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Donated by the
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The May G Qmgley
Collect1on
of Ch1ldren’s L1terature
December 2001
The Umverslty of Mlchlgan Dearborn
Mardlglan Llbrary


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COPYRIGHT, xgoz, BY
J. F. TAYLOR AND
COMPANY,N-EWYORK.
Publis/zed, October, 1902.


—~
“ Acknowledgment is due t/ze New York Herald for
gh/ing';>ermz'.m'on to reproduce this fiery."
. D. Z. D.


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CHAPTER
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
VIII.
IX.
X.
XI.
XII.
XIII.
Contents
DEDICATION . . .
ANDY, -I1N1<s, AND THE HOBBY HORSE
T1-us TOYTOWN TROLLEY . . . . .
Tm: LEAD Souanans AND THE ?JR0wN11-:
ROBBERS . . . . . . . .
“ DRY Goons AND NOTIONs." . . .
DOUG!-INUT LIFE-PRESERVERS AND A
POETICAL HORSE . . . . . .
ONE ORDEROF UNICORN-ON-THE-COB . .
A SWELL MUSICALE . . . . . .
THE NORTH Pous AT LAST . . .
A HORSE DOCTOR AND AN ACCIDENT . .
JACK-IN-TYNE-Box AND A DISABLED ENGINE .
Tm; LION ON THE Y.-xcm" . . . . -
THE TRIAL 01-‘ THE TIN MOUSE . . .
How THE TIN MousE W0N THE HUNDRED-
YARD CRAWL . . . . . . .
31
49
61
77
95
107
127
I45
157
177
193
209






5


Dedication
For mother has to work so hard,
A dancing nights, or pouring tea "
Each afternoon, she has no time
To play and romp with me!
I wish some nights 'she’d stay at home,
And, when it's time to go to bed,
She'd hear my prayers instead of nurse.
Then when it’s dark I'd have no dread,
If she'd jes’ let me hold her hand—
Her pretty hand with all its rings
And I can go right off to sleep
If mother only sings !
But mother has no time, she says,
To humor little girls, 'cos she
Gets tired out with balls and things
That keep her up till three.
I hark each night for mother's step,
And then I call out, loud and clear,
“ Hope you'll have a lovely time,"
And, “ Good-night, mother dear ! ”
But when she's gone, and down below
Ihear the carriage door slam to,
I feel so lonely I could cry,
And sometimes p'r'aps I do!


Andy, Jinks, and Me Hobby Horse

9





<-.-


Andy’s Adventures on
N oah’s Ark
.__i-_i-
_ CHAPTER 1.
ANDY, JINKS, AND THE HOBBY HORSE.
TO begin with, Andy had always been a
lonely little boy. He lived with his
father in a great, gloomy house. He was an
only child, and when his mother died, which
was while Andy was still a mere baby, his
father determined that, if he could help it,
nothing should take from him his only remain-
ing treasure.
Not being robust Andy was never allowed
to go to school, for fear he might catch some
disease and die. So he was taught at home
by a middle-aged governess, who_ wore great,
gold-rimmed spectacles and never smiled. Un-
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Andy’s Adventures on Noah's Ark

der the guidance of this kindly but gloomy
person, the study hour was never a joyous time
for Andy. His one other companion was
Anne, his nurse, who loved him like a mother,
and, acting under his father's instructions,
never let him out of her sight.
Andy returned the good Anne's affection,
but for all that she was not a congenial play-
fellow for a lively boy of eight. Every morn-
ing she would take himffor “a romp in the
park," as she would call it. But nurse herself
was too fat and too old to do anything but
drop into the nearest bench, there to beam
fondly on Andy as he stood disconsolately in
the middle of the walk, and wondering what on
earth to do with himself; for, mind you, if he
approached another boy to propose a game,
nurse would call him to her and tell him not
to speak tostrange lads for fear he might
catch the measles or the scarlet fever, or some
other dreadful thing. Even if a friendly dog
invited Andy to play with him, it would be—
12


Q.
Andy, Jinks, and tbe Hobby Horse

“ Andy, darlin', kape away from that strange
beast ; he might bite you l"
Sometimes it would be his governess who took
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“mwY, DARLlN', RAPE A\VAY FROM THAT STRANGE BEAST; HE mom‘ arm You ! “
him out, and that was even worse than nurse.
Miss Lemon never let go of his hand for fear
Andy might vanish in thin air, or the sidewalk
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Andy’s Adventures on Noah's Ark

might swallow him up. It was so long ago that
Miss Lemon had been a child that she had quite
forgotten what it was like. On the occasion
of these walks with Andy, she was at great
pains to amuse him. But her idea of amuse-
ment was to ask him to name the “capital of
each state, my dear, and the principal rivers" ;
or else, “ how much is two and eight and five? "
Then poor Andy would cry out fretfully,
“I don't want to do 'rithmetic and jography;
I want to play something." And Miss Lemon
would look at him reproachfully through her
spectacles, and say, “ I’m sure that's a very
nice pastime, my dear, combining as it does a
pleasant mental diversion with some useful
instruction."
So it was that nurse and Miss Lemon, be-
tween them, prevented Andy from catching
anything, from measles to a good time.
The one ray of sunshine in his lonely little
life was his father's good-night kiss when that
busy man came home late after his day's work.
—~
14


Andy, Jinks, and tbe Hobby Horse
_._ _.._

In the morning, too, Andy would see him for
a few minutes at breakfast before he was off
for the day.
I have said that Andy had no other com-
panions than Miss Lemon and nurse; but I
had forgotten Captain Jinks.
Now the Captain was nothing more nor less
than a very large rag doll, who spent his days
astride a rocking-horse in the nursery and at
night he shared Andy's trundle bed. The Cap-
tain was not what you would have called a hand-
some fellow. He was slightly cross-eyed, and
one eyebrow was higher than the other. His
best feature was his mouth, which was large
and wore a perpetual smile.
He was Andy's confidant, and at night
when his prayers had been said, and nurse
had gone, Andy would pour into Captain
Jinks' ear—or rather the place where an ear
ought to have been—all his woes, and all
the brave desires of his boyish heart. The
Captain would listen in sympathetic silence
Is


Andy, Jinks, and toe Hobby Horse


How long he slept he never knew, but sud-
denly he awoke with a start and sat up in bed.
It was no longer raining, and what Andy
thought must be the moonlight was streaming
in the window and making the room as light
as day.
Then Andy thought of the Captain and
looked around for him, but that gallant fellow
was nowhere to be seen.
‘ “ He was beside me when I went to bed,"
said Andy aloud, “ I wonder where he can be?"
“Here I am," cried a small voice, and to
Andy's astonishment there was Captain Jinks
smiling and nodding to him from over the
foot of the bed.
Now Andy has always been so sure in his
own mind that the Captain could talk if he
wanted to, that he was not so much surprised
to hear him speak as he afterwards thought
he ought to have been; so his next question
was : What are you doing, Captain ?
“l am just starting off for Toytown," said
\
17


Andyls Adventures on Noah’s Ark

Jinks, and here he hauled out a small watch
and gazed at it very anxiously. Andy rec-
ognized it as a toy watch which had been
given him that very Christmas, and its face
was simply painted.
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“Why, Jinks," cried Andy, “ Does that
watch keep any sort of time ?"
“ Yes," saidthe funny fellow in an aggrieved
tone. “It keeps lots of it; but it's a very
poor sort."
18


Andy, Jinks, and tire Hobby Horse


Andy felt a trifle perplexed. “ I'm afraid
you don't understand me," he said. “ I mean,
can the watch go? "
The Captain scratched his head; then he
remarked gravely : “ That depends on where
you want it to go."
Andy burst out laughing. He could not
help it for the life of him.
“Oh, Captain Jinks," he cried. “You're
so funny. I didn't mean that at all."
“ Then please say what you do mean," said
the rag doll just a mite sharply. “And be
quick about it too, for this watch is losing
time so fast that pretty soon there won't be
enough left for me to catch the trolley, in and
it's the last one to-night, too."
The Captain's method of computing time
seemed logical enough, only somehow Andy
could not quite understand him.
“I guess I must be very stupid," he
thought to himself.
“ Yes, you are," the Captainiretorted, quite
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as though the boy had spoken aloud. “ But
you can't help that, you know," he added with
a bland smile. “You'll out-grow it."
“Well I guess I've got more sense than

a " than an old rag doll, he was going to
say, but he was afraid it might hurt the Cap-
tain's feelings, so he added, “than a lot of
other folks."
“Very like, very like," said Jinks with a
wise look, “I shouldn't wonder, now, if you
had as much as a whole half-dollar."
“ But I wasn't talking about c-e-n-t-s," cried
Andy, laughing, “I was speaking of s-e-n-s-e."
“ How was I to know which word you
meant?" grumbled the rag doll. “ If you'd
spelled the words out in the first place now,
you'd have saved a deal of bother."
“ But think how long it would take," cried
Andy, “ if I stopped to spell out all my
words."
“ Well, you'd talk less, and that would be a
comfort," muttered the Captain, with a tri-
umphant air.
2o



Andy, Jinks, and tbe Hobby Horse

Andy felt very much hurt at this rude re-
mark but he simply said, replioachfully, “I
think you are very rude, Jinks, I never treated
you so unkindly."
Jinks actually -blushed at this—can you
imagine a rag doll blushing ?—then he winked
both eyes very hard as though he had gotten
something in them, out he made no reply.
Then Andy remembered the Captain had said
he was going to Toytown, wherever that
might be. i
“Oh, Jinks," he cried, “won't you please
take me with you? I should so love to go.
Miss Lemon and nurse .never take me any-
where that's any fun, and oh, it would be just
bully to go with you." '
“ All right, come along," said Jinks, “ only
hurry and get dressed, or we shall be too
late."
“I must say," he added, “the way the
womenfolk in this house treat you, fairly
makes my sawdust boil."
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Andy's Adventures an Noah’s Ark

The idea of sawdust boiling struck Andy as
being very funny, but just then something
funnier happened to him.
He was looking about for his clothes, and
in his impatience he cried out, “Oh, where
are my stockings ?" I i
Hardly were the words out of his mouth
when the stockings suddenly appeared and
began to wriggle themselves on Andy's bare
legs, as though some invisible hand were at
work.
“And now where are my shoes ?" cried
Andy, when he had gotten over his surprise
at the strange performance of his stockings.
Immediately his little boots came hoppity-hop
across the floor and jumping up they slipped
onihis feet as nicely as you please. i
“ Dear me," said Andyto himself, “ I never
knew clothes to act in that way before ; but it
certainly is a very easy way of getting dressed.
I guess all I have to do is to name something
and it gets in its right place."
22


Andy, Jinks, and tbe Hobby Horse


Acting on this thought Andy called out
loudly, “Shirt." Instantly his shirt, which
had been lying limply on a chair-back, rose
up and came sailing through the air like a
kite, to land gently on Andy's head and then
to work its way down over his shoulders.
.-\


INSTANTLY HIS SHIRT ROSE UP AND CAME SAILING THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A KITE.
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Each part of his attire Andy called by
name, and at once it seemed to fly to its -place.
So in almost no time Andy was ready to start.
The Captain in the mean time showed his im-
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Andy's Adventures on Noah’s Ark

patience by hopping first on one foot and
then on the other.
Suddenly Andy felt something soft rub
against his hand and looking around the boy
beheld his hobby horse; it was rocking gently
to and fro and gazing up into Andy's face with
its great glassy blue eyes.
Somehow Andy did not feel very much sur-
prised to see it, ‘nor was he very much aston-
ished when the Captain came skipping across
the floor and attempted to climb into the sad-
dle. He was very clumsy about it ; the horse
was rocking back and forth all the time, and
when Jinks would get one foot in the stirrup
and swing the other foot over, he always swung
so hard that he would lose his balance and
tumble over on the other side. Over and
over he kept repeating this performance, and
all the time he was muttering to himself, “l
must hurry—I must hurry. Dear me, why
doesn't this horse stand still ?"
Suddenly lhe unfortunate Jinks caught his
24


Andy, Jinks, and tbe Hobby Horse


leg in a sharp buckle on the stirrup. There
was a rasping sound as of something ripping ;
and the poor Captain fell over on his side
with" an agonized expression on his usually
bland face. ‘
“For goodness' sake, boy," he ca-lled to
Andy, “ bandage up my leg as quickly as you
can—I am sawdusting to death."
And sure enough, a faint trail of fine saw-
dust lay upon the ground. In a moment
Andy had wrapped his handkerchief about the
ripped place.
“There now," said Andy cheerily, “you’re
all right," and picking up the rag doll he
placed it carefully in the saddle.
But even then Andy expected to see the
gentleman pitched off; for the horse was
rocking very violently now, and the Captain's
legs were waving wildly in the air, while his
arms were wound tight around the horse's
neck.
“ Get up behind me quickly,” cried the Cap-
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likely that _]inks would be off in a minute but
he did not want to offend an old friend. So
he said nothing but jumped on the rocker and
then on the horse's back.
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29



Zita


CHAPTER II.
THE TOYTOWN TROLLEY.
WHEN Andy opened his eyes after he
had waited fearfully for the rock-
ing horse to bump into the wall, he perceived
that somehow they had gone straight through
the side of the house, like water through a
sieve. ‘
Outside were not the paved streets and
noisily clanging street cars which Andy was
accustomed to. Instead, to his great surprise,
a beautiful country landscape opened out be-
fore him—lovely winding roads, placid lakes
and great trees, their thick foliage lazily stir-
ring in a soft summer breeze. When Andy
had first opened his eyes, the rocking horse
was slowly sailing through the air along the
tops of the trees. It made Andy a trifle
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dizzy to look down, and he expected every
minute that they would go crashing to the
ground below.
“ Oh, Captain Jinks," cried Andy, “ I didn't
know that a rocking horse could fly l "
“Well, you don't know much, and that's a
fact," replied the Captain briskly. He had
quite recovered from his exciting experience
in mounting the horse. and was as saucy as
even
“Did you ever see a horse fly ? " he asked
presently.
“Oh, yes," cried Andy, “lots and lots of
times !" .
“Well, now you've seen a rocking horse
fly, and what's more, you've ridden one," said
Jinks. “ You ought to feel very much obliged
to me," he went on, “for it isn't every one
who has had that privilege."
Andy felt like laughing at that, because he
didn't see why he should be obliged to the
Captain for letting him ride his own horse,
32



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and, besides, the Captain never could have
ridden it himself if Andy hadn't helped him
on.
All this time the rocking horse had been
mounting higher and higher in the air.
Suddenly it gave a quick plunge, head
downward. It was so unexpected that both
Andy and Jinks slid off into space.
The horse, like a balloon suddenly relieved
of its ballast, went shooting skyward again,
and Andy, who was falling face upward,
watched it till it was a mere speck in the blue
sky. '
It seemed to Andy they would never reach
the ground. But this falling through the air
was really a delightful sensation, and Andy
came to the conclusion that they were falling
very slowly and not fast enough to hurt them-
selves. Suddenly he and the gallant Captain
went plunging into what seemed thick, fleecy
clouds,"and then, kerchunk! they had fallen
right on top of a very soft haystack.
35



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Andy’s Adventures on Noah's Ark

Andy thought it was a great piece of luck
that they should have come down on the stack
instead of the hard ground, but when they
tried to climb down he was inclined to change
his mind.
It was either the most enormous haystack
ever seen, or else, as Andy suggested to the
Captain, they had grown smaller.
“Of course we have grown smaller," was
the Captain's astonishing retort. “ Everyone
who goes to Toytown has to be of a certain
size, you know,—-—about one foot tall. It's
those white clouds we just passed through,"
the Captain explained, “that shrink you right
down to the proper size."
“ But why does everybody have to be one
size in Toytown ?" asked Andy, very much in-
terested.
“Because it makes it ever so much more
sociable all the way around," said Jinks.
“How could a great big fellow like me take
tea, for instance, with alittle china doll only
. 36


The Toytown Trolley




three inches high? Why, I'd probably walk
right over her and never know it !"
“Oh, then, Toytown is the home of all the
dolls!" cried Andy. “What an interesting
place it must be ! "
“Right you are !" replied Jinks gayly.
Then he went on by way of explanation, “you
see, every night when boys and girls are fast
asleep the dolls all travel to Toytown and have
a sociable time. My, don't they gossip, and
how they do criticise their young mistresses
and masters ! " and Jinks chuckled. ‘
“ Sometimes," he went on, “when a little
girl is sick and can’t sleep and calls for her
doll, then, of course, the doll can't go to Toy-
town that night, but that doesn't happen very
often, I am glad to say."
Just then a silvery bell was heard to tinkle
in the distance. “ Dear! dear! " cried the
Captain. “ That's the trolley car, and it will
be starting in another minute. However
shall we get down? "
,_:f$="““"“_“


37


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

The sides of the haystack were very steep
and it did not seem safe to tryisliding down.
“If only you were a horse now, or a cow,"
remarked the Captain, regretfully, “ you could
eat our way down to the ground. It would
take time, of course, but it would be the safest
way."
Andy thought it was rather selfish of the
Captain to wish that he were a horse or a cow,
but, as usual, he said nothing.
Just then Andy felt something hard under
his foot. Quickly he pushed aside the hay
revealing a small trap-door with a little ring
in the centre with which to lift it.
The Captain caught sight of it as Andy
cleared away the straw and cried out :—
“ Look! There's a door!" quite as though
he were the first to see it.
“ I see it ! " retorted Andy, a little bit angry
at Jinks, “I couldn't help it very well, as I
was the one to uncover it ! "
“Yes, yes," cried Jinks, “that's right, you
. 38


The Toytown Trolley







un-covered it, but I dis-covered it ! " he added
triumphantly. “Because you see I was the
first to speak of it !" “ Well, as long as you
wan t all the
Vi
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' thing," said
Andy, “sup-
posing you "do
a little of the
work. S u p -
p o s i n g you
lift the cover
off l "
-- as Tuscan WITH ALL 1-us MIGHT." “ Anything
to be obliging, I'm sure l " replied the Captain,
with what was meant to be an airy flourish of
his right arm.
He tugged with all his might at the ring
but could not budge it an inch.
“ Why, Captain !" cried Andy, almost chok-
ing with laughter,“ how do you expect to pull up
the lid when you're standing on it yourself !"


ii.
39


Andy’s Adventures on Noah’s Ark

“It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter!" re-
plied the Captain, lcheerily. “I don't weigh
more than six pounds, and six pounds more
or less to pull up doesn't make any dif-
ference to me l"
“ Oh, Captain Jinks, you old simpleton !"
cried Andy, giving the rag doll a little push
out of the way.
-The Captain lost his balance and sat down
in a heap; and he sat where he fell, and kept
repeating over and over to himself, as though
he thought it of the greatest importance, “I
dish-covered it—I dish-covered it." With one
mighty pull Andy had yanked aside the lid
and there was revealed a small flight of stairs
that led down into the darkness below. “ Well,
whoever would have thought of finding a
stairway inside a haystack ! " cried Andy, and,
with a hasty call to the Captain to follow him,
he descended the steps. At the bottom he
found himself in a long, narrow, low-roofed
tunnel, and at the very end a small patch of


The Toytown Trolley



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daylight shone in. At the moment came
another tinkle of the bell, and at that sound
the Captain ‘became so excited that he fell all
the way down the steps.
“ The trolley l " he cried, catching at Andy's
hand. “Come, hurry, or we shall certainly
miss it !"
His fall did not seem to have injured him
at all. And now they began to run the faster
with every step. About every ten steps the
Captain would trip and fall, but he did not
let alittle thing like that retard their progress;
when he fell he would just roll on till he came
feet end up and then he would start to run on
again. But this performance, so often re-
peated, was a little trying for Andy, as the
Captain kept tight hold of his hand all the
time.
At last they reached the opening of the
tunnel, and there stood the trolley which the
Captain had been so afraid of missing. Andy
rubbed his eyes and looked again. Was it
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really? Yes, it was—one of the little tin cars
from the nursery. As Andy remembered it,
the cars were so small he could pick up the
whole train in his hands. But this car was of
a monstrous size, big enough for Andy to get
into. And then he remembered that it was
because he had shrunk that the car looked
so large. Now Andy had often wondered if
there were really and truly seats inside his
cars, just as there are in the real cars people
travel in. But the windows were only painted
and so were the doors and so Andy had never
been able to look inside.
Now, however, the windows were all open
and dolls of all kinds were looking out. In
one window appeared the head of his cousin
Elsa's French doll, she who had real hair and
could open and shut her eyes. She caught
sight of Andy at that moment and nodded
and smiled at him quite like an old acquaint-
ance, and Andy, who was a very polite little
boy, lifted his cap and bowed in response
42


The Toytown Trolley









Though it struck him afterward that bowing
to a doll was a very funny thing for a boy to
do and he made up his mind he would never
tell anybody about it lest he should be teased.
‘The Captain was standing by one of the
windows, talking away to a friend he had
met, and Andy went to the rear platform.
There he was astonished "to see one of his tin
soldiers, evidently acting as conductor of this
queer carload.
“ No dogs allowed on this car ! " said the
conductor, in a hoarse voice, and he looked
straight at Andy.
Andy felt that some reply was expected, so
he said, rather sharply, “I should think that
you could see I have no dog."
“ Well, my eyesight isn't very good these
days," replied the conductor, “and I didn't
know but what you might have a dog or two
concealed in your pocket or somewhere."
Andy made no answer to this absurd re-
mark and started to get aboard the car.


43


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

“ Where's your ticket ?"
“ I—I haven't any," faltered Andy.
“Well, you'll have to buy one, then," an-
nounced the conductor, frowning fiercely at
Andy.



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“Where shall I buy one, please?" asked
Andy, looking vainly around for any sign of
a ticket office in the woods that surrounded
the car.
“It doesn't make any difference to me
77
where you buy it, said the conductor shortly.
-44


The Toytown Trolley










Then he closed one eye and gazed intently
at the sky.
“I'm here to run this car," he announced,
without addressing anyone in particular, “ and
not to act as a bureau of information. Some
people ask more questions " He stopped
abruptly and walked slowly into the car. It
was not really a walk, for the tin soldier's
feet were still fastened to their metal base.

It was really a series of short hops. As
soon as the conductor had disappeared, Andy
quietly mounted the steps and went inside.
At that moment there was a crash ; then a
babel of dolls' voices and the patter of many
feet.
45





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The Lead Soldier and tfie
Brownie Robbers

47


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CHAPTER III.
THE LEAD SOLDIER AND THE BROWNIE ROBBERS.
‘ I ‘HE crash and the general hubbub which
occurred immediately on Andy’s enter-
ing the Toytown trolley car, he at once saw
was due to- the sudden collapse of the tin
soldier who was acting as conductor. That
gentleman, while hopping along the aisle of
the car, had managed to trip himself up, and,
of course, had fallen full length.
He lay there perfectly helpless, while the
various occupants of the car gathered around,
issued orders, and made suggestions, but no
one attempted to help him.
“ It's a fit, I think!" cried Judy, who was
one of the passengers.
“ Nonsense, my dear I" replied Punch, with
a knowing look. “ It's just a little dizziness,
that's all." I
49


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

U , . - . 1,,
Hes in a dead faint, I know he IS. said
the French doll in a hushed sort of voice.
“ Oh ! isn't there a doctor anywhere?" ‘
“ Call a doctor—where's the doctor ?" cried
the other passengers in chorus, and they pro-
ceeded to search the car, looking under the
seats, and in all the absurd and impossible
places you could think of.
“The stupid things!" thought Andy, and,
walking up, he cried in a bold voice: “Stand
one side, if you please; I'll put him on his feet."
At this the soldier, who had been lying like
one asleep, opened his eyes and lookedup at
Andy.
“You've got some~sense—y0u have!" he
muttered. Then he turned his gaze on the
group of dolls.
“Gabbling hens!" he growled contemptu-
ously.
At that the dolls all fiounced back to their
seats, and left Andy alone to put the soldier
on his feet.
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Lead Soldier and Brownie Robbers

This was no easy job as that individual
made no effort to help himself, but kept per-
fectly rigid when Andy took him by the
shoulders and boosted him to an upright
position.
“Thankee very kindly!" said the man of
metal when Andy, ‘panting from his efforts,
had finished the job.
“ Don't mention it !" replied Andy politely.
“But say," he added, "you're as heavy as
lead, do you know it?" and he wiped the per-
spiration from his brow.
“ Naturally I " retorted the conductor, “ see-
ing that's what I am made of l"
“Oh, I beg your pardon!" cried Andy,
fearing the other was offended. Everyone
seemed so touchy in this queer land. “I
didn't mean to joke about it!" Then he
added by way of changing the subject, “ Tell
me how you came to be aiconductor ? "
“ Well, it was this way," replied the other.
“At first I was for going in for the navy, but


i
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53 ‘


Andy's Adventures an Noah's Ark

the trouble was the water doesn't agree with
me. Even as a boy I never could swim—factl
I had the very best of teachers, too. My
parents spared no expense, but somehow it
wasn't any use. The last teacher I had—he
was a canvas-back duck and a superb swim-
mer—told me that my specific gravity was
what kept me from learning. I dare say
you've noticed my gravity?" added the con-
ductor, looking anxiously at Andy.
“ Not 'specially," replied the boy.
“ Well," the other went on, “I took to
making jokes and telling funny stories in the
hopes that it would make me more light-
hearted and buoyant: but somehow it didn't
keep me afloat whenever I got in the water."
Just then somebody shouted, “all aboard !'
and the trolley-car bounded off at a terrific
rate of speed. The conductor started to take
up the tickets and Andy wondered what he
was going to do about it, as he had none.
He soon noticed, however, that instead of
54-


Lead Soldier and Brownie Robbers

real tickets, the dolls offered bits of candy and
cake which the conductor accepted, bit into,
and then returned.
If it happened to be a very nice kind of
candy, it was to be noticed that the conductor
returned mighty little.
One doll, a small-sized
china doll with one arm
gone and wearing a very
tattered gown offered a
piece of chewing gum.
The conductor eyed it
suspiciously and then re-


L‘ turned it, remarking,
_-mum,’sm>1..w,~»mDR.~~“That's no good on this
train; that's been used before !" which was
perfectly true, for the doll had been chewing
on it ever since she had boarded the car.
Captain Jinks came to her rescue by offering
two peppermint creams for himself and the
one-armed doll.
In the mean time Andy had been searching
55
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Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

in his pockets for a stray bit of candy and as
the conductor reached his side he handed him
a vanilla wafer. The conductor broke it into
two, ate one-half and stuck the other in
Andy's hat band.
“ That's your return coupon !" he said.
“It must be bully to be conductor on this
line," Andy remarked, “ Cos you get so many
nice things to eat."
“ Not always nice," replied the other with a
slow shake of his head. “ Once I got a piece
of April Fool candy— remember I didn't get
over z‘/tat for a week. Another time my teeth
got stuck fast in a chocolate caramel. So I
couldn't open my mouth to ask for tickets or
call out the names of the stations. I had a
dreadful time of it."
“What salary do you get ?" inquired Andy,
very much interested in the man's career.
“I get ten cents a year and all I can eat,"
said he proudly. “ It's an awful lot of money
—isn't it?" he went on in a solemn tone of
56


Andy’s Adventures on Noah’s Ark

and carrying pistols as big as themselves,
swarmed into the car and ordered everybody
to hold up their hands.
The conductor made a feeble attempt to use
his gun ; but as it was glued close to his side he
only succeeded in shooting a couple of holes
in the roof.
The leader of the band came up to Andy,
who sat with folded arms, and pointing his
u ‘I'
weapon at him he cried shrilly, Surrender .
“Shan't!" retorted Andy boldly. “I'm a
boy—I am ; and you are nothing but a lot of
cloth brownies stuffed with cotton !"
Yelling and screaming, the whole band
made straight for the rebellious Andy.
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“ Dry Goods and Notions

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CHAPTER IV.
1!
“ DRY GOODS AND NOTIONS..
AS the Brownie robbers pressed close up
to Andy he heard a small voice in his
ear whisper, “Throw this at them!" and he
felt something being shoved into his hand.
He looked down and saw that it was a. giant
torpedo. Without stopping to think what the
consequences might be he flung it straight at
the Brownies. The next instant there was a
fearful explosion, and then Andy felt himself
flying through the air. He hit against some-
thing and clutched wildly at it. It was a low-
hanging limb of a tree. Then Andy dropped
lightly to the ground and looked about him.
To his intense surprise he saw his hobby
horse, with -Jinks astride, come dashing down
the road. The horse had lost its rockers and
61


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

was now trotting along quite like an' ordinary
animal. As for the Captain, he was bouncing
up and down on its back like a great rubber
ball. All signs of the trolley car and its oc-
cupants had disappeared.
“Lucky I
ran across this
animal," r e -
marked the Q
Captainas ' ifi’
Andy clam-42>.” 345
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hind him, “or
w e w o u l d
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surely h a v e
m is s e d the
boat " . . . . . “ 1-ns I-{OBBY—l-(ORSE wrrn JINKS ASTRIDE."
“Oh! Do we have to take a boat now?"
asked Andy.
“ No ! " said Jinks, sharply, “I should say
not! It's the boat that takes us."
- “Well, that's what I meant," said poor


62


~“Dry Goods and Notions”

Andy, who was tired of having everybody cor-
rect him.
“ Well, I'm no mind-reader!" snapped the
Captain, who seemed to be in a very bad
humor.
They rode in silence for some time, and Andy
began to get very tired of being jounced up
and down.
“I wish this horse would change his gait,"
he remarked at last, rather wearily.
“Stuff and nonsense!" cried Jinks, very
angrily. “I don't see any gate, anyway, and
if there was one it isn't the horse's place to
change it.
At that Andy gave up trying to talk to
Jinks, and he amused himself by looking
about him. Presently he discovered a most
astonishing thing. The road they were trav-
elling kept curving to the right, and Andy
noticed that every little while they passed a
certain big tree. '
“I do believe," he thought, “that we are
63


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

going around in a circle ! And if that is the
case we could ride for a week and we'd never
reach the boat." Just then the hobby-horse,
which had slowed down to a walk, suddenly
bounded forward in a dead run. Poor Andy
was taken unawares and slid off the rear onto
the ground. He called to Jinks to stop him,
but the scared look that gentleman flung over
his shoulder showed very plainly that the
horse was beyond his control. Andy started
to run after the runaway, then he paused, as a
brilliant idea came to him.
“Why, all I have to do," he said to him-
self, “ is to sit down and wait. They're bound
to come around pretty soon. Probably by
the time the horse has run around the circle
a few times more he’ll be glad to stop." With
this comforting thought Andy proceeded to
look about him for a nice, comfortable spot
where he might sit and rest while waiting for
Captain Jinks.
Suddenly he became aware that right across
64 "
-ii-ii:


“Dry Goods and Notions”
-u--.-H-_-'-

the road from where he sat was a funny little
store, with a sign above the door which read,
“ Dry Goods and Notions."
“That's funny!" thought Andy. “I never
noticed that place before. I think I'll go over
and see what's inside."
With that he stepped on the road to cross
over to the other side. No sooner had he
stepped on the road than the store and all
the trees around it seemed to fly past him.
And then Andy made another interesting dis-
covery ; the road itself was moving along like
a merry-go-round. While Andy was wonder-
ing what to do, he saw the same little store
coming towards him. So just as it was oppo-
site he jumped off the road on that side
and walked up to the door. It was open, so
he walked right in. The interior was very
dark, but when his eyes had become accus-
tomed to the poor light he saw a queer-look-
ing object sitting behind the counter.
At first he thought it was a very wrinkled
65


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

old woman and then he was astonished to dis-
cover it was an owl with a funny old cap on
its head. The creature never stirred, but
looked straight before it blinking sleepily.
Presently it moved its head and looked at
Andy sideways.
“ Well, boy, can't you speak? " said the owl
in a shrill voice.
“ Yes'm," said Andy meekly.
Now he had often seen the sign “ dry goods
and notions," and had often wondered what
“ notions " might be. He had a dim idea that
it might be something good to eat so he
thought this a fine opportunity to find out.
“If you please, ma'am," said Andy in a
timid voice, “ I should like a notion."
“ Very sorry," replied the owl, “but we
haven't an ocean left. I sold the Atlantic and
Pacific last week. And, anyway, we only
keep dry goods now, nothing in the liquid
line whatever."
“ I didn't say an ocean I said a notion," ex-
plained Andy, trying not to laugh.
66


Andy's Adventures on l\Ioah's Ark

“Try another notion!" suggested the owl,
very much in the tone of voice one might ask
somebody to try another cough drop.
This time the paper read :—-“ It's the same
time it was this time last time."
“ I'm afraid that doesn't help me any," said
Andy politely, and he started out to find
Jinks.
“ Wouldn't you like a horse blanket or
something choice in dog collars!" called the
owl after him.
“ No, thank you ! " replied Andy.
“Or rocking chairs or hairpins," the owl
went on in a melancholy voice. “ Or flag
poles, or fish hooks, or f-a-a-ans ! " .
The owl's voice had gotten shriller and
shriller until with the last word it had become
as piercing as a whistle; and Andy had to
cover his ears with his hands as he ran off pell-
mell.
When he took his hands down he could still
hear the sound, but it seemed to have changed

68


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a little, and now the boy saw that it was really
a whistle blown from a familiar-looking boat
some distance ahead and moored at a dock.
Andy stopped short in wonder, for he sud-
denly recognized it as his own Noah's ark.
He knew it by the hole in the lid or roof where
he had knocked off a jagged piece of wood
but the day before.
Now, strange to say, the long neck and
mild face of a wooden giraffe rose up through
this opening. After scanning the horizon,
the animal called out, “ All clear ahead, and
the tide on the turn, Captain."
This announcement was evidently meant for
Noah himself, for that worthy came hopping
around a corner of the ark and proceeded to
stutter out about a hundred orders to his sons
and a couple of the Ark monkeys who seemed
to be doing duty as longshoremen.
- “ Stand by the hawsers there, and be ready
to cast off ! "
The absurd little fellows evidently were
71


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

“Hi, there! Captain Noah!" he called
shrilly. “ Vi/ait for me !"
Andy fairly flew over the intervening space
of gently inclined turf. When too late the
boy saw that the boat was too far out for him
to reach it by jumping, and he tried to stop
himself. .
74


Doughnut Life-Preservers and



A Poetical Horse I

75





-----‘_‘__._._.__i
-.....,...*.<.-=2-.._--s

l


CHAPTER v.
DOUGHNUT LIFE-PRESERVERS AND A POETICAL
HORSE.
H E heard wild shouts of, “ Look out I
Clear the road there !" and then he
splashed into the water. Andy was frightened
for a moment, for he could not swim very well.
As his head came up, he saw Ham leaning over
the bow of the ark, which, to Andy's surprise,
loomed up as large as a canal-boat. The next
instant Ham threw him a life-preserver tied to
a rope. Andy grabbed at it, and then he
burst out laughing, for it was nothing but a
huge cruller, with a hole in the centre, and it
was tied to a piece of darning cotton. Painted
on it in large letters was the warning:
I DON'T EAT THE LIFE-PRESERVER.
Instead of keeping him up, the doughnut
began to pull him down below the surface; so
77


Doughnut Life-Preserver
\

gettin' so old it makes him absent-minded. He
went into a restaurant by mistake, and when
he asked for a life-preserver they gave him this.
And then it was so cheap, only five cents l"
“lt would make a much better anchor, I
should say," remarked Andy, thoughtfully,
“ or a sinker for your fish line."
“Well yer see it's just this ere way!" re-
marked Ham who was rather weak in his gram-
mar. “ Bein' as 'ow we are an Arktic Explora-
tion party we've got to provide agin' all kinds
0' mishaps.
“ Now one o' the worst things to be afeard
of is starvin' to death. You never happened
to starve to death, did ye, sir? Well, I come
near it once. At last havin' nothin' else to
eat, I ate an animal cracker—it was polar bear
one, too, I remember, an' a fine fat fellow. I
remember it was a' Thursday I started in on
'im. ‘E lasted till Sunday arternoon. 'Fact,
ifl don't forget, I had one of 'is hind legs left
over fer Monday breakfast."
79-


Doughnut Life-Preserver

says pop, wotever we leave behind on this
trip it mustn't be victuals. Just then up comes
the giraffe who'd been hearin' wot had been
said; an' says he to pop, ‘ I've often thought
if the masts was made 0' sticks of peppermint
candy and the life-preservers was made of
sponge-cake how many people might have been
saved from starvation. ' "
“ But goodness I" cried Andy “ What good
would asponge-cake preserver be when it came
to drowning?" -
“ Ah!" cried Ham, closing his left eye.
“ But wot good would a life-preserver be if
you were starvin' to death. You can't eat
cork, you know." “ No-o," said Andy doubt-
fully. The argument seemed unanswerable,
and yet he couldn't reason it out to his own
satisfaction. “Well then, supposing the boat
should sink, how could you save people?"
“Oh, that's all attended to!" cried I-lam.
“We've got a big lot of long loaves of
French bread. All you've got to do is to hol-
8r


Andy's Adventures on Noah’s Ark

low out the inside and they float like anything !
so you can't say we aren't prepared for the
' )1
worst . he wound up triumphantly. -
It occurred to Andy that it would have been
more sensible to have real life-preservers that
would float, and loaves of bread that one could
eat, but Ham seemed so pleased with their
cleverness in preparing for a long voyage that
Andy didn't have the heart to say he thought
it a very silly arrangement.
Just then the ark swung around so that her
stern was within a few feet'of the dock. At
the same moment Andy caught sight of Jinks,
still astride the rocking horse, making for the
ark and waving his arms.
“ Oh, there's Jinks ! Do wait a moment
for him !" cried Andy.
Ham shook his head as he walked slowly
away. “ Couldn't think of it. The boat's be-
hind the tide-table now, and we -can't afford to
be no later."
“ What's a tide-table ?" asked Andy, for-
-_ -- : === ‘_
82


Doughnut Life-Preserver

getting his approaching friend for the mo-
ment.
“Say young feller!" remarked Ham con-
temptuously, “You can't know the fust rudi-
ments of runnin' an ark. We don't travel by
steam. No more do we travel by sail. We
go out with the tide, an' we come back with the
tide. If we miss the tide we have to wait till
the next day."
“ That must be an awtul slow way to travel I"
said Andy.
- “I Slow, but sure is our motto !" retorted
Ham. “ Railroad trains is often delayed.
Steamboats break down sometimes ; but time,
tide, and the ark wait for nothin' I "
“What's the rate of speed?"
“ 'Bout aninch a minute. An'a pretty pace
I call it, too I" said Ham, as he hopped off.
Andy turned towards land at the sound of
clattering hoofs wondering if Jinks could
possibly reach the boat. The boy thought for
a moment that the horse and rider would both
33


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark



plunge into the water, but no such thing
happened. At the very edge the horse
stopped short, with his feet planted stiff out
before him ; while poor Jinks, by sheer force of
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momentum, went flying through the air and
landed gracefully on his head on the deck_
The horse stood for a moment, gazing at his
4 #7
84


' Doughnut Life-Preserver

recent rider; then, apparently satisfied that he
had accomplished his errand, he wheeled about
and galloped away.
“Clever horse that!" remarked Jinks, still
standing on his head. “ Now, if you'll kindly
put me right side up, I'll be obliged."
Jinks was quite a heavyweight for the small
Andy to handle, and the rag doll was so fear-
fully helpless, especially in the management of
his legs ; but after a little hard work the boy
had his friend in a more comfortable position.
“ There!" murmured Jinks, with a sigh of
relief. “ That's better. I've always wanted
to take an ocean voyage. I call this bully!"
Just then a growl of animal voices, mingled
with the shriller tones of Captain Noah, was
heard from the forward deck. The giraffe
stretched his long neck through the hole in
the roof, from which point he could gain a good
view forward.
“ Say, fellows ! " he chuckled, looking down
on Andy and Jinks. “Old Noah's havin' a
8s


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark
bully row with the elephant. Better go and

see -the fun I" and he disappeared.
On going forward, Andy found such a mob
of animals surrounding the elephant and Noah
that he could see nothing of what was going
on. All the animals were speaking at once,
and the din was nearly deafening, Andy found
himself next to the giraffe. So he asked him
politely what seemed to be the matter.
“Why, you see, it's this way," began the
giraffe. “This is a night boat, but the ele-
phant has eaten up all the bedding. Just now
the lion thought he'd lie down and take a
snooze, and of course there wasn't anything to
lie down on except the bare floor. The ele-
phant says it's a pretty how de do if a fellow
can't enjoy a quiet little meal without having
every one pitch into him, and the lion says he
is going to write to the management and have
Captain Noah removed. Noah says that if a
person doesn't know the difference between
bedding and feed it isn't his fault. He says
86


Doughnut Life-Preserver -
I
I
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he never carried an elephant on this boat yet
that didn't give him a lot of trouble."
“ I've often heard of having an elephant on
your hands," said Andy, very much pleased
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with his own shrewdness, “but I never knew
quite what that meant before."
One by one the animals wandered back into
the interior of the ark and with much grunting
and snuffiing and shuffling they proceeded to
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37


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

settle themselves for a ‘nap. Andy found
himself all alone for the moment, while Jinks
was way up in the bow indulging in a little
nautical talk with Captain Noah.
The boy felt a timid touch on his arm and
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“ ARE You POND or POETRY? "
looking around he beheld a mild-eyed horse
gazing at him rather appealingly.
“ Are you fond of poetry?" the gentle crea-
ture asked, with much eagerness.
“ Well some kinds—the funny kind," replied
Andy frankly.
88


\ Doughnut Life-Breservei‘

“ Really? Well as for me-—-I just dote on
the works of Robert Browning."
“ Who's he ? " asked Andy.
“ Dear me I never heard of him ? "exclaimed
the horse in a shocked tone of voice. “Why,
Browning is a famous poetizer. His very name
suggests something that's ‘we/Z done.' "
There was a slight pause.
“That was a clever remark of mine, you
know !" murmured the horse timidly. “ What
Isaid about being well done—browned, you
know—see ? '
“Yes. I suppose that is very clever I" ad-
mitted Andy doubtfully. “ Do you write poe-
try yourself ? "
“ Well you see I " simpered the horse, “ I do
a little versification in the way of business.
It's my method of curing stuttering. Before
Ijoined Noah's arktic tour for my health, I
ran what I called a “ Horsepital for Stuttering
Quadrupeds. "
89


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

“I didn't know that horses could talk, let
alone stutter !" cried Andy.
“That's just it; they are all stutterers by
nature, and it makes 'em so ashamed they have
given up trying to talk at all I " explained the
horse. “If you asked one if he could talk,
he'd probably de-neigh it I
“ My method of curing stuttering is very
simple. The first year I make the pupil say
‘ Prisms, prunes, and pumpkin-pie’ three times
every half hour, in alternation with ‘cranberry
crutches, and crullers.' When the pupil can
do that with a pint of oats in his mouth at
the same time, without losing the oats, he is
ready for the second year, or senior class.
“On graduation-day every patient, or I
should say pupil, is obliged to recite a little
poem which I have composed for the occasion.
“ If the pupil can get through the last line of
it without getting twisted he is given the
degree of ‘C. O. S.' which means ‘Cured of
Stuttering.'
9°


Doughnut Life-Preserver
-—~4 j-~

“Here is a copy of the poem," added the
horse, blushing prettily as he hauled a bit of
paper from his pocket. “I assure you it is
strictly original with me. It may strike you
perhaps as having some of the soft Brown-
ing feeling—lamb is usually well done you
know—but it's rather pleasing fancy, is entirely
my own ! " -
This is what Andy read on the piece of
paper:
Mary had a little lamb
With green peas on the side ;
And when the waiter brought the bill,
The lady loudly cried :
“A dollar-ten—my goodness, me !
I call that awful‘ steep l"
The waiter merely murmured, “ Ma'am,
“ We do not keep cheap sheep l "
“Sweet idea, isn't it?" giggled the horse,
and with a kindly nod he hobbled away, leav-
ing Andy to re-adjust his opinion of the value
of horse sense.
91


\
J ~



Unicorn-on-z‘/ze-Cob i

but wooden animals, anyway, and that he
owned them. Still, somehow, he felt just a
little uneasy.
“We're likely to have lots of weather be-
fore we reach the Pole," went on His High-
ness, the lion, leaning his front paws on the
edge of the table and speaking in a confiden-
tial tone of voice.
“Are we going to the North Pole?" asked
Andy, much interested.
“ To be sure we are."
“ Why ? " asked Andy,
“ Because the North Pole won't come to
us l " said the lion. Then he turned savagely
on the others, who were listening intently.
“ That's a joke ! " he roared.
Immediately everybody laughed and sput-
tered in a feeble sort of way and looked half
frightened to death. '
The lion beamed graciously on them. "“ It's
a most congenial company, and we have such
lovely times together," he remarked, pleas-
97


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark



antly. “And it's nice to have people who so
thoroughly appreciate your jokes."
“ But that was an awfully poor joke of
yours," said the truthful Andy.
“I know it, but it's good enough for these
N‘
“mks
dz-
Q/L0
- “i'u. TRY A LITTLE ROAST MU'l’l‘0N," SAID “ ossY.”
dumb creatures," answered the lion, who
seemed to be in an excellent humor. Then
he leaned over till his whiskers tickled Andy's
cheek. “ Are there any of those present you
would like to be introduced to ?" he whispered.
“They're really a most distinguished lot.
98


Unicorn-on-t/ze-Cob
Some of them are very big personages indeed
—very big," and here the lion looked very
hard atthe elephant and the rhinoceros.
“But size doesn't always count!" replied
Andy, not a bit impressed. The lion looked
nettled and turned to the rhinoceros.
“ ‘ Ossy,' old man," he asked, “do you
count ? " -
“ Ossy " was fast asleep at that moment,
with his head on the table. But a porcupine,
who sat next to him, stuck a quill in him and
he sat up with ajump. .
The question was repeated.
“ Oh! yes I" he simpered. “I can count
up to eleven and a half !"'
“There, you see, he does count I " cried the
lion, triumphantly.
Andy started to explain that that was not
what he meant, when old Noah woke up sud-
denly. He rang a large bell and his two sons,
Shem and Ham, rushed in.
“ Serve dinner now I "he muttered, hoarsely,
99


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

and then fell asleep again. Ham went up to
the lion and bowed.
“Will you have fish balls, snowballs or
cannon balls ? " he asked.
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"I'LL HAVE A LITTLE FRIED HAM! SAID THE LION.
7!
. “I think I will have a little fried ham!
His Highness answered grimly, staring fixedly
at the poor man.
IOO


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

Shem and Noah over the head and sent them
sprawling on the floor, where they lay blink-
ing up at the ceiling." -
“ The next chap that lays hands on me, I'll
drill full of holes," he growled.
The lion strolled down toward the unicorn
u ////////////”
§;
is
is


TI-IE LION STROLLED TOWARD THE UNICORNI
and smiled kindly on him. “We've stood by
each other before now," he said, “principally
on coats-of-arms and over swell shops, and so
we'll have to stand by one another again, I
guess I "
“Do I get my dinner, or don't I?" thun-
dered the elephant, waving his trunk in a most
l
102


Andy's- Adventures on Noah's Ark

“I think it must be Iceland," exclaimed
“ Ossy " to Andy.
“Iceland nothing I" growled a polar bear,
who was heading the expedition to find the
North Pole.
“What is your opinion?" asked the timid
sheep of Andy. -
“ Well, I can tell you what it looks like—it
looks exactly like Floating Island, and it's the
nicest kind of pudding I know of!"
- 104


A Swell Musicale

\
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105


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CHAPTER VII.
A SWELL MUSICALE.
ANDY glanced down at the water and
noticed that it was a pale yellow, and
thickish.
“I'll bet this is a custard sea I" Leaning
over the edge he dipped a finger in the liquid
and then put it to his lips.
“ Crackyl It's good!" he cried. Every-
body followed his example, and the giraffe had
the best of it, because he had so much neck.
The lion pulled a quill out of the porcupine,
which he said worked better than a straw,
and before five minutes had passed all the
animals were leaning over the side of the ark
sucking in soft custard through quills; all
except the poor porcupine, who hadn't one
left.
107


Andy's Adventures ‘on Noah's Ark

Suddenly there was a shock and a dull thud
as the ark ran into the Floating Island. A
great mass of the glistening stuff, nicely fla-
vored with lemon, stretched out before them;
and then all the animals began lapping it up
or guzzling it down, each one according to his
bringing up.
Everybody aboard the ark was so busy eat-


ing the floating island that no one noticed
how‘ dark it was getting. The sea had
changed to its natural green color, and big
billows set the ark to pitching and rolling,
the motion growing more violent with every
second.
108


A Swell Musicale

Salty spray dashed over the deck and
spoiled what was left of the pudding, and
presently the poor animals, who were not any
too steady on their feet anyway, toppled over
on their sides and lay strewn about the deck.
Their little wooden legs being perfectly
stiff, they could not get up themselves, and
kind-hearted Andy, with the ever-obliging
Captain Jinks, went around putting the ani-
mals upright. This was rather disheartening
work, as they promptly fell over as fast as
they were righted. Noah and all his family
were also lying on their backs, the little round
bases on which their feet were glued making
them roll around in a circle.
“ I never was so upset in my life!" inur-
mured the lion peevishly, as Andy set him up-
right for the seventeenth time.
To make-matters worse, great waves that
felt to Andy like warm soapsuds swept the
deck and threatened to sweep everybody into
the sea. Just then Andy heard a cry for help
we


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p A Swell Musicale

A monster wave came dashing over the
boat, and the next second a poor sheep went
floating by, bleating feebly.
“ Something has got to be done ! " remarked
Andy decidedly.
*‘ The 1nutton's done—very well done, I



should say," muttered Jinks, pointing to the
disappearing sheep.
“Come, Jinks," ' cried Andy ; “ help me
carry everybody indoors." . I
“ Aye, aye, sir!" responded that worthy, and
seizing on the lion, they first escorted him to
a place of safety. Next they made for old
I13


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

Noah, who was rolling around the deck in a
most amazing way. As the two rescuers ap-
proached, Noah came rolling toward them with
such fury that before he could jump aside the
old fellow had tripped up Jinks and sent him
sprawling.
*4».
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“Wot 're yer tryin' to do?" growled that
gentleman, as he scrambled to his feet.
“ I beg your pardon!" cried Noah, in feeble
tones. “But I'm that restless to-day I can't
lie still."
I14


A Swell Musicale

H
It's the force of gravity that makes you
roll," put in Andy, who to tell the truth
was not a little proud of his scientific knowl-
edge.
“Well, do you think that I ought to take
something for it?" inquired Captain Noah,
anxiously. Here he rolled off in a great
hurry. When he rolled back again Andy
said, laughing, “It isn't anything that you
take medicine for. There are several kinds.
For instance, there's specific gravity."
“Well, this can't be Pacific gravity," re-
joined Noah, “because we are sailing on the
Atlantic." .
Andy didn't just know what specific gravity
meant himself, -so he didn't attempt to ex-
plain. “ Come, Noah," he said, “Jinks and I
are going to put you inside the ark, where
you'll be safe. "
“ Look to the passengers first ! "cried Noah,
grandly. “ The captain, you know, is always
the last one to be saved. Take in the others.
115


The North Pole at Last

starting. Here they found most of the cabin
taken up with a long counter with great high
stools before it. The giraffe was the first to
take a seat. Ham stood behind the counter.
He seemed to be nearly frozen with the cold,
and his teeth chattered so he could hardly
speak, “I know what I'll have," murmured
the lion, looking meaningly at Noah's son,
“ I'll have a little cold Ham I"
“ No yer won't I " remarked that fellow sul-
lenly. “This ain't no d la carte bill of fare!"
“ No; I suppose it's cl la ark I " retorted the
lion. “ A joke!' he added savagely, pounding
the table. Everybody immediately yelled and
howled with merriment. .
There were two bowls on the counter. One
was full of oyster shells and the other con-
tained nothing more appetizing than bran.
The giraffe sniffed daintily at the latter.
“Is it perfectly fresh?" he inquired.
“ It's bran new! " said Ham.
“Look here!" yelled the lion, as a few
135


Andy's Adventureson Noah's Ark

started to laugh, “if you get off another
pun like that I'll -lick the paint off you ! "
The poor fellow edged his way up the
counter as far from the lion as he could.
“ What have you got to eat, anyway?"
asked Andy.
“ Oats, peas, beans, and barley," began Ham
in a monotonous tone.
“Is that the menu, or is that a song?" in-
quired a camel, with polite sarcasm.
“You may bring me two quarts of oats!'
said the donkey.
“And I'll have a little of everything!"
eagerly remarked the giraffe.
“ Pig ! " growled the elephant.
The giraffe's mild eyes filled with tears.
“The doctor said that I must eat plenty
of nourishing things," he murmured gently.
“ Try a Ham omelet!" suggested the lion,
with a wink at Andy. -
“Aw! give us a rest on that joke !"
cried the unicorn. “Your jokes are the
stupidest things I ever heard, anyway! "
I36


The North Pole at Last -

“I am an Englishman!" replied the lion
proudly, as though that settled the question.
“ Have you any pie or pudding?" asked
Andy, who, like all the boys, was very fond
of sweets.
“Naw!" growled Ham, who had grown
very ill-tempered. “We don't serve no des-
sert nohow! "
“What ridiculosity!" exclaimed a camel.
“ Where I come from we have very little else
than desert.
All the animals screamed at this joke, and a
H
heavy-weight pig became so hysterical that the
lion and the unicorn had to carry him out in
the fresh air and fan him. He continued to
squeal for a long time after. However, as
the lion amused himself by making sailor's
knots in piggie's tail, it was no wonder.
When the lion returned the animals were
still laughing at the camel's joke, which seemed
to make the lion very jealous.
“ Stop laughing, everybody I" he roared,
137


Andy's Adventures 072 Noah's Ark

and when there was dead silence he turned to
the camel with an angry scowl. “If you do
that again," he muttered, “ I'll put another
hump on your back I "
Suddenly the ark, which had been running
along smoothly and swiftly, came to an abrupt
stop, and everybody rushed for the door—
everybody except the giraffe, who had just
commenced on the bowl of oyster shells.
“Three cheers!" yelled Andy, for there
just ahead of them was the North Pole, sure
enough. On top of it was a weather-vane, and
whichever way it pointed, it always pointed
south.
Andy was puzzled, then his eyes brightened.
“Why, of course!" he said to himself. “ No
matter which way you start off from the North
Pole you are bound to go south. There's no
other way to go !" Did that ever occur to
you, dear reader?
Andy went up to a huge pile of what he
took for snow. He tasted of it and found
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The North Pole at Last

it was the most delicious lemon ice. Then
he made another discovery; a large silver
spoon was already sticking into the tempting
mess. I
“The King will knight me for this grand
discovery of the Pole!" remarked the lion,
swelling out his chest. “ I may even be made
a baronet."
“What did the baron eat?" cried the
giraffe, who had just arrived upon the scene.
“ You make me sick!" cried the lion in
disgust. “I wish to goodness you'd go
away and eat lemon ice till you freeze your-
self."
“ Hurray !" suddenly shouted Andy. “ Come
on, fellows; the Pole is made of peppermint
candy and it tastes bully I "
141


A Horse Doctor and an Accident

143


CHAPTER XI.
A HORSE DOCTOR AND AN ACCIDENT.
ANDY found the lemon icebergs and the
vanilla icebergs so delicious that he had
eaten three of each before he discovered, what
with the cold without and cold within, he was
nearly frozen. The hungry giraffe had been
licking ‘the. North Pole—-which was a giant
stick of peppermint candy, you remember—so
that pretty soon he had worn it almost through
half way up and the upper part finally toppled
over with a crash.
This interesting trophy was carried aboard
the ark by some of the animals. It was decided
to leave somebody to guard it, and as the giraffe
seemed so willing and obliging in the matter,
he was appointed “Custodian of the North
Pole."
In order to warm up a bit, Andy, suggested
I45 ‘


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

us I 1"
a game. Let's dance the Virginia Reel,
he cried.
“ You mean the real Virginia, don't you ?"
put in the unicorn, who prided himself on his
English grammar. “ ‘ Real ' is a qualifying
adjective and should precede the noun."
“ But that isn't the kind of real I mean,"
retorted Andy, laughing. “ The kind I mean
is spelled r-e-e-l, reel."
“Oh I you mean afishing reel," replied the
unicorn, with a nod of understanding.
“What you meant to say was, ‘ Let's wind
the Virginia reel.' "
“ You could make a very nice rhyme about
that," remarked a poetic cow, gently nodding
her head up and down. “ For instance—
How I love to wind the reel,
Oh I the real ‘ Virginia Real,'
While I hear the church bells peal "
Sweet potatoes, and I feel--—"
“ If you feel as you talk, you'd better call
in a doctor," cried the lion, rudely. “ If you'll
146


A Horse Doctor and an Accident

allow me to criticise" (here the lion bowed
low), “ your verses are very tripe—er—I mean
very trite."
“ I still maintain that it is not good form to
say ‘dance a Virginia reel,' " put in the uni-
corn, obstinately.
“ You're talking through your horn I" shouted
the lion, angrily. “ In England we always
call that dance, “ ‘ Sir Roger de Coverlet'—
ahem—-at least, it's something like that."
“ Perhaps you mean Sir Roger de Bed-
spread," murmured a mild-mannered lamb.
“ I'll make a bedspread of your wool if you
don't hold your tongue I" yelled the lion, in a
rage. “Don't you know little lambs should
be eaten and not heard? I've a good mind
to give you a good dressing down for your
impertinence," the angry fellow went on.
“ Sort of a lionaise dressing, eh ? " ventured
the‘ quiet camel. Every one wanted to laugh
at that, but the lion looked so fierce nobody
dared so much as giggle.
147


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

An old sheep muttered something about bad
tempers and unfortunately the lion overheard
him.
“If I hear another word from you," he re-
marked, grimly, fixing a wicked eye on the old
sheep, “we'll play mutton, mutton, who's got
the mutton ! "
Peace-loving Andy cleared the warlike
atmosphere by starting in dancing the reel at
once. Ham and Jinks had just led off, when
suddenly the prow of the ark rose up and the
entire company slid toward the stern and lay
in a panic-stricken heap.
The floor of the ark was a steep inclined
plane, with the animals in a terrible mix-up at
the lower end. The tipping up of the ark had
been so sudden that no one was able to keep
his balance.
Ham was standing on his head, with the
animals piled so thickly about him he couldn't
move, and the poor unicorn had landed on his
horn, which stuck fast in the deck. -
148


A Ho-rse_Docto'r -ana’ an Accident

“ If you wouldn't mind getting off my chest,"
remarked afeeble voice under Andy, “ I should
like to take a breath or two."
Andy with difficulty rose to his feet, and be-
held poor Jinks still grinning, but looking
rather pale. The ark slowly righted itself and
was now again on an even keel.
As Jinks got up the sawdust gently trickled
from a rip in his left leg.
The lion strutted up at that moment, and,
seeing Jinks' danger, he called out in a loud
voice, “ Is there a doctor present? "
An antiquated horse hobbled over, “I am
one," he said, with great dignity.
“ You I" shouted the lion, in his rude way.
“You a -doctor—-why you couldn't cure a ham,
you couldn't !"
The horse paid no attention to this remark;
and Andy turned to him, a bright idea sizzling
in his head. “ You're what they call a horse
doctor, aren't you ?" he said pleasantly. “ I've
heard of them before, but I'd never met one."
149


A Horse Doctor and an Accident

"And what do you suppose I'd be doing
while that was going on?" inquired the lion,
with dangerous politeness.
“ You'd probably be making a few biting
remarks," suggested the camel, with a twinkle
in his eye.
"That puts me in mind of the trying ex-
perience of an old cab horse who took up the
medical profession," remarked the horse, who
was sewing up Jinks‘ leg with some darning
cotton. “He was a fine fellow and so culti-
vated. One day he was called in by a Bengal
tiger, who was suffering with a bad stomach-
ache. ‘Too much fricasseed monkey,' so he
said. Very indigestible dish," added the horse,
looking at Andy. “ Did you ever try it?"
“ No," replied Andy, politely, “I never did."
“ Well," pursued the horse, “ my friend gave
him the usual treatment—a thorough rubbing
with axle grease and a tablespoonful of harness
dressing every two hours until the patient is
better—or worse.
151


Andy's 'A-dv'entures' on Noah's Ark

“ Well, when the doctor asked for his fee—
it's a quart of oats avisit, you kn0w—the tiger
¢ an
said, Not much
“ I should think not. It was little enough !"
cried the hungry giraffe, who was much inter-
ested in the story. -
“ He didn't mean that," explained the horse.
“He meant he wasn't going to pay up. ‘I
have been taken in !' cried my friend, the cab
horse, whereupon the tiger replied, ‘ No, but
you are going to be,' and with that he flew at
his doctor and devoured him on the spot I"
There was quite a pause as the listeners
pondered over the cab horse's sad fate, when
Andy, wishing to change the subject, inquired
of the doctor. "‘ You write ‘M. D.' after your
name, don't you ?"
The horse nodded. ‘
“ Well, what does ‘ M. D.' stand for?"
“ Mighty dull," suggested the lion.
“ More dosing," came from the camel.
“It means ‘ Master of Doctoring,' '- ex-
152


A Horse Doctor and an Accident

plained the _ horse, ignoring the~others' re-
marks. Just then the giraffe, who had ‘gone
on deck, poked about two feet of neck in
through the door to observe :—-“ Noah has
inflated the balloon, and we're sailing through
the air at a great rate. You ought to come
on deck and see the view. It's lovely!"
Everybody rushed for the deck, and the lion,
confidentially linking his arm in Andy's, majes-
tically brought up therear.
There was nothing to be seen but floating
clouds, Already the North Pole and the
lemon icebergs were lost to view.
“ Did you ever see a shoofly ? " inquired the
lion playfully.
“ No, but I've heard a cough drop," retorted
Andy, who was very fond of that brand of
joke.
“What would you call the man who de-
signed this boat we're on?" pursued the lion,
who seemed to be in a jolly mood.
“ I give it up I" cried Andy.
153


Andy’s Adventures on Noah's Ark

" Why, an ark-itect, of course!" replied the
lion, with a grin.
“What fun !" cried Andy. “Why, this is
just like the end- men at the minstrels. Ask
me another conundrum, please."
' Before the lion could reply there came a
loud report, and Andy saw that the balloon
had blown up. The animals seemed to lose
their wits and began jumping off into space,
till only Andy, Jinks and the lion remained
on the deck.
Andy felt they were falling very rapidly.
Things grew misty, and then splash! Andy
had plunged into the water !
I54


Jack-in-the-Box and a Disabled
- Engine

155


\
\
i


CI-I‘APTER X.
JACK-IN-THE-BOX AND A DISABLED ENGINE.
AS Andy rose to the surface he shook the
. water out of his eyes and tried to look
about for help. He could see no distance,
because of the high waves, so the boy bravely
struck out and soon found himself swimming
in splendid fashion. ‘
“Climb up on me if you're tired," said a
voice in his ear. It was the giraffe with his
great long neck towering above the water
like a ship's mast. Andy accepted the kind
invitation, and, shinning up the neck as though
it were the trunk of a tree, he soon found him-
self high and dry.
“ Where are you bound for?" went on the
giraffe. ~
“VI/'hy, I was going to Toytown with Cap-
tain Jinks," Andy said. “But I don'-t- know
157


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

what's become of him. I hope he won't drown,
or anything."
" Not he," said the giraffe. “ He'll turn up
all right. He'll swell up a bit—-sawdust peo-
ple always do in the water. But a thorough
drying out will fix him all right."
They swam on for some time; that is, the
giraffe did. Andy was having an easy time
of it, when they ran right into a dock, which,
because of a certain fogginess, they had not
noticed.
“ Ah I here you are !" cried the giraffe.
“This is Toytown. And now, good-by. Oh,
by the by," he added. “ I'm going up to the
Central Park Zoo next week to visit some
cousins. Will be glad to have you drop in any
time."
“ Thank you very much," replied Andy, “ I
certainly will call." And then he turned about
toward Toytown. The atmosphere seemed to
have cleared. In every direction were straight
roads, bordered by stiff wooden fences, and here
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Jack-in-tfie-Box
and there were the stiffest kind of trees, which
reminded Andy of the toy trees in his nursery.
So did the funny narrow houses that appeared
here and there.
Andy went up to one of the trees and felt
of it. “ Whyl do believe they are just toy
trees and toy houses I " he said to himself.
And, indeed, they were!
At that moment two soldiers—two of Andy's
tin soldiers—came hopping slowly down the
road toward Andy. Apparently they did not
notice him till just as they reached the dock.
Then they stopped short and stared.
“Where did you come from ?" inquired one
sharply.
“ I came on the boat," replied Andy, politely.
“You mean you came off the boat I " said the
other soldier, without looking at Andy.
“ Where is the boat ?" asked the first soldier.
“ Why, you see, it got sunk," replied Andy_
“Who sunk it ? " asked the second officer,
with an angry glare.
I61


Andy’s Adventures on Noah’s Ark

.“iWell, you see," began Andy, “the bal-
loon"
“That's it!" broke in the first soldier.
“Blame something else. I believe you sunk
the boat yourself, and I arrest you!" And
before -the astonished Andy quite knew what
had happened he found himself marched along
the road, with a soldier hopping along on
either side. They did not hold him, and yet
Andy seemed to have lost the power to run.
Then he found himself in a great room filled
with all kinds of dolls, and at one end, behind a
sort of desk, sat two or three tin soldiers—offi-

cers, evidently.
As Andy entered a loud buzz arose.
“What's the prisoner accused of?" asked
one of the officers.
“Of sinking Noah’s Ark, with all on board,
your Excellency," replied one of Andy's guards.
~-‘-‘ What is the evidence against him ? " asked
another officern ' '
“ He's a boy and "

\
162


Jack-in-z/ze-Box '

“ Enough 1" broke in the officer. “ He's a
boy. That proves his guilt. I will now pro-
nounce sentence. He shall have twenty whip-
pings a day for twothousand years. Com-
!) T
mence at once. -
“Wait!" cried Andy, trembling all over.
“Let me explain." '
“ We'll whip you first and let you explain
afterward," cried the officer. “ Men: proceed! "
A hundred tin soldiers with whips and lashes
made for poor Andy. And just then he saw
Captain Jinks running towards him as fast as
legs would take him.
“Save me !" cried Andy to him, in an agony
of fear. ‘
Jinks started in most valiantly to knock
down soldiers right and left, but his unfortu-
nate habit of tripping up soon put him on his
back, where he was at the mercy of the foe.
Suddenly, Andy was conscious of the fact that
he was slowly but surely regaining his right
size and height. - Then with a shout of tri-
I63


Jack-in-t/Be-Box
sudden Andy tripped and fell, and the next mo-
ment he was falling down a dark, deep, well-like
hole. He did not seem to fall very fast, how-
ever, and presently he alighted on the floor of
a toy shop. He felt strange and numb, just
as he did when he took laughing gas, at the
dentist's. '
He sat down in a small chair, and gazed
drowsily at a little square box standing on
the edge of a table. How long he sat staring
at it he never knew, but after a while he saw
a tiny wooden soldier approaching the box.
He was a smart little fellow in a very big hat
and a bright red uniform; and he was straight
as a soldier should be.
When he had hopped up to the box he
rammed his little gun against the hook which
held the cover down, and zip ! up flew a grin-
ning Jack-in-the-box! ~ '
“ Thanks, awfully, old fellow! " squeaked
Mr. Jack, nodding and trembling on his spiral
body. “ It's good to get a breath of fresh air
165 Y


w Jack-in-tbei-Box '

Jack, in a kinder tone of voice. “ Your see, as
a family we're rather athletic, and this being
all doubled up in a small box is trying to the
nerves." -
There was heard a hum of many tiny voices
and the rush of innumerable tiny feet.
A toy railway with its pretty little station
was spread out over the floor. Andy behelda
lot of dolls and some wooden soldiers climbing
in and out of the small cars of a waiting train.
“Oh, dear!" said Andy, wistfully, “I wish
I were little again, so that I could ride in those
cunning cars I "
“ That's easily fixed," replied Jack, pleas-
antly. “Just sit up on this table beside me—-
so‘ I Now close your eyes and think of some
nice convenient size just as-hard as you can
think." ' -
Andy did as he was told, and kept saying
“six inches" half-aloud over and over so fast
that presently it sounded very much like “sick
Injuns." (You repeat “six inches " very fast,
and see what it sounds like.)
167


Jack-in-tfie-Box -
/

soldiers who were fussing at some part of the
engine. Andy found it was one of those
locomotives that go by clockwork, and two of
the fellows were trying to wind it up by means
of an enormous key ; at least, it looked enor-
mous to the six-inch Andy.
As he came up the wooden soldiers
bike mi ,t


stopped their work, and one cried, “Ah!
Here's a boy! He'll know how to wind up
this plaguything !"
“.What's the trouble? " asked Andy.
“It's this way, gov'nor," replied one who
169


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark
seemed to be the conductor. “ Every time we

give half a turn to this 'ere key the old engine
jumps ahead a couple of inches. She's that
nervous she won't stand still till we get her all
wound up !"
“ Dear me I " said Andy, greatly perplexed.
“ I could hold the engine till you wound her
up if I was as big as I usually am I "
“As big as you usually are!" cried the
conductor, in a rage. “ Old Jack-in-the-box
has been showing you the telescope trick. I
call it too bad. We've enough beats on this
railroad already."
“If you call me names, Mr. Wooden-Sol-
dier, I'll kick your old train over I " cried Andy,
forgetting he was just half a foot high.
“Well, well, I didn't mean any offence,"
replied the other, sulkily. “But old Jackie
has been giving me a lot of trouble lately
teaching folks how to get smaller and larger.
Only last week that bloomin' giraffe over
there thought himself down to two inches
i7o


Jack-in-tfe-Box
and bought a half-fare ticket. But what does
he do when once I've punched it ? Why then
he thinks himself one foot tall and fills the car,
so I couldn't carry another passenger.
“ And that isn't all," went on the angry con-
ductor, his voice rising to a shrill scream.
“ He bought a cut-rate meal ticket for the din-
ing car. You know the ticket reads ‘ All you
can eat for fifty cents.' Well, he's two inches
high when he sits down at the table, mind you,
but he thought himself up to thirteen inches
before he got through, and we hadn't so much
as a tin tart left. The company has just made
a new rule which says, ‘ No dogs or giraffes are
allowed aboard these cars.' "
" Where does this train go to ?" asked
Andy.
The conductor scratched his painted head.
“ Well, that depends. We advertise to run
between Nurseryville and Bedland. Last
night we were completely blocked. Some ab-
sent-minded person had left a pair of over-
171



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CHAPTER XI.
THE LION ON HIS YACHT.
WHEN Andy had hopped off the train,
he saw that they had indeed collided
with a steam vessel of some sort.
The captain of the boat, whom Andy made
out to be a small gutta-percha doll, was having
a heated dispute with the engineer of the
train.
“ You're a pretty captain, you are," fumed the
engineer. “What do you mean by poking
your ugly old bow right in our way, and we
behindhand, too ?"
“ Fiddlesticks," yelled Rubber, the captain.
“ When a steam yacht like this 'ere goes
aground, the last thing she'd expect would be a
train 0' cars. I might a' expected a fog, or
pirates, or an ocean steamer; but I've been a
steamboat captain nigh onter thirty years, and
177


Andy’s Adventures on Noah's Ark

this is the first time I was ever run into by a
bloomin' landlubber of a locomotive !"
As Andy approached, they both appealed to
him as to which was in the right.
“ Well," said the diplomatic Andy, “if you


W
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u YOU'RE A PRETTY CAPTAIN I " FUMED THE ENGINEER.
ask me, I should think it depends on what tack
the boat was on."
“ Bless yer 'eart," cried Rubber, “ it was
jes' a plain, ordinary carpet tack, pint end up ;
we runs into her an' o' course we sticks fast."
“ Did some one mention hard tack?" sim-
pered the ever-hungry giraffe, appearing at that

178


The Lion an His Yacht '

moment. “ I hope you have some aboard, cap-
tain, it's my favorite fruit."
“One of these days you'll get a nice hard
'tack of dispepsy," muttered Rubber, with grim
humor. “ And serve you jolly well right, too,
for an old glutton."
“Well, sir, you see the doctor saidl must
have nourishing things."
“Oh, go chew gum," growled the disgusted
lion, who was the owner of the yacht and who
had suddenly appeared on deck.
“ Hey?" murmured the giraffe, who was
slightly deaf.
“ No straw," retorted the irritated lion.
The giraffe's eyes lit up with gentle joy.
“Ah, yes—straw. That reminds me, it was
only yesterday I had a delicious straw hat,
spring style, for luncheon. I wish, though,
I had not indulged in the ribbon dressing. I
didn't sleep a wink all last night."
“I s'pose the band was so loud it kept you
awake," chuckled Rubber. I
179


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

" Look here, my man," remarked the lion
in lofty tones. “I pay you to run my yacht
and not to crack stale jokes."
“ He's jealous, that's what's the matter with
him," muttered Rubber in Andy's ear.
“Hello !" he cried suddenly, “if here aren't
our old friend, Mr. Jack-in-the-Box," here he
held out a grimy hand to the new arrival.
“ Shake," he said.
“ Thankee, I always shake," squeaked the
funny fellow. “My spiral column is that sen-
sitive I'm all ofa tremble all the time—
thankee.”
“ All aboard," shouted Rubber. Then he
added, “ We'll be off in a minute."
“ Off what P" asked the giraffe.
“Off the tack, you ninny," and he added,
turning to Andy, " when we start you bet we'll
fly. This is a swift old tub, let me tell you.
\Vhy, last night we covered two breadths of
carpet in one hour and forty minutes."
“ I shouldn't call that fast traveling," said
180


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark
H 1 n
My yachts a flyer, eh? he chuckled,
proudly.
“ Yes—yes," gasped Andy, “but why does

she go round in a circle?"
“Well, you see," explained the other, “the
rudder got stuck that way."
“ It's a great disadvantage, I should think,"
said Andy. “ 'Cos, no matter where you start
out to go, you never get there."
“ Yes," said the lion. “ There's something
in what you say; but, on the other hand,
think of the advantages. By going around
in a circle you're not likely to run on rocks
and things, then, if it turns very stormy
suddenly, why, you're right near home all
the time."
While the lion was talking, the boat stopped
so suddenly that the lion, Jack-in-the-Box,
and Andy were flung headforemost over the
bow.
When Andy -had picked himself up he saw
that he was standing in front of a doll's house.
~- --- — —
184






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185


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Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

“ Simple enough I" put in the lion. “ Small
door for the small doll, large door for the large
doll. Miss Waxie, you know, couldn't possi-
bly crawl in through the small one."
“ No, but the small doll could go through the
large door I" retorted Andy triumphantly.
“Perhaps the small door was made first,"
suggested Jack. Just then an upper sash was
flung up, and Miss Waxie hung out of the
window uttering short, shrill squeaks like the
“ Mamma I " “Papa I" of a talking doll.
Only now Andy thought she was calling,
“Murder! Robbers I" The big front door
was standing ajar, and with a rattle and a
buzz a little tin mouse on wheels rolled out
and ran briskly off. At the same moment two
absurd looking Brownie policemen came skip-
ping around the corner of the house, and
went in pursuit.
Their method of chasing the little thief was
the funniest thing, Andy thought, he had ever
seen. The two were twins, and kept in step
188


The Lion on His Yacht
\

as they ran. About every six strides they
would stop and make some elaborate side
steps, as though they were dancing the lancers ;
then on they would go again. “ Jiminy l"
laughed Andy. “ If they keep that up they'll
never catch the mouse."
“They don't want to," answered the lion.
“ And what's more, they couldn't‘ if they tried
to. The mouse will run until he is run down,
then he'll have to stop anyway, and then of
course, the policemen will nab him easy
enough."
“ What will they do with him ?" asked Andy.
“Oh they'll take him to court and the judge
will try him," was the lion's reply.
“ Who's the judge ?"
“ An old owl, and very cross and crabbed."
‘ “ Is he a good judge ? " the boy asked.
“ He goes to church every Sunday," put in
Jack gravely. ’
“Oh ! I didn't mean that way. I meant
does he know his business?
189


The Trial oft/ie Tin Mouse

i9i


(;H.~A’PT'ER THE TRIAL or THE TIN MOUSE.
BECAUSE of the extraordinary way the
two brownie policemen- chased the tin
mouse—it was more like a heel‘-and-toe dance
than a chase—Andy and Jack-in-the-Box easily
caught up with them.
The poor mouse was lying perfectly still in
the road. Its little eyes kept slyly looking——
now to the right and now‘ to the-lef't;. other-
wise it betrayed no interest when the brownies;
proceeded to beat‘ a lively‘ tattoo on‘ its tin
back. ' ‘
“ Move along, now. Move along ! " said one
of the officers, sharply.
“ Can't yer see I'm run down?" muttered
the tin mouse, irritably.
“When my father is run down, the doctor
makes him take asmilk. punch every night when
he goes to bed," remarked: Andy. -
193.


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark

“Well," rejoined the second policeman, rub-
bing his chin thoughtfully, “we didn't think to
bring any-milk with us, but we can give the
thief a few plain punches." And with that
they started in to jab the unfortunate mouse
just as hard as they could. When they got
tired of that they proceeded to kick him
furiously.
“When you get through knocking all the
paint off of me you might run me in," muttered
the mouse, peevishly.
“Well, I should think so," cried sympathetic
Andy. '
“We know our business," remarked officer
No. 1. “ We'rejust‘dentifying' the prisoner,"
and he pointed to several big dents in the poor
victim's shiny back.
-“ Dear meI" said Andy, very much inter-
ested, “ I never knew before what ‘dentifying'
aprisoner meant I "
The officers now proceeded to roll the
mouse along toward the courthouse. Pres-
I94 -


The Trial of t/ze Tin Mouse

ently they came to a long, high wall, without
a sign of a doorin it.
“ That is the courtyard," explained Jack,
“and inside the wall is the courthouse."
“ VVhere's the door?" asked Andy, looking
about.
“Well, you see, when they put up the wall
they painted the doors in on the inside, but
forgot to paint 'em in on the outside, so folks
never know jes’ where they are."
Here the two brownies picked up the mouse
and heaved him over the wall, and Andy heard
him light on the other side with a bang and a
rattle.
“What a funny wall !" exclaimed Andy,
walking close up to it. “It shakes as though
it was made of cloth or paper."
“ It's made of plaster," returned ]ack-in-the-
Box.
“What kind of plaster?" ask the boy. -
“Court plaster, of course," retorted the
other ' “and it's great stuff to prevent prison-
195


Andy’'s Adventures on Noah's Ark

ens from escaping. - Every time they try to
they get stuck on it. We've ‘tried flypaper,
1100, but itis not nearly as good as court plas-
ter. Flypaper will tear!"
J:us1: then a screeching was -heard in the
distance.
“ Wha1's that ?" asked Andy.
The Jack-in-the-Box stretched upwards as
far as rhis spiral body would let him and looked
over the top of the wall.
“It's Judge Owl calling the court to "order,"
he said.
“Dear, dear!" cried Andy, in a fever of
impatience, “ we shall be late. Oh, do you
think we shall ever find .a door P" '
“ Possibly we may to-morrow or next week
or next month or next year," replied Jack,
.p-la-cidly, as he :sa.nk gently down.
The boy looked imploringly at the two
brownies, but they had fallen asleep, with .their
-bacles-against the wall. ‘
'--Then Andy had a brilliant idea.- H-e
— ‘ -96
\
in--w-—g——


The Trial of Z/zei Tin Mouse f

whipped ‘out his penknife and "cut -a big vertical
slit in the wall. Then, with two horizon-tal
slits, he made alarge-sized‘ opening, and
through it they all marched. 5 The mouse-was
lying ouietly on his back inside the Wall, and
.\- 1/
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- THE POLICBMEN RAN HIM INTO THE COURT HOUSE.
[the policemen righted him and ran him into
the courthouse.‘ - ~ -
The jury-box was -wi-th~animals,- -and
‘among ‘them ‘recognized ..-?the- hungry
giraffe and- theirascible lion. - The '-latt'er1'nod-
ded genially to him as hewalkecl i-n-.-- --
197


Andy's "Adventures on Noah's Ark

“ What's your name?" the judge asked the
prisoner. - -
"I won't tell l" snapped Mr. Mouse.
The old owl ruffled his feathers and glared
down at the culprit.
“ Tell me your name !" he roared. i
“ Oh, rats!" muttered the angry prisoner.
" O. Rats," wrote the judge. “ Very good."
“Very bad," retorted the other.
“The prisoner admits he is a very bad
character I" exclaimed the owl, nodding at the
jury. “ Please make a note of that."
“Liar, liar, liar!" screamed the now infuri-
ated prisoner.
"Order!" yelled the judge, and the jury
offered such advice as “ Bang him in the head ! "
“ Jump on him l" and “ Kick him !" till it
looked to Andy as though there would be
nothing left of the poor mouse. '
When quiet had been restored the giraffe
was called as witness. I He was just finishing
the remains of a chicken sandwich.
-:- ‘ -

198


The Trial of Me Tin Mouse

“ Tell us what you know about the case,"
said the judge. -
“I was eating my 1unch," said the giraffe,
“ when I saw the prisoner run out olf the house
of Miss Wax Doll and runaway, the police-
men after him. Then the mouse ran down,
the police ran up, and they ran him in—-and—
that's all."
“You talk as though you were trying to
conjugate the verb to run," remarked the
judge, sarcastically.
“Teacher always said I was good at grain-
mar," simpered Mr. Giraffe. “You jes' ought
to hear me decline proper nouns."
“ Ask him to decline chickenisandwich ; I'll
bet he won't l" remarked the lion with a
grin.
“Silence in the court!" screamed the owl.
Then when he had settled his glasses on his
Roman nose, he asked: ‘
“ What did the prisoner steal ? "
“If it please your honor," murmured Miss
F99


Andy's Adventures on Noah's Ark


Wa.x Doll, stepping forward. “Early this
morning, when I was fast asleep, the ‘prisoner
stole a march on me." ‘ --
Every one glared at Mr. Mouse.
“The villain to do such a thing!" cried
Jack-in-the-box.
Andy had to laugh.
“ Hoot mon," screeched the Judge, who was
Scotch, “ Dinna laugh in court."
m“ Pardon me," murmured "theigiraffe, who
awoke suddenly from a nap in the jury box,
“ didn't I hear some one mdntion dinner ?"
- “ Oh, take another nap," roared the lion.
Andy began to feel very sorry for the tin
mouse, and he determined to have him set
free if possible.
“If it please your Honor," began Andy,
“‘stealing a march' doesn't mean that the
prisoner took anything which did not belong
to him."
“Well, whom does the march belong to,
then P." asked the Judge severely. - . ..


M
Z00


The Trial of Me Tin "Mouse I

_ '+*-.1P'erlra:ps ;i'1:'w.as a two-step," suggested -the
glrafle. ' ' . - ‘ . " . - .
“ Same thing," snapped the lion. “ Let the
.eil@:l1arr1: play it on his trumpet and see if ‘it's
any good," l-are adxiled.
“ Oh, dear, you stupid,‘ stupid people !"
cried Andy, trying hard not to giggle. “Why
.can':t you understaznd ‘ stealing -a march ' is only
a fancy kind of way of saying that you have
g1o=t.th:ebestof’ape1'son?".' - .
Y“ That's just it," cried‘ Miss Wasx Doll‘ in a
passion. “ He got the best. If - he'd‘ only
takwn the second best I wouldn't have minded
at all" ‘ -
“If I got it at all 5I' guess I got it in the
neck," 'g-miwled the tin mouse, who sometimes
used slang. . ‘
“Did you find anything on the prisoner? "
asked the Judge of the policeman.
‘“ Noth.in', yer Honor, 'cept a fresh coat of
paint,":rep1ied one brownie.
"‘ Perhaps. he stole that," sugzgestedi the ele-
phant. - ' 7
201 -


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my WIRE nsconnm BY THE GALLANT consist.
but it had never occurred to him to ask the
fellow; so now he waited with interest to hear
what the stiff little commander would say.
-“ Why, it was this way," began the Col-
210


T/ze Hundred-Yard Crawl

onel. “ One dark night about the hour of
twelve (here the dolls shuddered with delight
and Miss \Vaxie murmured ‘ I-Iow romantic l’)
I, with a company of as sturdy soldiers as were
ever turned out of a German toy factory,
started out to capture a strange animal which
had been seen prowling about in the outskirts
of Nurseryville. We were in Bed Clothes
Valley when we caught sight of the monster
rushing about on the top of Bolster Mountain.
Then we lost sight of the foe, but later came
upon his tracks by Bathtub Lake. As it
happened, the water in the lake was very warm,
for Master Andy's papa was about to take a
bath. Now all wooden soldiers with any glue
in their composition should avoid warm water
as you would the plague. But three of my
men—foolhardy fellows—ventured too near
and toppled in." '
“ Mercy! " screamed Miss China Doll, “how
exciting ! Did the poor dears drown ?" "
“ No," rejoined the Colonel, “ yo.u- couldn't
1.1 i1:


T/ze Hundred-Yard Crawl

range of mountains when we were surprised
by a sudden attack on the part of the wild
animal. Before.I had a chance to order a
charge the beast seized me in his sharp teeth
and began tossing me in the air and then catch-
ing me."
“ How horrible !" cried Miss Waxie.
“ Of course, my men did what they could to
effect a rescue," went on the Colonel, proudly.
“But with one blow of his paw the beast
had knocked my entire company fiat on their
backs and senseless. In the course of his sav-
age onslaughts the animal bit off my right arm.
After awhile he got tired of tossing me about
and ran away."
-“ What kind of an animal was it?" asked
Miss China Doll.
“It was one of the canine species," replied
H
the Colonel, and one of the most ferocious
specimens I have ever seen."
“Why, that must have been my fox terrier
Tags l " broke in Andy, with a laugh.
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