Joco-serio. Strange news, of a discourse between two dead giants expressed in an epigram, to one inquisitive for news, and was composed by occasion of a scurrilous pamphlet, entituled, A dialogue between Colbrant and Brandamore, the two giants in Guild-hall London. Which pamphlet was not only intended to abuse this author, and some particular persons by name, but the said city also, in the late election of their Parliamentary Members. Thereto is added an antidote against all ill news whatsoever, which proving effectual to many lately reputed phanaticks, may possibly be vertual to some other. Jeers will be self-condemned, and stingless if contemned. G. W. Wither, George, 1588-1667. 1661 Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-12 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A66757 Wing W3164 ESTC R222291 99833474 99833474 37951 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A66757) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 37951) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2183:10) Joco-serio. Strange news, of a discourse between two dead giants expressed in an epigram, to one inquisitive for news, and was composed by occasion of a scurrilous pamphlet, entituled, A dialogue between Colbrant and Brandamore, the two giants in Guild-hall London. Which pamphlet was not only intended to abuse this author, and some particular persons by name, but the said city also, in the late election of their Parliamentary Members. Thereto is added an antidote against all ill news whatsoever, which proving effectual to many lately reputed phanaticks, may possibly be vertual to some other. Jeers will be self-condemned, and stingless if contemned. G. W. Wither, George, 1588-1667. [2], 6 p. [s.n.], London : Printed 1661. G. W. = George Wither. In verse. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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STRANGE NEWS , OF A DISCOURSE BETWEEN Two dead Giants , expressed in an Epigram , to one Inquisitive for News , and was composed by occasion of a scurrilous Pamphlet , ENTITULED , A DIALOGUE BETWEEN COLBRANT and BRANDAMORE , The two Giants in Guild-hall London . Which Pamphlet was not only intended to abuse this Author , and some particular persons by name , but the said City also , in the late Election of their Parliamentary MEMBERS . Thereto is added an Antidote against all Ill News whatsoever , which proving effectual to many lately reputed Phanaticks , may possibly be vertual to some other . Jeers will be self-condemned , And sting less if contemned . G. W. London , Printed 1661. JOCO-SERIO . Strange News , of a Discourse between two dead Giants , expressed in an Epigram to one inquisitive for News , and was composed by occasion of a scurrilous Pamphlet , entituled , A Dialogue between COLBRANT and BRANDAMORE , the two Giants in Guild-hall , LONDON , &c. FRiend , there is now , no Good news to be had , And , I intend to publish none that 's bad ; For , as Affairs yet stand , it may be treason To speak the Truth , if spoken out of season ; And , though in season spoken , he that speaks it , May suffer by his folly who mistakes it . Yet ( now I think upon 't ) a little scrap I met withall this morning , by meer hap , Which may be safely told : for nor to State Or Church , but to my self it doth relate ; And , it hath made me smile , with scorn , to see What heed , Great men , begin to take of me . The Lord Mayor , & some Aldermen have known me Long time ; yea , men of all degrees do own me With good respect , for whose esteem I care ; And some , who of the best Extraction are . But , that 's no News ; or , none , at least , compar'd To that which now shall be to thee declar'd : For , be it known , that , though obscurely born , I am now honor'd with a Publick scorn ( Divulg'd in print ) as if reputed one Who hath deserved to be thought upon Among those persons , who are in these times Renowned for those Vertues , or those Crimes Which in this Age must punishment receive , Or honour ; and next Age their judgement have , When they , who are no parties in the cause , Shall judge men , both by Gods & Natures Laws . Mean while , their censures must be undergone Who neither know me , nor what I have done : For , they , who never heard of me ; who never Did see me , nor shall hear of me for ever , Take notice of me , to my wonderment , And , not a little to my good content ; Since , peradventure , it may shortly bring My person to be known unto the King , Who , if he truly know me would conceive That , usefully to serve him I might live , Although traduc'd I am by some of them , Who , in another mode , have served him . If thou hast read in Legends heretofore Of big-bon'd COLBRANT and great BRANDAMORE The Giants in GVILD-HAL ; be pleas'd to know That , in a Dialogue betwixt those two My name is mention'd , with as much applause As I could wish , from Champions of that Cause For which they stand ; and to as good effect As I can possibly from those expect , Of whom I never yet much notice took , And , to whom , in my life , I never spoke . These two Goliahs ( things , as big almost As he , who once defied Israels Host , ( And had his Cockscomb crackt by little David , Because himself so rudely he behaved ) These Ascaparts forsooth , I know not how , Pretend to be of my acquaintance now ; And , this is such a Novelty to me That I have sent the same , as News to thee . For , News it is to me , and strange News too , That BUGGS with whom I never had to do , Should shew themselves , in my Affairs as witty As in the great Concernments of their City , Where they have had a place to them assign'd At Publick meetings , now time out of minde . T is News to me , that , creatures of their frame , To any purpose , should repeat my name , Since , probably , they do not know their own , But , are the greatest Block-heads in the Town , Except it be those foolish Pamphleters That , use to write such Dialogues as theirs ; ( Or , base Invectives tending to th' increase Of Discord , by the breach of civil peace ) And , who , mens honest fames to overthrow , Shoot poysoned Arrows from an unseen bow , For , these are much more blockish ; and this Nation Will never thrive , whilst these have toleration . However , this perhaps forewarn me may , That some as mighty , and as wise as they Will mention me ere long , to worse effect , And with a more malicious dis-respect , Than these Detractors hitherto have done , Though me , they seem not , yet to think upon . But , be it , as it must be ; Scorns and Jeers , Have hung so long , as Jewels at mine ears , That , whether my Reproach be less or greater , I shall my self esteem , nor worse , nor better For what , by others , is done , spoke , or thought , Whilst I , think , speak , and do the things I ought . He , that takes heed , what to himself relates , Needs not care what the world , without him , prates This , is my best News , at this present time ; That which it wants in Reason , take in Rime . Farewel . A Postscript . BUt , take this Post script too ( which , whilsta taper One lights to seal it ) shall fill up this paper . Know , this was not intended to Retort Or Vindicate ; but , only , writ in sport . He that asperseth me , himself doth hide Like those Bandetti by the high-way side , Who , cowardly do shoot unseen , and flay Before they dare to seize upon their prey ; Yet , though I knew him , I have lately got So tride a Charm against all Paper-shot , That , onely , smiling on him with disdain ( To let him know he shoots at me in vain ) I scarcely should , by way of complement Spare him so many words , as Marshal spent On his Traducer , when , this Verse he flung him , Nos , ab hac scabie , tenemus unguem . Whose sense is ( in the Language of this Isle ) To scratch this SCAB , my nail I 'le not defile . Know also , that the Cause I do not dread Those fearful Rumours which are lately spread , Is not , for that , I think , or do fore-see Such things , are things impossible to be , For , when I heed , that still the self-same path Is trodden , which an evil tendance hath ; And , that , most men rush forward in that Round Wherein their Predecessors ruine found ; When I perceive the Vices heretofore , Not onely to be still the same , but more ; That , nor GODS Judgements , nor his Mercies , whether Past , present , single , or joyn'd both together Regarded seem ; nor wholsome counsels given By men , or timely warnings daign'd from heaven , But , that , still , wicked wishes , hellish prayers , Revengeful Projects , Jealousies , Despairs , And cursed speakings , daily aggravate That Animosity and secret hate , Which at the first begun our sad Distractions ; And are fomented still in several Factions , Through that neglect of Justice and Compassion Which might effect true Reconciliation ; I fear , what may to other men befall , But , fear not in my own respect , at all , Because , that , whereto things now feared tend , Have brought my hopes already to an end , As they concern this world ; except , refin'de GOD shall restore them , when they are calcin'd . The Rumors which I hear , to me seem toyes , Like Squibs and Crackers which affrighten boyes , For , his Protection I am sheltred under Who speaks in love , ev'n when he speaks in thunder . His Judgements are upon us , but the flame Will burn them , who are kindling of the same ; For , by the paths which I see by them trod , I finde our Foes , are not the friends of GOD ; And , that when all our dross , away is fum'd , They shall be purged too , or else consum'd . He that secures me , will secure all those Who shall their confidence in him repose . No cause have any men to fear ill tidings , Who underneath GODS Umbrage have abidings : For , whatsoe're succeeds , yea , come what will , It comes to them for Good , and not for Ill. That will new-make them , which their foes destroies , Disgrace shall honor them , grief bring them joyes ; Ev'n Death it self , shall be true lifes possessing , And ev'ry Curse be turn'd into a Blessing . Then , all we have to do , is , down to sit Beneath this shade ; all things to GOD commit . Pray to him for our selves , our friends and foes , And praise him heartily for all he does . If this be done , we shall be free from fears , Although the world doth all it can , or dares . G. W. FINIS .