Counter-Scuffle. ; (c * I' Written by R. S. in H 'to* Whercunto is added The IRISH ENTERTAINMENT. Written by W.& G- Dublin; Printed by Robert Tbornton% Sta¬ tioner to Their Majefties ; and are to hh *" by the BacHellers* 1693; ^ And this brave GoUfmith was the man Who fir ft this worthy Brawl began, Which after ended in a can of mild Beer tk Cif But had you fcen him when he fought, How eagerly for blood he fought, There's no man but would have him thought a wild Bear* Imagine now you lee a fcore Of mad-cap Gentlemen, or more, Boys that did ufe to rant and rore, and fwagger. Among the which were three or four That rui'd themlelvesby wifdomslore, Whole very Grandlires fcarcely wore a dagger, A Prttfi and l.uwjtr, men will read, In wiping fpoons and chipping bread, And falling too, fhort Grace being led, full roundly; Whole hungry maws no Sallets need, Good appetites therin to breed, Their ftomacks without fauce could feed profoundly. >Twas ill that men of fober diet, Who lov'd to fill their guts in quiet, Were placc'd with Ruffins that to riot Were given. And 25 The Connrtr-ScttfjU. Eels boy I'd and broyl'd ; and next they bring Herring^ that is the Fifhes King, And then a Courtly Foul of Ling and MufhtrA. But (lay, I had almoft forgot The flefh which (fill (lands piping hot, Some from the (pit, (onae from the pot new taken. fhoulder and a leg of As good as ever knite was put on, ,Which never was by a trpe Glutton forfaken. A Loyn of Veal that would have dar d One of the ftoqteft of the Guard -dud they fometimes will feed full hard, like tall men. And fuch as love the iufty Chine; But when that 1 (hall fup or dine, God grant they be no Gutfts of mine of all men. Thus the defcriptions arecompleat, Which I have made of them and meat ? Mars aid mc now while I repeat the battle. Where pots and (fools were us'd as gins To break each others heads and (hins, Where blows did make bones in their skins *' to rattle. Where 10 j rje t oumer-jcHjjie. But hafte fead aimoft made hirn choke, Or eile (perhaps) he would have fpcke In praife of his long thread-bare cloke and breeding. But aftera delib'rate psti'e. The Lzwyer fpcke. aste h ed caule, In commendation of t he profcffion. The J,■■ ■■'(quoth he) by a jafl doom Doth cenfure ad that to it come, aid ftill.defends the innocent from oppreilion. It favours truth, it curbs the hope OF Vice 5 it gives allegiance fcope, Provides a gallows and a rope for treafon. rhis doth the Law,and this is it Which makes us here in Prifon fit, IVhich grounded is on holy writ and reafon. 'o which all men muft fubjeO: be, is we by daily proof do fee. 3rota htgheft to the low'ft degree; " the Scholar, -Joble and rich it doth fubduej The Souldier and his lwaggiring crew: •Ut at that word the Captain grew in choiar. I He He look'd full gum. k ft Rapt out an Oath that fboo't Jxtar And ftrack his fift that the fouhfd rcat'd it ie thunder. It made aH skip that ftnod him neat-, The frighted Cuflurd tjiak'h for icar, And thofe that heard it, ftricken Were with wonder. Naught did he now but frown and puff, And having ftar'd. andfwore enough, Thus he began in language rough, tho cogging. Bafe foyfting L**jtr, that doft fet Thy mirid on nothing, but to get Thy living by thy damned pet¬ tifogging. A Slave, that fhall for half a Cro"n, With Buckram Bag, and dagled Gown, Waitiike a Dog about the Town, " and follow A bufinels on the Devi'Is part, For Fees, tho not with Law nor Art, But head as empty as thy heart is hollow. You ftay at home and pocket Fees, While we abroad our bloods do leefe, At)d then with fuch bafe terms as thefe you wrong us; mm v BUt But Lawyer, it is fafgr far ,For thee to prattle at a Bar, Than once to fhew thy face i* tffwar among us> Where to defend fuch thanklefs Hinds, The Soldier little quiet finds, But is expos'd to ftormy winds and weathers. j4ad oft in blood lie wades full deep, your throats from forreign fwords to keep, And wakes when you fccurely fleep in feathers, i What could your Laws and Statutes do ijfgainft invafionsof a foe, {Did not the valiant Soldier go to quell 'em. iAnd to prevent your further harms, {With Enfign, Fife, and loud alarms, |Ot warlike Drums, by force of .drms repell'em. Your Trefpafs.jl&ton will not ftand For fetting foot upon your Land, yVhen they in fcorn of your command come hither* No remedy in Court of In Commorn PUtSy or in their ;Eoi jouling of your jobbernouls together. The Counter.Scuff13 VVer't not for us, thou (quoth he J VVhere wouldft thou fog to get a fee? But to defend fuch things as thee 'tis pity. For fuch as thou efteem us leaft, Who ever have been ready preft To guard you aad your Cuckoes iieft, the City. That rety word made Ellis ftart, Aad all his blood ran to his heart; He fhook,and quak'din every part with anger. He lookt as if nought might affwage The heat of his enflamed rage; His very countenance did prefage fome danger A Cuckots neft.' quoth he and fo He humm'd and held his full low, As if diftra&ed thoughts did o- verprefs him At lenght,qaoth he,my Mother fed, At Eriftow fhe was broughr.a-bed, Aad there was Ellis born and bred, (God blefs him, Of London City I am free, -<#nd there I firft my wife did fee, And for that very caufe, quoth he, 16 The CoHnter-fctfjjig. And he (good man) did none difcafej But fitting quiet, and at his eale, With butter'd Roches thought to pleafe his palar. But when he felt the wrong he had, He rag'd and fwore, and grew ftark mad ; Some in the room been better had without him; For he took hold of any thing ; And firft he caught the Pout of Ling, Which he ctfuragioufly did fling about him. Out of his hand it flew apace, And hit the Lawyer in the face, Who at the board in higheft place ' was feated. And as the Lawyer thought to rife, The fait was thrown into his eyes, Which him of fight in woful wife ' defeated. All things near hand, Nick B threw, At length his butter'd flew, And hit by chance among the crew, v v the Patient The fauce his Coat did all bewet, The Pritfi began to fume and fret, The Seat was butter'd which he fee his cn * On the D U K trs going to G E R M J N Tin a private Capacity, 1712. GO Mighty Prince, and thofe Great Nations fee, Which thy Vi&onous Arms-before made free, Vkw that fam'd Column where thy Names Ingrav'd Shall tell then Child en who their Empire i&i'd, Point out that Marble where thy Worth is lhown To every Country Grateful, but thy own, Oh ! Cenfure underferv'd, unequal Fate, Which ilrove to lefEn him,, who made her Gdeat. When Pamper'd witfi Sucpels, and Rich in\Fame ExtoEd MsCgnquefts, butConderrrnM bisName, But Vertue is a Crime, when Plac'd on High ■ Tho' all the Faults in-the Beholders Eyei Yet he untouched, as in th$ Heat of Warrt| Flies from no Dangers, but Inteftine Jarrs, He Grieyes tbat-we Contemn for what he Fought, Blufhing to lee our Blood no better Boiight. Difdaiad in 'Factious Parties to Contend, And ptoWSr m.Abfente moft Britani^s Friend. So the Great SCIPIO, of Old to ftiun, The GloridttiBn^y vvhmh his Arms had Won. Far from his Bear, ungrateful Rome Retir'd, p Prepared when e're his Country's Caufe Requir'd, > To fhine" in Peace or War,: and be again Aclmir'dl 3 P i N 1 s. The Courtier- 8c ujjle. 17 He knew not what to do pr iay, It was in vain to Preach or Vray, Or cry, You are all gone a ft ray good people 2 He might as well go drive to teach Divinuy beyond his teach ; Or when the Bells ring outsgo preach i'th' Steeple At this mifchance the (illy man Out of the Room would fain have ran, And very angerly began to mutter, HI luck had he, foraftertbat One threw the Parfnips full of fat; Which duck like Broaches on his Hat with butter; .t « < - v. s, Out of the place hefoon repairs, And ran half headlong down the flairs, ^nd made complaint to Mr. Aires with crying* Up ran he to know the matter, And found how they the things did fcatter, Here a Trencher, there a Platter ,rr T were lying. I dare not fay he flunk for wo, Nor will, unteis I did it know, BiufonteUi^rebethat dare fay fo, that fmelt him 3 £ Nor1 The Counter fctiffle. Ip The bread ftuck in the windows ally Like bullets in a Caftle-w^lj, Which furious foes did feek to fcale in battel, Shoulders of Mutton, and Ioyns of veal appointed tor to ferve the meal, ^bout their ears full many a peal didratte!, The which, when Owen El any fpy'd, Oh, take away their arms, he cry'd, Left fome great hurt do them betide, One of tke Under keepers prevent it And then away the Knave did fteal Of food that fell, no little deal, -^fnd in his houfe at many a meal he fpent it. The Captain ran the reft among, ds eager to revenge the wrong Done by the pot which EBis flung fo ftoutly, gl)[,D it | i th'4 ft Toe Counter Jcujfl But feap't not now fo well away hs at the Peal and Mutton fray ; He thought to have with fuch a prey his jaws fed: But all his hope did turn afide, Helooktfor that which luck deny'd. For Elits all be-Pippin-py d his Calves-head. Wo was the cafe that he was in, The hot apples did fo fcald his skin; His skul as it had rotten been did qusddle. With that one fool among the rout Made out-cry all the houte about, That Blaney's Brains were beaten out his noddle. Which Lockmocl hearing, needs would fee What all that coyl and llir might be. And up the flairs his guts and be a tunkty, gat Teilm. went wadiing. But when he came the chamber near, Behind the door he flood to hear ; For in he durft not come for fear „ of.fwadling: There flood he in a frightful cafe j dad as by chance hp ftir'd his face, Putl in the mhhftK'a buttered F/rff did hit him. 31 3] B i ;way I ie I .aj, :quJdlJ litw it ts :Si 1 my sow iv | en, ■' !ctafit, w/A otitic Shi 7 he Counter-fcuffl 23 She turn'd his hole beneath the knee, Nor could fhe cboofe but laugh to lee That yellow, which was wont to be a white breech. She took the difli-clout off the Ihelf, Jad with it wip'd the fii-—— eif, Which had not wit to help it Celf, poor — breech. Thus leaving Lockwood all bewraid Unto the mercy of the maid, Who well defelerved to be paid for taking Such homely pains: now let us cafl Our thoughts back oa the ftir that's paft, And them whole bones could a®t in hafte leave aking y/nd, like the candles, [ball my Pen Shew you thefe Gallants once agen, Which now like Furies, not like men appeared. Frelh lights being brought t'appcafe the braH, •Shew twenty mad men in the Hall, With blood and laucc their faces all belmeared Their clothes Were rent, and foue'd in drink Oyl, Muftard, Butter, and the ffink Which Locktvood left, woud make one think in ladnefs, ill Star That 24 Ti)e ■€mnter-!>£tiffle. f hat thefe fb monftfous creatures dwell Either in Br'dLm or in //ell, Or that no tongue or pen can tell their madnefs. They were indeed dkfigur'd fo, Friend knew not friend, nor foe his foe ; - For each man fea-re himfeif did know: • . But affer A frantick flaring round abour, jThey fuddenly did quit their doubt, And loudly all at once brake out in laughter. The heat ©f all now is allaid, The Keepers gently do perfwade 3 And fas before) all friends are made full kindly. EUisthe Captain -doth imbrace, The Captain doth return the grace, And fo do all men in the place as friendly. By Jove, I love thee, Elli ry'd ; The Captain fosn as nauch reply'd : Thou art, quoth he, a man well try'd, and VulcAts. With M*trs at odds again fhall be Ere any jars 'twixt me and thee 3 And thereupon I drink to thee _ ?. full Can. And -it madi \ efesfoe;1 I bow; inn I ullM ftmc |v T VeCounter-^ Scuffle. 3$ And then he kneel'd upon the ground: Drink't off (quoth Ellis) for this round For ever {hall be held renown'd, and never, May any quarrel 'twixt us twain Arife, or this renew again, But may we loving friends remain for ever. Amen, cry'd the Captain, and fo did afl^ Jnd fothe Health went round the Hal;; ; iAnd thus the famous Counter-Braid was ended. But hunger now did vex them more Then all their anger did before ; They feach'd i- th' Room how far their h®re extended. They want the Meat which ftole % One find a Herring in a hole, With durt and duft black as a cole, and trodden All under foot. The next in poft, Snaps up and feeds on what was loft, And looks not whether it were roft ' or fodden. A third finds in another place A piece of Ling in dirty cafe, And muftard in his fellows face. Another Efpies, Connitr- Scujflt 27 And whertthey thus had drank and fed, As if no quarrel had been bred $ They all fhook hands, and all to bed ttpotJ did Ihuffle. ifome Ellis, the glory of the Town, tam With that brave Captain ofRenown And thus I end this famous Coun- kfrnK V . A Ihe End of the Couter-Scujjle. 1) im' H '• • ' ,vi The • the Iriih Entertainment FRom Carried where the Noble Ormcnd met, > fupremc Councellorsto treat Of 1- ind's Peace ; after 1 let fly A> the -can halbbgyi'd frclh-becf QrdVwr All "ny'own ffiillingsTand the truth to tell Befitf 1)1 1 van | m ' ri«. m * M, ■' Rj joJr, sli'Bdot- W ■ ititctot R °u i ms pimp'l ipbtt, on, Theirrfb r.nitriatnment. And then for certain, he's a man of bounty, For, heark, Ned, he's High Sheriff of the County. Bcfides, he's of the Poor's, and fo muft be By confluence, of'our own Family. They fay that he keeps dogs too, and win course The Hitc mofi fiercely, but the Fox much worfc. And, Frith, Ned thou'rt a lad whom any right Good fellow will bid welcome at firft fight: Thy countenance fo rofic, firaight inveaglcs, y^nd to fay truth, we both arc pretty Beagles. This plcas'd Nifi well, and flrait he got two able Horfesout of my Lord Zieuteneant's Stable. And to confine, 'cwixt dinner time and fupper We march'd with our Portmntues at our crupper. When we came there, wc certain ftrudtures law -rfll perrywigg'd with rulhcs and with firaw. So even and like, that Ned fwore by his Maker Some LeveUorhad been the Fabricator: So that to us 'twas not diflinguifhable Which was the Manfion, which the Barn orStabk Ned.. he alights, and leads (God blefs us all) His horfeintohis Worfhip'svery HaU; And looking round about, cries in great anger This ftablc it hath neither rack nor manger. Peace, Ned, quoth 1, pxethee be not fo hafty; This Room's no Stable, tho it be as hafiy ; 1 fee a Harp and Chimney, and I dare Say there was Fire in't before the War : So this is no place for your horfe you fee, ' Hi for as very beafis, /'m Lure, quoth he. I wifiVd him advis'd what he (pake there. For fhould fuch words come to the Sheriff car, '1'wasgoldto filvcr but he would be at us Ere we were aware, with a Poffe Cofflmctatu's. Out Ned went laughing:; I, as 'tis, my tai^ion, Fell firait iuto a fcriqris.Cbritemplrgion. If the High-Sheriff fiich a mpar^dwenihg''have, Obonst Ohone, what/liaVlni jjtwer KnaVc/ frit ft, m