The virgin widow a comedie : vvritten by Fra. Quarles. Quarles, Francis, 1592-1644. 1649 Approx. 138 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 39 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A56843 Wing Q118 ESTC R21344 12682495 ocm 12682495 65686 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A56843) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65686) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 367:2) The virgin widow a comedie : vvritten by Fra. Quarles. Quarles, Francis, 1592-1644. [4], 72 p. Printed for R. Royston ..., London : 1649. Reproduction of original in British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-05 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Virgin Widow . A COMEDIE . VVritten by FRA : QUARLES . CLAUDIAN . Virginis & viduae sunt rara trophaea pudicae , Nec miranda satis spectantibus — LONDON , Printed for R. ROYSTON , at the Angel in Ivie-lane . M DC XLIX . The Stationer to the Reader . THis Enterlude , to sweeten the brackish distempers of a deluded age , is here ( curteous Reader ) to thy judicious view freely offered : having been sometimes at Chelsie privately Acted ( by a company of young Gentlemen ) with good approvement . The Author , whose Divine VVorks have sufficiently proclaim'd his Abilities , may give thee assurance of finding in it , wit , worth , and well-season'd mirth . Invention to quicken Conceipt ; Disposition to beautifie Art . It is confest , that this Dramatick Poem was Mr Quarles his very first Assay in that kind : yet shalt thou collect by this Piece , that He knew as well to be delightfully facetious , as divinely serious . Thy Friend to serve thee , R , . R , . The Actors Names . EVALDUS The King . AUGUSTA The Queene . BELLARMO PALLADIUS MUSEUS The Kings three sonnes . ARTESIO A Doctor of Physick . ROSIA KETTREENA MARINA Artesio's three daughters . PERTENAX FORMIDON COMODUS Husband to Kettreena . Rosia . Marina . LACTUSIA A Nurse . QUACK Artesio's Apothecarie . QUISQUILLA Quacks Wife . QUIBBLE Quacks Man . PHONILLA TRIPPIT The Queenes Maids . MADGE CIS Chambermaids . FRANK A Faulkoner . ANTONY A head Drawer . GLISTERPIPE Artesio's Boy . Two Pages , and Officers . The Virgin Widow . ACT. I. SCEN. I. Formidon . Comodus . For. Comodus , What eye did ere till now behold Folly and madnesse acted to the life ? Co. I wonder Formidon , the King could bear Such sawcy passion with so clear a brow . For. His wisdome knew that Pertenax was far Too mean a subject for his discontent . And rather look'd upon his crack-brain'd words With princely eyes of pity then revenge . Com. Such frantick tearms without the priviledge Of fool or mad-man would have easily rais'd Billowes of fury in the calmest breast , And heav'd a wel-hang'd patience off her hinge . For. Nay , to be basely rude in such a place , Artesio's house , whose roof the King was pleas'd To honour with his presence — Com. Nay worse , at such a time when he was pleas'd to lend Free reines to mirth , and to suspend those cares That claime such interest in th' Imperiall brow . For. Nay , when his fair acceptance crown'd the Feast Of glad Artesio , with his princely thanks ; Nay , when his royall hand had newly laid The Sword upon his shoulders , and receiv'd him Into the glorious Order of a Knight , Then to break out into such basenesse thus — Com. What mov'd him to 't ? For. Nay , he were wise could tell : I saw no cause at all Com. Unlesse it were Some jealous qualme arising from a kisse Too hardly printed on Kettreena's lip By way of welcome to her Ladyship . For. That might well be , for 't was no sooner done But he ( not far to seek for passion Or tearms to vent it ) brake into this fury , And being choak'd with choller left the room : Whereat his new-made Lady pale as death ( No stranger to his passion ) winck'd me out To follow him . Com. I mark'd that passage well , And reading the dumb message in her eye Writ in pale characters , I quit the room To feel his pulse ; whom if I chance to spie I le read a lecture to him : For. So will I. Exeunt . Sir Pertenax . Pert. Were he as many Kings as he has Subjects to abuse , I 'de not endure 't . Come , the plaine truth is , I don't like it , so I don't , nor should I spare him had he been a King of Gold : What ? should I stood like a fool to be his shooing-horne to draw a paire of hornes upon my head , and turn Pander to his lickerish kisses , while he wipes my mouth with a cod-piece Knighthood ? I 'le hang first . Let him bestow his honour with a vengeance upon those that hold it a good pen'worth on such tearms : For my part I like it not . Have I liv'd these thrice thirty years , to be caught with Chaffe ? Kettreena must be a Lady forsooth , to be more capable of his princely lust . And Pertenax must be dubb'd , and gain the glorious attribute of a right worshipfull Cuckold . Come , these are baits to catch young birds with , and honourable mists to blind ambitious fools with . His politique Majesty has taken a wrong Sow by th'eare . I 'm none of those that for a smile can play the royall Pander , nor like a temporizing Wittold can help my wanton Prince into the Saddle , or hold his Stirrop . Did I not mark the lustfull progresse of his lascivious glaunces ? And how his ugly rowling eyes shot fire-brands at Kettreena's face ? How every word was garnish'd with a wanton smile , and still presented to Kettreena's eare ! His antick gestures , croutches , congies , cringes , complements , and all directed to Kettreena ! While she like a wel-disciplin'd Curtezan could counterfeit a modesty , against her conscience , to whet his lust into an appetite ; and like a coy dissembling Bride , could sit and mince it , and inwardly rejoice to think of future times . — But see they come ; I 'le stand aside and watch . Evaldus leading Kettreena , Artesio , Formidon , Comodus , Rosia , Marina . Evald. Artesio , we shall study to requite Thy bounteous entertainment , and whilst we Possesse th'Imperiall Crown , be confident Thou hast a friend at Court . Come Kettreena , Chear up : W' are pleas'd to set thy Husbands rudenesse Upon the score of Age the Advocate Of all infirmity . Kett. Most gratious Prince , The strength of your known wisdome does appear More eminent in his weaknesse . Pert. A courtly Whore ! Kett. And his extream defects Are by your goodnesse gratiously supplied . Pert. An ignominious Whore ! Kett. For which Kettreena , As duty binds , shall with a gratefull heart Lie prostrate at your feet . Pert. A prostrate Whore ! Kett. And alwaies active to discharge that score Of your high favours . Pert. Hey ! an active Whore ! Evald. Enough Kettreena ; thy fair merits give Breath to our favours , and make virtue live . Exeunt Manent Roscia , & Marina . Ros. I , let them go : Sister , we are too course For their respects . Ma. Methinks we meerly serve Like worthlesse Cyphers to encrease a number . Ros. Or like odde mony in a Taylors Bill Only to be abated : Let them go . Ma. But yet methinks 't is odde , that all the Trumps Should lie in fair Kettreena's hand , and none In ours . Ros. Come , kissing goes by favour ; Let her go With her fair Game . Ma. But that which vext me most , The foolish King had nothing else to say But I was like my Father , when he knowes Comparisons are odious . Ros. Nay worse , His Complement to me was this , That I Bore my years well ; As good h'ad call'd me old , A word far more injurious then Whore . Beare my years well ? What is there in this face To merit such a Complement ? [ looks in her . Glasse . Ma. I like my Father ? though I say 't , I scorn 't : [ looks in her Glasse . Ros. My brow 's not wrinkled . Ma. These my Fathers eyes ? Ros. My teeth all sound . Ma. My Fathers lips like these ? Ros. Cheeks plump enough . Ma. Is this my Fathers haire ? Ros. Eyes quick and clear . Ma. Was h'ever half so faire ? Ros. A double chin ! What Symptons can he gather Of Age ? Ma. Or what resemblance of my Father ? Ros. What secret beauty lurks there in Kettreena That is ecclip'd in Rosia ? Ma. Or Marina ? Ros. True , She 's snout faire ; yet by her favour I Would scarce turn tables with her , though I say 't . Ma. She has a courtly tongue , to breed delight . She has a Husband too ; that is a Knight . Ros. Had he not been the King , he should have known That I was sensible of his affront . Ma. King , or no King , my ready fingers itch'd To scratch revenge on 's face : I like my Father ! Ros. And yet our valiant Husbands could stand by And heare all this , and yet make no reply . When Pertenax impatient of disgrace Could nose the King , and beard him to his face . Ma. Husbands ! Husbands of Clouts . Ros. But , as for mine , I 'le ring his ears a peal of discipline : Ma. I 'le act my part ; and if Marina fails , Let me want fingers , or these fingers nails . [ Exeunt . Artesio . Quack . Art. Then let everlasting health be entayl'd upon the sons of men , and let the curse of a strong constitution fall upon man-kind , if I dis-card thee not : Away , avoid my sight ; must I thus squander out my pretious howers , and wast my wakefull night , to turn Baud to a hundred Marks , and connive at these your avaritious Murthers ? Away , thine eyes are Basilisks , and dart venome at me too strong for Antidotes to resist . Quack . 'T was but once or twice six months , good Doctor be appeased . Art. Appeased ! My fury hath no eares ; my boyling gall breathes up such fumes of bitternesse into my crazy brains , that there is left no place for patience to repose . Quack . I thought so faithfull a servant as I might have deserv'd one life among so many Patients , to put me into a new Suit of apparel , against Easter , without so much adoe . Art. Slave ! shall you be first serv'd or I ? who gave you leave to send my Patients to the shades of death without my licence ! How durst you be so bold to snatch my wel-dealt Cards out of my skilfull hand , whilst I was studious to contrive and make the best advantage to my self ? Quack . He could not by nature have liv'd much longer , Sir , I did but save neighbouring death a labour . Art. What tell'st thou me of nature ? Is not the Patent mine ? Have not I power to produce the twine of fraile mortality , in spight of death , or nature ? Cannot I lengthen out the groaning daies of transitory flesh , or cut them short according to my pleasure and advantage ? Quack . Good Sir , All this I know . Art. Why , varlot , then durst you presume to stop the gainfull practises which I intended ? When as the saplesse Stock could thrust no further Branches forth , worthy our notice , you might have then by permission , done your will upon him for your best advantage : When we had taken the first crop of his exuberous bags , you might have then made bold to eat the Rowens ; Till then your insolence exceeded our Commission . Had he been born to swim against the stream of fortune , or tortur'd in the stubborn schools of daring Resolution : Or had his hide-bound purse preferr'd his sacred wealth before the lingring hopes of costly health — But thus , to ravish from our thriving hand a man of Fortunes , one that desir'd to take up life at Interest , nay to buy his languishment at so profuse a Rate , denies all thought of Patience . Away , Avaunt , begone , No more Artesio's Servant now . Bad be those Drivers that unhorse the Plough . Exit . Quack . Is it even so ? Quack's thread is fairly spun , Quack may go home again , his market 's done . Sir Pertenax . Formidon . Pert. Is there never a Statute throughout the Volumes of the Law , that tolerates a man to hang himself ? For. If there were , it was repeal'd in the next King's Reigne , for a great inconvenience that grew upon 't . Pert. The more 's the pity : To my thinking it were a very fine harmlesse exercise . For. Why ? there 's a custome for 't , for those that will seek the Rolls , and have such Wives as I with Cornelius his motion in her mouth . Pert. Come , you are happy , the disease lies at that end ; I would my Baggage would speak till her heart ake so she did lesse . For. Fie Pertenax , wrong not sweet innocence so much . Had but the Stars been pleas'd , would our Wives had been like our Indentures made enterchangeable : Comodus and I pick'd out both the vices , and left the virtue for you . Never could any but Artesio that by art can alter his constitution as he lists , been Father to three such different Daughters . Marma vents her spirit by the Nayles , my Rosia , hers by Tongue ; and Kettreena hers by Tears : which like fluent Orators , plead a soft heart , a sweet nature , and a high spirit qualified with a mild discretion , and a harsh Husband . Pert. Every one knowes best where his shoe wrings him : She 's mild enough , and that the King knows , I fear to my cost . For. And though I say 't before thy face , she 's fitter for a King then such a testy fool . But who comes here ? Comodus ? Ent. Comodus with a night-cap , and a scratch'd face . Com. From Harpies nayles , from Furies whips , From all sharp noses , and thin lips ; From two-legg'd Cats with thrice nine lives , From scalding woort , from scolding Wives , From ful-mouth'd blasts , from female blowes , From smooth-fac'd Sluts , from sharp-nail'd Shrowes ; From wounds t' inflict , from plagues t' inflict me , My Genius blesse , my Stars protect me . For. Now Comodus , what means this desperation ? What Fury has possest thee ? What strange fit Usurps thy patience , and beclouds thy brow ? What means this strange Militia in thine eyes ? Who rais'd this storm ? Has Age or Wedlock lent thee This sickly Night-cap ? Tell us what 's the cause Of this dull change ? Com. I have a Reason for ' 〈…〉 For. I fear , I fear , some Oeconomick fire Hath late been kindled : Tell us what 's the cause Of these sad looks ? Com. I have a Reason for 't . For. Disclose it then : Come , if the Bile be ripe 'T is best to launce it : A revealed grief Invites to cure , lies open to relief . Com. He that can still the Thunder , or asswage The flames of sulphrous Aetna , or command The hideous powers of infernall Spirits Resolve for vengeance , he , and only he Can cure my grief : Marinas louder tongue Out-rores the Thunder , and her flaming eyes Out-scorches Aetna : Her impetuous rage Out-devils the whole Academe of Hell . Pert. Blowes the wind there away ? What ayles thy face ? Com. 'T was lately harrow'd with her Harpy nailes . Pert. Why didst not pare them then ? Why didst not stop her viperous mouth ? Why didst not drive those troups of Devils From her stormy tongue ? Com. Bid me go snatch a daring Thunder-bolt , Or twi-forkt lightning from the hand of Iove : Bid me go stop the flowing Tides , or stay A singing Bullet in her middle way : Bid me go tame a Dragon ; or restrain The Armes of Furies bent to high revenge , This were an easie taske ; nay , easier far To slack Hels flames , then quench Marina's rage . For. Nay , then thy case is desperate , farewell . Exit . Com. Who finds a Shrew , need fear no other Hell . Exit . Pert. Such Devils 〈◊〉 be tam'd ; But when the Ram Begins to butt , ô there 's both Devil , and Dam. Exit . Augusta , Phonilla , Trippit . Aug. But Trippit is this certain ? Trip. Yes as sure Madam , as fame can make it : 'T is the voice Of the whole Court , whisper'd from ear to ear . Pho. Madam , let not your easie faith relie Too much upon the voice of babling fame ; The Court is grown so vain , that it beholds All in extreams , and in ownes nothing good But what it censures evill . Aug. There 's no smoake Without some fire : Report must have some ground . Trip. Nay Madam , it is gone so far , that they Stick not to stile her by the name of Queen . Aug. That 's far enough a conscience , but I hope The faire Kettreena will be pleas'd to stay Till we resigne , ordie . Pho. Madam , believe it not , The Court is too censorious , and will tax The innocency of a very smile : They weigh our reputations with the scales Of their own loose conceits , and our good Names , Though nere so faire , must be allow'd by them , Or given for light . Aug. But is she stiled Queen ? Pho. Yes , by that frantick fool , old Pertenax Her jealous Husband , whose malignant eye Reads rank Adultery in a harmlesse smile , And construes friendly mirth , and faire deportment No lesse then Whoredome , and a crime that 's fit To suffer an Aspect more grim then death . Trip. Such looks as his are sowre enough to fright Diana from her chastity : And who Ere canoniz'd Kettreena for a Saint ? Or took the King for more then flesh and bloud ? Aug. There 's something in the wind , that here of late The King is more estrang'd in his behaviour Then he was wont ; His language more reserv'd ; His thoughts so various , that an easie eye May read some alteration in his brest , I fear , I 'm wrong'd . Pho. Madam , let not such thoughts Possesse your fancy , or disturb your peace : Evaldus is a Prince too noble , and too just To be surpriz'd by any eyes , but yours , The only stars whereby his fortunes fayle . Aug. But has he Knighted Pertenax ? Trip. Yes Madam , And whispering joy in his new Ladies eare , He feal'd it with a kisse , which Pertenax Could not digest , but straight brake out in flames At old Artesio's House , where he was late Received as a self-invited Guest . Aug. 'T was kindly done : Evaldus has his end ; Fire will want heat when beauty lacks a friend . Exeunt . Eval : Bellar : Pallad : Museus , Artesio , Formidon , Comodus , Kettreena . Evald. Let 's hear no more on 't . Come , sheath up your swords , And as ye love my quiet and your owne , Let 's hear no more on 't . What ? have I three sons , And nere a wife one ? Ye are both too blame To raise such Tumults , and to sow these seeds Of factious discords in our setled State . Away ! Each one to his Command : For you Bellario , and Palladius , we shall find A speedy way to let you understand Whose is the Birth-right ; and since the pleased Fates Have made so little difference betwixt you By your twin-birth , in your Aspects and marks Doe you the like in your united hearts Till time and our best care shall bring to light Our true Successour in our doubtfull throne Stand both contented , And let your contentions Find out no object , but obedience . And you Museus , whose unrivall'd thoughts Have pitcht their Territories , far more safe Where you enjoy more happinesse , more rest Then he that wept for want of Worlds to win , Whose boundlesse limits , and more vast confines Extend from th' Artick to th' Antartick Pole , And in the Closet of thy Contemplation , Canst sit and blow new Worlds like bubbles ; then Demolish and dissolve them at thy pleasure , Advise thy factious Brothers : Let them know That Birth-right which they strive for can but make A king at best , and fill their Armes with Ayre ; Their Lives with dangers , and their Crowne with care . Mus. Sir , I 'le doe my best t' advise . Bel. & Pal. And we t' obey . Bel. Crownes are too great , Pal. For breath to blow away . Exeunt Bell. & Pal. Evald. Artesio , say , what discontents have rais'd These clouds , that over-cast thy chearfull brow , And make sad weather in Kettreena's face ? Art. My age , most gracious Soveraigne can expect Small sun-shine in this world : My wasted years Find little relish in these worldly toyes . Evald. Chear up Artesio , If our favours can Quicken thy joyes , and make thy times more sweet Thou shalt not want them ; We shall bend our care For thy advancement , and thy Childrens good . But say , Artesio , what disastrous evill Hath stampt thy looks with these late sad impressions ? Kettreena , tell me , for thine eye appears An equall sharer in his silent tears ? Ket . Most ex'lent Prince , my Fathers tender care And dear affection , looking on my merits With multiplying Glasses , and conceiving All happinesse too little for my heart , Thinks ( though perchance without just ground ) that I Receive not those sweet comforts , that should spring From the blest bounty of conjugall love : But I lesse conscious of my own deserts . Complain not of my fortunes ; but joy , rather To find the sweet indulgence of a Father . Art. O that these cursed fingers had been struck With a dead Palsie when I tied that knot , And these gold-blinded eyes when they survey'd His vast possessions , had been strucken blind : Poore Girle ! Eval . But how can Pertenax devise To wrong such patience ? On what just ground Can he pretend to build the least distast ? For. Upon her noted virtue , by which light His ugly vices doe appear more bright . Com. Which then reflecting on his conscious soule Affrights him into madnesse , who , enrag'd Flies in the very face of all desert . Evald. Well , good Artesio , what 's not past our help Shall be redrest , We 'l paliate the disease We cannot cure , and with our favours strive To hide the wrinkles of curst Fortunes brow . In which respects , Artesio , we are pleas'd To make thee our chief Doctor to attend On our owne person ; likewise for the trust Repos'd in thy fidelity , we make , And choose thee here a Counsellour of State . Thee Formidon for thy sweet Rosias sake Artesio's Daughter , we appoint and choose Attourney-Generall for our Royall Causes : Thee Comodus the Master of our Mint . Omnes , Long live Evaldus our most gracious Lord And Master . Exeunt . Evald. Go Museus , see them sworne . Kettreena , stay , we have a word t' exchange : Sit down Kettreena : Here 's an empty Chaire Invites thy presence ; Come , why com'st thou not ? Kett. Most gracious Soveraigne , That 's a seat not fit For Subjects ; Sir , be pleas'd to lay commands My duty may not blush to-execute . Evald. Lay by your Complements , Kettreena , Come Repose by us ; We 'l warrant our Commands . Kett. Excuse me Sir , and let this bended knee ( A posture far more fit ) attend your pleasure . Evald. Nay , rise Kettreena : Something tels my heart Thou art too blame : Sit here ; We 'l have it so . Sits downe . So , now Kettreena , time and place conspire To give advantage to my long desire . Shall I not seem too curious to propound A harmlesse question , to thy private eare ? Kett. In confidence , your grace will not command Beyond my power and honour , I obey . Evald. Then tell me sweet Kettreena , and tell true , Had peevish Pertenax the maiden-head Of thy Affection ; did thy heart nere flame Untill his amorous Bellowes blue the fire ? Kett. Sir , were it not too high presumption to enquire The cause of your Command — Evald. Nay , blush not Lady . 'T is nor sin nor shame To tell the secrets of so sweet a flame . That blush has half resolv'd me ; what remains To clear my doubt , let thy faire words produce . Kett. Sir , wer 't a Sin , my Sin would not despair That have my Sovereigne to my Confessour : Sir , I was nere so wise above my Sex To blast Affections blossome in her spring , Nor yet so nicely foolish to deny That passion which has conquer'd more then I. Evald. Liv'd there a Soule subjected to our Crowne , So blest in his deservings , as to find So great a favour at Kettreenas eyes ? Kett. Sir , may your Subjects flourish with desert To merit such a Prince , but — Evald. But ? but what ? Speak on Kettreena . Kett. Let your Grace Excuse my blunt abruption . Evald. Come , speak out , Thy full perfection can no way admit Imperfect languages . Say on ; but what ? Kett. But , 't was no subject , gracious Prince of yours That first enthrall'd my heart . Evald. What was he then ? Was he some foraine Prince in a disguise That came to rob our land of such a prize ? Tell me Ketreena , if thou darest repose So great a secret in Evaldus brest . What was he for a man ? Of what condition ? From whence ? What were his fortunes ? his Allyes ? Kett. Most gracious Soveraign , what , or whence he was I cannot well relate : So many years Have pass'd since then , that my remembrance may Well plead her frailty : Whatsoere he was , A Pilgrims weed eclips'd him . Evald. Could thy heart make a sad Pilgrim Th' object of thy love ? Kett. Sir , I was then but young , and my affection Could find no Tutor but her owne desires Which curb'd my nonag'd reason , with a hand Too too severe for councell to withstand . Evald. I wonder how a Pilgrim durst attempt So strong a taske ! upon what hopefull grounds Could he presume to build his vain desire ? Kett. The ground of Love is love : And the direction Which meer affection takes , is meer affection . Evald. How long Kettreena since thy soft desire Relented first at thy bold Pilgrims fire ? Kett. Fates blesse the token : Even that very year Your highnesse first set happy footing here To tie that blest , that royall knot between Your sacred self , and our as sacred Queen . Evald. But did that Pilgrim never since appear Discover'd to thine eye ? Kett. Great Sir , mine ear Was never since made happy with the newes That he is living , for whose sake I wear These weeds of mourning : True , the great desire Of my wel-being urg'd my Fathers heart To match me to a wealthy discontent , But my Obedience thwarted my Affection , And made me prisoner to a secret vow , Which I have kept as spotlesse as my name . Evald. Has not thy Mariage-bed dissolv'd that vow . Kett. Although I live sad Pertenax his Wife , Yet shall I prove his Virgin when I die . Evald. Tell me Kettreena , do'st thou know this Ring ? Why do'st thou start Kettreena ? Do'st thou know 't ? What meanes these teares ? What meanes this change of weather ? Tell me , Kettreena , do'st thou know this Ring ? Kett. Sir , too too well , And in this Ring I read The secret story of my Pilgrims death : Heavens rest and all my joyes be with him ; Sir , He was too good to live , and wretched I A slave to life , not good enough to die . Evald. Come , come , Kettreena , let those pretious drops Forbear to trickle : Come , thy Pilgrim lives And fares no worse then I : I am the man . Kett. Abuse me not great Prince : O punish not My rude ( but yet obedient ) boldnesse thus : Deride not her whom fortune hath deprest , And hath a loyall , though a troubled brest . Evald. 'T is I that was that Pilgrim , and disguis'd Wandred this land ( whose Crowne I was fore-told By our Chaldean Prophet should be set Upon my Temples ) and directed to Artesio's house ; I found that very face His Glasse presented to my wandring eyes In viewing thee , whom he mistook as Queen , And read my Regall fortunes in thy love ; Adding this prophesie , as yet untold , She that gives thee the first Ring Shall crown thy head , and make thee King . This is that Ring , which given thou drop'dst a tear , And whispered'st thus : This Ring is Cupid s Sphere . 'T was I , to whose safe trust thou didst repose A secret , which this tongue shall nere disclose ; These were the lips which gave thee that advise , My judgment thought most fit , and thine approv'd . Kett. I am convinc'd dread Soveraigne , and amaz'd , My trembling heart 's surpriz'd 'twixt joy and fear . Evald. Fear not Kettreena , I am still the same , And so art thou , excepting this alone : Thou found'st a Croffe , and I have gain'd a Crown , Which I 'le renounce , and call no longer mine When it shall cease t' advance both thee and thine : And for a Pledge , we tender on our part Our royall hand ; with it a reall heart . Kett. Your hand 's enough great Prince ; as for the rest I 'm not ambitious now . Evald. Be not deceiv'd My sweet Kettreena , there 's no dregs of lust Defiles that bosome thou so fear'st to trust : 'T is fair and spotlesse , and contrives no end But what may merit so divine a friend . Kett. I question not ; And for that heart , return A heart ( though far unequall , yet ) shall burn With equall fires . Evald. And let Kettreena know Nor time , nor fortunes shall have pow'r to show The shadow of a change : And mark how long Times hower-glasse shall measure out my daies . Ent. Augusta , Phonilla , Trippit . Till then — But hold ! The Queen prevents the rest . How now my dear Augusta ? Art thou come To give 's a visit ? Love , 't is kindly done . Aug. I fear my Lord the King , my blunt accesse Hath given the privacies of your discourse Too quick a period . Evald. No , no my dear , At thy approach , all businesse does appear Like pale-fac'd stars before the rising Sun . Aug. Madam Kettreena , I must give you joy . Kett. Me joy , most excellent Princesse ! Pray , for what ? Aug. Nay , never blush : I say , I wish you joy . Kett. I thank your Grace , Be pleas'd to say , wherein . Aug. Of your new Ladiship : Come , now you know . What ayles my Lord the King ? Are you not well ? Evald. Why ? dear Augusta . Aug. Cause ye look so pale , Your colour 's gone into Kettreenas cheeks ; But are you well indeed ? I wish you joy , too . Evald. Thanks sweet Augusta : Tell me dear of what ? Aug. Of your new Servants that you made to day . But I transgresse : My Lord , the King , Farewell . Evald. What haste Augusta ? We 'l together hence . Aug. Madam Kettreena — Offers the place Kett. Lord ! what means your Grace ? Aug. Excuse me Madam — pray — Kett. Your Highnesse now Make me ridiculous . Aug. You 'l wrong your self — Exeunt . ACT. II. SCEN. I. Quack , reading a Bill . MIstresse Penelope Trippits Bill , Aprill 20. For 2 ounces of syrrop of Savin , and keeping her councels 0 -- 13s-4d Item for one ounce and a half of surfling Water 0 -- 7 -- 6 Item for a glasse of the best Mercury-water , and a box of Pomatum — 0 -- 6 -- 8 Item for 2 ounces of Talk 0 -- 2 --- 2 Master Lustybloods Bill , Iune 9. For a Sweating Chaire 0 -- 10 -- 0. For a Purge 0-3 -- 4. Item for the same again 0 -- 5 --- 4. Item for Turpentine Pills 0 -- 3 --- 2. Item for a Diet drinke 0 -- 10 -- 0. Item for a Serynge 0 -- 2 -- 6. Item for fluxing his body 0-12 -- 0. Item for 2 penny-worth of Diascordium 0 -- 1 --- 1. summ. tot . A prety Reck'ning ! As I am a virtuous ' Pothecary , I know not how to subsist . Here 's all that 's comming to me , and that 's not to be expected till Christmas , if paid then . Gentlemen , I am in a very skirvy case . Artesio has turn'd me out of his service , and I must break . What shall I doe ? I must play the good Fellow abroad , and then my Wife plaies the Devill at home . How can the one be maintain'd ? or the other endured ? I have pawn'd already her Tuftaffaty Peticote and all her Child-bed linnen , besides two tiffiny Aprons , and her bearing-cloth , for which I have had already two curtame Lectures , and a black and blue eye . But stay ! my satten Dublet had yet a good glosse , and her silk mohaire Petticote and Wastcote will make a good show in a Country Church . Nay , my credit will yet passe in Bucklers berry for five pounds worth of Commodity , which with the help of a gold Night-cap , a few conjuring words and a large conscience will go far , and set me up in a Market towne , where I may passe for a Padua Doctor : 'T is but Italianating my name , garb , language , and habit , and then Seignior Quackquinto may practice as safely , kill as ignorantly and innocently as Artesio himselfe , or any Doctor in the King's Dominions . And when my Name is once but rais'd upon the wings of popularity , the better sort will hold it disparagement to their judgments not to magnifie Quackquinto , and rather not be sick at all , then to be counsell'd by Quackquinto ; Every disease will call upon Quackquinto . If any foolish Lord be sick of a Plurisie of Gold , who must be sent for but the Italian Doctor , Seignior Quackquinto ? If any love-sick Lady would take a Pill to purge mellancholly , who must be sought to but the Italian Doctor , Seignior Quackquinto ? And then so honourable will the Name of the Italian Doctor be , that he 's not fashionably sick that will not advise with Seignior Quackquinto . But the way to proceed is not to stay here . Exit . Museus . So , Let their ambitions clime and shake the tree , When the fruit falls 't may chance to fall to me : I 'le stand below and watch ; They seldome fall That keep their Stations , and not clime at all : Low fortunes find most rest , abide most sure , When lofty Cedars shake , Shrubs stand secure : Bellarmo will be Prince : Palladius , he Assumes the self-same Title : Both will be Evaldus Heires , both Kings ; both joyntly scorn The stile of Subject : Both will be first-borne : I , let them jarre ; And let the golden Apple Remain still doubtfull ; Let them grasp and grapple : Museus , stand thou Neuter : Oft 't is known , When two Dogs fight , the third does catch the bone . Exit . Rosia , Marina , Quisquilla . Ros. Had I imagin'd Kettreenas Ladiship had been no worse , I should have made bold to owe her this visit a day longer . Ma. For any thing I see , she may live til all her friends be weary of her . Quisquilla , what brought thee thither ? Did her Ladiship send for thee to watch ? Quis. Truly , I heard she was very ill , and when I came , I found her very ill . Ma. Some Qualm ! May be she 's breeding of a young Prince . Ros. Or sick of an old Knight : Methought she lookt very peevishly : If he 'd but drop out of the way a little , she 'd be well enough . Quis. Nay , indeed , they say , if Ladies , be not ( as it were ) sick once a fortnight , they forfeit their Honour . Ma. Why , then Quisquilla , thou thinks she 's but a little sick of course . Ros. Introth then , our visit is sutable to her disease . Ma. For my part , if her Ladiship had been sick to the heart I should ha visited her with a better heart ; But sirrah , I believe our welcome was as hearty as our visit . Quis. Truly , I believe you had been more welcome , if you had staid two minutes longer . Ros. Prithee , why Sirrah ? Quis. Nothing , but only her Maid could not find the perfuming Pan , to take away the smell of the — Ma. Of the what ? Prithee Quis. what was the matter ? I know by thy simpring , thou hast some Roguery at thy tongues end . Ros. Prithee Quis. out with it . Quis. Shall I ? but as I live , ye must say nothing . When she first heard of your coming , her Ladiship was heartily tugging a piece of sod Bacon , and fearing ye would come up a little too soon , as in truth ye did , her Maid for haste hiding it under the bed , it slipt into the chamber-pot . Ma. The best that ever I heard , She should ha thrown a few oynions after 't , and stued it for the old Knight , Quis. 'T had been good enough for such an old miserable hound , to allow a sick Lady so course a diet . Ros. Sirah , we have Husbands bad enough , but not so bad . Ma. Gramercy good Wives , that won't be such fools to endure it . Quisquilla , I think thy Husband is no Saint neither . Is he ? Quis. Yes , of the Devils canonizing , Would I had been hang'd the first hower he saw me . Ros. Why ? what 's the matter , Quis ? Quis. What ? All that he gets he spends , and all he can find he pawnes : Yesterday , he broke open my chest and pawn'd all my child-bed linnen , and to day my Taffaty petticoat , and my best purld Gorget , and to make up the matter , he hath plaid such pranks that the Doctor has turn'd him out of his service . Ma. Why do'st not discipline him ? Quis. Discipline him ? If I counsell him , he stands like an Asse and casts up his ugly gray eyes : If I ring him a peal he slights me with his silence , and that which vexes me to the heart , stands and whistles . But if I live till to morrow , for I know he 'l come in drunk to night , I 'le whistle him , y'faith I wil ; I 'le make him know what 't is to whistle a Wife , the longest howre he has to live , y'faith I will . Ros. A G●rle worth Gold . Mar. Come , lead away , let 's go . Quis. She 's a meer fool , that sometimes is no Shrow . Exeunt . Quack , Lactusia . Quack . As I live and hope to be a Doctor , 't was for nothing in the universall world but for killing a rich Patient of his a little before his time . Lact. That was a poor thing to turn away an old Servant for , especially a man of your profession . Quack . 'T was nothing else as I am virtuous . Nay more , He was a slow Pay-master too , and took Phisick upon the Ticket . Ah Madam , had he conniv'd a little , I had clearly gain'd a hundred Marks by his death . Lact. How ? Quack . His younger Brother , a fine Gentleman , laid me a hundred Marks he would live till our Lady-day . Alas ! I did no more for a considerable summe then my Doctor has done a hundred times for nothing ; I 'm sure I have been a gainfull Servant to him , and that he knows right well . But the truth is , he has no more conscience with him then the dog has : How often have I left out the chief Ingredient out of his Receits to prolong the Cure for his profit ? How often dropt in a Dram of a malignant quality into his Dose to make a Cure for his gain ! Nay , as I am an honest man , out of my rank affection to him , at my owne cost and charges kept a brace of hot Creatures in Ordinary to help yong Gentlemen to their Diseases for his sweet sake : Had I been a knave , his Daughters had wanted many a satten Petticote . And thus my honest dealing is requited : But 't is no matter , There 's more waies to the wood then one . I have corruption enough in me to make a Country Doctor . And 't is no new thing to build up a new Phisitian upon the ruines of an old broken ' Pothecary . Lact. Quack , you have a voluble tongue , and can easily work upon the ignorant multitude , I could rather wish you to turn Mountebank , What think'st thou of that Quack ? Quack . Madam , I doubt not but I could cheat the King's liege people as plausibly as another , if the King , or any of his mad Sons would give me a License . Lact. As for the King , Artesio is in too great favour with him . But Prince Bellarmo will do 't if you make the means . Quack . Your Ladyships word in my behalf will soon be heard , for which , I shall present you with a New-years-gift a hundred Marks thick . Lact. I 'le move his Highnesse in 't . Go get a License drawn for him to signe . Quack . I humbly thank your Ladyship . Exeunt . Pertenax . So they are fat enough , And there let 'em sterve and rot , and let their Children pick their bones . I 'le not abate one single penny . Tell me of mercy ? If their Wives brests want milk , let their Children suck bloud . Their Bonds are forfeit , and I 'le have ev'ry farthing ere they quit those Grates . Hoe , there within , Hoe , Kettreena . [ knocks . Ent. Kettreena . Ket . Sir , did you call ? Pert. O are ye come , Hussif , go fetch my Box of Obligations down , Make haste , away . [ Exit Kettreena . Compound quoth her , I 'le no compounding , Though they are beggers , they have able friends . I wonder ther 's no Statute to brand all Bankrupts in the forehead with a hot iron , that men may know 'em . Nature had been very provident if she had ordain'd that their flesh might ha' risen and fallen with their fortunes , that we Monymasters might have traded without broken slumbers , and ha' known a Rascall from a fat Deere . Enter Kett. with a Box . Pert. O are ye come , give me , give me , quickly , quickly ? [ looks among the Papers . Kett. O that his virtues were enclosed there , And that his honour were but half so deare ! Pert. Iohn Havelands Bond . 300l to pay 150 the sixt of Iune next : Good . What 's here ? Henry Thrift , 400l to pay 200 the 23 of March next : and Good . Humphry Rich his bond to pay the double Interest of 500l for 10 years , and lose the principall : Good . Quack's Bill of Sale of a Tuftaffaty Peticote , and a chest of fine linnen , at 6d per Month in the pound , That 's as good as mine own already . Kett. Ah poor Quack , Art thou come into his clutches ? Pert. O here 't is , here 't is , here 't is , They are both come together . Thomas Badluck , 10l to pay 5. and George ●aile 6l to pay 3. both forfeit , and fast enough . There 's 16l good besides cost and charges , or there let 'em rot . Kett. Deare Sir , let me be a Suiter for mercy upon these two . Pert. Mercy ! then let me never find mercy , if I show 'em any . Kett. I prithee , be good to 'em . They have 15 Children between 'em , and 9 of them are Motherlesse . If they remain in prison , they must all sterve . Pert. Hey , tittle tattle , tittle tattle , tittle tattle , Pray go to your Favorite the King ; he 'l redeem 'em for the tother kisse , or if your kisses are growne cheap , for a nights lodging . Now your Father 's a privy Counsellour you 'l have a glorious Pander . Kett. Sir , you wrong three at once , and your self that 's four , and I have a conscience that 's a thousand will justifie it : but I forgive ye . Pert. Forgive me , ye Court Munkey ! They say y' are breeding and keep your Chamber , and puke a mornings , and eat Caudels and Cordials in a corner to cherish you after your journey , And my purse must pay for all , But I 'le keep you short . Kett. Heaven and my Innocence comfort me : What I breed I fear you 'l justly father ; even that Child will make us both happy . Pert. I father your Bastard ! you extract of Court Impudence ! O that my hand were turn'd to Lyons pawes that I may tear thee to bits . Kicks her and falls . Murther , murther , murther ! Kett. Sir , let my arme assist ye . helps him up . Pert. O I am murther'd ! O my bonds , my bonds , my bonds ! O let me once embrace ye more my deare bonds ! taks up his Box . O my dear bonds . Kett. Feare not , My arme shall hold you up . Pert. O my legge , my legge ! O my bonds , my bonds , my sweet bonds ! [ leads him out . Exeunt Bellarmo . Quack , with a paper in his hand , at one dore . Bel. Quack , But I fear 't will doe Artesio wrong . Quack No wrong at all , my Lord : My practice lies Among the fooles , He deales with none but wise . Bel. I , but you promise cure to their disease . Quack Their mony loads 'em , and we give 'em ease . Bel. Why then you rob them for your own relief . Quack Who takes what 's freely offer'd , is no Thief . Bel. But they expect Recovery of their health . Quack And we accept what 's much inferiour , wealth . Bel. They heal your wants , you fail to help their grief . Quack 'T is true , our sense exceeds their dull belief . Bel. Can then belief give help to their disease ? Quack Faith in the Doctor gives the Patient , ease . Bel. If these be penny-worths , he 's a fool that buyes . Qu. If they be fools , our pen'worths make them wise . Bel. But Quack , I know that Mountebanks are bold , ignorant , and covetous ; and when these three qualities meet and present themselves to the vulgar , who are naturally confident , simple , and admirers of Novelties , like Files , they 'l buz about the flame till they have burnt their wings , nay sometimes scortch their bodies too , and that must not be suffer'd . Quack My Lord , we Mountebanks are in that kind very circumspect : What we prescribe , if it doe no good , we are confident can doe no harme . For most of what we give , carries the bare name of Phisick , but is none . Bel. Why doe ye give it then ? Quack To cure our own diseases , and with the help of a little foolish Faith , theirs too . Bel. But methinks your knavery should quickly be discover'd Quack , what doe ye then ? Quack Why , then we flee to the next good Towne , and there we meet with fresh fooles , where if one among a hundred hap to be cured , he more cries up our credit , then the ninety nine can disparage it . Every Prize hath his Trumpet when thousands of Blanks are swallow'd up in silence , that others may be fool'd as well as they . Howsoever , they depart all satisfied , and I dare say , repent no more of their Sixpences , then they doe of their sinnes . Bel. Well Quack , give me thy paper . Once for old Lactusia's sake , I 'le be accessary to a piece of knavery . [ Signes the License , & Exit . Qu. Thanks noble Lord , y' are principall in my esteem . Now Quack , skrue up thy brains : Provide thee A fit Man , and him a fit Habit , And oyle thy tongue ; that it may neatly cosen Poor Country-fools as they draw doves , by th'dozen . Augusta , Lactusia , Trippit . Lactusia , I 'de have it made up into a Potion , and so convey'd to her . Canst-a make a Composition ? Lact. An 't please your Grace , I le doe my best , but dare not warrant the present working of it . I ha' poyson'd many a Rat , but my practice lies no further . Aug. Art acquainted with no Pothecary , that will take an Anuity of a hundred Mark to doe the feat ? Lact. Now I think on 't , I have one fit for the purpose , a man of a desperate fortune , that will bite at such a Baite . Cornelius Quack , lately Pothecary to Artesio , who is about to get a License to be a Mountebank . Aug. I 'le grant it him , But will he be secret ? Where is he ? Lact. I met him just now . Aug. Go find him , And if he entertain the motion , bring him hither . Lact. I know no fitter man . Exit . Aug. But Trippit , In whose name shall we send it to her ? Trip. No better then in her Fathers , He being a Doctor , and the ( as I heare ) at this time not well , may send it as Phisick to be taken presently . Aug. Had Quack contemned her Fathers Pothecary it would ha' done well , but having left his service , it will breed suspition . Trip. What if it should be sent in a Bottle of Greekwine , as a token from one of her Sisters ? Aug. I believe there 's no such correspondency between 'em , And besides , Wine of that nature will break the Glasse ; and make discovery . [ Ent. Lact. & Quack whispering . What think'st thou of counterfeiting a kind Letter from Evaldus , which shall intimate his notice of her sicknesse , and that he hath sent her one of his own Cordials , wishher for his sake ; to drink it fasting ? Trip. Your Highnesse has hit it . And he may adde , that he hath drunk her health in the same , which may the better indure her to pledge it . It will be a way beyond all exception . Aug. Look , here 's a Letter pend to the same purpose , read softly . Quack . Madam , teach a Miller to be a Thief ; If I doe not like a workman , let my wages be thereafter . Lact. Madam , here 's the man I recommended to your Highnesse . Aug. Bring him near , [ kisses her hand . You are acquainted with the businesse ? Quack . Yes an 't please your Grace , and am ready to perform it . Aug. Let the Cordiall be made of sudden execution , And convey it to her with this Letter . Lact. Will your Highnesse be pleas'd to signe this his License to practice Phisick and Chirurgery in your Majesties Dominions . Aug. Trippit , keep both the License and the Letter , and put us in mind to signe the one , and seale the other , Let 's away . Fellow , be silent , sudden and circumspect . Quack . Your Grace will beare me out in 't . Aug. Doubt it not . [ Exeunt . manet Quack . Quack . So , now my License will have Authority enough . A hundred Marks a year besides , and the Queens Servant ? I 'le venture a hanging upon these tearms at any time . Enter Quisquilla . Quis. Come , Art thou there ? Hah ! Must my fury await your pleasure ! Must my sweet revenge attend your leisure ? Have I nothing else to doe , but to figge from place , from Taverne to Taverne , from corner to corner ? Must I be still yawling , and calling , and bauling for you whilst y' are rambling , and roving , and roaming , and potting , and piping , and driveling and snivelling ! Am I born to trot after you ? to wait upon your taile ? or else like a fool , sit moaping at home , with neither clothes to my back nor meat for my belly , nor a penny in my purse ? Quack . So now the Game begins . Quisq . Must I be thus slighted , and scorn'd , and contemn'd , and undone by a Runnagate , a Sneap-nose , a thin-gut ? Must I daunce attendance after such a shotten herring as you ? be a slave to such a Sot as you ? such a Bul-pated Milk-sop as you ? You a Citizen ! you a Trades-man ! you a Husband ! you a Companion for Gentlemen ! mary , come up ! You must be prankt up in your Satten Doublet , when I ha' scarce a Smock to my back , nor a Shoe to my foot , nor a Tatter to my tayle , nor a hot bit to put into my belly , from Sunday to Sunday . Quack . Heyday , heyday , heyday ! Quisq . And heyday , and heyday , and heyday too ; Go heyday your base Trulls , your three-half-peny draggle-tayl'd Queanes , that can endure your heydayes , and your mocks , and your mowes , and your taunts for an ounce of Coventree-blue . Quack As I went to Walsingham . [ whistles Quisq . Go , ye weasel-snouted , addle-pated , buzzleheaded , splatter-footed Moon-calf . Go whistle your Dogs , and your flap-mouth'd Whores , that ye carried to the Tap-house , and then ran away and left them to pay for the Reck'ning , when they follow'd ye , and rung ye by th' eares , till they made ye roar like your Mother , when she was delivered of such a coxcombly Booby as you . Quack So , is all out now ? Quisq . Go , go ye Sycophant , the dregs of the suburbs , that can murther a Patient for the hopes of a hundred Marks , and then be turn'd out of service for your paines . O how my fingers itch , to set their marks upon those meager Cheeks of thine ! But you Sir know , I have all your Villanies upon the score , [ claps here hands and at the next offence , I 'le call ye to Accompt , and if ye bauke me , then I ransake ye out , and make ye understand The sharp-nail'd language of Quisquilla's hand . Exit Quack It is some comfort yet I find a warning ere I feel the fit . Exit Palladius , Bellarmo , Museus . Pal. I scorn your words , Bellarmo ; My spirit flies As high a pitch as yours , have every whit As good bloud in my veines as you . Mus. Nay good Bellario . Bel. I , to keep for wanton Ladies . Pal. No , to spend in a just cause . Mus. Nay good Palladius . Bel. Come , come , ye dare not . Pal. Provoke me not . Bel. I dare thee to thy face . Mus. Nay , what d'ye mean ? Pal. Meet me with your Horse and Sword . Bel. I will : To morrow expect to heare from me the time and place . Exeunt . Mus. So , now it works like wax : Whilst they prepare To beat the bush , my hound may catch the Hare . ACT. III. SCEN. I. Phonilla . THere 's old whispering between them . Pray heav'n they be not hatching of a Cockatrices egge . Look where they come . Ent. Aug. Lact. Trippit , Aug. Where 's Phonilla all this day ? whispering . Pho. Here Madam . Aug. O are ye there ? My heart 's much opprest with melancholly ! Come Phonilla ; Sing the Song , the King likes so well . Song . How blest are they that wast their weary howers In solemne Groves , and solitary Bowers , Where neither eye , nor eare , Can see , or heare , The frantique mirth , And false delights of frolique earth ; Where they may sit , and pant , And breathe their pursy souls , Where neither Grief consumes , nor griping want Afflicts , nor sullen Care controuls . Away false joyes , ye murther where ye kisse : There is no heav'n to that ; No life to this . Aug. Truth , sweetly sung . Come let 's away . Exeunt Pertenax with a Letter , and Cup. Murther will out : A Letter , and a silver Cup ! To the fair hands of the most honourable Lady , the Lady Kettreena these . Good . So much for the preface , Now to the businesse . [ opens the Letter and reads . The ill Construction of our loves , enforces me to whisper my Affection in the Sympathie of thy sufferings : Cheare up , and let thy courage for a while beare what present time cannot remedy . Receive this Cordiall , as a deare pledge of my love , and a certaine meanes of thy health : It will restore thy wasted spirits , and wind up the plum●ets of thy weakned Constitution , It will fill thy heart with mirth , and bones with marrow , whose welfare is the studious care of Thy Evaldus . Evaldus ? So now 't is out . Hah ! does the Jade begin to tyre ? Must her Plummets be wound up ? Nay , It shal ha' my Blessing too , I had a dose of Arsnick [ feels in 's packet But 't is gone . Well , if I cannot make it fit for her , the King has made it fit for me : Let me see [ peruses the Letter 'T will fill thy heart with mirth , and bones with marrow . Good ! Muth and Marrow , and a silver Cup , three good Commodities ! First I 'le up with this . So — Now I 'le up with that [ drinks . puts up the cup in 's pocket Evaldus , we thank ye . Kettreena , we thank ye , Health and wealth 's a double purchase . Enter Kettreena . Kett. Sir , if mine eyes may not be made partakers of the Kings Message , make my eares happy with your Relation . Pert. D'ye want Restority ? Are the plummets of your soule downer ? Does your heart want mirth ? or your bones marrow ? Kett. Sir , What meane ye ? Pert. Most honourable Lady , to cut your throat : Away ye Strumpet . Kett. Sir , will you be pleased — Pert. To slit your nose ; Avoid my sight [ Exit Kett. O what ayle I ! In the name of Gold what ayle my bowels thus to gripe ? Oh! Her very breath 's a Purge ; Her eyes are Granadoes , and have set my bloud on fire . I burne like Hell : My liver scorches ; My heart is in a fornace , O water , water , water ! O , for a Crust of Ice , that I may gnaw and coole my flaming tongue ! Oh , my leggs begin to faile , I faint , I faint , I faint ! Oh that this earth were snow that I might roule , and roule , and roule ! Where are ye ô my bags , my blessed bags ! help me , ô help me my deare bags . Oh , will ye suffer me to be thus tormented ! What are ye deafe now ? are ye dumb ? Take , take away the Witch ; she comes , she comes , she comes to pinch me with hot Irons , & fils my veynes with boyling lead . O the Witch , the Witch , the Witch , the Witch . Languishes . dies . Enter Kettreena . Kett. What ? falne asleep ! How miserable is poore Kettreena that has no happinesse but then ! How well quietnesse becomes him ! He lies very still ; He was wont to snort , that th' whole house was witnesse of his slumbers , I 'm loath to wake him . I 'm affraid he 's dead . Sir , Sir , Sir . [ jogs him Oh , he 's dead ! He 's dead ! He 's dead ! [ Ent. Comodus utterly dead , dead for ever . Com. Deare Sister , what 's the matter ? Kett. O he 's dead , he 's dead , he 's dead ! Com. Nay , sweet Sister , have patience . Kett. Oh , woe is me , that I have liv'd to see this heavy hower ! Com. Pray Sister be patient , you wrong your self too much . Kett. I care not , so long as I never wrong'd him . Oh my deare Husband is dead , and I am undone , undone for ever ! Com. Come , pray Sister leave the roome , and take some comfort ; Your teares cannot recall him . Kett. No , no , I 'le never leave him , I 'le never leave him thus . Com. Come , come , let me perswade ye . Nay come , good Sister . Kett. Then let me take my last farewell : Deny me not that good Brother . kisses him . I hope he 's happier far then I. Exeunt Ent. Quack . Quibble , at one dore . Quack Conscience ! What tell'st thou me of Conscience ? Conscience , and Commodity , are two severall Trades : If thou keep the one , the other will scarce keep thee . Conscience , quoth her ? I cry my stars mercy . There 's a word indeed ! You a Mountebanks man ! You a hang-man as soon . Tell me of Conscience ? Quib. I beseech you , Sir , excuse me . 'T was but a hasty word let slip , before I was aware . Quack He that 's my servant must forget to blush , Must teach his ready lips to mouthe an oath , Must have a daring brow , hatcht ore with brasse ; Must have a smooth-fac'd tongue , that has the Art To cloath a naked Lie with robes of Truth ; And learne to work upon the easie faith Of the believing Multitude : He must be bold And plausible , and captivate the eare With lines of wit ; And with some bugbeare words Of seeming Art , must fright their understandings Into an Admiration . Which , like a nightly Lowbell , may entice Th' amaz'd Plebeans to his Batfoule net . Quibble , what say'st to this ? Quib. Sir , if you 'd be pleas'd to excuse me a little for swearing , I should do wel enough for lying . For indeed , I must confess , swearing goes a litle against my conscience . Quack More conscience yet ? Come , come , ye must not Stand upon such Niceties : He that will thrive Must fear to act no profitable Crime : Almighty Gold hath power to absolve The evils of poverty : He may be bold To sin in want , that may repent in Gold . Quib. Well Sir , I am resolv'd . Conscience , farewell . And now that Blocks remov'd , Quibble shall undertake your faire Instructions , and approve himself a Scholar worthy of so sage a Master . Quack But one thing more ; When you shall mount my Stage Be sure , your lavish tongue reflect upon The honour of my Name : let all your words Ayme at my merits , and inhaunce my fame , Advance my Cures , And let thy tongue relate The greatnesse of my Patients , and rewards Of foraine Princes , and those powers above . 'T is easier to believe , then to disprove . Quib. It is enough : If Quibble undertake , And fail , trust neither foole nor knave for Quibble's fake . Exeunt , severall dores . Lactusia , Trippit . Lact. The Queen 's extreamly discontent , that her designes have fall'n so crosse . Trip. Who can help it ? Lact. This is the fruit of Jealousie ; had not that peevish foole been jealous of Kettreena , My conscience tells me this had never been . Trip. Nay , to see the old foole must needs run upon his owne death , and not suffer her to die , whose death he so desired ! Lact. Well , 't was the first time that I was ere engag'd in such a business , and shall be the last . Trip. Nay , to see the luck on 't , The counterfeited Letter was found in Pertenax his pocket , and may discover all . Lact. But my feare is , that Quack will be examin'd , and then all will out . Trip. No , Quack did wisely deliver his Message in a disguise ; can he but keep his owne counsell , all may be well . In the mean while , I have given out that Kettreena had a hand in the businesse , which perchance may prove an after-game , and strengthen'd with report may leave her to the Law . Exeunt Evald. Artesio , Formid : Comodus . Evald. I send a Letter and a Cordiall ! I 'm abus'd . Art. It appeares , the mischief was meant to Kettreena , Sir . Evald. But heav'n protected her : Who brought the Letter and the Potion ? For. The Messenger was a Stranger , Sir . Evald. How habited ? Com. Sir , like a Cavalier , in a slasht Suit , a black Lock , And a gilt Rapier , down to his heels . Evald. We 'l make a strict enquiry ; Such murther will not long lie smother'd . But how does poor Kettreena take it ? Com. Exceeding heavily Sir , And the worse , that some base tongues would make her accessary . Evald. My soule acquits her . Artesio , let her know , we 'l visit her to morrow . Bid her from me cheare up ; Upon my honour I 'le not rest , till she be righted . Art. Heav'n blesse your Highnesse . Evald. 'T is certain , there 's a challenge pass'd betwixt Bellarmo , and Palladius : I feare the unhappy difference concerning the Birthright , will never be compos'd but by the Oracle . On Wednesday is their Birth-day , and most fit for such solemnity : Formidon , let proclamation be issued forth , that all the Court , upon the paine of our displeasure that day awaite the Oracle , where we in person will attend it . Artesio send you warrant out in our name to the Pythian Priests to make their Preparations . Comodus . Museus . So now Museus , If the plot hit right There 's but a haire 'twixt Monarchy and thee : The Gap stands faire ; If thy auspitious stars Light thee the way , and prosp'rous Fortune breathe Successe upon thy high contriv'd designes , Thy sole-commanding hand , shall grasp and sway The glorious Scepter , and thy gracious Browes Shall be encompass'd with th' Imperiall Crowne . But stay ! What if Palladius should advise With his soft Pillow ? what if pleading tears Softly distilling from the amorous eyes Of his faire Idoll should prevaile and turne His martiall flames into a love-sick fire ? What if the blaze of our Bellarmo's rage ( Not having solid Fuell to maintain The wastfull bounty of his lavish flames ) Should slake and languish , and consume it self To the warme ashes of a soft accord ? Here , here , Museus , thou must act thy part With Care and Judgment , and ingenious Art . Be circumspect ; Be studious to encrease Those Fires : Their wars produce thy Peace . Be thou the Bellowes to advance their flame : And having wisely dealt , play thus thy Game . First baite thy hook with deep dissembled love , Keep close thy Serpent , and shew them thy Dove : Seem Friend to both ; Who ever fail'd his End , That hammer'd treason with the hands of Friend ? Feel both their pulses : If they chance to beat Active and sprightly , wish , advise , entreat To Peace : Perswaded fury , and stopt streames When most resisted , run to most extreams : But if their tilted spirits run too low , Urge Reputation , and the faith they owe To sacred Honour in a Princes name : The whet-stone of abated Valour 's shame . [ Ent. Palla . softly , reading 2. letters . But see , how pat Palladius presence gives A faire advantage to my new desires ! I le stand aside , untill his serious eyes Have given free welcome to his paper-guests . Pall . I stand betwixt two minds ! what 's best to doe ? This bids me stay ; This spurs me on to goe . Once more let our impartiall eyes peruse Both t'one and t'other : Both may not prevaile . My Lord , PRize not your honour so much as to disprize her that honours you , in choosing rather to meet Death in the field , then Pulchrella in her desires . Give my affection leave once more to disswade you from trying Conquest with so unequall a Foe : Or if a Combate must be tryed , make a Bed of Roses the Field , and me your Enemie . The Interest I claim in you is sufficient warrant to my desires , which according to the place they find in your Respects , confirme me either the happiest of all Ladies , or make me the most unfortunate of all women . PUL CHRELLA . A Charme too strong for Honour to represse . Mus. A heart too poore for Honour to possesse . Pall . Honour must stoop to Vows . But what saies this ? [ Reads the other Letter . My Lord , THe hand that guides this Pen , being guided by the ambition of your honour , and my owne affection , presents you with the wishes of a faithfull servant , who desires not to buy your safety with the hazard of your Reputation . Goe on with courage , and know , Panthea shall partake with you in either fortune : If conquer'd , my heart shall be your Monument , to preserve and glorifie your honour'd ashes ; If a Conqueror , my tongue shall be your Herault to proclaime you the Champion of our Sex , and the Phoenix of your own , honour'd by all , equall'd by few , beloved by none more dearly then Your owne Panthea . I sayle betwixt two Rocks ! What shall I doe ? What Marble melts not if Pulchrella wooe ? Or what hard-hearted eare can be so dead , As to be deafe , if faire Panthea plead ? Whom shall I please ? Or which shall I refuse ? Pulchrella sues , and faire Panthea sues : Pulchrella melts me with her love-sick teares , But brave Panthea batters downe my eares With Love's Pettarre : Pulchrellas breast encloses A soft Affection wrapt in Beds of Roses . But in the rare Pantheas noble lines , True Worth and Honour , with Affection joynes . I stand even-balanc'd , doubtfully opprest , Beneathe the burthen of a bivious brest . When I peruse my sweet Pulchrellas teares , My blood growes wanton , and I plunge in feares : But when I read divine Panthea's charmes , I turne all fierie , and I grasp for armes . Who ever saw , when a rude blast out-braves , And thwarts the swelling Tide , how the proud waves Rock the drencht Pinace on the Sea-greene brest Of frowning Ahimptrite , who opprest Betwixt two Lords , ( not knowing which t' obey ) Remaines a Neuter in a doubtfull way . So tost am I , bound to such strair confines , Betwixt Pulchrella's and Panthea's lines . Both cannot speed : But one that must prevaile . I stand even poys'd : an Atome turnes the scale . Mus. Dar'st thou be doubtfull ? Fie , Palladius , fie . Pall . How now ? What , is Museus care so nigh ! Lend me thy grave advice : Peruse these lines , My choice shall fix on what thy judgment sings . Reads the Letters softly . Reade both . Compare and judge . Mus. Weigh Heaven with Hell : Compare harsh Owles to warbling Philomel : Weigh Froth with Honour , or dejected Shame With the downe-weight of an illustrious Name . Pulchrella wooes thee with a Syrens song ; But brave Panthea's more Heroick tongue Chaunts streynes of honor : False Pulchrella sheds The teares of Crocodiles : Panthea treads High steps to triumph , where thy growing Name . Shall stand recorded in the Rolls of Fame . But take thy course : Th'advice is onely mine : Thine is the interest , as the choice is thine . Restores the Letters . This onely know , Bellarmo's tongue proclames Palladius dares not fight , but with his dames . Pall . The scales are turn'd . Panthea lodge thou here Next to my heart , Pulchrella , lie thou there . Puts that in his bosome , teares the other . Farewell my soft embraces : Sports stand by : Bellarmo , if Palladius lives , shall die . Ex. Mus. So , now it works : If either hap to fall , I the sole-second to both parties shall With my breath'd sword doe justice on the other : Crowns weigh no friends : Ambition knows no brother . Then , then , Museus , shall th' Imperiall Crowne Adorne thy sacred Temples ; and the Throne Of Earth's unrivall'd Majesty shall be Thy purchas'd Prize , possest alone by Thee . Then shall those golden , those forgotten dayes Returne to earth : Then shall the learned Bayes That wants deservers , in this trifling Age , Immortalize the Sophoclean Stage : Unbroken Faith shall then forget to start , And be entayl'd upon the single heart . Unblemisht Loyaltie shall crowne the loves Of twined soules , more innocent then Doves . But stay , Museus ! Thou forgett'st to play The tother part with thy Bellarm ' , Away : Goe feele his humor : If his rage be downe , Goe switch it up : Thou labour'st for a Crowne . Ex. ACT. IV. SCEN. I. Quibble mounting his Bank . Quib. BE it knowne to all men by these presents , that I Jeffery Quibble , am the trusty and right well-beloved servant and kinsman to the renowned , famous , skilfull , learned , able , admirable , incomparable Master of Phisgigge , Cornelius Quack , a man of rare Qualcoms , and singular imperfections , who by his studies abroad , and travells at home , through France , Spaine , Italie , Germany , Denmark , Poland , Finderland , Freezeland , hath marvellously unbefitted himselfe with all manner of Oyles , Waters , Powders , Drugs , Spirits , Balsomes , Syrops , Salves , Sere-cloathes ; bountifully unstor'd with all sorts of Preservatives , Conservatives , Restoritives , Antidotes , for all manner of Temperatures , Constitutions , Complexions ; Richly unfurnisht with all kind of Prescripts , Deceits , and all other rare Impediments belonging to a man of his Defunction , who to the great dimolishment of this Towne , and benefice of this Incorruption , hath redressed himselfe to you , and here sets up his Banck , offering health to the imperfermity of your bodies , soundnesse to the impudencie of your limbs , and present cure to your outward Mallanders , and inward exturbances . And for your farther sartifaction of his deficiencie in this kind , Behold his Licence under the hands of her most Excellent Majestie , and Bellarmo her illustrious sonne ; which , when occasion shall require it , shall be shewne , to the honour of my renowned Master , Cornelius Quack , and his pragmaticall servant Jeffery Quibble . But to the purpose , Gentlemen : It may be you will think me more knave then foole , And may be so I am : And now perchance you 'l say I 'm both by my owne confession : And may be I am so too . Artesio my old Master made me a knave , and my new Master hath made me a foole : And so he 'll doe ye all before h'as done with ye . Which that he may the better doe , have patience a while . Drawes a Curtaine , and discovers his shop furnisht . Gentlemen , Here 's that will doe the deed . Here 's Physick of all kinds , for all diseases : Salves of all natures for all sores : Medicines of all compositions , for all constitutions , colours , of all sorts , for all complexions . [ Takes a box and reads . The costly Pouder in this box Cures him that 's pouder'd with the Pox . This helps the back , and cures the Reyns ; Reads another . Makes her weight that wants two graines . The Ointment that this glasse incloses , Reads another . Palliats blew cheeks , and purple noses . This cures the Cholick , Stone , or Wind , Reads another . Makes craz'd bodies belch behind . This cures the carefull marryed life Reads another . Of that disease men call a Wife . This cleares complexion when it fades ; Reads another . Cures Falling-sicknesses in maids . This cures the twattles , and the flouts ; Takes a wand . Grumbles , sullens , and the pouts . This helps all gouts both old and young , Reads another . And cures the palsie in the tongue . This makes night-walkers keep their beds ; Reads another . Cures heavy hearts , and giddy heads . If Jack love Jone , and Jone fly back , Reads another . This pouder will make Jone love Jack . If Jone love Jack , and Jack will none , Reads another . This pouder will make Jack love Jone . This first and last if ye apply , Reads another . You 'l nere be sick but when ye die . But this rare Quintessence such strength does give , Anoth. You 'l never die so long as ere ye live . Gentlemen , This is a rare man , ( though I say 't ) and hath a thousand secrets more , which next market day you shall have from his owne plentifull mouth . He hath done rare cures by naturall Magick , Sympathies , and Antipathies ; But this is Heathen Greek to you : Who would have conceiv'd that Sir Walter Raleighs blood should have cured Goudomors Fistula in ano ? But this is likewise Greek to you : Wee 'l leave these mysteries to the wise , and tell ye things according to the measure of our apprehensions . My Master had for taking a Corne out of the great Mogulls toe , — 100.1 . sterling . For strengthning the Pr : of Orenge's back , 1000. Gilders . For curing the Emperor of a Dropsie , 4000. Rx Dollers . For taking a black Cataract out of his Holinesse his left eye , — 600. Checkeens . For curing Card : Richelieu of the Kings evil , 800. French Crownes . Well Gentlemen , to be short , My Master loves money woundly well , and so does my Masters man . If therefore ye want any thing , greaze my fist with a Tester or two , and ye shall find it in your penny-worths . And why should not I cheat him with as good a conscience , as he you ? But stay ! We must have a parting song , before ye goe . Sirrah , Iack , Rogue , Boy , Hoe Iack ! Enter Boy . O are you come , Sirrah ! Sing these Gentlemen a song . Come , be nimble , 'T will be your owne another day . Boy . Song . IS any sick ? Is any sore Opprest with Qualmes and fainting fits ? Or bound behind ? Or loose before ? Has any Lover lost his wits ? Let him draw neare , And make his griefs appeare , Wee 'l cure them all from top to toe , Before , behind , above , below . II. Is any heart opprest with dolor ? Sullen , sad , or melancholly ? Ore-flowne with blood ? inflam'd with choler ? Or surcharg'd with Flegme or folly ? Let him draw neare , And make his griefs appeare , Wee 'l ease ye all , what ere ye feele , Within , without , from head to heele . III. Is any foule that would be faire ? Would Rav'ns appeare as white as Lambs ? Has any Courtier lost his haire ? Or finds a crickling in his hammes ? Let him draw neare , And make his griefs appeare , Wee 'l cure all their wants throughout , Above , below , within , without . IV. Has any Morpheus , Freckles , Staynes , Warts , or Wounds , or Wens , or Scar's ? Blisters , Botches , Biles , or Blanes , Coughs , Consumptions , Colds , Catarrs ? Let them draw neare , And make their griefs appeare , Wee 'l make them sound from bone to skin , Above , below , without , within . V. Chollicks , Fevers , Palseyes , Flux , Cancers , Dropsies , nauseous Fumes ? Megrims , Skirvies , Cramps , or Cricks , Iaundies , Rickets , Piles , or Rhumes ? Let them draw neare , And make their griefs appeare , Wee 'l give them ease , and health restore , Within , without , behind , before . Quibble . T is a good Boy ! Now Gentlemen , y 'ave heard the truth both sung and said , confirm'd by fooles and children , who ye know speak truth . If after all this ye cannot beleeve , we have lost our breath , and you the benefit . But to confirme your Confidence , and to magnific the excellence of our skill , I will present such visible demonstrations to your eye , that Doubt shall find no ground to question , and Unbelief shall blush at her own infidelity . And first , Here is a Soveraigne Balsome , that in the space of one minute and three quarters , shall cure the deepest wound that dagger can inflict , whereof behold sufficient proofe . Stabs himself . Gentlemen , this wound which I have made , shall by the vertue of this Balsome be as quickly cured . Annoynts . So , now the blood retyres unto his wonted veynes , I feele the Orifice , which even just now had roome enough to lodge my finger , now clos'd , and smoothe , and flesh deliver'd from the sense of paine . Secondly , here is an excellent Antidote , which taken , shall preserve the taker from the injury of poyson , hot or cold . As for example — This ugly Spider here contains the rankest of all venim . Now Gentlemen , I take my Antidote . And now my Spider . Eates it . T is gone ! Fight Dog , fight Beare . Hem ! Poyson doe thy worst . Hah ! Dost thou rejounce ? Thy power 's curb'd , and cannot work her end . Needs feare no Foe , that hath so true a friend . Thirdly , here 's a soveraigne Restoritive which shall correct the deadlyest poyson in the height of operation . See ye this swelling Toad , whose poyson taken shall swell ye till ye burst , And from the very Porch of Death this rare Preservative shall soone redeeme ye . Gentlemen , mark how I squeeze this mortall bit into this Boule . Now Gallants , a Health to my Mistresse . Drinks . Now pledge it that dare . Mark the operation , Hem ! Hem ! Hem ! Now it begins to work , O I am sick , my bowels gripe , I sweat , I burne , I burst — Takes the Restorative . O what a Julip breathes into my veynes ! And how these strong Convulsions of my soule Begin to loosen ! How the loathsome Qualmes Of my obstructed stomach turnes to ease And appetite ! O soveraigne drop How , how hast thou restor'd my dying life With thy unvalu'd excellence , and lent My tongue new pow'r to call thee excellent ! Now , my Masters , you that delight in Chimestry , know also , my Master can shew you many rare Experiments . He sayes he can make the Philosophers Stone , but saving his Reverence I think he lyes , else he 'd be hang'd ere he 'd thus Quack for Testers . But this upon my knowledge : he can bring an Artificiall Resurrection , and Vivification to Mercury , which being mortified into a thousand shapes , assumes againe its owne Body , and returnes to its numericall selfe . He can likewise from the Ashes of a Plant , revive the Plant , and from its Cinders recall it to the Stalk and Leaves againe . Lastly , by the vertue of a thing called Wit , he can doe such wonders at Cribbidge , or New-cut , that the experience thereof shall teach ye more wisdome in an houre , then all the Volume of Thomas Aquinas can afford you in ten dayes : Wherein if you please the next market day he shall give you a plenary satisfaction , if you repaire hither with purses to be handled , and minds to be instructed . Exit . Madge , Cis. Cis. Well Madge , though I pawne my Poppingay Petticoat for 't , I le ha' some of that pouder next market day . Madge . What pouder Cis ? Cis. That pouder that will make Iack love Ione . Madge . P'sh , I don't think 't will work any such effect . Cis. Yes Madge , as sure as I live . Doll our Dairy-maid gave some on 't to Nick the Butlers boy , and within an houre after the boy was so mad of her : He would never let her alone , but dogg'd her from corner to corner , and would so tumble her and so touze her : And when company was by her would so gloit and cast sheeps eyes at her , as past . She could goe no where but the boy would make one . Sometimes he would bring her May-bushes , sometimes mellow-Apples , sometimes a Busk-point , sometimes a Silk-lace . And if she spake but a kind word to him , Lord , he would so simper , and so jemper , and so lick his lips , and so scratch his elboe , as 't was admirable . Madge . Is 't possible ? Cis. I tell thee Madge , I saw it with my owne eyes , and thought the next time the Mountebank came I 'de buy some on 't to see what mettle our Frank the Faulkner was made on . Madge . Why sirrah , he loves thee well enough without it : Would I know who lov'd me halfe so well . Cis. Yes verily , I confesse I think he loves me dearly well , but yet not so dearly as I 'de have him . He 's such a maydenly man ! — Madge . Why ? I 'm sure I saw him kisse thee twenty times together , to be sure so often that my teeth water'd soundly . Cis. Twenty times ? what 's twenty times ? what 's that ? 'T is done before one can say What 's this ? Twenty times ? T is a mighty piece of businesse . And then forsooth , he must stroak his Hawke , And then forsooth he must feed his Hawke , and then forsooth , he must bathe his Hawke , And then forsooth , he must lie down by his Hawke , and see his Hawke pick her self , and prune her self , and there 's such a deal of fidling , and such a deal of fadling , And then forsooth , he must goe abroad a hawking , and stay out all day , and then at night come home as weary as his dogs , and sit without life or soul , That one has as much comfort in him as comes to nothing . Madge . Well Cis , wou'd some body did but love me halfe so well , a that condition it cost me a fall . Cis. Goodly , goodly , wou'd Antony at George were here to draw his name out a your politique mouth , You are so close , and so wise now . Madge . Why , I am not ashamed to name him , nor he of his name : Well , he has cost me many a bitter sigh in his dayes , Yet I dare take my oath hee 's as honest a young man as lives by bread . Cis. Why dost thou sigh ? He may leave his honesty when he will , and see ne'r a whit the worse for 't . Madge . I care not , so he left it with no body but me ; yet in the way of honesty too ( I tell ye but so : ) Well , no body knowes what I have endur'd for his sake ; But I may thank my modesty for 't , and my Mother for that . She gave my a Rule forsooth , once , which I ha' beshrew'd her for a thousand times . Cis. What Rule was that , Madge ? Madge . She charg'd me , that when any sued for my love , I should be coy , and say Noforsooth , and still Noforsooth , and Noforsooth , which I ha' done so long , that I have almost Noforsooth'd away all my fortunes . But sirrah , ( here 's none but Thee and I ) I le tell thee . This very day two moneths ( well fare all good tokens ) Antony at the George would needs ha'me downe into his Wine-celler , and gave me a Pint of Brown-bastard ; and being in a good humour , brake his minde to me , And taking a glasse of Wine , wisht it might be his poyson if he did not love me with all his heart . Cis. But did he drink it ? Madge . Every drop as I live ; Nay more , wou'd may nere store , if he offered not ( I le tell it to thee ) to fetch a Licence instantly , and marry me forthwith , if I 'de goe with him ; But I , like a puppinos'd foole , followed my Mothers directions , and cry'd Noforsooth , to make him the more eager , which he taking in earnest , flung away in a pet , and as I live , took me at my word , and never spake kindly to me since : And this is the fruits of Noforsooth . Cis. And wert thou not serv'd in thy kind , to be such an asse , to refuse a good thing when 't was offer'd ? Madge . Nay , Sirrah , See the luck on 't ; Had he but ask'd me once more , I had resolv'd to ha'taken him at his word : But if he , or any other hereafter take Madge a crying Noforsooth , I 'le give him leave to bite off my tongue , and spit it in my face , I tell ye but so . Cis. Dost thou think he has forsaken thee upon 't ? Madge . I can't tell : I ha' made many a frivolous errand to the George since , And when he sees me , the Gentleman will bite his lip , and put off his hat , but as I live , neither kisse me , nor nothing else , That I came away with a flea in mine eare , and in a fustian Fret , and had such Qualmes , and such Swamps come over my stomach all night long — Cis. But art not mightily troubled with him in thy dreames ? Madge . O , sirrah , abomination ; There 's ne'r a night scapes me , on my conscience : Sometimes , methinks I see him twirling up his pretty little black beard : sometimes stroaking up his fore-top : sometimes singing that heavenly tune of Walsingham to his Citterne : sometimes crying Anon Anon Sir , and running up stairs : sometimes Very welcome Gentlemen , Is all paid i'th'Rose ? which he fetches up with such a grace — As indeed every thing he does becomes him most sweetly . O how I could curse this peevish tongue of mine for saying that last Noforsooth . Ah! if he had askt me the Question but once more , verly I had been to morrow two moneths gone : But who can help it ? Cis. Well Madge , our conditions are much alike : we must even comfort one another as well as we can . Madge . That 's but cold comfort Cis : I but my case is thousand times worse then thine ; Thou mayst see him thou lovest every day , and dine together , and sup together , and sleepe together under the same roofe ; but I a poore forsaken creature must waste my disconsolate hours in thinking , & in sighing , and in [ Weeps ] sobbing . Insomuch that I han't eaten a bit of bread that has done me any good these three dayes . But yet I can't choose but laugh to think — Ha , ha , ha , ha , how Frank the Fawlkner — Ha , ha , ha , ha , was catch'd in 's Roguery last night , Ha , ha , ha , ha . Cis. How ? Prithee tell me . Madge . I think my heart will burst when I think on 't . Ha , ha , ha , ha . Cis. Prithee tell me the conceit . Madge . Sirrah , yesternight when thou wert gone up with my Lady , Frank and I were raking Husbands and Wives in the Embers , And Frank hearing the stayres creake , and thinking thee hadst been comming downe , catcht my Lady fast by the — Ha , ha , ha , ha , middle ; but she lent him such a whirrit upon the eare , that all the house rung on 't : But 't would make a Horse break his Halter to see how like an Asse poore Frank lookt and sneakt away with his taile clapt betweene his legs , Ha , ha , ha , ha , Did he not tell thee on 't yet ? Cis. No verily , I see him not to day : Huds lifelykins , Alas poore heart , But 't is no matter : Let him keep home adayes then , that he may see what he does , and whom he embraces . But sirrah , now I think on 't , I ha some a Dolls pouder , which I stole from her , Till we get more , let 's try conclusions with that . Madge . With all my heart , let 's : But how shall we give it them ? Cis. How ? Leave that to me : Frank and I will goe to the George , and drink a pint with Antony , and then we 'll send for thee , And I warrant thee I le spice their Cups , and then In spight of my mother , my grandame , my aunt , We 'll drink off our cups , and make a night on 't . Madge . A match ! Come , let 's way ; we shall be both hang'd for staying so long . Exeunt . Evald. Artesio , Formidon , Comodus . Evald. Artesio , Can you resolve us yet concerning the death of Pertenax ? Art. Sir , he was open'd , and we apparently find that he was poyson'd . Evald. Goe Artesio , and comfort thy poore afflicted daughter , Let her know , that we are partners in her sorrow , and will be a husband to the widow , and take her welfare into our protection . Art. Heaven blesse your Highnesse . Ex. Artes. Evald. Does there appeare any new light by your Examination ? Formid . Sir , I find there was such a Letter counterfeited from your Highnesse , and a silver Cup was delivered to Kettreena by a stranger , who after the delivery instantly departed . Likewise I find that Pertenax comming in the nick , snatcht it from Kettreena's unwilling hand , and in a passion retyr'd into a roome , not suffering her to follow him , where he was found dead an houre after . Another Examinate faith , that he sent for a dramme of Arsnick the night before , but for what purpose the Examinate knoweth not . Another Examinate , being one of his servants , saith , that she harkning at the doore , did heare him say , that he would put in a dose of Arsnick into the Cup for ? Kettreena , which she saw him search in his pockets for ; but being suddenly call'd away by her Lady , stayed not to see the rest . And indeed it is generally beleeved , that he was chiefe Agent in his owne death . Evald. Comodus , what account can you give us of this businesse ? Com. Sir , we found in his pocket the Cup and the Letter , but no Arsnick : Upon suspition I examined Madam Lactusia , and one Cornelius Quack , once servant to Artesio , who falter something in their examination , but deny any knowledge of the proceedings : Onely they both heare that Pertenax counterfeited the Letter , to see with what Affection his Lady would receive it . Evald. Even like enough , The just reward of a jealous braine . Com. But this she added , That when time should serve , she would discover a secret of another nature , which will make such an alteration in the State , as Time could not example : whereupon I committed them both to Prison till a farther Examination . Evald. 'T was wisely done . Formidon , See a firme Conveyance made of all Pertenax his Estate to our use , which we freely give to Kettreena . And you Comodus , take a speciall care to call in her debts that are upon Book and Specialties . Ex. ACT. V. SCEN. I. Glisterpipe . THe Devill a bit of meat have I gotten these nine dayes , but once a leane scrag end of a Neck of Mutton , which one of my Masters Patients loath'd to eate : Else my whole diet hath been nothing but the overplus of thin Physick-broth , and my drink , the heartlesse reversion of dis-curded Posset-Ale : Insomuch , I had rather be my Masters Hang-man , then his Serving-man ; For then perchance I might get a Caft Suit , and a gratuity for a quick dispatch . Knocks at doore . Who 's at doore there ? Opens it , and enter Page with an Vrinall . Page . Sir , Is Master Doctor within ? I have brought him a Urine . Glist . From whom ? Page . From my Lady Albion . Glist . My Master is very busie , and cannot be spoken with these two houres . Page . Good Sir , my businesse is upon life and death : I pray bring me to him , and I shall be very thankfull . Glist . How shall that appeare ? Page . By this small carnest of a greater Reward . Gives him a Fee . Glist . Wel Sir , I shal make a tryal . Opens the curtain . Sir , here is one would speak with you from my Lady Albion . Artes. Bring him in . Now friend , what 's your businesse ? Page . Sir , my Lady hath sent you her Urine , and desires your Advice . Art. Glisterpipe . Glist . Sir . Poures it in a dish . Art. Goe ayre it . Glist . Now I de as liefe he had bid me gone to supper , but take him in that fault , & hang him . Stumbles , & spils the urine , and rises . So , now am I as sure of a crackt Crowne , as my Master is of a whole Angel : But I le serve him a trick , and save my selfe some labour . I le make it up againe out of my owne stock . Exit . Art. Has your Lady made no use of any other Doctor formerly ? Page . Yes Sir , she took advice of a Scottish Doctor , but she is not much the better for him : He drew a great deale of money from her Ladiship , who is now faine to give him money to be rid on him — Whisper . Ent. Glisterpipe . Glist . T is all but Pisse , and t is not the first time my Master has had an eye to my water . Page . Truly I cannot tel Sir . Shakes the Urinal . Art. This water shews no great defect in her Ladiships stomach . Glist . His Doctorship may sweare it . Art. Her Ladiship accustomes her self to too thin a diet , eats too much broth , and too many Sillibubs . Glist . Posset-Ale ye meane Sir , a halter stretch ye . Art. And does not encourage her stomach with good substantiall meat . Glist . Thanks to your miserable purse Sir , he would if he could get it . Art. Her Ladiships body is much out of order , and there 's a Malignant Hypocondriacall Flate within her , which fumes up , and disturbs her Head : Is she not much troubled with the Head-ache ? Page . Yes Sir , exceedingly : She complains of it every day . Art. She is likewise much troubled with inflamations , and obstructions in the liver , which causes an inordinate swimming in the Braine , and giddinesse . Is she not apt now and then to speak idly ? Page . O Sir , when the Fit takes her , she speaks never a word of sense : she talks of nothing but Bishops , and Petitions , and I can't tell what , and her tongue runs so wildly , and indeed I think she is scarce sensible sometimes of her own sicknesse . Art. That proceeds altogether from the rude confluence of loose humors . I find by her water , she is much troubled with wind and choller , which occasions a great and frequent heart-burning : Is she not much subject to unaccustomed sadnesse at times ? Page . Extreamly Sir . Art. I find she has a great imbeeility in her spirits naturall , which causes in her a generall faintnesse , and now and then enclined to the Cardiaca Passio . Is she not often possest with sudden frights , and feares , and jealousies , and mis-understandings ? Page . Exceedingly Sir . Art. I find likewise , that she is much troubled with the Spleene , which occasions stupidity , melancholy , and at times distractions ? Is she not often in a brown study ? Page . Very much Sir . Art. Well , I feare we must be forc'd to draw some blood from her , which as the case stands now with her , I should be loth to doe . There is some bad blood in her veynes ; but if a veyne be once opened , the best blood in her body may chance to passe too , which she can hardly spare , without palpable danger . Untill I see her , I can prescribe little . To morrow I shall wait upon her Ladiship , and what I shall then find fitting , shall be carefully administred . In the meane while , let her keep her head warme , and be very careful of her Temples : Let her forbeare Salt and Usquebagh : Let her use Moderation in her Exercises , wherein she might not be forc'd to lift her armes too neare her head : And for the relieving of her drooping spirits let her recreate her selfe now and then with a game at Irish : Let her forbeare Noddy , and Chesse , as Games too serious . Farewell . Page . Take this , Glisterpipe , to drink my Ladies health . Gives Glist a Fee , & Ex. Glist . How odoriserous is a very stoole ! how sweet , When full-cramm'd Purses , and craz'd Bodies meet ! Knocks . What ? more Fees yet ? Who 's at doore ? Page . Pray is Mr. Doctor within ? Ent. Page with an Urinall . I have brought him a water . Glist . From whom ? Page . From my Lady Temple . Glist . He cannot be spoken with as yet , unlesse — Page . I know your mind , Sir , let this quicken you . Art. Glisterpipe ? Glist . Sir . Art. Who 's there ? Glist . One that would speak with your Honour from my Lady Temple . Art. Bring him in : Now friend , what 's your businesse ? Page . Sir , my Lady desires your Advice upon her Urine . Art. Glisterpipe , goe chafe it . Glist . So , there 's a shilling more for Glisterpipe . Ex. Art. How long has your Lady been sick ? Page . These three years , Sir : she took a tedious journey to Canterbury , where she conceives she took a surfet with too much Duck , which hath laine very heavy upon her Ladiships stomach ever since . Enter Glist . with the Urinall . Art. This water shewes a great diftemper in her principall Parts , which indeed sets her whole Frame out of Order . Has she taken no Advice formerly ? Page . Sir , she has had many Advisers , but men of mean quality , and of no skill at all . Art. What were they ? Page . Her poore Neighbours Sir , Coblers , Weavers , Felt-makers , Coachmen , and Brewers Clerks , who pretend a great deale of slovenly skill . Art. In good time ! But what Doctors had she ? Page . Some Doctors of very good worth , but this Rabble jeers them , and laughs them out of doors . Art. I find by her Water she has a foule Liver , & can digest no wholsome food : And her first digestion being bad , makes her second worse : Is she not apt to frights ? Page . Sir , her Ladiships stomach was prittily well purg'd of her Canterbury Duck , and being finely at ease , and laid to rest , a rude company of cock-brain'd Rascals in an humor beset her house , and brake downe all her Glasse-windowes , and put her into such a fright , that she has been the worse for 't ever since . Art. I find by her water , there has been too sudden Alterations in her constitution : Is she not sometimes very hot , and sometimes very cold ? Page . Yes Sir , sometimes as cold as Charity , sometimes as hot as Zeale . Art. I find obnoxious fumes rising from her stomach , and stupifying her braine : Is she not at times very drowzie ? Page . Yes Sir , Insomuch that the common people think she is troubled with a Liturgic . Art. A Lethargie you meane . It is a Chronicall disease , and time must cure it . But let her know , that so long as she entertaines this rude Rabble of unsanctified Mechanicks , She can never prosper in her health . Till she banish them , there will be no roome for me . Fare ye well . But heare ye . Let her Fasting be frequent , and her Prayers , Common . Glist . Sir , I shall pray for your Ladies health . Page . Fast too . Ex. Glist . A faire Reward ! T is Supper time : I le hence . My Pater Nosters shall be like her Pence . Ex. Evaldus , Augusta , Bellarm. Pallad : Museus , Artes. Form . Comod . Kettreena , Marina , Roscia , Phonilla , Tripit . All bow to the Oracle and take their places . Enter three Pythian Virgin Priests with Censers in their hands , in Linnen Robes , and crown'd with Bayes . Thrice bow to the Oracle . 1. Great Apollo , we adore thee . 2. We importune , we implore thee . 2. Thus we prostrate fall before thee . All bow to the Oracle . 1. Sacred Phebus draw thee nigher . 2. Grant the boone that we desire . 3. And resent our . holy Fire . Offer their Incense . 1. Thou before whose open eye 2. All unshadow'd secrets lye , 3. Cleare our doubts , and make reply . Bowe , and stepping nearer to the Oracle , bowe againe , and retiring back , bow the 3. time . 1. When Evaldus shall lay downe , Shall Bellarmo weare the Crowne ? Oracle , No . Bell. Apollo lyes : This is the Oracle I appeale to . Layes hand on his sword . Evald. On paine of death , keep silence there . Proceed . 2. When Evaldus shall lay downe , Shall Palladius were the Crowne ? Oracle , No . Pall . Nay now Apollo's ignorant or unjust . Eva . Silence once more . The next disturberdies . Proceed . 3. When Evaldus shall lay downe , Shall Museus weare the Crowne ? Oracle , No . 1 When Evaldus shall lay downe , 2 3 Whose head then shall weare the Crowne ? Oracle . The Babe unborne shall end the strife , Whose Mother is both Widow , Maid , and Wife . Aug. The Oracle speaks Treason , and Apollo's Priests Are all Impostors — A flash of fire from the Oracle ; A cloud of smoak ; which being vanisht , Augusta is found dead in her Chaire of State , her Crown struck off , convey'd upon Kettreena's head : Bellarmo , Palladius , and Trippit , dead upon the ground , and the 3. Pythians kneeling upon the floore . Evald. Are we all safe ? Are we not all consum'd ? For. Bellarmo's stricken dead . Kett. He 's in a trance , O chafe his Temples ! Art. Ye stand too close , Beare back , & give him aire . Com. Palladius . Mar. Bend him , O bend him forwards . For. He 's past recovery . Art. I feele no Pulse . Pho. Her eyes are open . Ros. Methinks I feele some breath . Art. Stand by . Evald. Are they all dead Artesio ? Art. All three as dead as earth . Evald. O unexampled Justice ! Who can stand Before the power of great Apollo's hand ? Augusta , let 's away ; Our flight may scape Approaching after-claps : Augusta , come . What , fall'n asleep ? Art. The Queene is in a Trance . Evald. Augusta . Ket . Heaven blesse the Queene . Ros. She stirs not . Ma. She breathes not . Art. Make roome , Stand farther off . Evald. O she is dead , Is any hope of life ? Art. Sir none at all . Evald. Augusta , deare Augusta , speak , Move but a finger : O she 's past all cure ! Ros. But where 's her Crowne ? Ma. Look here , upon Kettreena's head . Mus. How came it thither ? Kett. Most Royall Sir , How this Crown came here I cannot tell : Excuse me gracious Prince , Who humbly lay it at your sacred feet . Evald. Kettreena , keep it for us ; keep it safe , Till we require it , and dispose thereof . Apollo's will must be , who give us patience To beare his punishments : Take up the dead , And let us see them all bestow'd , and laid In the sad Clofets of eternall rest . Exeunt . Antony , Frank . Frank . Wou'd may never sweare if I had not rather ferve the great Turk in his Gallies , then a Court Lady in her humors . Ant. Sirrah , how the poore wenches trembled when we made them stay tother pint . But is my Lady so strict Frank ? Frank . O she 's a pestilent vixen when she 's angry , and as proud as Lucifer . She has been to me knowledge a whole houre by the Houre-glasse making Faces in a Looking-glasse . Sometimes putting out the nether lippe , sometimes bridling in the chinne ; sometimes forming of a smile , sometimes figging up her cheeks , sometimes kissing of her white hand , sometimes practising a new French Curtsie . And then Cis must be call'd , and then her Ladiships haire must be crispt , and then her Ladiships face must be complexion'd , and then her Ladiships teeth must be scaled , and then her Ladiships browes must be mullited , and then her Ladiships Turkie-egge must be eaten with a good grace . And then her Ladiships foysting dog must be comb'd , and then Cis must be sent for this dressing , and for that petticote , and Madge must be imploy'd for that plaine Hankercher , and then for that purl'd Gorget which Cis was filling all last night . Then fault must be found , then Cis must be chidden , and Madge must be rated : And her sullen Ladiship must keep her chamber all day , and at night her peevish Ladiship must be sick and goe to rest . Then at Midnight Cis must be call'd to kil the Flea that keeps her Ladiship from sleeping forsooth . Then Cis must slip on her petticote to see if the Hall-doore be shut , then downe againe to rate the dogs , then downe againe to fetch her Ladiship some Beere . Then Cis must look under the Bed ; after that into the Closer , to see if there be ne'r a Cat to break her Ladiships Glasses . Insomuch that I hold it the greatest misery i' th' world , next being a Lady , to be a Chambermaid . But I must away . Tony , farewell . Ant. Nay Frank , we 'll have one sresh pint to drink Madge and Cis's Healths before we part . Knock within . Anon , anon , presently , presently . Frank . But Tony , Tony , Tony , let it alone , for t is Hawking time ; My Hawk has been empty pannel'd these three houres . Knock within . Ant. I come , I come , presently , presently . Hang Hawks , we 'll have one pint . Knock within . By and by , By and by , I come I come . Frank . Prethee Tony be nimble then . Ex. Now had I as liefe goe a hanging as a hawking — Whatsoere the matter is , I ha' no mind to that sport . I de rather ha' Cis in my armes , then a leash a Partridges in my poutch : T is a feat Girle . O that this were my marriage day ! on that condition I went barefoot to bed . Pretty Rogue ! Well , I 'm resolv'd , what ere come on 't , I will marry and I must marry , and I will marry ere two dayes come to an end . Let my Lady get her a new Fawlconer , or eate Mutton if she please . O Mutton , Mutton , Mutton ! Well , I must marry , and I will marry ; To day I receive my wages , and to morrow I le buy a Licence , and next day Cis and I le clap hands , And hey ! then up goe we . Ent. Antony . Ant. Here Frank , a Health to Cis. Drinks . Frank . Come , I le pledge't , wer't a mile to the bottome . Pledges . Now Tony , fill me a cup : A Health to Madge . Drinks . Ant. Come away : Madge shall never go unpledg'd whilst I am worth a Pint , nor never want while I am worth a penny . Pledges . Frank . Thou art grown wondrous kind to day , Tony. Ant. I think the Moone 's i' th Hotti-totty , and all the loving Planicles are in Conjunction . Sirrah , I am so strangely taken within these two houres , that I ha' much adoe to keep my selfe honest . Frank . Hudds Wookers , I 'm i' th' same Predicature Tony. My Stars lend me honesty enough to light me to bed , and keep Cis out of my way . But tell me , how likest thou Cis ? Ant. Hougely well I perrest . As I live , t is a dainty Girle : She speaks so wisely and her words are so well plac'd , and she lisps so prettily , and so thweetely , And sirrah they say that lithping wenches are good to kith . Now tell me thy opinion of Madge . Frank . I tell thee Tony , she 's as good a creature as ever liv'd in a house , and as well belov'd of the servants . Thou shalt have a dainty huswife , and an excellent Starcher , and one that my Master respects above all the rest . If his Band be to be pinn'd , no body can please him but Madge ; When his Cornes are to be cut , none must do 't but Madge . If his Cuffe-strings are to be ty'd , none can tye 'em but Madge . When his Muskadine and Egges are to be prepar'd , none can please him but Madge : When his head akes , Madge must hold it : If his back itch , Madge must scratch it : And to her credit be it spoken , he sweares , for a Foot , and a Leg , and a dainty black eye , and a white smoothe skin , and a — Ant. No more good Frank , thou mak'st me mad . My Stars lend me but honesty enough till I have opportunity to lose it . Frank . And me but patience till Thursday . Ant. Why Thursday ? Frank . If I breathe , Cis and I le have a marriage day on t . Ant. Say'st thou me so ? Art in carnest ? Give me thy hand . Frank . I , as sure as this is flesh , and blood , & knuckles . Ant. If Madge and I don't the like ( if she be as willing as I ) hang Tony. But shall's marry in our old Cloathes ? Frank . Huds diggers , I 'de not stay till Friday for the Kings Wardrobe . Ant. A match then ! Give me thy clutch , Bring them bither a Thursday morning , by break a day , and wee 'l dispatch the businesse before the Crow pisse . Now Frank , here 's a Health to the happy day . ( drinks . Frank . Let it come , boy . pledges . Here 's another to the happy night . drinks . Ant. Come away . pledges . Anon , anon , presently , presently . Knock within . Farewell Frank . Frank . Tony farewell , and remember — Exeunt . Ant. Very very welcome , Gentlemen . Without . A pint a Canary in the Lyon , Skore ! Evald. Museus , Artesio , Form : Com : Kettreena , Rosia , Marina , Officers . Evald. I cannot rest , Artesio , till I purge This groaning Land of Pertenax his blood . For. See , here the Prisoners . Ent. Prisoners with Keepers Lact. Mercy , O mercy , gracious Prince . Quack . Mercy , dread Soveraigne , mercy . Evald. Wretches ; The way to Mercy , is Confession . Speak truth , Are ye guilty of this murther ? Lact. Most gracious Prince , I was no Actor in it . Quack . Nor I Contriver , may it please your grace . For. No , She contrived , and He acted it . Evald. Speak , is it so ? Come speak the truth . Lact. True gracious Soveraigne , but we hope for mercy from your gracious hands . Evald. Say , what Confederates had ye ? Quack . May't please your Grace , Lactusia set me on . Lact. Trippit first call'd me in . Evald. She has her punishment : Who writ the Letter ? Lact. The Queene , most Royall Sir . Quack . Who promis'd on her Royall faith to stand 'twixt me and danger . Sir , for her deare sake be gracious , Evald. O marble hearts , to plot so vile a fact Against such Dove-like Innocence as this . Points to Kettreena . Well , take them hence , and see due Justice done According to our Lawes , whereof we charge A present Execution . Prisoners . Mercy , O Mercy . T is the first offence . Be gracious to us . Mercy , mercy . Evald. Officers , Away with them . Exeunt . Since Heaven hath pleased to deprive us thus Of our deare Consort , our beloved Queene , We think it fit , to let our people know That we have made a second choice , to cafe The weighty Burthen of our carefull Crowne . Kettreena , bring the Crowne . Delivers it . And for thy paines , We here accept thee for our lawfull Spouse , To be our Consort in Augusta's stead : In pledge whereof we crowne thy Royall head . Dost thou consent Kettreena ? Crowns ber. Ent. Lact. with Keepers . Lact. Be pleas'd most Royall Sir to Give me leave to disburthen my conscience of a secret that concernes the State . Evald. Speak on . Lact. Sir , Augusta was no lawfull Queene . Mus. The woman's mad . For. Away with her . Lact. Good Sir be pleas'd to heare me out . Evald. Speak on , speak on . Lact. Kettreena was the lawfull Queene , whom newly borne , I then her Nurse , exchang'd for Augusta your late wife , who was no other but Artesio's daughter . Entic'd by him I did it , unto which He did corrupt me with a great reward . That this is truth , I seale it with my blood . Artesio , is 't not so ? Evald. Artesio speak . What say'st to this ? Art. Sir I 'm a dying man , if not by Law , by age . I , whom my frozen blood denyes to blush , Must not be bold to lye . Mus. I 'm likely to have a fine pull of this . Art. Lactusia speaks but truth : The Act 's confest . Mus. Are my hopes come to this ? Art. My life or death lies in Kettreena's brest . Evald. Officers conduct the Pris'ners back , and stay Their execution till you farther heare : If this be so , Evaldus must resigne Both place and Crowne , ( Leads up Kett. into the Chaire . And now an humble Subject joyne Omnes . With all the rest , and say , LONG LIVE OUR QUEENE KETTREENA . Mus. And now Museus may goe hang himselfe . Kett. Being thus ordain'd by heavenly powers to wear The sacred Crowne of unexpected Care ; And well advising , what great danger waits Upon the Scepters of ungovern'd States : Conscious of too much weaknesse to command So great a Kingdome with a single hand : W' are pleas'd to choose a Consort , in whose care The Realme hath prosper'd , and to whom we dare Commit our selfe and it . Evaldus , to requite thy charge , we choose Thee our deare Husband , and with sacred vowes We make thee partner in our unknowne bed , And set this Crowne Imperiall on thy head . Crownes him . And let the tongues of our good Subjects ring Loud peales of joy , Omnes . LONG LIVE EVALDUS KING . Evald. Two Crowns have blest Evaldus in one houre . This crowns my heart with joy : Embraces Kett. This crowns my head with power . Touches the Crown . Faire Queene , Artesio's punishment we leave To thy dispose . Kett. The personall offence we freely pardon ; But for the publique wrong , we must confine him . Evald. And left that after-Ages Should interrupt the right of true succession , We charge Museus to the self-same place : Where they shall want for nothing , but enjoy ( Excepting Freedome ) their owne hearts desires . Meane while , what Art , and Industry can doe T' expresse our joyes , and Subjects full content , Let not be wanting : Let us bend our care T' advance a publique mirth , and to prepare Such Triumphs , whose bright Honour might display A panick joy , and glorifie the day Of Marriage-Royall , solemniz'd betweene New-crown'd Evaldus , and his Royall Queene . Exeunt . 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