Thomas At Mile Zero, 17.SCW


-ONE-1

THOMAS AT MILE ZERO

Staging Note:  The action of the play will move
continuously without trying to recreate a realistic
set. I suggest a metaphoric set may best serve, around
which is created an expressionistic suggestion of the
play's scenes. There is also the possibility of a
reflecting pool of water symbolic of the entrance to
the fairy world that Thomas and the Boy Thomas
encounter.  Maybe that's all we need. I've
deliberately been minimal in my stage directions and
non-dialogue descriptions.

PROLOGUE  SCENE: 1

This scene may re-occur at different times throughout
the play.

THE BANSHEE, a woman with long flowing hair is
rhythmically washing a long, white, cloth in a large
metal tub of water with a scrub board. Thomas and
Colleen are under a cloth together. The banshee
removes the cloth from them and takes the cloth to her
washing bucket. In this scene, they are ten years old.
They have an apple balanced between their mouths.

COLLEEN:
Bite it.

THOMAS:
It will fall.

COLLEEN:
I liked your story.

THOMAS:
Thanks. Creation of the world stories are hard to
write.

COLLEEN:
(Enthusiastically)

Yeah, yeah, I totally got that. Quick, before
someone comes.

THOMAS:
Okay here goes.

(He bites the apple and it falls.
They stand there ever so close,
near to kissing and then a younger
Dante calls.)

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-ONE-2

DANTE:
Tommy Domangard! You Hemorrhoid, your turn to
peel the potatoes. The boiling pot waits.

THOMAS:
Colleen, shoot, I--

COLLEEN:
Promise me--

THOMAS:
What?

COLLEEN:
Nothing. Wait! I mean--We'll be friends. Always.

THOMAS:
That's a big decision.

COLLEEN:
(Imploring, serious.)

Promise?

THOMAS:
Yes Colleen. Like the return of the wild apples,
I promise we'll always be friends.

(Colleen exits past the Banshee.)

SCENE: 2

(The lights rise on ten year old Thomas, later known
as the boy, and his father Sean, his mother Maura and
his brother(s), yelling for echoes on top of a hill. )

SEAN:
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

THOMAS:
HELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

SEAN:
THOMAS!!!!

THOMAS:
DADDDDDDDY!!!!!!!!

SEAN:
OOOOOOOOOOGA!

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-TWO-3

THOMAS
BOOOOOGAaaaaa!

(They laugh together)

THOMAS:
Great echo. So our family owns all this?

DANTE:
Helloooo!

MAURA:
Simmer down.

(To them all with a shot at Dante, who's grudginly
settles down.)

You want the whole town to hear all of yee going
loonie?

SEAN:
Oh Maura, they're just excited. Yes it's all
ours, and someday we'll build our family manor
right here.

THOMAS:
Manor?

SEAN:
A home, but much more than that—it will be in our
family for generations.  Your children's children
will celebrate Christmas here.

MAURA:
You got plans boyo! I believes that when I see
it. I best get back and get a pot on for supper. 

(Maura exits.)

THOMAS:
Hey Dante did you hear that, my children's
children--

DANTE:
That'll be the day. You won't outlive the gully
monster.

THOMAS:
Monster?

DANTE:
You hear that, it's crashing through the woods.
And you know the Banshee won't be far behind.

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-TWO-4

THOMAS:
It's just Patrick, and Ian. Our monster older
brothers. So you're just bullshittin me.

SEAN:
What was that son? A clean mouth is a clean mind.

DANTE:
Patrick's working the early shift at the mill. I
don't know where Ian is. It's the gully monster
and he's sure to get you now. It's coming, and it
especially likes little kids.  Always eats the
youngest, your guts will be hanging from his
fangs.

OFFSTAGE FEMALE VOICE:
Quick stand on a rock, or get into a tree.  The
gully monster can't get you then.

THOMAS:
Sadie? Sis? Do you see anything? Is that true
Dad? Do I have to stand on a rock?

SEAN:
Always good to have something to stand on.

DANTE:
It's coming! Sounds hungry, I'm not taking any
chances. Here's my rock. Get your own.

THOMAS:
Oh Dad! It's coming. Where's Sadie, where's
everyone?  The monster is coming--Stay away!!

(Thomas disappears in the washer-tub
and Boy appears suddenly.)

SCENE: 3

Deep in the forest. A dying echo of Thomas is heard.

(Boy runs forest length not noticing
the gully monster.)

GULLY MONSTER:
Smell the moss. Ah, the morning dew.

BOY:
Mommy! Dad?!

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-THREE-5

GULLY MONSTER:
Ah the sound of a male child in fear. Shall I sew
his mouth shut?

(BANSHEE keeps washing.)

GULLY MONSTER: (Continued)
You're right I will let him be.  That is the
sound of my peace.

(She catches Boy.)
For eternity.  What profit?  What escape? What
plans boy? All for nothing. It's over.

BOY:
Please let me go.

GULLY MONSTER:
(With a quick change in tone)

My darling, I'll protect you. You're mine. 

(The older self of Thomas enters and
stands by his younger self.)

GULLY MONSTER: (Continued)
Hear me now as you survive these next years, 
your worldly self is cursed with fear and
faithless doubt.  As that self who is beyond the
veil passes to adulthood, he'll be tested. Like
all the rest, he'll fail.

BOY:
I can't stay here. I will need to move on?

GULLY MONSTER:
Everything moves on. But as it does let's always
have some fun  And you, you my dear will be our
beauty, truth and harmony forever young. Are you
with me?

(Grace enters. She is a younger
looking Fairy.)

GRACE:
Leave the boy. The wheel must turn.

GULLY MONSTER:
No. It's done. The tests are in motion and for
now his happy innocence is mine to protect--

GRACE:
--To let go--Because it's his and his alone. 

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-THREE-6

BOY:
(To Grace)

I want to go with you. Take me back.

GULLY MONSTER:
Everybody wants Grace.  Endless paintings of you.
Glamourous purity. No one wants the Monster.

(To Grace)
Your power is limited without his worldly self
taking charge. Come boy, I want to smile again.

(She takes the boy over her
shoulders and goes into the forest.
Lights change as the boy yells.)

BOY:
Thommmmmmmmmmmmmaaaass.  

(The Gully Monster muffles his cry.)

We transition into the next scene with the older
Thomas.

THOMAS:
Thomas??

(SOUND OF A SCHOOL BELL.)

SCENE: 4

(Thomas begins talking with Colleen)

THOMAS
I'm standing on Gospel Rock cliff. The last days
of our Indian Summer.  The ocean is bashing the
edge five meters below.  Zane and the guys are
calling to me. Jump Man!  Jump you wuss!  I stand
there with my toes curled around the edge of the
rock. Seagulls fly at me----I stared straight
ahead though.  I was in their perch but I wasn't
staying. Look out world.  You know it's gorgeous
up there when the sun sets past the hills above
the beach and over the mountain beyond. Orange
fire.  Shadow patterns on my chest.  Tonight's
the night, I was going to finally dive-- --I
braced myself with one last deep breath. Who am I
kidding? I didn't breathe. I took the plunge and
dove.  My arms over my head pointing to the water
as I soared down so fast. The ocean met me faster
than I expected. Great rush.

(MORE)

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-FOUR-7

THOMAS (Continued)
I went right to the bottom and touched.  I
surfaced fast laughing and gasping for air. I did
it.  I showed them. I didn't just jump. I dove
head first. 

(Pause, To Colleen)
I wish it were all true.  I walked down the side
and swam back alone. That's it.  The whole story.

COLLEEN
Sad one, you should have really dove.

THOMAS:
Yeah, you're right.

COLLEEN:
I mean it. It's spring. Time to take the leap.

THOMAS:
Yeah.

COLLEEN
I mean it's time. Change the ending

THOMAS:
Okay, well I'll write it down with a new ending.

COLLEEN:
There are other ways to leap.

THOMAS:
Yeah.

COLLEEN:
We're not kids anymore.

THOMAS:
Nope.

(Colleen kisses him. Thomas's kisses
back.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Grad Night? Let's make it perfect Colleen. Roses
and Candles...

COLLEEN
Romantic. I like that.  See you maybe after
school at the treefort. We can hang-out. Get some
homework done.

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-FOUR-8

THOMAS:
Hang-out. Yeah sure.

(Pause. He talks out ahead)
I'll write it, that new ending.  I'm writing alot
of new stuff these days.

(Now more to himself.)
Got to make some sense of the world.

(We hear the sound of another school
bell.  Or perhaps the "morning
announcements" ad lib.)

 SCENE: 5

A few weeks past the last scene.  Thomas and his dad
Sean are stuck in in a BROKEN CAR, WAITING FOR THE
EARLY FERRY. 

THOMAS: (Continued)
You just going to sleep?

SEAN:
Passes the time.

THOMAS:
I can't sleep.

SEAN:
It's easy. Just close your eyes, and think of
nothing.

THOMAS:
(Pause)

Dad, dad, man, what the hell, how did we miss the
ferry.

SEAN:
It left without us.

THOMAS:
Very funny. This boat of a car--, you knew the
radiator would blow.

SEAN:
We were running the heater so it should have
cooled. Sorry son, you have somewhere to be? 

(Pause.)
Colleen's a lovely girl.

(Pause, no answer from Thomas.)
Tomorrow's only Sunday.  Skip mass, and sleep in.

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-FIVE-9

THOMAS:
Why did I have to come on this trip. Damn.

SEAN:
Don't swear son.  Life is too short.

THOMAS:
What does that mean?

SEAN:
Don't know, my father always said it to me.

THOMAS:
Oh. I still don't know what it means.

SEAN:
Wisdom of your fathers. Best not to question.

THOMAS:
That's what I do.

SEAN:
I've noticed.

THOMAS:
Do you ever feel something is missing in your
life?

SEAN:
Yes.

THOMAS:
Yes?

SEAN:
Yes. But what could possiby be missing in yours
so soon?

THOMAS:
Just a feeling I had. A bad dream since I was
about ten.

SEAN:
So soon, I didn't know. Here's more wisdom: that
feeling goes away.

THOMAS:
Away? Really?

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-FIVE-10

SEAN:
No, not really. But you forget as you get older
that anything really was ever missing. Male
Identity Amnesia Syndrome.

THOMAS:
Something to look forward to I guess.  You know
you could have just picked up my grad tuxedo
without me?

SEAN:
I could have, that's true. But then we'd miss out
on all this.

THOMAS:
I wouldn't miss it.

SEAN:
I WOULD.

THOMAS:
Dad—

SEAN:
Didn't mean to raise my voice son.

THOMAS:
Do you want to talk some more?

SEAN:
Men must talk less, and walk more.

THOMAS:
What does that mean?

SEAN:
Not sure, my dad said it to me—think about it.

THOMAS:
What time is it?

SEAN:
A quarter to the hour.

THOMAS:
What hour?

SEAN:
The same hour as last time you asked.

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-FIVE-11

THOMAS:
What hour is that?

SEAN:
ONE! One in the morning.

THOMAS:
You could have said so.

(He looks at his Dad, who grunts)
Five hours to go before the first ferry.

SEAN:
Son, life...

THOMAS:
Yes?

SEAN:
Nothing.

(Pause.)
Best to sleep.

THOMAS:
Can't sleep.

SEAN:
So you said. Blast it all, just be quiet.

THOMAS:
I thought we made this trip to do something
together.

SEAN:
We're doing it, we're waiting.

(They stare ahead, as the lights
fade. Immobile in their car. In the
darkness, we hear  Thomas)

THOMAS:
What time is it?

(There is a sound of a Ferry Blast
leaving the dock. Lights Down.)

Thomas moves into the next scene with flowers.

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-FIVE-12

SCENE: 6

Thomas is at the home of his girlfriend Colleen. Her
father James  is the only one home.

(Thomas sits nervously, while James
drinks.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Home early today Sir?

JAMES:
(Noticing the flowers.)

Questions, questions.

THOMAS:
Sorry to have bothered you Sir. Please let
Colleen know--

(Colleen arrives home, she hesitates
a moment, looking at the two men.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Colleen--

COLLEEN:
Daddy, you're home early.

JAMES:
Everyone is concerned about my clock.  First your
mother long distance, young Thomas here and now
you--

COLLEEN:
Everything good at the mill?

JAMES:
Tip-Top, The Japanese market is opening up.  They
might buy us out.  Good for the town, perhaps bad
for your Dad--But never mind that, never mind.

(Referring to his clinking glass)
I little relaxing drink, I'd ask you to join me,
but--

COLLEEN:
Oh Dad, you're funny.

(To Thomas)
I'll be right down. So good to see you.

(Noticing the flowers)
Oh are those for me?

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-SIX-13

THOMAS:
Yes, Yes.

COLLEEN:
I'll put them in water.

JAMES:
No dear, sit down. I'll take care of the flowers.

(James takes the flowers and unwraps them. Then one by
one, he clips off the heads of flowers throughout the
scene.)

You and Colleen have known each other a long
time.

  THOMAS:
Since she, I mean you, that is, your family...

JAMES:
Do I make you nervous? I'm your father's boss,
after all-- 

THOMAS:
(Maintaining status)

I've known your daughter since we were seven.

JAMES:
That's a long time isn't it? Now both of you are
graduating.

THOMAS:
Yes. I don't plan to miss it. We were just
planning to study some French. Colleen--

JAMES:
I dislike French. Tres, Tres, Mal, My petit chou. 
I dislike cabbage as well.  Oh, you don't
understand. Yes I know my daughter will look
gorgeous on that night.  But I'm not selling
anything. 

COLLEEN:
Daddy, please. Why are doing this?

JAMES:
(Ignoring her.)

Do you plan to stay in Ladysmith all your life
Thomas?  Not all your life?  You wouldn't be
going to University like my daughter Colleen
would you?

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-SIX-14

THOMAS:
Uh no Mr. Avery, I plan to continue at my grocery
store job and maybe commute to the college in
Nanaimo for a few courses.

JAMES:
A few courses?  What courses would they be?

THOMAS:
It's just a plan right now, but I thought I'd
take all my English courses--save some money and
then go to University.  UBC maybe---or UVic-- uhm
I really, don't ...uhm first I just want to
graduate.

JAMES:
I'm not smiling.  You see Mother and I have
discussed Colleen's future, and I have decided to 
send her to Queens, our old university.

COLLEEN:
Dad! We haven't really--

THOMAS:
You've decided...(pause) that's cool.

JAMES:
Funny thing, it's very faraway.  Kingston Ontario
and it would seem unlikely that your friendship
should continue to grow.. Make it an end ship,
very soon Thomas.. After all the phone company
won't pay your long distance bill.

THOMAS:
But Mr. Avery--

JAMES:
--There are no buts Thomas.

THOMAS:
Yes, I see what you are saying, but--

JAMES:
HEAR what I'm saying.  That's the trouble with
your TV generation, too visual.  Listen to me
Thomas.  You're only seventeen you have a life to
live and Colleen has hers.

THOMAS:
Colleen might have something—

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-SIX-15

JAMES:
Come this way Thomas and let me show you the
latest addition to my collection.

THOMAS:
Sir, that's okay, I'll call later.

COLLEEN:
Oh please, Thomas is not interested in that.

JAMES:
(Ignoring her, reveling in the item.)

See this beauty.  An R.C.M.P. issue 38 given to
me by my good friend Sergeant Nicholas.

THOMAS:
A nice gift, Mr. Avery.

JAMES:
Killed himself and left it to me in his will.

THOMAS:
I'm sorry Sir, I didn't know.

JAMES:
Of course you didn't.  A blessing really--he was
worth more to his family dead than alive.

THOMAS:
(Uneasy, backing away)

That's wonderful sir.

JAMES:
We both know where you stand with Colleen now
don't we?

(Pause, as he handles his gun.)
Good-bye Thomas.

(Thomas nods, exits. James sweeps up the flower heads
and disposes of them. Colleen is shocked.  )

COLLEEN:
Dad!

SCENE: 7

Zane and Thomas are playing catch. Lunch at school.

THOMAS:
He brought out a gun!

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-SEVEN-16

ZANE:
Yeah, I know, crazy man. Relax. You'll find the
guts to work that out.

THOMAS:
Road movie, I need some new material.

ZANE:
Cross Canada? We're doing it?  Perfect, we need
this right now.  Something crazy— We'll piss in
the Atlantic Ocean, and drive right back all in
five days.

THOMAS:
Can we? Should we? Do we try?

ZANE:
We DO! There's only do. Next week. Yeah!!  And
don't wuss out on me.  We're both going in. 
We're driving 10000 clicks just to swim in both
oceans.  Are you with me!?

(They begin the rugby cheer.)
Pass'em ball, hey! Oooga!

THOMAS:
Booga!

ZANE:
I can't hear you.

THOMAS:
BOOOOOGAaaaaa!

ZANE AND THOMAS:
Zigga, zagga, hey! Hey! Hey!

(We hear a school bell.)

THOMAS
We're going to be late for class.

ZANE:
(Calling back to him.)

You ever thought of talking to your dad about
Colleen. Or any of your other dreams? Whoah--it
works.

(They look at each other and
laugh.Thomas exits Zane is left
alone. Quick fade to a sharp spot
light.)

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-SEVEN-17

ZANE: (Continued)
I'm alone. There's silence.  A sharp edge of
light cuts through, wicked and sweet, right
through  all this screwed-up society stuff-you
know, left to us by the generation before.  Our
world's avoidable destruction-- The light cuts
without violence. I step into that pool of light.  
There's an intake of breath.  There are other
social beasts here too.  I hear it first like the
low purr of the Porsche convertible we will rent
for Grad night.  ..zzzzzz and then louder
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ, and then my name, ZANE! ZANE! The
crowd chants my name Zane, wild, loud, fun, free. 
Zane. Then a hush.  From the heavens a guitar is
lowered down into my hands.  I hold it and it
caresses me back, and I play the music of the God
guitarist Jimmy Hendrix.  The music plays through
me, and I stumble with grace through the chords I
don't even know.  And then I feel it...waves
rolling over me, green, yellow, and blue breaths
of blood.  Waves of soul.  I believe in soul.   
The crowd shouts love, and I feel joy.  The music
forgets it has a body, I have a body, and I just
play.  

SCENE: 8

Thomas is on his bed writing in his journal. His Dad
has entered

THOMAS:
(Noticing his father staring)

Whacha looking at?

SEAN:
You.

THOMAS:
Stop it would you please.

SEAN:
When did you get so old? My youngest--

THOMAS:
--July 1st every year Dad.

SEAN:
So I hear your essay on Canada's Uncertain
Identity won first prize in The Sun Student Essay
competition?

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-EIGHT-18

THOMAS:
Yep.

SEAN:
That's good son. Next time, could you write
something funny, happy?

THOMAS:
I won first prize.

SEAN:
Yes, of course.  But happy is as happy does.
people need happy stories. Son, we never had the
talk.

THOMAS:
Dad we had the sextalks already. You gave me
condoms.

SEAN:
I suppose we did. But the other talk is more
important.

THOMAS:
What talk is that?

SEAN:
Well we never seem to get through it--in the car
last week-- I've tried many times, but well what
I want to talk about is: what are you going to
do?

THOMAS:
Do?

SEAN:
With your life.

(Pause)
Did you hear me son, my voice went up at the end
there.  That is the question, that's the talk.

THOMAS:
Oh that talk.

SEAN:
Yes I know it might be late to have that talk,
but procrastination is the thief of the time.

THOMAS:
Well I wanted to become a writer, maybe travel
first…

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-EIGHT-19

SEAN:
Writer!  That's okay for a hobby son, do it on
the side.  But get a trade, or a saleable skill
first.

THOMAS:
Dad, I like it.

SEAN:
A job is not about likes.  You've got to survive
in this world. You've got to keep up with other
men, or you'll loose.  I've twenty-seven years at
the mill. Y0u've got to commit.  Or who knows,
any chinaman might out do you. They're
hardworkers that bunch. Then, where'd you be? In
my day, when I was your age—well a bit
younger—kids were fainting at their desk for lack
of food because  there was no job for the family--

THOMAS:
Dad! Give it a rest please.--It's 1982, the
depression is another world. I don't want to talk
about this.

(Maura comes into the room.)

MAURA:
I'm doing a final load. Any dirty clothes here.

THOMAS:
Mom, I can do my own laundry--do you both have to--

MAURA:
Oh, the lord of the manor is writing his opus!

SEAN:
(With pained reference to her interuption.)

We were talking--

THOMAS:
Folks, I just want to be left alone.

MAURA:
Ooh the artiste wants to be left alone--No need
for clean Stanfield's then? Oh I forgot you wear
Trudeau's now don't you.

THOMAS:
Mom!

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-EIGHT-20

MAURA:
It's a pun son! Wordplay. See I got the gift!  I
got the gift.  You need to laugh, where's your
laugh?

THOMAS:
Mom! 

(Pause)
My swim towel needs a wash. Remember--Zane and I
are going to Blund Lake tomorrow for a few days.

MAURA
All right then, to the business.

(She picks up the towel and exits.)

 SEAN:
Something eating you son?

THOMAS:
No. Just writin' it down.

SEAN:
All right then. 

(Turning to go.)

THOMAS:
Dad?

SEAN:
Yes son?

THOMAS:
In life, with people, power, taking charge-- what
I mean is, how do you give in, without giving up
all the time?

SEAN:
That's a million dollar question.

(He references a famous poetry line.)
Invictus!

THOMAS:
I'm not talking poetry Dad, I'm talking life.

SEAN:
What is life without poetry?

(Thomas begins to leave.)

SEAN: (Continued)
Where are you going?

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-EIGHT-21

THOMAS:
Walk. The field. The stars are out.

SEAN:
Don't leave all these lights on. Money doesn't
grow on trees.

SCENE: 9

(Lights Transtion)

Colleen Alone in her room.

COLLEEN:
(Speaking into a phone)

Mom? Italy must be so beautiful.  So much art for
you to study. Yes, lots of studying here too. Are
you going to be home for Graduation? I sure hope
so.  Everything is great. You're not sure? I
guess it's early there. I should get to sleep.
Paint me a pretty picture Mom. Good-bye. Love
you.

SCENE: 10

Scene is the start of a sequence of short scenes.*

We hear the sound of a ferry blast, Traffic noise,
gradually subsiding to the whiz of cars.Somewhere on
the trans-Canada highway towards the east. Thomas has
his head out the window. Wind in his face.

THOMAS:
Canada, damn. Look at it.

(Zane jokingly swerves the car.
TRANSITION, Later down the road)

SCENE: 11

(They are out of the car, looking at
a map.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Thunder Bay. Exact spot

ZANE:
Last Leg of Terry Fox's marathon.

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-ELEVEN-22

THOMAS:
Last leg?

(He looks up to the sky)
Sorry man. 

(Back to Zane)
They ought to put a monument here

(They nod and return to the car.)

SCENE: 12

(Zane is now driving, later in the
day.)

ZANE:
One thousand clicks to go!!! Ladysmith Good-bye. 
Praries and Frenchies good-bye.  Hello Newfies
down the road!  But you've hardly talked so far. 
What are you writing in your journal?  Tell me
the latest story or big idea.

THOMAS:
I've no new stories to tell now.

ZANE:
Come on, you always have one.

THOMAS:
(He keeps writing)

Nope.

ZANE:
The sun is getting brighter these days and they
say it's the hole in the Ozone.  They say it will
fry us by 2001.  The environment stuff usually
gets you going.

(Pause)
Look it's getting monotonous-- we've been driving
straight for five days. Read me something from
your journal.

THOMAS:
Alright, but I'm telling you it's kinda cheesy. 
"At seventeen years old I'm amazed--" --You
really want to hear this?

ZANE:
Read it all dude. Don't leave a word out—consider
I've cast a magic truth spell.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWELVE-23

THOMAS
"I'm passionate.  I have lots of love, I was just
wondering where will it go in my life.  Cause of
this fear, and doubt.  Quivering quick to the
edge of  my spine and down to my tailbone.  And
up into my skull. I pray. Because of this
longing.  Pain maybe. As we approach eastern Mile
Zero something's got to change."

ZANE:
Man, Loosen up, we're doing this to have fun.

THOMAS:
Yeah sure. 

(He starts to write again)

SCENE: 13

ZANE:
Zigga, zagga, hey! Hey! Hey!

THOMAS:
Car.

ZANE:
Whoah, the roads are thin here man.

SCENE: 14

(They do a run around the car and
then Thomas is in the passenger
seat.)

THOMAS:
I've  just got that unnamed feeling of unknowing.

ZANE:
Right on, just let it happen.

THOMAS:
--where the head meets the heart and body and
becomes a mind.

ZANE:
Yes, Thomas, give in to it. 

SCENE: 15

(The boys are down the road,
pissing.)

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-FIFTEEN-24

THOMAS:
When Pierre Elliot Trudeau won this last election
he walked triumphantly above the crowd, and his
first words to all of us were "Welcome to the
1980s."  I loved that.  Brought home the
constitution. That takes style and guts.  But now
all of us-- we're about to graduate high-school--
and I search for a metaphor for my life and hit
upon Canada.  It exists on paper. Sure. But what
is it?  The place, the country, even the idea of
Canada as a country--I don't know what that is
and I'm lost.   It doesn't seem real. Just like
my life.  I don't exist because I don't know
where I'm from. Where is here? Who is here?

ZANE:
Dude, I think you are overreaching the parallel. 
Just because you share the same birthday doesn't
mean you've gotta have the same endless indentity
crisis all your life.

(Transition to next scene, Thomas
driving.)

ZANE: (Continued)
You're lucky to have such a great old lady.

 THOMAS:
My mom?

ZANE:
I was right. You're beyond help. I mean Colleen.

THOMAS:
Colleen, she's the best. Like I told you in all
ten provinces.  She's a heart, my heart.

ZANE:
If you're not going to do with her because of her
Dad, Why don't you two break up? 

THOMAS:
Because I can't stop thinking about her. No
worries man, it's still SO in the works.   Grad
weekend.  I want it just right.  Candles in the
treefort?  Or Roses and a dinner at the Casa
Martinez. Something fancy. Women like that, eh?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-FIFTEEN-25

ZANE:
Oh yeah, very cool You know, I couche, cood with
the French Teacher.

(Thomas responds with a challenging look)
I'm not pullin' you man.

SCENE: 16

THOMAS:
This is it? Mile Zero.

ZANE:
There's no sign. There's nothing.

THOMAS:
But it's where that guy at the roadstop said to
go. Ssh, hear that?

ZANE:
Sounds like moaning--

 THOMAS:
Zane, Look! It's her!

(Above the two, the washer woman--
the Banshee is illuminated. She
beckons. Zane goes forward.)

THOMAS:
Zane, don't!

ZANE:
(He stops.)

What does she want?

THOMAS:
Death. 

(The Banshee exits.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
We're lost.

ZANE:
We're not. We're here. Our feet are are firmly on
the pebbles of this beach.

THOMAS:
I'm lost. Wait, Dance it out! Dance it out. Okay,
Good.

(He tries to dance her away.)

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-SIXTEEN-26

(A SCREAMING SOUND.  Flashes of
White and Blackness.  More sounds
that quickly fade back to the beach
sounds.  Zane moves quickly one way
and Thomas the other.  What will
become obvious is Thomas and Zane
have crossed into the Other World.)

ZANE:
Thomas! Thomas! What happened?

THOMAS:
Zane? Zane? Where are you?

SCENE: 17

The lights remain black and we immediately transition
to DANTE'S basement suite. Dante is tidying the room. 
There's a loud, insistent knock at the door, and
yelling by Colleen.  Colleen is an eighteen year old
school friend of Thomas and Zane.  She's pretty
looking, thin and a bit nervous.  Colleen is also the
daughter of James we met earlier in the play.

COLLEEN:
(OFFSTAGE)

Dante!  Dante! you there!

DANTE:
Who the hell is that? Do you know what time it
is?

COLLEEN:
(offstage)

Hello!  Dante, please answer, it's Colleen!
(offstage)

Dante!  Dante! I really have to talk with you!

(Dante does one quick check of his
place)

DANTE:
Come in Colleen, door's unlocked.

(Colleen comes in quickly and looks
about.  She's upset but trying to
hide her feelings.)

DANTE: (Continued)
So Colleen!  Colleen, uhm--Sit down.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-SEVENTEEN-27

COLLEEN:
(She sits down, on Dante's bed—notices a package of
condoms.)

So this is post University life?

DANTE:
Yeah—

COLLEEN:
Not missing much am I?

DANTE:
Beats logging camp. I'm glad you looked me up.  I
haven't seen any Ladysmith people in ages. Don't
get back much. What's Up? My little bro treating
you right Colleen?

COLLEEN
I haven't seen Thomas. He took off with Zane.

DANTE:
What?

COLLEEN:
He's been gone for three days. I didn't hear from
him. I thought he might be here. You never answer
your phone--

DANTE:
Yeah, I--Just a dumb stunt before graduation.
Don't worry about it.

COLLEEN:
I was hoping he'd be here.

DANTE:
What's wrong Colleen?

COLLEEN:
Dad showed Thomas his special handgun.

DANTE:
What?

COLLEEN:
His souvenir handgun.

DANTE:
Odd. But sometimes a gun is

(Colleen cuts in)
--just a gun--

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-SEVENTEEN-28

COLLEEN:
--Don't joke, I'm really worried.  I don't know
what to do.  My dad says I can't see Thomas
anymore. Told me I'm going to Queens, like Mom. I
have to talk with him. He's probably all but
forgotten about our plans.

DANTE:
Plans?

COLLEEN:
Nothing, just an expression.

DANTE:
(He smiles)

Hmmmm, hey what do you think of my lips?

COLLEEN:
What?

DANTE:
My lips. Do you think they're full enough?

COLLEEN:
What are you on?

DANTE:
Non-sequitor therapy--it's a new technique I
might use for my Masters--should I ever go back
that is.  But I was looking here, and I thought
geez I've got thin lips.

COLLEEN:
Is this supposed to be a come-on?

DANTE:
No.

COLLEEN
Cause, you know, that's too weird.  Thomas is-- I
don't like this at all.  My dad has done this
again…I come to you for your help.  You-- with
your--

(Dante is trying to maintain her.)
You're the older man with the fresh thick paper
psychology degree—help me.  Make me feel better.

DANTE:
Hmmm I guess I could get you drunk.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-SEVENTEEN-29

COLLEEN:
My Dad's the drinker in my family.

DANTE:
I could wait upon you hand on foot, and listen to
everything you say with great intensity, and
compliment your eyes, hair, and your perky
breasts.

COLLEEN:
Perky! I'm sorry, perky! Did I hear you right?

DANTE:
Aha non-sequitor-therapy worked, I got you
laughing.

COLLEEN:
Well…I need more compliments.

DANTE:
What are you saying?

COLLEEN:
Hold me.

(There is an awkward pause.)
Talk to me.

DANTE:
(With honesty)

You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

COLLEEN:
Now, you're just saying that.

DANTE:
No you do. I mean that.  And that laugh,
wow—you've had that laugh since you were—I don't 
know, a little girl.

COLLEEN:
I've grown.

DANTE:
I can see that.

COLLEEN:
What else would you do?

DANTE:
Well maybe I'd just listen to you, just let you
talk, and I'd listen.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-SEVENTEEN-30

COLLEEN:
That's good, but I'd run out of things to say.

DANTE:
Well then I'd sing you something, an Irish love
ballad, or maybe recite a poem I wrote for you. 
Or maybe I'd just kiss you and ask questions
later.

(He does kiss her)

COLLEEN:
Oh.

(Pause.)
Yes, your lips are too thin.

DANTE:
That's what I thought. Thanks for confirming
that.

COLLEEN:
I better  go.  The last bus leaves up island in

(She nervously checks her watch.)
Yes. It leaves soon.   If Thomas shows up, don't…

DANTE:
I won't say anything.

(She leaves quickly. Dante is left
silent, then he makes a phone call.)

SCENE 18

The otherworld.

More Thunder and wind. Darkness, and a single sharp
spot of light falls on Zane from the sides of the
stage,  a woman, strumming Stairway to Heaven enters. 
Zane is asleep on the beach.  The sound of the
screaming Banshee subsides at the entrance of a
beautiful woman who is playing a guitar. Zane awakens

ZANE:
Is this real? Is this feeling true? Is this
heaven?

GRACE:
It is real.

ZANE:
You are so awesomely beautiful, major rage on.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-EIGHTEEN-31

GRACE
Thank-you. I'll take that as a compliment.

(She reaches to help Zane up. When
their hands touch, it is an
electric feeling.)

ZANE:
Oh, yes, yes I see now. I know. All one,
everything connected.  This is not a dream.

GRACE:
You understand. Zane. But your friend Thomas is
in grave danger. He needs your help.

ZANE:
Anything I can do, I will. This feeling does it
last forever?

GRACE:
It's always there for you. You are a good friend
Zane, but you may be required to sacrifice.

((There is a loud heavy metal lick
as  the Gully Monster enters))

GULLY MONSTER:
Ah the long hairs, I always enjoy the long hairs.

ZANE:
Whoah, back off. I'm a virgin.

GULLY MONSTER:
You have no idea who I am. Barely have you drunk
the water of the pituitary

GRACE:
His choice is made.

(She plays more on the guitar)
The path must be taken.

(Another turn on the guitar)

(The Gully Monster picks up her
guitar and smashes it.)

GULLY MONSTER:
If he passes the tests, and remains true, the boy
will be given to you.

(To Zane)
But you've heard what waits for you.

(MORE)

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-EIGHTEEN-32

GULLY MONSTER: (Continued)
All you'll remember of this encounter is her
piercing scream.  She needs death, great and
small.

GRACE:
Be gone!

(A faint cry of the banshee is heard
Both Grace and Gully Monster exit
and the boys awaken.)

SCENE 19

ZANE AND THOMAS.  We return to the scene just moments
later as Zane and Thomas recover from the event.

THOMAS:
I'm still here.  I'm still alive.  Zane! Zane!

(More blasts of Thunder, a distant piercing Scream)

THOMAS: (Continued)
(There is another SCREAM—CLOSER. Zane awakes and looks
for Zane.)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

(Zane taps Thomas on the shoulder.
Thomas is scared.)

ZANE:
What? What have you got to be sorry about?

THOMAS:
I don't know. I just felt contrite.

ZANE:
Cause of the ghost?

THOMAS:
You saw her too!  That was the Banshee.  Somebody
close to me is going to die.

(TREMENDOUS THUNDER. WHITENESS AND DARKNESS)

VOICE:
Endddddddddddddddding.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-NINETEEN-33

ZANE:
The times they are a changin' Let's high wind it
back as quickly as possible and hope to hell she
doesn't follow.

SCENE: 20

At Thomas's family home.  It is mid-evening.  Maura
Mahoney, a mid-fifties woman is wearing a brightly
coloured house dress.  Sean Mahoney is in old work
clothes, wearing a ball cap.  He is relaxing on the
couch reading a book.

MAURA:
Did you like the dinner I made?

SEAN:
(He does not look up from his book)

Yes, always your best.

MAURA:
Nobody seemed to like the dessert I made for the
Grade Twelve Banquet.

SEAN:
Their loss, my gain.

MAURA
(Good naturedly)

Yes I can see that.

SEAN:
(Patting his belly.)

Starting next week it's time to lay-off the
Doctor Pepper.

MAURA:
I don't understand how you like that drink.  Just
because that Mormon couple we met at the marriage
renewal tells you its good for you because
there's no caffeine.  It still has a lord's
supply of sugar.

SEAN:
Oh, you say now does it?  I can always say my
Doctor ordered me to it. Can't say who
told you to wear that dress today.

MAURA:
Gretchen Growden was over for tea.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-34

SEAN:
Another hen party was it?  You got the priest in
your sight today have you?

MAURA:
My days of fighting the parish priests are over
now. All the kids are gone.

SEAN:
Don't start that  would you now Mo. Not again,
you'll be staining our new carpet with tears.

MAURA:
All my children are grown now. Thomas is my wee
last one.  That's the boyo, he'll go far.

SEAN:
If he can keep his head out of the clouds and
focus.

MAURA:
Och! Let the boyo dream. He's young yet.

SEAN:
Would you stop, I'm studying this prospectus of
Stalling Lake.

MAURA:
Not another stock again—Let's put our money into
a trip. Let's travel. I'd love to visit the old
country again. See my sister before she passes.

SEAN:
Why do we need to go anywhere?  It's all right
here.  We live in the most beautiful place in the
world.

MAURA:
Is it too much to ask? A bleeding holiday before
the Lord sends us all home.

SEAN:
We are home Maur'.

MAURA:
All my children are gone. Seems like only this
morning at the first gloryrays of sun that my
youngest was cutting his first tooth.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-35

SEAN:
Would you stop!  Leave me to read, and you read
your book. What is it anyway?

MAURA:
Never you mind. It's nothing.

(Hiding the book she was reading)

SEAN:
(He walks over)

Let me see.

MAURA:
(Laughing nervously)

You can't see it, keep your blessed hands away. 
SEAN!

(They tease with the book finally SEAN sees it..)

SEAN:
A new dictionary!  How much did this cost?

MAURA:
It's borrowed, the priest gave it to me.

SEAN:
What makes you read this? Is it entertaining?

MAURA:
It's  just something I like to do.  After all,
the dictionary has all the books in one.

SEAN:
I guess you're right Maura. You're always right.

MAURA:
You  finally learned.  Now about our trip to
Ireland—

SEAN:
No, go by yourself.

MAURA:
Why won't you come?

SEAN:
I like where I'm at. Here is where I am at.

MAURA:
Now you're talking like Thomas.  You just want
everything to stay the same.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-36

SEAN:
Is that a crime?

(He puts his book down)
I'm done. I'm going for a walk to the back of the
property?

MAURA:
Remember the bears.

SEAN:
It is late. Maybe I'll go the Village Store and
pick up some more Doctor Pepper.

(By this time he's put his shoes on, and a light coat.
He's ready to go.  He picks-up a walkman player.)

MAURA:
What's that you got there?

SEAN:
Motivational Tapes for making a million bucks.

MAURA:
That will be the day buster.

SEAN:
It's all here

(The phone rings.)

MAURA:
Who could that be?  Maybe the school about grad
night? Or Mrs. Josef about her pie,
Or The Hotel About Cleaning Shifts?

SEAN:
Answer it and you'll know.

MAURA:
(Picks up the phone)  Hello!  Thomas, where are
you, I can hardly hear you.

SEAN:
Say hello for me. I'm off.

MAURA
What Thomas, just a moment your father is just
heading out the door.

(Calling to Sean.)
Buy  a loaf of bread Sean.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-37

SEAN:
Yes I will pick up some bread.

MAURA:
(Back to the phone)

Yes I can hear you now.

(SEAN signals that he will and
leaves.)

SCENE: 21

(Lights up on Thomas and Zane crowded around a
roadside payphone.)

THOMAS:
Is that you, you're there Mom, you're speaking to
me?

MAURA:
Well of course I'm speaking to you. My lips are
moving lad.  Where are you?

THOMAS:
Is Dad there?

MAURA:
I told you, he just left to the store.  Where are
you.

THOMAS:
In the middle of Saskatchewan Mom.

MAURA:
What!!  What in blazes are you doing there lad? 
You told me you're going to the lake.

THOMAS:
We  took a detour Mom.

MAURA:
A detour?  Where?

THOMAS:
Mile Zero, Newfoundland.

ZANE:
Tell her!  Don't waste the quarters.

MAURA:
Zane is that you?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-ONE-38

ZANE:
Hi Mrs. Mahoney.  We saw a ghost.

THOMAS:
I was going to tell her.

MAURA:
Tell me what!  Are you making it back in time for
Graduation?  I made a cake for you.

THOMAS:
Mom, thanks. Mom listen--we saw the banshee.

MAURA:
Saints in blessed heaven.  Swear on Saint Patrick
you are not taking the power of that creature in
vain.

THOMAS:
Mom I'm not lying.

MAURA:
When?

THOMAS:
About four thousand kilometres from here, she was
beautiful.

ZANE:
She was creepy, but there was a chick with her. 
She was screaming way off pitch. 

(Attempting to recover his real vision:)
But I know--what was it--I know something--

MAURA:
Hello!  Hello! Did you say she was wailing?

THOMAS:
Yes Mom. That's why I called. Is everyone okay?

MAURA:
You just didn't get enough sleep. Probably eating
too much junk food.

THOMAS:
Mom there's a great stuckness in my chest.

MAURA:
Come home, I'll make Oats Delight.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-ONE-39

THOMAS:
Mom. It's scary. The Banshee--

MAURA:
--Don't mention her name.

THOMAS:
It's not that I fear my end is near.  It's that
I'm always afraid of beginning. 

MAURA:
Thomas,  I've listened  to you so many times, and
still I really don't what the blazes you're
saying, but I like it just the same.

THOMAS:
I'm just trying to tell you how I feel Mom. I'm
trying to tell you--

MAURA:
--We don't talk about feelings Thomas. Not now. 
Don't talk anymore. Just come home. Zane drive
safely.  Avoid any visions. 

THOMAS:
It's nothing to worry about.

ZANE:
The boy's safe with me Mrs. Mahoney.

(Lights down on the boys.)

MAURA:
Come home boys.  Thomas, there's a lad.

(She looks at the clock, checks that
is ticking, adjusts the time.)

LIGHTS FADE.

SCENE: 22

(Zane and Thomas asleep in the car, parked in an empty
lot.  Both are zonked out. Suddenly there's noise.)

PETER:
Bitch! Get in the fuckin' cab.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-TWO-40

LADY:
Leave me--

(She tries to avoid a hard slap to the face, and gets
it again.)

PETER:
-- Bitch! This is all you've done? You got more
to do tonight. 

(Inside the car, Thomas and Zane
awake.)

THOMAS:
What! Did you see that?

ZANE:
Shit, asshole.

THOMAS:
Do they have prostitutes in Saskatoon?

(Lady tries to run, Peter the Pimp
comes after her. She makes it to
the boy's car.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Duck!

ZANE:
Screw this noise.

(He gets out of the car)
Hey! Leave the good woman alone.

PETER:
Stay out of this boy.

LADY:
Get lost kid. We're just having a friendly
discussion.

PETER:
You heard the lady.  

ZANE:
Do you need a ride somewhere Miss?

PETER:
Lady's got a date already. If you got the cash
you can be her next soft touch.

(He grabs her arm, and pulls her into himself.)

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-TWO-41

ZANE:
Would you like a ride somewhere Miss?

PETER:
You deaf, or stoned on B.C. homegrown, longhair? 
Get your skinny, long haired la-la boy ass out of
here.

(Dismissing him)
Onward, lady.

THOMAS:
Zane, let's go.

ZANE:
Thomas we can't just go….

PETER:
Take the advice of your boyfriend faggot. 

ZANE:
No wonder they call this toon town.

PETER:
You insult my town faggot?

(He advances on him and begins to slam him into the car)

(The Lady grabs his arm and tries to
pull him off.)

LADY:
Come on Peter, you're hurting the kid.

(Peter swings her off, and then
turns to slap her, Zane grabs his
arm in midswing.)

ZANE:
Give me a hand Thomas.

(Peter turns his arm into a
backswing and slams Zane in the
face. Zane is on the ground.  Peter
goes to his pickup truck and gets a
gas can. He begins to pour the
liquid on Zane.)

ZANE: (Continued)
What? Lay off Man.

(Peter kicks Zane.   Thomas gets out
of the car and stands there frozen.)

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-TWO-42

PETER:
Don't you fucking move boyfriend, your little
faggot plays with fire, he's going to get what's
coming to him.

LADY:
No! Peter, leave the kid alone.

(Peter strikes a match on his boot.
It flares up, and he comes in close
to Zane.)

PETER:
(Leaning to his ear)

Smell that boy? 
(Peter has taken out a knife and cut off some of Zane's
long hair.)

That's right boy. That's the smell of faggots
like you burning in hell. You interupted my
business.  What have you got to say to me?

ZANE:
(Humming a tune we recognize it as Taking care of
business)

PETER:
You want to see your friend alive again Tommy
boy? Leave.

ZANE:
Don't go Thomas.

PETER:
That scared rabbit aint got the balls to see
anything through faggot.

THOMAS:
I'll go Zane, I'll go get help.

ZANE:
Don't leave me here Thomas.

PETER:
Don't leave me here Tommmmy.

(The Match has gone out.)
Lady give me your lighter. 

(As he goes for the lighter, he splashes more gas onto
Thomas.)

Lighter's coming for you too punk.  Get your ass
out of here.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-TWO-43

THOMAS:
I'll be back Zane. I'm coming back.

(Thomas leaves, in a quick back up,
and then runs off.)

ZANE:
Fuck Thomas, come back!

PETER:
Just you and me kid. Say hi to the devil for me.

((He gets the lighter very close to
Zane, and then hoarsely whispers))

PETER: (Continued)
Get your ass up. Feel this lady.  Feel this right
here Lady.  See that's the beating heart of a
faggot.  Thumpety thump, thumpety thump.

ZANE:
I've some money.

PETER:
(Laughing)

The faggot has money.
(He takes what money is offered)

Get in your car and never come near my business
again.

(Zane attempts to gets up towards
his car, he starts the engine.)

(Thomas comes running after Zane.)

THOMAS:
Zane! Zane! I called the cops. The cops are
coming!

ZANE:
Forget it! Selfish fuckwad! Where the fuck were
you?

THOMAS:
He told me to go. I tried to stay. I went for
help. I was coming right back to you.

ZANE:
You left me! I could have fuckin' been killed!

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-TWO-44

THOMAS:
I was trying to get help. 

ZANE:
This was no dream, you piece of shit. This was no
banshee, it was real.

(They make their way to the car.)

THOMAS:
I know. I--

ZANE:
Get in. 

THOMAS:
We should wash up.

ZANE:
No one's washing anything. We need more of the
road.

(Thomas gets in the car, far and
faint we hear the banshee cry.
Grace appears.)

GULLY MONSTER:
Worlds within worlds as the time moves along. 
You pass the first test Thomas if your friend
stays by your side.

(HERE, THIS MAY STILL BE A NEW SCENE
DOWN THE ROAD. Zane punches him.)

THOMAS:
Ow! Oh. Yeah, okay. Want another punch? Punch me.

ZANE:
You think that's going to make it all better? 
You smell of fear.  Not the kind that makes
sense.  But the kind that stops you in your
tracks. Look in the mirror. Look what do you see?

THOMAS:
A coward.

ZANE:
Yeah, oh shit. A coward. My best friend is a
fucking coward. What does that make me? Maybe,
man, we're just a couple of hoser-goofs from
westcoast nowhere. But we matter.

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-TWENTY-TWO-45

THOMAS:
Punch me.

ZANE:
Nope, Celtic dead man. Here's where we wash it
all away.  The world is not a fun place when you
are looking at it through other people's eyes. 
You're blind to your power. Seize it. Grab it.
Fucking live. 

THOMAS:
I'm sorry.

ZANE:
There's dark magic surrounding you Thomas. Let's
go home.

SCENE: 23

THOMAS IN THE TREEFORT  But Thomas is on a branch
outside the treefort praying.   Colleen enters into
the tree fort and calls up to him

(COLLEEN enters.)

COLLEEN:
Thomas, I've been looking everywhere for you.
Where have you been for almost a whole week?

THOMAS
Seeing the country before graduation.

COLLEEN:
I wish you told me.

THOMAS:
Does your dad know you're here?

COLLEEN:
He went for a drive to sober up.

THOMAS:
Jerk.  Scared the hell out of me, doesn't care if
other people might be hurting, might need--I
ought to tell him--

COLLEEN:
--What are you talking about?

THOMAS:
My Dad had a heart attack two nights ago.

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-TWENTY-THREE-46

COLLEEN:
Is he okay?

THOMAS:
No. It's touch and go, he might not make it.

COLLEEN:
Oh. (pause) Oh, I see. I'm sorry.

THOMAS:
It really is raining—Can you hear it on the roof?

COLLEEN:
You're soaked skin through.

THOMAS:
I love the forest, burst of wet, source of life
and breath, I could—

COLLEEN:
Live here?

THOMAS:
You read it--we always--

COLLEEN:
--Said that we could.

THOMAS:
You're still finishing my sentences.  Colleen,
the night before in the hospital,with my Dad
yelling --"Let me live and die in my own bed!"--
I had a big fight with him.  Sort of said he was
not the greatest father. Dumb! That was so dumb.
Do you hate your father?

COLLEEN:
There would be nothing left of me if I did that.

THOMAS:
Forgive him?

COLLEEN:
Listen to the rain.

THOMAS:
It's a prayer.  The world begins again with each
little pissass raindrop.  So bloody decisive. 
They don't think about where to fall, you know,
it's like they just do.

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-TWENTY-THREE-47

COLLEEN:
I'll be leaving soon, and I want to remember this
in the way we planned.  

THOMAS:
(Remember Grad, remembering plans)

You're going away. To Queens.  This is it.
(Quickly with the new thought.)

Stay and go to UVic with me.

COLLEEN:
Thomas let's have now.

THOMAS:
I guess that's a plan. Amongst all the plans.

COLLEEN
Remember the story you wrote about the apple.

THOMAS:
Don't bring that up, an apple is an apple
Colleen.

COLLEEN:
Yes, but you turned it into a story of the
surprise of creation. I knew--

THOMAS:
--We were eleven Colleen.

COLLEEN:
That's just it, even then you had a gift, a
strength.  What happened to those guts inside
you, the guy I promised....

THOMAS:
I don't know Colleen.  I lost wonder when reality
kicked me in the head. But what the hell, at
least I felt the kick, unlike yourself.

COLLEEN:
I take the path of least resistance.

THOMAS:
Be ordered to Queens by your nutcase dad.

COLLEEN:
It's not like that.

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-TWENTY-THREE-48

THOMAS:
(Quickly perhaps, challenging her.)

I might be out here for the whole night.

COLLEEN:
Allright, I'm going.

THOMAS:
Wait Colleen!

(Thomas brings himself down from the
treefort.  He goes to kiss her and
holds her. They begin to kiss each
other. Both needing each other's
touch. )

COLLEEN:
Oh Thomas, I'm so sorry.

THOMAS:
Let's not talk.

COLLEEN:
Uh okay.

THOMAS:
I mean it's better that way right, more romantic.

COLLEEN:
It just is. Shut up and kiss me some more.

(She reaches into his pants.)
That was a better kiss.

THOMAS:
(In the middle of the groping, which is overwhelming
him with excitement.)

Better than what?

COLLEEN:
Nothing.

THOMAS:
((He tries to study her for a moment.)

Better than who?

COLLEEN:
Dante.

THOMAS:
You were with my brother?

(MORE)

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-TWENTY-THREE-49

THOMAS: (Continued)
(Colleen nods, and tries to kiss him but Thomas is
overwhelmed both by the news and his own awkardly
arrived orgasm)

Oh shit. Oh Shit! This is too much.  This is too
much. I've--

 COLLEEN:
--Oh it's okay. It's alright. This all happens,
I'm sure, I guess, I mean I don't know--

THOMAS:
No, no it doesn't, shouldn't, didn't, couldn't. 
Why'd it have to?  This is not the way I wanted
it. This is not how we were going to do it.  God
damn hell Colleen, I wanted roses for you. Take
your hands off me.

(He turns away and he tries to clean
himself, and rebuckles himself.)

COLLEEN:
I was looking for you, I was worried, it just
happened. Well nothing really happened--

THOMAS:
Fuck Off!

(Colleen backs away uncertain.)

COLLEEN:
Thomas, you swore at me!

THOMAS:
Yeah I did. Get used to it.

COLLEEN:
(She tries to hold him.)

I know you must be mad.

THOMAS:
(He pushes her hands away.)

I have to get back home.

COLLEEN:
Thomas, I'm sorry. It's you I want.

THOMAS:
(Partially to himself, straining anger.)

Wait until I talk with Dante.

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-TWENTY-THREE-50

COLLEEN:
It meant nothing.

THOMAS:
Colleen we talked about promising ourselves to
each other. Right to our first love, all of our
kisses belonged only to each other. All of them.

COLLEEN:
It can still all happen that way.

THOMAS:
Your dad is waving guns, my girlfriend is playing
with my brother, my dad is dying--have you been
listening to me? Or are you as insane as your
dad?

COLLEEN:
My Dad! I'm tired of being afraid. Don't be
afraid.

THOMAS:
Fear is the only friend I've got right now. 
We'll talk later.

COLLEEN:
When? So easy for you to just escape. Be present,
be there. That's what I wanted. When?

(Thomas exits. Scene transitions
with Boy.)

SCENE: 24

(We  see the image of the boy who is
seven standing on a rock.)

BOY:
Daddy, the gully monster can't get me.

(Lights fade and come up on the next
scene.)

SCENE: 25

Mahoney Family Home. Maura and Thomas enter from
upstairs.

MAURA:
Your father has more he wants to say to you.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-51

THOMAS:
I'm not going in there again Mom.

MAURA:
Tell him that you--that he means something to
you.

THOMAS:
Any words I say won't get past this fight, or the
one yesterday--.

MAURA:
--Let your feet do the talking then. Save your
breath, while he speaks his last.

THOMAS:
Where is everyone else?  Why do you have to go
through this alone?

MAURA:
Your brother Kieran is resting. He needs his
rest. Irene has to look after her own. Dante,
said he was coming here tomorrow.

SEAN:
(Calling from his bedroom)

Thomas? Bring some more water will you?

(Thomas gets some water, and goes
slowly towards his father.)

MAURA:
We can't be sure of anything. 

THOMAS:
They thought he'd be dead yesterday Mom.

MAURA:
Then there's hope for us all. Now see to him. 
Thomas you're keeping your prayers going, like I
asked

THOMAS:
Yes Mom.

MAURA:
Well tonight, we're doing three Novenas, we'll do
it in shifts, and sometimes together.

THOMAS:
Yes Mom.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-52

MAURA:
Well go Thomas, go.

(Thomas approaches into his father's
room and towards his bed.)

THOMAS:
Here's your water Dad. 

SEAN:
I'd ask for ice-cream, but I can't really taste
it. Oh, I love ice cream. Almost as much as your
mom.

THOMAS:
I love ice-cream too Dad.

(Pause.)
Want to go swimming?

SEAN:
What?

THOMAS:
A pretend swim. You taught me to swim Dad.  Let
me teach to imagine one now. It could be easy, we
just decide where to go, and start making it up.

SEAN:
Sounds silly.

THOMAS:
Just go with it. Pick a beach Dad.

SEAN:
Allright, all right. Cook Point.

THOMAS:
We walk the trail down through the woods.  Hey,
let's make it my birthday, you know a special
Canada Day swim.

SEAN:
All right. First thing in the morning at the
lowest tide--

THOMAS:
--We tear off our clothes, I race on ahead, cause
you know I'm younger.

SEAN:
Across the heavy sea smooth boulders…

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-TWENTY-FIVE-53

THOMAS:
And down to the edge, the barnacles exposed.

SEAN:
Oh darn.

THOMAS:
What is it Dad?

SEAN:
Part of the story son. I cut my feet on the
barnacles.

THOMAS:
"The lowest of the low still have a job to do."

SEAN:
Yes that's what my Dad always said about them.
Sharp things they really cut.

THOMAS:
Come to the sandbar, you'll forget about that.

SEAN:
Oh, hard not to imagine all this. Such a
wonderful day!

THOMAS:
Yeah Dad, look at the waves.  Stay with it.  We
have to get in the water.

SEAN:
Blast of energy.  (Cough)  I -- (cough) Race
ahead of you.  The fresh wet sand feels good on
my feet.

THOMAS:
The splortchalaork of the sand as we walk over
the clam holes--

SEAN:
What kind of word is that?

THOMAS:
Splortchalaork--I made it up, onomatopoeia

SEAN:
Did they teach you that in that high school of
leftover hippies?

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-TWENTY-FIVE-54

THOMAS:
What do you mean Dad?

SEAN:
Use real words.

THOMAS:
It's a word Dad.

SEAN:
Onomatopoeia? What three-dollar word are you
pulling out there?

THOMAS:
Dad! What gives? We were going to go for a swim.

SEAN:
Sorry son, I just prefer to use real words.

(He coughs some more.)
Thomas, Thomas, don't ever die.

THOMAS:
I don't understand.

SEAN:
It was a joke son. You understand.

THOMAS:
I'm not joking.

SEAN:
Good for you son, death is no joking matter.

THOMAS:
(Reminding his Dad he wants a lesson for living.)

I'm not talking about death Dad.

SEAN:
I know son, I know.

THOMAS:
Dad, you think that maybe you could call me by my
name instead of son all the time?

SEAN:
Whatever you like son.

THOMAS:
My name is Thomas.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-55

SEAN:
I know your name son. I gave it to you.  From the
moment you were born, we said you were filled
with doubts.

THOMAS:
Sean, what's it like?

SEAN:
I'm not a writer Thomas--I'm just a working man
dying.

THOMAS:
Tell me what it's like.

SEAN:
Thomas, remember when you were little,  and the
whole family climbed to the top of our property
and looked out over the gully.  And Dante said
"Look out! the Gully monster will get you," and
your oldest sister said...

THOMAS:
"Not if I was standing on a rock or a tree-
stump."

SEAN:
I've got nothing to stand on.

THOMAS:
I remember, I wrote a story about it. We climbed
to the top of that hill and you said you were
going to build a huge home there.  You never did.

SEAN:
I never finished this one either.

THOMAS:
I heard you can't die as long as you've got
something to finish.

SEAN:
Oh that's a good one Thomas.  Write it down.

THOMAS:
I'll write it all down, Dad.  Get 'em published.

SEAN:
Oh Thomas, head in the clouds.  Remember get a
saleable skill.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-56

THOMAS:
Not that again…

SEAN:
Listen to me, listen…you see, I want to say
something to you. I want to know you are
taking care of yourself. I want to know you can
believe in yourself.

THOMAS:
I believe I like to write.

SEAN:
Bravo! Let me applaud the effort.

THOMAS:
I don't need your applause.

SEAN:
I know son, I know.

THOMAS:
Especially when you don't really mean it.

SEAN:
Son, I'm just trying to get you goin, get you to
see.

THOMAS:
I want you to know I will be okay.

SEAN:
I'm sure you will.  You're my last child.  When
this is all  over, when it's done,  tell everyone
I  said something really important to you.

(They pause, Thomas tries to talk
about love, but hides it.)

THOMAS:
Dad, I don't hate you.

SEAN:
I don't hate you either Thomas. Go now.

THOMAS:
I don't want to just yet.  I do need your
applause. There's so much I need to know.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-57

SEAN:
Carry a dictionary like your mother, you'll know
everything then.

THOMAS:
What?

SEAN:
Another joke son.

(He laughs and the laughing turns to
an urgent coughing fit.)

THOMAS:
Dad, are you okay?

MAURA:
(RUNNING IN)

What is it? What's the matter, Thomas, go pray.

(THOMAS goes out,  and begins to pray and his mother
soon joins him, as they are kneeling against the
couch)

BOTH:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee,
Blessed art thou amongst women, blessed is the
fruit of thy womb, Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother ....

DANTE, 24 years old, son, and brother bursts into the
home.

DANTE:
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF God!! What in the world are
you two doing?

MAURA:
Keep your voice down. Have you forgotten so soon?

DANTE:
Yes Mom, Freud's become my new church.  And
Pavlov's rats are my angels.

THOMAS:
I thought they were dogs.

DANTE:
Quite right!

MAURA:
Overeducated layabout--get a job Dante.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-58

DANTE:
It's good to see you too Mom, and I'm glad you'll
allow the Twentieth Century guests in my mind to
enter this premodern home.

THOMAS:
You interrupted us Dante.

DANTE:
My brother, my little pal--

THOMAS:
You're drunk.

DANTE:
I might be stoned too

(He takes out a baggy)
Want some, I'll get you higher than your prayers
will carry you.

MAURA:
Dante, leave this house now.

THOMAS:
Mom!

MAURA:
Leave, I'm going to sit  with your father and
when I return you'll have made friends with the
other side of that door.

DANTE:
Mom, I'm here to see Dad, that's all I want to
do, and then I'll be gone.

MAURA:
I'll tell him you dropped by. You and those other
lunatics.

THOMAS:
Mom!

MAURA:
Thomas, not another word.

(She exits)

THOMAS:
You couldn't come home straight.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-59

DANTE:
Who are you calling straight?  I'm more than
straight.

THOMAS:
It's not about  you Dante, not now, not right
now.  This whole family is so wrapped up in
themselves. I wish we could see each other--

DANTE:
I see the Mommy's boy I know  will never leave
home.  What do you say to that?

THOMAS:
Nothing.

DANTE:
I suppose nothing will come from nothing.
Nothing.

THOMAS:
Why couldn't you come home decently?

DANTE:
I tried Thomas, I tried. 

THOMAS:
Well you didn't try hard enough, asshole.

DANTE:
Who the hell are you to talk??  Take off on a
road trip to nowhere. Leave your girlfriend--

THOMAS:
Leave Colleen out of this!

DANTE:
Oh so you know about——

THOMAS:
--That's all you can say—no denials??

DANTE:
Yes we kissed. Yes I liked it.  If I'm not
mistaken so did she.  You got any gum? My mouth
is dry.

(Thomas is not sure what to do. He
paces. He looks back at Dante.  He
slumps in a chair and starts to
cry. There is a  pause.)

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-TWENTY-FIVE-60

(Tension between the two brothers
finally Dante speaks.)

DANTE: (Continued)
Give me some gum. You always have peppermint gum.

(Thomas rummages through his
pockets. He throws the gum
violently at Dante.)

DANTE: (Continued)
Best you can do? I've nothing to hide. That's my
secret.  You're just like Dad.

THOMAS:
Don't say that. I'm my own person. I'm not like
Dad.

DANTE:
Good for you kiddo.

THOMAS:
Don't call me kiddo.

DANTE:
You're still a kid, kiddo. And you are your
father's son Thomas. All your doubts are directly
from Dad. You even sign your name like him.

THOMAS:
You say all that as if it's an insult. 

DANTE:
It is. Oh don't get me wrong, we both love Dad. I
showed up.  But hell, sometimes I want take a
laser to those worser parts in me that are coded
right down to my bones from Dad. Do you think we
will feel free when it happens? 

THOMAS:
Jerk! Shut-up, Mom might...Dad is--I don't know--

DANTE:
He'll never die cause there's little you.

THOMAS:
I--I--

DANTE:
I, I, I--sing the blues for you--

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-TWENTY-FIVE-61

(MAURA re-enters to the main scene)

MAURA:
--Enough. Your father is dead.

(Pause. Everyone remains still.)

THOMAS:
Shouldn't we call the ambulance?

MAURA:
Of course, that's the right thing to do. But your
father is dead.

THOMAS:
But how do you—?

MAURA:
--I  know. He said to leave him there until
morning. He likes to sleep late on week-ends.

DANTE:
Did he get last rights?

MAURA:
What do you care?  I told you to leave. Get out
of my sight! You've got no respect.

DANTE:
Mom, I was, I just wanted--

MAURA:
--Aye, you want, you want.  That's all there is
to you lad. I can't speak to you now Dante.  I
told you to make friends with the other side of
that door.

DANTE:
Mom, I'm sorry.

MAURA:
Sorry, is it? Be sorry somewhere else.

DANTE:
(Going to touch his Mother)

Mom, do you—

MAURA:
--Don't touch me Dante. Get your weedy fingers
from my door. Get sober lad. I'll not talk to you
until then. Dead father or no.

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-TWENTY-FIVE-62

THOMAS:
You should go Dante.

DANTE:
Don't tell me what to do kiddo.

MAURA:
That's right no one can tell the great Dante what
to do. Hit the road lad.

DANTE:
When is the funeral?

MAURA:
The funeral will be on  Saturday.  Your father
has requested that nobody bring drink Dante. Go
now, pickle yourself on that thought lad.

(Dante picks up his coat and goes to
leave. He exits.)

THOMAS:
He did get last rights with Father Theo?

MAURA:
Yes lad, Father Theo gave the old boy a good
service.

THOMAS:
What do we now?

MAURA:
On Sunday, right after early mass, I'm leaving
for Ireland and other places.

THOMAS:
Other places?

MAURA:
Other places--see the world.  Like your father
always said—"The world is your Oyster."  What in
the blazes did that mean anyway?

THOMAS:
How long are you going for?

MAURA:
Your father had a saying for almost anything;
funny we won't hear that anymore.  I don't know
how long--I have some savings.  You'll look after
the house won't you Thomas?

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-TWENTY-FIVE-63

THOMAS:
Yes. Mom, are you O.K.? 

MAURA:
Of course I am, why shouldn't I be? 

THOMAS:
Dad's, he's, I can't believe--

MAURA:
Yes boyo, yes. I know. None of us live forever. 
It's the way of the world.

(She keeps busy.)
Now make sure there's lots of roses, your father
loved roses.  Oh, Thomas--You know that Mr. Jerry
Macelrath?  Your father asked me to make sure he
doesn't come to the funeral. Seems silly, but
that's his part of the business. You'll call him
won't you Thomas?

THOMAS:
Yeah, uh, sure.

(He goes to call, but stops.)
It's 3:30 in the morning Mom.

MAURA:
Why so it is, well,

(She turns to go upstairs.)
I'm tired, and I'm going to our--the room
upstairs, to rest a bit, I don't know, you
understand.

(She pauses on the stairs, Mother and son as far apart
as possible.)

Thomas, I don't  have words for this, have you?

THOMAS:
No. That's my word. No.

MAURA:
Aye, yes, yes, no, that's the word.

(Lights fade to black as they pause staring across at
each other.)

(End of act one.)

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-TWENTY-SIX-64

THOMAS AT MILE ZERO

Act Two

SCENE: 26

The living room of the Mahoney home. Thomas is crashed
on the couch. There is a knocking at the window. 
Thomas stirs a little.  Another knock. Thomas stumbles
awake and goes to the window. He looks out the window.
LIGHTS UP on Thomas's view of what he sees out the
window.  The same view we saw at the start of the
play.  There is a woman with flowing long hair, and
she is rhythmically washing a white shroud cloth.

THOMAS:
No that's my word.  It can't be. Oh, mom, your
words now, blessed be.

(He turns from the window in fright. 
He goes to ring the bear bell, but
finds  it is gone. He makes a
ritual circle quickly. He tries to
hide himself under the covers, and
soon there's a knocking at the
door.)

DANTE:
Open the door little bro—can't believe it's
locked.

THOMAS:
Go away! Mary protects me!

DANTE:
What are you talking about, you wuss?  It's me
Dante.

(Thomas goes to the door and opens
it gently. Dante bursts in,
grabbing Thomas's shoulders.)

DANTE: (Continued)
Boooooooo! Holy hell, man you're shaking.

THOMAS:
Leave me alone. I'm not myself today. You're not
supposed to be here.

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-TWENTY-SIX-65

DANTE:
Look Mammy's boy, it's bloody cold out in the
treefort. I need some tea.

THOMAS:
I thought you'd want black coffee. HEY IN THERE!

(Yelling close to Dante's ear)

DANTE:
Bug off man.

(Rubbing his head)
I'm going Irish today. Sure cure is good tea,
hot.  Coffee spins you out more. How goes the
battle?

THOMAS:
Mom's upstairs.  Dad is still here.  Not sure
what to do.

DANTE:
(Not quite sure, but attempting.)

We do the things that people do when dealing with
death.

THOMAS:
(Looking for approval)

I tried to sleep.

DANTE:
(Teasing)

Top of your list was it?

THOMAS:
(Defedning himself with the facts.)

Mom planned for the Kearney Funeral Home—wanted
to wait until morning.

DANTE:
That will be four more hours. Hell man, we have
to get Dad prepared for the wake tonight.

THOMAS:
Suddenly there's a we here is there. Screw you to
hell Dante. May all the Saints close their ears
if you ever come calling.

DANTE:
Give prudish priggery a rest.  Hell, you're wound
tighter than Phyllis Diller's face.

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-TWENTY-SIX-66

THOMAS:
Screw you Dante! Screw you. Fuck.  Brothers are
meant to be there for each other. Child of the
same Mother.  I wish it weren't true. I wish—

DANTE:
Let it out, it's healthy --

(The lights flicker.  There is a
SCREAM.)

THOMAS:
What was that? That was her.  I'll light a
candle, I'll boil some water.  Where's a candle,
anybody got a candle?

((He  continues to search, and finally holds up his bic
lighter)

DANTE:
Little bro calm down.

(The lights flicker again.  There's
another faint scream.)

(There is another scream.  Zane goes
to window  and looks out. He's 
terrified and uncertain at what he
sees.)

THOMAS:
She's here!!! She's here! Oh RollingStonesballs,
boil some water.  It's the banshee.

DANTE:
Our Celtic Fairy of death and change.  Holy Hell! 
It is her.  Thomas, she's coming this way.

(He takes the cross from the wall and holds it up)
There's no one left to take. There's  no one
here!

THOMAS:
Is it really her?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-SIX-67

The figure advances to the door, and  the door starts
to open. The boys look at the opening door.  Dante at
the front of it with his crucifix.  The figure enters
the house.  We discover it's Maura, holding a utility
flash light, and a ringing a bear-bell.  She's dressed
in a formal black dress with a light, white shawl,
wrapped over her head.

MAURA:
Put that away Dante, or I might start to think
you've found your faith again.  All the noise
we're making, we're liable to wake the dead.

(She jingles the bell. She's on edge but attempting to
stay in control.)

Although it's damn fun to make some noise.
(She jingles the bells again)

THOMAS:
How are you doing Mom?

MAURA:
Again with the questions!  Would you stop.

THOMAS:
It's okay, it's going to be okay.

MAURA:
Okay is it. Okay is it?  That's what you see is
it! That's what your grade skipping mind tells
you is it?  You traipse all the way across the
country, all the way to who knows where, and see
the wailing lady--

THOMAS:
--I didn't mean to frighten you.  I'm sorry I
left like that.

DANTE:
He was just doing something stupid before Grad.

MAURA:
No words from you little man from hell's fire. 
Appropriately named. Oh you hurt when you were
born.

DANTE:
What? —why am I  a target?

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-TWENTY-SIX-68

MAURA:
Blast you boy, you dare to ask?  You're like that
PNE game—where you wack the mole.  Don't stick
your head up! Whack! There it is.  That's why I
love you Dante. Little thorn that you are—you
keep sticking your head up. Forgive me Dante, but
here's the hand that says I'm sorry to you for
saying  you hurt when you were born. Take a good
look.  See this is the hand that stroked your
face at your birth, and rubbed your tummy when
you were sick.  Here's  the hand that was there
for you to see you off to school—this hand will
always be there for you. For all my children. One
day you're  holding a tiny, grasping, needing
child.  And then Clap!

(She claps her hands loudly.)
Hear that?  Magic!  You're holding a larger,
grasping needing child. I might read the
dictionary to match my words to your fancy
understanding. But my hands don't need words. 
They are  there for you.  I'll hold you forever,
forever my boys. I look into your eyes and wish
and wish.  I wonder of the story you will live,
the shadowy places you might go, the happiness
you might see and the people along your way.  I
hope you feel the touch of my hands on that
journey.  Even though you might think I fade away
like a forgotten echo.  Because each day from
your birth there's a little bit more letting go.
Its your part of the business boys, it's your
part. Live your own fables.  (Pause) But take a
good look at my foot too boys.  You see it boys? 
Fine because right now you both need a good kick
in the head.

DANTE:
Mom-

MAURA:
--I'm tired. Too tired to argue with my smart
son.  Don't waste your life Dante.  It's too
short. You see, it's gone as fast as this water
runs down the drain.

(To Thomas)
Blast you!   You could have stayed! You could
have stayed!

THOMAS:
I'm here. I'm here now.

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-TWENTY-SIX-69

MAURA:
Bless us all, so you are! Oh lord.

(She pauses.))
"I'll bring home the bread!"

DANTE:
What did you say Mom?

MAURA:
Last healthy words he spoke to me. Last words he
spoke. Oh Thomas why did you go Thomas? Thomas
it's all your fault.

(She drops her glass from the
shaking. It breaks.)

THOMAS:
Mom.

MAURA:
Ohh—the glass broke.  The glass broke. That's the
last one.  The last one.

DANTE:
Mom, they're cheap glasses.  Zellers  special.

MAURA:
You bought them for our Twenty-Fifth anniversary. 
Dante.

(She starts to laugh)
Oh boys. Boys.

(Dante gets a broom and starts to
sweep up the glass and the brothers
begin to help their Mom to the
table.)

MAURA: (Continued)
Thomas all is not well with my world.

(Tearful laughs)
I'm sorry you have to miss your graduation. My
Sean, my old Sean is dead. 

THOMAS:
I'm sorry Mom.

MAURA:
Sorry? Sorry, write something to say for the
funeral.

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-TWENTY-SIX-70

THOMAS:
Mom, I can't do anything for the funeral.  I just
can't

MAURA:
I can't. You'll do it. You're the one.  Write
something Thomas. Honour your father.  Honour
yourself.  I must get some rest. I must get some
rest.

SCENE : 27

(The Boy is seen on the hill
calling.)

BOY:
DADDDDY! DAD!

ECHO VOICE:
DADDYyyyyyDAD!

BOY:
WHERE AM I?

ECHO:
WHERE AM I , I, I, I, I??

BOY:
WHERE?

(From behind the boy, a
representation of the Banshee
appears to envelope the boy, and we
hear the HOWLING as we fade to
black and more rain.)

SCENE 28

Dante is alone in the living room.  His Father is in
the corner inside the coffin. The coffin is tilted
slightly so that Sean's body is visible to us.  As we
have heard earlier, his body has been entranced by the
Other World., and so is able to speak.

(Sean is known here as FATHER to
distinguish him now as "dead.")

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-71

DANTE:
(Speaking to his Father)

Well Dad, I guess you're glad that's over and
done with.  I'll see them again at maybe Thomas's
wedding, and a few more Christmas times-- How did
I get into this family?  Three brothers,  and one
lonely sister hiding in Nelson.  Glories gone,
all the adult I could become.

FATHER:
You can always tell a man by the shine of his
shoes.

DANTE:
Jesus, Did you speak? Oh Jesus, you're possessed
by the Little Ones aren't you.

FATHER:
Listening for one minute does more good than
talking for ten.

DANTE:
Holy Mother! You're talking but only saying those
damned clichés. you always thought we heard.

FATHER:
Write it down.  Remember to write it down.

DANTE:
Alright Dad. Here I Go.

(He gets a pen and starts writing notes, attaching them
to his dad.)

There. You can always tell a man by the shine of
his shoes.  Oh Dad, that's a good one, see I
wrote it down.

(The tearing of the paper wakes
Thomas  with a start. He sees what
Dante is doing.)

THOMAS:
What are you doing?  Leave Dad alone.

DANTE:
Mom asked me to change his suit. So I did. She
said it was about time he bought a new suit.

THOMAS:
She did not, you're crazy. What are these notes?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-EIGHT-72

DANTE:
All the wisdom of our Father to help guide him to
the next world.

THOMAS:
This is not right.

((He begins to remove the notes.  Dante is angered by
this.)

DANTE:
Touch the notes and I'll bash you upside your
brain Tommy.

THOMAS:
Screw you.

((He removes a note.)

FATHER:
Invictus!

DANTE:
(Grabbing the note.)

Invictus, I always liked that one.

THOMAS:
Don't insult Dad this way.

FATHER:
I am the captain of my soul.

DANTE:
Did you hear that?

THOMAS:
Hear what?

DANTE:
Meant only for me and my friend Jamiesons. I feel
so special world.

(He turns his attention back to Thomas.)
Blow against the wind bro.

(Looking at the paper)
Call yourself a writer.  You can't even write a
decent euology. My scribbled notes make a better
tribute than your constipated scrawl.  OOOOOOOOO

(He makes a gesture as if he's going to the bathroom.)

THOMAS:
Go to hell Dante!

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-73

(He lunges for Dante. Dante ducks
the punch, tripping Thomas onto his
back. Holding him there laughing.)

DANTE:
Shall we try the Mahoney Typewriter Torture?

(He begins to tap on Thomas's chest
and then dings his face at the
"end" of a sentence.)

THOMAS:
Let me up!

DANTE:
What are you going to do? Scream for Mommy! Shut
your face.

(He continues to type on Thomas.)

THOMAS:
What do you want! Leave me alone.

DANTE:
You know they brought the constitution home this
year.  I wonder if there's anything Trudeau put
in about torturing little brothers on the day
after their father dies, the day of their
graduation, and the day of the loss of  their
virginity.

THOMAS:
Go to hell.

(He spits in Dante's face)

(Dante is surprised. Lets him up, 
as Thomas gets up, he swings out at
Dante, backhanding him across the
eye.)

DANTE:
Holy hell. Shit!

(He begins to laugh.)

THOMAS:
What! Why are you laughing?

DANTE:
I didn't know you had it in you. A touch of happy
violence. You liked that didn't you?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-EIGHT-74

THOMAS:
I didn't like anything.

DANTE:
Sure you did. You reached your potential as a man
now bro. It's all happiness from here on in.

THOMAS:
The man with all the answers. Mr. Grad School.

FATHER:
Answers are like apples, pluck them before they
get rotten.

DANTE:
I dropped out of grad school. You don't seem
surprised.

THOMAS:
But dad was so proud of you at your university
grad.

FATHER:
Get a saleable skill.

DANTE:
He asked me why I didn't take something
practical. So feeling unblessed for life by Dad,I
signed on for grad school. It's not the right
timing, although since I quit, I've had all the
answers. I walked into the ocean and kept 
swimming, the sun was setting, and I was
floating.  Every answer I needed  came to me. 
Then I drowned feeling that power. 

FATHER:
Death is better than a kick in the head.

DANTE:
Hah, oh Dad. You've got to have that one.

THOMAS:
Who are talking to?

DANTE:
No one. Ghosts

FATHER:
The world is your oyster son.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-EIGHT-75

THOMAS:
I don't know what to say about Dad.

DANTE:
Study Archie Bunker and dose it up with Canadian
nicety and there's Dad. Look no further.

FATHER:
(Referring to "Hanoi" Jane time.)

Jane Fonda was a cow.

DANTE:
Maybe we should bury Dad in his deluxe recliner?

THOMAS:
I'll help you get his jacket back on Dante.

DANTE:
The notes stay.

THOMAS:
Sure--the notes stay.

(The boys put on their father's suit
jacket.)

DANTE:
Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I've
dreamed I've lived all my mistakes over and over
again. I'm always glad the dream ends and then
the terror of the great potential of the new day
overtakes me. Then I go to the can.

FATHER:
A stitch in time saves nine.

THOMAS:
So what do you do over there then?

DANTE:
I go running everyday. Occasionally, I peruse
those new personal adds. Out to the clubs--

THOMAS:
--Looking for anyone?

DANTE:
No, just someone to lick and like me.

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-76

THOMAS:
Man, I mean guy or girl? Don't be shocked
Dante—I'm naïve, not stupid.

DANTE:
Anything that moves. Lately. I search for work
too. Really, I read the classifieds. Then I go
for a run, and then I read.  I watch TV, I read
some more, then I go to sleep, and promise myself
that tomorrow I'll try harder.

FATHER:
(As the corpse)

I'm going to fix that leaky shower tomorrow.
Right after the morning news.

DANTE:
I go running everyday. Oh Jesus Dad, are you ever
going to shut up?

THOMAS:
You're saying Dad is talking to you right now.

DANTE:
You can't hear him?

THOMAS:
No.

DANTE:
It's because I never got to say a proper good-
bye. Dad, you're going to bloody haunt my head
forever?

FATHER:
Scattered mind is the playground of the devil.

DANTE:
Shut up Dad. Okay it was funny once, but it's
gone way past that now.

There's a knocking at the door, some muffled laughter. 
Thomas goes to answer discovering it is Zane and
Colleen calling.

ZANE:
(Calling from the door.)

Hello! Hello!  Who's the graduate?

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-77

Zane enters wearing a French Renaissance coat, purple
velour, with a walking cane. Colleen enters looking
stunning in her formal graduation gown

THOMAS:
You guys, what are you doing here?

COLLEEN:
First to express our sympathy for your loss, And--

ZANE:
(Turns his walking cane into long necked Trumpet and he
gives it a blast a few times)

Da Dah!  Ladies and Gentleman. Thomas Domangard
Mahoney, Graduate. Please step forward for your
diploma.

(Colleen brings the diploma down,
Thomas ignores her, and she puts
the diploma down on the "couch")

THOMAS:
Zane! Once we got back. I didn't think you'd ever
speak to me again.

ZANE:
I told you, I'm your friend. I heard about your
dad.  Got up early and baked your family some
Banana Bread.

DANTE:
What?  Is that the best you can do?  Don't you
know there are seven stages of grief and it's
your job as a friend to help us go through all of
them.

ZANE:
Uhm okay.  Harsh.  I didn't know.

(There is silence in the room.)
You know the banana bread; I made it with two
bananas. Less sugar that way.

 DANTE:
(Pushing Zane's good nature)

If we don't go through them, we might—Oh screw
it, slice me a piece.

ZANE:
Yeah sure, Thomas you got a knife—?

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-78

THOMAS:
(quickly)

--Don't insult my friend that way.

DANTE:
Joking little bro.

(To Zane)
I appreciate the gesture.

ZANE:
Thomas, dude it's okay, I understand. I got a
knife.

THOMAS:
I can't forgive him that easily.

COLLEEN:
Please don't fight, not now.

ZANE:
Here's your piece my friend. You too Dante.

DANTE:
Take it up with Colleen. She needed someone.

THOMAS:
Don't talk about her, don't say anything about
her.

DANTE:
What did I say?

ZANE:
Do you guys like the bread? It's an easy recipe.

THOMAS:
I need her too.

(To Colleen)
But you're leaving to Toronto in July.

DANTE:
All the more reason to forget about me and the
meeting of lips.

THOMAS:
Stop talking, shut the hell up!

ZANE:
Lip meeting? I'm confused.

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-EIGHT-79

DANTE:
Big news flash.

THOMAS:
There! You did it again.

ZANE:
Water off the duck man.

THOMAS:
Dante and Colleen kissed each other.

COLLEEN:
(To everyone, with attention to Zane.)

It mean't nothing. Really.

ZANE:
Oh.

(Pause as it sinks in)
Would you like some more banana bread?

THOMAS:
To hell with the banana bread!

(He throws the banana bread on the ground.)
Zane, sorry.

DANTE:
Srew your friends, what do they know?

ZANE:
Stop right now. Don't say another word.  No more
sorries.

(To Dante)
No more insults. I try to listen to what's in my
gut you know. Adopted son of Gretchen Growden--
Left aside and chosen again. Chosen, choice.
Choose peace, bro, both of you.

THOMAS:
I'm glad you're here. I thought once we got home--

DANTE:
--Babble, babble, babble, boil and trouble. What
the hell are you talking about?

THOMAS:
We ran into some trouble in Saskatoon.

DANTE:
Trouble?

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-80

THOMAS:
This guy—

ZANE:
It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I live
now, you too Thomas.

DANTE:
Bang on the nose. Don't think it all begins in
University because it sucks.  That's just a place
for old men to drop their pants and play with
their PhDs, while undergraduates wait to take
their next order.

THOMAS:
(Almost embarrassed at Dante)

Zane and Colleen, You shouldn't miss the party.

ZANE:
Wouldn't want to miss the chance to see a dead
man up close. 

(To the corpse)
Hi Mr. Mahoney, I brought you some roses.

DANTE:
Cool Zane. That must have cost you party money.

ZANE:
They're from Nadine's stage display. Done with
the use now anyway.

COLLEEN:
We brought Ladysmith High's grad to you.  Flowers
and all.

ZANE:
Step forward Thomas.  Colleen has a surprise for
you.

(Thomas steps forward and takes his diploma,
receiving air kisses from Zane. Dante claps)

COLLEEN:
(She tries to be celebrational but trails off)

Good people of Ladysmith for the outstanding
short story-- You won Thomas. Here, 98 percent.
They announced it at the...

(Thomas is surprised and steps
forward.  He accepts the award and
a kiss on the lips from Colleen.)

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-81

THOMAS:
Uh Thanks.

COLLEEN:
(Looking around, and for Thomas)

Roses. You wanted roses. You got them. You know,
I love you. 

THOMAS:
I-- Thanks for coming, both of you. I'm choked,
no really.

(He tears up.)

 COLLEEN:
Sorry about your dad too Dante.

DANTE:
The lady gives me a sorry. I leave all the ladies
sorry. 

FATHER:
Son, be a man son.

(Dante reacts to the voice.)

COLLEEN:
What's the matter with your face Dante?

DANTE:
Your boyfriend's hand connected with it.

COLLEEN:
(To Thomas)

You hit him?

ZANE:
Now you're fighting?

DANTE:
It's a complicated time.

COLLEEN:
Thomas, let's talk over here a minute.

(She takes him to a quieter corner.)
I know things are crazy, but I thought all about
you throughout the ceremony.

(She resolutely tells him the plan.)
Almost like we already made it happen. Maybe we
still can. The grad party, all of it.

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-82

DANTE:
(Taunting)

You haven't got the guts little bro to move on.

THOMAS:
Move on? Yours is the head that's haunted. Run
away now why don't you? Get drunk somewhere, get
high, Screw someone in an alley, and keep on
running. 

FATHER:
Dead men tell no tales.

DANTE:
Take your own advice Dad!

FATHER:
Giving advice does not mean it will be taken.

DANTE:
Dad. Holy hell--Yeah Thomas I like to run. An
escape, a mind turn-off. Pounding feet. Ten
clicks everyday. Everyday. I heard about Dad's
heart attack and went for a run.  It was raining--
wispy, thin rain, and I was running to the end of
the breakwater where there's quite a wind. I pass
this group of people. Ten or so. They're silent,
sad, I can't see why.  I look back, and see
someone tossing dirt or something into the water. 
I get to the lighthouse at the end and
turnaround. I feel the waves salt spray my knees.
The man is still there.  Bull Kelp bashes, Sea
Lions bark, Rain pours, Shirt-wet back, the
Olympic mountains ghost in the white-dark of the
day.  As I get closer to the man, I count my
breaths.  He's rooted himself. He's crying.  I
overhear someone yell to him from the shore,
"Your father's dead Steve. Leave him rest."  I
jog ten breaths closer to him and the man does
not move.  I'm one breath away, inches apart, 
and he sighs, and then we breathe together. And
I'm taken from this world. I'm there, my feet
still hit the ground, but somehow I'm in a more
real place. At that moment, I became something
other than Dante the grad-school dropout, I
became an element in this man saying Good-bye to
his father. 

(MORE)

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-83

DANTE: (Continued)
(Noticing how intrigued Colleen is, Dante delivers some
of this directly to her, seducing her.)

I like to think that when he remembers that day,
he'll remember the wind, the rain, the cold stone 
the sea lions, and he'll remember the lone
jogger. Not me, you see, but an element of
nature. Like life and death meeting.  I become
wind, rain, and ocean-- But hell, what do I know
what he was thinking? He'd just held the dust of
his father in his hands.

THOMAS:
You do now. There's no escape.

(Thomas is crying)

DANTE.
I know. Screw it. Colleen, I need--

FATHER:
--A faint heart never won fair maid--

THOMAS:
--You dare! Asshole! With Dad here, you cross me--

DANTE:
Damn the Irish ghost. Leave at once.  You know he
kinda looks like you in that pose Thomas. Except
for those tears of yours. He looks kinda happy.

FATHER:
Happy is as happy does.

DANTE:
But he's probably thinking ooh boy my littlest
son will never become a man.

FATHER:
Practice on a carrot.

THOMAS:
You are sick man. I said leave it.

DANTE:
Gonna hit me again little bro? Leaving it.
Leaving it all. Leaving him soon.  I will miss
him. Here's to you Dad.

(MORE)

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-84

DANTE: (Continued)
(He raises his glass and swigs, he looks at the corpse
of his father.)

Here's to our Dad. You'll like this one Thomas.
Here's to how he taught us all to swim.

 FATHER:
If you're ever in trouble just float on your
back.

COLLEEN:
(Touching his face.)

It's allright Thomas, maybe tomorrow--

THOMAS:
--You smell of my brother.

ZANE:
She's chosen you dude. Accept the love man.

THOMAS:
Love! Happy Graduation. Happy Birthday to me in a
week.  Hide and seek.  One, Two, Three— Help me
someone. Hello. Anyone? What do I care?  My dad
is dead.  

MAURA:
(Calling  from offstage.)

What's that noise?  What am I hearing said in my
house?

THOMAS:
Mommy!!  She's awake! She's always awake.  She
knows everything. I've got to get away. 

MAURA:
(Coming down.)

Blast you, what's the noise?  Boys, Thomas,
what's the matter?

THOMAS:
Mom, Dad is dead.

MAURA:
Thomas? Thomas!

DANTE:
Mom, we thought you were asleep.

MAURA:
Ach no, I was talking with Father Theo.

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-85

THOMAS:
No!! Not the Priest! She called the priest.

(There is a wailing howl from
outside.)

ZANE:
The Banshee is back.  She's coming for more.

Thomas runs in fear and hides, locking  himself in a
small storage cupboard.

MAURA:
Blast you Zane, don't go makin trouble.  What's
wrong with Thomas? Of course I called the Priest.
Are you all deaf? What's wrong with you son?

COLLEEN:
(Calling to him.)

Thomas, I have to leave in less than week!!
Please talk to him.

DANTE:
The baby is just asking his age.

MAURA:
That's all you can say? Oh Sean, they got no
respect. What's this? 

(Noticing the notes)
Are you mocking him?

SEAN:
The joke's on them.

MAURA:
Aye that it is boyo.  He brought the bread. He
taught you to swim.  He was a good man. And you
mock him with your reckless dishonour? 

(To Zane and Colleen, to clear them away.)
Zane, son, Colleen, shouldn't you be celebrating'
for graduation.

ZANE:
Yes, Mrs. Mahoney. I'm sorry for your loss. I
brought some banana bread. 

THOMAS:
Mom are you allright?

Printed Sept 4th 2008--TAMZ, by DM, Print 17



-TWENTY-EIGHT-86

MAURA:
You're a dear one to be always asking that
question even now. Come out, if you want to talk,
like a human being.

THOMAS:
It's okay, it's going to be okay. Dad's gone, but--

MAURA:
--He's on the sauce? Who was it? You Dante?  I
told you no drink. Or was it Sadie?  Some oldest
sister she is.  Were the little people teasing
you again?

THOMAS:
I haven't talked to the little people since I was
seven Mom.

MAURA:
Well maybe you should. Do yah some good. Now get
out here, Thomas You've got a job to do. Have you
written it yet?

THOMAS:
NO! Not yet. I can't, won't, shant, no, no.

MAURA:
Thomas, come out of the box I can't keep talking
like this.

THOMAS:
Nope. I'm never getting out of this box.

MAURA:
Right only one thing to do.  Dante, Zane.  Grab
the sides. If the snake won't come to St.
Patrick, then St. Patrick must go to snake.  Move
it out. This boy is going to the priest.

They all struggle out the door with Thomas inside the
Blanket Box/Hope Chest.

FATHER:
Don't leave all the lights on. Money doesn't grow
on trees.

(Lights OUT/Lights transition.)

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-TWENTY-EIGHT-87

SCENE: 29

Dante and Zane with  Colleen arrive  into the church
carrying the cupboard that carries Thomas.  Thomas is
moaning.  Maura follows in behind calling to them. 

MAURA
Fetch Father Theo,  Dante.

(She leans towards the cupboard. Dante goes to get
Father Theo.)

Thomas, we're here.

THOMAS:
Where is here? That's what I want to know.

ZANE:
Riddles man, riddles man.

MAURA:
Hush now smoking lad, this is God's house. 

(She turns back to the cupboard.))
Thomas you're at the church.  Father Theo will
talk with you.

THOMAS:
Church.  Blessed be for me. Blessed be. I won't
talk with him. I told you. Leave me alone.

(Father Theo enters and hears this.
In keeping with our Identity theme,
I'd suggest the character be French
Canadian.)

FATHER THEO
Hello Thomas.

(Pause and no answer.)
Do you like the box?

THOMAS:
Yes. Yes I do.

DANTE:
Mom, this is crap. Why don't we just drag him
out.

FATHER THEO:
(To Dante and company)

When he is ready, he will emerge. Patience.
(To Thomas)

It's a comfort to you is it?

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-TWENTY-NINE-88

THOMAS:
I like the box, Father. It's quiet. It's dark.

FATHER THEO:
I might know something here Thomas

THOMAS:
Damn rights Father, is that so?

MAURA:
Mind your manners son. This is a priest you're
talking with.  He's an educated man, not like
your brother.

DANTE:
Mom, I've a degree.

MAURA:
Oh, he has a degree, does he! Listen to the
Professor.

FATHER THEO:
Perhaps it would be best if you waited in the
vestment room.

MAURA:
Yes good idea Dante, Zane, Colleen—clear out!
This is our part of the business.

FATHER THEO:
You too Maura.

(He gestures for them all to back away. All of them
begin to the back area of the church.)

MAURA:
I'll not be leaving my youngest born without me
in his hour of need.

FATHER THEO:
Take care of your own self Maura. Put the kettle
on, have some tea.

MAURA:
Bless you Father I tank I will. A cup of the
black stuff is just what I need.

(She goes to exit)

FATHER THEO:
I understand.

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-TWENTY-NINE-89

DANTE:
Do we half to go too? I can't wait to see how
you're going to get him out of the trunk.

THOMAS:
I'm not coming out. Tell them all Mom.

FATHER THEO:
Your mother has gone to get tea Thomas.  The rest
of you may stay, but be quiet.  That allright
with you Thomas?

THOMAS:
Suit fits wear it.

FATHER THEO:
Pardon?

DANTE:
Something Dad use to say. It means it suits him.

(Father Theo gestures him to be
quiet. Dante realizes his mistake.)

DANTE: (Continued)
We'll be quiet, we promise.

FATHER THEO:
Your mother is asking you to say a few words at
the funeral. It's not customary, but perhaps--

THOMAS:
I told her I wouldn't.

MAURA:
(Peaking around the corner)

You'll do as your bloody well told Thomas.

COLLEEN:
Thomas, you can do it.

THOMAS:
Leave me alone. Shut up.

MAURA:
Don't you say shut-up to your mother.

DANTE:
Yeah, smarten up.

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-TWENTY-NINE-90

COLLEEN:
Show some respect.

FATHER THEO:
They're being quiet Thomas. They all are. 
Pretend it's just you and me talking.  We're
alone now Thomas, just you, and the heavenly
Father makes three.

THOMAS:
A fine trinity.

FATHER THEO:
Ahh you were always a bright lad for catechism. 
I'm sure you are bright enough to write a few
words about your father to say as final blessing
from your family.

THOMAS:
I won't.

FATHER THEO:
I see. Well it was good talking with you Thomas.

(Pause, silence.)

THOMAS:
Hello?

FATHER THEO:
I'm here. Are you ready to live in the world?

(Mother re-enters with tea. She
beelines to Thomas.)

MAURA:
I've got some tea for you too Thomas.  Quick
steeped just the way you like it.

THOMAS:
Please stop fussing about me.

FATHER THEO:
(Annoyed at the interuption with Thomas.)

Yes Maura, do be quiet.

DANTE:
Hey Father, watch who you are talking to.

FATHER THEO:
I beg your pardon Mrs. Mahoney.

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-TWENTY-NINE-91

THOMAS:
See this is it. My world is all gone.  How can I
write about what I don't understand? What do you
really want from me Father?

FATHER THEO:
To help you—

THOMAS:
--Why did you become a priest Father?

FATHER THEO:
What does that have to with—

THOMAS:
Everything Father. Can you answer my question?

FATHER THEO:
Divine inspiration.

THOMAS:
God told you to become a priest.

FATHER THEO:
Uh, yes, yes, I felt I had a calling.

THOMAS:
How did he call you Father?

FATHER THEO:
What do you mean?

THOMAS:
I mean did he call you collect, did he give you a
dream, was there a burning bush, did you have a
conversion on a ferry ride?

FATHER THEO:
It was a feeling Thomas.  Why the questions
Thomas?

THOMAS:
I really want to know. Do they take you aback?

FATHER THEO:
Are they supposed to?

THOMAS:
Can you answer my question?

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-TWENTY-NINE-92

FATHER THEO:
What was the question?

THOMAS:
You forgot my question?

FATHER THEO:
Yes.

THOMAS:
So did I. That's a relief.

FATHER THEO:
What's a relief?

THOMAS:
To forget my question. At least that's one I
don't need to worry about.

MAURA:
Stop playing games Thomas—listen to the priest.

THOMAS:
Why? I'm just a test for him. If he can help me,
he can verify his life has meaning.

(Zane has been meditating quietly)

ZANE:
That's your clue Thomas.

FATHER THEO:
I know this is a difficult time.

DANTE:
Mom this isn't working. You just don't know how
to deal with him. Let me turn the hose on him--

MAURA:
--I know what I know.  That's all I know or need
to know. Knowing isn't everything.  Believing is
everything.  I have my faith. This will all work
out.  Father Theo will help.  I do thoroughly
believe that. What shall we do Father?

FATHER THEO:
I was going to suggest prayer, but perhaps a
whiskey might help.

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-TWENTY-NINE-93

MAURA:
Saints be blind, dumb and deaf. You're joking to
me at a time like this.

ZANE:
Dude, I mean Mrs. Mahoney, you've got the answer.

(Thomas says his next line overtop
of Dante. Moves quickly.)

DANTE:
(To Zane)

Be quiet Stonehedge. You don't know anything.

THOMAS:
(He talks overtop of Dante)

Apples were the world on the tree. Gone. Back
soon. Soon. Gone.

ZANE:
Your mom talked about belief.  I know my man
Thomas is called Thomas for a reason.  Heard the
story a hundred times--Thomas the doubter. I
swear on the earth that he has plenty of reason
to doubt. But what this is all about is belief.

MAURA:
The lad is talking sense.  Why can't you be more
like him?

DANTE:
Stop making comparisons. You always used me as a
comparison.  Telling me to be more like Thomas. 
Be smart like Thomas. I'm smart Mom. I'm my own
person.

MAURA:
Can't you think about how I feel?

THOMAS:
Feelingsssssssssss oh wwwhoooah whoahh
feeeeeelings.

(THOMAS continues to sing
throughout.)

DANTE:
He's singing, now you have him singing!

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-TWENTY-NINE-94

FATHER THEO:
Do you really make comparisons? That's not a good
idea.

MAURA:
Who asked your opinion?

FATHER THEO:
Well I'd say you did.

MAURA:
Your always lording it over Father.  You even
talked about the cleanliness of my home From the
altar no less!

COLLEEN:
Your home is quite neat.

MAURA:
What would you know little rich girl?

COLLEEN:
My family is not rich.

MAURA:
Dollar for dollar you aren't. All of it lost
though bottle for bottle for that no-good father
of yours.

COLLEEN:
Well so you know Mrs. Mahoney?

MAURA:
Aye so I do, so don't go putting on airs—

COLLEEN:
I wasn't doing anything—

MAURA:
--No backtalk either, I've had enough of your
sing-songy voice.

COLLEEN:
What? Thomas, say something.

THOMAS:
Say what, you want to screw my brother.

MAURA:
Watch your mouth Thomas.

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-TWENTY-NINE-95

COLLEEN:
You're all mad.

THOMAS:
So is it true, do you—?

COLLEEN:
Yes, no, I mean I wanted to—

MAURA:
--Shameless little trapper.

THOMAS:
Colleen, do you?

COLLEEN:
Yes, so, so I did. Thomas. Grow up! You're nuts.

(Thomas steps out.  Colleen and Zane
are relieved.  Dante looks for
reactions from Maura and Father
Theo. Maura is stoic. Father Theo
is surprised but NOT shocked.)

THOMAS:
I am not nuts.

(He's naked. He may walk to each
person and gives each of them a
rose.)

MAURA:
We should pray.

(No one moves really. Thomas stands
alone.)

FATHER THEO:
So we shall.

(Father Theo gathers to begin
prayer.)

MAURA:
Join me now Thomas.

DANTE:
Is that all you're going to say him? After all
he's done?

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-TWENTY-NINE-96

THOMAS:
I'm content.

DANTE:
Get your clothes on you little jerk.

(Thomas ignores Dante. Dante takes a
jar of holy water and throws it at
Thomas.)

DANTE: (Continued)
Now get dressed. No need for anyone to see your
shortcomings. Devil alive, you stupid git.

FATHER THEO:
(To Dante)

Get out of the church. Do you know what you have
done?

DANTE:
Yes, I know.

FATHER THEO:
Do you have anything to say for yourself?  Holy
water thrown this way. It is an offense.

MAURA:
Aye Father, tis. Out with it lad.

DANTE:
I'm sorry Mom-- about the water.

(Pause.)
But he looked thirsty.

MAURA:
What!! What boy, I'm beside myself. See me over
there.  I'm beside myself.

DANTE:
Christ I swore.  Oh shit, I did it again. Damn,
oh what the hell, I apologize.

(Maura walks over to Dante and cuffs
his head.)

MAURA:
Now, I need to pray. Let's all pray. Dante join
me now.

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-TWENTY-NINE-97

DANTE:
Those are your caring hands Mom? Apologize to me.
I never got to say good-bye.

FATHER THEO:
Son, you're angry—

MAURA:
I'll do nothing of the sort. Get down on your
knees and pray.

FATHER THEO:
Pray or leave.

(There is silence. Then Thomas laughs.)

MAURA:
Stop laughing in the church.

THOMAS:
Why not, its damn funny? My brother has to out
crisis me. Competitive jerk.

DANTE:
I'm not going to pray.

FATHER THEO:
Where's your faith son?

DANTE:
I'm not your son. My name is Dante.  Take your
church faith Theo.  My father's funeral is in two
days. That's the last time you'll see me in this
house.

MAURA:
Bite your tongue and bleed boy. How can you do
this to me?

FATHER THEO:
What I hear you saying Mrs. Mahoney, and if
you'll calm down--

MAURA:
Don't try that counselling malarkey on me Father. 
Save it for the rest of those lot drinking in The
Pen every night.  You're just as angry as I am,
be a man and show it.

FATHER THEO:
I am a man.

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-TWENTY-NINE-98

ZANE:
May I try Father Theo?

(Father Theo nods)
Mrs. Mahoney's son is questioning the core of her
beliefs just after the death of her main squeeze
of forty years.  This thought scares the jeeebers
out of her, and she sees her son Dante only in
the darkest light of betrayal while her youngest
stands on the edge of the same abyss. 

(Pause.)
Am I right Mrs. Mahoney?

MAURA:
Yes. That about sums up the stew.

ZANE:
Dante, you should apologize.

THOMAS:
What did you put in that banana bread Zane?

COLLEEN:
Dante, please apologize and join your brother in
prayer. You owe it to him.

DANTE:
I don't owe him anything. I owe my rent. I owe my
student loans.  I owe my phone bill.  I owe
Michael Zamboni for spitting on me in the eighth
grade.  I owe the Lucky dollar for the caramels I
stole at lunch on a dare.  I owe the laundry mat
24 quarters for all the times I cheated and got
extra dryer time.  I owe your coats pockets Mom
all the spare change I took because you and Dad
were too cheap to give us an allowance. But I owe
my brother nothing.

FATHER THEO:
Is this a confession?

COLLEEN:
You!

DANTE:
You what? You kissed me. You kissed me. You
wanted more, didn't you?

(He kisses her again. Colleen slaps
him across the face. She leaves the
church in a hurry.)

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-TWENTY-NINE-99

ZANE:
Ouch!  Wouldn't you agree Father?

FATHER THEO:
Yes, ouch. I'd agree with that.

MAURA:
Oh Lord. Let this go.  Please forgive my youngest
sons and their friends. I give you up Dante. If
the church you were raised in means nothing to
you and your mind is made up, so be it.  You have
your father's stubborness. I'm sorry you missed
your moment. It happened fast. I heard his last
breath, "My best to the kids."  You see, you're
free. You have my sorrows and my blessings too.
It's your part of the business.

DANTE:
Right. Thank you Mom. Good. I think I will pray 
now Thomas.

MAURA:
Aye good.

THOMAS:
I don't want to pray.

MAURA:
Thomas, see what you're doing to your family. 
You've made it out here, now just do a good Our
Father and we'll be done with it.

THOMAS:
(Kneeling down he starts.)

I can't remember the words.

MAURA:
Don't be a foolin' fairy lad, just say it.

THOMAS:
I honestly don't know the words.

FATHER THEO:
Yes, well, perhaps if you just spoke outloud to
God.

THOMAS:
You've heard from me before God, please tell me. 
What shall I do?

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-TWENTY-NINE-100

ZANE:
Good Thomas. Turn around and face it.

MAURA:
Don't interrupt.

(They begin to pray the Our Father.)

THOMAS:
Zane, that's it. You're right. You're right. I've
got to face this head on, everything head on.

SCENE: 30

(Thomas arrives to Colleen's house,
shivering and cold wet. Thomas goes
over to Colleen)

THOMAS: (Continued)
You're not surprised to see me?

COLLEEN:
Yes, I am. For so many reasons.

THOMAS:
Tell me again.

COLLEEN:
That I love you?

THOMAS:
Yes.

COLLEEN:
Yes, I do.

THOMAS:
Oh Colleen, why! Hell forget that--I love you too--
okay? It hurts. 

COLLEEN:
So much, I know.

(Thomas goes to Colleen and hugs her
deeply and kisses her on the lips)

THOMAS:
Feels good now.

COLLEEN:
Like truth.

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-THIRTY-101

THOMAS:
Your dad?

COLLEEN:
Forget about him.  I tell you Thomas, we don't
have much time. In four days I'm working in
Toronto's Yorktown Hotel, then over to Queens...

THOMAS:
That's what you want to do?

COLLEEN:
Yes, and my dad wants it. Okay, he's paying. I
really want it, maybe not right away, I'd rather
spend more time with you.

THOMAS:
Could we be--? Do we have to go our separate
ways? I doubt--

COLLEEN:
--No matter what happens, I know we're always
inside each other.

(pause)
I hope. But why spoil now? 

 THOMAS:
--Colleen I--

COLLEEN:
Sssh, Thomas you try to see to much of it all at 
once.  Just this moment.

(She kisses him.)

Would you like an apple, late winterfall?

THOMAS:
How did you know?

COLLEEN:
I felt your craving. I don't know why.  Yes, here
no—Wait, let's do the ritual.  Tada! The apple.

(She puts it in her mouth)

THOMAS:
We haven't done this since we were eleven.

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-THIRTY-102

COLLEEN:
(Removing apple)

Almost seven years ago, You never forget.  It's
part of who we are

(She waits)
Tinker,  Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

THOMAS:
Doctor, Lawyer, Chief

BOTH:
Who are we going to be? Old and wise and getting
the prize.

(They place the Apple carefully
between their mouths  and begin to
bite it and eventually the apple
falls to the floor, and they kiss. 
They suspend themselves in the kiss
The Gully Monster invades the
scene.  She tosses the box of
apples to floor and they roll She
has the Boy chained to her.)

THOMAS:
That's not part of the ritual.

COLLEEN:
It always was for me.

THOMAS:
Me too.

GULLY MONSTER:
Summoned here by the ritual.  Watch and learn
your future.

BOY:
I won't look.

GULLY MONSTER:
You'll have no choice boy.

(She pulls on the chain and yanks
him hard. The boy gasps for air.)

COLLEEN:
We've thought about this so many times before,
haven't you?

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-THIRTY-103

THOMAS:
Sure.  Colleen I really want to do this, I mean
all the way.

(Checking)
Yahp, I mean, nope, okay--

COLLEEN:
(Thinking he's still on about Dante)

Oh—I thought--But it's just jitters.

(Colleen's father  stomps in from
the back  entrance and is shocked
to see them.)

JAMES:
He'll be feeling more than jitters.

COLLEEN:
Dad, daddy. I didn't hear you come in.

JAMES:
Shut-up girl.

(To Thomas)
I didn't think you'd have the guts to set foot in
here again.

THOMAS:
I found some Sir.

JAMES:
What?  You needed a piece of her did you before
she goes?  A little piece of slutass lad? I'll
give you a piece Tommy.

COLLEEN:
Dad, no leave him alone.

JAMES:
Shut-up.

(He swings at stumbles and hits Colleen)

THOMAS:
Leave Colleen alone Mr. Avery.

JAMES:
I didn't mean to hit you.

THOMAS:
Sir, Mr. Avery your head is bleeding.

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-THIRTY-104

JAMES:
Kid, if just you stand there I'll teach you to
defy me.

(Thomas stands steady, waiting for
James to advance.)

JAMES: (Continued)
Challenge me will you?

(He walks towards Thomas. Thomas
doesn't move. James Avery comes
nose to nose with Thomas.)

THOMAS:
Mr. Avery you are bleeding.

JAMES:
Leave!

(He pauses for micro-moment.)
Move!

(Thomas doen't move.  James stands
at him, sneering as he backs away
ready to give Thomas a backhand. 
Thomas still doesn't move)

COLLEEN:
Thomas, no! Please Move.

(Thomas still doesn't move.)

JAMES:
Stay out of this Colleen.

(He takes Colleen by the hand and
forces her to move.)

JAMES: (Continued)
Go to your room. Now!

THOMAS:
Leave her alone.

(Thomas steps in between the path of
James and Colleen and doesn't move.)

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-THIRTY-105

JAMES:
(Starting to laugh, puts his arm around Thomas and
squeezes his shoulders. He takes Thomas's arm and
places behind his back.)

Trying to earn a medal boy? Now go.
(He collapses into the couch.)

THOMAS:
You're bleeding Sir.

COLLEEN:
Let him bleed.

JAMES:
What was that? You'd let me lie here, you
ungrateful girl.

COLLEEN:
This ends now. I'll call the cops and this time
I'll do everything to make sure charges are
pressed.

(He struggles up.)

JAMES:
Yes, well, I guess I did hit you. Oh damn, I'm
your father Colleen. I want what's best for me. I
mean you, you, you I mean. YOU!  God damn it to
hell. My own daughter. Will you forgive me?

COLLEEN:
Forgiveness?

JAMES:
Bitch, just like your mother.

THOMAS:
Mr. Avery, you don't mean to call Colleen that.

(Thomas pushes Mr. Avery down.)

(James and Thomas stay almost
motionless staring at each other.)

JAMES:
(Admitting to Thomas.)

You're right. 

COLLEEN:
Your words. God I hate them. Silence that's all.

(MORE)

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-THIRTY-106

COLLEEN: (Continued)
Pure.  We could share that moment. No words, no
care for losing meaning. Just silence.

JAMES:
Colleen, I'm sorry.

(Pause, he sits down)
Let's enjoy the silence.

COLLEEN:
I don't believe you.

JAMES:
Go Thomas.

THOMAS:
I'm staying Sir.

COLLEEN:
Am I supposed to believe anything you say?

JAMES:
Believe me if you want.

THOMAS:
Mr. Avery, Sir?

COLLEEN:
He's out.

THOMAS:
He looks peaceful that way.

COLLEEN:
He'll sleep till lunch and then he'll be really
nice to me.

GULLY MONSTER:
I am the darkness boy. See inside yourself.

THOMAS:
(Breathing out.)

Holy crap. I stood there. Did you see that?  Oh
man, okay, we have to press charges against him.
How do we do that? Call the cops? I'm your
witness. We should write down everything that's
happened--

COLLEEN:
--Thomas, it's my fight now.

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-THIRTY-107

(Thomas nods sits on the chair.)

GULLY MONSTER:
There it is. He passed! He passed!

BOY:
Will you let me go?

THOMAS:
Yeah, but I'm there if you need me.

(Remembering, revved up.)
Colleen, we can still--

COLLEEN:
Yes. Soon I hope. Thomas, I am filled with—

GULLY MONSTER:
--Rage.  Come boy, back to the otherworld beyond
the veil.

(They exit. The phone rings.)

(Thomas exits. Lights/Scene
transitions from the last.)

SCENE: 31

(The boy comes running beyond the
forest followed by the Gully
Monster.)

BOY:
You tell me lies about the world.

GULLY MONSTER:
I reflect the truth.

(Catching the boy with her verse.)
"Come away, O human child! To the waters and the
wild, With a faery, hand in hand, For the world's
more full of weeping than you can understand."

BOY:
Did you make that up?

GULLY MONSTER:
Someone else. But you see it speaks to you, your
place is here.

(The Boy comes to her.)

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-THIRTY-ONE-108

GRACE:
The boy will not last here in the otherworld. 
His place is to be part of Thomas the man.

GULLY MONSTER:
I can't do that. His smile.  We're learning to
smile and laugh. His laughter is innocence
itself.

GRACE:
You will corrupt the boy.

GULLY MONSTER:
I'm not that type of monster.  I just want to
hear his laugh and have him write poetry.  Why
can't I write poetry?

GRACE:
Your unique existence is your poetry.

GULLY MONSTER:
But why can't I laugh anymore? I want more from
this life. I want some fun. Come boy, laugh for
me.  

(She exits with the boy.)

GRACE:
(Calling to her.)

Your time is disappearing Mistress.  Please, you
know that. Let the boy go.  There's no telling
what will happen as he comes of age. It might be
too late for his return. The wheel is turning.

SCENE: 32

COLLAGE OF SCENES which is one of Thomas's Story.

NEWS MEDIA FLASH:
This just in, A man size penis has been spotted
in Paris, London, and on the Great wall of China.

THOMAS:
The orgy of experience.

ZANE:
A hush came over the crowd.

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-THIRTY-TWO-109

(Barking Dogs are heard)

DANTE:
Quick in here.

(They enter a place that is some kind of performance
club)

COLLEEN:
See, these are my breasts.  Just like chocolate
cake--

THOMAS:
Colleen is that you?

COLLEEN:
Thomas, what are you…it's an early rehearsal,
call me Candy.

THOMAS:
What are doing here?

COLLEEN:
I ran away from home.

THOMAS:
And you're a stripper?

COLLEEN:
Performance art.

(Dogs Barking. Middle of a Forest)

THOMAS:
How did we get here?

DANTE:
There's a whole crowd of people coming Zane: They
must have read the  add.

NEWSPAPER GUY:
Penis Lost, hardly been used, if found call
Thomas.

THOMAS:
You placed an add!!

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-THIRTY-TWO-110

(Dogs barking getting louder)

REPORTERS:
That's the girl! Miss, is it true your boyfriend
lost his penis?

REPORTER 2:
Did you cut it off?

REPORTER 3:
Is his penis being held hostage by Lesbian re-
education separatists?

REPORTER 4:
Are you a Lesbian?

REPORTER 1:
Why are you in a tree? Is the penis part of some
Greenpeace protest?

JOHN:
(Colleen's Father)

Where is he?  He turned my daughter against me.
I'll kneecap him

COLLEEN:
My Dad has got a gun.

ZANE:
Wow, my dream is so real.

COLLEEN:
He's got a gun Thomas!

SCENE: 33

(Gradually the lights rise on Thomas 
asleep on the porch  swing.  His
Mother is waking him up.  He looks
around, terrified, and realizes
he's still back home.)

THOMAS:
Jesus, damn.  Who's there?

MAURA:
It's only me Thomas.  No need to swear at your
mother.

THOMAS:
Oh Mom. You couldn't sleep?

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-THIRTY-THREE-111

MAURA:
No—I couldn't. Such a housefull these last few
days.  Well the boyo is finally finishing
something. Tomorrow, he's in the ground

 THOMAS:
Yes he is at that.

(She smiles a bit. He searches for
her reaction.)

MAURA:
You were out till all hours Thomas. Bad dreams
keeping you awake?

THOMAS:
Yeah.

MAURA
Well good. It'd be unnatural if you weren't.  You
shouldn't worry though. He's going to a  better
place.

THOMAS:
Hmm.

MAURA:
Ock! There you go—living up to your name.  You'll
not have a faith be your crutch in your life.
Give you proof of the better place.

THOMAS:
Mom, do you really believe it?

MAURA:
Believe what?

THOMAS:
All of it I guess. That God's son walked the
earth, that--

MAURA:
Stop it will yah stop?  It's not the right time.
Talk to the priest next week.

THOMAS:
Sssh you'll wake the house up Mom. I want to talk
to you Mom.

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-THIRTY-THREE-112

MAURA:
All right what do you want to talk about?  Let me
get my Anne Landers encyclopedia.

THOMAS:
No Mom. Let's you and I talk.

MAURA:
I'll say what I think if you dare me Thomas, so
best leave it alone.

THOMAS:
Why'd you love Dad?

MAURA:
What kind of question is that? I'm going to bed.

THOMAS:
Mom—he's dead.

MAURA:
Well you dared me boyo. Thomas, I loved your
father because I did.  Don't ask these roses to
explain their beauty.

THOMAS:
Mom, I don't mean to upset you, I really want to
know. It's a naïve question not meant to offend. 
But you guys would fight and gripe at each other,
and sometimes he'd go away on long drives, and
he'd put you down in subtle ways, I mean did you
ever think you could go away and study and  do
something else when we all became older?

MAURA:
Where do I begin?!

THOMAS:
I don't mean to--

MAURA
Thomas, I loved, love, the word is love-- Dad,
your father, my old Sean, because the world is--
was--less lonely with him.

THOMAS:
Sometimes that was hard to tell.

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-THIRTY-THREE-113

MAURA
You're my son and you think you know something of
us.  Well, well, there's a place that two people,
when they know each other, when they love each
other,  a place that no one else knows but them.

THOMAS:
That's a place I'd like to know.

(Pause))
How'd you meet?

MAURA:
Oh well, we met by me pushing him down into the
mud.  Little stinker made a whip about my hair.

THOMAS:
Really? How old were you?

MAURA:
Nine maybe, he was two years older.  It wasn't
love at first site. Surprised me though by coming
back ten years  later.  Here he was  now.  A hard
worker from  Canada, got his journeyman ticket
for the railway. And he wanted to take me away. 
So-- I  did.  

THOMAS:
It's a big country Mom isn't it.

MAURA:
You'd know that  now wouldn't you.  Too pretty,
too stupid and not old enough to have grudges. 
That was a fine trip.  We had no money for meals
until Toronto. But—oh well—we  were happy just
the same.

THOMAS:
And now?

MAURA:
I'm for Ireland Thomas day after the funeral.

THOMAS
You're really leaving everyone behind.

MAURA:
You're the boyo now Thomas, you don't need me.

THOMAS:
Mom, I'm afraid.

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-THIRTY-THREE-114

MAURA:
Well stop it would you!  Life's too short.  So
why bother wasting it with careless, fearful
nonsense-- There's no easy way to say this, so
I'll just say it outloud.  Son, I found your
journal this morning.  I read about that dream
story you had.

THOMAS:
What one was that?

MAURA:
About your mother finding your penis in her
favourite teacup

THOMAS:
Mom!  Mom, this is unbelievable, you shouldn't
have read that.

MAURA
You're right! I wish I hadn't, but I wanted to
see if you'd written on your dad. But you had to
go writing  stories like that at a time like
this. You'll not be speaking at the service
today. You've got nothing proper to say.

THOMAS:
First you tell me you to, now you say no, I--

MAURA:
I thought about keeping this all to myself. I
really did. But I've my own life to lead. This is 
your lot in life.  It's the only way!  So  says
your body to me.

THOMAS:
You talked with it?

MAURA:
Aye, that I did. I have dreams too.  Strange
mysteries death brings.  I had a good long talk
with your penis. In Gaelic of course.  Oh he told
me that unicorns are not all gone. Damn fool I
was for believing they were.  A right good fellow
to tell me that bit of truth.  His orders were to
honour your father.  Understand the man he helped
you become. Those were the orders.  But you're
failing. I know you can say something.

THOMAS:
I won't be there Mom.

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-THIRTY-THREE-115

MAURA:
Oh Thomas, the lord has taken your Father. Be a
man now, it's the way of the world.

THOMAS:
"Like as the waves make towards the pebbled
shore, So do our minutes hasten to their end."

MAURA:
That's good, write that down, use it for the
family words.

THOMAS:
It's Shakespeare mom.

MAURA:
Well he knew something didn't he.

(Looking away distractedly)
Best get a pot on.

(Maura exits. Thomas stands there and then finds the
nearest scrap of paper and starts to write as the
lights fade.)

SCENE: 34

The Funeral. In the formal setting of the small local
Catholic Church. Father Theo is standing as the
gathered communicants are singing the last lines of
the Prayer of St. Francis. Thomas is seen ghosting
near the back. We imagine all the the attendees.

EVERYONE:
God, Make me a channel of your peace, Where there
is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury
pardon; Where there is doubt, faith--

(Thomas enters through the centre
and stands at the front of the
church. The music trails off.)

FATHER THEO:
The final blessing moment has passed.

THOMAS:
I have something to say.

MAURA:
Yes, please let him speak.

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-THIRTY-FOUR-116

FATHER THEO:
As the youngest son, you may speak.

THOMAS:
Good Afternoon. My name is Thomas.  I had been
asked by  my mother to say a few words at the
funeral as a final blessing from his family. Mom?

(He looks over to her.)
I met many of you and talked with you about my
father yesterday.  Like us all he had many hats. 
Father, Husband, Worker, Town politician,
Gardener, Swimmer.  He has died before I reach
eighteen years.  I've wanted so much to grieve
for my father.  I guess I did.  I want so much to
tell on how much and why I love my father.  I
guess I could.  But when it comes down to it,
here and now, I search for words of certainty. 
All I know for certain is I hardly knew you Dad. 
Roof, shelter, duty fulfilled and then you were
somewhere over there-dreaming your own dreams. 
Or just watching TV.  I'm sorry you and I will
not meet as adults, where we can both struggle in
the vast loudness of saying yes all the time,
when our every breath wants to scream no.  In
that struggle, I find strength from something we
use to do together. You taught me to swim.  I
love the water, every cell comes alive. Just a
few days ago,  I swam out and I looked back at
all the homes of our town, old Mrs. Flynn the
painter; the Vanhorvsen's home with the fishboat
still unfinished, and over the cliffside--the
millionaire's home.  I kick my legs and a
thousand drops of seawater shoot into the air and
are held for a moment.  Maybe even all the
moments of this town are caught in those drops
and then they fall back to the ocean.  All the
lives lived, and all of the hats we've all worn
or will wear, and every so often one needs a rock
to stand on, a place to be. Just to be. I 
realize my father gave me that gift. A certainty
I need.  On the last day as he lay dying, we went
swimming.  We created the story of an imaginary
swim.  Together as we'd done when I was very
little, we'd experience, the wild joy for the
water, and the renewal of a cool swim in the
ocean. Just being. Present. That's how I will
remember you Dad.

(Thomas kneels at the "coffin.")

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-THIRTY-FOUR-117

DANTE:
That's my bro. The reception will take place at
our family home after the burial. My sister has
made her famous Nanaimo Bars.

(To Thomas)
"I am the master of my fate."

LIGHTS FADE.

SCENE: 35

(LIGHTS UP.)

THE FAIRY FOREST

(The Banshee and the Boy dance of
death.)

BANSHEE.:
The triumph of three.  Birth, Life, Death.

(To the Banshee)
It's time for me to return to my origin and live
again.  My  time to go to Tir-na-nog has come.

GULLY MONSTER:
What of the boy

GRACE:
The boy's time is now and forever. He will return
beyond the veil when he's called.

BOY:
But what will I do?

GRACE:
Your world's self will grow to an old age and
die.  Each day he will be more of the man he was
meant to be before our worlds collided.  You will
be there with him, ageless with the guileless
power of innocence, able to face his real
monsters. All will be in balance again.

BOY:
I'm ready.

(Grace leaves, the boy joins with
the Banshee.)

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-THIRTY-FIVE-118

BANHSEE
(To the Gully Monster.)

The shroud is yours now.

(They take the shroud and place it
over the gully monster, who begins
to wash it in the tub.  The
banshees dances with a final cry
and takes the boy out to the world
beyond the veil.  We hear the rain.)

(Lights fade. The monster, now the
banshee dances out wearing the
shroud.)

SCENE: 36

IN THE TREEFORT.  It is early morning.  A CROW CAWS. 
We see a body stir.

(It's Thomas. He gets up to sitting.
He's not wearing a shirt.  The body
next to him stirs, and from the
voice we recognize Colleen)

COLLEEN:
Thomas. Stay here with me some more.

THOMAS:
The last star is just about gone.  Can you make a
wish on a last star?

COLLEEN:
Tempt fate, why not.

(Colleen says this knowing of Thomas' battle with fate)

THOMAS:
My wish is: I wish it were not the last star.

COLLEEN:
It's still night.

THOMAS:
Sunrise soon.

COLLEEN
I could stay.

THOMAS:
You have to go.

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-THIRTY-SIX-119

COLLEEN:
Yes. But I'm as close as our voices on the phone…

THOMAS:
We said no phone calls.

(The crow caws.)

COLLEEN:
Good to be alone.

THOMAS
Yes.

COLLEEN:
Let's stay out here until the last possible
moment. Thomas, you're crying.

(She hugs him.)

THOMAS:
Got any apples?

COLLEEN:
What are you asking Thomas?

THOMAS:
Come here.

(They kiss)

COLLEEN:
Yes please again!

(They kiss until their kisses become
tentative.)

THOMAS:
Last night--

COLLEEN:
-- was good.

THOMAS:
Sentence complete. Period.  Yes, yes, oh yes, the
best I've ever had.

COLLEEN:
Perfect.  This is crazy. Why are we breaking up? 
You're crying again.

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-THIRTY-SIX-120

THOMAS:
I think I'm happy, and you?

COLLEEN:
Right now, yes.

THOMAS:
You have to go.

(Pause)

COLLEEN:
Yes.

(She turns to go.)

THOMAS:
Colleen.  You know, Ten, Twenty, Fifty years from
now, when this forest is paved over for a mall or
something, we'll still remember--I don't know--
when we were young together.

COLLEEN:
How could we forget?  Now you've got me doing it. 

Thomas takes his hand and wipes his own tear across
the tear on Colleens.

THOMAS:
Our tears are real.  I want in. To this grand
tiptoeness.  I submit. I give-in. I give back to
me my power.  People, Crowds, faces, a pond, a
pool, an ocean, a life, a force, a society
pounding around me, and through, by, and in me.
Caging the rain and wind inside me.  I cry and I
know I'm alive.  But I let go.

COLLEEN:
That's the whole story.

(She starts to exit from the tree
house.)

THOMAS:
That's so true. That's the whole story.

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-THIRTY-SIX-121

SCENE: 37

Colleen exits and Thomas is left alone.  He hears
someone calling.

Lights up on the boy atop the rock

BOY:
Thomaaaaaaaaaaaaas!

THOMAS:
((Not turning, acting as the echo)

Thomaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!

(Thomas then turns to the boy and
they see each other for the first
time.)

BOY:
Who are you?

THOMAS:
I am here.

BOY:
I didn't say where. I said who.

THOMAS:
Yes. I heard you. I answered your question with
the only answer I know.  Who are you?

BOY
I am an echo. I'm a boy. Are you a boy like me?

THOMAS:
Yes and No.

BOY:
Oh, that's a funny answer.

THOMAS:
Yes it is. What are you doing alone out here so
early?

BOY
I'm waiting for the gully monster.

THOMAS:
A monster?  Aren't you afraid?

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-THIRTY-SEVEN-122

BOY:
Not anymore. Now, I want to meet her.

THOMAS:
Oh. What will you do when you meet her?

BOY:
I'll probably ask her some questions.

THOMAS:
That's a good place to start.

(They turn and yell out for echoes.)

THOMAS: (Continued)
Thom--Thommmm--Thomaaaaas!!!!

BOY:
Thom Thom Thommmmmmmaaaaaaaaaas!!!

END OF PLAY

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