEXANDER FER- commonly played faro, the lowest stake was GUSSON, “Henry Erskine.” £50; and it was no unusual thing for a gen- tleman to win or lose £10,000 in one evening. Fox was as indolent as Burke; no man -John FYVIE, “Wits, Beaux and Beauties of loved doing nothing so much as he did. He the Georgian Era.” used to loll at length upon the sunny banks of St. Anne's Hill, opposite to a wall covered Nothing could alienate the sympathy of with fruit trees. The jays at first were his friends, nothing oust his own good hu scared away by him; but Fox cried out one mor. After a long day in the House of Com- day, “I have accomplished it at last; the mons and a long evening of ill success, he birds don't care for me. I don't disturb them would tranquilly lay his head on the gam and they don't disturb me.” Some one re- bling table and go off into a profound slum marked, "Ah, Mr. Fox, how delightful it must ber. On the morning after an unusually be to loll along in the sun with a book in ruinous night, Beauclerk called on him, ex your hand!” “Why the book—why the pecting to find the excited player in a state book ?" said Fox.-LORD BROUGHTON, "Recol. of reaction, the ruined gambler hopelessly lections," quoting Sheridan. depressed. He found Fox placidly reading Herodotus. “What would you have me do Lady Holland told me that Mr. Fox when I have lost my last shilling ?"-Quar- would read nothing written against him. "No," said he; "that is what they want me terly Review, January, 1889. to do, but I won't.”—LORD BROUGHTON, “Rec- Charles one day received a severe repre. | ollections." hension from his father, who asked him how Speaking of Burke's book on the revolu- it was possible for him to sleep, or enjoy any | tion he said, “Burke is right after all; but of the comforts of life, when he reflected on Burke is often right-only he is right too the immense sums he stood indebted. “Your soon.”- ROBERT BELL, "Life of George Can- lordship need not be in the least surprised," ning.” answered Charles; "your astonishment ought to be how my creditors can sleep."--B. C. At his Chertsey house, in the evening of WALPOLE, "Days of the Dandies.” his life, Fox had received the call of Grey with an offer of a peerage from the king. Mr. Fox, the most genial of men, was "No, not yet," was the answer. “I have an asked why he disputed so vehemently about oath in heaven against it; nor will I end like some trifle or other. He said: "I must do so; others in that foolish way." I can't live without discussion.”—WALTER BAGEHOT, “Biographical Studies.” On the visitor being announced, Mrs. Fox, in deshabille, had slipped into a cup- Fox asked a tradesman for his vote, who board or closet opening out of the room. answered, “I admire your abilities, but damn | The interview was prolonged. The lady, be- your principles,” to which Fox replied, "My coming impatient, was heard to exclaim, "Mr. friend, I applaud your sincerity, but damn Fox, my dear, surely the young man's gone. your manners.” When he applied to a sad- Can't I come out, dear; I am so very cold ?” dler in Haymarket the man produced a halter –T. H. S. EscoTT, "Society in the Country and said he was willing to oblige him with House.” it. Fox answered, "I return thanks for your present, but I should be sorry to deprive you FRANCIS JOSEPH, 1830-1917. Emperor of of a family piece.”—The Gentleman's Maga Austria-Hungary. zine, March, 1849. Early one morning, in the summer of 1840, On one occasion, during the progress of "Franzi" took his way to his reverend Mr. Hastings's trial, Mr. Fox, struck by the friend's modest abode. ... In a far corner solemnity of Lord Thurlow's appearance, of the enclosure Doppelbauer was kneeling said to the Speaker, "I wonder if any man amid his potatoes, weeding and tending the ever was so wise as Thurlow looks."-GEORGE promising plants, and truth compels me to PELLEW, “Life and Correspondence of Vis- add that the reverend gentleman was exces- count Sidmouth.” sively grimy, his large, sun-burned hands bearing ample testimony to his labor amid The French Revolution came suddenly to the rich mold wherein the tubers throve. sober men's minds with anxiety, and as Fox, "Ho, ho! Is that you, little friend ?” he who was no mean judge in such things, has | exclaimed, turning a crimson and perspiring Francis Joseph, Emperor WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 202 but beaming countenance towards his visitor. | Radetsky's face on that memorable day, when "What good wind blew you here?” Then he he saw Archduke Franz quietly check his added with a laugh, "I can't shake hands charger in the thickest of a storm of bullets with you; I'm too dirty.” “That's nothing," and without so much as a flicker of the eye- exclaimed “Franzi,” extending his smooth, lids remain watching intently the progress of pink palm; but, seeing that his beloved the enemy. Nor had the natural excitement Pfarrer refused to grasp it, a shade of an of the moment, the bracing smell of powder, noyance clouded his bonny visage, and with the swishing sound of the wind-tossed flags a little frown he stooped quickly, thrust his anything to do with the martial attitude of hand deep into the dark, greasy earth, and, this neophyte, for he was indeed a born sol- withdrawing it, thoroughly coated with mire, dier. He gently waved away Feld-Marschall- waved it triumphantly under the nose of his Lieutenant Baron d’Aspre, who was implor- amazed and delighted host. "Now," he cried ing him to take shelter, conjuring him to re- with a laugh, “I'm just as dirty as you are, member the extreme value of his life, and and you will have to shake hands.” Which whose ferocious glares and gestures of impo- ceremony was accordingly performed with tent exasperation and despair were received much enthusiasm and merriment on both by the object of all this undesired solicitude sides. with a disarmingly winning smile, as, settling himself squarely in his saddle, the amused He was made to groom his own horse, to archduke replied, slowly, softly, but with com- saddle and bridle and feed it, to serve and plete and inexorable obstinacy, "I won't go." maneuver a cannon. He was put through - MARGARET CUNLIFFE-OWEN, “A Keystone of ordinary infantry drill, was taught to lay mines under the direction of a colonel of sap- Empire,” Copyright, Harper & Brothers. pers, to handle a pick and shovel shoulder A very valiant youth, no doubt, but at to shoulder with the gray-uniformed men of the same time impetuous and sensual. In the pioneer corps, and from six in the morn fact, he admired fresh, handsome women. ing until late at night the lad labored almost Why not? He was young and handsome. Be- unceasingly, dropping rifle and sword only sides, he was the emperor. But the noble to sit before a desk where his theoretical and damsels resorted to all sorts of devices to classical education was pursued most indus. escape him. Here is an example. At that triously. time there was a very fashionable dance. First the men, that is, the emperor and the The field marshal did not relish the re- noblest lords, took their places in the chief sponsibility placed upon him by the arrival hall with their partners, all the prettiest of the heir-apparent to go under fire for the Contesseln, or little countesses, as they were first time under his-Radetsky's-orders, and called with an affectionate diminutive. The almost comically did the face of the young old dignitaries, the honest pot-bellied fathers archduke lengthen when the blunt-spoken of families, the mothers who hid their elderly old warrior curtly exclaimed: “Your imperial bodies in vast crinolines, were all banished highness's presence is very disagreeable to to adjacent rooms. Only the young people me. Should anything happen to you what were admitted to the chief hall. Now the men will be said to me?-and if you should be grouped themselves on one side, the ladies on taken prisoner all the advantages that I the other. There was a big empty space in might otherwise gain over the enemy will, of the middle, so that the servants could draw course, be set at naught.”. He spoke per- a curtain that hung on a rope from one wall emptorily, his multitudinous wrinkles expres- to the other at a little more than a man's sive of extreme displeasure, his bold, unflinch- height above the floor. It was of rich red ing hawk eyes forcing themselves to forget velvet, with long, gilded fringes that shivered that he was addressing his future sovereign. The archduke could not repress a nervous and and glittered in the splendor of the illumina- rather abashed little laugh, but, with a slight- tions. These fringes, unlike most things in ly breathless and triumphant enunciation, he this world, were there for an object. All the replied: "Herr Feld-Marschall, it may have girls were drawn up in a row behind the cur- been imprudent to send me here, but here I tain and each had to show a little foot under am, and here I stay. It is my place.” Then, the fringe, and one hand—I forget whether drawing himself up and saluting stiffy, he it was the right or left-had to be stretched added, “I have the honor to report myself for above the rope. It was a fancy pair of feet duty." . . . It would take a cleverer pen and hands, where the men had to choose part- than mine to adequately describe the look of / ners from those graceful indications. When absolute anguish which so many noticed on all the choices had been made, the curtain 203 Francis Joseph, Emperor OF THE GREAT fell, each claimed his partner and the dance grasp a word, made his reply to the compli- began. Unless a foreign sovereign was among ments which had been showered upon him. the guests, the emperor had the privilege of But he saw the faces of his hearers darken, the first choice, and he was very keen about instead of brightening, while stupefaction it, for he had to stand in the middle of the manifested itself on the courtiers' features. hall with his partner, while the other couples At the hospital the same looks, the same em- gathered around him slowly one by one. And barrassment and the same coldness followed in order that his choice might not be left his words. The emperor, speaking in sufii- entirely to blind chance, he used, if rumor ciently good Hungarian, accompanied by suit- may be believed, to have recourse to all sorts able actions, had praised at the military of strange stratagems in collusion with the school the excellent care shown to the sick venal shoemakers of Vienna. The shape or and at the hospital the precision of the man- color of the shoes, some cunning innovation, euvers executed in his presence. He had an eccentric buckle, served to betray the little shuffled the speeches. The Hungarians have countesses. But they were quick enough to never forgiven him for this unintentional tumble to the game and, much craftier than mystification. As for the emperor, none of he, would change their little shoes behind his suite has ever dared to reveal to him a door or screen, under the very nose of some what he did. fat excellency. In 1851, three years after his accession to One evening, when the aide-de-camp came the throne and when he was twenty-one years up to my young mother to command her to of age, the emperor was visited in his capi- dance with the emperor, her father, the Count tal by his majesty Nicholas I., the Tsar of All of Strachwitz, an old and very great noble, the Russias. While they were out driving replied with firmness and dignity, "I forbid through Vienna, a Cossack's horse took fright, it.” And his courage was secretly admired. bolted and threw its rider. The emperor, in HERBERT VIVIAN, “Francis Joseph and His an instant, at the risk of breaking his neck, Court," from the memoirs of Count Roger de leaped from the carriage, seized the horse Resseguier, Copyright, John Lane Company. by the mane, sprang on its back, conquered it and brought it back, sweating and quivering, It can truly be said that one of the to the side of the imperial carriage. reasons (but one of the reasons only) of the hostility of the Hungarians towards the per In 1852, four years after his accession to son of their sovereign lies in his ignorance the throne, the emperor was out with his of their language. His first estrangement gun on the outskirts of Muerzzuschlag, near from them, a grave and lasting estrangement, Vienna, where he owned some shooting in dates from a very distant period. When he the middle of the preserves. As was his wont, was quite a young ruler, Francis Joseph made he was alone, having sent away even his a tour of his dominions. His first visit was bearer, to get the full egotistical enjoyment to Buda-Pesth, an official visit if there ever out of his favorite pursuit. In his excite- was one, accompanied by all the ordinary and ment he failed to notice that he had crossed extraordinary ceremonies which make such the boundaries of the imperial property. Sud- journeys burdensome. Notable items of the denly, a few paces ahead of him, a magnifi- progress were the inspection of a military cent pheasant got up. Francis Joseph took school and a call at a hospital. Speeches had, aim and was about to fire, when a loud voice of course, to be made in both places; and, broke upon his ears, "If you shoot that equally, of course, they must be made in Hun pheasant, I will put a charge of lead through garian, since Buda-Pesth could not imagine you." Lowering his gun and scarlet with that the sovereign was without a knowledge, anger Francis Joseph asked who it was that or at least an official knowledge, of the Hun dared to speak to him thus. “I do, my young garian tongue. As he did not understand a fellow," said a big man in shooting costume, word of Hungarian, and as he must speak, as he emerged from the wood. Francis Jo- and not read, his speeches, to avoid hurting seph was on the point of revealing that he was Magyar susceptibilities, the Talma of this the emperor, but restrained himself in rueful Napoleon had made him learn by heart two amusement at the unforeseen incident. But little addresses, with the appropriate gestures it was with his customary haughtiness that to accompany the words. Rehearsals had he replied, “What have I done wrong, my taken place and all promised well. The hour fine fellow pu "Don't take the trouble to be arrived. The military school inspection came humorous, or you will tire yourself. You are first. The emperor, after smiling at the con shooting on my property, that is all, and you ventional addresses, of which he could not l are well aware of the fact. Ceme now, fol- Francis Joseph, Emperor WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 204 low me to the house, where I will write out my statement of complaint. And mean- while give me your gun.” “Suppose I de- cline?" "If you decline, all is quite simple. You come from the imperial preserves and I shall complain to the emperor.” Francis Joseph could not check a smile as he asked, “Are you acquainted with the emperor?" “No, I am not, but you need not look clever. His majesty is fond of shooting and he can- not refuse to be just. He will understand my position.” “Very well, you are right and I admit that I am to blame.” The emperor handed over his gun and followed the surly sportsman without further talk to the house, or rather the farm. Now, this country gen- tleman was Baron N., and in the hall they met the baroness, a sweet and gracious young lady, who, for all her fragile appearance, seemed to dominate her big, burly husband. The baron told her what had happened and led the way to his room. The young emperor assumed his most winning air, while he con- strained his handsome features to wear a submissive, pleading and sorrowful look. The lady of the house was not proof against these wiles and, when Francis Joseph had exten- uated his mistake saying that he had sinned through ignorance and devotion to sport, she intervened to ask that he might be forgiven. The baron held out until she begged him in a soft, musical voice not to refuse her request. Then he caught her in his arms, and in spite of her embarrassed struggles planted a sound- ing kiss upon her neck, and, turning to his prisoner, said with a loud, clumsy laugh, “You ought to thank heaven, young man, that the baroness presented me with a son only three weeks ago. But for that you wouldn't get off. Shake hands now.” Fran- cis Joseph put his hand into the baron's great, horny fist and peace was declared. The baron proposing a drink, to show that no ill feeling remained, a move was made to the dining room. As the glasses chinked, tongues became looser, and after a long talk the emperor (who had made himself out to be an officer in the imperial guard) learning that the baptism of the son and heir was to take place in fifteen days' time, offered to be the godfather. The offer was accepted with good will and as soon as the young sports- man had taken his departure the little house rang with praises of his genteel manners and unaffected affability. This estimate was doomed to be soon upset. On the day of the baptism there was a gathering at the farm house of all of Ni's family and friends. They were waiting for the promised godfather, when, preceded by the imperial outriders, a state coach drew up at the door. The young sportsman got out in full general's uniform, followed by two aides-de-camp, while a foot- man announced, "His majesty, the emperor." The confusion of the baron and baroness can be imagined One Whit-Monday, on a clear sunny spring day, Francis Joseph left Vienna at early dawn to shoot at Muerzzuschlag. He was to be back the same night and orders had been given to the stationmaster at Muerzzuschlag to have the imperial train ready to leave for Vienna at 5 p. m. ... Now it happened that the emperor, having had a bad day's sport, wearied of his favorite pastime before the appointed hour and reached the station a little before 4.30. He was in a very bad tem- per and immediately sent his aide-de-camp to the stationmaster with an order to put on the imperial train at once. The Suedbahn's official raised his hands to heaven at such an idea and swore that it was impossible to car- ry out the emperor's wish. It was in vain for the aide-de-camp to declare that the emperor was furious and did not mean to wait, and that any disregard of the order would cost the stationmaster dear. The latter insisted that with the best will in the world he could not possibly despatch the train to Vienna be. fore the appointed hour. Having spoken he proceeded to sign the order for the departure of a train to Trieste, while the aide-de-camp went back to the emperor. Francis Joseph, we know, could not see beyond his own de- sires, and the least obstacle in his way stirred him up to the point of exasperation. The train for Trieste had not left when a stir was seen on the platform. The emperor marched straight up to the stationmaster, who at the moment was signing the guard's papers. The official, alarmed but firm, as- sumed the military attitude, saluted and stood waiting. "I wish to leave at once," said the emperor. “Your majesty, in spite of my earnest desire to obey your orders, I cannot possibly do so." "Why?" "The re. sponsibility of the traffic prevents me.” “And I, your emperor, command you." "I beg your majesty's pardon, but I cannot fulfil your command.” Francis Joseph turned round to his suite, who were listening, pale with ex- citement, to the conversation. With a short, dry laugh, frowning brows and an ugly look in his eyes he said to them, “I must say, gentlemen, the position is at least strange. You are witnesses of an unprecedented event. Your sovereign is the prisoner of a railway official.” Still keeping up his ironical tone, he asked the stationmaster, who had re. 205 Francis Joseph, Emperor OF THE GREAT mained standing like a soldier, “And when, gown, carrying a lighted candle. The sound sir, shall we be permitted to leave?" "Your of footsteps had alarmed her and, naturally majesty's train will leave the platform at when she saw the figure of a man, her first five o'clock sharp.” . . . Three hours after impulse was to scream. Francis Joseph came the imperial train had left Muerzzuschlag, | forward quickly. "Be quiet, you stupid wom. the stationmaster, who was expecting a let. an. Don't you know me? I'm the emperor," ter of dismissal from his petty office the next he said in a low voice. The incredulous cook day, received a telegraphic message announc-| was taken aback, for in her wildest flights of ing to him that he was made Knight of the imagination she had never pictured herself Imperial and Royal Order of Francis Joseph meeting the emperor of Austria wandering by the direct appointment of the emperor, about late at night. Still doubtful, she who, according to the message, "had personal. turned the light of the candle full on the ly noticed the precision and attention to dig stranger's face and as she did so she recog- cipline in the exercise of his difficult and nized the well-known features of Francis most responsible duties." HENRI DE WEIN Joseph. The loyal woman instantly fell on DEL, "The Real Francis Joseph." her knees and began to sing the national an- While shooting one day, quite unattend. them at the top of her voice. The emperor made a hurried exit and I doubt whether a ed, in the woods of one of his Styrian es- patriotic hymn has ever been sung under tates, he came upon a couple of poachers, more ridiculous circumstances.-COUNTESS who might, had they chosen, made their es- MARIE LARISCH, "My Past,” Copyright, G. P. cape, or even have attacked him, as has so Putnam's Sons. often happened in Europe to territorial mag- nates in lonely portions of their forest pre Francis Joseph had a holy horror of serves, but, recognizing the emperor, they fell | electric light. ... So even at high court on their knees and humbly begged his pardon. festivals, the imperial orders were that fine- Finding themselves answered in a kindly wax candles or Wollrath, a fat, perfumed sub- tone, the men took heart to explain that they stance extracted from the brains of whales, were both old soldiers who had fallen on evil should be used to light up the halls of the days, and that, having many hungry mouths | Hofburg. to feed, they had been forced to seek a main- tenance in any fashion that came to hand. Officers' boots must not be varnished or Game laws in Austria are very strict, and have any sewing or pattern on the toes. The when the emperor had left them, after taking penalty is Zimmerarrest, confinement to your down their names and addresses, the two poor room. It has happened to many men to en- wretches spent more than one mauvais quart ter the royal palace with beautifully shining d'heure of quaking apprehension. Judge, boots and to go out again very quickly to therefore, what must have been their aston- shut themselves up at home for who knows ishment and joy when they found themselves how many days. Then the law is that gloves appointed gamekeepers on the very estate are to be of plain wash leather. One day upon which they had been poaching! Inves- the young Prince of Thurn and Taxis came to tigation had proven their stories to be abso court in glacé gloves and could escape only lutely true.-CUNLIFFE-OWEN. with the utmost difficulty from the fury of his epileptic majesty. Frau Schratt has a beautiful villa, in the Glorienstrasse at Hietzing, which is a per-| Rudolph shared his father's fervent love fect storehouse of lovely things and includ for women and the chase; it was not the ed many presents from the emperor. She also same with his military ardor. Indeed, all has a little cottage at Ischl and whenever idea of discipline was repugnant to his free Francis Joseph is there Katrina is always at spirit. And by making militarism the basis the cottage and the emperor invariably takes of all their relationship, Francis Joseph es- tea with her. There is an amusing story tranged him more and more, nourishing re- about an evening visit which the emperor bellion in his heart. It is related how the once paid his friend. He had remained emperor alighted one day at a station where rather late and, with his usual consideration, his son, who had become a colonel, was wait- Francis Joseph, who did not wish to disturb ing for him with a number of officers. Ru- the sleeping household, made as little noise dolph had not seen his father for some time as possible as he walked down a passage and came forward to embrace him. But which led to the garden entrance; but just Francis Joseph checked his impulse with mili- as he reached it a door opened and Frau | tary coldness and said, "Have you any report Schratt’s new cook came out in her night to make to me, Colonel ?”—VIVIAN, Franklin, Benjamin 206 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES FRANKLIN, Benjamin, 1706-1790. Ameri period the Americans have imported great can statesman. quantities of plaster of paris.-JEAN AN- TOINE CHAPTAL, “Agricultural Chemistry." In the field of Science He [Jefferson) set the Londoners right I amused myself one day with flying a on one point. The crack invention of the mo- paper kite and, approaching the bank of a ment was a carriage wheel, the circumfer- pond which was nearly a mile broad, I tied ence of which was made of a single piece of the string to a stake and the kite ascended to wood. As these wheels were patented and a very considerable height above the pond made in London, the invention was claimed while I was swimming. In a little time, be- as English. He told his friends, and caused ing desirous of amusing myself with my kite the fact to be published, that the farmers in and enjoy at the same time the pleasure of New Jersey were the first, since Homer's day, swimming, I returned and, loosing from the who were known to have formed wheels in stake the string with the little stick which that manner. Dr. Franklin, some years be- was fastened to it, went again into the water fore, had chanced to mention it to the per- where I found that, lying on my back and son who then held the patent. The idea holding the stick in my hands, I was drawn struck him and the doctor went to his shop along the surface of the water in a very and assisted him in making a wheel of one agreeable manner. Having then engaged an- piece. The Jerseyman did it by merely bend- other boy to carry my clothes around the ing a green sapling and leaving it bent until pond to a place which I pointed out to him it was set; but as in London there were no on the other side, I began to cross the pond saplings, the philosopher was kept experi- with my kite, which carried me quite over menting for several weeks. He triumphed at without the least fatigue and with the great- length and made a free gift of the process to est pleasure imaginable. I was only obliged the carriage-maker, who made a fortune by it. occasionally to halt a little in my course and Jefferson visited the shop where Dr. Franklin resist the progress when it appeared that by had worked out the idea, where he received following too quick I lowered the kite too the story from the owner, who gave the whole much, by doing which occasionally I made it credit to Franklin and "spoke of him with rise again. I have never since that time love and gratitude.” He also found in the practised that singular mode of swimming, “Iliad” the passage which proves that the though I think it not impossible to cross in Greeks and the Jersey farmers employed the this manner from Dover to Calais. The same process: "He fell on the ground like a packet boat, however, is still preferable.- poplar which has grown smooth in the west- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, letter to M. Dubourg. ern part of a great meadow, with its branches Mr. Watson [“Annals of Philadelphia”] shooting from its summit. But the chariot- relates another anecdote. He says that the maker with the sharp ax has felled it, that yellow willow tree, now so common through- | he may bend a wheel for a beautiful chariot. out the country, was first introduced into | It lies drying on the banks of a river."- America by Franklin. A wicker basket, made JAMES PARTON, The Atlantic Monthly, Oc- of willow, in which some foreign article had | tober, 1872. been imported, he saw sprouting in a ditch, Since Franklin's sublime invasion of the and directed some of the twigs to be planted. clouds with his electrical kite, nothing has so They took root, and from these shoots are startled and excited scientific circles as these supposed to have sprung all the yellow wil balloon ascensions; which, like the kite ex- lows which have grown on this side of the periment, interested the multitude no less Atlantic.-JARED SPARKS, "Notes to Frank than the learned. "What is the use of this lin's Autobiography.” new invention?” someone asked Franklin. As this celebrated philosopher wished “What is the use of a new-born child ?" was that the effects of this manure [plaster of his reply.—JAMES PARTON, quoting "Mem- paris) should strike the gaze of all cultiva. oirs of Baron de Grimm.” tors, he wrote in great letters, formed by the The weakest manifestation of British use of the ground plaster, in a field of clover spleen, however, was an act of the poor, blind lying upon a great road, “This has been plas- | king. The Proudfleet powder magazine, pro- tered.” The prodigious vegetation, which tected by lightning-rods of Franklin's own was developed in the plastered portion, led selection, was struck by lightning and es. him to adopt this method. Volumes on the caped without explosion or even serious in- excellency of the plaster could not have pro- | jury. This event having revived the old duced so speedy a revolution. From that | controversy whether lightning-rods should 207 Prankun, Bonjamin OF THE GREAT be blunt or pointed, Dr. Wilson led the as and most destructive machine for burning sault upon Franklin's opinion and stoutly towns. Two hundred years sooner the same contended for blunt. How easy to convince persone would have accused him of magic.- & George III. at that time that Franklin's HORACE WALPOLE, “Memoirs of the Reign of opinions were erroneous! Down came the George III.” Franklinian pointed conductors from the Arthur Lee told me an anecdote of Benja- powder magazine and from Buckingham Pal- min Franklin, which is very characteristic of ace, the king's own residence, and in their the man. When he was to be presented to stead appeared Dr. Wilson's blunt ones. The the French king by Vergennes, the count sent retort of Franklin (letter to Mr. Wilson, a perruquier to the American, for the purpose Passy, October 14, 1777] when he was in- of fitting him with a wig fashioned for the formed of this ridiculous event, has been day. The perruque was brought to Franklin often quoted. "The king's changing his point- an hour before the time fixed for his pres- ed conductors for blunt ones is a matter of entation. The philosopher attempted to put small importance to me. If I had a wish it on. Alas, it would not go on his head. about it, it would be that he had rejected “Sir," said Franklin, “your perruque is un. them altogether as ineffectual. For it is only fortunately too small for my head.” “Par- since he thought himself and his family safe donnez moi, Monsieur," replied the perru- from the thunders of heaven, that he dared quier, "your head, sir, is vastly too large and to use his own thunder in destroying his quite beyond the fashion of the court." innocent subjects.”-JAMES PARTON, “Life of Franklin appeared, therefore, at court with Franklin." his bald pate and shaggy, gray hair. It An anecdote of Dr. Franklin we will take might be truly said that there was not such this opportunity of adding. Since being at another head at Versailles.—LADY CHARLOTTE Paris, the Pennsylvania stoves, invented by BURY, “Diary.” . him, are become fashionable, but one of the After dinner we went to the Academy of ministers, being asked if he would have one, Sciences and heard M. d'Alembert, as per- replied, “By no means—Lord Stormont then petual secretary, pronounce eulogies on sev- will never warm himself at my fire.”-The eral of their members, lately deceased. Vol. Gentleman's Magazine, March, 1778. taire and Franklin were both present and We are informed by Cabanis that Frank. there presently arose a general cry that M. Voltaire and M. Franklin should be intro- lin on several occasions mentioned to him that he had been assisted in his dreams on duced to each other. This was done and they the issue of many affairs in which he was bowed and spoke to each other; this was no engaged.-Harper's Magazine, May, 1851. satisfaction-there must be something more. Neither of the philosophers seemed to divine what was wished or expected; they, however, In Europe took each other by the hand. But this was In the course of conversation Dr. Frank not enough; the clamor continued until the lin said, that more than sixteen years ago, explanation came out. “They ought to em- long before any dispute with America, the brace after the French fashion.” The two present Lord Camden, then Mr. Pratt, said aged actors upon this great theater of phi- to him, “For all what you Americans say losophy and frivolity then embraced each of your loyalty and all that, I know you will other, by hugging one another in their arms one day throw off your dependence on this and kissing each other's cheeks, and then country and, notwithstanding your boasted the tumult subsided. And the cry imme- affection for it, you will set up for inde- diately spread through the whole kingdom pendence.” Dr. Franklin said that he an- and, I suppose, all over Europe. "It was swered him, "No such idea was ever enter charming to see the embraces of Solon and tained by Americans nor will any such ever Sophocles.”-JOHN ADAMS, “Diary and Auto- enter their heads unless you grossly abuse biography.” them.” “Very true," replied Mr. Pratt, “that Elegant fêtes were given to Dr. Frank- is one of the main causes I see will happen lin, who united the renown of one of the and will produce the event.”—JOSIAH QUINCY, most skilful naturalists with the patriotic JR., "Journal." virtues which made him embrace the noble Dr. Franklin, too, was involved in the role of the apostle of liberty. I was present charge (of the attempted burning of Ports- / at one of these fêtes, where the most beau- mouth]; the ministers, to decry him, pre- tiful of three hundred women was designated tended to believe that he had invented a new | to go and place on the philosopher's white Franklin, Benjamin 208 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES locks a crown of laurel and to give the old been improperly used by him; and the Solici- man two kisses on his cheeks.-MADAME tor-General's classical wit was displayed in CAMPAN, "Memoirs." jesting upon that illustrious person's literary Franklin sent his compliments, request- character and calling him a man of three letters, the old Roman joke for a thief. ... ing to spend the evening with Mr. Gibbon. In answer he received a card, importing that, That the speech and the whole scene were not without their effect upon him who was the notwithstanding Mr. Gibbon's regard for the character of Mr. Franklin, he could not recon- principal object of attack, appears sufficiently certain; for though, at the moment, a mag- cile it with his duty to his king to have nanimous, and indeed somewhat overdone, any conversation with a revolted subject. Franklin in reply wrote a note declaring that expression of contempt for the speaker is though Mr. Gibbon's principles had compelled reported to have escaped him in answer to one him to withhold the pleasure of his conversa- who hoped, rather clumsily, that he did not feel hurt, "I should think myself meaner tion, Dr. Franklin still had such respect for the character of Mr. Gibbon as a gentleman than I have been described, if anything com- and a historian that when, in the course of ing from such a quarter could vex me”; yet it is well known that, when the ambassadors his writing the history of the decline and fall of empires, the decline and fall of the were met to sign the treaty of Versailles, by which the independence of America was ac- British empire should come to be his subject, knowledged, Franklin retired in order to as he expects it soon would, Dr. Franklin would be happy to furnish him with ample change his dress and affix his name to the treaty in those very garments which he wore materials which were in his possession.- when attending the privy council, and which WILLIAM COBBETT, "Works,” Vol. VII., page 244. he had kept by him for the purpose during many years, a little inconsistently, it must Dr. Franklin never forgets any party be confessed, with the language of contemptu- where Madame lielvetius is to be. He be ous indifference used by him at the moment. lieves even that if he were engaged to go to -LORD BROUGHAM, “Lord Loughborough.' Paradise this morning he would beg to be This statement is entirely erroneous. allowed to remain on earth until half past one o'clock in order to receive the salutation The report was fabricated in England, at she kindly promised him on meeting him at a time when the treaty was a topic of ve- M. Turgot's.-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, letter. hement discussion; and it was eagerly seized upon to gratify the malevolence of a disap- From France come some anecdotes of pointed party. When it appeared in print it Franklin, gathered from old French papers was immediately contradicted by Mr. White- and reproduced in the Moniteur. This is a foord, who was present at the signing of the characteristic one of that fine old personage: | treaty and affixed his name to it as secretary He once "assisted" at a literary reunion to the English commissioner. “This absurd where several original articles were read and, story," says Mr. Whitefoord, “has no founda- not understanding well the French when tion but in the imagination of the inventor. read or declaimed and wishing to show him He supposes that the act of signing the treaty self polite and appreciative, he resolved to of peace took place at the house of Dr. applaud whenever he saw Madame Boufflers, Franklin. The fact is otherwise; the con- a friend of his, show marks of approbation. ferences were held and the treaty was signed After the reunion, his little son said to him, at the hotel of the British commissioner, “Papa, you applauded everything and more where Dr. Franklin and the other American than anybody else when they praised you." commissioners gave their attendance for that Franklin used to describe his embarrassment purpose. The court of Versailles having at and the effort he made to recover himself. that time gone into mourning for the death Harper's Magazine, December, 1873. of some German prince, the doctor of course Of Mr. Wedderburn's privy council was dressed in a suit of black cloth; and it speech nothing remains but a small portion is in the recollection of the writer of this, of his invective against Franklin, which, and also he believes of many other people, being couched in epigram and conveyed by that when the memorable philippic was pro- classical allusion, has been preserved, as nounced against Dr. Franklin in the privy almost always happens to what is thus council, he was dressed in a suit of figured sheathed. It refers to some letters of a Manchester velvet.” See the whole of Mr. colonial governor, which, it is alleged, had | Whitefoord's letter in The Gentleman's Mag- come unfairly into Franklin's hands and 1 azine for July, 1785, p. 561. The error 209 Pranklin, Benjamin OF THE GREAT may have arisen from the circumstance, stat. of appearance, or fine clothes, fine houses, ed on the authority of Silas Deane and Ed- fine furniture, fine equipages, all above his ward Bancroft, that, when the treaty of al fortune, for which he contracts debts and liance between France and the United States ends his career in prison, "Alas," said I, "he was signed, Franklin was dressed in this suit | paid dear, very dear, for his whistle.” When of velvet. ---JARED SPARKS, “Notes to Life of I see a beautiful sweet-tempered girl mar- Franklin." ried to an ill-natured brute of a husband, "What a pity," say I, “that she should pay Franklin Anecdotes so much for a whistle.” In short, I conceive When I was a child of seven years old, that great part of the miseries of mankind my friends, on a holiday, filled my pockets are brought upon them by the false esti- with coppers. I went directly to a shop mates they have made of the value of things where they sold toys for children; and, be and by "giving too much for their whistles." ing charmed by the sound of a whistle, that --BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, letter to Madame I met by the way in the hands of another Brillon, Passy, November 10, 1779. boy, I voluntarily offered and gave all my The boy, we are told, found the long money for one. I then came home and went graces used by his father before and after whistling all over the house, much pleased meals very tedious. One day, after the with my whistle, but disturbing all the fam- winter's provisions had been salted, "I think, ily. My brothers, and sisters, and cousins, father," said Benjamin, “if you were to say understanding the bargain I had made, told grace over the whole cask, once for all, it me I had given four times as much for it as would be a vast saving of time."—W. TEMPLE it was worth; put me in mind of the good FRANKLIN, “Works of Benjamin Franklin.” things I might have bought with the rest of the money; and laughed at me so much for You mention your being in your seventy- my folly, that I cried with vexation; and eighth year; I am in my seventy-ninth; we the reflection gave me more chagrin than the are grown old together. It is now more whistle gave me pleasure. This, however, was than sixty years since I left Boston, but I afterwards of use to me, the impression con- well remember both your father and grand- tinuing on my mind; so that often, when I father, having heard them both in the pulpit was tempted to buy some unnecessary thing, and seen them in their houses. The last I said to myself, "Don't give too much for the time I saw your father was in the beginning whistle"; and I saved my money. As I of 1724, when I visited him after my first grew up, came into the world, and observed trip to Pennsylvania. He received me in his the actions of men, I thought I met with library and on my taking leave showed me many, very many, that gave too much for the a shorter way out of the house through a whistle. When I saw one too ambitious to narrow passage, which was crossed by a court favor, sacrificing his time in atten- beam overhead. We were still talking as I dance on levees, his repose, his liberty, his withdrew, he accompanying me behind, and I virtue and perhaps his friends to attain it, was turning partly towards him when he I have said to myself, “This man gives too said hastily, “Stoop! stoop!” I did not un- much for his whistle.” When I saw another derstand him until I felt my head hit the fond of popularity, constantly employing him- beam. He was a man that never missed any self in political bustles, neglecting his own occasion of giving instruction, and upon this affairs, and ruining them by that neglect, he said to me, “You are young, and have "He pays, indeed,” said I, “too much for his the world before you; stoop as you go through whistle.” If I knew a miser, who gave up it and you will miss many hard thumps." every kind of comfortable living, all the This advice, thus beat into my head, has pleasure of doing good to others, all the frequently been of use to me; and I often esteem of his fellow citizens, and the joys of think of it when I see pride mortified and benevolent friendship, for the sake of accu- misfortunes brought upon people by carry- mulating wealth, “Poor man,” said I, "you ing their heads too high.-BENJAMIN FRANK- LIN, letter to Samuel Mather, Passy, May pay too much for your whistle.” When I met with a man of pleasure, sacrificing every 12, 1784. laudable improvement of the mind, or of his The following characteristic advertise- fortune, to mere corporeal sensations, and ment is contained in the Philadelphia Gazette ruining his health in their pursuit, "Mis for June 23, 1737: “Taken out of a pew in taken man,” said I, "you are providing pain the Church, some months since, a Common for yourself, instead of pleasure; you give too Prayer Book, bound in red, gilt, and lettered much for your whistle.” If I see one fond | D. F. (Deborah Franklin) on each cover. Franklin, Benjamin 210 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The person who took it is desired to open it and read the Eighth Commandment, and afterwards return it into the same pew again; upon which no further notice will be taken.” JARED SPARKS, “Life of Franklin.” But the reader must not conclude that Ben through life tied himself up to a vege- table diet. No.... On his first voyage to New York, the vessel halting for lack of breeze, the sailors all fell to fishing for cod, of which they presently took great numbers and very fine. Instead of being delighted at this sight, Ben appeared to be much hurt and began to preach to the crew on the in- justice, as he called it, in taking away the lives of those poor little fish, that had never injured them, nor ever could. The sailors were utterly dumbfounded at such queer logic as this. Taking their silence for conviction, Ben rose in his argument and began to play the orator quite outrageously on the main deck. At length an old wag of a boatswain, who had at first been struck somewhat aback by the strangeness of this attack, took cour- age, and, luffing up again with a fine breeze of humor in his weather-beaten sail, called out to Ben, “Well, but my young master preacher, may we not deal by these same cod here as they deal by their neighbors ?” “TO be sure," said Ben. “Well, then, sir, see here,” replied the boatswain, holding up a stout fish, "see here what a whaler I took just now out of the belly of that cod.” Ben looking as if he had his doubts, the boatswain went on, “Oh, sir, if you come to that, you shall have proof,” whereupon he laid hold of a big-bellied cod that was just then flouncing on the deck and, ripping him open in the presence of Ben and the crew, turned out several young cod from his maw. ... Ben never after this made any scruples about animal food.-M. L. WEEMS, "Life of Ben- jamin Franklin.” A characteristic anecdote has been re- lated of Franklin illustrative of his inde- pendence as an editor. Soon after the es- tablishment of his newspaper, he found oc- casion to remark with some degree of free- dom on the public conduct of one or two persons of high standing in Philadelphia. This course was disapproved by some of his patrons, who sought an opportunity to con- vey to him their views of the subject, and what they represented to be the opinion of his friends. He listened patiently and re- plied by requesting that they would favor him with their company at supper, and bring with them the other gentlemen who had ex. pressed dissatisfaction. The time arrived and the guests assembled. He received them cordially and listened again to their friendly reproofs of his editorial conduct. At length supper was announced; but, when the guests had seated themselves around the table, they were surprised to see nothing before them but two puddings, made of coarse meal, called sawdust puddings in the common phrase, and a stone pitcher filled with water. He helped them all and then applied himself to his own plate, partaking freely of the repast and urging his friends to do the same. They taxed their politeness to the utmost, but all in vain; their appetites refused obedience to the will. Perceiving their difficulty Franklin at last arose and said, "My friends, any one who can subsist on sawdust pudding and water, as I can, needs no man's patronage." --JARED SPARKS, notes to "Franklin's Auto- biography.” My being many years in the assembly, a majority of which were constantly Quakers, gave me frequent opportunity of seeing the embarrassment given them by their principle against war, whenever an application was made to them, by order of the crown, to grant aid for military purposes. ... Thus, when powder was wanting (I think it was for the garrison at Louisburg) and the gov. ernment of New England solicited a grant of some from Pennsylvania, which was much urged on the House by Governor Thomas, they would not grant money to buy powder, be- cause that was an ingredient of war; but they voted an aid to New England of three thousand pounds, to be put into the hands of the governor, and appropriated it for the purchase of bread, flour, wheat and other grain. Some of the Council, desiring to give the House still further embarrassment, ad. vised the governor not to accept the provision, as not being the thing he had demanded; but he replied, "I shall take the money, for I understand very well their meaning; 'other grain' is gunpowder," which he accordingly bought, and they never objected to it. It was in allusion to this fact that, when in our fire company we feared the success in favor of the proposal in favor of a lottery, and I said to a friend of mine, one of our members, “If we fail, let us move the pur- chase of a fire engine with the money; the Quakers can have no objection to that; and then, if you nominate me, and I you, as a committee for that purpose, we will buy a great gun, which is certainly a fire engine.” "I see,” said he, "you have improved by be- ing so long in the assembly; your equivocal project would be just a match for their 'wheat 211 Frgarlin, Benjamin OF THE GREAT and other grain.'"--BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, At a learned table in Paris, where Dr. “Autobiography.” Franklin happened to dine, it was asked by the Abbé Raynal, “What description of man Mr. Jefferson relates a characteristic most deserves pity?” Some mentioned one anecdote of Franklin; being annoyed by the character, some another. When it came to alterations being made in his draft [of the Franklin's turn, he replied, "A lonesome man Declaration of Independence], while it was on a rainy day who does not know how to under discussion, and at the censures freely read.”—M. L. WEEMS, "Life of Benjamin bestowed upon parts of it, he began to fear Franklin." it would be dissected and mangled until a skeleton only would remain. "I was sit. We had for our chaplain a zealous Pres- ting,” he observes, “by Dr. Franklin, who byterian minister, Mr. Beatty, who com- perceived that I was not insensible to these plained to me that the men did not generally mutilations. I have made it a rule,' said attend his prayers and exhortations. When he, 'whenever in my power, to avoid becom they enlisted they were promised, besides pay ing the draftsman of papers to be reviewed and provisions, a gill of rum a day, which by a public body. I took my lesson from an was punctually served out to them, half in incident which I will relate to you. When the morning, and the other half in the even- I was a journeyman printer, one of my com ing; and I observed that they were punctual panions, an apprentice hatter, having served in attending to receive it; upon which I said out his time, was about to open shop for to Mr. Beatty, "It is perhaps below the dig- himself. His first concern was to have a nity of your profession to act as steward of handsome sign-board, with a proper inscrip the rum, but if you were only to distribute tion. He composed it in these words: John it out after prayers, you would have them Thompson, hatter, makes and sells hats for all about you.” He liked the thought, un- ready money, with a figure of a hat sub dertook the task, and, with the help of a joined. But he thought he would submit it few hands to measure out the liquor, executed to his friends for their amendments. The it to satisfaction; and never were prayers first he showed it to thought the word hatter | more generally and more punctually attended. tautologous, because followed by the words So that I think this method preferable to makes hats, which showed he was a hatter. the punishment inflicted by some military It was struck out. The next observed that laws for non-attendance on divine service.--- the word makes might as well be omitted, FRANKLIN, “Autobiography.” because his customers would not care who made the hats; if good and to their mind, A man, in buying an ax of a smith, they would buy. by whomsoever made. He / my neighbor, desired to have the whole of its struck it out. A third said he thought the surface as bright as the edge. The smith words for ready money were useless, as it consented to grind it bright for him if he was not the custom of the place to sell on would turn the wheel; he turned while the credit. Every one, who purchased, expected smith pressed the broad face of the ax to pay. They were parted with; and the in- hard and heavily on the stone, which made scription now stood-John Thompson sells ! the turning of it very fatiguing. The man hats. “Sells hats,” said his next friend; came every now and then from the wheel “why, nobody will expect you to give them to see how the work went on, and at length away. What then is the use of that word ?" would take his ax as it was, without fur. It was stricken out, and hats followed, the ther grinding. "No," said the smith; "turn rather, as there was one painted on the board. on; turn on; we shall have it bright by So his inscription was reduced ultimately to and by; as yet it is only speckled.” “Yes," John Thompson, with the figure of a hat said the man, “but I think I like a speckled subjoined.—JARED SPARKS, “Life of Benjamin ax best.” And I believe this may have Franklin.” been the case with many, who, having, for want of some such means as I employed, We might read that Hume thought it found the difficulty of obtaining good and well worth one's while to go twenty miles breaking bad habits in other points of vice out of his way to hear him (George White- and virtue, have given up the struggle and field); and that Dr. Franklin on one occasion, concluded that “a speckled ax is the instead of listening to the sermon, walked best."--BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, “Autobiog- from street to street in the neighborhood, to raphy.” make some exceedingly characteristic calcu- lations of the reach of his voice.-North A certain tailor once stole a horse and American Review, April, 1839. | was found out and committed to prison, Pranklin, Benjamin Frederick II. 212 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES where he met another person who had long FREDERICK II., 1712-1786. King of Prus- followed the trade of horse-stealing. The sia. tailor told the other his story. The other The Soldier inquired, "why he had not taken such a road and assumed such a disguise, and why he His first victory had a. peculiar result; he had not disguised the horse?” “I did not ran away from the battle-field of Molwitz, think of it.” “Who are you and what has and he ran so quickly and so far that he been your employment?" "A tailor.” “You was not aware until the next morning of the never stole a horse before in your life?” fact that a great victory had been won by "Never.” “Damn you, what business had you his army. ERNEST LAVISSE, "The Youth of with horse-stealing? Why did you not con- Frederick the Great." tent yourself with your cabbage?" In one of his battles, happening to turn Franklin told us one of his characteristic his head around, he saw his nephew, the stories. A Spanish writer of certain visions hereditary prince, fall to the ground, his of hell relates that a certain devil, who was horse being killed under him. Frederick, civil and well bred, showed him all the apart- thinking the rider was shot, cried, without ments in the place, among others, that of de- stopping, “Ah, there's the Prince of Prussia ceased kings. The Spaniard was much killed; let his saddle and bridle be taken care pleased at so illustrious a sight and, after of.”- Edinburgh Review, October, 1805, cit- viewing them for some time, said he would be ing Dieudonne Thiebault. glad to see the rest of them. “The rest ?” It is not impossible that this gave Fred- said the demon. “Here are all the kings that erick the Great the hint for the terrible coup ever reigned upon the earth, from the creation de théâtre in the tent of the officer, who, when to this day. What the devil would the man all lights had been forbidden under penalty have?”—JOHN ADAMS, "Diary,” May 1, 1778. of death, was found finishing a letter to his (Rev. Charles A. Goodrich, in his “Lives wife by the light of a taper: “Add a post- of the Signers of the Declaration of Inde- script: Before this reaches you I shall be pendence," tells a remarkable story about shot for disobedience of orders,” and shot he Franklin, on “the authority of an unknown was.-Quarterly Review, April, 1861. writer,” to the effect that Franklin believed A striking anecdote is given of General in "natural affection” being sufficiently strong Seidlitz, the officer who formed the Prussian to enable a mother to recognize her children cavalry. When only a lieutenant he hap- without any other evidences of their pres- pened to be near the king on a bridge which ence. Franklin, after many years' absence crossed the Oder. The king asked him: "If from his home, returned thither disguised and both the avenues of the bridge were pos- asked his mother for a meal and a night's sessed by the enemy, what would he do lodging. She yielded a reluctant consent to to disengage himself ?” Seidlitz, without mak- the former, but would have compelled him ing an answer, immediately leaped his horse to depart after supper had it not been for over the rails into the river, and, notwith- the interference of others in the household. standing its breadth and rapidity, swam safe- He was permitted to sleep in a chair by the ly to shore. The king, who took it for granted fireside, the porter having been given in- that he must be drowned, on seeing him come structions to sleep in the same room and towards him, said in French: “Major, I beg keep a watch on the man whom his mother of you not to run such hazards in future.” suspected of being a burglar. In the morn- Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, October, ing Franklin disclosed his identity, but "how 1844, citing “Diaries and Correspondence of the Doctor discovered himself to his mother, the First Earl of Malmesbury." he has not informed us; but from the above experiment he was firmly convinced, and was The immense popularity which Frederick often afterwards heard to declare, that nat had acquired in his army he owed more to ural affection did not exist." This anecdote his charlatanism than to his military genius. is told of Franklin by other writers, but it | When he was passing a review, and he fre- seems evident that it lacks even the slightest | quently did, he was given a dozen notes re- basis of truth, as Franklin, according to the lating to divers officers and soldiers. On a most reliable writers, some of whom in- | slip of paper, which he held in his hand. vestigated this very anecdote, was never | were given the name and biography of an away from his mother long enough to individual in his army, the number of his have admitted of attempting the experi. regiment, the battalion and the company. ment.) The king knew in what line the man stood, 213 L. OF THE GREAT Froderick Franklin, Benjamin MAS CAMPBELL, what place he occupied in the line. Frederick, passing before his troops at the amble of "Frederick the Great and his Times." his white horse, counted the rows, came be Frederick's attachment to his dogs, fore his soldier and stopped. “Good morn- which had been one of his earliest passions, ing, so-and-so. Well, you know the news: continued unabated to the end of his life. your sister is married. Yesterday I received The breed which he preferred was that of word about it from Breslau. That marriage the Italian greyhound, of which he had al- pleases me very much. You will so inform ways five or six in the room with him. Zim- your father at the first opportunity.” “Yes, mermann describes them as placed on blue sire." "He was a brave fellow, your father, satin chairs and couches, near the king's arm- one of my old soldiers of Molwitz. Tell him chair, and says that when Frederick, during in your letter that I have appointed him his last illness, used to sit on his terrace at doorkeeper at Potsdam. I never forget old Sans Souci, in order to enjoy the sun, a soldiers." The king continued in this way chair was always placed by his side, which and stopped further on in front of an officer; was occupied by one of his dogs. He fed them he spoke to him of a lawsuit his family had himself, took the greatest possible care of just won, of the death of a relative, who had them when they were sick, and when they left a rich inheritance, etc.--ELZEAR BLAZE, died buried them in the gardens of Sans “Recollections." (Napoleon 1. resorted to Souci. The traveler may still see their tombs similar tactics.) (flat stones with the names of the dogs In a Roman Catholic town in Silesia sev- interred beneath engraved on them) at each eral of the silver offerings dedicated to the end of the terrace of Sans Souci, in front Virgin Mary were discovered to be missing. of the palace. The king was accustomed to A soldier was suspected and, the things be- pass his leisure moments in playing with ing found in his possession, he was con- them; and the room where he sat was strewn demned to death as a sacrilegious robber. with leather balls, with which they amused But he resolutely denied the commission of themselves. As they were all much indulged, any theft, asserting that the Virgin, out of though there was always one special favorite, compassion for his poverty, had presented they used to tear the damask covers of the him with the offerings. The sentence, how- chairs in the king's apartment and gnaw ever, as usual, was laid before the king for and otherwise in jure the furniture. This he his confirmation; but, upon reading the case permitted without rebuke, and used only to and the defense of the soldier, he ordered say, "My dogs destroy my chairs, but how the opinion of several Catholic clergymen to can I help it? And if I were to have them be taken, whether, according to their religion, mended to-day, they would be torn to-mor- the miracle was impossible. They replied row; so I suppose I must bear with the in- that the case was extraordinary, but not im- convenience. After all, a Marquise de Pom- possible. The king then said that the soldier padour would cost me a great deal more, and could not be put to death, because the divines would be neither as attached nor as faithful.” of his own religion allowed that it was pos- The most celebrated of the dogs of Frederick sible that the offerings might have been were Biche and Alcmena. Biche made the given him by the Virgin Mary, as he had campaign of 1745 with him; and was with stated. “But," added Frederick, “I strictly him one day, when, having advanced to re- charge him, on pain of death, never hereafter connoiter the position of the enemy's troops, to receive any present from the Virgin Mary he was pursued by a party of Austrian hus- or from any saint whatever.”—JOSEPH sars. He hid himself under a bridge, with TOWERS, "Memoirs of Frederick the Third.” Biche wrapped in the breast of his coat. The dog, though generally of a noisy and barking Eccentricities disposition, seemed aware of her master's dan- The letters of Suhm exhibit the first ex. ger, and remained quiet and hardly breathing ample of a singularity in which Frederick till the Austrians had passed over the bridge now began to indulge, namely, the practise of and were at a distance. At the battle of signing his name, "Federic," to all letters Soor, Biche was taken with the king's bag- written in the French language, which he con- gage, but was restored to her master. Gen- tinued to the end of his life. It is not im eral Rothemburg, who brought her upon her possible that the whim of dropping the first return into the king's room, found the mon- r may have been suggested by his Italian arch so entirely occupied in writing that he studies at the time, or by his correspondence did not look up when his favorite entered. with Algorotti, the name being in that | The dog immediately jumped upon the table Froderick I. 214 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and put her two front paws upon the king's look another way. As soon as he had got neck, who was moved to tears at this proof his foot into the stirrup, a powerful hussar of her affection. Alcmena was a favorite , in a twinkling hoisted his majesty into the greyhound belonging to the king of Prussia, saddle; once there, he galloped off immediate- to which he was so much attached that | ly.-MAJOR SEMPLE LISLE. at her death for a day or two he abandoned himself to his grief; and it was long before Touching a Sympathatic Chord he would allow the corpse of the dog, al While passing through Magdeburg he though it had become putrid, to be taken was offered the present of money which it was from his apartment and buried.-LORD DOVER, customary to give to the heir apparent, but “Life of Frederick II.," citing as authority he declined; his father compelled him to ac- Thiebault and others. cept it, but he declared that he would keep The king [Frederick William II.) has it until he could control his own outlays and confirmed all with a very good grace. The then divide it among the inhabitants of Mag- only article [in the will of Frederick the deburg who were oppressed with heavy taxes. Great] that he will not agree to was a While he was passing through Strassburg he strange whim of the late king, relative to the was presented with two hundred ducats; he interment of his body; he wished to be buried at once directed it to be divided among the beside his dogs. Such is the last mark of poor and cautioned his tutors not to let the contempt he thought proper to cast upon man. king know of what had happened.-LAVISSE. kind.-MIRABEAU, “A Secret Mission." The' king of Prussia does very noble The king was a great taker of snuff. I actions without notifying his people. He has could not get even a sight of his snuff-boxes, just sent fifty thousand francs in a very of which he has a most magnificent collection. pretty little casket to an old lady of the That he carries is of enormous size and he court, whom his father had condemned to takes it not by pinches, but by handfuls. It punishment entirely in the Turkish style. is difficult to approach him without sneezing. This ancient despotic wrong of the late king They pretend that the perquisite that comes was spoken of again some time ago; he was to the valets de chambre from the snuff they unwilling either to show disrespect to the get by drying his handkerchiefs is quite con- memory of his father or to allow the injustice siderable.-LORD MALMESBURY, “Diaries and to remain. He chose an estate of the lady Correspondence.” as the scene of a sham fight of ten thousand troops-a kind of spectacle worthy of the His snuff-box, the only gaudy thing about conqueror of Austria. He pretended that dur- him, was of gold, of an enormous size, and ing the exercises a hedge had been cut down to this he was most perpetually resorting, on the land of the lady in question. Not a not for pinches, but, as I had almost said, twig of it had been laid low; but he persisted for handfuls.-MAJOR SEMPLE LISLE, “Auto in saying that damage had been done and biography." sent the fifty thousand francs to repair it. Frederick the Great behaved more pret VOLTAIRE, letter to d'Argental, September 1, tily [than Louis XVIII.] when one of his 1750. pages took the same liberty (taking a pinch 1 ! During his illness he was so much re- of snuff out of the royal snuff-box], and for duced that a lusty strong hugsar was com- the lad it was almost an impertinence. He pelled to lift him from his bed to his chair had seen the page through a window in the and back again. One day, when this faith- act of taking a pinch. “Do you like that ful domestic was lifting his master from snuff-box ?” he called out. The page, red his bed, the iron heel of his boot slipped on dening to his ear tips, stammered out that the wax-rubbed boards, so that he found that he thought it pretty. "Well, then, take it, he must unavoidably fall; he had, however, my boy," said the king; "it is not large the presence of mind to toss his majesty on enough for both of us.”—Cornhill Magazine, the bed, while he himself measured his length March, 1877. on the floor. Frightened to death, the hussar He wished, as far as possible, to conceal did not venture to raise his head, and the every appearance of decay and would have felt | king, who was hardly able to speak from himself hurt had any one seen him mount his debility, was rendered perfectly speechless horse. Unable to vault into the saddle, as with laughter at this droll accident. As soon he used to do, he always got between the as he recovered his speech, he encouraged the horse and a wall. This was a signal for all, honest soldier to rise and conceived such a except those employed in mounting him, to liking to him for his sudden resource of 215 Prederick II. OF THE GREAT thought, that he never would part with him our affairs do not go on any better, why, from about his person.---MAJOR SEMPLE we will desert together.” “Agreed, sire, I LISLE. consent to that,” replied the soldier; who re- He was once [in his youth] hunting in tired without any more desire or thought of quitting the Prussian service.—LORD DOVER, the wild forest country of the Fichtelge- birge, when he saw an old peasant of eighty citing Thiebault. standing weeping at the door of his hut. D'Argens, a little out of health and The kind-hearted prince asked him what ailed shivering with the cold in Berlin, asked leave him and the old man replied that his father of the king to take a ride to Gascony, his had shaken and whipped him. The astonished native province. He was absent so long prince was then confronted by his father, a that Frederick concluded that the air of the still more venerable man aged one hundred South of France was likely to detain his and four. Needless to say, he effected a friend and, as he wanted his society and reconciliation and had the portrait of the services, he contrived a trick to bring him centenarian painted and it still hangs in back. He fabricated a mandement in the the Hermitage.--WILHELMINA, Margravine of name of the Archbishop of Aix, command- Beyruth, "Memoirs." ing all the faithful to seize the Marquis Frederick the Great's coachman upset d'Argens, author of "Ocellus," impious in the highest degree. This mandement, composed the carriage containing his master. Fred- in a style of ecclesiastical eloquence, that erick began to swear like a trooper, but the was never excelled by pope, Jesuit, inquisitor coachman coolly asked, “And you, did you or Sorbonnite, he sent in print by a courier never lose a battle ?” to which the king to d'Argens, who, frightened out of his wits, was forced to reply with a good-natured filed by cross-roads out of France and back laugh.--T. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Royalty in to Berlin, to the greater joy of the philosoph- All Ages." ical court and for the laugh of Europe, which In Jovial Mood they had raised at the expense of the learned One day, as he was riding along the marquis.-JOHN ADAMS, letter to Thomas Jaegerstrasse at Berlin, he observed a crowd Jefferson, May 6, 1816. pressing forward and staring at a paper When the French minister Valory took stuck high upon the wall. As he drew near, leave of Frederick the Great, he asked him he saw that it was a satirical representation by what the king, his master, could do of himself, as engaged in the coffee monopoly, Prussian majesty a service. “By a second with one of his hands turning a coffee-mill revocation of the Edict of Nantes," said Fred- and with the other greedily picking up a erick.-Literary Gazette, August, 1818. single bean which had fallen to the ground. Frederick found fault with the facade of Frederick turned coolly around to the Hei- a church at Potsdam and he caused it to be duck who attended him and said, "Take altered, by which process, however, some win- down that paper and hang it lower, so that the people need not strain their necks look- dows were shut up. The clergyman and con- ing at it.” And this the Heiduck was pro- gregation made remonstrances, declaring they could not see. But they were silenced by ceeding to do when the people, struck by their king's magnanimity, broke into loud the text which Frederick alleged, “Blessed be they that have not seen and yet have huzzas and tore the injurious portrait into a thousand pieces.—Quarterly Review, Decem- believed.”—Quarterly Review, January, 1873. ber, 1847. With strangers, or with those whom he wished to please, Frederick knew how to Sometimes he mingled with his familiar. ity with his soldiers a degree of good- pay a compliment with inimitable taste and humored pleasantry, which was peculiarly at- skill. How graceful, for example, his ex- taching. During the Seven Years' War, im- clamation, to General Laudohn, the most able of all his adversaries, during the inter- mediately previous to the battle of Lissa, a grenadier, a Frenchman, was brought before views with the emperor's court in 1770, when he saw the general seated on the other side him, who had been taken in the act of of the table, “Pray, sir, take a place at deserting. “Grenadier,” said the king to him, my side; I do not like to have you opposite." "why did you wish to quit us?” “Because, sire, our affairs go on so ill.” 1 -Quarterly Review, December, 1847. “Well," re. plied Frederick, “I allow that they do not These occurrences made him [Voltaire] go on very well; but, my friend, just let determine upon going to Prussia. Only one us fight one more battle; and if after that I difficulty remained, which was removed by an Prederick II. 216 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES incident so curious that it may amuse you Ah, let him never think of anything but for a moment. The difficulty lay in the reigning.” We had the greatest difficulty, traveling expenses, about which Frederick | Thiriot and I, to keep from bursting into required a little solicitation. He was per laughter when we saw Voltaire dancing about fectly willing to pay Voltaire's expenses and in his shirt and furiously apostrophizing the agreed to give him a thousand louis for that king of Prussia. “I will go," said he; "yes, purpose. But Madame Denis wished to ac I will go and teach him to know men,” and company her uncle; Voltaire asked a thou- that instant his journey was fixed. My sus. sand more for her. To this the king of picion is that the king of Prussia inten- Prussia would on no account listen. “I shall tionally applied this spur to him, otherwise be very glad,” said he, “that Madame Denis I doubt much if he would have gone, so irri- accompany you, but I do not ask it.” “See tated was he at the refusal of the thousand now," said Voltaire to me, “this niggardly | louis, not at all out of avarice, but from behavior on the part of the king. He has mortification at not having attained his end. tons of gold, and yet he will not give a -JEAN FRANÇOIS MARMONTEL, “Memoirs." thousand poor louis to have the pleasure of During the time Voltaire was resident seeing Madame Denis at Berlin. He shall with the king of Prussia at Potsdam, an give them; otherwise I myself will not go." Englishman happened to be there, who told This dispute was terminated by a ludicrous incident. One morning, as I went to call the king that he could retain, word for upon him, I met his friend Thiriot in the word, any discourse of considerable length, after having once heard or read it. Frederick 'garden of the Palais Royal, and, as he was in search of literary news, I asked him if there resolved to put him to the proof and the was any. “Yes, indeed there is, and very Englishman made good his assertion. Vol. taire happened at this moment to be an. curious too," said he. “You are on your way to M. Voltaire's; there you will hear it; for nounced. He came to read to the king a I mean to go there also, as soon as I have copy of verses he had just written. Fred- taken coffee.” I found Voltaire writing in erick, to amuse himself, concealed the English: bed. He asked me, "What news?” “I know man in an adjoining closet and ordered him to retain word for word what Voltaire should none," said I, “but Thiriot, whom I met at read to him. The poet was introduced and the Palais Royal, says he has something read his verses. The king listened to them very interesting to tell you. He will be here presently.” “Well, Thiriot,” said he, "you with apparent coolness and said, “Indeed, my dear Voltaire, I cannot conceive what you have curious news then to tell us?” “Oh, are about, since you sometimes take the very curious, and with which you will be vastly delighted,” replied Thiriot, with his verses of others and pass them off for your sardonic laugh and the nasal twang of a own.” Voltaire protested that the verses Capuchin. “Well, let us hear what you have were his own and that he had only that moment finished them. to say.” “I have to say that Arnauld Ba- “Well," said the king, "however that may be, I have just culard has arrived at Potsdam and that the king of Prussia has received him with open seen an Englishman who has repeated them to me as his own writing.” Frederick or- arms.” “With open arms!” “That Arnaud dered the Englishman to be called in and has presented him with a poem.” “Stupid, bombastical stuff ?" "Not at all; vastly desired him to recite the verses he had shown him that morning. The Englishman pretty; so much so that the king of Prussia immediately repeated the lines of the poet, has written another in answer.” “The king without the variation of a word. Voltaire of Prussia, a poem to Arnaud! Come, come, flew into a passion and declared that the gen- Thiriot, they have been making jest of you." "That may be, only I have the two poems in tleman must deal with the devil. The king my pocket.” “Quick! Let's see. Let me for some time amused himself with the poet's anger, but at last let him into the secret.- read these two masterpieces. How insipid! How flat! How mean!” said he, reading Ar- PERCY, “Anecdotes." naud's poem. Then, taking up the king's, The manner in which Poellnitz was in. he read for a moment in silence, with a look | duced to change his religion for the last of pity. But when he came to these lines, time is sufficiently curious and shows the “Voltaire begins to set; but you are in little consideration with which the king your dawn," he sprang up and leaped out treated him. One day the baron was com- of bed, bounding with rage. “Voltaire be- plaining to Frederick of his poverty, a sub- ginning to set and Baculard in his dawn! | ject upon which he was very eloquent, when And a king can write such enormous folly. | the latter, after listening with apparent in- 217 Frederick II. OF THE GREAT terest, said to him with an air of kindness: the maneuver of troops at a review. The “I should very much like to be of use to king, as was his wont when annoyed, fell you; but what can I do? You know that I into a violent rage and pursued the terrified can only just manage by means of economy ensign stick in hand. The young soldier ran to find funds for what I am obliged to do, in for very life and jumped a ditch, leaving consequence of the poverty of my territories. the king on the other side shaking his stick If you were still a Catholic I could give you at him in a fury. Shortly after the escape a canonry; every now and then I have a good of the ensign the colonel of the regiment one fall vacant. At this moment, indeed, came up to the king and said, “Your majesty, there is one unfilled, and I do not know whom the young man committed a blunder, doubt- to give it to; you can conceive I would much less. I have just received his resignation rather you should have it than many others. from your majesty's service,” placing the But you are now of the reformed religion; document in the king's hands. “I am sorry that is to say, of the one which is unhap for it, for he was a good officer; but he can pily the poorest of all, and which therefore take no other step under the circumstances." offers me no means of being of use to you— The king answered, "Send him to me.” The a circumstance which, I assure you, I very ensign was sent for and came trembling, lest much regret.” The baron was deceived by this time the stripes should in reality fall the air of frankness with which the king upon his shoulders, or, still worse, he might uttered these words; and, trusting implicitly be sent to prison. Without any preface the to what he had heard, he proceeded to act king replied: "Here is your captaincy, sir, accordingly. That very evening he made his which I endeavored to give you this morning, abjuration in form and the next morning but you ran away so swiftly that my old legs came to Frederick to announce that he had could not catch you up."—W. B. RICHILOND, followed his advice and that he now hoped The North American Review, September, 1914, to receive the benefice which his majesty had quoting Prince Bismarck. led him to expect. “I am exceedingly sorry," The magistrate in an inconsiderable vil- replied the king with much gravity, "but I lage in the electorate of Brandenburg had have this very morning given away the committed a burgher to prison, who was canonry I spoke about. This is a sad disap- charged with having blasphemed God, the pointment to me, but could I imagine that you were so ready again to change your king and the magistrate. The burgomaster reported the same to the king in order to religion? What can I now do? Ah, I re- know what punishment such a criminal de- member that I still have a situation of rabbi served. In the margin of the prisoner's case, to appoint. Become a Jew and I promise it which was transmitted to him, Frederick to you.”—LORD DOVER, citing Thiebault. wrote with his own hand the following sen- Duport, the first violoncello player of tence: “That the prisoner has blasphemed Europe, being sent for to Berlin by Fred God is a sure proof that he does not know erick, counted on remaining there five or Him; that he has blasphemed me I willingly six months only. The king, hearing that he forgive; but as he has blasphemed the magis- was preparing to depart, charged several of trate of the town he shall be punished in an his musicians to give him an entertainment exemplary manner: and therefore I order him and to make him drunk. When in this con to be committed prisoner to the fortress of dition he was made to sign in his own hand | Spandau for half an hour.”—TOWERS, quot- an engagement, by which he entered one of ing Latrobe. the king's regiments in the capacity of a The princess Elizabeth Christina Ulrica drummer; so that he could not leave Prussia of Brunswick, who was married in 1765 to without exposing himself to be punished the Prince Royal of Prussia, was afterwards with death as a deserter. It was thus that divorced from him and kept in a kind of this great artist was fixed at Brandenburg. confinement at Stettin. At the time when He was at first excessively enraged, but a that princess was in that situation, she large pension and an excellent marriage soon gave orders to have some rich stuffs sent consoled him. He was an inhabitant of from Lyons and directed to her at Stettin. Sans Souci together with his family when As foreign stuff's pay a very large duty in I went to visit that royal residence.- the Prussian dominions, the collector of MADAME DE GENLIS, "Memoirs." customs thought proper to detain them, be- My grandfather served for three years cause the princess had given no directions under Frederick the Great and told me this for the payment of the duty. The princess anecdote: An ensign made a blunder during was highly incensed at this but sent word Prederick II. Frederick William I. 218 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to the collector that she would satisfy his | When he was quite a child, one day he was demands and desired him to come himself | powdered and curled for some gala occasion; with the stuffs for that purpose. Her orders he crawled up the chimney, from where he were obeyed but the collector was no sooner | was drawn forth, covered with soot. After a introduced into her presence than she took | brocade nightgown had been tried on him the stuffs from him with great indignation he threw it into the fire. He became furious and at the same time gave him two or three at the sight of big wigs. One day some of cuffs in the face. The collector, enraged at the courtiers in the royal antechamber were this treatment, addressed a long and very warming themselves, their heads being formal memorial to the king, setting forth thrown back so as not to burn their wigs, how much he had been dishonored in the which had cost them two hundred dollarg performance of his duty. To this complaint each, when he compelled them to throw them Frederick in his own hand returned the fol all into the fire. On another occasion a lowing answer: “The loss of the duty must servant of the house was picked up at the be placed to my account; the stuffs must bottom of the staircase whither he had been remain with the princess, the cuffs with him kicked by the prince. that received them. As to the supposed dis- He had a horror of French fashions and honor, I cancel it at the request of the com- issued an edict compelling the condemned, plainant, but it is of itself null, for the "the greatest criminals of them all," to wear white hand of a fair lady cannot possibly gallooned hats and bags for the hair, in dishonor the face of a custom-house officer.” order that the people of Berlin might. ac- -TOWERS. quire a distaste for fashions set by the He had in his service several Kammer French minister. husaren, as the Germans called them, or, as One day, after chatting with a pretty the French might have said, sous-valets de woman, General Grumkow offered to for- chambre. One of these men, then with his ward the acquaintance; the king rejected the majesty at Sans Souci, accidentally let fall offer in strong language. He declared that a letter which he had written to his sweet- he did not intend to be untrue to Sophia heart at Berlin and that letter was picked Dorothea, whom he called his Fieckchen, or up by the king. It read as follows: "My Fifi. On another occasion he met one of the dear Charlotte-I fear that I shall not find ladies-in-waiting of the queen on the stair- it possible to call on you to-day, nor yet for case; he caught her around the waist and some days to come, for I must stay at home began joking with her. She slapped his face. in close attendance on the growling old bear "Oh, the spiteful little devil,” he cried, and (Brummbaer).” Frederick was by no means that ended the incident. Perhaps these two pleased at finding himself so designated. anecdotes are not authentic, but they are all But, sending for the Kammerhusar, he calm- that are left us to tell of the gallantry of ly asked him whether he knew how to write. this monarch, and that in such a century. "A little,” said the man. “Then sit down He knew George II. when that monarch at that table,” said Frederick, "and write what I shall dictate.” His majesty then be- was only the grandson of the Elector of Han- gan dictating, word for word, the intercepted over; he played with him and even gave him letter. The Kammerhusar, perceiving what a beating; he was disgusted at the fact that had happened, fell on his knees and implored such a character should become so great a forgiveness. "Sit down again," said the king, monarch and lord it over him. He referred “and go on writing as I bid you.” And the to him as “my dear brother, the comedian," king then further dictated as follows: "My or, “my dear brother, the red cabbage.” The dear Charlotte-It is now most probable that language he used toward him would not bear several weeks will elapse before I have the repetition. He never called Augustus of happiness of seeing you, since the growling Poland anything but "the clothes peg." He old bear has just signed a warrant sending was childish in venting his ill humor on these princes. To Spandau me as a prisoner to Spandau.” Because it was Saxony ware he the valet was sent accordingly. But he was smashed a service of china; it had come from not left there more than a few days.-Quar- the king of Poland. While sick and complain- ing of the treatment he had received from terly Review, January, 1873. England, he remembered that the king of FREDERICK WILLIAM I., 1688-1740. England had once given him a horse and King of Prussia. that the animal was still in the royal stables; The new king showed from childhood a | he insisted that the animal should be turned great dislike for luxury and ceremonies. | out. When he was advised to give it to the 213 Frederick IL Prederick William I. OF THE GREAT Prince of Anhalt, "the enemy of everything form."--T. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Royalty in English," he consented, for he thought that All Ages." thus his vengeance would be complete. Be- Towards the end of this year arrived the cause wood was destined for England he re- Czar Peter the Great and his wife Catherine fused passports for it. at Berlin; who seem to have been most un- He was absolutely indifferent to the in- | welcome guests to the court, on account of fidelity of his political agents. He made the their uncouth and barbarous manners, and to following note on the report of one minister: | the king on account of the additional ex- “You are too fond of guineas," and on pense which was entailed upon him by their another, "You are too fond of louis," but he visit. Upon this occasion he wrote the fol- dismissed neither. In fact, he seemed to take | lowing characteristic epistle to the general pleasure in the fact that these “Mazarins," | directory: “I shall allot six thousand dollars as he called them, should receive from foreign to be paid by the finance directory, to defray sovereigns what la Chetardie referred to as the charge of the czar's journey from Memel “tokens of sentiment and essential proofs of to Wesel. While he is at Berlin the expense gratitude.” “I know," he said, “that France of his entertainment will be a separate ac- bribes my people and I know all the details. count. I will not give a single farthing Very well. If the people of France are so I more, but to the world you must give out foolish as to pension my subjects, the latter that it has cost me thirty or forty thousand ought to accept. The money will come to dollars."-LORD DOVER, “Life of Frederick this country and the recipients and their II.," quoting F. FOERSTER, "The Youth of children will spend it here, but if they think | Frederick the Great.” they can fool me they are very much mis- Why should not Europe be under the taken.” impression that he loved his soldiers for He actually took pride in having insert show? In 1734, when he sent troops to the ed in the treaty he made with the emperor imperial army on the Rhine, he stipulated “more than sixty restrictions and equivocal that they should not march more than two phrases which might render it void.” miles per day, or three at the utmost, and To compel his guests to eat fish that had that every fourth day they were to rest; they were never to break up or be confined been scaled but not killed; to threaten to lock up the whole faculty of physicians un- to fortresses, and after each campaign they less within a given time they relieved him of were to go into comfortable winter quarters a pimple he had formed on his tongue; to for six months.--LAVISSE. thrash a physician for not curing one of his One of his chief cares was the establish- little girls of the smallpox as quickly as he ment of a race of giants in his dominions, thought the cure should have been effected; from among whom his grenadiers might al- to parade through the city with suite, guard ways be replenished. In furtherance of this orches at ten o'clock at night, shouting object he was accustomed, whenever he saw and yelling, and to fire at a miller who a woman of extraordinary stature, to marry passed him by; these are indications of an | her forthwith to one of his guards, without unsound mind.--ERNEST LAVISSE, "The in the slightest degree consulting her inclina- Youth of Frederick the Great." tions on the subject. On one occasion, on going from Potsdam to Berlin, he met a Frederick William I. listened to the suc- young, handsome and well-made girl, of an cessive pleadings of two barristers opposed to almost gigantic size; he was struck with one another, remarking after each speech, her and, having stopped and spoken to her, “This fellow is in the right," and then fell he learned from her that she was a Saxon into such furious passion at the effect of and not married-that she had come on busi- eloquence that both orators got into serious ness to the market at Berlin, and was now trouble (the monarchical régime being what returning to her village in Saxony. “In that it then was) through the very excellence of case,” said Frederick William to her, “you their persuasive powers.--PRINCE BISMARCK, pass before the gates of Potsdam and, if I Speech in the Reichstag, April 29, 1881, quot- give you a note to the commandant, you can ed by MORITZ BUSCH, “Our Chancellor." deliver it without going out of your way. Even while distracted with the gout, Take charge, therefore, of the note which I his eccentricity showed itself; for, as a hymn am about to write and promise me to deliver was being sung to him, at the passage, “Naked it yourself to the commandant, and you shall shall I go hence,” he interrupted the singers have a dollar for your pains.” The girl, and said, "No, I shall be buried in my uni: | who knew the king's character well, promised and Frederick William I. Frederick Wwiam III. 220 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES all that he wished. The note was written, them all over immediately.” ... The colonel sealed and delivered to her with the dollar; took the first opportunity of mentioning it but the Saxon, aware of the fate that await to the king. The colonel was instantly or- ed her at Potsdam, did not enter the town. dered to question Morgan. But he at once She found near the gate a very little, old had lost all memory on the subject. "He had woman, to whom she made over the note and no brothers; he had made the regiment his the dollar, recommending her to execute the father and mother and relations and there commission without delay and acquainting he hoped to live and die." But he was her at the same time that it came from the urged still more strongly and at length con- king and regarded some urgent and pressing fessed that he had brothers, even above the business. After this our gigantic young regimental standard, but that nothing on heroine continued her journey with as much earth could "stir them from their spades." rapidity as possible. The old woman, on After some time the king inquired for the the other hand, hastened to the commandant, five recruits and was indignant at the im- who opened the note, and found in it a posi possibility of enlisting them. “Send the fel- tive order to marry the bearer to a certain low himself," he exclaimed, "and let him grenadier, whose name was mentioned. The bring them back.” The order was given but old woman was much surprised at this re Morgan was broken-hearted “at the idea of sult; she, however, submitted herself with so long an absence from the regiment." He out murmuring to the orders of his majesty; applied to the colonel to have the order re- but it was necessary to employ all the power voked or at least given to someone else. of authority, mingled with alternate menaces But this was out of the question, for Fred- and promises, to overcome the extreme re erick's word was always irrevocable, and pugnance, and even despair, of the soldier. Morgan with a disconsolate face prepared to It was not until the next day that Frederick set out upon his mission. But a difficulty William discovered that he had been im struck him: "How was he to make his broth- posed upon, and that the soldier was incon ers come unless he showed them the recruiting solable at his misfortune. No other resource money ?” This objection was at last obviated remained to the king but to order the im by the advance of a sum equal to about three mediate divorce of the new-married couple. hundred pounds sterling as a first instal- LORD DOVER, citing Thiebault. ment for the purchase of his family. ... Morgan, the gay and handsome son of a Morgan flew to his home in County Carlow, delighted the firesides for many miles around poor Irish farmer, tired of home, went to take the chances of the world and seek his fortune. with his having outwitted a king and a By what means he traversed England, or whole battalion of grenadiers. ... Once a made his way to France, is not told. But year, on the anniversary of the day on which he left Potsdam and his giants behind, he he at length crossed France also and, prob- ably without much knowledge or care whether climbed a hill within a short distance of his home, turned himself in the direction of he were moving to the North or to the South Prussia and with the most contemptuous Pole, found himself in Prussian territory. gesture he could contrive bade good-by to his This was in the day of the first Frederick, majesty. The story was long a source of famous for his tall regiment of guards. ... great amusement and its hero bore through Morgan was an Irish giant and was instantly seized by the Prussian recruiting sergeants, life the name earned by the exploit, Morgan who forced him to volunteer into the tall | Prussia.-GEORGE CROLY, “Life of George battalion. ... One evening a Turkish re- cruit was brought in, for Frederick looked “Once a rural pastor died of the shock to nothing but the thews and sinews of a occasioned by seeing his taller sacramental man and the Turk was full seven feet high. communicants carried off en masse by a “How much did his majesty give for catch- recruiting party who thought that the Sun- ing that heathen ?” said Morgan to his cor- day congregation would spare them all fur- poral. "Four hundred dollars," was the ther trouble in hunting through the cot- answer. He burst out into an exclamation tages." - DR. VEHSE, "Memoirs of the Court, of astonishment at this waste of royal treas Aristocracy and Diplomacy of Austria.” ure upon a Turk. “Why, they cannot be got | In the town of Julich there lived and for less,” replied the corporal. “What a pity worked a tall young carpenter. One day a my five brothers cannot hear of it!” said well-dressed, positive-looking gentleman Morgan; “I am a dwarf to any one of them (Baron von Homspech, the records name him) and the sound of half the money would bring enters the shop; wants a "stout chest, with IV.” 221 Frederick William I. OF THE GREAT Frederick William III. locks on it, for household purposes; must be the near approach to Ebling crowded with of such and such dimensions, six feet in people, who intended to take the horses from length especially, and that is an indispens his carriage and draw him with huzzas into able point-in fact, it will be longer than the town. His adjutant, General von Witzle- yourself, I think, Herr Zimmerman: What is ben, who had preceded him, knowing that the cost? When can it be ready?” Cost, such servile demonstrations of homage would time and the rest are settled. “A right, stout | displease the king, exerted himself to prevent chest, then; and see that you don't forget the well-meaning people from such like dis- the size; if too short it will be no use to play of loyalty, but in vain; they maintained me, mind." "Ja wohl, gewiss," and the posi- it to be proper and suited to their feelings. tive-looking, well-clad gentleman goes his When the king arrived and was received with way. At the appointed day he reappears; the loud shouts, he thanked them most cordially. chest is ready; we hope an unexceptionable But when they began to unhook his horses, article. "Too short, as I dreaded,” says the and he saw the folks ready to draw his car- positive gentleman. “Nay, your honor." says riage, the king forbade them in these words: the carpenter, “I am certain it is six feet “It is beneath the dignity of man to do serv- six,” and takes out his foot rule. “Psha.v! | ices which belong to the beast; my love for It was to be longer than yourself.” “Well, I my subjects is too great to accept of such de- it is." "No; it isn't.” The carpenter, to end | basement.” But these mild words did but the matter, gets into his chest and will con animate and strengthen the masses in their vince any and all mortals. No sooner is he purpose. The king now saw disobedience in in, rightly flat, than the positive gentleman, their perseverance and became vehement- a Prussian recruiting officer in disguise, commanding that those who resisted orders slams down the lid upon him, locks it, whis should be taken forthwith into custody. Sev- tles in three stout fellows, who pick up the eral were arrested and the West Prussian au- chest, gravely walk through the streets with thorities put the matter in train before the it, open it in a safe place and find-horrible criminal court; but it was quashed by the to relate the poor carpenter dead; choked king's word of mouth, who took that oppor- by want of air in this frightful middle pas tunity to make known that he never would sage of his. Name of the town is given, accept of demonstrations of attachment in Julich as above; date not. And if the thing which respect for the dignity of man was had only been a popular myth, is it not a wounded.-BISHOP F. R. EYLERT, “Charac- significant one? But it is too true; the tall teristic Traits of the Domestic Life of Fred- carpenter lay dead and Homspesch got "im erick William III.” prisonment for life” by the business.- The king was resolute in his rejection of THOMAS CARLYLE, "Frederick the Great," cit- external forms which restrained his natural ing Poellnitz and Foerster. inclinations. One day there was a question When the old king was seized with his as to the ceremonial required for the recep- mortal illness, he asked whether "it was nec tion of congratulations from a foreign court, essary to forgive all his enemies.” On re which was to take place with all due forms ceiving the proper answer, he said to the of etiquette in Berlin the following day. The queen, “Dorothy, write to your brother that Countess von Vosz, who knew the minutest I forgive him all the evil he has done me; details in all such cases, remarked that on but wait till I am dead first.”—Blackwood's such a grand occasion the state carriages Edinburgh Magazine, October, 1844, citing should be used and that the king and queen First Earl of Malmesbury, “Diaries and Cor must have the royal state carriage, with respondence." eight horses richly caparisoned, two state FREDERICK WILLIAM II., coachmen and three state footmen in their 1744-1797. best livery. “Well,” said the king, "you may King of Prussia. order it as you will.” The next morning, It is said he rode through the ranks, urg- when the brilliant equipage came up, the king ing a forward charge, calling to the soldiers, put the countess into the carriage, shut the "Look at me; which of you offers so large a target for a bullet ?"--GILBERT STANHOPE, door very suddenly and cried out to the coach- man, “Go on.” He then jumped into his own “A Mystic on the Prussian Throne.” open ordinary carriage, with two horses only, FREDERICK WILLIAM III., 1770-1840. which he was in the habit of driving him- King of Prussia. self, and thus drove the queen immediately On the occasion of the king's return from behind the countess in the state carriage, St. Petersburg in 1818, he found the road in / amidst the laughter and delight of the by- Frederick William M. French Revolution 222 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES standers.--MRS. C. RICHARDSON, "Memoirs of room hastily, placing the cup in the hands of the Private Life and Opinions of Louisa, his constant nurse and affectionate consort, Queen of Prussia." the Princess of Liegnitz, who was sitting Once when the king was entering a con- close to the bed. “The kindly meaning man," siderable town the superintendent of the place muttered the king, "did you remark his tears, my dear Augusta? Drink it, instead of me, thought it proper to greet him with a eulo- gistic address. Frederick interrupted him, that on his return, seeing the cup empty, he turning indignantly to the adjutant, Colonel may feel consoled.”—BISHOP EYLERT. Witzleben, “This is not to be endured—the FREDERICK WILLIAM IV., 1795-1861. man speaks plain untruths.” Then, taking King of Prussia. out the paper on which stood the names of He [Moltke] particularly liked to relate those intended to the afternoon entertain- anecdotes about the kings of Prussia. ... ment, with his own hand he scored out the Frederick William IV. on one occasion felt name of the superintendent. obliged to see a play which bored him ex- When a court officer, on the king's return tremely and when he was leaving the theater to Berlin in 1809, after the unfortunate war he saw that the attendant had fallen asleep. of 1806, asked whether he should order a ! 'Aha,” whispered the king to his adjutant, quantity of champagne, the answer was, "Not | "he has listened to it.” yet, not before all my subjects, even the poor- The same king was standing at the door est, can afford to drink beer again.”-BISHOP of a supper room with Moltke during a pause EYLEBT. at a court concert and a young beauty wished In spite of his openly pronounced pre to go in, but did not venture to pass the dilection for Mademoiselle Lemière, and in king. “Passez beauté,” said the king with a spite of her great influence with him, his gallant wave of his hand, when an older lady majesty never had any amour with the bold took the opportunity to skip towards the dame, nor with any other artiste-nay, he buffet. The king, with a wink at Moltke, steered absolutely shy of any impure love af whispered, “Beauté passée.”-F. A. DRESSLER, fair whatever. So at least his private cham- "Moltke in His Home.” berlain, Timm, maintained, adding, “His maj- esty is much too bashful for such a thing and In Berlin, too, when I had become minig. the image of his unfortunate Louise pre- ter, I did not refuse to dance when called up vents him.” After the king's death Louise's by ladies of my acquaintance or commanded by princesses, but I always had to hear sar- likeness was found in a secret case of the Order of the Black Eagle which he wore on castic remarks from the king for doing so. his breast. The queen's rooms were kept ex- He would say to me, for instance, “I am re- actly in the state in which they were during proached for having selected a frivolous min- ister. You should not confirm that impres- her lifetime. In her bedroom the Bible lay sion by dancing.” beside the golden dressing table. . . . In The princesses were for- bidden to choose me for a partner. ... In other respects, too, the king showed a real paternal care for the well being of his stage- his notion a dancing statesman was in place actors, and not merely of the virtuous dan- only in the formal quadrilles of princes; in the rapid waltz one lost all credit, in his eyes, seuses. In these things he altogether de- served the name of Frederick William the for wisdom in council.-PRINCE BISMARCK, “Thoughts and Recollections." Just.-CAROLINE BALER, "Diary.” When Kienal presented him a cup of FRENCH REVOLUTION. bouilli, the dying king motioned it away, say It is worth while observing that at the tak. ing, "I cannot take it”; but the trusty and ing of the Bastille on the 14th of July, 1789, anxious man desisted not, saying, “The medi there were found but six or seven prisoners, cal gentlemen have ordered it, and sinking three of them insane, who were afterwards strength requires support.” The invalid re sent to madhouses; the rest for forgery and joined, “My children, I desire it not; do not scandalous offenses unfit for public trial. trouble me.” The attached servant neverthe There was no state prisoner. On the 27th of less continued to beseech him to take the the same month of July, in 1794, the fifth broth; and with pitiful expressions of sor- year of liberty, the prisons of Paris con- row, such as are often used towards beloved tained 8,913 prisoners; to this number must equals, he said, “Well, then, your majesty, do be added 2,637, who had passed in the preced- drink it, if only to please me.” Tears at the ing years from the prisons to the scaffold. same time gushing from his eyes, he left the Quarterly Review, September, 1853. 223 Revolution OF THE GREAT French Frederick D . William Society in Brussels was far more like a hood there was a furrier, whose sign was a gathering of friends in search of pleasure tiger with the words, “Au Tigre Royal.” than a concourse of exiles and outlaws. The “Unhappy man," exclaimed Maury, "what are most brilliant country fête, the most delight you about? Do you wish to be stoned to ful visit to Spa, wag never accompanied by death? Do you not know that the word so much gaiety and dissipation of every kind. ‘royal' is everywhere effaced and is to be re- It was at supper parties, where merrimenti placed with 'national'q" The poor furrier ran as high as in happier days in Paris, that was simple enough to act upon this advice the Brussels newspaper was generally read and the next day the inscription was changed the sheet that recorded the names, day by to "Au Tigre National.” The whole quarter day, of the victims whom Robespierre had was in a tumult and the furrier laid the sent to the scaffold. Among them were al- | blame on the abbé, who had to hide himself ways to be found the names of relations, for some time.--Quarterly Review, January, friends or intimate acquaintances of some of 1882. the guests present. It is only by comparing Madame de Tesse was still a follower of this astonishing insensibility with the indif. Voltaire-a fact which did not prevent her ference one feels on the field of battle that I making the sign of the cross behind her bed- can understand the possibility of it; the curtains whenever she took medicine. She numbers of the dead and dying accustom the was, as became her, the sworn foe of the mind to the idea of destruction, and the first clergy; but when she found a persecuted curé, feeling of emotion is quickly effaced. The list she loved him with all her heart. This of the guillotined appeared so unfailingly and church hater even had a chaplain. She had regularly, and the sorrows it caused were discovered a poor priest starving in a gar- awaited with so much certainty that the ret; too proud to accept charity, she could heart was inured to them. This, at all | find no other way of administering it than by events, is the only light I can throw on the taking him into her household as her con- scene at Brussels, which was revolting, when- fessor, and attending divine service every ever one allowed oneself to dwell upon it.- day-the sole member of his limited congre- COUNT ROGER DE DAMAS, "Memoirs.” gation-so that he should not smart under News was frequently sent from Paris to the sense of a sinecure. When her niece came the country in the lining of a coat, the crown to her her mind was at ease. She knew he of a hat, or a box of artificial flowers. It was would now have enough occupation. Besides customary to send with these packets a let the chaplain she supported a family of poor ter, saying, “In compliance with your request, curés near Lowenberg, on the produce of her I send you” such and such a thing. My kitchen garden. The ecstatic Pauline no mother was sometimes very reluctant to pull sooner discovered this fact than she made it to pieces the beautiful articles of millinery her duty to water the vegetables, and consci- which came from Paris in this way. I recol entiously inundated the nettles, which she lect she once wore a hat in which a letter was too aristocratic to recognize; but she was was concealed a whole fortnight, without tell amply rewarded by a round of ecclesiastical ing my father where it came from, because visits to her aunt's friends .. But the she knew he would have it pulled to pieces thought of the dead overpowered the thought without mercy. It was, to be sure, a moment of the living and Pauline was crushed by her when no interesting news was likely to be griefs. At this terrible crisis Madame de communicated.-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, "Me Tesse's brain was entirely merged in her moirs." heart; Voltaire was despatched to the four It was he (Abbé Maury] who, pursued by winds and, with infinite trouble, she collected an excited crowd shouting, “À la lanterne! her priests and arranged to hold a mass for À la lanterne !” turned around and asked the dead, in the church of a neighboring town. them, pointing to a lamp over his head, It was attended by the whole family, includ- “Well, if I were à la lanterne, would you ing M. de Mun, and led by the duke, so shak- see any clearer ?” The hooting was con- en by emotion that his daughter thought he verted into applause.-Quarterly Review, was converted.-EDITI SICHEL, "The House- January, 1882. hold of the Lafayettes." On one occasion his fondness for a joke Loizerolles, senior, received the indict led the Abbé (Maury) into a serious scrape. ment. What a surprise! It bore not his After the enforced return of the king, there | name, but that of his son. Without a word was a mania against everything royal; the he put the document into his pocket and word was proscribed. In the abbé's neighbor- | awaited the sitting. Did the judges and French Revolution 224 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES jurymen perceive the error ? Not they. Not something to do to-day and a glass of wine one of them had even read the names of will refresh you; permit me to fill one.” The the thirty unfortunate men whom they were offer was graciously accepted. “Again, I had condemning to death; not one of them had forgot," observed the duke; "there is our mu- made any remark, when, on the name of tual friend, the turnkey.” The turnkey was François Simon Loizerolles, “aged twenty- called in; three glasses were filled; the three two years," being mumbled by the usher, a were drunk off to good health and in a few white-haired old man replied, "It is I.” He | minutes the head of the gay libertine, traitor was sent to the scaffold with the others. Be and philosopher was rolling on the scaffold. fore ascending into the executioner's cart he -GEORGE CROLY, “Life of George IV.” confided in one of the prisoners of the Con- When d’Espremenil was going to the ciergerie, named Pranville. “These fellows scaffold, he was accompanied by le Chapelier, are so stupid," said he; "they go to work so well known as one of the best orators of the quickly that they have not time to look be- Constituent Assembly, and who was to be hind them. They want heads and it does not executed with him. Le Chapelier, as they matter whose. After all, I am doing my son were ascending the steps, observed to his no harm. It is his mother who will benefit. companion, that they were to have a terrible And if, in the midst of these stormy times, problem to solve in their last moments. a tranquil day arises, my son is young and “What is that?” said the other. "To deter- will profit by it." And with these words he mine," was the reply, “to which of us the resolutely went to his death.-G. LENÔTRE, hisses of the populace are meant to be ad. “The Tribunal of the Terror." dressed.”—Edinburgh Review, April, 1809. When she was on the point of swooning, A young musician, waiting at the Con- one of these monstrous men, touched by a ciergerie for the gendarmes to take him to sudden emotion, ran to her and offered her the tribunal which was his death sentence, a cup of water, into which, at the moment remembering that his friend wanted a certain it approached her lips, a drop of blood fell air, went back to his room, copied it and from his polluted hands. Such was the took it to his friend, saying, "My dear, here origin of that hideous fable which presents to is what you wanted; the music is all right; us Mademoiselle de Sombreuil compelled, as I have just tried it on my flute. I am sorry the condition of her father's pardon, to drink not to be able to get you some more; I shall a goblet of human blood.-LOUIS BLANC, not be alive to-morrow.”—CATHERINE BEARNE, "History of the French Revolution.” “Heroines of French Society," citing "Mem. Face to Face With Death oires sur les Prisons.” I really believe it is the easiest death M. Broglie, only two hours before the possible. I cannot help remarking that of all fatal knife fell on him, expecting the cart to those I have seen suffer I have not observed take him to execution every moment, lis- one instance of pusillanimity. Are then the tened while M. Vigée, an author and fellow French indeed heroes? Let no one say, "We prisoner, read to him one of his works, dur. see highwaymen act the same part in Eng- ing which he took out his watch and said, land.” Alas, those were neither highwaymen "My hour approaches; I do not know wheth- nor soldiers. They were composed of priests, er I shall have time enough left me to hear duchesses, maids of honor, philosophers you out. No matter; go on till they send ( surely your readers will allow there were for me.”—JOHN TIMBS, “Century of Anec- many of this cast) and revolutionists. All dote.” suffered with the same resolution, I may al It was he [Champcenetz, editor of "The most say gaiety.—The Gentleman's Magazine, | Acts of the Apostles,” etc.) who jestingly November, 1798. asked Coffinchal, the president of the court, “Pardon, president, is this worked like the On returning to his dungeon [Armand National Guard? Can one get a substitute ?" Louis de Gontaut, Duc de Biron, 1747-1793] he ordered oysters and white wine. While he -GASTON MAUGRAS and COUNT P. DE CROZE- LEMERCIER, "Memoirs of the Marquis of Cus. was indulging in his final meal, the execu- tine.” tioner entered to tell him that “the law could wait no longer.” “I beg a thousand He [Jean Baptiste Cloots, better known pardons, my friend,” said the duke; "but as Anarchasis Cloots) encountered death with do me the honor to allow me to finish my the utmost serenity; and on his way to the oysters." The request was granted. “But I scaffold lectured Hebert on materialism, “to had forgot,” observed Biron, "you will have l prevent him," as he said, "from feeling any 225 Prench Revolution OF THE GREAT religious sentiments in his last moments." and even a little red cap in his buttonhole, He also asked to be executed after his asso went through the following conversation: ciates, "in order to have time to establish “Your ticket of safety?” “Here.” “Your certain principles, while their heads were enrolment in the National Guard ?” “There falling.”—Edinburgh Review, April, 1809. it is.” “Your certificate of civism?” “Here One dark, gloomy day, during the height you are.” “You rascal,” cried his ques- of the Terror, he was sitting in his studio tioner; "you are too correct by half; and I early in the morning, busily making up the arrest you.” It was the moment of the big fire in his stove, for it was bitterly cold. batches and three days later the poor citi- There was a knock at the door, and a woman zen was guillotined.-GENERAL PAUL THIE- wrapped in a large cloak stood on the BAULT, “Memoirs." threshold, saying, “You are the painter Isa Nothing seems to have exasperated the bey?" "Yes. What do you want of me?" "I people more than attempts by the nobles to want you to do my portrait at once.” “Di participate on a footing of equality with able, at once? You are in great haste!” said them in civil duties and rights. M. de Bois he, smiling. “It is not I who am in haste; d'Aisy was nearly hanged for wishing to it is the guillotine,” replied the stranger; vote.-J. C. MORISON, Macmillan's Magazine, “to-day I am on the suspected list; to-morrow | May-July, 1878. I shall no doubt be condemned. I have chil- The postmaster in a town in the Ven- dren. I wish to leave them a remembrance dée, who, as is usual in that region, observed of me; that is why I come to ask you to his religious duties, was sent for by the sous- paint my portrait. Will you ?” “I am ready, | préfet, who said to him: “It is reported that Madame,” said he, beginning at once to pre- you are a constant attendant at church on pare his palette and brushes. "In what cos- Sundays; more than that, you always take a tume do you wish to be painted ?” “In this," book with you; and a man who follows a sery- she answers; and, throwing off her hood and ice with a book must not be surprised if he cloak, he saw a woman still young and is put down as a Clerical. Besides, there are pretty, her hair powdered and covered with your daughters: the eldest, who is being edu- a simple little cap, a gray silk dress, green cated at a convent, sings in the chapel choir, apron, high-heeled shoes, and a carton in her and her sister makes the collection at the hand. “I am Madame Venotte," she went parish church. Now all these things are on; "I had the honor to be maréchale de noted in your dossier, and I think it fair to dentelles to la sainte reine whom they have warn you that you are getting the reputation sent to God. I wish my children always to of being a Clerical.” A terrible indictment see me in the costume I used to wear when truly! No wonder the poor postmaster was Marie Antoinette deigned to admit me to perplexed for a reply. But fortunately he her presence.” Though he painted this por- consulted the curé of the parish, and fortu- trait in haste, with tears in his eyes, it was nately the curé was a man of the world, one of the best ever done by Isabey. who gave the soundest counsel. Instantly Poppo, the celebrated violinist, was also distinguishing between the essential and the seized and dragged before the bloodthirsty trivial, he convinced the postmaster that he comité du salut public. “Your name?” “Pop must not sacrifice his career for an unimpor- po.” “Your profession?" "I play the vio- tant zeal. “Leave your prayer book at lin.” “What did you do in the time of the home," said he, “if it offends the anti-Cleri- tyrant?" "I played the violin.” “What do cals; tell the sisters not to let your daughter you do now?” “I play the violin.” “And sing in the choir and I will find another of what shall you do for the nation?” 'I shall our young friends to take the place of your play the violin.” Wonderful to say, he was second girl in making the collection on Sun- acquitted.-COMTESSE DE BASSANVILLE, “Sal- days.” Thus the situation was saved.-J. E. ons d'Autrefois.” C. BODLEY, “France.' Talma told our author [Augustus von The Madness of the Mob Kotzebue] that he was one day in company The Terror had reached its final stage; with a large party, when the whim struck to be suspected of being suspected was them to play à la guillotine. This they did enough to secure your arrest; to be arrested with a fire screen, which they pulled up and meant being sentenced to death. It is a well-| let down on the necks of such as chose to known story of the inhabitant of Paris, who, suffer. It happened that in less than two on presenting himself at the barriers, though days after, the whole party, except Talma, he had a spencer, a fine cockade in his hat, were called upon to repeat the divertissement French Revolution 226 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in a more public and ceremonious manner, People amuse themselves with their fu- with a better apparatus provided at public ture instrument of torture as if it were a toy. expense.-Edinburgh Review, October, 1804. In a Girondin salon they play at guillotine The singer Desaugiers was well known with a movable screen that is lifted and let for his quick and ready answers. Being still fall again. At elegant dinners a little guillo- in Paris during the Terror, although never tine is brought in with the dessert and takes of republican opinions, he was obliged of the place of a sweet dish. A pretty woman course to wear the tricolor cockade. One day places a doll representing some political ad. he forgot to put it on and presented him- versary under the knife; it is decapitated in self without it at the gates of the Tuileries the neatest possible style, and out of it runs in order to go into the gardens, but was something red that smells good, a liqueur bruskly stopped by the official, who asked perfumed with ambergris, into which every why he was not wearing it; while a crowd lady hastens to dip her lace handkerchief. of sinister faces at once began to gather French gaiety would make a vaudeville out around him. Desaugiers saw his danger, but of the day of judgment.-IMBERT SAINT-AM. with his usual presence of mind showed nei- | AND, “Marie Antoinette and the Downfall of ther fear nor confusion. Taking off his hat Royalty.” he looked at it slowly with surprise, saying, [The prison Les Oiseaux] owes its name as if to himself, “It is true; I have not my to an immense aviary in the garden, which cockade. No doubt I must have forgotten was visible from the street. At the begin- and left it on my nightcap.” Most of the ning of the Revolution the "patriots" of the rabid mob believed him so fanatical a repub section showed at once the value of their lican that he wore the tricolor by night as | humanitarian ideals and their utter incapac- well as by day; a few, who guessed the truth, ity for self-government by scaling the walls admired his presence of mind and let him and restoring the birds to liberty, with the escape.-COUNTESS DE BASSANVILLE. result that all that did not die of hunger The executioner generally cut the hair were devoured by the cats of the section. - of the condemned close off, it being his per- W. R. H. TROWBRIDGE, "Daughters of Eve." quisite. Sanson, one of his class, possessed Having paid a visit to her native coun- a cupboard at one time filled with the hair try (France), she returned to St. Petersburg of the individuals, male and female, whom he about the beginning of this winter [1797] had cropped before their execution-treas- and appeared in public in a dress entirely à ured, no doubt, for sale to hairdressers. The la guillotine, that is to say, in a scarlet stuff, object of this operation was to prevent the made so as to fit close to the body, with pan. edge of the ax, as it fell, from meeting with | taloons descending close to the feet, and cov- any resistance on the nape of the neck. The ered with light transparent gauze; the hair coming between the knife and the integu breasts entirely bare as well as the arms as ment might deaden the edge. What an idea high up as the shoulders; the hair from be- of ladies wearing false hair, supplied from hind drawn back very tight and fastened en the scissors of the executioner! Yet the fact blematically on the top of the head.-The cannot be doubted.-JOHN TIMBS, “Century Gentleman's Magazine, January, 1801. of Anecdote.” A costume blending that of the artisan She [Madame de Genlis) was living in a and the gamekeeper displayed Charles Fox as pension full of émigrés at Dresden. Alone a Jacobin à la mode in 1793. In that year, in her room and, divided as usual between thus habited, he electrified his Woolbeding thoughts of pedantry and of love, she was friends as he entered the drawing room with pursuing her nightly studies of geology and cropped hair, no hair powder, neither ruffles the harp. It was just striking twelve when to his sleeves nor buckles to his shoes, but as a knock at her door startled her. She at a substitute for the latter positively nothing once apprehended a midnight lover, prepared | less vulgar than strings. "My dear Charles," herself for defense and told him to come in. said Lord Robert Spencer, with a twinkle in Her fears seemed fulfilled when a bald old his eye as he looked at his visitor, “I protest, gentleman, her fellow pensionnaire, rushed to make the thing complete you must give us into the apartment and folded her in his your friend Jean de Lille's Marseillaise arms. She struggled in vain. "Robespierre hymn." Women of fashion piqued themselves is dead!” he cried, “therefore I kiss you, on quickly catching the inspiration of "dear Madame!” and, propriety satisfied, she con- | Charleg.” Hitherto a lock of hair like that scientiously returned the embrace.-EDITH stolen from Miss Arabella Fermor by Lord SICHEL, “The Household of the Lafayettes.” | Petre, immortalized by Pope, had been the 227 French Revolution OF THE GREAT universal vogue. Suddenly these tresses dis. I and fanaticism.” On the work being appeared; ladies of all ages and all ranks cluded..... exhibited heads, rounded à la victime and d Whilst the seals were being aſxed to the la guillotine, as if ready for the stroke of sixty-eight courts, clerks' offices and depots, the ax.-T. H. S. EsCOTT, “Society in the an express messenger hastened from the Cour Country House." du Mai to inform the mayor of the discov- In the dawn of the cold morning [Janu- | ery of a blazoned emblem attached to the ary 21, 1794] in Ventose troops are drawn up Bassochians' oak. An order was immediate- in battle array around the guillotine. Be ly drawn up, commanding that the seditious hind their serried ranks are the people, who emblem and “its accomplice," the tree, should are curious as to the spectacle which Antoine be instantly destroyed. Four commissaires Louis Albitte is about to afford them. A were appointed to see to this, and whilst the warlike procession then debouches on the inspection was being continued in the in- square, the Conventional marching at its terior of the Palais, the municipal sappers, in head. The drums roll, on the dry pavement the midst of cries of joy from the people, sound the steps of soldiers, and amid all the collected in front of the railings, cut down military din groans the heavy sound of a the last of the Palais may-poles.-G. LE wagon laden with victims. There they are, NÔTRE, “The Tribunal of the Terror.” standing up, motionless, as if frozen on that The judges' new dress was decreed by the still morn in which the sky seems pregnant Constituent Assembly on February 11th, with snow; leaning against the wagon side 1793. The effect was considered to be “de- they are pale as wax. Wax? Yes, indeed, plorable.” Old frequenters of the Palais re- they are only dressed-up statues, dolls in gretted the old costume, pointing out that masks, imitating the “despots," the “ty- "the uniformity of the dress balked, in the rants," the sovereigns of Europe. There is the case of some, their vanity for dressing well king of Prussia; there is “the Austrian's" and concealed the others under a costume brother; there is Pitt; standing up in the that was too modest or too unstudied.” symbolic cart. As they reach the foot of the Moreover, the amplitude of the old robes, by guillotine, the assistants bestir themselves, enveloping the whole figure, had the advan- take the wax figures down, and whilst the tage of hiding physical deformities and the people shout “Long live the Nation!” and the new judges were not long before they felt the drums roll, the lifeless heads are guillotined inconveniences that resulted from the exhi- one after the other, and a bladder swollen bition of their legs. It appears that it is with animal blood drenches each in turn. from this time that there dates the custom Thus did Albitte celebrate the anniversary of draping the tables of court rooms with of the king's death. table covers reaching to the ground, hiding Saint-Prix's sentence was what every one from the public the lower limbs of its magis- expected, but it involved his dog at the same trates and thus repairing, as far as pos- time. It had been trained to give notice of sible, the legislators' lack of foresight.-M. strangers approaching its master's lodging. FOURNEL, "History of the Bar of Paris and One day the bearer of an order for Saint-Prix the Courts of the Revolution." was bitten in the calf by the watchful animal. Another article of the minutes [of the The court condemned it and next day, Mon- Council] was a decree which forbade pretty day, November 18th [1793], the judgment was women appearing at the mayor's office, executed. The National Archives have pre- whither they came to solicit the release of served the details of the strange trial.- imprisoned aristocrats. At this article, He- HECTOR FLEISCHMANN, “Behind the Scenes bert, the attorney of the Common Council, in the Terror." rose to complain of the non-execution of this As to the clock, which dated from the salutary law. Somebody attempted to ob- reign of Charles V., it had been stopped on serve in extenuation that "in the land of St. Bartholomew's night and since then the Freedom the public offices were necessarily hands had pointed to eleven, the hour at open to all; that tastes differed and that a which the massacre had begun. In 1793 lady might be admitted as ugly by one and Chaumette proposed at a meeting of the rejected by another as pretty, and that young Paris Commune that the clock should be re and old, handsome and plain, all might have paired "with the fleur-de-lys hand pointing business to do; and that, in short, public ofli- to eleven o'clock, so that this fleur-de-lys, cers could not possibly execute the decree.” the only one preserved in the whole of Paris, These reasons, however plausible, did not should forever recall the outrages of tyranny convince Hebert, who renewed the complaints French Bevolution Gambetta 228 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES. against these pretty aristocrats--these Cir shades of Rousseau—will get a layette worth ces, as he called them to the satisfaction of eighteen francs in addition if they promised the crowd of women, most of them old, and to nurse their babies themselves. Foundlings all of them disgusting, who composed the au are to be the special care of the nation but, ditory.-ABBÉ MORELLET, "Memoirs." lest their feelings should be hurt, they are Having had occasion to consult the “Al. never to be called anything but “orphans.”— manach Royal” for 1790, we happened to E. F. HENDERSON, "Symbol and Satire in the procure a copy handsomely bound-but the French Revolution.” red morocco and gilding had not prevented The republican calendar was the only the prudence of some former owner from one permitted. All kinds of words and col- cutting out from the title on the back of the loquialisms were prohibited and replaced by volume the word “Royal.”—Quarterly Re republican equivalents. Thus, my father, view, March, 1834. playing piquet with a lieutenant of the con- According to the terms of a decree is- stabulary, would say "fourteen citoyennes," sued by the Convention they [actors and and the lieutenant would answer, "Not good; actresses] were obliged to comply with cer- I have fourteen tyrants.” It was hard to tain conditions arbitrarily imposed upon keep one's countenance and not smile at such trivialities. them, one of which was sufficiently absurd- There are old people in Paris who from force of habit still say Faubourg namely, the suppression, whenever they OC- curred, of the words "monsieur," "madame" Antoine, Rue Nicaise or Rue Barbe, without and "monseigneur,” and the substitution in adding the prefix "Saint” or “Sainte.” Every their place of “citoyen” and “citoyenne”; the one knows the story about Saint-Janvier. effect of this transformation, when the piece “What is your name?” “De " "There are happened to be in verse, being indescribably no more Des.'” “Saint- ” “There are ludicrous.—CHARLES HERVEY, Longmans's none.” “Janvier (January].” “January ex- Magazine, January, 1886. ists no longer.” And his passport was made in the name of Citoyen Nivose, ci-devant The public squares and streets received Saint-Janvier.--POUMIER DE LA SIBOUTIE, republican names; the very words “ville" and "Recollections of a Parisian.” “village” were thrust out of the language because they related to villeinage; the coin- FRONDE. age had to be changed, for of course there Fronde, i.e., slinging, being the name given could be no louis d’ors. There were to be to the faction, I will give you the etymology instead “republican” and “gold francs," which of it, which I omitted in the first book. When were to bear the inscription, "The people Parlement met upon state affairs, the Duke alone is sovereign.” Children were to be of Orleans and the Prince of Condé came fre- given only republican names in baptism; no quently and tempered the heat of the con- more of your Charleses, Louises and Henrys, tending parties, but the coolness was not last- or your Maries and Elizabeths. Victors and ing, for every other day their fury returned Franklins and Pierres were to take their | upon them. Bachaumont once said in jest places. The duke of Orléans became Philippe that the Parlement acted like schoolboys in Égalité. We have names so bizarre that | the ditches, who fling stones and run away they excited the derision even of patriotic when they see the constable but meet again newspapers: for instance, Liberty of Con- | when he turns his back. This was thought science. The Feuille Villageoise writes of a very pretty comparison. It came to be a this name: "A father when giving his daugh subject for ballads and, upon the peace be- ter a paternal kiss, a comrade in the joyous tween the king and the Parlement, it was re- games of youth, a lover in the transports of vived and applied to those who were not legitimate affection—will they call her 'Lib- agreed with the court; and we studied to give erty of Conscience'? ... Zealous converts | it all possible currency because we observed were won for the revolution by playing fast | that it excited the wrath of the people. We and loose with all the old-established rights of therefore resolved to wear hatbands made in property. Illegitimate children, being "the the form of a sling, and had a great number elders of the human race and the founders of of them made ready to be distributed among all society," were to inherit equally with the a parcel of rough fellows, and we wore them legitimate; mothers and fathers, who on ac ourselves last of all, for it would have looked count of the size of their families could not very much like affectation and spoiled all had make both ends meet, were to be given na we been the first in the mode. It is inex- tional aid. Those about to become mothers pressible what influence this had upon the might demand this beforehand and-Oh | mass of the people; their bread, hats, gloves, 229 French Revolution OF THE GREAT Gambetta handkerchiefs, fans, ornaments were all à la God that he had never been corrupted by con- mode de Fronde, and we were ourselves more tact with a college. “Do I understand the in the fashion by this trifle than in reality. speaker thanks God for his ignorance?" in- And the truth is we had need of all our shifts terrupted the Chief Justice. “Well, yes," to support us against the whole royal family. was the answer, "you can put it that way if -CARDINAL DE RETZ, "Memoirs.” you want to.” “All I have to say then," said (Montglat says that, after the practise the Chief Justice in his sweet, musical tone, “is that the member has a great deal to of fighting with slings, frondes, in the ditches thank God for.”—The Green Bag, May, 1913, of Paris had been prohibited, a member of quoting The Pathfinder. Parlement, when a question of favor to the queen was under discussion, exclaimed, “When Twenty years ago Chief Justice Fuller it comes my turn to vote, I shall fronder my was practising before Judge MacArthur in father's opinion.” The ludicrous use of the Chicago. In his speech before the judge he word “fronder” created a laugh and gave rise pleaded his client's ignorance of an offense to the appellation of “frondeurs" to those he had committed. The judge said, “Every who were opposed to the royal family.) man is supposed to know the law, Mr. Full- er.” “I am aware of that,” responded Mr. FULLER, Melville Weston, 1833-1910. Amer Fuller. “Every shoemaker, tailor, mechanic ican jurist. and illiterate laborer is presumed to know Shortly before his death the late Chief the law. Yes, every man is presumed to Justice Fuller presided at a church confer know it, except the judges of the Supreme ence. During the progress of a heated de- | Court, and we have a Court of Appeals to bate a member arose and began a tirade correct their mistakes.”—The Albany Law against universities and education, thanking Journal, November 11, 1893. G GALLATIN, Albert, 1761-1849. American IIis favorite novel was "The Antiquary," statesman. which he read once a year. Novels, he said, Among the incidents connected with his should be read the last chapter first in order earliest explorations was an interview with that the appreciation of the style should not be lost in the interest excited by the story.- General Washington, which he repeatedly re- counted to me. He had previously observed STEVENS. that of all the inaccessible men he had ever GAMBETTA, Léon Michel, 1838-1882. French seen, General Washington was the most so. statesman. . And this remark he made late in life, after How often have I not heard people de- having been conversant with most of the plore Gambetta's mad act of spite in blinding sovereigns of Europe and their prime minis- himself in his right eye because his father ters. He said that in connection with his would not take him away from the little office, he had a cot-bed in the office of the seminary at Cahors, kept by priests, towards surveyor of the district where Washington, whom, it is said, Gambetta had already be- who had lands in the neighborhood and was gun to show animosity.–VILLETTE M. Mon- desirous of effecting communication between TAGU's introduction to her translation of P. the rivers, came. Mr. Gallatin's bed was B. Gheusi's “Gambetta, Life and Letters.” given up to him-Gallatin lying on the floor immediately below the table at which Wash One of his schoolfellows tells us the real ington was writing. Washington was en truth of the accident and its consequences: deavoring to reduce to paper the calculations "This is how the accident happened. Gam- of the day. Gallatin, hearing the statement, betta was spending his holidays at Cahors came at once to the conclusion and, after in his father's house. A cutler named Galtie waiting for some time, he himself gave the | had set up his booth by the side of his fa- answer, which drew from Washington such | ther's shop. The child was always running in a look as he had never experienced before and out of the cutler's workshop. One day, mor since. On arriving by a slow process at while a workman was boring a hole into a his conclusion, Washington turned to Galla knife with a steel gimlet worked with a sort tin and said, “You are right, young man.”— of drill-bow, the steel rod snapped off and WILLIAM B. LAWRENCE, to the New York one of the fragments struck the child in the Historical Society, quoted by JOIN AUSTIN right eye. Gambetta, for the rest of his life, STEVENS, “Albert Gallatin." was blind of one eye.”—GHEUSI. Gambetta Garter, Order of 230 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES In the ardor of his gestures a gap often not catching the meaning of some French ex- showed above his waist-band. Baroche, when pression he had used, put up his hand to his keeper of the seals, was unwilling to make ear and said, “I beg pardon.” Unfortunately him a magistrate. “Want of respectability" the count was noted for his antipathy to re- stands on his record. Later, one of Gambet- | publicanism, so Gambetta chose to construe ta's former friends, who had become his op his harmless little gesture into mockery. ponent, threw this detail into his face: “Gam "Look here, Mr. Ambassador," he said to the betta, you will never fill up the abyss which astonished diplomatist, “it's quite true I separates your waistcoat from your trou- speak the language of the people, but if you sers.”-GABRIEL HANOTAUX, "Contemporary like it I will have my remarks translated France." into heraldic jargon for you." I can still see him entering the dining Hearing of some grossly impertinent re- room, his back bent, his shoulders swaying, quest that had been made to him, his secre- his face aflame, and one-eyed also. As soon tary, M. Reinach, once exclaimed, “Why didn't as he appeared all the other equine heads you kick the fellow downstairs?” “Kick him around the table were raised and he was downstairs ?” laughed Gambetta, "why, fat as greeted with loud neighs of “Ah, ah, ah, I am, I should have lost my balance and here's Gambetta." ... He sat down nois. | rolled after him; where would my dignity ily, spread himself over the table, or threw | have been then?”. himself back in his chair, perorated, struck The wife of an ex-Bonaparte minister- the table with his fists, laughed loudly enough a lady of great fascination—took it upon to break the windows, pulled all the table- herself to call on Gambetta and point out to cloth toward himself, sent his spittle flying him how much he could advance his fortunes about the place, got drunk without drinking, if he cast his lot with the Prince Imperial. snatched the dishes away from you, took the | He listened good-naturedly, "feeling like a words out of your mouth and, after talking mastiff who was being talked to by a tom- all the time, went off without having said tit,” as he afterwards put it, till at length anything. He was Gaudissart and Gazonal the lady, taking a bunch of violets (the combined; that is to say, the most rustic and Bonapartist emblem) from her dress, asked loudest-mouthed bore that can be imagined.-- him to wear it in his buttonhole that day. ALPHONSE DAUDET, "Lettres à un Absent,” “With pleasure," answered Gambetta, glad to first edition only. bring the interview to an end; but as soon There was an amusing affair at the Sa as he had said this he remembered that the lon of 1879. A certain Mademoiselle Salvini date was the 16th of March, the Prince Im- employed a sculptor named Granet to model perial's birthday, and that, if he appeared at a bust of Gambetta, which was cast in bronze the Chamber of Deputies with violets in his and exhibited as her work under the artistic buttonhole, some very silly rumors might get pseudonym of “Salvadio," It was huge, the into circulation. He reminded his visitor of atrical and hideous and when Gambetta saw this, but she was inexorable. "You've prom- it at the Salon he at once requested the au ised,” she said. “Ah, well,” replied Gambetta, thorities to remove it on the ground that it and he wore the violets all that afternoon, was a libelous presentment of his physiog causing thereby just the sort of gossip he had nomy. The request was at once acceded to, anticipated. One may add that such gossip the law being entirely on his side.-E. A. was not indifferent to him. Highly sensitive VIZETELLY, “Republican France." as he was, he often winced inwardly at the ill-natured sayings which he bore with out- His best cigars, a very important mat- ter for Gambetta, who was a gluttonous ward composure.-Cornhill Magazine, Febru. smoker. ... Gambetta never traveled with- ary, 1883. out a box of cigars. Often in his excursions When after his death his father was be- he carried it under his arm.—MADAM ADAM, sought to allow the great patriot's body to be The North American Review, April, 1886. buried in Paris, in the capital of his beloved France, the old man, with the obstinacy which He did not at all care for music. At a had always marked his treatment of his friend's house, where he sometimes spent the gifted son, sent a curt telegram, “You had evening, as soon as music commenced he went him while he was alive; now that he is dead, into an adjoining room and played billiards. worn out by your politics, I wish to have him. -Pall Mall Gazette, February, 1884. He shall rest in the little cemetery of Nice, Once during the marshalate he met Count whither his mother preceded him. I do not Wimpffen, the late Austrian ambassador, who, I wish his grave to de desecrated in the ha 231 Gambetta OF THE GREAT Garter, Order of after.”_VIOLETTE M. MONTAGU's introduc in Naples and Caserta, were in no way differ- tion to Gheusi's “Gambetta, Life and Let- ent from those of his Caprera farm. For- ters." mality there was none. Important visitors GARIBALDI, Giuseppe, 1807-1882. Italian were sent to him to have an audience what- statesman. ever he was doing. Not infrequently they found him combing out his hair, to which he The speedy consequence of my entire devo- | still gave long and careful attention, although tion to the cause of Italy was that on the the thick flowing locks which had adorned 5th of February, 1834, I was passing out of the defender of Rome no longer fell over his the gate of Linterna, of Genoa, at seven shoulders. On another occasion, with more o'clock in the evening, in the disguise of a despatch, he evacuated his red shirt and gray peasant-a proscript. At that time my pub- flannels and retired into bed, still discussing lic life commenced; and, a few days after, I the business in hand with his astonished saw my name for the first time in a news- visitor. paper, but it was a sentence of death.- GARIBALDI, “Autobiography." The dictator took ten francs a day for his civil list and did not add to it by any indirect When Garibaldi lay wounded and a means. Once when he burnt a hole in his prisoner after the ill-conceived affair of As- clothes he was hard put to it for a change. promonte, British sympathy poured in upon To Alexander Dumas, who had come over in the fallen hero in any form that kindness and his yacht to see historical romance in the generosity could suggest. There was not a living reality, Garibaldi said one day, “If I possible want, not a single requirement, that were rich I would do like you; I would have English forethought and benevolence left un- a yacht.” Dumas was much moved, for he supplied. Wines, cordials, summer and win- had just seen him sign a check for a half ter clothing, tracts, towels and table linen million francs of public money.-G. M. TRE- arrived in masses and the little esplanade be- VELYAN, “Garibaldi and the Making of Italy.” fore his prison resembled the busy quay of a custom-house. ... "I am overcome,” said There can be no doubt that some light he, seating himself, and speaking in a voice cloud had arisen to overshadow the splendor broken and tremulous; "these proofs of sym of the reception at Milan. True to his vow, pathy are too touching to be borne.” Be- | Garibaldi would not consent to remain in the lieving it was British munificence and gener city while the French were in occupation. In osity he referred to, for we were sitting sur vain the king of Sardinia, that jolly cosmop- rounded by their evidences, I endeavored, half olite, essayed to point out to him that the apologetically, to lay something to the ac presence of the French army was not so count of English eccentricity and that fer dangerous .... vor, which, underlying the phlegm of the The chieftain had made up his mind nation, is its most characteristic feature. I never to trust to expressions or asseverations, "You mistake me, my friend,” said he, “it is however solemn, made from the lips of a not of your countrymen I was now thinking. Frenchman, and consequently declared to the It was the association of ladies' in Milan king that, until he could forget the false who have written such an affecting address French republicans in republican Rome, he to poor Garibaldi-every word of it would would never consent to treat the French as a make your heart bleed; and they have sent serious people. The prejudice seems really to me this”-and he produced a square envelope have acted on Garibaldi's mind in the most from his pocket and drew forth-a pincush violent manner, for even the French corre- ion!--CORNELIUS O'Dowd, Blackwood's Maga spondents from Milan noticed the unaccount- zine, September, 1869.. able fancy which led the patriot to take up Once his own son Menotti, his son-in-law his residence, during the few short hours he remained there, just outside the town, in Carizio and the fin fleur of his officers ten- dered their resignations. "Tell them,” said spite of the urgent supplications of his friends and the offers of hospitality made by he to the messenger who brought the written the first families of Milan.--The Eclectic deed, “that only cowards resign in the face of the foe and that unless they return to Alagazine, August, 1859. their duty in twenty-four hours they will be GARTER, Order of. brought before a court martial.”-J. W. MA- There goeth a tale among the people that RIO, Temple Bar, October, 1877. it arose by this means: It chanced that The manners and way of life of the dic- King Edward, finding the garter of the Count- tator in the palace at Palermo, as afterwards | ess of Salisbury, with whom he was in love, Garter, Order of Georgé L. 232 WITWS , WISDOM AND FOIBLES being fallen from her leg, stooped down and terest in the conditions of persons imprisoned took it up, whereat divers of his nobles for debt and on several occasions we find him found matters to jest, and to talk their fan- | kindly procuring their release. Previously to cies merrily touching the king's affection his quitting Hanover, to assume the sover- toward the lady, unto whom he said, that if | eignty of England, he ordered a general eman- he lived, it should come to pass that most cipation of all insolvent debtors throughout high honor should be given to them for the the electorate, and only a few months after- garter's sake; and thereupon shortly after wards presented the sheriff of London with a wards he devised and ordained this Order of thousand pounds to be applied to a similar the Garter, with such a posy; whereby he sig object. Again, in a progress which he made nified that his nobles judged otherwise of through the English provinces in 1722, the him than the truth was.-JEAN FROISSART, king, at his own expense, released from jail “Chronicles." all prisoners confined for debt in every town A chapter of the Garter is to be held at through which he passed. St. James's next Friday; in which Prince Ed Of the king's peculiar kind of humor, ward, the Prince of Orange, the Earls of and of his practise of embellishing a slight Lincoln, Winchelsea and Cardigan are to be incident, the following may be taken as a elected Knights Companions of the Order of specimen: “This is a very odd country," he the Garter. Though solely nominated by the said, speaking of England; "the first morn- crown, they are said to be elected; because ing after my arrival at St. James's, I looked there is a pretended election. All the knights out of a window and saw a park with walls are summoned to attend the sovereign at a and a canal, which they told me were mine. chapter, to be held on such a day, in order The next day, Lord Chetwynd, the ranger of to elect so many new knights into the vacant my park, sent me a brace of fine carp out of stalls of the deceased ones; accordingly they my own canal and I was told I must give meet in the council chamber, where they all five guineas to Lord Chetwynd's man, for sit down according to their seniority, at a bringing me my own carp out of my own long table, where the sovereign presides. canal in my own park."-J. H. JESSE, “Eng. There every knight pretends to write a list of land Under the House of Hanover." those for whom he intends to vote; and, in George I., of England, having frequently effect, writes down nine names, such as he experienced the rapacity of the Dutch at thinks proper, taking care, however, to in- Helvoetsluys, was determined to avoid it by sert the names of those who are really to not stopping there on one of his journeys. be elected; then the Bishop of Salisbury, who It was a fine summer's day and while they is always the chancellor of the Order, goes were employed in putting to the horses and round the table and takes the paper of each disposing his baggage in the coach, he sat knight, pretends to look into them, and then down on a bench before the door of the prin- declares the majority of votes to be for those cipal inn and asked for three fresh eggs; persons who were nominated by the crown. which, being brought him, he inquired how Upon this declaration, two of the older much he must pay for them. The landlord knights go into the outward room, where the replied, “Two hundred florins." "How," said new ones are attending, and introduces them, the king, "eggs must be very scarce then at one after another, according to their ranks. Helvoetsluys." "Pardon me, sire,” replied The new knight kneels down before the the sharping landlord, "eggs are plenty king, who puts the riband around his neck; enough but kings are scarce in this country." then he turns to the Prince of Wales, or, in -The Gentleman's Magazine, Supplement, his absence, to the oldest knight, who puts 1774. the garter about his leg. This is the cere- mony of the chapter; that of the installa- Soon after his first arrival in this coun- tion, which is always performed in St. try, a favorite cook, whom he had brought George's chapel, at Windsor, completes the from Hanover, grew melancholy and wanted whole thing; for till then the new knights to return home. The king having inquired cannot wear the star, unless by particular why he wished to quit his household, the dispensation from the sovereign, which is fellow replied, “I have long served your maj- very seldom granted.-LORD CHESTERFIELD, esty honestly, not suffering anything to be "Letters." embezzled in your kitchen, but here the dishes no sooner come from your table than GEORGE I., 1660-1727. King of England. one steals a fowl, another a pig, a third a From some cause, which has been left un- joint of meat, a fourth a pie, and so on until explained, he had conceived a particular in- | the whole is gone; and I cannot bear to see 233 I, OF THE GREAT George Garter, Order of your majesty so injured.” The king, laugh- | bumper, at the same time proposing "the ing heartily, said, "My revenues here enable Pretender,” he said, “With all my heart I me to bear those things; and so, to reconcile will drink to the health of any unfortunate you to your place, do you steal like the rest prince."-JESSE. and mind you take enough.” The cook fol- On one of his journeys to Hanover his lowed this advice and soon became a very coach broke down. At a distance in view was expert and flourishing thief.-GEORGE GOD- the château of a considerable German noble- FREY CUNNINGHAM, “Lives of Eminent and man. The king sent to borrow assistance. Illustrious Englishmen.” The possessor came, conveyed the king to his A German nobleman was one day con house and begged the honor of his majesty's gratulating this monarch on his being sov accepting a dinner while his carriage was ereign of this kingdom and of Hanover. repairing and in the interim asked leave to "Rather,” said he, "congratulate me on hav. amuse his majesty with a collection of pic- ing such a subject in one as Newton and such tures which he had formed in several towns a subject in the other as Leibnitz."-WIL of Italy. But what did the king see in one LIAM SEWARD, "Anecdotes of Distinguished of the rooms but an unknown portrait of a Persons.” person in the robes and with the regalia of a sovereign of Great Britain. George asked George I. knew well how to temper the whom it represented. The nobleman replied cares of royalty with the pleasures of private with much diffidence but decent respect, that life and commonly invited six or eight in various journeys to Rome he had been friends to pass the evening with him. His acquainted with the Chevalier of St. George, majesty seeing Dr. Lockier one day at court, who had done him the honor of sending him desired the Duchess of Ancaster, who was that picture. “Upon my word," said the almost always of the party, to ask the doctor king instantly, “it is very like to the family." to come that evening. When the company It was impossible to remove the embarrass- met that evening, Dr. Lockier was not there; ment of the proprietor with more good breed- and the king inquired whether the duchess ing.-HORACE WALPOLE, "Memoirs." had invited him. “Yes,” she said, “but the doctor presents his humble duty to your Mr. Rosenhagen, who was domestic stew- majesty, and hopes your majesty will have ard of the Duchess of Munster, used to re- the goodness to excuse him at present; he late as a fact, within his personal knowledge, is soliciting some preferment from your ma- that when the Earl of Nithsdale made his jesty's ministers and fears it may be some escape out of the Tower the night before he obstacle to him if it should be known that | was to be executed, the deputy lieutenant of he had the honor of keeping such good com- the Tower, as soon as it was known, went to pany.” The king laughed very heartily and St. James's to acquaint the king with it and said he believed he was in the right. Not to vindicate himself from any remissness or many weeks after Dr. Lockier kissed the treachery in his conduct. His majesty was king's hand as Dean of Peterborough and, entertaining himself with a select party of as he was rising from kneeling, the king in- the nobility and it was with difficulty that clined forwards and with great good humor the lieutenant gained admittance; when, with whispered in his ear, “Well, now, doctor, you some alarm and concern, he told his majesty will not be afraid to come in the evening; I that he had some ill news to acquaint him would have you come this evening,” an invi- with. The king said directly, “What? Is the tation which we need not add was very read. city on fire or is there a new insurrection ?" ily accepted.—PERCY, “Anecdotes." He said that neither was the case, but told his majesty of Nithsdale's escape. The king When it was reported to him of an old most humanely replied, “Is that all? It was acquaintance that, on hearing the news of the wisest thing he could do and what I his accession, he had observed, “I have no would have done in his place. And pray, objection to smoke a pipe with him as Elector Mr. Lieutenant, be not too diligent in search- of Hanover, but I cannot admit his claims to ing after him, for I wish for no man's blood.” the throne of Great Britain,” the king is said -PERCY, “Anecdotes." not only to have shown no resentment but to The malicious Duchess of Orleans re- have frequently regretted that a difference in joiced in a tale Lord Peterborough related political opinion should have separated him (among others) of his petty avarice. A lady from a man he loved. who had played cards with him was eighteen It is said of him that when at a masquer- | “francs” in his debt and next morning sends ade a lady in a domino invited him to fill a | him a number of bottles of wine. King George II. 234 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES George I. bids the footman who brings them, | culty was stopped from carrying him into the “Tell your mistress to give you eight francs enemy's lines. The king, dismounting from for me and then she will owe me only ten." the fiery quadruped, said bravely, "Now I ALICE D. GREENWOOD, "Lives of the Hanover know I shall not run away,” and placed him- ian Queens of England," citing the corre self at the head of the foot, drew his sword, spondence of the Duchess of Orleans. brandishing it at the whole French army and calling out to his own men to come on, On one occasion, having been to the thea- in bad English, but with the most famous ter the night before when Colley Cibber's pluck and spirit.-W. M. THACKERAY, “The first dramatic performance, “Love's Last Four Georges.” Shift," was acted, the king inquired of her (the Duchess of Bolton] the next day what "Now I am on my legs again I shall be piece she had seen performed. “The play," certain of not running away."—N. W. WRAX- she said with a grave face, “was La Dernière ALL, "Memoirs of His Own Time.” Chemise de l'Amour.”—JESSE. In Schmidt's "Geschichte der Deutschen" the following account is given of a visit of GEORGE II., 1683-1760. King of England. an Earl of Cornwall to the court of Saxe- In the afternoon of the 14th of June, 1727, Gotha. This Earl of Cornwall was, however, two horsemen might have been perceived gal. no other personage than George II., who, in loping along the road from Chelsea to Rich order to accomplish his views, and to lull all mond. The foremost, cased in the jack-boots suspicion of his actual birth, on account of of the period, was a broad-faced, jolly-looking his aptitude in the German language, so un- and very corpulent cavalier; but by the man usual in an Englishman, pretended that fam- ner in which he urged his horse, you might ily differences had obliged him to take up see that he was a bold as well as skilful rider. his abode in Germany, where he had then Indeed, no man loved sport better; and in resided for a considerable length of time. the hunting-fields of Norfolk no squire rode No suspicion whatever was entertained of the more boldly after the fox, or cheered Ring- royal personage and during his residence at wood or Sweettips more lustily, than he who this court he lost no opportunity of studying now thundered over the Richmond road. He the character of Princess Augusta. The fol- speedily reached Richmond lodge and asked to lowing anecdote is related of him in the see the owner of the mansion. The mistress above-mentioned work. He was one evening of the house and her ladies, to whom our dancing with the Princess Augusta and in the friend was admitted, said he could not be course of conversation he inquired if she introduced to the master, however pressing felt any inclination to visit England. The the business might be. The master was princess replied that there was not any coun- asleep after his dinner: and woe to the per- try she had a greater desire to see. "Then son who interrupted him. Nevertheless, our you shall see it," said his majesty, "and I stout friend of the jack-boots put the affright shall exact one promise from you, that at the ed ladies aside, opened the forbidden door of first ball you grace with your presence in the bedroom, wherein upon the bed lay a England, you will do me the honor to accept little gentleman; and here the eager mes- me as your partner, even if the king of Eng- senger knelt down in his jack-boots. He on land should demand you.” “The king of Eng- the bed started up and, with many oaths and land, by all accounts received of him," said a strong German accent, asked who was there the princess, "would rather smoke his pipe and who dared to disturb him. “I am Sir than dance with the most beautiful princess Robert Walpole," said the messenger. The of the empire.” The mock earl felt rather awaked sleeper hated Sir Robert Walpole. disconcerted at this unexpected answer of the “I have the honor to announce to your maj princess and on the following day took his esty that your royal father, King George I., leave, resolving on his return to propose her died at Osnaburg on Saturday last, the 10th in marriage to his son.-ROBERT HUISH, “The inst.” “Dat is one big lie,” roared out his Public and Private Life of George III.” sacred majesty, King George II., but Sir His drives in the afternoon, his com- Robert Walpole stated the fact and from that merce and backgammon at night, his levees day until thirty-three years after George, the and audiences in the morning, were all fixed second of the name, ruled over England. to the instant, so that, as the weary courtiers Whenever we hear of dapper little George complained, with an almanac for the day of at war it is certain that he demeaned him the week and a watch for the hour of the day, self like a little man of valor. At Dettingen everybody would know exactly what point in his horse ran away with him and with diffi- 1 the mill-horse track the court was passing. 235 George II. OF THE GREAT It was his habit to visit his favorite, Mrs. His carriage happening to break down at some Howard, every evening in her own apart distance from a town, he was compelled with ments at nine o'clock, with such mechanical Lord Delamere and his other attendants to punctuality that he often walked about his take refuge in a neighboring public house. chamber for ten minutes with his watch in The place afforded but wretched accommoda- his hand, waiting for the blissful moment. A tions for a court; the only articles of refresh- mistake by a valet would throw him into ment that could be obtained being coffee and such agitation that people who came into the Schiedam; and yet, when the bill was pro- room supposed that he must have just re duced the man had the impudence to demand ceived some dreadful piece of news.—JOHN a hundred pounds. The king naturally ex- MORLEY, “Walpole." pressed some anger at the imposition and dur- There was a strange incapacity of being ing an expostulation which followed Lord sick that ran through the whole of the royal Delamere inquired indignantly whether cof- fee and gin were such scarce articles in those family, which they carried so far that no one of them was more willing to own that any parts. "No," said the man, "but kings are." other of the family was ill than to acknowl- George II. laughed heartily at the rejoinder and, in spite of the value which he usually edge themselves to be so. I have known the king to get out of bed, choking with a sore attached to money, ordered the bill to be throat and in a high fever, only to dress and paid.—JESSE. have a levee and in five minutes undress and In 1748 George II. accidentally met the return to his bed till the same ridiculous Duchess of Bedford on horseback in a riding farce of health was to be presented the next habit of blue faced with white and was so day at the same hour. With all his fondness pleased with the effect of it that, a question for the queen he used to make her in like having been raised as to the propriety of de- circumstances commit the like extravagances. ciding upon some general dress for the Royal -LORD HERVEY, "Memoirs." navy, he immediately commanded the adop- Whenever he was in a passion it was his tion of those colors.-T. F. THISELTON-DYER, custom to take his hat off his head and kick "Royalty in All Ages," quoting Planche. it about the room, and one day he excited We are told that when on one occasion the risibility of his attendants for, having no the lady [Yarmouth] boasted of having re- hat upon his head, his wig became the substi fused the offer of a very large bribe, his tute and it was seen flying in all directions. majesty inquired, “And vy vas you such a --HUISH. great fool?”—Temple Bar, July, 1892. He thought men and women (according I once heard him say that he would much to the report of Lady Mary) born for nothing sooner forgive anybody that had murdered a else but to be "kicked or kissed for his diver- man than anybody that had cut down one of sion,” and whenever one of the ladies gave his oaks, because an oak was so much longer him to understand that she differed with him growing to a useful size than a man, and on that point, he fancied that she only want- consequently one loss would be sooner sup- ed an excuse for getting a little of what he plied than the other: and one evening, after valued above all things—money. He one day a horse had run away and killed himself counted his guineas so often for this purpose, against an iron spike, poor Lady Suffolk say- in the presence of Miss Bellenden, that she ing it was very lucky the man who was upon told him "if he did it again she would go out him had received no hurt, his majesty snapped of the room.” He appears, on a subsequent her very short and said, “Yes, I am very occasion, to have done it again; upon which lucky, truly; pray, where is the luck? I have the disgusted beauty gave a jerk to the rou- lost a good horse and I have a booby of a leau that scattered the guineas about the groom still to keep."-LORD HERVEY. floor and ran off while he was picking them up.-LEIGH HUNT, "Old Court Suburb.” George's strutting airs of dignity were but disguises for the want of it. Lady Delo- The only present he ever made to Wal- raine, who was governess of his children and pole was a diamond and it was found to be at the same time supposed to be one of his cracked quite through.-JOHN MORLEY, "Wal- mistresses, had her chair pulled from under pole." her one evening at Kensington by the Prin- The following amusing instance of the cess Emily, as she was going to sit down at king's good humor is related to have occurred cards. Her ladyship sprawled on the floor; during one of his journeys through Holland and his dignified majesty did not scruple to on his return from his German dominions, | be much diverted and laugh. The countess, George II. George III. 236 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in return, contrived without more ado to out. The coffin in which the body of Queen play him the same trick and his dignity was Caroline was placed had been constructed in so offended that a rupture ensued between a similar manner and his majesty directed them and she was forbidden the court.-LEIGH that one side of each coffin should be drawn HUNT. out, so that the two bodies might be in one One of the officers had made himself coffin. I believe that these directions were amenable to military law by fighting in oppo- very exactly obeyed.—WILLIAM MILLROLLES, sition to the orders of the commander-in-chief, “Recollections and Reflections.” instead of retreating, by which act of diso Mr. [H. H.] Milman, Prebendary of bedience the general's well-laid plans were Westminster, has favored me with the fol- frustrated. On these circumstances being de lowing interesting note upon this subject: tailed to the king, his majesty exclaimed, "George II., as a last proof of his attach- "Oh! The one fight; the other run away." ment, gave directions that his remains and “Your majesty will have the goodness to those of Queen Caroline should be mingled to- understand that General - did not run gether. Accordingly, the two coffins were away; it was necessary for the accomplish placed in a large stone sarcophagus and one ment of his schemes that he should cause the side of each of the wooden coffins withdrawn. army to retreat at that critical moment; this This was a tradition at Westminster Abbey, he would have conducted with his wonted of which I myself have seen the confirmation, skill, but for the breach of duty of the offi in my opinion conclusive, and, as the royal cer under sentence of the court-martial." "I vault in Westminster may never again be understand," impatiently replied the king; opened, it may be curious to present the rec- "one fight, he was right; the other run away, ord. ... In the middle of the vault, to- he was wrong.” It was in vain that minis. wards the further end, stands the large stone ters renewed their arguments and explana- sarcophagus and against the wall are still tions; his majesty could not, or would not, standing the two sides of the coffins which understand the difference between a dis were withdrawn. I saw and examined them graceful flight and a politic retreat. They closely and have no doubt of the fact. The were therefore obliged to end a discussion vault contains only the family of George II.” which merely drew forth the repetition of the -JOHN WILSON CROKER, notes io "Memoirs same judgment, “The one face the enemy; he of Lord Hervey." right: the other turn his back and not fight; he wrong.”—PERCY, “Anecdotes.” GEORGE III., 1738-1820. King of England. George II. being informed that an impu- Lord Eldon related to Mrs. Foster a char- acteristic trait of George III.: "Do you rec- dent printer was to be punished for having | ollect when we took the Danish fleet during published a spurious king's speech, replied, “I hope the man's punishment will be of the the war, Mrs. Forster? We had no right whatever to do so, but we were obliged or it mildest sort, because I have read both; and, would have fallen into the hands of Bona- as far as I understand either of them, I like the spurious speech better than my own."- parte. We deemed it a matter of necessity. LORD WALDEGRAVE, "Memoirs." Well, we sent an ambassador-I think it was Mr. Jackson-to demand the ships from the When George II. was once expressing his Prince Royal; and when the ambassador wait. admiration of General Wolfe, some one re ed on George III. on his return, the king ab- marked that the general was mad. “Is he in-| ruptly asked him, 'Was the Prince Roval deed ?" said his majesty; "then I wish he upstairs or down when he received you?' 'He would bite some of my other generals.”—T. was on the ground floor, please your maj. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Royalty in All Ages.” esty.' 'I am glad of it, I am glad of it for The morning after the king's death my your sake,' rejoined the king, 'for if he had half the spirit of George III. he would infal- father and Sir Edward Wilmot, who were the libly have kicked - you down stairs.'" This only two king's physicians then in town, re- story was related to Lord Eldon by the king ceived an order to be present at the opening himself.-HORACE TWISS, “Life of Lord Chan- of the body and to report their opinion as to the cause of his majesty's death. A pa- cellor Eldon." per of directions left by the king, as to the His majesty, on some complaints against manner in which his body should be treated, his ministers, told Sir Robert Walpole that etc., was produced; and in that paper he had he would himself see all the papers of conse- directed that the coffin should be so con- | quence before any measures were taken on structed that one side of it might be drawn them. Sir Robert was alarmed and went to 237 George II. George III. OF THE GREAT consult his brother Horace what was best to the Bishop of Lincoln, Dr. Pretyman, to the be done. Horace, seeing him so uneasy, | vacant primacy. “Very sorry, very sorry in- laughed and advised him to give the king deed, Pitt," said the king, "but I offered it more than he asked: “Give him all the pa to the Bishop of Norwich last night and he pers and I dare say he will soon have enough accepted. Can't break my word.” Pitt, ac- of them.” Sir Robert took this advice and cording to Lord Sidmouth's account given carried him a cartful, telling his majesty that afterwards to Dean Milman, was very angry he had paid several extra clerks to assist in indeed; but the deed was done, as the king getting more ready and informed him fur- meant it should be, and so Dr. Manners-Sut- ther that he believed, when the whole were ton became Archbishop of Canterbury and he copied, they would fill five carts more. The held the great office for twenty-three event- king told him that he need not get any more | ful years.-MICHAEL MACDONAGH, The Fort- ready till he had his further directions on nightly Review, August 1, 1902. the subject; the consequence of which was His majesty was told of a gentleman of that Sir Robert never heard a syllable more family and fortune in shire, who, far of papers from his majesty as long as he re- from taking the oath of allegiance to him, mained in office.-CLAUD NUGENT, "Memoir had never been known to name him or per- of Earl Nugent.” mit him to be named as king in his pres- Lord Chancellor Eldon has told the story ence. “Carry my compliments to him," said of his visit to Kew to obtain the assent of the king, "and say that I respect his steadi- George III. to certain measures. He was ness of principles; or, as he may not receive reading a list of the titles of the bills and my compliments as king of England, present explaining briefly their provisions when the them as those of the Elector of Hanover." king, interrupting him, said, “You are not | And he never after saw the gentleman from acting correctly. You should do one of two whom the anecdote is derived without in- things: either bring me down the bills for my quiring after the health of the venerable rec- own perusal or else say to me as Thurlow usant and reiterating his wish to be re- said to me on a like occasion. Having read membered to him.-Quarterly Review, Janu- several bills Thurlow stopped and said to me, ary, 1816, citing the Culloden papers. 'It's all damned nonsense trying to make you When a certain conceited peer, who pro- understand them and you had better consent fessed the right of appearing before royalty to them at once.'"--MICHAEL MACDONAGH, with his hat on, actually took advantage of Monthly Review, June, 1906. it and appeared hatted in the drawing room, George III. once adopted a decisive way George III. said, "It is true, my lord, that of filling up a vacancy in the archbishopric you may wear your hat in the presence of of Canterbury. On January 19, 1805, Dr. the king, but it is not usual to wear it in the Manners-Sutton, Bishop of Norwich, was giv- presence of ladies," at which he appeared ing a dinner party in the Windsor deanery much confounded.—CAROLINE Fox, “Jour- when his butler informed him that a gentle- nals," citing John Sterling. man wished particularly to see him, but Directions for coughing, sneezing or mov- would not give his name. "Well, I can't ing before the king and queen.-In the first come now in the middle of dinner,” said the place, you mụst not cough. If you find a bishop. “Beg pardon, my lord, but the gen cough tickling in your throat, you must ar- tleman is very anxious to see you on impor rest it from making any sound; if you find tant business," and the butler was so urgent yourself choking with the forbearance, you that the bishop apologized to his company must choke-but not cough. In the second and went out. The gentleman who would not place, you must not sneeze. If you have a be denied proved to be King George III. vehement cold, you must take no notice of it; "I low d'ye do, my lord ?” said he; "come to if your nose membranes feel a great irrita- tell you that you're Archbishop of Canter tion, you must hold your breath; if a sneeze bury-Archbishop of Canterbury. D'ye ac still insists on making its way, you must op- cept-accept? Eh-eh?” The bishop bowed pose it, by keeping your teeth grinding to- low in token of acceptance. “All right,” said gether; if the violence of the repulse breaks his majesty. “You've got a party--see all some blood vessel, you must break the blood their hats here. Go back to them. Good vessel-but not sneeze. In the third place, night-good night.” Next morning Pitt ap you must, upon no account, stir either hand peared at Windsor castle to inform his maj or foot. If by chance a black pin runs into esty that Archbishop Moore had died the day your head, you must not take it out. If the before and to recommend the appointment of pain is very great, you must be sure to bear George III. 238 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES it without wincing; if it brings the tears death of George the Second. The note was into your eyes, you must not wipe them off; brought to him while he was riding. He if they give you a tingling by running down showed no emotion; but, observing that his your cheeks, you must look as if nothing horse was lame, turned his head homewards; were the matter. If the blood should gush when he got off his horse he told the groom, from your head by means of the black pin, in a whisper, that he had said that his horse you must let it gush; if you are uneasy to was lame, and desired he might not be con- think of making such a blurred appearance, tradicted.-HORACE WALPOLE, “Memoirs of you must be uneasy, but you must say noth George III.” ing about it. If, however, the agony is very Lord Eldon told Miss Ridley, Lady El- great, you may, privately, bite the inside of don's niece, speaking to the archbishop, Dr. your cheek, or of your lips, for a little re- Charles Manners-Sutton, of his large family, lief; taking care, meanwhile, to do it so cau- "I believe your grace has better than a tiously as to make no apparent dent out- dozen?" "No, sire,” said the archbishop, wardly. And, with that precaution, if you "only eleven.” “Well,” replied the king, "is even gnaw a piece out, it will not be minded; not that better than a dozen ?”—HORACE only be sure either to swallow it or commit Twiss. it to a corner on the inside of your mouth till they are gone--for you must not spit. His majesty, having at one time pur- MADAME D’ARBLAY, “Diary and Letters." chased a horse, the dealer put into his hand a large sheet of paper completely written In the following year (1763), on August over. “What is this?” asked the king. “The 16th, a second son was born—the Duke of pedigree of the horse which your majesty has York, whose christening, fourteen months just bought," the dealer answered. “Take it after his birth, was attended by some curious back, take it back," said the king laughing; ceremonies. Within seven months the king- “it will do just as well for the next horse George III.-had appointed the infant Bishop you sell."--ROBERT HUISH. of Osnaburg, a promotion that caused some scandal as well as much angry contention The late celebrated mathematical in- with the chapter at Cologne, who contended strument maker, Mr. Ramsden, was fre. that the appointment lay with them. The quently deficient in punctuality and would dispute went on for some years, until it was delay for months, nay, for years, the delivery compromised through the mediation of the of instruments bespoken from him. His maj- great Frederick, and the young prince was esty, who had more than once experienced allowed to bear the title and revenues of his this dilatory disposition, once ordered an office. One loyal writer, Burgh, actually dedi instrument which he made Ramsden posi- cated a work “To the Right Reverend Father tively promise to deliver on a certain day. in God,” of three years old.-- PERCY FITZGER The day, however, came, but not the instru- ALD, “Life of George IV." ment. At l'ength Ramsden sent word to the There were, of course, no duties, but king that it was finished; on which a message then there was two thousand pounds a year was sent him desiring that he would bring it himself to the palace. He, however, an- till his royal reverence was eighteen, and swered that he could not come unless his twenty-five thousand pounds annually, which he enjoyed for the remainder of his life.- majesty promised that he would not be angry with him for his want of punctuality. “Well, Cornhill Magazine, April, 1864. well,” said the king, “let him come; as he is Nothing could equal the king's attention conscious of his fault, it would be hard to to seclude his son and protract his nonage. reprove him for it.” On this assurance he It went so absurdly far that he was made to went to the palace, where he was graciously wear a shirt with a frilled collar like that received; the king, after expressing his en- of babies. He one day took hold of this col tire satisfaction with the instrument, only lar and said to a domestic, “See how I am added good-naturedly, "You have been uncom- treated.”—HORACE WALPOLE, “Last Jour monly punctual this time, Mr. Ramsden, hav- nals.” ing brought the instrument on the very day of the month you promised it; you have only A trilling incident which occurred on | made a small mistake in the date of the year.” his accession showed the power he had ac- It was, in fact, exactly a year.--The Monthly quired over his countenance and manner. Magazine, February, 1820. He had arranged beforehand with one of his grandfather's attendants that a particular An amusing anecdote of one of these message or note should signify to him the royal concerts went the rounds of the pa- 239 George III. OF THE GREAT pers of the day. The party composed a quin- | the party “all standing," as the sailors say, tette under the direction of the king him by coming suddenly and unexpectedly to the self, who, whilst he sawed away at the bass end of his symphony. The princess, who viol, had no idea that it was possible to sur alone dared to speak, discovered that his pass him or the sounds he produced. The majesty had turned over two leaves at once; Princess of Wales presided at the harpsichord, the monarch, with the utmost composure, the Duke of Newcastle played the first vio turned back to the part he had played and, lin, the Duke of Devonshire the tenor, and the without uttering a syllable, set to work, rasp. facetious Philip Dormer the flute. It so hap ing away, followed by the other musicians, pened that the king had his own notions as who this time were in at the death with to time and tune; and, as his majesty per tolerable exactitude.-FRANCIS LANCELOTT, formed for his own amusement only, and pos "Queens of England.” sibly with the idea of gaining some instruc At Kew Palace there was a timepiece tion, he never scrupled to go over a passage highly prized by George III. One morning two or three times, or to take any liberties, the pedestal of this relic was found vacant or to make any blunders that seemed good to and the timepiece itself lying on the ground, him, without consulting or in any way a wreck. The king's displeasure was not warning the rest of the orchestra; it was, slight and immediate inquiries were institut- therefore, necessary for every member of it, ed. After many hours had elapsed, by mere whilst giving his eyes to his own music, to chance a question was put to Prince Edward. give his ears to the king's, and as rapidly as “I did it,” was the instant and unhesitating possible to follow the directions and eccen- reply. “But,” said one, anxious to screen tricities of the royal performer. On the pres- the pres. the intrepid boy, "your royal highness did ent occasion it became evident, however, that it by accident ?" "No; I did it intentional- this concert was going wrong, but the most ly.” “But your highness regrets what you acute of these select amateurs could not im- have done?” “No; not at all.” The prince agine where they were in error. The royal was punished, and not slightly.-CHARLES E. bass viol was proceeding on its course as PEARCE, “The Beloved Princess," quoting sedately as the march of an elephant; the Bishop Fisher. violin looked in vain, backwards and for- “Was there ever,” cried he, "such stuff wards, for several bars, to see where he could glide in, but could discover nothing resem- as a great part of Shakespeare? Only one bling what he heard; the tenor, knowing must not say so. But what think you? What? that there was a difficult passage just over, Is there not sad stuff? What? What ?” and being well aware of the royal practise “Yes, indeed, I think so, sire, but mixed with such excellences that- ” “Oh,” cried he, in regard to such, boldly went back and re- peated it; the harpsichord, seeing the time laughing good-humoredly, “I know it is not had been altered from fast to slow, slack- to be said, but it's true. Only it's Shake. ened its pace; and the flute, entertaining a speare and nobody dare abuse him.” Then he different opinion, went away at double enumerated characters and parts of plays he speed. Such a strange medley was never objected to; and when he had run them over, heard before; nevertheless, the king was seen finished with again laughing and exclaiming, leaning forward, with his eyes fixed on the “But one should be stoned for saying so.”— music, working away with the royal elbow, MADAME D’ARBLAY, “Diary and Letters." evidently too absorbed in his own perform- The king's early fancies soon passed ance to heed the confusion that distracted away, with one alleged exception. It is said the audience and made the other musicians that there was a lady of his court, of irre- feel extremely uncomfortable. It was not proachable character and singularly refined etiquette to notice the king's mistakes, or the personal beauty, one whom Horace Walpole youthful maids of honor would have laughed i calls “the picture of majestic modesty," for outright. The Duke of Newcastle, a studious whom he nourished an early passion, sup- courtier, knew not what to do; he played a pressed in middle life and almost forgotten few notes here and there, whispered to the until his lunacy brought her name constantly Duke of Devonshire, nudged Philip Dormer, to his lips. Even in some of his latest at- whose blowing had become desperate, he tacks (if the testimony of close personal ob- glanced at the book of the princess without servers can be credited) she was ever pres- obtaining any clue to the cause of the inex. ent to his imagination. It was a strange ex- tricable disorder; but still he played on, hibition of some of the most recondite weak- knowing that matters could not be worse nesses of human nature-touching or ludi- than they were. The king at last brought up crous, as the observer himself may be in- Goorg I. George IV. 240 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES clined—to hear the aged sufferer "haunted to offered to Lord Derby for Burgoyne, but the his last hour by the vain shadow of the latter, who had expected it before he had past," calling on her maiden name, when done anything to deserve it, had left instruc- both were tottering on the verge of the grave. tions with Lord Derby to refuse it. The -Quarterly Review, April, 1859. king, on receiving the account of the taking When his disorder began to show itself of Ticonderoga, ran into the queen's room, it is said that he announced his intention of crying, "I have beat them! beat all the Amer- addressing the houses of Parliament as "Vy icans!”-HORACE WALPOLE, "Last Journals." lords and peacocks." All remonstrance be- George III. in the heat of his animosity ing useless it is further said that a fall of against the Americans, had determined that books or other noises were contrived to the lightning conductors on Kew palace drown the queer word.-Notes and Queries, should have blunt knobs instead of sharp July 23, 1864. points. Franklin, the inventor of the con- One of the first signs of his coming mad ductors, had directed that the points should ness was one day when a large plate of be sharp, so that an overcharge of electricity blackbirds was on the royal table, covered might be dispersed silently and without ex- with a thick crust. When it was cut he plosion. ... The question of sharp and remarked, “How very extraordinary! How blunt conductors became a court ques. on earth did those blackbirds get into that tion, the courtiers siding with the king dish ?" He would not allow it to be served and their opponents with Franklin. The and had some clever philosopher sent for to king asked Sir John Pringle to take his side go into the matter.—JAMES GALLATIN, and give him an opinion in favor of the "Diary,” Scribner's Magazine, October, 1914. knobs. To which Pringle replied that the During the American Revolution laws of nature were not changeable at royal pleasure. It was then intimated to him by There was something ludicrous in the ex- royal authority that a president of a royal pressions of the king's political bigotry at society entertaining such an opinion ought times, as when, in the tone of Falstaff lament- to resign, and he resigned accordingly.-ED- ing over the degeneracy of the age, he writes WARD E, HALE, “Franklin in France." to Lord North complaining of the opposition in Parliament on American affairs: “It is 'He [the Duke of Somerset] told me that melancholy to find so little virtue remaining Sir John Pringle resigned the chair of the in the country.”—E. B. DE FONBLANQUE, Royal Society in consequence of a remark of “Life and Correspondence of John Burgoyne," George III. The king was talking to him of citing the North Correspondence by Donne. Franklin's discovery that the attraction of a One of the best and most intelligent art- pointed body is greater than that of a level ists, Samuel F. B. Morse, President of the or circular surface; and his majesty ex- National Academy, has mentioned to the pressed a wish to have it contradicted. "Sire,” writer an anecdote connected with this sub- said Pringle, "I cannot alter the laws of na- ject. He says that on one occasion, when he ture.” “Then,” replied the king, "you are entered Mr. West's painting room, long after not fit to be president of the Royal Society." the death of George the Third, he found the This was the way the duke told me the artist engaged in copying a portrait of the story, but I thought it almost too good to king and, as he sat at his work and talked be true.-LORD BROUGHTON, “Recollections." according to custom, “This picture," said he, When Mr. Fox was in the ministry dur. "is remarkable for one circumstance; the ing the American war and a plenipotentiary king was sitting to me for it, when a mes- had been appointed to the American states, senger brought him the declaration of Ameri- Fox asked the king if it would be agreeable can independence.” “It may be supposed that to him to receive the American minister in the question, 'How did he receive the news?' return. His majesty made a just and proper was asked. "He was agitated at first,” said answer, specifically adapted to the unfortu- West; "then sat silent and thoughtful; at nate situation of public affairs. “Mr. Fox, length he said, 'Well, if they can't be happy the phrase of your question rather surprises under my government, I hope they may not me. It cannot be agreeable to me, but I can change it for a worse. I wish them no ill.' ”. and do agree to it.” Fox himself related this -WILLIAM DUNLAP, “History of the Art of anecdote to the late David Hartley, acknowl- Design in the United States.” edging that his own phrase of "agreeable" An account of General Burgoyne being was indeed unsuitable and inconsiderate.- master of Ticonderoga. The red riband was | The Athenæum (Boston), March, 1821. 241 George III. George IV. OF THE GREAT "It may possibly turn out well for the mented with two rows of steel beads, five country, but as a gentleman I can never for thousand in number, with a button and get it.”-EDWIN HODDER, “Life and Work of loop of the same metal and cocked the Seventh Earl of Shaftesbury," quoting in a new military style. Could anything have George III. been more elaborate? One would think not until descriptions are found of his attire on GEORGE IV., 1762-1830. King of England. subsequent occasions. Thus we learn when It was on the 28th of October, 1769, that he took his seat in the House of Lords, he the Prince of Wales, then only in his seventh wore a black velvet suit, richly embroidered year, the Bishop of Osnaburg (the late Duke with gold, and pink spangles, and lined with of York), Prince William and the Princess pink satin, and shoes with pink heels à la Royal held their first drawing room; the lat. | Macaroni of an earlier era; while, to give ter was then only in her second year; and cer appropriate finish to his costume, his hair tainly it could only have entered into the was pressed much at the side and very full head of a German princess, who had been ac- frizzed, with two small curls at the bottom. customed to infantine drawing rooms, to But Prince Florizel was not yet at the end place the children of the king of England into of his resources and, to prove that in this such a truly ridiculous and anti-British situa matter he could out-Herod Herod he devised tion. The historians of those days informa costume for a Brighton ball that dazzled us that the young princes received the com all beholders. He made his appearance in pany with the utmost grace and affability; a velvet suit of dark color, with green stripes, but on the other hand, the caricaturists were embroidered down the front and at the seams not idle, for there is a caricature in exist with silver flowers; a waistcoat of white and ence, in which, in ridicule of these infan silver tissue, similarly ornamented; the rib- tine drawing rooms, the Prince of Wales is | bon of the Garter fastened with a shoulder made to enter the room with a kite on his knot of brilliants and the usual accessories of back, the Bishop of Osnaburg with a hobby the stars of various other orders.-LEWIS horse between his legs, Prince William is MELVILLE, "The Beaux of the Regency." spinning his top, and the Princess Royal is Expense was no object to him and, in- behind a screen receiving some very suitable deed, it must be confessed he spent money in assistance from her nurse. The ridicule with many worse ways than on his clothing. Bat- which these drawing rooms were received soon chelor, his valet, who entered his service induced the queen to discontinue them; and, after the death of the Duke of York, said indeed, her majesty found it a difficult mat- that a plain coat, from its repeated altera- ter to persuade either the Prince of Wales tions and consequent journeys from London or the Bishop of Osnaburg to attend them; to Windsor to Davison, the tailor, would and on one occasion, when the royal youths often cost three hundred pounds before it were engaged in a game of cricket, and were met with his approbation.-LEWIS MELVILLE, called upon to dress for the drawing room, "Some Eccentrics and a Woman.” they returned a message that the company were to wait until the game was over.- We can state it as a fact that a coun- ROBERT HUISI, "Memoirs of George IV.” cil was once held [about 1810] in Carlton Palace on the subject of trousers and panta- From his birth set in that long series loons, at which a certain marchioness pre- of portraits in which the figure and features sided, assisted by other ladies whose experi- of the young prince and maturer regent were ence in matters of that sort was never ques. portrayed on canvas. No one was painted so tioned by any one. The knotty point to be frequently. We are told that "soon after determined was (and it was agreed upon his birth the queen had a whole-length por- una voce) that there was an indelicacy at- trait modeled in wax. He was represented tached to the pantaloon, from which the naked. The figure was half a span long, trouser was in a great degree exempt. The lying upon a crimson cushion, and it was decision of the ladies in favor of the trouser covered by a bell glass. Her majesty had it was submitted to the approbation of the constantly on her toilet table at Buckingham Prince Regent, who, from a knowledge of the House.- PERCY FITZGERALD, "Life of George anatomical perfection of his form, requested the ladies to reverse their decision; but, His coat was pink silk, with white cuffs; contra, the ladies declared, it had been formed his waistcoat white silk, embroidered with after the most mature deliberation and the various-colored foil and adorned with a pro- closest inspection of the respective advan- fusion of French paste; his hat was orna- | tages and defects of the two modes of dress; IV." George IV. 242 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES H the prince, therefore, yielded and from that used, tending to imply the opinion that the moment the use of the pantaloon was prohib fair nun possessed no real pretensions to the ited in Carlton Palace and, consequently, character she had assumed. At last, some wherever fashion was supposed to predomi allusion having been made to the ladies of nate.-HUISH. Portsmouth Point, the choler of the sailor George IV. always carried a snuff-box, could no longer brook the indignity and a but it appeared to me as if his majesty took general row was the consequence. The con- snuff for fashion's sake. He would take the stables were called in and the disputants, in box in his left hand and, opening it with a posse, were marched off to the watch house, the Spanish grandee leading the way in all the right thumb and forefinger, introduce his glorious finery. On arriving in the pres- them into his costly reservoir of snuff, and ence of the constable of the night, the cul- with a consequential air convey the same to prits were called upon to declare their real his nose, but never suffered any to enter; indeed, those who were well acquainted with characters. The grandee unmasked, as did also the sailor. “Eh, William, is it you?” his majesty frequently told me that he took exclaimed the former. "Eh, George, is it snuff for effect, but never liked it, and al- lowed all of it to escape from his finger and you ?” exclaimed the latter. The sailor was thumb before it reached his nose. -REES no other than our present sovereign (William HOWELL GRONOW, "Recollections." IV]. The whole party burst into a loud laugh. The constable was confounded when In the month of April, 1784, his royal he saw the heir-apparent of the crown be- highness and three of his gay companions, fore him; he received a guinea and the par- elated with the bottle, were interrupted by ties retired to complete the follies of the the watch in a midnight frolic and, after a night.—HUISH. scuffle, overpowered and taken to the watch house on Mount street. The party were Mr. and Mrs. Lawrell spent part of the obliged to send for one of their tradesmen, last summer at Brighton; the Prince of who, on entering, started at the sight of the Wales was much in their company, doubtless prince. The constable and watchman, on dis- on account of Mr. Lawrell's agreeable con- covering the rank of their prisoner, pressed versation; it happened, however, one after- round him and hoped his royal highness would noon that Mrs. L. alone was of a party with not be offended at their having detained the Prince of Wales, Lady Beauchamp and him. The prince, who was only elevated some other fine people. Mrs. L., like a good with wine, exclaimed, “Offended ? my good wife, about nine o'clock said she must go fellows. By no means. Thank God, the laws home to her husband. The prince said he of this country are superior to rank; and and the party would come and sup with when men of high station forget the decorums them; the lady received the gracious invita- of the community, it is fit that no distinction tion with all the respect that became her and should be made in respect to them. It should hastened home to acquaint her husband and make an Englishman proud to see the Prince make preparation. Whether Mr. L. was more of Wales obliged to send for a tailor to bail or less sensible of the honor than his wife I him out."-B. C. WALPOLE, “Days of the don't know, but he said he should not come if Dandies.” he could help it and if he did come he should have nothing to eat; it was in vain that Mrs. At a masquerade at which the Prince of L. remonstrated, he continued inflexible and Wales appeared in the character of a Spanish she had nothing for it but to put him to bed grandee, accompanied by four of his squires, and write a note to Lady Beauchamp, inform- he paid particular attention to a nun, who ing her that Mr. L. was taken suddenly ill appeared to be under the protection of a and begging she would entertain the prince youthful sailor. The assiduities on the part of the grandee were unwelcome to the fair in her stead. Between one and two o'clock in the morning, when the party were pretty Ursuline, and the gallant tar threatened in- stantaneous chastisement if any further merry, the prince, whether he guessed at the provocation were given; the grandee, how- reason or was concerned for the indisposition ever, was not to be daunted, and he was very of his friend, said it was a pity poor Law. ably supported by his squires, who, boasting rell should die for want of help and they im- of the high and noble descent of their mas- mediately set about writing notes to all the ter, declared it to be an act of the greatest physicians, surgeons and apothecaries they condescension in him to hold parley with a could think of in the place, informing them common English sailor. Some high words as from Mr. L. that he was taken suddenly arose and some taunting expressions were | ill and begged their immediate assistance; 243 Georgo IV. OF THE GREAT these notes very soon set the medical body the road. In the meantime, the geese came in motion towards Mr. Li's doors; a few of waddling on and in a short time passed the the more alert apothecaries came first, but turkeys, whose party were all busy among the they were got rid of by the servants, who as trees attempting to dislodge the birds; but sured them that it was a mistake, that their further progress was found impossible and master and mistress were well and asleep and the geese were declared the winners. that they did not care to wake them. Soon A good specimen of his love of fun and after came Sir Lucas Pepys, who, declaring frolic is furnished by the story of his pres- that nobody would undertake to impose upon ent of the cream-colored Hanoverian horse to a person of his character insisted on seeing Admiral Nagle, at Brighton, who, delighted Mr. L. and was pressing by the maid to his at the gift, mounted the animal in the pres- bedchamber; she was then forced to awaken ence of the whole court to “try him.” Some her mistress and Mr. L., being very drowsy and disinclined to rise, his lady was obliged heavy showers washed off the paint which the prince had applied in the stable and the to appear in great dishabille and with the admiral to his astonishment presently found utmost difficulty persuaded Sir Lucas he was himself with a dark bay horse. His royal imposed upon and prevailed with him to re- master, after the enjoyment of the joke, took tire. During their dispute the staircase was care to present him with an animal of the filled with the rest of the faculty arriving in true color and breed.-PERCY FITZGERALD, shoals.—MARY GRANVILLE (Mrs. Delany), "Life and Correspondence.” "Life of George IV.” It was in this connection that he It was agreed that Sheridan [Richard acquired celebrity by his geese and turkey Brinsley) should accept the challenge, ap- pointing the following morning at daybreak wager with the prince. This singular trans- action is thus described: During one of the in Battersea Fields, and that Mr. Fox [Charles James) should be the bearer of the convivial parties at Carlton House, Mr. Han- ger designedly introduced the subject of the answer of Mr. Sheridan to the offended Major traveling powers of the turkey and the goose (Hanger)-Mr. Sheridan on his part under- taking to provide the necessary surgical and declared that the turkey would outstrip assistance. the goose. On the following morning The prince, who placed great re- liance on his judgment in subjects of this the parties were punctually on the spot; the major accompanied by Captain Morris, nature, backed his opinion. A match was made with Mr. Berkeley of twenty turkeys Mr. Sheridan by Mr. Fox, the Prince of Wales disguised as a surgeon, being seated against twenty geese, for a distance of ten miles; the race to be for five hundred pounds. in the carriage which conveyed the latter And as Mr. Hanger and the turkey party gentlemen. The customary preliminaries be- hesitated not to lay two to one in favor of ing arranged, the parties took their station; the bird, the prince did the same to a con- the signal to fire was given—no effect took place; the seconds loaded the pistols a sec- siderable amount, not in the least suspecting that the whole was a deep-laid plan to extract ond time--the parties fired again-still no ef- a sum of money from his pocket. The prince fect was produced. “Damn the fellow," said the major to his second, "I can't hit him.” deputed Mr. Hanger to select twenty of the “The third fire generally takes effect,” said most wholesome and high-feathered birds which could be procured; and, on the day Captain Morris, who with the utmost diffi- culty could keep his risible faculties in order, appointed, he and his party of turkeys, and whilst the prince in the carriage was almost Mr. Berkeley and his party of geese, set off convulsed with laughter at the grotesque to decide the match. For the first three hours motions of the major. The signal to fire was everything seemed to indicate that the tur- given a third time—the effect was decisive keys would be the winners, as they were then Mr. Sheridan fell, as if dead, on his back. two miles in advance of the geese; but, as “Killed, by God,” said Captain Morris; "let night came on, the turkeys began to stretch us fly instantly," and, without giving the out their necks towards the branches of the major time to collect himself, he hurried him trees which lined the sides of the road. In to the carriage, which immediately drove vain the prince attempted to urge them with away towards town. The prince descended his pole, to which a bit of red cloth was at- from the carriage, almost faint with laugh- tached; in vain Mr. Hanger dislodged oneter, and joined Sheridan and Fox, the former from his roosting place, only to see three or of whom, as soon as the major's carriage was four others comfortably perching among the out of sight, had risen from his prostrate branches; in vain was the barley strewn upon position, unscathed as when he entered the George IV. 244 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES field; for, to complete the farce, it had been the temerity to tell the duke that he had previously arranged that no ball should be | completely bowled over the French cavalry put into the pistols and that Sheridan was commanded by Marshal Ney. This was too to fall at the third fire. The prince with his much for the duke to swallow and he said, two associates drove off immediately to town "I have heard you, sir, say so before, but I and a messenger was sent to Major Hanger, did not witness this marvelous charge. Your desiring his immediate attendance at Carl royal highness must know that the French ton House. The major obeyed the summons cavalry are the best in Europe.”—REES How. and he entered the apartment of the prince ELL GRONOW, “Recollections." with a most dolorous countenance. “Bad I believe it is certain about George IV., business this,” said the prince, "a very bad that he had heard so much about the war, business, Hanger; but I have the satisfaction to tell you that Sheridan is not materially knighted so many people, and worn such a hurt and, if you will dine with me this day, prodigious quantity of marshal's uniforms, I will invite a gentleman who will give you çocked-hats, cock's-feathers, scarlet and bul. an exact account of the state in which your lion in general, that'he actually fancied that he had been present in some campaigns and, late antagonist lies. Remain here until din- ner time and all may yet be well.” The under the name of General Brock, led a tre- prince, from goodness of heart, and not wish- mendous charge of the German legion at ing that the major should have the painful Waterloo.—THACKERAY. impression on his mind that he had been the It is said that George IV. had only two instrument of the death of a fellow creature, classical quotations, one from Homer and one and one of the most convivial of their com- | from Virgil, which he constantly sported and panions, had imparted to the major the con- that on very slight provocation. The Vir. solatory information that his antagonist was gilian one ... he always gave with a ridic- not seriously injured; and the major looked ulous error.-Notes and Queries, August 17, forward to the hour of dinner with some 1889. anxiety, when he was to receive further in- Here is an anecdote of his royal high- formation on the subject. The hour came- the party were assembled in the dining room. ness I heard the other day from one who had "Now, Hanger," said the prince, “I'll intro- it at first hand in the days of the regency. duce a gentleman to you, who shall give you It has never yet, I believe, been in print. At all the information you can wish.” The door a small dinner party at Carlton House, opened and Sheridan entered. The major Colonel Hamlyn, one of the boon companions started back with wonder. "How, how, how of the prince, told a story which, like most is this?” he stammered; “I thought I had stories of the regency, was more distinguished killed you.” “Not quite, my good fellow," by its point than by its propriety. When Colonel Hamlyn had finished the First Gen- said Sheridan, offering the major his hand; tleman in Europe filled his glass and threw “I am not yet quite good enough to go to its contents into his guest's face, saying, the world above—and as to that below, I “Hamlyn, you're a blackguard.” What was am not yet fully qualified for it; therefore, I the colonel to do? To challenge the regent considered it better to defer my departure was treason and yet to return the insult in from this to a future period; and now I doubt kind was to take a course which must have not that his royal highness will give you an compelled the prince, as a gentleman, to chal- explicit explanation of the whole business- lenge the colonel, or to ask some one to take but I died well, did I not, Hanger ?” The up the quarrel for him. And yet to sit still prince now declared that the whole plot had was impossible. Colonel Hamlyn solved the been concocted by himself and hoped that difficulty by filling his glass and throwing the when the major next fought a duel he might wine into the face of his next companion. be in a coach to view it. Conviviality reigned "Ilis royal highness's toast-pass it on." for the remainder of the evening.-IIUISH. This was wit in action. It sealed Colonel The Duke of Wellington dined frequently Hamlyn's friendship with George IV. "Ham- with the Prince Regent, who, when he had lyn,” he said with a slap on the shoulder, finished his iced punch and a bottle of sher- “you're a capital fellow. Here's a toast to you.”—The Gentleman's Magazine, December, ry, began to be garrulous. The regent would 1870. Invariably talk about the battle of Waterloo and speak of the way he had charged the George IV. had spoken to me like a well- French with the Household Brigade; upon bred but easy-going prince; he was far from one occasion he was so far gone that he had l bitterness because he thought of other things. 245 Georg. IV. OF THE GREAT Nevertheless, it did not do to trifle with him beyond moderation. One of his table fel- lows (Beau Brummell] had wagered that he would ask George IV. to ring the bell and that George IV. would obey. George IV. did in fact ring the bell and said to the gentle. man-in-waiting, “Show this gentleman the door."-CHIÂTEAUBRIAND, "Memoirs.” On one occasion, however, at Holland House, he [Sydney Smith] was himself set down by the Prince of Wales, then prince re- gent. The conversation having taken the turn to discussing who was the wickedest man that ever lived, Sydney Smith, addressing himself to the prince, said, “The Regent Or- leans, and he was a prince.” The prince's answer was short, quiet and biting. Ignoring even his interlocutor's surname, he said, "I should give the preference to his tutor, the Abbé Dubois, and he was a priest, Mr. Syd- ney.”—PRINCESS MARIE LICHTENSTEIN, "Hol- land House." George IV., when prince regent, used to spend weeks at Holkham, and, as Coke says, "he called me Tom.” The Whigs all thought much of George IV. when he associated with Fox, Sheridan, etc. Lord — showed me a field which the prince regent insisted on galloping over, though Coke told him the sod would yield under the horse's feet. It did so and the prince and his horse tumbled head over heels. “We were all much fright- ened for fear of losing so fine a prince, but," said he, “in process of time we found that we had not saved so good a king after all.” After George IV. apostatised it is said that he was very anxious of revisiting Holkham and caused a communication to that effect to be sent to Lord L , then Mr. Coke. Coke sent him word that "Holkham was open to the public every Thursday.”—JOHN VAN BUREN, "Letters,” Scribner's Magazine, December, 1906. I immediately notified the king and the Prince of Wales; the last came immediately. I, according to the established etiquette, in- troduced (no one else being in the room) the Princess Caroline to him. She very proper- ly, in consequence of my saying to her that it was the right mode of proceeding, at- tempted to kneel to him. He raised her (gracefully enough) and embraced her, said barely one word, turned round, retired to a distant part of the apartment, and, calling me to him, said, "Harris, I am not well; pray get me a glass of brandy." I said, “Sir, had you not better have a glass of water?" Upon which he, much out of hu- mor, said with an oath, "No, I will go directo, ly to the queen." And away he went. The princess, left during this short moment alone, was in a state of astonishment; and, on my joining her, said in French, "My God! Is that the prince? lle is large, coarse, and by no means like his portrait.”... I said his royal highness was naturally a good deal af- fected and flurried at this first interview, but she certainly would find him different at dinner. She was disposed to further criti- cism on this occasion, which would have em- barrassed me very much to answer, if luckily the king had not ordered me to attend him. ... Asked how I liked this sort of man- ners I could not conceal my disapprobation of them and took this opportunity of re- peating to him the substance of what the Duke of Brunswick had so often said to me, that it was expedient de la tenier serrée; that she had been brought up very strictly, and if she were not strictly kept, would from high spirits and little thought certainly emancipate too much. To this the prince said, “I see but too plainly; but why, Har- ris, did you not tell me before, or write to me from Brunswick ?" I replied that I did not consider what the duke (a severe father himself towards his children) said of suffi- cient consequence; that it affected neither the princess's moral character nor conduct, and was intended solely as an intimation which I conceived it only proper to notice to his royal highness at a proper occasion-at such a one as had now offered; and that I humbly hoped his royal highness would not consider it as casting any real slur or asper- sion on the princess; that as to not writing to his royal highness from Brunswick, I begged him to recollect that I was not sent on a discretionary commission, but with the most positive demands to ask the princess Caroline in marriage and nothing more.— EARL OF MALMESBURY, “Diaries and Corre- spondence.” An old gentleman, long connected with the court, says that among those sent to escort the princess to England there was a lady of rank between whom and the prince something more than a strong liaison was suspected; that this lady persuaded the princess, when they stopped for lunch or other refreshments, to partake of some salad in which she had mixed a quantity of green onions. The consequence was that on ap- proaching to kiss his bride the prince was saluted by a breath redolent of an odor which he detested beyond measure.—Notes and Queries, January 15, 1867. Lord Castlereagh went into the study of George Iv. Gladstone 246 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES George IV. and said to him, “Sir, I come to of which (if it had a thread) he had entirely tell your majesty that your mortal enemy forgotten, or which perhaps his eagerness to is dead.” “What?” he replied, "is it possible serve Sheridan's cause prevented him from that she can be dead?” Lord Castlereagh was listening to with sufficient attention to take obliged to calm the monarch's joy by explain-| up where Sheridan had dropped it. Still by ing to him that he was not talking of the means of his auditor's occasional assistance, queen, his wife, but of Bonaparte.-COUNTESS he got on pretty well for a few minutes, when DE BOIGNE, “Memoirs." a question from Selwyn, as to the flat con- Lovers of long sums have added up the tradiction of a part of his royal highness's millions and millions which in the course of story to that of Sheridan, completely posed his brilliant existence this single prince con- him and he stuck fast. After much floun- sumed. Beside his income of £50,000, £70,000, dering to set him right, and finding all was £100,000, £120,000 a year, we read of three in vain, the prince burst into a loud laugh applications to parliament: debts to the and exclaimed, “Damn the fellow, to leave amount of £160,000, of £650,000; besides mys- me to finish this infernal story, of which I terious foreign loans, whereof he pocketed the know as much as a child unborn-but never mind, Selwyn, as Sherry does not seem in- proceeds.—THACKERAY. clined to come back, let us go upstairs and When Fox first became acquainted with I dare say Fox or some of them will be able Sheridan, he was so delighted with his com- to tell you all about it." They adjourned to pany and brilliant conversation that he be- | the club-room and Selwyn now detected the came exceedingly anxious to get him ad- maneuver.-HUISH. mitted as a member of Brookes' club, which The following he frequented every night. Sheridan was statement was taken frequently proposed, but as often had one down by Lady de Ros from the Duke of black ball in the ballot, which disqualified Wellington's lips in 1838: “George IV. him. At length, the balls being marked, the had, from the time he was quite a young hostile ball was traced to old George Selwyn, man, been in the habit of carrying about a stickler for aristocracy. Sheridan was ap- with him a douillette pocketbook, into which prized of this and desired that his name he used to put money, letters, trinkets, minia- might be put up again, and that the further tures and any of the numerous odd gloves, conduct of the matter might be left to him- locks of hair and similar keepsakes which self. Accordingly, on the evening that he he was always adding to his stock from all was to be balloted for, Sheridan arrived at quarters. As soon as his pocketbook became Brookes', arm in arm with the Prince of full, he used to put it away in a drawer Wales, just ten minutes before the balloting without ever troubling himself to examine began. Being shown into the candidates' its present contents or to take out whatever waiting-room, the waiter was ordered to tell money it might contain, mixed with the mis- Mr. Selwyn that the prince desired to speak cellaneous articles. Whenever he thus put with him immediately; Selwyn obeyed the away a full pocketbook, he took another to summons without delay, and Sheridan, to replace it from a great stock of new ones he whom he had no personal dislike, entertained kept by him, and this, as soon as that was him for half an hour with a political story, filled, was laid by and replaced in like man- which interested him very much, but which, ner. At the time of his death it devolved of course, had no foundation in truth. Dur upon the duke and another to examine the ing Selwyn's absence the balloting went on, personal effects of the king, and accordingly and Sheridan was chosen, which circum they had to look through the contents of a stance was announced to himself and the whole chest of drawers entirely filled with prince, by the waiter, with the preconcerted these pocketbooks, filled and stowed away by signal of stroking his chin with his hand, the king from the time he was a young man. Sheridan got up, and apologizing for an ab- When the duke first looked at one of them, sence of a few minutes, told Mr. Selwyn that and found the toys it contained, he was about the prince would finish the narrative, the to have the whole stock burned, but some catastrophe of which he would find very re money accidentally fell out, which led to a markable. Sheridan now went upstairs and careful scrutiny of others, and they actually was introduced to and welcomed by the club collected in various sums not less than ten and was soon in all his glory. The prince thousand pounds from these pocketbooks, in the meantime was left in no very enviable after which they caused them to be destroyed situation, for he had not the least idea of with their less important contents."--The being left to conclude the story, the thread | Eclectic Review, August, 1893. 247 George IV. Gladstone OF THE GREAT GLADSTONE, WILLIAM EWART 1809-1898 English Statesman SOURCES ARGYLL, DUKE OF, "Autobiography.” Munsey's Magazine. BADEAU, ADAM, The North American Re NEVILL, LADY DOROTHY, “Reminiscences." view. New Century Review. . Blackwood's Magazine. New York Evening Post. BRYCE, JAMES, “William Ewart Gladstone," OLDFIELD, SUSAN H., Longmans's Magazine. Fortnightly Review. Our Own Country. Christian Register, The. Quarterly Review. Conway, MONCURE D., “Autobiography and REID, WEMYSS, “Life of Gladstone." Memories." RICHARDS, JAMES BRINSLEY, Temple Bar. DAY, W. FREEMAN, Munsey's Magazine. RIDEING, WILLIAM H., “Many Celebrities DREW, MABY, Nineteenth Century and and a Few Others.” After. ROBBINS, ALFRED F., The Gentleman's Maga- FRASER, WILLIAM, “Disraeli and His Day." zine. HARRISON, FREDERIC, “Autobiographic Me RUSSELL, GEORGE W. E., London Graphic. moirs." SIDEBOTHAM, WILLIAM, Chambers's Jour. HOLYOAKE, GEORGE JACOB, “Bygones Worth nal. Remembering." SMALLEY, GEORGE W., "Anglo-American KEBBEL, T. E., “Lord Beaconsfield and Other Memories." Tory Memories." SMITH, GOLDWIN, "My Memory of Glad- Leisure Hour, The. stone." Lundon Church Gazette. STANMORE, LORD, Fortnightly Review. LYTTELTON, MAUD, Lippincott's Magazine. WEST, ALGERNON, “Recollections"; Nine- MACDONAGH, MICHAEL, Cornhill Magazine. teenth Century and After. Macmillan's Magazine. WORDSWORTH, BISHOP CHARLES, Fortnight- MELROSE, ANDREW, “Mr. Gladstone." | ly Review. Once, when young Gladstone was præ- | arisen for the boys to hustle the drovers and postor of his form, he had omitted to mark cut off the tails of the pigs. Gladstone gave one of his class fellows, who had been late. great offense by remarking that the boys who The birch was produced and Dr. Keate pre were foremost in this kind of butchery were pared to administer a flogging to young | the first to quake at the consequences of de- Gladstone, but before doing so he gave an tection and he dared them, if they were proud elaborate disquisition on the heinousness of of their work, to sport the trophies of it in a breach of trust. “If you please, sir," re their hats. On the following Ash-Wednesday plied the youthful sophist, “my præpostor- he found three newly amputated pigtails ship would have been an office of trust if I hung in a bunch on his door, with a paper had sought it of my own accord, but it was bearing this inscription, “Quisque amat por- forced upon me.” Dr. Keate was so struck cos, porcis amabitur illis; causa sit exemplum by the ready and ingenious answer that the ter repetita tibi.” Gladstone wrote under- intended flogging was abandoned.-MELROSE. neath a challenge to the despoilers of the It used to be customary for a boy on his pigs to come forth and take a receipt for their offering, which he would mark in "good promotion to the fifth form to give a supper round hand upon your faces”; but the states- in his room, and afterwards to recite a satir- ical ode, passing comment on all the other man, who in his seventy-fourth year fells trees for amusement, was already as a boy fellows in his boarding-house. These pro- a tough foe to deal with and his invitation ductions were often very coarse, for it was met with no response. It would be pleasant an understood thing that the authors were if one could add that after this the pigs never to be molested by those whom they had a better time of it, but their miseries abused. Gladstone in his fifth form poem only ceased when the Ash-Wednesday fair eschewed all personalities, but conveyed his opinion with great vigor on some of the was abolished under Dr. Hawtrey. causes rife in the school, and particularly on William Gladstone and his sister Mary the cruelties that used to be practised on disputed as to where a certain picture ought pigs at the Eton fair that was held every to hang. An old Scotch servant came in Ash Wednesday. A barbarous custom had | with a ladder and stood irresolute while the Gladstono 248 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES argument progressed; but as Miss Mary ticular arrow that dusk came on and we had would not yield, William gallantly ceased to relinquish the search. The next morn- from speech, though unconvinced, of course. ing as I was dressing I saw through my The servant then hung up the picture where window William ranging the field and prod- the young lady had ordered; but when he ding into every tuft of grass with a stick. had done this he crossed the room and nam He had been busy in this way for two hours mered a nail into the opposite wall. He was and at length he found the arrow just be- asked why he did this: “Aweel, Miss, that'll fore breakfast. I remarked that he had do to hang the picture on when ye'll come wasted a good deal of time. 'Yes and no,' roond to Master Willie's opeenion.” said he; 'I was certain the arrow could be found if I looked for it in a certain way He was a regular attendant at morning and I failed several times by trying shorter chapel in the cathedral, but the practise methods. When I set to work in the proper as to chapel-going was looser in those times fashion I succeeded.'”-RICHARDS, Temple than it became afterwards, and once it did Bar, May, 1883. happen that, somehow having missed several “chapels” in succession, Gladstone was or As we were walking on the ramparts one dered by the censor to write out a hundred evening after dinner we persuaded Mr. Glad. lines. Now the censor would probably not stone to smoke a cigarette, but it was a have inflicted this punishment task if he had terrible failure. Tobacco to him was an thought that Gladstone would write the lines abomination. Only once again did he at. himself. It was a tolerated custom that tempt it and this was an instance of his lines should be bought of the scouts at the courtesy: for when the Prince of Wales was rate of half a crown per hundred, so that dining with him and wished to smoke, he the punishment was another way of fining a placed the prince at his ease by at any rate man two and sixpence. The actual writers lighting a cigarette. From the time when, of the lines were generally servitors, who a boy at Eton, he persuaded a friend to did them-one is almost ashamed to say throw away the accursed weed, to the last for a shilling the hundred, thus leaving the days of his life, he had a horror of it. In scout, the middleman, a proſit of one hun- later years he accused me of smelling strong- dred and fifty per cent. on the transaction. ly of tobacco. “I don't wonder," I said, Gladstone's scout, hearing of his little trouble, "for I have been sitting for half an hour in brought him a pæna, as a matter of course, Sir William llarcourt's room.” “Does Har. and was much surprised when the student court smoke ?” he asked, in a voice of hor- answered, "It will do me no harm to write ror; "if so, he must be very careful to change the hundred lines.” Having said this, he his clothes before he comes to me."-WEST. wrote them, and in his best hand too. The I can well remember at Fasque in 1847, incident deserves to be mentioned because when, after explaining his own principles on it provoked some controversy at the House. the subject, he (Gladstone's father] remarked, The implication that it was dishonest to pointing to his son, who had withdrawn buy a pena instead of writing it, was scout- from the discussion, but was still within ed by the young gentlemen who were freer hearing, “But there's my son William, ruin- with their half-crowns than with their pen- ing the country as fast as he can.”—BISHOP manship, and it seems that the morality WORDSWORTH, Fortnightly Review, July, which prevailed in this respect half a century 1883. ago is that which still subsists in these our times. He never got over his distaste for the Establishment and I was amused in later "At Fasque," says his friend already years by his involuntary coolness and re- quoted, "we often had archery practise and straint in his manner in speaking to, or of, the arrows that went wide of the targets any of its ministers. Beyond this little would get lost in the long grass. Most of us would have liked to collect only the arrows weakness, arising from some of the most indelible associations of his early years, I that we could find without trouble and then think his mind was singularly open and free begin shooting again; but this was not Wil- liam's way. Ile would insist that all the from prejudice in the discussion of religion. -DUKE OF ARGYLL. arrows should be found before we shot our second volleys and would marshal us in The principal subject discussed was the Indian file and make us tramp about in the revision of the New Testament which had grass till every quiver had been refilled. been just given to the world. The prime Once we were so long in hunting for a par- | minister was exceedingly interested in the 249 Sladstone OF THE GREAT theme. He is learned in his Greek, as every I remember a dinner party at which he one knows, and quoted the original text was seated beside a member of the Vander- freely. He was entirely opposed to the re- bilt family. The conversation had turned vision and offered to lay five pounds that it upon the price of real estate in the city of would never be authorized to be read in the London and the enormous value of land in churches. I was amused to hear him offer a the neighborhood of the Bank of England. wager and on such a theme and said so to "You have nothing like that in New York, his daughter. She told me she had never Mr. Vanderbilt," said Mr. Gladstone, turning known him to make a bet but once and that to the distinguished American; "great as was that Disraeli would be a peer before him New York is the value of its land is a trifle self.—BADEAU, The North American Review, compared to the value of land in the city June, 1886. of London." Mr. Vanderbilt acquiesced and We have heard that both Mr. and Mrs. | modestly named the highest figure at which Gladstone attribute much of his health to he knew land to have been sold in his native the fact that he will have his Sabbath to city. “I beg your pardon,” said Mr. Glad- himself and his family, undisturbed by any stone instantly; "you are mistaken; that is of the agitations of business, the cares of not the highest price.” And forthwith he gave the astonished millionaire more than state, or even the recreations of literature and scholastic study.—The Leisure Hour, one case in which sites in New York had been sold for still larger sums than those 1833. that he, who might be presumed to have He would be ever saying, “You know more than a passing acquaintance with the more of that than I can pretend to know," subject, had named.—REID. eager to learn, to listen, to acquire or im- part knowledge on every conceivable topic From his own record we know that two under the sun.-HARRISON. of the books that took the strongest hold on him were “The Pilgrim's Progress” and At a dinner party some one made refer-|| the “Arabian Nights.”—MARY DREW, The ence to the fact that the asparagis season Nineteenth Century and After, June, 1906. would soon begin. “It has begun already," said Mr. Gladstone, “but only the very rich To the end Mr. Gladstone lived by a or the very foolish can enjoy it at present. time table, and the days were rare when The best asparagus is sold to-day for two he made any variation from it. Immediate- pounds a bundle.” Mrs. Gladstone, who ly after luncheon he retired to his library was present, was moved to say, "How car for about an hour, not to work, read or rest you possibly know that? I am sure we have himself, but to humor Mrs. Gladstone while bought none." "No, my dear," was his in- she took a nap, which she could not do when stant reply, "but when I see a new thing in he was absent. the shops I always like to inquire the price, He strongly objected to typewriting on and I went into a shop in Piccadilly this the ground that not only was it more difficult morning and asked what the remarkably fine for him to read than any fair hand, but asparagus they had in the window was sell- also because it interposed, as he claimed, a ing at.” mechanical veil between the sender and re- "I remember,” further observed the ceiver of the letter. Dingwall companion of Mr. Gladstone's His prejudices were undoubtedly strong child-life, “we were one day standing to- and in some instances even insuperable, but gether watching the operation of potato- I find it hard to believe what Dean Farrar, planting, and we fell to discussing the proper now dead, once said of him to me: “He distance that should be given between the has always stood between me and preferment. plants. We argued the subject out to our And do you know why? Simply because, own satisfaction and, when he had pumped meeting him once at dinner, I could not all the information possible on the point agree with him as to some of his opinions from me, I was highly amused to see him of Homer.”_WILLIAM H. RIDEING, “Many take from his pocket a memorandum book, in Celebrities and a few Others," copyright, which he made a note of all the information Doubleday, Page & Co. he had gained on the subject. This note- book he called into requisition very often, The man who has caused “local option" jotting down scraps of information gained and “union of hearts," "silver streak” and from day to day and making memoranda of "bag and baggage," "resources of civiliza- the most commonplace subjects.” tion” and “parliamentary hand” to pass into Gladstone 250 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the every-day language of British newspaper- the times, and how public men could now dom deserved the credit that fairly may at I go unguarded everywhere, whilst he was sit- tach to the achievement.--ROBBINS, The Gen ting at the dinner table with two detectives tleman's Magazine, January, 1896. provided by Scotland Yard in order to watch A decent burial, he ventured to suggest over him, standing in the room, whilst anoth- er was upstairs ready to mix with the guests -not cremation, but interment-for books unsuitable for daily companionship; among at the party which was afterwards to be given. The Grand Old Man's two guardians these, finding in them little sociability, he would have included his "Hansards” [Par- at the dinners were dressed as footmen, one liamentary Reports).-MARY Drew, The standing immediately behind his chair, whilst the other took up a position directly Nineteenth Century and After, June, 1906. opposite on the other side of the table.--- I remember his [Lord Balfour] describ LADY DOROTHY NEVILL. ing a comic incident which happened, I think in his own house, and in which Mr. and On a certain night, a few sessions ago, Mrs. Gladstone were the chief figures. The one of the brotherhood (of reporters) was statesman and his wife were going upstairs seated on the stairs leading from the lobby from the hall. In the hall two or three to the peers' gallery in the House of Com- housemaids were peering around the corner mons ruminating on the lack of political to get a sight of the great man, and when news when Gladstone happened to come Mrs. Gladstone saw them she called down down the stairs unobserved by him. “Will to her husband, “Bow, William, bow,” which you kindly allow me to pass?” said the accordingly he did with his usual affability. premier, as he then was, to the pensive jour- -KEBBEL. nalist. He jumped up and stood aside and Gladstone passed on with a gracious nod of In Parliament recognition. The incident, trifling though A gifted though somewhat erratic poli it was, inspired the lobbyist with that with tieian used to tell how he once fared when which he most stood in need, a good half he had risen in the House of Commons to column of political information. Going censure some act of the ministry. “I had straightway to the telegraph office he sent not gone on three minutes when Gladstone off a message to his paper: "Meeting Mr. turned around and gazed at me so that I Gladstone this evening in the lobby, I had a had to sit down in the middle of a sentence. brief but profoundly interesting conversation I could not help it. There was no standing with him," etc., etc. The half column of his eye."--BRYCE. conversation that followed contained noth- ing that was really new. It was merely a He [the fifth Earl of Spencer] felt the recapitulation of the views recently ex- magic power of Mr. Gladstone and in answer pressed by Mr. Gladstone on current political to a remark about Mr. Gladstone's influence questions; but, served up in the vivid form he once said: “If you have ever been alone of an interview, it was accepted as an im- in a room with Mr. Gladstone for half an portant political communication from the hour you would not ask me why I followed premier and was accordingly widely quoted him."-SMALLEY. in the press. Its authenticity was never There is a back way out of the House denied by Mr. Gladstone as it in no way mis- of Commons by which it is possible to get on represented his opinions.—Macmillan's Mag. to the Thames embankment, the view from azine, July, 1895. which over the river is always striking, and It is literally true that Mr. Gladstone most so just before sunrise, when the morn- has left an indelible mark in the House of ing stars flame up above St. Paul's cathedral Commons. Upon the table between the two and the sky reddening over the city begins "front benches," upon which sit the leaders to redden the broad stream beneath. By this of the opposing parties at Westminster, there way he used to pass out late at night, elud- are always set two brass bound oaken des- ing the vigilance of the police, and enjoy a patch boxes. Each of these bears indenta- solitary stroll under the stars before return- tions caused by the Grand Old Man's signet ing to his house, indifferent to the dangers ring-witnesses to the tremendous force with which others feared for him.- BRYCE, Fort- which he used to bring down his clenched nightly Review, January, 1902. fist upon the boxes, when speaking from Mr. Gladstone was very often unaware the government side of the table or from of the measures taken for his personal safety. | that of the opposition.-Munsey's Magazine, I remember his talking about the safety of | January, 1897. 251 Gladstone OF THE GREAT 1902 Joseph Hume, who sat below him, wore doubt whether there is a postmaster in Eng- a hat with a rather broad brim; the hat | land who, after reading the letter, would had a long nap and was a peculiar head- understand one word of it."-Blackwood's covering; it appeared to be too large for his Magazine, July, 1907. very large head. His aspect was that of in- He has arrived at that point in his tense solemnity and almost supernatural career when he asserts his claim to be above honesty. ... Ewart had made a very effec- all rules. He has a special license to do tive speech; he had appealed to all that was and say anything he thinks proper. He may, great, and noble, on the earth; he raised his and does, put words into the mouth of any eyes to heaven; he asked posterity to do him other public man; and, when he is called justice, etc., etc. Unfortunately, having upon to verify his imaginary quotation, he moved the house by his harangue, while stoutly refuses to do so. “I say that so-and- emphasizing the very last sentence, he so used these words--therefore he did.” This brought his fist down with a crushing blow was actually the course he took in the House upon Hume's hat. The effect was instan- of Commons on September 20th, when he at- taneous: the large hat descended below tributed to Lord Salisbury language which Hume's chin and his heavy, unintelligent fea- that nobleman never used, and, being called tures were completely obscured.-FRASER. upon by many members to “quote," he dog- The tories never made a greater mis- gedly replied, “No; I will not quote.” Re- take than the ejection of Gladstone from ferring to this daring misrepresentation Lord his Oxford seat. By sending him from Ox Salisbury remarked on the 22nd of Septem- ford to Liverpool, they, to use his own ber (at St. Albans): “I said nothing of the phrase, unmuzzled him. It is true, I believe, kind. Parliamentary courtesy will not allow that on the day of his rejection the Bible fell me to express in as strong language as I out of the hands of James I. on the gate should like to use the contradiction which tower of the Bodleian, an omen of the these statements demand.” No one in public separation of the church from the state. life is so reckless as Mr. Gladstone in attrib- The stone being very friable, the fall was | uting language to his opponents which they not miraculous, although it was curiously apt. never used, or in twisting their words into -SMITH. a signification they were never intended to It is not generally known that in early have.-Quarterly Review, October, 1886. life Gladstone, owing, I believe, to an acci- His Favorite Amusement dent while out shooting, lost the forefinger of his left hand and consequently he always He accounts for his fondness for tree fell- wore a piece of black silk (which was kept ing by the completeness of mental rest that in position by two pieces of narrow tape of this form of exercise affords. It is an under- the same color fastened around his wrist) taking which gives no time for thinking of over the stump. No matter how carefully anything but the point at which the next the piece of silk had been fixed, it had, in stroke should fall. “As the chips fall this consequence of its awkward position, to be way and that,” remarks one of his biograph- repeatedly adjusted; and often, when in the ers, "Mr. Gladstone is as profoundly absorbed midst of his greatest flights of oratory, and in laying the ax at the proper angle at the when the House was electrified by his bril- right cleft of the trunk as ever he was in liant periods, Mr. Gladstone could be seen replying to the leader of the oppositi carefully adjusting this piece of silk.--SIDE the course of a critical debate.”-DAY, Mun- BOTHAM, Chambers's Journal, December 23, | sey's Magazine, August, 1892. 1899. It is a matter of notoriety that Mr. Once upon a time it was in 1845- Mr. Gladstone delights in wielding the ax and Gladstone was minded to resign. According in performing the rough manual labor of the ly he wrote to Sir Robert Peel, marked the common woodman. He has here abundant letter "secret," and by a characteristic per materials on which to exercise his skill, and versity sent it open to the minister. As Sir if the visitor arrives at a favorable moment Robert said, "it might have been read in he may perchance see a tree several feet in every post office through which it passed." diameter which has been felled by one of the Graham's (Sir James, “Life and Letters”] | most intellectual men of the time; or view comment upon this adventure is wisely ap. the prime minister of England, with shirt- posite. "Gladstone's omission to seal such a sleeves rolled up, engaged in lopping timber letter," says he, "was most unfortunate, but or cutting firewood, for Mr. Gladstone is in the enigmatical style has its advantages. I no way ashamed of his pursuits, and has even Gladstone 252 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES had himself photographed stripped to the glass which happened to be the nearest. On shirt whilst engaged at his work. His axes, one occasion, Mr. Gladstone, who had re- which are said to exceed thirty in number, freshed himself in his usual haphazard way, many of them costly presents from ardent inveighed against the practise of mixing admirers, are, however, too sacred to be ex drinks. It was respectfully pointed out to hibited and are amongst the few things at him that he had been guilty of this very act; Hawarden which are not open to the public but he explained, to his own satisfaction, gaze.-Our Own Country, 1882. that to mix wines was to fill up half a glass of champagne from the porter decan- In the management of the woods at ter.-MacDONAGH, Cornhill Magazine, Sep- Hawarden I thought him too destructive, but tember, 1898. this was partly due to his eagerness in the personal handling of the ax.-DUKE OF He had a Spartan theory about pain be- ARGYLL. ing more a matter of imagination than of Mr. Gladstone never cuts down a tree actual physical torment. “As to toothache," for the sake of exercise. A doubtful tree he one day exclaimed, "I am sure a de- is tried judicially. Sometimes its fate hangs termined fellow could resolve not to feel it.” in the balance for years. The opinion of the Then, suddenly conquered by the humorous family is consulted, and frequently that of aspect of his own statement, he added, "At visitors. Mr. Ruskin sealed the fate of an least he might resolve that about another man's toothache.”-RICHARDS, Temple Bar, oak; Sir J. Millais decided that the removal of an elm would be a clear improvement. May, 1883. The trees at Hawarden are treated as pre Gladstone told amusing anecdotes. One cious gifts of nature with which no human pleasantry was of one of Lord Lyttleton's hand should deal rashly.-RUSSELL, London sons, who was very tall and lank. He being Daily Graphic, October 25, 1890, quoting “an in Birmingham and wishful to know the inhabitant of the parish.” distance to a place he sought, asked a boy There is a story in the Gladstone family in the street how far it was. “Oh, not far," how Mr. T. P. O'Connor, M.P., the well- was the assuring but indefinite answer. known journalist and after-dinner speaker, “But can you not give me some better idea once went for the day to Hawarden, looking of the distance?" Mr. Lyttleton inquired. forward no doubt to an epoch-making con- “Well, sir,” said the lad, looking up at the versation. Mr. Gladstone took him for a obelisk-like interrogator before him, "if you walk round the park and came back griev. should fall down you would be half way ously disappointed. “I always heard O'Con- there.”—HOLYOAKE. nor was a well-informed man,” he observed I remember that at a big garden party at with a shake of his head, “but he took no Campden Hill there was a Punch and Judy interest whatever in trees.”-MAUD LYTTEL- set up on the lower lawn to amuse the chil- TON, Lippincott's Magazine, November, 1904. | dren. There stood Gladstone, laughing and open-mouthed, as delighted as any boy or Humor and the Lack of It girl of them all. Opposite to him were Mr. Gladstone was seated just above us, Disraeli and Montagu Corry-to whom the looking—as he always does before making creator of "Peace with honor” seemed, by a great speech-pale, nervous and anxious. his look of contempt, to be saying, “They At his right on the table stood the usual call this a statesman.”—HARRISON. tumbler of sherry and egg, at which he took occasional sips during the chairman's re- In the ordinary acceptation of the phrase, marks. Suddenly the Irishman looked up at | Mr. Gladstone might be described as wanting him, caught his attention and said, “Misther in humor, but he certainly was not deficient Gladstone, will ye give us a dhrop of that?” in the rapier-like skill which he employed in Not moving a muscle, with serious, earnest the brightest of badinage (or may I call it expression, as if he meant every word he said, chaff?) in the House of Commons.-WEST. Mr. Gladstone replied, “Sir, if you were up Gladstone's lack of humor raised more here you would want it all.”—New Century laughs than other people's humor. I heard Review, May, 1898. him speak on the reduction of the tax on It is said to have been his habit to let pepper, and he ensouled pepper that it seemed the wines which were served in the course to be flying about the hall, and one must say, of a dinner mobilize at his elbow and dur- | "Pepper for the masses !” An Oxford pro- ing a pause in the conversation to seize the fessor told me that just before a formal 253 Gladstone OF THE GREAT meeting of the faculty of Lincoln College it The Lord Chief Justice of England was learned that Gladstone was on a visit | doubted some of the marvels of Mr. Glad- to the master of Christ's College. They stone's really wonderful memory and once, wished to have him at the meeting and get hearing a story of Gladstone's early years, a speech out of him, but the difficulty was he determined to improve upon it. So he that they had no subject to discuss. But , said that he remembered when he was only one professor remembered that there had been six months old, and lying in his cradle, he some question whether about twenty old saw his nurse surreptitiously help herself books that had always been on a shelf in a to a glass of brandy and said to himself, corridor should not be removed to the library “As soon as I can speak, shan't I tell my and they resolved to make that motion, mother?” “The thing is absolutely impos- though quite unimportant, as an excuse for sible," was Gladstone's comment, in his grav- getting up a discussion. Gladstone came est tone. The Lord Chief Justice said after- with his host and took the discussion se wards that he had been beaten because he riously. “Gentlemen," he said, “it was re reckoned on Mr. Gladstone's having a gleam marked by the distinguished professor who of humor. “I was mistaken,” he said sadly. raised this important discussion that he did —The Green Bag, May, 1907, quoting The not wish to take the responsibility of chang | Christian Register. ing the location of these volumes without receiving an order from the entire faculty, The Grand Old Man and it seems that the faculty hesitate to take On the fall of Lord Beaconsfield's govern- the responsibility. Gentlemen, there have ment in 1880 a friend, not the writer, who been times when the faculty of Lincoln Col wished to spare Mr. Gladstone (who had lege has assumed great responsibility, and I not yet any private secretary available) trust that it is still prepared to assume great some of the trouble of writing notes and send- responsibilities when changes become neces ing messages, asked if he could in any way sary. We live, gentlemen, in times when help him. The answer was, “Pray," a most emergencies arise”-and soon proceeded characteristic reply, showing the feeling Gladstone with solemn periods for fifteen deepest in Mr. Gladstone's mind.-STANMORE, minutes about a matter which the profes Fortnightly Review, July, 1898. sors presumed would bring out some witty After his operation for cataract by Dr. anecdotes, but had not expected to afford Nettleship, something, through his own care- them just the kind of amusement received.-- lessness, it must be admitted, went wrong. CONWAY. On his realization of this his first words I have heard him speak of ... the ex were, “I am so sorry for Nettleship."-WEST, travagance of American humor. He carried | The Nineteenth Century and After, January, in his .memory a varied stock of examples of 1910. the latter, and laughed like a boy over A wretched creature, who found him lis- them as he repeated them, especially over the story of the Bostonian who, when he tening to and relieving a tale of woe, threat- ened to "expose” him, unless he paid black- was asked what he thought of Shakespeare, mail. Mr. Gladstone sprang like a lion upon said, "He was a great man. I don't sup- his assailant, handed him over to the police pose there are ten men even in Boston who and in the full consciousness of his own in- could have written Shakespeare's works." nocence faced the publicity which many And over the boastful clerk who, when told weaker men would have striven to shirk.- by the employee of another firm that its cor- REID. respondence involved an expenditure of five thousand dollars a year for ink, replied, E. answered that he thought it was less “That's nothing. Last year we stopped dot coarse for “vice lost half its evil there by ting our i's and saved ten thousand dollars losing all its grossness." Mr. Gladstone by that alone.” answered that that was almost the only foolish thing Burke ever wrote.-OLDFIELD, "There is only one thing for which I Longmans's Magazine, July, 1898. could give them an appropriation," he said, "and that would be an appropriation for the The story was current that Gladstone enlargement of Bedlam.” He gurgled with | had bought the whole contents of a toy shop laughter as he said this and quickly added, and ordered them to be sent to his house. "And I know what they would have said, This came to me once in so circumstantial a 'And you are the first man we shall put form that I asked Lady Russell whether in it.'"-RIDEING, | she thought it could be true. Her answer Gladstone Gordon, “Chinese" 254 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES was, “I begin to think it is, for I have heard left London for Berlin, did the leather mer- it every session for ten years."-SMITH. chant tell him that he owed his credit ac- count to none other than Mr. Gladstone. I happened to be in church one Sunday The cabinet minister had been in the Whisper- morning when Mr. Gladstone came in; it was ing Gallery when the poor shoemaker had a church he attended very rarely, so he was been telling his betrothed of his poverty and, quite unexpected. He had much difficulty in owing to the peculiar acoustics of the gal- finding a seat, for it was a free and open lery, had heard every word that had been church and apt to crowd up dreadfully. A said.--New York Evening Post, July 9, 1898, curate deacon, whom we all loved, but whose quoting British Weekly Correspondence. forte was not preaching, happened to be in the pulpit and caught sight of the prime GODIVA, Lady, about 1045. minister as he hurried in and looked around The legend of Leofric and Godiva is, I re- for a chair. It was about his first sermon gret to say, wholly a myth. It was impos- and, nervous before, this quite upset him. sible that she should have ridden through This Mr. Gladstone quickly perceived and, Coventry, for the same reason that, according picking up his hat and umbrella, he scurried to an old song, prevented Guy Fawkes from to the top of the church and, finding a seat crossing Vauxhall bridge on his way “to among the children, sat through the whole perpetrate his guilt." Coventry was not in long sermon with his hand to his ear, paying existence at the time. There is, however, the most marked attention to every word. some foundation for the legend. Godiva was This gave the curate--I am sorry to say he is a lady possessing vast wealth, with which since dead-more courage, but after service she determined to found and endow an ab- Mr. Gladstone took an opportunity of thank bey. This she did, “stripping herself of all ing him.-New York Evening Post, June 2, she had," and hence the legend. Coventry 1898, quoting a letter in the London Church gradually rose round the abbey and had no Gazette. streets, and consequently no tolls, until Lady A plain wreath of oak leaves was sent Godiva had been dead at least a century.- through the British consul at Berlin in the Rev. J. G. Wood, “Waterton's Wanderings hope that it might find a place on Mr. Glad- in South America,” biography of Waterton. stone's coffin. The sender was a Berlin shoe Of the existence of Godiva, indeed, no maker, who at one time owed his success in | doubt exists, since she appears (as Godeva) business to the Grand Old Man. About in Domesday Book as one of the great land- twenty years ago this shoemaker came to owners in Warwickshire. But the legend it. London and established a small workshop, self does not rest on good authority, since but in spite of industry and strict attention none of the chroniclers mention it before to business he continued so poor that he did Roger de Wendower, who wrote in the reign not even have money enough to buy leather of King John. ... As for the Peeping Tom for work which had been ordered. One day story, that Mr. Bloxam has demonstrated to he was in the Whispering Gallery in St. be very improbable, if not actually impos- Paul's cathedral with his betrothed bride, sible. According to the “Norman Survey." to whom he confided the sad condition of his taken nearly thirty years after Earl Leofric's affairs and the impossibility of their mar death, there were only sixty-nine houses in riage. The young girl gave him all her small Coventry; and “if we take the Bayeux tapes- savings, with which he went next day to try as our guide in delineating the habita- purchase the required leather, without know tions of the commonalty, we shall find them ing, however, that he was followed by a gen to be mere wooden hovels of a single story, tleman commissioned to make inquiries about with a door, but no windows. If there were him. The shoemaker was not a little sur no windows, the windows clearly cannot have prised when the leather merchant told him been shut, nor can any Tom have got into he was willing to open a small account with trouble by peeping out of one of them. Con- him. In this way did fortune begin to sequently we may well surrender the legend smile upon him and soon to his great aston | unconditionally."-COUNTESS OF WARWICK, ishment he received orders from the wealth “Warwick Castle and Its Earls.” iest circle in London society and his business became so well established that he was able GORDON, Charles George (“Chinese”), 1833- to marry and to have a comfortable home 1885. English general. of his own. He was known in London for It is told of him that when a child at years as the "Parliament Shoemaker,” but Corfu, where his father held a command, his only when, to please his German wife, he | terror of guns of all descriptions was ex- 255 Gladstone Gordon, "Chinese" OF THE GREAT treme, and that he would hide his head any A woman called on him one day with where to escape the sound of firing. It was a piteous tale. Gordon went to his bedroom no test of pluck. The sailors used to en-| to get half a sovereign for her, and while he courage him to throw himself into the sea was away she took a fancy to a brown over- when they were swimming round the ship, coat, which she hastened to conceal under and with perfect confidence he would leap | her skirt. Gordon returned, gave her the towards them, utterly fearless. But at money and she left with a profusion of Woolwich most of his early years were thanks. While on her road home the coat passed. Fine opportunities lay to his hand slipped down and attracted the notice of a as a lad, when he had the run of the gun policeman, who demanded an explanation. carriage department, nor was he slow in She said, “I took it from the Colonel," and turning them to account. A carpenter made was marched back to him to identify his him a huge cross-bow, with which no fewer property and charge her with the theft. than twenty-eight squares of glass were When Gordon heard the story he was far broken at extreme ranges one Sunday after more distressed than the culprit and refused noon. Nor would matters have ended here, to comply with the constable's repeated re- in all probability, had not an infuriated off quests to charge her. At last a happy thought cer brought things to a climax when a screw came to his relief. Turning to the woman stuck into the wall of his room, just missing he said with a twinkle in his eye, “You his head as he sat reading. A squirt was wanted it, I suppose?” “Yes," repeated the next constructed for him by one of his friends astonished woman. Then, turning to the in the yard; it held a quart of water, and equally astonished policeman, he said, “There, would throw a jet on to the windows of the there, take her away and send her about her cadets' lecture room, which it was his high business.”—D. C. BOULGER, "Life of Gordon.” est ambition to get within the line of fire. He was, however, an assiduous tract dis- He used to describe the long chase one of tributor, in a quiet way. Any one who next them had after him, till a friendly turning trod the same path when the colonel had in the fortifications—whose every nook and walked from one fort to another, as he some- corner was familiar to him, just hid him in times did, would generally find a sprinkling time to escape. of tracts on the way, all so placed that they He had many a story in after days to tell could not be mistaken for stray paper de- of men and their manners in somewhat irri posited by wind or chance. If there were a tating times, when boundaries had to be laid stile to get over, a tract would be on the down, nor did his observations end there. top bar, kept in place by a heavy stone; if With a spice of irony and fun he used to the footpath were narrow, another tract describe the effect on the very storks which would be found in the middle of it, secured built on roofs beneath which suspicious heads in the same way; others would be seen hung were playing the diplomatic game of chess. on any nails that might project from fence In one of their nests a goose egg was placed or wall, or wrapped round gate handles or during the absence of the old bird. Gordon bars, all so ingeniously placed that no one went on to relate: On her return she said could fail to see that they had been put nothing, but made the best of it. Sad to there purposely. At one fort a powerful say, as the gosling developed, the poor stork | telescope was kept, through which the actions was driven to dreadful shifts to save him of those at the next fort-a mile and a half from the public gaze, but all to no purpose. distant-could be watched; and I fear it was There was a terrible to-do in the whole col very frequently used, when the colonel left ony. First one mother stork would come on foot, to count up the tracts which he dig. and satisfy herself as to the common rumor posed of on the way.--ARTHUR STANNARD, by personal inspection, and then another, till Nineteenth Century, 1885. they stood in rows, looking daggers at the It was while leading his men to the as. unfortunate mother of the monstrosity. sault that Gordon saw the head of a small Finally a solemn conclave was held at a Chinese boy disappearing beneath the mud distance and, apparently being for once of and frog-spawn of the ditch, and, for all any one mind, they all returned and, pulling the one cared, amongst the frogs he would have wretched gosling out of the nest, despatched ended the seconds that were left to him of him forthwith. You could almost hear them life. Making a long arm, Gordon caught the saying, “This sort of thing will never do; child's small pig-tail, pulled him out and sent who knows what he will grow up to?”-- a man to the rear with him, giving him strict Quarterly Review, April, 1885. orders to see to the boy and produce him at Gordon, “Chinese Grammont, Chevalier 256 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES night. We cannot spare space to relate the be a wonderful tree.” Many times during history of this poor little mud-lark, after- the voyage, in conversation during the even- ward named Quincey, and well known now ing, Gordon would revert to his pet theory. in China, but it is one that, with variations, But, though he would sometimes become was repeated again and again in different quite eloquent on the subject, his arguments parts of the world all through Gordon's life. hardly persuaded the other occupants of the When the friendless and he met, and there cabin; the captain, a sound-headed Scotch- was a pound left of his pay, that pound soon man, “thinks to himself that if the theory found its way into a channel which led to is a correct one, then Eve must have ex- another's good. — The Quarterly Review, perienced considerable difficulty in getting April, 1885. the 'apple' conveyed to her husband.” In connection with this eccentric idea, so firmly He began at the beginning and did not believed in by Gordon, let me mention a leave off until the boy he had rescued from peculiar and somewhat remarkable incident, the gutter had found his billet on board ship as given in the captain's own words: “One or in a situation. Nor did his interest end evening," said the master of the Scotia, “I even with the safe placing of the boy in em- was working on deck when, in his usual polite ployment. "In his sitting room,” writes one manner, the general came and asked me to who knew him intimately (Sir Gerald Gra- give him a hand in moving a large trunk ham, “Last Words with Gordon”), “Gordon marked 'Stationery,' which had up to this had a big chart of the world, with pins stuck time occupied a place in his room. He in it, marking the probable positions of the merely wished its position reversed—that is, different ships in which his kings (as he its address side turned towards the wall, called them) were sailing. He thus followed so that he would not, as he said, see the them in his thoughts and was able to point imposing word 'Stationery' meeting his eye out their whereabouts to their friends when every time he ascended to the deck or de- they came to inquire about them."-WILLIAM scended from the deck to the cabin. He did F. BUTLER, "Charles George Gordon." not yet tell me what the mysterious box According to the diary the general pos. contained, but, some days later he informed sessed one theme on which he specially delight- me that he wished to put its contents into ed to speak. Under date of April 8 appears less space and respectfully asked me to help the following somewhat remarkable passage: him. The case was after some difficulty “The general was very talkative this even opened; and judge of my surprise when, in- ing, explaining to us his pet theory, viz., that stead of books and papers, as I expected, the Seychelles Islands, which are situated there met my eyes a great number of equally to the northeast of Madagascar, are the site cut pieces of wood, arranged with the great- of the Garden of Eden. He gave many est possible care and almost filling the large reasons for thinking so—one being that there box. The general perceiving my surprise, is a tree found there that is not to be found speedily explained to me that this was a in any other part of the world. This he is treasure he prized more highly than all his confident is the Forbidden Tree. It is called other personal belongings, 'for,' said he, sud- the Coco-de-Mer, or ‘nut of the sea,' and has denly becoming serious, this is the wood of many peculiarities. The nut is shaped like the Coco-de-Mer, the Forbidden Tree. I a heart, but, with its husk taken off, it is heard,' he continued, 'that there was at one like a man's body from the chest to the time seen in Mauritius a chest of drawers knees. To raise a tree, he explained, a nut made of this wood and, though its discovery is laid on the ground and covered with cost me a protracted search, I at last came leaves. By and by a shoot comes out and across it in a second-hand upholsterer's shop. runs along the ground and when about I paid a good price for the old and rickety twelve feet long it takes root. The root is piece of furniture and, depend on it, I would in the form of a bulb four feet in diameter. not have lost the opportunity of possessing The tree itself grows to a height of one hun a quantity of this most valuable of woods- dred feet and is only about nine inches thick. not for any sum.'"-WILLIAM H. SPENCE, It is forty-seven years old before it bears The Contemporary Review, February, 1990. any fruit and its nuts grow even in a bunch from the end of the extended arm, each At this time Gordon was certainly not a weighing perhaps forty pounds. They take misogynist, but I am sure that the rumors seven years to ripen. The leaves are twenty that he had met with an early disappoint- five feet long and fourteen feet broad and ment in love are quite baseless of truth. can bear a man's weight. It must, indeed, | From a very early period of his life, cer- 257 Gordon, "Chinese" OF THE GREAT Grammont, Chevalier tainly before the Crimea, Gordon had made there was quite a tone of regret that ever up his mind not to marry, and was in the “the delicious, calm, dreamy feeling" came habit of going even further and wishing to be broken up by nature's stern decree himself dead. This sentiment led him con that he must come to, rally, and finally- stantly to refer to himself as the “dead man," though long before his doctors would give and some years later he wrote, “There is a their sanction-buckle to and fight as hard Miss — here, the nicest girl I ever met; as ever.—The Quarterly Review, April, 1885. but don't be afraid, the dead do not marry.” His own secret opinion seems to have been GRAMMONT, Philibert, 1621-1707. French that marriage spoiled both men and women. general. The Khedive fixed his salary at ten The famous Count Grammont was thought thousand pounds a year, but Gordon abso- to be the original of Molière's “Le Mariage lutely refused to accept more than two thou Forcé.” This nobleman, during his stay at sand a year, the same sum he received for the court of England, had made love to Miss his post on the Danube. Various reasons Hamilton, but was coming away to France have been given for this decision, but there is without bringing matters to a proper con- no ground for supposing that it was due to clusion. The young lady's brothers pursued such a very narrow-minded prejudice as "that him and came up with him near Dover, in he would take nothing from a heathen.” If order to exchange some pistol shots with him. he ever used those words, they must have They called out to him, “Count Grammont, been intended as a joke and are not to be have you forgot nothing at London ?” “Ex- accepted seriously.-BOULGER. cuse me,” answered the count, guessing their Unquestionably Gordon's dread of notice errand, “I forgot to marry your sister; so was carried to an extreme: he would never lead on and let us finish that affair.” By the admit that there was a certain stage when pleasantry of the answer, this was the same a man's name and fame might be allowably Grammont who commanded at the siege of public property. It was a pain to him to a place, the governor of which capitulated feel that he might so descend from the ob- after a short defense, and obtained an easy scurity he loved as to be mentioned in news capitulation. The governor then said to papers; and we remember that one gallant | Monsieur Grammont, “I'll tell you a secret officer positively offended him, because he —that the reason of my capitulation was took occasion to inform the public years ago that I was in want of powder.” Monsieur that “Chinese Gordon” had gone to Egypt replied, “And secret for secret-the reason as Governor-General of the Soudan under Is for granting such an easy capitulation was mail. “I have nothing much in this world,” | because I was in want of ball.” __“Biographi- he said; "surely I may have my own name ca Gallica," quoted in Scott's edition of the left me as private property.”—Quarterly Re- | “Grammont Memoirs." view, April, 1885. He had a great number of medals for Louis XIV., playing at tric-trac, dis- puted a throw with his opponent; the by- which he cared nothing. There was a gold standers were appealed to and could not de- one, however, given him by the empress of cide the cause. It was referred to Gram- China. But it suddenly disappeared; no one mont, who, from the further end of the knew where or how. Years afterwards it was gallery, declared against the king. “But you found out by a curious accident that Gordon have not heard the case,” said Louis. “Aye, had erased the inscription, sold the medal sire," replied the count, "if your majesty for ten pounds and sent the sum anonymously to Canon Miller for the relief of the suffer- had but a shadow of right, would these gen- tlemen have failed to decide in your favor ?” ers from the cotton famine in Manchester.- EGMONT HAKE, “The Story of Chinese Gor- When the "Memoirs of Grammont” were don." subjected to the examination of Fontenelle, The singular and almost loving view of then censor of the Parisian press, he refused death which clung to him to the end was to license them, on account of the scandalous strongly marked. At the storming of Kin- | conduct imputed to Grammont in this party tang he led several desperate assaults him at quinze. The count no sooner heard of this self, and finally fell with a ball through the than he hastened to Fontenelle, and, having thick of his right thigh. He once described joked him for being more tender of his repu- the sensations which came over him as he tation than he was himself, the license was was carried fainting to the boat from loss of instantly granted.- Scott's notes to the blood and in a most dangerous condition; | “Grammont Memoirs.” Grant 258 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES GRANT, ULYSSES SIMPSON 1822-1885 American General and President Times. SOURCES AMMEN, ADMIRAL DANIEL, The North HEADLEY, Rev. P. C., "The Boy Hero." American Review. HOAR, GEORGE F., Scribner's Magazine. Atlantic Monthly. King, CHARLES," "The True Ulysses S. BADEAU, ADAM, “Grant in Peace.” Grant." CHILDS, GEORGE W., "Recollections of Gen. LONGSTREET, GENERAL JAMES, New York eral Grant”; Lippincott's Magazine; Phila- delphia Press. MacDONAGI, MICHAEL, Cornhill Magazine. CONWAY, MONCURE D., “Autobiography and MCLAWS, GENERAL LAFAYETTE, New York Memories." Times. COPPEE, HENRY, “Grant and his Com Mosby, John S., Munsey's Magazine. paigns." PARKER, ELY S., McClure's Magazine. CRANE, JAMES L., McClure's Magazine. PORTER, HORACE, McClure's Magazine; DANA, CHARLES A., “Life of Ulysses S. Harper's Magazine. Grant.” RICHARDSON, ALBERT D., "Personal His- DEPEW, CHAUNCEY M., New York World. tory of U. S. Grant." FRY, JAMES B., The North American Re- TIFFANY, Rev. 0. H., Sermon. view. TUCKERMAN, CHARLES K., Magazine of GARLAND, HAMLIN, McClure's Magazine. American History; "Personal Recollections GRANT, JESSE R., New York Ledger. of Notable People.” GRANT, U. S., "Personal Memoirs." WATROUS, A. E., McClure's Magazine. GREGG, CHARLES F., New York Sun. Wilson, GENERAL JAMES G., “Life and IIANNAH, HENRY J., McClure's Magazine. Campaigns of General Grant." Harper's Magazine. World, New York. baptized Hiram Ulysses Grant. . . . Con- founding the name Ulysses with that of his younger brother he (Congressman Thomas L. Hamer] asked the Secretary for the appoint- ment of Ulysses Simpson. ... In vain, after reaching West Point, did Ulysses attempt to get his own baptismal name substituted. Red tape argued that the appointment must be right and red tape proved too much for him. He could only acquiesce in the name.--Rich- ARDSON. Naming the Baby I give you the origin of our illustrious boy's name, in the language of his father, who wrote me about it: “The maternal grandmother was quite a reader of history and had taken a great fancy to Ulysses, the great Grecian hero who defeated the Trojans by his strategy of the wooden horse. She wished the child named Ulysses. His grand- father wanted to have him named Hiram. So both were gratified by naming him Hiram Ulysses. When I wrote to Mr. Ilamer, then a member of ('ongress from our district, to procure the appointment of cadet, he wrote to the war department and gave his name as Ulysses S. Grant. And we could not get it altered. Simpson was his mother's maiden name. We had a son named Simpson and Mr. Hamer confounded the two names. We regarded it as a matter of little consequence and so let it stand.”—Rev. P. C. HEADLEY, On a slip of paper each (Grant's family when he was six weeks old) wrote the name which he or she preferred and deposited it in a hat. The hat was shaken and then an aunt, with head turned aside, drew forth a slip. It bore the name Ulysses. . . . After wards, in deference to the grandfather's wish, another name was prefixed and the lad was It seems that when his father solicited his appointment as cadet he designated him as Ulysses and that the member of Congress who made the nomination, knowing that his mother's name was Simpson, and perhaps had a son also named Simpson, sent in the name of Ulysses S. Grant instead of Hiram Ulysses Grant. As a matter of course the cadet warrant was made out in the exact name of the person nominated and, although the young candidate might have written his true name on the register when he presented him- self for admission, it would probably have re- sulted in his suspension till the warrant of appointment could be corrected. Fore- seeing this trouble and wishing to avoid it, he entered the academy as Ulysses S. Grant, and trusted to getting his name set right at 259 Grant OF THE GREAT some future day. This, however, he did not Magazine, December, 1896, quoting letter succeed in accomplishing, but in order that from Henry J. Hannah. there should be nothing lost on that “It was a small animal show and circus," score his classmates and comrades, looking said Judge Marshall, “and one part of the en- about for a suitable nickname, gave him the familiar appellation of “Sam,” which was tertainment was to turn a kangaroo loose in the ring and ask some lively-footed boy to often expanded into “Uncle Sam." Since ar- catch it. I considered myself a pretty good riving at the age of manhood he has not re- runner in those days and I tried to catch garded the S in his name as having any the kangaroo to the vast amusement of the signification whatever.-DANA. people looking on. Ulysses, however, was a His father tells us that his name was plump boy, and not a runner. He made no Hiram Ulysses, but that his cadet warrant attempt at the kangaroo, but was deeply in- was made out for Ulysses Sidney; that he terested in the trick pony, which had been accepted the name while at West Point, only trained to throw off any boy who attempted changing it to Ulysses Simpson, in honor of to stride him. He was a very fat bay pony his mother, when he graduated.-COPPEE. with no mane and nothing at all to hang on to. Ulysses looked on for awhile, saw He found himself registered as Ulysses several of the other boys try and fail, and Simpson Grant and sought through proper at last said, “I believe I can ride that pony." military channels to have it changed to the He anticipated the pony's attempts to throw Hiram Ulysses of his birth. But the initials him off, by leaning down and putting his given him by Mr. Hamer appealed to the arms around the pony's neck. The pony authorities of Uncle Sam at Washington and reared, kicked and did everything he knew to Sam Grant he was destined to remain. unhorse Ulysses, but failed; and at last the Grant was never formally baptized until clown acknowledged the pony's defeat and late in life and then, by his own choice, as paid the five dollars which he had promised the boy who would ride the pony. As Ulysses Ulysses S. He would not take the full name turned away with the five dollars in his of Simpson, which was borne by his younger brother, but elected to be baptized as he had hand, he said to the boys standing around, 'Why, that pony is as slick as an apple.'”-- been so long and well known to the nation. GARLAND, McClure's Magazine, December, -KING. 1896. Experience with Horses "Well,” said Mr. Lincoln, "when Grant In the matter of Grant's famous horse started for Richmond last spring and said trade with Mr. Ralston, the version most he 'was going to fight it out on that line current shows great acuteness on the part if it took all summer,' I made up my mind of the boy, in that, after telling Mr. R. all that, like the old coon which Captain Scott that his father had told him how to go about aimed at, Lee would have to come down." the trade, he bought the horse for the mini He then added, turning to me and laughing, mum price of forty dollars. The version that “Colonel, did you ever hear the story of Grant himself repeats in his "Memoirs", is Grant at the circus?" "No, sir.” “Well, I one which says that the boy, in his stupidity think," said the president, “that's the best in telling just how much he would pay, had thing I ever heard about him. It seems when to pay fifty dollars, when really the farmer's he was ten or twelve years old a circus price was only forty dollars. Nelson Water- company came along and Lys, as the boys man, who says he was working in a field called him, went. Whether he got a quarter near Ralston's when the boy came down to out of the old tanner and paid his twenty- make the trade, says that there really was five cents--and I rather guess he didn't-or no trade. When the boy told all that his crawled in under the canvas, as I did when father had said to him—that if he could a youngster, I don't know for certain. Well, not buy the colt for forty dollars, to pay they had a pony or mule in that circus so forty-five; if he couldn't buy for forty-five trained that nobody could ride him without dollars, to pay fifty dollars-Ralston was dis | being thrown, although a dollar was offered gusted with the boy's lack of business ability —and this was a big sum of money out west and would not make any sale to him; sent in those times—to any one who should hang him home, in fact, to his father without the on while he went round the ring a few times. colt and with some good fatherly advice. Several tried, but they were all shaken off. This accords with the current stories of The audience thought that that fun was over, Grant's early stupidity.-GARLAND, McClure's / when in stepped Lys, took off his cap and Grant 260 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES coat and said, “I'll try him. He got on afterwards be induced to teach a horse to and hung on, until almost around the ring pace.-DANA. three times, when he slid off over the animal's One afternoon, in June, 1843, while I head like all the others. Not in the least was at West Point, a candidate for admis. disheartened, he jumped up and, as soon as sion to the military academy, I wandered in- he got the tanbark out of his eyes and to the riding hall, where the graduates of mouth, he said, 'I should like to try that the riding class were going through their mule again,' and amid the cheers of the final mounted exercises before Major Rich- spectators away they went. But this time ard Delafield, the distinguished engineer, then Lys faced to the rear, coiled his legs round superintendent, the academic board and a the critter's body and held on by the tail. large assemblage of spectators. When the The mule tried in vain, with head down and regular services were completed, the class, then by standing on his hind legs, to shake still mounted, was formed in line through him off, as he had done before, but it wasn't the center of the hall, the riding master any sort of use; there Grant stuck like grim placed a bar higher than a man's head and death and came off victorious. Just so he'll called out “Cadet Grant!” A clean-faced, stick to Richmond. As Mrs. Grant says, slender, blue-eyed young fellow, weighing 'He's a very obstinate man.'”_WILSON. about a hundred and twenty pounds, dashed Once, when he was a boy, a show came from the ranks on a powerfully-built chest- along in which there was a mischievous pony, nut-sorrel horse and galloped down the op- trained to go around the ring like lightning posite side of the hall. As he turned at the and he was expected to throw any boy that further end and came into the straight attempted to ride him. “Will any boy come stretch across which the bar was placed, the forward and ride this pony?" shouted the horse increased his pace, and, measuring ringmaster. Ulysses stepped forward and his strides for the great leap before him, mounted the pony. The performance began. bounded into the air and cleared the bar, Round and round and round the ring went carrying the rider as if man and beast had the pony, faster and faster, making the been welded together. The spectators were greatest effort to dismount the rider. But breathless. "Very well done, sir,” growled Ulysses sat as steady as if he had grown "old Hershberger," the riding master, and the to the pony's back. Presently out came a class was dismissed and disappeared; but large monkey and sprang up behind Ulysses. Cadet Grant remained a living image in my The people set up a great shout of laughter memory. ... I was in General Grant's room and on the pony ran, but it all produced no on the 25th of May, 1885. ... Though effect upon the rider. Then the ringmaster brave and cheerful, he was almost voiceless. made the monkey jump up on Ulysses's Before him were sheets of his forthcoming shoulders, standing with his feet on his book and a few artist's proofs of a steel shoulders and with his hands holding on to portrait of himself made from a daguer. his hair. At this there was another and reotype taken soon after his graduation. He still louder shout, but not a muscle of wrote my name and his own upon one of Ulysses's face moved. There was not a the engravings and handed it to me. I said, “General, this looks as you did the first tremor of his nerves. A few more rounds time I ever saw you. It was when you and the ringmaster gave it up; he had come across a boy that the pony and the monkey made the great jump in the riding exercises of your graduation." "Yes,” he whispered, could not dismount.-JESSE R. GRANT, father "I remember that very well. York was a of U. S. Grant, New York Ledger, March 7, wonderful horse. I could feel him gathering 1868. under me for the great effort as he ap. One of his father's friends had a fine | proached the bar. Have you heard anything young horse which he wished to use as a rid- lately about Hershberger?” I replied, “No; ing horse, but he could not teach him to pace. I never heard of him after he left West Knowing Ulysses's unwillingness to set about Point years ago." "Oh,” said the general, such a task as this for hire, he engaged him "I have heard of him since the war. He to carry a letter to a neighboring town, and, i was in Carlisle, old and poor, and I sent as the lad was riding away, called out to him a check for fifty dollars."-FRY, The him, “Please teach that colt to pace.” North American Review, December, 1885. Ulysses returned the horse that night a per- During our residence at the capital I fect pacer, but, having ascertained that the heard a "horse story" about Grant, which letter was simply a sham, he could never | has not appeared in the books, but which is, 261 Grant OF THE GREAT at least, true. He was an admirable horse- knew 'Hail to the Chief'; he did know, or man and had a very spirited horse. A Mexi- thought he knew, 'Yankee Doodle.' ” My can gentleman, with whom he was on friend friend, Robert C. Winthrop, says in a recent ly terms, asked the loan of his horse. Grant | letter: "Your allusion to his insensibility to said afterwards, "I was afraid he could not music, and to the saying of Governor Fish, ride him, and yet I knew if I said a word recalls General Grant's remark to me, when to that effect the suspicious Spanish nature I was sitting next to him at a concert at would think I did not wish to lend him." | Baltimore at the Peabody Institute. "Why, The result was that the Mexican mounted Mr. Winthrop, I know only two tunes. One him, was thrown before he had gone two is “Yankee Doodle" and the other isn't.'”— blocks and killed on the spot.-COPPEE. CHILDS. The Mexicans were in the habit of bring- It was a frequent remark of his that he ing in wild horses, which they would sell did not know one tune from another, except for two or three dollars. These horses came “Yankee Doodle," "America” and “The Star- near costing more than one officer his life. Spangled Banner." I recollect in 1870 once One day a particularly furious animal was dining informally with him and his family brought in. Every officer in the camp had in the White House. He had just been to declined to purchase it except Grant, who | Philadelphia and while there had been per- declared that he would either break that suaded to attend an opera given at the horse's neck or his own. He had the horse Academy. My wife asked him how he had blindfolded, bridled and saddled and, when enjoyed it. He replied that he did not know. firmly in the saddle, threw off the blind, I He had heard a great deal of noise, and had sunk his spurs into the horse's flanks and seen a large number of musicians, most of was soon out of sight. For three hours he them violinists, sawing away upon their in- rode the animal over all kinds of ground, struments. Here he exemplified by imitating through field and stream, and when horse with the carving knife and fork the actions and rider returned to camp the horse was of a violinist, and added that the noise they thoroughly tamed.-GENERAL LONGSTREET, | made was deafening, unintelligible and con- New York Times, July 24, 1885. fusing to him.-PARKER, McClure's Magazine, The heavy rains had swollen the Gravois May, 1894. to abnormal size and the frail bridge which He enjoyed all the religious services of spanned it was nearly submerged with a the church, excepting the singing, having a wild and turbid flood. As they approached it | constitutional inability to appreciate music. Miss Dent grew apprehensive and said, “Are He told me that all music seemed to affect you sure it's all right?” “Oh, yes; it's all him as discord would a sensitive and culti. right," Grant replied man-fashion to woman vated ear and that he would go a mile out kind. “Well now, Ulysses, I'm going to of his way rather than listen to the playing cling to you if we go down,” Miss Dent said. of a band; and when the hymn to be sung “We won't go down,” he replied and drove consisted of four stanzas he experienced a across, while the frightened girl clung to his feeling of relief as each one was sung and arm. She released her hold as they reached so disposed of.-Rev. 0. H. TIFFANY, Ser- the other side of the bridge and he drove | mon, Madison Avenue M. E. Church, New on in thoughtful silence for some distance. York, July 26, 1885. At length he cleared his throat and said, One day, while sitting in his bedroom “Julia, you spoke just now of clinging to me in the White House, where he had retired to no matter what happened. I wonder if you would cling to me all my life?” This was a write a message to Congress, a card was great deal of imagery for a man with eight brought in by a servant. An officer on duty generations of New England ancestry behind at the time, seeing that the president did him. The answer was favorable.-GARLAND, not want to be disturbed, remarked to the servant, "Say that the president is not in." McClure's Magazine, February, 1897. General Grant overheard the remark, turned Characteristics round suddenly in his chair and cried out to the servant, "Tell him no such thing. I He had no fondness for music, nor could don't lie myself and I don't want any one he remember a tune or note, with perhaps the to lie for me."-PORTER, McClure's Magazine, single exception of “Hail to the Chief,” which he had heard so often during and after the May, 1894. war. His old friend, Hon. Hamilton Fish, There was a slight tinge of superstition writes to me: “I do not think the general | in his composition. I remember hearing him Grant 262 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES say that he would never turn back if he could possibly avoid it, and he illustrated the remark by telling me of an incident that occurred when he was a boy living in the country. He had started on horseback to go to a mill and while musing had passed by the road that led to it; instead of retracing his steps he drove a long distance around, so that he could reach the mill without going back.- CHILDS. (General Grant tells of this inci- dent in his "Personal Memoirs.") One started the talk on clairvoyance, tell. ing many remarkable stories. General Grant listened and finally broke the ice of his re- serve to tell of his experience in St. Louis. He said that when he was coming into the city one day, in passing the negro quarters, he noticed a sign of "Fortune Telling Here,” and went in to find an old negress. She looked at his hand and shuffled the cards, "and everything she told me has come true so far," said General Grant, and then was stolid and silent again.-CHAUNCEY M. DE- PEW, New York World, July 27, 1885. While on duty at Cold Harbor I was detailed to take some despatches to Grant's tent. I was then a lieutenant and for the purpose of making a favorable impression I put on my most showy uniform, with plenty of gold trappings and lace. When I saw Grant he was sitting in his tent in his shirt- sleeves with an old slouch hat on and the rest of his clothes looking rather seedy. The men round him were dressed in an equally careless manner. When I was leaving Grant asked my name and said, "You must have got up rather early to be dressed up as you are this morning.”—GREGG, New York Sun, July 26, 1885. His strongest and almost only oath, if oath it can be called, was the queer old Vir- ginia expression, "Dog-gone it.” This seemed to tickle his fancy and he would rip it out with an earnestness that was intensely amus- ing.--New York World, July 24, 1885. We used to have great fun among each other over one hobby of the general's. He disliked showy accoutrements, but took a decided pride in being well mounted and was quite touchy at the idea of any staff officer attempting to outdo him in the way of horse- flesh. He claimed that his nag Egypt was the fastest horse in the outfit and, although some of us had good and sufficient reason for doubting it, we took precious care not to un- deceive him.- New York World, July 25, 1885. In the long days of our stay in Louisiana and Texas we frequently engaged in the game of brag and five-cent ante and similar diver- sions. We instructed Grant in the myster- ies of these games, but he made a poor player. The man who lost 75 cents in one day was esteemed in those times a peculiarly unfortunate person. The games often lasted an entire day. Years later, in 1858, I hap- pened to be in St. Louis and there met Cap- tain Holloway and other army chums. We went into the Planters Hotel to talk over old times and it was soon proposed to have an old-time game of brag, but it was soon found that we were one short of making up a full hand. "Wait a few minutes,” said Holloway, “and I will find some one." In a few minutes he returned with a man poorly dressed in citizen's clothes and in whom we recognized our old friend Grant. Going into civil life Grant had been unfor. tunate and he was really in needy circum- stances. The next day I was walking in front of the Planters when I found myself face to face again with Grant who, placing in the palm of my hand a five-dollar gold piece, insisted that I should take it in pay. ment of a debt of honor over 15 years old. I peremptorily declined to take it, alleging that he was out of the service and more in need of it than I. "You must take it," said he; “I cannot live with anything in my pos. session which is not mine." Seeing the de- termination in the man's face and in order to save him mortification I took the money. -GENERAL LONGSTREET, New York Times, July 24, 1885. Grant and his family were at the farm near St. Louis where Mrs. Grant resided. One hot day, after two o'clock dinner, when everybody was out on the lawn, Jesse mount- ed a haystack and exclaimed, "I'll show you how papa makes a speech." Grant himself laughed and we all went up to the haystack. Then Jesse made a bow (which his father would not have done) and began: “Ladies and gentlemen: I am very glad to see you. I thank you very much. Good night." Everybody laughed, but Grant blushed up to the eyes. I don't think he relished the imi. tation at all; it was too close. But Jesse was the baby and we talked of something else.- BADEAU. Fondness for Tobacco My father tried to smoke while at West Point, but only because it was against the regulations; and then he didn't succeed very well at it. He really got the habit of smok- 263 Grant OF THE GREAT ing light cigars and cigarettes during the Mexican war, but it wasn't a fixed habit. When he left the army and lived in the coun- try, he smoked a pipe not incessantly. I don't think he was very fond of tobacco then and really there was always a popular mis- conception of the amount of his smoking. But he went on as a light smoker, a casual smoker, until the day of the fall of Fort Donelson. Then the gunboats, having been worsted somewhat, and Admiral Foote hav- ing been wounded, he sent ashore for my father to come and see him. Father went aboard and the admiral, as is customary, had his cigars passed. My father took one and was smoking it when he went ashore. There he was met by a staff officer, who told him there was a sortie and the right wing had been struck and smashed in. Then my father started for the scene of operations. He let his cigar go out, naturally, but held it between his fingers. He rode hither and yon, giving orders and directions, still with the cigar stump in his hand. The result of his exertions was that Fort Donelson fell, after he sent his message of "Unconditional surrender” and “I propose to move imme- diately upon your works.” With the mes- sage was sent all over the country the news that Grant was smoking throughout the bat- tle, when he only had carried the stump from Foote's flagship. But cigars began to come in from all over the Union. He had eleven thousand cigars on hand in a very short time. He gave away all that he could, but he was so surrounded with cigars that he got to smoking them regularly. But he never smoked as much as he seemed to smoke. He would light a cigar after breakfast and let it go out, and then light it again, and then again let it go out and light it; so that the one cigar would last till lunch time.-WAT- ROUS, McClure's Magazine, May, 1894, quot- ing Colonel Frederick D. Grant. Whittling and smoking are among Grant's favorite occupations. He is a true Yankee in these respects. It is recorded of him that during the battle of the Wilderness he was engaged in whittling the bark of a tree under which his headquarters were established: and, on all occasions, great or small, he smokes. He is a more inveterate smoker than either Sherman or Rosecrans, but he smokes in a different style and for a different effect. Both Sherman and Rose- crans take to tobacco as a stimulant to their nervous organizations. Grant smokes with the listless, absorbed and satisfied air of an opium smoker, his mind and body being soothed into repose rather than excited by the effect of the weed. Neither Sherman nor Rosecrans are neat smokers, the velvet breast- facing of their coats and shirt bosoms being generally soiled. Grant, on the contrary, is very neat and smokes only the best of cigars. He smokes almost without cessation and is never at ease when employed at any- thing which forbids smoking as an accom- paniment. During the famous interview with Pemberton before Vicksburg he smoked with his usual composure. “We pardon General Grant for smoking a cigar as he entered the town of Vicksburg," said a rebel paper after the surrender; "a little stage effect,” it added, "is admirable in great captains.” But Grant never smokes dramatically. His cigar is a necessary part of himself and is neither as- sumed nor abandoned for state occasions. He has been known to smoke at reviews; and has frequently been brought to a halt and notified by sentinels or guards over com- missary stores, "No smoking allowed here, sir." On entering the Senate chamber to be presented to the Senate he had to be request- ed to leave his cigar outside.—Harper's Mag- azine, June, 1865. His smoking has become historical. The habit in the field has not been exaggerated. During the second day of the battle of the Wilderness he smoked twenty-four strong cigars. The number of cigars generally bore some relation to the magnitude of the oc- casion.--PORTER, Harper's Magazine, Sep- tember, 1885. He was walking on the dock at City Point, just before the fall of Richmond, absorbed in thought and the inevitable cigar in his mouth, when a negro guard, belonging to one of the colored regiments, touched his arm, saying, “No smoking on the dock, sir.” “Are those your orders ?” asked the general, looking up. “Yes, sir," replied the soldier courteously but decidedly. “Very good or- ders,” said Grant, as, walking away, he threw his cigar into the James river.-WILSON. The Soldier I once said to Grant, “General, if you had been a Southern man, would you have been in the Southern army?” “Certainly," he re- plied.--MOSBY, Munsey's Magazine, March, 1911. When a friend first advised him to apply for a colonelcy, he said, “To tell you the truth, I would rather like a regiment, yet there are few men really competent to com- Grant 264 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES mand a thousand soldiers, and I doubt commanding tones, “Get down off there! whether I am one of them.”-Atlantic Month Don't you know anything? You have no busi- ly, March, 1869. ness here anyway and you'll get popped over in a minute, as sure as a gun.” The stranger When we halted at Salt River, Missouri, finished his survey and very leisurely re- two of our bloods, supposing it was neces- tired from his post of observation. Hardly sary to show their hatred of the rebellion had he gone when a fellow soldier asked the by some valorous exploit, had hardly pitched other, “Do you know who that was?" "No; their tents when they started off, on their nor do I care; some newspaperman prob- own responsibility, to seek for the enemies of ably.” “Not by a long shot,” replied the the Union. They left in the afternoon, stayed other; "that's General Grant.” “General all night and came back with flying colors Grant!” cried the rifleman; and, springing the next day, bringing with them a "secesher" up, he rushed out and overtook the general and two of his horses. Grant was seated by and humbly said, "I beg your pardon for the door of his tent when the two heroes speaking so; I thought it was a stranger who brought the trophies of their victory before did not know the danger.” “All right,” said him. He did not rise from his seat, nor pull the general, taking out his tobacco box and, the pipe from his mouth, but quietly asked handing it to the soldier, asked him, “Do you the boys, “Who gave you permission to be chew?” “Sometimes," and taking a soldier's absent from camp?” “Nobody; we just "cud," he returned to his duty. The story thought we would go out and look after some soon got wind and as it spread through the 'seceshers,' and we've found this fellow and army it kindled new enthusiasm for the hero brought him up," and they pointed tri- who had already the heart of every one who umphantly to their prisoner, who was still knew his affability and his pluck.-Harper's sitting on his horse and looked as if he ex- Magazine, November, 1863. pected to be shot before he could say his prayers. “I'll attend to your case first,” said A fine illustration of his practicability the colonel; and the flush of victory began to is found in a story related of him when oper- fade from their faces as he continued, “Cap ating before Fort Donelson. On the night tain, you will take these boys and have before the surrender the preparations of a them tied to a tree for six hours for leaving portion of the rebels to evacuate the fort led camp without permission.” The boys looked General McClernand to believe they were crestfallen and disappeared in company with meditating an attack and he communicated the captain. After the colonel had questioned his suspicions to Grant, at the same time the trembling farmer, and his professions of sending him a prisoner who had been cap- attachment to the Union were found to be tured but a short time before. On reading satisfactory, and he freely took the oath of McClernand's despatch Grant ordered the allegiance, he set him at liberty and leisurely prisoner's haversack to be searched. It was resumed his smoking as though nothing un- found that it was filled with rations. “If usual had happened.-CRANE, McClure's Mag the rebels intended to hold the fort they azine, June, 1906. (At the request of Chap would not encumber their men with rations. lain Crane the duration of the punishment They are preparing to leave," was the very was reduced.) sage and practical reasoning of the general and he immediately ordered McClernand to A true soldier writes to the Drawer from assume the offensive. The result was that the fallen city of Vicksburg and says: Dur a commanding ridge near Dover, south of ing the siege of this place Logan's division, the fort, was carried, and only a portion of erected in front of and near to the principal the garrison escaped; the remainder capit- rebel fort a wooden tower for riflemen, which ulated.-Harper's Magazine, June, 1865. overlooked part of the enemy's works. One An officer who had served on General day the Forty-fifth Illinois were on duty as Grant's staff once told me an incident which sharpshooters there, when a man came into illustrates the quick decision of General the tower whose common dress and appear- Grant. It was just after the battle of Shiloh. ance led us to take him for one of your The officers were grouped around a camp correspondents, or some private citizen on his fire, when General John A. McClernand rode travels. He made his way to the top of the | up to General Grant and, handing him an tower and began to look over and survey autograph letter from President Lincoln di- the enemy's works, to the no slight exposure recting Grant to turn his command over to of his own person. One of the riflemen oc- General McClernand, General Grant read the cupying this post called out, in rough and | letter carefully and, tearing it up into small Grant 266 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES am eligible to any civil office to which any | rebel General Winter was coming up to at- American is eligible. But this is a purely | tack one of the wings of his army, where the civil duty to which you wish to assign me, commander-in-chief himself happened to be and I cannot be compelled to undertake it. | present. “Gentlemen,” said Grant, quietly Any legal military order you give me, I shall knocking the ashes from his cigar and look- obey; but this is civil, not military, and I | ing around at the officers near him, "you see decline the duty. No power on earth can a severe Winter approaching and I advise force me to it." The plotters were electrified you to have the boys keep up a good fire."- and made no answer, and Grant, instead of | Harper's Magazine, January, 1866. resuming his seat, quitted the room. He was General Buckner sturdily held not sent to Mexico.-Atlantic Monthly, May, his 1869. ground, but sent a messenger to sue for terms. Grant replied in the simplest and In Lighter Vein most direct manner: “No terms except imme- Lieutenant Wickfield, of the Indiana cav diate and unconditional surrender can be ac- alry, commanded the advanced men. Pro cepted. I propose to move immediately upon visions were scarce on the march of 110 miles. your works.” Buckner grumbled at these On the third day Lieutenant Wickfield came "unchivalrous terms,” but yielded and, when up to a small farmhouse, and, thinking he met Grant within the defenses, he said there might be something to eat, accosted with a bow and a smile, "General, as they the inmates of the house, imperatively de say in Mexico, this house and all it contains manding food, and upon being questioned said , are yours.” Grant said, "I thought Pillow was he was General Grant. (Grant was then in command.” “He was," replied Buckner. brigadier-general commanding the expedi "Where is he now?” “Gone.” “Why did he tion in Arkansas.) With loud professions of go?” “Well, he thought you'd rather get loyalty the inmates served up the best meal | hold of him than any other man in the they could produce and refused to accept | Southern confederacy.” “Oh," said Grant payment; whereupon our lieutenant went on quickly, with a smile, "if I'd got him I'd let his way rejoicing. Presently General Grant him go again. He would do us more good came up to the same house and asked if they commanding you fellows.”-GARLAND, MC- could cook him some food. "No," was the Clure's Magazine, June, 1897, citing Buckner. answer; “General Grant and his staff have There was a grim joke in the despatch just been here and eaten all in the house ex- he sent to the War Department after having cept one pumpkin pie.” Having inquired the failed in repeated efforts to have a general name of the good lady who gave him this officer relieved from a separate command. It information Grant induced her by half a dol- read, “I beg that you will relieve General lar to keep the pie until he should send for at least until all danger is over."- it. That evening a grand parade was ordered for half past six o'clock for orders to be PORTER, Harper's Magazine, September, 1885. read and the troops were formed up, ten “I always disliked to hear anybody columns deep and a quarter of a mile long; swear except Rawlins.” Old army comrades officers were called to the front, and the fol who remember the peculiar vigor and elo- lowing was read by the assistant-adjutant quent anathemas of the chief of staff will general: “Lieutenant Wickfield, of the Indi understand the exception.-RICHARDSON. ana cavalry, having on this day eaten every- The following shows that Jeff Davis's thing in Mrs. Selvidge's house, at the cross- negroes were taught to pronounce "chairs" ing of Trenton and Pocahontas and Black "cheers.” During the siege of Vicksburg River and Cape Girardeau's roads, excepting some of the Sixth Missouri Cavalry visited one pumpkin pie, is hereby ordered to return the former residence of President Davis and with an escort of one hundred cavalry and found the blacks all very much alarmed at eat that pie also. U. S. Grant, brigadier- the near approach of General Grant, who they general, commanding." At seven o'clock, believed would immediately devour them. amidst the cheers of the army, the lieutenant The frightened creatures asked numberless and his men filed out of camp and in the questions of the boys as to what they should course of the night duly returned and with do to appease him if he should visit them. all formality the pie was reported eaten.- The boys told them that the general was not Harper's Magazine, April, 1869. very frightful and if they would assemble in The only joke Lieutenant-General Grant the yard at his approach and give him three was ever known to perpetrate was one day cheers they would be safe. They were very during his campaign in Mississippi, when the / much amused upon returning to find that 267 Grant OF THE GREAT the darkeys had nicely swept a place under he visited Stockton in the autumn of 1879, the trees in the yard and had set out three of and in a short, humorous address said that the best chairs the mansion afforded.--Har he had met hundreds, perhaps thousands, of per's Magazine, June, 1864. people who had told him they knew him So dense was the tobacco smoke when I when he kept the ferry near that city. There must be some mistake about it, nevertheless, entered the room that the general and some he said, as he never visited that locality but dozen gentlemen seated beside him were al- once before and on that occasion had stayed most invisible. As I approached he took his over night only.--AMMEN, The North Ameri- cigar-case from his pocket and offered me a can Review, October, 1885. huge Havana. I asked permission to smoke one of my own cigarettes. “So far as I am There is one amusing little incident I re- personally concerned,” the general said, “I've call, apropos of a large full-sized portrait of no objection to your doing so, provided the General Sherman on his "March to the Sea" other gentlemen do not object-to the smoke." which hangs in my hall and which was This is the nearest approach to humor I have painted from life by Kauffmann. Sherman ever observed in him.-TUCKERMAN, Magazine sits in front of the tent, in a white shirt, of American History, August, 1888. without coat or vest. The picture shows a campfire in front and the moonlight in the Some one remarked in Grant's presence rear of the tents. The criticism of General that Sumner did not believe in the Bible. Grant when he first saw it was, “That is all “Why should he?" said the general; "he did very fine; it looks like Sherman; but he not write it." - TUCKERMAN. never wore a boiled shirt there, I am sure." When he was at Galena Grant said to me Grant, surrounded by those he knew well, that he thought that Motley, the historian, always did two-thirds of the talking. He was would make a good secretary of state. Mot- a reticent and diffident man in general com- ley had been minister to Vienna but had been pany and it was not until he was out of the removed by Johnson for criticizing the re- presidency that he became a public speaker. construction policy of the administration too He told a story that he was notified once sharply, and great sympathy was felt for him that he was expected to make a reply to a by republicans. Sumner especially was anx- sentiment given him and he looked it over ious that he should be restored to the post he and wrote his answer carefully, but when he had lost. Motley corresponded with me dur- got up he was stricken dumb. He utterly ing the canvass and sent me copies of the lost himself and could not say a word. After speeches he had made for Grant. These were that he did not want to hear what was going shown to Grant and they impressed him to be said and never prepared anything. A favorably. But soon after the election Grant gentleman told me that, in going to Liverpool visited Boston, where Motley called on him. and Manchester, a committee came down to I did not accompany my chief on this occa- meet him and brought a report of what they sion and on his return I asked his opinion of were going to say to show to him. He said, Motley. "He parts his hair in the middle "No, I have had one experience; I don't want and wears a single eye-glass,” was the reply, to see it."-CHILDS, Lippincott's Magazine, and the tone as well as the words indicated July, 1889. that the historian was too foreign in his ways There was a lady of a very distinguished to please the president-elect.-BADEAU. family of New York who came here (Long On one of our Sunday walks we met two Branch] and wanted me to remove her son gentlemen, one of whom introduced the from Texas. He was an officer in the army other to the general. The one introduced and I told her I could not do that. My rich told the general that he knew him when he petitioner then said, "Well, could you not re- kept Knight's ferry, near Stockton, in Cali- | move his regiment ?” at which you can guess fornia. The general smiled and said that he | I could hardly help laughing.-CHILDS, had met a great number of people who told Philadelphia Press. him that they knew him when he kept that ferry. We passed on and our conversation In Europe was resumed without any comment in rela- I was with General Grant in Rome but tion to these gentlemen or what had been there was no disguising the fact that he did said. Had any one asked us whether General | not appreciate pictures or statuary. He re- Grant kept that ferry, I certainly would have fused to admire the Marcus Aurelius at the replied affirmatively. On the return of Gen Capitol, though I took him to see it especial- eral Grant, after his tour around the world, 1 ly because it was equestrian: I thought he Grant Grooley, Horaco 268 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES would like the horse. I went with him to done in order that, if the doctor stopped at the Vatican but he passed straight through Sing Sing, on his way to Mount MacGregor, the wonderful gallery of marble and never he would be properly clipped. During an ex. wanted to linger; he did not care for the amination of his throat, he wrote in an at- Apollo or the Laocoon. He got tired of the tempt to whisper another jocose remark: "I Sistine Chapel and poked fun at me when I | said that if you wanted anything larger in wanted to look once more at the Last Judg the way of a spatula-is that what you call ment of Michelangelo. He would not pre it?-I saw a man behind the house filling a tend. He was blind always to the beauties ditch with a hoe. It was larger, and I think of art. I don't think he could tell a good it can be borrowed.” Referring to some re- picture from a bad one. In the same way port in a newspaper, he wrote: “The he was utterly deaf to music. He never knew has killed me off for a year and a half; if it one tune from another; he thought he could does not change it will get right in time."- distinguish "Hail to the Chief,” it was played GARLAND, McClure's Magazine, May, 1898. so often for him; but if it was changed to “Yankee Doodle” he did not know the differ- He was not afraid of the disease after he knew all about it and the last time I saw ence. I more than once heard him say at him, just before he went to Mount MacGregor, balls, he could dance very well if it wasn't for he said, “Now, Mr. Childs, I have been twice the music; that always put him out.-BA- within half a minute of death. I realize it DEAU. fully, and my life was only preserved by the The general committed a sad mistake at attention and skill of my physicians. I have the formal reception given him by the Duke told them the next time to let me go.”— of Devonshire. On this occasion the nobility CHILDS, Philadelphia Press, August 30, 1885. wore their orders. The ex-president appeared decorated just the same way—that is, with a GRATTAN, Henry, 1746-1820. Irish states- flaming red ribbon across his breast from man. shoulder to waist, and a large gold badge. One day he and Mr. Duquerry, an eminent General Badeau wore something smaller of barrister, dined with Mr. Curran at the Pri- the same kind. There were few Americans ory. The water at the table was the theme present, but we were shocked. I was embar of a panegyric and Duquerry said it was the rassed by the inquiries made of me by Eng best he ever tasted. The next morning Mr. lishmen present, whether there were orders Grattan was missed at the breakfast table; and decorations of that kind in America. Of in a few minutes, however, he entered the course, I could give no explanation. My parlor quite out of breath, his hat off, his friend, G. W. Smalley, if I remember rightly, hair disheveled and a tumbler of water in told me that the gold medal was engraved his hand. “Curran, when Duquerry said last with a list of Grant's victories. The inci night that the water here was the best he dent excited ridicule and some Americans ever tasted, I did not choose to contradict managed to let the general understand that him, because the water might have been kept this bit of imitation had changed the homage and I might have done it an injustice; but I of the nobility to an ex-president into an have now satisfied myself; here it is, taken ex-president's genuflexion before them. At fresh out of the well with my own hand and any rate, the riband was laid aside later in it is not to be compared to the water at the evening and not worn again in London. Tinnehinch.” “I declare,” said Curran, "he CONWAY. was so serious, you would have thought that During his visit to this country he was the character of the pump involved that of dined at Apsley House, the guest of the sec- the country.”—CHARLES PHILIPS, "Curran ond Duke of Wellington. A very distin- and His Contemporaries.” guished company was present to meet him. Mr. Grattan's manner at this time was He spoke in monosyllables only during the so singular that at one of the places where dinner, but when the ladies had retired he he resided with his friend Day the landlady remarked aloud to his host, "My lord, I have imagined not only that he was an eccentric heard that your father was a military man." character, but that he was deranged, and she -MACDONAGH, Cornhill Magazine, Septem- complained to one of his friends that the ber, 1898. gentleman used to walk up and down in her Laughing at Death garden most of the night, speaking to him- Though he was pain-weary and foreboding self; and, though alone, he was addressing death, he joked a little. Once he alluded to some one on all occasions as Mr. Speaker; the doctor's close-cut hair and said it was that it was not possible that he could be in 269 Grant Greeley, Horace OF THE GREAT his senses and she begged they would take politicians, or persons who have failed to him away; and that, if they did, she would succeed in inducing Mr. Greeley to turn the forgive him all the rent that was due. A circular stone that is accounted needful to letter that I have received from his friend give edge to their little axes. Not long since Day gives a more exact account of his man. one of these persons entered his private sanc- ner of living and his occupations at that tum to express indignation at a Tribune edi. period. “We lived in the same chamber in torial. Mr. Greeley was writing and, though the Middle Temple and took a house in violently accosted, never looked up. The irate Windsor Forest, commanding a beautiful politician roared out: "Horace Greeley, I landscape; he delighted in romantic scenery. charge you with betraying the best interests Between both we lived together there for of the party. You are a secret foe of radical- three or four years, the happiest period of ism. You do us more harm than you do my life. . . . He would spend the whole good. Confound it, if you'd go over to the moonlight nights rambling and losing himself democrats, body and soul, it would be the in the thickest plantations. He would some-| best thing you could do. You stay with the times pause and address a tree in soliloquy, republicans and stab them in the dark. You thus preparing himself early for that as are the worst enemy radicalism ever had in sembly which he was destined in later life to this country. I once thought you honest, adorn. One morning he amused us at break- though I knew you to be a fool. Now I'll fast with an adventure of the night before in swear you are a scoundrel and an idiot.” the forest. In one of those midnight rambles Here he paused again for breath, as he had he stopped at a gibbet and commenced apos- several times before, expecting Horace Gree- trophizing the chains in his usual animated ley to make some defense, or at least reply strain, when he suddenly felt a tap on his to the ferocious charges. But he was shoulder, and on turning about was accosted disappointed. The veteran journalist re- by an unknown person: 'How the devil did mained at his desk apparently unconcerned, you get down?' to which the rambler calmly still scribbling at his editorial. The poli- replied, “Sir, I suppose you have an interest tician attempted to give vent to another in that question.'”—HENRY GRATTAN, "Me burst of indignation, but he was so mad he moirs of the Life and Times of the Right could not speak and, after a splutter of epi- Hon. Henry Grattan.” thets, he hurried to the door. The philosopher GREELEY, Horace, 1811-1872. American then lifted his head for the first time and editor and statesman. called out in his high, shrill voice, “Don't go off that way, my friend. Come back and Sumptuous was the attire of the bride- relieve your mind.”—Harper's Magazine, groom; a suit of fine, black broadcloth, and March, 1868. “on this occasion only" a pair of silk stock- ings! It appears that silk stockings and Often such conversations as these took matrimony were, in his mind, associated place in the office in the middle of the day. ideas, as rings and matrimony, orange blos Greeley—“Jonas, have I been to dinner?” soms and matrimony are in the minds of Mr. Winchester-"You ought to know best; I people in general. Accordingly he bought a don't know." Greeley—“John, have I been pair of silk stockings; but, trying on his to dinner?” John--"I believe not; has he, wedding suit previous to his departure for Tom?” To which Tom would reply “No” or the South, he found, to his dismay, that the “Yes,” according to his own recollections or stockings were completely hidden by the John's wink; and, if the office generally con- affluent terminations of another garment. curred in John's decision, Horace would either The question now at once occurred to his go to dinner or resume his work, in unsus- logical mind, "What is the use of having silk pecting accordance therewith. JAMES PAR- stockings, if nobody can see that you have ΤΟΝ. them?” He laid the case, it is said, before Chauncey M. Depew has told of finding a his tailor, who, knowing his customer, imme- visitor in Greeley's editorial room when he diately removed the difficulty by cutting away made a call on him. The editor's patience a crescent of cloth from the front of the had evidently been almost exhausted, and as aforesaid terminations, which rendered the he wrote on steadily he would give an occa- silk stockings obvious to the most casual sional kick towards the caller, who every now observer.--JAMES PARTON, “Life of Greeley." and then put in a word. Finally, turning It is one of the peculiarities of Mr. Gree- | round, Greeley said, “Tell me what you want. ley never to be disturbed by personalities Tell me quick and in one sentence.” The man that may be addressed to him by small-beer l said, “I want a subscription, Mr. Greeley, for Grooley, Horaos 270 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES a cause which will prevent a thousand of our very much obliged to you.”—Harper's Maga- fellow beings from going to hell.” Greeley | zine, April, 1873. shouted: "I will not give you a cent. There According to one legend Greeley hap- don't half enough go there now."—W. A. pened to be for a time the chairman of a LINN, "Horace Greeley." local railway company and he had occasion He [Sumner] told us that in going to send one of the clerks in one of the offices through New York he had met Horace Gree a written notice of dismissal. Greeley wrote ley, who invited him to come to his house this brief document with his own hand and the next morning for breakfast. "I went up it was duly delivered to the clerk, who used there,” said Sumner, "a long distance, and it for months afterwards as a free pass along Greeley talked and talked over an hour about the line of the railway. He had only to go politics. At last it occurred to him that I to any station, present the document, mention had not breakfasted and he called up the that it was a free pass from Mr. Greeley and cook and asked her if there was anything for wait for its perusal. The official who saw breakfast. She said that there were some it was able to make out the familiar signa- milk and bread and cold meat. On that I ture, but could not hope to decipher the two had to breakfast." The amusing thing was or three lines of writing in the body of the the serious disgust manifested by the sena document, and naturally presumed that it tor in telling it.-MONCURE D. CONWAY, must be all right and allowed the bearer to “Autobiography and Memories." pass along to his seat in the railway cars.- In the evening after the adjournment of JUSTIN MCCARTHY, “Reminiscences." the convention (which had nominated Gen He had the capacity of spontaneous aver- eral Taylor for president] I was in the of sion--formed opinions of people by a kind of fice of The Philadelphia North American, second sight. I knew one noted man whom writing out my report. The Hon. Morton he disliked, as well as I could make out, for McMichael, the editor of the North American no other reason than the color of his hair. (who was a gentleman of much social influ He never forgave another for being a col- ence and political sagacity), was talking over lege graduate. Life and its employments the situation with several delegates (Taylor were an earnest purpose: there should be men) from the Southwest, when who should no trifling by the wayside, no lolling over come tramping into the office, carpetbag in vanities, no giving way to meretricious appe- hand, but Horace Greeley. On seeing who tites; and therefore the greatest of crimes were present, Greeley scowled upon them, was drink. A man's troth was sacred; it turned round and started for the door. was the human expression of a divine attri- "Where are you going, Mr. Greeley?” Mc bute, and, therefore, next to drink there was Michael courteously asked. “I'm going no crime so great as marriage infidelity. His home," snarled Greeley. "But there's no dislike to tobacco, az to wine, was an indica- train to-night,” McMichael suggested. “I tion of personal discomfort. There was no don't want any train," Greeley snapped out. virtue quite as desirable as thrift and thrift “I'm going across New Jersey, afoot and was best served by small salaries. The ma- alone.” And away he went.-OLIVER DYER, terial happiness of mankind was a constant “Great Senators." care. The Jersey marshes that stretch from Hoboken to Newark distressed him. “Is there One of the numerous stories told of the editor's autography is that some time be- no way-are there no lessons in the economic conditions of Holland to teach us how to re- fore the war he wrote a note to a member of the staff, discharging this employee for claim these waste square miles of marsh and overflow and make them into wholesome en: gross neglect of duty. The expelled journal- during homes?” This was a frequent in- ist went to California and, returning after several years, encountered Mr. Greeley in quiry. His dislike to slavery, when you sift- ed it down, was rather an earnest of sym- Printing-House square. The chief recognized him and inquired, with customary cordiality, pathy with the white man who was undersold where he had been and how he had gotten in his labor than sentiment for the negro.- along. "Let me see, didn't I get mad at you John RUSSELL YOUNG, Lippincott's Magazine, and send you off?” “Oh, yes; you wrote me February, 1893. a note, telling me to clear out. I took it Hear me you shall, pity me you must, with me. Nobody could read it and so I de while I proceed to give a short account of the clared it to be a letter of recommendation, dread calamities which this vile habit of gave it my own interpretation and got sev-| turning the city upside down, 'tother side eral first-class situations by it. I really am I out, and wrong side before, on the first of 271 Groeley, Horaco OF THE GREAT May, has brought down on my devoted head. raveling the mystery and found that my You must know that having resided but a few | landlord had removed his goods and chattels months in your city, I was totally ignorant of to another part of the city on the estab- the existence of said custom. So, on the | lished day, supposing me to be previously morning of the eventful and to me disastrous acquainted and satisfied with his intention of day, I rose, according to immemorial usage, so doing, and another family had immediately at dying away of the last echo of the break| taken his place; of which changes my ab- fast bell, and soon found myself seated over sence of mind, and absence from dinner, had my coffee, and my good landlady exercising kept me ignorant, and thus I had been led her powers of volubility (no weak ones) ap blindfold into a Comedy (or rather tragedy) parently in my behalf; but so deep was the of Errors.-Spirit of the Times, New York, reverie in which my half-awakened brain | May 5, 1832. was then engaged, that I did not catch a One evening an associate editor of the single idea from the whole of her discourse. Tribune accosted him as he came to his desk I smiled and said, “Yes, maʼm,” “Certainly with some such question as this: "Didn't you. ma'm," at each pause; and, having speedily know, Mr. Greeley, that you made a dread- despatched my breakfast, sallied immediately ful blunder in one of your statistical editori- out and proceeded to attend to the business als this morning ?” “No; how was it?” said which engrossed my mind; dinner time came, Mr. Greeley. “Why, you said something about but no time for dinner; and it was late when lleidsieck and champagne. Don't you know I was at liberty to wend my way over wheel- that Heidsieck is champagne?” “Well,” said barrows, barrels and all manner of obstruc- Mr. Greeley quietly, “I am the only editor on tions, towards my boarding-house. All here this paper that could make that mistake.”— was still; but, by the help of my night keys, JOEL BENTON, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July, I soon introduced myself to my chamber, 1887. dreaming of nothing but sweet repose; when, horrible to relate, my ears were instantly When General Dix was in command at saluted by a most piercing female shriek, pro- New York and had charge of Fort Lafayette, and some of our fellow citizens who had been ceeding exactly from my own bed, or at least where it should have been; and scarcely had endeavoring to destroy the best government sufficient time elapsed for my hair to bristle in the world were shut up there, a prominent on my head before the shriek was answered democrat made his appearance at the mili- by loud vociferations of a ferocious mastiff tary headquarters with a letter of introduc- in the kitchen beneath, and re-echoed by the tion from Mr. Greeley and a demijohn of outeries of half a dozen of the inmates of whiskey, to the neck of which was tied a card, the house, and these again succeeded by the addressing it to a gentleman of celebrity at rattle of the watchman; and the next mo- that time retired in the fort from public ment there was a round dozen of them (be- activities. The conjunction was so singular sides the dog) at my throat and commanding that General Dix was disturbed and with me instantly to tell them what the devil this great austerity asked, “Why should I send all meant. “You do well to ask me that," a jug of whiskey to your friend in Fort La- said I, as soon as I could speak, “after fall- fayette?” “Because," said the bearer, “my ing upon me in this fashion in my own friend likes whiskey.” The general regarded chamber.” “Oh, take him off,” said the one him grimly for a moment and smiled and who assumed to be master of the house. said, “I hadn't thought of that; it isn't a bad "Perhaps he is not a thief after all, but, be- reason; the whiskey shall go to your friend," ing too tipsy for starlight, he has made a and it did. This was one of Mr. Greeley's mistake in trying to find his lodgings." favorite anecdotes. He told it with unction And, in spite of all my remonstrances, I was and said it was one of the most surprising forthwith marched off to the watch-house instances that had come within his observa- to pass the remainder of the night. In the tion of the power of plain telling of the sim- morning I narrowly escaped commitment on ple truth.-MURAT HALSTEAD, Cosmopolitan the charge of burglary with intent to steal Magazine, February, 1890. (I verily believe it would have gone hard A person who wished to have a little fun with me if the witnesses could have been at the expense of his consistency said in a got there at that unseasonable hour): and I group where Mr. Greeley was standing, "Mr. was finally discharged with the solemn admo Greeley and I, gentlemen, are old friends; nition to guard in future against intoxication. we have drunk a great deal of brandy and Think of that, sir, for a member of the Cold water together.” “Yes," said Mr. Greeley, Water Society. I spent the next day in un- | "that is true enough. You drank the brandy Greeley, Horace Gustavus III. 272 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and I drank the water.”—JOEL BENTON, Cos- | toine Louis, son of a surgeon attached to mopolitan Magazine, July, 1887. the military hospital at Metz. ... It re- mained for a skilful mechanician, a German, After the settlement of his estate the Sun published a list of Mr. Greeley's assets. It by name Schmidt, to carry out Dr. Louis's would have been one of the most laughter- design, a design of extreme minuteness, not the least little detail having been omitted. exciting documents on record had it not been Schmidt's efforts were successful and under so pathetic—the pathos being evolved in the the name of "la Louisette" the automatic reflection that so much good money should and instantaneous decapitator forthwith re- have been expended in exploiting schemes that one would imagine could not have gained placed the breakings on the wheel, mutila- tions, burnings and torture unutterable of a moment's attention outside of the walls of ante-revolutionary times. But every third a lunatic asylum. ... Indeed, had it not been that his true friend, McElrath, the pub- French man or French woman bearing the lisher of the Tribune, insisted on taking name of Louis or Louise, such a designation charge of his finances it is probable that the was speedily discarded. The "guillotine" re- placed "la Louisette," an honest and deserv. Greeley family would have been without the necessaries of life.-The Bookman, April, edly illustrious name being thus travestied 1901. for all time.—BETHAM-EDWARDS, “French Vignettes." GROUCHY, Emmanuel, Count de, 1766-1847. Propositions presented by Dr. Guillotin, French marshal. October 10, 1798, to the National Assembly: The last time I was at Waterloo, many 1. Crimes of the same kind shall be pun- years ago, the guide who accompanied me ished by the same kind of punishment, what- told me that a short time before a man, ever be the rank of the criminal. 2. In all whose appearance was that of a substantial cases (whatever be the crime) of capital farmer, and who was followed by an atten- punishment it shall be of the same kind- dant, called on him for his services. The that is, beheading--and it shall be executed guide made his usual rounds, making his oft- by means of a machine. 3. Crime being per- repeated remarks, and commenting severely sonal, the punishment, whatever it may be, on Grouchy. The stranger examined the of a criminal shall inflict no disgrace on his ground attentively, and only occasionally re family. 4. No one shall be allowed to re- plied, saying, "Grouchy received no orders." proach any citizen with the punishment of At last the servant fell back, detaining the any of his relations. He that shall dare to do guide, and in a low tone said, "Speak no more so shall be reprimanded by the judge and this about Marshal Grouchy, for that is he.” The reprimand shall be posted up on the door of man told me that after that he abstained the delinquent and moreover shall be posted from saying anything offensive; but that he against the pillory for three months. 5. watched carefully the soldier's agitation, as The property of a convict shall never more in the various positions in the battle became any case be confiscated. 6. The bodies of apparent to him. He doubtless saw how little executed criminals shall be delivered to their would have changed the current of the fight families if such be demanded. In all cases and knew that the means of doing it had been | the body shall be buried in the usual manner in his own hands. The guide seemed much and the registry shall contain no mention of impressed with the deep feeling of the mar the nature of the death.—Quarterly Review, shal and said to me, "I shall never speak ill March, 1844. of him again.”—“Personal Reminiscences," Atlantic Monthly, May, 1858. M. Guillotin, a learned physician, had in- vented, two years before, the instrument of GUILLOTIN, Joseph Ignace, 1738-1814. death which he deemed best calculated to French statesman. abridge the suſierings of the culprits con- Never, indeed, has the irony of history demned to forfeit their lives by the sentence been bitterer or more striking than in this of severe but just laws. His invention was instance. For whilst the idea of death by laid hold of for the purpose of despatching a decapitation alike for noblesse and roturier greater number of victims. That was the was Dr. Guillotin's, with the machine itself expression used by a member of the conven- with which his name became irrevocably fast tion. M. Guillotin, whom I have known in ened he had nothing whatever to do. The his old age, was inconsolable for what he inventor was another physician, one who had considered an involuntary blemish in his also risen to the foremost rank and who, like existence. His venerable countenance bore his colleague, was a humanitarian, Dr. An- | the impress of a settled gloom and his hair 273 VI. OF THE GREAT Gustavus Greeley, Boraco of snowy whiteness afforded a clear indica- | was living until some time after my arrival tion of his mental sufferings. He had aimed in Stockholm. It is not less certain that at relieving the sorrows of human nature and this same woman warned him, previously to he unintentionally contributed to the destruc his journey to Italy, to beware of red clothes, tion of a greater number of human beings. and that the first person he afterwards met Had they been put to death in a less expe with in clothes of that color was the very ditious manner the people might soon have Count Ribbing, who twenty years later be- been wearied out by those executions, which longed to the number of his assassins, but they showed the same eagerness to behold as who at that time was in great favor at court they would have done theatrical representa on account of the intimacy which subsisted tions.-GEORGETTE DUCREST, "Memoirs of the between his mother and the mother of the Empress Josephine.” monarch. To take off something of the won- derful from this circumstance it is necessary The guillotine, formerly known in Eng- to add that the king went up to the count to land as the Maiden, was used in the limits of whom he communicated the piece of advice the Forest of Hardwicke, in Yorkshire, and he had just received and pretended to laugh the executions were generally at Halifax.- at it; but still his aversion to this favorite Notes and Queries, December 26, 1857, quot- dated from that moment and may partly ing "a London publication in 1801.” serve to explain how Ribbing became one of (The Gentleman's Magazine, March and the bitterest enemies of Gustavus. The king's April, 1793, tells the following: Lord Lovat's fears of meeting with red clothes were mani. Maiden was used in Scotland; an engraving, fested on several subsequent occasions. Dur- done in 1553 at Altegrat in Westphalia, shows ing his residence at Rome he went to pay a a machine for the beheading of the son of visit to the Vatican, where he was received by Titus Manlius; a similar machine was used two cardinals. At the sight of them he start- in Persia in 1510; twenty-five were decapi- ed back, recollecting that he had forgotten tated by a similar machine in England dur- the protecting talisman which he was accus- ing the reign of Queen Elizabeth.) tomed to wear at his breast in a little satin bag. Without venturing to advance another GUSTAVUS III., 1746-1792. King of Swe- step, he despatched Count Taube, one of his most confidential attendants, for the tutelary amulet which he hung around his neck and A story was current that the king had then proceeded with boldness and courage. stooped to a trick to deceive his subjects- On his return to his hotel he had to encounter that in order to persuade them that the war another alarm, being informed that a stran- was a defensive war he caused a troop of his ger in a red coat was waiting for him. The own cavalry to dress themselves in Cossack king, however, soon recovered his composure costumes (supplied from his own fatal opera when he recognized in this dreaded traveler house) and to make a false attack upon his Count Axel Fersen, who, being just then mak- advance guard. The story is questionable, but ing a tour of Italy, had come to Rome to it served the turn of the conspirators, and pay his respects to his sovereign.-BURGOING's chimes in singularly with the theatrical des- letters on Sweden, The New Monthly Maga- tiny of the king. zine, January, 1818. A short time before the beginning of the The poor king fell, mortally wounded, in war a Swedish and rather unsparing satire the arms of his devoted Count Armfelt. Ut- against the king had been published in ter confusion followed. An immense crowd, Stockholm. The author was detected and swaying to and fro, dispersed the conspira- summoned to the palace. The poor man nat- tors. The pistol was found upon the floor, urally looked for condign punishment. "I but the hand that had pointed it was hidden see," said Gustavus, after some little question- among the innocent. Gustavus alone seemed ing, "I see you have much talent and much to preserve his presence of mind. “Let the wit; but, poor fellow, I fear you have not doors be closed,” he exclaimed; "let all un- much bread. I am desirous that you shall mask," and, looking round upon every face not be so hungry again and I therefore ap- and seeing but one general expression of point you inspector of my library.”—Put. alarm and grief, a natural greatness in his nam's Magazine, November, 1854. soul rose uppermost. “God grant,” said he, It is certain that he frequently con-| "God grant he may escape.”—Putnam's Maga- sulted a prophetess, named Arfwedson, who | zine, November, 1854. den. Hancock, General Fardson Benjamin). President WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 274 HANCOCK, Winfield Scott, 1824-1886. | HARLAN, John Marshall, 1833-1911. Judge American general. of the United States Supreme Court. A number of faint hearts, taking advan The matter was to be presented on a mo- tage of the night, started to the rear. The tion which under the rules, as they then general specially noticed (it was a moonlit | stood, an hour was allowed to each side, and night) two individuals making hasty strides I suggested that my associate should open in that direction. He halted them, asking our case, intending that, if he presented it them who they were and where they were satisfactorily, I would leave him the entire going. They replied that they were officers time allotted to us; but he was so full of his and were not leaving the field on account of case that he began the presentation of it in a being alarmed, but because they had not yet way that would have required hours. I was been mustered into service and they did not growing a little nervous over the situation think it right for them to go into action in myself, but I hesitated to interrupt him, be- that unprotected state. “Well,” said the cause I thought it might confuse him and, general, “if that is your only trouble I can just as I was debating with myself what to relieve you. I am General Hancock, your do, Judge Harlan called on him in a stern commanding officer; I will muster you into voice to "come to your point.” My young service now. Hold up your right hands." friend, confused beyond description, managed They held up their hands and the general to say that he was coming to it; but Judge administered the oath from memory. “Now," Harlan replied that his time would be con- said he, "you are mustered in; join your sumed before he reached it and that in the command and remain with it." meantime the court would have no idea of the question he was trying to present to it. When Hancock was encamped with his It was a trying experience for a young, new brigade near Lewinsville, Virginia, in the member of the bar and I felt it so keenly that spring of 1861, before the Army of the Poto I shared the young man's resentment. A few mac moved to the Peninsula, certain officers days afterwards I happened to meet Judge of his command desired to know whether he | Harlan as he was coming to the Capitol and would accept as a mark of esteem from the I told him bluntly that I regarded his rebuke brigade a silver service. The general declined of that young man as little less than cruel. the gift, stating to those who had come to see Instead of exhibiting an irritation, which him on the subject that he did not approve of | would have been entirely permissible against such presentations and at all events it would a member of his bar who had presumed to be best to wait until the war was over, as in criticize his conduct, he turned to me and, the mean time the officers and men concerned smiling, said: "My dear senator, you do not might change their feelings towards him.- understand my purpose. I saw that the JOHN W. FORNEY, “Life and Public Career young man was embarrassed by his sur. of Winfield Scott Hancock." roundings and I desired to relieve him from his embarrassment.” I told him that I A rebel major-general, with nearly his thought he had chosen a curious way to pro- entire division, was captured. Among the ducing such a result and he desired me to brigadiers taken was General George H. watch the young man when he next appeared Stewart, an acquaintance of General Han- in his court. It so happened that a re-ar- cock, and a former regular army officer. This gument of that very case was ordered, and person was ushered into General Hancock's when my associate and myself appeared here to argue it at the next term I found Judge presence. The latter, with characteristic Harlan's remedy for a lawyer's embarrass. frankness, offered his prisoner his hand with ment completely justified. When the learn. the remark, "Stewart, I'm glad to see you.” ed justices interrogated my associate upon Stewart, who was afflicted with overwhelming the second argument he answered them with ideas of his own importance, drawing him- as little embarrassment and more confidence self up, said, "Under the circumstances, sir, than I could summon and acquitted himself I cannot take your hand.” With quiet com so admirably from the beginning to the end posure Hancock replied, “Under any other of his address to the court that at the close circumstances, sir, I would not have offered of it Judge Harlan looked over to me, you my hand."--A. S. SOUTHWORTH, “Life of plainly pleased with the outcome, and after- General Winfield S. Hancock." wards recalled the circumstance more than 275 Hancock, General Farson (Benjamin), President OF THE GREAT once.—JOSEPH W. BAILEY at the Supreme getting off a train at a suburban station, Court proceedings in memory of Judge llar said to a lad, 'My boy, I'm looking for Mr. lan, December 16, 1911. Smithson's new block of semi-detached cot- tages. How far are they from here?' 'About He insisted on the dignity of the Su- twenty minutes' walk,' the boy replied. "Twen- preme Court being maintained and in 1895, ty minutes!' exclaimed the house hunter; when the ambassadors thought the justices 'nonsense; the advertisement says five. should make the first call in the social order 'Well,' said the boy, 'you can believe me or of things, contrary to the previous under- you can believe the advertisement, but I standing, Justice Harlan wouldn't have it and ain't trying to make a sale.'”—The Green that season he did not call on the ambassa- Bag, July, 1908, quoting the Washington dors. Star. For a number of years he refused to have Shortly before his death he became part- a telephone put into his house, but, when he ly conscious and spoke his farewell words to was away on a vacation one summer, Philan- those who were at his bedside, evidently with der C. Knox, then Attorney-General, had a great difficulty: “Good-by, I am sorry to telephone put in and when Justice Harlan have kept you all waiting so long.”-New returned he submitted. York Sun, October 15, 1911. He played golf a great deal and once on HARRISON, Benjamin, 1833-1901. the Chevy Chase links with an Episcopal Presi- dent of the United States. bishop as opponent the bishop missed the ball several times, but made no comment. Harrison would grant a request in a way However he looked his disgust. "Bishop, that which would seem as if he were denying it. is the most profane silence I ever knew," An eminent western senator said to me once, said Justice Harlan. New York Sun, Octo- what, of course, was a great exaggeration, ber 15, 1911. that if Harrison were to address an audi- ence of ten thousand men, he would capture Justice Harlan was very fond of the them all. But if each of them were pre- late Justice Peckham. The latter twitted sented to him in private he would make him him about his Presbyterian predilections and his enemy.-GEORGE F. HOAB, Scribner's in turn was twitted about being a democrat. Magazine, February, 1899. On one occasion Justice Harlan was explain- ing to his brethren that he would be forced The story was told-how true it is I do to absent himself from court on the follow- not know—that in one of his railroad cam- ing day to attend a Presbyterian conference. paigns through Indiana he was making a "You are such a good Presbyterian, Harlan," series of those remarkable speeches for which said Justice Peckham, “that I don't see why he became famous, and at every place he you are afraid to die.” “I would not be stopped the crowds who listened would be- afraid,” responded Justice Harlan, "if I were come wildly enthusiastic. Then he would sure that in the next world I would not turn hold a reception in the car and the people, up at democratic headquarters."-New York after shaking hands with him, would pass Tribune, October 16, 1911. out of the other end of the car silent and depressed, as if suffering from a chill. A Justice Harlan and Justice White wag in the party, who was particularly anx- chewed tobacco while on the bench and a | ious that the good effect of his speech should story was written once that Justice Harlan not be lost in a certain town, pulled the bell "borrowed a chew” from Justice White. Jus rope and started the train as soon as Har- tice Harlan pretended to be very indignant rison stopped speaking. When chided for and insisted on seeing the man who wrote the this he said, “Don't talk to me; I know my article. “It's wrong,” said Justice Harlan; business. Ben Harrison had the crowd red “it was White that borrowed the chew, not hot. I did not want him to freeze it out of I.”-New York Sun, October 15, 1911. them with his handshaking."-JOHN S. WISE, The venerable and learned Justice John | “Recollections of Thirteen Presidents.” M. Harlan, during a game of golf at Chevy Mrs. Harrison had finally decided upon Chase, explained the intricacies of evidence to some slight architectural changes and a young man. “Usually in conflicting evi- brought her approved plans to the president dence,” he said, "one statement is far more and asked his opinion of them. General probable than the other, so that we can de | Harrison studied the drawing with care and cide easily which to believe. It is like the noticed that several niches were left, each boy and the house hunter. A house hunter, plainly marked. At last he said: "Well, my Harrison_ (Wm. H.), President WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Honry III. 276 dear, here is a place for Lincoln, and here wars with the Indians, in which there is less is a place for Grant's bust. And you have glory to be won but more dangers to be en- left three places for Vest.” Then he added countered than at Tivoli and Austerlitz. He with well-assumed indignation, “I am decid is now poor, with a numerous family, neglect- edly opposed to so many monuments to Vest ed by the federal government, although yet in the White House." Mrs. Harrison has | vigorous, because he had the independence tened to explain what her husband of course i to think for himself. As the opposition is in knew all the time that the word "Vest” was the majority here, his friends bethought the architect's contraction for “vestibule," of themselves of coming to his relief, by re- which there were three in the plans. Where moving the clerk of the common pleas, who upon the president said he was satisfied and is a Jackson man, and giving him the place, handed the drawing back to her with a twin which is a lucrative one, as a sort of retir. kle in his clear blue eyes.-W. H. CROOK, ing pension. His friends in the east talk "Memories of the White House." about making him president of the United HARRISON, William Henry, 1773-1841. States. Meanwhile we have made him clerk President of the United States. of an inferior court.”—MICHAEL CHEVALIER, “Travels." During the war of 1812, as the northwest- ern army was engaged in one of its toilsome Governor Harrison brought suit against expeditions, a private soldier sank down be- | a person who had thrown out some malicious neath the hardships of the march and died. hints in reference to his negotiations with General William H. Harrison was careful the Indians. The charge was fresh, the tes- to arrest the progress of the forces in order timony at hand, and a complete investiga- to give this man a Christian burial with coffin tion was had before the Supreme Court. and funeral. As some of the military carpen ... The jury in one hour returned a ver- ters were engaged in preparing the coffin, he dict of four thousand dollars damages for the entered the shop and paced the floor in si. governor. This was an enormous verdict for lence, watching the progress of the work, evi a new country. The defendant's property was dently with his feelings aroused by the cir sold and bought in by the governor's agent. cumstances. One of the soldiers, presuming Shortly afterwards two-thirds of the property perhaps on this exhibition of humane feel was returned by the governor to his slanderer ings, asked the general as to his plans for and the remainder was given to the orphans the future operations of the army. Pausing of soldiers who had fallen in battle.-S. J. in his walk and elevating himself to a com BURR, “Life and Times of William Henry Har- manding height, Harrison asked, "Are you a rison.” soldier, sir?” “Yes." "Then, sir, be one," was the reply; which, with the tone and eye HENRIETTA MARIA, 1609-1669. Queen of the speaker, gave the daring soldier a les- of England. son in subordination doubtless never forgot- The fanatics in the time of Charles I. ig. ten.-Harper's Magazine, July, 1861. norantly applying the text, “Ye know that I had observed at the hotel table a man it is a shame for men to have long hair," cut theirs very short. It is said that the queen, about the medium height and about the age once seeing Pym, a celebrated patriot, thus of sixty years, stout and muscular, yet with cropped, inquired “who that roundhead" was, the active step and lively air of youth. I and from this incident the distinction be. had been struck by his open and cheerful ex- came general and the party were called pression, the amenity of his frank and cer- Roundheads.--Athenæum (Boston), April, tain air of command, which appeared in 1819. spite of his plain dress. “That is,” said my friend, “General Harrison, Clerk of the Cin. You must know that a few days before cinnati Court of Common Pleas.” “What! | the king left Paris I visited the queen of General Harrison of Tippecanoe and the England, whom I found in the apartment of Thames?" "The same, the ex-general, the her daughter, since Madame d'Orléans. conqueror of Tecumseh and Proctor; the aven “You see, sir,” said the queen; "I come here ger of our disasters on the Raisin and at De- to keep Henrietta company; the poor child troit; the ex-governor of the Territory of In- | has lain in bed all day for want of a fire." diana; the ex-senator in Congress; the ex The truth is, the Cardinal having stopped minister of the United States to one of the the queen's pension for six months, trades- South American republics. He has grown men were unwilling to give her credit and old in the service of his country; he has there was not a chip of wood in the house. passed twenty years of his life in those fierce | You may be sure I took care that a princess 277 III. OF THE GREAT Henry Harrison (Wm. 1.), President of Great Britain should not be confined to and the streets adjacent to the prison were her bed the next day for the want of a fag- | crowded by the populace whose remarks and got; and a few days afterwards I exaggerat jibes on the splendid raiment of the king and ed the scandal of this desertion and the his minions more than avenged the captive Parliament sent the queen a present of forty dames. The following morning Henry ar- thousand livres. Posterity will hardly be. rived in Paris in person and, proceeding to lieve that a queen of England, granddaughter the gaol himself, liberated the ladies and paid of Henry the Great, wanted a faggot to light their prison fees. They were courteously dis- & fire in the month of January, in the missed by his majesty with a suitable repri. Louvre, and at the court of France.-CAR mand, but, after some further attempt to en- DINAL DE RETZ, “Memoirs." force the observance of the edict, its evasion HENRY III., 1551-1589. King of France. was tacitly connived at. It is related that upon one occasion the On the cushions by the king lay a number suisses of the Hôtel d'Angoulême had been of little dogs, which Henry sometimes fon- making large sums of money by selling what dled or incited to make a deafening clamor. they pretended to be the water of the Jor The number of lap dogs thus kept in his dan, to give an abundance of milk to wet majesty's apartment often exceeded a hun- nurses. But as it was discovered to be the dred-seldom fewer. One of the favorite water of the river of the Gobelins, which chamberlains, observing that it cost the king was not only useless but unwholesome, they emotion to select from his pack the dogs were attacked before La Tournelle and the which were to accompany him in his daily air last of the Valois (Henry III.] was so shocked ing with Queen Louise, invented a novel ex at the pursuits carried on against his fol. pedient of a light basket, richly lined with lowers that he sent and had the house of the crimson satin, to be slung from the royal President M. Mole set on fire. The servants neck, wherein from twenty to thirty of Hen of the Duke d’Angoulême having barricaded ry's diminutive pets might be comfortably the neighboring streets so that no help could stowed. The king adopted the device, be- be obtained, the house was slowly burned stowing many eulogiums on the ingenuity of without any opposition.-CATHERINE BEARNE, his favorite. ... At the various palaces "Early Valois Queens.” Henry now had two thousand lap dogs. These dogs were divided into bands of six, each half The king during the session of the as. dozen having a keeper, who yearly received sembly continued to employ himself busily on from his majesty a stipend of two hundred the reformation of his household. He also crowns, exclusive of the food consumed by published several edicts tending to promote the animals in his charge. In each palace the domestic prosperity of his people. an apartment adjacent to the royal bed- Amongst other mandates were some severe chamber was appropriated to the dogs and sumptuary laws regulating the attire of the fitted with cushions and baskets lined with ladies of his realm. The extravagance in green velvet for the repose of the king's dress had reached a frightful climax, for the diminutive pets. Sometimes Henry would wives of the burghers, it was stated, arrayed themselves in the habiliments deemed suit- take a sudden disgust and give away his lap dogs and then buy them back again at ex able for a countess in the reign of Francis I. travagant prices. Usually, however, the pres Gold embroideries, silks, velvets and satins ent of a dog from his majesty to one of his were forbidden, under penalties of severe fines, nobles was indicative of a high degree of per- to all women in rank below a president's wife. sonal favor. When the Venetian ambassador The king condescended to enter into minute Lippomano had his audience of farewell, details as to what he deemed to be a sufli- Henry, as a crowning gift and mark of favor, cient wardrobe for the different classes of his female lieges. The edict was received took from his doublet a diminutive white with angry defiance; but as the king was dog of Turkish breed and, after kissing the then in no humor to be disobeyed, he sent little animal repeatedly, gave it to the am- his provost La Perreuse commands to pro- bassador to keep for love of him. Another ceed rigorously against all infractors of the foible which the king at this period pur- new laws. The consequence was that some sued with an eagerness perfectly incredible, fifty or sixty ladies were summarily arrest- was to collect illuminated letters and mono- ed and conveyed from their homes to the grams, also colored effigies of the saints and prison of Fort l'Évêque, all offers to bail the the Madonna. Often the ladies of his court fair prisoners being sternly rejected. This propitiated his majesty by presentation of a rigorous measure created great discontent | packet of these treasures, very greatly to the Henry III. Henry IV. 278 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES destruction of their missals and hours. When whom his spiritual visitant had adjured him he had amassed a sufficient quantity of these to discard. For several nights subsequently, paintings, the king gravely proceeded, with a however, St. Luc plied his tube, his nocturnal few favored attendants, to one or other of admonitions being sedulously strengthened the many oratories or chapels he had estab- by the exhortations and concern expressed by lished in the churches of Paris and amused Joyeuse, by Queen Louise and by his majesty's himself by pasting them on the walls of the confessor, the bishop of Auxerre; for both edifice. these latter personages believed in the reality Voluptuous to excess, his majesty is also of the supernatural visitations. ... M. d'O had now obtained the knowledge he sought devout to superstition. ... Madame de in order to elucidate the mystery. He there- Montpensier procured a tube of brass, which upon instituted so careful a watch that he St. Luc, whose chamber was adjacent to that discovered the stratagem of M. St. Luc, and of his ma jesty, agreed to introduce by per- presently revealed his discovery to the king forating the wooden partition, into the alcove, and even showed his majesty the tube used close to the king's bed, and through which he was to whisper denunciations of divine to transmit the sounds to the royal chamber. Henry's compunctions of conscience immedi- wrath. Accordingly one night Henry was ately evaporated in a transport of rage and he aroused from slumber by a voice close to his decided to inflict a prompt but stealthy ven- ear, uttering words of reproachful admoni- geance on the offenders.-MARTHA WALKER tion. The king at first paid little heed to the FREER, "Henry III.” sounds, believing that he had been dreaming, and again composed himself to sleep. Again Henry III. could not remain in the same a hissing whisper caused his majesty to start room with a cat.-T. F. THISELTON-DYER, from his pillow. Appalled at the super “Royalty in All Ages.” natural sounds, the king, now feeling assured that he was being addressed by an angelic HENRY IV., 1553-1610. King of France. messenger of divine wrath, listened in an Henry d'Albret, his grandfather, made his agony of apprehension and awe. After a time daughter promise to sing a song to him while the mysterious voice ceased and Henry, call she was in labor; in order, said he, "that you ing his valet de chambre from the anteroom, may bring me a child who will neither weep cast himself from his bed on the floor and nor make wry faces.” The princess had forti- remained in that attitude of humiliation tude enough in the midst of her pains to until dawn. When the hour arrived for ad keep her word and sang a song in Bearnois, mission to the royal apartment, the usual her own country language. As soon as Henry reckless and dissipated band waited to give entered the chamber the child came into the his majesty the accustomed réveille-matin. world without crying; his grandfather im. But the king, with wan and downcast coun mediately carried him to his own apartment tenance, passed through their midst without and there rubbed his little lips with a clove accepting any greeting whatever and entered of garlic and made him suck some wine out his private cabinet, the door of which he of a gold cup to make his constitution strong shut. St. Luc, charmed with the success of and vigorous.-M. PEREFIXE, "History of his stratagem, presently asked to speak to Henry the Great." the king on very important matters., He was Henry d'Albret had made his will which admitted with Joyeuse and La Valette. Tak- the princess, his daughter, was very anxious ing his royal master aside, St. Luc then pre- tended to confide to his majesty the terrible to peruse, because it had been told her that this testamentary paper was to her disad- apprehension that had befallen him during vantage and in favor of a lady for whom her the night, when, he said, an angel armed royal parent had entertained tender senti- with a flaming sword had appeared by his ments. Jeanne, however, did not dare to bedside and commanded him under pain of breathe a word upon the subject; but her eternal damnation to renounce his profligate father, being made acquainted with her wish, career and use his influence with his majesty promised to place the will in her hands as to exhort him to repentance. Henry received soon as she should have produced to him this statement as a confirmation of his own the fruit of her loins; but upon condition vision, which, however, he did not impart to that during the period of her labor she would his favorite. When night approached, the sing him a song, "in order that," said he, king, overpowered by his superstitious fears, "you do not produce me a peevish and crying retired to the apartments of Queen Louise | child.” The princess gave her promise and and dispensed with the attendance of those testified so much courage that, notwithstand- 279 Benry ІП. Henry IV. OF THE GREAT ing the pains attendant upon her situation, On these occasions, the good-tempered Henry, she sang a song in the language of Bearne who never could be angry long and who as soon as she heard the king enter the preferred living at peace with a wife he apartment. It was remarked that, in oppo really did not dislike, would send her choice sition to the general course of nature, the morsels from his table, even from his plate. infant was born without screaming or weep If Marie's temper had not reached the level ing; and it might naturally be expected, says of accepting a peace-offering, she would cold- Perefixe, that a prince destined to ensure the ly return the dainties. Court gossip de- joy and prosperity of France would not enter clared that she was afraid of poison.- the world amidst cries and wailings. Imme ELEANOR C. PRICE, "Cardinal Richelieu." diately after the birth of Henry, his grand- All the funeral ceremonial [of Gabriel father transported the boy in the skirt of d'Estrées] was, by the king's express com- his robe to his chamber, and then presented mand, such as was observed at the death of his will, enclosed in a golden casket, to his a member of the house of France. One of daughter, saying, “My daughter, there is the despatches of Franceso Contarini, the what belongs to you,” and then, holding up Venetian envoy, supplies some interesting the child to its mother, he added, "and this is mine.”—W. H. IRELAND, "Memoirs of particulars. In accordance with the usage of the times a wax effigy of the deceased favorite Henry the Great." was prepared and exhibited in solemn state. The midday repast in the Louvre-Henry (Lescure imagines that the corpse was ex-- IV. loved heavy and rich meals-always in hibited, but this was not the case. The cluded four entrées, four soups, a course of practise of setting up wax effigies was very boiled meat, "a ten-pound joint of beef, a old. We are told that Jean Perreal worked side of mutton, a capon, veal and three day and night beside the corpse of Louis chickens,” roasts, "to wit, a shoulder of mut- XIII., preparing the effigy for that monarch's ton, two capons, a brace of game birds, a obsequies.) On its head was set a ducal loin of veal, three chickens and three pig coronet, the body was clad in gold-embroid- eons, a joint of mutton and another of veal.” ered robes, perhaps indeed those which Ga- On Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays these brielle had prepared for her nuptials; and, were reenforced by a capon pastry. A pike | having been thus arrayed, the effigy was or carp helped out the lighter fare on days placed in a sitting posture on a magnificent of fast. The evening menu was a little if at bed-the very one which the deceased had all lighter. At neither meal were vegetables purchased for the chamber of the queens at served; partridges and quail graced the table the Louvre-while above this bed, which was only when the king's shooting had prospered. set on a platform with three steps, there de- The Count of Mantua sometimes added a pended a baldachin of cloth of gold.-E. A. variety by his gifts—from the Duchess of VIZETELLY (Le Petit Homme Rouge), "Fav- Mantua “Bologna sausages and cheese," from Bologna sausages and cheese," from | orites of Henry IV.” the duke presents of fruit and carp. A des. Henry IV. went to Rouen to be present sert was always provided, though it did not appear in the menus which were drawn up by at the assembly of notables. It was here he the chief steward of the queen.-Louis BATIF- made the following celebrated harangue: “I FOL, "Marie de Medici and her Court." have not summoned you as my predecessor did, to induce you to approve of my inten- His wife's freedom began to disturb him. tions: I have assembled you that I might ke- The story runs that on one occasion he went ceive the benefits of your counsels; to give to her room, making sure that he would find ear to them; to follow them; in short, I de- her with a certain Lutheran who was trying sire to place myself under your guidance, a to convert her. He meant to thrash him for desire which is seldom felt by kings, grey- his pains, but when he reached the apart. beards and conquerors, but the immense love ment the bird had flown and he found Mar- I bear my subjects," etc. He made this ha- garet in solitude. He was not a man of rangue in the hall of the house where he took words. “You want to know too many things, up his abode and insisted on having Madame Madame,” he said, and boxed her soundly on la Marquise [Gabrielle d'Estrées] present, the ears.--Edith SICHEL, “Catherine de Me- for which purpose she concealed herself be- dici and the French Reformation." hind some tapestry. The king asked her what Sometimes these quarrels had a comic she thought of his address, to which she side. The queen would refuse to dine as | replied that she had never heard anything usual with the king and would order a better, only she had been very much sur- small table to be brought into her cabinet. 1 prised when he talked of placing himself un- Henry W. Henry ym. 280 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES der their guidance. “Ventre saint gris,” ex The famous saying of Henry, "Paris is claimed the king, "very likely; but I meant well worth a mass," loses somewhat of its with my sword by my side.”-SAINT BEUVE, point when we bear in mind that the occa- "Causeries du Lundi.” sion of its utterance was his second conver- sion, or re-conversion, from expediency. M. After he had selected Pierre Mathieu to Fournier ("L'Esprit dans l'Histoire," p. 211) write a history of himself for his son (the doubts whether Henry ever gave utterance future Louis XIII.) Mathieu one day read to to such a phrase and traces it back to a him a passage respecting his partiality for book of slight authority in which Sully is women. “What is the use of revealing that made to say to the king, “Sire, sire, the crown weakness ?" said Henry. “It will be a lesson is worth a mass."-Quarterly Review, July, for your son," said Mathieu; whereupon the 1869. king, after a pause, replied, “Yes, yes, the whole truth must be told. If you were to The notorious saying so often attributed remain silent about my failings, people would to him, “Paris is well worth a mass,” is, of not believe you respecting the rest. Well, set course, apocryphal so far as he is concerned. them down, then, so that my son may know Whatever may have been his inclination for and avoid them.”—E. A. VIZETELLY (Le Pe. "gasconading” he was too skilful and shrewd tit Homme Rouge), "Favorites of Henry IV.” | a man to have made a remark which would have cast doubt upon the sincerity of his I was present and approached in an agony of grief, seeing the king all covered with conversion, and allowed the people to think that his chief, if not sole, motive in chang- blood, and fearing, with reason, that the ing his religion was the desire to secure pos- stroke was mortal. The king removed our session of his capital. The saying may, per- apprehensions by a composed and agreeable haps, have originated with Sully, not, how- behavior; and we perceived immediately that ever, at the time of the king's abjuration, his lip only was wounded; the stroke hav. but subsequently, when Henry, having be- ing been aimed too high, the force of it was come a Catholic, thought that his Huguenot stopped by a tooth, which it broke. The par- minister ought to act likewise, and asked ricide was discovered without difficulty, him why it was that he did not accompany though he had mixed among the crowd. He him to mass, whereupon Sully is said to have was a scholar, named John Chatel; and read- retorted, “Sire, sire, the crown is well worth ily answered, when he was interrogated, that a mass."-VIZETELLY. he came from the college of the Jesuits, ac- cusing those fathers of being the authors of HENRY VIII., 1491-1547. King of England. his crime. The king, who heard him, said The new duke [of York], though little with a gaiety which on such an occasion few more than three years old, also played a persons could have been capable of, that he profitable, if passive, part in other great af- had heard from the mouths of many persons fairs of state. Six weeks before receiving that the society never loved him and that his new title he was appointed Lord-Lieu- he was now convinced of it by his own.- tenant of Ireland, with Sir Edward Poynings DUKE OF SULLY, "Memoirs." as his able deputy; and he had been nomi. The speech of Henry IV. to the Spanish nated Warden of the Cinque Ports and Con. embassador, when he discovered the king stable of Dover Castle since he was between riding round the room on a stick with his son, nine and ten months old. Among other dig. is well known: “You are a father, Seignor nities crowded upon him in his infancy were Ambassador, and so we will finish our ride." those of Earl Marshal and Warden of the -Quarterly Review, October, 1828. Scottish Marshes, in addition to which he was created a Knight of the Bath and ad- The municipal authorities of Paris hav mitted to the Order of the Garter, being ing requested permission to levy a temporary invested with the last of these honors on May rate on the water supply, to defray the ex 17, 1495, a few weeks before his fourth birth- penses of some meditated festivities, he told day.-FRANK A. MUMBY, “The Youth of them: “Find some other expedient; it be Henry VIII.” longs to our good Lord alone to turn water into wine.”—Quarterly Review, October, 1879. Puebla (representing the Spanish gov. ernment at the English court) reports that The Stuarts should say, as our Henry IV. the king and queen of England were anxious did of the mass, "A crown is worth more that Katherine (of Aragon) should take the than & sermon.”—MARQUIS D'ARGENSON, opportunity of speaking French with her, in “Memoirs." I order to learn the language. “This is neces- 281 Henry IV. Henry VIII. OF THE GREAT sary, because the English ladies do not At Chingford, in Essex, is a house called speak Latin, and much less Spanish. The "Friday Hill House,” in one of the rooms of king and queen also wish that the princess which there is an oak table with a brass should accustom herself to drink wine. The plate thus inscribed: “All lovers of roast water of England is not drinkable, and, even beef will like to know that on this table a if it were, the climate would not allow the loin was knighted by King James I., on his drinking of it.”—MARTIN HUME, “The Wives return from hunting in Epping Forest. ... of Henry VIII." Fuller, in his “Ecclesiastical History," re- lates of Henry VIII. at the Abbey of Read- Extracts from a curious manuscript con- ing, how “a sirloin of beef was set before tain directions for the household of Henry him, so knighted, saith tradition, by this VIII.: His highness's baker shall not put | King Henry.”_T. F. THISELTON-DYER, “Roy. alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten or bean alty in Ali Ages.” flour with the same; and, if detected, shall be put into the stocks. His highness's at- As King Henry VIII. was hunting in tendant shall not steal any locks, keys, tables, Windsor Forest, he either casually lost, or forms, cupboards or other furniture, out of probably wilfully losing himself, struck down, noblemen's or gentlemen's houses where he about dinner time, to the Abbey of Reading goes to visit. Master cooks shall not employ where, disguising himself (much for delight, such scullions as go about naked or lie all much for discovery unseen), he was invited night before the kitchen fire. No dogs to be to the abbot's table, as he passed for one of kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the king's guards, a place to which the the ladies. The officers of his majesty's proportion of his person might properly en- council shall be loving together, no grudg. title him. A sirloin of beef was set before ing or grumbling, nor talking of the king's him (so knighted, saith tradition, by this pastime. The king's barber is enjoined to Henry) on which the king laid on, lustily, be cleanly, not to frequent the company of not disgracing one of that place for which misguided women, for fear of danger to the he was mistaken. “Well fare thy heart king's royal person. There shall be no romp- (quoth the abbot) and here in a cup of sack ing with the maids on the staircase, by which I remember his grace, your master. I would dishes and other things are broken. Coals give a hundred pounds on condition I could only to be used by the king's, queen's and feed as lustily on beef as you do. Alas, my Lady Mary's chambers. The brewers not to weak and squeasie stomach will hardly di. put any brimstone in the ale. Twenty-four gest the wing of a small chicken or rabbit." loaves a day allowed for his highness's grey. The king presently pledged him and heartily hounds.—The Literary Panorama, 1816. thanked him for his good cheer; after which he departed as undiscovered as he came It is a remarkable circumstance, that the thither. Some weeks afterwards the abbot portrait of Henry VIII. was the means of pre was sent for by a pursuivant, brought up to venting a commercial treaty between the London, clapt in the Tower, kept close pris- Portuguese and the king of Borneo. A Por oner and fed for a short time with bread tuguese vessel having touched at that place, and water; yet not so empty his body of opened a trade there with great success. The food as his mind was filled with fears, creat- king received the strangers with special favor ing many suspicions to himself, when and and they displayed before him the presents how he had incurred the king's displeasure. with which they were prepared. Among other At last a sirloin of beef was set before him, things was the marriage of Henry the Eighth of which the abbot fed as a farmer of his and Catherine represented in tapestry. When grange and verified the proverb, that two the king of Borneo saw the bluff figure of hungry meals make the third a glutton. In Henry, as large as life, he bade the Portu: springs King Henry out of a private lobby, guese pack up their presents, take them on where he had placed himself, the invisible board, and leave his dominions immediately. spectator of the abbot's behavior. “My lord,” Ile knew, he said, what they brought him quoth the king, "presently deposit your hun- those figures for; that ugly man was to come dred pounds in gold, or else no going hence all out in the night, cut off his head and take the days of your life. I have been your possession of his dominions. There was no physician, to cure you of your squeasie persuading him out of his imagination and stomach and, here, as I deserve, I demand my the Portuguese were compelled to abandon fee for the same." The abbot down with his a commercial speculation which was so aus. | dust, and glad he had escaped so, riding to piciously commenced.—PERCY, “Anecdotes." | Reading as somewhat lighter in purse, so Henry VII. Hoar, George F. 282 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES much more merry in heart, than when he of Calais contains a most amusing account came thence.-W. A. CLOUSTON, “Choice of the way Henry and Charles made game Anecdotes," citing "Fuller's Ecclesiastical of the poor dowager, who betrayed her too History.” . | evident partiality for the latter. Brandon In the jousts and tournaments (Field of actually went so far on one occasion as to steal a ring from her finger; "and I took the Cloth of Gold, June 24, 1520] the Eng. lish knights appear to have shown more him to laugh,” says Margaret of Savoy, describing this incident, "and said to him strength and vigor and the French more skill that he was un larron—a thief-and that I and agility. Henry himself was a splendid thought the king had with him led thieves archer and was "good to see” in his trials out of his country. This word larron he with the cross-bow. But Fleurange tells us could not understand.” So Henry had to be that on one unlucky day when the two princes called in to explain it to him. His majesty were in the great pavilion together and had next contrived a sort of love scene be- taken some wine, the king of England ex- tween the pair, in which he made the duchess claimed, "My brother, I will wrestle with you," and, seizing the king of France in his Margaret a very laughing stock, by inducing her to repeat after him in her broken Eng. strong arms, sought to overthrow him, but François also was a good wrestler and, being lish the most appalling improprieties, the more skilful, tripped him up and Henry fell princess being utterly ignorant of the mean- ing of the words she was parroting. To lead flat on the ground. He got up in a rage and wished to continue the fight, but the queens her on, Suffolk, who was not a good French interfered and the wrestlers were persuaded scholar, made answer at the king's prompt- to sit down to the supper which awaited ing, to the princess's extraordinary declara- them. . This defeat rankled in the mind of tions, in fairly respectable French. At last, however, the good lady realized the situa- Henry and did much to counteract the good which all the gifts and festal meetings had tion and, rising in dudgeon, declared Bran- don “to be no gentleman and no match for done. The two kings parted with all the her," and thus he lost his chance, though he appearance of cordiality, but Henry VIII. had never lost the great lady's friendship. This scarcely left François I. before he went on to silly prank on the English king's part was Gravelines, where the emperor Charles awaited him and they agreed to a new treaty no doubt the final cause of the rupture of the proposed alliance between Mary Tudor together.-CHRISTOPHER HARE, “Charles de and the Archduke Charles of Castile.- Bourbon." RICHARD DAVEY, “The Sisters of Lady Jane In the summer of 1513, while the king Grey." was sojourneying at Tournay, he received a Francois I., when Henry requested to be visit from the Archduke Charles of Castile permitted to choose a lady of the royal and Austria, and his aunt, the Dowager blood of France for his queen, replied “that Duchess of Savoy, Regent of the Netherlands. there was not a damsel of any degree in These august personages came to congratu- his dominions who should not be at his dis. late the English monarch on the capture of posal.” Henry took this compliment so liter- Tournay from their mutual enemy, Louis XI. ally, that he required the French monarch of France. At this time the Austro-Spanish to bring the fairest ladies of the court to archduke still hoped to secure the hand of Calais, for him to take his choice. The the king of England's handsome sister, Mary French king's gallantry was shocked at such Tudor, who had accompanied her brother to an idea and he replied, "that it was impos. France. Henry did his best to ingratiate sible to bring ladies of royal blood to market himself with the regent, a handsome lady with a foolish, whimpering expression, who, as horses were trotted out at a fair." ... In the succeeding month ... Henry re- if we may judge by her portrait in the museum at Brussels, was most apt to credit iterated his demand that “they should be anything that flattered her fancy. The king brought to Calais for inspection." Chatillon and his favorites, indeed, to amuse her, be- said “that that would not be possible, but haved less like gentlemen than mountebanks. his majesty could send some one to look at Henry danced grotesquely before her and them.” “Pardie!” exclaimed Henry, "how played on the giltrone, the lute and the can I depend upon any one but myself ?" cornet for her diversion, and his boon com Ile was also very desirous of hearing the panions followed their master's example and ladies sing and seeing how they looked when exhibited their accomplishments as dancers singing. “I must see them myself and must and musicians. The contemporary Chronicle | see them sing,” said he. After alternately 283 Henry VII. Hoar, George F. OF THE GREAT · Edmund Randolph gave it as follows: "Tarquin and Cæsar had each his Brutus; Charles the First his Cromwell and George the Third” — "Treason, sir,” exclaimed the Speaker. “And George the Third-may he never have either.” This is, of course, lame and flat, compared with the current version -"and George the Third may profit by their example. If this be treason, make the most of it." Thomas Jefferson, who was a young law student at the time and heard this speech, confirms the popular version, which was first given out by Mr. (afterwards Judge) Tyler, who stood by the side of Jef- ferson on that eventful day.-LYNDON ORR, Munsey's Magazine, November, 1907. wheedling and bullying Chatillon for nearly a year on this subject, Henry reluctantly re- signed his Sultan-like idea of choosing a bride from the beauties of the French court and turned his attentions elsewhere.—AGNES STRICKLAND, “Queens of France.” HENRY, Patrick, 1736-1799. American statesman. It is recorded of Patrick Henry that in his professional practise, by mistake, he made a powerful argument against his client, apparently sufficient to decide the case, till his client crept up in affright and said to him, "Sir, you have ruined me.” “Don't fear,” said Mr. Henry; "you will see what I am after.” To the court and jury he then said, "Such is the argument of the opposite counsel.” He had said more than they could say for themselves and then went on to demolish it all and gained the cause.-CAL- VIN COLTON, "Life and Times of Henry Clay." “Sink or swim; live or die.” These words, used with such effect by the eloquent Patrick Henry, appear in a poem by Rev. Nicholas Noyes, printed at Boston, July 30, 1707. The following is the line: “Then, sink or swim; or live, or die.”—Magazine of American History, January, 1877. It was in the midst of this magnificent debate, while he was descanting on the tyranny of this obnoxious act, that he ex- claimed in a voice of thunder and with the look of a god: “Cæsar had his Brutus- Charles the First his Cromwell--and George the Third -” “Treason!” cried the speaker -"Treason, treason," echoed from every part of the house. It was one of those trying moments which is decisive of character. Henry faltered not for an instant; but ris- ing to a loftier attitude, and fixing on the speaker an eye of the most determined fire, he finished his sentence with the firmest em- phasis—"may profit by their example. If this be treason, make the most of it.” I had frequently heard the above anecdote of the cry of treason, but with such variations of the concluding words, that I began to doubt whether the whole might not be fic- tion. With the view to ascertain the truth, therefore, I submitted it to Mr. Jefferson as it had been given to me by Judge Tyler, and this is his answer: "I well remember the cry of treason, the pause of Mr. Henry at the name of George III., and the presence of mind with which he closed his sentence.” The incident, therefore, becomes authentic history.-WILLIAM WIRT, “Sketches of the Life and Character of Patrick Henry.” Distressed and alarmed at the increase of drunkenness after the Revolutionary War, he did everything in his power to arrest the vice. He thought that the introduction of a harmless beverage, as a substitute for distilled spirits, would be beneficial. To effect this object, he ordered from his mer- chant in Scotland a consignment of barley and a Scotch brewer and his wife to culti- vate the grain and make small beer. To render the beverage fashionable and popular, he always had it upon his table when he was governor during his last term of office; and he continued its use, and drank nothing stronger, while he lived. In his old age the condition of his ner- vous system made the scent of a tobacco pipe very disagreeable to him. The old colored house servants were compelled to hide their pipes and rid themselves of the scent of tobacco before they ventured to ap- proach him. ... They protested that they had not smoked, or seen a pipe; and he in- variably proved the culprit guilty by follow- ing the scent and leading them to the corn- cob pipes hid in some crack or cranny, which he made them take and throw instantly into the fire.—M. C. TYLER, "Patrick Henry," quoting Fontaine Mss. HOAR, George Frisbie, 1826-1904. Amer- ican statesman. I was placed on the Committee on the Revision of Laws. My law practise had been in the interior of the commonwealth. So I had little knowledge of United States juris- prudence. I determined in order to fit my. self for my new duties to make a careful study of the statutes and law administered in the United States courts. I took with me to Washington a complete set of the re- ports of the Supreme Court of the United Hoar, George F. Holt, John 284 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES States and purchased “Abbott's Digest” of sion for listening to their singing, were very those decisions, then just published. The first prominent traits of his character. evening after I got settled I spent in read- He was a great friend of children and ing the decisions of the Supreme Court. I took young people and often carried about quar- the “Digest,” beginning with the letter A, ters and half dollars fresh from the mint reading the abstracts and then reading the to give those he met.-NATHANIEL PAINE and cases referred to. I got as far as Adm and G. S. HALL, "Memoir of George Frisbie Hoar." read the cases relating to Admiralty prac- tise. The next morning the Speaker an HOCHE, Lazare, 1768-1797. French gen- nounced his committees and the House ad eral. journed. After adjournment, Judge Poland, “You might have been worth two hundred Chairman of the Committee on the Revision thousand livres more," observed one of his of Laws, called the committee together and relations, "if you did not thus throw away laid before them a letter he had just received your money to every one that chooses to ask from Mr. Justice Miller of the Supreme for it.” “I should have been a million poor. Court, asking for a change in the law in er,” replied Hoche. “A million! Pray, regard to monitions for summoning defend- where have you such a sum ?” “In the purs- ants in Admiralty. The change had been es of my friends," answered he, “where I made necessary by some recent decisions of should find it this moment had I occasion to the court. The other members of the com- make a collection among them." mittee looked at one another in dismay. None of them was familiar with the question A ball had cut a tree under which the or knew at all what it was all about. I then commander was on horseback; the branches stated to them the difficulty, the necessity for fell about him and wanted but little of crush- a remedy and the recent decisions, giving ing him with their weight; he disengaged them the names of the cases and the volumes himself with his usual presence of mind and where they were to be found. They were all continued to give his orders. He had no quite astonished to find a man from the sooner extricated himself from this entangle- court,ry, of whom probably none of them had ment than another ball killed his horse under ever heard before, having the law of Admir- him; far from being disconcerted at this alty at his tongue's end. If the question had | danger, he took the horse of a dragoon who related to anything in the “Digest” under attended him, and observed with a laugh as Adr, or anything thereafter, I should have he mounted “that the gentlemen on the been found probably more ignorant than they other side seemed determined to make him were. But Judge Poland took me into high serve in the infantry.”-ALEXANDER Rous- favor and I found his friendship exceedingly SELIN, "Life of General Hoche.” agreeable and valuable. I do not remember HOLLAND, Henry Fox, Baron Holland, 1705- that the Committee on the Revision of Laws 1774. English statesman. had another meeting while I belonged to it. -GEORGE F. HOAR, “Autobiography.” Rogers thus described Lord Holland's feel- ing for the arts, “Painting gives him no The chief carnal luxury of my life is in pleasure and music absolute pain.”—THOMAS breakfasting every Sunday with an orthodox | MOORE, “Journals.” friend, a lady who has a rare gift in making It is said that a day or two before his fishballs and coffee. You unfortunate and death, George Selwyn, who had a passion for benighted Pennsylvanians can never know seeing dead bodies, sent to ask how he was, the exquisite flavor of codfish salted, made and whether a visit would be welcome. “Oh, into balls, and eaten of a Sunday morning by all means," said Lord Holland; “if I am by a person whose theology is sound and alive I shall be delighted to see George; and who believes in all the fine points of Cal. I know, if I am dead, he will be delighted to vinism. I am myself but an unworthy her- see me.”—LEIGH HUNT, “Old Court Suburb." etic; but I am of Puritan stock of the seventh generation and there is vouchsafed to Educating His Famous Son me also some share in that ecstasy and a The father of Mr. Fox having resolved dim glimpse of the beatific vision.-MARY E. to take down the wall at the bottom of the CRAWFORD, The National Magazine, October, lane before Holland House, and to have iron 1904, quoting Hoar. palisades put up in its stead, that the pas- His delight in country life and his en- | sengers on the road might enjoy a better joyment of nature, his rare fondness for birds view of the fine antique building, it was and, entirely unmusical as he was, his pas. | necessary to make use of gunpowder to facili- 285 , John OF THE HoltAT F. Hoar, George tate the work. Mr. Fox had promised his rope. "ere it is said that Lord Holland son Charles that he should be present when | excitea n his youthful mind a passion for ever the explosion took place. Finding that play by allowing him five guineas a night to the workmen had completed its fall without be spent in games of hazard.-FELL. giving him notice, he ordered the wall to be rebuilt and when it was thoroughly cemented But in the year of his death Lord Hol- had it blown up again for the gratification of land saved his favorite son from ruin. The crash was hastened by the birth of a son to his favorite.-R. FELL, "Memoirs of Charles James Fox." Stephen, whereby another life was interposed between Charles Fox and the parental wealth. Charles, after he had arrived at the His jest that the boy was born, like a second years of maturity, often boasted that from Messiah, for the destruction of the Jews, fell his earliest infancy he never failed to do wide of the mark. They came within little what he had a mind; it being a principle of destroying him and Holland had to pro- with his kind papa never to check his chil- vide no less than one hundred and forty dren: two instances of this are given in this thousand pounds to save him from bank- young gentleman before he was six years ruptcy.-LLOYD SANDERS, “Holland House old. One day, standing by his father while Circle." he was winding up a watch, "I have a great mind to break that watch," said the boy. HOLT, John, 1642-1710. Chief Justice of “No, Charles," said the father; "that would England. be foolish." "Indeed, papa, I must do it.” During one of his rambles he found himself “Nay," answered the father, “if you have at an inn without money. The daughter of such a violent inclination I won't balk it”; the landlord was suffering from an ague fit, on which he delivered the watch into the which had baffled the doctors; hearing which, hands of the youngster, who instantly dashed Holt proposed to cure her by a talisman and, it against the floor. Another time, while he scribbling a few Greek words on a piece of was secretary of war, having just finished a parchment, desired it to be tied around the long despatch which he was going to send, l arm of the patient. Either faith or accident Mr. Charles, who stood near him with his effected a cure and the grateful landlady hand upon the inkstand, said, “Papa, I have of course declined payment of her bill. Forty a mind to throw this ink over the paper.” years afterwards a poor old woman was tried “Do, my dear," said the secretary, "if it will before him for witchcraft—the overt act be- give you any pleasure." The young gentle- ing the possession of a spell. The Chief Jus- man immediately threw on the ink, and the tice desired that the implement of mischief secretary sat down very contentedly to write might be handed to him and discovered, en- the despatch over again.-B. C. WALPOLE, veloped in bandages, the identical piece of “The Days of the Dandies.” parchment he had given to the landlady. The One night, Lord Holland, when secretary mystery was forthwith expounded to the of state, in the midst of the war, having a jury; it agreed with the story previously told number of important expresses to despatch, by the prisoner; the prisoner was instantly took them home from his office, in order to acquitted, her guest's long-standing debt dis- examine their contents more attentively be | charged with interest; and, it is added, this fore he sent them away. Charles, then about incident came so opportunely to the discom- eight years old, came into the study, to fiture of ignorance and bigotry, as to put a which he had free access, and, taking up one final end to prosecutions for witchcraft in of the packets, which his father had exam- that part of the country.-Edinburgh Re- ined and set apart for sealing, he perused it | view, October, 1846. with much seeming attention for some time, Holt, having some time after committed then expressed his disapprobation of the another of his brotherhood, called John At- contents and threw it into the fire. The sec- kins, to take trial for seditious language, the retary, far from being ruffled by this inci- same Lacy called at the Chief Justice's house dent, or attempting to reprimand his son, in Bedford Row and desired to see him. turned immediately to look for the office copy Servant-"My lord is unwell to-day and can- and with the utmost composure and good not see company.” Lacy (in a very solemn humor made out another.-FELL. tone) ----"Acquaint your master that I must At the age of fourteen Mr. Fox accom see him, for I bring a message to him from panied his father to Spa, at that time a the Lord God." The Chief Justice, having place of fashionable resort of the most dig. | ordered Lacy in and demanded his business, tinguished characters from all parts of Eu- | was thus addressed, "I come to you a prophet Houston, Samuel Huguenots 286 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES from the Lord God, who has sent me to thee Perry,” continued the governor, "can I do and would have thee grant a nolle prosequi anything for you?” Perry presented his lit- for John Atkins, His servant, whom thou hast tle matter, to which Old Sam replied, "Ah, sent to prison.” Holt, C. J.: “Thou art a Perry, I should like to oblige you, but do false prophet and a lying knave. If the Lord you remember, Perry, soon after Jacinto your God had sent thee, it would have been to the name, with others, appeared attached to a attorney-general, for He knoweth that it be paper stating that Sam Houston was a cow- longeth not to the chief justice to grant a ard, a knave, etc.? So, Perry, I can't do it; nolle prosequi; but I, as chief justice, can I'm sorry, Perry, but I can't. Good-by, Per- grant a warrant to commit thee to bear him ry; God bless you, Perry-my boy." And company.” This was immediately done and Perry emitted himself from the premises and both prophets were convicted and punished. returned to his own ranch.-Harper's Maga- -LORD CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Chief Jus zine, March, 1868. tices." When General Houston was governor of HOUSTON, Samuel, 1793-1863. American Texas he was very active and persistent in general and statesman. causing the prosecution of a defaulting offi- cer-So much so, indeed, that the friends of Intelligence reached the family that Sam the accused raised the cry of persecution. had crossed the Tennessee river and gone to The governor, speaking of this to a company live among the Indians, where, from all ac- of gentlemen, declared he had no other motive counts, he seemed to be living much more to than the enforcement of the laws, and said his liking. They found him and began to that he would probably have the opportunity question him on the motives for this novel of convincing the public that he had no feel- proceeding. Sam was now, though so very ing of personal animosity against the man. young, nearly six feet high, and, standing "The evidence against him will be so over- straight as an Indian, replied that "he pre- whelming that any grand jury will find a bill ferred measuring deer tracks to tape—that of indictment,” said the general, "and no he liked the wild liberty of the red men bet- petit jury in the world can fail to convict the ter than the tyranny of his brothers and, if criminal on such evidence. Then, when found he could not study Latin in the academy, he could at least read a translation of Greek in guilty and sentenced, he will change his tune, and he, and his sympathetic friends for him, the woods and read it in peace. So they will appeal to me for executive clemency. could go home as soon as they liked.” ... Then will be my time to show that I have no This wild life among the Indians lasted until prejudice. I shall pardon him; for I shall his eighteenth year.-C. E. LESTER, “Houston never allow such an unmitigated scoundrel and His Republic.” to contaminate the penitentiary of Texas.” Soon after the battle of San Jacinto a -Harper's Magazine, November, 1887. theatrical company visited the city of Hous- During his presidency Congress took an ton. At one of their performances President exception to Houston's oral messages, insist- Houston stepped into the box, wearing a ing that they should be written out, so as to cocked hat with an enormous red feather and be available for reference and as being more the red velvet lining of his coat turned out- respectful. Acceding to their wishes, and the side. Standing in the front of the box until next day being one set apart for the delivery all eyes were turned on him he raised his of his inaugural, he appeared with a roll of finger and, fixing his eye on the leader of the paper in his hand, tied with a ribbon and orchestra, thundered out, "Do President marked in large letters "Inaugural." He Houston the favor to play 'Won't You Come addressed them with the roll in his hand, into My Bower??" waving it gracefully that all might see it, During Sam Houston's governorship of and on conclusion handing it with a bow to Texas an old acquaintance of his went to Aus- the clerk, and stalked out of the chamber. tin to obtain an appointment of Captain of On opening it was found to be a roll of Rangers. Among Houston's peculiarities was | blank paper.-Harper's Magazine, March, his recollection of faces. A man's face once 1868. seen was never forgotten; so when our friend Old General Sam Houston was some time entered his presence he was greeted with, ago in Austin and, as usual, his fresh humor “Ah, Perry, how are you-haven't seen you and racy humor had drawn quite a crowd for twenty years—how have you prospered ?” around him. Among them was Dr. Tims, who The proper answers having been made, Perry was most violently opposed to Houston in really began to have hopes of success. “Well, I politics. The doctor, heated by a remark of 287 Huguenots OF THE GREAT , Samuel HoustonHouston's, exclaimed, "General Houston, I pulled out of it a little wooden heart, the size like you well enough in private and social of a twenty-five cent piece, and presented it life, and believe you to be a gentleman; but, with, “Lady, let me give you my heart.” politically, sir, I would not believe you upon These hearts he whittled all day long in the your oath.” To which the general replied senate and had a jeweler put a little ring in a quiet way, "I would believe you, doctor." in them.-MRS. VARINA DAVIS, “Jefferson "Well, sir," vehemently exclaimed Dr. T., | Davis." "you have a better opinion of me than I have General Houston was as great a whittler of you; for I actually would not believe you, as any Yankee, as every one who ever saw politically, on your oath.” “No, doctor,” re- him in the senate chamber, where a quantity plied General Houston, gravely shaking his of soft pine and a wastebasket were always head; “I have not a better opinion of you furnished him by the attendants, could testi- than you have of me, but I have more polite- fy. I was once present when a countryman ness.”—Harper's Magazine, August, 1859. from Guadaloupe county called upon him While president of the Texan republic while he was governor of this state. he received a challenge to fight a duel with Country wanted to know if he could some person whom he considered his inferior. bring his wife into the office to see [Dr. Green, of Galveston.]--Harper's Maga the governor. “Certainly, certainly,” ex- zine, June, 1874. Turaing to the bearer of claimed Old Sam, with that pleasing grace of the challenge, he said, “Sir, tell your princi which he was master, "by all means invite paſ that Sam Houston never fights down hill.” the good lady in.” The pair soon returned --Harper's Magazine, March, 1868. and had a very pleasant chat with the old hero. Just as they started, Old Sam present- Governor Jones sent him a hostile mes- ed her with a lot of silk winders and other sage; he refused peremptorily. Jones threat- little mementoes of his whittling. The old ened to post him. Houston replied that if he lady laughed very heartily and said, “Well, believed he could persuade the people of Texas to believe him a coward, he was wel- governor, Mrs. Henry McCulloch told me that you would be certain to give me some come to make the experiment and, as to as- silk winders and she told me to ask you to saulting him personally, he was sure the gov- make her a butter paddle.” At this the gen- ernor was too prudent a man to engage in eral and all of us roared. The next time I such an enterprise.-Harper's Magazine, June, called upon him I found him "spreading him- 1874. self” on the butter paddle.-Harper's Maga- He had a great many difficulties about zine, March, 1867. trifles and at one time he was sued in the justice's court at Houston by an Irishman HUGUENOTS. who had dug a well for him. Houston as Old writers give two derivations of the serted that the man had left his tools in word “Iluguenot.” Some say that it came from the well and that this was an offset to his a corruption of the German Eidgenossen, or claim. Judgment was given against Houston "confederates”; others attribute it to Hu- by default and he appealed. On the trial of gues, the old ghost of Tours. In the de- the appeal he claimed that as senator of the serted places he was supposed to haunt, the United States he had been called upon by his hereties held their prêches by night, and, so constituents to make a speech and that this says the legend, the folks of the countryside was a valid reason for his absence, so that learned to call them Huguenots, or followers the case should not have been defaulted. He of Hugues. Modern readers ,may choose could not understand why his appeal was re whichever derivation they please; accuracy jected on this excuse and the dignity of his may perhaps demand the first, but allegory office as senator disregarded.--ALFRED M. prefers the second. For the Huguenots were WILLIAMS, “Sam Houston.” surely the ghosts who haunted the hidden places in the life of Catherine de Medici.- His manner was very swelling and for- EDITH SICHEL, “Catherine de Medici and the mal. When he met a lady he took a step French Reformation.” forward, then bowed very low and in a deep voice said, "Lady, I salute you.” It was an Some etymologists suppose this term de. embarrassing kind of thing, for it was per rived from huguon, a word used in Touraine formed with the several motions of a fenc to signify persons who walk at night in the ing lesson. If she chanced to please him, at streets. And as the first Protestants, like the same or the next interview he took a the first Christians, may have chosen that small snakeskin pouch from his pocket and season for their religious assemblies, through Huguenots Ivan 288 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES fear of prosecution, the nickname of Hugue HUMBERT, 1844-1900. King of Italy. nots may naturally have been applied to An amusing story from their daily life has them by their enemies. Others are of opinion been recently recounted. The king knows that it is derived from a French and faulty absolutely nothing about music and has no pronunciation of the German Eidgenossen, ear for the divine art. The queen has of late which signifies “confederates.”—MOSHEIM'S found it necessary to use glasses when read- "Ecclesiastical History.” ing. His majesty cannot bear to have her put them on, as he declares she is not old These people were called Huguenots be- enough, and whenever she attempts to wear cause the first conventicles they held in the them he remonstrates. "Marguerite,” he ex- city of Tours (where that belief first took claimed one day, "put down those ugly glass- strength and increased) were in certain cel- es. Thou shalt not disfigure thy pretty face lars underground near Hugo's gate, from with them.” She did not obey at once and whence they were by the vulgar called Hugo- her husband exclaimed, "If you do not take nots; and in Flanders, where they went off those hideous glasses I shall sing.” This about in the garb of mendicants, they were threat was sufficient and she took them off at called Gueux.-DAVILA, "Histoire des Guerres once, as the pain of hearing his unmusical Civiles de la France." voice in an attempt at song would be a much This name took its rise from the con greater trial than to renounce her reading for spiracy of Amboise; for when the petitioners a time. fled at that time from fear, some of the "I am too old to wear white gowns any country women said that they were poor longer,” she said recently to her husband fellows, "not worth a huguenot,” which was a with evident regret in her tone. “We shall small piece of money, of less value than a take a fortnight to consider that," he re- denier, in the time of Hugo Capet. From plied. At the end of two weeks a huge case whence, by way of ridicule, they were after was brought to her apartments, filled with wards called Huguenots, which title they beautiful white gowns of every description. likewise gave to themselves when they took With it was a card bearing this brief in- up arms.—MICHAEL DE CASTELNAU, “Me scription, “The king's decision.”—FANNIE C. moirs." | W. BARBOUR, Munsey's Magazine, Dec., 1893. ISABEL, 1566-1633. Queen of the Nether- | himself, whom etiquette forbade to be pres- lands. ent, watched the ceremony from a secret win- A curious incident, which nearly proved dow. fatal to the Infanta in the first hours of her She made a vow, we are told, that until life, illustrates the rigor of court etiquette. Ostend was captured she would not change The queen had omitted to appoint a nurse her linen; which gradually ass'imed that hue from the many applicants for that honor. since known as “couleur Isabelle.” Such an Each was required to prove by an elaborate action, even in an age less nice in matters of pedigree that she was free from taint of | cleanliness than our own, must have passed Moorish or Jewish blood. Inquiries on this for fortitude. point, and also with regard to the orthodoxy of the family and the personal reputation of The hospitable Swiss sent ambassadors the three ladies primarily selected, were not to meet the travelers [Archduke Albert of complete when the child was born. None ad- | Austria and the Infanta Isabel] on their en- ventured to give the command; and until the trance into the territory, and at each canton king could be approached, the physicians con the courtesy was repeated, and the cavalcade sulted, and the lady required sent for, the in was conducted to the confines of the next can- fant pined and appeared to be in a dying | ton. Nor did they come empty-handed. The condition. But by August 25th, all danger ambassadors were accompanied by thirty or seeming over, she was baptized in the royal forty of their countrymen, each carrying in chapel at Segovia, by the papal nuncio, the either hand a bottle of wine, which was de- Archbishop of Rossano. The ceremony was posited on the ground in such a way that splendid, but without the great magnificence Isabel and her husband were surrounded by lavished at a later period upon the many | bottles. The quaintness of the custom, which short-lived infants of Philip IV. The king was accompanied by speeches in German of 289 Ivan OF THE GREAT Inguenots great length, filled the Infanta with mirth; low with a handsome largess, and set fire to but the kindliness of the mountain-folk could and burned up all the other houses in the vil- not but please her.-L. KLINGENSTEIN, “The lage, playfully exhorting the inhabitants to Great Infanta.” charity and the entertainment of strangers and that it were good for them to try how IVAN, 1530-1584. Czar of Russia. excellent it was to be outdoors on a cold The bride had been chosen, this time, ac- winter night. It was his custom to associate cording to the accepted rule. All the mar with thieves and robbers in disguise. Once he riageable girls in the empire belonging to the went so far as to advise them to rob the class of "the men who serve" had been or imperial exchequer, "for," said he, “I know dered to repair to Moscow. A huge building, the way to it." But upon this in a moment containing many rooms, each with twelve one of the fellows up with his fist and struck beds in it, had been prepared for their recep him a hearty good blow in the face, saying, tion. On the occasion of Vassili's first mar “Thou rogue! Wilt thou offer to rob his riage, five hundred beauties, according to majesty who is so good to us? Let us go Francesca da Collo, or fifteen hundred, ac and rob some rich boyar who has cozened his cording to Heberstein, had thus been brought majesty out of vast sums." Ivan was might- together. These figures probably apply to ily pleased with this fellow and at parting two successive choices out of the general | changed caps with him, bidding him meet him mass of competitors, and a preliminary selec the next morning in the Dravetz, a place in tion had no doubt been made in the various the court where the emperor was accustomed provinces. At Byzantium, where the same to pass by, "and there,” said he, “I will bring practise was in vogue, the provincial gover thee a good cup of aqua vita and bread.” nors received detailed instructions for the The next morning the thief was there and, purpose, with directions as to the height and being discovered by his majesty, was called other qualifications required. When the sera up, admonished to steal no more, preferred to glio had received all its inmates the sover- | high dignity about the court and appointed eign, accompanied by one man, chosen among chief commissioner of the detective force.- his oldest courtiers, took his way there. He The Antiquary, January, 1881. walked through all the rooms and presented On a certain festival he played mad each fair lady with a kerchief embroidered pranks, which caused some Dutch and Eng- with gold and gems, which he threw upon lish women to laugh, and he, noticing this, her bosom. His choice once made, gifts were sent all to the palace, where he had them bestowed upon the companions of the bride, stripped stark naked before him in a great and they were sent back to their own homes. room and then commanded four or five After this fashion, in the year 1547, the bushels of peas to be thrown on the floor and Tsar's choice fell upon Anastasia, the father- made them pick them all up one by one, and, less daughter of lourievitch Kochkine, of an when they had done, gave them wine and ancient boyar family.-K. WALISZEWSKI, bade them heed how they laughed before an "Ivan the Terrible.” emperor again. He sent for a nobleman of One night in disguise he sought a lodging Kasan, who was called Pleasheare, which is in a village near the city of Moscow, but in “bald," and the vayvode, mistaking the word, vain, for no one would let him in; but at thought he sent for a hundred baldpates and last one poor fellow, whose wife was momen therefore got together as many as he could, tarily expecting to become a joyful mother, some eighty or ninety, and sent them up opened his door and admitted the apparently speedily with an excuse that he could find exhausted beggar. In the course of the night no more in his province and asking pardon. the child was born and the vagrant, getting The emperor, seeing so many, crossed himself himself gone, told the man he would bring and, finding out how the mistake occurred, him some godfathers the next day. Ac made the baldpates drunk for three days and cordingly the next day the emperor and many | then sent them home again.-WIRT GERRARE, of his nobles came and presented the poor fel. | "Story of Moscow," quoting Collins. Jackson, Andrew 290 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES JACKSON, Andrew, 1767-1845. American disapproval of a portion of his brethren and soldier and statesman. was at length openly and formally accused Several races having been run, there was a of heresy. An evening was appointed for the pause for dinner, which pause was duly im- investigation of the charge. General Jack- proved. The long table was full of eager son, Mrs. Jackson and a lady of their house- diners; General Jackson presiding at one end; hold were in prompt attendance to stand by a large number of men standing at the sides their friend in his time of trouble. At nine of the tables waiting for a chance to sit o'clock in the evening the parson arose to down; and all the negroes of the neighbor- reply to the accusation, or, rather, to state hood employed as waiters who could look at fully and precisely what his opinions were a plate without its breaking itself. A roar- and to show that they accorded with the writ- ing tornado of horse talk half drowned the ings recognized by the church as authorita- tive. His address was perhaps the longest mighty clatter of knives and forks. After and, to a man like General Jackson, certainly the dinner had proceeded awhile, it was ob- served by General Jackson and those who sat the least interesting ever delivered in Tennes- near him that something was the matter at see. After the first hour the congregation the other end of the table-a fight, probably. began so to melt away that by eleven o'clock There were a rushing together of men and evi- there were not fifty persons in the church. dent excitement. Now “difficulties” of that The eager parson, however, kept on ardently kind were so common at that day, whenever stating his points and arranging his texts, regardless of the emptying pews; for there large numbers of men were gathered together, that the disturbance was little more than sat General Jackson, in the middle of the mentioned, if alluded to at all, at Jackson's church, bolt upright, with his eyes intently end of the table, where sat the magnates of fixed on the speaker. Midnight arrived. the race. At length, some one, in passing by, There were then just four persons in the was heard to say, in evident allusion to the church-the party from the Hermitage and difficulty, “They'll finish Patten Anderson the lady to whom the reader is indebted for this time, I do expect.” The whole truth this story. The general still listened with a look of such rapt attention that he seemed to flashed upon Jackson and he sprang up like a man galvanized. How to get to the instant produce upon the speaker the effect of a large rescue of his friend? To force a path through assembly. “I was dying to go," said my in- the crowd along the sides of the table would formant, “but I was ashamed to be outdone have taken time. A moment later the tall by General Jackson, who was more fit to be in bed than any one who had been present, general might have been seen striding to- and so I resolved to stay as long as he did, wards the scene of the danger on the top of the table, wading through the dishes, and if I dropped asleep upon the floor.” The par- son wound up his discourse just as the clock causing hungry men to pause astonished, with morsels suspended in the air. As he struck one. General Jackson went up to him neared the crowd, putting his hand behind as he descended from the pulpit and con- him in his coat pocket-an ominous move- gratulated him heartily upon his triumphant vindication.-JAMES PARTON, “Life of An- ment in those days and susceptible of but one drew Jackson." interpretation-he opened his tobacco box and shut it with a click so loud that it was heard A friend of Mr. Clay's, Mr. Davis, speak. by some of the bystanders. “I'm coming, | ing of Jackson's proverbial obstinacy, said Patten,” roared the general. “Don't fire,” | that one day, looking at a horse, Jackson re- cried some of the spectators. The cry of marked, “That horse is seventeen feet high." "Don't fire" caught the ears of the hostile “Seventeen hands, you mean, general.” “What crowd, who looked up and saw a mad Colos did I say?” “You said seventeen feet." sus striding toward them, with his right hand “Then, by the Eternal, he is seventeen feet behind him, and slaughter depicted in every | high.”—GEORGE P. A. HEALY, The North lineament of his countenance. They scat American Review, November, 1890. tered instantaneously, leaving Anderson alone When I lived in Carthage, General Jack- and unharmed. son passed through the town on the way home During the Creek war that followed, Par: from the Burr trial. The tavern where he son Craighead gave to General Jackson the stayed was at once crowded with people. He support of his eloquence and influence. Years ordered the customary treat all round. A after the patriotic clergyman incurred the man in the crowd sneered out something 291 Jackson, Androw OF THE GREAT about "your friend Burr." Jackson's glass After the termination of the Seminole was at his lips, but he threw the whiskey | campaign, General Jackson visited Washing. into the speaker's eyes.-H. S. TURNER, ton City, and during his stay there, having Magazine of American History, May, 1892, occasion to supply himself with a nether gar- quoting Colonel Robert Chester. ment, employed a fashionable tailor named The groom of “Old Truxton," a negro Ballard to make it. Ballard, who was a very named Ephraim, whom, by the way, the gen- pompous little fellow and very fond of being eral always called Ephraham, complained recognized by great men who had been his one day that a white man named Grayson customers, a few days after he had finished had struck him with a riding whip at Leba- the unmentionables, seeing the general in non. Jackson forthwith went to Lebanon, front of Tennison's hotel in conversation hunted up Grayson and beat him with a with some gentlemen, stepped up and spoke heavy cane so severely that he was laid up to him. The general, thinking him some dis- for four or five weeks, and warned him that tinguished individual, very cordially gave if he ever touched “Ephraham” again-or any him his hand, but not remembering him, in a whisper inquired his name. To which Bal- other "servant” of his-he would shoot him on sight.-A. C. BUELL, "History of Andrew lard replied, "I made your breeches.” The Jackson." general, deceived by the sound, immediately turned to the company and introduced him as He never learned to write the English Major Breeches--a title which poor Ballard language correctly, though he often wrote it was afterwards obliged to wear to the day eloquently and convincingly. He never of his death.-Harper's Magazine, December, learned to spell correctly, though he was a 1852. better speller than Frederick II., Marlbor- ough, Napoleon or Washington.-PARTON. When sitting as judge of the Supreme Court of Tennessee, an atrocious culprit es- General Jackson himself, to the end of caped from the custody of the sheriff, seized his life, never liked to begin anything of a loaded musket with a bayonet, placed him- consequence on Friday, and would not, if it self in the angle of two stone walls and could be avoided without serious injury to swore he would shoot the first and bayonet some important interest.-PABTON. the second man that attempted to take him. Miss Vaughan, the handsome and accom The sheriff reported the fact to the judge. plished niece of the British minister, said to “Summon one hundred men then,” said Judge him, “Mr. President, you and General Wash Jackson. It was done but they also feared to ington enjoy a unique fame. No one else has arrest him. Upon a second appeal, “Summon ever defeated my countrymen." "That, my me then," said the judge. It was done. He dear lady, is because we were descended from descended from the bench, approached the your countrywomen,” he retorted.-BUELL. culprit with a stern countenance and digni- Once when he was president a highly ac- fied firmness, seized the musket with one complished Baltimore lady--no less a person- hand, the culprit with the other and handed age than the wife of Jerome Bonaparte-said him over to the sheriff.-S. P. WALDO, “Me- to him, “General, there must be a sensation moirs of Andrew Jackson” (1818). of exalted pride in feeling that you hold the At Jonesborough a desperate man of place once held by Washington.” With his giant frame had been indicted for cutting courtliest bow and most winning smile he re- off the ear of his infant, while in a state of plied, "Yes, madame; it is a sensation not drunkenness. The sheriff informed Judge unlike that which a gentleman must feel Jackson that the brute was in the court when he is honored by the society of Napo house yard, armed with a dirk and two pis- leon Bonaparte's sister-in-law.”—BUELL. tols, and that he refused to be arrested. “He When General Jackson objected in 1845 must be taken," said the judge; “summon the to Polk's selection of James Buchanan for people to your aid." The sheriff cunningly Secretary of State in his cabinet, Polk plead waited until the court adjourned for dinner, ed, “But, general, you yourself appointed when he summoned the judge as a part of the him minister to Russia in your first term." posse comitatus. “I will attend," promptly "Yes, I did," retorted the old commander responded Jackson, "and see that you do your quickly; "it was as far as I could send him duty.” Then, taking a loaded pistol, he said out of my sight and where he could do the | to the sheriff, “Advance and secure the mis- least harm. I would have sent him to the creant.” The criminal's eyes flashed with North Pole if we had kept a minister there.” anger and desperate resolution. Seeing the sheriff hesitate, Judge Jackson advanced and, -BUELL. Jackson, Andrew 292 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES fixing his keen eye upon the felon, he bade the states of Kentucky, Tennessee, Louisiana him surrender instantly. The lip of the and Mississippi, and among them were of strong man quivered; the weapons fell from course many of the rougher character. The his hands and he stammered out, “I will sur pleasant raillery, which is the very zest of render to you, sir, but to no one else.” life, when played off by one gentleman upon Harper's Magazine, January, 1855. another, was unfortunately practised upon a His personal courage almost instantly captain of a company, who took it in high dispersed a mob collected for the purpose of dudgeon. In imitation of the names of In- abusing him. By exposures of stupendor: 3 dian chiefs, his men called him Captain Flat- land frauds he had exasperated many people foot. He remonstrated against it to Gen. in the vicinity of Jonesborough and a regi- eral Jackson, who pleasantly remarked: ment under a militia colonel collected there "Really, captain, it is difficult getting along on the morning of the first day of court to with these gay young fellows; but so long punish the judge. Jackson had been so sick as they toil at the lines with such vigor and on his journey that he was compelled to re- fight the enemy with such courage, we offi- tire to his bed on his arrival. A few mo- cers must overlook a little innocent levity. ments afterwards a gentleman came in great Why, captain, they call me Old Hickory, and haste to inform him that a mob was in front if you prefer my title to yours I will readily of the house, prepared to tar and feather him. make an exchange.” The captain retired, He begged Jackson to bar his door imme- proud of the title of Captain Flatfoot.-WAL- diately and avoid the indignity. The judge DO. (According to Philo A. Goodwin, “Biog- immediately arose, threw the door wide open raphy of General Jackson” (1832), the cap- and said, "Give my compliments to Colonel tain at first insisted on resigning because his H., and tell him my door is open to receive men called him Pewter Foot and was quieted him and his regiment whenever they choose by the offer to exchange nicknames and a to call upon me, and I hope the colonel will promise-after the war-of a court martial have the chivalry to lead his men, not to fol. to redress the wrongs of both.) low them.” Abashed at this bold message, One of the most characteristic anecdotes and filled with admiration for the manly of General Jackson is related with a great courage of an unarmed invalid, the mob in deal of zest by General Collum, who was, as stantly dispersed and the leader, making a he says, “raised under the shadow of the humble apology, remained an unwavering Hermitage.” As General Jackson's second friend of Jackson ever afterwards.—Harper's term was drawing to a close, the politicians Magazine, January, 1855. were anxious to get his "preferences." It The general and his men were equally was suspected that he had determined to go destitute and with eagerness seized upon any. for Mr. Van Buren, but no overt demonstra- thing which the forest presented to gratify the tion had yet been made. A number of Mr. cravings of hunger. While marching with the Calhoun's shrewdest friends, hoping the old van of his army, General Jackson observed general might be induced to go for their under an oak tree a quantity of acorns, which favorite, managed to get an invitation to dine tempted his appetite. Dismounting, he gath- at the White House, and amid the genialities ered some handfuls of them into his pocket of wine and familiar conversation the absorb- and, holding his bridle in one hand, sat down ing subject of “the succession” was brought on the roots of a tree to enjoy his repast, while forward and cautiously narrowed down to the rear came up. A soldier observing him in the important point of the old general's pref. the act of eating and supposing that he had erences. The old man appeared to be per- taken care to provide for himself while his fectly unsuspecting, but finally said he "was men were starving, approached and demanded | in favor of Mr. Van Buren.” One of the in- something to eat. "I never turn away the quisitors, not content, asked, “General, who hungry,” said the general, "while I have any. is your second choice?” “By the Eternal,” thing to give them.” Thrusting his hand said Old Hickory, growing impatient, while into his pocket and offering the soldier a his eyes fairly flashed with excitement, “By few acorns, he added, “I will most cheerfully the Eternal, sir, I never had a second choice divide with you such food as I have.”—AMOS in my life."--Harper's Magazine, July, 1854. KENDALL, "Life of General Andrew Jackson" The following incident, which has been (1815). sent us by a correspondent in Albany, in The troops before New Orleans embraced this state, "for insertion” and preservation many of the first young gentlemen, in point in “The Drawer," we are informed may be of talents, education, family and fortune, in | relied upon as perfectly true. The incident, 293 Jackson, Andrew OF THE GREAT it may be added, occurred in the year 1834, “who is it?” The endorsement was shown twenty years ago, and was known to many of him. He turned pale, then red; then begged General Jackson's friends at the time: A the auctioneer to wait a few moments; then widow lady, in rather straitened circum went out and in a very short space of time stances, had been keeping a boarding-house returned with the money, which was at once in Washington City; and during the general paid over to the widow, to the gratification prostration of active business, growing out of of all parties. It would not have been very the currency arrangements of that date, had strange if this story should have transpired become in arrears; and that she might be | at once; nor would it have been very wrong enabled to pay some of her most urgent if the Jeremy Diddler had been turned neck debts, sent such of her furniture as she over heels out of office; but the following is could spare to auction. The purchaser was the only sequel: P. kept quiet in relation a clerk in one of the government offices; one to the subject for years; but finally, on a of those "loafers," of which there have al remark being made in his presence that ways been too many at Washington and else "General Jackson never endorsed for any. where, who run in debt as far as they can body whatever,” remarked that he himself obtain credit and without ever intending to knew better, for the general once endorsed pay. The lady called on the auctioneer, the for him and he produced as evidence the very auctioneer called on the official, who pro note, to the great surprise of all who were posed to pay as soon as his month's salary not acquainted with the circumstances of the was due. The month rolled round and June case. --Harper's Magazine, September, 1854. succeeded March, and September June, with- This anecdote was related to the author out payment being made, to the great dis- many years ago by the veteran and famous tress of the widow and uneasiness of the shipbuilder, Charles H. Cramp: In 1833, auctioneer. After further application the while the Constitution was rebuilding at the officeholder refused absolutely to do anything, Boston navy yard, the commandant there was alleging that it was wholly out of his power Jesse D. Elliott, who, as a lieutenant, served to pay. The sum was too large for the auc- with such conspicuous gallantry under Perry tioneer to pay out of his own pocket, or he on Lake Erie. Captain Elliott was an ardent would have paid it himself, so deeply did he admirer of General Jackson and when the feel for the poor creditor. In this per- president visited Boston in 1833 conceived plexity he concluded to call upon the presi- the idea of using his bust in woodcarving as dent and state the case, hoping that he might a new figure-head for the famous old frigate. suggest some mode of relief. He waited there- ... An East India captain in the service fore upon General Jackson with his narra- of Messrs. William and Henry Lincoln, great tive. When he had heard the story the old shipping merchants of the time, named Sam- man's eyes fairly flashed fire. "Have you uel M. Dewey, was a strong anti-Jackson man. got Mr. P.'s note?” asked Old Hickory. "No," ... In the privacy of a select circle he was the reply. "Call on him at once then announced his intention of sawing off the and, without speaking of the purpose for obnoxious head. . . . Taking advantage of which you want it, get his negotiable note a dark, rainy night he obtained a small boat, and bring it here." The auctioneer accord- rowed out under the bow of the ship, climbed ingly asked P. for his note. “What do you up by means of the bobstay and “martingale" want with the note?” asked the office holding to the cutwater and with a well-greased "loafer"; "I don't know of anybody who handsaw soon severed the head. . . . When would take it.” But sitting down and writ- President Jackson was informed of it he ing it, he added, “There it is—such as it is." seemed more inclined to censure the com- The auctioneer promptly returned to the mandant who had made such use of his bust president and handed him the note. He sat down and, without saying a word, wrote on without authority than the bold practical the back of the paper, “Andrew Jackson." joker who had subjected him to vicarious de. “Now, sir," said the general, "show Mr. P. capitation. Concerning the latter he said- the endorsement and if he does not pay it thinking probably he was some one connect- just let me know it.” The first man the ed with the navy, "Of course, he is a grand auctioneer met as he entered Gadsby's Hotel rascal, whoever he may be. But I'll bet he's was Mr. P. "Ah, how d’ye do?” said he; | a fellow who will fight if you get him started "have you passed the note?” “Not yet," right. Such daring as that, actuated by said the other, “but I expect to, without proper motive, would nerve a man to go out much trouble, for I have got a responsible in a boat and put a Bushnell torpedo under endorser upon it.” “Nonsense,” said P.; the bow of an enemy's ship on our coast in Jackson, Andrew Jackson, “Stonewall" 29+ WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES time of war. Should he be found out I don't his return from the campaign he took the know whether I would break him or promote child home, named him Lincoyer, and with him. It would depend on the cut of his the cordial aid of Mrs. Jackson raised him as jib,' as the sailors say." Subsequently it tenderly as if he had been his own ron. was proposed to place the general's bust on KENDALL the figurehead of the 74-gun ship North Caro- lina, but he peremptorily vetoed the sugges- I arrived at his house one wet, chilly eve. tion. A year or so later Captain Dewey, to ning in February and came upon him in the relieve from suspicion an officer or two of twilight, sitting alone before the fire, a lamb the sloop of war Cyane who had been accused and a child between his knees. He started of sawing off the head, openly avowed the a little, called a servant to remove the two act and sent his trophy to Washington, where innocents to another room, and explained to it was shown to the general, who merely re- me how it was. The child had cried be- peated what he had said about the affair. cause tiie lamb was out in the cold and Of course Captain Dewey was liable to prose- begged him to bring it in—which he had done cution for destroying public property, but to please the child, his adopted son, then Jackson ordered that the matter be ignored. not two years old. ... The son of the He received the captain himself pleasantly. famous Daniel Boone had come to Nashville BUELL. on his father's business, to be detained some When the twenty-first congress aga weeks, and had his lodgings at a small tav- ern towards the lower part of the town. sembled, on December 7, 1829, General Jack- General Jackson heard of it; sought him out; son sent in a message which naturally at- found him; took him home to remain as long tracted some attention. Meeting his old and as his business detained him in the country, intimate friend, General Armstrong, General saying, “Your father's dog should not stay Jackson said, “Well, Bob, what do the peo- in a tavern, where I have a house."--THOMAS ple say of my message?” “They say," re- H. BENTON, “Thirty Years' View.” plied General Armstrong, “that it is first rate, but nobody believes that you wrote it." General Brinkerhoff, of Ohio, who was tu- “Well,” good-naturedly replied Old Hickory, tor at the Hermitage many years ago, tells "don't I deserve just as much credit for pick- me that Andrew Jackson wore a medallion of ing out the man who could write it?”—The his wife Rachel and that while he was in the Atlantic Monthly, April, 1880. White House it was his custom to prop this Among the slain was found an Indian picture up against the Bible on the table at woman with an infant boy unhurt sucking his bedside before he retired in such a way her lifeless breast. The little orphan was that it would be the first thing his eyes would carried to camp with the other prisoners and fall upon in the morning. Jackson never re- General Jackson attempted to hire some of covered from the shock of his wife's death, the captive women to take care of him. They which occurred just after his election to the refused, saying, “All his relations are dead; presidency. It is said that he could hardly kill him too." The general had a little brown be prevailed upon to part with her body but sugar left and he directed his attendants to held it tightly in his arms until it was al- make feed of sugar and water for the child most forced from his embrace.—FRANK G. until he should reach Huntsville, where he CARPENTER, Lippincott's Magazine, July, sent him to be nursed at his expense. Upon | 1886. 295 Jackson, Andrew Jackson, “Stonewall" OF THE GREAT JACKSON, THOMAS JONATHAN (STONEWALL), 1824-1863. American General. SOURCES ADDEY, MARKINFIELD, “Life of Thomas J. / GORDON, GENERAL JOHN B., “Reminiscences Jackson." | of the Civil War.” ALFRIEND, EDWARD M., Lippincott's Maga- | Lippincott's Magazine. zine. MAURY, GENERAL D. H., “Recollections of BORCKE, HEROS von, Blackwood's Magazine. a Virginian." BRADFORD, GAMALIEL, The Atlantic Monthly. MOSBY, COLONEL JOHN S., H unsey's Maga- COOKE, JOHN ESTEN, "Stonewall Jackson." zine. DABNEY, GENERAL R. L., “Life of Lieuten POLLARD, E. A., "Early Life, Campaigus ant-General Jackson." and Public Services of Robert E. Lee.” GITTINGS, JOIN G., “Personal Recollections TAYLOR, GENERAL RICHARD, The North of Stonewall Jackson.” American Review. He borrowed a friend's horse to ride to Clarksburg, where he expected to take the stage, promising to leave the animal at a certain stable in the town, but upon reaching the place he found that the stage was several miles upon its way. This was a serious dis- appointment to the ardent youth and a friend, seeing his trouble, urged him to ride to the next town, where he could come up with the vehicle, promising to send after the bor: rowed horse and return it to its owner. The temptation to accept this offer was great. The roads were ankle-deep in mud and the stage rapidly rolling on its way; the only obstacle was the promise to leave the horse at Clarksburg. He declined the friendly offer, delivered the horse at the appointed place and, shouldering his baggage, set off on foot through the mud to catch the stage. He came up with it and proceeded to Washing- ton. This occurred in June, 1842. Jackson's application was successful and on the first of July in the same year he was admitted a cadet at West Point.-COOKE. Reconnoitering the enemy's front on one occasion, in the winter of 1862, when pru- dence forbade the use of fire, he became so chilled that his medical attendant urged him to take some stimulant. There was nothing at hand but some ardent spirits and he consented to take some. As he experi- enced a difficulty in swallowing it, and it seemed to produce a sensation of choking, his friend asked him if it was very unpleasant. "No," he said; “I like it; I always did, and that is the reason I never use it.” At an- other time he took a long and exhausting walk with a brother officer, who was also a temperate and God-fearing man. The walk terminating at his quarters, he proposed to General Jackson, in consequence of their fatigue, to join him in a glass of brandy and water. "No," he said; “I am much obliged, but I never use it. I am more afraid of is than of Yankee bullets.”-DABNEY, It is stated that he used to fancy that he suffered from consumption and that he should die a painful death. He was also possessed with the notion that he was in danger of having his limbs paralyzed and he would pump his arm for many minutes, counting the strokes, and feeling annoyed be- yond measure whenever his companions inter- rupted him in his count. He was accustomed to sit upright at his meals and had a curious way of holding up his head very straight, whilst his chin would appear as if it were trying to get up to the top of his head. Another of his eccentricities was a remark- able precision as to the time he took his meals and he was so particular in this re- spect that he would lay his watch before him on the table at the hour of meal and if the latter were not ready at the precise moment appointed he would obstinately refuse to partake of it.-ADDEY. At that time he was convinced that one of his legs was bigger than the other and that one of his arms was likewise unduly heavy. Ile had acquired the habit of raising the heavy arm straight up so that, as he said, the blood would run back into his body and lighten it. I believe he never after relin- quished this peculiar practise, even upon the battle-field.-MAURY. Seymour amused himself by learning to play the flute, which instrument Jackson also felt an inclination to learn. To accomplish this he went to work with accustomed vigor and perseverance; but he was never enabled to master even the most simple air, and at. last gave up his attention to the goddess of music, after having for six months unsuc- Jackson, “Stonewall" 296 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES cessfully courted her in an attempt to master "Well, Major Jackson, I reckon it is because the first bar of “Love Not.”—ADDEY. there is no telegraph between the two places." He delighted in listening to music, both “You are right, sir," replied Jackson, who instrumental and vocal, but he had so little had suddenly renewed his composed expres. talent for it that it was with difficulty that sion; "you can take your seat." An outburst he could distinguish tunes. When he heard of laughter from the class greeted this pas- that the tune “Dixie” had been adopted by sage at arms in which the professor was over- the Confederacy as the national air, he felt thrown, but the unwonted display of humor that he ought to know it when he heard it. had apparently exhausted Jackson's appre- So, during the first visit I paid him in camp ciation of that quality for the time. He he requested me to sing the air to him until called the class to order and calmly con- he could impress it on his memory so as to tinued the subject of the recitation as if be able to recognize it. It was a tedious nothing had happened. We give this inci- service and became so perfectly ridiculous dent upon good authority. It is the first from his oft-repeated command, "Again," and last attempt at a practical joke which "Again,” that it finally ended in hearty we find in Jackson's life.-COOKE. laughter on both sides.-MOSBY, Yunsey's When age and religion came upon him Magazine, June, 1912. he used still to indulge, for exercise, in an One day Jackson informed his class | occasional polka, “but," as Mrs. Jackson that the clock in front of the Institute remarks deliciously, “no eye but that of his was not correct and declared his intention to wife was ever permitted to witness this ascertain by scientific means the exact time. I recreation.” In his family he was tender, He accordingly marched out to the parade affectionate, playful, sympathetic. "Ilis aban- ground, with the class at his heels, to take don was beautiful to see, provided there an observation. The result was amusing were only two or three people to see it.”— and delightful to the cadet heart. He fin BRADFORD, The Atlantic Monthly, June, 1911. ished his work about half past twelve in the day and to his profound astonishment dis- Devotee covered that it was near seven in the even- Thus he carried out his self-denial in ing. The cadets set up a shout and, after the use of his eyesight so rigidly that even a looking around him in incredulous surprise letter received on Saturday night, if it was for some time, Jackson joined in the general only one of compliment or friendship, was laughter. It was soon discovered that the not read by him until Monday morning, for instruments were out of order but the cadets his Sabbaths were sacredly reserved from the did not suffer this fact to lessen their ap. smallest secular distractions. If his friend preciation of the joke.--COOKE. exclaimed, “Surely, major, your eyes would One morning in 1858 he called up a mem not be injured by the reading of one letter ber of the graduating class and with pro more," his answer was, “I suppose they found gravity propounded the following sci would not, but if I read this letter to-night, entific question: "Why is it impossible to which it is not truly necessary to do, I shall send a telegraphic despatch from Lexington be tempted to read something else that inter- to Staunton ?” The cadet reflected for some ests me to-morrow night, and the next, so moments and then replied that the expla that my rule would be broken down. Then nation of this phenomenon doubtless lay in my eyesight would undoubtedly be injured. the fact that the amount of iron ore in the But if I were to incapacitate myself, by acts mountain drew the magnetic current from not wholly necessary, for my duties to my the wires. A covert smile touched upon employers and my pupils in this institute, I Jackson's features, fled away, and he said, should commit sin.” And once, when his most "No, sir; you can take your seat." Another intimate friend knew that he had received a was called up and he too failed to explain letter of affection late on Saturday night, the mystery. A second-then a third-were the question was asked as they were walking equally unsuccessful, Jackson listening to to church on Sabbath morning, “Major, you their theories with profound attention, but surely have read your letter ?” “Assuredly with the same sly smile which had greeted not,” said he. “Where is it?" said his friend. the first solution. This smile probably at “Here," said he, tapping the pocket of his tracted the attention of the next cadet who coat. "What obstinacy,” exclaimed his was called and threw a sudden light upon friend; "do you not know that your curiosity the subject. His countenance lit up; his to learn its contents will distract your at- lip broke into a smile in return and he said, ' tention from divine worship far more than if 297 Jackson, “Stonewall” OF THE GREAT you had done with reading it? Surely, in should be set apart for religious services, to this case to depart from your rule would be be performed in all respects as on the Sab- promotive of a true Sabbath observance in bath.–POLLARD. stead of injurious to it." "No," answered he He would seat himself upon a small quietly; "I shall make the most faithful ef- fence which bounded the field and there he fort I can to govern my thoughts and guard would remain often for an hour with his them from unnecessary distraction, and as I hands clasped and his face turned upwards, do this from a sense of duty I expect the di- convulsed with emotion and the tears stream- vine blessing on it.”—DABNEY. ing down his face, deep in the performance of One instance he related with peculiar secret and agonizing prayer.-ADDEY. satisfaction. It was that proceeding on the Twice a day, for weeks (my friend said), Sabbath day to divine worship with a Chris- rain or shine, he saw Jackson slip away to tian associate, his friend proposed to apply this secluded place-unseen as he believed- at the post office for his letters, on the plea and seat himself upon the small fence which that there was perhaps a letter from a dear bounded the field. There he would remain, relative whose health was in a most critical often for an hour, with his hands clasped, state and might, for aught he knew, demand face turned upward, convulsed with emotion, his immediate aid. But he dissuaded him the tears streaming down his face, deep in by the argument that the necessity of his de- the performance of secret and agonizing parting in this from the Sabbath rest was prayer.—ADDEY, quoting "Two Months in the not known, but only suspected. They went Confederate States.” together to church and enjoyed a peaceful day. On the morrow it was ascertained that Every despatch from his hand has as its there was a letter to his friend from his af exordium “By the blessing of God.” Con- flicted relative, announcing a most alarming tinual are the prayer meetings which he holds state of disease; but there was also a later among his men, invoking a blessing upon his one, arrived that day, correcting all the arms before the battle and returning thanks grounds of distress and stating that the for preservation, and (as it has rarely failed health of the sufferer was restored. “Now," to happen) for victory after it is over.- said Jackson, "had my friend causelessly dis- ADDEY, quoting Dr. Charles Mackay, New honored the Sabbath, he would have suffered York correspondent to the London Times. a day of harrowing anxiety, which the next I was standing in the road smoking a day's news would have shown utterly ground | pipe when I heard behind me a horse's hoofs. less, but God rewarded him for his obedience I turned and there was Stonewall Jackson. I by mercifully shielding him from this gratui- at once took off my cap and said, “Good morn- tous suffering: He sent him the antidote along ing, general.” He also uncovered, bade me with the pain.”—DABNEY. good morning and said, “Captain, is divine To one of his friends he declared that service going on in your camp?" I replied, he had cultivated the habit of "praying with “I don't know, sir.” He at once inquired, out ceasing" and connecting a silent testi "Where are your colonel's quarters?” I an- mony of devotion with every familiar act of swered, pointing in the direction, "Just over the day. “Thus,” said he, “when I take my there; shall I take you to them, sir ?" He meals there is the grace. When I take a responded, “Yes.” We started through the draught of water I always pause, as my pal- woods and had gone a short distance when ate receives the refreshment, to lift up my he reined up his horse and said, “I see service heart to God in thanks and prayer for the is going on.” He then paused and, looking at water of life. Whenever I drop a letter in me with his deep-blue eyes, said very gently, the box I send a petition along with it for “Captain, the next time I order divine sery- God's blessing upon its mission and upon the ice to be held, won't you promise me to at- person to whom it is sent. When I break the tend?” I raised my cap and answered, “Yes, seal of a letter just received I stop to pray sir.” It is almost needless to say that I al- to God that He may prepare me for its con ways kept my promise.—ALFRIEND, Lippin- tents and make it a messenger of good.”— cott's Magazine, May, 1902. POLLARD. Always an admirer of delightful Uncle Among his curious rules of Christian Toby, I had contracted the most villainous discipline was one which required, whenever habit of his army in Flanders, and, forgetful the usual Sunday exercises were omitted in of Jackson's presence, ripped out, “What in his command from the exigencies of the cam-| hell are you dodging for? If there is any paign, that some other day of the week | more of it, you will be halted under this fire Jookson, “Stonewall" 298 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES for an hour.” The sharp tones of a familiar whose division Magruder's battery was at- voice produced the desired effect and the men tached, to withdraw his section, as his supe looked as if they had swallowed ramrods; rior officer considered that it was too much but I shall never forget the look of reproach exposed. He gave no heed, however, to the ful surprise on Jackson's face. He placed general's order, but rapidly limbered up and his hands on my shoulders, said, in a gentle moved his guns a hundred yards nearer the voice, "I am afraid you are a wicked fellow," enemy's works, on which he did great exe- then turned and rode back to the picket. cution.–ADDEY. TAYLOR, The North American Review, March, He had the magnetic faculty of extend. 1878. ing to others his own furious determination. He systematically gave to the extent of He could demand the impossible of them be- his limited means to every benevolent object. cause he performed it himself. “Come on," In illustration of this trait in his character he cried in Mexico, "you see there is no it is related that when the news reached danger.” And a shot passed between his legs Lexington of the victory of Manassas, it was spread wide apart. His soldiers marched to reported that Rev. Dr. White had received a death when he bade them. What was even letter from Jackson and the people gathered worse, they marched at the double through around him to hear the particulars of the Virginia mud, without shoes, without food, battle. The venerable preacher mounted on without sleep. "Did you order me to advance a store box, arranged his spectacles, broke over that field, sir?” said an officer to him. the seal of the letter and read as follows: “Yes," said Jackson. "Impossible, sir; my “My dear Pastor-In my tent last night, af men will be annihilated. Nothing can live ter a fatiguing day's service, I remembered there. They will be annihilated.” “General," that I failed to send you my contribution for said Jackson, “I always endeavor to take our colored Sunday school. Enclosed you care of my wounded and to bury my dead. will find my check for that object, which You have heard my order-obey it.”—BRAD- please acknowledge at your earliest conveni FORD, The Atlantic Monthly, June, 1911. ence and oblige, Yours faithfully, T. J. Jack- It is said that, like Hannibal, he is accus- son.” And that was all.-GITTINGS. tomed to live among his men without dis- He had in his service a negro, who had tinction of dress, without greater delicacy of become so accustomed to his ways that he fare, and that it is almost impossible on this was enabled to discern whenever he was account for a stranger to recognize or dig. about to start on an expedition, without re tinguish him among them.-ADDEY, quoting ceiving any notice to that effect. When once | Mackay. asked how he was able to ascertain this, as I was also honored with the pleasing his master never divulged his plans, the mission of presenting Old Stonewall, as a negro replied: "Massa Jackson allers prays slight token of Stuart's high regard, a new ebery night and ebery mornin'; but when he and "stunning” uniform coat, which had just go on any expedition, he pray two, or tree arrived from the hands of a Richmond tailor. or four times durin' the night. When I see The garment, neatly wrapped up, was borne him pray two or tree or four times durin' on the pommel of a saddle by one of our cou- the night, I pack de baggage, for I know he riers who accompanied me; and starting at gwine on an expedition."--ADDEY. once I reached the simple tent of our great After Jackson was wounded General Lee general just in time for dinner. I found him wrote him a note in which he said to him, in his old weather-stained coat from which "I thank you for the victory, which was due | all the buttons had been clipped long since to your skill and genius alone. Could I by the fair hands of patriotic ladies, and have had the direction of events, I would which, from exposure to sun and rain and have been prostrated in your stead.” (I quote powder smoke, and by reason of many rents from memory and am substantially correct.) and patches, was in a very unseemly condi- When the note was read to Stonewall Jack tion. When I had despatched more impor- son, lying on his bed fatally wounded, he re- tant matters, I produced General Stuart's plied, "General Lee is wrong. He awards present in all its magnificence of gilt buttons the credit to me. It belongs to God.”— and sheeny facings and gold lace, and I was ALFRIEND, Lippincott's Magazine, May, 1902. heartily amused at the modest confusion with which the hero of many battles regarded Soldier the fine uniform from many points of view, It is stated that at the battle of Chapul. | scarcely daring to touch it, and in the quiet tepec Jackson was ordered by Pillow, to l way in which he at last folded it up care- 299 Jackson, “Stonewall” OF THE GREAT fully and deposited it in his portmanteau, | nut with a shambling gait, his huge feet, saying to me, "Give Stuart my best thanks, with out-turned toes, thrust into stirrups, my dear major—the coat is much too hand and such parts of his countenance as the low some for me, but I shall take the best of visor of his shocking cap failed to conceal care of it and shall prize it highly as a wearing a wooden look, our new commander souvenir-and now let us have some din was not prepossessing. That night we ner.” But I protested energetically against crossed the east branch of the Shenandoah, this summary disposition of the matter of on a bridge near Luray, and camped near the the coat, deeming my mission, indeed, but stream. Here, after three long marches, we half executed, and remarked that Stuart | were but a short distance below the bridge would certainly ask me how the uniform fit at Conrad's Store-a point we had left sey- ted its owner and that I should therefore eral days before. I began to think that Jack- take it as a personal favor if he would put son was a concealed, perhaps unconscious, it on. To this he readily assented with a poet and, as an ardent lover of nature, de- smile and, having donned the garment, es- | sired to give strangers an opportunity to ad- corted me outside the tent to the table where mire the beauties of the valley. It seemed dinner had been served in the open air. The hard lines to be wandering, like sentimental whole of the staff were in a perfect ecstasy travelers, about the country instead of gain- at their chief's brilliant appearance, and the ing "kudos" on the Peninsula. old negro servant, who was bearing the roast turkey from the fire to the board, stopped Jackson was on the road a little in ad. in mid-career with a most bewildered expres- vance of his line, where the fire was hottest, sion and gazed in wonderment at his master with reins on his horse's neck, seemingly in as if he had been transfigured before him, prayer. Attracted by my approach, he said Meanwhile the rumor of the change ran like in his usual low voice, “Delightful excite- electricity through the neighboring camps ment." and the soldiers came running by hundreds to A figure, perched on the topmost rail the spot, desirous of seeing their beloved of a fence, overlooking the road and field, Stonewall in his new attire; and the first was pointed out as Jackson. Approaching wearing of a robe by Louis XIV., at whose him, I saluted and declared my name and morning toilet all the world was accustomed rank; then waited for a response. Before to assemble, never created half the sensation | this came I had time to see a pair of cavalry at Versailles that was made in the woods of boots covering feet of gigantic size, a mangy Virginia by the investment of Jackson in this cap, with visor drawn low, a heavy, dark new regulation uniform.-BORCKE, Black beard, and weary eyes-eyes I afterwards wood's Magazine, December, 1865. saw filled with intense but never brilliant light. A low, gentle voice inquired the dis- He was very fond of children and those tance and road marched that day. “Six and in the neighborhood will long remember the twenty miles, Keazletown road.” “You seem kind voice and smile of the soldier-his ca- to have no stragglers ?” “Never allow strag- resses and affectionate ways. We have al- glers.” “You must teach my people. They luded to the new cap which the general wore at the battle of Fredericksburg, resplendent straggle badly.” A bow in reply. Just then my creoles started their band and a waltz. with gold braid and all manner of decora- After a contemplative suck at a lemon, tions. He did not admire this fine substi- “Thoughtless fellows for serious work," came tute for that old sun-scorched cap, which had forth. I expressed a hope that the work so long served him; and, when one day a lit- would not be less well done because of the tle girl was standing at his knee, looking up gaiety. A return to the lemon gave me an from her clustering curls at the kindly gen- opportunity to retire. Where Jackson got eral, whose hand was caressing her hair, he his lemons "no fellow could find out,” but he called for a pair of scissors, ripped off the was rarely without one. To live twelve rich gold band and, joining the ends, placed miles from that fruit would have disturbed it like a coronet upon her head, with smiles him as much as it did the witty dean. Quite and evident admiration of the pretty picture late that night General Jackson came to my thus presented. --COOKE. camp fire, where he remained some hours. Jackson rode with me during the day. He said he would move at dawn, asked a few From time to time a courier would gallop up, questions about the marching of my men, report and return toward Luray. Scarcely a which seemed to have impressed him, and word was spoken during the march. An une then remained silent. If silence be golden, he graceful horseman, mounted on a sorry chest was a “bonanza." He sucked lemons, ate Jackson, "Stonewall" 300 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES hard tack and drank water and, I imagine, passing through Middletown, Va., General his idea of "the whole duty of man" was- Jackson, with his staff-riding some two or praying and fighting. three miles in advance of his army, then on An officer, riding hard, overtook us, who the march to Fredericksburg—met an old proved to be the quartermaster of the army. woman looking for her grandson who was He reported the wagon trains far behind, im- somewhere in the army. As we passed she peded by bad road in Luray Valley. “The hailed the general, saying, "Are you Mr. ammunition wagons ?" (sternly). “All right, Jackson?” He told her he was and asked her sir. They were in advance and I doubled what she wanted. “I want to see my grand- teams on them and brought them through.” son, George Martin-he belongs to your “Ah!” (in a tone of relief). To give coun- company. I've brought him these clothes tenance to this quartermaster, if such can be and victuals." The general asked her what given of a dark night, I remarked jocosely, regiment her grandson was in, but she could "Never mind the wagons. There are quan- not tell. She did not know what company he tities of stores in Winchester and the general was in the name of his captain-even has invited us to breakfast to-morrow.” Jack- whether he was a private or an officer. All son, who had no more capacity for jests than she could tell was that he “was in Mr. Jack- a Scotchman, took this seriously and reached son's company.” In her disappointment she out and touched me on the arm. In fact, he cried, “Why, Mr. Jackson, don't you know was of Scotch-Irish descent, and his uncon- little George Martin? George Augustus sciousness of jokes was de race. Without Martin? He's been with you in all your bat- physical wants himself, he never re- tles, and they say,” she added, with tears membered that others were differently con. streaming down her furrowed cheeks, "that stituted, and paid little heed to the com: he fit as hard as the best of them.” At this missariat; but woe to the man who failed to point some of the younger members of the bring up ammunition. In advance, his trains staff laughed. The general turned around were left far behind; in retreat, he would quickly, with his brow contracted, his lips fight for a wheelbarrow.–TAYLOR, The North compressed and his eyes flashing with anger. American Review, March, 1878. He looked as if he were trying to find the guilty one. Dismounting from his horse and Jackson was meanwhile on his way to approaching the old woman, he, in the kind- the Chickahominy. ... Extraordinary pre- est and simplest words, explained why he did cautions were used to conceal the route of not know her grandson; but gave her such the troops. The men were forbidden even to simple and repeated directions as would en- ask the names of the villages through which able her to find him.-COOKE. they passed, and orders were issued that to all questions they should make but one re- As an evidence of his fatalism I once sponse, “I do not know.” “This was just as saw him standing in a mountain road when much license as the men wanted,” said an eye- the wheel of a caisson came off and was witness, "and they forthwith knew nothing of rolling directly on him. An officer of his the past, present or future." An amusing staff called to him to move, but he stood still. incident grew out of this order. One of The wheel struck a stone, bounded off the Hood's men left the ranks on the march and side of the mountain and Stonewall Jackson was climbing a fence to go to a cherry tree turned to the officer and said, “You see there in a field near at hand, when Jackson rode was no danger; I knew it.” by and saw him. “Where are you going?” Jackson's practise was to speak of the asked the general. "I don't know," replied | Northern troops as Mexicans. He very rare- the soldier. “To what command do you be- 1 ly called them anything else. Dr. Hunter long ?” “I don't know.” “Well, what state | Maguire, his medical director, is my author- are you from?” “I don't know.” “What is ity for this statement.--ALFRIEND, Lippin- the meaning of all this?” asked Jackson of cott's Magazine, May, 1902. another. “Well,” was the reply, "Old Stone- In one of his late fights Old Stonewall wall and General Hood issued orders yester- got into a tight place. He found himself day that we were not to know anything until surrounded with only one way to escape, after the next fight.” Jackson laughed and which was over a bridge raked by a battery rode on.-COOKE. of the Federals. The old hero saw in a An incident exhibiting Jackson's kind moment his strait. With his cape over his ness of heart belongs to this period and is uniform he rode up to the battery and said, here related in the words of the officer who | "Boys, you have this battery in the wrong communicated it: In November, 1862, while | place; move it to that eminence," pointing 301 Jackson, "Stonewall” OF THE GREAT to a hill a short distance up; “limber up bornly resisting the Federal advance. Gen- and be in a hurry." The order was obeyed eral Bee, in order to kindle in the breasts of and, as the artillery was taking the new his men the ardor that glowed in his own, position, Stonewall rode safely across the pointed to Jackson's line and exclaimed, bridge. ... The Yankee discovered the ruse "See, there stands Jackson like a stone wall." and let fly with his gun, but it was too late. Bee himself fell in the charge, but he had ... The Federal soldier in charge of the christened Jackson and his brigade by attach- gun was Captain Robinson, who, on relating | ing to them a peculiar and distinctive name the incident, exclaimed, “I might have known which will live while the history of the that I could not hit him.”—ADDEY. Civil War lives.-GORDON. He sent the following terse telegram to General Jackson said the sobriquet the War Department at Richmond: “Send | “Stonewall” was won in the battle by his me more men and fewer questions."--ADDEY. | brigade and that it did not belong to him but should be applied to the “Stonewall On one occasion, when he was falling back Brigade.”—GITTINGS. from Winchester, three Federal cavalrymen performed an inexplicable feat of daring in IIe expressed a wish that he might be charging through the whole length of one buried in "Lexington, in the Valley of Vir- of his brigades. Two of them were shot ginia,” and then his mind began to wander. from their horses. Colonel Patton, giving That delirium which seizes upon the most the details to Jackson, said he would have powerful organizations, the most vigorous prevented the troops from firing on these brains, at the mysterious moment when the audacious men, if he could have controlled last sands are falling from the hour.glass, them; they were brave men who had got into began to affect him. His thoughts reverted a desperate situation, where it was as easy to the battle-field of Saturday and he ex- to capture them as to kill them. Jackson's claimed at intervals, “Order A. P. Hill to reply was brief and cold. “Shoot them all,” prepare for action," "Pass the infantry to he said; "I don't want them to be brave.”— the front,” “Tell Major Hawkes to send for- POLLARD. ward provisions to the men.” He evidently believed himself once more amid the forest Another incident was related of him by of the Wilderness and about to advance with Colonel Ford, a Federal officer, who conversed his great corps upon the enemy. This martial with the general at Harper's Ferry. “While agitation, however, soon passed away. His we were in conversation,” says the colonel, excitement disappeared, his features again "an orderly rode rapidly across the bridge became serene and he murmured with a and said to General Jackson, 'I am ordered smile, "Let us cross over the river and rest by General McLaws to report to you that under the shade of the trees.” The moment General McClellan is within six miles with had indeed arrived when the illustrious leader an immense army.' Jackson took no notice was about to pass the dark river which of the orderly apparently and continued his separates two worlds, and rest under the conversation; but when the orderly had shade of the Tree of Life. From this time turned away Jackson called after him with he continued gradually to sink and at fifteen the question, 'Has McClellan any baggage minutes past three in the afternoon, on Sun- train or drove of cattle? The reply was day, the 10th of May, he peacefully expired. that he had. Jackson replied that he could -COOKE. whip any army that was followed by a drove After Stonewall Jackson's death at Chan- of cattle, alluding to the hungry condition cellorsville a story became current among the of his men.”—ADDEY. Confederate legions—which the soldiers loved The sobriquet “Stonewall” was applied to repeat over their fires at their bivouac- to him during the first engagement at Manas that, on account of his extreme piety, when sas, or Bull Run. His brigade was making their famous chieftain fell, a detachment of a superb stand against General McDowell's angels left the heavenly gates to visit the column, which had been thrown with such battle-field and escort the hero's soul to heav. momentum upon the southern flank as to en. The celestial squadron reached the corpse- threaten the destruction of the whole army. strewn plain, but without effect. He whom General Bee, of South Carolina, whose blood they sought could not be found and they re- was almost the earliest sprinkled on the turned mournfully to heaven to report their Southern altar, determined to lead his own | want of success. But lo! Behold, on arriv. brigade to another charge, and, looking across ing they found the spirit of the immortal the field, he saw Jackson's men, firmly, stub-| warrior there already. Stonewall Jackson James I. James II. 302 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES had made a flank march and got to heaven | king by Endymion Porter, to whom he had before them.-Lippincott's Magazine, August, given them. He asked for Gib and, being 1869. told he was gone, ordered them to post after him and bring him back, vowing that he JAMES I., 1566-1625. King of England. would neither eat, drink nor sleep till he While the queen was reposing after her saw him. And when at length he beheld fatigues the king was bestirring himself to him entering his chamber, he kneeled down raise funds for the expenses which his mar and very earnestly begged his pardon; nor riage had rendered unavoidable. He was would he rise from his humble posture till afflicted with all the tribulations common to he had in a manner compelled the confused those who wish to make a splendid appear and astonished Gib to pronounce the ance with very slender means, or rather, with words of absolution.—LUCY AIKIN, "Memoirs out any means whatsoever. Very piteous of the Court of James the First," citing were the missives sent forth to his nobles, Wilson's "History of Great Britain." requiring benevolence to meet the expenses Sir Kenelm Digby imputes the strong of his queen's coronation and the celebration aversion that James had to a drawn sword of his marriage festivities. Nothing came amiss; from those who had no ready cash, to the fright his mother was in, during her goods were thankfully accepted or borrowed. pregnancy, at the sight of the swords with which David Rizzio, her secretary, was as- One family possesses an autograph letter from the king, dated Linlithgow palace, in which sassinated in her presence. "Hence it came," says this author, “that her son, King James, he begs "the loan of some silver spoons, to had such an aversion all his life time to a grace his marriage feast.” In another letter he craved the loan of a pair of silk stockings naked sword; and that he would not see one without great emotion of spirits, although from his dear Johnnie Slaites (the Earl of Mar), for his own royal wearing at a recep- otherwise courageous enough; yet he could not overmaster his passion in this particular. tion he gave the Spanish ambassador, add- I remember when he dubbed me knight, in ing, with a pathos peculiar to himself, “Ye the ceremony of putting a naked sword on wad na that your king suld appear a scrub on sic an occasion.”—AGNES STRICKLAND, my shoulder, he could not endure to look upon it, but turned his face another way; inso- "The Queens of England.” much, that in lieu of touching my shoulder I shall leave him dressed to posterity in he had almost thrust the point in my eyes, the colors I saw him in the next progress | had not the Duke of Buckingham guided his after his inauguration, which was as green hand aright."-"Granger's Biographical Dic. as the grass he trod upon: with a feather tionary," Supplement. in his cap and a horn instead of a sword by He had aversion to crossing a bridge, us- his side.- Quarterly Review, July, 1829, quot- ing the argument that "a brig could bu fa' ing OSBORNE'S “Memoirs of King James I.” ance.” And that when on his progress to In the middle of the negotiations for the London on his accession he objected to cross Spanish match, the king, who was at Theo the bridge at Newcastle-upon-Tyne and de- balds, was much discomposed at missing some sired to be ferried over. The Gentleman's important papers which he had received Magazine, December, 1823. respecting it. On recollection he was per- James I, had a miscellaneous taste for suaded that he had entrusted them to his old pet animals—Virginia squirrels, a cream- servant Gib, a Scotchman and a gentleman colored fawn, a splendid white gyrfalcon of of the bedchamber. Gib, on being called, de- Ireland, an elephant, five camels and of course clared, humbly but firmly, that no such dogs of every kind.--W. II. D. ADAMS, The papers had ever been given to his care; on Gentleman's Magazine, August, 1888. which the king, transported with rage, after much reviling, kicked him as he kneeled King James I. being apt to talk to his before him. “Sir,” exclaimed Gib, instantly courtiers in time of divine service, a certain rising, "I have served you from your youth bishop made a full stop in his sermon ås and you never found me unfaithful; I have often as he perceived the king engaged in not deserved this from you, nor can I live discourse. His majesty asking him the oc- longer with you under this disgrace; fare ye casion, the bishop told him he could not well, sir; I will never see your face more." think it consistent with good manners to And instantly he took horse for London. No interrupt his majesty, which modest reproof sooner was the circumstance known in the was taken well and had the desired effect.- palace than the papers were brought to the Grubstreet Journal, April 11, 1734. 303 James 1. James II. OF THE GREAT In one of James's letters he tells the favorite (Buckingham] that he wears Steeney's picture under his waistcoat, next his heart; and in another he bids him, his only sweet and dear child, hasten to him "that night that his white teeth might shine upon him.”—Dublin University Mag- azine, 1853. This monarch was extremely profuse in his presents to his favorites. Sir Robert Cecil, afterwards Earl of Salisbury, his treasurer, according to Osborn, in his memoir of the life of that prince, took the following method to correct that extravagance: “The Earl of Somerset had procured from King James a warrant to the treasurer for twenty thousand pounds, who, in his exquisite pru- dence, finding that not only the exchequer but the Indies themselves would want fluency to feed so immense a prodigality, and, not without reason, apprehending the king as ignorant of what was demanded as of the desert of the person who begged it, laid the former mentioned sum upon the ground, in a room through which his majesty was to pass, who, amazed at the quantity, as a sight not unpossible his eyes never saw before, asked the treasurer whose money it was? who answered, 'Yours, before you gave it away. Thereupon the king fell into a pas- sion, protesting that he was abused, never intending any such gift, and, casting himself upon the heap, scrabbled out the quantity of two or three hundred pounds and swore he should have no more."-WILLIAM SEWARD, “Anecdotes of Distinguished Persons." They ſa theatrical troupe] brought for- ward their own king and his favorite in a very strange fashion. They made him curse and swear because he had been robbed of a bird, and beat a gentleman because he had called off the hounds from the scent. They represent him as drunk at least once a day, etc. He has upon this made an order that no play shall henceforth be acted in London, for the repeal of which they have already offered a hundred thousand livres.--FRED- ERICK VON RAUMER, “History of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries." "I wonder,” said James one day to Gon- domar, "that my ancestors should ever have permitted such an institution as the House of Commons to have come into existence. I am a stranger and I found it here when I arrived, so that I am obliged to put up with what I cannot get rid of."-R. W. CHURCH, "Bacon.” He said to the shabby candidate for knighthood, who knelt down with a too evi- dent sense of his own unworthiness, "Look up, man; I have more reason to be ashamed than thou."--The Quarterly Review, July, 1829. JAMES II., 1633-1701. King of England. "I can't find what he sees to admire in me,” said Catherine Sedley; "certainly it is not for my beauty-and as to his wit, he has not enough to see that I have any."---Corn- hill Magazine, March, 1877. When the last Stuart king died at St. Germain, he died according to French eti- quette, and, to please Louis XIV., in a laced night-cap. This cap was called a toquet. “It was the court etiquette," writes Madame in her “Memoirs" "for all the Royals to die with a night-cap on." This toquet of King James is now in the Museum at Dunkirk. Mary of Modena died also in like fashion, coiffe with the toquet.-The Quarterly Re- view, July, 1868. His heart was presented to the convent at Chaillot, which already possessed the heart of his mother; part of the intestines, skull and lungs and a portion of the flesh removed in the process of embalming were placed in St. Germain's church, a tablet being erected on the wall and a marble slab show- ing the spot where they were interred. His brain was given to the Scotch college at Paris, where the Duke of Perth constructed for it a marble monument with bronze decorations. ... A piece of the fleshy part of his right arm, wrapped in a rag soaked with his blood, was given to the adjoining English Austin nunnery, where it was embedded in the wall of the chapel. The remaining portions of the intestines were forwarded to the English college of St. Omer. ... The Jacobins, who in 1793 tore open the tombs of the French kings at St. Denis, had of course equally lit- tle respect for the relics of a foreign sover- eign. The St. Omer college was in that very month converted, on account of its spacious- ness, into a political prison, its priests and students being transferred to the College of St. Bertin and all its treasures disappeared. Chaillot convent was closed, its relies being scattered to the winds, and Napoleon de- molished the very ruins, intending to erect on the site a palace for his son; but he left the scheme unfulfilled and the growth of Paris has covered the spot with houses. All the ornamentation of the Scotch College was wrenched away and the gilt urn containing James's brain disappeared. Of what took place at the Benedictine monastery we have only one account, taken down at Toulouse in 1840 from the lips of an octogenarian Jay, John Jefferson, Thomas 304 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Irishman Fitzsimon and published in Notes ferson at Monticello, who seemed to enjoy it and Queries in 1850. Fitzsimon was one of very much, as well as to give great credit to the British subjects detained at the monas the influence of the flies. He told it with tery during the Reign of Terror as hostages such glee and seemed to retain a vivid recol- for Toulon. He states that there was a lection of the attack, from which the only wooden coffin, inclosed in lead, and that again relief was signing the paper and flying from in a wooden case. The lead was wanted by the scene.-Harper's Magazine, October, 1871. the Jacobins for bullets. ... A young lady prisoner wished for a tooth and he tried to On one occasion, at which Mr. Jefferson pull one out for her, but they were too firmly was present, a question being started as to fixed. ... The French and English prison- the best mode of providing the executive ers gave money to the Jacobins for permis- chief, it was among other opinions gravely sion to see the body. The Jacobins said advanced that a hereditary designation was James was a good sans-culottes and they were preferable to any elective process that could going to put him into a hole in the church- be devised. At the close of an eloquent ef- fusion against the agitations and animosities yard, like other sans-culottes. The body was carried away, but where it was thrown he of a popular choice, and in favor of birth as never heard.-J. G. ALGER, The Nineteenth on the whole affording a better chance for a Century, January, 1889. suitable head of the government, Mr. Jef- ferson with a smile remarked that he had JAY, John, 1745-1829. American statesman. heard of a university somewhere in which the He was an early riser, cutting a hole in professorship of mathematics was hereditary. the solid shutter that the first rays of the -B. L. RAYNER, "Life of Thomas Jefferson.” sun might fall upon his pillow and rouse A grandson of Mr. Jefferson once asked him from sleep.---WILLIAM WHITELOCK, “Life an old man who in his youth had often and Times of John Jay." heard him plead causes how he ranked as a He at once began his legal studies and speaker. “Well,” said the old man, “it is that in the office of Mr. Benjamin Kissam, hard to tell, because he always took the right one of the then noted lawyers of New York. side.”'--JAMES PARTON, Atlantic Monthly, After he was admitted to the bar he was | March, 1872, citing “Domestic Life of Jef- employed in a number of cases in which Kis- ferson.” sam was the lawyer for the opposite side. One day in argument, when Jay pushed Kis- The new president walked home with two or three of the gentlemen who lodged sam very hard, the latter said, pointing to Jay, "There I have brought up a bird to pick in the same house. At dinner he took his ac- customed place at the bottom of the table, out my own eyes.” “Not to pick out your his new station not eliciting from his demo- eyes," replied Jay instantly, “but to open your eyes, Mr. Kissam.”—FRANK G. CAR- cratic friends any new attention or courtesy. PENTER, The North American Review, August, A gentleman from Baltimore, an invited guest, who accidentally sat next to him, asked 1888. permission to wish him joy. “I would ad- When asked how it was possible for him vise you,” said Mr. Jefferson smiling, “to fol- to occupy his mind (after his retirement from low my example upon nuptial occasions, when public life] he replied with a smile, “I have I always tell the bridegroom I will wait till a long life to look back upon and an eter- the end of the year before offering my con- nity to look forward to.”—WHITELOCK. gratulations." And this was the only soli- JEFFERSON, Thomas, 1743-1826. Amer. tary instance of any notice being taken of ican statesman. the event of the morning (the inauguration While the question of independence was of Jefferson].-RAYNER, quoting "a Wash- before Congress it had its meetings near a liv. ington reminiscent.” ery stable. The members wore short breeches The weekly levee was at once abolished. and silk stockings and, with handkerchief in On two days of the year, the Fourth of July hand, were very diligently employed in lash and the first of January, when houses and ing the flies from their legs. So very vexa. hearts are usually open in the United States, tious was this annoyance, and to so great an he opened his to all who chose to visit him. impatience did it arouse the sufferers, that it On other days he was accessible to visitors hastened, if it did not aid, in inducing them on the terms and conditions which his duties to promptly affix their signatures to the great imposed; all were welcome who had claims document which gave birth to an empire re- | upon his attention or regard, except so far public. This anecdote I had from Mr. Jef- | as the superior claim of the whole people 305 Jay, John Jefferson, Thomas OF THE GREAT restricted him. Some of the Federalists in ing on all manner of topics, but without re- Washington, we are told, hit upon an expedi- ceiving answers to his queries or making ent to balk the president's intention of the slightest impression upon the visitor, abolishing the levee. On the usual day, at who remained as dumb as an oyster. In the usual hour-two in the afternoon-ladies despair of drawing him out, Mr. Jefferson and gentlemen began to arrive at the presi- | happened to ask him if he liked black-jack dent's house, attired in the manner custom fishing. The countryman's eyes snapped and ary at levees. The president was not at his mouth poured forth a garrulous budget home. He was enjoying his regular two in regard to his favorite sport, to all which hours' ride on horseback, which nothing but Mr. Jefferson, amused, as were all others absolute necessity could make him forego. present, listened attentively. When at last When he returned at three o'clock and the countryman made an end, Mr. Jefferson learned that the great rooms were filled opened up eloquently on the same subject, with company waiting to see him, he guessed displaying an intimate knowledge of black- their object and frustrated it gracefully and jack, so far surpassing that of his relative with perfect good humor by merely going that the latter was held spell-bound. When among them, booted, spurred, splashed with the great Signer stopped talking the country. mud, riding whip in hand, and greeting man rushed for his hat and bolted from the them as if the conjunction of so many guests mansion, nor could vociferous calls persuade were merely a joyous coincidence. They in him to return.—Harper's Magazine, July, their turn caught the spirit of the joke and 1883. the affair ended happily. But it was the I have made it a rule since I have been last of the levees.—PARTON, The Atlantic in public life never to let the sun rise before Monthly, August, 1873. me and before I breakfasted to transact all Some years after the period of which the business called for by the day.-RAYNER, we have been writing, a new member of Con- quoting Jefferson. gress called upon Mr. Jefferson, then presi He delighted in the society of children, dent of the United States. After an hour's with whom he was accustomed in his old interview the gentleman was asked by some age to practise feats of agility which few of his friends how he liked the president. He could imitate. Being taken by surprise on replied he was greatly pleased with him, but one of these occasions, by the entrance of a found him very different from what he ex- stranger, he grasped his hand and, smiling, pected in one particular. “What was that?” said, "I will make no other apology than "Why," exclaimed Mr. — “he is the most the good Henry the Fourth did, when he pliable great man I have ever met with. I was caught by an ambassador playing horse brought him to my views on the ... ques. and riding one of his children on his back, tion and I verily believe I could change his by asking, 'Are you a father? If you are, mind on almost any point.” The exquisite no apology is necessary.'"-RAYNER. comedy of the affair was that Mr. — 's as- His uniform mode of riding was on sociates were not long in discovering that he had been completely converted out of his own horseback, which was daily, and always un- and into Mr. Jefferson's views on this very attended. In one of these solitary excursions, ... question.-H. S. RANDALL, "Life of while passing a stream of water, he was ac- Thomas Jefferson.” costed by a feeble beggar who implored his assistance to transport him and his baggage. A relative of Mr. Jefferson, although He immediately mounted the beggar behind very desirous of visiting him, was yet dis him and carried him over; on perceiving he inclined to thrust his rusticity and illiterate had neglected his wallet he as good-humored- ness on his great kinsman. Upon one oc ly recrossed the stream and brought it over casion, however, he was prevailed upon to to him.-RAYNER. attend a social gathering at Monticello, when, Unfortunately he was without a sense upon being ushered into the saloon, he was of humor. He rarely told a story and seldom duly presented by Mr. Jefferson to the com- pany. During this ceremony the awkward enjoyed one and witticisms were wasted in his presence.-WILLIAM E. CURTIS, “The countryman slipped up several times upon the well-waxed floor and, then seating himself True Thomas Jefferson.” thoroughly ill at ease, was perfectly silent. Great men often have queer whims. Mr. After chatting with some of his guests Mr. Jefferson published the first edition of his Jefferson took a seat beside his relative and “Parliamentary Manual” without paging; a made an unusual effort to be agreeable, talk. | work much of the utility of which depended Jefferson, Thomas 306 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES on an accurate means of a correct and easy made a friend of him and all his family.- reference, to which proper paging and index JAMES PARTON, The Atlantic Monthly, Au- are essential. Folly, however ridiculous, is gust, 1873. catching. F. X. Martin & Co., printers and He wrote to his acquaintance, Charles booksellers at Newbern, published several MacPherson, cousin of the translator, that novels without paging, in imitation of Mr. “merely for the pleasure of reading Ossian's Jefferson.--MATTHEW CAREY, The Knicker- works he was desirous to learn the language bocker Magazine, July, 1834. in which he sung.” He begs MacPherson to While he was minister to France a lady send him from Scotland not only a gram- from the United States had the courage to mar, a dictionary, a catalogue of Gaelic works, commission Jefferson to buy her a pair of and whatever other apparatus might be nec- corsets, but failed to send the dimensions. essary, but copies of all the Ossianic poems He exercised his best judgment and sent in the original Gaelic. If they had been them with a playful letter: “Should they | printed, he would have them in print. If be too small," he says, "you will be good not, “my petition is, that you would be so enough to lay them by for a while. There good as to use your interest with Mr. Mac- are ebbs as well as flows in this world. When Pherson to obtain leave to make a manu- the mountain refused to come to Mahomet, script copy of them, and procure it to be he went to the mountain.”_CURTIS. done. I would choose it in a fair, round This Kentuckian, sitting solitary on the hand, with a good margin, bound in parch- bank of a swollen stream, let the gay young ment as elegantly as possible, lettered on the men of the president's party all pass on back, and marbled or gilt on the edge of the and flounder across the river, without making leaves. I would not regard expense in doing this.” known his desire. Last of all rode the He tells him that if there are any president. Him the rough wayfarer addressed other Gaelic manuscript poems accessible, it and Mr. Jefferson took him up behind him would at any time give him “the greatest without more ado. Being asked why he se- happiness” to receive them; for “the glow of lected that particular individual of the party, one warm thought is to me worth more than the Kentuckian replied: “I reckon a man money.”—PARTON, The Atlantic Monthly, carries Yes or No in his face. The young March, 1872. chaps' faces said No; the old man's said Nothing afflicted Mr. Jefferson like the Yes.” wanton destruction of the fine trees scattered One day in his daily ride near Washing. over the city grounds. I remember on one occasion (it was after he was president) his ton, the president fell into conversation with a stranger. Politics becoming the topic, he exclaiming, “How I wish I possessed the pow- had the pleasure of hearing not only his er of a despot!” The company at the table own measures roundly denounced, but his stared at a declaration so opposed to his dis- character most indecently reviled. “Do you position and principles. “Yes," continued he know Mr. Jefferson personally ?” he asked. in reply to their inquiring looks, “I wish I "No; nor do I want to.” “But is it fair play was a despot that I might save the noble, to believe and repeat such stories and then the beautiful trees that are daily falling sacrifices to the cupidity of their owners or not dare to meet the subject of them face to face and trust to your own senses?” “I the necessity of the poor.” “And have you will never shrink from meeting Mr. Jefferson not authority to save those on the public if he comes in my way.” “Will you go to his grounds?” asked one of the company. “No,” house to-morrow and be introduced to him answered Mr. Jefferson, "only an armed guard if I meet you there?” Ile consented and could save them. The unnecessary felling of Jefferson galloped on. Instantly it occurred a tree, perhaps the growth of centuries, to the traveler that it was the president seems to me a crime little short of murder; himself with whom he had been conversing. it pains me to an unspeakable degree." But he kept his appointment, appearing at MRS. SAMUEL HARRISON SMITH, “Diary," the hour, attired in his best. “I have called, Scribner's Magazine, September, 1906. Mr. Jefferson,” said he, "to apologize for hav During his European tours he had been ing said to a stranger- ” Here the presi struck with the waste of power caused by the dent broke in and finished the sentence, “hard bad construction of the plows in common things of an imaginary personage who is no use. The part of the plow called the relation of mine." The stranger tried to get mold-board, which is above the share and in his apology, but the president laughed it turns over the earth, seemed to him the chief down, insisted on his staying to dinner and seat of error; and he spent many of his 307 Jefferson, Thomas OF THE GREAT leisure hours during his last two years in naturalists. Fortunately for his sensitive France in evolving from Euclid the mold- nature, Jefferson's lack of humor prevented board which should offer the minimum of re- him from recognizing the satire. The bones sistance. Nothing is more likely than that are still exhibited at the Academy of Natural he should have discussed many a time in Sciences in Philadelphia.-CURTIS. Paris with so ardent an agriculturist as the He combated the Count de Buffon's Duke de la Rochefoucauld. Satisfied at theory of the degeneracy of animals in Amer- length that he had discovered the best form ica. After much discussion he tried an argu- of mold-board, he sent a plow provided ment similar to that which Dr. Franklin had with it to the Royal Agricultural Society used, when, in reply to a remark of the same of the Seine, of which the duke was a mem- nature, he requested all the Americans seat- ber. The medal which they awarded it fol- ed on one side of the table to stand, and lowed the inventor to New York, and eighteen then all the Frenchmen, who happened to sit years after the society sent President Jef- in a row on the other side. The Americans ferson a superb plow containing his im- towered gigantic above the little Gauls and provement. An agreeable incident in connec- the doctor came off triumphant. Jefferson, tion with that plow invention has been re- on his part, wrote to General Sullivan of ported. Among the many young Virginians New Hampshire to send him the bones and who were educated under the direction of skin of a moose, mightiest of the deer kind; Mr. Jefferson was the late William C. Rives, Sullivan, exaggerating the importance of the born almost in the shadow of Monticello. object, on fire to do honor to his country and In 1853, when for the second time Mr. Rives oblige its representative, formed a hunting was minister to France, he was elected a party, plunged into the measureless snows of member of the Agricultural Society, then the New Hampshire hills, found a herd, temporarily dishonored by the prefix of “Im- killed one, cut a road twenty miles to get perial” to its name. In his address at his it home, got the flesh from the bones, packed public reception Mr. Rives alluded to the skeleton and skin into a great box, with horns prize bestowed by the society half a century of five other American deer, and sent it on its before upon one of his predecessors. “Yes," way to the ocean. In the course of time said the president, "we still have, and will Mr. Jefferson received a bill of thirty-six show you, the prize plow of Thomas Jeffer- guineas for the carriage of the box and a son."-PARTON, The Atlantic Monthly, May, glowing account from General Sullivan of 1873. his exertions in procuring its contents. He In Greenbriar county, Virginia, a deposit paid the bill with a wry face, but the moose of bones, supposed to be those of a mammoth, | did not arrive. Six months after the grand were found and sent to Monticello, where hunt he wrote thus: “That the tragedy Jefferson set them up and pronounced them might not want a proper catastrophe, the to be those of “a carnivorous animal entirely box, bones and all, are lost; so that this unknown to science.” A curious sight might chapter of natural history will still remain have been witnessed by people who lived a blank. But I have written to him not to along the route of travel between Monticello | send me another. I will leave it for my suc- and Philadelphia when the vice-president of cessor to fill up, whenever I shall make my the United States, on his way to take the bow here." A week later, however, he had oath of office and assume the second place the pleasure of sending the box to the in the gift of the nation, carried a wagon- Count de Buffon, promising much larger load of bones for his baggage. He delivered horns another season. The naturalist grace- them to Dr. Wistar, the naturalist of the fully acknowledged the gift and owned that American Philosophical Society, with a la- the moose was indeed an animal of respect- bored report under date of March 10, 1797, able magnitude. "I should have consulted entitled, "A Memoir of the Discovery of you, sir," said he, “before publishing my Certain Bones of an Unknown Quadruped, Natural History and then I should have been of the Clawed Kind, in the Western Part of sure of my facts.” He died next year, too Virginia.” Dr. Wistar at a glance pro- soon to enjoy the enormous pair of buck's nounced them the bones of the common sloth, horns coming to Jefferson from his native or giant edentate, and showed Jefferson other mountains to maintain in Europe the credit specimens of the same sort. The vice-presi- of his native continent.-PARTON, The At- dent was greatly humiliated and the scientist lantic Monthly, October, 1872. called it Megalonyx Jeffersonii, a name by Jefferson, at least, still played on the which the animal has since been known to / violin. A violinist now of fifteen years' John JeffersonL 308 , Thomas WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES standing, extremely fond of music, an indefat- stone. They were shown into a roon from igable practiser, and inheriting a touch of which they heard her harpsichord and voice, singular delicacy, he had become a superior accompanied by Mr. Jefferson's violin and performer. For journeys he had one of those voice, in the passages of a touching song. minute violins called kits, with a tiny case, They listened for a stanza or two. Whether which could be packed into a portmanteau something in the words or in the tones of or even carried in a large pocket. Wealthy the singers appeared suggestive to them, tra- Virginians were late risers in those easy dition does not say, but it does aver that going, luxurious times; but he was always they took their hats and retired, to return an early riser; and he found in his kit a no more on the same errand. The other, and precious resource in the long mornings while we think less probable version of the story, he was waiting at couníry houses for the is, that three met on the door-stone and family to come down to breakfast. At night, agreed that they would "take turns" and too, he and his kit could whisper together that the interviews should be made decisive; without disturbing the occupants of adjoin and that, by lot or otherwise, Mr. Jefferson ing rooms.-PARTON, The Atlantic Monthly, led off; and that then, during his trial, they June, 1872. heard the music that they concluded settled Mr. Jefferson used to tell in after years the point.-RANDALL. with great glee an anecdote connected with Thomas Jefferson refused the mission of- this fire. He was absent from home when fered him in 1776, in company with Benjamin it occurred and a slave arrived, out of Franklin and Silas Deane, to represent the breath, to inform him of the disaster. After United States at Paris, on account of his learning the general destruction he inquired, wife's health, though he was very anxious “But were none of my books saved ?” “No, I to accept. His letter of declination states master," was the reply, “but” (with a look | that no other condition would have com- of truly African satisfaction) “we saved pelled him to decline the appointment. As the fiddle.”—RANDALL. it was, he kept the messenger waiting three Jefferson played his last piece on the days, hesitating between his duty to his violin in Paris. Walking one day with a wife and his duty to his country and at friend four or five miles from home, absorbed the time his love conquered. Six years later in earnest conversation, he fell and dislo his wife died and a second appointment was cated his right wrist. He grasped it firmly tendered him as minister to France. He ac- with his other hand and, resuming the con cepted it promptly and tried to lose his grief versation, walked home in torture, of which in hard work. his companion suspected nothing. It was Mrs. Jefferson hung between life and unskilfully set and he never, as long as he death for four months and during all this lived, recovered the proper use of it; could time Thomas Jefferson was at her bedside or never again write with perfect ease, could in a little room adjoining. He gave her her never again play upon his instrument. Mr. drinks and her medicine and took turns with Randall records the curious fact that, so in his sister and his wife's sister in sitting up veterate had become his habit of entering his with her at night. He solemnly promised expenditures, he continued to record items her on her death-bed that he would never that very afternoon, using his left hand. marry again and when she died he staggered In the morning before the accident, he en- from the room into the library and fainted. tered the payment to his steward, Petit, of His insensibility lasted so long that people five hundred and four francs for various feared he was dead. They brought a cot household expenses, and, in the afternoon, | into the library and lifted him upon it. after the accident, in a hand more legible, When he revived, his grief was so great that records the expenditure of “24f.10" for but- he almost lost his senses. For three weeks tons and “4f.6" for gloves. The next day he he did not leave the library and he was was out again, “seeing the king's library," waited on during this time by his little for which he paid ten francs.-PARTON, The daughter Martha, who says that he walked Atlantic Monthly, October, 1872. up and down the room all day and all night, Her hand was sought by wooers far only lying down when he was utterly ex- and near. Tradition has preserved one anec hausted. When he at last came out of the dote of the contest. It has two renderings library he spent hours at a time riding and the reader may choose between them. through the mountain paths and dense woods The first is, that two of Mr. Jefferson's rivals | about Monticello, now and then bursting happened to meet on Mrs. Skelton's door- | forth into passionate grief. He kept his 309 John I. OF THE GREAT Jefferson, Thomas promise to his wife and, though he was for accustomed to name the English, as distin- many years thrown into the society of the guished from the French, “the Goddams.” court circles of France and the United States, This is the more to be noticed as she had an we have no record of his making love the utter horror of profanity. When she took second time.-FRANK G. CARPENTER, Lippin command of the six thousand soldiers that cott's Magazine, July, 1886. under her lead threw themselves into Orléans, The night before we left young Randolph she first required that the profane and disso- came up late from Charlottesville lute French men-at-arms who marched under and brought the astounding news that the Eng. her sacred banner should entirely banish lish had been defeated before New Orleans from their minds, as well as from their lips, by General Jackson. Mr. Jefferson had made their copious stores of ribaldry and blas- up his mind that the city would fall and phemy. La Hire, one of the bravest and told me that the English would hold it per- coarsest of her captains, growlingly consented manently-or for some time-by a force of to talk like a decent human being. Yet she sepoys from the East Indies. He had gone always spoke of the English by the name to bed, like the rest of us; but of course his they had doubtless obtained by the profusion grandson went to his chamber with the paper with which they lavished their national im- containing the news. But the old philosopher precation on their enemies. Her knowledge refused to open his door, saying he could of the English language was probably con- wait till morning, and when we met at break- fined to this single phrase. When she was preparing her assault on one of the strongest fast I found he had not yet seen it.-GEORGE TICKNOR, letter, February 7, 1815. forts that the English had erected against Orléans, she was asked by a French soldier JINGO. to partake of a breakfast of fish, before she The men of action got a nickname. They set out on her hazardous expedition. "In were dubbed the Jingo party. The term, ap- the name of God," she exclaimed, "it shall plied as one of ridicule and reproach, was not be eaten till supper, by which time we adopted by chivalrous Jingoes as a name of shall return by way of the bridge, and I will pride. The Jingoes of London, like the beg. bring you back a Goddam to eat it with.” gars of Flanders, accepted the word of con- And in her lonely dungeon, after she had been tumely as a title of honor. In order to avoid captured and imprisoned, she proudly said to the possibility of any historical misunder the Earls of Warwick and Stafford: “You standing or puzzlement hereafter about the think when you have slain me you will con- meaning of Jingo, such as we have heard of 1 quer France; but that you will never do. No! concerning that of whig and tory, it is well Although there were a hundred thousand to explain how the term came into existence. more Goddams in this land than there are Some Tyrtaeus of the taptable, some Koer- now.”—EDWIN P. WHIPPLE, The North Amer- ner of the music-halls, had composed a bal- ican Review, June, 1885, citing Julian Shar- lad which was sung at one of these caves of | man, "A Cursory History of Swearing.” harmony every night amidst the tumultuous JOHN I., 1357-1438. King of Portugal. applause of excited patriots. The refrain of this war-song contained the spirit-stirring John I. had risen early to hunt at some words, “We don't want to fight, but, by distance from Cintra. In passing through Jingo, if we do, we've got the ships, we've got his chamber he happened to meet one of the the men, we've got the money too.” Some maids of honor and presented a rose to her one, whose pulses this lyrical outburst of na- at the same time saluting her on the cheek. tional pride failed to stir, called the party The gallantry was not unwitnessed, for the of its enthusiasts the Jingoes.-JUSTIN MC- queen was entering the room by a side door. CARTHY, “History of Our Own Times.” In the confusion of detection the king could only say, “Por bem, por bem,” meaning that JOAN OF ARC. 1412-1431. he meant no harm, had only taken an inno- The English were called by the French cent liberty. The queen made no remark, but peasants, who did not understand their lan her revenge showed that she was not implac- guage, “the Goddams." The heroes of Agin ably offended. On the king's return after a court were thus named, after their favorite few days he found the roof of the dining room oath. When, afterwards, the last step to painted all over with magpies, each bird hold- make France an English province, or to make | ing a rose branch in its claws and a label in England a province of France, was thwarted its beak, on which labels were painted the by the genius and faith of Joan of Arc, it is words, “Por bem, por bem.” The king was curious that this wonderful peasant girl was pleased to be rebuked so playfully and adopt- Johnson, Andrew Johnston, General 310 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ed the Por bem for his motto. This was our in the well-known language of old Tennessee, guide's version of the tale and much the pret- that Andy Johnson was to be shot on sight. tiest of the three traditions that are cur. Friends of the governor assembled at his rent. A second tells us that the king himself | house, desirous to form a bodyguard to es- caused the ceiling of his room to be painted cort him to the State house. "No," said he, in that manner, in attestation of the inno "gentlemen, if I am to be shot at, I want no cence of the proceeding in which he had been man to be in the way of the bullet." He detected and that he now applied in the sense walked alone and with his usual deliberation of our "Honi soit qui mal y pense," the motto through the streets to his official apartments Por bem, which he had previously adopted as on Capitol Hill.-SAVAGE, quoting "a recent a declaration of his disposition to do good to writer.” his people. The third interpretation is that It is a true story that a Pennsylvania the adventure was whispered from mouth to senator was very much chagrined at Presi- mouth among the ladies, to the scandal and dent Johnson's refusing him an appointment great disturbance of the poor maid of honor for a constituent, when the senator was very and that the king, to punish the palace gos- close to the president's policy. “Why, Mr. sips, caused their malicious garrulity to be President," the senator said, “that appoint- thus typified.—The Quarterly Review, June, ment is worth $5,000 to me.” The president 1847, citing “A Journal of a Few Months' suddenly turned his chair towards his desk Residence in Portugal,” by a Lady. and filled up a check for $5,000 and tendered JOHNSON, Andrew, 1808-1875. American it to the senator, who, of course, refused it. - statesman. JAMES M. SCOVEL, The National Magazine, Johnson was announced to speak on one of April, 1903. the exciting questions of the day and loud He seemed to believe that those who op- threats were uttered that, if he dared to ap- posed him politically would harm him in pear, he should not leave the hall alive. At every possible way. About 1857 his arm was the appointed hour he ascended the platform broken in an accident on the Chattanooga and, advancing to the desk, laid his pistol railway, and was so badly set by a country upon it. He then addressed the audience in doctor that Dr. Paul F. Eve, then considered terms as near like the following as my in- | to be the best surgeon in Nashville, who was formant could recollect: "Fellow Citizens-It | called in later, decided that it must be broken is proper, where men assemble for the dis- again and reset. The operation was per- cussion of important public interests, that formed in a bedroom in a hotel in Nashville, everything should be done decently and in where Johnson boarded, the arm being pulled order. I have been informed that part of | around a bed post, and the first bedpost the business to be transacted upon the selected for the purpose was fluted or grooved. present occasion is the assassination of the After Johnson had nearly fainted from the individual who now has the honor of ad- pain he asked whether a square bedpost could dressing you. I beg repectfully to pro- | not be used, and the breaking was completed pose that this be the first business in with the aid of a square bedpost. Mr. John- order. Therefore, if any man has come here son, when he told my mother of this incident, to-night for the purpose indicated, I do not said that Dr. Eve had purposely used the say to him, Let him speak, but Let him grooved post in order to torture him, because shoot.” Here he paused with his right hand he was a democrat and Eve a whig.-HAR- on his pistol and the other holding open his RIOT S. TURNER, Harper's Magazine, January, coat, while with his eyes he blandly surveyed | 1910. the assembly. After a pause of half a min- General Grant offered to introduce me ute he resumed: "Gentlemen, it appears that to President Johnson, whom I had never met. I have been misinformed. I will now proceed We walked across to the executive mansion to address you on the subject which has called and General Grant gave the usher a card on us together.”~JOHN SAVAGE, “Life and Pub- which was written, "General Grant with Gen- lic Services of Andrew Johnson.” eral Gordon of Georgia," with instructions to When we were at Nashville seven years the usher to hand it to the president. We ago anecdotes of the coolness and courage of were at once admitted to his presence and I Governor Johnson were among the current was introduced by General Grant as General coin of conversation. One gentleman, a polit Gordon, with some complimentary reference ical opponent of the governor, an eye-witness to my rank and services in General Lee's of the occurrence, told us that a placard was army. The president met this introduction posted in the town one morning announcing, | by these words, pronounced with peculiar em- 311 Johnson, Andrew Johnston, General OF THE GREAT phasis, “How are you, Mr. Gordon ?” espe JOHNSTON, Albert Sidney, 1803-1862. cially accentuating the word "Mister.”-GEN American general. ERAL JOHN B. GORDON, “Reminiscences of the General Johnston sometimes told an anec- Civil War." dote of his early boyhood, from which he He refused an invitation one day to dine was wont to draw many a valuable moral. with A. V. Brown, a leader of the democratic Playing marbles "for keeps"-a species of party in Tennessee and afterwards Buchan boyish gaming-was a favorite sport of his an's postmaster-general, although all the boyhood days, and he was so skilful and guests were to be fellow democrats, and let successful a marble-player that at one time them know that on that day he had dined he had won a whole jarful of white alleys, with his washerwoman, off bacon and cab- taws, potters, etc. It was then that the de- bage. sign entered his breast of winning all the marbles in the town, in the state and even- His only creed was democracy and he tually in the world. Filled with enthusiasm professed to believe that mechanics were at the vastness of his project, he cast about superior to other men. "Why then, gover- for the means; and finally concluded, as the nor,” said my mother to him one day when first step, to secure his acquisitions by bury- he reiterated this belief, "why did you make ing them. He buried his jar very secretly, lawyers of Charles and Robert, both your reserving only marbles enough “to begin life sons?” “Because they had not sense enough on." Purpose lent steadiness to his aim, to be mechanics," he retorted. He used to so that again he beat all his rivals “in the say, "I thought better when I was on the ring" and added daily to his store. Only one tailor's bench," and that women were more competitor stood against him, whose re- fortunate than men in that they had some sources seemed to consist not so much in skill occupation for their hands in needle-work.- as in an exhaustless store of marbles, that I!ARRIOT S. TURNER, Harper's Magazine, were sacrificed with a recklessness arguing January, 1910. unlimited pocket money. At last he, too, JOHNSON, Reverdy, 1796-1876. American succumbed, and the victor went with a jar statesman. larger than the first, to add it to his spoils. The American Minister, Mr. Reverdy John- To his dismay, however, he found his hoard son, distributed yesterday week the prizes plundered and his treasure gone. The inferi. awarded by the Birkbeck Institute to pupils or, but desperate, marble-player had furtive- ly watched him, robbed him and then staked of both sexes. After commenting, as he was and lost his ill-gotten gains. The second jar in duty bound, on the importance of femi- contained the same marbles as the first and nine culture, and also awarding the usual larceny had contended for empire with am- compliments to the memory of Lord Brough- bition. General Johnston said that he felt am and Dr. Birkbeck, Mr. Reverdy Johnson, the lesson as a distinct rebuke to his avarice speaking on America and England with a and rapacity; the plans he had built upon touch of true American humor-not the less success vanished; and he learned that world- humorous because what he said may have wide renown as a marble-player was merely had its truth-went on to remark that "not only are our institutions identical, but we “vanity and vexation of spirit.” speak the same language, and although we The habits of all classes at that time speak it better than you do, we understand were plain and unostentatious; but this fam- each other and by and by you will be able to ily were necessarily trained to Spartan sim- speak the language as well as we do.”— plicity that was ever after the rule and habit London Spectator, 1868. of life most congenial to the subject of this In the clerk's office Mr. Reverdy Johnson memoir. Captain Wilson Duke, United States Navy, one of the choice friends of his berated some man who had recently pub- lished one of his former letters in which it youth, used laughingly to tell how he tore appeared he, Mr. Johnson, had not been en- off the ruffled shirt collar and hid his shoes tirely consistent. Whereupon Mr. Badger on the road to school, from fear of Albert Johnston's ridicule. warmly urged Mr. Johnson to make the man produce the original letter, and Mr. Johnson During his sojourn as bachelor at Jeffer- wanted to know what good that would do. son barracks, being fond of music, he tried “Why," said Mr. Badger, "no one on earth to learn to play the flute. A wide difference can read it but yourself and you can read it of opinion existed between himself and his to suit you."-A. H. GARLAND, “Experiences friends as to his musical aptitude. He per- in the United States Supreme Court.” | severed in spite of their jests until these and Johnston, General Josephino, Empress 312 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the resulting doubts in his mind rendered the act of her civil marriage with Bonaparte, him somewhat irritable on the score of his still extant on the revolutionary registers of skill. One day, as he was practising in his Paris, Josephine's birth is placed in 1767. room, he heard a tapping on the floor above, The four years, however, thus deducted from occupied by a fellow officer. Instantly refer- | her real age must be assigned either to mis- ring this to his music, and regarding it as an take or, not improbably, in the instance indecorum, he nevertheless continued the air; quoted, to voluntary forgetfulness. It is de- but when it occurred again he stopped and serving of notice also, as something like a the tapping stopped. Waiting a moment to mutual abnegation of curious inquiry on that restrain his rising anger, he resumed the tune head, that in the same instrument one year and the tapping began again. This was too is added to the general's age. The births of much for the outraged patience of the angry the children of her first marriage are like- musician, who, dashing down his flute, sprang | wise decisive on the point; and, in truth, so up the stairs, determined to exact satisfac little attention has been paid to consistency tion. To a thundering knock at the door a here, that we have read biographies of Jo- friendly voice replied, inviting him to come sephine whose authors, with an innocent in- in, and when he strode in he found his neigh advertence to the fact, make her a mother at bor, with a look of mild inquiry at his evi the age of little more than ten years.--JOIN dent excitement, unsuspiciously cracking wal S. MEMES, “Memoirs of the Empress Jo- nuts on his hearth. With a brief apology for sephine." his intrusion, he rushed downstairs again, There is one story, however, which is not mortified by his own hastiness and loss of an invention, although it sounds very much temper. He at once gave up the flute; for, as like one, and that is the well-known predic- he said, "I did not think that a man so sensi- tion made to Josephine when a child announc- tive about his skill was fit for a flute-player.” ing to her that she would ascend the throne -WILLIAM P. JOHNSTON, “Life of General Al- of France. Josephine repeated this story so bert Sidney Johnston,” Copyright, D. Apple- often that at last people began to doubt ton & Co. it. And yet it was quite true; General Le- While at Corinth, the owner of a drug marque reproduces the story in his mem- store living in Tennessee, near to Donelson, oirs; and as this story gives certain details represented to the general that his entire which we do not find in any other work, as it stock of drugs had been taken by a Confeder confirms once and for all what otherwise ate quartermaster for the use of his command might be considered an invention of Joseph- and paid for in Confederate money, which was ine's fertile brain, we will reproduce it here; useless to him. He had come to ask the | no biographer hitherto has taken the trouble general if he might not be paid at least its to look for this prediction in the memoirs of equivalent in Tennessee funds, the difference the hero of Fontarabia and Capri: “In my between the two being then ten or fifteen to childhood,” says General Lemarque, “I often one.... He directed the quartermaster to met Josephine at the house of an American, take back the Confederate money and give in Madame de Holstein, with whom she had its stead its equivalent in Tennessee currency, been brought up; she was then the wife of remarking to me at the time, “It wouldn't Alexander de Beauharnais, who was much re- be honest to pay a man in the enemy's lines marked at the Assemblée constituante for in money which had no value to him.” his wit, his charming manners and his patri- JOHNSTON, quoting Dr. T. W. YANDALL, Gen otic principles. I saw her some years later eral Johnston's medical director. when I was ordered to carry the banners won from Spain at the battle of Saint-Martial General Johnston's deliberateness is il- and at the taking of Fontarabia; she, togeth- lustrated by his remark to a precipitate er with good Madame de Holstein, had only friend who was about to run across the street in front of a carriage driving rapidly, "There just been released from prison, and we dined is more room behind that carriage than in with the celebrated General Santerre, who front of it.”—JOINSTON. had shared these ladies' captivity and shown them all manner of little attentions. It was JOSEPHINE, 1763-1814. Empress of then I heard mention for the first time (ther- France. midor, 1794) the prediction which a gipsy Of this parentage the only child, the sub had made: ‘that she would be queen of ject of these Memoirs, was born at St. Pierre, France some day but that she would not die the capital of Martinico, on the 23d of June, a queen'--'Robespierre almost prevented that 1763. By some authorities, and among others | prediction from coming true,' said she with a 313 Johnston, General OF THE GREAT Josephine, Empress little laugh. Josephine married Bonaparte; 1 prediction forcibly recurred to my mind after he was commanding the army of Italy at the a lapse of years; and though I was myself time; his name was in everybody's mouth, then in prison, the transaction daily assumed and Madame de Holstein, when on her death a less improbable character, and I ended by bed, said to me in a feeble voice, 'Well, my regarding the fulfilment as almost a matter friend, the gipsy, was out in her geography; of course.” The above recital might be cor- Josephine will not be the queen of France, roborated, if necessary, by the evidence of but of Italy.” “I repeat these details,” Gen various persons, who, at different times, had eral Lemarque adds, “because they relate to likewise heard it from the lips of the indi- the strangest stroke of good fortune which vidual concerned. One of these has given the perhaps ever befell any woman.”—JOSEPH narrative with less simplicity, but more dra- TURQUAN, “The Wife of General Bonaparte." matic effect, by putting into the mouth of the The following is the narrative in her sable prophetess the words, “Thou shalt be own words, as she long after related the cir- greater, yet less, than queen of France." As cumstances to the ladies of her court: “One the writer, however, professes a knowledge of English literature, this variation may be set day, some time before my first marriage, down to an imitation of Shakespeare's weird while taking my usual walk, I observed a sisters. Be this as it may, that such a pre- number of negro girls assembled around an diction was actually delivered at the time old woman, engaged in telling their fortunes. I drew near to observe their proceedings. The there appears no reason to doubt; and that old sibyl, on beholding me, uttered a loud Josephine mentioned, and even in some mea- sure acted upon it, before events had trans- exclamation, and almost by force seized my hand. She appeared to be under the greatest pired, is certain.-MEMES. agitation. Amused at these absurdities, as We must not blame Josephine for liking I thought them, I allowed her to proceed, dogs; on the contrary, it was one of her good saying, 'So you discover something extraor: points: and in caring for Fortune, she was dinary in my destiny?' 'Yes.' 'Is happi only fulfilling her duty, as we shall now see. ness or misfortune to be my lot?' ‘Misfor And then this little four-legged personage oc- tune. Ah, stop!—and happiness too.' 'You cupies so important a part in history that he take care not to commit yourself, my good is worthy of being introduced to my readers. dame; your oracles are not the most intel The poet Arnault, who had the honor to enjoy ligible.' 'I am not permitted to render them his acquaintance and to belong to the Acad- more clear,' said the woman, raising her eyes émie Française, will now introduce him to with a mysterious expression towards heaven. us. "Fortune,” said he, "was neither hand- ‘But to the point,' replied I, for my curiosity some, good-natured nor nice. He was short- began to be excited; 'what read you concern- | legged; his body was long, his color was more ing me in futurity?' 'What do I see in the red than fawn-colored; this pug-dog, with a future? You will not believe me if I speak.' nose like a weasel, only resembles his distant “Yes, indeed; I assure you. Come, my good relations by his black muzzle and corkscrew mother, what am I to fear and hope?' ‘On tail. In his infancy he had promised to be your own head be it then. Listen: You will handsome, but as he grew up these promises be married soon; that union will not be hap. | came to naught; nevertheless, Josephine and py; you will become a widow, and then—then her children were very fond of him, when a you will be queen of France. Some happy | sad event made him still dearer to them. years will be yours; but you will die in a Josephine, who had been arrested at the same hospital, amid civil commotion. On con- | time as her husband, was lying in prison cluding these words," continued Josephine, suffering tortures of anxiety; she knew not "the old woman burst from the crowd and of what was going on outside the walls of hurried away as fast as her limbs, enfeebled her prison. Her children, together with their by age, would permit. I forbade the bystand governess, were allowed to see her at the ers to molest or banter the pretended prophet | wicket-gate. But how could they speak to ess on this ridiculous prediction; and took her in private? The concierge was always occasion, from the seeming absurdity of the | present at these interviews. As Fortune was whole proceeding, to caution the young ne- also present and as he was allowed to go in gresses how they gave heed to such matters. and out of the prison, the governess con- Henceforth I thought of the affair only to trived a plan by which she hid a paper con- laugh at it with my relatives. But after- taining all the news which she did not dare wards, when my husband had perished on the to impart to her mistress under a new collar scaffold, in spite of my better judgment this which she then fastened to Fortune's neck. Josephine, Empress 314 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Josephine, who was not wanting in shrewd and Leonce Pingaud, "A Secret Agent During ness, guessed what she had done. The same the Revolution and the Empire." messenger carried her reply. Thus she and Had he but known that his wife received her friends kept up an active correspondence one thousand francs a day from Fouché for under the very eye of the gaoler, and by this keeping that individual informed of all that means she was able to learn of her friends' went on in the Tuileries! Poor Bonaparte! efforts to save her and so she kept up her neither did he know that his good Josephine courage. The family was as grateful to the “received the sum of five hundred thousand dog for his useful services as if he had known franes for giving the contract for supplying what he was doing, and he became, both to the Army of Italy with provisions to the the children and their mother, the object of a Compagnie Flachat, whose shameful chican- veneration which the general was obliged to ery caused such awful misery and suffering tolerate whether he liked it or not."--TU'R- among our troops during the siege of Genoa QUAN. and eventually forced Massena to treat with She spent her life foretelling the future Melas.”—TURQUAN, citing Fouché and quot- from cards and lamenting her fate.-GASTON ing Thiebault. MAUGRAS and COMTE P. DE CROZE-LEMERCIER, "Memoirs of the Marquis de Custine.” Bonaparte was in the habit of occupying the same room with his wife; she had cleverly Madame d’Aiguillon grew faint and I persuaded him that doing so tended to in- led her towards the window, which I threw sure his personal safety. "I told him," she open that she might breathe the fresh air; said, "that as I was a very light sleeper, if I suddenly caught sight of a poor woman who any nocturnal attempt against him were was making signs to us, which we could not made, I should be there to call for help in a understand. She was laving hold of her moment.” In the evening she never retired gown at every moment and we were still at a until Bonaparte had gone to bed. But when loss to know what she meant; finding that M'lle Georges was in the ascendant, as she she continued I cried out to her "Robe," she used to visit the château very late, he did not nodded in the affirmative and then picked up on those occasions go to his wife's room until a stone, placing it in her gown, which she an advanced hour of the night. One evening again laid hold of, raising the stone with the Madame Bonaparte, who was more than usu- other hand. "Pierre," I again cried out to ally jealous and suspicious, kept me with her. Her joy was unbounded when she dis- her and eagerly talked of her troubles. It covered that we at last understood her, and, was one o'clock in the morning; we were bringing her gown close to the stone she made alone in her boudoir and profound silence quick and repeated signs of cutting her reigned in the Tuileries. All at once she throat and began to dance and applaud the rose. “I cannot bear it any longer,” she said; act. This strange pantomime excited an emo- "Mille Georges is certainly with him. I tion in our minds which it is impossible to will surprise them.” I was alarmed by this describe, as we ventured to hope that it gave sudden resolution and said all I could to us the announcement of Robespierre's death. dissuade her from acting, but in vain. "Fol- Whilst we were in this state of alternate fear low me," she said; "we will go up together." and hope, we heard a great noise in the pas- Then I represented to her that such an act, sage and the formidable voice of the door- very improper even on her part, would be in- keeper, who, giving a kick to his dog, said to tolerable on mine; and that, in case of her the animal, “Will you move on then, making the discovery which she expected, I Robespierre?” This energetic phrase proved should certainly be one too many at the scene to us that we had nothing more to apprehend which must ensue. She would listen to noth- and that France was rid of the tyrant.- ing; she reproached me with abandoning her GEORGETTE DUCREST, “Memoirs of the Em- in her distress, and she begged me so earnest- press Josephine," quoting Josephine. ly to accompany her, that, notwithstanding She received certain sums of money de my repugnance, I yielded, saying to myself rived from taxes levied on gaming houses as that our expedition would end in nothing, as a reward for her services, and that Fouché no doubt precautions had been taken to pre- always gave her money with his own hand, vent a surprise. Silently we ascended the or else made Madame de Copons, the widow back stairs leading to Bonaparte's room; of a former magistrate at Perpignan and re Madame Bonaparte, who was much excited, lated in some way to Madame Bonaparte, going first, while I followed slowly, feeling give it to her.-TURQUAN, citing Theodore very much alarmed at the part I was made Jung, “Lucien Bonaparte and His Memoirs," | to play. On our way we heard a slight noise. 315 Josephine, Empresa OF THE GREAT Madame Bonaparte turned to me and said, cated with the success of his overtures, de- “Perhaps it is Rustan, Bonaparte's Mame- manded by anticipation the congratulations luke, who keeps the door. The wretch is of his friends; but he discovered, before retir- quite capable of killing us both.” On hear ing to rest, that the memorial was still in ing this, I was seized with such terror that I his pocket, and he had left as its substitute could not listen further and, forgetting that in the hands of his patroness a long bill from I was leaving Madame Bonaparte in utter his tailor. In despair at an incident which darkness, I ran back as quickly as I could to threatened annihilation to all his new-raised the boudoir, candle in hand. She followed hopes, he passed a sleepless night, and early me a few minutes after, astonished at my in the morning was again on his road to Mal- sudden flight. When she saw my terrified maison, determined, as his last chance, to face, she began to laugh, which set me off explain the whole affair to Madame Bona- laughing also, and we renounced our enter parte. His consternation may be imagined prise. I left her, telling her that the fright when, advancing with outstretched hand to she had given me was a very good thing for meet him, she anticipated his explanation her, and that I was very glad I had yielded with: "How happy I am! I have delivered to it.—“MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, "Memoirs." your memorial to the First Consul, and we read it together; it was admirably drawn But, if Madame Bonaparte's credit with up,” added she, with an approving smile, the authorities was at a low ebb, her reputa- "and made a great impression on him. He tion for it was also injured by her own pro- told me Berthier should report it, and within ceedings; for example, among her most at- a fortnight all will be settled. I assure you, tached friends was Madame Houdetot, and mon cher, this success, for I consider the af- her interposition was for once successful in fair as concluded, made me the whole of recommending that lady's brother, M. de yesterday the happiest woman in the world.” Cere, to the First Consul's favor, in which -DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, “Memoirs." sense, good manners and a pleasing address rapidly advanced him. He was becoming a Was not that German author a prophet familiar on the establishment when he was when he said during the Directoire: "A Pari- sent on a mission, and a certain day fixed for sian lady requires three hundred and sixty- his return, after which he was to receive the five bonnets, as many pairs of shoes, six hun- appointment of aide-de-camp. But, alas, dred dresses and twelve chemises”? He was youth is heedless, and M. de Cere exceeded mistaken about the chemises, at least in his appointment by a whole fortnight. Na Madame Bonaparte's case, for she changed poleon, doubly incensed by the neglect of his hers three times a day, so that twelve would orders and his own error of judgment, a cir: not have been enough. As for dresses, she cumstance not very common, would listen to had some very extraordinary costumes which no solicitations for pardon and peremptorily are quite worth mentioning. Here is one prohibited the young man's reappearance be which she wore at the house of her brother- fore him; while Madame Bonaparte observed in-law and enemy, Lucien, during the early that "a volcanic head, leading into follies for days of the consulate; it was made of white want of reflection, would not be associated | crêpe entirely covered with little feathers with the indolence of a Creole.” After many from that strange bird called the toucan; months had elapsed, determined on a new these feathers were sewn on the crêpe and a effort to recover his lost ground, he solicited, little bead was glued to the tip of each through the medium of his sister and of feather. Madame Bonaparte wore a complete Savary, who was also his friend, an audience set of rubies with this costume. In her hair, of Madame Bonaparte, and to his great joy artistically arranged by the hairdresser, Du- was desired to repair on the morrow to Mal plan, whose salary exceeded that of a general, maison, furnished with a very clear and ex she wore a garland of toucan plumes sprinkled plicit memorial, which Josephine promised to with beads, which gave her a very singular ex- forward. Arriving at the château, he found pression. But here is even a more eccentric Madame, as usual, gracious and enchanting; costume: it was also made of white crêpe she told him that the First Consul, already and scattered all over with rose leaves, real predisposed by her, would easily overlook an rose leaves of the palest pink; this very irregularity, which M. de Cere promised to springlike trimming could only be added just obliterate by future good conduct, and con before putting on the dress; and then she cluded by receiving his memorial, and recom could only wear this strange, sweet-smelling mending him to come himself in a few days costume at home for an hour or two at the for the answer. The poor young man, intoxi- | most and she was obliged to keep standing all Josephine, Empress Junot, General 316 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the time; for, even supposing she was as light who heard of this incident, became very un- as a sylph, how could she have sat down on easy when she was informed that her portrait those rose leaves without crumpling them a had fallen out of its frame. "Oh!" she cried; little? It is a curious fact that this is the “it is all over with me. 'Tis a sign that he only pink dress Madame Bonaparte wore dur- is going to divorce me. Bonaparte will tear ing the days of the consulate; and this dress himself away from me, as my portrait has was not really pink; it only looked so on ac been torn from the lid of that snuff-box."- count of the petals which were sewn on it. TURQUAN. Afterwards, at the fête given at the distribu- tion of the crosses of the Legion of Honor, M. de Talleyrand did his best to get Na- she wore a really pink dress. Towards the poleon to divorce Josephine, so that he might end of the empire she often wore pink in marry Princess Wilhelmina of Baden. Napo- order to try and look younger, but when leon probably told Josephine all about the youth has once fled it never returns.—TUR- matter and Josephine revenged herself in a QUAN. very witty manner upon M. de Talleyrand by asking him to marry his old mistress, Ma- The Parisians often diverted themselves dame Grand.—TURQUAN. at the expense of the Count de Cobentzel, the second ambassador of that name who On the very day of her death she wished came to France. His reputation for avarice to put on a very pretty dressing gown be- was so great that Josephine, then Madame cause she thought the emperor of Russia Bonaparte, resolved to play a trick upon him. would perhaps come to see her. She died all On a court day she chose him for her partner covered with ribbons and rose-colored satin. at whist. He was unfortunate and lost sev “One would not, sure, be frightful when eral rubbers in succession. On every occasion one is dead.”-MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, "Me- of ill luck his partner said to him, “I am moirs.” really vexed, count, to see you losing in this way, but you will be more fortunate the next JONES, John Paul, 1747-1792. Scottish- time," and addressed a thousand other phras. American seaman. es to him which cut him to the heart, as he When he came within cannon shot I made was fully persuaded that the wife of the sail to try his speed. Quartering and finding First Consul must be playing for very high that I had the advantage I shortened sail to stakes. His vexation increased and, not- give him a wild goose chase and tempt him withstanding his court habits, he could not to throw away powder and shot. According. conceal it. Madame Bonaparte committed ly a curious mock engagement was main- fault on fault, which tripled the torment of tained between us for eight hours, until night her unfortunate partner, whose distress aug. with her sable curtains put an end to this mented to such a degree that large drops of famous exploit of English knight errantry. perspiration appeared on his forehead. At He excited my contempt so much, by his con- last cards were given up and the trembling tinued firing at more than twice the distance, ambassador asked, in a querulous voice, how that when he rounded to, to give his broad- much he had to pay. “Nothing, count," said side, I ordered my marine officer to return Josephine, “and that will explain to you the the salute with only a single musket.-JOHN philosophy with which I supported our run PAUL JONES, letter dated September 30, 1776, of bad luck."--DUCREST. Providence off the Isle of Sable. The First Consul, during a fit of temper When Captain Jones was in Paris some aroused by his brother Lucien, who had been short time after the action, he was informed blaming him for something or other, even that Captain Pearson [of the Serapis] had went the length of saying, “Look here, I will been knighted. “Well,” said he, "he deserved crush you as I crush this box.” So saying he it and if I fall in with him again I'll make a flung a gold snuff-box, in the cover of which lord of him.”—CHARLES W. GOLDSBOROUGH, was a miniature of Josephine painted by United States Naval Chronicle, quoted in the Isabey, on the floor. The box was not broken, North American Review, July, 1825. owing to the fact that the floor was carpeted, but the portrait fell out of the cover. Lucien The words with which he replied to the picked up the box and the portrait and pre. astonished Pearson, who saw the enemy's sented them to his brother, saying in an im. ship beaten to a pulp and wondered why he pudent tone, “What a pity! You have did not yield: "I have not yet begun to fight." smashed the portrait of your wife instead of -C. T. BRADY, Munsey's Magazine, July, breaking my original.” Madame Bonaparte, | 1905. 317 General OF THE GREAT JunotJosephineEmpress , , JOSEPH II., 1741-1790. Emperor of Aus | The mania of Catherine [II. of Russia) tria. to sketch everything and complete nothing A story is told in connection with this gar drew from Joseph II. a very shrewd and den (Prater and Augarten) being thrown satirical remark. During his travels in Tau- open to the public. On hearing the emper ris he was invited by her to place the second or's intention a nobleman said, "If the com stone in a town of which she had herself with mon people are allowed to have free entrance, great parade laid the first. On his return he where can I walk with my equals ?” The an said, "I have finished in a single day a very swer was characteristic of Joseph II. "If I important business with the Empress of wish to walk with my equals," he said, "then Russia; she has laid the first stone of a city I must go to the Capuchin crypt.”A. S. and I have laid the last.”—CHARLES F. P. LEVETUS, “Imperial Vienna." MASSON, “Secret Memoirs of the Court of On his way to Brest he stopped a whole Petersburg." day to examine the fine harbor of Nantes in JUNOT, Andoche, Duke of Abrantès, 1771. Bretagne. It was at the time of the insur 1813. French marshal. rection of the United States of America. The The representatives of the people appointed ships being all dressed with their colors, in him a sub-lieutenant and ordered Colonel compliment to the illustrious visitor to Bonaparte to hand him his commission. On Nantes, the new flag of the insurgents, on receiving it, without a word, he tore it up which were thirteen stars, a symbol of the and threw down the pieces. “What are you new constellation rising in the west, was doing ?” said his chief. “What a man ought pointed out to the emperor, who turned away to do who is not the sort to take his epau- his eyes. "I cannot look at that,” said he to lettes from those beggars. When you are a Count Menou, the commander of the place, general give them to me if you think I de- who attended him; "my trade is that of a serve them and you will see how I shall re- royalist.”-JOSEPH WEBER (Lally-Tollendal), ceive them.” Soon afterwards, Bonaparte "Memoirs of Marie Antoinette." being promoted major-general, got Junot made At Rheims he arrived before his suite an officer and took him as his first aide-de- and was just shaving when the inquisitive camp. host asked him whether he belonged to the He was supping with some comrades near suite of the emperor and what office he held the batteries in a tent which I think they about him. “I shave him sometimes," was shared, when a shell from the fort fell in the Joseph's answer.—DR. K. E. VEHSE, "Me- middle of the tent and was about to burst in moirs of the Court, Aristocracy and Diplo- the hole which it had made in the ground. macy of Austria.” Every one had risen and was running away It was on the whole a most creditable when Junot seized a glass and exclaimed, and instructive grand tour. A few light, "To the memory of those of us who are going genial traits of it survive, such as the em to perish!” How far the wine had any influ- peror's getting—as usual in advance of his ence on the effect his words produced I know retinue--to a stage in France where the post- not, but all stopped, took up their glasses and master was about to have his child chris- remained motionless until the shell exploded. tened and volunteering to act as godfather to One fell dead, the others, tossing off their it. When asked by the priest for his name bumpers, cried, “To the memory of a hero!” he replied “Joseph," adding as his surname ... Colonel Bonaparte of the artillery the word "Second.” And then when it came wished to see the author of this freak. He to giving "emperor” as his occupation, one found a young man, full of cleverness and can imagine the amazement of these simple ardor, who had had an excellent education, folk and their delight at the liberal christen and from that time he never lost sight of him. ing gift that accompanied the announcement. Some days afterwards he had occasion to -HORACE RUMBOLD, “Francis Joseph and His order a reconnoissance of considerable dan- Times." ger; involving a risk of being taken prisoner, He visited prisons and a famous tale is Junot offered to undertake it. “Very well," told how one day he asked several prisoners said Bonaparte, “but go in civilian clothes- for what reason they were there. All said your uniform would expose you too much." they were innocent except one who fell on his | “No,” said Junot, "I will never shrink from knees and begged forgiveness, which the kai-| the danger of being killed by a cannon ball, ser granted, saying, "This bad fellow is but I will not run the risk of being hanged spoiling all the innocent ones; send him home as a spy." The duty successfully accom- to his people.”—LEVETUS. | plished, Junot rejoined Bonaparte, who was Janot, General Kaunitz 318 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in one of the advanced batteries, and made his tradiction, did not appear, but he refused report. "Put it in writing," said the colonel, Junot's request for permission to bring poor and Sergeant Junot, using the para pet as Dupuy to him that he might have an oppor- his desk, rapidly and cleverly wrote out his tunity of explaining to himself the motives report in four pages. As he was finishing and cause of his conduct. “Let him explain the first page a round shot, meant for him, himself to his judges," said Bonaparte; "the struck the parapet and covered writer and affair is not in my hands.” Junot was writing with earth. “Polite of those Eng. wounded to the heart by this persevering re- lish,” he said laughing, "to send some sand fusal. He shut himself up with Dupuy, again just when I want it.”—GENERAL PAUL THIE inquiring into the particulars of the affair, BAULT. “Memoirs." and made himself master of them. When this I have before spoken of the mutual at- was done, and he was thoroughly convinced of Dupuy's innocence, he again went to the tachment which subsisted between Junot and commander-in-chief and again introduced the Dupuy, the colonel of the famous Thirty-sec- obnoxious subject. Bonaparte bent his brow ond regiment of which Bonaparte said, “I and murmured his displeasure. It was al- was quite easy, for the Thirty-second was there.” On his arrival in Egypt, Dupuy re- ready the rising wrath of Jupiter. "I have ceived a commission, the nature of which I forbidden you meddling in this affair of General Dupuy; it is altogether a bad busi- cannot specify, but which obliged him to em- ness; but he will be tried to-morrow.” “No, ploy measures that had been forbidden by general, he will not be tried to-morrow." the commander-in-chief. His expedition not "Not to be tried? Why not? I ask," re- only failed, but was attended with fatal con- plied Bonaparte. “For the very simple rea- sequences. Informations were laid against him, minutes of examination were drawn up son that the reporting captain will want | documents to support his charge, and I defy and submitted to the commander-in-chief, and a court martial was appointed. Dupuy was him to produce a single one." Bonaparte went to his escritoire and sought for the pa- a man of romantic honor. On hearing the orders of the commander-in-chief, he said to pers connected with Dupuy's case; but they had disappeared. He turned toward Junot, Junot: "I love nobody here but you I might lose you by a stroke of one of these Mame- his eyes sparkling with indignation. It re- quired all the courage of attachment to face luke's sabers. My resolution is taken-I him in such a mood. Junot was calm, for it shall send two balls of lead through my was now his own fate that was in question. brain. I prefer this much to a trial by “It is I, general," said he, “who have taken court martial.” Junot listened without an- swering, but he knit his brow and proceeded the papers relating to my friend's affair-I have burned them. If you choose to take my to ask an audience of the commander-in-chief. head in exchange-here it is. I value it less "General," said he in a voice of great emo- than the honor of a friend of an innocent tion, "you believe me on my word of honor, friend." The commander-in-chief stood silent- do you not ?" General Bonaparte looked at him with a look of amazement, but immediate- ly looking at Junot, who, without braving him, did not cast down his eyes. “You will ly replied, “I believe in your honor as in my remain for a week under arrest,” said Bona- own--but why do you ask me?" "Why, I not parte at length; "you must be treated like a only give you my word of honor, but I will sub-lieutenant.” Junot bowed and retired to answer with my head that Dupuy is inno- cent.” “Affairs of this nature do not con- his quarters. The next day Eugène came to him from the commander-in-chief on an affair cern you," answered Bonaparte angrily. "Ah, of little consequence connected with the serv. this affair does concern me,” exclaimed Junot ice. He was surprised at finding him under loudly, "when my brother-in-arms says to arrest and inquired the cause, which Junot me, ‘Brother, I shall kill myself if they bring treated as a matter of such small consequence me before a court martial.'” The command- as to have escaped his memory. Eugène re- er-in-chief fixed his eyes upon him on hearing plied that he would request his stepfather to these strange words. Junot repeated his re- release him, because, having a breakfast party quest, but with no better success. He said the next day, Junot's absence would be very nothing to Dupuy about his failure, and the unpleasant to him; but Junot refused to ask next day returned to the commander-in-chief. pardon, as he called it. In the evening, how- Whether Bonaparte was thoroughly con ever, Eugène came again to inform him that vinced of the culpability of Dupuy, or wheth he was released and Junot has ever since er he was under the influence of one of those | been persuaded that General Bonaparte sent fits of ill humor which would not admit con- | his stepson to him purposely to take advan- 319 Kaunitz OF THE GREAT Junot, General tage of his mediation.-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, ors of his hotel as soon as he alighted from "Memoirs." his carriage.--DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. Junot was a true soldier of fortune. He I went to dine with Junot in Lisbon while had a good deal of natural humor. On one the negotiations were proceeding. He lived occasion the exclusiveness of the old French in state at the house of a great tobacco con- nobility was spoken of before him. “And tractor; and Loison (Maneta, as the Portu- why,” said he, "are these people so angered guese called him) lived at the house of Ban- at our elevation? The only difference be- deira, the other great tobacco contractor of tween them and me is that they are descend Portugal. Loison had been ill just before, ants, when I am an ancestor.”—MADAME DE and Junot, having been to visit him, said in RÉMUSAT, "Memoirs." going away to Bandeira---and this Bandeira told me himself-I hope you will take the One of the absurd ceremonies of the greatest care of General Loison, for I must court of Portugal (1805) is that, on the ar- give you notice that if he should die I intend rival of an ambassador, he must give, imme- to bury you under him.-LORD STANHOPE, diately on entering his hotel, a collation to “Conversations with Wellington." the individual who is to introduce him at court. This collation, as it is styled, is noth- Plunder must have been extensive, if ing less than a great dinner, since covers are the means required for its transport be a laid for five and twenty. The ambassador test. Junot demanded five ships to remove and his introducer sit down at table alone, his own personal effects; a man, be it re- face to face, and, without tasting a morsel, membered, who entered Portugal with scarce- amuse themselves with folding and unfolding ly a change of linen.-W. H. MAXWELL, "Life their napkins for the space of five or six of Wellington." minutes, like two automatons. This ludi When made governor of the Illyrian crous custom is more at variance with com provinces, he one morning surprised the mon sense, inasmuch as when the ambassador whole population by appearing in the great arrives by sea there can be no time for un square before his palace on a pedestal, mount- packing the plate and making the requisite ed on a charger unsaddled, unbridled, with arrangements for the observance of this eti: a single filet, himself naked as he was born quette. However, as there is no possibility and personifying an equestrian statue. The of evading the ceremony, the ambassador bor police advanced to stop this scandalous ex- rows from some friendly power whatever may position and to their astonishment found be necessary for the collation. Thus the em- that it was their general-in-chief.—THOMAS bassy of Spain enabled Junot to do the hon. | RAIKES, "Journal,” April 22, 1836. KAUNITZ, Wenzel Anthony Dominic, Prince | case of the empress. His readers received of Kaunitz Rietberg. 1711-1794. Aus- from him in writing an earnest injunction trian statesman. to eschew these two obnoxious words. The In order to protect themselves against wags would have it that even the inocula- tion of trees was not to be spoken of, because treachery on the part of the officials of the it reminded him of the inoculation for the Foreign Office, very drastic remedies have smallpox. His birthday, also, was never sometimes been used in Vienna. I once had in my hands a secret Austrian official to be alluded to. When the Referendery von Binder, for fifty years his friend and con- document, and this sentence has remained in fidant, died, Xaverius Raidt, the prince's my memory: “Kaunitz, not being able to reader, expressed himself in this way: "Baron find out which of his four clerks had be- Binder is no longer to be found." The prince trayed him, had them all four drowned in after some moments' silence, replied, "Has he the Danube by means of a boat with a valve.” died? He was anyway quite old.” The news BISMARCK, “Thoughts and Recollections." of the death of Frederick the Great reached Whatever could remind him of dying him in this way: His reader, with appar- was to be carefully kept in the background. ent absence of mind, told him that a courier All the persons usually about him were had just arrived from Berlin at the Prussian strictly forbidden to utter in his presence ambassador's with the notifications of King the words “death” and “smallpox.” He had Frederick William. Kaunitz sat for some not himself been afflicted with the latter dig. time stiff and motionless in his armchair; order, but he had been shocked by it in the showing no sign of having understood the Kaunitz Kissing 320 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES hint. At last he rose, walked slowly through the room, then sat down and said, raising his arms to heaven, "Alas! When will such a king again ennoble the diadem ?” When the emperor Joseph died the valet returned to Kaunitz the document which the emperor was to have signed, with the words, “The emperor signs no more.” The death of his sister, Countess Questenberg, Kaunitz only knew when he saw his household in mourn- ing. In a like manner he once remained un- acquainted with the recovery of one of his sons from severe illness until the convales- cent came in person to call on him; Kaunitz had never been to see him during his illness. To an old aunt of his he once sent from his table one of her favorite dishes four years after her death. ... Kaunitz had such a transcendent opinion of his own superior merit, that he once said, "Heaven takes a hundred years to form a great genius for the regeneration of an empire, after which he rests a hundred years. This makes me trem- ble for the Austrian monarchy after my death.” When he wished to bestow the high- est praise on anything, he would say, “Even I could not have done it better.” The Prince de Ligne, who once introduced a Russian to him, heard him say to the stranger, “I would advise you, sir, to buy my portrait, for the people in your country will be glad to see the likeness of one of the most cele- brated men, of a man who is the best horse- man, who as the best minister has ruled this monarchy for fifteen years; who knows everything, is aware of everything and un- derstands everything." Schlosser writes in a letter from Vienna in 1783: “Prince Kaunitz is upwards of seventy, but he every day takes a ride in his riding school, in doing which he gives himself the most ridiculous airs; he actually demeans him- self on horseback like a madman. When he wants to run to the right or to the left, he pulls the reins to and fro with the full length of his arm; and, if he reins in, he leans back with all his body. After having executed these maneuvers he said to us with great complacency, 'That is the way a finished horseman does it, so perfectly and quietly that you would suppose the animal was governed by means of some hidden con- trivance.'” He liked to argue with the tailor about the best cut and with the shoemaker about the most suitable shape for a shoe. Even with his brickmaker he would dispute about the best form of bricks. In fact, he thought that he knew all and every- thing better than any one else. ... The table was most exquisitely supplied, but the guests, according to the statement of the English tourist Swinburne, were expected not to touch certain particular dislıcs of the dessert which were reserved for the prince's own use. Swinburne asserts that, when he once neglected the warning which had been given on that score, Kaunitz sulked with him for several days. . . . If the prince accepted an invitation to any other house, his host, whatever might be his rank, had to allow Kaunitz's cook to supply the principal dishes of his master-who in this respect went so far as to have the wine, the bread and even the water sent to him from his own house. ... His coach was hermetically closed and his favorite exercise of horsemanship was taken under cover, except in the heat of summer. “The prince is coming” was the signal for closing the ever-open windows of Maria Theresa's apartments, and Caroline Pichler says that he wore nine silk mantles in order to accommodate the layers of drap- ery to the temperature of the room. Yet, in defiance of hygiene, he lived to be eighty. four.---DR. KARL EDWARD VEHSE, "Memoirs of the Court, Aristocracy and Diplomacy of Austria.” One day, at the end of dinner, she [Princess Czartoryska) related that she had known Prince Kaunitz, who had a varied reputation, and incidentally one for impu- dence. Having fine teeth, he attended to them without the slightest regard for his guests. As soon as the table was cleared his valet put a mirror, a basin and brushes before him, and then and there the prince began his morning toilet over again, just as if he had been alone in his dressing room, while every one was waiting for him to finish to get up from the table. I could not sup- press my astonishment and asked the princess if she, too, had waited. “Yes, alas," she replied; “I was so put out of countenance that I only recovered my senses at the foot of the stairs; but later on it was different: I complained of the heat and left the table at dessert.”_COUNTESS POTOCKA, “Memoirs," Copyright, Doubleday, Page & Co. At dinner we had the Count de Burg. hausen, the Countess de Thun, the Countess de Clary, a young widow, the favorite of Kaunitz, and Baron Swieten, son of the famous physician, Mr. Beaky. After dinner the prince treated us with the cleaning of his gums, one of the most nauseous opera- tions I ever witnessed, and it lasted a prodig. iously long time, accompanied with all man- ner of noises. He carries a hundred imple- ments in his pockets for this purpose-such 321 Kaunitz OF THE GREAT Kissing as glasses of all sorts for seeing before leave him to himself.-Bentley's Miscellany, and behind his teeth, a whetting steel for 1851. his knife, pincers to hold the steel with, One of the maxims that he was constant- knives and scissors without number, and cot- ly quoting, and which the Emperor Joseph tons and lawns for wiping his eyes. His might have studied with advantage, was whims are innumerable. Nothing allusive never to do oneself what another can do for to the mortality of human nature must be one. “I would rather tear up paper," he ever rung in his ears. To mention the used to say, “than write a line which anoth- smallpox is enough to knock him up for a er person could write as well as myself.” day. I saw an instance of this: for Burg- hausen, having been long absent, came out He had a great aversion to scents and, with it and the prince looked as black as he if approached by a lady who had any about could all the rest of the day. To derange her, he would accost her bluntl; with the the train of his ideas puts him sadly out of words, “Go away, madame, your odor is sorts. The other day he sent a favorite vile.”—BARON VON GLEICHEN, "Things Worth piece of meat as a present to an aunt of Remembering." his, four years after her decease, and would He carried the extravagant fashion of not have known it but for a blundering ser dressing the hair, which then prevailed in vant, who blabbed it to him. He is full Europe, to the utmost excess, and spent of childish vanities and wishes to be thought whole days in embellishing his head with to excel in everything. He used to have a innumerable buckles. Thus he was more in spiral glass for mixing the vinegar and oil company with his hairdresser than anybody for salads, which he shook every day with else.-CL. RULHIERE, “History of Anarchy in great parade and affectation. At last the bot- Poland.” tle broke in his hands and covered him and two neighboring ladies with its contents. A He was greatly occupied with the care gentleman, not opening a bottle of champagne of his personal appearance, and the mere to his mind, he called for one to give the manner of powdering his hair was a cere- company a lesson in uncorking and frothing mony by itself, a circumstance which, to the liquor; unluckily he missed the calcula- the diarists of the day, seemed curious enough to note. He kept a room solely for tion of his parabola and poured out the wine into his uplifted sleeve, as well as into his the purpose and, when his head was dressed, waist-coat, etc. By-the-bye, he is dressed four servants, standing one in each corner of very oddly; his wig comes down upon his the room, would shake powder out in a cloud. All this elaborate precaution was taken so nose, with a couple of small, straggling curls on each side, placed in a very ridiculous that the powder might settle equally and manner. He is extremely fond of adulation, delicately on the ambassador's hair.- JANET will swallow anything in its shape and in- ALDIS, “Madame Geoffrin, her Salon and her Times.” deed lays it upon himself with a very lib- eral hand.-HENRY SWINBURNE, “The Courts KISSING, Manners and Customs of. of Europe at the Close of the Last Century" The fact that kissing is unknown to various (1841). races has long been recognized. The Mon- Towards the end of dinner the attendants | gols, for example, and many Polynesians and used to bring him a looking glass, together negroes do not kiss, while the Eskimos are with the whole apparatus of a dentist, and said to kiss not as a mark of affection but then he used to clean his teeth carefully be only as a prophylactic against disease; but fore the whole company without any cere. the Eskimo kiss is really only an inhalation mony. On one occasion he happened to dine of breath or sniff, and the practise of snif- at the French Ambassador's, Baron Breteuil. fing to insure health is one not confined to When he was about to begin washing his savages. Instead of kissing, rubbing noses teeth, his host arose with the words, "Let (called hongi) is the Malay and Polynesian us go, the prince wishes to be alone.” From substitute, but among the African negroes it that day Kaunitz never dined abroad. Be- is customary to show affection by means of ing in the habit of retiring at eleven o'clock a vigorous sniff.-E. WASHBURN HOPKINS, at night he would not break the rule for “Journal of the American Oriental Society,” the sake of an archduke, or even the em- | Vol. 28. peror himself, and if he happened to be play. Negroes are entirely ignorant of kissing. ing billiards with him at that hour he -A. L. CUREAU, “Savage Man in Central would throw down his cue, make his bow, and | Africa." Kissing 322 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Origin Spaniards, who kept their women in almost Among the ancient Roman matrons and Oriental seclusion.- MARTIN HUME, “The virgins the use of wine was unknown and the Wives of Henry VIII.” women were taxed with immodesty whose Cavendish describes very minutely the breath smelled of the grape. Pliny says that banquet, balls, masses and boar hunts which Cato was of the opinion that kissing first took place (Wolsey's conference with Francis began between kinsmen and kinswomen, that of France in 1527]; but he is most amusing they might know whether their wives, daugh. in relating his own visit to the Chastel de ters or nieces had tasted wine.-The Eclectic Crequi, where the countess received him most Magazine, November, 1861. gently, having a train of twelve gentlewomen. Pomponius Letus writes that the use "And when she with her train came al of kissing hands did come from the ancient ! | she said to me, Forasmuch,' quoth she, “as emperors, who first gave all their hands to ye be an Englishman, whose custom is in noblemen and then after came the kiss; but your country to kiss all ladies and gentle. to meaner people they gave the knee to be men without offense, and, although it be not kissed.--ANTHONY DU VERDIER, "The Trea so here in this realm, yet will I be so bold sury of Ancient and Modern Times," 1613. to kiss you, and so shall all my maidens. By means whereof I kissed my lady and all her In England women.”—LORD JOHN CAMPBELL, "Lives of With respect to females and children the Lord Chancellors,” Wolsey. their manners are extremely free, insomuch The English display great simplicity and that throughout the whole island, whenever absence of jealousy in their usages towards a person visits a friend, he will kiss the females, for not only do those of the same lady of the house and thus install himself family and household kiss them on the mouth as guest.--"History of Chalcondyles” (about with salutations and embraces, but even those 1450), The Gentleman's Magazine, April, who have never seen them before. And to 1851. them this appears by no means indecent.- Here are girls with angels' faces, so kind NICANDER NUCIUS (about 1550), Camden So- and obliging that you would prefer them to ciety Publications, The Gentleman's Magazine, all your Muses. They have a custom, too, April, 1851. which can never be sufficiently recommended. A merchant of Ulm (about 1600] com- On your arrival you are welcomed with kisses, mitted to paper his experiences in England on your departure you are sent off with and his impressions of the people: “The wom- kisses. If you return, the embraces are re- en there are charming and by nature so peated. Do you receive a visit, your first mighty pretty as I have scarce ever beheld. entertainment is of kisses. Do your guests ... When a foreigner or an inhabitant depart, you distribute kisses among them. goes to a citizen's house on business or is in- Wherever you meet them, they greet you with vited as a guest, and having entered therein, a kiss. In short, whichever way you turn, he is received by the matron of the house, there is nothing but kissing. Ah! Faustus, the lady or the daughter, and by them wel- if you had once tasted the tenderness, the comed-as it is termed in their language- fragrance of these kisses, you would wish to he has even a right to take them by the arms stay in England, not for a ten years' voyage and to kiss them, which is the custom of the like Solon’s, but as long as you lived.- country, and if any one does not do so it is ERASMUS, to Faustus Andrelinus, 1499. regarded or imputed as ignorance and ill- What a different being is Erasmus, the breeding on his part; the custom is also ob- natural man, from Erasmus, the theologian! served in the Netherlands.” The worthy Ulm Hear him again: “It becometn not there. | merchant traveled about Europe a great deal, fore the persons religious to follow the man but he does not tell us of any other country ners of secular persons, that in their con- where kissing was in fashion and the par- gresses and common meetings or departings ticular way in which he notes the custom in done use to kiss, take hands and such other England shows that it was unfamiliar to him. touchings, that good religious persons should It was certainly not common in Sweden in utterly avoid.”-Notes and Queries, October | the seventeenth century for men and women 14, 1893. to kiss in the promiscuous way of the Eng. It was constantly noted by foreign vis. | lish, for when Cromwell's ambassador, Bul. itors that English ladies were kissed on the strode Whitlock, was sent to the court of lips by men. It appears to have been quite Queen Christine, he was requested by her an English custom and greatly surprised | majesty to perform the delicate, but not un 323 Kissing OF THE GREAT congenial, task of instructing the Swedish A custom which 80 greatly astonished ladies in the English mode of salutation. a visitor from abroad in the previous reign Notes and Queries, October 14, 1893. (referring to the reign of Elizabeth) of gen- One of the oddest things to an English tlemen being permitted to kiss their part- traveler on the continent is the sight of two ners, seems by this time to have been dying out. Shakespeare has a passing reference to grown-up men rushing into each other's arms at a railway station and saluting on both it in Henry VIII.: "Sweet, I were unmanner- ly to take you out and not to kiss you." cheeks. Kissing among men has so far gone out of fashion in England that it is hard to But the guest from Castile makes no refer- ence to it, nor to the custom of visitors be- realize that it was once the general mode of salutation. It has been asserted that kissing ing expected to kiss the ladies of the house was introduced by the fair princess Rowena. on being received or taking leave. Readers However this may be, the practise seems to of Gibbon will recall the scandalized aston- ishment of the Greek Chalcondyles at this on have found favor in this country from early his visit to England in the fifteenth century. times and to have continued to be a common form of greeting with men so late as the mid- It was probably regarded as no more of a familiarity than a shake of the hand in dle of the seventeenth century, when it had these days, for Englishwomen were at least ceased to be fashionable in France.--Notes as correct in manners and morals as those of and Queries, October 14, 1893. foreign countries. At any rate, by the seven- Sir J. Shaw did us the honor of a visit teenth century it must have been entirely dis- on Thursday last, when it was not my hap continued in fashionable circles, though it to be at home, for which I was very sorry. probably survived much longer round the I met him since casually in London and rustic maypole, for Venetia Stanley was furi- kissed him there unfeignedly.-EVELYN, ously indignant with Kenelm Digby when he “Diary and Correspondence" (1680). ventured to kiss her on meeting again after Being unaware of the fact that it was long absence and estrangement. Anne Mur- customary in England to kiss the corner of ray also, when she permitted her lover, from the mouth of ladies by way of salutation, in- whom she was parting for good, to kiss her, stead of shaking hands as we do in Hungary, expressly says: “which was a liberty I never my younger brother and I behaved very permitted before, nor should not then"- rudely on one occasion. We were invited to So that clearly these ladies would not have dinner to the house of a gentleman of high allowed it as part of the courtesies of the rank, and found his wife and three daughters, dance.-ELIZABETH GODFREY, "Social Life Un- one of them married, standing in array ready der the Stuarts." to receive us. We kissed the girls, but not How they kiss one another and offer the married ladies, and thereby greatly of their children, even their cats and dogs, to be fended the latter, but Duval (a French Prot- kissed by friends departing! Does this last estant clergyman] apologized for our blunder ceremony show heart hunger or was it affec- and explained to us that when saluting we tation?-B. M. MALABARI, “The Indian Eye must always kiss the senior lady first and on English Life.” leave the girls and children to the last; after The claim of gloves by ladies when they dinner it was considered sufficient to kiss the had stolen a kiss from a sleeping man is al- hostess only in recognition of the hospitality luded to by Gay (1688-1732): “Cicely, brisk received.-NICOLAUS DE BETHLEN, “Autobiog- maid, steps forth before the rout, And kissed raphy." with smacking lips the snoring lout; For cus- When the Constable of Castile visited tom says, “Whoe'er this venture proves, For the English court after the accession of such a kiss demands a pair of gloves.'" James I., proud and pompous as the Spaniard Notes and Queries, January 7, 1893. was, he was right well pleased to bestow a To the best of my knowledge the origin kiss on Anne of Denmark's pretty maids of of claiming a pair of gloves for a stolen kiss honor.-Chambers's Journal, January 26, is still unknown. Sir Walter Scott alludes 1861. to the custom in his “Fair Maid of Perth,” It appears that in the time of Charles II. | c. V., Catherine, finding Henry Gow asleep it was the custom for visitors to kiss the | on St. Valentine's morn, gives him a kiss. senior lady first and leave the girls and chil | Scott, speaking of valentines for the year, dren to the last. Kissing as a mode of greet. says that they had to begin the year with a ing was used in France about the same time. kiss of affection, and that it was looked upon --Notes and Queries, October 5, 1912. | as a particularly propitious omen if the one Kissing Kitchener, General 324 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES party could find the other asleep and awaken other all the ladies presented to him, in other him or her by the performance of this inter words, every woman in Lombardy. ... esting ceremony.-Notes and Queries, Janu The question was more than once raised as ary 28, 1893. to what extent good manners authorized, or The old Derbyshire kissing bunch or rather obliged, well-born women to offer their bush, hung up at Christmas time like a lips to all and sundry, and to lend them- household god, is now almost a thing of the selves to promiscuous capering. ... This past. ... Two wooden hoops—sometimes question was much debated: in general the three or four-passed one through the other, most sensible folk considered that they could were the foundation of the structure. ... not absolutely avoid the custom, accepted as The hoops were firmly tied at the poles of it was in good society, but that it was pos- the skeleton globe and then the bows were sible to practise some reserve; for example, decked lightly with evergreen-yew, box, ivy, to present the cheek instead of the mouth. holly, according to taste. ... For the next Montaigne pities with all his heart the wom- day or two kissing was the sole order of en "who have to lend their lips to any Jack things under this bunch, every visitor being with three lackeys in his suite"; but so triv- kissed, and having to kiss, beneath the mistle- ial an objection seemed to him, by its very toe at the base.—THOMAS RATCLIFFE, Notes triviality, to be of no consequence. "A high and Queries, December 24, 1892. price adds a flavor to meat." He holds rather with those who saw in it a simple act of A little girl of my acquaintance asked courtesy, to which an honest woman could me the other day if I would like a butterfly have no possible objection, or at most so in- kiss. As this kind of salutation was quite significant a favor that there was nothing to new to me, I asked her to explain it, when make a fuss about. We are bound to add, my little friend gave a practical illustration however, that this was not every one's opin- by bringing the lash of one eye against my ion; and that there were not wanting dilet- face, accompanied by an upward and down- tantes who by no means regarded this favor ward movement.-Notes and Queries, April as so unimportant; Ronsard in all frankness 28, 1894. considered it delightful and took infinite The Pope's Toe pleasure in it. As to Melin de St. Gelais, Kissing the pope's toe was a fashion in- on one occasion when he had won a dozen troduced by one of the Leos, who had muti- | kisses at forfeits, he swore that it was not lated his right hand.-Chambers's Journal, half enough: "Twelve is too few compared to January 26, 1861. the infinite.”—R. DEMAULDE, "The Women of the Renaissance.” In Italy and France Formerly the “Queens of France were Italian women disported with this kiss. | held to kiss the princes, dukes and officers ing with perfect grace all sorts of little re- of the crown," who saluted them, but Marie finements. At a casual meeting they con-| [de Medici] refused to conform to this cus- fined themselves to a pleasant handshake; | tom, “begging to be allowed to kiss the king but tête-à-tête with a man they wished to only.”_LOUIS BATIFFOL, "Marie de Medici honor, they would be the first to kiss his ) and Her Court." hand, fondly, and without any of those affec- tations of bashfulness which sometimes in- In Russia spire such bitter afterthoughts. It was a I remember at a ball at Lord Wharn. charming and very natural custom; but in cliffe's house in Curzon street, Madame Brun- France it took quite another complexion. now, for many years the Russian ambassa- Men, being the masters, knew nothing of fine dress in London, appearing in a sort of pink shades and nice distinctions; the having to velvet semi-circular cushion on the top of greet or take leave of an agreeable woman her head, in which many diamonds were was sufficient pretext for kissing her lips, and fastened. The duke [of Wellington) imme- the motive they alleged for this proceeding diately walked up to her and kissed her on was that it struck them as being "amiable both cheeks. The old lady looked extremely and sweet.” In the ball room it was another delighted. ... The duke with his stern story; every dance figure ended with a kiss, sense of duty and total disregard of what ig. and if we must add that it was complicated norant people thought, walked on and Ma- with wild and giddy horse-play, it must be dame Brunnow then explained that on the remembered that a French ball was racy of emperor of Russia's birthday, I think that the soil. Like a genuine Frenchman, Louis was the occasion, everybody kissed everybody XII. felt it his duty to kiss one after an- | else, so far as I could make out; at any rate, la ro. 325 Kissing OF THE GREAT Kitchener, General every one of a certain rank in society, such were about to hurl a bomb straight at Kitch- as dukes, ambassadresses, etc.-WILLIAM ener's head. Kitchener, I am told by two per- FRASER, “Words of Wellington.” sons who were present, never moved a muscle, never turned a hair. He remained exactly Nicholas constantly longed to express as he had been the moment before, occupying his feelings in some new and original way, to his chair as if it were a throne, and showing avoid conformity to ordinary formalities. not the smallest concern for his safety. The ... Boris, on the contrary, pressed the madman, who carried no bomb, was caught three regulation kisses on his cheek quite and removed and K. of K. went on with the calmly and affectionately.-COUNT TOLSTOI, conversation.-HAROLD BEGBIE, “Lord Kitch- “War and Peace.” ener,” Copyright, Houghton, Mifflin & Co. All Russia now breaks out into an Ori. Himself a bachelor, he declined to have ental exuberance of kisses. What arithme- married men on his staff.--New York Sun, tician shall undertake to compute the oscula- June 7, 1916. tory expenditure? Every member of a fam- ily salutes every other member with a kiss. The idea that Kitchener is a woman- All acquaintances, however slight, greet with hater is false and has its origin only in a a kiss and a Christohs vorkress! Long-robed busy man's natural distaste for chatter and mujiks mingle beards and kisses, or brush frivolity. It is said that Queen Victoria their hirsute honors over the faces of their challenged him on this question, anxious to female acquaintances. In the public offices arrange a match for the triumphant young all the employees salute each other and their general and that Kitchener replied, “But I superiors. So in the army. The general em love one woman already, ma'am, and have braces and salutes all the officers of his always loved her.” Here were romance and corps; the colonel of a regiment those be mystery. The old queen raised her head. neath him, besides a deputation of the sol “Who is she?” asked Victoria. “Your maj- diers, and the captain salutes all the men of esty,” replied Kitchener.-BEGBIE. his company. The czar does duty at Easter. When Captain Marchand, the French ex- He must of course salute his family and reti- plorer, marched on to Fashoda with the de- nue, his court and attendants. But this is termination of raising the flag of his be- not all. On parade he goes through the cere- loved France on the banks of the Nile, it was mony with his officers and a selected body of Kitchener's unpleasant duty to stop him. privates, who stand as representatives of the Kitchener's first step was to send a hamper rest, and even with the sentinels at the pal- full of good things to eat with some ice and ace gates.—Harper's Magazine, 1852. excellent champagne, which somewhat ap- peased the anger of the fiery French soldier. In Arabia ---New York Times, June 7, 1916. The emir and his whole court heard with some pleasure the little detail I gave them, When the Durbar was held at Agra in but when I told them of the handsome liberty February, 1907, in honor of the Ameer of the men have with the women, I observed Afghanistan, the bandmasters were instruct- that the prince blushed and that all his court ed to play the Afghan national anthem on were out of countenance. Our custom espe the arrival of the dusky potentate. No one cially of saluting the ladies seemed insup had ever heard of such a tune and finally the portable to them; nothing shocked them so commander-in-chief was appealed to for in- much as that; they could not comprehend structions. "It does not matter two straws,” how a man of honor could suffer his wife or Kitchener replied, “as he does not know a his daughter to be kissed before his face by note of music. Play two or three bars of way of civility; it is with them to injure the something heavy, pompous and slow, and let honor of the whole family.-LAWRENCE D'AR it go at that.” The bandmasters finally de- VIEUX, “Travels in Arabia,” 1718. cided upon a march from one of the older German operas, very little known by the gen- KITCHENER, Horatio Herbert, Earl Kitch- eral public. This was played with such suc- ener of Khartum, 1850-1916. English gen- cess that the newspapers of Bombay, Cal. eral. cutta, Madras and other cities visited by the He was sitting one evening with some Ameer printed columns about the "weirdly friends in the court yard of his house when a beautiful Oriental strains of the Afghan na- fanatic suddenly sprang through the dusk tional anthem," and it has been used ever into the midst of the group and waving his since at all royal functions at Cabul.—New right hand above his head seemed as if he | York Times, June 7, 1916. Kitchener, General Kruger, Paul 326 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Mr. Lloyd George called one day upon A surgeon wrongly diagnosed the illness Lord Kitchener to explain to him that re of a soldier and it was necessary for him to cruiting in Wales would be far quicker if summon two other physicians. Learning the the men were told that they would form a truth he sent for the first doctor and said, Welsh army and serve under a Welsh gen “Take this man to the hospital and yourself eral who understood their traditions and to England.”—New York Sun, June 7, 1916. spoke their language. “But where is your Welsh general ?" demanded Kitchener, who Some officers were in the habit of run- does not greatly like to be bothered with ning down to Cape Town and spending a few details of nationalism. “We had better dis- days at the Mount Nelson hotel, so K. thought cuss that with Colonel Owen Thomas, who it was time the practise was stopped. Unan- has come with me and is now in your waiting nounced he arrived at Cape Town on his room.” Kitchener rang his bell and gave private train one morning and went to the orders for the visitor to be admitted. As hotel. He ordered the night clerk on duty to soon as he saw him he said, “You were in give him the list of the guests and then visit- South Africa ?” “Yes, sir,” replied the colo- ed the various rooms to give them a sur- nel. "Well, you are now brigadier-general prise. When one captain called out on hear- commanding the Welsh army; you'd better ing the rap at the door, “Is that the iced get to work at once.”—BEGBIE. rum and lime juice?" the chief replied, "No; it is only old K, who wants to speak to you." A well-known city man in his dealings | The officer jumped out, thinking it was a with the war office was able to render valu joke, but found out his mistake when he able assistance during the earlier stages of opened the door. K. had only one order for the war. One day urgent and insistent tele the pleasure-loving officers: “A train leaves phone calls were made from the war office to for the lines of communication at eleven the merchant's office. But he had left town o'clock and a transport sails for home at on business for the day. On his return the four this afternoon. You have your choice." next morning he immediately called on the -New York Times, June 7, 1916. head of the department in question. The tone and bearing of this tactless individual Before Lord Roberts left Cape Town he exasperated the merchant, although he was called into his office a certain colonel and generally a mild-mannered man. The atti- charged him with a certain mission. “Now," tude of the head of the department was all said the chief, “how soon can you put this the more incomprehensible to the city mer- through? I know you'll do the best you can.” “Well,” replied the colonel, “I'll try chant, the chief of a big firm, since he was asked to make a considerable sacrifice to the to do it in a fortnight.” “Well,” Lord Rob- war office. This he would have done, as he erts replied, "I know you will do the best had, indeed, done in other ways before, but you can," and with a pleasant smile he dis- missed the officer. Outside the door he met for the rank insolence of this official, who thereby cost many thousands to the war of. Lord Kitchener. “Well ?" said Kitchener fice. The merchant wrote to Lord Kitchener with businesslike abruptness. “Oh," said the formally explaining why he had not been colonel; “I've just seen the chief; he wants able to make the sacrifice. An immediate re- me to do so and so.” “When are you going ply was forthcoming: "Lord Kitchener very to get it through ?” “Well," said the col- much regretted, etc., etc., and the pressure of onel, “I promised to try and do it in a fort- night.” “Now, colonel,” was Kitchener's re- his work made it impossible for him to offer an apology personally. He would be glad, tort, "if this is not done within a week we shall have to see about sending you home.” however, if Mr. (the city merchant) would call again at the war office and see the new -HORACE G. GROSER, “Lord Kitchener.” head of this department.”—SYDNEY A. MOSE Kitchener brought the Boers to surren- LEY, “With Kitchener in Cairo." der by his series of well-organized drives and block houses. British officers under his ener- Kitchener had no use for favorites. A getic influence had to work hard or else be young officer was sent to him in the Orient sent home. Each brigade commander had by the war office. He reported to Kitchener typewritten instructions given him stating who asked him if he knew when the next what he should do and concluding with the steamer sailed for England. “I have not following: "If twenty-four hours elapse with- looked it up, sir.” “Well,” snapped Kitch out my hearing from you I shall take steps ener, "you look it up and sail on that steam- to discover what you are doing.”—New York er.”—New York Sun, June 7, 1916. Times, June 7, 1916. 327 , Paul OF THE GREAT KrugerKitchener, General lic. In South Africa one of Kitchener's com the voice cold with authority, was this, "Yes; panies of yeomanry escaped from a Boer on- | but you ought not to appear before me un- slaught by retreating at full speed. When an shaved.” ... When this story was told to officer reported the fact and asked, “What Kitchener in after years he laughed heartily. shall I do with your yeomen ?” he received —BEGBIE. this answer, “Keep them as far from me as KRUGER, Stephanus John Paulus, 1825- they kept from the Boers.”—New York Sun, 1904. President of the Transvaal Repub- June 7, 1916. At the battle of Atbara a staff officer I am on this occasion able to confirm the rode up to him and on behalf of Sir Archi- | authenticity of an anecdote which tells how bald Hunter asked for some tactical instruc a gentleman who introduced an English lord tions. “Go back and tell him," said Lord to President Kruger, thinking that the latter Kitchener, “that it has taken me three years did not take sufficient account of his aristo- to bring him here to fight this battle and cratic visitor, and hoping to make a greater that the issue is now in his own hands and impression upon him, began to enumerate the not in mine.” – VISCOUNT ESHER, National | important positions which this nobleman oc- Review, July, 1916. cupied and to tell who his ancestors had He was reviewing a drill of a home de- been. Whereupon the president answered drily: "Tell the gentleman that I was a cow- fense company shortly after the German bombardment of Whitby and Scarborough. herd and my father a farmer.”—Note by the The captain asked K. of K.: “Should the editor of the German edition of "Memoirs of Germans come what uniform shall we wear, Paul Kruger.” sir?" "The one you want to be buried in," To these qualities, too, Mr. Kruger adds was the reply.-New York Sun, June 7, 1916. | a playfulness of disposition the manifestations Once in the hottest moment of a blazing of which sometimes surprise those who witness Sudan I incautiously reported that D. had it. It is no uncommon thing for him, as he got sunstroke and therefore could not exe- passes along the corridors of the public build- cute some order. “Sunstroke!” K. replied; ings to his office, to give a friendly dig in the “what the devil does he mean by having sun- ribs with his stick to any personal acquain- stroke? Send him down to Cairo at once.” tance-possibly some highly responsible offi- However, D. being a friend of mine I wired cial-whom he may encounter. There is, too, to warn him that he was under a delusion a well-authenticated story of how, coming out and was quite well and the order was carried of his office with a piece of wood in his hand, out and nothing more heard of the matter.- he gave a pretty sharp rap on the head to Blackwood's Magazine, December, 1902. one of the occupants of the antechamber he had to pass through, doubtless supposing it It happened that Lord Kitchener, during was one of his clerks. “Who's that?” said his Egyptian command, wanted a certain the person struck, who happened to be a mis- bridge to be built and sent for an engineer sionary and a total stranger in Pretoria. to give his orders. When the command was -“Who's that?" was the answer; "why, it's the finished he added, “I will inspect that bridge, president." on " naming a certain date. The engi- When a petition full of complaints from neer expressed his doubts whether the bridge Johannesburg was submitted to the executive, could possibly be finished in so short a time. “Ah," remarked Mr. Kruger, "that's just He was told that on that day Kitchener like my monkey. You know I keep a monkey would come to the spot and if the bridge were not finished there would be trouble. There in my back yard, and the other day, when we were burning some rubbish, the monkey man- the interview ended. The engineer set off on aged to get his tail burned, whereupon he bit his labor of Hercules. He was young, devoted me. That's just like these people in Johan, and ambitious. He worked by night and by nesburg. They burn their tails in the fire of day, did incredible things, and at the moment speculation and then they come and bite me.” when Kitchener arrived had everything ready -F. R. STATHAM, “Paul Kruger and His for inspection. His eyes shining with plea- sure, his face wet with perspiration, his hands Times.” still grimed with the anxious work of the last President Kruger is quoted as having is. touches, he advanced to Kitchener, saluted sued an order to kill as many officers as pos- and said, with a smile, "Well, sir, we've just sible, “but, for God's sake, spare the gen- managed to do it in time." The only answer erals."-POULTNEY BIGELOW, Anglo-Saxon he received, the dreadful eyes fixed upon him, | Review, March, 1900. Kruger, Paul Lafayette 328 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES I sent a kaffir from my farm at Water fixing his eye on a white stone about twenty kloof to my mother's farm (I had lost my yards in front, he suddenly slashed and the father in 1852) to fetch some raisins. My thumb came off in his mouth.-GORDON LE mother sent me about five or six pounds and SUEUR, “Cecil Rhodes." said so in a note, which the kaffir conscien His friends told me that while engaged tiously delivered. But the latter was proof in building the first church at Rustenburg that the kaffir had robbed me, for the raisins young Kruger was so delighted at having he brought weighed much less than the quan- laid the ridge-pole beam that he, at once tity mentioned in the letter. I asked him climbed to its highest point and there stood what he meant by trying to cheat me and on his head, to the alarm and scandal of the why he had eaten nearly all the raisins. whole community. But, as his old friend ex- "The letter tells me,” I said, “that there were plained, Kruger was not a wicked youth; it a great many more than you brought me." was, to be sure, an impious thing to do over “Baas," he replied, "the letter lies, for how a church, but it was done in sheer exuber- could it have seen me eat the raisins? Why, ance of spirit.-BIGELOW. I put it behind a big rock under a stone and then sat on the other side of the rock and In the early days of the gold fields the ate the raisins.”—PAUL KRUGER, "Memoirs." Transvaal government generously granted four stands, or plots of ground, to the vari- Kruger was shooting one day when his ous religious communities for the erection of gun exploded and blew away a part of his places of Worship, with one single exception, thumb. The surgeon to whom Kruger finally the Jewish community, which received only submitted the case found that the flesh had two stands. This caused a great deal of dis- begun to mortify and advised amputating satisfaction among the Israelites, who, as is the arm half way up. But Kruger said that their wont, immediately sent over a deputa- he could not afford to lose his arm, for then tion to interview the president, to inquire he would be no longer able to handle his rifle. why they had been treated so shabbily com. Then the doctor said that Kruger should at pared with the other denominations. The least allow him to cut off his left hand. But president, smoking as usual, listened stolidly even this was too much for Kruger. The sur to their complaint; then, after a long pause, geon thereupon told Kruger that he would gave his reason, saying, “You people believe have nothing whatever to do with the case and in only half the Bible, the others believe in left. Kruger then got his jack-knife and the whole of it; when you do the same I will sharpened it carefully, so that it became as give you the other two stands."-JOHN Sco- sharp as a razor. He then laid his thumb | BLE and H. R. ABERCROMBIE, “The Rise and upon a stone and himself cut off its extreme Fall of Krugerism." joint. But to his great chagrin the flesh He consented to open a Jewish taber- would not heal at that point, as putrefaction nacle. “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, had already gone too far. Again he laid his I declare this building open,” he said in a hand upon the stone and this time carefully loud voice, so that all could hear.-FRED. A. cut away all the flesh above and about the MCKENZIE, “Paul Kruger.” second joint of the thumb, and this time the He was in 1891 asked to be a patron of flesh healed and his hand was spared. He the queen's birthday ball. He declined in now uses his left index finger as a thumb horror, alleging that a ball was a kind of and seizes small objects between the first two Baal worship, akin to those practises for fingers of that hand.-POULTNEY BIGELOW, which the Lord had, through His servant “White Man's Africa." Moses, ordained the punishment of death. Kruger used to tell the story of his gun “As it is therefore contrary to his honor's having burst and shattered his thumb, and principles, his honor cannot consent to the said that he sharpened his knife on his veld misuse of his name in such a connection," his schoen, then took the end of his thumb in secretary wrote.-HOLMES PRESCOTT, “Paul his mouth, placed the knife in position and, | Kruger.” 329 Kruger, Paul OF THE GREAT Lafayette LAFAYETTE, Marie Jean Paul Joseph of John Quincy Adams,” copied from “Life of Yves Gilbert de Motier, Marquis de, 1757- Lafayette," by An Officer in the Late Army. 1834. French general. A member of Congress, conversing with When he was arrested by the Austrians in the general on the proceedings of Congress, 1792, an aide-de-camp of Prince de — the and delicately apologizing for the opposition enemy's general, came to him to demand the which the appropriation in his favor had ex- funds of the army he had been obliged to perienced in that body, the general, with quit. Lafayette, astonished at the demand, great naïveté and never-failing presence of laughed heartily; and, when the aide-de-camp mind, interrupted him with this happy re- advised him to take the matter more seri. mark: “I, sir, am one of the opposition. ously—“How can I help laughing?" said he, This gift is so munificent, so far exceeding the "for all that I understand of your demand is, services of the individual, that had I been a that had your prince been in my place he member of Congress I must have voted would have robbed the cash box of the army.” against it.”-“Memoirs of General Lafayette" When after his attempt to escape he had (1825). been retaken and brought back to Olmutz, he In his children he cherished the mem- was at first confined in a spacious apartment. ory of their mother (Mademoiselle de Noail- Soon afterwards an officer requested him to les) whom he had loved most tenderly and pass into an adjoining room. “For what pur whose name he ever mentioned with but pose?” asked Lafayette. “That your irons visible emotion. One day, during his last ill- may be put on,” replied the officer. “Your ness, I surprised him kissing her portrait, emperor has not given you such an order," which he always wore suspended to his neck said the illustrious prisoner in a tone of firm in a small gold medallion. Around the por- ness and assurance; "beware of doing more trait were the words, "I am yours," and on than he requires and of displeasing him by the back was engraved this short but touch- exceeding his orders through an ill-timed ing inscription, "I was then a gentle com- zeal.” Struck by this observation the offi- panion to you! In that case, bless me." I cer reflected and insisted no further. ... have since been informed that regularly every One day the officer on guard, who was present morning Lafayette ordered Bartien to leave during his meals, and who saw him obliged the room, in which he shut himself up and, to eat with his fingers, asked him if that taking the portrait in both hands, looked at mode was not new to him. "No," replied it earnestly, pressed it to his lips and re-, Lafayette coolly, “I have seen it employed in mained silently contemplating it for about America among the Iroquois."-JULES CLO a quarter of an hour. Nothing was more QUET, “Recollections of the Private Life of disagreeable to him than to be disturbed dur- Lafayette.” ing this daily homage to the memory of his His reception in New York was sublime virtuous partner.-CLOQUET. and brilliant in the extreme. The meeting To the last days of his life Lafayette between Lafayette, Col. Willet, Gen. Van preserved his so-called French gallantry, or Cortlandt, Gen. Clarkson and other revolu- | devotion to the fair sex. He was inflammable tionary worthies was highly affecting. He as tinder and was easily brought into the knew them all. After the ceremony of em state of an amoroso by any handsome and bracing and congratulations were over, Lafay. distinguished face, without regard to social ette sat down by the side of Col. Willet. “Do gradations or shadowings. He did the honors you remember,” said the colonel, "at the bat of Paris to Julia Grisi, who, then a girl of tle of Monmouth, I was a volunteer aid to eighteen, had broken off her engagement at General Scott? I saw you in the heat of bat the theater at Milan and, secretly escaping tle; you were but a boy, but you were a the Austrian police, had reached Paris to serious and sedate lad.” “Aye, ave," re- join her lover, Count Mariani, a Milanese turned Lafayette, “I remember well. And patriot and refugee. The general liked to on the Mohawk I sent you fifty Indians and talk about his successes when young and was you wrote me that they set up such a yell not unwilling to be a little teased on that that they frightened the British horse and account. I once asked him about his famous they ran one way and the Indians another.” interview with Marie Antoinette and how Thus these veteran soldiers fought their bat. | much gallantry and loyal devotion there was tles o'er again.-WILLIAM H. SEWARD, “Life | in the reported kissing of her hand. He Lamar, L. Q. C. Lee, Henry 330 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES smiled self-complacently and, tapping me my mouth. Anger, pain or fear would on the nose, replied, “Why are you so blanch my lips instantly and I knew they curious ?" -- Putnam's Magazine, October, quivered under great emotion, so it simply 1855. came to this: If I could somehow get a little LAMAR, Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus, 1825- apron or curtain over my mouth I might go a-soldiering with the best of our people; 1893. American statesman. and, like a thief in the night, I then and He was begging alternately at the doors of there stole into the sleeping room of one who St. Cloud and St. James's for aid for his put faith in bear's grease. For days and Southern cause. He said he was anxious to days the razor and the bear's grease of my win the friendship of the London press. He unsuspecting friend filled my secret hourg prepared one day a careful article gently with scraping and anointing—with wild hopes leading up to the point of interesting the and desperate fears. Then at last the shadow English government in the struggle for South- darkened on my lip. One glorious day my ern independence. He called upon Mr. Delane, blessed little wife frowned at my kiss because of the London Times, and submitted it. my chin was rough and had scratched her After a careful reading the editor accepted it cheek. The recruiting proceeded, the regi. and said he would use it as a leader in the ment was formed and I became lieutenant- Times. "I waited for days,” said Mr. La colonel-and-and- "-CLARA MORRIS, The mar, "for the appearance of that article, Cosmopolitan, March, 1904. which I fondly hoped would open the way for others more direct and forcible. Time rolled The salary of a cabinet officer was eight on and the article did not appear. I was thousand dollars. Senator Lamar had been anxious, for our cause could not well wait. I transplanted from the Senate to the cabinet had kept a copy of the article. Concluding by President Cleveland. He wanted to rent that Mr. Delane had decided on reflection not a residence. Mrs. Dahlgren, widow of the a residence.. Mrs. to use the article, I carried it to the editor of late Admiral Dahlgren, had just completed the Telegraph. Two days after he printed it ! an elegant house in the same neighborhood, as a leading editorial and, by a most singular | by the way, where the justice had now bought coincidence, it came out as an original ar- a lot-which she wanted to let. Secretary ticle in the Times on the same morning, Lamar called upon her, was ushered into word for word. I could not explain. I never the parlor and made known his business. saw either editor afterwards and I have The lady replied that the house was to rent, never been able to estimate what the Con- the rental being $7,500 per annum. The sec- federacy lost by that faux pas. I know that retary sat perfectly quiet, his eyes bent upon it stopped my writing for the London press. the carpet, apparently absorbed in profound -EDWARD MAYES, “Life of Lucius Q. C. La- thought. This was kept up so long that mar," quoting John A. Cockerill. Mrs. Dahlgren finally inquired if he were ill. "No, Madam," replied the secretary. "I was "Don't you know that your Southern chin only wondering what I could do with the rest whisker is very unbecoming to you? Why of my salary.”--MAYES. don't you wear your mustache alone-that whisker adds to the seeming length of your One day a gentleman, who was not a call- face." "I know it-an artist friend told me er for office, was shown into Mr. Lamar's in- that long ago—but it is too late to change ner apartment. In the outer room were several now-and, say, shall I tell you how I came to prominent Democrats, including a high judi- wear that confounded thing at all? ... cial officer, several senators and a number of How was I to know that my nerves would members of the House. Mr. Lamar waved not betray me when I was under fire the first his visitor to a chair without saying a word. time? I said to myself, day and night, ‘Sup He was evidently too much exhausted to pose, Lushe, you should be frightened ?' speak. By and by the visitor said he would ... It was midnight and I said aloud, 'If go away and return at some other time as he only I could hide that possible nervous trem feared he was keeping the people outside. or.' The word 'hide' caught my attention. "Pray, sit still,” requested Mr. Lamar; "you Suddenly I slipped out to the gallery and, rest me. I can look at you and you do not looking up to the stars, an idea came to me. ask me for anything and you keep these peo- I knew my face was not an expressive one. ple out as long as you stay in. I can have My eyes I could control to steadiness at any them at any time I choose to send for time. My voice was absolutely obedient to them. I can't get you. Please do not go my will. Just one feature I could not con- | away."—New York Times, January 25, trol when under excitement of any kind- | 1893. 331 Henry OF THE GREAT LeeLamarQ. c. , L. , LANNES, Jean, Duke of Montebello, 1769 saw him than he ran into a public house and 1809. French marshal. bolted the door in his face. Lee immediate- Marshal Lannes, so brave and brilliant in ly began to swear at him, telling him to war and so well able to appreciate courage, come out and fight like a man. The humor- one day sharply rebuked a colonel for having ous judge replied that he never had a fancy punished a young officer just arrived from to be shot at, and had rather not, if it was school at Fontainebleau because he gave evi- just as agreeable. By this time a crowd had dence of fear in his first engagement. “Know, gathered around and, hearing Breckinridge's Colonel,” said he, "none but a poltroon (the droll replies to Lee's threats, burst into up- term was even more strong] will boast that roarious laughter. This maddened the latter he never was afraid.”-FAUVELET DE BOURRI- still more and he cursed Breckinridge dread- ENNE, "Memoirs.” fully and dared him to come out and he would horsewhip him. The imperturbable judge re- French influence began to increase at plied, with the utmost simplicity, that he Lisbon, Lannes was courted by the minister had no occasion for such discipline-he never and the prince regent himself stood god liked it when a child, and did not now. father to his son. The story goes that after Shouts of laughter followed and Lee, at length the ceremony the prince regent took the am finding that he was making himself ridiculous, bassador into the salon of the palace where retired, when the judge quietly walked forth. the diamonds of Brazil were stored and then -J. T. HEADLEY, “Washington and His Gen- gave him a handful, saying, “That is for my erals." grandson," and a second handful for the LEE, Henry, 1756-1818. American general. mother and a third for him. Whatever the truth of the story the fact remains that The Lees frequented Fredericksburg and Lannes returned to France a rich man, able Light Horse Harry was once in prison there not only to repay his loan to Augereau but for debt. It is related that from the jail of to indulge in fresh extravagance.-R. P. that town he wrote to his old friend Robert DUNN-PATTISON, "Napoleon's Marshals." Morris about his sad case and asked him to accommodate him with a loan. The great LEE, Charles, 1731-1782. American general. financier replied that he was "very sorry he Washington was directed by Congress to could not oblige him, because he, too, was administer the oath of allegiance to the com in the same condition.”—GENERAL DABNEY manding officers of the army; and, having | HERNDON MAURY, “Recollections of a Virgin- called the major-generals in a circle around ian." him, extended the Bible, on which they all In 1779 General Lee was elected to Con- placed their hands. But just as he was about gress and on the death of General Washing- to repeat the oath, Lee deliberately withdrew ton was appointed to deliver an address in his hand. Every eye immediately rested upon commemoration of the services of that great him; when he again placed it on the Bible man, in which occurs the famous sentence so and a second time drew back. On Washing- often quoted, “First in war, first in peace, ton inquiring the cause of this strange pro first in the hearts of his fellow citizens.” In cedure, he replied, “As to King George I am this popular quotation the word "country. ready enough to absolve myself from all al men" is always substituted for the original legiance to him, but I have some scruples words used by the author, Henry Lee. about the Prince of Wales.” The oddness of His agony at times was very great, caus- the reply produced a burst of laughter, which ing irritation to overcome his rarely failing for a while suspended the ceremony. Event- amiability. At times he would lose self-con- ually, however, Lee took the oath with the trol and order his servants and every one else rest. from the room. At length, an old woman, Thatcher, in his “Military Journal," who had been Mrs. Greene's favorite maid, tells an amusing incident, illustrating both and who was then an esteemed and privileged his dreadful temper and his profanity. Judge family servant, was selected to wait upon Breckinridge, of Philadelphia, had excited him. The first thing General Lee did when Lee by some galling paragraph he had pub she entered his room was to hurl his boot lished about his conduct, and the latter chal at her head and order her out. Entirely lenged him. The judge declined the honor unused to such treatment, she deliberately in a very odd and laughable manner; and so picked up the boot and threw it back. The Lee provided himself with a horsewhip and, effect produced was marked and instantane- seeing his enemy going down Market street | ous. The features of the stern warrior re- one day, gave chase. The latter no sooner | laxed, in the midst of his pain and anger a Loe, Robert E. 332 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES smile passed over his countenance and from Lee genealogy. I have no desire to have it that moment on to the day of his death he published and do not think it would afford would permit no one except "Mom Sarah" sufficient interest beyond the immediate fam- to do him special service.-FITZHUGH LEE, ily to compensate for the expense. I think “Life of General (Robert Edward] Lee.” the money had better be employed in reliev- LEE, Robert Edward, 1807-1870. American ing the poor."-FITZHUGH LEE, “Life of Gen- general. eral Lee.” My father was out riding one afternoon In the spring of 1861, while on an in- with me, and, while rounding a turn in the spection to Norfolk, a friend there insisted mountain road with a deep wood ravine on that he should take two bottles of very fine one side, we came suddenly upon three cadets old London Dock brandy, remarking that he far beyond the limits. They immediately would be certain to need it, and would find leaped over a low wall on the side of the it very difficult to obtain so good an article. road and disappeared from our view. We General Lee declined the offer, saying he was rode on for a minute in silence; then my sure he would not need it. “As a proof that father said, “Did you know those young men ? I will not,” he said, “I may tell you that, But no; if you did, don't say so. I wish just as I was starting for the Mexican war, boys would do what is right; it would be so a lady in Virginia prevailed upon me to take much easier for all parties.” He knew he a bottle of fine old whiskey, which she thought would have to report them, but not being I could not get on without. I carried that sure who they were, I presume he wished to bottle all through the war without having give them the benefit of the doubt.—CAPTAIN the slightest occasion to use it, and on my ROBERT E. LEE, "Recollections and Letters of return home I sent it back to my good friend General Robert E. Lee." that she might be convinced I could get along without liquor.”—Rev. J. WILLIAM JONES, He happened to go into a store in Alex. “Personal Reminiscences of Robert E. Lee." andria, across the Potomac from Washington, to pay a bill. His heart was burdened with His ordinary dinner consisted of a head a great sorrow and he uttered these words of cabbage, boiled in salt water, and a pone which the merchant wrote down in his jour- of corn bread. The story is jocosely told nal—they stand there still to-day: “I must that on one occasion a number of gentle- say I am one of those dull creatures that men having appointed to dine with him, he cannot see the good of secession.” Below had ordered his servant to provide a repast this entry the merchant wrote: "Spoken by of cabbage and middling. A very small bit Colonel R. E. Lee when he paid his bill, of middling garnished the dish; so small that April 19, 1861.” A few days later Lee was the polite guests all declined middling and made commander-in-chief of the forces of the it remained on the dish when the guests rose state of Virginia. The late Judge John from the table. Next day the general, remem- Critcher represented Westmoreland, Lee's bering the untouched meat, ordered his ser- native county, in the secession convention, vant to bring "that middling.” The man hesi- and was one of the committee sent to notify tated, scratched his head and finally said, him of his appointment. The judge told me “De fac is, Massa Robert, dat ar middlin' that when Lee returned with the committee was borrid middlin', and I done give it back to the convention hall, in the capitol in Rich to de man whar I got it from."-E. A. POL- mond, they had to wait for a few minutes in LARD, “Life, Campaigns and Public Services the rotunda. Looking at Houdon's statue of of Robert E. Lee.” (Mrs. Roger A. Pryor, in Washington, Lee said very gravely: "I hope “My Day," credits this anecdote to the Mo- we have seen the last of secession.” He evi- | bile Advertiser.) dently feared that the seceding states would General R. E. Lee called at my office for soon separate from one another.-COLONEL a ride to the defenses of Richmond, then un- JOHN S. MOSBY, Vunsey's Magazine, April, der construction. He was mounted on a stal- 1911. lion, which some kind friend had sent him. General Robert Edward Lee could look | As I mounted my horse, his was restive and back on long lines of paternal and maternal kicked at mine. We rode on quietly together, ancestors, but it is doubtful if he ever exer though Lee was watchful to keep his horse cised the privilege; in a letter to his wife, in order. Passing by an encampment, we written in front of Petersburg, February, saw near a tent two stallions tied at a safe 1865, he says: “I have received your note. distance from one another. “There," said he, I am very much obliged to Mr. M for "is a man worse off than I am.” When asked the trouble he has taken in relation to the / to explain, he said, "Don't you see he has two 333 Leo, Robert E. OF THE GREAT stallions? I have but one.”—JEFFERSON DA- | last.-MRS. GENERAL PICKETT, Lippincott's VIS, The North American Review, January, Magazine, January, 1907. 1890. General Wilson now came up to him and, Military Leader in very depressed tones of annoyance and One of his officers, speaking of the enemy, vexation, explained the state of his brigade. once remarked, “I wish those people were all But General Lee immediately shook hands dead.” “How can you say that ?" Lee re- with him and said in a cheerful manner, monstrated; "now, I wish they were all at "Never mind, general. All this has been my home attending to their own business, leav- fault. It is I that have lost this fight and ing us to attend to ours.”—MRS. GENERAL you must help me out of it the best way you PICKETT, Lippincott's Magazine, January, can.”—LIEUTENANT-COLONEL A. L. FREMAN- 1907. TLE, Blackwood's Magazine, September, 1863. He disliked very much to have officers General Lee was noted for his impartial. with a grievance allowed to make their way ity. Only worthy deeds won recognition to him. At times this would happen, how from him. He was urged by some of his ever. Immediately after one such occurrence officers to give his own son command of a General Lee came to the adjutant's tent with brigade, but he replied that he would not ap- a flushed face and said warmly, “Why did point an untried officer to so important a po- you permit that man to come to my tent and sition. He paid no more attention to per- make me show my temper?”—GAMALIEL sonal antagonisms than to personal affection BRADFORD, JR., The Atlantic Monthly, Octo- in the management of the army. He recom- ber, 1911. mended a certain officer for promotion, de- spite the fact that friends urged him to with- “It is well war is so terrible,” said Lee at draw his favor because the officer was in Fredericksburg; "we should grow too fond the habit of speaking disparagingly of Lee. of it.”-FITZHUGH LEE. “The question is not what he thinks of me, Jefferson Davis always claimed that he but what I think of him," he said. “I have himself was intended for a soldier, not a a very high opinion of this officer as a soldier president; and he was fond of being under and I shall certainly recommend him for fire if he could not get behind the guns. One promotion and do all in my power to secure day he came out in a field during a battle. it.”—Mrs. GENERAL PICKETT, Lippincott's Lee turned to him and asked, “Mr. President, | Magazine, January, 1907. am I in command here?” “Certainly,” said Mr. Davis. “Then, sir," Lee replied, "I forbid While he was on duty in South Caro- you to stand here under the enemy's guns. I lina and Georgia, Lee's youngest son, Robert, order you off the field.” The president went. then a mere boy, left school and came down to Richmond, announcing his purpose to go On the last day of Gettysburg, Long into the army. His older brother, Custis, street, with his fixed policy of maintaining was a member of my staff and, after a con- the defensive, pointed out that there was ference, we agreed that it was useless to send still time to maneuver Meade into making an the boy back to school, and that he probably attack, but, shaking his clenched fist towards would not wait in Richmond for the return Cemetery Heights, Lee said, “The enemy is | of his father; so we selected a battery which there and I intend to strike him.” The blow had been organized in Richmond and sent he struck was Pickett's charge. But his reso Robert to join it. General Lee told me that lution to attack was equaled by his mag- at the battle of Sharpsburg this battery suf- nanimity in defeat. When he met General fered so much that it had to be withdrawn Pickett leading his shattered and bleeding for repairs and some fresh horses; but, as battalions back from Cemetery Heights, and he had no troops even to form a reserve, as he pointed with trembling hand to the few soon as the battery could be made useful it of his division that could still follow him, was ordered forward. He said that as it Lee said, “It is all my fault. You have done passed him a boy mounted as the driver of nobly. You and your men have covered your one of the guns, much stained with powder, selves with glory.” Then, turning to the sol. said, “Are you going to put us in again, diers reeling back from the bloody height, he general ?" After replying to him in the affirin- shouted, "I have lost this battle. You must ative, he was struck by the voice of the boy help me out of it the best you can.” Even and asked him, “Whose son are you?” to in that bitter moment cheer after cheer told which he answered, "I am Robbie," where- him that the men would stand by him to the upon his father said, “God bless you, my son, Lee, Robert E. 334 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES you must go in.”-JEFFERSON DAVIS, The "He was visiting a battery," says a North American Review, January, 1890. member of his staff, who related the anecdote, Another incident, told in a soldier's let- "and the soldiers, inspired by their affection ter, was when Private Robert E. Lee, shabby for him, gathered near him in a group that attracted the enemy's fire. Turning towards and travel-worn, appeared at the command- them he said in his quiet manner, ‘Men, you ing general's headquarters barefoot, carry- had better go farther to the rear; they are ing in his hand the ragged remnant of a pair firing up there and you are exposing your. of shoes. “I only wanted to ask, sir, if I selves to unnecessary danger.' The men drew might draw a new pair, as I can't march in back, but General Lee, as if unconscious of these.” “Have the men of your company the danger to himself, walked forward, picked received permission to draw shoes yet?” asked up some small object from the ground and the general. “No, sir, I believe not yet." placed it on the limb of a tree over his "Then go back to your battery, my boy, and | head. It was afterwards perceived that the wait until they have.”—MRS. BURTON HARRI- object for which he had risked his life was SON, “Recollections, Grave and Gay." an unfledged sparrow which had fallen from “I was badly wounded,” said a private its nest. It was a marked instance of that of the Army of the Potomac. “A ball had | love for the lower animals and deep feeling shattered my left leg. I lay on the ground for the helpless which he always displayed.” not far from Cemetery Ridge and, as Gen -BRUCE. eral Lee ordered his retreat, he and his offi- General Lee's disposition was always cers rode near me. As he came along I recog. grave and serious, but he was not without nized him and, though faint from exposure a vein of humor. At Malvern Hill an officer and loss of blood, I raised up my hands, who had made considerable noise during the looked Lee in the face and shouted as loud as battle without accomplishing any distinct re- I could, 'Hurrah for the Union !' The gen- sults, came to him and, pointing to a eral heard me, looked, stopped his horse, dis- distant height on which was a group of sol. mounted and came toward me. I confess I diers, said, “I think, general, that I can take first thought he meant to kill me. But as that hill now, if I have your permission to he came up he looked down at me with such try.” “I believe that you would succeed a sad expression on his face that all fear now,” replied Lee very gravely. “There is left me and I wondered what he was about. only one thing that restrains me from giving He extended his hand to me and, grasping you permission. I am afraid that I might mine firmly, and looking right into my eyes, hurt my friend, Captain M , who is over said, “My son, I hope you will soon be well.' there with a reconnoitering party. The en- If I live a thousand years I will never for- emy left the hill about an hour ago.”—MRS. get the expression on General Lee's face. GENERAL PICKETT, Lippincott's Magazine, Here he was, defeated, retiring from a field January, 1907. that cost him and his cause almost their last hope, and yet he stopped to say words like One day, at Petersburg, General Lee, who those to a wounded soldier of the opposition, never suffered a day to pass without visiting who had taunted him as he passed by. As some part of his lines, rode by the quarters soon as the general had left me, I cried my of one of his major-generals and requested self to sleep there upon the bloody ground.”— him to ride with him. As they were going he P. A. BRUCE, “Robert E. Lee.” asked the general whether a certain work One of his brigadiers asked him one day, he had ordered to be pushed had been com- pleted. He replied with some hesitation that “Why is it, general, that you do not bear the it was, and General Lee then proposed that full insignia of your rank, but content your- they should go and see it. Arriving at the self with the stars of a colonel ?” “Oh," re- spot it was found that little or no progress plied the modest chieftain, "I do not care for had been made since they were there a week display. And the truth is, the rank of a before, and General - was profuse in his colonel is about as high as I ought to have apologies, saying that he had not seen the gotten; or, perhaps I might manage a good work since they were there together, but that cavalry brigade if I had the right kind of he had ordered it to be completed at once, subordinates.”—JONES. and that Major - had informed him that He used to speak sometimes of the en- | it had already been finished. General Lee emy as “General Meade's people," "General said nothing then except to remark quietly, Grant's people," or, “our friends across the “We must give our personal attention to the river."-JONES. | lines.” But riding on a little further, he be. 335 Lee, Robert E. OF THE GREAT gan to compliment General -- on the “We've got one of the best jokes on General splendid charger he rode. “Yes, sir,” said | Lee you ever heard of,” said the fellow. General - "he is a splendid animal, and I "How's that?” asked the other. “Why, you prize him the more highly because he belongs see, he's just issued an order for our battalion to my wife, and he is her favorite riding flag to be taken away from us, when the horse.” “A magnificent horse," rejoined Gen- | Yankees took it two months ago in the fight eral Lee, “but I should not think him safe | at Hatcher's Run.”—Harper's Magazine, July, for Mrs. — to ride. He is entirely too 1872. spirited for a lady and I would urge you by General Lee said that when he met Gen- all means to take some of the mettle out of eral Grant, they exchanged polite salutations, him before you suffer Mrs. - to ride him and he stated to him at once that he desired again. And by the way, general, I would a conference in reference to the subject-mat- suggest to you that these rough paths along ter of their correspondence. “General Grant the trenches would be very admirable ground returned you your sword, did he not, gen- over which to tame him.” The face of the eral?” one of the company asked. The old gallant soldier turned crimson; he felt most | hero, straightening himself up, replied, in keenly the rebuke, and never afterwards re- most emphatic tones, "No, sir; he did not. ported the condition of his lines upon infor- He had no opportunity of doing so. I was mation received from Major - or any one determined that the side arms of the officers else. should be exempt by the terms of surrender, While at winter quarters at Petersburg, and of course I did not offer him mine. All a party of officers were one night busily en that was said about swords was that General gaged in discussing at the same time a Grant apologized to me for not wearing his mathematical problem and the contents of a own sword, saying that it had gone off in his stone jug which was garnished with two tin baggage, and he had been unable to get it in cups. In the midst of this General Lee came time."--JONES. in to make some inquiries. He got the infor- mation he wanted, gave a solution of the After the War problem and went out, the officers expressing Soon after he went to Lexington he was to each other the hope that the general had visited by an agent of a certain insurance not noticed the jug and cups. The next day company, who offered him their presidency one of the officers, in the presence of the at a salary of ten thousand dollars per an- others, was relating to General Lee a very num; he was then receiving only three thou- strange dream he had the night before. The sand from the college. He told the agent general listened with apparent interest to that he could not give up the position he then the narrative and quietly rejoined, "That is held and could not properly attend to the not at all remarkable. When young gentle duties of both. “But, general,” said the men discuss at midnight mathematical prob- agent, "we do not want you to discharge any lems, the unknown quantities of which are a duties. We simply wish the use of your stone jug and two tin cups, they may expect name; that will abundantly compensate us." to have strange dreams."--JONES. “Excuse me, sir," was the prompt and de- Now that the war has ended it would be cided rejoinder, “I cannot consent to re- cruel, perhaps, to specify a certain Virginia ceive pay for services I do not render.” battalion in General Heth's division, A. N. ... Nearly every mail brought him some V., which made its name more notorious than such proposition, and just a short time before respected throughout the army for never mak. his death a large and wealthy corporation ing a stand in action, or doing anything else in the city of New York offered him a salary it was ordered or expected to do. Every ap- of fifty thousand dollars per annum if he pliance of discipline was exhausted by Gen- would consent to become their president. eral Lee to force this unreliable corps up to But he steadfastly refused all such offers and the standard of its duty, but without avail; quietly pursued his chosen path of duty.- the stuff of which soldiers are made was not JONES. in it. One of the men belonging to it was Ilis generous sympathy was not confined once walking along the road to Petersburg to war time. Long afterwards, a friend in the winter of '64, quietly giggling and came up just as Lee was sending a poor fel- laughing low to himself, as if his soul were low from his gate with a happy face. “An in secret feasting on some very choice morsel old soldier in hard circumstances,” he ex- of fun or fortune. Some one who met him plained. When the friend asked to what inquired as to the occasion of his mirth. I command the soldier belonged, Lee replied, Lee, Robert E. Loopold II. 336 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES "Oh, he was on the other side, but we must meeting him again in his prosperity, spoke not hold that against him now.”—MRS. GEN. of his riches, titles and luxury, he answered ERAL PICKETT, Lippincott's Magazine, Janu him, “Well now, you shall have it all, but ary, 1907. at cost price. We will go down into the gar- An excellent student, now a distinguished den; I will fire at you sixty times and then, if you are not killed, everything shall be lawyer in Tennessee, was once beguiled into yours.”—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, "Memoirs," an unexcused absence. The dreaded summons note by Paul de Rémusat. came. With his heart in his boots he en- tered General Lee's office. The general met him smiling. "Mr. M., I am glad to see you LEOPOLD I., 1790-1865. King of Belgium. are better.” “But, general, I have not been I played the piano with indefatigable in- sick.” “Then I am glad to see you had bet- dustry and read aloud Henrietta Hanke's ter news from home.” “But, general, I have grandmotherly "Pearls" while Prince Leo- had no bad news." "Ah," said the general, pold of Coburg, the princely widower of the “I took it for granted that nothing less than heiress to the throne of England, Field Mar- sickness or distressing news from home could shal of Great Britain, and candidate to the have kept you from your duty." . . . To a Greek throne, sat with all the diligence and lazy fellow he once said: "How is your moth- earnestness in the world-drizzling. Of all er? I am sure you must be devoted to her; the many incomprehensible points in my you are so careful of the health of her son.” princely wooer, this one of drizzling was the -DR. EDWARD S. JOYNES, address to the pro- most incomprehensible. And how detestable fessors of the University of South Carolina, to me was this drizzling! I no sooner saw January 19, 1907. the prince alight from his carriage, followed by the groom with the horrible drizzling-box, LEFEBVRE, François Joseph, Duke of Dant than I felt seized with a spasm of yawning. zic, 1755-1820. French marshal. And to this very day, after more than a gen- At the emperor's coronation, having to wait , eration, in writing down the hateful word, for about an hour in the cathedral before the an irresistible, distressing yawn grips hold court arrived, he drew a hunk of bread and of my heart and forces itself mercilessly up a slice of cheese from the pocket of his gold into my mouth. But I am forgetting that laced coat and offered to share these dainties my dear readers, children of another time, with the other marshals. The popular ac- have, for their happiness, no idea of what this count of the incident which reached Napole- dreadful drizzling is. It was an invention on's ears was that the marshal had regaled of Paris, or rather of the Versailles court, in himself with onions. the time of Louis XVI. and his unhappy queen, Marie Antoinette, ten years before the Once Lefebvre fell ill of ague and his people, provoked into inhuman fury, struck servant, an old soldier, caught the malady at off their crowns and then their heads. The the same time. The servant was quickly forward ladies of the court had no scruples cured, but the fever clung to the marshal un- about asking the gentlemen of their acquaint- til it occurred to his energetic duchess that ance for cast-off gold and silver epaulettes, the doctor had blundered comme un ane by | hilt bands, galloons and tassels, with which, giving to the marshal the same dose as to a according to the fashion of that time, all private soldier. She rapidly counted on her clothes were then copiously trimmed. These fingers the different rungs of the military ornamental appendages the ladies would then ladder. “Tiens, bois! en voila pour ton take with them into company, and there pick grade,” she said, putting a full tumbler to out the gold and silver threads to sell them her husband's lips and the duke, having swal afterwards. If an admirer of those days lowed a dozen doses at one gulp, was soon on wanted to ingratiate himself particularly into his legs again. "Tas beaucoup à apprendre, the favor of his sweetheart he presented her, mon garçon," was the lady's subsequent re- not as in these days, flowers, perfumes, mark to the astonished doctor.-Temple Bar, jewelry, etc.-no, but, according to the mag- August, 1883. nitude of his love and his purse, some dozens Certain sayings of the Marshal Duke of of gold tassels or such like, and the lady Dantzic have a soldier-like ring. He was la would in the next company she visited menting to my grandfather the misconduct proudly pick out the valuable threads en- of a son. “You see,” he said, “I am afraid twined in the sweet presents of her noble he may not die well.” Once, when he was adorer. From the word parfiler (to pick out vexed by the tone of envy and unkindness | threads), these thread-picking ladies came to with which a companion of his childhood, on be called perfileuses and the business itself 337 . OF THE GREAT Leopold Lee, E. Robert IIPeople.” parfilage. These parfileuses took with them pold solemnly presented to his young niece, into parties, and even to court, gigantic pick the Princess Victoria of Kent, on her elev. ing bags to receive the presents of their cav enth anniversary in Kensington. Doubtless aliers, and that beauty was proudest who Queen Victoria of England still piously pre- could drag home with her the best filled bag. serves the drizzled-out soup tureen as a love A successful parfileuse might in this way gift from her revered uncle, little dreaming, clear over a hundred louis d'or a year. All I dare say, of how many painful hours this the customary New Year's presents in Paris silver vessel cost me.-CAROLINE BAUER, from gentlemen to ladies were made in par. “Diary.” filage, and a cavalier no longer betted with A true Coburg, King Leopold was shrewd his fair one so many louis d'or, but so many in money matters, but he was more close- gold tassels for picking. Thus the Countess fisted than most of his race. What he gave Genlis won from the Duke de Coigny twenty- to Belgium was, mainly, his advice. His four golden tassels, each of the value of money he kept for himself. A story fre- twelve francs, because she had betted she quently repeated in the Belgian press is that would mount the steps of an aqueduct, and of the saying of the president of the Grand she won her bet. She then in the evening Harmonie, the musical club of the Brussels distributed these tassels among all the ladies shopkeepers, to which he presented a flag. in the drawing room, without reserving a "I am afraid you will find it heavy,” said single gold thread for herself, because she the king to the president. “Your majesty's hated the unbecoming habit of parfilage. In gifts are always light," replied the good cit. her anti-philosophical novel, “Adele et Theo- izen, thinking he had hit upon a courtly re- dore, ou Lettres sur l'Education," which ap- ply. Into this reply the people read another peared in Paris in 1782, she attacked this meaning and the jest upon it is laughed at shameless custom. Thus, drawing from a even to the present day.-John C. McDon- scene in real life, where the duc de Chartres NELL, “Belgium, Her Kings, Kingdom and in Rainci was the victim, she makes her hero, the Knight of Herbain, relate: “One day we were assembled in the reception room, be LEOPOLD II., 1835-1909. King of Belgium. fore setting out for a walk, when all at once Gossip will have it that when the Duke of Madame de R. observed that the golden Brabant undertook his long journey to the fringes of my dress would do uncommonly East he not only made himself acquainted well for picking. So saying, by way of merry with the customs of the peoples, but his curi. frolic, she whisks off one of my fringes. In osity also prompted him to pry into the Mo- stantly I am begirt by ten ladies who, with hammedan sanctum—the Oriental harem. a charming grace and diligence, proceed to The Duke of Brabant seems to have had many strip me, tearing away my dress and pack interesting and, though perilous, not unpleas- ing all my fringes and galloons into their ant adventures. One of these adventures oc- work bags.” This open declaration of war | curred at Smyrna and is not without a comic against parfilage on the part of Madame de side. The governor of Smyrna was a former Genlis set all zealous parfileuses in hostility Prussian officer who had embraced Islam and against the authoress. Nevertheless, the par- risen to high honor in the service of the Sul- filage succumbed. ... If parfilage was thus tan. Leopold expressed a wish to visit a ostracized from the court of France as early Turkish harem. The governor obligingly as 1782, it was smuggled into England ten sent his defterdar, or financial secretary, who years later by the fashionable, hungry lady placed himself at the service of his royal high- emigrants who fled from the bloody revolu- ness. The defterdar then took the duke to tion. It came to be called “to drizzle," and a Greek restaurateur, who promised for an that this habit of picking gold and silver unsubstantial remuneration to procure for threads continued in England throughout a Leopold the entry into some harem in the generation later I was to learn to my horror absence of the master. The defterdar then by the drizzling of my admirer, Prince Leo left the duke to pursue his adventures in pold. ... My august wooer did not seem to company with the old restaurateur. The have the slightest inkling of our torments. Greek rogue took the prince to the harem of He drizzled on indefatigably and at leaving the very same defterdar. The servants and was always proud to show me how much he the negro eunuchs were made drunk and the had drizzled; and, in fact, during the year duke was able to penetrate into the sacred in which we were in England, his highness apartments of the defterdar's wives. An drizzled out a stately silver soup tureen, hour later the financial secretary came to which on the 24th of May, 1830, Prince Leo- visit his harem and only with great difficulty H Leopold II. Lincoln 338 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES did the prince escape without being caught ing to mass and on no account would he take by the infuriated and jealous husband. The another in the interval. If his valets next morning the defterdar called upon the changed his towels more than once a week, Duke of Brabant to inquire how he had suc they were sure to receive a good scolding ceeded in his efforts. Leopold told him his from his majesty. adventure and from his description the old The following anecdote has often been told Turk knew what trick the wily Greek had in regard to his culinary tastes: it hap- played on him. He told the truth to the pened in a fashionable restaurant in Paris. amazed and amused prince, but refused to A gentleman had ordered a dish of vege- take any further steps in the matter, for tables, but not considering it up to the mark fear of making himself ridiculous. "The re. had sent it back. The waiter placed the dish muneration, however, which your royal high on a sideboard with the intention of sending ness promised to the Greek by right belongs | it down to the kitchen later on. In the mean- to me,” added the financial secretary. This time another visitor, who was none other than business trait appealed to the future sover- the king of the Belgians, ordered a similar eign of the Congo. "You are a financial vegetable, and the audacious waiter, without genius," he said, “and when I am in Con any hesitation, presented to his majesty the stantinople I shall recommend you for the discarded dish. The king was quite aware post of Minister of Finance.” The defterdar of its defects, but ate what was put before looked frightened. “What harm have I done him without making any observations. He unto your royal highness that you should was a king and he felt that his approval or wish to ruin me?” he asked. “Ruin you? disapproval would be made a great fuss of. But I wish to serve you," said Leopold. He had to pay the penalty of his greatness. "Oh, no," replied the defterdar, “the Sultan He disliked music, hunting, tobacco and knows that all his ministers are robbing him I had no taste for physical exercise, except and after a while he usually sends them to walking. ... Another of Leopold's hobbies prison or to death and confiscates their goods. was his dislike for gloves, and, although he I prefer to remain here in Smyrna and to often wore uniforms, he is reported never to work in peace.” have put on gloves. It may have been a The king used to drive his car on the hatred of restraint, but more probably it was Belgian roads at express speed. It is related a pardonable vanity on the part of the late that one day-the king's chauffeur was driv- | king, for he possessed the shapely and beau. ing—the car turned round a curve, when tiful hands of the Orléans family. king and chauffeur suddenly saw in front of Leopold's alleged relationship with the them a woman wheeling a perambulator with famous dancer Cleo de Merode has been the a baby in it and leading another child by the subject of much talk; in fact, “Cleopold” was hand. The woman was so frightened that the common sobriquet by which the king was she lost her head and stood still. There was known in Paris and caricatured in the press. no room to turn, no time to stop, ditches On the other hand, it has been asserted by bordering the road on both sides. "Run into those who should be in a position to know the ditch," commanded the king; the chauf- that, while public gossip was discussing Leo- feur obeyed and into the ditch the car with pold's love affairs, for ten years he had never the Belgian king flew. The car turned over set eyes on the charming object of this and its occupants were flung on the bank chronique scandaleuse. One evening, at the near, but luckily escaped with a few bruises; opera in Paris, the king of the Belgians is the woman and the babies were saved. reported to have said to a famous singer, His straw hat in which he used to stroll “Will you please introduce me to the charm- about--the straw hat which had done duty ing dancer of whom I hear so much?” The for years—will, as a writer in Matin sug tenor looked surprised. “Your majesty!" gested, perhaps in the future become legend “Certainly," replied the king; "I have never ary. One day the Baroness de Vaughan seen her.” Cleo de Merode was introduced bought his majesty a new hat, which she sub to his Belgian majesty and the king very stituted for the old one. The millionaire simply remarked, “Madam, I am delighted to sovereign of the Congo flew into a rage and see you at last and to be able to express to could only be pacified when the lady ex you my deepest regret, if the good fortune plained that it was a bargain she had made, which is falsely attributed to me has in any as she had procured the hat for a quarter of way inconvenienced you. We are far from its real value. A bargain always appealed to those times when the favor of a king did not the late king. His pocket handkerchief was compromise. Besides, I am only a small renewed only on Sunday mornings when go- | king.”-A. S. RAPPAPORT, "Leopold II.” 339 Loopono OF THE GREAT Lincoln Loopold II. LINCOLN, ABRAHAM, 1809-1865 American Statesman SOURCES net." ABBOTT, A., "Life of Abraham Lincoln." I Lippincott's Magazine. ABBOTT, JOHN S. C., "History of the Civil | LOCKE, DAVID R., "Reminiscences of Lin. War." coln." BANCROFT, T. B., McClure's Magazine. MACDONNELL, John, The Contemporary Re- BRANDAGEE, CONGRESSMAN AUGUSTUS, The | view. New York Tribune. Magazine of American History. BUTTON, CHARLES P., Lippincott's Maga MCCLURE, ALEXANDER K., “Lincoln's Yarns zine. and Stories." CARR, CLARK E., “Stephen A. Douglas." MONTGOMERY, H. E., American Law Re- CARPENTER, FRANK B., “Six Months in the view. White House”; Lippincott's Magazine; “Ray Munsey's Magazine. mond's Lincoln.” NADAL, E. S., Scribner's Magazine, CHAMBBUN, MARQUIS DE, Scribner's Maga North American Review. zine. ORR, LYNDON, Munsey's Magazine. CONWAY, MONCURE D., The Fortnightly PENDEL, THOMAS P., “Thirty-six Years in Review. the White House.” CULLOM, SHELBY M., "Fifty Years of Pub PIATT, DONN, The North American Review. lic Service.” PICKETT, MRS. GENERAL, Lippincott's CURTIS, W. E., “The True Abraham Lin Magazine. coln”; Lippincott's Magazine. POORE, BEN: PERLEY, “Allen Thorndike Dana, CHARLES A., "Lincola and His Cabi Rice's Reminiscences"; "Life and Public Serv- ices of John Sherman"; "Life of Burnside." DAWES, H. L., The Atlantic Monthly. PRITCHETT, HENRY S., Scribner's Magazine. DEPEW, CHAUNCEY M., “Allen Thorndike RAYMOND, H. J., "Life of Lincoln." Rice's Reminiscences.' RICE, ALLEN THORNDIKE, "Reminiscences," FLOYD, GEORGE P., McClure's Magazine. Copyright, Harper & Brothers. FRY, JAMES B., "Allen Thorndike Rice's SCHURZ, CARL, "Reminiscences." Reminiscences.” SCOVEL, JAMES M., Lippincott's Magazine; GORDON, JULIAN, The Cosmopolitan. The National Magazine. GRANT, FREDERICK D., McClure's Magazine. Scribner's Magazine. GBANT, U. S., “Personal Memoirs." SOMERS, W. H., The Green Bag. Green Bag, The. SPEED, JOSHUA F., “Lecture." Harper's Magazine. STANTON, S. B., “Random Recollections." HAUPT, GENERAL HERMAN, “Reminiscen STODDARD, W. O., "The True Story of a Great Life.” HERNDON, Row, "Life of Lincoln.” STOVALL, PLEASANT A., “Robert Toombs." HERNDON, W. H., and JESSE W. WEIK, Swan, A. W., McClure's Magazine. “Abraham Lincoln." TARBELL, IDA M., McClure's Magazine. HOLLAND, J. G., “Life of Lincoln.” THAYER, WILLIAM Roscoe, “Life of John JULIAN, GEORGE W., "Allen Thorndike | Hay.” Rice's Reminiscences.' VIELE, EGBERT L., Scribner's Monthly. LAMON, WARD H., "Life of Abraham Lin WATROUS, A. E., McClure's Magazine. coln." WILLIAMS, HENRY L., “Lincolnics.” LINDENCRONE, LILLIAN DE HEGEMANN, “In WILSON, JAMES HARRISON, "Life of Charles the Courts of Memory.” A. Dana." ces.” BEFORE THE PRESIDENCY to walk five, six and seven miles to his work.-HOLLAND, quoting George Cluse. Beginning His Career In 1854, during the high Know Nothing Money was a commodity never reckoned excitement of that year, Mr. Lincoln was upon. Abraham split rails to get clothing elected to the legislature and, much to the and he made a bargain with Mrs. Nancy Mill surprise of the opponents of the Democracy, er to split four hundred rails for every yard they had a majority of one in the legislature. of brown jeans, dyed with white walnut Here was a chance for Mr. Lincoln to secure bark, that would be necessary to make him a seat in the United States Senate and his a pair of trousers. In those days he used | friends persuaded him to decline qualifying, Lincoln 340 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES as the Illinois constitution barred the elec- my mind that I should find a good deal of tion of a member of the legislature to the whiskey in New Orleans when I arrived there, United States Senate. Mr. Lincoln complied and, having found a man who was sending a and a new election was called, he being con lot of tobacco to market, I made a trade fident that an anti-Democrat would be chosen with him for half of my whiskey, so that if in his place. But the Democrats availed whiskey should be down when I got there, to- themselves of this confidence, brought out no bacco might be up, or vice versa; at any rate, candidate publicly, seeming willing to let the I should not have all my eggs in the same election go by default. But, lo, when the basket. The boat was ready at the proper votes were counted, one McDaniel, a Demo | time and stopped at my landing for me and crat, was discovered to have been voted for my whiskey and tobacco. My short ex- -and, worse yet, he had a majority of the perience as a sailor began from that mo- votes. This was a terrible blow to Mr. Lin- | ment. Our voyage down the river was not coln's friends, who “took on” terribly; but attended by much excitement or any catas- “Old Abe," when he heard the result, te-heed trophe. Floating with the current during one of his peculiar laughs and, of course, the day, we always tied up to a tree on the told a story. He said the result reminded bank of the river at night. One evening, just him of one of the camp-followers of General after we had tied up the flat-boat, two men Taylor's army, who had secured a barrel of came down to the shore and asked me what I cider, erected a tent and commenced dealing would charge them to row them out in the it out to the thirsty soldiers at twenty-five small boat that we had with us into the cents a drink; but he had sold but little be middle of the river to meet a steamboat that fore another sharp one set up another tent at was coming up the river, and on which they his back and tapped the barrel so as to wanted to take passage. I told them I flow at his side and peddled out No. l's thought it would be a shilling apiece, and the cider at five cents a drink, of course getting bargain was made. I pulled out into the the latter's trade entirely on borrowed capi- stream and delivered them safe on board the tal. The Democrats, said Mr. Lincoln, played steamer, and, to my astonishment, received “know nothing” on a cheaper scale than had for my services a dollar. It was the first the real devotees of "Sam," and had “raked money I had had for some time. On my down his pile” with his own cider.--Harper's way back to the flat-boat, I made a calcula- Magazine, March, 1861. tion to myself that I had been gone about an hour, and that if I could earn a dollar “When I was a young man,” said Mr. an hour and live long enough I would be Lincoln, "about eighteen years of age, I was a rich man before I died.” Here Mr. Lin- living in Kentucky, and, like everybody else coln's story ended. The captain, whose in that part of the country at that time, I curiosity had been somewhat excited, in- was obliged to struggle pretty hard for a quired how the whiskey and tobacco sold in living. I had been at work all winter help- New Orleans; but the president, with a ing a man distill a quantity of whiskey and, peculiar twinkle in his eye, replied, “Captain, as there was little or no money in the coun- I was only narrating to you my experience try, I was obliged to take the pay for my winter's services in whiskey.” Turning to as a marine, not as a merchant,” which hint the captain had the good sense to under- Mr. Chase with a quizzical look he added: stand. Lincoln did not refer to the subject “You were not around in those days, Chase, again and I never knew the result of his with your greenback printing machine. rather shrewd commercial venture.-EGBERT Whiskey,” he continued, "was more plenti- ful than almost anything else, and I de- L. VIELE, Scribner's Monthly, October, 1878. termined, if possible, to find a market for my The proper sense of personal dignity share in some other locality, so as to get the forbade him to go to the capitol at Vandalia largest amount possible for my winter's | in the shabby clothing which was good enough work. Hearing that a man living a short for his daily round of life and work in New distance up the Ohio river was building a Salem. . . . Among his older acquaintances flatboat to send to New Orleans as soon as was a man named Smoot, as dry a joker as the water in the river was at the proper himself, but better supplied with ready stage, I paid him a visit and made an money. To him Lincoln went one day, in agreement with him that if he would take company with another friend, Hugh Arm- my whiskey to that city I would go with strong. “Smoot, did you vote for me?” “I him and work my passage. Before the boat did that very thing." "Well, that makes you was completed and ready to start, I made up | responsible. You must lend me money to buy 341 Lincoln OF THE GREAT suitable clothing, for I want to make a Six gentlemen, I being one, Lincoln, Bak- decent appearance in the legislature." "How er, Hardin and others, were riding along the much do you want?” “About two hundred road, two and two together. We were pass- dollars, I reckon.” The honor of Sangamon ing through a thicket of wild plum and county, and of New Salem in particular, was | crab-apple trees. Lincoln and Hardin were at stake and the new representative received | behind. There were two young birds by the his two hundred dollars on the spot.--STOD roadside too young to fly. They had been DARD. blown from the nest by the storm. The old Some time in 1857 a lady reader or elo- bird was fluttering about and wailing as a mother ever does for her babes. Lincoln cutionist came to Springfield and gave a pub- stopped, hitched his horse, caught the birds, lic reading in a hall immediately north of hunted the nest and placed them in it. The the state house. As lady lecturers were then rest of us rode on to a creek and while our rare birds, a very large crowd greeted her. horses were drinking Hardin rode up. Among other things she recited “Nothing to Wear," a piece in which are described the “Where is Lincoln ?” said one. "Oh, when I saw him last he had two little birds in his perplexities that beset Miss Flora McFlim- sey in her efforts to appear fashionable. In hand hunting for their nest." In perhaps the midst of one stanza, in which no effort an hour he came. They laughed at him. He said with much emphasis: “Gentlemen, you was made to say anything particularly amus- may laugh, but I could not have slept well ing, and during the reading of which the audience manifested the most respectful si- to-night if I had not saved those birds. Their cries would have rung in my ears.”- lence and attention, some one in the rear seats burst into a loud, coarse laugh, a sud- SPEED. den and explosive guffaw. It startled the Before Mr. Lincoln's election in 1860, I, speaker and audience and kindled a storm of then a child of eleven years, was presented unsuppressed laughter and applause. Every with his lithograph. Admiring him with my one looked back to ascertain the cause of whole heart, I thought still his appearance the demonstration, and was greatly surprised would be much improved should he cultivate to find it was Mr. Lincoln. He blushed and his whiskers. Childish thoughts must have squirmed with the awkward diffidence of a utterance. So I proposed the idea to him, schoolboy. What prompted him to laugh expressing as well as I was able the esteem no one was able to explain. He was doubt. . in which he was held by honest men. A few less wrapped up in a brown study and, re days after I received this kind and friendly calling some amusing episode, indulged in letter: "Springfield, Ill., October 19, 1860. laughter without realizing his surroundings. Miss Grace Bedell: My Dear Little Miss- The experience mortified him greatly.-HERN Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is re- DON and WEIK. ceived. I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughter. I have three sons-one He was riding alone and came across a seventeen, one nine and one seven. They pig deeply mired in the mud by the roadside. with their mother constitute my whole fam- Feeling compassion for the porker, his first ily. As to the whiskers, I have never worn impulse was to help the struggling animal any; do you not think that people would out of its sad predicament, but, looking at call it a piece of silly affectation were I to the mud and then at his new suit of clothes, begin wearing them now? I am your true he reluctantly rode away, leaving it to its friend and sincere well-wisher, A. Lincoln.” fate. As he rode on, however, he could not It appears I was not forgotten, for after his forget the pig and the farther he got away election to the presidency, while on his jour- from it the worse he felt. He finally turned ney to Washington, the train stopped at around and rode back the nearly two miles, Westfield, Chautauqua county, at which dismounted, built a passageway of old rails place I then resided. Mr. Lincoln said: “I from dry ground to the pig, and with great difficulty extricated it, but not without soil- have a correspondent at this place, a little girl, whose name is Grace Bedell, and I ing his clothes. Afterwards, when thinking would like to see her.” I was conveyed to about it, in an endeavor to analyze, as he said, the motive which prompted him to the him; he stepped from the cars, extending his act, he concluded that it was selfishness and hand and saying, “You see I have let these that he had to do it in order to take the | whiskers grow for your sake, Grace,” kissed pain out of his mind.-W. H. SOMERS me, shook me cordially by the hand and was (Clerk of the Champaign County-Illinois gone. I was frequently afterwards assured Court, 1857), The Green Bay, February, 1908. of his remembrance.-HERNDON and WEIK. Lincoln 342 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES I remember his narrating his first ex- | partition Mr. Lincoln was leaning, his perience in drilling his company. He was thoughts intent upon the paper in his hands, marching with a front of over twenty men when all but he was startled and completely across a field, when he desired to pass mystified by hearing the official cry out, in through a gateway into the next inclosure. a high-pitched tone of voice, “Get down from "I could not for the life of me,” said he, there, you young pest, and stay down! Now "remember the proper word of command for mind me!” For that morning, on the ar. getting my company endwise so that I could rival of the Alton mail, there had been a get through the gate, so as we came near spirited little argument between our post. the gate I shouted, 'This company is dis master and an urchin whose curiosity missed for two minutes, when it will fall prompted him to climb up on the boxes, which in again at the other side of the gate.'” war of words Mr. Lincoln had listened to, -Poore, Allen Thorndike Rice, “Reminis not without amusement, and he now be- cences of Lincoln.” Copyright, Harper & thought him that the fur cap he wore was Brothers. much like the one worn by the boy, and he Toombs met Abraham Lincoln while in also rightly decided that in changing his posi- tion he had moinentarily elevated that mis- Congress. He related that Mr. Lincoln once objected to sitting down at table because he leading signal into the range of the post- was the thirteenth man.-STOVALL. master's alert vision. Not showing the least surprise at the outcry, nor indeed giving evi- One Elmore Johnson, an ignorant, but dence that h: had even heard it, he continued ostentatious, proud man, used to go to Lin- to read his paper soberly, the puzzled crowd coln's post office every day-sometimes three engaged the while in whispered conjectures or four times a day, if in town—and inquire, as to the meaning of the outbreak. Thus "Anything for me?” This bored Lincoln, yet several minutes passed, when out rang our it amused him. He fixed a plan, wrote a let- official's voice again, raised this time to an ter to Johnson, as coming from a negress in unmistakable fighting pitch, "If you get Kentucky, saying a good many things about up there again, I'll come out and brand you opossums, dances, corn-shuckings, etc., wind- sure! I've given you fair warning! Don't ing up with “Johns'n, come and see me again try it again!” The secret by this time was and old master won't kick you out of the out, for some one who had witnessed the kitchen any more.” Elmore took it out and | affair of the morning chanced to notice that opened it, but could not read a word; he Mr. Lincoln had abruptly shortened himself went away and got some friends to read it; several inches by the simple process of re- they read it correctly, but he thought they | laxing his muscles, which act, from the post- were fooling him. Ile went to others with master's standpoint, must have perfectly rep- the same result. At last he said he would | resented a boy "ducking" his head; and get Lincoln to read it. ... It was almost now that all eyes were centered upon the too much for Lincoln, but he read it through. still deeply engrossed reader, and many of The man never asked again, “Anything for the whispers evidently heard by him, his me?"--LAMON. facial muscles were put to a severe test, In those days our Eastern mail reached which they, however, proved equal to, for not us overland by stage, via Terre Haute; but even the twitching of a nerve could be de- the bottoms of the roads had fallen out, as | tected, but he read on as if deaf to all was their way of doing every spring, and our | earthly sounds. The waiting silence was not communications had been severed for about lost upon our wary official; he knew there a week when the glad news flew rapidly was mischief brewing out there; that boy through the town that the blockade had been had backers and was about to try it again raised, that a skeleton team, consisting of and he'd have it out with him once for all. a queensware crate mounted on a pair of But those in the lobby feared the fun was wheels and drawn by four horses, had just | over, for Lincoln made no sign. The tempta- arrived with all the delaved letters. In a ' tion finally, however, became irresistible; few minutes the post office was so thorough-| shifting his weight from one foot to the other, ly thronged with citizens that the postmas his cap was seen to bob up several inches and ter's temperament showed itself in great ner- | as quickly subside. Open flew the door in vousness, he being rather new at the business, the partition and with an angry cry, “Now and, to secure the desired privacy, he low- I've got you,” out sprang our letter man, ered a curtain provided for that purpose on with ruler high uplifted, to catch the young the inside of the six-foot partition which miscreant on the wing, as it were. The sur- separated him from the public. Against this I prise which seized upon him might well be 343 Lincoln OF THE GREAT classed as of the paralyzing order, as his Mr. Lincoln received hearty congr eyes alone seemed capable of motion; they | tions at the close, many Democrats joining made several excursions in a desultory sort the Whigs in their complimentary com- of way up and down the tall form confront ments. The speech was pronounced by the ing him ere they became fascinated with older members of the House almost equal to something upon its apex, when the still up the celebrated defense of General Harrison raised ruler fell noisily to the floor, and by Tom Corwin, in reply to an attack made our but lately thoroughly perplexed friend on him by a Mr. Crary of Ohio. The two remarking only, “By George!” set an ex speeches are equally characterized by vigor- ample which all promptly followed, though ous argument, mirth-provoking irony and his jolly, contagious laugh sounded high above original wit. One Democrat, however (who all others, with but short intervals of had been nicknamed “Sausage" Sawyer, from respite, until the large mail had been dis having moved the expulsion of “Richelieu" tributed; but Mr. Lincoln had been given the Robinson from the reporters' gallery for a chair of honor in his sanctum, not unlikely facetious account of his lunching behind the as a measure of precaution against further Speaker's chair on bologna sausage), did not interruptions.—Harper's Magazine, June, enthuse at all. “Sawyer," asked an Eastern 1890. representative, “how did you like the lanky Illinoisian's speech? Very able, wasn't it?" And this that I am going to tell was re- "Well,” said Sawyer, “the speech was pretty lated to me by Albert B. Chandler, who was good, but I hope he won't charge mileage on and is a cipher operator in the office of Major | his travels while delivering it.”-POORE, Al- Eckert, now Assistant-Secretary of War. The len Thorndike Rice, “Reminiscences of Lin- president was sitting at my table one even- coln,” copyright, Harper & Brothers. ing, as was his custom almost every evening, reading the despatches of the afternoon. President Lincoln's first love was a There was nothing in the despatches of much golden-haired blonde, who had cherry lips, a importance. All was still without, save the clear blue eye, a neat figure and more than peculiar nasal whining cry of the newsboys' ordinary intellectual ability. Her name was song, "Philadelphia In-qui-ry!” The presi Anne Rutledge. She was the daughter of a dent laid down the last slip and his spec tavernkeeper in Salem, Illinois. Vr. Lincoln tacles simultaneously and caught up the met her when he was about twenty-three and newsboys' cry, repeating, “Philadelphia In- | after a romantic courtship became engaged qui-ry,” in their very accents and key. After to her. She died before they could be mar- singing about three verses of the laconic song ried, and Lincoln was so much affected by he said, "Boys, did I ever tell you the joke her death that his biographer, Ward Lamon, the Chicago newsboys came on me? Well, says his friends pronounced him crazy for a soon after I was nominated for president at time. He was watched carefully and became Chicago, I went up one day and one of the especially violent during storms, fogs and first really distinguished men who waited damp and gloomy weather. At such times on me was a pictureman, who politely asked he would rave, declaring among other wild me to favor him with a sitting for my pic expressions, “I can never be reconciled to ture. Now, at that time there were fewer have the snow, rain and storms beat upon photographs of my phiz than at present and her grave.”-FRANK G. CARPENTER, Lippin- I went straight away with the artist, who de cotl's Jagacine, July, 1886. tained me but a moment and took one of the most really lifelike pictures I have ever seen Speed went through with the ceremony and settled down with his young bride to a of myself from the fact that he gave me no fixing or position. very domestic sort of life. Eight months But this stiff, ungovern- able hair of mine was sticking every way, elapsed and then Lincoln wrote to him a very singular letter: "I want to ask you a close very much as it is now, I suppose; and so question. Are you, in feeling as well as in the operation of his camera was but holding judgment, glad that you are married, as you the mirror up to nature. I departed and I are? From anybody but me this would be an did not think of pictures again until that impudent question, not to be tolerated; but I evening I was gratified and flattered at the know you will pardon it in me. Please cry of the newsboys who had gone on vend- answer it quickly, as I am impatient to ing the pictures, “ 'Ere's your last picter of know.” Speed's answer was not only re- Old Abe! He'll look better when he gets his assuring, but enthusiastic; and, thus has- hair combed.'”-Harper's Magazine, Febru- | tened, Lincoln once more renewed his offer to ary, 1866. Mary Todd and they were married late in Lincoln 344 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 1842. That Lincoln was still beset by ap- | stories told by a tall young man to a group prehension was apparent on the evening of of idlers on the porch, which elicited shouts the ceremony. When he was donning his of laughter, in which the narrator loudly wedding garb at the house of a friend, a joined. McDougall went to bed in a double- child asked him where he was going. “To bedded room and, when the occupant of the hell, I suppose,” was the gloomy answer. As other bed appeared, it proved to be the tall he entered the presence of his bride his face young man, Lincoln, who took a seat on the was pale and his limbs trembled visibly-a side of McDougall’s bed and asked questions, strange phenomenon in one who was to wed which were answered in a cheerful tone. the woman of his choice.--LYNDON ORR, Mun Lincoln then told his own life history. He sey's Magazine, January, 1907. had tried farming, log-rolling, boating and With women in general Lincoln was ex- finally practising law, but all had been fail. tremely shy. His friend Ellis attributes this ures. He thought the Lord was against him. attitude to the consciousness of his ungainly McDougall said he talked like one on the appearance and the conspicuous shabbiness of verge of suicide and it seemed hardly pos- his habitual apparel. “On one occasion,” sible that it was the same man who an hour writes this same Ellis, “there stopped at our before had laughed so boisterously at his own tavern a lady, her son and three stylish jokes.-NADAL, Scribner's Magazine, March, 1906. daughters." They were Virginians whom a chance of travel had detained for a season It was in the spring of 1837 and on the at the modest hostelry which was then Lin very day he obtained his license that our coln's home. During their stay he never ap intimate acquaintance began. He had ridden peared at the table, his mauvaise honte lead into town on a borrowed horse, with no ing him to prefer the eating of his bread earthly property save a pair of saddle-bags and cheese under a neighboring tree or on containing a few clothes. I was a merchant the counter of the village shop.-GORDON, | at Springfield and kept a large country store, The Cosmopolitan, December, 1894. embracing dry goods, groceries, hardware, books, medicines, bed-clothes, mattresses, in Practising Law fact, everything that the country needed. Mr. Lincoln often remarked to me that Lincoln came into the store with his saddle- it was accident that stimulated his ambition bags on his arm. He said he wanted to buy to enter the legal profession. He told it in the furniture for a single bed. The mat- these words: “One day a man who was tress, blankets, sheets, coverlid and pillow, migrating to the West drove up in front of according to the figures made by me, would my store (in New Salem, Illinois) with a cost seventeen dollars. He said that was wagon which contained his family and house perhaps cheap enough; but, small as the sum hold plunder. He asked me if I would buy was, he was unable to pay it. But if I would an old barrel for which he had no room in credit him till Christmas, and his experience his wagon and which he said contained noth- as a lawyer was a success, he would pay then, ing of special value. I did not want it, but saying in the saddest tone, "If I fail in this to oblige him I bought it and paid him, I I do not know that I can ever pay you.” think, half a dollar for it. Without further As I looked up at him I thought then, and examination I put it away in the store and think now, that I never saw a sadder face. forgot all about it. Some time after, in over- I said to him, "You seem to be so much hauling things, I came upon the barrel and, pained at contracting so small a debt; I think emptying it upon the floor to see what it I can suggest a plan by which you can contained, I found at the bottom of the rub avoid the debt and at the same time attain bish a complete edition of “Blackstone's Com- your end. I have a large room with a double mentaries." I began to read these famous bed upstairs which you are welcome to share works and the more I read the more intensely with me.” “Where is your room?" said he. interested I became. Never in my whole life “Upstairs,” said I, pointing to a pair of was my mind so thoroughly absorbed. I read winding stairs which led from the store to until I devoured them.”—The Green Bag, my room. He took his saddle-bags on his February, 1911, quoting Chauncey M. Depew. arm, went upstairs, set them down on the When Senator McDougall, of California, floor and came down with a most changed countenance. Beaming with pleasure, he ex- was a young lawyer in Troy, N. Y., he was claimed, “Well, Speed, I am moved.”-SPEED. sent to attend a suit in Illinois. He arrived at the country town late in the afternoon and He paid but little attention to the fees after supper listened for an hour to Western | and money matters of the firm-usually leap- 345 Lincoln OF THE GREAT ing all such to me. He never entered an item are too liberal with your money. Fifteen in the account book. If any one paid money dollars is enough for the job. I send you a to him which belonged to the firm, on ar receipt for fifteen dollars and return you a riving at the office he divided it with me. If ten-dollar bill. Yours truly, A. Lincoln.”— I was not there he would wrap up my share FLOYD, McClure's Magazine, January, 1908. in a piece of paper and place it in my drawer, The following story, told me by a valued marking it with lead pencil, “Case of Roe friend, well-informed and accurate, illustrates vs. Doe.-Herndon's half.”—HERNDON and what is said in the text and mentions an WEIK. event in President Lincoln's life not stated, A singular story is told of a case in 80 far as I know, by any biographer. An which a good many prominent men were important patent case (McCormick's reaper) involved besides Lincoln. Abraham Brokaw, was to be tried; Mr. Harding, of Philadel- of Bloomington, loaned five hundred dollars phia, was retained on one side by a Mr. to one of his neighbors and took a note, Watson, who had the management of the which remained unpaid. Action was brought, case on that side. Harding wished Mr. E. the sheriff levied on the property of the M. Stanton to lead in the case, who was debtor and collected the amount, but neg. older in the profession than himself, Hard- lected to turn the proceeds over. Brokaw ing being especially a patent lawyer. The employed Stephen A. Douglas, who collected next step was to retain a lawyer in Illinois; the amount from the bondsmen of the sheriff, the list in that state was looked over and but returned to his seat at Washington with a particular man selected. But it was out making a settlement. Like some other found he could not be had. Then Abraham great men, Douglas was very careless about Lincoln's name was canvassed; he had oc- money matters and, after appealing to him casionally had to do with patent cases. Mr. again and again, Brokaw employed David Watson made a journey to Springfield, Illi- Davis to bring suit against the senator. Be nois, to see him and decide. He arrived after ing an intimate friend and fellow Democrat, dark—was directed to a two-story frame Davis disliked to appear in the case, and by house; knocked; a window above was opened. his advice Brokaw engaged the services of Mr. Lincoln was engaged—could not be seen. Lincoln. The latter wrote to Douglas at "Oh, but,” said Mr. Watson, “I have come Washington that he had a claim against him all the way from the East to consult with for collection and must insist on prompt him about an important case.” There was payment. Douglas became very indignant a pause and the voice said Mr. Lincoln and reproached Brokaw for placing such a would come down. He did descend; received political weapon in the hands of an aboli | Mr. Watson in his shirt-sleeves-he had been tionist. Brokaw sent Douglas's letter to putting up a bedstead. Mr. Watson con- Lincoln and the latter employed “Long John”. ferred with him and reported he thought he Wentworth, then a Democratic member of would do. He was accordingly engaged. Congress from Chicago, as an associate in Watson, Stanton, Harding and Lincoln went the case. Wentworth saw Douglas, persuad at the appointed time to Cincinnati, where ed him to pay the money and forwarded five the case was to be tried before the United hundred dollars to Lincoln, who, in turn, States Circuit Court. They met at the hotel. paid it to Brokaw and sent him a bill for Lincoln's appearance was uncouth and Stan- three dollars and fifty cents for professional ton was especially disturbed by it. "Sup- services.-CURTIS. pose we go up to the court in a gang," I had leased the Quincy House, at Quin- said Lincoln. Stanton made no reply, but walked off with Harding. In the court room cy, Illinois. The property was owned by a Lincoln's appearance caused remark and widow, Mrs. Enos, who lived at Springfield. I employed Mr. Lincoln to execute the lease Reverdy Johnson, who was engaged on the for me. He sent the lease to me at Quincy, other side, thought he could gain something but said nothing about pay for his services. by making sure of a speech from his uncouth Thinking twenty-five dollars would be about opponent. Ile accordingly, addressing the right I sent him that amount. In a few court, said, he hoped that all the counsel days I received a letter from Mr. Lincoln, on the other side would speak; that although of which the following is a copy: “February but two counsel were engaged on his (John- 21, 1856. Dear Sir:-I have just received son's) side, that need not prevent three from yours of the 16th inst. with a check on speaking on the other side. Stanton in- Flagg & Savage for twenty-five dollars. You stantly saw what Reverdy Johnson was aim- must think I am a high-priced man. You | ing at and sprang to his feet. He was much Dincoln 346 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES obliged to his learned friend for the interest | Mr. Lincoln, “don't you think that this is in their management of the case; but they an almighty small crop of fight to gather preferred to direct it themselves. There from such a big piece of ground ?” The jury would only two speak on that side. Accord laughed, the court and district attorney all ingly, Stanton opened and spoke for three joined in and the case was laughed out days. Lincoln did not speak. That side won, of court.--DEPEW, Allen Thorndike Rice, and the fee Lincoln received was the money | "Reminiscences of Lincoln.” he used in stumping Illinois in 1859 against The following anecdote of the late Pres- Douglas. Stanton became Secretary of War, ident Lincoln has never been published, I Watson Assistant Secretary; Harding was think, and unlike, perhaps, some of the sto- offered office, but declined.--JOHN MACDON- NELL, The Contemporary Review, September, ries attributed to him, is an actual fact, for I have it from one who was present at the 1867. time and sat next to the hero: During Mr. One day when Mr. Lincoln was absent Lincoln's practise of the profession of the —he had gone to Chicago to try a suit in law, long before he was thought of for presi- the United States court--his wife and I dent, he was attending the circuit court, formed a conspiracy to take off the roof which met at Bloomington, Illinois. The and raise his house. It was originally a prosecuting attorney, a lawyer by the name structure one and a half stories high. When of Lamon, was a man of great physical Lincoln returned he met a gentleman on the strength and took particular pleasure in sidewalk, and, manifesting great surprise, in athletic sports and was so fond of wrestling quired, “Stranger, can you tell me where that his power and experience rendered him Lincoln lives?" The gentleman gave him a formidable and generally successful op- the necessary information and Lincoln grave- ponent. One pleasant day in the fall Lamon ly entered his own premises.—HERNDON and was wrestling near the court house with some WEIK, quoting a statement by James Gour one who had challenged him to a trial and ley. in the scuffle made a large rent in the rear After listening one day to a would-be of his unmentionables. Before he had time client's statements, with his eyes on the to make any change he was called into court ceiling, he swung around in his chair and to take up a case. The evidence was finished exclaimed: “Well, you have a pretty good and Lamon got up to address the jury and, case in technical law, but a pretty bad one having on a somewhat short coat, his mis- in equity and justice. You'll have to get | fortune was rather apparent. One of the some other fellow to win this case for you. lawyers for a joke started a subscription I couldn't do it. All the time while talking | paper, which was passed from one member to the jury I'd be thinking, 'Lincoln, you're of the bar to another as they sat by a long a liar and I believe I should forget myself table fronting the bench, to buy a pair of and say it out loud.”—MONTGOMERY, Amer. | pantaloons for Lamon, "he being," the paper ican Law Revicio, Jay-Jane, 1903, quoting said, “a poor but worthy young man.” Sev. General John II. Littlefield. eral put down their names with some ludi- He told me that, in his judgment, one crous subscription, and finally the paper was laid by some one in front of Mr. Lincoln. He of the two best things he ever originated was quietly glanced over the paper and imme. this: He was trying a case in Illinois where diately took up his pen and wrote after his he appeared for a prisoner charged with ag- name, "I cannot contribute anything to the gravated assault and battery. The com- plainant had told a horrible story of the end in view."-Harper's Magazine, March, 1866. attack, which his appearance fully justified, when the district attorney handed the wit In a case in which Judge Logan-always ness over to Mr. Lincoln for cross-examina earnest and grave-opposed him, Lincoln tion. Mr. Lincoln said he had no testimony created no little merriment by his reference and unless he could break down the com- | to Logan's style of dress. He carried the plainant's story he saw no way out. He had surprise in store for the latter till he reached come to the conclusion that the witness was his turn before the jury. Addressing them a bumptious man, who rather prided himself, he said: “Gentlemen, you must be careful on his smartness in repartee, and so, after and not permit yourself to be overcome by looking at him for some minutes, he said, the eloquence of counsel for the defense. “Well, my friend, how much ground did you Judge Logan, I know, is an effective lawyer. and my client here fight over?” The fellow I have met him too often to doubt that, but answered, “About six acres.” “Well,” said shrewd and careful though he be, still he is 347 Lincoln OF THE GREAT sometimes wrong. Since this trial has be tinuous rulings against him as not only un- gun I have discovered that, with all his cau just but foolish, and, figuratively speaking, tion and fastidiousness, he hasn't knowledge he peeled the court from head to foot. Lin- enough to put his shirt on right." Logan coln had the crowd, a portion of the bar and turned red as crimson, but, sure enough, Lin-1 the jury with him and this nerved him to a coln was correct, for the former had donned feeling of desperation. He was in fact "mad a new shirt and by mistake had drawn it all over.” He had studied up the points in- over his head with the pleated bosom be. volved, but, knowing full well the caliber of hind. The general laugh which followed the judge, Lincoln relied mostly on the destroyed the effect of Logan's eloquence over moral effect of his personal bearing and in- the jury.--HERNDON and WEIK. fluence. He was alternately furious and elo- quent, and after pursuing the court with During my first attendance at court in broad facts and pointed inquiries in rapid Menard county some thirty young men had succession, he made use of this homely inci- been indicted for playing cards and Lincoln dent to clinch his argi ment. He said: “In and I were employed for the defense. The early days a party of men went out hunting prosecuting attorney, in framing the indict- for wild boar. But the game came on them ments, alternately charged the defendants unawares and, scampering away, they all with playing a certain game of cards called climbed trees, save one, who, seizing the ani- seven-up, and in the next bill charged them mal by the ears, undertook to hold him. with playing cards at a certain game called After holding on for some time and feeling old sledge. Four defendants were indicted his strength giving way, he cried out to in each bill. The prosecutor, being entirely his companions in the trees, "For God's sake, unacquainted with games at cards, did not boys, come down and help me let go.'” The know the fact that seven-up and old sledge prosecution tried in vain to break him down were one and the same. Upon the trials of and the judge, badgered effectually by Lin- the bills describing the game of seven-up our coln's masterly arraignment of law and fact, witnesses would swear that che game was pretended to see the error of his former posi- old sledge and vice versa on the bills alleg. tion and finally reversed his decision in his ing the latter. The result was an acquittal tormentor's favor. Ilis client was acquitted in every case under the instructions of the and he had swept the field.-Row HERNDON. court. The prosecutor never found out the dodge until the trials were over and im On one occasion Mr. Lincoln rode up to mense fun and rejoicing were indulged in at the tavern, where he usually put up, a day the result.-HERNDON and WEIK, quoting “a or two after the other lawyers had arrived, lawyer who traveled the circuit with Lin and, on being pleasantly rallied by the land- coln.” lord for his tardiness, responded, using an I remember a murder case in which we apt illustration: “Well, uncle, you know appeared for the defense and during the trial as the drove of cattle are driven along the largest animals always fall behind.” When of which the judge-a man of ability far in- it is remembered that Mr. Lincoln was very ferior to Lincoln's-kept ruling against us. tall, the humor of his remark can be ap- Finally, a very material question-in fact, I preciated. —SOMERS (Clerk of the Cham- one around which the entire case seemed to paign County-Illinois-Court, 1857), The revolve-came up and again the court ruled adversely. The prosecution was jubilant and Green Bay, February, 1908. Lincoln, seeing defeat certain unless he re "Old Squire Bagley,” he said, “came into covered his ground, grew very despondent. my office and said, 'Lincoin, I want your ad- The notion crept into his head that the vice as a lawyer. llas a man what's been court's rulings, which were absurd and al elected justice of the peace a right to issue a most spiteful, were aimed at him and this marriage license?' I told him he had not, angered him beyond reason. Ile told of his when the old squire threw himself back in feelings at dinner and said, “I have de his chair very indignantly and said, 'Lincoln, termined to crowd the court to the wall and I thought you was a lawyer. Now, Bob regain my position before night.” From that Thomas and me have bet on this thing and time forward it was interesting to watch him. we agreed to let you decide; but, if this is At the re-assembling of the court he arose your opinion, I don't want it, for I know a to read a few authorities in support of his thunderin' sight better, for I have been squire position, keeping within the bounds of pro now eight years and have done it all the priety just far enough to avoid a reprimand time.'”—The Green Bay, February, 1911, from the court. He characterized the con- | quoting Chauncey M. Depew, Liucoln 348 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The president then told the story of a sure,” replied the stranger, “but how will witness in a court in a neighboring county | you get it again ?” “Oh, very readily,” re- who, being asked his age, replied, “Sixty." I plied Mr. Lincoln, “as I intend to remain Being satisfied he was much older and re- in it."-SCOVEL, The National Magazine, ceiving the same answer, the court admon March, 1903, quoting Orville H. Browning. ished the witness, saying, “The court knows you to be much older than sixty.” “Oh, I On the Stump understand now," was the rejoinder, "you're While “stumping” in Illinois I had an ap- thinking of those ten years I spent on the pointment to address an open air meeting in eastern shore of Maryland; that was so much the capitol grounds in Springfield, Mr. Lin- time lost and don't count.”—HERNDON and coln's place of residence. ... The day was WEIK. blazing hot. Mr. Lincoln expressed his regret One evening the president brought a that I had to exert myself in such a tempera- couple of friends into the state dining room ture and suggested that I make myself com- to see my picture. Something was said in fortable. He indeed made himself comfort. the conversation that ensued that "reminded" able in a way which surprised me not a him of the following circumstance: "Judge little, but which was thoroughly characteris- - " said he, “held the strongest ideas of tic of his rustic habits. When he presented rigid government and close construction that | himself for his march to the capitol grounds I ever met. It was said of him on one oc I observed that he had divested himself of casion that he would hang a man for blow. his waistcoat and put on, as his sole garment, ing his nose in the street, but he would quash a linen duster, the back of which had been the indictment if it failed to specify which marked with repeated perspirations and hand he blew it with.”-CARPENTER in "Ray looked somewhat like a rough map of the mond's Lincoln.” two hemispheres. On his head he wore a After his admittance to the Springfield well-battered "stove pipe” hat which had bar in 1836, Lincoln rode several miles to evidently seen several years of hard service. witness a trial by jury. This incident after- In this attire he marched with me behind the wards became the theme of one of his best brass band, after us the local campaign com- stories with which he was wont to regale us. mittee and the Wide-Awakes. Of course, he “The court, I remember,” said Mr. Lincoln, was utterly unconscious of his grotesque ap- “was held in a small town in the Eighth pearance. -SCHTRZ. Judicial District of Illinois. On account of It was this warm frankness in Mr. Lin- the absence of a court house, the town school, coln's manner that made a hard-headed old much to the joy of the scholars, was brought “hunker” once leave the hustings where Lin- into use. The circuit judge, an elderly and coln was speaking, in 1856, saying, “I won't portly man, had had a bad touch of the gout, hear him, for I don't like a man that makes and the master's hard wooden chair in which me believe in him in spite of myself.”— he sat became decidedly uncomfortable as a Harper's Magazine, July, 1865. long, uninteresting case dragged through the Sarcastically commenting on the efforts hot afternoon. Finally the opposing lawyer of General Cass's biographers to make the finished and he arose for the final address. old statesman a military hero, Lincoln, in 'Gentlemen of the jury,' he began, savagely a congressional speech delivered during the brushing a pair of hungry flies from his shiny canvass of 1848, said: “By the way, Mr. bald head, you have heard all the evidence. Speaker, did you know I am a military hero? If you believe what the counsel for the Yes, sir; in the days of the Black Hawk war, plaintiff has told you, your verdict will be I fought, bled and came away. Speaking of for the plaintiff'; but if on the other hand | General Cass's career reminds me of my you believe what the defendant's counsel has own. I was not at Stillman's defeat, but I told you, then you will give a verdict for the was about as near it as Cass was to Hull's defendant. But if you are like me, and don't surrender; and, like him, I saw the place believe what either of them has said, then soon afterwards.”—ABBOTT. I'll be hanged if I know what you will do.'” When Senator Douglas made his first -The Green Bag, February, 1911, quoting speech in Chicago, in opening the great cam- Chauncey M. Depew. paign in which Lincoln was pitted against A gentleman driving along the Spring. | him, Mr. Lincoln was present and was in- field road was accosted by Mr. Lincoln, who | vited to sit on the platform. On the eren- said, “Will you have the goodness to take ing before the Common Council of Chicago my overcoat to town for me?” “With plea- | had passed a resolution denouncing the Dred 349 Thincoln OF THE GREAT h Scott decision, and Douglas called the coun He had another saying, or rather story, cil to account for attempting to reverse and which was often bandied back and forth be- override a decision of the Supreme Court of twixt him and Judge Douglas. Either, when the United States, saying that it reminded some darling scheme had gone amiss, was apt him of the statement of an old friend who to say, "he felt like the boy who stubbed used to declare that if you wished to get his toe and said it hurt too bad to laugh over justice in a case you should take it to the it and he was too nigh a man to cry over Supreme Court of Illinois and from that it.”-BUTTON, Lippincott's Magazine, Febru- court take an appeal to a justice of the ary, 1901. peace. Lincoln's voice was heard from be- “I once knew," he said, “a good sound hind the speaker, sotto voce, calling, “Judge! churchman, whom we will call Brown, who Judge! Judge!” The senator paused and was in a committee to erect a bridge over a turned around and Lincoln said, “Judge, that very dangerous and rapid river. Architect was when you were on the Illinois Supreme after architect failed, and at last Brown said bench.” So far from being put out by the he had a friend named Jones, who had built interruption Judge Douglas repeated the joke several bridges and could build this. 'Let us of his "friend Lincoln” to the audience. - have him in,' said the committee. In came CARR. Jones. Can you build this bridge, sir?' He carried the crowd with him and 'Yes,' replied Jones. 'I can build a bridge swayed them as he pleased. So deep an im to the infernal regions, if necessary. The pression did he make that George Forquer, a sober committee were horrified. Brown man of much celebrity as a sarcastic speaker thought it but fair to defend his friend. 'I and a great state reputation as an orator, know Jones so well,' said he, 'he is so honest rose and asked the people to hear him. He a man and so good an architect, that if he commenced his speech by saying that this states soberly and positively that he can young man would have to be taken down and build a bridge to Hades, why, I believe it, he was sorry that the task devolved on him. but I have my doubts about the abutments He made what was called one of his slasher on the infernal side.' So,” Mr. Lincoln add- gaff speeches, dealing much in ridicule and ed, “when politicians said they could harmon- sarcasm. Lincoln stood near him with his ize the northern and southern wings of the arms folded, never interrupting him. When Democracy, why, I believe them, but I have Forquer was done Lincoln walked to the my doubts about the abutment on the South- stand and replied so fully and completely ern side.”-ABBOTT. that his friends bore him from the court house on their shoulders. So deep an impres- THE PRESIDENCY AND ITS BURDEN sion did his first speech make upon me that I Dark Days of the Rebellion remember its conclusion now. Said he: “The No nobler reply ever fell from the lips of gentleman commenced his speech by saying a ruler than that uttered by President Lin- that this young man will have to be taken coln in response to the clergyman who ven- down and he was sorry that the task de tured to say, in his presence, that he "hoped volved upon him. I am not so young in that the Lord was on our side." "I am not years as I am in the tricks of the trade of at all concerned about that,” replied Mr. a politician; but, live or die young, I would Lincoln, "for I know that the Lord is always rather die now than, like the gentleman, 1 on the side of the right. But it is my con- change my politics and simultaneous with stant anxiety and prayer that I and this the change receive an office worth three thou nation should be on the Lord's side.”-F. B. sand dollars a year and then have to erect a CARPENTER, "Six Months in the White lightning rod over my house to protect a House.” guilty conscience from an offended God.” To A short time before the death of Mr. understand the point of this, Forquer had Lincoln a prominent politician from Penn- been a Whig, but changed his politics and sylvania called upon him and in the course been appointed register of the land office and of conversation a remark was made at which over his house was the only lightning rod in the president said, “That reminds me of a the town or county. Lincoln had seen it little story. But," continued he, “don't tell for the first time on the day before. Not | the people of Pennsylvania when you return understanding its properties he made it a that Lincoln said that reminded him of a study that night by the aid of a book, little story. People all say that; and yet, bought for the purpose, until he knew all if they had ridden this old, rough war horse about it.-SPEED. | over the corduroy roads as I have done dur- I Lincoln 350 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ing the past four years they would be glad | As I came up to the railing in front of of an opportunity to mount a pony occasion him he was reading a paper that had just ally and amble around the door yard to amuse been presented to him by a man who sat in the children.”—Harper's Magazine, August, the chair opposite to him and who seemed, by 1865. his restlessness and unsteady eyes, to be of It was in the dark days of 1862. He a nervous disposition or under great ex- citement. Mr. Lincoln, still holding the pa- called upon the president early one morning, per up and without movement of any kind, just after news of a disaster. Mr. Lincoln commenced telling some trifling incident, paused and, raising his eyes, looked for a which the congressman was in no mood to long time at the man's face and seemed to be looking down into his very soul. hear. He rose to his feet and said, "Mr. Then, President, I did not come here this morning resuming his reading for a few moments, he to hear stories; it is too serious a time.” In- again paused and cast the same piercing look stantly the smile disappeared from Mr. Lin- upon his visitor. Suddenly, without warn- coln's face, who exclaimed, “A- , sit down. ing, he dropped the paper and stretching out I respect you as an earnest, sincere man. his long arm he pointed his finger directly You cannot be more anxious than I am con- into the face of his vis-à-vis and said, stantly, and I say to you now that, were it “What's the matter with you?” The man not for this occasional vent, I should die.”— stammered and finally replied, “Nothing." CARPENTER, in Raymond's "Lincoln.” “Yes, there is,” said Lincoln. “You can't look me in the face. You have not looked General Schenck once told me of being me in the face since you sat there. Even with Lincoln on the occasion of his receive now you are looking out of that window and ing bad news from the army. Placing his cannot look me in the eyes." Then, flinging hand upon the general's knees and speaking the paper in the man's lap, he cried, “Take it with much emotion he said: “You have lit- back! There is something wrong about this. tle idea of the terrible weight of care and I will have nothing to do with it"--and the sense of responsibility of this office of mine. discomfited individual retired.-BANCROFT, Schenck, if to be at the head of hell is as McClure's Magazine, February, 1909. hard as what I have to undergo here, I could find it in my heart to pity Satan himself.”— We were to leave City Point on Satur. RICE. day, April 8th. A few hours prior to our leaving, the military band came from the It is true you may fool all the people headquarters on board the River Queen. We some of the time; you can even fool some assembled to hear it. After the perform- of the people all of the time; but you can't ance of several pieces Mr. Lincoln thought fool all of the people all of the time.—MC of the “Marseillaise," and said to us that CLURE. he had a great liking for that tune. He Instances were given by the president to ordered it to be played. Delighted with it, show that courage does not depend on color. he had it played a second time. “You must, A colonel on the eve of battle gave his however, come over to America," said he, "to color-bearer the regimental flag, saying, “De hear it.” He then asked me if I had ever fend it, and protect it; die for it, if need heard “Dixie," the rebels' patriotic song, to be, but never surrender it.” The black color: the sound of which all their attacks had bearer replied, “Colonel, I will return this been conducted. As I answered in the nega. flag with honor, or I will report to God the tive he answered, “That tune is now Fed. reason why." He died in defending the flag. eral property; it belongs to us and, at any -SCOVEL, Lippincott's Magazine, August, rate, it is good to show the rebels that with 1889. us they will be free to hear it again.” He The president respected the sanctity of then ordered the somewhat surprised musi- cians to play it for us.-CHAMBRUN, Scrib- the Sabbath and disapproved of unnecessary ner's Magazine, January, 1893. work on that day. I accompanied him on his visit to McDowell at Falmouth, when the The surrender of the city, written upon general told him he would not be ready to a piece of wall paper, had been formally de- start before Sunday on the march to Rich livered into the hands of Major Stevens and mond, but, knowing his objections to initiat the star-spangled banner once more waved ing movements on that day, he would leave it from the capitol. Through the desolate, to his judgment. The reply was, “Take a smoke-blackened streets of Richmond Mr. good rest and start Monday morning." Lincoln came to the old Pickett house in HAUPT, search of his friend and law partner, the 351 Lincoln OF THE GREAT general's uncle. Then he asked for the gen ment and then, with a face eloquent with eral, perhaps wishing in his generous heart emotion and honest as his own, she replied, to offer the comfort of a cordial handshake “Yes, loyal to the heart's core to Virginia.” to the soldier he had known in his ambitious Mr. Lincoln kept his intense gaze upon her youth, whose hopes had gone down with the for a moment longer and then went to his pride and glory of Richmond. The general desk, wrote a line or two and then handed being yet in the field, Mr. Lincoln asked for her the paper. With a bow the interview the general's wife. The inquiry was an terminated. Once outside, the extreme vexa- swered by a lady who came forward with a tion of Mr. Blair found vent in reproachful baby in her arms and saw at the door a tall, words. "Now you have done it,” he said; strong.visaged stranger, with earnest, care "didn't I warn you to be very careful? You worn features and a kindly light in his ten- have only yourself to blame.” The young der, melancholy eyes. “I am George Pickett's lady made no reply but opened the paper. It wife, sir," I said. “And I am Abraham Lin. contained these words: “Pass Miss — ; she coln.” “The president ?" "No; Abraham Lin is an honest girl and can be trusted. A. coln, George's old friend.” Seeing baby's out Lincoln.”—Magazine of American History, stretched arms, Mr. Lincoln took him and March, 1889. little George opened wide his mouth and Two boys ran away from their parents gave his father's friend a dewy baby kiss. while under age and enlisted in the navy. As the baby was taken back into his moth- The parents made many ineffectual efforts to er's arms, Mr. Lincoln said in that deep and get their sons discharged. They finally got sympathetic voice which was one of his an audience with Mr. Lincoln-no easy mat- greatest powers over the hearts of men: ter under the pressure of the president's "Tell your father, the rascal, that I forgive manifold duties and engagements. The par- him for the sake of your mother's sweet ents said that the worst fault of the boys smile and your bright eyes.”—MRS. GENERAL was their disobedience to parental commands. PICKETT, Lippincott's Magazine, May, 1906. Mr. Lincoln listened quietly to the story of I shall never forget a homely incident the anxious fathers. He made no answer to which occurred at that interview (1863] il their earnest appeals for the boys' discharge lustrating the entire absence of convention but, reaching over to an adjoining table, alities upon the part of the president. Mr. picked up a blank card and wrote these Lincoln sat at an office desk, under which his words: "Secretary Welles—The United States long legs protruded to an extent which made don't need the services of boys who disobey them conspicuous. At first he had on a pair their parents. Let both Snyder and Rat- of carpet slippers, but as the conversation cliffe be discharged. A. Lincoln.”-JAMES M. progressed he unconsciously withdrew his SCOVEL, Lippincott's Magazine, August, 1889. feet, disclosing what seemed to be a pair of In company with a gentleman I was on dark yarn stockings, through which had the way to the War Department one day. worked his great toe and this he kept in al- most perpetual motion.-BRANDEGEE, New Our way led through a small park between the White House and the War Department York Tribune, January 23, 1887. building. As we entered this park we noticed Mr. Lincoln just ahead of us and meeting him Appeals for Clemency a private soldier who was evidently in a vio- During the war a beautiful and spirited lent passion, as he was swearing in a high Virginia belle, whose brother, a Confederate | key, cursing the government from the presi- soldier, had been taken prisoner by the Union dent down. Mr. Lincoln paused as he met forces, was desirous of obtaining a pass the irate soldier and asked him what was the which would enable her to visit him. Francis matter. "Matter enough,” was the reply; P. Blair agreed to secure for the lady an “I want my money; I've been discharged and audience with the president, but warned his can't get my pay.” Mr. Lincoln asked him if young and rather impulsive friend to be very he had his papers, saying that he used to prudent and let not a word escape her which practise law in a small way and could pos- would betray her Southern sympathies. They sibly help him. My friend and I stepped be- were ushered into the presence of Mr. Lin hind some convenient shrubbery where we coln and their objects and wishes stated. The could watch the result. Mr. Lincoln took the tall, grave president bent down to the pe- | papers from the hand of the crippled soldier tite maiden and, looking her searchingly in and sat down with him at the foot of a con- the face, said, “You are, of course, loyal ?" venient tree, where he examined them care- Her bright eyes flashed. She hesitated a mo- | fully and, writing a line on the back, told Lincoln 352 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the soldier to take them to Mr. Potts, Chief In his eulogy of the late Chief Justice Clerk of the War Department, who would Chase Mr. Evarts told a characteristic anec- doubtless attend to the matter at once. After dote of Mr. Lincoln. It was in reference to Mr. Lincoln had left the soldier we stepped the distribution of government patronage out and asked him if he knew whom he had that he said, at the outset of his administra- been talking with. "Some ugly fellow who tion, “I am like a man letting rooms at one pretends to be a lawyer," was the reply. My end of his house while the other is on fire.”— companion asked to see the papers and, on Harper's Magazine, October, 1874. their being handed to him, pointed to the endorsement they had received. This en- I called upon the president soon after he dorsement read: “Mr. Potts-Attend to this was installed in the White House. In the room where Mr. Lincoln granted interviews man's case at once and see that he gets his pay. A. L.” The initials were too familiar were several persons who were waiting their with men in position who knew them to be turn to speak to him. I listened to the re- quests of several men and women and I saw ignored. We went with the soldier, who had that very few were granted what they solicit- just returned from Libby prison and had been given a hospital certificate of discharge, ed. I had a seat at or near one end of a long to see Mr. Potts and before the paymaster's table. Mr. Lincoln sat at the other end. Soon after I was seated, in walked several offi- office was closed for the day he had received his discharge and a check for the money due cers in the Spanish navy to pay their compli- ments to Mr. Lincoln. By some means they him, he in the meantime not knowing wheth- er to be more pleased or sorry to think that were directed to my end of the table and I he had cursed "Abe Lincoln to his face.”— saw that they took me for the president. Mr. TARBELL, McClure's Magazine, June, 1899, Lincoln saw the same thing and hastily sig. naled to me "go ahead," as he expressed it, quoting A. W. Swan. and receive them. I rose, shook hands with In Lighter Vein each officer and exchanged a few words with I was asked to sing. Poor Mr. Lincoln! them, which would, I suppose, have been ap- who, I understood, could not endure music. propriate, had I indeed been the president. I pitied him. “None of your foreign fire- The moment their backs were turned I looked works," said Mr. Trott, in his graceful man- towards Mr. Lincoln. He was shaking with ner as I passed him on my way to the piano. laughter. I thought now I had paved my way to win the position I had come to ask. I answered, “Shall I sing "Three Little Kit- tens'? I think that is the least fireworky of I made up my mind to address the president my repertoire.” But I concluded that a in a new way and thus add to the hold I al. simple little rocket like 'Robin Adair' would ready had upon him. So when my time came I stepped up to Mr. Lincoln and said: “Sir, kill nobody; therefore I sang that and it had a success. When the gaunt president took I have seen the annoyances to which you are my hand to thank me, he held it in a grip of subjected by so many and oft-repeated re- iron, and when, to accentuate the compli- quests for innumerable positions, etc. Now, ment, meaning to give a little extra pressure, if you will permit me to shake hands I will he put his left hand over his right, I felt as endeavor to smother my desire for a certain if my hand was shut in a waffle-iron and I position which I had come to ask of you." should never straighten it out again. “Music Mr. Lincoln jumped and, grasping my hand, is not much in my line," said the president; said, “Sir, you are one man in a thousand. I am doubly indebted to you. You have been “but when you sing you warble yourself into a man's heart. I'd like to hear you sing the means of conveying to those Spanish offi- cers that the president of the United States some more.” What other mild cracker could I fire off? Then I thought of that lovely is a very handsome man and then you do not even ask an office. But,” he added; "hurry song, 'Mary was a Lassie,' which you like so home; you may repent." It is sufficient to much, so I sang that. Mr. Lincoln said, "I say that I hurried.-Harper's Magazine, May, think I might become a musician if I heard 1877. you often, but so far I know only two tunes." “'Hail Columbia'?" I asked. “You know that, One day—said Mr. Lincoln—when I first I am sure.” “Oh, yes; I know that, for I came here, I got into a fit of musing in my have to stand up and take off my hat." "And room and stood resting my elbows on the ther one?” “The other one? Oh, the bureau. Looking into the glass it struck me other one is the other when I don't stand up." what an awfully ugly man I was. The fact -LILLIE DE HEGERMANN-LINDENCRONE, letter I grew on me and I made up my mind that I to her aunt, dated Philadelphia, July, 1864. I must be the ugliest man in the world. It so 353 Lincoln OF THE GREAT maddened me that I resolved, should I ever he had been inspecting the wounded and sur- see an uglier, I would shoot him on sight. veying this field of national disaster. Lin- Not long after this, Andy-naming a lawyer coln showed much anxiety about the wounded present-came to town and the first time I and asked many questions about the battle. saw him I said to myself, “There's the man.” Governor Curtin replied, "Mr. President, it I went home, took down my gun and prowled was not a battle; it was a butchery," and around the streets waiting for him. He soon proceeded to give a graphic description of the came along. "Ilalt, Andy," said I, pointing | scenes he had witnessed. Lincoln was heart- the gun at him; “say your prayers, for I am broken at the recital and soon reached a state going to shoot you.” “Why, Mr. Lincoln, of nervous excitement bordering on insanity. what's the matter? What have I done?” | Finally, as the governor was leaving the room, "Well, I made an oath that if I ever saw an he went forward and, taking the president by uglier man than I am I'd shoot him on the the hand, tenderly expressed his sympathy for spot. You are uglier; sure; so make ready his sorrow. He said, “Mr. President, I am to die.” “Mr. Lincoln, do you really think deeply touched by your sorrow and at the that I am uglier than you ?" "Yes." "Well, distress I have caused you. I have only Mr. Lincoln,” said Andy deliberately and look answered your questions. No doubt my im- ing me squarely in the face, “if I am any pressions have been colored by the suffering uglier, fire away.”—Harper's Magazine, Octo I have seen. I trust matters will look bright- ber, 1877. er when the official reports come in. I would Senator Voorhees once told me a rather give all I possess to know how to rescue you interesting story in connection with President from this terrible war.” Lincoln's whole as- Lincoln. It was the occasion of the dedica- pect suddenly changed and he relieved his mind by telling a story. “This reminds me, tion of what was known as the Foundery Methodist church in Washington. Mr. Lin- Governor," he said, "of an old farmer out in coln was present, Voorhees was there and Illinois whom I used to know. He took it into his head to go into hog-raising. He sent Bishop Simpson delivered the dedicatory ad- dress. The bishop was an eloquent speaker out to Europe and imported the finest breed of hogs he could buy. The prize hog was and his sermon was a characteristic one. The put in a pen and the farmer's two mischievous president was seated in an armchair in front boys-John and James-were told to be sure of the pulpit, with his back to the minister, not to let him out. But James, the worse and after the sermon was over an effort was made to raise funds to pay the debt of the of the two, let the brute out the next day. church. This phase of the meeting was tire- The hog went straight for the boys and drove John up a tree. Then the hog went for the somely protracted, the minister in the custom- ary style earnestly urging an unresponsive seat of James's trousers and the only way the boy could save himself was by holding on to congregation to contribute until nearly every the hog's tail. Finally inducement had been exhausted. The hog would not give up somebody started a movement to raise a cer- | his hunt, nor the boy his hold. After they +ain definite amount of money, the achieve- had made a good many circles around the ment of which would make the president a tree, the boy's courage began to give out and life member of some church society. But he shouted to his brother, 'I say, John, come even this scheme was not accepted with much down quick and help me let this hog go.' enthusiasm and Bishop Simpson renewed his Now, governor, that is exactly my case. I plea for donations. At last Mr. Lincoln, who wish some one would come and help me let had grown tired and bored at the perform- this hog go.”—RICE. ance, craned his head around to Bishop Simp On one occasion, when, being struck son and said in a tone that everybody heard: with an amusing rhyme which I showed him "Simpson, if you will stop this auction I will in a number of Harper's Weekly, instead of pay the money myself.”—CULLOM. requesting me to cut it out for him, he bor- rowed my knife, and, extending himself at I know of no better illustration of the | half length on the deck, spread the paper be- peculiar rapidity with which he would pass from one side of his nature to the other than fore him and cut the piece out, remarking at a reminiscence for which I am indebted to the same time that it was not precisely the Governor Curtin of Pennsylvania, who, at attitude for the president of the United the time, was one of the leading war gover- States to assume, but it was a good position nors. He was summoned to see Lincoln at for a man who merely wanted to cut a piece the White House, on arriving after midnight out of a newspaper. This little scrap from the battle-field at Fredericksburg, where | amused him exceedingly. It was a very Lincoln 354 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES absurd idea, absurdly expressed; but there secretary took the chances and ans was something about it that pleased his | back: “All right; go ahead.” “Now, Mr. fancy, and he was not satisfied until he had President,” said he, “if I have made a mig. read it to each one of the party, appearing take you must countermand my instructions." to enjoy it the more the oftener he read it. “I suppose you meant," said Mr. Lincoln, He even called up the captain of the cutter “that it was all right if it was good for him, and read it to him.-EGBERT L. VIELE, and all wrong if it was not. That reminds Scribner's Monthly, October, 1878. me," said he, "of a story about a horse Speaking of the practise that grew up that was sold at the cross-roads where I once lived. The horse was supposed to be fast and in the beginning of the war, for everybody that found himself in command at a cross- quite a number of people were present at the time appointed for the sale. A small boy was roads--or any other place, no matter how employed to ride th, horse backward and for. insignificant-to issue a grandiloquent proc- ward to exhibit his points. One of the lamation to the inhabitants, defining the position of the government, and more par- would-be buyers followed the boy down the road and asked him confidentially if the ticularly expressing his own views upon the horse had a splint. Well, mister,' said the situation, etc., Mr. Lincoln remarked that boy, 'if it's good for him he's got it, but if he had been so much annoyed by these mani- it isn't good for him he hasn't.' And that's festoes that he had determined to put a the position," said the president, "you seem stop to them. The first occasion that of- fered itself was when Burnside and Golds- to have left General Mitchell in. Well, Stan- ton, I guess he'll come out right; but at any borough appeared at the Executive mansion to receive their final instructions in regard rate, you can't help him now."-EGBERT L. VIELE, Scribner's Monthly, October, 1878. to the joint military and naval expedition to North Carolina. He called their atten Some gentlemen fresh from a western tion to this subject, expressing very decided tour, during a call at the White House, re- opinions in the matter. “Would you be ferred in the course of conversation to a body lieve it,” said Mr. Lincoln; "when I spoke of water in Nebraska which bore an Indian of proclamations, each pulled one out of his name signifying "Weeping Water.” Mr. Lin. pocket that had been prepared in advance, coln instantly responded, “As Laughing Wat- without consultation. I had no idea of er, according to Longfellow, is Minnehaha, catching them in the very act."-EGBERT L. | this evidently should be Minne bouhoo." VIELE, Scribner's Monthly, October, 1878. A juvenile “brigadier” from New York, Both Mr. Chase and Mr. Stanton were with a small detachment of cavalry, having under great depression of spirits when we imprudently gone within the rebel lines near started, and Mr. Chase remarked with a Fairfax Court House, was captured by "guer. good deal of seriousness that he had for. rillas." Upon the fact being reported to Mr. gotten to write a very important letter be Lincoln, he said he was very sorry to lose the fore leaving. It was too late to remedy the horses. “What do you mean?” inquired his omission, and Mr. Lincoln at once drove the | informant. “Why," rejoined the president, thought of it from his mind by telling him “I can make a better brigadier any day, that a man was sometimes lucky in forget. but those horses cost the government a hun. ting to write a letter, for he seldom knew | dred and twenty-five dollars a head.” what it contained until it appeared some A visitor, congratulating Mr. Lincoln on day to confront him with an indiscreet word the prospect of his re-election, was answered or expression; and then he told a humorous with an anecdote of an Illinois farmer who story of a sad catastrophe that happened in undertook to blast his own rocks. His first a family, which was ascribed to something effort at producing an explosion was a fail- that came in a letter--a catastrophe so far ure. He explained the cause by exclaiming, beyond the region of possibility that it set “Pshaw! This powder has been shot before." us all laughing, and Mr. Chase lost his -F. B. CARPENTER, “Six Months in the anxious look. That reminded Mr. Stanton White House.” of the dilemma he had been placed in just before leaving, by the receipt of a telegram When Mr. Lincoln had received tele- from General Mitchell, who was in northern graphic information that firing was heard Alabama. The telegram was indistinct and in the direction of Knoxville, he simply re- could not be clearly understood; there was no marked that he was glad of it. One of his cime to ask for further explanation, and yet | cabinet, who knew the perils of Burnside's an immediate answer was required; so the position, could not see why the president .355 Lincoln OF THE GREAT should be glad of it and so expressed himself. from foot to head, as if contemplating an "Why, you see,” responded Lincoln, “it re immense distance from one extremity to the minds me of Mrs. Sally Ward, a neighbor of other, he stood for a moment speechless. At mine in Illinois, who had a very large fam length, extending his hand, he exclaimed, ily. Occasionally one of her numerous prog "Hello, comrade, do you know when your feet eny would be heard crying in some out of get cold ?”-TARBELL, McClure's Magazine, the way place, upon which Mrs. Sally would June, 1899, citing letter from James C. Burns. exclaim, "There's one of my children that As I arose to go Mr. Lincoln pulled him- isn't dead yet.'”—POORE, “Life of Burnside.” self together up out of the rocking chair, He was sorely tried by McClellan's in into which he had packed himself, and, scan- activity and his letters and despatches were ning me good-naturedly for a moment, said often pathetic. “If you don't intend to use very abruptly, “You never put backs with the army, won't you lend it to me?” “What Sumner, did you?” I suppose I looked as has your cavalry been doing since the battle much surprised as I felt, but I laughed and of Antietam that would fatigue anything?” said that I did not think I had ever done so. -HAUPT. “Well, I supposed not," he said, and then, hesitating a moment, went on, "When he was I explained to him that it was necessary in here I asked him to measure with me and to have a great number of troops to guard do you know he made a little speech about and hold the territory we had captured and it?" I tried to look civilly curious and Mr. to prevent incursions into the Northern Lincoln, with an indescribable glimmer all states. These troops could perform this serv- over his face, continued, "Yes,” he said, “he ice just as well by advancing as by remaining told me he thought this was a time for unit- still; and by advancing they would compel ing our fronts and not our backs before the the enemy to keep detachments to keep them enemies of the country, or something like back, or else lay his own territory open to that. It was very fine. But I reckon the invasion. His answer was, "Oh, yes; I see truth was”-and at this point I was com- that; as we say out west, if a man can't pelled against my wish to laugh out loud—“I skin he must hold a leg while somebody else reckon the truth was-he was afraid to does.”—U. S. GRANT. measure.”—The North American Review, On one occasion President Lincoln, when September, 1879. riding near the Soldiers' Home, said to his In Mr. P. T. Barnum's recently published footman, named Charles Forbes, who had but “Struggles and Triumphs; or, Forty Years' recently come from Ireland, “What kind of Recollections,” he mentions having been in fruit do you have in Ireland, Charles ?" To Washington in 1862, with Commodore Nutt. which Charles replied, "Mr. President, we President Lincoln sent Mr. Barnum an invi- have many good kinds of fruit: gooseberries, | tation to visit the White House and bring pears, apples and the like.” The president his short friend. ... Mr. Lincoln then then asked, “Have you tasted any of our bent down his long, lank body and, taking American fruits ?" Charles said he had not Nutt by the hand, said, “Commodore, permit and the president told Burke, the coachman, me to give you a parting word of advice: to drive under a persimmon tree by the road. | when you are in command of your fleet, if side. Standing up in the open carriage he you find yourself in danger of being taken pulled off some of the green fruit, giving some prisoner, I advise you to wade ashore." The of it to Burke and some of it to Charles, Commodore, placing himself by the side of with advice that the latter try some of it. the president and gradually raising his eyes Charles, taking some of the green fruit in up to the whole length of Mr. Lincoln's long his hand, commenced to eat, when to his as legs, replied, "I guess, Mr. President, you tonishment he found that he could hardly could do that better than I could.”—Harper's open his mouth. Trying his best to spit it Magazine, February, 1870. out he yelled, "Mr. President, I'm poisoned ! Regarding the most widely quoted of the I'm poisoned !” Mr. Lincoln fairly lay back jokes attributed to him, that he proposed to in the carriage and rolled with laughter.- send a barrel of whiskey drank by General PENDEL. Grant to every general in the army, which The Pennsylvanian stood six feet seven | Mr. Brooks claims for him, an old friend of inches in his stockings. Lincoln was six feet / mine, the late Moses F. Odell, once asked four. As the president approached this giant | Lincoln if this joke was his. "No," he said; towering above him, he stopped in amazement "that is too good for me." It is what I and, casting his eyes from head to foot and I should have expected. The best things are Lincoln 356 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES usually anonymous. This particular joke dote illustrates the characters of the two dates back much before Lincoln's day.-| men and Mr. Lincoln's method of dealing NADAL, Scribner's Magazine, March, 1906. | with a dilemma. It is related that a com- Mr. Lincoln was at first somewhat sur: mittee of Western men, headed by Mr. Love- prised at the apparent forwardness of the joy, procured from the president an important order looking to the exchange of Eastern and young woman, but observing her distressed Western soldiers, with a view to more effective appearance he ceased conversation with his friend and commenced an examination of the work. Repairing to the office of the secre- document she had placed in his hands. Glanc- tary, Mr. Lovejoy explained the scheme, as ing from it to the face of the petitioner, he had done before to the president, but was whose tears had broken forth afresh, he stud- met by a flat refusal. "But we have the president's order, sir," said Mr. Lovejoy. ied its expression for a moment, and then his eyes fell upon her scanty but neat dress. “Did Lincoln give you an order of that kind ?” Instantly his face lighted up. “My poor said Stanton. “He did, sir.” “Then he is a girl," he said, "you have come here with no damned fool," said the irate secretary. "Do governor, or senator, or member of Congress you mean to say that the president is a to plead your cause. You seem honest and damned fool ?” said Lovejoy in amazement. truthful; and you don't wear hoops—and “Yes, sir; if he gave such an order as that.” I'll be whipped but I will pardon your The bewildered congressman from Illinois at brother.”—CARPENTER, in Raymond's "Lin. once betook himself to the president and re- coln.” lated the result of the conference. "Did Stan- With His Secretary of War ton say I was a damned fool ?” said Lincoln. "He did, sir, and repeated it.” After a mo- I called upon Mr. Lincoln as soon as it ment's pause, and looking up, the president became known that Stanton had accepted an said, "If Stanton said I was a damned fool, appointment in his cabinet and congratulated then I must be one, for he is nearly always him upon having secured so valuable a coad- right and generally says what he means. I jutor. Mr. Lincoln replied that it was an will step over to see him."-JULIAN, “Rice's experiment which he had made up his mind to Reminiscences." try, and that whenever a Union man was willing to break away from party affiliations On the table near him he kept a pack- and stand by the government in this great age of blank cards, such as one finds on every. struggle, he was resolved to give him an op- hotel counter. On these were written, in portunity and welcome him to the service. lead pencil, some of the most important or- He remarked that he had been warned against ders of the war. Very often he would address this appointment and had been told that it Secretary Stanton with a penciled request, would never do; that “Stanton would run “If the exigencies of the service would per: away with the whole concern and that he mit,” to “let up" on some chaplain, civilian would find that he could do nothing with or soldier who complained of the rough treat- such a man unless he let him have his own ment of the secretary of war. Stanton some- way.” The president then told a story of times granted these requests, but just as a minister out in Illinois who was in the often he would tear up the card in the face habit of going off in such high flights at camp of the applicant and tell him to “go back to meeting that they had to put bricks in his Lincoln and tell him he would be damned if pockets to keep him down. “I may have to he would do it.” For the modern Carnot, in do that with Stanton; but, if I do, bricks in spite of his virtues and solid Presbyterian- his pocket will be better than bricks in his ism, could, when angered, swear like a troop. hat. I'll risk him without either.”—DAWES, er. When Lincoln would be appealed to The Atlantic Monthly, February, 1894. again, he would simply look up, or down, on It has often been asserted that the secre. the victim of Stanton's wrath, and say quiz- tary of war ruled Mr. Lincoln. This is a zically, “Well, I never did have much influ. ence with this administration.”-SCOVEL, mistake. The secretary would frequently overawe and browbeat others, but he was Lippincott's Magazine, August, 1889. never imperious in dealing with the presi At one time there was some official jeal- dent. This I have from Mr. Watson, for ousy between Postmaster General Blair and some time assistant secretary of war, and Secretary Stanton. Markland [A. H.) had Mr. Whiting, while solicitor of the War De been sent to the latter for certain orders re- partment. Lincoln, however, had the high- lating to the postal service within the lines est opinion of Stanton and their relations of the army and Stanton had declined to issue were always most kindly. The following anec- l them, "to accommodate Mr. Blair," who pro- 357 Lincoln OF THE GREAT ceeded to write a letter to the president, call. Lincoln. “Stanton.” The door was opened ing his attention to the situation. Mark and Mr. Lincoln appeared with a light in his land was the messenger to bear the communi. hand and peered through the crack of the cation and he tells me: “When I delivered the door, "in the shortest nightgown and longest letter Mr. Lincoln read it carefully and hand legs," as Stanton said, he ever saw on a ed it back to me saying, 'What is the matter | human being. Before Stanton, who was out between Blair and Stanton ? I told him all of breath, could say a word, the president, I knew in reference to the proposed orders. who had caught with unerring instinct the He then said, 'If I understand the case, Gen expression of his face, gave a shout of exul- eral Grant wants the orders issued, and you tation, grabbed him with both arms around want them issued, and Stanton won't issue | the waist and danced him around the cham- them. Now don't you see what kind of a fix ber until they were both exhausted. They I will be in if I interfere? I'll tell you what then sat down upon a trunk and the presi- to do: if you and General Grant understand dent, who was still in his nightdress, read one another, suppose you try to get along over and over again the telegram and then without the orders and if Blair or Stanton discussed with him the probabilities of the makes a fuss I may be called in as a referee future and the results of the victory until and I may decide in your favor.' The orders day dawned.-BRANDEGEE, New York Tribune, were never issued and pleasant relations were | January 23, 1887. maintained all around.”—Magazine of Amer- A quartermaster from one of the regi- ican History, April, 1891. ments of my own state had been caught in A gentleman called upon Mr. Lincoln one of the dens of Washington gambling with seeking a pardon for a young surgeon in the the government money and had been sentenced Confederate service who had passed clandes- to five years' imprisonment in the Albany tinely through the Union lines under mitigat- penitentiary. I had received a petition to ing circumstances but had been arrested, the president, signed by many leading citizens tried, convicted and sentenced to confinement in the neighborhood of the offender's home, during the war. After hearing the case the endorsed and certified to by the physician president said: "I cannot interfere; I must of the penitentiary, and also by a leading not offend Secretary - " "That cannot physician of my own town, asking for his happen," said the petitioner; “Secretary - pardon on the ground of failing health, and has not been requested to give the pardon; I representing him to be in a sad condition of have preferred to make application to the decline, with every prospect of a speedy death president, who listens patiently, which Secre- | unless released. I took this petition to Mr. tary — will not always do.” “Perhaps," Lincoln, who, after carefully reading it, said Mr. Lincoln, “there is that difference turned to me and said, “Do you believe that between the secretary and myself, and it re statement?” “Certainly I do, Mr. President, calls a story told to me by Swett, of Maine: or I should not have brought it to you." A man in his neighborhood had a small bull “Please say so here on the back under these terrier that could whip all the dogs of the doctors." I did as requested, adding, “and neighborhood. The owner of a large dog because I believe it to be true I join in this which the terrier had whipped asked the petition." As I signed my name he remarked, owner of the terrier how it happened that the “We can't permit that man to die after that terrier whipped every dog he encountered. statement," and immediately wrote under it "That,' said the owner of the terrier, 'is no all, “Let this man be discharged. A. L.” mystery to me; your dogs and other dogs He handed the paper back to me and told me get half through a fight before they are ready; to take it to the War Office and give it to my dog is always mad.'”—Harper's Maga- Mr. Stanton. He saw at once something in zine, March, 1868. my countenance which led him to think I had Stanton then related the following: Mr. already encountered some rough weather in Lincoln had been exceedingly solicitous about that quarter and had little relish for more. the result of that battle (Gettysburg). ... lle took back the paper and, smiling, re- At last, towards midnight, came the electric marked that he was going over there pretty flash of the great victory that saved the soon and would take it himself. The next Union. Stanton seized the despatch and ran day, on going to the House, I was met by two as fast as he could to the executive mansion, Michigan representatives with the inquiry, up the stairs and knocked at the room where "What have you been doing at the White the president was catching a fitful slumber. House? We went up to get a poor Michigan “Who is there?” he heard in the voice of Mr. I soldier pardoned who had been sentenced to Lincoln 358 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES be shot for desertion, but we couldn't do any- | out his revolver and attempted to kill Rus- thing with the president. lle told us that sell, who aimed his rifle at the captain's head. you were there yesterday and got him to par They were separated. The captain preferred don a man out of the penitentiary and when charges of insubordination against the sol- he took the paper to Stanton he woulln't dis- dier and a subservient court martial prompt- charge him and told me,' said the president, ly sentenced Russell to be shot and did not 'that it was a sham and that Dawes had got even censure the cowardly oflicer. Congress- him to pardon the biggest rascal in the army | man Dennison has just given me all the facts and that I had made gambling with public in the case and I have just made the poor funds perfectly safe. I couldn't get him to mother happy by saving the boy.” And with let the man off. The truth is that I have compressed lips, he went on: “And I did been doing so much of this thing lately that more; I dismissed the cowardly captair from I have lost all influence with this administra the army."-SCOVEL, Lippincott's Magazine, tion and have got to stop.?” I went imme August, 1889. diately to the White House, with my hair on I heard a conversation between Lincoln end, but was greeted by the president in the and Stanton in relation to the selection of mildest manner and with a look which told brigadier-generals. The many applications me that he knew my errand. Indeed, his face and recommendations were examined and dis- was always a title-page. I said to him that cussed. Lincoln finally said, “Well, Mr. Sec. I understood he had had some trouble with retary, I concur in pretty much all you say. the pardon of the day before and inquired The only point I make is, there has got to if it had gone out. He replied that it had be something done that will unquestionably not and then recounted, in his quaint way, be in the interest of the Dutch, and to that the scene in the War Office, much as it had end I want Schemmelfinnig appointed." already been repeated to me. I said to him The secretary replied, “Vír. President, per- that I could not afford to let this matter haps this Schemmel--what's-his-name is not rest on any uncertainty. “Retain this par. as highly recommended as some other German don, send a messenger to Albany and make oflicer." "No matter about that,” said Lin- certain of the truth or falsity of this state- coln; "his name will make up for any differ- ment--at my expense if we have been im- ence there may be, and I'll take the risk of posed upon.” Ilis reply was, “I think, if his coming out all right.”-JAMES B. Fry, you believe it, I will. At any rate, I will “Rice's Reminiscences.” take the risk on the side of mercy.” So the pardon went out. And yet the sequel showed To Abraham Lincoln, Artemus Ward's that Mr. Stanton was the nearest right of book was a never-failing fountain of fun. Of the three; for, on my return to Massachusetts, the quaint spelling and side-splitting jokes at the adjournment of Congress, almost the in A. Ward's compendium of humor the president liked to talk with the grave Stan- first man who greeted me on the street was this same "dying" quartermaster, apparently ton, to whom fun was a mere waste of raw as hale and robust as the people around him. material. On a certain Sunday, always Lin- -DAWES, The Atlantic Monthly, February, coln's day for relaxation, he said, “Stanton, 1894. I find a heap of fun in A. Ward's book.” “Yes,” said Stanton drily, “but what do you The president said, “I have done some think of that chapter where he makes fun thing this morning which has roused the ire of you ?” Mr. Lincoln quickly replied, of Secretary Stanton.” I expressed a desire “Stanton, to save my life I could never see to know what it was. He continued: “Con- any humor in that chapter."--SCOVEL, Lip- gressman Dennison, of Pennsylvania, came to pincott's Magazine, August, 1889. me this morning with the mother of John It was a pretty solemn occasion because Russell, a soldier who was to be shot within on the decision of this election (1864) hung forty-eight hours for insubordination and I the question whether we were there or were gave a peremptory order pardoning the sol- not there. The president looked over to me dier and restoring him to his regiment. At and said, “Did you ever read anything of a recent battle, in the face of the enemy, Petroleum V. Nasby?” I answered, “Yes." John Russell's captain ran away. When the “Well," he said, "I want to read you some- battle was over, in which half the command thing." So he began to read just loud enough were lost, this soldier met his captain, and, | for me to hear. Nir. Stanton couldn't stand walking up to him, rifle in hand, said, 'Cap this. He got up and went off into the tele. tain, you're a damned coward, and ought to graph room that was just alongside. Pres- be shot for cowardice.' The captain pulled ently he opened the door and called to me: 359 Lincoln OF THE GREAT “I have got something for you.” So I went sider Mr. Taylor's proposition. We must into the telegraph office. I found that he have money and I think this is a good way hadn't any work for me. He simply wanted to get it. A. Lincoln.” Armed with this, the to objurgate the man who could sit down at real father of the greenbacks again sought such a time and read such silly, stupid stuff the secretary. He was received more politely as that. But that constant humor that Mr. than before, but was cut short in his advocacy Lincoln infused into anything was really of the measure by a proposition for both of what saved him and brought him through the them to see the president. They did so and whole of this immense suffering and struggle Mr. Chase made a long and elaborate con- in good health and spirits at last.-DANA. stitutional argument against the proposed measure. "Chase," said Lincoln, after the With the Politicians secretary had concluded, "down in Illinois I The idea of issuing money directly by was held to be a pretty good lawyer and I the government to meet an emergency was as believe I could answer every point you made, old as governments themselves. But Amasa but I don't feel called upon to do it. This Walker, a distinguished financier of New Eng. thing reminds me of a story I read in a land, had a thought that was new. He sug. newspaper the other day. It was of an Ital- gested that the notes thus issued directly ian captain who ran his vessel on a rock and from the government to the people, as cur knocked a hole in her bottom. He set his rency, should bear interest. This for the pur- | men to pumping and he went to prayers be- pose not only of making the notes popular, fore a figure of the Virgin in the bow of the but for the purpose of preventing inflation ship. The leak inn on them. It looked by inducing people to hoard the notes as an at last as if the vessel would go down with investment when the demands of trade failed all on board. The captain, at length, in a to call them into circulation as currency. | fit of rage at not having his prayers an- This idea struck Mr. David Taylor, of Ohio, swered, seized the figure of the Virgin and with such force that he sought Mr. Lincoln threw it overboard. Suddenly the leak and urged him to put the project into imme stopped, the water was pumped out and the diate execution. The president listened pa- vessel got safely into port. When docked for tiently and at the end said: "That is a good repairs the statue of the Virgin Mary was idea, Taylor, but you must go to Chase. lle found stuck head foremost in the hole.” “I is running that end of the machine and has I don't see. Mr. President, the precise applica- to consider your proposition.” Taylor sought | tion of your story," said Mr. Chase. “Why, the secretary of the treasury and laid before Chase, I don't intend precisely to throw the him Amasa Walker's plan. Chase heard him | Virgin Mary overboard, and by that I mean through in a cold, unpleasant manner and the constitution, but I will stick it in the then said: “That is all very well, Mr. Taylor, I hole if I can. These rebels are violating the but there is one little obstacle in the way constitution in order to destroy the union; that makes the plan impracticable, and that I will violate the constitution, if necessary, is the constitution.” Saving this he turned to save the union; and, I suspect, Chase, that to his desk as if dismissing both Mr. Taylor our constitution is going to have a rough and his proposition at the same moment. The time of it before we get done with this row. poor enthusiast felt rebuked and humiliated. Now, what I want to know, constitution aside, He returned to the president, however, and is this project of issuing interest-bearing reported his defeat. Mr. Lincoln looked at notes a good one?” “I must say," respond- the would-be financier with the expression at ed Mr. Chase, “that with the exception you times peculiar to his homely face that left one make it is not only a good one, but the only in doubt as to whether he was jesting or in way open to us to raise money. If you say earnest. “Tavlor," said he, “go back to Chase so I will do my best to put it into immediate and tell him not to bother himself about the and practical operation and you will never constitution. Say that I have that sacred hear from any opposition to this project.” instrument here at the White House and I The people eagerly accepted the loan, which am guarding it with great care." Mr. David the capitalists were prompt to depreciate and Taylor demurred to this, on the ground that dishonor.—PIATT, The North American Re- Mr. Chase showed by his manner that he view, December, 1886. knew all about it and didn't wish to be bored with any suggestion. "We'll see about A distinguished public officer, being in that,” exclaimed the president and, taking a Washington, in an interview with the presi- card from the table, he wrote upon it: "The dent, introduced the question of emancipa- Secretary of the Treasury will please con- ' tion. “Well, you see," said Mr. Lincoln, Lincoln 360 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES "we've got to be very cautious how we man- sovereigns, and also to President Lincoln, an- age the negro question. If we're not we nouncing the fact. Lord Lyons, her ambassa- shall be like the barber out in Illinois, who dor at Washington, a bachelor by the way, re- was shaving a fellow with a hatchet face quested an audience of Mr. Lincoln, that he and lantern jaws like mine. The barber might present this important document in stuck his finger into his customer's mouth to person. At the time appointed he was re- make his cheek stick out, but while shaving ceived at the White House, in company with away he cut through the fellow's cheek and Mr. Seward. "May it please your excellency," cut off his own finger. If we are not very said Lord Lyons, “I hold in my hand an auto- careful, we shall do as the barber did.”—CAR graph letter from my royal mistress, Queen PENTER, in Raymond's “Lincoln.” Victoria, which I have been commanded to A correspondent of the Cincinnati Ga- present to your excellency. In it she informs your excellency that her son, his royal high- zette, writing reminiscences of Sherman's cam- paign in North Carolina, is responsible for ness the Prince of Wales, is about to con- the following: General Sherman complained tract a matrimonial alliance with her royal highness the Princess Alexandra of Denmark.” that the government had never distinctly ex- plained to him what policy it desired to have After continuing in this strain for a few pursued. "I asked Mr. Lincoln explicitly, minutes, Lord Lyons tendered the letter to the president and awaited his reply. It was when we were at City Point, whether he short, simple and expressive and consisted wanted me to capture Jeff Davis or let him simply of the words, “Lord Lyons, go thou escape, and in reply he told me a story. That and do likewise." It is doubtful whether an story may now have a historical value and I give it as General Sherman said Mr. English ambassador was ever addressed in this manner before, and it would be inter- Lincoln told it-only premising that it was esting to learn what success he met with in a favorite story with Mr. Lincoln, which he told many times and in illustration of many putting the reply in diplomatic language | when he reported it to her majesty.-F. B. points of public policy. “I'll tell you, gen- CARPENTER. eral,” Mr. Lincoln is said to have begun. “I'll tell you what I think of taking Jeff One of Mr. Lincoln's Springfield neigh- Davis. Out in Sangamon county there was bors, a clergyman, visiting Washington early an old temperance lecturer who was very in the administration, asked the president strict in the doctrine and practise of total what was to be his policy on the slavery ques- abstinence. One day, after a long ride in tion. “Well,” said he, “I will answer by the hot sun, he stopped at the house of a telling you a story. You know Father B., friend, who proposed making him a lemon the old Methodist preacher, and you know Fox ade. As the mild beverage was being mixed river and its freshets. Well, once in the the friend insinuatingly asked if he wouldn't presence of Father B., a young Methodist was like a drop of something stronger to brace worrying about Fox river and expressing up his nerves after the exhausting heat and fears that he should be prevented from ful- exercise. No,' replied the lecturer, 'I filling some of his appointments by a freshet couldn't think of it; I'm opposed to it on in the river. Father B. checked him in his principle; but,' he added with a longing gravest manner. Said he, 'Young man, I have glance at the black bottle that stood con always made it a rule in my life not to veniently at hand, ‘if you could manage to cross Fox river until I get to it.' And," put in a drop unbeknownst to me, I guess it | added Mr. Lincoln, “I am not going to worry wouldn't hurt me much. Now, general," myself about the slavery question till I get Mr. Lincoln is said to have concluded, "I am to it.”-F. B. CARPENTER. bound to oppose the escape of Jeff Davis; On one occasion, when a senator of very but if you could manage to let him slip out decided opinions was in consultation with unbeknownst like, I guess it wouldn't hurt me the chief magistrate, the latter said, concern- much.” “And that,” exclaimed General Sher- ing some proposition, "But will Kentucky man, “is all I could get out of the govern- stand that?" "Damn Kentucky,” exclaimed ment as to what its policy was concerning the senator. “Then damn you,” cried Mr. the rebel leaders until Stanton assailed me Lincoln with some warmth. But, much as he for Davis's escape.”—Harper's Magazine, loved his native state, there were points on September, 1865. which he would "put his foot down” even to Upon the betrothal of the Prince of | her. A Kentuckian, wishing some govern- Wales to the Princess Alexandra, Queen Vic- | ment aid in recovering some of his slaves, es- toria sent a letter to each of the European 'caped and escaping, "reminded him," he said, BULLET 361 Lincoln OF THE GREAT "of a little story. When I was going down pose of the disturber of their melon patch. the Ohio once on a steamer, a little boy came They followed the tracks to a neighboring up to the captain and said, 'Captain, please creek, where they disappeared. They dis- stop the boat; I've lost my apple overboard.'” covered them on the opposite bank and waded -CONWAY, The Fortnightly Review, May 15, through. They kept on the trail a couple of 1865. hundred yards when the tracks again went The next day Dana had an interesting into the creek, but promptly turned upon interview with Lincoln at the White House, the other side. Once more the hunters in regard to the arrest of Jacob Thompson, a buffeted the mud and water and again struck Confederate commissioner, who was trying to the lead and pushed on a few furlongs, when make his way from Canada through Maine the tracks made another drive into the creek. to Europe. Stanton thought he ought to be Out of breath and patience, the farmer said, caught, but sent Dana to refer the matter 'John, you cross over and go up on that side to the president. As soon as the latter under- and I'll keep on this side, for I believe the stood the question to be answered, he said, old fellow is on both sides.' Gentlemen," "No; I rather think not. When you have concluded Mr. Lincoln, “that is just where I got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is stand in regard to your controversies in St. trying to run away, it's best to let him run.” Louis. I am on both sides. I can't allow --WILSON. my generals to run the churches and I can't allow your ministers to preach rebellion. Go In my interview with him the name came home, preach the gospel, stand by the Union up of a recently deceased politician of Illi- nois whose undeniable merit was blemished and don't disturb the government any more by an overweening vanity. His funeral was with any of your petty quarrels."-STANTON. very largely attended. "If,” said Mr. Lincoln, When a revolt took place in the early “General - had known how big a funeral part of the rebellion and General William he would have had, he would have died years Tecumseh Sherman subdued it, one of the offi- ago.”—LOCKE. cers complained to President Lincoln that the general had been very severe in his lan- Dealing With Critics guage and had said, if a similar disorder took My brother, Rev. R. L. Stanton, D.D., place again, one of the old regiments should was a leader in the Presbyterian church, and fire on the regiment of recruits that was so a warm friend of Mr. Lincoln during the disorderly. The officer asked Lincoln whether war. In the great struggle he was aggres- he did not think that was severe. “Well,” sively on the side of the Union and in favor | said Mr. Lincoln, "don't trust those Sher- of the emancipation policy of Mr. Lincoln. mans; they are apt to do just as they say In 1862-3, the Rev. Dr. McPheeters, a promi- they will.”—POORE, “Life and Public Serv. nent Presbyterian, was preaching at St. ices of John Sherman." Louis. Major-General Curtis commanded in It was at the time when the emancipa- that military department. One day Dr. Mc-| tion of the negroes was under heated discus- Pheeters uttered some sentiments that were sion. Lincoln was being pressed by the radi. deemed disloyal. The next Sunday Dr. Mc cals on the one hand, demanding immediate Pheeters found the doors of the church closed emancipation, and by the border statesmen by order of General Curtis. There was imme on the other, who insisted that such action diate trouble, not alone in St. Louis, but in would throw their states into the arms of the Washington. A committee, composed of both confederacy. . . . During this period the factions, went to see the president. Finding president received one day a visit from a Dr. Stanton in Washington, they requested delegation of border state representatives, him to go with them to the White House and who urged their case with passionate ear- present them to Mr. Lincoln. The president nestness. ... "I have just received a visit listened patiently and then spoke as follows: this morning," he added, "from Senator Sum- "I can best illustrate my position in regard ner, Senator Wade and Mr. Stephens, the to your St. Louis quarrel by telling a story. leaders of the Senate and the House, who as- A man in Illinois had a watermelon patch sure me that unless the abolition of slavery on which he hoped to make money enough to is made clear these great states will refuse carry him over the year. A big hog broke further troops and money for the war. And, through the log fence nearly every night and what is more, they are coming back at one the melons were gradually disappearing. At o'clock to get my answer.” And then, as a length the farmer told his son John to get smile broke over his careworn face, he con. out the guns and they would promptly dis. Itinued, "My situation reminds me of an inci. Lincoln 362 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES dent in my own short experience in school." | upon I told him that I had been in Washing- And here followed a delightful description ton some ten days or more and that every- of a primitive Indiana or Kentucky school body seemed to be against him. “Well, it is with its one room, its split puncheons for not quite so bad as that,” he said. He took seats and its modest equipment for teaching. down his directory and I soon discovered that "There were few books among the pioneer he had a far more intimate knowledge of the families of those days," continued the presi- | situation than I had. He had every one dent; "the one book which every family pos- | marked, knew how he stood, and the list made sessed was the Bible and it was commonly a better showing than I expected. ... lle used as a school reader. The class stood was reminded of a little story. A couple of up in line before the teacher and, beginning Irishmen came to America and started out with some chapter, each scholar in turn read on foot into the country. They traveled a verse. The boys very soon learned to count along until they came to a piece of woods. the number standing in line and then from They thought they heard a noise, but did not the numbered verses to prepare themselves know what it was. They deployed on either on the verses coming to them on the second side of the road to find out but were unable reading and by this means to make a better to do so, and finally one called to the other: showing. On one occasion we read the chap "Pat, Pat, let's go on; this is nothing but a ter which tells of the Hebrew children and domned noise.” So the opposition to him, their adventures in the fiery furnace. It so he said, was apparently nothing but a noise. happened that the verse containing the three -CULLOM. hard names-Shadrach, Meshach and Abed- President Lincoln replied to a deputa- nego-came to a boy larger than the others, tion, one of many who called to urge imme- but backward and shy. He made sorry work diate slave emancipation when the proposition of the three Hebrew children, but finally was not yet framed as a bill: "If I issue a floundered through, to the relief of everybody, proclamation now, as you suggest, it will be and the reading continued. His turn to read ... ineffectual. ... It cannot be en- had almost come around again when, to the forced. Now, by way of illustration, how astonishment of the teacher and pupils, he many legs will a sheep have if you call his burst out into sobs. “Why, Sammy,” in- tail a leg?” They all answered, "Five." "You quired the teacher, “what is the matter?” are mistaken,” said Lincoln; “for calling a “Well,” sobbed Sammy, digging his fists into tail a leg does not make it one.”—WILLIAMS. his eyes and glancing sidelong at the books, "them three blamed fools is coming around Although the friendly relations which ex- to me again." And with this the conference | isted between the president and Secretary ended, leaving the matter in statu quo, which Cameron were not interrupted by the retire- was exactly what the story was intended to ment of the latter from the War Office, so im- accomplish. The emancipation proclamation portant a change in the administration could was at the moment lying on the president's of course not take place without the irrepres- desk awaiting a victory of the Union arms to sible story from Mr. Lincoln. Shortly after furnish a fit occasion for its announcement. this event some gentlemen called upon the Antietam set it free.--PRITCHETT, Scribner's president and, expressing much satisfaction Magazine, January, 1914. at the change, intimated that in their judg- ment the interests of the country required an The gossip around the capitol in Wash- entire reconstruction of the cabinet. Mr. ington among the senators and representa Lincoln heard them through and then, shak- tives is a very poor gage of public sentiment ing his head dubiously, replied, with his pe in the country toward a president. I was in culiar smile: “Gentlemen, when I was a young Washington a few months before the second man I used to know very well one Joe Wil- nomination. I talked with numerous sena son, who built himself a log cabin not far tors and representatives and it really seemed from where I lived. Joe was very fond of to me as if there was hardly any one in eggs and chickens and he took a good deal favor of the renomination of Mr. Lincoln. I of pains in fitting up a poultry shed. Having felt much discouraged over the circumstance. at length got together a choice lot of young When I was about to leave for home I called fowls of which he was very proud, he began at the White House. I asked the president to be much annoyed by the depredations of whether he permitted anybody to talk to him those little black and white animals, which about himself. He replied that he did. I it is not necessary to name. One night Joe said, "I would like to talk to you about | was awakened by an unusual cackling and yourself.” He asked me to be seated. Where- fluttering among his chickens. Getting up, 363 Lincoln OF THE GREAT he crept out to see what was going on. It A foreign nobleman sought my interces- was a bright, moonlight night, and he soon sion of whose genuineness I soon became caught sight of half a dozen of the little fully convinced. He was a young German pests, which with their dam were running count whose identity was vouched for by a in and out of the shadow of the shed. Very member of the Prussian legation. Moreover, wrathy, Joe put a double charge into his old there were no smartnesses at all in his talk. musket and thought he would clean out the He had a long row of ancestors, whom he whole tribe at one shot. Somehow he killed traced back for several hundred years. He only one and the balance scampered off across was greatly impressed with the importance the field. In telling the story Joe would al of this fact and thought it would weigh heav- ways pause here and hold his nose. Why ily in securing him a position in our army. didn't you follow them up and kill the rest? | If he could only have an "audience with the inquired the neighbors. “Blast it,' said Joe, president and lay his case before him, he be- 'it was eleven weeks before I got over killing lieved the result could not be doubtful. He one. If you want any more skirmishing in pursued me so arduously for a personal intro- that line you can just do it yourselves.'" duction to Mr. Lincoln, that at last I suc- F. B. CARPENTER. cumbed and promised to introduce him if the president permitted. The president did per- And here is the first record of a famous mit. The count spoke English moderately saying: The president to-night [December 23, well and in his ingenuous way at once ex- 1863) had a dream. He was in a party of plained to Mr. Lincoln how high the nobility plain people and, as it became known who he of his family was and that they had been was, they began to comment on his appear- counts so and so many centuries. “Well,” ance. One of them said, “Ile is a very com- said Mr. Lincoln, interrupting him, "that need mon-looking man.” The president replied, not trouble you. That will not be in your "The Lord prefers common-looking people. way, if you behave yourself as a soldier." That is the reason lle makes so many of The poor count looked puzzled and when the them.”-WILLIAM Roscoe THAYER, "The Life audience was over he asked me what in the of John Hay.” world the president could have meant by so strange a remark.-SCHURZ. With Seekers for Office General Sherman, who like Cesar in this Physically, as every one knows, Mr. Lin- coln was not a prepossessing man, with and other respects, enjoys a joke even at his scarcely a redeeming feature, save his be- own expense, relates a story. Soon after the nignant eye, whicli was the very symbol of battle of Shiloh the president promoted two human kindness. “If I have one vice,” officers to major-generalships. A good deal he said to me one morning, "and I can call of dissatisfaction was expressed at the act. it nothing else, it is not to be able to say 'No.' Among other critics of the president was Thank God," he continued, "for not making General Sherman himself, who telegraphed to me a woman, but if He had, I suppose He Washington that, if such ill-advised promo- would have made me just as ugly as He did, tions continued, the best chance for officers and no one would ever have tempted me. It would be to be transferred from the front to was only the other day a poor parson whom the rear. This telegram was shown to the I knew some years in Joliet came to the president. He immediately replied by tele- White House with a sad story of his pov- graph to the general, that, in the matter of erty and his large family-poor parsons seem appointments, he was necessarily guided by always to have large families--and he wanted officers whose opinions and knowledge he val. me to do something for him. I knew very ued and respected. "The two appointments," well that I could do nothing for him, and he added, “referred to by you in your despatch yet I could not bear to tell him so, and so I were made at the suggestion of two men said I would see what I could do. The very whose advice and character I prize most high next day the man came back for the oflice ly. I refer to Generals Grant and Sherman." which he said I had promised him-which General Sherman then recalled the fact that, was not true, but he seemed really to believe in the flush of victory, General Grant and it. Of course there was nothing left for me himself had both recommended these promo to do except to get him a place through one tions, but that it had escaped his memory at of the secretaries. But if I had done my duty the time of writing the telegraphic despatch. | I should have said No' in the beginning.”— The oddity of Lincoln's reply is characteris- | EGBERT L. VIELE, Scribner's Monthly, Octo- tic.-RICE. ber, 1878. Lincoln 364 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES On Sunday evening Senator Dixon, with “This reminds me of a little story. It was in whom I was on terms of intimacy, came to the Mexican war-at the battle of Monterey, my rooms with the announcement that the I believe—that a little Irish captain from United States Marshal for Connecticut was Sangamon county was ordered by his colonel dead and urged me to join with him in the to a position, so and so, with his company. recommendation of a gentleman who lived After hearing the order the little captain in the country town in my district and to straightened up full height and said, 'Col- whom he was under obligations for political onel, will yez be so kind as to tell that to my favors. ... I was put forward to state min yourself; for, be jabers, colonel, I'm not the case and urged it with all the arguments on speaking terms with my company.'” It is I could muster. Mr. Lincoln listened with a perhaps needless to add that the gallant colo- half-serious, half-comic expression, asked some nel was, shortly after this interview with pointed questions which showed that he took the good-natured president, placed in a more in the full inwardness of the situation and, exalted sphere of usefulness.-Harper's Maga- when I had concluded, said, “You remind me zine, September, 1866. of a young lawyer in Sangamon county who had hung out his shingle for a long time Mr. Lincoln, whose boundless humor was without having a client. At last he got one, a tonic as well as an armor, once asked but feeling very anxious not to lose his first Surgeon-General Barnes where he could get case he thought he would go down and state the smallpox. “For then," said he, "I shall it to the justice who was to try it and ascer- have something I can give to everybody.”— tain in advance what he thought of it. So CURTIS, Lippincott's Magazine, February, he went down one Sunday evening and stat- 1887. ed it for all he was worth and concluded by asking the justice how he would decide it. OTHER STORIES TOLD BY LINCOLN 'As you state the case,' replied the justice, I I laid a plan before Mr. Lincoln and Mr. should be obliged to decide against you. But Fessenden to save the cotton of Montgomery. you had better bring the case. Probably They both favored my plan and at once gave the other side will make so much worse a me every facility to prosecute it successfully. showing that I shall decide the case in your My idea appealed especially to Mr. Lincoln, favor.'” There did not seem to be much who had always been in favor of drawing all for Dixon and myself to say after this, and the cotton out of the Confederacy. The presi- so, as soon as we fairly could, we retired in dent was forever illustrating his theories by good order.-BRANDEGEE, New York Tribune, telling some funny story, as he did in this January 23, 1887. case. Said Mr. Lincoln: The Confederacy is It was in the summer of 1861, a short like Bill Sikes's dog. Old Bill Sikes had a time after the Bull Run defeat, that com- yellow dog, a worthless cur. His strong hold plaint was made to Governor R- con- was to run out and bark at passersby and cerning the conduct of Colonel — of the scare horses and children. The boys in the - Regiment, Wisconsin Volunteers. The neighborhood decided to have some fun with colonel was a prominent man, a Democrat, the no account canine brute. They procured and the governor was disposed in military a small stick of giant powder, inserted a cap affairs to act impartially; but how to have and fuse into it, wrapped a piece of meat the colonel transferred or “let down easy," around it, lit the fuse, laid the little joker so that no disturbance, political or other- on the sidewalk, whistled and climbed the wise, should arise to vex him, was the ques. fence to see the fun. Out comes the dog with tion. Finally it was resolved that the matter his usual "wow, wow." He scented the meat should be left with President Lincoln. So and bolted the bundle. In a few seconds there Judge 0 was requested by the governor was a terrible explosion. Dog meat was fly- to go to Washington and have “matters ing in all directions. Out came Sikes from fixed.” Accordingly the judge and Senator the house, bareheaded. “What in hell's up?” D— called at the White House and stated yelled Old Bill. “Why, the dog's up,” cried the case to Mr. Lincoln, and recommended the boys on the fence. While Old Bill was that the colonel be put upon some general's gazing around in wonderment, something staff, where he could be more useful than in dropped at his feet. He picked it up and the position he then occupied, and so "let found that it was his dog's tail. While look- him down easy." Mr. Lincoln inquired if | ing sorrowfully at the appendage of his de- the colonel knew anything of the plan and, parted friend, he exclaimed, “Well, I'll be upon being answered in the negative, said: | damned if I think Tige'll amount to much 365 Lincoln OF THE GREAT after this as a dog." And so it would be war, it will be remembered that he issued a with the Confederacy. Take all the cotton proclamation, somewhat bombastic in tone, away from them and it wouldn't amount to freeing the slaves. To the surprise of many shucks. It would fry all the fat out of them. people, on both sides, the president took no -FLOYD, McClure's Afagazine, January, 1908. official notice of this movement. Some time “There was a boy in Springfield,” said had elapsed when, one day, a friend took him Mr. Lincoln, “who saved up his money and to task for his seeming indifference on so im- bought a coon, which, after the novelty wore portant a matter. “Well," said Mr. Lincoln, off, became a great nuisance. He was one “I feel about that a good deal as a man whom day leading him through the streets and had I will call Jones, whom I once knew, did his hands full to keep clear of the little about his wife. He was one of your meek vixen, who had torn his clothes half off him. men and had the reputation of being badly At length he sat down on the curbstone, com- henpecked. At last one day his wife was pletely fagged out. A man passing was seen switching him out of the house. A day stopped by the lad's disconsolate appearance or so afterwards a friend met him in the and asked the matter. "Oh,' was the reply, street and said, 'Jones, I have always stood 'this coon is such a trouble to me.' "Why up for you, as you know, but I am not going don't you try to get rid of him then?' said to do it any longer. Any man who will stand the gentleman. Ilush,' said the boy, 'don't quietly and take a switching from his wife, you see he is trying to gnaw his rope off? I deserves to be horsewhipped.' Jones looked am going to let him do it and then I will go up with a wink, patting his friend on the back. Now, don't,' said he, 'why, it didn't home and tell the folks that he got away from me.'” hurt me any and you've no idea of the power of good it did Sarah Ann.'"-F. B. CARPEN- One of the last stories I heard from Mr. TER. Lincoln was concerning John Tyler, for whom it was to be expected, as an old Henry Clay The president admitted that the blacks Whig, he would entertain no great respect. had received but little political or parlia- mentary training, yet he had known instances “A year or two after Tyler's accession to the presidency,” said he, "contemplating an ex- going to show that they were by nature cursion in some direction, his son went to singularly acute and logical reasoners. "In- order a special train of cars. It so happened deed," added he, “when I was a small boy, that the railroad superintendent was a very living in Kentucky, some of the more intelli- strong Whig. On Bob's making known his gent slaves in our neighborhood started a sort of dialectic association for debating errand, that official bluntly informed him that his road did not run any special trains questions of interest to them; and I once at- for the president. “What,' said Bob, did you tended one of their periodical meetings, upon not furnish a special train for the funeral of which occasion the following was enunciated General Harrison ?' 'Yes,' said the superin- as the subject for discussion: 'If a certain hen tendent, stroking his whiskers, (and if you lays ten eggs, and a different hen sits upon will only bring your father here in that them and hatches out these eggs, which of the shape, you shall have the best train on the two fowls is entitled to the maternity of the chickens?' The meeting was duly organized and the subject most thoroughly canvassed He told this story: A traveler on the in all its imaginable phases and bearings, frontier found himself out of his reckoning until the pros and cons had been pretty well one night in a most inhospitable region. A exhausted, and the presiding officer was about terrific thunder-storm came up, to add to his rendering his decision upon the merits of the trouble. He floundered along until his horse argument, when an antiquated individual finally gave out. The lightning afforded him who was seated upon a barrel in a remote the only clue to his way, but the peals of corner of the apartment suddenly rose to his thunder were frightful. One bolt, which feet and, in a tremulous and cracked but seemed to crash the earth beneath him, ludicrously solemn intonation of voice, pro- brought him to his knees. By no means a pounded the following startling interroga- praying man, his petition was short and to tory: ‘But, Mis'er President, sposin' dem eggs the point: “Oh, Lord, if it's all the same to what dat dar ole hen lay, the obdentical eggs you, give us a little more light and a little what dat dar udder hen she hatch out, be less noise." duck eggs? Den dis nigger is like fer to When General Phelps took possession of know, if the cha'r please, who am de mudder Ship Island, near New Orleans, early in the l ob de chickens?' This at first seemed a poser road.'» Lincoln Louis I. 366 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to the umpire, but after a moment's hesita- turned Mr. Lincoln, “I think you are rather tion he replied: 'Dat wenerable pusson, my too hard on - Besides, I must tell you 'tickler fren Mis'r Jeemes, will please for to that he did me a good turn not long ago. presume his barrel, as de duck eggs am not in When I took to the law I was going to court the question for dis ebening.' He then con one morning, with some ten or twelve miles cluded in the following words: 'De pedigree of bad road before me, when - overtook ob de fowl specie am ginerally monstrous on me in his wagon. 'Hello, Lincoln,' said he, certain, and the tickler birds what the s’iety 'going to the court house? Come in and I been 'cussin' on dis kashun am periently more will give you a seat.' Well, I got in and — onsartiner nur de ginerality of de hen genus. went on reading his papers. Presently the Mebbe dis 'ere chicken got ten fadders; den, wagon struck a stump on one side of the agin, mebbe, he ain't got but one; but dat road; then it hopped off to the other. I he had two mudders am, in the pinion ob dis looked out and saw the driver was jerking char, sartin sure.'”—Harper's Magazine, from side to side in his seat: so I said, May, 1874. ‘Judge, I think your driver has been taking The story I do remember hearing him tell a drop too much this morning.' 'Well, I de- my father that day was about Jocko. Jocko clare, Lincoln,' said he, 'I should not much was the commander of an army of monkeys wonder if you are right, for he has nearly during a monkey war, and he was always upset me half a dozen times since starting.' sure that if his tail were a little longer he So, putting his head out of the window, he could end the monkey war. So he kept ask- shouted, Why, you infernal scoundrel, you ing the authorities of the monkey republic are drunk.' Upon which, pulling up his horses for more of a tail. They got other monkey and turning around with great gravity, the tails and spliced them on to his. IIis spliced coachman said, 'Bedad, but that's the first tail got too long to drag after him and they rightful decision your honor has given for wound it around his body. Still he wanted the last twelve months.'”—F. B. CARPENTER, more and they wound his spliced tail around LIVINGSTON, Edward, 1764-1836. Ameri- his shoulders. Finally it got so heavy that can statesman. it broke his back. Mr. Lincoln applied the Mr. Nolte, a merchant, was one of his story to cases of generals who were always clients and had joined one of the volunteer calling for more men and never did anything companies of the city [New Orleans] to aid with them.- WATROUS, JcClure's Magazine, in its defense. When the experiment of using May, 1894, quoting Frederick D. Grant. cotton bales for filling redoubts was adopted Some one was discussing in the presence by Jackson, a quantity belonging to Nolte of Mr. Lincoln the character of a time-serving was first taken from a vessel in a stream Washington clergyman. Said Mr. Lincoln to which was ready for sailing at the time the his visitor: “I think you are rather hard British fleet appeared. Nolte, on recognizing upon Jr. Ile reminded me of a man in his property thus used, complained to Mr. Illinois who was tried for passing a counter Livingston, declaring it to be an outrage to feit bill. It was in evidence that before pass take his cotton, which was of the best quality ing it he had taken it to the cashier of a bank and already shipped, while there was plenty and asked his opinion of the bill, and he re of a much cheaper sort to be had in the ceived a very prompt reply that it was a suburbs. “Well, Mr. Nolte,” said Livingston, counterfeit. lIis lawyer, who had heard of "if this is your cotton, you will at least not the evidence to be brought against his client, think it any hardship to defend it.” asked him just before going into court, 'Did All his life Livingston was accustomed to you take the bill to the cashier of the bank long, daily walks, generally solitary. At this and ask him if it was good ?' 'I did,' was the period at the close of the day he usually set reply. “Well, what was the reply of the forth and the levee was the accustomed place. cashier?' The rascal was in a corner, but he One evening he was stopped by a man in a got out of it in this fashion: 'Ile said it rustic dress, who asked him if he was Mr. was a pretty tolerable, respectable sort of a Livingston. “Yes.” “I thought so. I have bill."" come to ask you to lend me a doubloon.” Attorney-General Bates was once remon “Lend you?” “Yes; it will be returned." strating with the president against the ap "But why that precise sum?” “Less would pointment to a judicial position of consider not serve my purpose and more I do not able importance of a Western man, who, need.” Ilaving the money in his pocket Mr. though on the bench, was of indifferent repu- | Livingston handed the coin to the stranger tation as a lawyer. "Well now, Judge,” re- | without further ado, The latter, as cool in 367 Lincolu Louis I. OF THE GREAT his thanks as he had been in his request, | LOUIS I., 1786-1868. King of Bavaria. went on his way, saying, “Good night; if | Leaving France, as I did, a day earlier than I live you will hear from me again.” The I had intended in my haste, I accidentally above incident had long been forgotten, when packed with my legal documents the proof one morning, two years afterwards, while Mr. sheets of a paper which I had been writing Livingston was sitting at breakfast with his for the Figaro on Edgar Allan Poe. The family, a stranger was announced who walked proofs were left unnoticed with the other straight up to the table, and, placing upon it papers until the whole package was opened a shining doubloon, proceeded to explain: "I and spread out on the king's table. Until see that you don't recognize me. I am the then his manner had been quiet and gentle, man you saved from ruin by lending me this almost to effeminacy, but the moment he saw amount two years ago. I owned a flat-boat; Poe's name he became all eagerness and ani. it had sunk with all its contents and I was mation. His magnificent eyes lit up, his lips left penniless. I knew no one here and had quivered and his whole face was beaming and no means of getting back to Kentucky. I radiant. “Is it a personal account of him?" calculated that it would take just that sum he asked; "did you know Poe? Of course, to take me home. Had I not been ill you you did not though; you are too young. I would have seen me last year. But I am here cannot tell you how disappointed I am. Just now and everything has prospered since we for a moment I thought I was in the presence met.” He was asked what induced him to of some one who had actually known that think of Mr. Livingston in his distress. He re- plied: “Well, I can't tell exactly, only I came most wonderful of all writers, and who could, accordingly, tell me something definite and from Livingston county in Kentucky, which authentic about his inner life. To me he was named in honor of the author of the was the greatest man ever born-greatest in speech on the Alien bill, and, having had you every particular. But like many rare gems pointed out to me as the same man, I thought I had more claim on you than on any one he was fated to have his brilliance tarnished and marred by constant lashings and chaf- olse." ... From another of these walks he ings against common stone. How he must returned home completely drenched. His fam- ily, in surprise and alarm, exclaimed that he have suffered under the coarse, mean indig. nities which the world heaped upon him! looked as if he had been in the river. “So And what harsh, heartless things were said I have,” said he, laughing heartily. “As I of him when death had dulled the sharpness was walking on the levee I amused myself of the trenchant pen! You will better under- watching the progress of a little canoe cross- stand my enthusiasm when I tell you that I ing the river, with a solitary man rowing it. would sacrifice my right to my royal crown Suddenly, from some imprudent motion, the to have him on earth for a single hour, if in . boat pitched to one side and the man fell into the water. Evidently he could not swim. that hour he would unbosom to me those I threw off my coat, jumped in, got hold of rare and exquisite thoughts and feelings which so manifestly were the major part of the man just as he happened to be sinking his life.”—LEW VANDERPOOLE, Lippincott's and brought him to the boat, which was right- ed. He seized the side and, clambering in, Magazine, November, 1886. rowed off without looking at me-I suppose One of the games we played in which the because I had not been properly introduced old king used to join I still remember, and it to him--and I was left to find the shore as was of such a quaint kind that a description best I could, which, loaded as I was with of it may not be without interest. A large clothes and boots, was not so easy a matter." dish was placed in the center of the room CHARLES H. HUNT, "Life of Edward Liv- and on it was piled a great hillock of flour, ingston." in the middle of which was secreted a ring. He was, withal, an inveterate punster, The fun then began and consisted in one put- though he said the only good one he ever ting one's face in the mound of flour, with the made came to him in his sleep. He dreamed object of catching the ring in one's teeth, of being in a church at the ceremony of the and you may imagine our childish delight taking of the veil by a nun named Mary Fish. when the old king took a turn at the game To the question who should be her patron and emerged with his face and shaggy hair saint, he awoke himself by replying aloud, all besmeared with flour, without the ring, "Why, St. Poly Carp, to be sure.”—TEUNIS | but enjoying the joke more than any one S. HAMLIN, Scribner's Magazine, October, else.—LADY DOROTHY NEVILL, "Reminis- 1893. cences." Louis I. Louis IX. 368 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES One day a woman fainted in one of the cony overhanging the street. There he stood, streets of Munich. An elderly gentleman who in the dim half-shadow, with his hat on, his approached the spot where she was lying re- arms folded, in plain dress, looking down quested some of the persons present to go and calmly upon the infuriated crowd surging fetch a medical man. They all replied that madly below. Astonishment at the boldness they knew not where to find one. “Well, of the unknown person who thus defied them then," said he, “I will go myself,” and in a occasioned a moment's comparative stillness few minutes he returned with a doctor, who and suspension of the riotous attack, few applied the proper remedies to the poor stones being thrown and, fortunately, none of woman. The kind-hearted old gentleman was them striking him. Just then some one ut- King Louis of Bavaria. tered audibly, though in an undertone, “The I think that the following act of gener king! The king!” The whisper soon spread osity was also supposed to have been per- and the rude congregation began to melt formed by this monarch-it was either he away. My friend remained near the balcony or the king of Prussia. Resolving to relieve in admiration of the gentleman-grand and Che needs of one of his poor but brave aides. noble in his old age, and worthy, whatever his de-camp he sent him a small portfolio, bound faults, the honor and esteem of all true men like a book, in which were deposited five and gentlemen-until the echoes of the last hundred crowns. Some time afterwards he loitering footsteps had died away in the dis- met the officer and said to him, “Ah, well, tance, and then left this most kingly of mod- how did you like the new work I sent you ?" ern kings standing like a statue, calm and "Excessively, sire," replied the colonel, “I solitary under the starry sky.--SAMUEL H. read it with such interest that I expect the DICKSON, Lippincott's Magazine, June, 1868. second volume with impatience.” The king LOUIS II., 1845-1886. King of Bavaria. smiled and, when the officer's birthday ar- Highly nervous, he was supremely sensitive rived, he presented him with another port- and fastidious and he had an insurmountable folio, similar in every respect to the first, repugnance to the sight of physical sufferings but with these words engraved upon it: "This book is complete in two volumes.”—LADY or malformations; while his abhorrence of ugliness was so great that he habitually DOROTHY NEVILL, "Under Five Reigns." turned his face to the wall when those un- In his time of retirement one of the favored by nature entered his presence. In pleasantest associations of his past was the an endeavor to cure him of his weakness velvet-covered mattress stuffed with beards his father selected as the boy's attendants and mustaches which the soldiers of his those who were distinguished for their plain- father's regiment had cut off for the express ness, at whose approach Louis would reso- purpose.-T. F. THISELTON-DYER, "Royalty lutely close his eyes or hide behind curtains in All Ages." or screens.-J. F. MOLLOY, “The Romance of One night there gathered before the house Royalty.” which had been given her [Lola Montez] by When Louis attained his majority at her royal lover a vast mass of citizens of eighteen he was provided with an establish- every degree. The excitement increased un- ment of his own and sat down on the first til, from shouts and hooting, they proceeded day of his emancipation to his usual dinner to the employment of missiles of all kinds and --one piece of meat and some cheese. "Am heavy stones were thrown against the doors I now my own master ?" he asked with a smile and shutters, which had been prudently of his servants. “Yes, sir," was the answer. closed at the first apprehension of the coming “Then you may bring me some chicken and a tumult. The tempest raged with ever-aug. menting fury, some of the frailer portions of pudding.”—Temple Bar, August, 1886. the building being crushed in and its entire Different stories have been recounted re- ruin and demolition impending, in which garding Ludwig's peculiar phases of insanity- case the life also of the illustrious but hated as though some definite cause had produced tenant would be in the most imminent danger. it. One version is to the effect that both At this crisis the true knight and brave cham Ludwig and Otto [his brother] loved the pion of the woman appeared upon the scene. same woman—a sister of the empress of Louis, as soon as informed of the state of Austria—who is now the Duchess d'Alen- affairs, left his palace on foot and, unattended, çon. Whatever may have been the imbecile entered the premises by a postern door and feelings of Otto towards the lady it is passed through the house, emerging by a low known that King Ludwig entertained for window suddenly thrown open upon a bal. | Princess Sophia the most exalted affection. 369 Louis I. Louis IX. OF THE GREAT It is also generally believed that this beau- | how the animal had been killed and, learning tiful woman lost her promise of the Bava- | it had been slain with a cutlass, he re- rian crown through an indiscreet if not il. turned to the donor a beautiful hunting dirk licit intrigue with a royal equerry–which and a damascened blade bearing an inscrip- made an unwholesome scandal at the time. tion to the effect that the weapon was worthy The betrothal between herself and Ludwig to be worn by a sportsman who could despise was broken off and the latter became a con all other arms.—Temple Bar, August, 1886. firmed woman-hater to the last.-LEON MEAD, He lived, like William Beckford, in a Munsey's Magazine, August, 1893. solitude of fantastic splendor. He had the Once, when he had rolled off his horse table laid, in an empty banqueting hall, for into the sawdust at the riding school, his ghostly guests, and fancied that he was en- military tutor, Colonel Heckel, laughed. tertaining Marie Antoinette and Catherine Prince Louis turned to him with a white of Russia, and Hamlet and Julius Cæsar. face and said, “Pray, teach me, Colonel, to He caused command performances of the best fall off in a way that shall not be comical, operas to be given to himself alone in an There ought to be nothing laughable in an empty theater. He sailed about the Starn- incident which might happen to a good rider berger lake in a gondola, drawn by a swan. before a hundred thousand men.” He caused eminent actors to recite to him while he ate and he went on eating and kept Most of the king's acts of prodigality them reciting until five o'clock in the morn- were owing in some way to Wagner. Identi- ing. He outraged the feelings of the court fying himself with the character of Lohen- by bestowing titles of nobility on his tailor grin, Louis II. loved sometimes to enact the and his barber and the end of it all was part of that hero. Attired in a sheen suit that keepers took the places of courtiers of silver armor, and standing in a skiff drawn and a regent was appointed.-FRANCIS by a swan which moved by clockwork, he GRIBBLE, "The Life of the Emperor Francis would glide over Lake Starnberger in the night while a prima donna sang to him from Joseph.” the shore. At other times he would sit on the LOUIS IX., 1215-1270. King of France. battlements of the Castle of Berg and watch Fruit he tasted only once in a year. the tenor Nachauer singing Lohengrin's part On Fridays he never changed his dress and in the skiff. All this cost money, for tenors never laughed. The iron scourges which he and prima donne never went away empty- carried at his waist in an ivory case drew handed. Nachauer ended by receiving the blood from his shoulders once every week king's suit of silver armor, and thousands of the year and thrice in every week during of pounds were disbursed for jewelry and Lent. He would walk for miles to distant works of art given to songstresses. A dis- churches, wearing shoes without soles. ... agreeable adventure happened to one of the No reproach, no sarcasm, no insult could dis- ladies who was singing to the king in a boat. turb the serenity of this humble soul. “You Seeing his majesty much moved by her lay, are not a king of France," exclaimed a woman she ventured to pass her hands through his who was pleading a cause before him; "you hair. Indignant at this familiarity, which are a king only of priests and monks. It is destroyed his illusion, the king gave her a a pity that you are a king of France. You shove which threw her into the lake and Wag- ought to be turned out.” “You speak truly," ner had to fish her out of the water with a answered Louis; "it has pleased God to boathook. make me king; it had been well had he The death of Richard Wagner in 1883 chosen some one better able to govern this threw the king into paroxysms of grief which kingdom rightly.” The woman was sent lasted for weeks, but without unsettling his away with a gift of money.-GEORGE W. reason, as some have pretended. ... He Cox, “The Crusades.” would no longer hear music in his own pal I will tell you of a knight that was aces, for it reminded him too painfully of caught in a house of ill fame. He was of- the friend he had lost. All the pianos on fered—according to the custom of the country which Wagner had played in his hearing were an alternative: either to be led by a rope locked up and covered with crape. through the camp, stripped to his shirt; or It may be added that Louis II. had a gen to forfeit his horse and armor and be turned eral abhorrence of firearms, even for sport out of the army. He left his horse and armor ing purposes. Receiving a splendid bearskin to the king and quitted the camp.-PRINCE from the czarevitch (now czar), he inquired I DE JOINVILLE, "Memoirs in Syria in 1250." Louis XI. Louis XIII. 370 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Dice and gambling were very much out her ashes, they begged him to have her monu- of fashion--those dice—“which strip me, mur- ment removed from their midst, for they pre- der me, lie in wait for me, bully me, attack tended that scandal attached to it. “I and defy me,” as the poet Rutebeuf found. | agree," said the monarch, angered by their The awful waste of money and time over ingratitude, “but you must render up all you the pastimes condemned them in Louis's eyes. | received from her.”—FRANK HAMEL, “The Their very origin, according to popular fic- Lady of Beauty.” tion, was iniquitous. A Roman merchant, One day in the black list is Innocents' who gave himself to the devil, was, so the day, December 28th; the day on which the legend went, ordered to make him a six-sided children in Bethlehem were massacred by figure, and to mark each side successively, order of King Herod. A disastrous day has one point to insult the only God, two to in this day ever since been regarded for the sult God and the Blessed Virgin, three the beginning of any work or important enter- Trinity, four the Evangelists, five the Five prise. The French king Louis XI. was very Wounds, six the days of creation. From sensitive on this point, disliking to con- that time they spread rapidly through the sider any public question on such a day of world to cause man's ruin. Louis, it has ill omen.—Chambers's Journal, March 4, been told, hated them so much that he was 1876. stammering with rage when he found Charles LOUIS XII., 1462-1515. King of France. of Anjou playing on the voyage from Egypt to Palestine.-WINNIFRED KNOX, “The Court “The deputy of Louis XII.," says Mrs. Everett Green, quoting a letter in the Harle- of a Saint." ian MSS., "was Louis d'Orléans, duke of LOUIS XI., 1423-1483. King of France. Longueville, who exchanged with Lady Mary Before reaching his seventh birthday the [Tudor] a signed copy of the words of en- child [Giovanni de Medici, son of the Mag-| gagement signed by each. To confer upon vificent and subsequently Pope Leo X.] re the ceremonial a character of still greater ir- ceived the tonsure-the solemn shaving of the revocability, the princess, changing her court scalp which notified his entry into the church, dress for a magnificent deshabille, retired to and he was at the same time deemed capable | the couch of state; and her proxy bride. of preferment, whereupon Louis XI. of groom, putting off one of his red boots, took France, to whom Lorenzo had communicated his place by her side for a few moments his intention, at once presented the boy and touched her leg with his bare foot." with the abbey of Fonte Dolce, and even The king, queen and the courtiers, including promised him the see of Aix, until it was un Suffolk, were all present at this remarkable expectedly realized that its archbishop was scene.—IDA WOODWARD, “Five English Con- still living. A canonry with each cathedral sorts of Foreign Princes.” (Heylin says that church of Tuscany was promptly bestowed the Archduke Maximilian by proxy married on this infantile pluralist, and even Pope Anne, Duchess of Bretagne, “which marriage Sixtus IV., that implacable foe to the house he consummated by a ceremony in those days of Medici, granted him a little later the rich unusual. For his ambassador, attended by a convent of Passignano. A detailed list of the great train of lords and ladies, bared his leg child's benefices would prove wearisome, but unto the knee, and put the same in the we may mention that he held twenty-seven sheets of the duchess, taking possession there. different offices.-HERBERT M. VAUGHAN, by of her bed and body.” But she was after- “The Medici Popes.” wards married to Charles VIII., his "divines" The canons of Loches voluntarily ac holding that “this pretended consummation corded her [Agnes Sorel] similar services was rather an invention of the court than (for the repose of her soul] in recognition any way firm by the laws of the Church.”) of two thousand golden crowns which she LOUIS XIII., 1601-1643. King of France. gave them to buy the lands of Fromenteau "Let them make my brother king,” said and Bigorgne. Besides, she gave them a the child Louis XIII., after the death of tapestry of great price and many pictures and llenry IV.; “I do not want to be king.”— jewels. ... They did not scruple at Loches to accept her donations, but after the death of FRANÇOIS RENÉ CHÂTEAUBRIAND, "Memoirs." Charles VII., one day when Louis XI. was The ceremonies of the king's rising in- in their church, they showed him the tomb volved the attendance of 150 to 200 people. of their benefactress and, thinking to flatter | Long before eight o'clock the anteroom was him, believing the hate which he felt for filled with a whispering crowd, conning over her during her lifetime was still centered in I the requests they meant to proffer. As the 371 Louis XI. OF THE GREAT Louis XIII. clock struck, the valet Bontemps entered preceded and flanked by guards. Every one the king's bedroom and pulled up the gold who met the dinner was required to salute and white blinds. IIis own truckle-bed at it by bowing. M. Maître d'Hôtel then bowed the foot of the pen-like enclosure round the to the royal couvert and presented the napkin, king's four-poster had been removed at an while each dish was tasted by its bearer, for earlier hour. When the king was fully fear of poison. Even the scented napkin, aroused there filed in a brilliant assembly which was renewed at every course, was of princes of the blood. This was known “tried.” When the king wished to drink a as the entrée familière. A few moments later servant demanded in a loud voice, “A boire took place the grande entrée, i. e., the advent pour le roi.” The wine was tasted by two of the great lords. At this point the king persons and then brought to the king. A got out of bed and sat on the elge of it, while glass saucer was held under the goblet while his dressing gown was hung over him and he drank.-CECILE HUGON, "Social France in his slippers were put on his feet. The next the Seventeenth Century." batch of persons, consisting of nobles favored with a brief conferring on them that honor, The timid Louis XIII. could, when he was then admitted. These were closely fol- set about it, give his court very unappetizing lowed by the Captain of the Guard and examples. In a book of Edification, bearing other officers. This entrance was termed date 1658, we read that “the late king, see- l'entrance de la chambre. The king's shirt ing a young woman among the crowds ad- was now fetched and water was brought mitted to the palace so that they might see to him to wash his hands and perhaps his the king eat, said nothing, and gave no im- face. The shirt was presented by the chief mediate evidence that he had seen her; but, as he raised his glass for the last sup, before person present, and a like ceremony attended the putting on of the other garments. The rising from the table, he filled his mouth with king chose his cravat pin from a number pre- wine and, having held it thus sanctuaried for sented to him on a tray. His wig was se- an instance, launched it forth into the un- lected from a large collection under glass covered chest of the watchful lady," who had in a neighboring closet. Every two days the been too eager to witness the mastications of king was shaved. Finally the doors were royalty.-ARVEDE BARINE, “The Grand Ma- flung open and the rest of the waiting throng demoiselle.” streamed in and lined the walls. The watch- While he was playing at battledore and maker then entered to wind up the royal shuttlecock with the fair-haired and blue- watch and the chaplain proceeded to rehearse eyed Marie d'Hautefort, the shuttlecock fell a prayer, while the king knelt on his prayer- into her corsage, she being attired in the stool. When the assembly had gone to the usual décolleté fashion at the time. With a king's mass, the royal upholsterers (Molière's provoking smile she told the king to come father was one of them) made the bed, and and take the toy; but the chaste prince, “to a valet sat all day inside the enclosure to avoid the trap set for him by the evil one," guard it. All who passed were obliged to went, we are told, to the chimneypiece for bow or courtesy to it. the fire tongs and it was with that implement Dinner was a particularly solemn event that he removed the shuttlecock from its rest- and the ceremonies were so much protracted ing place.-E. A. VIZETELLY (Le Petit that the food was often spoilt thereby. Louis Homme Rouge), "The Favorites of Louis XIII. used to complain that he never in his XIV." life tasted hot soup and his son was not It is related that one day Louis abrupt- much more fortunate, though he had a fine ly entered the queen's closet, when Anne new kitchen with thirty-two rooms and five was sitting tête-à-tête with her dame d'a- hundred windows built by Mansard in 1685. tours; who, with heightened color, was read- When the king dined in his anteroom any ing to her majesty a note, which, on the person in respectable clothes was admitted to entrance of the king, she hastily folded. A the sight. Louis sat in silence alone or with dark shadow gloomed over the king's brow the queen at the great state table. The and he peremptorily demanded to see the let- people stared and the dinner grew cold while ter so hastily hidden. Treason to his realm the preliminary ritual of the meal was in might afford a daily pastime to Anne of progress. The procession of dishes having left Austria; while treason to his attachment the kitchen, it crossed the road, mounted the | might give delight to Varie d'Hautefort- great staircase, filed through several long for Louis had been informed by his minister rooms and finally emerged into the presence, 1 of the admiration nrnfessed by the Nuke of Louis XIII. Louis XIV. 372 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Liancourt and the young Prince of Marsillac | fortunate day and that in that day he would for the lovely young dame d'atours. By some wish to die.-W. II. D. ADANS, The Gentle- historians the letter is said to have been man's Magazine, August, 1888. written by Richelieu, and that it contained LOUIS XIV., 1638-1715. King of France. offers of a reciprocal friendly alliance; others state that the epistle congratulated Made- After he had heard the details of the bat- moiselle d'Hautefort on her favor and ended tle of Ramillies Louis XIV. exclaimed, “God by a demand for protection from some cring- Almighty has then forgotten all that I have ing courtier. True to herself, however, Marie done for Him.”-SÉBASTIEX R. M. CHAMFORT, refused to gratify the curiosity of the king “Characters and Anecdotes.” and, to end the debate, she hid the note in When M. d'Orléans was about to start her bosom. Anne, meantime, looked on with for Spain he named the officers who were to mocking derision; especially when she beheld be of his suite. Among others was Fontper- the confusion of the king and his hesitation tuis. At that name the king put on a serious to draw the note from its hiding place. Her look. “What, my nephew," said he, “Font- majesty, however, presently seized the hands pertuis ? The son of a Jansenist-of that of Mademoiselle d'Hautefort and laughingly silly woman who ran everywhere after M. exhorted the king to take the note while she | Arnoult? I do not wish that man to go with thus held its owner captive. Louis blushed, you.” “By my faith, sire,” replied the Duke stammered, advanced and retreated and, at of Orléans, “I know not what the mother has length, taking up from the hearth a small done; but as for the son, he is far enough pair of silver tongs, he tried to possess him from being a Jansenist, I'll answer for it; self of the note, which was visible beneath for he does not believe in God.” “Is it pos. the transparent lace which covered Marie's sible, my nephew?" answered the king, soft- bosom. The peals of laughter which this ening. “Nothing more certain, I assure you." extraordinary device drew from the queen, "Well, since it is so," said the king, “there and the blushing confusion and deprecatory | is no harm; you can take him with you.”— looks of Marie, fairly drove Louis from the DUKE OF SAINT SIMON, "Memoirs." (The apartment. The ladies then hastened to same anecdote is told in the “Memoirs of destroy the letter, just in time to forestall a | the Duchess of Orléans.") formal summons for its surrender by the He [Massillon) had already preached his under secretary of state Machault.—MARTHA | first Advent sermon in the presence of Louis W. FREER, "Married Life of Anne of Austria," XIV., who said to him in a moved voice: citing Machault and Cousin. “Father, I have heard a great many orators According to the Papal Nuncio, Luynes in my chapel; I have been greatly pleased had given Monteleone “positive assurance" with them; in your case, every time I have that the marriage should be consummated heard you, I have been greatly dissatisfied before the departure of the Spanish ladies. with myself.”—CARDINAL DUBOIS, “Memoirs." Since, however, the bashful monarch still (Hugon says this remark was made by the hesitated, the favorite determined to take king to Soanon of the Oratory.) the matter into his own hands. We read in Louis XIV. gave flatterers good pre- Ilerouard's "Journal,” under date January 5, texts of which they were not slow to avail 1619: [The king] "went to bed. Prayed to themselves. A Capuchin preaching before God. At eleven o'clock or thereabouts, with this monarch at Fontainebleau began his dis- out the king expecting it, M. de Luynes came course with, “My brethren, we shall all die.” to persuade him to sleep with the queen. He Then, stopping short and turning to the king, resisted, strong and firm, struggling even to “Yes, sire, almost all of us shall die.”— tears; is carried there; put to bed.”—H. PERCY, “Anecdotes.” NOEL WILLIAMS, “A Fair Conspirator.” Brissac, a few years before his retire- Dubois in his "Memoires Fidele” relates ment, served the court ladies a nice turn. that Louis XIII., a few days before his death All through the winter they attended even- (Thursday, the 14th of May, 1643), sum- | ing prayers on Thursdays and Sundays, be- moned his physicians and asked them if they cause the king went there; and, under the thought he would live until the following day, | pretense of reading their prayer-books, had saying that Friday had been for him always | little tapers before them, which cast a light a fortunate day; that all the undertakings on their faces and enabled the king to he had begun on that day had proved success: | recognize them as he passed. On the even- ful; that in all the battles fought on that ings when they knew he would not go, scarce. day he had been victorious; that it was his 1 ly one of them went. One evening, when the 373 Louis XIII. Louis XIV. OF THE GREAT king was expected, all the ladies had ar troduced and at the same time assumed his rived and were in their places and the guards most important look. Bazire, who was to were at the doors. Suddenly Brissac ap speak, began to have an uncomfortable sink- peared in the king's place, lifted his baton ing at the pit of his stomach and his knees and cried aloud, “Guards of the king, with- were loosened with terror. He just managed draw and return to your quarters; the king to stammer out the word "Sire.” Having is not coming this evening.” The guards repeated this word two or three times, he withdrew, but, after they had proceeded a was seized with a felicitous inspiration. short distance, were stopped by brigadiers "Sire,” he once more began (and concluded), posted for the purpose and told to return in "here is Soulaigre.” Soulaigre, looking un- a few minutes. What Brissac had said was utterably wretched, commenced in his turn, a joke. The ladies at once began to murmur "Sire-sire--sire," then (oh, happy thought) to one another. In a moment or two all the ended like his colleague, “Sire, here is Ba- candles were put out and the ladies, with but | zire.” The king smiled and made answer, few exceptions, left the chapel. Soon the “I know the motive which has brought you king arrived and, much astonished to see so here; I will see that your petition is granted few ladies present, asked how it was that and I am very well satisfied with the manner nobody was there. At the conclusion of the in which you have fulfilled your mission as prayers Brissac related what he had done, deputies." Exeunt Bazire and Soulaigre, lost not without dwelling on the piety of the in admiration of royal grace and condescen- court ladies. The king and all who ac- sion.-Cornhill Magazine, March, 1877. companied him laughed heartily. The story soon spread and these ladies would have Dominico, the harlequin, going to see strangled Brissac if they had been able.- Louis XIV. at supper, fixed his eyes on a DUKE OF SAINT-SIMON, "Memoirs.” dish of partridges. The king, who was fond of his acting, said, "Give that dish to Domi- But the most curious chamber of all is nico.” “And the partridges, too, sire?” the confessional. It is divided into two Louis, penetrating into the artfulness of the small rooms. In the middle of a party wall question, replied, “And the partridges, too." is a thick but transparent pane of glass, so The dish was gold.—JOHN MOTTLEY, "Joe that whatever is passing in one room might | Miller's Jest Book." be seen from the other though what was said in a low voice could not be heard. The first This assembly [of the estates of Bearne) of these rooms is quite empty. When Louis having petitioned for leave to erect a statue XIV. was at confession it was always occu- to their countryman, Henry IV., Louis re- pied by the captain of the guards, who, with plied that a statue to himself would be more a drawn sword in his hand, stood looking appropriate. The estates obeyed, but in through the pane of glass. Thus Louis XIV. spirit gained their point, for under it they was under surveillance even in the confes. engraved, “To him who is the grandson of sional. . . . The only furniture in the other our great Henry.”—CECILE HUGON, "Social room is an armchair, a prie-dieu and a basin Life in the Seventeenth Century.” for holy water. In that armchair sat Father “Since I have seen you,” Louis wrote Letellier (sometimes written Le Tellier, born to Colbert, "I have had an idea which will at Vire in 1648, died at la Flèche in 1719], cost me some money, but will give pleasure the Jesuit, and at his feet was wont to kneel, to many here and especially to the two but watched, as I have said, the most mighty queens. I want to have a lottery-like that sovereign of the world.—The Eclectic Maga- one of the Cardinal's, I mean; it is to cost zine, January, 1860. nobody anything, except myself. I don't want It chanced the members of the king's it to be worth more than three thousand household claimed certain privileges which pistoles, which, if well laid out, ought to were disputed them by the corporation of the buy me lots of jewels; for I won't have any town of St.-Germain. Anxious to obtain the article of wearing apparel. As no one will king's decision on the matter, the members know anything about it, it will be all the of the household resolved to send a deputa easier for you to get things at a moderate tion to his majesty to urge their claims. price. I should like the big prize to be worth Bazire and Soulaigre, two of the king's five hundred pistoles, and, for the others, I valets, undertook to act as deputies and ob don't keep you to a fixed sum. I should like tained without difficulty an audience of the the handsomest things you can get at a rea- sovereign. The next morning, after the early sonable price.” Louis was afraid of annoy. levee, Louis ordered the deputation to be in: | ing the economical minister, so he tried to Louis XIV. 37+ WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES "meet” him in details. Moreover, though was compelled to pass the remainder of the the king liked to be magnificent, the Man time. As the princess's medical advisers was still very prudent, and described himself feared that during the coming carnival she most neatly when he said that he liked to might insist on dancing, the king gave orders have the handsomest things at the lowest that during the festive season no balls were possible price.-JULES LAIR, “Louise la Val to be given at the court.-H. NOEL WILLIAMS, lière." “A Rose of Savoy." A new law condemned thieves to be In the time of Louis XIV. the dauphin, hanged for even the simple theft of a pocket. | having recovered from a long sickness, the handkerchief, if they ply their trade in a fishwomen of Paris, who then formed a sort royal house.—MARQUIS D'ARGENSON, "Me of body corporate, deputed four of their troop moirs." to offer their congratulations. After some St. Denis is the burying place of the delay the ladies were admitted by the king's kings of France. Louis XIV., who is de- special command and conducted to the scribed as a man of unshaken resolution, dauphin's apartment. One of them began a could not bear the idea of death. When he sort of harangue, “What would have become had come to the determination to build a of us if our dear dauphin had died? We palace for the residence of the kings of should have lost our all.” The king had in France he fixed on St. Germain-en-Laye as the meantime unexpectedly entered the room the most convenient and suitable situation. and, being extremely jealous of his power But on particular examination he discovered and glory, frowned at this ill-judged com- from the place the steeple of St. Denis. Louis pliment; when another of the deputation, had not the fortitude of Philip of Macedon; with a ready ingenuity, regained the good the plan was immediately changed and the graces of his majesty by adding, “True, we palace was built at Versailles.--The Gentle- should indeed have lost our all, for our good man's Magazine, September, 1797. king could never have survived, and would doubtless have died of grief for the loss of The Tyrant his dear son.”—PERCY, “Anecdotes." “Every one knows that misfortunes have A Mr. Stirling, who was a minister of been caused by the discussions in Parle the Barony church at Glasgow during the ment. I intend to prevent these for the fu war, which this and other countries main- ture and I order that the discussions shall tained against the insatiable ambition of cease which began on the edicts you have Louis XIV., in that part of his prayer which registered. M. le President, I forbid you to related to public affairs used to beseech the allow these deliberations to continue, and | Lord that he would take the haughty tyrant you, gentlemen, to ask for them.” On being of France and shake him over the mouth of remonstrated with that these discussions | hell; “But, good Lord,” added the worthy were for the good of the state, he answered, man, "dinna let him fa' in.” This curious “The state, it is I.”—COUNT OF BRIENNE, prayer being mentioned to Louis, he laughed “Memoirs." heartily at this new and ingenious method of Soon after her husband [the Duke of punishing ambition, and frequently after- Bourgogne] returned to Versailles in the wards gave as a toast, “The good Scotch summer of 1703, the young lady [the Duchess parson.”—The Athenæum (Boston), October of Bourgogne] was once more in an interest- 15, 1821. ing condition and this time his majesty de- Delicate Problems in Etiquette termined that the most severe régime should be imposed upon her, in order to guard A difficulty arose with Denmark. The against a fresh accident. Not only were | royal prince had become king and announced hunting, dancing and every amusement which the circumstance to our king, but would not entailed exertion strictly forbidden, but, receive the reply sent him because he was when she drove out, her coachmen had orders not styled in it “majesty.” We had never to avoid paved roads and to walk their accorded to the kings of Denmark this title, horses the greater part of the way; while, and they had always been contented with about three months before she expected her that of "serenity.” The king, in his turn, confinement, Clement, the accoucheur to would not wear mourning for the king of whose care she had been entrusted, finding Denmark, just dead, although he always did that she was not progressing as satisfacto- | so for any crowned head, whether related to rily as he could desire, ordered her to bed, him or not. This state of things lasted some where, in spite of her indignant protests, she | months; until, in the end, the new king of 375 Louis XIV. OF THE GREAT Denmark gave way, received the reply as it and to enter there when he entered to change had been first sent and our king wore mourn his coat. Beyond this the privilege attached ing as if the time for it had not long to these admissions did not extend. The elapsed. cardinals and the princes of the blood had Since the occasion offers, I may as well the entrées of the chamber and those of the cabinets, as had all the chief officials. explain what are the different sorts of en- trées. The most precious are called the At these repasts [morning or evening "grande,” which give the right to enter into meal] everybody was covered; it would have all the retired places of the king's apart. been a want of respect, of which you would ments, whenever the grand chamberlain and have been immediately informed, if you had the chief gentlemen of the chamber enter. not kept your hat on your head. The king The importance of this privilege, under a alone was uncovered. When the king wished king who grants audiences with difficulty, to speak to you, or you had occasion to need not be insisted upon. Enjoying it, you speak to him, you uncovered. You uncovered can speak with him, tête-à-tête, whenever you also when Monsieur or Monseigneur spoke please, without asking his permission and to you, or you to them. For princes of the without the knowledge of others; you ob- blood you merely put your hand to your hat. tain a familiarity, too, with him by being The king alone had an armchair. All the able to see him thus in private. The offices rest of the company, Monseigneur included, which give this right are those of grand had seats with backs of black morocco leath- chamberlain, of first gentleman of the cham- er, which could be folded up to be carried ber, and of grand master of the wardrobe and which were called “parrots."-SAINT- on annual duty; the children, legitimate and SIMON. illegitimate, of the king, and the wives and On this occasion [the reception of Ade- } el, and's of the latter enjoy the same right. laide of Savoy in France] both Vernone and As for Monsieur and M. le Duc d'Orléans, Desgranges were compelled to admit that in they always had these entrées, and as sons of the other he had found a foeman worthy France were at liberty to enter and see the of his steel. While the Princess Adelaide king at all hours, but they did not abuse was engaged in receiving addresses and visit. this privilege. The Duc du Maine and the ing churches and convents, these two func- Comte de Toulouse had the same, which they tionaries were closeted together in strenuous availed themselves of unceasingly, but by the argument, every point which admitted of the back stairs. The second entrées, simply smallest difference of opinion being debated called entrées, were purely personal; no ap with as much fervor and eloquence as pointment or change gave them. They con though the fate of Europe depended upon it. ferred the right to see the king at his ris- The question most difficult of solution was ing, after the grandes, and also to see him, whether the French escort should advance but under difficulties, during all the day and on to the Savoyard ground to receive the evening. The last entrées were those called princess or await her on French soil. Ver- the chamber entrées. They also gave the none argued for the former course, citing the right to see the king at his rising, before the precedent of Victor Amadeus himself, who, distinguished courtiers, but no other privi- | in 1648, had crossed the Pont de Beauvoisin lege than to be present at the “booting” of to welcome his wife. But to this Desgranges the king. This was the name employed when replied that the duke's eagerness to behold the king changed his coat, in going to or in his bride had led him, in his opinion, to returning from hunting or a walk. At commit a breach of etiquette; but that, even Marly, all who were staying there by invita-l presuming he had not, the circumstances of tion entered to see this ceremony, without | 1648 were very different from those which asking; elsewhere, those who had not the they had now to consider, since Anne d'Or- entrée were excluded. The first gentlemen léans had been already married by procura- of the chamber had the right, and used it tion, while her daughter was only betrothed. sometimes, to admit four or five persons at Neither functionary would give way an inch the most to the "booting," if they asked, | and it seemed as if the princess would have and provided they were people of quality or to remain at Chamberry until the question of some distinction. Lastly, there were the had been referred to their respective courts. entrées of the cabinet, which gave you the At length, however, they hit upon a truly right to wait for the king there when he brilliant idea, of which each subsequently entered after rising, until he had given orders claimed the credit. We have mentioned that for the day, and to pay your court to him, the western half of the Pont de Beauvoisir Louis XIV. 376 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES was regarded as French territory and the said hardly a word and bore a look of anger eastern as Savoyard; and it was now ar- that rendered everybody very attentive and ranged that the royal coach destined for the | even troubled the Duchess de Duras. Upon princess should be brought to the middle of | rising from the table the king passed, accord- the bridge in such a way that the front ing to custom, into the apartments of wheels should rest in France and the hind | Madame de Maintenon, followed by the wheels in Savoy; while the two escorts should princesses of the blood, who grouped them- advance on to the bridge, each, however, re selves around him on stools; the others who maining on its own territory. Her high entered kept at a distance. Almost before ness was then to enter the coach and the he had seated himself in his chair he said difficulty would thus be solved without being to Madame de Maintenon that he had just decided and the dignity of both nations and been witness to an act of "incredible inso- the reputation of the two high priests of lence" (that was the term he used) which etiquette duly safeguarded. But the ques. had thrown him into such a rage that he tions which he had discussed with the Comte had been unable to eat; that such an enter- de Vernone were not the only ones with prise would have been insupportable in a which M. Desgranges was called upon to woman of the highest quality, but, coming deal. Louis XIV. had not yet decided the as it did, from a mere bourgeoise it had so exact rank which the Princess Adelaide was affected him that ten times he had been upon to occupy in France until the celebration of the point of making her leave the table, and her marriage, and the problem now present that he was only restrained by considera- ed itself whether she was to be treated as tion for her husband. After this outbreak he the Duchesse of Bourgogne, that is to say, made a long discourse upon the genealogy of as the first lady in the land, or merely as a Madame de Torey's family and other matters; foreign princess. If as the former, then the and then, to the astonishment of all present, Comte de Brionne must stand when she was grew as angry as ever against Madame de seated; if as the latter, then, since he was Torcy. He went off then into a discourse a member of the princely house of Lorraine, | upon the dignity of dukes and, in conclusion, he had the right to sit down also. This he charged the princesses to tell Madame de delicate question caused poor Desgranges Torcy to what extent he had found her con- much perplexity, particularly as Brionne in duct impertinent. The princesses looked at formed him that, unless the lady were to one another and not one seemed to like this receive at once all the honors which would commission; whereupon the king, growing eventually be hers, he should insist on as more angry, said, that it must be understood, serting his claim. His resourcefulness, how however, and left the room. The news of ever, again saved the situation, and it was what had taken place and of the king's agreed that, whenever they had anything to choler soon spread all over the court. It was say to one another, both princess and the believed, however, that all was over and that count should carry on their conversation nothing more would be heard about the standing up.-WILLIAMS. matter. Yet the very same evening the The ladies who were invited to Marly king broke out again with even more bitter- had the privilege of dining with the king. ness than before. On the morrow, too, sur- Tables were placed for them and they took | prise was great indeed when it was found up positions according to their rank. The that the king immediately after dinner could non-titled ladies had also their special place. talk of nothing but this subject and that, It so happened one day that Madame de too, without any softening of tone. At last Torcy (an untitled lady) placed herself above he was assured that Madame de Torcy had the Duchess of Duras, who arrived at table been spoken to and this appeased him a little. a moment after her. Madame de Torcy of- Torcy was obliged to write him a letter, fered to give up her place, but it was a little apologizing for the fault of Madame de late, and the offer passed away in compli- | Torcy, and the king at this grew content. ments. The king entered and put himself at Father Seraphin preached during lent table. As soon as he sat down, he saw the this year at court. His sermons, in which place Madame de Torcy had taken and fixed he often repeated twice running the same such a serious and surprised look at her that phrase, were much in vogue. It was from she again offered to give up her place to the | him that came the saying, “Without God Duchess de Duras; but the offer was again there is no wit.” The king was much declined. All through the dinner the king pleased with him and reproached M. de scarcely took his eyes off Madame de Torcy, | Vendôme and de la Rochefoucauld because 377 Louis XIV. OF THE GREAT they never went to hear his sermons. M. de sieur Such-a-one” upon those intended for Vendôme replied offhand that he did not princes of the blood, cardinals and foreign care to go to hear a man who said whatever princes, but for none other. The king would he pleased without allowing anybody to reply not allow the "For” to be written upon the to him, and made the king smile at the sally. lodgings of the ambassadors and the am- But M. de Rochefoucauld treated the matter bassadors therefore kept away.-SAINT-SI- in another manner; he said that he could MON. not induce himself to go like the merest In 1692 there was held on three days hanger-on about the court and beg a seat in the week an "appartment,” which began of the officer who distributed them and then at seven, was honored with the king's pres- betake himself early to church in order to ence at eight and continued until ten, when have a good one and wait about until it his majesty supped. Music, card-playing might please that officer to place him. and billiards occupied the evening. Saint- Whereupon the king immediately gave him Simon notes, as a special concession, that a the fourth seat behind him, by the side of man might play with whom he liked. Con- the grand chamberlain, so that everywhere versation was prohibited, even when the king he is thus placed. M. d'Orléans had been in was absent.-HUGON. the habit of seating himself there (although his right place was on the prie-dieu), and His Mistresses little by little had accustomed himself to consider it as his proper place. When he French ladies preferred the fontange. It is said that an adventure was the origin found himself driven away he made a great ado and, not daring to complain to the king, of this head-dress. Mademoiselle de Fon- quarreled with M. de la Rochefoucauld, who tange, mistress of Louis XIV., was out rid- until then had been one of his particular ing with him one day when her coiffure be- friends. The affair soon made a great stir; came disordered. She took off her garter the friends of both parties mixed themselves and twisted it around her hair. This style up in it. The king tried in vain to make M. so pleased the king that he begged she would d'Orléans listen to reason; the prelate was wear it that way. All the ladies of the court inflexible and when he found he could gain adopted the fashion.—MRS. ARTHUR COLVILLE, nothing by clamor and complaint he retired "Duchess of Marlborough." in high dudgeon into his diocese; he remained The Montespan expanded into a sultana, there some time and upon his return resumed to whom every knee was bowed. The minis- his complaints with more determination than ters were summoned to council in her boudoir ever; he fell at the feet of the king pro and even the imperious Louvois was reduced testing that he would rather die than see to servitude. Once, when seven marshals his office degraded. M. de la Rochefoucauld were created, she coolly took the list out entreated the king to be allowed to sur of the king's pocket and, after inspecting it, render the seat in favor of M. d'Orléans. said, "Then my brother, Vivonne, is not But the king would not change his decision; amongst them?” The king and Louvois he said that if the matter were to be decided stammered, looked at each other and finished between M. d'Orléans and a lackey, he would by saying it was an oversight and her brother give the seat to the lackey rather than to Vivonne was nominated eighth marshal.-J. M. d'Orléans. Upon this the prelate re- COTTER MORISON, The Fortnightly Review, turned to his diocese, which he would have March, 1874. been wiser never to have quitted in order to The other young ladies continuing to obtain a place which did not belong to him. tease her she at length said, “For my part The king wishing that the magnificence I cannot but feel that you are very stupid of his camp should be seen by the ambassa- in praising the whole court and saying noth- dors, invited them there and provided lodg. ing in favor of the king. I should praise ings for them. But the ambassadors claimed the whole court by speaking of him. Is there a man that can be compared with him, a silly distinction, which the king would not even for dancing in a ballet ?” “I see,” in- grant and they refused his invitation. This terrupted Mademoiselle de Chemerault, "the distinction I call silly because it brings king pleases you because he is the king." with it no advantage of any kind. I am "On the contrary," quickly responded Made- ignorant of its origin, but this is what it moiselle de la Vallière; “it is the crown consists in: When, upon such an occasion that spoils him, since it takes him from the as this, lodgings are allotted to the court , number of those one could love. Ah! If he the quartermaster writes in chalk "For Mon- | were only not a king.” The king stepped Louis XIV. Louis xv. 378 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES from his hiding place, but all present at once Great and Louise de la Vallière.-- JULES fled with the rapidity of birds. “Ah," ex LAIR, “Louise de la Vallière." claimed Louis XIV., "she will not love a LOUIS XV., 1710-1774. King of France. king; well, she shall love a lover."- ARSÈNE I heard M. de Sommery, the king's sub- HOUSSAYE, "Mademoiselle de la Vallière and Madame de Montespan.” governor, say that, wishing one day to know what took place during the lessons of the "I was curious," says the Princess tutor with his pupil, he entered the room [Palatine], "to know why she [Mademoiselle unexpectedly on some pretext and found the de la Vallière] had remained so long at court Bishop of Frejus sitting on a stool, the as a sort of attendant, so to speak, upon the king standing by him and putting his tutor's Montespan. She told us that God had gray hairs into curl papers; that is not touched her heart, had shown her her sin, exactly the way to instruct a child-king, but and that then she thought she must de it is certainly the way to find the secret of penance and suffer in the way that hurt her pleasing him.-CARDINAL BERNIS, "Memoirs." the most-and that was to watch the king's When Louis XV. was a young man it heart turn away from her, and disdain take was found necessary to correct him of a habit the place in it which love once had filled. of tearing the lace of his courtiers. M. de In the three years after her love affair with Maurepas undertook this task. He appeared the king she had suffered like one of the before the king with the most exquisite lace damned and she had offered up all her in the world. The king, approaching him, anguish to God in expiation of her past sins; tore one of his ruilles, whereupon de Maure- for, since her sins had been public, her pen. pas himself, with the utmost sang-froid, de- ance must be public too. They thought her liberately tore up the other, simply saying, an unobservant fool at the very time when "There's no pleasure in that." The king, she was suffering the most terribly; and surprised, blushed slightly and from that she went on suffering until God had turned hour was never known to tear lace.-SÉ- her heart to serve Him alone, which she BASTIEN R. N. CHAMFORT, “Characters and thenceforth did.” Anecdotes." When they told the king of Louise de la The king [at the age of thirty] is more Vallière's death he did not seem touched. in love than ever with Mme. de Mailly; and lle had lost even that faculty of weeping she is openly more and more against the which had formerly given him an appear. cardinal and has undertaken his ruin. She ance of sensibility. To account for his in- is impatient to be declared mistress and be difference he thought it necessary to say that made a duchess; meanwhile she has not a from the day Louise had given herself to penny. Her husband, who at first set up God she was dead to him. Men are all like his carriage, goes about once more in a that. He was pleased to forget the eight hackney coach. The Spanish ambassador is years of desertion, humiliation and disgust often at her toilet. But she is poorer than inflicted on the unhappy woman before he ever; so a man who frequents her much told permitted her to retire to a convent. Popu- me; her chemises are all wearing out and lar imagination represents Sister Louise as in holes; and her maid is ill-clothed, which having been buried with a ring on her finger reveals real poverty. She had not five -the ring given by the only man she had crowns the other day to pay a logs at ever loved. It is utterly false. Moreover, Sister Louise de la Misericordia would not quadrille. ... People can say of the king have kept a ring which Louise de la Vallière what they said of Czar Peter when he stayed in France, that he made love like a porter had never had the right to wear. They bur- ied her as all her sisters in religion were and paid in the same way. buried; and, obeying the usages of the or The king [1741] has suddenly taken to der, a little stone, bearing only her religious tapestry work. The fancy was so sudden name and the date of her death, was placed that it was a masterpiece of courtiership to above the mound that covered her. Alas, have gratified it. They had recourse to M. even the deepest humility is no safeguard de Gesvres, whose chief occupation it is; and against the basest outrage: those impious the courtier who went to Paris for what was hands which violated the pompous tombs needed-Wools, needles and framewas only of Saint Denis did not spare the modest two hours and a quarter in going and com- headstones of the Carmelites—and the same ing. This will increase the favor of M. de revolutionary tempest swept away, and per Gesvres and be a triumph to the cardinal's haps commingled, the ashes of Louis the | partizans. The king and Mme. de Mailly 379 Louis XIV. Louis xv. OF THE GREAT have quarreled like children; they are both fairs contained in the letters which were taken with a fancy for tapestry; Mme. de broken open. The plan they pursued, as I Mailly was so absorbed in that occupation have heard, was very simple. Six or seven that she did not answer when the king spoke clerks of the post office picked out the letters to her and questioned her. At last, the king, they were ordered to break open and took the being impatient, threatened her, took a knife impressions of the seals with a ball of quick- and cut her tapestry into four pieces; hor silver. Then they put each letter, with the rible quarrel and wrangle! Then it was seal downwards, over a glass of hot water, necessary to make it up, and for that an which melted the wax without injuring the extraordinary party took place, which is be paper. It was then opened, the desired mat- ing much talked about. ter extracted, and it was sealed again by The king's real plan is to give him means of the impression. This is the account [Cardinal de Fleury] 80 many petty an- of the matter I have heard. The postmaster- noyances that he will force him to leave all general carried the extracts to the king on and retire to Royaumont or elsewhere. The Sundays. He was seen coming and going on cardinal has pass-keys, to enter everywhere, this noble errand as openly as the ministers. at Versailles, Fontainebleau, Marly, or at Dr. Quesnay often, in my presence, flew into Compiègne. He lately found at Compiègne such a rage about that infamous minister, as that all the locks had been changed, so that he called him, that he foamed at the mouth. the day after his arrival he said to Barjac “I would as soon dine with the hangman as [his valet): “This key will not unlock; with the postmaster-general," said the doctor. unlock it, Barjac.” The latter said they - MME. DU HAUSSET, “Memoirs." must have changed the lock. The cardinal The service of “tasting the food” was was furious; he sent for one of the builders, more serious. There were in the year 1745 who hesitated what to say; but, as the five gentlemen serving at every great banquet, cardinal insisted on knowing by whose order | one of whom stood near the king and ordered the change had been made, “By the order in his presence the “tasting" by an officer of of the king, monseigneur," he said at last; the mouth. lle ordered also the tasting of "but his majesty forbade its being men-| the fruits, ices, etc.; and all the officers who tioned.” Certainly there is civility in that; were charged to do so were obliged to taste it is dismissing a man with great politeness of everything which they had prepared. They - MARQUIS D'ARGENSON, "Memoirs." dipped sippets into the stews and into the At the royal card table M. de Chauvelin other dishes which were to be served to the was seized with a fit of apoplexy, of which king and all these officers were obliged to eat he died. On seeing him fall, some one ex before the serving gentlemen. Two other gen- claimed, "M. de Chauvelin is ill.” “I11?”. tlemen put the plates upon the table, a third said the king, coldly turning around and gave drink to the king and drank a swallow looking at him; "he is dead; take him away; of the water, and one of the wine, and rinsed spades are trumps, gentlemen."--T. F. THIS out the glass of the king in a great cup ELTON-DYER, "Royalty in All Ages." which was divided between them. The chief It was the Comte de Charolais who shot of the goblet drank first and the serving gen- a tiler on the roof of a house for the pleasure tleman after him. After the tasting, the lat- of seeing him fall off. Louis XV. pardoned ter gave back his cup to the chief of the him, saying, “Understand me well. I will goblet who presented the saucer to the king. likewise pardon any one who shoots you.”— -ABBÉ SOULAVIE, “Memoirs of the Duke of Quarterly Review, April, 1879. Richelieu.” Two persons—the lieutenant of police An example of this slavery of all Ver- and postmaster-general--were very much in sailles to the laws of etiquette was to be Madame de Pompadour's confidence; the lat seen one day when the queen was making ter, however, became less necessary to her the rounds of the royal apartments with the from the time that the king communicated Duchess de Luynes. Her majesty, observing to M. de Choiseul the secret of the post office, some dust on the counterpane of the grand that is to say, the system of opening letters official bed known as the queen's lit de parade, and extracting matter from them; this had pointed it out to her companion. Madame de never been imparted to M. d'Argenson, in Luynes then sent for the official who bore the spite of the high favor he enjoyed. I have title of valet de chambre tapissier to the heard that M. de Choiseul abused the confi | queen, who was on duty in that part of the dence reposed in him and related to his palace. This post of tapestry talet de cham- friends the ludicrous stories and the love af. I bre was, by-the-bye, the sole official post Louis xv. Louis XVI. 380 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES which the poet Molière ever held at the court It happened once when the dauphine was of King Louis XIV., when it was not con in the queen's apartments she desired to drink sidered one of much consideration. To re- and asked Marie Leczinska to whom she sume, when the queen's valet de chambre had should address her request. The queen point- come, the Duchess de Luynes did not tell him ed out her lady-of-honor, Madame de Luynes, to remove the dust, but to go and fetch the who gave her order to a lackey and in due king's valet de chambre tapissier and show course the refreshment arrived, was served to the counterpane to him. He arrived, where Madame de Luynes, who in her turn handed upon he maintained to her majesty that this it to the dauphine, the latter's ladies, who particular dust did not concern him. He ad were also present, taking no part in the pro- mitted, however, that the queen's valet de cedure. Another time, Madame de Luynes chambre tapissier made the queen's bed, but, | being absent, the dauphine appealed to Ma- he said, as for the bed of parade, when the dame de Villars, the queen's mistress of the queen was not sleeping in it that article robes. After giving the order Madame de came under the heading of meuble-furniture. Villars left the room and did not return. He could not touch it, the dust then only The lackey, finding neither lady of honor nor concerning the officers of the garde meuble. mistress of the robes, offered the glass to the It took two entire days before it was dis dauphine himself. Then Mesdames de Bran- covered whose duty it was-in accordance cas and de Duras were up in arms. They with the charge he had purchased to re- thought the duty of serving the dauphine move the dust. In the meantime, if the i under these circumstances lay with them. queen had chosen to occupy the bed of pa After weighty discussion the queen and the rade, she would have been compelled to sleep ladies decided that the lackey ought to have in it dusty, or else dust it herself, for fear called one of the femmes de chambre. To of interfering with any one's prerogative. this, however, the lackey objected, saying he ANDREW C. F. HAGGARD, “The Real Louis was not an officer of the goblet, who alone XV.” was expected to serve a femme de chambre. The subject had to be discussed afresh at You perceive that I have been presented. headquarters and it was finally decided by The queen took great notice of me; none of the queen that, since an officer of the goblet the rest said a syllable. You are let into the was not qualified to enter her room, the king's bedchamber just as he has put on his lackey was to bring in the tray, place it on a shirt; he dresses and talks good-humoredly special table arranged for the purpose, and to a few, glares at strangers, goes to mass, then go and call the femme de chambre, who to dinner and a-hunting. The good old queen, was to lift the tray from the table and pre- who is like Lady Primrose in her face and sent it either to the lady of honor, the mis- Queen Caroline in the immensity of her cap, tress of the robes, or, in case of their ab- is at her dressing table, attended by two or sence, serve Marie-Josephe herself. In the three old ladies who are languishing to be in face of such wearisome formality it would Abraham's bosom, as the only bosom to which not have been surprising if the dauphine pre- they can hope for admittance. Thence you ferred to repress her thirst rather than ask go to the dauphin, for all is done in an hour. | for it to be assuaged. A similar difficulty He scarce stays a minute; indeed, poor crea occurred when the dauphin was laid up with ture, he is a ghost and cannot possibly last the toothache and, no one having supplied three months. The dauphiness is in her bed him with food, a message was sent to the chamber, but dressed and standing; looks | officers of the dauphin's table for a light re- cross, is not civil and has the true West past. When the dauphin dined with the phalian grace and accent. The four mes dauphine he was waited on by her ladies; dames, who are clumsy, plump, old wenches, when his meals were taken by himself he with a bad likeness to their father, stand in | was served by his own men servants. In this a bedchamber all in a row, with black cloaks instance it was found necessary to compro- and knitting-bags, looking good-humored mise, and the dishes were carried part ways and not knowing what to say. . . . Then by the ladies in waiting and handed over to you are carried to the dauphin's three boys, the dauphin's attendants at the door of his who, you may be sure, only bow and stare. study, finally being brought in triumph to ... The whole concludes with seeing the his bedside.--FRANK HAMEL, “The Dauphines dauphin's little girl dine, who is as round and of France.” fat as a pudding.-HORACE WALPOLE, letter, A striking instance of the steady de- October 3, 1765. I cline of Louis XV.'s popularity is afforded by 381 Louis XV. Louis XVI. OF THE GREAT comparing the number of masses said on his | which is more inexhaustible than any mine. behalf at Notre Dame, at the expense of He has been known to undertake or continue private individuals, during his three illnesses, a war without any resources other than the in 1744, 1757 and 1774. On the first occa titles of honor which he had to sell, and, sion no less than six thousand were said; on owing to a miracle of human conceit, his the second the number had fallen to six hun troops were paid, his towns fortified and his dred; while in 1774 only three persons were fleets equipped.” Those who want to form found willing to pay for a mass.-H. NOEL an idea of the immense variety of these WILLIAMS, “Madame Du Barry," quoting court places have only to consult one of the Bingham's "Marriages of the Bourbons.” almanacs published before the revolution, un-- der the title of Almanac de Versailles; they LOUIS XVI., 1754-1793. King of France. will find all sorts of burlesque officers, such With the best intention to be courteous as cravat-tier in ordinary to the king, or he would walk toward a man until he had captain of the greyhounds of the chamber, pushed him back to the wall; and if no re- which had probably cost more money than the mark occurred to him, as often happened, he work they gave to the holders. In the “État would burst into a loud laugh, turn on his de la France” for 1749 there is a whole chap- heels and walk off. The victim of this pub ter entitled “Greyhounds of the Chamber.” lic performance was always offended and, if The captain is M. Zachaire de Vassan, and he were not accustomed to the manners of | Michael de Vassan, his son, is his appointed the court, would take his leave in fierce anger, successor. He receives 2466 francs for his persuaded that the king had in some manner wages. There are also three valets and wished to insult him. guards attached to the greyhounds of the At Fontainebleau the guests were given chamber. There are, moreover, the little dogs nothing more than a bare apartment. They of the king's chamber, who are under the care of M. Antoine, that gentleman receiving 1446 were obliged to find their own furniture, linen, etc., and to provide their own food. As francs as wages, besides 200 francs for his it happened, all the ministers and chief offi- livery. The pastry cook of the king has to cials had their own houses and the princes provide seven biscuits a day for his majesty's little dogs.-LOUIS DE LOMÊNIE, “Beaumar- kept a table for their suites, so that it was chais and His Times.” easy to secure an invitation to dinner or supper. But no effort was made to procure The ceremony of lever and coucher only anything but lodging. If the castle was full, | inspired Louis XVI. with distaste, ti and a large portion of it was in such bad re from a sense of duty, he would sometimes re- pair as to be uninhabitable, the guests (or turn from a quiet breakfast with the queen rather those who were admitted, for names at Trianon and humbly suffer himself to be had to be put down) were distributed undressed in order to be dressed again ac- throughout the town; their names were writ cording to etiquette.-Quarterly Review, ten in chalk upon the doors, as though an January, 1882. army were halting upon the march.--COUN The king was very fond of mechanics and TESS DE BOIGNY, “Memoirs.” his usual work of recreation was making of She was not exactly a noble lady—she locks.-JOSEPH WEBER (Lally Tollendal), was the wife of an officer of the king's pantry, "Memoirs of Marie Antoinette.” controleur de la bouche, or, to be more digni Above the king's private library there fied and exact, controleur clerc d'office de la was an apartment containing a furnace, two maison du roi, who, by the way, had the anvils and a number of iron tools, with a same Christian name as Beaumarchais, being great variety of locks of different kinds made called Pierre Augustin Franquet. The office by the king. It was here that the infamous held by the husband was one of the thousand Gamin, who afterwards accused the king of functions attached to the court which our trying to poison him and was rewarded for kings used to create formerly when they were the calumny by a pension of twelve thousand in want of money, and which, when they had francs, had taught him the trade of a lock- once been sold, could be transmitted by the smith. Gamin, with all his coarseness, had holder to heirs or to other purchasers, if acquired such an ascendency over the king the prince gave his consent. It is in refer- that he treated him as a master workman ence to this that Montesquieu says: “The does his apprentice. Gamin said to me him- king of France has no gold mines like the self, “The king is passionately fond of the king of Spain, his neighbor, but he has a far occupation but, not wishing that the queen greater wealth in the vanity of his subjects, I and court should know that he employs him- Lonis XVI. Louis XVIII. 382 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES self at it, he steals away from them secretly the ten years of his exile upon his estate at and comes to me to forge and file. We were Châteauneuf in Berry. When he left his forced to employ a thousand stratagems to estate one of his valets de chambre was left carry our anvils without being known.” | in charge: as he happened to be at Versailles Above the forge was an open terrace where he was now waiting at table and was in the king used to sit and observe with a his master's room the next day when he re- telescope the persons walking in the garden ceived orders to go and inquire after the or passing along the road to Paris.-MADAME health of the Prince of Chios. M. de Maure- CAMPAN, “Memoirs." pas saw him stifle a burst of laughter, glanc- Just then a lady came through the gate. ing at his companions. “What are you laughing at, Dubois?” “You know, sir, it is She had a pretty little spaniel with her, which, before she noticed it, ran close up to the Prince of Chios.” “And why should he the king. Making a low courtesy, she called amuse you ?” “You are making fun of me; you know him quite well.” “Of course I do; the dog back in haste; but, as the animal I see him every day." "Have you really turned to run towards its mistress, the king, who had a large cane in his hand, broke its failed to recognize him? But it cannot be.” back with a blow of his cudgel. Then, amid "Come now; you weary me with your mys. teries. Tell me plainly what you mean." the screams and tears of the lady, and as "Well, my lord, the Prince of Chios is fat the poor little beast was breathing its last, the king, delighted with his exploit, con- Guillot.” “And whom do you call fat Guil- lot?” “Well, my lord, I cannot understand tinued his walk, slouching rather more than usual and laughing like any lout of a peas- how you could have forgotten fat Guillot. He ant. ... We had never seen anything more used to come up to the castle pretty often to work. He lived in a little white house coarse than the laugh, or more gratuitously ill-natured than the act, though it was well near the bridge; and then his son—your lord- in keeping with the cuts of his whip with ship cannot possibly have forgotten little which the king used to gratify any hair- Pierre, who was so polite and quick that my dressers or priests who were unlucky enough lady would always have him hold the bridle to come in his way when hunting.–GENERAL of her donkey. I see now that your lord- PAUL THIÉBAULT, “Memoirs.” ship remembers him. I recognized him at once and fat Guillot recognized me.” M. de The taste of the court for foreigners was Maurepas bound his servant to silence; but turned to advantage by two illustrious char once on the track it was immediately dis- acters exiled from their country by the Mus covered that the heirs to the empire of the sulman persecution, the Prince of Chios and East were simply two peasants from Berry, Justiniana, his son, who were directly de who had been mystifying to their own advan- scended from the Eastern emperors and tage the king of France, his government and begged hospitality from Louis XVI. at the his court for the past few years. How had outset of his reign. This was granted them in they conceived this plan, whence did they full measure as became a king of France. Un- come and whither did they go? To these til the claims which he was making to the questions I have no answer and know only Seraglio for the restitution of his property the episode in the lives of these two clever ad- should have been admitted, the Prince of venturers.--COUNTESS DE BOIGNE. Chios was begged to accept a handsome pen- sion, while Prince Justiniana entered the Let us return to the memoirs of Barras. French service and took command of a crack The old director therein mentions that he regiment. These Greek princes lived for some assisted after Robespierre's death in opening years on the royal bounty and were well re- the ditch where Louis XVI. was buried, and ceived by the best company at Paris and Ver- that he had a lot of quicklime thrown on the sailles. Their accent and a somewhat pro- bones of the unhappy king, and then, in an nounced foreign bearing assured their suc expiatory spirit (singular mode of expia- cess. One day, when they had been dining tion!), he disentombed from the gaping foss for the hundredth time with the Comte de the body of Robespierre, in order, he says, to Maurepas, the comte saw the Prince of Chios, place the executioner beneath the victim. who was sitting by him, grow pale and agi- Barras made this incredible statement at the tated. “You are not feeling well, prince?" | time that what were believed to be Louis "It is nothing; it will pass away." But his XVI.'s remains were being removed to the indisposition increased until he was obliged memorial tomb in the rue d'Anjou, and he to leave the table and to call to his son to mentioned in proof of his assertion that they accompany him. J. de Maurepas had spent | ought to come across silver shoe buckles and 383 Louis XVI. OF THE GREAT Louis XVIII. gold breeches buckles, as Robespierre always may obtain anything. While I was at Elba wore on his nether garments and shoes an actress named Mademoiselle Rancour died. buckles of different metals. This turned out She was greatly beloved by the public and io be true, but he was begged not to mention | an immense concourse of people went to the matter any further, and Robespierre re | her funeral. When they arrived at the church poses this day beneath the marble monument of St. Roque, in order to have the funeral of Louis XVI.--COUNT DE VIEL CASTEL, services celebrated over the corpse, they found “Memoirs." the doors shut and admittance was refused. LOUIS XVIII., 1755-1824. King of France. Nor would they allow the corpse to be buried in consecrated ground, as by the old Promptness is the virtue of kings is a regulations of these priests people of her saying I have more than once heard from profession were excluded from Christian Louis XVIII., and sometimes he descanted burial. The populace broke open the door upon it and explained it. He was so faithful to it himself that, being wheeled into dinner with sledges, and, perceiving that there was no priest to perform the funeral services, in his chair, the doors were thrown open and they became clamorous—their rage knew no the chair was seen to enter always while the bounds. They cried, “Au château, au châ- clock was actually striking six.- LORD STAN- teau des Tuileries. We will see what right HOPE, “Conversations with Wellington," quot- these priests have to refuse interment to a ing Wellington. Christian corpse.” Their fury was heightened One fine morning one of the king's valets, still more that the curate of St. Roque, who who was devoted to M. de Blancas, came into had refused Christian burial to the corpse of his majesty's room and handed him a note Mademoiselle Rancour, had been in the con- from an ambassador who said that, unable stant habit of receiving presents from her, to resist the yearnings of his heart, he had both for himself and for the poor (for she come to Paris merely to see the king, to hear was extremely charitable), and had dined his voice, to fall at his feet and, having thus and supped with her repeatedly. Moreover, laid in a supply of happiness for several that he had actually administered the sacra- months, to start away again. M. de Blacas ment to her a few days before her demise. had wrongly speculated upon the weakness of The populace cried out, “Here is ... a Louis XVIII., who, as he knew, wished to priest, who administers the sacrament to a be loved for himself. The king gave a dry woman and afterwards denies her Christian verbal answer: “I receive ambassadors only burial. If she was worthy of the sacrament, when introduced by the Minister of Foreign surely she is worthy of burial. He receives Affairs.”—COUNTESS DE BOIGNE, "Mem- her benefactions, eats her dinners and refuses oirs." her body interment.” About fifty thousand of them went to the Tuileries to seek redress General Rapp, being on duty attending from the king. the king at St. Cloud, was informed of the An architect, who was in the inner apart- death of Bonaparte while he was breakfast- ments at the time, told me that he was ing with his majesty. At first the general present when Louis was first informed could not credit the intelligence, but on the of it. Not being then aware that the mob king's assuring him that he had received was so numerous, Louis said: “The curate oflicial information of it the night before, the is right; these players are ungodly gentry; general could not restrain his tears, and they are excommunicated and have no right audibly declared that the death of the former to Christian burial.” A few minutes after- general, whose aide-de-camp he had been for wards Blacas entered in great fright and fifteen years, most sensibly affected him; “I said that there were about seventy thousand am not an ungrateful man,” said he, and im- furious people about the palace and he was mediately retired home. The king, pleased afraid they would pull it down about them. with the faithful conduct of the general, sent Louis, almost out of his senses with fear, for him after mass and kindly addressed him cried out to give immediate orders to have in the following manner: "Rapp, I know that the body buried according to the rites of the the news I have received has been very church, and actually hurried some persons afflicting to you; it does honor to your heart away to see it carried out immediately. He and I love and esteem you the more for it.” was not quit of his terror for several days.- -The Athenæum (Boston), November 15, BARRY E. O'MEARA, "Napoleon in Exile." 1821. (Wellington tells the same anecdote in a These Bourbons are the most timorous | letter to the Viscount Castlereagh, dated race imaginable; put them in fear and you | Paris, January 19, 1815.) Louis XVIII. Louis Philippe 384 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The duke said that once dining with enjoy it long, for he died on November 16th him en famille-as that royal party always of this same year.-L. L. T. GOSSELIN (G. dined—with the Duchess of Angoulême and | Lenôtre), "Romances of the French Revolu- of Berni present—there was a dish of very tion." early strawberries, which the king very de- When Louis XVIII. returned to France liberately turned into his own plate, even and Fouché was his minister of police, the to the last spoonful, and ate with a quantity king asked Fouché whether during his (the of sugar and cream, without offering any to king's) exile, he had not set spies over him, the ladies. That is exactly what Queen Anne and who they were. Fouché hesitated to relates William the Third to have done with reply. But on the king insisting he said, a dish of early green peas, she being then “If your majesty presses for an answer it princess and at table with her sister Queen was the Duke de Blacas to whom the matter Mary.-STANHOPE. was confided.” “And how much did you pay The Marquis d'Avaray, master of the | him?" said the king. “Deux cents mille robes, presuming on his long intimacy with livres de rente, sire." "Ah, so," said the the king, for whom he and his had been ever king, “then he has played fair; we went ready to sacrifice their lives and fortunes, halves."-HENRY GREVILLE, "Diary." ventured one day to take a pinch of snuff After the restoration in 1814, among the out of the royal box. The king said nothing titled followers of Napoleon who were the but immediately threw away the rest of the most anxious to obtain employment at the snuff in the box.-Cornhill Magazine, March, court of Louis XVIII., none showed more 1877. servility and assiduity to accomplish his One day in 1820, when Baron Pasquier purpose than Fouché, Duke of Otranto. He was strolling along the quai, he perceived an at last had a private interview with the king, old man, humble, bent and almost deformed, when he expressed his desire to dedicate his haggling with a bookseller over the price life to his service. Louis replied, “You have of a heap of books which he was offering for occupied under Bonaparte a position of great sale. He glanced at the volumes and saw trust, which must have given you opportuni- that they formed a complete set of Tallien's ties of knowing everything that passed, and paper, “Le Ami des Citoyens." As he sur of gaining an insight into the characters of reptitiously raised his eyes towards the old men in public life, which could not easily oc- man, he started with astonishment. “Mon cur to others. Were I to decide on attach- sieur Tallien!” he exclaimed bowing. “I do ing you to my person, I should previously not deny it,” replied the former president expect that you should frankly inform me of the convention. There were a silence and what were the measures and who were the a feeling of restraint on both sides, but espe-| men that you employed in those days to ob- cially on the minister's part. “For a long tain information. I do not allude to my time past,” continued his excellency, not stay at Verona, or at Mittau—I was then without a shade of embarrassment, “I have surrounded by numerous adherents—but at been looking for the 'Ami des Citoyens,' for | Hartwell, for instance--were you well ac- my library of revolutionary works does not quainted with what passed under my roof ?" contain your paper." "I am happy to be “Yes, sire; every day the motions of your able to offer you the last copy,” resumed Tal majesty were known to me.” “Eh, what, lien with a gentleman's polished grace. The surrounded as I was by trusted friends, who minister bowed, took the volumes and was could have betrayed me? Who thus abused putting his hand into his pocket to pay my confidence? I insist on your naming him Tallien-but did not dare to do so. "Mon immediately.” “Sire, you ask me to say what sieur," he gravely said, “I shall do myself would wound your majesty's heart.” “Speak, the honor of calling at your house to thank sir; kings are but too subject to be de- you.” The baron related the anecdote at the ceived." "If you command it I must own king's gathering that evening. Louis XVIII. that I was in correspondence with the Duke had a sense of humor and particularly that of Aumont.” “What? DePienne, who pos- kind of humor that is not exempt from a sessed my entire confidence! I must acknowl- spice of cruelty. “Pasquier,” said he, "goedge," added the king with a malicious and thank Mr. Tallien and beg him to ac smile, "he was very poor, he had many ex- cept a pension of a hundred louis from my | penses and living is very dear in England. private purse.” What a revenge for a Well, then, M. Fouché, it was I who dictated brother of Louis XVI.! Tallien accepted, to him those letters which you received every for he was dying of hunger. But he did not | week and I gave up to him twelve thousand 385 Louis XVIII. Louis Philippe OF THE GREAT out of the forty-eight thousand francs which have gone off in this manner, something might you so readily remitted to obtain an exact be made out of your idea of this morning- account of all that was passing in my fam that the king threatened to have himself ily.”—THOMAS RAIKES, “Journal,” March 7, placed on the bridge to be blown up along 1835. with it; there is in it matter for a good news- paper article. See to it.” “I did see to it," Although the king had established his continued Beugnot, “the article appeared next residence there he [Blücher] had not seen day but one; Louis XVIII. must have been fit to spare him the spectacle of a Prussian startled at such a burst on his part, but bivouac installed in the Place du Carrousel. eventually he accepted the reputation of it ... At the far end of Paris the magnificent with perfect self-possession." This account bridge recently constructed opposite the Mili- is taken from the Memoirs of the Comte de tary School was threatened with destruction. Beugnot, published by his grandson in 1866. Its misfortune was to be called the Pont -Quarterly Review, October, 1867. d'Iena, thus consecrating the memory of one of the severest defeats suffered by the Prus It was only in view of the absolute ne- sian army. A mine had been laid under two cessity of having the Tuileries cleaned that of its piers and it was to be blown up on the king consented to leave this palace for a the following day, when Louis XVIII, author- moment. It was inhabited by more than ized M. Talleyrand to state that he would go eight hundred people who were by no means himself and stand over the mine, so that, invariably clean in their habits. There were if it were seen fit, he might be blown to kitchens on every floor and an absolute lack pieces at the same time as the bridge.-CHAN of cellars and sinks; consequently all kinds CELLOR PASQUIER, “Memoirs.” of filth collected and made such a smell that one was almost suffocated when going up the I do not know what fly more spiteful staircase of the Pavilion de Flor and cross- than usual had bitten the ferocious Blücher, ing the corridors of the second floor. These who was commander-in-chief in Paris; but appalling odors eventually reached the king's the king was suddenly interrupted in the rooms and decided him to make the shortest midst of his work and told that the Prussian possible stay at St. Cloud. He would only general was preparing on his own authority leave Paris when driven to extremes. I have to blow up the Pont d'Iena. “Go tell him," heard that one of those visionaries, of whom replied Louis, “that I only beg him to give the king was always ready to ask questions, me time to come and place myself upon that had told him during his exile that he would monument before he destroys it.” The bridge return to the Tuileries but would not die was respected.-DUCHESS DE REGGIO, “Mem- there. The worse his health became the more oirs of Marshal Oudinot.” earnestly did he cling to the place where he On hearing that Blücher was about to was not to die.-COUNTESS DE BOIGNE. blow up the bridge of Jena, he [Talleyrand] The marshal, ever mindful of Napoleon's desired Comte Beugnot to go to the mar activity, had to hurry the poor king, and shal and represent the king's distress in the Louis's portmanteau, with his six clean strongest language. “Do you wish me to say shirts and his old pair of slippers, got lost that the king is about to have himself car on the road. This loss, more than anything ried bodily on the bridge, to be blown up else, brought home to the monarch his piti- with it, if the marshal persists?" "Not pre able condition. “They have taken my shirts," cisely; people do not believe us made for said he to Macdonald; “I had not too many such acts of heroism; but something good of them in the first place, but what I regret and strong, you understand, something very still more is the loss of my slippers. Some strong.” When Beugnot reached the Prus day, my dear marshal, you will appreciate sian headquarters, Blücher was at his favor- the value of slippers that have taken the ite place of resort, a gambling house (No. 113 shape of your feet."-R. P. DUNN-PATTISON, in the Palais Royal); the chief of his staff "Napoleon's Marshals." showed considerable reluctance in sending for him and he arrived very much out of temper LOUIS PHILIPPE, 1773-1850. King of at the unseasonable interruption. After a France. short colloquy he consented to withdraw the Before signing a death warrant he devoted order for the destruction of the bridge pro. himself to the most intimate research, in vided the name were changed. When all was order to find some point of justification by satisfactorily arranged, Beugnot hurried which he could reasonably exercise the power back to Talleyrand, who said, “Since things I of clemency. In his councils he actually Louis Philippe Lyon, General 386 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES pleaded the cause of his would-be assassins.- would send you some.”_W. F. MONYPENNY, LUCIEN DELABROSSE, “Jules Grévy," quoting “Life of Benjamin Disraeli," quoting Disraeli. Victor Cousin. His awkwardness caused an accident to Riflard, old umbrella. This was a nick- befall me which was fortunately not attend- name given to Louis Philippe from an old ed with any bad consequences. A dish of ham umbrella of enormous size which he used to was handed to me, and I took a slice to which carry at the time when he affected the simple another slice was hanging. It fell on the manners of the bourgeois and tried to curry | dress of the queen, next to whom I was favor with the shopkeepers.--Putnam's Maga seated, but her majesty did not notice it. I zine, October, 1855. did not lose my presence of mind and, the Bismarck has averred more than once moment the queen was looking another way, I made a bold move and seized the slice of that Louis Philippe, during his own reign, ham and put it into my coat pocket.—COUNT concocted news unfavorable to his dynasty VON BEUST, “Memoirs." and speculated upon the results in the Eng- lish stock market.-ALBERT D. VANDAM, “Un Louis XVIII., remembering the ancient der Currents of the Second Empire.” feuds of the family, seemed resolved to re- Louis Philippe began his dinner with vive them also and employed various con- four plates of different kinds of soup; in a temptible modes of estranging the Duke of fifth plate his majesty usually mixed por- Orléans more completely from the legitimate party. Whenever it became the duty of tions of the four varieties he had eaten and appeared to enjoy this singular culinary com- Louis Philippe and his suite to appear at court, the king took care to point out to him bination. During the latter period of his the distance at which he was still placed in reign his physicians were alarmed at the the succession and to resuscitate those em- prodigious amount of food the monarch con- bers of acerbity which it had been wiser on trived to consume and to distract his atten- tion from the actual occupation of eating pre- his part to have left sleeping forever. The scribed a system of spreading marrow, caviare Duchess of Orléans, being a princess royal, was directed by the chamberlain to enter the and such like condiments on thin slices of toast, which the king then distributed to his palace by the grand doorway, which stood wide open to admit her, while orders were favorite guests; thus a portion of the time he spent at table was occupied and the king issued that one valve only should be opened rescued from the danger of depletion.-AN- to receive her husband, whose title of Most THONY B. North PEAT, “Gossip from Paris," Serene was still inferior to hers.-Rev. G. N. WRIGHT, “Life and Times of Louis Philippe." citing ALEXANDRE DUMAS'S “Causeries Culi- naires." At Christiania a curious circumstance oc- In the king's time there never was a din- curred to startle him with fear of discovery. One day when about to return with a family ner given at the Tuileries—no matter how stately; I have seen it in the gallery of Diana from the country, he heard one of the party with a hundred guests—without a huge smok- call out, “The carriage of the Duke of Or- ing ham being placed at a certain time before léans!” His first impression was that he the king. C'pon this he operated like a con- was recognized, but, preserving his presence juror. The rapidity and precision with of mind and first trying his ground, “Why," which he carved it were a marvelous feat: said he to the person in question, "did you the slices were vast, but wafer-thin. It was call out the carriage of the Duke of Orléans his great delight to carve this ham and, in- and what connection have you with the deed, it was a wonderful performance. Ile prince?” “None at all," was the tranquilizing answer, “but when I was at Paris whenever I told me one day that he had learned the trick from a waiter at Bucklersbury, where came from the opera I heard them calling he used to dine once at an eating-house for 9d. out “The carriage of the Duke of Orléans.' per head. One day he called out to an honest Having been more than once stunned with Englishman that he was going to send him the noise, I just took it into my head to re- peat the call.”-Blackwood's Edinburgh Maga- a slice of the ham, and the honest English- man--some consul, if I recollect right, who zine, November, 1840. had been kind to the king in America in During Queen Victoria's visit to Eu in the days of his adversity-not used to courts, 1843, her host was constantly telling her replied that he would rather not take any. | stories of his former poverty and not in a The king drew up and said, "I did not ask cheerful, retrospective manner, but with a you whether you would take any; I said I l depressing fear of a like future being in store 387 Louis Philippe OF THE GREAT Lyon, General for him. One morning while the young ma tale: The classic instance is that of "General” tron and the "competitor of le père éternel,” Watson. "What a damned fool the man is" as Princess Clementine, the mother of Prince --then, after an interval, “Eh, not such a Ferdinand of Bulgaria, called her father, damned fool as I thought”; then another in- were strolling in the garden, the latter of terval. “Egud, it was I who was the damned fered his royal guest a peach. The queen fool.”-ATLAY. seemed at a loss how to skin it, seeing which, Haywood told of Madame de Genlis-an Louis Philippe took a large clasp knife from "invented pleasantry"-as he admits, that his pocket. “When a man has been a poor she kept her books in detached cases, the devil like myself, obliged to live upon forty | male authors in one and the female authors sous a day, he always carries a knife. I in another. “I suppose she did not wish to might have dispensed with it for the last add to her library," said Lyndhurst.-ATLAY. few years, but I do not wish to lose the habit. One does not know what may happen," he Sir R. Heron has a story how Eyre, the said. The queen was deeply affected, the surveyor, called upon his friend and neigh- tears stood in her eyes and she did not re- bor, Lord Lyndhurst, soon after he ratted. cover her wounded spirit for hours.-VAN- “I find,” said he, “your lordship has changed your politics.” DAM. “Yes," said Lady Lyndhurst, "and is ready to change them again if you I remember reading that when he was will make it worth his while.”—PERCY FITZ- seventy-five years old and king of France, GERALD, The Gentleman's Magazine, April, and when the great revolutionary movement 1884. of 1848, the most conspicuous effect of which was to sweep him from his throne, was threat- Lord Lyndhurst was vain of his personal ening the existing order of things, he told a | appearance, and not without reason. To the visitor that he was the only monarch in last he dressed so as to appear young and Europe fit to reign under the conditions then wore a brown wig. The scandalous world al- existing. Whatever the visitor may have leged that he provided himself with no fewer thought of the truth or taste of the remark, than twelve wigs, so constructed from time he felt that, inasmuch as it was made by a to time he might seem to have had his hair king, the proper thing to be done would be cut. For example, on the last day of Decem- to make an assenting reply which involved a ber his wig was shaggy; on the first of Janu- compliment, at hearing which the king ary it was a crop. The crop in due course laughed and said: "Oh, I don't mean that, of time gave place to a wig with hair slight- but the outlook for royalty is bad just now, ly longer, till he appeared at last surmounted and I am the only man of them who ever by the wig which had done duty on the blacked his own boots and I can do it again." previous 30th of December. I believe this -L. F. STARRETT, "General Henry Knox." to have been a true story.-G. R. GLEIGH, “Personal Reminiscences of the Duke of Wel- LYNDHURST, John Singleton Copley, Baron lington." Lyndhurst, 1772-1863. Chancellor of Eng. LYON, Nathaniel, 1818-1861. American gen- land. eral. I recollect many years ago, when I was One night as we were sitting in his quar- studying in chambers, having a neighbor who was learning to scrape on the violin. I was ters at Fort Riley, a corporal of his com- at first disposed to complain of my neigh- pany came to him with a complaint against some act of his first sergeant. Something bor's innocent pastime as an annoyance, but in the man's words or manner-though as far on a little reflection I said to myself, “Is it wise in me to object? Let me see whether I as I could see he was perfectly respectful cannot stand it without distraction. If I and within his rights-roused Lyon to furi- can, what an admirable discipline it will be ous anger. He abused him in the most vio- in pursuing my mathematical studies. After lent and irrational language, rushing excit- a time I ceased to hear the ‘nuisance' as it edly at him and with blows and kicks eject- was called; it made no impression on me.”- ed him from the room. Then he walked the J. B. ATLAY, “The Victorian Chancellors," floor, still uttering invectives against the quoting Lyndhurst in "Ilansard.” unlucky corporal. I said nothing, though he saw clearly from my manner that I thought On the bench his lips would often be his conduct unjustifiable. Presently he sat seen to move, but no sound proceeding from down. He was silent, though his red face them would be heard by the bar. The asso- i wis still greatly heightened in color and his ciate sitting beneath him could tell another small, keen, blue eyes flashed with anger Lyon, General Macaulay 388 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that was not yet entirely subdued. We sat | reason, sergeant ?” “No, captain; only he for fully half an hour without a word passing | thinks that the captain is displeased with between us. Then he said, “You don't like him." "IIe has every reason to think so. my conduct." "No," I answered. “You think Order him to report to me immediately." I have acted wrongly?” “Yes.” “So I have,” | The sergeant again saluted and departed. he admitted; “I have behaved like a brute. | “Lyon,” said I, "if you attack that man There is a good deal of the theological devil again, as you did just now, I shall put you in me. I ought to be placed in arrest, tried in arrest. I am not going to give you an- by court martial and dismissed from the other opportunity to reproach me for neglect service for conduct unbecoming an officer and of duty.” “Mind your own business," he a gentleman.” “I entirely agree with you," | retorted. “You neglected your duty just I replied. “You ought to have charges pre- now and you hope by a tardy recognition of ferred against you,” he rejoined. “Why?” your obligations to salve your conscience.” "Do you remember the twenty-fourth article In a few minutes the corporal appeared, sa- of war? As you seem to have forgotten its | luted and stood at attention. Then Lyon provisions I will read it to you." He took the | showed his magnanimity. “Corporal,” he "Army Regulations" from the table and read: said, advancing to the man with outstretched “All officers of whatever condition soever have hand, “I acted towards you a few minutes power to part and quell all quarrels, frays ago in a way that was not only unofficerlike and disorders, whether amongst persons be but was extremely disgraceful and indefen- longing to his own or to another corps, regi sible from every point of view. I have sent ment, troop, battery or company and to order for you to express my regret and to tell you officers into arrest." ... "You have clearly that I shall not reduce you to the ranks but violated your duty. My conduct was unmili shall recommend you to the colonel of the tary and utterly contemptible and inexcus regiment for the first vacancy that occurs in able and"- . At this point there was a the grade of sergeant. You have always knock at the door and in answer to Lyon's been an excellent non-commissioned officer. I response the first sergeant entered. “I have am sorry that I am not as good a captain come to report to the captain,” said he, salut as you are a corporal. I want to shake hands ing, “that Corporal Allender wishes to be re- with you.”—DR. WILLIAM A. HAMMOND, duced to the ranks.” “Does he give any ' "Annals of Iowa,” 1900. M MACAULAY, Thomas Babington, Lord, 1800- , the same way that the judicial faculty could 1859. English historian and statesman. I have been predicated of Jeremy Bentham or The penal code (of India) Macaulay main John Austin. Some of these illustrations, ly and in most part entirely drew up. This which are to be considered as decided cases, occupied his best attention for some of the offend against the wise maxim, “De minimis best years of his life and was the only prac- non curat lex” [The law does not trouble with tical direction in which he turned his im trifles]; some refer in the most serious tragic mense powers. This code has never been spirit to practical jokes; others are merely printed in popular form, and exists only as a sensations and picturesque bits of stories. Blue Book, but it contains some of Macau The legislation respecting practical jokes is lay's most characteristic writing. The im simply absurd. We believe that in his youth portant document consists of (1) Prefatory Macaulay was subjected to annoyances of Letter to the Governor General, (2) the this kind; there is a story of his having been body of the code, with explanations, excep. held forcibly down and shaved by some of tions and illustrations, (3) Notes numbered his school fellows. ... Here are one or from A to R. The copious use of illustra- two bookish offenses which have a strong tions is pointed out as a striking peculiarity Macaulay tinge about them: “A, being ex- of the code, which was designed at once to be asperated at a passage in a book which is a statute book and a collection of decided lying on the counter of Z, a bookseller, cases. We suppose, however, that this was snatches it up and tears it to pieces. A has the first time in legal history in which a set not committed theft, as he has not acted of imaginary cases, which might almost be fraudulently, though he may have committed called “Sketches and Stories,” were deliber criminal trespass and mischief. A takes up a ately given as legal precedents. The illus | book belonging to Z and reads it, not having trations strike us as indicating very strongly | any right over the book and not having the that Macaulay had not a judicial mind in 1 consent of the person entitled to authorize 389 Lyon, General OF THE GREAT Macaulay A to do so. A trespasses."-Quarterly Re | hurt his hand and was reduced to send for view, July, 1874. a barber. After the operation he asked what With metaphysics he did not meddle. He was to pay. “Oh, sir," said the man, “what- was once induced to read an English trans- ever you usually give the person who shaves lation of Kant and confessed the only thing you." "In that case," said Macaulay, “I in it he could understand was a Latin quo- should give you a great gash on each cheek.” tation from Persius.—HERBERT PAUL, Anglo- -MARGARET MACAULAY, “Diary.” Saxon Review, March, 1900. He used to amuse himself at Cambridge, and probably later in life, with such sports The pleasant coffee room of the old "Star as horn-blowing, until his neighbors wished and Garter” at Richmond—which was burned him far enough away.-DR. A. J. H. CRESPI, down in 1869—was patronized by statesmen, The Gentleman's Magazine, January, 1891. politicians and writers. On Saturday eve- nings it was regularly visited by a middle- “You a bad stomach,” I exclaimed; "you, aged gentleman of rather broad stature, with who can eat a pound of tough meat and all gray hair and a rather large shirt collar which sorts of things that no one else can touch ?" formed a conspicuous feature of his attire. “But then I always have the heartburn after- He would dine always alone at a particular wards." I then began to sum up all his corner table and after dinner it was his sources of happiness. “You have many at. humor to build up before him a pyramid of tached friends.” “Attached friends ? No. I tumblers and wine glasses, which he topped might count them all on my fingers. No, no. with a decanter. Occasionally the whole I have two delightful sisters, and I do not structure would topple over and litter the complain of my circumstances; but, if I have table with its ruins. Then the middle-aged any superior happiness, it springs, depend gentleman would rise, pay his bill, including on it, from my superior virtues." And from the charge for broken glass, and depart. The this rock we could not succeed in moving waiters knew him well. He was Thomas Bab- ow him well. He was Thomas Bab. | him.-MARGARET MACAULAY. ington Lord Macaulay.-MICHAEL MACDON. Some of the accounts of the feats of AGH, Cornhill Magazine, September, 1898. his memory are positively incredible. He Ballads are a favorite quarry of the prided himself immensely on his memory and hunter Street ballads and songs of every it is related that on one occasion, when it kind he buys with avidity. At one bookstall, played him false, he was so grievously cha- the end of his peregrinations this afternoon, grined as actually to leave the room in his he buys a bundle of ballads, mostly broad- distress with tears standing in his eyes.- sides, coarsely printed and adorned with the CRESPI. roughest of woodcuts. As he walks along One evening, at Edinburgh, Jeffrey bet- Macaulay notices that a small crowd of chil. ted a copy of "Paradise Lost” with Macaulay dren, who have taken much interest in his as to a line in the poem. The next morning purchase, are following him; and, to his in Macaulay called with a handsomely bound tense amusement, he overhears them discuss copy. “There," he said, "is your book; I ing among themselves whether or not the have lost, but I have read it through once gentleman is going to sing.-G. L. APPERSON, more and I will now make you another bet Chambers's Journal, January 22, 1898. that I can repeat the whole.” Jeffrey took him at his word and put him on in passage His clothes, though ill put on, were good after passage without finding him once at and his wardrobe was always enormously fault.-Quarterly Review, April, 1877. overstocked. Later in life he indulged him- self in an apparently inexhaustible succes. In this classic gallery Macaulay is to- sion of handsomely embroidered waistcoats, night in great force. Once in the full flow of which he would regard with much compla talk he gives his companions few chances to cency. He was unhandy to a degree quite un say much. He is a brilliant monologist, but exampled in the experience of all who knew knows little of the give and take of what is him. When in the open air he wore perfect truly called conversation. He touches an ly new dark kid gloves, into the fingers of amazing variety of subjects. Some chance al- which he never succeeded in inserting his own lusion by a member of the company happens more than half way. After he had sailed for to start him on the Fathers of the Church India there were found in his chambers be and Macaulay forthwith expatiates on that tween fifty and sixty strops, hacked into not too interesting topic. He mentions that strips and splinters, and razors without be. while in India he read the writings of St. ginning or end. About the same period he | Chrysostom, gives the substance of a long Macaulay Mansfield, Lord 390 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES sermon by the Saint of the Golden Mouth, A parliamentary election took place while and thence travels on to some obscure points, the two friends were still quartered together in history, until Lady Holland, tiring of sub- in Jesus lane. A tumult in the neighboring jects of this kind, interrupts the flow and | street announced that the citizens were ex- shunts the talker on to a new track of ideas pressing their sentiments by the only chan- by saying, “Pray, Macaulay, what was the nel which was open to them before the days origin of a doll? When were dolls first men of reform; and Macaulay, to whom any ex- tioned in history?” Macaulay at once re citement of a political nature was absolutely plies by explaining that the little girls of irresistible, dragged Thornton to the scene ancient Rome had dolls, which they offered of action, and found the mob breaking the up to Venus when they reached a certain age, windows of the Hoop hotel, the headquarters and quotes Persius in support of this state of the successful candidates. His ardor was ment. From dolls he gets on to Milman's cooled by receiving a dead cat full in the “History of Christianity,” to Strauss's “Life face. The man who was responsible for the of Christ”—then a comparatively new book animal came up and apologized very civilly, -and thence to the subject of myths in gen assuring him that there was no town and eral. Macaulay is indeed a wonderful font gown feeling in the matter, and that the cat of rare and curious lore about every con had been meant for Mr. Adeane. “I wish," ceivable subject. His hearers may feel some replied Macaulay, “that you had meant it what exhausted, somewhat submerged be for me and hit Mr. Adeane."-TREVELYAN. neath the flow of learning and apt quotation; but Macaulay leaves off as unexhausted and MACDONALD, Jacques Étienne Joseph Alex. as inexhaustible as he began.-APPERSON. andre, 1765-1840. French general. Macdonald made a very neat hit when "A succession of sonorous tunes. "The hearing a crabbed general ask, “What has Campbells are coming' was one.”—Letter been the use of these Irish ?” he replied with written by Macaulay. This is the only au- a bow, "To be killed instead of Frenchmen." thentic instance on record of Macaulay's hav- ing known one tune from another.-G. 0. TRE Macdonald's earliest duel was with a VELYAN, "Life of Macaulay.” wag, who, in allusion to an affair of honor in which two Irishmen were the principals, When his health and spirits were declin- said he “supposed the weapons were speaking ing, and his expectations began to merge in trumpets.”—Temple Bar, 1883. consciousness of failure, he sometimes sat quiet upon such occasions, listening or lost MACMAHON, Marie Edme Patrice Maurice in thought, as might happen. It was then de, Duke of Magenta, 1808-1893. French that Sydney Smith uttered his celebrated general and statesman. saying, “Macaulay is improved! Yes; Ma- I was present in the Crimea and witnessed caulay is improved. I have observed in him the final attack on the dreaded Malakoff, some late flashes of silence.”-IIARRIET MAR- which MacMahon led in person. He was TINEAU, “Biographical Studies.” then a general. When he had expelled the He is certainly more agreeable since his Russians he received an order from his chief, return from India. His enemies might per who, I believe, was then General Pelissier, haps have said before (though I never did to withdraw his men from the Malakoff, as so) that he talked rather too much; but it was believed to be mined. It was at this now he has occasional flashes of silence, that critical time that he made use of the expres- make his conversation perfectly delightful. sion, “J'y suis, j'y reste.” (Here I am, here -TREVELYAN, quoting Sydney Smith. I remain.] He immediately formed his men “I am afraid I cannot say much for my into a semi-circle and set about cutting ancestor, James II.” “Your majesty's prede- through to a certain depth in order to cut cessor, not ancestor," said the historian. The the wires and tubes in connection with the queen (Victorial laughingly acknowledged mines. But before the completion one mine the compliment.-"Private Life of Queen Vic- exploded and killed over a hundred officers toria" by a Member of the Royal Family. and men, he, fortunately, escaping. This literally terminated the siege and the cam- He then went on to say that on Macau- paign.-F. C. BIRKBECK TERRY, Notes and lay's telling him that he took a daily walk in Queries, December 2, 1893. St. Peter's, Mr. Gladstone asked him what most attracted him in that place. “The He was extremely brave, careless of temperature," was the answer.-LORD GOWER, danger, unmoved in the most trying situa- "Records and Reminiscences." | tions. When Colson, his chief of staff, and 391 Macaulay Mansfield, Lord OF THE GREAT Vogüe, his aide-de-camp and relative, were to him. The marshal promised to do so, and, struck down before his eyes at Worth, he stopping opposite to him in the ranks, said, remained impassive, merely remarking, “You are a negro; is it not so?” “Yes, “There are two fine deaths.”-E. A. VIZETEL monsieur, le maréchal!” “It is well; it is LY, “Republican France." well; continue so, continue so further." --GENERAL HENRY BRACKENBURY, Black- MacMahon had been taken prisoner at wood's Edinburgh Magazine, March, 1909. Sedan, but fortunately for his fame he had been severely wounded and he also had the MAINTENON, Françoise d’Aubigné, 1635- splendid charge of the Cuirassiers at Reichs 1719. Wife of Louis XIV. of France. hofen to his credit. Nevertheless, he had Little by little her husband's sway was come back from Germany, limping, haggard eclipsed by her own. People came no more to and almost heartbroken to think that all the hear him, but to hear and see her. “She had," reputation he had won as a soldier in his said M. de Noailles, "acquired an infinite earlier years was gone; so that when Thiers charm of conversation.” Everybody knows sent for him and made him commander-in- about the servant who one day at table whis- chief he burst into tears. Thiers himself was pered in her ear, “Madame, be pleased to tell much affected. "I thank you from the depths another story. There is no roast to-day.”— of my heart," said MacMahon, "for giving The Ladies' Companion, 1853. me this opportunity of retrieving my mili- tary honor.”—Temple Bir, May, 1884. On one occasion she shut herself up with a person who had the smallpox and who was As Marshal MacMahon entered Milan, I deserted by all the world, "a little,” she said, a little girl of five years of age presented "from pity, but chiefly from a desire to do a him with a bouquet nearly as big as herself. thing which had never been done before." He raised her up and placed her standing Another time, without requiring it, she took before him on the saddle. "The child,” says an emetic, then a new medicine and regard- a letter, "threw her little arms around the ed by the majority of the faculty as a poison, sunburnt head of the conqueror of Magenta, in order that her friends, to whom she re kissed him repeatedly amidst the loudest lated the incident with an air of indifference, cheers I ever heard. The marshal seemed might exclaim, “See this pretty woman; she delighted with the child and fondled her most has more courage than a man.”—The Quar- tenderly, looking frequently at her pretty terly Review, March, 1855. features. And so they both entered Milan amidst a shower of bouquets and applause. Madame de Maintenon and Madame de I saw many persons affected even to tears." Caylus were one day walking around the -Littell's Living Age, July 30, 1859. pond at Marley. The water was pellucid and the ladies could see the carp slowly moving One day in the course of a review an about, melancholy and meager. Madame de officer left the ranks and advanced towards Caylus drew Madame de Maintenon's atten- him with a petition in his hands. “Before tion to the fact. “Ah," said Madame de going into arrest for fifteen days,” said the Maintenon, “the carp are like me; they re- marshal, "hand your petition to Colonel de- gret their native mud.”-SEBASTIAN R. N. Broye.” Another day, on an official circuit, CHAMFORT, “Characters and Anecdotes." a mayor advanced, paper in hand, opening his mouth to read a long speech. The mar MANSFIELD, William Murray, Earl of shal snatched the paper from the hands of Mansfield, 1705-1793. Lord Chief Justice the astonished mayor and remarked with of King's Bench. great cordiality, “Don't be put out, Mr. May- The late Lord Mansfield, no less eminent or, I want to study it at leisure.”-GABRIEL for his great acquirements than for his HANOTAUX, “Contemporary France.” acuteness of understanding, was once asked When he was told that his government by a country gentleman whether he should had been defeated in the Chamber by a ma take upon himself the office of justice of the jority of one, he said, "If I only knew who peace, as he was conscious of his want of he was, that one." ... Before inspecting legal knowledge. “Jy good friend," replied the military college he was told that one of the sagacious lawyer, "you have good sense, the students was a man of color, who was honesty and coolness of temper; these quali- working hard and doing well, but led rather ties will enable you to judge rightly, but a difficult life among the other students on withhold your reasons for decisions, for they account of his color, and the marshal was may be disputable.”—The Athenaum (Bos- asked to say a few words of encouragement | ton), April 15, 1821. Mansfield, Lord Marie Antoinette 392 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES On a trial before Lord Mansfield a wit- | as a pretty good fellow. Who wouldn't be ness named Elm gave his evidence with re serene under such circumstances ?”-MRS. markable clearness, although he was more CLEMENT C. CLAY, JR., “A Belle of the Fif- than eighty years of age. Surprised at the ties.” old man's mentality, his lordship examined him as to his habits of living and found that MARGARET, 1240-1275. Queen of Scotland. he had been throughout life an early riser That the welfare of women was not alto- and a very temperate man. “I have always gether neglected even in the most distant observed," said the chief justice in an ap days is proved by an act of parliament, ob- proving tone, “that without temperance and viously intended to promote their well-being, good habits, longevity is never obtained.” which was passed as early as the thirteenth The next witness, an elder brother of the century. Queen Margaret was hardly likely early riser, also surprised his lordship with to forget those of her subjects who happened the clearness of the evidence he gave. "I to belong to her own sex, and by the terms suppose," said Lord Mansfield, "that you of this statute, the responsibility of which is are also an early riser.” “No, my lord,” attributed to her, it was ordained that "Dur- answered the veteran frankly; "I like my bed ing the reign of her most blessed majesty, at all times and especially in the morning.” any maiden lady of both high and low estate "Ah, but like your brother, you are no doubt shall have liberty to bespeak the man she a temperate man?” asked the judge, anx likes; albeit, if he refuses to take her to be ious for the fate of his theory. “My lord," his wife, he shall be mulcted in the sum of replied the ancient Elm, who lived in an age one hundred pounds or less, as his estate shall when drinking was a fashionable vice; "I am be, except and always if he can make it ap- a very old man and my memory is as clear pear that he is betrothed to another woman, as a bell, but I can't remember when I've then he shall be free.” -IIARRY GRAHAM, “A gone to bed wholly sober.” Lord Mansfield Group of Scottish Women," quoting Hislop. was silent. "Ah, my lord,” exclaimed Dun- MARIE ANTOINETTE, 1755-1793. Queen ning, a lawyer, “this old man's case supports a theory upheld by many persons, that habit. of France. ual intemperance is favorable to longevity.” When she set foot on the territory of the "No, no," said the chief justice; “this old city [on her way to become queen of France) man and his brother merely teach us what Monsieur d'Artigny, the chief magistrate, every carpenter knows-that elm, whether it | addressed her in German. "Do not speak be wet or dry, is a very tough wood.”—The German, Monsieur," she said; "from to-day Green Bay, April, 1912. I understand no language but French.”— In addressing the court on a question of MAXIME DE LA ROCHETERIE, “Life of Marie Antoinette," Copyright, Dodd, Mead & Co., some manorial rights he [Sir Fletcher Nor- ton] happened to say, "My lord, I can in- Inc., 1893. stance a point in my own person. Now, my When Marie Antoinette was received on lord, I myself have two little manors." Lord the French frontier she was divested of all Mansfield interrupted with one of his bland- her clothes in a tent prepared for this quit. est smiles. “We are well aware of that, tance of her German existence, and re-dressed Sir Fletcher.”—The Gentleman's Magazine, in a suit wholly French.-Blackwood's Edin. September, 1842, quoting Law and Lawyers. burgh Magazine, November, 1840. MARCY, William Learned, 1786-1857. Amer. In the Austrian portion of the pavilion ican statesman. Marie Antoinette was waited on-for almost I once asked the secretary how he pre the last time—by the faithful Austrian wom- served his unvarying calmness. “Well," he en who had known her all her life, and was answered confidentially, “I'll tell you; I have attired in a complete outfit (even to her given my secretary orders that whenever he stockings) of new French clothes, in order sees an article eulogistic of me, praising my that, in accordance with inexorable etiquette astuteness, my far-seeing diplomacy, my in (how she was destined to hate that word!) comparable statesmanship, etc., he is to cut she should retain nothing which might re- it out and place it conspicuously on my desk mind her of the land of her birth. What a where I can see it the first thing in the morn mere matter of form this was may be under- ing; everything to the contrary he is to cut stood when it is recollected that, for the last out and consign it to the waste basket. By year at least, all her toilettes had been sent this means, hearing nothing but good of my- | from Paris.- LADY YOUNGHUSBAND, “Marie self, I have come naturally to regard myself | Antoinette in Her Early Youth," 393 Mansfield, Lord Marie Antoinette OF THE GREAT Towards the close of the eighteenth cen- | tending the princess in her equestrian expedi- tury, some mysterious, semi-poetical name tions. The princess set about immediately was bestowed on every kind of fabric, trim contriving how she could raise a laugh at ming and cut. Open the Marquis de Val the expense of these lusty dames and at the fons's "Memoirs" and interpret, if you can, same time not transgress the commands of his description of the costume of La Duthe, | her physicians. She accordingly ordered one the famous courtesan-actress. “She was at of her household to procure her a number of tired,” says the Marquis, "in a robe of asses, properly accoutered, by a certain morn- stifled sighs, adorned with superfluous re ing. The duchesses were also ordered to be in grets, the point edged with perfect candor, attendance. When the asses were led out the trimmed with indiscreet complaints. She princess very gravely told them that she wore ribbons of marked attentions and shoes wanted to take an airing and bid them of the color of the queen's hair-Marie An mount. The ladies endeavored to remon- toinette's hair [Count d'Artois sent a lock strate and reminded the princess of the or- of it to Lyons in order that the exact hue of ders of her physicians. The dauphiness, how- it might be imitated by the silk workers] ever, was positive, and, leaping into the sad- embroidered with diamonds in treacherous | dle, desired they might follow. The duchesses stripes. Above her curls of elevated senti. obeyed, much against their inclinations, and, ments was a head-dress of certain conquest, as may be supposed, cut a ridiculous figure trimmed with fickle feathers, while over her enough. The princess, however, affecting not shoulders fell an Absalom tress of momen in the least to perceive their embarrassment, tary agitation.” Now all that, although much made them amble in her train for the whole of it is absolute gibberish to us, in 1907, was of a hot summer morning, under the very perfectly understood by the last great ladies windows of the palace, to the no small amuse- of the old régime.-E. A. VIZETELLY (Le Pe ment of the king and court, who soon became tit Homme Rouge), “Court Life of the Sec acquainted with the secret of the affair.- ond Empire.” PERCY, "Anecdotes.” One winter day it chanced that the queen, The following anecdote shows her humor. already quite undressed, was on the point of The scene was in the Bois de Boulogne. Sev. putting on her chemise. I held it all un eral of the more demure ladies of the court folded; the lady of honor entered, hastened were in open carriages. But the queen was to take off her gloves and took the chemise. riding on a donkey, as were various of her Some one scratched at the door. It opened younger favorites. Suddenly the whole cav- and Madame the Duchess of Orléans ap alcade was stopped, for Marie Antoinette's peared; taking off her gloves, she advanced donkey, having felt a sudden inclination to to take the chemise, but the lady of honor roll on the green turf, had thrown its royal could not give it to her; she returned it to rider, and she, being quite unhurt, remained me; I gave it to the princess. Some one seated on the ground, laughing immoderately. scratched again; it was Madame, the Coun As soon as she could command her counte- tess de Provence; the Duchess d'Orléans pre- nance she assumed a mock gravity and, with- sented the chemise to her. The queen held out attempting to rise from her lowly posi- her arms across her bosom and appeared to tion, commanded that the grand mistress be cold. Madame, observing her painful at of ceremonies should at once be brought to titude, contented herself by throwing down her side; and when the lady thus summoned her handkerchief, kept on her gloves, and, on stood, in no good temper and with digni- putting on the chemise, disarranged the fied aspect, before her, she looked up and queen's head-dress. The queen began to said, “Madame, I have sent for you that you laugh to disguise her impatience, but not may inform me as to the etiquette to be ob- before murmuring several times between her served when a queen of France and her teeth, “This is odious! What importunity!” donkey have both fallen-which of them is - MADAME CAMPAN, “Memoirs." to get up first.”_CLEMENTINA DAVIES, “Rec- Not long after this princess's marriage ollections of Society in England and France.” she was prohibited, on account of her health, from riding on horseback, an exercise of As I thought the general [Lafayette) which she was extremely fond. The order limped a little, although Morgan gave him gave great pleasure to two corpulent duch- his arm, I proposed as we reached the ex- esses of her train, who were overheard con- tremity of the grand pelouse, that commands gratulating themselves on the prospect of such a beautiful view of the château and its being thus released from the necessity of at- | five towers, that we should sit down to en- Marie Antoinette 394 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES joy the scene on one of the many wooden cards all the night through, the queen sitting benches with which the grounds abound. The | up until five o'clock in the morning. Next shade of two fine trees offered us repose and evening she caused the game to begin again, shelter from the sun and, above all, one of when she sat up well into All Saints' day. those charming causeries with the general, to The great evil was," adds Mercy, "that this which he unsuspectingly lent himself. In happened on the morning of a solemn festi- those low, slow, modulated tones, which gave val, as it gave rise to public comment. The to everything he said such an emphasis, he queen excused herself with a joke, saying to answered our questions by replies that might the king that as he had sanctioned one sit- almost be called historical. "Is it true, gen ting, without determining its duration, it had eral," I asked, “that you once went to a been quite allowable to extend it over thirty- bal masque at the opera with the queen of six hours.” The scandal was not, however, France, Marie Antoinette, leaning on your confined to one occasion. The professional arm, the king knowing nothing of the matter players were again summoned into the royal until after the return?” “I am afraid so," presence and pharo became domiciled at Ver- said he; "she was so indiscreet, and I can sailles. Courtiers of rank began to hold the conscientiously add, so innocent. However, bank and even Marie Antoinette herself went le Comte d'Artois was of the party and we shares in it. Mercy reports (July 15, 1777) were all young, enterprising and pleasure how “the Duke of Fronsac and the Marquis loving. But what is most absurd in the ad d'Ossun held a large bank in which the queen venture was that when I pointed out Madame had become a partner,” adding regretfully Du Barry to her--whose figure and favorite that play was growing ever higher and pro- domino I knew-the queen expressed a most ducing deplorable consequences.-The Quar- anxious desire to hear her speak and bade terly Review, July, 1880. me intriguer her. She answered me flip | The Comte d'Artois and the queen played pantly and I am sure if I had offered her my so high that they were obliged to admit to other arm the queen would not have objected their society every damaged reputetion in to it; such was the esprit d'aventure at that Europe to be able to make up a game.-COUN- time in the court of Versailles, and in the TESS DE BOIGNE, "Memoirs.” head of the haughty daughter of Austria." I said, “General, you were the Cromwell- There are doubtless many who, like my. Grandison.” “Pas encore," replied he, smil- self, can recollect a rather foolish little story ing, “that sobriquet was given men long that used to be told to children. Apparently after by Mirabeau.” “I believe," said I, “the founded on oral tradition, it has evidently queen was quite taken with the American been handed down and can only be regarded cause?” “She thought so but understood as another instance of the persistency with nothing about it,” replied he. “The world which every speech making for unpopularity said at least,” I added with some hesitation, in the masses of the people has been attribut- "that she favored its young champion, the ed to Marie Antoinette. She is supposed to hero of two worlds.” “Cancan de salon," he have inquired of Madame de Noailles why replied, and the subject was dropped.-LADY the common people they met along the road MORGAN, “Memoirs." looked so miserable. "Because they have no bread.” “Then why don't they eat cake?” For an innocent round game, practised Now, however defective and superficial the with all the gravities of etiquette, she sub- education of the imperial children may have stituted the exciting diversion of pharo, the been from certain points of view, they were game played at the notorious public tables one and all taught, both by precept and ex- in Venice, but prohibited and quite recently ample, to interest themselves in the poor, so by royal ordinance in France. Professional as no child of a Bourbon king was ever per- players, that is, keepers of gaming tables, mitted-far less encouraged to do, until were summoned to minister to the queen of some years later when Marie Antoinette her- France's desire to indulge in a game pro- self started in her own family a system of scribed by law. Louis XVI. mildly observed personal charity which was regarded as not that this would be an ill proceeding in the the least dangerous of her many innovations. face of a prohibition from which the palaces The anecdote above related was probably of the princes of the blood were not exempt; | founded on fact, as it was told twenty years but with his usual weakness he yielded to before of Madame Sophie, who, although the queen's insistence, with the proviso that kind-hearted, was not overburdened with the game should be indulged in but once. brains. In 1751, hearing how badly her On October 30 “bankers came and dealt the l brother the dauphin and his wife (the par. 395 Marie Antoinetto OF THE GREAT ents of Louis XVI.) had been received by the d'ors. The abbé was high-minded and, being people of Paris, who greeted the royal visi. constantly at Versailles, he carefully avaided tors with groans and loud cries of “Bread," everything that might lead to the discovery the princess, among whose peculiarities was of his embarrassment. Some person, how- a great dislike of piecrust, observed with ever, whispered the secret to the queen, the tears in her eyes, “If only these poor people beautiful but unfortunate Marie Antoinette. could bring themselves to eat pastry!” The On the same evening, her majesty meeting the identical story is also told by the Comte de abbé at the Duchess de Polignac's, engaged Provence (afterwards Louis XVIII.), who is him in a party of trictrac, in which she con- quite positive that the speech was made by trived in a very short time to lose the sum his own great-great-grandmother, Queen the abbé wanted; then smilingly she rose Maria Theresa, wife of her first cousin, Louis from the table and relinquished the game.-- XIV. and daughter of Philip IV. of Spain. The Atheneum (Boston), November 8, 1821. LADY YOUNGHUSBAND. (According to the At Choisy during a performance the memoirs of the Countess de Boigne it was ladies of the palace had taken possession of Madame Victoire who disliked piecrust and the front seats and refused to make room wanted to know why the poor people could for the Comtesse Du Barry and two of her not put up with that.) intimate friends. There were some very The queen was in the habit of playing sharp remarks exchanged; the favorite com- pharo every evening and on one occasion she plained; and the king, yielding to her plaints, noticed that M. de Chalabre, who kept the exiled one of the ladies of the dauphiness, the bank whilst he was picking up the money of Comtesse de Gramont, who had been among those who had lost, took advantage of a the most outspoken against Madame Du Bar- moment when he thought nobody was look ry, to fifteen leagues from the court. Some ing to put a rouleau of fifty louis into his months later, Madame de Gramont, being pocket. When every one was leaving she taken ill, requested permission to return to asked him to remain and when they were Paris, and begged Marie Antoinette to inter- alone said to him, “Monsieur de Chalabre, I cede in her favor. The young princess im- wish to know why you took from the game mediately sought her grandfather and laid this evening a rouleau of fifty louis ?” “A before him with much grace and sweetness rouleau, madame?” “Yes, monsieur; you the request of her lady-in-waiting. The king, put it into the right hand pocket of your embarrassed as he always was under such coat.” “Since your majesty saw me I must circumstances, put her off. The dauphiness inform the queen that I removed that rou insisted. “Madame," replied Louis XV. rath- leau because it is false.” “False? your proof, er drily, "have I not told you that I should monsieur.” Taking the rouleau out of his give you an answer ?” “But, papa,” the pocket he tore the envelope and showed that princess cried eagerly, "aside from reasons it was lead skilfully worked. The queen of humanity and justice, think what grief turned pale. “Did you notice who put it on it would be for me should a lady attached to the table?” she asked. M. de Chalabre at my service die while under your displeasure.” first denied, but on the queen's insisting con The king smiled and promised his grand- fessed that it was young Comte de daughter to satisfy her. He immediately whose father was an ambassador and was charged the Duc de la Vrillière to inquire in- then abroad. The queen desired him to keep to the condition of Madame de Gramont, and, the affair secret, and the next evening, when two days later, despite the opposition of the young count approached the tables, she Madame Du Barry, he ordered permission to said, smiling, "Monsieur le comte, I promised | be sent to the invalid to return to Paris. Madame, your mother, to take you under my | ROCHETERIE. guardianship during her absence. Our play An unfortunate stag, turning on his is too high for a young man; you will play pursuers, attacked a wretched peasant who no more pharo at court.” The lad under- was digging a plot of ground, wounding him stood, blushed crimson and retired, profound- in two vital parts of the body. The wife, ly grateful for being let off so easily Nei- half beside herself at the sight, rushed ther was the lesson lost upon him; after this to meet the hunt and fell senseless at the he played no more.-M. DE BASSANVILLE, horses' feet. The king stayed a few moments "Salons d'Autrois." and departed in another direction; but Marie A French abbé, celebrated for his wit as | Antoinette, who had meanwhile reached the. well as his political knowledge, was much spot, got out of her carriage, held the smell- embarrassed for the sum of five hundred louis | ing salts to the poor woman, supported her Marie Antoinette Marie Louise (Spain) 396 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES in her arms, and issued rapid directions for view with her husband; finally she brought treating the wounded man, who eventually such energy and force of reasoning to bear recovered, thanks to the unremitting atten that she conquered him. Forthwith the first tions of at least three court surgeons detailed supper was fixed for the following Saturday, by the dauphiness to attend him. The poor October 22. Mesdames were absent; when woman regained consciousness to find herself they returned the custom was established supported by a young girl, who whispered and the old princesses had no other recourse words of consolation in her ear, shed tears | but to ask permission to assist at these re- over her and finally placed her in a magnifi unions which they had at first disapproved cent carriage, in which, accompanied by two of.-ROCHETERIE. villagers, she was driven to the hovel in MARIE HENRIETTA, 1836-1902. Queen which she lived, further cheered by a consid- of Belgium. erable sum of money. Comte de Mercy add- ed that over a hundred spectators shed tears An anecdote relates that she was once as they watched the dauphine "in an immo- compelled to listen to a musician who was bility caused by surprise and admiration of chiefly performing his own compositions, a scene as unique as it was touching." And which clearly showed his utter lack of talent. Princess de Beauvan, the intimate friend of When he had finished the queen sweetly asked the Choiseuls, added that “the dauphine him to repeat one of the pieces, as she had obeyed the voice of nature and the dauphin never heard anything like it before. The that of his wife.”—YOUNGHUSBAND. artist was flattered, and when he was taking his leave the queen added, “Yours is a dif- Court etiquette did not permit the queen ferent style of music from that of Schumann or the princesses of the blood to eat with and Chopin, and even Wagner. You cannot men. When the royal couple dined in public, expect the present generation to appreciate they were served by women. When the king you." "I can well afford to wait," exclaimed went to the hunt, there was supper for the the composer, "especially since your majesty hunters afterwards, from which the queen - " “Oh," said Marie Henrietta, "I am was excluded. Assemblies of this kind had only an incompetent outsider.” When he had not a little contributed, it was said, to plunge gone and her ladies complimented her on her Louis XV. into the disorders of his last forbearance, she replied, “I am merely exer- years and to keep him there. Would they | cising the royal prerogative of mercy; I have not be a temptation for a prince, who was shut my eyes and my ears to the murder of virtuous, to be sure, but young and feeble; several airs. Noblesse oblige.”—A. S. RAP- and would the purity of his mind withstand PAPORT, “Leopold II.” the liberty of language which those nocturnal MARIE LOUISE, 1791-1847. Empress of parties seemed to authorize? There was dan- ger; and Marie Antoinette resolved to parry France. it by realizing a project which she had cher. In spite of her magnificent trousseau and ished for a year, by substituting for these beautiful figure and her large dress allow- hunting suppers suppers in society over which | ance, Marie was not elegantly and well she could preside and to which she would dressed like Josephine, though she employed invite the royal family and the principal the same workpeople. It was partly her own personages of the court. Mercy encouraged fault and partly the ridiculous etiquette that her and all reasonable persons saw therein made it impossible for them to fit her them- the surest means of separating the king from selves. Moreover, the duchess could not help bad companions. But it was necessary to in the matter, saying it was the concern of forestall objections. Might not Mesdames, the dame d'atour and not of the dame d'hon. attached from habit and jealousy to the old neur.-EDITH E. CUTHELL, "An Imperial traditions, and still holding great sway over | Victim." the mind of their nephew, interdict a scheme It was reported, sire, that one day your which would in their eyes involve a grave majesty, being much dissatisfied with the breach of etiquette and give new proof of perusal of a despatch from Vienna, said to the influence of their niece? To the first the empress, in a moment of ill humor, "Your overtures which his wife made to him, the | father is a blockhead” (Votre père est une king replied but vaguely, alleging the neces ganache). Marie Louise, who was unac- sity of consulting Madame Victoire, not to quainted with many French phrases, turned say Madame Adelaide. Surprised and dis to the person nearest to her, and, observing pleased at these subterfuges, Marie Antoi- that the emperor had called her father a nette insisted and had a very lively inter- 1 ganache, asked what the term meant. The 397 Marie Antoinette OF THE GREAT Marie Louise (Spain) -- - courtier, embarrassed at this unexpected in for the great gem, for no one, of course, ex- terrogatory, stammered out that the word cept the empress and Meneval, knew where signified a clever man, a man of judgment, it was. At last it came to her ears that it of extraordinary talent. Some time after was being asked for. She quietly took it out wards, the empress, with her newly learned of the work-bag and gave it up.-CUTHELL. term fresh in her mind, was present at the Council of State and, the discussion becom- Dudon laid hold of what he could find of ing somewhat warm, in order to put a stop the seven hundred thousand pounds, which to it, she called on M. Cambacérès, who was were the emperor's own private savings, as yawning by her side. "You must set us right well as his personal jewelry and linen—even on this important point,” said she; "you shall his handkerchiefs marked "N.” He took like- be our oracle, for I consider you the greatest wise the empress's plate and dinner service, ganache in the empire.” At these words the leaving her neither a knife nor a fork nor a emperor held his sides with laughter. "What plate to eat with, and Marie Louise had to a pity,” said he, “that this anecdote is not borrow from the bishop, her host, before she true. Only imagine the scene. The offended could dine.-CUTHELL. dignity of Cambacérès, the merriment of the MARIE whole council and the embarrassment of poor LOUISE, 1751-1819. Queen of Spain. Marie Louise, alarmed at the success of her unconscious joke.”—COUNT DE LAS CASES, The ladies told me one thing which I "Memoirs of Napoleon.” thought so ridiculous that I thought they were hoaxing me. They assured me that the She sent for the diamonds [after the queen never received a lady in white gloves. capture of Napoleon] and decided, for safety, "You must therefore recollect to take them to wear them herself; but there arose a off," said the Duchess d' Osuna, “or you will dilemma over the great Pitt diamond. This get into disgrace.” I laughed at this and, gem, brought from India by Chatham's grand- when I was dressed, never doubting but what father, had been bought by the regent Philip I had been told was a joke, I put on a pair Egalité, but had gone astray during the of white gloves. But on arriving at the door revolution. When found by the imperial of the apartment in which her majesty government Napoleon had the great diamond was to receive me, the camerara-mayor set in the hilt of the sword of state. To touched my arm, and by signs requested me carry this weapon about with her without its to take off my gloves. As she could not speak attracting notice was out of the question. a word of French, and as I could scarcely The idea struck Marie Louise, that, in order understand a word of Spanish, the dialogue to secrete it, Meneval might separate the hilt was not very noisy, though our gestures were from the blade. Not having any tool at hand sufficiently animated. I observed that the old with which to do this, he proceeded to snap lady was growing impatient and I felt my- it off over one of the fire dogs in the em- self getting a little out of humor. That I, press's fireplace and then fearfully hid the a Frenchwoman and a foreigner, who held no precious blade under his coat. ... Dudon rank at the court of Spain, should be sub- now demanded the crown jewels. In discuss- jected to this strange regulation, appeared ing them with the lady-in-waiting who had to me to be unreasonable and absurd. Per- charge of them, he asked for a certain neck- haps I was equally so in attempting to resist lace, a single row of diamonds, worth two it; but I am one of those persons who like hundred thousand pounds, which Napoleon to have my own way and, consequently, I had given the empress after the birth of the found myself in open rebellion against the King of Rome. The official in charge of the camerara-mayor, and, resolutely withdrawing imperial treasury had never claimed this as my gloved hands, I exclaimed, “No, no, Se- crown property, but Dudon did. At that ñora,” to which she replied, "Señora Am- moment the necklace in question was on bassadress, it is indispensable.” At length, Marie Louise's own neck. The lady went to finding that I obstinately resisted, she smiled her in her drawing room, where many people and, seizing my arm with her little, dingy, were surrounding her; at the first word of shriveled hands, she began to unglove me by explanation Marie Louise tore off the neck force. I now saw the folly of further resist- lace, exclaiming, “Give it back and say no ance and I submitted to the ceremony with more about the matter.” All the crown dia good grace. The old lady folded up my monds were restored and were found to be gloves and carefully laid them behind a red correct according to the inventory, except the curtain, near the door of the queen's apart- “Regent.” Then there was a hue and cry I ment. . . . I could not help thinking of my Marie Louise (Spain) Marie de' Medici 398 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES adventure with the camorara-mayor when I one occasion this strange performance and saw the queen's bare arms, which, as well as the queen was thrown to the ground, much her hands, were exceedingly beautiful. A to her husband's alarm. No one, it appears, smile, which I was unable to repress, ap dared to touch the queen, even to raise her parently revealed to her majesty what was from the ground, until Charles had suffi- passing in my mind. “I suppose,” said she, ciently recovered from the shock to do it "you were astonished at being required to himself.—MARTIN HUME, "Philip II. of take off your gloves. It is a custom, of Spain," quoting Mme. d'Aulnoy. which you, madame, at least have no reason Mme. d'Aulnoy in her memoirs tells a to complain, for your hands were made to be curious though doubtful story of these par- seen.”-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS, “Memoirs." roquets of which Marie Louise was so fond. A small reform of a more personal and They had been brought from Paris and the delicate nature was attempted by the young few sentences they had been taught were in queen. Spanish court etiquette, which per- French, so that the Duchess of Terranova petuated many a Moorish custom, had de- thought herself justified in having them (reed that women's feet must never be visible. killed. When the queen asked for them and Even the doors and steps of carriages were learned their fate she said nothing, but when so constructed as to conceal them. The ladies next the mistress of the robes came to kiss for this reason wore a long and cumbersome her hands Marie Louise gave her two good overskirt called the tantillo. “The Queen sound slaps on the face instead. When the Marie of Savoy," writes the Duc de Noailles, indignant duchess with all her followers went "wished the ladies of the palace to follow her in a rage to demand redress of the king, example by discarding the tantillo. The Marie Louise excused herself by saying that proposed innovation was actually regarded as she gave the slaps overcome by the irresistible an affair of state. Some gentlemen went so influence of a pregnant woman. This flat- far as to declare that they would rather see tered the king and she was absolved.—HUME. their wives lying dead before them than that their feet should be seen. The Ambassador MARIE DE' MEDICI, 1573-1642. Queen of Blecourt wrote gravely (to his court) that a France. descent of the English upon all the coasts P. Matthieu relates that owing to an er- of Spain would have caused less commotion." ror under which the child was believed to The queen succeeded, however, in ousting the be a boy, the people loudly acclaimed her tantillo and the court ladies finally acknowl birth. On learning that his child was a edged that they were relieved from a heavy girl, the grand duke consoled himself with burden.-CONSTANCE HILL, "Princess des Ur the remark, “that he believed she would be a sins." big one." A whimsical incident serves to illustrate I The queen's chief occupation when in the vexatious nature of Spanish etiquette. It | her small cabinet was to indulge in lotteries was declared essential to the welfare of the in which each player contributed his share kingdom that the queen upon the day of her to the cost of the prizes. For this amuse- public entrance into Madrid should wear her ment and "other small pleasures" of the hair flowing and uncurled. It was found at same kind, the queen received a regular an- her toilette that some rebellious curls did not nual allowance of thirty-six thousand francs, take their appointed station; upon which the a sum which will provoke the less surprise camerara-mayor, spitting into her hands, ap if considered in connection with the cross of proached to lubricate them. Marie Louise, gold and enamels won by the Marquise de in her haste to escape from this distressing Guercheville, “the face whereof was studded and disgusting form of hairdressing, over with ten emeralds and the back fashioned turned a candelabra which broke a mirror. of crystal, in weight a matter of two ounces, The Spanish ladies absolutely howled with and valued at four hundred and eighty horror: for in Spain, as in Ireland, the break francs.” ... The queen was not behind her ing of a looking-glass is regarded as a sure consort in patronizing the games of chance omen of early and sudden death.-Athcnaum, at the fair--her choice among them being September 4, 1847. the game of blanco, a lottery in which the Even so she was not allowed to mount white ticket-whence the name of the game her horse from the ground, but had to be --lost, and the ticket "with profits" won. driven in a coach to the place and mount the She also indulged in raffles similar to those horse from a step of the carriage. One of her held in her own cabinet, first buying an horses being very highly spirited resented on ' article in common with a number of her 399 Marie Louise (Spain) OF THE GREAT Marie de' Medici friends and the entire company then drawing | squire of the queen's kitchen, a keeper of lots for it. The stakes were by no means the plate and two body guards with halberds small; a gold watch studded with diamonds, and sometimes their arquebuses, took care in value nine hundred francs, was ramed for that no one approached the joint destined for by six persons; the queen's share for a chain the royal table. On reaching the queen's of gold set with diamonds-in which ratlle antechamber the entire procession uncovered, she was a loser—was eighteen hundred francs. the usher, stationed at the door, removing ... Some idea of the extensive gambling and pocketing the cap of each page as he in which the royal couple indulged at the passed in. fair may be gathered from a letter written Henry's departure was the signal for the by Henry IV. to Sully, dated February 28, entry of the queen's four tire-women. ... 1607: "My friend, During the fair at St.- Their first step was to clothe their mistress Germain I have gambled away goods to the in a chemise of linen damasked with gold value of ten thousand crowns. The mer and red silk, “worked with gold thread," or chants from whom I had the said goods have white or black silk. The next garments were pressed me for payment, wherefore I send silk stockings, carnation, yellow or blue in you this line to bid you pay all such debts." color, for Marie would never wear black un- ... Marie de' Medici's particular game was less in mourning. A petticoat, selected from prime. This she played with a wonderful numerous "heaps” in the chests, followed set of cards painted and illuminated to repre of "slashed violet satin,” white satin lined sent divers animals by Louis de la Haye, with green taffetas, Chinese “tabit” (a kind goldsmith, whose work cost her one hundred of waved silk] lined with yellow taffetas, yel- and twenty livres. Bassompierre was her low satin lined with red satin, carnation favorite adversary; she played with vigor satin lined with yellow, thin brocatelle with and punted heavily, so that in one evening blue ground, or black satin embroidered with she was known to lose seven hundred pis- blue flowers. Having made her choice, and toles, “which did not make me happy,” as still wearing the “high canvas night-cap,” in she afterwards lugubriously wrote. Accord which she slept, the queen put on a dressing ing to Bassompierre, a single day's play at jacket, and thus apparelled in "petticoat and Fontainebleau saw twenty thousand pistoles night-cap," gave audience to the people of change hands. The lowest stake was fifty her household-her intendant, treasurer, pistoles, the highest five hundred. Fifty comptroller, major domo and first equerry, thousand pistoles might hang on a single who attended to receive orders. On pro- chance. Bassompierre, again, relates that ceeding with the toilet a valet de chambre, one evening in 1607 his sole goods in life bearing a ewer from the great chest in the consisted of seven hundred crowns, whereas sleeping room, went out for water preceded he had just ordered a suit for the dauphin's by two body guards of the antechamber, and baptism at the cost of fourteen thousand her women, having placed "the conch, basins crowns; by the favor of fortune he rose from and towel" upon a table, the queen washed the table with the said fourteen thousand herself with a sponge and combed her hair crowns in his pocket, a sword mounted in with an ivory comb. diamonds valued at fifty-two hundred crowns Marie's system of discipline-alternate and five or six thousand besides. If we are to believe his statement, his winnings at whippings and presents—tended to a pre- cards in 1608 amounted to half a million. dominance of the former, while the fact that the latter generally arrived on stated oc- The queen was a good player, but the king, if luck were bad, would pass his hand to a casions caused them to lack both the charm of the unexpected and the grace of an atten- companion. tion. The child [subsequently Louis XIII.) The kitchens must have her majesty's received watches, little knives and silver meals ready at half past nine in the morn- soldiers at New Year's. ... The whip, on the ing and at five o'clock in the evening. The other hand, was applied regularly. To every conveyance of the meat called for a most letter from Madame de Montglat mentioning dignified ceremony. At the head of the pro- resistance or obstinacy, the invariable reply cession marched two archers of the guard in was, "Use the whip," until Jean Heroard in- embroidered coats, halberd upon shoulder; terposed on the score of health, since the an usher followed, rod in hand, then the child received the corrections with such out- steward in quarter with his staff, after him bursts of temper as often brought on a a serving gentleman-the pantler-and final. faint. The queen then modified the orders ly, her majesty's meat borne by pages. The to: “Apply the whip, but cautiously. Se Marle de' Medici Marshall, John 400 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that his anger shall not be followed by any | his guest to profit by his example, repeating ill effects." Being anxious, for many rea- | the old adage that "Hunger was an excellent sons, to preserve the dauphin's health, the sauce.” “But, surely, general," said the of- queen consulted the doctors and conceived ficer, “this cannot be your ordinary fare?” the idea that chastisement was dangerous in "Indeed, it is sir," he replied, “and we are hot weather; the little prince in summer fortunate on this occasion, entertaining com- enjoyed the benefit of this doubt. "Have re pany, to have more than our usual allow. course to anything rather than the rod in ance.”—ALEXANDER GARDEN, “Anecdotes of this warm season, when he might become the Revolutionary War in America." over-excited." ... Dauphin or not, a child's heart must have fluttered when every morn- MARSHALL, John, 1755-1835. Chief Jus- ing's rising and dressing were but prelim- tice of the United States Supreme Court. inaries to a settling of the past day's ac President Quincy gives us a glimpse of counts, and the appearance of a stern gover him at this period, as he heard him de- ness with her rods and her dreaded formula, scribed at a dinner with John Randolph and "Now down with those " A child who a large company of Virginians and other lived with a knowledge that he would suffer Southern gentlemen. They were talking of at a fixed hour every morning for the trans Marshall's early life and his athletic prowess. gressions of the preceding day, not unnatu “It was said," he relates, “that he surpassed rally felt no affection for his mother, scarcely | any man in the army; that when soldiers attempted to conceal his displeasure when were idle in their quarters it was usual she came to St.-Germain, and embraced her for officers to engage in matches at quoits, or only under compulsion.-LOUIS BATIFFOL, in jumping or racing; that he would throw “Marie de' Medici and her Court.” a quoit farther and beat at a race any other; that he was the only man who, with a run- Long after Louis was king of France ning jump, could clear a stick laid on the the floggings continued, enraging interludes heads of two men as tall as himself. On one to court etiquette and ceremonies. “Give me occasion he ran in his stocking feet with a less manners and less whippings," the poor comrade. His mother, in knitting his stock- boy cried one day, when his mother and her ings, had the legs of blue yarn and the ladies rose and courtesied on his majesty's heels of white. This circumstance, combined entrance.—ELEANOR C. PRICE, “Marie de' Me. with his uniform success in the race, led the dici and Louis XIII.” soldiers, who were always present at these She showed her fitness for celestial re- | races, to give him the sobriquet of "Silver ward when some one remarked that they Heels," the name by which he was generally did not know how to break the sad news to known among them. the widow, the Maréchale d'Ancre. "I have plenty of other things to think about,” said Marshall, however, did yield to General Marie; "if you will not tell her the news, Washington's urgent request to stand for sing it to her. Don't talk to me any more Congress that year; and apparently it was of those people," and she was heartless for a consultation on this question that he enough even to refuse to see her unfortunate went to Mount Vernon in the summer in com- friend.—The Quarterly Revier, October, 1884. pany with the coming judge. On their way they met with a misadventure which gave MARION, Francis, 1732-1795. American great amusement to Washington, and of general. which he enjoyed telling his friends. They A British officer was sent from the garri came on horseback and carried but one pair son at Georgetown to negotiate a business of saddlebags, each using one side. Arriv- interesting to both armies. When this was ing thoroughly drenched by rain, they were concluded and the officer about to return, the shown to a chamber to change their garments. general said, “If it suits your convenience, One opened one side of his bags and drew sir, to remain for a short period, I shall forth a black bottle of whiskey. He insisted be glad of your company to dinner.” The that he had opened his comrade's repository. mild and dignified simplicity of Marion's Unlocking the other side, they found a big manners had already produced its effect; twist of tobacco, some corn bread and the and, to prolong so interesting an interview, / equipment of a pack saddle. They had ex- the invitation was accepted. The entertain changed saddlebags with some traveler and ment was served up on pieces of bark and now had to appear in the ludicrous misfit consisted entirely of roasted potatoes, of of borrowed clothes.-JAMES B. THAYER, The which the general ate heartily, requesting 'Atlantic Monthly, March, 1901. 401 Marie de' Medici OF THE GREAT Marshall, John It used to be said of him that when he roads of North Carolina on his way to Ral- had formed his conclusions, he would say to eigh in a stick gig. His horse turned out of one of his colleagues: “There, Story, is the the road and his sulky ran over a sapling and law; now you must find the authorities.” was tilted so as to arouse the judge. When And Story could always do this. And this he found that he could not move either to anecdote, if it proves nothing else, shows the right or to the left, an old negro, who something of the relations between these two had come along, solved the difficulty. “My eminent men and of their characteristics. old marster,” he asked, "what fer you don't Judge Story was always glad to acknowledge, back your horse?” “That's true," said the cordially and emphatically, the merits of his judge and he acted as advised. Thanking his great chief. He used to say: “When I deliverer heartily he felt into his pocket for examine a question, I go from headland to some change but he did not have any. headland, from case to case; Marshall has “Never mind, old man," he said, “I shall a compass, puts out to sea and goes directly stop at the tavern and leave some money to his result.”—The American Laro Review, for you with the landlord.” The old negro April, 1867. was not impressed with the stranger, but he It is strange that while we never notice called at the tavern and asked the keeper if an old gentleman had left anything there for when a person winks when looking at us, un- him. “Oh, yes,” said the landlord, "he left less it is done with disagreeable frequency, a silver dollar for you. What do you think when one looks without winking, it is ob- of that old gentleman?" "He was a gem- served at once. Chief Justice Marshall had man, for shore, but,” patting his forehead, this peculiarity towards any one addressing "he didn't have much in there.”—The Al- him. Lowndes, of South Carolina, said about bany Law Journal, April, 1901, quoting The it: “Oh, yes; the good old judge finds it of World's Work. great service. When a lawyer is talking against time, or annoying the court with There are several picturesque descrip- platitudes, that cold, wide-open, never-wink- tions of the part he took at the meetings ing gray eye fastens upon him and a man of the Quoit Club. It is enough to quote can't stand it."-The Albany Law Journal, one, perhaps less known than the others, in January 13, 1872. which the artist, Chester Harding, visiting Richmond during the session of the state He did his own marketing and the story convention of 1829-30 when the chief justice has often been told how a young gentleman, was nearly seventy-five years old, and the finding no one at the market to carry home last survivor of the founders of the club, his turkey, was swearing about the matter, tells us: “I again met Judge Marshall in when Marshall, who was rather a rusty. Richmond, whither I went during the sitting looking old gentleman, offered to take it home of the convention for amending the consti- for him, and did so. The story is also tution. He was a leading member of the well known how he was taken for an old Quoit Club, which I was invited to attend. farmer by a lot of young men at a country The battle-ground was about a mile from the tavern and guyed by them until he astonished city, in a beautiful grove. I went early, with them with several hours of eloquence on the a friend, just as the party were beginning Christian religion. And another well-known to arrive. I watched for the coming of the story is that of one of his first law cases, old chief. He soon approached with his coat how, attired in a plain linen roundabout and on his arm, and his hat in his hand, which shorts, and with a hatful of cherries in his he was using as a fan. He walked directly hand, he took the place of a missing lawyer up to a large bowl of mint julep and drank and surprised the Richmond bar.-FRANK G. off a tumblerful of the liquid, smacked his CARPENTER, The North American Review, lips, and then turned to the company with a August, 1888. cheerful, 'How are you, gentlemen?' He was His peculiar characteristic was the car. looked upon as the best pitcher of the party rying of a long, green umbrella, which was and could throw heavier quoits than any his constant companion, not only wher. it | other member of the club. The game began was raining, but stuck under his arm when with great animation. There were several not a cloud was to be seen.-PROFESSOR PAR- ties and, before long, I saw the great Chief sons, of Harvard Law School, The Albany Justice of the Supreme Court of the United Law Journal, August 20, 1870. States down on his knees, measuring the One day, Judge Marshall, engrossed in contested distances with a straw, with as his reflections, was driving over the wretched I much earnestness as if it had been a point Marshall, John Marshall, Thomas F. 402 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of law and, if he proved to be in the right, himself threw them with great success and the woods would ring with his triumphant accuracy and often “rang the meg.” On this shout."-JUSTICE HORACE Gray, address to occasion Marshall and Parson Blair led the the Virginia Bar Association, celebration of two parties of players. Marshall played first John Marshall Day, February 4, 1901. and “rang the meg.” Parson Blair did the same; his quoit came plumply on top In speaking of this same club, another of Marshall's. At this there was up- writer says: “We have seen Mr. Marshall, roarious applause, which drew out all the ... when he was Chief Justice of the United others from the dinner. Then came an ani- States, on his hands and knees, with a straw mated controversy as to what should be the and a penknife, the blade of the knife stuck effect of the exploit. All returned to the through the straw, holding it between the table, had another bottle of champagne, and edge of the quoit and the hub, and when it listened to arguments, one from Marshall, pro was a very doubtful question, pinching or biting off the ends of the straw, until it se, and one from Wickham, for Parson Blair. would fit to a hair.”—JOHN Marshall's argument is a humorous compan- F. DILLON, "John Marshall.” ion-piece to any of his elaborate judicial opinions. First he formulated the question: After dinner a match game of quoits was “Who is the winner when the adversary played with as much zest as golf would be quoits are on the meg at the same time?" to-day. The human side of John Marshall is Then he stated the facts and added that the seen to better advantage in this game than question was one of the true construction anywhere else. Most of the gentlemen played and application of the rules of the game. with handsome brass quoits, kept polished by The first one ringing the meg, he argued, had a negro servant, Jasper Crouch. Judge the advantage; no other could succeed who Marshall had a set of rough iron quoits twice does not begin by displacing him. The par- as large as any others, which few of the son, he willingly allowed, deserves to rank club could throw.-MARY N. STANNARD, ad higher and higher in everybody's esteem, but dress before the Association for the Preserva then he must not do it by getting on his adver- tion of Virginia Antiquities, March 27, sary's back. That is more like leap frog 1913. than quoits. Again, the legal maxim is, All his life he played at this game. Cujus est solum ejus est usque ad coelum. There is an account of a country barbecue His own right, as first occupant, extended in the mountain region, where a casual guest to the vault of heaven. No opponent can gain saw an old man emerge from a thicket which any advantage by squatting on his back- bordered on a brook, carrying a pile of flat he must either bring a writ of ejectment stones as high as he could hold between his or drive him out vi et armis. And then, right arm and his chin. He stepped brisk- after further argument of the same sort, he ly up to the company and threw them down. asked judgment. Mr. Wickham then arose “There, here are quite enough for us all."-- and made an argument of the same pattern. THAYER. No rule, he said, required an impossibility. Mr. Marshall's quoit is twice as large as any An entertaining account has been pre- others, and yet it flies from his arm like served by the late Mr. George W. Mumford, an iron ball, at the Grecian games, from the of the meeting of this club, apparently while arm of Ajax. It is an iron quoit, un polished, Marshall was still at the bar, at which he jagged and of enormous weight. It is impos- and Wickham, a leading Virginia lawyer, sible for an ordinary quoit to move it. With one of the counsel of Aaron Burr, were the much more of the same sort he contended caterers. At the table Marshall announced that it was a drawn game. After animated that at the last meeting two members had in- troduced politics, a forbidden subject, and voting, protracting the uncertainty as long as possible, it was so decided. On another had been fined a basket of champagne, and trial Marshall clearly won.—THAYER, ad- that this was now produced as a warning to dress at Harvard University, John Marshall evil-doers. As the club seldom drank this Day, February 4, 1901. article, they had no champagne glasses, and must drink it in tumblers. By the bye the I have seen a note written by the chief quoit players retired for a game. Most of the | justice to the clerk of the court asking him members had smooth, polished brass quoits. to have a ham boiled the following Thursday But Marshall's were iron, large, rough and in Maryland fashion, when the chief justice heavy, such as few members of the club would have one boiled in the Virginia fash- could throw well from hub to hub. Marshall | ion, that they might be both submitted to the 403 Marshall, John OF THE GREAT Marshall, Thomas F. judges for discussion and decision.-CLARR MARSHALL, Thomas Francis, 1801-1804. SON N. POTTER, annual address, American American statesman. Bar Association, August 18, 1881. It is said that Marshall when a young “We are great ascetics and even deny man was so overcome by the eloquence of a ourselves wine except in wet weather.” Here certain minister that he rose hurriedly and the justice (Story] paused, as if thinking this left the church, afterwards explaining to his last statement placed too great a tax on frier ds who inquired the reason of his human credulity, and then he added slyly: strange conduct that if he remained he would “What I say about wine, sir, gives you our himself have become a minister, whereas he rule, but it does sometimes happen that the had already determined to be a lawyer.--- chief justice will say to me, when the cloth CHARLES FENNELL, The Green Bag, June, is removed, 'Brother Story, step to the win- 1907. dow and see if it does not rain. And if I The Hon. member of Congress was defend- tell him that the sun is shining, Chief Justice ing a man charged with murder in Jessamine Marshall will sometimes reply, 'All the bet. county, Judge Lusk presiding. The testi- ter; for our jurisdiction extends over so mony against the prisoner was strong and large a territory, that the doctrine of chances Tom struggled hard on cross-examination, makes it certain that it must be raining but to little purpose, for the old judge was somewhere. I think it is safe to take some inflexible in his determination to rule out all thing.'"-The Green Bay, January, 1905, improper testimony offered on the part of quoting The Lancaster Law Review. the defense. At last Tom worked himself into a high state of excitement and remarked An anecdote is told of Chief Justice that “Jesus Christ was convicted upon just Marshall evincing his ready humor. The old such rulings of the court that tried him.” gentleman, like Miles Standish, was very fond “Clerk," said the court, “enter a fine of ten of doing everything himself and objected dollars against Mr. Marshall.” “Well, that strongly to any assistance being rendered is the first time I ever heard of anybody be- him. One day, wishing to consult some work ing fined for abusing Pontius Pilate," was the of reference, he entered the law library and ! quick response of Tom. IIere the judge be- proceeded to mount the steps and draw out a came very indignant and ordered the clerk book from an upper shelf. The books, being to enter another fine, of twenty dollars. Tom tightly packed together, refused to leave one rose with that peculiar mirth-provoking ex- without the others and the chief justice, not pression of countenance that no one can imi- noticing this, in withdrawing one he wished, tate and addressed the court with as much dislodged the entire row, which came down gravity as the circumstances would permit, upon him, felling him to the floor. The as follows: “If your honor please, as a good librarian instantly ran to the rescue, inquir: citizen, I feel bound to obey the order of ing whether the venerable gentleman was this court and intend to do so in this in- hurt and offering his assistance in rising. l stance; but as I don't happen to have thirty “Let me alone,” said the chief justice. “I dollars about me, I shall be compelled to am a little stunned for the moment; that is borrow it of some friend; and as I see no all. I have laid down the law often, but this one present whose confidence and friendship is the first time the law has ever laid me I have so long enjoyed as your honor's, I down.”—The Albany Law Journal, February make no hesitation in asking the small favor 11, 1871. of a loan for a few days to square up the A Western advocate, already prominent l amount of the fines you have caused the clerk in the legislature, had begun somewhere near to enter against me." This was a stumper. to the origin of things and the first prin- | The judge looked at Tom and then at the ciples of society, and was working his way clerk and finally said: “Clerk, remit Mr. through Bracton and Coke to the case in Marshall's fines; the state is better able to hand, in an argument before the late Chief | lose thirty dollars than I am.”—Harper's Justice Marshall. The magnificent old gen- | dlagazine, December, 1856. tleman was seldom weary and never impa It had been announced upon a particular tient; but he thought that on this occasion | evening the theme of the discourse would be some time might be saved. “Brother H- " | Church History. Up to this time Tom had said he, “there are some things which a chief been sobriety itself; but upon the occasion justice of the United States may be presumed in question-owing doubtless to certain pre- to know."--The North American Review, paratory exercises undergone with a view to January, 1841. | promoting a spiritual frame of mind in Marshall, Thomas Masséna, General 404 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES harmony with his subject-he made his ap- | happened that among the persons present a pearance on the platform visibly the better Louisville buck, of a scant amount of brains, for liquor, for he was never in better trim who was distinguished for his puppyism and than when "he was na fou, but just had forwardness, had taken his seat. Tom passed plenty." His effort was the most brilliant him, but announced nevertheless that he had he had yet made and the learned president now examined all the heads in the room; and professors were delighted, manifesting whereupon our buck arose with, “Beg pardon, their approbation by nods, smiles and such Mr. Marshall; I wish just to say that you other demonstrations as were consistent with have forgotten me. I have not been ex- due observance of decorum. At length the amined.” Tom seemed puzzled at first, lecturer came to speak of the burning of smiled, looked round, but relieved himself Servetus at Geneva. After depicting the hor- with, “You must excuse me, sir, but I can't rible details in a manner terribly graphic, do it really, I can't. I am too drunk to and laying the whole blame on John Calvin, read small print by candle-light.”—Harper's whom he declared to be the chief instigator Magazine, June, 1875. of the atrocity, he turned to the clerical He was speaking in a case in the court posse behind him, exclaiming in the most | house at Versailles, when he was interrupted deprecatory and confidential tone, “Gentle. by Judge A. K. Woolley, who threatened to men, I wish to God some pope had done that strike him. With a graceful wave of his and not the head of our church."-Harper's hand he replied, “Consider the blow as struck, Magazine, November, 1867. Mr. Woolley," and finished his speech. He In his latter days he did not belong to then challenged Woolley but through the in- more than two or three temperance societies tervention of Clay and Crittenden the affair at a time; and once, in a wild fever of dis- was amicably adjusted.—CHARLES FENNELL, sipation, he was taken to a room in the The Green Bag, June, 1907. Mansion House at Louisville by a friend. MARY, 1516-1558. Queen of England. When there he found the old school boy It was difficult to please proud, disappoint- warning, “What goes up must come down" | ed people who were ready to disapprove of reversed and his friend, hearing the uprisings everything; and when the Duchess of Alba from the vasty deep, said, "Are you unwell, came, three days after the marriage, to join Mr. Marshall ?” “Oh, no," was the reply, her husband, though Mary treated her with "only throwing up for fun.”-Harper's Nag- almost royal honors, the haughty dame and azine, May, 1866. her kin were in a chronic state of indignation Many years ago, when the science of at the position she was obliged to occupy. phrenology first began to attract public at- | An amusing account of her first visit to tention, a lecturer of that sort, brimful of Mary on the third day after the wedding enthusiasm, turned up in Louisville, and does not suggest any lack of ceremony, gave a series of "talks" to the people, and though the lodgings assigned to her may not examined a large number of heads, made have been as sumptuous as she thought fit. charts at so much each and, in short, de The duchess was conducted to the bishop's veloped quite an amount of hidden vice and palace by the Countesses of Pembroke and virtue which had not been before suspected Kildare and the Earl of Bedford, and the among the good people of that city. Tom queen advanced almost to the door of the Marshall was present and enjoyed the "exer presence chamber to meet her. The duchess cises.” After the affair was over, the crowd knelt, and the queen, failing in her efforts to adjourned to the Galt House to post books | raise her, courtesied almost as low, and kissed and render judgment on the science itself. her upon the mouth, which she usually did Tom said he could examine heads as well only to those of the blood royal. She then as any one—it was all a humbug, a penny led the duchess to a dais and seated herself catching business—and to satisfy the people upon the floor, inviting her guest to do like- he was right he would take any number of wise. But the latter refused to sit on the men who chose to go into the parlor ad floor until the queen sat on a chair. This joining and make the experiment, although the queen would not do, but sent for two he was a little the worse for an overdose stools as a compromise, upon one of which of Bourbon. Many went in and Tom seated she sat and invited the duchess to take the them and went around from man to man, other, instead of which the duchess then sat most of whom he knew, and made a vast upon the floor, whereupon the queen left amount of fun for the crowd, as he always the stool and also sat upon the floor; and, could do on almost any provocation. It so after an almost interminably friendly wran- 405 Marshall, Thomas F. OF THE GREAT Masséna, Genoral gle, both ladies settled down on their stools, Among the mysteries which surround their conversation being interpreted by the Mary we should not reckon the color of her Marquis de las Navas, as Mary, although she hair! Just after her first flight into Eng- understood Spanish, did not speak it. When land, her gaoler at Carlisle told Cecil that the Earl of Derby was presented to the in Mary Seton the queen "had the finest duchess, she was horrified at his offering to busker of a woman's hair to be seen in any salute her in the usual English fashion by country. Yesterday and this day she did kissing the lips, and she drew back from him set such a curled hair upon the queen, that in hot indignation, though hardly in time to was said to be a perewyke, that showed very avoid contact. But, as the lady haughtily delicately, and every other day she hath a expatiated to her own people afterwards upon new device of head dressing that setteth forth the uncouth fashion, she declared that the | a woman gaily well.” Henceforth Mary var- earl had just managed to reach her cheek. ied the color of "her perewykes.” She had MARTIN HUME, “Two English Queens and worn them earlier, but she wore them, at Philip.” least at her first coming into England, for MARY STUART, 1542-1587. Queen of Scot- the good reason that, in her flight from Lang. land. side, she had her head shaved, probably for purposes of disguise. So we learn from Nau, She had made herself learned in Latin, so that, being between thirteen and fourteen her secretary.-ANDREW LANG, “The Mystery of Mary Stuart.” years of age, she declaimed before King Henry, the queen and all the court, publicly I have in my possession a small lock of in the hall of the Louvre, a harangue in Lat Mary Queen of Scots' hair. ... The hair in, which she made herself, maintaining and is a bright golden color and very fine and defending, against common opinion, that it silky.-CONSTANCE RUSSELL, Notes and was well becoming to women to know letters | Queries, February 11, 1882. and the liberal arts. Think of what a rare In 1586 Mary wore auburn hair, accord. thing and an admirable it was, to see this ing to a manuscript in the Bodleian.-Notes wise and beautiful young queen thus orate in and Queries, February 11, 1882. Latin, which she knew and understood quite MASSÉNA, André, Duke of Rivoli, Prince of well, for I was there and saw her.-BRAN- TOME, “Book of the Ladies.” Essling, 1758-1817. French marshal. L'Hôpital said of her ... that she had The most distinguished soldier of Hebrew an alabaster forehead dazzling beneath the descent was probably Marshal Massenah, whose real name is said to have been Man- crape, and with golden hair, which needs a brief remark. It is a poet (Ronsard) who asseh, the warrior whom Napoleon called speaks of "the gold of her ringed and braided “the favorite child of victory.”—J. K. Hos- hair," and poets, as we know, employ their MER, “The Jews.” (Lord Beaconsfield, Con- ingsby, makes the same assertion, although words rather vaguely. Mme. Sand, speaking of a portrait she had seen as a child in an the records of Nice Cathedral show that English convent, says, without hesitation, Masséna was baptized there. See Notes and “Marie was beautiful, but red-haired.” M. Queries, May 6, 1899.) Dargaud speaks of another portrait, "in In the beginning of the battle, seeing which a sunray lightens," he says rather odd that one of his stirrups was too long, he ly, “the curls of her living and electric hair." called a soldier to shorten it, and during the But Walter Scott, reputed the most correct operation placed his leg on the horse's neck; of historical romance writers, in describing a cannon-ball whizzed by, killed the soldier Mary Stuart a prisoner in Loch Leven castle, and cut off the stirrup, without touching the shows us, as though he had seen them, her marshal or his horse. “There,” said he, thick tresses of "dark brown,” which escaped “now I shall have to get down and change now and then from her coif. Here we are my saddle," which observation the marshal far from the red or golden tints and I see no made in a jesting tone.—LOUIS CONSTANT, way of conciliating these differences than to "Memoirs." rest on “that hair, so beautiful, so blond and Masséna one night carried away from it fair," which Brantome, an ocular witness, seven hundred thousand francs. The bank- admired, hair that captivity whitened, leave ers, terrified at his run of luck, offered him ing the poor queen of forty-six "quite bald" the next day fifty thousand francs if he in the hands of her executioner, as l’Estoile would refrain from playing only that single relates.-SAINTE-BEUVE, "Causeries du Lun- day. He refused and again was a consider- able gainer. The exclusive privileges for di.” Masséna, General Maule, William H. 406 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES these games of chance were farmed out as a | be paid yearly. Another aide-de-camp, a branch of the revenue, bringing in not less distinguished officer, ... declared that to than six millions yearly, for which the gov give them only twenty pounds each would ernment did not account to the public. be unworthy of the character of the marshal. BARON WESSENBERG, “Souvenirs and Masséna, on hearing this, ran about the room, Thoughts." breaking the furniture, and screamed out, It was the custom, Marbot tells us, dur- “You want to ruin me; I would rather see ing the “continental blockade," for English you all shot and receive myself a ball through vessels, loaded with forbidden merchandise, the arm than sign a dotation of twenty to be sent out by arrangement to be captured pounds a year in rentes viagères. Go, all of by French privateers, and taken into some you, to the devil.” In the end, fearing the port occupied by French troops, whose com- wrath of Napoleon, the marshal unwillingly manding officer gave or rather sold them a paid the twenty pounds a year. license to land the goods. The profits of this The Duke of Wellington has often stated novel system of smuggling were enormous that Masséna gave him more trouble than and the price paid for the license proportion any other marshal, but it was only the al. When Masséna was commanding in shadow of the great Masséna that Welling- Naples he made the business very lucrative ton had to deal with. Although there was a and paid into a Leghorn bank the sum of Madame la Maréchale and a large family, three million francs. This came to Napo Masséna was accompanied by a certain Ma- leon's ears and he wrote to Masséna request dame X- , who seemed to have been one of ing him to lend him a million francs. Mag the chief causes of the failure of this [Span- séna replied that, being a poor man with a ish] campaign. On Masséna's arrival at the large family and many debts, he was quite palace of Valladolid, then inhabited by the unable to do so. Then Napoleon sent offi Duke and Duchess d’Abrantès, a painful cially to the bank; demanded the three mil scene took place, for, although Junot kissed lion francs of army funds which Masséna had the hand of his chief's inamorata (in his ca- lodged there and was now wanted by the gov pacity of an old hussar, as he afterwards ex- ernment. The money was paid on the gove plained), the duchess reared at the sight of ernment receipt and, of course, Masséna did her unexpected guest. . . . So Masséna con- not get a centime of it. And, though he was sented to the demand of Madame X- , that liberally paid both as marshal and Prince of she should accompany him on horseback Essling, he never ceased to complain of the through the mountains of Portugal. What scandalous way in which he had been plun made the matter worse was that his amiable dered.—The Quarterly Review, January, 1892. son, Prosper Masséna, was with him as aide- Mr. Boruke tells me that three years ago de-camp. Masséna was very ill, but would not be per Masséna asked them to partake of a suaded by his wife to consult a physician, on banquet, the table for which was laid in a which she went to Bourgon, a physician, and lemon grove. Masséna then, with incredible told him the reason was Masséna's unwilling folly, sent for Madame X— and asked Ney ness to pay the necessary fee, begging the to hand her to the table. Ney nearly ex. physician to come and see him as a friend, ploded; however, he gave the tips of his which he did, and recommended him to fingers to Madame X- , but never opened change his climate: then he went to Nice. his lips to her and confined his conversation VERE FOSTER, "The Two Duchesses," quoting to Montbrun. Upon this the hysterical lady's a letter from Augustus Foster to the Duch- nerves gave way and she went off in a faint- ess of Devonshire, January 10, 1815. | ing fit. Ney and others went off too, loudly One day Masséna and his aides-de-camp expressing their disgust at the conduct of were sitting on the bed of Sante-Croix when their chief. Even the reprobate Junot held Masséna announced he was about to give his up his hands in horror at such an outrage. faithful servants twenty pounds each. Mar. Masséna's march was delayed by the fatigues bot rather maliciously said twenty pounds of his companion; he stayed for a week at a year in rentes via gères would satisfy them. Visen, a delay which no military man could At the mention of this terrific sum, Masséna, understand. When he arrived at Mortagoa, who had only forty-five thousand a year, instead of inspecting the position of Lord roared like a tigress whose cubs are at. Wellington, he was searching for a lodging tacked. “Wretch," he cried out, "you want for Madame X M. Thiers states that to ruin me.” Sante-Croix expressed strong. the presence of a lady had a bad effect among ly his opinion that the twenty pounds should | the troops. She was obliged to ride on horse. 407 Masséna, General Maule, William H. OF THE GREAT back on account of the rocky roads and in that makes no difference. Sitting here as a the retreat from Santarem she kept tumbling British judge it is my duty to tell you that off her horse and was at last obliged to be this is not a country where there is one law carried by grenadiers, whilst Masséna kept for the rich and another for the poor."--Law exclaiming, “What a fault I have committed Magazine and Review, May, 1858. in bringing a woman to the war!”—Temple A little girl was in the witness box and, Bar, February, 1892, citing "Memoirs of as is usual, before she was allowed to be General Marbot.” sworn she was examined by the judge as to MAULE, William Henry, 1788-1858. Justice her understanding of the nature of an oath of the Common Pleas of London. and her belief in a future state. “Do you A prisoner was found guilty of a sensa- know what an oath is, my child ?” said Maule. tional murder and, being asked in the usual “Yes, sir; I am obliged to tell the truth." way why sentence should not be passed upon "And if you do always tell the truth where him, exclaimed dramatically, “May God strike will you go to when you die?” “Up to heav- me dead, my lord, if I did it." There was a en.” “And what will become of you if you hushed silence throughout the crowded court. tell lies?” “I shall go down to the naughty The spectators gazed at the prisoner in hor- place, sir.” “Are you quite sure of that?” ror. Maule looked steadily in front of him “Yes, sir; quite sure.” “Let her be sworn," and waited without a movement. At length, said Maule; “it is quite clear that she after a pause of several moments, he coughed knows a great deal more than I do.”—PARRY. and began to address the prisoner in his dry, “Prisoner at the bar, your counsel thinks asthmatic voice as if dealing with some legal you innocent; the counsel for the prosecution point that had been raised in the case: “Pris. thinks you innocent; I think you innocent. oner at the bar, as Providence has not seen But a jury of your countrymen, in the exer- fit to interfere in your case, it now becomes cise of such common sense as they possess, my duty to pronounce upon you the sentence which does not seem to be much, have found of death."--JUDGE PARRY, Cornhill Magazine, you guilty and it remains for me to pass on March, 1915. you the sentence of the law. That sentence A man, being convicted of bigamy, the is that you be kept in imprisonment for one following conversation took place: Clerk of day and, as that day was yesterday, you Assize-What have you to say why judgment may go about your business."-American Law should not be passed upon you according to Review, July-August, 1884. law? Prisoner-Well, my lord, my wife took Hawkins has a story about two young up with a hawker and ran away five years attorneys' clerks fighting in chambers be- ago, and I have not seen her since, and I fore Maule, who promptly decided against married this other woman last winter. Mr. Justice Maule-I will tell you what you one of them. Thereupon, as the unsuccessful one was leaving the room, he called Maule ought to have done; and if you say you did “a damned old fool.” The shocked doorkeep- not know, I must tell you the law conclusive- er reported the matter to the judge, who ly presumes that you did. You ought to have ordered the boy to be brought back. Looking instructed your attorney to bring an action over his desk at the pale and trembling clerk, against the hawker for criminal conversation he read him the following kindly rebuke: with your wife. That would have cost you "I understand that in passing out of this about one hundred pounds. When you had chamber you called me a damned old fool. recovered substantial damages against the I don't say you are wrong, my boy, for a hawker, you ould have instructed your moment; you may be right. I may be a proctor to sue in the ecclesiatical courts for damned old fool, but it would have been more a divorce a mensa atque thoro. That would polite if you had deferred the expression of have cost you two or three hundred pounds your opinion until you were outside. You more. When you had obtained a divorce a may now go.”—PARRY. mensa atque thoro, you would have had to appear by counsel before the House of Lords One of his witty decisions is still good for a divorce a vinculo matrimonii. The bill law and is followed, I believe, by the officials might have been opposed in all its stages in of the Assize court. One of a jury locked up both houses of Parliament; and altogether to consider their verdict sent out for a glass you have been obliged to spend a thousand or of water and the officer inquired of the twelve hundred pounds. You will probably judge whether the request might be granted. tell me that you never had a thousand far- "Well, sir," said Maule, "you are sworn to things of your own in the world; but, prisoner, I keep the jury without meat, drink or fire. Macmillan, Joseph Melbourne, Lord 408 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Now, water is not fire; water is not meat; | pay the poor woman. "No, don't, boy," said and I should certainly hold that water is not he, "for I never intend to pay you this.” And drink; so let the fellow have a glass.”— he was as good as his word, for, however he PARRY. came off with that woman, having been, as MAXIMILIAN, Joseph, 1811-1864. King of they say, a wonderful charitable man, I am Bavaria. sure he died in my debt. But in this manner, as I guess he intended, I stood corrected for The old king of Bavaria preserved every meddling. article he ever put on–from his boots to his hats, from his shirts to his overcoats-from When the Prince of Orange first took up the year 1823 to the date of his death, and | his quarters at Whitehall, on James's flight, moreover, with an eye to the instruction of different public bodies presented addresses to the future historian of dress, had each gar him, and Maynard came at the head of the ment entered in a register according to chron men of the gown. The prince took notice of ological order. He did something more to his great age, and observed that he must have the purpose, however, for his heirs, as he left outlived all the lawyers of his time. “If your two hundred and fifty million of money. highness," answered he, "had not come over ANTHONY B. NORTH PEAT, “Gossip from to our aid, I should have outlived the law Paris." itself.”—LORD JOHN CAMPBELL, "Lives of the MAXIMILIAN, Ferdinand Joseph, 1832- Lord Chancellors,” Maynard. 1867. Emperor of Mexico. MAZARIN, Jules, 1602-1661. French states- There was the warning of the Archduchess man. Sophia. “Remember, my son,” she said to Cardinal Mazarin is said to have been fond Maximilian, ... when bidding him fare of shutting himself up in a room and jump- well, "one does not descend from a throne ing over the chairs arranged in positions except to mount a scaffold.”-FRANCIS GRIB varying the difficulty of clearing them. On BLE, "The Life of the Emperor Francis Jo one occasion he forgot to lock the door. A seph.” young courtier inadvertently entered the He expressed his pleasure at seeing the room and surprised the cardinal in his un- beautiful blue firmament and said: “I al- dignified pursuit. It was an embarrassing po- ways desired that my death should come sition; for Mazarin, he knew, was as haugh- during pleasant weather; this wish at least ty as he was eccentric. The young man was is to be gratified."- DR. SIEGMUND BASCH, equal to the crisis. Assuming the intensest “Mexican Recollections." interest in the proceedings, he said with a well-feigned earnestness: "I will bet your MAYNARD, John, 1602-1690. Lord Commis- eminence two gold pieces that I will beat sioner of the Great Seal. that jump." He had struck the right chord Jeffreys, having once rudely taunted him and in two minutes he was measuring his with having grown so old as to forget his leaping powers with the prime minister, whom law, "True, Sir George," replied he; “I have he took care not to beat; he lost his two gold forgotten more law than you ever learned.” pieces but he gained before long a miter.- Roger North gives us the following anec- The Globe, 1877. dote of Maynard, in which he himself makes M. Tubæuf called one afternoon at the rather a contemptible figure: One afternoon, Palais Mazarin to pay the balance of a con- at the nisi prius court at Westminster, be siderable amount which he had lost to its fore the judge sat a poor, half-starved, old master. The cardinal placed the money in a woman who sold sweetmeats to boys and foot cabinet, from whence he drew a bag contain- men, at the end of the bar, who had desired ing a number of fine precious stones, which the sergeant to pay her two shillings for he kept taking out one by one. “Give Ma- keeping his hat for two terms. She spoke to dame Tubauf," as he handled them in an ab- him two or three times and he took no notice sent manner, "Give Madame Tubeuf,” and of her; and then I told the sergeant that he paused to draw forth another gem, “Give the poor woman wanted her money and I Madame Tubeuf- ” “What?" at last ex- thought he would do well to pay her. The claimed the impatient and expectant husband, sergeant fumbled a little and then said, "Lend who was hoping to be recouped in some de- me a shilling." "Aye, with all my heart,” | gree for his ill luck—“What?" he asked quoth I, “to pay the poor woman.” He took again with outstretched hand. "My compli. it and gave it to her, but she asked for an- | ments," was the calm reply.-Quarterly Re. other. I said I would lend him that also to I view, January, 1883. 409 Maximilian, Joseph OF THE GREAT Melbourne, Lord He [M. Dubourg] told us a story of i sedan chair, whereby he accelerated his death. Cardinal Mazarin. An officer petitioned him which drew from his courtiers the heartless to make him a captain of his life guard. remark that “a hypocrite he lived and a The cardinal answered that he had no occa hypocrite he died.” —COMTE DE BRIENNE, “Me- sion for any other guard than his tutelary | moirs." angel. "Ah, sir,” said the oflicer, “your ene- MAZZINI, Giuseppe, 1805-1872. Italian mies will put him to flight with a few drops statesman. of holy water.” The cardinal replied only that he was not afraid of that holy water. He was on board a merchant ship with a It was a wonder that something worse had friendly captain. At that time there was a not happened to that officer.-JOHN ADAMS, price upon his head, and, his presence on the “Diary and Autobiography.” ship being suspected, officers arrived to search it. The captain, seeing them coming, hustled The wardrobe of his eminence, although Mazzini by force into a concealed cupboard, restricted by the ecclesiastical character of stored with apples, while the detectives were its owner, included five and twenty com on board. Mazzini was deeply indignant and plete suits of every rich material then in offended. “To be found hiding in a cupboard vogue, from the heaviest scarlet to the finest with apples !” he exclaimed, still indignant at ruby lawn. We cannot linger over this elab- the recollection. "I kicked at the door; I orate record, with all its minute niceties of tried to make myself heard; but the captain spotted taffetas and flame-colored petersham, had locked me in so securely, it was no use. of violet doublets and costly baldricks, of And the cupboard was so low that I could scores of garters with their bunches of rib- not stand upright in it. Apples !” he repeat- bons, of endless lace and fine linen, and, ed; "if I had been discovered crouching in a characteristically enough, of scented gloves.- cupboard with apples, I should have died of The Quarterly Review, January, 1883. shame.”—MRS. HAMILTON KING, "Letters and I was walking in the new apartment of Recollections of Mazzini.” his palace when I heard, owing to the noise Among flowers also Mazzini had a char- his slippers made, that the cardinal was acteristic preference. Better than the rose coming. I hid myself behind the tapestry he loved the pale blossoms of the syringa,, and I heard him speaking aloud. "Ah, must whose acrid perfume, suggestive of the hid! I leave all this?” and he halted at every step, den sting in all pleasure, was more typical he was so weak, looking on one side, then on of life. The moon, he once told me half-jok the other. Glancing at the articles which ingly, had a special fascination for him; he struck him most, he exclaimed, sighing from looked upon it as a world in a cradle, and the bottom of his heart, “I must leave all watched her as one would an infant. He this. I had so much trouble in acquiring all had a fancy that one day, when life should be these things and I leave them with regret. developed there, some kind of communication I shall not see them any more where I am would be established between our earth and going to." I sighed heavily so that he heard the moon.-MATHILDE BLIND, The Fortnight- me. “Who is there?” said he. “It is I,” I ly Review, May 1, 1891. replied; “I was waiting here to speak to your eminence of an important letter." MELBOURNE, William Lamb, Viscount “Come,” said he in a piteous tone—he was at Melbourne, 1779-1848. Prime Minister of tired only in a furred dressing gown with a England. night cap on his head; "give me your hand; After a long discussion in a cabinet meet- I am very weak.” de would not let me speak ing at which it was decided to embark on a to him on business. “I am no longer in a reform of the corn laws, the members had fit state," said he; “speak to the king and broken up and were making their way in do what he says. Look at this beautiful Cor some excitement out of Downing street, when regio, this Venus by Titian and this incom Lord Melbourne followed them to the head of parable picture of the Flood by Caraccio. I the stairs and shouted out, “Stop! Stop! Tell must leave all these. Adieu, my dear pic. | me what it is agreed we shall say, whether tures, which I have liked so much and which cheap corn is to lower wages or raise them, have cost me so much money.” ... Four or it doesn't much matter which, but at least we five days before his death, the cardinal had should all say the same thing.” The story himself shaved and his mustache curled. | goes that this appeal of the prime minister He was so thoroughly smothered with paint | was received with shouts of merriment. It that he never looked so white and so pink. | was an address at once characteristic of Lord He then took a turn in his garden in his | Melbourne's devil-may-care manner and his . Melbourne, Lord Mirabeau 410 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES penetrating common sense sagacity.-EIGHTH ter in vain protested that there was no truth DUKE OF ARGYLL, "Autobiography.” in the rumor and that even if there was Met- ternich would not have transacted the busi- His brother George, under-secretary of | ness at his private mansion. Eventually the the Home Office, was as much given to the | crowd had to be dispersed by the police.-G. use of profane expletives as himself. The A. C. SANDEMAN, "Metternich." late Lord Ossington used to relate that, when encountering Lord Melbourne when about to He made his secretary, Pilat, editor of mount his horse at the door of his office, he the Austrian Beobachter (Observer) and of- called his attention to some required modifi- ten wrote articles in it himself; he con- cations of the new Poor Law bill. Lord Mel. trolled the Vienna Jahrbucher and even sub- bourne referred him to George. “I have seen jected historical productions to the fatherly him,” was the reply, "but he damned me and supervision of the censors, of whom there damned the bill and damned the paupers." were no less than twelve in Vienna. The "Well, damn it, what more could he do?” manner in which every word, which savored was the rejoinder.—The Quarterly Review, however remotely, of national or Liberal en- January, 1878. thusiasm or ideals, was deleted by the cen- sors was sometimes extremely ludicrous. In Lord Melbourne was indifferent to hon- a work treating of events quite unconnected ors and distinctions for himself. The young with the Austrian empire the expression "he- Queen Victoria, anxious to show in some way roic champions" was altered to "brave sol- her appreciation of the great services he had | diers," while the sentence, "a band of youth- rendered her at the opening of her reign, ful heroes who flocked around the glorious pressed him to accept the much coveted dec- standard of their country,” became at the di- oration of the Garter. He declined the hon- rection of the censor “a considerable num- or: Why should we waste the resources of ber of young men who voluntarily enlisted the government ?" said he good-humoredly; themselves for public service.”—SANDEMAN, "a garter may attach to us somebody of con- citing W. II. Stiles, "Austria 1848-1849." sequence whom nothing else will reach. But what would be the use of my taking it? I A general on the retired list was one day cannot bribe myself."-MICHAEL MacDon- bemoaning his inactivity in the presence of AGH, The Fortnightly Reriew, August 1, 1902. the chancellor, who suggested cards and the usual pastimes of the idle. “But," expostu- METTERNICH, Clemens Wenzel Nepomuk lated the general, “what would you do if Lothar, 1773-1859, Austrian statesman. you were out of power ?” “You are imagin- During the whole of the repast (the impe. ing," replied Metternich, "an impossible con- rial banquet at the wedding of Napoleon and tingency.”-SANDEMAN Marie Louise] he was in the best of spirits Instances of Metternich's self-satisfac- and, as he was about to rise from the table, tion abound in his autobiography and in his he filled his glass and, advancing to a win- private letters. Here are a few: “I judge dow opening on the gallery which alone sep- of the Revolution more truly than most men arated us from the concourse of people which who have been in the midst of it." ... "I have filled the garden, drank aloud to the health of to meet the German ministers; ... they ex- the King of Rome.-CHANCELLOR PASQUIER, pect me as a messiah.” “The public journals, "Memoirs." which do not usually pass me over, follow It was in the summer of 1817 that I said | me step by step.” “Fain's Memoirs of the that the national conception of Italy was year 1813 are worth reading—they contain purely geographic, and my suggestion that my history as well as Napoleon's"; or, again, “Italy is only a geographical term,” which in a letter to Gautz, in 1825, “As an in- so annoyed Palmerston, is entitled to citizen stance of how right as such is acknowledged ship.-METTERNICH, letter dated November by the majority of people, I may mention 19, 1849, to Count Proskesch-Osten. the thorough confidence shown in me by all The only unpleasant incident was caused parties.” Not less pleasing is a sentence which occurs in a letter describing his daugh- by some newspapers hostile to the ex-chan- ter Hermione: "She is very like my mother; cellor, who suddenly announced that Metter- therefore, possesses some of my charm.”— nich in order to celebrate his return had SAXDEMAN. promised to redeem all pawn tickets under the value of twenty gulden. Deceived by this "I draw the line between that which announcement crowds of those possessed of | was and that which is,” said he with com- pawn tickets surrounded the villa. The por. | posure. “The demarcation begins at the 411 Mirabean OF THE GREAT , Lord Melbourneeleventh hour of the night between the 13th I have heard it said that in order to and 14th of March, 1848.” That is to say, I gain his wife he had recourse to methods in his own eyes Metternich's resignation which show how little delicacy of feeling changed the whole spirit of the universe. he possessed. Her parents had refused his Though he lived to see the work of his hands proposals and he was anxious to get rid of undone, a sublime self-esteem softened his a dangerous rival; he therefore bribed one of regret. “I am the man of that which was," the maid servants in the house to give him said he, and was content.-CHARLES WHIB a rendezvous, and drove by night to a neigh- LEY, Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, No boring street in order to give an air of mys- vember, 1907. tery to his proceedings; here he left the MIRABEAU, Gabriel Honoré Riqueti, 1749- carriage for several hours. His rival's spies 1791. French statesman. soon brought back the news that the Count de Mirabeau had a rendezvous in his mis- In February, 1750, the marquis writes: “I tress's house and had stayed there several have nothing to tell you of my enormous hours. In this way the young lady's name child, except that he beats his nurse. ... was compromised and the rival returned de- Your nephew is as ugly as if he were Satan's.” feated. The parents were only too happy to -Temple Bar, January, 1892. hush up a scandal by consenting to the mar- “I have the honor to inform your high- riage. This union, which began by a love ness that I have been appointed colonel of founded on fraud, was very soon dissolved your highness's regiment." "Monsieur," owing to reciprocal infidelities and they sep- writes back the father, "next to the mis arated forever.-ETIENNE DUMONT, “Remi- fortune of having you for a son there is niscences of Mirabeau.” nothing would affect me more sensibly than One day he and other pupils of David the misfortune of having you for my colonel.” had the fancy to spend an idle hour in listen- -Bentley's Miscellany, 1855. ing to the debates in the Assembly, where Mirabeau, “accused and convicted of the every one went in and out at their pleasure. crime of abduction and seduction,” had been But they were very little edified by what condemned “to be beheaded, the sentence to they heard and saw. The Abbé Maury was be carried out in effigy by the executioner”; speaking and the outrageous behavior, the in addition he was to pay a fine of five thou- rows and quarrels, the discreditable manner sand livres and forty thousand livres dam- in which the discussions were carried on, so ages. . . . It was high time for Mirabeau to shocked them that they allowed their disgust be thinking how he could avert the conse- to become more apparent than was prudent. quences of the sentence passed on him at Presently they observed a strange, ugly- Pontarlier, if he was not to be overtaken by looking man, who was watching them with the completion of the period of five years, a mocking smile. "What gives you the right after which his condemnation to pay M. de to laugh at us, Monsieur ?" asked one of them Monnier forty thousand livres would become with irritation. "Your youth, my friends, final. The period expired in May, 1782, and and above all your naïveté. Laws are like it was all the more important for him to "get sauces; you should never see them made." his head replaced on his shoulders” as the He bowed and turned away; it was Mira- suspension or deprivation of his civil rights beau.-CATHERINE BEARNE, “Heroines of might be a weapon in the hands of M. de French Society." Marignane, who had threatened him with a He required much personal service, as suit for separation from his wife. For sev- he was very particular about his appearance; eral months Mirabeau had been studying his dressing occupied a great deal of time; with his lawyer the procedure for obtaining he enlivened the proceedings occasionally by the cancellation of the sentence. . . . An bestowing a few kicks and cuffs on Teusch, agreement was signed before two notaries at who took them as marks of friendship, and if Besançon and was ratified on August 14 by his master was too busy, and passed a few the Bailli de Pontarlier. M. de Monnier days without paying him these small atten- agreed to consider void and of no effect the tions, he did his work in a melancholy way, sentence pronounced against Mirabeau and and the time passed heavily. “What's the to renounce all its effects. ... It was matter with you, Teusch? You seem very strange that a civil agreement should be dull.” “M. le Comte has neglected me com- capable of annulling the consequences of a pletely lately.” “What do you mean?" "M. criminal prosecution --LOUIS BARTHOU, “Mi le Comte is so solemn with me now.” So that rabeau," į out of good humor he was obliged from time. Mirabeau Moltke 412 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to time to hit him a blow in the stomach and, Addressing Cabanis in the assured and if he was knocked down, he went into fits of calm tones of the days of his health, he laughter. continued, “I shall die to-day. At that point I once recollect hearing him make a re- there remains but one thing to be sprinkled port on the city of Marseilles. Each sen- with perfumes, covered with flowers and tence was interrupted from the côté droit lapped in music, so that I may enter happy with low abuse; the words calumniator, liar, the sleep that ends not. Quick! Let them be assassin and rascal were prodigally bestowed called, that I may be washed and my whole upon him. On a sudden he stopped and with toilet seen to.”—F. PIERS HEALEY, Dublin honied accent, as if what he had said had been University Magazine, January, 1850. most favorably received, "I am waiting, gen MOLL PITCHER. tlemen," said he, 'until the fine compliments The secretary submitted a number of sag- you are paying me are exhausted.” gestions for the subjects of such pageants. We found that even the postillions had Among those which had been proposed, Miss a curious way of expressing their admiration Roberts said there was one showing Moll for him. “You have very bad horses,” we Pitcher at the battle of Monmouth. The sec- said to a post boy between Calais and Amiens. retary ventured delicately to inquire, “Who “Yes,” he said, "the two in the shafts are was Moll Pitcher?" Miss Roberts triumph- bad, but my Mirabeau is a good one." This antly produced an extract from a newspaper was the third horse, which was in the middle setting forth that the people of Carlisle, Pa., and which was commonly called the Mira were about to celebrate Moll Pitcher's birth- beau. It was the one that did most of the day, claiming her as a former resident of work and, as long as their Mirabeau was that town, and boasting of some of her good, they did not trouble.—DUMONT. grandchildren among its citizens. The secre- “Ah, how the immorality of my youth," tary hastily but emphatically disclaimed any he used to say in words that sum up the desire in the slightest degree to impugn from tragedy of many a puissant life, “how the his own knowledge the accuracy of any of the immorality of my youth hinders the public legends, myths or traditions regarding Moll good.”—John MORLEY, The Fortnightly Re- | Pitcher's participation in said battle, but had view, August 1, 1876. merely fallen back upon the statement to Mirabeau received repeated challenges, him of the late General Stryker, that there to which he always returned this invariable was no historical basis for any of said answer: "Sir, your favor is received and stories.—Proceedings of the New Jersey His. your name is on my list, but I warn you torical Society, 1910. that the list is long and that I grant no pref MOLTKE, Helmuth Karl Bernhard, Count erences.” von, 1800-1891. Prussian general. Into the crouching felinity of Robes As is well known, he had agreed to trans- pierre, then hardly known, he had peered, late the whole of Gibbon's “Decline and Fall and his conclusion has often been quoted: 1 of the Roman Empire” for the sum of eighty "That man will go far; he believes everything pounds. When he had translated seven of the he says.”—John S. SMITH, “Mirabeau.” nine volumes the publisher failed and he got At all events, we know that the assassi- | nothing.-SIDNEY WHITMAN, The Fortnightly nation of Lafayette-twice it seems plotted- Review, January 1, 1895. would have left the National Guard in the Moltke was terribly hampered in his hands of some less popular and more pliant journeys by the slowness and indolence of chief; and that, when the general specifically the Turkish official who accompanied him. accused his rival of the horrid project, nam- “Without your champagne," he writes, “I ing time, place and means, he won no better should never have towed my fat Effendi so defense than the reply: “You were sure of far from Samsun to Karput. I always hold it, and I am alive! How good of you! And out to him the prospect of a Gumushbashi, or you aspire to play a leading part in the Silver Head, if he rode well and we reached revolution!”—Dublin University Magazine, our quarters for the night. On a starry July, 1850. night,” he continues, "I was standing on the He was irritated by Madame le Jay's | ruins of the old Roman fortress of Zeugma. dishonesty and one day he said to her in my Deep down in the rocky ravine below glis- presence, “Madame le Jay, if honesty did tened the Euphrates and the sound of its not exist, it would be necessary to invent it waters filled the peaceful evening. There in order to attain riches."-DUMONT. I did I see Cyrus and Alexander, Xenophon, 413 Moltke OF THE GREAT Mirabeau Cæsar and Julian pass by me in the moon face suggested the idea that he had not light; from this very point had they seen obtained the information he desired. Some the empire of Chosroes's dynasty across the time after the general went to another group river, and seen it exactly as I saw it, for here of people and there joined the officer whose nature is of stone and unchangeable. So I name he had inquired. Suddenly we saw him determined to sacrifice to the memory of the turning away, with the same winning, child- great Roman people those golden grapes which like smile on his face. Afterwards when we they first introduced into Gaul and which I inquired from the young officer what the had carried from the western to the eastern general had asked him, he replied, "He asked frontier of their broad empire. I hurled me who that officer over there was.” “And down the bottle, which dived, danced and what did you say?” “I said that it was my slipped down the stream towards the Indian brother.” We had guessed this but the gen- ocean. You will be right, however, in sur eral gave up any more inquiring the name of mising that I had first emptied it. ..., the two brothers who were at his evening That bottle had but one fault-it was the party.-GENERAL Y. VON VERDY, “Memoirs of last I had.”—HAROLD A. PERRY, Macmillan's Moltke." Magazine, May-June, 1891. The field marshal was very averse to In the year 1869 the general, with the i tales of forebodings or fulfilment of dreams. officers of the great general staff, went to Several times he has told me that he dreamed Saxony for their annual reconnaissance. Dur one night in the sixties that he was ascend- ing our stay at Dresden, his royal highness ing a ladder, but that he fell down every time the Crown Prince Albert, now his Majesty he tried to reach the sixty-sixth step. He the King of Saxony, took the greatest inter never spoke of this dream until after the est in our work and the intimate relations year 1866; and then he remarked in telling then began between the prince and the chief it that if he had died in the year named, and of the general staff and the officers which the dream had been known, everybody would proved so beneficial in the war of 1870-1. On have taken it as a prophecy.—MAJOR HENRY this occasion the king gave a dinner in our von BURT, "Memoirs of Moltke." honor in the palace. When it was over and we were going down stairs, the general sud- "Have you never heard that I sent lumps denly stopped on the landing, saying in a re- of sealing wax and sand to the Scientific proachful tone to himself, “How thoughtless Society for meteoric stones? That I made of me not to have put on my Saxon order to- up false Runic inscriptions and other things day.” However, his aide-de-camp, Major de of that sort? I have lately been told that a Claer, soon pacified him, remarking, "I should money-making author has ascribed such child- have taken the liberty of drawing your excel- ishness to me in some newspaper. Perhaps lency's attention to it, but you do not possess he thinks it spirited to represent me to the one.” A contented smile passed over the public as mystifying honest men. Is that general's face, but on the next landing he being witty? I do not know, indeed; but, at stopped again, saying with certain bashful- all events, there is not one word of truth in ness, “It is rather remarkable that I have the whole story.”—Leipzig Daheim, October, yet no Saxon order.” 1866, interview with General von Moltke. A subject that interested him often en- | . His great delight was in gardening and grossed him so that he forgot people whom for hours together he was to be seen in an he might have been expected to remember. | old straw hat and a gardener's holland suit Soon after the war of 1866, traveling from handling the pruning knife or the gardener's Berlin to Potsdam, he met an officer who scissors. Once when on a visit to his brother- had been on his own staff and asked him, “I in-law, Major von Burt, near Dresden, the forget where you were during the war." | news had got about that the great strategist Another time two brothers were at his house was staying there. A stranger, seeing one at an evening party; both were captains of who seemed to be an old gardener in the the general staff. The general came up to a grounds, asked him when would be the best group of gentlemen, one of whom was one of chance of seeing Moltke. "Oh," said the the brothers. After joining in the conversa- | gardener, "about three o'clock.” Whereupon tion he asked the latter, “Just tell me who the stranger gratefully gave his informant a is that tall officer near the fireplace on the mark. What was his surprise, upon return- other side; I forget his name.” “That’s | ing in the afternoon, he saw the field mar- my brother, your excellency," was the an- | shal—the old gardener of the forenoon-sur- swer. A smile stealing over the general's | rounded by his friends. Moltke held up his Moltko Monk, General 414 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES om hand: "Ah, I have got your mark.”—WHIT certainly be excellent when Moltke began to XAN. joke. Bismarck always regarded Moltke as Count Moltke was once invited to the & droll fellow, saying that Moltke became loquacious when there was a probability of Swiss embassy in Berlin. When, accompanied war and that he became ten years younger by an aide-de-camp, he reached the hotel, it when the trouble of 1870 began.-DR. PAUL was a few minutes before the time named LIMAN, “Bismarck in History, Caricature and in the invitation. The field marshal paced Anecdote." the street to and fro until the hour struck, and then only did he present himself for The following day I asked the field mar- admission at the door.—Temple Bar, May, shal to use one of my coats. While he was 1888. out with my wife it began to drizzle; when He never drank beer. An admirer of she proposed to have the carriage closed, he his, a Munich brewer, sent him some bottled said with that humor peculiar to him, “Oh, beer, begging him to try it, which of course please don't, it does not matter; it is not my he did. There being no beer glass at hand coat.”—COUNT EDWARD BETHUSY-HUC, "Remi. he took about half a glass of it in a tea niscences.” glass and, after drinking a little, said, “There Once he went from Ragatz to Lindau, as are people who can drink a whole glass of he thought, incognito; he ordered a room on this." the ground floor of the Bayerische Hof. As He disliked losing at cards, so the fam- he was tired he went to bed early, but forgot ily used to manage as far as possible that the to draw his blinds down. When he was just game should go as he wished it to go. His going to sleep he heard music drawing near wife thought it quite fair to cheat a little and soon it was beneath his windows, which to attain this end, so the family were trained were lit up by the glare of the torches of the to let him win, if they could, without his fire brigade. It was clear that he had been noticing their maneuver and they would recognized after all and that he was going reckon up the sums to the smallest amount. to be serenaded. The difficulty for him now “It is really wonderful that I have won in was to get dressed without being seen. He spite of my bad play," he remarked to me dared not strike a light. But, as he himself once suspiciously, but he abided by the re- afterwards related, the glare of the torches sult. The points were always half a pfennig lit up his room and the curious crowd stood and even when he played with the kaiser the close to the windows, their noses pressed stake was not higher.-F. A. DRESSLER, against the pánes. In spite of all that, he “Moltke in His Home." felt that he must rise and at each piece of dress he put on loud and endless hurrahs were Moltke's Only Joke. On the evening of heard.-MAJOR HENRY VON BURT, “Memoirs the day on which the decisive vote was taken of Moltke." Bismarck asked Moltke to come to him. Both therefore left the room for the purpose of A story was circulated at that time, not discussing military preparations which the in the press, but in society, which coul occasion had rendered advisable. In the but be disagreeable to the field marshal, course of an hour they returned and Bis- greatly though it seemed to do him honor. marck gave directions that the despatches It was that in the evening of the day at concerning the ultimatum be sent to Saxony, Gravelotte King William had asked the chief Hanover and Hessia. About two o'clock Big- of the general staff what was to be done if marck looked at his watch and remarked: "In the enemy maintained his position the next twenty-two hours from now our troops will day. Moltke, so ran the story, had answered, have entered on the territory of Saxony, Han- | "Attack again, your majesty," and when the over and Hessia.” Moltke was in very jovial king replied that he had hardly the heart to spirits and said: “The bridge at Dresden do that after such painful losses, Moltke add. has been blown up"—(gesprengt, which may ed, “Then I must tender your majesty my mean either blown up or sprinkled). After resignation.” Doubting the authenticity of enjoying for a moment the surprise which | this anecdote I confidentially asked the field was pictured on every face, not excepting marshal about it; he declared it to be false Bismarck's, at this almost impossible news, from beginning to end, without even an ap- Moltke added, “You see it was a hot and parent basis in the occurrences of the evening. dusty day, and so the sprinkling cart passed "I should never,” he added, "least of all in over the bridge.” Count Lehndorff suggested time of war, have quitted my sovereign that the chances of war being declared must | abruptly, in the face of the enemy. That is 415 Moltke Monk, General OF THE GREAT contrary not only to discipline, but also to the | Moltke was right. At this time it seeins that bonor of a soldier. The germ of such legends Bismarck did not know the full power of the may, perhaps, have been the misinterpretation army at his disposal, or else he would have of what occurred more than once in the course acted at that moment.-The Fortnightly Re- of both wars. The king, who, as is well view, December 1, 1878. known, acquainted himself exactly with all He talked about all sorts of things, my plans before they were carried out, pos- amongst others about a stag hunt which he sessed, in a far higher degree than was had at Fontainebleau in 1867 with the Em- known among people and in the army, a re peror Napoleon. In it he once rode behind markably sharp eye for all the weak points, the emperor, who lost his hat. The hat fell and sometimes demanded with great tenacity on a juniper bush and remained suspended, that his criticism, in itself well founded, so that Moltke was able to get it and return should be taken into practical account. Even it to the emperor. “So I was able," said he, in war there are many situations in which it "to give the emperor back his hat. And is impossible to make any plan without a three years later we took his crown.”- weak point, without trusting in the good PRINCE HOHENLOHE-SCHILLINGFUERST, “Mem- fortune and valor of the troops. So, if the oirs." king could not be induced to yield theoret- A newspaper correspondent has told us ically, I was repeatedly compelled to declare, that the leader of the great German armies, “Then your majesty must graciously have Count von Moltke, has not read anything- the goodness to command yourself. My wis- dom is at an end. I can make no other pro- not even a history-of our war and that, posal.' After such a declaration my advice when questioned on the subject, he has said that he could not afford to spend his time was always followed.”—BETHUSY-Huc. over “the wrangling of two armed mobs.”_ At another dinner the chancellor spoke G. C. EGGLESTON, "A Rebel's Recollections." also of the Luxemburg affair of 1867. He In the Reichstag and in fact everywhere said that he advised the king to yield and he defends his policy against those who were the marshal appears in uniform, being credit- ed with an absolute abhorrence of civilian at that time for war—that is to say, evident. clothes. Indeed, his adjutant informed a ly against the military party. "The troops New York friend that he did not own any of Bavaria, Baden, even Wurttemberg, were until a few years ago, when a distinguished not ready, and we were not sure of their support. While I was at the Tuileries,” he American soldier called on him in a traveling suit. Moltke, to mark his displeasure, pur- added, "at the time of the exposition, I said chased a similar garb, ready made, in which to myself, Who knows whether if we had war to return the visit of General S. He has at that moment, the French would have been never worn it since.- GENERAL JAMES GRANT at Berlin, or our armies at Paris ? Count WILSON, Cosmopolitan Magazine, December, Moltke had none of these doubts. On the re- 1890. turn of the king of Prussia from this same visit to Paris, Moltke stayed at Brussels. Three weeks ago as I was riding with After dinner at the court they talked over him we passed a count who looked older than their coffee of the recent Luxemburg inci. either of us. "He looks," said Moltke, "much dent. “As a man,' said he, 'I cannot but re- older than he is; he has used his body more joice that we have escaped war, but, as a than he has his mind.” We fell upon the soldier and a Prussian, I regret it. We were question whether men as they come near their ready and the French were not. In three end would like to begin the battle of life weeks I should have led our armies up to anew. “Who," said the general, “would like Paris. The generals present all exclaimed to live his life over again? I would not mine. at this; they thought he was intoxicated with The old story of the Hindoo philosopher is his great success of the previous year in Bo. true, when he said that life is a punishment hemia and that he had lost his balance. for transgressions committed under an earlier ‘Bring a map,' said Moltke, “and I will show form of being."-GEORGE BANCROFT, Scrib- you our campaign.' He then pointed out al- | ner's Magazine, January, 1905. most the exact stages of 1870, except that MONK, George, 1608-1670. British general. one of the German armies, debouching from His complete ignorance of nautical matters Luxemburg, which was then in the power of became a standing joke. When his ship wag Germany, turned Metz.” When we think that | coming into action and the master cried lar. the French troops then did not have their board or starboard, Monk used to reply with chassepots, we are inclined to think Count | a cheery shout of “Ay, aye, boys, let us board Monk, General Morris, Gouverneur 416 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES them," and he never heard the last of it. he "framed his fancy towards” the eldest When at nightfall of the first day he at daughter, Jane. He married her in 1505. length got into action he refused to retire, The union, if the fruit of compassion, was though his master urgently showed him the most satisfactory in result.-SIDNEY LEE, danger he ran from the fireships. “Why," he "Great Englishmen of the Sixteenth Century," cried, “the very powder in this ship is enough quotations from William Roper's "Memoirs to blow a fireship from it.” of Sir Thomas More.” Eager to propitiate the Scots, he kept I have heard it reported that he wooed open house at Dalkeith, and through the in- her [he was twice married] for a friend of fluence of the Countess of Buccleugh the no- his, not once thinking to have her himself; bility began to accept of his hospitality. but, she wisely answering him that he might They soon came to have a liking for the speed, if he would speak in his own behalf, kindly general. He received them indeed so telling his friend what she had said unto cordially, and seemed so anxious to be on him, with his good liking he married her and good terms with them, that there is no doubt did that which otherwise he would never have that some of them began to see in the simple- thought to have done. minded soldier a possible instrument for the revival of their party. Early in November, . But of all strangers Erasmus challenged 1655, he had intercepted two autograph let unto himself his love most especially, which ters from the king, one addressed to “2," had long continued by mutual letters ex. whom he knew to be Lord Glencairn; the pressing great affection; and increased so other to "T," a cypher he did not understand. much that he took a journey especially into This letter, however, was of a highly compro England to see and enjoy his personal ac- mising nature. “T” was told that the king quaintance and more entire familiarity; at was sure of his affection and he was encour which time it is reported how that he, who aged to be ready when the time was ripe. conducted him in this passage, procured that According to his usual practise Monk took Sir Thomas More and he should first meet copies of both letters and allowed them to together in London at the lord mayor's proceed to their destination. The copies he table, neither of them knowing each other. forwarded at once to Cromwell, assuring him And in the dinner time they chanced to fall that he would soon know to whom the letter into argument, Erasmus still endeavoring to addressed to “T” was delivered, and be able defend the worser part; but he was so sharp- to deal with him as he deserved. To his in ly set upon and opposed by Sir Thomas More, tense annoyance it was delivered to himself. that perceiving he was now about to argue Cromwell seems to have thoroughly enjoyed with a readier wit than ever before he had the joke, but Monk was furious, and vented met withal, he broke forth into these words, his anger by arresting Glencairn, whom he not without some choler: “Aut tu es Morus evidently suspected of being at the bottom of aut nullus," whereto Sir Thomas More re- it. ... Cromwell never forgot the letter plied: “Aut tu es Erasmus aut diabolus," “T.” Shortly before his death he wrote to because at that time he was strangely dis- Monk: "There be some that tell me there be guised and had sought to defend impious a certain cunning fellow in Scotland called propositions.—CRESACRE MORE (great-grand- George Monk who is said to lie in wait there son), “Life of Sir Thomas More.” to introduce Charles Stuart; I pray you use “It happened one day,” says Mr. Aubrey your diligence to send him up to me."- in his “Manuscript Lives,” “that a mad Tom JULIAN CORBETT, “Monk.” of Bedlam came up to Sir Thomas More, as MORE, Sir Thomas, 1478-1535. Lord Chan- he was contemplating, according to his cus- cellor of England. tom, on the leads of his gatehouse at Chel. As a wooer he seems to have been more sea, and had a mind to have thrown him from philosophic than ardent. He made the ac the battlements, crying out, "Leap, Tom, quaintance of an Essex gentleman named leap.' The chancellor was in his gown and Colte, who had three daughters, and the sec besides ancient and unable to struggle witb ond daughter, whom he deemed the "fairest such a strong fellow. My lord had a little and best favored," moved affection in More. dog with him. “Now (said he) let us first But the young philosopher curbed his pas. throw the little dog down and see what sport sion; he "considered that it would be both that will be': so the dog was thrown over, grief and some shame also to the eldest to 'Is not that fine sport? (said his lordship) see her younger sister preferred before her in Let us fetch him up and try again. As the marriage.” Accordingly, "of a certain pity" | madman was going down my lord fastened 417 Monk, General Morris, Gouverneur OF THE GREAT the door and called for help.”—WILLIAM Henry VIII. appointed Sir Thomas More SEWARD, "Anecdotes of Distinguished Per- to carry an angry message to Francis I. of sons." France. Sir Thomas told his majesty that, He used, when he was in London a jus. if he carried the message to so violent a king tice of the peace, to go to the sessions at as Francis, it might cost him his head. Newgate, as other justices did; amongst “Never fear," said the king, if Francis whom it happened that one of the ancient should cut off your head, I would make every justices of the peace was wont to chide the Frenchman now in London a head shorter.” poor men that had their purses cut for not “I am obliged to your majesty,” said Sir keeping them more warily, saying that their Thomas, “but I much fear if any of their negligence was cause that there were so many heads will fit my shoulders.”—T. F. THISEL- cutpurses brought thither. Which when Sir TON-DYER, “Royalty in All Ages.” Thomas had heard him often speak at one The Duke of Rutland is descended from time especially, the night after he sent for Sir Thomas Manners, thirteenth Lord de Ros, one of the chief cutpurses that was in the created Earl of Rutland in 1525. This peer, prison and promised him that he would stand by the way, made a pun in dog Latin, about his good friend if he would cut that justice's his creation, observing to Sir Thomas More, purse, whilst he sat the next day on the Lord Chancellor, “Honores mutant Mores." bench and presently make a sign thereof un “Nay, by your leave, my lord,” replied More, to him; the fellow gladly promised him to do “the pun is better in English, 'Honors change it. The next day therefore when they sat Manners.'”-Pall Mall Gazette, 1877. again, that thief was called amongst the Early in the morning of the 6th of July first; who being accused of his fact said he was carried from the Tower to Tower that he would excuse himself sufficiently if Hill for execution. His composure knew no he were but permitted in private to speak to diminution. “I pray thee see me safely up, some one on the bench; he was bidden there- said he to the officer, who led him from the fore to choose one whom he would, and he Tower to the steps of the frail scaffold; “as presently chose that grave old man who had for my coming down I can shift for my- his pouch at his girdle, and whilst he round- self.” He encouraged the headsman to do his ed him in the ear he cunningly cuts his purse, duty fearlessly: "Pluck up thy spirits, man; and taking leave solemnly goes down to his be not afraid to do thine office; my neck is place; Sir Thomas knowing by a sign that very short.” He seemed to speak in jest it was despatched taketh presently an occa- as he moved his beard from the block, with sion to move all the bench to distribute some the remark that it had never committed alms upon a poor needy fellow that was there, treason.—LEE. beginning himself to do it. When the old man came to open his purse, he sees it cut MORRIS, Gouverneur, 1752-1816. American away and wondering said that he had it when statesman. he came to sit there that morning. Sir At a breakfast table he was in close con- Thomas replied in a pleasant manner, “What? versation with a gentleman, to whose har- Will you charge any of us with felony?" He angue he had listened patiently, till it was beginning to be angry and ashamed of the his turn to reply. He began accordingly, matter, Sir Thomas calls the cutpurse and but the gentleman was inattentive and a bad wills him to give him his purse again, coun- listener. “Sir," said Mr. Morris, "if you seling the good man hereafter not to be so will not attend to my argument I will ad- bitter a censurer of innocent men's negligence dress myself to the teapot,” and went on with when he himself could not keep his purse much animation of tone and gesture, making safe in that open assembly.—CRESACRE MORE. the teapot the representative of his opponent, When Sir Thomas More was chancellor till he had finished his replication. in the reign of Henry VIII., he ordered a The day after the accident [resulting gentleman to pay a sum of money to a poor in the amputation of his left leg] a friend woman whom he had wronged. The gentle- called to see him, who thought it his duty man said, “Then I hope your lordship will to offer as much consolation as he could, on grant me a long day to pay it." "I will an event so melancholy. He dwelt upon the grant your motion," said the chancellor; good effects such a trial would produce on "Monday next is St. Barnabas's day, which his character and moral temperament and is the longest day in the year; pay it to the the diminished inducements it would leave widow on that day, or I will commit you to for seeking the pleasures and dissipations of the Fleet prison.”—PERCY, "Anecdotes." | life, into which young men are apt to be led. Mouton, General Murat, Princess Caroline WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 418 “My good sir," replied Mr. Morris, "you ar. man. Agar tells how more than once he said gue the matter so handsomely, and point out to him at Naples, “What gives me the most so clearly the advantage of being without legs, heartfelt satisfaction when I think of my mil. that I am almost tempted to part with the itary career is that I have never seen a man other.” To another person, who visited him fall killed by my own hand. Doubtless it is on the same occasion and gave utterance to possible that in firing a pistol shot at enemies his feelings of sympathy and regret, he re- who attacked me, or whom I was pursuing, plied, “Oh, sir, the loss is much less than I may have wounded some one, even mortally; you imagine; I shall doubtless be a steadier but, if so, I know nothing of it. If a man man with one leg than with two."-JARED had ever fallen dead before me by my act SPARKS, “Life of Gouverneur Morris." the picture of it would always be before me and would pursue me to the grave." This MOUTON, Georges, Count Lobau, 1770-1838. was why, when he led his most famous French general. charges, the diamond-hilted saber remained General Mouton, who was a great favor. in the scabbard. He had the same horror of ite of the emperor Napoleon, was visiting his military executions. Caroline used to tell, illustrious chief one morning at the Tuileries, how after a mutiny at Leghorn, when a when his majesty, happening to look out of court martial had condemned the three ring. the window, beheld in the court yard a very leaders to death, he was so impressed by the shabby-looking vehicle. “Is that your car- men's regret for their misconduct and filled riage, Mouton ?” asked the emperor. “Yes, with such pity for their fate, that he carried sire." "It is not fitting that one of my out a sham execution at sunrise, arranged bravest generals should go about in a hack- that the condemned men should fall before a ney coach." "Sire, I am not a Cresus and volley of blank cartridges, and had them cannot afford a better.” The next day Mou- covered up for a while and removed in the ton received a check on the Bank of France dark to a place where they were given dis- for three hundred thousand francs. About guises and shipped away from the port.-A. a fortnight afterwards Mouton again paid a HILLIARD ATTERIDGE, “Joachim Murat.” visit to the Tuileries in the same hackney coach. On looking out, the emperor's coun- He was reviewing several battalions in tenance clouded over, and he looked greatly the Campo di Marte when in the midst of the displeased as he noticed the obnoxious vehicle. fire one of the officers of his staff, who "Did you not receive an order for three hun. stood near the king, was wounded by a bullet. dred thousand francs ?” he inquired of the The wounded man had stood so immediately general. “Yes, sire," replied Mouton, "and I behind the king that all present supposed that the ball had been directed against the am truly grateful for the gift; but if your majesty insists upon my spending it, I would king himself, and what made the case more rather return the money.”—REES HOWELL serious was that the shot had come from a GRONOW, “Recollections." battalion of Royal Guards amongst whom were many Carbonari. The officers in at- MURAT, Joachim, 1767-1815. French gen- tendance upon the king entreated him to or- eral, King of Naples. der the fire to cease, but he smiled as he Everyone knew that the theatrically replied, "I see that you suspect that the dressed cavalry commander was also a leader bullet was purposely fired at me, but you who was ready without a moment's hesita- | are in error, for children never desire the tion to ride into the thickest of the fiercest death of their father.” As he uttered these mêlée. He had the reputation not only of words he presented himself successively in the reckless courage of action but also of the front of each battalion and ordered them to cool disregard of danger while waiting for fire. The intrepidity of the king entirely his opportunity--inactive under a deadly fire. destroyed any latent feelings against him It was told how more than once, when an which might have existed in the minds of the aide-de-camp brought him a message and Carbonari soldiers.-GENERAL PEPE, "Mem. waited near him, he would turn to the officer oirs." and say, “You had better ride off, sir, or I After his elevation to the rank of a will be getting you killed.” prince of the French empire, he halted, in Strange as it may seem, this thorough the close of the late war, at a small town soldier, whose orders on the battle-field often in Germany, where he stayed for two or three meant swift death to hundreds and pro days; and, on finding the bread prepared for longed suffering to hundreds more, shrank | his table of an inferior kind, he despatched with horror from the idea of killing a fellow | one of his suite to order the best baker in 419 Mouton, Gonoral Murat, Princess Caroline OF THE GREAT the town to attend him, to receive from him thoughts of reviving the kingdom of Poland, his directions respecting this precious article and when the would-be king arrived with a of life. A baker who had been long estab. Polish guard of honor and his fantastic uni- lished in the place was selected for the pur. form, he was met by the biting words of the pose; and upon the aide-de-camp ordering emperor, “Go and put on your proper uni- him to wait upon the prince immediately, form; you look like a clown.”—R. P. DUNNE- he observed, to the no little surprise of the PATTISON, “Napoleon's Marshals." officer, “It is useless my going; the prince Among other things he told me that will never employ me." Upon being pressed when he was about to quit Naples (his idea to state his reasons, he declined assigning of departure being a secret) he took a walk any; but as the order of the messenger was with the queen and, hearing the popular ac- peremptory, he followed him and was im- clamations around him, said to her: "Ah, mediately admitted to Murat, with whom he the poor people. They are ignorant of the stayed about ten minutes and then retired. misfortune they are about to suffer. They As he quitted the house in which the prince know not that I am going away." I listened lodged, he observed to the aide-de-camp, "I smiling, but he, while he related the incident, told you the prince would not employ me- seemed still touched by a sense of the public he has dismissed me with this," displaying sorrows he had caused.—MARMONT, Duke of a purse of ducats. Upon being again pressed Ragusa, "Memoirs.” to explain the reason of his singular con- duct, he replied: “The Prince Murat, when Disdaining to allow his eyes to be bound, a boy, was apprenticed to a biscuitmaker in and holding the portraits of his wife and the south of France, at the time I was a children in his hand, he said in a firm voice, journeyman to him, and I have often thrashed "Aim at my heart and spare my face.” His him for being idle; the moment he saw me orders were executed and thus perished, just now he instantly remembered me, and, pierced by twelve bullets, at forty-eight years without entering into the subject of our of age, the brave soldier who had come ancient acquaintance, or of that which led scathless out of so many battles and who me to his presence, he hastily took this purse | when seated on the throne had never known of ducats from the drawer of the table where | how to refuse a pardon.-GENERAL PEPE. he sat, gave it to me and ordered me to retire.”—JOHN CARR, “Tour in Holland and MURAT, Princess Caroline, 1833-1902. French nobility. Germany in 1806.” My birth was registered at Trenton, New Some years I made a hundred thousand Jersey. Great was our astonishment on re- francs' worth of suits, great coats and uni ceiving a reply to the application for my forms, for Murat alone.—-POUMIER DE LA birth certificate, made through the French SIBOUTIE, “Recollections of a Parisian," quot ambassador, to the effect that there had been, ing Leger. some years before, a great fire in Trenton, While Murat strutted about in sky-blue that the church and vestry had been burned down, and that not a vestige of the register over-alls, covered with gold spangles, invent- remained. After much delay and many con- ed new uniforms and bought expensive sultations, the officials declared that it was aigrettes for his busby, his wife showed her impossible the marriage could take place un- rococo taste by furnishing her drawing room less four witnesses to my birth could be pro- in red satin and gold and her bedroom in duced. Rather a strong order! Luckily my rose-colored satin and point lace. father's cousin, Prince Pierre Bonaparte, had Accordingly he made a triumphant visited America in 1833-4 and was at the entry in Warsaw in a fantastic uniform, red house at Bordentown on the day of my birth. leather boots, tunic of cloth of gold, sword. | My mother's sister was a second witness and belt glittering with diamonds and a huge we had to send to America to request Mr. busby of rich fur bedecked with costly Stevens and another friend to come to France plumes. . . . Unfortunately for Murat the for the purpose of identifying me, which they prospective alliance with Russia once and very kindly did.-"Memoirs of Princess Caro- for all compelled Napoleon to lay aside all | line Murat.” Napoleon I. 420 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES NAPOLEON I. NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, 1769-1821 rat." III." land.” French Soldier and Statesman. First Emperor of France SOURCES ABELL, ELIZABETH, “Recollections of Em GOURGAUD, BARON, "Napoleon at St. Helena." peror Napoleon.” GRUYER, PAUL, "Napoleon, King of Elba." ABRANTÈS, DUCHESS D’, "Memoirs." Harper's Magazine. ADAMS, JOHN QUINCY, "Letters." HAYDON, BENJAMIN ROBERT, “Diary." Athenaeum, Boston. HEADLEY, J. T., "Napoleon and his Mar- Atlantic Monthly. shals." ATTERIDGE, A. HILLIARD, “Joachim Mu- ! HILL, JAMES, Macmillan's Magazine. HODGETTS, E. A. B., “The House of Ho- BAPST, GERMAIN, Scribner's Magazine. | henzollern." BEUST, COUNT VON, "Memoirs." HOLLAND, LORD, “Foreign Reminiscences." BILLARD, MAX, "Marriage Ventures of JERROLD, BLANCHARD, “Life of Napoleon Marie Louise." BINGHAM, GENERAL G. B., "Diary,” Black JUNG, TH., “Lucien Bonaparte and his wood's Magazine, October, 1896. Memoirs." Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine. LAS CASES, COUNT DE, “Memoirs of Na- BLAZE, ELZEAR, “Recollections." poleon." BOIGNE, COUNTESS DE, "Memoirs." LEJEUNE, BARON, "Memoirs." BONAPARTE, LOUIS, "Historic Documents Literary Gazette. and Reflections on the Government of Hol LOCKHART, J. G., "History of Bonaparte.” LOLIÉE, FREDERIC, “The Life of an Ein- BOTTA, CARL, "History of Italy Under Na- | press,” “Women of the Second Empire." poleon.”. LOMBROSO, CESAR, Deutsche Revue. BOURRIENNE, FAUVELET DE, "Memoirs of LOUISE OF PRUSSIA, “Forty-five Years of Napoleon Bonaparte.” My Life.” BRISBANE, WILLIAM, “Travels." Low, E. B., “With Napoleon at Waterloo." BROUGHTON, LORD, “Recollections." MARIE LOUISE, "Letters." BUTLER, SIR WILLIAM, “Lecture.” MARMONT, MARSHAL, "Memoirs." CASTELLANE, MARQUIS DE, “Men and MEMES, John S., "Memoirs of Empress Things of my Time.” Josephine." Chambers's Journal. MÉNEVAL, CLAUDE FRANCIS, “Memoirs of CHAPTAL, JEAN ANTOINE, “My Souvenirs | Napoleon."" of Napoleon.” METTERNICH, PRINCE, "Memoirs." CHÂTEAUBRIAND, FRANÇOIS RENÉ, “Mem MICHAUD, M. and M. POUJOULAT, “Corre- pirs." spondence from the East." CHEVERNY, DUFORT DE, "Memoirs." * Mills, LIEL TENANT NELSON, “Diary, 1815." CHOISEUL-GOUFFIER, COUNTESS DE, "Mem. MOLLIEN, COUNT, “Memoirs.” pirs of Alexander I.” MORRIS, GOUVERNEUR, "Diary.” CONSTANT, LOUIS, “Recollections of Napo MURAT, PRINCESS CAROLINE, “Memoirs." leon.” NAPOLEON, Letters and Orders. Cornhill Magazine. NAPOLEON III., “Autobiography." COURTOT, BARONESS CECILE DE, "Mem NEVILL, LADY DOROTHY, "Leaves from My oirs." Note Books.” CROKER, John Wilson, "Correspondence NEVILLE, RALPH, “The Romantic Past.” and Diaries.” New Monthly Magazine. CROMIE, C. F., Fortnightly Review. NICOLAY, FERNAND, “Napoleon at the Bou- CUTHELL, EDITA E., “An Imperial Victim." | logne Camp." DUCREST, MADAME GEORGETTE, "Memoirs Nolde, BARONESS ELIZABETH, "Madame of the Empress Josephine.” de Staël and Benjamin Constant." Eclectic Magazine. Notes and Queries. Edinburgh Review OLDING, W. H., The Gentleman's Magazine. ELLIOT, MRS. MINTO, “Roman Gossip." O'MEARA, BARRY E., “Napoleon in Exile." FEZENSAC, GENERAL DE, “A Journal of the PASQUIER, CHANCELLOR, "Memoirs," copy- Russian Campaign of 1812." right, Charles Scribner's Sons. Fouché, JOSEPH, “Memoirs Concerning.” POTOCKA, COUNTESS, "Memoirs." FOURMENSTRAUX, E., “Queen Hortense.' Quarterly Review. Fraser's Magazine. RAIKES, THOMAS, "A Visit to St. Peters. Gentleman's Magazine. burg in the Winter of 1829-30." GLEIG, Rev. G. R., “Personal Reminis. RAPP, MARSHAL JEAN, “Memoirs." cences of the Duke of Wellington.” REDDING, CYRUS, "Fifty Years' Recollec- GONTAUT, DUCHESS DE, "Memoirs." | tions." 421 Napoleon 1. OF THE GREAT TALLEYRAND, Letters. Temple Bar. THIBADEAU, A. C., "Bonaparte and the Con- sulate.” THIÉBAULT, GENERAL PAUL, "Memoirs." THISELTON-DYER, T. F., “Royalty in All Ages.” THOMPSON, JAMES W., Atlantic Month- ly. RÉMUSAT, MADAME DE, "Memoirs." ROUSSEAU, JEAN JACQUES, "Le Contrat Social." RUSSELL, G. W. E., Longman's Maga- zine. SAINTE-ELME, IDA, "Memoirs of a Contem- porary." SCHMIDT, FERDINAND, “Life of Blücher.” Scott, John B., "Diary,” Temple Bar. Scribner's Magazine. SEGUR, COUNT PHILIP DE, “An Aide-de- Camp to Napoleon.” SHELLEY, LADY, “Diary.” SHEPARD, WILLIAM, Lippincott's Magazine. SIBOUTIE, POUMIER DE LA, “Recollections of a Parisian.” STAËL, MADAME DE, “Ten Years' Exile." STANHOPE, LORD, “Conversations with the Duke of Wellington." SUTCLIFFE, ALICE CRABY, "Fulton and the Clermont.” TIMBS, JOHN, “Century of Anecdote.” TURQUAN, JOSEPH, “The Wife of General Bonaparte." ena.” VANDAM, ALBERT D., New Review. VILLEMAREST, CATHERINE T. M. C., "Mem- oirs”; “Life of Talleyrand.” WARDEN, WILLIAM, “Letters from St. Hel- WERTHEIMER, EDWARD D., "The Duke of Reichstadt.” Williams, H. NOEL, “The Women Bona- partes." It is related that Napoleon, whose be- YOUTH havior had been all that could be desired dur- ing the preliminary prayers, began to mani- Early Years fest signs of restlessness when he saw the There is still one country in Europe sus. holy water being sprinkled over his sister's head and, when the priest approached to per- ceptible of molding by legislation—the is. land of Corsica. The courage and stead. form the same office for him, he struggled fastness which enabled this brave people to fiercely and actually struck the good man, as well as his godparents, Lorenzo Giubega and regain and defend its liberty well deserves his aunt Geltruda.-WILLIAMS. that a sage should teach it how that blessing should be preserved. I have a presentiment He was one day accused by one of his sis- that this little island will some day astonish ters of having eaten a basketful of grapes, Europe.—ROUSSEAU. (“Le Contrat Social" figs and citrons, which had come from the • was written in 1762.] garden of his uncle, the Canon. None but Holding her little half-brother, Joseph those acquainted with the Bonaparte family Fesch-then six years old-by the hand, and can form any idea of the enormity of this followed by her sister-in-law, Geltruda Para- | offense. To eat fruit belonging to his uncle, vicini, and her uncle Luciano, Letizia Bona the Canon, was infinitely more criminal than parte proceeded to the cathedral, the crowd to eat grapes and figs which might be claimed making way for her with deference, for the by anybody else. An inquiry took place. courage and devotion she had displayed dur- | Napoleon denied the fact and was whipped. ing the war of the independence had raised He was told that if he would beg pardon he her to the position of a public heroine. would be forgiven. He protested that he Scarcely, however, had the service begun, was innocent, but he was not believed. If I when she found herself seized with the pains recollect rightly, his mother was at the time of labor. Rising from her knees, she made on a visit to M. de Marbeuf, or some other her way out of the building and, supported friend. The result of Napoleon's obstinacy by her sister-in-law, regained her house, was that he was kept three whole days upon which was fortunately only a short distance bread and cheese, and that cheese was not from the cathedral; and here, on a couch in broccio. However, he would not cry; he the salon for there was not time to reach was dull, but not sulky. At length, on the her bedroom—with the assistance of Gel fourth day of his punishment, a little friend truda and the maid servant, Mammucia Cat of Marianna Bonaparte returned from the erina, she was delivered of her fourth child country and on hearing of Napoleon's dis- --a boy, with a big head and very intelligent grace she confessed that she and Marianna face, who screamed loudly and soon began had eaten the fruit. It was now Marianna's sucking his thumb, which was considered a turn to be punished. When Napoleon was good augury among the peasants of Corsica. asked why he had not accused his sister, he -WILLIAMS. said that he thought she was guilty, yet out Napoleon I. 422 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of consideration for her little friend, who While at Valance Bonaparte competed had no share in the falsehood, he had said anonymously for a prize offered by the nothing. He was then only seven years of Academy of Lyons for the best answer to age.-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. Raynal's question, "What are the principles One feels that Saveria was a great char- and institutions by the application of which acter. Every member of the family she had mankind can be raised to the highest happi- brought up, except Lucien, was seated on a ness ?” He gained the prize; what were the throne. She could tell innumerable anec contents of the essay we do not know. Tal- dotes of them all, especially of Napoleon, leyrand, long afterwards, obtained the manu- whom she considered very much like other script and, thinking to please his sovereign, boys, only singularly silent. He never cried; brought it to him. He threw his eye over when he was very much beaten (and in Cor three or four of the pages and then tossed sica this was the habit of education) he did it into the fire. The treatise of the lieu- shed a few tears, but never would utter a tenant probably abounded in opinions which single word of excuse. One day, Saveria the emperor had found it convenient to for- said, he was suspected of having eaten a get.-LOCKHART. whole basket of figs, which had come from It is noteworthy that Napoleon, so bit- the garden of his uncle, the Canonica (Car- ter an opponent to the freedom of the press, dinal Fesch). Now all that belonged to the was in youth himself ... the subject of Canonica was sacred, and this misdemeanor | censure. When fourteen, when writing to was considered of the blackest dye. Napo his family, he chanced to use terms disre- leon denied the theft and was accordingly spectful to the king. According to the prac- whipped. Still denying it, he was again tise of the school, the letter was submitted whipped, and kept three days on bread and to his superior, who, noticing the offensive cheese. Not a complaint passed his lips, nor passage, extemporized a suitable lecture and did he even sulk. As Madame Letizia hap- insisted on the document being burned. Long pened to be absent at the time, these punish- afterwards, in 1802, the professor was com- ments were inflicted by his father. On her manded to attend a levee, in order to re- return a little playmate of Napoleon's came ceive a pupil, when, good-humoredly, the to visit at the house and, touched with his First Consul reminded his old tutor how sufferings, owned that it was she who had times had changed since this episode of his eaten the fruit, and that Napoleon knew it. boyhood.--OLDING, The Gentleman's Mag- "Why then had he not said so?” “Because," azine, May, 1884. was his answer, “I would not get her into trouble. She had done wrong and I bore Nothing better characterized his dispo- . it.” He was then seven years old.-MRS. sition in boyhood than the fact that he ap- ELLIOT. peared as champion of Nero and denounced Tacitus as a calumniator for picturing the His superiority of character was very cruelties of the Roman emperor.-SCHMIDT. early felt. An aged relation, Lucien Bona- parte, archdeacon of Ajaccio, called the chil- Even at school he showed himself ret- dren about his deathbed to take farewell and icent and false. An uncle, a worthy Corsi- bless them. “You, Joseph," said the expiring can, prophesied for him a brilliant future man, "are the eldest, but Napoleon is the as he had proved himself such a master of head of the family. Take care to remember prevarication; Metternich accorded him the my words.” Napoleon took excellent care same distinction. His spirit of deviltry car- that they should not be forgotten. He began ried him so far that he poured oil on the with beating his elder brother into subjec- dress of a titled married woman, in order tion. --LOCKHART. to have an excuse to lead her into an ad- joining room.-LOMBROSO, Deutsche Revue, Days at School January, 1898. One of the teachers having condemned him for some offense or neglect to wear a coarse woolen dress on a particular day•and CHARACTERISTICS AND HABITS dine on his knees at the doors of the refec- Hard at Work tory, the boy's haughty spirit swelling under the dishonor brought on a sudden vomiting One of the things that contributed most and a strong fit of hysterics. The mathe- to render Napoleon hateful during his life matical master, passing by, said that they was his inclination for debasing everything; did not understand what they were dealing in a fired city he could couple decrees for the with and released him.-LOCKIIART. | re-establishment of a few comedians with II 423 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT flats which suppressed monarchs; a parody tle as possible of his public authority, so as of the omnipotence of God, who rules the to remain always and everywhere the man of lot of the world and of an ant. With the necessity. Napoleon carried on long and di- fall of empires he mingled insults to wo verse correspondences. If they were all col- men; he delighted in the humiliation of lected it would be incredible that any single what he had overthrown; he calumniated and man could have sufficed to do so much, and in wounded, particularly all that had dared to each of them he proved that he entered into resist him. His arrogance was equal to his every subject and every circumstance as if luck; the more he lowered others the greater he had nothing else to think of, adapting all he believed himself to appear. Jealous of his rules and principles to his own paramount in- own generals, he accused them of his own terest in forcing the most opposite elements mistakes, for, as for himself, he was infalli to combine in his system. But in these cor- ble. Despising all merits, he reproached them respondences none proves more thoroughly harshly with their errors.--CHÂTEAUBRIAND. the patience with which he investigated the His writing was a collection of letters most arid details than those which he carried unconnected with each other and unreadable. on with myself. ... I frequently in the early Half the letters to each word were wanting, period of my ministry received letters of he could not read his own writing again, or many pages, solely intended to analyze long would not take the trouble to do so. If he calculations, to investigate statements, to were asked for some explanation he would divide statistics and to present the same re- take his draft and tear it up, or throw it into sults under other forms. The principal ob- the fire, and dictate it over again the same ject of these discussions was to keep all his ideas, it is true, but couched in different chief servants in perpetual distrust of them- language and a different style.—MÉNEVAL. selves and of their subordinates; he had no longer to dispute the superiority of power, Bonaparte dictated with great ease. He but he disputed with every one the superiority never wrote anything with his own hand. of attainments.--MOLLIEN. His handwriting was bad, and as illegible by himself as by others; his spelling was very It was remarkable that, each time that defective. He utterly lacked patience to do unexpected circumstances forced the aides- anything with his own hands. The extreme de-camp to have the emperor waked, he was activity of his mind and the habitual prompt as ready for work as he would have been at obedience rendered to him prevented him from the beginning or the middle of the day, and practising an occupation in which the mind his awakening was as amiable as his manner must necessarily wait for the action of the was pleasant. The report of an aide-de-camp body. Those who wrote from 'his dictation- being finished, Napoleon went to sieep again first M. Bourrienne, then M. Maret, and Mé- as easily as if his sleep had not been inter- neval, his private secretary—had made a sort rupted. ... The emperor sometimes slept a of shorthand for themselves, in order that quarter or a half an hour on the field of their pens might travel as fast as his battle when he was fatigued or wished to thoughts. He dictated while walking to and await more patiently the result of the orders fro in his cabinet. When he grew angry he had given.-CONSTANT. he would use violent imprecations, which Among the private instructions which were suppressed in the writing, and which Bonaparte gave me one was very curious. had at least the advantage of permitting the “During the night,” said he, “enter my writer to come up with him. He never re chamber as seldom as possible. Do not awake peated anything he had once said, even if it | me when you have any good news to com- had not been heard; and this was very hard municate; with that there is no hurry. But on the poor secretary, for he remembered when you bring bad news, rouse me instant- accurately what he had said and detected ly; for then there is not a moment to be every omission.- MADAME RÉMUSAT. lost.” ... He paid little attention to any It would indeed have been difficult for but the German and English papers. "Pass any of the ministers of Napoleon not to over all that,” he would say when I was communicate their plans to him, which were perusing the French papers; "I know it al- always minutely discussed before they re ready. They say only what they think will ceived his final sanction; for, though he left | please me."--BOURRIENNE. them the choice of execution, he chose that At the time in question [1802] his ideas every improvement should seem to be his were not the same in the evening as they work. His sudden elevation rendered it a had been in the morning; and often in the matter of policy with him to delegate as lit. / morning he would tear up, even without the Napoleon I. 424 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES least remark, notes he had dictated to me at Make soldiers out of them. Any girls? Give night and which he had considered excellent. them to the brave soldiers.”—VON BEUst. At other times I took it upon myself not to When the emperor was in good humor he send to the Moniteur, as he had wished me to was very fond of rallying his favorite offi- do, notes which, dictated by annoyance and cers. With women, on the contrary, he never irascibility, might have produced a bad ef- joked, or, if he did, his joke was a thunder- fect in Europe. When the next day he did bolt. The strange mania that possessed him not see the article, I attributed this to the of telling wives of the infidelities of their hus- note being too late, or to the late arrival of bands sometimes gave rise to very painful the courier. But I told him it was no loss, feelings.-DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. for it would be inserted the next day. He did not answer at once, but after a quarter Full dress and masked balls were given. These were novelties to the emperor and he of an hour he said to me, “Do not send my liked them. Some of his ministers, his sister, note to the Moniteur without showing it to Murat and the Prince of Neufchâtel received me.” He took it and re-read it. Some- orders to invite a certain number of persons times he was astonished at what he had dic- tated to me, and amused himself by saying belonging to the court or to the city. The that I had not understood him men wore dominoes, the women elegant cos- properly. "That is not much good, is it?” “'Pon my tumes, and the pleasure of being disguised was almost the only one they enjoyed in these word, I don't quite know.” “Oh, no; it is assemblies, where it was known that the worthless; what say you ?" Then he bowed his head a little and tore up the paper.- emperor was present, and where the fear of BOURRIENNE. meeting him made the guests silent and cir- cumspect. He was closely masked, and yet When it happened that M. de Talleyrand easy to recognize by that peculiar air and suspended the execution of an order, Bona gait which he could not disguise, as he walked parte never evinced the least displeasure. through the rooms generally leaning on the When, the day after he had received any arm of Duroc. He accosted the ladies freely hasty or angry order, M. de Talleyrand pre | and was often very unscrupulous in his re- sented himself to the First Consul, the latter marks to them; and, if he were answered and would say, “Well, did you send off the cour unable at once to recognize who spoke to him, ier?" "No," the minister would reply, “I he would pull off the speaker's mask, reveal- took care not to do it before I showed you my ing himself by this rude act of power. He letter.” Then the First Consul would usual also took great pleasure, under cover of his ly add, “Upon second thoughts I think it disguise, in seeking out certain husbands and would be best not to send it." This was the tormenting them with anecdotes, true or false, way to deal with Bonaparte. When M. de of their wives. If he learned afterwards that Talleyrand postponed sending off despatches, these revelations had been followed by un- or when I myself have delayed the execution pleasant consequences, he became very angry; of an order which I knew had been dictated for he would not permit the displeasure by anger, and had emanated neither from his which he himself had excited to be indepen- heart nor his understanding, I have heard dent of him.-MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. him say a hundred times, “It was right, quite Then he began to question us about what right; you understand me; Talleyrand under we were all doing and let us know, but only stands me also. This is the way to serve me; by hints, that some of us were considerably the others do not leave me time for reflec talked of by the public. The empress, who tion; they are too precipitate.” Fouché was knew her husband's ways, and was aware also one of those who did not on all occa that when talking in this manner he was sions blindly obey Bonaparte's commands. apt to go very far, tried to interrupt him; His other ministers, on the other hand, when but the emperor, persisting in the conversa- told to send a courier off the next morning, tion, presently gave it an exceedingly em- would probably have sent him off the same barrassing turn. "Yes, ladies, you occupy evening. This was from zeal; but was not the attentions of the worthy inhabitants of the First Consul right in saying that such the Faubourg St. Germain. They say, for in- zeal was unfortunate?-BOURRIENNE. stance, that you, Madame — , have a liaison with — ; that you, Madame - And Treatment of Women so he went on, addressing himself to three When ladies were presented to him he or four ladies in succession. The effect upon addressed to them the stereotyped questions, all of us of such an attack may be easily "Have you any children? Are they boys? | imagined. The emperor was amused by the 425 Napoleon 1. OF THE GREAT confusion into which he threw us. “But,” | dudgeon take the road to the western Pyre- added he, "you need not suppose that I ap- nees. This scene with a haughty duchess prove of talk of this kind. To attack my furnished much amusement at headquarters. court is to attack myself, and I do not choose -FOUCHÉ. that a word shall be said, either of me, my General Montholon, during his visit to family, or my court.” While thus speaking, Wurzburg, and without the knowledge of his his countenance, which had previously been family, married a woman who had been twice smiling, darkened, and his voice became ex- divorced and whose two husbands were still tremely harsh. He then burst out violently living. The emperor had refused his consent against that section of Parisian society which to this marriage; but, during his stay in was still rebellious, declaring that he would Dresden, he had granted M. Montholon per- exile every woman who would say a word mission to marry the niece of President Se- against any lady-in-waiting; and he proceed- guier, because he had forgotten that the lady ed to work himself into a violent passion in question was the identical person whose upon this text, which he had entirely to marriage he had refused to authorize. Na- himself, for not a single one of us attempted poleon, however, was soon made acquainted to make him an answer.-MADAME DE RÉMU- with the true state of things and refused to SAT. allow the divorced woman to be presented at The women of the court had great need court at Wurzburg.—MÉNEVAL. to be on their guard and to take care of Madame de Chevreuse one day went to what they did; for, whenever the emperor the Tuileries splendidly dressed in a blaze was informed of anything—and he was al- of diamonds. The emperor, struck with her ways informed-he would invariably make dazzling appearance, said, “What a splendid the husband acquainted with the facts in the display of jewels! Are they all real?” case. It is true that he interdicted any com- “Mon Dieu, sire," replied the lady; "I really plaint or action in consequence. Thus, we don't know; but, at any rate, they are good all knew that he had made $- aware of enough to wear here.”—MADAME DUCREST. certain adventures of his wife's and so im- periously ordered him not to display any He came up to me, speaking lower in a anger that S , who was always entirely. confidential tone. “You have no children? submissive to him, consented to allow him- I know that it is not your fault, but you self to be deceived, and ended, partly should make better arrangements. Believe through his weak compliance, and partly me, I am giving you good advice." I re- through his desire to think his wife inno- mained stupefied; he looked at me for a moment with a gracious smile and went on to cent, by not believing facts which were of public notoriety.—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. my neighbor.-COUNTESS DE BOIGNE. Napoleon remained deaf to her repeated He enjoined him (Marshal Soult] to entreaties (Madame de Montmorency to be rally his forces and to defend inch by inch allowed to be a baroness only instead of a the passes of the Pyrenees. Soult would not countess] and, making allusion to certain have hesitated had not his wife, recently ar- escapades of her youth, said, “You are not a rived from Dresden with a splendid equipage, good enough Christian for me to listen fa- shown some repugnance, refusing to return vorably to your claim.”—PASQUIER. to Spain, "where," she said, "nothing was to be got but blows." As she possessed con- Certainly Napoleon knew what he was siderable influence over her husband, Soult, doing when he banished Madame de Staël. being much annoyed, had recourse to the em- “This woman,” said he, “teaches people to peror, who immediately sent for the duchess. think, who would not do it of themselves, She made her appearance with an air of or who have forgotten how." When she vast importance; and, assuming an imperious wrote him that in persecuting her he had tone, declared that her husband should not kept a page in his history for her, she did not return to Spain; that he had served too long deceive herself.—BARONESS NOLDE. and stood in need of repose. “Madame," Napoleon one day summoned Fouché, cried Napoleon, enraged, “I did not send for then minister of police, and told him that he you to hear this insolence. I am not your was astonished that a person of his noted husband, and, if I were, you would conduct dexterity did not do his business better; yourself differently. Recollect that woman's and that things were going on of which he province is to obey; return to your husband knew nothing. “Yes," said the minister, and let him be quiet.” She was obliged to “there are things that I was ignorant of, submit, to sell horses, carriages, etc., and in | but which I know now: for example, a little Napoleon I. 426 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES man, in a three-cornered hat, wearing a blue on the walls of the room. They were those Irock coat, leaves the palace every second of Madame, his mother, his sisters, Queen day; returns between eight and nine in the Hortense, etc.; and the sight of such a evening, by the small door of the pavilion gallery, in such a place, excited the extreme Marsan, above the kitchens, and, accom displeasure of the emperor. "What non- panied by a single person taller than him sense!” he cried. “Constant, summon Mar- self, but habited in the same manner, gets shal Duroc.” And when the grand marshal into a hackney coach, and goes straight to appeared, his majesty inquired, "Who is the Rue Chanteraine, No. 38, to the house of idiot that could have conceived such an idea ? La Grazzini; the little man is yourself, to Order the painter to come and efface all that. whom this singular opera singer is unfaithful He must have little respect for women to be in favor of Rode, the violin player, who guilty of such an indecency."-CONSTANT. lodges in Rue du Mont Blanc, Hotel de His childish eagerness led in one in. l'Empire.” As soon as Fouché had done, Na- stance to a gracious act of playful munifi- poleon, turning his back upon his minister, cence. He received notice of the arrival of began to walk up and down, with his hands a present from Constantinople, in society with behind him, whistling an Italian air; and the empress and other ladies. He ordered the Fouché retired without adding another word. parcel to be brought up and instantly tore -TIMBS. it open with his own hand. It contained a Adversity made her [Countess Walew large aigrette of diamonds which he broke ski) lapse from virtue almost sacred and her into various pieces and then threw the larg. love more dear. She wrote to Napoleon to est into her imperial majesty's lap and some ask to see him again and to offer to follow into that of every lady in the circle.—LORD him wherever he might be led by misfortune. HOLLAND, “Foreign Reminiscences.” He consented to the interview. The night but Whitbread tells a story that a letter one before his departure from Fontainebleau from Lady Bessborough at Marseilles men- the young woman was introduced by a secret tions that a friend of hers traveling to see staircase into the salon adjoining the bed- | her met a carriage and four carrying a gen- chamber of her lover. The confidential ser eral, escorted by four dragoons. The general vant announced to his master the presence stopped the lady and in the most polite of her whom he had consented to see again. manner begged her to change horses, his be- Napoleon was plunged into the kind of ing very tired. He made a thousand apol. dreamy stupor which had absorbed him since ogies, said he would not employ anything but his fall. He replied that he would soon in entreaties; he was quite shocked but perhaps person summon her who had braved shame it was more necessary that he should get on and adversity for his sake. She waited vain than that the lady should proceed with any ly and in tears the long half of the night. great speed. When the horses were changed He did not summon her. He was heard the lady asked one of the dragoons who walking up and down in his room. The that was. “Who? It is the emperor." It servant entered and reminded him of who | was Napoleon-he invades France with was waiting. “Let her wait,” said the em- eleven hundred men and traverses it in a peror. Finally, the entire night being spent carriage almost without an escort.-LORD and the day beginning to threaten to re- BROUGHTON. veal the secret of the assignation, the young She [Madame de Brissac] was extremely woman, repelled, lost in grief and wounded deaf and on the occasion of her presentation to the quick, was led back to her carriage to the emperor was most anxious to be in. by the confidant of her last adieux.-Quar- formed what questions he would ask her and terly Review, January, 1872, citing Lamar- what she ought to answer. She was told that tine. the emperor almost always inquired what de- . During his majesty's absence the château partment the persons came from, how old of Rambouillet was restored and furnished they were and how many children they had. anew and the emperor spent a few days there. Doubting her ear, which the agitation of the The first time he entered the bath room, he moment might render unusually treacherous, stopped short at the door and glanced around she determined to be prepared beforehand for with every appearance of surprise and dis each of these questions, in the order in which satisfaction, and when I sought the cause of they had been stated to her. The day of pres. this, following the direction of his majesty's entation arrived: Madame de Brissac made eyes, I saw that they rested on various fam- her three courtesies to the emperor, who, hav. ily portraits which the architect had painted | ing laid down no law to himself to ask pre- 427 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT oisely the same questions of all the extraor to you?” “No, sire; it was that of the god dinary faces which appeared before him, Mars.” “Well, why have you put me in the said rapidly to her, “Is your husband a place of the god of war?” “Sire, it was not brother of the Duke de Brissac who was I, but M. the director-general of the mu- killed on the second of September and did seum.” “The director-general was wrong," he not inherit his estate?" "Seine and Oise, interrupted the emperor impatiently. “I sire,” was the answer and, though an odd one wish this statue removed; do you hear, M. not so very wide of the mark, for M. de Bris Fontaine? I wish it taken away; it is most sac really had inherited property in that unsuitable. What? Shall I erect statues department. The emperor, however, struck to myself? Let the chariot and Victories be by its incoherence, looked at her with some finished; but let the chariot let the chariot surprise as he continued, "I believe you have remain empty." The order was executed and no children?” “Fifty-two, sire,” said she the statue of the emperor was taken and with the same amiable and benevolent smile placed in the orangery, and is perhaps still as before, never doubting but the emperor there. It was made of gilded lead, was a had inquired her age. Napoleon by this time fine piece of work and a most excellent like- was satisfied that Madame de Brissac was ness.--CONSTANT. hard of hearing, and, without further ob A first-rate artist was engaged to paint servation, continued his tour of the circle.- the walls and ceiling (Rambouillet castle] DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. with arabesques, foliage, birds and animals. When the task was completed and all was in Art, Literature and the Drama order the architect prepared to witness the It was during his brief sojourn in Milan delight and satisfaction of his imperial maj. that the young painter Groz made the first esty. Alas, a rude shock awaited him. Na- portrait which we possess of the general, who poleon inspected the work with a frown and is represented on the bridge at Lodi in the turned away, saying curtly, “Remove that rub- act of rushing forward, armed with a flag, | bish and paint it white; I hate fripperies." in order to lead his soldiers to victory. The The discomfited architect obeyed. In 1815 the artist could not indu je Bonaparte to sit for white paint was removed and the beautiful him. One day, however, Madame Bonaparte decorations underneath fortunately found to took her husband upon her knee after break be in perfect condition.-SIBOUTIE. fast and held him there for a few minutes. Canova told Wyatt that the statue of -TURQUAN, quoting "Memoirs of Lava- Napoleon as the Pacificator was intended for lette." the Hôtel de Ville in Paris. In the right The day after their arrival at St. Cloud hand is a figure of Victory and it was for the emperor and empress went to Paris in that reason it did not find a place there, as order to be present at the fêtes of the 15th it happened to be finished at the very moment of August, which it is useless to say were when Napoleon was defeated at Leipzig. Ca- magnificent. As soon as he entered the Tuil- nova declared that he would not have a eries, the emperor hastened through the statue erected which might be made a sub- château to examine the repairs and improve- ject for ridicule.—LADY SHELLEY. ments which had been made during his ab What particularly astonished Treilhard sence and, as was his habit, criticized ad was the prodigious memory of the emperor; versely more than he praised all he saw. it was a subject to which he was continually Looking out of the hall of the marshals he alluding. The articles of the civil code, demanded of M. de Fleurieu, governor of the after being drawn up and taken into consid- palace, why the top of the Arch of Triumph eration in private conference, were submitted on the Carrousel was covered with a cloth; to the discussion of the Council of State, at and his majesty was told that it was be which Napoleon frequently presided. Treil- cause all the arrangements had not yet been hard wondered at the readiness with which made for placing his statue in the chariot Bonaparte frequently illustrated the point in to which were attached the Corinthian horses question by quoting extempore whole pas- and also because the two Victories who were sages from the Roman civil law, a subject to guide the four horses were not yet com which from its nature seemed to be entirely pleted. “What!” vehemently exclaimed the foreign to him. One day the emperor re- emperor; "but I will not allow that! I did quested his attendance in order to acquaint not order it." Then, turning to M. Fon- | him with some new ideas on criminal legis. taine, he continued, “Monsieur Fontaine, was lation; after conversing together for some my statue in the design which was presented | time they formed themselves into a little Napoleon I. 428 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES committee and the counselor of state took the quoting the Gazette de France, in an article liberty of asking the emperor how he had | attributed to Charles X. acquired so familiar a knowledge of law af. Official critics even predict troubles fairs considering that his whole life had been which do not overtake the author of “Roi spent in camps. Bonaparte replied: "When d'Yvetot,” though he has reason to believe it I was a mere lieutenant I was put under ar- has been brought under the notice of the rest, unjustly it is true, but that is nothing emperor as a political satire. Béranger him- to the point. The little room which was as- self, however, does not add this pleasant signed for my prison contained no furniture story, which we quote from his friend La- but an old chair and an old bed and an old pointe's "Memoirs of Béranger," of the re- cupboard; in the cupboard was a ponderous ception given to this song by Napoleon: Cer- folio volume, older and more worm-eaten than tain courtiers, wishing to injure the poet, all the rest; it proved to be the ‘Digest.' who then held a modest appointment with As I had no paper, pens, ink or pencils you twelve hundred francs, denounced the song may easily imagine that this book was a and its writer to the emperor. “Who made valuable prize to me. It was so voluminous this song ?” asked the hero, who was not and the leaves were so covered with marginal much disturbed by it. “Sire, it is one em- notes in manuscript, that had I been con- ploved by the university.” “How much has fined a hundred years I could never have he?” “Twelve hundred francs, sire.” “Ah, been idle. I was only ten days deprived well, let them give him fifteen."-Blackwood's of my liberty; but on recovering it I was Magazine, January, 1858. saturated with Justinian and the decisions of the Roman legislators. Thus I picked up When emperor, every time he perceived my knowledge of civil law, with which I so St. Pierre, he used to say to him, "M. Berna- often trouble you.”—The Literary Gazette, din, when are we to have some more Paul August, 1819. and Virginias, or Indian Cottages? You ought to supply us every six months." In The emperor occasionally read in the reading Vertot's "Roman Revolutions," of morning the new works and romances of the which in other respects the emperor thinks day; and when a work displeased him he highly, he found the declamations too dif- threw it into the fire. This does not mean fuse. This was his constant complaint that only improper books were thus destroyed, against every work he took up; he had, in his for if the author was not among his favorites, youth, been much to blame himself in this or if he spoke too well of a foreign country, respect. He may justly be said to have that was sufficient to condemn the volume to thoroughly reformed afterwards. He amused the flames. On this account I saw his maj. himself in striking out the superfluous esty throw into the fire a volume of the phrases in Vertot; and the result was that works of Madame de Staël on Germany. If after the erasures the work appeared much he found us in the evening enjoying a book more energetic and animated. "It would cer- in the little salon, where he awaited the tainly be a most valuable and successful hour of retiring, he examined what we were labor," said he, "if any man of taste and reading; and if he found they were romances discernment would devote his time to re- they were burned without pity, his majesty ducing the principal works in our language rarely failing to add a little lecture to his in this manner. ... Our history," said the confiscation and to ask the delinquent "if a emperor, "should either be in four volumes man could not find better reading than that.” or a hundred.”—LAS CASES. One morning he had glanced over and thrown into the fire a book (by what author I do You live too much with literary and not know); and when Roustan stooped to scientific men. They are like coquettes, with take it out the emperor stopped him, saying, whom one should keep up an intercourse of "Let that filthy thing burn; it is all that it gallantry, but of whom one should never deserves.”_CONSTANT. dream of making a wife or a minister.- Napoleon's letter to his brother Joseph. As to the tyranny of Bonaparte, it con- sisted, in the first place, of giving her People are infatuated about England, [Madame de Genlis] a magnificent suite of without knowing anything about her. It is apartments in the Arsenal; and, in the sec the same with her literature. Shakespeare ond place, granting her a pension of six thou was forgotten even by the English for two sand francs a year, upon the sole condition of hundred years, until Voltaire at Geneva, her keeping him au courant of the literature and much mixed up with English people, took of the day.--Harper's Magazine, June, 1851, 1 it into his head to write him up, to please 429 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT his English friends; ever since people have any desired volume. The distribution of gone about repeating that Shakespeare was the subjects was to be as follows: forty the greatest author that ever lived. I have volumes on religion; forty of epic poetry; read him and there is nothing in him that forty of the drama; sixty volumes of other approaches Corneille or Racine. His plays poetry and one hundred novels. "In order are not worth reading. They are below to complete the quota," ran the instructions, contempt. As for Milton, there are only two “the balance shall be made up of historical or three passages that are really fine, such memoirs." Among the religious works were as the Invocation to the Sun. The rest is the Old and New Testament and the Koran, mere rhapsody.--THIBADEAU, quoting Na works on church history, including some on poleon. the Lutheran and Calvinist movements. The Napoleon, who could not have been epics included Homer, Lucan, Tasso, the Henriade, etc.; the drama, selected tragedies wanting in the feeling of power, said to me: of Corneille, Racine and Voltaire. Comedy "You see me master of France; I would not Napoleon could not endure; "not a word of undertake to govern her for three months Molière,” he said. ... But experience showed with the liberty of the press.”—METTERNICH. that the library was too large to be portable The First Consul was at all times the and that it was also badly organized, so that declared enemy of the liberty of the press ere long there was a wholesale elimination of and therefore he ruled journals with a books which lumbered it up. Madame de hand of iron. I have often heard him say: Sévigné's familiar eleven volumes were re- “Were I to slacken the reins, I should not | duced to a selection; La Rochefoucauld went continue three months in power.” He un completely; a four-decker Æneid, a three- fortunately held the same opinion regarding decker Milton, a two-decker Iliad and a two- every other prerogative of public freedom. decker edition of Camoens were exchanged The silence he had imposed in France he for single volume copies; the Æneid and wished, if he could, to impose in England. - Milton were to be in prose translations. Of BOURRIENNE. new books demanded the most notable are He had established an office with twelve French editions of Tacitus and Gibbon. ... clerks and Mounier at their head, whose Not the least of Barbier's duty was looking sole duty it was to extract, translate, abridge up answers to questions of a historical or and arrange under heads the contents of our literary nature with which his master bom- English newspapers. He charged Mounier barded him. Now it was to translate certain to omit no abuse of him, however coarse or paragraphs or pages, to see that a whole virulent; no charge, however injurious or book was translated in the shortest space of malignant. As, however, he did not specify time; again, it was to look up the origin the empress, Mounier, who reluctantly com- and history of Gallican liberties; the ques- plied with his orders, ventured to suppress tion whether there were examples of emper. or at least to soften any phrases about her; ors who had suspended or deposed popes; the but Napoleon questioned others about the history of Charles VII.'s Pragmatic Sanction, contents of English papers; detected Mounier etc. . . . He always "read up" for a coming and his committee in the mutilation of ar- campaign the history, geography and in- stitutions of the country and people with ticles and forbade them to withhold any in- telligence or censure they met with in the whom he was going to come in contact. publications which they were appointed to THOMPSON, The Atlantic Monthly, July, 1906. examine.—LORD HOLLAND. Pauline, in one of her expeditions to In 1808 Napoleon formed the idea of hav. Leghorn, had gone to the bookseller's whose ing a traveling library. ... The proposed business it was to bind the emperor's library. library was to form about a thousand vol- As she did not approve of the bindings, she umes. The books were to be of small duodec- took upon herself to alter them. When the imo size, printed in good type and without books arrived at Porte Ferraio the emperor margins in order to save space. They were was so infuriated that he summoned the body to be bound in morocco with flexible covers guard and bade them slash up the morocco and limp backs. The boxes for their con- with their bayonets.—GRUYER. veyance were to be covered with leather On the ground floor [at Elba] is what and lined with green velvet and were to remains of the imperial library. The titles average sixty volumes apiece, in two rows. of the books make an interesting study, A catalogue was to accompany them, so ar: showing the almost universal range of the ranged that the emperor could readily find | emperor's tastes. Side by side with the 431 Napoleon 1 OF THE GREAT You must have your establishment suitable play me such a trick as this! But for me to your rank. There is the Hotel de Noailles Paris would never have revolted on the 18th -why don't you take it and furnish it in Brumaire. But for me you would have lost proper style ?" Lannes, whose own candor the battle of Marengo. I alone, yes, I alone prevented him from suspecting the artful de passed the Po at Montebello, with my whole signs of others, followed the advice of the division. You gave the credit of that to First Consul. The Hôtel de Noailles was Berthier, who was not there; and this is my taken and superbly fitted up. Odiot sup reward-humiliation. This cannot-this plied a service of plate valued at two hun shall not be. I will " Bonaparte, pale dred thousand francs. General Lannes, have with anger, listened without stirring, and ing thus conformed to the wishes of Bona- | Lannes was on the point of challenging him parte, came to him and requested four hun. | when Junot, who heard the uproar, hastily dred thousand francs, the amount of the entered. The unexpected presence of this expense incurred as it were by his order. general somewhat reassured the First Con- "But,” said the First Consul, “I have no sul and at the same time calmed to some money.” “You have no money–what the degree the fury of Lannes. “Well,” said devil am I to do then?” “But there is some Bonaparte, "go to Lisbon. You will get in the Guards' chest; take what you require money there; and when you return you will and we will settle it afterwards.” Mis not want any one to pay your debts for you." trusting nothing, Lannes went to the trea Thus Bonaparte's object was gained. Lannes surer of the Guards, who made some objection set out for Lisbon and never afterwards at first to the advance required, but who soon annoyed the First Consul by his familiarities, yielded on learning that the demand was for on his return he ceased to address him made with the consent of the First Consul. as “thee" and “thou."-BOURRIENNE. Within twenty-four hours after Lannes had obtained the four hundred thousand francs, One day the First Consul had ordered some Arab horses, which had been given to the treasurer received from the head com- missary an order to balance his accounts. him, to be brought into the court yard of The receipt for the four hundred thousand the castle at La Malmaison. Lannes pro- francs advanced to Lannes was not ac- posed to the First Consul to play him a knowledged as a voucher. In vain the trea- match at billiards for one of these horses. surer alleged the authority of the First Con- Napoleon consented. He wanted to lose, and sul for the transaction. Napoleon's memory had to lose, and his adversary won the match had suddenly failed him; he had entirely for. with great ease. "I have beaten thee,” he gotten all about it. In a word, it was in said to the First Consul, whom he was in cumbent on Lannes to refund the four hun. the habit of addressing in the first person dred thousand francs to the Guards' chest; singular, "and so I have the right to choose.” and, as I have already said, he had no And without waiting for the permission he property on earth, but debts in abundance. did not ask, he runs up and examines the He repaired to General Lefebvre, who loved horses one after the other and, choosing him as his son, and to him he related all the handsomest, had it saddled and, jumping that had passed. “Simpleton," said Lefebvre, into the saddle, says, “Good-bye, Bonaparte. "why did you not come to me? Why did I shan't dine here. I'm off, because if I you get into debt with that ? Well, stayed, thou wouldst be capable of taking the here are the four hundred thousand francs; horse back again.” The First Consul had take them to him and let him go to the no time to answer. Lannes was already out devil.” Lannes hastened to the First Con- of sight. To prevent a repetition of such sul. “What!” he exclaimed, “is it possible scenes, Napoleon thought it right to remove Lannes for some time, but, to show him that that you can be guilty of such baseness as this? To treat me in such a manner? To lay his friendship for him was still the same, he such a foul snare for me after all I have done appointed him to an honorable post, namely, that of French ambassador to Lisbon.- for you-after all the blood I have shed to promote your ambition. Is this the recom- MÉNEVAL. pense you had in store for me? You forget How was it that Constant did not ac- the 13th Vendemiaire, to the success of which company so kind a master to Elba? He was I contributed more than you. You forget blamed for this, but his version is this: Millesimo; I was colonel before you. For He had agreed to go and Napoleon gave him whom did I fight at Bassano? You were one hundred thousand francs, bidding him witness of what I did at Lodi and at Gover bury the money in his small farm at Fon. nolo, where I was wounded. And yet you l tainebleau, that it might serve for his fam- 433 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT to Vienna that Napoleon received the packet "Had your imperial master himself been containing the first notice of the catastrophe. here," he said, “I should not have forgotten Berthier told me since that, reading the that in my person the dignity of France is fatal despatch, seated at the same table with represented."--LOCKHART. Napoleon and not daring to show it to him, Being resolved on ruling everything him- he gradually pushed it before his eyes with self, and for his own advantage, he always his elbows. Napoleon had scarcely read it put himself forward as the ultimate aim. It when, rising in anger, he exclaimed, “I can- is said that on starting for the first cam- not be everywhere." His agitation was ex- paign in Italy, he told a friend, who was the treme and Berthier despaired of quieting editor of a newspaper, "Recollect in your him.-FOUCHÉ. accounts of our victories to speak of me, al- A very few days after his coronation ways of je. Do you understand ?” This Bonaparte pronounced some words which dis “me” was the ceaseless cry of purely ego- closed all his purpose: “People laugh at my | tistical ambition. "Quote me," "Sing, praise new dynasty; in five years it will be the | and paint me,” he would say to orators, to oldest in all Europe.”—MADAME DE STAËL. | musicians, to poets and to painters. “I will As the Second and Third Consuls were | buy you at your own price, but you must all to accompany him during the ceremony (the be purchased.” Thus, notwithstanding his proclamation of the concordat at Notre desire to make his reign famous by gather- Dame] the clergy had asked him whether the ing together every kind of prodigy, he neu- censer was to be waved in their case as well tralized his efforts and ours by denying to as in his own. He answered, "No." This talent that noble independence which alone honor was therefore rendered to him alone. | can develop invention or genius of any kind. It was known, moreover, in his intimate cir. -MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. cle that, besides saying "No," he added the Sardou was dining with the Countess de following derisive words, “The smoke of in Pourtales. Madame de Metternich was tak- cense is yet too strong for them.”—PASQUIER. |ing the chief part in the conversation, while He sometimes said: “It is my intention the most brilliant of talkers rested and to reach such a point that the kings of that the kings of listened to her. She had brought the sub- Europe shall be forced, each of them, to have ject round to her father-in-law, the great a palace in Paris; and, at the time of the Metternich, and told this little story: Met- coronation of an emperor of the French, they ternich was once asked under what circum- shall take up their residence in it, be present stances Napoleon I.—whom he had often met at the ceremony, and render it more impos- and conferred with—had given him the most ing by their homage.”—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. striking impression of prestige and complete sovereignty. He was expected to reply: at Once at Rio Marina an Elban sergeant- Dresden, or at Erfurt, when he sent to Paris major, a powerful fellow, seeing the emperor for his "Comédie” to entertain a suite of (now grown stout) hesitate before mounting kings and princes. It was not there. It his horse, lifted him into the air and threw was, he said, one morning at Compiègne, him into the saddle. The emperor resisted when they returned from a drive in the forest, and struggled somewhat ludicrously, but he where they had spent more time than they had to submit to brute force. Some days intended. They returned to the castle about later the hero of this exploit received a sec. noon. The emperor, leaning his back against ond lieutenant's epaulettes, so that it might the chimney, according to his habit, chatted not be said that the emperor had received with his guests whilst awaiting the summons such familiar treatment from a common to lunch. There were a number of personages soldier.-GRUYER, citing Pons de l'Hérault. and members of the imperial family present. Cobentzel had set down as the first ar Presently he began to feel the pangs of ticle, “The emperor recognizes the French re hunger. Breaking off the conversation, he public.” “Elace that,” said Napoleon, “as turned to Murat: "King of Naples, go and it is as clear as that the sun is in the see why we do not lunch.” The brilliant heavens. Woe to them that cannot dis Murat left the room to inquire. Then he tinguish the light of either.” At the Te returned: "Sire, the meal will be ready in Deum, after the proclamation of the peace, a few minutes. There has been a slight mis- the imperial envoy would have taken the hap.” Napoleon resumed his argument. But place prepared for Bonaparte, which was the the delay was still prolonged. He grew im- most eminent in the church. The haughty patient. Turning to the other side, he said, soldier seized his arm and drew him back. I "King of Holland, try to find out whether we Napoleon I. 434 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES are to lunch to-day.” Prince Metternich, ac. | Europe, to escutcheons being surmounted customed to the strict and stately Austrian with crowns of various kinds according to the etiquette, was greatly struck to see an em. denomination of the title. He seemed to see peror sending kings to the pantry to hasten in the possession and use of this distinguish- the service of a meal.--LOLIÉE. ing mark a usurpation of his rights. His One day, at breakfast, when, as was sensitiveness on this point could never be often the case, Talma had been admitted to conquered and we were compelled, in order to find a substitute for the crown, to hit upon see him, the young Napoleon was brought to him. The emperor took the child upon his the idea of panaches, the number of plumes knee and, far from caressing, amused himself of which varied from one to seven, accord- ing to the elevation of the title.-Pas- by slapping him, though not so as to hurt QUIER. him; then, turning to Talma, he said, “Tal- ma, tell me what I am doing.” Talma, as He would take my arm and we would may be supposed, did not know what to say, go to buy articles of trifling value in the “You do not see it,” continued the emperor; shops of the Rue St. Honoré; but we did not "I am slapping a king.”—MADAME DE RÉMU extend our excursions farther than the Rue SAT. de l’Abre Sec. Whilst I made the shopkeep- His falsifications in regard to his wife ers exhibit before us the articles which I ap- and family were for the mere purposes of peared anxious to buy, he played his part in vanity, in order that their new names might asking questions. Nothing was more amus. consort better with their imperial titles than ing than to see him endeavoring to imitate those they had received at the baptismal the careless and jocular tone of the young font; but he falsified the date of his own men of fashion. How awkward was he in the birth because Corsica was not united to attempt to put on dandy airs when, pulling France as early as February, 1768, so that up the corners of his cravat, he would say, he was not born even under French dominion. “Well, Madame, is there anything new to- The union took place in the beginning of 1769 day? Citizen, what say they of Bonaparte ? and therefore Bonaparte shifted his birth into Your shop appears to be well supplied. You that year and he chose the 15th of August surely have a great deal of custom. What for his fête, because it was a day vacant of do people say of that buffoon, Bonaparte ?" a saint's name, and which therefore admitted He was made quite happy one day when we the interpolation of St. Napoleon, and be- were required to retire hastily from a shop cause it was the day on which Louis XIII. to avoid the attacks drawn upon us by the had dedicated France to the Virgin and was irreverent tone in which Bonaparte spoke of therefore already a national festival. --Quar- the First Consul.-BOURRIENNE. terly Review, October, 1822. The First Consul set out on foot one The emperor went to meet the Holy | morning, dressed in his gray riding coat, Father and met him on the road to Nemours and accompanied by General Duroc, on the in the forest of Fontainebleau. The em- road to Marly. Chatting as they walked, peror dismounted from his horse and the two they saw a plowman, who turned a furrow sovereigns returned to Fontainebleau in the as he came towards them. “See here, my same carriage. It was said that neither took good man,” said the First Consul, stopping precedence over the other and that, in order him, “your furrow is not straight. You do to avoid this, they both entered the carriage not know your business.” “It is not you, my at the same instant, his majesty by the door fine gentleman, who can teach me. You can- on the right and his Iloliness by that on the not do it as well. No, indeed—you think 80; left.-CONSTANT. just try it,” replied the good man, yielding his place to the First Consul, who took the Alexander claimed that he was on his plow-handle and, making the team start, own shore, Napoleon that he was on his own began to give his lesson. But he did not boat. To put an end to ceremonious con- plow a single yard of straight line. The troversy, Alexander said, “Very well, we will whole furrow was crooked. “Come, come,” enter together.” As the door was very nar- said the countryman, putting his hand on row the two sovereigns were obliged to that of the general to resume his plow, squeeze themselves together to enter at the "your work is no good. Each one to his same time.-COUNTESS DE CHOISEUL-GOUF. trade. Saunter along; that is your business." FIER. But the First Consul did not proceed with- He would never consent, in accordance out paying for the lesson he had received. with the practise in vogue throughout | General Duroc handed the laborer two or 435 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT three louis to compensate him for the loss of The emperor (at Elba) usually played time they had caused him.- CONSTANT. with Marshal Bertrand or Madame Mère and exchanged frequent pinches of snuff with An Impatient Gamester his mother. His intimates were occasionally Cards afforded us a source of recreation allowed to take part in the game, but the and even this frivolous amusement served to stakes were never high, at most one or two develop the character of Bonaparte. In gen napoleons. The emperor made a point of eral he was not fond of cards; but if he did never losing. His superstition amounted to play, vingt-et-un was his favorite game, be fatalism. The loss of a game amounted to cause it is more rapid than many others, the loss of a battle and was a bad omen. So and because, in short, it afforded him an op- he cheated. No one dared complain. Madame portunity for cheating. For example, he Mère alone, who was not above pocketing her would ask for a card; if it proved a bad one, winnings, and saw them eluding her, fidgeted he would say nothing, but lay it down on the in her chair and pursed up her lips. The table and wait until the dealer had drawn emperor, amused, would cheat more and more his. If the dealer produced a good card, openly, till in defiance of etiquette she would then Bonaparte would throw aside his hand, exclaim, with the quaint accent she was without showing it, and give up his stake. never able to get rid of, “Napoleone, I protest If, on the contrary, the dealer's card made that you are cheating.” Then the emperor him exceed twenty-one, Bonaparte also threw would sweep his hand over the table, shuffle his cards aside without showing them, and the cards, pick up the coins and retire to asked for the payment of his stake. He was his room. Next day he gave the money back much diverted by these little tricks, especial to those from whom he had stolen it. Mad. ly when they were played off undetected; and ame Mère alone was never paid, said the I confess that even then we were courtiers gossips, the emperor's sole answer to her enough to humor him and wink at his cheat protests being, “But you are richer than I, ing. I must, however, mention that he never mother."--GRUYER. appropriated to himself the fruit of these His Softer Side little dishonesties, for at the end of the game he gave up all his winnings and they were He would give a dinner, or attend a fete equally divided. Gain, as may be readily which had been prepared for him, and this supposed, was not his object; but he always was always the most wearisome part of the expected that fortune would grant him an business to him. “I am not made for plea- ace or a ten at the right moment, with the sure,” he would say in a melancholy tone.-- same confidence with which he looked for MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. fine weather on the day of a battle. If he Napoleon, on his return to Paris, con- was disappointed, he wished nobody to know tinued to employ the same tradespeople, how- it.—BOURRIENNE. ever inferior in their several crafts, who had served him in the days of his obscurity. A Bonaparte, who then abhorred what he silversmith, who had given him credit, when called dull faces, proposed a game of vingt- he set out to Italy, for a dressing case worth et-un. It was usually the most laughable thing in the world to see him play at any fifty pounds, was rewarded with all the busi- ness which the recommendation of his now game whatever; he, whose quick perception and prompt judgment immediately seized on illustrious debtor could bring him; and, be- ing clever in his trade, became ultimately, and mastered everything which came his way, under the patronage of the imperial house- was, curiously enough, never able to under- stand the maneuvers of any game, however hold, one of the wealthiest citizens of Paris. simple. Thus, his only resource was to cheat. A little hatter, and a cobbler, who had served -DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. Bonaparte when a subaltern, might have risen in the same manner, had their skill Napoleon was very fond of this game equaled the silversmith's. Not even Napo- (vingt-et-un); he used to try to deceive those leon's example could persuade the Parisians he was playing with and was much amused at / | to wear ill-shaped hats and clumsy boots; the tricks he played.-Rapp. but he, in his own person, adhered to the Napoleon did not like defeat, even at last to his original connections with these chess, for, if he perceived his antagonist poor artisans.-LOCKHART. gaining on him, he would with one hasty I have been to the cathedral again and movement sweep board and pieces off the the people there reminded me that the em- table on to the ground.—THISELTON-DYER. peror Napoleon visited it in 1805. The grave Napoleon I. 436 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES is in the middle of the church. It has no of the village of Reuil with the greatest plea- other inscription than the name Charlemagne. sure, breaking off from any conversation in The persons in front of the emperor walked which he might be engaged to do so. “Ah," over this flat tombstone. The emperor cried he would say, “that sound recalls to me my to them in a loud voice, “Go around!” and he early days at Brienne; how happy I was in himself did so in order not to walk on that those days.”—LADY NEVILL. great man's grave. This mark of respect The emperor and empress went one day made a great impression upon all those pres- to breakfast in the environs of Milan, on a ent.---Letter of Talleyrand, quoted by Castel- little island called Olona. While walking lane. over it the emperor met a poor woman, whose Pausing before the tomb of Rousseau on cottage was near the place where their majes. the Ile des Peupliers, the First Consul said, ties' table had been set, and he addressed to “It had been better for the repose of France her a number of questions. "Monsieur," re- if this man had never been.” “But,” said plied she (not knowing the emperor), "I one of his suite, “he prepared the revolution, 1 am very poor and the mother of three chil. of which, Citizen Consul, you of all men dren, whom I have great difficulty in sup- have the least reason to complain.” “Eh, porting, because my husband, who is a day bien," answered Napoleon, “the future will laborer, has not always work." "How much show if it would not have been far better would it take,” replied his majesty, "to make for the repose of the world if neither Rous- you perfectly happy?” “Oh, it would take a seau nor I had ever existed," and, plunged in great deal of money.” “But how much, my reverie, the Man of Destiny strode on his good woman, how much would be necessary?” way.-NEVILLE. "Unless we had twenty louis we would not be Josephine was just telling me how much above want; but what chance is there of our she regretted having to leave Malmaison, ever having twenty louis?” The emperor when she suddenly stopped and held up a gave her on the spot the sum of three thou- silencing hand. I looked at her in surprise. sand francs in gold, and ordered me to untie Profound silence reigned around us, only the rolls and pour them all into the good broken by the solemn strokes of the church woman's lap. At the sight of so much gold bell in Reuil ringing for afternoon service. the latter grew pale, reeled and I saw she “Do you hear those bells ?" she whispered was fainting. "Ah, that is too much, Mon- softly, and the whole expression of her face sieur, that is indeed too much. Surely, you seemed to change, to became almost devo cannot be making sport of a poor woman." tional. I could not understand why the tones The emperor assured her that it was indeed of these simple village beils should make an all hers, and that with this money she could impression on her, especially as she had no buy a little field, a flock of goats, and raise great reputation for piety. “Do you hear her children well. His majesty did not make them ?" she repeated; "those are Bonaparte's himself known; for he liked, in dispensing bells.” “The Consul's bells?” I asked in sur his benefits, to preserve his incognito, and I prise, thinking perhaps he had presented them knew in his life a large number of instances to the church. “Yes—you know he is so similar to the foregoing.–CONSTANT. fond of the sound of bells, and I have stood While breakfasting on an island near here many times with him listening to them," Mayence, Napoleon observed a poor woman she explained fondly. “They affect him so strangely,” she went on, "that I can hardly looking wistfully upon a spectacle which must have appeared to her so new and splendid. understand it—sometimes even to tears- Calling one of the attendants who spoke Ger- and he does not like me to break the spell by man, he desired the woman to be brought speaking. He is quite vexed that I cannot near and asked, “If she had ever dreamed feel about it the same as he. I fancy the bells she was rich ?” After considerable difficulty remind him of his youthful days at Brienne, in comprehending the question, she replied, where he was so happy. Altogether his spirit- “I have often thought that the person who pos. ual side is a most peculiar one; he believes sessed five hundred florins would be the rich- firmly in a supernatural world all around us, est in the world.” “Her dream is a little too exercising its influence upon every human dear," said the emperor, “but it matters not; life."-BARONESS DE COURTOT. we must realize it”; so, collecting all the The sound of church bells was always es- | money among the courtiers, the sum was pecially pleasing to Napoleon and produced counted out to the poor woman, who almost a most extraordinary effect upon him. At lost her wits at the sight of so much gold. Malmaison he would listen to the church bells | "I looked at the emperor,” says our author 437 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT ity, "deeming that he must be happy in the late.” The colleagues did not wait to be told power of bestowing happiness, but no-his twice. Sieyès hastily undertook the opera- countenance expressed only displeasure." "I tion, like the lion in the fable. He made seve have twice," said he, "asked the same ques. | eral lots; he took one as the eldest director; tion; but the dreams upon these occasions another, because he was to have continued were more moderate—this honest woman is in office longer than his colleague; a third, ambitious.”—MEMES. because he had suggested the idea of this The sheik related to me that Bonaparte, happy chance, etc. In short, he had ad- on his march from Gaza to Joppa, ordered judged six hundred thousand francs to him- the sheik of the village to furnish a hundred self and only two hundred thousand to poor head of cattle, a hundred loads of corn and Ducos, who, when his first emotions had sub- a hundred measures of meal. The sheik, sided, insisted on revising this calculation compelled to obey, humbly delivered what the and seemed bent on quarreling with Siéyès. French general demanded. Already the knife Both of them reverted to the subject every was lifted over the heads of several of the moment, wishing their third colleague to ar- oxen, when the Arab, bursting into tears, at bitrate between them, but the latter always the sight of his oxen so near being put to replied, “Settle it between yourselves. Above death, said to Bonaparte, "Sultan, look what all, be quiet, for if the matter should ever your soldiers are doing.” Touched by his come to my ears you would have to give up tears and by these few words, Bonaparte the whole.”—LAS CASES. gave back to the sheik his cattle, his corn and As to the nobility of the Bonaparte fam- his meal; he contented himself with receiving ily, whatever libelers may pretend, it is very hospitality from him. The sheik was the ancient and well identified with the annals father of the one who related to me this of Italy. It is said that when the marriage anecdote.-MICHAUD and POUJOULAT. of Napoleon with the Archduchess Marie Sieyès was a man of very selfish dispo- Louise was about to take place, the French sition. On the first meeting of the three emperor, in answer to some remonstrances on Consuls in council, and as soon as they were the subject, observed, “I should not enter alone, Sieyès went in a mysterious manner into this alliance, if I did not know that her to the doors of the apartment to see whether origin is as noble as mine." A collection of any person was within hearing; then, return- documents, extracted from the archives of ing to Napoleon, he said to him with com- different towns in Italy, was then presented placency, and in an undertone, showing him to the emperor Napoleon, from which it ap- at the same time a sort of cabinet, “Do you peared that the Bonapartes, at a very remote see that pretty piece of furniture? You do period, were lords of Treviso. Napoleon not, perhaps, suspect how valuable it is." threw it into the fire, energetically observing, Napoleon thought he was directing his atten- “I wish my nobility to commence only with tion to some appendage of the crown which myself and to hold all my titles from the had, perhaps, been used by Louis XVI. “That French people.”—Louis BONAPARTE. is not the matter,” said Sieyès, seeing his November 8, 1817.-The Emperor Franc mistake; "I am going to let you into a secret; cis, whose head is crammed with ideas of high it contains eight hundred thousand francs," birth, was very anxious to prove that I was and his eyes opened wide. “In our directorial descended from some of the old tyrants of magistracy, we reflected that a director go Treviso; and after my marriage to Marie ing out of office might very possibly go back Louise employed divers persons to search in to his family without a denier, a very unbe- | the old musty records of genealogy, in which coming thing; we therefore invented this lit. they thought they could find something to tle chest from which we drew a sum for every prove what they desired. He imagined that director going out of office. There are now he had succeeded at last, and wrote to me, no more directors; we are therefore the pos. asking my consent that he should publish the sessors of the remainder. What shall we do account with all official formalities. I re- with it?” Napoleon, who had paid great at fused. He was so intent upon this favorite tention and began at length to understand, subject, that he again applied and said, “Let said, “If it comes to my knowledge the sum me do it,” that I need not appear to take any shall go into the public treasury; but if I part in it. I replied that it was impossible, should not hear of it (and I know nothing of for if published I should be obliged to take it yet) you and Ducos, being two old direc notice of it; that I preferred being the son tors, can divide it between you; only make of an honest man to being descended from haste, for to-morrow it may perhaps be too any dirty little tyrant in Italy; that I was Napoleon I. 438 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the Rodelphe of my family.-0’MEARA, quot | fingers came in contact with the wet and ing Napoleon. sticky mass. The emperor, delighted with When I was about to marry Marie Lou- his practical joke, was convulsed with laugh- ise, her father, the emperor, sent me a box ter, while the Grand Maréchal, the eternal butt of his jesting, emptied his pockets, of papers intended to prove that I was de- grumbling the while and wiping the salt- scended from the dukes of Florence. I burst water stains from his uniform.-GRUYER. out laughing and said to Metternich: “Do you suppose I am going to waste my time Washington is dead. This great man over such foolishness? Suppose it were true, fought to overthrow tyranny. He consoli- what good could it do me? The dukes of dated the liberty of his country. His memory Florence were inferior in rank to the emper will ever be dear to the French people, as to ors of Germany. I will not place myself be every free man in both hemispheres, and es- neath my father-in-law. I think that as I pecially to French soldiers, who, like him and am, I am as good as he. My nobility dates the other soldiers of America, are fighting for from Monte Notte. Return him these pa equality and liberty. The First Consul or- pers." Metternich was very much amused. ders that black crape shall be draped on all GOURGAUD, quoting Napoleon. [Monte Notte the flags and pennants of the republic for was the scene of Napoleon's first victory.] ten days.-Order of Napoleon. Napoleon, the next time he met Alexan. I have read with attention all that Bona- der (at Tilsit), told him, “The king of Prus- parte has written: the early manuscripts of sia came in in the nick of time; if he had his childhood, his novels; next, his letters to appeared a quarter of an hour later I should Buttafucco, the super de Beaucaire, his pri- have found myself promising the queen [Lou vate letters to Josephine; the five volumes of ise) anything."-PRINCESS LOUISE. his speeches, his orders and his bulletins, his The child enraptured him. Like Henry despatches left unpublished and spoiled by IV., the great sovereign was often to be the editing in M. de Talleyrand's offices. I found lying on the ground playing with his know something of these matters; I have little son. He loved to play all manner of found scarcely any thoughts resembling the tricks upon him. Already the infant was great islander's nature, except in a scrap of | autograph left behind at Elba: "My heart brought by his governess regularly at break- fast time to the emperor's room. One of his denies itself to common joys as to ordinary great jokes was to dip the child's finger in pain." "Not having given myself life, I shall gravy and smear his face with it.-WER- | not rob myself of it, so long as it will have THEIMER. me." "My evil genius appeared to me and foretold my end, which I found at Leipzig." When Napoleon was in good humor as “I have laid the terrible spirit of innovation the result of a diplomatic conference, he was which was over-running the world.” This in the habit of taking leave of the plenipo- most certainly is genuine Bonaparte.-CHÂ. tentiaries with: “Go and dine with Cambacé- TEAUBRIAND. rès," who was second consul under the re- public and arch-chancellor under the empire, The Temps of August 16 has an article a man who never allowed the cares of gov- giving an account of the manner in which the ernment to distract his attention from what violet became the emblem of the imperial he conceived to be the great object of his | party in France. The facts are gathered life.—THISELTON-DYER. from a small pamphlet published in the year 1815 bearing the following lengthy title: "De- He has been heard to say, in one of those fense of the French People Against their Ac- moments when the strength of conviction ap- cusers, French as well as Foreign, Supported peared to weigh upon him, “The truly happy | by Evidence from the Correspondence of the man is he who hides from me in the country, ex-Monarch, Followed by the Anecdote which and when I die the world will utter a great Caused the Violet to Become a Rallying Sign, Ouf!”-MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. by the Author of 'Précis Historique sur Na. On one occasion he was seen, before the poleon.'” The story is as follows: Three whole court, to pick up a handful of little days before the departure for the island of fish that had been thrown out of the nets on | Elba, Bonaparte was walking in the gardens to the sand and to slip them into Bertrand's of Fontainebleau, accompanied by the Duke pocket, ... after which he begged the loan of Bassano and General Bertrand; the em- of the general's handkerchief. Bertrand im- peror was still uncertain whether he should mediately put his hand into his pocket and offer resistance or betake himself into exile drew it out still more quickly when his l in peace. The Duke of Bassano was endeav. Napoleon I. 440 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES great regret of Hortense, and probably to the circumstantial account being rendered, even satisfaction of Duroc. Louis submitted to to the smallest particular and the slightest have forced on him as a wife a woman who details. Lucien, wishing to marry Madame had hitherto avoided him as much as possible. Jouberthon, whom he had met at the house of She always manifested as much indifference the Count de - an intimate friend of his, for him as he displayed repugnance for her wrote between two and three o'clock in the and those sentiments have not been effaced. afternoon to Duquesnoy, mayor of the tenth BOURRIENNE. arrondissement, requesting him to come to his Alexander made the emperor a present residence about eight o'clock in the evening and bring the marriage register. Between of three superb pelisses of martin-sable, one five and six o'clock M. Duquesnoy received of which the emperor gave to his sister Pau- line; another to the Princess de Ponte-Coryo; from the château of the Tuileries an order and the third he had lined with green velvet not to take the register out of the munici- and ornamented with gold lace and it was pality and, above all, not to celebrate any this cloak which he constantly wore in Rus- marriage whatever, unless, in accordance with sia. The history of the one I carried from the law, the names of the parties thereto had him to the Princess Pauline is singular been published for eight days. At the hour enough to be related here, although it may indicated Duquesnoy arrived at the residence and asked to speak in private to the count, already have been told. The Princess Pauline to whom he communicated the order emanat- received much pleasure in receiving the em- ing from the château. Beside himself with peror's present and enjoyed displaying her cloak for the admiration of the household. anger, Lucien at once hired a hundred post One day, when she was in the midst of a horses for himself and his friends, and with- circle of ladies, to whom she was dilating on out delay he and Madame Jouberthon, with these friends and the people of the house- the quality and excellence of this fur, M. de Canouville arrived and the princess asked his hold, took carriages for the château of Ples- opinion of the present she had received from sis-Chamant, a pleasure house half a league the emperor. The handsome colonel not ap- beyond Senlis. The curé of the place, who pearing as much struck with admiration as was also associate mayor, was summoned and at midnight pronounced the civil mar. she expected, she was somewhat piqued and exclaimed, “What, Monsieur, do you not think riage; then, putting on his sacerdotal robes it exquisite?" over the scarf he wore as a civil officer of the "No, Madame.” “In order to punish you I wish you to keep this cloak; state, he bestowed on the fugitives the nuptial benediction. A good supper was then served, I give it to you and require you to wear it; at which the assistant and curé were present, I wish it, you understand.” It is probable but, as he returned to his vicarage about that there had been some disagreement be- tween her imperial highness and her protégé, six o'clock in the morning, he saw at his gate and the princess had seized the first means a post chaise, guarded by two soldiers and, of establishing peace; but, however that may on entering his house, found there an officer be, M. de Canouville needed little entreaty of the armed police, who invited him politely and the rich fur was carried to his house. to be kind enough to accompany him to A few days after, while the emperor was Paris. The poor curé thought himself lost, holding a review on the Place du Carrousel, but he was compelled to obey, under penalty M. de Canouville appeared on an unruly horse of being carried to Paris from one guard which he had great difficulty in controlling. house to another by the police. Nothing was left to him but to enter the fatal chaise, This caused some confusion and attracted his majesty's attention, who, glancing at M. which was drawn at a gallop by two good de Canouville, saw the cloak which he had horses and soon arrived at the Tuileries, where he was brought into the cabinet of the given his sister metamorphosed into a hus- First Consul, who said to him in a voice of sar's cape. The emperor had great difficulty thunder, “It is you then, Monsieur, who mar- in controlling his anger. "M. de Canouville," he cried, in a voice of thunder, “your horse ry members of my family without my con- is young and his blood is too warm; you will sent, and without having published the bans, go to cool it in Russia.” Three days after- as is your duty in your double capacity of curé, and assistant mayor. You well know wards M. de Canouville had left Paris.- that you deserve to be deprived of your of- CONSTANT. fice, excommunicated and tried before the The First Consul was informed each day, courts.” The unfortunate priest believed him. and very promptly, of all that took place in self already in prison; but after a severe lec- the interior of the homes of his brothers, a I ture he was sent back to his curacy, and the 441 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT two brothers were never reconciled.–CON. from a long journey. He was ushered into a STANT. drawing room where he saw Caulaincourt, I am sure that the marriage of Monsieur seated at a table writing; and, further on, a Lucien to Madame Jouberthon was the only man in a fur pelisse, calmly looking out of cause of this disagreement. The emperor the window, with his back turned to him. disapproved of this union because the lady's His first impulse was to express surprise at reputation was somewhat doubtful, and she seeing the general who, without noticing his was also divorced from her husband, who had salute, pointed to the individual at the win- become insolvent and fled to America. This dow; the stranger turned around and he insolvency, and the divorce especially, offend- found himself in the presence of the em- ed Napoleon deeply, who always felt a great peror. Struck with astonishment, he began repugnance to divorced people. Before this to utter some expressions of regret at the the emperor wished to raise his brother to disasters which public report had already the rank of sovereign, by making him marry widely disseminated, when Napoleon stopped the queen of Etruria, who had lost her hus- him in his harangue by a loud lough and ex- band. Lucien had refused this alliance on claimed, "From the sublime to the ridiculous several different occasions; and at last the is only a step," an expression which has since emperor became angry and said to him, “You been much cited.-RAIKES. see how far you are carrying your infatua (“There is but one step from the sublime tion and your foolish love for a femme ga- to the ridiculous,” said Napoleon in 1812. lante.” “At least," replied Lucien, “mine is The phrase will live as long as he will; yet young and pretty," alluding to the Empress in the form in which Tom Paine gave it in Josephine, who had been both the one and the his “Age of Reason” (Paris, 1795) it would other. The boldness of this reply excited the never have caught the popular fancy. “One emperor's anger beyond all bounds. At that step above the sublime," says Paine, “makes moment he held in his hands his watch, the ridiculous and one step above the ridicu- which he dashed with all his might on the lous makes the sublime again."—WILLIAM floor, crying out, “Since you will listen to SHEPARD, Lippincott's Magazine, December, nothing, see, I will break you like this 1889.) watch."-CONSTANT. One evening at Fontainebleau the French Quick Actions and Replies comedians had just played the “Marriage of He did not hesitate to say that he recog. Figaro," in the presence of the emperor. nized the superiority of a man by the greater When the curtain had fallen Marshal Lannes or less degree of cleverness with which he exclaimed, “When I think that formerly I used the art of lying. On the occasion of almost had myself trampled upon and smoth- saying this he added, with great complacency, ered to see that comedy! Well, to-day I see that when he was a child one of his uncles nothing amusing in it.” “That is because," had predicted that he would govern the said Napoleon, “at that time you were in the world, because he was a habitual liar. “M. pit and now you are in the first boxes.”— de Metternich," he added, “approaches to be. BLAZE. ing a statesman--he lies very well.”—MAD Well, well, what a beautiful fix we are AME DE RÉMUSAT. in now. Peace has been declared.-PASQUIER, Siévès, when Consul, once alluded to quoting Napoleon after the treaty of Amiens, 1802. Louis XVI. as “the tyrant.” Bonaparte ob- served: "Bah! He was no tyrant; if he had M. de Talleyrand told me that, when the been I would now be a captain of artillery news of his nephew's death reached Berlin, and you would be saying masses."-Fraser's Bonaparte, who was about to appear in pub- Magazine, April, 1842. lic, was so little affected that Talleyrand said, The Abbé de Pradt relates his interview “You forget that a death has occurred in your family and that you ought to look seri- with Napoleon, on the arrival of the latter ous." "I do not amuse myself,” replied at Warsaw, on his way to Paris. He says Bonaparte, “by thinking of dead people.”— that he was called out of his bed early in the morning by an orderly officer, who left strict MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. injunctions that he should repair immediate A very amiable speech of Bonaparte's, of ly to the chief hotel in the town on pressing a graceful kind unusual to him, was much business. On entering the courtyard no par- talked of. He had a superb pair of pistols ticular object struck him, but a Russian | made, with the names of all of Moreau's bat- sledge covered with dust, evidently arrived | tles engraved on the handles in gold letters. 443 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT diate commission nor his general employment ceiving that it was the emperor himself, had to any living soul, directed him to inquire the seen the incident. “Shoulder arms!” shouted price of such articles at several shops in the Little Corporal, in a tone of instant com- Paris and to order a dozen as for himself. mand; "right about, turn,” which was me- They were one-third less dear than those chanically obeyed, and the two soldiers re- furnished to the palace. The emperor, in mained fixed and immovable with their backs ferring that the same advantage had been to the balcony, looking into space, long after taken in the other articles, struck off a third Napoleon had returned to the ball room.- of the whole charge, and directed the trades JAMES HILL, Macmillan's Magazine, July, men to be informed that it had been done at 1898. his express command, because on inspection I alighted and crossed the Rue Nicaire, he had discovered the charges to be one-third which was strewn with the bodies of those too exorbitant.-LORD HOLLAND. who had been thrown down and the frag- Bonaparte, when on the point of setting ments of the walls that had been shattered by out for Egypt, went to see M. de Talley. the explosion. Neither the Consul nor any rand, then minister of foreign affairs under individual of his suite had sustained any the Directory. "I was in bed, being ill,” serious injury. When I entered the theater said M. de Talleyrand. "Bonaparte sat down Napoleon was seated in his box, calm and com- near me and divulged to me all the dreams posed, and looking at the audience through of his youthful imagination. I was inter his opera glass. "Josephine," said he, as ested in him because of the activity of his soon as he observed me. She entered at that mind and also because of the obstacles which moment and he did not finish his question. I was aware would be placed in his way by “The rascals,” said he very coolly, "wanted to secret enemies of whom I knew. He told me blow me up. Bring me a book of the ora- of the difficulty in which he was placed for torio."-RAPP. want of money, and that he did not know November 8, 1817.—There was formerly where to get any. "Stay,' I said to him, "open a Buonoventura Bonaparte, who lived and my desk. You will find there a hundred died a monk. The poor man lay quietly in thousand francs which belong to me. They his grave; nothing was thought about him are yours for the present; you may repay until I was on the throne of France. It was the money when you return.' Bonaparte then discovered that he had been possessed threw himself on my neck and I was really of many virtues, which never had been at- delighted to witness his joy. When he became tributed to him before, and the pope pro- Consul he gave me back the money I had lent posed to me to canonize him. I said, "Holy him, but he asked me one day, 'What interest Father, spare me the ridicule of that; you could you have had in lending me that money? being in my power all the world will say that I have thought about it a hundred times I forced you to make a saint out of my fam. since then and have never been able to make ily.”—O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. out your object.' 'I had none,' I replied; 'I was feeling very ill; it was quite possible I September 29, 1817.-St. Napoleon ought should never see you again; but you were to be much obliged to me and do everything young, you had impressed me very strongly in his power for me in the world to come. and I felt impelled to render you a service Poor fellow, nobody knew him before. He without any afterthought whatever.' 'In had not even a day in the calendar. I got that case,' said Bonaparte, “if it was really him one and persuaded the pope to give him done without any design, you acted a dupe's the fifteenth of August, my birthday.- part.'”—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. There was a ball at Marrac and the win- The advice given after the taking of Am- dows were thrown open to admit the cool iens by the first Napoleon to the archbishop of Malines, when he sent him as ambassador night air, when suddenly the music ceased to London: "Above all, do not fail to give and two sentinels, who were pacing their beat below, saw a beautiful young lady run good dinners and take great care of the out into the balcony in her ball dress, evident- women."-LOLIÉE. ly to enjoy the refreshing breeze without. This pretty queen [Louise of Prussia] She was quickly followed by an officer of the dining one day with the three sovereigns, Chasseurs of the Guard, who, placing him filled a glass with champagne and said with self beside her, affectionately saluted her, that infinite grace she possessed to a supreme when he suddenly became aware that the two degree, a grace which at this moment came sentinels, transfixed with amazement at per-| to the aid of politics at bay: "To the health Napoleon I. 414 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of Napoleon the Great! He has taken our that in order to spare those who do not want states and now he returns them to us." The to attend.”—THIBADEAU. emperor arose, returned the bow with cour One of the greatest admirers of this ex. tesy, and replied: "Do not drink all, Mad- traordinary personage not long since ex- ame.”-BLAZE. pressed to me a serious apprehension that Campbell [Sir Neil] says that at eleven | he would some day lay claim to worship from o'clock on the day of quitting Fontainebleau, mankind as a being of a superior species. General Bertrand pulled out his watch and, Observing that I smiled at his alarm, he as- presenting it to Napoleon, said: "It is time sured me from his own personal knowledge to quit this place," upon which, Napoleon, of the man that he does entertain this idea of himself and has repeatedly manifested a much enraged, exclaimed, “What! Have I fallen so low as to be regulated by the watch propensity to give it out to the world. He of a fellow like you ?”—BROUGHTON. has, indeed, the example of Alexander, and still more that of Mahomet, before him; and, Religion notwithstanding we live in an age so en- The emperor was very absent-minded lightened, I am not sure that if he chose to during the services at church, which were proclaim himself a deity, like Alexander, or a prophet, like Mahomet, he would not have not long, as they never lasted more than ten eight hundred thousand soldiers ready to or fifteen minutes; and yet I have been told that his majesty asked if it were not possible propagate his faith at the point of the bay. to perform them in less time. He bit his onet throughout the habitable world. - ADAMS, letter to John Adams, St. Petersburg, nails, took snuff oftener than usual and April 30, 1810. looked about him constantly, while a prince of the church uselessly took the trouble to Superstition turn the leaves of his majesty's book, in order to follow the service.-CONSTANT. One day at Fontainebleau Fesch was dis- puting harshly, as was his usual custom. The When the First Consul determined to emperor grew angry and told him that he hear mass publicly on Sundays in the chapel was a libertine, an infidel, had good grounds of the palace, a small altar was prepared in for assuming such a hypocritical manner, etc. a room near his cabinet of business. The “It is possible,” said Fesch, “but that does room had been Anne of Austria's oratory. A not prevent you from committing injustice; small portable altar, placed on a platform you are devoid of reason, justice and even one step high, restored it to its original pretexts; you are the most unjust of men.” destination. During the rest of the week this At the end the emperor took him by the chapel was used as a bathing room. On Sun hand, opened the window and led him on to days the door of communication was opened the balcony. “Look up there,” he said; “do and we heard mass sitting in our cabinet of you see anything?" "No," replied Fesch; “I business. The number of persons there never see nothing.” “Well, then, learn to hold your exceeded three or four and the First Consul tongue," the emperor went on: "I can see my seldom failed to transact some business dur star; it is that which guides me. No ing the ceremony, which never lasted longer longer dare to compare your weak and im- than twelve minutes. Next day all the pa- , perfect faculties to my superior organiza- pers had the news that the First Consul had tion.”—MARMONT. heard mass in his apartments. In the same Fesch was one day about to make some way Louis XVIII. has often heard it in his. observations on the Spanish war. He had -BOI RRIENNE. scarcely uttered two words when Napoleon, In fact, this mass was a simple piece of leading him to the window, said: "Do you see mummery. There was not room in the chapel | that star?” It was noon and the archbishop for a quarter of those who came; the rest replied that he saw none. “Well,” said Na- wandered about and chatted in the galleries poleon, "so long as I am the only one who while the praises of God were being poured perceives it, I will pursue my own course forth by the actresses of the Opéra. The and will hear no more reflections on my con- First Consul could have had no doubt of the duct.”-RAPP. repugnance of the greater part of his court It is probable that Napoleon's extreme to these services, nor could he fail to hear the tenderness for Josephine was prompted, not jokes and sarcasms openly made upon them. only by affection, but by a superstition that One day, the mass having been celebrated an she was in some way associated with the con- hour earlier than usual, he said, “We did | tinuance of his wonderful career. “They Napoleon L. 446 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Napoleon violated the pledge he had given or attended a review, he wore the grand to a personage who had obtained for him all cordon outside of his coat. His hat, which it his wonderful successes. . . . It is hardly is almost superfluous to describe, as long as credible, but true, that I heard this story portraits of his majesty are extant, was of argued upon as if it were a fact by some of an extremely fine and light kind of beaver. the Bourbon party. Everybody talked about The inside was wadded and lined with silk. it.-REDDING. It was unadorned with either cord, tassel or Dress feather, its only ornament being a silk loop, The emperor would never allow his fastening a small tri-colored cockade.--CON- clothes to be in the least tight, and conse- STANT. quently his tailors made his coats as if they Two hours after he had left his room it had measured them upon the sentry box. | often happened that his breeches were stained When he married Marie Louise, the king of | with ink, owing to his habit of wiping his Naples prevailed upon him to have his clothes pen on them, and scattering ink all around made by his tailor. The emperor wore them him by knocking his pen against the table. most courageously for a short time, but he Nevertheless, as he dressed in the morning could endure the torture no longer, and he for the whole day, he did not change his begged for mercy. He submitted the question clothes on that account and remained in that to the decision of the empress, who, as long condition the remainder of the day.-Con- as she could ride on horseback and take four STANT, or five meals a day, was always good-humored As soon as he descended into the court. and willing to agree to anything. She there- i yard he mounted a handsome white steed and fore granted Napoleon full power to dress immediately set off at full gallop, inspecting according to his own fancy, saying that she every corps, passing through the lines, and liked the emperor as well one way as another. receiving petitions, a number of which were Perhaps she would have spoken more correct presented by the soldiers. He is a very bold ly had she said that she did not like him rider, but not a very good and certainly an any better one way than another.-DUCHESS ungraceful one. From his bad horsemanship D’ABRANTÈS. (by improper checking) he brought himself He was so economical about his dress and horse to the ground. He then dismount- that he once asked me to put a patch on his ed; while the mud was washed off the poor hunting breeches, where his hanger had worn animal, he disdained changing his dress and a hole. I refused point blank. He was a bad | appeared at the levee after the parade in his customer to me; he had his own embroiderer; muddy uniform, where the diplomatic corps his silk merchant; he argued over the bills and a number of sprucely attired strangers and made me waste my time. Once I had to had the honor of being thus received by him. go fifteen days running to St. Cloud about - BRISBANE. one coat.-SIBOUTIE, quoting Leger. He attended to his hands and nails with Ilis majesty's waistcoats and small | great care. Several pairs of nail scissors had clothes were always of white casimir. He to be in readiness, as he would break or throw changed them every morning and never wore them away if they were not sufficiently sharp. them after they had been washed three or He never made use of any perfumes except. four times. The emperor never wore any ing eau de Cologne, but of that he would get thing but white silk stockings. His shoes, through sixty bottles in a month. He con- which were very light and lined with silk, sidered it a very wholesome practise to were ornamented with gold buckles of an oval sprinkle himself thoroughly with eau de form, either plain or wrought. He also oc Cologne.—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. casionally wore gold knee-buckles. During Tobacco the empire I never saw him wear pantaloons. The emperor never wore jewels. In his The emperor never took tobacco except pockets he carried neither purse nor money, in his snuff-boxes; and, although he wasted but merely his handkerchief, snuff-box and a great quantity of it, he really used very bonbonnière (sweetmeat box). He usually little, as he took a pinch, held it to his nose wore only two decorations, viz., the cross of | simply to smell it, and let it fall immediate- the Legion of Honor and that of the Iron ly. It is true that the place where he had Crown. Across his waistcoat and under his been was covered with it; but his handker. uniform coat he wore a red ribbon, the two chiefs, irreproachable witnesses in such mat. ends of which were scarcely perceptible. ters, were scarcely stained, and, although When he received company at the Tuileries, 1 they were white and of fine linen, certainly 447 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT bore no marks of a snuff-taker. Sometimes upon the correctness of this assertion, when he simply passed his open snuff-box under he is informed that twelve pounds of the only his nose in order to breathe the odor of the kind of snuff he used were brought by tobacco it contained. CONSTANT. Marchand from Paris in July, 1815, of which He only used to smell at his pinches and rather more than one-half remained when I his handkerchiefs were never soiled with left St. Helena in July, 1818.-O'MEARA. snuff.-MÉNEVAL. The emperor took a fancy on one occa- Many a time did he offer a "courteous | sion, but only one, to try a pipe, as I shall pinch of snuff” during the debates in the now relate. The Persian ambassador (or councils of state. When the emperor saw perhaps it was the Turkish ambassador who that a proposal he had laid before the council came to Paris under the consulate) had made was not going as well as he wished he be his majesty a present of a very handsome trayed a nervous impatience in all his move- pipe such as is used by the Orientals. One ments and had recourse to ingenious methods day he was seized with a desire to try it and of distracting attention from his person. On had everything necessary for this purpose such occasions, if he noticed that the atten- prepared. The fire having been applied to the tion of a councilor was fixed on himself, he bowl, the only question now was to light the would make him a sign and stretch out his tobacco; but from the manner in which his arm, moving his finger and thumb, which majesty attempted this it was impossible for implied, "Give me a pinch of snuff.” The him to succeed, as he alternately opened and member, of course, would hasten to pass his closed his lips repeatedly without drawing in snuff-box to the emperor, who would take a his breath at all. “Why, what is the mat- pinch and then toy with the box, scattering ter?” cried he; "it does not work at all.” I the powder about. The box generally found called his attention to the fact that he was its way into the emperor's pocket, for in not inhaling properly and showed him how his preoccupation he forgot to restore it to it ought to be done; but the emperor still its owner; sometimes three or four disap- continued his performances, which were like peared in this way at one sitting, and it was some peculiar kind of yawning. Tired out by only on leaving the council that he discovered his fruitless efforts at last, he told me to what he had done in his absent-mindedness. light it for him, which I did, and instantly Needless to say, the snuff-boxes were returned handed it back to him. But he had hardly without delay to their rightful owners. taken a whiff when the smoke, which he did Sometimes, in fact, they underwent an agree- not know how to breathe out again, filled his able change on leaving the imperial pocket throat, got into his windpipe and came out and the member who had perhaps lent a through his nose in great puffs. As soon as modest tortoise-shell box received in exchange he could get his breath he panted forth: a gold one, ornamented either with diamonds “Take it away; what a pest! Oh, the or his master's miniature.-NICOLAY. wretches! It has made me sick.” In fact he felt ill for at least an hour after, and He takes an amazing quantity of snuff renounced forever "the pleasure of a habit, of a very coarse sort; he keeps it in a large which," he said, “is only good for do-nothings box in the shape of a chest and spills two- to kill time.”-CONSTANT. thirds of what he takes in one pinch.- MILLS. III He was very much troubled with cough MILITARY ANECDOTES and this had forced him to rise from table earlier than he otherwise would have done. With His Soldiers "I unthinkingly took too much snuff,” said D'Apre's account is so complete that he he; "my attention having been absorbed in forces my belief. ... He tells me that he has the conversation of the moment; in such been assured by French officers that Bona- cases you should always take away my snuff- parte is deficient in courage and that in the box; that is the way to serve those one great affair in which he gained such a miracu- loves." -LAS CASES. lous victory against Alzini he had already It has been asserted that Napoleon took called a council to consider whether his army snuff in such immoderate quantities that he should lay down their arms, when a negro, was in the habit of cramming his waistcoat galloping off at the head of four hundred pockets full of that article, as no snuff-box horse, either from the effect of terror or in could contain a sufficiency for his consump a fit of desperation, struck a panic into the tion. The reader may form his own opinion Austrian irregulars, who had performed acts Napoleon I. 448 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of heroic bravery and were already chanting Still fortune was propitious and in the end victory. This communicated itself to the a sum was realized sufficient to enable the whole line.--MORRIS. dashing young hero of Arcola to assume the Bonaparte's batteries [1793] soon at- command with no little personal splendor tacked Little Gibraltar, which did not fail and éclat.—LORD HOLLAND. to reply, the advantage of positions, num He was met by Marescot, who had been bers and guns belonging to the English. employed in exploring the wild passes of the One day the firing became terribly sharp. Great St. Bernard, and received from him an There were scarcely enough hands to work appalling picture of the difficulties of march- the pieces. Bonaparte was there. He took ing an army by that route into Italy. “Is the sponge dropped by one of the gunners, it possible to pass ?” said Napoleon. “The whose legs. had been shot away, and until thing is barely possible," answered Marescot. dusk replaced the wounded man. The soldier “Very well,” said the Chief Consul; “let us whom he replaced had the itch, and the proceed.”—LOCKHART. sponge Bonaparte handled gave him that On July 18th Napoleon suddenly ap- disease, which he had a long time, and from peared at Boulogne-sur-Mer, in the midst of which he still suffered when he was first Consul.-GERMAIN BAPST, Scribner's Maga- his camps and flotilla. His first words to Marshal Soult on arrival were, “How much zine, January, 1894. time do you require to be able to embark ?" A curious story is not only recorded, but “Three days, sire." "I can give you only assumed to be without controversy true, that one,” retorted the emperor. “That is an im- Napoleon's Italian expedition was forced up- possibility,” answered the marshal. "Impos- on him in fulfilment of an oath which he sible, sir!” exclaimed the emperor; “I am had taken in youth, on joining a secret society not acquainted with the word; it is not in of Carbonari, to serve the cause of Italian the French language; erase it from your freedom; and that the necessity of such dictionary.” He indeed at once prescribed action was impressed upon his attention by such measures as would ensure the possibility the murderous attack of Orsini, who was of embarking within twenty-four hours.- commissioned thus forcibly to recall the SÉGUR. crowned conspirator to a sense of his obli- gations.-RUSSELL, Longman's Magazine, I have just heard the following about May, 1887, citing Count Vitzthum, "Remi- Bonaparte. On a certain occasion, prior to the unfortunate campaign in Russia, when niscences of St. Petersburg and London.” everything was ready for signing a treaty A strange story is told of his mode of with the Northern powers, Maret, by an in- obtaining money to enable him to take the discretion, decided the destiny of both command of the Army of Italy. The Direc- France and Napoleon. After the other signa- tory either would not or could not assist him tures had been affixed to the document, and with an advance to defray the expenses of Napoleon held in his hand the pen with which the journey of himself and his aide-de-camp he was to sign his name, Maret said, “On and of their suitable appearance at head- previous occasions, sire, it was your majesty quarters. He collected and raised all the that gave peace; now the powers return the sums he could, but the amount was still far gift.” At these words Napoleon turned dead- from adequate. He confided it all to Junot ly pale and impetuously threw the pen on the and sent him with it to the gaming table, table. Prayers were unavailing; Maret al. directing him either to lose the whole or in- most wept, but Napoleon had made up his crease it before morning to a considerable mind; with a shrug of the shoulders he amount. Upon that night's play depended walked out of the room.-LADY SHELLEY. Bonaparte's power of assuming the command of the army and appointing Junot his aide- Among his instructions to his marshal in de-camp; nay, for anything that we can see, Spain one was frequently repeated: “Force Wellington to fight upon every possible oc- that night's play was the pivot upon which the history of Europe for nearly twenty casion. Win, if you can, but lose a battle years was to turn. Junot was a practised rather than deliver none. We can afford to gamester and fortune favored him. He re- expend three men for every one he loses and turned to General Bonaparte after he had you will thus wear him out in the end."- won for as long a succession of throws as GLEIG. he dared to trust his luck. The general was Riding with her [his mistress] one day dissatisfied and sent him back again, to in the middle of our positions in the environs double the sum he had gained or lose it all. I of the hill of Tenda, whilst reconnoitering as 449 Napoleon 1 OF THE GREAT commandant of artillery, the notion sudden disastrously defeated. This produced a bad ly occurred to me of treating her to the effect in Paris and disgusted the emperor spectacle of a little war and I ordered an forever with naval enterprises. He became attack on advanced posts. We were the con- ! so deeply prejudiced against the French navy querors, it is true, but there could evi- that from that time it was scarcely possible dently be no result. The attack was a pure to induce him to take any interest in or pay fancy, and yet some men fell in it. Later any attention to the subject. Vainly did I have bitterly reproached myself with this the sailors or soldiers who had distinguished affair whenever it occurred to me.—LAS themselves on that fatal day endeavor to ob- CASES, quoting Napoleon. tain recognition or sympathy for the dangers In short I used to say of him that his they had encountered; they were practically forbidden even to revert to the disaster; and presence in the field made a difference of forty thousand men.-LORD STANHOPE, quot- when, in after years, they wanted to obtain ing Wellington. any favor, they took care not to claim it on the score of the admirable courage to which “Soldiers, you are hungry and naked; only the English despatches rendered justice. the republic owes you much, but she has not - MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. the means to pay her debts. I am come to In one of his occasional fits of frank- lead you into the most fertile plains the sun ness I heard him say that he liked to bestow beholds. Rich provinces, opulent towns-all glory only on those who knew not how to shall be at your disposal. Soldiers, with such sustain it. According to his policy with the a prospect before you, can you fail in cour- military chiefs under his orders, or the de. age and constancy?” This was Napoleon's gree of confidence he placed in them, he would first address to his army.-LOCKHART. either preserve silence concerning certain vic- Those, having rid them of their usual tories of theirs, or change the blunder of a dress, were still suffused in perpetual floods particular marshal into a success. A general of perspiration and the hardiest found it would hear through some bulletin of an ac- necessary to give two or three hours in the tion which had never taken place, or of a middle of the day to sleep-Napoleon al speech which he had never made. Another tered nothing; wore his uniform buttoned up would find himself famous in the newspapers as at Paris; never showed one bead of sweat and would wonder how he had deserved to be on his brow; nor thought of repose except to | thus distinguished. Others would endeavor lie down in his cloak the last at night and to protest against his neglect of them, or start up the first in the morning. It re- against distorted accounts of events. But quired, however, all that this example of how was it possible to correct what had once endurance and the influence of character could been read and was already effaced by more do, to prevent the army from breaking out recent news ? For Bonaparte's rapidity in into open mutiny.-LOCKHART. war gave us daily something fresh to learn. Sometimes Napoleon liked to question On these occasions he would either impose the officers; when they answered promptly, silence on the protest, or, if he wished to without hesitation, he appeared well pleased. appease the offended officer, a sum of money, After the battle of Ratisbon, he stopped be- a prize from the enemy, or permission to levy fore the officer of a regiment. "How many a tax was granted to him, and thus the affair men present under arms?” “Sire, eighty- would end.-MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. four.” “How many recruits of this year?” Citoyen Boyer, surgeon, who has been so “Twenty-two." "How many soldiers with cowardly as to refuse help to some wounded four years' service?” “Seventy-five." "How because they were supposed to be infected, many wounded yesterday?” “Eighteen." | is unworthy of being a French citizen. He “How many killed ?” “Ten." "By the bay. is to be dressed in woman's clothes and parad- onet?” “Yes, sire.” “Good.” To be killed ed through the streets of Alexandria on a regularly one had to be killed by the bayonet; donkey, with a board on his back, on which a coward may die afar, struck by a bullet or shall be written, "Unworthy of being a by a cannon ball; he who dies of a bayonet French citizen-he fears death." After thrust is necessarily a hero. The emperor which he is to be placed in prison and sent had an extreme fondness for those who per back to France by the first ship.-Napoleon's ished in this manner.-BLAZE. order, January 8, 1799. Admiral Nelson had just beaten our M. Maret, the secretary of Napoleon, fleet at Trafalgar. The French navy had used to relate many amusing anecdotes of fought with splendid bravery, but had been the freedom with which the great general Napoleon I. 450 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES was treated by the army and how much In his works—I mean in all he has ever writ- these familiarities amused him. On one ten-you never find a thing related precise occasion the Army of Italy, seeing Napoleon ly as it happened. He seems to have had always in the same dusty and battered hat no clear or distinct recollection; scarcely in which he had braved so many battles, en once has he ever tripped into truth.--LORD tered into a subscription to buy him a new STANHOPE. one, which present flattered and entertained Women when they are bad are worse him in the highest degree.-New Monthly than men and more ready to commit crime. Magazine, September, 1850. The soft sex, when degraded, falls lower than One day I met an officer, Rapp I believe, the other. Women are always much better in the field of battle with his face covered or much worse than men. Witness the knit. with blood and I cried, “Oh, how beautiful ters of Paris during the revolution. When he is!” This is true enough; and of it they I commanded at the Col de Tende, a most have made a crime. My admiration of the mountainous and difficult country, to enter bravery of a gallant soldier is construed into which the army was obliged to pass over a a crime and a proof of my delighting in blood. narrow bridge, I had given directions that --O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. no women should be allowed to accompany it, as the service was a most difficult one Croker-What do you say about Mar- and required the troops to be continually mont and the battle of Salamanca ? Duke- on the alert. To enforce this order I placed Why, Bonaparte was furious against him two captains on the bridge, with instructions, and it certainly seems that he ought to have waited for the reenforcements under Joseplı, on pain of death, not to permit a woman to pass. I went to the bridge myself to see that which would have so much increased his army; but, as to the battle itself, I saw my orders were complied with, where I found a crowd of women assembled. As soon as not much to criticise beyond his having they perceived me they began to revile me, spread himself too much in endeavoring to bawling out, “Oh, then, pelit caporal, it is get around me. Bonaparte was, as I told you who have given orders not to let us you, in a furious rage at first, but when he pass.” I was then called petit caporal by received our gazette with my account of the the army. Some miles farther on I was battle, he said: “This is true; I am sure this is a true account and Marmont, after surprised to see a considerable number of women with the troops. I immediately or- all, is not so much to blame," and he re- dered the two captains to be put under arrest stored him, or pretended to restore him, to and brought before me, intending to have favor. This I was told by Barbadel (the them tried immediately. They protested their Bayonne banker, a kind of partner of Perri- innocence and asserted that no woman had gaud, and Madame Marmont's father) who crossed the bridge. I caused some of these dined with me long after at St. Jean de Luz, dames to be brought when, to my astonish- and surprised me very much by telling me, with true French civility, that I had done ment, by their own confession, I found that they had thrown away the provisions that Marmont an essential service. I thought I had been provided for the support of the army had done quite the contrary and asked how. out of some of the casks, concealed them- "Why," replied he, “by writing that despatch, selves in them and passed over unperceived. which was so honest and clear that Bonaparte -O'MEARA, quoting Napoleon. saw the thing in its real light and forgave Marmont.”——('ROKER, quoting Wellington. The accusation, which for many years It was mentioned by Lord Clanwilliam made so much noise throughout Europe, that it was said that great memories were amounts to this: That on the 27th of May, usually the sign of great talents. I instanced when it was necessary for Napoleon to pur- Napoleon and observed on his singling out sue his march from Jaffa for Egypt, a cer- soldiers in reviews whom he knew by name. tain number of the plague patients in the “That,” said the duke, "was the greatest mis. hospital were found to be in a state that take. I'll tell you how he managed it. One held out no hope whatever of their recovery; of his generals (Lobau) used to get ready that the general, being unwilling to leave for him a list of soldiers to be called out | them to the tender mercies of the Turks, from each regiment and so Napoleon, when conceived the notion of administering opium, opposite to it, used to call out the name and and so procuring for them at least a speedy the man came forth--that was all. I also and easy death; and that accordingly a doubt the goodness of his memory, from the number of men were taken off in this method looseness and inaccuracy of his statements. I at his command. This story, the circum- 451 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT stances of which were much varied in dif- glory of France; but, nevertheless, owing to ferent accounts, especially as regards the his devotion to Moreau, whose cause, when number of the poisoned, was first dissemi- brought to trial by the First Consul, he nated by Sir Robert Wilson, and was in sub warmly espoused, his name was ruthlessly stance generally believed in England. In obliterated from the rolls of the French each and all of its parts, on the contrary, it army. He had offended Bonaparte and for was wholly denied by the admirers of Bona years remained in the obscurity of civil life. parte, who treated it as one of the many | In 1815, however, after the emperor's re- gross falsehoods which certainly were cir turn from Elba, generals of tried capacity culated touching the personal character and had to be found and Napoleon's thoughts conduct of their idol, during the continuance flew to Lecourbe. Accordingly an order from of his power. Bonaparte himself, while at the ministry of war commanded him to pre- St. Helena, referred to the story frequently, sent himself at the Tuileries, to which a curt and never hesitated to admit that it orig. reply was returned that General Lecourbe, inated in the following occurrence: He sent, being no longer a soldier, could not recog- he said, the night before the march was to nize any order of the sort; if the emperor commence, for Desgenettes, the chief of the wished to see him one of his aides-de-camp medical staff, and proposed to him, under must convey the intimation. On the morrow such circumstances as have been described, arrived an officer with a personal invitation the propriety of giving opium, in mortal from his imperial majesty to come the next doses, to seven men; adding that had his son day to the Tuileries at eleven o'clock in the been in their situation he would have thought I morning. “I will go," said the old warrior it his duty, as a father, to treat him in the to a friend, "but I shall speak my mind same method; and that, most certainly, had at last I shall be able to have it out with he himself been in that situation and capable him.” The interview, indeed, seemed likely of understanding it, he would have considered to be a stormy one. At eleven the next the deadly cup as the best boon that friend morning the general (not in uniform) await- ship could offer him. M. Desgenettes, how. ed the emperor in the hall next his breakfast ever, did not consider himself as entitled to room, from which Napoleon soon emerged. interfere in any such method with the lives Perceiving Lecourbe, he at once motioned of his fellow men; the patients were aban to him to approach, but before he was able doned; and at least one of the number fell to do so strode forward himself (a thing he alive into the hands of Sir Sydney Smith and never did for anybody) and then, drawing recovered.--LOCKHART. himself up, fixed the old soldier with his eagle gaze. “General Lecourbe,” said he in The Duke of Rovigo mentioned that after a resonant and penetrating voice, "your griev- the battle of Wagram Napoleon, accompanied ances against the Emperor Napoleon I con- by him and several others, rode over the fess are great, but they have not, I hope, field, and pointed out for assistance many of obliterated all your recollections of your old the wounded from whom life had not yet friend, General Bonaparte. He, remember, departed. While employed in this manner is still your friend. Are you willing to be the body of a colonel named Pepin, who had his?” At these words the veteran, already fallen under his displeasure for some mis- strongly moved by the mere appearance of conduct several years before, and had not the emperor, completely lost his self-posses- been actively employed until a short time sion, whilst two big tears slowly rolled down before the battle of Wagram, attracted his his cheeks on to his grizzled mustache. Ter- attention, though he had not seen him for a ribly embarrassed, he could only stammer out number of years. He was on his back, a ball a few words of thanks and his emotion rather had perforated his head, and life was not increased than lessened when Napoleon said, extinct, although he was insensible. "Ah, "I was sure I should find again my comrade Pepin, poor fellow," said Napoleon in a feel- of other days!” Then, unbuckling his sword: ing manner, “I am sorry to see him here and | “There will be work to do on the banks of still more so that, before he met his fate, I the Rhine; you know the ground and I can had not an opportunity to let him know rely on you?" "Yes, sire; you may be sure that I had forgiven him and forgotten his of that." "Take then this sword, general, as conduct."-O'MEARA. the pledge of our reconciliation; there is no Holding command in the Army of the one able to use it better than yourself." Rhine under Moreau, General Lecourbe must 1... That afternoon General Lecourbe's name certainly be mentioned in the foremost rank appeared in the Gazette as commander of an of those who contributed to the military | important army corps.-LADY NEVILL. Napoleon I. 452 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES On the emperor's arrival at the plateau i eral Bonaparte during the frightful heats of Weimar, he arranged his army in line of of the desert. Napoleon thanked him again battle and bivouacked in the midst of his for his melon, but declined to decorate him guard. About two o'clock in the morning he on that ground. The soldier, in a paroxysm arose and went on foot to examine the work of passion, cried out: “Eh, you count for on the road that was being cut in the rock | nothing seven wounds received at the bridge for the transportation of artillery and, after at Arcola, at Lodi, Castiglione, the Pyramids, remaining nearly an hour with the work St. Jean d'Acre, Austerlitz, Friedland- men, decided to take a look at the nearest eleven campaigns in Egypt, Austria, Prus- advance posts before returning to his bivouac. sia- " “Ta, ta, ta," said the emperor, This round, which the emperor insisted on "how you do storm; you ought to have be- making alone and with no escort, came near gun with this story, which is worth more costing him his life. The night was so dark than your melon. I make you a Chevalier of that the sentinels of the camp could not see the Empire with a dotation of twelve hun- ten steps in front of them; and the first, | dred francs. Are you content?” “Sire, I hearing some one in the darkness approach prefer the cross," was the answer. It was ing our line, called out “Qui vive ?” and with difficulty that the old soldier was made prepared to fire. The emperor being lost in to understand that the cross went with the thought, as he himself told me afterwards, title of Chevalier. At last Napoleon took did not notice the sentinel's challenge and the cross and placed it himself on his breast made no reply until a ball, whistling by his and the veteran went away contented.- ears, woke him from his reverie, when, im Temple Bar, February, 1892, citing "Me- mediately perceiving his danger, he threw moirs of General Marbot." himself face downward on the ground, which A captain of artillery made up his mind was a very wise precaution; for hardly had to to address the emperor personally and ask his majesty placed himself in that position, him for promotion. The emperor came to than other balls passed over his head, the the citadel, but the captain was so over- discharge of the first sentinel having been come with shyness that he was unable to find repeated by the whole line. The first fire voice to proffer his demand. When the in- over, the emperor rose, walked towards the spection was over and the emperor was about nearest post and made himself known. His to retire, the captain rushed after him: majesty was still there when the soldier who “Sire, sire." Napoleon paused. “What do had fired on him joined them, being just you want, sir?” “Sire, fifteen years' service, relieved at his post; he was a young gren- four in the rank of captain, covered with adier of the line. The emperor ordered him wounds ." "Major,” replied Napoleon. to approach and, pinching his cheeks hard, And he walked on.-SIBOUTIE. exclaimed, “What! You scamp, you took me for a Prussian! This rascal does not Napoleon's valet Constant mentions Jar. throw away his powder on sparrows; he din and tells the story that Napoleon on the shoots only at emperors.” The poor soldier day of Waterloo called for his horse and, was completely overcome with the idea that Jardin being absent for the moment, a groom he might have killed the little corporal, whom saddled one but used the wrong bridle so he adored as much as did the rest of the that the horse became restive and threw army; and it was with great difficulty he Bonaparte, who fell heavily to the ground. could say, "Pardon, sire, but I was obeying Jardin rushed up in alarm and his master in a towering rage struck him across the orders and if you did not answer it was not face with his riding whip. The equerry was my fault. I was compelled to have the insulted at this abominable treatment and countersign and you did not give it.” The M. de Caulaincourt, the chief equerry, went emperor reassured him with a smile and said, to the emperor and expostulated with him. as he left the post, "My brave boy, I do not Napoleon then apologized and presented Jar- reproach you. That was pretty well aimed din with the sum of three thousand francs.- for a shot fired in the dark; but after a while Low. it will be daylight; take better aim and I will remember you.”—CONSTANT. At seven in the evening, when I returned with the First Consul to headquarters, he ex- Napoleon was adored by his soldiers. pressed to me his sincere regret for the loss There is an amusing account of an alterca of Desaix, and then he added, "Little Keller- tion between him and an old soldier, who de- mann made a lucky charge. He did it just at manded the cross of the Legion of Honor the right moment. We are much indebted because he had once given a melon to Gen. | to him. You see what trifling circumstances 453 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT decide these affairs.” These few words show mann, who, seizing the opportune moment, that Bonaparte sufficiently appreciated the did not hesitate to charge into the midst of services of Kellermann. IIowever, when that | that unbroken and solid mass, which, to all officer approached the table at which were appearances, by its weight alone would pros- seated the First Consul and a number of his trate his force the moment he should appear generals, Bonaparte merely said, “You made before it. IIis comrades congratulated him a pretty good charge." By way of counter- | upon his glorious achievement; but, when he balancing this cool compliment he turned came into the presence of the Consul, the lat- towards Bessières, who commanded the horse ter accosted him with his accustomed haughty grenadiers of the Guard, and said, "Bessières, air of superiority; and, without questioning the Guard has covered itself with glory." | him as to the events of the day, merely said, Yet the fact is that the Guard took no part “That was rather a fine charge that you in the charge of Kellermann, who could as- made.” The youthful soldier indignantly re- semble only five hundred heavy cavalry; and plied, "I rejoice that you appreciate it, since with this handful of brave men he cut in it places the crown on your head.” The two the Austrian column, which had over- Consul, who never liked his designs to be dis- whelmed Desaix's division and had made six covered before he declared them himself, took thousand prisoners. The Guard did not umbrage at this, and ever after showed him- charge at Marengo until nightfall. Next day self unfriendly to the son of the marshal to it was reported that Kellermann, in his first whom he never granted rank or honors in feeling of dissatisfaction at the dry con- any degree equal to his merits.-BOTTA. gratulations he had received, said to the First To show you the confidence I had in the Consul, “I have just placed the crown on disposition of the army, I need only to re- your head.” I did not hear this and can count to you an event which will be conse- not vouch for the truth of its having been crated by history. Five or six days after my said. I could only have ascertained that fact landing at Cannes, the advance guard of my through Bonaparte, and of course I could not, little army met the advance of a division with propriety, remind him of a thing which marching from Grenoble against me. Cam- must have been very offensive to him. How bronne, who commanded my troops, wanted ever, whether true or not, the observation to address them, but they would not listen to was circulated about, verbally and in writ. him. They also refused to receive Raoul, ing, and Bonaparte knew it. Hence the small whom I sent afterwards. When I was in- degree of favor shown to Kellermann, who formed of this I went to them myself, with a was not made a general of division on the few of my guard, with their arms reversed, field of battle as a reward for his charge at and called out, “The first soldier who pleases Marengo. M. de la Forêt, the Postmaster- may come forward and kill his emperor.” It General, sometimes “transacted business” operated like an electric shock and "Vive with the First Consul. The nature of this l'Empereur!” resounded through the ranks; secret business may be easily guessed at. On the division and my guard fraternized, all the occasion of one of their interviews the joined me, and advanced together to Gren- First Consul saw a letter from Kellermann oble.—O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. to Lasalle, which contained the following “Was the emperor a kind-hearted man ?” passage: “Would you believe it, my friend, asked an American scholar of Marshal Soult. that Bonaparte has not made me a general of "He was indeed,” exclaimed the marshal; division although I have just placed the "you might disappoint him time and again, crown on his head ?" The letter was sealed and he would always overlook it if he could again and sent to its address, but Bonaparte find the least excuse for doing so."-Atlan- never forgot its contents.-BOURRIENNE. tic Monthly, March, 1869. This battle (Marengo], which changed The Russian Campaign the lot of Europe for fourteen years, was The Cossacks attacked our foragers at rather gained by the French than by Bona- the very gates of Moscow and the peasants parte, the valor of the soldiery having re- despatched all marauders they could find trieved the mistake of the commander. The straggling. The King of Naples, whose horses victory was principally owing, first to Cara | had been nearly destroyed, and whose men St. Cyr, by his having taken and kept Cas had been for some time reduced to eat horse- tel Ceriolo; to Victor, by his obstinate de- | flesh, sent every day to the emperor, to beg fense of Marengo; to Boudet, by his firm res that he would either make peace or give or- sistance of the Hungarian body; and, finally ders for retiring. But Napoleon would see and above all, to the able and gallant Keller- | nothing, would hear nothing; and his gen. Napoleon I. 454 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES erals only received the most extraordinary expected that Montbrun would be arrested orders in answer to their remonstrances. At and court-martialed. But that same day he one time it was to reestablish order in Mog was told to resume the command of his corps cow and protect the peasants, that they might and nothing more was heard of the incident. be induced to bring provisions to the market, It would seem that, after the explosion had at the very time when the neighboring coun taken place, Murat, as he rode away with try was ravaged by these same peasants in Napoleon, entered into a frank explanation arms against ourselves. Again, directions and so saved Montbrun by doing, when al- were given to purchase ten thousand horses, most too late, what ought to have been done in a country where neither horses nor inhabi at once.-ATTERIDGE. tants any longer existed. Next, we were told The haughty and imperious spirit of Na- that we were to pass the winter in a sacked poleon sank not under all these miseries. He city, where even in the month of October we affected, in so far as was possible, not to see were dying from hunger. Then came the them. He still issued his orders as if his order for each regiment to provide itself with army, in all its divisions, were entire, and shoes and winter clothing, and when the com sent bulletins to Paris announcing a succes. manding officers remonstrated on the want of sion of victories. When his officers came to cloth and leather for materials, they were inform him of some new calamity, he dis- told that they had only to look and they missed them abruptly, saying, "Why will would find. As if to render the latter order you disturb my tranquillity? I desire to still more impracticable, further pillage was know no particulars. Why will you deprive severely prohibited and the imperial guard me of my tranquillity ?"-LOCKHART. was confined to the Kremlin.-FEZENSAC. The emperor made an oft-quoted joke The delay in starting had not been great. I during the awful retreat from Russia. See- but it was sufficient to give the last of the ing one of his officers wrapped up in a mag- Russian rear guard time to slip away after nificent fur coat, he called to him, laughing, firing the magazines. As Murat rode into “Where did you steal that?” “Your maj- Wilna the smoke and glare of a great con esty, I bought it.” “Yes; you bought it from flagration told him he had come too late. some one who was asleep.”—IDA ST. ELME. The emperor was furious when he heard of the failure to surprise the place. He rode up Planning for War to Montbrun, who was at the head of his If I am compelled to undertake another corps, reproached him with disobedience of war, it will certainly be for some great po- his orders, and told him he thought of send litical interest, but it will also be in the ing him away to the line of communications interest of my finances. Have I not always as a man who was good for nothing in the restored them by war? Was it not thus field. Montbrun tried to explain. "Be silent, that Rome conquered the riches of the world? sir," shouted the angry emperor. “But, sire, -MOLLIEN, quoting Napoleon. - ," began the general. “Silence!” repeated Napoleon had some little maneuver pieces Napoleon. This was hard treatment for the made. They were little bits of mahogany of veteran leader of cuirassiers, who had fought different colors and lengths. The tops were his way up from the ranks in the republican fretted and these pieces represented battal. army of the Rhine and since had led many a ions, regiments and divisions. When the em- charge in Germany, Italy and Spain. Murat peror wanted to try some new combinations was riding with the emperor. Montbrun of troops, some new military evolutions, he looked at him with a silent appeal for him made use of these pieces of wood, which he to speak. But the king of Naples had too set up on the carpet of the floor so as to give much selfish vanity to intervene and take the himself a larger field for maneuver.-MÉNE- blame on himself. Napoleon continued his VAL. scolding tirade, but Montbrun had now come It is truly astonishing in what a degree to the end of his patience. Suddenly he drew of ignorance Napoleon contrived to keep all his long cuirassier sword, reversed it, caught France. We found people who had never it by the blade, whirled it on high and, let heard of the battle of Trafalgar; and the ting it go, sent it whirling through the air south of France could hardly believe their fifty feet away. Then putting spurs to his eyes when they saw us come down the Pyre- horse he called out, “You may all go to the nees, but he kept the rest of the world in devil!” Napoleon was struck dumb. Pale the same ignorance of what was going on in with rage he turned his horse and rode away | France. I confess the first light I ever re- in silence, followed by his staff. Every one | ceived on that subject was from Faber's 455 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT book, which was reviewed in the Quarterly | ebullition of anger. “How on earth,” he de- Reviewo, and which I think you sent me. It manded, “could Fouché allow such a book to was a most able and, at the time, valuable be printed? Why, it is calculated to teach work. It has been doubted whether there my system to all my enemies. It must be was such a person as Faber, though nobody seized and I will at once take steps to pre- doubted the truth of the facts; but there cer vent its further circulation." Maret pointed tainly was such a person as Faber himself. | out to him that it was impossible to suppress He was a German or Alsatian, who had got the book, as its publishers were sure to have to St. Petersburg. I think I have heard distributed many dozen copies among their from some one that they knew him there. friends as presents, while another hundred or The book was of considerable use to me when two must have found their way to Germany I entered France and, as far as I had an op -a country with a greedy appetite for such portunity of putting it to the test, I found works. After a few moments' reflection the it true. Posterity will hardly believe the suc emperor said: "Perhaps I attach too much cess and extent of that system of darkness importance to this publication. The old gen- which Bonaparte spread over France, but it erals who command against me read nothing was so complete that even I, who had been for and will not profit by its lessons, while young so many years in contact with his armies, soldiers who read it will not be trusted with and was now for months on his frontier, was commands for many years to come.” The glad to glean from any precarious and hum work in question was the “Traite des Grand ble sources some knowledge of the real state Operations Militaires,” written by Antoine of the interior.-CROKER, quoting Wellington. Henri Jomini when he was in his twenty- Before entering battle the emperor always second year. ordered that, in case he was wounded, every At the beginning of October, 1806, Ney's possible measure should be taken to con- corps was ordered to proceed towards Nu- ceal it from his troops. “Who knows," said remberg, and Jomini, to his great astonish- he, “what terrible confusion might be pro ment, received instructions to repair to May- duced by such news? To my life is attached ence and there to await the arrival of Na- the destiny of a great empire. Remember poleon. On reaching Mayence he learned that this, gentlemen; and if I am wounded, let no the emperor had also just arrived, when he one know it, if possible. If I am slain, try hastened to present himself at the archbish- to win the battle without me; there will be op's palace, where Napoleon had established time enough to tell it afterwards.”—Con his headquarters. He was at once admitted STANT. to the emperor's presence, who, after com- Napoleon did all in his power to mysti 1 plimenting him upon his treatise, informed fy the battle of Marengo. After writing him that he was to remain in his suite. Jo- three varying and false accounts, he caused mini represented to him that his horses and all the original documents to be destroyed. equipages were with Ney's corps, and re- Quarterly Review, April, 1870. quested four days' leave to fetch them, add- One day, early in 1806, the emperor Na- ing that he would rejoin him at Bamberg. poleon ... turned to Maret, who had not “At Bamberg," rejoined the emperor; "and yet become Duke of Bassano, exclaiming, how do you know that I am going there?” "You have nothing to do; come, read me a Jomini answered, “Inasmuch as your maj- few pages from that work sent to me at esty intends, I presume, to execute the same Austerlitz by Ney and written by one of his maneuver against the Prussian left that was officers." Maret took up the book with re- executed by you against the Austrian right gret, for, as he afterwards confessed to its at Ulm, you must of necessity go through author, he could no more understand it than Bamberg.” The emperor replied testily that if it had been the cabalistic volume of a ma- such was his intention, but charged Jomini gician. Before he had read many pages the to disclose the secret to no one. From this emperor stopped him with the ejaculation, moment Napoleon understood Jomini's geni- "Don't tell me that the age is not advancing. us and determined to make the best use of it. Here, for instance, is a young chef de battal- But the emperor's ingrained and deep-seated ion and, what is worse, a Swiss, who teaches jealousy, which made it impossible for him us what no professor ever made me learn, and long to endure contact with a mind capable what, moreover, very few generals under | in some measure of fathoming his own, could stand.” As Maret proceeded with his reading hardly fail to expose Jomini sooner or later the astonishment of the emperor knew no to his displeasure.--C. F. CROMIE, Fortnight. bounds. Presently it was succeeded by an | ly Review, November, 1880. Napoleon I. 456 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The other day I was watching a demi- | emperor had been to a grand review of his brigade filing by; a light infantryman Guard; they were out of humor because they stepped up to my horse. “General," says he, had no share in the victory at Jena, and the "we must do so and so." "Rascal," I an- emperor, unwilling to give them the least swered, "shut your mouth, will you ?" He pain, had been to visit them; this caused his promptly vanished; I sent for him in vain for absence from Berlin. On his return he was what he had said was precisely what I had surprised to find Duroc waiting for him given orders to do.—NAPOLEON to the Direc with an air of great impatience. Duroc had tory, June 1, 1796. been touched with the despair of the Princess of Hatzfeld; since his interview with her The Hatzfeld Episode he had seen two of her husband's judges and The Prince of Hatzfeld, it was known, had learned that there was no hope for him. had remained at Berlin after the departure He requested an immediate audience with the of the king and queen of Prussia, and it was emperor and followed him into his closet. quite natural that a man of his importance, "You have come to tell me that the town of if he chose to reside under such circum Berlin is in revolt; is it not so? I am not sur- stances at Berlin, should be strictly watched. prised, but they will have a terrible example It was therefore rather simple of him to put to-morrow to cure them of the mania of re- into the post a letter for the king, in which volting.” Duroc saw that the Prince of Hatz- he gave account of all that was passing in feld was in the worst case possible. He was Berlin, and also of the movements, number | convinced that the only successful advocate and sentiments of the French troops. I do in his behalf would be the princess herself ; not wish to exculpate the prince's accusers, he obtained permission to introduce her and but certainly he had committed himself very went to fetch her. The unfortunate wife, on unwisely, and I would not aver that in our being brought into the presence of the man own France, in the year of grace 1814, we who could kill or spare her husband, had only were not in the same manner subjected to the power to throw herself at Napoleon's feet. He rigorous examination of General Sacken. The raised her immediately and spoke to her with emperor, on reading this letter of the Prince the utmost kindness. Madame de Hatzfeld of Hatzfeld, flew into one of those fits of sobbed convulsively and could only repeat, rage which acquired for him the reputation as it were mechanically, “Ah, sire, my hus- of being the most passionate man under the band is innocent." The emperor made no an- sun. He instantly gave orders that a mili swer, but went to his escritoire and, taking tary commission should be assembled, that from it the prince's letter, held it towards his the Prince of Hatzfeld should be brought be wife in silence. She looked at the unfortu- fore it and that it should make its report be nate paper, then burst into tears and, strik- fore it separated. On hearing this dreadful ing her forehead with her clasped hands, ex- news, his poor wife, almost out of her wits, claimed in consternation, “Oh, yes; it is his suddenly remembered that Marshal Duroc, writing.” The emperor was affected, it ap- on his different journeys to Berlin, had al pears, by the frankness which in the hour of ways been hospitably received and entertained peril acknowledged the whole truth to him, by the prince and herself. She quitted her thus leaving him all the merit of the affair. house in a state bordering on distraction, | He would not refuse it, but, advancing to the sought in vain for Duroc, but learned that princess, put the fatal letter into her hands, the emperor was at Charlottenburg and Du saying with a graciousness which doubled roc not with him. She continued her pursuit the value of the favor, "Make what use you and at length found Duroc, who was affected please of this paper, which is the only evi- by her distress. He was convinced that the dence against your husband; when it no Prince of Hatzfeld was lost if the princess longer exists I shall have no power to con- could not see the emperor that very day. He demn him," and he pointed to the fire which soothed her as well as he was able, knowing was blazing in the chimney. The letter was the danger her husband stood in, but he also instantly burned and its flame was a bonfire knew the emperor: he knew that under simi- of rejoicing for the deliverance of the prince. lar circumstances his heart was capable of --DUCHESS D’ABRANTÈS. great and magnanimous sentiments, and he believed that in the present state of affairs M. de Hatzfeld had transmitted reports an act of clemency would be of as much value relative to military affairs which were quite as the addition of a hundred thousand men unconnected with his mission. He had evi. to his army. “You shall see the emperor," dently been acting the part of a spy. ... said he to the princess; “rely upon me.” The Napoleon was left alone with Berthier and 457 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT he directed him to sit down and write an order by which M. de Hatzfeld was to be ar- raigned before a military commission. The major-general made some representations in his favor. “Your majesty will not for so trivial an offense shoot a man who is con- nected with the first families in Berlin. The thing is impossible; you will not think of it.” The emperor grew more angry. Neufchâtel persisted in his intercession; Napoleon lost all patience and Berthier quitted the room. I was called in. I had overheard the scene which had just taken place. I was afraid to hazard the least reflection. I was in a state of agony. Besides the repugnance I felt in being instrumental in so harsh a measure, it was necessary to write as rapidly as the em- peror spoke, and I must confess I never pos- sessed that talent. He dictated to me the following order: “Our cousin Marshal Da- vout will appoint a military commission, con- sisting of seven colonels of his staff, of which he will be the president, to try the Prince of Hatzfeld on a charge of treason and espi- onage. The sentence must be pronounced and executed before six o'clock in the evening." It was about noon. Napoleon directed me to despatch the order immediately and to send with it the Prince of Hatzfeld's letter. The latter part of the instruction I did not, how- ever, obey. . . . As I was going out to give the necessary orders I was informed that the Princess of Hatzfeld had fainted in the ante- chamber and that she had previously ex- pressed a wish to speak to me. I went to her. I did not conceal from her the dig. pleasure of Napoleon. I told her that we were going to ride out on horseback and di- rected her to repair to Prince Ferdinand and to interest him in favor of her husband. I know not whether she did so, but on our ar- rival at the palace we found her in one of the corridors, and she threw herself in tears at the feet of the emperor, to whom I announced her name. The princess was in a state of pregnancy. Napoleon was moved by her situation and directed her to proceed to the castle. He at the same time desired me to write to Davout to order the trial suspended - he thought M. de Hatzfeld had departed. Napoleon returned to the palace where Mad- ame de Hatzfeld was waiting for him. He desired her to enter the salon. I was present. “Your husband, madame," said he, "has brought himself into an unfortunate scrape. According to our laws he deserves to be sen- tenced to death. General Rapp, give me his letter. Here, madame, read this." The lady trembled exceedingly. Napoleon immediately took the letter from her hand, tore it and threw the fragments into the fire. "I have no other proof against the Prince of Ilatzfeld, madame; therefore he is at liberty.” He or- dered me immediately to release him froin his confinement at headquarters. I acknowledged that I had not sent him there, but he did not reproach me; he even seemed pleased at what I had done.-RAPP. We learned later from her [Princess Hatzield] and from Napoleon himself how she had obtained his pardon. Received with every consideration, her first idea had been to de- fend her husband by protestations of his in- nocence, “Being a daughter of the Minister Schulenberg, one of Napoleon's greatest ene- mies, the emperor doubtless,” she said, "want- ed to revenge himself upon her father through the man whom he had chosen for a son-in- law.” This supposition may have seemed offensive, but Napoleon took no notice of it; his only answer was to call for the in- criminating despatch which he made her read, and of which he constituted her the judge after explaining its consequences; but, great- ly touched by her extreme distress, he has- tened to add, pointing to the fire before which she was seated, “Well, as you hold in your hands the proof of the crime, destroy it, and thus disarm the severity of our martial laws." Ile had hardly finished speaking, before the happy princess had thrown the letter into the very heart of the fire. The emperor then proceeded to reassure her with a promise of his protection and despatched her immediate. ly to her husband, whom he had enabled her to save from his own hands by this ingenious clemency.-SÉGUR. I have received your letter in which you seem to reproach me for speaking ill of wom- en. It is true that I dislike female intriguers above all things. I am used to kind, gentle and conciliatory women. I love them and if they have spoiled me it is not my fault, but yours. However, you will see that I have done an act of kindness to one deserving wom- an. I allude to Madame de Hatzfeld. When I showed her her husband's letter, she stood weeping, and in a tone of mingled grief and ingenuousness said, "It is indeed his writ- ing.” This went to my heart and I said, “Well, madame, throw the letter into the fire and then I shall have no proof against your husband.” She burned the letter and was restored to happiness. Her husband now is safe; two hours later and he would have been lost. You see, therefore, that I like women who are simple, gentle and amiable; because they alone resemble you.--Letter Napoleon I. 458 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES from Napoleon to Josephine, November 6, in his honor, but he declined the offer. When 1806. I observed that it must be agreeable to him It was said, however, at the timo, that to see his fellow citizens eagerly running after the emperor, who had made up his mind to him, he replied, “Bah, the people would crowd be severely just, perceived that the incrimi as fast if I were going to the scaffold.”— nating letter was of an anterior date to that BOURRIENNE. at which, according to the usages of war, it The emperor, when at the zenith of his could have been considered as an act of espial, power, once asked those surrounding him and that the whole scene was then arranged what would be said after his death. They for dramatic effect. Another account was all hastened to answer in phrases of com- that Madame de Hatzfeld herself, on glancing pliment or of flattery. But he interrupted over the letter, pointed out the date to the them by exclaiming, “What! You are at a emperor, who immediately exclaimed, “Oh, loss to know what people will say? They will then, burn it.”—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, note say Ouf!”—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, preface by by Paul de Rémusat. Paul de Rémusat. The Abbé de Pradt relates that on one IV occasion, after a violent scene, the emperor MISCELLANEOUS ANECDOTES came to him and said, "You thought me ter- Bonaparte was deficient in education and ribly angry? Undeceive yourself; with me in manners; it seemed as if he must have anger never goes beyond this." And he been destined to live either in a tent where passed his hand across his throat, thus indi- all men are equal, or upon a throne where cating that his passion never rose high everything is permitted. He did not know enough to disturb his head.—MADAME DE how either to enter or leave a room; he did RÉMUSAT, note by Paul de Rémusat. not know how to make a bow, how to rise, or Talleyrand told Alvanley that just be- how to sit down.—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. fore the campaign against Austria he came One of my comrades who lodged above into the room where Napoleon was talking me unluckily took a fancy to learn to play to the Russian ambassador in a fit of mad- the horn and made such a hideous noise as ness, stamping and jumping on the chairs, completely disturbed the studies of those who and performing other freaks. When the Rus. were within hearing. We met each other sian ambassador went out of the room, Tal. one day on the stairs. "Are you not tired of leyrand asked Napoleon why he was in such practising the horn?" said I. “Not at all,” transports of rage. Napoleon told him that he replied. “At any rate, you tire other peo- he had put on that “mien” to make the Rus- ple.” “I am sorry for it.” “It would be bet- sian write to his court and advise it to keep ter if you went to practise elsewhere." "I to its neutrality. "I never was cooler in am master of my own apartment.” “Per my life,” said Napoleon; "feel my pulse," haps you may be taught to entertain a doubt which Talleyrand did and found the pulse upon that point.” “I scarcely think any one quite as usual, which was very slow.-LORD will be bold enough to teach me that.” A BROUGHTON. challenge ensued, but before the antagonists “When,” said Napoleon, “I was at Tilsit met the affair was submitted to the considera with the emperor Alexander and the king of tion of a council of the cadets, and it was de Prussia, I was the most ignorant of the three termined that the one should practise the in military affairs. These two sovereigns, horn at a greater distance and that the other especially the king of Prussia, were complete- should be more accommodating.-LAS CASES, ly au fait as to the number of buttons there quoting Napoleon. ought to be in front of a jacket, how many The conqueror and ruler of Italy, and behind, and the manner in which the skirts now under men for whom he had no respect, ought to be cut. Not a tailor in the army ... said to me one day: “The people of knew better than King Frederick how many Paris do not remember anything. Were I to measures of cloth it took to make a jacket. remain here long, doing nothing, I should be In fact,” continued he, laughing, “I was no- lost. In this great Babylon one reputation body in comparison to them. They continual. displaces another. Let me be seen but three ly tormented me about matters belonging to times at the theater and I shall no longer tailors, of which I was entirely ignorant, al- excite attention; so I shall go there but sel- though, in order not to affront them, I an- dom.” When he went he occupied a box swered just as gravely as if the fate of an shaded with curtains. The manager of the army depended upon the cut of a jacket. opera wished to get up a special performance | When I went to see the King of Prussia, in- 459 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT stead of a library I found that he had a The general order of his household was large room, like an arsenal, furnished with to have cutlets and roast chicken ready at all shelves and pegs, on which were hung fifty hours, a rule which was carefully observed by or sixty jackets of different patterns. Every his maître d'hôtel, Dunand, who had been a day he changed his fashion and put on a dif celebrated cook. One day, when Napoleon ferent one. He attached more importance to returned from the Council of State in one of this than was necessary for the salvation of his worst tempers, a dinner, comprising his a kingdom.”—O’MEARA. favorite dishes, was served up, and Napoleon, Bonaparte well knew the secret motive who had fasted since daybreak, took his seat. which induced Cobentzel, the emperor's chief But he had scarcely partaken of a mouthful envoy, to protract and multiply discussions when "apparently some inopportune thought of which he by this time was weary. One or recollection stung his brain to madness," day, in this ambassador's own chamber, Na- and, receding from the table without rising from his chair, he uplifted his foot and poleon suddenly changed his demeanor. “You refuse to accept our ultimatum," said he, dash went the table, crash went the dinner taking in his hands a beautiful vase of por- and the emperor, springing up, paced the celain, which stood on the mantelpiece near floor with rapid strides. Dunand looked on him. The Austrian bowed. “It is well,” and, quick as the wreck was cleared away, said Napoleon, "but, mark me, within two an exact duplicate of the dinner appeared as months I shall shatter Austria like this if by magic, and its presence was quietly an- potsherd.” So saying he dashed the vase on nounced in the customary “Your majesty is the floor in a thousand pieces and moved to served.” Napoleon felt the delicacy and said, the door. Cobentzel followed him and made “Many thanks, my dear Dunand,” with one of submissions which induced him once more to his inimitable smiles and showed that the resume negotiations.-LOCKHART. hurricane had blown over.--THISELTON-DYER. You were greatly offended with me for Napoleon had a gun in his study with which he constantly stood at the window and having called you a nation of shopkeepers. shot the rare fowls which he kept in the ponds Had I meant by this that you were a nation of the park. Like all young Corsicans who of cowards, you would have had reason to be do not know how to amuse themselves in displeased, even though it was ridiculous and contrary to historical facts; but no such thing their island and who pass their time in break- ing and spoiling the benches and trees in the was intended. I meant that you were a na- public gardens of Bastia, Bonaparte, notwith- tion of merchants, and that all your riches standing his superhuman labors, felt the need and grand resources arose from commerce, of destroying something; he was always cut- which is true. What else constitutes the ting or slashing the arm of his chair or the riches of England ?-O’MEARA, quoting Napo- leather on his writing table with his penknife. leon. As we can easily imagine this mattered little An old Jacobin, one of Bonaparte's con- to his wife, but she was really grieved when demned spirits, was employed to speak to the she saw that her husband was possessed with judges, to induce them to condemn Moreau to such a mania for destruction that he could death. “That is necessary,” said he to them, never enter the hothouses of Malmaison with “to the consideration due to the emperor, out cutting down or uprooting one of the who caused him to be arrested; but you ought valuable plants which were growing there. to make the less scruple in consenting to it CHAPTAL. as the emperor is resolved to pardon him.” Among other destructive habits he had "And who will enable us to pardon our- that of stirring the wood fire with his foot, selves, if we cover ourselves with such in- thereby scorching his shoes and boots. This famy?” replied one of the judges [Clavier] generally happened when he was in a pas. whose name I am not at liberty to mention, sion; at such times he would violently kick for fear of exposing him. General Moreau the blazing logs in the nearest fireplace. was condemned to two years' imprisonment.- MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. MADAME DE STAËL. Napoleon had a habit of slapping a per At the Tuileries I noticed the opinion son on the shoulder, pinching his cheek or that the emperor need only appoint a review pulling his ear, and these mock endearments or hunt for a certain day and that day would were not always bestowed in the most gentle be pleasant. Whenever that happened a great manner, nor were they confined to the stern | deal was said about it, while silence was kept er sex.—BOURRIENNE, corroborated by numer | about rainy or foggy weather. . . . It was ous other writers. | impossible to deny that it rained during the 461 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT had been nearer to death than ever before. or of giving his master some healthful pas. Madame Bonaparte took the matter more time with the opportunity of distinguishing seriously. In her drawing room she said: himself. But how can I tell it and be be- “When Bonaparte fell I thought from his lieved? All these rabbits, which should have closed eyes that he was dead. He has prom tried in vain, even by scattering themselves, ised me not to drive a four-in-hand again. to escape the shots which the most august We have long been warning him against his hand had destined for them, suddenly collect- recklessness. He always frightens us when ed, first in knots, then in a body; instead of he drives. Corvisart has been called in but having recourse to useless flight, they all does not think it necessary to let blood. The faced about and in an instant the whole First Consul is anxious that the news of his phalanx flung itself upon Napoleon. The accident should not get abroad.”—THIBA surprise was unbounded, as was Berthier's DEAU. wrath. At once he assembled a force of He (Napoleon III.] told them a story, coachmen with long whips and, proud of which, although it has not been mentioned having found a decisive opportunity of pro- by any of the great captain's biographers, is testing against a cruel word which had es. unquestionably true. In those days the stag, caped the First Consul on the field of Maren. wherever brought to bay, was left for the go—"Berthier is not the stuff of which they emperor to kill. One day, however, the em- say brave men are made”-he darted forward peror was not to be found and the master of at their head. The rabbits put to flight, Na- the staghounds finished the animal with a poleon was delivered; and they were looking hunting knife. Just then the emperor came on the incident as a delay-comical, no in sight; they hurriedly got the dead stag on doubt, but well over-when, by a wheel in the its legs, supporting it with branches, etc., and three bodies to right and left, the intrepid handed the emperor the "carabine of honor," rabbits turned the emperor's flank and at- as it is called. The emperor fired; of course, tacked him frantically in the rear, refused to the stag tumbled over, but at the same time quit their hold, piled themselves up between there was a piteous whine from one of the his legs until they made him stagger, and hounds which had been shot through the forced the conqueror of conquerors, fairly ex- head The emperor, who was on horseback, hausted, to retreat and leave them in pos- turned around, utterly unconscious of the session of the field, only thankful that some mischief he had done, and saying to one of of them had not succeeded in scaling the his aides-de-camp, "After all, I am not such rumble of the emperor's carriage and getting a bad shot as one might think.”—VANDAM, themselves borne in triumph to Paris.- New Review, October, 1892. THIEBAULT. All through the summer he shot and An arrangement was made so that all hunted and every one racked his brains to letters sent by ambassadors or other diplo- vary his amusement in that line. Like a matic characters, all the household and all good courtier, Alexander Berthier was not persons connected with foreign affairs, were behind. He had the idea of giving the em- sent to a secret department of the post office peror some rabbit shooting in a park which at Paris, no matter in what part of France he possessed just out of Paris and had the they were put in. All letters or despatches, joy of having his offer accepted. The prop- in like manner, for foreign courts or minis- erty possessed everything calculated to make ters, were sent to this office, where they were the sport agreeable except rabbits, but rab- opened and deciphered. The writers some- bits are common enough, and the marshal, times made use of several different ciphers, being as adjutant-general accustomed to think not continuing the same for more than ten of everything and provide, considered that he lines, in order to prevent their being under- was right as could be when he ordered a thou- stood. This, however, did not answer, as in sand of these animals to be turned out in the order to decipher the most ingenious and diffi- park on the morning of that day. An order cult, it was only necessary to have fifty pages of that kind is not executed by halves and of the same cipher, which from the extent of not a rabbit of the thousand was wanting. the correspondence was soon to be had. So At length all was ready; the emperor had clever were the agents employed, and so soon been expected, the emperor had arrived, a did they read the ciphers, that latterly only splendid breakfast had been served. The ac fifty louis were paid for the discovery of the cessories made way for the principal busi. means of deciphering a new one. By opening ness; the sport began and Berthier was in all the letters addressed to diplomatic per- high delight at having been granted the hon. | sons, the post-otlice police got acquainted with Napoleon I. 462 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES their correspondents, to whom all letters ad passed through Lyons. March 14—The usurp. dressed subsequently were treated in a simi: er is directing his steps towards Dijon, but lar manner. . . . Several of them, especial. the brave and loyal Burgundians have risen ly those of Bernstorf, were full of injurious en masse and surrounded him on all sides. reflections upon me, censure on my conduct March 18—Bonaparte is only sixty leagues and fabricated conversations with me. How from the capital; he has been fortunate often have I laughed within myself to see enough to escape the hands of his pursuers. them licking the dust from under my feet at March 19—Bonaparte is advancing with my levee, after having read in the morning rapid steps but he will never enter Paris. the bêtises they had written of me to their March 20_Napoleon will to-morrow be under sovereign. ... This arrangement was not our ramparts. March 21—The emperor is at an invention of mine. It was first begun by Fontainebleau. March 22–His imperial and Louis XIV., and some of the grandchildren royal majesty yesterday evening arrived at of the agents employed by him filled in my the Tuileries amidst the joyful acclamations time situations which had been transmitted of his devoted and faithful subjects.-Notes to them by their fathers. But Castlereagh and Queries, November 12, 1859. does the same in London. All letters to and The following is a curious circumstance from diplomatic persons which pass through relative to the senate of Milan. In the the post office are opened and the contents height of our disasters that body sent a depu. forwarded to him or some other of your tation to congratulate “Napoleon the Great" ministers, and they must be aware that a on the prospect of his triumphing over all his similar practise is followed in France.- enemies. The deputation on its way received O'MEARA, quoting Napoleon. intelligence of the siege of Paris and had Reading letters taken from the post of. just time to get back to Milan to be appoint- fice needs a separate department. The men ed to congratulate the Allies on the "down- employed in it are unknown to one another; 1 fall of the tyrant."-BOURRIENNE. there is an engraver attached to it, who keeps all kinds of seals always ready. Letters in cipher, no matter in what language they THE HUSBAND may be, are always deciphered. All languages Josephine are translated. It would be impossible to in. Appointed General-in-Chief of the Army vent a cipher which could not be found out by of the Interior, Bonaparte had been charged the help of forty pages of specimens of de- by the government to take all necessary mea- ciphered despatches which cost me six hun sures for maintaining public tranquillity. One dred thousand francs. Louis XIV. invented of his orders to this effect was to deprive the the system; Louis XV. used it to find out the inhabitants of Paris of their arms. One love affairs of his courtiers.-GOURGAUD. morning Lemarois, one of his aides-de-camp, As a member of the Institute he frequent came in, followed by a boy fourteen years of ly attended the Sunday receptions, and it age, who vehemently reclaimed a sword the happened several times that the emperor, who police had taken from him. Addressing had come to recognize his face, approached Bonaparte, Eugène said to him: “General, him almost mechanically and asked his name. give me back my father's sword, my sole One day Grétry, who was tired of this per | inheritance, and to which I cling more than petual question, and perhaps a little annoyed to life.” Struck with the generous sentiment at not having produced a more lasting impres. of the boy, Bonaparte had his sword at once sion, answered to the emperor's rudely ut restored to him. A few days afterwards tered, “And you! Who are you?” in a sharp, the general was relating this example of filial impatient tone, “Sire, I am Grétry still.” piety at a party at Barras's, at which Jose- Ever afterwards the emperor recognized him phine happened to be present. She was in- perfectly.—MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. troduced to Bonaparte, who congratulated her In 1815 the French newspapers announced on having such a son and was on his side the departure of Bonaparte from Elba, his charmed by her grace and amiability. progress through France and his entry into FOURMENSTRAUX. Paris in the following manner: March 9 October 27, 1816.—A boy of twelve or The Anthropophagus has quitted his den. thirteen years old presented himself to me March 10-The Corsican ogre has landed at and entreated that his father's sword (who Cape Juan March 11--The tiger has ar had been general of the republic) should be rived at Gap. March 12–The monster slept returned. I was so touched by this affec- at Grenoble. March 13—The tyrant has | tionate request that I ordered it to be given Napoleon I. 464 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES busybody, he knew, or he believed he knew, poor Mademoiselle Despeaux, armed with her all Josephine's jewels. The pearls were bandboxes. “Who are you?” he angrily ex- therefore condemned to remain more than a claimed. When, trembling all over, she had fortnight in Madame Bonaparte's casket with declared her name, he rushed like a mad- out her daring to use them. What a punish man into his wife's chamber, gesticulating ment for a woman! At length her vanity and crying out, “Who sent for this woman? overcame her prudence and, being unable to Who brought her here? I insist upon know- conceal the jewels any longer, she one day ing it.” Every one of us made an excuse said to me, “Bourrienne, there is to be a large for herself and the fact was that nobody had party here to-morrow and I absolutely must written to summon Mademoiselle Despeaux, wear my pearls. But you know he will grum who had come of her own accord. Knowing ble if he notices them. I beg, Bourrienne, that the empress was ill, she had fancied that you will keep near me. If he asks that she might want some pretty negligée me where I got my pearls I must tell him cap becoming to her delicate state. Our de- without hesitation that I have had them for nials, however, only added fuel to the em- a long time.” Everything happened as Jose peror's rage. He shouted like a maniac, “I phine feared and hoped. Bonaparte, on see will know who has done this. I will throw ing the pearls, did not fail to say to Madame, you all into prison.” Now, at the moment "What is it you have got there? Where did of all this fury the empress was bound hand you get these pearls? How fine you are to and foot (that is to say, her coiffeur was day! I think I never saw them before." dressing her hair and she was taking a foot "Oh, mon Dieu, you have seen them a dozen bath). Women, hairdresser and all, instant- times. It is the necklace which the Cisalpine ly took flight and I was left alone in a republic gave me, and which I now wear in small cabinet adjoining the chamber. I con- my hair.” “But, I think- ” “Stay; ask fess that if I had obeyed my first impulse Bourrienne; he will tell you.” “Well, Bour I should have decamped like the rest, but, rienne, what do you say to it? Do you reflecting upon the situation in which the recollect the necklace ?” “Yes, general, I empress found herself, I would not leave her recollect very well seeing them before.” This alone. The emperor saw me, but did not say was not untrue, for Madame Bonaparte had a word to me. A few moments afterwards previously shown them to me. Besides, she he came hastily out of her bedroom, nor had had received a pearl necklace from the Cisal: the empress been able to calm him. As for pine republic, but of incomparably less value herself, she was trembling and pale, and I than that purchased from Foncier. Josephine found her countenance sorely troubled. Such performed her part with amazing dexterity was the scene of which I was a witness; and and I did not act amiss the character of now for the consequences. · As soon as the accomplice assigned to me in the little com emperor reached his own cabinet he sent to edy. Bonaparte had no suspicions. When I summon the Duke of Rovigo (Savary) whom saw the easy confidence with which Madame he ordered instantly to have Mademoiselle Bonaparte got through this scene, I could Despeaux arrested by the gendarmes and then not help recollecting Suzanne's reflection of shut up in prison. The duke did all that he the readiness with which well-bred ladies can could to prevent the emperor from commit- tell falsehoods without seeming to do so. ting such an act of injustice, but his repre- BOURRIENNE. sentations and prayers were in vain. The emperor was obstinate in his will the duke On another day I was witness of a scene forced to obey. Poor Mademoiselle Des- which I should be tempted to call ridiculous, peaux was arrested almost as soon as she got were it not for the respect I owe to their outside of the palace and carried to the majesties' memories. I will report it as I greffe (a sort of police station), where she saw it; the reader will characterize it as passed the night. In the meantime the he thinks fit. The empress had been slightly empress, having been informed of this ar- indisposed; one of the most famous dealers rest, repaired to the emperor, who the next in fashions of the day, Mademoiselle Des- morning revoked his order and restored peaux, had come to offer her services to her Mademoiselle Despeaux to liberty.-VILLE- majesty. She was waiting in the blue salon MAREST. which joined the bedroom until she should be called for. At that moment the emperor He informed us that, having one morning came down to see the empress, and the very broken unexpectedly into Josephine's morn- first person that struck his eye in the blue ing circle, he found a celebrated milliner, salon through which he had to pass was | whom he had expressly forbidden to go near 465 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT the empress, as she was ruining her with ex. state all; the result will be the same; you travagant demands. “My unlooked for pres | will hear but once the disagreeable things he ence created great dismay in the academic will say to you; by reservations you will sitting. I gave some orders unperceived and renew them incessantly.” Josephine said: on the lady's departure she was seized and “I can never tell all; it is impossible. Do carried to Bicêtre. A great outcry was me the service to keep secret what I say to raised among the higher circles of Paris; it you. I owe, I believe, 1,200,000 francs, but was said that my conduct was disgraceful. I wish to confess only 600,000; I will con- It soon became the fashion to visit the milli- | tract no more debts and will pay the rest ner in her confinement and there was daily little by little out of my savings.” . . . After a file of carriages at the gate of the prison. a quarter of an hour's further discussion on The police informed me of the fact. 'All the subject I was obliged to yield to her the better,' said I; 'but I hope she is not earnest solicitation and promised to mention treated with severity, not confined in a dun only 600,000 to the First Consul. The anger geon. No, sire; she has a suite of apart and ill humor of Bonaparte may be imagined. ments and a drawing room!''Oh, well, let He strongly suspected that his wife was dis- her be; if this act is pronounced tyrannical sembling in some respect; but he said: “Well, 80 much the better; it will be a diapason take 600,000 francs, but liquidate the debts stroke for a great many others. Very little for that sum, and let me hear nothing more will serve to show them that I can do more.'” on the subject. I authorize you to threaten -LAS CASES. these tradesmen with paying nothing if they It was a most extraordinary thing for do not reduce their enormous charges. They us to see the man whose head was filled ought to be taught not to be so ready in giv- with such vast affairs enter into the most ing credit.” Madame Bonaparte gave me all minute details of the female toilet, and of her bills. The extent to which the articles what dresses, and of what robes, what jewels had been overcharged, owing to the fear of the empress should wear on such and such not being paid for a long period and of de- an occasion. One day he daybed her dress ductions being made from the amount, was with ink because he did not like it and inconceivable. It appeared to me also that wanted her to put on another. Whenever he there must be some exaggeration in the num- looked into her wardrobe he was sure ber of articles supplied. I observed in the to throw things topsy-turvy.-VILLEMA | milliners' bills thirty-eight new hats, of REST. great price, in one month. There was also Bonaparte said to me, “Bourrienne, Tal. a charge of eighteen hundred francs for heron leyrand has been speaking to me about the plumes and eight hundred francs for per- debts of my wife. I have the money from fumes. I asked Josephine whether she wore Hamburg—ask her the exact amount of her | out two hats in one day. She objected to this debts; let her confess all. I wish to finish, charge for the hats, which she merely called and not begin again. But do not pay with | a mistake. The impositions which the sad- out showing me the bills of these rascals; dler attempted, both in the extravagance of they are a gang of robbers." ... The next his prices and in charging for articles which morning I saw Josephine. She was at first he had not furnished, were astonishing. I delighted with her husband's intentions; but | need say nothing of the other tradesmen-it this feeling did not last long. When I asked was the same system of plunder throughout. her for an exact account of what she owed, I availed myself fully of the First Consul's she entreated me not to press it, but content permission and spared neither reproaches nor myself with what she should confess. I said menaces. I am ashamed to say that the to her, "Madame, I cannot deceive you re- greater part of the tradesmen were contented specting the disposition of the First Consul. with half of what they demanded. One of He believes that you owe a considerable sum them You will, I and is willing to discharge it. received 35,000 francs for a bill of doubt not, have to endure some bitter re- 80,000; and he had the impudence to tell me proaches and a violent scene; but the scene that he had made a good profit nevertheless. will be just the same for the whole as for a Finally I was fortunate enough, after the part. If you conceal a large proportion of most vehement disputes, to settle everything your debts, at the end of some time murmurs for 600,000 francs. Madame Bonaparte, how- will recommence, they will reach the ears of ever, soon fell into the same excesses again, the First Consul and his anger will display | but fortunately money became more plenti- itself still more strikingly. Trust to me | ful.-BOURRIENNE. Napoleon I. 466 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES You will do well to send privately for cognito, and that she could not venture to the empress Josephine's comptroller and go publicly. “Why, madame," I asked her, make him aware that nothing will be paid "I think the applause you would receive over to him, unless proof is furnished that would be pleasing to the emperor.” “You there are no debts; and, as I will have no do not know him then," was her reply. "If shilly-shallying on the subject, this must be I was received with much cordiality, I am guaranteed on the comptroller's own property. sure he would be jealous of any little triumph You will therefore notify the comptroller which he would not have shared. When I that from the first of January next, no pay am applauded he likes to take part in my ment will be made either in your own office success; and I should only mortify him by or in the crown treasury until he has given sceking any when he cannot be present."-- an undertaking that no debts exist and made MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. his own property responsible for the fact. I One day the First Consul invited sev. have information that the expenditure in that eral generals to breakfast at Malmaison. household is increasingly careless. You will During the repast General Bonaparte took therefore see the comptroller and put your. it into his head to ask his guests to shoot self in possession of all the facts regarding | in the park; whereupon Madame Bonaparte money matters; for it is absurd that, instead became very much agitated. “What?” cried of saving two millions of money, as the em- she; "shoot at this time of the year? What press should have done, she should have more are you thinking about? All animals are debts to be paid. It will be easy for you to with young; it is not the season for shoot. find out the truth about this from the ing.” “Oh, well,” replied the First Consul comptroller and make him understand that he rather roughly, “I see we must give it up." himself might be seriously compromised. -CHEVERNY. The Empress Louise has 100,000 écus As Josephine was rather inclined to pre- [$60,000] and never spends that sum; she fer English materials, a discussion arose be- pays her bills once a week, goes without new tween the First Consul and his wife, which gowns if that be necessary, and suffers priva- ended in the First Consul commanding his tions in order to avoid having debts. The ex- wife never again to appear in the dress she penses of the Empress Josephine's household was then wearing and which was made of ought not to exceed one million. If there India muslin. He added that he would like are too many horses—cut them down. The her to wear a satin dress at the next recep- Empress Josephine has children and grand- tion of the ambassadors and diplomatic corps. children for whom she ought to lay by:- This was a terrible blow to the poor woman; Letter of Napoleon to Mollien, Minister of she sank down on a sofa, burst into tears she the Public Exchequer, November 1, 1811. and was obliged to hide her face in her hand- I was expected to know the balance sheet kerchief. as thoroughly as the revenue-in this I was General Bonaparte was no longer the well aided by the intendant. My task was a lover of 1796, of the old days of the Army of more difficult one with the empress: her dis. | Italy. His wife's tears were now powerless pleasure manifested itself more than once to move him; on the contrary, they only with feminine weakness, and on one occasion, annoyed him, so he left the room in a tem- when rendering an account of my interview, per, saying, “There! Do as you like, but with her to the emperor, he interrupted me remember that you are no longer fifteen or quickly, saying, “You should not have made thirty years of age and that you are much her cry.” When on another occasion I ex- | too old to play the child like that."-JUNG. pressed a fear that my strictness in the man- "But you forget that I already have agement of her affairs might prevent her had two children; are not Eugène and Hor. from continuing the pensions of three ola tense my children ?” Whereupon Madame soldiers who had been royalists, but who had | Baciocchi, “who had the sharpest tongue any long wished to serve under the banner of woman ever possessed,” critically retorted, Napoleon—"Give me the names of these offi- “But, sister, you were a young woman in cers,” he replied, "and tell her she must not those days.” Elise was quite right: Joseph. cry." The three officers were then employed. ine was young in those days and now she MOLLIEN. was no longer young. But Elise's impudent, I once suggested to her that she might | spiteful retort showed exactly how much divert her mind by going to the theater; these ladies loved each other and what sort but she told me that she did not derivel of affection existed between the Bonapartes enough amusement from the plays to go in- and the Beauharnais. Her sister-in-law loved 467 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT ber for this speech as she deserved to be entirely unfounded doubts had been raised. loved; as she always wept at the slightest ---MADAME DE RÉMUSAT. provocation, she could not restrain her tears. The house (Malmaison) was as she left The First Consul appeared in the midst of it. Not a thing had been moved and the these affecting scenes. “What's the matter? servants were still there and the order and Why are you crying?” Josephine managed comfort of the establishment were as though to tell him through her sobs what had just her return were momentarily expected. The happened. Whereupon the general, in order plants she loved were carefully tended and to smooth matters, said to his sister: "How her particular favorites were affectionately stupid you are! Don't you know that we pointed out. The old domestic, who acted as must not always speak the truth?” Lucien, | my guide, spoke low, as if afraid of disturbing in relating this incident, adds that Madame | her repose, or as if the sanctity of death still Bonaparte seemed to think that her husband's pervaded the apartments. He could not men- remark had made matters only worse. tion her without emotion and he told enough JUNG. of her quiet, unobtrusive life, of her kind- The emperor informed us that a dis. ness to the poor, of her gentleness to all about tinguished lady, at the time of her marriage, her, to account for the devotion of her depend- had deceived her husband and represented ants. The evidences of her refined taste were herself to be five or six years younger than everywhere and there were tokens that her she really was, by producing the baptismal | love for her husband had survived his injus. register of her younger sister, who had been tice and desertion. After his second marriage dead some time. "However," said the em- | he occasionally visited her and she never al- peror, “in so doing, poor Josephine exposed lowed anything to be disturbed which remind- herself to some risk. This might really have ed her that he had been there. Books were proved a case of nullity of marriage.” These lying open on the table where he had left words furnished us with the key to certain them; the chair where he had sat was still dates, which at the Tuileries were the sub- where he had arisen from it; the flower he ject of jesting and ridicule, and which we had plucked withered where he had dropped then attributed wholly to the gallantry and it. Every article he had touched was sacred extreme complaisance of the Imperial Al. and remained unprofaned by other hands.- manac.—LAS CASES. “Personal Reminiscences," Atlantic Monthly, May, 1858. Napoleon removed Josephine's coiffeur Marie Louise from her without informing her and appoint- ed him to Marie Louise.-CUTHELL. She had been taught, if not to hate, at all events to look with little favor on the The emperor had for the moment re- Emperor Napoleon. For had he not more linquished the idea of a divorce, but, being than once brought the house of Hapsburg to still extremely anxious to have an heir, he within an ace of ruin and had he not also asked his wife whether she would consent to compelled her family to quit Vienna and acknowledge a child of his as her own, and wander from town to town amidst all the to feign pregnancy, so that every one should confusion and alarm which invariably follows be deceived. She consented to accede to any a hasty retreat ? The game which her broth- wishes of his on this point. Then Bonaparte ers and sisters generally played consisted of sent for Corvisart, his chief physician, in setting up a line of toy soldiers to repre- whom he had well-merited confidence, and sent the French army, placing at its head the confided his plan to him. “If I succeed,” said dirtiest and most repulsive figure they could he, “in making sure of the birth of a boy find, which they would then proceed to at- who shall be my own son, I want you, as a tack with pins and to insult in every con- witness of the pretended confinement of the ceivable way. It was thus that these chil- empress, to do all that would be necessary to dren thought to avenge all the misery in- give the device every appearance of reality.” flicted on their family by that dreaded cap- Corvisart, who felt that his honor and pro- tain, against whom the entire strength of bity were injured by the mere proposition, the Austrian army and the thunderings of refused to do what the emperor required of the Vienna cabinet were powerless to con- him, but promised inviolable secrecy. It was tend.-MÉNEVAL. not until long afterwards, and since Bona. parte's second marriage, that he confided this Slightly favored by nature, nothing was fact to me, while at the same time he affirmed remarkable about Marie Louise but the in the strongest terms the legitimate birth beauty of her foot. M. Anatole de Montes. of the King of Rome, concerning which some quieu, sent as a courier to apprise Napoleon Napoleon I. 468 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of the accomplishment of the wedding and of pleased about the marriage then ?” In a the day fixed for the departure of the illus. | word his majesty was in a most charming trious betrothed, was secretly enjoined by mood and would have liked to ask me a great M. de Narbonne to present to his majesty many more questions, showing how eager he the little slipper of the princess in the form was to see the empress, only some one in- of a portrait. This entirely new kind of at- | terrupted us to tell him that a wing of the tention met with the highest appreciation at palace had caught fire and he dismissed me. the French court. It was even said that Na A few days later the emperor's longing was poleon placed against his heart this first fulfilled by the arrival of the empress. He pledge of an, alas, ephemeral love.-COUNTESS rode out unattended for several miles to see POTOCKA, copyright, Doubleday, Page & Co. | her and as soon as he caught sight of the "But what struck us most.” writes Baus. | procession he galloped up to her carriage, set, comptroller of Napoleon's household and sprang off his horse, made the attendants who was one of the French mission, "among open the door and, flinging his arms around so many beautiful things, was the smallness his bride, embraced her tenderly, much to the of her feet, to judge by the shoes we brought, surprise of the princess, who was in the and which were made from patterns sent singular position of finding herself being from Vienna.” Napoleon had seen these kissed by a stranger who had given no one models and, tapping his valet on the cheek time to introduce him.-BARON LEJEUNE. with one, had exclaimed, “Look, Constant, Urged by his impatience, he hastened- here's a good omen. Have you seen many accompanied by his brother-in-law Murat- feet like that?”—CUTHELL. to meet the empress's carriage, in the guise This mighty man, the terror of the whole of an ordinary artillery officer, who was world, sent for tailors to make him well- merely to deliver a despatch. Unfortunately, fitting clothes; and also for a dancing master much to Napoleon's annoyance, this care- to teach him the Viennese waltz. He could fully planned surprise was frustrated by hardly restrain his ardor for Marie Louise. Audenarde, master of the horse, who had -WERTHEIMER. not been initiated into the secret. In con- sequence he arranged a surprise of a differ- He had the portrait of the princess ent kind for Marie Louise. Inconsiderate, brought to him and asked me if it was really as he always was, he consummated his mar- like her. I showed him also a profile sketch riage at the castle of Compiègne, without I had made and he exclaimed at once, “Yes; waiting for the ceremony in Paris. He had, she has the regular Austrian lip of the Haps- as it was said at the time, and as he himself burgs.” Then he pointed out the same pe- acknowledged later, first taken counsel with culiarity in some medals and, making me a bishop in order to quiet his conscience. stand close to him, he leaned over the table This prelate assured him that the ceremony so as to get the light of the lamp on the which had already taken place in Vienna en- portrait, with which he seemed quite in love. titled him to all the rights of a husband He asked me again if I thought it was like over his wife.-WERTHEIMER. her-if it flattered. “And are her eyes real- ly like that? As blue as that? Is not her The emperor went out to meet her, joined nose smaller ? It really is the Austrian lip, her at the distance of two leagues from isn't it?” he went on, as he pouted his own Compiègne, entered her carriage and re- lips a little. “Is she taking at first sight? turned with her to the palace. They do say Has she a bright smile? Is she as tall as that on that very same evening he acted that? (indicating his own height.) Is she towards her as Henry IV. had done to Marie this, or that or the other? Tell me, tell me, Medici at Lyons, and she doubtless experi- tell me everything about her.” “Yes, sire; enced all the less difficulties in yielding ... yes, sire," I kept repeating; and then, rub- in that this contingency had been foreseen, bing his hands together like a thoroughly and that at Vienna, where such matters were well understood, good care had been happy man, he began again, “Well, how did the Vienna fête go off ? I hope those we taken to admonish her that she was to con- are going to give will please every one still sider herself as duly married. The civil more. We mean to astonish them. France is marriage took place at St. Cloud on the 1st the only place for really good taste. So the of April and the religious ceremony was cele- King of Wurttemberg had a fine display too? brated the next day.-PASQUIER. Yes; he has the grand manner; he is a reg. The Salle Carrée, at the corner, preced- ular Louis XIV. in miniature; he'll ruin him. ing the Gallerie d'Apollo, has been trans- self. The people of Germany seem very | formed into a chapel, resplendent with the 469 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT masterpieces of sacred art. Here are in read. | pected visit, endeavored to prevent Napoleon iness Cardinal Fesch and the Paris ecclesias- from seeing what she was preparing. "What tical dignitaries. But, when Napoleon enters is going on here?" asked the emperor; "there and glances round the clergy, his brow grows is a singular smell, as of something being black. “Where are the cardinals ?” he asks fried." Then, stepping behind the empress, angrily of his private chaplain, the Abbé de he d scovered the spirit lamp, the silver fry- Pradt. “A great number are here,” timidly | ing an, in which the butter was beginning replies the chaplain; "but some are old and to n.olt, salad bowl and the eggs. “What!” infirm.” “No; they are not here,” exclaims | cries Napoleon, "so you are going to make Napoleon in a rage; "the fools! the fools!” an omelette! Bah! You do not know how And, indeed, the thirteen Italian cardinals, to do it at all. I will show you how it is who, in consequence of Napoleon having been to be done.” He then set to work, the em- placed under the ban of the pope, had an press acting as his assistant, but he was nounced that they would take no part in the trying to teach an assistant who knew more marriage ceremony, had not put in an appear about it than he did and whose education ance. For an excommunicated person can had been obtained in a very lofty school. only receive any of the sacraments from a The empress's parents were fond of rustic priesto Other clergy cannot be present. The occupations, loving to withdraw into some cardinals' action had nothing to do with the rustic home, built in the center of great divorce. . . . When, two days later, Napoleon imperial parks, and there, disguised as farm- received the Chamber, the Senate, the great ers, to attend to household duties with their bodies of the state, they made their appear children. The omelette, then, having been ance among the crowd, and not without mis finished somehow or other, there remained giving. But they were turned away incon the important operation of tossing it. Na- tinently before the arrival of the emperor. poleon wanted to do this himself; but he had He abused them angrily to their more pliant thought himself cleverer than he was and colleagues, confiscated their property, private just as he was trying to toss the omelette and oflicia; and, exiling them from Paris, there happened to him what happened to the relegated tiem to different towns in France Great Condé, who, according to Gourveille, uader police surveillance.-CUTHELL. wanted to make an omelette at an inn, where With regard to the cardinals who had he stopped, and pitched it into the fire when dcclined to be present at the marriage, they trying to turn it. Napoleon did not succeed Here arrested two days afterwards and, to- any better, and let the omelette fall on the ground. He was obliged to confess his want gether with an order to leave for various towns, they were forbidden to don the out- of experience and left the empress to go on with her cooking alone.--MÉNEVAL. ward signs of their dignity and enjoined to be always clothed in black. Their property In his anxiety to shield her innocence was sequestrated and the stipend which they | Napoleon enclosed Marie Louise in what was had enjoyed up to that time ceased to be practically a harem. With the exception of paid to them. In lieu of this they were of her doctor, her private and her financial fered two hundred and fifty francs per secretary, no man was admitted to her month, which was to be paid to them at private apartments without an order from the their place of exile. Two of them only ac. emperor himself. How particular he was cepted this offer; the others lived by means "that no man should boast of ever having of collections taken up secretly in their be been two seconds alone with the empress," half.-PASQUIER. two anecdotes from Madame Durand illus. trate: The jeweler Biennais had made for The remembrance of a taste, which she the empress a deed box fastened by several had acquired in the very homely sort of life locks, the secret of which was to be known she had led when quite a girl, inspired one day the empress to make an omelette herself, to her alone and it was necessary that he and she had all the necessary ingredients should show her the mechanism. Marie brought into her apartment. While com- Louise mentioned the matter to her husband, pletely taken up with her very important who allowed her to receive Biennais and the culinary operation, the emperor entered, with- latter was ordered to St. Cloud. When he out having been announced, either by chance arrived he was shown into the music room; or because he had heard from some officious he was at one end of it with her majesty; person what was going on, and wanted to a première dame, Madame D., was in the same have the pleasure of surprising Marie Louise. apartment, but sufficiently far away not to The latter, somewhat upset by this unex. | hear the instructions the jeweler was giving Napoleon I. 470 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES her. Just as they were finished, the emperor He reprimanded the librarian and henceforth came in and, seeing Biennais, inquired who all Marie Louise's literature came through the man was. The empress hastened to give | her husband's study.-CUTHELL. his name and to explain why he had come The duke said that the first time he had and that leave had been given by the em- seen her was during the Congress of Vienna peror himself for him to be admitted t her in 1815, when he went to pay his respects presence. But the emperor denied that this to her at Schoenbrunn; but, owing to the last was the case, made out that the same state of things in France, he did not often, d'annonce was in the wrong and administered of course, find himself in her society. It is to her a severe talking which the empress a very curious thing, he added, that she had all the trouble in the world to stop, afterwards said to some one: “The Duke of though she said to him, “But, mon ami, it Wellington little knows the service he has was I who ordered Biennais to come.” The done me by winning the battle of Waterloo." emperor laughed and said that that was not The fact was that she was then with child her affair, but that the lady alone was re- by Neipperg--whom she afterwards mar- sponsible for those she let in and that she ried; and if Napoleon had prevailed she had done wrong and that he hoped it would would have had to return to him in that not happen again. This is the second inci- state.-STANHOPE. dent: Marie Louise had a music master, The Baronne de Montet has recorded in who had been her mother's, M. Paer. One day, as he was giving his lesson, the dame her “Souvenirs” an incident worthy of note d'annonce, the same Madame D., had an order illustrating the selfishness and heartlessness to give. She opened a door and half her of Marie Louise's nature. Bonaparte was a body passed through it; she gave the order prisoner and the news of the event had just and at that moment Napoleon came in and, arrived. The Baronne de Montet went at not immediately perceiving her, thought that once to Madame Scarampil, lady-in-waiting she was not there. The music master de to the ex-empress. One would have thought parted, and then Napoleon demanded to that this lady would at that moment have know where the lady was when he entered. been with her mistress endeavoring to console She told him that she had not left the her on the receipt of such sad intelligence. room; he would not believe it, and made her Instead of which Mme. de Montet found her a long sermon, adding emphatically, “Ma- skipping, singing, etc., "for very joy at the dame, I honor and respect the empress, but but tidings" of Napoleon's capture. When Mme. the sovereign of a great empire should be | Scarampil became a little calmer, Mme. de placed above the attempt even of a sus- Montet asked whether Marie Louise had heard the news. "I am going to write to her," picion.” Verily, an old poacher makes a was the answer, “as the empress sees no one good gamekeeper! Napoleon also complained until eleven o'clock.” She then sat down and to Metternich one day that Madame de Mon- tebello, walking in the grounds of St. Cloud wrote to the archduchess. “We waited for an with her mistress, had presented to the latter answer with much impatience and curiosity," some young men, her cousins. He thought adds the Baronne de Montet, "and here it is, word for word: "Thank you; I had already that this was monstrous, that it might lead heard the news you sent me. I want to ride to intrigues, to people begging favors of the empress, and he begged Metternich, as he had to Merkenstein; do you think the weather is fine enough to risk it?'" This event, which known her all her life, to point this out to Marie Louise treated so lightly, was no less her, lest she should think him a jealous than Napoleon's embarkation on board the and exacting husband, but that she "was young and inexperienced and unused to Bellerophon-in fact, his first step on the French people and this country.”—CUTHELL. way to exile.-BILLARD. We will recall an incident, and in order Napoleon had a great dislike to seeing to avoid any suspicion of malice or exag- novels lying about in his wife's room, or even geration, we will quote the words of the in the ladies' drawing room; therefore, when Comte de Haussonville, who is responsible for he came in, the volumes had to be hurriedly the story: "I was present when the Comte hidden. Anxious, however, to minister to de Sainte-Aulaire related an anecdote which Marie Louise's great love of reading, he or. showed that the feelings of the empress at dered the librarian to make a selection of that time were in no way suited to the cir. books for her. But when they came he found cumstances. The arrival of M. de Sainte- among them the Satires of Juvenal, and of Aulaire was announced to her majesty very this he disapproved of his wife's reading. I early in the morning, while she was still in 471 Napoleon I. OF THE GREAT bed. She was but half awake when she re and by Metternich, at Narbonne.-O'MEARA, ceived him, sitting at the side of the bed quoting Napoleon. with her bare feet showing from beneath the Napoleon went on to ask about his wife, coverlet. Completely overcome by the gravity the Empress Marie Louise, a much less satis. of the situation, for the letter of which he factory subject, seeing that her conduct was the bearer not only brought the news towards him was heartless beyond words; of of the fall of the empire, but also that of all creatures living he had most indulged Napoleon's attempted suicide at Fontaine- and loved her. "Is the empress in good rela- bleau, M. de Sainte-Aulaire stood with his tions with my mother, or with any of my eyes cast down, anxious to appear uncon- family?” “I only know that Madame Mère scious of the effect produced on the empress has written her twice without reply." "Then by this sad intelligence. 'Ah, you are look she is either forbidden to write or she has ing at my feet,' exclaimed the empress; 'I never received the letter," replied Napoleon am always being told how pretty they are.'" hastily, ashamed to confess to the fact of her -BILLARD. ingratitude and indifference.—MRS. ELLIOT. I am just now in great uncertainty. The In his moments of agony, when, to give Gazette of Piedmont has announced in such him some comfort, we spoke to him of you, a positive manner the death of the Emperor often has he replied, “Be sure that if my Napoleon, that it is hardly possible to doubt wife makes no sign, it is because she is kept it any longer. I confess I was extremely surrounded by spies, who prevent her know- startled at it, though I have never had any ing all that I am made to endure, for Marie deep feelings of any kind for him. I can Louise is virtue itself."--GOURGAUD, letter to not forget that he is the father of my son Marie Louise. and that, far from behaving badly to me, as He made her his executrix, adding in his every one believes, he always showed me will, “I have every reason to be satisfied every consideration-the only thing one can with my dear wife Marie Louise. I retain look for in a political marriage, I was there- for her, to my last moment, the most in. fore very grieved at it and, though one tense affection."-CUTHELL. should be glad that he has ended his un- happy life in a Christian manner, I could VI still have wished him many more years of ST. HELENA happiness and life-provided that it was far Sir George Cockburn sat three quarters away from me. In the uncertainty about it | of an hour at the Admiralty. I was de- I have settled myself at Sala, not wishing termined to bring him out about Napoleon; to go to the theater till I know something positive. My health has become so frail that so, after a little preliminary chat, I said: I have felt this shock.-MARIE LOUISE, let- "Sir George, this is an opportunity which may never occur again. May I ask you one ter to the Countess Victoire. or two questions?” “You may.” “Why did August 22, 1817.—I believe that Marie you think meanly of Napoleon ?” “I'll tell Louise is just as much a state prisoner as you,” he said, “when I went to him with I am myself, except that more attention is Lord Keith, I went prepared to admire him. paid to decorum in the restraints imposed on He behaved violently, said I should pass over her. I have always had occasion to praise his cadaver, that he would not go to St. the conduct of my good Louise, and I believe Helena, and so forth. Not caring for all this, that it is totally out of her power to assist I said, 'At what hour shall I send the boat ? " me; moreover, she is young and timorous. It I forget Sir George's continuation, for the was perhaps a misfortune to me that I had servant came in. After answering the ser- not married a sister of the Emperor Alexan vant, rather nettled at the interruption, he der, as proposed to me by Alexander himself went on to say: "I came at the hour of at Erfurth. But there were inconveniences the day, to take him on board the Bellero- in that union, arising from religion. I did phon, prepared to use force, and ready even not like to allow a Russian priest to be the for bloodshed.' To my utter wonder he confessor of my wife, as I considered that he skipped away and went on board without a would have been a spy in the Tuileries for word. After all these threats, what do you Alexander. It has been said that my union think of that? At dinner he talked indecent- with Louise was made a stipulation in the ly before women, and burst forth and gave treaty with Austria, which is not true. I me a whole history of his Egyptian cam- should have spurned the idea. It was first paign, puffing himself grossly. In fact, he proposed by the Emperor Francis himself, I would talk of nothing but himself. When Napoleon I. 472 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES we got to St. Helena, we rode out to choose burn, I had implored the emperor's interces- a situation. He wished to have a house in sion for me. He most kindly asked my fa- which a family were, instantly. I explained ther to let me go and his request, of course, that a week's notice was only decent. He was instantly acceded to. It was the first said he could sleep under a tent. As we rode ball dress I had ever possessed and I was down the hill I showed him the room I in not a little proud of it. He said I was very tended to occupy. Napoleon said, “That is pretty and, the cards being now ready, I the very room I should like', so it was given placed it on the sofa and sat down to play. up to him. Then he complained of the Napoleon and my sister were partners and sentries; they were withdrawn and ser- Las Cases fell to my lot. We had always geants put in place. Then he complained of hitherto played for sugar plums, but to-night them and gave his honor, if they were re | Napoleon said, “Mademoiselle Betsee, I will moved, he would never violate the limits. | bet you a napoleon on the game." I had I yielded and that very night he went into had a pagoda presented to me, which made the town. He then asked for four thousand up the sum of all my worldly riches, and I napoleons taken from him, which was grant said I would bet him that against his na. ed; and he bought up all the gold lace and poleon. The emperor agreed to this and green baize in the town to dress up his suite, we commenced playing. Peeping under his and spent days in carving and arranging cards as they were dealt to him, he endeav. this gold lace. Now, these are my reasons ored whenever he got an important one, to for thinking meanly of him. He told me lies draw off my attention and then slily held repeatedly and, after granting him my own it up for my sister to see. I soon discovered room at his request, he wrote to the govern this and, calling him to order, told him he ment that he had been forced into one was cheating and that if he continued to do room."-HAYDON. so I would not play. At last he revoked We found him in the billiard room, em- intentionally and at the end of the game ployed looking over some very large maps, tried to mix the cards together to prevent his and moving about a number of pins, some being discovered, but I started up and, seiz- with red heads, others with black. I asked ing hold of his hands, I pointed out to him him what he was doing. He replied that he and others what he had done. He laughed was fighting over again some of his battles until the tears ran out of his eyes and de- and that the red-headed pins were meant to clared that he had played fair, but that I represent the English and the black to in- had cheated and should pay him the pagoda dicate the French. One of his chief amuse- and, when I persisted that he had revoked, ments was going through the evolutions of a he said I was méchante and a cheat; and, lost battle, to see if it were possible by snatching up my ball dress from the sofa, better maneuvering to have won it.-ELIZA- he ran out of the room with it and up to his BETH ABELL. pavilion, leaving me in terror lest he should spoil all my pretty roses. I instantly set Napoleon began to talk English and, off in chase of him, but he was too quick and, having thrown his arm half round Madame darting through the marquee, he reached the Bertrand's neck, he exclaimed, addressing inner room and locked himself in. I then himself to me, “This is my mistress! Oh, commenced a series of the most pathetic not mistress-yes, yes, this is my mistress!” remonstrances and entreaties, both in English while the lady was endeavoring to extricate and in French, to persuade him to restore herself and the count, her husband, bursting me my frock, but in vain; he was inexorable, with laughter. He then asked whether he and I had the mortification of hearing him had made a mistake and, being informed of laugh at what I thought the most touching the English interpretation of the word, he of my appeals. I was obliged to return cried out, "Oh, no, no—I say, my friend, my without it. He afterwards sent down word love. No, not love; my friend, my friend.” that he intended to keep it and that I might The fact was that Madame Bertrand had make up my mind not to go to the ball. I been indisposed for several days and he lay awake half the night and at last cried wished to rally her spirits as well as give myself to sleep, hoping he would relent in unreserved ease to the conversation.- the morning, but the next day wore away WARDEN. and I saw no signs of my pretty frock. I Napoleon asked me what my robe de bal | sent several entreaties in the course of the was to be. I must mention that on my day but the answer was that the emperor father's refusal to let me got to the ball, slept and could not be disturbed. He had which was to be given by Sir George Cock | given these orders to tease me. At last the 473 Napoleon L OF THE GREAT hour arrived for our departure for the valley. the least about either.-BINGHAM, Black- The horses were brought around, and I saw wood's Magazine, October, 1896. the little black boys ready to start with our He discovered through the interpretation tin cases, without, alas, my beautiful dress of Las Cases that an old Malay, who was being in them. I was in despair and hesi. hired by M. Balcombe as gardener, had been tated whether I should go in my plain frock entrapped from his native place on board an rather than not go at all, when to my great English ship several years before, brought joy I saw the emperor running down the to St. Helena, smuggled on shore, illegally lawn to the gate with my dress. “Here, sold for a slave, let out to whoever would Miss Betsee, I have brought your dress; I hire him, and his earnings chiefly appro- hope you are a good girl now and that you priated to his master. This he communicat- will like the ball, and mind that you dance ed to the admiral, who immediately set on with Gourgaud.” General Gourgaud was not foot an inquiry; the probable result would very handsome and I had some childish feud have been the emancipation of poor Toby, with him. I was all delight at getting back had the admiral remained in command. my dress and still more pleased to find that When Napoleon discovered, soon after the my roses were not spoiled. He said that he departure of Sir George Cockburn, that the had ordered them to be arranged and pulled poor man had not been emancipated, he di- out, in case any might have been crushed the rected M. Balcombe to purchase him from night before.- ELIZABETH ABELL. his master, set him at liberty and charge the He then inquired if I knew any French amount to M. Bertrand's private account. songs and among others "Vive Henri Quar- | Sir Hudson Lowe, however, thought proper tre.” I said I did not. He began to hum the to prohibit this and the man was still in a air, became abstracted and, leaving his seat, state of slavery when I left St. Helena.- marched around the room, keeping time to O'MEARA. the song he was singing. When he had done April 21, 1816.-Captain Hamilton, of he asked me what I thought of it and I | the Havana frigate, had an audience with told him I did not like it at all, for I could Napoleon in the garden. Napoleon told him not make out the air. In fact, Napoleon's that when he (Napoleon) arrived at the voice was most unmusical, nor do I think island, he had been asked what he desired he had an ear for music, for neither on this to have. He thereupon begged of him to say occasion nor in any of the subsequent at- that he desired his liberty or the executioner. tempts at singing could I ever discern what -O'MEARA. tune he was executing.–ELIZABETH ABELL. May 16, 1816.-Tell him that I never About a week since it was intimated to want to see him and that I wish he would Madame Bertrand that she was so fond of the never again come to annoy me with his hate- English and partial to their society that she ful presence. Let him never again come might save herself the trouble of attendance near me, unless it is with orders to despatch at dinner. The emperor had dined in his room me; he will then find my breast ready for the day before, fearing that he could not have the blow; but until then let me be free of kept his temper and would have displayed his odious countenance; I cannot accustom a scene before the servants. Madame then myself to it.-O'MEARA, quoting Napoleon made known that Napoleon was frequently in the habit of using language neither kingly speaking of Sir Hudson Lowe. nor gentlemanly towards his attendants and In my misfortune I sought an asylum, that the ladies even were not respected in and instead I have found contempt, ill- these fits of rage. The interdiction lasted treatment and insult. Shortly after I came a week, at the end of which time it was sig. on board (Admiral Cockburn's] ship, as I nified that “the emperor permitted her to did not wish to sit two or three hours come to dinner.”—BINGHAM, “Diary,” Black guzzling down wine to make myself drunk, I wood's Magazine, October, 1896. got up from table and walked out on deck. Napolcon received the intelligence of While I was going out, he said, in a con- the death of Murat and Ney with the great- temptuous manner, “I believe the general est indifference. Of the former he observed has never read Lord Chesterfield,” meaning that he was a fool and deserved his fate. that I was deficient in politeness and did not know how to conduct myself at table. He said he had behaved very ill to him and had refused to lend him money when at Elba. O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. Of the latter he said he had done him more Any person who endeavors to force his harm than good, and did not appear to care way into my apartment shall be a corpse Napoleon I. Napoleon III. 474 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the moment he enters it. If he ever eats the words of Fulton and perceived how bread or meat again, I am not Napoleon. grossly the Academy of Sciences had been This I am determined on; I know that I mistaken.--ALICE CRARY SUTCLIFFE. shall be killed afterwards, for what can one "Tête d'armée," murmured the dying Na- do against a camp? I have faced death too many times to fear it. Beside this, I am poleon, believing himself still charging at the head of his legions, instead of lying a help- convinced that this governor has been sent less prisoner in his sea-girt dungeon of St. out by Lord - I told him a few days Helena.-Chambers's Journal, September 9, ago that if he wanted to put an end to me, 1876. he would have a very good opportunity by sending some one to force his way into my There was nothing in or about the house chamber. That I would immediately make to remind one of its late occupant. It was a corpse of the first one who entered and used as a granary. The apartments were then of course I should be despatched and he filled with straw; a machine for threshing might write home to his government that and winnowing was in the parlor, and the Bonaparte had been killed in a brawl. I room where he died was now converted into also told him to leave me alone and not a stable, a horse standing where his bed torment me with his hateful presence.- had been. The position was naked and com- O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. fortless, being on the summit of a hill, It was expected and required that all perpetually swept by the trade winds, which persons who visited at Hut's Gate, or at suffered no living thing to stand, excepting a few straggling, bare, shadeless trees, which Longwood, should make a report of the con- versations they had held with the French to contributed to the disconsolate character of the landscape. The grave was in a quiet the governor, or to Sir Thomas Reade. Sev- little valley. It was covered by three plain eral additional sentinels were placed about Longwood House and grounds.--O'MEARA. slabs of stone, closely surrounded by an iron railing; a low, wooden paling extended a Many changes relative to the treatment short distance around and the whole was of the French have taken place since Sir overhung by three decaying willows. The Hudson arrived. Mr. Brooke, the Colonial appearance of the place was plain and ap- Secretary, Major Gorrequer, Sir Hudson's propriate. Ornament could not have in- aid-de-camp, and other official persons went creased its beauty, nor inscription have round the different shopkeepers in town, or added to its solemnity.--"Personal Reminis- dering them, in the name of the governor, cences,” Atlantic Monthly, May, 1858. not to give credit to any of the French, or to sell them any article, unless for ready Count Montholon has stated in an au- money, under pain not only of losing the thentic form that the executors having de- amount so credited, but of suffering such sired a tablet with an inscription to be placed other punishment as the governor might upon the coffin, Sir H. Lowe would by no think proper to inflict. They were further means allow it. Now what does the reader directed not to hold any communication what- imagine this offensive inscription may have soever with them, without special permis- been? Tho words, “Napoleon, born at Ajac- sion of the governor, under pain of being cio, 15 Aout, 1769—died at St. Helena May turned off the island.-O'MEARA. 5, 1821.” The governor would not even permit the initials of his name to be written upon This invention [Fulton's steamboat], the coffin.---Edinburgh Review, June, 1822. however, appeared so extraordinary to Na- poleon at the time that he could not con- I have studied the history of St. Helena ceive it practicable; vet, from the forcible for forty years. I have visited the island impression it made upon his mind, he deemed / three times. I have lived in the precincts it expedient to lay the particulars before of Longwood and its neighborhood for a the Academy of Sciences in Paris for their month, and I have carefully examined and serious consideration. The following was the compared one with another all the statements reply of the Academy of Sciences to Napo which have been published, dealing with the leon: “Sire, we have effectively found a captivity. The evidence in my opinion is motive power in steam, but of a nature com overwhelmingly conclusive that the object paratively so feeble that a child's toy could sought by the English ministers in 1815 was hardly be put in motion by it.” Such was not the exile, but the speedy death of Na- the reply of these sapient Academicians. poleon.-GENERAL SIR WILLIAM BUTLER: a Nor was it again until Napoleon beheld from lecture delivered at Tipperary, January 10, St. Helena a steamship that he remembered | 1908. 475 Napoleon I. Napoleon III. OF THE GREAT NAPOLEON III., Charles Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, 1808-1873. French statesman. Third Emperor of France. Boyhood and Youth The king of Holland had two legitimate sons; the eldest died of croup at the age of five years, the second died in 1831. The third son born to Queen Hortense, afterwards Na- poleon III., was disowned by the king of Holland and, as is now well known, was the offspring of an illicit connection. In com- pliance, however, with the wishes of his brother, the emperor, the king allowed the boy to be baptized under the name of Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, paternity according to French law being proved by the baptismal register, la filiation se prouvant par l'acte de naissance. In the eyes of the law, Louis Napoleon, therefore, became the third son of the king of Holland and Queen Hortense. The Comte de Morny, who conspicuously fig. ures in this history, was half brother to Louis Napoleon, by another liaison of the queen.-M. BETHAM-EDWARDS, "French Vi- gnettes.” This, I know, is often declared to be a Bourbon scandal, but how otherwise can the following letter of Louis of Holland to Pope Gregory XVI. be explained, unless indeed it were a forgery? "Holy Father: My heart is overcome with sorrow and indignation, since I heard that my sons have taken part in the criminal revolt against your holiness's authority. My life, which was already full enough of care, has been still further em- bittered by the knowledge that one of my kindred should have forgotten all your kind- ness to my unhappy family. The unfortu- nate young man is dead; God be merciful to him. As to the other one who bears my name, he had, thank God, nothing to do with me. As your holiness is aware, I have had the misfortune to marry a Messalina, who bore children.” The father of Napoleon III. is usually supposed to be the Dutch admiral Verhuel.—CLEMENT SHORTER, "Napoleon and His Fellow Travelers.” The truth appears to be that his knowl- edge of his wife's faithlessness at various periods inclined him to believe, at times, that none of the children of the union were his own. In more reasonable moments he acted very differently, laying claim to the boys and insisting on his rights as their father. There was certainly more than one quarrel, more than one period of coldness, al- most hostility, between the ex-king of Ilolland and the future emperor of the French, but in their personal correspondence, at least so far as it has been published, there ap- pears no indication of any denial of pater- nity. Indeed, the father often sends his son his blessing and advice and intervenes with others in his behalf.—LE PETIT HOMME ROUGE (E. A. Vizetelly), "Court Life Under the Second Empire.” In a little autobiography of himself he states that to an invitation of the Empress Josephine to ask for anything he liked best, he "requested to be allowed to go and walk in the gutters with the little street boys.” ... Their governess was more careful of Louis, for, on a cold day, as he was about to water some flowers, the lady, in order to pre- vent his being chilled, filled the watering-pot with warm water.-BLANCHARD JERROLD, "Life of Louis Napoleon the Third." The furniture was old-fashioned and Louis Napoleon told us it had all come from Malmaison and was a remembrance of old times. The hard couch, surmounted by the gold eagle, had been in the reception room of the Empress Josephine and only a few days before her death the Emperor Alexan- der had been seated beside her upon it. Over another couch hung a small sketch in water colors, which much attracted my attention, and when I asked the subject of it Prince Louis smiled. "A little remembrance of my youth," he said, “painted by the artistic hand of Madame Cochelet, who was then my gov- erness. The lady with the long train and with brilliants in her hair—that is my dear mother, and the little fellow in front of her, to whom she is bending down—that is my- self. It was in the days of prosperity and splendor, when I was not an honorary burger of Thurgau, but the nephew of the Emperor Napoleon.” He sighed; but soon, banishing his momentary sadness, he resumed his genial manner. “I will tell you the story of the little picture and why it was drawn," he continued. "There was a ball at the Tuiler- ies, given by the emperor, and my mother had dressed magnificently for it and when she came into the room my brother and I gazed at her with great admiration. She appeared to me like some fairy out of the tales with which Madame Cochelet used to entertain us when we had done our lessons well. The queen perceived our childish pleasure: 'You find me beautiful to-night, my children; you admire my brilliants, my jewels; but to me this little bunch of violets in my belt seems more beautiful than all the diamonds and pearls I possess. She detached a little bouquet and held it to me. They were my 477 Napoleon III. OF THE GREAT would fly away at the hour of your lesson "a fact suppressed by order,” according to and come back when M. Hase [the German the doctor's own expression. It is asserted master) arrives.” “But, prince," objected the that in July, 1840, Prince Louis Napoleon abbé, "what you say is not civil to me." (afterwards Napoleon III.) took leave of his “Oh," answered the child, retrieving his uncle Joseph, "on board the Batavier, a blunder with ready grace, “what I say is for Dutch steamer.” When the bell for visitors the lesson, not for the man.”—I. A. TAYLOR, I to leave the vessel sounded, and the nephew “Queen Hortense,” quoting Napoleon's let. | and uncle separated, the latter, still holding ter to Josephine, t. ii, p. 376. the former by the hand, said, “There are to We have taken some pains to find out be no plots, you understand; keep your what we could of Louis Napoleon and record money for better purposes; when France wants us, she will be sure to summon us." the following story, which we must premise "Be quite easy, uncle," was the reply; "you our informant gives as he heard, not as he saw: After living a little time in New York, may rely on me.” “Really!” exclaimed the other, with tears in his eyes. “On my and, having been pretty essentially thrashed honor," replied the prince, as, with one hand by one of the “b'hoys" of that day, an acci- on his heart, to emphasize the expression, dent which befell not only the Marquis of he turned on his heel and was gone. Those Waterford, but Louis Philippe, and William words still rang in Dr. Granville's ears thirty IV. of England, in this good city of Gotham, years after the notorious "affair of Bou- the prince went to New Jersey, where he was logne," which occurred within a few days of involved in rather a funny scrape. A cer- that interview which Dr. Granville witnessed tain pig one day entered the garden of the and has recorded.—Chambers's Journal, person with whom he was domiciled, and be- January 9, 1875. gan to eat up a parcel of Dutch bulbs set out to dry, fancying that they were onions. At Strasburg, when the regiment on Remembering that he was a son of the king which he depended refused its support, he of Holland, out sallied the prince and in- ran and was found in a state of abject ter- continently shot the pig. The wrath of a ror, hiding under a carriage. In the Boulogne Jersey Blue was excited and the prince ar attempt, when he had got half way across rested on a charge of feloniously shooting a the channel, he became alarmed and wished pig. He refused any atonement and, as to turn back. The people about him called there are no princes in New Jersey, was ar- for champagne and kept him to his purpose rested and conveyed to Bergen jail. A by making him half drunk. As he approached good-natured lawyer, Mr. - chanced to the town and no friends appeared his alarm be there, paid costs and expenses, and Louis returned. The first troops that met him Napoleon returned home without any other were under the command of a sensible old damage than the accretion of a certain officer, who, when he saw the strange proces- amount of Jersey mud. This is the origin of sion, accompanied by the tame eagle, and the charge against him of pig-stealing. was told that Louis Napoleon was at their P. S.-A friend at our elbow, who belongs to head, instead of joining him, summoned him the Sporting Club, states that he was arrested to surrender. Vaudreuil has said that at for a much higher offense, "shooting a pointer Strasburg Louis Napoleon had not dared to dog," who lay down on the tulip beds; and fire even a pistol in his defense. Louis Na- that the sixty dollars fine and costs paid for poleon recollected this mot, kept a pistol in his majesty have never yet been refunded to his hand and fired at the officer, but his the kind-hearted lawyer.-Harper's Magazine, hand shook so that, though the man was not April, 1853. five paces off, he missed him and wounded a poor cook, who in his white apron was stand- Waiting for the Throne ing at a door to see what was going on. All through his youth and early manhood Louis Napoleon turned, ran towards the sea Louis Napoleon found his relatives a pon- and got into a boat. A boat from the shore derous and heavy obstacle in the way of his pulled after him. He gave himself up, begged ambitious dreams. They were, in his own them not to hurt him and said that he had words, "bodies without souls, petrified mum. two hundred thousand francs in his pocket, mies, or imponderous phantoms.”-F. H. | which he would give them.--N. W. SENIOR, CHEETHAM, “Louis Napoleon and the Genesis “Conversations—with General Changarnier.” of the Second Empire." I will here add a singular coincidence Of the late emperor, Napoleon III., Dr. which occurred in London at the end of 1847. Granville has related an anecdote containing | Prince Louis Napoleon took refuge in Eng. Napoleon III. . 478 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES land after his flight from Ham about the boats which caused a great swell on the same time that I arrived in London. He had water, rated the prince: "You should not great difficulty in gaining access to the aris undertake things which you cannot accom- tocratic circles. A new club, the Coventry plish. You are always, sir, too venturesome,” Club, was founded in 1847, in the same house etc. I remained silent. At length the boat- in Piccadilly now occupied by the St. James men, who had come to the rescue, got us off Club. It was founded for the purpose of re and we arrived at Craven Cottage just as ceiving foreigners, and especially members of Bulwer's company appeared in the distance. the diplomatic corps, as paying members— Nothing could be more good-natured than other clubs, like the Travelers and Athen: the prince and I could not have borne the æum, receiving foreigners as visitors only. scolding better myself. We often used to Prince Louis Napoleon was a candidate for smile over this adventure; and many years election to the Coventry Club; the French after (I think in 1856) my wife sat next to chargé d'affaires did his best to prevent the the emperor at dinner at the Tuileries and, as prince's admission and he was black-balled he was chatty, and often adverted to the by three votes. A year later, almost to the past, she ventured to remind his majesty of very day, he received six million votes. the story, which he said he quite remem- COUNT VON BEUST, “Memoirs.” bered. The empress, who overheard them, said: “Just like him."-WILLIAM FLAVELLE A late London journal, in describing his MONYPENNY, “Life of Benjamin Disraeli;" mode of life, gives the following not very quoting Disraeli. flattering account: "He was unscrupulous in contracting obligations which were wholly It was in the summer of 1860 or 1861 beyond his means of repayment. His most that I went for the first time to Baden-Baden serious pursuit was the study of alchemy, in company with my two grand-uncles, among by which he expected to arrive at the dis whose acquaintances were all sorts and con- covery of the philosopher's stone. So vigor- ditions of men. My relatives were talking to ously did he prosecute this exploded science, a Mr. Martin, a superannuated croupier of at a house which he had fitted up as a labora Frascati at Paris, who had been appointed tory at Camberwell, and so firm was his inspector of the gambling tables under the faith in the charlatan empiric whom he em- late François Blanc, of Monte Carlo fame. ployed to aid him into transmuting the baser We were standing on the steps of the Kur- metals into gold, that he is said actually saal-I, a lad of seventeen, but a precocious to have appropriated his revenue in antici- one, keeping my eyes and ears wide open for pation and to have devoted the first milliard everything that was said and done. It is of his gains to the payment of the national well known that the late William I., of Prus- debt of France, in order to acquire thus an sia, before he succeeded to his brother's imperial throne by purchase.-The Eclectic throne, had several interviews with Napoleon Magazine, Darch, 1849. III. at the fashionable resort, mainly Bulwer, who then lived at Craven Cot- through the instrumentality of Bismarck. On that day the emperor was at Baden-Baden tage, gave a breakfast party there. We ar- and Prince William and he were to meet in rived too late and all the guests had gone the Lichtenhalle Allee. As a matter of up the Thames on a steamer. Walking on course, the majority of the visitors were the terrace, quite alone, two gentlemen who flocking thither. “Aren't you going to the had arrived still later came up to us. They Lichtenhalle Allee, Martin ?” asked my were Prince Napoleon and Persigny. My uncle. The old croupier shrugged his shoul- wife explained to the prince why the assem- ders. “The sight of Prince William is no bly was so scant. Upon this the prince said: "We will get a boat and I will row you down novelty to us. He comes pretty well every year.” “True, but what about Emperor to meet them.” There were a boat and boat- Napoleon ?” “Emperor Napoleon," quoth men lingering about whom we hailed from the terrace. The prince took the oars and Martin, pondering as it were, “I saw the first for a little time we went on well. At last, one when I was a lad. This one is the third to escape the swell of a steamer that was son of Queen Hortense, the one who used approaching, the prince contrived to row us to travel about a good deal. If I am not mis- into a mudbank in the middle of the river, taken-- " "You are not mistaken, Mar- and there we stuck. Nothing could get us tin," came a voice from behind us. “He still off. I was amused by the manner in which , owes twenty-five louis to the bank." I looked my wife, who was alarmed especially, and not around and saw a thin, shriveled old man, without cause, from the fear of other steam. I rather below than above middle height; it 479 Napoleon III. OF THE GREAT was the famous François Blanc.-ALBERT D. and hurried to Paris. The quidnuncs assert VANDAM, “Under Currents of the Second that thereupon Carlier, the prefect of police, Empire.” rushed off to the Elysée, and told the presi. At the time of the vacancy of the Greek dent that it was his duty to acquaint him throne it was suggested that the prince might with the sudden arrival in Paris of Chan- be an excellent candidate for the succession; garnier. Louis Napoleon replied very calmly: if elected, he would have been so with the "That ought not to astonish you, M. Carlier, good wishes of France and England. This as he comes in answer to a letter you wrote was Lord Palmerston's idea; but when the him four days ago." The prefect of police prince was sounded on the subject he de- was thunderstruck at the discovery of the clined at once and privately explained that plot, and, not knowing what to say, retired all his hopes were centered in France. He in confusion. ... November 5.--I explained had such implicit confidence in the future yesterday how it happened that Carlier lost that he used to say to his cousin, the Duchess the prefecture of police; to-day I must ex- of Hamilton (Princess Marie of Baden): plain how Maupas got it. It was he who "Marie, when I am at the Tuileries, I shall discovered the cabal with Changarnier and make such and such changes," and she would informed the prince of it. “Your highness reply: “I wish, Louis, you would not always is being deceived,” he said, “and I have the talk like this—people only laugh at you.” proof in my possession; here it is.” He Even when he was leaving Paris for his thereupon produced and showed the prince a prison at Ham, he turned to the officer who copy of a letter which had been sent to the commanded the guard of chasseurs drawn up general, urging him to repair to the capital. on the platform of the station and expressed -COUNT DE VIEL CASTEL, "Memoirs." his intention of changing the uniform of the Courtship and Marriage regiment. He was a regular fatalist, like his uncle with the sun of Austerlitz.-LORD LAM- “I have so great need of affection," he INGTON, Blackwood's Magazine, January, wrote at this time to his father (December 1890. 15, 1831), "that if I found a woman who pleased me and who was agreeable to my M. de Cournon, a former prefet of the family, I should not think twice about mar- Cautal, was once invited in company with rying.” But King Louis, in giving the ad- a ·rich proprietor of the Puy-de-Dôme to an vice his son asked for, was hardly encour- evening reception given by Louis Napoleon. The proprietor was a blunt countryman, aging. He replied that the essential thing frank to the verge of rudeness. Louis Na- in marriage in order to avoid misfortune was not to be in love. The advice of a phi- poleon questioned him on the situation in his department and elicited the following re- losopher, perhaps, but hardly what would have been expected from the lover of Emilie de ply: "Out of one hundred and twenty thou- Beauharnais and the forced husband of Hor- •sand electors you got one hundred and tense.-F. H. CHEETHAM, “Louis Napoleon eighteen thousand votes. Well, you cheated us." "How do you make that out?" asked and the Genesis of the Second Empire.” the prince, rather taken aback. “Yes; I say “Mademoiselle de Montijo, whose nature you cheated us. We thought we were elect was full of poetry, took pleasure in admiring ing an emperor, but we have got only a presi the capricious and magical effects of the light. dent.” “Sir,” replied Louis Napoleon grave. She called particular attention to a clover ly, "I beg you will not talk sedition in the leaf so gracefully hung with dew drops as presence of the president of the republic:"— to look like a real gem. When the walk was POUMIES DE LA SIBOUTIE, “Recollections of a over the emperor drew aside Count Bac- Parisian." ciochi, who set out for Paris a few minutes November 4, 1851.—During the past day later. Next day he brought back a charming trinket in the exact form of a trefoil, each or two there has been a very pretty little intrigue on foot with the object of profiting of whose leaves bore a superb diamond drop." In the evening a lottery took place, in which by the first cause of difference between the chamber and the president, and subjecting the it was agreed that the jewel should fall to her who had admired the clover on the lawn latter to impeachment, in the event of which Changarnier was to have been made dicta- at Compiègne.--PHILIP W. SERGEANT, “The Last Empress of France," quotation from M. tor. Immediately the news of the ministerial changes were officially reported General de Maupas. Changarnier, thinking that the moment had Having set aside all the objections made arrived for his dictatorship, left the country | by his relatives, by his statesmen even, on Napoleon III. 480 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the subject of his marriage to Mademoiselle fashion or other set in place again. Mean- de Montijo, the emperor still had to over time, as the emperor, surprised at the delay, come the opposition of his intimate friends, inquired the cause of it, Fleury, approaching and especially that of their wives. A charm the coach, quietly informed him, whereupon ing anecdote has been told me about the time the emperor replied that he would tell him previous to her engagement to the man be an anecdote some other time. But the First fore whom all Europe knelt with apparent Equerry knew it already. A virtually iden- deference, but really with a sullen and hostile tical incident had occurred with the same feeling, when the lady who was to be made coach and the same crown at the marriage of empress arrived at Compiègne. The women Napoleon I. and Marie Louise. who were about the emperor, and amongst The marriage had a good effect, because them were Madames Drouyn de Lhuys, de Fortoul and Saint Armand, had resented the the emperor deigned to "pardon” three thou- sand persons who had been arrested, trans- news that Napoleon III., fascinated by ported or exiled for daring to oppose or dis- Mademoiselle de Montijo, was very likely to approve of the illegal coup d'état. For that marry her. All declared this marriage im- offense forty-one thousand persons had been possible, exclaiming that it could not be that arrested or prosecuted and twenty-nine thou- the emperor would marry this young girl, sand of them were convicted and sentenced and when she appeared among them they by court martial, or ordinary courts, or treated her with scorn and kept aloof from arbitrary mixed commissions. These figures her. One day at Compiègne several of them had been diminished by successive decrees of concealed their dislike and animosity so lit- pardon, but at the time of the imperial mar- tle that Mademoiselle de Montijo was deeply riage there still remained some six thousand hurt and complained to the emperor of the persons imprisoned at Lambessa, at Cayenne reception they had given her. The inter- or in France, or else exiled from the coun- view took place in the park and not far from try.-LE PETIT HOMME ROUGE (E. A. Vize- where Napoleon and his companion were. The telly), “Court Life Under the Second Em- enemies of the young girl were watching every | pire.” motion and gesture of the sovereign. The emperor listened, quietly smiling to his beau On hearing of the marriage Dupin said: tiful complainant. And when she had fin “People take little notice of what I say or ished speaking, he broke from a hedge sev. | think, and maybe they are right, but the eral flexible green branches and, twisting them emperor does better in espousing a lady who into a crown, put it coquettishly on the head pleases him than in allowing himself to be of Mademoiselle de Montijo, saying in a bargained for by some scrofulous German tone loud enough to be heard, “While wait princess with feet as big as my own. When ing for the other.” Not a word was said the emperor kisses his wife it will, at least, by the group of her critics and from that be for pleasure and not from duty.”—COUNT time the Empress Eugénie was taken up DE VIEL CASTEL, “Memoirs." by these women, who changed their tactics and were as amiable and obsequious to her On the Throne as they had previously been scornful and To amuse the children, with whom he arrogant.-PIERRE DE LANO, “The Empress delighted to have sport, it being April 1, Eugénie.” he caused the dinner to consist of turbot, The emperor and empress—he in full uni- which was gravely served again and again, form and again wearing the collar of the as entrées, relêves and rôtis to the guests.- Legion of Honor and the Golden Fleece- BLANCHARD JERROLD, "Life of Napoleon III." went together in a great coach, surmounted The emperor in private life amuses him- by the imperial crown and elaborately gilded self like a child; he has organized the game and adorned with paintings, which had been of football and devotes himself to the exer- built for the wedding of Napoleon I. and cise with perfect enthusiasm.-COUNT DE Marie Louise. But at the outset a curious VIEL CASTEL, “Memoirs." and ominous mishap occurred. The bridal But what shows the emperor's genius and pair had taken their seats and the vehicle prefigures his power is the feat related of was passing through the vaulted entrance to him that he would occasionally after dinner the Tuileries into the court yard, when the place all the chairs with their backs against imperial crown suddenly fell from the coach the table and then adroitly walk round on to the ground. The eight horses were at once | the top rail of the chairs.—The Eclectic halted, the crown was picked up and in some | Magazine, October, 1859. 481 Napoleon UI. OF THE GREAT Throughout his presidential as well as Eugène Sue was the godson of Louis imperial career Napoleon III. was often Napoleon's mother and her brother, Eugène cruelly embarrassed. Though himself very de Beauharnais, whose Christian name he simple he loved to travel in state and scat subsequently took, for it was not given him ter money with a liberal hand. His gen at his baptism. The fact of his being the erosity was proverbial. His civil list of | godson of some of Louis Napoleon's rela- £24,000 a year as president and that of tions ought to have imposed a certain re- £1,600,000 as emperor was therefore never serve with regard to the prince, even if his, sufficient. One day, on the eve of the very Sue's, socialistic tendencies, republican opin- journey alluded to in this chapter, after a ions and sympathy with the poor had been cabinet council, the prince took a couple of less suspected than they were. Even the peo- five-franc pieces from his pocket and, jingling ple in whose interests he professed to act them playfully together in the presence of made fun of him when he became a candi- the ministers, he said with a smile: “There, date for a seat in the Chamber of Deputies. that is all I have left for to-morrow's trip." But on the strength of his two great novels M. Ferdinand Barrot saw the painful situa- | Sue determined to pose as a benefactor to tion through the joke and borrowed ten suffering humanity, although he himself had thousand francs from a friend, which he not the least intention of assuming such a placed in gold on the president's dressing | rôle when he began the “Mysteries of Paris." table the same evening. The next afternoon Accordingly, when on the second of Decem- the prince had not a penny of it left. It ber, 1851, Morny placed his name on the list was spent in subscriptions to local charities. of deputies to be arrested, and when the -ALBERT D. VANDAM, note to the "Memoirs" president put his pen through the same, Sue, of Maupas. still determined to enact the victim, volun. tarily constituted himself a prisoner at the In spite of so many revolutions France For de Vanves. When the Bill of Exile was lagged fearfully behind in educational mat- promulgated, he was again disappointed, for ters. Many peasants actually believed that the president had effaced his name a second Napoleon I. had never died and that the per- time. Sue professed himself offended at this son they had given their votes for in De- clemency and went into exile on his own cember, 1848, was the little corporal himself. accord. As may be seen from all this Louis When Napoleon III. made a journey through Napoleon remembered that Sue was his moth- the rural districts of such benighted depart- er's godson. Sue did not. Louis Napoleon's ments, he was greeted by the population with the exclamation: "At last, the Little One behavior in this instance bears out the words of Persigny that Louis Napoleon gave his has come back!” and the Empress Eugénie was saluted with “Vive Marie Louise!” So affection to people irrespective of its being returned or not.-ALBERT D. VANDAM, Napoleon III, himself laughingly told Queen Victoria during his visit here—as Sir "Undercurrents of the Second Empire." Theodore Martin has recorded.--KARL In the middle of dinner Veron told us the BLIND, The New Century Review, December, following anecdote: On his return from 1897. visiting the French seaports, Prince Jerome went to report to the president the ovations While the Emperor Louis Napoleon was he had received and handed him the state- at Vichy lately he was taking a walk on the ment of his expenses. This the president de- banks of the Sichon and lost his way. A clined to pay, telling his uncle that he had laborer chancing to pass at the time, his already given him more than two million of majesty made the necessary inquiry of him. francs, with a pension of three hundred “Second to the right and then first to right, thousand francs a year beside, and that it was sire," said the man. “What! You know impossible for him to do more. An alterca- me?" "Yes; and have had the honor for tion ensued. Jerome lost all control over him- years past.” “Where?” “Your majesty of self and ended by saying: “You have nothing course does not remember me, but you were of the emperor about you." "You make a once the cause of my passing two days in mistake,” replied the president with perfect the black hole; for when you were at Ham composure, “I have his family about me.”— I was a soldier there and punished for pass. COUNT HORACE DE VIEL CASTEL, “Memoirs." ing you in a pound of tobacco.” “Well," said the emperor, "it shall be my turn now," Apropos of Prince Jerome the following and in a few days afterwards the man was is comparatively inédit. Napoleon III. was installed in a well-stocked tobacconist's shop. hearing the little Prince Imperial read, when -Littell's Living Age, October 5, 1861. I the child asked, "Papa, what is the differ- Napoleon II. 482 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ence between an accident and a misfortune?" buttonhole. “Keep it," said the emperor, and The emperor reflected for a moment; then, Vivier was gazetted a Knight of the Legion with as much gravity as he could command, of Honor the next morning.-Every Satur- replied, “Well, Louis, if our cousin Napoleon day, July 19, 1873. were to fall into the Seine, it would be an When public opinion clamored for the accident. If somebody pulled him out it prosecution of the author of "Madame would be a misfortune.”- EDWARD LEGGE, Bovary" the emperor consented, though very "The Empress Eugénie.” (Beaconsfield is reluctantly. He was one of the first who had said to have made a similar remark about read the book and in his inmost heart he ad- Gladstone.) mired both the author and his work. “Then The fête given by the baron [Carême) at why prosecute him, sire?” asked my uncle his château of La Ferriere to the emperor Mark. “I'll tell you why," replied the em- was above all remarkable for the quantity of peror smiling; "if we do not prosecute him game provided for the battues; at one of we shall have every cabman in Paris and in which, so ran the story, a parrot, disguised the provinces asking double fare the moment as a partridge, fell to the imperial gun, cry. an affectionate-looking couple try to step into ing, "Vive l'Empereur !"-The Quarterly Re his vehicle. Flaubert ought to have known view, October, 1881. better; if it was absolutely necessary to his One evening at dinner the emperor re- plot to have Emma and her lover drive round marked that the servants were looking at Rouen for a whole day, he ought to have made one of the windows and whispering. He | the young fellow get his carriage from a asked what was to be seen. An owl had livery stable. As it is, there is always an perched itself against the glass and remained outcry in that town that people cannot get motionless there. The ladies were in a flut- a hackney cab without being fleeced. There ter, vowing that it was a bird of evil omen will be greater scandals if we do not prose- and that it meant a misfortune. M. Filon, cute him than if we do." to whom the emperor laughingly appealed, One morning, shortly after his accession, declared that it was the bird of wisdom and my uncle found the emperor in the brightest was to be welcomed accordingly. But the of spirits; he was chuckling to himself, which incident disturbed the minds of the ladies, was not always the case. After they had been who would not be comforted by the badinage chatting a little while, the emperor said sud. of the emperor, nor by the assurances of denly: “Those priests are very funny now the young professor. On the following day and then.” “Why date, sire?” replied my at dinner the servants stared more than ever uncle, who had read a good deal and who re- at the window where the owl had appeared. membered the mot of Mirabeau, when some There was now a whole family of owls, where one told him that the National Assembly had one had been. The consternation was general been dull that day. “You are right; they are and the emperor remained grave. After din- funny always, when they are not assom- ner, when the imperial party went to the mants," assented the sovereign, who did not salon, they found the entire family of owls, mind using a popular locution when talking stuffed and ranged upon a table. The em- to his friends. “I have been wasting my peror had ordered them in the morning from breath for more than half an hour trying to the Zoological Museum. He turned the dis- persuade Sibour that I cannot remove the mal augurers into hearty laughers and en- tombs, or rather the monuments, of Jean joyed his joke with the youngest of them.- Jacques and Voltaire from the Pantheon just BLANCHARD JERROLD, “Life of Napoleon to please some of his flock.” “Why do they III." wish them removed, sire, seeing that these He met Vivier, the horn player, at Vichy | monuments do not contain a pinch of Rous- and asked him to dinner. Vivier excused seau's or Voltaire's ashes?” “That is just himself-he was traveling and had no dress what I have been telling him, but he would clothes. “We are nearly of the same size," not listen to my arguments. He simply re- said the emperor; "ask my valet Leon to lend peated that his flock felt uncomfortable in you some of my evening clothes." After din: 1 the presence of these two atheists." "How ner the emperor complimented Vivier on the did you pacify him, sire?" "I did not pacify excellent fit, adding, "Mind you restore my him at all. I got out of temper myself and property.” Vivier replied that his honesty | at last exclaimed, ‘Look you here, monsei. stopped with the restoration of the clothes | gneur, how do you think these two atheists and could no further go. He could not bring feel in the presence of your believers ?' That himself to restore the little red ribbon in the 1 settled him and he did not say another word." 483 Napoleon III. OF THE GREAT -ALBERT D. VANDAM, The New Review, without being seen by any one. Next morn- October, 1892. ing, almost before the emperor was out of bed, the ordnance officer asked to be admitted. I recall the case of a well known pub- lisher who sent the emperor a most beautiful The sprightly young matron, unable to re- strain her impatience, had cast a furtive specimen of the bookmaker's art on which glance at the picture and the jealous husband my eyes ever feasted-a Worcester's diction- had caught her in the act. She was obliged ary, printed on satin paper, soft as a baby's to give the name of the donor and she gave cheek, bound gorgeously in green morocco the name of the emperor-informing the decked with gold, with the imperial arms and young officer during the evening of what she cipher dextrously inserted at every available had done, and leaving to him the task of "set- point, gilt-edged, perfumed, a very triumph ting matters straight,” which he had not in its way. Arrived at the palace, this book much difficulty in doing, for the emperor was carelessly knocked about from one room to amiability personified and delighted in a Boc- another, cared for by nobody; until, feeling caccian joke. The general himself never ap- sorry for it, as if it were a living thing, I plied to the emperor for confirmation of his one day asked why it was so ill-treated. “Ah, diable,” He probably felt flattered at said wife's story. M. Mocquard impatiently, the sovereign having singled her out in this “these things pester us. I, for one, wish peo- way, although he himself as well as every ple would stop sending them. If you want it one else must have known by this time that you can have it.” “But will not the emperor the emperor was not prone to commit what object to my having taken it?" "Parbleu," we may euphemistically term farces pla- said the secretary, shrugging his shoulders toniques.--ALBERT D. VANDAM, “Undercur. and laughing in a manner, half droll and half rents of the Second Empire.” contemptuous, "what does the emperor of France care for Woochestaire Sauce's Dic The Duc de Tascher was a good judge of tionare?"--Harper's Magazine, September, music and had a particular horror of the 1867. mechanical piano used for dancing. When it was first introduced, he heard one morning One evening, just before dinner, an ord- the voluble notes as though some one were nance officer of the emperor, a dashing, good- skimming over the keys of a piano, and ex- looking captain of cavalry, entered the Apollo pressed his indignation to the emperor. drawing room with a semi-mysterious look of “There was a fellow playing this morning- mischief on his face. A few minutes after- I cannot imagine who it can be—who has wards he returned to a recess near the win. nimble fingers enough, but who plays like a dow, accompanied by some of his fellow of- perfect ass, without the least soul or musical ficers, all young, to whom he showed, some- feeling.” The emperor answered quietly, “I what ostentatiously, an envelope containing am that individual; I played this morning." a small engraving or woodcut, the sight of "Good heavens, sire, how could I suppose such which aroused shouts of laughter, more or a thing? I never in my life heard of your less suppressed. That, of course, was suf- playing any instrument, or caring for music.” ficient to excite the curiosity of the feinale The emperor, after enjoying his discomfiture guests, some of whom approached on tiptoe for a few moments, explained that the piano and begged to be allowed to look. The re- was mechanical and that he had simply quest being granted, they retreated more or turned the handle.--ANNA L. BICKNELL, "Life less confused, although in reality there was in the Tuileries Under the Second Empire.” nothing absolutely shocking about the pic- ture. There was, however, enough to whet After dinner the court were playing jeux the appetite of those who had been gratified de société. The question proposed was: "How with a glimpse and who were meditating a to distinguish truth from a lie." It was the journey to the window recess when the cham- emperor's turn to reply: "Nothing more sim. berlain on duty announced that dinner was ple. Open the door to both and the lie will on the table. Among these was the young be sure to enter first." At this moment the and sprightly wife of an old and rather stern folding doors were thrown open and a groom general, who was, moreover, exceedingly jeal of the chamber announced two of the min- ous. It so happened that the possessor of isters, who were seen to bow to each other the picture had to take her in to dinner, and each to decline accepting the precedence. which gave her an opportunity of preferring At last the younger of the two excellencies her request more urgently. The officer deftly | remarked that he had but recently joined the slipped the envelope into her hand and she, cabinet and that it was evident that his col. more deftly still, slipped it into her dress | league had the pas. The company, mean. Napoleon III. Napoleon Prince Imperial WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES 484 while, attracted by the singular coincidence, with it to the emperor, who signed it as it were not a little amused to perceive M. were in a dream. Such is the anecdote. It Rouher, the minister of state, enter the salon, is of serious import and, I repeat, if I had followed by M. Pinard, and their excellencies not heard it told by trustworthy lips, I would were much puzzled by the hilarity their ar- | consider it as pure invention.-PIERRE DE rival occasioned.--ANTHONY B. NORTH PEAT, LANO, "The Empress Eugénie." “Gossip from Paris.” Some of the wounded soldiers in the He is a very great smoker, often puffing a hospitals told me that they could have eas- cigarette when out riding, and smoking man; ily shot the king of Prussia, for he was so cigarettes in succession after each meal.-- much exposed on the battle-field; but that Chambers's Journal, May 14, 1870. they had strict orders not to do so, as the Canrobert and Bosquet have been made emperor was extremely anxious to take him marshals. . . . Bosquet and Canrobert were prisoner.-Chambers's Journal, November apprised of their promotion in a delicate and 19, 1870. charming manner, which aptly illustrates the NAPOLEON, Joseph Charles Paul Napoleon emperor's good nature. They were invited Bonaparte, Prince, 1822-1891. French to dinner and on their arrival found them statesman and soldier. selves alone in the dining room. Shortly af- The opinion of his own personal friends as terwards the emperor came in with two or to what his future rôle promised to be may three people and said to the generals: "I am be gathered from the answer of one belong- almost alone to-day and have asked you to ing to his intimate circle, to whom he said: come and share my solitude.” The dinner “If ever I am emperor, you shall have an passed off dully enough; they talked about important post.” “Monseigneur," was the acoustics, but during the dessert the emperor comment, in the laughing tone needful for a filled his glass and said: “Gentlemen, let us bold remark, “if ever you should be at the drink to the healths of Marshals Canrobert head of public affairs, I would (literally) and Bosquet.” The two generals, surprised take to my heels the very next day, for you and taken aback, were at first speechless. would not be easy to deal with.” He was Bosquet cried like a child and when he had not offended at the blunt frankness of the found words to thank the emperor he asked speaker, for he was acute enough to despise permission to forward the good news to his sycophants and to appreciate independence mother, who lived at Pau. The telegraph in even in those who made him understand that the Tuileries palace was placed at his dis- they would not endure his unmannerly posal and this was the despatch he sent off : ways. “Marshal Bosquet to Widow Bosquet.—My mother, pray to God for the emperor.”— His refusal to drink the health of the COUNT HORACE DE VIEL CASTEL, “Memoirs." empress—in her presence-on her birthday, is one of the many instances of the utter dis- The emperor then did not wish to go to regard of the habits and manners of a gen- war and when in the council of his ministers tleman, whilst his real feeling towards the --the crisis having reached its height [1870]- emperor was betrayed on more than one oc- the decree relative to hostilities was sub- casion. After the Pianori attempt on the mitted to him for signature, to be followed emperor's life, when Prince Napoleon came by the foreseen vote of the chambers, he re- to present his official congratulations, his fused to put his name to the terrible paper. As they insisted, he became angry, he--the face was so eloquent in its revelations of what lay below, that the empress, turning to gentle, obstinate one, as his mother called one of her ladies, whispered (in English): him-became violent, and, seizing the decree, “Look at the Prince Napoleon."-Murray's tore it in pieces and scattered the fragments on the floor. Then, exhausted, worn out as Magazine, May, 1891. much by the importunity of those who pur Of all those assembled on the occasion sued him as by the physical sufferings which [marriage of Napoleon III.) Prince Napoleon he had borne for some time, he withdrew to was the only man who wore neither uniform his bedchamber. The empress, on hearing of nor official costume of any kind. He was sim- the scene which had just taken place and of ply attired in black evening dress, as if, in: the determination of the emperor, was much deed, he were in mourning for his chance of annoyed. She was most indignant. She now | succession to the throne. But that was a became angry and, having compelled the min. | fashion which, with pretended republicanism, isters to restore the manuscript decree, she he affected during the early period of the took possession of the new document and went | empire, and the story runs that when he was 485 Napoleon III. Napoleon, Prince Imperial OF THE GREAT suddenly created a General of Division, the French nation. Not less than nine hun- though he had never served a single hour in dred thousand francs (one hundred and the army, the emperor took that course chiefly eighty thousand dollars), of which twenty in order to compel him to wear a uniform thousand dollars were paid for the young on official occasions.-LE PETIT HOMME | gentleman's first wardrobe.-LUCY H. HOOPER, ROUGE (E. A. Vizetelly), “Court Life Under Lippincott's Magazine, August, 1878. the Second Empire." On that sad second of August, when the When Prince Napoleon put into the port most wilful murder was done on that day, of Cork, so runs the story, the city was pre- when a special train took the emperor, the sided over by a chief magistrate who was prince, the marshals, and as many generals especially proud of his knowledge of French. as could be got to witness unjustifiable homi- Indeed, the legend goes, that this respectable cide to Saarbruck-the poor little nervous mayor had a way of oppressing his less child was made to direct the first mitrailleuse highly cultured townsmen by his anxiety to fired by the army of the Rhine. The shock parade his mastery of the French of Paris. to his system was more than he could bear; to The mayor suggested that a public reception old soldiers might indeed weep, but they wept should be given to Prince Napoleon, in order for sorrow when they saw the poor little to testify the sympathy which true Irishmen fellow's terror at the dreadful sound. fellow's terror The ought to have with the people of France and special train which took him out from break- the house of Bonaparte. The proposal was fast a moderately healthy youth, brought eagerly adopted; and the mayor, as was to be him back to dinner a shattered lad, hysteri- expected, undertook to deliver the address. cally afflicted with what is called St. Vitus's The ceremony was duly arranged and Prince dance; and he never was exhibited in public Napoleon appeared at the right time. Then after that time.-G. T. ROBINSON, Chambers's his worship the mayor stepped forward and Journal, March 18, 1871. delivered a long and eloquent address, spoken The Prince Imperial was, to employ a without the help of any manuscript, in what somewhat banal phrase, "quite a ladies' man,” the bystanders assumed to be the native and was in his element in the society of the tongue of the illustrious visitor. Prince Na- fair sex. It was, I think, Madame de Met- poleon listened with what Hans Breitman ternich who humorously said she would calls "a beautiful solemn smile" on his face, rather have the boy prince's opinion of a and when the address was over he delivered dress than Worth's.-EDWARD LEGGE, “The his reply in the most correct and fluent Eng- Empress Eugénie.” lish. In his opening sentences he thanked the meeting for the generous reception given The prince, if we are to credit M. de Bré, had "an innocent mania for dressing up in him, and the Mayor of Cork for the speech to which he had just listened. He felt sure, women's clothes," and it is hinted that he he said, that that speech expressed the most sometimes borrowed feminine raiment from kindly and generous sentiments of welcome; Madame Lebreton Bourbaki. but he added his deep regret that, as he never The reason for the unaccountable delay had had any opportunity of studying the we heard afterwards from one of the party noble Irish language, he was not able to fol on board. It was a lovely, hot summer day. low the words of the chief magistrate. The The prince was in tearing spirits, shouting, emotions of the mayor, and of the assembly | singing, playing pranks like a mad thing all in general, may, to use the old familiar the time. At last he suddenly came up to phrase, be more easily imagined than de | the king (of Sweden) and said he would and scribed. From that day, the story went, the must have a bath. “Impossible," said the citizens of Cork were no longer oppressed king; "the train will be waiting for us, you by the mayor's assumption of superiority as know.” No matter. He would and must, and a master of the French language.-JUSTIN forthwith began to take off his clothes. The MCCARTHY, “Reminiscences,” copyright, king then mildly suggested that he should at Harper & Brothers. least perform that operation below. But not a bit! and in another moment his imperial NAPOLEON, Eugène Louis Jean Joseph Na- highness was stripped and careening about poleon Bonaparte, 1856-1879. Prince Im- | the deck in a state of nature. Seeing him so perial of France. determined, the order was given to stop the I have spoken of the birth of the Prince vessel and almost before this could be done Imperial. It may perhaps interest the reader the prince had plunged over the side. Upon to know how much this auspicious event cost | this the Prince Royal (now King of Sweden) Narbonne, General Nelson 486 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES and some of the younger gentlemen also use when Horatio, on seeing all his companions dressed and there were soon half a dozen of staggered, came forward and offered to them in the water swimming round the yacht, brave the danger. He was accordingly the Prince Imperial jumping on their backs lowered down from their dormitory by soms and riding them like so many dolphins. Nor sheets tied together, and, thus, at consid- was it until they had had some half an hour erable risk, secured the prize. But the bold- of this sport that the vessel was allowed to ness of the act was all the young adventurer proceed. – EDWARD LEGGE, “The Empress regarded; for, on being hauled up again, Eugenie.” he shared the pears among his school-fel- NARBONNE, Count Louis de, 1755-1813. lows, without reserving any for himself; and French soldier and statesman. added, “I only took them because every He was then very much in love with the other boy was afraid.”—PERCY, “Anecdotes." Marquise de Coigny and his unsuccessful We were talking of Lord Nelson and some rival was M. d'Houdetot. One evening he instances were mentioned of the egotism and was coming from her house, holding a rose vanity that derogated from his character. she had just given him. M. d'Houdetot “Why,” said the duke [of Wellington), “I rushed on him and, without further explana am not surprised at such instances, for Lord tion, obliged him to draw his sword. Not | Nelson was, in different circumstances, two wishing to drop his flower, he put the stalk quite different men, as I myself can vouch, between his lips, but, in the ardor of the | though I only saw him once in my life and combat, he let it fall. While parrying, he then for, perhaps, an hour. It was soon after stooped to pick it up. This unexpected move I returned from India. I went to the Colo- ment threw his opponent off his guard and nial office in Downing street and there I was his thrust missed the count's shoulder. M. shown into the little waiting room on the d'Houdetot received a wound that disabled right hand, where I found, also waiting to see him for six months, while M. de Narbonne the Secretary of State, a gentleman, who, owed his life to the flower.-COUNT RAMBU from his likeness to his pictures and the loss TEAU, “Memoirs." of an arm, I immediately recognized as Lord Among the flattering addresses which the Nelson. He could not know who I was, but einperor received, I cannot pass over un he entered at once into conversation with noticed the speech of M. de la Chaise, Prefect me, if I can call it conversation, for it was of Arras, who said: “God made Napoleon almost all on his side and all about himself and then rested.” This occasioned Comte and, in reality a style so vain and so silly Louis de Narbonne, who was not yet attached as to surprise and almost disgust me. I to the imperial system, to remark, “that it suppose something that I happened to say would have been well if God had rested a made him guess that I was somebody and he little sooner.”-FALVELET DE BOURIENNE, went out of the room for a moment, I have "Memoirs." no doubt to ask the office keeper who I was, for when he came back he was an altogether NELSON, Horatio, Viscount Nelson and Duke different man, both in manner and matter. of Bronte, 1758-1805. English admiral. All that I had thought a charlatan style had The first time I ever saw Nelson was in the vanished and he talked of the state of this drawing room at the Admiralty; and a most country and of the aspect and probabilities of uncouth creature I thought him. He was affairs on the Continent with good sense, and just returned from Teneriffe, after having lost a knowledge of subjects, both at home and his arm. He looked so sickly it was painful abroad, that surprised me equally and more to see him; and his general appearance was agreeably than the first part of our inter- that of an idiot; so much so, that when he view had done; in fact, he talked like an spoke, and his wonderful mind broke forth, officer and a statesman. The Secretary of it was a sort of surprise that riveted my whole State kept us long waiting and certainly, for attention.—LADY FRANCES SIELLY, “Diary.” the last half or three-quarters of an hour, I Lord Nelson was from his infancy re do not know that I ever had a conversation markable for his disinterestedness and in that interested me more. Now, if the Sec- trepidity. When at school at North Wal retary of State had been punctual and ad- sham, the master, the Rev. Mr. Jones, had mitted Lord Nelson in the first quarter of some remarkably fine pears, which his schol an hour, I should have had the same im- ars had often wished for; but the attempt pression of a light and trivial character that to gather them was in their opinions haz other people have had, but luckily I saw ardous, that no one would undertake it; enough to be satisfied that he was really a 489 Nelson OF THE GREAT to see her, said to Mr. Elliot: "Sir, if there his breath: “Damn Mrs. Siddons.”-E. HAL- is any difficulty of that sort, Lady Hamilton | LAM MOORHOUSE, "Nelson in England.” will knock the elector down, and, damn me, The Approaching End I'll knock him down, too.” She was not in- Nelson often told Lord Holland that he vited at the beginning to Madame de Loss's, upon which Lord Nelson sent his excuse and felt a pain in the arm he had lost, "which," then Mr. Elliot persuaded Madame de Loss added the gallant warrior, "is a clear proof to invite her. October 9.-A great breakfast of the immortality of the soul and sets the at the Elliots, given to the Nelson party. question completely at rest."-Cornhill Maga- Lady Hamilton repeated her Attitudes with zine, March, 1877. great effect. All the company, except their We spent half the afternoon in Mr. party and myself, went away before dinner, West's gallery, where he had arranged all the after which Lady Hamilton, who declared pictures he still owns. . . . He told us a she was passionately fond of champagne, took singular anecdote about Nelson, while we such a portion as astonished me. Lord Nel were looking at the picture of his death. son was not behindhand; called more vocif Just before he went to sea for the last time, erously than usual for songs in his own West sat next to him at a large entertain- praise and, after many bumpers, proposed ment given him here and in the course of the queen of Naples, adding: “She is my dinner Nelson expressed to Sir William Ham- queen; she is queen to the backbone.” Poor ilton his regret that in his youth he had not Mr. Elliot, who was anxious the party should acquired some taste for art and some power not expose themselves more than they had of discrimination. “But,” said he, turning done already, and wished to get over the to West, “there is one picture whose power last day as well as he had done over the rest, I do feel. I never pass a paint shop where endeavored to stop the effusion of champagne, your 'Death of Wolfe' is in the window with- and effected it with some difficulty, but not out being stopped by it.” West, of course, till the lord and lady, or, as he calls them, made his acknowledgments and Nelson went Antony and Moll Cleopatra, were pretty far on to ask why he had painted no more like gone. I was so tired, I returned home soon it. “Because, my lord, there are no more after dinner, but not until Cleopatra had subjects.” “Damn it," said the sailor, "I talked to me a great deal of her doubts didn't think of that," and asked him to take whether the queen would receive her, add a glass of champagne. "But, my lord, I ing: “I care little about it. I would much fear your intrepidity will yet furnish me sooner she would settle half Sir W.'s pension such a scene; and, if it should, I shall cer- on me.” After I went, Mr. Elliot told me tainly avail myself of it.” “Will you ?" said she acted Nina intolerably ill and danced the Nelson, pouring out bumpers and, touching tarantola During her acting Lord Nelson his glass violently against West's, “Will you, expressed his admiration by the Irish sound Mr. West? Then I hope I shall die in the of astonished applause, which no written next battle.” He sailed a few days after and character can imitate, and by crying out now the result is on the canvas before us.—GEORGE and then: “Mrs. Siddons be damned.” Lady TICKNOR, “Journal," June 23, 1815. Hamilton expressed great anxiety to go to Nelson never went into a battle without court, and Mrs. Elliot assured her it would a full sense of its danger and always seems not amuse her, and that the elector never gave dinners or suppers. “What!” cried she, rather to have prepared his mind for death than to have banished the thought of it. On "no guttling ?” Sir William also this even. the morning of the 21st [Trafalgar] he wrote ing performed feats of activity, hopping a prayer in his journal, followed by an ex- around the room on his backbone, his arms, traordinary memoir, in which he solemnly legs, star and ribbon all flying about in the air.—CORNELIA KNIGHT, “Autobiography, bequeathed Lady Hamilton as a legacy to his king and country. He left also to the benef- quoted largely from Mrs. Col. St. George's “Journal." icence of his country his adopted daugh- ter, desiring she would use in future his We can imagine her full-throated sing name only.—Quarterly Review, February, ing, with every look and gesture directed to. 1810. wards the admiral, who admired her so sim. It was in the bay of Naples that Nelson ply and whole-heartedly that on one occasion, received from Captain Hallowell the extraor- when she was giving a representation of the dinary present of a coffin made from the famous Attitudes and, as the highest praise, timbers of L’Orient, which were recovered had been compared with Mrs. Siddons, he after the ship blew up. So far was the ad- walked up and down saying fretfully under 'miral from thinking this was a disagreeable Nelson Nicholas I. 490 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES or an ominous gift that he prized it highly tain Blackwood."--GEORGE C. THOMPSON, and had it placed upright in his cabin. Such London Times, June 26, 1900. was the temper of his mind that a memento NEY, Michel, Duke of Elchingen, Prince of mori like this agreed with his humor and he Moskawa, 1769-1815. French general. did not seem quite to comprehend the oblique If any officers talked before him looks which his officers cast at the gloomy of their chest. “You may look at it, gentlemen, but noble birth, of the pecuniary allowance they you won't have it," was his remark. He did, received from their families, or of their ex- however, at last consent to put it out of pectations of hereditary wealth, he would sight, but he himself did never, in the figura- say: "I was less fortunate than you, gentle- tive sense, lose sight of it. It was carefully men; I received nothing from my family and preserved until it was wanted and he lies I thought myself rich at Metz when I had in it now in the crypt of St. Paul's. --Black- two loaves of bread on my shelf."- wood's Magazine, May, 1877. "Memoirs,” published by his family. His lordship came to me on the poop It was on this day that I heard of the death of Alfred de Noailles, aide-de-camp of and, after ordering certain signals to be made, about a quarter to noon, he said: “Mr. the Prince de Neufchâtel. He had been killed Pascoe, I wish to say to the fleet, 'England the previous evening near the Duke of Reg- confides, that every man will do his duty,'" gio. Up to this moment I had lost none of and he added, "you must be quick, for I have my friends and this was a source of real one more to make, which is for close action." grief to me. The only consolation Marshal I replied, "If your lordship will permit me Ney offered to me was that my friend's turn to substitute the word “expects' for 'confides' had apparently come, and that, after all, it the signal will be sooner completed, because was better that we should mourn his loss the word 'expects' is in the vocabulary, but than he ours. On similar occasions he had the word 'confides' must be spelt.” His evinced a similar indifference. Once I heard lordship replied in haste and with seeming him ask an unfortunate wounded soldier, who satisfaction, "That will do, Pascoe; make it | was entreating that he would order him directly.”_"Memoirs of the Life of Admiral carried off the field: “What would you have Codrington.” me do? How can I help your being a victim of war?” And the marshal passed on. Yet With regard to Judge Baylis's assertion he was neither a harsh nor a cruel man, but that the only suggestion of Nelson's signal the habits of war had hardened his heart. officer was the substitution of "expects" for Possessed with the idea that every soldier "confides”-certainly not “England” for “Nel- ought to die on the field of battle, it seemed son” (Times, June 16)--my grandfather, a matter of course that he should fulfil his Captain George Browne, who died at Bridge- destiny and we have seen that he set no more water in 1856, during the latter part of his value on his own life than on the lives of life confidently asserted that the request to others.--GENERAL FEZENSAC, “A Journal of make the latter substitution, on the ground the Russian Campaign of 1812." of economy in signaling, was made by him. An officer was one day making a report ... I have in my possession a manuscript note made by the late Captain Karslake. ... to him; a cannon ball passed so close to them that the officer bent his head as if by instinct After giving some particulars of the officers of the Victory, the note continues as follows: to avoid it; nevertheless, he continued his re- ... "Saw Lord N., Captain Blackwood and port without betraying any emotion. "Very some other captains of the frigates in earnest well," said the marshal, “but another time conversation together and a slip of paper in don't make so low a bow."--"Memoirs." the hands of the former (which Captain He was the last of the Grand Army of Blackwood had looked at) yet I have no Russia that left the country. A few days af. recollection that I ever saw it pass through ter a man marched into the house of General other hands till it was given to Pasco, who, Dumas at Gumbinnen, wrapped in a large after referring to the telegraph signal book, pelisse, with a long beard half consumed by took it back to his lordship and it was then fire, and his face begrimed with gunpowder. that, I believe, the substitution of the words “Who are you?” said Dumas. “I am the rear took place; but I think (but not sure) the guard of the Grand Army," replied the un- substitution was 'expects' for the word 're couth stranger; "I am Marshal Ney."-W. B. quires,' the latter word not being in the tele REED, “Napoleon and the Marshals of the graph book; and I think the word 'England' | Empire." had been previously substituted for Nelson' The English army will bear testimony to for the same reason at the suggestion of Cap- ' his solicitude in that particular. Obliged, 491 Nelson Nicholas I. OF THE GREAT after the battle of Corunne, to embark in your royal highness to give me a sign that haste they were unable to embark all the I am not totally indifferent to you. You women by whom they were followed and in have a little ring on your finger, the pog. consequence fifty were left on the shore where session of which would render me happy. I they were wandering about without protec beseech you to give me the ring.” “What! tion, exposed to the insults of the soldiers. Give a ring at the dinner table, and in the No sooner was Ney informed of the situation presence of all these people?” “Let me see: than he hastened to come to their succor; he press it into this piece of bread and give it assembled them, assured them of his protec to me." And press the ring into the piece tion and directed that they should be placed of bread she did and gave it to the future in a female convent. But the Superior re emperor. Nicholas took an early oppor- fused to admit them; she positively refused tunity to leave the hall and, exhuming the to have anything to do with heretics; no en treasure from its wheaten tomb, discovered treaties could persuade her to extend to these an inscription on the inner side in French unfortunates the rites of hospitality. “Be it and running to the following effect: “The 80,” replied the marshal; “I understand your Empress of Russia.” He is said to have worn scruples; and, therefore, instead of the the keepsake for the rest of his days, at- Protestants, you shall furnish lodgings to two tached to a chain around his neck, the ring companies of Catholic grenadiers." Neces being of course too small for any of his sity at length bent the hard-hearted abbess colossal fingers. The future empress, it and these unhappy women, for the most part seems, had been unconsciously wearing for wives and daughters of officers or non-com some time the emblem of her future great- missioned officers, were received into the con ness.—The Eclectic Magazine, December, vent.-"Memoirs." 1861. When Ney was urged by his counsel to In his life of Nicholas I. Schilder re- disclaim the jurisdiction of France on his lates the following anecdote: One day at trial, as his birthplace, Saarre-Louis, had mass the Grand Duchess Alexandra Feodo- been transferred to Prussia, he indignantly rovna (wife of Nicholas) was taken ill and rejected a plea, however sure of success, which fainted. Nicholas practically carried her involved the forfeiture of his most cherished out of the church in his arms and brought title of honor, determined to die as he had her into the apartments occupied by the lived, a Frenchman.-The Gentleman's Maga- grand-ducal pair. On returning from his zine, February, 1843. private rooms he approached Daragan, the NICHOLAS I., 1796-1855. Emperor of Rus page in waiting, and asked him: "How old sia. are you?” “Seventeen," the page replied. Lover and Husband “Well, look here," the grand duke continued The late Empress of Russia, when a girl, in great good humor, “I am four years older received a very small and antique ring from than you, and already married and shall soon her governess as a present. About a year be a father.” With these words he embraced after the occurrence the court received a visit Daragan, while his countenance was radiant from the Grand Duke Nicholas, the brother with happiness. From that time forth the of the Emperor Alexander, and who, at that condition of the grand duchess became a time was not the heir-expectant to the crown. subject of discussion at court.-E. A. B. The grand duke saw the princess and, with HODGETTS, “The Court of Russia in the Nine- a quick resolve native to his disposition, im teenth Century.” mediately determined to ask her in mar- In former days when she was absent for riage. One day, as he was seated by her side her health, the emperor has posted through at the royal dinner table, he spoke of his Europe to surprise her in her winter quar- forthcoming departure, adding that it de- pended upon her whether or not his stay in ters. Ten years ago she had a country house Berlin should be prolonged. “What shall I at the gates of Palermo, and, the door of her chamber being opened one morning with un- do then to influence your intentions ?” was the usual noise, the czar entered, having traveled reply of the smiling princess. “You must incognito from Russia for the mere gratifi- not refuse to receive my addresses," imme- cation of this interview.-Quarterly Review, diately returned the outspoken Nicholas. “You ask much.” “I ask even more. You March, 1855. ought to give me some encouragement in my When in 1836 the Winter Palace was endeavors to please you." "That is still burned, being informed that the fire was more difficult. Besides, the moment is not approaching his private cabinet, and when well adapted to ask for a favor.” “I beg' asked what he wished to be saved in it, he Nicholas I. 492 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES answered: "Only my portfolio; nothing else." which he always slept.—THEODORE MARTIN, It contained the letters of the empress, which "Life of the Prince Consort." she wrote to him during their engagement. The passion for governing grew into a -SAMUEL M. SCHMUCKER, “Life of Nicho disease with him. It became a mental mal- las I.” ady; in fact, it was his peculiar idiosyncrasy, The cabinet, in which he received his to introduce uniformity, regularity and unity ministers, was situated over the boudoir of into every possible department of Russian the empress. She always remained in this life and activity. It had become his mono- room during the hours of ministerial audi- | mania. Once he visited the botanical gar- ences. Both rooms were connected by an dens of the celebrated Professor Ledebuhr. interior winding staircase. The empress He observed that all the flower pots were not could easily overhear any noise in the room of the same size and color and said to the overhead and as soon as she noticed that the savant: “These flower pots ought to be all voice of the emperor rose to an angry tone, alike,” meaning that they should look like she would call: "Nicholas! Nicholas!” who, soldiers on parade. “How could that be?” hearing the voice of his fair conjugal moni- responded the learned professor, "unless the tress, would run down stairs and, having plants were all cut down to the same size?” calmed his wrath, would return to work. Nicholas replied: "Well, then, have them cut Putnam's Magazine, June, 1855. down. I like to see them all alike; they look He was very fond of his wife and very much handsomer when they are all uniform jealous. Her majesty was quite aware of this than when they are not.”—REV. HENRY and, unfortunately, very mischievous. When CHRISTMAS, “Nicholas and Russia." ever, therefore, she wished to get rid of an One day the czar rose to look for a pri- officer who displeased her, she commanded vate paper lying in his bureau. He could him to dance with her and, so sure as he did not, for some minutes, find it and became 80, he was sent to the Caucasus.-E. C. quite impatient. During all this interval, to GRENVILLE, The Swiss Times, 1881. each of the letters read by his secretary, he answered: “Refused.” At length, having The Autocrat found the paper for which he was searching, Charles Murray tells us in his journal he answered to every one of the letters which that on this day, June 2, the castle was followed: “Granted.” When the task was transformed into a Tower of Babel, the em concluded the secretary said: “Will your peror having brought in his suite ten more majesty permit me to make an observation?” servants than Count Orloff had already men “Certainly; what is it?” “Just now your tioned. “All these fellows," says the Master majesty was looking for a paper and while of the Household, "wanted to have rooms so doing you refused some dozen petitions. close to their master's; and when some of Will your majesty permit me to read them them found that they could not be lodged again?” “No; I refused to grant them; it in the castle, and others that they would be | was the will of God. It was fated so to a hundred yards distant, they spluttered and happen. I have no doubt decided them swore and jabbered in every discordant dia rightly and I maintain what I have done." lect of the Lithuanian and Slavonic tongues. - SAMUEL M. SCHMUCKER, “Life of Nicho- After preparing a grand state bed for the las I.” emperor, we were shown by his first valet a The general was considered a very stupid great sack seven feet long and four broad, man and was the czar's favorite butt, so his which we were requested to fill with clean majesty was pleased one night at a court straw, that being the only bed on which his ball to send him off in search of a thief who imperial limbs ever reposed.-FITZGERALD had stolen the colossal statue of Peter the MOLLOY, “Victoria Regina." Great. The police-master, finding the statue "I was told," adds Stockmar, “that at in its usual place, as any one else would have bedtime a leathern sack was stuffed with hay | expected, felt mortified at the laugh raised from the stables by his people, and that on | against him and determined to be revenged this he slept. Our Englishmen pronounced in his own way. Shortly afterwards, there- this affectation.” Affectation or not, the em fore, he announced to his imperial master peror adhered to the practise through life. that the Winter Palace was on fire. The The first thing his valets did, on being shown czar rose hastily to witness the conflagration his bedroom at Windsor Castle, was to send and, on finding that the police-master had to the stables for some trusses of clean straw, | ventured to retaliate on his august self, sent to stuff the emperor's leathern case, which him to reflect on his indiscretion to Siberia.- formed the mattress of his camp bed, on' E. C. GRENVILLE, The Swiss Times, 1881. 493 Nicholas I. OF THE GREAT The wilfulness of his despotic natureligious scrupulousness, such was his terror could not endure that the theodolite and of the possible results of his disobedience.-- spirit-level should point to any conclusions | WILLIAM STIGAND, Belgravia, April, 1870. but such as he chose to adopt. When the en- The emperor, while walking one day, gineers had studied the plans for the railway met a Frenchman smoking a cigar. He ap- from St. Petersburg to Moscow, they were proached and asked him whether he was not laid before the emperor, and he was asked aware that it was contrary to law to smoke which towns he gave preference for the pas- in the street. The Gaul, not knowing by sage of the line. For reply he dipped one of whom he was addressed, replied that he had his fingers into the inkstand and drew a been in the habit of smoking in the streets straight line from St. Petersburg to Moscow of every other city. The emperor, who de- on the map of Russia. Engineers and minis- tests a Frenchman, left him and proceeded ters all exclaimed that the thing was impos- to the police station near at hand, and there sible; that the railway would be taken gave directions as to the disposition of the through a desert. Nicholas smiled disdain- smoker. The latter was immediately placed fully and turning to a courtier present- by force in a kibitke, which is a small known for his obsequiousness to the imperial will-asked if he would undertake the task wagon without springs of any kind, and con- veyed over a thousand miles of bad road, of carrying out his plans. The line was to the Turkish frontier, where he was dis- made accordingly in the trace of this ink- missed with permission to follow the Parisian smudge of the emperor. Novgorod, Twer and fashions.-MARQUIS DE CUSTINE, "Russia in other most important places were left en- 1839.” tirely out of the line of the route; the road was laid through forests and morasses and The present Emperor Nicholas some time immense solitudes.-WILLIAM STIGAND, Bel since, driving along in his droshky, observed gravia, April, 1870. an English gentleman move down another street, apparently, as he thought, to avoid The emperor was talking to a foreign him. He sent an officer to ask why he had ambassador, when a chamberlain approached done so when the emperor was coming. The and invited the latter to "do her imperial answer was that he "did not see his imperial highness the Grand Duchess of Leuchtenberg, majesty." "Then desire him to wear spec- the honor of dancing with her the next quad tacles in future,” was the immediate com- rille.” The ambassador regarded the emperor mand, with which the delinquent was forced with astonishment, who said: “Go and dance to comply during the remainder of his resi- with my daughter; we will continue our con- dence in St. Petersburg, much to his annoy. versation after the quadrille.” As soon as ance and the amusement of his friends, for he the minister had turned his back, Nicholas was a remarkably well-looking man and seized the chamberlain by the arm and said: | piqued himself on his clear sight.-J. W. “Animal, stay here.” The unfortunate cour COLE, "Russia and the Russians." tier seemed turned to stone as the emperor went on: “Triple blockhead! I did nothing. [The czar speaking of his In the first victory over the revolt at his accession.] I place, you might have chosen another mo- said to the soldiers: "Return to your ranks," ment for performing the mission of my daughter. In the second place, you gave her and, as they defiled before me, I cried: "On the wrong title. your knees”-all obeyed. That which made She is not the imperial highness the Grand Duchess of Leuchten- me feel strong was that the moment before I had resigned myself to death. I am thank- berg, but her imperial highness the Grand ful for the success I had, but I am not proud Duchess Marie Nicolovna. In the third place, it is the princess, hearest thou, who does her of it, for I had no merit in the matter.- partners the honor to dance with them.” MARQUIS DE CUSTINE, “Russia in 1839.” "Pardon, pardon, sire," cried the chamber While the emperor was in Moscow wit. lain with a piteous mien. “No; I will be | nessing a performance of “Lucia di Lammer- without pity for so gross a fault," said Nich- | moor” at the splendid opera house, one of the olas, shaking him violently by the arm. largest in the world, a fire broke out and "These are my orders: After the lights are the theater was burned to the ground. The out, thou shalt remain here until nine o'clock emperor calmly told the governor-general: to-morrow morning and keep on walking up "I shall return here next year the same and down the room, crying out 'Ja Dourak! | day; I shall expect to find the opera house Ja Dourak !'” (I am a brute! I am al rebuilt exactly as it was before, and I shall brute!) The unfortunate chamberlain car-| listen to a performance of 'Lucia' by the ried out his punishment with the most re. ' same company," and he was obeyed.-E. A. B. Nicholas I. 494 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES HODGETTS, “The Court of Russia in the Nine The following trait of Nicholas deserves teenth Century.” to be recorded; I had it from the best author. During an interview which Martineff, the ity. It is known that the Persians have of comedian and mimic, had succeeded in ob- late years endeavored to introduce European taining with the prince (Volhonsky, high- tactics into their armies, yet with so little success that the Russian troops opposed to steward), the emperor walked into the room unexpectedly, yet with a design, as was them have found little difference in their soon made evident. Telling the actor that mode of fighting. Some months before the he had heard of his talents, and should like capture of Erivan by the Russians some hun. to see a specimen of them, he bade him dreds of these Perso-European soldiers were mimic the old minister. The feat was per- made prisoners, when the emperor desired formed with so much gusto, that the em- that a certain number of them should be sent peror laughed immoderately and then, to the to St. Petersburg, where he had them dressed horror of the poor actor, desired to have in the uniforms of one of his regiments of himself "taken off.” “ 'Tis physically impos- the guards and ordered that they might be sible," pleaded Martineff. “Nonsense,” said trained and instructed like them. He even Nicholas; “I insist on its being done.” Find- took care that their clothing should be of ing himself on the horns of a dilemma, the better materials and their food of the best mimic took heart of grace and, with a kind and from time to time his majesty would promptitude and presence of mind that prob- go to see them maneuver in order to judge ably saved him, buttoned his coat over his of their progress. When he found them well breast, expanded his chest, threw up his head trained he sent them back to the shah with and, assuming the imperial part to the best this message: “Tell your sovereign that if of his power, strode across the room and back; he really wishes to introduce the modern then, stopping opposite the minister, he cried, European system of tactics and military dis- in the exact tone and manner of the czar: cipline into his armies he may safely take “Volhonsky, pay Monsieur Martineff one thou- you as his models and that he may form sand silver roubles." The emperor for a mo- as many such as he pleases by applying to ment was disconcerted, but, recovering him- his immediate neighbors instead of employ. self, with a faint smile ordered the money ing some renegade officers or runaway adven- paid. — "Harrison's Notes of a Nine Years' turers from distant countries.”—A. B. GRAN- Residence in Russia.” VILLE, “St. Petersburg in 1828." After some preliminary words of warn- The Emperor Nicholas invited Liszt to ing the dreadful news was imparted that "the perform at a court entertainment given spe- Russian army was in retreat.” “Thou liest," cially in his honor. The great pianist com- cried Nicholas, with a terrible explosion of menced, but in the middle of the piece un- anger. "Sire ." "Thou liest; my soldiers fortunately his eye fell upon the emperor, never retreat.” “Sire, I have told the truth.” who, instead of listening to the wonderful “Thou liest! Thou liest!" retorted the czar execution, was engaged in conversation with and, with an eye flashing with anger, with one of his aides-de-camp. The artist went contracted quivering lips and with uplifted on playing, but in a somewhat exasperated hand he rushed upon the military courier and state of mind; the emperor went on talking. tore his epaulettes violently from his shoul- Liszt could endure it no longer and suddenly ders. “Go; thou art now but a soldier.” stopped. The court circle looked at one an- The wretched colonel, pale with shame, other in astonishment; the czar sent to ask stified his rage and his tears and went out what had happened. “When the emperor with despair in his soul. The emperor called speaks,” replied Liszt, "every one should be him back, however, from the staircase, asked silent." Next morning, the czar, who per- pardon for his violence and offered to make fectly understood the hint, sent the great the unfortunate officer his aide-de-camp, but pianist a magnificent diamond pin.—ANTHONY the colonel declined, saying: "My epaulettes B. North PEAT, “Gossip from Paris.” and my honor went together.” “Thou art On one occasion, in riding along the right,” said Nicholas as he paced up and down streets of the capital, he saw a young noble- the room like a strong lion. “I cannot re man, named Jacovloff, promenading and pair the insult I have inflicted on you. Ah, dressed in the extreme of Parisian foppish- we are both unhappy! I defeated! Go, quit | ness. On his head was a small, peaked hat, my empire; we shall never see each other resembling a flower pot reversed; a hand- again. I know not which of us has in- kerchief was tied around his neck, of flaming flicted the most pain on the other."-WIL color, and with a gigantic bow; a cloak no LIAM STIGAND, Belgravia, April, 1870. ' larger than a cape was thrown over his shoul. 495 Nicholas I. OF THE GREAT ders; his chin was decorated with a beard | tallow for the imperial nose. In the history trimmed à la Henri Quartre; he carried an of the world no dearer cold in the head can immense knotted club in his hand; a glass be found than that of the Empress Catherine was stuck in one corner of his eye, to which | in 1790.-WILLIAM STIGAND, Belgravia, was attached a very broad black ribbon; and April, 1870. a fierce-looking bulldog followed at his heels. Accordingly it is stated that he formed As Nicholas rode by he stopped and, ad a collection of all the works and pamphlets, dressing the dandy, said: “In God's name, and even of the numberless newspaper ar- who are you?” He answered: “Please your ticles published in all languages, in every highness, my name is Save Savietch quarter of the globe, in which he was spoken Jacovloff.” “Indeed, Save Savietch, I'm de- of either favorably or the reverse. This lighted to make your acquaintance; just step curious collection consisted at his death of up and take a seat here beside me.” The several hundreds of volumes and portfolios.-- dandy dropped his club and began to enter Quarterly Review, March, 1855. the carriage. “Oh, no,” said Nicholas; "Save The Emperor Nicholas asked him (King Savietch, pick up your club." He complied Frederick William IV.) to send two corporals and they rode direct to the imperial palace. of the Prussian Guard for the purpose of Save Savietch, on entering, began to divest performing a certain massage treatment pre- himself of his hat and cloak. “Don't do scribed by the doctors, which was to be car- that,” said Nicholas; "come on just as you ried out on the back of the patient while he are. Pray, my dear,” said he to the grand lay on his stomach. He added: "I can al- duchess, “do you know this animal?" "No," ways manage my Russians when I can look replied she, bursting into a fit of laughter. them in the face, but on my back and with- “Then allow me to inform you that this is out eyes I should not like them to come Save Savietch Jacovloff. What do you think near me.” The corporals were sent confi- of him? Is he not a pretty fellow?” The dentially and were employed and handsomely beau, half dead with shame and terror, paid. This shows how, in spite of the re- begged permission to retire, and no more ligious devotion of the Russian people to appeared in his outré costume on the Neff- their czar, the Emperor Nicholas did not sky-Prospect-the Broadway of St. Peters- absolutely trust his personal safety in a burg - SAMUEL M. SCHMUCKER, "Life of Nich- tête-à-tête even to the ordinary man among olas I.” his subjects; and it is a sign of great strength In all the departments the thefts and of character that up to the very end of his peculations committed daily in the palace life he did not allow himself to be depressed were enormous in extent and ridiculous in by these feelings. — PRINCE BISMARCK, pretext-witness the charge for the tallow "Thoughts and Recollections.” which was purchased in 1790 to rub the The constitution of the emperor is ex. nose of the Empress Catherine when she cellent, but, as he treats it like an enemy, had a cold. The court doctor having pre and in spite of his age does not deny him- scribed this homely and old-fashioned remedy self any excess, he often shakes this mag. to her majesty one cold day eighty years nificent edifice. At the period of which I ago, purchase was made of some tallow and [Dr. Mandt] am speaking he was suffering a charge entered in the palace books of ten with an obstinate indisposition of which roubles. In 1850, the Emperor Nicholas, the cause remained unknown. My enemies, while turning over carelessly the books of my friends and, above all, my brother physi- his household, perceived this charge entered cians, took advantage of this to charge me, that very day: “For the cure of his majes first, with want of foresight, then with ig- ty's cold-tallow, ten roubles.” As he had norance and then with poisoning. At that no recollection of a cold the day before, he critical juncture I was summoned by the was somewhat surprised; but his surprise grand duchess Helen, who received me with turned to stupefaction when, on turning a countenance at once cold and stern. She back to the beginning of the book, he found inquired how the emperor was and, without every day the same invariable charge: "For waiting for an answer, added that she was the cure of his majesty's cold--tallow, ten forewarned and would abandon that august roubles.” Further investigation was made health neither to ignorance, if there were and it was found that since the day of the ignorance, nor to treason, if there were date of the Empress Catherine's cold in treason. She then motioned to me to re- 1790, for more than half a century, the house-| tire. On reaching home I was summoned to hold expenses of the palace had been bur- | wait upon her husband, the Grand Duke dened with a charge of ten roubles a day for Michael; his agitation was extreme and he Nicholas I. North, Lord 496 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES rushed towards me. I remained motionless would your enemies have said, for you have and, instead of strangling me, as I expected, enemies and they are numerous ?” “They he contented himself with putting his fist in would have asserted subsequently what they my face, exclaiming: "Traitor!” I respect insinuated previously—they would have fully begged that he would give me the called me Mandt, the poisoner.” “And that means of repelling an odious accusation by | thought did not stop you," and he held out acquainting me with the error which had his hand to me.—Quarterly Review, March, suggested it. “You act a virtuous man," he 1855. exclaimed; "you play the philosopher, the NORTH, Frederick, Earl of Guilford, 1732- stoic, but I will not suffer myself to be de- 1792. English statesman. ceived by this jugglery. The health of the emperor is in your hands; you are answer- Every one knows the story of a gentleman's able to me for it with your life. On the asking Lord North who “that frightful day of that precious health being endangered, woman" was and his lordship answering: your learned head would adhere to your "That is my wife.” The other, to repair shoulders by a thread. Not a word, sir; his blunder, said that he did not mean her, understand and go.” And I withdrew, pur- but that monster next to her. "Oh," said sued by his threats. In my absence the Lord North, “that monster is my daughter." emperor had sent for me. I found him alone, With this story, Frederick Robinson, in his stretched upon an easy chair, his lion-like usual absent enthusiastic way, was one day head weighed down by suffering, his color entertaining a lady whom he sat next to at leaden, his air gloomy. He cast on me a dinner, and lo! the lady was Lady Charlotte penetrating glance and, after some minutes Lindsay, the monster in question.-JOHN of chilling silence, inquired how I found him. WILSON CROKER, “Correspondence and I felt his pulse, which was strong and | Diaries." agitated; his tongue was bad, his general Lord North, an easy-going man of the state alarming. "Well, sir?” said the em world, used often to sit in the House asleep, peror; he always used to call me by my name or appearing to sleep. On one occasion, and this alteration boded no good. “Sire, when Colonel Barre brought forward a mo- your majesty has oppression and fever; it tion on the navy, Lord North said to a will be necessary to take an emetic.” At friend at his side: “We are going to have the word “emetic” the emperor raised his a long, tedious speech, from the very be- head abruptly—“An emetic! You never pre ginning, not omitting Drake and the Spanish scribed one for me before.” I went into the | Armada. Let me sleep and awaken me when laboratory adjoining his study and soon after he comes near our own times.” His friend returned with the dose; it was not long before at length gave him a nudge. “Where are it acted, but I was not satisfied with the we?” said North. “At the battle of La Hogue, result. Another emetic appeared to me to be my lord.” “Oh, my friend, you have woke necessary and, after it had taken effect, the me a century too soon," was the reply, and emperor raised his pallid countenance and he turned off again.-The Leisure Hour, said to me in a tone of suppressed wrath: April, 1895. "Is that all?" "No, sire; for I must have bile.” “That is to say, you must have my On one occasion, interposing in a quar- rel, he observed that there was often too bowels. Be it so, but remember this, I will much readiness to take offense. “That is not have" (and he pronounced the word "will" my own case," he added. “This evening one in a manner to give it a threatening mean. member who spoke of me called me 'that ing), “I will have this one produce an ef- thing called a minister.' Well, to be sure,” fect.” Fully sensible of the danger and the continued Lord North, patting his ample responsibility, I trebled the dose; the vomit- sides, "I am an unwieldy thing; the honor. ing was instantaneous and complete. He inquired whether I was satisfied. able member, therefore, when he called me a “Your thing said what was true and I could not majesty is completely out of danger," an- be angry with him. But when he added swered I and we parted. On the following *called a minister,' he called me that thing day I found the emperor standing up and which of all things he himself most wished strong. “Do you know, Mandt,” said he, to be and therefore I take it as a compli- “that yesterday, while you were administer- ment.”—LORD MAHON, "History of England ing the medicine to me, I believed I was poi- soned." "I knew it, sire.” “You knew it and from the Peace of Utrecht.” you had the courage to advise me to take an Lord North, at a city dinner, having an- emetic?” “The state of your majesty re- nounced the receipt of intelligence of an ad- quired it.” “But if it had operated ill, what' vantage gained over the “rebels," and, being 497 Nicholas I. North, Lord OF THE GREAT taken to task by Charles Fox and Colonel on America, an indignant member thundered Barre, who were present, for applying such forth a proposal for having him impeached. language to “our fellow subjects in America," “Alas,” said his lordship, waked by the noise, exclaimed, with the inimitable talent for "allow me at least the criminal's usual priv. good-humored raillery which distinguished | ilege--a night of rest before execution.”- him: “Well, then to please you, I will call JOIN TIMBS, “Anecdote Biography." them the gentlemen in opposition on the After dinner a little boy named William other side of the water."-LORD CAMPBELL, came up to his lordship, got strawberries “Lives of the Chancellors, Thurlow.” from him and showed great fondness for him. Lord Chatham said of an approaching After tea, his lordship proposing to renew debate: "If I cannot speak standing I will the acquaintance, William turned his back speak sitting, and if I cannot speak sitting upon him. "Ah, William,” said Lord North, I will speak lying.” “Which he will do in "you are not the only one that paid court whatever position he speaks,” remarked to me while I could give them strawberries, Lord North.—Quarterly Review, January, but turned their backs upon me when I had 1869. none to give them.”—ROBERT BISSET, “Life He [Sir Fletcher Norton] became Speaker of Edmund Burke.” of the House of Commons and, after he was After the surrender of Cornwallis at removed from that office, became Baron Grant- Yorktown, in October, 1781, the king saw him- ley. It was understood that there had been self forced to submit to the inevitable. In some quarrel between him and Lord North March, 1782, he acknowledged to Lord North about the office of Chief Justice of the Court that, considering the temper of the Com- of Common Pleas, when Loughborough was mons, he thought the administration at an appointed to it. He is said to have spoken end. “Then, sir,” said Lord North, "had I disrespectfully of Lord North and Lord North better not state the fact at once?” “Well, had no respect for him. The latter, having you may do so," replied the king. Lord heard that Sir Fletcher had spoken of him. North hastened to the House of Commons self as not in good health, and Sir Fletcher and, interrupting a debate, in a scene of being supposed to have made that repre much excitement, announced the resignation sentation with some particular view though of the ministry, and in a farewell speech of he was perfectly well, took occasion, after much dignity and feeling thanked the House Parliament was dissolved and a new Speaker for the support, the kindness and forbear- was to be chosen, to express his deep concern ance which he had so long received from the that the health of Sir Fletcher Norton made Commons of England. A story is told that, it impossible to propose him again, and his in crossing the lobby on the arm of a friend, conviction that the House could not expect he met another of his friends whom he asked that in Sir Fletcher's state of health, he to come home with him and dine that even- should, at the risk of his existence, again ing. On the latter's pleading a partial en- undertake the arduous duties of the Speaker's gagement, Lord North said: “Come, come, office, and then proposed that another gentle- put off your engagement and have the virtue man should be placed in the chair. Sir of saying you dined with a fallen minister Fletcher again, and again, and again as- on the day of his dismissal.” Owing to the sured the House that he was never in bet. expectation of a long debate, most of the ter health-that he was perfectly able to members had sent away their carriages and undertake and execute the duties, however were waiting in the housekeeper's room. As arduous, of the office and that he hoped the Lord North prepared to enter his carriage, House would not discard him who had be which alone was waiting, he turned and said: fore been their servant and Speaker Lord "I protest, gentlemen, this is the first time North rose again and stated his extreme in my life I ever derived any personal ad- reluctance to resist the importunity of a vantage from being in the secret.”—LORD gentleman who had been so valuable a sery- North, The North American Review, August, ant of the House, but that humanity forbade 1903. him to think of gratifying, however anxious His old opponent, Barre, the former he was to gratify, Sir Fletcher's wishes. champion of the Whig opposition to North, The majority of the House did not like Sir paying a business call to a suburban village Fletcher; they were under the influence of found himself seated at the luncheon table. Lord North and they voted another gentle Both host and guest had been overtaken by man into the chair.-HORACE TWISS, "Life nearly complete blindness. After some allu- of Lord Chancellor Eldon," quoting Eldon. sion to past passages at arms, North smil. Whilst he was sleeping during a debate' ingly said: “But now, Colonel, there are not Northington, Lord O'Connell, Daniel 498 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES two men in England who could be more happy | ing chancellors," but a man of good sense to see each other."-T. H. S. ESCOTT, “Society also. In his last illness he was recommended in the Country House." to avail himself of the services of a certain prelate. "He will never do," said the chan- NORTHINGTON, Robert Harvey, Earl of cellor; “I should have to acknowledge that Northington, 1708-1772. Lord Chancellor one of my heaviest sins was in having made of England. him a bishop."-Doran's notes to the "Last Lord Northington was one of the "swear- | Journals of Horace Walpole.” O'CONNELL, Daniel, 1775-1847. Irish | cane. Next day he sent me a challenge, but statesman. very shortly after he wrote to me to state I have heard that my father received the that since he had challenged me he had dis- announcement of my birth when he was in covered that my life was inserted in a val- the court house at Cork, just after he had | uable lease of his. “Under these circum- gained a lawsuit in which he was retained stances," he continued, “I cannot afford to as leading counsel. The courts sat much shoot you unless as a precautionary measure earlier then than now, and my father's you first insure your life for my benefit. If cousin, Dr. Baldwin, the leading physician in you do, then heigh ho, for powder and ball. Cork, called to invite him to breakfast. I'm your man.” Now this seems so ludi- "Well, Dan," said the doctor, "you got that crously absurd, that it is almost incredible; fellow off; but he was really guilty, you yet it is literally true.-W. J. O'NEILL know.” “Oh, never mind; don't bother me, DAUNT, “Personal Recollections of O'Connell,” doctor. Sure, I have got a red-headed boy.” quoting O'Connell. And the reason of my father's perturbation When O'Connell was Lord Mayor of at the circumstances of my red-headedness Dublin, at the first day's sitting his weekly has from that day to this remained a pro court was of course extremely crowded. The found mystery.-Temple Bar, October, 1899. tipstaffs tried to clear it. “Let all persons I was once counsel for a cow-stealer, who leave the court that haven't business," was clearly convicted--the sentence was trans- shouted one of these functionaries. "In portation for fourteen years. At the end of Cork," said O'Connell, “I remember the crier that time he returned and, happening to meet trying to disperse the crowd by exclaiming: me, he began to talk about the trial. I asked ‘All ye blackguards that isn't lawyers, quit him how he had always managed to steal the the court.'"-DAUNT. fat cows, to which he gravely answered: On one occasion the trial of a man whom “Well, then, I'll tell your honor the whole O'Connell well knew to be guilty of an of- secret of that, sir. Whenever your honor fense which was then capital, had passed goes to steal a cow, always go on the worst | into the hands of a sergeant-at-law who had night you can, for if the weather is very as yet but little experience in such cases. bad the chances are that nobody will be up He was an excellent lawyer and in later to see your honor. The way you'll always years a great judge, but a man of very sen- know the fat cattle in the dark is by this sitive and scrupulous character, rendered token-that the fat cows always stand out doubly nervous by the fact that he was try. in the more exposed places-but the lean ones ing a case on which a human life depended. always go into a ditch for shelter.” So I got | O'Connell at once put some plainly illegal esson in cow-stealing gratis from my questions and, when the judge very properly client. stopped him, he again and again pursued the I remember being counsel at a special same course. Then, with well-simulated rage, commission in Kerry against a Mr. S., and, he dashed his brief to the ground, declared having occasion to press him rather hard that the blood of his client would be on the in my speech, he jumped up in court and head of the judge who refused to permit his called me a purse-proud blockhead. I said to defense, and stalked majestically out of court. him: "In the first place, I have got no purse The judge himself acted as counsel for the to be proud of; and, secondly, if I be a undefended prisoner, cross-examined the wit- blockhead, it is better for you as the counsel nesses against him with great severity and against you. However, just to save you the charged in such a manner that an acquittal trouble of saying so again, I'll administer a was the result. slight rebuke.” Whereupon I whacked him It was a question whether a will had been soundly on the back with the president's | signed by a conscious testator, or whether, 499 Northington, Lord OF THE GREAT O'Connell, Daniel as was suspected, the pen had been put into in vain, until at last they called for O'Con- the dead man's hand to trace the signature; , nell. He came in, flung his riding whip and he observed that the principal witness, under | hat on the table, was told the circumstances severe and repeated cross-examination, always | and taking up the hat said to the witness: returned to the same phrase: “There was “Whose hat is this?” “Well, Mr. O'Con- life in him." "By virtue of your oath,” nell, it is Mickey's hat." "How do you know said O'Connell, "did you not put a fly into that?" "I will swear to it, sir.” “And did the dead man's mouth in order that you you really find it on the murdered man?” might swear that there was life in him ?” “I did that, sir.” “But you are not ready He had guessed rightly and the witness, pale to swear to that?” “I am indeed, Mr. O'Con- with terror, confessed his crime.-W. E. H. nell.” “Pat, do you know what hangs on LECKY, “Leaders of Public Opinion in Ire- your word ? A human soul. And with that land.” dread burden are you ready to tell to this He was once examining a witness, whose jury, that this hat, to your certain knowl- inebriety, at the time to which the evidence edge, belongs to this prisoner?” “Yes, Mr. referred, it was essential to his client's case O'Connell, I am.” O'Connell takes the hat to prove. He quickly discovered the man's to the nearest window and peers into it. character. He was a fellow who may be de- “J-a-m-e-s, James. Now, Pat, did you see scribed as "half foolish with roguery." that name in that hat?” “I did, Mr. O'Con- "Well, Darby, you told the truth to this gen- nell.” “You know it was there?” “Yes; I tleman?” “Yes, your honor, Counselor read it after I had picked it up." "No name O'Connell.” “How do you know my name?”. in the hat, your honor.”_-WENDELL PHILLIPS, “Ah, sure, every one knows our own pathriot." lecture on Daniel O'Connell, New York, De- “Well, you are a good-humored, honest fel cember 9, 1872. low; now tell me, Darby, did you take a As O'Connell proceeded with his speech drop of anything that day?” “Why, your | he kept an eye on the jury box and his in- honor, I took my share of a pint of spirits." tuition enabled him to see that after some “Your share of it. Now, by virtue of your time he had eleven of the jury with him. oath, was not your share of it all but the “There was one dark-looking little Orange- pewter ?” “Why, then, dear knows, that's man," said he, “sitting unmoved, silent and true for you, sir.” The court was convulsed glum-looking. I knew he was against me. at both question and answer. It soon, step I talked at that fellow half an hour; at last by step, came out, that the man was drunk I stirred him; he rose in his place, moved and was not, therefore, a competent witness. a little, and sat down again. His aspect was Thus O'Connell won his case for his client.--- changed-I saw I had him.” So he had; The Eclectic Magazine, February, 1848. he got a verdict.- MICIIAEL MACDONAGH, "O'Connell,” said Mr. Sergeant (after Temple Bar, July, 1900. (A similar anecdote wards Judge) Jackson, “why have you been is told of Daniel Webster.) so long away?” in a rather irritated tone; He gave a humorous sketch of the mode “why have you been so long away?” “I could in which a country friar had, in 1813, an- not leave Grey while his case was on,” re- nounced a meeting on the Veto: “Now, plied O'Connell. “What was the verdict ?”. ma boughali,” said the friar; "you haven't “Acquittal.” “Then you have got off a wretch got gumption and should therefore be guided who is unfit to live,” said Jackson. The ser- by them that have. This meeting is all geant was remarkable for his piety, so O'Con- | about the veto, d’ye see. And now, as none nell replied: "I am sure, my dear friend, of you know what the veto is, I'll make it you will agree with me that a man whom as clear as a whistle to yez. The veto, you you regard as unfit to live would be still see, is a Latin word, ma boughali, and none more unfit to die.”—The Green Bay, Novem- of yez understand Latin. But I will let you ber, 1898, citing O'Flanagan's work on the know all the ins and outs of it, boys, if Irish Bar. you'll only listen to me now. The veto is a He was once summoned to court out of | thing that-you see, boys, the veto is a thing the hunting field where a young friend of his that-the meeting on Monday is to be held of an humble order was on trial for his life. about." (Here there were cheers and cries The evidence gathered around a hat by the of “Hear, hear.”) “The veto is a thing body of the murdered man and which was that, in short, boys, as none of yez are able recognized as the hat of the prisoner. The to comprehend the veto, I needn't take up lawyers tried to break down the evidence, more of your time about it now. But I'll confuse the testimony and get some relief give you this piece of advice, boys; just go from the directness of the circumstances, but to the meeting and listen to Counselor O'Connell, Daniel Osborne, Ralph B. 500 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES O'Connell and just do whatever he bids yez, known in Dublin. A quarrel, arising from boys.”-DAUNT. some political difference, broke out between them. O'Connell denounced his opponent in In the session of 1833 he brought under language of extreme violence, and for many the notice of the House as a breach of priva years they were on terms of mutual hos- ilege the report of one of his speeches on tility. Long afterwards P. M. told my in- church tithes in Ireland, which had appeared formant that during the period of their in one of the London papers not only greatly friendship O'Connell had become aware of cir- abbreviated, but as he complained, in some cumstances of a private nature which, if pub- passages entirely perverted. The reporter lished, would have been ruinous to the posi. was brought to the bar of the House, where tion and credit of his adversary, but, in he made a most remarkable defense. He spite of the violence of their subsequent said that during his walk from Westminster quarrel, was never led to divulge them or to Fleet street, the rain, which was falling allude to them in any way.-JOHN BALL, Mac- heavily at the time, had most unfortunately millan's Magazine, July, 1873. streamed into his pocket and washed out the notes he had made of O'Connell's speech. Unlike the majority of Irishmen, this “Well, Mr. Speaker,” said O'Connell, “that universal admiration never seemed to stimu- was the most extraordinary shower of rain late him to personal vanity or to disturb his I ever heard of; for it not only washed out equanimity. I once ventured to ask him how the speech I made from that gentleman's note this might be. His answer, simple and ear- book, but washed in another and entirely dif | nest, was characteristic of the man: "I pray ferent one. I only hope this newspaper will often.”—Temple Bar, October, 1899. provide him with a cloak and an umbrella ORLEANS, Ferdinand Philip Louis Charles in order to prevent the rain from playing any more pranks with his note books." But Henry, Duke of Orleans. French nobility. O'Connell did not rest there. He gave the 1810-1842. Parliamentary reporters as a body what he Two years before [1842] he [Alexandre himself called “a lick of the rough side of his Dumas] had formally and legally married tongue," pouring on them all the powers of Mademoiselle Ida Ferrier-this step, so in- sarcasm and vituperation of which he was an consistent with his temperament and mode unrivaled master, charging them with “cook of life, having resulted from his own recko ing" their reports to his detriment, or else less disregard of the conventions. The lady ignoring his arguments, while the arguments had fascinated him while she was interpret- of his opponents were given fully. The re ing the role of his creation at the Porte St. porters retaliated. They sent a communica- Martin. It did not strike him that it would tion to O'Connell that unless he made an be irregular to take her with him to a ball ample apology for his attack they would given by his patron, the Duke of Orleans, and cease to report him. And they carried out he straightway did so. “Of course, my dear their threat; O'Connell's name was not even Dumas," said his highness affably, “it is mentioned in the report of the next debate only your wife you would think of present- in which he took part. But if he were not ing to me.” Poor Alexandre, the lover of reported he would take care that no one else all women and none in particular, was was. At the opening of the next sitting he hoisted with his own petard. A prince's called the Speaker's attention to the pres- hints, above all when he is your patron and ence of strangers, and under a rule of the publisher, are commands. Dumas was led House, which has since been amended, the to the altar, like a sheep to slaughter, by the galleries were cleared. The reporters, how- charming Ida. Châteaubriand supported the ever, would not give way and as they were bridegroom through the ordeal. However, supported by their editors and as O'Connell the chains of matrimony sat lightly on the was determined to exclude them from the irrepressible romancer. Madame Dumas House while they were in that state of mind, shortly after departed for Florence, greatly it is impossible to say how long the quarrel to the relief of her spouse.-EDMUND B. might have lasted, had not some mutual D'AUVERGNE, “Lola Montez.” friends arranged a compromise at the end ORLEANS, Philip, Duke of, 1640-1701. of a week, during which not a line about Regent of France. Parliament appeared in any London paper.- Macmillan's Magazine, March, 1895. The duke would appear at masquerades in feminine attire and would study the effect O'Connell had been on terms of intimacy | of his patches and paint with more than fem- with P. M., an able and influential man, well inine vanity, ... His love of dress was in. 501 O'Connell, Daniel Osborne, Ralph B. OF THE GREAT ordinate. He welcomed state functions and but the regent added: “Yes, a scoundrel of family bereavements with equal pleasure, the first order, but very adroit. Abbé” (to since both furnished him opportunities in Cardinal Dubois), "we must make an ambas- displaying himself in new and sumptuous cos sador of him.” That was all the satisfac- tumes; and it was observed that, though he tion he gave to the complaints laid before danced well, he could not dance like a man him, and I could add a hundred other in- because his shoes were too high-heeled. When stances just as striking.–ABBÉ BERNIS, he was with the army the soldiers used to “Memoirs.” say that he was more afraid of being sun- burnt and of the blackness of the powder OSBORNE, Ralph Bernal, 1808-1882. Eng. than of the musket balls; and it may well lish statesman. have been true, for he could show upon occa Most men, with half of Osborne's experi- sion that, little as the virtue had been de | ence, would long before this have registered veloped, he did not wholly lack the personal a resolve to retire into private life. But valor in which the Bourbons were seldom what would have discouraged and deterred deficient. He habitually behaved towards others only served to stimulate Osborne. the king with a submission that was al Angry crowds, surging before platforms and most servile, but he was as irritable and accentuating their anger with missiles hurled petulant as a spoiled child, and once, in an at the speakers' heads, the waving of blud- access of ungovernable passion, he dashed geons, the smashing of windows, the howls a bowl of soup into his brother's face. - of infuriated electors, accusations, calumnies, ROBERT S. RAIT, “Five Stuart Princesses." abuse of every kind were to Osborne part of Godeau, the curé of Saint Come, preached the fun of the business, into which he entered a sermon clearly applying to the regent. with a laugh and a jest. Upon one occasion When the matter was mentioned to the re at Waterford, one of his enemies in the mob gent, he replied coolly: “What does he med- below fired a pistol. Osborne was not daunt- dle with? I am not in his parish.”—CHARLES ed for an instant. “If," he exclaimed, “my PINOT DUCLOS, “The Morals of the Age.” good friend, you would only have the good- ness to go off like your pistol, I should be The rivalry between the houses of Or- forever indebted to you.” Upon the same leans and Condé broke the monotony of a occasion he would certainly have been lynched pitiable ministry and the son of the regent, if he had not succeeded in getting out of a who had been initiated into affairs of state second story window and so effecting an for some months, could not endure the thought entrance to a draper's shop, where he passed of being dominated by M. le Duc, whom he the night stowed away in a bundle of blan- regarded as a prince beneath him, both in kets. The town itself was wrecked. ... rank, talents and in intellect. The regent, Only a man who had immense physical however, skilful in the art of estimating strength as well as personal fearlessness and men's characters, told him plainly enough that hardihood could have fought the battle of he would never be a very distinguished man. his second Middlesex election, or have passed He even told him distinctly and in the pres- the ordeal so amusingly described by himself ence of the whole assembly in the Palais at Waterford. “I am,” said he to a friend Royal: “Remember, my son, that you will | shortly after he had been victorious in the never be anything but an honest man.”— latter of these two places, “slowly recovering ABBÉ SOULAVIE, “Memoirs of the Duke of from the effects of an Irish election." Richelieu." There is a story not true to the letter, The regent once said of a man at court: | vet substantially founded on truth, which "He is a perfect courtier—without honor and puts words into the mouth of a chaperon in without temper.” The definition would have those brilliant days: Mr. Bernal danced twice been perfect had he added, “without shame." with my Julia and sang a duet with her, and M. Massillon, Bishop of Clermont, told he was so dreadfully handsome and had such me that, complaining one day to the regent a bewitching tenor in singing, that I became of the rascalities of a man whom the prince alarmed lest he should trifle with her affec- had sent him in order that they might work tions and, determined to interpose, I asked together on the affairs of the clergy, the him (in the phrase customary at the time) regent interrupted the recital of the man's whether his intentions were honorable, and knaveries by saying to Cardinal Dubois, who what do you think was his answer? He was present: “We must allow he is a great answered, “Certainly not,” and in so ringing rascal.” M. Massillon said to himself: | a voice that you might have heard him in “Good; there is one unmasked and ruined,” | the next room. My first impulse was to be Paine, Thomas Palmerston 502 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES angry; and to think he might have had the honest, so bold, so determined and so free grace to say something more roundabout, but from guile.-T. H. S. ESCOTT, The Fortnight- I was wrong. Would that all men were so I ly Reviow, October 1, 1884. PAINE, Thomas, 1737-1809. American Revo- | life proves that he spoke truly. “Perhaps lutionary leader. America would feel the less obligation to me,” One hundred and sixty-eight persons were he said, "did she know that it was neither the taken out of the Luxembourg one night and place nor the people but the cause itself a hundred and sixty of them guillotined the that irresistibly engaged me in its support; next day, of which I know I was to have for I should have acted the same part in any been one; and the manner I escaped that fate other country could the same circumstances is curious and has all the appearances of ac- have arisen then which have happened here." cident. The room in which I was lodged was A. OUTRAM SHERMAN, address before the on the ground floor and one of the large Huguenot Society of New Rochelle, N. Y., range of rooms under a gallery and the door July, 1910. of it opened outward and flat against the His egregious conceit and self-sufficiency wall; so that when it was open the inside of disgusted me. He was drunk with vanity. the door appeared outward and the contrary If you believed him, it was he who had done when it was shut; I had three comrades, fel- everything in America. He was an absolute low prisoners with me-Joseph Vanhuile of caricature of the vainest of Frenchmen. He Bruges, since president of the municipality fancied that his book on the "Rights of Man" of that' town, Michael Robbins and Bastini ought to replace every other book in the of Louvain. When persons by scores and by world, and he told us roundly that, if it were hundreds were to be taken out of prison for in his power to exterminate every library in the guillotine it was always done in the existence, he would do so without hesitation, night, and those who performed that office in order to eradicate the errors they con- had a private mark or signal by which they tained, and begin, with the "Rights of Man," knew what rooms to go to and what numbers | a new chain of ideas and principles. He knew to take. We, as I said, were four, and the all his own writings by heart, but he knew door of our room was marked, unobserved by | nothing else. He repeated to us even love me, with that number in chalk; but it hap- letters of his own composition, written in the pened, if happening is the proper word, that most fantastic style. They were indeed the the mark was put on the door when it was | effusions of his youth and were worthy of open and flat against the wall, and thereby | Mascarillo. Yet Paine was a man of talent, came on the inside when we shut it at night full of imagination, gifted with popular elo- and the destroying angel passed it by. A few quence and wielded not without skill the days after this Robespierre fell and the weapon of irony.-ÉTIENNE DUMONT, "Remi- American ambassador arrived and reclaimed niscences of Mirabeau." me.-T. C. RICHMAN, “Life of Thomas Paine," PALMERSTON, Henry John Temple, Vis- quoting a letter of Paine. count Palmerston, 1784-1865. English When we find Paine left undisturbed for statesman. three months, arrested only because he stood A story told by Bunsen, relative to their on the same footing as Cloots, and left un- disturbed in prison for the seven months of return from Osborne, throws a sidelight on Robespierre's life, the supposition of Robes- Palmerston's character. The yacht which carried them (Queen Victoria and Prince Al. pierre's unrelenting hostility falls to the bert] from the Isle of Wight was unable ground and my belief is that Paine's life was no longer in danger from him.-J. G. | on account of rough weather to enter South- ampton harbor. To gain land they put off in ALGER, The Athenæum, October 31, 1896. a small boat, the helm of which Palmerston Propose that Thomas Payne (this was was asked to take, so that all available hands the spelling of the name in France) be put might be given to the oars. On landing on trial in the interests of America as much safely Bunsen paid the Foreign Minister a as that of France.-ALGER, quoting Robes- | far-fetched compliment about the vessel of pierre's “Diary." state and a common boat being steered with Franklin said to him, "Where liberty is, equal safety by the same man; when Palm- there is my country." Paine replied, “Where | erston said, “Oh, one learns boating at liberty is not, there is mine," and his whole | Cambridge, even though one may have 503 Palmerston OF THE GREAT , Thomas Painelearned nothing better.” On arriving at the lordship misses them so clean." This story railway station they found that the last | would nearly fit Lord Palmerston. During train to town had gone, when Palmerston his later years, when he was as fond as ever insisted that he must have a special train. of the sport, he has been known to fire off The railway officials declared that the dan both barrels at birds a hundred yards off.. ger of collision was too great for them to The Quarterly Review, January, 1878. undertake it; but Palmerston insisted on One of Lord Palmerston's aphorisms was: having one, saying he was willing to take all “The best thing for the inside of a man is the risk on himself. In fear and trembling the outside of a horse”; he rode every day his commands were obeyed, and when the | unless prevented by press of business.-WIL- train, after shooting past station after sta- LIAM FRASER, “Disraeli and his Day." tion, arrived in town without causing or re- ceiving any damage, the directors refused all The umbrella was a feature in Lord Palm- payment, declaring they considered them erston's personnel. One of his cabinet min- selves lucky by their own escape from serious isters tells a ludicrous story about it: The responsibility.-FITZGERALD MOLLOY, “Vic House was counted out early one summer's toria Regina." evening and as their way home lay together he offered Lord Palmerston his arm. The of- Gordon, the Scottish painter, tells this fer was accepted. As he was the younger man story of Lord Palmerston: I had exhibited he offered to carry the premier's overcoat. several years, but without any particular Palmerston thanked him but declined to give success. One year, however, the year be- it up. The minister then insisted on carry- fore I painted “The Corsicans," Lord Palm- | ing the umbrella. It was a very stout and erston took a sudden fancy to my picture | useful umbrella, well known in and about the called “Summer in the Lowlands,” and House of Commons--quite Sairey Gampish, bought it at a high figure. His lordship at indeed, in its outlines and proportions, a sort the same time made inquiry after the artist of gig umbrella cut down. In Lord Palm- and invited me to call on him. I waited erston's hands it passed without notice. upon him accordingly. He complimented me But the smarter and younger cabinet minister upon the picture, but there was one thing was painfully conscious, first of the attention about it he could not understand: “That it excited, and secondly of its unusual and there should be such long grass in a field inconvenient weight. He could compare it where there were so many sheep,” said his to nothing but a good thick "blue book” tied lordship with a merry twinkle of the eye. It to the end of a stick. Up Parliament street, was a decided hit, this, and having bought through the Horse Guards, and up the steps the picture and paid for it, he was entitled at the foot of the Duke of York's column to his joke. "How do you account for it?" they walked together, the umbrella seeming he went on smiling, and looking first at the to get uglier and heavier at every step. The picture and then at me. “Those sheep, my stout old premier would have used it as a lord," I replied, "were only turned into the walking stick or flourished it as a drum field the night before I finished the picture.” major wields his baton. In his colleague's His lordship laughed heartily and said hands it was so much dead weight. He de- “Bravo" at my reply—and gave me a com- clared afterwards that he was never so glad mission for two more pictures; and I have to get rid of anything in his life and that cashed since then some very notable checks whenever he gave Lord Palmerston his arm of his-dear old boy!- Every Saturday, again he was particularly careful not to of- October 25, 1873. fer to carry his umbrella.-Harper's Maga- Lord Palmerston did all his work at a | zine, January, 1866. high desk, standing.-W. H. D. ADAMS, The Let an example be taken of his manner Gentleman's Magazine, August, 1888. in despatching a functionary to distant Lord Palmerston laying the blame on regions, and welcoming him on his return the wind may recall the foreigner who com from a perplexing mission: “We have select- plained that the English rabbits were too ed you whom we believe to be one of the best short. It was told of a noble lord (Lord public servants, to occupy one of the most Ashbrook), who never touched a feather dur difficult of public positions." When such was ing an entire day's shooting at Holkham, the charge, so flattering, but imposing at the that the keeper, by way of consolation, re. | same time so serious a responsibility, it marked that he had seen people shoot worse seemed as if every encouragement were given than his lordship. “How can that be, when and every motive appealed to which could I missed bird after bird?” “Aye, but your stimulate to the thoughtful and zealous dis- 505 Parnell OF THE GREAT Palmerston Palmerston, how will you contrive to keep on the Horse.'”_R. BARRY O'BRIEN, “Life of that engagement ?' 'Oh,' I said, 'of course, the Lord Russell of Killowen.” easiest thing in the world; I shall keep it the I He certainly did not contribute much last thing before I go to bed.'”-R. B. BRETT, to the fun of the meeting. He never told a “The Yoke of Empire.” good story, he was not a good conversation- Lord Palmerston once said that the alist in any sense, but he was appreciative Schleswig-Ilolstein question (cause of the war and a splendid listener. We talked all around between Prussia and Austria] was so difficult him and he seemed to enjoy the conversation, that only three men had ever understood it. e men had ever understood it. | while taking little part in it.-O'BRIEN, The first was Prince Albert, and he was “Life of Parnell.” dead; the second was a Danish statesman, In order to get his own way with his and he had gone mad; and the third was brothers and sisters, he used to “butt” us all Palmerston himself, and he had forgotten it. around with his head, like a goat, so that he —The Quarterly Review, October, 1890. acquired the name amongst us of “Butt-head.” PARNELL, Charles Stewart, 1846-1891. -EMILY M. DICKINSON, “A Patriot's Mis- Irish statesman. take." "Mr. Parnell, how did you acquire your An error in spelling was as offensive to extraordinary knowledge of the rules of the him as the sight of a black beetle is to many House?” “By breaking them,” answered the a man. I once handed him a letter which Irish leader.-G. W. SMALLEY, “Anglo- I had received from a constituent of mine, American Memoirs." asking me to call Parnell's attention to some improvement which he thought might be made Mr. Parnell professed general ignorance, in a bill, then before the llouse, dealing with even of a subject that concerned him so near- the subject of agricultural occupation in Ire- ly as Irish history. And this strange want of land. Unluckily, the poor man who wrote the knowledge to be found in books appears all letter had spelled "agricultural" with two g's. through his life. “I am very ignorant,” he Parnell looked at the letter, smiled sadly once said to his biographer, who smiled in- and handed it back to me. “Do forgive me,” credulously. “Yes,” he continued, "I mean he said, “and tell me all about it. I couldn't what I say. I am very ignorant of these read through a man's letter who spells agri- things. I have read very little, but I am cultural' with two g's.”—JUSTIN MCCARTHY, smart and can pick up information quickly." “Reminiscences," copyright, Harper & Broth- On another occasion he had engaged to lec- ture on Irish history at Cork. Parnell said to a friend: “I really do not know anything He had a special dislike for the com- about Irish history. Have you any books pany of strangers and, in spite of his ex- I can read ?" The day of the lecture came. perience, always felt nervous in the presence It was to be delivered at eight o'clock. At a of crowds, frequently clenching his fists, while quarter to eight, when dinner was over, Par- speaking, until the blood came. He was once nell said, "Now I must read up the history," being entertained at a large public dinner, and he asked for some writing paper and the and a huge crowd had assembled outside historical books. lle arrived at the hall at the windows, the blinds of which were not a quarter past nine, was received with drawn, in order to give the people a chance enthusiasm and got through his lecture of seeing their beloved leader. He became successfully.—EARL OF ROSEBERY, inaugu- gradually more and more uneasy at the pro- ral address as president of the Edinburgh tracted stare of the crowd and began to fidget Philosophical Institution, November 25, in his seat and frown. Finally he called 1898. out to The O'Donoghue, who was sitting some distance off, out of sight of the crowd: "For I repeated some humorous lines which I goodness sakes, O'Donoghue, change places had recently read about Montreal. I wanted with me. I can't stand those fellows staring to see if Parnell could see the fun of them. at me any longer.” On another occasion he He listened in a dreamy way until I was and I were traveling together by train, when done and then said, “I have been thinking a number of enthusiasts followed us into the if any one will ever pay to hear me lecture carriage. He straightened himself up from again." The poem was thrown away on him. his usual half-reclining position in the corner -R. BARRY O'BRIEN, "Life of Parnell," quot- of the carriage, which he adopted when ing Healy. traveling, and said to me pettishly: "Can't "I never saw him," said a member of you get these people out of the carriage, Parnell's family, "read anything but “Youatt | John? They are annoying me.” I had to set ers. Parnell 506 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES about the very uncomfortable task of going reward; Pearl capitulated and promised to up to each person and asking him whether do what her lover had asked and to wait he would mind leaving the carriage, as my for him meanwhile. So they parted, she to brother wished to be alone. return to a life of gaiety and incense in He had a horror, even in private life, of America. Charles returned to Ireland [from speaking loudly. I remember an instance of Rome] to throw himself with all the ardor this one time when we were together at of his temperament into a public political Avondale. We were walking down the road career, whereby he vowed an inward vow to the saw mills, when I noticed that some that he would make a name which would of his men working in a field nearby were not prove unworthy even of his idolized Pearl. taking things very easily, even for Irish Meetings for the future were not frequent laborers. I said to him, “Why don't you call for the lovers. Pearl remained in America, out to those fellows, Charley, and get them with admirers thick as leaves around her; to hurry up? They look like being all day and Charles was too much bent on achieving over that field, if they go on like that." He his goal, and on compassing the future he replied, with a shrug of his shoulders, “I had set before him, to lose any time he could know that, but if I wanted to make them help by absence from the scene of his exer- hear I should have to shout and I dislike tions. The comparatively short time that shouting.” He walked on in silence, but I elapsed before his name was heard through believe, with his invariably retentive memory, the length and breadth of the United King. he had something to say to them when he dom, and far and wide, is well known, and met them next at close quarters.-JOHN H. how, long before reaching the prime of life, PARNELL, "Charles Stewart Parnell.” the name Charles Stewart Parnell was on every lip. Pearl heard of his many triumphs Arthur also had a good mount, a horse and marvelous success, how he was a man called Tory. One day, looking at him out at who could hold men by the glow of his eye, grass at Avondale, Charles had thus named the cool defiance of his carriage, and mold him, on account of his lean nature, which the world of politics and direct great forces. refused to put on flesh. He said the horse Her heart glowed with pride and pleasure. resembled a Conservative in that he had an One day, on Charles's arrival in New York, opportunity of improving his condition and he hurried to the residence of his goddess, would not do so, so Tory he remained. and, laying his name at her feet, asked her Charles's political opinions were thus early if she would marry him now. "Yes," was shown by the sentiments he expressed.- the reply, as Pearl, proud and happy, yielded DICKINSON. to her lover's entreaty, and consented to be- One memorable day the idol of his life come his wife in three months from that date. coolly informed him she had changed her After a few days of bliss Charles again re- mind and would not marry him because he turned to his arduous work in Ireland. Nine had no name. "No name, Pearl? why, I have weeks passed quickly. Pearl, that star for one of the oldest in Ireland," ejaculated which Charles had sighed so long, was within Charles, astonished. “Oh, I mean, you have his reach, and he looked forward to calling never distinguished yourself in any way. The his beloved his own, his wife. He was on man I marry must be a hero and be able to the point of starting for America, where boast of a self-made name, one that all the their nuptials were to be celebrated, when- world has heard of and that rings with his but how write about, how describe the bolt fame--not a musty old Irish name belonging that fell with unrelenting force on Charles's to some antediluvian, moldy, old family of head? Ilow portray the indescribable an- bygone generations.” “I am very young, guish, the sharp agony, the despair con- Pearl; give me a little time and I will make tained in an innocent-looking telegram, placed a name that even you will be proud of; only in Charles's hand by an obsequious waiter give me time. Will you marry me then, on the eve of his departure. We can but pic- Pearl? When I come to lay a name worthy ture him in his agony and passion, in his mad even of your acceptance at your feet? My despair. He had loved her with all the love, don't say me nay; don't break my heart; strength of his strong nature. This ill- give me hope in the future, and an object for omened message announced the marriage of which to live and work,” pleaded Charles the inconstant fiancée to another.--DICKIN- with all the fervor of which he was capable, the true love of his great nature betraying His Superstitions itself in his anxiety to gain Pearl's consent "On the Sunday previous to the conven- to his request. His eloquence met with its / tion,” says Mr. Ilealy, "I went in the evening son. 507 Farnell OF THE GREAT to Morrison's hotel with the draft constitu train, I told the girl to prepare his room. tion, which Parnell wished to talk over. A few hours later he turned up with his This was in the month of October, 1882. portmanteau, having just arrived by the next I found him in bed and apparently poor train. I told him the servant had seen enough. Seeing this, I suggested postponing him on the staircase that morning. On hear- the work of revision. 'Oh, no,' said he, this ing this he refused to stop in the house is nothing.' After a pause he added musing and went with his portmanteau to my sister's ly, 'Something always happens to me in Oc instead.- DICKINSON, tober.' This remark fell from him as if he were announcing a decree of fate and struck One of his most remarkable supersti- me intensely. October, in Mr. Parnell's horo- tions was his aversion to the color green, scope, was a month of 'influence' and he al- although it was the national color for Ireland. ways regarded it with apprehension. ... Accordingly he never wore a coat or a tie While I worked away on the draft of the that had the slightest tinge of green in its constitution of the National League at Mor- material and steadily refused to use the rison's hotel, the sick man lay with his face fine traveling rug which was presented to to the wall, replying composedly now and him. He carried to strange limits this dis- again to the points which remained to be set. like of the color green in any shape or form. tled in it. I wrote at a table by his bed Once he wrote home to one of his sisters- side, on which four candles stood lighted. I believe, Mrs. Dickinson-who had told him Hours passed by and, being engrossed in the that she had just had his room at Avondale work, I did not heed the fact that one of repapered, saying, "I hope you have not had the candles was burning to the socket and my room done in green, as, if so, I shall finally sputtered itself out. A stir from the never use it.” Another time a lady, whom patient aroused me and I looked up. With he knew well, called to see him at the House astonishment I saw that Mr. Parnell had of Commons. lIe came along the corridor turned round, raised himself in the bed, and, to the lobby, where she was waiting, and had leaning over my table, was furiously blow- already stretched out his hand in welcome, ing out one of the remaining candles. What when he suddenly put it behind his back, and on earth is that for ?' said I, amazed at this said, with a mixture of horror and disgust, performance. “I want more light than that.' “Excuse my asking, but what is the color of IIis eyes gleamed wildly in their pale set. the dress you are wearing ?” The lady, who ting as he answered, ‘Don't you know that did not know Charles's idiosyncrasy in that nothing is more unlucky than to have three direction, replied, quite innocently, “Why, candles burning?' Almost petrified, I con- Mr. Parnell, are you color-blind? Of course, fessed that I did not. “Your constitution it is green.” Charley replied, “In that case, then would have been very successful,' said I am afraid that I must ask you to excuse my he with quiet sarcasm, as he turned his face shaking hands with you.” He made a few to the wall again, evidently persuaded that curt remarks with an obviously uneasy man- his intervention alone had averted some po ner and, then pleading excuse, hurried away, litical catastrophe."-O'BRIEN, “Life of Par- leaving the lady very much puzzled and some- nell.” what offended at his strange manner, the reason for which was afterwards explained As an instance of his superstition I to her.-JOHN H. PARNELL. give the following: Prior to entering Par- liament he always stopped with Arthur and The room looked miserable [Parnell un- me when in Dublin, and had arranged to do der arrest) and I thought I might improve so as usual pending the contest for Meath its appearance and brighten it up a bit by (for which he was afterwards elected) and putting a beautiful green baize cloth, which which was his first entrance into public life. had been specially worked for me by friends He had not, however, named a day for com- outside, on the bare table where Parnell ing. One morning, whilst I was dressing, sat. I went up to my cell and brought down the housemaid came in and asked me wheth the cloth. “This, Mr. Parnell,” I said, "will er she should get Master Charles's room be better than nothing," and I put the cloth ready. "He hasn't come up from Avondale," on the table, feeling very proud of myself. I said. "Oh, yes, maʼm, he has just passed "Have you any good cigars?” asked Parnell. me on the staircase going down from his "Certainly," I answered, “I have a box of room when I was coming up, and he has gone splendid ciga.s upstairs," and I went away out.” This did not strike me as strange, | for them. · When I came back I found Par- and, supposing he had come by the first | nell once more sitting by the bare table, and Parnell Paul 508 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES my beautiful green baize cloth in a corner on the floor. I gave Parnell a cigar and then, looking around the room, I said, “What have you done with my beautiful green cloth, Mr. Parnell ?” “Ah," he said, lighting a cigar, "green is an unlucky color.” Then, puffing it, “This is a very good cigar.”— O'BRIEN, quoting one of the suspects. X organized the meetings. "In a very short time,” he said, "I organized thirteen meetings. I came to the House of Commons and told Parnell. I expected to find him very much pleased. But suddenly he looked quite melancholy. "Oh,' said he, 'that will never do.' 'What will never do?' said I. 'Thirteen meetings,' said he with a most lugubrious look; 'you will have to knock off one or put on one. Don't you know thirteen is a most unlucky number?' "-O'BRIEN, "Life of Parnell.” [The number was made fourteen.] The number thirteen was of course al- ways an unlucky one in his opinion. IIe steadily refused, even at the risk of annoy- ing or offending his host, to sit down thir- teen at a table. On one occasion he had put up at a country hotel at election time and had gone up to his room to prepare himself for dinner. The friend who was traveling with him, and who occupied the room next to Charley's, was surprised a moment or two later to hear a knock at his door and to find, when he opened it, Charley stand- ing in the passage with his bag, looking very much upset. The friend asked what was the matter and Charley replied by point- ing to the number on his door, which was thirteen, and remarking, "What a room to give me! I suppose the landlord is a Tory and has done this on purpose.” The friend insisted on exchanging rooms, although Char- ley declared that if number thirteen were slept in they would lose the election. The election, however, was won, but two little incidents which occurred confirmed Charley in his opinion as to the ill luck attached to number thirteen. Ilis friend, on trying to open the window of the ill-fated room, let it fall heavily on his hand and, being unable to extricate it, had to cry out for help. Charley rushed in and lifted the window, advising his friend very strongly to take warning by this preliminary mishap and leave the room at once. The friend declined and as lunch was served another manifesta- tion occurred. The friend, on trying to open a bottle of soda water with his bad hand, let the cork jump out and hit him full in the eye. This Charley considered quite decided the fate of the elections and he could hardly be persuaded to believe that the figures were cor- rect when the result was announced.—JOHN II. PARNELL. “The night before polling,” says Mr. Healy, "we found ourselves in the comfort- able hotel at Castleblarney, exhausted by steady driving and incessant speaking through a long summer day. We ordered din. ner and were shown to our rooms. The rooms adjoined and immediately after clos- ing my door I heard Parnell's voice in the corridor ordering his apartment to be changed. Apparently there was a difficulty about this, as the hotel was crowded for the election next day. Knowing that he was not in the least a stickler for luxury or hard to please about a room, I went out to ask what was the matter. There he was, standing in the passage opposite his bedroom door, with his bag in his hand, evidently chafing and very much put out. ‘Look at that,' said he, pointing to the number on his door. It was thirteen. 'What a room to give me! They are Tories, I suppose, and have done it on purpose.' I laughed and said, 'Take mine; let us exchange.' 'If you sleep in that room, you will lose the election. I looked into it and found a good roomy chamber, much better than the one allotted to me, and I said so, pointing out that the Tory hotel- keeper had probably given him the best room in the house. He was not to be pacified, however, and so without arguing the matter I put him into my room and installed myself in his. 'I tell you, you will lose the election,' he repeated, as I installed myself in number thirteen.” The election, however, was not lost. Mr. IIealy was placed at the head of the poll by a handsome majority.- O'BRIEN, “Life of Parnell.” I distinctly remember my mother in- specting the street cars in New York to make quite certain she was not getting on a num- ber thirteen.-John H. PARNELL. PAUL, 1754-1801. Czar of Russia. When one of the Narishkins, with a haugh- ty air, claimed of him some privileges which he asserted were his due as prerogatives of his noble rank, Paul replied, “Are you aware, sir, that there are no men of rank in Russia, except those whom I choose to notice; and, moreover, that they only continue to remain so as long as I am pleased to notice them ?" -THOMAS RAIKES, "A Visit to St. Petersburg in the Winter of 1829-30." He ordered a memorial service to be held at the convent of Nevski, where his father 509 Paul OF THE GREAT Parnell was buried, and at this he was present him stopped both men. “What is the meaning self with the whole of his family and court. of this?” he asked in his sternest manner; The coffin was opened but in it only the dust "how comes it that an officer of the guard of the bones was found. This the emperor appears in the public streets without his commanded to be kissed and he ordered a sword ?” Then, without waiting for the ex- magnificent funeral with all religious and | planation which the unfortunate was hasten- military ceremonies, had the coffin conveyed | ing to offer, he addressed the trooper: "Take to the castle, followed the procession on foot the sword,” said he, "and report yourself and compelled Count Alexis Orlov to accom to the colonel as cornet of the guards; your pany him by making him responsible for a commission follows to-morrow. This gentle- part of the ceremony. This took place three man will take your place in the ranks.”— weeks after the death of the empress. FRED WHISHAW, Temple Bar, September, COUNTESS GOLOVINE, “Memoirs." 1895. He became the most enthusiastic of It was anciently a point of etiquette Bonaparte's admirers. Paul carried the ex for every person who met a Russian auto- travagance of his admiration to the extent crat, his wife or son, to stop his horse or of having his hair cut in such a style that coach, alight and prostrate himself in the his head, at least the outside, might re snow or mud. (Peter I. ordered those who scmble that of his hero.-C. M. C. VILLE prostrated themselves before him in this MAREST, “Life of Talleyrand.” manner to be caned and even caned them himself.) The barbarous homage, difficult to Before he brought himself to consent to be paid in a large city, where carriages pass divide the world with Bonaparte he had led in great numbers and always on the gallop, those about him to believe that he was seri- had been completely abolished under the reign ously thinking of challenging "the Corsican of the polished Catherine. One of the first usurper" to single combat. He had chosen cares of Paul was to reestablish it in all its the scene of the meeting and had appointed rigor. his seconds. After supper, if he was in good humor, Another of Paul's first regulations was a strict injunction to all tradesmen to efface Paul was fond of throwing the dessert from from in front of their shops the French the table all over the room and making the word magasin and to substitute the Russian pages scramble for the choice morsels. word lavka (shop), assigning as a reason The final syllable kij of the word pra that the emperor alone could have maga- porchtchikij (cornets) was in a certain re- | sins of wood, flour, corn, etc., while a port carried over from one page to another. tradesman ought not to be above his condi- The emperor took it for a proper name and, tion and stick to his shop.—CHARLES F. P. moved by a caprice, he gave orders that | MASSON, "Secret Memoirs of the Court of "Ensign Kij” should be promoted to the rank St. Petersburg." of lieutenant. He saw an expression of em- At the gates of the capital there were barrassment and disapprobation on the faces enormous notice boards on which were set of his staff who did not dare to explain his forth the endless rules which the inhabitants error, so the next day he promoted the lieu- had to obey. They were in particular en- tenant of the day before to the rank of cap- joined on no account to pronounce the word tain, demanding that the officer should be kournossiyi (snub-nosed), which might imply presented to him at once. There was con- a disrespectful allusion to the sovereign. sternation everywhere; the offices were turned upside down in search of the imag Even the ladies had to kneel when they inary Kij. A subaltern of the name, or some | kissed his hand, and the regulations govern- thing like it, was found in one of the regi- | ing this act of homage prescribed a series ments quartered on the Don. Ile was sent of gestures, courtesies and pirouettes which for, but Paul grew impatient and in the end | were very difficult to execute. If a young he had to be told that Kij had been carried | freiline made a mistake she was brutally off suddenly by a stroke. “That is a pity," turned out and called doura (stupid) to her observed the czar; "he was a good soldier." face. Nevertheless she had to present her- -K. WALISZEWSKI, “Paul the First." self on the following day, often only to be The czar observed an officer step out told by the usher, “To-day you are not fit to of a house into the street without his sword, appear before his majesty.” which, however, a trooper, who was hasten Ceremonial observance did not stop at ing after him, soon brought him. The czar the walls of the imperial palaces; it extended Pani 510 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to the streets. In the neighborhood of the imperial residences it was the rule for the passers-by to uncover, whatever the weather, and as the custom of the country compelled the coachmen to hold the reins in both hands, they had to hold their caps in their teeth. Paul, without any prompting from his police, who have sometimes been made responsible for these rules, would compel ladies of the highest rank and advanced age to alight from their carriages to salute him when they met him, at the risk of plunging into the mud or snow in their ball slippers. If the rule was broken the carriage was confiscated, and the coachmen, the footmen and sometimes their masters were corporeally punished. Men had to remove their pelisses and come to attention.-K. WALISZEWSKI, “Paul the First." The ceremony established within the palace became equally strict and equally dreaded. Woe betide him, who, when per- mitted to kiss the hand of Paul, did not make the floor resound by striking it with his knee as loud as a soldier with the butt end of his firelock. It was requisite, too, that the salute with the lips on his hand should be heard, to certify the loyalty of the kiss, as well as of the genuflexion. Prince George Galitzin, the chamberlain, was put under arrest on the spot by his Muscovitish majesty himself for having made the bow and kissed the hand too negligently. Since his accession one of his horses stumbled with him in the streets of St. Petersburg; he alighted immediately, held a sort of council with his attendants and the horse was condemned to receive fifty lashes with the whip. Paul caused them to be given on the spot, before the populace, and counted himself the strokes, saying, “There, sir, that is for having stumbled with the emperor.”- MASSON. He was taking the air on a balcony of the Winter Palace after his own dinner and happened to hear a bell announcing that the baroness was about to dine. What! The insolent woman dared to have her dinner while he was digesting his! A police olheer was immediately despatched to bid her hence- forth to sit down to table two hours later. WALISZEWSKI. The emperor Paul, meeting an English- man one day in St. Petersburg, who did not take off his hat to him, inquired the reason, and on being told that he was short-sighted, he issued a decree which the duke [of Wel. lington) saw, ordering the Englishman to wear spectacles for the rest of his life.- GEORGIANA, “Dowager Lady de Ros," Mur- ray's Magazine, January, 1889. One day, traveling from Tsarskoe-Selo to Gatschina, of which the road was in the middle of a marshy forest, he suddenly rec. ollected something and ordered the coach- man to return. “Presently, your highness," said the coachman; "the road is here too narrow.” “How, rascal,” cried Paul, “won't you turn immediately?” The coachman, in- stead of answering, hastened to a spot where it was possible to comply. Paul, however, called to his equerry and ordered him to ar- rest and punish the rebellious coachman. The equerry assured him that he would turn in a moment. Paul flew into a passion with the equerry also. “You are a pitiful scoundrel like himself," he said; "let him overturn the carriage, let him break my neck but let him obey me and turn the instant I command him.” During the dispute the coachman suc- ceeded in turning, but Paul had him pun- ished on the spot.-MASSON. The sledge of Count Razumoffski was, by the emperor's order, broken into small pieces, while he stood by and directed the work. The horses had been found with it in the streets without their driver. It happened to be of a blue color; and the count's ser- vants wore red liveries; upon which a ukase was immediately published, prohibiting throughout the empire of all the Russias the use of blue color in ornamenting sledges, and red liveries. In consequence of this wise decree, our ambassador and many others were compelled to alter their equipages. Coming down the street called the Perspective he per- ceived a nobleman who was taking a walk and had stopped to look at some workmen who were planting trees by the emperor's orders. “What are you doing?" said he. "Merely seeing the men work,” replied the nobleman. “Oh, is that your employment ? Take off his pelisse and give him a spade. There now, work yourself.” . . . Orders were given to arrest any person seen in panta- loons. A servant was taken out of his sledge and caned in the streets for having too thick a neckcloth; and if it had been too thin, it would have met with a similar punishment. After every precaution, the dress, when put on, never satisfied; either the hat was not straight on the head, the hair was too short, or the coat was not cut square enough. A lady at court wore her hair rather lourer in the neck than was consistent with the decree and she was ordered into close con- finement, to be fed on bread and weter. | A gentleman's hair fell a little over his Poal Penn 512 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES room hair-dressers filled their mouths before they act. The assurance of the grand jury commencing operations. This was accompa | of King's county quite warrants the lord nied with rubbings and twistings of such vio- lieutenant in removing the police from that lence that young Tourgenief, robust as he county, but let them pay for the present.-- was, nearly fainted the first time he ex- | ROBERT PEEL, letter as Chief Secretary of perienced them. The “powder” dried into a Ireland to Under Secretary Gregory, April thick crust which gave the men violent head 14, 1818. aches and prevented even the most elementary I got back to London on Wednesday cleanliness. The uniform itself was no less evening, coming up in a state carriage with uncomfortable. Paul insisted on its being | Bunsen, Sir R. and Lady Peel and Count so tight that the men could hardly breathe. Waldemar. Had a very curious observation If they fell they could not get up without of Sir R. Peel. He was reading the Quar- assistance. The gaiters, too, were so narrow terly and soon settled into Croker's bitter that they wounded the legs. attack upon him, peeping into its uncut In Catherine's time a certain commander leaves with intense interest, yet not liking used to appear on the quarter-deck of his to show that interest by cutting; and so, frigate, which was cruising off the coast of when Madame Bunsen, who saw nothing of Spain in the days of the armed neutrality, what was going on, offered a paper cutter, in a most undisguised dishabille, consisting courteously declining it and lapsing into an of a "dressing gown and slippers, surmounted article on Pantagruelism, to fall again into by a pink cravat and night cap." In Paul's the old article and peep again into the un- reign a button sewed on crooked meant dis cut leaves as soon as all was quiet.-A. R. missal.—WALISZEWSKI. ASHWELL, "Life of Samuel Wilberforce and Selections from his Diaries and Correspon- PEEL, Sir Robert, 1788-1850. English dence.” statesman. Sir Robert Peel did not know what to do Sir Robert, with one or two friends, hap- with his hands—as I have heard in child pened to be going to Alexandra Park to wit- hood from our country member, who was ness a balloon ascent, or something of that one of his henchmen. They were awfully in sort (as a matter of fact, I believe it was a his way during his first official interview with parachute descent by the well-known Profes- the queen. George IV. complained that he sor Baldwin), when, making his way to the played so much with the backs of chairs grounds, he found himself in close proximity when he was taking his commands that he to a man who was doing the three-card trick. had to ask him to sit down. William IV. Drawing himself up, as he used to do, he said always asked persons whom he received in to his companions, "I thought this old audience to sit down and dispensed with the swindle was extinct; however” (with a ceremony of kissing hands. Sir Robert Peel's wink), “as we have come across it, I shall feet were, yet more than his hands, a source expose the rascal.” He at once proceeded to of embarrassment to him. He bent forward push himself to the front of the little crowd to look on them when he was engaged in which stood around the illicit operator, but conversation, turned out his toes, took quad as soon as he got there his expression soft. rille attitudes and was absurdly self-con ened and, relenting, he whispered, "The poor scious.-EMILY CRAWFORD, The Contemporary man is but a sad bungler; he cannot do the Review, July, 1897. trick at all.” Soon, however, Sir Robert yielded to the blandishments of the sharper In this direction the first thing that while his friends were present (and no struck his keen eye was that ordinary pedes- money was on), proving completely success. trians had little protection from passing ruf- ful in spotting the court card, which he did fians who might harass or rob them almost almost every time. The rest of the party, unhindered. To take away this evil Peel having applauded his skill, said they would established a band of policemen, who were walk slowly to the palace, which they did; nicknamed after him, "bobbies,” or “peelers," but, finding after some time that no Sir just as Peel was commonly spoken of as an Robert appeared, some one went back to look “Orange Peel," because he was known to be for him, and, to his great astonishment, dis- a strong Protestant.-EDITH L. ELIAS, “In covered the missing baronet still in close Victorian Times." proximity to the card sharper, but now in We must not make the Peelers unpopu. a furious rage, all his money being lost. "I lar by maintaining them against the declared ought to convict you," he was saying. "I and unequivocal sense of the county in which I am a magistrate and you, sir" (this in his 513 Peel OF THE GREAT Penn grandest manner, his hat fiercely cocked and letter,” he oracularly said. “No public man one hand in a Napoleonic pose just inside who respects himself should ever destroy a his coat), "you, sir, are a rogue, a thief letter.” He then turned on his heel and and a vagabond.” The fact was that Sir left the room. It was understood that he Robert, finding that he could easily select the was referring to the solace which might be right card when there had been no money on, derived, under the philippics of an alienated had not been able to resist taking advantage supporter, from the possession of the ora- of what he thought a good thing, though, as tor's application for office. Be that as it was afterwards demonstrated to his cost, it may, we may be sure that as Sir Robert was in reality an excessively bad one.—LADY preached so did he practise. He preserved DOROTHY NEVILL, "Reminiscences." his papers and so the most exact revelation When Wordsworth’s death caused a of himself.—LORD ROSEBERY, The Anglo- Saxon Review, June, 1899. vacancy in the laureateship Sir Robert Peel asked Milne to tell him who, in his judg Sir Robert Peel put nothing into the ment, should succeed the bard of Rydal. | fire. He once said to one of his younger "Beyond all question," was the reply, “Ten- followers, "My dear, no public man who nyson.” “I am ashamed," rejoined Peel, “to | values his character ever destroys a letter say that, busy as I have been with public or a paper.” As a matter of fact, Peel put life, I have never read a line of Tennyson's. up every night all the letters and notes that Send me two or three of his poems that I had come to him during the day, and it is may be enabled to form an opinion.” The understood that considerably more than a poems sent were "Locksley Hall" and hundred thousand papers are in the possession "Ulysses.” Peel, with unusual warmth, ex of his literary executors. Some who ex- pressed admiration of both, bestowing upon ercise themselves upon the minor moralities “Ulysses" his highest praise, and he at once of private life will be shocked that he did made the appointment which Milne had ad- not respect his correspondents' stipulation.- vised.—T. H. S. ESCOTT, The Fortnightly Re- | JOHN MORLEY, "Richard Cobden.” view, September 1, 1885. (For incident of Peel's resignation con- Sometimes, said Rogers, there were sequent upon the requested discharge of flashes of great humor from Sir Robert Peel Queen Victoria's ladies of the royal house- in conversation. Once when he was present hold, see VICTORIA.) at a meeting of the trustees of the British PENN, William, 1644-1718. American Museum, somebody else noticed some expen- statesman. sive purchases (of pictures, I think) by young Tomline, and added, "What would his grand- An order came down to Oxford from father" (the bishop) "say if he could now Charles II. that the surplice should be worn look up?" Peel said slyly, "I observe you according to the custom of ancient times. don't say look down.”—LORD STANHOPE, It was an unusual sight then at that univer- sity. The sight operated differently upon "Conversations with Wellington." different persons, but so disagreeably upon When Sheil had learned by heart but William Penn, who conceived that the sim- failed to remember the exordium of a speech plicity and spirituality of the Christian re. beginning with the word "Necessity,” which ligion would be destroyed by the introduc- he repeated three times, Sir Robert Peel tion of outward ceremonies and forms, that continued, "is not always the mother of in- | he could not bear it. Engaging therefore his vention.”—Chambers's Journal, May 15, 1886. friend Robert Spencer and some other young "I never," writes Viscount Cardwell, men to join him, he fell upon those students "heard him speak unkindly of his persecutors who appeared in surplices and he and they and when I maintained this to Lady Peel together tore them everywhere over their her reply was, 'Yes; but you cannot know | heads. This outrage was of so flagrant and that he would never allow me to do so.'" public a nature that the college immediately The Quarterly Review, April, 1899. took it up and the result was that William There is a story that Sir Robert, in the and several of his associates were expelled. last year of his administration, appeared late Several of his particular Friends were at night in the bedroom of Cardwell, then one day assembled at Burlington. While his private secretary, and paced up and they were smoking their pipes it was an- down without saying a word, Cardwell watch: nounced to them that the governor's barge ing with amazed perplexity from his bed. was in sight and coming up the river. The At last he broke silence. “Never destroy al company supposed that he was on his way Ponn Petar I. 514 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES to Pennsbury, about seven miles higher up. pared for defense; but told William Penn, They continued smoking, but being after and his company of Quakers, that he did not wards informed that he had landed at a expect their assistance and they might re- wharf near them and was just entering the tire into the cabin; which they did, except house, they suddenly concealed their pipes. James Logan, who chose to stay upon deck Perceiving from the smoke, as he went into and was quartered to a gun. The supposed the room, what they had been doing and dis enemy proved a friend, so there was no fight. covering that the pipes had been hid, he said, ing; but when the secretary went down to very pleasantly, "Well, Friends, I am glad communicate the intelligence, William Penn to see that you are at least ashamed of your rebuked him severely for staying on deck old practise.” “Not entirely so," replied and undertaking to assist in defending the Samuel Jennings, one of the company, “but vessel, contrary to the principles of Friends; we preferred laying down our pipes to of. especially as it had not been required by the fending a weak brother.”—THOMAS CLARK captain. This reprimand, being before all SON, "Memoirs of William Penn.” the company, piqued the secretary, who an- The honorable and learned Mr. Logan, swered: "I being thy servant, why did thee who had always been of that sect, wrote an not order me to come down ? But thee was willing enough that I should stay and help address to them declaring his approbation of fight the ship when thee thought there was a defensive war and supporting his opinion danger.”—BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, "Autobiog. by many strong arguments. He put into my hands sixty pounds to be laid out in lottery raphy.” tickets for the battery, with directions to Since Macaulay wrote of Penn in his apply what prizes might be drawn wholly to "History of England,” it has been proved that service. He told me the following anec that he allowed himself to accept material dote of his old master, William Penn, respect. absolutely false; he even confounded William ing defense. He came over from England, Penn-on account of one short letter-with when a young man, with that Proprietary, an obscure broker of court favors who spelled and was his secretary. It was war time and his name with a final e.-C. F. MCLEAN, their ship was chased by an armed vessel, American Historical Magazine, January, supposed to be an enemy. Their captain pre. | 1907. 515 Pong OF THE GREAT Petor I. sia.” PETER I., 1672-1725 Czar of Russia SOURCES Atheneum, The. HABT, W. H., Notes and Queries. BAIN, R. NISBET, "Peter III."; "Pupils HUNT, LEIGII, "Old Court Suburb." of Peter the Great”; “The First Roma KELLY, WALTER H., “History of Russia." nofls." North American Review, The. Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine. PERCY, “Anecdotes." Cornhill Magazine. Quarterly Review, The. DASI KOW, PRINCESS, “Memoirs." SAINT-SIMON, "Memoirs." DEMAULDE, CLAUDE, “The Women of the SCHUYLER, EUGENE, Scribner's Monthly. Renaissance." STAEHLIN, JACOB VON, “Original Anecdotes DUBOIS, CARDINAL, “Memoirs." of Peter the Great." EUSTAPHIEVE, M., “The Resources of Rug. Temple Bar. THISELTON-DYER, T. F., “Royalty in All Fog's Journal. Ages.” FORFAR, JAMES, Belgravia. VERNEY, F. P., The Nineteenth century. FOWLER, GEORGE, “Lives of the Sovereigns WALISZEWSKI, K., "Peter the Great." of Russia." WILHELMINA, MARGRAVINE OF BAIREUTH, Globe, The. "Memoirs." THE RULER AT HOME | find the furniture of the house poor and His Idea of Statesmanship shabby beyond description. “What's the meaning of this?" roared the czar. “Alas, Peter the Great, himself a thoroughly hon- your majesty," replied the prince, “I was est man, in the strictly pecuniary sense of obliged to sell all my rich furniture in or- the term, was determined that his servants der to settle up with the treasury.” Peter should be as honest as himself, and employed looked at him sternly for a moment and then his favorite weapon — intimidation -- with replied: “I know better; none of these cruel vigor but very little permanent effect. games with me. If when I next come to see "I'll have no peculation at all in my realms," you your house is not furnished as becomes he exclaimed on one occasion. “Then your your rank, I'll make you pay me as much majesty must be content to live in your again.” It is needless to say that on the realms all alone,” replied the impulsive czar's next visit the palace was more mag- Yaguzhinsky; "for we all rob you; some take nificently furnished than ever. Neverthe- only a little, some take a great deal, but all legs, Menshikoff, meanly relying on the af. of us take something." ... By far the worst fection of the czar, and the advocacy of the offender in this respect was Menshikoff. The good-natured czaritza, continued to swindle greed and extortion of "Little Alec" were his master to the very last and it is said insatiable, and he presumed again and again that the total amount of the fines he had on the indulgence of his long-suffering mas- to pay on conviction amounted to more than ter. In 1718 he was imprisoned for malad- two million roubles.--BAIN. ministration in Inria, and condemned to pay a fine of two hundred thousand roubles (fifty The senate had discovered evidence that thousand pounds). ... On another occasion the Prince Menshikoff had been guilty of the czar found out that Menshikoff had not gross peculation in the matter of providing only been plundering the treasury himself, the army with food and weapons. The czar but allowed his subordinates to do so. At seemed unwilling to listen to any such this discovery Peter was so incensed that he charges, and so the senators, in order to belabored the favorite severely with his cane bring the matter to a head, formulated the and forbade him ever to appear before him most serious charges and placed the docu- again. But the Empress Catherine inter ment where the czar would be certain to see ceded for him and he was forgiven once more. it. Although he had evidently read the Peter, however, for a time deprived him of his paper he made no reference to it and it con- immense estates in the Ukraine and con- | tinued to lie where it had first been placed. demned him to pay another two hundred Tired of inaction and deeming the matter thousand roubles. It is said that when “old one of importance the senators determined Peter" paid "Little Alec" a friendly visit to speak to the czar and selected Prince a few days afterwards, he was surprised to l Tolstoi as their spokesman. The czar lis- Peter I. 516 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES tened patiently and, when he was asked what intelligence, instantly became the laughing his pleasure was in the matter, replied: | stock of the whole court; he had the priv- “That Menshikoff shall remain Menshikoff.” ilege of saying anything he chose at the peril, The senators placed their own interpretation however, of being kicked or horse-whipped, on that remark and none dared to refer to without daring to offer any sort of retalia- the matter again.-STAEHLIN, citing Count tion; everything he did was ridiculed, his Ostermann. complaints treated as jests and his sarcasms As Peter was sitting with his senate one sneered at or commented on as marvelous day he heard a great deal about the dishon- proofs of understanding in a fool.-DASH- esty prevailing in his country. Enraged at KOW. what he heard he cried out: “I intend to Peter allowed himself to be addressed put a stop to this dishonesty.” He called in the second person singular every day of the general advocate, Paul Ivanovitch Jagon his life in a constant succession of such en- schinsky, and instructed him to prepare a tertainments. If any one went too far and ukase according to which every person would it suited him to take notice of the fact the be hanged who stole even the cost of a piece of only means of repression he would ever re- string. The general advocate, who had al sort to took the shape of an enormous bumper ready seized the pen, hesitated when he heard of brandy, which the offender was forced to the purport of the czar's words and said: swallow at a single draught. This was per- "Just think of the consequences of such a fectly certain to put an end to his pranks, law.” “Write as I have told you," com for as a general rule it sent him under the manded the czar. Jagonschinsky still hesi table. ... Peter had a particular liking for tated and finally blurted out: “Do you wish sitting near ecclesiastical dignitaries. He me to leave the czar without any servants would mingle the most unexpected theolog. and Russia without any population? We ical discussions with his most copious liba- are all dishonest; it is only a matter of de tions and would apply the regulation punish- gree.” The czar burst into laughter at the ment of a huge bumper of brandy to the er- remark and did not refer to the matter again. rors of doctrine which he loved to detect, -STAEALIN, to whom Jagonschinsky related whereupon now and then the controversial- the incident. ists would come to blows, to his huge delight. He would often send for officials, high -WALISZEWSKI. and low, with whom he had to find fault, into They (the Jews] called on van Witsen, his cabinet, and would there indicate his mayor of Amsterdam, and induced him to displeasure by a sound drubbing with his propose to the czar the domiciling of Jews in doubina. This indeed was considered a Russia in order that they might engage in mark of favor-it being the sovereign's will business there. ... The czar listened ear- that on such occasions fault and punishment nestly to the proposal and then smilingly an- should alike be kept a secret. The only per swered: “My dear Witsen, you know the sons present were such faithful servants as Jews and also the state of honesty in my Nartof. ... During the Persian campaign a country; I know both. For this reason I do temporary favorite, Wolynski, was accosted not think it would be proper for me to per- one night close to the imperial tent and with: mit Jews to live in Russia. Tell them for out a word of explanation overwhelmed with me that I thank them for their offer, but a shower of blows. All at once the czar that they would be objects of sympathy if held his hand. The darkness and a chance they were to settle in Russia, for, though they resemblance had misled him; there had been are robbing the whole world now in their a miscarriage of justice. All he vouchsafed dealings, they would be no match for my Rus. was coolly to remark: “No matter; thou sians.”—STAEHLIN, citing Hofy, surgeon to art one day to deserve what I have given thee Peter. now. Thou wilt only have to remind me then After the battle of Pultowa, when he that the debt is paid.” And the opportunity broke the power of Charles XII., he dis- was not long in coming.–WALISZEWSKI, cit- played magnanimity towards the officers ing Scherer. whom the fate of war had forced to yield up It is well known that during the reign of their swords. In the course of the banquet Peter the First it was the custom of that he gave in honor of them, Peter pledged a tyrant to punish those nobles that had of bumper “to his tutors in the art of war." fended him by an imperial order that they | One of the Swedish generals asked to whom should become fools, from which moment the he referred. “Yourselves, gentlemen,” the unfortunate victim, however endowed with I czar replied, “the brave commanders." 517 Peter I. OF THE GREAT ten. “Then,” asked his colloquist, “has not your did not eat it," wailed Velten. “Did I not majesty been somewhat ungrateful in dealing particularly instruct you to keep that cheese 80 hardly with your teachers ?” The czar for my own individual consumption ?” “I was so pleased with the reply that he un must have forgotten all about it.” “Then I buckled his own sword and presented it to shall give you a memorandum so that you the general, requesting that he would wear will not forget it again." Whereupon Peter it in token of his esteem for his valor and arose from the table and, having given Velten fidelity to his sovereign.-FORFAR, Belgravia, a sound caning, resumed his seat and the May, 1879. enjoyment of the cheese, which enjoyment was repeated for several evenings until She interceded with her consort for Mons Peter without assistance had disposed of and was ordered once for all never to bring every morsel of the precious cheese.--STAEH- the matter up again. Elsewhere we read that LIN, citing von Dvernick, son-in-law of Vel- the czar became angry at Catherine's repeated appeals. He was standing with her at the time before a window of Venetian plate glass Peter added another note: “I do not and he said: “Look at this glass; it is think that Marlborough can be bought, be- mean stuff; the fire has ennobled it and cause he is so enormously rich. However, now it is an ornament of my palace; but a you can promise him about two hundred blow from my hand can restore it to its thousand or more."--EUGENE SCHUYLER, original dust”; after which he smashed the Scribner's Monthly, 1881. window. Catherine answered with a sigh: Peter the Great, at an interview with the "Was its destruction a deed worthy of you, 1 kings of Denmark and Poland, hearing them and has your palace become finer in conse boast of the superiority of their soldiers, quence?" On hearing this, the emperor em instead of disputing the point with them, pro- braced her and went away; but on the same posed an experiment which was immediately evening sent her the sentence passed on assented to, and which was to order a gren- the two prisoners.—Temple Bar, July, adier to jump out of a third-floor window. 1864. The king of Denmark tried the experiment Peter the Great had adopted the Dutch on one of his bravest and most loyal sol- custom of eating bread and cheese after his diers, who on his knees refused compliance. usual evening meal. Among the cheeses he The king of Poland waived the trial alto- preferred the variety known as Limburger. gether, conceiving it to be hopeless; when One evening a cheese of this kind just suited Peter ordered one of his soldiers, the least his taste and he gave orders that he was to promising that could be picked out, to de- be served with that particular cheese until scend the window. The soldier merely crossed he had consumed it; although the cheese was himself, touched his hat according to form, not a very large one and he suspected some boldly marched to the window and had al. unwelcome assistance in the devouring of it. ready one of his legs out when the emperor Accordingly one evening, in the temporary stopped him and told him he was satis- absence of his table superintendent, Peter fied. The kings were astonished and each took from his pocket a mathematical mea made the soldier a present of a hundred suring instrument and recorded in his memo- ducats, requesting Peter to promote him to randum book the exact size of the cheese as the rank of officer. The czar answered that returned to the larder. As Mr. Velten was he would do so to oblige them, but not to about to clear the table, Peter said to him: reward the soldier, for all his soldiers would “That cheese is a particularly fine one; be do as much and by rewarding them in the sure to take good care of it for me and it same way he would have no soldiers at all. - will serve me for a number of evenings." EUSTAPHIEVE. The cheese was accordingly served the next evening, but unfortunately for Mr. Velten Sumptuary Legislation its size had been greatly diminished. Peter He began to denationalize his subjects noticed this at once, but in order not to be by putting a tax upon their beards and their deceived by its appearance, took out his petticoats. Strange to say, his subjects were memorandum and measuring instrument. so much more patriotic than their master, Having convinced himself that his impres. that the tax became very productive. Peter sion was correct, he sent for Velten and asked increased his revenue, but could not diminish him what became of the rest of the cheese, the beards or petticoats. He was obliged to at the same time showing him the measure resort to force, and by "entertaining a score ment he had taken the evening before. "I of tailors and barbers” at each gate of Mos- Peter I. 518 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES cow, whose business it was to fasten upon Acquiring Knowledge every man who entered, and “to cut his pet- Peter I., the originator of everything ticoats all round about," as well as his whis- that is excellent in Russia, frequently went kars, he at last suoceeded in humanizing to the Muller iron works in Istia, about their costume process highly offensive, and ninety miles from Moscow, being in the which roused the clergy, who naturally habit of visiting workshops and encourage favored the Russian nationality upon which ing the employees. He was taking the waters they were fattening, to denounce him as of Martial and attending to affairs of state, anti-Christ.-The North American Review, incidentally, however, examining into the October, 1845. various processes for the manufacture of iron It was a sore trial to Peter to persuade and acquiring the art of making bar iron. his subjects to dispense with the flowing He obtained the mastery of this and on the beard and flowing garb of the Tartar and last day of his sojourn made eighteen puds adopt the shaven chin, tight trousers and -each pud being forty pounds--placing his cleansed skin of the European. Even with mark on each bar, his bojars and court peo- his army he had considerable difficulty in ef ple being compelled to carry coals, work the fecting these social reforms on account of bellows, stir the fire and do such other work the inherited and deeply rooted belief in the for which he required assistance. A few sanctity of the beard and the divineness of days afterwards he called on the owner of dirt. The tug of war came, however, when the works, Werner Muller, at Moscow, and, he tried to force these artistic innovations after speaking highly of the iron works, in- on the body of the people. He legislated quired how much pay a master smith would that citizens of all ranks should curtail their receive per pud for making bar iron. "Three coat-tails and cut down their beards, which copecks or one altin," answered Muller. were simply a cover and hiding place for un- “Well, then,” replied the czar, “I have earned clean animals; but sold indulgences on the eighteen altin and I demand my pay.” Wer- payment of a fine of one hundred roubles by ner Muller at once went to his cash box, the wealthier class; and by the poorer ones, took out eighteen ducats, counted them out such as the priests and serfs, a fine to the czar and said: “Such a workman as of a copeck every time they passed the your majesty ought not to be paid by the gate of a city.-FORFAR, Belgravia, May, pud.” Czar Peter declined to take the money, 1879. saying: “I did no better work than other master smiths; pay me just what you pay One of the hardest tasks was persuading other master smiths, and with the money I them to lay aside their long beards. Most of shall buy myself a pair of shoes, of which the nobility lost theirs in the czar's pres. I stand in need at present.” His majesty ence, where there was no room to dispute his showed his footgear, a pair of once re-soled orders. The common people were, however, shoes, but again in a state of dilapidation. not so easily brought to follow the new fash He took the eighteen altin and went to a ion, till a tax was laid at the city's gates on store where he purchased himself a pair of every one who went in or out with a beard, shoes and frequently afterwards showed and this was to be paid as often as they them at court, saying: “Those I earned my- passed, by which means they have at last self with the work of my own hands."- been brought to conform.-Atheneum, March, STAEHLIN, citing Peter Muller, son of Werner 1837, quoting Ambassador Whitworth's Muller. despatches. Here (at Pereiaslavl] Peter had built The priests refused to bless those of their himself a one-storied wooden house--the win- flocks whose beards were not of the regula- dows glazed with mica-a double-headed tion length and breadth of the ancient ikons. eagle with a gilded wooden crown set over Peter the Great himself, who could do most the entrance door was the sole adornment things, was unable to abolish the beard, so of the humble building; but life went cheer- he made money out of it by taxing it. - ily within those walls. The shipyard was but BAIN. a few steps distant, but it is hardly likely To civilize his dominions Peter the Great that Peter worked in it during his frequent required his subjects of both sexes to learn midwinter visits to the shores of his "little dancing, and he directed the performance, sea.” There was the greatest difficulty in lik a general directing maneuvers. He in: | February, 1692, in inducing him to leave it, sisted on the gentlemen kissing the ladies on to receive the envoy of the Shah of Persia the lips.-DEVALLDE. | in audience. The fact was, doubtless, that 519 Peter I. OF THE GREAT in that retired spot, far from the maternal to the services they had rendered, should eye, and from other less kindly curiosity, have the rank of brigadiers and majors.- he felt himself more free to indulge in other STAEALIN, citing General Baggagemaster pastimes. These were shared with numer Bruyns. ous companions, frequently summoned from But besides his proficiency so readily Moscow. The carriages often rolled past acquired in all maritime matters, he made caravans laden with hogsheads of wine and considerable progress in civil engineering, beer and hydromel and kegs of brandy. mathematics and the science of fortifica- There were ladies, too, amongst the visitors. tions, besides completely mastering the Dutch In the spring, when the lake was open, ship- language, and acquiring the miscellaneous building and drill began again, but none accomplishments of tooth-drawing, blood-let- of it was very serious. A year before the ting and tapping for the dropsy. He was campaign of Azov, Peter has not made up his indefatigable in visiting every public insti. mind where, on what sea and against what tution, charitable, literary or scientific, in enemies, he will utilize his future war fleet. examining the manufacturing establishments, But he has already decided that Lefort, the corn mills, saw mills, paper mills, oil who has never been a sailor, shall be his factories, all of which he studied practically, admiral; that the vessel on which he shall with a view to introducing immediately these hoist his flag shall be called the Elephant; branches of industry into his own domin. that the ship will be full of gilding, have ions and, before leaving Holland, he spent an excellent Dutch crew, and no less excel- some time at Texel, solely for the purpose lent captain--Peter himself. The young of examining the whale ships and qualifying czar's last journey to Pereiaslavl took place himself to instruct his subjects in this pur- in May, 1693. He was not to look at his suit after his return. “What is that? That lake or shipyard again in twenty years- I want to see," was his eternal exclamation till 1722, when he was on the road to Persia. to the quiet Hollanders, who looked with The fresh-water flotilla, which had cost him profound astonishment at this boisterous for- so much pains, given him so much delight eign prince, in carpenter's disguise, flying and never served any useful purpose, was about like a harlequin, swinging his stick lying in utter decay-hulls, masts and rig. over the backs of those who stood in his ging, all rotten and useless. He fell into a way, making strange grimaces and rushing fury—these were sacred relics and he gave from one object to another with a restless the strictest orders for their preservation, activity of mind and body which seemed All in vain. In 1803 only one boat remained, incomprehensible. He devoured every pos- lying in a pavilion, itself fallen into ruin. sible morsel of knowledge with unexampled There was not a sign of the house in which voracity; but the sequel proved that his mind Peter had lived; everything, even to the had an ostrich-like digestion as well as ap- birch trees, under the shade of which the petite. The seeds which he collected in Hol- carpenter's apprentice once rested from his land, Germany and England, bore a rich har. toil, had utterly disappeared.—WALISZEWSKI, vest in the Scythian wildernesses, where his citing Oustrialof. hand planted them on his return.-The North One evening a number of them [ship American Review, October, 1845. carpenters] were assembled with the czar when he asked them to be seated. He re- The house, or rather cottage, in which peated his invitation but it was not ac- Peter the Great resided during the founda- cepted. He then insisted on the reason for tion of St. Petersburg is held almost sacred by the Russians, and has been covered over this non-compliance and was told by one by a brick building of arcades, to protect of those present that they were in rank it from the ravages of time. It was at this lower than a captain in the army and that cottage, which consists of only three rooms, even staff officers were by law compelled to that Peter entertained a Dutch skipper, remain standing in the presence of his who, on hearing that St. Petersburg was majesty, the right to be seated being limited building, and that the emperor had a great to generals and brigadiers. The czar smil. passion for ships and commerce, resolved to ingly replied: “Well, just for this one time, try his fortune, and accordingly arrived in be seated and I shall speak to the senate con. the first merchant vessel that ever sailed up cerning your rank.” He then made a mem- | the Neva. The Dutchman was the bearer of orandum on his tablets and a few days after-| letters of introduction to the captain of the wards came an imperial ukase from the sen- | port, from a friend in Holland, requesting ate providing that ship carpenters, according | him to use his interest to procure a freight Peter L. 520 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES for him. Peter was working like a common chair, fell on his knees before the emperor laborer in the admiralty, as the galliot and empress, and immediately implored for- passed and saluted with two or three guns. giveness for the freedom he had used. Peter The emperor was uncommonly delighted; enjoyed the scene and, raising the terrified and, being informed of the Dutchman's suppliant, made him kiss the hand of the business, he resolved to have a frolic with empress, presented him with fifteen hundred him. He accordingly commanded the captain roubles, gave him a freight, and ordered that of the port to see the skipper, as soon as he his vessel, so long as her timbers kept to- landed, and direct him to the emperor, as a gether, should be permitted to enter all the merchant just settled there. Peter repaired Russian ports free of duty. This privilege to this cottage with his empress, who, to made the rapid fortune of the owner.-PERCY, humor the joke, dressed herself in a plain “Anecdotes." habit, such as suited the wife of a merchant. Amongst the many persons sent by Peter The Dutchman was introduced to the em- into foreign countries was General Major peror, who received him with great kindness, Galovin, who was ordered to proceed to and they sat eating bread and cheese and Venice to learn shipbuilding, or rather the smoking for some time. The Dutchman's art of building galleys. Galovin returned eye in the meantime examined the room and after a four years' residence and Peter took he began to think that no one who lived in him to Cronstadt to ascertain the extent of so mean a place could be of any service to the knowledge he had acquired. It was soon him. The empress soon entered the room, manifest that he knew nothing. Peter ques. when the skipper addressed her by saying tioned, and questioned him again, as to what that he had brought her a cheese; for which, he had learned, and at length the poor of- affecting an awkward manner, she thanked ficer was obliged to acknowledge that he had him. Being much pleased with her appear. learned little or nothing. "What on earth did ance, he took from his coat a piece of linen, you do?” roared the worn-out Peter, “during and begged her acceptance of it also. “Oh, all the four years you resided there?" Kate," exclaimed the emperor, "you will now "Smoked tobacco, drank wine and played the be as fine and proud as an empress! There, | bass-viol,” replied the equally worn-out and you are a lucky woman; you never had such now desperate officer. This open avowal of shifts as you will now have in your life the truth disarmed the czar and he allowed before.” This was followed by the stranger him to retain his rank and satisfied himself begging to have a kiss, which she coyly per: by issuing an official order that henceforth mitted. At this moment Prince Menshikoff, General Major Galovin should be called Galo- the favorite and minister of Peter the Great, vin Bass-Viol.–Athenæum, March 11, 1837. entered, decorated with all his orders, and stood before the emperor uncovered. The His Conception of Conviviality skipper began to be amazed; and Peter, per- While his father and grandfather had ceiving it, made a signal to the prince that been content to amuse themselves with such he wished him to retire. The astonished freaks of nature [dwarfs and fools) in the Dutchman said: “Why, you appear to have seclusion of their "pleasure halls," Peter great acquaintance here!” “Yes," replied admitted the whole world to these fantastic Peter, "and so may you, if you stay here entertainments, to which he added gross and but ten days; there are plenty of such needy extravagant touches of his own. As a speci- noblemen as the one you saw, who are al men we may take the marriage of the jester, ways in debt and very glad to borrow of any Yakov Turgeney, with a sexton's daughter, one; and they have found me out; but, sir, in January, 1694. The bride and bridegroom you must beware of these fellows; resist rode to church in the czar's best velvet their importunities, however flattering; and coach and behind them, in solemn proces- do not be dazzled by their stars and garters sion, came the highest dignitaries and the and such like baubles.” This explanatory most eminent patricians in the land, mounted advice put the stranger a little more at his on oxen, asses, swine and big dogs, some ease and he drank and smoked very cheer arrayed in most splendid costumes, others fully. He then made a bargain with the im- dressed in sacking of glazed linen, or cat- perial merchant for a cargo; and, just as he skin caftans, with straw boots, mouse-skin had concluded it, the officer of the guard, gloves and bast mantles. The proceedings which had been changed, entered to receive terminated as usual with a three days' drink- orders, and, before Peter could stop him, | ing bout.-BAIN. addressed him by the title of imperial In 1714 Peter took it into his head to majesty. The Dutchman sprang from his | vary the monotony of this program by 521 Peter I. OF THE GREAT celebrating the wedding of Knespapa Zotof, trian resident, Pleyer, the Hanoverian min- an old man of eighty-four, whose sons were ister, Weber, the Dutch resident, de Brie, distinguished officers in the army. One of as German Shepherds, blew the bagpipes. them vainly besought the czar to spare this Certain gentlemen, Michael Glebof, Peter and shame to his father's old age. The bride Nikita Hitof, had been dispensed from per- was a noble lady, Anna Pashkof, nearly sixty | forming on a musical instrument on account years of age. Immense preparations were of their age, but they had to put in an ap- made for the celebration of this extraordinary pearance. The czarevitch, garbed as a hunts- wedding. We must not forget that the man, blew his horn; Catherine, with eight Northern war, with all its dreary array of of her ladies, wore Finnish costumes; the sacrifice and mourning, which sucked the re- old czarina, Marfa, the widow of Czar Feo- sources of the country dry, was then in prog. dor, appeared in Polish dress. The Princess ress. Yet four months in advance all the of Ost-Friesland had an old German costume. lords and ladies of the court had orders to All these ladies played the flute. Peter, be ready to play their parts in the cere dressed as usual as a sailor, rattled the drum. mony, and to send details of their chosen He was surrounded by a noisy and motley disguises to the chancellor, Count Golovkin, crew of Venetians blowing shrill whistles; so that there might not be more than three Honduras savages, who waved their lances; of any character. Twice over, on the 12th of Poles, scraping violins; Kalmacks, tinkling December, 1714, and the 15th of January, the Russian guitar; Norwegian peasants, 1715, performers and costumes were in- | Lutheran pastors, monks; Catholic bishops spected by Peter himself. With his own hand with stags' horns on their heads; Raskolniks, he wrote out all the instructions and ar whale fishers, Armenians, Japanese, Lapps rangements for the ceremonial, specially in and Tunguses. The noise of the instruments, vented for the occasion. On the appointed the screams of the bears, the clang of the day, at a signal given by a cannon fired bells that rang out on every church tower from the fortress of St. Petersburg, the male and the acclamations of thousands of on- and female participators in the masquerade lookers rose in an infernal cacophony of gathered. ... The procession formed up in sound. “This is the patriarch's wedding," front of the czar's palace, crossing the frozen shouted the spectators; "long live the patri. Neva, took its way to the church of St. Peter arch and his wife.” The ceremonies closed, and St. Paul, on the opposite bank, where as may be imagined, with a banquet, which a priest over ninety years of age, actually soon became an orgy, during which a flock brought from Moscow for the purpose, of trembling octogenarians acted as cup- awaited the bride and bridegroom. At its bearers. The festivities continued the next head was Romodanovski, the mock Cæsar, day and lasted well into February.-WALIS- dressed as King David, carrying a lyre, | ZEWSKI, citing Golikof, letter from de Brie draped in a bearskin. Four bears were har. and Dolgoroukof. nessed to his sledge and a fifth followed it Of these drinking bouts the czar gave a like a footman. These creatures screamed memorable one at Peterhof, when the guests in a most frightful manner under the blows were so plied with Tokay that they were which were rained upon them from start to scarcely able to stand, although they were finish. King David was followed by the bride obliged to empty each a bowl, holding a full and bridegroom, seated on a very high sledge, quart, received from the czarina's own hand, surrounded by Cupids, a stag with huge which prostrated them in the garden and horns on the coachman's box, and a goat elsewhere. At four o'clock in the afternoon seated behind them. The mock patriarch wore his pontifical robes. All the greatest the guests were aroused and brought to the people of the capital-ministers, aristocrats czar in his pleasure house, where he ordered and diplomatic corps—followed the proces- them each to take a hatchet and follow him; sion, some of them more than a little con- he led them into a wood of young trees and strained and uncomfortable; but for that fell to work most stoutly, setting the exam. Peter did not care a jot. Prince Men ple to his guests, who, not having as yet re- shikoff, Admiral Paraxin, General Bruce, and covered their senses, followed their sovereign's Count Vitzthum, the envoy of Augustus II., example courageously during three hours, costumed as Hamburg burgomasters, played when the fumes of the wine had pretty well the hurdy-gurdy. The Russian chancellor, the evaporated. The czar thanked them for their Princes James and Gregory Dolgorouki, the labor and invited them to supper, when a Princes Peter and Demetrius Galitzin, dressed double dose of the day's carouse sent them as Chinamen, played on the flute. The Aus. | all to sleep, from which they were aroused 523 Peter I. OF THE GREAT ing was terrible when it was not spontane away when by their master's orders the ous; kicks, thumps, a thrashing with a rope's plumage of the bird they believed them- end or a stick awaited the unlucky man selves to have devoured was respectfully who troubled his repose.-KELLY. presented to them.-WALISZEWSKI. In September, 1698, at a banquet given One of his favorites, Admiral Golovin, in honor of the emperor's envoy, Guarient, refused to eat salad because he hated the the czar lost his temper with his general- taste of vinegar, which always made him issimo Shein in the matter of certain army ill. Peter immediately emptied a great flask promotions of which he disapproved. He of it down his throat and almost choked him. struck the table with his naked sword, ex- -- WALISZEWSKI, citing Rosenheim and claiming: “Thus will I cut the whole of thy Korb. regiment to pieces and I will pull thine own He always carried with him a number skin over thine ears." When Romodonovski of surgical instruments and was fond of and Zotof attempted to interfere he flew making use of them. Polbojarof, one of his at them. One had his fingers almost cut attendants, was married to a woman who off, the other received several wounds on was inclined to live a gay life. Polbojarof his head. Lefort, or, as some other wit. conceived an idea of getting even with her nesses declare, Menshikoff, was the only per and so one day he assumed a very sad air son who could succeed in calming him. But just as the czar was passing. "What is the only a few days later, when supping with trouble?" inquired Peter. "I am annoyed by Colonel Tchambers, he knocked the same Le a woman," was the reply, “who is crying with fort down and trampled on him, and when the toothache and still refuses to have the Menshikoff ventured at some entertainment troublesome tooth removed.” “We shall see to wear his sword while he was dancing, about that,” cried Peter, reaching for a for- he boxed his ears so soundly that the favor. ceps and leading the way for the servants' ite's nose began to bleed. In 1703, taking apartments. When the woman was told of offense at the remarks addressed to him in the errand of his majesty, she declared that public by the Dutch resident, he gave im none of her teeth troubled her. “That is mediate proof of his displeasure by a blow just the difficulty,” cried Polbojarof; "when from his fist and several more with the arrangements are made to remove the tooth flat of his sword. No notice was taken of it ceases to hurt her, but immediately after- this outburst, the diplomatic corps in the wards it begins again.” “We will attend to czar's capital having long since learned to all that,” cried the czar; "you hold her head make a virtue of necessity. The Raab fam and arms and show me the tooth." The re- ily, resident in Esthonia, still preserve a sult was that the woman was soon minus cane with which Peter, enraged at not find one good tooth. A few days afterwards Peter ing horses at the neighboring posting house, was told the truth by a servant of the woman wreaked his fury on the back of the pro and he sentenced Polbojarof to a severe beat- prietor of the country house. This gentle ing.-STAEHLIN, citing Jacob Velten, imperial man, having demonstrated his innocence, was chef. permitted to keep the cane by way of com- The more knowing and initiated guests pensation. And again, Ivan Savitch Brykin, wave away soups and such-like edibles, and the ancestor of the celebrated archeologist manifest a special appetite for tongues, hams Sneguiref, used to tell a story that he had and viands that cannot be tampered with seen the czar kill a servant, who had been or made the vehicles of practical joking, for slow about uncovering in his presence, with as often as not it happens that a bunch of blows from his cane.—WALISZEWSKI, citing dead mice will be drawn out of a soup, or Oustrialof, Korb, despatch from Baluze, Rus- discovered snugly imbedded in a dish of green sian state papers and Popoff. peas; and sometimes, when his guests have When piloting his flotilla of galleys on well partaken of certain pastries, the czar the waters of the Don, in 1699, he noticed will courteously inquire if the cat, wolf, a Dutch sailor enjoying a fricassee of tor raven or other unclean animal proved a sa- toise caught in the river. He mentioned it vory or delicate morsel, with what result let to his Russians and there was a general the imaginative guess.-FORFAR, Belgravia, outcry of disgust. Such food appeared to Vlay, 1879. them abominable and unclean. Straightway Peter was traveling incognito in a part his cook had orders to serve the horrid dish of Finland, just conquered, where he was at his own table under the guise of chicken. executing some naval works; he met an over- Shein and Saltikof, who dined on it, fainted | fat man who told him he was going to St. Peter L. 524 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Petersburg. “What for?" said the czar. “To wright's tools, with this inscription: "My consult a doctor about my fat, which has | rank is that of a scholar and I need mas- become very oppressive." "Do you know any ters."—WALISZEWSKI, citing Oustrialof. doctor there?" "No." "Then I will give you By the same whimsical spirit the ar- a word to my friend, Prince Menshikoff, and rangements were inspired for Peter's first he will introduce you to one of the emperor's and most famous journey to the South. He physicians." The traveler went to the prince's resolved to go as a private member of a house with a note; the answer was not de- great embassy of his nobles, under the plain layed; the next day, tied hands and feet, the name of Peter Mihailof, and to reveal his poor man was dragged off on a cart to the presence was made a capital offense. To keep mines. Two years afterwards Peter the up the farce he used to be introduced by Great was visiting the mines; he had forgot- back doors and up private staircases into ten the adventure of the over-fat man, when the presence of the monarchs whom he vis- suddenly a miner threw down his pick, rushed ited; who afterwards, on receiving the em- up to him and fell at his feet, crying: bassy in state, had to keep their countenances “Grace, grace, what is it I have done?” as they could, while they gravely inquired af- Peter looked at him astonished until he re- ter the health of their august brother sover- membered the story, and said: “Oh, so that eign at Moscow. Of course, the presence of is you. I hope you are pleased with me. Peter was everywhere known, for all Europe Stand up. How thin and slight you have was on the tip-toe of curiosity about him; and become! You are quite delivered from your the sight of the day was his tall figure, in over-fat; it is a first-rate cure. Go and re- a rough carpenter's jacket, wielding a hatchet, member that work is the best antidote for or handling the ropes, or perched high in your complaint.”——VERNEY, The Nineteenth the cross-trees, while solemn ambassadors Century, June, 1889. toiled up the rigging for an interview. The THE RULER ON HIS TRAVELS ladies tried to tame him, but with indif. ferent success, for the consciousness of his Making a Start own boorish manners made him incurably Peter himself did not venture to brave shy in the presence of elegance and refine- opinion to the extent of giving any official ment. Occasionally, after much resistance, character to his departure. All that he he allowed himself to be fêted, and was even dared to permit himself was a half clandes- persuaded to stand up in a dance; of which tine frolic, and there is a sort of naïve experiment upon him the Electress Sophia of timidity about the precautions taken to in- Hanover reports that, on feeling the whale- sure an incognito, which, with his consti- bones in his partner's corset as he grasped tutional petulance, he was to be the first her waist, he gave utterance to the opinion to break. A great embassy was organized, that "the German ladies have devilish hard charged with the mission to request the bones.”—The Quarterly Review, July, 1884. emperor, the kings of England and of Den- mark, the pope, the Low Countries, the In Holland Elector of Brandenburg and the republic One day, in the year 1697, the great of Venice—the whole of Europe, in fact, save Duke of Marlborough happened to be in the France and Spain—"to renew the ancient village of Saardam. He visited the dockyard bonds of friendship, so as to weaken the of one Mynheer Calf, a rich shipbuilder, and enemies of the Christian name." The ambas- was struck with the appearance of a journey. sadors were three in number. Lefort, as man at work there. He was a large, power- ambassador-in-chief, took precedence of his ful man, dressed in a red woolen shirt and colleagues, Golovin and Voznitzin. Their suite duck trousers, with a sailor's hat, and seated, consisted of fifty-five gentlemen and “volun with an adze in his hand, upon a rough log teers," amongst them a non-commissioned of of timber which lay on the ground. The ficer of the Preobrajenski regiment, who an man's features were bold and regular, his swered to the name of Peter Mihailof—the dark brown hair fell in natural curls about czar himself. During the whole of the jour his neck, his complexion was strong and ney, letters intended for the sovereign were ruddy, with veins somewhat distended, in. to bear the simple superscription: “To be dicating an ardent temperament and more given to Peter Mihailof.” This was mere luxurious habits than comported with his childishness--but there is something touching station; and his dark, keen eyes glanced from about one detail. The seal to be used by one object to another with remarkable rest- the mock non-commissioned officer represented lessness. He was engaged in earnest con- a young carpenter, surrounded by his ship- | versation with some strangers, whose re- 525 Peter L. OF THE GREAT marks he occasionally interrupted, while he Peter returned the wig with a word of rapidly addressed them in a guttural but not thanks. One of the czar's attachés said that unmusical voice. As he became occasionally the incident in the church was nothing at all excited in conversation, his features twitched remarkable as Peter was in the habit of convulsively, the blood rushed to his fore snatching the wig off the head of Prince head, his arms were tossed about with ex Menshikoff or any one who happened to be treme violence of gesticulation, and he seemed near him whenever he felt inclined to do so.- constantly on the point of giving way to STAEHLIN, citing State Syndic Wahl and some explosion of passion, or else falling into | Mayor Oehlers. a fit of catalepsy. His companions, however, When his embassy went to The Hague, did not appear alarmed by his fits of to be received in solemn audience, he re- vehemence, although they seemed to treat fused to accompany it, but intimated his de- him with remarkable deference; and, after sire to watch the reception from an adjoin- a short time his distorted features would ing room. Some company having entered this resume their symmetry and agreeable ex- apartment, the czar desired to leave it, but, pression, his momentary frenzy would sub- finding that for this purpose he was obliged side and a bright smile would light up his to cross the audience chamber, he requested whole countenance. The duke inquired the that the members of the States-General should name of this workman and was told it was turn their faces to the wall, so that they Pieter Baas, a foreign journeyman of re- might not see him. He reached The Hague markable mechanical abilities and great in- at eleven o'clock at night. At the Amster- dustry. Approaching, he entered into some dam Hotel, to which he was first conducted, slight conversation with him upon matters he refused the fine bed prepared for him in pertaining to his craft. While they were the best room, and insisted on climbing up conversing, a stranger of foreign mien and to the roof to find some tiny chamber. Then, costume appeared, holding a voluminous let- changing his mind utterly, he resolved to seek ter in his hand; the workman started up, lodging elsewhere. Thus it came about that snatched it from his hand, tore off the seals the Old Doelen Inn had the honor of his and greedily devoured its contents, while the presence. One of his servants was there al- stately Marlborough walked away unnoticed. ready, sleeping in a corner on his bearskin. The duke was well aware that in this thin The czar kicked him to his feet, saying, “Give disguise he saw the czar of Muscovy. Pieter me thy place."—WALISZEWSKI, citing Schel- Baas, or Boss Peter, or Master Peter, was tema. Peter, the despot of all the Russias, a man who had just found himself proprietor of a In Germany quarter of the globe with all its inhabitants, They were lodged at Monbijou, a palace had opened his eyes to the responsibilities belonging to the queen, who, to prevent a of his position and had voluntarily descended recurrence of the damage the Russians had from his throne for the noble purpose of caused in all other palaces they had inhab- qualifying himself to reascend it.-The North ited, had the house unfurnished and carried American Review, October, 1845. away everything fragile within it. The czar, his wife and all the court arrived some days On his second journey to Holland in after this at Monbijou by water. The king 1716, the czar arrived one Sunday forenoon and queen received them on the bank of the at Dantzig just as the gates were about to river. The king gave his hand to the czarina be closed. As he was driving through the to assist her to land. As soon as the czar city he was astonished that he did not see had disembarked he gave his hand to the any of the inhabitants, but this was ex- king, and said to him: "I am glad to see plained to him by the fact that they were you, my brother Frederick.” He afterwards all attending divine service. The czar con- approached the queen and wished to embrace cluded to do likewise. He was shown into a her, but she repulsed him. The czarina be- pew and paid strict attention to the ser gan by kissing the hand of the queen, which mon. As he had taken off his hat he ex she did several times. She then presented perienced a sensation of cold; without any to her the Duke and Duchess of Mecklen- ado he snatched the wig from the head of burg, who accompanied her, and four hun. the mayor in an adjoining pew, placed it on dred pretended ladies of her suite. They his own head and then resumed his atten were for the most part German maid-serv. tion to the sermon. There sat the mayor ants, who united the offices of attendant with his bald pate and Peter with the mayor's ladies, or women of the bedchamber, of cooks state wig; at the conclusion of the services and of washerwomen. Almost all of these Peter 1 526 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES creatures carried in their arms a child in rich his disposal into the market square, planted clothing; and when they were asked if they them opposite Peter's lodging and blazed were their own, they answered, with many away with them from four o'clock in the reverences after the manner of the Russians: afternoon until midnight, breaking all the “The czar has done me the honor to beget windows of the square, but accomplishing this child for me." The queen would not his object of gratifying the czar. Indeed, salute these creatures. The czarina in re the compliment seems to have been entirely turn treated the princesses of the blood with to Peter's taste; and as an earnest that his a great deal of haughtiness and it was with acknowledgments were not in empty phrases, much difficulty that the king persuaded her he condescended to get imperially drunk and to salute them. let everybody see how happy he had been The queen gave her hand to the czarina made. — Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, and, putting her on her right, conducted her May, 1876. to the audience chamber. The king and the One night, as he sat at supper with czar followed them. As soon as the latter the elector, in a low room floored with marble, prince saw me he recognized me, having seen one of the servants dropped a plate. In a me five years before. He took me in his arms moment Peter had bounded to his feet, with and hurt my face by kissing me. I gave him haggard eyes and features working; he drew boxes on the ears and fought him as much his sword and thrust in all directions, for- as I was able, telling him that I did not like tunately without wounding any one. When these familiarities and that he dishonored me, he calmed down he imperiously demanded that He laughed much at this idea and conversed punishment should be inflicted on the guilty with me for a considerable time.-WIL serving man. The difficulty was got over HELMINA. by having some poor devil, already sentenced The embassy dallied at Koenigsberg, for a different peccadillo, whipped before his waiting on events. Peter seized the oppor eyes.—WALISZEWSKI, citing Poellnitz. tunity of satisfying his curiosity, his im- patience to acquire knowledge—both of them In England as keen as ever. Certain of these curiosities Peter the Great had a strong aversion of his were more than singular, as when he to being looked at in public, a peculiarity insisted on seeing a criminal broken on the which when visiting this country kept him wheel, which instrument of torture he ap almost entirely aloof from the gaieties of parently dreamed of introducing, as a mat the court. On the birthday of the Princess ter of variety, into the criminal procedure of Anne, when a grand ball was given by Wil. his own country. The authorities demurred liam III. at Kensington, curiosity so far on the score of the non-existence of a crim prevailed over his diffidence as to induce him inal deserving such punishment. The czar to express a wish to be present. But he was astounded. “What, all this fuss about contented himself with occupying a small killing a man! Why not take one of the apartment where, without being seen himself, servants of my own suite ?”-WALISZEWSKI, he could be a spectator of the festive scene. citing Poellnitz. On another occasion, writes Lord Dartmouth, When he went out to walk the streets of Peter had a mind to see the king in Parlia- Koenigsberg as a simple tourist, every one ment, "in order to which he was placed in a took to his heels to avoid meeting him, for gutter upon the housetop, to peep in at the he had a fertile fancy for jokes of a far window, where he made such a ridiculous from agreeable order. Meeting a lady of the figure that neither king nor people could court one day, he stopped her with a sudden forbear laughing, which obliged him to re- gesture, shouting, "Halt!” in a voice of turn sooner than he intended.” It was prob- thunder. Then taking hold of the watch, ably from what was styled "the lantern" in which hung at her waist, he looked at the the roof of the old House of Commons that hour and departed.—WALISZEWSKI, citing the czar witnessed the proceedings below. - Posselt, Theiner and Herrmann. THISELTON-DYER. The Czar Peter when he took up his Peter seems to have dined frequently at quarters at the old house [at Leipzig) gave Kensington and it has been wondered how utterance to a fancy of his that the salute the two sovereigns got on so well together. fired in his honor was not sufficiently audible, But they held several predilections in com- whereupon the governor, determined to sat- mon; among which were unpolished manners, isfy the imperial mind, if possible, imme a dislike (in consequence) of being seen in diately moved twelve of the biggest guns at | society, and a love of Dutch habits, particu- 527 Peter I. OF THE GREAT larly gin and brandy drinking, the gin being Peter the Great sought to unbend him- chiefly on the king's side, and the brandy, self by being wheeled over the flowerbeds and as the greater stimulus, on the side of the neat parterres of his host's gardens in a czar. Sometimes he put pepper into it. | wheelbarrow, as poor Sir William Temple William took him one day from Kensington found to his cost.—The Globe, 1877. to the House of Lords, where the uncouth He admires English beef which has been Russian, always shy of being seen, particu ten or twelve months in salt, and makes his larly by "lords and gentlemen,” made the courtiers believe that the water in ships, lords and the king himself laugh by peeping | briny from a long voyage (when it stinks), strangely at them out of a window in the is universal water and makes them drink it. roof. He got the same kind of a sight at the He drove one day about thirty or forty of House of Commons; and even at a ball at the top of his nobility, old and young, into Kensington, on the Princess Anne's birth- a deep pond, where he put two live seahorses day, he contrived to be invisibly present in to them and went in and swam and dived a closet prepared for him on purpose, where after them himself; the company was sadly he could see without being seen. This was frightened, but they hurt nobody. None of the man who, when abroad, worked only in them can complain of his frolics, since him- dock vards, and when in his own country self is always the first man.-Athenæum, paraded himself on every possible occasion, April 25, 1891, quoting the Hale family serious or farcical.—HUNT. manuscripts in the British Museum. The barbarian was so averse to crowds The late renowned czar, Peter the Great, and the curiosity of the mob that he gener being in England in term time and seeing a ally drove out to Kensington in a hackney multitude of people swarming about the coach and was admitted by a private door great hall wherein are held the superior to the king's apartments.-Cornhill Maga courts of judicature, is reported to have zine, November, 1898. asked some about him, "Who all these busy There is no uncertainty about the resi- people were and what they were about?” dence occupied by Peter at Deptford. Its Being answered, “They are lawyers, sir." identity has been further established by wit. "Lawyers!” returned he with great signs of nesses before a court of justice. When the astonishment, "why, I have but two in my owner, John Evelyn, re-took possession of whole dominion and I design to hang one of his dwelling, which he had given up tem- them the moment I get home.”-Fog's Jour- porarily for the use of the Russian sovereign, nal, May 21, 1737. he found it in a condition which would have The czar, Peter the Great, emperor of suggested the idea that Baty-Han himself Russia, had at this time already begun his had been there. Doors and windows had voyage; he was in Holland, learning ship- been torn out and burned, hangings dragged building. Although incognito, he wished to down and soiled, valuable pictures utterly be recognized, but after his own fashion, and ruined and their frames smashed to pieces. was annoyed that, being so near to Eng- Evelyn claimed and received reimbursement land, no embassy was sent to him from that of his loss from the public treasury.-WALIS country, which he wished to ally himself ZEWSKI, citing Schoubinski. with for commercial reasons. At last an In the commencement of the year 1698 ambassy arrived; he delayed for some time Buelow underlet the house together with all to give it an audience, but in the end fixed the day and hour when he would see it. its furniture to the czar, but he soon had to regret the accommodation he had afforded The reception, however, was to take place on board a large Dutch vessel that he was to his majesty, for in the month of May of going to examine. There were two ambas- that year we find him petitioning the Lords sadors; they thought the meeting place of the Treasury that compensation be made rather an odd one, but were obliged to go to him for the damage the czar had done to there. When they arrived on board the czar his house, garden and furniture. . . . On the sent word that he was in the “top” and 6th of May this petition was sent to Sir that it was there he would see them. The Christopher Wren, who . . . estimated the ambassadors, whose feet were unaccustomed total damages at three hundred and fifty to rope ladders, tried to excuse themselves pounds, nine shillings and sixpence. .... from mounting; but it was all in vain. The By treasury warrant, dated June 21, 1698, czar would receive them in the “top” or not the money was ordered paid.-HART, Notes at all. At last they were compelled to and Queries, May 10, 1856. ascend and the meeting took place in the nar- Potor I. Potor II. 528 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES abso row place high up in the air. The czar re of science. Wit he possessed, but it was ceived them there with as much majesty as steeped in the snows of his Russia. Bitter, though he had been upon the throne, lis sparing of speech, he only spoke to question, tended to their harangue, replied very gra and without too much sacrilege against the ciously, and then laughed at the fear painted French tongue. upon their faces, and good-humoredly gave The Sorbonnists, foxy brothers if there them to understand that he had punished are any, imagined they would make use of them for arriving so late.--SAINT-SIMON. the czar's visit in the interest of the Jesuits and the pope; they drew up a memorial im- In France ploring him to reunite the Greek church with What he ate and drank at his two regu- | the Roman. Peter took the petition humbly lar meals is inconceivable, without reckon- presented to him by the doctors; nor did he ing the beer, lemonade and other drinks he lose his countenance when he handed it to his swallowed between these repasts, his suite fool, contenting himself with saying to him following his example; a bottle or two of in Russian: “Sotof, this is your affair.”— beer, as many more of wine, and, occasionally, DUBOIS. liquors afterwards; at the end of the meal strong drinks, such as brandy, as much some- PETER III., 1728-1762. Czar of Russia. times as a quart. This was about the usual For Latin, in particular, he conceived such quantity at each meal. His suite at his an enduring hatred that years afterwards table drank more and ate in proportion, at when, as emperor of Russia, he set about eleven o'clock in the morning and at eight | collecting a really fine library, he absolutely at night. There was a chaplain, who ate refused to allow a single Latin book a place at the table of the czar, who consumed half on his shelves.—R. NISBET BAIN, “Peter III.” as much again as the rest, and with whom Madame Krause procured for the grand the monarch, who was fond of him, much duke playthings-puppets and such like child- amused himself. ish toys, of which he was passionately fond. The czar entered the city in one of During the day they were concealed in or Tesse's coaches, with three of his suite with under my bed; the grand duke retired im- him, but not Tesse himself. The maréchal mediately after supper and, as soon as we followed in another coach. The czar alighted were in bed, Madame Krause locked the at nine o'clock in the evening at the Louvre door and then the grand duke played with and walked all through the apartments of his puppets till one or two o'clock in the the queen mother. He considered them to morning. Willing or unwilling, I was obliged be too magnificently hung and lighted, to share in this interesting amusement and jumped into his coach again and went to so was Madame Krause. I often laughed, but the Hôtel de Leydiguières, where he wished more frequently felt annoyed or even incon- to lodge. He thought the apartment destined venienced; the whole bed was covered and for him too fine also and had his camp bed filled with playthings, some of which were immediately spread out in a wardrobe. rather heavy. SAINT-SIMON. The principal plaything of the grand The czar Peter had a countenance as duke, while in town, consisted of an immense rigid and icy as the climate of his king. number of little dolls, representing soldiers, dom; he had a colossal frame, admirably pro- formed of wood, lead, pith and wax. These portioned, in spite of its leanness; his face he arranged on very narrow tables, which was terrible, with its savage gaze, his pierc- took up an entire room, leaving scarcely space ing eyes, thick lips, his oiled black locks and enough to pass between them. Along these tawny skin. Excessive indulgence in strong tables he had nailed narrow bands of brass, liquors had given him a nervous affection, to which strings were attached, and when which was perpetually contorting his physiog- he pulled these strings the brass bands made nomy. His movements were abrupt, his car- a noise, which, according to him, resembled riage haughty, and it was all of a piece. His the roll of musketry. voice had ever the tone of anger and the To procure for himself more amusement majesty he affected took a savage and un- during the winter, the duke had five or sis couth character. I know no man more anx hounds brought from the country and placed ious to learn, or endowed with greater intel them behind a wooden partition which sep- ligence. It was sufficient for him to see to arated the alcove of my bedroom from a large understand and I have known him to correct vestibule behind our apartments. As the explanations given him by artists and men , alcove was separated only by boards, the 529 Peter I. Peter DI. OF THE GREAT odor of the kennel penetrated into it and in of war, was deserving of capital punishment: the midst of this disgusting smell we both it had climbed over the ramparts of a fort- slept. When I complained to him of the in. ress of cardboard which he had on the table convenience, he told me it was impossible in the cabinet, and had eaten two sentinels, to help it. The kennel being a great secret, made of pith, who were on duty at the bas- I put up with this nuisance, rather than be tions. He had had the criminal tried by tray his imperial highness. martial law, his setter having caught him, On Wednesday evening I was to take a and he was immediately hanged, as I saw, bath at the house of Madame Tchoglokoff, and was to remain there exposed to the public but on Tuesday evening she came to my room gaze for three days, as an example.-CATHER- and told the grand duke, who was with me, INE II., “Memoirs." that it was her majesty's pleasure that he Marshal Razoumoffsky was called on one also should take a bath. Now the baths, day to maneuver his regiment before the em- and all other Russian customs and habits, peror in pursuance of a general order which were not simply disagreeable to the duke; || required every commander to make a similar he had a mortal hatred of them. He there. exhibition of his skill. After the review, fore unceremoniously declared that he would during which the marshal, though not much do nothing of the kind. She, who was equally of a military character, had acquitted him- obstinate, and had no kind of reserve or cere self to his majesty's satisfaction, as the mony in her speech, told him that it was emperor was retiring with his suite to din- an act of disobedience to her imperial ner, in the highest good humor possible, he majesty. He maintained that he ought not happened to see his favorite negro (Narcis- to be required to do what was repugnant to sus, I believe, he was named) at a distance his nature; that he knew that the bath, in furiously engaged with some person and which he had never been, was unsuitable to fighting with hands and feet. The emperor his constitution; that he did not want to was at first very much entertained, but when die; that life was the thing he held most he perceived the negro's antagonist to be the dear, and that her majesty would never com scavenger of his regiment, his countenance pel him to go into a bath. Madame Tchog. suddenly changed and he exclaimed with an lokoff replied that her majesty would know expression of consternation: “Narcissus is how to punish his disobedience. At this he lost to me forever!” What he could mean became very angry and exclaimed passion was quite unintelligible until Razoumoffsky ately: "I should like to see what she can inquired the cause of his distress. “What!" do; I am not a child.” Madame Tchoglokoff said the emperor, “don't you feel, as a mili- threatened that the empress would send him tary man, how impossible it is that I should to the fortress. At this he cried bitterly; ever have him in my company again, after and they went on answering each other in such a stain and disgrace as having come into the most outrageous terms that passion could contact with a scavenger?” The marshal af. dictate; in fact, they both acted as if they fecting to enter into the emperor's feelings, did not have a grain of common sense be with a face of as much solemnity as he could tween them. At last Madame Tchoglokoff assume, proposed that the honor of Narcis- departed, saying that she would report the sus should be retrieved by covering him with conversation to her imperial majesty word the banners of the regiment. This idea, which for word. I know not what she did in the was like the resurrection of a favorite, was matter, but she returned presently with an not without delight to the emperor, who, after entirely different theme, for she came to in embracing Razoumoffsky, summoned Narcis- form us that her imperial majesty was an sus before him. “Dost thou not know," said gry because we had no children, and wished he to the negro, “that thou art covered with to know which of us was in fault; that she infamy and forever lost to our society by the would therefore send a midwife to me and a foul disgrace of that scavenger's touch ?” physician to the grand duke. The poor fellow, still foaming with rage, and One day when I went into the apart- not comprehending a word of this language, ments of his imperial highness, I beheld a began to defend his conduct, protesting that great rat, which he had hanged-with all the as a brave man he thought it right to pun- paraphernalia of an execution in the mid ish the rascal who had attacked him first. dle of the cabinet. formed by means of a But when by the emperor's order they pro- partition. I asked him what all this meant. ceeded to pass him three times under the ban- He told me that this rat had committed ners of the regiment, Narcissus resisted the a crime; one which, according to the laws operation 80 stoutly that four men were Peterborough, Lora Pinkney, Willam 530 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES obliged to hold him before they could accom "Indeed, sir,” answered the woman, “I am plish this work of purification. This, how not, nor would I now take any sum for it, ever, was not enough, for the emperor, insist. for, would you believe it, from the time our ing that some drops of blood from the negro's good king was forced to go abroad and leave body were still required to wash away the us, the dear creature has not sung a note?". stain on his honor, was not satisfied until the JOHN HAWKINS, “History of Music." point of a banner was for that purpose ap- PHILIP III., 1578-1621. King of Spain. plied to his head. The poor negro's shrieks Philip III. when seated by the fireside was and outcries against his master and the ex- treme absurdity of the whole scene put all once nearly suffocated with heat from the the officers to the torture in suppressing their large quantity of wood that the fire-maker had kindled; but "his grandeur would not provocation to outright laughter, rendered al- most irresistible by the extraordinary solem- suffer him to rise from the chair, and the domestics could not presume to enter the nity of the emperor, who seemed to contem- plate the work in hand as no less indispen- apartment, because it was against etiquette. sable to the redemption of his favorite than At length the Marquis of Potat appeared, the luster of his own imperial glory.-- and the king ordered him to damp the fire; PRINCESS DASHKOW, "Memoirs.” but he excused himself, alleging that he was forbidden by etiquette to perform such a func- Von Brummer, the prince's governor, was tion, for which the Duke d’Ussada ought to a rough, choleric, quarrelsome martinet, who be called on, as it was his business. The treated his sovereign like a dog, brutally duke was gone out, the fire burned fiercer misusing him on the slightest provocation. and the king actually endured it rather than His favorite method of punishment was to derogate from his dignity." But, it is said, make the child kneel for hours on hard peas, his blood was heated to such a degree, that an till his little legs were red and swollen. As erysipelas of the head appeared the next day, the prince grew older, Von Brummer used to which, succeeded by violent fever, carried him chastise him frequently with a horsewhip, off in the twenty-fourth year of his reign. occasionally alternating the discipline by placing him in a doorway with a fool's cap The palace was once on fire; a soldier, on his head, for the amusement of his own who knew that the king's sister was in her gentlemen-in-waiting as they sat at dinner.- apartment and must inevitably in a few minutes be consumed by flames, rushed in at BAIN. the risk of his life and brought her out. PETERBOROUGH, Charles Mordaunt, Earl But Spanish etiquette was wofully broken, of Peterborough, 1658-1735. English and the loyal soldier was brought to trial statesman and soldier. and condemned to death. The Spanish Lord Peterborough, when a young man and princess, however, in consideration of the cir- about the time of the revolution, had a pas. cumstances, condescended to pardon the sol- sion for a lady who was fond of birds; she dier and saved his life.-T. F. THISELTON- had seen and heard a fine canary bird at a DYER, “Royalty in All Ages," quoting Dis- coffee house near Charing Cross, and en raeli. treated him to get it for her; the owner PHILIP IV., 1605-1665. King of Spain. was a widow and Lord Peterborough offered to buy it at a great price, which she re- In 1651 a daughter was born to Philip and fused; finding there was no other way of Mariana and christened with the usual ex- coming at the bird he determined to change travagant pomp. Flores relates that at this it; and, getting one of the same color, with sumptuous christening the little infanta Ma- nearly the same marks, but which happened ria Teresa was godmother and in drawing off to be a hen, went to the house; the mistress her glove she dropped a very precious brace- of it usually sat in a room behind the bar, let of brilliants. A lady in the crowd picked to which he had easy access; contriving to | it up and offered it to the infanta, who even send her out of the way, he effected his pur. thus early had learned the haughty tradi- pose and upon her return took his leave. He tions of her house, to take nothing from the continued to frequent the house in order to hands of any one but certain officials, made avert suspicion, but forbore to say anything a sign that the lady was to keep the brace- about the bird until about two years after; let.-MARTIN HUME, "Court of Philip IV.” when, taking occasion to speak of it, he said In future it was ordered that no fictitious to the woman: “I would have bought that plots should be represented but only scenes bird of you but you refused my money for it. from the Scriptures and from history. No I dare say you are by this time sorry for it." | actors, made or female, were to dress in gold 531 Pinkney, william OF THE GREAT , Lord Peterboroughcloth; and no unmarried woman or widow nine hundred and ninety-nine cases, if clients was to appear on any stage, only married will continue to trust me, and, if I fail just women, whilst gentlemen were not permitted as I have to-day, I will try the thousandth. to visit an actress more than twice. New I shall live to argue cases in this court house plays were not allowed to be produced more in a manner that will mortify neither myself than once a week and plays in private houses nor my friends."-NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE, were forbidden, whilst managers were for "Life of Franklin Pierce.” bidden to receive in their companies any PINKNEY, William, 1764-1822. American actors but those known to be decent and well- statesman. behaved.-HUME, quoting Valladeres News. letter, March, 1644. One anecdote he used to relate of himself, as a ruse, which might be pardoned in youth. The most severe orders were given There was a debating club at Annapolis, of against the wearing of ruffs and the using which Pinkney was a member. A question of starch for any purpose. Pillory, confisca. had been assigned for discussion on a certain tion and exile were to be the fate of any evening, when all the polite company of the person who wore pleated or goffered linen in town was expected to attend; and our young any shape, and the broad, flat Walloon col. orator repaired to a secluded spot in the lar, which fell upon the shoulders, was alone vicinity, to prepare himself in solitude for the to be allowed. Alguaciles were provided with coming contest. His antagonist in the debate, shears and at a given signal raided the fash who was ever his chief competitor in the ionable promenades, cutting the fine lace ruffs club, was there, however, before him; and which the fops still insisted on wearing, seiz. our aspirant took the benefit of some friendly ing and burning the stocks of them in the screen to overhear his preparatory declama- shops, lopping hat brims to the requisite nar tion unobserved. “The result," said he, "was rowness, confiscating jewels and even snip brilliant. In the evening my antagonist's ping off the love-locks before the ears which speech, which was well enough seasoned with were the mark of the exquisite. The ladies, rhetoric, was received with acclamation. But too, were no better treated, and many a when I came to make my 'extemporaneous' re- brazen-faced madam was hauled out of her ply, which I had very earnestly prepared dur- trundling coach and put to shame, or had ing the day, I was at home, as you may guess, portions of her forbidden finery profaned by on every point. The night was mine and the coarse hands of catchpoles.-HUME. therefore I was king of the club." PIERCE, Franklin, 1804-1869. President of During his first residence in England the United States. some question of classical literature was dis- President Pierce was so fond of his wife cussed at table in a social party where he was that at thirty-six years of age he resigned present, and the guests, in turn, gave their his seat in the United States Senate because opinion on it. Mr. Pinkney being silent for Washington City did not agree with her some time, an appeal was made to him for health and, four years later, he declined the his opinion, when he had the mortification of attorney-generalship in the cabinet of Presi. | being compelled to acknowledge that he was dent Polk for the same reason.-FRANK G. unacquainted with the subject. In conse- CARPENTER, Lippincott's Magazine, July, quence of this incident he was induced to 1886. resume his classical studies and actually put He stuck his hands into his pockets as himself under the care of an instructor for he passed up and down. Mrs. Pierce cast an the purpose of reviewing and extending his appealing look at the recusant hands, to acquaintance with ancient literature.-HENRY which the president answered: “No; I won't WHEATON, "Sparks's Biographies.” take them out of my pockets, Jennie; I am He used to bathe every day and after in the country and I like to feel the com bathing throw a thin gauze over himself fort of it.”-MRS. VARINA DAVIS, “Jefferson and had two body servants throw fine salt Davis." at him. He had heard, he said, that salt His first case was a failure and perhaps a would preserve the skin. somewhat marked one. ... To a friend, an When I was in Russia I and another at- older practitioner, who addressed him with | taché were sitting in his parlor, waiting for some expressions of condolence and encourage him to come to dinner. He came in after a ment, Pierce replied-and it was a kind of long while, black and dirty as any man. self-assertion which no triumph would have Without saying a word, he walked up to drawn out—"I do not need that. I will try | the sofa, jerked off his hat, threw it and Pitt 532 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES his sword down. At last Mrs. Pinkney re took place between him and his youthful an- turned and asked, “What is the matter?” tagonist, Mr. Pitt, and for some time was "Matter? I have been insulted, madam; / conducted with great talent and brilliancy that's what's the matter.” At this, our nar on both sides. At length the genius of the rator says, my sword and that of my friend young man prevailed over that of his senior, leaped from their scabbards to avenge the who, finding himself driven into a corner insult. I ventured to ask "Ilow?” Turning from which there was no escape, made some to me he said, “Sir, is not a man of my name, excuse for rising from the table and walked my position, my country, insulted when he out of the room. I followed him and, finding is to get up at eight o'clock to pay homage that he was looking for his hat, I tried to to a little girl?" (A Russian princess.) I persuade him to return to his seat. "By no ventured to suggest that we were invited at means," said he, “that young gentleman, I eleven. “Can a gentleman dress in less than have no doubt, is extremely ingenious and three hours ?”—PROFESSOR PARSONS, of Har. agreeable, but I must acknowledge that his vard Law School, Albany Law Journal, Au style of conversation is not exactly what I gust 20, 1870. am accustomed to, so you must positively PITT, William, 1759-1806. English states- excuse me.” And away he went in high dudgeon, notwithstanding that his friends had man. come to his assistance. When we returned He had inherited from his father that con- to the dining room we found Mr. Pitt pro- fidence which made Chatham once say, “I ceeding very tranquilly with the illustration am sure that I can save this country and of the subject from which his opponent had that nobody else can,” which made himself fled, and which he discussed with such ability, say later, “I place much dependence on my strength of argument and eloquence that his new colleagues; I place still more depend- | hearers were filled with profound admira. ence on myself.”—LORD ROSEBERY, “Pitt.” tion. - JAMES BLAND BURGES, "Letters and Mr. Pitt was remarkable for never Correspondence.” answering a letter and generally for writing On the night of his (Erskine's] first as seldom and little as possible.-GEORGIANA, Lady Dowager de Ros, Murray's Magazine, speech, Pitt, evidently intending to reply, sat January, 1889. with pen and paper in his hand, prepared to catch the argument of his formidable ad- Mr. Gibbon took the conversation in his versary. He wrote a word or two; Erskine own hands and very brilliant and pleasant proceeded; but with every additional gen- he was during dinner and for some time tence Pitt's attention to the paper relaxed; afterwards. Ile had just concluded, how- his look became more careless and he ob- ever, one of his best foreign anecdotes, in viously began to think the orator less and which he had introduced some of the fash- less worthy of his attention. At length, when ionable levities of political doctrine then every eye in the House was fixed upon him, prevalent, and, with the customary tap on he, with a contemptuous smile, dashed the the lid of his snuff-box, was looking around pen through the paper and flung them on the to receive our tribute of applause, when a floor. Erskine never recovered from this deep-toned but clear voice was heard from expression of disdain; his voice faltered, he the bottom of the table, very calmly and struggled through the remainder of his civilly impugning the correctness of the nar- speech and sank into his seat dispirited and rative and the propriety of the doctrines of shorn of his fame.-GEORGE CROLY, “Life of which it had been made the vehicle. The George IV.” historian, turning a disdainful glance toward the quarter whence the voice proceeded, saw In the same month I met Mr. Pitt at for the first time a tall, thin and rather the lord mayor's dinner; he did not seem ungainly looking young man, who now sat | ill. On that occasion I remember he returned quietly and silently eating some fruit. There thanks in one of the best and neatest speeches was nothing very prepossessing or formidable I ever heard in my life. It was in a very in his exterior, but, as the few words he had few words. The lord mayor had proposed his uttered appeared to have made a consider health as one who had been the savior of able impression upon the company, Mr. Gib. England and would be the savior of the rest bon, I suppose, found himself bound to main of Europe. Mr. Pitt then got up, disclaimed tain his honor, by suppressing such an at the compliment as applied to himself, and add. tempt to dispute his supremacy. He ac | ed, “England has saved herself by her exer- cordingly undertook the defense of the propo- tions and the rest of Europe will be saved sition in question and a very animated debate | by her example.” That was all; he was 533 Pit OF THE GREAT scarcely up two minutes; yet nothing could face with burnt cork, which he most strenu- be more perfect. I remember another curious ously resisted; but at the beginning of the thing at that dinner. Erskine was there. fray a servant announced that Lords Castle- Now, Mr. Pitt had always over Erskine a reagh and Liverpool desired to see him on great ascendency—the ascendency of terror. business. "Let them wait in the other room," Sometimes, in the House of Commons he was the answer; and the great minister in- could keep Erskine in check by merely put stantly returned to the battle, catching up a ting out his hand or making a note. At this cushion and belaboring us with it in glorious dinner, Erskine's health having been drunk fun. We were, however, too many and too and Erskine rising to return thanks, Pitt strong for him, and after at least ten min- held up his finger and said to him across the utes' fight we got him down and were actu- table, "Erskine, remember that they are ally daubing his face, when, with a look of drinking your health as a distinguished colo pretended confidence in his powers, he said, nel of volunteers.” Erskine, who had in “Stop! This will do. I could beat you all, tended, as we heard, to go off upon the rights but we must not keep these grandees wait- of juries, the state trials and other political ing any longer.” His defeat was, however, points, was quite put out; he was awed palpable, and we were obliged to get a towel like a schoolboy at school and in his speech and basin of water to wash him clean be- kept very strictly within the limits enjoined fore he could receive the grandees. Being him.-LORD STANHOPE, “Life of the Right thus put in order, the basin was hid behind Honorable William Pitt," quoting the Duke the sofa and the two lords were ushered in. of Wellington. Then a new phase of Mr. Pitt's manner ap- People thought Mr. Pitt did not care peared, to my great surprise and admiration. Lord Liverpool's look and manner are well about women and knew nothing about them, but they were very much mistaken. Mrs. known-melancholy, bending, nervous. Lord Castlereagh I had known from my childhood, B- , of Devonshire, when she was Miss W— was so pretty that Mr. Pitt drank had often been engaged with him in athletic out of her shoe. Nobody understood shape sports, pitching the stone or bar, and looked upon him as—what indeed he was—a model and beauty and dress better than he did; with a glance of his eye he saw it all at once. of quiet grace and strength combined. What was my surprise to see both him and Lord But the world was ignorant of much respect- Liverpool bending like spaniels on approach- ing him. Who ever thought that there was ing the man we had just been maltreating not a better judge of women in London than with such successful insolence of fun. But he? And not only of women as they present instantly Mr. Pitt's change of manner and themselves to the eye, but that his knowledge was so critical that he could analyze their look entirely fixed my attention. His tall, ungainly, bony figure seemed to grow to features and persons in the most masterful the ceiling; his head was thrown back, his way. Not a defect, not a blemish, escaped him; he would detect a shoulder too high, eyes fixed immovably in one position, as if reading the heavens, and totally regardless a limp in the gait, where nobody else would have seen it; and his beauties were real, of the bending figures near him. For some natural beauties. In dress, too, his taste was time they spoke; he made now and then some short observation and finally, with an equally refined. I shall never forget, when abrupt, stiff inclination of the body, but I had arranged the folds and drapery of a beautiful dress which I wore one evening, without casting his eyes down, dismissed them; then, turning to us with a laugh, how he said to me: “Really, Hester, you caught up his cushion and renewed our fight. are bent on conquest to-night, but would it Another phase of his countenance I had yet be too bold in me if I were to suggest that to learn. Some time after my visit, which that particular fold-and he pointed to a was twice renewed at Putney, I was walking triangular fall which I had given to one part across the parade of the Horse Guards, when -were looped up so?” And, would you be- I saw Mr. Pitt talking to several gentle- lieve it, it was exactly what was wanting to men, evidently upon business which inter- complete the classical form of my dress? He ested him. I caught his eye while some forty was so in everything.-LADY HESTEB STAN. yards from him; he gave a smile and a nod HOPE, “Memoirs." of recognition and I was advancing to greet He liked practical fun and used to riot | him. Instantly his countenance changed with with Lady Hester, Charles and James Stan- | a commanding fierceness of expression diffi. hope and myself; and one instance is worth cult to describe, but it emphatically spoke noticing: We were resolved to blacken his | even at that distance. "Pass on, this is no Pitt 534 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES place for fooling," was the meaning and GABRIELLE FESTING, "Hookham Frere and his not to be mistaken.-H. A. BRUCE, editor of Friends," quoting Frere. “Life of Sir William Napier." A by-election was impending in York. Dignum himself told me the story, that shire and Pitt, paying a social visit to the Mr. Pitt, curious to hear the popular vocalist, | famous Mrs. B- , one of the Whig queens invited him to dinner and, when the cloth of the West Riding, said, banteringly, "Well, was removed, thus spoke: “Mr. Dignum, I the election is all right for us. Ten thousand have asked you here that I might have the guineas for the use of our side go down to pleasure of hearing you sing, but, as among Yorkshire by a sure hand.” “The devil they gentlemen it would be improper to call upon | do,” responded Mrs. B- , and that night the any one to do what you would not do your bearer of the precious burden was stopped self, I will set you the example”; and he by a highwayman on the Great North road chanted, “Billy Pitt, the Tory,” as Mr. Dig. and the ten thousand guineas were used to num protested in fine style.-The Gentleman's procure the return of the Whig candidate.- Magazine, May, 1860. GEORGE W. E. RUSSELL, "Recollections." During the first French revolution, short Mr. Pitt did not find two bottles of port ly after Marie Antoinette's execution, an wine too large a quantity to take with his emigré called on Pitt in Downing street. The dinner.-H. TAINE, “Notes on England.” talk was naturally on the horrors witnessed Lord Sidmouth observed that Pitt liked recently in Paris. The visitor, overcome by a glass of port wine very well and a bottle his thoughts and melted into tears, sobbed still better; but that he never knew him to out: "Ah, Monsieur Pitt, la pauvre reine, la take too much if he had anything to do, ex- pauvre reine." The Frenchman was still cept upon one occasion, when he was unex- weeping when a new idea seemed to possess pectedly called upon to answer a personal him "Nevertheless, Mr. Pitt, you must see attack made upon him by the father of the my ttle dog dance; Fanchon," he called out, late Lord Durham. He had left the House "dansez! dansez!” The man himself set the with Mr. Dundas in the hour between two example and further encouraged the animal election ballots, for the purpose of dining; with a little fiddle. The hilarity involved so and when on his return he replied to Mr. much noise that a treasury messenger, half Lambton, it was evident to his friends that suspecting that the stranger had assaulted he had taken too much wine. The next the statesman, rushed into the room. What morning Mr. Lay, the clerk assistant to the he saw was the minister struggling in con- House of Commons, told the speaker that he vulsions of merriment.-T. H. S. Escott, had felt quite ill ever since Mr. Pitt's exhibi- “Society in the Country House.” tion of the preceding evening. “It gave me,” Lord Holland said that, when Pitt fought he added, "a violent headache.” On this be- Tierney, Lord Harrowby said, "Pitt, take ing repeated to Mr. Pitt, he said he thought care of your pistol; it is a hair trigger." | it was an excellent arrangement that he Pitt held it up and said, "I do not see the should have the wine and the clerk the head- hair.” Such was his learning as to small ache.-GEORGE PELLEW, "Life and Corre- arms.—LORD BROUGHTON, “Recollections." spondence of Viscount Sidmouth." I was to be best man (at the wedding of In the morning, while awaiting break- George Canning and Joan Scott] and Mr. fast, Wilberforce took Ryder, afterwards Lord Leigh (Canning's cousin, who was to read Harrowby, round the garden. The early. the service) dined with me. We had a coach rising Pitt had been before them. In a to church and as we went down a narrow flower bed they detected something which was street a fellow drew up against the wall to not a flower. “It proved,” said Wilberforce, avoid being run over and, peering into the "to be a portion of Ryder's very old opera coach, recognized Mr. Pitt and saw Mr. hat which Pitt had planted in the soil near Leigh, who was in full canonicals, sitting the geraniums.”—Escort. opposite to him. The fellow exclaimed, Pitt was induced by Sir John Sinclair to “What! Billy Pitt, and with a parson too!” constitute a board of agriculture towards the Frere, ever ready with his joke, said to Pitt, end of the eighteenth century and make him "He thinks you are going to Tyburn to be the president. Having enjoyed his office for hanged privately," but the Olympian was a few years Sinclair began to desire promo- too absorbed either to be angry or to answer. tion in the social scale. “Dear Mr. Pitt," he So nervous was Pitt during the ceremony that wrote to the prime minister, “don't you think he forgot to sign among the witnesses.- | the president of the board of agriculture Plus IX. Plankot, Lord 536 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES The life and force of Lord Beaconsfield's nar. ous layette had been ordered in Paris, his ration are of course lost in my relation; | holiness thought it his duty to provide one; but the story is his and he laid comic stress but when the question of the articles it ought on the cockney word "weal.”—ALFRED GATTY, to include and their cost was mooted at the D.D., Notes and Queries, July 9, 1887. Vatican, neither the pope nor any of the PIUS IX., Giovanni Maria Mastai-Ferretti, cardinals who were called into council was able to give an opinion. Had they been mar- 1792-1878. Pope. ried men they would soon have been extri- The future Cardinal Mastai, afterwards cated from their difficulty by their wives, but Pope Pius IX., was as yet only bishop of they had none, and when it was suggested Imola, but he was already known for the in- that a certain monsignore should make in- novating tendency of his ideas. Gregory XVI. quiries at a Roman baby-linen house, the poor had noticed him with his indulgent smile, man nearly succumbed to an attack of apo- "In Mastai's house even the cat is liberal.”- plexy in his alarm as to what might be COUNT DE FALLOUX, “Memoirs." thought of him if he were to carry the sug. After a long conversation with Cardinal | gestion into effect. Eventually one of their Gizzi one evening, upon the subject of the eminences remembered that he had a mar- reforms he contemplated, he asked for some ried sister, whose services were duly re- lemonade. His valet retired to give the quisitioned.-E. A. VIZETELLY (Le Petit necessary orders and in the course of a few Homme Rouge), “Court Life Under the Sec- minutes the servants entered bearing two ond Empire.” splendid gilt trays, laden with refreshments | PLAYFAIR, Baron Lyon, 1818-1898. Eng. of every description and prepared as if by lish scientist and Member of Parliament. enchantment. “I asked only for some lemon- I do not like to part with my recollections ade," said the sovereign pontiff. "It is true, of Chicago without referring in grateful terms most holy father," they replied, “but we have only conformed to the prescribed ceremonial to the hospitality I received there. ... An and according to custom have to offer your absurd mistake of nationality caused much amusement at the time. My traveling com- highness these various refreshments.” “Very panion, Colonel Holmes, M. P. for Paisley, well,” replied the pope; "be good enough to was surprised that we never saw a typical bring me a lemon." It was brought imme- American-typical in the sense of the John diately. “Now give me the sugar and a glass Bull caricatures and of the Brother Jonathan of water." Then, having made the lemonade, in American illustrated papers. At Chicago, he added, “Take away these dishes; distribute however, my Scotch friend found his typical the refreshments they contain to the first American outside the hotel. He was tall, poor persons you find upon the Place de lank, lantern-jawed, had a straw hat, and Monte Cavallo; give each of them ten baiocci and for the future never offer me anything a semicircle of tobacco-juice around him. I was immediately fetched to inspect this true beyond that for which I ask.” type. We asked him how many generations “Eminences,” he said to them; "God has his ancestors had been in America and in inspired me with a new reform, useful to the what Western state he had been born. The well-being of my people, which I shall reveal reply astonished the two Scotch M. P.'s. to you, persuaded that, judging its utility "Hoot, mon, I'm no American. I came from with me, you will be desirous to adopt it.” Paisley laist year.” After this experience The cardinals of the opposition to a man re we discontinued our researches for American jected the proposition as one of a dangerous types. tendency-twenty black balls were found in One of my days was spent in the great the urn. Pius IX., nothing disconcerted, with lunatic asylum near the city (Washington), majestic dignity took the white cap from off and I received a rebuke to my supposed his head and, placing it upon the urn, said, knowledge which has rendered me less con- “Now, gentlemen, they are all white; the fident ever since. I have always been in. reform is adopted.”—C. A. DE GODDES DE terested in lunacy and constantly visit asy. LIANCOURT and JAMES A. MANNING, "Pius lums, so that I believed that I could detect the Ninth." a lunatic by outward signs and especially by It had been arranged that Pope Pius IX. the expressional character of the hands of was to be godfather of the expected babe [child a patient. Left alone for some time in the of Napoleon III. and the Empress Eugénie). female ward, as the physician was called An amusing story was circulated respecting away, I noticed a young lady sitting at a that sponsorship. Although a very sumptu- | window, working at needle-work, both her 537 Plus 12. Plunket, Lord OF THE GREAT face and hands being in full expression with dined at the lodge. The viceroy renewed the her work, so I presumed she was an attendant attack on my malaprop adjective. “One of and not a lunatic. She pushed aside her his aides-de-camp,” said he, "has written a work and came quietly to me, remarking, personal narrative of his travels; pray, Chief “You, sir, are an English gentleman; will Justice, what is your definition of 'person- you represent my case to the English minis al'?" "My lord,” replied Plunket, “we ter? For I am not insane and am kept here lawyers always consider personal as opposed from interested motives by my relatives.” I to real.”—The Quarterly Review, April, 1876. assured her that I would cause an inquiry The father of the lord chancellor--after- to be made, if she were an English subject. wards Lord Plunket—was a very simple- She replied, "I am an American lady." I then explained that it was impossible for me, minded man. Kindly and unsuspicious, he was often imposed upon, and the chancellor under these circumstances, to interest the English minister, but I promised not to leave used to tell endless stories of his parent's guileless nature. One morning Mr. Plunket, Washington without mentioning her case to taking an early walk, was overtaken by two Secretary Schurz. The lady courtesied in a dignified way and declined my interference. respectable-looking men, carpenters appar- A few minutes afterwards she again ap- ently by trade, each carrying the implements of his work. “Good morning, my friends," proached me and said, "I have been studying said the old gentleman; "you are early afoot. your face and there is kindness in it; will you sit beside me till I state how badly I have Going on a job, eh?” “Good morrow, kindly been used ? To make my case clear to you I sir; yes, we are; and a quare job too. The quarest and most out-of-the-way you ever must first explain that all the telegraph wires heard of, I'll be bound, though you've lived in the United States center in my body and I long in the world and heard and read of many am subject to perpetual electric shocks." I a thing. Oh, you'll never guess it, your had become so thoroughly convinced of her honor, so I may as well tell at once. We're sanity that I had no reply ready, so I merely said, “Why, you are an electrical phenome- going to cut the legs off a dead man.” “What!” cried his hearer aghast. “You don't non.” “Yes,” said the poor lady, “those two mean " "Yes, indeed; 'tis true for me; words exactly represent my condition." I left and here's how it come about. Poor Mary the asylum an humbler but a wiser man.- Neil's husband-a carpenter like ourselves LORD PLAYFAIR, “Autobiography.” and an old comrade-has been sick all the PLUNKET, William Conyngham, Baron, winter and departed life last Tuesday. What 1764-1854. Lord Chancellor of Ireland. with the grief and being left in the wide The treasurer of a party returning from a world with her five orphans, and no one to dinner at the Pigeon house on the Liffey earn a bit or sup for them, the craythur is found that he had got a bad shilling and said fairly out of her mind-stupid from the cry. he would throw it as far as possible into ing and the fret; for what does she do, poor woman, but send the wrong measure for the the water and put it beyond the possibility of circulation. “Stop,” cried Plunket, "give coffin; and when it came home it was ever it to Toler”—Lord Norbury was remarkable so much too short. Barney Neil was a tall for his penuriousness—"he can make a shill- man; nigh six feet, we reckoned him. He ing go farther than any one.” couldn't be got into it, do what they would; and the poor craythur hadn't what would buy On Lord Essex saying that he had seen another. Where should she get it, after the a brother of Sir John Leech-whom he al. long sickness himself had, and with five chil. most mistook for Sir John himself-so much dren to feed and clothe? So, your honor, all did the manner run in the family--Plunket there's in it is to cut the legs off him. Me remarked, “I should as soon have thought of and my comrade here is going to do it for a wooden leg running in the family.”—The the desolate woman. We'll just take them Quarterly Review, January, 1871. off at the knee joints and lay them along. The travels were published early in | side him in the coffin. I think, sir, now I've January, 1827, under the following title: told you our job, you'll say it's the quarest “Personal Narrative of Travels in Babylonia, you ever heard of.” “Oh,” cried the old Assyria, Media and Scythia, in the year 1824, gentleman, “such a thing must not be done. by Captain the Honorable George F. Keppel, | It's impossible. How much will a new coffin F.S.A. In two volumes." ... That same cost?” The carpenter named the sum, which evening Lord Plunket, recently appointed was immediately produced and bestowed on Chief Justice of the Court of Common Pleas, I him with injunction to invest forthwith in Polk, General Putnam, Israel 538 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES the necessary purchase. The business, how. come down during the night. Wearied with ever, took quite an unexpected turn. Mr. his journey the preacher said that he would Plunket on his return home narrated his sleep until they came and turned in. His matutinal adventure to his family at break nap was short. A rough fellow, feeling along fast, the future chancellor, then a young in the dark, laid hands suddenly on the man, being at the table. Before the meal was bishop and sang out, “I say, stranger, this ended, the carpenters made their appearance is my bed and if you get it you must fight and with many apologies tendered back the for it.” This was not very alarming to the coin they had received. He who had been bishop, who had had a military education spokesman in the morning explained that on | and, now waking up to the sense of the situa- seeing the gentleman in advance of them in tion, replied, “Before you strike in the dark the road, he had for a lark made a bet with feel my arm here and my chest.” And the his companion that he could obtain the boatman did as he was told, growing more money; which, having won his wager, he and more nervous as he pursued his exam- now refunded. Genuine Irish this!-Cham ination, till he became satisfied that there was bers's Journal, March 30, 1878. a formidable foe on hand and excused him. self by saying, "I rather think, stranger, you POLK, Leonidas, 1806-1864. American can have this bed.”—Harper's Magazine, bishop and general. 1862. On one occasion, having been up the Red river, where an Episcopal clergyman was Well, sir, it was at the battle of Perry. seldom seen, he was called on to baptize a ville, late in the evening, in fact it was al- sturdy five-year-old youngster who defiantly most dark, when Liddell's brigade came into resisted the sacrament unless his black fidus action. Shortly after its arrival I observed Achates, Jim, should receive it at the same a body of men whom I believed to be Con- time. “Well," said the bishop, "bring in Jim federates, standing at an angle to this brigade and I will make a Christian of him too." and firing obliquely at the newly arrived Accordingly Jim, duly instructed by his mis. troops. I said, “Dear me, this is very sad tress, was brought into the parlor; the pair and must be stopped”; so I turned around, went through the ceremony with perfect pro- but could find none of my young men, who priety and were dismissed to their play. were absent on different messages; so I Meanwhile, the friends and neighbors who determined to ride myself and settle the mat- had called in to assist at the baptism and ter. Having cantered up to the colonel of pay their respects to the bishop sat in solemn the regiment that was firing, I asked him in state awaiting the announcement to dinner. angry tones what he meant by shooting his Smallpox had been lurking in the country. own friends, and I desired him to cease doing Every one was excited on the subject of 80 at once. He answered with surprise, “I vaccination and discussions as to whether don't think there can be any mistake about it; it had taken on this or that subject had been I am sure they are the enemy.” “Enemy," I the order of the day for more than a week. said, “why I have just left them myself. Suddenly the circle was astounded by the Cease firing, sir. What is your name?" "My reappearance of Jim, who exclaimed, almost name is Colonel - , of the Indiana; breathless with excitement, “Mistis, mistis, and, pray, sir, who are you?” Then for the you must have Marse Tom baptized over first time I saw, to my astonishment, that again. It never tuck that ar time. He's he was a Yankee and that I was in the rear out yander cussing the steers worse than ever of a regiment of Yankees. Well, sir, I saw and he says he ain't gwine to stop for no- there was no hope but to brazen it out; my body.” The ice melted at once and the stiff- dark blouse and the increasing obscurity be- ness of the circle vanished as the bishop friended me, so I approached quite close turned to the hostess and said, “A commen | to him and shook my fist in his face, saying, tary on the doctrine of baptismal regenera "I'll soon show you who I am, sir. Cease fir. tion, madam.”—W. M. POLK, “Leonidas ing, sir, at once.” I then turned my horse Polk.” and cantered slowly down the line, shouting While the present Major-General Polk in an authoritative manner to the Yankees in the Southern army was in his more ap- to cease firing; at the same time I ex- propriate calling as bishop of Louisiana, he perienced a disagreeable sensation, like screw. was traveling and had to put up for the ing up my back, and calculating how many night in a tavern near the river. The land bullets would be between my shoulders every lord told him that all the beds had been en- | moment. I was afraid to increase my pace gaged for a number of boatmen who would until I got to a small copse, when I put the 539 Polk, General OF THE GREAT Putnam, Israel spurs in and galloped back to my men. I masters and doctors of the universities. ... immediately went up to the nearest colonel During Edward's [I.'s] long sojourn in Wales and said to him: "Colonel, I have re two of his children were born. One of these, connoitered those fellows pretty closely—and Edward, soon became by his brother Alfonso's I find there is no mistake who they are; you | death his father's heir. His Welsh birth had may get up and go at them.”_COLONEL AR already endeared him to Edward's new sub- THUR JAMES FREMANTLE of the Coldstream jects, and he had a Welsh nurse and Welsh Guards, “Three Months in the Southern | attendants to keep up his interest in the land States," quoting General Polk. of his birth. The story that Edward pre- At the battle of Perryville when Gen- sented him on his birth to the Welsh as eral Cleburne saw the critical moment to ad- their future prince has no more authority vance arrive, turning his horse's head to- than the local tradition which points out wards the point of attack, he rose in his as his birthplace a room in Carnarvon Castle, stirrups and, shaking his clenched fist in which is manifestly of later date. At last, the direction of the enemy, he shouted with in 1301, Edward created Edward Prince of his stentorian voice, “Come on and give Wales, thus keeping the principality separate them - boys; give them - " This went from the crown, though retaining it in the straight to the hearts of the dare-devils he royal family, and using it, as in his father's led and in an instant his whole division was own time, as a means of training the heir following him on the double quick. Just then in the work of government.-T. F. TOUT, the bishop-general, Polk, rode up and, wish- “Edward I.” ing to encourage the men and yet not daring PUTNAM, Israel, 1718-1790. American to swear, he roared, “Go on, boys, and give general. them what Pat Cleburne says.”—Harper's There is a story of his climbing so far Magazine, 1871. into a tree one day when he was hunting On Sunday morning he rode with his birds' nests that the bough broke. A lower staff into the village of Harrodsburg, Ken- branch caught him as he fell and he hung tucky, from which the people had been by his clothes, head downwards, his hands frightened at the news of the approach of wildly beating the air for something to the troops. The church was empty, but the grasp and his feet vainly struggling for a door was open. Polk dismounted, laid aside resting place. His companions saw no way his sword and entered. One by one his staff to help him and continued to stand looking followed him and found him kneeling with up at him from the foot of the tree, but his head bowed on the chancel rail. They Israel shouted to one of them, who had a kneeled beside him and around him and in gun, to break the branch by sending a bullet broken sentences the man of God poured out into it. The boy hesitated from lack of his soul in prayers for peace and blessings to confidence in his own skill as a marksman, both friend and foe. Polk's military service but Israel persisted in taking the risk of be- was always a hard burden to him, grievous ing hit rather than to remain longer in his and heavy to be borne. He was always yearn. predicament. So the gun was fired with the ing for his diocese; always eager for relief. happy result of freeing him from his mid- Again and again he asked it and it was re- air position. Down he came and luckily fused.—“Perry's History of the American none of his bones were broken by the fall. Episcopal Church.” The next day, notwithstanding his bruises, PRINCE OF WALES. he ventured again into the tree and suc- In the thirteenth century a king's son did ceeded in getting the coveted nest.-W. F. not form a member of a special royal caste. LIVINGSTON, “Israel Putnam.” (This anec- He had no distinctive title and was brought dote is also told by William Cutter, "Life up very much like other young men of high of Israel Putnam” (1847), with a wealth of birth. The old English word “Aetheling” had detail, especially as to conversation.) ceased to be used as the appropriate designa. Having accordingly divested himself of tion of the son of a crowned and anointed his coat and waistcoat and having a long king. The vaguer modern term of "prince" rope fastened around his legs, by which he did not come into use for many centuries might be pulled back at a concerted signal, later. The eldest son of the English king | he entered head foremost with the blazing had no higher title than the vague appella- | torch in his hands. The aperture of the den, tion of “lord,” which he shared with a whole on the east side of a very high ledge of rocks, host of feudal chieftains, great and small, is about two feet square; from thence it with the bishops, abbots, judges and even the descends obliquely fifteen feet, then running Queensborry, Lord Randolph, John 542 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES came before the courts and was regularly chaplain, who ventured to attack Mr. Wilkes tried. His opponent was a Mr. Pigot, prob. for his irregularities; but, as might be ex- ably the son or nephew of the subject of the pected, drew on himself a very rough but wager, for these were the days when gentle natural retort: "Many of the darts shot men of ton were “really obliged to cut their at the black gown of the priest glanced own fathers.” Counsel for one side urged against the ermined robes of his noble that, if it were a case of two horses, the | patron."-All the Year Round, March, death of one of the animals before the event 1876. vitiated the transaction. But the court and jury decided for Lord March. It is said that he bathed daily in milk and that he adopted the practise so long in An old Lord Essex used to tell a story vogue in the Chinese empire—that of paying of his coming home betimes from a ball with his physicians so much a week for keeping the duke-both arrayed in their stars and him alive and in good health. His grace, decorations—and some of the rustics bursting however, did not always carry on this game into a sort of a horse laugh at the sight. The fairly, for he continually neglected their ad. duke said simply to his friend, at the same vice and played all sorts of tricks with his time tapping his stars, “What! Have they constitution, which he had enfeebled by a found out this humbug at last ?”. long course of dissipation; though it is A physician enjoyed an annuity of five probable that he would have lived on much hundred a year for the duke's life, with the longer than he did had he not persisted in understanding that nothing was to be ex- devouring a quantity of peaches and necta. pected after death-a truly artful arrange | rines, which killed him in a few hours in ment. his eighty-sixth year, in December, 1810.- The drollest thing in the world is that E. WALFORD, The Gentleman's Magazine, this proper nobleman should have kept a | August, 1890. R RALEIGH, Sir Walter, 1552-1618. English The well-known story that Raleigh first admiral and statesman. won the queen's favor by placing his cloak Even in that age of display no man perhaps over a muddy pool in her path is not trace- was so gorgeous in his attire as Raleigh. | able to any earlier writer than Fuller, who, Jewels, big pearls especially, were beloved in his “Worthies," first published in 1662, by him, and wonderful stories were current wrote: “Captain Raleigh, coming out of in the court as to the fabulous value of the Ireland to the English court in good habit adornments he wore, one writer asserting that (his clothes being then a considerable part of the gems upon his shoes alone were worth his estate), found the queen walking, till, sixty-six hundred gold pieces.—MARTIN meeting with a plashy place, she seemed to HUME, “Sir Walter Raleigh.” scruple going thereon. Presently Raleigh Before he went, having conference with cast and spread his new plush cloak on the some great lords, his friends, who told him ground; whereon the queen trod gently, re- that they doubted he would be prizing, if he warding him afterwards with many suits, could do it handsomely, “Yes," saith he, "if for his so free and seasonable tender of so I can light right on the plate fleet you would | fair a foot cloth. Thus an advantageous ad- think I were mad should I refuse it." To mission into the first notice of a prince is whom they answering, "Why, then you will more than half a degree of preferment.”— be a pirate.” “Tush,” quoth he, “my lord, SIDNEY LEE, “Great Englishmen of the Six. did you ever hear of any that was counted teenth Century." a pirate for taking millions ?"--I. A. TAYLOR, “Sir Walter Raleigh,” quoting “Domestic The trick of spreading the cloak was State Papers, James I.” always a favorite one amongst Spanish gal. As Elizabeth had fits of niggardliness, lants, and, of course, was well known in he occasionally provoked her by demands of France, although apparently it was never this kind, so that one day, in a pettish mood, acclimatized in England. It was just the she exclaimed, “Raleigh, when will you cease thing to confirm the vain queen in the good to be a beggar?" "When your majesty," he impression which Raleigh's eloquence and replied in his courtliest tone, “ceases to be a ability had already produced upon her, and, benefactor.”—J. A, St. John, “Life of Sir even on Fuller's authority, we may accept the Walter Raleigh." story for its verisimilitude. 543 John OF THE GREAT RandolphQueensberryLord , , The deserting colonists from Virginia gazing on the busy scene below. Before long [1586] arrived at Plymouth in Drake's fleet | he saw two young gallants approaching from at the end of July, and brought with them opposite quarters, one of whom, in passing into England, probably for the first time, the other, inadvertently or of malice pre- the habit of smoking tobacco, which Raleigh pense, jostled and bespattered him with mud. himself subsequently made fashionable at The injured person on the instant drew his court. ... Howell tells the story that Ra sword and, running the other through the leigh was descanting to the queen upon the body, without more delay he took himself to virtues of the new herb—the use of which his heels. A hue and cry was raised but had been strongly encouraged in France by Sir Walter's position necessarily prevented her rival queen, Catherine of Medici--when him from seeing the result. The turmoil in he assured her majesty that he had so well the street had scarcely subsided, when a experienced the nature of it, that he could | friend came to visit the imprisoned historian, tell her what weight even the smoke would be No sooner had salutations been exchanged in any quantity proposed to be consumed. than Raleigh eagerly inquired whether the "Her majesty, fixing her thoughts upon the homicide was taken. “What homicide?" in- most impracticable part of the experiment, quired the friend. Raleigh narrated the in- that of bounding the smoke in the balance, cident which had just occurred. “You must suspected that he put the traveler upon her be dreaming, Raleigh," said the visitor, “or and would needs lay him a wager that he want of air and exercise has turned your could not solve the doubt; so he procured the brain. I have been sitting in the ci quantity agreed upon, to be thoroughly | booth for the last half hour and have seen smoked, then went to weighing, but it was of no disturbance of any kind, though from my the ashes, and in conclusion what was want position nothing that occurred in the street ing in the prime weight of the tobacco her could have escaped me." Raleigh expostu- majesty did not deny to have been evaporated lated with him, but in vain; he persisted in smoke, and further said that many laborers in maintaining his assertion. At last in de- in the fire, she had heard of, who turned their spair the historian took up the work on which gold into smoke, but Raleigh was the first he had expended years of labor and anxiety who turned smoke into gold.”-HUME. and cast it into the fire that was blazing on Sitting one day, in deep meditation with the hearth. “If you and I,” exclaimed he, a pipe in his mouth, he inadvertently called “cannot agree as to an incident which took to his man to bring him a tankard of small place before our very eyes within the last ale; the fellow coming into the room threw ten minutes, how futile is it in me to suppose all the liquor into his master's face and, I can narrate with any certainty events that running downstairs, bawled out, "Fire! Help! occurred thousands of years ago in countries Sir Walter has studied until his head is on thousands of leagues from hence.” The manu- fire and the smoke bursts out of his mouth scripts thus destroyed are said to have con- and nose.”—The Gentleman's Magazine, Sep- tained the second and third books of his his- tember, 1731, quoting Applebee's Journal, tory, which he promised his readers in the closing words of his first book, and thus it September 18, 1731. is that his promise has remained unfulfilled. Though the practise of smoking was not --The Gentleman's Magazine, November, 1854. initiated by him it was he who made it the fashion of the court. In these halcyon days Meeting on his way from Westminster it is said that Elizabeth would sit beside [on the day before his execution] to the him while he smoked his silver pipe; and to Gate House an old acquaintance, Sir Hugh his fidelity to the habit witness is borne by Beeston, he gave him a cheerful greeting. Aubrey when he mentions-doubtless at least “You will come to-morrow morning ?” he repeating common report—that on his day asked, inviting him to the last pageant in of execution Raleigh "took a pipe of tobacco which he himself would take part; adding, a little before he went to the scaffold, which "I do not know what you will do for a some formal persons were scandalized at.”— place. For my own part I am sure of one. TAYLOR You must make what shift you can.”-TAY- LOR. Sir Walter Raleigh, we are told, had just completed the last sentence of his "History RANDOLPH, John, of Roanoke, 1773-1833. of the World,” the composition of which had American statesman. beguiled the weary hours of his imprison- When the erratic John Randolph of Roa- ment, when he rose from his seat to recreate noke was a member of Congress there were himself after his labor with the pen with 1 no railroads nor telegraphs and it was his 545 Randolph, John OF THE GREAT the man, who needlessly set foot upon a worm.” “Now, God Almighty planted this thing and you have killed it without any adequate object. It would have grown to a large nut tree, in whose boughs numerous squirrels would have gamboled and feasted on its fruit. Those squirrels in their turn might have furnished food for some human beings.” Here he made a pause, and looked as if he had something more to say, yet only added: "I hope and believe, sir, you will never do the like again.” “Never, sir, never"; he got up and put the stick in a corner and I made my escape to Tudor in an adjoining room, where he had remained an invisible but sympathetic auditor of this pro- tracted rebuke. It was some time before I could cut a switch or a fishing rod without feeling that I was doing some sort of violence to the economy of the vegetable kingdom.- PowHATAN BOULDIN, "Home Reminiscences of John Randolph,” quoting WILLIAM H. EL- LIOTT's "Schoolboy Reminiscences of John Randolph.” One day I was passing down the street when Mr. Randolph hailed me in a louder voice than usual. The first question he asked was whether I knew of a good ship in the James river in which he could get passage for England. He said he had been sick of re- mittent and intermittent fever for forty days and his physician said he must go to England. I told him there were no ships here fit for his accommodation and that he had better go to New York and sail from that port. “Do you think,” said he, "that I would give my money to those who are ready to make my negroes cut my throat? If I cannot go to England from a Southern port I will not go at all.” I then endeavored to think of the best course for him to take and told him there was a ship in the river. He asked me the name of the ship. I told him it was the Henry Clay. He threw up his arms and ex- claimed: "Henry Clay! No, sir! I will never step on the planks of a ship of that name."--HUGI A. GARLAND, "Life of John Randolph of Roanoke," quoting Mr. Anderson, cashier of the United States Branch Bank at Richmond. I observed one morning, says Mr. Jacob Harvey, of New York, to whom we are in- debted for the incidents of this voyage, that Mr. Randolph was examining a very large box of books, containing enough to keep him busy reading during a voyage around the world. I asked him why he had brought so many with him. "I want to have them bound in England, sir," he replied. “Bound in Eng land!” exclaimed I, laughing; "why did you not send them to New York or Boston, where you can get them done cheaper ?” “What, sir," replied he sharply, "patronize some of our Yankee taskmasters; those patriotic gentry who have caused such a heavy duty to be imposed upon foreign books? Never, sir, never; I will neither wear what they make, nor eat what they raise, so long as my to- bacco crop will enable me to get supplies from old England, and I shall employ John Bull to bind my books until the time arrives when they can be done properly below Mason and Dixon's line.”—GARLAND. In 1829 I dined at a public table and immediately opposite me sat Mr. Randolph. No one of us happened to be acquainted with him. Having finished his dinner he pulled a newspaper from his pocket and commenced reading. We had all heard of his surprising memory, particularly of dates. One of the company commenced conversation on history and managed to introduce a great number of dates, in each case intentionally making an error of one or two years in each date of each transaction quoted. Randolph stood these errors for a few minutes and, although the conversation was not addressed to him, he could not forego leaning across the table and saying: "Pardon me, sir; not 1667; it was October 15th, 1659," and in this way as each error occurred he corrected it until their frequency disgusted him. He then jumped from the table, evidently irritated, crammed his newspaper into his pocket and, very much in the style of Calvin Edson, the living skeleton, rushed out of the room.- Harper's Magazine, September, 1852. The reason why he left Russia was this: While he was there and before he had been presented to the emperor, some one under- took to teach him the presentation etiquette of that court. The minister was to enter the door and bow, at the middle of the room bow again and the emperor would meet him and enter into conversation. He was indignant at the idea of any one attempting to teach him and said: “Don't you think I know how without your showing me?” The day for his presentation approached. He entered the room and bowed very low, came to the middle of the room, stopped and again bowed; he then came nearer, took off one gauntlet and threw it on one side of the emperor, and then the other on the other side of the emperor, then he pitched his hat off in front, threw off his mantlet, threw off his sword and fell on his knees. The emperor was perfectly aston- ished, but, being a well educated man, knew Randolph, John 546 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES how to act under the circumstances. So he gling him out in a box in the Chestnut Street approached, lifted him up and conversed with Theater, he sought an opportunity to tread him. His reception did not come up to his | heavily on his toes, expecting to be imme- ideas, so, being disgusted with Russia, he left | diately challenged for the offense. But in this in a month.-PROFESSOR PARSONS, of Harvard expectation he was disappointed. Instead Law School, Albany Law Journal, August 20, of sending a challenge Randolph wrote a 1870. strong expostulatory letter to John Adams, the then president of the United States, com- In some of his peculiarities he seems to plaining of the insolence of his myrmidons have taken pride. One which he cultivated in endeavoring to intimidate and browbeat with care was an exaggerated precision of pronunciation. This led him to correct with- members of Congress. Whether the presi- dent took any notice of the affair, and, if any, out hesitation whatever he considered a blun. what, I cannot recollect.-Knickerbocker der in that respect. In one of his irritable moods at Roanoke he grew very impatient Magazine, November, 1834. for his cup of coffee and testily asked the The following is copied from a memoran. woman who was waiting on him: “Why don't dum in Mr. Randolph's own words: “Poca. you make that coffee?" "I wuz a makin' hontas (whose true name was Matoaca), it,” she replied. “You wuz making it," re baptized by the name of Rebecca, married torted the sick man; "who ever said 'wuz' but John Rolfe, Esq., and left an only son Thomas, you and the chief justice?" whose only daughter married Robert Bolling, of Bolling Hall, West Riding, of York, who After one of his voyages to England he made his appearance unexpectedly in Rich- left a son, John Bolling, one of whose daugh- mond at an evening party. Miss Coalter was ters married Richard Randolph, of Curles, whose youngest son, John Randolph of Roan- singing when her uncle entered the room. As oke, married Frances Bland. Your humble soon as she saw him she rose from the piano and advanced to meet him, exclaiming: servant is one of the only surviving issue of “Dear Uncle John, I had not hyerd you that marriage, and sixth in descent from Po- had come.” Knowing his fondness for his cahontas.”—BOULDIN. niece, the persons near Mr. Randolph stepped There is no doubt but that he was de. aside to give space for his meeting her. As scended from Pocahontas. He was most proud if to disappoint both them and the young of this. No stranger could be in his com- lady, Randolph replied to her greeting, “Herd, pany one hour and remain ignorant of it. herd, my dear,” and turning on his heel left He was sure to bring it in conversation some her rebuffed and mortified in the middle of way. He felt that old Powhatan was lord the room.—The Green Bag, July, 1898. of all Virginia and when he died he left his After the first discharge Mr. Randolph regal rights to his daughter and when she by firing into the air showed his disinclina- died they descended to him and that he was king of the whole land. There was a "screw tion to continue the fight. He immediately walked up to Mr. Clay, who was still stand- loose" somewhere in his mental composition. ing in his place, and, parting the folds of his So long ago as when the first steamboat was gown, pointed to a hole where the bullet of put upon the Hudson, there was not business the former had pierced his coat, and, in the enough to keep it employed every day, so shrillest tones of his squeaking voice, ex- frequently it would take excursion parties claimed: "Mr. Clay, you owe me a coat; you up the river. On one occasion quite a large owe me a coat,” to which he replied in a party were on board, among them Randolph voice of slow and solemn emphasis, at the and a Mr. Schuyler, who was a very modest, same time pointing directly to Mr. Ran- shy man, respected by all. While the boat dolph's heart: “Mr. Randolph, I thank God was going on its way Randolph started up, that I am no deeper in your debt.”—DANIEL went a few paces from a party of ladies MALLORY, “Life and Speeches of Henry Clay.” and shouted out: “Mr. Schuyler, Mr. Schuy. ler, will you do me the favor to come here?” In one of Mr. Randolph's orations he Mr. Schuyler left the party and approached made a violent attack on the army of the him. "Mr. Schuyler, look here," placing his United States, in which he did not spare that hand upon his ear, "what do you see?” of the revolution, but was as severe on it as “Nothing,” replied Mr. Schuyler. "Look at on the existing army. A Lieutenant Knight, I that ear; what do you see?” “Simply an an officer of the latter, feeling for the honor ear.” “Don't you see Pocahontas there ?" of the corps to which he belonged, deter: | In order for Schuyler to get away he finally mined to try the metal of his assailant. Sin. I said: "I think I do see a little of it,” Mr. 1008 547 Randolph, John OF THE GREAT Schuyler related this to Parsons. It was be traveling?" "Have I paid you my bill?” lieved that the aboriginal descendants of the “Yes.” “Do I owe you anything more?” country left a peculiar mark upon the lobe "No." "Well, I am just going where I please; of the ear, which always marked such per do you understand ?” “Yes.” The landlord sons.— PROFESSOR PARSONS, of Harvard Law by this time got somewhat excited and Mr. School, The Albany Law Journal, August 20, Randolph drove off. But to the landlord's sur- 1870. prise in a few minutes he sent one of his servants to inquire which one of the forks He attended the session of Congress in Philadelphia the December following [1800] of the road he should take. Mr. Randolph not being out of hearing distance, the land- and on appearing at the speaker's table, when lord spoke at the top of his breath: “Mr. the roll was called, to take the oath of of- fice, the speaker, Mr. Sedgwick, surprised at Randolph, you don't owe me a cent; just take which road you please.” his youthful appearance, asked him if he was It is said that the air turned blue with the curses of Ran- old enough to be eligible. “Ask my constit- uents,” replied Mr. Randolph, which was all dolph.-Harper's Magazine, May, 1853. the satisfaction the speaker got or required. I remember an anecdote which ex-Presi- ---LEMUEL SAWYER, “Biography of John Ran- dent Van Buren once told me of John Ran- dolph.” dolph. Somebody was speaking to him in a “The Democratic party has seven prin- complimentary vein in reference to a debate ciples—five loaves and two fishes.”-Magazine in the House of Representatives and told him of American History, March, 1877, quoting that a speech of his had not been answered. Randolph. "Answered, sir,” said he; "it was not made to be answered.”-JOHN BIGELOW, “The Life While a member of Congress, Randolph of Samuel J. Tilden." boarded in Georgetown, and generally rode over to the capitol, although he sometimes Familiar to many, it may be, will be walked. On a keen, frosty morning, while found this reply to a gentleman who rather walking across the Rock Creek bridge, he was forced himself upon Mr. Randolph's notice, seen by Mr. B- , who was walking on the while engaged in conversation with others, opposite side of the bridge in the same direc at a hotel in Virginia: “I have had the tion. Mr. B- , having a speaking acquaint pleasure, Mr. Randolph, recently of passing ance with Mr. Randolph, crossed over to walk your house.” “I am glad of it," said Mr. with him. Mr. Randolph had very long legs Randolph, "I hope you will always do it, and even in his ordinary gait was a fast sir.” walker. With some difficulty Mr. B- He said to a waiter, at the same time came up and saluted him with, “Good morn- handing him his cup and saucer: "Take that ing, Mr. Randolph; you are walking fast this away-change it.” “What do you want, Mr. morning.” “Yes, sir," squeaked Randolph, Randolph ?” asked the waiter respectfully; "and I can walk still faster,” which he at “do you want coffee or tea ?” “If that stuff once did, leaving Mr. B- far behind to is tea,” said he, “bring me coffee; if it's ruminate on the politeness of statesmen.- coffee, bring me tea. I want a change."- Harper's Magazine, February, 1876. Harper's Magazine, September, 1852. He was traveling through a part of Vir- He described Delaware as a state having ginia in which he was unacquainted; he three counties at low tide and four at high stopped during the night at an inn near the tide.—The Green Bag, April, 1900. forks of the road. The innkeeper was a fine gentleman, and, no doubt, one of the first He now made his preparations to die. families of the Old Dominion. Knowing who Between him and his faithful servant there his distinguished guest was, he endeavored appeared to be a perfect understanding. He during the evening to draw him into a con- | directed John to bring him his father's breast versation, but failed in all his efforts. But button, which was immediately produced. in the morning, when Mr. Randolph was He then directed him to place it in the ready to start, he called for his bill, which, bosom of his shirt. It was an old-fashioned, on being presented, was paid. The landlord, I large-sized gold stud. John placed it in the still anxious to have some conversation with buttonhole of the shirt bosom, but to fit it him, began as follows: "Which way are you completely required a hole on the opposite traveling, Mr. Randolph ?” “Sir?” said Mr. | side. When this was announced to his mas- Randolph with a look of displeasure. "I ter, he quickly said: “Get a knife and cut asked," said the landlord, "which way are you | one." I handed my penknife to John, who Randolph, John Rhodes, Cecil 548 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES cut a hole and fixed the valued relic to the who had legal aspirations] was asked the satisfaction of the dying patient. A napkin same question and he said, 'No.' We will was also called for and was placed by John admit you both, for anybody who can answer upon the breast of the patient. For a short offhand a question like that ought to prac- time he lay perfectly quiet, his eyes were tise law in this country.”-ROBERT P. PORTER, closed and I concluded that he was disposed McClure's Magazine, October, 1893. to sleep. He suddenly roused from this state with the words: “Remorse! Remorse!” It When his daughter Katherine, or Kitty, was twice repeated; at the last time, at the as he called her, was a little girl she had a top of his voice, evidently with great agita- cat to which she was very much devoted. tion, he cried out: “Let me see the word.” One day the kitten was sleeping in Reed's No reply followed: having learned enough of chair when he was about to sit down. His the character of my patient to ascertain, daughter in horror gave the chair a sudden when I did not know exactly what to say, pull to save the cat from annihilation and it was best to say nothing. He then ex- as a result Reed sat down heavily upon the claimed: "Get a dictionary—let me see the floor. It was rather a serious happening for word.” I cast my eyes around and told him a man of his size and even a lesser man I believed there was none in the room. might easily have lost his temper. But "Write it down then let me see the word.” the only notice he took of the affair was to I picked up one of his cards from the table, say gravely, after he had got on his feet: "Randolph of Roanoke," and inquired whether “Kitty, remember that it is easier to get I should write on that. “Yes; nothing more another cat than another father."-SAMUEL proper.” Then with my pencil I wrote "Re- W. McCALL, "Life of Thomas B. Reed." morse.” He took the card in his hands in a An anecdote is told of Reed which gives hurried manner and fastened his eyes on it an idea of his pugnacity. It seems that upon with great intensity. “Write it on the one occasion, when he was a young lawyer in back," he exclaimed. I did so and handed Portland, he had been engaged in an im- it to him again. He was excessively agitated portant case. The verdict went against his at this period—he repeated, “Remorse! You client. The opposing counsel, in passing from have no idea what it is--you can form no idea tle bar, smiled patronizingly on Reed and as of it whatever; it has contributed to bring he went by the court stenographer smoothed me to my present situation; but I have down the man's hair, ruffled in the nervous looked to the Lord Jesus Christ and hope I struggle to keep pace with the young lawyer's have obtained pardon." He then said: "Now rapid tongue. Reed instantly arose and, let John take your pencil and draw a line stretching himself to his great height, walked under the word,” which was accordingly boldly over to the stenographer and rubbed done. I inquired what was to be done with his hair back into its former position, look- the card; he replied: "Put it into your ing down upon his opponent with a con- pocket and take care of it; when I am dead temptuous smile.-FRANK A. MUNSEY, Mun- look at it."-JOSEPI PARRISI, deposition, bey's Magazine, April, 1893. Littell's Living Age, October 23, 1847. REED, Thomas Brackett, 1839-1902. Amer. Once the House was making an effort to secure a quorum and, as is usually done in ican statesman. such cases, telegrams were sent to members He went to California. Judge Wallace, who were absent. One man, who was de- afterwards chief justice of California, ex- | layed by a flood on the railroad, telegraphed amined Reed for admission to the bar. it Reed, saying: “Wash-out 'on line; can't was in 1863, during the Civil War, when the come.” Reed telegraphed back: “Buy an- legal tender act was much discussed in Cali other shirt and come on next train.”—MC- fornia, where a gold basis was still main- CALL. tained, that Wallace, whose offices adjoined the one where Reed was studying, happened William M. Springer, of Illinois, in the in one day and said: “Mr. Reed, I under course of a discussion when Reed was stand you want to be admitted to the bar. Speaker, quoted the well-known epigram of Have you studied law ?” “Yes, sir; I studied Clay—“I would rather be right than be Pres- law in Maine while teaching.” “Well,” said | ident.” Sotto voce Reed's inimitable drawl Wallace, "I have one question to ask: Is the could be heard: “The gentleman need not legal tender act constitutional ?” “Yes,” said worry, for he will never be either.” This Reed. “You shall be admitted to the bar," sally clung to Springer until his death and said Wallace; “Tom Bodley [a deputy sheriff, | very likely cost him the Speakership at the Rhodos, Cecil Richelieu, Cardinal 550 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES handing me a check, said almost inaudibly, light," and light his cigarette at mine. and with a lump in his throat: “Poor | LE SUEUR. woman! Give her that.” Then without look. Although his income amounted to very ing at her he turned his back so that his nearly a quarter of a million per annum, face should not be seen and left the room his banking account was as a rule overdrawn hurriedly by a side door. That was Rhodes's for nine months every year and he had to pay true nature, which unfortunately he always to the Standard Bank as interest on his over- studiously tried to conceal.-PHILIP JOURDAN, drafts as much as five thousand pounds per “Cecil Rhodes.” annum.---JOURDAN. In some publication, of the Truth or He never would carry money with him Modern Society type, I happened to see a par and on more than one occasion he suffered ticularly malevolent ... paragraph about for the want of it. During the Kimberley Rhodes, which referred to an incident with Industrial Exposition in 1892, in the pro- in my knowledge. I wrote to Dr. Jameson motion of which he took a prominent part, -it was never any use writing to Rhodes he was refused admission to the grounds --asking him whether I should contradict it. on one occasion because he had neither a To this letter I received the following char ticket nor money to pay for one. He told acteristic reply, dictated to Dr. Jameson by the attendant at the entrance gate who he Rhodes: "Tell Ivan-Müller that we colonists was, but that official, after having looked are not so soft-skinned as you people at home. him up and down suspiciously, refused to When we are hit we don't whine and cry, and believe him and would not admit him, saying when we are praised we don't pat our stom: that it was not likely that a wealthy man achs and say what fine fellows we are." such as Cecil Rhodes would go about in an indifferent suit with neither money nor a Mr. Rhodes's tailors and my own are one watch; and he was obliged to wait outside and the same, and for the same reason. the grounds until he was able to borrow some They had been our tailors when we were cash from a friend. He appreciated the man's undergraduates and we have been their cus- strict adherence to duty so much that he tomers ever since. Needing to replenish my afterwards sent him a handsome present. own wardrobe I went to the shop and, see- JOURDAN. ing an autograph letter of Mr. Rhodes on the wall, I remarked incidentally that I had Rhodes was on terms of great intimacy left him only three weeks ago. “Then,” said caid | with General Charles Gordon (Chinese Gor- the manager, "you can perhaps best tell me don), who wished him to accompany him to what clothes he wants, for we have received the Soudan. Rhodes, however, refused, say- an order for six suits of clothes without ing that his work lay in the South. Gordon any instructions as to material or as to is said to have told him the story of his whether they are for summer or for winter having been offered a roomful of silver in use.” “Well," I replied, "you had better China which he had refused, and to have send him a new dress suit, for I imagine asked Rhodes what he would have done. he wants one, and as for the rest I should “Why, taken it, to be sure,” said Rhodes, divide them as equally as possible between "and as much more as they would have liked winter and summer, for they have only two to give me; for what is the earthly use of seasons." "He is an unsatisfactory cus- having ideas if you haven't the money to tomer," said the manager, “for even when he carry them out ?"--LE SUEUR. is in England he won't allow us to try on his There are some who cannot for one mo- clothes. The only exception he made was ment overlook the gift of ten thousand when he had a frock coat built because he pounds which he once paid to Parnell. was about to pay a visit to the queen and Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, March, then he would give us only five minutes 1902. and was awfully cross the whole time.”— "Pure philanthropy,” he once remarked, E. B. IVAN-MÜLLER, The Fortnightly Review, “is all very well, but philanthropy plus five May 1, 1902. per cent. is a good deal better."-JOHN He had one curious habit: he would BRISBEN WALKER, Cosmopolitan Magazine, never light his cigarette with a match. When June, 1902. he wanted a cigarette, and I was not smok. Once in old Kimberley days Rhodes ing, he would say to me: "Take a cigarette.” | looked up an old bachelor acquaintance for I would take one and light it and then he a chat. The acquaintance, assistant man. would reach over and say: "Now give me a ager of something or other, was making a 551 Rhodes, Cecil OF THE GREAT Richelieu, Cardinal list of his washing, "Wait a moment, Rhodes | no support in history and it is not so much --six collars-m'm-three shirts " "Do as hinted at by the most malicious of his you know," Rhodes interrupted him solemnly, contemporaries. It was the fabrication of "you will never be anything more than an a later age, but the idle tradition holds its assistant manager.” And he never was.-- ground.-LEGGE, “The Unpopular King." He GARRETT. was not in truth, as one hath of late full I was up in slanderously described him, "little of stature, Victoria in 1893. The ill-featured of limbs, crook-backed, his left Matabele impis were close to the town and shoulder much higher than his right and kept attacking and killing our Mashona hard-favored of visage” [Sir Thomas MORE, workmen. I remonstrated with them and "Life of Richard III.”]; none of these was ordered them off in vain. I was besieged with he; for though his person were not of the complaints from the settlers, who threat- tallest, it was well up to the middle stature ened to trek out of the country if these of men; and albeit one of his shoulders might marauders were not promptly brought to rea- be somewhat higher than its fellow, yet he son. I sent Lendy to drive them off if they had a shrewd eye who did discover it and a would not go quietly. They fired on him and passing malicious wit who reported it to be he charged and broke them, inflicting con- a great deformity.-WILLIAM HAZELTINE, siderable loss. Thereupon other impis ad- “The Last of the Plantagenets," whose nar- vanced and threatened Victoria. Rhodes was rative purports to be in the words of a docu- down at the House at Cape Town. I wired ment penned by “the last of the Plantag- him from Victoria the exact situation and enets," supposed to live been discovered at said that it was an absolute necessity to as Eastwell.-Notes and Queries, October 16, sume the offensive and strike at Bulawayo at 1886. once. Rhodes, who does not waste words, wired back briefly: "Read Luke fourteen In "Old England” there are four por. thirty-one.” ... I asked for a Bible, looked traits of Richard. All, I think, contradict up the passage and read: “Or what king, go the popular notion of his person.-Notes and ing to make war against another king, sit Queries, November 20, 1886. teth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him RICHELIEU, Armand Jean Duplessis, 1585- that cometh against him with twenty thou- 1642. French statesman. sand ?” Of course I understood at once what There is no foundation whatever for the Mr. Rhodes meant. The Matabeles had an | story, told in later years by Richelieu's de- army of many thousands. I had nine hun tractors, that he deceived the pope as to his dred settlers available for action. Could I, | age by producing a false certificate of birth, after careful consideration, venture to face and that when he afterwards confessed the such unequal odds? I decided at once in fraud Paul V. declared that "that young man the affirmative and immediately telegraphed | will be a great rogue." Equally unfounded is back to Mr. Rhodes at Cape Town: “All the counterbalancing story that the pope was right. Have read Luke fourteen thirty-one.” so impressed with Richelieu's store of theo- -L. S. JAMESON, "Personal Reminiscences logical learning that he exclaimed: “It is of Mr. Rhodes." only fair that one whose knowledge is above his age should be ordained under age.”- The "irresistible impulse," as Mr. | RICHARD LODGE, “Richelieu.” Rhodes explained it to a friend, which made him throw himself into beleaguered Kim- A trait of the cardinal's that looks like berley by the last train that got through weakness to-day must be understood in re- the closing Boer lines, and share the hard lation to the time. He welieved in alchemy, ships and dangers of the siege with his work. sorcery, visions and other medieval super- men; turning the DeBeers workshops into a stitions. It does not appear that he had much skilful modern arsenal and astonishing the faith in astrology, which was decidedly in Boer besiegers with the grim pleasantry, fashion, though a few uncertain stories are stamped on all the shells there manufactured: told of his belief in it. Alchemy was still "With C. J. Rhodes's Compliments.”-GAR- | credible enough and he more than once RETT. promoted experiments. A certain Dubois made some experiments in his presence at RICHARD III., 1452-1485. King of Eng. Vincennes. The cardinal followed carefully, land. and, when he saw gold appear in the crucible, It must then be allowed that the popular entrusted the man with a large sum for fur- conception of Richard as a hunchback finds ther production. Dubois decamped with it. Richelieu, Cardinal 552 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES He had put the gold in the crucible with the in his name and condemn all others. This hollow rod used for stirring it. The long arm body was called the French Academy. It of the cardinal reached the charlatan in his seems to have been considered a point of retirement, and, after a brief experience of honor with the five poets not to produce any. the terrible Laffemas, he was hanged for thing in their own names, at least nothing magical practises. A more honest alchemist | better than what they published under that nervously tried to make gold before Louis | of the cardinal's. Hence, when Corneille pub- and Richelieu at the Louvre. He failed and lished his famous "Cid," the earliest good was sent to trial for sorcery and coining. tragedy in the French language, it was re- Joseph McCABE, “The Iron Cardinal." garded by the cardinal as an act of petty treason and, although one of the privileged Exercise was likewise necessary for the poets, the author was immediately delivered body as well as the mind; and it was his over to the forty judges to be tried and pun- custom, when much confined, to jump after ished in the ordinary way.-The North Amer. dinner across the chamber he might be in ican Review, April, 1820, citing Goeffrey on and mark his jumps against the wall. But Dramatic Literature. he had a particular dislike to be found en- gaged in such amusements. One day M. de "Do you know," he once said to Des- Grammont, who seems to have been as good marets, "what is the occupation in which I a courtier as his namesake who made les take the most delight?” “I suppose," made délices of the court of our Charles II., and answer the courtly poet, “that your eminence who was at home in the cardinal's palace, prefers of all things to work out the hap- being a relation by marriage, came upon him piness of France." "Not at all,” was the unexpectedly while employed in this exer cardinal's reply; "it is writing verses." ... cise. Richelieu looked a little confused at No wonder that "Mirame” never saw the light being caught in his doublet and hose, but the again for two hundred years. Though men- practised courtier was not for a moment at tioned in every work that treats of Richelieu, a loss. “Does your eminence call that jump whether history or fiction, it was so little ing?” cried de Grammont; "why, I can jump known that no copy of it exists in the half as far again.” To jumping they went, Bibliothèque Nationale and the description Grammont not supporting his boast, but al of its first performance given by Alfred de lowing the powerful minister to beat him Vigny in his “Cinq-Mars” simply proved that each jump a little.-WILLIAM ROBSON, “Life he could never have read the play and drew of Richelieu.” on his imagination for all the details re- specting it. But a few weeks ago a solitary The cardinal, who justly holds a high performance of "Mirame" was given at one rank among the statesmen of Europe, seems of the literary matinées of the Troisième to have thought that he could carry into Théâtre-Français. That second representa- poetry the same process that he employed in tion in no wise reversed the decision of the politics. As in the accomplishment of his first. The audience was moved to irreverent political designs he left all the trouble of hilarity by the language and incidents of the execution to his agents, civil and military, fifth act, with its series of sudden resurrec- while he reserved to himself all the glory of tions, and the play came to an end amid success, he seems to have supposed that by shouts of laughter. Nobody imitated the ordering plays to be written and acted in his Mauprat of Bulwer's "Richelieu" and "ap- name he should be justly entitled to the plauded at the proper place.” “Mirame" is reputation of a dramatic poet. He accord- not, however, as has been generally supposed, ingly appointed a committee of five poets, the only specimen of dramatic writings of corresponding in number to the acts neces- Richelieu that still survives. There exists sary for a perfect play, and when he wanted to write a tragedy he issued his orders and also a tragedy from his pen called “Merope." each of his poets produced an act. Corneille This work, when completed, he read aloud to was one of this committee. ... The cardinal, his secretary, and flatterer, Boisrobert. It who was aware no doubt that a piece, in was so very bad that when he asked Bois- order to produce any reputation for its robert what he thought of it the candid author, must not only contain the five neces. reply was that it was only fit to be de- sary acts, but must be applauded by the stroyed. The cardinal tore up his tragedy in public, after providing for the first of these a pet and went to bed. But in the middle conditions in the way just mentioned, in of the night, stung with remorse for having stituted a commission of forty, whose busi: | destroyed such a masterpiece, he arose, called ness it was to praise the pieces published | his attendants, caused the scattered frag. Richollen, Cardinal Robespierre 554 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ambassadors and how far he would accom- | condemn me if I have had any other aim pany them out of the room when the inter than the welfare of God and of the state." view was over. It was found impossible to This sentence, like the death-bed utterances come to an agreement on these points and of many other eminent men, has been cor- the marriage might never have taken place rupted by tradition into a more epigrammatic if some one had not suggested to the cardi form. According to Madame de Motteville, nal the expedient of illness. Richelieu oblig. | Richelieu replied: "I have had no enemies ingly took to his bed and the English en except those of the state.”—LODGE. voys were enabled to visit him without dan- The surgeons dissected Richelieu's brain ger of risking their dignity.--GEORGINA HILL, after his death and reported that the organs The Gentleman's Magazine, February, 1901. of hearing were duplicated, if not tripli. Grim humor is found in many of the cated. What real peculiarity there was stories told about him. When Cardinal de la we shall never know, but the legend of Valette died, Richelieu decided to reward the. the crude anatomists suited the myth- count d'Harcourt with his command. Har. makers.---McCABE. court was of the Lorraine family and had lit. RICHELIEU, Louis François Armand Du. tle hope of advancing under Richelieu, but the cardinal had noted his merit and now plessis, Duke of, 1696-1788. Marshal of summoned him. “The king directs that you France. must leave the kingdom," said he to the I know a lady who became infatuated with young noble. Harcourt turned pale and bowed him from merely having seen a back view of in silence. "Because," Richelieu immediately him.-CARDINAL DUBOIS, "Memoirs." went on, "he has made you general of the In a moment of petulance at a supper army in Italy as a reward for your fidelity." the king had given him a slap. This, it will -McCABE. be seen at once, was "being driven into a Canon Mulot, the cardinal's confessor, corner.” To return it was impossible, to had no onerous position. He had rendered rest under it a disgrace, and, indeed, any service to Richelieu at Avignon and was not serious dealing with the matter must, at forgotten. He was a good drinker and, ap the best, have led to retirement from the parently, a favorite butt for jokes. One day court-a self-inflicted punishment which Richelieu put thorns under the saddle of his would have been ridiculous where no offense horse, before he mounted. When he found had been given. Without a moment's pause his feet again he rushed to the cardinal, it the nobleman turned to his neighbor and is said, crying: “You are a bad man." "Be slapped his face, saying: “The king wishes quiet,” said the cardinal, “or I'll have you you to pass that on.” Thus it passed into the hanged for revealing the secrets of the con regions of jest.-London Graphic, July 1875. fessional.”—MCCABE. (A similar anecdote is told of George IV.) Richelieu died in December, 1642, pre. The Marshal de Richelieu became in his maturely aged and broken. He was at the old age inconveniently deaf, but no one knew height of his power and glory. As the end better how to turn the infirmity to account. came he felt a premonition and asked the As First Gentleman of the Bedchamber, the doctor: "Shall I recover?” He was an. three principal theaters in Paris were under swered: “We must hope so; God will surely his direction; and the old marshal was ex- spare a life so precious to France.” “Speak,” tremely indulgent in sanctioning engage- said he, "as a friend and not as a mere ments with young artists of merit or actresses physician. Have I long to live?” “In of promise. One day, having been apprized twenty-four hours you will be cured or be at that the directors of the Opéra Comique had rest.” “That is speaking to the purpose. determined to dismiss a young female singer, Child (to his niece), you have been tender recommended to his good offices, he sum- and good; obey me in one thing-leave the moned Grétry and the two semainiers (mem- room. God's hand may be heavy upon me; bers of the company required by weekly rota- you must not be by.” To the confessor who tion to decide on the engagement of dé. asked him to forgive his enemies, he an. butantes). “I sent for you, my dear Grétry," swered: “I have no enemies but the enemies said he, “to inform these gentlemen of your of the state.” They were practically his opinion of Mademoiselle R.” “My opinion, last words.-JOHN F. TAYLOR, The Fort- Monsieur le Maréchal, is that there is no nightly Review, October 1, 1898. hope for her,” replied the composer. "You Asked whether he pardoned his enemies, hear, gentlemen," said the marshal, turning he replied: "Absolutely, and I pray God to l gravely to the other two, who stood at a 555 Richelieu, Cardinal OF THE GREAT Robespierre respectful distance, “Monsieur Grétry, the greatest pleasure,” said the occupant. Turn- best of judges, says he had great hopes of ing to the chauffeur he said: “You are en- her." "The fact is,” said Grétry, "that Made. tirely at this oflicer's disposal. I shall walk moiselle R. has no ear.” “You hear, gentle on and you can pick me up when he has done men, Monsieur Grétry observes that the young with you.” As he spoke he got out of the lady has an excellent ear. Make out, there car and as he lifted his cap in response to fore, an agreement for three years. I have the young officer's salute and hasty words of the honor to wish you a good morning.” thanks the latter recognized Field Marshal T'he Eclectic Magazine, February, 1854. Lord Roberts, V.C.-COULSON KERNAHAN, The National Review, November, 1915. ROBERTS, Frederick Sleigh, Baron Roberts of Kandahar, Viscount St. Pierre, Earl I have only heard to-day that there are Roberts, 1832-1914. English field marshal. women and children in your laager. If this A Territorial captain-his brother, an of- is the case, I will be happy to accord them ficer in the regular army, told me the story- a safe conduct through my lines to any place they may select. I must express my was taking part in a field day with his bat- talion in Berkshire. His instructions were regret to you that these women and chil- dren were exposed to our fire during the that he was at all costs to hold a certain late attacks. We did not know of their pres- line of country. It so happened that the attack developed in a direction which made ence with your troops. I have also heard that you are in want of surgeons and medi- it necessary for him hurriedly to advance his men to a flank and away from his re- cines. If you require them it will afford me great pleasure to send you either the one serves. ... When his superior officer, finding or the other.-Lord Roberts to General himself hard pressed, signaled for the re- Cronje, February 21, 1900, quoted by GEORGE serves, there was no reply. Unfortunately FORREST, “The Life of Lord Roberts." there was neither galloper nor cyclist at hand to carry a message. "If I don't get my re- (Cronje declined the safe conduct but ac- serves here in half an hour," the officer said, cepted the offer of surgeons and medicines on condition that the surgeons would re- “I shall lose the position and ine loss of the main with him until he changed the location position may mean, probably will mean, vic- tory for the enemy all along the line. It of his camp. Lord Roberts replied that he could not spare his surgeons for so indefinite shan't be so if I can help it. Now what can I do?” Hurriedly but keenly he scanned a period. Cronje almost immediately after- wards surrendered.) the rolling Berkshire down around him. On the whity-brown high road that curved out ROBESPIERRE, François Maximilien Jo- ward in a huge half circle from the point seph Isidore, 1758-1794. French states- where he was standing, he saw a cloud of man. dust. “A motor and coming this way!” he Robespierre did not hold his office long. exclaimed. “Follow me, Brown.” (This to Every one has heard the striking story, how a non-commissioned officer.) Stooping low, so the young judge whose name was within half as not to offer a target to the enemy, he a dozen years to take a place in the popular sprinted in a line which intersected the mind of France and Europe with the blood- high road at the nearest point which the iest monsters of myth and history, resigned on-coming car must pass. The motor was al- his post in a fit of remorse after condemn- most on him as he reached the road and, ing a murderer to be executed. “He is a leaping into the center, held up his hand. “I criminal, no doubt," Robespierre kept groan- beg your pardon, sir," said he to the occu- ing reply to the consolations of his sister, for pant, “but I am in command of troops hold- women are more positive creatures than men: ing this position. We're attacked in force "a criminal no doubt, but to put a man to and my reserves are at some distance away death!” Many a man thus begins the great in a copse, along the road in the direction voyage with queasy sensibilities and ends you have come. I've signaled for reenforce- it a cannibal.-JOHN Morley, The Fort. ments, but they have not kept up their com- | nightly Review', August 1, 1876. munications. I have neither a galloper nor a cyclist. If I get my reenforcements here in The province of Artois was not the last half an hour, I can hold the position. If I to adopt the discovery (lightning rods); but don't, I lose it, and losing it means every. | there, as elsewhere, the spirit of ignorance thing to the enemy. I wonder if you'd be so and superstition set every wheel at work very good as to lend me your car for a few to baſe the enlightened friends of humanity. minutes to carry a message?” “With the | The credulous inhabitants of the country Robespierre Rosse, Lord 556 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES were persuaded that such an invention could quashed the judgment of the magistrate of only be the work of a demon, and that it St. Omer and permitted M. de Vissery to would be an outrage on God's justice thus | reerect his conductors.-J. B. O'BRIEN, “Life to take precautions to ward off the effects of Robespierre." of His thunder which was the most impos. There is now—1849—living in Paris & sible manifestation of His power. To these re- certain M. Legrand, who boasts of his ac. ligious terrors was added the language of quaintance with Robespierre, whom he re- private interest, always listened to with gards as the “best abused man” of his ac. favor. It was unblushingly alleged that thunderbolts oftener fell on houses which had quaintance. To him Robespierre was a "very amiable man in society." conductors than on those which had not; He only thinks of him in that light. The Reign of Terror and, even if the houses having them escaped, is a sort of nightmarehe no longer thinks the consequence only was to divert the rav- of it. The "incorruptible” to him is no fierce ages of the fluid upon the adjacent country. demagogue hounding on the passions of an These perfidious reasonings took extremely excited nation-no vain pedagogue striving well with the multitude, from whom the dis- by words of reason to calm those passions- covery encountered a fierce opposition. It but a pleasant, amiable, gentlemanly fellow was in the teeth of this prejudice that M. enough, whom he delights to remember. de Vissery, a wealthy proprietor at St. There is one story he always tells and I re- Omer (whose love of the physical sciences had induced him to make experiments to gret that I must spoil it in telling, wherein so much depends on the gesture and the quiet try the utility of conductors), undertook, senile tone of voice, but such as it is I think after satisfying himself of their efficacy, to it will amuse the reader: “I remember that erect one upon his property. The neighbors when once I was at the house of the family got alarmed, inveighed furiously against M. of Lebas, where he went quite often, I heard de Vissery and demanded from the municipal some noise at the stairway. 'Hold,' said I authorities of St. Omer the demolition of to myself. 'I bet that is the joker Robes- the obnoxious conductors. After some dis- pierre'---because he was very jolly-in so- cussion, the worthy magistrate, who knew ciety. (This by name of joker is quite pecu- nothing of the question, decided it in a liar!) In fact, it was he. He enters the manner worthy of the fifteenth century; that parlor-I approach him and say to him, is to say, by ordering the demolition. M. de ‘Citizen, thou knowest-or thou shouldst Vissery, indignant at this barbarous judg. know-that M. Legrand, a relation of mine, ment, consulted Robespierre, by whom he was well, he is convicted and to-morrow morning, advised to appeal against it, and to whom -(here a very significant gesture imitative accordingly he entrusted the case to be re- of the guillotine completes the sentence) —'a argued before the Superior Council. The man, a citizen, whose innocence has been question being one which much interested proven to me! For him I stand, as for my- the learned world, Robespierre was deter- self!--and the life of an innocent citizen is mined to give it all the publicity possible, some affair-what?' Then he replied, 'Let with a view to procure a favorable hearing me see; let me see, your affair!' (for he was for his client on the one hand, and to cure very amiable in society- M. de Robespierre!) a deplorable prejudice on the other. Before I tell him the case. Then he asks, 'At what the trial came on he published a paper on hour is your friend to die?'— (Oh, he was the subject, which he had profusely circu- very amiable in society-M. de Robespierre!) lated both at Arras and at Paris. In that -Citizen,' I reply to him; 'it is at nine paper he examined the case both as a ques- o'clock sharp.' 'At nine o'clock; but that is tion of law and a question of physical science unfortunate, for thou knowest that I work and (what must have been then a curiosity late, so, as I go to bed late, I get up late. I as well as an innovation in provincial prac- tise) he proved that a right understanding fear that I shall not be up in time to save of the scientific part was essential to a right your friend—but we will see—will see (for understanding of the legal part. The effect he was very amiable in society, M. de Robes. was irresistible. Robespierre's memorial was pierre)." After a short pause he continues: relished by the public, admired by the “It seems to me that M. de Robespierre had profession and responded to by flattering worked very hard that night, because my poor letters from several distinguished men of friend—” (here again the guillotine gesture), science. The court was equally captivated "well, it is immaterial, I am sure, that, had and M. de Vissery gained his cause. By a he not worked so hard, he would have saved decree of the 31st of May, 1783, the court my poor friend—because he was very amiable 557 Robespierre Rosse, Lord OF THE GREAT in society, M. de Robespierre.”—G. H. LEWES, idea that he was giving way to the tempta- "Life of Robespierre." tion to make a flattering if not witty joke; so, to pay him back in his own money, I said, ROCHEFORT, Henri, Marquis de Rochefort- “But I thought I was Henri Rochefort.” “I Lucay, 1831-1913. French journalist and don't deny that,” he replied. “Still it is none legislator. the less astonishing that you should have so The toy lamb was the attraction. A tube many portraits of that socialist in your was attached to it and at the end of the house." I doubt whether judicial annals tube was a bulb which, when pressed, made have ever contained anything so clownish. the lamb leap. Again and again, Rochefort, the Lurid, set the lamb lea ping. I, too, lost One day I advocated in the columns of my heart to the lamb—and made it frisk. the Intransigeant the abolition of the death Amidst all this irresponsibility my host was penalty in France except in the case of par- pleased to pronounce me “sympathetic" and ents who left their offspring alone with "charming”-not like the "traditional” Eng. matches or near open windows. The public lishman with the bulldog, the aggressive side probably regarded this savage projet de loi whiskers, and long, glistening teeth. Roche as a freak of fancy. It was written in all fort saw me to the garden door; Rochefort sincerity. The act of leaving a baby uncared actually plucked me a rose; Rochefort's part. for or unwatched appeared to me every bit as ing words were a cordial invitation to visit criminal as the most revolting murder com- him and his lamb soon. So was I amazed mitted with mercenary ends in view, to find myself described in his very next I was born a children's nurse, as my article as "a sinister brigand, in the pay of friends found amusement in reminding me the Jews; in fact, one of those diabolical in later life. When only eight years of age bandits who are devastating our beloved I implored my mother to take me to the France." ... A week later I approached him Foundling's Home and allow me to choose a and mildly protested, as he was sitting on child, which should be my very own, for my the terrace of the Palais de la Paix, drinking New Year's present, and which I might wash milk and Vichy water, sucking his eternal and dress myself. My poor mother replied lozenges and still playing with the lamb. that she had already four children to bring “Bah, that was only print," came the reply; up, that the labor attendant upon this was "let us resume our game with the lamb." As exhausting her and destroyed her eyesight he made it leap deftly on the marble-topped and that she had no particular desire to see table, passersby, recognizing his Luridness, the size of the household increased. Hav- stopped, stared and smiled at the spectacle. ing constantly had children in my arms, even "That's the great Rochefort," said the maître when I was quite young myself, I don't sup- d'hôtel to an American tourist-and stupe- pose there is anybody who knows better how faction of the States. Rising at last and to swaddle a newborn babe and how to make stuffing the lamb into his pocket, Rochefort a youngster swallow its gruel without soil. remarked, “I must go off and do my article- ing its bib. Until my daughter was some but you shan't be the brigand. I feel amiable months old, I nursed her day and night and to-night and shall write something pleasant." indoors and out. When I hadn't her with Next morning appeared the notorious, atro- me, I rounded my arm whilst walking exact- cious article demanding that walnut-shells- ly as though I were carrying a child. The containing long, hairy spiders-should be peculiarity was so notable that Jules Valles, strapped to the eyes of Captain Dreyfus.- whom I knew very early in my literary JOHN T. MACDONALD, The Contemporary Re- career, scarcely ever met me without ex- view, August, 1913. claiming, “We can tell you from a distance; "In the searches that have been made you always look as if you were carrying the in your apartment in the rue de Chateaudun youngster.”—HENRI ROCHEFORT, “The Adven. proofs have been discovered of your connec tures of my Life." tion with bands of cosmopolitan revolution- ROSSE, Richard, Earl of, 1686-1741. Mem. ists." "I am not very clear what you mean," I said. “Well, in one of your drawers were ber of the Irish Parliament. found two photographs of Garibaldi and Maz Richard, first Earl of Rosse, who died in zini with their autographs.” “Yes; it is true 1741, was a humorist who delighted in prac- that those two great patriots sent me their tical jokes and on his death-bed could not photos.” “But,” added the ignorant brute, resist in indulging in his favorite pleasantry. "that's not all. There were also several por | As his life had not been sufficiently edifying traits of Henri Rochefort seized.” I had an to suit the evangelical notions of the dean of Rosse558 Busto , Lord WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Lord Charles Kilmore, that pious divine wrote him a very tical court. Next day the archbishop again strong-worded epistle reminding him "of the met the dean and told him the consequences fearful account he would have to render of of writing such a letter might be ruinous and his blasphemy, obscenity and other iniquities urged him as a friend to ask the earl's par. unless he forthwith repented.” This letter don. "Pardon, my lord," echoed the dean, was despatched to the house of the dying peer, “why, the earl is dead.” “Dead ?” exclaimed next door to whom lived a very different the archbishop, “Lord Kildare dead?” “No; nobleman, the God-fearing and home-loving Lord Rosse.” “Whom did you write the let. Earl of Kildare. The thought of how in ter to?” inquired the archbishop. “The un- dignant his virtuous neighbor would be on happy Lord Rosse.” The mystery was thus reading such a letter, which bore no special explained to Lord Kildare's satisfaction.- address save on the envelope, instantly flashed J. R. O'FLANAGAN, “Lord Chancellors of Ire- into the frolicsome mind of Lord Rosse, so, land.” carefully refolding the letter, he put it into a new envelope and, carefully imitating the RUSSELL, Lord Charles, of Killowen, 1832- dean's writing, directed and sent it by the 1900. Chief Justice of England. . dean's servant to the Earl of Kildare. The One day in court the lay client in a case earl, having read it with equal surprise and turned round and made some suggestion to indignation, showed it to the countess, say Russell. “Who is that unpleasant-looking ing, "he feared the dean had lost his senses.” man who spoke to me?" said Russell with a She read the letter again and, considering | frown to the solicitor, who happened to be the style for a lunatic, advised her husband to sitting by the side of the client. “That's your take it to the archbishop of Dublin. The client," said the solicitor. “Then I must earl accordingly went to his grace and said, trouble you," said Russell, “to have him go "Pray, my lord, did you ever hear that I was to some other part of the court where I can- a profane blasphemer, a profligate liver, a not see him.” The solicitor conveyed the re- habitual gambler, a rioter-in short, every quest in diplomatic language to the client. thing that is base and vile?” “You, my lord,” The client, however, did not quite see why he replied the archbishop, “every one knows you should change his place and said so. “Tell as a pattern of humility, godliness and vir him,” said Russell, “that if he does not go tue.” “Well then, my lord, what satisfaction at once where I can't see him, I won't go can I have of a reverend divine who, under on with the case.” The client immediately his own hand, lays all this to my charge?” disappeared.-R. BARRY O'BRIEN, “Life of “Surely, no man in his senses, who knows Lord Russell of Killowen." your lordship, would presume to do it and, A Manchester solicitor, gold-chained, if a clergyman had been guilty of such an jeweled, and wearing a magnificent fur coat, offense, your lordship would have satisfaction came into his chambers one day, “What do in the Spiritual court.” The earl then pro- you mean by coming here in a coat like that? duced the letter, saying it had been left Take it off at once, sir," Russell cried sav. at his house that morning by the dean's ser- agely. Everybody present was dismayed, but vant. The archbishop immediately sent for as soon as the coat was removed he plunged the dean to demand an explanation of his into the case which the solicitor had brought writing this uncalled-for letter and, on his as if nothing unusual had happened.-WIL- obeying the summons, the archbishop placed LIAM H. RIDEING, "Many Celebrities and a the earl in an adjoining room while he con- Few Others." versed with the dean. On the entrance of the latter his grace produced the letter and Russell attended to the smallest details reproached him for having written it. The of a case; he forgot nothing; he overlooked dean said he was much surprised at his | nothing. Once he was engaged in a breach of grace's remarks, for in writing it he conceived promise action. “The case," says his devil, that he “was doing no more than his duty “was a simple one and practically the ques. in trying to rescue a soul from perdition.” tion was the amount of damages which the The archbishop said, “there was nothing to plaintiff would get. Directly his junior and justify such a letter” as he held in his hand solicitor had seated themselves in his room and hinted at unpleasant consequences. The for consultation, he turned to the latter and dean, quite taken aback, said, "I have done asked, "What is your client going to wear what was my duty and am quite ready to at the trial?' The solicitor replied that he abide any result.” He then retired and the had not the faintest idea. Russell then said, earl consulted the chancellor, who advised "Take her to-morrow to the dressmakers and him to institute proceedings in the Ecclesias. | order a perfectly plain dress of soft gray 561 John OF THE GREAT RussellRussellCharles , Lord , Lord He had no memory for faces and was with many qualities, had not given him the painfully apt to ignore his political followers steady hand and quick eye which make a good when he met them beyond the walls of Parlia shot. A Scotch gillie Lord Lansdowne is ment. Once, staying in a Scotch country responsible for the story--said of him, "For- house, he found himself thrown with young bye it hadn't pleased the Lord to make him a Lord D— , now Earl of S- He liked the sportsman, he was a very decent body." — young man's conversation and was pleased SPENCER WALPOLE, “Life of Lord John Rus- to find that he was a Whig. When the sell.” party broke up, Lord John conquered his Of William and John Scott, afterwards shyness sufficiently to say to his new friend, Lord Stowell and Lord Eldon, Lord Russell "Well, Lord D , I am very glad to have used to tell with infinite zest a story which made your acquaintance and now you must he declared to be highly characteristic of the come into the House of Commons and sup- methods by which they made their fortunes port me there." "I have been doing that for and positions. When they were young men the last ten years, Lord John," was the at the bar, having had a stroke of profes- reply of the gratified follower.-GEORGE W. E. sional luck, they determined to celebrate the RUSSELL, "Recollections." occasion by having a dinner at a tavern and Lord John Russell took the Duchess of going to a play. When it was time to call Inverness in to dinner. When he got to his for the reckoning, William Scott dropped a place he looked behind him and walked around guinea. He and his brother searched for it to the other side of the table and sat down in vain and came to the conclusion that it next to the Duchess of St. Albans. Lady had fallen between the boards of the uncar- John said to him afterwards, "What on earth peted floor. “This is a bad job," said Wil- made you leave the Duchess of Inverness liam; "we must give up the play." "Stop a and go across to the Duchess of St. Albans?” bit,” said John; "I know a trick worth two “Well," he replied, “I should have been sick of that,” and he called the waitress. “Betty," if I had sat where I was put with my back | said he, "we've dropped two guineas. See if to the fire.” “But I hope," said his wife, you can find them.” Betty went down on her “that you explained it to the Duchess of In- | hands and knees and found the one guinea verness.” “No, I didn't,” he said, “but I did which had rolled under the fender. “That's to the Duchess of St. Albans.”—ALGERNON a very good girl,” said John Scott, pocket- WEST, The Nineteenth Century and After, ing the coin; "and when you find the other October, 1896. you can keep it for your trouble.” And the prudent brothers went with a light heart to On one occasion Disraeli was carrying the the play and so eventually to the bench and House of Commons with him. Mr. K. H., now the woolsack.-GEORGE W. E. RUSSELL, "Rec- Lord B- , at that time a Whig, was seated ollections." behind Lord John Russell, of course, on the opposite side of the House to the orator. Between 1865 and 1878, not far from the Roused to involuntary enthusiasm by Dis- entrance into Richmond Park, there might raeli's eloquence, he cheered. Lord John be seen, sitting under the verandah of the Russell leaned back and said to his supporter first house one reaches, a little, shrunken, in a very dry voice, "Don't do that.” After old man, sometimes reading or talking, but Disraeli had finished his speech Mr. K. H. more often, as it seemed, intently studying a said to Lord John, “I could not help cheer- scientific instrument that, standing at his ing; I admire his power so much.” Lord side, indicated not only the quarter but the John replied, “No reason why you should let exact force of any breeze which happened to him know it.”-WILLIAM FRASER, "Disraeli be blowing. The student of this wind-gauge, and his Day." then living at Pembroke, was the Earl of Russell of that day, the famous Lord John Yet, though Lord John worked hard and / of an earlier epoch.-H. T. S. Escort, “So- late, nature, which had so freely endowed him l ciety in the Country House." 563 St. Leonards, Lord OF THE GREAT Seward, William H. night after the general had retired a mem "Martin Burke! Martin Burke! Every ber of the staff wanted some water. The army ought to have one Martin Burke, but evening was warm and the hour late, being only one, sir. I recall me," he continued, past midnight. The officer rose to go in his “it was at Contreras that the enemy occupied shirt sleeves. He was cautioned against the the crest of a plateau to our left. I detached experiment as a dangerous one, for if Scott Riley with one brigade to march that night caught him in his quarters with his coat off to the left rear of the enemy by circuit, he would punish him. The officer said he and Persifer Smith with another brigade to would risk it—that the general was asleep the right by another circuit to fall upon and he would make no noise. He opened the and dislodge this force; and then Major door softly and went on tiptoe for the water Burke was ordered to move straight forward pitcher. He had no time to drink before he with his battalion of artillery through a heard the tinkle of the bell and the sentinel cornfield as a feint. Everything resulted as outside the door entered. “Take this man planned. The enemy was driven by the rear to the guard house," was the brief order, and attacks down the face of the declivity to a the coatless captain spent the night on a hard | road leading towards Cherubusco, along plank under guard.—GENERAL MARCUS J. which all the army followed, the result being WRIGHT, “General Scott," quoting Wilson's the next day the battle of Cherubusco-a "Sketches of Illustrious Soldiers." victory to our arms. When at night the rolls were called all were present or accounted He was excessively vain of his accom- for except the artillery battery of Martin plishments as a cook and specially prided Burke; and where was Martin Burke? Why, himself upon the knowledge how to make sir, he was back in that cornfield and would good bread. He spent several days in in- be there to-day had I not sent orders for structing the cook at Cozzens's Hotel, West him to come forward.”---Last speech of Gen- Point, in this art, and did not desist until eral Sherman, June, 1891. the bread was made according to his standard. -WRIGHT. On the general's invitation they sat down to his dinner table, and he went on to After the Mexican war I met General explain his idea how the war would progress Scott in Gelston's jewelry store, then occupy. from year to year. While he was talking, ing the Vesey street corner of the Astor Mr. Seward seemed to be somewhat impatient House. Advancing toward him, I inquired, and put in several little interruptions, but with a bow, “General Scott, I believe?” finally subsided and allowed General Scott “Yes, sir.” “I had the honor, sir, of design- to proceed. The general gave an outline of ing and executing the instructions of the a war lasting probably from three and a state of Louisiana in getting up the sword half to four years, but resulting in favor of of honor presented through their legislature, the Union. On the general's announcement and would be gratified to know how the de of his opinion that the Union would triumph, sign met your views as a work of art.” The Mr. Seward, rubbing his hands, inquired, general, assuming his majestic bearing, re- "Well, general, then the troubles of the fed- plied, “Admirable, sir, admirable, er-h-er-h! eral government will be at an end ?" To There was a slight mistake, sir, a slight mis- which General Scott replied, “No, gentle- take, sir.” “Ah, and wherein, general ?” men; for a long time thereafter it will re- “The inscription, sir; the inscription should quire the exercise of the full powers of the have been on the blade, sir. On the blade, not federal government to restrain the fury of on the scabbard, sir. The scabbard may be the non-combatants."-WRIGHT, quoting Rose- taken from us, the blade-never.” The sword crans. cost five hundred dollars, the chief expendi- ture being on the scabbard.—Harper's Mag- The last words which he spoke were to azine, May, 1861. his coachman: “Peter, take good care of my horse.”_WRIGHT. I reported daily and was ordered to dine with General Scott and listened to his special SEWARD, William Henry, 1801-1872. grievances and his estimate of the men who American statesman. had composed the army which conquered I relate the following anecdote as I recall peace with Mexico. On one occasion I ven- it when falling from Mr. Seward's lips, soon tured the expression, “Of all your great feats after the event. He had won distinction by in war, General, the one that arrests my his presidency over the Young Men's State attention is the one by which you made a convention, and there was a general desire in hero of Martin Burke." "Yes," he replied, ! the Adams party for his advancement. A Seward, willam I. Sheridan, General 564 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES member of Congress was to be chosen in the opened, in the midst of a profound discus- Cayuga district, but Seward did not aspire sion, and the words rang out, 'But, father, to the position. He was then twenty-seven | she is setting on one egg.' The governor years old. The party in Cayuga relied on turned round and, looking into the dilated his facile pen to draft the addresses to their eyes of the little fellow, replied, dryly, 'Well, conventions, which then filled the place of my son, I think we will let her set. Her a long string of resolutions at a later period. time is not very precious.'”—F. B. CAR- The Adams leaders in Auburn had fixed on PENTER, “Six Months in the White House." the nomination of an old and popular citi- Foote was the most persistent and in- zen, not dreaming that the approaching con- sulting of Seward's political enemies. Taking it vention would fail to accept him. It was notorious at the time that, after one for granted that he would be the candidate, of the Mississippian's most inexcusable at: young Seward wrote an address describing tacks, Seward invited him to dinner. After the nominee as an aged inhabitant of Cayuga, a senator had made an important speech who had long dwelt in the county, had filled important offices during an honorable career it was customary for him to pass around a and was revered for his years, solid attain- paper to ascertain just how many copies his colleagues desired to send out. Such a paper ments and many virtues. Having prepared the address Mr. Seward left Auburn for a in regard to a recent speech by Foote, in which Seward had been criticized with espe- distant county to try a case in court. The cial venom, was accidentally handed to the convention got into a snarl, and, after a New York senator, who promptly subscribed long contest, rejected the foreshadowed can- for more than anybody else. Foote's sur- didate and, as a last resort, compromised on Seward. In the dusk of the evening they prise and curiosity were hardly satisfied with Seward's explanation that he wanted adopted Seward's address without having copies for distribution in New York. - read it, and sent the record of the proceed. ings to the printer of the weekly newspaper, FREDERIC BANCROFT, "Life of William H. with verbal directions to insert Seward's Seward." name in the address. It was put in type Among the ready, eloquent and pungent and soon appeared. Judge of Seward's sur- orators in the Senate stood Judah P. Benja- prise and chagrin when he arrived home to min. One day, at the close of a set speech find himself not only nominated for Con on the Kansas imbroglio, he made an im- gress, but presented to the voters of Cayuga passioned and bitter attack on Seward. As as an aged inhabitant, who had long dwelt Benjamin resumed his seat, Seward rose, and, in the county, and was revered for his years turning to his assailant, said in a calm and virtues, and so on, in the glowing and indifferent tone, “Benjamin, give me a phrases of his own address. He emerged cigar and when your speech is printed send from the ridiculous position in which the me a copy.” Seward then retired to the convention placed him by peremptorily de cloak room and smoked Benjamin's cigar.- clining the nomination -H. B. STANTON, STANTON. "Random Recollections." In 1860 he visited Minnesota in com- I said something of Elliott's whole pany with Charles Francis Adams and Sena- length of him painted at the same period. tor James W. Nye. The citizens of St. An- “My experience with Elliott," he rejoined, thony, wishing to receive the distinguished “who was then in the beginning of his gentleman in a becoming manner, appointed career, was a very different affair. He a committee to meet them at Cheever Hill seemed to me like Governor Crittenden's hen.” and escort them to the Windsor House. The Laughing at the recollection, he lighted a committee repaired to the hill and, after cigar and continued: “One day the governor waiting for some time, learned that the was engaged with his council, when his little party had reached the Windsor by another boy, of five or six years, came into the route. They at once returned to the hotel chamber and said, Father, the black hen is and were introduced to Mr. Seward. The setting. 'Go away, my son,' returned the | spokesman, a lawyer of the place, after a few governor, I am very busy.' The child dis. brief remarks, said, “Mr. Seward, we are appeared but soon returned and, putting his very sorry, indeed, that we did not have the head in at the door, repeated the informa- | opportunity of escorting you into town, but tion. 'Well, well,' replied the governor, ‘you we beg to assure you that we shall take must not bother me now; let her set.' The great pleasure in escorting you out of it."- door was shut, but soon after cautiously | Harper's Magazine, September, 1871. 565 , General OF THE GREAT SheridanSewardA. , Willam This is the remark Seward is said to ligion was. To whom the Lord Shaftesbury have made in reply to Douglas, who had strait reply'd, "Madam, wise men never been indulging on the floor of the Senate in a tell." --JOHN TOLAND, "History of Material- tirade against "nigger-worshipers.” After ism." the debate and walking home with him from “People differ in their discourse and the capitol, Mr. Seward having in view Mr. professions about these matters, but men of Douglas's notorious expectation of a nomina- sense are really of but one religion.” There- tion from the Democratic party for the upon, the lady coming forward, said, “Pray, presidency, said, “Douglas, no man will ever my lord, what religion is that in which all be president of the United States who spells men of sense are agreed ?” “Madam,” says negro with two g's.”—JOHN BIGELOW, “Re. the earl, "men of sense never tell it.”— trospections of an Active Life.” BISHOP BURNET, “History of my Own Times.” Seward knew the political importance of But, eager for reputation as a man of terrapin and champagne. I was told that gallantry, he modestly yielded the palm to once on hearing that some compromisers his master. Charles (II.] having said to him were coming on a certain evening to coax him one day, “Shaftesbury, you are the most in behalf of some measure, he had a fine profligate man in my dominions,” he coolly supper prepared and, after listening to them, replied, “Of a subject, sire, I believe I am.” threw open the dining room and said to the -LORD JOHN CAMPBELL, "Lives of the Lord congressmen, “Gentlemen, let us table your Chancellors," "Shaftesbury.” motion for the present.”—MONCURE D. CON- WAY, “Autobiography and Memoirs." To a country curate, who, mistaking his home for that of the Bishop of London, in- Charles A. Dana related to the author quired for my lord and begged his blessing, the following incident, which occurred some he showed suavity, if not consideration. “I time after Seward had retired from public give it to you as the Earl of Shaftesbury and life. Dana and Seward, in the accustomed I hope it may do you as much good as my room at the Astor House, were enjoying their Lord of London's, but he lives over the way." reminiscences over a bottle of brandy when The tory victim fled with uncouth precipi- theocard of Archbishop Hughes was brought tancy from the arch-whig, who was to him up. Seward checked the conversation, or. anathema, whose dressing gown had alone dered the servant to remove the brandy and deceived him by its ecclesiastical air.-F. H. place a pitcher of ice water in its stead; FRESHFIELD, The Westminster Review, then to his guest he said, “Dana, good-by," March, 1902. and to the servant, “Let his grace enter.” SHERIDAN, Philip Henry, 1831-1888. Perhaps his best and most characteristic American general. witticism was the reply to a lady who, noticing his silence during a discussion as The work was both tedious and laborious, to the probable purpose of a secret movement but in time perseverance surmounted all ob- of troops, had asked, "Governor Seward, what stacles and the road was finished, though the do you think of it? Which way is the army grades were very steep. As soon as it was going?” “Madam, if I did not know, I completed I wished to demonstrate its value would tell you," he answered with a smile.- practically, so I started a government wagon BANCROFT. over it loaded with about fifteen hundred pounds of freight drawn by six yoke of oxen, SHAFTESBURY, Anthony Ashley Cooper, and escorted by a small detachment of sol. First Earl of, 1621-1683. Lord Chancellor diers. When it had gone about seven miles of England. the sergeant in charge came back to the post This puts me in mind of what I was told | and reported his inability to get any farther. by a near relation of the old Lord Shaftes Going out to the scene of the difficulty I bury. The latter, conferring one day with found the wagon was at the base of a steep Major Wildman about the many sects of hill, stalled. Taking up a whip myself, I religion in the world, they came to this directed them to lay on their gads, for each conclusion at last: that, notwithstanding man had supplied himself with a flexible those infinite divisions caused by the inter hickory withe in the early stages of the ests of the priests and the ignorance of the trip, to start the team, but this course did people, all wise men are of the same religion: not move the wagon nor have much effect on whereupon a lady in the room, who seemed the demoralized oxen; but, following as a to mind her needle more than their discourse, last resort an example I had heard of on a demanded with some concern what that re-l former occasion, that brought into use the 569 Sheridan, Richard B. OF THE GREAT cleared up. “Yes,” said Sheridan, "it has Moore quotes Gibbon's words on page 510 cleared up enough for one, but not enough for of the first volume of his "Memoirs of Sheri. two.”—MOORE. dan" and adds on page 511 the following Madame d'Arblay writes that Mrs. Chol. words which have been often repeated: “On being asked by some honest brother Whig, mondeley was making much sport by wishing for an acrostic on her name. "An acrostic at the conclusion of the speech, how he came on your name,” said Sheridan, “would be a to compliment Gibbon with the epithet 'lu- formidable task; it must be so long that I minous,' Sheridan answered in a half whis- think it should be divided into cantos.”_W. per, 'I said voluminous.'” Need I say that F. RAE, “Wilkes, Sheridan and Fox." Sheridan never uttered these words? Gib- bon was seated next to Dudley Long and The Prince of Wales was one night at | asked him to repeat what Sheridan actually Brooks's, talking a great deal of nonsense said about him. “Oh,” replied Dudley Long, about Darwin's [Erasmus] theory that a "he said something about your voluminous woman's bosom is thought beautiful by us pages.” Lord Russell was told this by Dud- because in our infancy we derive pleasure ley Long himself.-SIR GILBERT ELLIOT, "Life from its warmth, sustenance and repose. and Letters." It is improbable that Gibbon “Therefore,” said Sheridan acutely, “people did not see the joke, or would have recorded who have been brought up by hand grow with satisfaction a compliment which he had rapturous in after life at the very sight of neither heard nor understood.--RAE. a wooden spoon.” Fox and the prince both decided that Sherry had admirably upset His complaint was understood to have Darwin's fantastic theory.—Harper's Maga- originally risen from a tumor, for which an zine, October, 1868. operation was advised that might have saved his life, but to which he refused to submit, There is no doubt that for several years observing that he had suffered two operations before his [George IV.'s] death, whether from in his time and would not submit to a third. early indulgence in luxury or from a malady On being asked what they were, as they had inherent in his family, his mind would oc not been heard of before, he replied that he casionally wander and many anecdotes are had had his "hair cut and sat for a picture.” current about the unfortunate impressions -WILLIAM JERDAN, “Autobiography.” under which he labored. After the glorious termination of the long Continental war in Nor did his fine sense of humor desert 1815 by the battle of Waterloo, it would | him even when he lay dying. In the bare hall not perhaps be unpardonable vanity in him to which bailiffs laid siege and where duns to have thought that the English nation had hid in ambush, he ordered a placard to be mainly contributed to the great event; but | placed with this inscription, “I know your he certainly at times arrogated to himself necessities before you state them and your personally the glory of subduing Napoleon's ignorance in asking."—WALTER SICHEL, power and giving peace to the world. It was upon one of these assumptions being re- His Practical Jokes ported to the sarcastic Sheridan that he archly remarked, “That is all well enough, He was more of an original in practical but what he particularly piques himself upon jokes than in anything else, although these, is the last productive harvest.”-THOMAS too, were often coarse and often cruel. Wit- RAIKES, Journal, November 4, 1836. ness his drawing his friend Tickell into a dark room, which Sheridan had previously Dean Ogle died in January, 1804, aged filled with crockery, and getting him to stum- seventy-eight, when Mrs. Sheridan inherited ble, and cut himself in various places—Tick- some addition to her fortune, connected with ell, indeed, “consoling himself by remember. which is a pleasant story told by Creevy to ing, while lying in bed covered with patches, Sydney Smith. "When dining with Sheri- that the trick was so well done.”—GEORGE dan, after the ladies had departed, he drew GILFILLAN, Harper's Magazine, January, 1854. the chair to the fire, and confided to Creevy that they had just had a fortune left to them. O'Byrne [bishop of Meath) was with me Mrs. Sheridan and I,' said he, ‘have made at Heston. It was on a Saturday and we a solemn vow to each other to mention it to asked him to preach the next day. To this no one, and nothing induces me to confide it he consented on condition that I write the to you but the absolute conviction that Mrs. sermon. I agreed and, after the party broke Sheridan is at this moment confiding it to up, sat down to my task. My sermon was Mrs. Creevy upstairs.”-FITZGERALD. in praise of liberality; and, opening the New Sheridan Sheridan, Richard B. 570 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Testament, I selected such passages as recom many of the most virtuous and noble charac- mended that virtue; but I confess that, ters recorded in our history have been where the texts did not appear to me quite lawyers. I am sorry, however, to add, that strong or applicable enough, I took a liberty some of the greatest rascals also have been with the Apostles and slightly bent them to lawyers; but of all the rascals of lawyers my purpose. The next morning O'Byrne re I ever heard of the greatest is one T., who ceived the sermon and took it to church. The lives in Lincoln's Inn Fields." "I am Mr. Childs of Osterley were there and O'Byrne T.," said the gentleman. “And I am Mr. directed his discourse to their pew. It so Sheridan," was the reply. The jest was in- happened that old Mr. Childs was at that stantly seen; they shook hands and instead time exceedingly unpopular on account of of voting against the facetious orator, the prosecuting some poor parishioners for carry. lawyer exerted himself warmly in promoting ing away garden stuff that had been thrown his election.—New Monthly Magazine, Oc- over the wall. Of this neither I nor O'Byrne tober, 1817. knew anything; but as our parson, out of Mr. Wilberforce, not given to reporting politeness, kept his eye fixed upon the great gossip or scandal, records the following: man, he and his family were convinced that Michael Angelo Taylor was left a good for- the lecture against parsimony was intended tune by his father, who was a builder, and for the owner of Osterley. Accordingly, the he got on by having a good cook and giving incumbent called upon O'Byrne and told him excellent dinners. I remember Sheridan his patron would never forgive him, adding playing off on him one of his amusing tricks. that if O'Byrne had quoted the Apostles fair- He did not know where to go for dinner, so, ly he might have been justified; but he had sitting down by Michael Angelo, he said, garbled them in order to apply their re- “There is a law question to arise presently, proaches to Mr. Child. O'Byrne, looking into on which, from your legal knowledge, you his Bible, found out the trick and complained will be wanted to reply to Pitt; so I hope of it to Mr. Fox, who said, "I wish to heaven you will not think of leaving the House." you fellows would mind what you are about Michael sat still with no little pleasure, while instead of quizzing one another."-LORD Sheridan slipped out, walked over to Mi. BROUGITON, “Recollections," quoting Sheri- chael's house and ordered up dinner, saying to dan. the servants, “Your master is not coming Mr. Sheridan, coming up to town in one home this evening." He made an excellent of the public coaches, for the purpose of dinner, came back to the House, and, seeing canvassing Westminster, at the time when Michael looking expectant, went to release Mr. Paull was his opponent, found him him, saying: “I am sorry to have kept you, self in company with two electors. In the for after all I believe this matter will not course of conversation one of them asked the come on to-night.” Michael immediately other to whom he meant to give his vote. walked home and heard, to his no little con- When his friend replied, “To Paull, certain sternation, when he rang for dinner: "Mr. ly; for though I think him but a shabby | Sheridan had it, sir, about two hours ago.”— sort of fellow, I would vote for any one FITZGERALD. rather than that rascal Sheridan.” “Do you In Financial Straits know Sheridan?” asked the stranger. "No, sir," answered the gentleman, "nor should I Even in his boyhood days his debts, as wish to know him.” The conversation he assured his father, were “contracted to dropped here, but when the party alighted get rid of former obligations," and he adds for breakfast, Sheridan called aside the other characteristically, "there is no inconvenience gentleman and said, “Pray, who is that very of a debt which I have felt more than the agreeable friend of yours? He is one of the necessity of sometimes adding to it.” pleasantest fellows I ever met with and I “Thank God, that's settled,” he is report- should be glad to know his name.” “His ed to have said as he pushed over an I O U. name is Mr. T., and he is an eminent lawyer and resides at Lincoln's Inn Fields." Break- A long-suffering creditor importuned him fast over, the party resumed their seats in to name a date for payment. “Certainly; the coach; soon after which Sheridan turned the day of judgment; but no, stay, that is & the discourse to the law. “It is,” said he, busy day-make it the day after.”-SICHEL. "a fine profession. Men may rise from it The duke said that at one time, when to the highest eminence in the state; and it | Sheridan rented a house in Bruton street, I gives vast scope to the display of talent; I believe, the owner found that he could get 571 Sheridan, Richard B. OF THE GREAT neither his rent nor induce Sheridan by any chased an estate (Polesden) in Surrey, of means to go. At length, as his only re | Sir William Geary, and neglected to pay for course, he unroofed the house. “This,” said it. Sir William mentioned this circumstance the duke, “I had from Mrs. Sheridan."-LORD to Mr. Butler; and the English language has STANHOPE, "Conversations with Wellington." not an expression of abuse or opprobrium, which Sir William did not apply to Sheri- One night he was stopped by foot pads, dan. He then marched off in a passion; but in company with Challie, the wine merchant. “My friend can accommodate you," said he had not walked ten paces before he met Mr. to the fellows; "and, as for myself, I will Sheridan. Mr. Butler expected a furious tell you what I can do. I can give you my onset, but nothing like this took place. In note of hand.”-H. B. BAKER, The Gentle- ten minutes Sir William returned, exclaim- ing: “Mr. Sheridan is the finest fellow man's Magazine, September, 1878. I ever met with; I will tease him no more for Lord John (Russell] told us a good trick money.”—JOHN TIMBS, “Century of Anec- of Sheridan's upon Richardson. Sheridan had dotes.” been driving out three or four hours in a hackney coach, when, seeing Richardson pass, Arbuthnot told us how, when Sheridan he hailed him and made him get in. He in was concerned in the management of a theater stantly contrived to introduce a topic upon and owed Mrs. Siddons a great deal of money, which Richardson (who was the very soul she went to him one morning with a friend of disputatiousness) always differed with and entered the house, leaving this gentleman him, and at last, affecting to be mortified at to walk up and down the street, and telling Richardson's arguments, said: “You are him that she had quite made up her mind really too bad. I cannot bear to listen to not to leave the house without her money. such things. I will not stay in the same After a long interval she came out again coach with you," and accordingly got down quite rayonnant. “Well," said her friend, and left him. “Ah, you're beat, you're beat," "I hope you have succeeded.” “Yes, indeed Richardson roared triumphantly after him. | I have.” “Well, how was it?” “Why, you Nor was it until the heat of his victory see we had a great deal of conversation to- had cooled that he found that he was left gether-he showed me that he is under great in the lurch to pay for Sheridan's three difficulties; however, he has positively under- hours' coaching.-MOORE. taken to pay me the whole debt next week, provided in the meantime I advance him fifty Kelly and Sheridan were crossing the pounds. This I have done; so you see I road along the churchyard of St. Paul's, have attained my object." Such were Sheri- Covent Garden, which then led from King dan's powers of persuasion.-STANHOPE. street to Henrietta street, when up rode Holloway, the lawyer, furious at having been A friend of his told me that one morn- denied admittance. Sheridan immediately ing, while waiting for him in his study, he began to admire the horse, for a judgment in cast his eyes over the heap of unopened let- horseflesh was Holloway's weakness. When ters that lay on the table, and, seeing one or the flattered attorney asked whether Mrs. two with coronets on their seals, said to Mr. Sheridan would not like such a mount, Sheri- Westley, the treasurer, who was present: “I dan replied that he might stretch a point if see we are all treated alike.” Mr. Westley Holloway would show him the animal's paces. then informed him that he had once found, Off trotted Holloway, as proud as a peacock, on looking over this table, a letter which he and away ambled Sheridan, as pleased as had himself sent a few weeks before to Mr. Punch.-SICHEL, citing Kelly's reminiscences. Sheridan, enclosing a ten-pound note, to re- Shaw, the band conductor, whom Sheri- lease him from some inn, but which Sheri- dan had often helped, once demanded the re- dan, having raised the supplies in some turn of five hundred pounds. Sheridan re other way, had never thought of opening. taliated by requesting twenty-five pounds for The prudent treasurer took away the letter an important errand and met his friend's an- and reserved the enclosure for some future ger with: “My dear fellow, hear reason. The exigency.—MOORE. sum you ask me for is a very considerable He resided during several years in Bruton one, whereas I only ask you to lend me twen. street, Berkley Square, where the house was ty-five pounds."-MOORE. frequently so beset with duns and bailiffs Frequently he disarmed those who ap that even the provisions requisite for the proached him with savageness and a deter- family were introduced over the iron railing mined resolution to insult him. He had pur- | down the area. In the course of the year Sheridan, Richard B. Sherman, General 572 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES SHERMAN, John, 1823-1900. American statesman. He used occasionally to ask me to go to ride with him. One hot summer afternoon Mr. Sherman said: “Let us go over and see the new electric railroad,” to which I agreed. That was then a great curiosity. It was perhaps the first street railroad, certainly the first in Washington, which had electricity for its motive power. Mr. Sherman told his driver to be careful. He said the horses were very much terrified by the electric cars. I said: "I suppose they are like the labor reformers. They see contrivances for doing without their labor and they get very angry and manifest their displeasure.” Mr. Sher- man pondered for a moment or two and then said with great seriousness: "Mr. Hoar, the horse is a very intelligent animal, but it really does not seem to me that he can reason as far as that.” I told the general of it afterwards, who was full of fun, and asked him if he really believed his brother thought I made that remark seriously, to which he replied that he had no doubt of it; that John never had the slightest conception of a jest.-GEORGE F. HOAR, “Autobiog- raphy." 1786, while living there, he entertained at dinner a number of the opposition leaders, though he labored at that time under al- most insurmountable financial embarrass- ments. All his plate, as well as his books, were lodged in pawn. Ilaving, nevertheless, procured from the pawnbroker an assur- ance of the liberation of his plate for that day, he applied to Beckett, the celebrated bookseller in Pall Mall, to fill his empty bookcases. Beckett not only agreed to the proposition, but promised to ornament the vacant shelves with some of the most ex- pensive and splendid productions of the Brit- ish press, provided that two men, expressly sent for the purpose by himself, should be present to superintend their immediate reg. toration. It was settled finally that these librarians of Beckett's appointment should put on liveries for the occasion and wait on the table. The company having assem- bled, were shown into an apartment, where, the bookcases being opened for the purpose, they had leisure before dinner was served to admire the elegance of Sheridan's literary taste and the magnificence of his collec- tion. But, as all machinery is liable to accidents, so in this instance a failure had nearly taken place, which must have proved fatal to the entertainment. When everything was ready for serving the dinner, it hap- pened, either from the pawnbroker's distrust or from some unforeseen delay on his part, the spoons and forks had not arrived. Re- peated messages were despatched to hasten them and they at last made their appear- ance; but so critically and so late, that there not being time left to clean them, they were thrown into hot water and instantly laid on the table. The evening passed in the most joyous and festive manner. Beckett himself related these circumstances to Sir John Macpherson.-N. W. WRAXALL, "Me. moirs.” Everyone has heard the story about Sheridan's dinner party, at which the sheriff's officers acted as waiters. On its being men- tioned as apocryphal at Brockett, “Not at all,” exclaimed Lord Palmerston, “I was at it. Sheridan, Canning, Frere and some oth- ers, including myself, had agreed to form a society (projected, you may remember, by Swift) for the improvement of the English language. We were to give dinners in turn; Sheridan gave the first and my attention was attracted to the peculiarity of the attendance by the frequent appeals on the part of the improvised servants to 'Mr. Sheridan.'”_ Fraser's Magazine, December, 1865. SHERMAN, William Tecumseh, 1820-1891. American general. After his graduation from West Point, ca. dets not being in immediate demand, William T. Sherman took up the study of the law and, after being admitted to practise, was taken into partnership by his cousin, General Thomas Ewing, the first chief justice of Kan. sas, who is now practising law in New York. This was at Leavenworth, Kansas. Soon after the formation of the new law firm, a little case in a justice's court came into the office and Sherman was sent out to try it. The trial was before a justice of the peace. Sherman's opponent was a pettifogger of the lowest type, with but little knowl- edge of law or justice, but with a ready tongue and an adept in the quips and tech- nicalities of the police court practise. The result was that Sherman was badly beaten, when the facts and law were all in his favor. Unspeakable disgust took possession of the young counselor and, returning to the law office, he left the following note on his part- ner's desk: “Thomas Ewing, Dear Sir- The law firm of Ewing & Sherman is this day dissolved. I am going into some other busi- ness. W. T. Sherman.”—Albany Law Jour- nal, June 27, 1891, quoting The New York Mail and Erpress, 573 Sheridan, Richard B. OF THE GREAT Sherman, General The morning he left (1860, when he was in the leg, but I can go to the hospital; send president of the Louisiana State Seminary | the cartridges right away.” Even where we and Military Academy) he had the battalion stood the shot fell thick and I told him to formed. Stepping out in front of them, he go to the rear at once, I would attend to the made them a short talk and, then passing cartridges, and off he limped. Just before along the line, right to left, bade each and he disappeared over the hill he turned and every officer and man-not a dry eye among called as loud as he could: “Caliber 54.” I them-an affectionate farewell. Then, ap have not seen the boy since, and his colonel, proaching our sad group of professors, he Walmbourg, on inquiry, gives me his ad- silently shook our hands, attempted to speak, dress as above, and says he is a bright, intel- broke down and, with tears trickling down ligent boy, with a fine preliminary education. his cheeks, with another effort, he could What arrested my attention then was-and only lay his hand on his heart and say: what renews my memory of the fact now is- "You are all here.” Then, turning quickly that one so young, carrying a musketball on his heel, he left us, to be forever in our wound through his leg, should have found hearts.-D. F. BOYD, The American College, his way to me on that fatal spot, and de- April, 1910. livered his message, not forgetting the very Sherman is an inveterate smoker. He important part, even, of the caliber of the musket, which you know is an unusual one. smokes as he does everything else, with an -BOWMAN & IRWIN, "Sherman and his Cam- energy which it would be supposed would paigns.” deprive him of all the pleasure of smoking. ... Sherman smokes furiously, as if his Early one morning a regiment of troops cigars were of the worst character of "penny passed Sherman's quarters or bivouac, near grabs” and would not draw. He snatches it Kenesaw mountain, and saw him lying under frequently, and one might say furiously, from a tree near the roadside. One of the men, his mouth, brushing the ashes off with his not knowing the general, and supposing him forefinger. He continually paces the floor to be drunk, remarked aloud: “That is the while smoking, generally deep in thought on way we are commanded, officered by drunken important matters, doubtless; but a looker major-generals.” Sherman heard the remark on would imagine that he was endeavoring and instantly arose. “Not drunk, my boy," to solve the question of how to draw smoke he said good-humoredly, “but I was up all through his cigar. IIe seldom or never fin- night and am very tired and sleepy." ishes it, leaving at least of it a stump. When he used to frequent the Associated He had a pleasant way of rising up in Press rooms in Louisville in 1861, he would full sight of the enemy's batteries accompa- often accumulate and leave upon the agent's nied by his staff. Here he neld us while he table as many as eight or ten of these stumps, criticized the manner in which the enemy got which the porter of the rooms used to call his guns ready to open on us. Presently a “Sherman's Old Soldiers.”—Harper's Maga shell would whizz over our heads, followed by zine, April, 1865. another somewhat nearer. Sherman would then quietly remark: “They are getting the The circumstances which form the range now; you had better scatter.” As a groundwork for some of Whittier's finest rule we did not wait for a second order.- verses are thus related, in an official despatch COLONEL HOFFMAN, “Camp, Court and to the secretary of war, dated August 8th, Siege.” 1863: I take the liberty of asking through you that something be done for a young lad The idea generally prevails that com. named Orion P. Howe, of Waukegan, Illinois, manding generals are very didactic on the who belongs to the Fifty-fifth Illinois, but battle-field and give their orders in precise is at present at his home wounded. I think language and stentorian voice. A little famil- he is too young for West Point, but would iarity with actual warfare will soon dispel be the very thing for a midshipman. When this false impression in any one who sees the assault on Vicksburg was at its height, Sherman on the battle-field. At Chattanooga on the 19th of May, and I was on foot near he gave his orders for his advance to his the road which formed the line of attack, this brother-in-law, General Ewing, in the words, young lad came up to me wounded and bleed- | uttered between two puff's of a bad cigar: ing, with a good healthy boy's cry: "General | "I guess, Ewing, if you are ready, you might Sherman, send some cartridges to Colonel as well go ahead.” Ewing asked a few ques- Walmbourg; the men are all out.” “What tions in regard to retaining the echelon for. is the matter with my boy?" "They shot me | mation of his command as then marshaled 575 , Abbé OF THE GREAT SieyèsSherman, General man turned to Moore for relief, but that gen writing letters, etc. I rang for my breakfast tleman was busy in examining the landscape and after the remnants of my repast were as an aid to keep his face straight. When cleared away I seated myself at a table with that was accomplished, he turned about and the writing desk I always carry with me gravely said: "By the way, general, I don't and began to answer a score or more of believe I have one about the premises and letters. In the midst of my writing I heard you had better take the one Howard has pre a brass band coming down the street. I lis. pared.” Moore was something of a joker tened. Yes; it was that old air, “Marching himself and knew a joke when he saw one. Through Georgia.” Here was an end to my Sherman was a soldier to the backbone and quietness. It was evident that someone would not stand retreat in the face of an had found me out. I got up, put on an old enemy. When Howard came up with the uniform and sat down and waited. The glasses he bravely took them and swallowed band came nearer and it was all I could do the foaming stuff. But he never again com to keep my feet still. I waited for the band plained of needing medicine when in How to stop. They neared the hotel-and what? ard's tent.--THOMAS C. FLETCHER, “Life and Well, they went prancing past the house and Reminiscences of General William T. Sher down the street, the music fading away in man." the distance. There was something wrong here evidently. I took off my uniform, put During the Indian war in 1882 General on another suit of clothes and went down Sherman paid a visit to Camp Apache, in to interview the proprietor. I found him Arizona. While there a huge redskin, who sitting in solitary magnificence in an inside was captain of the scouts, followed the gen- room. He looked at me without rising. eral wherever he went and repeatedly begged “Good morning," I said. “Good morning," as a present one of the small cannon stand- he returned. A pause. “I heard a band on ing on the parade ground. Finally the gen- the streets a few minutes ago. Anything of eral turned impatiently to the Indian, ex- special importance going on here to-day?” claiming: “What do you want of the cannon “A band? Oh, yes; they're bound for the anyway? Do you want to kill my soldiers picnic.” “A picnic? What, in this rain?” with it?" "No," replied the Indian in his I forgot to say it was raining and did dur- guttural voice, “want to kill cowboys with it; kill soldiers with ing most of my stay in Ireland. "Oh, that's a club.”—Harper's nothing,” said the landlord. “It rains here Magazine, October, 1883. most of the time.” “Do you remember what He once took great offense at having his they were playing? The air sounded famil- manners, and particularly his habit of gruff iar.” “Yes.” “It sounded like an American ness, compared to the manners of a Pawnee march.” “An American march! Humph! It Indian and expressed his contempt for the was an old Irish air. I first heard it when author of the slur in a public manner. He a boy. All the bands in Dublin play it as was much chagrined shortly after to find a march nowadays.” I returned to my room that the correspondent who had been guilty and finished my letters.-- FLETCHER, quoting of the offensive comparison had heard of Sherman. his contemptuous criticism and had amended it by publicly apologizing to the whole race SIÉYÈS, Emmanuel Joseph, Count of, 1748- of Pawnees.--Harper's Magazine, April, 1865. 1836. French statesman. Once I remember he asked my opinion M. Mignot relates of him that, on being about something. I gave it and then began asked what he did during the Reign of Ter- to give my reasons, when he stopped me ror, he made answer, “I lived.”—The Quar- with this remark: “I only wanted your terly Review, April, 1861. opinion; I didn't ask for your reasons and, The prince [Talleyrand] was fond of remember, never give reasons for what you telling a story apropos of Sieyès, illustrat- think or do until you must. Maybe, after a while a better reason will pop into your ing the theory of great results from little causes. He was one day walking with him head.” — Boyd. through the Tuileries, when, just opposite to I arrived in Dublin late one night and, the gate in the Place de la Concorde, a little as I hoped, unknown. I was tired out and beggar girl, leading an old woman on made for the first hotel in sight. The next crutches, came up to solicit alms. Sieyès morning I awoke rather late, but with the gave her a sou, which, in her hurry to seize, pleasant feeling that, as nobody know of my she let fall and the coin rolled under the coming, I could pass the day as I pleased, | hoofs of a charger mounted by a garde du Sieyès, Abbé Stanton, Edwin M, WIT576 Tm TITATOM AN AND FOIBLES , WISDOM corps at the gate. The child pressed forward as he spoke. The man saluted and replied, to pick it up, but each time that she stooped, "I cannot, your excellency.” “But I want to almost at the risk of her life, the soldier, see if it is clean,” persisted the general. “I apparently glad to divert the ennui of sen cannot, your excellency,” again said the sen- try by an event of this kind, spurred the try, as firm as a rock. Skoboleff smiled, animal to one side, and the wretched little pulled his ears and walked on. I asked an ex- girl, to avoid being crushed to death, was planation, whereupon he said that a rule of compelled to withdraw, to renew her en war with him was that no sentry on duty deavors again as soon as the beast stood was on any account to give up possession of still, but each time with as little success as | his arms—not even to the czar himself. before. The whole scene the terror of the “But," I said, "suppose the sentry had child-the overboiling wrath of the old crip- | handed you his rifle when you were seeming- ple and the insolent and cruel mirth of the | ly so serious in asking it. What then?" garde du corps--presented altogether a most "He would have been shot," quietly replied exciting spectacle, and, combined with the the general, "for disobedience of orders in angry passions of the crowd, who were not time of war."-W. KINNAIRD ROSE, The slow to take the part of the child, formed Fortnightly Review, July, 1882. a picture not easily forgotten. Sieyès, find- He was reconnoitering the Turkish posi- ing that the people were growing angry, tion while the shots were thundering at his thought it best to put an end to the scene ears. “Why do you expose yourself thus at once; so, giving the girl a double sou, he wantonly?" an officer asked him reproach- bade her begone, which injunction she im- fully. “I must let my men see, you know, mediately obeyed, and the crowd forthwith that the Turks do not know how to fire.” dispersed. But Sieyès remained thoughtful and preoccupied during the whole evening; The commanding officers of companies and, when he parted with his friend, said: and battalions were expected to look after "I have been thinking over the occurrence the provisioning of the men. “But they may we witnessed together this morning. Some embezzle," a partizan of the commissariat de- thing must be done for the people. When partment once suggested. “Who—the com- they have an army of their own, they will manding officer? that is no business of mine." not run the risk of being insulted by hired “But how no business of yours?" "Of course mercenaries.” This was the very first idea not. If my men get as much bread and meat, which had ever entered a human brain re tea and brandy as they want; if there are no specting the formation of a national guard. complaints lodged against my officers; if the Once started, the idea found favor with all inhabitants of the district are satisfied- the disaffected. Siéyès himself planned and let them embezzle—what do I care ?"_V. I. invented the project and by dint of perse- NEMIROVITCH DANTCHENKO, “Personal Remi- verance got it accepted some long time after niscences of Skoboleff.” wards. Little did the proud Garde Nationale, SOULT, Jean de Dieu Nicolas, Duke of Dal. when they marched to the frontier-when matia, 1769-1851. French marshal. they dictated laws to the country-when they In a battle where a strong position was barricaded Paris-dream that they owed their existence and creation to a half-penny which to be carried by some of his troops, who had been repulsed several times and were a starving beggar wench found it hard to hesitating about obeying a new order to pick out of the gutter.-M. COLMACHE, “Reminiscences of Prince Talleyrand.” attack, Soult went to the front and called out to the soldiers: “You are afraid. What SKOBOLEFF, Michael Dimitrivich, 1841 have you to lose? You can only win. You 1882. Russian general. are nothing and have nothing. I am a mar. An illustration of the discipline of his shal of France; I have two hundred thou- corps occurs to me. I had been talking with sand francs a year; I can gain nothing, but may lose all-yet I am not afraid. Forward, him about military breechloaders and dis- cussing the merits of various systems. Tak- follow me.” And he led the way and won the battle.-Blackwood's Edinburgh Maga- ing a Berdan, with which the troops were latterly armed, from a soldier he undid the zine, August, 1878. breech and lock and explained the mechanism The whole nation, with and without with the precision of a locksmith. Returning taste, fêted and applauded Marshal Soult as the rifle to the soldier he turned and, walking if he had possessed the genius to paint his up to a sentry a few paces distant, he said, Murillos, or at least had come by them hon- "Let me see your rifle”-extending his hand | estly. . .. I cannot but admire the ingenuity 577 Sieyès, Abbé OF THE GREAT Stanton, Edwin M. with which one connoisseur worked off dis ter's chest and borrowed a saw and an ax, gust at the transaction and turned it into took a stick of cordwood, split and cut it gratification. “I always,” said he, "look at up, sat down on the capstan and with his those pictures with extraordinary pleasure, pocketknife shaved out a set of splints, went because they saved some lives." "Saved some to his stateroom and, without saying "by lives?” said a friend to this philanthropist. your leave," took the sheet from his bed, “Yes; it was known that they were con tore it up into bandages and rollers, ordered cealed—the monks had ropes about their a few sturdy sailors into the service to necks—were on the point of being hanged extend the limb, reduced the broken bone -the pictures were discovered and the lives and applied the splints and bandages, then were saved."-Blackwood's Edinburgh Maga. went to the cook room and ordered a jug zine, October, 1852. of vinegar and water to steep the broken limb, sat down beside the sufferer, watched He was once breakfasting with Berthier him and bathed the limb till the boat ar- and the latter's aide-de-camp-a grave young rived at Pittsburg, a distance of ninety miles, man who did not utter a word during the and then hired a hack to convey him home. meal. Afterwards, while coffee was being -WILLIAM JOHNSTON, address before the taken, a discussion arose between the mar- Supreme Court of the District of Columbia, shals as to the color of the facings in a cer- January 3, 1870. tain regiment during the consulate. Berthier pointed to his aide-de-camp: “There's Valentine Owesney, a provision merchant Garaud can tell us; he served in that very of Steubenville, was robbed of about five regiment," and the officer thus appealed to hundred dollars in cash. A certain charac- pronounced against Soult by the one word ter was suspected, arrested and put upon “red.” Years later Garaud's name was men trial. He was defended by Stanton and ac- tioned before Soult, upon which the veteran quitted and immediately afterwards disap- remarked coolly: “Ah, I remember Garaud; peared. Shortly after his disappearance he's a chatterbox.”—Temple Bar, August, Stanton walked into Owesney's store, and, 1883. throwing down three hundred dollars in cash, observed that now he had paid what he had STANTON, Edwin McMasters, 1814-1869. been owing. Owesney, an honest German, American statesman. was non plussed, for Stanton owed him noth- “While gathering his natural history mu- | ing, and inquired the meaning of the per- seum Eddie Stanton learned how to train formance. Stanton explained that the man snakes,” says Louis Anderson, of Steuben arrested for robbing the store and acquitted ville; "in fact, he became a snake charmer, was really guilty. "I cleared him," said he, and many children were afraid of him. "got back the money and sent him out of Once he came into our house with a couple the country. I gave him fifty dollars to of large snakes wound about his neck. travel on; about one hundred dollars was Mother screamed and the children fled. used in the expenses of the trial; I have Father rushed in to see what had happened kept fifty dollars as my fee and here is the and, finding Ed with the horrible snakes remainder, which is your share.” squirming about him, hustled him out into the street.”-FRANK A. FLOWER, National Dr. B. Mears, a physician of Steuben- Magazine, December, 1900. ville, reported that he had delivered Rectina McKinley, spinster, of a child. Stanton, in In speaking of this peculiarity of the her behalf, brought suit against the doctor man a few years ago, a gentleman informed for slander, recovering one thousand dollars me that while Mr. Stanton made his home | damages. Shortly after the money was due in Steubenville and practised law in Pitts on execution, but previous to its payment, burg, passing backward and forward by William Ralston, a thrifty bachelor, married steamboat, he had known him one evening, Miss McKinley. After the marriage Ralston when he came on board at Steubenville, to called on Stanton. “Well, Bill," said Stan- find a poor Irishman who had fallen through ton, who knew him well, "you married Rec- a hatchway and broken his leg, lying in the tina and you have a good wife.” “Yes, I forecastle without any one to take care of believe I have; and I am calling to see if him. He asked the captain what it meant you have collected the Mears claim.” “Yes, and was informed that the Irishman lived Billy, it is all paid in. You now have a in Pittsburg and that when he got there good wife. I have proved to all the world he would have his broken leg attended to that she is without a blemish. I charged Without more ado he went to the carpen. I only one thousand dollars for sending her P Stanton, Edwin M. Stephens, Alexander H. 578 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES W out of court with a good character. A judg. A friend said to him near the close of ment for one thousand dollars as a bait to the war: "How was it that you succeeded in catch a good husband, such as I believe supplying this vast army throughout this you to be, is cheap, cheap as dirt." So he great extent of country, whether in the camp kept the one thousand dollars.-FRANK A. or in the field, with all that they needed for FLOWER, "Edwin McMasters Stanton.” comfort and support?” “Sir,” said Stanton, "I will tell you how I managed in one in- The only relaxation Stanton indulged in stance and you can infer the rest. A day while secretary was characteristic of the or two after I was installed in office a tele- amiability of his nature. Every morning gram came from Harper's Ferry urging that he appeared on the street with a basket on several large guns be sent there that day. his arm, intent upon doing 'his own mar. I at once sent an order to the arsenal for keting. On this important occasion he was the guns. Being busied in my office all day, wont to throw aside the cares of his of I went after office hours to the arsenal to see ficial position. He walked slowly and, if whether the order had been filled. I found ever when out of doors, he indulged in a the arsenal closed and nobody in attendance. moment of gossip, or gave expression to the Looking up a subordinate, I found that no language of courtesy, it was on this journey guns had been sent. After having tried in to and from market. Having selected his vain to find the keys, I had the door broken dealer, he gave the man his patronage and open, helped drag the guns out, accompanied this person was probably the only man in them to the railway, saw them put on the Washington who had no hesitation in say train, had an engine fired up and those guns ing what he pleased to Mr. Stanton, with went that night to Harper's Ferry.” The the certainty of being patiently listened to next morning the incumbent, not knowing of and getting a kind answer in return.--Har this action, went into the war office and per's Magazine, October, 1872. said: "It was not convenient, Mr. Secretary, to despatch those guns yesterday, but if you When in the winter of 1863 the faithless think it is at all urgent, I will attend to it legislature of Indiana was dissolved, no at once this morning." Said Stanton: “The appropriation had been made to carry on guns are now at Harper's Ferry, and you, the state government or aid in putting sol. sir, are no longer in the service of the United diers in the field, and General Morton was States government."-REV. DR. THOMPSON, obliged, without the authority of law, to address at Union League Club, New York raise more than a million and a quarter of City, December 30, 1869. dollars. In his need he looked to Washing- The Secretary of the Interior, looking ton for assistance. President Lincoln wished to aid him, but saw no way to do it, as over to where the Secretary of War sat, no money could be taken from the treasury said he had a young friend whom he wished to have appointed a paymaster in the army. without appropriation. He was referred to “How old is he?” asked Stanton gruilly. Mr. Stanton. The secretary saw at a glance “About twenty-one," answered the Secretary the critical situation in which the patriotic of the Interior; "he is of good family and governor, who had shown vigor in raising and organizing troops, had been placed. A an excellent character.” “Usher," was the quarter of a million dollars were needed and reply, “I wouldn't appoint the Angel Gabriel Stanton took upon himself the responsibil- a paymaster, if he were only twenty-one.”— F. B. CARPENTER, "Six Months in the White ity and drew his warrant upon the treasury for that amount, to be paid from an un- House.” expended appropriation made nearly two A subordinate, to deal comfortably with years before for raising troops in states in the War Secretary, had to be a mere cipher, insurrection. As he placed this warrant so dictatorial and despotic was he. I re- in Governor Morton's hands, the latter re- | member when summoned before him as Judge marked: “If the cause fails you and I will | Advocate of the commission called to inves- be covered with prosecutions and probably tigate the conduct of General Don Carlos imprisoned and driven from the country." Buell in Tennessee, I ventured to say: "That Mr. Stanton replied: "If the cause fails, I is all very well, Mr. Secretary, but I'd like do not wish to live.” The money thus ad- to know where you find a law to sanction vanced to the governor of Indiana was ac such a court as this.” “My noble Captain," counted for by the state in its final set- replied the secretary, his short upper lip tlement with the government.--HENRY WIL slightly curling, and with that gleam of SON, "Edwin M. Stanton." his white teeth and dark eyes making an ex- 579 Stanton, Edwin M. Stephens, Alexander H. OF THE GREAT pression anything but comfortable, "you are | STEPHENS, Alexander Hamilton, 1812- commissioned to obey orders and not to study 1883. American statesman. law, for it is rather late in life for you to His second "court” after his admission begin that. When I need a legal adviser it to the bar was in Washington, Georgia. is not likely that I will call on Judge Piatt. There were then no railroads nor stages be- If I am to be met here with the quibble of tween those two towns. He had no horse a country court lawyer I will find some and was too proud to try and borrow one other officer.” The sarcasm stung, for I had where he lived. The whole distance was been placed on the bench at twenty-five, as beyond his strength, should he undertake it Salmon P. Chase said, that I might have an on foot. He walked to his uncle's, which was opportunity to learn something of my pro about ten miles, or half the distance, and a fession.- DON PIATT, The North American little out of the way, carrying his saddle- Review, May, 1886. bags with a change of clothes on his shoul- On the day when Johnson appointed ders. He walked at night in order to avoid Adjutant General Thomas to be secretary the July sun and rested on wayside stones. of war ad interim, he directed the latter The uncle loaned him a horse and he pro- to demand and take possession of the of- ceeded the next morning. The change of fice. General Thomas, when he started on clothes consisted of a pair of thin, white this mission, requested a young officer on cotton "pants,” of cheap material, suitable duty in the office, Lieutenant Gage, who had to the season and starched into the appear- served through the war, to accompany him. ance of linen. That he might enter the town Gage was in full accord with the policy of and court room as decent as possible he dis- Congress, but could not well decline to mounted near the suburbs and, doffing the go with his chief. He (now General Gage) somewhat worn unmentionables with which has been a resident of Nebraska a long time he had set out, put on the white ones in- stead and so attended the court in white and was adjutant general of the state till "pants." They were taken off with equal care a year or two ago. He was an eye-witness when he again rode out of town. Such were to what transpired between the secretary the early straits of the Confederate vice-presi- and the adjutant general and described the dent-Stephens.--Harper's Magazine, Sep- scene to me a few days ago. General Thomas tember, 1869. entered the office and inquired for Mr. Stan- ton, who was in his private apartment. The After one of his speeches in the con- messenger took his card in and Mr. Stanton gressional campaign of 1843, according to replied: “Let him come.” The messenger his own account, an old man bluntly re- then said to him: “Walk in.” But as Gen- marked to him: “Well, if I had been put in this road to shoot a smart man, you would eral Thomas opened the door the secretary have passed safe, sure." Another old man, at once confronted him and stayed his fur- after a bystander had pointed out Stephens ther entrance. Standing a moment, awaiting to him, lifted up his hands in astonishment, an invitation to a seat, which did not come, exclaiming: “Good Lord!” A strange lady Thomas offered a paper to the secretary and addressed him as “buddy” and urged him was saying: "The president has directed me to go and hear the speech of “that smart to take possession of—" when Stanton, man, Stephens.” ... To be mistaken for a with electrical quickness, clapped a hand boy was almost a daily occurrence, but be- upon each shoulder of the invader and whirled fore the campaign was over the “boy” of him around so suddenly that he might have thirty-one was known as the best-informed supposed a catapult had struck him; then man in the Georgia Whig party.-LOUIS with a strong push he sent him through PENDLETON, “Alexander H. Stephens.” the open door. The only words uttered by Being fatigued on his arrival at the the secretary were: “Get out of here." hotel, Mr. Stephens availed himself of a General Thomas did not stand upon the comfortable sofa or lounge and made the order of his going but went at once. That situation as easy as possible. His two was the last effort he made to secure pos. traveling companions were Mr. Thomas session of the war department. He retreated Chafin and Dr. John M. Anthony, merchants, ingloriously to his own office. When the im who had been frequenters of the house. The peachment proceedings ended, Stanton retired good lady of the house came in just then and was succeeded by General Schofield as and found the two last-named gentlemen secretary.-GENERAL JOHN M. THAYER, MC still standing and what she took for some Clure's Magazine, March, 1897. country boy occupying the easy lounge. Her 581 Stephens, Alexander L. OF THE GREAT Stevens, Thaddeus consequence who turns the string."-ALEXAN you please; any that you please; take mine DER GARDEN, "Anecdotes of the Revolutionary | if you cannot suit yourself better. Mine is War in America." at your service.” Arnold at once agreed to the proposition and immediately repaired A shell, thrown from the enemy, fell to his orderly and Jonathan Steuben forth- near them. The baron threw himself in a with graced the company roll in lieu of the trench. Wayne, in the jeopardy and hurry disgraced name of him who had plotted of the moment, fell on him. The baron, turn- treason to his country. After the United ing his eyes, saw that it was his brigadier. States had conquered their independence, “I always knew you were brave, General," our hero returned to Connecticut and on his said he, “but I did not know that you were so petition the general court legalized the perfect in every point of duty; you cover change of name.-POMROY JONES, “Annals your general's retreat in the best manner and Recollections of Oneida County” (1851). possible.”—WILLIAM NORTH, Aide-de-camp of (Mr. Jones publishes in full the order of the Baron Steuben. court legalizing the change of name and says Calling on Colonel Stewart and inform- that a farm was given to Steuben's (Ar- ing him of his intention to entertain the nold's] son by Colonel Walker, executor of British commander-in-chief (after the surren- the estate of Baron Steuben, in pursuance der at Yorktown] he requested that he would of a letter written by the baron a few years before his death.) advance him a sum of money as the price of his favorite charger. “ 'Tis a good beast," Judge Peters, who has been made a doc. said the baron, "and has proved a faithful tor of laws lately, told me that when Lafay. servant through all the dangers of the war; ette was in America during the Revolution- but, though painful to my heart, we must ary war, some university in New England part.” Colonel Stewart, to prevent a step created him a doctor of laws. Old Baron which he knew must be attended with great Steuben did not like this. He thought it loss and still greater inconvenience, imme- derogatory to the military character to be diately tendered his purse, recommending, dubbed a doctor. Shortly afterwards, the should the sum it contained prove insuf baron, at the head of a troop of dragoons, ficient, the sale or pledge of his watch. was obliged to pass through the town in “My dear friend,” said the baron, “'tis al- | which the university was that had elected ready sold. Poor N- was sick and wanted Lafayette. He halted his troop at the en- necessaries. He is a brave fellow and pos trance of the town and addressed it thus: sesses the best of hearts. The trifle it "You shall spur de horse vell and ride troo brought is set apart for his use. My horse the town like de debbil, for if dey catch you must go; so no more I beseech you to turn dey make one doctor of you."-SAMUEL me from my purpose. I am a major-general BRECK, “Recollections.” in the service of the United States and my private convenience must not be put in the STEVENS, Thaddeus, 1792-1868. Amer. scale with the duty which my rank calls ican statesman. on me imperiously to perform.”—GARDEN. A member of the Lancaster bar still liv. ing vouches for the following incident: While On one occasion, after the treason, the riding home from the trial of a cause in a baron was on parade at roll-call, when the neighboring county, Stevens and his com- detested name of Arnold was heard in one panion found a sheriff's sale going on and a of the infantry companies of the Connecti- deserving widow about to lose her farm on cut line. The baron immediately called the an execution. Stevens took a hand with unfortunate possessor to the front of the the crowd in bidding for the farm, which company. He was a perfect model for his was finally struck off to him for sixteen profession; clothes, arms and equipment in hundred dollars, the actual debt due. He the most perfect order. The practised eye wrote out his check for the money, ordered of the baron soon scanned the soldier, and: the sheriff to make out the deed to the poor “Call at my marquee, after you are dismissed, widow and proceeded on his journey. brother soldier," was his only remark. After Arnold was dismissed from parade he called When he removed to Lancaster some at the baron's quarters as directed. The complained that the young men of the period baron said to him: "You are too fine a sol were apt to linger long over the wine when dier to bear the name of a traitor-change it it was red at his house. He was then a at once; change it at once.” “But what name member of Congress. As soon as the gossip shall I take?” replied Arnold. "Any that reached his ears he ordered a half barrel Stevens, Thaddeus Stuart, General 582 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of whiskey in his cellar to be emptied into judge of an obscure Pennsylvania court. Un the street. When questioned by his neighbor der what he considered a very erroneous rul- about this waste of raw material, he good- ing it was decided against him; whereupon naturedly explained: “Well, it is said about he threw down his books and picked up his town that Russell, MacPherson and myself hat in a high state of indignation, scat- drink too much at our symposiums and I tering imprecations all around him. The reckon I can afford to make this oblation to judge straightened himself up to his full the gods.” The local Mrs. Grundy having height, assumed an air of offended majesty, been thus appeased, there was never any asked Thad. if he meant to express his "con. further occasion to charge him with endan- tempt for this court?” Thad. turned to him gering the morals of the youth of Lancas. very deferentially, made a respectful bow ter.- JAMES M. SCOVEL, Lippincott's Maga and feigned amazement. “Express my con- zine, April, 1898. tempt for this court ? No, sir; I am trying A good-natured Irish friend challenged to conceal it, your honor," adding as he Stevens one night to a game of poker. Ste- turned to leave, “but I find it damned hard vens accepted and before they arose from the to do it.”—Albany Law Journal, August 20, table he had won the Irishman's five hun- 1870. dred dollars--the whole sum he had so la- There is a well authenticated story of boriously saved for his wedding which was to Thaddeus Stevens, that going into the room come off the following week. Fitz had prom of the Committee on Elections, of which he ised the bride-elect a wedding trip. He was was a member, he found a hearing going on. now disconsolate but necessity drove him He asked one of his Republican colleagues to inform his intended of his losses at gam what was the point in the case. “There isn't bling and that he could not take her upon much point to it,” was the answer. “They the extended trip they had been so fondly are both damned scoundrels.” “Well," said anticipating. "Well," said the girl, "don't Stevens, “which is the Republican damned be downcast or discouraged; we'll get mar: | scoundrel? I want to go for the Republican ried and take the trip anyhow, for I have | damned scoundrel.” — GEORGE F. HOAR, money to pay the bills.” On the wedding “Autobiography." journey, but not till then as she had been On one occasion Judge Olin of New York enjoined, she told the happy bridegroom was speaking and in his excitement he walked where she got the money for the journey- up and down the aisle passing Stevens' seat. that Stevens had brought it to her the At length Stevens said: "Olin, do you expect day after Fitz had lost it and pressed it upon to get mileage for that speech?"-GEORGE S. her, saying he wished her to join him in BOUTWELL, "Sixty Years in Public Affairs." teaching Fitz a lesson.-JAMES A. WOODBURN, "Life of Thaddeus Stevens.” On one occasion a member, who seemed There were no clubs in Washington in to have no convictions on any questions and who often confessed that he seldom inves- 1856-60 except the gaming houses. Stevens tigated a subject without finding himself a was never a heavy player, although I have neutral, asked for a leave of absence and a seen him win fourteen hundred dollars on a twenty-dollar gold piece as his only stake. pair. “Mr. Speaker,” said Stevens, "I do On one occasion he had been playing in what not rise to object, but to suggest that the he called hard luck. Mr. Martin, from Ohio, honorable member need not ask this favor for the reading clerk of the House, always at he can easily pair off with himself.”—Wood- BURN. his elbow, and ready for a "sleeper" or a stake, repeatedly urged Stevens to "put a He said of Henry J. Raymond, who was stack on the ace,” which had lost three accustomed to make a speech on one side of times. "I will stake my reputation," said a question and then vote on the other, that Martin, “that the ace wins.” With a doubt. he had the advantage of other members of ing glance at Martin, Stevens shoved a stack the House in the matter of pairing, as he of blue chips, worth fifty dollars, over to I could always pair with himself.-T. W. the ace, playing it to win, on Martin's judg. LLOYD, The Green Bag, July, 1904. ment. The ace lost. Without the semblance “Sir, such things in a pettifogger would of a smile the old statesman said: “Martin, | be detestable, but in a member of this House you owe me a quarter.” This was the value they are respectable.” (Much laughter.) he put on Martin's reputation.-SCOVEL. Mr. Blair thereupon asked: “What was the When Thad. Stevens was a young lawyer gentleman's remark? I did not hear it." he once had a case before a bad-tempered | Stevens: "I said that in a member of the 583 Stevens, Thaddeus OF THE GREAT Stuart, General House they were respectable, and I hope the | thing, and a gallop is a gait unbecoming a gentleman takes no offense at that." (Laugh soldier, unless he is going towards the enemy. ter.) —Congressional Globe, April 21, 1862. Remember that. We gallop towards the His two strong, stalwart, colored ser- enemy, and trot away, always. Steady now! Don't break ranks!” As the words left his vants were carrying him up the stairs of the lips a shell from a battery half a mile to capitol in his chair, as their custom was, our rear hissed over our heads. during the last weeks of his attendance at “There,” he resumed, “I've been waiting for that, and the House. It had been apparent for some watching those fellows. I knew they'd shoot time to those about him that he had but too high and I wanted you to learn how a short time to live. One of the servants shells sound.” thought Stevens seemed unusually sad one morning and ventured to ask the reason for “General,” I cried presently, "there's a his depression. “Oh,” said Stevens, “I was Federal picket post on the road just ahead thinking of your great kindness and won of us. Had we not better oblique into the dering who will carry me up these steps woods?” “Oh, no; they won't expect us from when you two men are gone.”—JOHN W. this direction and we can ride over them FORNEY, "Anecdotes of Public Men.” before they make up their minds who we During his last illness a number of are.” Three minutes afterwards we rode at full speed through the corporal's guard on Pennsylvania politicians called upon Mr. picket and were a hundred yards or more Stevens to pay their respects and in the away before they could level a gun at us. course of conversation one of them remarked Then half a dozen bullets whistled about on his appearance. “Ah, gentlemen,” he said, “it is not my appearance that I am con- our ears, but the cavalier paid no attention to them. “Did you ever time this horse for cerned about just now, but my disappear- half a mile?" was all he had to say. ance.”—LLOYD. After capturing a large number of horses STUART, James Ewell Brown, 1833-1864. and mules on one of his raids, he seized a American general. telegraph station and sent a despatch to I was told by a friend who served on his General Meigs, then Quartermaster-General General Meio staff that he would frequently take one of of the United States Army, complaining that his aides and ride away otherwise unattended he could not afford to come after animals of into the enemy's lines; and oddly enough this | so poor a quality and urging that officer to was one of his ways of making friends with provide better ones for capture in future.- any officer to whom his rough boyish ways G. C. EGGLESTON, "A Rebel's Recollections." had given offense. He would take the of. ficer with him and when they were alone "You're about my size, Cooke” (John would throw his arms around his companion Esten), Stuart said, “but you're not so broad and say: "My dear fellow, you mustn't be in the chest.” “Yes, I am," answered Cooke. angry with me--you know I love you.” His “Let's see if you are,” said Stuart, taking boyishness was always apparent and the af- off his coat as if stripping for a boxing fectionate nature of the man was hardly match; “try that on.” Cooke donned the less so, even in public. He was especially coat with its three stars on the collar and fond of children and I remember seeing him found it a fit. “Cut off two of the stars," in the crowded waiting room of the railroad commanded Stuart, “and wear the coat to station at Gordonsville with a babe on each Richmond. Tell the people in the war de- arm; a great, bearded warrior, with his partment to make you a major and send plumed hat, and with golden spurs clanking you back to me in a hurry. I'll need you at his heels, engaged in a mad frolic with to-morrow.” When I visited him years af- all the little people in the room, charging terwards at the Briars, his home in the them right and left with the pair of babies Shenandoah valley, that coat, which had which he had captured from unknown moth- once been Stuart's, hung upon the wall as the centerpiece of a collection of war relics. ers. -G. C. EGGLESTON, “Recollections of a "Attention!” he cried; "now I want to to | Varied Life.” talk to you men. You are brave fellows, and patriotic ones, too, but you are ignorant of Captain Perkins, of the regular army, this kind of work and I am teaching you. commanding a battery of light artillery, was I want you to observe that a good man on also riding carelessly about half a mile in a good horse can never be caught. Another advance of his battery. He was suddenly ac- thing: cavalry can trot away from any | costed by three officers, one of whom ex- cal 585 Stuart, General OF THE GREAT Sumner, Charles self a scholar.-ARNOLD BURGES JOHNSON, ficiency in humor, told me, as I have already Scribner's Monthly, November, 1874. said, that when the “Bigelow Papers" first He had a child-like love for sweets and appeared Sumner was staying at his house. often bought chocolate creams and the like. It was a rainy afternoon and Mr. Longfel- low was obliged to go out, leaving Sumner Indeed, I rather came to look for the share stretched on the sofa reading Lowell's vol- he often poured upon my desk from a cono ume. When he returned he asked Sumner of confectionery purchased on his way home from the Senate. He seemed somewhat sen- how he liked the poems and Sumner replied: “They are admirable, very good indeed, but sitive as to his taste, if one might judge why does he spell his words so badly?" from the pains he sometimes took to defend it. He hoped he would never outgrow his Longfellow said that he attempted to explain that the poems were purposely written in the sweet tooth, for so long as it remained he New England dialect, but Sumner could not was sure of his digestion. But that was his understand. ... One summer at Nahant I only dissipation. He did not smoke. ... dined at Mr. Longfellow's with Mr. Sumner At dinner, when cigars came on with the and some others. Sumner was a collector wine, he would light up with the others rather than be a spoilsport, but I doubt if of china, about which he knew a great deal, as he did about many other things. He he ever smoked a whole cigar.-ARNOLD B. JOHNSON, told us a story about going to see Lord Ex- The Cosmopolitan Magazine, mouth's collection and how fine it was. When August, 1887. he was taking his leave Lord Exmouth gave I was curious to notice the way of dogs him two rare plates and offered to send them near him. After circling round him they to his lodgings, but Sumner would not be would lie down at his feet. Once, when sit parted from his prize and insisted on taking ting alone, reading, on the piazza of Profes- them with him in his cab. When he had sor Longfellow's cottage at Nahant, there concluded his story, which was interesting were four dogs, each from neighboring places, but long in narration, “Tom” Appleton, Mr. posted around him. One shaggy water dog Longfellow's brother-in-law, who was pres- had laid his head on the senator's knee. Yet ent, said: “A pleasing tale, illustrated with he had been in the place less than twenty two plates.” Everybody laughed and Sumner, four hours, had never called them or noticed looking about most good-naturedly, said: them; but somehow they seemed to notice "What are you laughing at? I suppose Ap- that he took pleasure in their presence. When pleton is up to some mischief, but my story in the country he always had a dog or two is quite true.”—HENRY CABOT LODGE, Scrib- at his heels. ner's Magazine, June, 1913. He used to say that he omitted the During reconstruction times a senator prayer against sudden death from his read | spoke of Governor Walker of Virginia as a ings of the litany. His physicians, who were pillar of the state. "Yes, a cater-pillar," constantly protesting against any such effort growled Sumner in a tone loud enough to be on his part as a public speech, could not pre heard in the immediate vicinity.-JOHNSON, vail with him by saying that death would The Cosmopolitan Magazine, October, 1887. follow such exertion. But when they threat- "I don't know what kind of a dinner ened him with paralysis, or with loss of they will give us,” said Sumner, "but you mind, he was more amenable to reason.- shall have a bottle of Château Lafitte of JOHNSON, Scribner's Monthly, August, 1874. 1847 and the rest will matter less.”—GEORGE In like manner, at an earlier date, Dr. | W. SMALLEY, "Anglo-American Memories.” Howe and Charles Sumner joined a singing It was noticed that the senator imme- class, but both evincing the same defect (hav- diately upon coming into the library lifted ing no ear for music) were dismissed as hope- his hat and remained uncovered while in less cases.-JULIA WARD HOWE, "Reminis- the room. On being asked whether the pres- cences." ence of a few women who were passing Dr. Holmes is reported to have said that through required an act of politeness so dan- "a pleasantry which would have set a com gerous to him in his feeble state, he replied: pany laughing bewildered and distressed "No; I didn't think of the ladies; I took off him."-HENRY G. SPAULDING, "Charles Sum- my hat to the books.”—JOHNSON, The Cos- ner.” mopolitan Magazine, September, 1887. Mr. Longfellow, who was devoted to We have heard a story, si non vero, ben Sumner but entirely conscious of his de- | trovato, that he was in his younger days Sumner, Charles Suwarrow, General 586 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES taken dangerously sick so suddenly that he him speak. My father never spoke of him could not be carried home and lay in great without giving him his title. He had enjoyed agony on a couch in his office. The friend that speech immensely. I do not know who was with him thought it his duty to whether I did or not. Father occupied a intimate to him the danger of his condition, front seat with the intention of rushing up and asked him if he wished to do anything to the platform and greeting him by the hand in the way of preparation. “I am prepared when he had finished, but the Honorable to die,” whispered Sumner, in a voice feeble Charles Sumner was too quick for him. He from suffering, “I have read through Calvin's disappeared, got to his hotel and nobody saw Institutes in the original."--GEORGE F. IIOAR, | him. Father said: “The Honorable Charles The North American Review, January, 1878. Sumner is going to Milwaukee to-morrow morning, and we can ride with him part of The late Senator Sumner was a dis- the way.” We were on the train early the criminating man and precise in his manner next morning and so was the Honorable of statement. At the sale of his personal Charles Sumner. He was sitting reading in effects in Boston ninety-five dollars was paid the drawing-room car. Father stepped up for an old Roman lamp, bearing the inscrip and said: “The Honorable Charles Sumner? tion: "The good shepherd giveth his life for I have read all your speeches. I feel it the his sheep," to which Mr. Sumner had added, duty of every American to take you by the "of all colors."--Harper's Magazine, October, hand. This is my son. He has just re- 1874. turned from the Kansas conflict.” Honorable In the account, first published in the Charles Sumner did not see father nor his New York Tribune, of my first meeting with son, but he saw the porter and said: "Can Bismarck, in 1866, I said that I had heard you get me a place where I will be undis- much from Bismarck which I could not re- turbed ?”–J. B. POND, “Eccentricities of peat. On my return I saw Sumner. Almost Genius.” instantly he asked me what it was that Bis Charles Sumner was grossly insulted by marck had told me which I could not repeat a lot of “unsalted” students when he lec- in print. The question was embarrassing tured at Ann Arbor. The yenerable senator enough and I answered slowly: "Mr. Sum was lecturing on the Franco-Prussian war and ner, much of what Count Bismarck said that his address was unconscionably long, besides seemed to me confidential related to diplo which he had a severe cold and was very matic and international matters and you are hoarse. Toward the end of his lecture he chairman of the Senate Committee on Foreign remarked: “A few more words and I am Relations. It would not have been said to done," upon which a tremendous outburst of you." Sumner reflected a moment, then an applause ensued. Sumner turned ghastly swered: “I suppose you are right. I won't pale and it was a few moments before he ask you about anything which you think could control his voice sufficiently to speak; you ought not to repeat. But you must then in trembling tones he stated that he consider that, notwithstanding all that Bis would close his address. Loud demands from marck has accomplished, he is still an un the respectable portion of his audience in- known force. My own belief is that the duced him to continue, but the lecture com- future of Germany lies in his hands. ...I mittee had trouble making him accept his have never met him, probably never will meet fee.-Albany Law Journal, January 27, 1894. him. But it is important to me to know all I can about him. Violate no confidence, but When the moxa was about to be applied tell me what you can. I will make no use of to his spine, Dr. Charcot proposed to give it except to inform my own mind. When I him an anesthetic. “But,” said Sumner, have to deal with Count Bismarck I want “does not the effect you seek to produce—the to be able to picture to myself what man- counter irritation-depend more or less on ner of man he is. In diplomacy a knowl- the pain the patient could endure without edge of men is half the battle.”—ŞMALLEY. the anesthetic?” “Yes," Charcot admitted reluctantly, “it probably does." "Then let Charles Sumner was an aristocrat. He us go ahead without ether," said Sumner, and was my father's ideal. After I had got back they did. I understand that the treatment from Kansas and visited my father's home in consisted of laying along the spine cotton Wisconsin, father said to me: "James, the wool soaked with oil and setting fire to it. Honorable Charles Sumner is going to speak | When, after two or three days, the burn is at R- We must hear him." So we ar partly healed, the operation is renewed, and ranged to go. We walked nine miles to hear the pain, of course, more severe. But no Suwarrow, General 588 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES very considerable, had been prodigiously aug. The singularity of his manner is as mented by the generosity of Catherine. Not. striking as the eccentricity of his mind. He withstanding the services he daily rendered retires to rest at six in the evening and and the value he set upon the favors of rises at two in the morning, when he bathes the empress, he refused to accept of estates himself in cold water or causes pails of water until he had children. to be thrown over his naked body. He dines In his love for simplicity it was not that at eight and his dinner, like his breakfast, he feared expense, for he had the most sov. consists of the coarsest and commonest food ereign contempt for money, so much so that of the soldier, and brandy: a man trembles he would never carry any about him or have to be invited to such a repast. Often, in the any concern with it. His son, his relations, middle of the entertainment, one of his aides. friends and the officers of his suite profited de-camp rises and, approaching him, forbids by and enjoyed his fortune, which was very him to eat any more. “By whose orders am large. He himself valued only his diamonds, I forbidden ?” demands Suwarrow himself. and in these he was immensely rich. They “By the orders of Marshal Suwarrow," an- were chiefly the fruits of the munificence of swers the aide-de-camp. Suwarrow, rising, Catherine and it was doubtless on this ac. then says: "He must be obeyed.” In the count that he particularly valued them. He same manner he causes himself to be com- had them always carried with him. manded in his own name to walk or to do any other necessary thing.–CHARLES F. P. The daughter of Suwarrow, married to MASSON, “Secret Memoirs of the Court of Count Nicholas Zouloff, brother of the last St. Petersburg." favorite of Catherine, was a woman of very distinguished merit. Her father loved her I had not seen General Suwarrow on tenderly and testified it in his peculiar man. my last visit to Kinbourn [1788) and did ner. He would gaze upon her with admira- not know him. The prospect of presenting tion and for hours would kiss her hands, myself to him made me feel a little agitated, and run about the apartment, leaping and and I was entirely absorbed in the thought rejoicing that Heaven had given him such a of it when my tent was unceremoniously treasure.-L. M. P. DE LAVERNE, "Life of entered by a man dressed in his shirt only, Field Marshal Suwarrow.” who asked me who I was. I told him and added that I was waiting for General Suwar. After the campaign in Italy, in the year row to awake, as I had a letter to give him 1799, when Suwarrow returned to St. Peters- from the Prince of Nassau, who had sent burg, Paul did not display much feeling of me to be under his orders. "I am delighted,” propriety in sending Kutassaioff to compli- he said, “to introduce him to you. I am he. ment the illustrious general upon his safe As you see, he is not a very ceremonious in- arrival. The witty and sharp warrior said dividual.” His manners and costume alike to him: “Excuse, my dear count, an old seemed to me rather surprising. Seeing that man, whose memory slackens. I recollect I was embarrassed by the fantastic appari- nothing about your illustrious family, or per- tion, he said: "Pray be calm and do not let haps you got your title of count from some great victory?" "I never was a soldier, me disturb you.” ... He dismissed me, say. ing that he would give me orders the next prince,” replied the ex-valet. “Oh, then, you day, that he warned me that his invariable no doubt have been an ambassador ?" "No." dinner hour was six o'clock and that he did “Minister ?” “Neither.” “What important | not wish me to dine anywhere but with him. post did you occupy?" "I had the honor At precisely six o'clock, therefore, on that to serve his majesty in the capacity of but. ler.” In this instant he rang the bell for same evening, I arrived at his quarters for dinner. “You have surely made a mistake, his own butler and addressed him in the fol lowing strain: "I say, Troschka, I have told monsieur,” said his senior adjutant; "it is six o'clock in the morning that his excel- you repeatedly, every day, that you must give up drinking and thieving, and you do lency dines, and he is now in bed.” And not listen to me. Now, look at that gen- he showed me a straw hut on the seashore, tleman. He has been a butler like yourself the general's one and only room. ... At but, being neither drunkard nor thief, you see precisely six o'clock the following morning I him now a great equerry-in-waiting to his | was at the general's door. He received me majesty, a knight of all the Russian orders with a series of leaps and embraces that dis- and count of the empire. You must follow quieted me a good deal; made me swallow a his example."-PRINCE DOLGOROUKY, "Hand. | glass of liquor that set fire to my throat book of the Principal Families in Russia." I and stomach; and drank some of the liquid 589 Suwarrow, General OF THE GREAT himself with grimaces. ... He then led me pathetic and grotesque he begged for the to a table which was laid for fifteen or twen benedictions and prayers of every priest and ty persons and bade me sit beside him. The monk he met. When he arrived at the cap- soup that reigned alone amid the guests was ital on March 15, 1799, he cried out: “Vive made of cucumbers; spring onions, common Joseph!” at the top of his voice, and when onions, chives, herbs and veal and chicken | he was checked and reminded that the name bones were swimming in the great tin basin, of the reigning sovereign was Francis he and presented a most horrible prospect to my displayed the greatest astonishment. "God senses. This was the only time in my life is my witness that I did not know." He that I saw any justification for the silly would not stay at the embassy until all the doctrine of several teachers: When you go mirrors, pictures, bronzes and other objects to the front you will see many worse things of comfort and luxury had been removed than fighting. Nevertheless, I ate some of from the apartments which had been pre- everything, lest I should seem to despise pared for him and then he slept in a bare the food, which would doubtless have dis room on a truss of hay.-K. WALISZEWSKI, pleased the general. I was secretly hoping “Paul the First." that a piece of beef would come to compen- sate me for my sacrifice, but I felt that my At present we are reduced to about six- last hour had arrived when a dish of gud- teen persons, and our society is somewhat select and pleasant. Among them is Mar- geon appeared, cooked in water and white as they were in life. They were followed shal Suwarrow, the hero of Ismail. He is by some tiny little sea fish cooked in the a most extraordinary character. He dines same sauce. The third course, which con- every morning about nine o'clock. He sleepy sisted of apples and wild fruit, seemed to almost naked. He affects a perfect indiffer- indicate the end of the repast; and, true ence to heat and cold and quits his chamber, which approaches to suffocation, in order to enough, the general arose, turned towards a picture and crossed himself repeatedly, review his troops, in a thin linen jacket, while making a number of rapid genuflections. I the thermometer of Réaumur is ten degrees must own that I felt myself dispensed from below freezing. His manners correspond saying grace. When I omit to do so, it is with his humors. I dined with him this generally from inadvertence, but God is just, morning—or rather witnessed his dinner; he and this time I owed Him nothing; He had cried to me across the table, “Tweddell!”— done nothing for me, for I was hungrier he generally addresses by surname without than when I sat down.-ROGER DE DAMAS, any additions—"the French have taken Ports- “Memoirs." mouth. I have just received a courier from England. The king is in the tower and Suwarrow's manner and behavior were Sheridan Protector.” A great deal of this disconcerting in their strangeness. As at whimsical manner is affected. He finds that Kontchanskoie, he dined at eight o'clock in it suits his troops and the people he has to the morning and remained three hours at deal with. I asked him if, after the mas- table. He then at once went to bed and did sacre at Ismail, he was perfectly satisfied not rise until four in the afternoon. This with the conduct of the day? He said he curious practise was in itself sufficient to went home and wept in his tent.-JOHN prevent him from taking part seriously in the TWEDDELL, "Life and Remains.” military operations which it was his duty January 3, 1800.-He is the most per- to direct. In fact, according to the report of fect Bedlamite that was ever allowed to be Wickham, the British agent in Switzerland, at large. I never saw anything so stark Suwarrow never took the trouble to visit mad and, as it appears to me, so contempt- a post or reconnoiter a position. “All the ible in every respect. To give you some no- plans for attacks and marches were made by tion of his manners, I went, by appointment, the Austrian staff officers. ... The marshal to pay my first visit, which I was told would was rarely present at the execution of them be only one of ceremony. I was fully dressed, and remained for the most part invisible to of course, and, although I did not expect the army." ... Half-naked and strangely ac- | him to be so, I was not prepared for what coutered he used to harangue them in a Ger. I saw. After waiting a good while in the man which was as unintelligible to them antechamber with some aides-de-camp, a door as his French. He entered all the convents opened and a little, old, shriveled creature, and covered himself with scapularies and in a pair of red breeches and his shirt for relics, stopped at every wayside shrine to all clothing, bustled up to me, took me in his mutter prayers, and in terms alternately I arms and, embracing me with his shirt- Suwarrow, General 590 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES sleeves, made me a string of high-flown flum- In the second year of his banishment and mery compliments, which concluded by kiss the sixty-ninth of his age the menacing con- ing me on both cheeks and I am told that dition of Europe, overrun with French ar. I was in luck that my mouth escaped. ... mies, rendered it necessary to enlist his serv- January 6.—Before dinner Frere and Casa ices once more. Accordingly, while Suwarrow major were presented to him. The latter be was leading an almost patriarchal life on ing extremely tall and Suwarrow very short, his retired estate, attending to agricultural he jumped upon a chair to get on Casamajor's matters, arranging the disputes and not in- neck and kiss him.-LORD MINTO, "Letters frequently the love affairs of his peasantry, to Lady Minto." and acquiring the art of church-bell ring. ing, an official despatch, addressed to "Field An avowed enemy to luxury, he made Marshal Suwarrow," was put into his hands. those about him remove from an apartment “This is not for me,” he said; "a field mar- destined to his own use every article of shal is at the head of armies: I am nothing sumptuous furniture and all that was not but an old soldier called Suwarrow" and he of strict necessity; and, sometimes, when by returned the letter. Some days later, a chance a looking-glass had been left, he broke similar packet, addressed, "To my faithful it in pieces with his hand as a piece of furni- subject, Suwarrow," was presented to him, ture useless or disgraceful to a soldier.- in which, on opening it, he read, “I have re- LAVERNE. solved to send you into Italy, to the assist- Snuff-boxes were then the common cur- ance of his Majesty, the emperor and king, my brother and ally," etc. ... Suwarrow rency of courteous exchanges. Snuff, indeed, hurried onward to Vienna, where he was re- was one of Suwarrow's weaknesses: and he ceived with distinguished honors by the was very particular as to its quality. He emperor Francis and the Austrian troops. seems to have a curious fancy about the box. "Be sure and see,” he wrote to his steward, During the interview the emperor asked him “that the boxes have a gilt ass's head in- what was his plan of operations. “I never side." Probably this was a trademark or was make any, your majesty," he replied; “time, place and circumstances decide me." "You it a joke against himself ?--MATRICE CHURCH, Cornhill Magazine, February, 1905. must have some plan," continued Francis; "I wish to know it." Suwarrow smiled and At the Royal Court of Russia said, “If I had, sire, I should not tell it; your majesty's council would know it this Catherine, after reviewing Suwarrow's evening and the enemy to-morrow.” To this division and scattering rewards broadcast, point the veteran adhered so rigidly that the asked him if he required anything. “Well, emperor was compelled to yield his assent, mother, pay the hire of my lodgings.” And much to the annoyance of the war council. Catherine, hastening to remove the stigma, Harper's Magazine, April, 1854. may well have been disgusted when he put it at three and a half roubles.-CHURCH. He [Paul] ordered the Austrian costume to be adopted (in his army). Nothing could At court he is sometimes seen running equal the general indignation. The hair must from lady to lady and kissing the portrait of be powdered, curled and pomatumed, a prac Catherine which they wear at the breast, tise which the Russian, who washed his locks crossing himself and bowing. Catherine one every day, naturally abhorred. The long day told him to behave himself more decent. tail made him the laugh of his countrymen. ly.—MASSON. His boots, to which he had been accustomed from infancy, and which form a distinctive In his old age he would often be seen part of the national costume, were to be running and frolicking in the streets of St. Petersburg, bawling at the top of his voice, taken off and be substituted by the tight Ger- "I am Suwarrow, I am Suwarrow," followed man spatterdash and the shoe, the one pinch- by a crowd of urchins, among whom he ing the leg and the other perpetually falling threw apples to be scrambled and fought for. off the foot, whenever the march happened At court he persisted in kissing the portrait to be in the wet. ... Suwarrow was then in of the empress Catherine, which every lady Italy with his army. One morning a large wore on her breast, to the dismay of the packet was brought to him by an imperial wearers, who shuddered when the snuffy nose, courier. To his astonishment and the amuse- innocent of handkerchiefs, came near their ment of his staff, it was but models of tails rich silks and white bosoms.--Temple Bar, and curls. Suwarrow gave vent to a sneer, June, 1881. I a much more fatal thing than a sarcasm, in 591 Suwarrow, General OF THE GREAT some Russian verses amounting to: "Hair- warrior struggled with death for an instant. powder is not gunpowder; curls are not can- Collecting his strength, he enumerated the non; tails are not bayonets." The general's benefits and marks of honor he had received rough poetry was instantly popular; it from Catherine. “I was,” cried he, “but a spread through the army; it traveled back simple soldier; she saw the zeal I had to to Russia; it reached the imperial ear; the serve her. I owe her more than life; she czar was stung by the burlesque and Su gave me the means to make myself illustrious. warrow was recalled.-Blackwood's Edin Tell her son that I accept his imperial pledge. burgh Magazine, February, 1846. Look at this portrait of Catherine; it has never quitted me. The favor I demand is The exigencies of state, however, com- that it may be buried with me in the tomb pelled Paul to capitulate to his victim and and remain forever on my heart." Having to invite him again to lead the armies of said this he soon after expired. —LAVERNE. Russia. Suwarrow made his appearance at court in civilian costume, without sword or As Commander in the Field decorative orders. The emperor was an Suwarrow had marched against Oginski noyed at this daring breach of etiquette. Su in flat disobedience of his superior's orders. warrow threw himself down on his breast "The match to the gun, Suwarrow to the and abdomen and began to crawl over the field,” he is reported to have said when for- floor to the foot of the throne. "What is bidden to march. Weimarn promptly court- this, marshal?” said the emperor; "come, my martialed him. An appeal to Catherine only son, this will not do; are you mad? Get up." resulted in Bibikoff, a personal friend of Su. "No, no, sire; I wish to make my way too in warrow, succeeding Weimarn. It was neces- this court and I know it is only by crawling sary to appoint a chief who would act with that one can get into your majesty's good this irrepressible subordinate.--CHURCH, graces."'--Temple Bar, June, 1881. Cornhill Magazine, February, 1905. Suwarrow was good for nothing except It has generally been considered as a war, and the scientifically balanced but too mark of a great mind in a soldier success- short step with which they drilled the sol- | fully to attempt hazardous things on his own diers with whom he was accustomed to rush responsibility; that is, without orders, or to victory excited his disgust. “It is an ex- contrary to their spirit. Suwarrow did more, cellent way,” he grumbled, “to do thirty for he dared to violate the positive orders of versts instead of forty when you are march- his commander, and staked his life on the ing on the enemy.” Sulking, railing and issue of an enterprise, not only expressly for- scoffing, he retired to his estate of Kobryn bidden, but extremely perilous and seemingly in Volhynia and ended by asking to be al. desperate. While yet a major he command- lowed to resign. By order of the emperor, ed an outpost in sight of the enemy who was Rastot pchine replied that the marshal's de- daily growing stronger, and he requested per- sire had been anticipated and on February 6, mission to attack him, going so far as to 1797, the following note was published after pledge himself for the success. The com- parade, “Field Marshal Count Suwarrow, hav. mander-in-chief, thinking it rash and imprac- ing said that in the absence of war there ticable on account of the enemy's great su- is nothing for him to do, is excluded from periority, forbade the attempt on the pain service for these words.” This involved the of death; and made the chagrin of Suwar. loss of the right to wear a uniform and Paul row, who was conscious of his own better saw no reason for making an exception. Be- judgment, quite insupportable. Foreseeing ing thus taken at his word, Suwarrow did that the enemy's numerical superiority, con- many foolish things. He solemnly buried his stantly increasing, would soon deprive him uniform and decorations, and refused to re- of the opportunity of striking the meditated ceive a letter from the emperor because it blow, he invited his brother officers to a sup- was addressed to Field Marshal Suwarrow, per, and by flattering themí with a certain "who was no more."—WALISZEWSKI. prospect of glory, while the deadly prohibi- tion was confined to his own breast, that he Upon the return of the two grand dukes, alone might suffer in case of failure, he pre- the emperor, foreseeing perhaps the reproach vailed on them to join in the attack, and which history would cast upon him for his they mustered a force of a thousand strong injustice and ingratitude to Suwarrow, sent | from the junction of different outposts under an officer to inform him that his imperial the command of Suwarrow. Justly calculat- word was pledged to grant any favor he ing that the enemy, being five times stronger, should demand. At these words the old | had too much confidence to expect or to be Suwarrow, General 592 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES prepared for an attack from so weak a body, Suwarrow fell upon him at night, defeated him with great slaughter, obtaining a decisive victory, which he thus reported: “As a sol- dier I deserve death for disobeying my or- ders; as a Russian I have done my duty; the enemy is no more.” The commander-in-chief was thunderstruck at reading this despatch, yet so pleased with the boldness of Suwar- row's genius and the brilliant result of his conduct, that, not knowing how to decide himself, he stated the whole to the empress and sent her the original despatch. Her majesty immediately returned the following answer, addressed to Suwarrow: “As a sol- dier, I leave you to the mercy of the com- mander-in-chief; as a Russian, I congratulate you as my lieutenant-colonel.” From this time Suwarrow's rise was regular and pro- gressive, and the impression he made upon the empress never effaced.-W. A. CLOUSTON, "Choice Anecdotes." When General Suwarrow commanded under the prince of Coburg, on the frontiers of Turkey, he had an army of 22,000 men. Coburg himself had 37,000, and the Turks only 28,000. Prince Coburg's army, which had taken a good position on rising ground, about nine miles distant from Suwarrow, was attacked and obliged to fall back. Co- burg then wrote to Suwarrow: “My dear Suwarrow: I was attacked this morning by the Turks; I have lost my position and ar- tillery. I send you no instructions what to do. Use your own judgment, only let me know what you have done, as soon as you can.” Suwarrow immediately sent the fol- lowing answer: "My General: I shall at. tack the Turks to-morrow morning, drive them from your position and retake your cannon.” Before three o'clock in the after- noon, Suwarrow had kept his word and Co- burg's army had their cannon and their old position back before night.-PERCY, “Anec- dotes." Even his personal habits, much as they shocked good judges, were not, as was sup- posed, incompatible with the duties of a commander-in-chief. On the contrary, they had much to do with the remarkable results which he achieved. Suwarrow's soldiers, eat- ing and sleeping at the same hours as he, were capable of extremely long and rapid marches. At midnight the marshal des- patched the men who looked after the cook- ing. Three hours later their comrades start- ed, taking an hour to rest between each stage of seven versts; and at eight in the morn- ing they found their repast ready for them. After eating it, they slept, like their general, and started again in the same manner at 4 P.M., reaching their camp, which was entirely ready beforehand to receive them, at eight or ten in the evening.-WALISZEWSKI. The Duke de Guiche, who when young had served under Suwarrow, mentioned yes. terday evening the following anecdote of that extraordinary character: During the Turkish war in 1795 the Russian army com- menced the siege of the fortress of Ka. mieneek, which, seated on a spiral rock, was considered impregnable. Suwarrow first at- tempted to reduce it by famine, but the gar- rison had been so abundantly supplied with provisions that after some time the impatient general, despairing of success by this tedious process, determined to attempt the capture by assault. The attempt was immediately put into execution, but, notwithstanding the impetuosity of the attack, the Russian troops were driven back into their intrenchments with much loss. In a few days afterwards a second attempt was made with equal bravery but with the same unfortunate result. The hope of success was now deemed impossible, the troops were disheartened and the gen. eral in despair. At last Suwarrow presented himself in front of his army and, calling from the ranks a party of six sappers, or. dered them to dig a hole in the ground before him. This being accomplished, he first threw in his hat; he next broke his sword and thrust it likewise into the chasm; he then jumped in himself and called on the by. standers to cover him with earth and bury him alive that he might not bear witness to the degeneracy of the Russian army. This extraordinary act operated like an electric shock upon the troops; a general hurrah per- vaded all the ranks and with one common accord they demanded again to be led to the assault with the assurance that they were determined to conquer or die. The assault took place and, after a tremendous carnage, in which the flower of their army was de- stroyed, the Russians at length became mas- ters of Kamieneek.—THOMAS RAIKES, Jour. nal, January 26, 1835. Years of peace followed, uneventful but for one or two characteristic anecdotes that have come down to us. Passing a monastery one day, the whim seized him to attack it. The troops formed in column, advanced on the double and stormed the place to the confusion of the inmates. The superior com- plained. "Never mind Suwarrow," said Catherine; "I understand him." There was something like madness in the act, but it 593 Suwarrow, General OF THE GREAT was madness of genius. The man lived for | But the next morning the shrewd sentry was his work and he could not help practising it made a corporal for having been "too smart and knew practise was essential to the men for the general.”—DAVID KER, Harper's Mag. who were, so to speak, his tools.-CHURCH. | azine, January, 1890. When a French general was made pris. Suwarrow had such intense aversion to oner he would have him fumigated before any person saying “I don't know" in answer brought into his presence, in order to dis to his questions, that he became almost infect him of the revolutionary spirit.—ED frantic with passion. His officers and sol- WARDS. diers were so well aware of this singularity that they would hazard any reply instantly, Figures of straw and clay were put up accurate or not, rather than venture to in every quarter and Suwarrow's smile re- || incur his displeasure by professing ignorance. warded him whose saber cut the deepest. In (Extract from his instructions:] Have a the bayonet practise his personal feelings dread of the hospital. German physic stinks were oddly shown. At the words, "Charge from afar and is good for nothing. For the on the Poles," the recruit advanced and gave healthy: drink, air and food; for the sick: a thrust; at "Charge on the Prussians,” the food, air and drink. For him who neglects recruit stabbed twice (Suwarrow hated the his men: if an officer, arrest; if a sub-offi- military foppery and pretensions of that peo cer, lashes, and, for the private who neglects ple); at “Charge on the French” (the "light himself, more lashes. Brothers, the enemy skipping, God-forgetting French," he called trembles at you. But there is another them), the recruit stabbed twice horizontally enemy greater than the hospital—the damned and once downward into the ground. When “I don't know.” From the half-confessing, the victim was supposed to be a Turk, the the guessing, lying, deceitful, the palavering soldier was cautioned in addition to shake equivocation, squeamishness and nonsense of him from the bayonet; "he must be very "don't know" many disasters originate.-J. dead,” Suwarrow used to say, “when he does | W. COLE, "Russia and the Russians.” not try a sweeping cut." All his drill was applicable to actual warfare, where the men At the siege of Ismail he summoned his had to conquer or die. It was their interest soldiers and staff and, instead of reading an to kill fast and they were taught what was at eloquent order of the day, uttered these sim- once best for themselves and "for the honor ple words: “Soldiers, at midnight you will and safety of their sovereign and his domin- see me get up and you will do the same; ions.”—MAJOR EDWARD NEVIL MACREADY, “A then I shall say my prayers and you will do Sketch of Suwarrow and his Last Campaign.” the same. Then I shall wash myself, and you will not do the same as you will not have The general was prowling at night among time. Then you will see me sit down on the the outposts, looking out for a chance to play ground and crow like a cock three times one of his usual tricks. According to cus [here he imitated the crowing of a cock) tom, he was very lightly clad, although it and this will be the signal for the assault." was a bitterly cold night in midwinter; for -EDWARDS. the old warrior was very proud of his power Lest he should slumber too long he al- of enduring cold (which was superior to that ways carried a dung-hill cock with him with of any man in the army), and he never lost which he shared his bedroom and whose a chance of displaying it. Suddenly he came shrill clarion sounding at his ear always upon a sentinel and called out to him, “Hello, summoned the warrior in good time for the brother, how many stars are there in the duties of the day. “I hate idleness," he sky?” The soldier knew the marshal's voice said, "and that bird," pointing to the cock, at once, but, pretending not to recognize him, “is very punctual in awakening me.” So he replied, “Just wait a bit and I'll count highly did he appreciate the services of the 'em for you,” and began deliberately, “one, bird that in emulation of its virtues he would two, three, four,” and so on. To the sentry, go to the door of his tent and, instead of wrapped in his thick frieze coat, this was a ordering the drum to beat, or the bugle to good joke enough; but the thinly clad general sound, imitate its cries as the signal that soon found it much colder than he liked and the camp was to awake.—Temple Bar, Janu- when the soldier had gone up to one hun- dred and was still counting away as if he ary, 1881. would never leave off, Suwarrow stopped him Frequently he rides through his camp short, having taken his name, made off as naked to his shirt on the bare back of a fast as his half-frozen feet would carry him. Cossack horse and at daybreak, instead of Suwarrow, Goneral Talleyrand 594 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES causing the drums to beat the reveille, he comes out of his tent and crows three times like a cock, which is the signal for the army to rise, sometimes to march, or even to go to battle. Sometimes he visits the hospitals of the camp, calling himself a physician. Those whom he finds extremely ill he obliges to take rhubarb or salts and on those who are but slightly indisposed he bestows blows. Often he drives all of the sick from the hos. pital, saying, “It is not permitted to the soldiers of Suwarrow to be sick."-MASSON. give way to passion,” he desisted, saying, “What the field marshal orders Suwarrow obeys.”—MACREADY. On receiving the marshal's baton he or. dered a Te Deum and commanded a number of chairs to be placed in the center of the church, one for each officer his senior. He appeared in the sacred edifice arrayed in his pyjamas, or something less than their equivalent, and proceeded to vault over these files of chairs, taking each in due succes- sion. It was not until the conclusion of this gymnastic feat that he donned the new uni- form and desired the horror-stricken clergy to proceed with the office.-W. KNOX JOHN- SON, The Fortnightly Review, November 1, 1896, citing Waliszewski. He once had his arm raised to strike a soldier when an officer boldly exclaimed, “The field marshal has commanded that no one TALLEYRAND, Charles Maurice de Talley. rand-Périgord, Prince de Bénévent, 1754. 1838. French statesman. It is said that in 1767, when he was yet scarcely thirteen years of age, he had become at the same time the pride and shame of the school, being publicly reprimanded for un- pardonable irregularities and, almost in the same breath, rewarded with the first prize for merit and value.-CHARLES MAURICE CATHERINET VILLEMAREST (Mölle d'Avrillon), "Life of Talleyrand.” He was throughout life lame of one foot and it is uncertain whether his lameness was of natural origin or was the result of a fall while he was at nurse. One account, pro- fessing to have been taken from Talleyrand's own lips, states that he was left under a hedge by his nurse and that his leg was badly bitten by pigs and suffered permanent injury. In any case, his own mother could not endure the sight of her lame offspring; 80 that he was left with his foster mother at a country village for three or four years. His uncle, the bailli de Périgord, a naval officer, wishing to see what his little nephew was like, went to find him at the village where he was left, almost forgotten. He found the child running about dirty and ragged in the fields in company with a little foster brother as ragged as himself. The bailli de Périgord took his little nephew just as he was and planted him down in the center of his mother's Parisian salon as she was receiving some great lady visitors. “My sister," said the bailli, “this is the descend- ant in a direct line of the princes of Chalais --he bears arms, three lions or, armed and crowned, a field gules, a prince's crown on escutcheon, and a ducal crown on his mantle; and his motto is Re que Diou, which means 'Nothing but God Above Us.' Go, monsei. gneur, my nephew, kiss that fine lady; she is your mother."-WILLIAM STIGAND, Bel- gravia, February, 1876. Although few men were more disgraced by nature than himself he was occasionally coquettish in his dress and wore a coat which a dandy, for its tightness, would have chosen for the display of his shape. From parsi- mony, however, he was always desirous of seeing his servants in roomy clothing; for, in the event of change, the livery would serve the successor. I was waiting one day at his house in Hanover Square, whilst the Portu- guese ambassador was closeted with him, when the tailor brought home one of those gaudy liveries which were to be worn on the occasion of the approaching visit of the Duke of Orleans. One of the footmen having put it on, he was sent by the chamberlain to ask what I thought of the new livery. “Why, my good fellow," I said, “it is not a coat you have got; it is a sack.” “Yes, sir," re- plied the man; "I know that, but it is done purposely. If it were not to fit loosely, the prince would refuse all the liveries, so the tailor has made it very loose to please him; but, when he shall have seen me in it, and confirmed the order, the tailor would trick him by taking it in.”-Fraser's Magazine, November, 1839. Talleyrand spent part of his time at New York. Being on a visit to that city myself when he was there, he invited me to breakfast with him. He was then about to 595 Talleyrand OF THE GREAT , General Suwarrowset out on a visit to the Western country, He sent for the clerk whom he suspected and such was the wild state of that region of having committed the theft. “You may as in those days that he thought it necessary to well confess everything," said M. de Talley- equip himself like a hunter; for which pur rand, "for all denial will be useless. You are pose he had caused a rifleman's suit to be the only person employed in that room, and made, and after breakfast he went up to his consequently you alone” The unhappy room to put it on. When he was fully man burst into tears. "Compose yourself," dressed in the costume of a backwoodsman said the minister; "you can no longer re- of the last century, he called me up to look main here, but I do not wish to ruin you, at him. The metamorphosis from the bish: | because I know you have a wife and family. op's lawn and purple to this savage garment What is the amount of your salary?" "Three was sufficiently ridiculous, but he did not thousand six hundred francs.” “Very well; think so, for he displayed it with pride and now, I will tell you what I can do for you, delight. His companion, Baumais, had a sim but you must promise me that you will ilar habit.-SAMUEL BRECK, “Recollections.” keep my secret as I promise to keep yours. I will procure a mission for you, which you Nobody had a cooler manner to his cred- must fail in fulfilling; you will consequently itors than Talleyrand. Once, when he was be discharged for neglect and by way of in- going down to his coach, he was stopped by demnity your wife shall receive half your a man who humbly told him that he did not salary for three years. Now you may go.” ask for his money, but only begged to know -VILLEMAREST. at what time hereafter it would be con- venient for his excellency to pay him. “It He said that when he was minister for seems to me, monsieur, you are very curious," foreign affairs Colonel Burr came to Paris said Talleyrand, and he coolly passed on, and sent his card to him. He returned the leaving the poor man quite rebuffed.-LORD card with the message that he had the por- STANHOPE, “Conversations with Wellington.” trait of General Hamilton hanging up in his parlor.-JAMES BUCHANAN, "Diary,” Sep- During Talleyrand's last embassy com tember 23, 1833, plaint was made to the Foreign Secretary (Lord Palmerston) that between thirty and One day, as he was relating some in- forty hogsheads of claret, far more than the famous trait of one of his colleagues, his French embassy could consume, were annual- hearers interrupted him, exclaiming, “The ly imported for their use duty free. Lord man who can commit an act of that kind Palmerston mentioned the matter to Talley- is capable of assassinating." "Assassinating, rand, who, after time taken for inquiry, ex- | no," coolly replied M. de Talleyrand, “but of plained that the admitted abuse of the priv poisoning, yes.”—VILLEMAREST. ilege had been traced to his maître d'hôtel. Talleyrand was the great player of the There were circumstances justifying a sus- day and his mot, “You do not know whist, picion that the maître d'hôtel and the am. young man? What a sad old age you are bassador went shares.-The Quarterly Re- preparing for yourself !” is a standing quo- view, October, 1867. tation in all whist books.-The Quarterly Everyone had heard of Talleyrand's Review, January, 1871. grand precept, “Never do for yourself what IIe said that “diplomatists ought to take you can get some one to do for you."--The snuff as it afforded a pretext for delaying a Quarterly Review, March, 1853. reply with which one might not be ready." --EMILY HILL, The Gentleman's Magazine, "Doctor, an odd notion strikes me. I December, 1900. wish to give you a pension. Yes, I am seri- ous--for instance, a pension of six thousand One of these scenes was formed by a francs. ... It will not be for your life, practical joke played successfully by Talley- no, nomit will be for mine; then you see it rand on the Abbé de Pradt, then Archbishop will be your affair, it will be your business, of Malines. He got the clever but tricky to keep me alive, as well as your pension; and flighty archbishop to go in full dress on I shall give myself no further trouble about the streets, waving a white handkerchief and my health. So it is a settled thing; say no shouting "Vive le roi!” assuring him he would more about it."-VILLEMAREST. (A similar create a sensation. As was to be expected, pension was given by Lord Queensberry, but Pradt, at first received favorably by some both apparently copied it from an old Chinese royalists, was soon set on by Bonapartists, custom.) | hustled and sent back in a very disheveled Talleyrand 596 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES state. M. de Talleyrand coolly heard him Prompt at Repartee out and answered, “It is just as I told you; It was by a bon mot uttered in the so dressed you could not fail to make a presence of his friend and patroness, Madame wonderful effect."-COUNT BEUGNOT, "Mem. Du Barry, that he first achieved promotion; oirs." for, being one day rallied by her as to his silence while in her society, "Hélas ! Madame,” Every history of the two French restora- tions in 1814 and 1815 relates that the Duke he sighed, “a sad thought has just occurred to me: Paris is a city where it is easier d'Artois, afterwards King Charles X., in making his entrée into Paris, pronounced the to have women than abbés.”—CLEMENTINA DAVIES, “Recollections of Society in England words, "Nothing is changed in France; there and France." is only one Frenchman more.” Happy words in the mouth of a prince returning from exile, At a soirée, where Talleyrand was of and happy the Bourbons if they had always the party, the conversation for a few individ- kept these words in mind. But here again uals, knotted in a corner of the room, turned we must declare that this promising sentence on the pictures brought from Spain by Soult was never uttered. The famous Talleyrand, and Wellington; and it was discussed which of cunning memory, had in the evening of of the two had the most valuable collection, that rather eventful day a select party as on which the witty Prince of Périgord, with sembled at his hotel and asked the company, the usual twinkle of his eye and dry manner, as a matter of course, “What did the prince remarked that, important as these treasures say?” The general answer was, "Nothing at were, the most extraordinary circumstance of all.” “But,” exclaimed the sly diplomatist, the whole affair was that the Duke of Well- "he must have said something," and, address. ington had paid money for his acquisitions. ing a well-known political writer, he con- Talleyrand, speaking of the members of tinued, “B- , you are a wit; go into the the French Academy, observed: “After all, closet and make a mot.” B- went and it is possible, they may some day or other came back three times; his wit was at fault do something remarkable. A flock of geese and his ideas did not satisfy the company. once saved the capitol of Rome."-WILLIAM At last he returned a fourth time and pro- JERDAN, “Autobiography." nounced with triumphant emphasis the above patriotic words, "Nothing is changed in "Monseigneur,” once said a lady to him, France; there is only one Frenchman more.” “do you think Voltaire is in the infernal re- Talleyrand applauded; the Duke d’Artois had gions?” “No, madame," replied Talleyrand, found his mot and the next day the papers "I do not. If the Lord wanted to punish him made it known to the world and, as an old He would have placed him where he could French author says, “In this way history is behold the choirs of angels—I knew the old written."-Chambers's Journal, December, rascal. He would have him bursting with 1855. envy all through eternity.”—SIMON BOUBÉE, Supplement Littéraire de Figaro, February, Talleyrand's health was proposed. Be. | 1889. fore the applause had subsided he got up, General de Girardin squinted shocking. made a mumbling as if speaking, but spoke nothing, made a bow and sat down; at which ly and once, upon asking the Prince de Tal. the applause redoubled, though those im- leyrand, “How are affairs going?” he received mediately about him knew he had never ut- the answer, “All crooked, as you see."- COUNT DE FALLOUX, “Memoirs." tered a word.—The Leisure Hour, February, 1889. "Do you not really think that Madame de Marimier's petticoats are much too short q” The oysters, according to the conditions “Why?" he replied; "yes; I think they are agreed upon, were to be furnished for twelve rather short to wear when taking an oath persons; moreover, the winner was to have of fidelity.”—VILLEMAREST. the right of naming the other guests. Did M. de Talleyrand act in this case as every He is the author of the bon mot quoted body else would have done, invite ten of his somewhere by Champfort, where Bulhiere friends? No such thing; this was very far said: “I know not why I am called a wicked from his intention. He made very careful man, for I never committed, in the whole inquiries for ten of the greatest oyster-eaters course of my life, but one act of wickedness.” in Paris; these he chose for his guests, so The bishop of Autun, who had not previously that the Duke of Laval had to pay for five taken part in the conversation, immediately hundred dozen.-VILLEMAREST. exclaimed with his sonorous voice and signifi- 597 Talleyrand OF THE GREAT cant tone: "But when will this act be at an tor I am very sorry not to be able to see end ?"-ETIENNE DUMONT, "Reminiscences of him this morning," was the prince's mes- Mirabeau.” sage; “I am ill.” “Ah, indeed,” rejoined Talleyrand was asked if he did not see Bourdois, not to be outdone; “I should not have come had I known that. Please tell a resemblance between Metternich and Ma- zarin. The bishop of Autun replied: “Yes! his excellency that I shall not come back Mazarin never told lies but always deceived until I hear he is quite well again.”- you; now Metternich always tells lies and POUMIES DE LA SIBOUTIE, “Recollections of a Parisian.” never deceives you.”_WILLIAM FRASER, "Dis. raeli and his Day.". “Ah, I feel the torments of hell,” said As Madame de Staël was one day playing a person in great agony, whose life had been with a party of friends at a game called The supposed to have been somewhat of the loos- Boat, she asked M. de Talleyrand whether est. “Already?” was the inquiry supposed to he would save her or Madame de Grand. have been suggested by Talleyrand. (Cer- This was an embarrassing question, for it tainly it came natural to him; it is, how- happened to be put at the very time when ever, not original. The Cardinal de Retz's Talleyrand's attachment for the former lady physician is said to have made a similar ex. was on the decline, and he was beginning clamation on a like occasion.)-LORD BROUG- to conceive a passion for the latter, who was HAM, “Talleyrand.” (LAROUSSE, “Grand Dic. tionnaire Universel"; HENRY WIKOFF, “Rem- a very different person. “You, madame, pos- sess so much talent,” he replied, "that you iniscences of an Idler," and LOUIS BLANC, can extricate yourself from any danger; “History of the First Ten Years of the Reign therefore, I should save Madame de Grand.” of Louis Philippe,” attribute this remark to Louis Philippe, when Talleyrand lay dying, -GEORGETTE DUCREST, "Memoirs of the Em. press Josephine.” Blanc adding that the dying man "imme- diately revenged himself by giving to one Shortly after the affair of Pichegru and of the persons about him secret and formid- Moreau a banker who had been introduced to able indications." LORD JOHN RUSSELL, "Me. Talleyrand, and admitted to the honor of moirs and Correspondence of Thomas Moore," several conferences with him, wrote to his attributes the remark to Talleyrand.) excellency to solicit an audience, which was M. Fournier asserts, on the written au- granted. Talleyrand was at that time Min- thority of Talleyrand's brother, that the only ister of Foreign Affairs. The report of the death of George III. had just obtained cir- breviary used by the ex-bishop was “L'Im- culation through Paris and was naturally provisateur Français," a compilation of anec- dotes and bon mots, in twenty-one duodecimo suspected of producing a great sensation in the stock exchange. The banker, who, like volumes. Whenever a good thing was wan- dering about in search of a parent, he adopted many of his financial brethren, wished to make a good hit, thought the present a good it, among others: “This is the beginning of opportunity, had the indiscretion to reveal to the end.”—The Quarterly Review, April, the minister the real object of his visit. 1861. Talleyrand listened to him without moving "Speech was given to man to disguise a muscle of his phlegmatic visage, and at his thoughts,” M. Harel really invented, but, length replied in a solemn tone: "Some say according to his custom, started in the world that the king of England is dead; others say under Talleyrand's name, in the Naine Jaune, that he is not dead: but do you wish to and which then never afterwards he could know my opinion?” “Most anxiously, prince." succeed in reclaiming. But Voltaire was “Well, then, I believe neither. I mention the first to express the idea.-J. A. FARRER, this in confidence to you; but I rely on your The Gentleman's Magazine, February, 1889. discretion: the slightest imprudence on your part would compromise me most seriously.”- The saying that language was given to men to conceal their thoughts is generally JFRDAN. fathered on Talleyrand at present. I did Bourdois-Lamothe, a clever doctor as well not know it was in Goldsmith, but the real as a man of wit and learning, was Talley. | author of it is Fontenelle.-Notes and Que. rand's medical adviser for over thirty years. ries, March 22, 1851. Talleyrand appreciated the brilliancy of his intellect, but rated his professional skill very Napoleon and Talleyrand low. One morning Bourdois came, as usual, L M. de Champagny, a clever but narrow- to visit his sarcastic patient. “Tell the doc. | minded man, was transferred from the Min. Talleyrand 598 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES istry of the Interior to that of Foreign Af- the company had gone he went up to Talley. fairs, and M. de Talleyrand, on presenting rand and bawled: “What have you come to him the various persons who were to be here for? To show your ingratitude: Yon under his authority, said: "Here, sir, are give the people to believe that you belong to many highly commendable persons. They the party in opposition. You think, I dare will give you every satisfaction. You will say, that were I to die, you would be presi. find them capable, punctual, exact and trust. dent of the council of the regency. Now, worthy, but, thanks to my training, not at mark my words. Were I so much as dan. all zealous.” At these words M. de Cham- gerously ill, the first thing I should do would pagny expressed some surprise. “Yes," con: | be to have you shot.” Prince Talleyrand, tinued M. de Talleyrand, affecting the ut with the grace and quiet of a courtier who most seriousness, "with the exception of a | had just received new favors, bowed low and few despatching clerks, who fold up their respectfully as he replied: "I did not re- covers with undue precipitation, every one quire such a warning, sir, to address most here observes the greatest calmness, and all fervent prayers to heaven to vouchsafe health are totally unused to haste. When you have and long life to your majesty.”—“Private had to transact the business of the inter Recollections of the Prince de Talleyrand, ests of Europe with the emperor for a little Paris, 1870." while, you will see how important it is One day the emperor had the comedians not to be in any hurry to seal and send off his decisions.” M. de Talleyrand amused of some of the smaller theaters come and the emperor by relating this incident and de- play before him. Whatever the occasion may scribing the crestfallen and astonished air have been, he permitted and even desired with which his successor received the use- more of the gaiety than was customary in ful hint. these court performances. M. de Talleyrand, as grand chamberlain, signified, with his A treaty of peace between England and most solemn visage, his master's august de- France was being arranged at Amiens in the sire: “Gentlemen, the emperor earnestly re- spring of 1810. Certain difficulties which quests you to be amused.”-SAINT-BEUVE, had arisen between the plenipotentiaries were "Causeries du Lundi." giving rise to some little uneasiness and Bonaparte was anxiously expecting The empress, who was restless, idle and despatches. A courier arrived and brought tired, at Mayence, wrote continually, beg. to the Minister of Foreign Affairs the much ging to be allowed to go to Berlin. The desired signature. M. de Talleyrand put it emperor was on the point of yielding to her into his pocket and went to the First Consul. and I learned from M. de Rémusat with He appeared before him with that immov. fresh sorrow that in all probability his ab- able countenance which he wears on every sence would be prolonged. But the arrival occasion. For a whole hour he remained of the Russians, and the obligation he was with Bonaparte, transacting a number of under of marching into Poland, made Bona- important matters of business, and, when parte change his mind. Moreover, he was all was done, “Now,” said he smiling, “I informed that Paris was dull and that the am going to give you a great pleasure; tradespeople were complaining of the harm the treaty is signed and here it is.” Bona done them by the general uneasiness. He parte was astounded at this fashion of an sent orders to his wife to return to the nouncing the matter. "Why did you not tell Tuileries, there to keep up the accustomed me at once?” he demanded. "Ah," replied splendor of the court, and we all received M. de Talleyrand, “because then you would commands to amuse ourselves ostentatiously. not have listened to me on any other sub On this occasion M. de Talleyrand said: ject. When you are pleased, you are not "Ladies, this is no laughing matter; the em. always pleasant.” The self-control displayed peror insists on your amusing yourselves.” in this reticence struck the Consul, “and," added M. de Talleyrand, “did not make him It was under the Directory that he made angry, because he saw immediately how far the acquaintance of Madame Grand. Al- though she was no longer in her first youth, it might be made useful to himself.”— this lady, who was born in the East Indies, MADAME DE RÉMUSAT, "Memoirs." was still remarkable for her beauty. She One morning, after the campaign of wished to go to England, where her husband Dresden, Napoleon observed Prince Talley. | resided, and she applied to M. de Talley. rand at his levee and bade him remain, as rand for a passport. Her beauty and her he wished to talk privately with him. After | visit produced apparently such an effect upon Taylor, Zachary Tennyson 600 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES of Denon's travels in Egypt. The emperor wit: “Why, that is Zachary Taylor's head laughed heartily and afterwards several times and body with another's man's legs." "How related the anecdote himself.-COUNT DE LAS so, my friend?” “Oh, the old gentleman Cases, "Memoirs of Napoleon.” would not sit as a model. When he was little thinking of it the artist sketched the head After the marriage of Prince Eugène I and body; but, as the general declared that was obliged to turn him out of office, on ac- he could not afford the time for further count of complaints made against him by the operations, the poor artist was obliged to Kings of Bavaria and Wurttemberg. Nothing finish with another man.” was to be got, no treaty to be made, or ar- rangements for commerce, without first hav- There is one of those traditionary tales ing bribed him. There were some commer located at Newmansville and vicinity which cial treaties on foot at the time to con probably had some foundation in fact. With clude which he demanded enormous sums. all his virtues it is often stated that Colonel O’MEARA, quoting Napoleon. Taylor, though a good disciplinarian, in other regards was a little careless concerning the TAYLOR, Zachary, 1784-1850. American | uniforms of his officers and men, and espe. general and statesman. cially so with his own. In fact, he never General Taylor once called a council of wore a complete regulation suit except when war in face of the Mexicans, who were much imperative duty, like that of a formal in- his superiors in men and artillery. When a spection, demanded it. He often had on unanimous opinion had been given against some homespun material, wearing a loose fighting, the general quietly remarked: “I sack-coat, and in the warm climate a broad- dismiss this council until after the battle,” brimmed hat. The night after his arrival which he won.-S. ARTHUR BENT, The North at Newmansville, so the story is told, he was American Review, September, 1892. sitting in some such old garb in the tavern The Drawer is favored with this anec. office which had, as in the old inns, a bar at hand. With him were Lieutenant-Colonel dote of General Zachary Taylor from one Ichabod B. Crane, Colonel Croghan Ker and who belonged to the Mississippi volunteers Captain D. D. Tompkins, all veterans of the and took part in the battle of Buena Vista. Just after the battle the general happened prairies and frontier, and about as roughly dressed as Colonel Taylor himself. Suddenly, to see a group of ten or twelve Mexicans on the arrival of the Eastern stage, there some distance off, apparently in consultation. appeared on the scene a sprightly young of- Turning to Captain Bragg, he said: “Captain ficer recently from the military academy, Bragg, d’ye see that bunch of men over rather fine in attire for a traveler, and not there?” Captain Bragg said that he did. a little confident in the manner of his ad. "Well, drive them away from there.” Bragg dress. His linen duster but poorly concealed aimed a cannon and fired. All of the Mexi- the bright buttons beneath. He was an army cans fell, ponies and all, except two, who officer and meant that it should be so known. put spurs to their nags and galloped away. He at first took but slight notice of the When General Taylor saw the result of the farmer-looking men who sat there talking, shot he took off his cap and, clapping it on his knee, exclaimed: “Good hit, Captain smoking or reading a chance paper. Then observing the oldest in appearance, he probed Bragg, by jingo! Set 'em up again.”—Har. him for some information. “Well, old man, per's Magazine, January, 1880. how are the Indians now?” “I believe, sir, A planter wrote Old Zack saying: "I they are giving considerable trouble." "Oh, have worked hard all my life and the net | they are, are they? Well, we'll fix matters product is a plantation with one hundred soon. I'm an officer and on the way to take negroes—slaves. Before I vote, I want to a hand in the war. How are the crops?” know how you stand on the slavery ques. “Very fair, sir, I understand, where the In- tion.” The general at once responded: “Sir, dians can keep quiet.” And so on with pert I, too, have worked faithfully these many questions from the youth and respectful an- years and the net product remaining to me swers from Taylor, who studiedly kept up is a plantation with three hundred negroes. the imputed character without betrayal. At Yours truly.”—HORACE GREELEY, “Recollec- last the young man grew generous. “Come tions of a Busy Life.” now, old codger, you and your neighbors take As we stood and looked at the great something—some beer with me." "Oh, cer. portrait at the Baton Rouge capitol, an old tainly.” They rose and solemnly pledged the resident told a strange story about it, to bold young warrior. About this time, the - 601 Tennyson OF THE GREAT Zachary Taylor, stage being ready, the veterans proceeded on Nothing, it is said, annoys General Tay. their journey, while the young officer stayed lor more than to have Mexicans come to him back for a brief good time before reporting and address him in Spanish. During the year to his command. A few days later he ar he has been in the country he has learned rived at Fort Drane, and at the first in but one word of Spanish and that is vamos, spection of his command, the senior com the imperative plural of "go”—“begone." mander present, what was his astonishment | One day, when encamped at Saltillo, being and mortification to see dressed in the full very busy in his tent, a Mexican came up uniform of a colonel the old farmer of the and commenced uttering a long complaint tavern and coming straight toward him. in Spanish. The old general turned to Major Colonel Taylor smiled when near him and Bliss and asked: “What in heaven's name said reflectively: “Come now, old codger.” does the man want?” Major Bliss explained The young man, after this mortifying inter- that the Mississippians appeared to be tak- view, asked some experienced officers, with no ing wood from his house. Now, the Mis- little trepidation, what he should do. They | sissippi regiment was a favorite with the laughingly said: "Oh, with the colonel, noth general, and, as they had always conducted ing." After a day or two the colonel called themselves well, he was in an unfortunate him up and, as the young man tried to mood to hear complaints against them. So, apologize for his rudeness, said: “Never waving his hands towards the Mexican, he judge a stranger by his clothes." The inci told him to "huevos, huevos, huevos” (“eggs, dent was never alluded to again by Colonel eggs, eggs”). He had heard some one use the Taylor.-GENERAL OLIVER OTIS HOWARD, word a minute before and he took it for his “General Taylor." favorite word vamos. When General Taylor in January last arrived here from Monterey, An anecdote is told of the general while he encamped near town, but was not pleased stationed at this fort [Bassinger, Florida] | that is as amusing as it is characteristic. with the location for an encampment. So, He had a favorite horse, which he named speaking on the subject with a number of | officers, who had called to pay their respects Claybank, a very fine animal and much at- to him, he told them that in a few days he tached to his master. But he did not fancy should move the whole army to aguardiente the musty corn often furnished the troops. (the Mexican for "brandy”). He meant The general used to partake of the same fare Agua Nueva.-H. MONTGOMERY, "Life of as his soldiers, and so did Claybank, so far as the corn was concerned, and they were Zachary Taylor.” both equally dainty. The general was very TENNYSON, Alfred, Baron Tennyson of fond of hominy, and musty corn made any. Aldworth, 1809-1892. English poet and thing but a pleasant diet. He would sub- peer. ject himself to the suspicion of "picking," to the prejudice of the soldiers, rather than to The laureateship, offered to Rogers in May, eat it, when not compelled to. Finding that remained vacant five months, during which time Lord John Russell as prime minister Claybank understood the business better than wrote to him to make inquiries of the char- he did, he would quietly let him loose among the sacks of corn. After smelling very care- acter and position of Alfred Tennyson, of whose poems he seems to have known little. fully, the sagacious animal would commence The author of "In Memoriam” must naturally gnawing a hole in one that pleased him. The have suspected that the honor would fall general would very patiently watch the maneuver until he saw that Claybank had upon himself. After a lapse of time he de- made a choice, then calling his servants, he clared that he was not thinking of the sub- would direct them to have Claybank stabled ject when he dreamed that Prince Albert came to him and kissed him on the cheek, immediately, for fear he might do mischief; when he remarked to himself, “Very kind, "but,” he would say, "as the animal has but very German.” He had not quite awak- eaten a hole in that bag, take a quart or so ened from the sleep in which this dream pre- of the corn and make a dish of hominy." sented itself when a letter was brought to his The trick was played for some time, but at bedside, dated Windsor, November 5, 1850, last it became known that whenever Clay. from the prince offering him the laureateship. bank gnawed into a sack sweet corn was to be Never a man of impulse, he spent the day found there, and the incident became a in considering it, and occupied himself in standing joke and it was enjoyed by none part in writing two letters-probably an more heartily than by the subject of it him epistolary exercise-one accepting and the self. other refusing the proposal. One of his first Tennyson 602 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES ideas regarding it seems to have been that always say; reaching once even the bar- it was worth merely one hundred a year and barity, as I could not help calling it, that if that the first year's income would have to Horace had left an autobiography, and the be spent in paying for a patent and buying single manuscript were in his hands, he would a court suit. A consultation with friends throw it into the fire. And, consistently, he followed and he accepted their advice. In would never read such lives. the biography written by his son we are told that the poet would joke over the sub- It was also his way that when he had ject and say: "In the end I accepted the entered on some scene of special beauty or honor because during dinner Venables told grandeur, after enjoying it together, he me that if I became poet laureate I should would always withdraw wholly from sight always when I dined out be offered the liver and study the view as it were in a little wing of a fowl.” He was spared the ex- artificial solitude. Unless he worshiped pense of purchasing a court suit, for on mak- thus "in the temple's inner shrine" the spirit of the scene could not fully reveal itself.- ing his appearance at court to kiss his sov- ereign's hand on his appointment, he wore F. T. PALGRAVE, “Lord Tennyson, A Memoir that which Samuel Rogers had lent for a by his Son." similar occasion to Wordsworth.-FITZGERALD He was full of compunction at once hav- MOLLOY, “Victoria Regina." ing shown a poor man what he thought an It is interesting to know that when inconsistency in the gospel, lest he should Tennyson was presented to the queen he wore have weakened his faith in the Bible.- the identical clothes, buckles, stockings and FATHER HORNEYTIWAITE, “Lord Tennyson, A sword which Wordsworth had worn years be Memoir by his Son." fore when he was presented on a similar He was quite indignant with me when, occasion. B. R. Hayden says that Moxon, in writing about Byron's slovenly versifica- the publisher, had hard work to make the tion and comparing it with Tennyson's ex- dress fit the author of "The Excursion.” “It quisite polish of phrase, I added that after was a squeeze, but by pulling and hauling we all Byron had a far higher intellectual power. got him in.” We are not told how it fared —FREDERIC HARRISON, "Autobiographical with Tennyson, who is himself by no means Memoirs." a small-sized man.-JULIUS H. WARD, The Atlantic Monthly, September, 1879. Lord Houghton I knew very well and it Peel expressed his regret that he was un- was he who took me to see Tennyson. In- able to make any permanent provision for directly I was the means of preventing that Tennyson, "every shilling of the miserable poet from being in a way imprisoned in his pittance granted to the crown for civil list own house, which, with the characteristic pensions" being appropriated; but offered to insouciance of genius, he had built on a contribute two hundred pounds to relieve the hill at Haslemere, and from which there was embarrassments in which the poet was in- no direct communication by carriage road volved. This was declined. Six months with the surrounding neighborhood. Under later, September, 1845, the prime minister these sad circumstances I approached the wrote to Arthur Hallam's father, who had Lord Egmont of the day, a great friend of also interested himself in striving to obtain mine, to whom the property in the imme- an annuity for Tennyson, to say that a pen- diate vicinity belonged, and he accorded his sion of two hundred a year would be granted permission for the desired road to be made to the poet. In acknowledging this Tennyson up to the poet's domain. Had this not been done, the unfortunate bard would have had wrote to Peel: “I accept your offer and, be- lieve me (though I am not one who says to go six miles around in order to reach the much), am deeply sensible of your kindness, outer world.-LADY DOROTHY NEVILL, "Remi- niscences.” and not ungrateful for that delicacy which doubles an obligation in conferring it." My father was dining one night at the Though he subsequently became a man of Oxford and Cambridge Club with George considerable means, it is characteristic of Venables, Frank Lushington, Tennyson and the poet that he never resigned the pension two or three others. After dinner the poet which brought him between the year 1845 insisted on putting his feet on the table, and that of his death in 1892 nearly ten thou- tilting back his chair, more Americano. There sand pounds.-MOLLOY. were strangers in the room and he was ex. “The poet's work is in his life and no postulated with for his uncouthness, but in one has the right to ask for more,” he would | vain. “Do put your feet down," pleaded his 603 Tennyson OF THE GREAT host. “Why should I?” retorted Tennyson; are the words in my edition of the poem." "I am very comfortable as I am.” “Every He answered quickly: "Oh, the words are all one is staring at you,” said another. “Let right-quite correct." "Then what is wrong?" them stare," replied the poet placidly. “Al- | For answer he said: "Have you ever been on fred,” said my father, "people will think you a Welsh mountain ?" "Yes; on Snowdon.” are Longfellow.” Down went the feet.-REV. “Did you hear them blast a slate quarry ?” CHARLES H. E. BROOKFIELD, “Random Rem "Yes; in Wales, and also on Coniston in Cum- iniscences." berland.” “And did you notice the sound ?” I was altogether at fault and said: "Won't Reading his Own Poems you tell me-explain to me? I really want to He had just received from the printer understand.” He spoke the last line and fur- some proof sheets of his "Idylls of the King” | ther explanation was u ther explanation was unnecessary. The whole and then and there he chanted the story of | gist was in the pronunciation of the word Enid and Elaine: chanted is the true word "bluff,” twice repeated. He spoke the word to apply to his recitations. He had a theory | with a sort of quick propulsive effort as that poetry should always be given out with though throwing the word from his mouth. the rhythm accentuated and the music of "I thought any one would understand that," the verse strongly emphasized and he did it | he added. It was the exact muffled sound with a power that was marvelous.—ANNIE which the explosion charge makes in the FIELDS, Harper's Magazine, January, 1893. curves of the steep valleys. This is a good He read as a poet-and a lyric, not a instance of Tennyson's wonderful power of dramatic, poet—with a marked emphasis on onomatopæia.-BRAM STOKER, “Personal Rec- the meter rather than on the sense, with a ollections of Henry Irving." sonorous monotone, unvaried by those There in the stern of the boat sat the changes, breaks and modulations of voice laureate in his familiar black slouched hat which are generally considered beauties in and his long black cloak about him, the rain the reading of every-day life. . . . Another pouring and the wind whistling through the peculiarity of Tennyson's reading was the darkness, while he recited his poems to the open pronunciation of closed vowels, by which rough old fisherman.-C. K. TUCKERMAN, he sounded "a" in "black" like "a" in | "Personal Recollections of Notable People." “father” and so on with other vowels. ... I was fortunate enough on one occasion to One of the pleasantest things which has hear him read "Maud" nor shall I soon for happened to us here is the coming down on get how the heroine's name boomed in my us of the laureate, who, being in London for ears for hours after and thundered at inter three or four days from the Isle of Wight, vals through my dreams.-ALICE MEYNELL, spent two of them with us, dined with us, The Irish Monthly, October, 1903. smoked with us, opening his heart to us (and the second bottle of port), and ended by In the course of our conversation some- reading “Maud" through from end to end and thing cropped up which suggested a line in going away at half past two in the morn- one of his poems, “The Golden Year,” and I ing. If I had had a heart to spare, cer- quoted it. “Go on," said Tennyson, who tainly he would have won mine. He is cap- seemed to like to know that any one quoting tivating with his frankness, confidingness him knew more than the bare quotation. I and unexampled naïveté. Think of his stop- happened to know that poem and went on ping “Maud" every now and then: "There's a to the end of the lyrical portion. Then I beautiful touch! That's very tender! How stopped. “Go on,” he said again; so I spoke beautiful that is !"-EVAN J. CUTHBERTSON, the narrative bit to the end, supposed to be "Tennyson," quoting a letter from Mrs. spoken by the writer: "He spoke and high | Browning. above, I heard them blast the steep slate quarry and the great echo flap and buffet At luncheon in a few words Mr. Glad- round the hills, from bluff to bluff.” Ten stone proposed the health of the king and nyson listened attentively. When I spoke the queen of Denmark, the king thanking him in last line he shook his head and said, "No." English; he then proposed the health of the "Surely that is correct ?" I said. "No." czar and czarina, the emperor returning There was in this something I did not under: thanks in French. I kept in the background, stand, for I was certain I had given the but the Princess of Wales spoke to me and words correctly. So I ventured to say: "Of introduced me to the king of Greece. After course, one must not contradict an author luncheon it was proposed that Tennyson about his own work, but I am certain those should read something, and on his saying Tennyson 604 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that "one man could lead a horse to water, rear view of him bending to smell a violet but ten could not make him drink,” the in its bed, he looks despairingly at the Princess of Wales said: "Oh, but I can," heads; he frowns at them in vain. They and led him up the little room, where, sur stare, they make audible comments about rounded by all these crowned heads, with his him. “Why does he stand there like a post ?" great wide-awake on his head, he read “The says one. "Like a Stoughton bottle," says Grandmother.” another. “What queer buttons he has !” “And where could he have found that cloak ?" Mr. Tennyson, who had given one the im- they say. They bring their dinners and lie pression of being somewhat farouche and in wait for him. The land around is tram. rough at first, had soon softened down. We pled, the grass is killed and the earth strewn had many pleasant conversations together with dinner papers, crusts and empty beer and he had begun reading to our small party, bottles. A path lies about the walls, trod- at the instigation of Miss Tennant, in the den hard as adamant. Most of these tourists smoking room in the mornings and evenings. are Americans.—Lippincott's Magazine, Jan- He was very much offended on one occasion uary, 1879. by detecting Mr. Gladstone apparently asleep during his reading. Oddly enough, he pre Among other things he told of the people ferred his dramas to his other poems, though who waylaid him, the incidents being some- he was fond of reading “Maud” and “The times amusing. Two men, for example, hav- Grandmother.”—ALGERNON WEST, “Recollec ing got into his garden separately, one tions." climbed a tree at the approach of the other. The other, seeing him, cried out softly: "I One night, after he had been reading twig,” and immediately climbed another tree. aloud several of his poems, all of them short, And yet he declared that no man was more he passed one of them to me and said: "What accessible to any one who had reason to see is the matter with that poem ?” I read it him.-MONCURE D. CONWAY, “Autobiography and answered: "I see nothing to complain and Memories." of.” He laid his finger on two stanzas of it, the third and the fifth, and said: “Read it He was an ardent admirer of Tennyson's again.” After doing so I said: “It has now poetry and knew many of his poems by heart. more completeness and totality about it; but So anxious was he to make the laureate's the two stanzas you cover are among its personal acquaintance that the American best.” “No matter," he said, "they make the publisher of the poet's works strained a point poem too long-backed and they must go at in giving the enthusiastic young man a warm any sacrifice.” “Every short poem,” he re letter of introduction, which he believed marked, “should have a definite shape, like would ensure him a kindly reception. The a curve, sometimes a single, sometimes a letter was presented to Tennyson at his home double one, assumed by a severed tress or in Freshwater, Isle of Wight, but the bearer the rind of an apple when flung on the floor.” was greatly disappointed at the cold, al- -AUBREY DE VERE, “Reception of Tennyson's most inhospitable greeting which he first re- Early Poems." ceived. Tennyson's manner was not uncivil, but it clearly indicated that the visitor was The Annoying Visitor regarded by him as one of those innumerablo No house is besieged as this house, Far- | bores who intrude upon the retirement of ingford. Tennyson has been obliged to build literary men for the sole purpose of gratify- a high wall about it, with locked gates, to ing a morbid and idle curiosity. My cousin keep curious people away. The locked-out felt that under the circumstances the shorter crowd prowl outside and look over. When he made his visit the better, but he was de- Tennyson comes out to walk in his garden the termined to let Tennyson know that he was crowd rushes frantically to the side where an ardent admirer of his poetry and that he he is. Photographers stand ready at all had come to see him as a pilgrim comes to angles to catch pictures of him. Some of a shrine where his heart and sympathies may them have made holes in the wall and in find expression. He, therefore, in a few serted the tubes of their cameras therein, words, thanked the great man for the priv. where they remain stationary, their owners ilege of meeting one who had so largely con- hoping and watching for a chance to take tributed to his intellectual enjoyment. Ten- the poet's picture. When he is discovered and nyson scanned the features of his guest, as if the cameras put in readiness and the photog searching to know how much sincerity there raphers take aim, happy if they can secure might be in his avowal and, to test the mat. a glimpse of the corner of his cloak or a | ter, asked which of his poems he preferred 605 Tennyson OF THE GREAT and what particular passages he chanced to son raged about it. Why didn't some one remember. My cousin could not have desired leave him fifty thousand pounds on condi. a more gratifying question and thereupon re tion of his taking the name and arms of ferred to his favorites and quoted line upon Smith ? He would do so at once. “No; you line and then longer passages with such un wouldn't," I put in. “I would do it and feigned enthusiasm that it was evident the never write another line.”—The Atlantic poet had before him a pure and unadulter Monthly, February, 1897. ated disciple. Tennyson's tone and manner She observed that Dr. Johnson “often exhibited a magical transformation. His face stirred his lemonade with his finger and that relaxed its inquisitorial severity; he settled often dirty.” My father was very angry himself in his chair as if desirous of further with her for relating such a story about a acquaintance with the young American and great man and said: “The dirt is in her fell into a free and easy conversation on own heart.”—LORD TENNYSON, "Memoir by matters and things in general. When his his Son.” guest rose to leave, Tennyson would not lis- ten to it, but insisted upon his remaining to Among the men whom Tennyson knew dinner and passing the night. ... After din best and liked best was Lord Houghton, the ner the poet armed himself with smoking “Milnes" and the “Dickey Milnes” of some of pipes and a bottle of spirits and conducted his letters and of all his early life. ... This his guest upstairs to his study, where he oddly assorted pair, on a certain evening, now threw himself at full length upon the rug many years ago, were dining together at the before the fire, and the two passed the even- house of a common friend, and Houghton be- ing, well into the night, discussing poetry took himself to his favorite amusement. He principally the laureate's own poems—which sat directly opposite Tennyson, and at the he recited with sonorous unction.—TUCKER moment either of them spoke everybody else MAN. became silent. “Tennyson,” said Houghton in his easy way, for no Englishman was ever The poet expressly desired me not to lighter in hand, “I have got a number of make a sketch of himself. ... The prohibi- tion did not extend to his favorite dog. ... your earlier unpublished poems in your own handwriting, and as soon as you are dead I Tennyson, in fact, wished me to sketch his shall print them.” canine friend, an operation which I performed Tennyson stared grimly with some difficulty, as the dog was not a at his tormentor and, after a pause which fixed everybody's attention, answered: “You patient sitter and had to be restrained by two ladies of the house while I attempted to se- beast.” It was said half-humorously, half- angrily, but it silenced Houghton as if it cure his portrait.-F. G. KITTON, The Gentle- had been a blow.–GEORGE W. SMALLEY, man's Magazine, January, 1895. “Studies of Men.” Some Prompt Replies He pointed out with pride a bed of Lo- On one occasion the laureate was in the belia cardinalis and Salvia patens. Speaking rooms of an eminent astronomer, possessor of of the latter I called it "salvia pätens,” pro- a fine telescope. Through this the laureate nouncing the “a” long. "What's that?” he was able to divide the Milky Way into the asked. “Salvia pătens," I replied. “Oh, 'sal- separate systems of which it is composed. In via pătens'; if you had said that at first I characteristic silence Tennyson gazed his fill, should have understood you." ... "How do then, turning away, lighted his pipe and sat you pronounce the name of that flower ?” he down, observing simply: "I don't think much asked on the same occasion. “Clemătis," I of our English country families."--The Gen- answered. “I am glad of it,” he said. “Some tleman's Magazine, November, 1892. people " it is impossible to convey the sig. As an illustration of his delightful sim nificance with which he uttered the words, plicity, it may be recorded that when the "some people call it 'clemātis.'”—ALFRED conversation turned upon the House of Lords AUSTIN, The National Review, January, 1893. he suddenly exclaimed: "I was just going to He was scornfully indifferent to super- say what I would do if I were a lord, and ficial appearances, especially as to his per- then I remembered that I am one."-HERBERT sonal appearance. On one occasion, when Paul, The New Review, November, 1892. William Allingham was visiting him and they About that time the newspapers con were holding a candle over some books and tained a story of some one who had fallen pictures, Tennyson's hair caught fire and heir to a fortune on condition of his assum- | Allingham attempted to put it out. “Oh, ing the “name and arms of Smith.” Tenny. | never mind," said the poet, "it depends on Tennyson Thiers 608 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES metaphor he alluded to the Greek poems, any period at all, for it is probably an in- “Osnone,” “The Lotus Eaters," etc. “I was vention-is to be assigned a story of Louis told of this,” related Tennyson himself, "and XIV. and Tyrconnel. The French king, afterwards repeated it to Carlyle. 'I am told struck by the Irishman's resemblance to him- that is what you say of me. He gave a kind self, pleasantly inquired whether his mother of guffaw. 'Eh, that wasn't a very luminous ever had been at court, 'the court of the king, description of you,' he answered.”—KATHER our father.' No, sire,' answered Tyrconnel, INE TYNAN, The Irish Monthly, March, 1893. 'but my father was.' A likeness can be seen between some portraits of Tyrconnel and of He then told some anecdotes of a visit to Louis XIV.” A writer in Notes and Queries, Scotland. After he had left an inn in the February 21, 1863, says: "Lord Stair was island of Skye the landlord was asked, “Did one day in company with Louis, who, in a he know whom he had staying in his house; bantering way, said to him that it had been it was the poet Tennyson.” He replied, “Lor', remarked that Lord Stair resembled him in to think of that! And sure I thoucht he was a shentleman." Near Stirling the same person. The innuendo could not be mistaken, remark was made to the keeper of a hotel but it signally failed and the retort was be- where he had stayed. “Do you ken who you yond the power of any rejoinder. 'That may well be, your majesty, as my father was very had wi' you t'other night?" "Naa, but he intimate at the court of Louis XIII.' (his was a pleesant shentleman." "It was Ten- father).” A writer in the Quarterly Review, nyson, the poet.” “An' wha may he be ?” April, 1861, says: “Thus the current story "Oh, he is a writer of verses, sich as ye see is, or was, that Bandesson, mayor of St. Diz- i' the papers." "Noo! to think o' that! ier, was so like Henry IV., that the royal jeest a public writer, an' I gied him ma best guards saluted him as he passed. Why, bedroom."—WILLIAM KNIGHT, Blackwood's friend,' said Henry, 'your mother must have Edinburgh Magazine, August, 1897. visited Bearn.' 'No,' replied the mayor; 'it He told me he had often thought of mak. was my father who occasionally resided there.' ing a collection of the hundred best stories. This story, which is also told of Louis XIV., "Tell me some of them," I asked. Whereupon is related by Macrobius of Augustus." Stu- he told me quite a number, all excellent. dents of the classics may find what is perhaps Such as the following: A noble of the court the origin of this story in “Valerius Maxi- of Louis XIV. was extremely like the king, mus," IX., c. 14: “Proconsule enim dicente, who, on its being pointed out to him, sent mirare se quapropter suit tam similis esset, for him and asked him, “Was your mother cum pater suus in eam provinciam nunquam ever at court?" Bowing low, he replied, “No, accessessit: At meus, inquit, Roman fre- sir; but my father was.” Again: Colonel quenter accessit.”) Jack Towers was a great crony of the Prince Regent. He was with his regiment at Ports. THIERS, Louis Adolphe, 1797-1877. French mouth on one occasion and was in command statesman and historian. of the guard of honor when the prince was A prize was offered for competition in 1814, crossing the Isle of Wight. The prince had the subject of which was a eulogy of Vau- not thought of his being there and was sur: vernarges, by the Academy of Aix. Thiers prised when he saw him. After his usual determined that he would compete for this manner he began to banter: “Why, Jack, honor and accordingly sent in his manuscript they tell me you are the biggest blackguard in the customary manner, accompanied by a in Portsmouth," to which the other replied, sealed packet containing the name of the “I trust your royal highness has not come author, not to be opened except the composi- here to take away my character.” Again: tion was declared successful. It had, how- Silly Billy, the sobriquet of the Duke of ever, transpired that the author of the piece, Gloucester, said to a friend, “You are as near which was beyond comparison the best of a fool as you can be.” He too bowed as he those tendered, was the turbulent little Jaco- answered, “Far be it from me to contradict bin, who had excited to such a degree the your royal highness.”—STOKER. (The first fears and hostility of the professors, who mentioned of the above stories affords an ex were chiefly royalists. It was consequently cellent exemplification of the way anecdotes declared that the prize would not be granted of great similarity travel along through cen to any of the pieces, but would be postponed turies. According to Hamilton, Grammont to the following year. When the next year replied, “Nor my father either.” Philip H. arrived the piece of Thiers was again offered Sergeant, “Little Jennings and Fighting Dick as before, but, to the infinite delight of the Talbot,” says: "Perhaps to this period, if to l superiors, a composition had been trans- Thiers Thomas, General 610 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES he wished for peace. “Yes, indeed; badly." | said the commissary with a sigh, “there go Whether he knew who he was. "No." Well, all the pâtés, the cold fowls, the pastry, the he was Monsieur Thiers; did he know about fruit and everything else that was not con- him? The man said “No” to that too. Then sumed last night.”—E. A. VIZETELLY, "Ro- a neighbor came up and the old countryman publicàn France." asked him who might M. Thiers be, and was It was always very touching to see the told that he must be one of them “from the care with which M. Thiers's wife and sister- chamber.” Hatzfeld said that Thiers was in-law ministered to him. The story has obviously vexed that they knew no more than often been told how M. Thiers, having been that about him.—MORITZ BUSCH, “Bismarck forbidden by his doctors to eat his favorite in the Franco-Prussian War." Provençal dish of brandade (fish cooked with In 1833 M. Thiers made a ten days' garlic), M. Mignet, the historian, used to journey in England and pledged himself to smuggle some of this mess enclosed in a tin Louis Philippe to learn in that time all that box into his friend's study, and what a pretty was worth knowing about the politics, com- scene there was one day when Madame Thiers merce, revenues, religion, arts, sciences and detected the two frères Provenceaux enjoying social economy of the nation. While here he the contraband dainty together.—Temple Bar, wrote to a gentleman connected with the May, 1884. Treasury the following note: “My dear Sir He used to mix oil liberally with his -Would you give me a short quarter of an food and I remember, at a dinner at the hour to explain to me the financial system | Duchess Gallieras, a fair-sized bottle of oil of your country? Always yours, T.”-JOHN was especially placed next his plate and he TIMBS, “Century of Anecdote." consumed it all.–ROWLAND BLENNERHASSET, Cornhill Magazine, January, 1903. Just before Louis Napoleon was elected president of the French nation, two eminent M. Thiers, on entering one of the bureaux statesmen, M. Mole and M. Thiers, invited of the National Assembly recently, was fol- the prince to visit them at the house of M. | lowed by a large dog, which jumped up bark- Thiers, in order that they might make known ing into the president's face. An officious to him the elements and tendencies of modern clerk immediately jumped up from his desk society in France. “The fundamental prin- and dealt the animal such a terrific blow on ciple of modern society," said M. Thiers, "is the head with a ruler that he rolled back the civil power. The military spirit is dead howling on the mat. The clerk, triumphant and cannot be revived. You appear to have in the deed, exclaimed, “No dog shall harm a chance of being nominated for president of our valued president while I am by." To the French republic, and it seems desirable which the president replied in a furious tone to us that you should prepare yourself for as he rushed toward the animal, "But, fool, that eminent position-by cutting off your dolt, idiot, the dog is mine!”- Every Satur- mustachios. If M. Mole or myself were to be day, February, 1872. nominated president, neither of us would THOMAS, George Henry, 1816-1870. Amer. wear mustachios. It therefore seems to us ican general. necessary that you shave off yours.” The prince declined and the result is known to Returning from Cleveland on the train from the world.-Harper's Magazine, September, the dedication of the Garfield memorial, in 1857. May, 1890, Mrs. James and myself found our- selves in company with General Sherman as He informed us that Madame Thiers and a fellow traveler. During the journey Gen- her sister, Mademoiselle Dosne, invariably re eral Sherman conversed freely of the differ- turned to Paris on the morrow of a recep ent commanders he had known, both on the tion in order to lunch off the remains of the Union and the Confederate side, placing dinner or supper of the previous night. “The Johnston and Longstreet at the head of the journey costs them nothing," the commissary | Confederates. After speaking of Grant, Sher- continued, "for they travel at the expense of idan, MacPherson and others in the highest the state and, when they have lunched, they terms, he said, that after all, in many re- carry all the food which remains uneaten to spects Thomas was a typical soldier. “Old Versailles. Oh, that is quite correct-judge Tom, as we always called him, was a class- for yourselves.” On looking into the court mate of mine at West Point, and was always yard from the window we saw several of the a thorough gentleman, thoughtful and re- palace servants loading Madame Thiers's spectful of other people's feelings, and who brougham with baskets and parcels. “Ah," | knew not only how to command but how to a -- - 613 Thomas, Goneral Trumbull, Jonathan OF THE GREAT Chancellor Thurlow, by the way, when upon him an honorary degree. Toombs is staying at a country house where a bishop represented as having spurned it with char- was a fellow guest, was asked by the latter acteristic scorn. "No," said he, “when I was if he would come and hear him preach on unknown and friendless, you sent me out dig. Sunday. "No," said Thurlow, “I am obliged graced and refused me a diploma. Now that to listen to your damned nonsense in the I would honor the degree I do not want it." House of Lords, but there I can answer you, -PLEASANT A. STOVALL, "Robert Toombs.” and I'm damned if I am going to hear you Among the thousands who have read when I cannot reply.”—R. D. McGIBBON, The the speech of Vice-President Stephens of Green Bay, October, 1905. Georgia against secession, made November 14, Lord Eldon used to relate that on some 1860, there are probably few who have heard occasion, at the close of his address, Lord of an amusing incident that followed it. At Thurlow said to him, “I was with you, the close of the speech, the leader of the until I heard your argument.”—TWISS. opposition party, Hon. Robert Toombs, arose After Lord Thurlow was removed from and, after complimenting Mr. Stephens as one of the purest of patriots, moved that the his office as Lord Chancellor, during which he meeting give three cheers for him, which enjoyed so much the confidence of George was done. Governor Hershel V. Johnson, who III., the Prince of Wales seems to have culti- was present, met Mr. Toombs on their re- vated his friendship as much as possible, and turn to the hotel and said to him in sub- upon all occasions requested his advice, stance, “Sir, your action to-night, coming though not often acting according to it. Up- from so prominent a secessionist, deserves all on Macmahon waiting upon him from the praise and I for one cannot forbear to con- prince upon some occasion to request his ad- gratulate you upon such handsome conduct vice upon some matter that was thought and admirable behavior.” Toombs put on important, Thurlow said, “Tell the prince I that droll look, which always precedes his am always ready to offer his royal highness best hits, and said dryly, “Yes, I always the best advice I am able to give and that behave myself at a funeral."—Harper's Mag- I observe that his royal highness is always azine, December, 1868. ready to ask it; but that it may be as well to know before I give it whether there is Robert Toombs, in a conversation relat- anybody that means to follow it."-LORD ing to the early part of the rebellion, and ELDON, "Anecdote Book.” some of the grotesque incidents connected with it, said, “Yes; we had a queer govern- TOOMBS, Robert, 1810-1885. American ment. I remember one day a secret agent general and statesman. of the English government stepped up to me One night, the story goes, the vigilant proc and said, 'Mr. Secretary, where will I find tor actually found young Toombs playing the state department ?' 'In my hat, sir, and cards with some of his friends. Fearing a the archives in my coat pocket.' And that reprimand, Toombs sought his guardian, who was true, too. We were doing business on a happened to be in Athens on a visit from very small scale at that time and it natural- his home in Greensboro. It is not certain ly seemed strange to the representative of a that young Toombs communicated the enor great government that we hadn't a preten- mity of his offense, but he obtained leave to tious building for our departments.”—Har. apply to Dr. Waddell for a letter of dis per's Magazine, September, 1881. charge. The learned but severe scholar had not received the proctor's report and gave TRUMBULL, Jonathan, 1710-1785. Ameri- the young student a certificate of honorable can statesman. dismissal. Later in the day the president Brother Jonathan.—The origin of this term, met young Toombs walking around the as applied to the United States, is given in campus. “Robert Toombs," said he, "you took a recent number of the Norwich Courier. The advantage of me early this morning. I did editor says it was communicated by one of not then know you had been caught at the the most intelligent gentlemen and sterling card table last evening.” Toombs straight Whigs in Connecticut, now upwards of eighty ened up and informed the doctor that he was years of age, who was an active participator no longer addressing a student of his college in the scenes of the revolution. The story is but a free-born American citizen. ... When as follows: When General Washington, after Robert Toombs became prominent in Georgia being appointed Commander of the Army of there is a story that his state university, in the Revolutionary War, came to Massachu- order to win back his friendship, conferred | setts to organize it and make preparations Trumbull, Jonathan Van Buren, President 614 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES for the defense of the country, he found a land.—Supplement to Courant, Hartford, De- great destitution of ammunition and other cember 12, 1846. means necessary to meet the powerful foo he had to contend with, and great difficulty to TURENNE, Henrt de la Tour d'Auvergne obtain them. If attacked in such a condi 1611-1675. French general. tion, the cause at once might be hopeless. The deputies of a great metropolis in Ger- On one occasion, at that anxious period, a many once offered the great Turenne one consultation of officers and others was had, hundred thousand crowns not to pass with his when it seemed no way could be devised to army through the city. “Gentlemen," said make such preparation as was necessary. His he, "I cannot in conscience accept your excellency, Jonathan Trumbull, the elder, was money, as I had no intention to pass that then governor of the state of Connecticut, way."-PERCY "Anecdotes." on whose judgment and aid the general placed the greatest reliance, and remarked, “We There is a story related of Turenne—the must consult Brother Jonathan on the sub- greatest soldier of the Bourbons—which, if ject." The general did so, and the governor not true, is ben trovato. Of a nervous was successful in supplying many of the temperament, his legs, on the eve of action, wants of the army. When difficulties after trembled to such an extent as to make it dif. wards arose, and the army was spread over ficult to mount his horse. Looking at them the country, it became a byword, “We must contemptuously, he said, "If you could fore- consult Brother Jonathan.” The term “Yan see the danger into which I am going to take kee" is still applied to a portion, but Brother you, you would tremble more."--GENERAL Jonathan has become a designation of the | RICHARD TAYLOR, The North American Re- whole country, as “John Bull” has for Eng. | view, March, 1878. U URSINS, Anna Marie Orsini de la Tremouille to enter the chamber. The other night the Noirmontier, Princess of, 1642-1722. Louis lamp went out because I had spilled half XIV.'s representative in Spain. the oil. In the morning I did not know She introduced dramatic entertainments where to find the windows, which I had not where Molière's wit was heard for the first seen uncovered owing to our arrival at the time. What a contrast his plays must have place after dark. I thought I should have formed to the old Spanish dramas! These broken my nose against the walls, and there were long and solemn and rather resembled were the king of Spain and myself jostling a religious service than a comedy. If an ac- against each other in the dark for nearly a tor made a confession or uttered a saint's quarter of an hour, feeling about for the shut- name the spectators fell on their knees and ters.-Hill, quoting letter from the Princess prayed aloud. Even the social character to Madame de Noailles. of the audience was destroyed by a strict The king and queen had sent their off- separation of the sexes, who sat on either ciers de bouche to prepare a magnificent ban. side of a thick curtain hung down the middle quet and here the Princess des Ursins was of the theater.-CONSTANCE HILL, "Princess received by the French ambassador, by Mar- des Ursins.” shal Tesse, by several foreign ministers and Madame de Maintenon would laugh if | by a prodigious number of grandees. Strange she knew the particulars of my responsibili. to say the heroine of all this ovation could ties. Pray tell her that it is I alone who is not be present at this banquet given in her privileged to take the king of Spain's (Philip honor, as the rules of Spanish court etiquette V.) dressing gown from him when he gets forbade women to eat in the presence of men. into bed and to present it to him with his The princess, therefore, partook of the repast slippers when he rises. So far I do all with in the privacy of her own apartment; whilst patience, but it is ludicrous that each night, | the French ambassador and Marshal Tesse when the king enters the queen's chamber, did the honors of the feast.-HILL. the Count de Bénévente presents me with his majesty's sword and with a lamp whose But what seems certain, but rather oil I generally upset all over my clothes. strange at first sight, was that Madame des The king would never rise if I did not draw Ursins at over sixty years of age still had aside the curtains of his bed, for it would be | lovers. “She has morals on a see-saw," wrote considered sacrilege for any one but myself | Louville to the Duc and Duchesse de Beau- 615 Trumbull, Jonathan OF THE GREAT Van Buren, President villiers. The Sieur d’Aubigny, a sort of out her knowledge. She intercepted one of steward of whom she made an equerry, oc these despatches and there read the particu- cupied in the Retiro an apartment adjoin. lars of her relations to d'Aubigny; but what ing that of the princess, at the windows of piqued her most was a final remark of the which he was one day seen to brush his ambassador's that many persons thought teeth. ... This d'Aubigny has been men them married. The great lady rose to her tioned as the principal cause of Madame des full height, and in her wrathful indignation Ursins's first downfall. After having caused wrote on the margin of the despatch, "As the dismissal of Cardinal d'Estrées, whose for marriage, No!” This at least is the place was filled by his nephew, the Abbé story that circulated. The despatch, thus d'Estrées, Madame des Ursins discovered that commented upon, went to the courier and the latter, contrary to agreement, was writ must have reached Louis XIV.-SAINTE- ing despatches to the court of France with: | BEUVE, "Causeries du Lundi.” VALLEJO, Mariano Guadaloup, 1808-1890. committalism and complaining that "a plain Governor-General of California. answer to a plain question was never yet “I like the Yankees,” he used to say. “I elicited from him." "I'll wager the cham- would rather be swindled by them than by | pagne for the company,” he added, "that one anybody else; they do it so scientifically." of us shall go down to the cabin and ask Mr. Van Buren the simplest question which can One morning as General Vallejo came be thought of and he will evade a direct into the president's room, Mr. Lincoln looked answer. Yes, I'll give him leave, too, to tell up from the table and asked, “General, would Mr. Van Buren why he asks the question and you like to go to the front ?” “Oh, yes,” was that there is a bet depending on his reply." the ready answer. “Very well. A messenger This seemed fair enough. One of the party starts at once with important letters for the was deputed to go down and try the experi- commanding general. You may go with him." ment. He found Mr. Van Buren, whom he In a few moments an engine with a single knew well, in the saloon and said to him, car attached steamed out of the depot and "Mr. Van Buren, some gentlemen on the took its way southward. Faster and faster upper deck have been accusing you of non- it went, until the rails fairly smoked under committalism and have just laid a wager that the swift-revolving wheels. Through the you would not give a plain answer to the windows the Virginia landscape seemed only | simplest question and they deputed me to try a blur. To walk across the car was almost the fact. Now, sir, allow me to ask you, an impossibility. The native Californian had Where does the sun rise?” Mr. Van Buren's traveled a little by rail and this first ex brow contracted; he hesitated and then said, perience in a lightning train was by no means “The terms east and west, sir, are conven- unalloyed bliss. When he next saw the tional; but I- " "That will do," interrupted president, Mr. Lincoln asked, “General, how the interrogator; "we've lost the bet.”- did you like your ride?" "Mr. President,” | Harper's Magazine, April, 1868. was the answer, “I have often tried to When Mr. Van Buren had first been imagine what must be the feelings of a lost elected to Congress, Rufus King, of his state, soul while the devil is whisking it off to his had said to G. F. Mercer, also a member, own dominions. I know now. I thought I “Within two weeks Mr. Van Buren will have was going to hell; but I had one satisfaction become perfectly acquainted with the views -I was going in good style."-EMILY and feelings of every member, yet no man BROWN POWELL, Harper's Magazine, April, 1893. will know his."-BEN: PERLEY POORE, “Per- ley's Reminiscences.” VAN BUREN, Martin, 1782-1862. Ameri. I recall one of the incidents of our can statesman. dinner at Lindenwald which serves to illus- Coming down the river on an Albany trate the unconventional relations which ex- steamer many years ago a party of gentle. isted between the ex-president and his son. men were discussing Mr. Van Buren's claims The plate set before me for one of the courses to popular support-some praising him, oth- was most exquisitely decorated and, with ers condemning him. On touching at Kin: the gaucherie of an experienced curiosity, I derhook Mr. Van Buren came on board. One could not resist the temptation to turn it of the party had been dwelling on his non. | over and look for the maker's mark. "Is yın Buren, President Victoria 616 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES that not a beautiful piece of china ?” said nightly reading. He exacted with unsparing the prince. “It has a history. It belongs to rigor from his secretaries that in the per- a dinner set made at Sèvres for the king of formance of their task they should always Italy before the fall of Napoleon. I dis. give preference to dissentient or hostile criti- covered it in Paris and, although it was cism.-—-JAMES MONTGOMERY SMITH, Macmil- expensive, I purchased it and presented it to lan's Magazine, 1878. my father. Ought he not to be grateful for such a magnificent present ?” “Indeed I am The king was charmed with d'Azeglio's grateful,” said the ex-president; “perhaps polish and talents in so many diverse lines; more grateful for this than for another pres- the minister, much older than the king, was delighted with Victor Emmanuel's frank en- ent you made me about this time.” “Another thusiasms. It was he who gave the king his present? What was it? I do not remember proudest title. One day he remarked, “There it,” said his son. "It was a bill of exchange for acceptance for more than the cost of have been so few honest kings in the world that it would be a splendid thing to begin the china,” replied the elder. "Yes, yes,” the series.” “And am I to play the part of said the prince; “I intended that the entire transaction should represent a beautiful case that honest king ?” asked Victor Emmanuel. of filial and parental affection, I presented “Your majesty has sworn to the constitution," you with the china-that was filial. You was the answer, "and has taken thought not paid for it—that was paternal. Could any- only of Piedmont, but of all Italy. Let us thing be more complete ?”—L. E. CHITTEN- continue in this path and hold that a king DEN, “Personal Reminiscences." as well as a private individual has only one word and must stand by that.” “That," Many are the anecdotes that have been replied the king, "seems easy to me." "Be- published about the late John Van Buren, hold them," said d'Azeglio, "we have the Re but the following will be new to the readers galantuomo.” And “Re Galantuomo" was the of the Drawer: During his father's presi- name Victor Emmanuel wrote in the register dential term, “Prince John," then a very of the Turin census and the title his people young man, indulged in many playful per were most glad to give him.-R. S. HOLLAND, formances that were not altogether a delight “Builders of United Italy." to the paternal. On one of his visits to Washington the prince stopped at Willard's, After the annexation of Tuscany he visit- where his father came and, after a kindly ed Pisa for the first time. On driving to the greeting, said, “John, I had hoped that you cathedral, where an immense crowd had gath- would at some time prove to be a worthy ered to welcome him, he found the great gates representative of our family, but I fear you closed by order of the reactionary archbishop, never will; in fact, I am convinced that you Cardinal Corsi. After a delay of one or two will bring disgrace rather than reflect credit minutes it was found that a small side en- upon it.” “Father,” said John, "you may trance had been left open and the king pro- think that, because you happen to be presi. ceeded towards this door. But the crowd of dent of the United States, you are something Pisans, resenting the insult offered to the more than an ordinary man, but permit me king, broke out into indignant and even to say that you will never be known in his. || menacing cries against the cardinal arch- tory except as the father of John Van Bu bishop. Victor Emmanuel, waving his hand ren.”-Ilarper's Magazine, December, 1875. from the top of the steps, told them to be VICTOR EMMANUEL, 1820-1878. King of calm, exclaiming at the same time in a good- Italy. humored tone, “It's all right. His eminence is only teaching us by a practical instance He had in his cabinet two secretaries whose the great truth that it is by the narrow gate sole duty it was to read during the day all that we have a chance of getting to heaven." the more striking passages in the journals -SMITH, of Europe that bore on his government or on the relations between Italy and Europe. If When the royal family were passing the written in French or Italian, the scissors did hot months at Courmayeur, just under Mont the necessary work and the extracts were Blanc on the Italian side, an old woman came pasted down. If in German, English or any to the door with a basket of eggs. A rough- other European language, of which the king looking man with immense mustaches took' was ignorant, one of the secretaries, a Vene it from her, and brought it back with the tian polyglot, rendered the foreign notice or money. “You seem buono, buono," said the commentary into Italian for the sovereign's old woman, looking him well in the face. “I use. That formed King Victor Emmanuel's I wonder if I can trust you with a secret. Victoria 620 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES think was absent. The room being warm, into the uncomfortable position of coming the queen asked for a glass of water, which back to office “behind the petticoats of the was presently handed to her by a lacquey. ladies-in-waiting." The affair made a great Her majesty declined to take the glass and sensation in the country.-EDITI L. ELIAS, Louis Philippe "The Bourgeois," as he was "In Victorian Times.” rightly called by the French-seeing that a breach of etiquette had been committed, di- The record of the transaction given in Hansard (Vol. xlvii, pp. 984 et seq.) rests rected one of his sons to serve the queen.- A Member of the Royal Hlousehold. mainly upon two letters, one from the queen and the other from Sir Robert Peel; and An illustration of proper precedence was these two letters differ in their representa- given at Paddington station when the queen tions of the facts. The queen in her letter was traveling from London to Windsor, ac mentions and refuses the proposal of Sir companied by her eldest daughter, the Em: Robert Peel “to remove the ladies of her bed- press Frederick. On reaching the door of her chamber.” Sir Robert Peel, in his answer, saloon carriage the queen motioned the em- speaks only of his desire to remove a por: press to enter before her. The Empress Fred- tion of them and in the same letter de- erick, who was the daughter of the queen clines to prosecute the task of forming a before she was the widow of an emperor, ministry. Hence it appears that he aban- laughingly refused and wished to take the doned that undertaking to construct a gov. place she had always held and to follow her ernment upon a decision of the queen's, which mother. But the queen absolutely refused is not the decision announced by her. She to enter the carriage first and the empress declined to remove them as a body; he re- was obliged to give way.—“Private Life of signs his charge because he is not allowed Edward VII.," by a Member of the Royal to remove a few of them. It is very difficult Household. to understand why he did not dispel, if only The most ridiculous "red tapeism" for his own sake, the misapprehension under existed among the palace officials, of which which the queen's letter may have been writ- Baron Stockmar gives the following amusing ten. At present the documentary evidence instance. Having been sent one day by her only shows that her majesty refused an un- majesty to the master of the household to reasonable demand; and that he retired from complain that the dining room was always his high position because he adhered to a cold, that official gravely answered: “You demand which, whether necessary or not, was see, Baron, properly speaking it is not our not unreasonable.—The Contemporary Re- fault, for the Lord Steward lays the fire only view, June, 1875. and the Lord Chamberlain lights it.”— The first act of her life as queen was to BEAVAN. write a letter, breathing the purest and ten- Charles Wellesley gave us an instance of derest feelings of affection and condolence to the evil attending the subdivision of depart | Queen Adelaide. ... Her majesty wrote the ments. It happened lately that some win letter spontaneously and having finished it dows in Windsor Castle needed cleaning, but folded it and addressed it to “Her Majesty it was found that the outside of the panes the Queen.” Some one in her presence, who belonged to one department (Woods and For had a right to make a remark, noticing this, ests) and the inside to another (the Lord mentioned that the superscription was not Steward's); and as it is no use cleaning one correct and that the letter ought to be ad- side and not the other, both remained dirty dressed to "Her Majesty, the Queen Dow. for a considerable time, until the two de- | ager.” “I am quite aware,” said Queen Vic- partments could combine for this important | toria, "of her majesty's altered character, but end.–STANHOPE. I will not be the first person to remind her of it.” Woman Peel began to form a government, de It is said that the archbishop of Canter- manding in the meantime that the queen bury waited upon her majesty and inquired should dismiss some of her whig ladies in if it were her wish that any alteration should the royal household, whose presence around be made in that portion of the service ap. her majesty would be an embarrassment to pointed in the liturgy for the solemnization the new ministry. The queen, who was barely of marriage which included the promise of twenty, was terribly indignant at the idea. "obedience,” a curious promise for the sov. She refused utterly and in consequence Peel ereign of Great Britain to her newly natural- resigned and Lord Melbourne was thrust ized subject, Prince Albert, who had just Walpole, Robert Washington 624 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES pliments he has uttered ?" "Yes," replied Votes were openly trafficked for in the Lord Peterborough, "and I am confident he House of Commons, the price varying accord- means as he speaks.” Sir Robert proceeded: ing to the ministerial necessity and the im- "In my situation, assailed as I am by secret portance of the question. At Walpole's par- enemies, I hold it my duty and for the king's liamentary dinners it was a common thing benefit to watch correspondence. This let for each guest to find a five-hundred-pound ter I caused to be stopped at the post office; note folded in his napkin. To support this read it.” It was a letter from Swift, I think infamous profusion copious drains were made to Arbuthnot, saying that Sir Robert had con- | on the public purse. For the ten years pre- sented to receive him, that he knew no flat vious to his ministry--that is, from 1707 to tery was too gross for Sir Robert, that he 1717—the secret service money amounted to should receive plenty and added that he £337,960, while in the last ten years it should soon have the rascal in his clutches. amounted to £1,453,400. This fourfold in- Lord Peterborough was lost in astonishment. crease is the more remarkable as Sir Robert Sir Robert never saw Swift again. -The prided himself upon his pacific policy. ... Quarterly Review, January, 1815, quoting let Of the application of the secret service money ter of Barre Charles Roberts. no account could be gained; there were too many members of both houses deeply impli- For his neglect of one branch of litera- cated in his criminality to render a fair ture he gave one piquant and famous rea- inquiry practicable.—The Quarterly Review, son: "Do not read history, for that, I know, March, 1852. must be false." But he found in his country retirement one resource which he shared with Sir Robert wanted to carry a question in Mr. Gladstone, who had all, or nearly all, the House of Commons, to which he knew the resources, for both statesmen delighted there would be great opposition, and which in trees. “My flatterers," wrote Walpole in was disliked by some of his dependents. As a passage of such pathetic beauty that one he was passing through the Court of Re. scarcely credits his deficiency in literary quests, he met a member of the contrary taste, "my flatterers are all mutes, and the party, whose avarice he imagined would not oaks and beeches and chestnuts seem to con- reject a large bribe. He took him aside and tend which shall best please the lord of the said: "Such a question comes on to-day and manor. They cannot deceive; they will not here is a bank bill for two thousand pounds," lie.”—EARL OF ROSEBERY, inaugural address which he put into his hands. The member as president of the Edinburgh Philosophical made him the answer: "Sir Robert, you have Institution, November 25, 1898. lately served some of my particular friends; and when my wife was last at court the king It was Mr. Burke who first told the was very gracious to her, which must have story, which has since been so often repeated, happened at your instance. I should there- of Sir Robert, who, when he had retired to fore think myself very ungrateful” (putting private life from the fatigues of public busi the bank bill into his pocket) "if I were ness, desired his son to get him a book to to refuse the favor you are now pleased to read to him. The son asked on what subject ? | ask me.”—PERCY, “Anecdotes." Should it be history? "No," said Sir Robert, A member gave notice that he should “not history; there can be no truth in that." He admitted philosophical speculation, trav- charge Sir Robert Walpole with corrup- tion. Walpole listened with dignity and said els and Pliny; but from his own experience that he would be present when the charge was he was convinced that history could not be brought, for he was not conscious of any true.-JAMES PRIOR, “Edmund Burke." crime deserving censure. He put his hand on Probably no better clue to his thorough- his breast and said: “Nil conscire sibi, nullae ness can be found than his saying: "If I had pallescere culpa." Pulteney immediately not been prime minister, I should have been arose and remarked that Walpole's defense archbishop of Canterbury." — FITZGERALD would prove as weak as his quotation was MOLLOY, "London Under the First Georges." inaccurate, for Horace had written "nulla pallescere culpa.” Walpole defended his quo- Gratitude is an expectation of favors to tation and Pulteney offered to wager a guinea come.—WILLIAM HAZLITT, “Wit and Humor," that he was right. The dispute was referred quoting Walpole. (The authenticity of this to Nicholas Hardinge, clerk of the House, a remark, as attributed to Sir Robert, has been distinguished scholar, who decided that Wal- frequently challenged. There seems to be no pole was wrong. The guinea was thrown to earlier authority than Hazlitt.) | Pulteney, who caught it and, holding it up, Washington 626 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES hatchet made their appearance. “George,” | FRANK G. CARPENTER, Lippincott's Maga- said his father, “do you know who killed that eine, July, 1886. beautiful cherry tree yonder in the garden ?" Mr. Washington once told me, on a This was a tough question; and George stag. charge which I made against the president gered under it for a moment; but quickly re- at his own table, that the admiration ho covered himself and, looking at his father warmly professed for Mrs. Hartley was the with the sweet face of youth brightened with proof of his homage to the worthy part of the inexpressible charm of all-conquering the sex and highly respectful to his wife.- truth, he bravely cried out: "I can't tell a Magazine of American History, May, 1877, lie, pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did quoting letter from Joseph Yeates to his cut it with my hatchet.” “Run to my arms, wife, dated, Bradford, April 24, 1797. you dearest boy,” cried the father in trans- ports, “run to my arms; glad am I, George, Dignity that you killed my tree; for you have paid It is related of the Honorable Gouverneur me for it a thousandfold. Such an act of Morris, who was remarkable for his freedom heroism in my son is worth more than a of deportment towards his friends, that on thousand trees, though blossomed with silver one occasion he offered a wager that he could and their fruits of the purest gold.”—REV. treat General Washington with the same M. L. WEEMS, “The Life of George Washing familiarity as he did others. This chal. ton," "related to me twenty years ago by lenge was accepted and the performance an aged lady, who was a distant relative, tried. Mr. Morris slapped Washington fa- and, when a girl, spent much of her time in miliarly on the shoulder and said: "How are the family." you this morning, general ?" Washington The Arrows of Cupid made no reply, but turned his eyes upon Mr. At the age of seventeen he was smit- Morris with a glance that fairly ::.. him. He afterwards acknowledged that noth- ten by the graces of a fair one, whom he ing could induce him to try the same again. called a “Lowland beauty," and whose praises he recorded in glowing strains, while wan- -W. P. CUSTIS, “Recollections of Washing- dering with his surveyor's compass among ton,” note by Benson J. Lossing. the Allegheny mountains. On that occasion Sympathy he wrote desponding letters to a friend, and When Stuart was painting Washington's indited plaintive verses, but never ventured portrait, he was rallied one day by the gen. to reveal his emotions to the lady, who was eral for his slow work. The painter pro- unconsciously the cause of his pains. -JARED tested that the picture could not advance un- SPARKS, “The Life of George Washington.” til the canvas was dry and that there must George Washington was a colonel when be yet some delay. Upon arriving the next he first met Mrs. Custis. He was on his morning, Stuart turned to his canvas and way to Williamsburg to see the governor, discovered, to his great horror, that his pic- when he was met by a Mr. Chamberlayne, ture was spoiled. "General,” said he, "some who owned a plantation along the way, and one has held this picture to the fire.” Wash- was asked to stop and dine with him. Wash ington summoned his negro valet, Sam, and ington replied that his business was urgent demanded of him, in great indignation, who and he was only persuaded when Chamber | | had dared to touch the portrait. The trem- layne told him that he had a young widow | bling Sam replied that, chancing to overhear visiting who was rich and fair to look upon. Washington's expression of impatience at He finally accepted, saying that it could be the slowness of the work, and the response only for dinner, and that, the meal over, of the artist that it must be dry before he he must hasten to Williamsburg by moon could go on, he had ventured to put the light. He then threw the reins of his horse canvas before the fire. Washington, in great to Bishop, his body servant, and told him anger, dismissed him and told him not to to wait for his return. Dinner being over show his face again. But the next day, the Virginia colonel was so pleased with his after Stuart had arrived and was prepar. company that he was in no hurry to go. | ing to work, Washington rang the bell and He forgot all about poor Bishop and his sent for Sam. He came in abashed and trem- horse and accepted an invitation to remain bling. The president drew a new silver watch over night. Washington went on to Wil from his pocket and said: "Come here, Sam. liamsburg the next day and on his return Take this watch and, whenever you look called at the house of Mrs. Custis and asked at it, remember that your master, in a mo- her hand in marriage. She accepted. - | ment of passion, said to you what he now 627 Washington OF THE GREAT regrets and that he was not ashamed to con- | length lighted them up and he exclaimed. less that he had done so." Many similar "Mr. Bernard, I believe." I bowed. “I had anecdotes live in tradition.-Harper's Maga the pleasure of seeing you perform last win. zine, December, 1854. ter in Philadelphia." I bowed again and he He [Mr. Gallatin] told me a story of a added: “I have heard of you since from sev- black slave, who said he was once saved from eral of my friends in Annapolis. You are a caning by the general's looking at the cane acquainted with Mr. Carroll ?” I replied and recollecting that it was given him by that gentleman's society had made amends Dr. Franklin.-AUGUSTUS J. FOSTER, "Notes for much that I had lost in quitting England. on the United States," The Quarterly Re- He remarked: “You must be fatigued. If you will ride up to my house, which is not a view, June, 1841. mile distant, you can prevent any ill ef- In July, 1798, I had been to visit an fects from these exertions by a couple of acquaintance on the banks of the Potomac, hours' rest." I looked around for his dwell- a few miles below Alexandria, and was re ing and he pointed to a building which the turning on horseback, in the rear of an old day before I had spent an hour in contem- fashioned chaise, the driver of which was urg. plating. “Mount Vernon," I exclaimed; and ing on his steed, when a lash, directed with | then, drawing back with a stare of wonder, more skill than humanity, took the skin from "Have I the honor of addressing General an old wound. The sudden pang threw the Washington ?” With a smile, whose expres- poor animal on its hind legs and, the wheel sion of benevolence I have rarely seen swerving on the bank, over went the chaise, equaled, he offered his hand and replied: flinging out upon the road a young woman. “An odd sort of an introduction, Mr. Ber- The minute before I had perceived a horse nard; but I am pleased to find you can play man approaching at a gentle trot, who now 80 active a part in private and without a broke into a gallop and we reached the scene prompter.”—JOHN BERNARD, “Retrospection of the disaster together. The female was in America." our first care; she was insensible, but had Washington was, as all the world knows, sustained no material injury. My com- a man of few words, and while he quietly panion supported her, while I brought some partook of his frugal meal the conversation water in the crown of my hat from flowed cheerfully on between the other mem- a spring some way off. The driver had bers of the family present. Suddenly his landed on his legs and, having ascertained nephew turned laughingly to him and said: that his spouse was not dead, seemed well “Uncle, what do you think I dreamed last satisfied with the care she was in and set night?” The general replied that he could about extricating his horse. A gush of tears not guess and asked to be told. Captain announced the return of the lady to sensi- Lewis, continuing the laugh, merrily replied: bility; then, as her eyes opened, her tongue “Why, I dreamed that you gave me your gradually resumed its office, as she poured farm on Deep Run.” “Humph!" ejaculated forth a volley of invectives on her mate. his uncle; "you had better have dreamed that The horse was now on its legs but the vehicle still prostrate, heavy in its frame I gave you Mount Vernon.” No more was said on the subject and Captain Lewis had and laden with half a ton of luggage. My fellow helper set me an example of activity quite forgotten the unmeaning dream as he placed his wife in the carriage and bade his in relieving it of the external weight, and, uncle and aunt good-by. Washington fol- when all was clear, we grasped the wheel lowed him to his carriage and handed him between us and righted the conveyance. The a folded paper, saying as he did so: “You horse was put in and we lent a hand to help can look at that when you reach home.” up the luggage. All this helping, hauling Captain Lewis received the paper in aston- and lifting occupied at least half an hour, ishment, but could make no reply, as the car- under a meridian sun in the middle of July. ... My companion, after an exclamation at riage now rolled swiftly away. He might the heat, offered very courteously to dust my have felt in duty bound to suffer the pangs coat-a favor, the return of which enabled of curiosity until he reached home, but his me to take a survey of his person. ... wife had no such conscientious scruples; she Though the instant he took his hat off, I had not been forbidden to open it and so she could not avoid recognizing familiar linea- | soon succeeded in gaining possession of the ments, still I failed to identify him; and, to mysterious paper and before Mount Vernon my surprise, I found myself an object of was lost in the distance she had discovered equal speculation in his eyes. A smile at the fact that they had left that modest 629 Washington OF THE GREAT he must get the change and leave the money beneath. The president then astonished the on the table until he got it. The man rode republican court by appearing in a coat with to Alexandria, which is nine miles from pink conch-shell buttons sparkling on its Mount Vernon; and then the general settled dark velvet surface. Eighty years ago, it the account. It was always his custom, when seems, fashion ruled in the hearts or over the he traveled, to pay as much for his servants' costumes of men and women, just as it does breakfast, dinner or supper as for his own. now-for Captain Lewis bears testimony I was told this by the keeper of a tavern that conch-shell buttons immediately became where the general breakfasted; and he made the rage. The shell venders' and button mak- the bill three shillings and nine pence for ers' fortunes were made by the general's pas. the master's breakfast, and three shillings sion for utilizing everything that came into for the servants. The general sent for the his possession.-A. L. BASSET, Scribner's tavernkeeper into the room and desired that Monthly, May, 1877. he would make the same charge for his Other Characteristics servants as for himself, for he doubted not they had eaten as much. This shows he was When Colonel Washington (the immortal as correct in paying as in receiving. It is savior of his country) had closed his career said that he never had anything bought for in the French and Indian war, and had be- his own use that was by weight, but he come a member of the House of Burgesses, the weighed it; or anything by tale, but he speaker, Robinson, was directed, by a vote had it counted; and if he did not find the of the house, to return their thanks to that due weight and number, he sent the articles gentleman, on behalf of the colony, for the back again to be regulated. There is a distinguished military services which he had striking incident related of his condescend- rendered to his country. As soon as Colonel ency. He sent to a shoemaker in Alexan- Washington took his seat, Mr. Robinson, in dria to come and measure him for a pair of obedience to the order, and following the shoes; the shoemaker answered by the ser- impulses of his own generous and grateful vant that it was not his custom to go to heart, discharged the duty with great dig. any one's house to take measure for shoes. nity, but with such a warmth of coloring and The general being told that, mounted his strength of expression as entirely confounded horse, and went to the shoemaker to be mea- the young hero. He rose to express his sured.-RICHARD PARKINSON, "A Tour in acknowledgments for the honor, but such was America in 1798, 1799 and 1800." his trepidation and confusion that he could not give distinct utterance to a single syl- A needy sailor with a wheelbarrow of lable. He blushed, stammered and trem- shells accosted the general on the street and, bled for a second; when the speaker relieved holding up a number of conch shells, im- him by a stroke of address that would have plored him to buy them. Washington lis- done honor to Louis XIV. in his proudest tened with sympathy to the story of his suf and happiest moments. “Sit down, Mr. ferings and want and kindly replied that he Washington," he said, with a conciliating would buy them if he could in any way make smile, "your modesty is equal to your valor use of them. Necessity perhaps sharpened and that surpasses the power of any lan- the sailor's wits and he promptly suggested guage that I possess."-WILLIA: WIRT, "Life that they would make lovely buttons for his of Patrick Henry," quoting Edmund Ran- velvet coat. The general doubtless smiled at dolph. the ingenious proposal but agreed to try In private as well as in public his punc- them. Carrying home his ocean treasure of tuality was observable. He had a well-regu- pink shells, he sent for a button maker to lated clock in his entry, by which the move- know if he could manufacture a useful article ments of his whole family, as well as his own, out of the pretty playthings with which he were regulated. At his dinner parties he found himself encumbered. The workman re- allowed five minutes for the variations of plied that he could make buttons if he could timepieces, and after they were expired he find an instrument sharp enough to pierce would wait for no one. Some lagging mem- them. Washington would have nothing use. bers of Congress came in when not only din- less about him and so the shells were de ner was begun, but considerably advanced. livered to the manufacturer, who in due time His only apology was: "Sir or gentlemen, we returned them to him in the shape of con are too punctual for you"; or in a pleas- cave buttons, a little larger than a quarter of antry: “Gentlemen, I have a cook who never a dollar, with a silver drop in the center asks whether the company have come, but hiding the spot where the eye is fastened | whether the hour has come.” Washington 633 Wayne, General OF THE GREAT Webster ing a letter from Rev. Elihu Smith to Pro- fessor Sanborn, dated, Pomfret, Vt., Novem- ber 10, 1852. Mr. Webster was his own purveyor and was a regular attendant at the Marsh market on market mornings. He almost invariably wore a large, broad-brimmed, soft felt hat, with his favorite blue coat and bright but- tons, a buff cassimere waistcoat and black trousers. Going from stall to stall, followed by a servant bearing a large basket in which purchases were carried home, he would joke with the butchers, the fishmongers, and the green grocers with a grave drollery of which his biographers, in their anxiety to deify him, have made no mention.—The Atlantic Month- ly, September, 1880. We love to recall such incidents as that in Castle Garden, when Daniel Webster, to the distress of his wife, and the delight of the audience, set the example of rising (when Jenny Lind sang “The Star Spangled Ban- ner"], which has since become common, and, by main strength and with mighty voice, join- ing in the chorus.—The North American Review, October, 1906. ring at once began. "For a while," as the statesman has told the story to a friend, “the contest was an even one"; but in ten minutes he had the satisfaction of seeing his hero victorious. He saw the cock, against which he had the grudge, and which again and again had driven his own fowls from his own yard, led about by the comb, in a manner as degrading as the old Romans led their conquered foes while celebrating their triumphs of arms. Wellington, after the bat- tle of Waterloo, was not better satisfied with the result of the day than he was with the result of his day.-B. F. TEFFTS, “Life of Daniel Webster.” Mr. Webster went through college in a manner that was highly creditable to him- self and gratifying to his friends. He grad- uated at Dartmouth in 1801 and, though it was universally believed that he ought to have received and would receive the valedic- tory, that honor was not conferred upon him, but upon one whose name has since passed into forgetfulness. The ill-judging faculty of the college, however, bestowed upon him a diploma, but, instead of pleasing, this com- monplace compliment only disgusted him, and at the conclusion of the commencement exer- cises the disappointed youth asked a number of his classmates to accompany him to the green behind the college, where, in their presence, he deliberately tore up this honorary document and threw it to the winds, exclaim. ing, "My industry may make me a great man, but this miserable parchment cannot,” and, immediately mounting his horse, departed for home.-CHARLES LANMAN, "The Private Life of Daniel Webster." There is no foundation for the story of his having destroyed his diploma in dis- gust and anger after the commencement exer- cises were over. If this rumor ever had so much origin as to be a college tradition, it is refuted by evidence that ought to be re- garded as decisive, for it is certain that it was not heard of at Dartmouth at the time, or for several years afterwards.-G. T. CUR- TIS, “Life of Daniel Webster.” Many idle stories have been circulated respecting Webster's tearing up his diploma. Of this I have no knowledge. I have no doubt that the report is false. I stood by his side when he received his degree with a graceful bow; and such was my connection with him in our society affairs that if he had destroyed it afterwards I certainly should have known it.-FLETCHER WEBSTER, "Autobiography of Daniel Webster and Private Letters," quot. He suddenly aroused himself into new life, joining with a burst of humor in the pleasantries of the feast. The unexpected brightness of the cozy room was not lost on Mr. Webster, who, on entering, paused on the threshold and glanced around in an appre- ciative manner, while a deep, restful sigh escaped his weary soul. The dreary drive through the wilderness lent an added charm to the little oasis of civilized comfort in the lonely backwoods of a Western quarter sec- tion. News of the distinguished arrival soon flew among the laborers running the mill and constructing dwellings for the in-rushing population. Tom and Bill of the hammer, and Mike and Patsy of the spade, alike forsook their tools to witness the exit of the hero from the major's door. They even hoped to receive some expression of wisdom in golden words from lips used to the flow of stirring thought and burning eloquence. Lounging patiently under the trees, the expectant men listened to the clink and clatter of serving and the bursts of merriment within. At the conclusion of the breakfast and the subse- quent chat, Mr. Webster asked for his host- ess, to whom with great courtesy he expressed his sense "of the kindness extended to a stranger in a strange land," and, adieus be- ing over, he approached the open doorway, and looked strangely annoyed at the sight of the double line of white-sleeved stalwart men Webster 634 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES with bared heads awaiting his appearance. he soon turned his face again to Mr. Web- Then a vast mood fell upon the man, with ster, to meet those deep, penetrating eyes, never a gentle soul at hand to charm It away, which doubtless seemed to read his very soul. Not a feature stirred in recognition of the He moved nervously in his seat for a few voluntary homage rendered by the throng of moments, then rose and left the court room, humble men-men controlling the ballots so to which he could not be induced to return. ardently desired and sought. With hat -Hugh McCULLOCH, "Men and Measures of pressed firmly over an ominously lowering Half a century." brow, looking straight before him with caver- On January 27, 1848, Webster made an nous, tired eyes which seemed to observe argument before the Supreme Court of the nothing whereon they rested, Webster walked United States on the Rhode Island govern- through the hushed lines in grave stateliness. ment-a case arising out of what has been The crowd was only waiting for a spark of known as the Dorr rebellion. It happened encouragement to shout itself hoarse in en- that Mr. Justice McLean dined with me on thusiastic huzzahs. Eyes shone with sup- the day after this argument and in the course pressed excitement and strong hearts swelled of conversation he said to me, “Winthrop, with pride in the towering man whose fame your great friend Webster made one of his had surged like a tidal wave over the land. grandest efforts yesterday. I have never Yet with insolent deliberation he mounted the heard him when he was more powerful.” “I step and seated himself in the waiting car- am delighted to hear it,” I replied, “but I do riage, giving no signs of having even noticed not quite understand it, for when I saw him the flattering demonstration made in his on the very day before he had just arrived honor. The smiles, nods and handclasps ex. at Gadsby's hotel and seemed wearied and pected of the chief were lavishly dispensed by his mortified satellites, all of which availed worried, and was evidently in very bad spirits about the argument he was to make the next not to smother the curses, loud and deep, day.” “Well,” said Judge McLean, "he has splitting the summer air, as the wheels dis- rarely, if ever, done a greater thing." A day appeared in the forest.---Lippincott's Maga- or two afterwards I took pains to see Web- zine, August, 1885. ster again and tell him what McLean had Orator said and then I added, “Do tell me the mys. He had a singular habit, which made it tery of such a triumph under such dis- wearisome to listen to his ordinary speech, couragements.” “Oh, sit down here," said of groping after the most suitable word and Webster, "and I will tell you all about it. trying one synonym after another until he I remember that you called to see me just got what suited him best. “Why is it, Mr. after I arrived from Boston and you may not Chairman, that there has gathered, congre have forgotten that I mentioned that I had gated, come together here, this great number been up to the Supreme Court and had found, of inhabitants, dwellers; that these roads, to my consternation, that the Rhode Island avenues, routes of travel, highways, converge, case was in progress and indeed that the meet, come together here? Is it not because counsel to whom I was to reply was just we have a sufficient, ample, safe, secure, con finishing his argument. Fortunately only a venient, commodious port, harbor, haven?" quarter of an hour was left before the court's Of course, when the speech came to be printed regular hour of adjournment and I succeeded all the synonyms but the best one would be in getting their honors, out of regard for my left out.-GEORGE F. HOAR, Scribner's Month detention by a storm on the road, to adjourn ly, March, 1899. at once, and leave me to begin my reply the next day. Well, on coming back to the hotel Mr. Webster's eyes, though deep-set, were here, some pleasant gentlemen persuaded me so penetrating that few guilty men could to dine with them and kept me a good while endure their piercing gaze. One of his clients in a case of considerable importance informed at the table. When I escaped from them you him that he thought a witness on the other called and as you went away Choate came in. side intended to commit perjury. “Point him He was associated with me in this Rhode out to me when he comes into the court Island case and spent an hour with me, tell- room," said Mr. Webster. The witness soon ing me all about the arguments of my oppo- after appeared and took a seat in a swagger nents and giving me a full idea of the case ing manner, when, looking towards the bar, as it stood. And when Choate left me I his eyes met those of Mr. Webster fixed | was tired and went at once to bed." I could steadily upon him. He immediately looked hardly help laughing as I replied, “But all in another direction, but, as if fascinated, this does not explain the great speech you 635 Webster OF THE GREAT . KI made the next morning." "No," said Web- | a twig, or caught in the long grass of the ster, “but before I went to sleep I ordered river, and finding that, after a moment's at- the servant to have a fire kindled in my tention, he again relapsed into his indiffer- parlor at two o'clock in the morning and ence, I quietly walked up near him and candles lighted on my table. Before half watched. He seemed to be gazing at the past two I was at work and before break- overhanging trees and presently, advancing fast I was ready for anybody.” one foot and extending his right hand, he Some one is said to have asked him once commenced to speak, 'Venerable men,' etc." whether that splendid passage about the -Albany Law Journal, April 22, 1876. British power and her drumbeat, in his In his great argument on the Foote reso- ch in the Senate on “The President’s | lution Webster said that he had slept on Protest," was an impromptu, struck out in his adversary's [Hayne) speech, and “slept the heat of debate. “An impromptu ?” said soundly.” Nevertheless he awakened in the he almost scornfully, "why, that idea oc middle of the night and turned over the curred to me twenty years before, while I pages of "Macbeth” to be sure of his quota- was standing on the Heights of Abraham, tion on the "murdered” coalition. This set. and I have been trying to work it into shape tled he slept and slept soundly.-Magazine ever since. But I never succeeded to my satis of American History, October, 1877. faction until now.”- ROBERT C. WINTHROP, Scribner's Magazine, January, 1894. He had been invited to a huge horticul- tural meeting and dinner which was to take A story is told at Providence about a place at Oxford the day after. There dined distinguished lawyer of that place, Mr. John Whipple, who was at Washington when Web- together-gentry and yeomanry-to the num- ber of twenty-five hundred or more in the ster replied to Hayne, but did not hear the quadrangle, if I remember rightly, of Uni- speech, as he was engaged in a case in the versity College, which was tendered over for Supreme Court when it was delivered. When the occasion. I was to have dined with them, a report of what Webster had said appeared but, as the dinner hour came on, my courage in print Mr. Whipple read it and was haunt- ed by the idea that he had heard it or read oozed out (I prefer parties of six or eight at the most). So I called off, surrendered it before. Meeting Mr. Webster soon after- my ticket to some applicant not so intolerant wards, he mentioned this idea to him and of dinners of twenty-five hundred and dined inquired whether it could possibly have any with Mr. Webster's agreeable family party- foundation in fact. “Certainly it has," re- his wife and daughter and relative, Mrs. plied Mr. Webster; "don't you remember our Paige--at the hotel. He returned to us early conversations during the long walks we took in the evening, sliding into the room joy. together last summer at Newport, while in attendance at Story's court?" It ously, half as if he were dancing, and as if flashed to tell good-naturedly that he was glad to across Mr. Whipple's mind that Mr. Webster come back to us. After a little while I said, had then rehearsed the legal argument of his “But I am sorry to have missed your speech, speech and had invited criticism.--The At- which they say was a capital one." "Order in lantic Monthly, April, 1880. some wine and water and I will speak it to He tells us that he composed a great you over again,” which he did most festive- portion of his first Bunker Hill oration while ly, stopping by the way to tell me that he angling waist-deep in the Marshpee river. had wished and prearranged with himself His son Fletcher narrates an amusing cor to make such and such points. Fancy how roboration of this confession. He says: “I delightful and how attaching I found all this followed him along the stream, fishing the genial bearing from so famous a man, so holes and bends which he left for me, but affectionate and so little of the humbug.- after a while began to notice that he was G. T. TICKNOR, “Life of Daniel Webster," not so attentive to his sport nor so earnest quoting letter of John Kenyon, dated March as usual. He would let his line run care- 353. lessly down the stream, or hold his rod still while his hook was not even touching the water; omitted trying the best places under Mr. Lincoln said: Mrs. Ann S. Stevens the projecting roots of pines and seemed in- | told me a story last night about Daniel deed quite abstracted and uninterested in his Webster, when a lad, which was new to me, amusement. This of course caused me a great and it has been running in my head all the deal of wonder and, after calling his atten- | morning. When quite young at school Daniel tion once or twice to his hook hanging on was one day guilty of a gross violation of Wit Webster 636 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES W the rules. He was detected in the act and Henry Clay, brought forward General Har- called up by the teacher for punishment. rison, who had overcome a mixed army of This was to be the old-fashioned ferruling of English and Indians, and elected him. When the hand. His hand happened to be very this military hero was first proposed, in 1836, dirty. Knowing this, on his way to the he stated, in answer to some friends who had teacher's desk, he spat upon the palm of his inquired regarding the conduct of his soldiers right hand, wiping it off on the side of his at Tippecanoe, “that every private in the pantaloons. “Give me your hand, sir," said whole army, on that occasion, was a Leonidas, the teacher very sternly. Out went the right Epaminondas or Horatius Cocles.” In truth, hand, partly cleansed. The teacher looked the old general was much attached to these at it a moment and said, “Daniel, if you men and to many others whom Plutarch has will find another hand in this school as commemorated. After the general's election filthy as that, I will let you off this time.” to the presidency, and while he was in Wash- Instantly from behind his back came his left ington preparing for his inauguration, a hand. "Here it is, sir," was the ready reply. young gentleman fresh from one of our uni- "That will do," said the teacher, "for this versities was introduced to him. “Have you time you can take your seat, sir."-F. B. ever read'Plutarch's Lives,' my young friend ?" CARPENTER, "Six Months in the White he inquired. So much seems to have been House." necessary to what follows: Plutarch's heroes During one of the college vacations he would have crowded the inaugural message, and his brother returned to their father's to the exclusion of all American and perhaps at Salisbury. Thinking he had a right to modern characters, but for an untimely fate. some return for the money he had expended Miltiades would have fought Marathon over on their education, the father put scythes again, the Horatii reexterminated the Cur- into their hands and ordered them to mow. iatii and Quintus Curtius have taken a sec- Daniel made a few sweeps and then, resting ond leap into that fatal chasm, had the old his scythe, wiped the sweat from his brow. general's original purpose been carried out. His father said, “What's the matter, Dan?”. A day or two before the message was de- “My scythe don't hang right, sir,” he an- livered, the Secretary of State-elect was seen swered. His father fixed it and Dan went coming out of General Harrison's residence, to work again, but with no better success. seemingly no little agitated. His step was Something was the matter with his scythe- unequal and his brow seemed charged with a and then it was again tinkered—but it was lowering storm. “What is the matter with not long before it wanted fixing again, and you this morning ?" inquired a friend, un- the father said in a pet, “Well, hang it to expectedly coming upon him; "you seem agi- suit yourself.” Daniel with great composure tated, Mr. Webster.” “Agitated, sir? And hung it on the next tree and, putting on a who would not feel agitated that had com- grave countenance, said, "It hangs very well mitted the crimes I have this morning." now; I am perfectly satisfied.”—The Eclectic "Crimes, Mr. Webster ?” exclaimed his friend, Magazine, December, 1868. incredulously. “Aye, sir, crimes, murders most foul, and from malice aforethought, of Daniel and his brother Ezekiel when boys I know not how many Greeks and Romans." were really devoted to the pursuits of agri- Everybody recollects that the message com- culture, but the following story is current in menced in this manner: "It was the remark the vicinity of their birth-place. Their fa- of a Roman consul, in an early period of that ther had given them directions to perform a celebrated republic,” etc. It was said at the specific labor during his temporary absence time that the old general, while he reluctant- from home, but on his return at night he ly consented to the exclusion of other Roman found the labor unperformed and, with a celebrities, insisted upon retaining this Ro- frown upon his face, questioned the boys in man consul-to which his secretary finally regard to their idleness. “What have you yielded, on condition that his name were sup- been doing, Ezekiel ?" said the father. “Noth- ing, sir," was the reply. “Well, Daniel, what pressed.-Harper's Magazine, September, have you been doing?” “Helping Zeke, sir." 1856. -LANMAN, and numerous other authorities, Among the “Websteriana” there is noth- sufficient to entitle the anecdote to some con ing of his better than the answer to the sideration. The original, perhaps, is to be French minister, who asked Mr. Webster, found in “Walpoliana.” while Secretary of State, whether the United The Whig party, tired of defeat under States would recognize the new government such statesmen as John Quincy Adams and 1 of France. The secretary assumed a very im. 637 Webster OF THE GREAT portant tone and attitude, saying: “Why | sides and engaged in all important cases. not? The United States has recognized the On one occasion the clerk was calling the Bourbons, the republic, the directory, the docket and the various counsel, entering their council of five hundred, Louis XVIII., Charles names in the various suits; Mr. Mason or X., Louis Philippe, the " "Enough! Mr. Webster answering for the plaintiff or enough!” cried the French minister, perfect defendant in almost every one. At last a ly satisfied with such a formidable citation case was called and I overheard the following of consistent precedents.—Harper's Magazine, conversation between them. Mr. Mason said, December, 1856. "Mr. Webster, what side are you on this case?” Mr. Webster replied, “I don't know; Mr. Webster was once engaged in the take your choice.”—FLETCHER WEBSTER. trial of a case in one of the Virginia courts and the opposing counsel was William Wirt, The only time I heard Mr. Webster in author of the "Life of Patrick Henry," which Faneuil Hall was at a meeting of which Mr. has been criticized as a brilliant romance. In Otis was chairman, soon after the veto by the progress of the case Mr. Webster pro President Jackson of a bill making appro- duced a highly respectable witness, whose priations for the extension of the national testimony (unless disproved or impeached) road to the Mississippi. In speaking of the settled the case and annihilated Mr. Wirt's nationality of the enterprise, the necessity of client. After getting through with the testi- it as a means of communication between the mony he informed Mr. Wirt, with a signifi- Eastern and Western states, Mr. Webster cant expression, that he was through with said: “There is no road leading everywhere, the witness, and that he was at his service. no road over which everybody or even the Mr. Wirt rose to commence the cross-exam- majority of people travel, except, except”— ination, but seemed for a moment quite per- and here he seemed to be at a loss for a word plexed how to proceed, but quickly assumed -"except the road to ruin,” interjected Mr. a manner expressive of his incredulity as to Otis, in his clear and penetrating voice. "Ex- the facts elicited, and, coolly eyeing the wit- cept the road to ruin," shouted Mr. Webster, ness a moment, he said, "Mr. K., allow me "and that's an administration road.”—MC- to ask whether you have ever read a work CULLOCH. called "Baron Munchausen'?” Before the witness had time to reply, Mr. Webster quick He [Dr. Goddard] seemed at a loss what ly rose to his feet and said, “I beg your par- to do. "I stand," said he to the meeting, don, Mr. Wirt, for the interruption; but "between two dangers: on one side is Scylla, there was one question I forgot to ask the and on the other Charybdis, and I don't witness and if you will allow me that favor know which to take.” “I fear then," said I will promise not to interrupt you again.” Mr. Webster, rather too loudly, "I fear your Mr. Wirt, in the blandest manner, replied, honor will take the silly side.” It is but “Yes, most certainly," when Webster, in just to Mr. Webster's memory to add that the most deliberate and solemn manner, said, he never told this himself.-Harper's Mag- "Sir, have you ever read Wirt's 'Patrick azine, August, 1856. Henry'?" The effect was so irresistible, that even the judge could not control his rigid When he was speaking on the New York features. Mr. Wirt himself joined in the fire bill, the senate clock suddenly began to momentary laugh and, turning to Mr. Web strike and, after it had struck continuously ster, said, “Suppose we submit this case to about fourteen or fifteen times, Mr. Webster the jury without summing up,” which was as stopped and said to the presiding officer, sented to and Mr. Webster's client won the “The clock is cut of order, sir-I have the case.—Harper's Magazine, October, 1862. floor." The occupant of the chair looked re- bukingly at the refractory timepiece, but in Indeed for the nine years I lived in defiance of the officers and rules of the House Portsmouth Mr. Mason and myself, in the it struck about forty before the sergeant- counties where we practised, were on opposite at-arms could stop it; Mr. Webster standing sides pretty much as a matter of course. silent, while every one else was laughing. WEBSTER, “Autobiography.” In illustration The Atlantic Monthly, June, 1880. of this the editor will add an anecdote re- lated to him by the late Eben Chadwick, Esq., Being taken ill one day in a town with of Boston. Mr. Chadwick said: I used often Democratic proclivities, he begged to be car. to attend the court, when it sat at Ports- ried home. "I was born a Federalist," he mouth, on purpose to hear Mr. Mason and said. “I have lived a Federalist and I won't Mr. Webster, who were always on opposite / die in a Democratic town.”—LODGE. wobster 638 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES At the beginning of the Taylor cam- | ter gentlemen—not the official-was heard paign it was desirable to propitiate Mr. Web to exclaim in a fit of extreme disgust, "He ster, who, naturally enough, received the may well call it the har-s-rvest moon," nomination of General Taylor as coldly as | Harper's Magazine, March, 1869. he did that of Mr. Clay in 1844, when Massa- Many years ago one of the Boston in- chusetts led off and, after he had said in surance companies had an important case his Marshfield speech that the nomination coming on, involving a large sum of money, was one “not fit to be made," it became espe- and the solicitor of the company, Mr. M- cially necessary that he should be looked thought it advisable that Mr. Webster should after. The result was that, after a great be retained. The president of the company deal of negotiation, and the urgency of many coincided and, handing him a check for one of his best friends, he consented to explain, thousand dollars, requested him to call upon at Abington in Massachusetts, his Marshfield Mr. Webster and secure his services. He did speech, and to make one or two more speeches so, paying him the money; but it happened during the campaign. Two well-known gen- that the cause was amicably settled. Some tlemen of the city of Worcester, then promi- time afterwards, at the suggestion of the nent in the Whig ranks--one of whom is now president, Mr. M— called upon Mr. Web- holding a high official station in that state ster to inform him that the case would not -came to Boston at the instance of the late come to trial and that the retaining fee ex-Governor Lincoln, to secure Mr. Webster should properly be returned to the company. for a great speech in the former city. They Mr. Webster was amazed. Turning round then called upon the then secretary of the to Mr. M- he said, “You are a lawyer, State Whig Committee to enlist his co- Mr. M- ; and know or certainly ought to operation and were informed by him that five know the meaning of retainer.' It comes hundred dollars was the least sum they from the Latin retineo, retinere, retenti, re- could reasonably offer Mr. Webster for such tentum ; which means to retain to retain; an effort. The gentlemen said they thought and I mean to retain it.”—Harper's Magazine, they could raise that sum. Mr. Webster hap- June, 1869. pened then to be at the Tremont House and the secretary volunteered to call upon him When on one occasion at night we were with them and do what he might be able to | returning from Elm Farms in the autumn advance the suit. It was in the month of of 1851, the entire train of cars was thrown October-a month he loved. The party found off the track, and all broken to pieces, ex- Mr. Webster solus in the office, drinking a cepting the car in which we were seated. glass of soda water. The secretary, with im- The position into which this car was forced prudent haste, led them into the office and was on the side of a bank, at an angle of introduced them. The situation was em- forty-five degrees. The moment it was pos- barrassing, for he was in the act of drinking sible the passengers rushed out in the great- his soda water, and was obliged by the in- est consternation, and when the writer hur- terruption to set down his tumbler before he riedly urged him to follow the crowd, he had finished it. To relieve this embarrass- firmly retained his seat and quietly replied, ment one of these gentlemen--the eminent “Can you inform me to what part of the official whose silver speech it is always pleas- world we are traveling? I have paid my ant to listen to—said, "I think this must be fare to Boston and I will thank the locomo- the Indian summer, Mr. Webster.” Mr. Web- tive to proceed to its original destination." ster turned square around and, confronting And when, a few moments afterwards, he him, replied with emphatic gravity, "No, sir- saw the locomotive almost in the center of a r-r-r; this is the har-r-rvest moon.” The neighboring field, and knew that some half Worcester gentleman afterwards laughed a dozen cattle had been killed, he repeated his great deal at the felicity of Mr. Webster's remarks and threw all who heard him into reply, taken in conjunction with the fact | good humor.-LANMAN. that the speech was one of the dullest that I The following amusing and characteris- the great man ever delivered and the addi- | tic anecdotes of the late lamented states- tional fact that the greater part of the five man, Daniel Webster, are undoubtedly au- hundred dollars came out of their own pock thentic. They both proceed from personal ets; for, neglecting to ask contributions from friends of Mr. Webster and the first has their friends until alter the event, they found | never appeared in print. Some four or five these said friends ludicrously disinclined to years ago Mr. Webster paid a professional invest, and with some little disposition to visit to Northampton, Massachusetts, one of chaff; and it is said that one of the Worces. | the pleasantest inland towns of the state. 641 wobster OF THE GREAT clothes, that the handsome black suit he had | up by golly.' So here I am, Fletcher, tired on was his best, and all he had, and that out and as hungry as a cooper's cow.”— to go fishing in it would spoil it. To meet WILLIAM T. DAVIS, New England Magazine, this objection Mr. Webster directed his ser- | April, 1902. vant George to go upstairs and bring down Some twenty years ago or thereabouts, the dress in which he was presented at court Daniel Webster, who was an expert in the in England, which George did. As soon as he appeared with it Mr. Webster said, "There, piscatory art, sauntered forth of a morning toward a creek, not far distant from his Doty, is a dress for you; put it on and come house, where he expected to find a boat, in as soon as you can, for we are losing valuable which he intended to cross to the opposite time." The judge replied, “Surely, Mr. Web- bank, and from thence was to set out with ster, you are not in earnest in what you say his lines in quest of trout. As he reached -that you want me to go fishing in that ele- gant suit and spoil it?" "Yes, I am,” he re- the creek he perceived that the boat was plied; “that is what it has been brought missing. While hesitating whether to stay down for.” where he was or to wade, he discovered an The judge still lingered when old man seated on the bank, looking very Mr. Webster, to settle the matter, said to him, disconsolate, and who questioned him as to “Have no anxiety about injuring the dress, the possible means of reaching the other side for to fish or hunt in it is the only way in without a boat. “Do as I do, old man," which it can now be made useful. Could I said Daniel. "How is that?” queried the old wear it in Washington, Philadelphia, New gentleman. “Take off your boots and wade; York, Boston, or even here? If I did, I am going to uv wus And, suiting the wouldn't everybody laugh at me?” The judge action to the word, he at once set about tak- was compelled to answer affirmatively to the ing off his boots. "But I cannot wade," question. “Well, then," said he, "pray, what continued the old man in a doleful tone; “I is it good for but to go fishing in?" That am too old.” “Well then, my boy," cheerily settled the matter. The judge put on the responded Mr. Webster, "well then, jump dress and went fishing in Mr. Webster's court upon my back and I will carry you over." suit and thus saved his own.—Harper's Mag. The old man's face brightened and he at once azine, April, 1884. consented to be carried over "pick-a-back.” Reaching home in the early evening of When they arrived safely on the opposite an October day, in answer to a question, side he said to his obliging friena, "Well, “What luck, father?” he said, after seating when I get home I shall have to tell how a himself at the supper table: “Well, I met the fine Boston gentleman carried me over the Messrs. Hedge and George Churchill at Long creek on his back. I think it is good enough Pond hill, which you know is about eight to tell to Daniel Webster himself.” “Then miles beyond Plymouth, and there was also tell it to me, my good man.”—Harper's Mag. Uncle Branch Pierce with his hounds and he azine, 1862. had already found a fresh deer track to the He was once tramping over the Marsh- eastward near the Sandwich road. Uncle field meadows, shooting ducks, when he en- Branch told us that as near as he 'could make countered a couple of Boston sporting snobs, up the voyage,' the critter would run to wa- who happened to be in trouble just then about ter in little Long Pond. So he put me on crossing a bog. Not knowing Mr. Webster, the road as you go down the hill and told and believing him to be strong enough to help me to keep my ears open and my eyes peeled them over the water, they begged to be con- and not to stir till he called me off. For two veyed to a dry point upon his back. The hours I stood there under a red oak tree, request was of coursemplied with and, expecting every moment either to hear the after the cockneys had paid him a quarter dogs or see the deer, but without a sound of a dollar each for his trouble, they inquired or a sight. I then put my gun against the if "Old Webster was at home?" for, as they tree and took a lunch. When it got to be one had had poor luck in shooting, they would o'clock 1 made a speech and about three honor him with a call. Mr. Webster replied o'clock a little song sparrow came and that the gentleman alluded to was not at perched on a limb over my head and I took home just then, but would be as soon as off my hat and said, 'Madam, you are the first he could walk to the house, and added that living thing I have seen to-day. Permit me he "would be glad to see them at dinner.” to pay my profoundest respects.' Pretty | As may be presumed the cockneys were never soon Uncle Branch came up and said the dogs seen to cross the threshold of “Old Webster." had gone out of 'hearth' and the hunt was ) -LANMAN. Webster 642 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Soon after Mr. Webster went to Marsh | in his hand, he thus addressed his client, field, he was one day out on the marshes, | "It seems to me, my good sir, if I understand shooting birds. It was in the month of you rightly, you are entirely naked; is it August when the farmers were securing their so?” The client replied that he was indeed salt hay. He came, in the course of his penniless and then, of course, expected a de- rambles, to Green Harbor river, which he mand for a retaining fee. Instead of that wished to cross. He beckoned to one of demand, however, Mr. Webster kindly re- the men on the opposite bank to take him marked, as he handed the client a bill for over in the boat which lay moored in sight. five hundred dollars, “Well, there; take that; The man at once left his work, came over it is all I have by me now. I wish it was and paddled Mr. Webster across the stream. more and, if you are ever able, you must He declined the payment offered him, but pay it back to me.”—LANMAN. lingered a moment, with Yankee curiosity, It is related that upon one occasion he to question the stranger. He surmised who was applied to by a very poor man to defend Mr. Webster was and with some hesitation his case in an action at law, who appealed remarked, “This is Daniel Webster, I be- to him to accept a contingent instead of a lieve.” “That is my name," replied the retaining fee, as he was unable to pay any. sportsman. “Well, ner” said the farmer, “I thing unless he gained the suit. He was am told that you can man in three to five about to expose the weak points in his case, dollars a day pleadin' cases up in Boston." when Webster interrupted him with the Mr. Webster replied that he was sometimes unfortunate information that only a few so fortunate as to receive that amount for minutes before his arrival his opponent had his services. “Well, now," returned the rus- called to engage his professional services in tic, "it seems to me, I declare, if I could the case and had paid him a retaining fee. get so much in the city pleadin' law cases, On hearing this the poor would-be client fair- I would not be a-wadin' these marshes in this ly broke down, for he had looked upon Web- hot weather, shootin' little birds.”—PETER ster's defense of his case as his only hope of HARVEY, “Anecdotes of Daniel Webster.” success. The man presented such a wo- Money Matters begone spectacle of misery that Webster's It is well known that Mr. Webster, al- | sympathies were excited and, under the im- though (ne of the foremost orators of his pulse of the moment, he took out of his time, ses a comparatively low value upon pocket the roll of bank bills he had just re. rhetorical efforts. He was at one time up ceived as his retaining fee and, giving it to on very intimate terms with a well-known the other, bade him to go at once and se- New York gentleman, now dead, who was cure the services of a “better lawyer than often at his house at Marshfield. Noting this he was," to defend his case. This action intimacy, one of his rural neighbors asked was the more characteristic as Webster was him one day, at a moment of familiar inter at the time being hard pressed for money course, "Who is this Mr. Mr. Web | by his unpaid tradesmen.-C. K. TUCKERMAN, ster? Is he a great orator?” “Great ora- “Personal Recollections of Notable People." tor!” he replied, opening his eyes with real It was during his residence in Ports- or affected astonishment; "no, sir; he soars mouth that Mr. Webster became the owner of into higher regions: he knows how to make a parcel of land in the vicinity of the White money.”—Harper's Magazine, August, 1869. Mountains, with the buildings standing there- Somewhere about the year 1826 a certain on, for the valuable consideration of his gentleman residing in Boston was thrown in- services in an important suit in one of the to almost inextrical.. uificulties by the fail. courts. The premises were known by the ure of a house for which he had become imposing name of "The Farm.” He left the responsible to a large amount. He needed tenant, who was living there at the time he legal advice, and, being disheartened, he des acquired legal title to “The Farm," in pos- sired the author of this anecdote to go with session. After his removal to Boston he him and relate his condition to Mr. Web heard nothing of his White Mountain estate ster. The lawyer heard the story entirely for several years. One summer, as he jour- through, advised his client what to do and neyed north with his wife in quest of recre- requested him to call again in a few days. ation, he resolved to turn aside from the After the gentlemen had left Mr. Webster's traveled road and ascertain the true condi. office, he came hurriedly to the door, called tion of his property. He found a very mis. upon the gentlemen to stor a moment and, erable hut upon it, occupied by an aged having approached them with his pocketbook | woman as the only tenant of “The Farm." 613 Webster OF THE GREAT He asked for a glass of water, which she due to Mr. Judkins was willingly left for readily served in a tin dipper. He then be future settlement. Attempts were made at gan to make inquiries about her prosperity various times to collect the debt-always in and the present condition of things around vain. Finally Mr. Judkins determined to go her. She said that she did not own the to Boston and see Mr. Webster himself. He farm but that it belonged to a lawyer down reached the city after a long and fatiguing in Boston by the name of Webster. “Does stage ride and, making a Sunday toilet, pro- he often come to see you, my good woman?” ceeded to the large house on the corner of asked Mr. Webster. "No," she replied, “he High and Summer streets. “Is Mr. Webster has never been near the land since I lived in ?" asked he of the servant who answered here.” “Well," said he, “what rent does he the bell. “Yes; but he cannot possibly be make you pay for the occupancy of the seen.” “But I must see him.” “No; he is farm ?” “Rent!” she exclaimed, “I don't entertaining some Washington gentlemen; pay him any rent. It is bad enough to live they are dining." Mr. Judkins had heard of here without paying anything for it; and if subterfuges and believed not the serving man. he don't fix up the house I don't mean to stay “Well, I will come in and wait until dinner here freezing to death much longer.” “Well, is over.” The puzzled servant, needed below madame," returned the kind-hearted proprie stairs, decided to take the importunate tor, “it is a pretty hard case, I confess. If stranger's name to his master. Fancy the you will accept this bill [five dollars) towards surprise of Mr. Judkins at seeing Mr. Web- holding on for another year, I will speak to ster rushing upstairs and insisting on the Mr. Webster when I next see him and per poor man's joining his friends at the dinner haps he will do something more for you." table. He would take no denial and carried So he took leave of his valuable farm and him, forcibly almost, introducing him as “my his interesting tenant.-HARVEY. old and dear friend, Mr. Judkins of Ports- Judge Burbank said: mouth," and seating him between a dis. When I was a student in Mr. Webster's office he always tinguished Bostonian and the secretary of the navy; and, to use the words of the kept a boy to sweep out and run errands. worthy cabinet-maker, “I was for four mortal Mr. Webster made a practise of giving this boy all the coppers which might be passed hours just as good as anybody; my opinion was asked on a good many subjects and to him for change when doing his errands. they all seemed to think I knew a good deal. One day Mr. Webster came to the room where I was invited to visit them and to go to I was sitting, his face all aglow with one Washington and everybody asked me to drink of his benignant smiles, and said, “Mr. Bur- wine with them; and, by George, I made up bank, that boy of ours will either make a smart man or become a great rascal. I gave my mind never to ask for my bill again. I was a poor man and needed my money, but I him a quarter to buy a paper this morning had been treated as I never expected to be and he has brought me back nineteen pen- treated in this world and I was willing to nies.” And the great man, laughing and en- pay for it.”—Harper's Magazine, July, 1870. joying the joke, swept the pennies with his hand from the table to the floor, allowing He called upon the cashier of a bank the boy to carry them off for his smartness. where he kept an account for the purpose of -Harper's Magazine, January, 1876. getting a draft discounted, when that gen- tleman expressed some surprise and casually A Boston correspondence assures us that inquired why he wanted so much money. the following, one of the many funny anec- “To spend, to buy bread and meat,” replied dotes that Portsmouth, New Hampshire, tells Mr. Webster, a little annoyed at this speech. of Mr. Webster, has not appeared in print: “But,” returned the cashier, "you have al- During Mr. Webster's residence in that city, ready on deposit in the bank no less than in his younger days, there was a furniture dealer named Judkins doing business in the three thousand dollars, and I was wondering why you wanted so much money.” This was, town, who was a very well informed as well indeed, the truth, but Mr. Webster had for. as ambitious man. He was patronized by Mr. Webster, who often dropped into the gotten it.—LANMAN. shop to order or superintend the making of Once, on his return from Washington, a some piece of furniture. These opportuni. neighbor called with a bill for hay. Mr. ties of conversing with a man so learned as Webster told him that he had just reached Mr. Webster were a delight to Mr. Judkins's home and that if he would call on the next life; and on the removal of the former to Monday he would have the money ready for Boston, the payment of a considerable debt | him. After the man had left Mr. Webster Webster Wellington 644 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES said to his son Fletcher, "I think I have paid have known that I paid this bill twice. Now, that bill and I wish you would see if you can I am going to pay it just once more and I find the receipt.” The result of the search don't believe I shall ever pay it again." was that two receipts were found. “Let Poor Mr. N- was overwhelmed with sur. those bills lie there,” he said, “and when prise and protested that when able he would our friend calls next Monday we will have refund the money. “No, Mr. N- ," said some fun with him.” On Monday the farmer Mr. Webster, "you are a poor man and I called just before dinner and Mr. Webster know you to be an honest one. Keep the said, “Come, neighbor, get your dinner with money and when you have any more hay me and then we will talk business." After to sell, bring me a load and I will buy it." dinner they went out and sat under the - WILLIAM T. DAVIS, The New England Mag. shady elm tree near the house, accompanied azine, April, 1902. by Fletcher, and, after a little general con- Daniel Webster was once sued by his versation, Mr. Webster said, "Mr. N- , butcher for a bill of long standing. Before do you keep books? I would advise you by the suit was settled he met the butcher on all means to keep books. Now, if you had the street and, to the man's great embarrass- kept books you would have known that I ment, stopped to ask why he had ceased to have paid this bill once,” and he handed him send around for his order. “Why, Mr. Web- one of the receipts. Mr. N was morti. ster," said the tradesman, “I did not think fied beyond measure and accused himself of you wanted to deal with me when I brought inexcusable negligence and forgetfulness. this suit against you.” “Tut, tut," said Mr. Mr. Webster said again, "Mr. N- , you Webster, “sue all you wish but, for heaven's don't know how important it is to keep sake, don't try to starve me to death."- books," and, handing him the second receipt, The Green Bag, April, 1914, quoting the New added, "If you had kept books you would | York Evening Post. 645 Webster OF THE GREAT Wellington WELLINGTON, ARTHUR WELLESLEY, DUKE OF, 1769-1852 English General and Statesman SOURCES ADAMS, JOIN QUINCY, "Letters." HAYDON, BENJAMIN R., "A Visit to the Atlantic Monthly. Duke of Wellington.” BEDE, CUTHBERT, Notes and Queries. HOAR, GEORGE F., “Autobiography.” BLACKWOOD, REV. WILLIAM, oration. HOPKINS, J. CASTELL, “Queen Victoria.” BOYLE, MARY, “Her Book.” JERDAN, WILLIAM, “Autobiography." BROUGHTON, LORD, “Recollections." LARPENT, F. S., Private Journal. Chambers's Journal. LYTTON, SIR HENRY, "Historical Charac- CRESPI, ALFRED J. H., The National Re ters." view. MACDONAGH, MICHAEL, Cornhill Magazine. CROKER, JOHN WILSON, "Correspondence MAXWELL, HERBERT, “Life of Wellington." and Diaries." MITFORD, REV. J., “Conversations with the Daily News, London. Duke of Wellington." DEQUINCY, THOMAS, "Essays." MOORE, THOMAS, “Journal.” Dublin University Magazine. Morning Chronicle, London. Eclectic Magazine. NEVILL, LADY DOROTHY, “Under Five Escort, T. H. S., "Society in the Country Reigns." Notes and Queries. FITCHETT, W. H., “The Great Duke.” OLD SOLDIER, AN, “Life of Wellington.” FRASER, WILLIAM, “Words of Welling. PICKERING, ANNA MARIE WILHELMINA, ton." "Memoirs." GALE, FREDERICK, “Wellington.” PLAYFAIR, LORD, "Autobiography.” GARDNER, J. D., Notes and Queries. Quarterly Review. Gentleman's Alagazine, The, RAIKES, THOMAS, “Journal." GLEIG, Rev. G. R., “Life of Wellington”; RUSSELL, G. W. E., “Collections and Recol- “Personal Reminiscences of the Duke of Well- | lections." ington”; The Fortnightly Review. SHELLEY, LADY, “Diary." GREVILLE, CHARLES F. C., “Journals.” SHORTER, CLEMENT, "Napoleon and his Fel- GRIFFITHS, ARTHUR, “Wellington”; The low Travelers.” New Century Review. STANHOPE, LORD, “Conversations with the GRONOW, CAPTAIN REES HOWELL, "Recole | Duke of Wellington.” lections." TIMBS, JOnn, "Wellingtoniana." Harper's Magazine. TOYNBEE, WILLIAM, “Glimpses of the Twen- Hawes, H. R., The Contemporary Re ties." riev. WEST, ALGERNON, “Recollections." House.” Arthur Wellesley was gazetted ensign in / ist, and a good one, but gave up the instru- the 41st regiment on the 7th of March, 1787, ment early in life. It says much for the and joined in Dublin. We have a glimpse strong bent of Wellington's mind that he of him here in one or two apocryphal stories. ceased playing because he felt that it was A lady would not accept an invitation to a too engrossing and that it would distract picnic until she had stipulated that "that him from the more serious business of life. mischievous boy Arthur Wellesley should not About the same time he resolved that he be of the party.” It is to this period, would never again touch a card. He had been no doubt, we may attribute the legend that a gambler, and had once lost so heavily in he was concerned in a street brawl and came | Dublin that he became greatly embarrassed. into collision with the Dublin "Charleys." ... He never smoked but once, when the He was clearly not a ladies' man-at no pains Prince Regent gave him a cigar, which he to please them. Lady Aldborough was fond failed to conquer.-GRIFFITHS. of confessing that she thought him a gawky youth and but poor company; for she took The former, just after returning from him with her to some entertainment and left the Peninsula, joined the Duke of Cumberland him planted there, to find his way home as and some other distinguished officers in the best he could, which he did by accepting a smoking room in the hotel at Portsmouth lift from the musicians. "I never thought," where they were staying. "I sat," said Wel- she afterwards told the great duke laugh- lington, "behind my pipe, whiffing away with ingly, “when I left you to travel with the a feeling of wonder and watching with inter- fiddlers, that you would come to play first est the countenances of the rest of the com- fiddle yourself.” He was actually a violin- | pany.” Other novices at smoking were there Wellington 646 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Ne and, as they left the room one after another satisfaction or dissatisfaction, the host at and failed to return, he noticed that the old length exclaimed, as the chef d'ouvre was smokers were on the lookout for him to fol. | being tranquilly discussed: “There, then, low. He continued to pull away, however, what does your grace say to that?" "Well, saying to himself: “Well, it will come to I don't know," was the reply; "I suppose it is an end, I suppose." And it did, before the very good but I really don't care what I pipe was finished and in such an unpleasant eat.”—London Morning Chronicle, November fashion that he never again attempted to 19, 1852. smoke.—CRESPI, The National Review, 1891. A first-rate chef was in the employment Horse Guards General Order No. 577.--| of Lord Seaford, who, not being able to af. The commander-in-chief has been informed ford to keep the man, prevailed on the Duke that the practise of smoking, by the use of of Wellington to engage him. Shortly after pipes, cigars and cheroots, has become preva entering the duke's service the chef returned lent among the officers of the army, which is to his former master and begged him, with in itself not only a species of intoxication by tears in his eyes, to take him back at re- the fumes of tobacco, but undoubtedly occa duced wages or none at all. Lord Seaford sions drinking and tippling by those who ac asked: “Has the duke been finding fault?” quire the habit; and he intreats the officers | “Oh, no; he is the kindest and most liberal commanding regiments to prevent smoking in of masters, but I serve him a dinner that the mess rooms of their several regiments, would make Ude or Francatelli burst with and in the adjoining apartments, and to dis envy and he say nothing! I go out and leave courage the practise among the officers of him to dine on a dinner badly dressed by my junior rank in their regiments.-Notes and cook maid, and he say nothing! Dat hurt my Queries, March 16, 1895. feelings, my lord."- MICHAEL MACDONAGH, Cornhill Magazine, September, 1898. The duke inherits his father's musical taste and used to play very well, and rather Never shying at trouble that he best too much, on the violin. Some circumstances could meet, the duke rarely threw away time occurred which made him reflect that this on trifles that anybody else could manage as was not a soldierly accomplishment and took well. For instance, on the back of every up too much of his time and thoughts; and ticket for his last ball (14th May, 1852) he burned his fiddles and never played again. there appeared this formula: "Please send About the same time he gave up the habit of an answer on a card, or unsealed.” Thus card playing.-CROKER. all the answers would go directly to the per- son whom it behooved to have a notion for The sobriquet conferred on Wellington of how many, out of the thousand or fifteen the Iron Duke it is true came to him in a hundred honored with invitations, supper roundabout way. An iron steamship, a nov- should be ready on his grace's table. The elty at the time, was launched in the Mersey Quarterly Review, March, 1853. and named the Duke of Wellington. The vessel came to be known as the Iron Duke Many diplomatic arts, much finesse and and the transition from the subject to the a host of intrigues were set in motion to get eponymos was too easy and obvious not to be an invitation to Almack's. Very often per- effected.-MAXWELL. sons whose rank and fortune entitled them to the entrée anywhere were excluded by the A good thing of Madame de Staël about cliqueism of the lady patronesses, for the fe- the Duke of Wellington: that “there never male government of Almack's was a pure was so great a man made of such small despotism and subject to all the caprices of materials." -MOORE. despotic rule: it is needless to add that, like Upon one occasion, in the course of his every other despotism, it was not innocent French diplomatic career, he was entertained of abuses. The fair ladies who ruled supreme at a tête-à-tête dinner by one of the most over this little dancing and gossiping world profound connoisseurs of France, who laid issued a solemn proclamation that no gentle- his own and his chef's heads together to pro- | man should appear at the assemblies with- duce a perfect combination of savors, in the out being dressed in knee breeches, white confident hope of at last exciting the great cravat and chapeau bras. On one occasion conqueror's dormant taste and carrying the the Duke of Wellington was about to ascend day by one coup. But all in vain. After the staircase to the ball room, dressed in seeing, with consternation, dish after dish black trousers, when the vigilant Mr. Willis, consumed without the slightest symptom of | the guardian of the establishment, stepped 647 Wollngton OF THE GREAT forward and said: “Your grace cannot be that he, whom all the world may have said admitted in trousers," whereupon the duke, to have envied, was often heard to say that who had great respect for orders and regu- | there was nothing in life worth living for. lations, quietly walked away.--GRONOW. GLEIG, The Fortnightly Review, October 1, • They who read these sketches can scarce- 1884, quoting Lord Douro, son of the Duke of Wellington. ly be made to understand how anxiously pub- lic opinion was affected in 1830 by the first Domestic Relations advances of railway traveling toward a sys The slow, thick speech and dull manner tem. Up to that date the possibility of ac of his early days offended her taste. “I vow quiring such a mastery over steam as to to God,” she exclaimed, "I do not know make it the instrument of locomotion by land what I shall do with my ugly son Arthur.” as well as by sea was called in question, and In her brusk, unguarded talk he was "the the engineer who proposed to construct a fool of the family.” Her “ugly son Arthur," line which would connect Liverpool with she decided, was fit for powder. And natur- Manchester was spoken of in general society ally, perhaps inevitably, the unloved boy, as next door to a madman. The work was, when he reached manhood, had little affec- however, completed and in order to give éclattion to give to an unloving mother.- to the triumph of genius over nature, the FITCHETT. Duke of Wellington was invited, in the “My father," the late duke [second Duke capacity of prime minister, to take part in of Wellington] used to say, "never showed the opening journey. It chanced that he was the least affection for any of us. Charles, at Walmer and surrounded by a large com- Jerry and I were taught to go to his room pany of guests when the invitation reached him, and not a few, especially his lady every morning after we were dressed; and, without interrupting his correspondence, for friends, were urgent with him to decline. "No great or permanent good could come of we always found him writing, he would look the invention, because stage coaches already up for a moment and say "Good morning,' and that was positively all the loving intercourse traveled at the rate of eight or nine and that passed between us.”—GLEIG, The Fort- ten miles in the hour, and if the attempt nightly Review, October 1, 1884. were made to exceed that pace, the respira- tion of the passengers would be painful, per Lady Katherine Pakenham, the wife of haps impossible.” The duke would listen to | the great duke, was married to him after a no remonstrances. IIe thought, as others lengthy engagement. During his absence in did, that the experiment was risky, and de. India illness had much impaired her looks rided the idea of accelerating the pace, as and she offered to release him; but a man of was promised, to twenty miles an hour. Even unflinching determination as regards honor, a twelve-mile pace he regarded as excessive, he stuck to his engagement-perhaps it because difficult if not impossible to control, would have been happier for both if he had and agreed in the opinion that the iron way not done so. The duchess once told some would never, for general traffic, supersede our one (the conversation having turned upon macadamized roads, then brought to perfec• keeping resolutions), “When I was a girl I tion.—GLEIG. made three resolutions. First, I determined that I would never marry a soldier; second- We owe to him the pregnant apothegm: ly, that I would never marry an Irishman; "Nothing is more tragical than a victory, and thirdly, that I would not be long en- except a defeat.”—GRIFFITHS. gaged. And all those three resolutions I The term, now become part of the lan broke. I married the Duke of Wellington, a guage: "Circumstances over which I have no soldier and an Irishman, after an engagement control,” originated with the Duke of Wel- of twelve years.”—NEVILL. lington.-FRASER. The duchess appears to have been an in- His bed was so narrow that an old mili- offensive, well-meaning lady, with a some- tary friend, to whom he showed it, exclaimed: what inconvenient addiction to what she con- “Why, a man has no room to turn here." ceived to be the wifely duty. For instance, “When a man begins to turn in bed,” re- during the Peninsular campaign she sent out plied the duke, "it is time for him to turn to headquarters for her lord's bodily comfort out of it.”- London Morning Chronicle, No. a large consignment of warm underclothing, vember 19, 1852. which after various adventures finally My father's thoughts were given up en- | reached its destination. “What the devil's tirely to the country and the consequence was | all this?” was the great captain's complimen. 649 Wellington OF THE GREAT At entering a large town in Spain it was The duke told me that he would have not unusual for the Duke of Wellington to gone to America if the war there had not been inquire particularly about the height of the put an end to before the spring-SHELLEY. cathedral or finest church in the place. Those questions, which were of course con- On being asked whether the Spanish sidered as marks of interest by el Lord in ladies had really exhibited such enthusiasm, their splendid ecclesiastical structures, were he said: “Quite true; they not only strewed flowers, but took off their costly shawls and answered with great complacency by the au- thorities, civil and religious. “Then if it is scarves, regardless of the cost to their hus. so high you must have long ladders for clean- bands, and spread them under the horses' ing it occasionally ?" This question, though feet. And their enthusiasm did not end its scope could not be so easily comprehended, with the day, for some days after, meeting was also answered, usually in the affirmative. a group of ladies, the first suddenly embraced In which case the ladders marched on with me and then handed me over to her com- the English wagons to assist at the next panions until I had gone round them all.”- storm.—The Gentleman's Magazine, June, Littell's Living Age, January 1, 1853, quot- 1818. ing The London Daily News. The French and English armies, as they Referring to the advance from the Douro became better acquainted by frequent con- to the Ebro, the duke stated that he "got tact, grew to be civil to each other, particu famously taken in on one occasion.” “The larly after we had passed the Pyrenees, and troops had taken to plundering a great deal. the advance posts and pickets were on the It was necessary to stop it and I issued an most friendly terms. There was a small pub order announcing that the first man caught lic house beyond the Ardour, where the Eng. in the act should be hanged upon the spot. lish used to cross over and sup with the One day, just as we were sitting down to French officers; and in the line before dinner, three men were brought to the door Bayonne, a French officer came out one day of the tent by the provost. The case against to our advance posts, and, saluting the of. them was clear and I had nothing for it but to desire that they should be led away and ficer, inquired whether one of our parties had not possessed themselves of three mus- hanged in some place where they might be kets and three sets of French accouterments seen by the whole column in its march the next day. I had a good many guests with of a French party. Inquiry was made and me on that occasion and, among the rest, I the arms, etc., found. It appears that the think, Lord Nugent. They seemed dreadfully English soldiers had given the French some shocked and could not eat their dinner. I dollars to buy them some bottles of brandy, didn't like it much myself, but, as I told but, not trusting entirely to the honor of the them, I had no time to indulge my feelings, enemy, had insisted on keeping three mus- | I must do my duty. Well, the dinner went kets, etc., as a pledge that the brandy should off rather gravely and next morning, sure be forthcoming. The dollars were returned, enough, three men in uniform were seen and the French got their accouterments again. hanging from the branches of a tree close to The advance posts always gave notice to each the high road. It was a terrible example and other when they were in danger. On one produced the desired effect; there was no occasion, when the French army were ad- || more plundering. But you may guess my vancing suddenly and in force, the French astonishment when some months afterwards posts suddenly cried out to ours: “Courez I learned that one of my staff had taken vite, courez vite, on va vous attaquer.” I counsel with Dr. Hume and, as three men had always encouraged this; the killing of a poor just died in the hospital, they hung them up fellow of a vidette or carrying off a post and let those three culprits return to their could not influence the battle, and I always regiments.” “Weren't you angry, duke?” when I was going to attack sent to tell them was the question. "Well, I suppose I was at to get out of the way. Lambert once car- first; but as I had no wish to take the poor ried off a post, but he had given them warn- fellows' lives, and only wanted the example, and as the example had the desired effect, ing that they were coming too far, and that if they did not go he should be obliged to my anger soon died out and I confess to you that I am very glad now that the three lives carry them off: they did not take the hint, and the next day he did as he had threatened were spared.”—GLEIG. and the French said that it was all fair. On one occasion he [General Crawford] CROKER, quoting Wellington. | remained across a river by himself that is, Wellington 650 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES only with his own division, nearly a whole about Waterloo, saying that "the next most day after he was called in by Wellington. | dreadful thing to a battle lost was a battle He said he knew he could defend his position. | won.”-MOORE. Lord Wellington, when he came back, only This great general, who never before said: “I am glad to see you safe, Craw- showed such talents, returned to Brussels ford.” The latter said: “Oh, I was in no after the battle; and, when Mr. Creevey danger, I assure you.” “But I was from called upon him, was walking distractedly your conduct,” said Wellington. Upon which about the room, exclaiming: “Those Guards! Crawford observed: "He is damned crusty Those Guards! What fine fellows!” During to-day."-LARPENT. dinner the tears rolled down his cheeks and “They are the scum of the earth; ...| he could not recover his spirits at all. all fellows who have enlisted for drink. That SHELLEY. is the plain fact-they have all enlisted for drink.” Again, speaking of non-commissioned When the duke was sitting to Philips, officers he observed: “Nothing would be so the latter asked him: “Was not your grace valuable as ... soldiers of that rank if you surprised at Waterloo ?” “Never till now." could get them sober, which is impossible.” he answered.-MITFORD. His views of discipline were worthy of the Speaking of the tree under which he was worst drill sergeant of Frederick William of said to have taken up his position at Water- Prussia. "I have no idea of any great loo, some one mentioned that it had been effect being produced,” he once said before a nearly all cut away and that people would royal commission, "by anything but the fear soon doubt if it ever had existed. The duke of immediate corporal punishment." Flog. at once said that he remembered the tree ging was the one recipe for all difficulties and perfectly, and that a Scotch sergeant had he declared that it was absolutely impossible come to tell him that he observed that it to manage the army without it.The Quar- was a mark for the enemy's cannon, begging terly Review, April, 1900. him to move from it. A lady said: "I hope you did, sir.” He replied: "I really forget, At Waterloo but I know I thought it good advice.”—AN The other stood amidst the growing Old SOLDIER. grain, seeing his army wasting away before those terrible assaults, and when the officers The duke said that the news of Water- around him saw inevitable ruin, unless the loo was first brought over by a Jew in the order for retreat was given, he tore up the service of Rothschild. He embarked at unripened corn and, grinding it between his Ostend and nobody on board the vessel knew hands, groaned out in his agony: “Oh, that of it but he. The way he got it was this: Blucher, or night, would come.”_"Personal He was at Ghent, looking in with a crowd Reminiscences,” The Atlantic Monthly, May, at a window, when a messenger arrived to 1858. the king of France, and he saw that the king, after reading the letter, embraced the "Bonaparte has humbugged me,” was messenger and “kissed him all around the Wellington's comment before the fight, and room and all about the house." Upon this who can forget his remark when all was the Jew felt sure that the news was a vic- over? "It was a damned near thing; it was tory and without an instant's delay set off the nearest thing I ever saw." "Ah, if it | upon his journey to England. ... At Ostend, were only to be done over again," sighed Na- at embarking, he saw Malcolm, to whom he poleon to Gourgaud.-SHORTER. declared that he knew no news_observed At Waterloo the colonel commanding the strict silence all the way-got to London-- British artillery observed to the duke: "I | went with Rothschild to the stock exchange have got the exact range of the spot where and attended to a little business there-and, Bonaparte and his staff are standing. If when that was done, then Rothschild brought your grace will allow me I think I can pick | him to Lord Liverpool, early in the after- some of them off.” “No, no," replied he, noon.-STANHOPE. "generals-in-chief have something else to do The duke, who was riding behind us, in a great battle beside firing at each other.” -REV. WILLIAM BLACKWOOD, oration, Phila- watched their approach; and at length, when within a hundred yards of us, exclaimed: delphia, November 23, 1852. "Up, Guards, and at them again!"--Notes Scott mentioned that the Duke of Well and Queries, September 17, 1853, quoting a lington had once wept, in speaking to him | letter of Captain Batty, of the Grenadier 653 Wellington OF THE GREAT necessary in those days of peace to purchase tributed to Picton; I have taken the trouble advancement: “Yes, your grace can do me a to ascertain that it was of Crawfurd of whom great service," was the prompt reply; "if you the officer spoke. He said to the duke: will give me your arm across the room and "General Crawfurd, my lord, says that if the appear to take some interest in me, you will provisions of his department are not ready make my fortune.” The service was forth on time, he will hang me. What do you with rendered and an explanation sought. advise me to do?” The duke calmly re- The fact was that the officer in question was plied: "I strongly advise you to obtain them; paying his addresses to a rich widow of General Crawfurd, I observe, keeps his word.” the place who still hesitated to accept him. -FRASER. (Lincoln is credited with a sim- But she was at the ball and she saw withilar reply in relation to the two Sher- her own eyes how greatly her pretendant was mans.) appreciated. This settled the question; the I found the English regiments always officer was accepted, married, bought his way | in the best humor when they were well sup- back to full pay, rose steadily till he reached plied with beef; the Irish when we were the highest honor in his profession.-GRIF- in the wine countries, and the Scots when FITIS, The New Century Review, February, the dollars for pay came up.-CBOKER. 1897. Scott mentions a curious circumstance Some years ago it was proposed to him that at the same moment the Duke of Wel. to purchase a farm in the neighborhood of lington should have been living in one of Strathfieldsaye, which lay contiguous to his Bonaparte's palaces, and Bonaparte in the estate, and was therefore a valuable acquisi- duke's old lodgings at St. Helena. “Only tell tion, to which he assented. When the pur- Bony that I hope he finds my old lodgings chase was completed his steward congratu- at Longwood as comfortable as I find his at lated him upon having had such a bargain, the Champs d'Elysées.”—MOORE. as the seller was in difficulties and forced to part with it. “What do you mean by a As is well known he was the bluntest bargain ?" said the duke. The other replied: of men and particularly intolerant of fussi- “It was valued at eleven hundred pounds | ness of any kind. When, for instance, a and I got it for eight hundred.” “In that question arose as to whether the military case," said the duke, "you will please carry salute should be given to a Protestant bishop the other three hundred pounds to the late in Canada, his grace replied that his sol- owner and never talk to me of cheap land diers were to pay no attention to anything again.”-RAIKES, “Journal,” January 21, about the prelate but his sermons.—NEVILL. 1844. At the time of Queen Caroline's trial the Some Tart Rejoinders mob of London sided with the queen and the He stopped a labored eulogium upon the duke's strong adhesion to the king made him military genius displayed at the battle of extremely unpopular. Riding one day up Assaye by saying bluntly: “There was no Grosvenor Place to Apsley House, he was military genius at all-nothing of the kind. beset by a gang of workmen who were mend- I found two great armies confined where ing the road. They formed a cordon, shoul- they could not escape, and without leaders. dered their pick-axes, and swore they would It was merely a question of common sense.” not let the duke pass until he said: “God -Littell's Living Age, December 11, 1852, save the queen.” “Well, gentlemen, since quoting The London Daily News. you will have it 80—'God save the queen' and may all your wives be like her.”-Rus. When Blucher, in his hate of France, SELL. refused the Order of the Holy Ghost, which Louis XVIII. wished to confer, and the duke The Duke of Wellington, it will be re- tried in vain to persuade him to accept, membered, upon the queen saying to him: “If I do," said the vengeful Prussian, “I “You see how punctual I am, duke; I am will hang the order on me behind.” “And even before my time,” replied with blunt if you do,” observed the duke, “you will veracity, “That, your majesty, is not punc- show how much you value it, by hanging it | tuality.”-BOYLE. where the enemy will never hit it.”-AN OLD Two or three phrases of the conversation SOLDIER. that took place on the occasion [between The story is well known of the commis- | George IV. and Wellington) have been re- sary who came to the duke to complain of peated to me by one likely to have heard the general of his division. This was at- | them from both parties concerned. "Good Wellington 656 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES A Few Foibles "Field Marshal the Duke of Wellington pre- Niebuhr's history was recommended to sents his compliments to Mr. —, and begs him; and he began it. He read on until he to say that he does not see what his house reached the narrative of Cæsar's cruelty to at Strathfieldsaye has to do with the public his prisoners; and there he shut the book. press.”—HOPKINS. Nothing could induce him to go further. This Wellington had one foible as a collector. was too much. He would not have his idols His taste lay in watches; his fondness for so thrown down.-GLEIG. them rivaled that of the Emperor Charles The following anecdote of the Duke of | V., who amused himself in the cloister with Wellington may be relied upon as entirely watchmaking. The duke loved to chat with authentic. It has never appeared in Eng- M. Bréguet, the watchmaker, who was al- land: Lord Wellington was dining at a pub- ways a welcome caller at Apsley House. He lic dinner at Bordeaux, given to him by was very particular about timekeeping, yet the authorities, when he received a despatch his watches often disappointed him, probably from Paris informing him of the abdica- because he insisted on winding-or forgetting tion of Napoleon. He turned to his aide-de to wind—them up himself. The only clock camp Fremantle. “Well,” said he in his he could really depend upon in Apsley House knowing, sportsman tone, "we've run the old was that which still stands in the hall, and fox to his hole at last.” “What do you was as trustworthy as that at the Horse mean ?” said Fremantle. “Napoleon has ab- Guards. The duke had six or seven watches dicated." Fremantle uttered an exclamation always going in his room and when he tray. of surprise and delight. "Hush-not a word,” eled had as many in the portmanteau which said the duke; "let's have our dinner com fitted into the front of his carriage.—GRIF- fortably.” He laid the letter beside his plate FITHS. and went on calmly eating his dinner. The My friend, George Smythe, the late Lord dinner was over. “There,” said he to Mon. Strangford, once told me that, staying at sieur Lynch, the mayor of Bordeaux, “there Walmer Castle with the Duke of Welling. is something that will please you." The ton, the duke informed him one morning mayor cast his eye over the letter and in an at breakfast that he was obliged to go up instant was on the table announcing the to London immediately, as all his razors news. The salon rang with acclamations for required setting, but he would be back to several minutes. The mayor then begged dinner. Lord Strangford very naturally of- leave to give a toast: “Wellington, the lib- fered to lend the duke his razors, which, erator of France.” There was another thun- luckily for the duke, he did not accept; for der of applause. The Portuguese consul did Lord Strangford, who was somewhat care- the like with the same effect. The mayor less about his personal appearance, shaved rose again and gave: "Wellington, the lib- with razors something like miniature saws, erator of Europe.” Here the applause was which would make one shudder to look at. astounding. Wellington, who had sat all the Lord Strangford then offered to take the while picking his teeth, now rose, made one razors to Dover, but the duke replied: "The of his knowing, civil bows to the company man who always sharpens my razors has round. "Jack," said he, turning to Freman- sharpened them for many years; I would not tle, “let's have coffee."-Harper's Magazine, trust them with any one else. He lives in May, 1854. Jermyn street and there they must go. So A subaltern named the duke as "Wel you see, Strangford, every man has a weak lington” within the old soldier's hearing and point, and my weak point is about the sharp- was told by him that he should not speak ening of my razors. Perhaps you are not 80 familiarly of the commander of the forces. aware that I shave myself and brush my own "I beg your pardon, your grace," said the clothes. I regret that I cannot clean my young officer, “but I never heard of any pre own boots, for men servants bore me and the fix to the name of Cæsar or Napoleon, and I presence of a crowd of idle fellows annoys treated your name with similar honor.”— me more than I can tell you.”—GBONOW. GALE. At two o'clock I went out to join the He wanted no publicity and would per shooters. They told me that after I came mit none. One newspaper representative, in the duke shot far better than he had done in asking for the privileges usually given to the the morning. Bad was the best, however; press on such occasions (the visit of Queen for he had contrived to empty two powder Victoria) received this gentle intimation: | horns and a half with very little to show Wellington William I. 658 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES dear Bishop of London-It will always give the collector's plan is to write to every per- me great pleasure to see you at Strathfield- son of eminence and to accuse his eldest son saye. Pray come there whenever it suits | of bilking his washerwoman. He places his your convenience, whether I am at home or own letter and the reply face to face.”- not. My servant will receive orders to show FRASER. you as many pairs of my breeches as you The duke said that when he came through may wish, but why you should wish to in- Paris in 1814, Madame de Staël had a grand spect those I wore at the battle of Waterloo party to meet him. Du Pradt was there. In is quite beyond the comprehension of Yours conversation he said: “Europe owes her sal- most truly, Wellington.” The letter was vation to one man.” “But before he gave received, as may be supposed, with great me time to look foolish," said the duke, "Du surprise by the Bishop of London. He showed Pradt put his hand on his own breast and it to the Archbishop of Canterbury and to said: 'It is I.'”-HAYDON. other discreet persons; they came to the melancholy conclusion that the great Duke (In one of De Quincey's essays a curious of Wellington had evidently lost his senses. incident in connection with the use of the The Bishop of London (Blomfield) declared semaphore telegraphs is described. A ship that he had not written to the duke for two had arrived at Plymouth or Portsmouth with years and to receive this extraordinary in despatches from Lord Wellington and im- timation puzzled the whole bench of bishops. portant news from the Peninsula. This was Explanations, however, of a satisfactory kind, being transmitted in an epitomized form to followed and the friendship of these worthy London when a dense fog came on and inter- men was not changed.-FRASER. rupted until the following morning the trans- On one occasion he received a letter in mission of the message. The words “Welling. the following terms: I correct the spelling: ton defeated” had been telegraphed to London "Mr. Tomkins ventures to address the Duke and the temporary ending of the message at of Wellington. Mr. Tomkins's mother is a this point gave rise to the greatest excite- washerwoman; Mr. Tomkins regrets to say ment in the metropolis until the completion that, having washed for the Marquess of of the sentence "the French at Salamanca" Douro for many years, his mother has been arrived the next morning, when the fog had unable to obtain payment for the last three cleared off.) years. Mrs. Tomkins is very poor and can- WILKES, John, 1727-1797. English states. not afford to lose the money. She hopes the man. duke will kindly pay it. Mrs. Tomkins's ad- dress is Wagers were laid that from the time of ” After carefully reading and leaving his house in Great George Street till considering the letter, the duke sent the fol- he reached Guildhall there would not be a lowing reply: "Field Marshal the Duke of person whom he might meet and converse Wellington has received a letter from Mr. with, but would leave him with a smile or Tomkins, stating that the Marquess of Douro hearty laugh.-J. H. JESSE, “George the is in debt to his mother, Mrs. Tomkins. The Third.” Duke of Wellington is not the Marquess of Douro. The duke regrets to find that his eldest At the period of Wilkes's popularity son has not paid his washerwoman's bill. Mrs. every wall bore his name and every window Tomkins has no claim upon the Duke of his portrait. In china, in bronze, or in Wellington. The duke recommends her, fail- marble, he stood upon the chimney-pieces of ing another application, to place the matter half the houses in the metropolis; he swung into the hands of a respectable solicitor." | upon the sign-post of every village, of every Some six weeks later the duke had a dinner great road throughout the country. He used party at Apsley House. One of the guests, himself to tell with much glee of a mon- with whom he was on intimate terms, intro archical old lady, behind whom he accident- duced the subject of autographs and some one ally walked, looking up and murmuring present asked the duke if he was not torment. within his hearing in much spleen: “He ed in this respect. The duke replied: "Oh, swings everywhere but where he ought." yes; constantly.” The friend said: “Some Wilkes passed her and, turning round, polite- days ago I was examining a most interesting | ly bowed.--Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, collection put together by a person who has May 19, 1832. labored at it for many years. I saw your Not content with the ordinary indul- grace's in the place of honor in the book.” gences of a depraved taste, these associates “Which was that ?" said the duke. “Well, I and others founded the well-known compan- 659 Wellington OF THE GREAT William I. ionship of the Medmenham Monks. They Boswell, dining with the sheriffs and purchased the ruined abbey of Medmenham judges of the Old Bailey, complained that he on the Thames and there practised what the | had had his pocket picked of his handker- gossips of the day alleged to be the most | chief. “Pooh, pooh," said Alderman Wilkes, revolting tragedies on the sacred mysteries | “it is nothing but the ostentation of a of the Christian faith. Tradition has, in Scotchman, to let the world know that he all probability, by no means made the least had possessed a handkerchief."-JOHN TIMBS, of their excesses. Dashwood had been com- "Century of Anecdotes.” pelled to fly from Rome for his scandalous Mr. Alderman Burnell, who had begun conduct in the Sistine Chapel on the night life as a bricklayer, having a soft pudding of Good Friday and he now entered the Abbey and became its abbot. The monks to help, and doing it clumsily with a spoon, Wilkes advised him to take a trowel to it. - were twelve in number, but there were a W. F. RAE, “Wilkes, Sheridan, Fox.” number of novices waiting for admission into this precious brotherhood. Wilkes and Wilkes once dined in company with Sandwich became candidates for the same George IV., then Prince of Wales; it was vacancy. The latter was chosen as the more about that time when the laudable custom of wicked and few will contest the judgment of drinking toasts, the health of ladies, was their associates on such a point. Wilkes re- giving way to sentiments, as they were called. venged himself for this slight on his char- | Now Wilkes overheard the prince talking of acter in an appropriate fashion. He shut a him pretty freely, so in due time, when baboon in a chest and let him out at the Wilkes' sentiment was called for, he gave: moment when Lord Sandwich was invoking | “The king, and long may he live.” “Why, the devil. Both the revelers and the monkey when did you become so loyal?” exclaimed being equally frightened, a scene of great the prince. “Ever since I had the honor of confusion followed and during the uproar knowing your royal highness," answered the animal leaped upon Lord Sandwich's Wilkes. After this Wilkes attended very shoulders, who straightway fell on his knees constantly the levees. On one occasion George and loudly expressed his penitence. For III. addressed him (this George III. told me this practical joke he never forgave Wilkes. | himself) inquiring after his friend Sergeant --W. B. DUFFIELD, Cornhill Magazine, De. Glynne. The sergeant had been very inti- cember, 1897. mate for years with Wilkes-had been en- He and Colonel Luttrell were standing gaged with him in many of his seditious transactions and employed for him as his together as rival candidates for the repre- counsel in all his important Westminster sentation of the county of Middlesex in Par- IIall trials and transactions. liament. Looking down with great appar- “My friend, sir?" said Wilkes to the king; "he is no ent apathy on the sea of human beings, con- friend of mine.” “Why,” said the king, "he sisting chiefly of his own votaries and friends, which stretched beneath him, "I wonder," he was your friend and your counsel in all your trials.” “Sir," rejoined Wilkes, "he was my whispered to his opponent, "whether among that crowd the fools or the knaves predom- counsel, but he was no friend; he loves se- inate." "I will tell them what you say," dition and licentiousness, which I never de- lighted in. In fact, sir, he was a Wilkite, replied the astonished Luttrell, "and thus put which I never was.” The king said that an end to you.” Perceiving that Wilkes the confidence and the humor of the man treated the threat with the utmost indif- made him forget at the moment his im- ference, “Surely,” he added, "you don't mean pdence.–LORD ELDON, “Anecdote Book.” to say, you could stand here an hour after I did so?” “Why not?” replied Wilkes; "it WILLIAM I., 1797-1888. Emperor of Ger. is you who would not be alive an instant many. after.” “How so?" inquired Luttrell. “Be- A distinguished personage was once in con- cause,” said Wilkes, "I should merely affirm versation with his majesty when the guards that it was a fabrication and they would de- came by. The kaiser was most particular stroy you in the twinkling of an eye.”— to fasten the top button of his uniform before JESSE. showing himself to his soldiers, whereat the Once, when the House seemed resolved visitor marveled greatly. He asked the em- not to hear him and a friend urged him to peror why he should stand so much upon desist, “Speak," he said, “I must, for my ceremony with men who saw him about daily speech has been in print in the newspapers face to face. The emperor replied: “That this half hour.”—JESSE. ) is not the question at all; as the head of the INDEXES Index 674 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Teaching a colt to pace-Exhibition at West Point-Fatal kindness, 260. A question of endurance-How he proposed, 261. Characteristics. No love for music-Re- buked prevarication Superstitious about turp- ing back, 261. Sneered at showy uniforms His nearest approach to profanity-Proud of his horse-Poor, but paid a debt-Jesse tells of his speech-making, 262. Fondness for Tobacco. Smoked little when young; when tobacco became a passion. 262. Whittling and smoking-Twenty-four cigars a day--Approved of "No Smoking" order, 2 3. The Soldier. Loyal to locality-Doubts as to his own ability, 203. A severe disci- plinarian-Careless as to danger-Atell-tale haversack-Defying orders--Self-depreciation and justice, 264. Disbelief of alarming re- ports-His retreat covered- Declined civil service, 265. In Lighter Vein. Eating pie one of the or- ders of the day--A pun on General Winter- Sarcasm on General Pillow-Grim wit in a despatch-An exception to his dislike of pro- fanity-Colored rebels' mistake, 266. With Lee at Appomattox, 335. Objected to cigarettes Criticizing Sumner-Objected to hair parted in the middle and a monocleThe California ferry -- Art versus reality-Experience with a written speech-A woman's alternative. 267. in Europe. No appreciation of art. 267. Decorating himself-An anomalous remark, 208. Laughing at Death. Joking in the face of death, 208. Grattan, Henry. The quality of the water- Eccentric conduct. 268. Greeley, Ilorace, Proud of his silk stockings- Sarcastic treatment of an angry politician- Meals of little account-Approved of hell, 269. Plenty of talk, but little to eat-Wanted solitude to digest his anger-Stories of his bad penmanship-Noted dislikes-Sad experi- ence on moving day, 270. Sarcasm at his as. sociates The value of truth-telling-His part of brandy and water--Poor judgment as to investments. 271. Grouchy, Marshal. Re-visiting Waterloo, 272. Guillotin, Dr. Nothing to do with the guillotine -Ilis propositions to the assembly-Incon- solable for blemish on his life, 272. Previous use of the guillotine, 27.3. Gustavus III. Attacked his own guardTreat- ment of a satirist-Superstitious horror of red_Kind wishes for his assassin, 273. in the intersus reanine alternative: 967. Shakespeare-A lasting affection, 239. In- sanity, 240. During the American Revolution. Opposi- tion to him designated as a lack of virtue Kind wishes for Americans--Delusive news, 210. Franklin and his lightning conductors, 206, 240, Disagreeable, but agreed to, 240. Regrets at the loss of America, 241. George IV. A children's drawing-room- The baby in wax-Ilis gorgeous raiment deli- cate question of etiquette, 241. Snuff for fashion's sake Arrested after a inidnight frolic-Arrested with William IV.-A prac- tical joke. 242. A race between geese and turkeys-Another practical jokeA comedy duel. 243. Imagined bravery at Waterloo A poor classical scholar---Resented the tell- ing of an improper story--Resented Brum- mell's familiarity, 244. Gave Sydney Smith & quid iidris_cuse yoney Smith pro quo-Holkham's repulse, 245, Severe denunciation by Fox, 199. Wellington's blunt rebuke, 653. First meeting with his queen, 245, Joy at supposed death of queen À costly bit of royalty--Assists Sheridan to join a club--His collection of keepsakes, 246. Gibbon, Edward. Franl:lin's rebuke, 208. Gladstone. Specious argument arrested a flog- ging-Innovations in schoud life-A Scotch servant's far-sightedness. 247. Objected to vicarious punishment-Youthful determination -Abhorrence of tobacco-His father's poor opinion of him-Distaste for Establishment- Opposed to the revision of the Old Testament; two wagers all he ever made, 248. Good health attributed to rest on the Sabbath-Seeking for knowledge-Curiosity as to values-Å lesson in potato-culture-knew values of New York real estate His favorite books-Coining popu- lar phrases-Lived by a time-table-Objected to typewriting-Ilis strong prejudices, 219. Interment for books-Always ready to oblige, 230. In Parliament. The power of his eye- Magic personality-Fond of a solitary stroll --An expanding reporter-His unknown guar- dians-The marks of his eloquence on a table, 2.0. Violence in debate with ludicrous re- sult-An ominous incident- The amputated finger--His enigmatical style-Grew disdain- ful of rules, 251. Relations with Disraeli, 23, 24, 26, 28, 481. His Farorite Amusement. Complete rest in felling trees-Numerous presents of axes, 2.71. Rather destructive--Placing a tree on trial Contempt for a man who knew nothing about trees, 252. II umor and the Lack of it. Humorous, but did not know it--His ideas of mixing drinks -Pain largely imagination-A joke he ap- preciated_Delighted with Punch and Judy, 252. Looked for contradiction from Cham- berlain, 114. Skilful at badinage.His lack of humor raised laughs-Not even a gleam of humor, 232. What he did laugh at, 233. The Grand Old Man. Belief in the efficacy of prayer-A case of heroic sympathy-Re- senting an attempt at blackmail-"The only foolish thing Burke ever wrote"-Characteris- tic, even if untrue, 233. Kindness in church - Gratitude at his hier. 254. Godiva, Lady. An ocryphal legend, 254. Gordon, "Chinese." Some childhood traits, 254. Even the storks were suspicious-Treatment of a dishonest beggar-Distributing tracts- Saving a child's life, 255, Keeping track of his waifs-The site of the Garden of Eden ; The forbidden tree, 256. Did not marry and wished for death-Declined a large salary, 257. Also a large fortune-Objected to pub- licity, 550. His use for a medal - Death was welcome, 257 Grammont, Chevalier. Specimens of his wit, 257. Grant. Naming the Baby. Named Hiram Ulys- ses-Sinterpolated by mistake, 258. Regis- tered as Ulysses Simpson-Baptized as Ulys- ses S.. 239. Experience urith Horses. His famous horse- trade-The kangaroo and the trick pony, 259. ce of toho Youthfui a objected Hancock, General. A prompt mustering-in-De- clined gift of silver service-Crushing reply to insolence, 274. Harlan, Judge Curious relief from embarrass. ment, 274. The dignity of judicial position Objected to a telephone-"The most profane silence''--Ilis only fear of death Tobacco on the bench-Veracity and distance Politeness on death-bed, 275. Harrison, Benjamin. Coldness of his manner Amusing pretended ignorance, 275. Harrison, W. H. Love for classic lore. 636. Re- buke to an inquisitive soldier-From bich of fices to clerkship-Result of his suit for slander, 276. Henrietta Maria. Coined the appellation "Roundhead"-Her poverty at the French court, 276. Henry III. Punishment for religious fraud Attempt to regulate dress--His fondness for dogs. 277. His belief in the supernatural im- posed upon--Antipathy to cats, 278. Henry IV. His mother sang at his birth-Her reward therefor, 278. Fondness for children, 439. His daily menu--Boxed his wife's ears Marital amenities-- The funeral of Gabrielle d'Estrées-Humility with a reservation. 279. Sarcastic reply loses friendship of Elizabeth. 179. Wanted candor in his biography, 280. Ilis unrestrained lust, 408. A witticism when wounded-Love for his child-Humor in a 677 Index OF THE GREAT *drining Stanton right in a matter of misplaced clem- ency, 357. Pardoned the accused; punished the accuser-Wanted, a name, more than merit-Liked Artemus Ward excepting one chapter-Stanton disgusted with Lincoln's fondness for Nasby, 358. With the Politicians. Demanded funds de. spite the constitution - England like an un- skilled barber, 359. On the policy of captur- ing Davis-Advice to Lord Lyons ---The cross- ing of Fox river-Resenting reflection on Ken- tucky, 360. The proposed arrest of Thomp- son-Vanity and a funeral, 361. Douglas City changed to Lincoln. 168. Dealing with Critics. A warning to clergy- men-Warnings against the Shermans-The vexed question of slavery, 361, 362. A po- litical tally-sheet-Fault-finding with his cabi- net, 362. The Lord and common-looking peo- ple, 303. With Seekers for Office. Fun with General Sherman-Nobility not necessarily a handi- cap-The difficulty of saying "No," 363. A roundabout negative-Adjusting a difficulty -Asked for the smallpox, 364. Other Stories Told by Lincoln : How Grant rode the trick pony, 259. Bill Sykes's dog, 364. The boy and the coon-The special funeral train-The traveler in the storm--The henpecked husband-A negro de- bating club, 365. The monkey with the big tail The counterfeit billThe drunken driver and the judge, 306. A Daniel Webster story, 635. Livingston, Edward. Answering a soldier's com- plaint-Geographical honor followed by a loan; abandoned by one whose life he had saved. 366. A pun in his sleep, 367. Louis I. Fondness for Poe- Childish amuse- ment. 367. Kindness in an emergency--A gift doubled-A mattress stuffed with beards and mustaches-Devotion to Lola Montez, 368. Louis II. Abhorrence of ugliness-First re quest on attaining majority-Insanity due to a love-affair, 368. Rebuking laughter-"Lohen- grin" with realistic setting-Mourning for Wagner-A horror of firearms-Fantastic splendor, 369. Louis IX. His severe regimen-Punishment for immorality, 369. Origin of dice, 370, Louis XI. Made an abbot of an infant-Agnes Sorel's memory-A day on the black list. 370. Louis XII. Consummation of marriage by proxy, 370. Kissed every woman in Lom- bardy, 324. Louis XIII. Did not want to be a king, 370. His father's biography, 280. Frequently wbipped, 399. Etiquette of getting out of bed, 370. Solemnity at dinner-Reproached décolleté dressing-Excessive modesty, 371. Wanted to die on Friday, 372, Napoleon Bona parte a descendant, 70. Louis XIV. Accused the Almighty of ingrati- tude-Infidelity preferable to heresy-His compliment to Massillon-Flattery extraor- dinary-Reason for an empty church, 372. Pro- tection in the confessional-Confusion of depu- tiesA profitable witticism-Flattery side- tracked-Sought the handsomest things at the lowest price, 373. Hanging for stealing in the palace. 374. First amused, then disgusted with Christina, 139. Breaks off marriage ne- gotiations with her. 140. Sarcastic advice from Frederick II., 215. A dread of death, 374. The Tyrant. Prohibiting debate-Anxious for an heir-Compliments of the fishwomen -A Scotch parson's prayer, 374. Delicate Problems in Etiquctte. "Majesty" or "Serenity." 37 4. The entrées at court- Etiquette at the table-Trouble at the recep- tion of a roval bride, 375. The crime of Madame de Torcy - Etiquette in church, 376. A question of the word "for"-No conversa- tion at a reception, 377. His Mistresses. Accident creates a head- dress. 377. Tampering with the mails. 402. Montespan's care for her brother--Louise de la Vallière's declaration of love, 377. Her public atonement-The king not affected at her death, 378. Louis XV. Dressing his tutor's hair-Destruc- tive habits-A miserly lover-Takes to tapes- try work, 378. Polite dismissal of a minis. ter-Indifferent at a sudden death-Pardon with a condition-Tampering with the mail, 379, 462. Table etiquette-The dust on the bed, 379. Walpole at the king's rising- The etiquette of a drink. 380. Lavishness of Du Barry-Warning from Du Barry, 168. Incident with Marie Antoinette and Du Barry, 395. A barometer of his popularity, 380. Louis XVI. Awkwardness, 381. Commission to Beaumarchais to destroy libels on Marie Antoinette, 31. A fateful bust, 191. Guests brought their furniture Fortunes from the sale of titles-Disliked court etiquette-Fond of making locks, 381. His brutality-Im- posed upon by false princes-Robespierre buried beneath the king's monument, 382. Louis XVIII. His punctuality-Flattery and etiquette. 383. Etiquette as a political weapon, 386. Approved of Rapp's sorrow at the death of Napoleon-The size of the mob changed his mind, 383. Lack of courtesy at the table The royal snuff-box for the king alone_Grants a pension to Tallien-Had his share of the bribes, 384. Blücher and the Pont d'Iena Quick housecleaning at the Tuileries-A severe loss, his slippers, 385. Louise, Queen. Captivated Napoleon, 438. Her toast abbreviated by Napoleon, 443. Louis Philippe. Careful with human life, 385. His nickname of "Old Umbrella"-Spreads false reports in order to gain in the stock market-His enormous appetite--Delighted in carving ham-An amusing accident-Eti- quette as a political weapon against him-A false alarm. 386. Famous remark to the dy- ing Talleyrand, 597. A memento of his poverty, 386. When the outlook for royalty was bad, 387. Lyndhurst,' Lord. Found discipline in an an- noyance-An interesting soliloquy-Madame de Genlis's library-His politics in the market Ilis graduated wigs. 387. Lyon, General. Insult and apology, 387. militar M Macaulay, Thomas B. His curious penal code for India. 388. Dislike for metaphysics Playfulness in a restaurant-Collecting bal. lads-Fancy waistcoats, ill-fitting gloves and plenty of razors-Fond of horn-blowing- Said his happiness was due to his virtues- Tears because his memory played him false Knew "Paradise Lost" by heart-An eve- ning's conversation, 389. No ear for music -Sydney Smith's famous witticism-A com- pliment to royalty-The attraction at St. Peter's-In an election mob. 390. Disraeli's estimate of, 20. Curious mistake as to Penn, 514. Macdonald, Marshal. Poking fun at the Irish, 390. MacMahon, Marshal. "Here I am: here I re. main" -Unmoved at death, 390. Heart-broken at defeat-His entry at Milan-Severe dis- ciplinarian-Two amusing blunders, 391. Maintenon, Madame de. Another story instead of roast-Courage and vanity-Longing for her native mud. 391. Mansfield. Lord. Decide. but give no reasons, 391. A question of stimulants and early ris- ing-A pun from the bench, 392. Margaret, Queen. Husbands provided by law, 392. Marie Antoinette. Her arrival on French soil -Re-dressed in French habiliments-To for- get her home. 392. Fantastic nomenclature of dressmakers-Putting on the queen's chemise--Horses forbidden, took to asses-- Etiquette between queen and donkey-Played truant to a masquerade, 393. Gambling all night-High play-An apocryphal anecdote, 394. A young noble forbidden to gamble Charity at the gambling-table--Pleading and tra terenie of the Index 678 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Moll Pitcher. A myth, 412. Moltke, General. Disappointing literary work-- Uses of the contents and the bottle, 412. An order be forgot be had not-Apredicament due to forgetfulness-A prophecy that failed - Resenting misrepresentation-As a gardener, 413. Punctuality --Dislike of beer--Disliked loss at cards-His one solitary joke-Using somebody's else wit-Embarrassment at a serenade-His relations with King William, 414. Planned war long ahead, 415. De- liberateness in choosing a cigar indicative of how battle was going, 55. Tables turned on Napoleon III, Opinion of the American con- flict--Dislike of civilian clothes, 415. Theory of metem psychosis, 66. Life only a punish- ment, 415. Monk, General. Ignorance of nautical matters, 415. Intercepting a letter intended for hiin. self, 416. Montez. Lola. Louis of Bavaria's devotion. 368. More, Sir Thomas. A philosophical wooer-Proxy at courting with the usual result--Meeting Erasmus-Ruse to escape from a madman, 416. A practical joke to teach a lesson to a judge-The longest day--His reply to Henry VIII.--A translated pun--Joking at his exe- cution, 417. Moreau, General. Napoleon's compliment to, 441. Pardoned by his judges instead of by Napoleon, 459. Morris, Gouverneur. Rebuke for inattention Joking at the loss of his leg. 417. Tried to be familiar with Washington, 626. Morris, Robert. Short of money, 331. Motley, John Lothrop. Why not re-appointed minister, 267. Mouton, General. No use for money if he had to spend it, 418. Murat, Marshal. Regardless of danger-A bor- ror of killing-Faith in his soldiers--Un- pleasant recollections, 418. Despair at Mos- cow. 454. His gaudy attire-Inordinate self- conceit-Vanity at death, 419. Murat, Princess. Difficulty of identification, 419. applied to boiling ham: vit successful--Sympathy for a poor woman, 395. Abolished a severe rule of etiquette, 396. Suppression of libels against her, 31. Interview with Lafayette, 329. Maria Henrietta, Kindnost to an incompetent musician, 396. Marie Louise, of France. Not well dressed, 898. Income as empress, 466. Life with Napoleon, 467. An amusing anecdote denied by Na- poleon, 396. Deprived of all her jewelry Even her linen and silver. 397. Marie Louise, of Spain. No gloves permitted, 397. Women's feet never visible.Etiquette and superstition-Revenge and an apt excuse, 398. Marie di Medici. Disappointment and consola- tion at her birth-Lotteries and high play, 398. Solemnity at meals--Etiquette at ris. ing and receptions, 399. Kissed only her hus- band, 324. The rod plentifully applied to the future king. 399. Heartlessness to a friend, 400. Quarrels with Henry IV., 279. Marion, General. His frugal fare, 400. Marshall, John. A superior athlete; his nick- name of "Silver Heels"'- Wrong saddle-bags for him and Washington, 400. Quick at legal decisions-The use of never-winking eyes- Did his own marketing-Never without a big umbrella-A negro's poor opinion of him An enthusiastic quoit-player, 401, Legal max- ims applied to quoits--Virginia and Mary- land ways of boiling ham, 402. The ad- visability of taking a drink When the law proved his superior-Presumed to know some- thing. 403. Marshall. Thomas F. Almost became a clergy- man-The famous contempt of court anecdote In a predicament as a lecturer, 403. Sick just for fun-Tries his hand at pbrenology Courting a duel, 404. Amusing incident when he mistook Corwin for a negro, 154. Mary, Queen. English against Spanish eti- quette, 404. Mary Stuart. Her harangue in Latin--The color of her hair, 405. Her presents to Eliza- beth. 180. Her goods stolen by Elizabeth, 181. Mussépa, Marsbal. Of Hebrew descent-In- different to danger-Luck at the gambling- table. 405. His unlawful gains seized by Na- poleon-Too parsimonious to consult a phy- sician----Niggardly to servants, 406. Accom- panied in the Spanish campaign by his mis- tress, 407. Maule. Judge. Specimens of his wit, 407. Maximilian, Ferdinand Joseph. His mother's warning-Wanted pleasant weather to die in, 408. Maximilian, Joseph. A collector of clothes and cash, 408. Maynard, Lord. Reply to a rude taunt--An anecdote of his penuriousness-Outlived many lawyers and almost the law itself, 408. Mazarin, Cardinal. His athletics--Diamonds in- tended, compliments given, 408. Indifferent to an insult- His elaborate wardrobe-Bit- ter prospect of death, 409. Mazzini. Giuseppe. Disgraced, but saved- Loved the syringa and the moon. 409. Melbourne. Lord. Wanted unanimity, no mat- ter which way, 409. Sufficiently damned Reason for declining the Garter. 410. Metternich, Chancellor. First health to the King of Rome-"Italy is only a geographical term"'-A hoax at his expense--Censoring newspapers-Inordinate self-conceit, 410. Na- poleon's compliment, 441. When he thought Napoleon the greatest, 433. Mirabeau. Gabriel Honoré Riqueti. Pugilistic and ugly as a babe-Despised by his father - His head back on his shoulders-Brutal winning of a wife-Derision of the assembly A beating as a mark of devotion, 411. The postilion's Mirabeau, 412. Failure to secure a loan from Beaumarchais, 31. Bewailing his immorality His answers to challenges to duel Opinion of Robespierre-Derision for abuse Sarcasm as to Lafayette-The necessity of honestr-Music and perfume at death, 412. Bismarck's opinion of, 64. When the Napoleon 1., 420. Youth : Rousseau foretells the fame of Corsica- His mother's labor-pains began in church Early antipathy to holy water-The lad's gal- lantry, 421. Frequently beaten, but never cried or excused himself-He was the head of the family : beats bis brother, 422. Days at School. Punishment brought on nausea and hysteria-Early venture in litera. ture, subsequently destroyed-Censured for writing disrespectfully of royalty ; recalled the incident later--A champion of Nero-Untruth- ful and mischievous, 422. Characteristics and Habits : Made himself hatedA slovenly writer- Dictated rapidly-Wanted to do all himself: a hard worker-Control of his sleepWanted bad news at once; sought information from foreign newspapers-Destroyed the night's work in the morning, 423. Approved delay in sending off his despatches. 424. Treatment of Women. Brusque at times Unpleasant jokes-Rudeness revealed his iden. tity at masked balls---Telling women of their faults but objected to others doing so, 424. Rebuking Madame Soult-Interfering with general Montholon's matrimonial affairs-Tart reply of Madame de Chevreuse-Brusque ad- vice to the Countess de Boigne-A woman not good enough a Christian to ask favors-Rea. son for banishing Madame de Staël-Was told of his own love-affair, 425.Spurns Madame Walewska-Thought family portraits in his bath-room indecent-Distributing the dia. monds from a present-Politeness in an hour of stress-Ludicrous mistake of a deaf woman. 426. Art. Literature and the Drama. Would not sit for a painter-Objected to taking the place of Mars in statuary--Wanted no mural deco- rations-Canova's statue of the Pacificator 679 Index OF THE GREAT Source of his knowledge of law, 427. Burn- ing improper and other books Source of his literary information-A political satire--High opinion of St. Pierre ; wanted books con- densed--Poor opinion of literary and scientific men-Poor opinion of Shakespeare and Mil- ton. 428. A foe to the liberty of the press- Demanded to know hostile criticisin of him- self-His traveling library-Ordered morocco bindings destroyed--His library at Elba, 429. Suppressed theaters-offended at reference to bimiself on the stage-Brunet's punishment and evasion--High opinion of Corneille and of tragedy, 430. The Smallness of a Great Man. Meanness to Lannes-Insult from Lannes after a gune of billiards-Constant resents a scurvy trick, 431. Taking back his gifts-Watcb intended for Joseph Bonaparte-The predicament of Siérès-His vandalism at Potsdam-Kept his ministers and generals at variance-His re- venge on Moreau, 432. Vanity and Pride, High praise for himself. 432. Pride--Seeking praise for himself-The parvenu-Pride and falsification of dates- Etiquette with the pope With Alexander I. --Banished crowns from escutcheons--En- joyed adulation--Failure to instruct a pea- sant in plowing, 431. An Impatient Gamester. Dishonest at cards -l'nskilful--Intolerant of defeat, 43). His Softer Side. "I am not made for pleasure"--His rise made no change in his places of trading -Respect for the tomb of Charlemagne, 43). At the tomb of Rousseau - Affected by the sound of bells-Liberality to a poor woman, 436. Kindness to a sheik - Connived at appropriating public moneys Rejected evidences of his illustrious an- cestry, 437. Captivated by Queen Louise Fond of his childA good dinner as a reward --Ilis idea of a truly happy man-Practical joking-His opinion of Washington-Char- acter of his writings--A violet made his em- blem, 438. Planted trees at Elba, 439. With Other Bonapartes. Rough treatment of his nephews- Compels Louis to marry Ilor- tense Beauharnais. 439. Resentment at his present being parted with Resentment at the marriage of Lucien, 440. Amused at Jerome's trick--Gives Jerome the Sword he wore at Marengo, 71. Objected to the saving habits of his mother, 72. Furious at an insult from Lucien. 74. Pauline's a ffection for him- Pauline objects to bim in an Austrian uni- form, 76. Quick Actions and Replies. Clever prevari- cation a standard of excellence ; compliment to Metternicb-Louis XVI. no tyrant-"From the sublime to the ridiculous is only a step" -Paine's version of the same thought--Ap- preciation of the drama depends upon the lo- cation of the spectator--Peace a predicament -No sorrow at nephew's death-aneat com- pliment, 411. Dismissing a bore--Sarcasm when commiserated-an excuse for not danc- ing well-Never learned to dance-Talleyrand dishonest, but prompt-Sarcasm as to Ber- thier-Iliding the bust of the Czar-Making use of Fouché's famous expression--The dis- honest upholsterer, 442. Talleyrand's loan to Napoleon and its result-Prompt action in a love-affair_Coolness after danger-Objected to canonizing a BonaparteSt. Napoleon- "Give good dinners and take care of the women" Unpleasant abbreviation of a toast, 443. The depth of his degradation, 444, Religion. Demanded brevity in religious services - Business during prayer-Actresses in the choir- Worship for himself suggested, 414. Superstition. Seeing a star invisible to others-Josephine laid claim to the star. 444. Superstition at breaking wife's portrait. 316. Pleased at prophecies of new triumphs- Breaking a glass a bad omen-Antipathy to thirteen and Friday-Superstitious as to an old overcoat and hat-Told ghost stories Practised palmistry --The story of "The Lit- tle Red Man," 445. Dre88. Wanted his clothes roomy-Econ- omy in dress---His usual attire-Wore soiled clothes--Took great care of his hands; very fond of Cologne water, 446. Tobacco.Wasted more snuff than he used. 446. Disastrous attempt to smoke, 447. Military Anecdotes : Accident turned defeat into victory. 447. Disease caught from a gunner--Supposed cause of the Italian expedition --A gambling- table supplied money for expenses—A bare possibility sufficient "Impossible," a word not in the French language--Piqued into re- fusing to sign a treaty--His plan to wear out Wellington-an attack to please his mistress, and consequent regret, 448. Battle at Marengo without a plan, 91. Junot would take epaulettes from none but Napoleon, 317 -- Attracted by Junot's courage, 317. Junot's defiance. 318. Seizes Masséna's unlawful gains, 406. Unavailing liberality to Mouton, 418. Kindness to Berthier, 37. With his Soldiers. Wellington's estimate of the value of his presence in the field-First address to his army-His endurance-Heroes die by the ba yonet-Lost interest in the navy after Trafalgar-Chary in acknowledging merit--Punishment of a cowardly surgeon. - A subscription to buy him a new hat, 449. Admired Rapp when covered with blood- Wellington the means of securing a pardon for Marmont-Patching out a poor memory- Women a detriment to the army-His sug- gestion to kill instead of abandoning some wounded soldiers, 450. Sorrow at the death of a disgraced officer-Extending the hand of forgiveness-Joked when a vigilant sentry came near killing him-Pleasant manner of conferring distinction -A hasty action fol- lowed by an apology---His injustice to Keller- mann, 452. Faith in soldierly affection at a critical moment-Soult considered him kind- hearted, 453. The Russian Campaign, Anomalous con. duct in Russia, 453. Enraged at his defeat -- Would not recognize it-An oft-quoted pleasantry, 454 Planning for War. The next war for poli. tics or his own financial interests Trying out maneuvers with bits of wood-Keeping France in ignorance Concealment of his possible wounds or death ordered, 454. Mustification of the battle of Marengo--A publication rela- tive to his system in war-His plans antici- pated. 455. The Hatzfeld Episode. The incident as told by the Duchess d'Abrantès--By Marshal Rapp, 456. By General Ségur-By Napoleon, 437. By Madame de Rémusat, 438. Miscellaneous Anecdotes: Engaged to Desirée Clary, 35. Deficient in polish-A duel arranged because a student practised on the horn--His poor opinion of Frenchmen-Pretending anger-Ignorant of dress as compared to Alexander I. and Fred- erick William III., 458. Explaining what he would do with Austria-Ilis destructive mood--Fond of slapping and pinching-Meals at all hours: kicking over the dinner-table-- Called Englishmen shop-keepers, but meant no offense-A pardon anticipated-Good weather at his command. 459. Odd habit when being shaved-Disliked Americans-A duchess's unpleasant experience in his car- riagerAttempts to conceal his identity at a masked ball-A reckless driver, 460. Shot a dog instead of a stag while hunting -Ludi- crous scene when rabbits were too tame and numerous, 461. Deceived by Cambacérès's message, 99, Tampered with the mail Gretry's reply causes future recognition. 462. Approved of Talleyrand's discretion in delays -Compels Tallerrand to marry, 598. Cool re- ply of Foucbé, 199. The return from Elba as told in headlines—A sudden change from "Great" to the "Tyrant," 462. The Husband: Josephine. First meeting, 462. Asks her assistance to procure cloth for a new coat, 681 Index OF THE GREAT quarrel with reporters-The sacredness of faith—His piety,“ 500. Declines to fight a duel, 11. Orleans, Ferdinand, Duke of. Why Dumas mar- ried, 500. Orleans, Philip, Duke of. Feminine fastidious- ness, 500. Clerical jurisdiction-A prophet of his son's future_Definition of a perfect courtier-A scoundrel, but a good ambassador, 501. Kicking Cardinal Dubois, 169. Osborne, Bernal. At an Irish election-A brutally frank answer, 501. Disraeli's playful remark to, 27. or shot-Aphorismorked at a high riding Paine, Thomas. His escape from the guillotine- Not America, but the cause-Excessive vanity, 502. Sends keys of Bastille to Washington, 17. “From the sublime to the ridiculous, etc., 441. Palmerston, Lord. Risking royal lives, 502. Valued Gordon's paintings-Worked at a high desk-A poor shot--Aphorism on horseback- riding-His weighty umbrella-Tact with sub- ordinates, 503. Tact in refusing applicants for favors-Ignorant of geography-To keep an appointment at an early hour-An abstruse question, 504. Cobden resenting his friend- ship-Cobden's gruff reply. 148. Offered the Greek throne to Louis Napoleon, 479. Parnell, Charles S. Learning parliamentary law -Ignorant of history, but quick of perception -No appreciation of humor-One book he read-His taciturnity_His nickname of "Butthead"-Sensitive to bad spelling-Ob- jected to crowds and being stared at, 505. A horror of speaking loudly-Reason for nam- ing a horse "Tory"—His early love-romance, 506. His Superstitions. About October and three candles burning, 506. Mistaken identity -The color green—The number thirteen, 507. Paul, Czar. Nobility began and ended as he liked-Repulsive funeral services, 508. Tried to resemble Napoleon-Considered challenging him to a duel-Hilarity at table-The mysteri- ous Mr. Kij-Strict military discipline- Severity of ancient etiquette restored- "Shops," not "Magazines," for common people "Snub-nosed" never to be uttered-Severe etiquette for women, 509. Noise required in kneeling and kissing-A horse publicly whipped --An obnoxious dinner-bell--Sentenced to wear spectacles-An unfortunate coachman-- Some eccentric edicts, 510. Changes in mili- tary uniforms, 511. And discipline, 512. Treatment of Suwarrow, 590. Peel, Sir Robert. Befriended by Byron at Har- row, 94. Hands and feet a source of embar- rassment-"Bobbies," "Peelers," "Orange Peel" - Fear of “peelers" being unpopular-Trying to conceal his curiosity-Experience with a three-card sharper, 512 Tennyson's laureate- ship-Specimens of his wit--No unkind words for persecutors-Never destroyed a letter or paper, 513. Resigned on account of Victoria's women attendants, 620. Penn, William. Expelled from college for hatred of ceremonies, 513. Discomfited by Charles II., 120. Surprised Quakers with pipes, 513. Objected to fighting when danger was over- Macaulay's mistake, 514. Peter I.. 515. The Ruler at Home: His idea of Statesmanship. Struggling against official dishonesty. 515. Personally adininistered punishments, on one occasion ahead of time--The penalty of being made a clown-Brandy as a punishment: ecclesiastics egged on to fight-His sympathy for Jews kept them out of Russia---Grateful for a witticism. 516. Yielded to Catherine I.'s wit--Cheated out of his cheese-High bribe for Marlbor- ough-Testing soldierly obedience, 517. Reply when asked for a constitution, 108. Sumptuary Legislation. Tax on beards and petticoats, 517. Dancing and kissing. 518. Objected to servile prostrations, 509. Acquiring Knoroledge. Laboring in iron works-Shipbuilding ard pleasure, 518. Ship carpenters ennobled-Engineering, tooth-draw- ing, etc.--A practical joke, 519. Punishment for indolence, 520. His Conception of Conviviality. Grotesque wedding celebrations, 520, 522. A drunken orgy. 521. Brandy killed the bridegroom- Dinner table chef d'ouvre-An alarm of fire for fun-A mock uniform, 522. Just a Mere Brute. His servant's abdomen for a pillow, 522. Blows and wounds when en- raged-Compulsory eating of disgusting viands - Enjoyed pulling teeth-Disgusting dishes Treatment to reduce obesity, 523. The Ruler on his Travels : Making a Start. Pretense of incognito, 524. In Holland. The royal workman, 524. At divine service---Dodging solemnity; sleeping at an inn, 525. In Germany. Reception at the German court-A servant's life offered to satisfy cruel curiosity-Scaring the inhabitants-A salute not loud enough--Whipping for a broken plate, 526. In England. Secretly seeing sights. 526. Despoiling his quarters-Old beef and stale water--Little use for lawyers-Receiving am- bassadors at the topmast, 527. In France. A Pantagrulian thirst-Obiec- tions to the Louvre-Looked like a savage Sarcastic reply to the Sorbonnites, 528. Peter III. Hatred of Latin-Childish amuse ments-Passion for dogs, 528. Mortal hatred of baths-The execution of a rat-Ceremony of removing a stigma, 529. Tortured in child- hood, 530. Sporting life with his bride, 106. Peterborough, Lord. A loyal canary, 530. Philip III. Etiquette and death, 530. Philip IV. The arrogance of the race-Curious regulations of the drama, 530. Ruffs and starch probibited, 531. Philip V. Curious state of the drama and eti- quette, 614. Pierce, 'Franklin. Conjugal devotion-Whnted the comfort of the country-Determination to conquer, 531. Pinkney, William. His "extemporaneous" re- ply-Induced to resume classical studies His daily bath-Three hours to dress, 531. Pitt. William. High opinion of himself- Never answered letters--His superiority over Gibbon-Derision of Erskine-Pithy re- sponse to a toast; Erskine in awe of him, 532. Critical judgment of women and dress When dignity was laid aside, 533. Sing- ing “Billy Pitt. the Tory"-Tears followed by laughter-Ignorance of firearms--Nervousness at a wedding ceremony--Let slip an election secret-Two bottles of wine with dinner-An occasion when he had too much, 534. Did not die of drink, 3. Honors to an old hat- An unpleasant approval of opinion. 534. Sar- castic limitation of military duties-Declined a substantial present, 535. Burke's reply as to the constitution of England, 87. The ques- tion of his last words, 535, Pius IX. His liberal opinions--Wanted no more than he asked for--llis cap as a veto-A curious predicament, 536. Playfair, Lord. Testing the courage of Edward VII. 170. Looking for a typical American -His self-confidence reduced. 536. Plunket. Lord. Specimens of his wit-One of his amusing anecdotes, 537. Polk, General. A baptism that never "tuck"- An argument in the dark--Narrow escape from capture, 538. Profanity by proxy-His fervent prayer, 539. Pompadour, Madame. Causes the rise and downfall of Berpis. 37. Prince of Wales. Origin of the title, 539. Putnam, General. Plucky adventure as a boy The famous wolf den story, 539. Laughed at preparations for his death-His idea of dueling. 540. Comment on poor marksman- ship--Pithy reply to Tryon, 541. A story of Indian wit, 1. Indar 682 WIT, WISDOM AND FOIBLES Queensberry, Lord. Racing against time Gambling on death, 541. His opinion of deco- rations- The pension of his physician-Kept a chaplain-His daily milk batb, 542. Raleigh, Sir Walter. Georgeous attire-A ques- tion of piracy-Courtly reply to Elizabeth- The cloak incident, 542. Weighing tobacco- smoke, 180, 543. A servant's alarm--Made smoking the fashion at court--Destroyed the second and third volumes of his history --His execution a subject for a witticism, 543. Randolph, John, of Roanoke. His lordly de- meanor, 543. Concern for vegetation. 544. Hatred for the North and for Henry Clay- Memory for dates-Cause of leaving Russia, 545. Anger at errors in pronunciation--Duel with Henry Clay-A protest instead of a challenge.--His descent from Pocahontas, 540. Tart reply to the Speaker in Congress-Seven principles of the Democratic party-Incivil- ity to an acquaintance-His arrogance re- buked-Opinion of his own argument --- Brusque replies-- Description of Delaware- Scene at his death-bed. 547. Rapp, Marshal. Attempt to save Prince Hatz- feld, 456. Complimented by Louis XVIII. for sorrow at the death of Napoleon, 383. Reed, Thomas B. Specimens of his wit, 549 Rhodes, Cecil. Cold mutton sent him to Africa -A lesson in working for posterity--An ac- tive pulseSensitive to women's pleas. 549. Made light of a libelImpatient with tailors -Curious habit with cigarettes--Bank ac- count generally overdrawn-Carried no money with him- Capital necessary for success-A large gift to Parnell-Philanthropy plus five per cent.-Details an obstacle to advancement, 550. Advice from the Scriptures--A grim pleasantry, 551. Richard III. Not a hunchback, 551. Richelieu, Cardinal. Apocryphal anecdotes Relief in alchemy and sorcery, 551. Ath- letics as an amusement--His aspirations as a dramatist, 552, Origin of the French academy-Blaise and Jacqueline Pascal-In. troduced a change in dress-In love with Anne of Austria--Dodged a question of eti- quette. 553. Specimens of his huinor-Pre- paring for death-Ilis last words---The au- topsy, 554. Richelieu, Duke. Lovely eren from the back- A royal insult turned into a jest-Deafness made subservient, 554. Roberts, Field-Marshal. Obliging to a subor- dinate--Kind offer to Cronje, 555, Robespierre, Francois. Resigned as judge be. cause he sentenced a murderer to death-De- fense of lightning-rods. 5.55. A life lost due to late rising, 556. How his death was announced to Josephine, 341. His ashes rest beneath Louis XVI'S monument, 382. Mira- beau's opinion of, 412. Rochefort, Henri. Childish toying preceding bitter attacks--Examination in court-Death- penalty for neglectful parents only--Brought up to the care of children. 557. Rosse, Lord. A death-bed practical joke, 557. Roundheads." Origin of term, 276. Russell. Lord Charles. Insisted on his client removing himself-A too magnificent coat- dress in a suit for damages, 558. Fists ready. when necessary-Trouble with a fellow passenger-Wit turned wrath away-A blunder, but nobody laughedA chapter of annoyances, 559. A witness's ready reply, 560. Russell, Lord John. Sydney Smith's characteriza- tion-Courtship, 560. Akward result of a lack of memory for faces-Offense aggra- vated by explanation-Dislike of Disraeli-A poor shot-His anecdote about Lords Stowell and Eldon--His last years, 561. St. Leonards. Lord. His father tried to make & barber of him-Retained on both sides- Amusement at his visit to a lunatic asylum, 562. Sandwich, Lord. Inventor of the sandwich, 78. Burke's opinion of, 87. Saxe, Marshal, Theaters in camp-Encounter with a scavenger, 562. Scott, General. The severity of his discipline. 562. Expert in the kitchen-Ilis criticism of a sword-Martin Burke's obedience to or- ders-Predicting trouble after the war-His last words, 563. Seward, William H. Amusing experience at a convention, 503. The boy and the sitting hen --Depunciation answered by calm Sarcasm--- The laugh was on Seward. 564. A prophecy and a reprimand-Importance of dinner- Change from Dana to Archbishop Hughes Squelching inquisitiveness, 565. Shaftesbury. Lord. The religion of men or sense-Retort to Charles II.-Bestowing his blessing. 505. Sheridan. General. Where strong language was necessary, 565. Fortifying renonstrance with his fist-A Confederate soldier's sarcasm- The temptation of a field of grain, 566. Fond. ness for Bismarck, 57. Ilis portion of five eggs with Bismarck, 50. Grant's praise for acting without orders, 265. Sheridan, R. B. Spread a calumny he intended to answer. 566. Impromptu addition to "God Save the King-Kept neither receipt nor key -A frank announcement-Polishing his wit- ticisms--Specimens of his wit and humor, 567. Comedy duel with Fox and George IV., 213. Royal assistance at trickery. 246. Letters neglected, 571. Borrowed books for show, 572. Sherman, John. Lincoln's characterization of, 363. Lack of humor. 572. Sherman, General. Reason for not practising law. 572. Good-bye to the South, 573. ('se of tobacco, 203, 573. Pathos on the battle- fieldCalmness at being misjudged-More solicitous for others than for himself-Plain English on the battle-field, 573. Crackers and oats, not tracts-horaginy justified-Art and silver safe; Medeira confiscated--Sympathy turned to fun--The inconvenience of wanting a drink, 571. Why the Indian wanted can- non- sarcastic retraction--Opinion wanted. not reason, 570. Grant's criticism of his portrait. 207. Lincoln's characterization of 303. Denounced an appointment he had recommended, 300. When General Thomas had him scared, 610. "Marching Through Georgia" in Dublin, 575. Sieyès, Abbé. Outwitted by Napoleon, 432. A division of public funds, 437. Napoleon's quiet retort. 411. His task during the Reign of Terror-Origin of the National Guard. 575. Skoboleff, General. Severe test for a sentinel Reason for exposure to danger-Honesty not material. 576. Soult, Marshal. Comparing his risk to that of his soldiers-llis method as an art collector, 576. Sarcasm and a long memory, 577. Na- poleon's rebuke to Madaine Soult, 425. Na. poleon told him "impossible" was not French, Stanton, Edwin M. The boy liked snakes for tovy-Syınpathy and energy A division of plunder-- thousand dollar bait. 577. Did his own marketing-Taking big chances for the C'nion- specimen of his energy-Youth as a handicap-Disregard for law, 578. First meeting with Lincoln, 345, Lincoln ridiculed warnings against him-Called Lincoln a damned fool-Refusing Lincoln's requests Trouble with Postinaster-General Blair, 356. Always ready to fight-Compelled to dance with Lincoln-- Vhen he was right and Lincoln wrong, 357. Disgusted with Lincoln's liking for Artemus Ward-And for Nasby 358. Held on to oflice by force, 579. | Stephens, Alexander H. Early struggles with 1001- Refusihim-Callencoln ridicunst This book should be returned to the Library on or before the last date stamped below. A fine of five cents a day is incurred by retaining it beyond the specified time. Please return promptly. DUE NOV - 5:48 DUE JAN - 349 301H55 ROOK DVE - WIDA H 1029.18.5 Wit, wisdom and foibles of the 006607703 grea Widener Library 3 2044 088 048 046