Typhon, or, The gyants war with the gods a mock-poem, in five canto's. Typhon. English Scarron, Monsieur, 1610-1660. 1665 Approx. 103 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 84 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A62319 Wing S836A ESTC R11955 12537641 ocm 12537641 62881 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A62319) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 62881) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 291:5) Typhon, or, The gyants war with the gods a mock-poem, in five canto's. Typhon. English Scarron, Monsieur, 1610-1660. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [4], 160 p. Printed for Samuel Speed ..., London : 1665. Translation of Typhon by John Phillips. Written by Scarron. Cf. Halkett & Laing (2nd ed.). Reproduction of original in British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TYPHON : OR , The Gyants War WITH The Gods. A MOCK-POEM . In Five CANTO'S LONDON : Printed for SAMUEL SPEED , at the Rainbow in Fleetstreet , between the two Temple-Gates . 1665. THE Argument OF THE WHOLE . THe Gyant Typhon's mighty strength ; His courage , inches , and his length : The threats , the menaces and odds 'Twixt him , the Gyants and the Gods. Those wonders which as yet but few know , Besides those Gods and Madam Juno ; And they are wiser then to tell Disasters to themselves befell . The nimble God from heaven sent Returnes with Gyants Complement : At which the Gods begin to tremble , And straight a Parliament assemble ; Who for preventing future harms , Consult on manner of their Arms : Debating long , it is decreed That Vulcan fall to work with speed . With ill success : again they arm , Renew a second time the fight With like success , are put to slight . Back they return , and gain the odds ; They rout , and they pursue the Gods , Who cunningly do vary shape In Wood , the better to escape . The Gods bethink it base to range In Woods like beasts , and therefore change Their borrow'd shapes : at Nylus-banks God Mercury performs his pranks They cloath themselves , to Memphis go ; The Priest and People kindness show : Great Hercules they send for , who Attends them with no more ado . Jove and his son Alcides go By joynt consent in quest of foe . Gyants scale heaven to a wonder ; From thence are headlong thrown by Thunder . A fight determines ; where 's the odds , On Gyants side , or on the Gods. Gyants are slaine , and Typhon flies : Great Jove pursues , and Typhon dies . TYPHON : OR , The Gyants War. CANTO I. The ARGUMENT . The Gyant Typhon's mighty strength ; His courage , inches , and his length : The threats , the menaces and odds 'Twixt him , the Gyants and the Gods. Those wonders which as yet but few know , Besides those Gods and Madam Juno ; And they are wiser then to tell Disasters to themselves befel : I Sing ( though not in strain as they In ev'ry line do merit Bay ) Not Hector , or the brave AEneas , Amphiarus , nor Dapaneus ; Nor yet of Thetis valiant son , Nor Prentice stout of famous Lon - Don-Town ; they 're all such little brats , That unto these they seem but Sprats Of whole bold deeds I mean to write : I chant o' th' man so full of might , Before whom Thunder-thumping Iove Ran swifter then from Hawk doth Dove . I treat of horrid Typhon's acts , Whose eyes do equalize his facts , And out of whose each shoulder springs As many arms as there are Strings On all the Fiddles of this Town , Or Sheep that graze on Barsted-down . Among which arms there doth appear A head would cause Old Nick to fear , And tremble too , did he but gaze on 't , I 'll lay a Piece with him that layes on 't . So cross a Rogue was never seen By Begger blinde of Bednal-green With boy his eyes . So much for that : Now of his Brothers I must chat A while ; and let you understand , Such children never were of Land , ( Nor of the Earth ; but for Rhimes sake , The Land for Earth this time I take . ) But to the point : pox on the Rhime , 'Thas forc'd me to commit a Crime Against exactness . ) These Braves then , Who look'd like devils more then men , Yeelded not in the least for strength , For thickness , talness , bredth or length , For rooting strong oaks , tearing rocks , Breaking doors , or picking locks , Passing the Seas without a bridge , Or skipping o'er a great house-ridge ; Making a Switch of greatest Oak , With which the bones of Gods they broke That ne'er did brag on 't ( when return'd Up to the heav'ns , where had sojourn'd Their Godships ) unto their said brother Both by the father and the mother . I have digressed somewhat long : No matter , now I 'll to 't ding-dong . You Muses nine that saw the fight From horrid mount , and in what plight The Gods were , when great Iove with fear Ran here and there , and everywhere ; Upon his Horse-bird got astride ; The devil take the hindmost , cry'd ; And ran as swift from Pole to Pole , As if h'd had at his bum-hole The God of Fire ; in danger great To break his neck ere the retreat Had been accomplisht ; till his Bird On Nilus-sands did drop a T — Fain would I know the thing ( or shape ) The fearful Gods did deign to Ape ▪ For this most certain is , and true , They all did fear and tremble too : But whether Conquest Gyants great Did favour , or the Gods did beat , Is not confirm'd ; for since that time Has not been seen in any clime Gyants nor Gods ; which makes some say There 's no such thing ( a-lack-a-day ! ) As Muses nine , or God Apollo . But mark you what doth after follow : For Mercury ( the King of Posts ) Brings this same news from both the hosts . All in the Land of Lumbardy There dwelt , a Kyte ? no , let me see , There dwelt a Gyant : now I 'll speed , ( The better day , the better deed ) 'T was on a Sunday just past noon , That Typhon having with a Spoon Big as is an English Wherry , Cramb'd as much as Gut could carry Of Whales white-broth , and of the meat , Which in his Maw did cause a heat , Invited Brothers , gentile Lubbers , To play with him at Nine-pins , Rubbers . I think 't is fit to let you know , Before I any further go , Those Pins they were long-pointed rocks That with his hands , and some few knocks H 'ad fram'd , that they lookt even so : The Bowl beat out ( by strength of blow ) Of the same stuff ; though not so round , But that there might be rounder sound . It was about the midst of May , When jolly was the world , and gay : Thessalia was the proper place In which this jovial Gyant-race Did make their Match , in Recreation To play a Set for a Collation At Nine-pins . Eight did fiercely play ; The other betted ( as some say . ) The three first Games this gallant troop Did play , they took the pains to stoop , And minde their sport : but growing hot With tossing too much of the Pot , ( For they had Ale and strong Beer plenty , More then enough for them and twenty ) They grew to words , from words to blows : But Typhon with the crooked nose Stept in between , and cry'd out , Peace ; Whereat the hubbub straight did cease , So that they spent the whole long day Without a blow , or farther fray Then has bin mention'd . But much better It had been , to prevent a greater Mischief , had each giv'n to his mate A rouzing blow upon the pate , And cross the shins a thousand knocks , Then Typhon with the snakie locks Had with a Pin got such a blow , As made him rub from knee to toe . It was the great Encelades ( Pox on his picture ) broke the peace ; Though some say 't was against his will , And meerly by the want of skill : But Typhon ne'ertheless was neer , For knock exchanging cuff o' th' ear . But having made on deed reflexion , And of his thoughts a recollection , Still grinning in disdainful wise , And Lightning flashing from his eyes , He gather'd Nine-pins up and Boul , ( No Gyant daring him controul ) And hurl'd them up with such a might , As that they vanisht out of sight , And could no more be seen by eyes , But in a moment pierc'd the skies , And to augment the Gyants wonder , Did rattle there as claps of Thunder , Rushing into the very place Where Gods the Goddesses embrace : Though they poor souls did not surmize That Nine-pins would idolatrize : But cramming Panches full with Nectar , Such as the Goddesses expect for Appetite , but by reversion ; For there they hold it an aspersion , As they in France allow a woman To gurmundize and drink with no man ; But now and then in private they Will tipple Nectar fast as Whey . And thus the Gods resolv'd to drink , Till night appear'd as black as Ink. Stout Mars took nothing but Tobacco , Caring not a Fart for Sack though , Shunning all celestial rooms Not scented with Tobacco's fumes . For since in Holland he had been , And purchas'd Honour to the keen - Ness of his weapon , he would dare With any's valour to compare ; That being noted for a Bragger , Some Wags ycleped him Sword-dragger : Yet lov'd he nothing more then smoak And Beer , for which he 'd pawn his Cloak , And did ; but nought could yet prevail , To work a league with him and Ale : A firy God , and so uncivil , He onely liv'd to drink and drivel ; True signe his birth and bringing up Proceeded from the Pipe and Cup. But Iupiter , who drank his fill , Lay fast asleep close by his Gill : Iuno lay by Silenus's Ass : ( He Bacchus foster-father was . ) Who saw them in this plight , might think They had but little need of drink . I will not say , Here lay a Punk , Or there lay one was worse : but drunk They were like Gods ; and ev'ry Goddess Lay reeking as the joynt that sod is . Drink by Philosophy we finde , Quells perturbations of the minde ; Dissolves those cares that do controul The life and vigour of the soul. In such a sleep the Gods were cast : But when a nap or two was past , They being frighted with the noise Caus'd by those Nine-pins , Gyant-boys Had flung ; Iove starting up , quoth he , Is this a time to disagree ? Dissentions are for mortal elves ; Gods should agree among themselves . By this we seem as Fools and Cods heads , With Nine-pins to assault the Gods heads . The Deities by this time heard Ioves voice , which made them sore afeard : When scales were from the eye-lids broke , Had they known how , they would have spoke ; But standing all as in a maze , With eyes did nothing else but gaze , Quoth Iupiter once more , Who 's there ? Where are you all ? Bring me a Chayr . But Venus half awake ( good heart ) In stead of answer , let a fart : But straightway conscious of a guilt , And fearing scent from what was spilt ; Quoth she , 'T is nothing , dreadful Sir. You lye , you Whore ; I heard a stir , And I will know what is the matter . Thus Iove continu'd raving at her . Venus said nought , but thought the more , And pouted at the stile of Whore. Iove raging still more fierce and mad , Well may we think not one was glad . Twice , by the Alcoran he swore , And bit his thumbs as oft , or more . Pallas observing well this fit , Forsakes the place where she doth sit , Or lie , 't is no great matter which ; It seems her fingers ends did itch To be with Iove : so having bow'd , Spoke words like these , ( but not aloud ) Great Sir , whose anger is as fire , Consuming such as feel your ire , Be as a God , more prone to love Then to destroy : Oh let me move Your pitie ; hearken unto me : Those Cups which on the ground you see Broke into fitters , and those Glasses , Are all your own : but now what passes On earth , which caus'd your Glasses fate , I cannot to your Grace relate : Thus much , your Glasses all are broke , Too brittle to endure the stroke Come from the Earths side ; likewise they That did the fact are fled away . Quoth Iove , ( & frowning , bit his tong ) The villain shall repent this wrong , Could I but know him . Momus cry'd , Surely you are all heavie ey'd ; ( And with that mirth he 's always in ) 'T is nothing but a blow with Pin. Quoth angry Iupiter , Buffoon , Leave fooling , or repent it soon : Is this a time to carp and jest , When Mortals dare the Gods molest ? If you 'd have heels be kept from fetters , Be mute in presence of your betters ▪ No more of that ; but now I 'll know What mortal there can be below , Durst in this manner break my rest , Or hatch such treason in his brest ? Are not the heavens Ninepin-proof ? I swear by Pegasus his hoof , I 'll be reveng'd of Pins and Bowl . Quoth Pallas , Sir , upon my soul There 's not a Glass left whole : Mon Dieu , The Gods themselves must drink in shoe . Thus each day does create new pranks ; Mortals ( for mirth ) deserve our thanks . The thanks return'd shall as Rue ( bitter ) Be unto all , quoth Iupiter : If straight I put not Rods in piss For them , they will do worse then this : By Pluto , my revenge shall flie ( As th' injury , and I am ) high . As Iove was venting thus his spleen , Sol enters with his wearied Teem , And hearing Iove make such a clatter , Said to the next , Pray what 's the matter ? Straight did Silenus tell him what Befel them all , and what had not . Says Sol to Iove , I 'll tell you , Sir , For I saw all that caus'd this stir . Be brief , quoth Iove , ( and omit nothing ) Because prolixity is loathing . Sol having briefly laid the state Of dreadful Typhons acts of late ; Quoth Iove , A word to th'wise : now stay , I will that straight , without delay , God Mercury descend to th' earth ; His message 't is must spoil their mirth : Let him shew Typhon his mistake , Who thinks of Iove an Ass to make ; Tell him , his Gyant-like retinue , Nor all the stock of their Revenue , Shall hinder justice : they shall know , Whether 't is I , am Iove or no. Be sure you do your Message well , In State and Order ; to them tell Their own . Mercury having heard The Embassie , he stroakt his beard , ( Or Chin in lieu ) saluted hand , And scrap'd a leg : I understand ( Quoth he ) my duty , and the strife . With that he 'gins to handle Knife , Or Sword , which girting on his side , Doth next his Snakie Staff provide : Slips on his winged shooes , on 's head He clapt his feather'd Cap , and fled As fast as wings could bear him down , O'er River , Citie , Wood and Town . At last he came unto the place Where Typhon and his Gyant-race ( Some standing , others sate on Crup Were just providing for their Supper : Of what that Supper did consist , See here a true and perfect List. An hundred lustie Oxen slain , Which they had stole by might and main From Herds-men ; Sheep some four times more , Got by the means as said before , Which Cacus a notorious knave , Had stole by night , and hid in Cave : 'T was he that thought he once could beat ( And fought with ) Hercules the Great ; But lost his Kingdom , and at length His life , by Hercules his strength . This Cacus did in Carthage raign ; At length in Italy was slain . There leave we him , and fall to Mutton , As good as ever knife was put on . Their Sheep they roasted whole on Trees , In stead of Spits , and that with ease : Trees that for length , & strength , & barks , Bore Sheep as little Spits do Larks . The rank beneath was less ; the last , About the smalness of a Mast. Their fire a Forest was , which they Design'd before for that same day . They thus prepar'd , in came the God , Who crying , Humh ! and giving nod , Began his brief and formal story , And they to round him tory-rory . Quoth one of them , Whoop holiday ! 'T is very true , what do you say ? Then quoth another , with disdain , The God is out , begin again . I tell you once more , that great Iove ( Quoth Mercury ) who rules above , Has sent me here , to let you know He rules ( as well as there ) below ; And were you bigger then you are Ten times , yet he is higher far : Your men are Rogues , & women Whores , And he 's resolv'd to pay your scores : His threats are chiefly to you , Typhon , For having lewdly spun your life on , He sendeth word you are a Knave , A Thief , a Cheat , a Rascal , Slave ; And does command that straight you go And buy him Glasses : doing so , If they be Venice , number cent , His choler may no farther vent . Then , with acknowledgement of blame , Present to Iupiter the same ; And let him ( with submission ) know , 'T is your request to kiss his toe : Be ready too , without a halt , To cry Peccavi for your fault : Then if you adde , 'T is past and gone , And never shall the like be done ; This contest may not onely end , But Iupiter will be your friend . The Gyants hearing this discourse , With stomacks big as that of horse Began with scorn to laugh and scoff . The God in studie to get off , As being fearful . Typhon then : Though you are Gods , and we but Men , ( Quoth he ) yet know , for I 'll be plain , If you a quarrel will maintain , And that with neither fear nor wit ; Tell Iove , I hold no answer fit , But this : We will not purchase Glasses For him , nor his celestial Asses : Let him send Ganimed , that elf , Or take the pains to go himself . The nimble God before in plight , Was now enraged at this slight ; In milde expressions gave a threat , But durst not any more repeat : For Gyants valu'd Gods no more Then Swine do Pearl , or costly Ore. But Mercury , more knave then fool , Put up ( as Proverb saith ) his Tool ; And instantly he took his flight , Till gotten clearly out of sight . We 'll now suppose h 'as reacht his home , And unto Iupiter is come : For he had flown with greater speed Then I can write , or you can read . The Gods themselves that hourly move In highest orbs , can drink and love ; And so did Iove , who scorn'd to shrink , Whilst heart to love , or mouth to drink : He drank so much that very day , That all his Sense was fled away ; And Mercury concealed Tale , Till Iove had slept away his Ale. CANTO II. The ARGUMENT . The nimble God from heaven sent Returns with Gyants Complement : At which the Gods begin to tremble , And straight a Parliament assemble ; Who for preventing future harms , Consult on manner of their Arms : Debating long , it is decreed That Vulcan fall to work with speed . JVpiter's Mistress , red as Rose , Was dropping dew from eyes or nose ; 'T is all a case : for drops are drops , Come they from eyes , or nose , or chops . Her grief occasion'd by a fly-blow , Yclep'd by knowing ones , a by-blow : Calisto 't was , Diana's Maid , Whom Iupiter to lust betraid . Gods are ( like mortals ) dull & stupid , When once they 're subject unto Cupid : If there 's brutality in Men , Or Gods , it must be chiefly then . Yet strange to think , the Gods should do What Men abhor , and blush at too : But Gods and Men in folly move , When captiv'd by the power of love . When Mercury arose from sleep , 'T was then he saw Calisto weep . Have you not in a Chimney seen A sullen Faggot moist and green ; How slowly it admits of heat , And does not onely weep , but sweat ? So fares an unexperienc'd Virgin , When Iupiter himself is urging : But dry-wood-like , the practick Dame Cracks , and rejoyces at the flame . Quoth Mercury , If thus you grieve , I must do so , or must not live : O let me know your cause of sorrow . But rising up , quoth she , Good-morrow . So parted Mercury and her . At length he came to Iupiter , Right early , for avoiding blame ; And him he found in bed with Dame , Who being sensible of wrong She had receiv'd , was using tongue : For Iupiter had often stunk With drink , when home returning drunk : Her help still nothing but condoling , Whilst he abroad was Caterwoling : For this same little fault he had , Sometimes he would a Whoring gad ; In other matters none more civil , ( For there are dues belong to devil ) And to speak truth , no equal there is To him in Lombardy or Paris ; Nor can the like of him be found All over the Vtopian ground . God Mercury was loth to venter At first , but by and by did enter , Just as he heard the Goddess say , What shall that Maiden do , I pray ? What mad-man do you think will take her Now you have plow'd upon her Acre ? Iove seeing Mercury appear , As one most glad to see him there , Without his Slippers or his Hose , To rise he does himself dispose ; And straightway gives the God command To let him clearly understand The cause o'th'late and sudden action , What Typhon says for satisfaction ; Or if the mortals dar'd to own Th' abuses they of late had done . ( Great Iove ) quoth Mercury , I 'll tell What during my abode befel Since I descended from the skie , ( And hang me if I tell a lie ) Though 't was my study to dehort all , They cry'd , The Gods like us are mortal : And if in strength did lie the odds , Then they themselves would all be Gods. Quoth they , This carry to your Iove ; Nor threats , nor he himself shall move Us to excuse whatever Fate By our directions did of late . Then howl'd they as if they were mad : I fearing their intentions bad , And that in this their dreadful ire They'd synge my wings with flames of fire , Did sneak away . They seeing that , Cry'd out , Halloo , a Rat , a Rat ; Hold him there . I , in this sad plight , Had almost lost my ears and sight : For , what with smoak of fire , and noise , I hardly saw , or heard I voice But what was most confus'd : I 'm sure , I understand thus much , endure Such an affront ? 't is leud and base ; We 'll geld the rogue upon the place . At this their rudeness , wonder not If by agility I got Away . Here Iove commanded son Forbear : Enough , quoth he , ha' don : Go , get your breakfast , then in haste Summon the Gods ; let no time waste : Be diligent to let them know I 'd have their counsels 'gainst the foe . Iove wisely thought few words were best , Kept his intentions in his brest ; Onely he frown'd , and then he swore ; Said little , though he thought the more . Typhon the while , we may agree , Did swear and rant as fast as he : This news report did straight afford , Typhon would come with fire and sword , With him the stout Encelades , With divers others great as these . That Gyant Mimas fierce and proud , Stood up , and spake his thoughts aloud ; He curs'd the Gods , and in his tale Said much , that did as much prevail With Typhon's humour : quoth he , Now We all must make a solemn Vow To be reveng'd of this same Iove , That threatens Thunder from above : Be you as me , and I as you , We 'll finde him work enough to do . What if he doth somtimes with Thunder Rend Steeples , Tow'rs , & Rocks asunder ? Cannot we do the same , or can He that which can't be done by man ? If we unite , by strength of arm , Our valour shall outdo a Charm. Couragious friends , what need we fear ? I 'll pluck him from his stately Chayr By th'beard , and thereby hurl him round , Until his length upon the ground Be measur'd : then I 'll set in flames His Starry house , and make his Dames Or Goddesses from that time prove The strength of me , and fate of Iove : Nay , Venus , Pallas , Iuno proud , I 'll get with bearn in softest cloud . What if the Titans they did rout ? 'T was not because the Gods were stout ; It was a pannick fear possest The Titans ; they in thought possest , At first gave way , anon they run : So by their folly were undone : From thence we must derive the date Of Star-cross Tytan's rigid fate : A meer Goat-skin affrighted so , They ran without or stroak or blow , As if they met ( as people say ) Not to engage , but run away . Those of them that appeared stout , Were forc'd to do as did the rout ; And good shift too , for by Orlando , A man can do but what he can do . But we 'll be like our selves : now see Which of you all will follow me : For he that dares in field to die , Does in the bed of Honour lie : Nor can those Heroes once be dead , But sleep , when laid in Honours bed . Typhon with gladness hearing this , Said to the rest , It were amiss Long to defer their punishment . Quoth Mimas then , By your consent Let us all laugh , rant , tear the ground , So loud , that they may hear the sound On high , the place where they reside ; The noise will somwhat quell their pride : A Match , then cry'd Porphyrion , Who soon was answer'd by Thoon . This Thoon was of Trojan birth , And by Vlysses kill'd to earth . Then joyntly they began to Hollow ; The chief among them were as follow : Great Ephialtes , Neptune's son , He who the attribute had won Of Gyant huge , for strength and hew ; For he nine inches monthly grew : Iapet , Pelor , Celadon , Athos , Damasor , Gration , Cycaon , Clytius , Echion , Pollibotes , Laomedon , Pallenus , and Alcyoneus , Almops , Cynus , and Besbeus , Briareus , Ceractus , and Clius , Anteus , Ascus , Titius , Numantia , Gyas , Bergion , Pallas , Lapetus , and Albion , Lyncus , Buricus , Coeus , Argyropes , and Aloeus , Euritus , Agrius ; with these , The King of Thrace , Diomedes : They all at once did howl and roar , Made thousand antick tricks and more ; And on a sudden they did bawl , A Typhon , Typhon , one and all . Whilst thus they did conspire below , Iove in the clouds ran to and fro , Banning and cursing Carman-like , Commands that neither Gun , nor Pike , Sword , Halbert , Headpiece , Back or Brest , Be wanting in each quarter ; rest Abandons : thus he threatens wonders , Which shortly he 'd perform by Thunders ; Commandeth Mercury prepare Some Exhalations fine and rare ; Use skill and art , but no remorse ; Get them by fair means or by force . The speedy God in haste did run , And told his Message to the Sun ; Who answer'd , he had no such trash But what required ready Cash . The little God assur'd him then , If trust , he should be paid agen . At length quoth Sol , Come , let me see , I seldom deal with friends like thee : Tell Iove , I 'll furnish him with store ; And if he wants , he shall have more . Mercury breaking air in haste , Soon reacht his place forsaken last ; There found he all the Gods assembled , Some stunk for fear , and others trembled ( At these fell Gyants impudence ) A third sort had nor wit nor sense . As soon as Mercury they spy'd , Before , behinde , on every side They flockt about him , to enquire What arms , what men , and what attire The Gyants us'd against their foes . Quoth Mercucy , There 's none but knows As much as I : for can you think That I , that forced was to wink That little time I tarry'd there , Could learn so much as one affair Of what you have so lately spoke ? But I presume they fight with smoke : For I so thorowly was fill'd With fumes , that fearing to be kill'd , I gladly scap'd away . The Gods , By sighs , by symptoms , and by nods , Exprest their careful zeal : for when Gyants are more then meerly men , And threaten to do more then elves , The Gods should seem above themselves . Now by unanimous consent , They straightway call'd a Parliament . Down do they all in order sit , ( Not by their Honestie or Wit , But ) as in Honour they excel , Their method was exactly well . As for Example , God of Seas Took place of him was God of Pease Or Gardens ; and the God of Wine Preceded this , be'ng of the Line And Royal Bloud of mighty Iove , ( Reasons strong enough to move ) To them came Iupiter , with Crown On 's head , on back Skie-colour'd Gown , With Cupid bearing up his Train , For fear of rents , or spots , or stain ; Neatly comb'd and curl'd his hair ; In 's hand a Thunder-bolt he bare , But not so big as them he throws From high , t'exteminate his foes : It was a Pocket-Thunderbolt , Scarce big enough to kill a Colt Not three days old ; onely to shew What Iupiter had pow'r to do : And some there are which do presume 'T was fill'd & stuff'd with sweet Perfume . Next unto him , with visage milde , Old Time came creeping as a childe ; Weary'd , upon his Sythe he leant , With coming thither almost spent : He plac'd himself within a Chayr Next his own son , that he might hear The better . Age had struck him blinde , Or deaf , the truth I cannot finde . Nor is 't material . Pallas then , ( Who something knew belong'd to men ) At first sate down ; but lifting breech From seat , she thus deliver'd speech : Ye Gods , we 're here together met ; What then remains , but that we set In Council how to manage Wars With Gyants that occasion Jars ? Thus said , the Hector Mars stood up , ( And he it seems had got a Cup Too much ) he ratled Oaths so loud , They crackt like Thunder in a cloud : Quoth he , Away with all this noise ; I 'll bring you Typhon and his boys My self : the Gods would honour those Too much , should they appear as foes : Their weapons and themselves I scorn ; Who dares not die , should not be born . Quoth Iove , By all the Gods of Greece , I 'll make that Rascal hold his peace : Thou Flash , 't was Neptune's turn to speak . Mars hearing this , began to sneak ; Sat down as quiet as a Lamb , But in his heart did curse and damn . Iove's brother having hauk'd and hum'd I mean old Neptune cold and num'd , And having spit a pool of Fleam , That stuck in 's throat , & spoil'd his theam When put off hat , and made a bow , He would have spoke , but knew not how The Gods , that like himself were sage , However , did respect his age , Advis'd him cover head with hat , For fear of cold : so down he sat , Adjudging it more meet to sit , Then standing up to cough and spit Among the Gods , who not a few , Were thereby almost like to spew . Then Bacchus who was sitting by , And laughing till he seem'd to cry , Took Handkerchief , and wiping eyes , Impos'd a silence in the skies : But having drank his mornings dose , Quoth he , In spight of Typhon's nose , I 'll an Imbargo lay on Wine ; Nor shall it be consum'd by Swine : For such these Gyants are ; if then They want good Wine , like other men They will appear ; they 're now the high'r By help of Grape that does inspire . The Gods themselves are but as Specter , ( So Men ) if not refresht by Nectar . If they continue drinking Wine , Or feed upon Westphalia-swine , Mushrooms , Shallots , Anchoves , and The chiefest dainties of the Land : So long as they shall have no lack Of Sherry , Malago , and Sack ; They 'll drink until they are as drunk As they that fight for Madam Punk : They 'l call us rogues , & whores & Panders , And those are excellent Maeanders Wherein ( if Gyants are not watcht , The Gods may suddenly be catcht . Thus Bacchus having gravely spoke , Momus , that even then awoke , ( For he before had slept ) stood up , Quoth he , Give Bacchus t'other cup : He that speaks sense deserves to drink ; Fill him some Nectar to the brink : He spake sense now , but drank before ; Give him some drink , he 'll utter more : It should be ( Ganimede ) your part To be provided with a Quart For whoso wants . Thus went he on , Till Iove cry'd out , No more , ha' done , You carping Knave ; or if you 'll not , I 'll mince you small as herbs in pot : Or if you drop a word i' th' way , When any here hath ought to say : This is no more a place for laughing , Then for untimely talk , or quaffing . For all these checks , you may believe The Knave laught at him in his sleeve . Then quoth Salasia , Neptune's wife , This Momus does delight in strife . More she 'd have said , when Vulcan came Limping to Iove , ( for he was lame ) And Blacksmith-like , without a Band , By 'r leave , quoth he , with Cap in hand : Great Sir , I judge we ought to shew What dutie you may claim as due : Yet if you have your eye or ear From Momus , he doth laugh and jear . Then Iupiter I know it well , He 's such another fiend of hell : Nor he , nor any of his Race , Were ever worth a Fiddle-case . But 't is no matter : pray retire , And tell us , thou great God of Fire , The means to quell these Gyant-dogs . Let me alone to forge out Clogs , Quoth Vulcan : but I 'll tell you , Sirs , The best defence against the Curs Is to bar up your windows all With iron Grates , and raise your wall : I 'll forge them out so strong , you 'll say , The workman merits double pay : They shall defend with so much ease , Heav'n needs no other bars then these . The thing requires some haste , I trow ; Straight to my Cyclops will I go , And cause them beat with strength of arm Bars to protect the Gods from harm . So fare you well . 'T was Momus now , That next with tongue began to plow : For 't is to him as Cash and Diet To talk , and poison to be quiet . Quoth he , 'T is foolish ; Gyants are So tall , they 'll reach to iron bar , There fix a hold , by that means get Perhaps to place where now we sit : For if they once get hold of Grate , They 'll quickly burst a room for pate ; And if the head does enter hollow , The body certainly will follow : Now let them use their utmost skill , They can't get in , so hugely ill Their holding is ; for Gyant proud Has nothing to embrace but cloud . Quoth Iupiter , I pray give o'er , We have consider'd this before : What you say we 'll prevent with Guard Shall watch from time the Gods are barr'd ; And they conclude it must be Iron That shall the Deities environ . Thus having said , they all agree To stand or fall by Iove's decree . By this time night came on , and they Adjourn'd to th' next approaching day : For sitting all this while on Crupper , From morning till the time of Supper , They weary'd were ; but now they come As fast as legs could carry bum : One party takes his way to Tavern , Others dispose themselves for Cavern ; But he that made himself a guest , However hasted to his rest . CANTO III. The ARGUMENT . The Gyants give the first Alarm With ill success ▪ again they arm , Renew a second time the fight With like success , are put to flight . Back they return , and gain the odds ; They rout , and they pursue the Gods , Who cunningly do vary shape In Wood , the better to escape . THe news of Gyants war is hot : Some say they 'l fight , & some say not : But Gods and Gyants do intend By War to seek each others end . The Gyants think it better far , Then be as meerly Gyants are : For if of Iove they gain the odds By conquest , they shall all be Gods. Iove likewise summons Exhalations , With other warlike preparations : With these ( as in a trice ) he tries To plant defences for the skies . The Gyants being told by Scout , ( For such went hourly in and out ) They silently without bravado , Consult to stop the Barricado . For things of such a nature sprung , Want action rather then a tongue . So having labour'd all that night , Without or noise , or use of light , Encelades the Gyant bold At first attempt almost got hold Of window small , & thought with chains To make a bridge should answer pains , By which according to his will , With ease he 'd tumble hill on hill . Now by great chance , as Iove would ha 't , He having got a worm in pate , While other of the Gods were sleeping , Had near-hand dearly paid for peeping : For standing high upon a Cricket , With hand he open'd heaven-Wicket ; Encelades began to run : Ods waouns , quoth Iove , we 're all undone . Both were amaz'd ; but Gyant pist A mighty river ere he list Look back : then seeing Iove to nod ; Let Iove be ne'er so much a God , Quoth he , I 'll to him , and relate , As Prophet , his prodigious fate . But Iove was not so much a fool , To stay when Gyant put up tool : For you may think , 't would stir his bloud To see the Gyant piss a floud , And then return with courage new . Iove knowing better what to do , Wisely clapt to the Wicket , and Cry'd to the Gyant , Prethee stand , And cool thy heels . With this his voice Iuno awoke , and hearing noise , Came running : she for haste had spread An old blue Apron on her head ; And on her breech , in stead of coat , A thredbare Cloak not worth a groat : 'T was Gammed's ; but I shall spare To shew its cause of being there . Iuno through cranny did espy Encelades was standing by ; And judging fit , ( as she had reason ) Extended mouth to utter Treason ; And she was not of chops so small , But that she could full loudly baul . Two of the Gods with sword in hand Rusht headlong in : the one cry'd , Stand. Iove mean while keeps a heavie pother : Some Powder here , the rogues to smother ; My Thunder-bolt , my Match , my Flask : Now come , you dogs , I 'll set a task , Quoth he ; and instantly doth catch Up Powder , Thunder-bolt , and Match : No noise , quoth he , of Pipe and Drum ; Finger on nose , and crying Mum : He fits his tackling ; then quoth he , What Iove can do , you straight shall see : With that , unto the window goes , Opes it , and stands upon his toes , Thunder in hand , and strutting now , As in the gutter does the Crow . But Fate had almost done its worst : For whenas Iupiter did burst The Wicket open second time , Encelades did upward climb ; For he had piled stones below , Whereon he stood : and it was now , As soon as Iove had gotten thither , Encelades with quill or feather So brusht the God upon the eye , That he cry'd out , I die , I die : For you may note , the quill was big , Or Iove would not have car'd a fig : Besides , with stroak , upon the ground Was cast , and thereby fear'd a wound : But as it hapt , the greatest hurt Was onely that he fell in durt . Iove was no sooner on his back , But all the rest amazed pack : 'T was wisdom to secure their lives , ( And they must go , the devil drives . ) Iove seeing all were fled away , Got up , and ran as fast as they : And well he scap'd ; for what says Pluck ? The greater Knave , the better luck . The Wicket was ( it seems ) so small , That Gyant had no room to crawl : Which Iove perceived ( being gone ) As far as we may cast a stone : And if from thence he had not seen Encelades to stick between , As Ram that is trappan'd in thicket , Iove never had return'd to Wicket : For at that time , one silly elf Might beat a God or two himself , Their fear amaz'd them so . But when Great Iove returned back agen , Encelades the Gyant saw 'T was time and wisdom to withdraw ; And so he did , with much ado : But Lord , the rubbish that they threw On 's head , when he was gotten down ! And after they had Piss-pots thrown , Went heaps of stones to further slaughter , And Kettles too of scalding water . This made the Gyant quit his place To Mimas , one of Loobie-race , Who loving mischief with his heart , Most ready was to take his part : And th' other Gods on noise of summon , Forsaking beds , in clusters come on ; Some so possest with Leaden sleep And terrour , that they seem'd to peep Through the thin curtains of their eyes . Immediately the Gods advise : The number now grown great , 't was hard You 'll say , if Iove should want a guard ; Nor did he : for when Gyant rascal Came , quoth Iove , My friends , I ask all , Will ye agree to fight ? for why ? You have your choice , or fight , or die : My resolution is to force on , Beyond the angry strength of Orson : But they as Gods made this resolve , Whatever dangers do involve , We 'll follow thee ; nor will we spare In thy behalf to do and dare . With that , Iove taking heart-a-grace , Pluckt Thunderbolt from out of case , And having prim'd and cookt the same , Now then , quoth he , begins the game . By this time Mimas ( almost enter'd ) Surprized Iove , who forthwith ventur'd , Discharging of his Thunder-gun , ( The biggest ever seen by Sun. ) No sooner had the Powder took , But instantly a mighty nook From Gyant Mimas monstrous snout Flew off ; which grieved him , no doubt . But hold , methinks I hear it sed , Could Gyant Mimas get in head And body too , when as the other Could not , with all his art and pother ? For information , you may conster Encelades the greater Monster : I have consulted those that know , And have maintain'd it with a Vow , Mimas was much the lesser man , By furlongs three , and half a span . When Mimas did perceive his treat , He fear'd his dangers might be great : As Proverb saith , his judgement saw , Necessity has little Law. Out did he get mroe fast then in : 'T is true , he left behinde his chin ; What then ? 't is better when in strife , To lose a chin , then forfeit life . 'T was now , when Gods perceived this , That they unanimously hiss ; Call'd Gyant coward , frown'd , and strut , As Cocks o' th' game within a Hut : Their uproar was so hugely lowd , That other Deities do crowd ; From divers parts they 're seen to run , This with a Pitchfork , that with Gun , Another with a Spit , a fourth Perhaps with weapon lesser worth : For when they heard the noise command , Each seiz'd on what came next to hand . The jolly troop in this disguise Marcht on , commanded by the wise And skilful Pallas : never troop More like to make the Gyants stoop . Iove having spied this recruit , Quoth he , Let 's follow in pursuit ; And crying , All 's our own , my boys ; Lay down ( continu'd he ) these toys ▪ Take each of you a well-made sword , 'T will serve the turn , I 'll pass my word . With that , Iove on his Eagle strides ; Swift as the Bird could move , he rides After the Rebels , at which time Each God does to the window climb , Ambitious in their heat of love , Which should be neerest unto Iove . Thus they press on , the Gyants run ; The Gods would fight , the Gyants shun ; The Gods pursue , the Gyants flie ; The Gods prevail , and Gyants die . But as some wiser are then some , Iove order gave , that sound of Drum Should rally forces ; thinking fit , That being weary'd , they should sit And breathe a while . At which God Mars Incensed , cry'd , If us'd to Wars , Or knew of Victory the gain , You 'd surely blush when you complain : Not to pursue them and their fate , May make our selves unfortunate : Let 's on ; for having won the field , Not to persist , is half to yield : And how can we our prize maintain , Unless we do augment our gain ? Ods nigs , see how the raskals sneak . Silence , quoth Iove , that I may speak : You see them there ; I 'll lay my life , Ere it be night I 'll end the strife My self : however , follow me ; Keep close , and you 'll the better see : Although the Sun is scorching hot , And I both Powder want and Shot , I will so cool the rebels courage , You shall have room enough to forrage : They boast they 'll rob us of our lives , Plunder our wealth , enjoy our wives ; Now may they come , if they think good : I feel a fire within my bloud , Which must be quencht . The Gyants now Rally afresh in Battel-row : Encelades appear'd i' th' front : Quoth angry Mars , Now fie upon 't , Delays are dangerous ; I 'll go , And fight , before they rally so . Great Mars he had no sooner done , But spy'd Encelades to run , As if he did intend to say , I am in haste to win the day . Mars does prepare to entertain This Gyant and his Bumkin-train : They meet ; but that is not so strange , As were the blows that they exchange : They hack and hew behinde , before , Till both were little else but gore . Encelades the Monster bold Was almost spent , when Mars cry'd , Hold : So both contended for the field , And either willing was to yield : At last quoth Mars , If you or I Should now in this encounter die , 'T were ill : whose valour does persever , Deservedly should live for ever . With that , both being weary grown , They stop , and cast their weapons down ; Salute each other , and retire , Not to engage , but to admire : For there were others that could fight , Gods and Gyants too of might ; Blows freely fell on either side ; Here lay a broken scull , a hide Lies there , in third place leg or arm : Deities were no more a Charm 'Gainst Gyants , then the others oddes In stature was against the Gods. But Oh the dreadful noise was made With Thunder , Powder , Flask and Blade ! Pan from the Sea had borrow'd shell , Whose sound was loud as that of bell When struck upon . Nor was Iove heard To thunder when he syng'd the beard Of Gyant Mimas , who was struck Not long before , and cursing luck , As he upon the ground did lie , It fortun'd that he cast his eye ( As it took liberty to wander ) On Pallas , son to great Evander . This Pallas did so far engage Among the Gods , that they in rage Surrounded him ; but Mimas rose , And with such courage dealt his blows , That he at once brought Pallas off , And on the Gods revenged scoff Which Iove did to him , when by thunder He parted chin and chaps asunder : At which disaster , boyling hot His bloud was waxt , and he had got In 's hand an implement of War , By some ycleped Iron Bar ; With this , God Mercury he strook , That down he fell ; and then he took The rising blow with such a force , Grim death it self was little worse . Just now the Goddess Pallas came ; ( For there were two that bore the name ) She with the weapon that is common With Goddess as it is with Woman , Exclaim'd on Gyant : he to reach The full proportion of her breech , Erected lofty foot so high , That down he fell : there let him lie . For Bacchus some had called bastard , Enflam'd beyond the rage of dastard , In did he rush , and made such pother , That Gyants fell on one another . Some that were present did divine His valour did proceed from Wine : Howe'er it was , he did excel All but those few that did as well . Silenus drunk as David's Sow , Spurring his ass on , cry'd , Now , now ; Ride over Mimas there in blood : But that did him more harm then good ; For Mimas who was laid to rest , Rose up , and seiz'd upon the beast : Then to Silenus said , I gather You should be that same Bacchus's father : With that , he smote him on the head , That down he fell ( 't was thought ) for dead . But wonders now I mean to tell ; For thus to Gyants it befel : Whilst all the Warriors were in fight , Each studious to declare his might , The silly Ass began to bray , And Gyants fairly ran away : For they not us'd unto the sound , First swore , then swiftly quit the ground : The Gods pursue with might and main , But all their haste and speed was vain ; For what with fighting , and the toyl Of thus pursuing after spoil , Weary'd , they do conclude it fit On grass or somwhat else to sit . No sooner were they seated than A Foot-man came , and thus began : By 'r leave ; I from old Saturn come , To tell you he has learn'd in Rome Some while since of a Cunning man Gyants shall still survive ; nor can The Gods prevent it , ( this you 'll finde , Or else say he 's a Prophet blinde ) Until by search somewhere on earth , You finde a Knight of humane birth , Got on a mortal , by the seed Of one that 's of immortal breed . Besides , he bade me tell you more , One Proteus said as much before ; And this same fellow knew his art So well , he 'd instantly impart A secret , whether wise or silly , Soon , or as learnedly as Lilly. As for Example , thus it was ; Base thief one morning stole from Lass A Bodkin and a Silver-Spoon : The man was took , and hang'd by noon ; But all was by his art : for he Discover'd where the thief could be . Dixi , quoth Footman : Iove with that Commanded he should don his hat , And rest himself , whilst he doth muse , Reflexions making on the news : They Bacchus and Minerva call , Old Neptune , Mercury , and all The Gods that then were nigh at hand : Quoth Iove , You are to understand — Then he began the tale again ; And leaning o'er the Asses Main , Quoth he , Let 's think what must be done . Pallas reply'd , You have a son Nam'd Hercules ; 't is fit you dub Him Knight of the Majestick Club ; And in requital , he alone Will slay the Rascals . Ev'ry one , By voice , or holding up of paws , Gave Pallas her deserv'd applause : Some cry , Defer no longer , send ; Others , Our time too fast does spend ; And we may finde , perhaps too late , The danger to procrastinate : Send Mercury . But Iove forbad ; He 'd rather send the Irish Lad That brought the news but now . With that The nimble Tory dofft his hat , Which shew'd his readiness , to Iove , Who promis'd to requite his love . The Lad rejoycing be was sent , Drank onely Usquebah , and went. No sooner was the Footman gone , ( The Gods carousing ) but anon In haste returns a careful Spie , Cries , Arms , the Gyants drawing nigh : The routed ones that ran so fast Before , met Typhon : he at last Perswaded them to face about , With promise of a total rout To all your Godships . Then quoth Iove , You talk of routing , pray for Love - Sake , tell me what 't was made them run . Silenus's ass ( Sir ) sure as Gun , ( Quoth Bacchus ) with his noise did fright Philistins fierce from heat of fight . Iove then reply'd , He merits much ; Would we had many asses such : I 'd give a pound for mine own part . If all of you did know the art ; Or if but one that might excel , Could play the Ass but half so well . Iove call'd Silenus then , cry'd , Hark , Came he from Smithfield , or Hyde-park ? Silenus answer did extend , 'T was sent as Token from a friend : But if ( great Iove ) it be your will , My Ass shall be your servant still . Iove forc'd a smile at that : for yet When laughing , he could not forget Dangers that were so neer him ; though He thus discours'd , he thought of foe . Then mad that's Gun did not suffize The Gyants pride to civilize , In dumps he sate , as if he'd got A smack too much of Cup or Pot. O' th' sudden now a fearful noise Approacht : 't was Typhon and his boys : Which when the Gods perceive , they call , Heavens have mercy on us all : And well they might ; for had you seen The rabble with their swords so keen ; Big Gyant with his hundred heads , And those how monstrously he spreads ; You surely would with me conclude , Such foes were dreadful , fierce and rude . By this time both the Armies meet , And Typhon thus began to greet The Gods : Where 's he that does command This Host ? we 'd have him understand , We hold our selves agriev'd , and now Bound to our selves by solemn Vow , Resolve , before we part , to have Or satisfaction , or a grave . In 's hand he held a stately Oak . Iove , that he might prevent a stroak , Well thinking 't was no time to think , Fills his great Thunder to the brink , Then throws it at the Gyants head ; However , Typhon is not dead , But eying Iove with scorn and smile , Coughing and sneezing for a while , ( Because some Powder , I suppose , Had flown upon his face and nose . ) Thunder when from an angry cloud In its extreams , was not so loud As Gyants Oaths : he stampt and swore , As if the Gods were to be tore With words : then lifting mighty tree , 'T is thus , base Iove , I 'll answer thee , Quoth Typhon ; and with that he flew As Furies may be thought to do . God Mars , who boldly rusht on foes , Receiv'd a fillip on the nose ; 'T was given by an angry Gyant , ( For why should I tell you a ly on 't ? ) And tumbled backwards on the ground The God of Hectors in a swound . This daunted all the other Gods : The Victors do pursue their oddes . Mars does revive and run : great Iove On Eagles back began to move : Minerva from the skirmish steals , So light was she about the heels . In one word , all the Gods did run , As if the Devil upon Dun Was at their posterns . But O curse , Then evil luck what can be worse ? Whilst Iove with expedition flies , The Bird slips from between his thighs : Down drops great Iove upon the ground ; But as it hapt , scap't hurt or wound . Typhon , whose sole delight was plunder , ( Commanding Gyants to a wonder ) Fell on the Booty and the Wine : These Prizes now ( quoth he ) are mine . Then resting after Chase and Slaughter , Drank Wine in full bowls sine water : Then with a stately step and stride , Continues quest of Iove and Bride , With all the rest o' th' wandring Gods , Frighted as children are at rods ; They shelter seek in pathless Wood : ( That shift at need was hugely good ) For being there in place obscure , A Metamorphosis in ure They put ; and ( if it be no flam ) Iove chang'd himself into a Ram ; Dame Iuno lookt like any Cow , And deigned to the grass to bow ; Neptune assum'd the shape of Hound ; Momus a Jack-a-napes was found ; Apollo wisely acts the Rook ; Bacchus a he-Goat ; Vulcan crook - Ed back and hips , a silly Calf ; Pan was a Rat more big by half Then little Dog ; and Venus Dame , A lovely milk-white Goat became : The warlike Mars chose for his share , To be transform'd into a Hare : His Valour sped so ill , 't was meet To learn the swiftness of the Feet : Luna would not the Cat disdain , Nor Mercury the form of Crane . Thus Nature , that the Gods might scape , Contented was to play the Ape . Mean while the Gyants chafe and scout , As Victors do when after Rout They seek for prey : but Gyants finde , Their sorrow is not far behinde ; For meeting with the Gods , they prove , No foe more dreadful is then Iove . So true is that which Stories tell ; Those that live ill , shall not die well . CANTO IV. The ARGUMENT . The Gods bethink it base to range In Woods , and now resolve to change Their borrow'd shapes : at Nylus-banks God Mercury performs his pranks : They cloath themselves , to Memphis go ; The Priests and People kindness shew : Great Hercules they send for , who Attends them with no more ado . IT was just now 'tween Dog and Bitch , Or Hawk & Buzzard , ( chuse you which ) The Gods adventur'd out of Wood : For they behalves had understood Of Gyants course ; and each had thought There was no danger to be caught : For from the biggest to the least , Each God was turn'd into a beast Or bird ; their hazard nothing so , That they should stand in fear of foe . Gyants , although they oft pass by , Yet when a Ram or Goat they spie ; In this same place an Hound , an Ape , A Cow , or beast of different shape ; In other place a Rat , of nature ( No matter which ) for land or water ; They little dream'd that there should lie In any beast a Deity . For who is he , that as he pass , Would once imagine Cow at grass Should be a God ? The Gyants run With eagerness as they begun ; Beset and search the wood , then finde There 's nothing like a God ; so blinde Was Gyants apprehension . Then The Gods that were secure from men Or Gyants , do consult a while In Council by the river Nyle ; When in conclusion they agree To be as Gods were wont to be , Each to shake off his present shape : For since they clearly made escape , Why should great Iove in danger go Of injuring his feet or toe ? For what with gravel , slime , and mud , ( Which border'd on the neighbour floud ) Like sheep they forced are to slide , Or else with bare-foot to abide On stones : for Rams do never use To clad their feet with Boots or Shooes ; Besides , so thick was Iove of Wooll , He fum'd and sweat like any Bull Whom angry dogs do put in fear . And Madam Iuno , as I hear , A thorn had got within her toe , That did produce her mi●kle wo : But 't was not Iove's nor Iuno's grief Alone ; but being they were chief O' th' company , I need not strain To shew how all the Gods complain . Iove thinking now 't was time to speak , Made an Oration in the Greek To th' other Gods ; and I thought good ( Because it should be understood ) To English it ; and thus it follows : My friends , we 've now escap'd the gallows ( Thank Heaven for 't ) but what will say Succeeding ages , that we stray In these uncomely shapes ? By this , The Gods will all become a hiss Or by-word : Gyants , if they know My Iuno takes the form of Cow , They 'll make her subject of their laughter To ages that shall be hereafter : Or when a God is seen , they 'll say , Beware of horns , or Mutton , Ba. 'T is better never to be born , Then so to live the mock and scorn Of ev'ry mortal . Iove ( whose eyes Were wet before ) now plainly cries ; And I my self could almost borrow From other subjects of my sorrow A tear or two . But Natures course By this time spent , Iove did with force Proceed ; and what he said were words To this effect : Though sticks and swords Are wanting , yet it would be worse , Should we be subject to the force Of Gyants : heaven thus contrives , They sha'n't be masters of our lives : We are not far from Memphis-town , Let 's enter ere the Sun goes down ; But first let Mercury make haste To change his shape , now danger 's past : 'T were well if he a Cloak could steal , ( For being bare from head to heel ) 'T will be uncomely if he go Stark naked from the top to toe . When Mercury is clothed thus , I 'd have him get some cloathes for us . The God most forward to reveal The stock he had of love and zeal For Iove , said nothing but Amen ; Great Iove , it shall be done . And then No sooner said , but straight he flies In shape of Crane , till he espies Some Youngsters washing in a pool : The Crane ( so like a harmless fool ) Lights neer the cloathes , as almost tyr'd : The youths beheld , and all admir'd : A Crane ! says one ; let 's make a match Immediately the Crane to catch : Done , says another . Thus they talk : The Crane mean time does bend his walk To th' cloathes , and by and by amain Cast off his borrow'd shape of Crane . So having done , he puts on dress . All were amazed , you may guess , Who saw this sudden transformation , More strange then ever was in nation . Mercury like a pretty lad , With all their cloathes begins to gad . The youths belike had learnt some Oaths ; So swore the devil had their cloaths : But they all naked , knew not how To follow him : nor did they know What to imagine : but the God Made so much haste , that straight he trod To Usurer , and pawn'd a Pearl Of Iuno's , or some other girl : The owner of it was some Lass ; However , we may let that pass : The Pearl it was of value such , That he of Coyn procur'd as much As bought up habits of the best , For Iove , for Iuno , and the rest ; Then bought a lusty Mule to bear Unto the Gods his purchas'd ware : It was not long until he came , Redeeming all the Gods from shame , Each of them with an earnest motion , Measures habit with proportion . Mercury thus performing part ; When done , quoth he , I know a tart - Wench lives hard by at signe of trumpet , Perhaps you 'll take her for a strumpet ; But be she what she will , 't is meet We visit her to drink and eat . This course they all applaud as best ; And Mercury , that was her guest Before , was order'd to repair Unto her , to bespeak the fare . Mercury flew , until he lit Just at the door , and then 't was fit He close his wings , and walk : beside , He walkt not half a dozen stride Until he enters . Welcome , Sir , The Tapster cries . Then answers Mer - Cury , I would converse with Dame. Quoth fellow , May I crave your name ? Then straight the Goodwife does appear : Quoth she , I pray , good Sir , draw neer ; You 're welcome . She was frying Tripe . The God then call'd for Pot and Pipe : Down do they sit : but Oh the bliss Was then in ev'ry glance and kiss , Whenas they talkt ! for you may think , Their hearts were filled to the brink With joy : for Mercury was mannish ; Soon he dispatcht his Pipe of Spanish ; Then having in a Note set down What diet could be had in Town , The Maid was call'd , and Hostess sent her To buy o' th' best : and now does enter The rest o' th' Gods , a worthy troop ; By turns , they ev'ry one do stoop To kiss the Hostess : Iove began ; Then Neptune , Bacchus , Mars and Pan , And so the rest . When Iuno saw her , In haste and anger calls the Drawer To bring some Wine : for she did grutch The goodwife should be buss'd so much , And she her self had none . Quoth Pan , Just now I to the Garden ran , Where there are most delightful bow'rs , And like for all the world to ours . Oh me ! quoth Iuno , let 's go there ; I love to have the smell of air . No sooner were they out , but all The town came flocking , great and small , To see the Troop : for they had heard An Army came , and were afeard . One cries , Alas , we shall be undon : Another says , They 're blades of London ; For that 's a wilderness , we know , Where many such tall Cedars grow . Thus while they chat , a world appear : In time , the Cat does lick her ear . One bauls , What Gallants trow are these ? Another answers , Hold your peace ; They 're Kings that usually are wont In numbers brave ( as these ) to hunt . Another whispers , How the Inne Smells sweet as 't were of Benjamin ▪ The next more wisely gives a ghess , They 're Players . All of them express Their thoughts : but som were apt to think Players were not so full of Chink : But others thwart them , saying then , They 're now the chiefest Gentlemen : Are they not clad in Plush and Sattin ? And don't they sometimes visit Mattin ? Do they not strut with Muff and Sword ; Keep company with Knight and Lord ? Let me not now forget to tell How Iove had sent where once did dwell The great Alcides : he that went , Was absent till eight days were spent . About that time , Iove casting eye From window , 't was his chance to spie Alcides : straight down stayrs he runs , And clapping fist into his son's , How dost , quoth he , my bonny Lad ? What , hast thou quite forgot thy Dad ? 'T is true , as ancient story goes , That childe is wise , nown father knows . Quoth Hercules , Oh , now I see You are the same ; I , you are he . With that , the complements renew , And each does render devil due . Whilst they embrace , the other Gods Were almost 'mongst themselves at oddes Who first salutes Alcmena's son . By this , Iove's complements were done : With that , the Gods came all a-row To honour great Amphytrio ▪ With tears in eyes they wept for joy , Meerly for sight of Iove's great boy . The strangers though the most were mutes When they observed these salutes , Flockt shrewdly : but when Iove they spi'd , ( Who now had re-assum'd his pride ) They great observance shew'd ; for he ( All saw ) was chiefest in degree . But one amongst the rest , more bold Then his companions , cry'd out , Hold ; Observ'd you him did just now nod ? ( The devil take me ) he 's a God : I know it by his garb and state , By his deportment , and his gate ; His looks declare it : nay , ( what 's more ) I have been told as much before . This News , as well as other things As strange , immediately took wings ; So that in little space it came To their High-priest , a man of fame ; Who hearing this , the truth to know , Resolves with company to go In person ; and when there , to do His duty , if report held true That they were Gods : with him he brings For presents , fine Cornelian Rings Some thirty thousands ; nineteen score Of Crocodiles new come to shore : Ichneumones , what beast is that ? Some do suppose it Pharaoh's Rat ; Of them threescore : Hippopotames , Or a Sea-horse , the more known name is , As tame as Pigeons ; these a score : Of Eel-skin-gloves some ten times more . The high-priest come , the presents given , The crowd o' th' people further driven , Complements past on either part ; Iove seem'd content , and glad at heart : The Priest makes offer of protection Within his Land , with great affection : Iove likewise does return him thanks , With promise to protect his banks From what doth usually harm ; He 'd give them a preventing Charm Against the strength of Creatures stature , Or venom of depraved nature : All this on free-cost . Mercury , That present was , could even cry , That Iove should not consider how Through earth and air he us'd to plow To serve the Gods both to and fro : Yet Iove as much and more did know ; And for requital , bids him dance Afresh perhaps as far as France . Now Iove and Priest by this time sate On breech , their stories to relate : For being in an unknown clime , Not knowing how to spend their time , They will that each a passage tell Of what had formerly befel . When now it came to jocund Priest , ( Most ready to oblige the rest ; For he of all was much the lesser ) He story told of predecessor : Silence he crav'd , and did prevail : Then thus began THE PARSONS TALE . A crafty man in Country-town , Had wife was of a comely brown , And lov'd by neighbour-Parson , who At vacant hours came there to woo . The husband knowing Parson Fulpit ( Ycleped so ) in fleshly Pulpit Was wont to preach , casts how to catch Them both ; and thus contrives his watch . Sweetheart , quoth he , my business says I must go travel seven days . Nay , quoth the wife , if so you do , Why may not I go travel too ? Then , as was wont , came in the Parson ; Spies Chair and Cushion , sets his arse-on . Quoth wife to Priest , My husband , Sir , Is taking journey . I infer , Then cry'd the Parson , he hath cause . The husband after making pause , ( Which shew'd he was in minde perplext , That Priest should chuse his wife for text ) He doth befit himself with speed ; Gives kiss to wife , and mounts his steed . The Parson then , and wife , by joynt Consent , begin to handle point ; Thought of a Chamber , went into 't , As best befitting close dispute : What were the arguments befel , I make no doubt but you can tell . But one thing should not be forgotten , The Parsons principles were rotten ; A Sceptick , or as Martial saith , A wanderer with waving faith ; Fickle , when he swore he loved Beyond or Aretine or Ovid. But th' honest man , whose mind did burn , As he intended , made return ; Sees wife and Parson both withdrawn ; Peeps , and spies Priest in sleeves of Lawn , As he suppos'd , but 't was his Shirt ; Nor had he Girdle to begirt : But as in Country-town no watch Is us'd , so door had onely latch , Which having lifted up , he enters , And first upon his wife adventers : So having chid , and scorn'd , & mockt her , Leaves her , and thus accosteth Doctor : Come now , Sir Leacher , you that stand With Shirt on back , and Cloaths in hand , Deliver habit , or at once This Penknife sharp shall off with stones . The Parson , who was sore affright , As doubting whether man or spright , Admir'd to see the husband come , Who just before was gone from home . But whether 't was through fear or cold , It matters not , his hands unfold , And down apparel falls . The man That stood with knife in hand , began To lay them by : which having done , Cries , Parson , sure as mothers son , Thus naked without Cloathes or Crutch , You shall immediately to Church , And there do Penance thus in white . Quoth Parson ( vowing , By this light ) I 'd rather die : good neighbour chuse Some other Penance ; I 'll refuse Nothing that you 'll impose , provided You will not see your friend derided . On that the husband makes behest To wife , to reach him key of Chest : With it doth straightway Chest unlock , And makes the Parson put in Cock ; And having us'd an art to fasten Priest Cock-sure , he away doth hasten To Penknife which he hard by laid , That made the Parson sore afraid : He puts the knife in Parsons hand , And caus'd his wife by his command To fire the Chest : for you must know , On purpose it was fill'd with tow . The Chest on fire , both man and wife Leave Parson there with Cock and Knife ; Run out of doors , and make a noise By crying Fire . That dreadful voice Rais'd all the Parish , and as Torch , Might guide them unto what did scorch The Parson : in they ran , but cry'd , Neighbours beware , we shall be fry'd ; Or else if fire make house to fall , 'T will surely be the death of all . The Parson , who had heard them coming , 'Twixt shame & synging left his humming ; Takes knife , and with a valiant slash Brings body off , but leaves poor Swash Amidst the angry flames to fry : Judge , did not Swash a Martyr die ? He hanged was , and quarter'd too ; And he was burnt : but I should do Much wrong to Parson and to Cocks , Should I maintain a Paradox . Just now a messenger brings word , Typhon did mean with fire and sword , With clubs , with staves , & other weapon , Visit the Gods , and warfare keep-on ; Sends thus to Iove , In spight of 's nose , In heav'n he 'd suddenly ●epose : To that same end , it was his will , Mountain should bear the weight of hill , Great Oss on Pelion should stand , That heaven might be toucht with hand . These News it seems were very true ; For Typhon and his Gyant-crew Had ransackt wood throughout and round ( But th' devil a God was to be found ) And were come back to mighty hill , To Crane it up ( by strength and skill ) On th' other ; and about threescore Of hills , but less then those before , Were got already on a heap . Then Iove , who fetcht a sigh most deep , Reply'd , We then will take our lot , But beat the Iron while it 's hot : Though they are Gyants great and tall , Their clambring may produce a fall ; And the event may make it plain , They 're hastie onely to be slain : My son , we 'll stop their course before Upon those hills they set up more : For if we all ( ere they surmise ) Fall on , we cannot miss the Prize . Hercules fingers itch to be In action . Th' other Gods , who see His courage , 'gin to banish fear ; Take heart a-grace , and prick up ear . Quoth Hercules , My Club's a tongue , That can both speak , and right a wrong : Moreover , quoth the lofty Yonker , I scorn to go to fight , but conquer . Then up they get on legs again , ' Boldly to follow their Chieftain , Who leads them on through thick & thin Sometimes up almost to the chin . I will not be so tedious as To give relation how it was With all the Gods , or any one ; Or whether they had horse , or none , Or rode on Elephants or Camels ; Whether they crost brooks , ponds or chanels : We will suppose them now to be Arriv'd beneath a spreading tree , Resting themselves for half an hour , Not far from Gyant Typhon's Tow'r : That time expir'd , Iove rouzes up , Calls for some Wine , and drinks a Cup ; Chuses a lustie Bolt of Thunder ( Did you but see it , you would wonder ) Out of a Cart-load they had brought From Memphis , Bolts but newly wrought By Vulcan's own hand , therefore good . Hercules , who by 's Daddy stood , Takes up his weapon , and by night They march , till they approached right Against the place where Typhon lay Asleep . Without the least delay , Iupiter primes his Bolt so great ; From him the standers by retreat For fear of harm , and Iove himself Was wary to avoid that shelf By which so many had been split ▪ For ( in his anger ) he had wit. No God , though young , or old in years , Should Thunder flie about his ears , But 〈…〉 e fear'd , and days of yore , 〈…〉 nder never saw before . 〈…〉 Iove holds it on the right ; Then suddenly , as full of fright , He changes it unto the left : Then spying that the ground was cleft On which he stood , he fastens it W●●hin the same : all being fit , He puts his Match upon a Spire , 〈…〉 rcht out , presenting fire ; Looks t'other way , & cries , Does 't touch ? Then puffs and sweats , his fears were such . But Hercules , who stood at distance With Club and Sword in hand , assistance Gives to his Daddy , in these words : Let 's leave these guns , & use our swords . Go to , you fool , quoth Iove , and tell Me , when I am aside , or well . With that , he stretches out once more His arm and Lintstock as before : How am I now , quoth Iove ? Too low , Quoth Hercules ; too high : so , so . Pish , quoth the touchhole ; bounce , the gun : On th' earth both father and the son Lie sprawling : Iove holds up his head At last : How dost , my boy ? art dead ? Quoth he ; may we rise safely yet ? Amphytrio answers , I have fit Of Shiv'ring on me , as an Ague . Then fight , quoth Iove , & 't will not plague you . The noise soon reached Typhon's lugs , Who lay on bed with thousand Rugs , All large , and warm as so much Buff , Yet all was scarce ( or but ) enough ; So big was he : from bed he starts ; Ods bobs , quoth he , who is 't that farts So loud , and thus disturbs my rest ? I 'll pull his heart from out his brest , Whoe'er it be . Then quoth his brothers , 'T was none of us , Sir , but some others : It sounded like the Thunder-crack Of Iove ; he may be at our back . Keep a strict guard to night , quoth Typhon , And when 't is day , d'on each his knife-on ; Be sure you want nor swords nor trees , When once you 'gin to kill the fleas : Right early in the morn we 'll rise ▪ To execute our enterprise : We searcht ( but all in vain ) on ground , No God nor Goddess could be found : From heaven now they issue out , Onely that we may rise and rout : The glory of their mighty feat , Is to come on , and to retreat : Encelades shall scale their fort , Whilst others of you finde them sport With Oaks , and quarters great of Rocks ; Be sure you follow close your knocks . Some slept till morn , as void of fear ; Others carouse in wine and chear , Drink healths unto the Gods confusion , None apprehending their delusion . Mean while , the Gods do understand Exactly , how from Gyants hand Their distance stood , expecting hour When to engage . Mars makes a sowre Face , and is mad to fight the foe ; So is the great Amphytrio . Great Iove at this doth fret and fume , When Mars so boldly durst presume : Then calling Hercules from chatter , With him he does debate the matter ; Concludes they should a Council call : And Iove thereunto summons all . CANTO V. The ARGUMENT . Jove and his son Alcides go By joynt consent in quest of foe . Gyants scale heaven to a wonder ; From thence are headlong thrown by thunder . A fight determines , where 's the odds On Gyants side , or on the Gods. Gyants are slain , and Typhon flies : Great Jove pursues , and Typhon dies . NOw come I to rehearse ( in stile As blithe as is within a mile Of Oak ) the fierce and fearful blows Which past between the Gods and foes . Iove ●ed the Gods , as 't was his manner : The Gyants under Typhon's Banner Engage : and now was Gyants war Worse then the Counter-scuffle far . When now Encelades design'd Heav'n should be scal'd , 't was in the mind Of Iove , and Hercules disguis'd , ( Who by the Gods were so advis'd ) That onely they should lurk and spie How Gyants Camp and they do lie : Or having left their strong Ale tapping , They thought perhaps to catch them napping . But Oh the fire and noise so great ! Which when the Gods see , they retreat , With this resolve , the following day To fall upon them sans delay . By this time , day began to peep , And Madam Moon was gone to sleep , When Iove and great Amphytrio Saw Gyants marching to and fro , Scaling the skies without a Ladder , It made great Iove be much the gladder : For seeing Gyants so mistake , His Thunderbolt he 'gins to make Ready ; and setting fire unto 't , Plows hills and mountains up by root ; Down do they tumble flat as Pancakes : To clear his face , he Iuno's Fan-takes , To brush the dust : he brought it out On purpose : divers of the rout Within the rubbish found their doom . By this time , other Gods make room , As from their lurking holes they run ; Then shout as if they 'd ne'r have done . Sometimes they hollow , then they bawl , A Iove , a Iove ; the Gyants fall . Those that the dust did spare to smother , Would give one eye to save the other . Did you ne'er see on Lord Mayors day The Green-men , how they clear the way With firy Clubs ; or in a Ring , At Cudgel-sport , or Wrastelling , A sturdy Butcher , Stick in hand , On back Red Wastcoat , ne'er a Band , Hat before eyes , and Bandying Shins , Smiting by th' way Spectators Chins , Till he has made a Circle , great Enough for Blades to do the feat : Or at Bear-garden , how Black Will ( The Bull , I mean ) doth shew his skill In tossing Butchers , when got loose , With as much ease as Fox doth Goose ? Just so doth Thunder-thumping Iove Sometimes beneath , sometimes above , On right , on left , behinde , before , Till compassed by Wounds and Gore , And at his feet lay Gyants dead Some score or two , which he had sped . Alcides then with Club or Bill Does follow him to slash and kill : Alcyoneus by his arms Soon was dispatched out of harms Way , by a great blow with his Club : So fell that great and mighty Lub - Ber ; he the first Alcides slew In this hot Combat . Now with Yew And Ivie crown'd , comes Bacchus on , Pretty well fluster'd , half way gon ; Who gain'd great honour in the fray , O'er-running all that stood in way As torrents do ; his train as free - Ly drunk , or somewhat more then he . One of them runs a Gyant through , Another beats one black and blue . Apollo then does shoot so right With shaft that 's sharp as well as bright , Hits Ephialtes in the eye ; And Hercules that then stood by , Pokes out his other : farewel he . Mercury does no sooner see But kills : Porphyrion made it good , Surrendring up his life and blood . Mimas gives Mars a maul o' th' pate ; But Mars , as with a mortal hate , Runs to him , grasps him ; so they tug : But Mars , who knew the Cornish Hug Full well , threw Gyant on his back , So that his bones did seem to crack . Dame Atropos in rage pursues Pallenus , who in vain did use Skill to avoid her ; for in sum , She follow'd till she wounded bum . Encelades now turning Chance , ●●pes to the Gods another Dance : Quoth he , When Honour is in doubt , Bravely to fight , is to get out . This Devil , mad that he had mist His enterprise , gave with his fist A blow upon Silenus's Hide , That broke the thing hung by his side ; It was a fair and ample Flask ( Which held as much as does a Cask ) Fill'd with the best Canary-wine Extracted ever was from Vine : At which he more amazed stood , Then if it had been so much blood ; The which had given Gyant time To have dispatcht him ; but sublime Alcides to his rescue came . The Gyant , when he saw the same , Was mad : for blows went up and down , From side to feet , from thence to crown . The Goddesses stand by and curse , To see how things went worse and worse : For bloudy Typhon hews and hacks O'er legs and shoulders , arms and backs , Among the Gods : he held in hand A tall Pine , which he did command With ease : it was the same with which He formerly the Gods did switch . But AEsculapius steps in , And claps a Salve upon the shin O'th'wounded Gods , that they were sound As soon as Typhon gave the wound : And none was able to reveal Their swiftness or to hurt or heal . Iupiter mad to be withstood By Gyant , in his heat of blood Sets a great Thunderbolt on fire , And throws the same in wrath and ire At Gyant head , who with a flap From tree in hand did make it snap Like glass in shivers . Iove at that Stept back to gather up his hat ; Which gave the Gyant time to seise Him by the collar : then with ease He 'gan to cuss him at his will ; I think h 'had given him his fill , Had not God Mercury ran by I' th' shape of Hebe . Typhon's eye No sooner saw the Girl , but she Was heard to laugh aloud , Tee-hee . At length , when Typhon spi'd the Cheat , He throws great Iove beneath his feet ; But he himself had not the strength To stand when Iove was laid at length . Iupiter first got up again : With Thunder , and with might and main , He makes attempt at Gyants head , And therein fortunately sped ; For ere the Gyant was aware , He found he had a soft place there . I' th' nick of this came great Alcides , With the brave Club he bears on highdays , And lays upon the Gyants head : ( The blow had surely struck me dead ) The Gyant backward reels , and falls ; No Lion could out-roar his bawls : The three Gods fall upon his bones ; Cries Mercury , Cut off his stones . But Madam Iris came to tell Great Iove what newly had befel His party ; that they were almost Just ready to abandon Post. With that , the three Gods leave their foe , But bruis'd and maim'd from head to toe : Fast did they run as legs could carry ; For then it was no time to tarry . But coming to the Gods recruit , The Gyants do forsake pursuit : The Gods their courage re-assume : Iupiter swore he like a Broom Would sweep the Rogues to ashes : Mars Held one whilst Venus prickt his a — With Silver Bodkin : you must know , Mars took a pride in doing so : And something too must be obscene , Or this had no mock-Poem been . At last , with pat upon the crown , He fairly fillipt Gyant down . Hercules killeth Euritus ; Pan , Athos ; and Hypolitus By Mercury on earth did lie : It griev'd him dev'lishly to die , Not being us'd to 't heretofore : Quoth he , I now shall say no more But this , 'T is sorrow makes men wise ; The Sun must set as well as rise . Then Mimas kill'd Silenus's Ass , For which Mars made him such a pass , That you might see his body through ; Mars crying , Friend , now there 's for you . Then Cupid with his little sword Slew Cynus next ; and on my word , Diana smote poor Thoon , that She laid him on his back so flat , As she suppos'd he had been dead ; But some report he rose and fled . The Goddess Pallas then fell on , And she Pallenus slew anon . Enceladus was slain the next ; ( For so we finde it in the text ) And Neptune with his Trident fierce The stout Pollibotes did pierce . At last the Gods to Typhon come , And he they found was biting thumb : When he beheld the Gods , with rage In combat fresh he doth engage ; With legs he spurns against the Gods , Kicks on the Belly and the Cods , On Shins , and sometimes on their Bum He beats as fast as Stick on Drum. Briareus with his hundred hands , In each of them a Rock commands : These Rocks at Iove he casts at once , With hope thereby to crush his bones . But soon this fear was at an end ; Nor he nor Typhon could defend Themselves a minute longer . Iove And Hercules with fury move : Iove seizeth Typhon in his arms , ( For now his valour lost its Charms ) And having drawn a Pocket-gun With Powder charg'd , he asked son If he should shoot . The son reply'd , They 'd bury him before he dy'd : But whether they did so or no , It matters not , nor do I know . But Typhon answer'd , Death or Fate Can't strike too soon , or force too late : For he was fitted ere they came ; Death brought no terrour but its name : Since life attempts with wings to flie , The Gods should see , he durst to die . Thus cunningly he holds dispute , Whilst Iove attendeth him as mute : Anon ( grown desperate ) by strength From Iove he struggles ; and at length , When gotten loose , with might and main He nimbly trips o'er hill and plain Till got to Italy ; 't is sed , From thence to Sicily he fled ; And there his final overthrow Surpris'd him : Iove from head to toe With AEtna hid him . Stories tell , This AEtna is the mouth of hell . Briareus tasted of the fate His brother did . And thus the State Of Gyants was dethron'd : for why ? Who spurns against a Deity , Can less expect ? Let Gods be still Unjust , no force can quell their will. But Typhon , some are bold to say , Has ever since that fatal day Spit through the Rocks both fire & smoke Enough ten thousand men to choke . However , Vice you see will finde Its pleasures have a sting behinde : And men must know , there 's always Rods In piss , for those blaspheme the Gods. FINIS .