A54757	----	Augustus Britannicus a poem upon the conclusion of the peace of Europe, at Rijswick in Holland, upon the 20th of September, 1697 / by J. Phillips. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1697 Approx. 25 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54757 Wing P2079 ESTC R1671 11876302 ocm 11876302 50263 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54757) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50263) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 505:6) Augustus Britannicus a poem upon the conclusion of the peace of Europe, at Rijswick in Holland, upon the 20th of September, 1697 / by J. Phillips. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 12 p. Printed, and sold by E. Whitlock, London : 1697. Reproduction of original in British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Treaty of Ryswick (1697) 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Augustus Britannicus : A POEM UPON THE CONCLUSION OF THE Peace of Europe . At Rijswick in Holland , upon the 20th . of September , 1697. Arma Virumque cano — — et magnos de Pace Triumphos . By Mr. I. PHILLIPS . LONDON , Printed ; and Sold by E. Whitlock near Stationers-Hall , 1697. Augustus Britannicus : A POEM upon the Conclusion of the PEACE of Europe , &c. LONG had the Rage of War , with Sword and Fire , Laid wast the fertile Gardens of the Rhine ; And the same Flames , to Belgium no less dire , Not all those spacious Regions could confine . Too narrow Limits for th' insatiate Range Of proud Ambition , thirsting after Blood ; Eager of Rule , and still pursuing Change Of Slaughter , hungry Warfare's lawless Food . At the same time the Conflagration flew To th' utmost Borders of Imperial Sway ; And wide Danubius Streams now wider grew , By Battles swell'd into a Crimson Sea. With Most Mahometan , Most Christian joyns , And Friendship with Heaven's Foe is dearly bought ▪ If Heav'n , they cry'd , desert our bold Designs , Let Hell be mov'd , and Succour thence be sought . While thus the German Arms divided toil , Th' Invader fumes to see himself oppos'd ; The Lyons Strength assumes the Fox's Guile , And a swift Truce the Wounds of Europe close . But while secure the weary'd Princes lay Enfolded in the tender Arms of Peace , ( Pity their Fate , whom broken Oaths betray , And study'd Treasons by Surprise oppress ) They whom no Ties of Sacred Truth could hold , With rapid Force invade their peaceful Slumbers . Undreamt , unthought of , the swift Deluge rowl'd , O'respreading Regions with resistless Numbers . Quite through Batavia , like a lambent Wind , The speedy Hurricanes swept all before 'em ; Art in defence with Nature vainly joyn'd ; No Mounds could stop the Torrents that o'repower ' em . Batavia thus her daily Losses mourn'd ; Dispeopl'd by Despair , by Fear unmann'd ; You might have deem'd old Noah's Flood reurn'd , To see the Sea let in to save the Land. Heav'n oft permits such Chastisements as these ; The Cause Heav'n only knows , while we surmise : But when atton'd , the Showers of Vengeance cease , And prone to save , Heav'n th' Instrument supplies . From some hid Cause like this , the Change began ; Coelestial Pity on Batavia fell ; And the same Hand that scourg'd , points out the Man , Who only could their Mischiefs back repel . Then for Relief to Great NASSAV they bow'd , Whom Faction but a while before had scorn'd ; NASSAV , to whose Fam'd Ancestors they ow'd The Liberty their Commonwealth adorn'd . He took the Reins , and drove the Chariot steady , That with new Beams their drooping lives rechear'd ; Daring in Battle , and in Counsel ready , And by his Foes no less belov'd then fear'd . Prudence in Youth , with youthful Valour joyn'd , Stop'd the Career of Uncompassionate Spoil ; Their easie Conquests they as fast resign'd , Like Innundations , when they back recoil . Fame spread him Wondrous , e'er he had begun , And talk'd of things that he was born to doe , Which she proclaim'd as if already done , And big with Prophesie , her Trumpet blew . When first these Tydings reach'd Versailles Court , They soon foresaw the Face of War would change ; They now must drudge , who lately made a Sport Of yielding Danger , and unarm'd Revenge . NASSAV appears , to be as soon renown'd For early Contests in the Race of War ; Europe has now her Guarding Angel found , While He becomes her Blessing , She his Care. The wary Luxemburg was pos'd to shun The first Attack of his Couragious Heat ; Mons saw the Fox unearth'd , and tamely run To seek new Covert from entire Defeat . The greater Genius of the Great NASSAV Inspir'd his Warlike Bands where-e'er they fought ; His Conduct like the Hebrews Cloud they saw , And hasten'd to the Dangers which he fought . Just Heav'n ! how does thy mighty Power deride The Vain Results of Human Providence ! Vast were the Foes Designs , and Heav'n defy'd , Became the Scorn of daring Insolence . But deep Contrivance , what it least design'd , Did but Materials for his Trophies heap ; Versailles did but sow , by Fate made kind , The Harvest Britain's Hero was to reap . Long had the British Empire sadly born Four Ponderous Yoaks , unprosp'rous and unbless'd ; Her Martial Glory lost , and made the Scorn Of that Proud Realm which once her Arms possess'd . O'erwhelming was the last Tempestuous Rage , Upon her Liberties , Religion , Laws ; What Refuge then , but humbly to engage The Faith's Defender to defend her Cause ! 'T is only for an Iliad to make known In lofty Strains , the Wonders that he wrought , Lyons to Hares transform'd , th' Encounter shun , And from his dreaded Name for shelter sought . The Vaunting Host , that late in smoaky fight , On Hounslow-Plain took Towns , and Battles won , By unseen Danger quell'd , became a Sight For Mirth , to see an Army in a Swoon . The Chieftain's Fear had chill'd the Martial Mass ; In vain the Drumm and Trumpet rend the Sky ; While pale Affright appear'd in Iames's Face ; So sweet was Life to him who fear'd to die . It may be deem'd that Guilt of Evil's done , Beheld preceding NASSAV's warlike Train , Heav'n's Brandish'd Sword , that like the Saber shone , That guarded Eden from less Criminal Man. It was the least that Gratitude could do , To Crown the Author of the Bliss they crav'd ; For nothing but a Crown became his Brow ; Since none more fit to rule what he had sav'd . The Crown was Gold , but yet with Thorns beset , A Crown of painful Cares , but yet a Crown That new Occasions gave to mitigate The Toils of War with Wreaths of fresh Renown . A powerful Foe Hibernia then Possest , Lord of her Towns , and Master of the Field , Vainly misled , and slighting easie Rest , To Foreign Chains they tame Submission yield . With awkward Zeal , and false Religion mad , ( Oft times the dangerous Frenzy of the Mind ) They , their own Foes , their native Hearths betray'd , And to subdue themselves with Foreign Conquest joyn'd . Great Britain's Monarch could not brook the Hand of Rebel Fury wildly laying wast So fair a Portion of his wide Command , But streight to Vengeance makes undaunted hast . He did but Land , and march , and only saw , When pannick Terror seiz'd th' Insulting Foe : They fled , and left a Realm to take new Law From him they scorn'd to own an Hour ago . Thus Caesar , when the bold Pharnaces rang'd Bythinia's Plains with uncontroul'd surprise , But went and view'd , and Roman Loss reveng'd , Return'd a Wonder to the Gazèr's Eyes . Never did Prince say less , nor Prince do more ; Men look'd and listen'd , talk'd their Hopes and Fears ; Ne'er so much Silence , so much Noise before , Yet nothing comes to light , till all appears . This secret Conduct Heav'n's great Sov'reign taught , When first from Darkness beauteous Order shone ; The goodly Frame was to perfection brought , And Angels nothing saw till all was done . There was no need for him to seek for Fame ; Fame saw design'd Occasions court him round ; Occasions multiply'd to spread his Name Beyond what more then Fame could e'er resound . Not greater Labours did Alemena's Son In aid of Mankind boldly undergo : He pitying Greece by Monsters over-run , Those Monsters quell'd , and laid Oppression low . Such was the Task that our Alcides presst In aid of Christendom to undergo , Monsters the same , and the Design as vast , Those Monsters quell'd , to lay Oppression low . Nemaean Lyons , Erymanthian Boars , Lernaean Hydra's , Geryons Triple-headed Stymphalian Harpies , and more fell Centaurs , These were the Monsters Europe then invaded . For Man degenerate into Brute , no less Embosoms every Brutish Appetite ; Only what Brutes in various Forms possess , His Wits improve , and all in one unite . Yet could the Toil not fright our Hero's Mind , Nor all the Hazards he was sure to meet ; And still his Conduct all so well design'd , Never so slow , as when to danger fleet . He saw that more then Strength would be requir'd ; Nor did Alcides Strength alone prefer ; To Iove's Assistant , Prudence , he retir'd , And there consults the Dubious Fate of War. Many oppress'd , yet variously engag'd , And different Interests their Passions sway ; In Union only Wrong and Violence rag'd , And on the Innocent in Bloody Consort prey'd . Nothing but Concord and a warlike Chief This shatter'd Body could compactly joyn With Fear irresolute for their Relief , Not knowing whence their Safety to divine . So fast the Deluge still came rowling on As soon whole Regions fill'd with pale Dismay : They knew not what to seek , nor what to shun ; They moan'd their Harms , unwilling to obey . From this rude Chaos of unsteady Thoughts A Glorious League Great Britain's Monarch fram'd : He soon confirm'd their Minds , allay'd their Doubts And with new Life their drooping Souls inflam'd . It might be deem'd a Work the nearest wrought To that which all things into Order brought ; A League so Sacred , and so fast the Knot , Not to be loos'd , nor , like the Gordian , cut . A League like this , by Universal Greece Against th' insulting Persian Monarch made , Repell'd th' Invader back , a Sacrifice By his Ambition to his Shame betray'd . This League to Britain's Sovereign bow'd her Knees , And him the wronged Princes made their Head ; He gave their Motions Laws , and his Decrees Like the Amphyction Council's were obey'd . Resistance thus embolden'd , potent-grew ; Numbers met Numbers , while experienc'd War With artful Horrors did her Game pursue , And Banquets fresh each Day for Death prepare . The Air was forc'd , the fiery Element To mingle with the Flames of dismal Fight ; As if Officious Man would Heav'n prevent , And burn the World into its Primitive Night . For Man , who always had th' unhappy Fate Of most ingenious to destroy his Race , Scorns his pursuit should find a safe Retreat , And his industrious Arm not reach the Place . Yet all this while the Fields neglected lay , That with their timely Harvests wont to crown The longing Barns ; Affright drives all away ; Few left to sow ; few left to purchase what was sown . Those Fields now thicker sown with Human Bones , The Seed of Slaughter that gives no Return , The Neighbouring Cities wail , dispeopl'd Towns , By Nature bless'd , by cruel War forlorn . Widows and Orphans , Peasant , and the Lord , Temples Prophan'd , and Ravish'd Virgins , all Bemoan'd the Havocks of the wastful Sword ; Such was the Ravage menac'd Europe's Fall. Such were the Torrents which the League oppos'd , And Britain's Sovereign the Pious Chief , Who , Victim-like , a Sacred Life expos'd , While both Divine and Human begg'd Relief . The Contest so much the more Obstinate While pamper'd Honour , there , for Empire strove ; Here , timorous Zeal inflam'd their Martial Heat , And Fear of Chains did Fears of Death remove . All Men have Swords and Youth , and Wills prepar'd Their Darling Freedom to defend or die , Impugning haughty Violence , undeterr'd , That would impose unwilling Slavery . Nine Times the Sun his Annual Race had run , And in his tow'ring Solstice warm'd both Poles , And all the while the Bloody Game went on ; The Winner only Death , by more then common Tolls . In Steenkirk Fields a large Repast he met ; Where Fortune stopp'd the Havocks of his Sword , Who there had soon decided Europe's Fate , Had not foreseeing Doom on purpose err'd . Fame , big with wonder at the first Attacks , Bid Fortune stop , least more her VVings should tire : Fortune obey'd , and too unkindly slacks The farther Progress of the Victor's Fire . Old Luxemburgh , who had enough that Day , VVas glad to see the Lyon back retreat , And in his Bloody Trenches quiet lay , Admiring what he could not imitate . VVonders then these far greater Lansden saw , VVhere Skill and Courage , Art and Number fought ; Battles were now Examples , thence to draw New Patterns how young Captains should be taught . Old Luxemburg , for only him did Fame A Match for Britain's Hero still exalt , Dreamt only hot Pursuit ; but grew more tame , To see his daring Foe make steady Halt . Long the Dispute who Victory should controul , And Streams of Blood the Verdant Fields imbru'd , VVhile Slaughter strew'd thick Banquets for the Fowl That on the Alms of Battle wait for Food . And all the while Great Britain's Hero flew To every Part , where thickest Danger call'd ; Expos'd to Vulgar Fury , still in view ; But where dark Clouds of Smoak his Sacred Person vail'd . At length great Luxemburg grew Pale with Fear To see his shatter'd Troops in Flight pursu'd , And all his Lawrels won had wither'd here , Had fresh Inforcements not the Fight renew'd . Yet those fresh Succours did but serve to stop The Victor's Chace , and force him to recoil ; He left his Foe the Marks of vanish'd Hope , And kept the Glory of the former Foil . Honour and Gold have , both , the same hard Fate ; Both may be bought too dear , but Honour most , Since Victory purchas'd at too dear a Rate Is by the Vanquish'd won , but by the Victor lost . Namur must next advance our Hero's high Renown , Beyond what Agamemnon won by Ten Years Toil ; So long those Hero's fought to force one Town Not then subdu'd , till Fraud did Strength beguile . Namur , like Sion , deem'd Impregnable ; And if her Gates spoke Truth , ne'er to be won , As if secur'd by Doom of Oracle In the Palladium of a French Battoon . Here , had a nobler Theam for Homer been , VVhile Gods 'gainst Gods , and Hero's Hero's fought ; And if the far-fam'd Hector fought within The far more fam'd Achilles fought without . Continual Thunder rends the Sky , as when Assailing Giants against Iove rebell'd , And all the while , a more amazing Scene , Smoak Day made Night , and Flame o'er Night prevail'd . Phoebus beheld th' embolden'd Flames aspire , And how the distant Air in Sulphur burn'd ; What , is the World , he cry'd , again on Fire , And my unruly Chariot overturnd ? Th' Assaults , the Combats sung by Homer's Muse , Or what the Roman Prowess could renown , Three Years 'fore Salem's Walls disdaining Truce , Were here in Feats of dismal War out-done . At length , when the full Feast of Death was o're , And rude Attacks had mow'd down all within , The weak Remainder loud for Aid implore , And they saw Succour that was only seen . Fain would the Gallick Chief have sav'd the Town , And vow'd the Strength of France to signalize ; But all in vain ; the Strength of France look'd on , While lost Namur became the Victor's Prize . While thus the Sword rag'd on , and dubious War In bloody Triumph rode , the Gallick Heat Began to cool ; France could no longer bear Th' incessant Toil of Sisiphus's Fate . She found , that should she still prolong her Wars , She had an Overpow'ring Genius met ; For Kings have all , like Magnitudes of Stars , Or Ranks of Angels , more of Less and Great . 'T was therefore fruitless longer to contend With Britain's Genius , and her Wealth beside ; Consum'd within , her Treasures at an end , And only rich in Vaunts , and blust'ring Pride . She saw kind Nature idle , wanting Art ; Autumn forgot to bear , and Spring to bloom , While Strength and Youth must to the Camp depart , And toil Abroad to lay her wast at Home . Who but would prize so fair a Guest as Peace ? The fairest Maid that e're from Heav'n was sent ; Yet France contemn'd her , and abhorring Rest , From Europe chac'd the lovely Innocent . Only in Albion she found safe Retreat ; Her Prince caress'd the Darling of his Care , As she , to whom he vow'd his Martial Heat , And for whose sake alone he made just War. No wonder then , the slighted Maid took ill The Wrongs from Gallick Fury long sustain'd ; Mild as she is , she could not reconcile With those so long her Favours had disdain'd . But Pride , that 's always humble when brought low , By our Fam'd WILLIAM's Prowess sore distrest , Submissive grows , and France , now taught to bow , From injur'd Peace implores contemned Rest. By her despis'd , by WILLIAM's Cares engag'd , She knew that only he could Peace command ; He , that to fix her Throne fierce Wars had wag'd , Yet gave her safeguard in a Copious Land. But he who knew the Blessing he possest , To easie Offers scorn'd to prostiute The Sacred Honour of his Virgin Guest , And safely guarded the Hesperian Fruit. The wondring World , that heard the Boasts of France , VVho as her Alms the Peace of Europe vaunted , At the same time admir'd the vain Pretence Of giving others what her self she wanted . Her Numbers could not scare the Sacred League , Nor Victories only in Te Deums won , Peace would not be deluded by Intreague , Nor Laws receive from her who valu'd none . Nothing but Mediation fix'd on Honour's Faith , And Overtures by equal Reason sway'd , Could make the Generous Prince his Anger sheath , By just Redress of injur'd Peace allay'd . At length was found a Prince of high Renown , To Honour true , to Peace no less sincere ; And all applaud the Choice so kindly won To poise the Balance of this grand Affair . Had you th' Assembly seen at Rijswick met You there had seen a Council of the Gods , Such as in Iove's Apartment doom'd the Fate Of Priam's Ilium , and the Grecian Feuds . France , that Occasion by the Forelock held , Great Britain's Sov'reign hastens to attone ; It was no more then what her Fears compell'd , To court him first from whom her Fears begun . She owns Him Potent , High , and Most Serene , Forc'd to attest what well she knew before ; For only VVords could never make him mean VVho in his Crown still France's Lillies wore . Espoused Int'rest suffers harsh Divorce ; Though Friend and sworn Allye the Nuptials made ; Titus in vain for Syria's Queen implores , For still Superiour Law must be obey'd . The Potent , Most Serene , and the Most High Held awful Rule in his Majestick Hand ; And this , like some controuling Prodigy , Made France yield more , while others less demand . No longer France must bear the Name of Great , That first from War deriv'd affected Growth , But ne'er by Peace procur'd : He 's only fit To wear that Name , who keeps the Keys of both . Thus all agreed , Bless'd Peace the Concord seal'd , And lowly Grateful to the best of Kings , As once the Cherubims Gods Cov'nant vail'd Cover'd all Europe with her Silver Wings . Her Joy was such , that she would needs return And to Great WILLIAM once more pay her Vows ; Resolv'd in all her Glory to adorn The Triumphs of his Conquests o're her Foes . And then it was the Goddess thus begun ; Hail , Mighty Monarch , Wonder of the Earth ; From Hero's sprung , with all their Vertues joyn'd in One , As Heav'n had held a second Consult at your Birth . May I be long a Servant to your Throne , Bless'd in your Reign , like Saturn giving Law To Three fair Realms , and all the Sea your own , Where your fear'd Navies keep the turbulent World in Awe . Soft in your Sway , and willingly obey'd : May you be always all Mankinds desire ; To distant climes , so may your Wisdom spread , And many Sheba's your Renown admire . Counsel and Justice be your chief Supports ; Both Iove's Concomitants , and both Divine ; With them be safe from all the foul Efforts Of Treason brooding dangerous Design . Ne're may my Presence pamper idle Ease , But such as gives to Noble Arts repose ; Such as for which the toiling Ploughman prays , And Commerce sues ; whence our Abundance flows . And when at Nestor's Years you part from hence VVhere Happy Monarchs rule new Realms of Bliss , Be still our Angel , as you were our Prince , And favour in that VVorld , what you preserv'd in this . FINIS . ADVERTISEMENT . BY the same Author , In Memory of our Late Most Gracious Lady , Mary Queen of Great Britain , France , and Ireland . A Poem : Printed for Iohn Harris , at the Harrow in Little Britain . 
A54762	----	An humble offering to the sacred memory of the late most serene and potent monarch Charles II by J. Phillips ... Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1685 Approx. 15 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 10 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54762 Wing P2085 ESTC R4783 13471361 ocm 13471361 99697 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54762) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 99697) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 472:12) An humble offering to the sacred memory of the late most serene and potent monarch Charles II by J. Phillips ... Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 16 p. Printed for Randal Taylor ..., London : 1685. In verse. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Charles -- II, -- King of England, 1630-1685 -- Poetry. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion AN HUMBLE OFFERING TO THE Sacred Memory OF THE LATE MOST SERENE AND Potent Monarch CHARLES II. By J. Phillips , Gent. LONDON , Printed for Randal Taylor , near Stationers-Hall . MDCLXXXV . AN HUMBLE OFFERING TO THE Sacred Memory OF THE LATE Most Serene and Potent MONARCH CHARLES II. I. 'T IS not for Vulgar Verse To soar those Heighths , and reach those Fires , That should inflame The Breast of Him , that full of Thought aspires Above the Common Flight of Fame , To pay the Tribute due To Royal Fun'rals , and a Monarch's Herse . 'T was therefore that the Ancient World assign'd Another way to grace The State of Kings , when they in Marriage joyn'd The Sons of God with Humane Race . From thence by Holy Writ allow'd Those Consecrated Odds Above the Common Crowd . For Soveraign Kings Are our Terrestrial Gods. From Them , as from the proper Springs , Mercy and Justice , Peace and Safety flow : They Blessings on the People show'r ; With equal Pow'r To punish , or Rewards bestow . II. And such was our Immortal CHARLES the Great , Embracing now His Father's Blessed Soul ; Whose soft Controul Three Nations made The Happy Seat Of Plenty and Peace , and all our former Storms allay'd . Departed therefore to another Throne , And the Enjoyment of another Crown , Where His Dominions full as far extend In Blissful Rule , and Undisturb'd Command . For if in Heaven there be Degrees Of Pow'r and Dignities , We may have Reason to believe , 'T is the Sublime Prerogative Of Kings on Earth , to be in Heav'n the same , In those vast Regions of Ethereal Flame And spacious Empire , where Exalted Bliss , that never wants , Can ne're impair The Soveraign Dignity of Royal Saints . III. Let it not then be said , Kings die ; They onely change their Spheres ; For here , they move like Stars ; Above , They other Orbs assume , And Constellations straight become . Thus Leda's Eldest Son , To his beloved Brother Kind , His Grand Prerogative on Earth resign'd , To share with One he lov'd to that Degree , His Royal Immortality . IV. Long had Three Potent Realms bewail'd Th' Oppressive Hand Of Bold Rebellion , pamper'd with Success ; Discord and Slaughter Chaos'd all the Land , And ruinous Anarchy prevail'd , Till at length Rebels against Rebels fought , With deadly feud , And their own Monstrous Bulk of Strength subdu'd . But then it was , Three Kingdoms , bleeding , mangl'd , torn , In Ruines all forlorn , Shewing their ghastly Wounds , for swift Redress Their Exil'd Prince besought : Who straight appearing , with His Vernal Heat Reviv'd th' Autumnal Face Of Church and State , And Wild Disorder became Lovely Grace . V. This a Bright Star , that at His Birth Out-shone the Noon-day Light , Foretold the wond'ring Earth . For Heaven , that shews no Prodigies in vain , By that made known , That one day He should so out-shine the Sun , And like that Star regain The Ancient Luster of His Clouded Right . The Valiant Son of Iesse thus Distrest at first , perplex'd , and griev'd , And sparingly in Foreign Courts reliev'd , Disgrac'd at Home , to Death pursu'd , No Safety in Iudea found ; By Restoration till in Hebron Crown'd . Then courted by his Foes , The Israelites renew'd Their broken Vows . The silenc'd Virgins once more sweetly sang ; And shady Hermon with his Triumphs rang . VI. And now He sits Enthron'd ; Tho Young , the Eldest Prince in Europe Crown'd : And justly too might He in Years excell , That knew so well To dazle all the World By Great Examples of His own ; So Bright within His Northern Sphere The Glory of His Vertues shone . Vertues in Constellation met And radiant only in the British Sky , For other Kings to steer , Since Pilots too of Kingdoms They , The different Vessels of their distant Sway. To Wonder Just , and Clement to Excess ; In that more God-like Great , Who Mercy still prefers Before His Judgment-Seat . This the Young Vespasian fam'd ; This our Immortal CHARLES no , less ; Both therefore the Delight of Humane Kind . Such Matchless Patterns of Imperial Glory By Providence design'd , That reading One , we read the Other 's Story ; While Both with equall Ardour strove By Acts of Grace to win their Subjects Love. VII . Alike Indulgent , equally Sincere , His Lovely Eyes were the more Lovely Seat Of Humble and Majestick Both ; At once begetting Love and Fear . When He gave Audience to the Great , His Bright Majestick Beams He wore ; But His Humility receiv'd the Poor , With open Ear Their just Complaints to hear . Truly Religious , far beyond The vain Impertinence of Bigotism , For still the Churches Rights And Publick Worship were His Reverent Cares ; Which all along He still secur'd from Schism , And sly Attacks of Canting Hypocrites , While onely Learned Worth He call'd To fill the Patriarchal Chairs . VIII . Prudent in Counsel , and in Battel Fierce ; No Prince more studious of His Peoples Weal : Yet for their Sakes , when once provok'd to Wars , He would not fail To keep Invasion from his guarded Shore ; And rather chose To be th' Aggressor , then expect His Foes . Thus Plenty flourish'd in the Arms of Peace , And Peace with Plenty War supply'd ; For all His Wars took Peace's Side ; And onely They that fought for Honour , dy'd . The Rest , Estates and Harvests still enjoy'd ; And all were Blest that valu'd Happiness ; Such Leisure our Terrestrial God On Us bestow'd , To sleep in War secure . But neither did those Storms endure , For by His Far-fam'd Brother's Conqu'ring Sword , Those daring Foes subdu'd , For Mercy su'd , And Peace was also to the Waves restor'd . The Victor would no longer then pursue His Just Revenge : for well he knew , Earth only then resembles Heav'n , when free From Rage , and Man-devouring Cruelty . IX . His Sea-girt Islands thus at Peace , The vaster Continent was all embroyl'd , And her most Fertile Fields , without Surcease ▪ By wicked War despoil'd : What time , by their Distresses driv'n , The loud continual Cries Of the Afflicted cross'd the Seas , As at a distance Poor Mens Tears reach Heav'n , And pierc'd His Sacred Breast . Then could not our Compassionate Sov'raign brook The Havock that Ambition made , While ransackt Cities their lost Wealth condole , And Desolation revell'd in the Waste Of whole Dispeopl'd Provinces . But feeling His Magnanimous Soul With Royal Pity strook , He streight resolv'd their Succour , & His timely Aid . X. He knew His wide Command Of Sea and Land. And therefore gen'rously disdain'd In vain to hold the Ballance in His Hand : The Gallick Rage Must therefore feel His pow'rful Might , Or render to His Sacred Umpirage . But first , in Prudence , He more softly chose By holy Mediation to Compose The Bloody Strife , and gently cool The Flaming Ardour of Aspiring Rule ; Deeming , Victorious Reason would afford A Nobler Conquest then the Sword. Thus interposing , all submit , And with respectful Awe Lay their Pretensions at His Feet : And finding His Determinations Just , The Germans gladly yield , The Gallick Fury murm'ring , quits the Field ; And the distinct Confederates Applaud the Issue of His Wise Debates . XI . Heav'ns ! Could it e'er enter Humane Thought , To practise Mischief against such a Prince ? This surely must the World convince , That Earth is Wickeder then Hell , Where God's Proud Criminals united burn , And their Great Lucifer Reigns safe from Plots : But here , Rebellion Heads a Monstrous Rout More Mischievous then They. Such was that Impious Cabal , Th' Offspring of Night , Contention 's Sons , By whom we learn , there is no Rest , But where the Whole are Wicked , or All Blest . Was our sweet Soveraign's Mercy such a Crime , To move your eager Gall ? Yes — All was Criminal , Which They themselves had forfeited . Was it His Prudence , most sublime , That Charg'd their curst Infernal Guns ? Or was His Patience at the Rye way-laid ? Did His Humility your Pride incense To murder Sacred Innocence ? And in His Person shew , Could ye reach Heav'n , what you to God would do ? Must the Faith 's True Defender bleed to Death , A Sacrifice to Cooper's Wrath ? Must God's Anointed lose His Sacred Blood , To gratifie a Cursed Brood Of Joyners , Catchpoles , and a Priest of Baal ? Hear , O ye Heav'ns ! who had design'd His Fall. But thus a Young misguided Son , Even in Saturn's Golden Reign , Found an Ungodly Train Of Villanous Confederates , his Father to Dethrone . XII . Had our Great Caesar fall'n by such rude Hands , We might with Reason have bewail'd His Fate ; But Heav'n was kind , Disclos'd their Monstrous Hate , And up to Publick Shame resign'd Those Bold Contemners of His soft Commands . And all the Land with cordial Sounds Of Loyalty rejoyc'd , To see encroaching Tumult curb'd , And those that would have our sweet Peace disturb'd By Justice cropp'd , or Foreign Vagabonds . XIII . When Providence these Miracles had wrought , One now remain'd , already then design●d , ( For Providence does not work by Rote ) To call our Monarch to Eternal Bliss , And leave His Parallel behind . Nor could Heav'n miss ▪ For streight th' Illustrious IAMES , desir'd Of all with Loyal Thoughts inspir'd , Was still preserv'd , to shew How kindly Heav'n supplies , Intending well to order Things below . XIV . Kingdoms , like Men Their Paroxysms have ; Which , if they meet not timely Cure , Send 'em to fell Destruction's Grave . Thus Mournful Britain , sick by Sympathy , Languish'd as He lost Strength , Until at length In losing Him , the Kingdom fear'd to die . He all the while like Great Augustus lay , Nor grieving for His Quiet Day ; Nor anxious for His People , well aware Who would be next their Angel Tutelar . For , like the old Expiring Herb's , He foresaw The future Grandeur of His Brother's Awe . For Kings Before their last Aerial Flight , Are privileg'd to deep Foresight . Orodes thus , half Bloodless , and half Cold , Mezentius Fate foretold . From other Fears His Vertues set Him free , Prepar'd for Second Caesar's wish'd Euthanasie ; What time that Sable Cloud That soon or late eclipses all our Light , Hung o're His Brows , and took Him from His Subjects Sight . XV. Dull Sorrow in the Morn ; I' th' Afternoon a strange And sudden Turn : And then distracted by the Change , We knew not whether to Rejoyce , or Mourn . At length we mourn'd , rejoyc'd , rejoyc'd and griev'd , And thus our Joys our Sorrows still reliev'd . But Mourning surely is His Due , And we must mourn , since He mourns too That to His Brother 's High Renown Succeeds . Ill would it Loyalty beseem Not now to bear a Part with Him , Till He put off , His Mourning Weeds . Mourn for His Sake that now is gone ; 'T would be Ingrateful to forget so soon The Peace and Plenty of His Reign , And His Preserving Cares So Nobly to supply His Throne . Mourn for His Sake , who now survives Protector of our Laws and Lives ; Whose Glories now out-shine The Story of the British Line : He 'll recompense your Grief With a more generous Supply Of long Tranquillity , While You enjoy Th' Effects of His Courageous Flame , And those Great Deeds , that must enlarge His Fam● And when we see Him Crown'd with all His Beams , Let 's not Forget our Second CHARLES , But Honour and Obey our Second IAMES . FINIS . 
A54761	----	Horse-flesh for the Observator being a comment upon Gusman, ch. 4, v. 5 held forth at Sam's Coffee-House / by T.D.B.D. chaplain to the Inferiour clergies guide. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1682 Approx. 32 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54761 Wing P2084 ESTC R1623 11876288 ocm 11876288 50261 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54761) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50261) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 505:7) Horse-flesh for the Observator being a comment upon Gusman, ch. 4, v. 5 held forth at Sam's Coffee-House / by T.D.B.D. chaplain to the Inferiour clergies guide. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 13 p. Printed for R. Read, London : 1682. "'The minor clergy' ... is said to have thronged Sam's Coffee-House ... to listen to L'Estrange"--DNB. A reply to accusations made against Miles Prance in Sir Roger L'Estrange's newspaper "The Observator." Cf. BM. Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng L'Estrange, Roger, -- Sir, 1616-1704. -- Observator. Prance, Miles, fl. 1678-1689. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Horse-Flesh FOR THE OBSERVATOR . GUSMAN , Chap. 4. Ver. 5. And this is the Reason why ye shall not believe Him , for that he made Brass Screws to an Antipendium . My Beloved , YOU are not to be angry or displeased to see me read every Word of this my Discourse , it being a fine , easie , lazy way , that we have not long since brought into fashion , to save the labour of Conning . Mankind is by Nature generally addicted to Idleness : So that the greatest part of the Worlds Inhabitants , that complain of the Shortness of Life , hardly know what to do with the third part of their Time. This is that which fills the Taverns , Ale-houses , and Coffee-houses ; and this is that Feneant and Scorbutick Humour that has infected Us , that we had rather loiter away our time over Tea , or Turkish Liquor , than trouble our Studies , or exercise our Patiences , to get our Sermons without-book . We had rather feed the People with Homilies , compos'd of a few raptim Expressions , as hastily committed to Writing , than lose the sweet and charming Society of our Admired GUIDE . O That Man , my Beloved , That Man , That Man ! He is the Man ; Ho Anthropos . I 'le tell you , my Beloved , I have a Project in my Head ; and if it don't take , 't is your fault : If you will chuse me to be your Parson , I will undertake to read to you one of This Man's Observators every Sunday , and Expound upon it . Never fear it , my Beloved , he has and will write enow to serve Us as long as we live : to tell you the Truth , he squitters Observators . There you shall hear the rarest Things ! — Things , my Beloved ! — Such Things that put my Invention to a stand for Expression to blazon their indelible Character . For , Do you admire Flash and Fury , as I well know you do ? There you shall have it . Do you admire the most confounded Impertinence that was ever made publick to the World ? There you shall have it . Would you know how to Govern the State ? There you may find out the Knack . Would you understand how to Govern the Church ? There 's your Director and Guide . Moreover , my Beloved , there you shall find great Discoveries , monstrous Discoveries , Disclosures , almost past belief , of deep Secrets , profound Mysteries , the hidden Arcana of Screws and Antipendiums . Screws and Antipendiums ! Iesu Maria , you 'll say ! What are those ? Why , my Beloved , they are Screws and Antipendiums . The Egyptian Hieroglyphicks , or the Cabala of the Hebrews never contain'd such abstruse , close obscure Significations as are wrapp'd up in those Words . And thus , according to custom , I am coming , with much ado , to the Point . And a notable Point it is ; a Point not to be spurn'd , as the Boys do ; but a Point of Reason , a Point of Reason not to be question'd , a Point of Reason not to be doubted , a lasting Point , a fashionable Point ; All the Point Venize's and Point Lorrains i' th' World are nothing to this Point . Well then , but what is this Point ? Why the Point is this : And this is the Reason why ye shall not believe him . What is the Reason ? Why this is the Reason ; not a Womans Reason , Because ye shall not believe him ; but , Because he made Brass Screws to an Antipendium . Not because he exceeded Judas in Treachery , Iulian the Apostate in Irreligion , Tiberius in Dissimulation , and Belzebub himself for Lying ; but , O most Celestial Reason , never heard of before ! Because he made Brass Screws to the Antipendium . So then , my Beloved , here are two things i' my Text ; A Man that is not to be believed , and the Reason why . Ye shall not believe him ; there 's the Advice or Admonition : Then follows the Reason in Order , For that he made Brass Screws to an Antipendium . Thus ye find the Person in the Word Him : for do but decline the Word , and ye have him presently ; as for Example , Nominativo , He ; Genitivo , Of Him ; Dativo , To Him ; Accusativo , HIM . There he is , proper in the Accusative Case : For this Him is accus'd to be that He that made the Brass Screws . Shall I open the Words more particularly ? Come on then . — Ye , that is , all ye that admire The Man , Ton Anthropon ; Ye that believe that all he writes is other than the meer 〈…〉 Chiens , or Dogs-brabling ; other than the Impertinent Flashes of Fury and Revenge , or else the Grateful Acknowledgments of Tavern-Adoration , while he blesses himself to be the aged Thamuz of two or three Red-twisted Clubs ; All ye , I say , shall not , no not for your Ears , that is , as you tender the loss of his Favour , which is not worth a Straw ; as you tender the Lashes of his Pen , that are not worth a Rush ; All Ye , I say , shall not believe , that is , Ye shall give no more credit , than a Roman Catholick would to a Heretick , tho he speak never so true , tho he has been already believed by his Prince and Chief Counsellors ; yet ye shall give no credit to Him , that is , to that Person , whoever he be , that swears he has seen the Observator at Mass in the Queens Chappel : for this Nettles him to the Quick ; a Nest of Gad-bees is not more terrible at Midsummer to a gall'd Horses Back . It makes him yerk , and kick , and fling , and low and bellow like Iupiter's Mistress in the shape of a Heifer , with Iuno's amorous itch in her Tail. Now these are the Effects of touching the Copyhold of our Admired Guide : but wo worth him that touch'd it ; for the Law of the Meads and Persians is gone forth , Ye shall not believe Him. But notwithstanding this severe Edict , you 'll say , Why may not we believe him if we please ? He discover'd the Murder of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey , and was believed . He was also farther believ'd , notwithstanding the Address of Thomson's Managers , and the great Lists your ador'd Conductor gave them , to the Shame and Ignominy of those that sought to blemish his Reputation . Why then shall not we believe him ? Oh! my Beloved , there is a Reason for that , such a Reason as all the Sorbonne Doctors could not have studied a better . Our Conductor is a Person that has a Head not so big perhaps as an Elephant ; but had he had the Brains of an Elephant , a Camel , a Whale , and the Ethiopian Hippopotamos , all united tagether in one Scull , he could not have found out a more notable piece of substantial Reason , than he has done with that lesser Pericranium of his , Because He made certain Brass Screws for an Antipendium . Now , my Beloved , to make you understand these Words aright , I must go a preposterous way to work , in regard I must set the Cart before the Horse , by a certain Greek Figure called Hysteron Proteron ; that is , I must tell ye what an Antipendium is , what the Brass Screws are , then who made them , and upon what account . I must confess , Our Conductor has made more noise in the World with these Screws , than ever Vulcan and all his Cyclops made at the framing of Achilles's Armour : Come into S — 's Coffee-house , there was nothing but a confus'd noise of Brass and Screws , and Screws , and Brass Screws . Antra Aetnaea tonant , striduntque Cavernis Stricturae Chalybum — You would have sworn you had been in the Halting Deity 's Work-house , with his Journey-men Brontes and Steropes , and Brawny Pyracmon . And what was all this for , but to prove that there was a Reason why the certain He was not to be believed ? So that whatever was the proper Use of the Screws , Our so admired Guide intended them for another Use , which was , to have trepann'd the soft Noddles of the Vulgar into a belief of his fabulous Contrivance . But now leaving the Screws a while , let us return to the Antependium , alias Antependulum , corruptly Antipendium , which derives its Being from two Latin Words , Ante , Before ; and Pendere , To hang : And these two Words copulating together , have produced a kind of Mongrel Monstrosity , called Antependulum , or Antependium , vulgarly Antipendium , that is to say , Something hanging before . Now there are so many things that hang before , that I am afraid we shall be a great while upon the scent , before we find out this proper Antipendium , for so we will henceforth call it , for brevities sake . We find , in the Learned Petronius Arbiter , that there are some Men that carry your Antipendiums in their Breeches . These are , as the same Author says , your Lumborum solutorum viri , the Impotent and the aged . A sort of People generally contemn'd by the Female Sex , and therefore most commonly Cornuted ; that is to say , because they have onely Antipendiums in their Breeches , they are forced to carry Antestandiums in their Foreheads . Of these Antipendiums Iuvenal gives ye an Account in these Words ; Et quamvis tota palpetur nocte jacebit : And therefore ( saith Petronius ) the Persons who are so unfortunate , are In Capricorno Erumnosi , quibus prae mala sua ( sorte ) Cor●●a nascuntur . For this Reason I shall cease to speak any more of these sort of Antipendiums . Onely , my Beloved , I shall give you this advice , That you keep your Antipendiums out of harms way . There are some Persons ( a thing too common now a days ) who are very careless of their Antipendiums : And what becomes of 'em then ? Why , many times they lose their Antipendiums , for want of Brass Screws , that is to say , firm , sound , lasting Screws , not such rotten , foul , infected Screws as they made use of . Therefore , say I , keep your Antipendiums out of harms way . There are another sort of Antipendiums , so called because they hang before all the World. Of this kind was that same Crucified Thief that was stoln by night from the Roman Soldier ; but the Cross was presently supplied again by the chast and vertuous Ephesian Matron , with the Corps of her five-days-deplored Husband . Malo mortuum ( quoth the chaste Matron ) impendere , quam vivum occidere . The Soldier ( saith the Text ) nec deformis nec infacundus Iuvenis castae videbatur , was neither deformed nor unpleasing Society to the Chast Matron . And then again , her Maid , the Companion of her Complaints , ( hoping to come in for a Share , as she did ) came over her with an irresistible piece of Perswasion , — Placito ne etiam pugnabis Amori ? And so the good Lady yielded at last , for the sake of the Soldiers Antipendulum , to surrender the long-bewailed , dear , dead Corps of her Hu●band , to be an Antipendium among Rogues and Thieves , rather than the Kind Soldier , that had prolongued her days , should suffer . In the same manner you shall observe several Antipendiums of this nature , upon the Roads of England : particularly three between Istington and Hatfield , who may be also called Antipendiums in time , because they were hang'd before them that were hang'd after ' em . Thus Staley was an Antipendium to Coleman , Coleman an Antipendium to Grove and Pickering . Then you might have beheld three more Antipendiums , Hill , Green , and B●rry , who were Antipendiums in respect of Whitebread and his Brethren . And lastly , Thompson and Farwell were another sort of Antipendiums to Westminster-Hall . Well , my Beloved , 't is pity that Man was not made as Momus would have had him made , that is , with Windows in his Breast : For I am perswaded , could you see into our dear Conductor's Heart , you would there discover a most violent Antipathy against the Person Him in my Text , and a whole Rosarie of earnest Wishes , that he might live to see Him made an Antipendium among the rest ; nay , you might see another Result of his Mind , that he would not spare for the Expences of half a dozen Half●●eets Salarie , for a pair of excellent Brass Screws , to fasten Him to the Gib●t . And I give this Reason for what I say ; For that Person , who having an Enmity against another , cannot Coach it by his Door , but he must lill out his Tongue at him , shews a vast heat of Malice and passionate Fury in his Bowels , take it which way you please , either like one of Lucan's Menippus's , or , according to the natural Custom of Birds and Beasts in hot Weather . 'T is an ill Sign that the same Maligning Person , sitting in the same Church , at the same Service of God , over against the Maligned Him , should be so unable to temper his Charity in the sight of God , that he could not refrain from a Cough of Derision , like the Calling of Quails , or the Iugging of Partridges , to waken his drowsie Friends to a particular notice of the Rehearsal of the Ninth Commandment ; as if the Timing of his Phlegmatick Hem — Hems — so particularly concerned his Opposite Him , that all the rest of the Church were presently bound to look up , and stare , upon his Phthysical Alarms . Whereas , in truth , the Breach of the Commandment lies upou our dear Conductor's side , to accuse a Person about Screws and Antipendiums , that signifie no more , than if he had made the same noise , and bark'd with the same inveteracy , against the Moon . Tell me , my Beloved , where this Man's Charity lies , in Podice Canis , or in anxietate Asini ? But I come now to another sort of Antipendium , I mean the Play-house Curtain , that hangs before the Scenes . And this is sometimes a Comical , sometimes a Tragical Antipendium . Now I am apt to believe , that our dear Conductor meant his Conceit for a Comical Antipendium , as having a desire to oblige the World with a little Mirth ; to which purpose he made this Comical Romance of Screws and Antipendiums , populo ut placerent quas ipse fecit fabulas . What ill luck it was he wanted Intelligence to compleat the Fable ? 'T was pity he had not heard of the Smith's Wife in Distaff-lane , that was perswaded to environ her self with Back , Breast , and Head-piece , and follow her Husband to the Ale-house , like a St. George a Foot , or another Penthesilea : From whence he might have fram'd another strange Story , of a Walking Antipendium , and have made three or four Prognosticating Observators out of it . Well , but you 'll say , This is not the Antipendium which our dear Conductor meant — However , do but hoise it up , and it presently presents you with a Sight . First , Behold our dear Conductor sitting in an Elbow-Chair , between Circe on the one side , and Medea on the other , who have each of them the Command of two great Fat 's , as big as Rhenish-Wine Fat 's ( You would think our Conductor Sutler-General of England , between his two Camp-Mistresses of the Field ) These Fat 's contain a most pleasing and intoxicating Potion , between Circean , Medean , and Whore of Babylonian , much of the same Brewing as Ovid describes it , Nec Mora : misceri tosti jubet hordea grani Mellaque , vimque meri , cum lacte coagula passo , Quique sub hac lateant furtim dulcedine succos Adjicit . — About these Fat 's you shall see Multitudes of People pressing , some for their Quarterns , some for their Half-quarterns , some for their Gills , which they have no sooner drank off , but they fall into several sorts of Frenzies and Ecstasies ; some fall a Huzzaing , some curse the Whigs , others damn the Dissenters , another swears all Men are Liars but the Observator , another rails at Ignoramus Juries . And for the Observator himself , he seems to have taken a large Dose ; for he does nothing but rave against Aldersgate-street , Throckmorton-street ; tells ye a hundred Bedlam Stories of Screws and Antipendiums , and Vintners Boys ; the meer gerrae of a wounded Fancy . After this , you shall see two Iesuits present him with an Instrument ready tun'd ; upon which he falls a playing as if he were mad . Thereupon you shall presently see the Pope his nown self descending in a Chair of State , screw'd together with Brass Screws , to hear the Musick of his Lessons . He seems to be extremely pleas'd , nods his Head and smiles , and so having given him thanks for assisting Thompson , abusing Dr. Oates and Prance , up he soars again out of sight , and then down drops a Showr of Guineys , and down drops the Antipendium , and so the Shew ends . And thus we come to another sort of Antipendium , I mean , the Gaudy Bushes that hang before your Entrances into the Oracle of the Bott● ; a frequent Sign of the Habitation of a certain Commander called a Captain . True it is , that formerly Bacchus and Mars , th● they were near of kin , yet they were two distinct Persons . Mars was a God both by the Father and Mothers Side , but Bacchus onely by the Fathers Side . Iuno was Mars's Mother ; but Bacchus's Mother was no other than Cadmus's Daughter , whose Name was Semele . Yet this Semele was akin to Iuno too , as being Great-grand-daughter to Iuno's Sisters Great-Aunts Cousin-●ermain . I refer ye for the rest to the Heralds Office. But now I think on 't , you may spare your selves that trouble . For , as you may read in Ovid's Metamorphoses , or else in the most worthy Ribadeneira's Volume of Wonders , in process of Time Mars and Bacchus were incorporated into one Person , called a City-Captain . The Reason you shall find in Lucian's Council of the Gods. For they , in deep Consultation among themselves , wisely considering the vain , hot-headed , frantick , Hector-like , Humours of Mortals in their Wine , and what prejudice the Sons of Semele received , by breaking their Chairs , slashing their Hangings , mangling their Pictures , twisting their Silver Spoons , disfiguring their Tankards , throwing their Pots down Stairs , and kicking the young Menades , or Drawers , resolved , as I said before , to incorporate Bacchus and Mars , Vintner and Captain , into one , to enable them the better to quiet the Quarrels of such Hectorean Lapithe's as should presume to invade their Liberties and Properties in their own peculiar Dominions . These Antipendiums are of great consequence ; for these are those Antipendiums that direct the Poet to those Hippocrenes of Sack and Claret that inspire him to write wanton Comedies , Tragick Raptures , and Pindarick Love-Verses . That guide the Melancholy where they may drown their Cares ; the Huzzaers , where to Huzzah ; the Plotters , where to Consult ; the Men of Pleasure , where to Treat their debonnair Misses ; Lords , Knights , and Gentlemen , where to roar and swagger ; and , in a word , where Men may dispatch all sorts of Business , settle Religion , order the State , but more especially throw off the troublesom Clog of their Estates , and gain the Appellation of Good Common-wealths-men , for increasing the Publick Revenue . But now , my Beloved , I come to the Business , those Antipendiums of Antipendiums , the Female Antipendiums , the Ladies Antipendiums , the Mothers Antipendiums , the Daughters Antipendiums , the Mistresses Antipendiums , the Maids Antipendiums ; Antipendiums without , Antipendiums within . As for example ; there is first the Gold-fring'd and Silk-fring'd Antipendium , that brush the City Free-stone , and the Church-Pavement so clean , that Younger Prentices and Sextons have little to do : The Gorgeous Antipendium , so ponderously Fring'd and Lac'd , 't would almost sprain a Mans Wrist to move it ; so wondrous weighty , that many times they crack the Purse-strings that hoise 'em and loar 'em , tho as big as ordinary Cables , while the gay Enchantress walks in her Circles of Gold and Silver , and bewitches all the World. Now , Beloved , behind this Antipendium is another Antipendium , and behind That , another : But then , Beloved , O then ! What then ? — Oh! how I stretch , and yawn , and gape to think on 't ! Then appears the Antipendium indeed , the true , right , undeniable , Hyperbolical Antipendium , that hangs before those Arva Muliebria , those Hortos Cupidinis , as the Learned Apuleius hath it ; That Antipendium which if it be but Lac'd , Emperours will stoop to raise it . This is that Antipendium which the Unlearned , the Illiterate , the People of Long-lane and Wapping , call a Smock . But now how highly , how infinitely is the Nation , the Whole Nation ( for all Men , all Sects , all Opinions are now concern'd ) how past all Retribution are they oblig'd to our dear Conductor , for this fine , clean modest , neat , harmless , inoffensive Word ? The Ladies too are bound to give him eternal praise and honour . For now , never no more , never in this World , shall a Smock be call'd a Smock , but an Antipendium . Let the Word Smock be banish'd to the Skirts of the Suburbs , but let the Word Antipendium be the Darling of the English Tongue . How many serious Questions , which Manners , only Manners forbid before , may a Gentleman now ask his Mistress concerning her Antipendium ? A Lady may order her Servant to lay her out a clean Antipendium , tho there were twenty Gentlemen i' th' Room . Certainly if the Ladies and Gentlemen do not joyn together , and erect a Monument to our dear Conductor , for making known to the World this sober , maidenly , bashful , shamefac'd , mannerly Word , they will be very ungrateful , and never deserve to have such an Observator again . 'T is a Word so modest , that the very Quakers may use it . This is that Antipendium to which the desires of Rich and Poor , Lords and Peasants , Young and Old , all tend , as to the Center of their Happiness . For love of this Antipendium some Men hang , others drown , others poyson themselves . The Monks and Friars lick their Lips at it . The Jesuit pulls off his four-square Cap to it , very reverendly : Even his Holiness himself will not disdain to pay his Devotions to this Antipendium . Nay , more than all this , our dear Conductor admir'd one of these Antipendiums in his drooping Years ; nor would he Court like a Common Mortal , but like another Iupiter , deceiv'd the Jealous Acrisius . But now you 'll ask me , What Screws are most proper to fix this Antipendium ? Why , I must tell ye , your Golden and Silver Screws are very proper , and many times prevail exceedingly : but as the Case may happen , many times your Brass Screws , that is , your boisterous , ranting , tearing , confident Screws , of which Epithets Brass is the general Emblem , and therefore for that Reason call'd metonymically Brass Screws , are much more desirable ; insomuch that there are several Cleopatra's and Messalina's of the Age , that had rather have two such Brass Screws , than two and forty Golden or Silver ones . But here , my Beloved , let me give you a serious Caution . Sometimes it happens , that by vertue of a certain Figure called Synechdoche , the Part is taken for the Whole ; that is , the Antipendium which covers , is taken for the Vacuum covered . So then , my Beloved , if at any time you find the Antipendium more displeasing to your sight , than the Vacuum which it conceals , I say , Beware your Brass Screws . Have a care of such an Antipendium as Dejanira's was , that burnt Hercules alive . For sometimes you shall meet with an Antipendium scalding with such an Etnean Heat , as would even melt the Rhodian Colossus's Brass Screw , were they in being . I must confess , my Beloved , we our selves , I mean those of our Long Robe , have a strange fancy for these Antipendiums , insomuch that you would swear , that a great part of the Tribe of Levi were turn'd Gentlemen-Ushers . Which makes me admire that so many of our Sommer-Divines should be so zealous for our dear Conductor , that would so fain once more subject them to the cast-off Yoke of Antichrist , who will not allow them the convenience of these Antipendiums , than which there is nothing in the World more delightful to them . I could here run into a prodigious Discourse of the Conveniencies and Inconveniencies of these Antipendiums ; but it behoves me to be guided by my Hour-glass , which is the Measure of your Patience . Well then , by way of Application , the Moral of all this , is , to shew ye how zealous our dear Conductor has been to raise and improve a company of Tales and Romantick Stories of Screws and Antipendiums , not at all for the Publick Good , but all in the silly and shammaking Justification of his own Ill-Conduct , not to call it worse ; tho to the utter ruine of one of the Chiefest and most Unblemished Evidences of that damned Conspiracy against the Life of his Sacred Prince , and the Subversion of his Government . A most transcendent piece of Loyalty , and most highly deserving the Fat of Venison among Boys and Prentices ▪ Alas ! there 's no body denies the Act of making the Brass Screws to a Popish Chappel Antipendium , which hangs before the High Altar upon High days ; but that they were made without the Approbation and Knowledge of the Employers , is that which our dear Conductor would fallaciously impose upon the World , to prove that Cain's taking the Sacrament , was more acceptable to God than Abel's . Oh , my Beloved , you blaspheme our dear Conductor : Can he speak an Untruth ? — Why not ? — For tho the Virgin Mary was so kind to St. Dominic , as to give him a Visit from the Coelum Empyreum , and to bring him the Confirmation of his Orders written with an Angels Pen , we do not hear that ever St. Michael brought our dear Conductor any Patent from Heaven to be Truth-speaker General of England . And therefore 't is a Presumption and Arrogance in our dear Conductor to pretend to be the onely Utterer of Truth , unless he could prove his Assertions by better Proofs than the Flams of Screws and Antipendiums . 'T is much he had never another Story of Screws and Antipendiums for Dr. Fletcher , who swore much more to the purpose than Prance . Of which two Persons , when one of their Oaths is enough to render our dear Conductor suspected , it is to me a wonder how he can have the Effronterie to defend the Interest of the Church of England ; or the Church of England Men be so weak to own him for their Champion , which is the greatest Scandal they now lie under . But 't is observable ▪ my Beloved , that when our dear Conductor is pinch'd , he presently recoils under the Protection of Loyalty , and cries out with a loud Voice Treason , Treason , Lies , Rebellion , Covenants , Associations , &c. like a Dog that snarles between his Masters Legs . But , my Beloved , our dear Conductor is to understand , that there are Persons in the World that will not come to Sam 's Coffee-house to learn what Truth or Loyalty is , from such a State-Pragmaticus as his Worship . If he would know what Loyalty is , we will tell him , for once , from a much more Venerable Author than himself , writing to the present Dolphin of France : After all that hath been said , saith he , we are to conclude , That if we would observe the inviolable , the vertuous Fidelity of Subjects , it behoves us to be obliged to our Lawful Prince by the same Ties that we are bound to God ; that we reverence Kings as His Lieutenants , and His Living Images , the Ministers of His Iustice , and the Organs of His Will. La Faussette , des Vertus Humaines , Tom. 1. pag. 487. Let him deeply consider these Words , and make his best of ' em . 'T is to be suppos'd , when he has conn'd 'em well , he will better distinguish between Loyalty to a Prince and his Government , and Compliance with a Parish-Ceremony , and recant his Heathenish Assertion of removing the Dissent . In the mean while , let not this Shimei of an Observator brandish his reproachful Pen against so many thousands of People , that make so great a Figure in the Nation ; Persons that from the Peerage to the Tradesman share so large a Portion of the Kingdoms Wealth , and therefore not to be reflected upon , without considerate Meditation , and the Conviction of Legal Proofs . Reproach and Calumny will provoke the most patient and innocent of Men : — Vexat Censura Columbas . Therefore Machiavil himself abhors Incendiaries and Calumniators , as the Pests of a Commonwealth . He allows of Legal Accusation ; but , saith he , Calumnies are detestable , as not requiring Proof and Testimony ; whereas Accusations , must be legally and judicially made apparent . Let our dear Conductor accuse as much as he can ; but let hm not revile , and tell idle Stories , and call his fraudulent and adulatory Assertions Loyalty , as if he thought he could convince the Nation , by disputing with himself . Which Admonition would he but observe , as the World would not be so intollerably pester'd with his loose Half-sheets , so he might have more leisure to think of retiring to the other World , which he once promised to do , but has most wickedly broke his Promise . FINIS . 
A36024	----	The dilucidation of the late commotions of Turkey containing an exact and distinct account of all causes and motives of the deposing of Mahomet, and of the advancing of Soliman to the imperial throne of Constantinople, gather'd from the letters of a person dwelling in, and minutely inform'd of the affairs of that city, and consecrated to the ever august merit of the most serene elector of Bavaria / printed in Italian at Venice, and translated into English by the author of the Monthly Account; to be annex'd to numb. 10 of the Monthly Account. 1689 Approx. 90 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A36024 Wing D1491 ESTC R19122 11759570 ocm 11759570 48635 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A36024) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 48635) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 488:25) The dilucidation of the late commotions of Turkey containing an exact and distinct account of all causes and motives of the deposing of Mahomet, and of the advancing of Soliman to the imperial throne of Constantinople, gather'd from the letters of a person dwelling in, and minutely inform'd of the affairs of that city, and consecrated to the ever august merit of the most serene elector of Bavaria / printed in Italian at Venice, and translated into English by the author of the Monthly Account; to be annex'd to numb. 10 of the Monthly Account. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 38 p. Printed by J.B. and publish'd by Randal Taylor, London : 1689. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. 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Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Mehmed -- IV, -- Sultan of the Turks, 1642-1693. Süleyman -- II, -- Sultan of the Turks, 1642-1691. Turkey -- History -- Mehmed IV, 1648-1687. Turkey -- History -- Süleyman II, 1687-1691. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Dilucidation of the Late Commotions OF TURKEY . Containing an Exact and Distinct Account of all the Causes and Motives of the deposing of Mahomet , and of the advancing of Soliman to the Imperial Throne of Constantinople . Gather'd from the Letters of a Person dwelling in , and Minutely inform'd of the Affairs of that City , and Consecrated to the ever August Merit of the most Serene Elector of Bavaria . Printed in Italian at Venice , and Translated into English by the Author of the Monthly Account . To be Annex'd to Numb . 10. of the Monthly Account . LONDON , Printed by I. B. and Publish'd by Randal Taylor , near Stationers-Hall . 1689. A Full and Distinct ACCOUNT OF THE Late Commotions IN Constantinople . AMong the Considerations that may move the minds of Great men to enquire with exact Diligence into things that daily occurr in matters of State , none of the smallest is that of shrifting into the rises and Motives of Changes and Tempests of Government , by reason that very often from a a most inconsiderable Cause are derived the total subversions of Kingdoms , though barely to reflect upon the beginning of these vicissitudes , would be esteemed a thing rather worthy of ridiculous Contempt , than of mature Consideration . The first Monarchy of the World , which was that of the Assyrians had its fall from a most frivolous and accidental Contingency , through Sardanapalus their last King suffering himself to be seen in a Female Habit by his Generall , whence that of the Modes had its rise , which again meerly by a Dream was tumbled down the Precipice , and so the others that started up can hardly boast any more considerable Origine of their Ruine . Thus it is not only usefull , but also necessary for Princes to observe minutely the train of things , in the matter of the winding up the fate of Great Potentates , that so in the School of the Events of others they may find their own instruction , and so provide themselves with Preservatives against the intervention of the like Cases . The Ottoman Monarchy , which for many Ages has been raised up to the highest pitch by Victories and Conquests , now like to the former , is running on to a ruinous Precipice : And though it has used its utmost efforts to uphold it self against the violence and Impetuosities of contrary Accidents , which guide it to a Fall , yet must it suffer the vicissitudes of Natural things , which after having encreas'd to a certain pitch of greatness , pay the necessary Tribute to their Decay and Debasement . The late Convulsions which have been for some Months at Constantinople have more than a little contributed to the Depression of that Empire , with the Deposing the Grand Signior Mahomet , and the advancing of Soliman his Brother ; adding thereunto the total Change of the Principal Ministers , who with the spilling of their own Blood have stained the new Monarchs Purple . The Knowledge of this is come to and spread throughout the whole World , but alter'd either by passion or affection , conformably as Interest or Adulation requires , and the particulars of those Convulsions have been divulg'd neither with that Evidence nor that Clearness , as my intention is to do at present , desiring to give the ensuing Account , as it was taken upon the Place of the Occurrences herein related , and from such Persons as would secure it of the judicious consideration and virtuous Curiosity of the most noble Geniusses . Before that the Elector of Bavaria seconded by other Imperial Squadrons had near Esseck disorder'd , put to flight and utterly routed the Ottoman Army , Intestine Dissentions overwhelm'd the same by the means of Soliman Pacha , Grand Vizier , and Osman Chiaus Pacha , because that this Latter having ever before been us'd to be the head of the Asiatique High-way-men , and to scowr over all without any Military Discipline , one while Plundering one Village , and then another , and withall not scorning to robb and strip Passengers , he could not confine himself to the streights of a Pass assign'd him by the Grand Vizier in order to guard it , and very bitterly bore with the being subordinate to other Peoples Commands , whereupon the Pass being attack'd by the Imperial Troups , the Most Serene Elector of Bavaria having advanc'd at the head of them with incomparable Resolution , he presently made Osman sensible that his Dastardly Retreat was the having to do with Martializ'd Men ; that his pretended Valour was only the false Bravery of Highway-Men , and that it was a Temerarious Presumption in him to think chat the Conduct or flashy Gallantry of a Robber could entitle him to the Soldiery . This occasion'd the Grand Vizier's and Osmans Impraching each other at the Port of the Unhappy success of the Ottoman Armies . But the Viziers Party prevail'd as being grounded upon Reason , and as having made appear that he in the Retrenchments of the Quarters , and in ordering of the Troups , had not been wanting to exert the Talents of a Prudent and Experienc'd Generall ; if the other had shewn that of a Faithfull Minister in maintaining so very important a Post as was left to his Fidelity and Custody . In the mean while orders were dispatcht from the Port to the Grand Vizier to secure Osman and his Adherents , by putting them in Prison or else to Death , conformably as he should judge most Expedient for the weal of the present Posture of Affairs . He , however being of a Nature very distant from imbruing his Hands in the Subjects Blood , considered , that it was not then a time to foment the boiling humours of the Army that was in over-great Dejection and Confusion through the late Defeat , he judg'd it more advisable to conceal and surcease the supream order , and to connive at all patiently till a more convenient season , or that a more happy conjuncture afforded him the opportunity of executing it without a noise . But Osman who had by other means penetrated the secret , manag'd himself with Extraordinary Caution , ever labouring under Apprehensions of being unexpectedly surpriz'd , and being a Person that knew how to captivate the Affections of the Militia by the hopes of Booty , attempted , and sped in making them Mutiny against Soliman , who having neither forces to resist , nor means to pacify the Soldiery , esteem'd it a judicious Resolution by flight to escape from the Rage of the Mutinous Troups , as he did in the Company of the Tefterdar or Grand Treasurer , and the Rais Effendi or Great Chancellor , going in a Boat upon the Danube as far as Russe , and from thence passing Post to Adrianople , where he stay'd to attend the Grand Signiors orders . But because the rout of the Army had occasion'd a more than ordinary Confusion in the Grand Signior's Mind , Regeb Pacha , the Kaimecam , found it a difficult Province to pacify him , and to make him sensible that it was an effect of fortune , and not any want of failure in the General : It becoming Regeb to be more than ordinary urgent to uphold Solimans Reputation , as having been advanced by him to the Office of Kaimacam ; And accordingly he at length succeeded , and withall obtain'd a Promise from the Grand Signior to be made Grand Vizier . In the mean while Osman Chiause's Mutinous Troups gave no small matter for Apprehension ; seeing after having Sack'd and Plunder'd the Tents and Moveables of the Vizier Soliman upon his flight , they would also make appear to the Port , this to have been done through a Motive of just Resentment , and not the effect of a Rebellious Spirit . For this intent they elected out of the Body of the Army four Commissioners , whom they sent to Constantinople , at the same time that the Grand Signior to quiet them had ordered that a Vest and Sword should be dispatcht to Osman declaring him Seraskier , and had permitted Soliman to repair to Constantinople . While Soliman was on his way thither , he had notice from sure hands of the foresaid Commissioners or Deputies journey , and understood , that the Demand they had to make in the name of the whole Army , was , that they would absolutely have him deposed from being Grand Visier . Upon this he made a halt , and having consulted severall Opinions , he determined to consigne the seal and Prophets Standard to the Tefterdar and to Rais Effendi , that they might present them to the Grand Signior , and he having left the high Road god privately into Constantinople . He would not go directly to hazard his own Person at a time that the Deputies of the Army might have inculcated some distaste in Grand Signier's Mind , whom fear did easily make suceptible of any impression ; but thought expedient to keep private , hoping that by the means of the Kaimecan his Creature to facilitate his ingresse to the Grand Signior , and that he might with the more Security make his vindication , when the Deputies were departed . These Deputies had their Audience , and their Demand being understood , the Grand Signior was at a loss for Councill , and compell'd by the present necessity , he determin'd Osman Chiaus Pacha for Vizier , dispatching the Seal to him with the Prophets standard by the Selicter , who is the Officer that carries the Grand Signiors Sword ; furthermore commanding expressly Rais Effendi , and the Tefterdar to return with all dilligence to the Camp. While that in Constantinople such Resolutions were preparing to apply speedy Remedies to all these Evills , came notice to the Court , that the Soldiery being become more contumatious than ever , were not only intent upon their own satisfaction , but proceeding from Military to Politicall matters , pretended to lay hand to the Helme , and with the Sword cut through the Chain of the present Government . The Soldiers consider'd , that the Principall Ministers , being brought into discredit with , and Suspition of the Prince , he would have neither force nor Councill to resist the Violence of a Resolute Army . The Grand Signior labour'd under such a daunting surprize that he would have postpon'd any Political consideration to the Preservation of his own Person and Degree ; whereupon the Soldiers having gain'd their Point of placing in the management of publick Affairs Ministers depending on them , might the more freely give a loose to their Rapines , Insolencies and undue and boundless Pretentions of Pay , without fearing Correction , seeing those who were to obviate such exorbitances were of their party ; and then having once set foot upon the Authority of their supreme Lord , it would be no difficult matter in other Occurrences to improve the same means for the attaining of their Demands . In the mean while they marched away for Constantinople with a firm Resolution and most solemn Vow to reform the present Government , and to cause to fall as victimes to their own establishment the Head of the Kislar Aga , and Chief of the Black Eunuchs , who was the Grand Signiors Chiefest Favourite , and many Others as well within as without the Seraglio . This unexpected Advice did in such manner surprize Mahomets mind , as not being a person us'd to such like Encounters , that he absolutely lost all hopes not only of interrupting the execution of this Design , but also of making the least opposition . Indeed Regeb Kaimecam did with a Courageous and undaunted Spirit face all these threatning Dangers , and advis'd the Grand Signior to retire into the Great Seraglio , and to provide it with his choicest and valiantest Troups as a Bank against the inundations of the Rebellious squadrons . He made a shift to give his Prince to understand that the suddenly giving way to the temerity of mutinying Subjects , was a giving them Liberty and Encouraging them to have often recourse to the like disloyall way of proceeding , which they would the less doubt their succeeding in , seeing they had allready trac'd out a path to the accomplishment of their rash and insolent Demands . That the making head in such like cases was the shewing that to Command and Authority he had united sense & Courage to maintain them . That the insolent Multitude was like an airy vapour , that upon the bare appearing of the Raies of it's Lawfull Prince immediately dissolves away , and is reduc'd to the state of true Obedience . That did he but stand Firm and Constant in not suffering the Rights and Prerogatives of his Crown to be Usurp'd , he would by the effects find the steadyness of his Councills . But such Exhortations as these prevail'd little upon the Grand Signior , because that fear having possess'd and darkned his understanding , did not suffer him to discern the Clearness of these Reasons . This notwithstanding , this Trusty Minister would needs have recourse to new Means to obviate the Inconveniences , that were abrooding , and repairing to the Mufti he would have procured of him to issue out a Proclamation or Sentence , by which to declare guilty of High Treason and Rebells all those that should have the insolence to oppose and not punctually obey the orders of the Grand Signior . But the Mufti knowing such a Declaration to be void , when the not executing the Supreme Orders is an immediate Offence of Delinquency , judg'd it sounder Counsel , to decline such a Province , and the rather , seeing Force and not Law prevail'd in the present Juncture . Regeb being excluded from those hopes , did for his last shift feel the Aga of the Ianizaries Pulse , meaning , ( upon a supposition of his being stedfast and constant in his Loyalty to his Prince ) to try whether he was able in some manner to bring down the Arrogancy of the Tumultuous Soldiery , and both fix the staggering Throne to its Lawfull Sovereign , and divert the impending ruine ; and he found him not averse to his Intentions . But so much Diligence us'd by the Kaimecam for the Grand Signior's good , brought forth a most sinistrous effect , because while he was contriving and procuring the Safety and Maintenance of his Emperour's State and Grandeur , he pull'd down upon himself the loss of his employ , Liberty , and finally of his very Life . For the Kizlar , seeing so many motions of the Kaimecam , grew more than a little jealous of all these Goings and Comings , doubting that he kept Intelligence with and fomented the Seditious Army , and was minded to strike in with the Mutinous Troups : Yet this suspition , however contrary to the Truth , being communicated by the Kizlar to the Grand Signior , had such efficacy , that Orders were given to take the poor Kaimecam into Custody . This must necessarily have been a piece of wantonness in Mahomets Fortune , that must needs make him himself the Author of his own Ruine , and thus push from him the only Prop that contriv'd all manner of means to uphold his sinking Authority . Wherefore Bostangi Pachi being commanded to secure Regeb , he went to his House , and shewing him the Supreme Order , it was received by him with all manner of seeming unconcern and Resignation ; And thus shewing a most ready Obedience , he immediately order'd his Servants to get him a Horse ready , going along with the Minister to the Stairs foot , where being come he told the Bostangi Pachi , that it would not be inconvenient that he return'd to his Lodgings , to take some Zecchins along with him , & knowing frankness & Gayety to be very efficacious means to speak his Innocency , he cry'd , jestingly , Money even makes those Clean , that are really tainted , & the Ministers train being already far advanc'd , he was only accompany'd by the Aga to his Closet-door , wherein entring , and having open'd a back-Door that led into the Garden , he that way slipt out of the hands of his Guards , and rov●d from Constantinople through the fields for the space of twenty Miles ; but his flight being known by the Grand Signior he ordered some to go in pursuit of him with all Celerity and Diligence , and he was found in a field not only over-whelm'd with his misfortunes , but likewise with weariness and hunger , and thence conducted a Prisoner into the Seraglio . Every shaddow of suspicion that came into the Grand Signiors Head was sufficient to put him upon the Extremest Resolutions : And now doubting that the Mufti confined to Bursia , and the Deposed Vizier Ibrahim , Exil'd to Rhodes , did foment the tumults of the Army , he thought Expedient to Banish the former to a more remote Place ; that so the Distance might deprive him of the Conveniency of Tampering with the Militia ; and then sent the Capigi Pachi to Rhodes , with orders to take off the said Ibrahims head . This Pachi was carried by a Beg , who was much Ibrahims friend ; and was the same that with his own Galley had conducted him to his Banishment in Rhodes . Insomuch that this Beg being come to Ibrahims House , he found him discoursing with some Company , & having paid him his Respects , he was ask'd , if there were any orders concerning him , he answer'd no , for that the Capigi had kept them secret : While they were discoursing in came the Capigi , and having kiss'd Ibrahims Vest , he sat down to drink Coffee in the others Company , which being done he laid his hand upon his Breast , from which Ibrahim conceived some suspicion , as conjecturing what effectually followed , for immediately he imparted to him the order for the having his head . This News so much afflicted Ibrahim that having embrac'd a little Son that sat upon his Knees , he remain'd a while without speaking , then kissing him , & weeping , he commanded that they should take the Child away , then turning to the Capigi he said him : Was it not sufficient for the Court the having divested me of all my Wealth and means , confined to this Place divested of all conveniences and of Liberty it self , but that it must also deprive me of my Life ; what can the Blood of an Vnfortunate Wretch avail the Prince , and what suspicion can redound to the Crown from a Man deposed from all Authority & Conveniency . I must indeed confess that misfortunes never go alone , but like to a Chain one ring is link'd within another : and casting his eye upon the string that was to strangle him , and perceiving it to be too thick , he cry'd that such a Cord was only fit to dispatch a Dog or other Beast , and immediately sent a servant to fetch a Bow-string , and he himself made a knot in it , and while he was washing , before he said his Prayers , he lather'd the Bow-string with sope , and then having ended his Prayers , he was strangled , and his Head being cut from his Body was caryed to Constantinople . The foresaid Scelectar being sent by the Grand Signior with the Seal and Standard for the new Visier Osman met the Army at Nisse near Sophia , just in the time that the Soldiers had in a Tumult kill'd Emir Pacha , and the Tefterdar , for having abandoned them and followed the Vizier in his flight : They also kill'd Ali Effendi the said Emir's Predecessour in the Treasury , and one Aghen Zade , a man of above Eighty years old , who formerly was Rais Effendi , meerly because he admonish'd them not to spill Mussulmen Blood , was by them pursued to death , but he escaping into the Vizier's Tent , was by him cover'd with his own Vest ; but then seeing the Soldiers would inexorably take away his Life , that he might not endanger both his own Authority and Throat , he gave him over to their fury . In the Beginning of their rage Rais Effendi made his escape , and since that time we have had no certain Knowledge of him . The two Secretaries of the Chancery , desired to be strangled secretly , rather then to be put into the Soldiers hands , and were gratified in this their Request , and were put to Death behind the Vizier's Tent , and afterwards their Bodies expos'd to the view of the whole Army . The Ianizary Aga Mustafa Pacha , who was in the same Employ at the Siege of Vienna , and in the Attack of Buda was made Seraskier , did in these tumults run a great risque of his Life , and it was not without very hard shifts that the Vizier was able to save him ; But because he was a Ianizary , they contented themselves with divesting him of his Employ , sending him to Command at the Dardanells instead of Mustapha Pacha the Son of Kiupergli ; who was sent for by the Grand Signior and created Kaimecam of Constantinople . Mahomet judg'd that this man being a Person of great fame as well for his own merit and virtue , as in regard of his Father and Brother , who were Viziers , but much more for being the Chiaus Bacha's Kinsman , his Wife being Mustafa's Sister , he would be the most proper man to divert the Imminent Mischiefs , and allay the tumults of the insulting Militia : Insomuch that being come to Constantinople on the 22d . of October in the night , he repaired the next day to the Serraglio , and was declared and invested by the Grand Signior with the Employ of Kaimecam . On the 4th . Ditto in the Morning was held a Councill , at which time there entred into the Grand Signior's Serraglio , the Mufti , the Kaimecam , Nachib Effendi , or Chief of the Green-Heads , the two Coodeleskiths , and four other Old Preachers , or Scheyhs . There they consulted with all Secresy of the Course they should take to repress the Insolency of the Mutinous Soldiers , but none had the Boldness to speak freely , as not trusting one another , but fearing that having given besitting Council to the Grand Signior , some Partizan of the Troups would reveal it to the Army , and so they might draw their own Ruine upon their Heads : All knowing , that People arm'd without Law and Authority , give themselves a loose into all manner of Injustice , and Woe be to him that does at that time provoke their anger . Whereupon it was concluded on by a Common Consent , that considering the present posture of Affairs , the Grand Signior had not sufficient Power to suppress the Military Arrogancy , and that therefore the most Efficacious Course was Dissimulation , using all means to quiet and lull them asleep , in order to which there was not any more powerfull potion than Gold , and the blood of those whom they esteem'd their Adversaries . This Opinion being embraced , the Grand Signior to begin the Execution of it , did two hours after send the Chiaus Pachi to the Gate-house of the middle of the Serraglio , where Soliman Pacha was imprisoned , and who the day after Regebs flight , was taken by the Bostangi Pachi in his own house , upon the Canal of the Bosphorus , and put into the Gate-house of the middle of the Serraglio , with order to take off his head . As soon as Soliman saw the Chiaus Pachi : I know said he , to what purpose you are come , but the Will of God be done ; I have wash'd , but I have not said my Prayers , and then going into a Withdrawing Room , and having said his Prayers , he did anew call the Chiaus Pachi ; who had been his Creature , and weeping told him : My Hands shall be upon the● in the Day of Iudgment , if with all Sincerity thou dost not acquaint the Grand Signior with the things I have to tell thee : The first is , that all my Slaves both Males and Females are Free , and I declare I have given them full and total Liberty : The other , that my Servants be not Tortur'd to discover my Wealth , because I protest before the face of God never to have been a Man of much Money , and the little I had was left a Prey to the Soldiers in my Tent , when I made my escape from the Camp : True , indeed , that in my House in Scutary , I have some pretty things , but of no great value , which I humbly beseech the Grand Signior that he would vouchsafe to leave to my Son , if out of his Clemency he should not think fitting to conv●●● them to his own use , in which case he is absolute Master : And this is all I desire thee to tell : And having said this , he turn'd his face to the Wall & bid the Chiaus do his Office , and then was strangled and his Head being cut from his Body , was carried to the Kaimecam's House , and from thence to the Grand Signior , who the day following sent it by the Nassachi Agosi to the Army , further offering them the Heads of all those they should require , even those of his own Sons : Promising likewise to satisfy them in all their Pay behind-hand , which was about fifteen Months , and to augment it , and give them a Donative , as if he was a New Emperour , and to this purpose sent them four thousand Purses , each containing above five hundred Dollars , to Adrianople , in case they would stay there , esteeming that place convenient and befitting to Winter in , both for that it abounds in all things , as also that it lay near to take the Field again in the Spring . The Grand Signior did too much dread the coming of the Army to Constantinople , knowing the great Dammage , that must thence ensue ; seeing that but some days before the bare suspicion conceived by the People , that some Troups had entred the City in the Night time , and that the remaining part of the Army was at hand did in a trice Occasion all the shops to be shut up ; but these fears immediately vanished , because that Nissangek Pacha was forthwith dispatcht throughout the whole City and proclam'd that on pain of Death they should all keep open their shops . In the mean while the Soldiers did not shew themselves any wise pacified with the satisfactions given them by the Grand Signior ; and as concerning that of Solimans Death , they openly cry'd , that they had not in the least required his head , but that they aim'd at having him alive in their hands , to make him give an Exact Account of the Moneys Leavied the last year for the Service of the War , and wherein he had consum'd them . The Nassachi , that return'd from the Army with their Answer , found that the Kislar-Aga was imprison'd in the Seraglio , and that in his stead Ali-Aga was made Kasnadar . In like manner the Bostangi Pachi was taken into Custody , and he declared to have the superintendency of that Employ . There were also imprison'd the Seigmen Pachi , or Ianizar-Aga , the Tefterdar , with whom were likewise the Empresses Chiaus and Steward , the Moxur Aga , the Chief Tekragu , Stanni Effendi , Casan Elebi intendant of the Arsenal , Ornar Aga , Regebs Kiaia Giaban Age , or Chief Commissioner of the Customs , who was imprison'd the day of Regebs flight ; and then tormented to reveal the Treasure and the place where he had hid it ; And all these were sent to the Army , by whom they were clapt under Arrest , but the Bostangi Pachi , and the Seigmen Pachi were set again at Liberty , the former being further sent Pacha to Metelino , and the second for Seraskier against the Venetians in the Morea . Nay and the Mokur Aga was sent to command the Ianizaries in Candia , and all this was done by the Armies order . But the freeing the Kizlar-Aga was not with the Consent of the Souldiers , but of the Grand Signiors own Motion , though Condemn'd to pay three hundred Purses , and all the Estate he had in Constantinople to be confiscated . He took his march for AEgypt where he possessed vast Riches , having been in that Employ for 18 Years together in which time he always stood possess'd of the Grand Signiors favour , who suffer'd himself to be govern'd by him more than by any other Minister , insomuch that all the Visirs and Fachas caress'd and presented him to be in his favour . But the Grand Signior on the 22th of October was resolved to put Policy upon the stretch , and like a Candle that is ready to go out , he tryed the most efficacious means to revive the Blaze of his decaying Authority ; for that reflecting , but too late , that he was depriv'd of his most trusty Ministers and Confidents , and surrounded by those that were assign'd him by the Army , and that all the means he had rais'd , to satisfy the Militia , did in no wise avail but render'd them bolder than ever , he came at Midnight into Constantinople . He attempted the Cunningest stratagem to fix himself by main force in the Throne , even to the shame of angry fortune , and feigning to know it to be impossible to maintain himself in the Imperial seat , He askt to speak with his Brother Soliman , giving to understand that he meant to recommend his Sons to him , seeing it became him to give way to the force of his Destiny ; but nevertheless under this fiction he foster'd a resolute Spirit to take away his own Sons and Brothers Lives , that so the Army might be compell'd to continue him at the Helm , there being no others of the Imperial Line . But the Bostangi Pachi and Kizlar-Aga conceived some suspicion of this matter , and immediately made the Kaimecam acquainted with it , who coming instantly ordered the Giuka Aga to go into the streets near the Wall of the Seraglio , and admonished the Grand Signior not to make any Attempt against his own Blood , and to forbear giving any suspicion , by seeking to enter into the Apartments of his Sons and Brother , because that the Ianizaries had surrounded the Seraglio , and would surprize him if he did not remain quiet . This Enterprize being also thus interrupted , he found himself Excluded from all means of maintaining himself in the Sovereign Degree . But now was the hour come that he was to Experience the Vicissitudes of Humanity , passing from the Possession of a vast Empire to the narrow Compass of four Walls , and the first storke that presag'd the effect , was his being given to understand that his Sons were taken from him and put under a safe Guard , with the greater security to cooperate for the Brothers safety . Then he more evidently knew it when he saw himself under Confinement , the Bostangi Pachi having Express order from the Kaimecam , not to suffer him to enter into a Boat , nor so much as to stir out without his first being made acquainted with it . Thus was the Unfortunate Grand Signior penn'd up in the Serrail , without having other Recreation in his tormenting Circumstances , than a harsh Remembrance of his pass'd Grandeurs , which serv'd the more to rack him : He repair'd often to a Kiosch upon the Sea-shore under the Wall of the Serrail , to divert himfelf a little from the Melancholly thoughts which possessed his Mind . In the mean while his Greatnesses terminated on the 29th of October , and upon his Ruines his Brother Soliman laid the first foundation of his felicities . The Army was come within two days journey to Ponte-Grand , and at Midnight entred Chiabeck , where the Lieutenant-General of the Ianizaries , with ten Companies of that Militia , study'd to bring about the alteration , without any Hurly-Burly in the City or Serrail . In the mean while , the Bostandgi Pacha , and the Kizlar-Aga repair'd about Midnight to the Grand Signior Mahomet , in pursuance of the orders they had received of putting him into safe Custody . He in great Confusion knew not what answer to make , but that he did not know of his having committed any Errour , by which he might merit such a punishment ; to which the Ministers reply'd , that he should call to mind , that he had reigned forty years and upwards , and that this ought to suffice him , being the Course of a Man's Life . Before day the Kaimecam , Mufti , Caydelesker , and some Principal Persons of the Law , re-assembled at St. Sophia , and having performed their morning Devotions , at the first Dawn of day they sent the Chiaus-Pachi to the Serrail , and followed him : As ●oon as they were admitted , they required Sultan Soliman , who being brought forth was immediately placed upon the Throne , auguring him all manner of felicity , and that God would bless his undertakings for the Honour and Weal of the Empire . He upon so great and unexpected tydings was not at all ruffled or chang'd ; but with great Modesty and Humility laying his hand upon his Breast bowed down , and in few words render'd them thanks , and they thus leaving him went their ways , and at three a Clock in the Afternoon he was proclaimed Emperour thronghout all the parts of the City . It is a matter Worthy of Reflection , that a few Squadrons of Mutinous Soldiers should be sufficient to bring about the Changing of an Emperour by so long a train of years rooted in the Command of so great and populous a City , without the least Combustion or Disorder , attending such a Revolution , and without meeting Opposition and Resistance ; and this case seems to renew the ancient practise of the Roman Soldiery , who at their pleasure Elected their Emperours , and by barely appearing at the Walls of Rome , forc'd the People to concurr with their Opinion . But however , he that shall consider the consternation , under which People labour'd in Constantinople , will have little Room for Wonder , that they had so quietly suffered the totall Topsy-Turveying of the Monarchy , because that their minds being dejected by continual advices of unhappy Successes , and their Persons terrify'd with the Presence of armed Soldiers , they had neither means nor forces to oppose themselves against the Current of these respective Events . And besides , the People hoping to change fortune with the shifting of Persons , did the more easily comply with the New Government . Moreover the Ministers proceeded with a prudent Cautiousness in the Exaltation of the New Emperour , not staying for all the Soldiery to come into the City , whence would have ensued most heavy Inconveniences , and of considerable Prejudice , if the Military Insolence had had the honour of solely advancing Soliman to the Commands . It s thought that the Deposed's Life will be but very short , by reason of it's being the usual Custom of that Nation to step out of Prisons into the Grave , as allso because that Mahomet being for so many years accustomed to Pastimes , to the Exercises of Hunting , and to Riding dayly , and what is more to Government , could very ill brook to see himself clapt-up in a Chamber , deprived of all Recreation and Authority , whence he must in a short time be conveyed to his Tomb , altho' his Death should not be hastned by the new Grand Signiors Command . On the 31th of October the Kaimecam , and all the Great Personnages went to meet the Vizir , accompanying him two Miles from the City . The Chiaus-Pachi was secured by the Soldiers , and in his stead was elected the Person that had the same Employ about the Vizir . On the first of November the Vizir made his Solemn Entry into Constantinople , accompanied by a Cavalcade of all the Great Men Military and Civil , and on his Left hand rid the Mufty , and in this manner repaired to the Serrail , delivering up to the Grand Signior the Seal and Prophets Standard , from whom he received a new Seal with his own name . Afterwards , the Spahies and Ianizaries assembled in the Hippodrome and Meidan , requiring the Heads of their Enimies , their Pays and other Dues . The Former were in the Hippodrome and the Latter in the Meidan , and they all demanded that Regeb the late Kaimecam should be put alive into their hands , but prevail'd not . He was indeed strangled in Prison , and his Body Exposed upon the Place of St. Sophia before the great Gate of the Serrail upon an old Matt untill the Morning of the sixth day , and then it was removed . This was a great Man both for his Capacity and Courage , and if the Deposed Sultan had listned to his Persuasions , he would either have continued upon the Throne , or at least made his fall a difficult Enterprize by some Act of Generosity . After Regebs Death one Cochiuc Mehomet a Ring-leader of the Mutinous Spahies , endeavoured to persuade the Soldiers to be quiet , and content themselves with three Pays instead of five ; This man had indeed great Authority among the Soldiers , nay more than the Vizir himself , and because great Persons sent him rich Regales , and that he dwelt in a Sumptuous Palace , went abroad in a Magnificent Garb , and rode about with a Guard of Armed Men , these things made the Soldiers jealous that he was corrupted with Moneys , and at their cost procured his own Greatness ; wherefore towards the Evening the Soldiery went to find him out in his own Pallace , and meeting him with slaves and knives miserably killed him . There is some appearance , that the Spahies and Ianizaries will jump in Accord with what concerns their own Interest , but nevertheless are not really united . However the Vizir to pacify them , promis'd to give them all their Pays that were owing to them , and that on the 8th of the same Month they should certainly be satisfied ; but this not being performed , they were forced to deferr the Solemn repairing of the Grand Signior to the Mosch of Iup , for the receiving from Nachib Effendi Chief of the Green-Heads , or the true Off-spring of the Prophet , the Sword with which he had been lately girt . This Pomp was appointed to be on the Fryday , but if Moneys be not to be found out to satisfy the Militia , they , thinking they are impos'd upon , will occasion new Tumults . In the mean while the Soldiers would not suffer the Prey of Kizlar-Aga to escape out of their hands , He having been freed by the deposed Grand Signior , and was going for Cairo . For they dispatcht some after him to seize him , & having overtaken him at Nicea , the Eunuch Capigi Pachi , had not the Courage to attacque him , as having 200. Persons with him ; but having united the Country People , they enclos'd him on all sides , and so being taken Prisoner by the Souldiers , they carried him Prisoner to Constantinople , where he will certainly in a short time be beheaded ; in the Interim they have made him Confess where he hid all his Wealth , knowing him to be Extraordinary Rich. Mahomet , the late Grand Signior , has anew besought the Emperour to grant him the Company of his Sons , and he is indulg'd in his Request , they all being in the very Apartment where for so many Years , the same Soliman was confined in the Serrail . So short a space will not allow Us to pass a Judgment on this Emperours Inclinations ; We know indeed that having for so many Years been us'd to study and the reading of Books , he has levell'd his Genius that way ; Whence he would make a better Master of a School than a Head of Armies . His Mother was removed from the Old-Serrail , where she has allwaies been kept from the time of Sultan-Ibrahims Death to the Grand-Serrail , to participate in the Honours and felicities of her Son , and she is Valide ; but she is said to be crackbrain'd . We since understand by the Letters of the 26th of November , that Tumults had ensued between the Spahies and the Ianizaries , who joyntly refus'd to receive the Pays , without the usuall Donative of the new Emperour ; but the Scarceness of the publick money , by the Exchequers being wholly Exhausted , occasion'd no small Difficulties . The Ianizaries being discontented with their Aga , turn'd him off , and requiring , as has been Customary in former times , a Ianizary-Aga out of the Serrail , the Scelicter was put into that Station , a Man in no wise fitted for the Dignity , having ever been shut up in that Serrail , and of no Practise in Military matters : but this was much for their purpose , desiring to have a head that had need of being rul'd by them , and not they commanded by him . These to provide themselves with money , sent for the Principall Commanders , who are four , of that Cursed Crew , and they Sess'd severall Persons some a hundred Thousand , some fifty thousand Realls , according to each mans means , and made use of their Houses for the Quartering of Soldiers at Discretion , untill they had fulfill'd the Payment of the Summs prescrib'd . In other matters the Concerns of the Soldiery go on quietly , and the Reigning Grand Signior went on the 7th to the Mosch of Iup , in order to the being Solemnly girt , as has been said , with the Sword of Nachib-Effendi , and chief of the Green-heads , which is the Equivalent of a Coronation . The four Chiefs of the Mutinous Soldiers , leading the Militia , as it were , in a string , do truly command the Visir , without his being able to contradict them in any thing , their Insolence owning no other Authority then their own pleasure . After the so many foremention'd Butcheries , there follow'd not any shedding of Bloud , save only that of Lokiuk Mahomet , their Principall Commander , out of a suspition of his being corrupted with the money of the Serrail : and that of the poor Regeb Kaimecam , who was strangled , ( as was before related . ) He that fled towards Cairo is imprison'd in the Seaven Towers , and they have despoil'd him of all his Wealth , but it is not known who will Succeed him . The Reigning Grand Signior has prevail'd for the life of the new Kizlar-Aga , he having got his Redemption by dibursing a hundred thosand Realls ; the like befalling all the Minions of the deposed Grand Signior , by whose favour having enrich'd themselves , they must now buy their Lives at a Dear rate . The new Kaimecam Mustapha Bacha Kiuperli is the favourite of the present Emperour , who has declar'd himself that he would not take away the Life of his deposed Brother , but only that he should be kept as he himself had been . They are now in hopes of enjoying Tranquility in Constannoble , for that the Soldiers having receiv'd all their paies , if they do not harbour other perverse Designs , they will return to their own homes : the greatest pressure they labour under it present is , to find out Money sufficient for the Ensuing Campaign , giving out that the Grand Signior will go in Person to the War , and will Assemble his Army in Adrianople . Great Reformations have been made in the Expences of the Serrail , calculating that they have spared a Million of Reals for this year ; because that this Grand Signior is not used to the Luxuries of the Court , and pretends to govern wholly in Conformity to the Laws , and the Writ his Mother make's not any figure in the Court. Since these Occurrences we have Letters of the 17th . of September , in which we have the Confirmation of all before related , assuring us that there had not only ensued the slaughter of all the Ministers of the deposed Grand Signior , but likewise that all those of his Party are slain , and their estates confiscated , the management of the Government being left to the new Kaimecam , and his Kinsman Chiaus Grand Vizier . They further advise us of the frequent sitting of the Divan to consult about the means of furnishing to the Occasions of the ensuing Campagne . The truth is that they have been hamper'd afresh by the tumults of the Soldiery , part of whom still adherr'd to the deposed Sultan , whence they have judg'd it a prudent Resolution to Separate the Peaceable from the Tumultuous , whereupon a number of the Militia were transported into Asia , and thus the Hurly-Burlies were a little allay'd and quieted . After which the Divan came to a Determination of utterly abandoning the thoughts of Hungary , seeing there were no hopes of keeping it , thinking it sufficient to send some Troups for the defence of Belgrade , and the neighbouring Places , contriving to unite the whole strength of the Soldiery under the Grand Vizier , and send him to Negropont to maintain that Country , which much more conduces to the advantage of the Ottoman Empire , and at the same time the Tartars should with their own forces oppose the Muscovites and Poles , as they had done in the late Campaign . But these Resolutions were quite interrupted by the coming of a Tartarian Envoy , at the same time dispatcht by the Cham of the Crim Tartars , who in the name of his Prince represented to the Port ; that the Tartars ever constant in their fidelity and good Correspondence with Turkey , had at all times exerted their Affection , even at the Cost of their Lives and fortunes . That they had the last Campagne by artifices deluded the formidable forces of the Muscovites and Poles , without suffering them to gain any Advantage over the Countrys that are at the Grand Signiors Devotion . But that is for the ensuing Campaign , they know it impossible for them to make Resistance against the great Military Preparations , that were making by those two forementioned Potentates , in case they were not assisted by the Port with notable Succours of men and money . This Seemed a Thunder-bolt , that put the Divan into the utmost fright , Insomuch they were all Nonplust and in confusion at this unexpected proposall . Wherefore they alter'd all the Resolutions they had allready taken , and made new Projects more sutable to the present Exigency , some Ministers urg'd that it would be a mighty help to dispatch Ministers to the Christian Potentates & Allies and by any means to procure Peace . That they should send a blank signed Paper to Poland ; that so that Crown laying hold of so great an Advantage , might serve for a means to quiet the Muscovites , though not give Peace ; and 't is thought this opinion may prevail ; thus we expect what Resolution they will six upon ; because that the Ottoman Monarchy is certainly at present like to a man in great danger of being cast away , and who to save himself catches hold on the very Briars . Thus it will strike in with any Course , though Disadvantageous , so as that it but tends to re-feat it , and buoy it up amid the Tempests that toss it at present . The End of the First Part. The Second Part. The Prosecution of the Account of the Commotions of Turkey , Correlative to the Dilucidation , taken upon the Place , and fitted for the Publick Curiosity . WHoever lives toss'd amid the Tempests of unhappy Successes , has not any other Glimmering left of friendly Light , save the hopes of getting at the long run out of those Intricate Labrinths of Misery by the thrid either of Prudent Resolutions , or of precipitous Attempts . In the Dilucidation of the late Commotions of Turkey , we left the Ottoman Ministers busy in providing means to procure a Peace with the Confedrated Princes , as the scope of all their Desires , and this not speeding , to make ready all the forces possible ; to stem and make a Bank against the Current of the Catholick Victories , which being more then ever aggrandiz'd by vast Additions of Troups and Warlike Preparations , they foresaw were likely to Seize the nighest and most Important Places of their Dominions . And after the manner of expert Physicians knowing that is is in vain to apply Remedies to outward Distempers , when the inward and Principall parts are infected , they attempted to purge Constantinople of the Seditious Soldiers , and giving them entire satisfaction in all their paies besides opulent Donations , they remanded the Asiaticks with all their Leaders to their own Homes . But because that every bettering of a distemper'd Person is ascrib'd by Persons concerned for a sure Prognostick of restored health , the Turks thought to have enjoyed most peaceably the new Government , being allured by a momentaneous Serene of Quiet , because that the Asiaticks being separated from the Europeans , almost all the Spahies dismiss'd , they had hopes that the remaining part of the Army would peaceably attend the Grand Signior's orders , and march for such Places as should be appointed for the ensuing Campagne . But they do not consider , that when they do not utterly root out the Distemper , every appearance of health , serves only to brood more pernitious ills , and more dangerous Relapses . For Six Chieftains of the Mutinous Troups being left in Constantinople , one Chieftain and two Assistants for the White Banner , and the like for the Red , and likewise four hundred Bolakhaski , or Captains , two hundred for one Party and two hundred for T'other , these pretended that the Grand Signior ought to own the aggrandizement of his fortune to them , aiming to regulate the Government according to their own sence and pleasure , without ackowledging either the Superintendency of the Ministers , or the Soveraignty of the Emperour , and mingling the Profession of Arms with the Exercise of managing the affairs of the City , they fram'd out and demized the publick Revenues with an Intention , perhaps , of Exacting from but of never satisfying the Prince . They went to Audience of the Vizir with their Swords by their sides , in a posture rather of Commanding than of representing Requests , and in short would needs be Judges of all the most Important affairs of the Monarchy . The Vizir durst not openly oppose himself against the temerity of the Mutiniers , the Example of the preceding Ministers miserably butcher'd by the Soldiers serving him for a rule to square his measures by , he made a shew of condescending to all their Demands ; but it is not known whether out of an Intention of lulling them asleep , that he might afterwards surprize them unprovided , and overwhelme them with a blow , so much the heavier as it was Unexpected , or through the faintness of his Spirit , or the want of artifices and evasion , being a man absolutely void of the knowledge of Letters , and so forc'd basely to submit to the Will and Pleasure of a few Soldiers , fearing perhaps that as their tumults had rais'd his fortune , the same means would bring his ruine . Certain it is that hitherto he has not given the least Instance of a Polititian , nor of a man vers'd in publick Concerns , some further questioning whether in the Soveraign Command of the Armies he is like to Speed better than he has hitherto done in Politicall Administrations ; But time which unfolds all will f●rther make known the effect of these suppositions . True it is that the giving way so easily to a few Youths rais'd from an abject Condition , to some fortune , by the Infamous means of Rebellion , is the Maxim of Cowardly Men , when they will not confess , that they themselves having likewise by the same ways obtain'd their Employ cannot shew ends different from the means which serv'd them for their Agrandizement . And because among all the weighty Considerations which the Port may have at present , the principal is to accumulate Moneys by all manner of means , as being the main Nerve of Armies , and the securest way to remove all Turbulencies , by sending the Soldiery away , hence it came that instead of shedding the Bloud of those they deemed worthy of Punishment , they now squeez them of their Gold ; and because the Kizlar-Aga , who as we said in our foregoing Dilucidation , had been Imprison'd in the Seaven Towers , he was freed thence , being nevertheless bound to pay to the Publick Five hundred thousand Crowns , besides vast Sums disburst to the Ministers for the obtaining his Delivery . It was no difficult matter for him to find out so many Sums of Money , because that having been , as has been said , so many Years in Possession of that Employ , and what is more in the Deposed Grand Signiors favour , he had heap'd up infinite Treasures , and principally in AEgypt he had made Acquisitions of vast Territories , and therefore being now made free he took a journey by Land towards Cairo . Nor had Ali Aga Asnadar , who was the formers Successor , any better fortune , seeing he was likewise compell'd to redeem his own Life with the disbursement of a hundred thousand Crowns , and likewise with his repairing to Cairo by Sea having left as Successor in his Employ the Aga of the Old Serrail . There went likewise for Cairo the Selectar , or Sword-Bearer of the Grand Signior , having been appointed by the Court for Pacha of those Countreys , and it is reported that for the making that Voyage he had hired two French Ships for Alexandria , and that further from the Ambassador and Merchants of the said Nation he had borrowed a hundred and fifty Purses , yet with depositing Pledges proportionable , which were to remain on board till such time as that the said Moneys were fully paid in Alexandria . The Life of the degraded Grand Signior seems to give no small suspicion to Soliman's Ministers , as Persons that have a Prospect of the Progress of their Fortunes from upholding the New Emperour . Besides they have insinuated into him that he should not grant Mahomet the favour of the Physicians he requir'd , to cure the Indisposition of his Legs , that were very much Swoln , and to open anew certain parts that had been cut , all having proceeded from a Totall Change of this Princes way of Living , seeing now he is forc'd to remain penn'd up in a Chamber without any manner of Diversion whatever , whereas before by the Exercizes of Riding and Hunting , he was , as it were , in continual Motion . And to palliate this Act of Barbarity , they have persuaded him to answer his Brother : that as for his own part he would most willingly cooperate in all things to his satisfaction , and should chiefly desire to see him recovered from his Indispositions , under which he labours , , if he was sure he should be freed from the Distemper ; but that the Cure being uncertain , and there being no security that the Physicians will be helpfull to him , he will not incurr the Blame of having occasion'd , nay procur'd his Death ; and that this he look'd upon as a necessary Result , well-knowing that the People would suspect , and with reason , that he under the pretext of having him Cured would procure his Death by Contrary Medicines . In the mean while , he supported ( with a Constancy worthy of him ) the Malady , praying God ( in whose hands is the Life and Death of Men ) that he would grant him perfect Health : and with this feign'd Pretext denied the poor Prince so just a demand . This notwithstanding , there are not wanting Adherents to Mahomet that breath after the reprocuring him his lost Estate , and there are Others that propose it as a matter more Expedient to advance his Son to the Throne , giving out , that Soliman being alltogether inexpert in Government , by having through the whole space of his Life been confin'd to a Chamber , without knowing the Maxims , which ought to concur for the Establishing a fortunate Monarchy , and without experience of politique Management , from which every Body of Monarchy receives its Spirit and Vigour . And then the seeing him far from Veneriall Inclinations , by having reform'd the Serails of the Women , under colour of taking away superfluous Expences , makes them believe that as he promises little ability for the Establishment of the Empire , so he affords no great prospect of giving a Succession of Progeny , so necessary to Monarchs . Nevertheless the Concerns of the new Government are far from being well settled ; Nay they give less hopes than ever of continuing in any good posture ; for there are three Factions on foot , the first for the Reigning Soliman , the second for the deposed Mahomet , and the third for his Son , who being in his one and twentith year of Age seems much more capable than the others to receive the Crown ; because that Mahomet who was lately shoulder'd out of the Throne , will very hardly be plac'd again in his former station , seeing this will never be assented unto by those , that have been the Occasion of his being depos'd , with justice suspecting , that being advanc'd anew to the Helme , he will aim at securing to himself the Dignity , by laying the foundations of his establishment upon the Carcasses of his Adversaries . Now Soliman being as it were deprived of the Spirit , Vigour and Capacity requisite for the ruling such a Monarchy , by having been bury'd in the Sloth of so long an Imprisonment , has neither the Age nor Capacity to learn those Maxims , which Constitute a reall Emperour , seeing by that time he can get information and insight into those matters , he must through old Age leave the Helm together with his Life . Thus the only hopes remain in Mahomets Son , a Sprightfull youth , fit to receive all Impression as well of a Martiall as a Politique Prince . The very People , though such as ought not to be medling in matters of Empire , discourse things conformably as they are directed by their Desire or Inclinations : Giving out , that the Vizier , to give some essays of his valour and to acquire merit with the Port , will go into the Morea the ensuing Campegne , with Armies of between forty and fifty thousand Soldiers , with a Prospect of recovering that Realm , and of Signalizing his Name by setting anew in the Ottoman Crown the precious Gem of that lost Kingdom . That for this Purpose the Capigi Pachi was dispatcht to Algiers to let them know that the Port would assign them ten of its ships , that so being united to those of that Republique , the Algerines might make head against the Naval Power of the Venetians . But as these Particularities are not grounded on an evident Certainty they give Occasion to our suspending our totall Belief , expecting that the Benefit of time will Clear the event of such like Reports . Besides there is great Probability that the Turk will , in the Ensuing Campagne , bring greater Forces against the Republick than they did the year before . In the mean while the Ministers of the Port put their wits upon the stretch to find means to raise money , making Diligent Enquiry into all Peoples Estates , and after forfeitures , and such as may be liable to fines and Confiscations , that so by such means they may furnish the things Necessary for the Ensuing Campaign , yet all Contrivances of this kind falling short , for that the Insolency of the mutinous Soldiers having quite drained the Exchequer , and gorg'd a great part of the Revenues belonging to the publick , the Vizier tryed one method which made him absolutely incur the Odium of the Soldiery , and finally drew on his Ruine . Certain publick Revenues were assign'd for the Soldiers which the Vizier advis'd to be stop'd and detain'd , therewith to supply the present Occasions , thus despairing the Soldiery of their Security of being satisfi'd as to their Arriers . The other Ministers propos'd that in imitation of what had been done at other times , when the Prince had labour'd under a want of money , and that he had no other way to be furnish'd , that a Tax of a Zecchin should be laid upon each firehearth of Constantinolpe , Bursia & Adrianople , nevertheless only taxing the Turks Chimneys , not those of the Christians , because that the latter having been burdened with other manifold Impositions , they had not wherewithall to answer this new Leavy . But the Mahometans , being beseig'd on all sides with Distress and Penury , did absolutely deny to assent thereunto ; because that the interruption of all Trade and Commerce with so many parts of Europe had more than a little diminish'd their Gains and Incomes , and the temerity of the mutiniers had made them contribute large Summs beyond what was customary , and besides the methods to augment the Burdens of Subjects , afflicted on all Parts , are not so easy to practise , when they do not perceive that such Courses redound to their Benefit , either in securing their Commerce , or defending their Religion , their Estates , substance and goods from Enemies and Seducers ▪ whence seeing that so many sums that had been exacted had been converted to the Benefit of a few Mutiniers , and the publick drain'd and exhausted to pamper and fatten private Persons , nay & the very Enemies of the common weal & quiet , it is not to be wonder'd at if the People assess'd did so openly declare that they neither could nor would assent thereunto . Thus was the Execution of that Decree suspended , Employing the Moneys they had in sending Men and Provisions to Negrepont & Canea , & to make the Necessary Preparations for the fitting out the Fleet , consisting in forty three Fusts and Briganties , and one Galley , which they built , Twenty of the said Vessells being now in a readiness , the speedy Equipping of the rest are recommended to the Ministers upon severe Penalties of Non-Performance , the Publique Cry being that the aforesaid forces ought to be Employ'd to secure the Black-Sea , from the pinching Invasions of the Cossacks , who continually scouring that Sea occasion'd infinite Damage , as well to Commerce , as more particularly to all Commodities that furnish'd to the Maintainance of Constantinople . And the more to quicken and spirit the People to Contributions , and to Encourage the Soldiery , the Sultan had given order for the setting up the Horses Tails , by them call'd To● , which serve for an infallible sign of the Courts taking the ●●eld , giving the Vizier also to understand that he must in Apr repair to Adrianople , reporting at the same time that he was to send & go along with the greater part of the forces into the Morea , leaving the Residue for the Defence of Belgrade , and that little of Hungary they have remaining . But the Accidents which afterwards ensued , broke to pieces these Resolutions , having given clearly to understand , that the tolerating the Insolencies of the Rebellious , without Punishment , was the flushing them still to commit greater , in hopes of coming off still at the same rate . In the mean while , the Immoderate Pretensions of those Rebellious Officers at Constantinople did daily encrease , who not contented with seeing under their feet the Sultans Supreme Authority , and that of the Principal Ministers , wresting the Government conformably to their Interest or Caprice , but would needs be continually the Abettors of Innovations , whence the Grand Signior coming at length to know that he had foster'd and nested a Serpent in his Bosom , that would at the long run deprive him of his Life , and that the any longer tolerating the temerity of those , was to shew himself utterly deprived of Authority , and in a worse Condition than his very Subjects , seeing he suffer'd himself to be rul'd at their Will and Pleasure , he determined upon making use of his Force and Power , seeing Reason had not sufficient Light to make known to those Minds , adumbrated by Contumacy , the Duty of Subjects , and the terms wherein they ought to contain themselves ; In order to which he commanded the Ianizary-Aga , that he should speedily remedy these matters , by Employing Chastisement for the Reducing to due Obedience , such as were repugnant to and would not comply with their Duty . The Aga , not willing to hazard himself in acquanting unitely all the Rebells with the supreme order , derived allso from the common Consent of the Divan , well knowing that the opposing the Resolute will of the worst People does often lead into those precipitous Resolutions , that are the Daughters of Turbulent minds , and alienated their due Obedience , he repair'd to Fetuaggi the Rebell-Leader , and shew'd him the Grand Signiors Decree , endeavouring by all the means of Persuasion to bring him to a sence of his Duty ; but he more Insolent than ever , esteem'd a note of Infamy what was only a petty Resentment in respect of his perverse Operations . This Carriage , nevertheless , very much provoking the Aga , he commanded his follower to seize the Rebell , but he thinking to find the same faint-heartedness in the Soldiers he had Experienced in the Populacy , he laid his hand to his Sabre , attempting to defend his own Liberty , by hewing his way with Iron through the Midst of those Armed Men , as resting secure that if he should have the luck to get out of their hands , and run into the Midst of his Adherents , he should easily have escap'd all manner of danger : but the effect prov'd contrary , because that being surrounded by the Aga's Soldiery , notwithstanding his Resistance , he was cut to pieces , they thus Sacrificing this Infamous Victim to the beginning of the Publick Repose . In the mean time , the notice of this being brought to the Ears of forty Rebells , the followers and Adherents of the aforesaid Fettuaggi , not being sure of their being able alone to remedy the Accident , and take their Revenge for their slain Leader , moreover suspecting that they might possibly be surprized by a greater Multitude , they ran immediately to the Meidan , where the other Rebells were assembled , informing them of what had happen'd , animating them to maintain with the most steady Resolutions & the most grievous Extremities their Authority , which was threatned with Ruine , unless they made head against and us'd their utmost Endeavours to disappoint this beginning of Depression then impending . Whereupon they resolv'd upon not giving way in the least to the Grand Signiors Resolutions , but on the contrary more than ever to assert their own Power , ever hoping that Soliman having been advanc'd by them to the Dignity of Emperour , and the Vizier made to ascend to such an Employ by the means of their Valiant Assistance , would in no wise have forgotten such a Benefit , nor have attempted any Innovation against those People , whom they knew to have as well the forces and means as the Will and Pleasure to give and take away Dignities . The meeting these Rebells being understood by the Aga , and thinking with the Grand Signiors bare name to have pacify'd all the Tumults in a Trice , and that the wanting of a Head would dishearten all the Rest from adventuring upon new Commotions , being so well farther tutor'd aud instructed , as he thought , by the so very fresh Example of Fettuaggi , he leapt on Horse-back , repair'd to the Meidan , to make them understand publickly the Grand Signiors Intentions , and the Punishments that menac'd such as should neglect the Execution of his Wills. But the Mutineers temerity did not permit his Publication of the Supreme Decrees , but perceiving him to be the Minister appointed to correct their temerarious Insolencies , without having any regard to the Personage he represented , or to the figure and Employ he bore , they laid hands to their Sabres , made a Miserable slaughter of the Aga , and of all such as went about to make any opposition , only leaving such alive as by flight found Protection from their Rage . The truth is , the Aga shew'd but little Experience , not only in Political matters , but likewise in Military , confirming by so unhappy an End the Prognostick pass'd in our foregoing Dilucidation , that he was like to prove a Minister of small Credit , having been ever penn'd up in a Serrail , far from all Intrigue and Management , and consequently void of all Experience in Affairs either Military or Civill . Wherefore he ought to have been satisfied with having surprized a Rebellious Chief in his own House , and with having sacrific'd him to the Wills of the Grand Signior , without Exposing himself to the fury of an Army in Mutiny , with the bare Attendance of a few Soldiers , well enough knowing that he should be received by the Mutineers as an Enemy , having deprived them of their Leader . But he ought after Fettuaggi's Death to have united himself to the Vizier , & with a greater nerve of men , and so in the language of main force make the Rebells acquainted with the Grand Signiors orders , without hazzarding the Supreme Authotity to an Evident Contempt , and his own Life to a Certain Peril . Be it as it will , the Rebells not accounting this Revenge sufficient to attone for the loss they had suffer'd in their Leader , their Stomach and Courage being augmented with the preseut issue , did esteem it an easy matter to accomplish their other Meditated Enterprizes . Whereupon being hurry'd with the same fury , they went to the Treasurers House to serve him in the same manner they had done the Aga ; but he being better vers'd in the course that is practis'd of flying from the Encounters of an incens'd Army , having understood the Pertinaciousness of the Soldiery , and the Butchery of the Aga , did not suffer himself to be found , meaning to give time opportunity , which probably might afford him a more secure access to his Appearance abroad . In the mean while their vexation at their being disappointed of venting their Rage upon the Person made them Exercise it upon the House , plundering it with all imaginable fury , and only leaving there the footsteps of an implacable Rage . All these Attempts reach'd the Viziers Ear , altho' being made cautious by the Perills of others , and besides knowing that the Soldiery stood not well affected to him on the score of the above-mention'd Exaction and Detainment of the Moneys appointed for their pays , and also doubting that they might suspect , that the order issued out by the Grand Signior proceeded from his Contrivance , he thought sitting to secure both his House and Person with four Companies of Ianizaries , and with three Pieces of Canon , not being willing to be taken unprovided , being sufficiently inform'd what the fnry of a Mutinous Army may attempt , and truly a Prophet of what was like to ensue ; for lie was no sooner got home and had caused his Gates and Doors to be lock'd and barr'd with all Diligence , but that the Rebells came thither , and having Surrounded the House , began to try with force to break open the Gates , those within oppos'd them with a Dauntless Courage and thus follow'd a fray and Combat , those on one side fighting as being guided by fury , and urg'd on by the hopes of getting a rich Booty , and of Extinguishing with the Viziers Bloud , whom they accounted the Abetter of all the Councills taken against them , the implacable thirst they had of Revenge , and the other side in defence of so great a Minister , and to suppress the Impiety of Rebells to their Prince . The Conflict lasted for many hours in such sort , that on both sides there remained four hundred kill'd , and in those of the Vizir's there would not have been wanting Constancy , if they had not had want of Ammunition ; but being depriv'd of Arrows , Powder and Ball , not finding any longer the means to resist so much greater a Multitude , and such too as were provided with all necessaries for a longer Engagement , and for that fearing to remain a prey to such enraged Enemies , they esteemed it a more advantageous Expedient to provide for their safety by flight , and having open'd a Gate they made all hast away , abandoning the House with their Patron and Master into the hands of implacable Enemies . The Vizir was left alone but not without Military Courage ; for seeing the Soldiers enter his House , valour did not depart his Breast , but he resolv'd to honour his Death , with a Glorious End , selling his Life at an Extraordinray Dear Rate to the Enemies , for having made a vast slaughter of them with his Sabre in his hand , being Surrounded by the Multitude , and cover'd with Wounds , he was compell'd to yield to his Destiny , falling Extinguish'd upon a Mountain of the Rebells Carkasses which he had slain with his Right hand . This Minister did manifestly give to understand that tho' Fortune had disappointed him of giving Instances of his valour by taking him out of the way before he had had Occasion of engaging in Enterprizes becoming and worthy of his figure and Character , it could not however deprive him of the means of making his worth known at least in Death , thus curing the World of the Conceit that he had not given any token of an Experienc'd Person . And the Truth is , that Dignities acquired by infamous means , do often come to terminate in an end much of the like nature , and those very Persons that are the founders of a Fortune acquired by unjust courses , are often also the Origine of the Ruine of those very People whom they Exalt to the first Honours , and that a Dignity which has not for its Basis Merit and Honour , does easily meet with a Fall , as it easily got its Advancement . Be it as it will , the Vizier being thus slain , the Soldiers after having vented their Rage upon his Body , vented their Avarice upon his Goods , plundering his House and carrying away all that was in it . Nor did here their fury stop , but they Exerciz'd their Avidity upon the Deceas'ds very Women , despoiling them of all they had , and finally the very little Sons of the Dead Vizier were the Innocent Reliques consign'd to the unextinguishable Covetousness of those Perfidious Wretches , seeing that having taken them from the House , they dragg'd them to the Market Place , and at the Price of three hundred Piastres sold to a Turk those that were the Sons of the First Minister of so great a Monarchy . Nor ended here the Military Insolence , but gradually with their Wicked Actions the Rebells boldness being augmented , they Proceeded to Exercise their Barbarities upon the Grand Siguior's own Servants , and having the force in their hands , they had a Design in their minds of putting him himself to a most Enormous Torture : In the mean while they kill'd two of their Emperours Querries , as also his Capigilar , leaving no means untry'd for the Establishing their Usurp'd Authority upon the common Ruine . The Grand Signior being overwhelm'd with so many unhappy Events , void of all Prospect of remedying the present Insolencies , seeing those means , which he had made use of to give Peace to his State , had produc'd so much the more pernicious Tempests , he was utterly deprived of Councill . He had often thoughts of assembling Men that he might with force oppose the stubborness of the Rebellious Soldiers : but as he had neither the Heart to make himself their head , nor the means to make himself obey'd , he laid aside this form as useless and impracticable . Then he was enclin'd to convene the Divan , in it to consult about the means of repressing so intollerable a Malep●rtness , but considering that the Greater part of the Ministers were either taken from him by the Rebells Swords , or distanc'd through the fear of Incurring the like unhappy Exits , neither did he strike in with this Course . But at the long Run suffering himself to be guided more by fear than Courage , and fixing upon the Vilest of all Remedies , namely his Inclination and the Dictates of his own Genius , he caus'd publickly to be Expos'd out of his Serrail the Standard of Mahomet , causing to be proclaim'd , that all those who had any spark of Religion and Obedience should repair ●rm●d under the Ensign of the Great Prophet without any Delay , in not doing of which they should be esteemed Rebels to God and their Prince , and that they ought openly to take up Arms against the Mutineers , and with their Blood Extinguish that fire of Rebellion , which those Persidious Wretches did more th●n ever endeavour to spread in Constantinople . The truth is , this Resolution taken by the Grand Signior was that of an unexperienc'd Person , meaning that Religion should serve for a Buckler to defend his own Authority , and to secure himself from the forces of the Mutinous Soldiery . The Relying alone upon the Law when the juncture requires the Chastisement of Rebells arm'd and at war with the force and Power of Justice , and incapable of being reduc'd to a sense of their Duty , otherwise than by the Dint of Iron and open Resistance , is to shew , not the Spirit of a warlike Prince , but , the faint-heartedness of a timerous Religious . If Soliman could not do , like Semiramis , who only with her Royall Presence and with Powerfull words was able to interupt the Course of a most furious Insurrection made by the People of Babylon , because that being a new and green Prince , not advanc'd for his Merits nor in vogue for his Enterprizes , nor having experience or Address in Affairs , but lifted up upon the Throne by Tumultuous Squardrons upon the bare consideration of his Birth , he had not the Credit to suppress such Sturdy Commotions , he ought at least to have conven'd all the Militia , and arm'd men that had no hand in the tumults and were not infected with Rebellion , and with open force make head against the Mutiniers , making them experience , that as they had judg'd him worthy of the Crown , he had a Head to sustain it , and a Spirit to exert his Dignity . Yet this shift of Setting up the Standard , dictated to him by a Desperate necessity , did so far avail him , that if it did not serve to make him known for a Prince of High Mettle , it at least suffic'd from the Military Insolences to secure both his Life and the Imperial Crown : Because that upon the bare sight of this Standard , an innumerable Body of arm'd men got together , and thorough all the Burroughs , Wards , Quarters and Serails of Constantinople the People flock'd in arms , by which Concourse the Grand Signior being animated , he caused Proclamation to be made , that the Soldiers of the Insurrection were Rebells to the Prince and the Laws , and by Consequence Worthy of the Severest Punishments , and that therefore every man of them ought to be sought out with exact Diligence , to make them with their Lives pay th● penalty of so many slaughters as they had committed in the Princes Ministers and Servants , and to give Life to the Publick Peace by utterly extinguishing those Contumacious Enemies of the universal Wellfare . Their Temerity was become Intollerable , and if this Pestilence had not been quite rooted out , it would quickly have infected all the Country with evident Danger of the totall fall of the Ottoman Monarchy . These Words seem'd a Trumpet that reviv'd in all Peoples minds the Desire of running precipitously to the slaughter of the Mutiniers , Insomuch that in a Trice the People were seen with their Swords in their hands to search the most hidden Recesses and most concealed sculking Places , that so they might not leave any seed of so pernicious a Brood . Thus were they cut to pieces in all parts of the City , without any distinction of Degree or Person , having no hopes of any Refuge , seeing the Grand Signior had caus'd Proclamation to be made , that all those should be judg'd Guilty of High-Treason , and worthy of Death , that should give Aid , Harbour , or in any wise defend or conceal the foresaid Rebells , so as to impede the Correction due for the Crimes they had committed ; By which means was rooted out in a little time the Plant of this Contumacious Brood , which from a despicable seed had in a trice grown to such a Height , as to shade the whole Monarchy with its Branches . A Ring-Leader of the Mutineers being surprized by the Loyal Party , he would have redeemed his Life and Liberty by disbursing three hundred Purses ; but he offered what was no longer his own , seeing the bare declaration of a Rebell did deprive him of whatever he possess'd , which devolv'd to the Imperial Fiscal and Excheequer , and besides these were Moneys pinch'd in sacking the Houses of the Grand Vizier and Treasurer , thus he only restored part of the Booty , and not paid out of his own stock a Redemption for his Life . Therefore was he also strangled , and his Carcass thrown with others into the Publick Place , Yet durst they not do the same to the Mufti , seeing the Reverence to the Sacerdotal Degree did not permit them to embrue their hands in his Sacred Blood , notwithstanding he had been no small Abettor of the Commotions of the Mutinous Soldiery ; but they contented themselves with deposing him from his Office , esteeming it a greater Punishment than Death it self , seeing he must ever live a private Man , with the tormenting & infamous Remembrance of his having been deposed from his Dignity by having fomented the Insurrections of Men against their Lawfull Prince . The Mufti his Predecssor was restored to that Post , and in the Place of the slain Vizier the Grand Signior put the Nisangi Pacha , pro Interim , being a man almost decreped , but of great Merit , and this possibly to honour his Death , and to have time to provide another , the Importance of such a Dignity not allowing of its being left vacant . In the mean while , the Grand Signior laid mightily to heart the Death of the Vizier that was slain by the Mutineers , as well because he owed all his Greatness to his Procurement , as that by his Death he had given signal Instances that he would have prov'd a Valiant General , if the Barbarousness of his Soldiers had not nipt off the flower of their conceived Hopes . Wherefore to remunerate in part his good service , He caus'd immediately Proclamation to be made , that whoever had , held , or knew the Place , whither the Goods of the said Vizier were removed by the Rebells upon the Plunder of his House , they should within the term of three Days bring them or declare them to the Imperial Chamber upon pain of Death to the Transgressors , commanding that the same thing should be done with the Treasurers Goods . This Proclamation was of great use , for almost all the Goods were restored , and about thirty Greeks and Armenians , that brought not in the Goods they had bought , were stak'd . The Grand Signior caus'd all these recover'd Goods of the Viziers to be restored to his Sons , having had them again from the Turks , who had bought them . Constantinople seem'd to breath again after the Oppression of so many Tyrants , but was under Apprehensions of being tormented with new Impositions , because that the Rebells in the Sacking of the aforesaid Houses , had Seiz'd on fifty thousand Purses of Reals , which they had divided among themselves , and these being to have supply'd to the War , the Treasury was quite drained . And what likewise augmented the suspicion of new Disturbances was the answer given by the Pacha of Natolya , of whom the Divan having required Succours in the Grand Signior's name , he freely answer'd , that he knew no other Sultan than the deposed one , and that if they did not replace him upon his Throne , he would come with all his forces to Constantinople , and joyning with the Christians make slaughter of all the Turks ; During these Transactions the Christians have been much better treated by the Turks than they were ever heretofore , nay the Divan has issued out a Proclamation , that if any Turk should upon whatever Occasion molest any Christian , the Artizans should be bound under the severest penalties to rise up against the Offender . I suppose the Turks do this , hoping by the means of these good Treatments to facilitate with the Confederated Princes the attainment of the so much desired Peace ; seeing that to this effect they had design'd to send a Minister to those Princes to require it , though upon understanding the small Disposition they have thereunto , had made them suspend the Mission . Besides they do this to recompence by some Acknowledgement the good intention of the Christians themselves and the Desire they have shewn for the publick Repose , seeing that in their Quarter of Galata they had kill'd about eighteen Rebells , not allowing any Harbour to the Mutiniers in the Places of their Habitation . These are all sufficient Causes whence to deduce the effect of the aforesaid better usage ; but some look upon as the most essential one , the great Zeal and Assistance of the Most Christian King's Ambassador in those parts , who with Singular and ever Memorable Earnestness to second the good Intentions of his Sovereign , omits no manner of means untryed to procure Repose , which has been so often interrupted and deny'd them ; and Employs the utmost force of Authority to acquire for them still greater advantages in what concerns the usage of those that live free , but with incomparable Exemplification trys all forms to get out of the Chains of Slavery those Miserable Christians , that live oppressed under its weighty and insupportable Yoke , and accordingly now lately he has dispatcht from those parts into Countrys of the Christian Religion about six hundred or upwards of Slaves that were the followers of Christ , and thus freed out of Servitude . No small augmentation to the Afflictions of Constantinople has been occasion'd by a Fire accidentally kindled in that City about the same time , having reduc'd to Ashes thousands of Houses , and what more especially regards the Publick damage is the Custom-house which was also Subjected to the fire , Abundance of Commodities being thereby consumed , and which belong'd not only to Turkish , but also to Christian Merchants . But what is further worthy of note is the advice brought to the Port , that the Soldiery that was sent back to their Quarters being risen under a Rebellious Leader , do now ravage and infest the Countrys hostilely , seizing on all that offers it self to their hands ; having lost all respect for the orders issued out by the Grand Signior , they resolve no longer to pay any Military Obedience , but freely to scour those Territories and Countreys , living upon the means , Product and Incomes of those wretched Inhabitants . This is Exactly the present state of Affairs of the Ottoman Monarchy , whence , whoever shall minutely Examine all the Circumstances of the fore-related Events will have occasion to deduce the Necessary Consequence ; that the Port this Year is manifestly reduc'd to an impossibility of making any Resistance against the Confederated Arms , as being utterly depriv'd of Soldiers vers'd in Martial Exercises , some being gone to their own Habitations in Asia , others in Mutinying and in an Insurrection in the Country , the Vizier made for form sake , being old and unable to undergo the fatigues of Travelling and of War. The Ministers either suspected , or unexpert . The Prince in no wise fix'd in the Throne . The Factions more vigorous than ever . The Deposed Mahomet not only fomented by his Adherents in Constantinople , but also by those Abroad . His Son esteemed by many , and look'd upon as the Rising Sun , born to disperse the dark Shades of so many unhappy Successes . Soliman now reigning , not only deprived of the ability to six & settle his fortune , but likewise Impotent to rule it . The Exchequer Exhausted in such manner that there seems not any possibility of restoring it to a state of contributing to such various Expences as are required , because that the People being burden'd by so many impositions they have undergone to pay the tumultuous Soldiery , and besides compell'd by the Rebells to unjust and Exorbitant Contributions , there seems not the least prospect of their being able to contribute the least assistance to the present Exigencies . In short all Concurrs to better the cause of God ; Insomuch that if Christian Princes minding the Benefit they may reap from the present Conjunctures , did not spare any means to make notable Acquisitions , they might not only procure the Augmentation of their States , but also the Encrease and Extention of the Catholique Faith. FINIS . 
A54763	----	In memory of Our Late Most Gracious Lady, Mary, Queen of Great-Britain, France, and Ireland a poem / by John Phillips. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1695 Approx. 10 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54763 Wing P2086 ESTC R1621 11876273 ocm 11876273 50258 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54763) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50258) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 505:8) In memory of Our Late Most Gracious Lady, Mary, Queen of Great-Britain, France, and Ireland a poem / by John Phillips. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 10 p. Printed for John Harris ..., London : 1695. Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Mary -- II, -- Queen of England, 1662-1694 -- Poetry. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion IN MEMORY Of Our Late Most Gracious Lady , MARY Queen of Great-Britain , France , and Ireland . A POEM , By Mr. IOHN PHILLIPS . LONDON , Printed for Iohn Harris , at the Harrow in the Poultry . MDCXCV . IN MEMORY Of Our Late Most Gracious Lady , MARY Queen of Great-Britain , France , and Ireland . I Would begin , but know not how ; The Subject's Great , tho' vail'd with Sorrow now ; Since Death , that only cou'd , Has lay'd the Illustrious Theam so low . We grant howe're Distinction still in Dust ; For future Ages , as a Sacred Trust , In Veneration to the Grave allow'd , With Sumptuous Mausoleum's hid , it lies ; Yet still the poor unhappy Mortal dyes . Unfortunate Race of proud Mankind ! By an eternal Doom , o're all Impartial , To a few Years of crazy Life confin'd , And only in their primitive Dust Immortal ▪ As if no other way could have been found For Nature's Wheel to have turn'd round . When this same Nature , that in Time's Abyss Long had drowsie lain before , Rouz'd into Action by a greater Power , First warmly brooded o're the Pregnant Mass , And all the World was perfeted in Man , She Step-dame turn'd , and would not Life bequeath , But on strict Terms to have it back again . That was but lent , She cry'd , and streight ordain'd Her grand Plenipotentiary Death , Her Debt with utmost Rigour to demand . Nor Prince nor Peasant spare , said she , No Age or Sex , no Title or Degree . And least the Task should be too great for One , Gave him a Train of numerous Diseases , From which in vain the silly Fugitives run To lonely Rocks , and distant Wildernesses . Death searches every Nook and every Hole From the Antarctic to the Artic Pole , And the magnificent Structure , Body and Mind , First rais'd by Gods in Council join'd , In dreary Darkness lays , tho' we are safely bold , And hope , we shall once more a brighter Light behold . To these harsh Laws subjected fell Great-Britain's QUEEN ; Too good to Dye , had She not mortal been . The Phoenix of Her Age : Thrice happy I 'le , If such another from her Funeral Pile Might have renew'd the Glory of her Throne . Let Ancient Story lasting Altars raise To Chast Zenobia , or Drusilla's Praise ; Drusilla , She who by Augustus side Iove's Themis and his Metis both supply'd ; Let Modern Records tell who loud Encomiums won For single Vertues found distinct in every One ; Here Heav'ns Perfections all in full Resort Kept both a Sacred and a Splendid Court. All center'd in our QUEEN , Earth's Admiration , As many Stars make up one Constellation . She was the Goddess in her towring Sphere , The rest but Demi-Goddesses to Her. The Best of Queens , the Best of Wives , the Best of Friends ; For Friend and Wife , if not reciprocall , The Tye dissolves , and the Relation ends . Thus piously instructed , She , When the Chief Master of the Family , ( A Family no less then Three wide Realms , And yet but one continu'd Houshold all ) Waging Just Wars abroad , exchang'd soft Ease And Conjugal Delights for Martial Toil , To stem th' Invasion that all Europe overwhelms , She , the Indulgent Mistress , all the while , At home kept all in Order , all in Peace ; And the vast Houshold liv'd releas'd from Fear , O'reshadow'd by her Providential Care. While She , from Dover-Cliffs to distant Thule , By One Obeying , Millions learnt to Rule . Like Cynthia thus , the farther from her Sun , She still more brightly and more dazling shon . Had Salem's King , for Wisdom so Renown'd , Been now alive , with all his Glory Crown'd , Excited by her Fame alone , He would have left Iudea's pompous Throne , And to this Wonder of her Sex have pay'd The Visit which to Him Sabaean Princess made . Dost thou not , Nature , now repent Thy Primitive Rigour , and Austere Decree That blinded Fate , and laid that strict Restraint On Death inexorable made by Thee ? Permit Us to accuse thy Conduct , Thou That to Harts and Ravens odly dost allow Long Useless Life ; but to a narrow Span Hast warp'd the Days of the World 's Sov'raign , Man. In this more cruel , and th' unequal Friend Of thy lov'd Darling dire Mortality , That still the Vertuous soonest meet their End. The gaudy Morsels they , cull'd out by Death , His Tast to pamper and perfume his Breath When over-glutted with the vulgar Fry. Yet Heaven is surely their design'd Abode : Could there no other way to Heaven be found , But through the Grave , and Darkness under Ground ? 'T is somewhat hard , if Mortals might complain , And Man be the inferiour World's proud Sovereign , That Nature should his Kingship thus controul , For him to want the poor Prerogative , That Vertue should not always Vice out-live . Soonest ! — and that renews our just Complaints , That Heav'n shou'd be so eager that abounds in Saints . Had she prolong'd her Days , and walk'd with God , Or in a fiery Chariot shun'd the common Road , We never had repin'd To see th' Anointed Union broke : But to be swept away among the Vulgar Croud , That makes us ' wail the fatal Stroke , And want of Heav'ns Exemption , twice so kind , Yet all the while to only Two confin'd . But whether rambles my Enthusiast Muse ? Oh — Grief 's a Phrensie , frequently trranscends Those Bounds which only Rapture can excuse , And oft in vain with Fate and Heav'n contends . Thus argu'd the Chaldean deep and loud , Tho' otherwise for Patience so renown'd , When by the Burthen of his Anguish bow'd . Then Grief retire , thou hast thy Tribute duly paid ; The rest in Annual Rites must be display'd ; For when a Saint like ours to Heaven ascends , Grief stays below , — And only Joy the Seraphim attends . Our Tears on Earth to certain Measures are restrain'd ; For should our long excessive Moans , Like Niobe congeal us into Stones , No Mortal yet e'er saw restor'd What the relentless Grave has once devour'd . Thus Thirty Days — In Moab's Plains by their loud Grief detain'd The Sacred Host of Israel wept When their Divine Commander slept , And God conceal'd Their Captain , and his Friend . — 'T is but Self Int'rest still With grudging Tears to wail Her endless Gain , While only we deplore the Loss our Selves sustain . For now , — Our Saint e're this , in Bright Seraphick State , Has made her publick Entry through the Iaspar Gate , Where she through Walls of vast Transparent Gems , And Starry Lustre into Tresses curl'd , Looks down with Pity on the Wicked World. Vouchsafe a Royal Saint an Apotheosis So just to be allow'd as this . For why should gaudy Superstition claim The Keys of Paradice , And real Sanctity not have the same , Or Greater Privilege to Canonize ? She wore a Crown on Earth ; Who can surmise That she should lose her Crown by going to Heav'n ? Nor would the Question be too closely driv'n , Where the Effects of Prayer to Saints would fall , Should Rome on Hers , we on Our MARY call . Now Towring Muse descend again , And to the cheared World explain Th' Enigma of our Joy and Sorrow Subaltern , So blended , that at once we both Rejoice and Mourn . We thought th' Omnipotent at first provok'd , And our Disaster with Impatience brook'd , Britannia languishing with Arms across To see her Welfare weltring in her Loss . But then , Fresh Joys Arriv'd , Finding Victorious WILLIAM still surviv'd , And to his Peoples Hearts more closely joyn'd , By New Espousals of Address'd Affection . Britannia then , — Acknowledg'd Heav'n less Angry and more Kind , The more she stood in need of Heav'ns Protection . Long may He be , still Arm'd in our Defence , The Care of wakefull Providence . And long may be his Martial Flame The Terrour of proud Bourbon's Hated Name . For Mighty Works , and Wonderfull Events , Heav'n still prepares Heroic Instruments . Him all Men grant the Instrument prepar'd , And by the Gallick Titan only fear'd . Should His Support , by Prudence Fortunate , Once fail the Common Cause , I dread the Fate Of Europe all into Confusion hurl'd , Like the Unbolted Frame of the Dissolving World. But This our Hope , and This our Joy sustains , Tho' MARY's gone , yet WILLIAM still remains . FINIS . 
A54771	----	New news from Tory-land and Tantivy-shire Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1682 Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 6 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54771 Wing P2095 ESTC R1622 11876278 ocm 11876278 50260 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54771) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50260) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 505:9 or 873:3) New news from Tory-land and Tantivy-shire Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 9 p. Printed for S. Norman, London : 1682. Ascribed to Phillips by Wing. This item can be found at reels 505:9 and 873:3. Reproduction of originals in Bodleian Library and Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Great Britain -- History -- Charles II, 1660-1685 -- Anecdotes. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-11 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2004-11 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion New News FROM TORY-LAND , &c. GReat News from Whitehall — Great News from Samm's Coffee-House — Great News from the Pall-mall — Run ye Rogues — Run ye Whores — The Rat-Catcher's just going off — Cancaro — What an Age do we live in ? What! will ye ne're ha done , Gentlemen ? Here 's — Noise and Din , Clamour and Fury , Raging and Storming , Hoyday ! — Here 's Thou Fool , and Thou Knave Thou Rogue , and Thou Rascal Thou ly'st , and Thou ly'st Hei-go-mad ! — Tantivishire is all in a flame with Thunder and Lightning — Anathema's and Excommunications ; — Tory-land is so dismally harrass'd with Tempests and Hurricanes , that a Dissenter can hardly keep his Hat upon his Head , or his Cloak upon his Shoulders . — Here are Your Thompsons , Your Prologue-makers , and Ballad-makers , Your Heraclitus's , and Roger's , and the Devil and all — Nay , here 's Conjuring too , downright Conjuring in the Language of Trithemius , Tory , Whigg , Fanatick , Tantivyman — Come up here i' the name of Sando●phon , and Adarniel , Hautzeviv , and Tzautzeviv — And what 's the meaning of all this ? For a Company of Poltrons , and Paper-wasters , to get money , and disorder the Kingdom . Who would not be the Danae of an Observator to be courted in Golden Showres , and all to please the wanton Fancies , or Politick . Ends of some sort of People with the Harlotry of his prostituted Pen. Imprimis Received l. s.   By a Note into Lumbardstreet , Guineys 100 00 00 Item , For burlesquing the Popish plot , and the King's Evidence from the Lords in the Tower 050 00 00 Item , For defending the Protestant Faith better than the Sons of the Church can do , from Cambridge 250 00 00 Item , More from Oxford 200 00 00 Item , More from Norwich 170 00 00 Item , More from Salisbury 090 00 00 Item , More from Bristol 100 00 00 Item , More by Madam Johannas yearly Tribute 150 00 00 Summa totalis 960 00 00 Now mingle all this Money well together , and tell me whether any Vintner or Coffee-man , Mercer , Taylor , or Haberdasher , be so quick-sighted in this Town , as to pick out the Popish from the Protestant Money ? or if he should , whether any would be so scrupulous , as to refuse it for the sake of the two Cross Scepters ? But what 's the pretence all this while ? The fairest in the World , even Loyalty it self ; which by virtue of a certain Crimson Charm , these State-Pharisees would so engross to themselves , as if all true Loyalty were confin'd within the Circle of a Scarlet Stayband . Had it not been for an Observator and an Heraclitus , Heav'n knows what had become of the Kingdom ere this . Had not they stood in the Gap , and rais'd monstrous Plots , horrid Contrivances , desperate Inventions , and providentially discover'd them , when they had done ; had not they Erected vast Bulky Piles of Surmises , Leviathan Fears and Jealousies all over the Nation , and then pull'd 'em down again , the Land had been overwhelm'd with Fanaticism , and delug'd with Liberty and Property . God forbid Gentlemen , but Faction and Disloyalty should be punish'd with the utmost Rigour of the Law ; But for the Loyalty of the greatest part of the Nation , and most considerable for Wealth and Trade , to be blasted and tainted with the venomous breath of Mercenary Scandal and Reproach , what is this but the greatest Disloyalty i' the World , to unrivet the Affections of the People , and Eloin their Allegiance from their Soveraign ? Certainly , were Disloyalty such a General Crime , it could not be the bleating of a Feeble Observator , or a Shatter-brain'd Heraclitus , that could stem the Torrent of Universal Resolution . But to come to the point ; if Disobedience to the King's Law be an Act of Disloyalty , as no man will presume to deny , I find none more guilty then these Primroses of Loyalty themselves . For the King 's Positive Law enjoyns , That no person or persons shall presume maliciously to call or alledge of , or object against any other person or persons , any Name or Names , or other words of Reproach any way tending to revive the Memory of the late Differences , or the Occasions thereof . But contrary to this Law , now , put but your Nose into any Company , What 's such a one ? A Whigg , G — dam him . What 's such a one ? A Fan. G — rot him . What 's such a one ? A Tantivy-man . That 's well , He 's one of Us. What 's such a one ? A Tory. The Devil take me , if I did not think him an honest Fellow by his looks . Sbud , these Whigs , and these Fans , they have different Faces from other men . Then cries one , Would they were all at the bottom of the Sea. Another wishes for a Discreet Plague , to separate the Sheep from the Goats . Now what is this , but to embroile common Friendship and humane Society ? which once unhing'd , farewel Law ; and farewel all Allegiance . Yet upon this Foundation the Observator rears the Fabrick of all his weekly Ribble-rabble . Whiggs he will have , and Whiggs he must have , and who can blame him ? For , quo he , no Whigg , no Guiney . This King in his Proclamation against vicious , debauched and prophane Persons , dared in the 12th Year of his Reign , is pleased to declare his Royal Will and Pleasure to this effect There are likewise another sort of men , of whom we , have heard much , and are sufficiently ashamed , who spend their time in Taverns , Tipling houses and Debauches , giving no other Evidence of their affection to Us , BUT IN DRINKING OUR HEALTH , and inveighing against all others , who are not of their own dissolute Temper ; and who in truth have more DISCREDITED OUR CAUSE , by the License of their Manners and Lives , than they could ever advance it by their Affection or Courage . We hope that they will hereafter become Examples of Sobriety and Virtue . For the more effectual reforming these men who are a Discredit to the Nation , and unto any Cause they pretend to favour and wish well to , We require all Mayors , Sheriffs , Justices , to be vigilant in their Prosecution , &c. But in contempt of all this , 't is now , Dam me won't ye drink the Kings Health ? Dam me drink it , or I 'le throw the Glass in your Face ▪ Now it being certain that Loyalty does not consist in drinking Tavern Healths , it follows then , that the Peek is not between Loyalty and Disloyalty , but between Huzzah-Loyalty , ranting , roaring , damming , swearing Loyalty , and sober , serious , solid , and temperate Loyalty . And that 's the Loyalty that 〈…〉 the King and Kingdom , though there were 〈…〉 drop of Claret i' the Nation . His Majesty himself was pleased to declare in His Gracious Declaration about Ecclesiastical Affairs , p. 5 ▪ ( and the sayings of Princes are not without a coercive Awe among prudent Persons ) That while he was in Holland , he was attended by many grave and learned Ministers from England , who were lookt upon as the most able and principal Assertors of the Presbyterian Opinions , and to Our great satisfaction and comfort found them persons full of affection to Us , of Zeal for the Church and State , and neither Enemies to Episcopacy or Liturgy , but modestly to desire such alterations in either , as without shaking the Foundations might best allay the present Distempers , Sir Mathew Hales left them this Encomium , Many of the Presbyterians had merited highly in the business of the Kings Restauration , and at least deserved , that the terms of Conformity should not be made stricter than they were before the War. One would think now that the King might be believed . No : if the King don't understand his own business , the Observator and Heraclitus do : For Mr , L'Estrange confidently avers in one of his late Observators , that the * Presbyterians had no hand in bringing in the King , ( 't is a wonder he did not deny his own name , and shift off Tonge that way , and so have spar'd his silly Shammer shamm'd . ) Therefore the Presbyterians are Traitors , and Fanatick ▪ and the Kingdom is to be dispeopl'd with their utter Extirpation . What a loyal Orlando Furioso is this , thus to tilt against the publick Declaration and Judgment of the King himself , and the Oracle of his Laws . As if he were a Guide to the supream Magistrates of the Kingdom , as well as the inferiour Clergy . After all this Gentlemen , pray consider Whether they that will not be confin'd to any Laws , Proclamations or Declarations themselves , are proper Persons to vent their Buffonry against the pretended Disloyalty of others . But what 's become of the Popish Plot all this while ? Oh! The Triumvirate of Whigg-hunters are better employed , than to mouth against that Cerberus has had a Sopp , and is engag'd to be quiet ; Nay he does as good as confess , he believes nothing of it . For in his Observator , N. 92. says Whigg , You alwaies take the pains as much as in you lies to hide the Plot , To which Tory replies , Not the tenth part upon my faith , as I have done to find it out . Truly 't was pity a man should be so be Be-Gadbury'd in his old Age. Surely never did so wonderful a Cataract befilm the Eyes of Mortal Man before ▪ He could find out a blind Plot in a Meal-Tub , but could not see a Plot that was visible to the whole Nation . However since His Majesty and his two Houses of Parliament had found it out , he might have had so much manners , as to have believ'd his Prince , and his Acts of publick Justice , as well as the Lords i' the Tower. The to'ther's a profest Papist , and he swears there is no Popish Plot , upon the Credit of Madam Baud , and her Condemn'd-Fellow-Jayl-Birds in Newgate . An ill requital of delay'd Justice , For such Tenants at Will , to feed the Press of a hungry Varlet with weekly Lies , and Forgeries . The third a Pusillanimous Mortal , that lies snarling at present only against the Evidence , hoping to come in for a snack in the next Tower Guinnies , when they shall think him to have credit , or wit enough to serve their turn . And these are the Loyal Persons , that one would have thought might have chosen a Nobler Theme , to have decry'd the reiterated Periuries , Forgeries , and Subornations of the Papists ; to have turn'd their fury against the Scandalous and publick Vindications of their Treasons and Conspiracies , to have maintain'd their Soveraigns Honour , and the Justice of his Supreme Courts of Judicature , and not to leave both him and them exposed to the malevolent inferences and impudent insinuations of his Capital Enemies . Now what says that Backbiter in Ordinary to the Devil , Heraclits ? E'ne what you please , 't is such a pitiful Wight , that he is scarce worth taking notice of . He may serve for some Zany to a Mountebank , to jest off Medicines for the Tooth-ach to the Rabble in Southwark . Or else couple him with some blind Fidler , and send 'em together about the Country to go snips at Wakes and Hobnayle Weddings . For , Faith , Wine 's ill bestowed upon him here in London , that does not deserve the weekly Wages of a Peny-post-man , for a Months Brain-Work ; were he only meer Fool he might deserve Commiseration , and the reversion of a Changelings Place in some Country Alms-House ; but the Serpenting Mixture being more predominant , he cannot expect it . However some good Friend of his would do well to advise him to give off in time , before his snuff quite stink . As for Mr. All-Conceit . alias Mr. Steers man of the Hen-peckt Fregate , most men are of opinion , he had better have stock't his Shop with the Saints Everlasting Rest , then thus to the shame of his Trade , and the publick disturbance , to run every day Scaperloytering after a Penniworth of Lowsy Farce , and the restless , and Pragmatical Employment of being a Silly Libeller , and Common Accuser ; an Employment more fit for a Rascally Informer , or some such Retainer to the Gallows . An Employment from which , such Revolters from their Substantial Livelyhoods , can in the end expect no other kindness , then a Recommendation to the Under-Beadles Place i' the Company , or to be Tip-Staff'd over the water to keep a Coffee-House i' the ●●les . And now what may the world think of these People , that so tamely , and so easily surrender their belief , and admiration to the Charms of Quirk and Quibble ; or that can be so blind , as not to perceive with what different aims from their Pretensions they drive on their designs , and that so apparently , that there need no more then the Flashes of their own fury to discover ' em . In the first place there is that Wizard , Gadburies Astrological Jargonrie , Printed for the Loyal Company of Stationers themselves , stufft from the beginning to the end with nothing but lies , and Popish Vindication ; and yet neither the Loyal Observator , nor the Loyal Heraclitus take any notice of it . Here are Castle mains Memento's , and Staffords Memoires , publickly Printed , and Sold by Protestant Booksellers , to the dishonour , and scandal of the King and Parliament , and yet neither the Loyal Observator , nor the Loyal Heraclitus take any cognizance of it . The Journeymen Prologue and Epilogue-makers openly deride the Discoveries of Heaven in the Play Houses , and yet neither the Loyal Observator , nor the Loyal Heraclitus have one word to say . There is hardly any publick Meeting or Assembly of the People , wherein the bold Emissaries of Pope and Devil do not barefac'd act their parts , and make the Grand Plot ▪ and intended Parricide of Gods anointed , the subject of their merry Sarcasms , and the Theams of their Philistine Paeans . Popery struts along the Streets openly by Noon-day Sun , and Treason sneers ye in The Face , and twits ye with the effusion of Holy Martyrs Blood. Can the Sons of the Church of England so Passively hear the Reformed Religion abroad , and all its pious Professors derided , and their Reputation blasted by a Vermin of a Figure-Caster , and not give one gentle admonition to their Great Guide , to bestow one cast of his Office upon so infamous an Enormity ? These considerations should cause a Recoil of over hasty and passionate thoughts ; which , were they seriously fixt upon the present Confusions of the Nation , it is impossible that the Libels , the Rimes , the Ballads , the Pamphlets , that at such an unfortunate Conjuncture overflow the Nation , and spit their quotidian Venome against the Dissenters , so numerous a Body of the Kings Liege People , and so deeply engaged by all the ties of common Interest , to oppose , and with all their might withstand the Enemies of their Prince and Soveraign , Defender of their Faith , as their own and the Capital Enemies of the Kingdoms Quiet , should ever be imagined to be the inventions of Loyalty , or that the Owners and Contrivers should be guilty but of so much Allegiance , as will outweigh a Mustard Seed , let their pretences be never so zealous or high-flown . The Romish Policy keeps to no Maxim of Christ so close , as to that of a Divided House cannot stand ; Nor have the Roman Pontiffs studied the Arts of National disturbance so long , but that they well know , that the Protestant Interest in England is not to be destroyed but by Self-destruction , which they who under pretence of Loyalty make it their business to farther advance , it were to be wish'd they would keep their Loyalty to themselves , or practise it in some other Country , under some more undeserving Prince . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54771-e10 * See the King's Speech to the Lords July , 27. 1660. for hastning the Act of Oblivion . 
A54772	----	A poem on the coronation of King James II and his royl [sic] consort Queen Mary Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1685 Approx. 2 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 2 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54772 Wing P2095A ESTC R37083 16206150 ocm 16206150 105076 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54772) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 105076) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1599:3) A poem on the coronation of King James II and his royl [sic] consort Queen Mary Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1 sheet (2 p.) Printed for J. Walthoe ..., London : [1685] Caption title. Imprint from colophon. Date of publication suggested by Wing. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng James -- II, -- King of England, 1633-1701 -- Poetry. Mary, -- of Modena, Queen, consort of James II, King of England, 1658-1718 -- Poetry. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-07 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A POEM ON THE CORONATION OF King JAMES II. AND His Royl Consort QUEEN MARY . By John Phillips Gent. Student of Lincoln's-Inn . AT last the early Birds with tunfuell Lays Proclaim'd the solemn , welcomest of Days , But Phoebus rose not yet , since Charles was gone , With whom he sate , he kept his Mourning on : ( Charles ! Heaven's glad Burthen now , and justest Pride , Who sits Enthron'd next his Great Father's side . ) And now the weeping Skies with Clouds o'erspread , Paid its last Tribute to the Royal Dead , The Sun broke out with an unusual Ray , And with new Beams bedect the smiling Day ; He saw th' incircled Heads , and darting down Blest with a Lambent heat the Dazling Crown . He saw the Pomp , and Blushing did confess In adding Lustre , He receiv'd no less . The weighty Emblem of a Crown more bright Lifts the Great Bearer higher from our sight ; Adds an Eighth Genius to the brighter Heav'n , But Fixst , not wandring as the other Sev'n . Such is his Valour , and his vast Success , You 'd think him more a Man , were they but less ; But onely Gods ( like Mighty JAMES ) are They Who know no Limits to their Earthly sway . But since to paint Perfection we cant ' raise Our Thoughts to equal height , he 's less'ned by our Praise : On then , Great Prince ; with one united Ray The Sun and you together Rule the Day ; While your Fair Consort dect with Paler Light Successively with Phoebe Rules the Night . Blest with such rich Advantages as these A JAMES and MARY , Victory and Peace ; How Happy Albion do'st thou seem to be ! Thy Fate is to be envied ev'n by Thee . FINIS . LONDON , Printed for J. Walthoe at the Black Lion in Chancery Lane , over against Lincoln's-Inn . 
A54773	----	A reflection on our modern poesy an essay. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1695 Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54773 Wing P2096 ESTC R31796 12257525 ocm 12257525 57575 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54773) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 57575) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1510:27) A reflection on our modern poesy an essay. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. Phillips, John. [4], 8 p. Printed for W. Rogers in London and F. Hicks in Cambridge, London : 1695. In verse. Attributed to Phillips by Wing and NUC pre-1956 imprints. Sometimes attributed to a John Phillips of Cambridge--NUC. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng English poetry -- History and criticism. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-07 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-11 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2004-11 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A REFLECTION ON OUR Modern POESY . AN ESSAY . — Fuit haec Sapientia quondam , Publica privatis secernere , sacra profanis : Concubitu prohibere vago ; dare jura maritis ; Oppida moliri ; leges incidere ligno ; Sic honor & nomen divinis Vatibus atque Carminibus venit . — Hor. de Arte Poet. LONDON : Printed for W. Rogers in London ; and F. Hicks in Cambridge . 1695. To my Honoured Friend and School-fellow Mr. A. OWEN . SIR , THE way of Dedicating now most in fashion , seems to me to stand in as great need of a Reformation , as does our Poetry . For , as we take nothing to be True and Genuine Poetry , but what is Light , Frothy , and has a wanton Air throughout it ; so the generality seem to stand persuaded , That an Epistle Dedicatory loses its End quite , if not stuff'd up with gross and open Flattery , sufficient to call a Blush into any modest Reader 's Cheek . But here it is a hard matter to judge , Whether the Impudence of the Author , or the Vanity of the Patron ( who believes all true that 's said of him ) does contribute most to carry on this notorious piece of Folly. Now ( Sir ) tho our Early Friendship , and Intimate Acquaintance was the Reason that prevail'd most upon me in presenting this small Essay to You ; yet , to speak truth , there was another Motive too , which made me the more desirous of it , and that was merely upon the account of running counter to the generality of Dedicating Poets , to try if a particular Example might have any small Influence in correcting the Poetical License they take upon such like occasions : For here I was satisfied that I might come off without the least flattering Glance , with one who ( tho young ) has Experience enough to understand , that Personal Respect is not to be estimated by the fine Complements and Flourishes of a Fanciful Pen. And for my part , I think if our Poets go on at their old Rate but a little longer , we shall be apt to interpret Epistles of this sort as we do Dreams , by the Contrary . The great Scandal that Poetry has of late been subject to , together with the respect I always had for it , gave occasion for the following Reflection . For as I was considering how much this Art was esteemed amongst our Forefathers , and how Venerable , nay , almost Sacred , the Name of a Poet was then ; Surely ( thought I ) the Former Honour , and the Present Disgrace the Muses lye under , could never depend on the different Capricio's of two divers Ages , but there must be some more reasonable Ground for this matter , which if once discovered , will give a very fair opportunity of restoring Verse to its Primitive Dignity . Some there are who suspect , That the want of Genius in our Age has given Poetry this deadly Wound : But they will soon find their Mistake , if ( laying aside the blind Veneration we have for Antiquity ) they compare the Ancients and Moderns in any sort of Poetry , excepting the Epic. So that we must seek out for some other Cause more probable than the former . And what others may spy , I know not ; but I think the great Difference lies here , That Poetry is now no longer the Fountain of Wisdom , the School of Virtue ; it is no longer a fit Trainer up of Youth , a Bridler of the Passions and exorbitant Desires : But on the contrary , he is reckoned the Ablest Poet , that is most dextrous at conjuring up these Evil Spirits , to disturb the Calm and Quiet of the Soul. And this ( if I mistake not ) is that which hath deform'd so great a Beauty , and cast an Odium on that most Excellent Art , which was once the Pride of Conquerors , and Envy of Philosophers . What I have transiently remark'd in the following Verses , will ( I doubt not ) be dislik'd by many of our Rhiming Sparks , for take but the Liberty of Writing Immodestly from 'em , aud you have quite dismounted them off their Pegasus ; they are quite Tongue-ty'd ; 't is with them , as Horace says it was in the Reign of the old Comedy , Chorusque , Turpiter , obticuit , sublato jure nocendi . What I have said against Love upon the Stage , I would not have apprehended so , as if I would have that Passion quite exploded ; for I think it one of the fittest Passions for Poetry , and capable of very great Ornaments ; but then I would have it very nicely and delicately handled ; and what might give the least Offence to the severest Modesty always cast in Shades ; for it is then only that this Passion is not to be allow'd , when it goes beyond its bounds ; and that is , when the Poet 's Strokes are too bold , and his Colours too glaring . I was told ( which I my self afterwards found to be true ) that a great Part of my Design was already perform'd in the Preface to Prince Arthur . However , that did not trouble me in the least , for I was very glad to see so Eminent an Author of the same Opinion with me ; since I had laid a Rude Draught of my Reflection the last Summer , which I then shew'd several of my Acquaintance . However , the World may think this a Sham , and I am very willing to be thought indebted to so creditable a Person for what I have said . I shall make no Apology for the Tediousness of my Epistle , since you are too often guilty of the Contrary Vice in writing to your Real Friend , and very Humble Servant . A REFLECTION ON OUR Modern Poesy . IF Poets be ( as they pretend ) inspir'd With Heat Divine , and Sacred Fury fir'd , How comes it then , that each Poetick Piece Gives now-a-days Encouragement to Vice ? Each Line ( or else we think it will not do ) With wanton Love , and Flames unchaste must glow . That scribling Fop that would a Poet be , First bids adieu to all his Modesty : Invokes not Phoebus , but the God of Wine ; Crowns his hot Temples with th' inspiring Vine : The Glass ( Dull Sot ! ) must make his Thoughts sublime , For in a Sober Mood what Bard can Rhime ? But sure Great Homer got not thus a Name ; Nor Lofty Maro his Eternal Fame ; Their Muses chaste as Vestal Virgins were ; Stately , not Proud ; Reserv'd , but not Severe . The Flame that thro' their Works so bright does shine , Was surely kindled by a Breath Divine , No Cupid's Puff , nor Frenzy caus'd by Wine . But that our Follies we at large may see , Let 's closer view our Modern Poesy . What place so much debauch'd as is our Stage , Which next the Pulpit , should correct the Age ? What anciently Devotion did begin , We have converted to the use of Sin ; And on our Theatres we daily see Vice triumph o'er dejected Honesty . But happy Athens ! whose more splendid Stage Was moraliz'd by Sophocles wise Rage : Who e're he did pretend to Poetry , Search'd the grave Precepts of Philosophy ; Hence 't was he taught but what he learnt before , And practis'd those sound Rules his Writings bore : He doubly charm'd his Modest Audience , By good Example , and wise Eloquence . Philosophers far short in teaching came ; Their Naked Virtues maimed were and lame . The Pearl they represented to the View Unpolish'd , as It naturally grew . But Poets put a Gloss on 't , made it shine , Then 't was embrac'd as somewhat more Divine . And what the People thought too Hard before , Sits Easy now , and is with Pleasure bore . And now what weak Excuse , what vain Pretence , Can Christian Poets bring in their Defence ? Shall Heathens teach by Nature's Glow-worm Light , What they neglect when Faith directs their Sight ? Or are our Palates vitiated , and we Can relish nought but Vice in Poetry ? Must They indulge the Ill , and sooth our Fate , Or else prevent it e're it be too late ? If We are led away by strong Desire , Must They add Fuel to the raging Fire ? Not so did Orpheus ; but with tuneful Voice , Taught Salvage Men that follow'd Nature's Choice , That wildly stray'd in shrubby Brakes all day , And herded with the common Beasts of Prey ; E'en These he taught their Passions to subdue , Through Error 's Maze to follow Reason's Clue , Their Mossy Caves and Grotto's to forsake , And fitter Dwellings for themselves to make ; And that in Learning Greece did so aspire , Was wholly owing to his Sacred Lyre . Then let some Champion for the Muses rise , Who dares be obstinately Good , and Wise ; Let him but turn the Stream of Helicon , And make It in its proper Channel run . He needs not fear his Bayes shall wither'd lye ; Or that We shall despise his Poetry ; For Virtue , when well dress'd in Comely Grace , Has surely Charms so lovely in her Face , We all should Vice forsake , and only Her embrace . But He must then take a peculiar care , No Wanton Scenes have in his Poem share : A Plot and Moral let him chuse , that 's free From all Allays of fulsome Ribaldry , Which in our Modern Plays too oft we see . Let not Immodest Love come in his Rhimes ; Which to excuse , our Poets oftentimes Reply , They bring such Objects into view , To make us loathe those Passions we pursue . But this is False ; They always move Desire , Fan by degrees in us Unlawful Fire : For here the Poet 's Warm Expressions move Th' Unthinking Herd such Passions to approve . Then let 'em be with Care remov'd from sight ; If we 'll be free , we must forget 'em quite . The Wiser Ancients did this Fault decline , And made their Tragedies more Masculine . Each nervous Scene some Manlike Virtue taught , Untainted with the least Immodest Thought . Their Heroes were more Stern , and fit for Wars , Scorn'd whining Love , and Jealousy's fond Jars : But Ours , more fit for Cupid's Childish Arms , Are Womens Fools , and Captives to their Charms . The Stage , which Terror should with Pity move , With us is wholly taken up in Love. In this ( as well as other Follies ) we Too much affect the Gallick Levity : Thence our Romantick Heroes first we drew , Unlike our Arthur , and our William too . In vain it is , that Heav'n's Wise Providence Has by a Sea divided us from France , If still their Fopperies we Imitate , And their vain Customs to our Isle Translate . We want not Genius for the Buskin Muse , Would Britain but all Foreign Aids refuse ; Nor of our Language need we to complain ; 'T is Pompous , Bold , and fits the Tragick Strain . Our Poets too that have wrote Comedy , Have Wit enough , but fail in Modesty ; They still forget the End for which they write , And mind not Profit , so they can Delight . But he that wears the Sock , should carefully Purge all his Writings from Obscenity : And though the Age's Humour he expose , Yet no Unseemly things should he disclose . His Plays should be a Glass , where All might see How to correct their own Deformity . Terence in this might justly claim the Bayes , Whose Lively Draughts succeeding Ages praise : By Him was taught upon the Roman Stage , The Duties proper to each State and Age. But here with us , in a whole Comedy One Virtuous Character you cannot see : Rather than want for Vice , we chuse to draw Strange Monsters , contrary to Nature's Law. True Innocence the Poet ridicules , And Honesty reserves for none but Fools . His Gentleman he makes a Wondrous Sage , That 's deeply read in Vices of the Age : His Mistress and his Cloaths employ his Care ; Of all his Thoughts his Countrey claims no share . The Damsel too , e'er Fifteen Years expire , Is all o'er Love , and Wanton with Desire ; Then strait all Filial Duty 's laid aside , And nought will please her , but the Name of Bride : Which once obtain'd , does soon uneasie prove , And still she trafficks in Forbidden Love ; Her Husband 's Kisses lose their wonted Taste , And stollen Pleasures always Relish best . These Characters with Wit and Language joyn'd , Must needs Instruct a Youthful Reader 's Mind ! These Ills , tho' great , yet are but light to Crimes , Whose Horror shall amaze succeeding Times ! See now the Poet 's Bold in Mischief grown , And turns to Ridicule the Sacred Gown ! The Grave Divine a Laughing-stock he makes ; And the firm Basis of Religion shakes : High Heav'n's Embassador within the Scene Lays by his awful and becoming Mien , And takes upon him there ( O Monstrous sight ! ) To play the Pimp , or Canting Hypocrite . Happy the Heathens ! whose Impiety Ne'er mounted yet to such a high degree . Due Reverence to their Priests was always shown , And Distance kept from the Mysterious Gown . Calchas was Fear'd and Honour'd as a God , The Grecian Army still Obey'd his Nod. But hear , O hear ! how mighty was the Hand Of Moses , and how powerful the Wand , That wrought such Wonders in Proud Pharaoh's Land ! Revolve th' amazing History , and learn The Dignity of Priesthood to discern . Satyr , which was a wholsome Remedy , Prescrib'd to cure a People's Malady , When prudently apply'd doth Good produce ; But as all Goods are subject to abuse , So this of Late no Publick Cure intends , But only serves to black Malicious ends . We dip our Pens in Gall when e'er we Write , And all our Inspiration is but Spite . But Horace , free from Prejudice and Rage , With Honey did the smarting Sting assuage : His Satyr grinn'd not as it bit , but Smil'd , Both Cur'd the Reader , and his Care beguil'd . Had Dryden never Writ , then Britain still Had with Despair admir'd the Roman Skill : But now , by his Example taught , we know , That Finest Satyr in our Soil will grow . Our Songs and Little Poems , for most part , Have much degraded the Poetick Art. On Trifling Subjects all our Wit we drain ; Which little Credit to the Writer gain . Turn over e'ery Late Miscellany , You hardly can a Modest Copy see . Broad Words , and fulsome Thoughts we now admit , And praise the Nauseous Author for a Wit. But sure by Men of Sense and Quality , The Wretch is Pity'd for his Ribaldry ; And here the Petty Scribler's Blasted Bays Is propt but by the silly Vulgar's Praise . Were I design'd by Kinder Destiny To Court a Muse , and follow Poetry , My early care should be to raise a Fence To guard All-Pure my Native Innocence ; My Infant Genius should strict Vertue learn , And Modesty should be its great Concern : Nor Popular Applause , nor hopes of Gain , Th' unspotted Brightness of the Pearl should stain . For Reputation , if it once be lost , Can never be regain'd by any Cost ; 'T is Bright like Chrystal , — but 't is Brittle too , Easie to Crack , but hard for to Renew . Then closely would I watch m' untainted Muse , That She no Meretricious Arts should use ; No Unbecoming Words , nor Wanton sound , The Niceness of her Virgin Ear shou'd wound . So shou'd my Writings with the Eneid strive , And my Chaste Verse to endless Ages live : Whilst all my Readers say , Lo ! This is He , That from long Bondage set the Muses Free. FINIS . 
A54782	----	Sam. Ld. Bp. of Oxon, his celebrated reasons for abrogating the test and notions of idolatry, answered by Samuel, Arch-Deacon of Canterbury. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1688 Approx. 32 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54782 Wing P2100 ESTC R32293 12619938 ocm 12619938 64497 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54782) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64497) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1533:19) Sam. Ld. Bp. of Oxon, his celebrated reasons for abrogating the test and notions of idolatry, answered by Samuel, Arch-Deacon of Canterbury. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. The third edition. [2], 22 p. [s.n.], London printed : 1688. "Samuel Parker was Archdeacon of Canterbury in 1686 when he became Bishop of Oxford"--NUC pre-1956 imprints. Attributed by Wing and NUC pre-1956 imprints to Phillips. Reproduction of original in the Union Theological Seminary Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Parker, Samuel, 1640-1688. -- Reasons for abrogating the test imposed upon all members of Parliament. Test Act (1673) Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1660-1688. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion SAM . L d. B p. of OXON , His Celebrated REASONS FOR ABROGATING THE TEST , And NOTIONS of IDOLATRY , ANSWERED BY SAMUEL , Arch-Deacon of Canterbury . The Third Edition . It 's better to Indulge Mens Vices and Debaucheries , than their Consciences . Sam. Park . Eccles. Pol. Pag. 54. LONDON , Printed in the Year , 1688. THere is nothing hereby intended to impugn the Abrogation of the TEST : May His Majesty's Sacred Will and Pleasure be fulfill'd ; and may the Rights of the English Peerage remain Inviolable . But there seems to have been an absolute Necessity , for the AUTHOR of the Reasons for Abrogating the TEST , to have Repeal'd his most bitter Invectives against the Nonconformists , and his Tempestuous Indignation against Dissenters in general ; so diametrically opposite to the Serene and Pious Desires and Resolutions of His Majesty , to make His Subjects happy , and unite them to Him as well by Inclination , as Duty ; and to have shew'd his Compliance to His Majesty in all His most Laudable and Generous Designs , before he had singl'd out that particular Point of the TEST , meerly to hook in a Plea for Transubstantiation , and his own New modell'd Notions of Idolatry . But let Others , whom it may concern , dispute those Controversies : The present Question is , Whether his Lordship of Oxon , have Retracted his Discouses of Ecclesiastical Polity , or at least , those Passages in them , which run so apparently counter to His Majesty's Gracious Declaration for Liberty of Conscience ? Otherwise he may seem to have calculated his Writings for the various Meridians of State ; and his Arguments will not bear that Weight , which ( tho' the same , yet ) coming from Another Person , they would have done . NOW , there cannot be a more certain Touch-stone of Truth of the Bishop's , or Arch-Deacon's ( which you please , for they are both the same Person 's ) Ecclesiastical Polity , than the Declaration it self : Only , out of his Christian Charity , the Arch-Deacon has Peopled the Kingdom with such a dreadful Canaille , ( all but those of the Church of England ) that Astonishment it self might wonder well , were his unconscionable Epithetes to be allow'd , that so Gracious , so Indulgent , so Soft and Calm a Declaration , should come forth in Kindness to such a Rabble : For Those whom His Majesty calls His Good Subjects , the Arch-Deacon continually strigmatizes with the foul Epithetes of Iugglers , Dissemblers , Wicked Rebellious , Hypocrites , Sons of Strife and Singularity , and most notorious Hereticks . And , upon this Supposition , as the Foundation of his Pile , that the Generality of the People of England are such , ( for he excepts none but Those of the Church of England ) he rears the Fabrick of his Ecclesiastical Polity ; wherein he had only this Misfortune , to be of a quite contrary Opinion to His Prince ; and that his Draconicks were not Repeal'd , before the Declaration came forth . The Declaration expresses His Majesty's Earnest Desire to Establish His Government on such a Foundation , as to make His Subjects happy , and unite Them to Him as well by Inclination , as Duty ; which He thinks can be done by no means so effectually , as by Granting Them the Free Exercise of their Religion . But the Arch-Deacon's Politicks are of another Strain : For , in his Preface to his Ecclesiastical Polity , p. 12. he say ; That the Aim of his Discourse is , by representing the Palpable Inconsistency of Phanatick Tempers and Principles , with the Welfare and Security of Government , to awaken Authority to beware of its worst , and most dangerous Enemies , and force them to Modesty and Obedience by Severity of Laws . Pag. 52. of the same Preface : If Princes ( says he ) would but consider , how liable Mankind are to abuse themselves with serious and conscientious Villanies , they would quickly see it to be absolutely necessary to the Peace and Happiness of their Kingdoms , that there be set up a more severe Government over Men 's Consciences , than over their Vices and Immoralities . Pag. 54. of the same , He boasts his having prov'd , That Indulgence and Toleration is the most Absolute sort of Anarchy ; and that Princes may with less Hazard give Liberty to Men 's Vices and Debaucheries , than to their Consciences . But the Declaration is quite of another Temper : VVe humhly thank Almighty God , it is , and hath of a long Time been , Our constant Sense and Opinion , which upon divers Occasions VVe have declared , That Conscience ought not to be constrain'd , nor People forc'd in Matters of meer Religion . But this will not be admitted by the Arch-Deacon : For , ( says he , Ecclesiast . Pol. pag. 321. ) when Men's Consciences are so squemish , that they will rise against the Customs and Injunctions of the Church , She must scourge them into Order and chastize them for their troublesome Peevishness , Pag. 324. ( Eccles. Polit. ) He pretnnds to have prov'd the Vnavoidable danger of Toleration , and keeping Religious Differances , that Religion must be govern'd by the same Rules , as all other Transactions of Human Life ; and that nothing can do it but severe Laws ; nor they neither , unless severely Executed . Ecclesiast . Pol : Pag. 311. if Princes ( says he ) will suffer themselves to be checked in their Laws Spiritual by every Systematical Theologue , they may as well bare to see themselves affronted in their Laws Civil by every Viliage-Attorney . Pag. 284. But to indulge Ideots in their folly because they threaten Authority to be peevish and , Scrupulous , and to Infest the Government with a sullen , and cross-grain'd Godliness , ( an Artifice not much unlike the Tricks of forward Children ) is to suffer Ignorance to ride in Triumph ; and therefore such Humorsom Saints must be lash'd out of their Sullenness , into Compliance , and better Manners . This ( as the Arch-Deacon calls it , Preface to Brambal 's Vindication ) was one his Rhapsodies of hasty and huddled Thoughts . Most Divine Words , and most Seraphick Charity ! but the Arch-Deacon will have Tenderness of Conscience to be Pride ; Vanity , and Insolence , though all the Seven Champions should contradict him . Pag. 273. He that pretends Conscience to vouch his Humour , and his Insolence , is a Villian , and an Hypocrite ; and so far from deserving Pity , especially from Authority , than no Offenders can more need or provoke their Severity . This may be True : But , where the Supream Government , which must of necessity be Absolute , Uncontroulable , and Unlimited , as well in matters of Religion , &c. more Sagaciously discerns beyond the Arch-Deacon 's , that same Conscience to be neither Humouor nor Insolence - nor will comprehend it under that Notion ; there , it is to be hoped , the Man is not a Villian , nor an Hypocrite , and so not liable to the Fury of Correction . Pag. 271. And therefore , if Princes will be Resolute , they may easily make the most Stubborn Consciences bend to their Commands ; But , if they will not , they must subbmit Themselves , and their Power , to all the Follies and Passions of their Subjects . Probatum est . S. P. Pag. 270. Governours must look to the Publick , and let Tender Consciences look to Themselves . Laws must be of an unyielding , and unflexible Temper , and not soft and easie Things . Princes must not be diffident in their Maxims of Policy ; but , as they must set up some to Themselves ; so they must Act roundly up to them Dii te donent Tonsore . — Quaere , Why this Counsel was not taken , since the Counsel was given so long before the Declaration came forth ? Answ. Because it was ever contrary to His Majesty's Inclination , Pag. 269. 'T is all one to the Concernments of Government , whether Tenderness of Conscience be Serious or Counterfeit : for whether so or so , 't is directly contrary to the Ends and Interest of Government . Better unsaid , than not Believed . Pag. 263. And what can be more destructive to all manner of Government , than to make all the Rules of Order and Discipline less Sacred , than the Whimsies of every Phanatick Zealot ? Pray be patient , Sir , there 's no such thing done . Ibid. When to pick Quarrels with the Laws , and make Scruple of Obeying them , shall be made the Specifick Character of the Godly : When giddy and humorous Zeal shall not only excuse , but hallow Disobedience ; when every one that has Fancy enough to fancy himself a Child of God , shall have License to dispise Authority . Who would have been at the trouble of all this Rhetorick , had he known what would have followed ? Pag. 253. In brief The only Cause of all our Troubles and Disturbances , is , the Inflexible Perverseness of about an hundred Proud Ignorant , and Seditious Preachers ; against whom , if the Severity of the Laws were particularly levell'd , how easie would it be to reduce the People to a Peacable Temper ? There were just Three more than his Number , and that spoild the Project . Pag. 187. What can be more apparently vain , than to talk of Accommodations , or to hope for any Possibility of Quiet or Settlement , till Authority shall see it necessary to scourge them into better Manners , and wiser Opinions ? Pag. 219. T is easie possible for well-meaning People , through Ignorance or Inadvertency , to be betraid into such unhappy Errors , as may tend to the Publick Desturbance ; which , though it be not so much their Crime ●as Infelecity ; yet is there no Remedy , but it must expose them to the Correction of the Publick Rods and Axes . Surely , Rhadamanthus 's own Chaplain could not have preached more severe Divinity ? Pag. 271. In brief , There is nothing so ungovernable , as a Tender Conscience ; or so restiff and inflexible , as Folly or Wickedness , when hardned with Religion : And therefore , instead of being Comply'd with , they must be Restrain'd with a more peremtory and unyielding Rigor , than naked and unsanctify'd Villany . Pag. 223. Nay , so easie it is for Men to deserve to be Punish'd for their Consciences , that there is no Nation in the World , ( were Government rightly understood , and duly manag'd ) wherein Mistakes and Abuses in Religion , would not supply the Galleys with vastly greater Numbers , than Villany . 'T is a comfort , curst Cows have now short Horns . However , to this the Tender Declaration makes a Reply , declaring one of the Reasons of His Majesty's Indulgence to be , Because He finds , That Force in Matters of meer Religion , tends to the Depopulating of Countries . On the other side , the Arch-Deacon in Opposition to the KING 's Reason , is for Depopulating the Land , and Peopling the Galleys ; and arraigns that Government for want of Understanding , and due Management , that does not observe his Method of Cruelty . He is for Pillories , Whipping-Posts , Rods , Axes , Scourges , &c. as if no Government pleas'd him , but that described by Virgil in Hell : Hinc exaudiri gemitus , & saeva sonare Verbera ; tum stridor Ferri , tractaeque catenae . — Accincta flagella Tisiphone quatit insultans , torvosque sinistra Intentans Angues vocat Agmina saeva sororum . This , in the Arch-Deacon 's Ecclesaistical Polity ; and to shew , that no other Government will content him but this , Pag. 18. I leave it , ( says he ) to Governors themselves to judge , whether it does not concern them , with as much Vigilance and Severity , either to prevent the Rise , or suppress the Growth , ( of Phanaticks he means , that find themselves aggrieved by the Penal Laws ) as to punish any the foulest Crimes of Immortality ? And if they would but seriously consider into what Exorbitances peevish and nntoward Principles about Religion improve themselves , they could not but perceive it to be as much their Concernment to punish them with the severest Inflictions , as any whatsoever Principles and Rebellions in the State — Well! The Business is consider'd , and his Ecclesiastical Polity is found to be Deficient . Nay , he goes farther , and arraigns all Kings and Princes for their Folly , under the Title of Governors : For , says he , in the following Pag. 19. This certainly has ever been one of the Fatal Miscarriages of all Governors , in that they have not been aware of this Fierce and Implacable Enemy , ( meaning the Phanaticks , who care no more for Whips and Scourges , than the Devil does for Holy-Water ) but have gone about to govern unruly Consciences by more easie and remiss Laws than those that are only able to suppress scandalous and confess'd Villanies ; and have thought them sufficiently restrain'd , by threatning Punishments , without inflicting them . And indeed , in most Kingdoms , so little have Princes understood their own Interests in Matters of Religion , &c. Hearken , O ye Princes of Europe , and go to School again to the Author of the Discourses of Ecclesiastical ●●lity . But , here is another bold Touch : Prohibition disobliges Dissenters , and that is one Evil ; Impunity allows them Toleration , but that is a Greater ; and where Governors permit what their Laws permit , ( This is not the present Case ) there the Commonwealth must at once feel all the Evils both of Restraint and Liberty . So that , as they would expect Peace and Settlement , they must be sure , at first , to bind on their Ecclesiastical Laws with the streightest Knot ; and afterwards keep them in Force and Countenance , by the Severity of the Law. Their Restraint must be proportion'd to their Unruliness of the Conscience ; and they must be manag'd with so much the greater Strictness , than all other Principles of Disturbance , by how much they are the more dangerous . Gratias Domine , now Princes understand what they have to do . Yet a little more of the Arch-Deacon 's Ecclesiastical Polity . Beloved , in his Preface to Bishop Bra●hal 's Vindication , ( for it is not Pag'd ) you shall find it thus written : They ( meaning the Phanaticks , or Complainants against the Penal Statutes ) have been so long accustom'd to undutiful Demeanor , that it is to be fear'd , they are grown too Head-strong and Incorrigible , to be aw'd into a more modest Behaviour by Threatnings of Severity . Therefore , it will be thought necessary to bridle their ungovern'd Tongues and Spirits with Pillories and Whipping-Posts . And at the Bottom of the same Page : To this Peevishness of their Humors , I might add the Restlesness of their Minds , that is always displeas'd with the settled Frame of Things , ( innuendo , the settled Penal Laws ; ) and that no Alterations can satisfy . If you condescend to their First Demands , you only encourage them to be making New Remonstrances : Appease all their Old Complaints , and they are immediately picking New Faults to be Redress'd . They that at first only request Indulgence , will , when strong enough , demand it . In short , Give the Non-conformists an Inch , and they 'll take an Ell. But , ( in the same Preface ) should it ever so happen hereafter , that any King of England should be prevail'd with to deliver up the Church , ( That is to say , to dispence with the Penal Laws and TEST ; for the TEST , notwithstanding the Reasons against it , must be included in this long Parenthesis , because the Church fram'd it ) he had as good , at the same Time , resign up his Crown . And thus you see the Danger of the Present Government , through the Non-conformity to the Arch-Deacon 's Ecclesiastical Polity . There is another Reason , why His Majesty was graciously pleas'd to Think , Force in Matters of meer Religion directly contrary to the Interest of Government ; and that is , Spoyling of TRADE . Trade ! cries the Arch-Deacon : Trade ! No. Let Grass grow about the Custom-House , rather than abate one Tittle of my Ecclesiastical Polity : For , ( in his Preface to his Ecclesiast . Pol. Pag. 49. ) 'T is notorious , ( says he ) that there is not any sort of People so inclinable to Seditious Practices , as the Trading Part of a Nation ; and their Pride and Arrogance naturally increases with the Improvement of their Stock . And if we reflect upon our late Miserable Distractions , 't is easie to observe , how the Quarrel was hatcht in Trade , Men's Shops , and cherisht by the Zeal of Prentices : ( By the way , this is plausible Nonsense all over . ) But he goes on , Pag. 50. 'T is a very odd , and preposterous Piece of Policy , to design the enriching this sort of People , while their Heads are distemper'd with Religious Lunacies . And , Pag. 51. He is a very silly Man , and understands nothing of the Follies , Passions , and Inclinations of Human Nature , who sees not there is no Creature so ungovernable , as a Wealthy Phanatick . And therefore , ( Pag. 48. ) I confess , I cannot but smile , when I observe how some , that would be thought wonderful grave and solemn Statesmen , labour with mighty Projects of setting up this and that Manufacture , in their several respective Towns and Corporations ; and how eagerly they pursue these Petty Attempts , beyond the Great Affairs of a more Publick Concernment , ( Meaning the dreadful and terrible Execution of the Penal Laws ; ) and how wisely they neglect the Settlement of a whole Nation , for the Benefit of a Village or Burrough ? Very pleasant Ecclesiastical Polity ! No Man must eat or drink , or maintain his Family : The grand Relation of Human Necessities , depending one upon another , must stand still , to oblige the Arch-Deacon 's Ecclesiastical Polity . Here 's a Quietus est for above the Third Part of the Nation . None but those that can swallow a Surplice , and adore the Parochial Levite , must weave Camlets at Norwich , make Bays at Colchester , Spurrs at Rippon , Nayls at Brommigeham , or Saddles at Burford . For why ? There is not any sort of People so Seditious , as the Trading Part of the Nation . So that , supposing the Greater Part of the Trading Part of the Nation be , as the Arch-Deacon calls them , Phanaticks , and Nonconformists , ( that is , Men Conscientiously scrupuling the Ceremonies of the Church of England ) they must either be Scourg'd into better Manners with Bryars and Thorns ; or else the Nation must be laid waste and desolate . For , to tell you true , as good have no People , as those that will not pay Tithes ; 't is no matter for the KING's Duties , nor how the Nation may be otherwise weakn'd and expos'd . There is yet behind one more Reason urg'd in the Declaration , and that is this ; That Force in Matters of meer Religion , never obtain'd the End for which it was imploy'd ; wherein His Majesty declares Himself the more Confirm'd , by the Reflections He had made upon the Conduct of the Four last Reigns . Now , here 's the utter Subversion of the Arch-Deacon 's Ecclesiastical Policy ; All meer Labour in vain , abundance of Ranting , Raving , Reviling expressions , insomuch , that the Arch-Angel was more civil to the Devil , than the Arch-Deacon to the Dissenters ; and yet all to no purpose . He has been at a great deal of pains in setting up Pillories and Whipping-Posts in all Parts and Corners of the Kingdom ; and now he may e'ne go , and pull 'em down again . What are now become of all his Politick Let but 's ? In his Preface to Bishop Bramhall 's Vindication ; Let but the Government think it seasonable at any time to Reprieve them ( meaning the Dissenters ) from the Severity of the Laws , and they immediately start up into that Confidence , as to imagine themselves the only Darlings of State. Let but the Publick Rods be removed from their Backs , and they are presently full of Expectations to have them put into their own hands . If they are not always Scourg'd and Chastis'd , they will grow Sawcy , and must by all means become Cronies to Kings and Princes . Many other Passages might have been Collected out of his several Bitter ( if they may not be said to be Scurrilous ) Invectives against the Dissenters ; but here are sufficient to make it apparently Manifest , that the Author of the Ecclesiastical Polity , was as great a Dissenter from the mild and tender Maxims of his Majesty's Government , and his constant Sense and Opinion , of a long time professed and declared upon several Occasions in Matters of Religion , as the Dissenters were dissatisfied with the Rigid Severity of the Church of England ; or , at least , with the Principles of his Ecclesiastical Polity . Which makes it seem questionable , whether a Person , who has brandish'd his Pen with that Virulency , against the Dissenters in general , and His Majesty's Royal Opinion , and the Mature Results of his most serious Deliberations , may be a proper Champion against the Test ? For most certainly , there has been much more said already , and much more to the purpose , than he has produced . On the other side , he has most Dogmatically avouch'd , That if ever the Boisterous and unreasonable Opposition ( as he calls it ) of the Nonconformists to the Church of England , be Re-erected it must be upon its Ruins : And that if ever the Roman Catholicks get any Ground , or Advantage of the Church of England , they will be bound to make their Acknowledgments to the Puritans , and the Strength of their Assistance . Whence he draws his Conclusion , That it would be a pleasant Spectacle , ( that is to say , A ridiculous over-sight in Government ) to see either the Classical or Congregational Discipline establish'd by Authority . Moreover , in the 721. Pag. of the Vindication of his Eccles. Pol. He appeals to all Men , whether Liberty of Conscience be any better , than a License for Anarchy and Confusion ? Pag. 238. He says , That to grant Subjects a lawless and uncontroul'd Liberty of Conscience , in all Matters and Pretences of Religion , is to dissolve one half of the Government into perfect Anarchy , and yield up the Constitution of all Publick Affairs , to the Humor of every wild Enthusiast . And Pag. 553. you find it thus written ; So that , seeing an Ecclesiastical Iurisdiction ( of Pillories and Whipping-Posts , Thorns and Bryars ) is absolutely necessary to prevent all Confusions , arising from unrestrain'd Liberty , it is better that Mankind should be sometimes exposed to the Miseries of Tyranny and Persecution , than always Groan under the Intolerable Disorders of Anarchy , or Reluctancy to Penal Statutes . If then the Church of England be Establish'd upon such a firm Foundation , that nothing can endanger it , but Indulgence to the Dissenters , 't is to be admir'd , that a Man , so knowing in Ecclesiastical Policy , and so great a Friend to th● Church of England , would open such a Gap as to plead for the Abrogation of the Test , which the Church-Men of England fram'd and set-up , as the only Bulwark to prevent her Dissolution . So that , to use his own Words , 'T is very hardly Credible , That a Person , who has lately appear'd so Vigorously in her Cause , should , notwithstanding all his seeming Zeal and Earnestness , be really i● good Earnest , in his Pretences , against the Test. For what signifies the Abrogating the Test , if there be no way to shake the otherwise immovable Church of England , but by making two Bridge● of Dissenters , one between Callice and Dover , the other between Diepe and Rye , for Popery to return into England : For , when he comes to tha● part of his Preface to Bishop Bramhall 's Vindication , where he considers what likelyhood , o● how much danger there is of the Return o● Popery into this Nation : For my own part , says he● I know none , but the Nonconformist's boisterous an unreasonable Opposition to the Church of England ▪ If he think , that the Abrogation of the T●●● may be a means to unite the Papist , and the Di●senter , which he seems to intimate , by saying That the Faction of the Dissenters may be made use of , ●● instruments ( Iourney-men Tools ) to dissolve and unravel the establish'd Frame of things , and destroy the Church of England ; and so make an unobstructed Passage for the Return of Popery in Glory and Triumph ; then he has left his Cause in the Lurch , and relinquish'd all his Ecclesiastical Polity at once . As for the Papists , he deals with them after such a rate , that no Man living knows where to have him . In his Preface to Bishop Bramhall 's Vindication , he seems neither to Love nor Fear 'em : For that , as long as the Church of England stands in Power and Reputation , it will easily beat back and baffle all the Attempts of Rome , and its Adherents ; Their Plausible Reasons being evidently no more , than little Tricks and Sophisms , and seem intended by themselves , rather to abuse the Simple , than satisfie the Wise , Their Innovations are so undeniable , and the Design of the Church of England's Reformation , so apparently Apostolical , that those People must needs argue at a strange wild rate , that will be demonstrating against Experience , and Ocular Inspection . So then , the Reformation made by the Church of England , in the Points of Transubstantiation , Worship of Images , Adoration of the Host , and Invocation of Saints , being Apostolical ; What must be thought of his Reasons against the Test ? Nay , there is Nothing could preserve the Papists from being hiss'd out of the Pit , but that they are extreamly Confident , and most Readers sufficiently ignorant : So that the Church of England may safely defie all their Opposition . She does not stand upon such Trembling Foundations , as to be thrust down with Bull-rush Spears , and Oral Traditions , with Labyrinths , and Castles in the Air. But then his Heart misgives him again , and he begins to fear the Return of Popery into the Nation , should the Nonconformists joyn with the Papists : And therefore , at the End of his Preface , he begs the Hearty Prayers of his Friend , for the Peace and Prosperity of the Church of England ; for when That is gone , ( farewel Frost ) 't will he hard to find out Another , with which any , that are either Honest or Wise , will be over forward to joyn in Communion . Notwithstanding all this , upon better Consideration , as it were in Compassion of the despis'd Weakness of the Church of Rome , and her Adherents , he undertakes to furnish Them with better Arguments of his own , than any they have Themselves , to vindicate Transubstantiation , and clear them from Idolatry : For which he strains an Argument deduc'd from the Cherubims , that cover'd the Ark. And yet , in his Defence of his Ecclesiastical Polity , Pag. 285 , 286. he condemns both Turk and Pope together in a Breath ; the One for giving Divine Worship to a lewd Impostor ; the Other , to a Senseless Piece of Matter . And thus , what , by Vertue of Apparent , Apostolical Reformation , he call'd ( Before ) a Senseless Piece of Matter , he has ( Now ) cover'd with the Cherubim 's Golden Wings , and render'd Adorable by Scripture - Warrant : But , Bene scribit , qui bene intelligitur ; What he has Written , he has Written . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54782-e180 Ecclesiast . Polit , pag. 241 , 242 , 273 , 319 , 187. Eccles. Pol. p. 27 , 28 , 36 , &c. Declar. P. 2. Preface to Bramhal 's Vindication . Preface to Bishop Bramhall's Vindicat. 
A54759	----	The character of a popish successour compleat in defence of the first part, against two answers, one written by Mr. L'Estrange, called The papist in masquerade, &c., and another by an unknown hand. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1681 Approx. 147 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 22 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54759 Wing P2081 Wing S2671_CANCELLED ESTC R23102 12752478 ocm 12752478 93323 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54759) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93323) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 727:40 or 751:15) The character of a popish successour compleat in defence of the first part, against two answers, one written by Mr. L'Estrange, called The papist in masquerade, &c., and another by an unknown hand. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [8], 35 p. Printed for J. Graves ..., London : 1681. Attributed by Wing to John Phillips. Written in defence of Elkanah Settle's The character of a popish successour, and in answer to Sir Roger L'Estrange's The character of a papist in masquerade. Reproduction of original in Duke University Library. Entry for S2671 cancelled in Wing (2nd ed.). Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Settle, Elkanah, 1648-1724. -- Character of a popish successour. L'Estrange, Roger, -- Sir, 1616-1704. -- Character of a papist in masquerade. Great Britain -- Kings and rulers -- Succession. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-12 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE CHARACTER OF A Popish Successour COMPLEAT : IN DEFENCE of the FIRST PART , AGAINST Two ANSWERS , One Written by M r L'ESTRANGE , CALLED The Papist in Masquerade , &c. And another By an Unknown Hand . LONDON : Printed for I. Graves , and are to be sold by most Booksellers . 1681. THE PREFACE . UPon perusal of a Pamphlet written by so ingenious an Author as Mr. L'Estrange , called , The Papist in Masquerade , in answer to the Character of a Popish Successour , my expectation was strangely frustrated , when I found the Book look more like a Poor Robin's Almanack than an Answer , the major part of the Pamphlet being a kind of Red-letter Kalendar in two Columes , with the Popish Worthies on one side , and the Republican ones on the other ; as Raviliac on that hand and Oliver over against him ; and so Mariana and Knox , Pius Quintus and Buchanan , Guido Faux and Hugh Peters , &c. I confess , had he design'd to publish the Villanies both of a Popish and a Republican Conspiracy , and after a plain demonstration of the Government 's being really undermined by both those threatning Enemies , had given his Country some light to steer in the golden Medium between both those fatal Extreams , his Intention had been honest , and he had writ like a Patriot : But alas ! that 's none of his Province ; his Talent is otherwise employ'd : for the sole drift of his Book was not in the least to expose Popery any farther than to make the Fanatical and Jesuitical Principles agree ; for take his Opinion abstracted from that Designe , and his whole Book has no other aim but to make all our dangers of Popery and a Popish Successour , and all the whole Plot against the King , Religion , and Government , ( to use his own Phrase , p. 69. ) but a painted Lion upon a Wall ; and the Prosecutors of that Plot , and the Opposers of those Dangers , a real Bed of Vipers . In fine , the main purpose he drives at , is to make an exact Parallel between this Age and that of 40 & 41 , &c. And that he may so do , you must allow him this great Fundamental , That all the Sticklers against Popery and a Popish Successour , are Fanaticks ; and that all Fanaticks hate both the King and Kingly Government , and are tooth & nail down-right Republicans . Vpon this Basis his whole Fabrick stands . But to rectifie his Mistake in this great point : Have not four Parliaments successively been satisfied in the truth of a Popish Plot for the murder of the King , and subversion of the Government , and jealous of the dangers of Popery , like honest Patriots muster'd all their strength to prevent it ? If the Plot were onely a Bugbear , how comes it that the Wisdom of the Nation in four Parliaments together , has not discover'd the Cheat ? or if they do know the Cheat and act themselves the Legerdemain , and so make the prosecution of the Plot but a Presbyterian Artifice to inflame a Kingdom , in order to playing the game of 41 ore again , as his impious detractions would insinuate , I would ask him , first , How comes it to pass that all the Plot-Evidence have all along so constantly adhered to their Attestations , and that too in so beggarly and starving a Cause , after such vast and tempting Proffers for retracting of their Evidence ; and vaster Rewards , no doubt , they might have , upon the discovery of such a Presbyterian Cheat , if it were one , not onely as a Ransom for so many Great mens lives , but likewise from the greatest hands of the Nation that would desire nothing more than such a Discovery ? Secondly , I would ask him how it came about that the first of these four Parliaments grew so vehement against the Plot ? they , I hope , he 'll confess were a Protestant and a Church of England Parliament ; they were elected Members just after the King's Restoration , in all the height of the Extasie of England , when Majesty and Monarchy were the Peoples Darlings even to Idolatry , at a time when the Horrours of the Civil Wars were fresh in their memories , when the very thought of Presbyterian or Independent Commonwealths , with Rumpers and Rumps , were as detestable as Hell ! That Parliament , I hope , thus chosen and thus qualified , he 'll allow had no Presbyterian Gall in their Veins , and no Canker of 41 , being the very men that on the contrary made the Laws against all Dissenters , and in all their Acts throughout maintain'd the Dignity and Glory of the present Church of England ; and yet this Parliament , as little Presbyterian as it was , gave the first stroke against the Plot ; as I remember , 't was they that discovered those swarms of Papists that had infested the King's Guards , and his Court it self , and crept into almost all Offices of Trust , and by whom planted , I need not tell him : And as I remember , those were the very men that created the Test , and made the Reception of the Protestant Sacrament , and the Renunciation of the Idolatries of Rome , an Introduction to all Employments , on purpose to sweep out those Locusts : Nay , those were the very men that removed our Popish Heir presumptive from his Admiralty , and all other his Preferments ; and no doubt had they continued still , would have very little varied from the true and honourable English Genius of the last : So that without shamming this inveteracy onely upon Dissenters , there has been a Protestant People , a Protestant House of Commons , and Protestant Lords , ( Protestant Lord Bishops onely excepted ) that have struggled both against Popery and a Popish Succession . So that upon Mr. L'Estrange's Argument that the present Dangers of England lie onely in a Republican Conspiracy , and that the present state of 80 and 81 , is but a kind of transmigration of the Spirit of 41 and 42 , in order to the revival of the old Game of 48 ; it is not onely the Dissenters but the Protestants are in the Confederacy ; and so the whole Nation is in a Spirit of Rebellion , ( the innocent Papists onely excepted : ) that is , There 's a Plot lies at every door but the right . However , the Pamphleteers of this Age will not be so satisfied : for 't is the great Maxime they all lay down , Every man that is for excluding a Popish Successour is a Fanatick , and every Fanatick ( as I told you ) a Republican . But to convince 'em , if they are not incorrigible , that 't is not onely a Fanatical Exclusion , What if I pickt out even of the very protesting Lords themselves , several of them of famous and exemplary Loyalty , so far from the possibility either of Fanaticks or Republicans , that they have been Caviliers and Loyalists through all our late Troubles ; one or two of them that have been Generals in the King's service ; a third , whose Father lost his head for him ; a fourth , that for asserting the King 's Right in the Field , had no other Reprieve from a Gallows but his Majesties Return ; a fifth , that beside the constant sums sent over to the King in his Exile , after a total sequestration of his Estate , pawn'd even his last Stake , his Plate , to serve him ; with several other Sufferings that many others of 'em underwent : And yet the Scriblers of these times shall tell you there 's never a Mothers son of them all that loves either the King or the Government , but is a rank Fanatick ; for the very thought of an Exclusion turns ipso momento Fanaticism . So that it will be worth a mans while to give the world the true definition of a Fanatick , and a full interpretation of the word . Formerly in old times , a Fanatick so called , signified an Enthusiastick in Religion , one that pretended to Inspiration and new Light , or had a picque against a Liturgie or Surplice , or the like : But a Fanatick of 79 and 80 , is quite another thing , and the word of a quite different signification ; for now , He that values the safety of himself and his Posterity , he that thinks he has an Estate and Liberty worth preserving , a Country worth saving , a Religion worth defending , and indeed a God worth serving , is a FANATICK . But 't will not be amiss to instance the validity of some of those Comparisons he makes between the present Iealousies and those of the late times . Mr. L'Estrange , p. 21. says Earle before the Commons , Nov. 5. 1644. Saul's Sons are not spared , no nor may Agag or Benhadad , though themselves Kings : Zimri and Cosbi , though Princes of the people , must be pursued into their Tents . This is the way to consecrate your selves to God. Vpon which he remarks , And what was the ground of all this Fierceness , but a Popish King , though the glory of the Reformation , for want of a Popish Successour ? So that here lies the Analogie betwixt our Fears and theirs . Then the groundless Fierceness lay against a pretended imaginary Popish King , though in truth the Glory of the Reformation ; and now the fierceness lies against a real Popish Subject , that may be our King , the very Infamy of all Apostacy , when degenerated to such principles , and yet born of such a Father . And afterwards in the same page , he says , Mr. L'E . This is enough to convince the world that the very sound of Popery will do the business as well without a ground as with it ; and whoever goes to alarm the people upon this desperate point , had need give good security for his Allegiance . And what 's all this , but to tell us , because a Bugbear frighted us once , therefore a real Fiend must not fright us now ? So that his whole Discourse can be reduced to no other heads but these . First . It makes the most uncharitable inferences that 't is possible for Malice or Ill-nature to invent . Because a Judas once kiss'd and betray'd , and a Joab embraced and stab'd , therefore no man must ever kiss or embrace without a treacherous and murderous intention . The hatching of the old Republican Conspiracy under the fictitious fears of approaching Popery , must now make the just fears of the true danger of Popery equally guilty of the same Treason and Combination . Secondly , He cuts off the whole Right and Liberty of the Subject at one blow . Because a knot of Achitophels once pretended Grievances where none was , to accomplish their own wicked purposes ; therefore no Subject shall or may petition or vote , though in a legal Parliamentary way , for the redress of the greatest Grievance in Nature , and that in the plainest and most imminent Exigence of a Nation ; but must be forced silently to sit down by his hard Fate , and be debarred the priviledge of Laws , nay even of his very Prayers for his Deliverance . Now is it not a little hard , that after the goodness of our most gracious Soveraign that has made An Act of Oblivion , Mr. L'Estrange's Vengeance alone should be implacable , and set the Childrens teeth an edge for the sour Grapes their Grandfathers eat so long ago , by entailing a Curse upon their Posterity in secula seculorum ? But how ridiculous and how false soever were the fears of Popery in the last Age , how treacherous the Serpent that lurkt under those fair but false pretences , and how fatal soever the sting that attended it , yet our endeavours sure may beboth legal and honest , against the plain and visible dangers of Popery under the threatning influence of a Popish Heir ; manifested such a one , not onely by the long and indefatigable Machinations of Hell in his behalf , the most horrid Iesuitish Confederacy against the life of a Protestant King , a Protestant Church and Government , animated and founded on their Assurance of establishing their own infernal Reign under the umbrage of his Scepter , a scepter design'd to be made out of that consecrated Ponyards hilt reserved to cut a passage for him to a Throne through the heart of a Protestant Majesty , a Scepter that both like Moses and Aaron's Rod , at once should bud and blossom for the Glory of Rome , but turn a devouring Snake for the Heretick Confusion and Destruction ; manifested such a one , I say , not onely from all this apparent Testimony , but even by a yet stronger demonstration , those printed recorded Pacquets of Letters which as littora scripta manet , flie in the face of all Dispute , and stop the very mouth of Flattery , Equivocation , and Artisice , by plainly exposing to all Eyes and all Vnderstandings a private Intrigue and Correspondence between the Heir of a Protestant Kingdom , and the Pope , the most implacable Enemy both of Protestant Kings and Kingdoms ; a Correspondence too subtly disguis'd in MYSTERIES and CHARACTERS , that usual Hocus pocus-Language where the World has so often been the Cully , whilst Treachery play'd the Iuggler : So that to match the present Genius of England with that of 41 and 42 , as all the scribling canting Favourers of Popery would impudently sham upon the world , is to make even North and South meet together , to unite the most opposite Contradictions in Nature , to make a Plot and no Plot , shadows and substances , truth and falshood , dangers and no dangers , Protestants and no Protestants , nay Patriots and Traytors the very same thing , the designe of that Age being to reduce us to Slavery , and this to free us from it . But suppose ( as they say ) there were some turbulent malecontented Spirits in the Nation of Commonwealth principles , and that they herded amongst the honest and worthy Opposers of Popery , resolving to play the Spider and extract poyson from the same Flower from which the Bee sucks Honey . Let us but consider two things , and then we shall find how impossible 't is for them to attain their desires , and perfect so extravagant a projection . 1. The Grievance of the Nation is a Popish Successour ; and that Grievance once removed by a Bill of Exclusion , we countermine all the Arts and Subtilties of Rome , that have or can be form'd against us , and raise an impregnable Bulwark against all our Enemies on that side , and at the same time they will not onely supply the King with money , which is one of the strongest Nerves of power , but also it will undoubtedly restore him the intire Affections of all or most of the Commonalty of England which have or can be alienated , or estranged by his unhappy and too vigorous defence of a Successour so universally odious : so that these Republican Matchivilians joyn in the very project that destroys them ; for by this means what the Monarch wins , the Republican loses . 2. 'T is an undeniable Truth , that the whole Populace in general abhor such a thought , and the Miseries of the late Civil Wars are too lively in their memories , for them ever to be wrought up again into the same Frenzy . Though the deluded Multitude were then put out of love with Kings , they found too soon by woful Experience , that the Protectorate was ten times worse , and whatever prejudice they had conceived against the old unhappy King , yet the grievous Oppressions , Taxes , and standing Armies under Gromwel , quickly open'd their Eyes , and to their own sad cost , assured them they had not mended but marred their condition by rebelling : And that Oliver's policy in deposing a King to establish a Protector , was but an old Roman Iuggle revived ; when as History tells us , after the Romans had been weary of Kings , as a power too Arbitrary for them , they were cunningly drawn in to a subjection to that of Imperator , which was ten times more Tyrannick of the two , and shelter'd the Cruelties of the worst of Monsters , a Nero and a Caligula : So that in our circumstances , 't is almost impossible that English men should be twice gull'd with the same Cheat , or their Swords be ever drawn in our old unnatural Broyls ; but if ever that day shall come that they are drawn again , it must be onely then when a Popish Successour's possessing the Throne shall represent to them a more terrible Scene of Misery than a Civil War can bring : so that if ever they are inflamed into that desperation , it must be when they shall run headlong into a less Charybis to avoid a greater Scylla . But whether one be greater or less than t'other , or they but think it so , yet this is most certain , Popery and Rebellion are both those dangerous Gulphs that will either of them swallow up the peace of England . And as 't is unanswerably true , that the glory of God , the defence of our Lives and Liberties , and the support of our present Monarchy of England , are onely to be upheld by a Protestant Interest , and that Interest is never to be effectually secured but by a Popish Exclusion : So that Exclusion likewise at the same time puts an end to all our dangers on the other side , viz. to all thoughts or possibility of a Rebellion . But to give a truer account of the present State of England than Mr. L'Estrange has done in affinity to 41 , I will confess this present Age has derived one thing from 41 and 42 , and that is a Curse they left behind 'em , the Curse of the Shepherds Boy in the Fable ; our crying out so often formerly , Help , Master , help , the Wolf 's in the Shepfold , when he was not there , has made us disbelieved at last now he is there ; and like him too , be left most helpless when we most want it . Postscript . THE Author of The Character of a Popish Successour was so far from priding himself upon that Piece , that his greatest Ambition in writing it , was the serving his Country ; and he 's very well pleased to see so many Scions since sprung from that Root . But one particular Acknowledgment he is bound to make for the unexpected Favours it has received , that the Authorship of a Book that has no other Merit than the Truths it relates should be so esteemed , that coming Fatherless into the World , it has since had the honour of so many kinde Friends , that like the Rival Cities of old for the Birth of Homer , have given it their Adoption . THE CHARACTER OF A Popish Successour COMPLEAT . THE first Allegation Mr. L'Estrange makes against the Characterizer's Reasonings is , That his Master-piece is a Paradox , by the supposal of a most excellent person , and yet making him the greater Devil for his Vertues ; and so he sums up the Characterizer's opinion in short thus : Ch. His Fortitude ( says he ) makes him the more daring in the Cause of Rome ; his Iustice makes it a point of Conscience to deliver us up to the Pope ; his Temperance in the government of his Passions , makes him more close and steady ; and his Prudence crowns the work by the assistance it gives him in the management of his Policies and Conduct ; and so he goes on . What boots it in a Popish Heir to say , he 's the truest Friend , the greatest of Hero's , the best of Masters , the justest Judge , and the honestest of Men ? All meer treacherous Quick-sands for a People to repose the least glimps of Safety in , or build the least Hopes upon . Thus much the Character . To which he answers , This is fairly push'd , I must consess ; but 't is onely a Cast of his Rhetorick : for every body knows that all Christian Princes thus qualified , and under Articles of Treaty and Agreement , keep touch even with Infidels , nay , and Infidels with Christians . This is all he has in his whole Pamphlet in answer to this part of the Character : for he thinks he has made the Characterizer's whole Argument so plain a contradiction in its self , that he needs no other Brand than his own words , to stigmatize him ; and the very repetition of a Supposition so monstrous , is its own confutation . But this on our Answerers part is not so fairly push'd : for thus far here 's neither Rhetorick nor Reason . For what Relation can Christian Princes keeping touch with Infidels , and Infidels with Christians , upon Articles of Treaty and Agreement , have to a Popish Successour's Tyranny and Injustice over his own Subjects ? Does it follow , Because the French King upon Articles of Treaty and Agreement , has kept touch with the Swede , though the most inveterate Enemy of the Popish Religion perhaps of any Protestant Prince in Christendom , and consequently the most opposite to his own perswasion , that therefore he has not overleap'd all the due and lawful bounds of the French Government , and tyrannically enslaved his People ; nay , contrary to the solemn Covenant at Nants in behalf of the Hugonots , most inhumanely persecuted the poor Protestants ? What if a Christian Prince keeps his Articles with Turks or Infidels , nay Villains and Robbers , the Pyrates of Argiers or Sally ? Nay , what if Q. Mary her self had done as much , must it therefore follow that she would not break her Vows and Protestations with the Norfolk and Suffolk-inhabitants , and burn the very men that mounted her into her Throne , when animated by the Withcrafts of Rome ? But that the Fidelity betwixt Prince and Prince may more plainly appear to hold no proportion or affinity with that betwixt Prince and People ; or foreign Articles either for the enlargement or security of Empire , the promotion of Trade , or any other State-interest , with a Church-government or Church-persecution at home , we shall give this undeniable Reason . A King for breach of Faith with his People , esteems himself onely accountable to God ; but for breach of Faith with Foreign Princes , either Christian or Infidels , he is accountable to Man , and may draw down a just War upon his head for such a Violation ; nay , perhaps wholly dispossess himself of the hopes of Foreign Assistance for the future in his greatest dangers and exigences , occasion'd by the stain such Infidelity may lay upon him , when his more venial breach of Vows at home , shall be no blot in his Scutcheon . And whereas here he 's onely answerable to God , what if his Priests , as in Queen Mary's Case , impose so far upon his blinded Zeal till they make him believe that the performance of Protestations in cases derogatory to the glory of Heaven , and against the propagation of Christianity , shall be more answerable to God than the breaking of them ? But Mr. L'Estrange resolves to play the State-Sophister , and gives us this tryal of his strength in his very first page , to let us know how great a Casuist and how potent an Antagonist we must expect to find him . But here the other Answerer is a little more prolix upon this subject , and tells the Characterizer , That in a Roman Catholick he makes Virtues themselves turn Vices , and equals if not outgoes Transubstantiation it self . And to justifie the four Cardinal Virtues from the Characterizer's making them an Instrument of our Destruction , he assignes 'em a quite contrary operation in a Popish Successour than that in the Character , viz. If he has Fortitude , which is a Vertue equally distant from Temerity and Rashness , as from Fear and Cowardize , it will with-hold him from attempting things impossible ; as setting up Arbitrary Power , or introducing Popery . If he be a man of Iustice , that should give us the greater assurance that his Courage shall be no otherwise exercised than for our Safety and Honour , to whom all his endeavours by all the Laws both Humane and Divine are due , and to which he shall be by Oath obliged . But here by the way , I could have wish'd our Author had left out the word [ Divine ; ] for those hearty endeavours the Divine Laws of a Popish Successour will instruct him to exercise for the Safety and Honour of a Heretick Nation and Heretick Religion , we are better inform'd of . But to proceed , If he 's a Master of Temperance , what is that but a Bridle upon all his Excesses , a perpetual Bosom-Monitor that will with-hold his Arm and allay his Heat , and curb all the motions of Cruelty and Revenge ? And lastly , if he has Prudence , that will teach him not to exasperate a People of so stiff a Neck , nor lose the hearts of his Subjects for their difference of opinion , and thereby peradventure endanger the loss of his Crown , &c. Now this Author I confess has push'd a little fairer than t'other ; for he has given us an Argument that looks like Sence , though it be none : for what 's all this to the conduct of an inflexible Papist ? The Characterizer tells us , that in a Bigotted Prince , his Morals shall be Slaves to his Zeal ; and accordingly instances how far they shall be instrumental to the Protestant subversion and destruction : But here the Answerer artfully leaves out the main point , and tells us what a meer moral man would do , in case of succeeding to the Crown of England . He mounts the poor Postilion into the Saddle , and tells us how his meer Morality would drive ; but takes no notice of that Lordly Charioteer , Religion , that holds the Reins above him , whose nod he obeys , and at whose absolute command he turns either to the right or the left . So that as this Answerer has stated the case , I am thus far of his mind , That had we an Heir apparent of no more Religion than a Iulian or a Nero , and yet at the same time were compleatly Master of the moral Virtues , possibly he might steer as he proposes : but let him recollect himself , and put Popery and Morals together , and then he 'll find his mistake . For my part , I am asham'd that any men that pretend to write Sence , should endeavour to perswade us that a Popish Bigot , and a man of courage and wisdom in a Successour , should not go farther towards the establishing of Popery , than a Coward and a Fool ; so that not onely his Morals , but every other natural Gift or Perfection , shall be particularly assistant to the Ruine both of Protestant Religion and Liberty . But because Example is more powerful than Precept , I 'll give you a taste of the Popish Morals in a very remarkable Story . Soon after the selling of Dunkirk , from which time the poor Protestants in France date the AEra of their Calamities , it being about that time that the French King began to disturb their Peace , infringe their Liberties , and demolish their Churches , contrary to all the sacred Bonds of the solemn Engagement at Nants ; the distress'd Hugonots groaning beneath a greater load of Misery than any of the rest of the French Subjects , their fellow-slaves , under the persecution of his new Ashtaroth Arbitrary power , thought fit privately to implore the intercession of a powerful Neighbour , a Protestant Monarch , to mediate in their behalf in mitigation of the French King 's unchristian-like severity ; and accordingly chose a very honest and wise man , by name Rohux , an Inhabitant of Nisme in Languedock , for this secret Embassie , as being a person formerly very fortunate in England before on the like occasion , having obtain'd a lucky Favour from Cromwel in reconciliation of a difference betwixt the French Protestants and Cardinal Mazarine . This Rohux thus commission'd , the approach to Majesty being difficult , to make his Access more easie , applies himself first to a visibly Protestant Heir apparent , hoping to strengthen the power of his own Supplications by the introduction and countenance of so great and so princely an Advocate . This Royal Heir or Masquerader , or by what other Title disguis'd or distinguish'd , with a seeming-cordial Friendship embraces the poor Hugonots Cause , and day after day receives his Address with many solemn but airy promises of speedy Assistance ; but in the mean time , disgusted and gall'd to the Soul at so audacious and impious a Petition as the Protestant preservation , and abhorring so detestable an Employment , nay , the very name of the Hereticks Defender , instead of his promis'd Aid , he on the contrary most cunningly laid the Platform of a Revenge as exquisite as so heinous a Petition deserv'd . Immediately he goes to the French Embassadour , and tells him how one of the French Subjects had very arrogantly and scandalously calumniated his great Master with obprobrious names of Tyranny , Oppression , and breach of Faith ; into which very Language he himself before had exasperated him , on purpose to make his Ruine secure , which the bare accusation of a Suit in behalf of his Religion , would not alone have effected . The Embassadour , as bound in duty , for the vindication of his King's Honour , desires a farther testimony of the Offence and Offender : Which the Royal Informer effectually gives him , by appointing another Conference with Rohux ; where privately he plants this Kingly Representative as an Honourable Evesdropper , to over-hear a Repetition of the whole Discourse , and confirm his Belief from his own Ears . Now some people would start an Objection , and say , That this humble Office and low-spirited Snare against the life of a poor wretch , might derogate from the Glory of two such Illustrious Personages ; the one for the greatness of his Employment , and the other the greatness of his Birth . But to remove their mistake , I assure 'em there is not that Deed so abject , when acted for the Cause of Rome , that cannot be transform'd into Princely and Heroick , by the stupendious power of that infallible Church , where even Daggers and Ponyards admit of Consecration . But to return to our History . This Conference contrived and managed as heart could with , the Embassadour posts over this Rohux Treachery to France , whilst he , poor unsuspecting Innocence , continues his dayly Prayers to his Great Advocate . But finding in time so many delatory Demurs , he luckily at last discovers he is betray'd : Upon which , dreading the Vengeance of the French King , not daring to return to France , he steals away into Switzerland for his protection ; but the French King being advertised of his Motions , gets him trepan'd by an Ambsuscade in the night , and being by surprize forced out from thence into France , he is broken upon the Wheel . Now who so blind as cannot but plainly see that each particular Cardinal Virtue in this Illustrious Heroe , were most signally exercised in this Triumphant Encounter ? First , here was Courage even to admiration ; he play'd the Romish Champion young , and early flush'd himself in Heretick Bloud , whilst like a second Alcides , who strangled Snakes even in his Cradle , he most victoriously tore up that Heart by the roots whose Tongue durst but hiss against the Papal Dignity , as the first bold Prologue of his more undaunted Atchievements , and more dazling Glories yet to come . Then here was Iustice to the height ; an impudent French Villain as he was , to cross the Seas on so infamous a Commission as the Rebuilding of the Hugonot-Temples , those Altars of Baal , which the God-like hand of France had so justly laid in Ruine ? an Impiety so hainous as forfeited both Life and Soul , and deserved the severest Rods and Axes of Justice : He deserv'd 'em , and he had ' em . Then here was Temperance even to astonishment ; here was no launching into Passion , no Thunder in his Tongue , nor Basilisks in his Eyes , at the surprize of so execrable a Petition as the imploring his Intercession for the loath'd Hereticks Deliverance : Alas , no , his Temperance , like a Bosom-Monster ( as our Author has it ) bridled all those Excesses , and treated this notorious Suppliant with those hearty professions of kindness , and promis'd services , till he betray'd his bones to the Wheel , with a Conduct and Aspect so moderate and so serene , as the old Romans lead their Victims with Flowers and Garlands to their Execution . Then here was Prudence beyond example ; first , in inflaming the poor French-man into declamations and detractions against the Majesty of France , thereby to manage his Tragedy more artfully , by making him receive the Blow from the hands of the Temporal not Ecclesiastical Justice , as dying more for a Traytor than a Heretick : for though , 't is true , the last was Crime sufficient , yet lest the ill-judging world might mistake , and not think so , he was wisely noosed into one Crime , to pull down the Vengeance due to the other . But what 's the greatest Prudence of all yet , this politick Heroe all this while was a visible Member of the Protestant Church , knelt at our Altars , joyn'd in our Prayers , and shared in our Sacrament and Communion . But one thing I had almost forgotten ; the unknown Answerer , to prepare us for the more firm security that a Popish Successour's Cardinal Virtues shall keep that Honourable and indeed Innocent Path that he has traced out for him , he makes a very long Harangue in praise of his adored Mecoenas . First , for his Courage , That his Royal Bloud ( as often as his King or Countries Honour or Safety called upon him ) was ever as dangerously and as freely exposed , as that which fills the veins of the vilest Plebeian , &c , And why not ? since it is no such wondrous Novelty for even crown'd heads themselves personally to fight their own Battels : I cannot think it any great condescention in a Prince ( at that time not altogether so visible an Heir apparent ) to accept of the Admiralty of an English Navy ; an Employment , where the Glory of it does more than reward the Hazard . So that as I take it , his own Honour as well as his Countries , call'd upon him . After this , he passes to another branch of Princely Endowments , viz. That his Friendships have ever been as firmly maintain'd , as they were judiciously chosen : That his Mouth and his Heart have always been so true to one another , that his Word has been as inviolate as the Oaths of others : And this noble Constancy has not been the effect so much of his Honour as his Conscience , &c. Without all doubt : Yet I have heard a very odde Story of one Mr. Coleman that tipt over the pearch about a year or two ago . I fancy I could draw a Picture with this Label in his mouth , There is no Faith in Man , so like him , you 'd scarce know one from t'other : Nay , poor Iack Catch shall cry out shame of all such usage . There was not that poorest Rogue of all the Plot-Martyrs , that had not two or three Guinneys at least at his service , to bribe him to use a gentle hand with them and hang 'em out of pain , before he made minced Meat of them . But Coleman was so trepan'd into Pluto's Court , came so unprepared for the Elysian-shades , that he that had been Master of the Purses both of the French and English Monsieurs too , when he came to cross the Stygian Lake , had not so much as one poor Obelus to pay his Ferriman's Fare . Durum est post omnia perdere naulum . And methinks this was a little unkindly done ; yet upon second thoughts , possibly it might be contrived for his good . Flesh and Bloud is frail , and who knows but he might have had humane thoughts about him , and so have fallen from the holy Cause ; which careful Mother Church , for the salvation of his Soul , in her pious and Christian wisdom , thought fit to prevent , by making a Saint of him without his knowledge : And alas , he was shrewdly hurt , was he not ? to be tript up into Heaven , and cheated into Immortality . But here I cannot omit one remarkable Observation of Mr. L'Estrange's , pag. 38. speaking of this Princes former services to his Country ; where he says , Mr. L'E . I find some people of opinion , that this King in Reversion , is of the same Perswasion at this day , that he was when he acquired all those Glories . Now if there be such a sort of people , and so strong a Faith in the world , I would willingly be instructed what They , or Mr. L'Estrange for them , mean by Perswasion . If the Popish perswasion , then they justifie the severest Reflections in the whole Character , and lay that unprincely and unchristian Disguise at his door of kneeling at our Altars , and participating of our Sacraments with all the meanest and basest Hypocrisie imaginable ; little less than dipping in the Dish , and drinking of the Cup , and kissing where he betray'd . But if they mean the Protestant perswasion , of which Communion he then visibly was ▪ and they will be but so kind as to prove him a Protestant still , I assure them the Author shall burn his Character , and make a publick Recantation for his Mistake ; but at the same time they must give him leave to write another tentimes bitterer than the first : For he that can suppose a Prince really and truly a Protestant , that shall for so many years together withdraw from his own Communion , and that too not onely so manifestly against his Interest , but against the very Dictates of his Conscience , the Duty of his Religion , and the Glory of his God ; thereby to exasperate and embroil a whole Nation in Distractions , to inflame and widen all our Divisions , and in short , to put out both his own Eyes to put out one of his Brothers ; and all this for just nothing , except a meer Humour , a letchery of doing Mischief for no other end or purpose but meer Mischiefs sake , is a character of that unparallel'd Ingratitude , and indeed all that 's ill together , that I hope Earth nere bore , nor Hell ere punisht : for I should be sorry to think it possible there could be such a Creature in nature ; neither am I a little sorry to think there is a people in the world that can fancy there is such a one . I confess , the withdrawing from our Communion upon the change of Opinions , may admit of some Apology ; and our ill circumstances under that Change , are not altogether so wonderful . Now after this Answerer has sum'd up all his matchless Virtues , he tells you in short , How improbable a thing it would be , how contradictory to Reason and common Sence , that the difference of a mans opinion about some few disputable matters of Faith , and not very material Ceremonies of Divine Worship , should on a sudden efface all those good Characters of Magnanimity and Iustice , Generosity and Goodness , not slightly traced , but deeply engraved in his Breast . Here the Reader may observe what a good Protestant the Author is , and how prettily he states the little disparity betwixt the Protestant and Popish Faith , differing onely in some few disputable matters of Faith , and not very material Ceremonies of Divine Worship . As for example : The Deifying of Wafers , the Idolizing of Images , the Invocation of Saints , and making the Milk of a Mary almost of as great vertue as the Bloud of a Iesus ; with twenty other Trifles and inconsiderable Ceremonies . For my part , I would not be he that at Cadice or Salamanca should make no more difference betwixt the Divine Worship of Holy Church and that of Heretick Dogs , for fear the Lords of the Inquisition should make some material Ceremony with me , and treat me with a Cauldron of scalding Oyl for my Entertainment . But perhaps our Answerer durst say twice as much , if he were there ; for no doubt but they know him so well , that they 'd pardon his Railery , and take it for but a copy of his Countenance . But whatever our Author's Religion is , his Memory is none of the best ; for within three leaves after this , he quite forgets himself , and unluckily compares the difference between the two Religions in haec Verba . This Idolatrous Superstition has been so long worn off the minds of the People , and the Reformation so deeply and so strongly rooted in the Reigns of four most religious and prudent Princes ; the Church of England so firmly establisht , and that as much by the purity of its Doctrine , the decency of its Discipline , and the innocency of its Principles , as by the Authority of the Publick and the Laws of the Land. The Romish Church so detested both for the dangerous Innovations of its Doctrine , and the Idolatry of its Ceremonies ; and so odious in the eyes of the People for its pernicious Principles express'd in the villanous practices of its Professors in Massacres and Plots , &c. But our Answerer's Ingenuity can answer all this , and tell you , What though their Ceremonies are so idolatrous , their Innovations so dangerous , their Principles so pernicious , their Plots so odious , their Massacres so barbarous , and their Professors so villanous ? yet a Popish Heir presumptive professing the same Superstition , shall be a Lamb , a Dove , a Saint amongst us upon occasion , and that too for his Reasons above-said : For as he told you before , he is a person of Royal Bloud , loves his Friend , is a man of Courage , and a Prince , and has been an Admiral . A thundering Demonstration of a peaceable Popish Innocence ! Three more such unconfutable Arguments are enough to convert the Turk , and bring in the Jews . But now from these infallible Morals in our Heir presumptive , the great Bulwark against all our Fears , this unknown Author concludes both our Protestant Religion and Laws secure under him ; that the present Constitution of Government , and the present Church of England , must and shall , in spite of Fate , continue unshaken . If the Popish Priests are such Incendiaries ( says he ) and our most potent Enemies , have we not Laws against them ? and then why are we in such fear ? What is left to any Monarch that succeeds , but to execute the Laws be finds derived down to him to maintain and preserve together with his Crown and Dignity ? And though the Characterizer seems to be in so much dread of those swarms of Roman Emissaries that will infest us under the connivance and indulgence of a Popish Successour , he tells you he is quite mistaken ; The Reign of a Popish King will be so far from advantageous , that it will be rather destructive to all those Iesuitical Instruments ; and that it shall be so , 't is in the power of every Subject in the three Kingdoms to be a defender of the Protestant Religion , if it want it ; there being no Information , no Conviction of Recusants , no Administration of Tests or Oaths , that shall be wanting , and no diligence that shall be spared , backt by the Laws of the Land , which then more than ever will be wakened against them , which can't be dispenc'd withal , but must be effectual to the utter ruine of the whole Party . Miracles and Prodiges ! And that there shall be nothing wanting on the Kings part to do all this , this worthy Author is pleased to be his Guarrantee , assuring us in his Name , that he will take care to let the Laws have their due course ; And whatever his private Opinion may be , whatever tenderness he may bear to the persons be shall punish , yet he shall remember his Obligation to the publick , so far as to give 'em up to the hands of Iustice with the same constancy of mind , with the same applauses of present and commendation of all succeeding Ages , that the immortal Brutus delivered up his darling Sons to the Rods and Axes of the Lictours , &c. I , here 's a stupendious Character of a Popish Successour indeed ! What Iö Paeans might England sing , if Rome's long hope , their Churches Champion and Restorer , their hopeful Hercules , would build his Columnes and write his Nil plus ultra here ! But alas , we are deceived , his Labours are to come ; there 's a pestilent contagious Northern Heresie to be rooted out ; that many headed Beast of Errors and Schisms , that like Cerberus and Hydra , are to be subdued , whilst in the defence of Religion and the Cause of God , he 's to play a second Atlas , and even the weight of Heaven is to lie on his shoulders . But our Oratorical Scribler has promis'd Wonders in a Popish Successours Name , and elegantly pickt out a most excellent Brutus for his Comparison . I remember there was another Roman of that Name , though not of that Nature , whose Story is equally as famous and as pertinent to the matter in hand . A Brutus the Head and Leader of a Conspiracy against the life of the great Caesar ; a Brutus that joyn'd his heart and hand with the Murderers , and blended his Dagger in the Assassination amongst the thirty mortal wounds that stab'd the Majesty of the World ; a Brutus to whom the dying Monarch with an Astonishment more surprizing than the death he received , in his last gasp could say , Et tu Brute ? Is my Son , my Friend , my Darling , my Delight , the man I have rais'd , loved , honour'd , cherisht and defended , is Brutus a Traytor ? But to bring our Author to his right wits again , and to shew him how unlikely 't is that the English Rods or Axes shall ever hurt a Son of Rome under a Romish Successour . If the Popish or Jesuitish party have found such Mercy under the Reigns of Protestant Kings , but shall now on the contrary stand the inevitable shock of Statutes , Jayls , and Gibbets , under a Popish King , the Jesuits have plotted fairly . If the Pope and his Conclave have no deeper politicks than this comes to , the very Geese that kept thir Capitol before them , had more Brains than they . If this were the effect of their hopeful Royal Heirs Conversion , Heaven help 'em , for Hell has forsaken ' em . No , Mr. Littleplot , once in thy life thou art mistaken ; and to convince thee that the Protestant Laws will not , nay shall not be so hard-hearted under his Reign , nor his St. Omers Friends treated so coursly as thou imaginest , they have had a little taste of their kinder Entertainment before hand . For Example : Were there a Country where Commissions of Peace , day after day , and time out of mind , have been taken away for daring but to lift a hand against a Son of Rome ; nay , at the same time when all other Recusants have been prosecuted , and that with encouragement and reward ; and all by a Royal Heir's protection and interest . Would not any Reader reply , Will he that has been their Guardian-Angel whilst but their fellow-Subject , suffer a hair of their heads to perish when he 's their King ? But yet our new Sir Positive will defend our Protestant Laws even in despight of Fate , and tell you , That Justice shall guide her hand so impartially , and poise her scales so evenly , as shall be to the admiration of present and succeeding Ages . Now I fancy I have heard a Tryal , where a Criminal of Quality convicted of no less a Crime than the subornation and stifling of Evidence , and in no less a Case than where the life of the King , and the subversion both of Religion and Government were concern'd , has been mulkt in the inconsiderable sum of a hundred pound , payable perhaps at latter Lammas ; a meer trifle , and scarce more than a Peter-peny for an Absolution : Whilst in the other extream there has been a poor Fellow condemn'd to the Pillory , Imprisonment , and five hundred pound fine , ten times more than he was worth in the world , for publishing a scandalous reflecting line in a Pamphlet ; much less offensive in my simple opinion , than a Dagger to kill Kings and subvert States . And pray , where will our Protestant Laws be ? and what even Ballances is Justice like to have under the full-grown Scepter of a Popish Successour , if his influence is so potent in his Minority ? No , a Rhadamanth for an Astraea must be the best of our expectations at that black day . Alas , the See of Rome is like the old Lake of Sodom , the lightest Feather that offends it , sinks in it ; but to its darling Catholick Champions , 't is a Lake of liquid Gold , where , incircled round in Wealth , Glory , and Preferments , the heaviest massiest bars of Iron , Swords , Daggers , Poniards , float on the glittering surface of Honour , and swim securely . Nay , I would ask any reasonable man , That if the Jesuits hellish Machination against the Kings life had taken effect , whether 't is likely that they feared smarting for 't either in this world or the next , as dreading a Vengeance temporal or eternal ? No doubt but they had fairer hopes than so ; for had their execrable Blow succeeded , the blood of Majesty might in all probability have found the same inquisition as the firing of London : Or if at worst the world would not have been so satisfied , were not the Fanatick shoulders broad enough to bear both the guilt and the punishment ? Alas , 't was but at worst reviving an old experienced shift , a known pia Fraus for a Recovery . Has not the Gunpowder-Treason ( poor innocent Papists ! ) been a thousand times affirm'd a Plot of Cecils ? Has not our late designe against both King , Religion , and Government , in contradiction of the unanimous Voice of the whole Nation in Parliament , been confidently retorted upon the Presbyterians ; and that too without the least proof or shadow for 't ? And then how easily might the Papal policy have made a Popish Murder a Fanatick Stab ? and so by the borrow'd face of Innocence , have most triumphantly play'd the second part of Amboyna , and have sheath'd the false Sword in the false Murderers heart , whilst the true Dagger had been consecrated , and the real Traytor canoniz'd . Thus wisely did the prudent Nero lay his burning of Rome at the poor innocent Christians doors , and then with all the most exquisite studied Cruelties , made the Christian bones rue for what the Infidels hand had perpetrated . But to return to our Author , I will refer him to some modern Records , more applicable to our purpose than the History of his immortal Brutus . Have we not lately perus'd whole scrowls of Letters from our Saint Secretary Coleman to French Confessours , French Ministers , and all for French Interest ; and as many Rome-wards bound to Jesuits , Cardinals , and Pope himself , fraught with golden Mountains , and promis'd Miracles to be acted by the Royal — for Rome's Glory , Catholick Cause , and Mother Church : And will any person of common sense believe that our trusty and well-beloved Secretary promis'd more in the name of Al. than Al. would perform . And were all those sums of money to be return'd from France to England to be laid out onely in Rosaries , Beades , and Crucifixes . Believe it who can ; for for my part I am an Infidel . Alas no , our hopeful English Son of Mars , that modern Achilles , without whose Arm our Protestant Troy could never fall , was no doubt to have been brought over to Rome's Holy War , as once the old Achilles to the Grecian . The subtle France , like the cunning Vlysses , plays not the Pedler with such small Wares , such effeminate Toys and Trifles ; but wisely hides a sparkling Sword amongst those guil'ded Bawbles , a Sword , a Temptation fit for a valiant Masquerader ; an Instrument worthy Rome's Hero. Besides , have we no Records but Coleman's ? Have we not had whole Pacquets from Al. Al. Al. to that Priest , this Jesuit , and t'other Cardinal ; but more especially with Commendations to his Holiness , his Adored Holiness ; and all wisely and artificially coucht in CHARACTERS ? And can any man , with half the brains of a Woodcock , believe that they were all but so many How do ye's ; or some idle Compliment onely to beg a Chip of the Cross , or a Rag of the Virgins Petticoat ? If the designes of Al. were honourable , why an Intrigue betwixt the Heir of a Protestant Kingdom , and the profest and greatest Enemy of our Religion and Liberties ? Or if that Commerce between 'em could by any extorted supposition , or upon any pretence whatever , be imagined to be innocent , why was the whole Correspondence disguised in RIDDLES and in CHARACTERS ? Why in such mystick Cloathing , those fraudulent Missives of Hell , and the usual notorious Masks of Villanies , Treasons , and Conspiracies . Now from this Testimony , I would ask if it be reasonable to suppose that the Protestant Religion and Liberty , and the Laws of that wilde Boar Harry the Eighth , and his Daughter Bess that She-devil , will be defended by a Popish Successour , when in defending of them he must rob both the Church and God himself of their Right ; and as much as in him lies , strike his Dagger into the sacred Gates of Rome , and dart a Javelin at the very heart of Christs own Vicar , and Gods undeniable Representative ; and at the same minute be obliged to dayly Outrages , nay Butcheries too upon the very persons of Gods Elect , the Pillars of Religion , and the very Successours of the Apostles themselves ? A pretty kind of Law , that shall oblige him to commit at once both Murder and Sacriledge ; and all this , forsooth , in defence of a Religion , as they 'll swear for 't , sprung from Harry the Eighth's Codpiece , maintain'd and preacht onely by a pack of Reprobate Rascals , a Bastard-sort of Priests ordain'd by the by at the Nagshead-Tavern . — I , but there lies his Honour and Coronation Oath in the way to a Crown , that shall oblige him to do all this . And so if there lay a knot of Thieves in a mans way home , that should compel him to engage and promise 'em to meet 'em such a day with a good Horse under him , and a good pair of Pistols before him , to take the Rode with them , and rob and murder in their company . A pretty piece of Honour that , and a strange point of Conscience , that shall tye him to keep his word with them ! Let us but rightly consider ; is it to be conceived that the Pope with all his wisdom and politicks , will ever be guilty of so much Ill-husbandry as to make no better Emprovement of such a pretty spot of Ground as England , when he has once retrieved it again into his own Hucksters hands , a Popish Successours possession , as to let it lie waste still , because it has lain so for so many Ages last past , with scarce any thing more upon it than a parcel of rank Weeds and Thistles that have been running up to Seed for above a hundred years together ? Perswade him to it , if you can . I will onely refer my Reader , for his diversion , but to one short passage in the above-named printed Pacquets of Letters , where his transported Holiness , at the receipt of a comfortable line or two from a very good Hand , and as 't is to be imagined , a true and trusty Friend , is said to have Wept for Ioy. Now I would seriously ask my Reader , if he believes those precious Tears , that sanctified Brine , that , like Aaron's Ointment , trickled down the Beard of the Reverend Sire , dropt at the hearing of no better News , and at the prospect of no fairer hopes than this . My life for yours , there was no such meaning in it . No ; for once I 'll give you a better KEY for those CHARACTERS : Our Protestant Sun , 't was hoped , was near setting when that Dew fell . From this we come to the power of a Coronation-Oath with a Popish Successour ; and there our Answerers are extraordinary vehement against the Character for averring , That if the Popish Religion will absolve Subjects from their Allegiance to an Heretical King , why may it not release a King from his Faith to an Heretical excommunicated People . Upon which , Mr. L'Estrange remarks , Mr. L'E . Take it for granted , there 's no trusting to the Oath of a Roman Catholick Prince , and ye cut the very Ligaments of Society and Commerce . There 's an end of all Treaties and Alliances , amicable and mutual Offices betwixt Christian Princes and States . Nay , in one word , erect but this Maxime , you turn Europe into a Shambles , and put Christendom without any more ado into a state of War , &c. Though by the way , all this makes nothing to his purpose : for Treaties , Alliances , and Commerce betwixt Christian Princes and States , have no Affinity with a Princes keeping Faith with his People upon the account of Religion ; as had been proved before . But from this he goes on , and says , Mr. L'E . I am not ignorant yet , either of the Doctrine , or of the practice of several profligate wretches of the Roman Communion , in this impious particular : But they are such then that are wholly lost in Brutality and Blindness ; and I neither do nor can believe all Papists to be equally susceptible of that unchristian Impression . It is a Position that may be made use of at a dead lift to serve a political turn : And the Trick will not pass neither , but upon some enthusiastick sick-headed Zealot , that takes all his Dreams for Visions , and the vapours of his Distempers for Revelations . Now in my apprehension , never did any man so forget himself as Mr. L'Estrange has done here : He believes here , that that unchristian Impression , as the Allowance of Perjury , is onely the Tenet of some profligate wretches wholly lost in Brutality and Blindness . But at the latter end of his Book , pag. 83. he down-right contradicts that belief , and says , Mr. L'E . Pope Pius Quintus absolved the Subjects of Queen Elizabeth from all their Oaths of Allegiance to her for ever . So that now belike it was not onely the Maxime of the above-said profligate wretches , but even of the Great Successour of Peter , and the Voice of Infallibility it self ; and that too not the product of Blindness and Brutality upon Dreams and Vapours , but the deliberate Act and Decree of the Imperial See of Rome . I could make several other instances in this kind , as the Popes absolving the Subjects from their Allegiance to K. Iohn , &c. but 't is the common Theme of all Pens , and so much the known practice and principle of their Popes through all Ages , that I shall not think it worth my while . Besides , Mr. L'Estrange forgets himself a little further in this point , and says in the same 83 page , That the Romish Iesuit holds that Dominion is founded in Grace , and upon that principle deposes Protestant Princes , &c. Then adds , That the Pope may deprive a King of his Royal Dignity for Heresie , Schism , &c. ( as in the Bishop of Lincoln 's Popish Principles . p. 20. ) and after Excommunication , says Mariana , in case of obstinacy , the people may take away his life . After these Affirmations of Mr. L'Estrange , if these are the principles of the Pope and Jesuit , I hope we may safely conclude , That they that set such little value on the sacred Dignity and Persons of Kings themselves , when once attainted with Heresie , that not onely their Crowns are forfeited , but their very Lives lie exposed to the fury and hand of every vile Plebeian , should in all reason set less on the Rights , Priviledges , and Lives of Subjects under the same Attainder : for no doubt , if Heresie can make a forfeiture in the first , the Devil 's in 't if it does not in the last . So that by his leave , where 's all the Oaths , Honour , and all the Mighty and Illustrious Attributes he gives our Popish Successour in vindication of the Protestant Peace and security under him , whilst these are the principles not onely of the Jesuits that seduced him , but of the very Head of his Church , that Lord God the Pope ? But according to his first belief , if this were really the opinion of some Doctors , but not all , he would do well to prove that Father Patrick , that curst Incendiary of all our Distractions , was not one of those Affirmative Doctors , and Benningfield his successour another of them . No doubt the subtle Rome in converting our Heir presumptive , did not bound its ambition in the gaining one single Soul , but the recovery of a Kingdom was their designe . In his conversion they had brought their long Hopes to a perfection , they had found that second Moses , who under the God-like influence of Rome , like a Cloud by day , and a Pillar of fire by night , should guide and lead 'em through all opposition and all dangers to their beloved Canaan , a Land that flows with Milk and Honey , Rome's old Treasure-house , that dear Puteus Inexhaustus , England . And is it to be imagined , if Fides non est tenenda cum Haereticis were ever in request , it should be wanting now , on so glorious an occasion ; or so inconsiderable a Trifle as a Coronation Oath should blast so forward and so sacred a Designe . And if , as he confesses , that Tenet is onely made use of to serve a political turn , I would gladly be inform'd what greater or more political turn it could serve , than for the Conversion of England , that great Work which the unknown Answerer tells us , Has , like China , been a hundred years a ripening . But here our Answerers continue , and assure us we need have no fear of any such prejudice in that case from our Popish Heir , considering , as Mr. L'Estrange says , Mr. L'E . If he could so scandalously play the Hypocrite as to change his shape at that rate as the Character says , and act any part for his advantage , which Rome or Rome's Interest shall impose upon him , what should have hinder'd him from continuing a Protestant to the Eye of the World , though a Papist in his heart ? since that was the onely means to have gain'd him his point . And as the other Answerer enlarges upon it , If out of the conscience of an Oath , and the Obligation he believ'd was in it , he has already parted with the places of the greatest Honour and Profit in the Kingdom , is it likely he 'll ever have a less veneration for that most religious one he must take at his Coronation ? Or is it likely if he had made no scruple of an Oath , he would have refused it at a time when he might have removed all suspicions and Iealousies of his Religion by it , and thereby have facilitated his way to a Throne ? Now I wonder to what Readers these Authors write , that at this time of day they would make us believe that his squeamishness against the Test and the Oath of Supremacy , made our consciencious Heir quit his honourable Employments ! As we better remember ▪ 't was not so much the Test , as the Test-makers , that disgusted him , his natural antipathy to Parliaments , his continual little thoughts of that Great Council , ( and less of them he will have , if ever he comes to the Crown ) with his disdain that such insolent Earth and Ashes should dare to give Laws to his Divinity . So that in short , his Pride , not Conscience , got the Ascendant ; and whatever advantages he might have gain'd by keeping his Employments and swallowing the Oaths , yet such is his perverse and stubborn Haughtiness , that he would rather cry , Sink Interest , perish Succession , and even Popedom it self , rather than truckle to what I scorn . But Mr. L'Estrange , methinks , of all men should be farthest from supposing it a difficulty in a Papist to take an Oath he never intends to perform , when in the 4th page of his Book he grants the very Protestants themselves , nay the Church of England Protestants , upon occasion , may do the like : Where he says , Mr. L'E . In the case of a Popish King , who is either kept out or driven out from the Exercise of his Right by the tumultuary License of the Rabble , an Oath of Abjuration in case of any fair opportunity for him to assert his Claim with his Sword in his hand , will be so far from engaging any man against him , that yielded contrary to his Conscience to swallow it for the saving of his Stake , that he will find no firmer Friends to his Cause or Interest , than those men that are stimulated both by Honour and Revenge to the execution of their Duties . Now by those firm English Friends that may take this Abjuration-Oath against their Consciences , he cannot mean the Fanaticks ; for they 'tis supposed are the Drivers out , that impose this Oath . Besides , Mr. L'Estrange is so far from believing that Party capable of coming under the denomination of a Popish Successour's Friends , that on the contrary it has been the drift of almost all his Pamphlets to prove them his onely implacable Enemies . Neither can those firm Friends here mentioned , be understood the Popish Party ; for upon the supposition of this tumultuary driving out of the Popish Heir from his Right , 't is likewise to be concluded that Party will most of them share in his Fate ; that there will be very few of them left to be put to that Oath of Abjuration : or if there were , and they would take such an Oath , it would be so far from doing their business ; that lying under such a brand of Infidelity already ( as they do ) all the Oaths they could ever take would never be believed : so that the saving of their Stake that way would be impossible . So that 't is plain ( as I said before ) by those Abjuring Oath-swallowing Friends , he can mean no other but the Church of England Protestants . And yet methinks after Mr. L'Estrange has so long and so vigorously play'd the Church of England's Champion , so strenuously maintain'd the integrity and purity of that Belief and Communion , with the undaunted courage of its Professours , continually copying and patterning their Perfections from a no-less sacred Original than the Fortitude , Patience , and Perseverance of the Primitive Christians ; it is a little odd , as I may say , from a Protestant Defender , and indeed unlike himself , after all this , to lay so wretched , so despicable , and so cowardly a Condescention at their doors ; as the Abjuration of Gods Anointed and their native Soveraign to save a Stake , a Cow , a Farm , or a Cottage . Aye , but that Abjuration is but a Copy of their Countenance , he tells you . Fie , Mr. L'Estrange , this is worse and worse ! What , the Members of the Church of England's Communion so notoriously break a Gospel-precept , as to come to a So help me God , with a Lye in their mouths , and a Reserve in their Hearts , to play the Hypocrite , and that too even with Oaths ; and so do so impious an Ill that Good may come of it ! Are these the true passive obedient Sons of the Church , those unshaken Professors of Christianity , the Martyrs that will be upon occasion under a Romish Tyrant ? But cry you mercy : Now I think on 't better , I find Mr. L'Estrange is onely making room for more Masqueraders ; as he made the Fanaticks Papists in Masquerade , so he intends to make the Protestants Abjurers in Masquerade . But to return to our Coronation-Oath : If the Members ( as he says ) of a Religion that professes against breach of Oaths , shall yet swallow one against Conscience for the saving a Stake , and that so inconsiderable a Stake as the possession of a Subject ; I suppose he will allow that a Member of a Religion that absolves Oaths , will not stand out at the swallowing one for the securing so great a Stake as that of three Kingdoms . So that without any other Evidence than his own , where 's the obligation of an Oath , or indeed the least shadow of a Trust to be reposed in a Popish Successour ? But however , Mr. L'Estrange goes farther , and gives us an Example of the Innocence and Indulgence of a Popish King , in favour of Protestants , page 49. He acknowledges indeed , That Queen Mary did persecute the Christians : And before , page 26. he yields with the Character , That she brake her promise with the Norfolk and Suffolk Inhabitants , and with a mean ingratitude to the generous Loyalty of that people , persecuted and burnt those very men that gave her the first lift to the Crown . But though , as he grants , all this is true , yet he says , All Princes are not alike : Queen Mary persecuted the Protestants ; Henry the fourth of France did not so : And it is as good an Inference from the instance of Henry the fourth , that a Popish Heir will not be a Persecutor , as from that of Queen Mary that he will. But where the Popes Authority intervenes , both King and People are bound to obey . And yet we see , for all the power of the Pope and the Covenant of Holy League to boot , the people of France , though Roman Catholicks , would not submit to the dispossessing of a Protestant Successour ; neither did that generous Prince upon the reconciling of himself afterwards to the Church of Rome , exercise any one act of Tyranny over his Protestant Subjects : which is enough upon this point . Enough indeed , unless there were more Truth or more Reason in 't : For to pass by the Clemency and Moderation , he designes to prove from the Example of this Popish King , here 's one of the most notorious falshoods averr'd that ever look'd Light i' th' face . The Roman Catholick people of France were so far from admitting this Protestant Successour to the Throne , that 't is recorded , they shut their very Gates against him ; and so little acknowledged him their King , that the Pope and the States of France were for setting up no less than three Competitors against him : nay , there were such insolent indignities and oppositions offer'd him , that the onely cause of his changing his Religion was , that nothing less than his Reconciliation to the Romish Faith , could gain him his Birthright and his Crown . And all this is so plainly and so amply testified from the French History , that never was any Assertion more false than this of Mr. L'Estrange . And then his Inference of a Popish Successours Lenity to the Protestants , from the instance of this Popish King , is the weakest and shallowest that ever any man of sence could have thought on : For this King was at best but one of Mr. L'Estrange's Abjurers in Masquerade ; for 't is most apparent that the saving of his Stake , his Crown , not the dint of their Arguments or Perswasion , the strength of the Romish power , not that of their Religion , made him a Convert . And if this King of all mankind had proved a Protestant persecutor , he had been a Monster indeed , and worse than a Nero ; for he must have acted quite contrary to the Dictates of his Soul and Conscience . Now more and above all this , the Reader is here to take notice , that out of all the Chronicles of all Ages , and of all the Popish Kings in Europe , this is the onely Popish Prince he has found out for an Example of Good-nature , and a true and Favourer of the Protestants . Now I profess , might I advise him , if either the Popish Records afforded no other instance in this kind , or his Reading could not finde it out , he should e'en throw up the Cudgels and answer no more Characters , but believe a Popish Successor's Cause either impossible to be defended , or himself uncapable of doing it . But this breaking of Oaths still sticks in his Gizard , and he cannot forbear another fling at it . Mr. L'E . Taking his position for granted , that a Popish Prince is bound by his Religion , to act contrary to his Oaths and Promises , Honour and Iustice , the Dictates of Nature , the Laws of Nations , and the Bonds of humane Society ; contrary to all this ( I say ) and to his Interest too , be must be unman'd as well as unchristian'd ; an Excommunicate to humane Nature , and excluded from all the Benefits and Offices of Mankind . It must be a strange digestion sure , that can put over all other Impieties , and turn the violation of all that is sacred in Nature into a meritorious Virtue . Never did Mr. L'Estrange in all his Fardles of writing sum up so many Truths as in these few lines : For indeed ( as he says ) a Prince that 's guilty of all this , must be both unman'd , unchristian'd , and an Excommunicate to humane Nature , &c. if the Gospel and Christianity be truth ; for the Doctrine of Christ and his Apostles will pronounce him such a one , But all this while the Reader is to observe , that this great Truth is urged by Mr. L'Estrange in favour of his great Mecaenas , designing it not so much to set this Brand upon a Popish Successour's perfidy in such a case , as to let us understand 't is a picture of a Popish Successour so strangely deform'd , and so extravagantly monstrous , that 't is not to be matcht or copy'd in Flesh and Bloud , and indeed has no being in Nature . But not to let him carry it off so , what does he think of Sigismond King of Sweden , crown'd in the year 1580. who in the very exact parallel to our present state of England , being privately bred by his Mother a Roman Catholick , unknown to his Father , and afterwards being elected King of Poland , openly profest the Romish Religion ; but upon his Fathers death , return'd to his Hereditary Swedish Kingdom : where with much difficulty he was received ; but under all the solemn conditions and engagements that could possibly be made between Prince and Subject , of his maintaining and upholding their Lutheran Religion . But on the contrary , no sooner were the Reins in his hand , but with all the fiercest Career of Infidelity , as if Hell drove him , he presently erects Popish Churches , places Popish Governours in all his Forts and Castles , encourages and countenances no other Perswasion , but striving by all Arts imaginary to bring in the Romish Religion . Upon this notorious Perjury his Subjects gave him the Reward which Mr. L'Estrange has elegantly allow'd such Perjury deserv'd ; they excluded him from all the Offices and Benefits of mankind : for accusing him of breach of Faith and mischievous practices against the Government , they deposed him . And this was done by Lutheran Protestants , neither Presbyterian nor Independent Fanaticks ; yet with offer of crowning his Infant-son Vdislaus , provided they might have the breeding of him in their own Belief ; which he refusing after seven years Treaties and other Endeavours for accommodation , all in vain , in the year 1607. they crown'd his Uncle Charles the third Son of his Grandfather Gustavus Errichson . Now how many Bejesuited , Fanatical , Rebellious , Covenanting , Trayterous , Holy-leaguing , Dissenting Psudoprotestants , would Mr. L'Estrange have call'd these Lutherans , were his Pen retain'd against them ? and what Volumes would he publish in vindication of Iure Divino and unalterable Succession , &c. with all the Curses of Bell , Book , and Candle , against them , as he has done against the Popish Character , for making so slight of that indispensable Duty , Passive Obedience ; though as ill luck would have it , certainly the busie Spirit of Mr. L'Estrange was not then in the world : for there are no such vilruent Records against them either in any of the Historians of that Age , or indeed ever since . Now one Remark I would make upon this Sigismond , to continue the parallel to our Case : He was a Prince in his nature as Heroick as we have or can have a Popish Heir , worthy of all those praises that either of these two Answerers have given the last ; and in short , to use one of their own words , A Prince for every thing else , bating his Perswasion , brave to admiration : Which one thing must more particularly witness for him , his being elected King of Poland , a Nation which we all know make their choice for a King out of the gallant , famous , and illustrious Worthies of all the Princes and Nobility through the whole Christian world . And yet we fee neither Magnanimity , Justice , all the Cardinal Vertues that adorn'd him , nor all the promising Perfections and Accomplishments of Nature , strengthen'd with all the Bonds of Protestations , Oaths , or Sacraments , could hold the head-strong Violence of his Religion . But to return to Mr. L'Estrange , in answer to the Character 's proving how improbable , nay impossible 't is to suppose we may have a Roman Catholick King , That shall discountenance Popery , cherish Protestantism , and effectually deter all those that shall endeavour to undermine or supplant it , he says . As to the Influence , which a Popish Suceessor may have upon Ecclesiastick Matters ( As in the Character ) , There needs no more to be said in 't then this ; that the King has been Gratiously pleased , to offer the passing of any Bill for securing the Protestant Religion , without Barring or diverting the Succession . And such expedients have been also framed to that effect , as have been by great Authority judged competent for the obviating of that difficulty . The first part of this Assertion , all the world knows to be truth ▪ but if such Competent Expedients have been framed , either the Framers of them have been the Unkindest Men in Christendom , or the three last Parliaments the Unluckyest : The first , in either never producing or publishing those expedients for the Nations service , in this time of exigence , or the last in never having the good fortune to meet with them ; for if the Parliament at Oxford were not damnably mistaken , or very lewdly forgetful , they have declared ( Nemine Contradicente ) that neither they , nor their Predecessors have ever heard or seen one syllable of such a Frame of Expedients offered them ; so that with Mr. Lestranges Pardon , his above named Great Authority has been greatly unkind in this Matter , or else their expedients were like one of the Virtuosoe's Engines never design'd for use . But he goes on . As to the rest I will not deny , but that it is a hard thing for a Prince to teize and persecute a people of his own Religion , purely Eonomine for their being so . And it is very probable too , that he will connive as Men of that perswasion in many cases , where the Law directs a Punishment . And what is there more in this , than what has been done already more or less from the Date of the Statutes themselves to this very Day : And what is done by the Government it self towards the Nonconformists at this Instant ! Where is the great Crime now , ( upon this Admittance ) in not punishing the Papists , so long as the Protestants are not persecuted . Here the Reader by the by may take notice , that these two Answerers did not confer Notes , for one says a Popish Successor will be a second part of the Immortal Brutus , and the other that he will be a quite contrary manner of Man. But here I would beg Mr. Lestrange to explain himself : if he means by a Popish Successors conniving at Men , of his own perswasion , to be no larger an extent of Royal favor , than what that party have received in the two last Kings Reigns , the priviledge perhaps of no more than a Queens or an Embassadors private Chapple , for the visible worship of the whole party throughout all England , then he contradicts the confessions of all the late Popish Martyrs , for amongst all their plot silence , they unanimously confess they had a fair list for a Toleration . And in case of such a Toleration in the next Kings Reign , under a Popish Successor ; wha'rs that less than Sigismunds erecting of Popish Churches , and with them no doubt placing Popish Governors in all Forts and Castles , Popish Ministers in all offices of trust , with Popish Generals , and Popish Admirals upon occasion , encouraging and countenancing no other perswasion , and striving by all Acts imaginary of setting up the Romish Religion , and all this dayly pusht forwards farther and farther , higher and higher by Degrees . Alas ! the Character never design'd to sham such a ridiculous impossible supposition on the world , that the Persecuting fury of a Popish King shall falt down upon us like Fire from Heaven , all of a suddain , and no less miraculously , or that Popery or Arbitrary Power , should grow up like Ionas Goad , in a Night . Alas , Smith field Stakes , Lollards Towers , and Inquisition Houses are the work of time ; and therefore where as yet , open Hostility cannot march , nor greater Conflagrations be attempted , they must have redress to less Games in the mean while , the use of smaller Fire-Brands , and Foxes Tailes to tye 'em to . In the next page he continues very smart upon the Character , part of which to be better understood , I must be forced to repeat . Char. Speaking of a Popish successor , executing the Laws . A very pretty chimera ? which is as much as to make this Popish King the greatest Barbarian of the Creation , a Barbarian , that shall cherish and maintain the Dissenters from Truth , and punish and condemn the pillars of Christianity and proselytes of Heaven : which is no other than to speak him the Basest of men , and little less then a Monster . Besides at the same time that we suppose that King that dares not uphold nor encourage his own Religion , we render him the most deplorable of Cowards , a Coward so abject , that he dares not be a champion even for his God. And how consistent this is with the Glory of a Crown'd Head , and what hope England has of such a Successor , I leave all men of sense to Iudge . Mr. Lestrange . Behold here 's the upshot of his high flown paragraph [ A Popish Prince that puts the Laws in execution for the punishing of Papists and for the countenancing and protecting of Protestants , is little less then the basest of monsters . ] How comes it then that the Crown of France has not treated the Protestants there , as this Pictur-drawer pronounces , that a Popish Successor would treat his subjects here ? The Protestants have now and then been severely handled , I know , in France , as the Papists upon some junctures have been in England : and now of late wors then usuall . All which hath been influenced as well by reasons of state , as by impulse of Religion . But shall we pronounce the most Christian King the greater monster for his better usage of us &c. Now I dare defie the world to find me out that author , that ever wrackt his Brains to labour out such mormoes as this ; a discourse soe intirely mal a Propos , and altogether soe little to his purpose ; what can he intend , or what would he argue from this ? is there any resemblance between the State of England and France ; is the French King , ( as the character says ) bound to condemn the pillars of christianity and proselytes of Heaven ? or has he any Laws to put in execution against the Papists ? doe his Laws uphold no other Religion but the Protestant , and in defence of that , declare Popery Treason , and oblige him to hang every Popish Priest in his Kingdom . Is there therefore the least compulsion upon him to render him that Barbarian or Coward mentioned in the Character . Nay on the quite contrary is not Popery there the Establisht Lord of the soyl , and the Protestant Religion only an inmate by toleration . Is there any more Hugonot Churches to that Great City Paris , then one stragling one , like our Pancras , for all the Protestants in that Populous Town . And now what if Mr. L'estrange would bring no less then 20. precedents of good natured French Kings that have not molested the Hugonots under them . Has not their own Religion the ascendant of the Nation , does it not flourish and triumph in Pomp , State and Glory , whilst the poor Hugonot perswasion only humbly truckles beneath it , and what then , if their Royal mercy does not persecute the Protestants , is there any thing in that mercy so monstrous or so unnatural ; or is their any Laws , Restrictions or Clogs upon the French King that can give such a shock to the soul of a Papist as the Protestant Laws of England . I confess Mr. Lestrange in one clause before was much in the Right , where he affirm'd the continuing a Protestant to the Eye of the World had been a means of gaining the point : and 't is no less a truth , that showing the Cards before the playing , has often endanger'd the Game . And indeed I have heard some smart sort of People a little Satyrical upon this Subject . I remember a passage of this kind I read to'ther day , being an invective against Machiavel for an unlucky Miscarriage in one of his great Designs , which translated into our own English runs thus . Oh! that our shallow thoughtless Machiavel should have so much zeal , and so little Brains to manage it . Such a Bigot , such Principles , such Resolution , such Infatuation : Impenetrable to all foolish effeminate thoughts of humanity ; a temper as rough , and as brutal as a second Ajax , untainted with remorse or pitty , that hates all thoughts of gratitude , friendship and fidelity , as much as Rome loves greatness , as deaf to a Kings interest and a Kingdoms Groans , as Romes own wish could form him . That excellent matchless engine for our work , had not this only wretched ill conduct blasted all , and crack't the whole foundation . Had he but play'd the sly and wise Ulysses till under his disguise he had stoln their fatal Palladium , and left their ruind Troynovant guardianless and defenseless , our Glory had been compleat . How might our great , our adorable Machine have succeeded , had not this unlucky Marr-al ruind it ? How might the reaking Gore of Butcher'd Infidels have fatten'd the Land , and with the Steam perfumed the Skies , and smelt sweet in the Nostrils of the Saints . We had a time , we had a day , a favourable smiling Courting Hour , the morning Dawn to our great Iubile : But oh ! that dear , that blest Minute 's gon . A Curse of all unthinking greatness ! How might this mighty Hunter have pursued the glorious Game , like the immortal Roman Tullia that drove her Chariot over her murder'd Fathers heart , and Rod tryumphant o're the crackling Bones of Majesty , had he not so rashly pull'd off the Vizard too soon , thus senselesly turn'd up his Cask , and show'd the fatal Face within it . And by that only accurst unfortunate Act , waken'd a whole alarum'd Nation to snatch the Reins , from this bold Rider , and cry , stop Iehu . Well , but Mr. Lestrange , through almost all his whole Pamphlet is still upon the impossibility of Popery , and Arbitrary Powers advance into England . Page 82. he says , take the matter as they suppose it , a King upon a Throne that 's principled for Arbitrary Government and Popery , but so clogg'd and shackled with Popular and Protestant Laws , that if he had never so great a mind to 't , there 's not one Subject in his Dominions , that would dare to serve him in his Design . Now the King of France we see has made himself absolute ▪ and that as I take it by the help of his Subjects ; and why English Men should not dare to do any thing , that the French have done before them , I cannot understand . Neither do I find , but a Popish King might not only have good Irish Hands out of his Dominions , but good English ones too upon that occasion , for besides his Popish Friends , we have but too many of all Religions , but more of no Religion at all , whose desperate Fortunes would make their hearts leap at so pleasing a motion , and push for a change at any rate to fish in troubled Waters , and that too notwithstanding the hazard of their Necks , upon a Scheame of Law which he proposes Pag. 40 , to be form'd for that purpose . Nay that Scheame of capital Laws should serve for an incentive to their Resolution , and make 'em wade the deeper , the more unsafe and dangerous it should be to retire . In the foregoing Page he says , Mr. Lest. that possibly there may be a Popish King that may not have the will to change the Government , in respest of the immorality of inclinin to such a violation of his trust and word , but most certainly not , in regard of so manifest an inability to bring it to pass . Now 't is evident the Plotters and Jesuites have not believed it such an impossible exploit , and why may not a Prince of their own Opinion , and their own Industry for Rome , upon the presumption of whose principles and for whose sake their whole Machine moved ; with a Crown on his head , and a Sword in his hand believe as they do ? So that were there a real inability in the case , yet if the blindness of zeal and the over-sight of Ambition shall not distinguish that inability to be manifest till the event & fatal success has proved it so , what shall that hinder his endeavors in attempting and prosecuting it , and then where 's the certainty of his will against it . And these endeavors once prosecuted amidst all the violent Inrodes or subtle Attaques that shall be made for Popery and Slavery , no God ha' mercy to his Kindness for 't , it is none of his fault that he lays his Bones by the seige , and does not live it out to put us to Storm . And I need not insist how far the Peace , Prosperity and Freedom of this once flourishing Kingdom will suffer under such a seige and how far they will be dayly harass'd and gall'd with so potent and so pressing an Enemy . At best they must expect to have their Laws snapt asunder as often and as fast as Sampsons cords , and their City gates in the scuffle twing'd off , and if at last they play the Philistians , and live to pick out both his Eyes for 't , the end of all must terminat in Sampsons fate , they 'll have an old heavy roof pull'd down both upon his head and theirs together . The next thing Mr. L'estrange falls foule upon , are the Acts of Parliament recited in the character , and here he either tells the Reader they are nothing to the characters purpose , or if they are , he finds such flaws in the Law-makers that made them , that they are unreasonable , and consequently void in themselves , as you shall hear anon . And so he fairly trips up the heels of Kings , Lords and Commons at once , and makes their whole authority insignificant because their Laws are against Mr. L'estranges inclination . First , he 's very angry with the character , for advancing the Popish Succesour first from the Possibility of a good man , then from bad to wars , and at last to a downright Traitor : and that from a statute of Queen Elizabeth , that declares every subject of England , that shall take absolution from Rome , or own the ▪ Popes supremacy , or pay any Fealty to the See of Rome guilty of High Treason . And then he answers this by saying , there are two provisoes in the Act that makes the case somwhat different from what the Characteriser has Stated it . viz. 1 Provided alway , that for as much as the Queens Maiesty is otherwise sufficiently assured of the faith and loyalty of the temporal Lords of her high Court of Parliament : Therefore this Act , nor any thing therein contained , shall not extend to compell any Temporal Person , of or above the degrée of a Baron of this Realm to take or pronounce the Dath abovesaid , ( viz. of Supremacy ) nor to incur any penalty , limited by this Act for not taking or refusing the same ( &c. ) 2. Provided also , that if any Péer of this Realm shall hereafter offend contrary to this Act , or any Branch or Article thereof , that , in that and all such case and cases , they shall be Tryed by their Péers , in such manner and form as in other cases of Treasons they haue used to be tryed , and by no other means . Now I would defie any impartial Reader to Judge if ever any thing was so weakly and so impertinently urged as these two Provisoes . The first tells you that the Queen was so assured of the Loyalty of her Nobility , that she would not put them to the trouble of Swearing to confirm it , as the Law required from her Inferior Subjects , but on the other side the second Proviso tells us that notwithstanding that , if any of them offended against the Law or any Branch or Article of it , they should find no more Mercy than the meanest Commoner in her Kingdom , but be equally Tryed for High Treason . Now what he drives at by this objection or what favor these Provisoes make for a Popish Heir , I declare I cannot Imagine , neither do I believe he knows himself . Upon this he comes to a touch of Conscience , and says ; It would be well if every man that presses with this unprecedented rigor upon the Person here in Question , would lay his hand upon his Heart , and say , if the King has Pardoned me Ten Thousand times more than this comes to , with what reason or Conscience can I Importune His Majesty thus bitterly against his Brother . Ten Thousand times more than this comes to , is a very great disproportion . But thus much I am certain , for the Heir of a Protestant Kingdom , and the Son of a Protestant Martyr , to be perverted to the Religion and Interest of Rome , so notoriously destructive to the English Government , and thereby to be the cause of all those Distractions in the Nation , that tye up the Hearts and Hands of the Subject , from their Duty to the best of Princes , and weaken both his greatness at home , and his Alliance abroad ; and not only this , but to be seduced to a perswasion , in such a juncture of Affairs , on whose only score , have all the late Conspiracies against His Majesties Sacred Life been contrived and animated , This I say , is bad enough , but to find out a man Guilty of Ten Thousand times more than this comes to , and Pardoned for it too , is ( to use his own word ) to give us an Original of an unprecedented Criminal , and as unprecedented Mercy . But if he intends this as a lash against the Author of the Character , I 'le venture to clear him , for to my knowledge , he is a Person so far from laying his hand on his Heart , and owing any Benefit to Royal Pardons or Acts of Oblivion , that I must say this truth for him . Ianuary 48 was past before he was Born. In the next Page he confesses that the Strongest Argument he finds in the whole Character is this . Char. if ever a Papist mounts this Throne , then all their murmurs their petitions , protesting and Association Votes will be remembred to the purpose , upon which he makes this remark . Mr. L. Now what can be a greater Indignity to the Iustice and Resolution of that Illustrious Body ( viz. the Parliament ) then to imagine so narrow a thought could any way influence the Candor and Solemnity of their Debates . Yes , indeed , what greater indignity then to imagine it . For if as the Character says , and Mr. Lestrange grants , they will be remember'd to the purpose , and the Heretick Dogs , upon his mounting into the Throne may live to be hang'd for their Barking , what greater indignity to the Courage and Resolution of those Illustrious Patriots then to imagine they 'le slacken their Votes and Debates against a Popish Succession for fear of his Revenge . So cowardly a thought indeed ( as he says ) would be too narrow for the Souls of English Men. From this he comes to the main point the Characters proving the Succession of the English Crown to be wholly subjected to the disposal Determinations and Limitations of Parliament . The Parliament ( says the Character ) 25 of Henry the 9th , setled the Crown upon the Heirs of that Kings Body by Queen Anne , and in the 28 repealed that Act , and intayl'd the Succession upon the Heirs of his Body by Queen Jane , Mary and Elizabeth being declared illegitimate . And in case they died without issue then the Parliament Empowr'd him by the same Act to dispose of the Succession by his own Letters Patents or his last will. In the 35th . Year of his Reign the Parliament granted the Succession to Edward , and for want of the Heirs of his Body to the Lady Mary , and the Heirs of her Body , and for want of such Heirs to the Lady Elizabeth , under certain Limitations and Conditions contain'd in that Act. But to prove all this nothing to his purpose he makes these six Objections . Mr. Lest. First , he says the Charasteriser infers that a Parliament may Order or Dispose the Succession . But whither they may or no , here 's little or nothing proved from these Citations . First under the ambiguity of the word Parliament , he would have this thought to be the single Act of the Lords and Commons , when the Enacting authority of it was solely in the King. This first Objection has more quibble than reason in it , and deserves no serious Answer . For the Character is so far from starting up an Ordinance instead of an Act of Parliament , that no man of sense can extort any such meaning from him . Secondly he says . These Statutes do not so properly transfer a Right , as declare and notify the Persons , for the prevention of disputes and competitions , as appears by the preamble to that of the 28th . Statute . Wherefore we your most humble and obedient Subiects , in this present Parliament Assembled , calling to our Remembrance the great Divisions which in times past have been in this Realm , by reason of several titles pretended to the Imperial Crown of this Realm . which sometimes and for the most part ensued , by occasion of ambiguity and doubts , then not so perfectly declared , but that Men might upon froward intents expound them to every Mans sinister Appetite and Affection , and Posterity of the lawful Kings and Emperors of this Realm ; whereof hath ensued great Effusion and Destruction of Mans Blood , as well of the great Number of Nobles , as of other the Subiects , and especially Inheritors in the same , And the greatest Occasion thereof hath been , because no perfect and substantial Provision by Law hath béen made within this Realm it self : When doubts and questions have been moved and proponed of the certainty and Legality of the Succession , and Posterity of the Crown , &c. Mr. L ▪ Now so far is the intent of this Act from diverting the Succession , that the express end of it was the setting of it right , by the avoidance of a former settlement upon the nullity of the Marriage . And afterward 26th . of the same King. cap. 2. The Act here before mentioned is called : The Act for the establishment of the Succession of the Heirs of the Kings Highness in the Imperial Crown of this Realm . Mr. L. Now there 's a great deal of difference betwixt translating the Succession from the wrong to the right , and the diverting it from the right to the wrong . Now certainly never had any objection less sense in it then this , for if this Act impowr'd the King upon the failure of Edward , Mary and Elizabeth , to give the Crown to whome he pleased , as really it did , and that must be expounded to give it only to the next right Heir . Now their could be but one right Heir in the case , and consequently if that right ought to possess , the empowring the King , to dispose of the Crown where he pleased , was downright nonsense and a palpable contradiction in the very words . So that for instance had Henry the 8th Upon presumption of this Act , out of some particular inclination , bequeath'd the Reversion of his Crown to a Tenth Cozen removed instead of a First , and this Law had been to have been read by Mr. L'estranges Spectacles , the very end they made it for , ( viz. ) to keep peace and quiet had been utterly destroy'd ; for instead of Reconciling all differences between future pretenders , and fixing the succession , it had only given new occasions for fresh Feuds , and so the Parliament had only wisely made an Act to ruine the very intent of it's Creation . Mr. L. Thirdly , this change and disposition of settlement though it pased all the formalityes of Bill and Debate , yet the First spring of it was from their certain knowledge of the Kings Pleasure to have it so , without which they durst never have ventred on such a proposition . Mr. L. Fourthly , matter of Fact is no proof of Right , and especially a Fact accompanied with so many circumstances of cross Capers and contradictions , as the pronouncing of the same persons to be both Illegitimate , and legitimate , &c. And a Man cannot imagine , without a scandal to that Grave and Wise Assembly , that the levity of those Councels and that humor of Swearing and Counter-swearing could be any other than the caprice of their new Head and Governor . Now pray observe the slyness of this slur he puts upon Majesty : He cunningly insinuates that Matter of Fact may not be Matter of Right , and that when the Humor , Caprice or Pleasure of a King influences the Votes of his Parliament to make it so . Now upon concession of Mr. Lestranges opinion , here 's a broad gate opened for a Rebellion ; for by his Argument 't is but disallowing the rightfulness of Hearth money , and indeed almost all the rest of the Kings Revenues because the King generally askt the Parliament money first , and so since the first spring of those grants were from the knowledge of the Kings pleasure to have it so , 't is but Mr. L'estranges denying the matter of right in this case , and so he makes the King a Tyrant to demand his own , and thereupon encourages the Subject to the most impudent undutifulness and disloyalty in nature . Now those cross Capers and contradictions , as he calls them , in declaring the same Persons one while Illegitimate and afterwards legitimate is one of the greatest Arguments that the conservation of a Nations Peace , was held a greater piece of Conscience in that Age , then the maintaining the right of Blood , when Illegitimacy it self upon occasion could be restored to the power of Succession . Neither was there any such Swearing or Counter-swearing or any such levity ( as he calls it ) in that grave Assembly , for the Oath they enjoyn'd the People in fidelity to the Kings Heirs could have no other meaning than whilst they were Lawfully so , and in all Justice the Obligation of it expired in course , when the Law declared them no longer such . Nor was it indeed any more than the Tenure of our present Oath of Allegiance , in which we swear to be faithful to the King 's lawful Heirs and Successors , which the Ignorance of some People has used as an Argument against the changing of Succession ; as thinking they have sworn fealty to the next of Blood , whereas in reality there 's nothing in that Oath that binds them to the Person but the Thing , to no particular Man any further than as he is Heir and Successor , Lawfully so , and no Man truly is either Heir or Successor til he Inherits and Succeeds , and as 't is most ridiculous to think the intent of an Oath of Allegiance is to make a Man Swear Loyalty to a fellow Subject , as as the greatest Heir apparent is no more whilst the King Lives , so the duty of that part of the Oath cannot necessarily be understood to commence or take effect till the present Kings death , and then if in the mean while the absolute Power of the Land , the King , Lords and Commons have constituted a new Heir and Successor , the obligation of that Oath of Allegiance can have no other Aspect , then to the Heir and Successor so constituted . Mr. Lest , fithly , with Reverence to the utility and constitution of good and wholesome Laws , it is not presently to Cite a statute and say , there 's a precedent , for those Laws that are repugnant to the Light of nature and Common Right are Nullities in themselves . Now here 's one of the boldest Master strokes of the pen that ever came in print . This point once gain'd , all the Protestant Laws since the reformation , and the whole fabrick of the present Government are totally subverted . 'T is but a Popish Successors believing aud maintaining that all the Protestant Laws ever since Henry the 8ths . perversion are against the light of nature , and consequently Nullites in themselves : So down goes the Protestant Church , up start the old Statutes de Haeretico comburendo , the old Smith field Fire-works , whilst Popery comes in in the open face of day most triumphantly introduced even by the awful Divinity of Law and Justice for its Supporters . So that after all Mr. Lestranges Vindication of the Honor , Honesty , Veneration of Oathes , Performance of Laws , and Preservation of the Protestant Religion in a Popish Successor , he has very subtly sound him out an Evasion to be a greater Tyrant and Devil than the Author of the Character could paint him , and that too with all the Innocence in the World , and even without the least Blemish of Infidelity . But to come a little nearer to him , in the first Place these Acts for the settlement of the Crown were so far from being repugnant to the Light of nature , that on the contrary 't is evidently manifest that the Law-Makers that made e'm mov'd by no other Guide or Light but that . For since self Preservation is the first and greatest thing that the light of nature teaches all Mankind , the very preamble to the Acts confirm us that the preservation of themselves and their Heirs in Peace and Tranquillity , and to avoid the future Effusion of English Blood , was the sole End and Design of those Acts. Secondly these Acts have nothing repugnant or destructive of common right . For if by common right , he implies a right to any possession or pretension derived from human Power and the Laws of Man , then 't is plain by the Constitution of our Government , where our Laws are not like these of the Medes and Persians , that the Law-makers that gave can take , and in that respect there 's no right so firm , which the absolute Power of the Law lying in the three States in Parliament cannot shake . But if by common right he means a right derived from the Laws or Commands of God , and therefore those Acts of Parliament are nullities in themselves , because repugnant to the Rules and Duty of Christianity . Then he would do well to tell us when that Law of God was made or that Command given . But that there is no such Law nor any such Rules of Christianity is plainly to be demonstrated from the most eminent precedents of holy writ ; where we find proximity of blood has been so far from challenging that unalterable Right of Empire that on the other side there have been several Changes of Kings made in that case even amongst Gods own People and that always by his Consent , and sometimes by his special Order . Besides if any such Law of God had been made , and left us in holy Scripture , 't is certain that Law ought to have no more obligation over one Christian Kingdom than another , and then consequently Venice and Holland that have no Kings at all , and Poland that always elect their Kings , by Mr. Lestranges Inference live Age after Age in continual Violation of Common Right , the Duty of Christians , and the Laws of God. I do confess I have heard of a Command of Christ that says , Let every Soule be subject unto the higher Powers ; for there is no Power but of God ; whosoever therefore resisteth the Power resisteth the Ordinance of God , and they that resist shall receive to themselves Damnation ; and therefore if the higher Powers of England the King , Lords and Commons are an Ordinance of God too , it is an Article of my Creed , That he that denies their Authority and Power , and not content with that only , endeavors to perswade and seduce the rest of his fellow subjects to the same denial is not only a Traitor to his Country , but from Christs own Sentence shall receive , if possibly , a double Portion of Damnation . But now for his Sixth Observation on this Statute . Mr. L. Lastly he brings instance here to prove that a Parliament may divert the succession , but he shows withal , that there can be no security even in that Exclusion , showing that what one Parliament does another may undo , so that now we are upon equall Tearms of security or hazard , either in the exclusion of the successor or in restraining him , for if he be tyed up by one Parliament , another may set him at Liberty ; and if he be excluded by one Parliament , another may take him in again . Now certainly this is the most comical humor I ever met with , to advise a Parliament to have a care of excluding a Papist for fear another Parliament restore him . Perswade e'm to fear that once , and make e'm Jealous of fancyes and Chimeras indeed . But to dissipate all shadows of any such dangers , there are some heads as wise as Mr. L'estranges ( no disparagment ) that are of opinion if one English Parliament once exclude a Popish successor we may safely defy Five Hundred Parliaments afterwards to restore him . The disinheriting of a Popish successor being a kind of Limbus , that if we have once got him into it , 't is damnable odds that all the intrest of Rome with Ten Millions of Masses never get him out of it . I must confess if we could have a Parliament of Mr. L'estranges particular choosing , the Consistory of Cardinals for the House of Lords , and St Omers Colledge for the House of Commons much might be ; but till then we are pretty safe in that point . But amongst all Mr. L'estranges despicable thoughts of the Decrees and power of Parliaments in Henry the Eight's days , he clearly forgets to answer that Act of Parliament of Queen Elizabeths mentioned in the Character , in which 't was made Treason for any man to affirm that the disposal of the Imperial Crown of England lay not in the Queen and Parliament , and indeed that Act comes so near the present face of the affairs in England , that it was made upon the selfe same occasion , that the Bill of Exclusion was endeavour'd by the late Parliaments , ( viz. ) with an intention of putting by Mary Queen of Scots the then next Popish Heir from the Succession , had not her Conspiracy against the Life of the Queen , put an end to all farther care , by the forefeiture of her head . But these Six Objections with the help of Common Right and the Light of Nature may serve to answer both ; and truly Mr. L'estrange has given us the top of his Politicks , and the utmost strength of his Reason for the defence of a Popish Successor , in opposition even to the Supreme Authority of the Nation , and against all the precedents of Laws and History . But alas ! what signifies Supreme Authority , Presidents , Laws , &c. There 's nothing so sacred which stands in their way , that the Champions of Rome must not endeavor to overthrow , and when the Popish Interest cries Halloo , they must Bark at least though they cannot Bite . Now 't is plainly to be discovered at what Foundation he strikes , by lessening and enfeebling the Legislative Power of the Nation , and though he wisely lays the Scene at such distance as the remoter Age of Henry the 8th , yet we understand where he aims the lash he gives , and what Gall his Ink's made of . But truly in his Remarks and Reflections upon the Capriches ( as he calls them ) of Henry the 8th , with the weakness of his great Council , the shallowness of their Debates , and the invalidity of their decrees , he chooses the safer Subject . The Majesty he reviles , and the Authority he ridicules , being so long since inoffensive Dust and Ashes , that he has this Reason for his Boldness , and this shield for his Defence . Nulli gravis est percussus Achilles . But to answer those strait-laced Consciences that so vehemently maintain and assert Succession to be Iure Divino , and cannot be alter'd by any human Laws , I will put this instance . Suppose a King has two Sons , the eldest of which , ambitious of a Crown , and mislead by the ill Counsel of his Priests , favourites or the like , conspires to depose his Father , and in Order thereunto , confederates with some neighbouring Monarch ; who upon assurance given him , by this Aspirer of resigning of some part of his Dominions to him , or becoming tributary to him , furnishes him with Money and Men , by which assistance he flies out into an open Rebellion against his Father , upon w ch the Father commissions his younger Son to fight this Rebel Prince , who beats him , and makes him fly out of his fathers Dominions to that confederate neighbours Protection , upon which the King with the unanimous consent of his loyal Subjects passes an Act for a total Exclusion of the Elder son from the Crown , and to place the Succession in the younger . Now will any Man say that this is not warrantable and just both by the Laws of God and Man. For if it be unwarantable , and that this Rebel Prince must still suceeed , then consider what follows . Frst , here 's a manifest obstructing of the distribution of the greatest Justice both human and divine . For whilst this Prince continues safe by his Flight , and his forreign Protection , from any personal Sufferance for his Crimes , and at the same time 't is granted he cannot suffer in his Birthright , then this indispensable continuation of succession confers the greatest Earthly felicity and reward viz. a Diadem on the greatest of Criminals , one Doubly a Traitor not only against the Lords anointed , but even to the Fountain of his own Royal Blood , and the Author of his being , a Father . Secondly ; it makes crown'd Heads the most miserable State of all man kind ; nay they are below the meanest Peasant in their Kingdoms : For the vengeance of a Subject , having the Power to disinherit , shall persue a Rebel son even to the East Indies , whilst a King , who they say , has , or should have long hands shall notwith all his thunder reach the worst of rebels cross the next Sea , or perhaps the next County . So that where 's their boasting themselves to be Gods Vicegerents , when they alone of all Men are most debarred that greatest Prerogative of a Diety , REVENGE . 3d , By this means Majesty that should be most sacred , and the person of it most religiously guarded , and defended , lies more exposed than all Mankind besides , for if it be true that . Filius ante diem patrios inquirit in annos . And the lust of Inheritance makes the Blood of the Impatient Heir boil high for possession , then 't is most true , where the Inheritance is Greatest , and the Temptation Strongest , as in the case of a Crown , that there the Blood boiles highest . And if so , and Birth-right be still unforfitable , then to the strongest Temptation here 's the least danger , and the greatest Encouragement for gratifying that lust , and accomplishing all such tempting desires . So that upon this position , who so arm'd for a Traitor as he that 's Born to a Crown , and who so unsafe as he that wears it . But surely 't is inconsistant with that particular care , that God takes for the Preservation of Kings , to entail that Ius Divinum upon them , that places them infra statum Humanum . However to give a little clearer light into this great point of Succession I shall trouble my Reader with one instance more . It cannot be disputed but that either Queen Mary or Queen Elizabeth did succeed to the Imperial Crown of England not by Divine Right of Succession , since Queen Elizabeth was Born whilst Queen Katharine the Mother of Queen Mary was living , but one of them must undoubtedly enjoy the Crown Iure Parliamentario : if the latter , ( as cannot be denyed ) and that Succession is Iure Divino , then she was an Usurpess upon the Right of the House of Scotland : and what then is the consequence of all this ! First , it shakes , and strikes at the Foundation of the Church of England , which derives all its Power and Authority from the Crown which began in King Henry the 8ths , and were more fully confirmd by Queen Elizabeth , and therefore the Church of England was setled by a Princess de facto and not de jure , insomuch that it undermines the very basis of the Hierarchy and Ecclesiastick power , and the order of the whole Clergy , who derive their Distinctions and Ordinations from that Queen . 2ly . It may call in Question all the Grants of that Queen , which have not been confirmed by the Scottish Line , and destroy the many and great Priviledges conferr'd on both the Universities . 3ly . According to the Rule of Ius Divinum it may raise a Question hereafter of what validity those Honors are which that Queen was pleased to confer upon several great and eminent Families . Lastly it would well become many worthy and learned Men seriously to consider whether they do not labor to do the Work and Drudgery of the Church of Rome , who assert so fatal a Principle , whereby they make Queen Elizabeth an Usurpress , and build the superstructure of the Protestant Religion , the right of the Church , and the Legality of the whole Clergy of England , upon such a sandy and ruinous Foundation as the High and Mighty Ius Divinum . But if we will allow that Princess our lawful Queen , which I hope no Man will have the Impudence to deny , then the disposal of the Crown by Parliament is just . But if Ius Divinum that lay buried 44 Years together must make a Resurrection in our present Distractions of England , and both Honor and Conscience render an exclusion Bill unlawful , how came the proposition of making a Popish Successor but a Nominal Prince , and setling the Administration in Protestant hands : If that may be , then here 's Ius Divinum quite laid aside : for Divine Right of Birth entitles a Prince to the power as well as the name of a King , and if that right be sacred and inviolable , no one part of it more than another ought or can lawfully be alienated . But if the greatest part of it be by the greatest Authority allow'd justly Alienable by Act of Parliament , there 's an end of all Divine Right , and a concession of the Iurisdiction of Parliaments , insomuch that if they may legally take away the Kernel , and leave only the Husk of Succession , by the same Authority they may as well take away both : and a total Exclusion is no more repugnant to Honor or Conscience then an Exclusion in part . But if any Man has a curiosity to examine the Effects of Exclusions in part , viz. Limitations and Restrictions that have been put upon the English Crown , I will only advise him cursorly to run over the contests between King Iohn and the Barons ; Henry the 3d , Edward the 2d , and Richard the 2d and their Barons , and the troubles of Henry the 6th , and the several Agreements made between him and the D. of York , and he 'le easily satisfie himself that notwithstanding the several Agreements Restraints and Limitations put upon the Crown , and those confirm'd not only by Acts of Parliament but solemnly ratifyed in the Face of Heaven by many Oaths and dreadful Excommunications by the Church , yet none ever held : but so soon as those Parliaments were dissolved , or the first opportunity or advantage happen'd , those Kings by the ill advice of their Favourites and Minions broke all , whereupon both parties flying to Arms , the King accusing them of Treason , and they Him of Perjury , the rise of all those long and bloody Civil Wars had no other ground but this . But to back his last six Arguments in defence of the Succession we find him for the next three or four Pages together corroborating his Opinion with the practice of the primitive Christians . First he tells you 'tis a Gospel precept not to do ill that good may come of it , such as the unwarrantable devesting of a Prince of his Birthright though for any safety or preservation whatever . So that in the case of England supposing it would come at last to a down-right persecution under a Popish Successor , yet to stand upon our Guards to prevent it would be more than ever the primitive Christians did under the ten Persecutions ; and we have not only their Example but their express Doctrine against it . And therefore ( as he says in another place ) 't is our Duty to bless God for the Peace and Happiness we now enjoy , and rather wait his farther pleasure with thankfulness and resignation , then with murmuring and a●●trust to Anticipate future Evils and Prejudge Providences to come . Now never was any thing more plausibly managed to so little purpose , for the Correspondence between ours and the primitive Christians case is here so incoherently Ballanced , that never were Arguments more Sophistical . The primitive Christians preacht Obedience to Nero , yes , and they had forfeited their Christianity if they had done otherwise , but what was that Nero , an absolute Monarch : and what those primitive Bishops ? not such as ours , they were not a part of the Legislative Power of the Nation , as our Prelates are . If Nero invented Wracks , Tortures and Gibbets for persecuting or murdering the poor Christians , he did it by his own uncontroulable Authority , nor were those primitive Bishops call'd to make Laws , and therefore had not the lawful power of the least Vote in Moderation of Neroes Cruelty , or in Redress of the Christians Torments . I am sure if they had had any such voting or law-making Power , and yet out of a base principle of cowardly Fear on one side , and like fordid Sycophants out of a servile Flattery of Neroes barbarous Inclinations on the other side , had neglected the means , ( as much as in them lay ) of preventing those Persecutions , they had been rather Wolves then Shepherds over the flock of Christ , and Accessaries to all those Butcheries that Nero committed against them . For not to oppose where opposition is lawful , is to permit , and to permit is to Act. So that there would not have been that Engine made to rend the Tortured Christians Bones , that they them selves in so doing had not lent a helping hand to the winding of it up . Nor is it to be doubted but that if those Primitive Prelates had had those Sacred Recorded Statutes , those Royal decrees , Presidents and Laws before 'em , wherin the disposal of the Crown under which they lived had lain in the Absolute Power of the Nation , it being declared no less then Treason to deny it , and that the Kingdoms safety in despight of Birth-right had sometimes Authorized the change of the Sucession ; had these Prelates , I say , lived under such a Government , and at the same time sat at the Helm like ours , it is to be presumed upon the certain prospect of a next Successor of known Principles of Barbarity and persecution , with the Innate implacable inveteracy against Christians and Christianity ; they would boldly and unanimously have endeavored and Voted for his Removal , and whatever Obedience they Preacht to a Nero upon a Throne , they would have thought it neither an Obligation of Conscience or Christianity to have lent their Assistance to the mounting a Nero into a Throne . So that 't is more than likely under such a Power and such Circumstances they would have stood upon their Guards , ( as the Character says ) against so dangerous and so fatal a Succession ; not stood upon their Guards , as Mr. Lestrange interprets it , with their Swords in their hands , but as the Author meant it , with their Eyes and Tongues in their heads and resolution in their Soules , to see the real dangers themselves and their Religion are in , and to propose and provide all lawful and necessary means to prevent them . Nor would they upon second thoughts with Mr. Lestranges tender Conscience have judged this legal & manly Resolution in defence of their Religion to fall under the Premunire mention'd in the 3d. P. of his Book , a Prostituting of their Soules to save their Skins and Fortunes . This I am sure , they could never with Reason or Religion have judged it any such Prostitution , but if they had made Religion and Conscience the Pretence to judge it so , and thereupon had directed and managed all their Studies , Labors , Endeavors , Votings , Preachings , Insinuations and Encouragements for the Establishment of such a Successor , they might very seasonably fall under as severe a scandal , and I am sure as justly deserved , as what Mr. Lestrange has given the Fanaticks under the Name of Papists in Masquerade ; for in this case the wiser part of the World would have shrewdly suspected they had been more Heathens in Masquerade , than Christians . Neither is there ( by Mr. Lestranges Permission ) that incumbent Duty upon Christianity , to be so wholly employ'd in blessing God for our present Peace and Prosperity , as to wait his farther Pleasure and Providences to come with so intire a Resignation , till we neglect a lawful Preservation when approaching Ruine threatens us ; he that by the Blessing of God stands upon the firm Shore and sees that terrible and unusual Torrent come rowling on , which in Probability may break the banks and drown him , is so far from being oblidged to an idle standing still , and a resignation to the will of Providence , whether the Innundation shall break in , and he sink or swim : That if he miscarries by that idle neglect of himself , it will not at all clear him from being accessary to his own destruction , ( and therefore answerable for it ) by excusing himself to God , and saying , Lord , I submitted to thy pleasure . From this we come to the Characters Doctrin of Passive Obedience , which the Character avows may be laid aside under the Tyranny of a Popish Succession ; in answer to which we have Mr. L'estrange very severe against him , for so bold and so dangerous a position , and perhaps if there be any glimpse of Reason throughout his whole answer 't is there ; but however that the Authors Opinion may not appear so strangely enormous , nor his position so wholly destructive to Government , and so opposite to Christianity , as his answer would render it ; let us venture to make a little explanation of the Character . First then to distinguish what that Tyranny is which he justifies we may lawfully oppose , and what Invasion that , we may justly repel , I must refer the Reader to the Character page 22d . Char. What does this Popish King by admitting the Popes Supremacy , but divest himself of half his Royalty , whilst like the Junior King of Brentford in the play he resigns and alienates the Right hand power of Majesty to an Invader and Usurper ; and thus we are enslaved by a medley Government betwixt Tyranny and Usurpation . and again . page 6. Char. If he be a Man of Justice that still makes for Rome , for whilst he believes the Pope to be Christs lawful Vicar , and that Office includes the Ecclesiastick Supremacy , no doubt but he 'le think it as much the duty of his Christianity to give the Pope his right as to take his own . So that upon this supposition of the Popes Supremacy restored , the Author has stated both our Tyrants and our Slavery . But to return to Mr. L'estrange . page 73. Mr. L. In our Oath of Supremacy we swear that the King is the ONLY SUPREME , Governor SUPREME , so none , ( not the Pope ) above him , and ONLY SUPREME , so none coordinate or equal with him . If so , and the King is Supreme Governor Ecclesiastick and Civil , and a Popish King notwithstanding shall alienate half his Supremacy to the Pope , then the Pope is co-King with him ; and that it may not be objected that Supream Ecclesiastick Power is not Kingly Power , where the Highest and last Appeal lyes , there lyes Royal Power , and therefore whilst the highest and last appeal in all causes Ecclesiastick , in such a Government is lodged in the Pope his Power is Royal. For it would be very absurd to say that a Supreme Moderator in causes betwixt Man and Man should be a Kingly Governor , and a Supreme Moderator in causes between God and Man should be none . That were to place a Majesty in that Authority that says Thou shalt not steal , and none in that that says Thou shalt have no other Gods but me . 'T is true the Pope to mince the matter , and to Sham upon those Romish Kings that Admit of his Church Supremacy , very cunningly usurps the Prerogative without the Name , and therefore wherever he is Supream Iudge , he lets the Temporal Soveraignty be still the Supream Sheriff , for whereever his Tribunal condemns , the Popish King is Hangman Generalissimo to execute . Yet still in reality his Power is never the less Kingly , when we see that this Popish Executioner under him , is so far from the Exercise of any Regal Authority in his Sheriffalty , that he 's but a substitute of the Popes , and accountable to the Pope for the least neglect or misdemeanor in his office of that kind , so that the reestablishment of the Popes Supremacy here , is setting up a new Kingly Power . But by what Title ? None . For granting his Supremacy of old was his right whilst he possest it , yet considering that right has been lost above a Hundred years together , by the Laws of Conquest 't is now wholly expired , and he can lay no more claim or pretence to 't after so long an alienation , then the Christians to Constantinople , or the Danes or Saxons to England . Now 't is a known Maxim in England that a King of himself cannot give , sell , or alienate all , or part of his hereditary Soveraign Power , neither can he any more restore the Pope ( out of a freak of conscience ) to his Supremacy , or his Abby Lubbers to their old fat pastures , then he can say to the Duke of Saxony , Sir , lay claim to half England and 't is yours , and therefore land a colony in the West of England , and Crown your self King there , whilst I content my self with the Soveraignty of York-shire , and two or three more Northern Counties about it . Nay suppose a King should say so , and this Saxon Prince upon that presumption should come , and make a Seisure , there 's never a Subject in England , notwithstanding their Lawful Soveraigns special Gommand to them to yeeld Obedience to this usurping invading Saxon , that may not justly and with a safe Conscience oppose this Invader , and shoot him though the heart at the very first step he makes into England . For whatever passive Obedience is due to our Native Prince we have none due to a Forreign Invader . So likewise 't is a plain case that the Popes Supremacy entring into England is an Invading and Usurping Royalty . For though we are bound to pay fealty , to what ever Deputies , Viceroys , or Subministers the King shall Ordain or Institute under him , yet the Popes Supremacy cannot come under that name , for it ceases to be Supream if there be a Power above it . So that whenever the King shall say to the Pope assume your Prerogative , there 's never a Subject of England , that may not by violence rescue an Heretick from a Stake that 's condemn'd by that Prerogative , or any delegated Authority from the Usurped Supremacy of the Pope , nay if they burn the very Tribunal about those Jesuitish Judges eares that pronounced that Hereticks Condemnation , they may Iustify the Fact both to their King and their God. The Papist in Masquerade draws now near to a Conclusion , and gives the Characteriser a dead doing blow at last stroke , by the Argument raised against the Characters position , that Kings were made for the People , and not the People for the Kings . Though by the way the Characterisers assertion is not only one Drs. opinion ; for if he will allow King Iames to have as much sense as himself , we shall find him , ( if we may take his Royal word for 't ) a little leaning towards the Characters side , witness this clause in one of his Speeches in Parliament . Anno 1603. As I am a Head and Governor of all the People in my Dominions , who are my natural Vassals and Subjects considering them in number and distinct Ranks ; so if we take the People as one Body and Mass , then as the Head is ordeind for the Body , and not the Body for the Head , so must a righteous King know himself to be ordain'd for his People , and not his People for him ; for though a King and his People be Relata , yet can he be no King if he want People and Subjects ; but there be many People in the World that lack a Head , &c But no matter for all this , Kings are but Men , and this human Error of King Iames , must not dare to oppose the more sacred Authority of Mr. Lestrange . For to bafflle this gross Mistake of them both , he continues , But after all these Words , to shew that Government originally was not popular , I shall add a few more to prove the Institution of it to be purely Divine ; which Opinion , in truth , needs not any other support then the Authority of the holy Scriptures . By me Kings reighn &c. I have made the Earth , the Man , and the Beasts that are upon the Ground by my great Power , and my Out-stretch'd Arm , and have given it to whom it seem'd meet unto me Ier. 27th . 5. Now I cannot find by this Text : By me Kings raighn &c. But that by me Subjects possess their lawful Inheritances might claim the same right . For an Empire to a Monarch and a Lordship to a Subject , a Naboths Vineyard , or an Ahabs Kingdom are equally the Gift of God , and by our Authors reasons may equally pretend to a Divine Iustitution . Neither is there so much Support as he calls it in this holy Authority , but I can match it with another as holy and as much to his purpose , which tells us , not a Sparrow falls to the Ground without the will of my Father , &c. Now if no King reighns without him , and no Sparrow falls without him ; a Manmight ask him why the holy Authority of this last Text might not make the falling of a Sparrow have as much of divine Institution in it as the Enthroning of a Monarch . Nor can I perceive that there lies so much stress in Gods giving the Government of the Earth , Man , and Beasts to whom it seem'd Meet to him , as to Nebuchadnezar in the Text , but that a MENE , MENE , TEKEL , UPHARZIN , written by the Almighties own hand against his impious Heir , the sacrilegious Idolatrous Balshazar was as much the Word of God , and had as much divine Institution in it as by me Kings raign . But to proceed in our Authors argument . Mr. L. That which we now call Kingly Government was at First called Paternal , and after Patriarchal &c. And we sind by the powers they excercised &c. And so he advances in a Florid Descant upon this Subject till he lodges the first Paternal Kingly Government in Adam . Here you may perceive he 's harping at the old Iure Divino , but I shall wave that point of dispute , and even with granting his supposition true , out of his own opinion invalidate the chief argument of all his discourse , and the Fundamental Design of his whole pamphlet , ( viz : ) Unalterable Right of Succession . If then ( as he says ) the Patriarchall power was Kingly , how comes it to pass that Esau forfeited his Royal Inheritance ? and Iacob his younger Brother got it from him ; nay the alienation of his Birthright ( as Regal and as Divine as our Masquerader would have it , ) was transferd to the younger Brother even by God himself , and that too ( as we read in Gods promis to the Mother ) before they were born . Nay though the Father Isaac had no prejudice against Esau , but resolved to make him his Heir , and accordingly sent him for venison to cherish his heart , that he might receive his Blessing and with it the Assurance of his Inheritance ; yet when Iacob by Artifice , and his Brothers borrowed Name had deceived the Father , and extorted the Blessing , we find the grant of his Inheritance , though fraudulently obtain'd was so far from being retracted , that the Fathers promise and word even to the Counterfeit Esau was more sacred , then all the formidable ties of Blood , and the inviolable Right of Succession . Now I hope , our wise Author will not quarrel with Isaacs Injustice and appeal to the Light of Nature and Common Right for the Redress of Esaus wrongs . Perhaps it may be objected rhat Esau sold his Birth-right foolishly for a Mess of Pottage , though that we find had no influence on Isaacs Determination , yet if a Royal Birth-right could be sold or forfeited either by the Folly or Fault of the Heir , where 's SUCCESSION ? and if in our present State of England we have an Heir of those corrupted Principles , and that depraved Infatuation , till he has prodigally forfeited his Fathers and his Grand-Fathers Blessings , the one having sealed the Protestant Faith with his Blood , and the other having particularly entayl'd a curse upon all his Progeny that should ever Apostatise from the Protestant Truth to the Popish Superstition , if we have an Heir so bewitcht by the Charms of Rome , which like the Syrens songs can convert Reason into Madness , or rather like Circes Bowles transform Men into Swine , why not the Prodigals fare the husks , a more proper Reward from him , than a Coronation Festival . This I am certain , if he had Esaus Fate , the Blessing and Inheritance should go together . I shall only instance one particular more out of holy Writt , I hope his &c. in the last Paragraph will allow the Iudges of Israel were a Kingly Power as well as the Patriarchal , and that they may indeed appear so , we find their Government the most agreeing with the present Monarchy of England , for they had the Power of Life and Death , Peace and War in their Prerogative , but then as a Restriction against Absolute and Arbitrary power , ( like our Common and Ecclesiastick Laws ) their Constitution of Government was limited and confined withing the establisht and recorded Mosaick Law which was the ultimate Verge of their Jurisdiction both Civil and Spiritual . Now here in the case of Samuel Judge of Isreal we find him parting with his Royalty and conferring it upon his two Sons even in his own Life time : after that we find the Israelites disgusted against their ill Government and asking for a King , that is such a King as those of the Nations round about e'm , viz. an Absolute Monarch . And upon this Saul stept up into the Throne . Now here we may observe there was so little Regard had to the Right of Succession that their lawful Judges even after possession were divested of their Royal Dignity , and that too ( mark it ) not only upon the Peoples Request , but even by a Command from the immediate Voice of God , without the lest Reflection of the Duty of passive Obedience to Samuels Sons those corrupted Judges of Isreal . And though it may be objected that God was angry with the Children of Israel for their desires of Change , in that they had follow'd other Gods , and that this asking for a King as we read ) look'd like rejecting of him that had brought e'm out of Egypt , and deliver'd them from the Hands of their Enemies , yet since God complyed with that desire , no Man must say , this Change was unlawful or the removal of their Royal Judges unjust . But in Answer to all this , our Masquerader will not want a Justification for the unalterable Right of Succession , nay rather than stand out at a dead Lift hee 'll start you up a common Right and a Light of Nature that upon occasion shall supersede even the Records of Scripture and the very immediate Acts of God. Nay we find , after the Constitution of that more absolute Iewish Monarchy which began in Saul , that his very next Successor was a Stranger to his Blood , a Man of a quite different Family ; in so much that David the Man after Gods own heart , a man so eminently beloved of the Almighty , that from his Loyns the promis'd Messias should procceed , was a Prince so far from owing his Crown to the Right of Birth and Blood , that he was anointed King even in his Predecessors life in spight of the Greater sons of Saul those nearer and juster pretenders to the Crown had Birth-right given e'm title to it . But so Early a sea-mark did God set up against that fatal Rock , unalterable Succession ; and so timely a care did the great Founder of Empires , the Divine Omnipotence take , to show that the Dispensations of Majesty for his Peoples good and his own Glory , were to be preferr'd before the Soveraignty of Birth , that blinder gift of Chance . But to come a little down to our own age , even in all our latest Modern constitutions of Monarchy , and that not only in England but all the Christian Kingdoms in Europe , we find there is not altogether that infallibility in Birth right , but that Fools and Mad-men notwithstanding their proximity of descent are excluded from Empire , so that by Mr. Lestranges permission a Shallow Perecranium or an Addled one upon occasion shall put very good Royal veins out of play . So that to make Monarchy go a little hand in hand with our new natural Philosophy , some Criticks will tell you , that the Life of it lyes more in the Head than the Heart , that is , in the Brain than the Blood. And that I need not stray far for an Instance , have we not had a late King of Portugal deposed as Delirious and Frantick and consequently render'd by Law uncapable of reighning , and all this done by his own Subjects and those of his own Religion , without the least Reflection of Treason or Rebellion or the Aspersion of lifting a hand against the Lords anointed . Nay if truth might make bold in England there be those that dare honestly venture to say there must go so strong a Dose of Folly and Madness or indeed both together to make up the composition of a Popish Heir to the Protestant Crown of England , especially an Heir that can be fond of the Gugaws , Bawbles and Trumpery of the Romish Superstition as to hazard three Crowns for them , and that too by an Apostacy from a native Hereditary Protestant Faith , not only derived down to him , but more signally sealed by a Royal Fathers Martyrdom , a light which certainly would shine through all the mists and fogs the Iesuitish Magick has or can cast about him , though thicker if possible then the Egyptian Darkness it self , a Darkness to be felt ; were there not a Skull in the case more than strangely impenetrable , and a Cerebellum if possibly more than supernaturally impedimented : so that if in Truth he but fairly stood the Test of an old Statute we have already , the Begging of his Reversion would be so feasible that it would be cross we won , and pile he lost . But to come yet a little nearer to the mark , as it is most undoubtedly true that Soules are never Generate , and consequently not always derived from the Father that Begets , it sometimes so falls out by the Caprice of some ill natured planet , or to come to a more Christian notion , by the indisputable Will of Omnipotence that moulds the Clay as he pleases , to make such infinite disproportions in the unequal distributing of those sparks of his own Celestial fires call'd soules , that so much over rule the inferior Mass of Flesh and Blood , and sometimes so far Estrange and alienated a Son from the Nature , Temper , and indeed almost every thing of the Father , till it does worse then Bastardize even Legitimacy it self . FINIS 
A35553	----	The tears of the Indians being an historical and true account of the cruel massacres and slaughters of above twenty millions of innocent people, committed by the Spaniards in the islands of Hispaniola, Cuba, Jamaica, &c. : as also in the continent of Mexico, Peru, & other places of the West-Indies, to the total destruction of those countries / written in Spanish by Casaus, an eye-witness of those things ; and made English by J.P. Brevísima relación de la destrucción de las Indias. English Casas, Bartolomé de las, 1474-1566. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A35553 of text R19416 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing C799). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 169 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 84 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A35553 Wing C799 ESTC R19416 12043209 ocm 12043209 53024 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A35553) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 53024) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 86:8) The tears of the Indians being an historical and true account of the cruel massacres and slaughters of above twenty millions of innocent people, committed by the Spaniards in the islands of Hispaniola, Cuba, Jamaica, &c. : as also in the continent of Mexico, Peru, & other places of the West-Indies, to the total destruction of those countries / written in Spanish by Casaus, an eye-witness of those things ; and made English by J.P. Brevísima relación de la destrucción de las Indias. English Casas, Bartolomé de las, 1474-1566. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [32], 134 [i.e. 126], [1] p., [3] leaves of plates : 2ill. Printed by J.C. for Nath. Brook ..., London : 1656. Translation of: Brevísima relación de la destrucción de las Indias. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng Indians, Treatment of -- Latin America. Spain -- Colonies -- America. A35553 R19416 (Wing C799). civilwar no The tears of the Indians: being an historical and true account of the cruel massacres and slaughters of above twenty millions of innocent pe Casas, Bartolomé de las 1656 30232 11 0 0 0 0 0 4 B The rate of 4 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Teares of ye Indians or inquisition for Bloud Being a Relation of ye Spannish Massacres in those part . R Gaywood fecit The Tears of the INDIANS : BEING An Historical and true Account Of the Cruel Massacres and Slaughters of above Twenty Millions of innocent People ; Committed by the Spaniards In the Islands of Hispaniola , Cuba , Iamaica , &c. As also , in the Continent of Mexico , Peru , & other Places of the West-Indies , To the total destruction of those Countries . Written in Spanish by Casaus , an Eye-witness of those things ; And made English by I. P. DEUT. 29.15 . Therefore thine eye shall have no compassion ; but life for life , tooth for tooth , hand for hand , foot for foot . LONDON , Printed by I. C. for Nath. Brook , at the Angel in Cornhil . 1656. TO His Highness , OLIVER , LORD PROTECTOR of the Commonwealth of England , Scotland & Ireland , With the Dominions thereto belonging . May it please your Highness , I Have here laid prostate before the Throne of Your Justice , above Twenty Millions of the Souls of the slaughter'd Indians ; whose forc'd departure from their Bodies , Cruelty it self compassionates . Yet me-thinks I hear a sudden stillness among them ; the cry of Blood ceasing at the noise of Your great transactions , while You arm for their Revenge . By which it is apparent , how well your Highness doth observe the will of the most High , using Your vast Power and Dignity onely to the advancement of his Glory among the Nations : while the Divine Deitie bequeathes You back again immediate Recompences ; crowning You , like his holy Warriour , David , with the highest degree of earthly Fame . Therefore hath he inspired your Highness with a Prowess like that of Ioshua , to lead his Armies forth to Battel ; and a Zeal more devoutly fervent than that of Iehu , to cut off the Idolater from the earth . Which Divine vertues appear so eminent in You , that there is no man , who opposes not himself against Heaven , but doth extol Your just Anger against the Bloudy and Popish Nation of the Spaniards , whose Superstitions have exceeded those of Canaan , and whose Abominations have excell'd those of Ahab , who spilt the Blood of innocent Naboth , to obtain his Vineyard . And now , may it please your Highness , God having given You a full Victory over Your Enemies in this Land , and a fix'd Establishment , by the prosperous and total quelling of those pertinacious Spirits ; certainly there is no true English-man who doth not lift up his eyes to heaven with Thanks to Almighty God , that You have made the Land so happie , as to be the Admiration of other Nations , who have laid themselvs at Your feet for Alliances , as knowing Your wonderful Successes both by Sea and Land . Pardon me , Great Sir , if next my zeal to Heaven , the loud Cry of so many bloudy Massacres , far surpassing the Popish Cruelties in Ireland , the Honour of my Country , of which You are as tender as of the Apple of Your own eye , hath induced me , out of a constant Affection to your Highness Service , to publish this Relation of the Spanish Cruelties ; whereby all good men may see and applaud the Justness of Your Proceedings : Being confident that God , who hath put this Great Designe into Your Hands , will also be pleased to give it a signal Blessing ; which is the Prayer of Your HIGHNESS most faithful , and most obedient Servant , I. Phillips . To all true English-men . NEver had we so just cause to exclaim in the words of the Prophet Jeremiah ; O that our heads were waters , and our eyes fountains of tears , that we might weep for the Effusion of so much Innocent Blood which provok'd these sad Relations of devout CASAUS , by reason of the cruel Slaughters and Butcheries of the Iesuitical Spaniards , perpetrated upon so many Millions of poor innocent Heathens , who having onely the light of Nature , not knowing their Saviour Iesus Christ , were sacrificed to the Politick Interest and Avarice of the wicked Spaniards . The blood of Ireland , spilt by the same Faction , in comparison of these Massacres , was but as a Drop to the Ocean . It was the Saying of Christ himself , the Son of Mercy , and Redeemer of the World , That we ought not to cast the Childrens Bread to dogs : But what would he have judg'd of those , that not onely cast the Bread , but the Blood ; and not onely the Blood , but the Innocent Blood of men , women and children , to satisfie the contemptible hunger of their Hounds ? The intention of these men was Murder ; and they kill'd up the poor Indians , not as if they had been their Fellow-Mortals , but like Death it self ; and invaded their Land , not like Men , but like the Pestilence , whose destruction is Epidemical . When our own Case had a small Resemblance of this , how sensible the People were , and how they mourned at the burning of a poor Village ; the usual Accidents , or rather , things to be expected , in a tedious and necessitated War : but , had you been Eye-witnesses of the transcending Massacres here related ; had you been one of those that lately saw a pleasant Country , now swarming with multitudes of People , but immediately all depopulated , and drown'd in a Deluge of Bloud : had you been one of those that saw great Cities of Nations and Countries in this moment flourishing with Inhabitants , but in the next , totally ruin'd with such a general Desolation , as left neither Person living , nor House remaining : had you seen the poor innocent Heathens shaming and upbraiding , with the ghastliness of their Wounds , the devilish Cruelties of those that called themselves Christians : had you seen the poor creatures torn from the peace and quiet of their own Habitations , where God had planted them , to labour in a Tormenting Captivity , by many degrees worse then that of Algier , or the Turkish Galleys ; your Compassion must of necessity have turn'd into Astonishment : the tears of Men can hardly suffice ; these are Enormities to make the Angels mourn and bewail the loss of so many departed souls , as might have been converted and redeemed to their eternal Mansions . We read of old , of the Ten Persecutions wherein the Primitive Christians were destroy'd by the Cruelties of the Heathen Emperours : but we now read of Christians , the Professors of a Religion grounded upon Love and Charity , massacring , where there was no cause of Antipathy , but their own obstinate Barbarism ; as if because their Wickedness had so far transform'd them into Devils , they were resolved to deface the image of God , so innocently conversing among them . The Turks and Scythians shall be now no more the Adagies of Cruelty among us ; for here is a Christian Nation which hath taken off that Envie from them , and entayl'd it upon themselves . And now , O men of England , let me ask you but this Question ; Whether you , that for these many years have had the Honour to be the Patrons of Religion ; whose Charity hath still relieved , and whose Power hath still defended the Cause of the Oppressed at home and abroad ; whether you can withdraw your Assistance from this Great Work , and deprive your selves of that Birth-right which you seem to have among the Nations , God still continuing the Management of his Iustice in the hands of our most Fortunate and Lawful Magistrate , whom he hath rais'd up , as his Great Instrument , to revenge the Blood of that innocent People . Consider this , moreover , That you are not uow to fight against your Country-men , but against your Old and Constant Enemies , the SPANIARDS , a Proud , Deceitful , Cruel , and Treacherous Nation , whose chiefest Aim hath been the Conquest of this Land , and to enslave the People of this Nation ; witness those Invasions in the days of Queen ELIZABETH ; whose Leagues of Amity we had more reason to repent of , then to rejoyce at , as being destructive to the Nation , and made with those that onely sought the Advantages of Peace , that they might be more safe to do us Mischief : and so little they car'd for Peace with us , that they never sought it , but when meer Vrgencies of State requir'd ; and never kept their Articles , when they had the least hope of Profit to themselves : Of which we need not look for ancient Examples ; they are fresh in Memory , and have been too sadly and undeservedly sustain'd , both nearer home , and of late years in the West-Indies also , as appears by that Pious and Prudent DECLARATION set forth by his Highness the LORD PROTECTOR ; as if Providence had so ordain'd it , that by the Wrongs of our Country-men in those Parts , we should be interested in the Quarrel of those Innocent Nations . Neither need we to fear the Vaunts of the Spanish Monarch , whose Government stands not on those strong Foundations that some imagine ; Blood and Tyrannie being the chief Pillars of his Greatness , or rather , his Arcana Imperii ; & his Empire being onely strong in this , That the Weaknesses thereof have not yet been well look'd into . Should we chase him from his Indian Treasures , he would soon retire to his Shell , like a Snail tapt upon the horns . And perhaps it would not a little avail to the General Peace of Europe , whereby we should be strengthened against the Common Enemy of Christianitie . For doubtless it hath been the Satanical Scope of this Tyrant , To set all the European Princes at Variance , and to keep them busie at home , that they might not have leasure to bend their Forces against his Golden Regions . But he pretends a Right to them , though upon very slender Grounds : for that the English may better claim then himself ; it being first discovered , as is well known , and tendered to Henry the Seventh , by Sebastian Cabot , one of his own Captains . Which brings to minde the Poor Spirits of our English Kings , who would not regard such an Advantage , so highly importing the Honour of the Nation , so far as to be almost guilty of the Bloud shed in those parts , through their neglect . But for farther satisfaction concerning the Right of the English to the West-Indies , I shall refer you to a further Treatise , which I may ere long put forth . And now , honoured Country-men , seeing that by Divine Providence the Cruelties and Barbarous Massacres of the Spaniards have been so apparently presented to you , I cannot but be confident of your Endeavours , as you tender the Good and Welfare of your Native Country , to acquit your selves in so just a Cause , which God hath put into the Heart and Hands of our Supreme Magistrate , who is so Vigilant to embrace all Opportunities for the Good of the Nation . Tears of the Indies , or Inquisition for Bloud : being the Relation of the Spanish Massacre there . IN the year 1492. the West-Indies were discovered , in the following year they were inhabited by the Spaniards : a great company of the Spaniards going about 49. years agoe . The first place they came to , was Hispaniola , being a most fertile Island , and for the bignesse of it very famous , it being no less then six hundred miles in compass . Round about it lie an innumerable company of Islands , so throng'd with Inhabitants , that there is not to be found a greater multitude of people in any part of the world . The Continent is distant from this about Two hundred miles , stretching it self out in length upon the sea side for above Ten thousand miles in length . This is already found out , and more is daily discovered . These Countreys are inhabited by such a number of people , as if God had assembled and called together to this place , the greatest part of Mankinde . This infinite multitude of people was so created by God , as that they were without fraud , without subtilty or malice , to their natural Governours most faithful and obedient . Toward the Spaniards whom they serve , patient , meek and peaceful , and who laying all contentious and tumultuous thoughts aside , live without any hatred or desire of revenge ; the people are most delicate and tender , enjoying such a feeble constitution of body as does not permit them to endure labour , so that the Children of Princes and great persons here , are not more nice and delicate then the Children of the meanest Countrey-man in that place . The Nation is very poor and indigent , possessing little , and by reason that they gape not after temporal goods , neither proud nor ambitious . Their diet is such that the most holy Hermite cannot feed more sparingly in the wildernesse . They go naked , only hiding the undecencies of nature , and a poor shag mantle about an ell or two long is their greatest and their warmest covering . They lie upon mats , only whose who have larger fortunes , lye upon a kinde of net which is tied at the four corners , and so fasten'd to the roof , which the Indians in their natural language call Hamecks . They are of a very apprehensive and docible wit , and capable of all good learning , and very apt to receive our Religion , which when they have but once tasted , they are carryed on with a very ardent and zealous desire to make a further progress in it ; so that I have heard divers Spaniards confesse that they had nothing else to hinder them from enjoying heaven , but their ignorance of the true God . To these quiet Lambs , endued with such blessed qualities , came the Spaniards like most cruel Tygres , Wolves , and Lions , enrag'd with a sharp and tedious hunger ; for these forty years past , minding nothing else but the slaughter of these unfortunate wretches , whom with divers kinds of torments neither seen nor heard of before , they have so cruelly and inhumanely butchered , that of three millions of people which Hispaniola it self did contain , there are left remaining alive scarce three hundred persons . And for the Island of Cuba , which contains as much ground in length , as from Valladolid to Rome ; it lies wholly desert , untill'd and ruin'd . The Islands of St. Iohn and Iamaica lie waste and desolate . The Lucayan Islands neighbouring toward the North upon Cuba and Hispaniola , being above Sixty or thereabouts with those Islands that are vulgarly called the Islands of the Gyants , of which that which is least fertile is more fruitful then the King of Spains Garden at Sevil , being situated in a pure and temperate air , are now totally unpeopled and destroyed ; the inhabitants thereof amounting to above 500000. souls , partly killed , and partly forced away to work in other places : so that there going a ship to visit those parts and to glean the remainder of those distressed wretches , there could be found no more then eleven men . Other Islands there were near the Island of St. Iohn more then thirty in number , which were totally made desert . All which Islands , though they amount to such a number containing in length of ground the space of above Two thousand miles , lie now altogether solitary without any people or Inhabitant . Now to come to the Continent , we are confident , and dare affirm upon our own knowledge , that there were ten Kingdomes of as large an extent as the Kingdome of Spain , joyning to it both Arragon , and Portugal , containing above a thousand miles every one of them in compass , which the unhumane and abominable villanies of the Spaniards have made a wilderness of , being now as it were stript of all their people , and made bare of all their inhabitants , though it were a place formerly possessed by vast and infinite numbers of men ; And we dare confidently aver , that for those Forty years , wherin the Spaniards exercised their abominable cruelties , and detestable tyrannies in those parts , that there have innocently perish'd above Twelve millions of souls , women and children being numbred in this sad and fatall list ; moreover I do verily believe that I should speak within compass , should I say that above Fifty millions were consumed in this Massacre . As for those that came out of Spain , boasting themselves to be Christians , they took two several waies to extirpate this Nation from the face of the Earth , the first whereof was a bloudy , unjust , and cruel war which they made upon them : a second by cutting off all that so much as sought to recover their liberty , as some of the stouter sort did intend . And as for the Women and Children that were lest alive , they laid so heavy and grievous a yoke of servitude upon them that the condition of beasts was much more tolerable . Unto these two heads all the other several torments and inhumanities which they used to the ruine of these poor Nations may be reduced . That which led the Spaniards to these unsanctified impieties was the desire of Gold , to make themselves suddenly rich , for the obtaining of dignities & honours which were no way fit for them . In a word , their covetousness , their ambition , which could not be more in any people under heaven , the riches of the Countrey , and the patience of the people gave occasion to this their devillish barbarism . For the Spaniards so contemned them ( I now speak what I have seen without the least untruth ) that they used them not like beasts , for that would have been tolerable , but looked upon them as if they had been but the dung and filth of the earth , and so little they regarded the health of their souls , that they suffered this great multitude to die without the least light of Religion ; neither is this lesse true then what I have said before , and that which those tyrants and hangmen themselves dare not deny , without speaking a notorious falshood , that the Indians neevr gave them the least cause to offer them violence , but received them as Angels sent from heaven , till their excessive cruelties , the torments and slaughters of their Country-men mov'd them to take Armes against the Spaniards . Of Hispaniola . They erected certain Gallowses , that were broad but so low , that the tormented creatures might touch the ground with their feet , upon every one of which they would hang thirteen persons , blasphemously affirming that they did it in honour of our Redeemer and his Apostles , and then putting fire under them , they burnt the poor wretches alive . Those whom their pity did think fit to spare , they would send away with their hands half cut off , and so hanging by the skin . Thus upbraiding their flight , Go carry letters to those who lye hid in the mountains and are fled from us . This Death they found out also for the Lords and Nobles of the Land ; they stuck up forked sticks in the ground , and then laid certain perches upon them , and so laying them upon those perches , they put a gentle fire under , causing the fire to melt them away by degrees , to their unspeakable torment . One time above the rest I saw four of the Nobles laid upon these perches , and two or three other of these kinde of hurdles furnished after the same manner ; the clamours and cries of which persons being troublesome to the Captain , he gave order that they should be hang'd , but the Executioner whose name I know , and whose parents are not obscure , hindred their Calamity from so quick a conclusion , stopping their mouthes , that they should not disturb the Captain , and still laying on more wood , till being roasted according to his pleasure , they yeelded up the ghost . Of these and other things innumerable I have been an eye-witnesse ; Now because there were some that shun'd like so many rocks the cruelty of a Nation so inhumane , so void of piety and love to mankinde , and therefore fled from them to the mountains ; therefore they hunted them with their Hounds , whom they bred up and taught to pull down and tear the Indians like beasts : by these Dogs much humane bloud was shed ; and because the Indians did now and then kill a Spaniard , taking him at an advantage , as justly they might ; therefore the Spaniards made a Law among themselves , that for one Spaniard so slaine , they should kill a hundred Indians . Of the Kingdomes which the Island of Hispaniola did contain . THE Island of Hispaniola had in it five very great Kingdomes , and five very potent Kings , to whom the other Lords , of which there was a very great number were for the most part subject ; for there were some few Lords of peculiar Countries that did not acknowledge the jurisdiction of these Kings ; one of these Kingdomes is called Maqua , which signifies a plain . This Plain if there be any thing in the world worth taking notice , claims a very nice observation . For from the South to the North it is stretcht forward fourscore miles in length ; in breadth it takes up sometimes eight , sometimes five , and sometimes ten miles , on all sides it is shut up with very high mountains ; it is watered by thirty thousand Rivers and Rivolets , whereof twelve are not lesse then either Duerus , Ebrus , or Guadalgevir : and all the Rivers which run from the Mountains on the West side , whose number is twenty thousand , do all of them abound with gold . With which Mountain the Province of Cibao is bounded , where are the Mines of Cibao , that afford the most exquisite and pure Gold which is so much valued among us . This Kingdome was govern'd by Guarionex , who had under his jurisdiction as his vassals , Lords and Governors so potent , that every one of them was able to bring into the field for the service of Guarionex , above Sixteen thousand men apiece . Some of which Lords I very well knew ; this King was not meanly vertuous , by nature peaceful , and much devoted to the King of Castile . This King commanded his subjects that they should present to the Spaniards a bell full of Gold , which when they were not able to do by reason that the people had but little skill how to dig out the Gold , he thereupon commanded them to present the Spaniards with as much as they could fill . Here a Cacicus or Governour offer'd himself to the service of the King of Castile , upon condition , that he would take care that all the Countrey from Isabella to St. Domingo , being five hundred miles in length , might be till'd ; which promises I am very confident he would cheerfully have performed ; and then might the King of Castile have had a revenue of above Three millions of Castilian Crowns , and there had been still remaining in the Island above fifty Cities as large all of them as Sevill . But what was the recompence which they afforded to this milde and bountiful Prince ? they suffered one of the Spanish Captains unworthy of the name of a Christian to vitiate his Wife . He might have raised an army and endevoured a revenge ▪ but he rather chose to leave his Kingdome and his dignity , and to live a banished person in the Province of Coquaios , where a potent vassal and subject of his inhabited . But the Spaniards hearing of his flght , resolved not to let him lurk anywhere ; but immediately making war upon him that had received them so liberally , they never rested till they had wasted all the Kingdome to finde him out , at length he fell into their hands ; and no sooner had they taken him , but they fettered him immediately , putting him into a ship that was bound for Spain ; but the ship was wrackt by the way , many Spaniards perishing , and a great treasure of Gold being lost ; God so taking revenge upon their enormities . Another Kingdome was called Marien , where there is a port at one end of the plain that looks toward the North , being larger and more fertile then the Kingdome of Portugal , and which very well deserves to be better peopled ; for it abounds with Mountains wherein are great store of Gold Mines . The name of the King that there ruled was Guacanagari , under whom there were many other potent Lords , some of whom I knew : To this place came the old sea Captain that first discovered America , who was received with so much courtesie and friendship by Guacanagari , who gave him and his associates all the help and assistance that might be ( for his ship was there sunk ) that upon his return into Spain he would often affirm , that his own parents in his own Countrey were never so friendly to him . This King flying from the cruelty and enormous murders of the Spaniards , being depriv'd of his Kingdome , died poorly in the mountains . The rest of his Nobles ended their lives in that servitude and slavery which shall be hereafter related . The third Kingdome was Maquana , a Countrey very temperate and fertile , where the best Sugar in that Island is made . In this Countrey at that time Canabao did reign , who for power , dignity , gravity , and the ceremonies which were used towards him , far exceeded the rest . This King suspecting nothing lesse , was by the craft and subtlety of the Spaniards taken in his own house ; whom when they had taken they put a shipboard to send him to Castile ; but there being six ships in the Port ready to set sayle , the sea began to swell so high , and to be so unruly , that all the six ships with the Spaniards in them , together with King Canabao , who was laden with chains , all perished in the waves . The great God shewing the Judgements of his wrath upon these unjust and wicked wretches as he had done upon the others . This King had three or four brothers stout and valiant men , who being offended at the Captivity of their Lord and King , hearing of the devastations and rapines daily committed by the Spaniards in these Countries , and understanding that their brother was dead , resolved to take armes for the reliefe of their Countrey ; but the Spaniards meeting them with a certain number of horse , which are a very great terror to the Indians made such a slaughter among them , that they depopulated the greatest part of this Countrey . The Fourth Kingdome was called Xaraqua , being in the centre and middle of the whole Island , for eloquence of language , as also for good government and gentile customes , it excels all the rest , there was in it a great company of Lords and noble men , and for the people themselves they were the most comely in the whole Island . The King of this Countrey was called Behechio , who had a sister who was called Anacaona . Both the Brother and the Sister were very bountifull to the Spaniards , for they had freed them from the dangers of imminent death , shewing great kindnesses to the Kings of Castile . Behechio being dead , the Kingdome was solely govern'd by his Sister . Now it happened one day , that the Governour of the Island with sixty Horse , and three hundred Foot ( though the Horsemen were sufficient not only to wast the Island , but also the whole Continent ) cal'd to him about three hundred of the Peers and Lords of the Nation , the greatest part whereof who were the more powerful , having by craft got them together in a straw Cottage , he cause to be burnt alive together with the house , the rest with an infinite sight of people he caused to be put to death by the Souldiers , who murdred the poor people like dogs with their Swords and Launces . As for Anacaona the Queen , that he might seem to be more courteous to her , he caused her to hang her self . And if it happened that any who were either moved with compassion , or covetousnesse , thinking to make lacqueys or servants of the Children , had set them behinde their horses , another would come behinde them , and either run them through , or cut off their legs if they hung down upon the horse sides . And when certain of the Indians , who escaped this furious massacre fled into an Island distant from them about some eight miles , they were by the Governour condemned to perpetual servitude . The wars being now at an end , and the inhabitants all killed up , the women and children being only reserved , they divided them among themselves , giving to one thirty , to another forty , to one a hundred , to another two hundred , and those that had most , received them on this condition , that they should instruct them in the Catholick Faith , though commonly their Masters were a company of stupid , ignorant , and covetous fellowes , and defiled with all manner of vices . But the main care was to send the men to work in the Gold Mines , which is an intolerable labour , and to send the women to manure and till the ground ; an exercise fit only for the stoutest men . These they fed with nothing but roots and hearbs , so that the milk of women with childe being dried up , by that reason the poor little infants died . And the men being separated from the women , there was no more issue to be expected from them . The men perished in the Gold Mines with hunger and labour , the women perished in the fields , being tired out with the same calamities : and thus was a vast number of the inhabitants of this Island wholly extirpated . Besides all this they caused them to carry great burdens of a hundred and fourscore pound , and to travell with it a hundred or two hundred miles . They were also forc'd to carry the Spaniards up and down in their Hamechs , using them in manner of beasts to carry their burthens and the necessaries of their journeys . And as for the blows which they gave them with whips , cudgels and their fists , wherewith they continually tormented them in their labour , I could be hardly able to finde either time or paper to make a narration large enough of those things . Now it is here to be noted that the desolation of these Islands and Provinces happened after the death of Queen Isabel , who deceased in the year 1504 , for before that time few of the Provinces were intrenched upon by any unjust war , or over-flowed with this deluge of devastation ; or if any thing was before that time done , it was conceal'd from the knowledge of the Queen , for she was alwayes zealous and solicitous for the safety and prosperity of this poor people . And this may be also a generall rule , that the Spaniards to what ever part of the Indies they did come to , after that time ceased not to exercise their abominable slaughters , tyrannies , and execrable oppressions upon the poor people , and being delighted with new kindes of torments , daily encreased their cruelty and rage . Of the Islands St. John and Jamaica . IN the year 1509. the Islands of St. Iohn and Iamaica that look'd like fruitful gardens , were possessed by the Spaniards , with the same bloudy intentions , as the other were ; for there they also exercised their accustomed cruelties , killing , burning , roasting men , and throwing them to the dogs , as also by oppressing them with sundry and various torments in the Gold Mines , as if they had come to rid the earth of these innocent and harmelesse creatures , of whom above six hundred thousand were murthered in these two Islands , so lavish were the Spanish swords of the bloud of these poor souls , scarce two hundred more remaining ; the rest perished without the least knowledge of God . Of the Island of Cuba . IN the year , 1511. they went over into the Island of Cuba , which extends as far in length as it is from Valladolid to Rome , in which there were many fair Provinces , inhabited with an infinite number of people , where the humanity and clemency of the Spaniards was not only as little as it had been in other places , but their cruelty and rage much greater . In this Island many things were done worthy observation . A certain Lord of great power among them by name Hathvey , who had fled over to Cuba , that he might avoid either death or perpetual captivity , hearing by some of the Indians that the Spaniards were also come into this Island , having assembled the Indians together , he began as followeth : Countrymen and Friends , you are not ignorant of the rumour by which we understand that the Spaniards are come among us , neither am I now to tell you how they have used the inhabitants of Hapti ( so the call Hispaniola , in the Indian language ) you know it by a sad experience : nor can we hope to finde them more merciful then they did . Then quoth he , Countreymen do you know the Errand which brings them hither ? To whom they replyed , that was unknown to them , yet they further replyed , that that they were well assured of the cruel nature of the Spaniard . Then quoth he , I le tell ye the cause of their coming . They do worship some covetous and unsatisfied Deity , and to content the greedy worship of that Celestial Power , they require many things from us , using all their endevour to murther and enslave us . Which having said , taking up a little Chest filled with Gold , he proceeded in these words : Behold here the God of the Spaniards , and therefore if you think fitting , let us daunce and sing before this their God , Perhaps we may thereby appease his rage , and he well then command the Spaniards to let us alone : Who with an unanimous shout cryed out all , Well said , well said ; and so they went to dauncing round this box , not ceasing till they had sufficiently wearied themselves . Then the Lord Hathvey going on with his speech , quoth he , If we do keep this God till he be taken from us , we shall be surely slain , and therefore I think it expedient for us to cast it into the River ; so his counsell being followed , the Chest was cast into the River . When the Spaniards had landed in this Island , this noble man that had sufficient tryal of their manner , avoided them as much as he could , still flying from them and defending himself by force of armes upon all occasions . But at length being taken , for no other reason , but because he fled from those that sought his life , and defended himself that he might not be tormented to death , he was by the Spaniards burnt alive . While he was tyed to the stake , there came to him a Monk of the Order of St. Francis , who began to talk to him of God and of the Articles of our Faith , telling him , that the small respite which the Executioner gave him was sufficient for him to make sure his salvation if he believed . Upon which words after Hathvey had a little while paus'd , he asked the Monk if the door of heaven was open to the Spaniards , who answering , Yes , to the good Spaniards . Then replyed the other , Let me go to Hell that I may not come where they are . It happened once that the Citizens of a very fair City distant about twelve miles from the place where we were , came forth of the City to do us honour , and to submit themselves to the King of Castile , but they being returned home , the Governour of the Spaniards about the middle of the night as they were sleeping in their bed , and least suspecting any such thing , sent a company who came suddenly upon them , and set fire upon their houses , burning up both men , women and children , here some they murthered , others whom they spared , they tormented to make them tell where they had hid their Gold , after which they made them their slaves , having first marked them in the body : and immediately as soon as the fire was spent , they ran to finde out the Gold . At that time the Spaniards got above ten hundred thousand Crowns of Gold , out of which the King scarce had three hundred thousand sent him ; there were slain in this place eight hundred thousand people ; and those other Tyrants that came afterwards , emptied the Island of those that remained . Among all the notorious enormities committed by the foresaid Governour , there is one not to be omitted : a certain noble Indian presenting him , perhaps more for fear then love , a present of above nine thousand Crowns , the Spaniards not content with this , tied him to a stake , and stretching out his Legs , put fire to them , requiring a greater sum of Gold , who not able to endure the torment sent home for three thousand more ; notwithstanding the Spaniards with a fresh rage began to torment him again , but seeing that he was able to give them no more , they kept him so long over the fire till his marrow dropt from the soles of his feet , whereof he died . These were the torments wherewith they murthered not only the common People , but the Peers and Lords of those Nations . Sometimes it would happen , that a Band of Spaniards ranging abroad would light upon a mountain where the Indians were fled for protection from their cruelty , where they immediately fell upon the Indians , killing the Men , and taking the Women and Virgins captive ; & when a great company of the Indians pursued them with weapons for the recovery of their Wives and Children , they resolving not to let go their prey , when the Indians came near them , immediately with the points of their swords ran the poor Women and Children through the bodies . Upon which the wretched Indians beating their brests for grief would now and then burst forth in these words , O perverse men , O cruel Spaniards , What will ye kill helplesse women ? There was the house of a Noble man distant from Panama above 15. miles ; he was by name called Paris , and he was very wealthy in Gold ; to him the Spaniards came , and by him they were entertained like Brothers , he giving to the Captain , as a Present , fifteen thousand Crowns ; who by that perceiving that he must of necessity have a very great treasure , feigned a departure , but about the middle of the night returning again entred the City , set it on fire , sacrificing the poor people to the flames . Hence they took away about fifty or sixty thousand Crowns ▪ The Noble man escaping , gathered together what force he could and made after the Spaniards , who were gone away with no lesse then a hundred and forty thousand Crowns of his own Treasure ; when he had overtaken them , he fell upon them , and having slain above fifty of the Spaniards , he recovered his Gold again . The rest saved themselves by flight . But not long after the Spaniards returned with greater force upon the Noble man and having routed him , made slaves of all his people . Of the Province of Nicaraqua . IN the year 1522. the foresaid Governour went to subdue the Province of Nicaraqua . There is no man that can sufficiently expresse the fertility of this Island , the temperateness of the air , or the multitude of the people that did inhabit it . There was a vast number of people in this Province , for it contained divers cities above four mile in length : and for plenty of fruits ( which was the cause that it was so extreamly well habited ) without compare . This people because their Countrey was all plain and level , had not the shelter of the Mountains , neither could they be easily perswaded to leave it , so pleasant was their habitation . And therefore they endured far the greater misery , and persecution , and underwent a more unsufferable slavery , being the lesse able to bear it , by how much they were of a milde and gentle nature . This Tyrant vex'd and tormented these poor creatures with so many continual injuries , slaughters , captivities and cruelties , that no tongue is able to expresse them . Into this territory he sent above fifty horse , who totally extirpated the people of this Province by the Sword , sparing no age nor sex , not for any wrong they did them , but sometimes it came not so speedily when they called as they expected , or if they brought not such quantities of corn as they imposed , or if they did not bring a sufficient quantity of Indians to their service : for the Countrey being in a plain there was no avoiding the fury of the Horsemen . He commanded these Spaniards to go pillage and depopulate other Countreys , permitting to these Robbers , and Hangmen , to bring away and enslave what number of these poor people they pleased : whom they laded with chains that weighed above sixty or fifty pound , that they might not have the opportunity of escaping , so that it seldome hapned that above four in four thousand returned home ; and if either through the weight of their chains , or for hunger or thirst they did chance to faint by the way , because they would not hinder their journey , they cut off their heads immediately , throwing the head in one place and the body in another . And the poor captive Indians when they saw the Spaniards preparing for such journeys , at their departure would weep and fall into these kinde of sad expressions , These are the journeys that we have often gone , to serve the Christians , and then we could return home again to visit our Wives and Children , but now all hope is cut off from us , and we must never see them more . It happened also , by reason that it came into the Governors minde to change the Indians from one Master to another , pretending to take away force from some that he saw began to envie him , that there was no seed time nor harvest for a whole year ; now rather then the Spaniards would want , they took it from the Indians , by which means there perished no lesse then thirty thousand people ; which caused one woman for hunger to eat her own childe . And because these Cities and other places were such pleasant abodes , therefore the Spaniards took up their habitations in these places , dividing the possessions among themselves ; and as for the Indians , both old and young they lived in the houses of the Spaniards , drudging day & night in a perpetual captivity , who spared not the smallest children , but impos'd on them burdens as much as they were able to bear , and sometimes more ; & by this means allowing them neither houses nor any thing else proper to themselves , they destroyed them daily , and do daily destroy them : so that they exceeded the cruelties which they had committed in Hispaniola . They hastned also the death of many of these poor people , by forcing them to carry timber and planks for shipping to the port that was distant about thirty miles from this place ; compelling them also to fetch honey and wax from the Mountains , where they were many times devoured by the Tygres . Neither were they ashamed to lade and burthen Women with childe , as if they had been only beasts for carriage . But there was no greater plague that depopulated this Countrey , then a liberty granted by the Governour to the Spaniards , for the requiring of slaves and captives from the Nobles and potent men of the Kingdome ; who as often as the Spaniards obtained leave to demand them , which was every four or five moneths , and sometimes oftner , gave them constantly fifty servants , whom the Spaniards still threatned , that if they would not be obedient , they would either burn them alive , or throw them to the dogs . Now because the Indians have but few servants , for it is a very great matter to see above three servants in that place waiting upon a Noble man ; therefore the Nobility were fain to come to their subjects , from whom first they took all the Orphans , then coming to those that had many children , from them that had two they took one , and from those who had three they demanded two ; and thus they were fain to make up the Number which the threatning Tyrant required , while the poor people wept and deplor'd the sad misfortune of their Children , over whom they are very tender . Which being done for a daily continuance , in ten or twelve years they made a clean riddance of the inhabitants out of this place . For every foot there came five or six ships which returned full of Indians into the Regions of Panama and Peru , where they were sold , and ended their daies in captivity . For experience hath taught us this , that when ever the Indians are removed from their accustomed habitations into other climates , they quickly die ; the Spaniards neither affording them sufficient food , nor in times of sicknesse diminishing their labour , for which end they were only bought . And thus the number of people hurried from the enjoyment of their freedome into a sad and laborious captivity , amounted to five hundred thousand souls , of which above fifty or sixty thousand are already perished , and more daily perish . All these Massacres were committed within the space of fourteen years . There may be now remaining in the Province of Nicaraqua perhaps some four or five thousand men , though they daily diminish through the immoderate oppressions of the Spaniards . Notwithstanding in former time for number of people , it was the most flourishing place in the whole world . Of New Spain . IN the year 1517. New Spain was discovered ; after the discovery of which they did nothing first or second , but immediately sell to their old practises of cruelty and slaughter : for in the following year the Spaniards ( who call themselves Christians ) went thither to rob and kill ; though they gave out that they went to people the Countrey . From that year unto this present year 1542. the violence , injustice and tyrannies of the Spaniards came to their full height ; and now quite forgetting their humane natures , they laid aside all fear of God or of their King . For the slaughters , massacres , cruelties , devastations of Countreys , destructions of Cities , violences , tyrannies , and rapines of the Spaniards , which they did commit in these so many several and so large Kingdomes , are so numberlesse , and strike the minde with such a horror , that those which we have before related , are nothing in respect of these which we are to relate , being all perpetrated in the year 1518. and continued to this very moneth in a most sad and dreadfull manner ; so that what we said before holds very true , that the Spaniards still went on from bad to worse , themselves striving to exceed themselves in wickednesse . And thus from the first entry of the Spaniards into New Spain , which happened upon the tenth day of the moneth of Aprill , continuing from the eighteenth year untill the thirtieth , in which space of time are contained twelve years compleat , there hath been no end of the bloudy massacres and cruel slaughters of the Spaniards , perpetrated in the continent of Mexico and the parts adjoyning , which contained four or five large Kingdomes , that neither for compasse nor fertility gave place to Spain . All this region was more populous then either Toledo , Sevill , Valadolid , Augusta Caesarea , or Faventia ; nay I may affirm that there is not at this present , neither was there when those places were at the highest of their flourishing estate , so many people as in those parts , which take up the space of above a thousand and eight hundred miles . In these ten or twelve years , what with Men , Women , Youths , and Children , above four millions were by the Spaniards consumed part by fire , part by the sword in these destructive wars ; wars more unjust and more condemn'd both by the Law of God and men , then any invasion of the Turk against the Catholique Religion . Neither do we now reckon those that died under the intolerable yoke and burdens of their captivity . There is no language , no art or humane science , that can avail to recite the abominable crimes and bloudy actions committed by these enemies not only of Common-wealths , but of all humane societies ; neither can any diligence , or time of writing sufficiently aggravate the circumstances of these detestable deeds . Notwithstanding something I shall say of every one of them ; though I do seriously protest , that I connot rehearse one thing of a thousand in respect of all that were done . Of New Spain in particular . AMong other grand murthers of theirs , they committed one more notorious in the City Cholula , which did contain above thirty thousand families . All the potent men of that Region , with the Priests who brought along with them their chief Priest also , came to meet the Spaniards ; and that their reception and entertainment might be the more honourable , they agreed to entertain the Spaniards in the houses of the greatest Noble men ; but here the Spaniards consulted how to begin their massacres , or as they call'd them , chastisements of the people , that they might keep in awe every corner of the Countrey with the terror of their cruelties . For this was their common custome , that they no sooner had set sooting in any place , but they committed immediately some notorious violence upon the people , that the rest might stand in the greater fear of them . They sent therefore to the supreme Lord of the City , as also to all the other Lords and Governours , that they should give them a meeting , but they were no sooner come to parley , but they were all immediately laid hold on , leaving none to carry back these bad tidings to the rest ; first they demanded of them six thousand Indians , to carry the Luggage which they had with them , which when they were brought together they shut up in their houses . It was a sad spectacle to behold this poor people preparing themselves to carry those burthens . They came naked , covering only their secret parts , and at their shoulders hung a little Net wherein they kept their food ; and thus while they stooped under their burthens , they lay open to all the cuts and blowes of the Spanish weapons . Now being in this manner gathered together in a great and wide place , part of the Spaniards all in armes , stood at the door to keep the rest out , while others with Swords and Launces kill'd the innocent Lambs , so that not one escaped . After three or four daies were expired , some that had hid themselves among the dead bodies all over besmeered with bloud , came with all submission imploring mercy and compassion from them ; but they not at all regarding their tears , nor moved with their lamentations , immediately hew'd them to pieces . All the Lords and Noble men , were kept a while in chains , and afterward at the Commandement of the Spanish Captain , tied to stakes and burnt to death . But the King of the whole Countrey escaped , with about thirty or forty men , betaking himself to a Temple which was like a Castle , and in their language called Quu ; there defending himself a good part of the day ; but the Spaniards out of whose hand few of them , especially the souldiery escap'd , setting the Temple on fire , burnt them all that were within alive , who as they were dying , brake forth into these lamentations : O wicked men , how have we injured you , that you should thus torment us ? Away , away to Mexico , where our chief Lord Montenchuma will revenge our quarrel . This is also reported that while the Spaniards were busily acting this bloudy Tragedy , killing and destroying above six thousand innocent creatures , their chief Captain in sport sung these verses : One flame the Roman ' City now destroyes , And shrieks of people made a dismal noyse , While Nero sung , and moved with delight , From Tarpey Hill beheld the wofull sight . Another butchery was by them committed in the City of Tepeaca , which was a much larger City then the former . Here they put to the sword an infinite number of people , with many additions of cruelty . Departing from Cholula they came to Mexico , the King whereof Montenchuma sent the Peers and Nobles of this Realm with innumerable presents to meet them , who all the way testified by several sports and solemnities , the joy which they had for their arrivall ; When they approached neer the wal of the City , the Kings Brother came forth with many Noble men to meet him , who brought many gifts of Gold and Silver , to present them with . Coming to the entry of the City , there stood the King himself with all his attendants , who being carried in a golden Litter accompanied them to the Palace which was prepared for them . But that very day , as was told me by some that were there , they seised upon the King , little suspecting any such matter , setting a guard upon his person of above eighty Souldiers : after that they put him in chains . But here passing by many things which might be said ; I will relate one thing worthy observation . The Governor being call'd away to quell one of his Captains that had taken armes against him , and having left Montenchuma with a guard of above a hundred , it came into the mindes of the Spaniards to do something which might render them dreadful and terrible to the Indians ; which was a policy , as I said before , they did often use . In the mean while all the Nobility and commonalty of the City minded nothing else but to exhilarate the minde of their captive King with several varieties of sports and recreations . Among which there was none that they used more then dancings and revellings , which they performed all night long in the streets . These exercises they in their language call'd Mirotes , but the Islanders Areytos . To these recreations they bring together all their wealth and richest garments , and what ever they do esteem precious ; using them as the greatest testimonies of gladnesse . The Nobles also and Princes of the Royal bloud every one according to their degree , were busie in these sports in those places which were nearest the houses where the King was detained captive . Not far from the Palace there were above two thousand youths , being all the children of the Nobility , and indeed the flower of the Nobility which were in Mantenchuma's Kingdome . To these came the Captain of the Spaniards with a small party of Souldiers , sending other Troops to other parts of the City , as if they only came to be spectators . But the Captain had given command that at a certain hour they should fall upon them ; and he himself being about to lead the way , cry'd out , St. Iago , let us rush in upon them . The word being thus given , the Souldiees all fell on , and with their swords began to hack and hew those delicate bodies , spilling that generous and noble bloud with such an unheard of malice , that they left not one alive . And doing thus to others in other places , there fell a dismal fear and amazement upon the whole Countrey . Nor will these poor creatures doubtlesse ever forget as long as the world stands , to lament and bewail in their solemnities the sad calamity and ruine of the whole seminary of their Nobility , of which they were wont so much to boast . The Indians beholding this unheard of cruelty and injustice committed upon such a number of innocent souls , having with long patience endured the captivity of their King , who had charg'd them to be quiet , now ran all to their arms , and falling upon the Spaniards , wounded many , the rest narrowly escaping : at length the Spaniards putting a Dagger to the brest of the King Montencuma threatned to kill him unlesse he would look through the window and command his subjects to lay down their armes . But the Indians at that time contemning the commands of their King , chose them a Captain whom they made chief Commander of all their Forces . By this time the forementioned Governour was returned from subduing his enemy , bringing with him a greater number of Spaniards then he carryed away with him . Whereupon the Indians desisted from doing any thing more untill he was entred into the City . But then gathering together very great Forces , they fought so vigorously , that the Spaniards despairing of victory resolved to retreat in a tempestuous night and to leave the City . Which being known to the Indians , they cut off abundance of them upon the bridges of the Lakes : neitheir can any man deny but that they did it justly , for the reasons above rehearsed . Afterwards the Spaniards having recollected more forces , there followed that great contention in the City , wherein they committed so many several butcheries upon the Indians , by killing and burning both the Commonalty and the Nobility in a most barbarous manner . Having committed so many detestable slaughters upon the Indians in Mexico , and other places distant ten , fifteen and twenty miles from thence , this tyrannical plague proceeded to infest and depopulate the City of Panuco . There was a wonderful frequency of people in that Countrey , neither were the slaughters , that were there committed , lesse remarkable . In the like manner they laid waste the Provinces of Tatepeca , Ipilcingonium , and Columa , every one of which is of as large a compasse as the Kingdomes of Legiona and Castile . It is a very hard thing , if not altogether impossible , to recite all the murthers and cruelties there committed ; besides that , it would cloy the reader . Here we must observe , that they entred into these Kingdomes and territories , ( which for the abundance of people ought to have been the joy of all true Christians ) upon no pretence , but as they said to reduce them to slavery . For at their first entrance they commanded them to swear fealty and obedience to the King of Spain , & those that would not come in and submit themselves to the will of such unjust and cruel men , they proclaimed rebels , and and accus'd them of that crime to the King . The blindnesse of the chief Governours of the Indies not permitting them to discern , that no man can be called a Rebell who is not before a Subject . This cruel Tyrant leaning upon this pretence , sent two other Captains excelling himself in fury , and impiety to Guatimala the most fertile and most flourishing Kingdome both for men and fruit of any that were situated southward . They had also received commands to visit the Kingdomes of Naco , Honduras , and Guaimara looking toward the north , and being distant from Mexico above three hundred miles ; the one was sent by land , the other by sea , being both of them well furnished with men and ammunition for Horse and Foot . And this I dare affirm , that the enormities committed by these two Captains , and by him especially that was sent to Guatimala ( for the other dyed an evill death in good time ) are enough to fill a particular volume , so many were the slaughters , violences , injuries , butcheries , and beastly desolations which they perpetrated , as do not only amaze the present , but must of necessity strike a horror into future ages : for in this place their abominations and devastations were more fatal then in any place before . As for him that went by sea , he vex'd all the shore with his incursions and cruelties , to whom there came certain out of the Kingdome of Yucatan , which lies in the way to the Kingdomes of Naco , and Naymura , whither he was then marching , and brought him many presents , yet he was no sooner come into the Countrey , but he sent the souldiers to depopulate and waste the same , who ceased not to commit many abominable outrages . Among the rest , a certain seditious rebel entring into a region bordering upon Guatemala , burnt up their City , killing the Inhabitants , and laying waste all the Countrey , which he did on purpose , that if he should be pursued by his enemies , they might be liable to the revenge of the Indians as they passed along ; which happened accordingly , for there the chief Commander from whose power the foresaid Captain had rebell'd , was slain ; but he was succeeded by many other fell tyrants , who with their wonted cruelties and captivity destroyed the people , selling them to those that brought garments and other provision , and by that kinde of servitude , which they practised from the year 1524. to the year 1535. they depopulated and made desert the provinces of Naco and Honduras , which seemed to be the Elysium and Paradise of the world in every respect . And I have lately seen them so destroyed , that it would move the most stony heart to compassion . In these eleven years there prrished in this Countrey above two millions , scarce two thousand now remaining , who daily diminish through the hardnesse of their servitude . But as for that abominable tyrant that exceeded all that were before in tyranny , and is equall to all that remains behinde , let us now finde him out in Guatimala . He going through the Provinces adjoyning to Mexico toward Guatimala , which are above four hundred miles in length , minded nothing else all the way he went , but slaughters , rapines , burnings , depopulations , compelling all upon the foresaid pretence to submit themselves to their cruelties , in the name of the King of Spain , whom they had never seen nor heard of , and whom they could not but think more unjust and cruel then his Ministers and Officers , yet giving them no time to deliberate , they wasted all before them with fire and sword . Of the Kingdome and Province of Guatimala . AT their first entrance into this Kingdome they committed a very great outrage . But for all that their chief Lord and Governor carried in a Litter came forth to meet him with Drums and Trumpets , and great joy ; attended by many of the Nobles of the City of Vtlacan the greatest Mart Town of that Kingdome , where they gave him provisions in abundance , with all that he could desire . That night the Spaniards lodg'd without the City , not thinking themselves safe in a Town so well fortified as that was . The next day he called to him the chief Lord with a great number of the Nobles , demanding of them a very great quantity of Gold . They returning him answer , that they could not satisfie his request by reason that their Countrey afforded not Gold , were immediately by his command , without any cause or form of proceeding , all burnt alive . The rest of the Nobles of these Provinces , seeing that all the chiefest of them , who had the power and government of the Kingdome in their hands , were for no cause put to death , but because they were not able to give them gold , fled to the mountains for safety , charging their subjects to submit themselves to the Spaniards , but not to tell them where their sculking places were , nor to give them notice of their flight . Whereupon an infinite number of the Indians came to the Spaniards requesting that they might be their subjects , and that they might serve them . The Captain made answer , that he would not receive them , and that moreover he would kill them all unlesse they would declare whither their Lords were fled : the Indians replyed , That they knew nothing of it , but their Wives and Children they said were ready to serve them , adding , that they were at home in their houses , whither they might goe , and either kill them or use them as they pleas'd ; which offers they made to them again and again . But strange to tell , the Spaniards demanded their Cities and Towns , killing these poor creatures , who as they thought were secure at their work . They came to a very large Town , which being confident of their own innocence , thought themselves safer then the rest ; but in two hours space they brought such a desolation upon it , killing all ages and sexes , that there was not a person left alive , but what saved themselves by flight . The Indians perceiving that with all their humility , their patience , and their presents , that they were not able to asswage the fury of these inhumane creatures , and that they were daily killed up like dogs , began to think of taking armes ; for they thought it better , since an evill death could not be avoided , rather to die fighting and taking revenge upon their enemies , then to be killed like beasts by them . But when they saw their want of armes , their feeblenesse , their nakednesse , and that they were utterly unskilfull in the management of horses , that they might have some way of prevailing upon their enemies , it came in their minds to dig certain ditches in the waies , that so the horses as they went along might fall into them : at the bottome of these pits they had driven in stakes sharpned at the top , and they had covered them over with clods of earth that they might not be discovered ; twice or thrice the Spaniards fell into these ditches , but afterwards by their care they easily avoided them . And therefore they made a Law among themselves , that all the Indians which they took , of what ever sex or degree , should be thrown into those pits which they had made : Into these pits they threw women big with childe , and all the aged persons that they could light upon , till the pit was full . It was a sad sight to behold women with child goar'd through the body with these stakes ; while others that lay uppermost were killed with swords and launces ; those that would not in were cast to their dogs . They burnt a very potent Peer of the Nation in a great fire , saying that he was much honoured with that kinde of death . Among other abominations committed by this Captain and his followers , who were not at all more gentle then their leader , this was one more memorable then the rest . Into the Province of Cuzcatan , where the City of our Saviour is situated , being a Countrey , which together with the neighbouring sea coast is extended about forty or fifty miles in length ; and also into the City of Cuzcatan it self , which is the Metropolis of the whole Countrey , he was received with very great joy , the Indians expecting his coming , laden with a present of above thirty thousand Turkies and other things necessary for their refreshment . But he having received their gift , commanded the Spaniards every one of them to take as many Indians as they pleased , and to keep them for service as long as they should stay there . Whereupon every one took a hundred lesse or more , according as his occasions required . And as for the poor Captives they served them with so much zeal and affection , that they could require nothing more then adoration it self . After this the Captain required of the people a great quantity of Gold , who returned him answer , that they would give him all the Gold they had . Whereupon the Indians brought together a great company of spears which were guilt with Orichalcum , so that they seemed to be gold ; but the Captain causing them to be touched , and not finding them to be gold , spake thus to the people , All curses light upon such a Region as this , wherein there is no Gold ; and then commanded all those that had taken servants , to keep them in chains , and to mark them with the mark of servitude , which was immediately done , the Kings mark being burnt into their flesh ; which I saw also done to the son of the chiefest man in all the City . Those Indians that escaped with the rest of the inhabitants of the Countrey , gathered themselves together , resolving to hazard a war with the Spaniards , but alas with small prosperity , there being an infinite number of them slain . After this they returned to Guatimala , where they built a City , which God in his justice destroy'd , overwhelming it , first with earth , then with stones of a vast bignesse , and lastly , letting in upon it a great deluge of waters . Now after that they had slain all that were able to make resistance against them , they carried away the rest into captivity , or forced them to give away their children as tribute due to the Spaniards , for they use the service of no other creatures . And thus part being sold into the Countreys of Peru , and part destroyed by the sword , they made a wildernesse of one of the most happy and populous Countreys of those parts , stretching out in length and bredth above a hundred miles . This the tyrant himself confessed , writing that this County was more populous then the County of Mexico , as indeed it was . This man in the space of fifteen years , which was from the year 525. to 540. together with his associates , massacred no lesse then five millions of men , and do daily destroy those that are yet remaining . It was the custome of this Tyrant , when he made war upon any Town or Countrey , to carry along with him as many as he could of the subdued Indians , compelling them to make war upon their Countreymen , and when he had ten or twenty thousand men in his service , because he could not give them provision , he permitted them to eat the flesh of those Indians that they had taken in war : for which cause he had a kind of shambles in his Army for the ordering and dressing of mans flesh , suffering Children to be killed and broyled in his presence . The men they killed only for their hands and feet , for those they accounted dainties . Which being understood by the neighbours , they were all struck with astonishment . Of New Spain . As also of Panucon , and Xalisco . THese horrid murders and massacres being committed , besides others that I have omitted , in the Provinces of New Spain , there came another cruel and furious Tyrant into the Provinces of Panucon , who having perpetrated many hainous iniquities , and sent great numbers of the Natives to be sold in the Countreys of Spain , laid waste all this Kingdome : and once it hapned that they used eight hundred of the Indians in stead of a team to draw their carriages , as if they had been meer beasts and irrational creatures . He was afterwards made President of the City of Mexico , and with him many other his fellow tyrants advanced to the office of Auditors ; which Offices they contaminated with so many impieties and abominations , that it is hardly to be imagined . And as for this Countrey it self , they so far destroyed it , that if some of the Franciscan Friers had not strenuously opposed him , and that the Kings Councel had not provided a sudden remedy for it , in two years space they had wholly depopulated New Spain , as they had done in Hispaniola . One of the Associates of the President that he might enclose his Garden with a wall , used the service of eight thousand Indians , and because he afforded them neither food , nor wages , they all perished after a most sad and lamentable manner . After the first Captain , of whom we spake before , had put an end to the destruction of Panucon ; and that there came newes to him that the Kings Councell was coming into these parts , he went further into the Countrey , that he might exercise his cruelties with more liberty , and caused fifteen or twenty thousand of the Indians to follow and carry the burthens of the Spaniards , of whom scarce two hundred returned alive , the rest being all destroyed ; at length they came to the Province of Machuaca which is distant above forty miles from Mexico , and is nothing at all inferior to the other either for plenty of provision , or number of people ; the king coming to meet him with all shewes of respect and honour , they put in prison because he was reported to be very rich : which that they might get from him , they thus tormented him ; having put his feet in a kinde of stocks , and stretching out his body , they tyed his hands to a stake , and then putting fire to his feet , while a boy was set to baste them with oyle , that they might roast the better ; there stood another also with dogs behind him , threatning to set them upon him ; which if he had done , they would have soon put an end to his life : and with these torments they vexed him , to make him bring his treasures to light . At length there came a Franciscan Frier who freed him from his torments , but not from death , which immediately ensued . With this kinde of torture they put to death many other of the Princes and Noble men of the Countrey . About this time a certain man who came to visit their purses rather then their souls , knowing the Indians to be adorers of Idols , for the Spaniards had not taught them better , kept them captive till they had delivered all their Images , for they thought that they had been all of Gold , but when they found themselves deceived , he inflicted upon them punishments as if they had committed some great offence , and because he would not utterly lose their hopes , caused them to redeem their Idols with Gold , to adore them ; and thus did the Spaniards procure the worship of God among the Indians . This Tyrant out of the Province of Panucon , went to Methuaca and Xalisco , which were Countreys fruitful both in men and money , and no small glory of the Indian Nation , having Cities that were in length above seven miles . When he came into these Countreys , the Indians , as they were wont , met him with accustomed signes of joy and gladnesse ; but he immediately brake forth into his wonted cruelties , to attain his usual scope , which was the heaping up of Gold , the only God which they adore . The Cities they burnt to the ground ; Their Princes , having first tormented them , they carried away captive , binding them in chains . Women with childe , without any consideration of their weaknesse , they oppressed with tedious labours and hunger , that they dy'd by the way . And as for their Children , because they could not carry them , they were forc'd to throw them away , by which a number of Infants were destroyed . There being a certain Christian who went about to defile a virgin , her mother interposed her self , and would have taken the daughter from him ; the Spaniard drawing forth his dagger , cut off her hand , and afterwards slew the virgin , because she would not give consent to his lustful desire . Among other things also this was most unjust , that they caused to be marked with the mark of slavery above four thousand five hundred of the Indians that were all as free born as themselves ; among which they also caused to be thus marked children of two , three or four years old , though they were all such as came forth to meet him with great acclamations of joy ; other things without number I passe by in silence . All these above mentioned abominations being done , they reduced the rest to a tyrannicall subjection , for which cause they thought that they were only sent thither . In which regions the said Governour gave liberty to all the Spaniards , especially to his Stewards and Officers , to exercise what tortures they pleased upon the Indians to draw out of them the knowledge where their treasure lay . His Steward in times of peace kill'd many Indians , burning some , and casting other to his dogs , cutting off others hands , legs , and heads , that thereby their minds being totally subjected they should never deny where their Gold or treasure lay hid . All these things were done , the Tyrant himself beholding and consenting ; and not only so , but they oppressed them and continually abused them with stripes and blowes of their canes and fists , leaving no cruelty unexercised toward them . In this Kingdome of Xalisco they consumed by fire six thousand villages , upon which the Indians growing desperate , seeing the remainder of those that escaped daily destroyed ; they made an insurrection against the Spaniards , and killing some of them , as they well deserved , they betook themselves again to the Mountains . But the cruelties and injuries of the Tyrants that went from these parts to depopulate ( which they called discover ) other Regions overtaking them ; many Indians were by them slain , while they sought to defend themselves in the rocks : and to this present there are a thousand Butcheries committed upon them ; whereby there are hardly left any people in the whole Countrey . And thus the Spaniards being blinded and forsaken by God , and given over to a reprobate sense , considered not how unagreeable both to the Law of God and nature were their proceedings against the Indians , how unjustly they went about to destroy them by force of armes , and not only to cast them out of their Countrey , but to torture them and cut them in pieces : nor do they see how impious their violences and tyrannies are over these poor people ; they do believe and do affirme both in deed and word , that those victories which they have obtained and used to the destruction of the Indians , as if their unjust wars were of right , and are so impudent as to give God thanks for them : like those theeves of whom Zachary speaks in the eleventh Chapter , the third and fourth Verses . Feed the flock of the slaughter , whose possessors slay them and hold themselves not guilty , and they that sell them say , Blessed be the Lord , for I am rich . Of the Kingdome of Yucatan . IN the year 1526. a vile and impious man through his sawning and lying , was made Governour of the Kingdome of Yucatan ; which was the manner that other tyrants used for the obtaining of their preferments and offices ; for by their authority they had greater opportunities to do mischief . This Kingdome did abound with people both because of the temper of the air , and for the plenty of provision , in which it excelled the Countrey of Mexico . But those things for which it is chiefly famous are Hony and Wax , which it afforded to all the Countreys of India , which have been hitherto discovered . It is three hundred miles in compasse . This Nation either as to policy and good government , or as to their way of living and conversation , excelled all the rest ; and well deserved to have had more knowledge of the true God . There there might have been erected by the Spaniards many brave and large Cities where they might have liv'd as in a Paradise , had they not rendred themselves totally unworthy of any such benefits through their own enormities and impieties . This Tyrant with three hundred men made war upon these innocent Indians living peaceably in their houses , and offering injury to none , destroying many people . And because the Countrey hath no Gold , for if it had they had soon ended the lives of the inhabitants , by digging in the Mines , making a gain of those bodies and souls for which Christ died , therefore those that they left alive , they made slaves of , sending whole ships away fraighted with people , bartering them for Wine , Oyle , Vinegar , Pork , Horses , and other things which they stood in need of . Out of fifty or a hundred Virgins which he had chosen out , he exchanged the best of them for the smallest vessell of Wine , Oyle , Vinegar or Pork : and once it chanced that a youth who was the Son of a Prince , was exchanged for a Cheese , and a hundred persons for a horse . This was his imployment , from the year 26. to 33. till newes was brought of the Regions of Peru , whither the Spaniards going put an end to their villanies here for a small time . But after some daies were past over , they returned again to their former rapines and dishonouring of God by their wicked courses ; neither have they yet made an end , so that now three hundred miles of Land lie untill'd and void of inhabitants . The particulars of their cruelty are not to be remembred , only two or three that come into my minde I will relate . While the Spaniards were hunting after the Indians with their dogs , they met with an Indian Women , who being sick and seeing that she was not able to escape them , taking a rope hang'd her self , hanging also her childe of a year old about her waste by the feet ; but the dogs immediately fell upon the childe , only he was baptized by a religious person before he died . When the Spaniards departed out of the Kingdome invited the son of a certain Noble man , Governor either of a City or great Province , that he would go along with him , who answering that he was unwilling to leave his native Countrey , they threatned to cut off his ears unlesse he would go along with him ; notwithstanding all which , he persevered in his resolution ; whereupon they cut off his nose and the upper part of his lip , with as little remorse as if they had been paring their nailes . This Furcisur carried himself obscenly toward a deserving religious person , boasting to him , that he had got as many Indians as he could with childe , that they might yeeld the more profit in the sale of them . In this Kingdome , or else in some province of new Spain , it hapned that a Spaniard being a hunting , his dogs seemed to him to be a hungry , whereupon he took a little Infant out of the mothers armes , and cutting off the thighs and armes of the Childe , cast it to his dogs , and when they had devoured those , he cast the whole body to them . Thus we see how they were delivered over to a reprobate sense ; and what a value they put upon these creatures formed after the Image of God . But now worse things follow . Many cruelties , and indeed innumerable which were never before heard of , I doe omit , only I shall adde this one . These ambitious , blinde and execrable tyrants going out of this Region to seek more riches , there went with them four Monks of the Order of St. Francis together with Father Iames , to keep the Countrey in peace , and to bring the remainder of those that were left by their preaching to the knowledge of Christ . I do beleeve that these were they that in the year thirty four were solicited by the Indians to come into their Countrey , and to preach to them the knowledge of the true God . To which purpose they gathered assemblies and congregations together , that they might know what sort of people these were that call'd themselves Fathers , and Fryers , who differed so much from the rest of the Spaniards , that vex'd them with so much affliction and torment . At length they receiv'd them , but on condition that they would come alone and not let any other of the Spaniards enter in among them , which those religious persons promis'd , for they had not only a liberty , but a command from the Governour of New Spain , that they should so promise them , and that the Spaniards should do them no harm or injury . Upon which they began to preach the Gospel among them , and to declare to them the holy intention of the King of Spain , of which things they had not yet received any knowledge , nor that they had any other King then him who oppressed them with so much tyranny . The religious persons had not been there above forty daies , when they began to bring in all their Idols , and to commit them to the fire ; and afterwards they brought their children , whom they loved as dearly as the apples of their eyes , to the religious persons to be instructed . And thus being perswaded by these religious persons they did more then ever had been done in the Indies before ( for what ever the Tyrants that had oppressed them were wont to tell them they only spoke in contempt and derision on the Indians ) for above twelve or fifteen Kings of large Provinces , together with their subjects by their Councell and consent , all of them acknowledged the King of Castile to be their superiour Lord of their own accord , and received him for their Emperour , as he was King of Spain . In test●mony whereof I have a writing in my own custody signed by those persons . Thus not without the great joy of those devout persons , an entry was made , for the bringing of those inhabitants that were remaining in these Countreys to the knowledge of Christ ; but in the mean while by another way there entred in among them about eighteen Spanish Horsemen and twelve footmen , bringing with them great loads of Idols , which they had brought out of other Countreys . The Captain of the foresaid Spaniards called to him one of the Noble men of this Countrey , and commanded him to take these Idols and to distribute them among his people , and bring in exchange an Indian man or woman for every Idol , otherwise threatning to make war upon him ; the foresaid Lord out of fear took those Idols , giving every one of them to his subjects , commanding them to worship them , and also to send back in recompence to the Spaniards some of their people to serve them . The Indians terrifi'd delivered their children after a certain proportion , those that had two giving one , and those that had three delivering two ; and thus they ended this sacrilegious merchandize , and so the Cacique gave satisfaction to the Spaniards ; I dare not call them Christians . One of these sacrilegious Robbers , Iohn Garcia by name , being very sick and like to die had under his bed two burthens of these Idols , who when the Indian woman that looked to him was with him , commanded her that she should not deliver those Idols at a small rate , because they were of the best sort , and therefore that she should not sell them , but for an Indian man or woman in exchange , and as he was making this kinde of will he expired . And who can now question but that his soul is now tormented in the flames of Hell ▪ Consider by this what was the progresse of Religion ; and what examples of Christianity the Spaniards did shew , when they came into America , how they honour'd God themselves , or how much they car'd that the Indians should know the right worship of him ; Judge which is the greater crime , that of Ieroboam who made Israel to sin , causing two golden Calves to be set up , and to be worshipt by the people , or of the Spaniards , who caused the Indians to buy their Idols , and made merchandize of them . These are the deeds of the Spaniards , who most often , out of a desire of heaping up gold , did sell and do yet sell , did deny and do yet deny Christ their Redeemer . The Indians seeing that the Promises of the religious persons , that the Spaniards should not enter into their Countrey , were not performed , and that the Spaniards brought Idols out of other places to sell them into their Countrey , whereas the religious persons had made them to burn all theirs , that there might be but one worship of one God , came and spoke to them in this manner . Why have you told us so many untruths , promising so faithfully to us that the Spaniards should not come into our Countrey ? Why have you burnt our gods , when as they do bring and sell others among us ? are the gods of other Countreys better then our own ? The Friers , although they had little to say , yet they made a shift to pacifie their mindes , and immediately went to the Spaniards declaring to them the evill which they had done , humbly beseeching them to depart . Which the Spaniards not only utterly denyed , but also , which was more wicked and abominable : they perswaded the Indians that they were called by the Friers : which being believ'd , they took councell to kill the religious persons , who being admonished by certain other Indians , avoided that danger and fled . But after their departure , knowing the falshood and treachery of the Spaniards , they sent messengers fifty miles after them , craving pardon in the name of the Indians , and intreating them to return . The religious persons , as upright servants of God and zealous for the souls of those poor people , gave credit to the messengers and returned , and were entertained as if they had been Angels sent from heaven , and remained with the Indians for five moneths , receiving a thousand courtesies from them . But when the Spaniards would not depart from thence , although the Viceroy used all his endevours to recall them ; he declared them Traytors and guilty of high Treason ; and moreover , when the persevered in their tyranny and oppression , the religious persons seeing , that though revenge came late , that yet they would not go unpunished , and fearing lest that revenge might fall upon their own heads , and besides not being able to preach the Gospell in quiet , by reason of the incursions of the Spaniards , resolv'd to leave the Kingdome , which now remains destitute of all knowledge , the souls of these poor Indians remaining in their past miseries of ignorance and Heathenisme , all the streams of divine knowledge being taken from them , by these cursed Spaniards , as when water is taken from the young plants ; for at the time when they went away , the Indians were very covetous after the knowledge of our Religion . Of the Province of Sancta Martha . THE Province of St. Martha by reason of the Golden Mines & the fertility of the place wa● a brave Island ; wherefore from the year 1528. to 1542. many tyrants went thither by sea , with their incursions wasting and spoyling all the Island , after a strange manner destroying the inhabitants , and robbing them of all their Gold . And so the whole Countrey was wasted by them , especially all the coast and the places adjoyning , untill the year 1523. And because it was a fruitfull Countrey , there went thither at severall times severall Captains , succediug one another in cruelty , so that every one striv'd to out-vie his predecessor in the inventions of exquisite torments to afflict the poor people . And thus also in this place they confirm'd our foresaid Axiome . In the year 1529. there went thither a very great tyrant accompanied with many Troops , with an intention to exceed all the rest of his predecessors in cruelty , who took away abundance of treasure from the people in the space of seven years ; in which exile he dying without repentance , into his place other tyrants succeeded , where with their bloudy hands and impious points of their swords they destroy'd all the rest that their predecessors had spared . And such a desolation they brought upon many provinces by their accustomed waies of cruelty , and inflicted so many torments upon the Princes and people to force them to declare where their treasure lay , that from the year 1529. to this day they depopulated above four hundred mile of land , the number of people in these parts slain being not inferior to those who had been slain in other places . If I had decreed to reckon up the impieties , slaughters , cruelties , violences , rapines , murders , and iniquities , and other crimes committed by the Spaniards against God , the King , and these innocent Nations , I should make two large a volume : yet I shall do my endevour , if God grant me life . For the present I will rehearse a part of those things which the Bishops of these Provinces wrote to the King our Soveraign Lord . These were letters dated the 25. of May , in the year , 1541. In which these words are written . I tell your sacred Majesty , that there is no remedy to ease this afflicted Nation , but to deliver it out of the power of these step-fathers , and to give it into the power of a loving husband , which may use it with more gentlenesse as befits it , and that as soon as may be ; for if there be any delay , it must of necessity perish . And a little after he proceeds thus . By which it shall be apparent to your Majesty , how deservedly the Governors of these Provinces ought to be deprived of their dignity , that the Provinces may be eased ; which if it be not suddenly done , these provinces will never be eased . This also your Majesty may further take notice of , that they are not men that live here but Devils , that there are no servants of God or the King to be found , but traytors both to the Law and King . Now certainly there is nothing more destructive to the peace of the Nation , and that hinders more the conversion of those that live there in peace , then the cruel and hard usage which the Spaniards afflict those innocent people withall , which bred in them such a loathing of the Spanish name , that nothing is more odious and detestable . For the Indians call them Yaes , which in their language signifies Devils . And truly not without reason , for the actions of these people have been more like the actions of Devils , whereby it happens that the Indians seing such crimes committed by the Spaniards both of high and inferiour conditions , so void of pity and compassion , cannot chuse but think amisse both of God , the King , and 〈◊〉 of the Christians ; and to labour to 〈◊〉 them to the contrary , is a vain and fruitlesse labour , and whereby a greater advantage is given them to laugh at Christ and his Law . And as for the Indians that take armes to defend themselves they think it better to die once , then to fall into the hands of their enemies , and to be afflicted with many deaths . These things , most invincible Caesar , I have learnt by experience . He addes further , Your Majesty hath in these Countreys more friends and servants then you are aware of ; for there is no souldier of all those that serve in these parts , who does not publickly and openly professe , whether he rob , steal , kill or burn the subjects of your Majesty , for the obtaining of gold , but that he does it to do your Majesty service . Wherefore most invincible Caesar it would be requisite , that you should signifie by the severe correction of some , how displeased you were with such services , whereby they shew themselves so disobedient and refractory to God himself . Which words are taken from the writings of the said Bishop of St. Martha , out of which it is manifest , what strange things have been committed , and are daily committed by them . They call the Indians Warlike , that continually flie to the Mountains to avoid the cruelty of the Spaniards , and they call those the Indians and Inhabitants of the Countrey , whom they have subjected to the hardship of a perpetual slavery by the terror of their massacres : by which they have been depopulated and wasted , as appears out of the letters of the foresaid Bishop , who recites but a very few of those things that were committed . The Indians of these Regions us'd to break forth into these expressions , when they are forc'd naked through the craggie passages of the mountains , if at any time they chanced to faint with wearinesse ( for then they are constantly beaten with canes , sometimes their teeth knockt out with the hilts of their swords , to make them rise and proceed on in their journeys without any rest ) then were they wont I say to break forth into these expressions , Oh how envious art thou ▪ I faint , kill me , and put an end to my daies : this they sigh forth , scarcly able to draw out their words , the certain signs of an inward anguish and deep distresse ; but who can comprehend in words the hundredth part of these calamities and afflictions wherewith the Spaniards do torment the poor Indians ; God of his mercy bring them to the knowledge of those who are able to remedy and prevent them for the future . Of the Province of Carthagena . THis Province is distant from the Island of St. Martha toward the West 50. miles , and is situated upon the confines of the Kingdome of Cerusia , being stretched upon the sea coast to the Bay of Vraba a hundred miles in length , South ward it is also stretched to a very great length . These Provinces from the year 1498. to this present year were handled after a most cruel manner , and depopulated with several kindes of slaughters , as it happened in the Islands of St. Martha : but that I may come to a quick conclusion I shall cease to speak of every particular , that I may make hast to the rehearsal of those detestable crimes which they committed in other Countreys . Of the shore of Pearls , of Paria , and of the Island of the Trinity . FRom the shore of Paria , to the Bay of V●necuela , which takes up above two hundred miles in length , the Spaniards committed most wonderful depopulations ; for they gave themselves wholly to their wonted Robberies , enslaving also infinite numbers of men , on purpose to sell them for money , against all the faith and pledges which they had given them for their security ( for those were things which they never observed ) though they were entertained by these innocent creatures with all civility , and softered in their houses like their parents , or children , serving them in all things to the utmost of their power , and making them masters of all that was in their possession . It can hardly be said or expressed , with how many injuries and unjust actions they used to afflict the poor Indians in these Countreys from 1510. untill this present year . Two or three of their most hainous crimes I will rehearse , whereby the reader may judge of the wickedness of those which remain untold . Into the Island of the Trinity being larger and more fertile then Sicily , and stored with Inhabitants , according to their quality , more ingenuous & vertuous then any other Nation of the Indians , a certain Robber went in the year 1510. accompanyed with fifty or sixty other fellow theeves , who presently proclaim'd an edict that all the Indians should come into the Island to live with him . The Indians received them as their natural Countreymen , both Princes and subjects yeelding obedience to them with much chearfulnesse , bringing provision to them every day as much as would have sufficed to have served a far greater number ; for this is the custome of the Inhabitants of this new world , to afford all necessaries to the Spaniards in great abundance . A little while after the Spaniards built a great house for the Indians to dwel in , for they would not that all of them should have more then one house , where they might all dwell together , that they might with more convenience execute that which they had in their resolutions ; which they did accordingly : for when they had thatched it over , and raised it to the height of two men , they shut up abundance of them in the said house upon pretence to hasten the work ; but in truth , that those within might not be seen by those without ; then a part of them compass'd the house with their weapons that none might enter in or go forth ; after that others of them went in , and unsheathing their swords , they threatned death to the naked Indians if they stir'd , and then bound them . And if any of them went about to flye , they were in the place immediately cut in pieces ; some few that escaped , part wounded , and part whole , joyning themselves with those who stood without , being about two hundred in number , with bowes and arrowes retreated to another house , who being all at one end stoutly defending the entry of the house , the Spaniards set fire to the other end , and so they all there perished by fire . Hence they departed with their prisoners , all they could lay hold on , being about a hundred and eighty , to the Island of St. Iohn where the sold half , and from thence also to the Island of Hispaniola , where they fold the rest . Now when I taxed the Captain for his wickednesse , after he came to the Island of St. Iohn ? He gave me this answer , Pray sir be patient , for I was commanded by those that sent me , that those that I could not take by fair means , I should seize by force : yet the said Captain had related to me for certain , that in the Island of the Trinity he found them both fathers and mothers to him , which he spoke to his greater confusion and the aggravation of his crime . Infinite of other things they did , taking captive these poor people against all faith given . Let these actions be well considered , and whether the Indians so taken may be justly enslaved or no . Once the Fryers of the Order of St. Dominick consulted about sending some of their Order to this Island , to spread the light of the Gospel among the Indians , for the salvation of their souls ; Whereupon they sent a Licentiate , famous for his sanctity with a lay man , to accompany him , to visit the Countrey , converse with the Inhabitants , and to seek out fit places for the the building of Monasteries . The religious persons being arriv'd were received as Angels from heaven , ear being giv'n to their words with all attention , alacrity and affection , that they were able at that time , for they were ignorant of our language ; it happened afterwards when the religious persons were gone , that there came a band of Souldiers , who according to their wonted customes of fraud and impiety , carried away captive the Prince of the Province , who ( either because that name was given him by the Religious persons , or by the other Spaniards ) was call'd Alfonsus ; for they delight to be called by the names of the Christians , and therefore before they are informed of any thing else they desire to be baptized . By these souldiers was Alfonsus craftily seduced a shipboard under pretence that they would give him a Banquet ; with their Prince there went seventeen other persons , for they had a confidence that the Fryers would keep the Spaniards from doing them any injury , For otherwise the said King would not have trusted them so far ; but they were no sooner on shipboard , but the Spaniards hoysed up their sailes for Hispaniola , where they sold all the Indians for slaves ; Now all the Region being troubled for the losse of their King and Queen , flockt to the Religious persons , and had like to have slain them ; who perceiving the injustice of the Spaniards were very much troubled ; and I do beleeve , that they had rather have lost their lives , then that the Indians should have suffered such an injury to the hinderance of their salvation ; but the Indians were satisfied with the promises of the religious persons , who told them , that as soon as any ships came to the Island , they would take the first opportunity to go to Hispaniola and endevour to get their King and Queen set at liberty . Providence sent a ship thither to confirm the condemnation of those that govern'd , by which these religious persons sent to the religious persons of Hispaniola , but got no redress , for the Spaniards there were receivers of the prey . When the religious persons , who had promised to the Indians that their King should return within four moneths , saw that he did not come in eight moneths , they prepared themselves for death , and to give up their lives to Christ to whom they had offer'd them before their departure out of Hispaniola ; and so the innocent Indians reveng'd themselves upon the innocent Friers . For the Indians , believed that the religious persons were guilty of the said treachery , partly because that their promises concerning the return of their King in four moneths had prov'd so vain , partly because the Indians make no distinction between the religious persons and the theeving Spaniards . It hapned also that at another time , through the great tyranny and oppression of the evil Christians , that the Indians slew two religious persons of the order of St. Dominic , of which I was a very real witnesse , as being one of those who escaped the same fate by a great miracle , which I had resolved not to have mentioned , lest the horror of the fact should deter others . Wherefore to avoid prolixity , I shall say no more concerning these things , leaving them to be revealed at the day of judgement , when God shall pour his vengeance down upon these robbers and destroyers of mankinde . In these Provinces in the Bay of Coderat , there was a City , the Lord of which was called Higueroto , a name common either to the persons , or to the officers of the place . He was a person so milde and gentle , and all his subjects endued with such vertue using the Spaniards that arriv'd there with that civility , that they thought nothing too much for them , bestowing all things needfull either for sustenance or delight that their Countrey afforded . This Lord had saved many from death , who had escaped out of other Provinces , from the murthers and slaughters of the Spaniards , being a kind of a sanctuary for the sick and half famished persons that came into his Countrey , and when they were recovered sent them back again to the Island of pearls where the Spaniards liv'd , though he had an opportunity to have slain them , there being none to regard or misse them ; in brief , the Spaniards had all the houses of the inhabitants in common , and all the subjects of Higueroto they called their own subjects ; but a perfidious Spaniard took councel how he might destroy this Region which seem'd it self so safe and secure ; presently therefore he sayl'd thither , and invited a great number of men to come a shipboard , who giving credit to the Spaniards , came willingly to them ; but they were no sooner entred the ship , but the Spaniards hoysed sayl for the Island of St. Iohn where they sold them all . At the same time I arriv'd at this Island , where I saw this tyrant , and was told the relation of what he had done . He wholly destroyed the City it self , which the other Spaniards who were wont to harrace all the sea coast , were notwithstanding much troubled at , abominating actions so hainous committed against them who had been so courteous and liberal to them , and where they had been entertain'd as in their own houses . I will not recite the infinite wickednesses which have been committed by them , and are daily committed among them . These Spaniards departed from the sea coast to the Islands of Hispaniola and St. Iohn , carrying with them above two millions of men to the said Islands , which they afterwards destroyed through hard labour and continual bad usage ; those that before liv'd in this Island , being not reckned into their number , who were an infinite and unspeakable number , and it is a most sad thing to consider , and that which would move the most cruel hearts , to see all this fertile shore lie desert and depopulated . This is also a known thing , that they never do transport Indians from these places , but in their voyage they do pay the third ●art of them as a tribute to the waves , besides those that are murthered in their own houses . The cause of all these things are their own wicked purposes ; that is to say , by the sale of the Indians to heap up treasure , yet furnishing the ships not with half provisions for the sustenance of those that they transport , because they would not be at too much charges ; and sometimes there are hardly provisions enough to suffice the Spaniards themselves , so that the Indians ready to die for hunger and thirst , are immediately thrown into the sea . And it was related to me for certain , that a ship going from Hispaniola to the Island of Lucayos , sayl'd thither without any compasse , only by the Carkasses that floated up and down the sea . Afterwards when they are landed , where they are carried to be sold , there is no man that would not be mov'd with compassion , to see both old and young , men and women , naked and hungry , drop and faint as they goe along . Afterwards they divide them like sheep , separating sons from fathers , wives from their husbands ; and then making up a company of ten or twenty , those that set out the ships , and fitted them with necessaries , presently cast lots for their shares . And when the lot fell upon a company that had an old or a sick man , he to whom the lot fell , was wont to break forth into these expressions , Cursed be this old fellow , why do you give him me ? to bury him ? why do you give me this sick man ? to be his keeper ? And thus let us consider , in what estimation the Indians are among the Spaniards , and how the precept of Charity on which the Law and the Prophets depends is observed among them . There is nothing more detestable or more cruel , then the tyranny which the Spaniards use toward the Indians for the getting of pearl . Surely the infernall torments cannot much exceed the anguish that they indure , by reason of that way of cruelty ; for they put them under water some four or five ells deep , where they are forced without any liberty of respiration , to gather up the shels wherein the Pearls are ; sometimes they come up again with nets full of shels to take breath , but if they stay any while to rest themselves , immediately comes a hangman row'd in a little boat , who as soon as he hath well beaten them , drags them again to their labour . Their food is nothing but fish , and the very same that contains the Pearl , with a small portion of that bread which that Countrey affords ; in the first whereof there is little nourishment ; and as for the latter , it is made with great difficulty , besides that they have not enough of that neither for sustenance ; they lye upon the ground in fetters , lest they should run away ; and many times they are drown'd in this labour , and are never seen again till they swim upon the top of the waves : oftentimes they also are devoured by certain sea monsters , that are frequent in those seas . Consider whether this hard usage of the poor creatures be consistent with the precepts which God commands concerning charity to our neighbour , by those that cast them so undeservedly into the dangers of a cruel death , causing them to perish without any remorse or pity , or allowing them the benefit of the Sacraments , or the knowledge of Religion ; it being impossible for them to live any time under the water ; and this death is so much the more painful , by reason that by the coarctation of the brest , while the lungs strive to do their office , the vitall parts are so afflicted that they dye vomiting the bloud out of their mouthes . Their hair also , which is by nature black , is hereby chang'd and made of the same colour with that of the sea Wolves ; their bodies are also so besprinkled with the froth of the sea , that they appear rather like monsters then men . By this intolerable labour , or rather diabolical exercise , they have consumed all the Lucayans , for their particular gain ; out of every Indians labour gaining above fifty or a hundred Crowns . They sold them also against all justice ; only because Lucayans were most skilfull swimmers . There perished also many of the Inhabitants of other Provinces in this place . Of the River of Yuya Pari. THrough this Province runs the River of Yuya Pari which rises in other Countreys about two huudred miles distant . Into this River entred a perfidious Tyrant , wasting many miles of Land , committing many slaughters , consuming many by fire , and putting an infinite number of these poor Indians to the sword , that liv'd peaceably in their own houses without any suspicion of making disturbance . At length he dy'd an evill death , and all his forces came to ruine , though he were succeeded by many others , not inferiour to him in impiety , who daily destroy the souls of the poor Indians , for whom the bloud of Christ was spilt . Of the Kingdome of Venecuela . IN the yeare 1526. our Soveraigne Lord the King through the false perswasions of some evil Counsellours made over to certaine Dutch Merchants the Kingdome of Venecuela , being more large and long then Spain , giving to the Governour a full and plenary jurisdiction over the said People upon certain conditions . They entered this Region with about 30. men , where they found the people affable and courteous as they were in other Countries of India before they were killed up by the Spaniards . They by many degrees crueller then the rest of whom we have spoken shewed themselves more fierce and greedy then Tygers , Wolves or Lyons ; for having a jurisdiction over the Land , and therefore possessing it more freely , they bestirred themselves with greater fury and covetousnesse in the heaping up of Gold and Silver , then any of their Predecessors had done before them ; laying aside all feare of God , or of the King , and forgetting all humanity . These incarnate devils laid waste and spoiled above 400. miles of most fertile land , containing very great Provinces , fruitful Vallies forty miles in length ; and an infinite number of Villages abounding with Gold and Silver . So many , and so many several regions they so utterly depopulated , that they hardly left a Messenger of these sad tydings , but those which hiding themselves in the Caverns and Bowels of the Earth escaped the thirst of their enraged swords . With new and unusual sorts of torments they destroyed above four or five millions of people ; Neither do they yet put an end to their abominable crimes and enormities : Three or four of their mad actions I will rehearse , whereby the reader may judge of the rest . The chiefe Lord of the Province they took captive , putting him to several torments to squeeze his Gold from him ; but he escaping fled to the Mountaines , and thereupon his Subjects that lay hid among the Woods and Bushes began to raise a tumult ; The Spainards followed destroying abundance of the people ; and as for those who were taken alive , they were publickly sold for slaves . In many Provinces , and indeed in most Provinces where they came before the captivity of the chief Lord , they were still welcom'd by the Indians with Songs and Dances and great Presents of Gold ; though the thanks which they gave them was alwayes with the points of their swords , still recompensing them with Massacres . One day when they came forth to meet the Spaniards , the German Tyrant and Captaine caus'd an infinite number of them to be shut up in a house made up with straw , where he commanded that they should be all cut in pieces . Now by reason that there were beames in the house whither the Indians got up to avoid the fury of the German swords ; therefore ( O cruel beasts ) the Governour sent certaine men to set fire upon the house , and so burnt them alive : So that now the whole Region lay waste and desolate , the inhabitants being all fled to the Mountaines for safety . They came afterwards to another large Province neere to that of St. Martha , where they found the Indians in their houses and Cities very peaceably employed about their occasions , where they liv'd a good while at the charges of the inhabitants , the Indians serving them like men in whose power their lives and safeties were , induring beyond imagination their continual importunities and daily oppressions , which were almost intolerable . This being added , which I said before , that one Spainard consumes in one day as much as would suffice to serve an Indian family consisting commonly of ten persons for a whole month . At that time the Indians presented them with several great summes of Gold , doing many other kindnesses for them . At length when they were about to go away , as a recompence for all their courteous entertainment , they resolv'd to leave them after this manner . The German Tyrant gave command that all the Indians with their wives and children if possible , should be gathered together and shut up in one large place ; which done , they were also commanded to signifie to them , that whoever desired to be at liberty , must redeeme themselves with their wives and children at a certain Ransome , impos'd upon them at the discretion of the Governour ; & to hasten them the more and bring them to a greater necessity , he commanded that no sustenance should be given them , till they had pay'd the sum required . Hereupon many sent home for the price of their Redemption , that they might be at liberty to seek for Victuals : But they had not been long at home ere they were brought back again by the Robbers , and shut up in the same place , that being oppressed with hunger and thirst they might be forc'd to redeem themselves once more ; and thus were many of them three or four times faine to ransom themselves . And in this manner a Country abounding with Gold and people was totally destroy'd ; in which there was a Valley forty miles long , where they burnt a Village that contained above a thousand houses . This Governour went further , having a great desire to see the lower parts of Perue ; for which journey he provided an infinite number of Indians , lading them with chaines and heavy burthens ; and if any of them fainted by the way , because they would not stand to loosen the chaines , they cut off their hands and heads , casting the head one way , and the body another , and their burdens were divided and impos'd upon others . And now should I reckon the Provinces which he laid desert , the Cities which he burnt , for all their houses are of straw , besides the particular slaughters which they made , though I am confident of the truth thereof , yet should I scarcely be beleeved , by reason that so much cruelty could not be suppos'd in man . This course took other Tyrants that departed from Venequela and the Province of St. Martha , with a resolution to make a further discovery of the Divine Gold of Perue : But they found that glorious Country so desert , so depopulated , so wasted and destroyed , that they themselves though a crew of blood thirsty Tyrants , were amaz'd and wondred to behold such ruines and depopulations . These and many other things were prov'd before the fiscal of the Indian Council , and the several proofes are kept by the said Council ; though t is most certain that they never put to death any of those cursed Tyrants , as if all the devastations and murders by them committed had not been at all to be regarded . For hitherto the Ministers of Justice in India through their extraordinary and damned blindnesse , have never been very solicitous to inquire after the crimes and slaughters which those Tyrants have committed , or daily do commit . Onely they tell you slightly , that because such and such a one did ill and handled the Indians so cruelly , that therefore the Treasury of the King was much diminished ; and this is all they do toward the suppression of so many hainous actions . Neither are those , which are prov'd , verifi'd to any purpose , neither is there that credit given to them as indeed there should be ; for if they would but do their duty both to God and the King , they would soon finde the King to have been cheated by the German Tyrants of above three millions of Gold ; for the Region of Venecuela being about 400. miles in length , for the happinesse of the soile and the abundance of Gold is not inferiour to any of the rest : and thus in the space of seventeen years wherein these enemies of God and the King , have done nothing else but destroy'd and wasted these Countries , they have , as I said before , defrauded the King not of lesse then three millions of Gold . Neither is it to be hop'd that these losses can be repaired as long as the World stands , unlesse God by some miracle should raise from the dead so many people as have been slaine ; besides the blasphemies and curses wherewith they have been bold to provoke even God himselfe . But what recompence can be made for the destroying of so many soules , which through the cruelty and tyranny of so many blood-sucking Tyrants are now tormented in hell ? This also may be added by way of conclusion to the rest of their Crimes , that from the time that they first enterd this Region , which is now seventeen years agoe , they never ceas'd to send whole Ships laden with Indian Captives to the Islands of St. Martha , Hispaniola , Iamaica , and St. Iohn , having sold at the least a million of men ; neither do they yet forebeare in this yeare 1542. that abominable practice ; the Royal Council of the King taking no notice thereof : and that , which they cannot choose but see , they not onely dissemble , but suffer and uphold them that do it . And as for the rest of their Crimes and infinite devastations , which they spread all along this part of the Continent , for a matter of 400. miles in length , together with Venecuela which is under their jurisdiction , they shut their eyes , when they might have remedi'd them . The reason why they did captivate the Indians was onely this ; out of a perverse , obstinate and blinde desire of heaping up Gold and riches , which is common to all that have gone into America . For these quiet lambes , they drew them by violence out of their houses , carrying them , together with their wives and children into Captivity , afflicting them in those horrid manners as abovesaid , and burning them with the marke of Slaves . Of the Provinces of the Country of Florida . INto these Countries there went two several Tyrants at several times , from the year 1510. or eleven , that they might perpetrate the same abominable actions as the rest had done ; that by the blood and destruction of the people , they might obtaine Offices and dignities which they were no way worthy of . But at length they were taken away by an evil death , the houses also which they had built them ( this I witnesse of all the three ) at the cost of humane blood perish'd with them , the memory of them vanishing from the face of the Earth , as if they had never been . They left these Countries very much troubled and confused , having incurr'd no small infamy by reason of the Crimes which they committed , though they were not many : for God cut them off at the beginning , leaving the revenge of those evils , which I know , and have seen done in the Indies , to be poured forth upon this place . Of the fourth Tyrant that came well instructed lately in the yeare 1538. we have had no news these three yeares . This we are sure of , that at the beginning he carried himselfe very cruelly ; and if he be alive , most assuredly he hath destroy'd an infinite number of people ; for he among all those who have done most mischeife in ruining both Provinces and Kingdoms , is famous for his Savage fury ; wherefore I am apt to believe that God hath put the same end to his life , as to the others . Three or four years after these things happened which I have related , the other Tyrant that went along with him who there ended his dayes , departed out of that Country ; whose cruelties and rapines while the chiefe Captaine liv'd , and after his death were so many , as we since understood , that what we said before , may still stand for an Axiom , that the further they went , the more exorbitant was their fury and iniquity . But because it is so irksome to me to rehearse these Execrable and bloody acts not of men but of beasts , I will no longer dwell upon them , but go to those things which followed after . They found a numerous people , wise and well moralliz'd , over whom they exercis'd their wonted tyrannies , seeking to strike an awe and dread into them , with the anguish and the burdens wherewith they oppressed them . And if they fainted by the way , they would not take the pains to open the fetters , but came to the fainting person , and cut off his head or his hands , and so left them . Once entring into a certaine Village , they were with great joy and exultation received by the Spaniards , who gave them provision till they were satisfied , allowing them also six hundred Indians to carry their burdens , and to look to their horses . But the Spaniards being departed , a certain Captain , of Kin to the chiefe Tyrant , returned to spoile them that mistrusted nothing ; who there slew the King of the Province with his Lance , and committed many other cruelties . In another Village , whose Inhabitants seem'd to be more vigilant , by reason of the horrid iniquities which , as they heard , the Spaniards were wont to commit , they put all to the sword , young and old , little and great , Lord and subject , sparing none that came in their way . The chief Tyrant , with a nose and lips down to his beard , having call'd together a great number of Indians , reported to have been about two hundred , caused them all to have their members lopt off , leaving them in this sad and painful condition , the blood streaming forth , to be witness●s of the mercy of these persons baptiz'd in the Catholike Faith . Now let us judge of the love which such kinde of men beare toward Christianity , or after what manner they beleeve in God , whom they boast to be good and just , and whose Law is without blemish . Most pernicious have been the evils committed by these wicked men , the sons of perdition . At length this wretched Captaine dyed without any repentance ▪ neither can we doubt but that he now lies fetter'd in the shades of Hell , unlesse God of his infinite mercy and goodnesse , not according to his deserts , have taken compassion on him . Of the River of Plate , or the Silver River . ABout the yeares one thousand five hundred and two or three , some four or five Captaines undertook a journey to the River of Plate , which containes many Provinces and Countries , which flourish with people very rational , and of handsome dispositions . In general we can say that they did there commit many horrid mischiefes and execrable murders . But being at a very great distance from those Indians , of whom we have talked more at large , we can relate nothing singular or particular ; onely we doe not question , but they do employ themselves in the same works of darknesse as hath been hitherto practised in divers other places ; for they are Spaniards still , and many of them the very same who were present at the other Massacres , and having the same intention to become rich and potent , which they cannot obtaine but by the same courses as they formerly took , following the bloody footsteps of those who have already destroyed and slain so many Indians . After I had written what I have above mentioned , it hath been related to me for certaine , that they have depopulated and laid waste many Provinces and Kingdoms in those Regions , rendring themselves so much the more exquisite and devilish in their oppressions , slaughters , and massacres of those people , by how much they are at a farther and more convenient distance from Spaine ; and laying aside all thoughts of Justice , which indeed was never practis'd in those Regions of America , as doth sufficiently appeare by what we have above writtrn . Among all the Enormities which shall follow after , this one was read in the Councel . A certain Gouernour had given in charge to his souldiers , that into whatever Village they came that should deny them provision , that they should there put all the Inhabitants to the sword . Upon which Warrant the souldiers went , and because the Indians would not submit to them as to enemies , fearing rather to come into their sight , then that their Liberality or Store would be defective , they immediatly put to the sword above 5000. of them . A certain number of men also living in peace , offer'd their service to them ; they afterwards were by chance summon'd by the Governour , and because they came not so suddenly as his fury expected , he thereupon commanded that they should be delivered to those Indians that were their enemies . With tears and outcries they beseeched him that he would rather permit them to die by their hands , then deliver them up to the mercy of their foes ; and when they would not come out of the houses where they were , they were all torne lim-meale , crying out , and saying , We come in peace to serve you , and you now kill us , may our blood sprinkled upon these walls be a testimony of our unjust death , and of your cruelty . Certainly this was a deed not only to be bemoaned , but also to be bewaild and pity'd . Of the great Kingdomes , and large Provinces of Peru. IN the yeare 1531. a great Helluo and devourer of men went into the Kingdoms of Peru , upon the same pretences , and with the same intention as the rest ; and being one of those who had been present at the murders and slaughters committed in other places , in the year 1510. therefore he proceeded with a greater hardnesse of heart in his outrages and robberies ; and being a man of no faith or truth , he laid waste Cities and Villages , slaying all the Inhabitants ; and was the cause of all those mischiefes that followed afterward in those Kingdomes ; to undertake the Narration of which , and to represent them all to the Reader , is a thing impossible , until they shall perfectly and clearly appear at the day of judgement before all men . And for my selfe , I doe confesse , should I goe about to describe the deformity , the quality and circumstances of their actions , it would be a task too difficult for me . At his first enterance he wasted certain Villages , and plundred the Country of a great quantity of Gold : And one time coming into an Island adjoyning to these Regions , which was known by the name of Pagna , being a fertile Island and full of people : he was receiv'd by the Prince and the inhabitants thereof as if he had been an Angel sent from heaven . But after that six months were past , in which time the Spaniards had consum'd all their provision , they then brought forth the corn which they had reserv'd against times of barrennesse for themselves their wives and children , in places under the ground , offering it to them with tears in their eyes , desiring them to do what pleas'd them with it . But they ill rewarded them in the end , killing a very great number of them with their swords and lances , and those whom they took alive they carri'd away into Captivity , emptying and destroying the Country , with many other cruelties . From thence they went to the Island of Tumbala , which is situated in the Continent , where he kill'd all that fell into his power ; and because the people being astonished at their barbarism fled away from them , they accus'd them of Rebellion against the King of Spain . This Tyrant us'd also this kind of subtilty toward the Indians . He commanded those whom he took , and others which brought him presents , still to bring him more , till he saw that they were quite destitute ; telling them that he recev'd them now as Vassals and Subjects of the king of Spain ; flattering them also and telling them that he would neither take them , nor do them any other injury . As though it had been a thing lawful for him to rob & spoile them , and to terrifie them with such kinde of strange news before he had receiv'd them into the protection of the King of Spain ; or as if after he had so receiv'd them to protection , he had never done any injury or laid any oppression upon them . After this the King and Supreame Emperour of all these Regions , Acaliba by name , brought against the Spainards a great power of pittiful naked Creatures , and arm'd with most ridiculous weapons , not knowing the sharpnesse of the Spanish Swords and Lances , nor the strength of their Horses ; to the place where they lay approach'd the Spaniards , who certainly would rob the devils of Gold if they had it ; This King resolv'd to call the Spaniards to an account , for the slaughters of his people , the destruction of his Country , & the robberies which they committed upon his Treasures . But the Spaniards met him , kill'd an infinite number of his people , and seiz'd upon his person , which was carried in a kind of Litter . Now they come to Capitulations about his redemption ; He promises ten millions of Crowns , and numbers down fifteen ; they promis'd to release him , but never stood to their words , falsifying all the protestations which they made to the King ; telling him how that his Subjects were gathered together again by his command . To whom the King made answer , that there could not be a leafe of a tree moved without his will and authority ; but if they were now assembled anywhere together , it was not by his power ; who was now their captive , for they might take away his life if they pleas'd . Notwithstanding all which they consulted whether they should burn him alive or no , which sentence they afterwards passed ; but by the intreaty of some , that sentence was mitigated and he was commanded to be strangled . The King understanding that he was to dye , spake to them in these words ; Why do you kill me ? Did you not promise to set me at liberty , so I would give you Gold ? I gave it you , and more then you requir'd ; yet if it be your will that I must dye , send to your King of Spain : But ere he could utter more , the flames prevented him . Consider here the equity of this war , the Captivity of this Prince , the sentence of his condemnation , and the execution of that sentence , the conscience of the Spaniards , which nothing deterr'd them from consuming and taking away by violence the great Treasures of this great King and of his Nobles , how they all concur to aggravate their devillish iniquity . Concerning the foule and enormous cruelties wherewith they wholly extirpated the people of these Regions , I will here relate a few , seen by a Friar of the Order of St. Francis , and confirm'd and committed to writing under his own hand and seale , and disperc'd not onely in these Provinces , but in the Kingdome of Castile . A copy of which I can produce signed with his own hand , wherein these things following are contain'd . I Brother Mark of Cilicia , of the Order of St. Francis , cheif Governour of all the Brotherhood of that Order , in the Provinces of Peru , being one of the first religious persons that went into those parts , speak this for a certain truth , testifying those things which I have seen , and which properly concern the inhabitants of these Countries . First I am an eye-witnesse , and do affirme upon my knowledge that the inhabitants of Perue were a Nation very courteous , affable , and loving to the Spaniards ; and I have seen Presents of Gold , Silver , and precious Stones , given by those people to the Spaniards in great abundance , besides many other offices of service which they daily did for them . Neither did the Indians ever move war till they were forc'd to it by the contumelies and injuries of the Spaniards : But on the contrary , the Spaniards being received by them with all the shews of respect and freindship , were continually furnish't both with men and women for their service . I am also a witnesse , that upon no occasion given them by the Indians the Spaniards did enter their Country , and burnt to death their great Emperour call'd Ataliba , after they had receiv'd from him as a ransome from his captivity above two millions of Gold ; His whole Kingdome having submitted themselves to him without any resistance : With the same cruelty was Cochilimacha his Captain General put to death , who came with other Noble men of the Country to the Spaniards in peace . The same Fate also follow'd another potent Lord of the Province of Quitonia , whom they also burnt without any occasion given , or injury done them : As unjustly did they burne also Schapera , Prince of the Canaries : They also burnt the feet for Aloides the most potent Lord in all the Provinces of Quitonia , afflicting him with many other torments to make him confesse where the Gold of Ataliba lay , though as afterwards it appear'd , he knew nothing of it . They also kill'd Quitonius Cocopagauga , Governour of all the Provinces of Quitonia , who at the importunities of Sebastian Barnaclacanus Captain of the Governour came in peace to the Spaniards , because he could not give them the sum which they demanded ; thus they put to death divers other of the Noblemen of the Country ; and as I understand , it is the intention of the Spaniards not to leave one of the Lords and Noblemen of that place alive . I do also affirme that I have seen the Spaniards for no other cause , but to satisfie their own wills , dismember the Indians both men and women , cutting off their eares , noses , and hands , and that in so many places and regions , that it would be a tedious thing to relate them . I have also seen the Spaniards set their dogs upon the Indians to devour them ; and such a number of houses and villages burnt by them , that it would be over long to rehearse them : This is also a truth , that they would snatch young Infants out of their mothers bellies , and cast them as far as they could throw them ; besides many other cruelties which they committed , which did not a little amaze me , though they are too many to be numbred . I do also affirme that the Spaniards got together as many of the Indians as possibly they could croud into three houses , and there , upon no occasion given , burnt them to death . At that time it chanc'd that a certain Presbyter , by name Ocaena snatch'd an Infant out of the fire , which one of the Spaniards beholding , immediately took the child out of his hands , and threw it into the fire ; which Spaniard , the same day that he did this vile act , as he returned to his Quarters , fell down dead by the way , whom I perswaded the rest to leave unburied . I have also seen them send to the Noblemen and chief Rulers of the Indians to come to them , engaging to secure them , and to let them return in peace ; but when they came , they caused them to be immediately burnt . Two they burnt while I was present , one being the Lord of Andonia , the other of Tumbala ; neither could I by any perswasions prevail with them to take them out of the fire ; and this I speak in the presence of God , and according to my own conscience , that I never knew of any commotion or rebellion raised by the Indians of Peru against them , though it was apparent to all how they did torment and massacre them . Which had they done , considering how the Spaniards broke their faith and promises to them , how against all Law and Right they practis'd nothing else but their desolation and destruction , certainly they had done well , chusing rather noble a death , then to endure such tedious miseries . I doe also affirme out of the mouths of the Indians themselves , that greater quantities of Gold lie hid then are yet discovered , which because of the cruelties and injustice of the Spaniards , they are loath to reveale , nor will reveale , till the tyrannical hand of the Spaniards shall be taken off them , rather chusing to dye , as others have done . Whereby God is offended , and the Affaires of the King many times impeded : For he hath been defrauded of more then would serve to maintain Castile , the recovery of which cannot be performed without much difficulty and large expences . And thus far I have related the very words of this religious person , confirm'd by the Bishop of Mexico , before whom he justified all that is here written . Here we must consider these things to be such as this Religious person was an eye-witnesse of , having traveld long in those parts for the space of above nine or ten yeares , and had compassed above fifty or a hundred miles of that Country , when there were but few Spaniards that liv'd in those parts ; though afterwards to the noise of the Gold there flockt thither above five thousand , who scattered themselves through those large Provinces , that contain'd in length above five or 600 miles , which they totally laid waste , committing rather more and greater cruelties then they had done in any other Countries ; and to say truth , from that time until this present year , they destroy'd a thousand times more persons then he makes mention of , and with lesse feare , either of God , or of the King , and with lesse pity they massacred the greatest part of mankind of those that inhabited those Regions , killing above four millions of people . A few dayes after , with darts made of reeds , they shot at the most potent Queen , who was the Wife of Elinguus , in whose hands the whole Administration of the Government of these Kingdomes remain'd , which occasioned him to rebel against them , and to this day he holds out against them : At length they took his Queen , and contrary to all right and equity , they put her to death , though it was reported that she was great with child , for no other cause but that they might afflict her husband . But if I should goe to particularize the murders and slaughters committed in that Region , the Reader would finde them so horrid and so numerous , that in both respects they would far exceed what hath been said touching the other parts of India . Of the New Kingdome of GRANATA . IN the yeare 1539. many of these Tyrants departing from Venecuela , Santa Martha and Carthagena , met together to make a Conquest of Peru. And many others comming out of the same Regions , having a desire to make a further Progress , they found many pleasant Countries , about some 300. miles from Carthagena , & divers gallant Provinces , well stored with courteous and affable Inhabitants like to other places in India , abounding also in Gold and Precious Stones , which are called Emraulds ; which Provinces by a new name they called New Granata , because that the Tyrant that first came into these parts was borne in the Kingdome of Granata . And because those that robb'd and spoil'd these Countries , were cruel men , and perverse Stewards , famous butchers and spillers of humane blood , therefore are their diabolical actions so great and so many , that they farre surpassed those which were done before them in other Countries , of which , some of the most select ones I will rehearse . A certain Governour , because he that destroy'd those parts would not admit him to share with him in his gettings , made certain Inquisitions and proofes , which he got prov'd by many witnesses , by which are apparent the murders and homicides which the other committed ; in the committing whereof he perseveres unto this day ; There were read in the Councel , and stand these recorded . In the said Examinations the witnesses depose , that when all these Kingdomes were peaceful , the Indians serv'd the Spaniards , getting their living by painful labours in the tillage of the Earth , bringing them what quantity of Gold or Gems they had or could get , having also divided their houses and their habitations among them , of which they are not a little covetous , as being a means for them to obtain their Gold the more easily . But when all the Indians were labouring under their accustomed tyranny , the Chief Captain and Tyrant of the Spaniards took the King and Lord of the Country , and kept him a prisoner for the space of six or seven moneths , for no other reason then to squeez from him what Gold and precious Stones he could . The said King , whose name was Bogata , through fear promised him that he would give him a golden house , hoping by that meanes to be set at liberty ; and so he sent his Indians , who brought back great sums of Gold and Precious Stones . But because the King gave them not a golden house , therefore they told him that he must be put to death , because he did not stand to his word . Whereupon the Tyrant commanded that he should be brought before him ; and thus they presum'd to call to judgement one of the greatest Kings of the Land . Whereupon sentence was given that hee should be tormented , because he had not given the gold'n house . Whereupon they tortur'd him , dropping hot sope upon his belly ; then they fetterd his two feet to two posts or stakes , and bound his neck to another ; then two men holding his hands , they set fire to his feet , the Tyrant comming now and then to him , and threatning death to him , unlesse that he would tell them where his treasure lay ; But that could not be done , for with torments they soon ended his life . Which things , while they were doing , the displeasure of Heaven fell upon the City for their sakes , whereby it was immediately consum'd with fire . The other Captaines of the Spaniards , resolving to walk in their Leaders footsteps , because they knew no Art but that of dismembring the poor people , were not less guilty of the same crimes , with divers and most horrible torments afflicting both the Nobles and the Commonaly which submitted themselves unto them , though they would faine have bought their peace with great presents both of Gold and Precious Stones . They tormented them onely that they might obtaine from them the greater Sums of Gold and Silver ; and thus all the Noble Blood of that Country was spilt in a most barbarous and shameful manner . One time it happend that a certain number of the Indians , full of innocence and simplicity , came to proffer their service to the Spanish Captain ; But while they thought themselves safe under the protection of their own humility , a Captain at that instant came to the City where they serv'd their Masters , who , after he had sup'd , commanded all the Indians , who were sleeping and resting from the hardnesse of their labours , to be all put to the sword . Which slaughter he made with intention to make himselfe the more dreadful to all the Country . Once the Captain commanded all the Spaniards that they should bring forth as many of the Indian Lords or common people , as they had in their houses , into a publick place , and there kill them ; and thus they slew above four or five hundred men . This the witnesses affirme of a certain particular Tyrant , that he exercis'd very great cruelties , by cutting off the hands , noses , and feet both of men and women . Another time it happend that the chief Captain sent an Officer into the Province of Bogata , to enquire who had succeeded the Prince that was so cruelly murdered ; who riding many miles into the Country , took the Indians captive , cutting off the hands and ears of many of them , onely because they would not tell who was their Kings Successor ; others they threw to their dogs to be torn to pieces ; and thus they kill'd and destroy'd great numbers of the Indians in these parts . Upon a certain day , about the fourth watch of the night , they fell upon many Princes , Peers , and other men who thought themselves in safety ; for the Spaniards had made promise to them that they should not receive any injury ; upon which promise they came out of their lurking holes in the mountaines , returning without any fear or suspition to their houses ; all these this Tyrant took , and causing them to lay their hands upon the ground , with his own sword cut them off , telling them that he would chastise them for not declaring where their King was . Another time , because the Indians did not bring a chest of Gold to the Captain which he required , he therefore sent forces to make war upon them , in which war so many were slain , so many dismembred , that the number was hardly to be reckond ; besides others that they cast to their dogs , bred up and fed with humane flesh , who were immediately devoured by them . Another time the Inhabitants of another Province , seeing that they had murderd about four or five of their chief Princes and Rulers , fled in fear to a certain mountain for shelter against their inhumane enemies , where there were got together above foure or five thousand Indians , as hath been proved by witnesses : But the Captain , or Governour of the Spaniards , sent a notorious Tyrant with a company of Souldiers to reduce , as he said , those rebellious Indians , that had fled from their slaughters and cruelties ; and to chastise them for it , as if they had done an unlawful action ; or as if punishment had been due to the Indians , and not rather more deserved by themselves , to have bin us'd without all pity , who had shewd themselves so mercilesse to others . The Spaniards scale this Mountain by force , for the Indians were weak and unarmed , telling them that they desired peace if they would lay down their Armes ; whereupon they all immediately threw away their weapons , which when the chief Tyrant beheld , he sent to certain of the Spaniards to possesse themselves of the cheife places of strength in the Mountaine ; and then commanded them to fall upon the Indians . Whereupon they fall upon them as Wolves or Lyons fall upon a flock of sheep , till they were wearied with murdering ; but they had no sooner taken breath , but he commanded them again to renew their fury , and caus'd them to precipitate the rest which were remaining from the top of the Rock which was very high and steep . And the witnesses affirm that they have seen a cloud of Indians falling down from the Mountain , which were all bruis'd to peices . And to finish his cruel enterprise , he caus'd the Indians that had hid themselves among the thickets to be searched out and put to the sword , and then thrown down from the tops of the high mountaines . And not satiated with these cruelties , that their horrible abominations might be the more notorious , he gave command that all the Indians that were reserv'd alive should be kept by his particular souldiers as their slaves , a custome which they constantly observed ; as for the women , those excepted whom they thought most fit for their service , they were all thrust together into a house made of straw and there burnt to death , to the number of above four or five hundred . The same Tyrant came to the City of Cota where he took an infinite sight of people , and cast fifteen or sixteen of the Nobles and Lords of the Kingdom to his dogs , cutting of the hands of many of the Indians both men and women , which he hung upon a perch for the Indians to behold ; in this manner were seen hung together above seventy paire of hands . This is also to be added that they cut off the noses both of Infants and their Mothers . No man can rehearse the cruelties committed by this man , the enemy of God ; They are innumerable , neither heard of nor seen before , especially those committed in Guatimala , which were their chiefe masterpeices in this art of destruction which they have been so long practising . The witnesses do moreover adde this , that the cruelties and slaughters committed in the said new Kingdome of Granata by the said Captain and his accomplices the destroyers and Abaddons of mankinde , who are with him , and to whom he gives the power to exercise these strange abominations , are so many and so great , that if his Majesty do not stop the deluge of evils which they bring along with them ( for the slaughters of the Indians are made onely through the desire of their Gold , though it be all in their own hands already ) in a very short time the Kingdom will be ruin'd & laid desolate , and the land when all the Inhabitants are destroy'd must of necessity lie untill'd . In this place we must noe passe by a most pernicious cruelty of these Tyrants which was so violent , that in the space of two or three years ( for no longer time there was between the desolation and the discovery of this Kingdom which was the most populous Country in the whole World ) they totally ruin'd and depopulated the whole Country , shewing themselves so void of compassion , so empty of grace , so regardlesse of the Kings honour , that they had not left a person living , had not his Majesty a little stopt the current of their cruelty : which I the more easily believe , because I have seen my selfe in a few dayes several great Kingdomes and Countries destroy'd and desolate . There are some large Provinces adjoyning to the Kingdom of new Granata which are call'd Popagan and Cali , and three or four others which stretch themselves in length above 500. miles , which they destroy'd in the same manner as they did the other , and by their foresaid Massacres brought down to the lowest degree of desolation , and this some who return'd out of these Countries & came to us relate ; But if there were ever any thing to be bewailed by man , they were the stories which they told of large Cities ruin'd and buried in their own ashes ; scarce fifty houses remaining where before there were above a thousand , or two thousand ; and the sad narrations which they brought , of large Countries and Regions that lay desolate and spoil'd of their inhabitants . At length there went out of the Kingdomes of Perne through the Country of Quitonia into the Regions of Granata and Popaganum , many very cruel Tyrants , who march'd through the Carthagenians , and Vrabia , to reach Calisium , while others stay'd to assaile Quitonium it selfe . But these at length joyn'd together , depopulating above sixe hundred miles in length , with an infinite waste of men , to the remainder whereof they are at present no lesse cruel . And thus what I set down as a rule , still holds good , that the violence and cruelty of the Spaniards , by continuance still waxed more and more furious and bloody . But among all these Crimes , which are onely worthy of fire and sword , that have been perpetrated in these Countries , this which followes is worthy the taking notice of . When the heate of Massacring and killing is over , they carry captive away sometimes two hundred , sometimes three hundred men apeice ; and when their master pleases , he commands a hundred at a time to be brought before him , to whom when they come like meek and patient lambs , he commands thirty or forty of them to be put to death ; telling the rest that thus they shall all be us'd unlesse they prove diligent in his service . Consider I beseech you , all that read , or shall read these few papers , whether an act so horrible , so detestable , so inhumane , do not exceed all the iniquities and cruelties that the imagination of man can comprehend ; and whether such Spaniards may not be deservedly called Devils ; or whether it be not a thing almost indifferent whether the Indians should be in the hands of Spaniards , or of the Infernal spirits . Neither will I forget to relate one barbarou's action , which as I think doth exceed the cruelty of beasts . The Spaniards which are among the Indians do breed up a sort of fierce dogs , which they teach and instruct to fall upon the Indians and devour them . Now let all men , judge whether Christians or Turks , in this it much imports not , whether so much cruelty ever peirc'd their eares before . These dogs they take along with them in all their expeditions , carrying also divers Indians in chaines for the sustenance of those dogs . And it was a common thing for them to say one to another ; Give me a quarter of your Indian for my dogs , and too morrow when I bill one I will pay it you again ; As if they were no more to be accounted of then the offals of a hog or sheep . Others were wont to go a hunting in the morning , and being ask'd how they had sped : Oh very well reply'd the other , my dogs have kill'd fifteen or sixteen Indians this morning ; These have been all proved in the impeachments made by one Tyrant against another . Could there be any thing more horrible or more cruel ? But I will here stay , until there shall come news of greater impieties ( if greater there can be ) or till we shall return to behold these things which for the space of above forty years we have already seen . And now I do protest according to my conscience and in the sight of God , that the losses of the Indians were so great , and so many their subverted Cities , the cruelties and massacres so horrible , the violences and iniquities so in human , that though I have done my utmost to relate what I could , and to paint them in their own lively colours , yet have I not been able to rehearse one thing done among a thousand , either as to the quantity or the quality of the Crimes . And now that all true Christians may be mov'd with the greater compassion towards the poor creatures , that their losses may appeare the more deplorable , that they may with a greater indignation detest the ambition , cruelty , and covetousness , of the Spaniards , to those which I have abovesaid , I will also adde this for a truth , that , from the time America was first discovered unto this present , the Indians never were the men that ever shewed the least disaffection , or offer'd the least injury to the Spaniards , but rather ador'd them as Angels of immortality come to visit them from Heaven , till their owne actions betrayd them to a far worse censure . This I will also adde , that from the beginning to this day , the Spaniards were never any more mindful to spread the Gospel among them , then as if they had been dogs ; but on the contrary forbid religious persons to exercise their dutie , deterring them by many afflictions and persecutions from preaching and teaching among them , for that they thought would have hindered them in getting their Gold , and kept the people from their labours . Neither had they any more knowledge of the God of Heaven , as to say whether he were of wood , brasse , or iron , then they had above a hundred years before . New Spaine being onely excepted , whither the Religious persons had most liberty to go : So that they all dy'd without Faith or Sacraments , to the willing destruction of their souls . I Frier Bartholmew Casaus , of the Order of St. Dominic , who went to these parts through the mercy of God , desiring the salvation of the Indians , that so many precious soules redeemd with the blood of Christ might not perish , but wishing with my whole heart , that they might through the knowledge of their Creator live eternally : Because of the care also and compassion which I beare to my Country , which is Castile , fearing lest God should destroy it in his anger for the sins which it hath committed against his divine Majesty , the faith and the honour of divers great persons in the Court of Spaine , zealously religious , and who abominate these bloody and detestable actions , after many hinderances of businesse , did at length put an end to this brief Tractate at Valentia the eighth day of December 154● . when the Spaniards ( though they were in some places more cruel , in some places lesse , after the end of all their torments , violences , tyrannies , desolations and oppressions , were at length come to Mexico , which enjoyes a gentler usage then other parts ; for there is an outside of Justice , which doth something restrain their cruelty , though not at all the immoderate tributes which they lay upon them . And now I have a real hope , that Charles the Fifth our Soveraign Lord and Prince , Emperor & King of Spaine , ( to whose eares the wickednesses and impieties of these tyrants do daily come , which are committed against the will of God in these Countries , for they have hitherto conceal'd these things from him ) not lesse subtilly then maliciously , will extirpate the causes of so many evils , and apply fitting remedies to the calamities of this New World delivered by God to him as to a Lover of Justice and Mercy . Which God we doe beseech to grant him happinesse in his life and in his Imperial dignity , and to bless his Royal soule with eternal happiness . Amen . FINIS . The Historical Relation of the Spanish Massacres in the West Indies . 
A54774	----	The religion of the hypocritical presbyterians, in meeter Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1661 Approx. 45 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54774 Wing P2097 ESTC R36676 15869350 ocm 15869350 104655 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54774) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 104655) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1154:18) The religion of the hypocritical presbyterians, in meeter Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 22 p. [s.n.], London printed : 1661. "An attack on Oliver Cromwell and puritanism by John Phillips, nephew of Milton, originally published in 1655, and later published with title A satyre against hypocrites"--NUC pre-1956 imprints. Caption title: The religion of the hypocritical Presbyterian. Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Cromwell, Oliver, 1599-1658. Presbyterians -- Anecdotes. Puritans -- Anecdotes. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE RELIGION OF THE HYPOCRITICAL PRESBYTERIANS in Meeter . Juvenal . Sat. 1. Si natura negat , facit indignatio versum . Juvenal . Sat. 14. — Velocius & citius nos — Corrumpunt vitiorum exempla domestica , magnis Cum subeant animos autoribus . London Printed in the Year 1661. The Religion of the Hypocritical Presbyterians . TEdious have been our Fasts , and long our Prayers ; To keep the Sabbath such have been our cares , That Cisly durst not milk the gentle Mulls , To the great damage of my Lord Mayors Fooles , Which made the greazie Catch poles swear and curse The Holy-day for want o'th'second course ; And men have lost their body's new adorning Because their cloathes could not come home that morning . The sins of Parlament have long been bawl'd at , The vices of the City have been yawl'd at , Yet no amendment ; Certainly , thought I , This is a Paradox beyond all cry . Why if you ask the people , very proudly They answer straight , That they are very godly . Nor could we lawfully suspect the Priest , Alas , for he cry'd out , I bring you Christ : And trul ' he spoke with so much confidence , That at that time it seem'd a good pretence : Then where 's the fault ? thought I : Well , I must know , So putting on clean cuffs , to Church I go . Now 'gan the Bells to jangle in the Steeple , And in a row to Church went all the People . First came poor Matrons stuck with Lice like Cloves , Devoutly come to worship their white loaves ; And may be smelt above a German mile , Well , let them go to fume the Middle-Ile . But here 's the sight that doth men good to see 't , Grave Burghers , with their Posies , sweet , sweet , sweet , With their fat Wives . Then comes old Robin too , Who although write or read he neither do , Yet hath his Testament chain'd to his wast , And his blind zeal feels out the proofs as fast , And makes as greasie Dogs-ears as the best . A new-shav'd Cobler follows him , as it hapt , With his young Cake-bread in his cloak close wrapt ; Then panting comes his Wife from t'other end O' th' Town , to hear Our Father and see a friend ; Then came the shops young fore-man , 't is presum'd , With hair rose-water'd , and his gloves perfum'd , With his blew shoo-strings too , and besides that , A riband with a sentence in his hat : The Virgins too , the fair one , and the Gypsie , Spectatum veniunt , venient spectentur ut ipsae . And now the silk'n Dames throng in , good store , And casting up their noses , to th' pew dore They come , croud in , for though the pew be full They must and will have room , I , that they wull ; Streight that she sits not uppermost distast One takes ; 'T is fine that I must be displac't By you , she cries then , Good Mistris Gill Flurt ; Gill Flurt , enrag'd cries t'other , Why ye dirt - tie piece of Impudence , ye ill-bred Thief , I scorn your terms , good Mistris Thimble-mans wife . Marry come up , cries t'other , pray forbear , Surely your Husband 's but a Scavenger , Cries t'other then , and what are you I pray ? No Aldermans wife for all you are so gay . Is it not you that to all Christenings frisk it ? And to save bread , most shamefully steal the bisket , At which the other mad beyond all law , Unsheaths her talons , and prepares to claw . And sure some gorgets had been torn that day , But that the Readers voice did part the fray . Now what a wardrobe could I put to view , The cloak-bag-breeches , and the sleek-stone shoe , The Gallimafry cloak that looks like nonsence , Now wide , now narrow , like his Master's conscience : The grogram-gown of such antiquity , That Speed could never find its pedigree ; Fit to be doted on by Antiquary's , Who hence may descant in their old Glossary's , What kinde of fardingale fair Helen wore , How wings in fashion came , because wings bore The Swan-transformed Leda to Iove's lap , Our Matrons hoping thence the same good hap ; The pent-house bever , and calves-chaudron ruff , But of this frantick fashion now enough , For now there shall no more of them be said , Lest this my ware-house spoil the French-men's trade , And now as if I were that woollen-spinster , That doth so gravely show you Sarum Minster , I le lead you round the Church from pew to pew , And shew you what doth most deserve your view , There stood the Font , in times of Christianity , But now 't is tak'n down , men call it Vanity ; There the Church-Wardens sit , hard by the dore , But know ye why they sit among the Poor ? Because they love um well for love o' th' box , Their money buys good beef , good wine , good smocks . There sits the Clerk , and there the reverend Reader , And there 's the Pulpit for the good flock-Feeder , Who in three lamentable dolefull dity's Unto their marriage-fees sing Nunc dimittis . Here sits a learned Justice , truly so Some people say , and some again say no , And yet methinks in this he seemeth wise To make Stypone yeild him an excise , And though on Sundayes Ale-houses must down , Yet wisely all the week lets them alone , For well his Worship knows that Ale-house sins Maintain himself in gloves , his wife in pins . There sits the Mayor as fat as any Bacon With eating Custard , Beef , and rumps of Capon ; And there his corpulent Brethren sit by , With faces representing gravity , Who having money , though they have no wit , They wear gold-chains , and here in green pews sit . There sit True-blew the honest Parish-masters . With Sattin Caps , and Ruffs , and Demi-casters , And faith that 's all ; for they have no rich fansies , No Poets are , nor Authors of Romances . There sits a Lady fine , painted by Art , And there sits curious Mistris Fiddle-cum-fart : There sits a Chamber-maid upon a Hassock , Whom th' Chaplain oft instructs without his Cassock : One more accustom'd unto Curtain-sins , Than to her thimble , or to handle pins . O what a glosse her forehead smooth adorns ! Excelling Phoebe with her silver horns . It tempts a man at first , yet strange to utter , When one comes near , fogh gudds , it stinks of butter . Another tripping comes to her Mistris's Pew , Where being arriv'd , she tryes if she can view Her young mans face , and straight heaves up her coats , That her sweet-heart may see her true-love knots . But having sate up late the night before To let the young man in at the back-dore , She feeleth drowzinesse upon her creeping , Turns down one proof , and then she falls a sleeping . Then fell her head one way , her book another , And surely she did dream by what we gather ; For long she had not slept , when a rude flea Upon her groyn sharply began to prey ; Straight she ( twixt sleep and waking ) in great ire , As if sh 'ad sitting been by th' Kitchin fire , Pulls up her coats with both hands , smock and all , And with both hands to scratch and scrub doth fall . Truly the Priest , though some did , saw her not , For he was praying , and his eyes were shut . Alas had he seen as much as a by-stander , Much more from 's Text it would have made him wander . That 's call'd the Gallery , which ( as you may see ) Was trimm'd and guilt in the year Fifty three . T was a zealous work , & done by two Church-wardens , Who for mis-reckoning hope to have their pardons , There Will writes short-hand with a pen of brass , Oh how he 's wonder'd at by many an asse That see him shake so fast his warty fist , As if he 'd write the Sermon 'fore the Priest Has spoke it ; Then , O that I could ( saies one ) Do but as this man does , I 'de give a crown ▪ Up goes another hand , up goe his eyes , And he , Gifts , Industry , and talents cries . Thus are they plac'd at length : a tedious work , And now a bellowing noise went round the Kirk , From the low Font , up to the Golden Creed . ( O happy they who now no eares do need ▪ ) While these cought up their morning flegm , and those Do trumpet forth the snivel of their nose ; Straight then the Clerk began with potsheard voice To grope a tune , singing with wofull noise , Like a crackt Sans-bell jarring in the Steeple , Tom Sternholds wretched Prick song to the people : Who soon as he hath plac'd the first line through , Up steps Chuck-farthing then , and he reads too : This is the womans boy that sits i' th' Porch Till th' Sexton comes , and brings her stool to Church , Then out the people yaule an hundred parts , Some roar , some whine , some creak like wheels of Carts , Such Notes that Gamut never yet did know , Nor numerous keys of Harpsicalls in a row Their Heights and Depths could ever comprehend , Now below double Ar● some descend , 'Bove Ela squealing now ten notes some flie ; Straight then as if they knew they were to high , With head-long haste down staires again they tumble ; Discords and Concords O how thick they jumble ! Like untam'd horses tearing with their throats One wretched stave into an hundred notes . Some lazie-throated fellowes thus did baule They a i hin a moy a meat uh ga have a ha me uh a ha gall a. And some out-run their words and thus they say , Too cruel for to think a hum a haw , Now what a whetstone was it to devotion To see the pace , the looks , and every motion O' th Sunday Levite when up stairs he march't , And first beheld his little band stiff starcht , Two caps he had , and turns up that within , You 'd think he wore a black pot tipt with tin , His cuffs asham'd peept only out at 's wrist , For they saw whiter gloves upon his fist , Out comes his kerchief then , which he unfolds As gravely as his Text , and fast he holds In 's wrath-denouncing hand ; then mark when he pray'd How he rear'd his reverend whites , and softly said A long most Murcifull , or O Al — Then out he whines the rest like a sad ditty , In a most dolefull recitative style , His buttocks keeping Crotchet time the while ; And as he slubbers ore his tedious story Makes it his chiefest aim his chiefest glory , T' excell the City Dames in speaking fine , O for the drippings of an old Sir loyn , Instead of Aron's oyntment for his face , When he cries out for greace instead of grace ▪ Up stept another then , how fowre his face is ! How grim he lookt , for he was one o th' Classis , And here he cries , Blood , blood , blood , destroy , O Lord ! The Covenant-breaker , with a two edg'd sword . Now comes another , of another strain , And he of Law and Bondage doth complain : Then shewing his broad teeth , and grinning wide , Aloud , Free grace , free grace , free grace , he cry'd . Up went a Chaplain then , fixing his eye Devoutly on his Patron 's gallery , Who as duty binds him , cause he eats their pyes , God blesse my good Lord and my Lady , cryes , And 's hopefull Issue . Then with count'nance sad , Up steps a man stark revelation mad , And he , Cause us thy Saints , for thy dear sake , That we a bustle in the world may make , Thy enemies now rage , and by and by He tears his throat for the fift Monarchy . Another mounts his chin , East , West , North , South , Gaping to catch a blessing in his mouth , And saying , Lord ! we dare not ope our eyes Before thee , winks for fear of telling lies . Mean while the vulgar frie sit still , admiring Their pious sentences , as all inspiring ; At every period they sigh and grone , Though he speak sometimes sense , and sometimes none : Their zeal doth never let them mind that matter , It is enough to hear the Magpy chatter ; They croud , they thrust , are crouded , and are thrusted , Their pews seem pasties , wherein they incrusted , Together bake and fry ; O patience great ! Yet they endure , though almost drown'd in sweat , Whose steaming vapours prove most singular To stew hard doctrines in , and to prepare Them , lest they should breed some ugly disease Being tak'n raw in queasie consciences . But further mark their great humility , Their tender love and mutual charity , The short man's shoulder bore the tall man's elbow , Nor he so much as call'd him Scurvy fellow , Wrath was forgot , all anger was forborn , Although his neighbour trod upon his corn ; And in a word , all men were meek and humble , Nor dar'd the Sexton , though unfeed , to grumble ▪ He honest man went with his neck a skew , Gingling his bunch of keys from pew to pew ; Good man to 's Market-day he bore no spleen , But wish'd the seven dayes had Sabbaths been ; How he worships sattin , with what a Gospel-fear He admires the man that doth a bever wear , Room , room , bear leave , he cries , then not unwilling With a Pater noster face receives the shilling . But what was more religious then to see The women in their strains of piety , Who like the Seraphins in various hews Adorn'd the Chancell and the highest pews . But now good middle-Ile-folks all give room , See where the Mothers and the Daughters come ! Behind the Servants looking all like Martyrs , With Bibles in plush jerkins and blew garters , The silver inkhorn and the writing book , In which I wish no friend of mine to look . Now must we not forget the Children too , Who with their fore-tops gay stand up i th pew , Alas-a-day ! for there is great contention , To tie this lock who hath the best invention . Well , be good children , for the time shall come , When on the Pulpit-stairs ye shall have room , There to be asked many a Question deep , By th' Parson , with his dinner , half a sleep . But now aloft the preacher 'gan to thunder , When the poor women they sit trembling under , And if he name Gehenna or the Dragon , Their faith , alas ! was little then to brag on ; Or if he did relate , how little wit The foolish Virgins had , then do they fit Weeping with watry-eyes , and making vows One to have Preachers alwaies in her house , To dine them well , and breakfast um with gelly's And caudles hot to warm their wambling belly 's , And if the cash where she could not unlock it Were close secur'd , to pick her Husbands pocket : Another something a more thrifty sinner To invite the Parson twice a week to dinner ; The other vowes a purple Pulpit-cloth With an embroyder'd Cushion , being loth When the fierce Priest his Doctrine hard unbuckles , That in the passion he should hurt his knuckles : Nay , in the Church-yard too was no small throng , And on the window-barres in swarms they hung : Nay , I could see that many Short-hand wrote , Where listning well , I could not hear a jote ; Friend , this is strange , quoth I , but he reply'd , Alas ! your ears are yet unsanctify'd . But Sermon 's done , and evening now approaches , The people walk , for none dare go in coaches ; And as they go , God , Grace , and Ordinances , Is all their chat , seem in heav'nly trances ; Thus they trim up their souls with holy words , Shaving off sin as men shave off their beards , To grow the faster ; sins , they cry , are fancies , The Godly live above all Ordinances . Now they 're at home , and have their suppers eat , When Thomas , cries the Master , come repeat ; And if the windows gaze upon the street , To sing a Psalm they hold it very meet . But would you know what a preposterous zeal They sing their Hymnes withall ? then listen well , The Boy begins , Hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , Hum , hum , hum , hum , Thomas hum , hum , Did you enter down the ten yards of water'd-tabby to the Lady in Covent-garden ? Hum , hum , Yes Sir , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum , hum . — Pray remember to receive the hundred pound in Gracious-street to morrow . — Hum hum hum . Hum hum hum hum Mary , hum hum hum hum , — Anon forsooth . Pray remember to rise betimes to morrow morning , you know you have a great many cloathes to sope , hum , hum hum , hum , &c. But Sunday now good night , and now good morrow , To thee oh Covenant Wednesday full of sorrow , Alas ! my Lady Anne wont now be merry , She 's up betimes and gone to Alderman-bury , Truly 't was a sad day , for every sinner Did feast a supper then , and not a dinner ; Nor men nor women wash their face to day , Put on their cloathes , and pisse , and so away ; They throng to Church just as they sell their ware , In greasie hats , and old gowns worn thread bare , Where , though th' whole body suffered tedious pain , No member yet had more cause to complain Than the poor nose , when little to its ease , A Chandlers cloak perfum'd with candle-grease , Commixing sents with a Sope-boylers breeches , Did raise a stink beyond the skill of Witches . Now steams of Garlick through the nostrils passage Made thorough-fairs , hell take their bold embassage , With these mundungus and a breath that smells Like standing-pools in subterraneal cells . Compos'd Pomanders to out-stink the Devil , Yet strange to tell , they sufferd all this evil , Nor to make water all the while would rise , The women sure had spunges 'twixt their thighs : To stir at this good time they thought was sin , So strictly their devotion kept them in . Now the Priest's elbows do the cushion knead ▪ While to the people he his Text doth read , Beloved , I shall here crave leave to speak A word , he cries and winks , unto the weak , The words are these , Make haste and do not tarry , But unto Babylon thy dinner carry , There doth young Daniel want in the Den , Thrown among Lyons by hard-harted men . Here my Beloved , and then he reaches down His hand , as if he 'd catch the Clerk by th' crown . Not to explain this pretious Text amiss , Daniel's the subject , Hunger th' object is , Which proves that Daniel was subject to hunger , But that I mayn't detain you any longer , My Brethren all prick up your ears , and put on Your senses all while I the words unbutton . Make haste , I say , make haste and do not tarry , ] Why ? my Beloved , these words great force do carry . Au ! 't is a waundrous emphatical speech , Some men Beloved , as if th' had lead i' their breech , Do walk , and some ( as snails ) do creep as fast : Truly , my Brethren , these men do not make haste . But be ye quick , 1 dear Sisters , be ye quick , And lest ye fall , take hope , hope 's like a stick . To Babylon ] Ah Babylon ! that word 's a weighty one , Truly 't was a great City , and a mighty one . Which as the learned Rider well records , Semiramis did build with brick and bords . Wicked Semiramis , Oh how I stretch ! My spirit is mightily provok'd against that wretch . Lustfull Semiramis , for will I wist Thou wert the mother of proud Antichrist . Nay , like to Levi and Simeon from antiquity , The Pope and thee were Sisters in iniquity . Strumpet Semiramis , like her was non , For she built Babylon , Ah! she built Babylon . But , 2 Brethren , be ye good as she was evil , Must ye needs go because she 's gone to the Devil ? Thy dinner carry . ] Here may we look upon A childe of God in great affliction : Why what does he aile ? Alas ! he wanteth meat , Now what ( Beloved ) was sent him for to eat ? Truly a small matter ; one a dish of pottage , But pray what pottage ? Such as a small cottage Afforded only to the Country swains , From whence , though not a man the place explains , 'T is guess'd that neither Christmas pottage 't was , Nor white-broth , nor capon-broth , good for sick maws , Nor milk-porrage , or thick pease-porrage either , Nor was it mutton-broth , nor veal-broth neither , But sure some homely stuff crum'd with brown-bread , And thus was Daniel , good Daniel fed . Truly , this was but homely fare you 'll say , Yet Daniel , good Daniel was content that day . And though there could be thought on nothing cheaper , Yet fed as well on 't as he had been a reaper . 3 Better eat any thing than not at all , Fasting , Beloved , why ? 't is prejudiciall To the weak Saints , Beloved 't is a sin , And thus to prove the same I will begin : Hunger , Beloved , why ? this hunger mauls , Au ! 't is a great mauler , it breaks stone-walls , Now my Beloved , to break stone-walls you know , Why 't is flat felony , and there 's great woe Follows that sin , besides 't is a great schism , 'T is ceremonious , 't is Pagan Judism , Judism ? why Beloved , have you ere been Where the black Dog of Newgate you have seen ? Hair'd like a Turk , with eyes like Antichrist , He doth and hath ye Brethren long entic't . Claws like a Star-chamber Bishop , black as hell , And doubtlesse he was one of those that fell . Judism I say is uglier than this dog : Truly & caetera's not so foul a hog . Thrown among Lyons by hard-harted men , ] Here Daniel is the Church , the World 's the Den. By Lyons are meant Monarchs , Kings of Nations , Those worse than heathenish abominations : Truly dear friends , these Kings and Governours , These Bishops too , nay all superiour powers , Why they are Lyons , Locusts , Whales , I Whales , beloved , Off goes our ears if once their wrath be moved ; But woe unto you Kings ! woe to you Princes ! 'T is fifty and four , now Antichrist , so saies My book must reign three daies , and three half daies , Why that is three years and a half beloved . Or else as many precious men have proved One thousand two hundred and threescore daies , Why now the time 's almost expir'd , time staies For no man ; friends then Antichrist shall fall , Then down with Rome , with Babel , down with all , Down with the Devil , the Pope , the Emperour , With Cardinals , and the King of Spain's great power ; They 'l muster up , but I can tell you where , At Armageddon , there , Beloved , there , Fall on , fall on , kill , kill , alow , alow , Kill Amaleck , and Turk , kill Gog and Magog too . But who dear friends fed Daniel thus forsak'n , Truly ( but there 's one sleeps , a would do well to awak'n . ) As 't is in th' English his name ends in Ock , And so his name is called Habacuck . But in th' original it ends in Ock For that dear sisters calls him have-a-Cock . And truly I suppose I need not fear But that there are many have-a-Cocks here : The Laud increase the number of have-a-Cocks , Truly false Prophets will arise in flocks ; But as a farding candle shut up quite In a dark Lanthorn never giveth light ; Even such are they . Ay but my brethren dear I 'am no such Lanthorn , for my horns are clear . But I shall now conclude this glorious truth With an exhortation to old men and youth : Be sure to feed young Daniel , that 's to say , Feed all your Ministers that preach and pray . First , of all cause 't is good , I speak that know so , Fourthly , cause 't is no evil for to do so . Thirdly , because 't is very good , and twelfthly , Cause there 's nought better , unlesse I my self lye . But now he smells the pyes begin to reak , His teeth water , and he can no longer speak : And now it will not be amisse to tell ye How he was troubled with a woman's belly ; For she was full of caudle and devotion , Which in her stomach raised a commotion , For the hot vapours much did damnifie , The woman went to walk in Finsbury . So though a while she was sustain'd with ginger , Yet at the length a cruel pain did twinge her ; And like as marble sweats before a shower , So did she sweat , and sweating forth did pour Her mornings draught of Sugar sops and Saffron , Into her sighing neighbours cambrick apron . At which a Lard she cry'd full sad to see The foul mishap , yet suffer'd patiently : How do you then she cry'd ? I 'me glad 't is up : Ah sick , sick , sick ; cryes one , oh for a cup Of my mint water that 's at home . As patt as might be , then the Parson cry'd , 'T is good ; one holds her head , let 't come let 't come . Still crying ; just i' th' nick , the Priest reply'd , Yea like a stream ye ought to let it flow , And then she reach'd , and once more let it go . Streight an old woman with a brace of chins , A bunch of keys , and cushion for her pins , Seeing in earnest the good woman lack it , Draws a strong-water bottle from her placket ; Well heated with her flesh , she takes a sup , Then gives the sick , and bids her drink it up . But all in vain , her eyes begin to roul , She sighs , and all cry out , alas poor soul ! One then doth pinch her cheek , one pulls her nose , Some blest the opportunity that were her foes , And they reveng'd themselves upon her face , S. Dunstans Devil was ne're in such a case . Now Priest say what thou wilt , for here 's a chat Begun of this great Empyrick , and that Renowned Doctor , what cures they have done : I like not Mayern , he speaks French sayes one . Oh sayes another , though the man be big , For my part , I know none like Dr. Trig. Nay , hold you there sayes t'other , on my life There 's none like Chamberlain the man midwife . Then in a heap , their own receipts they muster To make this gelly , how to make that plaster , Which when she heares , but that now fainting lay , Up starteth she , and talkes as fast as they . But they that did not mind this dolefull passio Followed their businesse on another fashion , For all did write , the Elder and the Novice , Me thought the Church look't like the six Clerks office . But Sermon 's done , and all the folks as fast As they can trudge , to Supper now make haste : Down comes the Priest , when a grave Brother meets him , And putting off his narrow-brim'd hat , thus greets him : Deare Sir , my Wife and I do you invite O' th' Creature with us to partake this night : And now suppose what I prepare to tell ye , The City-dame , whose faith is in the belly Of her cramm ' Priest , had all her cates in order , That Gracious-street , or Cheap-side can afford her . Lo first a Pudding ! truly 't had more Reasons Than forty Sermons shew at forty seasons . Then a Sur-loyne came in , as hot as fire , Yet not so hot as was the Priests desire . Next came a shoulder of Mutton rosted raw , To be as utterly abolisht as the Law. The next in order was a Capon plump , With an Use of Consolation in his rump . Then came a Turky cold , which in its life Had a fine tail , just like the Citizens wife . But now by 'r leave and worship too , for hark ye , Here comes the Venson put in Paste by Starky : Which once set down , there at the little hole Immediately in whips the Parsons soul. He saw his Stomacks anchor , and believ'd That now his belly should not be deceiv'd . How he leans ore the cheer toward his first mover ! While his hot zeal doth make his mouth run over . This Pastie had Brethren too , like to the Mayors , Three Christmas , or Minc'd pies , all very fair . Methought they had this Motto , Though they flirt us , And preach us down , Sub pondere crescit virtus . Apple-tarts , Fools , and strong cheese to keep down The steaming vapours from the Parsons crown . Canary too , and Claret eke also , Which made the tips of their ears and noses glow . Up now they rise , and walk to their several chairs , When lo , the Priest uncovers both his ears . Most gracious Shepherd of the Brethren all , Thou saidst that we should eat , before the Fall ; Then was the world but simple , for they knew Not either how to bake , or how to brew . But happily we fell , and then the Vine Did Noah plant , and all the Priests drank wine ; Truly we cannot but rejoyce to see Thy gifts dispenc'd with such equality . To us th' ast given wide throats , and teeth to eat ; To the women , knowledge how to dresse our meat . Make us devoutly constant in thy cup , And grant us strength when we shall cease to sup , To bear away thy creatures on our feet , And not be seen to tumble in the street . We are thy sheep , O let us feed , feed on , Till we become as fat as any Brawn . Then let 's fall to , and eat up all the cheer , Straight So be it he cryes , and calls for beer . Now then , like Scanderbeg he falls to work , And hews the Pudding as he hew'd the Turk . How he plough'd up the Beef like Forrest-land , And fum'd because the bones his wrath withstand . Upon the Mutton he fell not like a Lamb , But rather like a Wolf he tore the same . At first a Sister helpt him , but this Elfe sir , Wearying her out , she cryes , Pray help your self sir. Upon the Pastie though he fell anon , As if 't had been the walls of Babylon . Like a Cathedral down he throwes that stuff , Why , Sisters , saith he , I am pepper-proof . Then down he powres the Claret , and down again , And would the French King were a Puritan , He cryes : swills up the Sack , and I 'le be sworn Quoth he , Spain's King is not the Popes tenth horn . By this his tearing hunger doth abate , And on the second course they 'gan to prate . Then quoth Priscilla , Oh my Brother dear : Truly y' are welcome to this homely chear , And therefore eat , good brother , eat your fill , Alas for Daniel , my heart aketh still . Then quoth the Priest , Sister be of good heart ; But she reply'd good Brother eat some Tart. Rebecca then a member of the ' lection Began to talk of Brotherly affection ; For this , said she , as I have heard the wise Discourse , consisteth much in exercise ; Yet I was foolish , and would oft resist , But you had more grace , Brother , then to desist . Streight he reply'd , there is a time for all things , There is a time for great things and for small things . There 's a time to eat , and drink , and reformation , A time to empty , and for procreation ; Therefore dear Sister let us take our time , There 's reason for 't , I never car'd for Rhyme : Then truly answer'd she , 't is a good motion , And I embrace it with a warm devotion . Why you know Brother you did never prove That I was ere ingratefull for your love ; But sometimes Angels did attend your Purse , At other times you know I did you nurse , With many a secret dish of lusty meat , And presently we went and did the feat . Truly quoth Dorcas then , I saw a Vision , That we should have our foes in great derision . Quoth Martha straight , ( and then she shook the crums From off her apron white , and pickt her gums ) So I do hope , for so our Brother said ; O what a heavenly piece of work he made ! But I am ign'rant , and my memory short , I shall forget , were I to be hang'd for 't . Then quoth the Priest , The cheer that here we see , Is but an Emblem of Mortality . The Oxe is strong , and glories in his strength , Yet him the Butcher knocks down , and at length We eate him up . A Turkie's very gay , Like wordly people clad in fine array ; Yet on the Spit it looks most piteous , And we devoure it , as the wormes eate us . Then full of sawce and zeale up steps Elnathan , [ This was his name now , once he had another , Untill the Ducking-pond made him a Brother ] A Deacon and a Buffeter of Sathan . Truly , quoth he , I know a Brother dear , Would gladly pick the bones of what 's left here . Nay he would gladly pick your pockets too Of a small two pence , or a groat , or so , The sorry remnants of a broken shilling ; Therefore I pray you friends be not unwilling . But as for me , 't is more than I do need , To be charitable both in word and deed ; For as to us , the holy Scriptures say , The Deacons must receive , the Lay-men pay . Why Heathen folks that do in Taverns stray , Will never let their friends the reckning pay . And therefore pour your charity into the bason , Brethren and Sisters eke , your coats have lace on . Why Brethren in the Lord , what need you care For six pence ? we 'll one hour enhance our ware . Your six pence comes again , nay there comes more ; Thus Charity 's th' encreaser of your store . Truly well spoke , then cry'd the Master-feaster , Since you say so , here , you shall have my tester : But for the women , they gave more liberally , For they were sure to whom they gave , and why : Then did Elnathan blink , for he knew well What he might give , and what he might conceal . But now the Parson could no longer stay , 'T is time to kisse , he cryes , and so away . At which the sisters , once th' alarum tak'n , Made such a din as would have serv'd to wak'n A snoring brother , when he sleeps at Church ; With bagg and baggage then they gan to march ; And ticled with the thoughts of their delight , One sister to the other bids Good night . Good night quoth Dorcas to Priscilla , she , Good night dear sister Dorcas unto thee . In these goodly good nights much time was spent , And was it not a holy complement ? At length in steps the Parson , on his breast Laying his hand , A happy night of rest Reward thy labours sister : yet ere we part , Feel in my lips the passion of my heart . To another straight he turn'd his face , and kist her , And then he cryes , All peace be with thee Sister . To another in a godly tune he whines , Dear Sister from thy lip I le take my tines . With that he kist , and whispers in her eare , The time when it should be , and the place where . Thus they all part , the Parson followes close , For well the Parson knoweth where he goes . This seem'd a golden time , the fall of sin , You 'd think the thousand years did now begin , When Satan chain'd below should cease to roar , Nor durst the wicked as they wont before Come to the Church for pastime , nor durst laugh To hear the non-plust Doctor faigne a cough . The Devil himself , alas ! now durst not stand Within the switching of the Sextons wand , For so a while the Priests did him pursue , That he was fain to keep the Sabboth too , Lest being taken in the Elders lure , He should have paid his crown unto the poor ; And lest he should like a deceiver come 'Twixt the two Sundays inter stitium , They stuft up Lecturers with texts and straw , On working-dayes to keep the Devil in awe . But strange to think , for all this solemn meeknesse , At length the Devil appeared in his likenesse , While these deceits did but supply the wants Of broken unthrifts , and of thread-bare Saints . Oh what will men not dare , if thus they dare Be impudent to Heaven , and play with Prayer ! Play with that fear , with that religious awe Which keeps men free , and yet is mans great law : What can they but the worst of Atheists be , Who while they word it 'gainst impiety , Affront the throne of God with their false deeds , Alas , this wonder in the Atheist breeds . Are these the men that would the Age reforme , That Down with Superstition cry , and swarme This painted Glasse , that Sculpture to deface , But worship pride , and avarice in their place . Religion they bawle out ; yet know not what Religion is , unlesse it be to prate . Meeknesse they preach , but study to controule ; Money they 'd have , when they cry out the soul. And angry , will not have Our Father said , 'Cause it prayes not enough for daily bread . They meet in private , and cry Persecution , When Faction is their end , and State-confusion : These are the men that plague and over-run Like Goths and Vandalls all Religion : Every Mechanick either wanting stock Or wit to keep his trade must have a flock : The Spirit , cryes he , moveth me unto it , And what the Spirit bids , must I not do it ? But having profited more than his flock by teaching , And stept into authority by preaching For a lay Office , leaves the Spirits motion And streight retreateth from his first devotion . But this he does in want , give him preferment , Off goes his gown , God's call is no determent . Vain foolish people , how are ye deceiv'd ? How many several sorts have ye receiv'd Of things call'd truths , upon your backs lay'd on Like saddles for themselves to ride upon ? They rid amain , and hell and Satan drove , While every Priest for his own profit strove . Can they the age thus torture with their lyes , Low'd bellowing to the world Impieties , Black as their coats , and such a silent fear Lock up the lips of men , and charm the ear ? Had that same holy Israelite been dumb , That fatall day of old had never come To Baals Tribe , and thrice unhappy age While zeal and piety like mask'd in rage And vulgar ignorance . How we do wonder Once hearing , that the heavens were fir'd to thunder Against assailing Gyants , surely men , Men thought could not presume such violence then : But 't was no Fable , or if then it were , Behold a sort of bolder mortals here , Those undermining shifts of knavish folly , Using alike to God and men most holy ; Infidels who now seem to have found out A suttler way to bring their ends about Against the Deity then op'nly to fight By smooth insinuation and by slight : They close with God , seem to obey his Lawes , They cry alowd for him and for his cause . But while they do their strict injunctious preach , Deny in actions what their words do teach . O what will men not dare , if thus they dare Be impudent with Heaven , and play with Prayer ! Yet if they can no better teach than thus , Would they would onely teach themselves , not us : So while they still on empty out-sides dwell , They may perhaps be choakt with husk and shell ; While those , who can their follies well refute , By a true knowledge do obtain the fruit . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54774-e140 Ingredients that compound a Cong●egation . Maids beware of sleeping at Church . Hang it . Robert Wisdom's delight . Practice of Piety . Hey-day ! Iack-a-dandy . To be heard of men . To the Tune of S. Margarets Chimes . Behold the zeal of the people . The Exposition . 1 Vse . Not like an anchor . Babel battered . 2 Vse . Would he have been so content ? 3 Vse . Several Reasons . Description of Antichrist . And hey then up go we , ☞ The Doctrine of Generation . For Ministers may be Cuckholds . Vse of Exhortation . Motives 1. 4. 3. 12. Hunger a great enemy to Gospel duty . A Crop-sick sister . A very great Creature-comfort . A great cry , and a little . wooll . A great sign of grace . Bill of fare . Grace before meat Much good may do you Sir. Christian forgiveness . No Grace after meat . Nothing beyond ingratitude . A man may love his brother , but Not better than himself . Christian Liberty . Nere a profane kiss among all these . 
A54765	----	Maronides, or, Virgil travestie being a new paraphrase upon the fifth book of Virgils Æneids in burlesque verse / by John Phillips, Gent., the author of the Satyr against hypocrites. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1672 Approx. 118 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 66 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54765 Wing P2090 ESTC R30101 11244191 ocm 11244191 47083 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54765) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 47083) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1448:18) Maronides, or, Virgil travestie being a new paraphrase upon the fifth book of Virgils Æneids in burlesque verse / by John Phillips, Gent., the author of the Satyr against hypocrites. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 134, [i.e. 152] p. Printed for Nathanael Brooks ..., London : 1672. Numerous errors in paging. Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Virgil -- Parodies, imitations, etc. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MARONIDES OR Virgil Travestie : Being a new PARAPHRASE Upon the Fifth Book of Virgils AEneids in Burlesque Verse . By Iohn Phillips Gent. the Author of the Satyr against Hypocrites . LONDON Printed for Nathanael Brooks at the Angel in Cornhil 1672. TO My Honoured Friend GEORGE VVHARTON Esq Treasurer and Pay-master of his Majesties Office of the Ord'nance in the TOWER . Sir , THere is no man that puts Pen to Paper but has so much kindness for the offspring of his own fancy , as to think it may deserve some Charity , though it be but a Blew-coat entertainment . If men cavil at the subject , as perhaps some Paedagogues may for affronting their Classic Author ) t is no more then if they should see Virgil himself now playing at the serious game of Irish , and by and by , turning the Tables , and trifling away a little time at the idle sport of Draughts . I know it is a rudeness to interrupt the serious studies of any person , but for the same person to take his own pastime is no ill manners to himself ; though as to what relates to my defence , perhaps I may aver that he who reads the following pages may find so much of the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 intermix'd , as wilperadventure turn ' emmore into a serious Satyr ▪ then a jocular story . Let others think what they please ; if these extravagant howers of mine shall have the happiness to gain your approhation , t is ' what I expect . The chief reason why I make this address to your self , being , because I am fully perswaded , that he who has been so true a judge of Loyalty , can be no less a judge of Ingenuity . So I Remain Your Humble Servant I. Phillips . Maronides OR Virgil Travesty . LIB . V. WHile Dido in a Bed of Fire , A new-found way to cool desire , Lay wrapt in smoke , half Cole , half Dido , Too late repenting Crime Libido , Monsieur AEneas went his ways ; For which I con him little praise , To leave a Lady , not i th' mire , But which was worser , in the fire . He Neuter-like , had no great aim , To kindle or put out the flame . Both City dames and Croyden-Gillians , For ten mile round , were also fine At place prepar'd , ere clock strook nine . Young men and maids , Old men and babes , Lady's in Coaches , durty drabs , In wooden-heel shoos , and shoostrings blew , With headlong hast came all to view The fare renowned Trojan blades ; And eke their solemn Masquerades , AEneas brought the prizes forth , Which were to be rewards of worth : A very noble Porridg-Pot , Two doublets very finely wrought The one half , silk , the other Canvas , Two Flagellets , a Treble , and base : An Engin , which , if I don't err , Great Artists call a Nut-Cracker : Trenchers two dozen , I don't dally , The which AEneas in a Sally , Plunder'd from Tent of Agamemnon , There was no reason to contemn'um Though they were brown , yet they were good And purchaz'd with the price of blood . One of old Priams greasie Hats . An instrument to murder Cats . The work of famous Aristander , Mathematician and Commander ; Who fifty ways could Rats destroy And wrot thereof a Book in Troy. A Peuter Bowl enamel'd rare ; Two Slippers , two , and not a pair ; For one was mighty Hectors own , The other Iason wore alone ; The one was blew , the other green , Embroider'd both with Gold I ween . A Gittern whereon Helen playd , When very young , I mean , a maid . With many other Rarities To please the most ambitious eyes ; The which AEneas liberal Expos'd to view upon a Stall . AEneas first beat up his Drum ; Then taking Trumpet with his ‖ Thumb ▪ He sounds a Levet Tan , tan , ta , ra : He blew with such a Si sa ra ra , Until he got the Piles behind : Behold the mighty force of Wind ! And then for silence making sign , With Eloquence the most divine ; Quo he , let us begin by Sea , And with our Ships commence the Play. The Vanquisher that shall command Shall be rewarded out of hand , With such a prize , as he shall say , And for a truth affirm it may , When he came out of Mothers placket , That he was wrapt in Mothers smicket . Menestheus , and there hangs a tale , Chose the good Ship , yclepd the Whale , Who when he came to Italy , First founded Memmion Progeny . To whose geeat deeds , if y' are not privy , In English read , or Latine , Livy . Gias a young man well descended ; The next place strove to be commended . For he was strong and very Chuffish , And a great diver was for Craw-fish . Sergestus was the third brave blade , Who , when he came to Rome , first made The house of Sergius far renown'd : Thence Galba came , an Emperor crown'd ▪ Now this Sergestus shav'd his head : For why ? because his hair was red . But for the Ship he ruled o're ▪ 'T was call'd , they say , the good Centore . He playd all Games at dice all weathers : And Fowl devoured in their feathers , For knowledge was not then prepar'd To turn-pike up their skins with Lard . Cloantus was the next brave Lad , In Drawers made of Canvas cladd . His good Ship was the Scylla nam'd Himself for little else was fam'd . Only from him and from his Dame , They say , Seignor Cluentus came . These only were the Gallant Boyes That strove to win AEneas toyes . Not far i th' Sea there stood a Rock , Your brains out sooner you might knock , Then move it , yet because it stood So near the Shoare , they held it good To make this Rock Contenders mark , He that first touch't it was a spark . AEneas full of wit and wile , Thought good to throw up cross or pile , T' avoid contention and more strife Then he intended ; to be brief , The Galleys having took their place , The brave Commanders , each with face Like Lyons bold stood on the Poop , In one hand Brandy , t'other Rope . Quo they unto their Gally Slaves , As every one himself behaves , Here 's this or this , take which you please , But this I think 's most for your ease ; I can assure you 't is for mine . Then leaving Rope , take Brandy wine . That is , like Devils row , not men ; So I and you shall honour gain . With that a generous heat invaded Their braunie Arms with Oyl bedaubed , And if their hearts went pit a pat , T was only fearing they knew what . With speeches thus and courage spur'd , They wanted nothing but the word . The signal given , to 't they go , With Head above and Tayl below : All at one time they make a start , T' ha seen it would have joy'd your heart . I' th name of ill luck see the slaves , How they do cut and slash the waves ; How they do sweat ! the more fools they ; They need no Ushers to make way . In vain the Ocean yells and roars ; You 'd think'm rather Wings than Oars . And for the Ships — not many words , You 'd swear they were no Ships , but birds . Have you er'e seen on Wilton Plain , Of gallant Coursers three or twain ; How nimbly forward each one pricks , While their thin sides the Rider licks ? So through the Sea the straining Galleys Are forc'd for their Commanders follies . See how the oyl of heated brows , Drops from their Foreheads on their Toes , Streight one the order breaks , and then , What say's the man commands the men ? You may be sure he says no prayers ; But to be sure , devoutly swears ; Row , row ye Rogues , row for your lives You 'l please the Gods , and please your Wives . Row Devils , d'ont ye proverbs know ? What Devil drives , that needs must go . The pleas'd spectators they behold , And each one wishes , as he would Have the cause to go . Here prayeth one For friend , there mother for her son . With various clamours , various cries They all be-din th' amazed skies . Fair Eccho hearing such a clamor , Resolv'd to make one , as became her , Replying to the word Courage , Courage sometimes , and sometimes rage . Gyas so well his business ply'd , That he was got a spet and stride Before the rest : for understand ye , H 'had been no niggard of his Brandy . Their heads were lighter by a Tun , Which made the Ship the faster run . Cloantus follow'd close a Stern , While t'other nails doth bite , and girn . His heel alas was heavier much A damn'd fly-bottom made by Dutch. The Whale and Centaure jig by joul , Swam very friendly to the Goal . But now these friendly Enemies , Men otherwise discreet and wise ; Seeing themselves approach the place That gave them honour or disgrace ; Now every one looks on his brother As if they could have eat each other . Have you ere seen upon the tiles , When Moon on tops of Houses smiles , Two great boar-cats , with sparkling eyes , Look each on other , while the prize , Grey Maulkin , couches in their sight , So Trojans now brim full of spite Wish that the ships and men also Might rather to the Devil go . Or to the bottom of the Sea , Than that his ship should lose the day . Gyas who thought his Pilot steer'd , Too Roomie , and some by-blow fear'd , Roard like a Lyon ; ye damn'd dog , Why so far off , keep close ye Rogue , Why Menetus ? son of a whore , I say keep closer to the shore . But Menetus was deaf as block . For his experience feard a Rock . Which if the ship it once should justle , Yfaith Sir Guyas might go whustle . Then Guyas in a fury falls , And yauls and bauls , and calls and yauls . Hei — Dotard , Pilot mine A — Hir'd by my foes ▪ and that is worse My youth of honour to deprive . Close ; or the Devil fetch thee alive . Soul of a dog keep close a shore . But Menetus would nere the more . Mean-while Cloantus near at hand , Slides betwixt Guyas and the Land. Where Menetus had left the Shore , O Heav'ns ! how Gyas then did roar . His choler boyl'd up like a Kettel , And in the heat of all his mettle , To Menetus he dings amain : He did not stand with serious brain T' advise if rashness were a fault ; But in a moment , quick as thought , Griping his neck , as Poult'rers gripe , The necks of Turkies , Hens , or Snipe , He plung'd him headlong in the Sea , Sans complement or other plea. Go there , quo he , confounded fop , Fit but to make the Devil a sop ▪ And now to fetch Cloantus up , He takes the Helm in his own clutches , Quo he , Hell take the slave that grutches To melt his grease or break his back , Rather than let my Honour crack . By this poor Menetus that swum Not like a stone , but like a Drum , Had made a shift , a good one too , To scramble though without a Shoo , Up to the top of a small Cliff. No other Chamber , to his grief , He then could have to dry his hair ; Each one of which might well compare To the best River in the Isle . His hary Arms he squeez'd er'e while , And fil'd at every stroak three pails . He frown'd and scowld , and bit his nails . The people that beheld his fall Yet sorry did not seem at all , Could not but laugh when they lookt up , And saw him on the peeked top Perch'd like an Ape upon his breech . They could not hear his raving speech ; But judg'd him angry by his face , And twisting beard at his disgrace . By this advantage those behind That neither with their Oars nor wind Could hope before , now haul and tear , Thinking to put in for a snare . Sergestus therefore straining hard , Menestheus leaves i' the rear gard , Which he disdaining cries outwrite Ye cursed slaves , you row , you shite . You work as if your Arms were broke , Such scoundrel dogs the Devil choak . What Hospital have I dispeopl'd , For such a crew so damn'dly crippl'd . What Goale broke loose to vex my brains , With setter'd Arms and Feet in Chains ? There go again damn'd rotten fellows , Good for just nothing but the Gallowes . Well Neptune hadst thou been so kind , T' assist me with one puff of wind , Thou shouldst have known , deny 't who can , Thou hadst oblig'd a Gentleman . But since your worship plainly shews , The little love to me it owes ; And that I must be yet beholding To these weak slaves , I 'le leave off scolding . Row on my hearts , men of renown , Redeem your honour and my own . This picquant speech so prickt their souls , That they renew their strength in shoals . The truants dry before , grew wet ; All on a suddain bath'd in sweat . Sergestus fearing they would rout him , With double fury layes about him . But wo for him in time of need , The more the hast , the worse the speed . For ill advised of a rock , The ship with such a wannion strook ; Rash went the Keel , crack went the prow ▪ Some twenty Oars brake at one blow . Quo one , thrown off as he was rowing , l'th Devils name where am I going ? Two hundred men were flung about , As , Man had been but a dish-clout , Like chairs and stools in Tavern fray , Here one and there another lay . Sergestus , more i th' suds than Sea , Misfortune would not yet obey . But made 'm go to work again ; And fish the pieces out o' th' Main . Chear up my boys , there 's life in Mustle With that they kept a heavy bustle ; And presently they got her off . They row and heave , and blow and puff . Sergestus daunc'd a Sarraband To see his men obey command . Now you must know that in the nick Of this mischance , Menestheus quick - Ly had the Centaur over-run . And seeing now his business done Oh! are ye there , quo he , stick fast , Till I come back ; I 'me now in hast ; Which made Sergestus backward pray For the misfortune of the day . While poor Sergestus thus imbroil'd , Against the worst of evils toil'd , Menestheus heads young Gyas prow Quo he , hei — Gyas — what chere ho ! Where 's Menetus ? gon to Peg Trantum ? Such pocky Pilots who can want'm ? Gyas made no reply for grief ; But there he stood just like Lots Wife . His Ship like Horse without a bridle Made a great bustle , yet was idle . Cloantus straight he overtook : Cloantus that could hardly brook ; Against his men he disimbogues A hundred Villains , Thousand Rogues . But 't was in vain to keep a pudder , When men could hardly hold the Rudder . Thus from hard fortune Heav'n protect us ! Cloantus victor now est victus . Menestheus now with wind and tide And acclamations on his side , Went on without competitor . 'T is good you see sometimes therefore , To have the favour of a Whore. Cloantus seeing this abuse , Although what Seamen seldome use Yet in a case so necessary , From Custome yet resolves to vary . And though as mad as are March Hares , Compos'd his mind to say his Prayers . They say he made this brief Oration , Or rather sweet ejaculation . Ye Gods , that lodged in the Seas , Oft succour Vessels in distress , When overcharged with Hogsheads , And taking Rocks for feather-beds , They oft to him become a prey , That owes the Mannor of the Sea. And likewise , that which never fails , You set your Arses gainst the tayls . Of Galleys , when they want a wind , And blow 'em forward with — behind ; If by your aid my vessel slow Shall win the prize , I make this vow ; An Ox shall be the Recompence , Of your Divine omnipotence ; And then to please your appetite , That in Ragou's take much delight , The body shall be stuft with parsly ; The Entrails spiced , and pepper'd fiercely . And for to treat you as my Minions , I do assure you of Champignons : With this a present of Greek-wine , To tope your noses most divine . And as for Fish , ye then shall surfeit On Salmon , Cods-head , Carp and Turbet . This vow attested with Cud — nowns , Made water in their mouths eft-soons . Immediately the Sea-Gods all , And Goddesses both great and small , To help Cloantus are agreed , In hopes so well to drink and feed . So by main strength they gave a shove , Or whether they the ship did move Some other way , that makes no matter But sure I am he got the better ; Leaving Menestheus and the rest To follow him as they could best . Cloantus now in Port so safe , For Joy it made AEneas laugh . And after that he made a speech Which did the Company bewitch . And by a Herauld did proclaim The worshipful Cloanthus fame . And then with Lawrel crown'd his head In token he so well had sped . Then from his pocket forth he drew A Leathern pouch , both full and new ; And gave the Mariners , I think , Some four Deneers a piece , to drink . And farther for their present Chear , He set a broach three tunns of beer . A Brigandine most gay and rich Cloanth to take he did beseech , Who though he then for joy did cry , To take the same did not deny . It was a very neat designe , For it was full of Pictures fine . By graver wrought there might you read , The History of Ganimed . Fair Ganimed great Ioves Bordachio , Whose Chin he prickt with his Mustachio . There the young squire you might behold With hunting Javelin on his should — Er , and you 'd think he did pursue A Hart that fled , but neither true . Just in the nick an Eagle came , 'T was wild on Earth but in Heav'n tame ; Who being sent for his dear sake Takes perfect hold with Claws and beak And streight according to the plot , Away he carries little Trott . In vain his play-fellowes pursue The mighty bird , that swiftly flew . There you may see his Greyhound Placket , Seeming to keep a fearful Racket , Striving to leap into the Air : What noises he made ye cannot hear . And well it was 't was but a picture , His howling else , as I conjecture , Cloantus might have made repent , Th' acceptance of his Ornament . The Painter yet did well t' express The Greyhounds love and tenderness . And Virgil too did well to shew , That he what painting meant did know . A Cuiras shap'd in Clouds of Gold , Menestheus had to have and hold To him and to his heirs for ever , They say a fairer was seen never . It was the Cairas of a Cap — Tain , that long since had the mishap ( Mishap indeed ) for to be kill'd , By great AEneas in the field . As fine as 't was , it seems , the same Sav'd neither Masters life , nor fame . This Captain was Demoleon hight , Now being slain bid him good night . The Cuiras it was all of Gold , For t was so heavy that to hold It in their Arms , nor Sagaris Nor Phegeus could endure I wiss . You 'd have me tell you , who they be , No by my truth , I me not so free . Two brazen Kettles he gave more , Two gondola's without an Oar ; Of Latten made , and worth each one , I guess , about a duccatoon . As for who 't was these guifts deserv'd , Virgil is very much reserv'd . And sparingly divides the store , To Cloanth , only , and one more . Our knick-knacks were more freely giv'n , But how they 'l get'm , that knowes Heaven : Now they that were contented well , Were well content by the sequel . Which made them on the sands to walk , For Liberty to chat and talk . As they were making their preambles Of their atchievments and their gambols , Repeating one thing ten times over ; Behold ! what is it they discover . Even Sergestus all forlorn ; With broken Oars , and vessel torn , Making god-wot , a weak endeavour The Shoar in safety to recover . He lookt like one quite broke at speirings After some twenty thousand jeerings . For you must know he took 't in snuff That any Rock should him out-huff . But in his passion came too nigh him , For Rock would not be hector'd by him , Which brought him unto weeping Cross , More for the shame than for the loss . Have you a Serpent ever seen , With skin so pompous , blew and green . Taking his pastime on the Road , When on a suddain the swift load Of hanckney-Coach his chine doth crack , Tearing his kidneys from his back . There moves the Snake brisk at the head , But by the tayl ill followed , So now the ship , in some part whole , In some parts full as washing bowl , And pinion'd quite for want of wings , Of Oars I mean , or such like things , Instead of swimming , briskly row'd , Moves like a Tortoise , only towd , At length with help of little wind , ( Thanks to the little gale so kind ) And Canvas saile , ( live ever they , That Canvas first did bring in play ) With much a do she made the Port : Sergestus , looked ala-mort . How'ere AEneas , good man he , Of poor Sergestus took Pi-tee . T is thought there were some shavers there ; Wisht'rather his , than their own share . Pox on 't , quo one , would I had lost , I had sav'd my bones and yet got most . For for to comfort up his heart , And wash his tayl all mire and durt , AEneas gave him dainty maid ; I mean a Nurse , whatere I sayd , With too small Children at her brest ; So she could be no maid , 't is guest . This woman was Nurse Pholoe hight She could both read , and pothooks wright , Her nostrel was so wide and plain , That you might almost see her brain , Though Cretan born , yet was she free , From lying or from thievery . Her face was something black and fat , And eke her Armholes smelt somewhat . She playd upon the Virginals ; With Castanets could dance at balls ; She could preserve , and also starch ; And so to other things we march . AEneas quitting the sea-shore Betakes him to a feild ; wherefore ? Not so fast Tom ; for you must know , The field was large and wild also . And Virgil says not to spoyl meeter , 'T was like a Cirque or Amphitheter . There sitting on a peice of Timber , As far as I can well remember , AEneas that renouned widgeon These words did speak in language Phrygian ▪ My loving friends and dear assistants Twixt you and I there is no distance I come not here with tales of tubs , And therefore from your Nolberjobs Lend me your leathern Lugs I pray , And listen well to what I say . If any of you here will run , You may , if not , let it alone . Better occasion , friends , believe it ye , No man can have to shew activity . Better employment to your mind , Where can your mighty Lordships find , Then to bestir your Lordly leggs In running after Mumblede pegs ? Sa , Sa , then come , make hast and strip ; You know that time doth nimbly skip . As for your doublets , I shall watch'em : Hands nimbler than your heels must catch'em : And he that has a nimble thigh , Let him here shew it by and by . For he that with his active pumps , Can put his enemies to his trumps , Or fairly winn the first assault , The Cat hath still left in the mault Something which I as my great trust is Shall give to all with equal justice . This faithful promise being made , Their hairy bosoms soon displaid . The Trojans eke and mixt Sicilians That came to see were many millions , Or thousands , for what should I ly for ? I fear I have err'd above a Cipher . But they that Poets read you know Will never stand for a round O : But if they should , 't is hard in my sence , To be debarr'd Poetick Licence . Which Poets claim as more emphatick , Than Conscience free to a Phanatick Euryalus , a youth most proper Shews all to Ladies but his Crupper ; For he had nothing on but 's drawers The first of Trojan clapper-clawers . My Master Nisus next appears , He had less shame , but far more years . For he had nothing but his shirt , Under his twist with knot begirt . His love was great t' Euryalus , A pious love , and not for buss . Diores next sprung from the Race Of Royal Priam , shews his face , With Helymus and Panopes Hoy day , — and who I pray are these ? Why these were two rich Farmers sons , Acestes great Companions . In fair , they hunted , in soul weather , They drank and play'd and whor'd together . Patron were next and Salias The one a bold Arcadian was , The other an Acarnan brisk , To run , or cuff , or tumble whisk : But which was one , or which was t'other , Maro himself doth not discover . Why then d' ye think I 'le tell ye more . Than I my self was told before ? Yet this I 'le say that Maro could not , Or if he could , I 'me sure he would not From one was lineally descended The Croyden Butcher so commended . The other to make out th'intreague , Forefather was of nimble Teage . Of all the rest we say but little , Since Maro spares to speak a tittle . All being thus resolv'd to run , Quo they , to great Anchises son , With guts discharg'd and bladders empty , Loe here our selves we do present thee . Streight-way AEneas sitting boldly On timber-log of which I told ye . By kind assistance of his tongue , Made 'em , they say , this short Harangue He that of you shall run the best , By my dead Father three times blest , In no wise shall repent his bargain , For hear what I propose ye for gain . Two darts , both made of Gnossian craft , Of Ebonie shall be the shaft ; Feather'd with Gold , which seems a Bull , But that I speak to men not dull . A Partisan of steel , but such An one , as you may make as rich , As any City leading staff , If you 'l be at expence enough . To the three swiftest in the course I do design to give a horse . Though I confess , they have most need , That slowest are , of nimble steed : But that 's all one , I 'me bound to praise ye , And not give horses to the lazie . This horse shall have Caparisons Rich as the Queen oth'Amazons . There boy's , there goes the hare away , And I think worth the catching , ha ! His quiver eke , and eke his belt , Cut from the brims of a broad felt , Embroidered all with work of Gold. Instead of shoulder knot , behold A glittering Pearl , three times as big As a large hen's or a duck egg . He that cryes hey — for our town , With olive branch him will I crown . The third shall have a morrion made At Argos , where it is their trade . I will not say how finely don , He 's free to take , or let 't alone . The signal given by the sound Of twisled trumpet , see the ground All in a cloud , and such a high one As wrapt AEneas like Ixion . Some said that sweat of heel and toe Would dust allay , but t was not so . For why to stop each ' others paces They kickt it in each others faces . Nisus had got by much the start , And as he ran , he oft did fart ; Which much endammadg'd them behind , Having two foes , the dust and wind . For by this means he got before , Some two and twenty yards or more . Nisus behind , but far behind Ran Salius , like a nimble Hind , After him ran Euryalus ; And close at his heels Helymus : Him Diores that was the last , Seeing'em all in so much hast , With malice now and rage ore'come , Gave such a kick upon his bum ; That through the pain of his Posteriors , He now gives way to his inferiors . Nisus was just upon the mark , But see how fate can prove a Turk ! For just ith'nick , he sprain'd his toe , There lay poor Nisus crying , oh — He bow'd so rudely to his toes , As made the blood spin from his nose . So there he lay as I have told ye , Swearing like a belfounder , boldly ; When furnace cracks , and metals runn , As if the Devil were on Dun. He saw the prize was not for him ; Which vext him more than did his limn . Yet though he lost his hope and glory , He had not lost the quick memory Of his Euryalus , so dear ; For Salias now coming near , He seiz'd so fiercely on his shoo , That Salias comes headlong too . Salias got up , as mad as Weesel , Dings a good dust at Nisus muzzle ; Nisus holds fast , and which is worse , ●ets his cursd fangs in Salias Arse . Nisus gripes hard , and rudely tears : ●alias curses , damms , and swears : Nisus is deaf , and nothing hears , But keeps him there , spite of his ears . Euryalus , thanks to his face , Thus got the Goal , and won the race . The rabble shout , and tear the Air , Favouring Euryalus the fair . They that beheld the real truth , Nisus and Salius , Arss and Mouth ; Cry'd out hey now for our Town ! Hold Nisus , hold , the Towns our own . The second man was Helymus ; And Diores the third , so close He trod upon his heels that day , Men fear'd a quarrel by the way . But as it seems , they were more wary : They'd other fish to fry , then tarry . Then Salius came with great complaints , Swearing by all his Gods and Saints , That they had rob'd him of his fat Ox While plaguy Nisus seiz'd his buttocks . Diores intercedes for him , As one he thought had lost a limb ; That since his luck was like his hurt , He might have satisfaction for 't . AEneas scarce refraining laughter , Yet as a curteous moderator , Come , come , quo he , cease difference , Ye shall have all due recompence : Therefore , quo he , as friends embrace , And kiss now in another place . And so the injury was repayd , With Morrion made like Lyons head ; The ears and eyes were all of gold And eke the teeth , fine to behold . So rich that Salias not deny'd , But he was fully satisfy'd . Then Nisus for to get comfort Presents himself all mire and dirt , From head to foot a Branford quag , About him never a clean rag : Now you may well observe , quo he , How my misfortunes vanquish'd me ; And made me look so like a beast , For being nimbler than the rest . AEneas could not chuse but smile ; Grieve not , quo he , at Fortune vile ; For here is thy reward ; with that He gave him a most precious Hat , Of damask silk , it was notorious . For Feather and for work so curious . By Didimaon wrought so neat ; Quoth Nisus then , by Mahomet I 'le weare thy hat both morn and noon-day , On every Holiday and Sunday . He lyes in 's throat , that shall miscall Our Captain , that 's so liberal . The Race thus finish'd without squabling , All anger laid aside and brabling , The Racers well content and merry ; My masters Time for none will tarry ; So said AEneas , the Minheer , Besides , quo he , bring Cestus here . Now you must know what Cestus was ; A plaguy Poultice for weak jaws : A little touch with a weak hand , And presently a man was brain'd : A certain cursed Castanet For men to dance the broken pate . Two Iron Brickbats , each a Ring ; Which he that best can weild and swing , To pound his Adversaries Pole , Was vanquisher of body and soul. To this same sport , that so men mauls , AEneas his Companions calls . Quo he , the man that has the heart For a prize that is not worth a fart , To venture brains , or loss of lymb , Let him come purchase my esteem . The Victors prize shall be a Cow With forehead plated you know how : With plates of silver and of gold , And linnen vaile about her should - Ers , white , and delicately starch'd , Like woman going to be Church'd . Besides an instrument of death , Eclep'd a sword , in Ivory sheath . And eke a Morrion , none oth'worst . Some said , he would have given that first ; But then considering again , If he gave one he must give twain , They saw it was the wisest plot . For purse was his , the limbs were not . When any one is bruis'd enough , Quo he , and wishes to leave off ; Let him while he his hands can use , Hold up his hand , or cry Kings scruce ; If hands be maul'd confoundedly , Bid some good friend that standeth by . Thus said the Cestus was brought out At sight whereof like one devout They lookt with setled countenance , The view on 't put 'em in a trance . So that for all his cunning coaxing None seem'd to love this kind of boxing . At length not fearing Lymb nor torture Dares appears , a vast Wine-Porter , Who only could hold Paris tack , At this same play makes others cack . Who for to honour the memory Of valiant Hector had the glory . With this abominable weapon To knock down Butes like a Capon . The best that ever was at cuffing , Without a Ly or any huffing . Amyclus vast in strength and burden , And always bred at the Beargarden , Begot this Butes on a whore , That was half woman , half a mare . When Dares did himself present , It bred a great astonishment , His shoulders to behold , all bones , As big and stronger than Milstones ; His Arms were rather Bull-eonfounders ; In Paper-Mills you see such pounders . Now the Goliah's strength was all , As for his brains they were but small ; You would have laught to'have seen the noddy To shew his mighty strength of body , How he did vainly cuff the Air. Boreas himself did not come near ; And swung about his brawnie wrists , To shew what he could do with 's fists . And when h 'had done , to see the Looby How h'a faign'd to girn , like a great booby . Sa , Sa , quo he , what is there none Will let me break nor shin , nor bone . What nere a Knight that has a mind , To loose his eyes , and to be blind ? This furious challenge was so dismall , That not a man would venture his mall . Trojans , Sicilians , all were dumb , As if th 'had felt the weight of 's thumb . Their Hector's now not worth a fart , As if th 'had neither souls nor heart . Quo Dares , then the Cow is mine , To day how bravely will I dine . For who to Cow hath right more full Than I that am so like a bull ? With that he took the precious Beast By both the horns upon her Crest . Bawling so loud , tell he was hoarse , Who of ye all now by main force , In hopes to eat a gallant supper With fist can Cow set on her Crupper ? Chickens by Iove , you handle Cestus ? You kiss mine Arse . He●-Captain Festus ( For so he call'd AEneas jeering , ) Must I stay here all day Pickeering ? As if I 'had nothing else to choose , But here stand making Childrens shoos . Till some fond Caponet shall come , To be made Gelly by my thumb ? Find me a match that will contest , Or let me carry away the Beast . At which one mad , what ayles that fellow ? What ayles , quo he , that Bull to bellow ? Why so much raving , so much tearing ? Wee 'l match his cock , for all his swearing . Acestes through the Rabble flung , As if a wasp his tayl had stung ; Cud boars , quo he , shall such a thief With pain so little get our beef ? Fuming he goes to seek Entellus , Whom , of such language nothing jealous , He found stretch'd out upon a banck , Smoaking Iamayca , cursed ranck ; Ye Logger head , quo he , is this A time to sleep and smoak , I wiss ? When all our honours ly at stake ? Pox o' your drowsie hide — come — wake , — And shew how thou in times of yore , Hast cudgel'd many a lusty boar . Hast thou forgot the prancks and the tricks Which thou were wont to play with Eryx ? Eryx thy Master at this game ? To whom thou second art in fame . Cuts-foot ! shall daring Dares quell us ? While we have living brave Entellus . How many spoiles of Butchers bones Of Weavers Arms , and Dyers stones Hang in thy Chimney up like bacon ? Of thy renown the certain token ? For shame then let not this wind-sucker , At our disgrace thus sneer and snicker . Quoth he , thy words are positive . T is not for fear as now I live , That Dares thus I let alone ; But I am old aud feeble grown . Were I as young as I ha bin , This Raskal that makes such a din I 'de pounce him so , that you should see , I 'de make him soon cry me mer-cie , To Cow or Calf without regard , The slender motive of reward ; Only for glories sake , ere this , I 'had made him stink for fear , or piss . That this is truth ye know full well Yet that you may not take it ill , To shew I speak not words , but deeds ; I 'le try one bout at Loggerheads . If I am beaten , say t is Age , And no defect of my courage . Streight he flung down of dismal batterie Two fatal Engines , not to flatter ye , Nor yet to chafe your wanton Nerves , But for to stamp ye like conserves . Little they said , meant plaguely ; Their very aspect made men flee . Dares himself , to tell you true , Likt'em so ill , he look't askew . For they had on them fearful stains , Of Eryx blood , and part of 's brains . Eryx who meeting at an Alehouse , With Hercules of 's honour jealous , Streight fell to blows , from blows to knooks , The least of which would kill an Ox. What Eryx got by 't , truely I Think he might well put in his eye . His eye ! alas had there been less put , They then had living had the Toss-pot . Dares beholding such damn'd trophies , Think ye that Dares such an Oaf is , Quo he , to venture life in field , With weapons that he cannot weild . AEneas thinking t was a scandal , The mortal Engines needs would handle , But when he felt their weight , quo he , The Devil handle'em for me ▪ Seav'n folded Ox-hides stuft with lead , Some half a Tun in each , they said , With iron hoops and dev'lish nails , Such as you see about Cart-wheeles . Crossing himself , then said AEneas , Per omnes meretrices meas , What hideous Tartar with a vengeance Invented first these fatal Engins ? Puh ! quoth Entellus ; these are feathers ; Those with which Hercules strapt the Gathers Of my friend Eryx , ( peace be with him , ) And sent unto the Elysian frith him , Were twice as big , and yet the Lubbers Would weild those mighty Noddle-rubbers As nimbly at each others coxcombs , As they had been but little box-combs . For my part cryes Entellus surder , I likes this well , I 'me cleare for murder . But yet to shew I 'me gamester fair too , If he 'l have other , there they are too , I 'le fight with any , ere spoyl play . And ye shall cap me , as they say , If at a blow or two at least , You guess , not who shall have the Beast . Then cry'd AEneas drunck with joy , Troth godamercy brave old Boy . Bring me a pair of Maul cheeks hither ; But not so heavy as the other : Others were brought , and after tryal , Approv'd without the least denyal , Both for their bigness and their huffing , By Doctors in the Art of cuffing . One takes Entellus ; t'other Dares , Saying a hundred Ave-Maries : For it had almost turn'd his stomak ; Entellus shape did such a shew make . Such shoulders , Buttocks , bones so hideous , A Chine so nervous , brest prodigious . For to say truth he nothing hid ; Both shirt and coat were layd aside . If shirt he had , for else you know , What he had not , he could not shew ; And in matter of such weight Men must be cautious to speak right : For if he had no shirt , and I , Do say he had , I tell a ly . But now behold'em in their traces , Making wry mouths and Monkey-faces , They dance Step stately to take aim , Who first should give the first damn'd main . At first they slightly seem'd to skirmish , But straightway fury growing warmish , One gives the other plaguy palt , Which was return'd the next assault : Young Dares was more nimbly stout , Entellus was the stronger Lout . With weapons pois'd , and fists erect , With burning eyes and fierce aspect , They now lay on sans feare or wit , As if they car'd not where they hit . Their Lungs are tir'd and breath in vain , Their naked Members pant amain . Such force have bumping blows apply'd , To Diaphragma , or the side , Secundum artem , as they knew , To make men vomit black and blew . Sometimes a loving blow did miss , Then t'other was not griev'd I wiss . Streight you might hear his guts cry twang , And t'others skul ring with the bang . While all his reason takes her flight , T 'had been no reason else , by this light . Sometimes with stroaks strook unawares , They only rub each others ears . Dares with many a nimble leap , At old Entellus head doth skip - Unweildy he stands stiff and tough , Without recoyling from the cuff . While Dares with a dreadful eye , Stood watching his huge Enemy . Woe worth that rib which he shall find , But once ungarded to his mind ) As men that Walls and Castles batter , Seeke weakest place to make 'em torter , And having found what they intended , With all their fury thither bended . Mauling and battering their insistunt , Though th 'had as good perhaps a pist on 't . Thus Dares watching still for harm , Caught from the bold Entellus Arm , Such a damn'd lick athwart the back , As made his very bum-strings crack . Dares , but how the Devil't t was done , Is past my apprehension , Returns him such a thumping quitt , As for his quo , 't was out of debt . These blowes each equalled in stress , Some twenty pounds or little less . And Virgil saies in his relation , That the through force and indignation With which Entellus strook and mist , His aged Trunck the Grass-plot kist . That he fell down all hands agree , Let them that doubt the truth go see . And more than that too a shrew'd signe , They say he fell like mighty Pine. There lay the huge Entellus sprawling : For joy the Trojans fell a bawling ; While he enraged at the flounce , Doth all his Gods at once renounce . Acestes and AEneas brave , Both willing the old man to save , Where er'e they had it , got a Crane , And so they cran'd him up again ; Being got upon his heeles once more , Six lustie Common oaths he swore , Though for his manners such a sot , That all his thanks he quite forgot . Having recover'd now his place , With rage in heart , and shame in face Finding what ere he yet had done , But fleabites in comparison . Quo he , now let him look to his hittings , By Iove I 'le handle him without mittins . Poor Dares was in great dejection , Seeing Entellus Resurrection . He that before thought worst was past , Seeing his foe so rudely cast , And therefore sang his nunc dimittis , Now at the end of all his wit is . There was no way but guard to keep , Better h'd been in 's bed asleep . T'other lay's on cuff after cuff , Not minding whither 's skin be buff . His bended clutches damn'd Memento , Make flying Dares daunce Coranto's Entellus bounty fell like hail , Not sparing either head or tayl . Dares afraid his reasons house ( Though he had scarce so much as goose ) About his batter'd ears should tumble , Was half ith'mind in manner humble . To crave in time a Letter of Licence . He lik't not banging sans defeizance . While t'other labors all he can To make a window to his brain . Dares was in condition sad , His face was swell'd big as his head , His head was swell'd as big as his hat , And he himself just falling flat Upon his bloody bruised nose ; When all in hast AEneas throws Himself between the blowes so thick : Good faith 't was well he came ith'nick . For had he had but one more thwack Upon his head or his Sto — mack Dares had given the Crows a pudding ; And Death had come before his Wedding . For now Entellus Clawes were up , And falling just was fatal swop . But just in time AEneas spruce , And brave Acestes cry'd , Kings scruce . With coaxing words AEneas mellows The bloudy heart of vex'd Entellus . Good Sir quo , he your wrath forbear , Man stout at Cuffs , as ere stole Deere , Next time shall Dares learn more manners Then let his wits be his Trappanners , Thus to provoke a man whose wrists Can powder Rocks of Amethists ; With nailes like fleas crack Adamants ; And puff down Armed Elephants . These gentle words made Gaffer Thwacksides Most patiently lay by his Ox-hides . Such credit had AEneas there , Quo he , your will be done Menheire . Then Sir AEneas , turning face To him that was in doubtful case ; So bruis'd and batter'd , and so swel'd , ( He scarse could stand unless upheld ) Made him to the best of my memory , This pithy speech consolatory . Holding him gently in his arms , Quo he thou needs not others harms , For well thy own , without a book , Now teach thee with both eyes to look Before thou leapst , and not to venture , Before thou knew'st thy bold Attempter . Had not thy Foe been very handsome , He had destroy'd thee without Ransome . For now confess and speak as true man , Do you beleive his hand was human ? As sure as thou wert bang'd to day , He keeps the Devil himself in pay . Therefore , if legs will beare thee , go , Weake boxer of the driving snow , Go get a Surgeon , Noble Festus , And dream no more of pounding Cestus . The poor young knave all soare with banging His neck upon his shoulders hanging , Eyes sunck in a black quag of butter , Or flesh well churm'd , few words could utter . But softly cry'd to show's respects , Farewell Sir , till I see you next . He could no more in Prose nor Rhyme , Not had he courage at that time To bring his fingers to his chin To see what teeth remain'd within . His beard was all bedaub'd to see a With a damn'd soul Haimoragia . The place where Nose stood , you might know it But nere take hold on 't for to blow it . The Trojans they came all to much him , He wish'd'em damn'd that did but touch him . For so his batter'd Corps did smart , That every touch went to his heart . Then Dares two Companions chose , To comfort up his broken Nose . But both the Crown and eke the beast . Entellus got by dint of fist . Who now like toad on washing-block , With conquest swell'd , thus gan to mock . Weak Trojan fops both young and old That enviously this day behold The Victory that I have won ; Come see what more I could have done , See against what a firking foe , Your Dares stript from top to toe ! Had ye not drag'd his Homo-Plater From our inevitable slaughter . You should have seen how I had rub'd him , And mong the Devils belly bub'd him . This said his furious fist he clutch'd , And twixt the horns so rudely touch'd . The Bulls head that from head of Bull Came brains and blood a Kettle full . So died the Cow without adiew , Or making will in minutes few . Then with a heart full of repentance , And mind prepar'd forpious sentence , He cry'd beholding the blew skie , With doleful face and blubbring eye . Eryx , to thee , my Counter-part , I give this Bull with all my heart , For Dares sake , who has my prayers The best of living Cudgel — players . Here will I Chappel build , or Pest-house Where horns shall hang and eke my Cestus . If Dares dy here shall he be Entombed likewise , close by me . No question we shall then agree . They that Entellus saw turn'd Priest , Yet knew he was a damn'd Atheist , Rais'd such a shout at his conversion , As shook the Earth like Ague tertian . So long this hubbub did continue , 'T was fear'd that some would break a sinew . Which made AEneas in compassion , And for another dirty fashion , Which was to have no shouting known , At any speeches but his own . Enough quo he , enough I say ; How long must I hear Asses bray ? I 'de rather a had a pack of knaves , Than such a crew of simple slaves . Enough this curs'd Cow killing sport , There 's none but one the better for 't ; Come bring me out your Bows and Arrows And if ye needs will kill , kill sparrows . Thus having got some good Companions , All in a row like ropes of Onions , Quo he bring hither Galley Mast , And set it me upright and fast ; First having ty'd at top of it , A Pigeon , or a Clout beshit , It matters not so mark be hit . The lots were thrown into a hat , Or Helmet , 't is the same thing that : At which they fum'd like a hot tost , To see that Fortune rul'd the rost : For each one fear'd to be put out From being one should hit the clout . AEneas said he 'd have but four ; And who durst say then , he 'd ha more , But four then drawing , stone-blind Chance Ilippocoons Honour did advance . A fatal murderer of wild-Ducks , A foe profest to Dawes and Rooks ; The second fool whom fortune favours Was Mister Mnesteus , a Sea-Mavors , Whose head with Olive had been crown'd , For swimming well , and not being drown'd . Of whom I shall say little more , Since I have said so much before . Master Eurytian was the third ; He 'd hit a Curran in a turd . Which made him cry'd up for an Archer . His brother yet was much the archer ; His brother Pandarus , wot ye well , Who taking bow of pliant steel , Without so much as one bear leave , The Cuckold Menelaus gave Such a dam'd prick through buttocks each , That Helen nere so claw'd his breech . Acestes was the last forsooth , Who although old , with so much Youth Would needs contest for skill and strength ; What he got by 't you 'l know at length . Hippocoon his goggle eyes Casting a thousand times to the skies , First hit the top oth'mast , I trow : A lower shot , had been below : The bird with that affrighted , try'd T' have flown away , but she was ty'd . And so she only flapt the Ayr ; He did no more as I can hear ; While bird thus flutter'd on the wing , Menestheus shoots and cuts the string : Whether the bird , do you now think , That but ere while for fear did stinck , Now finding Leve to be light , Did not make hast to mend her flight . But shame on all Ill luck say I , That faster then a bird will fly , For as the Bird was on the wing , Eurytion snapt his fatal string : Though ere he drew , he made a prayer , To Brother Pandarus in his ear , The which his brother soon did heare . And so as bird was tripping off , ( Not dreaming but she had been safe ) The Arrow peirc'd her pretty rump , And made her turn up belly trump . 'T was then no time to take advice How to avoid the fatal slice ; Streight with a vengeance down she come , Like one that feard not bruising bum . He that the day came after fair Was now Alcestes , by compare . Ther 's nothing left for that old fop , Less he would set his own head up . But what said the Facetious Drole , Quo he I 'le not be made a fool , Suppose that yonder sate an Owle , Where bird was ty'd ; why may not I My brother hit ? by Iove I 'le try . He drew , but wonderful to see His dart became a prodigie . A prodigie that friz'd the hair Of every mortal that was there . 'T was here a dart , but mounting higher I' th air becomes a flame of fire . Like whizzing Rocket up it goes Had Owl been there , ' thad sing'd his nose . Or else as Pub. says better far , Like volant or crinited starr . In English certain flying jigs , Or stars with flaming Perriwigs . The flame continued while it could , That is to say while there was wood , But fewel wanting due recruite , The fire went out without dispute . Upon the whimsical adventure Was many a thousand peradventure ; A hundred strange Enthusiasms ; Lights new as that , and fond phantasms The most renowned Augurs ply'd Their painful studies , and discry'd A thousand stories and keck shoes , To lead the doubtful by the noses . The Phrygian Conjurers could not rest Sicilian Bards were all possest . Nay all the Rabble had a maggot , Bigger in head the stick of faggot . AEneas in a pious frolick Pulls from his neck a certain relick ▪ It was a chain of gold , at which , There hung a medal very rich . 'T was all of broyld St. Lawrence left , And gravd upon an Agat haft ; To that annext in Christal hung The very Cole that burnt Saint's tongue . Thus gifted came he to Acestes ; Great Sir , to you my deep protest is , That for an Archer there was none Was ever fit to wipe your shoon . Who would the Devil himself not blame , Not having seen , to credit fame ? For who can think that did not see , That thou couldst little bit of tree In th'Ayr at distance come to fire , By Iove it maketh me admire . Fore George , as I am come of woman , Iove owes thee kindness more than common . As for my part , the heavens protect thee , Like my dead father I respect thee , And than my Mother ten times better , If now I ly , then hell me fetter . What though the prises all be gon , Thou shalt have presents of our own , To satisfy for thy ill luck , That mark so surely from thee took . With that he made him three low leggs And gave him the foremention'd jigs . And more then all that , something more , ( Which I it seems forgot before . ) A goblet of a massie weight , A work emboss'd most accurate , This cup so trimm'd with fine devices Was for a fairing , sent Anchises By Cissus a good friend of his , Who living , Club did never miss ; But being dead , yet every night , In dear remembrance of old Knight , Anchises made the Goblet weep , Till both forgot , he fell asleep To make the Ceremony stanch , He Crown'd him with an Olive branch ; A most exceeding favour that , Because he seldom wore his hat . Eurytion nothing envious To see him first rewarded thus , AEneas wisdom did approve ; AEneas thank't him for his love , And gave him eke a good reward ; For civil men by civil regard To generous spirits , seldom loose . Menestheus had his old shooes . Hippocoon two nutmegs guilt : For where the text imploys a guilt , By mentioning no gifts at all ; We judge the gifts were very small . From Archerie to Horsmanship They next proceed with spur and whip . Epirides the first appear'd With chin conceal'd in monstrous beard ; He was Ascanius Padagouge . A most austere ars-firking dog But yet esteem'd as learn'd a Sir John , As ere was bred up at the Sorbon . He could compose a Catch or Cannon , And verses make with George Buchannan . Native of Rion in Auvernia , But plagu'd with a diseafe call'd Hernia . Soon as he came before his betters He shewd himself a man of Letters , Making a hundred ugly scrapes , Like Scholar that the Courtier apes . AEneas soon as one could wake him , Spies formal fool , and thus bespake him ; Epirides where 's my Cock-Robin ? Will he a while leave placket-bobbing , And for a Steed leave riding wenches ? Then give him Horse fit for his inches . Where 's all the other younger fry , Have they their Coursers fit to fly , To let the world know by their fooling ; Their parents gave'em no mean schooling ? Go quickly then and fetch 'em all : Epirides with legs so smal And Thighs as dry as Kixes , though As swift as arrow out of bow , Made so much hast , that some protest , He leapt full thirty foot at least , At every leap ; for such men fly Always , when th' are in Masters eye . Returning like the flowing surges , With a whole troop of young St. Georges . They were as plump , and loo'd as fairly As hogs , that ly all day i th' Barly . Their Horses like a several bride , Both necks and tayles with Ribands ty'd . Inn's a Court gentlemen all they were , And every one a sling did weare . Not to sling love-songs cross the way , But slugs and stones in deadly fray . Arrows and Bows did others weare , Which Parents gave at Bartholmew Fair. For then were no such things to smoak ye , As fierce Dragooners under Okey . But others like your French gens d'armes , Had Spears and Lances for their Armes . Their right paws were in Gantlets cas'd , And roaring feathers hats embrac'd . About their necks they Cuirass had , Of double guilded Lattin made . Some for right mettle did them hold ; But all that glisters is not gold . Three Captains lead three neat squadrons , With Scarfs of Lindsey Woolsey Aprons , For in three squadrons were the Chuffs , Distinguished one by Spanish Ruffs . The next were hats with Steeple-Crowns , The third the Switzers Bonnet ownes . One of these Chiefs that was no dastard , Of poor Politus was the Bastard . The younger son of Priamus , Who knockt down Neoptolemus ; In Pages Trouzes up he mounts , A Carriers horse , by all accounts , But such a one , that dress him well Would clear outrun the Divel of Hell. And sooner would he leap a River , Than some a Cart-rut should get over . The next to him was Asys hight , Iulus love , and sole delight . Though to be plain , if all tales are true , More for his tayl , than for his vertue . What Horse he had , Gelding or Mare , Virgil is pleas'd to speak to spare , But questionless the trade he drove , Got him well mounted for his Love. Some men admire why such a one , Is favour'd by a mighty Don ; But search the grass well with your eyes , And you shall see where the Snake lies . Ascane as young , lastin degree , Was yet the first in quality . His gaudy coat and feather'd hat Made all the people cry , who 's that ? But far beyond his glittring garb , His Courser was a Chestnut Barb. Not such a shap'd or nimble steed , Did all the fields of Siden breed . 'T was Didos guift , though when she made it , Had she known all , he ner'e had had it . This Horse was only fit to show On Whitsun-holidays or so ; He was a perfect Ram for Capring ; And many a Knight for all his vap'ring , Unless he held fast by his Crest , Would put him in danger of his Chest. But let him all his jades tricks try , Run Valley low , or Mountain high . Or play the Divel on all four , Iulus sate him like a Tower , So well he govern'd hand and foot , As he had been George Castriot , Or one of Don of Austria's Riders ; Which he 's a Coxcomb that considers . For all the other meaner squires Acestes common Hackneys hires . Geldings for some , for others Mares , With Fillies pricking up their ears . The Trojans clapt their hands by dozens , Seeing the Children of their Cousens . Here some of whom they knew the Mothers , There some their own , though got by others , And every one as fine as fippence , And and all prepar'd to run for thrippence . See youth , cries one , on yonder Mare , Mothers n'own boy , both lip and haire 'T was pretty thus to hear'um read , How living face was like the dead . Such pretty cheeks with pretty dimples , You shall not see in both the Temples . Though then they look'd a little whitish , For fear least Courser should prove skittish . At length when every pretty Elf Had in his Saddle fix'd himself . Epirides with nimble flack , Makes whipcord briskly cry smack-smack . At which they all alarum take ; Far better , than their Steeds , divining By sound of whip-cord , Pedants meaning . Streight the three squadrons they divide In bodies two , or Maro ly'd . Some fly away , while some pursue , And at their backs with switches flew . But feeling smart , make head again , Ribrosting t'others for their pain . Weary of being thus lambasted , Eft-soons to milder sport they hasted . Here three to three , there two to two , There more , ( hey toss what 's here to do ! ) They prance and frisk it to and fro ; Foe runs in full career at foe ; When to accord the sturdy knee , And skil ful trip , with Hait or Gee , ( Which horses learn without much trouble ) In full career they make a double ; So Huntsmen say ; but Horsemen , turn ; Turn let it be then , for I scorn Much contradiction ; that 's to say , They did as girls that dance the Hay . These pretty Turn-again-Whittingtons , Made by these Gentlemens eldest sons Their cross careirs , Turns whole and half , Which Father made and Mother laugh , Were like the Labyrinth so pretty , Once fram'd by Daedalus the witty , To Minos Sarjeant-Carpenter . Within whose walls as men did err , Or go astray , or vainly wander , Not knowing tricks of gay Meander ; So these young sprouts of Troy renown'd , Sometimes their Horses turning round , Now running in a streight careir . And sometimes doubling here and there , Like nimble Dolphins seem'd to play , Like Dolphins in the Lybic Sea. When Boreas bold , thank Boreas for 't , Is pleas'd not to disturb their sport . Then out comes Fleabit and Tregonnel And hey for Strawberrie , that last won all . Some run for Crowns , and some for Guinies , The cunning Jockies cheat and punies . But last of all , that which was most , They rais'd a most confounded dust . And thus you see these youths so cranck Shew'd Parents many a pretty pranck Which afterwards Iulus , He That founded Albas fair Citee . Becoming King most powerful , Did recommend by special Bull , Unto his Race of Romans bold , For to observe and eke to hold , As sacred to their fathers names , By Title of the Trojan Games . And thus you see what slight occasions Men take sometimes to Cajole Nations While wise AEneas thus imployes , His time in gaping upon boyes , Fortune , who being of Greek extraction , ( And therefore of the Grecian faction ) Hated a Trojan at her heart ; Resolves to shew him to his smart , Another of her plaguy dog-tricks , Iuno , old Priam's dear Exec'trix , More full of mischief than a Page , Plump as a Tike with female rage , To trusty Gossip , Iris hies , A practis'd bitch in telling lies , Iuno her mind did soon impart , Which Iris had as soon by heart , Quo she , for words there needs no pumping , I know your meaning by your mumping : So brib'd with promises and dollars She flung an old scarf ore her Colours ; Away she cuts her airy passage , To prosecute her damn'd Ambassage . And as she went , her legs she shews , Full neatly clad in crimson hose Well garter'd too , above the knee , As they affirm , that both did see . Slow was her pace , for being plump She fear'd to fret her tender rump . From Arcady , without a wherry , She quickly crost the Ocean ferry . And cause the Road was straight and free , She was not long from Sicily , Where she beheld , in Armor glittering The lazy Trojans scaperloytring The Fleet was left like Theif in Mill , Or to be gon , or stay , at will. Nor Dog to bark , nor boy to baul , What ever danger should befall ; Both boys and dogs were all ago To see my Lord AEneas show . The women by themselves afar , Were private from these acts of warr As 't were in publick hugger mugger , Clawing away the sack and Sugar , Till crying ripe , the wine intices Some to bewail defunct Anchises . While others at misfortnune wept ; Well well-quo one , time was I kept As good a house for East-cheap beef , As she that was Church-Wardens wife ; And for good Pewter and for Brass And dining Room rub'd with a gloss , I had as good as most i th' Parish Though some perhaps might make more flourish How long shall Ladies nice of stomack Be forc'd to ly in swabbers Hamock ? How long shall women bred so squeamish ? Ly nose in ars midst Hogo's flemmish ? Others that were more finely Maudlin Call'd poor AEneas Goose and Codlin , Come , come , I love to speak , cries one , There 's Captain turd , let him alone , Let him but drink while he can see , He cares not what betides poor we , He crams his guts as at a wedding , While we are glad of hasty pudding . Where is the City that he promis'd ? I doubt I shall be ana — tomiz'd . Ere that day come : he might ha 'had Cities enough , would he have staid ; But he would needs have to'ther toss . Your rowling stones ne're gather moss . While cups and tongues thus fast do move , As both for nimbleness had strove , Iris that saw their drunken posture . Quits shape divine betokning moisture ; With staff in hand , on eyes spectacles , Like wife of Doricles , her self she tackles , And old Witch that had liv'd so long , She had forgot that she was young , For the reversion of whose joynture , The fifteenth race had cry'd , God Saint her . Though she were old , yet she was subtle , And to the purpose well could prattle . My Grannam Berce she was hight , Though dark with age , the Ages light . Mischievous Iris in this form Appears in midst of all the Chirm , To whom as soon as she could make , 'Em hold their clacks these words she spake , Poor women , Poor unhappy women ! Companions only now for Seamen , How long with grief must ye contend , Oh where shall be your sorrows end ? Had ye not better that the Dolopps Had long since cut ye into Collops ? Then from vexation of your souls Y 'had lain secure among the Moles . Rather than thus to live at Sea Half dead with hunger every day : Your hands that fanns did only dandle , Now forc'd the rugged Oar to handle , Distress'd inhabitants of Pinnaces . To whom the Sea destruction menaces . That live in boats , where ticks and fleas , Without respect of persons seize : Rather then lead a life so fell , Women had better live in Hell. 'T is now seaven years , or little less That you in cold and heats distress , Poor wrinkled weather beaten Madams Lead by the noses like Iack Adams , In vain do hunt the flying shore , Which Fate has promis'd ten times ore ; A tale that I shall nere believe , Nor pin my faith upon her sleeve . Let her go on and vainly coax Our credulous leader , Iohn , Anoaks . A quartan Ague stop his Lungs . For him we have endur'd these wrongs ; But here 's anow , le ts have a care : Why can't we tarry where we are ? What ailes this Country ? t is both good And Govern'd by our flesh and blood . Let 's build a Town among our kindred , Our freind Acestes nere will hinder't ▪ There we may play our wanton tricks , Not subject to the Oceans freaks . Our Country Gods I pity too , Han't they a fine time ? what think you ? Snatch't from the rage of Grecian Robbers . To be made Cabin-boys and Swobbers Fools ! can we hope for so much joy , Ere to revisit your old Troy ? Or Symois , fam'd for Morehens plenty ? Or Xanthus nere of Gudgeons emptie ? Then let 's go burn those pocky Vessels ; That are not fit to harbour Weasels . This night my candle burning blew , Cassandras Ghost my Currains drew , Quo she , why wander ye like Tartars ? In Sicily take up your quarters . What will ye always live like Barnacles ? That may have Towns like Athens , or Naples . Always be swimming on the Seas , Like VVidgeons or like Soland Geese ? Burn then those fly-boats , why d' ye tarry ? If husbands chafe , ye have your Lurry . Behold four Altars newly rais'd Where sacrifices lately blaz'd . To Neptune for some curtesies , VVhere fire enough in Embers lies : Find you but hearts , the Gods find flames , Courage then , thrice Immortal Dames . Take leave of damn'd seafaring trade , And of the ships make a Grilliade Be you but bold , I don't say cruel , The Gods find fire , and yonder 's fuel . This having said the plaguy strumpet , Takes up a brand , and stead of trumpet , Blowes the hot coal , to wake the flame , Go then , she cry'd i th' Devils name . VVith that so swift she flung the brand , As sent it soon to journeys end . And where as soon , it was apparent He dally'd not to tell his arrant . Dames , that before nere saw such jigs , Began to stare like roasted Pigs ; They star'd so long you would have thought Their very eyes would have dropt out . They knew not what to think or say , For all the stuff they had , there lay . Here soft compassion to her Kettle , There pity'd pinner stops her mettal . Another gins her cheeks to wet , In mercy to her Cabinet . At length steps up an ancient Matron , That Priamus by strings of Apron , Had often lead , as being one , Had nurs'd him many a Girl and Son ; Whom she their Primars also taught , And firkt their royal tayls for naught . This venerable peice of Age Hight Pyrgo , more than Midwife sage ; With voice like Kitten , when it mews , Thrusting her neck out like a Goose , Quo she , let 's not be over hasty , To credit Beroe , she 's too too testy . Come , come my friends , I know what 's what , And I must tell ye — I smell a Rat. She Beroe , shee 's a lying slut ; She 's no more Beroe , than my Scut . Alas poor Beroe's sick a bed , Scarce an hower since I drest her head . And then she swore the Devil take her , That there was nothing worse did make her ; Then that she could not come to sip , And chat with us and smoke her pipe ; 'T is not for want of Love or Grace , She came not hither to say mass For old Anchise in purgatorie . But her old age , which makes me sorry . To see her made a stalking horse And that for mischief , which is worse , No , no , this wench i th' Devils name , Is come from Heav'n from Iove's good dame . Her Armpits smel of Rosemary , Which strongly prove divinity . Her lively aire , and feet's proceeding , And eke her voice speak heav'nly breeding To little purpose thus spoke Pyrgo : For not one soul believ'd her — Ergo. Yet in respect to female Wizard , They stood a while twixt hauk and buzzard . They liked well Sicilian plains , But Fate had so be whim'd their brains With windmils they should have in Latium , Which for the present much did dash'em . Iris that had no mind to dally Seeing'em thus stand shally shally , Streightway her self disberoiz'd , And in true shape re-Deitiz'd , She through a cloud her bow displays , And on her wings , with heavenly grace , A whole and even course she steers ; Then in a moment disappears . There was no need of doing more , The Trojan women now give ore , And now like boys in fields of Moor , That go to pillage Baud and Whore ; In Troops most fiercely diabolic , They take in hand their cursed Frolic . Like people mad , or stark possest , Acting what only rage thought best . They sack and pillage Neptunes Altars , As if they nere had read their Psalters ; Fate kiss their tayls , and for AEneas , They count him but a silly flea as . By these fierce Queans thus arm'd with fire In hand and tayl and upper tire . The Galleys kindled look like Torches . , The flames are not for Spanish Marches , But rather a la mode de France , From Rope to rope they nimbly prance . The Turk himself upon the Ropes , Nere shew'd such strange Curvets and hops . The Ropes they eat for Sausages And on the Sails for Tripes they seize . They drest'em not in Cook-room though , But eat the Cookroom up also ; Yet could not master all , be 't known , They left the Furnace as a bone . Down to the water they eat all , But would not drink because ' twa● small : Flames nere so thirsty , understand ye , No liquors love , but Wine and Brandy . Eumelus all in hast comes posting , To see what Women were a roasting ; The flames did so their business handle , That he might see without a candle , The matter was too too transparent , And so he quickly had his errant : Back he returns with horrid din , But nimble sparks too fleet for him Had told before how stood affairs ; Alarum'd by those Messagers , The people all make to the shore : Ascane a horseback gets before ; Damn'd jades quo he the Devil confound ye ; But fires your friend , the Devil drown'd ye . What witchcraft thus possest ye all , To burn our ships both great and small ? A madness Graecian rage outstrips , They burnt our houses , left our ships . The pox possess and burn ' you next , A crew of whores , that Hell perplext , And sent from thence a plague to us . Was ever Treason black as this ? Consuming now our boats and ropes , Y'have burnt the last of our hopes . Accursed Bitches , with black souls , Blacker then are your own made Coles . Whore's only fit to be strappado'd , And back and belly bastonadod . Y'have brought me here with such a flutter , That I have almost broke my crupper , Besides the loss of all my sport , Hell take your plaguy bon-fire sor't . This having said , with fury tost , Like a blind man that staff had lost , He threw his cap so hard toth'ground , As made it back to 's hand rebound . AEneas like a Lacquie puffing , Comes in at length swearing and huffing ; He look't like one besides his wits , Tore his Montero all to bits ; But when the whole he understands , He falls a gnawing both his hands ; Then in a passion out he roars , Where are these jades , these plaguy whores ! Incarnate Devils , I 'le quit their scores . But cunning bitches once the feat Being done had , sounded a retreat ; Whip they were gon forsooth to piss , So general the engagement is ; That you might sooner cut your throat , Than see a Smock or Peticoat ; They had all found Daughter and Mother In Rocks or Sands some hole or other . Some in the next Woods refuge take , For all their Arses buttons make , Seeing the Jades prancks they had plaid , For Iris then they backward pray'd . And spending on Iuno in Follies free , Of Billings-gate Artillery . More mad at her that drell'd'em in , And jeeres 'em now out of their skin , But still the Vessels they burn on , Till massie Timber's almost gon . Wise work i'faith for bearded Chins , To leave their Ketches at thirteen's . The colking made so thick a smoak , As would a Chimney-Sweeper choak . Hero's like fools stood gaping on ; But all their strength was useless grown . AEneas being sore distrest , To see the Devil make such a Feast , Bedaub'd and plaister'd with despair Clawes his white skin and tears his hair , To see his ships where hopes rely'd By durty drabs so fricassy'd . He tore his garments all he had Which made his smirking Taylor glad . And then his hairy brest he shewed All scabby to the multitude ; At length with voice of dying man , He cross'd his Arms , and thus spoke on . O Jove of whom I never fail , To speak kind words , though in my Ale. Ay me behold this fatal blaze , Such nere befel in all your days ; For give me leave to let you know so , Troys fire to this , was but a so , so ; If you have any kindness for 's , And that grey Mare ben't better Horse ; If there be any smooth Bordachio That does affect your smooth Mustachio , I mean , mong us , let me be him , I 'le strive to please ye with my limb . You shall have with me , bate extortion , An ample younger brothers portion : If this be pleasing to your Grace Laugh not but weep , lend weeping face , And all the tears that you can shed On ships with flames invironed ; Damn'd Sempstresses wou'd they were whipt , Have all our grand affairs unript ; And therefore pour L'amour de dieu Give us some Rain or else some snow ; They 'l be more welcome now , good sooth , Then showers in Harvest after drouth : Rain pailfuls therefore for a spurt Else I 'le not give thee sixpence for 't ; You have a Sun , that with his bucket Knowes up again well how to pluck it . Sometimes ye rain down hei ! ding dong , Giving your water for a song . That Holland felt , nor drap de berry , Are able to withstand the ferry . And when we pray but for Ale quart , Thou giv'st us Winchester , measure for 't : Then if thou lov'st me , deare Iove , rain , Rain for thy life and fill the main , Till like a piss pot it run ore ; Never came rain to purpose more . Give our your ships that are so hot all , But one kind dram of thy full bottle . AEneas had no sooner ended , But a vast deluge straight descended : Showers did not fall , but rather Rivers , The Trojans look't like Cornish divers : AEneas wash'd , be gan to scowl , Though but just now , his very soul He would have pawn'd for but one brimmer ; The Gods could hardly please his humour . To tell ye how fine feathers lookt Like Capons tayles , how scarfs bemuck't Had chang'd their Curious glossie hues , Or the sad fate of Calves-skin shoos , T is needless quite , for you may guess ; But 's ships were in a better case ; For fire and water falling out , The water hap't to be most stout , And quickly maugre their welch heat , Over the flames the victory get . So that what ever did remain , Was surely saved by the rain . But though your flames were quench'd & ceas'd AEneas could nor well digest These blowes of Fate , which made him muddy And put him in a deep brown study , What course to steer , or how t' apply To present evils , remedy . Long was he in a great quandary , Whither to go his ways or tarry . Pox o'these Oracles quo he , They tell no truth that I can see . Then up steps , an old Cinque and Quatre Grave Nautes hight , whom Iove wise daughter Chose from his Cradle for her Crony , And with him often top'd Stypone . A desperate Casuist , for he well Aquinas knew , and Zabarell . And for predictions a meer Lilly. Only for Rimes Drammatic silly . This Doctor taking streight , forsooth , AEneas words out of his mouth AEneas th' art a fool quo he , Leave fretting and be rul'd by me . Fortunes a Whore , a meer Gilflurt , And scorns the more , the more ye court , Let her be Pox't and hang'd for a Jade , Throw thy Cap at her , and her aid . Go boldly , without fear or wit , And hit that nail that will be hit . Yet cause two heads are better than one Acestes of your privy Coun — Cel swear , he 'l hear thee with a whistle ; And he 's as shrew'd a man as Cecil . For th' old and lame , knock'em oth'head ; T is just like having babes to bed . For lazie Truants , man or woman , Turn'em a grazing on some Common : Where if the rain or wind do trouble , They may build huts with lome and stubble . Which then , they for a Town may take , And call 't Acestes for his sake . But all the lusty swaggering blades , Thar can both fight and ravish maids , Burn Villages and plunder Towns , Swear oaths of all dimensions , Keep these as th'apple of your eye , And be their chief , I 'le tell ye why , To murder all the innocent flock That live by Tibers little brook . But which shall shortly toss her nose , Bove all the floods Io : Moxon knows ; And spite of all their teeths compel 'Em to pay Custom and Ga — bel Thus ends the Prophet Gaffer two-shoos : For standing cold without Galoshoes , The rhume his nose did tickle sore ; And sneezing forc'd him to give ore . AEneas wits gon wool to gather , Heed neither speech nor Nautes neither . His busie pate was full of parables , His soul was prickt as t were with sparables ; Thus paind like maid that weareth willow , Quo he , I le go consult my pillow . Now was the night as dark as pitch is And near the hour that favours witches ; When he tossing and tumbling lies , Like one in Love above the eyes . Or vexed soul , when houer is fled , That Maudlin swore she 'd come to bed . Thus lying as he lay , tormenting His brain-sick noddle with inventing , Up comes the Reverent Anchises In the same Doublet , Hose and Breeches As he was always wont to weare ; For knowing how his son did feare , Besides those Devils , Rats and Ferrets , Those other Devils called Spirits , And that an Apparition might Make mad work with the sheets by night Thought fit to come in shape lest dreadful To him that had his brest and head ful . The Curtains drawn , he sets him down , And then quo he , God save ye Son. Up start's AEneas in a huddle , And all affrighted , piss'd a puddle . For fear , though they were strong as Ludgates Will set ope any Mortal's Floodgates . When Father cry'd in deep affection , Hold water Son , ye have protection . Go ring your shirt , and leave surmises I am your Father old Anchises . Iove that has quench'd the raging fire , According to your own desire , Has sent me here your brains to settle , And not with fear your mind to nettle . As for the old and the decrepit , To that which Nautes says , give credit : T is good advice , and as sententious , As Huncks ere gave to son licentious . But those that can both say and do , Let them go all along with you , To Tiber's stream , to which are bred nigh A warlike race , of a strange kidney . That sling a Devil and half at once , If e're they meet with any affronts . But ere ye go to this same war , You must go under ground d'y'heare , And visit sable Pluto's mannor . Where I shall be to do thee honour ; And make thee welcome as a Prince , As hath the old saying been long since . For I am no tormented soul But walk about upon parole . In fields Elysian without fetters ; Where all your souls mark't with red letters , Their several sports and pastimes take , With Cards , or Bowles , or Ale and Cake . There you shall meet a curteous Sibill Which there men credit next the Bible ; She 'l go before you with a Lanthorn To shew you ev'ry corner , and turn : There you shall hear me make Tautologies . Concerning all your Genealogies . Which every day I con by heart , As Children say their mornings part . So Son adieu , the day appears ; I dare not tarry for my ears . For when the Sun awakes the Daw's , Hobgoblins eyes always draw straws . AEneas in a plaguy fear , Sneaks out his head and cries who 's there ? Bow having now the night-Mare slain ; And rung his wits all in again , He springs upon his tayl anon ; Quo he , what Father gon so soon ? Not stay and take a dram o th bottle , After the pains of so much twattle ? How is your heart so cruel grown ? So short a visit , and be gon ? Return again my dear Dadda , And hear how well I yet can say , Pray Father pray to God bless me : That silly fear should so oppress me ? And make me thus forget all grace : Dog in a Doublet as I was . Then out he goes for tinder box , But by the way so hard he knocks His Princely shins against a Chair , That passion urg'd could not forbear ; Quo he , pox take this dog my father , To lead me thus I know not whither ; I warrant it an Inch-Incision , The Devil take him with his vision . But by and by when pain was over , And senses did their seat recover , His anger cooles , and he repents Of his ungracious complements . To make his peace he smoak'd the Room With Frankinsence or some perfume . A consecrated Cheescake next , If I am not besides the Text , ( Though Lipsius and the German gang Of Pedants only fit to hang , Say 't was a Fool ) which merits faith As giv'n to one that had no teeth . ) He gave old Vesta , old indeed , Sh 'had liv'd five thousand years a Maid ; Now call'd the Goddes mumble-Crust . This offring finish'd , and in post His mattins said , and Ave Maries , He 's fix'd again for new figaries . He goes to find the Rabble out , He tels his tale ; they laugh and flout ; Until he swore by his Virginity ; And then they could not in civility But credit every word he said . Acestes readily obey'd , And without making long discourse Promis'd'em all his utmost force , AEneas not to spoil his plot , Resolves to strike while the Iron 's hot . He streight calls out the old and feeble And women most unprofitable , And all the dainty , Lazie blouses , That ships forsake to live in houses . He only kept with him the stout , Such as would hold all weathers out Of which one man would cudgel four , And four would ribrost half a score . In number few , but great in heart , Not valuing danger of a fart . The ships were presently repair'd , New Oars are fram'd , new masts are rear'd . New taffata Jacks and silken streamers For this new moddel had no Dreamers . A toyl that words have quickly ended , For what 's soon said , is soon amended . AEneas now Surveyor turns , Gets him a Plough , and beasts with horns , And most gentilely like a Clown , Scores out the Moddel of a Town ; The Streets , the Lanes , and Market places , Exact like Troy with all her graces . Their Concubines apartiment , And privies most magnificent Acestes laugh'd untill he puk'd , To find his Honour thus be-duk'd , Makes law's a hundred more then twenty ; And Officers close stool to empty . Then where they never were before , To Venus , that Celestial whore Upon the mountain , Erycine , He makes a Temple , and a Shrine , To lay Anchises bones therein , And of the order Iacobin , He Consecrates a lazie Priest , Whose office 't was in dirty vest , Before a Taper always burning , To howl out ditties full of mourning . Thus having got a little quiet They fell to junketting and riot ; Nine days in gluttony they toyl , And drink like Shoomakers the while ; Till now the Ocean calm and gay Tell 's em 't is time to take away . The Southwind blows , but makes no bustle , More then to call 'em with his whistle . The longest day must have an end , And friend at length must part with friend . So 't is with them , now season calls , Of force they must pack up their Awls . The Galley-rosters then began To howl and blubber , and take on ; The women loath to ly alone Are all now frantic to be gon . AEneas , who had words at will , Begs'em with patience to be still ; Sometimes he laughs , sometimes he cries , As Cunning sway'd his drolleries . Twenty deluding tricks he us'd , And so their female brains amus'd , That they were well content to yeild , And to the Conquest quit the Feild . O heav'ns now what a noise is here ! Of humble servant , thine my Deare , Farewell my Joy , farewell my Love , Farewel my Hony , Duck and Dove , They kiss , they cry , they laugh , shake hands , Embrace and hugg , and on the Sands Th 'had taken their last leave , some think , Had Captain giv'n'em the least wink . Three Sheep are to the Tempests slain , To keep 'em in a merry vain . And then for Eryx that town Bull Four Heifers from the Herds they cull . The Anchors weigh'd , all ready now , AEneas stands upon the prow , With Olive branch upon his brow ; As thus he sate in Princely pomp , On a Portmantle easing Rump , A young tarpaulin Iacka lent Brought him a cup of musty Tent ; What 's this quo he , the juice of Toades 'T is well enough , 't will serve the Gods : With that he powr'd it down the Main , That drank it , as't'had been Champain . The guts and Garbadge of each beast , He gave the Tritons for a feast . For with the Brisket , Chines and Ribs , Trojans themselves had fil'd their cribs . The Seas thus pleas'd with Sail , and Oar , They part from the beloved shoar . You would have sworn , had you been near That all the Kent-Street Broom-men there Had empty'd all their leathern geare , Nothing was extant to your views For a whole mile but Womens shoos . Thus in old shoos their wishes flew , While they look on and wish for new : And so return from viewing fleet With tongues more clamorous than their feet Venus the while a slut most crafty , And mindful of her white boy's safety , Bids Coachman harness Flanders Mares , And streight to Neptune she careirs . Neptune , it being long Vacation , For want of better recreation , With Oyster shels , and rocky flakes Was busie making Ducks and Drakes ; But when he saw the Lackerd Coach , He left his sport and makes approach , Bless me , quo she , what mean you so Your noble pastime to forego ? In truth I blame my rudeness for 't ; That thus hath made you leave your sport , With voice more lulling than a lute She had so charm'd the Sea-green Brute , Madam quo he , kissing her hand , I were not worthy my command , Should I not all things set aside When such a Dame , so near ally'd Whom I love more , than you can guess it , Shal honour me with such a visit ; Good now what wind has blown you hither ? Some plot of Iuno upon the weather : Y' are in the right on 't , on my Honour She plagues my heart out , pox upon her , 'T is scarce a month but in despite , She burnt up all my sons whole fleet . And would have gridled him himself , But that the pretty harmless Elfe Has a good faculty to ball it , When any mischief does befall it . In all our heav'nly Court there 's none But hates her like a Scorpion . And Iupiter's a Hobby-horse , He does not kick her out of dores As one would kick a dog or bitch . She has the Devil in her breech . Time that brings all things to an end , Can't bound the malice of this fiend . The Laws of Fate she chops and changes , As all things mov'd upon her hinges . What need I tell you , you well know , She 's nothing else but fire and Tow. But t'other day , in Lybic Seas ▪ What a Combustion did she raise ! Attempting those her wild fegaries Within your Highness territories ; But that your Grace , I humbly thank ye , Seeing how meanly she did rank ye , Were pleas'd to take good cognizance Of puffing slaves Irreverence , And so cornub'd'em , that I think Their windy holes began to stink ; And then the sneaking sons of whores Pull'd in their horns , like Cuckolds Currs , That find by letters intercepted , How well their stately heads are grafted . But tempests missing her desire , She seeks to work her ends by fire ; But then her husband by a shower Stopt the damn'd progress of her power . That which remains , I beg your Grace To let your Seas keep smiling face . Let only gentle Zephyr be Your Highness courteous Deputy . And for those testy Aquilo's Chase'em like Hornets from my nose . Let Son at Tyber safe arrive ; And for so doing , as I live . My Maids shall work ye against Easter , A pointed Band worth twice a tester . I tell you this , as I am modest Upon the word of a true Goddess , Dear Madam , why such words as these ? You are sole Mistress of the Seas . From thence you came : The Seas were mad , If they for you no kindness had . And therefore vex your self no more , I 'le make the winds your breath adore . I 'le have a care of your young man , The same that Doe has of her fawn : Fair Simois and Xanthus both I call to witness upon Oath ; The large effects of former care ; Achilles when , great man of War , Assaulting Troy , a bold adventure , Your dapper Son would needs incounter And like to have his brains knockt out , In cloud I rapt him , as in clout , While his fierce foe in vain pursu'd , And th' Air as vainly hack't and hew'd I have the same protection still , The same intention and good will ; And for the sake of your bright eyes He ne're shall want what in me lies . Moreo're to shew I love him well , I 'le give him passage into Hell. Egress and regress to his wishes , As he were one of my own Fishes . The Lady hearing so much mercy , Dropt him a very delicate Curtsey . The King of floods then gave command , And Coach is tackled out of hand ; Coach by two Hippotams drawn , Not Dolphins as the Learned fain And on the billows then he drives The pace of Princes and their wives At his approach the Sea becalms , The waves as quiet are , as Lambs ; Winds clap their tayls betwixt their legs , Like Chaplain took at Baudy Pegs : The Scene was chang'd quite through the main , All cover'd now with Neptunes train . He to shew Lady Coz. his Port Had summon'd all t' attend his Court. First the Promoters of the Sea , His Sarjeants and his Catch poles , they Were certain Monsters , th' ugliest Rogues That ere were seen , upon Sea-Hogs . Whales of all sizes , sorts and shapes , With noses made like squirts for Claps , Whence they could spout ye with a vengeance Whole Rivers , like my Lord Majors Engins . These Glaucus lead , a man of note , In scallop she l instead of Boat. And all the way he play'd most fine Upon a Trumpet call'd Marine . Ino's Executor Palaemon Rid mounted on a good fat Sammon ; Old Triton second in the Empire , Rode in a Chariot frindg'd with Sampi● A Scallop lin'd with mother of Pearl Which six large Oysters nimbly whirle Phorcus the next most eminent Brought a whole a ragged Regiment Riding with dirty shirts on Sharkes , All dammy Boys , and Hect'ring Sparkes , Next Thetis with her Sallow jowl Rides mounted on an ambling Sole ; And next to her was Melite , Behind her man upon a Ray. Fair Panope a Virgin still , Bestrides an o'regrown Mackaril . Cymodoce brings up the Rear , Upon a nimble Didapper . Such was the worshipful procession Made by the Chiefs of Sea-born Nation : AEneas at the weather smiles , A smile in length above three miles . Men might have seen his heart untroubled Caper Coranto's through his doublet , Among the ships there 's not a lazy one , All by the fore-lock take Occasion ; Their sails are full , and Seamen brisk , Some go to sleep , and some to Whisk , The gale works for 'em , while the Ships All keeps their course , their Amm'ral keeps That steer'd by Palinure , a head The body of the whole Fleet lead Starboard , or Latboard , or No near , How e're he steer'd all others steer , The Rowers all the Season blest , That gave them so much time to rest , And all lay down upon the plancks To recreate their weary Flanks . While Pilots with their eyes , like Owles , Look out for Sea-marks , and for sholes , The rest , without the aid of Poppey , Or juice of Lettices , so nappy , So soundly slept , that some men swore Their very souls where heard to snore , When , lo , a little Urchin whipster , A god cal'd , but more like a Tapster , That by his good will would never waken , But sleep all day in rusty Bacon , This demi-god is Deaths one brother , 'T is well sh' has him , sh' has nere another . This drovvsie Soul drops from the stars , Dispels the Mist , that hid his Arse , And thus like a dissembling Knave , For Palinure provides a grave . Like Phorbas clad , quo he , dear Friend What harm dost thou thy self intend By watching thus ? aside thy care : And sleep a while , while weather 's fair , And I 'le be careful till you wake Of Galleys , that no harm they take . Follow your Fools advice that please , I 'le sleep no sleeps by Gods good grace : Who sent you here with this blind story ? Thus Palinure frumpt young Iohn Dory . This bold young Sophister howe're Continued still to buzz in 's Ear ' . He beggd him ore and ore again To clear his eyelids , but in vain , For Palinure he could not coax : Friend , quoth he , y' are in the wrong box . Is this a time for me to snort , Knowing the burden I support . How should I answer to be found , I fast a sleep , Ships fast a ground ? My Master , great AEneas , sure Would give much thanks to Palinure . A scalded dog the Kitchen bauks , So we have had enough of rocks , The little God , but hugeous Devil , Finding perswasions nere so civil , Would not prevail , draws out a jelly , The colour I can hardly tell ye , With this same oyl , not oyl of Violet , He rub'd the Temples of the Pilot , Who , without dreaming o the Fleet , Falls flat on 's belly fast a sleep . When on a sudden part of the steerage , Not well repair'd or out of meer age . Whips off , and Pilot , heav'n knows how , Only that Virgil says 't was so , Went with a murrain altogether , A strange mischance in such good weather , And therefore wise men guess it rather , ( Though bad excuse by Virgil made , Is better than t' have nothing said ) That the old man too much had drank , And going to sh — fell off a plank . However 't was , wak'd with the fall , He vainly to his Mates did call , For he was drown'd , and mischief done , Away th' unlucky God doth run . How e're the Ships steer a right course , For Neptunes promise guides their oars , Though some conjecture they did well , Rather by hap , than by good skill . Tell by and by the Rocks approaching , Where Syrens live , all day debauching , AEneas by good chance lookt out , And seeing Ships so neer a rout , Thought Pilot either drunk or dead , And that without his present aid , The Ships would be at six and sev'ns , He goes to see : but then O Heav'ns ! Th' astonish'd Mortal quickly found , That Palinure , Good man , was drown'd , The Galleys swom at seven and six , Like blind men groping without sticks , And now they gan approach the stones That lookt all white like dead mens bones , And yet the waves neer shallow shore , Lay howling day and night for more . AEneas , whiter than his Cravat , Saw 't was nothing for man to laugh at ; 'T was time i'saith for him to work , The which he did like any Turk ; And streight though night , and hard put to 't , Got sea room , and good way to boot , He wrought , but could not sing a noat , Like merry Coblers under stals ; For grief had spoild his Madrigals ; But for his Pilot , now a sleep , A hundred sighs he fetch'd ful deep ; He puft , and heav'd , and roard , and snob'd , To see himself of Pilot rob'd ; Ah my Dear Friend , his noddle shaking , That now must sleep for want of waking , Whom sleep it self , hath taken napping , And strangled in the water dropping , Naked upon some forreign shore Thou shalt be cast and seen no more ; Though if no Porpoise eat thee up , Nor Sturgron on thy carkass sup , Time may perhaps bring thee to light , Till then , Dear Palinure , good Night , FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54765-e280 For people lov'd gaping after shews then as well as now . He that distinguishes well teaches well . ‖ Here the Thumb is taken for whole hand . As the Devil said to the Collier . For interest will not ly . More afraid than hurt . viz his Goddesses . Belonging to Beargarden Colledge . Zabarel l. 200 p. 20000. You might have believed him without swearing . Harm watch harm catch Proud spirits had rather be damn'd than suffer disgrace . Your strong men are not always the wisest . Good words apease wrath . All this should have been said before . Though the Rhime made it a Bull 't was otherwise a Cow. For he was Dominus fac totum How orderly this bird was killd ? first frighted , then the string cut , Theu rump stic'd . One of Feltous resolv's For to say truth many that nere saw it doubt it to this howre . For the use of Colours was not then in fashion . Being a notable politician . What won't great people do for their own ends . Which she was half a day a doing You might ha'believ'd her without swearing . Passion makes any man mistakes . A neat invention to give him his hat without alighting . Plain dealing 's a jewel . For Juno was gone a Gossiping and knew nothing of his Petition 
A37114	----	The Turkish secretary containing the art of expressing ones thoughts, without seeing, speaking, or writing to one another : with the circumstances of a Turkish adventure : as also a most curious relation of translated by the author of the Monthly account. Secrétaire turc. English Du Vignau, sieur des Joanots. 1688 Approx. 174 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 43 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A37114 Wing D2922 ESTC R22181 12264302 ocm 12264302 57932 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A37114) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 57932) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 141:12) The Turkish secretary containing the art of expressing ones thoughts, without seeing, speaking, or writing to one another : with the circumstances of a Turkish adventure : as also a most curious relation of translated by the author of the Monthly account. Secrétaire turc. English Du Vignau, sieur des Joanots. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 80 p. Printed by J.B. and sold by Jo. Hindmarsh ... and Randal Taylor ..., London : 1688. Translation by John Phillips of: Le secretaire turc. Written by Du Vignau. Cf. BM. "Licensed July 3. R. Midgley" Reproduction of original in British Library. Includes index. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Harem. Turkey -- Court and courtiers. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Turkish Secretary , CONTAINING The Art of Expressing ones Thoughts , without Seeing , Speaking , or Writing to one another ; With the Circumstances of a Turkish Adventure : As also A most Curious Relation of several particulars of the Serrail that have not before now ever been made publick . Translated by the Author of the Monthly Account . Licensed July 3. R. Midgley . LONDON , Printed by J. B. and sold by Jo. Hindmarsh at the Golden Ball over against the Royal Exchange , and Randal Taylor at Stationer's-Hall , 1688. TO THE READER . THE Book now presented to thee , kind Reader , was written some few Weeks ago in French by a God-son to the most Christian King , and one that had been a Secretary of an Embassy of His Majesty at Constantinople . It was dedicated to the Grand-Duke of Tuscany , and met with so very kind a Reception at the Courts of France and Florence , that the Author had extraordinary Prais● and Presents conferred upon him by the two Soveraign● and this his Performance has an universal vogue among the two Nations . As the Translator flatters himself he has done the Original justice ; and as no Countrey is more fam'd than Old England for Hospitality , he does not question but the Turkish Secretary will meet with as kind Treatment here as among the French and Italians . He has , at least , the Charm of Novelty . All our other Relations concerning Turkey , treat only of Policy , Fire and Sword , whereas this displays nothing but Flowers , Fruits and Gallantries , which I should think most seasonable ; so that I may well expect it to be kindly taken . And as a long Grace to a good Meal and Appetite is unmannerly ; so Gracious Reader , adieu . THE TURKISH SECRETARY : OR , The Art of making ones mind understood without Speaking , Seeing , or Writing to one another . THere are several Ways of Expressing Love. The first School is that of Nature , and all the Lessons which the Poets have given for this purpose would be useless without the assistance of that Universal Mistress . All Animals in general make use of it , but it is only for the Conservation of their Species . Man to whom the use of Reason is peculiar , never Loves without endeavouring to augment his Pleasures by new Inventions . He Employs all manner of means to make the beloved Objected sensible of , and acquainted with his fond thoughts . A Lover full of the Troubles which his Love occasions in him , Expresses himself sometimes by Word of Mouth ; He makes use of Writing by the liveliest strokes to represent the ardency that burns him , and upon failure of Voice and Writing , he endeavours to make known by the Different motions of his face , the Sentiments of his heart . This is much the manner of making Love in a free Countrey , where it is easy to communicate , and where you may speak , see , or write to one another . There are Nations that do not enjoy this advantage . The greater part of the Turks can neither reade nor write , and have not any freedom of communicating with Women . Yet are they not insensible ; On the contrary they seem to be more susceptible of Love , than any other of the Eastern Nations , where the Commerce of Women is equally difficult . They abandon themselves entirely to this Passion ; they make it their Sovereign Pleasure ; they push it even to fury . Nay , it has been averr'd to me that there are Turks , both Men and Women , who to prove their Love in their Extravagancies , run Daggers into their Arms , and cause burning Sulphur to be dropt into the Wound ; and I have commonly seen them , bite a piece of the flesh from off their Arms , suck and drink the blood of it , and leave a burning Match to consume it self upon the Wound . Thus it is not to be wonder'd if a People of so hot a Constitution , when they want the usual means of making known their Passion , endeavour to invent such as are Extraordinary . Flowers , Fruits , Woods , Odoriferous Simples , Silks , Gold , Silver , Colours , Stuffs , and in short all things that serve to the Commerce of Life , do among the Turks partake in that Love. This Skillfull Master whose Empire , by Establishing it self strongly over all Creatures , proves it self by this maxime of giving Wit to such as have none , of Suggesting Inventions for the bringing about Designs , which it causes to be conceived , does not fail to Exercise its Power in the need Lovers have of it in Turkey , where the more difficult is the frequentation of Men with Women , the more Projects and Enterprizes does this Passion seem there to occasion , particularly in the minds of Women , to overcome the Obstacles they meet withall in their Amours . Surprizing stories are told us upon this Subject , and which seem incredible . Certain it is that this Sex being the most attackt by that Violent Passion , is not the most blame-worthy in the World , if it studies all possible means to procure its satisfaction . The Custom of a Turk 's taking a Young Person for his Wife , without having ever seen or known one another , but only in concert with the Maids Father , or with some other Relation ; the usage of Marrying a Maid as soon as she is thirteen or fourteen years Old ; the Number of Wives the Turks are allowed to have , and their manner of considering them in that Estate , not otherwise than as being proper to afford them Children , and for all the World as they do their Horses , when they think fitting to use that which pleases them most ; All these Reasons and many more that cannot handsomly be unfolded , are very prevalent to take away from Women the pleasure of their Husbands , and to Excuse them if in spight of the rigour which keeps them penn'd-up and inaccessible , they Employ all sorts of Inventions to revenge themselves of such Injuries and Provocations , by a Commerce of Gallantry with some Lover . This is a Subject that would lead me too farr , but to come to the manner of their writing to one another without Pen , Ink and Paper , by the means of Flowers , Fruits , Woods , Silks , Colours and other things , we cannot positively affirm that this was invented by the particular Genius of Lovers . There is reason to believe that this comes from the Ancient manner of Explaining ones mind by Cyphers , and by Figures such as were the Hieroglyphicks among the AEgyptians , before Letters were invented . Be it as it will all these things which the Turks call Selam in this use , that is to say Safety , or desire of Peace , have their Naturall or Allegoricall Signification and Worth , insomuch that a little Packet of about an Inch bigg , if you have a regard to what it contains , composes a very Expressive Discourse , which is understood by the Interpretation of the name of Each thing they send . For Example , a bit of Sugar in Turkish call'd Cheker , will signify seni Madem tcheker , which is as much as to say , My Bosom longs for you , My Heart wishes for you passionately . A Stone which in Turkish is called Tach , will be interpreted Koyalum bi r yastuga bach , that is to say , let 's lay our heads upon one and the same Pillow . This is also Explain'd by a Phrase , whose first Syllable is like to the first of the Name of the thing which one sends , as Mavi , which signifies Blew , will signify Mail oldum , I am fallen in Love. Karenfil , which is a Pink , or a Clove-Gilliflower , will signify Karenfil sen Kararung yok , ben seni tchoktan severem meyer benden hbaherung yok ; Which signifies you are a Pink , a Beauty not to be parallel'd ; a long long time have I lov'd you without daring to let you know it . A Plum in Turkish call'd Erik will give to understand Eridik , which is as much as to say , We are dissolv'd away in grief , and the like of others , which custom authorizes rather than any certain Rule ; for the Turks do not only take the just Explication litterally ; but also sometimes Metaphorically , and by helping on a little for the Connexion of the sense . For Example , they are minded to Express these words . I am Extremely in Love with you , the Torment my Love makes me suffer makes me faint away and almost run distracted . My Heart breaths after you with passion , wishing you to bring it the necessary Remedy , &c. They wlll take a Grape , Blew Silk , a Plum , a Pea , a bit of Sugar , and a little Aloes Wood , which is common in Turkey , and they will observe to range all these things well , and bind the Silk in such manner , that each thing may gradually discover it self , and be orderly Explain'd as the following Table will let you see . Selam , Or a thing that is sent . Aloes Wood. Sugar . A Pea. A Plum. Blew Silk . A Grape . All this is call'd in Turkish Names . Eud Agadgi . Cheker . Nohoud . Erik . Mavi . Usum . Whose Signification is Signification . Iladgi . Seni madem tcheker . Bachimung Derdunden oldum beihoud . Eridik . Mail oldum Iki giaizum Which in English is litterally Construction . Physiciaen , Remedy of my head . My Bosom longs after you . My torment makes me mad . We dissolve away . I am fall'n in Love. My Eyes . All these Phrases joyn'd together frame a Letter by tacking them a little for the Connexion of the Sense . Thus when you write , My Eyes , I am fall'n in Love , We are Disolv'd away , My Torment makes me Mad , My Inclinations , My Bosom attracts you , Physician Remedy of my head . This is as much as to say , My Heart , My Dear , I am fall'n in Love with you , and the Torment I am under from my Passion , makes me sometimes faint away and then again almost run distracted . My heart passionately desires you to bring it the necessary Remedy . Though there are Selams to which the Turks give severall Significations , of which they ever take that which sutes best with the Other things that go along , I have only applyed my self to give them one simply , that so I might not occasion a Confusion that could be only unravell'd by long practise ; But it is to be observed that as the Turks have no Gender , and that they equally say with us , a handsome Man and a handsome Woman , the same Terms and Phrases serve for Lover and for Mistriss . This way of Expressing a Passion , as Extravagant as it may 〈◊〉 has , nevertheless , it's prettinesses , and that it only proc●●●s from a great want of Liberty , and from the ignorance of the most Common Science which is that of Reading and Writing ; Yet is it so Gallant and Ingenious that those who know how to read and write , do not disdain to make use of it . They Phancy these Selams to have more efficacy , and to make greater Impressions upon the mind , then the Characters that are form'd in a Letter ; which besides , being liable to interception , would endanger the two Lovers secret , which is but too usuall in Amorous Commerces . The Persons that are wont to make use of Selams have ever a little Cabinet full of all the things that compose them , and they know their Significations so well by heart , that they use them with great readyness , either in Writing or making an Answer . Perhaps you may object to me , what I my self sometimes said to the Turks , that with these Selams one cannot act so freely in the search of some quaint turn of Phrase , or of some new Expression which the Wit and Hearts of Lovers may Suggest , so to distinguish ones self with the beloved Object , and to insinuate our selves into its Affections after a more agreable manner . And indeed , these Selams being common to all sorts of Persons , The Woman of the least Ingenuity may say as fine things as the most Understanding Man in the World. In answer to this I shall quote what the Turks retorted upon me . Though that the reason I have alledg'd may be destroyed , since the Wit does not in some manner leave to employ it self , and express it's-gallantry and politeness in the Choice and ranging of the Selams that one sends , though it were absolutely true , what necessity is there of spending time in needless words ? This is good for Infidells , say the Turks , who have only windy flourishes of Discourse ; but for their parts they go directly to the point in all things , particularly in a matter , wherein they hold that all Discourse is Superfluous . For this reason is it that without making use of Circumlocutions or Equivocations , they make no difficulty as well Women as Men to explain their minds freely and express things as they think them , believing ( saving some Rules of Decorum ) that there is no more harm in the one than the other , since the Sin consists in the Intention . It suffices them that with these Selams they give to understand all that can be said and written in a Commerce of Amity and Correspondence as is very feasable , as will be made manifest in the Series of this Discourse . But that we may the more delightfully introduce the usage of those Selams or mute Characters , and give a more perfect understanding of the Turks manner of interpreting them , I will relate a little History that has happen'd in my time , which I learnt from an old Jewess called Boul-Ester , who was the Principal Actress in it , to which I will add a Character of all the Phrases that may be employed , and a little Dictionary of Flowers , Fruits , Stuffs , and other things that serve instead of these same Phrases , such as I had at Constantinopie in Turkish Terms and Characters : I have here retrenched them that so I might not perplex the Reader by words of a Forreign Tongue , wherein he would not be bound to believe me , having only contented my self with faithfully Translating them , and with instancing the Approbations thereunto annexed , and which I took upon the places , as well as to my History , which he will allow Credence to if he thinks fitting . As to the Turkish proper names that may be met withall in this Book , they are to be pronounced exactly in the same manner as they are writ in English Characters , and not by Corrupting them , as most of those do , especially the French , who read these sorts of things , out of a meer Fancy of strange Difficulties in pronouncing a Language , against which they are unjustly prejudic'd . From thence is come the errour of Pronunciation , which is committed when one is obliged to read in English proper Names , and other Turkish words , which it would be much more easy to pronounce naturally as they ought to be pronounced , than after the manner People do pronounce them . For example the name of Murad , as it is pronounced in Turkish is much softer and easier to be read and pronounced in English than is Mourat or Amurat. Sarai which is the true word , would be much smoother and easier than Serraglio . Ahmet is easier than Akhomet , which is often taken for another name than Ahmet , though it be the same . It is the like with a world of others , which People seem to have taken delight in maiming and guelding . This would be very blameable , if a too antient usage , and a Complaisance for the Publick , which I my self have had , did not render those excusable that have written in this manner ; but they too often commit a fault , in which it is convenient to give an explication that will not bevoid of use for those that daily read Gazettes , and the most considerable matters that concern Turkey . In speaking of the Pacha's , some will absolutely call them Bachas , others read Pacas , or Bacas , others write Bassas , and none of all these speak right , confounding together the words of Pacha , Bacha , and Bachi . Certain it is that all the world is not bound to know the difference there is between these three words , but those that write concerning them ought not to be ignorant in this point , that so they may make them to be well pronounced , and understood in such manner as they ought to be understood and pronounced . Pacha , which imports Viceroy , is a Diminitive of Padichah which signifies Emperour . This Title is conferred on the Governours of Provinces , as Pacha of Aleppo , Pacha of Cairo , Pacha of Candia , &c. It is likewise given to Lieutenant Generals ; to the High Admiral Capoudan-Pacha , derived from the word Capitano ; to the Controllour General of the Finances Defterdar-Pacha ; to several other great Officers of the Empire , and to those that have stood possess'd of the Dignities to which that Title is annexed . Pacha is subordinate to Vesir , not Visir or Visier , which in its Arabick Etimology signifies Porter , as if one should say the Person in whose Prudence and Conduct is confided the whole weight and Government of the Empire . Bassa was never said in Turkish ; It has been borrow'd from the Greeks , who not being able to pronounce the Ch otherwise than as two ss , say Passa instead of Pacha , and the change of the P to the B is made by Corr●p●ion or mistake 〈◊〉 the word Bacha , which is a very mean Title , and that of 〈◊〉 which is annex'd to very Honourable Employs , nay ar 〈…〉 that are the Principal of the State. Bacha and Bachi do both derive themselves from the same word Bach , which signifies Head , Chief ; But they are extream different in Application : Bachi is bestow'd upon seve●al very considerable Officers of the Empire , and to all the Chief Commanders of any Body , Company , Brigade , or Party . Bacha is commonly taken for the J●nizaries , and for all sorts of People of the lowest Condition whom they call Ibrahim Bacha , Osman Bacha , Eumer Bacha , Mustapha Bacha &c. As if we should say in English to People of the lowest Rank , Master Peter , Master John , Master Thomas , &c. And as it would be very ridiculous to confound Master Peter , Master Thomas , Master John , with Master of Accounts , Master of Requests , Master of the Wardrobe , &c. so it is no less ridiculous in regard of the Turks , that one confounds the word Bacha with that of Pacha , which signifies Vice-Roy Governour of a Province , or with that of Bachi , which signifies Master , Chief , Superintendant , or Commander , as the Topchi Bachi Grand Master of the Artillery , Chief of the Canonniers ; the Bostangi Bachi , Master Gardiner , Lieutenant of the Policy of Constantinople , and Superintendant of the Imperiall Gardens and Houses ; the Capidgi Bachi who are as it were the Grand Signiors Gentlemen in Ordinary . The Tcha●uch Bachi , Commanding the Companies as it were of Gentlemen-Pensioners , and Sundry other considerable Officers of the Port. After this petty Observation which does not ill become the Character of the Turkish Secretary , since it concerns the speaking and Writing well , I proceed to the History of the Old Jewess . THE HISTORY OF YOUSSUF-BEY and of GUL-BEYAZ . IT is the Custom of the Turks in publick Merriments to spend the three days of the Bairam , which is their feast , of all the year the most Solemn , after a Fast of thirty Days , as is that of Easter among the Christians . The Turkish Princesses and Ladies of the first Quality that have their Palaces and Abodes in the City of Constantinople , and in the Neighbourhood , repair to the Grand Signiors Seraglio to visit the Sultana's , that are not to be seen at another time , and there they spend those three days in sports and Gallantries . The Slaves that are not Employ'd in Singing or dancing , which makes up the Principal Divertisement of the Princesses , withdraw into some By-Apartment where they contribute to each others Mirth and Recreation . Upon a certain Day that Bournaz Hatidge Sultan , Sister to Sultan Murad , went to the Seraglio to visit the Sultana Valide , Mother to the Grand Signior Mahomet the 4th , now lately Depos'd , these two Sultana's meaning to be private , dismiss'd for a time all their Slaves , out of their Presence . Some that were most Intimate struck off from the rest , that they might discourse with the more freedom , and went to sit in a great Kiochque , or House of Pleasure to take the Air. This Banquetting-house look'd upon the Gardens of the Seraglio , and upon the open Sea , that washes the great Front of the City of Constantinople , on the sides of the Isles of Princes . Their Discourse happen'd to fall upon the Amours of Gulbeyaz , which signifies White-Rose . She was the Sultana Valide's Principal Slave , and had some Years ago been taken out of the Seraglio to be given in Marriage to the Son of a rich Pacha , thro' adventures as Whimsical as they were propitious for her . All the Slaves Mutually entreated their Companions to tell that Story ; but as one of them called Fatma , was better acquainted with it than the Rest , thro' her having been concern'd in it , and by Gulbeyaz having made her her Confident without Reserve , they earnestly entreated her to relate it , which she did in these terms . Gulbeyaz had reach'd to Fifteen or Sixteen years of Age , without being acquainted with Love , though she had dayly heard the other Maids her Companions discourse of that Passion , which produced such strange effects , that it made them at the same time proceed from joy to sadness , and from Love to Jealousy and Despair , Insomuch that their Countenances chang'd as often as their hearts were ruffled with different Motions . So pitteous an Estate had made Gulbeyaz afraid of such like Engagements , and she had shunn'd them as much as was possible for her ; but at length Love being provok'd by the resistance of so beautifull a Person , constrain'd her to buckle to his Power , and inspir'd her with Sentiments of tenderness for a Young Turk , the Neighbour of a Jew , at whose house she had been boarded with several other Slaves above her Age. She was plac'd in that Family to learn to Read , Write , Sing , Dance , Play upon Instruments , and the other Exercises that are commonly taught us , so to polish and render her worthy of being introduced into this Seraglio , where Gulbeyaz remain'd for three years , after which she went out hence , with a fortune equal to her Merit , and the greatness of her ove . This Turk call'd Youssuf-Bey , the Son of Mehemmed Pacha , Seraskier , was the Neighbour and much the friend of the Jew , at whose House Gulbeyaz was plac'd , and he frequently went thither to hear her Sing , and play upon a Psaltery , which she did incomparably better than any Body in the World. She was then in her Sixteenth year , and Youssuf conceived so much Love for her , that to see and hear her the oftener , he spent Days and Nights in his Garden , which was contiguous to that of the Jew , or at Windows that look'd upon a Place where Gulbeyaz was wont to walk : Nay one day he would needs discourse her upon the Passion she had produced in his heart , but his Amorous Cajolleries made so little Impression upon her mind , that as then she had not the least Sentiment of tenderness . Some time after , the Person that had plac'd her at the Jews House finding her sufficiently instructed , presented her to the Sultana our Mistress . Absence which is a great Remedy against Love , instead of stifling Youssuf's Passion , did only serve to augment it , while that Gulbeyaz lived very peaceably in the Seraglio , where Love as yet had not disturb'd her Repose . Youssuf try'd all manner of ways to have some Account of the Dear she he adored . All his Endeavours were in vain ; the Doors of the Womens Apartment are inaccessible Places . The Eunuchs that keep them being peevish , and vex'd to see themselves depriv'd of what might render them agreeable to so many Beauties as they have under their Charge , become jealous of them even to fury , and have piercing Eyes that discover their very least steps . So many Difficulties had almost pawl'd Youssuf , who had spent near three years in Abortive Endeavours . He gave himself up to Grief and Complaints , when that one of his friends , who shar'd in all his Afflictions , inform'd him that a Jewess , call'd Boul-Ester , had a free Access into the Seraglio , where she sold a World of Toys to the Sultana's . Youssuf who had Wit and Money , avail'd himself of his Friends advice , and thence conceived good hopes , both for that he was prodigiously rich , and that he knew with Money the most Difficult Enterprises are brought about , He resolved to entrust his Passion in this Jewess , and to make her his Friend , wherein he found no great Difficulties , because that considerable Presents , and the promise of redoubling them in case of good success , immediately engag'd the Jewess to serve Youssuf in his Amour . He encharged her with a pair of Pendants , which were two Emeraulds of the Pear Cutt , with a pair of Diamond Bracelets and with a Girdle garnished with Rubies enchac'd in enamell'd Gold. He accompanied this Present with a Letter written with his own hand , and with a Selam , contained in a Gold enamell'd Watch Cover enrich'd with Diamonds . He conjur'd this Toy-woman to use her utmost Industry to make Gulbeyaz sensible of the excess of his Love , and to represent to her the Disorders which this Passion had occasion'd in his Bosom ; the State challenging pity to which it had reduced him ; that Gulbeyaz had been now near three years in the Serraglio , without his having been able to find out an occasion to have the least tydings of her , and that he was ready to dye if all he had suffer'd for her sake was incapable of inspiring her with some Compassion and Acknowledgment for him . The Jewess , who was extraordinary Sly and Cunning , coming to the Serraglio , after her usual manner , watcht the time that the Sultana Valide was not visible , and seeking for an occasion to speak conveniently to Gulbeyaz , she entreated her to give her leave to rest a little in her Apartment , which Gulbeyaz could not civilly refuse her , being of all the Maids this Toy-woman was the most familiarly acquainted withall , by reason of her employ of the Sultana's Treasuress , to which she had attained in a very little time by her merit , and by that Princess's most peculiar esteem . Women are naturally curious ; Gulbeyaz immediately askt the Jewess what she had new to shew that day , and having told her that she brought Jewells , she extoll'd their Beauty and Perfection , and taking out of her Bosom a Box wherein they were contain'd , she shew'd them to Gulbeyaz . The fire and lustre of these Precions Stones which Gulbeyaz ey'd attentively and with a wishing look , put her upon decking her self with them for a moment , and the Jewess did not fail by her flatteries and praises to engage her often to consult her Table-Glass , which she found by Chance , and which made her observe an Extraordinary flushing in her face , occasion'd by Vexation and Spight , for that fortune had not favour'd her with the like Treasure . Boul-Ester who plainly perceiv'd all that pass'd in Gulbeyaz heart , and that she was falling into the snare , judg'd that all Moments were precious , and fancy'd it to be now time to play her part , and to discover to this fair one the subject of her Commission ; by delivering her Youssufs Letter and Prefent . Charming Gulbeyaz , ( said she to her ) I must own t' ye that I cannot but wonder that the Sultan is not taken with so many Beauties , and with so many Attractions as I observe in your Person . There is nothing in you , but what is capable of inspiring Love , and if his Highness had seen you thus adorned , the Sultana would be jealous , and I can easily persuade my self of the Truth of what has been affirm'd to me of the passion which a Young Turk , call'd Youssuf had for you . Tho' since Gulbeyaz had been in the Seraglio , she had neither heard talk of the Jew , at whose house she had been boarded , nor of Youssuf-Bey , yet that name made her change Colour . This young Man's Passion was not unknown to her , since he had discours'd her upon the torments she made him to endure . She did what she could to dissemble her surprize , and conceal the Disorder of her mind , but the poyson that had so long been shed therein , without her perceiving it , discover'd it self in spight of her , by a sigh that broke forth from the bottom of her heart , and which she could not keep in . Boul-Ester availing her self of the Disorder she knew Gulbeyaz to be in , did so lively represent to her Youssuf's Passion and Merit , that she perfectly insinuated him into her heart , tho' this fair one durst not yet however declare her self openly . The Jewess presented her at the same time with the Box of Diamonds , and as she fancy'd it to be a thing that she only shew'd her , Curiosity made her open it ; but instead of a Watch-movement , she found a letter in it , which oblig'd her to shut it again immediately to restore it to the Toy-woman . She pretended to be vex'd , though she would willingly have been inform'd of the Contents of the Letter , not doubting but that it was a Declaration of Youssuf's Passion , who began to , please her . The Jewess who had too much Experience to be a stranger to and not understand this feint , press'd her so earnestly to take the Box again , that she could not decline it , but she protested to her , that it was only out of Complaisance , and to free her self from her Importunities . In taking out the Letter Gulbeyaz found underneath a little Pacquet , which contain'd a Selam , but as she was impatient to read , she immediately open'd the Letter , which was conceived In these terms . To see and Love you , Divine Gulbeyaz , were to me but one and the same thing . Heaven that made you so beauteous , ought to have made you more sensible , or not to have inspir'd me with so much Love with so little hopes . My Passion is as old as the knowledge I have had of your merit , and time which consumes all things has only served to augment it . Now for several years have I not been my self ; and only live for you . I spend both days and Nights in that part of my Garden , whence I heard you Sing , and Play upon Instruments , and whence I some times discours'd you . That Place which was the Confident of my Pleasures , is at present of my Torments ; and will be quickly that of my Grave , unless you cause my destiny to be chang'd , being no longer able to live without seeing you . I know the difficulty of this Enterprize ; but , incomparable Gulbeyaz , if you would have a little Compassion of him that languishes away for you , and grant him the happiness of throwing himself at your feet , leave all things to the Care and Contrivance of the prudent Boul-Ester , she 'l know how to manage both my good fortune and your Reputation . The reading the Letter gave Gulbeyaz the Curiosity to open the Selam ; It was compos'd of Ginger , with Yellow-Wax , a bit of Cloath , of Coal , Alum , Cypress , wrapt-up in Pearl-colour Silk , whose Signification is ; Feign would I , My Eyes , that you were fully inform'd of the Love I have for you ; It robbs me of my self , and if you do not take pitty of the Condition I am in , I shall dye while you enjoy a happy Life . Honour me with an Answer , and put a period to my torments . Though Gulbeyaz pretended the not being well pleas'd with this Declaration which she found 100 free , yet was her heart Extremely well Satisfy'd with Youssufs Constancy . This Heart of hers spoke to her in his behalf , & there needed no great Endeavours to persuade her that he lov'd her , and inspire her with tenderness . The Jewess , who studied Gulbeyaz's Countenance , perceiving the effect of the Letter and Selam , offer'd her at the same time the Jewells with which she was already deck'd . Her reason which was not as yet wholly prepossess'd , made her refuse them flat and plain . She gave her to understand the injury that this would do her Reputation , if the Sultana discover'd it , and that she ought not to accept a Present , much less embrace an Intreague that might be the occasion of her ruine . At the same time she took off those Jewells , and restored them with the Box , only keeping the Letter and Selam . Boul-Ester , whom long Practice had rendred a Person of large Experience , was persuaded that an over-great Earnestness does sometimes hinder the success of what one most wishes : wherefore without insisting longer to make Gulbeyaz take the Jewells , she contented her self with min●ing her of the acknowledgment that is owing to Persons that have favourable Sentiments for us , and that the Law of Nations required that she should at least return an Answer , without which there would be occasion to doubt of the fidelity of her Message . Gulbeyaz fell happily into the Trap , and fancy'd she should gain a mighty Victory over her self , by returning Youssuff an Answer quite contrary to what her thoughts were for him , nay and to what she had newly done in keeping his Letter and Selam : For her Answer was as now follows . I know you to be a Romancer , and think to expose me to your Raillery , Recollect your self , and remember that I am very angry at your temerity , and that I will never consent to your fond Pretensions . This was express'd by a Pepper Corn , a little bit of Parchment , of Velvet , a small Splinter of Box , a Pistacho , a piece of Glass , and all these things made a small Pacquet in a piece of Cloth , by which forsooth she would feign let Youssuff know that Gulbeyaz was weary of his Importunities . She was too high and arrogant both in Language and Action to continue so long . And this Consideration did in a great measure comfort Youssuff , for otherwise Spite and Vexation would have sent him to his Grave , if his Mistress's over-great Affectation to oppose his Addresses , had not made him guess she would yield in a little time . Thus , far from being pawl'd , he grew more and more fortified in his Resolution . The Jewess did more than a little contribute thereunto , by giving him a faithfull Account of all the Circumstances of her Conversation with Gulbeyaz , and by encharging her self with a second Mute Letter , which he gave her for that beauteous Person . He was not willing to make use either of Ink or Paper , for fear of some Accident , and besides he perceiv'd by experience that she perform'd but too well in the other way of writing . He contented himself with justifying himself after a modest sort of manner , 'till such time as that he had answerable Returns from Gulbeyaz , who he foresaw would not be long in Debt to him . Some days after did Boul Ester return to the Serraglio , and in entring the Sultana's Apartment , she Embrac'd Gulbeyaz in the presence of her Companions who were there , and told her I give you the good morrow and this also . At the same time she put into her hands a very little Box of Gold , that contained Tow , and a bit of a kind of Coverlet , and took out of her bosome a pair of Cizars very curiously wrought , and a pocket Looking-Glass , which she pretended to make her a present of . As Gulbeyaz was the she of all the Slaves , who stood the Jewess in most stead with the Princess , this present gave no matter of suspicion to the Rest ; on the contrary , they would have been suprized if Gulbeyaz should not have accepted it . Now she interpreted this new Selam in the manner following . If it is possible , My Dear Mistress , that I have been so unhappy as to displease you , pardon me , I beseech you , that fault , or command me to dye . I am just ready to sacrifice my Life to Express to you the Excess of my Love and of my Obedience . Boul-Ester staid a long time in the Chamber with the Sultana , who consulted her upon the Quality of certain stuffs for a furniture , and in putting up an Extraordinary fine Herons Top which she had shew'd her , she entreated Gulbeyaz to order a Glass of Water to be brought her into the Anti-chamber , for her to drink at her going away , which was as much as to say that she desired an Answer . The obligation of being always with the Princess , had hinder'd Gulbeyaz from getting a Selam ready as baughty as the first . This Constraint occasioned her entertaining a secret joy , though otherwise she labour'd under an extraordinary impatience to discourse Boul-Ester . Yet had she not the opportunity of doing it that day , by reason of the world of Maids that flock'd from all parts of the Lodgings to see what the Jewess had brought . All that Gulbeyaz could do was to give her hastily a Selam , in bidding her Adieu in the same manner as the other had bid her good morrow . This Selam was more succinct and much less severe than the former , in which Gulbeyaz has told me several times that she pretended so much rigour only on the account that she thought Honour and Decorum engaged her thereunto , that so she might not yield otherwise than in form , and that she might charge to time and the perseverance of her Lover the excuses of a Passion , which she had been but too sensible of from the first Declaration . Wherefore Gulbeyaz told Boul-Ester just as she was going away that she had several Commissions to encharge her with , but wanting the opportunity of unfolding her mind to her , she entreated her only for that time to take a * Themen , and with it to buy her Pens to write , like to one she gave her in pressing her hand , to which she added that this was all that time and her Devoir to her Mistress did permit her to tell her ; as , indeed , was true . Her Eyes and the tone of her Voice gave Boul-Ester much more to understand than did the Themen and the Quill , which signified however , that as she had not any proof of the Sincerity of Youssuff's words , she did not advise him to suffer any longer for the love of her . This was for all the world like casting Oyl into the fire , and does plainly manifest the blindness of those that love . Gulbeyaz would not have her Lover think of her , and yet could not forbear thinking continually of him . In short , there was no resisting Destiny , which treated them both in the manner you are going to hear . The more Youssuff and the Jewess grew sensible of Gulbeyaz weakness , or rather the violence of her Love , the more did they push things to extremity ; though in the up shot , Youssuff was found to deal upon the square . They contrived so well together the means of persuading his Mistress of the truth of this , that she could no longer decline owning that she was convinc'd of his Sincerity , and that she should willingly and delightfully make suitable returns to it , as far forth as her good Fortune would allow her the occasions . Youssuff redoubled his Presents and his Promises to Boul-Ester , & engag'd her so far in his Interests , that she resolved to watch her opportunity to go to the Serail in the same manner she did the first time , that is to say , when she knew the Sultana not to be visible , that so she might have an occasion of speaking freely to Gulbeyaz , and of using her utmost endeavours to satisfy Youssuff's Love by bringing him some favourable Declaration from his Mistress , which accordingly fell out three days after . While that the Sultana did , after her usual rate , take her Repose , all the Slaves went into the Gardens to gather Flowers therewithall to adorn their Apartments , saving two , who according to Custom staid in the Princess's Chamber . During that time , Gulbeyaz out of a kind of fore-knowledge would needs remain alone to take the fresh air in a Balcony that looks upon the Court of the Serrail . There was she pensive and musing upon the Jewells which Boul-Ester had shewn her from Youssuff , and on the Disorder she was brought into by being acquainted with his Passion . Nay she began to repent her having shewn her self so scornfull , when that she perceiv'd the Jewess coming into the Court of the Serrail , and directing her steps towards the Valide's Apartment . Gulbeyaz went down immediately to meet this Toy-woman , and having askt her without thinking on what she said , thro' what malice on her part , and thro' what fatality for her heart , she came just at a time they might have the leisure to continue a long while together , and discourse in her Chamber ; Boul-Ester knowing , by the hurry and quality of this Discourse , what past in the Bosom of that Lovely Person , answer'd her that she was in hopes of gaining that day a great Victory . Being both got into Gulbeyaz Chamber , the Jewess represented to her all that Cunning and Fancy can suggest to bring about what one has undertaken ; and as it was easy for her to perceive the Progress that what she said to her made in her heart , by Gulbeyaz fond and hasty way of asking her whether she had a Selam to give her ; Yes , answered the Jewess , taking out the Jewells she shew'd her the first time , accompanied with a very large Diamond which Gulbeyaz had not yet seen , and with a little Box made of one sole Emerauld . Here 's the Selam I have orders to give you with an absolute prohibition of carrying the least part of it back . Gulbeyaz was agreeably surprized , and beginning to open the Box , she found it to contain a Letter , which she tell immediately to u●cifring , being much more eager to know what concern'd Youssuffs Person and the Sentiments of his heart , than to view the Jewells , which , however fine they were , much less affected her . This Ticket was the Kernel of a Nut , Sea-green-Colour'd Silk , a Grain of Corn , a little Plum , a bit of Corrail , Cherry-Colour'd Silk , Jessamin , and a little Tobacco , wrapt up in Peach-Colour'd Silk : All this was as much as to say , I ever was in hopes that you would at the long run put a period to your rigours and my torments ; but since I see the Impossibility that is met withall in this matter , and that you are inflexible to my Entreaties , not withstanding the piteous Estate to which you have reduced me , I abandon to you all I have in the world with my Life , after Swearing to you that I act with the utmost sincerity , and that you are the only cause of my Death . This Ticket's tenderness and sincerity , which were sufficiently proved by Youssuffs Magnificence and Generosity , afforded Boul-Ester a free Field to tell Gulbeyaz all she was minded . At last after many replies and great Contests on both sides , she fully convinced her by a means she could not resist . This Toy-woman represented to Gulbeyaz that her Beauty being set off with the Stately Attire and Lustre which these Jewells gave her , she might chance to please the Grand Signior , and , perhaps , come to be Sultana . The pretext which Gulbeyaz used of the Desire of reigning at least in the heart of an Emperour , was a mighty help to her , to cover the Complaisance she had for Youssuff , and this reason having prevailed over all her own , she consented to receive the present , and began at length to declare her self for him that sent it . Boul-Ester could have wisht that she would have become as easy to have received him himself in her Apartment : She mentioned it to her , and employed her whole Address to make her consent to it . Gulbeyaz heart indeed , was not altogether averse to this Proposal , but the greatness of the Undertaking and the dangers she should have exposed her self to , did absolutely hinder her from thinking on it , and whatever endeavours the Jeness used to gain her Compliance , she could not as yet obtain any thing further from Gulbeyaz , save that the would place her self at the Windows to see her Lover in the Gardens , provided he could come thither without too much hazzard . She allowed him three days to contrive the means of it . Boul-Ester would needs have this Permission in writing , that so she might shew it to Youssuff ; But though Honour and Reson made Gulbeyaz refuse this , Love engaged her on the other side to make known to her Gallant by a Selam the true Sentiments of her heart , and that his Passion had nothing that displeased her . This Selam was put into a Silk Handkerchief Embroidered with Gold , wrought with her own fair hand , after which the Toy-woman went her ways , pretending before the other Slaves who had caught them in Discourse , that she lest those Jewells with Gulbeyaz to shew them to the Sultana . Youssuff being impatient to learn the success of his Enterprize , waited his Confident's return , who gave him a full Account of what had passed , as also the Handkerchief sent him by his Mistress . The joy he had in receiving this Pledge of the allowance of his Passion , transported him in such manner , that without minding what it contained , he kissed it a thousand and a thousand times , and water'd it with his Tears with the softest Expressions that Love can inspire . When he was a little recovered from this Extasie , Boul-Ester made him view the Selam . It was of Isabella Silk , a little bit of Spunge , Myrrhe and Mint . I cannot express to you the excess of joy this afforded Youssuff . It was so great that it robbed him of Speech , and this Ravishment had lasted much longer , if Boul-Ester , as curious as he was satisfied , had not pressed him to give her the meaning of this Ticket , which she guess'd to be very propitious . He did so , and it was as much as to say , I accept of your Vows , and be persuaded of my fidelity , provided you be constant . I pray to Heaven that it would bestow you upon me , and that our Souls may be inseparble . Is it possible , most Lovely Gulbeyaz , did Youssuff then cry out , that my Passion is pleasing to you ? Is it not to amase me , and to laugh at my torment , that you study to ensuare me and engage me further ? And kissing the Handkerchief , he said , Dear Pledge of the fidelity of her I adore , will you be also of the Sincerity of her heart ? Then addressing himself to the Selam , And you , Mute Mouth , do you assuremt of the Continuance of her budding Passion ? That Wish of his Mistress's put him into a sweet Fit of Resvery and Musing , whence he would not have quickly recollected himself , if the Moments had not been pretious to him to prepare for the intended Interview . The Difficulty of this Enterprize made him more than a little fretfull . He despaired of being able to find in the Serrail a Friend so faithfull as to entitle him to be made a Confident in his Amours , and his Impatience augmented sutably as it drew near the so much desired term . After having tormented himself extreamly about the means of bringing his Design about , he remember'd that there was an Old Chief of the Ga●diners called Ousta Mehemmed , who had great Obligations to his Father , and hoping that this consideration would dispose him to serve him , he resolved to go find him out . Ousta Mehemmed , who had a natural Inclination for Youssuff , received him with great estimonies of kindness , and expressed to him a large Sense of Gratitude and Acknowledgment for the Benefits he had received from the Pacha his Father . Though Youssuff was persuaded of Mehemmed's Fidelity , and that he knew that if he could not grant him the favour he meant to ask of him , he would , at least , keep his Secret , he , nevertheless , exacted an Oath from him by the head of the Prophet , that he would never reveal what he had to impart to him . Then he discover'd his flame to his Friend , and did it in such melting terms , that though Mehemmed should not have had a desire to serve him , he could not without much ado have declined it . I Love , said he to him , but what avails my Love , since I may not speak to her I love ? My heart is inflamed by a beauteous Prisoner . The Inside of the Serrail which is the Guardian of this Treasure , is almost impenetrable , or at least the access of it is so difficult , that there is no attempting it without great perils . Yet this is not what witholds me ; My Passion which is boundless would make me attempt the utmost , if the Person I love would suffer it . I have only obtain'd to see her from a little Garden of Flowers , which is under the Sultana's Appartment . My Dear Mehemmed you must facilitate my Entrance into it , It is on you alone that the Success of this Enterprize does depend : I have built my hopes on your Friendship , and if you were formerly in Love , you will know the importance of the Service , and the greatness of the Obligation I shall have to you . This Discourse affected the Old man , and the Impression it made upon his mind , with the remembrance of the Disorder which the like Passion had formerly wrought in his Bosom , made him easily consent to Youssuff's Request , without considering the danger to which he exposed himself in case the Intrigue came to be discovered . He promised to introduce him in the Habit of a Gardiner , and told him that he needed only to take the time which his Mistress should prescribe to him . Youssuff immediately dispatcht Boul-Ester to the Serrail . He did not encharge her with any Letter , the joy he felt being too great to permit him to write , and to hazzard his Enterprize by confiding it to Paper . He only sent Gulbeyaz a little Selam composed of a Pomgranate Kernel , of a little bit of Bread , with Lilly-Convally and Cinnamon . Of which the Sense is this . The Flame which your Love has kindled in my heart , has impos'd an absolute necessity upon me of seeing you . I will do all that is requisite for that purpose , and surmount all the Difficulties that may interpose in this Design . Though Gulbeyaz had a great share of Love , yet had she Reason also . She was detained by the fear that if the Intreague came to be discovered , the Sultana would cause her to be rigorously punished , thus she would and would not . But this notwithstanding there was no help , way she must give to what her Passion exacted . Gulbeyaz promised that the next morning at half an hour past nine a Clock , she would repair into a low-Room which looks upon the Garden , and which is only parted from it by a Wooden Trellis like a Lettice , whence she would open a little Wicket which should be the Signal of her being come ; that this was the most convenient time , for that the Sultana took her Repose after Breakfast , as well as all her Maids , and that the Eunuchs were at the outward Gate for fear of making a noise . After this Declaration Gulbeyaz immediately dispatcht away the Jewess giving her a Box containing a bit of Radish , a Grape-Seed , a little of Brick , twisted Thrid , a Pear , Myrtle and a Flower of Narcissus , of which the Signification is as follows . My Eyes , it is too difficult for me to repair to you , but come to morrow and take the place which I design you in my heart . I beseech Heaven that the Enterprize may succeed , and that I may be free to express to you upon all occasions that I am wholly yours . Youssuf was ready to dye of joy upon receiving this Selam . He was nevertheless uneasy through the Apprehension that his ill fortune might make him lose so favourable an Occasion . He spent the Night in cruel Agitations occasion'd in him by Hope and Fear . At the hour prescribed he repaired to the Serail . His friend Mehemmed made him shift the Sumptuous attire he had on , for that of a Gardiner , which was of Coarse Red Serge , and a Cap a foot long , of a stuff of the same Colour . He put a Spade into his hands , and led him to the Garden , ordering him to dig the Earth , and to work upon a Bed that is under the Windows of the Apartment . At each stroke he gave with his Spade , the Young Gardiner lift up his Eyes , to see if the Wicket of the Lettice did not open , but Unhappily the Sultana falling asleep a little later than ordinarily , our pretended Gardiner had the leisure to digg almost the whole Bed , before that Gulbeyaz could come to the Assignation . You may judge , my Dear Companions , pursued Fatma , how horribly Youssuf was rack'd with impatience . He sometimes heard certain great Flies , that seeking passage beat against the Lettice . He Phancy'd his Mistress view'd him , and that she laugh'd to see him in that Equipage , and at the Martyrdom she made him suffer . When that Gulbeyaz drew near the Window , and that through the Trellis she perceiv'd Youssuf with the Spade in his hand , she no longer doubted of the force of his Love , and tho' she could not without a great deal of trouble see a Man of his rank digging the Earth to have a Minutes Satisfaction of seeing her , this afforded her joy , and without considering what the delay of this happiness made him suffer , she took delight in viewing him for some time before she shew'd her self . As he had been already at work above an hour , and that so harsh an Exercise for so delicate a Body as his , did often oblige him to rest himself upon his Spade , and to cast his Eyes from time to time to the place where his Mistress was to appear , she open'd the Lettice , and plainly perceiv'd her Lovers pain to redouble . The Spade fell from his hands , and he remain'd motionless like a Statue ; but happily he was not taken notice of , by reason Mehemmed , who had foreseen the Consequences of this first Interview , had sent out of the way the other Gardiners that were to work in the same place . No Torture greater than to be in the presence of what we Love , without being suffered to discourse the Party . What Youssuf endured in being depriv'd of that Consolation , by reason of the nearness of the Sultanas Apartment was no less sensible to Gulbeyaz , and what ever scornfull carriage she thought to have affected , she partak'd in all the Vexation that besieg'd him . Luckily the Language by signs , which is much us'd in that Court , and which they both perfectly understand , did so well supply the failure of the voice , that they parted very much satisfied with their Interview . The Eyes , Motions of the Face , the Finger signs and gestures of the two Lovers , said more than the most Eloquent tongue could have done , which is often Mute in such like occasions , and says nothing by reason it finds too much to say . They so very much delighted in this mute Conversation , that it would have lasted much longer , if Gulbeyaz had not heard a walking in the Sultanas Apartment , which obliged her to tip the Wink upon Youssuf to be gone , and she immediately shut the Wicket . During all these Intrigues which I was not then acquainted withall , Boul-Ester who was become the Mutual Confident of their Amours , made many and many a journey to the Serrail . Gulbeyaz took no less delight in hearing from her Dear Youssuff , than he from his lovely Mistress . He was extremely rich , and promised her to use his utmost endeavours , and set all his Friends to work to get her out of the Serrail and marry her , as accordingly happen'd at the long run , after they had both exposed themselves to tryals of Love , which the more dangerous they were , the more they render'd those two Lovers worthy of each other . The Jewess came twice or thrice a week to the Serrail , tho' she sold but very little , but she was abundantly rewarded by these Lovers , whose Presents were sufficient to enrich her . Their Passion became boundless . Youssuf being ever impatient and restless that he did not see his Dear Mistress , would needs attempt a second Interview , wherein he might freely and not by Signs , express by word of Mouth the excess of his Love. He laid his Design with his Confident , reiterating to her great promises if she so order'd matters as to accomplish it , and at the same time he gave her a Purse of two hundred Sequins , worth about five hundred Crowns . Gain thus inviting the Toy-woman she promised to omit no manner of endeavours for the making him successfull in his undertaking . She came to the Serrail . and gave Gulbeyaz a Selam contained in a Cup of a most perfect Agath . It must be own'd that as Love gives wit , it borders also upon folly . Youssuf was minded to engage his Mistress by a rich Present . This Cup was garnished with Circles of Gold enrich'd with Diamonds , and he endeavour'd to persuade her of his Passion by a Selam composed of the hair of his * Pertchem , of a little Rose-colour'd Silk , Aloes wood , Antimony , Nutmeg , a sprigg of Broom , a little bit of Cloth , of Coal , of Pearl-colour'd Silk , and of a little Allum ; which is as much as to say , Pretious Crown of all my wishes , Nightingale whose warbling Notes are alone capable of charming the anguish of my Soul , true Remedy of the evils I endure , consider the tears that flow from my eyes , while that , perhaps , you laugh at my torture ; take pity of me , and mind but the Condition you have reduced me to . Dye I must if you do not bless me with a Letter and afford me a certain Answer . This Selam and the Account Boul-Ester gave Gulbeyaz of Youssuff's piteous Estate , whom she described to her languishing and dying for her , affected her so very much , that being egg'd-on with Love and Compassion , she consented to a second Interview ; but the place and Maiden Garb for Youssuf which the Jewess propos'd to her perplexed her cruelly . She could not well so far comply with Youssuf's Disguise , as to introduce him into her Apartment , which was next of all to the Princess's . This was a ticklish matter , and which stak'd no less than Honour and Life upon the venture of this Intrigue's being discover'd . All these Considerations were sufficiently prevalent to have broken off such a Design , if Love which was still more prevalent had not absolutely crampt them . In short , Gulbeyaz without further pause gave her self to Boul-Ester's Persuasions , and permitted her to bring Youssuf disguis'd as a Maid . She even gave him the assurance of it by a little Selam composed of a little Cucumber , Barley , twined Silk , a bit of Latin-wire , a Grape , Millet , a little Tabby , and a little Bean ; of which now take the Interpretation . Whatever apprehensions I may harbour that you will tumble us into strange Misfortunes if the least Suspition be conceived of your Enterprize , yet do I hope that Fortune will not abandon us . Come , my Eyes ; I am too sensible of your torments , my heart is yours , be persuaded of my Eternal Constancy . It was requisite to deferr it , for five or six days , because that too frequent visits might have been suspected . These wereas so many Ages to the Enamour'd Youssuf , for whom they fitted a very neat Habit , that so his Garb answering the Beauty of his Face , whereon hair did not as yet appear , they might the more easily deceive all the Guards . On the seventh day Boul-Ester and Youssuf disguised as a Maid repaired to the Serrail . The Toy-woman , who was well known , having said that she who accompanied her was her Daughter , tho' she was not wont to bring any along with her , she deceived the Eunuchs who suffering them to enter , they were conducted to Gulbeyaz's Chamber . It would be a hard matter for me , my Dear Companions , to express to you Youssuf's concern and trouble when he found that beauteous Person almost dying in Bed , wherein she had been for two days attackt with a Pestilential Feavour , which is so common in that Countrey . You may judge whether the surprize of so unforeseen an Accident as this was not capable of breaking all the Measures of this Disguise . Little did it want but that he had made himself known ; But Gulbeyaz who kept her judgment entire in the midst of her illness which was of three days standing , entreated her Companions to leave her for one moment alone with this Jewess , to dispatch some business they had together . When Youssuf saw himself alone near Gulbeyaz , he abandon'd himself to his Grief , and forgetting the place where he was , he snatcht off his Veil , and planting himself at his sick Mistress's Beds-head , he bathed her with his tears , without being able to utter a word . Gulbeyaz on her part received such pressing onsets of Love , besides the violence of her Distemper , that having made a general Revolution throughout her whole Body , it gave her a Crists that saved her Life , and little did it want but that she had been Youssuff's Death , who being in no wise to be prevailed with to forsake her Pillow , drew in the air of a Malignant Sweat , which struck him to the very heart and made him fall into a Swoon . Boul-Ester being much perplexed at her pretended Daughter's swooning away , and so much the more through fear of the Consequences that must redound from the unravelling of this Intrigue , if Youssuf's Malady augmenting they should have been sorced to have put him to Bed , called me to help her . When I enter'd Youssuf began to breath again , and to sigh , turning his eyes towards Gulbeyaz , whose name he utter'd with so melting and so Amorous an Accent , that I wonder I did not take notice of the Disguise . I made no Reflexion either upon giving the Sigh or the uttering of Gulbeyaz name , and I attributed to an Amity of a long date , what was only a pure effect of Love. It was not so with Boul-Ester . She was so surpriz'd that all her Senses having forsaken her , and her face having changed colour she fell into a Fit. I was alone and in a very great perplexity . I left the Daughter near Gulbeyaz Bed , and I ran to the Mother , who was not long in that condition . After both of them were come to themselves again , I went to prepare a Cordial for them . The amorous Youssuf improved that moment to the entertaining of his Mistress , which he did with a very weak and languishing voice . Death that pursues me , said he to her , is much less sensible to me , adorable Gulbeyaz , than the grief for your sufferings ; I should with pleasure embrace it if I thought to ease you . This you may be persuaded of , and that I should dye a thousand times rather than abandon you , if in staying here I did not expose you to a much greater peril than your Malady . I go , and I go to die , being no longer able to stand up under so many Griefs . Gulbeyaz being dejected by the force of her Distemper , concern'd at heart for Youssuf's torment , and weakned by the vehemence of her Crisis , could no otherwise answer to such soft assurances save by tears , which made her faint away . Then was it that Youssuf had occasion for all his Reason to resist so many evils at a time , and do nothing to betray the Secret. Gulbeyaz was a long while in that condition , and having begun to breath again , Boul-Ester , who was afraid of some new Accident , endeavour'd to get Youssuf away from the sick fair one and take him along with her . He could not resolve upon so harsh a separation , which he had a dread might become eternal ; fain would he have expired before the eyes of her he loved . However he could do no otherwise than obey his Mistress's Orders , who not being able to speak made a sign to him to be gone , and presented him her hand , which he kissed , protesting to her that he would not long survive her . All the Accidents that had newly accompanied so perillous an Interview , were not sufficient to counter-ballance the happiness of these Lovers . For as ill luck would have it upon passing through one of the Gates of the Serrail , where there are Baltadgi's , who are the Servants without , one of them suspecting by the Gate of the feigned Maid , which she no longer studied to make answerable to what she represented , by reason of her grief and weakness , that it was a Disguise , stopp'd her by the arm . Boul-Ester who had ever a ready wit , said nothing to the Baltadgi for fear of drawing others thither , but making up to him she gave him a Ring which she took off her Finger , & slipt it secretly into his hand to oblige him to open the other that held Youssuf . Thus she set that poor Lover at Liberty , who thought much less of the present danger than of Gulbeyaz piteous condition . As soon as Youssuf was return'd to his Palace , he went to Bed , where he was seiz'd with a violent Feavour . He was so circumspect in all that concerned his adorable Mistress , that he durst not send for Boul-Ester , out of fear of giving a suspicion of their Correspondence , and he could not trust in any of his Domestiques . Four days were spent in this manner , during which our two Lovers suffer'd incomparably more by having no tydings of each other , than by the pangs of their Distemper ; but at the long run that of Youssuf coming to Extremity , he would needs make use of the time he sancy'd he had to live , to bid a last farewell to his Mistress , and without thinking of ought else , he caus'd Paper and Ink to be brought him , being not in a Condition to do otherwise . Now this is what he wrote , I dye for you , Incomparable Gulbeyaz , and Death is so much the more Wellcome to me , for that I hope its Cause which is your Crisis , will be the Prolongation of your Days . If I had a certain assurance of this , I should dye without Concern . My Malady is hastening me away , and I employ the little time I have left , in giving you testimonies of a Love I shall carry with me to my Grave ; happy if that last Moment can better convince you of it , than years of sighs and tears have done . Adieu , Most Lovely of all your Sex , Live and remember that the same Love , which restores you to Life gives me my Death . As soon as he had finisht his Letter , thinking he was at the last moment of his Life , he sent it to Boul-Ester with the ring he wore on his finger , whereon was Engrav'd her Name and his own , upon a very neat Ruby , and he was seiz'd with new Convulsions and Redoublings of his Feavour , which depriv'd him at the same time both of his Reason and Speech . He continued two days in this Condition , which having occasion'd a General Report of his being Dead , this made Boul-Ester to carry this false and killing News to Gulbeyaz . That Amiable Person whose Crisis had freed from Danger , the sweat having dispers'd the tumours of the Pestilence , was Sicker in Mind than Body . Youssuf's silence , and Boul-Esters deferring to go and give her an Account of all that pass'd since their parting , put into her sad forebodings and mortal Disquiets . She wept all the Day , and spent the Nights either in restless tossings , Dreams or Visions , which seem'd to prognosticate to her the misfortune she dreaded . She had chosen me out for her Confident since Youssuf's Interview . I endeavour'd to divert her so to drive away the fatal thoughts that tormented her . Nothing was capable of giving her Comfort , but it was still worse with her when that Boul-Ester came to the Serrail to acquit her self of the Commission given her by Youssuf . As soon as Gulbeyaz saw her , she with Extreme Earnestness inquired how he did ; but the Jewess's silence , and the tears she could not keep in , gave that Impatient Fair-One to understand what she had to say to her . Ah , cry'd she , Youssuf is no more ; and at the same time she swoon'd away in my Arms. After she was come to her self , Toussufs Letter and Ring , which Boul-Ester put into her hands , without being able to utter a Word , seem'd a certain Confirmation of the misfortune she had dreaded . Gulbeyaz did several times kiss those dear Pledges of her Lovers Affection ; she watered them with her tears , and hung the Ring at her Neck , to shew that she devoted her self to the Manes of what she loved . Then she remain'd for a while without speaking . Her face became red , and she burst out into such touching Complaints , as would have mov'd the most insensible to Compassion . And God knows how long she would have continued them , if they had not been interrupted by the coming in of her Companions , and which oblig'd Boul-Ester , to withdraw . The Constraint she put upon her self in curbing her transports , cast her into a new fit of a Feavour and that too so violent , that she could never have recover'd it , but for the happy News . I brought her the next day . Boul-Ester was no sooner got out of the Serrail , but that she ran to Youssufs Palace , where she expected the Confirmation of the Account of his Death . Joy succeeded to Sadness ; they told her that he not only breath'd but that he was perfectly recovered from the Condition she had left him in , and that the Pestilence having made its way thro' a great tumour under the Armpit , he was held to be out of Danger ; It was impossible however to speak to him as yet , but the Zealous Jewess without staying for that , return'd the next Morning as soon as she could , to impart to me this happy News . I fail'd not to acquaint Gulbeyaz with it , who would needs see Boul-Ester for certainty's sake . When she had no longer any reason to doubt of it , she put on a smiling Countenance , and we began from that Moment to perceive in her Eyes all the tokens of an approaching Recovery . Youssuf on his side no sooner saw his health so well restored as to permit him to bestow his Cares upon his Passion , but that he set his thoughts wholly upon securing to himself the Possession of his Mistress . In order to this he made his Address to Gulistan Kadun his Mother in Law , a Woman of Extraordinary Beauty , and an infinite Deal of Wit. She was the Daughter of Sultan Ibrahim , and by Consequence the Grand Signior Regnants Sister , but by another Mother than the Valide ; and his Highness according to his Custom of thus disposing of his Sisters and Daughters , had given this for a Second Wife to Mehemmed Seraskier Pacha , the Father of Youssuf , on the score of his vast Riches . She was still very young , and dwelt in a Serrail , in the Countrey since the Death of her Husband Mehemmed Pacha ; and as she had ever very much valued Youssufs Merit , and always retain'd a most peculiar regard for him , she immediately became affected at the Confidence he put in her , by imparting to her his Adventures , and promis'd to spare no manner of means that might tend to render him happy . She so earnestly besought the Valide , and the Grand Signior himself to bestow Gulbeyaz upon her as a Slave , for whom she had a mighty Inclination , without telling them her Design or Youssufs Passion , that she obtain'd her . Thus Gulbeyaz left the Serrail to go to Gulistan Kadun . This Generous Princess to shew the Grand Signior , and the Valide her Gratitude and Acknowledgment for their Present , and the Esteem she had for it , gave Gulbeyaz , as of her own accord , and with a rich Portion , to Youssuf-Bey , her Son in Law , who , as you may believe , found no reluctance in himself to give his consent to it , and thus did she take delight in uniting those two Lovers , whom we now know to enjoy all the Sweets and Comforts of a perfect Affection . Fatma thought she could not better end her History than in telling all her Companions that she wish'd the like happiness might befall them . They unanimously answer'd , Amin. This Cry having been heard by Tacham Sultan , and Bournaz Hatidge Sultan , made them send to inquire what was the matter . Fatma , who had with an admirable readiness of Wit a facetious jocund humour , went to tell them that having tun'd out a lay to their Prosperity , as it is commonly practic'd in the time of great Festivals , her Companions had answer'd all together , and with a zeal equal to her own , Amin. This Extremely pleas'd the two Sultana's , who to reward them distributed among them several pieces of Stuffs , Jewells , and other Gallantries . This is what the Old Jewess told me of the Adventures of the Beauteous Gulbeyaz . 'T was she who gave me an Exact Memorial of all the Selams I have made Fatma to rehearse in the relation of the fore-going History . What is left for me to do is to impart to the Reader the Testimonials I brought from Constantinople , both of the Common use of Selams , and of the Truth of the Story . ATTESTATIONS . HAving seen and Examined the Work of the Turkish Secretary , I have found nothing therein but what is conformable to the things whereof it treats , which I affirm thro' my having practis'd them my self , and seen them practis'd by the most Intelligent Persons in that matter . At Pera , lez Constantinople the Eighteenth day of April , 1681. Bekir Tchelebi , the Son of Hassan . Another from an Officer of the Artillery . AFter that the Mercifull Creator of the World had bless'd me so far as to suffer me to return from the Campagne of Cheherim , in company of many innumerable Legions of Soldiers faithfull to the Law of God , and Slaves , like me , of the Sovereign Emperour of Lands and Seas , King of Kings , Distributer of Crowns , Refuge , Azilum , and Protector of all Nations , who with the Dreadfull Mahometan Spear , whose Conduct he had confided to the piercing Eye and invincible Arm of the most High and most glorified Lord the Supreme V●zir Cara Mustafa Pacha , comes from tumbling into the Abyss of Hell , and from dethroning the Infidels from the Throne of Pride and Blasphemy , which they had scandalously erected to themselves in the inexpugnable Fortress of Cheherim , which we have subdued and reduced to Dust , putting to rout and in Confusion all the Infidels that had the temerity to go about to oppose the Exploits of the Tryumphant . After , I say , having seen with my own Eyes all these Prodigi●s which appertain only to the sole Nation of the True Believers by the Mercy and infinite Graces of the Almighty , and by the Merit of the Chief of the Prophets , I have recreated my self after the fatigues I underwent during that severe Campagne by an abode of near two years in the Center of Happiness and Pleasures , I mean the Excellent and Antient City of Constantinople , which is at this day , as it was at all times , the Principal and most worthy Subject of the Admiration of Mortals , and the Place of Residence of the most August and ever-victorious Family of the Ottomans , Head , Foundation , and Formidable Support of the Mussulman Law. I have employ'd my self in several Exercizes as well of the Body as of the Mind , but as among these latter I have m●t with none that have been more sensible to me than in the practice of the things of which the Turkish Secretary gives an Account as well real as succinct and diverting , I have found my self obliged without otherwise knowing the Author's Person in any manner , to give my Approbation to his Work , and to the History of Youssuf-Bey , which he has added thereu to , and which has made too much noise in this Country , for any Doubt to be harboured of it . This is what I affirm and certify by the Impression of my Seal . At Tophana of Constantinople the twenty nineth Day of March , One Thousand Six Hundred and Eighty . The Servant of those that fear God , Osman-Chorvadgi the Son of Cara Eyub , Another . We have examined the History of Gulbeyaz and her Lover , and the rest of the Work of the Turkish Secretary , according to the Report and just Interpretation that has been made to Us thereof . Wherefore We give it our Approbation . The humble Hatidge , the Wife of Hassan-Aga dwelling at Constantinople in the Quarter of Comcapi ; the poor Emine , Daughter of Suleiman Bey , in her House at Tophana ; the indigent Salhe , Wife granted to Mustafa Tchelebi , Son of Emir-Bektach , lodging at Scudaret , near the Grand Mosch ; Aiche , the slighted Wife of Abtelrahman-Bey , Son of Hussein , dwelling at Cassompacha , behind the Arsenal of the Gallies ; Alime , Nourou , and Rabbie , Wives of Kieur Ibrahim Pacha . The following Catalogue contains the Phrases which the Turks express in sending or in giving themselves the things that signify them . They would for example note to a Person , that he has the Power to dispose of them as he pleases ; they will find this thought in the Number 19. of the Catalogue , and then a Pear which is the Selam , or the thing which they must send to give to understand that one has the Power to dispose of them . Or if you send them Coal , they will seek in the Dictionary which is after the Catalogue for the word Coal , whose explication will be markt to them in the Catalogue by the Cypher 83. and they will find that it signifies , I consent to dye provided you ever enjoy a most happy Life . And the same with all the other things that may be sent or received , whether that there be but one alone or several together according to the more or less of what you have a mind to make known . It is also to be observed that to supply the things of which they shall have need , having them not at hand , they may write and send upon a bit of Paper just as many Cyphers as are in the Catalogue , as they would signify thoughts that should suit with them , which they would interpret in the usual manner of decyphering Letters , provided that each have a Book at his Elbow . CATALOGUE . 1. TO give to understand , We are both of the same mind , I approve very much of what you say , they must send an Ambrette Flowe , 2. I weep continually , but you make a mock of my tears . A Rose , either the Leaf or bit of the Rose-Tree . 3. I Swear to you that , &c. Jessemin , either Flower or Leaf . 4. You are a Flower , a Beauty beyond Compare ; a long long time have I lov'd you , without daring to let you know it . A Pink or the Stalk of a Pink. 5. The torments you make me suffer are the occasion that my Body is become as dry as a Tooth-pick . A Tulip . 6. Let me partake of your Carsses . A Violet . 7. You must surmount all the Obstacles that may interpose in your Designs . Liricumfancy . 8. I will in all occasions give you proofs that I am your Slave . A Narcissus . 9. Have a care that God do not punish you for the evil you may wish me , as I wish he may reward you for your good intentions . A Hyacinth . 10. I will do for you things which you your self shall be Witness of . A Lilly. 11. I 'le Answer to you for all Events . A Wind-Flower . 12. You must be perfectly Discreet . A Dazy . 13. The more pains we shall have , the more we shall relish Pleasures . A Tuberose . 14. We are cross'd by many People . The Flower Paunsy . 15. Let nothing trouble you . A Mary-Gold . 16. My Constancy is weakned by your InfidelIties . An Orange-Flower . 17. I know that you have sufficiently deceiv'd me . A Peach . 18. Don't think on me . An Apple . 19. You may dispose of me as you please . A Pear . 20. Pish ! Your making so much ado is but meer Fooling . A Quince . 21 Why do you torment me at this rate ? A Wallnut . 22. We are broke off . A Hasel-nut . 23 I was always in hopes you would have some kindness for me . The Kernel of à Nut. 24. Why are you so scornfull ? A Gallnut . 25. I am angry with you . A Pistacho . 26. Bestow some small favour upon us . A Cherry 27. I am quite spent with Anguish and D jection . A Plum. 28. I know how matters stand with you . A Pome-Citron . 29. May all the Mischiefs in the World over-whelm you . An Orange . 30. None has Compassion of Me. A Fig. 31. It is impossible to find any one that Excells you in Beauty and Goodness . An Apricock . 32. I am intoxicated and distracted with my Love. A Chessnut . 33. I very much fear that the Suspicion which People may have of our Concerns , will occasion their being fully detected . A Cowcumber . 34. You 'l never attain your Designs . A Date . 35. My Heart burns with Love. A Pomegranate . 36. Draw a little near us . A Sorb Apple . 37. I begin to perceive that if you grow Luke-warm , I shall grow indifferent . An Almond . 38. You have made me endure sufficiently . An Apple or slip of Cyprus . 39. Let your Inclination for me follow its own Dictates . A Jujube Plum. 40. I hope to see your Funeral . An Olive . 41. My Eyes , ( as one says my Heart , my Dear Soul ) A Green or Dry Grape . 42. Change abode to see us the more conveniently . Rosemary . 43. May God bestow you upon me . Mirrhe . 44. If you act sincerely , so much the better for you . Marjerom . 45. Leave off those ways of yours . Wild Time. 46. I will bring you up in my Bosome . Sweet Bazile . 47. Let 's Love with as much passion as sincerity , and let our Souls be inseparable . Mint . 48. Do you dwell by your self ? Parsley . 49. Your Slaves , Your Servants , are not they to be suspected ? Sorrel . 50. Inconstancy must be punish'd . Fennel . 51. If you study silly Evasions , you will find Numberless Difficulties . Lettice . 52. I assure you you are the most in the wrong in the World. Beats . 53. Let 's have Condescention for each other . Nettle . 54. Leave me , Perfidious Wretch . Ivy. 55. What reason can you have to authorize all you do against me ? Colewort . 56. Do but so much as once glance upon the unhappy Condition I am in . Woollen-Cloath . 57. I grow weary of your Importunities . Linnen . 58. Tell me where your House is ? Glaz'd-Callicoe , or Coarsc-Cloth . 59. We shall be together to morrow . Canvas . 60. Methinks you have droll'd sufficiently upon me . Velvet . 61. No Body vouchsafes to look upon me . Satin . 62. My Heart is theirs I Love. Tabby . 63. This Cheat suffices us . Taffety . 64. Your Love has fetter'd me . Cambrick . 65. I leave my Concerns to Destiny . Twisted Silk . 66. You have robb'd me of my very Senses . White Silk . 67. Agreeable Nightingale of my Bosom , who charms the Melancholly of my Soul. Rose-Colour'd-Silk . 68. Write me a Letter . Pearl-Colour'd-Silk . 69. I consent that you have your Revenge , your Turn . Issabella Silk . 70. We are fallen out . Grass-Green-Silk . 71. There 's no doing what is impossible . Seagreen-Silk . 72. You have chosen a Convenient Place . Gall-green-Silk . 73. You have taken my Liberty , take also my Soul. Cherry Colour'd Silk . 74. Know that you are the cause of my Torments . Peach-Flower Coloured Silk . 75. Rid your self of all ill People . Sulphur-Coloured Silk . 76. You must not think to use me so scornfully . Crimson-Coloured Silk . 77. Is there any Conscience in using us as you do . A Crimson-Violet Silk . 78. I am fall'n Extremely in Love. Blew-Silk . 79. Since that I love you I am hated and envyed by all the World. Violet-Silk . 80. Let 's Embrace . Yellow-Silk . 81. There 's a great Difference between your way of Loving and Mine . Musk-Silk . 82. I am ready to sacrifice my self for you . A Mirrour or piece of Glass . 83. I consent to dye provided you ever enjoy a very happy Life . A Coal . 84. Let 's lay our heads upon one and the same Pillow . A Stone . 85. I shall cost you a great deal . A Pistol or other piece of Gold. 86. I have not any proof of the sincerity of your Words . A Piece of Money of 5 pence value . 87. Take all due Courses to have me , and come to me . A piece of thres Aspres , or a three pence . 88. Keep always a good Understanding . An Aspre , or a Penny. 89. Don't engage us in a Difficult Bus'ness . Barley . 90. Precious Crown of all my Wishes . Hair. 91. Do not slight those that submit themselves to you in all . The Twig or Wood of a Vine . 92. My Face is like the Earth which is at your Feet ; my Submission to you is infinite . A Vine-Leaf . 93. You are a Treasure of Youth and Beauty . A Grape . 94. All my Riches are at your Disposal . Corral . 95. Let 's not let slip any occasion of improving our Pleasure as far as we are able . A Spoon . 96. Summons all your Wit together in your Head ; Recall all your Senses : do but reflect upon the Course you take . Box. 97. You kill me with laughing . A Pipe. 98. I love you even to Madness . White Wax . 99. D' ye consent to what is just and reasonable ? Aniseed . 100. Send me a certain Answer . Pepper . 101. Know that I love you . Ginger . 102. My Heart passionately desires you . Sugar . 103. Though you be cruel to me , I 'le be faithfull to you . Sugar-Candy . 104 : I suffer much , while you have only Pleasure . Nutmeg . 105. I 'le be at all the necessary Charge . Cinnamon . 106. D' you find in your self any kind Disposition for me . A Clove . 107. The Bow of your Love cannot draw , you are inflexible to my Entreaties . Wheat . 108. You are a perpetual inconstancy : You go from fair one to fair one . Bruised Wheat . 109. I am sensible to your Torments . Millet . 110. I have lost my Senses by loving you too much . A Pea. 111. Keep me in your Bosom . A great Bean. 112. Come to our house this Evening , I am wholly yours . A little Bean. 113. Will not all the Service I have done you in any wise avail ? A Leek . 114. Have a care how you expose us to Peoples railleries . Rice . 115. Answer me sincerely and without Affectation . Allum . 116. I desire you to pass a day at our House . Incense . 117. You 'l ruine us if you push on your Design . Sulphur , or a Match . 118. We go to the Bath to morrow . A Sweet-Ball . 119. Give me your Soul. Amber . 120. The Difficulties I start are the better to fix our concerns . Musk 121. You are the true Remedy of all my evils . Aloes Wood. 122. The Sun of my Life . A Sugar Cane , or Powder Sugar . 123. You are an Inconstant , you never keep your promise . Common Wood. 124. I in no wise consent to what you propose to me . Glass . 125. I suffer much for that we are at a distance from each other . A Comb. 126. I grow daily leaner and leaner , but your Plumpness does visibly augment . Iron . 127. Come to me . Copper or Lattin Wire . 128. It 's easy for you to deceive me . Pewter . 129. I must by all means have the honour of seeing you . Bread. 130. I only breath Revenge . Meal . 131. Come and see us when you have an opportunity . Porcelain . 132. I have undeniable proofs of your deceiving me , and of your Infidelity . Bone. 133. How d' you do ? Carpet-Work . 134. Think no more of your former Inclinations . Earth . 135. Come and see me to morrow . Brick or Tile . 136. I act with all possible Sincerity . Tobacco . 137. Is 't possible I 'me so unhappy as to have displeas'd you . Tow. 138. You have afforded me mighty satisfaction . Ivory . 139. I 'de fain speak with you . Cummin , a small black Grain . 140. I shall ever pride in being your Slave . Matt. 141. I desire nothing of you , and I abandon you to your Destiny . Straw . 142. Take me and carry me along with you . A Tooth-pick . 143. Wherein have I fail'd ? Packthread . 144. Have you need of Illustration ? Raw Thrid . 145. Take place in my Heart . Common Thrid . 146. I 'le stick t' ye as close as the Button to your Vest. A Needle . 147. The more violence you use , the less will you prevail upon my mind . A Pin. 148. Submit to no Body . A Button . 149. I advise you to suffer no longer for the Love of me . A Pen to Write . 150. Get at a distance from those that may perplex you . A Musket Match . 151. I beg of you to pardon me . Marble-Paper . 152. As long as I live I shall wish for nothing else . Linnen . 153. Don't trust in so many People . Paper . 154. All you urge to me as good Reasons , seems to me a meer Imposture ▪ Parchment . 155. If you have several Mistresses , it 's better to quit them all than to enjoy but one of them . Lime . 156. Turn not your Eyes from me , do not forsake me . Gold-Wire . 157. You are a Person that wears two Faces , you betray me . Gold twisted upon Silk . 158. Command me to dye and I am ready to do it . Cizzars . 159. If you reduce me to Despair , I shall commit some mad thing A Knife . 160. What reason have you to laugh so ? Soot . 161. You are a known Lyar. Spanish - Leather . 162. I have not yet sufficiently seen you , and I cannot sate my self with seeing you . A Spiders Web. 163. Come and dwell with us . Cotton . 164. Your Absence kills me , and the Difficulties of seeing you plunge me into Despair . Wool. 165. I should never have thought this of you . Wadd . 166. My Eyes dissolve into tears . Antimony . 167. You have reduced me into a perpetual Languishment . Soap . 168. Come hither , Fair Maid . Mastic . 169. Let 's see one another sometimes . Garlick . 170. Never speak to me , you appear hideous to me . Onion . 171. It 's a very hard matter to find you . A Radish , or bit of Radish . 172. Remember to keep your word . Spunge . 173. Pity me once at least . A Sprigg of Broom . 174. Rustical , Inhumane , Salvage , Cruel . Humain Nail . 175. You 've forgot those happy Moments , when you took delight in listening to my Addresses , and in indulging them . Marble . 176. If Fidelity dies in you , I 'le produce Inconstancy in my self ; If you change me , I 'le change you . White Iron . 177. In giving my self to you , I have robb'd my self of my-self . Yellow Wax . 178. I could not find out where you dwell . A Nail . A Dictionary of Flowers , Fruits , Stuffs , and all other things that may be sent to express the thoughts that are contained in the foregoing Catalogue . A AN Almond . 37. Aloes Wood. 121. Alum . 115. Amber . 119. Ambrette-flower . 1. Anis , 90. Antimony . 167. Apple . 18. Apple of Cyprus . 38. Apricock . 31. B BRoom , or bit of a Broom . 174. Button , 149. Brick . 135. Box-Wood , 96. Bean , Great Bean. 111. Bean , Little Bean , 112. Barley , 89. Bone , 133. Bread , 129. Brimstone , 117. Brimstone-Match , 117. C CArpet , 133. Cambresine , 84. Canvas , 59. Corn , 107. Corn , Beaten or Malted , 108. Cinamon , 105. Cherry , 26. Coal , 83. Chesnut , 32. Colewort , 55. Cyprus-Wood , 38. Cizars , 159. Cowcumber , 33. Colours , see Silk . Corral , 94. Cotton , 164. Cloth , 56. Cloves , 106. Comb , 125. Cobweb , 163. Crows-toe , or Jacint . 9. Cummin , 140. D DAce-fruit , 34. Dazy-flower , 12. E EArth . 134. F FEnnel , 50. Fig , 30. Franckinsence , 116. G GOld-Wyre , 157. Garlick , 170. Gall-Nut , 24. Glazed-Callicoe , 58. Glass , or breaks of a Glass , 124. Ginger , 101. Grain of Raisin , 93. Gold & Silk Thread , 158. Gold Money , See piece of Gold. H HAir , 90. Hirse , or Millet , 109. I IVory , 139. Iron , 126. Iron , or Lattin-Wire , 127. Jacint , or Crows-Toe , a Flower , 9. Jasmin , 3. Jujubes-fruit , 39. Ivy , 54. K KNife , 160. L LIne of Flax , 153. Line of Tow , mixt together , 138. Lilly , 10. Lime , 156. Lemond , 28. Lettice , 51. Looking-Glass , 82. Liricumfancy , 7. Lentil , 113. Linnen Cloth , 57. Leafs of Vine , 92. M MArble , 176. Marjerom , 44. Marygold , 15. Marbled Paper , 152. Mastick , a Sweet-Gumm , 169. Mint , 47. Mat , 141. Match , 117. Meal , 104. Millet , or Hirse , 109. Mony of Gold , See piece of Gold. Musk , 120. Myrtle , 43. N NAil , Finger Nail , 175. Nail , or Spicker , 179. Narcissus , 8. Needle , 147. Nettle , 33. Nutmeg , 104. O OLive , 40. Onion , 171. Orange , or bit of Orange-Tree , 29. Orange-flower . 16. Ordinary Wood , 123. P PAck thread , 144. Paper , 154. Parchment , 155. Parsley , 48. Paunsy-flower , 14. Peach , 17. Pear , 19. Pearl , 93. Pease , 110. Pen , or Quill to write with , 150. Penny , See piece of a Penny. Pepper , 100. Perry , Drink . 52. Pewter , 128. Piece of Gold Money , or bits of Gold , 85. Piece of 5 pence , 86. Piece of 3 pence , 87. Piece of a penny , 88. Pin , 148. Pink-flower , 4. Pipe , 97. Pistacho , 25. Pistol , a Gold Pistol , 85. Plum , 27. Pomegranate , 35. Porcelain , 131. Powder-Sugar , 122. Q QUill to Write with , or Pen. 150. Quince , 20. R RAdish , 172. Raisin , 41. Raw ( or Undyed ) Thread , 145. Rice , 114. Rose , 2. Rosemary , 42. Running ( or creeping ) Thyme , a Sweet Herb , 45. S SAttin , 61. Scent ( or Sweet ) Ball , 118. Silk of Blew Colour , 78. Silk of Cherry Colour , 73. Silk of Crimson Purple Colour , 77. Silk of Gall green Colour , 72. Silk of Isabella Colour , 69. Silk of Musk Colour , 81. Silk of Peach-flower Colour , 74. Silk of Pearl Colour , 68. Silk of Red Colour , 76. Silk of Rose-Colour , 67. Silk of Sea-green Colour , 71. Silk of Sulphur ( or Brimstone-Colour , 75. Silk , that is twisted , 65. Silk of Violet , ( or common Purple ) Colour , 79. Silk of White Colour , 66. Silk of Yellow Colour , 80. Silk of Young-Grass-green Colour , 70. Small-nut , 22. Small-nut , without shell , 23. Soap , 168. Soot , 161. Sorb Apple , 36. Sorrel , 49. Spanish-Leather , 162. Spoon , 95. Spunge , 173. Stone , 84. Straw , 142. Sugar , 102. Sugar-Candy , 103. Sulphur , 117. Sweet-Bazil , 46. T TAbby , 62. Taffeta , or Sarsenet , 63. Thread , 146. Thread , undyed Thread , 145. Tile , 135. Tin , 177. Tobacco , 136. Tooth-pick , 143. Tow , 137. Tow and Line-Wax mixt together , 138. Tubereuse-flower , 13. Tulip , 5. Twigs , Vine-Wood , 91. Twisted Silk , See Silk . V VElvet , 60. Vine-Leaf , 92. Vine-Wood , 91. Violet-flower , 6. W WAd , 166. White-Wax , 98. Wind-flower , 11. Wood , Common Wood , 123. Y YEllow-Wax , 178. After having shewn you in Gulbeyaz History , the strict manner of confining Women in the Serrail , I thought that the Turkish Secretary could not well dispense himself from giving you some knowledge of the place where they spend their Life , though it is no easie matter to attain to such knowledge of it as is certain . For indeed people never go thither to make their Court , nor do they attend at the Sultana's Toilets . Nevertheless I cannot but flatter my self that I have got very exact Instructions as well from the Eunuchs and Bostangies that were my Friends , and shew'd me the accessible parts of the Serrail , as from several Jewish Women , and others that have been in its most impenetrable parts , or who have exactly learnt what is there done from the Sultana's themselves that had been taken out thence to be put into the Old Serrail after Sultan Ibrahim's Death . As I as well sifted as frequented these various Acquaintances with more ease and convenience than any other could have done during seven years continual abode in Constantinople , and having the Turkish Tongue in pretty good perfection , I would give an ample and large description of all I could be inform'd of even to the least circumstances , if I was not willing to spare the Reader the repetition of what so many others before me have written upon the matters of Turky , and particularly Monsieur Tavernier , and Monsieur de la Croia , formerly Secretary of the Embassy at Constantinople in his Memoirs . Wherefore I shall now only dwell upon the secrets I could attain to , concerning the Sultana's and Women that serve them . Of the Women Of the Serrail in general , and of the Sultana's that have partaken in the favours of the Emperour . THE Harem , or Women's Apartment , is divided into several Chambers , where they are separated and kept with extreme Regularity . All the Maidens , there confined , ought to have been taken in Countries Enemies to the the Ottomans , as Poland , Russia , Moscovy , Circassia , Mingrolia , and others . The Turks , Greeks and Armenians , Subjects of the Grand Signior may not be confined there , and His Highness cannot without Adultery admit them to the Imperial Bed , unless he has married them , which is contrary to the Laws of the Empire , which forbid the Sultans to ally themselves , or in any wise share the Soveraign Power with Women , but permits them to have as many Slaves as they think convenient . Those Emperours have rather chosen to take this course , and this reason is said to have obliged Sultan Murad to cause an Armenian Woman to be strangled , with whom he was desperately in Love , because that she being become with Child , he was oblig'd to execute through a Devoir of Religion what the Law of the Empire forbad him . And thus was he constrain'd to make his Love give way to Reason , so to avoid a popular Commotion , which might have drawn on his Ruin. The Dorters where those Unvoluntary Virgins dwell are long and spacious Chambers . There are great Scaffolds on each side , and separations of Curtains that are drawn by day , and by night form a kind of Bed. They are two and two in each little Apartment , lye by themselves , and their Beds are parted by that of the Eunuch who looks to and serves them . The Mattresses , Cushions and Quilts , which are very fine do by day make the Ornament of the place : At their rising they are obliged to range them in form of Sofa , where they work in the day time . Besides the Eunuchs , there are ten or twelve old Women in each Chamber , who have an eye to the Conduct of these young Women , who are watcht as exactly as if they were Nuns . These old Women are called Boula ' , their Functions consist in instructing the New-comers in the particular Exercises , and all the good Grace and Breeding of the Serrail . They have their Sofa at the further ends of the Chambers , whence they see all that passes there . They rigorously chastise those Maidens upon the least fault , and have no more Indulgence for this fair Sex , than the white Eunuchs have for the Pages . Each Chamber has its particular Officers . The Odabachi commands all the rest ; she wears three Poniards at her side , which distinguish her , and shew her Authority . The Bulukbachi's are a sort of Female Brigadieres , and govern a number of Maidens , and wear a Heron's top in their Head-gear which denote their Character . All these Maidens are Virgins ; and generally perfectly well taught before they are introduc'd into the Serrail . The Jews buy them very young , have them learn'd to Dance , Sing , Embroider , and other things capable of pleasing , and sell them for considerable sums to the Pacha's and other Lords who present them to the Sultan . He sees them all at their coming in , and appoints them what Chamber he pleases , or sometimes he sends them to some one of his Favourites . It is the greatest Misfortune that can befal a Maiden to enter into the service of a Sultana ; not but that their Mistresses Love and Caress them : They raise them up to Places about them , and bestow great advantages upon them : But unluckily the more they render themselves worthy of the Sultana's kindnesses , the less worthy are they of those of the Grand Signior ; the years they consume in acquiring the favour of the Ladies , wear out the brightness of their Beauty , and all that might render them recommendable to the Sultan . His Highness maintains them ; They have two Habits a year furnish'd by the Treasury , and their food comes out of his Kitchin. Besides this they have twenty five Aspers Pay a day for their small Expences , and Liberalities from time to time . Their hours are regulated as well as those of the Pages . They rise very early to pray , they go not to the Mosch , One of the ancientest of them says Prayers . These old Women are Otourak or Veteranes . They are Maidens that being past the Age of Marrying , devote themselves absolutely to the service of the Serrail , and renounce going thence ; their Pay is augmented , and they mount to the Places of the Chamber . Their daily Occupation after Prayers and Breakfast , is teaching to Read and Write ; which they do with great success . The other hours are appointed for Handy-works , Embroidering , Sowing and Spinning . They are not suffer'd to talk . They eat with as much frugality and modesty as silence . They are ten to each Dish . One of them has the care of laying the Cloth , of going to receive the Meat from the Eunuchs hands , to whom the Zulufli Balt adgis give them , and to wash the Dishes ; this is the Office of the Last-comer . They have no other pleasure than that which they take at the Meetings and Assemblies which the Grand Signior causes to be held for his Diversion . If this Emperour goes to any of his Pallaces either by Land or Sea , he ever takes along some Favourite and Maids . They hang Cloths eight foot high on each side the way , from the Door of the Womens Apartment to the Coaches or Galliotts : The Bostangi's hold them behind , and the Women pass without being seen . The Eunuchs are very careful to shut close up the Boots and Doors of the Coaches , and to keep at the Cabbin Doors of the Galliots , to which the Rowers turn their backs . The Grand Signior does very often go out with them into the Gardens , and in that case a Halvet is made , that is to say , Prohibitions against any Man's coming as near as sight can distinguish an Object . If it be at Constantinople , Guards are plac'd both by Land and Sea. Nay , even those are forbidden that cry in the Moschs near that place where the Halvet is to mount into the Minurets for fear the height of those Towers might occasion the discovering of something ; and if through imprudence any one should mount them , and that he was perceiv'd by the Eunuchs , who with Prospective-Glasses look on all sides , there would be no Pardon for him . While the Sultan reposes in some Arbour or Grotto with his Favourites , the Maids run , leap and play a thousand Apish Tricks , to divert him , and inspire him with Love. They horribly plague the Eunuchs , who are armed with Bows and Arrows to shoot at the first unhappy wretch that should have the curiosity to peep : They pull off their Turbants , which they throw into the water , and often tread them themselves under foot , as well out of Revenge for the severity of those Monsters , as to make the Sultan laugh . A Maid having been for several years in the Serrail , and seeing no likelyhood of Fortune for her with the Grand Signior ; or the Sultanesses , may request the favour of going out and marrying ; she presents a short Petition to his Highness , who does not refuse it , and if the Sultaness bears her any good will , or that the Maid has , as we say , Friends at Court , she has a Dowry given her ; they make her her Bundle , they give her Jewels , which she joyns to all she had been able to get during her abode in the Serrail by her Pay , her Industry , and the Emperours Liberalities . Till then they keep from the Maids all the precious Stones and other Jewels which they have been able to purchase , and leave them only what pleases the Sultan ; but they precaution themselves by sale , and by sending them underhand to some one to keep them . If any one on the contrary is so unhappy as to have displeas'd the Grand Signior , or any Favourite , or that she has committed some other fault , they turn her not away as they do a Page , but they banish her to the old Serrail , where the has leisure to deplore her misfortune . The Turks call this Chastisement Surgan , Banishment , Exile . Those who die in the Serrail without Relations , which is common , since they are Slaves from all sorts of Nations , have for their Heiress the Sultaness they serve , if not , their things are sold , and the money thence arising is put into the Treasury of the Chamber . The Accession of an Emperour to the Throne is immediately followed with Presents from all the great Lords , who amongst other things chuse out the handsomest Maidens they can find , that so if haply some one should have Charms sufficient to engage their Sultan , He that presented her may have a powerful Protection , and a continual Advocate with him . The generality of those great Officers do extreamly want such a Protection to shelter themselves from the Tempests , which the Complaints of their Justices do often bring down upon their heads . All those who partake in the Grand Signior's Favours , and are admitted to the Imperial Bed ; are not thereby Hasseki or Favourites : This is a Title which is only conferr'd upon those that have had Children , the others are barely stiled Odalik , Chamber-Maids or Concubines . The Hasseki and the Odalik have all their Trains , and as many Slaves as they need to serve them . Their happiness is annexed to the Emperour's Life , and the Quality of Mistress procures them considerable Offerings and Presents , but after his Death they are sent to the Old Serrail , where they bewail the loss of their former Fortune . The Sultaness-Queen only who is become Valide , staies in the Serrail with the Emperour her Son. If these Sultanesses , who are confined in this honourable Prison have Male-Children , they remain perpetually with a double Anguish occasion'd by the absence of their Children , that are kept in the Serrail , and whom they are in a continual fear of losing , through a cursed Custom , which , however , has begun to be more moderate since Sultan Ahmet . There is but one sole thing which flatters their Ambition , and which a little mollifies the Anguish of their Exile , that is , the hopes of seeing their Son mount the Throne by some unexpected hit , and to become Valide . The Daughters of the Emperour Dead or Deposed , that are not married , follow the Fortune of their Mothers , whom they accompany to the Old Serrail . This change of Residence neither changes their Quality nor Train : The manner of Living is equal , they keep their Eunuchs and their Slaves , and the Grand Signior takes care to marry them and give them Portions . If the Sultanesses that have no Children are still so-so young , and that having had the sense to avail themselves of His Highnesses Liberalities , they have scrap't up Wealth , they are at liberty to Marry again , so to free themselves from that perpetual Prison ; nay , and the Sultan obliges the Pacha's to Marry them , which they avoid as much as they can , by reason that the like Matches render them the Slaves of those Princesses who pretend that the Quality of Widdows of an Emperour renders them Mistresses , and that they do such men a great deal of Honour , whom a harsh necessity of obeying has made their Husbands . Of the Valide , Mother of the Grand Signior Mahomet the 4th . A Story concerning her . VAlide Sultan , Mother of the Grand Signior , is a Quality which makes that Princess to be considered both within and without the Serrail , and all the Sultanesses Honour and Respect her , by reason she has commonly a great Influence over her Son. She has a separate Apartment where she is serv'd by the Eunuchs , and by her own Slaves , and a Pallace in the City where her Intendant Lodges , and a world of considerable Officers , who are encharg'd with the gathering in of her Revenues , and with her Expences , both within and without the Serrail . Haznadar Boula , the Principal Officeress of this Sultaness , is her Treasuress , taking care of her Money , Jewels , and most precious Attire ; she commands five Maids that are appointed to help her . Okomich Boula is she who reads and writes , and she holds the second rank among the Sultaness's Maids . Tchamachir Boula is the Laundress , she has the Direction of the Linnen , and those Maids under her . The Intendant of the Bath , the Rubber , the Dresser , the Mistress of Ceremonies , whose Function is to serve at Table , the Intendant of the Offices , the Keeper of the Gold and Silver Plate wherein the Sultaness eats , and she who prepares the Coffee , and gives to wash , are the most considerable of all the Maids that are Attendants of this Princess . They are ever with her , and compose the Haz Oda , that is to say , the Chamber . The others endeavour to render themselves worthy to fill the Places that fall . As soon as the Sultaness is awake , they throw over her shoulders a Furred Night-gown , and they give her to wash in a golden Bason and Ewer . She saies her Prayers and Dresses . Her Winter Cloths and Drawers are of Broccard of Gold , those for Summer are of Musseline : She wears a Girdle and Bracelets of Massy Gold enriched with Jewels : Her Head-gear called Selam Takie , is a round thing of Past-board in the form of a Plate covered with Cloth of Gold , beset with Pearls and Jewels ; it is plac'd upon the top of her Head , sloaping a little upon the front . Her Hair is hid under a Musseline Scarf , embroidered with Gold , and adorned with a Garland of Jewels , with which they surround her Head. Pearls are not us'd about the Neck , they make them accompany the Face , they hing on the sides of the Cheeks in the form of a Demy-Circle , and they are fastened by Roses of Diamonds and Emeraulds . Her Shooing is of white Spanish Leather , enriched with Gold ; the little Slippers are of the same Matter and Work. The Sultaness Breakfasts after she is drest . The great Bason , the little Dishes , and the Banquette on which they rest , are of Gold. The Repast consists of new laid Eggs done in a Chaffindish , Pitty-patties , and boiled Chickens serv'd up in their Broth. The Grand Signior does in the morning send the Treasuress with a How d' ye to the Sultana ; then he visits her himself , ( at least this was Mahomet the fourth's Custom ) she affects such a Gravity , and the Sultan so great a Respect , that he does not sit till his Mother has entreated him three times so to do . He mounts upon the state , and takes his place upon the Carpet that is spread . He sits upon his Knees and Heels without any Cushion , having his Vest close wrapt up , which is the mark of the greater submission . He informs her of what he is to do that day . Coffee is brought , the Sultaness takes it first , and when the Emperour is upon withdrawing , he kisses his Mothers hand ▪ asks her Blessing , and she accompanies it only with a nod of her Head. After the Grand Signior's gone , the Kizlar-Aga asks leave to come in , and though he has full power in the Womens Apartment , he would not dare to shew himself if he were not introduced by the Treasuress . He informs this Sultana Dowager of all that passes : He presents her the Requests with which he is encharg'd concerning that Princess's own Affairs , about the Disposal of Places that are in her Appanage , the renting of her Lands , or the Complaints that are brought against her Officers , on which she consults with this Black Intendant , who sends back the Requests with the Sultaness's Deliberations to the Kiahia to have them executed . This Kiahia , or Intendant abroad , is a great Lord considered by his Mistress , and though all his care be to look after the receiving the Revenues , and to pay upon the Sultaness's Orders , yet is he in great Credit with her . For the most part they chuse some powerful Man to officiate this Place . His Houshold is compos'd of an Intendant , a Secretary , a Treasurer , sixty Itchoglans or Pages , ten Aga's or Gentlemen , of a Hodgia , a Preceptor , Chaplain , a Steward , and twelve Blacks for his Womens Guard. These Aga's and other Principal Officers have each of them three Servants . He has thirty Grooms , and three hundred Horses for his own service , and that of his People . He is oblig'd to give four Meals a year to his Mistress at the end of every three Months : She presents him , besides the Charges of the Houshold , with 1200 Sequins for each Meal , which are about three thousand Crowns . This Occupation for the Regulation of her Affairs , employs her till Dinner , which is dress'd in the Grand Signior's Kitchin. The Zulufly Baltadgis goes to take the Dishes , and carry them to the Eunuchs , who put them into the Female Officers hands . These Dishes of green Porcelain , with great Covers of White Iron covered with Red-Spanish-Leather , are wrapt up in Clothes and sealed . The Sultaness does never in eating put her finger to the Dish , her Carver does it , and serves it to her in golden Plates . Her Principal Female Officers eat after her what comes from her Table , and the other Slaves live on the Remnants of these former . The Sultanesses Repast is seasoned with the Divertisement of She-singers , Dancers and Buffoons , who continue it till after Dinner , and with that of reading some History or a Chapter in the Alcoran . The Sultana-Queen does commonly about that time go to pay her Devoirs to her Mother-in-law . This Visit is as full of Ceremony and Respect as is that of the Sultan : They are not wanting however to divert themselves in Songs and Dances ; Coffee , Sorbet and Perfumes are given to the Sultanesses , being the common Entertainments , but they very rarely eat together . It is the Custom to sup betimes , and they reserve their fruits to eat them before they go to Bed ; they eat them pill'd and cut into pieces . The Sultaness's Bed is a Cotton Quilt , and Musseline Sheets : The upward one is sow'd to a Coverlid of Gold-Broccard , more or less heavy according to the season . This Bed is surrounded with Cushions and Curtains fasten'd to the Cieling , which they raise or let down like to a Field-bed . A great Flambeau of Wax burns all the night in the midst of the Chamber in a Candlestick of Massy-Gold , enriched with Jewels . Eight Maids are on the Guard at the foot of the Bed. There are as many at her Chamber-door , who lie upon Carpets and have only a plain Coverlet over their backs . The Valid● has eight female Itchoglans clothed like Men with Vestments button'd from the neck to the waste , and Sleeves close at the wrist : Their Head-gear is a long Bonnet border'd with Sable : They have a Ponyard by their side like the Grand Signior's Pages . This Princess's setled . Revenue is four hundred thousand Crowns , the casual is much more considerable . The Presents which the Tributary Princes continually make , as also those who are willing to share in the Imploys of the Empire by the Credit of this Princess , do extraordinarily augment her Income , which she cannot exhaust by the Subsistence and Maintenance of those that serve her within and without ▪ seeing it is the Grand Signior who is at all these Expences . Thus it is only Extraordinaries , and little petty Expences that draw her Purse . These Princesses most commonly heap up Treasures to be imployed in Pious works , if not , all these Riches return to the Emperour . Tachan Sultan , the Mother of Sultan Mahomet the 4th . who lately was depos'd , died about five years ago , but before her death caused a magnificent Mosch to be built . She had almost an absolute Power over her Son , who respected and honoured her really : She was a Muscovite , a little lean , and markt with the small Pox , her Eyes blew , her Complexion fair , and her Hair , which the Turks love best , inclining to reddish : Her Wit was nice and piercing , and she made good use of it for the keeping the Empire to her Son during his Nonage . The Tartars took her when she was but twelve years old . But she had the good luck , that having been sold and presented to the Serrail at Sultan Ibrahim's Accession to the Empire , she pleas'd him . He lay with her , had Sultan Mahomet by her , and she was declared Hasseki . It happened some time after that Tachun Sultan , who was then Sultana-Queen , passing by a Fruit-man's shop in Constantinople , and curiosity putting her upon viewing thorow the Lettice of her Coach what pass'd in the Street , she by chance cast her Eyes upon a young Boy of thirteen years old , handsom enough that was in that Shop : His Master , who had a very great love for him , and had bought him for a hundred and fifty Crowns , had at the very first taken care to have him Circumcised , and to Cloath him pretty neatly according to his condition of a Slave : Nay , he left to his care the Management of his Traffick . The sight of this young Slave , called Youssuf , did so very much affect the Sultaness , that having caus'd her Coach to stop on pretence of buying fruits , she caus'd him to approach , and having view'd him nearer at hand , she order'd the Kizlar-Aga to carry him to the Serrail . Youssuf was in no small peck of troubles , and did more than a little regret his being taken from that shop , where he lived very well satisfied with his Slavery , and in that he had gain'd his Patrons good will. He was extreamly in pain to think what they meant to do with him , and whatever he could imagine , he thought of nothing less than of what was to befal him . I tormented my self , said he one day to one of his Friends , who told me the story , I was afraid , I intreated them to let me go ; I askt pardon , thinking I was accused of some great Crime , and I should have rather chosen to have been in my shop , than in the Serrail . In short , he confess'd his having been much more griev'd at his being thus taken away , than at his having been made a Slave . The Sultaness was no sooner return'd to the Serrail , but that she had him brought into her presence , question'd him about the place of his Birth , the name of his Parents and his Age , and askt him particularly if he had not a Sister , and a mark in his Body ; He answer'd pat to all these questions , that he had a Sister that had been taken by the Tartars some years before him , and that he himself was markt in the side by having been bitten by a Wolf. Joy interrupted the course of these Interrogations ▪ The Sultaness found him to be her Brother , and Caress'd him to the highest Degree imaginable . This news was immediately spread about the Serrail , and came to Sultan Ibrahim's Ears , who at the same time sent him a Vest of Samour , which is as much as to say Sable . The Empress caus'd him to be cloath'd ; and gave him in charge to the Kislar-Aga . He continued some days in the Serrail , during which they prepared one for him , adorning and providing it with all things necessary to while away Life pleasantly . All the great Lords made him Presents to please the Sultaness , and He that but a little before was a Slave , and had bounded his Fortune in having a little Fruit-shop , saw himself in a stately Palace surrounded with Domestiques , Slaves and great Men , who make their Court to him , and throng him with Offerings . The Sultaness procured him an Arpalix , or Appanage of five and twenty thousand Crowns Revenue , which is the recompence of those that having done good services to the Empire , are become uncapable of continuin● them by being deep stricken in years . This wa● the most stable settlement for Youssuf Aga , and the most suitable to his Inclination , and the Tranquillity of his Spirit . His Sister could have rais'd him to the highest Dignities of the Empire ; but she had then expos'd him to the jealousie of the Viziers , who endeavour to ruin those who have over much credit with the Sultan , whereas Youssuf is cherish'd by all his Ministers , who respect him , and pay him the same honours as to Pacha's , though He has not any Place nor other Quality than of Aga , which barely signifies Lord. Besides this Revenue , the Grand Signior furnishes him with all things necessary for his Maintenance , and that of his Domestiques , and the Sultaness while she liv'd gave him fifteen Purses a Month , for fear that after her Death some Sultan out of Caprice might withdraw his Revenue , and deprive him of the means of subsisting . The Sultaness rewarded her Brothers Patron . Besides the Price of his Redemption , she sent a Gift of a thousand Crowns , and caus'd a Pension of forty pence a day to be assigned him upon the Customs . Youssuf Aga often saw the Grand Signior during his Nonage , but has not seen him since . He frequently visited his Sister Incognito , and secretly . Not but that the Sultaness was permitted to see her Brother when she pleased , and the Law authoriz'd it , but they took this course rather out of Policy , and not to give a scandal to the people . He lives as a private Person , at least if he be not dead within these two years , and his greatest pleasure is to spend the Summer and Autumn in Tents in a great Meadow full of Springs , which terminate the Port of Constantinople . He employs his time in Reading , and diverts himself with seeing his Itchoglans Mount his Horses , and Dart the Javelin . One may by this Adventure observe the Caprices of Fortune , which in various manners shew themselves throughout the whole World. It 's most surprizing effects are seen in Turky where we find Countrey Girls become Queens , Princesses ; Slaves , and Men of the lowest Birth rais'd in a moment to the highest Dignities of the Empire . Of the Sultana-Queen , Hasseki-Sultan . THE Quality of Hasseki-Sultan , Sultana-Queen , is commonly conferr'd on Her that brings forth the first Male-child ; all the rest , though they have Children , are barely called Hassek Favourites , and the addition of Sultan is only due to the Queen , and makes a particular distinction of the Mother of the Presumptive Heir from the other Favourites . Nor does any besides her wear the Diadem and Imperial Badge . It is a little Crown enrich'd with Jewels , fasten'd upon a Velvet Bonnet , fac'd with Sables . The Hasseki-Sultan is not only considerable because she represents the Empress , but also because that being the Mother of the Presumptive Heir of the Empire , she is lookt upon as a future Validé . All that I have said of the Valide , is to be understood of the Sultana-Hasseki , only the Revenues are somewhat less . This Sultana-Hasseki did in the late Reign much ballance the others Credit , which occasion'd Jealousie in the Valide , but the Sultana-Queen was oblig'd to dissemble , that she might not displease the Grand Signior , who would have taken his Mothers part against his Favourite . I have not yet heard who are the Sultanesses of Soliman the third , who was lately proclaimed Emperour , but his Brother Mahomet's Principal Hasseki , called Guveche Sultan , was a present of the deceased Valide ; she was given to her by Bournaz Hatidge Sultan , Sister to Sultan Murad : She is thirty six years old or thereabouts , beautiful , and prettily shap'd , though little , fair complexion'd , though her visage is a little long , blew Eyes , and Chesnut colour'd Hair : She has a great deal of Wit , with an extraordinary gay and jocund humour , which gave her an inconceivable Ascendant over the Grand Signior , whom she govern'd absolutely , and often through her Intrigues were the most considerable Officers of that Empire made and destroyed . She has had four Children , two Princes , and two Princesses . Guveche Sultan was jealous to the highest degree of his Highness's favours . She lov'd rather he should caress his Male Minions , than his Female Darlings , for fear they should ravish her of what she carefully cultivated , and she hindred , as far as in her lay , Amours prejudicial to her Credit and Repose . And of this I will here give two Examples which have made sufficient noise . The Valide could in no wise bear with Guveche Sultan's Arrogance , as aiming to stand Candidate with her for the Authority . She was afraid that the Absolute Empire which the Hasseki had over the Grand Signior , might occasion some disaster to the Princes his Highness's Brothers , the design of whose Ruine she might have insinuated into him , the better to secure to her Son the Succession of the Empire , and to her self the Quality of Queen-Mother , which might have happen'd in these last disorders of Constantinople . This apprehension induc'd the Valide to contrive the preservation of the two Princes whom the Soldiery had committed to her Guard , particularly Soliman at present upon the Throne , for whom she was suspected , to have a little too much affection . She judg'd convenient to counterballance the Love the Emperour had for the Sultana-Queen , that so she might lessen her Credit , and by this means divert the storm which menac'd the Head of the two Sultans . A Present had been made her of a Circassian Slave , very beautiful , well educated , and well instructed in all the exercises that a Maid is capable of . The Grand Signior going one day , after his usual manner , to pay a Visit to his Mother , she told him , that a Maid had been given her equally beauteous , graceful and knowing . The particularizing so many merits forthwith inflam'd the Sultan , and gave him the curiosity to see her . The Valide , the better to cover her Intention , oppos'd this desire of his , on pretence that he would , perhaps , deprive her of a Maid , that was her whole diversion , but pretending compliance upon the Assurance he gave her , that he would not take her away , she had her call'd into the presence . The young Slave being well instructed by the Valide and the Old-woman , and egg'd on with Ambition to see her self rais'd in a little time to a station which all others aspire to , and for which they sigh in vain almost all their life long , made it her whole study to inspire Love into the Emperour by her gayety , facetiousness and gallantries . Happy was the success , the Sultan fell into the Trap , and nothing perplex'd him so much as the promise he had pass'd to his Mother of not depriving her of her Slave , whose Charms and Merits he so highly extoll'd ; so that the Valide seeing the Affair at the point she had desired it , offer'd her to her Son , who express'd to her a large sense of gratitude , and thus she satisfied the desire she had of traversing the Sultana-Queen's repose , she knowing nothing of all that pass'd . The change of Apartment , and the preparing a Train for a new Mistress , gave the Sultana-Queen no small matter of disturbance , Jealousie forthwith possess'd her , she made great complaints to the Sultan , curs'd the Validé , and her Passion proceeded so far as reproaches of the Love the Validé had for Sultan Soliman , to the prejudice of her own Son. She said the Validé's design was to dethrone him and introduce another in his stead , whose Mother she was not , and to enjoy at the same time the favours of him she loved , and the pleasure of seeing him Reign . The Sultaness after this caus'd the young Slave to be brought to her , and cruelly misus'd her , which put the whole Women's Apartment into a Hub-bub ; but the Grand Signior having had notice of it , caus'd his new Mistress to be remov'd to the Serrail of Chataldge ; which is in the Neighbourhood of Constantinople , and went thither to recreate himself with another Pleasure after the Fatigues of Hunting . The Empress perceiving it to be a remediless mischief ▪ fear'd lest the increase of the Sultan's new Passion might make her totally lose her credit , which was already much diminish'd . She fancied it her best course to sooth the Emperour in his new Inclination , and let him know that her extravagance was an effect of the passionate Love she had for him ; that , nevertheless , she was minded to Sacrifice her private Interest to his Highnesses Pleasure , and that she should be fully satisfied did she but know that Prince to be content . The Artifice sped . Whether that the Sultan's Passion that had been augmented by the Sultaness's jealousie , was diminish'd by her feign'd indifference , or that really he very little minded all these Women , which is most likely , he went again after his usual rate to the Hasseki Sultan , whom the news of her Rivals being with Child did strangely torment . Yet was she forc't to dissemble , and curb her Spirit for fear of spoiling all , and wait the success of the others lying in , who happily for her had a Daughter at Baba in Bulgaria while that the Grand Signior was in his Carminiek Expedition , and this did more than a little solace her . She was very much afraid of her having a Son , which would have confirm'd her in the Grand Signior's Affection , who had designed this young Sultaness his Daughter for the Grand Vizier Cara Mustafa Pacha . He was to have married her at his return from the Siege of Vienna , if he had taken the Place , and if it had not been his ill fate to have perish'd at Belgrade . The other example of the Sultaness's jealousie is fresh , seeing the thing pass'd within these four years . Custom will have it that the Grand Viziers at their Accession to the Ministry make Presents to the Emperour . Cara Ibrahim Pacha , the Successor of Mustafa , who had been newly strangled , among other Oblations he made to his Highness , presented him with a young Polish Slave call'd Hatidge ; the most perfect that could be found among the Jews who Trade in that Merchandise . She was cull'd from out a vast number . She had an advantageous Shape , round Visag'd , blew Eyes , large , well cleft , her Nose a little turning up , her Mouth and Teeth beautiful to perfection , her Complexion of a dazling brightness , and her Hair of an admirable Ash-colour . She was then in her eighteenth year . The Jew got considerably by Hatidge's Charms , selling her for fifteen hundred Crowns , and the Vizier sent her to the Kislar Aga , to present her to the Sultan , who falling in Love with her , ordered the Keeper to observe secresy by reason of the Sultana-Queen , and that she should be brought to him the night following . It is to be believed that this new Mistresses secret Charms compleated what a bare sight had so much advanc'd . His Highness knowing the Sultaness's Spirit , and fearing the sallies of her Temper , caus'd her to be remov'd from the Grand Serrail to another upon the Channel of the Black-Sea , to see her with the more freedom . She continued there for some time without the Guveches Sultans seeming to take notice of it , or manifesting the least concern or trouble , but she was brooding very different Designs in her Head , and meditated a fatal and cruel Revenge . Upon a certain time that the Emperour was a Hunting at a days Journey from Constantinople , the Sultaness commanded the Galliots to be made ready to go take the Air upon the Canal of the Sea. The chief of the Eunuchs having given the necessary Orders , she stole on board with a small number of her most trusty Slaves , and being come near Kandil Bakhtchei , so is the name of the Serrail , where this new Odalik was kept she would needs go on shore on pretence of going to divert her self in some one of the Grotto's of the Gardens ; when that Hatidgé , who lov'd Fishing was in a Pleasure-House upon the Sea enjoying that innocent Pleasure . The Maids that were about her went to meet the Sultaness-Queen , and joining with their Friends , conducted her to the finest Place of the Garden . She staid there with two of her greatest Confidents , the others struck into By-places , to be at the more Liberty . This Sultaness whom jealousie and the desire of revenge did cruelly torment , lost no time . She stole from the Grotto whence she was followed by two Accomplices of her wicked Design , and went directly to the Pleasure-house of the Unfortunate Hatidgé . They surpriz'd her , threw her into the Sea , and went their ways without being perceived , at least so is the Account the Eunuchs give of that matter . Hatidgé's Death extremely startled and afflicted the Emperour , who nevertheless dissembled it , and thought fitting to seem to believe it to have happen'd according to the Gloss they gave it in their relating it , though he had been fully informed of the contrary , and that he did not doubt but that it was a trick of the Sultana's , but there was no remedy . He caus'd the Body to be sought for , that he might not lose with a Mistress he loved , a vast quantity of Jewels he also valued . Of the Grand Signiors Daughters and Sisters ; of their Marriages , and Ceremonies therein observed . THE Sultaness's condition is much happier than that of the Sultan's , the Emperour's Sons . His Highness is ever careful to provide for the Daughters , and the greatest favour the Princes can hope for from him , is the preservation of Life , to pass it , as the Emperour now reigning did , in a perpetual Prison , to be brought up and fed like Women , and serv'd by Old-women , who take care to give them often a certain Conserve proper to extinguish the flames of Concupiscence . The Sultanesses on the contrary are married in their greenest years , and have sometimes had three or four Husbands before they have attain'd to the Age of Wedlock . Nay , this is a stroke of Policy , and a piece of Husbandry in the Court to rid it self of them betimes , and to encharge some rich old Pacha with the keeping of a Princess , who is most commonly the occasion of his Downfal ; they are not wanting to find Pretences to take away his Life , and give the Confiscation of his Estate to his Dowager . When the Grand Signior is minded to rid himself of a Daughter or Sister , and that he chuses her a Husband , he signifies this his Intention to the Party by a Hatcherif or Royal Command , that he should prepare himself for the Honour he means to do him , and he regulates the Sultana's Dowry , which consists in all sorts of Jewels , Vests of rich Stuff , Furrs of great value , Cushions , Quilts , Carpets and Tapestries of admirable work , a world of Plate , and a bundle of Linnen , Sheets , Shifts , Handkerchiefs embroidered with Gold. The Pacha on his part sends Presents , not only to his future Bride , but to the Grand Signior , to the Sultanesses , to the Princess's Nurse , and to the Maids that are about them . If the Bride be the Sultan's Daughter , the sending of these Presents is done with great Pomp , which is also practis'd at the removing of that Princess to her Husband 's Serrail . The Mufty makes the Contract , and settles the Dowry Nekia . Formerly it did not amount to above twenty five thousand Crowns , it now sometimes reaches to a 100000. The day appointed for the Nuptials being come , the Pacha does with his Friends attend in his own Apartments till notice is brought him to enter into that of the Sultaness . As soon as he sees the Kiahia Kaden appear , she being the Intendant , encharg'd with this Care , he rises , goes to meet her , kisses her hand , and follows her while that his Friends make Vows for his happy Marriage , and for his Prosperity . The Sultaness being cover'd with a Veil of Red Taffety , which hides her quite , is seated upon a Stool at her Chamber Door : As soon as she perceives him she rises , and withdraws into a corner of the Sofa . The Eunuchs take away this Bridegroom's Slippers , and make him stay a while upon the Threshold of the Door , as a mark of Supremacy , and then introduce him into the Chamber . He makes three low Bows at three several times ; he falls upon his knees with his face to the ground , and says a short Prayer , which being ended , the Intendant conducts him to the Sultana's feet , joyns their hands , and utters some words which make the Marriage . He sits down upon the Sofa near his Bride , and entreats her to unveil her self : She makes no semblance of hearing him , and affects a haughty , arrogant , scornful Carriage , which nothing is capable to make her recede from , save the considerable Presents he promises her , and she asks for Drink to have a pretence to take off the Veil which hides her face . The Husband starts up , takes at the same time a China-Cup full of Water that is set there on purpose , and continues standing till such time that the Bride nods to him to draw near . He kneels down at her feet , and presents her the Cup She takes off her Veil , and drinks a little out of Ceremony . The Slaves immediately bring a Bason , on which there are two Plates garnish'd , the one of two rosted Pigeons , and the other of Sugar-candy . The poor Husband is here forc'd to undergo another Fatigue , so to oblige the Sultaness to sit down to Table , and to tast those Meats which are of the essence of the Ceremony . She redoubles her disdainful Carriage , and nothing can sweeten it but the sight of the Presents . Then she suffers the Pacha to take her under the Arms and conduct her to the Table . He serves a Pigeon to her , to let her know by that Bird , which is the symbol of Fidelity and Union , that they ought to live together like two Turtles . She eats , and presents him with Sugar-candy to express her sweetness , which is not over great , seeing that most commonly those Sultanesses continue in their insupportable airs of Arrogance , and availing themselves of their Birth , and the Grand Signior's Authority , treat those Husbands like Slaves , without their having the liberty to complain of their usage . This Repast ends almost at the same time it begins . The Sultaness goes again to her Place , and the Pacha by her . All the company withdraws , and leaves them at full liberty , though not to consummate the Marriage : It may , indeed , be the season , but 't is not the mode . The Husband employs those precious moments in expressing to his new Bride the Obligation he has to the Sultan for the honour he has done him in chusing him for the Husband of so charming a Princess . He assures her that he will use his utmost endeavours to render himself worthy of this Blessing by extraordinary Assiduities and Respects , that she is his Patroness , and he her Slave . Those Complements are slightly enough received , and if any returns be made them , 't is only by a nod of the head , I do not say a kiss ; the Pacha would be happy were he but permitted to touch her fingers end , if she has not yet been married . And though she have already been married , yet he thereby finds but little more Indulgence , the fashion being to spend all that time in merriments till the morning . After the Pacha has discours'd a while with the Sultaness , his Friends come into the Hall , where they set the Instruments a playing , to let him know that they expect him ; and this is the signal of the Bridegroom 's coming out , and of the Lady's return to the Sultaness . The whole night is spent in Feasts , Sports , Musical Divertisements , Dances , and Puppet-plays each apart . The Bridegroom diverts himself with his Friends , and the Bride with the Ladies . Two hours before Day , they prepare the Nuptial Bed. The Intendants undress the Sultaness , they put her to Bed , and the Ladies withdraw into other Rooms . None stays with her save the Yengue Kaden , Mistress of the Nuptial Ceremonies , who instructs her in what she is to do , that so she may not derogate from her Quality or the Customs . An Eunuch goes to acquaint the Husband that it is time to leave the company , and this is done after a manner pleasant enough , since it is without speaking to him . He only presents him his Papoushes , a kind of Slippers ; then gets up , and withdraws into his own Room , and leaves his Friends , in nodding to them with his head . The Musick leaves off , the Pacha undresses , and goes in his Night-Gown to his new Wife . He does not presently flounce into Bed ; he kneels at the Sultaness's feet , kisses them , and scratches the sole , and then steals gently under the Quilt ; he laies himself at the side of her , but out of respect he would not dare to embrace her ; 't is she must make all the Advances , and kiss him , to give him the boldness to caress her . If she is a Virgin , he contents himself with these Caresses , & attempts no farther without having a supreme order for his so doing . This is a priviledge which the Grand Signior reserves to himself . One must by a Request let him know that the Princess his Daughter , or Sister , will not consent to the consummation of the Marriage , and ask his permission to constrain her to it . His Highness gives a Hatcherif , by which he orders the Pacha to consummate the Marriage , as soon as he shall have receiv'd the blessed command : These are the very terms . He reads this to his Wife , entreats her anew , and if she does not obey , which is very rare , he has the power to act as Master in the case . After the Consummation of the Marriage the Husband goes to the Bath , and an Eunuch on behalf of the Sultaness brings him a Shift , a pair of Drawers , and an Handkerchief . At his coming out of the Bath , he returns to his Friends in his own Apartment : They wish him joy upon his new Marriage , and a Meal is serv'd up all of Sheeps Petty-toes . Thus the Day by us call'd the Weddings Good-morrow , is by them called the Day of Petty-toes , Pacha-guni . The Sultaness gives the same entertainment to her Friends . The Diversion of this Day quickly ends by the drinking of Liquors , and taking of Perfumes . The Guests take their leave of the new Married Couple , and the Pacha shuts himself up for eight days with the Sultaness to accustom her to him , and render her familiar . Of the Grand Signior's manner of spending His time , and of his Highness's secret Pleasures . THE Daily Occupations of this Prince are pretty well regulated . He rises an hour before day in Winter , and at break of day in Summer , and sometimes earlier . He washes his Face and Hands , then says his Prayers . This was Mahomet the Fourth's Method . On the days when the Grand Signior Bathes , he rises an hour sooner than ordinary . If he has lain in his own Chamber , he goes into the Bath of Men , and it is the Hammamdgi-Bachi , Master of the Bath that rubs him ; If he has lain at the Sultaness's , He goes into that of this Princess . At his getting out of Bed , she puts a little Quilt o'er his Shoulders , she accompanies him with the Treasuress , the Laundress , she who makes the Coffee , and a Female Buffoon for their diversion . 'T is the Sultaness who rubs and washes his Highness ; the others prepare the Linnen perfum'd with Amber and Aloes-wood , and at his coming out of the Bath they put upon his head a great Veil of Goats-hair , finer and more curious than Silk . They call it Chal , and instead of returning to the Ladies Lodgings , he goes to his own Apartment . After Prayer they serve up Breakfast , consisting of Eggs of all sorts , Sheeps petty-toes , boil'd Chickens and Fruit. Then he assists at the Divan , if it be one of the days appointed for Justice , or confers with the Vizier about Affairs of State ; if not , he reposes an hour or two , or else takes Horse . At nine a clock he goes again to Prayers , which is followed with a walk in the Gardens , or some other Divertisement till Dinner time . Before he sits down to Table they spread a great Indian Carpet of Silk Embroidery , and upon that another smaller one of Gold Broccard , to cover two Cushions between which the Emperour sits . They cover his Knees with an Embroidered Toilet , and they set before him a Banquet garnish'd with Plates of Gold , on which they place a very large silver Bason , which is at least four foot in Diameter . The whole is set out with all sorts of Sallads , and the midst of it is empty to receive the Dishes . The Grand Signior eats always alone in the Hazoda , or in the Gardens . All the Dishes are cover'd and wrapt up in Toilets , and seal'd with the Clark of the Kitchens Seal ; and are not unseal'd again but in his Highness's presence . They serve him up but one Dish at a time . During the Repast , the Mutes and Dwarfs make a thousand pleasant postures to divert the Emperour , who throws Morcels to them to have the pleasure of seeing them scramble and snatch 'em from one another . It is an errour to say , that the Turks neither eat in Gold nor Silver , and 't is rather an effect of their Policy than a prohibition of the Law. They are afraid lest an over-great use might diminish a Metal , the Mines of which are not over-abounding among them . The Grand Signior has Dishes of Gold and Silver which he makes use of in his Progress both in the Field & Army , by reason that the green Porcelain Mertabani , wherein he commonly eats , cannot without danger be carried up and down . There is another reason which induces the Turks to make use of this green Porcelain which comes from Tartary ; they fancy that it cannot suffer any poyson'd thing without breaking . Their Spoons are of some precious Wood , or of the Beak of a Bird , by reason that Gold and Silver growing hot keep their heat too long , but it is not the same with Wood , whence it is easy to conclude that the little use of Gold and Silver Plate , is less a Superstition than a very wise Reason . The Grand Signior eats with his Fingers which he cleans at each mouthful ; he does not drink while he is at Dinner . After they have wash'd his hands with very fine Soap and sweet scented Waters , they serve him up a great Porcelain Cup , full of Sorbet . The Coffee and sweet things follow this Beveridge . After his Highness rises from Table , he reposes again for a while , and then takes the Divertisement of Hunting , Walking , the Exercise of the Itchoglans , Wrestling , Buffoons , Mutes and Dwarfs . He goes very often to eat in the Gardens of the Pachas , and of other considerable Persons , who , besides the Treat , are obliged to make him great Presents of Jewels and Money , which they put under a Cushion by that Prince's side , and which the Selictar is careful to take along with them upon their going away . Every Tuesday the Grand Signior's head and face are shaved amid the sound of Instruments and Voices . This is practised with great Respect . Two Itchoglans hold the Linnen on which falls all the hair which they burn . Formerly they put it into a Gold Box , and the Emperour made a Present of it to his Barber . This Custom was introduced by Sultan Murad , for the abolishing the Barber's Priviledge , who might demand what Boon he pleas'd , while he had the Razor in his hand , without fear of being denyed . In case the Grand Signior should not go to the Bath all the week long , he is by Religion oblig'd to go into it on the Friday , the better to sanctifie the Day , and to wipe away by this solemn Ablution , in washing extreamly all the parts of the body , what may have sullied the soul. His Highness sups about five a Clock , and goes to Bed about an hour and half after it is night , and after the last Prayer is performed . They make his Bed when he is ready to lie down . It is composed of three Quilts lined with a very rich Stuff , and in Winter the last is garnish'd with Sables . They spread a Sheet of extraordinary fine Cloth , and the second is fasten'd to the Coverlet of Broccard , or Embroidered Sattin . There are a world of little Pillows stuff'd with Cotton , and cover'd with Musceline Embroidered with Silk . The Bed is surrounded with great Cushions . In the midst of the Chamber are two great Gold Candlesticks with two huge Wax-lights , that burn all the night long , as well as a Perfume of Amber and Aloes wood . The Sultan sleeps with a little Turbant on his head , a Wast-coat and a pair of Drawers . There are always two Old-women watching by him . If the Grand Signior means to visit the Sultana-Queen by night , he signifies his Intention to her by the Basch Mascara Beula , the chief Female Buffoon , that diverts her , and prepares her for the Imperial Visit by Stories and Discourses befitting to make her expect that honour . She comes to receive the Sultan at the door of her Apartment , kisses his hands , which she lifts to her fore-head , leads him under the arms , undresses him her self , and goes to Bed after him . The Slaves , who commonly lie in the Sultaness's Room , withdraw ; there are only two upon the Guard at the outward door , to enter upon the least signal . His Highness only goes to the Sultaness's Apartment , the others go to him in his , which so much the more confirms her Preheminency , and her Quality of first Hasseki . When the Sultan means to make a new Mistress , he orders the Kiahia Kaden to assemble the Maids . This order is sufficient to create an Emulation in all those lovely Prisoners , each of them would please , and fits her self out the best she can , to gain the Grand Signior's Affections by displaying all the beauty and finery afforded her by Art and Nature . He goes to the place where they are , and if there be any one has the gift of pleasing him , he throws her his Handkerchief . This most happy creature immediately prostrates her self upon the floor , takes the precious Pledge of her future happiness , kisses it and puts it up safe in her bosom . In this Court , as in all the others of Europe , the Caresses of the Prince invite the Complements of those that are sometimes the most jealous of the good fortune of those they congratulate . All the other Maids come to partake in the joy of this new Mistress . The Old-women repair immediately to her , lead her to the Bath , dress her up gorgeously , deck her with Jewels , and conduct her at the usual hour to the door of the Imperial Chamber amid the sound of Instruments . The Eunuch on the Guard goes to give notice to the Grand Signior of this new Mistress being come , and to receive his Orders for her introduction . If his Commands be for her to enter , as soon as she is over the threshold of the door , she runs to the feet of this Emperour's Bed ; the door shuts , and the Musick continues to sing and play Tunes suitable to what is to pass behind the Scenes . This fair one does not content her self with falling on her knees at the Bed's feet , she lifts up the Coverlet a little , kisses the Sultan's feet , and continues in this posture till he commands her to come to Bed ; which she does by stealing in at the feet , and slipping up softly by his Highness's side , who , upon his dismissing her , puts a Handkerchief over her face , for a mark that he has tryed her , and that this Maid's Modesty does not permit her to shew her self before she be purified . Nevertheless this Ceremony is only a meer Grimace , since she takes off that Handkerchief as soon as she is got out of the Grand Signior's Chamber , where the same Old-woman waits her coming , to conduct her to the Bath . She has then a Place given her in the Ouz●un Odes , long Chamber ; It is the Apartment of those that have had the favours of the Emperour without having Children , and whom they call Odalick . She has Eunuchs appointed her , and some other Maids for her Attendance . If she proves with Child , and is brought to Bed of a Son , they confer upon her the Quality of Hasseki , first , second , or third , according to her rank . The Emperour lately deposed made but two Hasseki's ; The Sultana-Queen did dexterously divert these sorts of Intrigues , to which he was not over-prone , his Inclinations being , indeed , somewhat faint for all things save Hunting , that was his predominant Passion , and he spent the finest Days of his Life in that Recreation with so great an Avidity , that it frequently made him lose his Repose and Eating . In all likelihood Soliman the third , his Brother , will not be so wedded to that Exercise , as well through his Humour and Inclinations , which are very different from those of Mahomet , as through the necessity of his Affairs . There was formerly in the Serrail a Chamber of Falconry with Eighty Pages ; commanded by the Grand-Falconer called Dongandgibachi . They govern'd , fed and clean'd the Grand Signior's Birds . They alone had the Priviledge of walking in the Serrail , under pretence of looking to their Birds , and , indeed , they were oblig'd to carry a Bird upon their fist , if not , they would have been chastis'd . After the suppression of this Chamber , there has ever been an Arsagalar , who out of honour bears the name of Grand-Falconer . The Birds are at present in the hands of three Officers , who no longer dwell in the Serrail ; they are called Dogandgi , Tchakirdgi-Bachi and Chakindgi-Bachi : The difference of these three names comes from three different species of Birds which the Turks make use of , namely , of the Dogan , which signifies a Spar-hawk , Tchahir , a Merlin , & Chahin , which signifies Falcon , each Officer governs those whose name he bears , and has a world of Servants appointed to look to , air and exercise them . When the Grand Signior means to fly , these three Officers carry the Bird , & are followed by all their servants in the same equipage . These Officers have considerable Incomes , which they derive from the Haz-arpalick assign'd them for their subsistence , and for the maintenance of their Equipages , Birds , and the servants that have them in keeping . There are several Villages that pay not any Tax , on condition to furnish annually a certain number of Birds for the Falconry . They are bound to teach them , and to put them into the hands of the Officers , from whom they take a Receipt , which exempts them from all sorts of Impositions . The Grand Signior has above 1200 Greyhounds , Hounds and Mastiffs , or Bull-Dogs , the last are for Bull-baiting . They are all fed differently according to their species . They give the Mastiffs Bread and a Goat's-head a day , half the head in the morning , and as much in the evening . The Greyhounds have two loaves a day , and a Goat's-head a week boil'd , without fleaing it , taking off the hair , or taking out the bones , by reason that this purges them . The Turkish Greyhounds are the most beautiful Dogs of their kind : Their Tails and Ears are like those of Spaniels , principally those of the Isle of Cyprus ; nay , there are some that quest and have a very good Nose . Sometimes wagers are laid upon the fleetness of these Dogs . The Masters for three days only feed them with the yolks of Eggs. They must be carryed evening and morning , and walk'd out to empty them . The Turks have a great value for this kind of Dogs . The Hounds and Beagles are fed like the others . The Grand Signior has a vast number of Poland-Tygers , which are beautiful , but worth nothing . They have all housses that are of Broccard when his Highness marches in Ceremony . There are a sort of little Tygers , by the Turks called Ch●par , which they make use of in Deer-hunting . It is so fierce an Animal , that if it does not take its Prey in three Leaps , it is pawl'd ; and if he that governs it does not caress it to comfort it , it would burst with rage . The Falconers that have the care of them , carry them behind them on Horseback , and notwithstanding their fierceness they are so-so docible . When the Emperour is minded to make a general Hunt , after he has appointed the place , he issues out a Command for the raising of the People that are to beat the Countrey ; this Command specifies the number . The Hasseki's of the Bostandgi Bachi , who are encharg'd with the Execution , appoint the number which each Bailywick of the Province where the Hunt is performed is to furnish . They sometimes get together full forty thousand , and there would be many more , if the Bostandgis , made the Leavy exact , and did not exact money from those they exempt . The Grand Signior does not give any maintenance to these Hunters , those that are obliged to furnish them , feed them . They surround a vast Countrey , and these Hunters who still march in a Circle , drive all the Game that is within the compass , and which retires into a Wood wherein they shut it up . There they make a number of Glades , which end in a vast empty space , which is in the midst of this Wood , and wherein they erect a little Amphitheatre , whence his Highness views the whole Chace according as it is rouz'd and started . Sometimes the Grand Signior does not mount upon this Amphitheatre , he continues six or seven hours on Horse-back , spurring on all sides during an excessive Cold , without taking any nourishment , saving some mouth-fulls in passing from one place to another , where Men are set with Basons , which they put upon their heads as soon as they see his Highness appear . They take Hinds , Fallow Deer , Staggs , Wolves , and particularly , a world of Hares , which they knock on the head , according as they would make their way through the Circle . The hooting of these Hunts is very pleasant , when they are performed in a good season , and it is diverting to see Men , Dogs and Animals Pell-mell within about a Leagues compass , with the shouts of those that form the inclosure to hinder the Game from going out . The manner of tossing Hares in the Plain of St. Dennis is a slight Image of it . FINIS . An Advertisement . MODERN HISTORY , OR , A Monthly Account Of all considerable Occurrences , Civil , Ecclesiastical , and Military . With all Natural , and Philosophical Productions and Transactions . Printed at London , By J. B. and Sold by Joseph Hindmarsh at the Golden Ball over against the Royal Exchange , and by Randal Taylor near Stationers-Hall in Ludgate-Street . AS Curiosity is natural to Mankind , it has been likewise the Care and Bus'ness of This Age to furnish Novelties and Entertainments toward the gratifying of that Humour : But many People are so hasty , or so heedless in the discharge of this Office , that they do not attend as they ought to do , either to the Dignity of the Subject they are to work upon , or to the Truth of what they Report : By which means a Thousand Fables and Falsities are impos'd upon the world : Matters of moment , promiscuously confounded with things of little worth ; and for want of separating the True from the False , the Good from the Bad , and useful Notions or Curiosities from matters unprofitable , men are at a loss what to take , and what to leave . Now for the preventing of these inconveniences for the future , there is Order taken for the drawing of all Memorable and Notable Events and Relations out of the several Fragments that have been published concerning them into one entire Collection : That is to say , in the regular Series of a Monthly Account . This to be done in the most succinct and faithful manner possible ; and nothing to be inserted , but what is of weight , and verified from the best hands . And for the perfecting of this work , there is such a Correspondence setled abroad , that very few Occurrences of any kind will scape us , whether Civil , Military , or Ecclesiastical , beside Philosophical Transactions and Emprovements , which we suppose will be as well beneficial as delightful to the curious : And as we shall on the one hand be very careful not to let any thing slip within the compass of our pretensions , so on the other hand not to intermeddle in the secrets of any Church or State-matters beyond our Province . The reason for Publishing this Relation once , and but once a Month ( as that 's the course resolv'd upon ) is this ; First , that the notices of things to be made publique may be carried-on Methodically upon equal distances of time , and without wracking peoples expectations by any longer Intervals . Secondly , That matters may be deliver'd with as much caution for the certain truth of matters as such an undertaking will bear : But if any mistake of what kind soever shall happen ( this care and industry notwithstanding , ) the Publisher of these Sheets will take it very kindly to be inform'd ; and that whatsoever is amiss shall be constantly rectify'd in the Account ensuing to the said Information : And we shall give further to understand , that this Collection ( God willing ) shall be constantly publish'd the second Wednesday of every Month. Eight of these Monthly Accounts have already been Publish'd , and the Ninth is in the Press , and they are to be had for Six-pence a piece , and once in a Year they will make up a Bound Book in Quarto , of a considerable Volume ; besides , their containing ( as we have already said ) the whole History of all Modern Occurrences they will be intermixt and beautified with Tracts of Geography , Criticism ▪ and generally , all that falls within the Commonwealth of Learning ; as for example the foregoing Turkish Secretary being to be bound up with them : All which advantages joyn'd with their certainty will recommend 'em not only to the Cabinets of all the curious , but to all Publick Houses , as Coffee-Houses and others , where the Entertainment they afford must of necessity invite great resort . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A37114-e2570 * A Current Piece in Turkey of about a Groat or five pence value . * The Lock which men wear on the Crown of their head . 
A54783	----	A satyr against hypocrites Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1655 Approx. 51 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 14 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54783 Wing P2101 ESTC R19268 13054851 ocm 13054851 96986 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54783) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 96986) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 748:31) A satyr against hypocrites Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 25 p. : music Printed for N.B., London : 1655. Marginal notes. In verse. An attack upon Oliver Cromwell and puritanism by John Phillips, nephew of Milton, originally published in 1655. Published in 1661 under title, "The religion of the hypocritical Presbyterians in meeter", and in 1710 as, "Mr. John Milton's Satyre against hypocrites. Written whilst he was Latin secretary to Oliver Cromwell." Attributed to John Phillips. Cf. NUC pre-1956. Reproduction of original in Duke University Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Milton, John, 1608-1674. Cromwell, Oliver, 1599-1658. Presbyterianism. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion SATYR AGAINST HYPOCRITES . Si natura negat facit indignatio versum . Juvenal . Satyr . 1. LONDON , Printed for N. B. 1655. A SATYR AGAINST HIPOCRITES . TEdious have been our Fasts , and long our Prayers ; To keep the Sabbath such have been our cares , That Cisly durst not milk the gentle Mulls , To the great damage of my Lord Mayors Fooles , Which made the greazie Catchpoles swear and curse The Holy-day for want o'th'second course ; And men have lost their body's new adorning Because their cloathes could not come home that morning The sins of Parlament have long been bawl'd at , The vices of the City have been yawl'd at , Yet no amendment ; Certainly , thought I , This is a Paradox beyond all cry . Why if you ask the people , very proudly They answer straight , That they are very godly . Nor could we lawfully suspect the Priest , Alas , for he cry'd out , I bring you Christ : And trul ' he spoke with so much confidence , That at that time it seem'd a good pretence : Then where 's the fault ? thought I : Well , I must know , So putting on clean cuffs , to Church I go . Now 'gan the Bells to jangle in the Steeple , And in a row to Church went all the People . First came poor Matrons stuck with Lice like Cloves , Devoutly come to worship their white loaves ; And may be smelt above a German mile , Well , let them go to fume the Middle-Ile . But here 's the sight that doth men good to see 't , Grave Burghers , with their Posies , sweet , sweet , sweet , With their fat Wives . Then comes old Robin too , Who although write or read he neither do , Yet hath his Testament chain'd to his wast , And his blind zeal feels out the proofs as fast , And makes as greasie Dogs-ears as the best . A new shav'd Cobler follows him , as it hapt , With his young Cake-bread in his cloak close wrapt ; Then panting comes his Wife from t'other end O' th' Town , to hear Our Father and see a friend ; Then came the shops young fore-man , 't is presum'd , With hair rose-water'd , and his gloves perfum'd , With his blew shoo-strings too , and besides that , A riband with a sentence in his hat : The Virgins too , the fair one , and the Gypsie , Spectatum veniunt , venient spectentur ut ipsae And now the silk'n Dames throng in , good store , And casting up their noses to th' pew dore , Look with disdain to see the pew so full , Yet must and will have room , I , that they wull ; Streight that she sits not uppermost distast One takes ; 'T is fine that I must be displac't By you , she cries then , Good Mistris Gill Flurt ; Gill Flurt , enrag'd cries t'other , Why ye dirt - tie piece of Impudence , ye ill-bred Thief , I scorn your terms , good Mistris Thimble-mans wife . Marry come up , cries t'other , pray forbear , Surely your Husband 's but a Scavenger ; Cries t'other then , and what are you I pray ? No Aldermans wife for all you are so gay . Is it not you that to all Christenings frisk it ? And to save bread , most shamefully steal the bisket , At which the other mad beyond all law , Unsheaths her talons , and prepares to claw . And sure some gorgets had been torn that day , But that the Readers voice did part the fray . Now what a wardrobe could I put to view , The cloak-bag-breeches , and the sleek-stone shoe , Th' Embroider'd Girdles , and your Vsurers Cloaks , Of far more various forms than there be Oaks In Sherword , or Religions in this Town , Strong then of Cypres chest appears the Gown : The grogram-gown of such antiquity , That Speed could never find its pedigree ; Fit to be doted on by Antiquary's , Who hence may descant in their old Glossary's , What kind of fardingale fair Helen wore , How wings in fashion came , because wings bore The Swan-transformed Leda to Iove's lap , Our Matrons hoping thence the same good hap ; The pent-house bever , and calves-chaudron ruft , But of these frantick fashions now enough , For now there shall no more of them be said , Lest this my ware-house spoil the French-men's trade , And now as if I were that woollen-spinster , That doth so gravely show you Sarum Minster , I le lead you round the Church from pew to pew , And shew you what doth most deserve your view , There stood the Font , in times of Christianity , But now 't is tak'n down , men call it Vanity ; There the Church-VVardens sit , hard by the dore , But know ye why they sit among the Poor ? Because they love um well for love o' th' box , Their money buys good beef , good wine , good smocks . There sits the Clerk , and there the reverend Reader , And there 's the Pulpit for the good flock-Feeder , VVho in three lamentable dolefull ditty 's Unto their marriage-fees sing Nunc dimittis Here sits a learned Justice , truly so Some people say , and some again say no , And yet methinks in this he seemeth wise To make Stypone yeild him an excise , And though on Sundayes Ale-houses must down , Yet wisely all the week lets them alone , For well his Worship knows that Ale-house sins Maintain himself in gloves , his wife in pins . There sits the Mayor as fat as any Bacon With eating Custard , Beef , and rumps of Capon ; And there his corpulent Brethren sit by , With faces representing gravity , Who having money , though they have no wit , They wear gold chains , and here in green pews sit . There sit True-blew the honest Parish-masters . With Sattin Caps , and Ruffs , and Demi-casters , And faith that 's all ; for they have no rich fansies , No Poets are , nor Authors of Romances . There sits a Lady , painted fine by Art , And there sits curious Mistris Fiddle-cum-fart : There sits a Chamber-maid upon a Hassock , Whom th'Chaplain oft instructs without his Cassock : One more accustom'd unto Curtain-sins , Than woman is to wet her thumb , that spins . O what a gloss her forehead smooth adorns ! Excelling Phoebe with her silver horns . It tempts a man at first , yet strange to utter , When one comes near , fogh gudds , it stinks of butter . Another tripping comes to her Mistris's Pew , Where being arriv'd , she tryes if she can view Her young mans face , and straight heaves up her coats , That her sweet-heart may see her true-love knots . But having sate up late the night before To let the young man in at the back-dore . She feeleth drawziness upon her creeping , Turns down one proof , and then she falls a sleeping . Then fell her head one way , her book another , And she sleeps , and snores , a little a tone with t'other . That 's call'd the Gallery ; which ( as you may see ) Was trimm'd and guilt in the year Fifty three . T was a zealous work , and done by two Church-wardens , VVho for mis-reckoning hope to have their pardons , There Will writes short-hand with a pen of brass , Oh how he 's wonder'd at by many an asse That see him shake so fast his warry fist , As if he 'd write the Sermon 'fore the Priest Has spoke it ; Then , O that I could ( sayes one ) Do as but this man does , I 'de give a crown . Up goes another hand , up go his eyes , And he , Gifts , Industry , and talents cries . Thus are they plac'd at length : a tedious work , And now a bellowing noise went round the Kirk , From the low Font , up to the Golden Creed . ( O happy they who now no eares do need : ) VVhile these cought up their morning flegm , and those . Do trumpet forth the snivel of their nose ; Straight then the Clerk began with potsheard voice To grope a tune , singing with wofull noise , Like a crackt Sans-bell jarring in the Steeple , Tom Sternholds wretched Prick song to the people : VVho soon as he hath plac'd the first line through , Up steps Chuck-farthing then , and he reads too : This is the womans boy that sits i'th'Porch Till th' Sexton comes , and brings her stool to Church . Then out the people yaule an hundred parts , Some roar , some whine , some creek like wheels of Carts , Such Notes that Gamut never yet did know , Nor numerous keys of Harpsicalls in a row Their Heights and Depths could ever comprehend , Now below double Are some descend , 'Bove Ela squealing now ten notes some flie ; Straight then as if they knew they were too high , VVith head-long haste down staires again they tumble ; Discords and Concords O how thick they jumble ! Like untam'd horses tearing with their throats One wretched stave into an hundred notes . Some lazie-throated fellowes thus did baule They a i hin a moy a meat uh ga have a ha me uh a ha gall a. And some out-run their words and thus they say , Too cruel for to think a hum a haw , Now what a whetstone was it to devotion To see the pace , the looks , and every motion O' th Sunday Levite when up stairs he march't And first behold his little band stiff starcht , Two caps he had , and turns up that within , You 'd think he wore a black pot tipt with tin , His cuffs asham'd peep 't only out at 's wrist ; For they saw whiter gloves upon his fist , Out comes his kerchief then , which he unfolds As gravely as his Text. and fast he holds In 's wrath-denouncing hand ; then mark when he pray'd How he rear'd his reverend whites , and softly said A long most Mercifull , or O Almighty , Then out he whines the rest like some sad ditty , In a most dolefull recitative style , His buttocks keeping Crotchet-time the while ; And as he slubbers ore his tedious story Makes it his chiefest aim , his chiefest glory , T' excell the City Dames in speaking fine , O for the drippings of a fat Sir-loyn , Instead of Aron's oyntment for his face , When he cries out for greace instead of grace . Up stept another then , how sowre his face is ! How grim he lookt ! for he was one o th' Classis , And here he cries , Blood , blood , blood , destroy , O Lord ! The Covenant-breaker , with a two edg'd sword . Now comes another , of another strain , And he of Law and Bondage doth complain : Then shewing his broad teeth , and grinning wide , Aloud , Free grace , free grace , free grace , he cry'd . Up went a Chaplain then , fixing his eye Devoutly on his Patron 's gallery , Who as duty binds him , cause he eats their pyes , God bless my good Lord and my Lady , cryes , And 's hopeful Issue . Then with count'nance sad , Up steps a man stark revelation mad , And he , Cause us thy Saints , for thy dear sake , That we a bustle in the world may make , Thy enemies now rage , and by and by He tears his throat for the fift Monarchy . Another mounts his chin , East , West , North , South , Gaping to catch a blessing in his mouth , And saying , Lord ! we dare not ope our eyes Before thee , winks for fear of telling lies . Mean while the vulgar frie sit still , admiring Their pious sentences , as all inspiring ; At every period they sigh and grone , Though he speak sometimes sense , and sometimes none : Their zeal doth never let them mind that matter , It is enough to hear the Magpy chatter ; They croud , they thrust , are crouded , and are thrusted , Their pews seem pasties , wherein they incrusted , Together bake and fry ; O patience great ! Yet they endure , though almost drown'd in sweat . It seem'd as if those steaming vapours were To stew hard doctrines in , and to prepare Their rugged doubts , that might breed some disease Being tak'n raw in queasie consciences . But further mark their great humility , Their tender love , and mutual charity , The short man's shoulder bore the tall man's elbow , Nor he so much as call'd him Scurvy fellow , Wrarh was forgot , all anger was forborn , Although his neighbour trod upon his corn ; And in a word , all men were meek and humble , Nor dar'd the Sexton , though unfeed , to grumble ; He honest man went with his neck a skew , Gingling his bunch of keys from pew to pew ; Good man to 's Market-day he bore no spleen , But wish'd the seven dayes had Sabbaths been ; How he worships sattin , with what a Gospel-fear He admires the man that doth a bever wear , Room , room , bear leave , he cries , then not unwilling With a Pater noster face receives the shilling . But what was more religious than to see The women in their streins of pietie , Who like the Seraphins in various hews Adorn'd the Chancell and the highest pews . Stand up good middle-Ile-folks and give room , See where the Mothers and the Daughters come ! Behind the Servants looking all like Martyrs , With Bibles in plush jerkins and blew garters , The silver Inkhorn , and the writing book , In which I wish no friend of mine to look . Nor must we now forget the Children too , Who with their fore-tops gay stand up i th pew . Brought there to play at Church , and to be chid , And for discourse at meals what children did . Well , be good children , for the time shall come , When on the Pulpit-stairs ye shall have room , There to be asked many a Question deep , By th' Parson , with his dinner , half a sleep . But now aloft the Preacher 'gan to thunder , When the poor women they sit trembling under , And if he name Gehenna or the Dragon , Their faith , alas ! was little then to brag on ; Or if he did relate , how little wit The foolish Virgins had , then do they sit Weeping with watry-eyes , and making vows One to have Preachers alwayes in her house , To dine them well , and breakfast 'um with gellies , And caudles hot to warm their wambling bellies ; And if the cash , where she could not unlock it , Were close secur'd , to pick her Husbands pocket . Another something a more thrifty sinner , To invite the Parson twice a week to dinner ; The other vows a purple Pulpit-cloth , With an embroyder'd Cushion , being loth When the fierce Priest his Doctrine hard unbuckles , That in the passion he should hurt his knuckles . Nay , in the Church-yard too was no small throng , And on the Window-bars in swarms they hung : And I could see that many Short-hand wrote , Where listning well , I could not hear a jote ; Friend , this is strange , quoth I , but he reply'd , Alas ! your ears are yet unsanctifi'd . Cuds so , I had even almost now forgot To tell you th' chiefest thing of all ; what 's that ? How the good women in a row do come , To bring the New-born babe to Christendome . The Midwife , Captain of the gang , walks first , Laden with Childe , and Naples-bisket crust ; Most reverently she steps , drest all in print , If she be not a Saint the Devils in 't : For so demure she looks , that you would guess She were some holy penitent Votaress , With eyes and mouth set in her Looking-glass , On purpose for to carry Babe of Grace : Nor is 't a thing inspir'd , but got by Art , And Practice , as the Beggar learnt to Fart . Then follow th' Guests , each one in her degree , Most punctual in their Parish-Heraldry . Being come to Church , they keep their close order , And go on , and go on , and go farther and farther , Till they arrive where for the Priests ease , God wot , Stands a pretty , little , stone Syllabub-pot ; Water 't had in 't , though but a little , God knows , Scarcely to wet the tip of the Childs nose : Men say there was a secret wisdom then , That rul'd the strange opinions of these men ; For by much washing Child got cold in head , Which was the cause so many Saints snuffled : Oh cry'd another sect , let 's wash the cock , And eke that other thing that lurks in smock ; Th●●e were the members whence did first arise The sinfull cause of all our miseries . But their wise Wives reply'd , fuming and fretting , 'T was dangerous , least the part● should shrink in wetting ; And for that cause they only did be-sprinkle The pretty Birdsney-Pigsney-Periwinkle . Now when the Priest had spoke , and made an end , And that the Child was made the Churches friend , The women straightway they went home agen , To talk of things which they conceal from men : Then Midwife carries Child t' ask Mother blessing , Who gives it a kiss in her Flanders-lace dressing , She sate with Curtains drawn , most princum prancum , And call'd the women every one to thank 'um : Full threescore pound it cost in Plumbs and Dishes , Which women eat as Pikes eat little Fishes ; But when the Claret and Hypocriss came in , Then the tittle tattle began to begin ; The Midwife takes a Tankard and drinks up all , Of all the Saints , quoth she , God bless St. Paul , He bid the men give the women their due ; If they do'nt , may the women ne're prove true : Well fare my Son here , he is a yonng man , But let any other do better if he can ; Five in six years ! — hey ho , — here daughter , Here 's to the next bout , and what shall come after . But what ayles my Neighbour here to look so grum ? A year and a half , and nothing yet come . — Alas , I lost time , quoth she , I married a Fool , — 'T was six months ere he knew he was to use his tool : But I ha' taught him a new lesson I faith ; quo I , fye upon 't , Such a fool at these years , — but learn more wit , — if ye do'nt — Alas , cryes one , you are happy to me , Weeping and drinking most heartily , My Husband whores and drinks all the week , Judge you then Neighbours how I am to seek : ( Then they all shook their heads , and lookt most sad ) These are they , quoth the Midwife , spoyl our trade ; But be of good cheer daughter , come , come , If he wont , another must in his room . Alas , quoth she , with a jolly red Nose , There 's many an able Christian , God knows , Would leap at that which thy Husband despises : Then 'gin they to talk of the several sizes , Of the long , and the short , the little and great , 'T would put a modest Gam ster into a sweat . I thank my God , quoth the Midwife then , I have buried three Husbands , all proper men ; I thank my God for 't , though I say 't that shou'd not , Yet I can't say , like one that understood not , There was no difference between the three , But if any man a good workman be , He may well do enough , if he be intent , To give a reasonable She content . I speak merrily Neighbours , — hah — hah — here 's to you all , God send us more of these good jobs to fall : By and by they single out a poor woman , That has had the luck to have as good as no man ; But her they use m●st unmercifully , Calling her Husband Do-little , and Cully , Fumbler and Gelding , and then they all exhort her , Rather then be sham'd , to hire some strong Porter . Now after this discourse , and th' Wines drank up , They all depart to their own homes to sup ; After that to bed , and 't is a pound to a doight , If their Husbands sleep for their Quail-pipes that night . Others not so concern'd , walk in the fields , To give their longing Wives what Cake-house yields ; And as they go , God , Grace , and Ordinances , Is all their chat , they seem in heav'nly trances ; Thus they trim up their souls with holy words , Shaving off sin as men shave off their Beards , To grow the faster ; sins , they cry , are fancies , The Godly live above all Ordinances . Now they 're at home , and have their suppers eat , When Thomas , cryes the Master , come , repeat ; And if the windows gaze upon the street , To sing a Psalm they hold it very meet . But would you know what a preposterous zeal They sing their Hymnes withall ? then listen well ; The Boy begins , Go too therefore ye wicked men , ' Depart from me [ Thomas ] anon , For the [ Yes Sir ] commandments will I keep Of God [ Pray remember to receive the 100 l. in Gracious-street to morrow ] my Lord alone . As thou has promis'd to perform , [ Mary , anon forsooth ] That death me not assaile , [ Pray remember to rise betimes to morrow morning , you know you have a great many cloaths to soap ] Nor let my hope abuse me so , That through distrust I quaile . But Sunday now good night , and now good morrow , To thee oh Covenant Wednesday full of sorrow : Alas ! my Lady Anne wont now be merry , She 's up betimes , and gone to Alderman-bury ; Truly 't was a sad day , for every sinner Did feast a supper then , and not a dinner ; Nor men nor women wash their face to day , Put on their cloaths , and piss , and so away ; They throng to Church just as they sell their ware , In greasie hats , and old gowns worn thread bare , Where , though the whole body suffered tedious pain , No member yet had more cause to complain Than the poor nose , when little to its ease , A Chandlers cloak perfum'd with candle-grease , Commixing sents with a Sope-boylers breeches , Did raise a stink beyond the skill of Witches . Now steams of Garlick whifting through the nose , Smelt worse than Assa-fetida , or Luthers hose ; With these mundungus , and a breath that smells Like standing pools in subterraneal cells . Compos'd Pomanders to out-stink the Devil , Yet strange to tell , they suffer'd all this evil , Nor to make water all the while would rise , The women sure had spunges 'twixt their thighs : To stir at this good time they thought was sin , So strictly their devotion kept them in . Now the Priests elbows do the cushion knead , While to the people he his Text doth read , Beloved , I shall here crave leave to speak A word , he cries and winks , unto the weak , The words are these , Make haste and do not tarry , But unto Babylon thy dinner carry , There doth young Daniel want in the Den , Thrown among Lyons by hard-hearted men . Here my Beloved , and then he reaches down His hand , as if he 'd catch the Clerk by th'crown . Not to explain this pretious Text amiss , Daniel's the subject , Hunger th' object is , Which proves that Daniel was subject to hunger , But that I may'nt detain you any longer , My Brethren dear prick up your ears , and put on Your senses all while I the words unbutton . Make haste , I say , make haste and do not tarry , ] Why ? my Beloved , these words great force do carry . Au ! 't is a waundrous emphatical speech , Some men Beloved ; as if th 'had lead i' their breech , Do walk , some creep like Snails , they 're so sloe pac't , Truly , my Brethren , these men do not make haste . But be ye quick dear Sisters , be ye quick , And lest ye fall , take hope , hope 's like a stick . To babylon ] Ah Babylon ! that word 's a weighty one , Truly 't was a great City , and a mighty one . Which as the learned Rider well records , Semiramis did build with brick and bords . Wicked Semiramis , accursed Bitch ! My spirit is mightily provok'd against that wretch . Lustful Semiramis , for will I wist Thou wert the mother of proud Antichrist . Nay , like to Levi and Simeon from antiquity , The Pope and thee were Sisters in iniquity . Strumpet Semiramis , like her was non , For she built Babylon , Ah! she built Babylon . But , Brethren , be ye good as she was evil , Must ye needs go because she 's gone to the Devil ? Thy dinner carry . ] Here may we look upon A childe of God in great affliction : Why what does he aile ? Alas ! he wanteth meat , Now what ( Beloved ) was sent him for to eat ? Truly a small matter ; only a dish of pottage , But pray what pottage ? Such as a small cottage Afforded only to the Country swains , From whence , though not a man the place explains , 'T is guess'd that neither Christmas pottage 't was , Nor white-broth , nor capon-broth , good for sick maws , Or milk-porrage , or thick pease-porrage either , Nor was it mutton-broth , nor veal broth neither , Nor any broth of noble tast or scent , Made by receipt of the Countess of Kent ; But sure some homely stuff crum'd with brown-bread , And thus was Daniel , good Daniel fed . Truly , this was but homely fare you 'l say , Yet Daniel , good Daniel was content that day . And though there could be thought-on nothing cheaper , Yet fed as well on 't as he had been a reaper . Better eat any thing than not at all , Fasting , Beloved , why ? 't is prejudiciall To the weak Saints ; Beloved , 't is a sin , And thus to prove the same I here begin : Hunger , Beloved , why ? this hunger mauls , Au ! 't is a great mauler , it breaks stone-walls ; Now my Beloved , to break stone-walls you know , Why 't is flat felony , and there 's great woe Follows that sin , besides 't is a great schism , 'T is ceremonious , 't is Pagan Judism ; Judism ? why Beloved , have you ere been Where the black Dog of Newgate you have seen ? Hair'd like a Turk , with eyes like Antichrist , He doth and hath ye Brethren long entic't . Claws like a Star-chamber Bishop , black as hell , and doubtless he was one of those that fell . Judism I say is uglier than this curr , Though he appear'd wrapt up in Bear-skin furr . Thrown among Lyons by hard-hearted men , ] Here Daniel is the Church , the World 's the Den. By Lyons are meant Monarchs , Kings of Nations , Those worse than heathenish abominations : Truly dear friends , these Kings and Governours , These Bishops too , nay all superiour powers , Why they are Lyons , Locusts , Whales , I Whales , beloved , Off goes our ears if once their wrath be moved ; But woe unto you Kings ! woe to your Princes ! 'T is fifty and four , now Antichrist , so says My Book , must reign three days , and three half days , Why that is three years and a half beloved . Or else as many precious men have proved , One thousand two hundred and threescore dayes ; Why now the time 's almost expir'd , time stayes For no man ; friends then Antichrist shall fall , Then down with Rome , with Babel , down with all , Down with the Devil , the Pope , the Emperour , With Cardinals , and th' King of Spain's great power ; They 'l muster up , but I can tell you where , At Armageddon , there , Beloved , there , Fall on , fall on , kill , kill , haloo , haloo , Kill Amalek , and Turk , kill Gog and Magog too . But who dear friends fed Daniel thus forsaken , Truly ( but there 's one sleeps , a would do well to waken ) As 't is in th' English his name ends in uck , And so his name is called Habacuck . But in th' original it ends in Ock , For that dear Sisters calls him Have-a-Cock . And truly I suppose I need not fear But that there are many Have-a-Cocks here : The Laud increase the number of Have-a-Cocks , Truly false Prophets will arise in flocks ; But as a ●arding-candle shut up quite In a dark Lanthorn never giveth light ; Even such are they . Ay but my breathren dear , I 'm no such Lanthorn , for my horns are clear ▪ But I shall now conclude this glorious truth With an Exhortation to old men and youth : Be sure to feed young Daniel , that 's to say , Feed all your Ministers that preach and pray . First of all , 'cause 't is good , I speak that know so , And by experience find 't is good to do so : Fourthly , 'cause 't is not evil ; Nextly and Thirdly , For that 't is very good , unless the Word lye . Sixthly , for that y' are mov'd thereto ; and Twelfthly , 'Cause there 's nought better , unless I my self lye . But now he smells the Pyes begin to reak , His teeth water , and he can no longer speak : Only it will not be amiss to tell ye How he was troubled with a womans belly ; For she was full of caudle and devotion , Which in her stomach raised a commotion , For the hot vapours much did damnifie Her that was wont to walk in Finsbury . So though a while she was sustain'd with ginger , Yet at the length a cruel pain did twinge her ; And like as marble sweats before a shower , So did she sweat , and sweating forth did pour Her mornings draught of Sugar-sops and Saffron , Into her sighing neighbours Cambrick apron . At which a Lard she cry'd , full sad to see The foul mishap , yet suffer'd patiently : How do you , then she cry'd ? I 'me glad 't is up : Ah sick , sick , sick ; cryes one , Oh for a cup Of my mint water that 's at home : As patt as might be , then the Parson cry'd , 'T is good ; one holds her head , let 't come , let 't come , Still crying ; just i' th' nick the Priest reply'd , Yea like a stream ye ought to let it flow , And then she reach'd , and once more let it go . Streight an old woman with a brace of chins , A bunch of keys , and cushion for her pins , Seeing in earnest the good woman lack it , Draws a Strong-water bottle from her placket ; Well heated with her flesh , she takes a sup , Then gives the sick , and bids her drink it up . But all in vain , her eyes begin to roul , She sighs , and all cry out , alas poor soul ! One then doth pinch her cheek , one pulls her nose , Some blest the opportunity that were her foes , And they reveng'd themselves upon her face , S. Dunstans Devil was ne're in such a case . Now Priest say what thou wilt , for here 's a chat Begun of this great Empyrick , and that Renowned Doctor , what cures they have done : I like not Mayern , he speaks French sayes one . Oh sayes another , though the man be big , For my part I know none like Dr. Trig. Nay , hold you there sayes t'other , on my life There 's none like Chamberlain the Man-midwife . Then in a heap , their own receipts they muster , To make this gelly , how to make that plaster , Which when she hears that but now fainting lay , Up starteth she , and talks as fast as they . But they that did not mind this dolefull passion , Followed their business on another fashion ; For all did write , the Elder and the Novice , Methought the Church lookt like the Six-Clerks-Office ▪ But Sermon 's done , and all the folks as fast As they can trudge , to Supper now make hast : Down comes the Priest , when a grave Brother meets him , And putting off his broad-brim'd hat , thus greets him : Dear Sir , my Wife and I do you invite O' th' Creature with us to partake this night : And now suppose what I prepare to tell ye , The City-dame , whose faith is in the belly Of her cram'd Priest , had all her cates in order , That Gracious-street , or Cheap-side can afford her . Lo first a Pudding ! truly 't had more Reasons Than forty Sermons shew at forty seasons . Then a Sur-loyn came in , as hot as fire , Yet not so hot as was the Priests desire . Next came a shoulder of Mutton roasted raw , To be as utterly abolisht as the Law. The next in order was a Capon plump , With an Use of Consolation in his rump . Then came a Turkey cold , which in its life Had a fine tail , just like the Citizens wife . But now by 'r leave and worship too , for hark ye , Here comes the Venson put in Paste by Starkey : Which once set down there , at the little hole Immediately in whips the Parsons soul. He saw his Stomachs anchor , and believ'd That now his belly should not be deceiv'd . How he leans ore the cheer toward his first mover ! While his hot zeal doth make his mouth run over . This Pastie had Brethren too , like to the Mayor , Three Christmas , or Minc'd-pyes , all very fair : Methought they had this Motto , Though they flirt us , And preach us down , Sub pondere crescit virtus . Apple-tarts , Fools , and strong Cheese to keep down The steaming vapours from the Parsons crown . Canary too , and Claret eke also , Which made the tips of their ears and noses glow . Up now they rise , and walk to their several chairs , When lo , the Priest uncovers both his ears ▪ Most gracious Shepherd of the Brethren all , Thou saidst that we should eat , before the Fall ; Then was the world but simple , for they knew Not either how to bake , or how to brew . But happily we fell , and then the Vine Did Noah plant , and all the Priests drank wine : Truly we cannot but rejoyce to see Thy gifts dispenc'd with such equality . To us th' hast given wide throats , and teeth to eat ; To the women , knowledge how to dress our meat . Make us devoutly constant in thy cup , And grant us strength when we shall cease to sup , To bear away thy creatures on our feet , And not be seen to tumble in the street . We are thy sheep , O let us feed , feed on , Till we become as fat as any Brawn . Then let 's fall to , and eat up all the cheer ; Straight So be it he cryes , and calls for beer . Now then , like Scanderbeg , he falls to work , And hews the Pudding as he hew'd the Turk : How he plough'd up the Beef like Forrest-land , And fum'd because the bones his wrath withstand ▪ Upon the Mutton he fell like Woolf or Mastie , Still hewing out his way unto the Pastie : At first a Sister helpt him , but this Elfe sir , Wearying her out , she cryes , Pray help your self sir. Upon the Pastie though he fell anon , As if 't had been the walls of Babylon . Like a Cathedral down he throws that stuff , Why , Sisters , saith he , I am pepper proof . Then down he pours the Claret , and down again , And would the French King were a Puritan , He cryes : swills up the Sack , and I 'le be sworn , Quoth he , Spains King is not the Popes tenth horn . By this his tearing hunger doth abate , And on the second course they 'gan to prate . Then quoth Priscilla , Oh my brother dear , Truly y' are welcome to this homely chear , And therefore eat , good brother , eat your fill ▪ Alas for Daniel my heart aketh still . Then quoth the Priest , Sister be of good heart ; But she reply'd , good Brother eat some Tart. Rebecca then a member of the ' lection , Began to talk of Brotherly affection ; For this , said she , as I have heard the wise Discourse , consisteth much in exercise ; Yet I was foolish once , and did resist , And but that a dear Brother would not desist , Carried forth by a strong believing power That I would yield at length , even to this hour I had liv'd in darkness still , and had not known What joys the Laud revealeth to his own . Then said the Priest , there is a time for all things , There is a time for great things , and for small things : There 's a time to eat , and drink , and reformation , A time to empty , and for procreation ; Therefore dear Sister , we may take our time , There 's reason for 't , I never car'd for Rhyme . Do not the wicked Heathen speak and say , Gather your Flowers and Rose-buds while you may ? Ay truly , answer'd she , 't is such a motion As alwayes I embrac'd with warm devotion : I mean since it did please the Laud in mercy , To shew me things by feeling , not by hear-say ; And truly Brother , there 's no man can prove That I was ere ingratefull for his love ; But sometimes Angels did attend his Purse , At other times I did him duly nurse With many a secret dish of lusty meat , Which did enable us to do the feat . Truly quoth Dorcas then , I saw a Vision , That we should have our foes in great derision . Quoth Martha straight , ( and then she shook the crums From off her apron white , and pickt her gums ) So did I too ; methought I went a Maying , And the Word of the Laud came to me , saying , Martha put off thy cloaths , for time is come , That men may bauble shew , and women bum , For that the seed of them that do profess , Shall only need be cloath'd with Righteousness . 'T is true dear Sister , there are some that now Are come to this perfection , and I trow We may in time grow up to be as they , Grant us , ah Laud , that we may see that day ; Let 's i th' mean time at home and eke abroad , Uncloath and unbrace our selves before the Laud , On all occasions that time shall yield , That our dear Sisters dream may be fulfill'd . Why did not Iacob dream , and so it was ; And Pharoah dreamt , and so it came to pass . Then Dorcas cry'd , reach me the Cheese up hither ; Sister , quoth she , give this unto our Brother , 'T is very good , if well wash'd down with Sack , His wasted spirits much refreshing lack . Recruited thus , All this good chear , quoth he , Is but an Emblem of Mortality . The Oxe is strong , and glories in his strength , Yet him the Butcher knocks down , and at length We eat him up . A Turkey's very gay , Like worldly people clad in fine array ; Yet on the Spit it looks most piteous , And we devour it , as the Worms eat us . Then full of sawce and zeal up steps Elnathan , [ This was his name now , once he had another , Untill the Ducking-pond made him a Brother ] A Deacon and a Buffeter of Sathan : Truly , quoth he , I know a Brother dear , Would gladly pick the bones of what 's left here ; Nay he would gladly pick your pockets too Of a small two pence , or a groat , or so , The sorry remnants of a broken shilling ; Therefore I pray you friends be not unwilling . As for my self , 't is more than I do need , To be charitable both in word and deed ; For as to us , the holy Scriptures say , The Deacons must receive , the Lay-men pay . Why Heathen folks that do in Taverns stray , Will never let their friends the reckning pay ; And therefore pour your charity into the bason , Brethren and Sisters eke , your coats have lace on . Why Brethren in the Lord , what need you care For sixpence ? we 'll next morn enhance our ware : Your sixpence comes again , nay there comes more ; Thus Charity 's th' encreaser of your store . Truly well spoke , then cry'd the Master-feaster , Since you say so , I freely give my tester : But for the women , they gave more liberally , For they were sure to whom they gave , and why . Then did Elnathan blink , for he knew well What he might give , and what he might conceal . But now the Parson could no longer stay , 'T is time to kiss , he cryes , and so away : At which the Sisters , once th' alarum taken , Made such a din as would have serv'd to waken A snoring Brother , when he sleeps at Church ; With bagg and baggage then they 'gan to march ; And tickled with the thoughts of their delight , One Sister to the other bids Good night . Good night , quoth Dorcas to Priscilla ; she , Good night dear Sister Dorcas unto thee . In these goodly good nights much time was spent , And was it not a holy complement ? At length in steps the Parson , on his breast Laying his hand , A happy night of rest Refresh thy labours , Sister ; yet ere we part , Feel in my lips the passion of my heart . To another straight he turn'd his face , and kist her , And then he cryes , All peace be with thee Sister . Next her that made the Feast he kisses harder , And in a Godly tone , cryes , God reward her : And having done , he whispers in her ear , The time when it should be , and the place where . Thus they all part , and for that night the Priest Enjoys his own Wife , as good as ever pist . This seem'd a golden time , the fall of sin , You 'd think the thousand years did now begin , When Satan chain'd below should cease to roar , Nor durst the wicked as they wont before Come to the Church for pastime , nor durst laugh To hear the non-plust Doctor faign a cough . The Devil himself , alas ! now durst not stand Within the switching of the Sextons wand , For so a while the Priests did him pursue , That he was fain to keep the Sabboth too , Lest being taken in the Elders lure , He should have paid his crown unto the poor ; And lest he should like a deceiver come 'Twixt the two Sundays inter stitium , They stuft up Lecturers with texts and straw , On working-days to keep the Devil in awe . But strange to think , for all this solemn meekness , At length the Devil appeared in his likeness , While these deceits did but supply the wants Of broken unthrifts , and of thread-bare Saints ▪ Oh what will men not dare , if thus they dare Be impudent to Heaven , and play with Prayer ! Play with that fear , with that religious awe Which keeps men free , and yet is mans great law : What can they but the worst of Atheists be , Who while they word it 'gainst impiety , Affront the throne of God with their false deeds , Alas , this wonder in the Atheist breeds . Are these the men that would the Age reform , That Down with Superstition cry , and swarm This painted Glass , that Sculpture to deface , But worship pride , and avarice in their place . Religion they bawl out ; yet know not what Religion is , unless it be to prate . Meekness they preach , but study to controul ; Money they 'd have , when they cry out your soul. And angry , will not have Our Father said , 'Cause it prays not enough for daily bread . They meet in private , and cry Persecution , When Faction is their end , and State-confusion : These are the men that plague and over-run Like Goths and Vandalls all Religion . Every Mechanick either wanting stock , Or wit to keep his trade must have a flock , The Spirit , cryes he , moveth me unto it , And what the Spirit bids , must I not do it ? But having profited more than his flock by teaching , And stept into authority by preaching For a lay Office , leaves the Spirits motion And streight retreateth from his first devotion . But this he does in want , give him preferment , Off goes his gown , God's call is no determent . Vain foolish people , how are ye deceiv'd ? How many several sorts have ye receiv'd Of things call'd truths , upon your backs laid on Like Saddles for themselves to ride upon ? They rid amain , and hell and Satan drove , While every Priest for his own profit strove . Can they the age thus torture with their lyes , Low'd bellowing to the world Impieties , Black as their coats , and such a silent fear Lock up the lips of men , and charm the ear ? Had that same holy Israelite been dumb , That fatal day of old had never come To Baals Tribe ; oh thrice unhappy age ! While zeal and piety lye mask'd in rage And vulgar ignorance ! How we do wonder Once hearing , that the heavens were forc'd to thunder Against assailing Gyants , surely men , Men thought could not presume such violence then : But 't was no Fable , or if then it were , Behold a sort of bolder mortals here , Those undermining shifts of knavish folly , Using alike to God and men ; most holy Infidels , who now seem to have found out A subtler way to bring their ends about Against the Deity , than op'nly to fight ; By smooth insinuation and by slight : They close with God , seem to obey his Laws , They cry aloud for him and for his cause . But while they do their strict injunctions preach . Deny in actions what their words do teach . O what will men not dare , if thus they dare Be impudent to Heaven , and play with Prayer ! Yet if they can no better teach than thus , Would they would only teach themselves , not us : So while they still on empty outsides dwell , They may perhaps be choakt with husk and shell ; While those who can their follies well refute , By a true knowledge do obtain the fruit . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54783-e100 Ingredients that compound a Congregation . Hang it . Robert Wisdom's delight . Practice of Piety . Hey-day ! Jack-a-dandy . To be heard of men . To the Tune of S. Margarets Chimes . Behold the zeal of the people . The Exposition . 1 Vse . Not like an Anchor . Babel battered . 2 Vse . Would he have been so content . 3 Vse . Several Reasons . Description of Antichrist . And hey then up go we . ☜ The Doctrine of Generation . For Ministers may be Cuckolds . Vse of Exhortation . Motives 1. 4. 3. 6. 12. Hunger a great enemy to Gospel-duty . A Crop-sick sister . A very great Creature-comfort . A great cry , and a little wool . A great sign of grace . Bill of fare . Grace before meat . Much good may do you Sir. Christian forgivenes● No Grace after meat , Nothing beyond ingratitude . A man may love his Brother , but Not better than himself . Christian Liberty . Ne're a prophane kiss among all these . 
A54796	----	A vindication of The character of a popish successor, in a reply to two pretended ansvvers to it by the author of the character. Settle, Elkanah, 1648-1724. 1681 Approx. 43 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54796 Wing P2114 ESTC R6364 13501951 ocm 13501951 99784 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54796) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 99784) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 472:13) A vindication of The character of a popish successor, in a reply to two pretended ansvvers to it by the author of the character. Settle, Elkanah, 1648-1724. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 15 p. Printed for R. Dew, London : 1681. Attributed to Elkanah Settle. Cf. NUC pre-1956. Attributed also to John Phillips. Cf. NUC pre-1956. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng L'Estrange, Roger, -- Sir, 1616-1704. -- Character of a papist in masquerade. Settle, Elkanah, 1648-1724. -- Character of a popish successor. -- Part 2. Great Britain -- Kings and rulers -- Succession. Great Britain -- History -- Charles II, 1660-1685. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A VINDICATION OF THE CHARACTER OF A Popish Successor : IN A REPLY TO Two Pretended ANSVVERS to it . By the Author of the CHARACTER . LONDON : Printed for R. Dew . 1681. A VINDICATION OF THE CHARACTER OF A Popish Successor : In a REPLY to two pretended ANSWERS , &c. A Reply to the first Answer printed by N. Thompson . THERE has lately , as the Author has most truly exprest , a very slight . Reply been made to a Pamphlet call'd , A Character of a Popish Successor ; in which he arraigns the Pamphleteer ( as he calls him ) of contradictory discourse and reasoning , but says his principles are not so : To prove which he allows you to fancy a picture of the late Rebellion ; for like that it begins with fears and jealousies of Religion , Liberty and Property , and continues in murmur and revile at the Imperial Root , and to stiffen the knees that would bow to a crowned head . The last two parts of this Inditement has been so far from being justified by the Author , that where he found them , they were own'd , as the evil effects of a worse cause : but by advising us not to be subdued like less than English men ; not to submit our necks like slaves to the Roman yoke , he does infer , we must repel a King under the name of an Invader . Truly when tho' by the permission or aid of any English King , Popery , Superstition , Idolatry , and Cruelty , are entring our Gates , and are ready to butcher our Protestant Ministers at their Divine Worship , make Human Smithfield Sacrifice of us , our Wives and Children ; we justly may resist the Invading Tyrannick Power of Rome . In the next place our Answering Pamphleteer would have you believe , notwithstanding your own sense and reason to the contrary , there is no just fear of Popery , nor any danger in any of their Plots ; but from his own wise suppositions drawn from 41 , and 48. has found or made a Plot , and as prudently laid it at the Presbyterians door ; a Plot so subtil , that they have outdone the very Jesuits themselves in the contrivance ; and laid it with so much art and cunning , that no heart could have imagined it , nor no eye discerned it but his . And now let us take notice who this honest Gentleman under the sinily of his Leviathans , means , that sport and take their pastimes in our troubled deep ; whose restless and uneasie rolling does not foretell , but is it self the storm . But I think , with our wise Authors leave , this had been better proved , before so positively asserted , considering 't is no less than three whole successive Parliaments ( his Leviathans ) that have been restless to find out a Plot , and vigorous to prevent our ruin ; all which he has drawn in as the greatest , nay only principals of our destruction , and as his Text goes , are themselves the storm or Plot ; he musters up a thundering accusation against them , that they foment the people into rebellion , distract them with dreadful apprehensions , casting them into a raving frenzy ; and as the greatest plague of the wicked , makes them afraid where no fear is . And this honest well principled man is all this while a man of the Church of England . And to prove the correspondence of this truth with that of his Pamphlet , we may easily remember , that all the Parliaments were not all Presbyters ; the first Parliament were all men chose at His Majesties blessed Restoration , when there was not the least favour for that Party ; and those Loyal , Wise , and Honest Patriots of their Countrey , gave the first blow to the Plot , first Allarmed the people , made Tests , and removed the DUKE out of his places and seat in Parliament ; yet these are the men , and this the storm which is ready to shatter our Royal Vessel , the Brittish Kingdom , into pieces . But since he is a zealous Protestant , they have no reason to be angry at his making bold with his own Party . But why should we stand in fear of Popery ? Ay , why indeed , says he ? He has no fear at all ; they will not hurt him for his Religion , then why should we fear ? But alas ! all are not such Protestants as he , Heaven knows , such Champions for their Cause and Interest ; and therefore we may have reason to fear , notwithstanding all his brotherly advice to the contrary . In the next place let us see what small difference he makes between the principles of the Church of Rome , and those of the Church of England ; only a few disputable matters of faith , and not very material Ceremonies of Divine Worship ; as what harm is it to pray to Saints , to worship Images ? or what great matter to believe the Infallibility of the Pope , or the Transubstantiation in the Sacrament , or to allow the Doctrine of the Roman Church without error , when it shall depose and murder Kings , command Massacres , make Plots , Fire Cities , Canonize the principal Actors of their Revenge and barbarous Cruelties , and consecrate the Instruments of death ? Is it not hard , says our honest Protestant , that these frivolous divisions on a sudden should ruine and efface all those good characters of Magnanimity and Iustice , of Generosity and Goodness in this our Popish Prince , which even his greatest enemies , nay the most detestable Character it self allows him ? Indeed Mr. Scribler , I remember no such allowance ; but as your self remarkt , suppose , and suppose : But if the encouraging of Plots and Popery , holding correspondence with his Holiness and other Forreign Princes , contrary to the Laws of this Nation , be Virtues , those and more perhaps of such a nature , may be allowed him . In the next place he takes a great deal of pains to let you know what the Virtues are ; which though the Characterizer does not understand , he does especially when Cardinal ; and to shew you he is a man of truth , and can keep his word sometimes , he has there made so slight a Reply , as I have not thought it worth the answering , but will refer the ingenious Reader to compare that part of the Character with his Answer ; and now I will skip over this page , as he has done several which he could not with all his stock of Impudence defend . Well now , says he , since we have Laws to suppress Popery , what remains then for a Popish King , but to put those Laws in execution ; and for us , but to sit down under the shadow of this Fence ? Yes , I think a greater assurance that he will execute them , than our Answerer can give . His next Argument , or rather Opinion , is so far from thinking that the Reign of a Popish King can be any ways advantageous to the Iesuitical Instruments , that he rather believes it will be their destruction ; and why ? because there is Laws of foree against them , and the power of executing those Laws he himself has already given to the people ; and which he has concluded they will more vigorously do under such a King. But hold ! this Sham wont pass ; we know the people may convict them ; but none can punish them but their Prince . But if the people by the authority of our Scribler do , what will he have this King to be the mean time asleep ? or with all his Cardinal Virtues an Atheist ? for if he is not a Papist , he has no pretence to any Religion , having himself renounc't all Churches else . Certainly he must be the first of these two , if this power be assumed in his Reign , without his permission ; and the last , if with it . For no man can be , or pretend to be a Son of the Church of Rome , that will not be obedient to all her principles and commands , and will not maintain on all occasions to their utmost power , her Cause and Interest : He shall no sooner refuse or neglect to do this , but he shall be exploded as the basest Coward , and excommunicated as the vilest Heretick . Besides , there will be more danger for him to permit their punishments , than any other Prince whatever ; for as their hopes in him has given them almost assurances of their utmost wishes ; so will their hatred and malice be greater to him , when they shall find themselves more than frustrate of all their ambitious expectations . And if an Atheist , ( a man that believes no God , no punishment for Vice , nor no reward for Virtue ) to pretend to be of a Religion by which he has banisht himself his native Countrey , lost the hearts of three Kingdoms , and thrust himself for ever from a Throne , he must be the greatest mad man , or the most a Fool in the Creation ; and I think it not fit for either of these to wear a Crown , or a Papist our English Diadem . And prudently considering all this , that exclusive Bill in Parliament , was like the wise Fathers advice to rash Phaeton , as much for his own good as the Kingdoms safety ; for no doubt but if ever he should ascend this Throne , and hurried on by the furious conduct of his Romish Counsellors till he had set his Nation in a flame , he himself at last will most certainly perish in his own fires . Now our Answerer bids us consider the weight of a Coronation Oath with a Prince of any sense of Honour or Religion , and he has promis'd upon this account ( pray Heaven he keeps his word ! ) a very smart argument , which he makes out thus ; He has a double tye , of Nature and Religion . Those tyes indeed ought to be very strong ; but how strong the tyes of Nature and Gratitude to the best of Kings and Brothers , are in him , has been sufficiently experienced , and largely treated of in the Popish Character ; but for Religion , that has no tye at all upon him that loosens all other tyes contrary to the pride and interest of the Romish Church . And though our Answerer has to a miracle confest , that there is such a Doctrine in the Church of Rome , as dispencing with , and absolving Papists from all Oaths to Hereticks ; yet says he , 't is a Doctrine never universally received , aud that even they that do believe it , do not preach it to all ; and therefore these , with him , are poor shifts and evasions . Why should we fear it should be made use of against us ? for says he , that Prince that would lose all his Honourable preferments rather than tell a lye against his conscience , ought certainly , to be believed when he shall make so solemn a protestation as his Coronation Oath . But that Oath we have by sad experience found to be such a Juglers knot , and has so often plaid fast and loose , that if he were a Mahumetan , and should swear by Alha , we should have much more reason to believe him as Turk or Infidel , than as a Roman Catholick ; for we know the bands of Nature , Morality , and Honour , have been sacred to Heathens , but never to Papists . And besides , I must tell my smart Gentleman , Tho' we very well know that Dispensations are frequent things from Rome , yet it would have been no less than a mortal sin , and never to have been forgiven , to have presumed in that case to have told a lye without the Popes permission ; tho' truly as some Papists have declared , his Holiness was to blame not to dispense both with the Dukes receiving the Sacrament in the Protestant Church , and their taking the Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance for some time , since they would have been no less sons of his Church , nor no less true to his power , and considering he might so easily have done it , which would have prevented all their misfortunes , and for ever have secured their Interests . And next says our Scribler , What if the King of France , contrary to his Oath upon the Sacrament , has invaded Flanders , he is but one president ; and must all Princes of that Religion violate their Oaths because he has done so ? But for Q. Mary of Eng. violation of her Oaths , Covenants , and her Honor , with all her barbarous recorded Cruelties , let her pass , 't is not at all pertinent to his purpose to take the least notice of her . Besides , for his Coronation Oath , 't is an Oath upon compulsion ; and he has greater and more ambitious motives to make him take it , tho' against his conscience , than the French King had to take his Oath upon the Sacrament , and break it ; for that was only a little to enlarge his Empire : but this of our Popish Successors is to mount him on a Throne . And since it is a like ambitious cause in both , we very well know , that ambitio multus mortales falsos fieri coegit . He tells us now his first design was only to be of the defensive part . But if comparisons of these times with those of the late Rebellion ; if railing at , and accusing three Parliaments of a horrid Plot , a Plot to ruin Monarchy , ferment us into Civil Wars , and make us cut our own throats , be more than defensive , the second page of his Pamphlet must tell him to his face he lies . But now he is at the same thing again ; he must say something . Well tho' he denies the possibility of introducing Popery , because a great many as good Protestants as the Characterizer do both say so , and believe it too ; yet certainly he thinks the Party very powerful , to protect his notorious impudence against the King , the Parliament , and all the Judiciary power of the Nation , who has with great wisdom , and by strong proofs , found out a most Hellish and Dangerous Plot ; a Plot against the Life of his Sacred Majesty , the Protestant Religion and Government ; and with reason and thankfulness have acknowledged 't was only the especial Providence of God that has delivered us . But he says , 't is not only impossible to introduce Popery , but 't is impossible for the Papists themselves to believe it could be done ; that is to say , there has been no Plot on that side . But what has he made all the Three Estates of England to be , but a pack of Rascals and Villains , to pretend a Plot where there was none ; and to set their hands to the confirmation of such a Falshood , and to the delusion of the undiscerning multitude ? Nay , he has a further charge against that great and honourable Council of Parliament , who ( tho' a Papist King cannot influence the Judiciary Officers of his own creation ) have already depraved the Bench , and obstructed Justice , as in the last line of his 8 th page , where he says , Iustice has been denied , where it might give distast to the Representatives of the Nation . Well , but after much sensless quibling upon the Characterizer's being a Papist , because he was of their minds so far as to believe their design of establishing Popery in England might have took effect ; he at last has not only granted the possibility of their belief , but the introducing of Popery feasible . Yet ( says he ) does it follow , that because they thought so then , that they think so still ? sure they have little reason to believe that that design which was in so hopeful a forwardness as never since Queen Maryes days could be boasted of , carried on with all the art and contrivance , all the secresie and cunning of a diligent and active party , favoured by several the greatest persons in the kingdom , and those most eminent for their Riches and Interest to support the Cause , and the universal security of the Nation conspiring with all these , and after all this brought to nought ; should ever at all , or at least in this age , be effected , when all their measures are broken , and all their wicked contrivances laid open , and the whole scene of that Religious Villany displayed to publick view ; when the whole Nation is still awake with continual fears , and fresh Alarms against them . Yes , Mr. Scribler , 't was and might still be possible , if the people of England be yet more sensless than in that security you spoke of , and does yet leave them the hopes of a pernicious Popish King ; there will be then no need of Plots , his Power will undoubtedly perform much more than all their Hell-born stratagems cou'd ere design . It was indeed an over-hasty Roman zeal to mount him on the Throne before his time ; they were impatient of delays thought long till they arrived at their dear promised Land , and wou'd have took delight to have waded through that Sea of blood that wou'd have brought them thither ; 't was that and Providence that it seemed had not designed we all should perish in our dreams , made them so unhappy to themselves , and fortunate to us . Their fear ▪ that death might interpose betwixt them and all their hopes , and snatch their darling Prince before his Brother's or their work was done ; their dread of this , and eager thirst of blood , made them plot on for what they might have had without , and ruin all . But to prove 't is possible , in case of a Popish King , 't is in the power of any English Prince to remit the punishments due to that party when convicted , as has been experienced ; and I think none will doubt but a Popish King , and an obedient Son of Holy Mother Church , will extend his Negotiation a little further for them than an Heretick , so far no doubt as to encourage his own Religion , and suppress its enemies , and give them leave to revenge their long sufferings . Well , admit this King , and more certainly the impowering his party to all they can desire , what will the cackling of all our Protestant Geese do then , to the preserving our Capitol ? even as much good as our Scriblers Vindication has done his Master . Next , if it were possible that we shall ever suffer a Papist King in England , and put the reins of Government into his hands , whose Arbitrary Principles we so abhor ; when we do this , we shall no doubt not only be content to let him have a standing Army , but shall every man voluntarily contribute to the setting up and maintaining that Army we know before-hand is design'd to enslave us , or cut our throats . But I will hope , and believe it impossible for the whole Nation to be mad at once ; and on that presumption agree with my Pamphleteer in that point , That we shall have no standing Army , no Arbitrary Government ; and indeed I fancy the Jesuits have just cause to say now , Perditur haec inter miseros Lux. Well but he says again , It were folly for a Papist King to attempt the bringing in of Popery : for , says he , young as the Reformation was in Queen Maryes days , it might indeed with some ease have been pluckt up , ere it had taken root ; the Papist in those days equal , at least , if not exceeding the Protestants , all longing for the restoration of their Religion : but now when this Idolatrous Superstition has been so long worn off the minds of the people , and the Reformation so deeply and so strongly rooted , the Roman Church so detested both for the dangerous Innovations of its Doctrine , and the Idolatry of its Ceremonies ; and so odious in the eyes of the people for its pernicious principles exprest in the Villanous practises of its professors , in Massacres , and Plots all detected . All this indeed is very true ; and I confess he is so far much in the right . But soft and fair ! how came this to pass ? how has the Papists disobliged you , now that you are so briskly treating of their pernicious Principles , the dangerous Innovations of their Doctrines , Idolatry of their Ceremonies , and their Villanous practices in Plots and Massacres ? How came the wind to be thus turn'd now ? Or has my good friend forgot himself since he writ the second page of his wise Answer , where he was showing that the principles of a Papist and a Protestant so little differ ; 't is contrary to reason or common sense a Papist should be less an honest man for them , as only differing in a few disputable matters of faith , and not very material ceremonies of divine worship . And is it possible that he who has so exclaimed against contradictory discourse and arguing , and has so much endeavoured to find it out where it never was , by leaving out , or adding words of his own , should at last be found so grosly guilty of the same fault ? Well , but perhaps he may as justly as his Master say the case was alter'd , so he could not help it ; for indeed his first business was to perswade us to believe what a happy condition we should be in under the reign of so virtuous and heroick a Popish King , and to take off our dreadful apprehensions of his Religion ; therefore he tells us the small difference betwixt us and them , as only a few disputable matters of faith , &c. but fearing that work with all his painful arguments may not be perfectly finisht , therefore he now says we have no reason to think it can do us any harm , because it can never be establisht in England ; for the dangerous Innovations of its Doctrines , and the Idolatry of its Ceremonies , and villanous practises of its professors in Plots and Massacres , have rendred it so odious . But this contradiction was a little unlucky in this place , just where he is accusing the false Satyr of blowing hot and cold with the same breath ; but in that we may suppose he did forget himself , which may be forgiven him too , since by his handling both these Arguments with so much convincing art and cunning , he has proved good Wits are incident to ill memories . But now he says , 'T is plain , tho' the Triple Mitre be struck at , the three Crowns is their aim ; nor would they be so violent against Popery , which they have no reason to fear , but that they know 't is the charm to bring in the people to the ruine of Monarchy ; knowing the multitude to be not unlike Beasts or Cattel in a Ship , which in any storm that is raised , if they are made apprehensive of the Vessels sinking on the one side , run immediately with such a violent panick fear to the other , that they overset the Ship , and quite overwhelm themselves and it in ruin . And all this lyes again at the Parliaments door , because they have endeavoured for the good of the Kingdom to disinherit a Popish Successor , and have not supplied the King with moneys , tho' at the same time they have declared , if his Majesty will be graciously pleased to join with them , and bar all the pretence of Papists to this English Diadem , secure their fears by passing that one Bill against that Prince , whose succession is the terror and distraction of this Nation ; an Act in which consists the peace , the safety , and the glory of three Kingdoms ; let him but be removed from all pretensions to this Crown , which justly may be done by King and Parliament , and they will open their purses so wide to Him , give Him that Mass of Wealth , as will make Him both fear'd abroad , and beloved at home . So vast a Treasure will they make Him , as none of all His Royal Ancestors , nor He Himself was ever Master of . But should they have done 't without , it would have betrayed the Nation , ruin'd their own Priviledges , and left all Grievances as unredressable as unredrest , and then they might thank themselves for what would follow . And next our Scribler thinks it very unreasonable that the Prince alone should not have the benefit of Liberty of Conscience , which every subject in his dominions takes very ill to have denied to himself . Truly 't is hard indeed ; but the circumstances of this Nation considered , not at all to be wondred at : for I believe all men of sense , as well as Sir Poll , as he calls him , will take it for granted , that if this Popish Heir comes to the Crown , he will by the dictates of that Religion , in spight of Vows and Covenants , promote the Romish Interest with all the severity , injustice , and tyranny , that most religious Cruelty can invent . But whether or no he will condescend to make the least excuse for it , as the Characterizer has supposed he might , I cannot tell ; but our Answerer that laughs at the supposition , 't is probable knows more of his mind , than to think he will be guilty of so much curtesy , as to make us an excuse for any thing he does against us . If ( says a Critick in the Character ) these be the dangers of a Popish King , why have we not such strong , such potent Laws made before this Popish Heir comes to the Crown , that it shall be impossible for him ever to set up Popery , tho' he shou'd never so much endeavour it ? The Character answers , To endeavour to do it by Law , even with those Laws we have already against it , is impossible . But it is likewise as impossible for any man of sence to believe , that he being a Papist , and Vassal to the Pope , either will or can put those Laws in execution . But then a little after 't is confest he may be totally restrain'd from all power of introducing Popery by the force of such Laws as may be made to tye up his hands ; and put the execution of those Laws into the hands of the People , and consequently those Laws must be such as must ruin his prerogative . Well , but granting thus much , says our Answerer , what you infer from this is doubly ridiculous ; first , that no Monarch would thus intail such an effeminacy on a Crown as shall render the Imperial Majesty of England but a pageant , a meer puppet upon a wire . And what can you make more of a King that has no power , no not so much as the meanest subject in his Dominions can have after these Laws are made to tye up his hands ? he cannot put an Officer in any place throughout his Kingdoms , for fear he should be a Papist , nor take one servant of that perswasion into his Court , they being all liable then to the conviction and persecution of the people ; and when it is so far from him to defend them , that 't is not in his power to favour , in any case , the dearest of his own party : for may not his subjects , or rather his Masters , inspect into his actions , and call him to account for every thing they think a misdemeanor , having the Law in their own hands ? and when his prerogative is thus ruined , is not this Prince more like a Pageant born upon mens shoulders , than a King ? which when they are weary of , they may throw him down , and dash him all to pieces . But these Laws , says he , that bind up a King so strictly , suppose him to be a Popish King , such only to be restrained , this is not therefore an intailed effeminacy , but a short eclipsing of the full splendor of a Crown , which in the next Protestant Successor is to shine forth with greater luster . But how will you assure us that the people , after they have been once possest of such a glorious Power , will ever give it back again ? Indeed I doubt it : for we have not seen the English men so willing to part with any of their Magna Charta , or the least of their Priviledges : No , I am rather afraid it will rather give them the itch of taking the Name as well as Power upon them ; and I believe 't is the only expedient to subvert this glorious Monarchy into a Commonwealth . But to give us hopes that we may have a very good and merciful Popish King , that will neither remember Petitions , Protestings , nor Association Votes , he refers us to the consideration of his Royal Brothers Clemency , which indeed has been so great , that ingratitude it self cannot but acknowledg it ; but all this while he was a Protestant Prince , and therefore that can be no Argument to make us think a Papist King will be as gracious : for were his Nature an Original of Mercy , he could not be the man he would be , without the forfeiture both of his Conscience , Religion , and his Kingdoms : for if an Emperor or a King ( says Parsons ) shows any favour to an Heretick , for that he loseth his Kingdom , Philopat . p. 109. Becanus , another of their Authors , says , If that Kings and Princes are negligent in rooting out of Hereticks , they are to be excommunicated and deposed by the Pope , Controv. Anglican . p. 131. 132. And when the Papists tell us how many Virtues he is Master of , and amongst the rest how noble and how strong his friendship is , then granting the truth of this , his opposers has more reason to dread his Power : for 't is a known Maxim , The greatest and truest friend , the most implacable and revengeful Enemy . But for those Acts of Parliament which we find ordering and disposing of the Succession , they make ( says he ) very little for the purpose for which they were produced . Yes , they prove that the Succession has been given by Act of Parliament , where the King and the Parliament thought fit ; and upon those reasons they afterwards thought more weighty , the Gift has been recalled , and they have placed a Right elsewhere ; and who shall dare to say these Acts , or any made by King and Parliament , are unjust ? Indeed the King without his People , or the People without their King , cannot alter the Succession , but with a joynt consent : Those Acts of Parliament declare it has and may be done again ; and certainly there never was a Cause that did require the changing of the Succession half so much as we have now . But he is drawn to an end ; and I thought nothing could have been more audacious than his Answer is throughout , in notorious Accusations of all our Great and Honourable Parliaments ; but the dedicating his Libel to those very men with the same hand he writ it of them , is a boldness that certainly has no president , but is an Original of Impudence . A REPLY TO Roger L' Estranges PAMPHLET . WELL , but now for our Second Masquerade , who Begins just like his Brother , and carries on the Argument of Forty one throughout every Paragraph of his whole Pamphlet , to answer all that can be said against Popery with that . He tells us : The Character of a Popish Successor were an excellent piece in the kind , if it had not too much Sublimate in it . The truth of it is , says he , the Author has made the figure of his Successor too frightful , and too enormous ; and then he finishes his Master-piece with a paradox , by the supposal of a most excellent Prince , and yet making him the greater Devil for his Virtues . I cannot suppose it any Paradox , to say the intoxication of Romish Principles , and that Religious frenzy in the brains of Majesty , will pervert all his Natural Virtues , and make him imagine he does his God and his people good service , and think he improves his Talent sevenfold , when he puts the severest Roman Laws in force against us , which is no less than the forfeiture of our Estates , next the loss of our Liberties , and our Lives in a very short time after . Nor are we to suffer any death more merciful than burning alive , which is the Popes own Law , in these words , Decerminus ut viva in conspectu hominum Comberatum ( De Hereticis . 7 Decretat . sect . in consutilem ) . Nay , his obeying his Superior Ecclesiastick Power in executing these Laws , shall be so far from making him or any other Papist else , think him the greater Devil , as he says , that on the other side the Pope , and all of that Church , will tell him he has improved all his Virtues to that height , that he deserves to be a Saint ; has merited that Heaven which they will give him . But before I go any further , says he , let me recommend to the Reader one Remark , as a thing worthy his attention , That he cuts all the way upon the Successor , as presupposing him to be a Papist , and consequently dangerous and insufferable by reason of that perswasion ; and very magisterially gives his own bare word for the dangers of that perswasion : why does he not rather tell us in particular terms , These and these are the principles , and then make his inference from those principles , to the dangers that attend them . I thought both the Principles of the Roman Church , and the dangers that attend them , had been too well experienced in England , as well as other places , not to be known to the most Vulgar person in it : for what was Q. Maries Tyranny , but an impulse of Conscience derived from those Popish Principles that told her that all Hereticks are all notorious Traytors , Traytors against God himself , and therefore guilty of the highest High Treason , which they call Crimen Laesae Majestatis Divina , and therefore they deserve that worse penalties should be inflicted for that , than other High Treason ? And it is besides enacted by a General Decree , That whatsoever King , Bishop , or Nobleman , shall believe that the Decrees of the Roman Bishops may be , or shall suffer them to be violated in any thing , be accursed , and shall remain for ever guilty before God , as a betrayer of the Catholick Faith , Caus. 25. 91. cap. 11. and therefore considering all this , we cannot with reason think that such barbarous Cruelty could be the delight of naturally soft and tender hearted woman , or that Majesty could be so perjured , so ungrateful , and so dishonourable for little or no advantage ; but she was a servant of the Church and Pope , and durst not incur his curse , that was to open her the Gates of Paradice ; and 't is impossible for any Papist to have such a Soveraign Power as hers , and not to be the same Tyrant that she was . Now in Answer to a paragraph which his Brother , the wiser of the two , skipt over , concerning the barbarity of the known Doctrine of the Roman Church , that pronounces damnation to all that differ from it in any one matter of faith , and to justifie his Masters and his Religion from such a terrible Accusation , as tearing up his Fathers Sacred Monument , branding his blessed memory with the name of Heretick ; and the compleating the horrid Anathema , of most impiously execrating the very Majesty that gave him being . He says the Characterizer lays down a false supposition , and then raises out of it a most uncharitahle consequence ; for the very position , That there is no salvation out of that Church , is yet qualified with an exception , In case of an invinsible perswasion . I think that case was plain in that Royal Martyr , who sealed the invinsible perswasion of the Protestant Faith with his blood . And next he says , If this be so lewd a principle in one Religion , why is it not so in another ? Which being admitted , involves every individual member of the Church of Rome in the same condemnation . So that he says , in asserting this Doctrine the Characterizer himself damns all the Papists , as well as he makes them damn all the Protestants . Now as I never thought the Protestants in a more likely state of damnation for the Papists saying or believing so ; so I always thought it was the proof of Crimes , and not the accusation ; that must condemn all men before so just a Judg as God Almighty ; and there are such proofs of that Hellish Doctrine , that it bears witness against it self : for 't is not the Protestants knowing and judging their principles , but their believing and following them , damns the Papists ; but he is a Protestant that holds the Romish Tenents as good as those of the Church of England , and is of whether for a peny : so that 't is possible he may believe a man deserves to be hanged as much for being accused of burning a House , or killing a man , and think him as guilty , as if he were taken in the fact : nay , with him a Protestant shall as justly deserve to be damn'd for saying this is a Popish Tenent which they themselves declare to be so , as those Papists that believe it ; and we must have a special care of saying they do any thing ill , lest we contribute more to their damning than they themselves . And now let us see what this pretended Protestant Champion Mr. Le Strange says to an Oath of a Roman Catholick Prince . Take that for granted once , that there is no trusting to their Oaths , and you cut all the ligaments of Society and Commerce ; there is an end of all Treaties and Alliunces , amicable and mutual Offices betwixt Christian Princes and States ; nay ( says he ) 〈◊〉 but that Maxim , and you turn all Europe into a Shambles , and put Christendom into a state of War ; for where there is no trust , there is no security . Well I allow all this , that these Politick Reasons of State may oblige Papist Princes to keep their Oaths with Foreign Princes , nay with Heathens , when they shall break them with their own subjects , to usurp an Arbitrary Power in their own Kingdoms , and to establish their own Religion amongst their own people , where they can never be called to an account . And as the Character says , He has Religion to drive the Royal Jehu on ; Religion that from the beginning of the world , through all ages , has set all Nations in a flame , yet never confessed it self in the wrong . Mr. Le Strange says these are strange words to come from the mouth of a pretender to scruples , and a Protestant Advocate ; his quarrel is not now so much to a Popish as a Religious Successor . If he had said only the pretext of Religion , he might have appealed to the clamours of his Brethren , or his own papers . Hold there , honest Mr. Towzer ▪ follow not the scent so close ; 't is his Religion will drive the Royal Iehu on to our destruction ; and I am sure blind zeal as well as pretext , has at some time or another set almost all Nations in a flame . He has told us , 'T was the pretended fear of Popery that brought a pious and a Protestant Prince to the block . And tho' we all know this to be a sad truth ; yet that can be no Argument to us now , who have the demonstration of evident Plots , and an Heir , an apparent Roman Catholick to bring in Popery , and to establish Tyranny , if it shall ever be in his power ; when that was but a pretence against his Royal Father , which they made use of , like those Rogues that went and pretended a Commission to search for Priests and Iesuits in Hatton-Garden , and under that colour robbed a House ; and because they were Villains , and had none , must there be no further search made after those Traytors . Must the Authority of all Constables be denied in that case , because they came with a villanous cheat ? And must there be no Plot , no danger in a Popish Successor , nor no just fear of Popery now , because for the late Rebellion they had only that pretence ? But his design is to divert our eyes from approaching Tyranny , by bidding us look another way . And tho' I am no Papist in Masquerade , yet I must say this for that party he calls so , notwithstanding all the Crimes he alledges against them , which indeed tho' never so much deluded into , or set on by the Papists , will bear no excuse ; yet there is but that one president of horror against that party ; and we have no reason to suspect they would be at the same game again , for being against a Popish Successor's coming to the Crown ; a Cause so much concerns the Nation . To prove that Government was purely Divine , he tells us , It needs no other support than the authority of the Holy Scriptures , By me Kings reign , &c. That which we call Kingly Government , he says was at first Paternal , and after that Patriarchal ; but to prove still that Kings were made for the people by the consent of God himself upon the request of the children of Israel , the Chain of Kingly Succession has been broken , and the same Divine Right invested in another , as we may see in 1 Sam. 8. 1. where Samuels sons , as Judges of Israel , no doubt had as great a right of Kingly power , as either Paternal or Patriarchal Government ; but they not walking in the ways of their Father ( c. 8. v. 3. ) God Almighty to satisfie his troubled complaining people , did grant the dispossessing these men of their lawful Birthrights , and command the crowning of Saul , 1 Sam. 8 22. a man so remote from any pretence to that power , that he was of another Tribe ; and after Saul , David was anointed King , tho' Saul had many Sons living at the same time ; yet who dares to say , that Saul's or David's was an Usurpation , or an unjust Power ? Now we see by this , that the succession of Kingly Government has not been so sacred , but upon some occasions it has been changed by Divine as well as lawful Authority ; and from his own Text of Scripture , I have made the man ; the earth , and the beast that are upon the ground , and by my outstretched arm have given it to whom it seemed meet into me , Jer. 27. 5. there is as much a Divine Right for the unmolested injoyment of five shillings per Annum by a subject , as for the inheritance of three Kingdoms . And for the Expedient offer'd at Oxford in Parliament , in lieu of the Exclusive Bill , where 't is proposed that his Children shall wear his Crown ; shows plainly 't is not malice against his person , nor Forty one , they aim at ; but the preservation of peace and safety in these Three Kingdoms . And we have great reason to thank God , and pray for a blessing on those men that struggle most against a Religion which from the effects of its Bloody Principles we can produce so many Records of Tyranny and Persecution . I have been told , That a Reply to the first Pamphlet would have sufficiently Answer'd both that , and the Papist in Masquerade ; there being so little difference in the substance of their Arguments : However I think I have particularly answered every material part of that , and Mr. Le Strange's too . FINIS . 
A54794	----	Speculum crape-gownorum, or, An old looking-glass for the young academicks, new foyl'd with reflections on some of the late high-flown sermons : to which is added, An essay towards a sermon of the newest fashion / by a guide to the inferiour clergy. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1682 Approx. 65 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 19 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54794 Wing P2112 ESTC R20961 12610815 ocm 12610815 64370 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54794) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64370) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 772:12) Speculum crape-gownorum, or, An old looking-glass for the young academicks, new foyl'd with reflections on some of the late high-flown sermons : to which is added, An essay towards a sermon of the newest fashion / by a guide to the inferiour clergy. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. Defoe, Daniel, 1661?-1731. The second edition corrected and enlarged. [2], 34 p. Printed for E. Rydal, London : 1682. Wrongly ascribed to Daniel Defoe. An attack on the Tory clergy. Advertisement: p. 34. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Clergy -- England. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Speculum Crape-Gownorum : OR , AN OLD Looking-Glass FOR THE Young Academicks , new Foyl'd : WITH REFLECTIONS On some of the late HIGH-FLOWN SERMONS ▪ To which is added , An ESSAY towards a SERMON of the Newest Fashion . By a Guide to the Inferiour Clergy . The Second Edition Corrected and Enlarged . — Ridentem dicere Verum Quis Vetat ? — LONDON , Printed for E. Rydal . 1682. WE find there are a so●t of people very much troubled to behold their deformities in this Looking-Glass , and have therefore hired that Musty-brain'd Fool Heraclitus , to bestow some of his Carman like● Thames-street Raillery upon it . But in re●ard that all unbyas●ed Readers , cannot but perceive that the thing was never intended to be otherwise than what it is , a mixture of old and new ; since the mixture of ●olly and extravagance in the Young Clergy is still the ●ame ; therefore that Iack-Pudding to the Bear-Garden , Heraclitus , might have spared his bank-side yest and froth till he had met with something● that he might have done more prejudice to ▪ than he can do to this Looking-Glass , a Porter like-Droll , whose . — ●riste Caput fastidia vespillonum Et miseri meruit tedia Carnificis . 'T IS a mistake — They that should Guide and Conduct the Conversation of others , run in shoals to learn Loyalty from the heavenly Discourses of Roger L'Estrange ; and happy is he that can nearest approach to his directions in thei● Pulpit Harangues . There is no question to be made , but that all who understand the excellency and perfection of Church● Discipline , must confess the Church of England , under its present Constitution , to be the most Orthodox , the most pure , without the Phylacteries of Hypocritical Ceremonies , and the closest to primitive Institution of any Religion in the World. And this is further to be said for the Protestant English Clergy , that you rarely hear of any that fall under those publick Scandals and Reproaches , for which the Romish Clergy , from the highest to the lowell , are loudly and so generally taxed , so tha● they sin more out of Vanity than Wickedness . But the Nation is so overstocked with Crape Gowns , that 't is impossible but that in such a number there must be failings among them , subject to great Remark and Observation : An ill Omen of sick Divinity when it comes to be mantled in the shrouds appropriated for the dead . Now these men in Crape , as they are generally young , so they are generally very highly conceited . A character which they will much more advance , if they refuse to receive the Admonishments of others , as they undertake to be the Instructers of others themselves . And therefore they will do well kindly to accept of this Mirror here presented them , new foyl'd and furbish'd up , to be placed in their Studies , and look'd in every morning , by which means they will be able to find the reason why some of their Churches are so empty , others so numerously thronged , and by reforming their own contemplated blemishes , gain an esteem , both of their persons and their Doctrine , more operative upon the good Opinions of the People . No P●agiary Looking-glass , as that Coxcomb Heraclitus has with a debauch'd , and ridiculous mummery intimated to the World. 'T is most certain then , that there is something which does lessen the value of many of our Clergy , and render them less serviceable to the Church , than might be reasonably hoped for : And this may be referred to two very plain things , the Ignorance of some , and the Poverty of others . This proceeds in part from the old fashioned Methods and Discipline of Schooling itself : by vertue of which Lads are kept till Sixteen on Seventeen Years of Age ▪ in a pure slavery to a few Latine and Greek words , tormented with a tedious story how Phaeton brake his Neck , or how many Nuts and Apples Tityrus had for his Supper ; and instead of being ●nticed and charmed into a Love of Learning , are well lashed into an abhorrency of their Studies . Add to this the inconsiderate sending of all sorts of Lads to the Universities , let their par●s be never so low and mean , the Instructions they have been ●u●ored withal never so Pedantick and contemptible , and the Purses of their friends never so bare and● short to maintain them there , if they have but the commendation of some lamentable Soul , or pitiful const●uing● Pedant , it passes for a most undoubted Approbation of the Striplings Learning , and that they will prove persons very eminent in the Church : as much as to say , if a Lad ▪ though otherwise a Jo●thead , have but so much memory as to sing over to a lamentable Tune Three or Four Scanzas of Lilly's Poetry ; if he be quick and ready to tell what 's latine for all the Implements in his Fathers Shop , or his Mothers Kitchen , if he can but tell a Sponde from a Dactyl ; lastly , if he can give ready answers to the usual Catechism , of What is his n●me ? Where went he to School ; What Books he has learn'd ? I profess a Notable Wit , cries the Pedagogue : a hopeful Youth , 't is a Thousand pities but he should be a Scholar ; he 'l prove a brave Clergy man , and an excellent Preacher I warrant ye . Then away with him presently to the University , where he learns a little Logick , and a little Ethicks , and to speak Truth and shame the Devil , a very little of every thing else , and then the next time you meet him , whip ! he 's got into the Pulpit . Well , when they have him at the Universitie , what do they do with him there ? There , if he be of the inferior sort , that he may not over-heat his Brains with Study , he is put to Bed making , Chamber-sweeping , and Water-fetching , which are no question great preservatives against vain Philosophy . However , the Fellow whom he serves , cannot but in pitie , if not for Conscience sake , let him glean some small morsels of his Knowledge , which costs him no more then only the expence of that time while the young ●●zar is pulling off his Masters Stockins , or warming his Nightcap : From thence he learns , Quid est Logica ? Qua sunt Virtutes morales ? and to number the Predicaments in their order . This being done , he takes his leave of the University , and by the first Carrier , upon a Pack , away he goes by ●low Marches into his nown Country , with a common place Book , and a Medulla Theologiae , and then have at a Parsonage ; for the Gentlemen is put to his choice , either of Preaching or Starving . Now what a Champion for Truth can we expect from such a one as this ? What a Raiser of Doctrines , what a Confounder of Heresie will he be ? What an expounder of difficult Tex●s ? What a Resolver of Cases of Conscience ? And what a prudent Shepherd to his whole ●●ock ? Now as there are some who think that Two or Three Years continuance at the University , to be time sufficient to fit a young man for being a great Instrument in the Church , so others we have so moderate , as to believe , that a solemn admission , and the paying Colledge-Duties ( without the trouble of Philosophical Discourses and Disp●tations , and the like ) are virtues that will influence as far as Cumberland , and improve though it be as far as St. Michael's Mou●t . So strangely are some People possessed , with the easiness and the small p●●parations required for the undertaking of the Ministry , that though in other Professions they plainly see what considerable time is spent by young Students , before they have any hopes of at●aining to experience and Knowledge enough to practise ; yet to preach to ord●nary People , and govern a Country ●●ock , is usually deem'd such an easie Task , that every one thinks himself fit for the employment ; and that as for the knack of Preaching , as they call it , it is a perfection so easily attained , that he is esteemed a Dunce indeed , that is not able at a very small warning , to fasten upon any Text of Scripture , and to ●eize and tumble it for an hour , till the Glass be fairly run out , without the Clerks jogging ▪ Though indeed a man had better commit himself to the Instructions and Teaching of an approved Cobler or Tinker , whereby he may be duly respected according to his Art and Condition of Life , than to live only a disesteem'd Emperick in Divinity . To supply this want of Education , many of our Youngsters seek to advance their Reputation by affected words or affected and obscure Notions : Believing either out of simple , fantastick , vain Glory , and a great ambition of being admired at , as if getting into the Pulpit were a kind of Staging , that nothing is more to be by them consider'd ▪ than how much the Sermon procures them the gaping and staring of the People ; or else to gain a respect and Reverence from the Auditors , think it convenient to puzzle them , and carry them as it were into the Clouds : Judging , that should the Ministers words be such as comes to the common Ma●ket , plain and practical , he might pass probably for an honest and well meaning man , but by no●means for that thing which he would be thought to be , a Scholar ▪ Whereas if he give a spring now● and then in high Raptures towards the uppermost Heavens , dashing here and there an All● amazing word if he soars aloft in bombasti●●● Huffs , preaches Points de●p and mystical , and delivers the● as dark and Phantastical ; This is the way to be admired , and accounted a most able and profound ●nstructer . Others there are that spice , and besprinkle their Harangues with Greek , and Latin Sentences . In doing of which , though they seem by their ready naming their Authors , to be very conversant with them , yet it many times proves but the gleaning of a quotation happen'd upon by chance ; and sometimes it appears that they are better acquainted with the Character than the sence , like the Parson that being to Preach before his Diocesan , and aspiring to be more learned then ordinary at such a great time , thunderd forth in the middle of his Sermon out of Museus ▪ an amorous piece of Courtship between Hero and Leander ▪ quite from the matter . A strange piece of ostentation to jargonize before Farmers , and Shepherds , or the Patron of the Parish specially if invested with his Lac'd-coated London Visitants ; as if plain words , useful , and intelligible matter were not as good for an Esquire , or one that is in Commission of the Peace ▪ as for him that holds the Plough , or mends Hedges . Another sort there are ●hat stuff their Sermons with frightful metaphors ; flie to both the Indies , ransack Heaven and Earth ; down to the bottom of the Sea ; romage all the Shops and Ware●houses , spare neither Camp nor City , but they will have them . Nay so injudicious and impudent will they be sometimes , that the Almighty himself is often in danger of being dishonour'd ; but then to make amends for their unhallowed expressions , they screw in an as it were , or as I may so say : or else they come in hobling with their ●ame Submission , or with Reverence be it spoken , as if it were not better to leave out what they foresee will be interpreted for extravagancy , than to utter that , for which their own consciences ●ell them they must be forc'd to lay in an Excuse before●hand . Some there are whose metaphorical Knack is all for the Sea , and then you shall hear of nothing but Star-board and Larr●board ; Stemms , Sterns and Forecastles , and such sort of Salt●water Language . Another supposes himself to be some great General , and he divides his Text into the Right and Left Wing ; then he Rears it , ●lanks it , I●trenches it , S●orms it ; then he musters all again , to see what words we●e lost in the Skirmish ▪ and so falls on again , charges through and through , routs , kills , takes , and then Gentlemen as you were . Others there are that are all for lacing their Discourses with Simili●udes , which are not onely of little force in Argument , but very trifling and childish ; especially if you consider the choiceness of the Authors out of which they are furnish'd . There is the never to be enough commended Lic●sthenes ▪ There is that exquisite and most elaborate Piece , The Second Part of Wits Commonwealth ( mind it I pray , the Second Part , not the First . ) There is besides a Book wholly consisting of Similitudes , ready fitted and apply'd to all Preaching Subjects , for the help of young beginners , which nevertheless they make to hit but very odly sometimes . 'T is reported of a Tree that grows by the River Euphrates , the Great River Euphrates , which brings forth an Apple , to the eye very fair and tempting , but inwardly is fill'd with nothing but tempting and deceitful dust : Even so dust are we , and to dust we shall go . Our Souls gape after thee , O Lord , even as the O●●ter gapes . God has knit the hearts of his People in a holy Conspiracy to besiege Heaven . God has taken off the Bridle of Restraint from the Lips of the People . God was never so tempted to bow the Heavens and come down to rescue his People . Others drop into Obscenity like Him , who was alwaies comparing the sinfulness of Man into Menstruous Clouts . Others fetch their Similitudes from the Skies . The mercy of God in sending his Son into the world ▪ was a signal mercy , it was Zodiacal mercy . I say , it was truly Zodiacal . For Christ keeps within the Tropicks : he never goes out of the Pale of the Church . But yet he is not alwaies at the same distance from a Believer ▪ Sometimes he withdraws himself into the Apogeum of doubt , ●orrow and despair ; but then he comes again into the Perigeum of Ioy , content and assurance : but as for Heathens and Vnbelievers , they are Arctic ●nd Antarctic Reprobates . A true Believer , my Beloved is like a Cat , throw a Cat up , throw her down , she will still light upon her Legs : So let Affl●ctions ●oss a Believer any way , he will still light upon the Legs of Faith. The blots and blurs of our 〈◊〉 must be taken away by the Aqua-fortis of our tears ; a most Chymical expression . Can any man imagine how the People sigh'd and cry'd , when the Parson made this Metaphysical Confession for them ? Omnipotent All , Thou art Onely , because Thou art All , and because thou Onely art . As for us , We are not ; for we are but Mites of Entity , and Crumbs of something . As if the Common People were bound to understand Suarez , and the School Divines . Did not he do well who taught that Christ was a Shop-keeper , a Treasury of all sorts of Wares and Commodities , and thereupon tearing his wide Throat , cry'd ●ut , Good People , what d' ye lack , what d' ye buy ? Will ye have any Balm of Gilead , any Eye salve , any Myrrh , Aloes , or Cassia ? Shall I fit ye with a Robe of Righteousness , or with a white Garmen● ▪ see here , what is 't you want ▪ here 's a choice Armory ▪ Shall I shew you a Helmet of Salvation , a Shield , or Breast plate of Faith ? Or will you please to walk in , and see some precious Stones , a Iasper , a Saphyr , or a Calced●n ; what d' ye buy ? It would be an endless thing to reckon up all the follies that have been Preach'd and Printed of this kind . Yet th●re is one of a Person that pretended to great Eloquence in his time , who advising the People to run to the Lord , told them , they could not run to the Lord , much less go without feet . There are therefore two feet , to run to the Lord : Fai●● , and Prayer . 'T is plain that Faith is a foot , for 2 Cor. 1. By Faith we stand ; and that Prayer is a Spiritual ●eg ▪ appears from Ionah 2. 7. My Prayer came into thy Holy T●mple . Heb. 4. 16. Let us therefore go unto the Throne of 〈◊〉 : there being no coming , and going to the Lord without the Leg of Prayer . The same Person added , now that these feet may be able to bear us thither , we must put on the Hose of Faith. For the Apostle says , Our feet must be shod with the preparation of the Gospel . Was it not elegantly observ'd , That Goodness was the milky way to Jupiter 's Pallace . But that which follows was far more neat and curious , full of fancy , and worthy imitation upon those words of St. Iohn ; These things I write unto you , that ye sin not . The observation was , That it is the purpose of the Scripture to drive men to Heaven , which he made out thus ; The Scriptures contain Doctrines , Precepts , Promises , Threatnings , and Histories . Now take these five Stones , and put them into the scrip of the heart , and throw them with the sling of Faith by the hand of a strong resolution , against the forehead of sin , and we shall see it fall before us like Goliah . Now if these things flow naturally , or that a young Levite can blow 'em out of his Nose , how happy is he that can s●oop in his Pulpit , and make use of his Hankerchief , how easie a thing is it to drill out an hour in tickling the Auditors Ears with Parables . But it they come hard , Heav'ns bless us ! how does that poor man labour to make an Ass of himself ? for Similitudes without Judgment are the most ridiculous things in the world : as for example , the Round Earth cannot fill the Triangular Heart of Man. A most pithy expression to set forth the ambition of Mankind . An Errour to be laught at by the Butchers Boys , who know that the heart is no more triangular than a Town-Top . The next Ornament of modern Preaching is , Chiming of words , as Faith , Hope and Charity , Hope , Faith and Charity . Or thus , like the second Peal-changes at St. Pulchers , Revelation's a Lady , Reason the Handmaid , Revelation's the Esquire , Reason the Handmaid , Revelation's the Sun , Reason the Moon : Then by and by Reason leads , Reason is good , but Revelation much better ; Reason is a Counsellor , Revelation is a Lawgiver ; Reason is the Candle ; Revelation the Snuffer . Not unlike this was the jingling determination between the old Covenant and the new . The old Covenant was of works , the new one of Faith ; the old Covenant was by Moses , the new by Christ ; the old Covenant was before , the new one afterwards . The old was first , the new one was second . All which being undeniable Truths , there was an end of the business . To come now to the method of Preaching , you would think they came into the Pulpit to vent their whimsies and conceits , rather than to Preach sound Doctrine . First , before the division of the Text , there must be a Preface , wherein it is of great consequence to make the Text like something or other , according to the dictates of his ingenious fancy . One simpers upon his Auditory , and now methinks , quo he , My Text , like an ingenious Picture , looks upon all here present ; in which both Nobles and People may behold their sin and danger represented . This was a Text taken out of Hosea ; but what if it had been taken out of any other place ? why still it might have been an ingenious Picture , had the Gentleman so pleas'd . For it was a conceit calculated for the meridian of any Text. And truly in my opinion so were all these that follow . Says one , I might compare my Text to the Mountains of Bether , where the Lord disports himself as a young Hart , or a pleasant Roe among the Spices . And there was no question but he did so ; for 't is to be suppos'd there was no body so unmannerly as to hinder him . Saies another , My Text is like the Rod of Moses , to divide the waves of sorrow ; or like the Mantle of Elijah , to restrain the swelling floods of Grief . The first man's Text for my mony ; what say you ? I say this man's — no , you are out — the first man's allusion runs higher . You shall have another climb up to his Text , as thus ; As Solomon went up six steps to the Throne of Ivory ▪ so must I as●end six degrees to come to the high meaning of my Text. Cries another , as Deborah arose ▪ and went with Barak to Kadesh ; so if you will go with me and call in at the third verse of the Chapter I will shew you the meaning of my Text. I assure ye , very pretty conceits , both ; it would gravel a man which to choose . There are besides these several other sorts of Texts ; and truly 't is well there are , for store is no sore . One like an Orchard of Pome-Granates . Another like St. Matthew sitting at the receit of Custom ; a third like the Dove that Noah sent out of his Ark. There have been several Texts like Rachel and Leah ▪ there is one Genesis more wonderful , like a pair of Compasses stradling ; and another much more wonderful then that , Like a Man going to Iericho . The Text being thus chosen , and ascertain'd what it is like , must in the next place be divided , and by and by you shall see an Orchard of Pome-Granates so strangely transinogrify'd , that you would never think it the same thing , and a man going to Iericho so mangled and minc'd that 't would grieve ye to see 't . Nevertheless you must know there is a great difference in the nature of Texts , for some naturally fall asunder , some drip asunder , some dr●p asunder ▪ and some melt . There are some Texts that untwist ; and in others the words are so willing to be parted , that they divide themselves . On the other side sometimes they meet with a sort of Texts , so like Logwood , that they are forced to divide 'em six or seven times before they can make 'em split to their minds . But then , O then , there 's the delight of their Souls , when the sentence ends with a jingling Rhyme , and crys clink i' the close ; as accusatio vera comminatio severa : D●i Amor , Diaboli clamor ; miraculum in modo , miraculum in ●●do . These were Ticklers : But commend me to him that took these words for his Text. Mat. 12. 43. 44. 45. When the unclean Spirit is gone out of a man , be walketh thorow dry places , seeking rest and finding none ; Then he saith , I will return , &c. In which words wonderful things were found out almost past imagination , first there was a Captain and a Castle . Then there was an Ingress , an Egress , a Regress , and Reingre●s ; all these things followed of consequence , in regard of the Castle . But then there was unroosting , and unresting ; for the Castle was taken . Then there was number and name ; that was in reference to the Garrison . Then their was Manner , & Measure , Trouble , and Tryal ▪ Resolution and Revolution , Assault , and Assassination , Voydness , and Vacuity . Thus you see by the lucky finding out that Captain , and that Castle , what a world of other business fell in course . This 't is to have an exuberant fancy , and to have one Eye i' the Air , and another upon his Text. But more to be admired was he , that out of these eight words , Weep not for me , but for your selves , spun out no less then eight parts . 1. Weep not , 2. But Weep . 3. Weep not , but Weep . 4. Weep for me . 5. For your selves . 6. For me , for your selves . 7. Weep not for me . 8. But for your selves . This Gentleman had a strange Command of his tears , Nay he could weep and not weep , he was Weeping Master General of England . Every Man to his calling : the Souldier to his , Prime your Pan , cock your Match , blow your Cole , Present , &c. The Weeper to his , Weep , weep not , weep not for me , for your selves , weep and not weep ; Who would not go to this Gentlemans grieving School for an hour or so , to hear how prettily these words of command run ? Nor was he to be less respected , who taking his Text out of Gen. 48. 2. And one told Iacob , and said , Behold thy Son Ioseph ●ometh unto thee , presently made it out to the People that his Text was a Spiritual Dyal For said he , Here are in my Text twelve words , which do plainly ▪ represent the twelve Hours ▪ Twelve words and one told Jacob , behold thy Son Ioseph cometh unto thee , Here is farther , behold , which is the Dyal that turns & points at every word in the Text. Behold And , behold one , behold I told , behold Iacob , Again behold , And , behold Said , behold , behold , which is the reason that this word behold is placed in the middle of the twelve words , indifferently pointing at each . Now for the Doctrines , Observations , and Inferences raised from their Texts , they are without all Compare . One takes for his Text , that of Isaiah 41. 14 , 15. Fear not thou worm Jacob , &c. thou shalt thresh the Mountains . Whence he observed that the Worm Jacob was a threshing Worm . A second from the Text Gen. 44. 1. And he commanded the Steward of his house , saying , fill the mens Sacks with Corn , as much as they can carry , plaid this division upon the plain song , That great Sacks and more Sacks , would hold more than few Sacks and little Sacks : For look , said he as they came prepared with Sacks and Beasts , so they were sent back with Corn. The greater and the more Sacks they had prepared , the more Corn they carried away , the lesser and fewer they had , the less Corn they carried away ▪ Let the World judge whether this Gentleman was not resolv'd to speak truth . No less careful of uttering truth was he , that upon Iohn 2. v. 15. And when he had made a Scourge of small Cords , he drave them all out of the Temple , made this Discovery ; 1. That a Scourge might be made in the Church or Temple , And when he had made a Scourge . 2. That it might be made use of , ● he drove them out of the Temple . Upon Matth. 4. 25. And there followed him great multitudes of People from Galilee , he proved another Columbus , thus , I discover , saies he , when Iesus prevails with us , we shall leave our Galilees . 2. I discover also a great Miracle , that the way after Jesus being streight , that such a multitude● should follow him . But never was Hawk more quick ●ighted than he upon Matth. 5. 1. And seeing the multitude , he went up into the mountain ; where he discovered , 1. That Christ went from the Multitude ; 2. That it was safe● taking warning by our Eyes ; for seeing the multitude he went up . 3. That it was not always fit to be upon plains and flats with the Multitude : Then upon the latter part of the words , And when he was set , his D●sciples came unto him ; he discovered , 1st , That Christ was not always in motion . 2dly , That he did not walk upon the Mountain but ●at ; from whence , in the 3d place , he raised this Admonition to the People , That when they were teaching , they should not move too much , for that was to be carried away with every wind of Doctrine : unheard of curiosities ! O these University Wits ! there are no men in the World like ' em . Will ye have a short & witty Discovery ? mind this upon Mat. 6. 27. Which of you by taking thought can add one Cubit to his Stature ? The Discovery was ▪ That whilst the Disciples were taking thought for a Cubit , Christ thought fit to take them down a Cubit lower . How divinely was he inspired , that made the following Discoveries upon Matth. 8. 2. When he came down from the Mountain great Multitudes followed him . 1. That Christ came down , as well as he went up . 2 ▪ That the Multitude did not go hail fellow well met with him . Such a man as this deserved a good Living ; for he spoke nothing but upon solid grounds . But now here 's a discovery deserves to be recorded in History . Matth. 12. 47. Then one said unto him , behold , thy Mother ▪ and thy Brethren stand without ; but he answered and said , who is my Mother , and who are my Brethren ? upon which he discovered , that Jesus was upon Business . Others there are , who being appointed , or chusing to preach upon some point of Divinity , avoid the plain and easie places , tending or relating to that Subject ▪ and fetch it in by Head and Shoulders out of foreign Texts nothing at all to the purpose ; which shews a great Master piece of Learning ; for then the People cry , I could not Imagine what Mr. such a one drove at ; but yet at length how cunningly he brought it in . — He 's a quaint man. Suppose for Example , that a young Gentleman were to preach up Episcopacy , you shall have him baulk all other Texts and take this , Sirs , what shall I do to be saved ? For the Greek word for Sirs , being Lords , therefore they were bishops that were spoken to . Another being to preach up Kingly Government , forsook all other Topicks , and chose that of the Evangelist , Seek first the Kingdom of God. From whence he prov'd that Kingly Government was most pleasing to God ▪ And indeed , but that some men are not so apprehensive as others , the thing is plain ; for the Text does not say the Common-Wealth of God , nor the Aristocracy of God , but the Kingdom of God. But what could be more quaint than this ? Suppose I were to preach against non Residence ; I would scorn the common road●● Why ? What would you do ? Oh! I have it i' my head already , I would chuse that of Matth. 1. 2. Abraham begat Isaac . For ( and I wonder how a man could miss it ) had Abra●am gone a gadding abroad , and not resided with Sarah , he had never done his business , he had never begat Isaac . If there be any who think I enumerate these things out of disaffection , they have as little Charity for me , as they have for themselves , there being nothing more frequent among them , than Envy , Passion , Repining , and supplanting of each other . There is certainly a most profound and awful Reverence to be paid to a true , ●ound , and Orthodox Teacher and Expounder of sacred Writ ; but for every Whiffler in Divinity to arrogate that esteem to himself , meerly for his Habits sake , without intrinsecal worth , is a meer presumption . They should labour by imitation of their betters , to gain that esteem , which would be then their due . But instead of following their Studies , as they ought to do , you shall find some idleing away their time in Coffee Houses , and chattering State Affairs , which nothing belong to them . Others you shall meet handing young brisk Ladies in the street ; a most unseemly ●ight to see long Gowns and Petticoats together ; as if there were not lac'd Cravats and Ruffles enough about the Town for that amorous employment : To say truth , we have too much pratin● in England , especially in great Cities , where the Bells never lie still all the Week long , from Six a Clock in the morning , till Five at night . And all this to feed the Qstentation of our Pulpit-Thrashers . And yet all this while even Preaching itself , is , without all doubt , not to be accounted so essential a part of Divine Worship , as Prayer is . In which assertion I take the greater boldness , knowing that Sermons are only well studied Exhortations , and methodiz'd Instructions , whose chiefest end is but to incite men to the duty of Prayer , or ●each 'em the right use thereof . An Exercise confin'd within the narrow limits only of Industry and sound Learning ; of which great Perfections there are but ●ew of your common Hackny Sermon-makers , that are too too much guilty . Were Sermons therefore less frequent , they would be much more valued : For then would men have time to meditate , and their abortive Irreverences would not drop so often from their Mouths , without Soul or Life , as not having staid their time in the Womb of Meditation . I will appeal● to the reason of any man , whether it be within the Verge of Mortality , for a person to Preach at Six of the Clock in the Morning in Cornhil , by Ten at St. Martins Outwich , and in the Afternoon to be posted out of Town Six or Seven Miles with a Job of Journy work , to please a Benefactor in the Country . Nor is this all , three or four casts of his Office on the Week days , and his hand always open at an hours warning for a Funeral Fee besides ▪ Surely such a one must have a large stock of ready cut and dry●d to set up withal , or must be a great Conner of other mens works , or else it is impossible that such a superabundance should be other than the riff●raff , and quicquid in Buccam venerit of a mercena●y Brain . Neither is this one single Doctors opinion . I find that Reverend and Learned Prelate , Bishop Andrews , confessing his own insufficiency to Preach twice in one day , and giving to his Afternoon Exercises the severe appellation of Prating . Which shall we follow then ? The light of such a Star of the first Magnitude in the Firmament of the Church of England ? Or the Clouded Reflections of meer Divinity Meteors , that run whisking up and down to vent their undigested conceits , as the Wind of their Phantastical Doctrines agitates ' em ? What a strange peice of ridiculous Devotions it is , that half a Score Astrologizing Conjurers cannot meet over a Leg of Mutton● and Colli-●lowers , but they must have a pickl'd Sermon to prepare their Stomachs . A Usurer cannot die , a man perhaps that got the very Reward of his Funeral Oration over the Devils Back , but he must have a Sermon forsooth , in praise of what he never had , his laudable Virtues . But these are accounted helps , or additions , to an ordinary living . And truly if double diligence were a Trade , this double Diligence and carking good Husbandry might be excus'd , to satisfie the clamours o● a Wife for a new Gown , or a fine Petticoat . But it is not for those unjustifiable expences , or to maintain the Pride of Parsons Wives , that there should be a due , and competent maintenance allowed the Clergy , but to preserve them from that contempt that falls upon poverty . For , Nil habet inf●lix paupertas durius in se Quam quod ridiculos homines facit . — 'T is a sad thing to see so many young Officers in Divinity sneaking in several Villages of the Nation with a lamentable exhibition of ten or fifteen pounds p. Annum , and either teaching the meanest of the Parish , or learning themselves to drink Ale , and smoak Tobacco i' the Chimney-corner at old ●ammer such a ones House , while he that enjoys the larger profits of the same Parish , is taking his pleasure in some place of more benefit , and better a dorn'd with pleasing Society . And indeed there is nothing can be thought to have more hinder'd the People from a due estimation of the ●ommon-Prayer or Liturgy of the Church , than the employing so many pit●●ul striplings , and illiterate old mumblers to read those sacred Forms of Prayer : Not does any thing more keep back the dissatisfi'd People of the Nation , from coming to Church till the Service be over , than that it is hurried over by some underling twelve pound a year Disciple , with whose Education they are so well acquainted as to know him scarce able to read the Lessons without conning them over . For though the Office of a Reader be only to read word for word , yet People love he should be a person that understands what he reads . But if such a one ventures into the Pulpit , 't is then a hundred to one but he pra●es all the Congregation asleep ; for 't is a hard matter for the people to believe that such a one can talk any thing to the purpose , that wants ordinary food for his Family , whose best meal all the week is the Tanners Beef and Pudding for his empty Sermon on ●unday ▪ or that his advice and admonitions can come from Heaven , of whom Providence seems to have taken so little care . Were true vertue and right Judgment reigning in the hearts of men , such idle prejudices would vainly be suppos'd , and the Doctrine that proceeded from the most tatter'd habit , would be as acceptable as the sayings that flow'd from he mouth of one clad in Silk . But in regard the world is not so absolutely perfect , it is never to be question'd whether the Alms-Man-Teacher of a Parish can be respected by those to whom he is beholding for his daily Bread. Whether the that cant look out of his Pulpit into the Church but that he spies one or other , upon whom he depends , and for want of mony has not confidence to reprehend his Sex●on , can utter with courage any thing that can be so benefical to his people , as to render them his diligent hearers , and hearty respecters . The Divine Service 't is true is the same , whether read in a Cathedral , or a Thatch'd Church ; whether read by an Archbishop , or the meanest of his Priests . But as the Solemnity of the place has a great influence upon the peoples devotion , so likewise the condition , and quality of the person that reads it , whose circumstances , as to this life are so bad , and low in this world . Nor do they delight to confess their sins , or sing praises to God with him who sighs more for want of mony , and Victuals , than for his trespasses , and offences . Nor indeed can this well otherwise be . For where the Minister is hard pinch'd as to the tolerable conveniences of this life ; the chief of his care must be spent , not in considering what Text to take , what Doctrine to Preach , what Authors to make use of ; but the chief of his though●s must be how to live , and provide for his Family . He is musing when the next comfortable , and seasonable Goose , or the next Basket of bak'd Pears will come to cherish his forlorn Stomach : and how he shall hold out till his small offerings come in . He is pining after the consolations of the next Christning Cakes , and the comforts of the next Marriage , or Funeral . In the midst of these fears , disasters of great consequence attacque him . The uncompassionate Kite surprizes two of his unfortunate Chickens out of the number of three : his only Sow miscarries : His Neighbours Horse breaks his Hedge , and devours the sustenance of his si●gle Cow. To him the los●es of a Spanish Merchant , and far more distracting ; nay we 'll suppose him sometimes forc'd to mount his slow●pac'd Pegasus , between a pair of Dossers , to carry his brace of Geese to Market , for the return of a brown Loaf , and a hard Cheese : Cares which are altogether incompatible with Study . The other are considerations befitting a poor mans thoughts . For a Family cannot be govern'd by Texts and Contexts ▪ not will the Infant that lies crying in the Cradle be satisfied without a little milk , and perhaps a little Sugar too , though there should be some short System of Divinity in the House . But grant that our Diminutive Divine be at somewhat more rest in his mind , and that he have some kind of competency to answer the cravings of Humane Nature ; yet not being able to purchase the necessary helps of good Books , it is impossible he should eve● attain to those accomplishments which are requisite to gain him that esteem which should give him credit in his Preaching ▪ For it is not a small six●peny Concordance , nor a Latin Book of Sentences , no● Caryl upon Pin●da , nor Dod upon the Commandments , not Clarks lives of Famous Men , wherein many things are taken upon trust , that will do the work . Divinity is a copious study ; and there are so many great men that have writ upon the Subject in all its parts , as require the purchase of more Languages than one : so that they who are disenabled from the purchasing part , are no way to be entrusted with the teaching par● . A great pity no doubt , that thus it should be , for there are certainly no doubt , several in this condition , whose better parts and ingenuities are curb'd and depress'd by these Domestick necessities . For , Ha●d facile emergunt , quorum virtutibus obstat Res angusta domi — But such is the eagerness , and ambition that some people have of going in●o Orders , that though the Churches , and Chappels we have , are enough , considering the bigness of the Nation , yet in respect of that infinite number that are in holy Orders , there is a very great want ▪ Now whether it be most convenient to make Ministers for Churches , or Churches for Ministers is the Question . But the Proverb is , talk of any thing but building of Churches . For if we build more Churches , we must make more Land for their endowment : which cannot be done without drying up the Sea , and that 's a very difficult Task . However they will get into Orders ▪ come what will of it , though perhaps they understand neither their message nor their business . For some are hugely in love with the meer Title of a Priest , or Minister ; others fancy tha● a●long Crape Gown and Cassock is a handsome garment , though it be in the Winter , and never paid for . But if they get but a Scarf about their Necks , by vertue of a Chaplainship in some Noble Family , then how big they look in an English Booksellers Shop ? for the Latin ones they ●eldom haunt , as being out of their sphear . From thence they cluster to the Coffee House , there to order the Government , and rail against the Dissenters , men of far more understanding than themselves , and shew an equal composition of discretion , learning , and Charity , of each two drams ; their discretion in medling with those things that nothing concern them ▪ their learning in the management of their Arguments , and their Charity in the continual invectives against they know not who themselves , and of whom they know no more by due proof , but that they are their fellow Christians . 'T was a happy invention for the Crape Gown Men this setting up of Coffe●Houses ; For to drink in Taverns was scandalous , to be seen in an Alehouse more unbeseeming ; but to sit idling away their time in a Coffee●House , like the Disciples of H●ly and Mahomet , till it be time to go to farthing Lantralew with a young Gentlewoman , that 's an employment without the verge of reprehension : Especially if they can be heard to rail loud enough , like the Popes white Boyes , against Heresie , Schism , and Fanaticism . But what 's become of Rome , and the so much exclaim'd against Babylon ? Those are Airy Notions now , Fanaticism and Dissenterism is the mode now , and as they are modish in their Habits , they think it more convenient to be modish in their Sermons . Besides the Papists are a sort of cunning Fellows , they argue shrewdly , they dispute Philosophically and Metaphysically . And there be many knotty points in controversie between them and the Church of England , which cost King Iames , Archbishop Laud , and several others , much pains and labour in those days to re●ute , and of late have put Bp. Gunning , Bp. Barlow , and Dr. Stilling fleet to look to their Hits : And therefore our Crape Gown men think it more convenient to let them alone , than to betray their folly and their ignorance . But for the Fanaticks , they are more easily dealt with : 'T is but going into a Pulpit and calling a man Fanatick , and he 's presently confuted with a jerk ; 't is but calling a Dissenter Schismatick ; 't is but calling Religion Division , and there 's an end of the business . The Observator's learned half Sheets come easily at a Penny a piece ; but Grotiu's Works will cost Four Pounds odd mony , and that will go far in a new Crape Gown , and a narrow brim'd Hat , with a Perriwig to boot . And therefore who would not chuse a lazy Coffee●drinking Life , with the pleasure of good Company , and suffer themselves to be deluded back to the vomit of Popery , though to their own destruction , than undergo the labour of a studious Life , and improving themselves in the soundness of that Doctrine which they outwardly profess ? But let them consider how vainly they contend to suffocate what God has so miraculously detected ; let them consider the inconveniences of being led astray by mercenary Scriblers against the discoveries of Heaven ; let them consider how wonderfully Providence has protected the Church of England , of which they pretend themselves the Sons and Children , against all the various and bloody Machinations of Popery against it , ever since the first dawn of Reformation ; and upon these considerations let them at length give over their cologuing adherence to the Fascinations of Rome , bearing in mind that assertion of sacred Writ , That there is no Enchantment against Jacob , nor Divination against Israel , the lot of Gods Inheritance , and his peculiar care . But then again , how strangely conceited are they , that after a long consideration , serious meditation , and recollection of mind , are so vain as to put their Conumdrums , their Quibbles , and their Quibus's in Print ? I met the other day with the quaintest Raptures and Extasies in a Bathonian Sermon , Preached and Printed by a Golden Minister , that certainly the Wit of Man never invented spr●cer , 'T was a Plot upon himself , to make himself the Chrysostom● of the Age. You shall see how he plays with the Greek , as a Cat plays with a Mouse . H●st thou a Kepha●algia , does thy Head ache ? Hast thou an Opthalmia , are thine Eyes infl●m'd ? Hast thou an Aphonia , is thy Speech taken from the ? Hast thou an Osphyalgia , do thy Loyns chasten thee in the night season ? Mark ▪ my Beloved , that Seraphick Interpretation of the word Osphyalgia . Hast thou a Volvulus Inte●●●●orum , a Miserere me● , and forced to cry out , Oh , my Bowels , my Bowels ! Hast thou a Kakocroia , is thy Body turned black and sallow ? Hast thou a Paralysis , is the use of thy Limbs taken from thee ? This is called playing at Shittlecock with Greek words . What man of sence could have refrained from laughing in the Church , to have heard such a piece of Pulpit Buffon●y . The same Person from Iob. 26. 21. undertakes to prove that the Bill of Exclusion was contrary to Scripture , and that the Parliament were a Company of hot Headed fellows , for reprimanding and making Thompson kneel at their Bar. Now would I fain know what Iob had to do with the Bill of Exclusion , or the Parliaments severity . But Heavens bless us , when some men get into a Pulpit , they are so rampant , so hoytie toytie , they know not where their Tails hang. In the next place commend me to that incomparable and admirable Translation of a piece of Latine , printed by the Ludgate Excommunicator , Nunquam nec Albiani ▪ nec Nigriani , nec Cassiani ▪ inveniri ▪ potuerunt Christiani : that is , Never was true Christian found a Traitor to his Prince . This 't is to have a sharpness and accuteness of Wit beyond the common reach of Mankind . Now lastly , I cannot but admire at that delicate Inscription that ▪ was printed upon the Portigo of a Nuptial Harangue . The Royal Merchant , or a Sermon , by which you are to understand , that the two married couple were to take a Trading Voyage to Matrimony , and that Matrimony is a Trading Voyage . Whether what hath been said will have any operation upon our Crape Gown men ▪ or no , I know not ; But that they may see how ridiculous they are when they stand fretting , and fuming , and heating themselves about State Affairs in their Pulpits , they are desired to read the short Sermon that follows , which if it be not altogether their own words , I am sure is altogether their own sence . The SERMON . RABLAIS , Chap. 32. Vertu nescio quo . The Grandgousier sending to know what the matter was , found that some of his people had taken certain Simnels from the Subjects of Picrochol . MAn of all Creatures is the onely creature that proposes to himself an Aim and an End in what he does . For Man is the onely Creature that Thinks . Yet there be some that say the Beasts do think as well as he . Rorarius for one : Who that Rararius was , I cannot tell : I must confess I never read him , but I have heard say so , and that 's enough . Neither do I believe a word he says : And my great Argument is this ; for that it is impossible that a Beast should have Reason . You 'll say perhaps , What is this to the purpose ? I come not here to extol my own parts , as being the meanest of my Tribe . But the sight of so many Worthy persons as I behold in this Assembly , inspi●es me , methinks , with higher thoughts . Therefore it is that I have led ye out of the way , that I might have the happiness to lead ye into the way : therefore it is that I have carried ye afar off , that I might have the opportunity to take ye all by the hands & lead ye home again to my Text. My Text , that is like a shady gloomy Wood ; where , as I may say , a man cannot see Wood from Trees . Here is in my Text a certain Meaning and profound Sence to be found out , that lies concealed among Bushes and Underwoods . And thus it is a frequent thing among us , after a long hunting to start a Hare in a Wood ; and then we pursue the little Animal with a full Crie . And thus , my beloved , as I have brought ye into a Wood , so I must endeavour to help ye out again . Here is a certain person in a brown Study , pondering , and meditating , and considering with himself ; and at length , after a serious exercise of his Thoughts , he found there was something in the Wind : And therefore he sent to know what was the matter . So then ▪ my beloved , here is the Hoti , and the Dioti . Here is the Hoti , because he found there was something in the Wind : And here is the Dioti , therefore he sent to know what was the matter : Then Grandgousier ▪ sending to know what was the matter , found , &c. Here is then the Person , Grandgousier : Here is the person that sent : Here is the person that sent to know : Here is the person that sent to know what was the matter . Then here is the person that found : Here is the person that found out , the person that found out that some of his Subjects ; that some of his Subjects had taken away the Simnels from Picrochols people . Then here is Grandgousier the King ; a King that sought , a King that sent , a King that found , a King that found out what was the matter : In a word ▪ a King that made a great discovery . He was a King , for he had power : He sent ; he sent and found out ; he did not send by the Penny-post-men of little value , he sent persons of Wisdom and Discretion ; persons that sought ▪ persons that sought and found . Verum enim vero quando quidem dubio procul quoniam ita certe● res se habet , quoth St. Bernard ; and therefore in the management of State-affairs , as it behoves a Prince to have wise and discreet Counsellors about him ; So that Prince who has not , shall never make those Discoveries which otherwise he might . For it is plain from my Text , that a King did , and a King may make a Discovery . But forsooth , we have a sort of people in this Nation that will have the King make no discoveries ; that would have him be altogether in the dark : I have 'em in my eye , and I shall have a touch with 'em presently . Well then , here is a Discovery made by Grandgousier , that his Subjects , that his Subjects had taken away , that they had taken away the Simnels from Picrochol's people : Then Grandgousier , sending to know what the matter was , found that some of his people had taken certain Simnels from Picrochol's people . Leaving therefore the first part of my Text , I shall come to the Discovery , the Discovery made of the Simnels being taken away by Picrochol's people . Of all which in their order . The word Discovery , in the Hebrew Ietour , in the Greek Apocalypsis , in the Latine Detectio , signifies the disclosing of a thing concealed : and indeed we have had of late years strange Discoveries . Discoveries of Popish Plots , Meal●tub Plots , and Presbyterian Plots . As for the two first , I believe nothing of them : For Rome and we are agreed : And why the Pope or the Papists should plot against us , I neither can nor will understand . And besides it is contrary to the Doctrine of Sam 's Coffee-house : But for the Presbyterian Plot , I believe it from my heart : For the Presbyterians , my beloved , are the Subjects of Grandgousier , and so are all the rest of the Dissenters , and Fanaticks . Grandgousier signifies Rebellion in the original : and therefore saith that Famous Origen , Sufficit nobis quod cognoscimus Patrem Ga●agantuae , & abolebitur nomen eju● . Now then Grandgousier's Subjects are discovered ; and so there 's the first thing made out , that is the Discovery . And here I must tell ye , my beloved , that there is a great contention between the Subjects of Grandgousier ▪ and us that are the people of Picrochol , concerning the Succession . Now we have disputed and argued the Case among our selves , and we find the Succession to be as plain as the Sun at noon-day : For David begat Solomon , Solomon begat Rehoboam , and so onward , and still you see they succeeded one another . And though I will not be so severe as to blame every particular Parliament man ; yet this I dare be bold to say , they carried the business higher than they needed to have done : For Loyalty is Loyalty , according to the words of St. Cyprian ; Toyaute taute Foberot●ton Hapantoon tan tan toon toon . Neither can Loyalty be Disloyalty , not Disloyalty be Loyalty . Now as there are signs of Grace , so there are certain ●igns of Loyalty . In the first place , for a man to wear ● Scarlet Twist under his Hat-band , is a great ●ign of Loyalty : For there is a strange Sympathy between the Heart and the Hat. As the Heart moves , so the Hat moves : If the Heart be dutiful and respectful , off goes the Hat. A disloyal Heart , a disloyal Hat : Which we find too true by the Quakers themselves ; who will neither put off their Hats , nor Swear before a Magistrate , Two great marks of Disloyalty . I remember , my beloved , that Pantagr●el dreamt a Dream , and his Dream was this : he dreamt that he was beloved and caressed by a fair ●ady ; but at length , that he was metamorphos'd into a Drum , and the Lady into Madam Madge Howlet . So it is with the Quakers , while the Lady Faction caresses them in their fond Dreams : but the time is coming , and I hope to see it , when they shall be turned into Drums ; that is , be ratled and thumped till they roar again ; and Faction shall be turned into a Female . Buzzard , according to that of the Poet ; Hystero● , tantomen megalopton otera whyon . Again , my beloved , Scarlet is a Royal Colour : The Robes are Scarlet ; and therefore they that wear Scarlet Twists i' their Hats , must of necessity be true blue , as they say . For the Twist signifies Allegiance ; and Scarlet signifies Cordial , as being the colour of the Heart . So put both together , the Twist and the Scarlet , and there 's Cordial Allegeance . The second mark of Loyalty , is to drink the D.'s health , and cry Huzzah — If you stamp upon your Hat at the same time , 't is still a sign of a more transported Loyalty . For by tra●pling upon your Hats , you shew you readiness to throw your Lives and Fortunes at his Feet . But to return to the word Huzzah — It is a word of a most sublime signification — It was invented for the use of the Knights of the Order of St. Dive Bo●●eille , as you may read in Iosephus's Antiquities of the Iews . Some derive it from the Hebrew word Hoz , which signifies Wealth or Riches , to shew that when you drink the D.'s Health , and cry Huzzah , you drink it out of the abundance of your Loyalty . Others derive this Seraphic Huzzah from the Hebrew word Hazah , to snore or be sleepie ; and then it carries with it this signification : That no man ought to snore or sleep when the D.'s Health is drinking ; or if he do , that he ought to be waked i' the Devils Name with a Huzzah . — There is one more sign of Loyalty , and that is when you hear a quaint Notion stream from our lips , or the Fanaticks run down with a powerful Sa sa , and a whipping , quipping jerk , to cry Hum , — hum , — hum , — We love Humming mightily — nay , we 'll give you liberty to cry Huzzah , — i'the Church too , so it be out of a cordinal affection to Humming . Thus you have the Discovery , and the Discovery made . And now I come to the Third part , and that is the Sim●els , or the taking away of the Simnels . Upon the opening of these Words , the Cabinet of my Text discloses unto you three things . First , That the Simnels were taken away . Secondly , The persons that did take them away , viz. The Subjects of Grandgousier . And thirdly , from whom ; from the people of Picrochol . And first of the first , That is , of the taking away of the Simnels . Here it is plain , from the Words of my Text , that there was a wrong and injury done ; the Simnels were taken away . Not willingly , you may be sure ; for else there had been no c●use of complaint ; but by force , by violence , against Law , and against Reason these Simnels were taken away , Violentia extra modum est violentia Carnalis , saith Origen ; the fittest Author in the World to be quoted u●on this Subject . For as he made himself an E●nuch and guelt himself ; so would the Subjects of Grandgousier , the Subjects of Rebellion , geld us of our Simnels , take away our Simnels by ●orce and violence . Now , my beloved , me thinks I hear you asking me what these Simnels are ? These Simnels , my beloved , are the Rights and Priviledges of us Church-men . These are the Simnels which the Subject of Grandgousier , the Fanaticks and Dissenters , men that will not crie Huzzah — nor wear Scarlet Twists in their Hats , would take away from us . There is our Simnel of Bowing at the Altar : There is our Simnel of the Surplice : There is our Simnel of Eccles●astical Jurisdiction , and that has many Plum● in it . The Plums of Commendation : The Plums of Excommunication : The Plums of Endictments , Fining and Imprisonment for Conscience sake . Then there is our choicest Simnel of all , the Simnel of our Livings and Tythes . And lastly , there is our Simnel of Succession : For the Dukes Case is a hard Case , my beloved ; the Scripture tells us so . All these Simnels , my beloved would the Fanaticks , the Subjects of Grandgousier , take from us by force and violence . Now if the King and the Council , and the Lord Mayor , and the Justices of the Peace , will not mind these things , we are to put them in mind of their duty , and their neglect of the Church . And then again , if the State do think the Fanaticks to be ill Members of the Nation , disturbers of the Government , and do prosecute them for that reason , then are we to encourage the State , to bring Texts of Scripture for the State ; then are we to run with the Stream of publick business , to Glose and Flatter like true Politicians , and all this that we may not lose another Simnel of ours , which is the sweet Simnel of Preferment . Were I now to preach before a great Magistrate that had the Power in his hands , I would say , My Lord , you bear not the Sword in vain — The Fanaticks , the Fanaticks , the Subjects of Grandgousier , the Sons of Rebellion , my Lord , would take our Simnels , our Rites and Priviledges from us . Where are all your Penal Statutes , your Fines , and Imprisonments ? Let 'em be fin'd and imprison'd , nay hang'd my Lord. Let 'em be excommunicated . Do you send 'em to us , and we 'll excommunicate 'em , and then we 'll send 'em to you again , and do you send 'em to 〈◊〉 , my Lord. What 's the reason we have not Juries and Common-council-men for our turn ? The Land mourns for the sins of Juries and Common-council-men . And it is your , and other Magistrates duty to look after these things . Now if my Lord should say , Trouble not your heads with these things that nothing concern ye ; Do you endeavour to refute and convince them of their Errours by sound Doctrine and good example of Life : Then would I say , No , my Lord , they will never be convinced by us ; for we have not Wit nor Learning enough to do it , neither can we take so much pains . 'T is easier to talk an hour about State-affairs , and make Satyrs against the Fanaticks , than to preach convincing and sound Doctrine . The Fanaticks therefore must be confuted by Bolts and Shackles , by Fines and Imprisonments , by Excomunications and Exterminations ; And therefore pray , my Lord , let 〈◊〉 be scourg'd out of the Temple ; let 'em be whipp'd out of the Nation ; and let us not lost our Simnels through Os●itancy and Spanish Consideration . And so I come to the last part of my Text , the People of Pi●rochol . Who are they ? The People of Pi●rochol , my beloved , are our selves : Picros in the original signifies bitter , slingie , sharp ; and Ko●e signifies anger . And have not we reason to be bitte●ly angry , stingily angry , sharply angry with those that would take away our Simnels ? So have I seen , when a young Child has carelesly held a piece of Bread and Butter in his hand and looked another way , that a Grandgousier Dog has come and snatch'd away the Childs Bread and Butter , the Child 's Simnel , and run away with it . Thus we are not to hold our Simnels carelesly in our hands ; but we are to watch and take care that our Simnels , our Rights , and our Priviledges be not taken away . Fears and Jealousies ; Jealousies and Fears : Strange Fears , strange Jealousies are among us . The City is ill principled ; our Sheriffs are Whiggs ; our Common Council and Jury-men are rotten at Core. Hence our Fears , hence our Jealousies ; hence our Jealousies , hence our Fears ; our Simnels are in danger . But 〈…〉 In the mean time , you have heard what Loyalty is . Do you continue your Loyalty ; Remember Forty One ; wear Scarlet Twists ; cry Huzzah . — and Hum in the Church . And leave the rest to our care . FINIS . Advertisement . A Pleasant Conference upon the Observator and Heraclitus , &c. by the Author of this Speculum . 
A54760	----	Dr. Oates's narrative of the Popish plot, vindicated in an answer to a scurrilous and treasonable libel, call'd, A vindication of the English Catholicks, from the pretended conspiracy against the life and government of His Sacred Majesty, &c. / by J.P., gent. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1680 Approx. 188 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 29 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2004-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54760 Wing P2083 ESTC R21048 12610849 ocm 12610849 64376 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54760) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64376) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 772:6) Dr. Oates's narrative of the Popish plot, vindicated in an answer to a scurrilous and treasonable libel, call'd, A vindication of the English Catholicks, from the pretended conspiracy against the life and government of His Sacred Majesty, &c. / by J.P., gent. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [4], 52 p. Printed for Thomas Cockerill ..., London : 1680. Dedication signed: J. Phillips. "Humbly presented to both Houses of Parliament." Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Warner, John, 1628-1692. -- Vindication of the Inglish Catholicks from the pretended conspiracy against the life et government of His Sacred Maiesty. Popish Plot, 1678. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-04 Aptara Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-05 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-07 Aptara Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Dr. Oates's Narrative OF THE POPISH PLOT , VINDICATED : IN AN ANSWER TO A Scurrilous and Treasonable LIBEL , CALL'D , A Vindication of the English Catholicks , from the pretended Conspiracy against the Life and Government of His Sacred Majesty , &c. By I. P. Gent. Humbly presented to both Houses of Parlament . LONDON : Printed for Thomas Cockerill , at the Three Legs in the Poult over against the Stocks-Market , 1680. To the Most Renowned and Most Noble SENATE OF EUROPE , THE Lords and Commons OF ENGLAND ASSEMBL'D IN PARLAMENT . Most Illustrious and Right Honourable , A Certain Pamphlet has lately appear'd in the World without any Name , which has daringly presum'd to call that Pretended , which you have adjudg'd and voted Real , I mean the Popish Plot. And indeed it has been one of the chief designs of the Papists ever since the first discovery , one of their most laborious endeavours , as well by Writing as by slanderous reports , to vilifie and render insignificant that Evidence , which you have both approv'd and justifi'd ; though not before you found it fairly fix'd upon the Basis of important Truth . However , that they might not triumph in the conquests of their Pens , as in the success of their busie Councils , I undertook this brief Essay to stop the career of the first , leaving the greater work to a more mighty Power . I have not from hence taken any occasion in the least to wander among other differences among us , but kept to the subject ; firmly believing the Infallibility of your Counsels after such a serious Debate , and that it was impossible that your Prudence should be impos'd upon by one single person , to weigh and determin as you did . And I thought it would be more for the honour of a National concern to dedicate this small Offering to your tribunal , then guiltily to put my self forth into the World like the Popish Vindicator in disguise . Which is the best Apology I can make , for the presumption of this Publick , but most humble Address of Your Devoted and Most Obedient Servant , I. Phillips . Dr. Oats's NARRATIVE OF THE Popish Plott VINDICATED : In ANSWER to A Scurrilous and Treasonable LIBEL CALL'D A Vindication of the English Catholicks , &c. CAtiline in the hight and heat of his Impious Conspiracy , at what time he was designing the Murther of the Consul , the Massacre of the Roman Fathers , and the Destruction of Rome it self by Fire and Sword , had yet the Confidence to enter the Senate , and with a plausible Harangue to justifie his Innocency . An attempt almost as bold as his March to the intended Sack of his Native Countrey . In like manner an Imp of the same Brood , a Traitor of the same facinorous Principles ( for the Abettors in such important cases as these are as bad as the Contrivers and Actors ) after such lucid and apparent Discoveries of Papistical Catilines and Cethegus's , after so many Examinations of National Councils and Assemblies , so many Convictions and Executions , so much unwearied pains and high Expences to disintangle the Guilty from the Noozes of the Law ; has presum'd to steal into the World , a malicious piece of Labour in Vain , which he calls in down-right Gibberish , A Vindication of the Inglish Catholicks from the pretended Conspiracy against the Life and Government of his Sacred Majesty . A specious Title indeed , wherein the Venerable Impostor , by condescending to allow the King his due and undenyable Epithite of Sacred , thinks to charm the Readers Ear , and lay the foundation of his Delusion . It is a thing very easie to ascribe to the Anointed of God the inseparable Title of Sacred ; but whether such a Veneration proceed from the real Motives of Duty and Allegiance , or from the glozing Inducements of constrain'd and Time-serving Adulation , is many times greatly to be question'd : And indeed never more to be suspected than at this time , from a Person who pretends to write a Vindication of the profess'd Enemies not only of our most Sacred Monarch , but of all Protestant , or as they otherwise term them , Heretical Princes . For if his business be not to Vindicate those whom we Accuse , his Vindication signifies nothing . I must needs say indeed , that his Title salutes us with the prospect of a very lame Story , and an Enterprize undertaken by halves , in regard he only takes up the Cudgels for the Inglish Catholicks ; as if the Foreigners were Saints : But he will find himself under a foul mistake , and that he ought to have prepar'd his Fullers Earth and his Rubbing Brush for both alike , both being equally sully'd with the same Crimes , and stain'd with the same bloody Principles . The occasion of the Dispute is Truth . The Protestants would have her on their side , the Catholicks court her to take their part . To which purpose the private aim of their Vindication is to prove there was no Popish Plot ; the Publick design , to render the First Discoverer a meer Caitiffe ; so not to be believd , and consequently that England was at that time and still is govern'd by persons either strangely credulous , and stupidly unwary , or else as strangely malicious and Bloodthirsty . Ponderous Accusations to be thrown upon the Government and Religion of a Nation . In the first place therefore it behoves us stricttly to Examine , who this Titan of a Vindicator is , who so boldly dares to Scale the Heaven of Soveraign Majesty , and impeach at once the Prudence and Justice of Three Kingdoms . And then for whom all this Bustle is made , for whom all this Toyl and Labour is undertaken ; who these pretended Inhabitants of Salem are , that breathe out such complaints of wrong and injury . Who if they once appear such as we more than justly suspect them to be , will come very far short of their swelling Expectations . There is no question then to be made but that this Potent Vindicator is a Roman Catholick ; what Title he bears , or what Order he Musters under , it nothing imports . For of all those Religious Fraternities , confirmed by those Imaginary Vicars of Christ , call'd Popes , there is little or no difference to be made . They are all grown corrupt ; there is not one doth good , no not one . Pride was the Foundation of their Humility ; Impiety of their Devotion , and Interest of Ecclesiastical Policy confirm'd and supported their Hypocrisie . This is not only one Doctor 's Opinion ; for take them altogether Higglede Pigglede , one with another , and then hear the Character , which the great and Famous Mezeray , an Author of their own Profession bestows upon them . On ne sgauroit , sans rougir Parler , &c. We cannot , without Blushing , sayes he , speak of the Vsury , the Covetousness , the Drunkenness , and Dissoluteness of the Clergy in General ; of the Licentiousness and Villanous Debaucheries of the Monks in particular : The Luxury , the Pride and Prodigality of the Prelates ; the shameful Sloth , the stupid Ignorance and Superstition both of the one and the other . In another place the same Historian speaks in general , that Harry the fourth , during his Reign , detected above Fifty Conspiracies against his Life , the most of them contriv'd and fomented by the Church-men and Religious Orders . Upon which he makes this remark ; So many pernicious Effects does indiscreet zeal produce . If you examine in particular the several Guilds and Societies of those Papistical Votaries , that so numerously overspread the several Quarters of Europe , you shall find the Benedictines Taxed and upbraided for their excessive Pride of Habit , their Silken Garments and their guilded Shooes , for their Gluttony and Epicurism , and for their excessive Wine-bibbing , in the primitive times of their Institution . Nay , you shall find them conspiring to Poyson the Founder Benedict himself , because he held them too strictly to the Observation of his Rules , From this Order sprang the Monks of Clugny , the Monks of Camaldoli , Val ' Ombrosa , Grandmont , the Carthusians , the Cistertians and Bernardines , the Humiliates , the Praemonstrates , and several other Petty Orders . As for the Humiliates , who one would in charity think , should have been the most harmless and Dovelike people in the World , they were such a notorious Generation of Vipers , that Pius the V. not able to endure their enormous courses of living , and terrified with their intended assassination of Cardinal Borroméo , their Protector , abolished the whole Order , and would no longer suffer such Vermin within the Limits of his Jurisdiction . Of the Rest , you have this lovely Character given in general , without any complemental or partial exception , by an ancient English Poet. Qui duce Bernardo gradiuntur , vel Benedicto , Aut Augustine subleviore jugo , Omnes sunt fures , quocunque Charactere Sancto Signati veniant , magnificentque Deum . Who Bernard's Rules , or Benedict's obey , Or covet holy Austin's lighter Yoak , They 're all a pack of Thieves , however they Disguize their Crimes , or falsely God Invoke . More particularly sit and admire the heavy Reproaches thrown upon all these Sons of Corah , said to be the Monks of the third Classis , by Bernard Abbot of Clairvaux , for their most Nefarious Luxury and Debauchery . Venter , saith he , dum nescit , oneratur ; sed varietas tollit fastidium ; and in another place , Parcitas putatur avaritia , sobrietas austeritas creditur , silentiam tristitia reputatur . Petrus Cantor affirms the Monastical way of Liviug to be supported Ex foenoribus & usuris Avarorum , ex mendaciis deceptionum et deceptionibus mendacium praedicatorum mercenariorum , &c. Petrus Cluniacensis will not allow the Mansions of the Monks to be other than Synagoga Satanae . And of the Reverend Fathers themselves , saith he , Quid illi sibi de Monacho praeter nomen & habitum vendicant ? Honorius a Presbyter of the Church of Autun in France , speaking of all the whole Rabble , Contemplare , saith he , Monachorum Conciliabula , & videbis in eis Bestiae Tabernacula , per habitum seculum fallunt , deceptos decepti decipiunt , secularibus negotiis impliciti , in servitio Dei desides existunt . If you survey the fourth Classis of Mumpers , Sturdy Beggars , Scrapcravers , and Spittles , of which number are the Carmelites , Dominicans , Franciscans , Minors , &c. As for the Carmelites , certainly a worse Character cannot well be given to men , than that which Nicolaus Gullus , the seventh General Master of their Order has conferr'd upon them : Who not only in a very high measure impeaches their Sloth , their Ignorance , their Lust and Luxury , but calls them Reprobates , Stigmatiz'd fellows , Vagabonds , Tale-bearers , Citizens of Sodom , and the Tail of the Dragon , drawing after it the third part of the Stars . And these were they that to uphold the credit of their Mumping Trade , reported and defended it for truth , that the Virgin Mary went a Beging . The Dominicans had their rise from Forgery , Fraud and Imposture , from feigned Miracles , Visions and Apparitions of the Mother of Christ , now the derision and Laughter of the World ; and the Infernal Politicks of Rome , which having experienced the success of their Founder Dominick's Invectives to the utter destruction of above a hundred thousand Murther'd Albigenses , thought it a piece of their Ecclesiastical prudence to cherish and propagate such dexterous Instruments of their Cruelty . Upon the same Foundations were rear'd the great Priviledges of Franciscans , and Minorites , whose crimes , iniquities , impostures , lewdness , and Vices of all sorts and sizes , have been the Themes that have employed the Pens of sundry Learned men , that could not forbear to detect their Enormities . Nor could any thing be more infamous in History , than that Hellish piece of Villany which was acted at Bern in Switzerland , upon occasion of the difference between the Minorites and Franciscans , about the Conception of the Virgin Mary . In which Story the Reader may find the very Person of Christ , the Virgin Mary , and two of their own Saints , St. Barbara , and St. Katherine , most audaciously rather nefariously counterfeited to support their own Assertion . The Relation is to be read in Stumpsius's Annals of Switzerland . Of these Mendicants , Nicolaus Clemangis , Arch-deacon of Bayeux , raises a very severe and general Question : Quid commendabile de ipsis dicere possumus ? Petrus de Aliaco , a Cardinal , stiles them , Hominibus onerosos . Polydore Virgil calls them , Fraudulentorum hominum Sectam . As for the Iesuits , how they have behav'd themselves in the World , you may easily see by their Expulsions out of so many Kingdoms and Common-wealths : Particularly after that Villanous Attempt upon the Sacred Person of Henry the fourth by Iean Chastel , by a particular Act of the Parliament of Paris , it was Enacted , That the Priests and Scholars of the Colledge of Clermont , and all others of the Society of Jesus , as being corrupters of Youth , disturbers of the publick Tranquility , and Enemies of the King and Kingdom , should depart the Kingdom in fifteen dayes , and that their Goods and Revenues should be employ'd in Charitable works , as the Parliament should think fit . Father Guignard , in whose Chamber several Scandalous Libels were found against Henry the 3 d. and Henry the 4 th . was condemned to be Hanged ; and Father Guerit , who had been Chastel's Tutor , sentenced to a perpetual Exilement . Of this same mysterious Tribe are all those pretended imitators of Iesus , who having made all England ring with their amazing Villanies and Parricides , have made all Europe stare at the Impudence of their Defences and Denials : For what they cannot Deny , they Vindicate ; what they cannot Vindicate , they Deny ; as if there were no truth in History , and that all were falshood but what they coyn in their Mints of Lying and Equivocation , to support their unsanctified endeavours to maintain and propagate the power of Antichrist . I say what they cannot Deny , they try to Vindicate . And thus because they could not deny the Murther of Henry the third , Sixtus the first then Pope , had the impudence to applaud the Fact , with the Epethites of Insigne & Memorabile , & longè Majus quam illud Sanctae Iudith . Which when once that Lamb of God , who pretends to forgive all the crimes in the world , had done , no wonder Mariana and Verona follow'd his steps , the one in Vindication of Iacob Clements , the other of Iohn Chastel ; no wonder there should be a Book published at Doway , in which the Jesuits impeach'd the Act of the Parliament of Paris of Absurdity and Injustice ; or that the Jesuits should excite , exhort and encourage Ravaillac to compleat that unhallowed murther which others had so unsuccessfully attempted . This may suffice to give you a short prospect of the Credit of the whole Roman Catholick Clergy , of which I may say in brief , as Callimacus says of the Cretans , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : — Or , As Hesiod , in his Theogonie of the Lying Priests of his time , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Or rather according to the Character given to the unruly vain Bablers and Deceivers of his time , by St. Paul , out of Epimenides : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . How then comes it to pass , that men who for so many Ages together have been persons of a profligate credit , however they may blind the World with an outward Sobriety , they that have long ago forfeited all their Reputation for common Honesty and Morality ; for what signifies the Morality of discharging the Expences of daily necessities between Neighbour and Neighbour ? what imports an outward civil conversation in obedience to the Law , when at the same time they are clandestinely designing against those very Neighbours to deprive them of their Political Tranquility , and hazarding their Estates by Invading the Soveraign Protection of Both. I say then how comes it to pass that such persons of profligate credit , the professors of a profligate Religion ; a vicious and mishapen Mixture of Ceremony and Superstition , that will not pass the Muster of common Reason ; should be such Sisters and Winnowers of Truth ? What have they to do to be so strictly Inquisitive after the Motes in other mens eyes , that have such massy Beams in their own ? Why should it be such an improbability to believe , that people that were so active in their Contrivances against Q. Elizabeth , King Iames , and Charles the first , should be so unlikely to Plot against Charles the Second . As if the Roman Catholicks had but newly entertained the Charm of Sacred into their Breasts , and that it was no protection against their Violences , when as truly worn by his Predecessors . With what Impudence can they presume to be the Judges of the pretended perjuries of other Man , who themselves trample under foot the solemnity of Swearing ; have invaded and corrupted all the Laws of Testimony , and with the Canker and Aqua fortis of their Diabolical Equivocations have endeavoured to corrode and dissolve the very Ligaments and Bands of Humane Societies ? Because they deny , we must not be believ'd ; because they assert , there 's no Contradiction to be made against them . A most ignenious project indeed , to propagate the grand Mystery of Iniquity . What a golden Age it would be among Thieves and Robbers , Ruffians and Murtherers , and all sorts of Malefactors , were they but once allow'd to defend their Villanies by their own bare denyal of the facts , or the Recrimitation of their Accusers . But this Vindicator and his Crew , because they are no better than such , would fain have it so to be , that it might be at their own pleasure to Govern the belief of the World. Because they have render'd all their sayings , their writings and their Attestations of as little Credit as the Alchoran ; therefore it is a thing impossible for any other men to speak Truth . And yet while they are Sweating , Toyling , Moyling , Panting and Labouring to Stop and Undermine the Truth of Evidence , encouraging and employing the debauched Pens of Criminals and Protestants in Masquerade , setting their mercenary Emissaries for pitiful Rewards and Tavern expences , to fill the Town and Country with their Stories , Lyes and Fables , to delude Belief and trouble the Stream of succeeding History , they do but act the same things of which they accuse others , rather disclosing and evincing than concealing their own shame , and manifesting the Verity of their foul deeds . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . The Truth is always better detected by a Patient silence and contempt of Political Malice , than by so many boistrous , laborious and forced Vindications , which make it Evident that so much Bustle , so much stir is not for nothing . They confess there was a Plot , but they say it was contriv'd by others , and not by them . And to that purpose , they endeavour'd to throw their Meal-Tub-shams upon the Innocent ; But the success of the Proof on both sides was far different ; for many of theirs have suffer'd , none of ours were so much as question'd . And yet such was their Diligence , such the discouragement of ours , such the strength of their Party , that perhaps it might have gone hard with some persons , had there been the least appearance of Truth in what was design'd by those Knights of the Meal-tub , and crafty Secretaries of Collonel Mansel's pretended Letters . But all those Elaborate Engines of deceit being Providentially overturn'd and render'd unsuccessefull , what can men of Reason Judge but that all their Windings and Shiftings , all their Forgeries and Reproaches , all their Rolling Sisyphus's Stone , are but the Effects of their disappointed Fury to see their tottering Religion more weakned and Expugned by their own Diabolical practices , that have thrown upon their Nonsensical Superstition the additional stains and defilements of Treason and Murder , and awaken'd the Jealousies of all the Princes of Europe to put in Execution the Motto of Lewis the XII . Perdam Baylylonis Nomen , more than all the Opposition either of Germany or Geneva . Seeing then all the several Orders of the Roman Clergy , and this Vindicator of the Inglish Catholicks , being of the same Gang , are so far from being Persons of Credit , that they are not only the Subject of every Satyrical Pen , but the Religious Scorn and Indignation of so many good and grave Men of their own Profession ; we may presume that those Thunder-bolts of Perjury and concocted Lyes which they toss with so much Rage at others , will not prove so Fatal as vain Malice suggests to men of their own lewd Principles . Now then to the Particular difference between the Vindicator and Dr. Oats . And first let us see whence comes this dismal Shower of broad Arrows , and barbed Defiances . It seems , Non omne malum ab Aquilone ; a little brush of Misfortune from the South , St. Omers and Doway must Club to vindicate the Inglish Catholicks . Two Reverend Seminaries of Mischief , where are the best Forges and the best Artists , as Famous for Forming Lyes and Reproaches against the Protestants , as the Workmen of Montpellier for making of Tweezers . What Instructors of Youth they are , is yet fresh in Memory , upon their sending such a Knot of young Striplings , furnished and fortified with all the Sleights of Equivocation , to lye and forswear themselves for Conveniency ; a Vertue which the Iesuits thought both Rationable and Justifiable , as being Applauded by Lucians Philospeudes , the Vindicators particular Author . So that I am afraid there is but little hopes of Truth to come from either of these places , where the Masters are so ready , and the Scholars so apt to learn the Mystery of Lying . His Address to the Reader , he calls to the Courteous Reader ( for indeed the Reader must be very courteous that takes notice what he says ) and tells him , he is to examine a Pamphlet , which is singular in its kind . He means something else , whatever it is ; help him Mrs. Cellier . For certainly this was not the first detection that ever was made of Popish Conspiracy and Treason in England , and therefore not singular in its kind . But he endeavours to explain himself , saying , It is an Original ; for its Author found none to copy : and he hopes none will ever copy him . In truth , I don't understand him yet ; 't was very discourteously done to chop Nonsence upon a courteous Reader at the first dash . It was a violent strain to usher in a Quibble . But whatever the Vindicator meant , the Author of the Original never meant it should be other . He does well to confess it an Original ; for then you may be sure it was the Authors own . No work , he says , so like the True Narrative , as Lucians True History . What did this Fool mean to bring the True Narrative and Lucian's True History together , between which there is no more Paralell or Similitude than between an Oyster and a Pippin . If he did it to shew his Learning , he is cursedly mistaken to conclude the falshood of the true Narrative from the truth of Lucians true History . For to tell him the truth , Lucian 's true History is no true History ; so that by the force of his Antithesis , Lucians true History being feigned , the True Narracive must be true . However like one that never read Lucians true History , he essayes to make out his Comparison , and sayes , Lucians true History is witty , the True Narrative stupid . Go on — That delights , this grieves ; That laughs , this bites . A very pretty description of a true History . However in so doing , it did the Office it was intended for ; it did both grieve and bite , but none but those that deserved it , which was a greater Argument of its being true , than any the Vindicator has brought out of Lucian to prove it false . So that I am apt to believe , this Conceit of the Vindicators was conceived in his Heel ; as Lucian , in his True History tells ye , the Men in the Moon conceived , and not in his Head. However he has placed it in the Forefront of his Battel , to shew ye the strength of his Imagination . He sayes , He never saw the man. Non imperte — and so knows nothing of him but by hear-say , and his works , which discover his better part , his soul : I find the shallow Vindicators Prospective-glass was too short to discover his Soul ; but as to his Body , it being allowable among the Iesuits to abuse those they never saw in their lives , he adds , That his Physiognomy in a Pamphlet is said to be an Index to all Villany , and that any letter'd man may read Rogue in his face . This denotes in the Vindicator two Jesuitical perfections , Malice and Rascality , from the single authority of a Pamphlet to call a man Rogue , that he never saw in his life . And who wrote this Pamphlet ? A certain Fortune-teller of their own Gang. A very easie way of defamation , to borrow Reproaches from one another . However there be that say , if they had had his face , they would not have chang'd it with any of the five Jesuits that were hang'd . Certain it is , that being presented to the Bishop of St. Omers for Confirmation , he stopt when he came to Oats , because he doubted whether his heart was prepared to receive the Holy Ghost , the Spirit of Love , in whose face He perceived signs of great Malice . It seems then , the Vindicator Berogu'd the man he never saw , by his own Confession , upon trust ; the more Knave he for his pains ; for he was not certain of the first , but he is certain of This. And what does this signifie ? As if the Bishop of St. Omers spoke nothing but Gospel . Men must be scandaliz'd by such Enemies to Truth as the Vindicator , because such disciples of Artemidorus , as the Bishop of St. Omers , shoot their fools bolts at Random against a Young Scholars face . An excellent Reward for a Proselite that came to be admitted into their foppish Religion . But to return your Bishop Physiognomie for his Physiognomie ; St. Francis , one of his great Saints , was such a contemptible , ill-look't , beetle-brow'd fellow , that when he came to Innocent the Third for the Confirmation of his Rule , the Pope bid him go wallow with the Hogs , ( for whom he was fitter company than for men ) and not trouble him with his Rules . So much may the Pope , much more the Bishop of St. Omers , be deceived in Humane Physiognomie . The Vindicator goes on ; He stiles himself ( quoth he ) Doctor of Divinity , and sayes he commenced Doctor at Salamanca . Which cannot be ; First , for he never was at Salamanca . To which the Doctor answers , That it may be , for First , he was at Salamanca . Now whether the Doctors Argument be not as good as the Vindicators , I leave to any ordinary Logician : Nay it is more probable that the Doctor should know whether he was at Salamanca or no , than a man that never saw him in his life . Secondly , None but Priests , saith He , are admitted to that Degree in Catholick Vniversities , and he never was a Priest. To this the Doctor makes answer , that the Vindicator is in a very great errour : For that Father Landayada , when he was only a Clericus Minor was made a Doctor , and that he was not made a Priest till some time afterwards . But the Doctor could not stay for his Priesthood , because of his urgent occasions in England . Then the Vindicator tells ye a story of the Archbishop of Tuam , how the Doctor wrote to him for Holy Orders , which the Bishop deny'd him , because of the ill Charracter he heard of his Life and Manners . Who does this Vindicator write to ? certainly not to the Protestants ; and then what does his Vindication signifie ? Here is an Irish Priest , that pretends to an Archbishoprick in the King of Englands Dominions , to which he has no more right than Tom Thumb , one that lives under the ill Character of an Exile , a Renegado , one that has renounc'd his Allegiance to his Soveraign , and as a Foreigner gives Him only the Title of Most Serene King of Great Britain ; and because this Hedge Archbishop would not give the Doctor what he had no Power or authority to conferre , and to excuse himself pretends an ill Character of the Doctor , therefore this must pass for currant . 'T is easily believ'd , that they who usurp all the good Characters to themselves , have none to spare for the Doctor , the Capital Enemy of their Treasons and Impieties . It argues nothing but meer spite and malice to lay general Accusations against a mans Physiognomy , and reproach him with the general Term of an ill Character , when they lay nothing in particular to his charge . And so good night to this silly Objection . Thirdly , He had not Learning sufficient for any Degree in a Catholick Vniversity . That 's strange ! How then come so many Dunces , Blockheads , Ignoramus's and stupid Theologists , to obtain their Degrees in Catholick Universities . A thing so common , that there is nothing more frequently complain'd of than the doltish Ignorance of the Romish Clergy . But the Doctor tells the Vindicator , that he is still resolv'd to assume the Title in spite of his teeth ; and still asserts it to be his Right ; and that he had once a fair Diploma to have justifi'd the Truth of it , ( if any truth may be justifi'd to such opinionated and headstrong Mules as the Vindicator and his Gang ) but that Fenwick , White , and Wilmot rifl'd his Study , and took it from him , as the Monks of Doway serv'd a reformed Brother of Theirs , by robbing him of his Letters of Orders , to the end he might not be able to justifie his Ordination . Nevertheless the Doctor is not so bare of Testimony , but that Fenwicks Papers sufficiently witness'd before the Lords , that the Charges of his Proceeding at Salamanca were payd by the Society here in London : A fair Argument , that the Dr. had as much Learning as the Quoter of Lucians True History , and as well deserved his Degree for it , as He will do for his Vindication . And thus the Vindicator , against his will , happens to speak an unlucky piece of Truth , That the Doctors Doctorship and Papists Treason were both hammer'd on the same Anvil . For no question but Salamanca was as deeply concern'd in the Plot as St. Omers . Now , quo he , I appeal to all who know any thing of the Iesuites , whether it be credible that Oats a Scholar , should be employ'd in Negotiations of State , of most dangerous nature and highest consequence ? Oh! are ye come to your Appeals ? Then we shall deal well enough with ye . Who would think it credible that the Iesuites , those Doctors of Policy , those Engrossers and Forestallers of Learning , should employ such a pitiful poor Scholar , as Iean Chastell the Son of a Draper , in such a Negotiation of State , of such a most dangerous Nature and highest consequence , as the Murther of a Sacred King ? Who would think that that same Pythagoras of a Iesuite , should run the Risco of being his Tutor and Instructer to prepare him for the fact ? And yet so it was without any Equivocation , and there was a fair Attempt made , for which the Iesuits were expell'd France , Father Guignard was hang'd , and the Philosopher Gueret condemned to perpetual Banishment . Now after all this , who would think the Jesuits and other Papists should be so impudent , as to come with their Ifs and And 's , and How is it probables , to Vindicate themselves from the Guilt of the Assassination ? Who would think they should go about to lay their Crimes upon the Huguenots , as the Vindicator and his Gang lately endeavour'd to father their Treasons upon the Presbyterians ? and yet they were so Impudent , and did so . For with your good leave , Mr. Vindicator , Litera Scripta manet , there 's no fence against the Record of allow'd History . The Author of the Libel Printed at Doway , against the Decree of the Parliament of Paris , was so confident as to averr , that it was Fram'd and compos'd on purpose to render the Iesuits Odious . How is it probable , cryes the same Author , that Chastel , such a Proficient in Philosophy , should suffer himself to be perswaded , that Kings might be Murther'd ? How is it likely , that Chastel should so positively affirm , that such approv'd Doctors should write and teach the same ? So that the courteous Reader may plainly see , this way of Iffing and Anding , and Appealing , is no more than their old way of Shamming and Shifting , reviv'd by the Compendium , and imitated again by this same Learned Reader of Lucian . Certain it is , they could not be without some body to do the Drudgery of Transaction : And why their Pupil Oats , a Scholar , as they themselves call him , might not be as fit a person to go of their Messages , carry their Letters and open 'em by the way , as any of their learned Priests ; why he might not be thought to have behav'd himself so well among them , as to be trusted , and entrusted , and trusted again , there has nothing happen'd in the sequel of his conduct that could make any man think the contrary . Neither indeed was there that vast difference between the Doctors despised parts , and the Elevated Capacities of them that were hang'd , but that he might be an Associate with better men than they at any time . And there is no greater Argument of his being one of their Chief Instruments , than the Mistaken Judgment that they made of his Physiognomy . For the Vindicator confesses they intended him much good , if his nature had been susceptible of good Advice . Otherwise 't was very ill done of the Iesuits , so lovingly to entertain a person in whose face they read Rogue , and was so obnoxious for the Ill Characters of his Life and Manners , but that through those very Errors of their silly skill in Phisiognomy , they look'd upon him as a fit Engine to carry on their designs . So that from his own conclusion revers'd , since there was nothing of Strangeness or Improbability in the Plot , as being a common piece of Papistical practice , it is as little strange or Improbable , that Oats a Schollar should be employed in it . He would perswade us in the next place , that the Doctor was never employ'd by Iesuits , because he says , he knew the Generals Hand and Seal , and had several times seen his Name ; Yet in the first place , never hit his name right . It might be very true that the Doctor had seen his name , and yet never see it truly written . 'T is a frequent thing in England for strangers to misspell one anothers names , and it is as frequent to prosecute and sue persons by names mis-spelt , and yet such a Misnomer invalidates neither the Prosecution nor the Action . He was right in the bulk of the name Oliva ; whether it were De Oliva , or Di Oliva , or D' Oliva , it was not a straw matter , neither were the Letters tak'n in White 's Chamber produc'd to prove the wrong or right spelling of the General 's name , but that he was guilty of the Plot ; which doing so effectually as they did , 't was not material to examin whether D' Oliva's name were spelt right or no. He says the Doctor mistakes the Inscription of the Seal , and that there never was a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in any Iesuits Seal . A General and therefore very bold assertion . And yet he confesses the Seal varies , and sometimes contains one thing , then another . But what is this to the purpose ? for throughout all the true Narrative the Doctor does not undertake to tell the Inscription of the Iesuits Seal . He saies indeed in his true Narrative , that I. H. S. signified the Iesuits : He also says that the Commissions to the chief Conspirators were stamped by the General of Iesuits , but concerning the form or fashion of the Seal , there is not one single Syllable . The Vindicators business is to answer the true Narrative ; if he do not that , he does nothing . Alas poor silly Woodpecker ! He come to strike at the root of a discovery with such dull Tools as these ! I had thought he would have brought such dismal Instruments of Ruin , that would have display'd the very Foundations of the Tower of Babel , that he would have put off his Doublet , fallen to work , and outdone Hercules's twelve Labourers : Instead of this , he comes in sneaking like some superannuated Pigmy , with a couple of formal sentences , which his Grandmother taught him , or else collected out of Gregories Morals , or some such musty Author ; as if he had quitted the force of Reason , and intended to proceed by the more lazy way of Miracle . Alas ! we knew that the speaking of material contradictions weaken the Credit of a Witness ; we knew what Truth , and Falshood were , without the aid of his Nonsensical Information . Then he rambles into the Tryals of Ireland , Coleman and Langhorn , which no way belong to his Province , and for Reply to which we shall referr the Reader to Dr. Oats's Vindication in Answer to the Compendium , from whence this feeble Vindicator has rifl'd both his matter and his Observations . Then he proceeds and says , The Doctor declar'd in Parliament , He had no body considerable to accuse besides those he had nam'd , but after he accused some of the very Prime , whom before he had not nam'd . From this Suggestion , though absolutely false , the Vindicator would have the Dr. Evidently perjur'd . To which purpose he sets up a Court of Judicature consisting of himself , and by the help of a Scrap of Latin , and a versicle of Scripture nothing to the purpose ( as being far more applicable to himself and his party ) condemns the Doctor , and declares himself satisfi'd . And thus you see , Gentlemen , the Vindicator has got a great Victory ; he has convinc'd himself ; and so there 's one of his great Labours over . One would have thought he would have stop'd here , as believing the World would have been fully satisfied in his Judgment . But he proceeds and sayes , the manner of the Accusation is such , as any Knave by his Oath might bring any person in Question . He means , the Accusation was an Accusation ; for all the World knows , an Accusation justified upon Oath , will bring the Parties accused into Question . But Accusations of that Importance as are contain'd in the True Narrative , are too high attempts to be carryed on by ordinary Knaves , but only such extraordinary Knaves as themselves ; such as they that had so lately contriv'd to put their Shamms upon the Innocent , to cover their own shame . But there was this difference between the Doctors Accusation and theirs , that his was providentially upheld , theirs by Providence confounded . We have a long story , quoth the Vindicator , of Treasonable Words spoken , and Treasonable Letters written by several , who all protest they never heard of any such thing , till Oats 's Narrative appear'd . Assuredly this Fop of a Vindicator wrote his Vindication to be laught at ; for men were not such Fools to betray themselves . And yet in some measure by the help of their dear Minion , Equivocation , they protested the Truth . They did not believe they had spoken Treasonable Words , or written Treasonable Letters , till the Doctors Narrative appearing , both their Words and Letters were so adjudged : but then it seems their Ears were open'd ; and you do not hear the Vindicator urge their Protestation any farther than the appearing of the Narrative . The Story of Bedingfield , as he by his own Confession relates it out of a Pamphlet , scribl'd by one of his confederates ( by which you may see from what Muck-hills of Treason he rakes his scoundrel Observations ) to speak his own Language , is a wicked Lye. For Bedingfield knew there was a Pacquet lay for him at the Post-house ; but not daring to fetch it himself , sent a Friend for it , and when he had it , shew'd it another Cordial Friend , besought him to carry the Letters to Court , and to improve them to the best advantage ( which the Vindicator calls doing his Duty : ) Thereupon the Letters were shewn in Council as disown'd by Bedingfield , and an Argument drawn from thence of the Improbability of the Plot , that men should of themselves produce Letters of that consequence ; but Bedingfield being sent for to be examin'd about them , could not be found high nor low ; he had prudently withdrawn himself out of harms way . The Story of Atalanta had taught Bedingfield that piece of cunning ; who not daring to trust himself to an Escape with such papers about him , like those that scatter Gold to prevent the swiftness of pursuit , sent his troublesome Pacquet to employ the debates of the Council , when the business was new and scarcely believ'd , while he shifted for himself . Otherwise Father Bedingfield might as well have carryed his Innocent Pacquet to Court himself , as have troubled his Friend . And it had been a noble piece of service for such a Grave Father to have appear'd , and by the Discovery of the Doctors Knavery , as they call it , to have diverted the Tempest so blackly threatning the heads of his dear friends . But to give the Vindicator Scripture for Scripture , out of the very next words to his Quotation , in the first Epistle to Timothy ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . The rest of the Paragraph is meer Canting and Mockery of God and Men ; the more ridiculous for his quotation of Whitebread . As if he had no other supports for his Vindication than the Hypocritical Ejaculations of Executed Traytors . But now he will follow the Deponent step by step . There 's something in that , for all this while he has done nothing . And what he says , shall be confirm'd by the undoubtedly true Attestation of Arch-bishop of Tuam , the perjur'd Frye of St. Omers and Doway , the Jesuits of the Confederacy , and the rest of his bloody Canaille ; Murtherers shall give it ye under their hands they are no Murtherers , and Traitors attest they are no Traitors . Drive on Coachman . For though in Equity our bare Denyal ought to be preferr'd before his Asseverations , when the Vindicator is Chancellor , not otherwise ; for , in dubio favendum est reo , prius quam Actori , which is utterly deny'd him , when hitherto neither Justice nor Reason have made any doubt of the Guilt of his Party ; Yet he will prove irrefragably what he advances ; that is , if he can . However his heart is good , and he promises fair ; so that if the old Proverbs of Curst Cows and Threatned Folks do not help us , we are all at a loss . In the two following Paragraphs you shall find him Accoutring Himself to make his publick Entry , putting on the Vizor of a starched Humility , dressing himself in all Habiliments of Dissimulation and Hypocrisie , Flattering the King whom he abhorrs in his heart , Colloguing with the Parliament which he abominates , and acting all the tricks of Jesuitical Mountebankry that St. Omers Magazine could furnish him withall . He says , he will not repeat the Seditious and Traiterous words of his Majesties Sacred Person ; that is to say , he owns 'em all to be true , and therefore he will not put himself upon impossibilities , to Vindicate the English Catholicks in this particular . As for his complement to His Majesty , 't is only to be lookt upon as the forced Effect of Papistical Dispensation , necessary at this conjuncture . There 's never a time that he calls the King Sacred , but he receives Absolution . Else he would endure a long demorage and a severe chastisement in Purgatory , to call that person Sacred whom he knows to be Excommunicated by his Lord God the Pope , and depriv'd of his Dominions by his Ecclesiastical Censures . Certainly , saies he , the words were never spoken by any Papist , Priest or Iesuit . Certainly they were ; and some of them were hang'd for their pains ; nor is it the first time they have done so . The Papists , and among them the Monks and Jesuits , were they that unking'd Henry the 3 d. of France , and left him nothing but the bare Title of Henry Valois . The Monks and Jesuits were they that made the Pulpits of Paris ring with their Rebellious Declamations against their Soveraign . And the whole Faculty of Theology then among the Papists esteemed the chiefest of Christendom , gave it for their Opinions , that the French were Absolv'd from their Allegiance to Henry of Valois . And does the Vindicator believe there were neither Papists , Monks nor Jesuits of that Facalty ? — Credat Iudaeus Apella . What Priest , Monk or Jesuit durst give the Title of Sacred to Henry of Navarr , whom Sixtus the V. their Head and Lord , by whom they all subsist , had condemned for a Heretick , depriv'd of his Dominions , and declared incapable of Succeeding to the Crown . The Pope , the Sorbonne , the Iesuits , and allmost all the New Orders of Religion , ( among which we are to believe there were neither Papists nor Monks ) were they that contriv'd and fomented the League of the French Papists against their two Soveraigns , Henry the 3 d , and Henry the 4 th . Father Claude Matthieu , a Jesuit , was call'd Le Courier de la ligne , because of his continual Posting to Rome for the advancement of that Rebellion . And can any man be so stupid as to imagin , that all this while those Fryars , Monks and Jesuits , never spoke treasonable words , when they utter'd nothing but Treason in their Pulpits ; never wrote Treasonable Letters , without which such a Rebellion could never be carryed on ; or believ'd the Title of Sacred belong'd to Pope-condemn'd and Anathema'd Princes ? — Credat Iudaeus Apella . I fetch not these Instances out of Protestant Records , but from their own Historians . From whence I argue the Falshood and Arrogance of this quacking Vindicator , and by which all men of Sence and Story may see what credit there is to be given to the rest that follows . Did he see his Observations would be Offensive to any in Authority , he would suppress them . No , no — 't is well enough ; For though this sentence of the Vindicators be an Impudent Reflection upon the Supream Authority of England , and those who at present Govern the Helm of State , yet some compassion may be shew'd to his sawcy Supposition , and pretended Blindness , in regard that by divulging his inconsiderate Malice , he has rather justified the proceedings of those in Authority , than Vindicated those Miscreants whom they punished . The Lords Spiritual and Temporal are mightily beholding to him for his Acknowledgments , though 't is verily suppos'd , They will hardly return him their Thanks , unless he will vouchsafe to come over and fetch it himself . He did ill , when he was in such a Courteous vein , not to thank 'em too for Voting what was discover'd in the Narrative to be Truth : Then the disproof of the true Narrative would render him an Illustrious Vindicator indeed . Nothing could be sufficient for his recompence , but the Pontificate it self . But the lewd progress he makes presages so ill of his side , that if he ever come to preferment in the Church , it must be by his Duncery , and not by his Ingenuity . But now he returns to the King , and hopes His Majesty will not be displeased with harmless Endeavours to Vindicate persons wrongfully accused . He forgets his Title of Sacred already ; and Blaspheming that Sacred Majesty which he pretends to reverence , presumes to tell the King , that those persons whose Crimes and Treasons he himself had so patiently and with so much consideration examin'd , were wrongfully accused . Yet not content with this , under the disguise of humble Admonition , from his Castle of St. Omers , more daringly assails his Sacred Honour , and Taxes him of shedding Innocent Blood. Who would not now believe this Miscreant Vindicator Himself , to be one of those that contriv'd the Assassination of his Sacred Person , that so irreligiously Attacks and Undermines his Sacred Reputation ? And what is all this clamor for ? Onely for putting to deserved Death a company of Varlets and Vagabonds , who ought to have been hang'd , if for nothing else , for only Scaperloytring within the forbidden Limits of his Dominions . He is now got into a Preaching humour , and sayes , Defence of Life and Honour is commanded by the Law of Nature . 'T is so , and therefore his most Sacred Majesty is resolv'd to take the best care he can to preserve his own , and the Life and Honour of his Subjects , from the Villanous Attempts of the Vindicator and his Confederates . For , pursues he , should we admit the Reproaches of Traitors , Conspirators , Plotters , King-killers , &c. we were not fit to live in any State. 'T is very true ; and therefore because they could not avoid those Reproaches , that 's the very reason they have been expell'd out of so many States and Kingdoms , and particularly out of This. And so to his Observations on the Epistle Dedicatory . He begins , Mr. Oats — Well — here Friend — what 's your business ? Why , — If all you say in your Narrative be true , if the Conspiracy be real — &c. — then so . But if the Plot be feigned , if the whole Information be a heap of Lies , if the persons accused be innocent , &c. — then so — A very worshipful Speech in good sooth — for the which , — Dii te , Damasippe , deaeque — donent Tonsore — It is a very irrefragable Argument indeed , and I suppose such a one as they call at St. Omers , Argumentum ad Hominem ; that is , the Vindicator calls to Mr. Oats , being a Man , and tells him , If it be so — 't is so — If it be otherwise — 't is otherwise — From whence I argue , that if the Logick of St. Omers be no profounder , it may be easily fathom'd . Well then for once we will grant , that if the Doctors Narrative be true , he merits Reward ; if false , he deserves Punishment . Now what 's the Consequence ? Why the Consequence is this . If the Narrative be false , no Crime can be greater than His. If true , no reward can be too great . I appeal to both the Universities , whether this be not acutely argued ? But , Heaven be prais'd , the Logical fit is over , and the Vindicator betakes himself to his former method of rambling Discourse , which better agrees with his humour , if I may not say Capacity . You boast , saith the Vindicator , of your inbred Loyalty , which neither your Education nor your Discourse confirm . Suppose a man be bred a Turk or a Iew , what is that to the purpose how he was educated in his Youth ? He left his Fathers Education , and came to you to St. Omers for Breeding ; why did not you teach him better ? We had thought you had intended your Vindication against the Doctor , not his Eather . Now for his Discourse , you say , the Doctor calls concealing Treasons and concurring with Treasons ( the subject of his Majesties Pardon ) Human frailties , as if he esteemed them little Peccadillo's , and Venial sins . Pray , Mr. Vindicator , where were your Brains ? or how long did you scratch before you hit upon this learned Exposition of yours . For he sayes no such words , and the sence of what he writes you most falaciously misinterpret . The Doctor sayes only this , that the Narrative had its rise from his inbred Loyalty , and credits support under God to his Majesties gracious Pardon for several humane frailties in the Management : As much as to say , His Majesties Gracious Pardon of several Humane frailties in the conduct of his discovery , were the support of it against the Machinations of such subverters of Truth as the Vindicator . His Pardon for concealing your Treasons , and concurring with your Crew , was a Pardon of another nature , which there was no occasion here to mention : By the way , good Mr. Screw-sence , in your Reply , be sure to tell us what you mean by Little Peccadillo's . To what the Doctor says , That the many encroachments of the Papists upon Princes for these thousand Years , prove their Inclinations for the future . You answer , What will the Encroachments of the Presbyterians prove ? What 's that to you , or what is it to the purpose ? The Encroachments of the Presbyterians are no Excuses of the Encroachments of the Papists . The Presbyterians stick strangely in your Stomach . I find you want Employment . You would fain animate the Protestant Princes against the Presbyterians . 'T is true , we know you could help 'em to a Massacre or two at a short Warning . But at present there is no such occasion . In the mean time , what say you to the Encroachments of the Papists ? That 's your Charge . With much adoe at length you say , That the Rebellions , which you mincingly call the Disorders of the Catholicks , were like Agues in the Spring , neither painful nor dangerous , and leave the Body more healthy than before . So you conclude that the Papists may be Rebels , massacre , murder , play the Devils with two Sticks , 't is all for the health of a Kingdom . So you murder'd Henry the third , and Henry the fourth , for the Health of the Kingdom ? God preserve England from your Papistical Agues . Here 's a Vindicator of the Inglish Catholicks indeed , to support and encourage Treason , while he endeavours to vindicate 'em from it ! The Catholicks have great hopes of your destroying the True Narrative . He is offended that the Dr. Charges the late unnatural War upon the Papists . But 't is very true , for all his Ale and History ; for had not the Papists perpetrated that Inhumane Massacre in Ireland , those other heats of a few violent Spirits had soon been overmaster'd . But when the Papists by that bloody means had conjur'd up the fears and jealousies of the Nation for the common safety , 't was high time to disarm Papists , and put Priests and Jesuits to death . Afterwards , when the Kingdom was all in a Combustion , the Papists flock'd to the King not so much out of Loyalty , as to protect themselves from the Revenge that threaten'd the Crimson Fact they had committed . Then for the service they did the King , it was none at all , but rather an injury ; for they did but weaken and pull down his , as the Huguenots by adhering to Henry the third , advanced and Strengthened the Duke of Guises party , to the destruction of both those unfortunate Monarchs . We could give the Vindicator a cluster of Evidences of the Disloyalty of the Inglish Catholicks to their Native Soveraigns . Particularly , how unlikely a thing it is , that they who would have murthered King Iames in his Cradle , should prove Loyal to his Father ? that they should fight out of Loyalty for the preservation of his Majesties Crown , and the Protestant Cause ? No , no , they hop'd by that Disunion , which they appear'd in only to advance and render more desperate , that there would be no need of Catholick Arms to reduce them to the Romish Church , but that in time they would pave the way to it themselves . But being defeated of their hopes , then they fell to their old way of Plotting , according to the method of the Doctors Narrative . Had the Dr. added , that the Papists were the first Contrivers of the late Wars for the health of the Nation , the Vindicator would have been pleased ; but because he did not , therefore he was displeased : And because he cannot be reveng'd upon the Doctor , therefore he falls pell mell again upon the Presbyterian , asking questions with one side of his Mouth , and answering them with the other . Who did this ? The Presbyterians ; Who did that ? The Presbyterians . Who did the t'other thing ? The Presbyterians . But to retaliate his Kindness , the Vindicator must give us leave to ask a few questions in the same manner . Who massacred the poor innocent Albigenses ? The Papists . Who committed that bloody Butchery in Paris ? The Papists . Who massacred the poor harmless Piedmontors ? The Papists . Who were the Actors of that impious Tragedy in Ireland ? The Papists . Who were the Contrivers of this last horrid Plot ? The Papists . So that the Vindicator does but sharpen his own weapons against his own and the breasts of his own party ; and the dirt of Rebellion still remains as foul as ever upon their own Hypocritical Habits . I will ask the Vindicator but one Question more ; Who they were that brought a Petition to Oliver Cromrel , wherein they promis'd that if He would Tolerate the Popish Religion in England , they would assist him to extirprate the Family of the Stewards ? And whether they were not as like to proffer a thousand Pounds for the discovery of his Majesties Escape after Worcester Fight ? As long as it was the Act of the Papists , 't is no matter for the Mistake of a Name or two . Upon his next Repetition of the following Expression in the Epistle , What Arguments can perswade them to be true to their natural , who profess Allegiance , out of Conscience to a Foreign contrary Soveraign ? He Answers readily , no English Papist doth so . He may well say readily ; for such Answers , indeed , are very readily coyn'd . But I say , Bellarmine , thou lyest : For if the English Papist do not do so , he is no Papist , but a Mungrel . To prove this , he renounces his Religion , and says , That the Pope , out of his temporal Dominions , is no more regarded than the D. of Parma , or the Prince of Monaco . This is another manifest untruth ; For it is the positive Doctrine of the Papists , that by meer Divine Right , the Pope is supream and sole Monarch of the World ; and that all Monarchs and Princes are his Vassals ( which includes his authority in temporals as well as spirituals ) : Insomuch , that the Legat of Pope Adrian told Frederick Barbarossa to his face , That he held his Empire at the pleasure of the Holy Father ; which if they did not believe for Gospel , and that they were not tyed in greater Bonds of allegiance to the Pope , than to their native Princes , they would never so often have revolted and renounc'd their fidelity to their Soveraigns , as they have done upon every trifling Excommunication from the See of Rome . And it would be a ridiculous vanity for the Pope to assume to himself a power of depriving Princes of their Kingdoms , which is a supream authority in temporals , if he thought the people did not believe themselves bound to obey him in temporals as well as spirituals . 'T is the fear of temporal accidents , not the spiritual Fulminations , that has scar'd so many Princes , and brought the Empire of Germany almost to a morsel of Bread. But this same Vindicator and his crew , are such a parcel of obstinate , willful Vermin , that they will believe nothing in the World , either of History or Reason , that makes against them , be it never so certain , never so plain . All the rest of this Chapter is nothing but ribble-rabble , as wide from the purpose , as Dan from Bersheba . Now we are come to the Contradictions and Lyes . CHAP. II. A Discovery in the Address to the Reader . 'T IS very true , here is a prodigious yelping and bawling , a hideous Black Sanctus of Lyes and Contradictions , Contradictions and Lyes , beyond all the yells and dins of Green-Hastings and Mackarel . But now I think on 't , I can tell what 's the matter ; the Jesuits are ringing all their Bells backward to raise the Country upon Dr. Oates : And yet after all this confounded noise , enough to startle all the wild Beasts in a Lybian Forrest , the Vindicator tells us not a word what a Lye or a Contradiction is ; as if that men of sense were such silly Partridges to Cowre under the Lowbells of Jesuitical clamour . These Jesuits are a pack of Knaves that must be look'd after . 'T is a Thousand pound to a Nutshell , but that this deceitful Vindicator may have arraign'd and condemn'd for Lyes and Contradictions , those things which are not so ; and that for Perjury , which deserves no such sentence . And therefore , for the better discovery of the Vindicator's fraud , it will not be amiss to produce the several definitions of Contradictio , Mendacium , and Perjurium , that so the Vindicator's pretended accusations being brought to their several Tests , the juggles of this St. Omers Pamphleteer , may more easily be made apparent . A Lye , then , is that by which a false thing is signified either in word or deed , with an intent to deceive . A Lyar is one that delights to speak a Falsity which he knows to be so ; or a Truth which he believes to be false . On the other side , he is no Lyar who tells a thing that is false , which he verily believes to be true ; he may be said to err , not to tell a Lye. Now in this first Chapter he tells us , the Deponent says , The Narrative was presented to His Majesty the 13th of August last , and sworn upon the Sixth of September . These , like a great Knave ( for 't is fit he should have as good as he brings ) he calls Two Great Lyes ; for as to the first , he says , the Narrative contains things averr'd to have happened upon the 3 , 4 , 6 , 7 , and 8 of September following . And what of all this ? The Narrative was presented privately in August , at what time , and till the Eighth or Ninth of September following , the Deponent remained undiscovered . To the next he answers , That the Dr. and Sir Edmund-bury Godfrey assure it was sworn the Twenty-seventh of September . That is false ; for the date of the Certificate which he carps at , is only the date of Sir Edmund-Bury Godfrey's Certificate , that it was sworn before him , not when it was sworn . But suppose these passages had been both false , where is the intent of deceiving , that made them Lyes ? The intent of deceiving must have lain in the falsity of the Narratives being actually presented , or actually sworn to ; which being really true , the error of a trivial circumstance , is but one of your Little Piccadillo's as you call them . And now Mr. Vindicator , are not you a pitiful , idle , inconsiderate , both Fool and Knave , in a vindication of the English Catholicks from so horrid a crime as they lye under , which should have been weighty and great , so unworthily and Porter-like to give a Gentleman the Lye to posterity , upon such silly , illiterate , pitiful and low-conceited inadvertencies as these ? Give me leave to tell you , Sir , you have hitherto shewed us nothing but the symptoms of your future folly and duncery ; and whereas you are pleased to bespatter the Deponent with such Lackey-like and slovenly Language , Dispeream si tu Pyladi prestare matellam Dignus es , aut porcos pascere Perithoi . CHAP. III. Containing his Informations from Spain . IN this Chapter the Vindicator pretends to tell us of abundance of Lyes : For as yet , I meet with neither Contradictions , nor Perjury . Observe now how he makes them out . He denies that Strange the Provincial , Keines , Langworth , Harcourt and Fenwick did write a Treasonable Letter to Suiman at Madrid , concerning the contriving and plotting a Rebellion in Scotland ; And yet you see there was a Rebellion in Scotland soon after , which makes it shrewdly suspicious , or in plain English altogether credible . But what 's his Reason ? Because there was never any such Letter . How does he prove it ? By the Attestation of Strange himself , the very first person accused of the Plot in the Doctors Narrative . And then again , he says , It never was the practise of the Iesuits , that many should sign their Names with the Provincial . Neither does the Doctor say any such thing ; He says , they wrote the Letter , that is , they were present at the Writing of it , which is the same thing : So that the Attestation of M. K. R. S. C. B. and the rest of his several confederate Iesuits was only a trifle of supererogation . He denies that Morgan , Wright and Ireland were imployed to preach as Presbyterians to the disaffected Scots , &c. How does he know all this ? Because no English Iesuit was ever sent into Scotland . Wright was infirm , and went into England for his health . As if England had not been in his way to Scotland . But he was recall'd shortly after . How long that might be , God knows , considering how the Jesuits are able to stretch such a Whitleather word as shortly . And as for Morgan and Ireland , they never were out of England . Just as he denied his being in London , because he was in the liberties of Westminster . He denies that the Dr. broke up those Letters at Burgos , and read the Contents . His Reason ? — Because he has told ye , there were no such Letters , therefore he could not read the Contents . This is just like their silly pleading at Newgate . In the Third Article he has found a nest of Lyes , no less than Four at a time , denying , That Ashly , Blondel , and the Two Peters ' s sent Twelve Scholars into Spain , Eight to Valladolid , and Four to Madrid , as appear'd by their several Patents , who were obliged by the Iesuits to renounce their Allegiance to His Majesty of Great Britan in the hearing of the Deponent . 1. Because the Students are never sent away by any but the Rector , or Vice-Rector . With the Vindicator's favour , the Jesuits have no such Laws of the Medes and Persians , but which the Rector or the Provincial may dispence with upon occasion : Besides the Rector has his Consultores or Assistants , whom he may employ to act for him . 2. Never any Patent among Iesuits had more than one name . There 's nobody says to the contrary ; If Twelve Scholars have Twelve Patents , what need of more than one Name in a Patent ? 3. Because there is not one word of renunciation in the Oath of those Colledges . Who said there is ? They might renounce their Allegiance to the King , and yet not take the Colledge-Oath . 4. He could not hear a thing done in a place where he never was : but he never was at Madrid ; therefore . But he was at Madrid in spite of your Teeth , Ergo. Nor could the Dr. hear it done at Valladolid ; for the Oath is never tendered to the Novices , till they have past a whole year in that place . You mistake the point , Sir , the Dr. talks not of the Oath , he speaks of the Renunciation , without which , their very admittance would have defil'd the Colledge . He denies , as being Two more Lyes , That Dr. Armstrong brought Letters subscribed by Five Iesuits , in which was expressed that the Iesuits in London intended to dispose of the King. 1. Because those Letters were sign'd by more than the Rector : For which , he brings his former Attestation of Iohn an Okes and Iohn a Stiles . What a strange thing this is ! He will not allow Five men to subscribe their own Letters . 2. Because there never was any such thing contain'd in those Letter , as they protest who wrote them ; As by their Attestations appears . He denies , that Suiman wrote , that the King of England was poyson'd . Upon what ground ? Why , because neither Suiman nor any other person ever heard such news . He denies that Strange , Gray , and Keines wrote in a Letter to Suiman , that they were using all diligence to get the King dispatch'd . 1. Because it is false that ever Strange writ any such Letter ; as appears by his own Attestation . 2. Because it is false that the Dr. was ever at Madrid ; which they prove by Three Attestations of their own drawing . He denies that at the same time , at Madrid , the Deponent ever saw a Letter from Strange , Grey , Keines , Langworth , Fenwick , Ireland and Harcourt , wherein they exprest their sorrow the business was not done , through the faint-heartedness of their man William . 1. Because he was never there . 2. Because it was against the custom of Iesuits , already repeated . But this was upon an extraordinary occasion ; and besides , they were then in a place where they were not tied to observe Customs . 3. Because there never was any such Letter ; as by their own attestations appears . I marry , Sir , here 's the Sparring Argument at last . He denies , That Pedro Hieronymo de Corduba Provincial of New-Castile , sent a Letter by the Deponent to Strange , wherein he promised Ten thousand pound for their pains , if they could get the business dispatch'd . 1. Because P. H. de Corduba was never Provincial of New-Castile . 'T is not a straw matter whither he were or no. 2. Because he left Valladolid upon the 30th of October , and not the Third of November . The Vindicator was hard put to 't to cavil so strictly for a day . 3. Here 's their old friend in a corner , that never fails 'em ; because there was no such Letter , as their own Knight o' the post avers . But besides this , there are Three improbabilities in the case , That the Provincial of Castile should go about to allure the English Iesuits with such a reward , who needed rather a Bridle than Spurs . You are still upon mistakes ; the Money was not to reward the Jesuits , Ten thousand pound was a Fleabite to what they expected ; but to shew there should be no want of Money , should their Chapmen ask too dear . 2. That he who could not dispose of any money out of his Province , should promise them such a sum . By your favour , Sir , but he might , when it was money entrusted in his hands , and left to his disposal upon such and such an accompt . 3. That he should trust the Dr. with such a Letter , whom he had newly cast out of the Colledge . That very thing argues all you have said about the Doctors Expulsion , to be a St. Omers Lye ; which exceed our English Lyes Ten times as much in bigness , as one of your Onions surpasses ours . Thus Gentlemen you have seen what this Nickapoop of scurrilous Vindicator has hitherto called Lyes , and how he has proved them . 'T was not so , because it was not so — 't was not so , because it could not be so — and it could not be so , because they themselves say so — Ergo. — Now I would fain know of you , good Mr. Vindicator , whither if you , and another as bad as your self , should both steal a Horse , and your friend escaping , you should be taken , arraign'd , and the matter of fact prov'd , I say , I would fain know , whether if you , being asked what you had to say for your self , should pretend the Presbyterians stole the Horse ; or if that would not serve , you should protest you knew nothing of the Horses being stolen , till you were Indicted ; and that your confederate , that was with you , should attest it under his hand , that you did not steal the Horse ; Do you believe that these evasions should save you from being hang'd ? 'T is an experiment , I assure you , well worth your coming into England to make tryal of , in regard , that if you escaped upon those excuses , it would very much conduce to strengthen the Arguments of your Vindication ; and therefore take notice , I have made you a fair Invitation ; we have a Colledg ready furnished for your entertainment . CHAP. IV. From the Ninth , to the Tenth Article : Containing what the Doctor Heard and Read at St. Omers . THis is a long Chapter , an Oglio dressed by the same Cook without any variety , wherein as he proceeds according to his former method , the Answers will be the more ready at hand . It is averr'd by no meaner a person than Casaubon , a man of great Learning and unspotted reputation , that a Jesuit in France , with his own mouth , asserted to him , That if Iesus Christ were again upon earth , lyable to death , as he was , and any one should reveal to him as his Confessour , that he had a design to kill him ; before he would reveal that Confession , he would suffer Christ to be murther'd . In the same manner , we may as well believe , that the Vindicator and his trayterous Brood , bred up in the same blasphemous principles , so positive in the denyal and evading such apparent Truths , and so notoriously prov'd in so many publick Courts of National Judicature , would deny the very being and coming into the world of that eternal Deity whose Name and Order they profess , were it for their disadvantage to allow it . The Vindicator's conceit of his strength , and his fond belief that men of reason will believe his Contradictions , because he asserts 'em , and confirms 'em by the attestations of men involv'd in the same guilt , does but help to ruine his Papal Chimera ; and those swarms of Clamours , Contumelies and Calumnies , which he calls Lyes , Contradictions and Perjuries , will in the end sting his Vindication to death . For Vindicators losing their end , like bad Surgeons , by their ill-applied Plaisters , rather inflame and fester , then asswage and heal . And indeed I might well enough conclude , as having shewn the Reader , plainly enough , the proportion of this Hercules , by what his puny Arguments have hitherto been ; but we are forc'd to follow him step by step , as he does the Narrative , and to humour the Fool in his folly , to prevent the Coxcombs crowing upon his own Dunghil of St. Omers . Observe then how this Infidel of Truth proceeds . He denies that Strange , and Nine other Iesuits wrote a Letter to Ashby ▪ that they had an intent to stab the King , &c. 1. Because Strange avers it to be false in Attestation G. 2. Because Nine Iesuits never subscribed with their Provincial . You must have it over and over again . I tell ye , the Customs of Jesuits in Conspiracies and Colledges are different things . Besides , the Doctor himself has sworn , that he both saw and read the Letter , which is much more convincing then your Attestation C. Now for your observation upon the Text ; for I find you are at a loss how to remove this Block out of your way . You say to hear the Dr. speak , a man would think nothing more ordinary in Jesuits Letters , then to write of poysoning , shooting , stabbing and dispatching Kings . Nothing more frequent in their Sermons and Writings , and therefore not so much to be wondered at in their Letters . But you hear , that several of their Letters were perused , and no such thing found in them . You heard with your harvest ears . For though you so easily believe your own Brethren , we are not bound to believe you . He denies That the same Fathers wrote other Letters to de la Chaize , with thanks for his charity , and care of propagating the Catholick Religion ; and that the Deponent carried it to St. Omers , and thence to Paris . And his Reason is , because the Deponents whole journey from St. Omers to Paris was a Lye. As if any man would be such a Fool to tell a Lye which all the World could convince him of . The Vindicator's neater way , would have been to have denied there were any such Towns in the World as St. Omers or Paris , and then he had hit it . He denies That Ashby shew'd the Deponent , at his return from Paris , a Letter to Strange and others in London , shewing , that they had stirred up the Scots to Rebellion , and that Twenty thousand would be in Arms , if France broke with England . He denies that a way was made for the French to Land in Ireland , that the Irish Catholicks were to rise , or that Forty thousand Black Bills were ready for them . 1. Because the Deponent never return'd from Paris , as having never beeen there ; which is verified by Attestation D. 2. Because such a Letter was never written , by the averment of Attestation G. 3. Because no English Iesuit ever dealt with Scotch Presbyterians . 4. Because they never dealt with Irish Papists disposed to Rebel . 5. Because there were no Black Bills prepar'd . 6. Because there was no way made for French landing . How is this prov'd ? Because here are no less then Six Becauses . And Six Becauses , with an Attestation D. and an Attestation G. make an Argument sufficient to confound all the Reason in Europe , were there Ten times more then there is . He denies that by Letters of the 18th of December it was specified that White was made Provincial . Because he was not declar'd so , till the 14th of Ianuary 1678. This is an evasion . He might not be declar'd till the 14th of Ianuary , and yet notice given of his Election before , without any violence done to Madam Probability . He denies that White ordered a Sermon against Otes in the Sodality Church . Why ? Because he had no power before he was declar'd . But what if he took upon him a little more then he needed ? they durst not contradict him . And for the Rectors , they have no such power as he talks of by the publick Rules of the Order . And he denies there was any thing mention'd of Oaths ; because Coniers protests to the contrary , and the Copy shews it ; as if they that Copy , could not leave out what they please . He denies Coniers was ordered to exhort all to stand by their new Provincial , because it was never practised , and then telling us the Sodalitie Church was not a convenient place for such a Sermon , concludes the Deponent to be no such Confident of the Iesuits as he pretends . 'T is not to be question'd but that they wish he had not been . But it seems he was more their Confident then the Vindicator . For he goes only the old Pack-horse-rode ; the Deponent was acquainted with all their new methods , which the conjuncture of new affairs requir'd . Your great men , Friend Vindicator , were moving out of their Sphear , and therefore no wonder if they acted eccentrically . And this answer may serve for your fopperies and strain'd Evasions of the 13 th . Article . Only take notice that Evasions are as bad as lies at any time ; for they do not only include a lye , but endeavour to cloak the lye which the Evader labours to smother . He denies that Blundel was made Ordinary of Newgate . It seems the word Ordinary offends his Worship . Let him choose what title he pleases , 't was an employment of the same nature , which for once he confesses , yet calls it a lye . For he hopes if the Provincial did employ any one in works of charity , order'd him to visit prisoners , to relieve or prepare them for a good end , he was not to be blam'd for it . Very true , but he was to blame to send his agents upon Messages forbidden by the Law , only to debauch the Consciences of men in misery , and out of a covetous interest , to prevent the slipping of any grise by their Mill. He denies it was done by Patent ; call it what you please , Patent or Order , or Commission , it seems it was done ; and that 's sufficient . He denies that the said Blundell ever instructed any Youth in London , or taught them Treasonable Doctrine . Upon what ground ? because 't is false and improbable . How then came the Act of the Parliament of Paris to call 'em Seducers and Corrupters of Youth ? To evade which common practice of theirs , he says the Iesuits might be beg'd for fools , to teach such Doctrine ; he means rank downright Treason , for then they may be hang'd like Knaves for their Labours . But for all his tricks , and shifts , and doubtings , let me tell this Pumpkin of a Vindicator , that the seed and the fruit are very different in shape , and yet the seed sends forth the fruit . From this discourse of so many Letters , he takes an occasion to aim full at the Deponents face , and thinks to give him a mauling rub : You seem ( saith he ) quite through your Fabulous Narrative to represent St. Omers as the center of Iesuits Transactions , when they that know . St Omers , know 't is the worst serv'd with Letters , of any considerable Town in the Low-Countries . Well Gaffer Fabulous , what would you infer from all this ? You infer more than you can answer from what the Deponent has sworn ; but not believing that enough , you would be inferring to the same purpose from what he never said . He does not accuse St. Omers for being the center of all the Jesuits Transactions , nor the Center of the World , nor the Center of Europe , or any Center . But indeed since you put us in mind of it , it seems to have been the Nursery of the Conspiracy . But what 's the meaning of this impertinet Insinuation ? To prove that there were no Treasonable Letters sent to St. Omers , because they are so ill serv'd by the Post. Silly Mortals ! what need had they of the Post , who had such a trusty Messenger as the Deponent . He denies that upon receipt of the above-mentioned Letters , the Treasonable words were spoken by Nevil and Fermor in the Iesuits Library at St. Omers , or that the Deponent heard them . For , saith he , the words were never spoken when the Letters were receiv'd , because there were no such Letters . This , with the Vindicators leave , I take to be direct Nonsense , When the Letters were receiv'd , there were no such Letters . But let it be what it will , he has three Attestations , E. K. Q. to make it out . And lest they should fail , he puts his hand in his Pouch , & pulls out a Contradiction . Here I had thought to have produced the definition of a contradiction . But because this is only a contradiction of the Vindicators own framing , I shall defer that trouble till a better opportunity . He says , the Letters must be written upon Ian. 1 , 2 , but takes the longest time , and then appeals to the Post-master , whether a Letter could come in 24 hours from England to St. Omers . I know not what necessity there was that the Letters should be written upon the first of Ianuary . The Deponent swears no such thing ; but he swears he heard the words spoken upon the third of Ianuary , and tells ye where ; 't is no matter when the Letters were written . And now what think you , Sir ? are not these pretty Fables to trouble the world with ? You might have very well spar'd your Calculation , and your Appeal , unless they had been more to the purpose . But he says the Deponent went on the third of Ianuary in the morning to Watten , and dined there , as appears by the Day-book of the Seminary , and therefore could not be at St. Omers that Afternoon . A worthy Record indeed ! and much for the Honour of St. Omers , when they 're at such a pinch to bring their waste-paper in Evidence ! What low and ridiculous thoughts has this Vindicator of mankind , to think that sense and reason would suffer themselves to be sway'd by the Day-book of the Seminary of St. Omers ? Had the dispute been for no more than half an hours absence , they would have brought the record of the Seminary Day-book to prove the Deponent was gone to the House-of-Office . To the 21 , 22 , 23 , and 24 Articles , he says so very little , that it is just nothing ; so that we are to believe he grants them for truth . And if they be true why not all the rest ? Nay since he has given us an Inch , we 'l take an Ell , and tell the Vindicator to his Teeth they are all true , for this very reason because they are confirm'd by that worthless Oath of the Doctor ( as he most Jesuitically calls it ) which his railing and reviling language has only barkt at , no where been able to penetrate . It is a sentence of the Wise , Calumnia semper opprimit meliora . But on the other side we have this to relieve us : Iustos mores mala non attingit Oratio . And so let us go seek out our Vindicator again . As good fortune will have it , see where he comes , all-to-be-new-recruited with the zealous inspirations of Brandy and Satan , to gratifie his Papistical , blind , and superstitious fury . He denies , That White and other Iesuits writ a Letter on the tenth of March , declaring that the Clergy were a sort of Rascally fellows , that had neither wit nor courage to manage such a great design , meaning the Plot. Here , saith he , the Deponent throws an apple of discord to sow dissention between the Clergy and the Society . To pass by his polite Metaphor , which shews him to be either a great Dunce , or a meer Novitiate , I would fain know cui bono ? What should move the Deponent to do a thing already done to his hands ? 'T is well known what opinion the rest of the Clergy have of the unlimited pride of the Jesuits in general , and their haughty advancement of themselves above their brethren ; so that it was not the Deponents work either to unite or set them together by the ears ; for any man with half an eye may see the Deponents intention , which was only to introduce their contemptible reflections upon the Clergy , as a circumstance to prove how curious they were in their Trayterous Instruments . But this is only a surmise of the Vindicators , and therefore for fear it should not turn to account , he brings his two never failing friends to nick it , that is , his own Averment and Attestation E. Very proper Don Quixot's , and Sancta Pancha's to encounter the Wind-mills of his own erecting . He denies , That the Deponent saw a Letter from White , mentioning that attempts had been made to assassinate the King at several times , by William and Pickering , had opportunity offer'd it self . For missing whereeof , he denies also , that William was chid , and the latter had twenty strokes with a discipline . His reason is , because he says , that no body ever heard of it but by the Deponents Narrative . And then he desires the Deponent to give a reason why White should only chide William that was his Man , and whip Pickering , over whom he had no jurisdiction . By the way William , was not Whites man , but a servant to the whole Society in London , and so was Pickering , being under their Hire , and consequently both equally under the Jurisdiction of White their Provincial Now I appeal to common sense , and the judgment of those who have read or understand the extent of Papistical authority in Penances , whether these lame and miserable shifts be excuses sufficient to vindicate the Conspirators from the intended Assassination of a Monarch ? One would think that Mistris Cellier had been Midwife to the Vindicators Invention , his Vindication is so like the Fables in her Malice defeated . He denies , That there were any Letters from White and others of the fifth of April , that Morgan and Lovel were return'd from Ireland ; who said , 40000 Irish Horse and Foot were ready to rise at ten days warning . He denies also , That the Provincial summon'd a General Consult to be held at London , and that the Deponent was summon'd to assist at it as a Messenger from Father to Father . Now what 's his proof that all this was not so ? Why because he says , there is not one word of truth in all the Article , except the calling of the Congregation . And then for the 40000 men , they were never any where but in the Deponents Addlehead , and Lying Narrative . Here 's a Vindicator for ye now ! tell me where ever was such another in the world ! One that carries Gunpowder in his mouth , sets fire to his tongue , and with one puff of a denial blows ye an accusation , be it as ponderous as all Stonehenge , into a perfect annihilation . Caitiffs of Newgate , be of good comfort , from henceforth defie Justice and the Gallows , bid the men of St. Pulchers melt down their useless humming Passing-Bell , and put the money in their Pockets . For now let your crimes be what they will , never so plainly prov'd by Oaths and Testimony , 't is but saying the Deponents are Addle-heads , and their Testimonies , Lying Narratives , and you shall be forthwith set at liberty without fees . This wonder-working Operator lives at the Seminary of English Jesuits in St. Omers . He instructs the rich at moderate rates , the poor for nothing ; he is to be spoken with from eight in the morning till twelve at noon ; and from two in the afternoon till six at night . Vivat Diabolus . CHAP. V. Of the Congregation . THE Business of the Congregation takes up a whole Chapter ; 't was an ugly Business , my Lord , and begat a world of hanging-evidence , and therefore must be deny'd stoutly . But before he begins , he premises , That the truth of the particular concerning the Congregation , shall be attested by all that were there , who are still alive . No , they are not , there are some of 'em hang'd . But what need of this advertisement ? we question not the readiness of them that are living , and of hundreds more in the place of them that are wanting , to swear all that , and ten times more , upon such an unavoidable occasion as this . There is nothing safe either in this or the two other worlds from the denials of the Jesuits . They deny there is a God by their actions and Doctrine ; and should ye affirm there is a Devil , because he is the father of Lyes , they would deny that easily , as being the fathers of Lyes themselves . Upon Earth you see what the Vindicator has deny'd already , and you shall see what he still denies . He denies that upon the 24 th of April 1678 , stil , nov . Warren , Sir Tho. Preston , Marsh , Williams , Sir Iohn Warner , Sir Robert Brett , Pool , Nevil , in all with the Deponent about nine , went from St. Omers towards London . For , 1. The Rector of Liege was not of the number . 2. Sir Tho. Preston never stir'd all the while from Liege . 3. Sir Iohn Warren remain'd at Watten . 4. Sir Robert Brett , Pool , Nevil , and the Deponent remain'd at St. Omers . And to prove this , he bids you see Attestations , I , H , F , D , and E. 'T is very well , — briskly done , — well go on — He denies , That these met in a consult in London with Fenwick , Blondel and Gray , and others , to the number of fifty Iesuits , at the White-horse - Tavern in the Strand . For why ? neither Fenwick , Blundel , nor Gray were there . 2. There were only fifty . 3. They never met at the White-horse-Tavern , as they are ready to swear , and protested to the Vindicator , they did not know of any such Tavern in the Strand , till the Deponent inform'd them of it . It may be not , because he was to give them notice of the Place . He should have done well to have told us where they did meet ; and then the truth might have been easily found out . The Deponent swears he was at the Consult held in May , to attend the Consulters , and deliver'd their concerns from company to company . To this the Vindicator says nothing but what was said by the Jesuits at their Trials , where their Defences made 'em ridiculous . He denies , That after they left the White-horse - Tavern , they divided into several Companies , as being against the nature of a Congregation . You still forget , Mr. Vindicator , that this was no Congregation according to the Statutes of the Society , but such a Consultation as Catiline held at Rome for the subversion of his Country . And it is the nature of such Consults to be kept on foot by private Committees , for the better carrying on the design . Lastly , whereas the Deponent swears , That within 3 or 4 days after , he return'd to St. Omers with the Fathers that came from the other side of the Water . He absolutely denies there was any such thing . And these are the Lyes which he pretends to be sworn to in the Narrative in reference to the Consult at the White-horse-Tavern . And now Mr. Vindicator , give me leave to tell ye , you may be Canoniz'd for a Fool , but never for a Saint ; for you have spoil'd your Cause in this very Chapter . I expected that here you should have shewn all your Wit and Rhetorick , the cream of your Eloquence , that you should have strewed the whole Chapter with your Flowers , your Metaphors , and your Sorites ; that you would have gor'd us with your forked Dilemma's ; that you would have displayed all your Hocus Pocus tricks , all your doublings and shiftings ; that you would have shewed us your Wards and Traverses , and all your Fencing dexterity ; but never was Tiptoe-expectation so deceiv'd : here is not so much as one gentile piece of Sophistry ; nay , he must be a good Chymist that can extract so much as one poor dram of common sense out of all his elaborate undertaking , but you lye , and 't is false : terms of Art which I find in no sort of Logick , but that of St. Omers . He that pretends to such good Intelligence , could not choose but know , how these very objections had been canvassed , how the defences of his Martyrs were exploded , how the testimonies of his St. Omers striplings , sent of Fools errands , to swear in verba Magistri , were baffl'd ; and therefore in his topping Vindication to raise nothing new , but to say less then they then said for themselves , less then what had already been promulgated by others , was but only a lazy Epitome of the Compendium , and shewed the Vindicators Brains were dryer then Bricks ; for they will yield a useful Oyl ; his Brains will afford nothing but a putrid matter , which might have been as well blown out of his Nose , as seaton'd out upon the Muckinder of a nonsensical Vindication . CHAP. VI. What happen'd after his return to St. Omers , till he left that place . GEntlemen , you may be sure of Romances in this Chapter by the form of the Contents . Says he , the Deponent swears that Tho. White came to St. Omers upon the Tenth of Iune 1678 , and on the Eleventh spoke treasonable words against the King and Duke in the presence of Richard Ashby . And further , That White told Ashby , a Minister had endeavour'd to render Iesuits odious , by Englishing their Morals , and the Provincial sent the Deponent into England to kill the Translator , which the Deponent undertakes to do , having 50 l. reward promised him by the said Provincial , and then that the Provincial and the Society in London would procure the death of Dr. Stilling-fleet . What says the Vindicator to all this ? Why , he says the Deponent Lyes ; and the White 's dying Speech , and his Attestation before his death , justifie that the Depositions are false . He forgot to quote the Martyrs Kinsman , Mr. Iennison's Attestations too , and then like Iael , he had Nail'd the Drs. Depositions to the Ground . The Deponent swears , That Ashby told him that the Rector of Leige , when he was Procurator at Paris , did reconcile the Lord Chancellor Hyde upon his death-bed . This the Vindicator says is false ; For the Rector of Liege has declar'd the contrary , and that he never saw the Lord Chancellor in his life . Then it seems it was Ashby the Jesuit that ly'd , and not the Doctor . He denies That on the 23d of June the Deponent was sent for England to attend the motions of the Fathers in London , with 4 l. for his charge , and a promise of 80 l. for his services in Spain and elsewhere . These things the Vindicator denies stifly , as being circumstances of great moment ; Nay , if you 'l let him hold stakes himself , he 'l lay ye a wager of a Hundred to One upon his own side . And the reason of this confidence is this , that there is a Papistical necessity i' the case , that the thing must be so . In the foregoing Fourth Chapter there was a necessity that the Deponent should be under Lock and Key at St. Omers , from the 10th of December stilo novo , till the 23d of Iune ; and therefore they swear , and attest , and damn themselves it was so . Now it is not convenient for the Deponent to be at St. Omers ; now they swear he was never admitted , and only a while there upon ance . He would infer , the Deponent could not be sent the 23d of Iune to attend the motions of the Fathers , because , he says , he was ordered Ten days before to go for England to kill the Translator of the Jesuits Morals . As if a man might not be sent into England upon Two Errands ; or that the Fathers would have been so rigid to have check'd the Deponent for non-attendance , when they knew how well he was employing his time . The killing of the Translator of the Morals , and the attending the motion of the Fathers , were no such distinct employments , but that they might be both conferr'd upon the Deponent together . Neither is there any such desperate flaw in the depositions , but a very great probability that the Deponent might be promised 50 l. for the Murder , and 80 l. for his services in Spain . But here the Vindicator has ye again , and denies the Deponent ever did any services to the Jesuits in Spain , unless it were in exercising their patience by his unsufferable manners . What those were , the Lord knows , for he gives us no account of them . And yet if the Vindicator could have spar'd us any Instances , we cannot believe but he would have been very ample in his Relations . We cannot imagine this concealment of an Enemy so outrageously imbitter'd , Orco implacabilior , as the effect of his favour . And therefore for want of other Argument , he is dropt into such a nonsensical story of a Roasted Horse , much like the Tale of St. Francis's Wife of Snow , that you would think him sitting in some old Chimney-Corner , canopied with a Bacon-flitch , and lulling the credulous ears of the old woman of the House for the benevolence of a Rasher . Never did the Island of Dreams produce a more empty piece of vanity ; by means whereof , this Nug●poly-loquides would endeavour to prove that the Deponent was never admitted , but contemptible , rejected , and did what he did out of revenge . He says , That when that good man , White , as he calls him , but as we with an alias character him , that Traytorly Jesuit , was made Provincial , then the Deponent made his Addresses , &c. Let him say what he pleases , they have confessed the Dr. to have been receiv'd into the Colledge a Month before they will allow White for Provincial ; and one of their attestations confirm it : They swear and vow he stay'd there above half a year afterwards , and stirr'd not out but twice all that while . No sign of his being so extreamly notorious for his bad life and conversation . And yet when this bears too hard upon the Vindicator , here must be a Fable form'd , how his admission was deny'd above a month after he was admitted , and how he was dismissed , and yet kept close in the House . The Vindicator should have told us the date of his dismission , and for what particular crime ; but that he carefully conceals . Where are his Attestations A. B. C. and I know not what flim-flams for that ? But he was admitted and not admitted , dismissed and kept ; and then he swore , he would be reveng'd . A very probable Tale , that he should be so plain with such a sort of people , when fast in their clutches , whose ways of preventing his fury , he so well understood . And then he said , he must be a Iesuit or a Iudas ; if he were not a Iesuit he should be damn'd . Truly 't was ill done of the Provincial , not to use his charitable endeavours to prevent a young man from Two such dangerous precipices . But that the Reader may be no longer in the dark , we 'l tell him when the Doctor was dismiss'd ; He was dismiss'd when upon some glimmering of the Discovery , that Good Man the Provincial struck him with his Cane , and gave him a Box o' th' Ear in his Chamber at London . A very rude way of dismission indeed , and a very great affront , as the Vindicator call'd it . So that we agree about the manner , but not as to the Time. After that , the Doctor dismissed himself , by running down Stairs out of the Provincials Lodgings , having over heard what a severe chastisement they were preparing for him , if they could but Trapan him again to St. Omers . Truly , if the rest of the Jesuites of St. Omers were no better then those that were Hang'd , or the Vindicator , hardly worth that , I see no prevailing reason any man had to be so greedily covetous of their Society . Nor do I believe the Doctor cared a Straw for their Company , but only for the advantage of watching their contrivances , and disclosing the Conspiracies they were then brewing for the destruction of his Prince and Country . CHAP. VII . What he Relates since his return to London , concerning Iesuits , from the 33 to the 53 Article . THe Narrative declares , That in Iuly Ashby came to Town to dispose of the 10000 l. procured by La Chaise , and that he should Treat with Sir Geo. Wakeman to Poyson the King , as also to procure the Assassination of the Bishop of Hereford . To this the Vindicator replies , That Ashby before his Death declared all this to be false , as the Iesuits of St. Omers themselves attest . And all this he clinches too with a How is it probable , that had there been any such thing , Ashby should communicate it to one who had by him been so disgracefully dismist by the Provincials Order , &c. This is another Dismission which we never heard of before ; so that he may sheath his How is it probable again , as being a very blunt piece of business . The 34 Article , the Vindicator sayes , Is all false , and that there is not one word of Truth in it , upon the credit of Attestation G. To the 35 he says , Ashby and Blundel both protested it was false . To the 36 he sayes the same upon Ashbys ▪ single Protestation . Thus you see what an Esteem one Traytor has for another , and how warily they credit each other . Like the Story of the Caldron and the Cabbage . As if the Vindicator and the rest of his Bloody Gang , had made a Compact together , to this purpose , Do you make a Vindication , Deny , Lye , Defie , Decry , and what ever you assert , we 'l all Swear to . Now Gentlemen , that you are to Believe what they attest , I prove thus . The Legend of St. Germain says , That that Saint rais'd up a dead Ass to life again . The Legend of that Saint is to be believ'd , Ergo , You must believe the Vindicator and his Attestators . In the 38 Article the Doctor deposes , That White wrote to London to Fenwick , that he had ordered twelve Iesuits to go for Holland , to inform the Dutch , that the Prince of Orange intended to make himself King , but they got no farther then Watten , by reason of some mischance , which Letter the Deponent saw . This the Vindicator sayes , with more then ordinary Choller , is a Lye malitious and ridiculous ; malitious , in charging such an odious business upon the Jesuits . Not so malitious neither , History has charg'd the Jesuites with far greater Crimes committed in Holland then this . No less then the Murther of William of Orange , and the same as fairly intended Maurice Nassau , both perpetrated by persons instigated , encourag'd , embolden'd , hired , paid and Missionated by the Provincial and Rector of Doway , and other Jesuites , as Thuanus , whom the Vindicator , if he dares , may deny for a good Testimony , more at large relates . A Ridiculous , in supposing that the English Jesuites have either credit or acquaintance with the States of Holland . The Fool will turn Changling before the end of his Vindication . As if we thought the Jesuites had no more wit than to appear in Holland in all their formalities . No , no , they have their shapes and their disguises , and if they want credit or acquaintance , they want neither Money nor Insinuation to procure both , unless they be all such Dunces as the Vindicator . He I confess is no great man of Language , he 'l tell ye ye Lie , and 't is False , — And fearing that neither his Malitious , nor his Ridiculous would serve his turn , in his own natural Delivery , he affirms , The Iesuites never had any such design , and that no Iesuit or Iesuits were sent about it . All which we find him endeavouring to prove thus , for it is sometimes requisite to let you see the quint Essence of his Arguments . Six Jesuites could not be spared out of the Seminary of St. Omers upon such a Design . Ergo. Not Twelve out of the whole Province . Again . They that stopt at Watten , could not be sent to Holland ; for had they been sent , they had gone . Ergo. They were not sent , because they did not go . To the 39 Article he answers , That Blundel protested he never heard of any such Letter , and so refers ye to Attestation E. In the 41 Article the Doctor deposes , That Fenwick told him that the Jesuits had 60000 l. per Annum , and 100000 l. in Bank , and that he lent out money at 50 per Cent. This he denies , and wonders how it should be true . But it is a Proverh fix'd upon the Jesuits , Quod Vultur est Milvo , id Iesuita est Monacho . So that it is no wonder that the most Covetous , Proling , Scraping , Racking , Cozening , Cheating , purloyning Order in the World , should have 60000 l. per Annum , and a hundred Thousand pound in Banck . The Vindicator little understood what belongs to sums beyond his own Seminary Exhibition ; and Fenwick was a ●illy Jesuit-Broaker . There be those who have better calculated the Jesuits Incomes , that could have informed the Vindicator that their Revenues above 20 years ago , amounted to two Millions of Crowns in Gold yearly , which is above 500000 l , per Annum , a sum far greater then what the Vindicator admires at . And there is no question to be made , but that they who were contriving the ruin of Princes and whole Nations , had some of their bulky Banck disposed of near the Scene of their Expences requisite for such a design . And for the Jesuits Consciences , we leave them to their Brethren the Jews to take measure of them by their own . The 42 Article deposes , that Harcourt , Fennick , Keynes , and another of the Society , declar'd their intentions to raise a commotion in the Kingdom of England , and Dominion of Wales , which appear'd also by several Letters shewed the Deponent . This the Vindicator calls a Lye without any signe of Truth , and would have any one of these Letters produced . What would it have signified ? For the Vindicator would have brought somebody to protest there were no such Letters written , Produce their Letters , and either they make their Equivocating Comments upon them , or else deny their own hands , which has not sav'd their Necks for all that . That 's such a Flim Flam Story , for a Sancha Pancha of a Vindicator , to bid us produce Letters , when he himself has undertaken to venture his Soul , and all the pains of Hell and Purgatory to confound what ever can be produc'd , which bare denials and attestations out of the Clouds , and that with such a daring and audacious Impudence , as if Truth were only confin'd to that foul skulking hole of Iniquity and Treason at St. Omers . And then with a plausible Insinuation , They that all our modern Histories have Character'd for the grand Incendaries of the World , They that are Chronicl'd for their Murders and Massacres , and their inflaming all the Kingdoms of Europe , and disturbing the repose of Church and State over all Christendom . They shall come to a pitiful , idle , nonsensical Vindicator , and bid him cry to the Deponent for deposing the Truth , and detecting their hateful Conspiracies , What a Commotion you have rais'd in England , all the World may see . Yes , and all the World ( no question ) by the vanity of this Vindicators attempt , by the sordidness of his Defence , do plainly see who were the Original cause of all this Commotion ; not the Deponent ; for the Enterprize , had it not been Truth , would have sunk such a mean and despicable Slanderer as he . But those aspiring , topping Sons of Perdition , whose wicked Principles oblige them to lay , ( if they can bring it to pass ) all the Princes and States of Europe at the feet of a Leud and Prophane Antichrist . To the 43 Article , That no Messengers were sent by the Names of Moor and Sanders , with instructions to carry themselves like Nonconformist Scots , &c. He says little , but seems to be in an Extasie , and wonders whom the Deponent means , for he never could hear of any Jesuit of those Names . A very likely thing indeed , that never any English Jesuit ( at any time ) bore the common Names of Moor , Sanders , and Brown , so vulgar almost in every Society of Ten. But what needs all this Amazement ? No body says they were Jesuits , nor sent as Jesuits , but as Messengers or Emissaries , any thing but Jesuits . And thus you see what is the main thing impos'd upon the Vindicator to do ; he is to deny right or wrong ; at which his fidelity is so nimble , that rather then not deny , he will deny what was never averr'd . You shall see , when he finds that his Vindication has done more harm than good , He will deny there was ever any such thing written , or ever seen in the World. To the 44. That the Iesuites communicate the secret Counsels of the King , which they purchase with their money , to La Chaise the French Kings Confessor , &c. He sayes positively , all this is false , and to make it out , tells ye , There was no need of purchasing Intelligences while the Coffee-houses stood . He would make us believe the Jesuits were the arrantest Ideots in Nature , as if we thought that Coffee-house Intelligence were the purchase which they Fish'd for with their Silver-hooks . No , no , 't was they themselves , who then , and still do , make those Coffee-houses he prates of , the Nurseries of Rebellion , by their own Emisaries , daily employ'd , to divulge their Lies and Forgeries , Et ambiguas in vulgum spargere voces , on purpose to cast a mist before the Eyes of the people , and gather strength to renew their disappointed Villanies : So that his Coffee-house Inference is nothing but a meer Smoak . The 46 Article deposes , That the Letters from St. Omers expressed great joy , that Sir G. W. had undertaken the business . To which he Replies , it is false , that ever Sir G. W. undertook the business ; for why ? it appears so by the publick Verdict of the Jury at his Tryal . An Argument of the Vindicators own Framing against himself ; for by the same inference it is apparent , that all that was Sworn against the rest that were Hang'd , was true , because the Publick Verdict of the Jury found 'em Guilty . See how these fellows glory in one Acquittal , and yet it is a thing frequently observ'd , That many times the greatest Fellons escape , when lesser Criminals are Condemn'd . By which the whole Nation may see of what a dangerous consequence it is to shew the least grain of Mercy to the Unmerciful . And yet the Argument is not so potent neither , when we consider how much men of Reason are dissatisfied with that Acquittal , and how the Papists laugh in their Sleeves , and sing Jubilate , not so much for the escape of the Person , as the success of their underhand dealing . The rest of the Chapter is so Ridiculous , that I pass it over , as being unwilling to tire the Reader with Impertinencies that may be avoided . CHAP. VIII . VVhat he Relates of the Iesuites and others inclusively from the 54 to the 81 Article . ART . 55. Mr. Jennison said , That if the King did not become R. C. he should not be long C. R. This the Vindicator calls a groundless Lye ; but says withal , if any such thing were said , It was because of the Presbyterians , and not of the Papists . So then , the Question is not so much , Whether Mr. Ienison spoke the words , but whither he spoke them of the Presbyterians or the Papists ? If he spoke them of the Presbyterians , they were true : If of the Papists , they were false . What an open piece of Impudence this is , to Arraign a whole Deposition for a groundless Lye ; and yet with the same Breath to confess they might be spoke ? If he has not been soundly Pickering'd already for this mistake , he notoriously deserves it . Article 57. Fenwick told the Deponent , that he had Writ that the King was gone to Windsor , and that honest William and the Fathers were ready to attend the Court. To this he says , the first part might probably be true , but the latter part is false ; as also , that Fenwick told him of the Contents of the Letter . How then came the Deponent to know of the Information given of the Kings going to Windsor ? 'T is plain he knew it , and he Swears Fenwick told him , and you Mr. Vindicator must produce some other Intelligencer , or else your Vindication will hang o' the Hedge . Article 58. Keines Preach'd a Treasonable Sermon to Twelve persons of Quality , That Protestant Princes were ipso facto Deposed . Nothing more confirms the Truth of the thing , then the Subject of the Sermon . But this he calls a Train to blow up any man that the Deponent should mark out for Destruction . How common a thing it is among the Jesuits , to lay Trains against , not only the Reputations , but the Lives of Great Men , they themselves sufficiently know ; and to requite that knowledge of theirs , we know as well how hard a Task it is here for the Deponent to pick and choose the Subjects of his Accusation considering before what Judges he must appear . The Vindicator should have done well to have come into England , and liv'd half a year or so at Newgate before he began his great work , they would have taught him far better pleading then this : And yet he has the Effronterie to pretend from hence great inconveniencies , if Perjury continue Paramount , and Knaves be rewarded . Never did Mortal speak more like a Knave then this Vindicator ; for the Deposition only supposes they were men of Quality , and yet he grounds a Perjury upon it . See how cursedly this great Atlas of the Catholick cause crickles at the hamms . A voice I hear , but nothing do I see , speak who thou art , that we may return thee thanks for thy Learned Paraphrases . Article 59. Keines advis'd a Gentleman in or about Westminster , to remove thence , least God should destroy him with the Sinners of that City . Well! what doth the Vindicator say to this ? why — That Keines protested he never said any such thing ; and any man that knows both , will take his word , before the Deponents Oath . And I would advise Keines rather to croud among the Dominicans , under the Virgin Maries Petticoat , then come hither to try the Experiment . Article 60. Keines said it was endeavoured to dispatch 48 at Wiudsor ; that Corker and the Benedictines had promised 6000 l. that two of them own'd it , and that their business was to remove the Stuarts out of the way : and that Coniers laid a wager , that the King should not live to eat any more Chrismas Pies , &c. This the Vindicator calls Poetry , as being one of the Tragical Order himself . But whatever is the matter , here 's neither ye Lye , nor Attestation G : surely the man forgot himself , or else these two great Cronies of his were tir'd and gone to sleep . Only he throws himself upon Corkers acquittal : a very slight Bladder to Swim with in such an intended Sea of Blood. For though Corker were acquitted , it was for want of double Evidence which the Law required : Not that the Court believ'd him Innocent ; and therefore they gave new orders to Detain him , which was but sour Sawce to the sweet Morsels of his acquittal . Truly this Article , great Man of might , requir'd a more Garagantua like Vindication . You should have rous'd all your ye lyes , and 't is falses , and now he lyes under Conviction and embodied all your Attestations to have given Battle to this Article : and if you could have got all St. Malo's Dogs to have help'd ye , all had been little enough . Article 61. Keines took the Deponent to an Assembly of the Dominicans , where six were met in the name of the rest , with their Provincial , to comply with the fathers of the Society . There also met five Iesuits . Keines demanded of the Dominicans money to carry on the business of Killing the King : The Dominicans answered , They were poor , but would give their assistance and Counsel . Hence the Deponent was sent with the Proposals to the Carmelites , who answered , Their prayers to God and the Blessed Lady should not be wanting , and that was all they could give . What says the Vindicator to all this ? why , since you needs must have it , He says , All those that know the Emulations that have been , and still are , between the Dominicans and the Jesuits , will scarce believe those would meet to comply with these . Oh! Mr. Vindicator , you are ill read in History : Herod and Pilate could well agree to remove the King of the Iews . Though the Dominicans and Iesuits jangle about the Conception of the Virgin , they may agree for all that , about the Conception of a Plot. Nay , the Pope himself could reconcile himself to the Turk , and call him into the bowels of Italy to help him at a dead lift . You are a whole Dutch League too short of a Vindication yet . Art. 62. Blundel said his Workmen wanted Oyle , which the Deponent supposed to be Sheeps Fat. Coniers said , the Hill people were fools to set upon 48 at Windsor , but he would speak to his Worship in other Language then in Tormentillo , but that if his Shirt on his back should know how , he would burn it . All this the Vindicator denies , and sends ye to Attestation S , as the Dice in the Dutch Fortune-book send ye to the Philosopher Pythagoras . Art. 64. That Fogarthy is a main Agent in this Hellish plot . That he told the Deponent he was present when Sir G. W. was contracted with ; and that he had hir'd four Ruffians to mind the Kings Postures at Windsor . To this he says , the first is a Lye , the second is a Lye , and the third is a Lye. Most Serene and Polite Vindicator , we greet thee Well . Cicero himself could have said no more . From whence I argue thus . He that tells another man he Lyes three times , has the better of the Dispute . The Vindicator tells the Deponent he Lyes three times , Ergo , The Vindicator has the better of the Dispute . Now to turn the Argument , The Vindicator tells me , the Pope is not Antichrist . I tell the Vindicator he Lyes three times . Ergo. The Pope must be Antichrist . And so there 's a Rowland for his Oliver . Having thus done with the Quintescence of his Ingenuity , we shall come to the drossy part of his Wit , which lies in his Reflections . By which , if he knew how , he would fain insinuate strange Chimera's into the peoples Heads , as Bufalmacco in Boccace frighted his Master with Dor-flies , and bits of lighted Wax-candles . And to this purpose he terrifies ye with the Inconvenience of Blank Accusations . For , says he , the Deposition concerning four Ruffians , was filled up by Jenisons naming four Innocent persons to get a false Witnesses Reward to pay his Debts , and supply his want of money . There 's now for Mr. Ienison , I think he had better have held his Tongue . The Vindicator finds another substantial Evidence come in to confirm the Narrative , and therefore he must be bespaul'd with his Jesuitical drivel . But those Innocent persons never came in to justifie themselves , and in regard the Law of the Land supposes them guilty that fly for it , it is not for his Pie-Powder-Court at St. Omers , to determine who are guilty , and who are Innocent in England ; or to dive into the reasons of other mens Loyalty ; as if none but the necessitous could be Loyal , and none but Fugitives Innocent : Or as if the Justice of England accus'd or condemn'd any man to please the Kings Evidence ; or that the Kings Evidence were so dear to him , that he would sacrifice his Justice to their private Interest . Brain of a Taylor you are too sawcy . He goes on , No man can be secure in the way of a Mad-Dog , or an Impudent lying Witness , such as your Mungrel Attestators , as long as the Clamours of the Rabble are so loud , that neither Iustice or Reason can be heard . He 's mistaken , Reason and Justice have both in a good measure been so well satisfyed , that I dare say , they will never appeal to St. Omers for the redress of their Grievances . By the way , Gentlemen , you are to consider whom this Brain of a Taylor calls the Rabble : none but the Lords and Commons of England , you your selves , and the whole Body of the Nation . Those , says he , were wisest that embraced a voluntary Exile . He is mistaken again , they are no voluntary Exiles , they were Banished by the Law of the Land , and were but intruders into the Kings Dominions . They were the Pest of the Nation , that escaped the provision of divers wholesome Statutes , like old cunning Vermine , Let them that stay behind , look to themselves as well as they can . You speak like an Oracle ; let 'em Fee their Counsellor , and take his advice . Article 65. That the Deponent at Madrid , had seen the Lord Embassador , Sir William Godolphin at Mass , and was perfectly inform'd by the Arch-Bishop of Tuam , that the Embassador held great correspondence with the Arch-Bishop , and that a Iesuite had read to him Philosophy and Divinity . That Suiman a Iesuite , in a Letter to the Deponent the 30th of July Newstile , did specifie , that Sir William was as industrious as any man could be , to answer the expectation of the Society . Here , says the Vindicator , are as many Lyes as Periods . For , 1 st , 'T is False . 2 ly , 'T is False . 3 ly , 'T is False . 4 ly , 'T is False . 5 ly , 'T is False . 6 ly , 'T is False . This puts me in mind of a Scene in Ben. Iohnson's Alchymist , where Face and Suttle undertake to teach Kastril to Quarrel . The Jesuites I liken to Face and Suttle , the Vindicator to Kastril . Face and Suttle teach Kastril their Art , Kastril well instructed , takes a peek at the Doctor . Now Kastril , come — shew your parts , — 'T is False , — ye Lye , quo he — How ! Child of Wrath and Anger , the loud Lye ! why so sodain , say we . Nay , look you to that , I am aforehand , quo Kastril . Talk to him of the Arch-Bishop of Tuam , you Lye quo Kastril ; talk to him of a Letter from Suiman , you Lye cryes Kastril . Nay , say Face and Suttle , if you don't quarrel him out of the world , you do nothing . Presently Kastril , you Deponent , if you wont get ye out of the world , ye Lye. This is just the Vindicators chollerick method of Proceeding , the Battoons of his Rhetorick , with which he thinks to Cudgel us out of our Senses , and the Doctor out of his Reputation . But what said the Curtesan Thais of that same Swash-Buckler Thraso in Terences Eunuchi ? — ne metuas , Sane , quod tibi nunc vir videatur esse , hic Nebula magna est . A meer Fizzle-Sucker , that thinks to blow up Solemn Oaths and Depositions with the windly Eructations of Scurrility and foul Language . Language that issues from his Mouth with a steam as putrid as the Exhalations of the Tyrant Gelo's Breath . Language so undecent , so unbecomming any person that pretends to so much Learning as to put Pen to Paper , that it cannot be imagin'd that any man but of common Education , of indifferent Breeding , or but ordinary Generosity , which abominate scurrility and rudeness in conversation , will harbour the least belief of such a nasty and slovenly Writer . For as there are some certain Ragamuffins that deserve to be Kick'd out of all Society ; so there are some books to be Kick'd out of all Credit , and among the rest , none more deservedly then this same fardel of impertinent Ruffianisme . He challenges the Deponent , to produce the Letter of the 30th of Iuly from Suiman , which he might have done , because directed to himself . What a delusion would he here put upon the People ? He knows that Letters of this Nature being once read by those to whom they are directed , to their Superithey are by them taken away , and laid up among their Archiva , and yet he ors , challenges the Deponent to produce what he knows to be out of his reach . It seems it was not so convenient for him to be now so punctual in declaring the Customes of the Iesuits , as upon other occasious , which made him omit this . If , says he , the Arch-Bishop of Tuam , or the Iesuit , being Subjects of the King , waited on his Majesties Embassador , they did but their Duty . They were under no such obligation , being no Subjects of the King , in regard they deny him that Allegiance and Supremacy which the Law of the Land requires to make them so . King and Subject are the Termini Relativi , Duty and Protection are the Relations between those Termes : No Duty , no Subject : no King , no Protection . And thus it may be said , that no English Roman Catholick is a Subject to the King. They live under his Moral Protection , as Travellers and Forraign Traders , not under his Relative Protection , as Subjects . But the Jesuites are so far from being no Subjects , that they are Traytors proscrib'd by the Law ; and therefore for an Embassador to correspond with such , I suppose is a Priviledge which no Prince or State in Christendom allows their Forraign Ministers . Now you shall see how the Vindicator strives to dis-intangle himself . He sayes , 'T is absolutely false , that their past any intimate correspondence , chiefly in Publick concerns : That is to say , 't is absolutely false , and it is not absolutely false . The Affirmative was singular , and therefore the Negative should have been Universal . In the Name of St. Dominic , what did you mean to meddle with that word Chiefly for ? Oh , cry ye Mercy , 't was to shew your parts , and to let us see , that you could tell a Man he ly'd , and yet confess 't was true what he said , both at the same time . To the 67 Article he only gives six Lyes , sends ye to three or four of his Paltry Attestations , and says no more . So that six being twice three , by vertue of an Argument already drawn from his own Topicks , if we tell him he Lies six times , the Article is true , and we are even with him . To the 69 Article , he answers , that Blundel the Traytor protested he knew nothing of the business . And then , says he , It seems the 22. of August was well employ'd , for though the Deponent had neither eat nor drank , nor stopp'd all the day , He went to such a place , and such a place , and such a place ; met with such a one , and such a one , and such a one ; heard this Discourse , and that Discourse ; saw these Letters and t'other Letters , and what then ? why it could not be , unless the day had bin as long as that in which Joshua fought against the Philistines ; or that himself had been as busie as Menechmus seeking his Brother . Who says there 's no Wit stiring at St. Omers ? Here are a brace of Similes , the one out of the Bible , the other out of Plautus's Menaechmei ; excellently well-match'd , like a black and white Coach-Horse both at one Pole , and as much to the purpose as his comparison of Lucians True History . However , you see by this he had read three Books , Lucian , Ioshua , and Plautus . Now , what 's the use of these two Biblio-Plautinian Hyperboles ? To prove that a man must be Perjur'd , because he went Twelve hours without eating or drinking . What a Perjur'd fellow was St. Marin of R●mini to fast six whole days together ; and Batthaeus the Hermite to macerate himself so long without eating or drinking , till the Worms bred in his Teeth ? What a Perjur'd Knave was St. Dominie , to dispatch as many Penances in six days , as serv'd for a hundred years ? I think he was much more busie for the time , then the Deponent or Menaechmus either . What a Perjur'd Villain was St. Francis to fast 40 days together in honor of St. Michael ▪ There 's ne're a poor Souldier in a Campaigne that marches Twelve hours without sustenance , but must be Perjur'd . Not a man in the world that dispatches more business in a day , then the Vindicator would have him , but must be perjured . Certainly this is some Stylite newly crept out of a hollow Pillar , that talks so ridiculously of the affairs of the world . Mr. Asinego , if you want Fables , go and Read your own Legends , the Narrative I find is above your fathoming . Article 70. On the 24 ●h of August , Blundel told the Deponent , That the Catholicks would shorten the Kings days ; and that the Protestant Religion stood on its last Leggs . Here we have gain'd one point at length : For saith he , Had this been produc'd at the beginning , it might have been tollerable , but to bring it where it stands , was senceless . If it were true at the beginning , it is true where it is . Truth is confin'd to no place , and therefore we shall take no care to remove it , if you have no better Reason . Oh! but he has a Reason : For that after the Deponent had produc'd the Dominicans and Carmelites dissenting from the Business , he now says All Catholicks . He does not say the Dominicans and Carmelites dissented ; he Swears that both pleaded Poverty , but the Dominicans offer'd them their personal Assistance and Money : The Carmelites promised to assist them with their Prayers to God , and our Blessed Lady . Hoping that if God would not hear their Prayers , our Blessed Lady would . So that Heaven's be Prais'd , this Article as if it were the Lawrel Tree of the Narrative , stands not so much as blasted by all his Thunder . And then — dato hoc uno absurdo , Sequuntur all the Rest. To the next Article , he says , Blundel protests he knows nothing of the Business . Article 72. Blundel shew'd the Deponent the Bull , by which the two Arch-Bishopprioks , 21 Bishoppricks , two Abbey's and six Deaneries are disposed of . Nor are there any Prebendaries or other places undisposed of . To this he answers only with Periods , Heaven's ! quo he , setting him upon his Tayle , and lifting up his two Paws like a Bear in Astonishment . Such Benefices to be bestow'd without the Kings consent ! As if it were likely his Holiness would ask the King of England leave to dispose of the Popes Benefices . All in one Bull ! That so carelesly sent ! so carelesly produc'd ! Not one Protestant to be continu'd ! No , if it were to save his Soul. All the promoted Persons ignorant of their Advancement ! who can swallow such Mountains of Incredibility ? Rub his nostrills with a little Spirit of Bezoar , the man has been in a desperate Agony . What a contraction there is upon the Vindicators Wind-Pipe on a suddain . He will make you believe by and by , that his Gullet is no wider then the passage from Purgatory to Heaven . He can swallow the Incredibility that his Holiness should ask leave of the King to dispose of the Popes Benefices : The incredibility that any one Protestant should be continued in his Living ; which I can hardly swallow m●self ; and yet he cannot swallow the probability of the Popes trusting the Bull with his own Creatures , that one Bull should pass for all , at a Conjuncture when too many Bulls would make too much Roaring ; nor the probability that the parties concern'd and promoted knew of it ; because he says , they did not . I warrant ye , were it an Attestation G. or D. he would swallow it , though it were as big as the Globe of the Earth , But I am inform'd by several Physitians , that the Jesuits Stomachs have a particular Antipathy against Narrative Pills ; shew a Jesuit a Narrative Pill , and it puts him into a fit of the Quinsie immediately . His Vvola will close and shut up like a Misers Buttery hatch upon the sight of one . He cannot swallow a Narrative Pill , though it were no bigger then a Tobacco seed . And therefore no wonder these incredibilities seem so montainous to one that has drank some sort of Styptic water , and purs'd up his Wind-Pipe , as the Gentleman purs'd up his Mouth in the Ladies Chamber . Art. 52. That the Deponent saw a Pacquet from the Fathers met at Edenburgh , to the Fathers here , acquainting them , that 8000 Papists were ready to rise , to assist the disaffected Scots , when required by the Scotch Iesuits there . That one Westby was destroyed by a Servant of Lovel the Iesuit , for endeavouring to detect the Rebellion , &c. To all this Vindicator cries , Not one word True. What are his Reasons . 1. Because there never was any meeting of English Iesuits in Edenburgh . 2. No English Iesuits in Scotland . 3. Never Lovel . 4. Nor any Servant of his were ●ver there . 5. No correspondence of English Iesuits in Scotland . 6. No knowledge of Affairs of that Kingdom but by the Gazetts . He would make us believe that Scotland was one of the happiest Kingdoms in Europe , as if the Air of that Country would no more admit of the Vermine of Popery , then Ireland endure the Venome of Toads and Spiders . But how does he come to know all this ? Nay , that 's a secret , — Some body , it may be suppos'd , has told him , and he tells you , and his Ipse dixit you must take for Gospel . However , suppose they were Scotch Jesuites that met at Edenborough ( for the Article says nothing of English Jesuites ) what 's to be said then ? Why then he 'l Swear there never was a Scotch Jesuit upon the Face of the Earth . So that the Vindicator is ready prepar'd for ye , come at him which way ye will. Now , can any body believe this Vindicator cares what he says , that will assert so positively , that never any English Jesuits met at Edenborough since the Creation of the world ? That the Jesuites hold no correspondence with Scotland . That they who correspond with China and the Indies , should forbear to correspond with Scotland , where there is such advantagious Brewing , to the disturbance and molestation of England . Art. 75. Tho. White writ to Blundel , that he was inform'd of some Discovery , yet he should not desist the business in hand . That he should thank Fogarthy for his Care of the business of 48 , meaning the King ; and for his forwardness to assist those in Ireland , for whose good success he would pray . This he confutes by the strength of his Politicks : For , saith he had there bin so horrid a Plot , and White had heard it was discovered , he should have ordered the Conspirators to have desisted , secur'd their Persons , and made away their Papers . 'T is very true , but there are many Fool-hardy persons that are often washed to the Skin for ventring into the Shower , believing 't will presently blow over . The Conspirators design was so well laid , and their Party so Strong , thought nothing would have been heard , much less believ'd against them . And therefore none but such shallow Pates , and of as little Sence as the Inventer of these Suppositions , but will believe that White had all the reason in the world to command them to go on . For it is not to be thought , that Men of such High undertakings , and that knew upon what Foundations they Trod , were to be Bug-Beard out at the whispring of an uncertain Report . Nay , it behov'd them to go on with more vigour , when they knew how easily the suddain Expedition of one single Assassination would have prevented the consequences of that Rumour . Had the Deponent , says the Vindicator , said that White had desired their Prayers for the Preservation of himself , his Province , and all the Catholicks , his Narrative might have been Believ'd . To what purpose so much Praying for persons , that had secur'd their persons and their papers ? But 't is much to the same Effect ; for had he gone the Vindicators way , and accus'd White for desiring the Prayers of his fellow Traytors upon such an accompt , he had but made a Discovery , and so he did , by taking his own Courses , So that the Vindicator seems now to be angry at the Deponent , not for discovering the Plot , but for not doing it that way he would have had him . But to make him amends , if he will be pleased to come and make any farther and real Discoveries himself , he shall have his Liberty to use his own Method . The 77 Article , contains the Deponents Entertainment at the Provincials Lodging . This he calls coherene Nonsence . For none , says he , who knew White in his Vigour , will believe he could beat so stout a man as the Deponent , considering the weak condition he was in when he came to London . What made him venture his weak Carkass at London . It must be no ordinary occasion certainly that made him hazard the Inconveniencies of Sea and Land in that weak condition . This Vindicator can believe that St. Denis when he was in a weaker condition , when he had his Head cut off , could run with it in his Hand above a League , and yet now he thinks it such a Miracle for the Provincial of the Jesuites , to give an Inferior that durst not resist him , and yet had so highly incensed him , a blow or two of Correction with his Cane . And yet his condition was not so weak neither , but that he could stand well enough at the Bar long after that , to tell a company of flim flam Lyes and Falsities , without the assistance of Aqua Mirabiles . The rest is onely a Repetition of the words of the Narrative , with some few Comments , and a Story of his own framing , so little to the purpose , as if he had made it his business to play the Fool. But at last he concludes , that for all their fears of the Deponent , White kept his ordinary Lodgings , removed no Papers , left those under his Conduct in their ordinary Stations , &c. Which alone to Posterity will be a convincing proof of his Innocency . That is to say , White believ'd that the Deponent was a Person , whose Information would be easily crush'd by the ponderous weight of the Popish Interest , and so he resolv'd to go with the Plot. It was not his Innocency , but the blindness of his Zeal , and the great encouragements and probability of success that hardned him to merited Destruction . Quos Deus vult perdere , was the Fate that hung over his Head. His stay at his Lodgings could be no convincing proof to Posterity of his Innocency , in regard that that very act of his , render'd him a Criminal , by which he had at that very time forfeited his Innocency to the Law of the Land. And therefore he could not stay to justifie what he had forfeited by his stay : but he had a longing desire to see the utmost of what He had bin so long a Spinning , and was snapt in the midst of an insensible Vexation , to see the Labour of many Months and Years lost . As for his Chapter upon the Commissions given to the Nobility , I pass it by , in regard the Persons themselves are yet to make their Desences ; which if they prove no better then what their officious Vindicator present us with , is a very Ominous Prospect of their success . However to give them an Essay of his Rhetorick , He tells them what a wise man said , a very bad beginning my Lords , for it seems it is not your Advocate that is the Wiseman , but another Man , and that 's apparent by his thus spoiling his own Market . For the Lords will certainly go to the Wiseman , and not to the Fool , I mean the Vindicator . But what says the Wiseman ? Why , this Wiseman concluded , That either what Homer and Ovid writ of the Lyes , and Aesop of Beasts , were no Fables or the English Conspiracy is a Fable — Truly the Wiseman did not speak very good sense , whoer'e he were . He meant , that if what Homer , Ovid , and Aesop wrote , were no Fables , then the English Conspiracy was no Fable . But those were , therefore this is — This I suppose is the Wisemans Conclusion : but with the Wisemans leave , all the World allows there was a great deal of truth couch'd under those Fables , and that very considerable truth two , experienc'd and attested to be so by the Testimony of several Ages . So that if the Narrative be so like those Fables , it follows that there is a great deal of Truth couched in the Narrative . Had not the Vindicator bin a Fool , he might have bin as Civil to the Lords as the Wiseman , and not have stood outfacing and denying like a Sott in so many Pages what a Wiseman has granted in two Lines . And now being in the Company of Lords , he is not asham'd to tell ye what he is , as good a Traytor , and as worshipful a Conspirator , as any of the rest ; Never the less , quoth he , we suffer for the Truth ; that is , as his Brethren Faux and Ravillac did , for the Truth of their Crimes . And the Truth shall set us free , that is , when they have the grace to believe in Christ , as the Truth in that place spoken of , and not the Popish Plot. However , had he bin so ingenuous as to have quoted the Scripture right , and put in You instead of Us , it had come rightly from him , as thus — We , that is , the Vindicator and the Lords , suffer for the Truth , And the Truth shall set You , the Deponent free . I would wish the Vindicator to let Scripture alone , unless he understood it better . And so to his Word of Advice to the Deponent . CHAP. X. Word of Advice to the Deponent . BUT here you shall find , that before he comes to play the Fool , he plays the Knave ; and assumes to himself very arrogantly and audaciously to have convinc'd the Deponent of Evident Vntruths , Infamous Perjuries , and Shameful Perjuries , when he has no more done it , than he has remov'd the Southern Tropic into Lapland . He has not assign'd one Perjury in all his ribble rabble discourse , but only like the lying Products of Smithfield Wit , swells his Title to put off his Book . Nay he talks so ridiculously , so idly of Perjury , that he does not seem to know what it means . He uses the word to fright Fools , as Nurses make use of Raw-head and Bloody-bones to fright Children with , yet neither know what they say . His Party have been told that Perjurus is one qui male Iurat ex animi sui Sententia . That there is this difference between Pejerare & falsum jurare . For qui Pejerat is sciens & ex animi sententia falsum Iurat . Qui falsum jurat , non decipiendi animo hoc facit , sed quia rem ita se habere putat . Let him prove that the Deponent hath Sworn any thing through the whole Narrative Scienter & ex animo Sententia — Nay , let him prove that the slips of memory as to names or time , were ever accounted Perjury , then the Pope shall give him the great Motto of Eris mihi magnus Apollo : and we will grant him the Cause . The Deponent has Sworn Scienter there was a Popish Plot. The Circumstances he sware only as believing , ita rem se habere . Caitiff of a Vindicator upon the False and Knavish Assertions of his own Brain to call a man Perjur'd ; and to think meerly with Din and Noise to stop the Inquisition and pursuit of Truth after Treason and Murther ! No , he must not imagine England yet so easily scar'd and deluded by such a Priapus of a Vindicator as He. So that I may say to Him , as the Ocean said to Prometheus — 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . His slanderous Tongue will never do the Deponent Harm — But what sort of Counsel is it that this same 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , half Fox , half Goose , pretends so freely to bestow upon the Deponent ? He believes that he has disabl'd the Deponent to follow the Trade of a Witness , and therefore advises Him to take to some more honest , though less gainful way of living . A very specious piece of advice indeed — But when we consider from whence it comes , and the aim at which our Adviser drives , it appears to be only a drowsie piece of Exhortation , glaz'd and sweeten'd over for the Palate of the Common People . Good Counsel ought to be without respect of Interest for the sole benefit of the Person to whom it is given . The Vindicators Advice to the Deponent is quite contrary . He and his Party have been acting one of the foulest Conspiracies that History can Parallel ; and he advises the Deponent to be quiet for the future , and to forbear his farther Prosecution . Very good advice truly . Now I would fain know of our Suttle Vindicator , what way the Deponent shall take to follow his advice ? The Parliament of England are satisfied in the Truth of his Discovery ; they are satisfied that the Vindicator and his Accomplices are guilty of the Villanies and Treasons of which the Deponent accuses them ; and they require and expect from the Deponent that he should do his duty , and go on as he has begun . Which way now shall the Deponent proceed to take his advice , and smother those crimes which he has so impertinently attempted to vindicate ? The Deponent therefore , good Mr. Vindicator , not believing either your pittiful Rhetorick ; and more pitiful arguments sufficient to perswade him to do a thing so unjust and detestable , gives you this answer out of Tacitus , Se neque Proditoris , neque hostium consiliis uti . He is resolved to make use neither of the Counsels of a Traytor , nor his Enemies . But what is this for ? For the good of the Deponents Soul. How does he prove it ? from a mis-quoted place of Scripture of the Psalmes , Fill their Faces with shame , and they will seek thy name , O Lord , Psalm 83. not 82. Now this was a complaint of David himself , upon a Conspiracy against his Life and Government , as the Deponent had complain'd of a Conspiracy against the Life of His Majesty and the English Government . The other is another mis-quoted Text , from Ecclesiasticus in the Apocrypha . For , There is a shame that brings Glory and Grace . And therefore he would have the Deponent asham'd of the good he has done for the safety of his Prince and Country . As to the first of these Texts , I cannot well understand how the Faces of men could be well filled with more shame than to be publickly condemn'd for Treason , and as publickly Hang'd for the Crime , and yet the Vindicator is so far from seeking the name of God , that he still persists in the Devils name , lying and justifying those detestable Enormities for which they suffer'd . And for the latter Text he speaks too late , for the Deponent had appropriated that shame long before to himself , when out of an abhorrency of their lewd Impieties , he forsook , their Cercopum Coetus , their Dens of Treachery and Forgery , and betook himself to make his Discovery , of which perhaps e're now he might have reap'd the Consequences , that is to say , Glory and Grace , but for your busie Machinations to undermine and prevent him . However the Deponent understands the Bible as well as your Worship , and finds a little farther in the same Author , Strive for the Truth unto Death , and the Lord shall fight for thee ; which he believes to be far better Counsel than you have given him . And indeed it had been impossible for him to have Swum against such a stream , or rather Torrent of Opposition , had he not had the strength of Verity to support and Buoy him up . He has got the hatred of you and your Party most certainly ; and the ill will of those whom your sedulity has perverted : He contends dayly with the reproaches of some ▪ the envy of others , the dissimulation of others : Only the Truth of his Narrative begets him some Friends among the better sort of the Nation , and never more hopes than now , that others will change their Opinions upon the sight of your lying and scandalous Vindication . You say again , you have advanced nothing material but what is certainly true . Which is one of the greatest Lyes that ever one single man durst advance in the face of the whole World : There being nothing that is either Material or True. For saith he , the chiefest points are attested by Witnesses of umblemish'd Reputation . — Here 's another Swinger . For as to their Reputation it is so far from being unblemish'd , that it is the fowlest under the Sun. The Reputation of Fugitives , Traytors and Conspirators with himself in as Bloody a design as ever Popery hatch'd ; and consequently Homines Triobolares , Propertius's Damae , Tressis Agasones . In the Second place they are no Witnesses , but vain Attestors in their own wicked cause , of whom more anon . Upon these rotten Surmises of his own unparallel'd Confidence , this Etnean Beetle , the Vindicator , this Monsieur Homme de Rien , this Pomarius Hercules presumes to judge of the Deponents Conscience , and dispose of his Salvation . A Sawciness in the Pope himself , much more in such a Popelin as He. He has been talking Folly and Nonsence all this while , and now conceited of his misshapen Foppery , would needs set himself up for a Deus Ollaris , and sit Judge of another mans Conscience and Salvation . But I must tell you , Sir , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Thou hast Philosophiz'd , speaking to Earth and Heaven ; By whom there is no heed given to thy Speeches . So that you would have done well to have forborn this impertinent piece of Trouble ; the Deponent having now quite done with Jesuitical Confessors , and besides he does not know that ever he requir'd the Vindicators sollicitude for him in this particular , nor believes that his Episcopal jurisdiction reaches into England . He makes an idle Story of the Deponents fainting at the Iesuits Tryal . If he did , the Crowd and Season of the year might well excuse him . But Homer tells us the reason of such a small accident as that , far more discreetly than the Vindicators Malitious Inference . The Deponent had a great deal to remember , and a great deal of business to do . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 — He took breath a while — Rediitque in pectora Sensus . The next thing he troubles the World with , is a Sentence of the Lord Chief Justices in Sir G. W's Tryal . Which in regard it makes nothing to his purpose , we shall leave to the better construction of those , who no doubt will make a more favourable interpretation of the words . Lord , what would these Fellows do with this Vile Heretical Deponents Body , if they had him at Rome , that have with so much inveteracy erected an Inquisition of his own Conscience , and a Chief Justices Sentence to deprive him of his Salvation . Usurping a vain Authority over both , as well knowing that neither the Deponents Conscience , nor the Chief Justices words are at their command . From the Lord Chief Justice he repaires to K. Salomon , and tells us , He that is inconsiderate in his Language shall feel mischief . From whence he undertakes to be a Fortune-teller , and bodes the Deponent bad Luck . In the first place he has confessed that the Narrative was Writ with a great deal of Consideration , and then why may not the preceding words be as true as these , A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth . Then for his Prophetick Spirit we value it not of a Nut-shell , for the Proverb tells us , 't is the Wise man that Governs the Stars , and not such a Fool as He. He talks of Eternal Damnation due to False Witnesses and Murtherers . What 's that to the Deponent ? Let him and his Attestators look to that . Oh but , quo He , I have prov'd him to be both by the Fore-going Discourse , as he calls it . You have said so several times , but you must come and tell us who you are , and make it out , before any man of reason will believe a word you say . You will find it a hard task to make the World believe you are able to write Common Sense , much less with your Feeble Armes to expugn the Truth of the Narrative . If the English Catholicks had such a mind to a Vindication , they should have done well to have made choice of some Person of more Wit and more Learning , considering the Importance of the Charge with which they entrusted him , than your empty Skull affords . Having thus tost your little Squibs of Advice at the Deponent , you throw your Fire-balls at the Citizens of London , whom you call the Giddy Rabble of London . An Expression you might have forborn , had you had the least grain of prudence in your hollow Pericranium ; considering how much you have already exasperated 'em , by your late Devastation of their City , and laying their pretended Habitations in Ashes . You may be sure they have not yet forgot it , nor who were the Authors and Contrivers of their Calamity . They find it in the Narrative , which because you have so slenderly attack'd , they must still and do believe . And therefore you must not blame the Rabble of London , for being kind to the Person that discover'd your Villany . I know not what farther Designs you and your Confederates may have against the Rabble of London , that you threaten 'em so hard , but I believe for all your Vindication , they will have a narrow eye upon your future Actions , and continue as severely diligent as ever in the preservation of themselves from your Clandestine Machinations . You say that Whitebread and his Fellow Sufferers pray'd for the Deponent at their Executions . They had broken the Gallows Custom else . 'T is usual , and therefore no wonder . All your Thieves , Murderers , and Malefactors are mighty tender hearted , and Pardon all the World like so many Popes , before they turn off . But you may assure your self , 't was more than the Deponent ever car'd for , or desired at their hands , and so you may tell the rest of the Surviving Iesuits , that you say Pray for him still : For he is fully satisfied , how far the Prayers of the wicked will reach Heaven . So that you may go Whistle with your Friendly Admonitions , pack up your Awls , and conclude that you have lost both your Labour , and your hearts desire ; for that you are never like to have him in your Clutches at St. Omers again . Now for the Attestators and Attestations themselves , they are such as one would think he had intended a Vindication of the Spanish and Flemish Catholicks , not of the English. As for the Persons themselves , certainly never was such a parcel of Vermin Muster'd together out of the Temple Walks , or the Black-pot Houses in White-Frayars , particularly Jesuits and Mule-men ; generally Fugitives , Traytors of the same Gang with himself , Conspirators in the same Plot , and impeach'd for the same Crimes for which some of their Fellows have already been Hang'd and Quarter'd by the Law of the Land , and all after a fair Tryal , a deliberate Verdict , and the Sentence of their Judges . To tell you more of them , they are 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , Testes Domestici , such as the Vindicator has at home , that is , within the Verge of Papistical Jurisdiction , ready for his and their own advantage . And so to bring Evidence of this nature , is no more than what Cicero , in his Third Book de Oratore , cites , as the saying of Catulus , of a certain vain declaimer of that time , Stultitiae suae quamplurimos testes domestico praeconio colligere , to bring a Rabble of Knights of the Post , or People of his own Stamp to attest his own folly . In a word , they are most of them of St. Omers Breed , and what Ropes of Testimony have been sent from thence , we have had experience sufficient and publick enough . As for that same Dr. Linch that pretends to be Arch-bishop of Tuam in Ireland , What does he at Madrid ? If he claim his Dignity from the sole head of the Church in that Kingdom , who is the King of Great Britain , why does he absent himself from his Diocess , an Exile from his Duty and his Prince's favour ? If he claim under any other Authority , he is a Rebel ; and then , what have we to do with him or his Attestation either ? And the same may be said of Strange , Warren , Warner , Blundel , and the rest of his English Crew . Then for the Attestations themselves , being only the Subscriptions of such unblemish'd Gentlemen , could ever any man but a Vindicator of the English Catholicks imagine , they should be of any value here ? Suppose that an English Jesuit should commit a Felony in England , and fly to St. Omers , and being afterwards Out-lawd for the Crime , should send an Attestation under his own Hand , that he was Innocent and knew nothing of the matter ; is it possible for any man to believe that such a piece of wast Paper would be sufficient to acquit the Fellon , and Perjure the Witnesses that accus'd him ? They that inform'd this Attestation-monger so precisely concerning the Deponents Physiognomy , might as well have inform'd him that our Law admits of no such Rubbish in Criminal Causes , as the Scrawls of Forraign publick Notaries : Viva voce Testimony carries all in such Cases . Our Law is so far from admitting a Criminal to attest , that it will not allow him to swear in his own Cause . 'T were a fine thing indeed , that they who dare not shew their faces in England , should be believed upon the credit of a Forraign scrip of Paper . And it is no less a wonder that such Sir Politico's as the Jesuits , should be such Cuckow-brains , as to send their Billets into England for the Vindication of the English Catholicks , where they knew the Law so little valu'd them — So that being no more than Caeca Testimonia , blind Certificates , and as the Poet ca'ls them , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cunning artifices of deceit , it follows then , that all their Protestations to Heaven contain'd therein , were fram'd and modell'd animo decipiendi , only to delude the ignorant and unwary People , and surprize their belief with the gaudy luster of most worthy and unblemish'd Witnesses . Whereas coming to the touch , they prove to be only a Company of Exiles , Traytors and Rebels , their Attestations for that reason meer trifles , and that for their Protestations , they might as well have protested by their Skeanes and the Winds , like the Antient Scythians . Now then if the English Catholicks be not Vindicated by their own Laws , the Vindicator has done nothing , his Mountain hath not brought forth at all , the Mouse is there still . And then what becomes of his confident Assertion , that he had advanced nothing but what was material and true ? What will become of all these Forgeries , Lyes , Contradictions , and Perjuries , with which he has so impudently and confidently defam'd and Scandaliz'd an approved Narrative ? Tibullus tells him , — Venti Irrita per terras & summa freta ferunt . In the mean while the Plot is still Popish , the English Catholicks are ne're the better , and the Vindicator loses his hearts desire . Three mischievous accidents to one that pretends to have spent so much labour for those very ends and purposes . The Vindicator therefore should have done well to have remembred the Story of that famous Lawyer , Papinian , who being flatter'd by Caracalla , to Vindicate him for the Murther of his Brother Geta , made answer that Crimes of that nature were sooner committed than excus'd . 'T was easier for his Brethren the Jesuits to act as they did , than for him to excuse their Villany when perpetrated . There is that Guard of Providence over Truth , which is not to be forc'd from her defence by the threatning aspect , or reproachful Scandals of a more terrible Gorgons Head than his . — Though Power and Policy assail her both at once , 't is but a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , from which all the fury and State-Policy in the World will be forc'd to retire at length with shame and loss . So that considering the difficulty of the task , and the imbecillity of the Undertaker , there is no necessity that he should go presently and dispose of his body by way of despair , for the loss either of his Labour , or his hearts desire . For to say truth , it was a very confident thing for him to think that the People of England should be Hector'd out of their Senses by a single Gladiator of St. Omers . However if it be impossible for him to Survive his Misfortunes , he may do as he pleases . Thus we see upon what Supporters the Vindication of the English Catholicks is founded . Upon the ipse dixit of the Vindicator himself , and the Attestations of the Criminals accus'd . The crime from which the Vindicator goes about to clear his Friends , is the Popish Plot. The way he assumes to accomplish his ends , is to render the Discoverer infamous and contemptible , thereby to make their Credit Superiour to his . To this end , the Vindicator talks big of the Deponents Life and Conversation . But neither he nor any of the Attestators , with all their Aspick Venom and inveterate Malice , tax him with any of the common Vices incident to Youth . You heart not a tittle of those , but only of his ill Manners . What these were they do not particularize . But at length we may pick 'em out , and they appear to be Passion and Aspiring . Nay they croud in another Peccadillo too , which they call Poverty . To all which how many of the Greatest among the Great , the Learnedst among the Learned , the most Pious among the Pious have been Subject , I leave to all the World to judge who have read any thing of Story . This is still but the misconduct and miscarriage of Humane Frailty , which it is at our Liberty , and which indeed we ought to forgive in one another . But Treason , Murder , Assassination of Princes , Firing of Cities are Crimes , Crimes of the highest Nature , Crimes which none can forgive but God and his Vice-gerent the King. This Person then , who while he liv'd among them , was no more than Passionate and Lofty , comes and Discovers a Popish Plot carry'd on by a Gang of Conspirators against the King and Kingdom , makes out a Narrative of their Proceeding , and Sweares to the Truth of it . To acquit themselves , they do not presently come fairly to the Test , but as soon as they think that by their Magick Policies and Industrious Contrivances they have lull'd the Prosecution of their Villanies asleep , they give Order to the Vindicator to deny the whole matter of Fact , from the Alpha to the Omega of it , and to call the Discoverer Rogue , Lyar , Perjur'd , to load him with Obloquy , and upon his own Dung-hil to crow up their own Credit : while their Spies on the one side , watch him as the Ichneuman does the Crocodiles Eggs , and supply the Pen-man with Matter for his Scribblement , and they on the other side furnish him with their own Attestations of their own Innocence , and by that means believe they shall discharge themselves of a Passionate man. And why ? because they say the Credit of Traytors and Rebels is beyond the Oath of a man of ill Manners among them . Come , come , Beloved , this will never do ; this is not the way to Vindicate your Friends nor your selves neither , by calling your accuser , who has been smart enough with ye hitherto , Perjur'd and Lyer a t'other side the Sea , like the Carrier that defy'd the Lord Mayor upon High gate-Hill . Your clearest and most effective course will be to crave Passes , come over , enter the Lists with him , beard him , face him , out-face him , disprove him , turn him and wind him , and convince him into a Niobean silence . Then write your Vindication , you 'l need no Bilbo Merchants then to help you out at a dead lift . Till you have done all this , your Attestations indeed may serve to make Pellets for Pot-guns , but though you should hit your great Enemy full in the Brest with a hundred of 'em , they will never do him a Pins worth of Harm . But now to speak a little more of their Credit , since they stand so much upon it , I do find in the Edict of Queen Elizabeth for their Expulsion out of England , that their Credit is highly there advanced for their lewd and desperate Arrogance ; for their prying into the Counsels of Princes ; for their Exciting Forraign Potentates to invade the Queens Dominions ; for their Libels against Her Government , and Traiterous attempts upon her Person . Vertues so proper for the carrying on such a Plot as these men of credit are accus'd of , and out-facing and out-brazening it at a distance , when they have done , that I find no reason why men that are accus'd of the same Crimes , men of the same clay , Pot-sherds of the same tincture with those that have been Branded for so many Ages , should have that ill opinion of themselves , as to think themselves so unlikely to be Guilty ; and so good an opinion of their musty Attestations , as to put them in Competition with the solemn Oath of a Person never Criminal but in their Society . This and what has been already said at the beginning , may suffice to shew the value of this same so much exalted Credit of the Vindicators Order of Iesus , which if they dare be so confident as to gain-say , I dare be so hold as to produce Twenty times as much more . So that with so little credit as they have to call the Discoverers Oath Worthless , was but like the boast of a Bankrupt far from Neighbors . To say the truth their Religion it self is a Religion of no Credit . A Religion founded upon Forgery . A sort of Devotion that no man of reason can admit into his Belief or Conscience . A Religion in the Practice of its Professors so Diametrically contrary to all the Precepts of the Founder of Christianity that nothing can be more . Their Muster Roll of Saints to be sported with , as Lucian Laughs at the numerous Train of the Heathen Deities in his Councel of the Gods. Their Transubstantiation to be contemned rather than disputed against ; Their Miracles as Fabulous as Mandevil's Travels . Their excessive Pomp , their inordinate Pride , their Luxury , their Sodomy so infamous , as if they plac'd all their felicity in the enjoyment of the pleasures of this World. Their Superstitions and Ceremonies Foppish and Ridiculous . In short , a Religion which their Popes themselves have vilify'd with their own mouths , while one deridingly retorted to his zealous Friend . Non si chiava in questa Religione , non durera . Ne're make such a bustle about this Religion , 't will not last . And another exulting in his Riches , cry'd out . O quantum nobis profuit haec fabula de Christo ? Certainly then for the Professors of a Religion of so little Credit , to advance their worthless Attestations above the Oath of a Person professing a Religion so sincere and Orthodox , as that of the Protestants , and for them to be believ'd , would be the greatest Paradox in Nature . But it seems that having lost its Religious Credit , it must be now supported by Bloody Maxims of State ; by the Murder of Princes , and the Massacre of their Subjects . The first Religion in the World , that ever subsisted by its own Ecclesiastical Politicks . The Iews lost all by revolting from the Ordinances of God ; they lose all if they revolt from the Maxims of the Devil . The Maxims of the Papal Government are easie enough to be seen : by which it appears that the Popes of Rome have taken little notice of the Oracles of God , but altogether consulted the most inward Recesses and Penetralia of Humane Wit. Insomuch as the Author of the Life of Sixtus Quintus tells ye , the reason of the Diuturnity of the Papal Government is not to be taken from the Verity of the Religion , but from this benefit peculiar to the Government , that it always falls into the hands of Old men , and consequently men Grave , Prudent and Considerative . Which is the cause that the Papal Government still gets ground , or at least never loses . Whereas other Monarchs being successive , and subject to the misconducts and miscarriages of Minors , Protectors and Favorites , lose more in a few years , than the Wisdom of many that succeed is able to make good . So then , what Trust or Credit there is to be given to the words , actions or Protestations of the Professors of the refined Politicks of Humane Wit , I leave to all the World to judge . Yet certainly this exquisite Politeness , this studied exactness of Humane Policy , is not always the most successful , not does it always obtain it's end . Sometimes those men of Parts peg up their Invention too high ; or else while they Weave their designs so thin and subtle , they become transparent , and being discover'd , degenerate into Folly. Assuredly such a piece of refin'd cunning , was that of the Jesuits , to think to clear themselves , by throwing their Crimes upon the Presbyterians . One of the greatest Arguments , no doubt , of their Guilt . For never in this World did Innocence go about to acquit it self the Recrimination of other . Reason and Justice requires , that the Guilty should clear themselves , before they accuse other people . What the Papists , what the Jesuits , what the Popes themselves have been , what their Maxims and their Tenents are , we have already shewn , and shall do more if they require it , viz. That they have trampl'd upon the Heads and Crowns of Princes , been the Authors and Fomenters of most of the Rebellions of the Subjects of Europe . That their Political Tenents are the Extirpation of Hereticks , otherwise call'd the Destruction of Kingdoms , the Deposition and Murther of Princes , and to cover all , mental Reservations , and Equivocations with God and Man. These men being now accus'd of no more than what has been their practice for so many years ; These men , because they are Detected to have done no more than what is as natural to 'em as their Mothers Milk ; to have acted only according to those Principles which they learn't with their first Rudiments of Spelling , to clear themselves , would fain throw their Crimes upon the Presbyterians ; under that Notion aiming at the whole Body of the Protestants in general . But the Presbyterians must bear the Burthen of their Calumnies , by reason of the miscarriages in the years forty two , before and after . As for the Protestants in General , the Vindicator should have done well to have produced his Histories where they have been such Recorded Mutineers and Rebels against their Princes . In France how lately were they the chiefest support of their Natural Soveraign against their Rebellious Papistical Subjects , whom the Pope and the Jesuits had Leagu'd together to their utter Extirpation . The Protestants of the Netherlands could not be call'd Rebells , for that they made no opposition upon the account of Religion , but for the maintainance of their Antient Franchizes and priviledges , from the Oppression of the Spaniard , who was not their Lawful Soveraign neither . Nor did they do what they did , in a Tumultary way , but under the Conduct of a Prince , who had as much right to the Soveraignty among them ▪ as Philip the Second . Nor did they during the contest , send any one to Murther the King of Spain , as the Jesuits , his great Creatures did to Assassinate two great Princes of the House of Nassau . As for the Protestants of Germany , their Wars were carry'd on by their own Princes , who were as free as the Emperour himself . The Protestants of England never got the Power of the Government into their hands by Rebellion , but by the act of their own Monarchs themselves . By the assistance of the Protestants Queen Mary obtain'd the Crown . And the Protestants were they whom she Martyr'd for their kindness , who yet nevertheless made no other resistance against her , but by their patient submission to her Cruelty . But the papists were they that were so restless in their Conspiracies against Her Successor . But the Chief pretence of their Malitious cunning , is the late Rebellion in England , of which Presbyterians are by them charg'd to be the chief Designers , Authors and Instruments . I must confess , there can be no Pen but that of a Jesuites , that dares adventure to justifie that Rebellion . But since it was His Majesties most Gratious Pleasure that all the publick transgressions of those years , should be Buried in the Tomb of a General Oblivion , it was an unpardonable injury to His Majesties Act of Pardon , to revive forgiven offences , to improve Scandals , and raise surmizes of Facts committed , for which there is not the least appearance of Proof . The Vindicator had a greater business then this to do , before he had open'd such a Villainous absurdity ; that is , he should have prov'd that the Papists and Jesuits , were not the Abettors and Seducers of those Presbyterians at that time , in regard they acted nothing but by their Doctrine and Principles , and that so truly , as if Bellarmine , Lessius , Suarez , Mariana , and the rest of that Crew had been their only Masters . Salmonet also in his Troubles of England tells us , that after the battel of Edge-hill , several Priests were found among the Slain of the Parliaments Army . So Couragious were Popish Emissaries to accompany the Presbyterian Souldiers , for fear they should falter in their Rebellious Fortitude . And it is the opinion of Wise and Learned men , that that Rebellion was rais'd and foster'd by the contrivances of the Court of Rome . When those Presbyterians saw their errors , and had voted to restore the King with Honour and Safety , they were no longer for the Turn of the Jesuitical Party , who presently therefore forsook them , and joyn'd with the Army Party , that was not only the Stronger , but driving on the Design which they aim'd at themselves , which was the Destruction of His Majesty , to which intent and purpose they insinuated themselves into the Chief Committees of the Independent and Fift-Monarchy Faction . For proof of which Dr. De Moulin tells ye of a Select Number of Jesuits , that were sent from the whole Number of Jesuits in England to the Sorbonne at Paris , to consult for the advancing and securing the Catholick Cause in England ; which they found no better way to bring to pass , then by making away the King , who had then yielded to the making several Acts for Extirpation of Popery . He tells ye of one Sarabras that was present , and Triumphing at the Murther of the King ; and of a certain Priest and Confessor , who when he saw the Fatal Stroak given , flourished his Sword and cry'd out , Now the Greatest Enemy we have in the World is gone . And the Author of Fair Warning affirms , that one Father Sibthorp , in a Letter to Father Medcalfe , acknowledged that the Jesuits were the Contrivers of the Kings Murther . And it was the Opinion of Secretary M. that the Irreligion of the Papists was chiefly guilty of the Murther of the late King , the Odium whereof , they were then about , to file to the account of the Protestants . Now that men of such leud Principles as these , men so strongly accus'd , and so likely to be Guilty , and of whose Number some have already Suffer'd upon the same Accusations , I say that such men should go about to invalidate the Testimony that appears against them , by recriminating upon another Party before they have acquitted themselves , and that so unseasonably and with so little probability of proof , was one of the most Sottish pieces of Jesuitical cunning that ever History Recorded . It seems then , that if the Jesuits Plot had not been Discover'd , the Presbyterians never had been heard of . But the Jesuits Plot being once brought to Light , they began to look about 'em , and so they found the Presbyterian Plot in a Midwives meal-Tub . Here was strange good luck , and strange bad luck ; strange good luck , to find a Plot so Miraculously ; Strange bad luck , to make so little of it . And what was the Reason ? Because it was a Jesuitical not a Presbyterian Plot. And indeed it was a wonderful symptome of despair , and that they were come to the last push , to hope for success from a Plot carry'd on in a hurrey , that had fail'd so unhappily in the Confultations and premeditations of so many years . But there is yet a greater Argument of the pretended Presbyterian Plot , for that it was not plac'd right , as being fix'd upon Men that were become those Foelices Agricolae , that now well understood their own happiness . persons that have a fairer prospect of their own Interest and Safety , as deeply understanding both to be so entirely wrapt up in the Safety of His Majesty , as absolutely to oblige them to venture their Lives and Fortunes for the Preservation of His Sacred Person , His Crown and Monarchical Dignity . Therefore it was that they were so Cordially Zealous , and zealously assisting in his Restoration ; since which they have enjoy'd those Blessed Fruits of Freedom , Rest and Peace , of which Men of their prudence would never go about to deprive themselves by the Folly of a Meal-Tub Plot , or to sully that Reputation for their Loyalty , wherein they have ever since continu'd , with designs and Counsels , the most Ridiculous and vain that ever Vanity it self produc'd . They cannot be ignorant of that Immortal hatred which the Court of Rome and the Jesuits bear them . Campian the Jesuit has told 'em roundly the Intention of his Associates . As for our Society , saith he , I would have you to know , writing to the Counsellers of the Queen of England , That all we who are of the Order of Iesus , where-ever dispersed over the face of the whole World , have made a Holy League , to extirpate the Hereticks by all means and ways whatever , whereby we shall easily surmount all your Contrivances against Vs , nor shall we ever despair as long as one of Vs remains alive . So then it would be the most inconsiderate piece of Rage , the most besotted piece of Fury in the World , for Protestants to lend their helping hand to assist the Malice of such an Inveterate Enemy for the Destruction of each other . And consequently so little to be suspected from the Wisdom and Piety of the Presbyterians , that it would be almost a Crime to mention it farther . And now to Conclude , let the World take this Character of the Scandalizer of the Presbyterians , and the Vindicator of the English Catholicks , that he is a man of the most passion , and the least Reason that ever put Pen to Paper , and so I leave him against next time , to learn more Wit and more Manners . THE END . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54760-e250 Some burnt at Wild-house . 
A54793	----	Speculum crape-gownorum, the second part, or, A continuation of observations and reflections upon the late sermons of some that would be thought Goliah's for the Church of England by the same author. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1682 Approx. 95 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A54793 Wing P2111 ESTC R21006 12610820 ocm 12610820 64372 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54793) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64372) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 772:11) Speculum crape-gownorum, the second part, or, A continuation of observations and reflections upon the late sermons of some that would be thought Goliah's for the Church of England by the same author. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. Defoe, Daniel, 1661?-1731. 40 p. Printed for R. Baldwin, London : 1682. First edition. Has been erroneously attributed to Daniel Defoe. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Clergy -- England. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Speculum Crape-Gownorum , THE SECOND PART . Or a Continuation of OBSERVATIONS and REFLECTIONS Upon the Late SERMONS Of some that would be thought GOLIAH's FOR THE Church of England . By the same AUTHOR . LONDON : Printed for R. Baldwin . 1682. The Second Part of Speculum Crapegownorum , in a Dialogue between Priestlove and Meryweather . Priestlove , I Say , and I still say , that had it not been for the Observator and Heraclitus , the Nation had been ruin'd ere this . Mery. How Friend Priestlove ? Priestlove . Nay , how me no how 's , for 't is very true . Mery. Not so hasty — For will you prefer a Brace of Quacks to a whole Colledge of able Physitians ? Priestlove . I prefer no Quacks . Mery. Yes , you do — For the Observator and Heraclitus are a couple of meer pretending Quacks ; they find the Nation labours under a Scorbutick distemper , and they come with their French Congies , and cry , Me cure de State. Me cure de State , when they know no more of State-Physick , unless it be to Draw a Blister , than Horse-Leeches . Priest. I care not for that , I stand to my first Assertion still . Mery. This 't is , not to consider : for in so saying , you dishonour the whole Society of the Crape-Gown Order of D. D's , and B. D's . and the more inferior sort of Rectors and Vicars , who have now undertaken to be the State Physitians themselves . And do you think that the Applications of Bow Church Sermons , Guild-hall Sermons , Assize Sermons , and Anniversary Sermons are not much more wholesome for the present distempers of the State , than the Euphorbucum and Cantharides of the Observator and Heraclitus ? Priest. Both Applications may be good in their kinds . Mery. Oh Sir , but the Levites pretend their Licences from Heaven , which th' other can never lay claim to : So that the other are meer Intruders ; and whether the Levites do not practice beyond their Skill and Commission is much to be question'd . Priest. The Scripture commands obedience and submission to the Government ; they are commanded to Preach the Scripture , therefore they are commanded to Preach Obedience to the Government . Mery. That is to say , in Civil affairs , they are to Preach General Obedience to the Laws and the Government ; but thence it does not follow they are to be Judges of the breaches of that Obedience : For were it otherwise , they were to take their Texts out of Polton , and not out of the Bible . For example , were the difference between the People and the Magistrate , whither the Statute of Jeofails , or the Habeas Corpus Act were to be Repeal'd ; what have they to do with that ? No more than the Pinner of Wakefield . Would it not be fine sport , to hear the Pulpits ring with the Habeas Corpus Act , or the Statute of Jeofails ? You are commanded to obey the Statute of Jeofailes , you are commanded to obey the Habeas Corpus Act , Job 36.21 . In like-manner , what have they to do with Associatians and Addresses , as they are the Disputes of State ? For let them talk till their Lungs ake , they can never prove by Scripture , that either political Associations or Addresses are forbidden , in reference to the English Government . But if the Prince shall once declare his particular dislike to such proceedings , then are they to press a general Obedience to his Will and Pleasure , so far as is consentaneous to Divine Writ . Priest. Who shall be Judge of that ? Mery. The very definition of a Christian Loyalty it self : That is to say , That vertuous and inviolable Fidelity which the Subject ows to his Lawful Prince , by vertue of the same Obligations and Ties by which he is bound to God : And this is that true Christian Obedience which every true Minister of the Church ought to inculcate into the hearts of their Hearers by the force of pure Divinity , not Arguments of State , which are fluctuating and inconstant ; in regard that Reason of State , and alteration of Government may alter the case of Obedience upon various occasions ; in so much , that in the quick Turns and Revolutions of the latter end of H. 8. Ed. 6. Queen Mary and Elisabeth , some of the greatest promoters and Practisers of Politick Obedience , were asham'd at last of their frequent compliance , and retir'd out of the way ; as you may Read in the History of the Reformation it self . Priest. You have given a nice Distinction of Loyalty , pray make it out . Mery. The first is that Christian Obedience which is due to the supreme power by the Law of God , so far as may stand with the Sacred Interest of Salvation . The second is an Obedience upon the moral motives of Human Interest to the Law of Man , which may sometimes impose commands which a sincere and upright Conscience may in some measure scruple at , nay positively deny a submission to : as in the case of the Three Children ; or by a late fresh example in the case of the late times , when even temporal obedience was refus'd by all that adheard to the King whom dire necessity did not compel to it . Priest. The late Times , what d' ye talk of those Usurpers . Mery. However to talk like a Divine , it was a Supreme Power , tho' set over us for our sins and our punishment : And most certain it is , that both we and the Calvinists agree in this , That , Etiam Infideli Magistratui obediendum est , with safety of Conscience . I only speak this to shew , that men are not to urge upon the Conscience so severely , that were so nice of it themselves . Priest. Well , but then to the second . Mery. The second , which is an Obedience to commands enjoined by the Politick Constitution and Frame of Government , I think there is no Dissenter in England , that would not be accounted a Rebel , but would confirm it to his Prince with his Heart , his Hand and his Purse . And this is properly call'd Loyalty , Loyaute , Legalidad , ( all from the Latin word Lex ) which acts according to the Laws of Nature and Policy , as being due first to those Laws , and then to the Minister of those Laws , as the derivation of the Word plainly implies . Which being the chief satisfaction to the Civil Magistrate , it seems hard that Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction should make such a heavy clutter for her far less inconsiderable mite of a coercive power . Just as if one and the same man owed the secular claim a Hundred thousand pound , and the Ecclesiastical pretensions Twenty pound ; the Secular Magistrate should be bound to give no Release for the whole Hundred thousand pound , because the same person requested the Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction to abate Five pound of her Twenty . Priest. Is there nothing then due to the Church of England . Mery. Yes — the Noblest Tithes of the World — the Tithes of Unity , Love and Charity . Priest. Why do they not pay them ? Mery. Pay ' em ! They dare not come nere ye . Up ye get into your Pulpits , as into so many Beacons ; where ye raise such a Flame , that they 're afraid of the Countries coming in upon ' em . But doubtless had that method been us'd by those who have taken another course , of teaching true Christian obedience , without reflexions , flames , and virulency , that Vnion had been long since accomplish'd , which the Protestant Interest at present so much laments ? Priest. Tush — they 're a stiffneck'd Generation that will never conform . Mery. No ? There 's one , Mr. Read by name , has fairly lead the way . You will not let him read the Liturgy of England in a Church , where would you have him read it ? upon the top of the Monument ? Or what would you have him do with those Souls that have commited themselves to his charge , and are so well satisfi'd of his conduct to Heaven ? Will you hear his own words ? He tells ye , first , That he has advis'd with his Brethren in the Ministry , who did acknowledg the lawfulness of using the Liturgy in the Ordinary Lords-day-Service . That his Principles are these , That Obedience to the Majestrate in things Lawful is a duty . That a form of Prayer is lawful . And that Communion in such Churches is lawful . Now why must Grand-Juries , and Petty-Juries be put to the trouble to vex and torment such men as these , and deter them from their good intentions ? Priest. Because of the Law. Mery. As to that Law ( for I know you mean the last Law against seditious Meetings . ) I have this to say : First , I do not find that the makers of that Law do assign the least breach of Political Obedience against the Dissenters : only there is a Supposition , that an Insurrection may be hatch'd at such a Meeting : So that as long as there is no such thing done as the Law supposes , where there is no Transgression there can be no Punishment . So then it remains , that this Law was obtain'd by some part of the Clergy for their own advantage , and to render themselves the more formidable to their Dissenting Brethren . In the second place , it was never yet known in this World , that ever any Civil Magistrate , or Supreme Power , made a Law , with an intent to punish any good man. This Law against Dissenters punishes many a good man , therefore never intended by the Supreme Power against the Dissenters . Now , that the Dissenters are good men , I prove from David's own description of a good man in Psalm 15. where putting the Question to himself , Vir bonus est Quis ? He answers , first as to the Civil Government , Qui ambulat integre , exercetque justitiam ; That is , He that behaves himself dutifully and obediently toward the Civil Magistrate , and justly toward his Neighbour . Now that the Dissenters are , at least outwardly , under the guard of these descriptions of good men , is plain , for that no Informer complains against them for the least breach of Civil Obedience either in Word or Deed as to any other Law , but only the single act of Nonconformity to this Statute . So then the Statute not being intended against them , as being good and vertuous men , and conformable to the Civil Government , they can be guilty of no Nonconformity to the commands of the Civil Power : For the Civil Power , by this Act , enjoyns nothing but Peace to be kept ; with the breach of which , no Informer as yet hath taxed them . That the Dissenters are not guilty of any Nonconformity to this Act , in referrence to the Ecclesiastical Power , I offer thus : The Statute enjoyns the Exercise of Religion , according to the Liturgy of the Church of England , which contains no more than only Truth . If then the Dissenters speak and pray according to Truth , they exercise according to the Liturgy of the Church of England . The Psalmist therefore proceeding in the next words , after he has declared who does well in Civils , tels us who does well in Spirituals ; That is to say , Qui loquitur veritatem ex animo suo , He that speaks Truth from his heart : But the Dissenters do speak Truth , nay the Truth of Truth , Divine Truth , and therefore exercise according to the Liturgy , and as such they are good men , and so to be accompted , in foro Ecclesiastico . Now then put it thus . Never any Law-givers ever made a Law , with an intent to punish any man that speaks Divine Truth ; But this Law against Dissenters punishes many a man that speaks Divine Truth : Therefore never any Law-givers intended this Law against the Dissenters . And the same Argument holds for the Hearers , as well as the Speakers , for that the hearing of Divine Truth is as Lawful as to speak it . So then , if the Dissenters , as intended by the Act , were to be punished , they are Transgressors ; but the Dissenters not being intended by the Act are no Transgressors : Therefore the Dissenters are not to be punished by the Act. Or thus : If the Dissenters , as not intended by the Act , are not to be punished , they are Innocent ; but the Dissenters , as not intended by the Act , are not to be punished : Therefore the Dissenters are Innocent . The reason why they are not intended by the Act ; is because they are Loyal to the Civil Government , and Obedient to the Spiritual , for that they Speak and Preach Divine Truth . And then , That the Dissenters Preach Divine Truth is easily thus proved ; The Church of England Teaches Divine Truth , the Dissenters teach the same Doctrine with the Church of England : Therefore the Dissenters teach Divine Truth . From whence we may inferr , that to persue such Vast Numbers of People under the Notion of Dissenters with the Lash of a Law , that assignes no breach of publick disobedience or Publick disturbance , no detriment to the Publick Revenue , or forbidden Acts of private injury , but only the supposition of an Offence deduced and inferred from the bare separate Excercise of Divine Worship , seems an extremity too much simpathizing with uncharitable , worldly Interrest , that misses more the separated Purse than the seperated Person . The moderate Party themselves confess , that as to those who purely and out of Conscience refuse to conform , their Circumstances are hard . And it is as hard , that of all the Penal statutes , these that have the fairest plea to soften them , should be so loudly awakened to their Offices , when those against the crying sins of the Nation and more destructive to Government , lye dreaming out a Lazy Being for want of Employment . And indeed Friend Priestlove the case seems much the harder , in regard that the Turk in the present height of his Tyranny and Popular reverence of his Mahumatisme , yet lets the disconsolate Greeks have the free Exercise of their own Religion which is all the happiness they have to boast of in this World. Priestlove . I care not for your Greeks or your Jews neither ; I tell you the Presbyterians are a company of Traytors and Plotters . Does not the Observator and Heraclitus tell yee so ? and do not the streets ring of their Plots ? Merry . Truly you are well hope up with two special Fathers of the Church of England . What if they should tell you that the Moon were made of Green-Cheese , would you believe ' em ? Priest. Yes , that I would , so long as they wrote against the Presbyterians . Merry . Well , but where are these Presbyterian Plotters ? You see the Popish-Plotters have been visible enough , at the Old Bayly , Westminster-hall , Tower hill and the Gallows ; where be these Presbyterian-Plotters ? Do they walk in the Clouds ? or have they got every one a Gyges's Ring in their Pockets ? Has your Observator been all this while observing , and observed none of 'em yet ? Whoever they be , let 'em be brought to the Stake , and let the Observator and Heraclitus have the pleasure of Roasting 'em to death , the next burning of the Pope , for the reward of their great pains . However , I will not undertake to justifie every individual Dissenter ; there may be Turbulent , Factious and Ambitious persons of all Professions , and under all Masks of Religion . Nevertheless , I hope you would think it a great peice of Imprudence , for a man to throw away a whole Quarter of Wheat , for the mixture of a Peck of Tares . If your Observator and your Heraclitus would bring their Winnows and their Skreens , and separate tke Corn from the Chaff , they might then gain some applause perhaps for that , which now runs about the World only for scandal and impertinence . Priest. I must tell ye , they have no decency , no decorum in their Worship . Mery. As how ? Priest. Why you shall come into a Meeting-House , and while the Minister is in his Pulpit , there you shall see a company of People , Young and Old , Rich and Poor , sitting upon their Bums , their Hats pull'd over their Eyebrows , with their Pens , and their Books , and their Blotting-Papers , all so busily employed , as if they were so many men Copying of News-Letters , and this in such a strange Ethiopic Character , that no-body can tell what they Write : They may be setting down their last Weeks Gains and Expences for ought I know . Nay , I saw one so wedded to his Hat , that after the Minister was in his last Prayer , he would not stir it from his Head , till he had concluded what he had to Write , wiped his Pen , screw'd his Inkhorn , fix'd his Blotting-Paper , clasp'd his Book , and put it in his Pocket : and by that time the Minister had almost done . Mery. All this while , this is no disobedience to the Law. However , I wish there were no greater obstacle of Protestant Unity than this , since it would discover a very extravagant obstinacy indeed , if the promise and performance of the Reformation of such an inconsiderable scandal as this should be refus'd . For indeed , Friend Priestlove , I must here close with you , that it seems to me a very indecent thing for the Ambassador of so Almighty a Prince , as the King of Heaven , to be uncover'd , and that the Hearers should receive the glad tidings of Salvation in so unthankful a Posture . I speak not this so much out of respect or veneration to the Walls , or the Pillars , or the place it self , but to the Message deliver'd , the Deliverer , and the Time of Delivery . But now to retaliate your Indecorum , I will tell ye of another Indecency , which I take to surpass yours , from which , I can except no Parish-Church within the Lines of Communication ; and which I look upon to be the mischeif of Pews , not us'd in other Reformed Churches ; and that is the hideous noise and clatter in the time of Divine-Service . For it behoves Mr. Sexton , or Mrs. Sextoness , to have a vigilant eye that day , knowing that Christmas will come : And the greater the reputation of the Minister that Preaches that day , the worse it fares with mortal Ear and disturb'd Devotion . At one end of the Church come in Two or Three Women , and then perhaps in the midst of the Absolution , slap — slap — slap ; by and by come in Three or four men together , and then 't is , Our Father which art in Heaven , slap — slap — slap ; and if the Lock be a little refractory , then three or four slaps more into the bargain . By and by comes a whole shole of Slugabeds , and then 't is , We beseech ye to hear us good Lord ; slap here , and slap there , slap there , and slap here ; slap a that side , and slap a this side ; slap — slap slap . Anon come in two or three gay Peticoats , then upstarts Mrs. Ginglekey from her Hassock , opens this Pew , and that Pew , and then 't is , Lord encline our hearts , &c. Slap here , and slap there : And thus there is no end of Slapping all the whole Prayer-time ; as if the Pew dores had been ordain'd to supply the place of Organ Responsories ; a confusion that would not be endur'd at a common Musick-meeting . Priest. This is so customary , that no-body minds it ; and besides , it may be very advantageous to keep people from falling asleep . Mery. Then keep your Dores open while Prayers are done , and slap 'em in Sermon-time . Priest. But how will you help it ? Mery. Nay , look you to that ; I am sure 't is a very great Indecorum . Go to the Observator and Heraclitus , they are wise men , perhaps they 'l advise you to Oil your Locks every Saturday night , and line your . Pew-dore with Cony-skin Furr . But I 'le tell you of a greater inconvenience than this , and that is the Translation of Hopkins and Sternhold . I may call it a Common Nusance to the Service of the Church ; a Translation ( to use Mr. Abraham Cowley's expression ) that hath revil'd David worse than Shimei . You shall find the famous Dr. Don bewailing the scandal that attends the Church by reason of their permission , and utterring his complaint in these passionate Expressions : For I must not rejoyce as I would do , When I behold that these Psalms are become So well attir'd abroad , so ill at home . Dr. Patrick gives this Character of it , That the words are mean & uncouth , and that the sence of the Prophet is often mistaken . To say truth , the words are opprobrious to the present Language , to all Rhime , Reason and common Sence . To satisfie your Judgement , I will give you a tast of some passages , but not so commonly taken notice of , beside those already obvious . But Lord , out of my Mothers Womb I came by thy request . Do you believe now , that ever David was so unmannerly , as to tell God Almighty , that his Mother had never brought him into the World , unless he had desir'd it ? Now for down-right Barbarisme , Lord , when wilt thou amend this gear ? Why dost thou stay and pause ? This seems to me to be a kind of expostulating with God for taking too much consideration . This that follows is quite out of season : I shall depend thy Grace upon ; With all my heart and Lust. What use young and illiterate persons may make of such a provocative as this , I leave you to consider : For they are ignorant that Lust had two significations before , and now but one . In another place he would make you believe that the Universe was govern'd by some ordinary Mechanick . For , saith he , — Their hearts were nothing bent To him nor to his Trade . It put me rather in mind of the Shoemakers Saint , and the Knight of the Burning-Pestle , that run away from their Master Take this peice of modesty or immodesty , which you will , for 't is as you please to interpret it , and then I have done . Her inward parts are wicked plain . These and a whole Regiment of horrid Barbarismes of the same nature , together with the sordid Nonsence and villanous Rhimes that attend 'em ( if they may be so call'd , because so intended , such as Piller and Hopper , and a thousand more ) are accusations and proofes sufficient to prove 'em guilty , and to condemn 'em ad Cloacam , as a dishonour to all Divine Worship . Priest. All this is nothing , the people will sing ; and should you bring in new ones , they will say we are bringing in Popery . Mery. This , indeed , is the common Crape-gown excuse : Much like what was alleadg'd in the Council of Trent , That no alteration in Divine-worship was to be made , tho' for the better , for fear of intimating a fallibility before . But I hope our young Crape-Gowners are better taught at Sam 's Coffee-house than so ; or else they keep their Sanhedrims there to little purpose . But there is another reason , these Gentlemen are so addicted to Haranguing , that they have no time to spend in mending Psalms ; as if the gingling of an Alamode Sermon were the only Musick that pierced Heaven . And thus you see I am as much for the honour of the Liturgy of the Church of England , as you can be for your life . Priest. Well , because you clos'd with me before , I will close with you now : For I must confess I never look'd upon Sternhold and Hopkins to be Poet Laureats , of all the men in the World. But you know , Sir , now-a-days , there 's more got by one Play , than by Twenty Volumes of Divine Poetry . Mery. And then another thing is this too , your Crape-Gown men sit musing i' th' Vestry over the Church-Wardens Half-pint , till the beginning of the last Stave of all ; and so never hearing the Old , what should they concern themselves with a New-Translation ? Besides , they have most of them very ill voices , or such an aversion to Harmony and Concord , that they care not a straw for singing ; believing farther , that God gave them their voices only to baul , and not to sing . Priest. Well , well , jeer on , you 'l get nothing by 't , Heraclitus will pay ye off ; he 's a parlous man : He and the Observator are to take upon 'em shortly the Title of Subdefenders of the Church . Mery. There is one Indecorum yet remaining which I have frequently met with , and desire you to give me your judgement of it . It proceeds from the pride and vanity of several Crape-Gown men , that Preach more out of Ostentation than Instruction . Priest. What 's that ? Mery. Why , 't is your Church-Huzzaing , or Hum-humming in the Church . To this end you shall have the Popular Chrysostom , would be cantonize his Oration into so many parts , as he may think it proper , so expect Hums . Each of these parcels of sublime Eloquence are tipt at the end with a most glorious Euphonema that cries chink i' th' close , which charms your ears and dazles your understanding both at a time , and then the Gentleman makes a Sembrief rest , and looks about him . Priest. And what then ? Mery. Why , the signal being thus given , the Church is streight in an uproar , Hum , hum , hum ; Hum , hum , hum ; in so much that you would even admire the Bells don't ring backwards of themselves . To these kind of Sermons , there are wanting only a Prologue and an Epilogue to entitle 'em either to the Buskin or the Socc , according to the quality of the Subject . Priest. Oh , I find where you are , you would not have an Eloquent , Orthodox Minister encourag'd . Mery. Yes , but not like a Player : For by the same rule , you may as well hiss 'em , when they displease , as hum 'em up , when they tickle your ears . And besides , it shews very ill , at the same time , to reproach a Meeting-house , and make a Theater of the Church . Priest. Well — I shall tell the Observator and Heraclitus what you say , they 'l give you an answer I 'le warrant ye ; I remember your three Accusations , Pew-clapping , Sternhold and Hopkins , and Church-Huzzaing . Mery. Do so , and commend my Service to 'em , and tell 'em , there 's no-body ever car'd a straw for 'em yet , that had either Wit or Sence in their Heads . Priest. But you were talking , I remember , a little while a-go of Size Sermons , Anniversary Sermons : and Guild-hall Sermons , What have you to say against them ? Mery. I say still , I do not like your State-Sermons ; 't is such a piece of Pageantry as was formerly us'd to Preach up the Titles of Princes : Sometimes the Scripture was for the House of York , sometimes for the House of Lancaster ; 'T is such a Spiritual Agency in Secular Affairs , that nothing can be more Jesuitical . You may know what a Clock 't is , by the Chiming of the Cathedral Pulpit . Priest. Oh Sir , upon extraordinary occasions , and in extraordinary places , men come to shew their Parts and their Learning , not their Divinity . Mery. There you say something indeed ; For now-a-days , down-right Divinity , is accounted no more than down-right Dunstable : Which you may gather from the usual answers to the common Questions . What is such a one ? A good , honest , plain , down-right man. What is such a one ? Ay , marry Sir ! there 's a Quaint man indeed ! He 's a yerker ye saith ; He claws of your Fanaticks . Good God! what a strange itch of being accounted a Quaint Man has infected our Crape-gown Gentility ! And yet there is no understanding man , but will give more attention to one of Gifford's plain Sermons , than to a Hundred Theological Orations , that make the Pulpits roar like so many Matrasses of Aurum Fulminans , under the Guard of an ignorant Chymist . Priest. What of all this ? Mery. Why , I say , that Satyr and Divinity are ill-match'd ; they look like a White and black Horse i' th' same Coach. Satyr is one thing , Reproof another ; the latter for the Pulpit , the former for the Stage . And therefore the Booksellers have a pretty good Prospect of the Business , while they lay out so exactly Play and Sermon , Sermon and Play , that a Man might almost play at Chess upon their Stalls ; and in the course of the Game , here snap a Rook upon a Play , there a Pawn upon a Sermon . Nay , it is come to that pass too , that Plays and Sermons are both of a known value ; Twelve Pence one , Six Pence t' other , come as many as will : Nothing so certain as Plays at Twelve Pence , Sermons at Six Pence a piece , and Long Thread Laces , two a Penny. Priestl . I see whereabouts you are ; You are for a dull , heavy , flat , insipid Sermon , without Salt. Salt savours all Things , saith Salomon the wise ; and if All Things , Sermons . Eene eat your Shoulder of Veal by your self for me , if you will give me neither Butter nor Oranges . Merr. Why then , it seems , Rayling against the Phanaticks , as you call 'em , is Sawce for a Modern Sermon . Priestl . It both embellishes , and takes to boot . And besides the Phanaticks are now the onely People , that have Abettors and Upholders ; Alas , as for the Pope or Anti-christ , as ye call him , he ( good Man ) is in a sinking condition ; the King of France is tearing from his Head the Third Part of his Triple Crown ; And would it not be an ungentile Act , to trample upon the Unfortunate ? But the Fanaticks are Rampant , and headstrong : They are for Petitions and Associations ; They are followed by Throngs , and Multitudes . Merr. That 's no fault of theirs ; if the People finding their Doctrine to be as good as Yours , are more taken with their Plainness , than with your Flashes , your Extasies , and Raptures . Priestl What should the People follow them for , like a Company of Phanaticks , as they are ? Merr. What They d'ye mean ? Priestl . Why I mean the Phanaticks . Merr. Who are the Fanaticks ? Priestl . Why — the Fanaticks are the Fanaticks . Merr. Very well — I see you do go to Church sometimes , you repeat so well . What a happy thing 't is , to hear an A-la-mode Sermon ? A Man may bring away the greatest and chiefest Part of it in a smart Epitome , without the troublesome help of that Mark of the Beast , call'd Short-hand . — But what sort of things are these Phanaticks ? are they Men or Mice ? Priestl . They are such as the Observator and Heraclitus call Phanaticks . Merr. They ! Why , they don't know themselves who they are . Priestl . I care not for that ; I believe in Them ; and whoever They be , that they call so , are so . Merr. Y' are a Fool. — They get their bread by calling Men Phanaticks — They 'l call you Fanatick if you vex ' em . Priestl . Gad — if they do . — Merr. What then ? Priestl . I 'le tell 'em , I love the King. — Merr. So do Thousands and Thousands of those they call Phanaticks , more to the purpose , and more Substantially , than ever they did , or ever will do , or are able to do ▪ Priestl . What d' ye mean by Serving the King Substantially , and to the purpose ? Merr. I mean , They that obey all His Civil Commands exactly , and both can and do pay their Taxes , and their Duties well ; and are as ready to serve Him with their Swords i' their Hands ; Not Beggars , that cry God Damn 'em , God Bless the King , that live only upon the spoiles o● His Bounty . Priestl . Well , but for all that I will not see my Parsons abus'd . — Merr. Your Crape-Gown men , d' ye mean ? Priestl . Yes . Merr. There 's no body abuses 'em , they abuse themselves . — Priestl . As how ? Merr. Well — now I come to them — 'T is to me the greatest wonder in the World , that so many Six Penny Cuts should buz about your Eares like Dor-Flies in Summer ; ( for their impatience is such , that they cannot stay till they amount to a Volume ) considering nevertheless , as if they lay under the Engagement of the Self-denying Ordinance ; with what a strange Reluctancy , what an inestable Unwillingness , what an unspeakable Constraint , they are forc'd , press'd , and urg'd to expose the Six Penny Embryo , either an Obliging , Caressing , endearing , bountiful , munificent Lady , that cannot , must not , will not , be deny'd , obliges , under the high , and never to-be forgiven Penalties of Ingratitude . — Or else the most Beneficial Patron beseeches , obsecrates , entreats , implores , nay will have it so ; or else Authority Commands ; Subscrib'd Wag-staff — And then out comes the Sermon , like Oyl of sweet Almonds , squeez'd between two Tin Plates — sometimes it slips forth like a wet Cherry-stone between your Thumb , and fore Finger , without their knowledg . — Priestl . You 'l tax 'em with Hypocrisy , by and by . Merr. By no means , Dear Sir — I onely shew ye , what plunges they are put to , to get rid of their Modesty — Self conceit crys , Out with your Sermon , Sir , — No pray , Sir , don't , cries Modesty ; And then she lays before him a hundred Arguments of Infirmities , Unworthiness , want of timely Notice , alias Surprize , and the like — Out with it crys Vain-glory , 't is as good as ever was tipp'd over Tongue , Sir — And this is the poor Man so tortur'd and tormented , that he can take no rest ; till at length Eager desire of Applause , plause , pittying his Condition , fetches one great Person or other to sollicite for her , and so Friendless Modesty is forc'd to withdraw behind the Curtain . Priestl . I tell ye , Sir , these Sermons are the Lights , by which we discover the Gentlemens Parts . How should we see the Gentlemens Parts , if they hid their Lights under a Bushel ; that is to say , if they did not Print their Sermons ? Merr. Prithee let 'em Print their Sermons , till Fools Cap be Five Pound a Ream if they please , but then let 'em Print 'em without Epistles and Dedications , or such at least wherein 't is plain their words , and their minds have as little Coherence , as their Texts , and their Sermons . Priestl . Hoyty-toyty , — They shall come to You , to know what Epistles and Dedications they shall make ! Merr. No-no , Sir , I never expect it — They have a Guide of their own , that knows how to apply himself to Ladys and Gentlemen of all sorts and Conditions . Priest. Well then , pray set your Heart at rest — I say they shall make what Epistles and Dedications they please , so they Preach against Forty One. Merr. Hush — you don't consider how the Observator has of Late disturb'd the sweet sleep of Forty One ; and therefore , prethee be thou more merciful . Priestl . Merciful ! what to Forty One ? I 'le wake him and wake him , and keep him awake like a Lancashire Witch — but I le make him Confess . — Merr. What ? Priestl . That the Presbiterians hold King-killing Doctrine , like the Jesuits . — Merr. — Good now harp no more upon that string . Priestl . Harp no more upon that string ? Gad I 'll go and do your Errand to the Observator and Heraclitus immediately . — Merr. Do so — but in the mean time harp no more , I say upon that string — For if the Presbyterians do hold King-killing Doctrine , They Learnt it from the Church of England Men. Priestl . Ye Lye. — Merr. Patience — or I 'le call the Constable . — Priestl . Call the Devil — I say ye Lye. — Merr. Govern your Passion , Sir , d' ye understand Heraldry ? Priestl . Yes . Merr. Why then , Observe — Edward the Sixth's Church of England - men begat Queen Elizabeth's Church of England - men — Queen Elizabeth's Church of England - men begat King James's Church of England - men — King James's Church of England - men begat Charles the Firsts's Church of England men — Charles the First 's Church of England men begat Charles the Second's Church of England men . — Priestl . Begat , and Begat ? Why ; I don't think the Church of England men dropt out of the Skie . — Merr. That 's not the point . — Priestl . — What then ? Merr. Why , then I say , you do not Read in any Story , since the Growth of Christianity , that ever any Crowned Head was ever brought to a Formal Barr of Justice , till MARY Queen of Scots was Arraigned , Try'd , Convicted , Sentenc'd , and formally Beheaded by Queen Elizabeth ; and the Clergy were a part of the Body , that pressed and urged the Queen to hasten her Execution . Priest-l . The Interest of the Protestant Religion then requir'd it . Merr. Oh! but your Bathonian Doctor tells ye , you must not do ill , that good may come of it . How strangely the Case is alter'd ? Queen Elizabeth mig●●●ut a Sovereign Prince to Death to secure the Protestant Religion , but now 't is a crime to exclude a Popish Succession that menaces the destruction of it . Priest-l . What d' ye talk ? now I think on 't , she was a Plotter against the Queen . Merr. Could ye blame her for Plotting ( though she absolutely deny'd it ) against a Person that kept her from the Enjoyment of her Kingdom ? One that had deceiv'd her with Chains and Imprisonments , after she had made choice of her Kingdom for Sanctuary and Assistance . Priest-l . Well but now I think on 't again , I have something to whisper in your Ear , in the behalf of Queen Elizabeth . Did not Jehu and Jehoiadah cause Jezebel and Athaliah to be put to death ? Merr. That won't serve your Turn . — They were neither of 'em Sovereign Princes . The Queen of Scots was an Absolute Princess ; nay , She insisted upon Her Sovereignty too , and Her not being Accountable to any , but God : But nothing would do ; She that came for Succour , met with a Heads-man for all that . Priest●l . Well , I 'll say this for Queen Elizabeth , tho She be dead and gone , That I am confident She would never have done it , could She have told how to have avoided it . Merr. That may very well be ; for we find , that the Nobility , and Chief of the Clergy would never let Her be at quiet , till She had given Order for the Execution . And therefore 't is plain , that the Church of England-Men did hold King-Killing , or Queen-Killing Doctrine , which is the same thing . So that , if Knox , Buchanan , or Calvin first taught the speculative Part , the T'other first put it in Practice , and set the Fatal President , that Others follow'd . Priest-l . Grant it were so , — the Case is alter'd now . — Tempora mutantur & Nos mutamur ; What our Fore-Fathers did , is nothing to Vs. Merr. The same thing may be said of the Presbyterians , who always disclaim'd the Fact , were the First that endeavour'd to prevent the Vnfortunate Tragedy , and the First that put their helping Hands to the Restauration of the Right Heir . It cannot be imagined , but that the Queen of England , Restless as She was , what to do at that Conjuncture , consulted the Choicest of Her Divines and Her Chaplains , in point of Conscience ; and it is as evident , that they in some measure satisfied Her , by the Event . So that either they spoke against their Consciences , or else they were of that Opinion , which you condemn in others , but cannot discover in your selves . Therefore keep close to Your Texts , and let Six Hundred Forty One sleep in the Bed of Oblivion , lest you wake Five Hundred Eighty Seven about your Ears : Who , should he be once conjur'd up , will hardly be laid again by all the Skill of Sam 's Coffee-House . Priest-l . Well , well . — Leave it to Them. — They 'll find out a way to salve all this Business , I warrant ye . Merr. This I only speak ( Neighbour ) to put you in mind , that there were formerly , certain People in the World , called Pharisees , Persons that always extoll'd their Own Holiness and Vertues , and laid Crimes and Miscarriages to the Charge of Other Men ; perhaps , not so guilty as Themselves . More than this , I find by one of the great Satyrists against the Late Times , Nebuchadnezzar but very odly justifi'd , for putting out Zedechiah's Eyes . We do not wonder at the Ruin of Zedechiah , nor was the Ruining of him a Crime on Nebuchadnezzar's Part. Priest-l . He gives ye a Reason , I warrant ye . Merr. A notable one . For ( says he ) Absolute Princes are Co-ordinate , and stand upon the same Level ; and if upon sufficient Provocations the one happens to gain his Neighbour's Crown , the Fact is Just by Right of Conquest . Priest-l . Well — what think you of it now ? Merr. Truly I wonder I did not meet with this Argument in the King of France's Declaration , to Justifie his Invasion of Flanders . But how does this justifie the Ruining of Zedechia ? For if the King of France should Conquer the King of Spain , it does not presently follow , that the one must put out the others Eyes . Priest-l . But if the one be Subordinate to the other , which was clearly the Case of Zedechia , the recovery of the Crown is in the Supream Prince an Act of Justice , and the punishment of an inferior Prince who abjureth his Fealty , is by all Nations allow'd to be a Righteous Act of Vengeance . Priest-l . Could an Angel have said more ? Merr. An Angel ! Why I say this is all nonsence . For there was never any such thing as Subordinate Soveraign in the World. A Soveraign Prince though meaner in Power , is equal in Priviledge and Dignity to the most puissant . When he becomes Tributary , he is only Titular , and no Soveraign . If Zedechia were Monarch of Judea , he was equal to the Assyrian Monarch , and it was a crime in Nebuchadnezzar to ruin him , and put out his Eyes . And I would fain know , what Nation i' the World , ever thought it a Righteous Act of Vengeance , to punish a Tributary Prince for endeavouring to recover his People and himself , from Thraldom and Sworn homage , to which the Fortune of War had reduc'd him . If Zedechia were only Nebuchadnezzars Slave , his Viceroy , or Substitute , then the Case alters in●eed ; but to talk of punishing Subordinate Soveraigns , is to countenance the crime , against which the Gentleman was exclaiming all his Sermon along . Priest-l . But Nebuchadnezzar all this while did not cut off Zedechiah's Head. Merr. Truly much at one — For Chains and a Head without Eyes , could be no extraordinary comforts to a meaner Man then Zedechia . Priest-l . Well Sir , the Sermon was a good Sermon , and the Gentleman meant well . Merr. And I wish him the Honour he deserves , that Nebuchadnezzar were now alive to make him his Chaplain . Priest-l . There 's no need of that ; He is already Chaplain to a Great Person , and serves a fine Gentleman . Merr. That he does with a Vengeance — For you may read him acknowledging himself the most abject Slave in the World , to pin a piece of Flattery upon his Patron . Priest-l . Where have you pick'd up that ? Merr. In the Dedication of the Sermon before mention'd to the D. of S. in these Words . So far am I from owning that Principle , That man is born free , That I Confess my self and all that bear my Name , to have inherited such a State of servitude to your Lordship , as if according to the Mosaical Custom , Your Noble Ancestors had bor'd the Ears not of our Progenitors only , but of their whole Issue . Priest-l . Will ye blame him for his gratitude ? Merr. By no means ; but this is such a piece of gratitude , as never was heard of , to disown himself Born free , to involve his whole Generation without their consent , and entail a perpetual slavery upon his Succession , for Chaplain-Entertainment , and admission to the First Course . I cannot tell what large possessions he may hold from his Patron in soccage ( For he will not allow 'em in Frank Almonage ) but certainly they cannot be so great as to entitle Him and his Posterity to such a Servitude as he would fain aspire to . For if he disown his Freedom in a Theological Sense , he denies the Scripture ; if either in the Ethical or Political Sense , let him have what Opinion of himself he pleases ; we are not bound to believe his Paradoxes , and deny our selves one of the chiefest Blessings that Heaven and Nature has afforded us . — Licet , ut volo , vivere ; non sim Liberior Bruto ? Priest-l . Don't tell me , I 'de not give a rush now adays for a Complement without a Hyperbole . Merr. That 's as much as to say , Your Worship loves to be Flatter'd — May that happiness attend your Worship — 'T is Prince-like indeed — But for my part , I am for none of your Hyperbolical Complements , especially in Dedications to Sermons . For it shews there may be much of Poetical License in the Sermon too , that follows . But wee 'l leave the Gentleman to have his Ears bor'd by his Patron ; and consequently mark'd for what he professes himself to be ; and pass on to the Quintessence of Courtship ; such a piece that I do not find the like in all the Academy of Complements . His first Oblations are to the Mother in this Seraphick Phrase . For as for your Ladiship , I must beg Pardon of your Modesty to say , That your great Prudence and Piety is a sufficient guard against all Temptations to those sins , which in this following Discourse are found guilty of all the Miseries and Mischiefs of mankind . Prist-l . Bless me ! What 's here but a Zealous Complement ? Merr. A Complement , Sir ! Why 't is the Elixir of the Miseries of Love and Eloquence . It ought to have been written with the Quill of an Angels wing in Letters of Gold , and sent upon the Wings of a Lark to St. Winifreid . Priest-l . Do you know Sir , what the Lady is , or what her Vertues are ? Merr. No Sir , neither will I derogate from them . She may be a Lady after Gods own Heart , for ought I know : But I am sure it was such a sufficiency , that neither David nor Solomon with all their Prudence and Piety could ever boast of . And therefore it argues a high piece of Sycophantism , to attribute those praises and sufficiencies to Mortal Frailty , which are meerly supernatural ; and for which the Person himself is forc'd to beg pardon of the Ladys Modesty before he can proclaim ' em . 'T is palpable he strain'd hard , and that his Brains were upon the Tenterhooks for a piece of purse-opening Sublimity . Priestl . Why , what if it did produce him Twenty broad Pieces , or so ? what then ? Merr. Nay , he deserv'd it double for what he afterwards gives to the Son. Of whom ( says he ) I think , I may without Complement , say , That he seems to be so made by Nature , as if God had on purpose fram'd him , to demonstrate the Beauty and Lovelyness of Virtue , to those of his Quality , in this Degenerate Age. Priestl . And all this may be real — For ( he says ) he speaks it without a Complement . Merr. Nay , by your leave he does but think so neither . — For my part , I wish the Dedication may not have prais'd the young Gentleman out of the World — For 't is the General Observation , that Persons of such rare perfections seldom live long — I remember a Gentlewoman that lost a hopeful Child once , and the Nurse gave that reason for it . But you do not Observe , Sir ; Here 's a young Gentleman made by Nature , and Fram'd by God , and the Master-piece of both it seems . So that if there should be never another such a Pattern in all His Majesties Dominions , you must not think it strange . Priestl . Truly , I must confess , this is something an Incomprehensible Complement . Merr. Nay , he goes higher yet . Priest-l . 'T is impossible ! Merr. Yes he does ; and that most soaringly too . For ( says he , speaking of the aforesaid Gentleman ) so naturally is he inclin'd to all good , and averse from any thing that is evil , that one would almost think that he alone was exempted from that General Corruption and Depravity of Nature , which all other men derive from Adam . Priestl . 'T was well that Almost came in , in Time — My Hair began to stand an end . Merr. You see he has made the young Gentleman Almost a God upon Earth . Had it not been for that Almost , and one single Imperfection more in the Gentleman , that he suffer'd this Complement to be made him , not much more could have been attributed to the Humanity of Christ himself : and you are also to mind the word alone , upon which the stress of the Complement lyes . Priestl . 'T is ill plac'd — I don't deny it — But yet I would fain find out an Excuse for this Gentleman — because I believe him to be a Tory. — Merr. Do you believe this to be a Hyperbole , or no ? Priestl . Yes — I tell ye . — Merr. Why then you must believe it be a sublime Piece of Flattery : And yet this was done by one that arraign'd and convicted all the Sins of Mankind — Your Humble Servant , Robert Wensley . Priest-l . Well — but you shall make an excuse for this Gentleman . — Merr. Troth , I can't do it — you must e'en go to the Great Excuse-Forge in Ludgate-street — there you will find the Lay-Chairman of the Crape-Gown Committee , whom you may first Fee , and then Employ — But the jest is this , that after the Gentleman has Seraphim'd and Cherubim'd the Lady and her Son , he wishes them all the Happinessess of this World , and that which is to come ; as if the Latter could be deny'd to Persons so supernaturaliz'd , and fitted for Heaven . Priest-l . And thence you infer , that the Gentleman spoil'd his own Complement . — Merr. I do so . — Priest-l . — I am glad on 't withall my Heart — For now will I make that pass for a good excuse , as I 'le manage the business . — Merr. — Well make your best on 't — for I am now proceeding to other matter — Can you Preach before the Artillery Company ? Priestl . Not I , in good Truth . — Merr. Why then , I 'le tell ye — If you would Preach before the Artillery Company — Priest-l . Prithee why can 't the Artillery Company March to the hewing down half a score Chines of Beef , but they must have a Sermon , like a Generals Speech to encourage 'em to the Battel ? Merr. Nay — I can give you no great Reason for that ; but if you will Preach before the Artillery Company , you must make a Military Sermon , I 'me sure of That . — Priest-l . As how ? — Merr. Why — you must be certain to take a Text first , wherein you find the word Soldiers ; that Common sense will teach ye . — Priest-l . — And what then . — Merr. Why then Ephes. 6. will help ye very much . But because that Chapter is too well known you may pass it by cursorily , and come to the more Novel terms of Art , as Drums , and Beats : For Example , if you would give 'em a hint of the Late Times , as it is very expedient to do , you must say thus , — When the Pulpit was the Drum , and Curse ye Meroz the Beat. By way of Reproof you may tax 'em for Cashiering their Honour by Vice , and suffering themselves to be beleaguerd by their Lusts. A Wing of Miscreants , the Muzzle of a Gun , or the Swords Point are very proper Expressions . Forewarn 'em too , that they be not Pioneers to blow up Religion . Priest-l . That 's an Improper Expression . — Merr. 'T is no matter for that — 't will do well enough in a Pulpit — And besides you 'l find most of the Red Feather men asleep — Then you may compare a good Conscience to a Sentinel ; and be sure to bid the Souldiers take great care of Leaping over the Lines , and breaking their Ranks . Priest-l . But where are the Blunderbusses , and the Bandeleers all this while — Merr. I believe they were forgot — but I found that the Souldiers came to John the Baptist like a Forlorn-Hope , and that they came in the Rear too . Priest-l . O but I would have had Bandeleers and Blunderbusses in . — Merr. Why Sir , I believe there might be some sort of Blunderbusses among ' em . — Priest-l . I do not mean such Blunderbusses — I mean discharging , Firing Blunderbusses , such as will kill a Man of Ten Thousand a year . — Merr. What would you have had him done with ' em . — Priest-l . Discharg'd 'em , ( had their been a hundred ) against the Phanaticks . Merr. Why there were a sort of People , that the Parson was very angry with ; but he charged them so furiously himself , that there was no need of any other assistance . Priest-l . Well , but where are the Culverin , and the Demiculverin ? were there none of them neither ? Merr. They never March with them — They are too troublesome i' the street . Priest-l . Well , — but the Gentleman might have put two or three into his Sermon , tho — Merr. Why , Sir — He did as well . — He had several Thundering Expressions . — Priest-l . Had he so ? And he was truly angry , you say ? Merr. Truly angry , Sir ! as a Man ought to be , that preaches before Souldiers . — Well , but would you now Preach acutely among the Lawyers ? — Priest-l . What then ? Merr. Why then , you must use another sort of Dialect , as thus : God resents the Treason , grants a particular Commission of OYER and TERMINER , Finds the Bill , and presently gives Sentence . In an Assize-Sermon you ought to be very Quaint , and Magisterial — To tell the Judges their Duties , the Counsel their's , the Jury-men their's , and the Plaintiff and Defendant their's . Then you are to give the Judges particular Directions about the Giving of Oaths in this manner , That they ought to take care , that Oaths be administer'd in all Courts of Judicature by those of greatest Authority present ; and not by the Cryers , who are generally young , heedless Clerks , and only mind their Groats . — Nay , you may tell 'em , if you please , that No Man ought to take an Oath , after he has eaten his Breakfast . If you speak of a thing doubtful , you may say , You will Return a Jury of Twelve Primitive Bishops , or more , ( and then , I suppose , it must be a Grand Jury ) all good Men and true , to prove it . Or thus : If these things be so , I require him to prove it ; if not , St. Paul's Doctrine will be found Billa Vera in Heaven . Priest-l . But what need of all this ? — What necessity for a Size-Sermon . Merr. Only to give the Counsel time to take their Fees , and read over their Breviates — I could never find any other Reason — And therefore I have known some Judges pretend haste of business , and desire the Gentleman to keep his Sermon Cold till another time . Others I have known , when the Gentleman has been too tediously wrapt up in his own conceits , that have gone out of the Church ( and you know the Croud follows the Scarlet ) and left him to talk out the rest to the Pillars . There was one Young Stripling was mighty severe upon the Judges , and their Clerks ; but when the Judge came to the Mayors House , whither he was that day invited , he found ( by a fatal mischance ) the same Sermon in the Mayors Window , Printed long before . Priestl . However there may be some benefits reap'd by these Sermons . Merr. Which way ? As for Example in the Case of Judicial Swearing , to talk of the Pythagoreans , the Grecian Laws , the Ancient Germans , Jupiters Old Priests , and Kata tou Meizo nos Homnyousi , to the Judges , they are too well qualified , as to understand much more than their Teacher ; and for the Vnder-Sheriff and his Talis-men , as they understand not what was said , so they regard it as little . I would fain know how far the League between Hannibal , and the King of Macedon will affect them ? or how far it will operate upon a gaping Country Fellow , to bid him not Swear in vain ? because Tertullian disallows it ? These things are to be press'd upon the People in plain home-spun-Kersey Sermons ; not in finical Flanders , lac'd Harangues to the Judges . Either they preach to the People , or the Judges . — But they don't Preach to the People , for they can't understand ' em . — Therefore they Preach to the Judges ; and that 's but Ill Manners . Lastly , You are to terrifie 'em with the Day of Judgment ; which , to put in proper Terms , you may call The Grand Assize , where all Writs of Error shall be rectified . Priest-l . Well , but if they will Preach , I think t is very proper , that they should use Words and Expressions adapted to the Subject . Merr. 'T is very right , Sir. — It tickles the Fancy , as you would tickle ones Eare with a Straw : however to knock terms of Art out of joynt among Artists , seldom produces more then Laughter and Dinner-Discourse . Priestl . I must confess , I would not have a man in an Assize Sermon tell the Judges a Story of the good Samaritan ? Merr. That 's very proper , Sir , — For a Judge may poure the Balsome of Recovery upon a Gentleman 's almost Lost Estate . That will hold , Sir. Priestl . Nor would I have a Man talk to a Company of Seamen , like a Dancing Master . Merr. That 's very well too , Sir — For a man may say , the Ship Dances in a rough Sea , very properly — nothing better . I tell ye Sir , a man of Art and dexterity ( to speak in Theology , like a Seaman ) may bring any Text to bear upon any point of a Subject he pleases . — As for Example , to prove the Power of King's , and particularly of the British Monarchy . A Gentleman takes this Text , Psalm 51. vers . 4. Against thee only have I sinned . Priestl . This is a great Argument — For he that can only sin against God , is accomptable to none but God. Merr. Sir , I do not here go about to dispute the Power or Absolutenless of the British Monarchy . For we have Secular Arguments of greater force to prove that Thesis , were the Pulpit ( as it ought to be ) silent as to those matters ; but only to shew , that it cannot be prov'd from this Text , notwithstanding the dexterity of the Gentleman to traverse it , and to make it bear upon that Subject . Priestl . Well — proceed . — Merr. In the first place , I would fain know , why David should aim at that time , more particularly in the 51 Psalm , to assert the Power of the British , than of the Spanish Monarchy . For my part , I am apt to believe he was otherwise emyloy'd , then to think of either . In the next place , I conceive the Gentleman does not take the Interpretation of the words right . For the words L'ke L'babka Chatathi ; Against Thee , against Thee only have I sinned , were without Question utter'd in reference to the privacy of the Fact committed , which lay conceal'd from all the World but God ( Joab being then an Accomplice ) and David having recompenc'd the Injur'd Lady by Marriage . Which the very next words , explanatory of the first , and to them annexed , and made part of the sentence , by the Coputative Ve , seem to demonstrate . V ' Harang B'gneneka Gnasithi : And the evil I have done in thy sight ; not in the sight of any other . And therefore he makes this Confession ; to what end ? not to shew that he was unaccountable to none but God , but to justify the Almighty in what punishment he should inflict upon him ; as the last words of the Text demonstratively imply ; L'magnan tit sd●k b'dabreka , tizkeb b'shaphreka , To the end thou maist be justify'd in thy Word , and pure in thy Judgment . And therefore these words seem to be grounded , more likely , upon Davids calling to mind the Words of the Prophet Nathan , Sam. 12. v. 12. Thou didst it secretly — but I , &c. To which this Confession seems to have referrence . For there was then no difference between the King and his People , nor my reason for the King to Appeal to Heaven , about his Power . And this is that which makes me believe , there is no more ground , to prove the Power of the British Monarchy , from this sorrowful Ejaculation of David , so dreadfully alarum'd by the King of Kings himself ; then there is to prove the Jurisdiction of the British Parliaments from the 2. Sam. c. 5. v. 3. So all the Elders of Israel came to the King to Hebron , and David made a League with them in Hebron before the Lord. I would wish the Gentleman for Arguments sake next time to take this Text in hand , and try what he can do with it : For if he can but find out what that League was that King David made with the People , we should sooner find by that , whither David were accountable to none but God or no , then by his Text. Priestl . I must confess , I don't understand your Hebrew , not I ; but my thinks 't is a very pretty Text. Merr. The Text is a very good Text , but you can't think the fellows that are hang'd were accountable to none but God , because they sing the very words at the Gallows . — But I suppose you have heard of another Gentleman , and he 's a Sharper — I mean He that undertakes to prove the Unlawfulness of the Bill of Exelusion from Job . the 36. c. 21. v. upon this Ground , That it is not Lawful for a Man to do evil , that good may come of it . Priestl . Yes , I have hear'd of him , and I suppose you are of the same Opinion . Merr. Truly , I belive there are many things which that Gentleman may call Evil , which Reason of State will not allow to be so . And I believe , that State Policy , is not bound to be confin'd , to his more narrow approhension of things , nor to take his Direction in things , wherein he has nothing to do to give it . It may be said , that it was not Lawful for Queen Elizabeth to assist the Prince of Orange , to advance the Protestant Religion ; but yet she did it , without taking notice of his Maxim - ▪ A Captain of a Man of War being too hotly engag'd , and like to be taken by the Enemy , is bound to sink his Ship , and blow up , it may be , three or four hundred Men , rather than deliver his Charge to the Enemy . One would think it were an evil in it self to destroy so many Innocent Souls , and Subjects of the King , yet unless this evil be committed , that good may come of it , that is to say , the Preservation of the Princes and the Nations Honour ; that Captain shall be shot to Death , by the Laws of War , if he do not do it . So that in what is evil , or what is good , They who are managers of the Publick Government of Kingdoms and Principalities , are not to be guided by the Little Rectors of Parishes . Priestl . Well , I must grant , this was a little too farr strain'd — And truly I think the Texts were ill chosen too ; the one from the words of a Suppliant to God , and the other from an Exhortation to a Person , Permissively under the Clutches of the Devil ; but now I shall never have done with ye . — Merr. Upon my word , Sir , I 'le give ye but one more of this Nature . — Priestl . Well proceed . Merr. A Parson not long since Preaching at Chertsey , Sir , having undertaken to prove the Excellency of Monarchy , takes his Text Judg. 17. vers . 6. In those days there was no King in Israel , but every man did that which was right in his own Eyes . Priestl . How could this be ? A Government without a King , and yet an Excellent Monarchy ! Merr. Oh Sir — you see they have the Art of doing these things . Priestl . Well , but how did he do it ? for I am in great Expectation . Merr. Why , Sir , he prov'd it from several evil accidents , that happen'd at that time , for want of a Monarch . — Priestl . O' my word — a very good way . — Merr. First — Micah made a Molten and a Graven Image , and an Ephod , and a Teraphim ; which was , because there was no King in Israel ; for had there been a King in Israel , there had been no Idolatry . Priest-l . This is but an ill Beginning . Merr. Secondly , The Levites taking a Concubine , and her playing the Whore against him , was , because there was no King in Israel . Thirdly , The Ravishing of the Levites Concubine was , because there was no King in Israel , for had there been a King in Israel , the Levites Concubine had not been Ravished . Priest-l . Enough . — Merr. Nay , Sir , I have no more at present . — Priest-l . Gad , I smell a Rat ; this is some Whig-Story of your own Invention . Merr. Whigg me no Whiggs ; — I understand no such Names of Distinction . — But I know more than one , or two , or three , that heard him . — Priest-l . Then he is — Merr. Why , Sir , he keeps his Foot-man . Priest-l . Does he ? Then he 's high enough ; what need he Play the Fool , for Church-Preferment ? — Merr. But what d' ye think of that Bathonian Squire , ( for I can hardly call him Minister ) that rides Tantivy , Tantivy , against Jack Presbyter , as he calls him , with his Lance couch'd in his Rest , like Don Bellianis of Greece , as if he would overturn him at the first course ? Priest-l . Why truly , I find him in a very great Passion . Merr. Yes , in such a Passion , that you may read his whole Book in his Title-Page , and discover the Rancor of his Mind in Thirteen Capital Letters . Priest-l . But they affronted him , it seems — Merr. Affronted him ! Where was his Christian Charity ? Because a single Person Topham'd him in the Bath , therefore must he , like a pretended Attorney-General of a Minister , undertake to impeach a whole Order of Men , that contend with him in Principles of Divinity and Morality , and most certainly out-do him in Preaching . Priest-l . But you know , There are some things ( as the Proverb says ) will vex a Saint . Merr. And truly , it was a most Saint-like Designe , to revenge himself upon the Presbyterians , by endeavouring to prove the Vnlawfulness of the Bill of Exclusion , from the Afflictions of Job . Priest-l . As to the Revenge , I can say little ; but as to the Ingenuity of the Business , I find you do not apprehend it . Merr. As how ? Priest-l . For had the Bill pass'd , it might have been an Affliction to the Parties concern'd . Merr. I 'le swear , Friend Priest-love , you have hit it ; I did not apprehend it before . Priest-l . Well , — but what say you to the Sermon it self ? — Merr. I think it not worth the Name of a Sermon . — In short , it is such a meer Tongue-Granado , such a Composition of Brim-stone and Fire , that I wonder it does not kindle of it self , and fire the Book-sellers Shop . And , in a word , the Author may be call'd the Tory's Hick●ringhil . Priest-l . Well — have ye done now ? Merr. I have only one Request t' ye , because I know y' are a great Frequenter of Sam 's Coffee-House , to desire those Gentlemen , ( especially the Historians ) either to let alone their Quotations ; or else to cite 'em so , that we may find 'em to be Men of Reading — Priest-l . Why , what Exceptions do you make against their Quotations ? Merr. Why , Sir , I find the Author of the Present Miseries of Sin , telling my Lord Mayor the dreadful Example of Sylla , who in a violent Fit of Rage , vomited up his Soul , mixed with Blood and Threatnings . For which he cites Valerius Maximus , whom he calls a Historian . In the first place , Valerius Maximus was no Historian ; but only a Collector of History . In the second place , Plutarch and Pliny would have told him , That he did not die of a Violent Passion , but of a Phthiriasis , or the Disease call'd Morbus Pediculosus . Priest-l . But you see Valerius Maximus was best for his Turn . Merr. That 's true indeed ; — and I would have allow'd it at Paul's School . In the next place , he tells ye of Alexander the Great 's killing of Clitus . And for this he cites Oliverius's Notes upon Valerius Maximus ; whereas he might have quoted Plutarch or Arrianus for the same thing ; and that had been done like a Schollar . The Story of Ptolomy , King of Cyprus , is in Plutarch's Life of Cato ; so that he need not have been beholding to Oliverius's Notes upon Valerius Maximus for it . Priest-l . What 's that to you , if the Gentleman had a peculiar Kindness for Valerius Maximus ? Merr. Dear Mr. Priest-love , I bear no Malice to Valerius Maximus in the least : Only I say , 'T is somewhat pedantick , to quote an Index , when a Man may cite the Book it self . But I more wonder , that a Doctor should cite Cicero , for a piece of History ; about the Romans enacting Laws against the Worship of strange Gods , when he might have adorn'd his Margent much more to the purpose , and more properly out of Livy himself . Priest-l . Why should you be angry at this ? Merr. You mistake , Sir ; I am so far from being angry , that since Quotation and Margent-filling are only Acts of Vain-glory and Ostentation , I would not have Gentlemen unwarily lose their Applause by ill Management . — I promise ye , I expect that some of 'em should Thank me for this good Advice . Priest-l . Ha' ye done now ? — Merr. Yes , Sir. — Priest-l . Why now then let me ask thee , What is the Meaning of all this Clutter and Hurly-burly ? Certainly , it must be the Phanaticks , that make it . — Merr. Faith , Sir , I can give no Account of it ; but I find the Church of England-men are very Angry . — You cannot come to hear or read a Sermon made upon any publick Occasion , but let the Text be what it will , half the Sermon is Matter of State. — One cries out against the Popish Protestants ; another cries , Pope Populus in Parliament ; another , no less than a Parson-Justice , lifts up the Weavers-Beam of his Indignation , and lays upon the Parliament of the whole Nation , as if he had engaged all his Divinity for the Certainty of the Mortal Stroke . The Weight of his Text was Two Hundred Shekels of Silver — By me Kings reign . — The Weight of his Doctrine , a Hundred and Fifty : — That Monarchy is Jure Divino . — The Weight of the rest , you may guess by what follows : — They that Reign , ought to be Kings ; not Commonwealths , not Lords and Commons ; not Parliaments , ( especially Parliaments , that by bare Votes would abrogate Laws ) not Parliaments , that by Arbitrary Proceedings would infringe the Liberty of the Subject ; not Parliaments , that would Exclude the Right Heir from the Crown ; not Parliaments , that are Guilty of High Treason . — Was it not well now the Parliament was not at Thetford ? Else , for ought I know , they might have been Committed . — Priest-l . I confess , Zeal may sometimes a little exceed . — However , they are Men , and Rational Men ; and sure they would not do this , but that they have some Reason for it . Merr. Why truly , Sir , I believe some think it pleases , and therefore they do it in hopes of preferment . Others , out of an over-weaning pride , and conceit of Themselves , and contempt of their Brethren . And then , i' the next place , there is such a Numerous Fry , that Hunger and Thirst after Maintenance , and so few Bones i' the Nation , that they snarte at all , who pretend to share with ' em . If you will hear their own Acknowledgment , the Author of the Properties of Heavenly Wisdom , confesses , that the Quarrels are sleeveless , de Lana Caprina , as he calls it , about Habits , Gestures , Days , and other Ceremonials . Priest-l . Why then , one would think , such Differences as these , might easily be laid asleep , by a Charitable Condescension on both Sides . Merr. Ay — but then again , says the same Author , the Confused Noise of Pro and Con , Ob and Sol , I may add Whigg and Tory , drowns the Voice behind us , which tells us , This is the Right Way , walk in it . We find also , that some Men are obstinately attack'd to their own Opinions ; and these are a sort of People , who believe that mutual Love and Charity are only owing to those of their own Sect. Priest-l . That 's contrary , I am sure , to the Scope of Christian Perfection , and the Precepts of Christ , and His Apostles . Merr. What care some Men for that ? especially they , who are guided by that Maxim of Hell , divide & impera . Interest , you know , Sir , has Govern'd the World , how long d' ye think ? Priest-l . Why truly , I believe , ever since I can remember . Merr. Why , there 's the Grand Cause of all our Misfortunes . If you would but remove that Obstacle — Priestl . Why then I 'le propose a way — What think ye of a National Council ? Merr. I dare not undertake to propose it , Sir ; But as to that I 'le give ye the words of the Author of the Old Way of ending new Controversies . A National Council ought more especially Oblige us , to determine the Controversies among us ; because their Decrees are our own Acts , as having chosen the Persons who represent us in it . Priestl . Very honestly spoken , what think you ? — Merr. That 's a thing to be left wholly to Authority — I have nothing to do with it — But in my Opinion , there is a Worthy Gentleman has put your Friends into an Extraordinary Method . Whither they will follow it or no , I cannot tell ; but I am apt to believe it is much more wholsome advice , than is given them by their adored Guide , to whom they bow at Sam 's Coffee-House . And therefore because they shall not be offended with me , I will give them the Gentleman 's own words . It is not material ( says he , ) from whence bad Men derive their Principles of Disloyalty , since it is too certain , they owe all their Success and Advantages to our sins ; as these increase , so do they ; they have both one Common Fate , they multiply and decrease together . Our prophaneness and Contempt of Religion , begets in them a Contempt of Authority and the Laws ; and the neglect of that Holy Service we pretend to extol , adds greater Numbers to our Enemies than all their Art and Industry can pervert . If we would weaken that Faction , let us take away the support they have among our selves , the Open Scandal and Viciousness of our Lives , and then they are left without pretence , and fall without our trouble . Let us confute their Reproaches by a Reformation of our manners , and detect their Hypocrisy , not by washing off the paint with Satyr , but by confronting their pretence and form with solid and sincere Piety . Without this , all other means will be to little purpose . Without this Loyalty is but affectation , a thing no less unserviceable than it will be uncertain . And with this I will conclude ; firmly believing , if this advice were follow'd , all Thundering in Pulpits , and Caballing in Coffee-Houses , would soon be at an End. FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54793-e70 Smith , de Graecae Ecclesiae bodierno statu . Preface t● his Pindarick Odes . Poem upon Sir Philip Sidneys Translation . Friendly Debate . Psal. 22.9 . Ps. 35.18 . Ps. 55.26 . Ps. 78.37 . Ps. 55.12 . Psal. 78. Sermon Preached on the Anniversary of that most Execrable Murder of K. Charles , the First Royal Martyr . 1682. p. 6. Sermon call'd The present Miseries and Mischiefs of Sin. Humble Plea for the Quiet Rest of God's Ark. Assize Sermon , Preached at York , call'd the Nature , &c. of Solemn Judicial Swearing , &c. Mark of the Beast , p. 26. Primitive Christian. p. 26. Sermon Preached at Wakefield Octo. 30th . 1681. pag. 13. pag. 19. Sermon Preach'd At Bow - Church , Jan. 30. 1682. Bow-Church . Bath-Church . Thetford-Sizes . pag. 28. P. 32. M. Maurices Sermon , Preached before the King , Jan. 30. 1681. 
A70611	----	Montelions predictions, or, The hogen mogen fortuneteller discovering as plain as a pike-staff, the dark intrigues, and grand catastrophes, carried on, or designed in most parts of the world. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1672 Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 8 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A70611 Wing M2492B Wing P2094 ESTC R7227 12027880 ocm 12027880 52686 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A70611) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 52686) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 873:2 or 1153:4) Montelions predictions, or, The hogen mogen fortuneteller discovering as plain as a pike-staff, the dark intrigues, and grand catastrophes, carried on, or designed in most parts of the world. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 15 p. Printed by S. and B. Griffin, for Thomas Palmer ..., London : 1672. Attributed to John Phillips. Cf. NUC. "With allowance, May 11, 1672." This work appears on reel 873:2 as Wing P2094, and on reel 1153:4 as Wing M2492B (M2492B cancelled in Wing CD-ROM, 1996). Reproduction of original in the Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Prophecies. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2004-10 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MONTELIONS PREDICTIONS , OR THE Hogen Mogen FORTUNETELLER . Discovering as plain as a Pike-Staff , the Dark INTRIGUES , and Grand CATASTROPHES , carried on , or Designed in most parts of the WORLD . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 With Allowance , May 11. 1672. LONDON , Printed by S. and B. Griffin , for Thomas Palmer , at the Sign of the Crown in Westminster-Hall , 1672. MONTELIONS PREDICTIONS , OR The Hogen Mogen Fortuneteller . ALthough we have ever been of Opinion , that the best of our Modern Prophtes have been only the most Lucky Guessers , and find the Press already opprest with Swarms of Prophetick Pamphlets , no less numerous , than Impertinent . Yet that the Blind World may see our Skill , either in Astrology , or Coskinomancy ( that more Mysterious Art of the Sieve and Shears ) is not a whit inferiour to the busiest of our fellow-Students , we have resolved on the Question to oblige the Publique ( we mean Hawkers , and Coffee - Houses ) by delivering our Sentiments on the present Conjuncture of Affairs , induced hereunto ; for that not only our Brother , the Apollo of Clerkenwel Green , hath for some time disappeared to Mortals , being ( as we are credibly informed ) gone to Visit his Nurse at the Antipodes , but also because the heretofore active G●osequil of our beloved Pupil , the renowned Poor R●bin , is of late grown Dry and Stubbed , yielding little more than the Dregs of Red-Lettice Wit , or nauseous Repetitions . These Considerations we hope will be Apology enough ( even in a Critick Conscience ) and to offer more Reasons for Writing a Single-sheet Pamphlet , would be Absurd and Unmodish , since many of our great Authors now a dayes can shew none at all for their more Voluminous Scriblings , we cannot ( to deal Candidly with or Readers ) pretend to any Visions , Apparitions , Revelations , or strange Voices , though perhaps that excellent new Invention of , The speaking Trumpet ( subtlely manag'd ) might put not a few Giddy Heads on that account , into a Dotage beyond Tom in the Wood's . Angels either Coelestial , or Golden , we dare not boast Familiarity with ; Comets they say are Generated above the Orb of the Moon , and so are too high for the Jacobs-Staff of our groveling Understanding , to find out their particular portents . The old new Star in Cassiopeia we shall not medle with , though we have heard our Nodding Grand-Mother in a Winters Evening , discourse thereupon so profoundly , till she fell a sleep ; not trouble our self with any Oppositions that may happen between Saturn and Jupiter , as not desiring to Interpose in a Quarrel 'twixt Father and Son : Nor yet shall we put our selves to the unnecessary Charges of Building up Twelve Houses ( meer Castles in the Air ) in an Ill favoured Schem , not but that we Ken the Knack of those Coelestial Scotch-Hoppers too , as throughly as the most Huffing Taylor i th' Town : But out of pure Aversion to those Hackney Roads of Figures and Characters wherewith some pretend to Score out the Fortune of a Year , and Fate of Empires , in Terms so uncertain and ambiguous , that they may be Verified in any future Contingency whatever , we decline all those Amuzing Parades of Art , and without Clouds and Amphibologies , in plain English , and in Rhyme too , that I may appear the more Prophetick , do declare , The Time 's now come must bring to pass , What Fates have Wrote with Pens of Brass . That Rebel Rout , whose swelling Pride , Princes Contemn'd , and Kings defi'd : Before bright Sol his Journey take , Three times a round the Zodiake , Shall be Reduc'd to more Distress , Than in the dayes of Royal Bess. Great York , the Neptune of the Main , Their Insolence shall once again Chastise , until they are become , Poor suppliant States of Belgium : And at his Brothers Royal Feet , Submissively begg , as 't is meet . That he would lay his Thunder by , And take them to his Clemency . But because ( according to the Grand Method we have alwayes pursued in our Writings ) a more particular Account of the grand Matters impending may be expected , we proceed in the Stile of the most celebrated Sons of Art , and with all Caution and Sincerity , say : That from the vast preparations , both at Land and Sea , the Declarations of War lately Published on either Side , several Lowring Aspects of disaffected Planets , their Quarrelsome Positions at their vernal Ingress , and diverse other Secrets in Art , we may ( on good grounds according to the Doctrine of the Antients ) Prognosticate : That some Ruptures are at hand , or Acts of Hostility designed , or ready to break forth into Action in some parts of the World. And since Cancer is the Horoscopical Sign of Holland , and that none loves Butter'd Crabs better than a Dutchman ; we are indu●ed to believe those very United Provinces may much be concerned in the formidable Catastrophes , whereof these Ph●enomina are the Indubitable Prod●omt . Not that we find by the abstrusest Rules of Geomancy , that the Hogen States are any more likely this year to Establish the Fifth Monarchy in an Universal Common-Wealth , than Sa●othy Levy , to Revive and Recollect the Ten scattered Tribes , for taking Possession of the Holy Land : Yet are we more than Confident , that Sage Aphorism of the late Deceased Plagiary Tresmeg●●us in his Temple of Wisdom , will shortly be ●●●uied to a hairs breadth , viz. That wherever contrary Fleets , or opposing Armies happen to meet , Contests will be apt to arise , and that several Persons by means thereof , may chance , against all Rules of Physick , to be Let Blood i th' Dog-days . About or rather much before which time we also discover , There will be heard strange and unusual Noises at Sea , to the great Affrightment of the Dolphins , and spoyling the Musick of the Syrens : The Planets startling from their Orbs with wonder , To hear our Guns below out-roar their Thunder . Immediately after which , the long contested Soveraignty of the Narrow-Seas shall be decided by a most equal Distribution , the Surface remaining in the Possession of his Majesty of Great Brittain ( the undoubted Proprietor ) and his Valiant Subjects , whilst the Bottom falls to the share of his usurping Enemies , as the just Reward of their unparalled Ingratitude ; thereby replenishing the hungry Stomacks of Neptunes Scaly Inhabitants , who now Exercise Lex Talionis , and by Devouring their Devourers , produce of Metempsychosis of Bodies , that Pythagoras never dream'd of . For whereas a Dutchman is little more than Stock-fish , and Red-herring Fleshified , our Crabs and Fresh-Cod , will now be only Dutchmen Fishified . Thus a Ravenous Shark unnaturally Feasts on the fat Paunch of his own Brother , an overgrown Burgomaster , whilst Margery the Cook-maid startles to find the Finger and Seal-ring of Myne Heer , in the Belly of a Mackril , and the Rotterdam Frows deluge themselves in Tears for the loss of their Swil-Bottles . We further find by the Hermetick Learning , ( For so of late our Quacks do call , All Tricks if Strange and Mystical . ) That Coffee-Houses ( the Mint of Intelligence , and Forge of Lies ) shall bee much frequented ; and many a Pragmatick Fop spend his Six-pence there over Night , to hear News , that knows not where to get a Dinner next Day ; who then with folded arms and croaking Guts , does Pennance for his foolish Curiosity . To supply these Randevouse of Idleness , with continual Novelties , the Press Spawns abortive Pamphlets , that swarm Abroad as thick as Flies in Autumn . And Fame sets up a Cheating Lotery , where for a Prize of Verity , you 〈…〉 forty Blanks of Falshood , and in a whole Volley of News scarce meet a true Report : We do not find his Holinesse much Inclinable to entertain thoughts of Marriage , but rather that if his Fancy should grow a little Rampant the Cholick and Stone , would mainly Obstruct his Delights in the Caresses of an Olympia . And seeing he Labours under so many Crosses , we cannot but reprove the uncharitableness of some Gifted Brethren , who in their Little Conventicles , Rail so desperately at a Civil Grave old Gentleman , whom they know no more than the Pope of Rome : The Grand Seignior may yet in spight of some foolish Prognosticators ( who seven Years have threatned him with a Peck of Troubles ) Live a long time as merry as a Fiddler , if the Mufty will but grant him a Dispensation to Drink now and then a Glass of Sack , but his Viziers Corn cutter will probably be hurried with multiplicity of Business : His Mightinesses Toes being sorely afflicted by reason to tedious Marches towards Hungary . The Crym Ta●ter in the midst of his Triumphs , is Tipt into his Grave by a Surfeit on Stew'd Truans . And may the Guardian-Angel of Green-Aprons , protect some eminent Senators nearer Home , from being choakt with Custaras , or admitted Knights of the Noble Order of the Bull-Feather , at a Masquerade : Stephen Ratzins , Brother Stenko , seems Instigated by Venus , Lady of the Seventh , in his Radix Retrograte , to send an Env●y Extraordinary to the States General , to demand in Marriage the most Ill●ustrious Bessabel , Daughter of the much Celebrated Van-Cobler-Hewson , that they may make a prudent provision for Futurity , and propagate a pretious Seed of Rebels and Boutefeus , to disturb the Peace of the next Generation . Munsterus that Hermaphrodite of State , who with his Crosses in one Hand , and Sword in th' other , looks like a Royston Crow of two Colours , parte per pale , Ingrail'd , Lay and Clergy , hovers with a wary Subtlety over the Heads of the furious Combatants ▪ till Fortune declare on whose Crests she intends to Plant the Laurels of Victory , or takes up the Swissers Trade , and Cries , Who bids most for 30000. But Manet alta mente repostam , There is no playing one Game over Twice . Quo teneam Vultum mutantem proce a Nodo ? What shall restrain him from the Breach of 's Vows , That to no Altar , but 's own Interest Bows . If the Forces of the most Christian King chance to set down before Maestricht , that unhappy Town will be in some Danger of a Seige , and rare it will be to see there so much Belly-Timber for a Breakfast , as is Confounded at a Guild-Hall Dinner ; but a dried Sprat is excellent Commons for those in a Strait , that in their best Days thought a Red-Herring a Feast . Holland Cheese we confidently predict , will be a dear Commodity , but Butterboxes never so Cheap and Contemptible , it being but just all Nations should Bandy to Exterpate them , who have Confederated to Abuse all the World. If they have any Assistance , it must be from beyond the Line : For what Christian will be a Second to such Insolents ? Nor can they appear Formidable since the Brandy that was wont to Inspire them with Valour is now prohibited . To conclude , Englands Genius soars high , the Lillies flourish , and may they ever retain their Colour ; the Emblem of Integrity , the Justness of our Cause , the Conduct and great Example of our Leaders , conspire with our native Courage to bespeak a Victory . And though we know the Innate Valour of our Noble Seamen , and others concerned in this Expedition , needs not to be raised up by Hobling Rhyms , of a sorry Bard , yet to fill up their other Sheet , and that the Reader may be sure to have enough for his Two-pence , we have thought very fit to add this Ballad Loyal . A BALLAD LOYAL . I. YOu Sons of Honour , that dare die ! To serve your Native Land , And for your King and dear Country . The Shock of danger stand , Now prepare For the War , Shew the world your glories , Do such deeds As must needs Live in future Stories . 2. Go on brave Hero's ! you can't misse The Road to Victory . Where Mighty York High Admiral is , That Soul of Gallantry , He whose Name Rides on Fame . And must still more prevail , Till it make Flemmings quake , And humbly strike their sail . 3. Our Ships like floating Castles ride , The Waves are proud to bear 'm They deafen Thunder each Broadside , The Dutch or Devils must fear 'm , No place can boast , Besides our Coast Vessels so great and good , So many too , That Strangers do Think al'our Downs a Wood. 4. Then pray what mean these Hogen States ? ( It passes our Construction ) Insolently to dare their Fates , And tempt their own Destruction , On Shore and Sea Ruin they 'l see On every side surrounding Brave Monmouth's hand Wasting their Land , Great York their Fleets confounding . 5. Dull Dutch ! can you forget when we , In three Fights quell'd your pride , Not long since when our Brittish Sea With your base blood was dy , d , And dare you then Fight us again : What honour can it be To beat a new Such Slaves as you , Whom we before made flee . 6. If Rebell Noll could make you bow , And 'fore him trembling stand , How think you fools to resist now , The mighty Charles's hand , Can it be said Against our Head You 'r likely to prevail , Who heretofore , Were glad t' adore , And cringe unto our Taile . 7. Wherefore Brave English Seamen all Rouse up your valours fire Couragiously upon them fall Make the dull World admire , Let not your breast Harbour a Guest , That treats of fear or flying , Let not a thought Centre in ought , But conquering or dying . 8. So may you vanquish still and take Rich Prizes every day : May no tempests your Vessels shake , Nor Rock lie in your way . So may you bring To our Great King A compleat Victory . And he bestow Again on you , A fit Gratuity . 9. If any of you Sacrifice , Your hearts at Cupids Shrine . May no Coy Wench your Love despise , Nor to you prove unkind ; But may they all Before you fall , As 't is indeed their duties : 'T is reason such , As conquer Dutch Should Triumph over Beauties ; 10. May all your Wives prove Chast and be , As deaf to Gallants charms , Whilst you are out , as Penelope , When her Lord was in Arms. Thus will we pray Each night and day , Till homewards you are bound Your deeds with praise Your Heads , with Baise , In glorious manner Crown'd . The POST-SCRIPT : SInce Mr. Lillies Predictions in his admired Almanack for the Year 1654. have made so much noise in the World , we cannot but think it convenient to transcribe from that celebrated Author a Short Prayer , which we think as pertinent to the present conjuncture of affairs , as any of the rest , which follows in the said book in these word , , God grant us Vnity in the Church and give the Presbyterians so much love unto their Native Countrey , as to rejoyce when we worst the Dutch , and not to flag down their heads like sorrowful Rabbies at our Successes . FINIS . 
A55123	----	A pleasant conference upon the Observator and Heraclitus together with a brief relation of the present posture of the French affairs. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1682 Approx. 90 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2004-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A55123 Wing P2540 ESTC R4454 13197954 ocm 13197954 98431 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A55123) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 98431) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 434:7) A pleasant conference upon the Observator and Heraclitus together with a brief relation of the present posture of the French affairs. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [2], 38 p. Printed for H. Jones, London : 1682. A satire on the Tories and their periodicals. Attributed to John Phillips. Cf. NUC pre-1956. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Tories, English -- Early works to 1800. Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1660-1688. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-07 Aptara Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A PLEASANT CONFERENCE UPON THE OBSERVATOR , AND Heraclitus : TOGETHER With a brief RELATION OF THE PRESENT POSTURE OF THE French Affairs . LONDON : Printed for H. Iones . MDCLXXXII . A Pleasant Conference UPON THE OBSERVATOR and HERACLITVS . ABout the time that the third Head of Cerberus had set the Watch for the other two that were fallen asleep , in came a Spirit Booted and Spur'd , and commanded the Gates of the Infernal Palace to be opened : which was immediately done , without a word of Pray Sir remember the Porter . Who should this be , but one of Lucifers Emissaries , that he had sent into this world to Eves-drop for Intelligence , to keep Company , to counterfeit sometimes Tory , and sometimes Whigg , and make what Discoveries he could . Lucifer had been Gaming most part of the night , and was very drowsie , when they brought him word that such a one was attending below : but understanding his business , he ordered him present admittance . May it please your most Illustrious Highness , said Belfagor , for that was the Name of the Plutonian Emissary , You sent me into the other world to make Discoveries ; and it was upon this ground , for that you believed your two Brorhers , Iupiter and Neptune , had been injurious to you , in giving you the worst share of the Vniverse , and therefore you were resolved upon new pretensions , to make an Exchange or an Invasion , and not be confined any longer to Shades or Tenebrosity . And to this purpose you sent me to discover the Genius of your intended Subjects . Sir , take my advice , and stay where you are . For as for your Brother Iupiter , I have made some inquiry after him , but find him to be althogether worn out of date ; so far from being Adored and Worshipped , that you shall hardly hear him nam'd , unless it be now and then in a Thunder-thumping Tragedy . And for your Brother Neptune , 't is said that the French King has bought him out of all his Dominions , and intends to be Lord of the whole Ocean that flows between both the Poles himself . And for the Earth , I mean that part of the Vniverse where those Creatures call'd Mortals live , the fore-mentioned French King , no more dreaming of Mortality , than you of dying , is resolved to make himself the Universal Monarch of it . To which purpose , he daily goes on , vexing , tormenting , and incroaching upon his Neighbours , that no body can live in quiet for him . No Leagues will hold him , no Faith will bind him up ; so that altough your most Serene Sootiness wel● know how much you are bound up , if you only Swear by Styx , yet is he so regardless of those things , that i● you mind him of his Treatie-Attestations , he presently shrugs up his shoulders and laughs at ye , — as much as to say , — he knows better things . — He buyes Towns by whole-sale , and I wish you yourself may be safe from his Treasure . Pluto . Let him be never so rich , and never so great a Ruffler , I think I am able to match him both in number and wealth . Belfagor . I grant it , Sir , you excel him in number , but then , alas , Sir , what signifie your Millions of Skeletons , shadows only of Men , that live merely upon the Air , to encounter with so many thousands of well-disciplined Sa , Sa's , whose bones are covered with hard flesh , and outwardly ●ortified with ●loaths and Armour , within with Beef , Pudding , Strong-beer , and Canary , which they will have if it be upon earth . — Then for your wealth , Sir , — 'T is true , you may make these Mortals , especially the most active , they 'l do e'en what you please for your Money ; but then again , they are so Quarrel-some , so Mutinous , so Seditious , so Turbulent , so restless , that you who have raigned always in peace , and in perfect Unity with your own Natural Subjects , and with so much aw and Arbitrary Dominion over Forreigners , will never endure to be pestred , harrased , worryed , hampered , and perplexed , by these humane Terrestrials , as you must expect to be . Pluto . But how if I can get in by Conquest ? Belfagor . Ah , Sir , I would not have you attempt it , for they 'l be too hard for you in two things ; the one side will out-pray ye , and the other will out-swear ye ; and then pray tell me , what will become of all your Millions ? all the vast Army , and all the numerous Captains that Miltons Paradise lost musters up for ye , they 'l all do you not a pins worth of good . Pluto . This seems somewhat strange , I thought I could have dealt well enough with Mankind ; I am sure I find the proude●t of 'em all tame enough here . Belfagor . That 's nothing , Sir , when they are incarnate they are quite another thing ; and therefore if your Sootiness will not believe me , you had best go incognito , and try your self . Nay , Sir , to tell you more , there is in one little spot of the Terrestrial Globe , a place called Plotter● Island , which you may easily cover with one of your Princely Black Thumbs , where they are in the strangest confusion imaginable ; and all about a business that I am sure you would never trouble your head with ; much less would endure to have your rest disturbed , your repose disordered , and your pleasures interrupted for it . Pluto . Prithee what 's that ? Belfagor . Religion , Sir , or , at least , that 's the grand pretence . Pluto . I believe that which you call Plotters Island , is Sicilie ; for that Island is monstrous hot , as they say , as having a continual burning Mountain in it , fancied to be the vent of my Kitchin Chimney , and therefore it may be rationally thought to have some more than ordinary influence upon the heads of the people . Belfagor . No , no , Sir , 't is called Plotters Island , where all the Inhabitants are under Disguises , Jealousies , Fears , and Misconstructions ; one man calls his Neighbour Whigg , and his Neighbour calls him Tory ; another man calls his Neighbour Fanatick , and his Neighbour calls him Tantivie-man . Pluto . By the Mass , I never heard of such feat Names be●ore . Belfagor . No , Sir , I believe you did not ; but 't is come to that pass now , that all the Goosequillers are got into the field , skirmishing continually , without any thoughts of Winter-quarters . Pluto . The Goosequillers , prithee what are those ? who commands them ? Belfagor . Why , may it please your most Serene Sootiness , they are for the most conversed with in the shapes of Men , but I rather look on them with a partie per pale prospect , half Devil , half Man. The great Generals of the Parties are , General Observator , General Heraclitus , General Advice from Rome , with several Brigadeers of lesser fame , as Col. Fetterlanio , &c. Pluto . What sort of Weapons do they use ? Belfagor . Pamphlets ▪ Sir : You may go into a Coffee-house , and see a Table of an Acre long covered with nothing but Tobacco-pipes ▪ and Pamphlets , and all the se●ts full of Mort●●● leaning upon their Elbowes , licking in Tobacco , Lyes , and Lac'd Coffee , and studying for Arguments to revile one another . Pluto . How comes all this to pass ? Belfagor . By vertue of a certain Devilish Engine , Sir , of your own inventing , called a Printing-press . Pluto . Ay , but all this while these are only Tools ; who are the Artists that manage and handle these Tools ? Belfagor . Sir , the Inhabitants of the Island told me , those Artists were great friends of yours ; that is to say , the Pope , and certain Viperous Animals of his fostering , called Priests and Jesuits . Pluto . O hang 'em , they 'd embroyl my Kingdoms too , if they could ; but thou knowest what massie Bolts and Locks I have been forced to keep 'em under , ever since I smelt 'em out , and what extraordinary corrections I give to keep them low and quiet . Well , but what pranks had these fellows been playing in Plotters Island ? Belfagor . Why , Sir , they have been playing the Devil with two sticks . They had set up a most cruel and dangerous Plot to destroy the Prince of the Island , and the greatest part of his best Subjects , which they call Hereticks ; but it being in time discovered , the design seemed so execrable , so detestable , so abominable , so pernitious and destructive to the very Being and Welfare of Mankind , that the Pope , his Priests and Jesuits , have been labouring all the ways imaginable to throw off the shame and ignominie of the thing from themselves ▪ and fix it upon the Hereticks . To this purpose they laid down this for a Maxim , That if the Prince of the Island were once set against that part of his Subjects which they most dreaded , and by them lately called Whiggs , and they provoked against the Government , he would not only be alienated from them , but be in a manner compelled , for his own security , to joyn with them against his new displayed Enemies . The design being thus laid , to imbitter the Prince against the Subject , & the Subject against the Prince , the Pope and the Jesuits embodyed themselves with the Tories , among whom credulity and heat of the brains raign very powerfully , and made them believe strange stories and Romances of the Whiggs , as if they were Machinating against Regal Government , setting up Republicks , building Castles in the Air for Garrisons , and lastly , that they intended to have seized upon the Person of the King ; Tales all as false as improbable , and such as have ridiculously , it seems , suffered since by the unsuccessful choice of the Witnesses and Proofs . Then the Observator and Heraclitus were left loose to bawl out Forty One , Forty One , Oh , Forty One , have a care of Forty One , beware of Forty One , Bow , wow , wow , wow , Forty One. Don't you remember , Sir , what a dreadful noise our Dog Cerberus made one night , when Theseus came Hectoring down hither , and broke your Highnesses Palace-Windows ? Pluto . Very well , for which Theseus gave the Cur such a confounded palt , after his manner , that his Tripple pate was forced to be noynted with butter and beer for six Months after . Belfagor . Well , Sir , even such a wicked noise do these two wide-mouth'd Melampus's make . And all this while the Tantivie-men spit i' their Mouths , collect silver sops for 'em among the rest of the Tribe ; and when they have reduced them into Aurum Potabile , present it ●or their farther incouragement . Having by these ways endeavoured to render the Subject suspected to the Prince , their next game was to render the Prince odious to the Subject , by advising him to recal his gracious Dispensation of severe Laws , and to cause penalties to be put in execution for the enforcement of their Conscience , of which the Whiggs are said to be extreamly nice and tender . A thing which the Whiggs lament very much , as knowing how little they vary in points of Controversie from the Tories . And the better to colour this design , they seized and imprisoned several of the Whiggs , and were so fortunate to hang a poor intruder ; by which means they thought to have struck at the whole Party ; but the ruine being circumscrib'd to his only Microcosme , the Intreague was buried with his Quarters . Pluto . So , then you say the Jesuits are they , that set the Tories and Whiggs together by the ears . Belfagor . You have it right , Sir , and they still continue the fewd . Pluto . All this while , good Belfagor what is a Tory ? what is a Whigg ? what are these Tantivie-men , these Observators , and these Heraclitus ? Belfagor . May it please your most Serene Tenebrositie , When I first came to hear of these uncooth Names , I was as much a gast as your Highness seems now to be ; I nere was so fraid i' my life , but that they had been some new inventions of the men of Schemes , to send us trotting about the world upon their Fools Errands ; but long it was not ere they began to make Characters one of another , or some body for them ; and that puts us out of those fears , all which I presently bought up , as well to inform my own ignorance , as your Highnesses curiosity . The first I met with was that of a Tory. Pluto . And where is it ? Belfagor . 'T is here in my paw , I intend if your Sootiness will give me leave , to read it . Pluto . Do so . Belfagor . A Tory is a Monster with an English Face , a French Heart , and an Irish Conscience . A Creature of a large Forehead , prodigious Mouth , supple Hams , and no Brains ▪ The Country-mans Description of him , was both Rhyme and Reason ▪ Roary , Whorey , Sworey , Scorey , That 's a Tory ; for Noise and De●●●chery , Oaths and Beggery , are the Four Elements that compose him : His Arms are those of Istacher , an Ass Cou●hant ; and his Mark is a Red Ribbon in his Cap , to shew , That he belongs to the Scarlet Whore , by her Bloody Lvery ; or else , you may take it for a Wedding Favour , That whenever Popery and Tyranny shall make a Match , he would fain be a Bride man. He seems descended from Esau , since he is so ready to Truck away an Invalluable Birthright for a French Kick shaw , and a Naus●ous Mess of Italian Pottage . Or if you will run his Pedigree higher , you may call him a Noddite , one of the Race of Cain the Murderer , that would fain be Persecuting his Brother , meerly because he is more Righteous than himself . Take our Tories in the State , and they are Caterpilers that Devour every green thing in a flourishing Kingdom , and would Stab Liberty and Property to the Heart , that they themselves like Beasts of Prey , might live wholly upon Sport and Rapine , ●it only to be Subjects to Neb●chadnezzar , when bereav'd of Humane sence , he hearded with the Wild Asses of the Desert . Though they boast themselves Englishmen , yet they act in all things as Antipodes to their Native Countrey , and seem rather Bogg-trotters Transplanted , the Spawn of some Redshanks , or the By-blows of the old lazy Lord-Danes , that once Domineer'd over our Ancestors . They are a sort of Wild Boars , that would root out the Constitution , and break the Ballance of our happy Government ; and render that Despotick , which hitherto has been both Established and bounded by Law. Fauxes in Masquerade , that with Dark-lanthorn Policies , would at once blow up the two Bulwarks of our Freedom , Parliaments and Iuries ; making the first only a Parliament of Paris : and the latter , but meer Tools , to Eccho back the pleasure of a Judge . They are so certain , that Monarchy is Iure Divino , that they look upon all people living under Aristocracies , or Democracies , to be in a state of Damnation ; and fancie , That the Grand Seignior , the Czar of Moscovy , and the French King , dropt down from Heaven with Crowns on their Heads , and that all their Subjects were born with Saddles on their backs . Your true Tory is as fond of Slavery ▪ as others are of Liberty , and will be at as much pains and charge to obtain it ; for he envies the happiness of Canvas Breeches a●d Wooden Shooes ; and extreamly admires the Mercy of the Inquisition . He rails at Magna Charta , as the Seed-plot of Sedition ; swears , that it was first obtain●d by Rebellion , and that all our Fore-fathers were Rogues ●nd Fools , and did not understand Prerogative . He wonders why people should squander away their time at the Inns of Court , or what need there is either of the Common-Law or the Statute-book , since the King might at any time , with quicker dispatch declare his pleasure in any Point or Controversie , and each Loyal Subject were bound to acquiesce , on pain of Damnation . Yet after all , his boasted Loyalty extends no further than a Drunken Health ; he Roars and Swaggers , but does not Serve the King ; he promises Mountains , and by Lies and Misrepresentations , gives false Measures , but performs nothing ; nor is it the Cause , but the Crust that he Barks for . Then in relation to the Church ; Tory is either a Crab-Protestant , that crawls backwards as fast as he can to Rome ; or at best , but the Cats foot wherewith the Romish Monkeys Claw the Protestant Religion till the Blood comes ; one that does their Drudgery , though he has not always the Wit to see it , and all the Wages he must expect , is Polyphemus's C●rtesie , to be Devoured last . He is a Flambeau kindled by the Jesuits , and flung in to make a Combustion amongst us . Whilst we were Hunting down their Plot with a full Cry , they slipt in their Deep mouth'd-Hound , who spending on a false Seent , diverted the Chase , and so the Popish Puss squats safe in her Form ; and now quitting the pursuit of the Foxes , he begins to worry the Sheep . He pretends high for the Church of England ; but as he understands not her Doctrine , so he dishonours her by his lewd Conversation . What a pretty pious Confession of Faith is it , to hear a Bully Cry , God-Dam-Mee , I am of the Church of England , and all the Presbyterians are Sons of Whores . ) Indeed , the only proof both of his Religion and Courage , is , that he swears most frequently by that Tremendous Name , at which , lesser Devils Tremble , and his Christianity consists in Cursing all those that he is pleased to call Phanaticks ; and Phanaticks he calls all those , that are not content to be either Papists or Atheists . His Tongue is always tipt with Dam-mee , and Forty One ; and so hot , ( being set on Fire of Hell ) that he is fain to drink Healths , ( sometimes to the Pope , and sometimes to the Devil , ) Sixty times an hour to quench it ; and then belches out Huzza's as fast , as Mount Strombulo does Fire and Brimstone . Whilst he clamours at Dissenters for not coming to Church , he thinks 't is Canonical enough to sleep over the Lords-day , to digest the Fumes of Saturdays Debauch , or take a walk in Guild-hall-yard , peep in at the Preacher , and presently retire to the Tavern for a whet to Dinner , or else to meet the Club of Witty good-mockers by Fleet-ditch side , and Droll away the day in Blasphemy , Ridiculing Religious Duties , or inventing Iack pudding Lies of some pretended Nonconformists Preaching . If he be somewhat of a more serious Temper , he is as very a superstitious Bigot , as any in the Papacy , he would rather have no Preaching , than that the Surplice should be left off , and thinks his Child not Christned , fit be not done with the sign of the Cross ; he counts Opus operatum sufficient , and if he have but been at Common-prayer , and made his Responses loud enough to drown the Clark , and had the Parsons Blessing , his Task is done and all is safe . Flesh on a Friday is more abomination to him , than his Neighbours Bed , aud he abhors more not to bow at the Syllables of the word Iesus , than to swear by the Name of God. He has got a New English Dictionary , framed by the Indefatigable skill of Heraclitus , and the Observator , whereby the Traversties the most Loyal honest sense into Blasphemy and Treason . Talk soberly of Religion , and he flaps you over the face with Heresie , Schism , Fanaticism , and Faction , or roundly calls you confounded Whigg , and so you are confuted . Urge never so modestly , Legal Fundamental Rights , and mention Irregularities , though in a place appointed to remedy them , he cryes out Rebellion ! Treason ! you Depose the King ! you Arraign the Government , &c. Mention the Commons of England , and the general sense of the Nation , and he exclaims , Dam the Mobile and your Appeals to the Rabble ; and yet at the same time Courts and Applauds Tag-Rag and Long-tail , the Cooks and Chandlers of New-Sarum , and such other Worshipful Patriots , for declaring their three half-penny Judgments of the highest Affairs of State , in their Addresses . And as for the two last Parliaments , every petty Chap-man or Apprentice-boy , takes upon him to Censure the grave Proceedings of those Venerable Senates , as malepartly as if they had been but a Company of Fidlers . Yet still he fears not God so much as a Parliament , but the reason why he Blasphemes the one , and Rails at the other , is , because as he really believes not a Future Judgement in the other world , so he puts far off the other ( to him ) evil day in this , and hopes to escape the Justice of both by the Mediation of Saint Noli prosequi . Pluto . Well , what 's the next ? for I like this so well , I must hear all the rest . Belfagor . Why , Sir , the next is the Character of a Whigg , but a thing so scurralously and weakly penn'd , that it cannot afford your Highness matter enough for one smile ; and therefore if you please , we 'll hang that by on the Jesuits file . Pluto . Do so , but what 's the next ? Belfagor . Why the Character of a Tantivie-man . Pluto . Come read that then . Belfagor . He is a jolly brisk young huff in Crape , Reperteeing , Rayling , Diolling , and Drinking ; his Library besides Comedies and Novels , are Grotius on the Canticles , his Votum propapacia , Ovid de acte a Mandi , Cassander , Pece Maimbourg , Sham History of Lutherism , and Bennets Spinoza , which you must know he reads for Confutation and direction only . As for his Religion , it is an Aristocracie , he can burlesque our little Discenting slaves at whom , while like a true Spiritual Venetian , he opposes the Priviledges of his Enthusiastick Parliament , to the Royalties of Holy Daddy ; and this under the specious pretence of their Liberties and Immunities , of the Gallicane and other Iure Divino Grandees , though he cannot for all that easily brook the Infallible Cheat ; yet should at this time of day go by the Elsabeth name of Anti-Christ . He is a Man-Midwife , and hath been for some years an Apprentice to Mother Celliers , yet affects a singularity in the Mysterie ; he would deliver the Monster with the heels foremost , all Systems in Theologie he dislikes , as savouring of Wittemberg and the Lake Lemaune , excepting this one concise and pithy one of his own compiling , which as being a lover of the art of climbing , he hath made in a Climax or Ladder , fashion thus ; No Christnings , no Salvation , no Salvation , no Grace , no Grace , no Bishops , no Bishop , no Salvation ; whence as clear as day light , Damnation to all Geneva men . His Church is much to large for a British-head ; for of late it reaches from the Isles of Orcades , to the Grand Seigniors Seraglio , and better fits the tearm of Fifth Monarchy Monsieur , then of a Protestant English Prince . He hath taken an Oath that his most Sacred Majesty , ( whom God for ever preserve from him and all false Traitors ) is in all causes and over all persons , in these his Dominions , supream Head and Governour ; and yet would perfidiously advance into his place , a Juncto of Forreign Mitre-men , wherein the very Pope if he 'll but for once disclaim Arbitrary power , and give his word to be Civil , may preside in pontificalibus . In a word , he is a servile Parasite , a proud Hector , the Cats foot to the Jesuit , an underminer of Civil power , a Monopolizer of base Spirits , a Disbeliever of Popish Plots , turns Faith into Pollicie , Religion into Intreague , and Devotion into Hypocrasie , Banters Heaven , abuses the World , and betrays his Country . Pluto . Belfagor , thou art a Rogue , I never laughed so heartily before ; specious pretences , and Bantring of Heaven , with a Rope to ' em . Well , the next . Belfagor . Why , Sir , the next , for the sake of dearly beloved Brotherhood , have so wrapt themselves up in one another , that I cannot read them distinctly . Pluto . Why then let 's have them as they are . Belfagor . The Character of the Observator and Heraeclitus Ridens . The one is a meer Fidler in Dialogues , the other plays the Treble to his Base . They skin and skarifie the Act of Oblivion , and teize about Forty One , till they loose it , to get Twenty shillings a week . After all their deep Contemplations , and delving in the Rubbish of the late times , the Observator keeps a great bustle in the world , to prove there is as much pleasure in borrowing discourse , as in stealing the affections of a young Lady against the consent of her Parents . He is one that tugs at the Labour Oare of Mischief , to turn the head of Conscience with his Tide . He and Heraclitus are the men , for whose sake Colledge may be in some measure pittied , for lying under the lash and sweet revenge of their Nonsensical and inhumane Triumphs . The Observator is one that Strange le thirsts and panteth after Adoration in Coffee-houses , and is the very Adonis of Sam 's in Ludgate-street ; where because he takes no Tobacco , he talks nothing but smoak . He and Heraclitus have reason to shake hands , in regard their Tails are so close tyed together , like Samsons Foxes , to fire the Nation . Neither Truth , Honesty , Reason , nor right Maxim of State do they consider , nor how to temper the various mixtures in the variety of Opinions ; suffering themselves to be carried away with the stream of present Transactions , and forgetting the rules of that profession , to which they both aspire , that there is Harmony in Discord ; which since it cannot be avoided , is to be well and artificially bound and sweetned , not exasperated . It may be questioned whether the Observator and Heraclitus may not more truly be said to be the Iack-puddings of the Nation , that play the Fool during the Fair-time , for the private advantage of them that set 'em at work ; or the Ignes Fatui , that endeavour to lead the people astray with their false lights , appearances of Reason only , and the evening-flashes and dazlings of unpondred truth . They are the common Receptacles of Contribution Drollery . Were every Mans Name to his Conceit , their Pamphlets would look like the Roll of Benefactors in Pauls , the true experiment of the Proverb , Tot homines , quot sententiae . It may be thought , that like Castor and Pollux , they were hatch'd out of a Leda's Egg , while they make such havock of Goosequils , and act the parts of officious Ganders over the rest of the vulgar flock : though it is not to be imagined , that the Capitol of the Common-weale should ever be saved by their clamorous impertinences , yet they may be said to be like Mongrels , that bark at Sowgelders . They are afraid of something by a sympathetick Compunction , yet know not what to call it . Tory and Whigg are the ground-work upon which they lay the Purle and Embroidery of their fictitious contrivances . With these implements , and other sheepmarks of distinction , they endeavour to raise a Civil War in every private Familie , to break and dissolve the harmless bonds of honest Society and Conversation , and Guelph and Ghibelline the Nation into confusion . Sometimes they are so confident as to name particular persons , and barbarously let loose the detested custom of the Vetus Comoedia , so long ago exploded by the Civil Greeks , to worry the Reputation of those that will not feed their humours . The Jesuit is now got a t'other side , and frisks it in his wanton conceits , like a fat Heifer in a rich pasture ; and chuckles again to see those that confounded his Real presence , and other shams of his prophane Idolatrie , now reviling and tongue-persecuting those that hope for the joys of Eternity by a better Sacrament . 'T is true , they are very merrie , but still they play like Melancholly Gamesters , the right hand against the left ; so that 't is no wonder they should win all they throw at . Only sometimes they get a Rub from Ludgate-hill , and then they crie , Hoop , here 's work for another week . But as one passionate word in scoulding draws on another , and the feud will never abate , while the heat and Fury of the animosities is continued ; therefore it were to be wished , that care might be taken for the suppression of all those Goosequil Pickerers . They are base and inconsiderate , more swayed by Pence , G●inies , and Irish Consciences , than by true Loyaltie or Reason . They make no distinction between Dissenters out of Faction , and Dissenters out of pure and Immaculate Consciences ; but run tempestuously upon a most undoubted Body of the Protestant Religion without exception . Masqueraded Champions , and it seems well paid for their Tilting . They consider not , that though Reflexions upon Sovereign Princes are abominable , yet the sober and temperate discourse of Libertie was always allowed . Besides , they can never be said to write well , who are not able to justifie themselves to all the Inquisitions of the Government wherein they live ; therefore neither the Observator nor Hera●litus can be said to write well , because the very noise of a Parliament terrifies them , more than the ratling of Thunder did Caligula ; it drives the one again to his Batavian Sanctuary , and without blast founders the Sayling Vessel with all its Cargo . Pluto . Why these are fine fellows indeed ! Well , but how Belfagor did you find these Characters to agree with the persons ? Belfagor . All the observation I could make was this , that they agreed well enough with some , but very ill with others . They hit the humours of the vain and looser sort of the one , and the more designing and turbulent of the other party , but never touched the rest , who are of all the far greater number . So that all this paperscuffling seemed to me , to be only to amuse the Vulgar and the Ignorant , and to raise a general combustion in the Nation , to the end the State-Salamanders might secure themselves in the flames . And for the Scriblers themselves , those great Generals of so many Battalions of Wast-paper , I leave to your Highnesses judgment , for I am sure it will one day come to that , whether or no they would not write for your Sootiness upon occasion , being such as only for the present farm out their extravagant fancies , and lowly surrender themselves to be the Tools of Mischief and Disorder for a little immediate gain ; wherein they are yet so unsuccessful , as not to gain the least conquest upon men of Reason or Discretion . Sir , did you ever hear of Forty One ? Pluto . Yes , and was my self a great actor too at that time . Belfagor . And what does your Highness think of an old , cunning , weather-beaten States-man , that should go about to recover an Intreague in which he had once lost himself , by the same measures , by the same beaten road , and by the same trite and common artifices , still so fresh in memory , that every ordinary Politician in power would easily know how to obviate . Pluto . I should think him a fool , a meer fisher for Frogs , that thinks to catch the Multitude again with a bait , which they had swallowed already , so much to their prejudice . Belfagor . Wherefore then so much noise with Forty One ? the stale , over-worn , thread-bare pretences of which , are now known to every Apprentice ; which makes me think , that the Whiggs , men of deep profound consideration , and that have much to loose upon 〈◊〉 , must have newe● studyed and ●esined intreagues , if any at all , than those of Forty One , or else it is impossible that they should be guilty of those practices which are laid to their charge ; from whence it is as impossible they should ever dream for the least success , while there is but two penny-worth of vigilancy over ' em . Besides , Sir , one thing more I observed in my Travels , that before the Grand Plot , the Whiggs were accounted good Subjects , had all the Gratious Complyance , Loyal hearts , and open Purses , that could be wished for ; so ▪ that all things past seemed to be buryed in the grave of oblivion . But no sooner was the Grand Plot of your Hignesses Nephew the Pope discovered , but up starts Forty One in a Winding-sheet , and made such a noise i' the ●treets , that nothing could stand in competition with it . Then it was that the Popish-landers , countenanced by some of the greatest personages in Plotters-Island , like the Hare , that never makes more doublings and turnings , than when she hears the full cry of fields ring the peal of Death in her ears , finding the Whiggs in chase of their Plot , and still tracing it upon the hot scent of fresh discovery , were resolved , if they could , to spoil their noses , by strewing good store of pepper all along upon the trail . To this purpose they set up one of their Minions to thwart the first Discoverer , to contradict him , teaze him , vex him , discountenance , discourage and render him fallacious , an Impostor , and consequently ridiculous to the people . Nay , he was so venturous , though he durst not absolutely deny the Plot , in the Infancie of its Discovery , as to fix it so for a time by his Libelling Charms , that it seemed to hang in an airy doubt between Truth and Untruth ; like your Highnesses Brother Mahomets Tomb between Heaven and Earth . But his Magick spells being broken by the Grand Senate of ●lotters Island , it rested again upon the Terra firma of the so much upbraided discovery , and then the Maggot was forced to creep into a Holland-Cheese , for fear of being brought to condign punishment . For the Grand Senate of the Island , notwithstanding all his little potions of Intoxication , found , and adjudged it to be a Plot , caressed the Discoverers , and prosecuted the Criminals with that Noble Zeal , that your Highness well knows the Harvest you have reaped thereby . Pluto . Ah Belfagor , Belfagor , a poor Wheatsheaf to what I should have had , could the design have been complicated , and I have had but my due ! Belfagor . I confess it , most Fuscous Lu●ifer ; I have always had that experience of your Justice , that you love not to be named with the Innocent . Pluto . I cannot say so Belfagor , for the Nocent and Innocent are all one to me . But I must needs say , when the Innocent come in shoals , I have a far worse opinion of them that send , than of those that are sent , as verily believing there must be most devillish foul play i' the case . Belfagor . Thus far , Sir , as I have hinted before , all the Treason , all the Ignominie , all the Shame , all the Villany of the design , all the blame that your Highness could have had , had you been guilty of it your self , lay upon the necks and shoulders of the Popish-landers . All which rendred them so abnoxious all over the world , and made the burthen so heavie , which otherwise they would have made no more of , than of a Larks feather , that they resolved to rid themselves of it ▪ if it were possible to be done by the art of Jesuits ; and I was informed , that they had sent a most splendid Embassie of Thirty , thousand Masses and Ora pro Nobis's , and that your Nephew the Pope had offered you the Restitution of Purgatorie , to give your assistance . Pluto . 'T is very true , Belfagor , what you say , and thereupon we advised with our Chief Iustice Rhadamanthus about it , who told us , they were a company of Villains and Poltrons , and had so much craft and cunning already , that if we lent them any more , we might chance to rue the fatal effects of our kindness ; and desired us to beware the sad example of our Father Saturn . Thereupon we excused our selves , by telling 'em , that neither we nor our Royal Consort had ever been bred to Church-Musick , and therefore had no kindness for it ; and that for their Exorcisms , we had now learnt more wit than to fear ' em . Belfagor . Then I believe that it was upon the return of their Embassie , that they set up to work for themselves , for presently they raised a hugeous high Mountain which they called Forty One , out of the Mines of an old Garrison long ago dismantled ; from the top of which they daily discharged whole Volleys of Invectives , Libels , Tales , Stories , Shams , Surmises , Calumnies , and several other such kind of paper-Squibs against the Whiggs , to make a breach in the Reputation of the whole Party . This was diligenrly carryed on by their two principal Generals of the Artillery , Don Observatore , and Don Heraclitus , who have laboured at the Battery day and night for some time . Truly , Sir , it behoov'd the Papists so to do , for their necessities pressed hard upon 'em at first , for the principal Provinces of Plotters Island , that is to say , Tory-land , Whigg-land , and Tantivie-shire , were against 'em , and the chief Governour of Iusticia was a Whigg-lander , by whose admirable Courage and Conduct the Plotters were every where overthrown , defeated , and cut off ; which the Popish-landers seeing , resolved , if possible , to gain him to their side ; and at length so far prevailed , that for a good round sum he being very poor and in debt , surrendred up the Garrison of Iusticia , into the hands of the Popish-landers , by which means the Seer W. the Princess of Mealtubia , and several other most Notorious Plotters made their escapes , to the incredible joy and advantage of the whole party ; who animated with this success , with a very numerous army of specious pretences , large promises , slie insinuations , cunning perswasions , false Oaths , crafty protestations , and Masqueraded counterfeits , soon reduc'd a great part of Tory-land under their subjection , and are now endeavouring the utter ruine and devastation of Whigg-land , not doubting but to undermine the whole Plot , and so blow it upon Whigg-land ; to which purpose these Tory-land Pamphleteers , like Moles , lie delving and digging unwarily in the dark and obscure Mines of Jesuitism , little dreaming that the Mines will at length fall upon ' emselves ; nor considering that whatever Interests or Prerogatives of Princes the Popish-landers may pretend , Perae il mondo , e ruina il cielo , is their Motto ; they care not though all the Interests and Prerogatives of all the Princes in the world were utterly ranverst , so they may uphold their own . And all this proceeds from the enormous pride of the Clergy , who not enduring any Equals , much less Superiours , would have all the world under their girdles . And thus having given your most Illustrious Sootiness the best account I can , of the hazards and incumbrances you will meet with in attempting upon the Globe of the Earth , I again advise you to keep your old station , where you live at ease , with full Command and Dominion . Pluto . Well , but is there no appearance of Reconciliation ? Belfagor . Truly , Sir , by what I observe , my opinion is , there 's little probability for 't , so long as these Swarms of Pamphleteers are suffered . For though Impeachments and Accusations upon just ground are always to be allowed of , yet Calumnies are never to be endured among a Free people ; they only irritate , never chastize , but are often made use of to justifie the effects of provocation . Pluto . Well then , if it be so , I 'le keep where I am . But are they all so sullen and morose ? is there no mirth among ' em ? Belfagor . Why , truly Sir , I 'le tell ye , not long since , I met with two merry Relations , the one among the Tory-landers , the other among the Whigg-landers ; the first concerned a Whigg-lander , who had been poysoned with the blast of an Irish Conscience , flown from the breath of a randan Tantivie-man ; that among the Whigg-landers concerned a certain stripling in the Law , son , as they said , to the late Governour of the Fortress of Iustici● , who so publickly was degraded for his Misdemeanours , and commonly called the Catholick Lawyer ; I was shewed him once in the street in a Coach , hung about with loose ratling Irons , which made a noise like little Bells , which made me look to see what Coaches followed him ; because I had observ'd , that the foremost of your Carriers Horses always travail with a Coller of Bells about their necks ; whether it were his pride or his ambition , I can't tell ; however , he got a name by it , and is like to keep it , for they call him Gingling Will ; he pretends , they say , to be a second Mercurie for swiftness of heels , and swears he would have undertaken to have kept pace with the Eagle that carryed Ganymed to your Brother Iupiter . Insomuch , that he had like to have got on of the best places in the Penny-post-Office , had he not spoiled his preferment by the loss of a Match which he made to run with a Tinker , both naked , for Three Guineys , all the length of the Pall Mall in St. Iames's Park . Pluto . And you say Gingling Will , as you call him , did run this Match . Belfagor . Yes , a' nt like your Highness , and the Tinker won it too for the Tinker put the sham upon him , by disguising another more nimble of foot to run it for him . Pluto . By Styx , when he comes into my clutches , I 'le make him run't over again , rather than I 'le have a Catholick Councellor so baffled by a Tinker . Belfagor . The same Relation informed me likewise , that as he was a great Racer himself , so he thought it also convenient to keep a running Nag . To which purpose when the Carter brought the Money to pay his Father for the surrender of the Garrison of Iusticia , the young Squire knocks off the hoops of one of the Firkins , cram'd his pockets , and presently tript it away to the chief City of Plotters ●●land ; thither being come , his Money burning in his breeches , he repaired for a Cooler to a Reverend old Matron , whom your Highness well knows , as having been long famous for sin and iniquity , called Betty Buly . Oh , Sir , I cannot pass her by without an Encomium ; she has sent many a restless piece of young Kid , and Barren Doe to your Royal Consorts Table ; and for Sauce , many a small Barrel of Gentlemens Pallats , and Tips of Noses , instead of champignions , pickl'd in Decoctions of Guiacum and Sarsaperi●●a . To this good Lady the vertuous Squire , full of his Fathers temptatation , Gold , goes and proffers her five Guinies to procure him a Virgin Intact . Pluto . Five Guineys , Belfagor ? why , are Maidenheads so flush i'th at place , that the price is fallen so low ? I ha' known the time when a Mortal could hardly get one for love or money . Belfagor . Oh , Sir , the case is altered now , for old Mother Shiptons Proph●sie has almost ●rought it self about , with five or six Women to one man. But she presently took the measure of his narrow Soul , and fitted him accordingly ; for instead of a Virgin , she brought him an old , cunnings , Gilting Whore , that infused such a Pabylonish Contagion into him , that what between the Tinker and the Harlot , he is unrecovered to this day , and finds enough to do to keep himself upon his l●gs . And which was worse , the story● breaking forth with the Dis●●●per , it was carried to his Clyents the Imprisoned Lords , in the chief Castle upon Pl●tters Island , which gave occasion to the Ladies in company , not only to laugh heartily , but also to make Re●lections upon his dole●ul condition . While one of them could not refrain from discovering the intended gratitude of the whole part to the fools that serve them , saving , Though 〈…〉 So that i● is much to be 〈◊〉 , y●ur Highness will loose your old acquaintance , 〈…〉 ; it being the vogue of all Plotters Island , that she des●rv●s a Canoni●ation ▪ for b●ing thus instrumental in the Mor●ifi●●tion of this little 〈◊〉 . Pluto . I should have disown'd the old I●de for my Scholar , as thou well knowst she was , had she done otherwise . Al●s five pound and a Crown ! Belfagor . After this , Sir , and the swallowing of many a bitter Potion , and many a long Quick-silver spit , the young Squire being a little recruited , would needs go a swan-hopping after a young G●ntlewoman in the Country , whom under the pretence of Matrimony he had formerly made love to , and obtained her promise . But that not being his design , he inveigled her up to the Chief City of the Island , where at a penurious Treat , he took occasion to drench her with such an Opiate Dose , that the young Damsel fell into a sound sleep , in which condition she was put to bed . Plut● . By Styx ; a most ●xcellent way to take a Maid●nhead napping . But now I think on 't , my Cousin Hecate plaid her beloved Endymion just such another trick , and enjoyed him in a dream . But I 'le tell thee Belfagor , there must be great care taken of this Spark when he comes here ; for he that will lye with a Maid in a dead sleep , will not spare to lye with the dead themselves . And if my Subjects should once get the trick on 't , what a new generation of Devils should we have ? I tell thee the cons●quences of th●se things are evil . Belfagor . Now , Sir , when the vertue of the Potion was spent , the unvirgined Gentlewoman awak'd ; but when she ●ound how the Gingling Squire had used her , grief and Despair threw her into those desperate fits , that brought a most violent Feaver upon her ; and such a dis●raction seized her for the loss of her Honour , that she could scarcely recover her former temper in Nine Months ; at the end of which she made a worse Discoverry , and there was no concealing the business , for she was with Child . And now your Sootiness , according to your wonted justice , expects to hear that Gingling Will should have made her amends by Marrying her . But he took the more gentle and modish way ; he only kept her for a year or two ; then that she might partake with him as well in his adversity , as prosperity , for he gave her a bountiful proportion of those marks of affection which he had received at Betty Buly's , and so dismissed her . And these , Sir , are your Tory ways of courting and consummating their Amours . Then , Sir , for their valour , they are very quarrelsome , especially upon the refusal of a Health . Pluto . Oh Belfagor , I have always observed , that Love and Honour go together . Belfagor . No , not too much of Honour neither , for , may it please your Highness , there are various tempers of men . Some valiant men cannot endure to see a Cat ; others will never stand ye with a Custard at the Swords point . And thus it fares with our man o● Honour ; for he cannot endure an Oaken plant in a Countrymans hand , called Dorathey , but if he sees it , sneaks into an Alley , and if pursued , surrenders up his silver-hilted Sword to be pawn'd at discretion , and redeem it if he think it worth his labour . But upon the refusal of a Health he takes another course ; for then he proceeds gradually , first he star●s ye i' the face , and cries Zounds , what not drink the D's Health ? then he throws a glass of Wine i'you● face ; and if this be not taken well , he takes up a glass Bottle , beats a point of War upon your face , and presently breaks out two or three of your Teeth . And , Sir , let me tell you , there is nothing so frequent as these squabbles in Plotters Island ; but they are very advantageous to your Highnesses Quarter-ma●●er-generals my L. Sata● , and my L. Belzebub . As for example , if any person denies to drink the D. de P. Health , presently another cries Damme , w●at not drink the health ? Damme ▪ he shall drink it . So by the refusal of one Health ▪ they g●● ten or twenty swinging assurances of Body and Soul to ●ll up the● Chinks of Hell. And all this proceeds from the A●imo●ties which are daily blown up and cherished by the Pamphlet●●●s , those Tools of the Iesuits , the Observator and Heraclitus . Pluto . Well , here 's enough concerning the Son ; but what 's now become of the Father ? Belfagor . Your Highness means the Governour of the fortress of Iustice. Pluto . Yes , I do so . Belfagor . Then I 'm right : Why , Sir , no sooner had he surrender'd up that Fortress , ( which he did for such a sum of money as would have tempted your Highness your self , ) but he was reentrusted to look after the utter demolishing of that Fort ; wherein he shewed himself so active , as if he had had a Spleen against that lovely Palace . Against the detectors of the Plot , no man more malicious and inveterate ; nay , a person could not appear to give Evidence against a Popish-la●der , but 't was presently , Whipstaff , Tip●●aff , take that Rog●e , and cast him into the Dung●on of Banco prisoni● ; which was no sooner said but done . But to the ●opish-landers , no man more condescending , more soft , patient , and more indulgent : to the Princes of Mealetubia , like Pyramus to Thisbe ; to the Baron of Astonaria , like Pylades to Orestes : And so a great part of the Walls of the Fortress fell down : And doubtless it had been totally ruin'd , had not the great Senate of Plotters Island opposed his p●oceedings . So that he was at length sent into the Countrey with a thing called a Quietus e●t , to enjoy what he has so bas●ly got , with the Curses of the Islanders . Pluto . I hope he does not now lye quiet , and study R●p●ntance ; 'sfoot he 's a fat gobbet , I would not miss him for any thing . Belfagor . Yes , and deserves to be severely handled for certain Treasonable words , which I am informed he spoke against y●ur Highness , not long since . Pluto . What words ? Belfagor . Why , Sir , he said , Dam me . — Pluto . Well , what hurt in that ? Belfagor . None , Sir ; but he said further , I demolished the 〈◊〉 Colemannia in spight of the Court ; I delivered up the Fort of Wak●mannia in spight of the City , and I will be Governou● of the Fortr●s● 〈◊〉 Iusticia still , in spight of the Devil . Pluto . Bid our Attorney-General take particular notice of this . Belfagor . The sooner the better , Sir , for he begins to droop . Pluto . How know you that ? Belfagor . By his own confession , Sir , for quoth he at the same time , Though I am an Old fellow , and cannot drink , swear , fight and wh●re so well as formerly I could , yet I have a Son that is Castor and ●ollux , two in one skin , that can and shall do all together , to s●rve the 〈◊〉 - landers . And then straining the point a little fa●ther , he th●s proceeded : I have two Daughters also that shall perform their parts at all th●se accomplishments of M●dish Galla●●ry . Pluto . A my word Belfagor , this Governour understands trap ; thou knowst 't is our way to have our Temp●a ions ready for a brisk opportunity . But if he don't being himself into play , both his Sons and his Daughters too will be soon forgot . For the Sons of such p●rsons , ●ou know , like the Sons of Parsons , seldome come to good , and their Daughters are as little , regarded after their Fathers are laid aside , and are consequently dead either in their authority , or dec●ased to us . Belfagor . Oh , Sir , he has been endeavouring to glister in the world again . And to that purpose , believing a Privy-Councellors place might have been bought , offered some of his Popish-landers Gold for the Imployment ; but the impudent and impolitick offer rendred him so despicable and unfit for so high a dignity among Mortals , that they say ●he bit off both his Thumb-nails for madness that he had committed such an Errour . Pluto . And well he might : he a Privy-Councellor ▪ by Styx , that Prince would be well served that makes use of him ; he a Privy-Councellor ! he a Wine-Porter . Belfagor . Oh , Sir , but this is not all ; I was informed by my Brother Ramballat , who was either your Agent that conducted the person that carried the Cordial Mass , or else Tempter-General to the Governour in your behalf , who was present at a discourse that hapned between a certain M●●sieur , Mons●●ur Fran●●is , who was Agent in Plotters Island for the Soveraign of Francia , and the Popish-landers . It was in the Summer-time , when the decl●●ing Sun had spread the ●erth with the long shades of several tall Elms , that were guarded from the brousing Cattle with s●ndry sweet-smelling brakes . Then I say it was , when Monsi●ur Fr●n●●is , and the Governour of the Fortr●ss of Iu●ticia , wearied with Travail , or else to rec●●ate their tired cogitations , had lain themselves down undiscovered from each other ; when on a suddain , Monsieur François disburth●ning , his mind to himself , uttered these words : By my Arbitrary power I●●e make him Absolute ere I return . Arbitrary ? Absolute , quoth the Governour , why that 's the thing I have been driving at ; and presently , spying Monsieur Fran●●is , made up to him , and with his broad-brimm'd Hat , and bended brows , accosted him . Who art thou , quoth Monsieur Fran●ois ? Why , I am that late famous Knight , the Governour of the Fortress of Iusticia . To which Monsieur Francois replyed , O , ho , Bon jour , bon jour , Monsieur le Governur . Pray speak English , Sir , quoth the Governour , for I have burnt my Tongue already with learning to speak French. Thereupon my Brother Ramballat was chosen to be Interpreter between them , so they began and went on as follows . Monsieur Francois . Why , man , what 's the matter , are all things turn'd topsie turvie ? Governour . So it seems , Monsieur : But did not you talk of Arbitrary , and Absolute , just now ? Monsieur . Yes I did , and what then ? Governour . Why because I was an Aslertor of the disquieted Title to Plotters Island , which the Whigglanders call'd Crime , and an Endeavouring to set up Arbitrary and Absolute Power . Monsieur . En bien , was that all your crime ? that may be mine too for ought I know ; for such is my business , and I am not to stir , until it be effectually done : But I have the Cash , the Cash , man , and that alone will do the work at long run . Governour . Cash , what Money ? Monsieur . Yes Money , the very Life and Nerves of Intrigue and Design , the very weapon by which my Master hath made all those great Conquests which he now enjoys ; and by which , if he lives but a few years longer , he 'll subdue the whole World. Governour . How unhappy have I been , that could not be sooner accquainted with you ; perhaps I might have been serviceable , and I 'm sure his Coyn would have been acceptable enough to me . Monsieur . No matter , 't is not too late yet ; though you are out of Power , yet your advice may be serviceable , and i● you 'll come in for your share at that , I 'll take care to procure you a Pension . Governour . Agreed , Monsieur Francois , with all my heart , and bring my Son in too ; for of Idleness comes nothing , 't is the moving hand gets the pence . Monsieur . Your Son , I know him , he 's a thick-s●ul'd , hot-headed , sottish Clown , that can do us little good , unless it be to go now and then to Coffee-houses , and Huff , Swear , Ram and Dam against the Whigglanders , and that will scarce do neither , for they are grave , sober , serious , warie Sophisters , that must be handled gently , by men of Parts , learned , affable , and obliging , not by the heats and feuds of Ninnies and Fools . Governour ▪ However , you see my good-will to your Cause . But what sort of employment must mine be , and what my Pension ? Monsieur . Your employment must be at all , and your Pension according as you deserve . Governour . By my troth this is very hard , though 't was once in my power to have made my own tearms , but now it seems I must , be forc'd to come in upon yours . Monsieur . Ay , and a good shift too . But in short I 'll tell you the design , provided you will be sworn to secrecy , and then you will be able to guess whether or no you can do us any service . Governour . 'T is agreed , I am sworn , now go on . M●nsieur . Why , I suppose you have heard of my Masters pretentions to the Dukedome of Burgundy , Luxemburg , &c. All which is as good as his own al●eady ; you cannot but have heard likewise , that he hath broke the Nimmeghen League by the taking of Strasburgh , why now he ●esolves to fall upon Flanders , which he hath reason to think himself pretty secure of : For though we have been seemingly asleep , under a Notion of Peace , yet our powerful Coyn hath been moving in all parts of the World , but particularly in Flanders , where we have made so many of the Spanish Officers our own , that whenever my Master pleases to draw his Sword. — Governour . Draw his Sword , why must there be fighting again ? M●nsieur . Yes , a little for the colour of the thing . Governour . Your Master is the devil of a man , he Conquers more in the times of Peace , than all the European Princes besides can do , by the greatest face of War they are able to make . Monsieur . And therefore he is so much the more to be commended . Governour . No , pardon me for that , Sir , pray where are the brave and Heroe-like Feats of War ? I find nothing but what 's done by ●●eachery , and Princes gul'd out of their Countries under the Notion of Peace ; which sort of Actions among Princes and Kings , are of all others most base and mean. Monsieur . But if you prate at this rate , Monsieur le Governour , ●are well , for I cannot endure . — Governour . Nay , hold Sir , if you will not hear what I can say against , as well as for , the Interest of your Master , how can you think that I shall understand my business , or ever be able to serve him ? Monsieur . That 's true . Governour . Then pray go on , but you must give me leave to interrupt you sometimes . Monsieur . Why , when we are once in possession of Flanders , you know what Inroads and other great advantages we have upon the Vnited Provinces , so that they shall be constrained for their own safety , either to put themselves under my Masters protection , or else be liable to have their whole Country Marched over when frozen , and burnt , or set under water and ruined in a short time . Governour . What then ? what have I to do with all this ? you know that I am an old ●ellow , and can't go abroad . ●onsieur . I thought you a more judicious man , that 's not required of you , you must hear this and a great deal more , or else you 'l never understand any thing . This is the Scheme of my Masters Affairs all over the world , and will you not hear it ? Governour . Yes , yes , pray go on , Sir. Monsieur . Why , when we are secured from the danger of Holland , have taken in Savona , Geneva , and some other as considerable Garrisons in those parts , which my Master hath now intitled himself to , by taking in Casal , when he hath procured his Son to be Crowned King of the Romans , the thing he hath so long desir'd , and either secur'd his Alliances with the Dane , Swede , Brandenburgh , and some other of the Palatinate Princes , or put them into a state of N●utrality : When he shall have brought the Malecontents of Hungaria under the protection of the Turk , and secur'd him by an Offensive and Defensive League , by that time my Master hopes his Interest here may be so considerably increas'd , that it may be worth while to bring a considerable Fleet of men of War into the narrow Seas , to block up the Mouth of the River of Thames , and turn the whole Trade into Holland , the East Country , or ●lsewhere , and so having sufficiently weakned you , at once to pour into the bowels of your Country an Army of Eighty or a hundred thousand men . Governour . But if your Master do all this , what occasion is there for such an interest to be made here , as you seem to desire ? Monsieur . Oh , very material , for my Master never strikes till he be secured every way , and therefore a 〈◊〉 well-insinuated interest here , would be of great moment at such a juncto , when my Master should Invade you ; and in order thereunto , I am sent over to promote a right understanding amongst all our Friends , and to see that such as can be serviceable may have Pensions setled upon ' em . But as for those that only pretend , and do us no service , as there are many such , they must e'en pack off ; for my Master hath spent vast sums of Money about this Affair already , and resolves to be bubbl'd out of no more . Governour . Why now you 're come to the point : But how are those Pensions to be paid ? have you a Fund here ? Monsieur . Yes , and have had one for several years past . Governour . Well then , pray tell me wherein I can contribute to the advancing your Masters Interest here , how the posture of your Affairs stands , and who are your principal Friends . Unless I know this , I can do you but little service . I finde you are no stranger to my Affairs ; and therefore you well knowing how much I have been exposed already , I hope you will allow me instruments to work at a distance with . Monsieur . We expect from you nothing so much as Advice in points of Law , and in which we must be concern'd sometimes . As for our Interest here , 't is totally wrap'd up in the-so-much-disputed Succession ; and what that does , gives life and being to our designs . The immediate posture of our Affairs , seems to be very secure , nothing having more largely contributed thereto , than the late Transactions in Scotland ; which to our best view hath brought all things to a Crisis : so that all depends now upon a Senate here , that may be as fit for our purpose as that in Scotland hath been . Governour . And how to procure that , is the great thing of all . Monsieur . You 're i' the right on 't , Monsieur le Governour , and that I believe will be your Task ; which if you can but obtain , will not onely give you the whip-hand of all your Whigland Antagonists , but make your name great and famous to Posterity : for the time is coming , according to the common Proverb in France , Vn Dieu , un Roy , un Religion , over all the World ; and if you can conttribue any thing to this , happy will be the hour you were born in . Governour . I 'll do what I can . But I did desire to know your Masters principal Friends that are concerned in this great Affair . Monsieur . All that will follow of course by and by . Governour . Well then , what is it you would expect from a Senate here , if it were possible to get one for your Masters purpose ? Monsieur . Oh , I 'll tell you . We should be modest enough : for all our desire at present is , onely to procure a Bill for fixing the Succession on D. de P. another for Liberty of Conscience , or Toleration as some term it ; a third , an Act of Oblivion or Indemnity ; to make room for which , we are endeavouring to render the Whig-landers as criminal to the Senate , as the 〈◊〉 have been● and fourth , to prohibit all our Country-Commodities . Governour . As for the three first , I understand 'em well enough ; but what can you get by the last ? Monsieur . Why if a general Prohibition should pass upon all ou● Country-goods , and my Master have at the same time the command of the Sea● , it would be an excellent colour to block up your River , as I told you before , and turn your Trade another way ; nay , it might be a Shooi●g-horn to draw on a War between the two Crowns . Governour . But how do you think we shall be able to bring this matter to pass , so as to have a Senate for our purpose ? Monsieur . Oh , for that I 'll tell you , Monsieur le Governour , you have many Drinking Corporations ; and some of 'em being well ●ly'd with good Beef , Bag-pudding , Wine , Beer , Brandy , and Tobacco , cannot fail for some of our Friends , more especially if we take but the least care to make the more mercenary part of 'em ours . We are no niggards of our Money in those cases . This being done according to our usual way of doing business , warily , will so enhance the Expences of the Competitors , that i● a Senate be called but once in every year , according to our expectation , we shall so win upon the Multitude by our Generosity , that it will be impossible to fail of carrying all before us . Governour . And then what fine sport will it be to find the Electors swindg'd off by Laws of their own making and consent● Monsieur . Nay , that 's not all ; for we have this advantage besides ; There are many Gentlemen who serve for such Drinking Corporations , whose Estates are not worth above five of six hundred pounds per Annum , and out of that they have great Families to maintain ; so that the spending of a years Rent ( as some of 'em must do , if we take any care ) once a year about their Elections , for four or five years together , will so tire 'em , that they shall be glad to lay down the Cudgels . Governour . In that , I believe you 're right , Sir : but perhaps all of 'em may not quit the point so . Monsieur . No matter : As for those that will not , they must be accoasted with great Offers and Advantages , and some considerable Pensions for the time present ; and these Offers with Necessities , are great Temptations . Governour . I know it full well . Monsieur . And that person who has but five hundred pounds per Annum , and has been forc'd to spend it all about his Election , perhaps may be glad to snap at a Crust of 1000 l. per Annum , either to decline the thing , or else to stand bound by promise to serve our turn , and have all his Election-charges born besides . Governour . Aye sure , a man would think so ; but how long shall such a Pension be made to continue payable ? Monsieur . Till the Senate have done our business . Governour . No longer ? Monsieur . No longer , no : Why do you think , Monsie●r le Governour , that my Master intends to keep 'em in pay as long as they live ? Governour . Yes , and reason good too , I think , where a man must hazard his All to serve him . Monsieur . Perhaps some few may be so paid , as your self , and , &c. but my life for yours , my Master knows better , than to continue his Bribes to all of 'em : He loves the Treason , but hates the Traytor after he hath serv'd him ; as his usage to the Governour of Messina doth demonstrate . Governour . What a fine condition had our last Pensionary - Senate then been in , according to this account ! But , Sir , do you think that any Gentleman will be prevailed with to betray his King and Country , his Life and Fortune , his Religion , his Liberty and Property , for a Song ? Monsieur . Yes , believe it , yes : for you your self have made an observation on the late Pensionary - Senate , and that 's true enough : for those Pensioners would have done all that , and a great deal more , and yet they were very honest Gentlemen . Governour . Gentlemen , do you call ' em ! what and so qualified ! Pray where 's their Honour ? Monsieur . Pish ; that you of all men living should ask such a question ! Why Honour 's laid aside then : for such a man must have no Fortune , no Religion , no Honesty , no value for his own Life ; and such Qualifications as these , goes far in our business . Governour . You may expect from 'em long enough , I doubt , before you 'll find your business done by such men in these parts : Perhaps more Northernly such a thing might take ; but here — Monsieur . Why now I find you are totally against me . Governour . No , no , Sir ; 't is onely my unhappiness , that I cannot be rightly , understood ; I onely make Objections for my own satisfaction : I am yours fast ●nough ; but you must allow me to scruple Niceties sometimes ▪ Monsieur . Any reasonable thing , for your better information , is allowable . Governour . Why then suppose the Pretensions of your Maste● ( which you told me of just now ) to Luxemburg , Burgundy &c. should prove a Fallacie , his interest in Flanders thrown out of doors ▪ and by that means be put by those Inroads and great Advantages which he expects to have into the Vnited , Provinces : Suppose they should have no regard to , but rather slight his Protection : Suppose he should , instead of taking in Savona , Genoa , and those other considerable places in them parts , which he now seems to have such a vigilant eye upon , and pretends such great right to , meet the Lati● Princes united , and in a considerable posture of defence , ready to oppose him : And suppose the Dane , Swede , Brandenburg , &c. should Ally with the Emperour , the King of Spain , the States General , &c. And suppose you find the Malecontents of Hungaria reconciled to , and under the protection of the Emperour . What would his invading of England be worth then ? Monsieur . O fie , Monsieur le Governour , you talk at ● strange rate now , and of such impossibilities , — Governour . Why suppose the Hollanders , should send out a Fleet of Men of War , some to examine your Masters power concerning the Mountain which he is raising in the Sea before Dunkirk ; others to batter down the Castle wh●ch he is building in the Air at Marselles , and to burn the Ships both there and at Tholose ? Monsieur . These are more improbable , and but your own wandring surmises , without the least ground . ●ut allowing all those Alliances , and much more , yet if they have not England in with 'em , we remain still s●cure . Governour . How so ? Monsieur . By our League ; which I am of opinion they will not adventure to break . Then as for the Emperour , though he should in heat strike up an Agreement with the Malecontents , still we can call the Turk into his Territories , as we use to do . Governour . Why , hath your Master such an interest in the Turk ? Monsieur . Yes , yes , an entire League : Did you never hear of that ? Governour . Surely the Devil is in him . Well , go on , pray , Sir. Monsieur . Why the Turk will be able enough to divert the Emperour , having our Country to friend for all manner of Provisions for War ; and as for those his Allies ▪ my Master will undertake himself . As for the Latin Princes , have we not the Assistance of our Holy Father the Pope , when my Master pleases to require it ? and●s not Casal our own ? and are not the Latins most grievously vexed with the Plague ? and is it not known to all the World , how various and different their interests are , like the Princes Palatine ? Therefore I say , all these things well considered , any reasonable Polititian would think that an Army of 20000 Horse and Foot that are experienc'd , and well disciplin'd men , some for burning , others for pillage and plundring , being in the very bowels of an Enemies Country , should in a short time make such havock , and bring such an awe upon the spirits of the people , that they should be glad to take a Protection , or a Peace upon any terms . Governour . Why , but still there 's the Spaniard , and — Monsieur . The Spaniard , all the world knows his poverty , and how unfit he is to d●fend either by Sea or Land ; and then his late Match with Madam , and some other as prevailing Checks , which his Necessities make him liable to , will divert him another way . But notwithstanding all that , let him strike up his Alliance with the Hollander , Dane , Swede , &c. which before they can bring to perfection , my Master will have fetch'd in Flanders in spight of their teeth . Governour . Nevertheless , I doubt your Master has lick'd a Bur into the Throat of his Policks , by having to do with so much Potency at once , whose whole Countries are at stake . And again , have they not at least two Millions of Friends ( the Hugonots ) in the very heart of your Masters Country ; besides vast stores of Men , Money , Shipping , and all other Necessaries for War ? Pray , Sir , do you but state this to any reasonable Polititian , and I 'll undertake he shall tell you , Your Masters Affairs stand but in a bad posture ; and nothing less than , his total Ruine can follow , if England be prevailed with to ally . Monsieur . Pish , why that can never be done . Governour . No truely , I fear it very much : for I 'm sure if they do but consult Policy and their common Safe●y , it must bring 'em in , more especially at such a time as this is , when the greatness of your Master threatens all the World with nothing but Vassalage and Destruction . Monsieur . Policy ! Why pray when do you find English-men consulting of Politicks , till it be upon the matter too late , or some great trouble or misfortune threaten them ? But besides , if they should enter upon such Consults , perhaps it 's now too late : for D. de P. hath so much gain'd the ascenda●r , that if he please , there 's but few thing● can miss his party . Governour . That 's in the North onely : but take my word for 't , the Whiglanders are too numerous and stubborn , to be swayed by his interest , which runs so counter to their being . Monsieur . However , his interest in the North joyn'd to that which is here , and the Irish joyn'd to both those , will do the Trick still , if well manag'd . Governour . Why I hope you don't intend all this during the Kings Life ? Monsieur . Yes but I do though , if my Master should have occasion to invade England , as he had to take in Strasburg : But if not , D. de P. does the thing himself of course , if he survive . And as for your Observation just now , that my Master hath two Millions of Hugonots in the heart of his Country , I object against that as not true : for above the half of 'em are run away into other Countries to shun the Persecution , as they term it . And as for those which remain behind , my Master is taking care they shall do him no hurt . But when I have said all this , and much more , how do you know but D. de P. has as great a number of Dark-lanthorn Roman Catholicks here in the hearts of these Kingdoms ? Governour . Truly all I can say , if it be so , is bad enough ; for according to that account , whenever your Master pleases to invade us , the Whiglanders , and Torylanders too , may have their Throats very decently cut by their own Countrymen . But you were saying , more than half the Hugonots were ran away ; and as for the rest , your Master intends to take care they shall do him no hurt : pray what does he intend to do with ' em ? Monsieur . Burn 'em , cut their Throats by way of Massacre , as they call it ; it 's all for the good of the Catholick cause , man. Governour . Oh , Sir , 't is a bad cause which must be served by inu●dations of Blood ; and your Master must be a Devil incarnate , that can endure to wallow in the Blood of so many innocent Subjects . For my part , ● cannot understand any reasonable excuse that can be made for him ; or why so many hundred thousands of Souls should be made a Sacrifice to his insatiate Tyranny . Monsieur . You 'l never leave , Monsieur le Governour , till you spoil all ; you are very much mistaken : 't is sore against the will and Conscience of my Master , that such cruel Edicts should be publisht against the Hugonots , but — Governour . How ? sore against his Conscience ? that 's still worse , why does he know it to be so , and yet persist ? pray who p●ts him upon it then ? Mons●eur . Why the Jesuits , to be reveng'd for the persecution which hath been here against the Roman Catholicks . Governour . Say ye so ? Blood ! Revenge ! by the Jesuits ! and does their Religion teach 'em that ? Monsieur . Now you come with your Querks and Queries again ; why you know it does , as well as I do ; and that the thing which they call Religion , is a constitution Politick only of their own , which desires and delights in having the ascendant over , and influencing all the Kings and Princes in the world . Governour . Why our Saviour Christ taught no such Doctrine , and yet they pretend to be his Followers , and assume the Name of Iesus ; but do they influence your Master ? Monsieur . Yes , and he moves now , and hath done so ever since the death of Mazarine , that is , only by the wheel of their Politicks . They are , and have been a considerable time , perswading of my Master to quarrel with the Pope . Governour . What will they get by that ? Monsieur . Why they have had a great itching at the Chair ▪ ever ▪ Ignatius Loyola's time ; and because they cannot come to it regularly , they hope to prevail with my Master to set up a Patriarc●ate in his own Countrey , and to choose the Patriarch out of their Society ; but he sees into the bottom of this design , and will take better measures than to give them the upper hand of him , as they will be sure to have , should he comply with 'em in that Affair . Governour . How ? why is this the design ? this clearly alters the Popes Ecclesiastical Government , and sets up a new Model . These mens Politicks will not only destroy both your Master and themselves , but all that have to do with ' em . For according to their Morals , no Prince in the world can ever be safe that corresponds with ' em . Monsieur . No , no , now you 're as much out again the tother ways ▪ pray let us hold to our business . Governour . Then pray satisfie me in this point ; if England should break the Leagne with your Master , and Ally with Holland , &c. Monsieur . I 'le tell ye , we have a reserve for that ; for if we find England that way inclin'd , we have those which will u●dertake upon forfeiture of their Heads , to throw a bone between them , and soon set them together by the ears . Governour . How , what that way too ? that would be fine work indeed , and i'●● Conscience feazable enough ! Monsieur . 'T is very certain , 't will be done if we find our League with England strain'd ; and I 'le ingage they shall be continued so too , till my Masters work 's done . Governour . How , will you engage for the continuance of a War ? how can that be ? Monsieur . Why there 's a certain Bannocklander , who is said to have engag'd himself in the most sacred ties imaginable to serve my Master ; and we are well assured of his care about Officers , and State-Ministers , so that in a short time , — Governor . In a short time , the Turk and your Master will subdue the whole world , and divide it between ' emselves . Monsieur . No , no , that 's your mistake again . Governour . How then ? Monsieur . Why my Master will have all or none : for though he may be constrained to use the Turk , yet you may be sure he 'll give him Polyphemus's Law , devour him last , for he hates Compet●tors . Governour . But allowing a War between England and Holland , a●d all your Masters designs to take effect upon that , so as to give him the Conquest upon both , pray what must D. de P. be ? Monsieur . My Masters Vice-Roy . Governour . Where ? Monsieur . Here in these Kingdoms . — Governour . And is that all he makes this bustle for ? for my part I cannot understand his politicks , for methinks it should be much better to be King , though of a limited Monarchy , then to be Vice-Roy to a King Absolute & Arbitrary . Monsieur . That 's true , but D. de P. has so over-acted his part , that he cannot arrive at neither , without my Masters help . Governour . So that now it seems he must be contented with what your Master will give him . Monsieur . Give him ! no no , 't is supposed to be his own choice , as having declar'd , He would rather become a Vice-Roy to a Forreign power , though the greatest Tyrant on Earth , than truckle to such who ought to be his Slaves and Vassals . Governour . My thinks , 't is impossible he should speak such words . Monsieur . 'T is so reported , by those that pretend to know much . Governour . Then I have been doing fine things indeed , who have ●ct●d as for my own life to advance his Interest , which as you say , now proves to be your Masters . Monsieur . Ay , but 't is now too late to be sorry for that . Governour . Is it so ? well then over boots over shooes ; I 'le rather choose to die honourably , than live basely . Monsieur . Why that 's well resolved ; 't is Meritorious , and you dye in the Service of the Church . Governour . Then 't is a bargain , but you told me I should have an account of your Masters principal friend . Monsieur . You shall know those in due time ; I have better considered of that , and therefore desire to be excused till our next Meeting . Adieu Monsieur le Governour , Adieu . FINIS . 
A62319	----	Typhon, or, The gyants war with the gods a mock-poem, in five canto's. Typhon. English Scarron, Monsieur, 1610-1660. 1665 Approx. 103 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 84 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A62319 Wing S836A ESTC R11955 12537641 ocm 12537641 62881 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A62319) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 62881) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 291:5) Typhon, or, The gyants war with the gods a mock-poem, in five canto's. Typhon. English Scarron, Monsieur, 1610-1660. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [4], 160 p. Printed for Samuel Speed ..., London : 1665. Translation of Typhon by John Phillips. Written by Scarron. Cf. Halkett & Laing (2nd ed.). Reproduction of original in British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TYPHON : OR , The Gyants War WITH The Gods. A MOCK-POEM . In Five CANTO'S LONDON : Printed for SAMUEL SPEED , at the Rainbow in Fleetstreet , between the two Temple-Gates . 1665. THE Argument OF THE WHOLE . THe Gyant Typhon's mighty strength ; His courage , inches , and his length : The threats , the menaces and odds 'Twixt him , the Gyants and the Gods. Those wonders which as yet but few know , Besides those Gods and Madam Juno ; And they are wiser then to tell Disasters to themselves befell . The nimble God from heaven sent Returnes with Gyants Complement : At which the Gods begin to tremble , And straight a Parliament assemble ; Who for preventing future harms , Consult on manner of their Arms : Debating long , it is decreed That Vulcan fall to work with speed . With ill success : again they arm , Renew a second time the fight With like success , are put to slight . Back they return , and gain the odds ; They rout , and they pursue the Gods , Who cunningly do vary shape In Wood , the better to escape . The Gods bethink it base to range In Woods like beasts , and therefore change Their borrow'd shapes : at Nylus-banks God Mercury performs his pranks They cloath themselves , to Memphis go ; The Priest and People kindness show : Great Hercules they send for , who Attends them with no more ado . Jove and his son Alcides go By joynt consent in quest of foe . Gyants scale heaven to a wonder ; From thence are headlong thrown by Thunder . A fight determines ; where 's the odds , On Gyants side , or on the Gods. Gyants are slaine , and Typhon flies : Great Jove pursues , and Typhon dies . TYPHON : OR , The Gyants War. CANTO I. The ARGUMENT . The Gyant Typhon's mighty strength ; His courage , inches , and his length : The threats , the menaces and odds 'Twixt him , the Gyants and the Gods. Those wonders which as yet but few know , Besides those Gods and Madam Juno ; And they are wiser then to tell Disasters to themselves befel : I Sing ( though not in strain as they In ev'ry line do merit Bay ) Not Hector , or the brave AEneas , Amphiarus , nor Dapaneus ; Nor yet of Thetis valiant son , Nor Prentice stout of famous Lon - Don-Town ; they 're all such little brats , That unto these they seem but Sprats Of whole bold deeds I mean to write : I chant o' th' man so full of might , Before whom Thunder-thumping Iove Ran swifter then from Hawk doth Dove . I treat of horrid Typhon's acts , Whose eyes do equalize his facts , And out of whose each shoulder springs As many arms as there are Strings On all the Fiddles of this Town , Or Sheep that graze on Barsted-down . Among which arms there doth appear A head would cause Old Nick to fear , And tremble too , did he but gaze on 't , I 'll lay a Piece with him that layes on 't . So cross a Rogue was never seen By Begger blinde of Bednal-green With boy his eyes . So much for that : Now of his Brothers I must chat A while ; and let you understand , Such children never were of Land , ( Nor of the Earth ; but for Rhimes sake , The Land for Earth this time I take . ) But to the point : pox on the Rhime , 'Thas forc'd me to commit a Crime Against exactness . ) These Braves then , Who look'd like devils more then men , Yeelded not in the least for strength , For thickness , talness , bredth or length , For rooting strong oaks , tearing rocks , Breaking doors , or picking locks , Passing the Seas without a bridge , Or skipping o'er a great house-ridge ; Making a Switch of greatest Oak , With which the bones of Gods they broke That ne'er did brag on 't ( when return'd Up to the heav'ns , where had sojourn'd Their Godships ) unto their said brother Both by the father and the mother . I have digressed somewhat long : No matter , now I 'll to 't ding-dong . You Muses nine that saw the fight From horrid mount , and in what plight The Gods were , when great Iove with fear Ran here and there , and everywhere ; Upon his Horse-bird got astride ; The devil take the hindmost , cry'd ; And ran as swift from Pole to Pole , As if h'd had at his bum-hole The God of Fire ; in danger great To break his neck ere the retreat Had been accomplisht ; till his Bird On Nilus-sands did drop a T — Fain would I know the thing ( or shape ) The fearful Gods did deign to Ape ▪ For this most certain is , and true , They all did fear and tremble too : But whether Conquest Gyants great Did favour , or the Gods did beat , Is not confirm'd ; for since that time Has not been seen in any clime Gyants nor Gods ; which makes some say There 's no such thing ( a-lack-a-day ! ) As Muses nine , or God Apollo . But mark you what doth after follow : For Mercury ( the King of Posts ) Brings this same news from both the hosts . All in the Land of Lumbardy There dwelt , a Kyte ? no , let me see , There dwelt a Gyant : now I 'll speed , ( The better day , the better deed ) 'T was on a Sunday just past noon , That Typhon having with a Spoon Big as is an English Wherry , Cramb'd as much as Gut could carry Of Whales white-broth , and of the meat , Which in his Maw did cause a heat , Invited Brothers , gentile Lubbers , To play with him at Nine-pins , Rubbers . I think 't is fit to let you know , Before I any further go , Those Pins they were long-pointed rocks That with his hands , and some few knocks H 'ad fram'd , that they lookt even so : The Bowl beat out ( by strength of blow ) Of the same stuff ; though not so round , But that there might be rounder sound . It was about the midst of May , When jolly was the world , and gay : Thessalia was the proper place In which this jovial Gyant-race Did make their Match , in Recreation To play a Set for a Collation At Nine-pins . Eight did fiercely play ; The other betted ( as some say . ) The three first Games this gallant troop Did play , they took the pains to stoop , And minde their sport : but growing hot With tossing too much of the Pot , ( For they had Ale and strong Beer plenty , More then enough for them and twenty ) They grew to words , from words to blows : But Typhon with the crooked nose Stept in between , and cry'd out , Peace ; Whereat the hubbub straight did cease , So that they spent the whole long day Without a blow , or farther fray Then has bin mention'd . But much better It had been , to prevent a greater Mischief , had each giv'n to his mate A rouzing blow upon the pate , And cross the shins a thousand knocks , Then Typhon with the snakie locks Had with a Pin got such a blow , As made him rub from knee to toe . It was the great Encelades ( Pox on his picture ) broke the peace ; Though some say 't was against his will , And meerly by the want of skill : But Typhon ne'ertheless was neer , For knock exchanging cuff o' th' ear . But having made on deed reflexion , And of his thoughts a recollection , Still grinning in disdainful wise , And Lightning flashing from his eyes , He gather'd Nine-pins up and Boul , ( No Gyant daring him controul ) And hurl'd them up with such a might , As that they vanisht out of sight , And could no more be seen by eyes , But in a moment pierc'd the skies , And to augment the Gyants wonder , Did rattle there as claps of Thunder , Rushing into the very place Where Gods the Goddesses embrace : Though they poor souls did not surmize That Nine-pins would idolatrize : But cramming Panches full with Nectar , Such as the Goddesses expect for Appetite , but by reversion ; For there they hold it an aspersion , As they in France allow a woman To gurmundize and drink with no man ; But now and then in private they Will tipple Nectar fast as Whey . And thus the Gods resolv'd to drink , Till night appear'd as black as Ink. Stout Mars took nothing but Tobacco , Caring not a Fart for Sack though , Shunning all celestial rooms Not scented with Tobacco's fumes . For since in Holland he had been , And purchas'd Honour to the keen - Ness of his weapon , he would dare With any's valour to compare ; That being noted for a Bragger , Some Wags ycleped him Sword-dragger : Yet lov'd he nothing more then smoak And Beer , for which he 'd pawn his Cloak , And did ; but nought could yet prevail , To work a league with him and Ale : A firy God , and so uncivil , He onely liv'd to drink and drivel ; True signe his birth and bringing up Proceeded from the Pipe and Cup. But Iupiter , who drank his fill , Lay fast asleep close by his Gill : Iuno lay by Silenus's Ass : ( He Bacchus foster-father was . ) Who saw them in this plight , might think They had but little need of drink . I will not say , Here lay a Punk , Or there lay one was worse : but drunk They were like Gods ; and ev'ry Goddess Lay reeking as the joynt that sod is . Drink by Philosophy we finde , Quells perturbations of the minde ; Dissolves those cares that do controul The life and vigour of the soul. In such a sleep the Gods were cast : But when a nap or two was past , They being frighted with the noise Caus'd by those Nine-pins , Gyant-boys Had flung ; Iove starting up , quoth he , Is this a time to disagree ? Dissentions are for mortal elves ; Gods should agree among themselves . By this we seem as Fools and Cods heads , With Nine-pins to assault the Gods heads . The Deities by this time heard Ioves voice , which made them sore afeard : When scales were from the eye-lids broke , Had they known how , they would have spoke ; But standing all as in a maze , With eyes did nothing else but gaze , Quoth Iupiter once more , Who 's there ? Where are you all ? Bring me a Chayr . But Venus half awake ( good heart ) In stead of answer , let a fart : But straightway conscious of a guilt , And fearing scent from what was spilt ; Quoth she , 'T is nothing , dreadful Sir. You lye , you Whore ; I heard a stir , And I will know what is the matter . Thus Iove continu'd raving at her . Venus said nought , but thought the more , And pouted at the stile of Whore. Iove raging still more fierce and mad , Well may we think not one was glad . Twice , by the Alcoran he swore , And bit his thumbs as oft , or more . Pallas observing well this fit , Forsakes the place where she doth sit , Or lie , 't is no great matter which ; It seems her fingers ends did itch To be with Iove : so having bow'd , Spoke words like these , ( but not aloud ) Great Sir , whose anger is as fire , Consuming such as feel your ire , Be as a God , more prone to love Then to destroy : Oh let me move Your pitie ; hearken unto me : Those Cups which on the ground you see Broke into fitters , and those Glasses , Are all your own : but now what passes On earth , which caus'd your Glasses fate , I cannot to your Grace relate : Thus much , your Glasses all are broke , Too brittle to endure the stroke Come from the Earths side ; likewise they That did the fact are fled away . Quoth Iove , ( & frowning , bit his tong ) The villain shall repent this wrong , Could I but know him . Momus cry'd , Surely you are all heavie ey'd ; ( And with that mirth he 's always in ) 'T is nothing but a blow with Pin. Quoth angry Iupiter , Buffoon , Leave fooling , or repent it soon : Is this a time to carp and jest , When Mortals dare the Gods molest ? If you 'd have heels be kept from fetters , Be mute in presence of your betters ▪ No more of that ; but now I 'll know What mortal there can be below , Durst in this manner break my rest , Or hatch such treason in his brest ? Are not the heavens Ninepin-proof ? I swear by Pegasus his hoof , I 'll be reveng'd of Pins and Bowl . Quoth Pallas , Sir , upon my soul There 's not a Glass left whole : Mon Dieu , The Gods themselves must drink in shoe . Thus each day does create new pranks ; Mortals ( for mirth ) deserve our thanks . The thanks return'd shall as Rue ( bitter ) Be unto all , quoth Iupiter : If straight I put not Rods in piss For them , they will do worse then this : By Pluto , my revenge shall flie ( As th' injury , and I am ) high . As Iove was venting thus his spleen , Sol enters with his wearied Teem , And hearing Iove make such a clatter , Said to the next , Pray what 's the matter ? Straight did Silenus tell him what Befel them all , and what had not . Says Sol to Iove , I 'll tell you , Sir , For I saw all that caus'd this stir . Be brief , quoth Iove , ( and omit nothing ) Because prolixity is loathing . Sol having briefly laid the state Of dreadful Typhons acts of late ; Quoth Iove , A word to th'wise : now stay , I will that straight , without delay , God Mercury descend to th' earth ; His message 't is must spoil their mirth : Let him shew Typhon his mistake , Who thinks of Iove an Ass to make ; Tell him , his Gyant-like retinue , Nor all the stock of their Revenue , Shall hinder justice : they shall know , Whether 't is I , am Iove or no. Be sure you do your Message well , In State and Order ; to them tell Their own . Mercury having heard The Embassie , he stroakt his beard , ( Or Chin in lieu ) saluted hand , And scrap'd a leg : I understand ( Quoth he ) my duty , and the strife . With that he 'gins to handle Knife , Or Sword , which girting on his side , Doth next his Snakie Staff provide : Slips on his winged shooes , on 's head He clapt his feather'd Cap , and fled As fast as wings could bear him down , O'er River , Citie , Wood and Town . At last he came unto the place Where Typhon and his Gyant-race ( Some standing , others sate on Crup Were just providing for their Supper : Of what that Supper did consist , See here a true and perfect List. An hundred lustie Oxen slain , Which they had stole by might and main From Herds-men ; Sheep some four times more , Got by the means as said before , Which Cacus a notorious knave , Had stole by night , and hid in Cave : 'T was he that thought he once could beat ( And fought with ) Hercules the Great ; But lost his Kingdom , and at length His life , by Hercules his strength . This Cacus did in Carthage raign ; At length in Italy was slain . There leave we him , and fall to Mutton , As good as ever knife was put on . Their Sheep they roasted whole on Trees , In stead of Spits , and that with ease : Trees that for length , & strength , & barks , Bore Sheep as little Spits do Larks . The rank beneath was less ; the last , About the smalness of a Mast. Their fire a Forest was , which they Design'd before for that same day . They thus prepar'd , in came the God , Who crying , Humh ! and giving nod , Began his brief and formal story , And they to round him tory-rory . Quoth one of them , Whoop holiday ! 'T is very true , what do you say ? Then quoth another , with disdain , The God is out , begin again . I tell you once more , that great Iove ( Quoth Mercury ) who rules above , Has sent me here , to let you know He rules ( as well as there ) below ; And were you bigger then you are Ten times , yet he is higher far : Your men are Rogues , & women Whores , And he 's resolv'd to pay your scores : His threats are chiefly to you , Typhon , For having lewdly spun your life on , He sendeth word you are a Knave , A Thief , a Cheat , a Rascal , Slave ; And does command that straight you go And buy him Glasses : doing so , If they be Venice , number cent , His choler may no farther vent . Then , with acknowledgement of blame , Present to Iupiter the same ; And let him ( with submission ) know , 'T is your request to kiss his toe : Be ready too , without a halt , To cry Peccavi for your fault : Then if you adde , 'T is past and gone , And never shall the like be done ; This contest may not onely end , But Iupiter will be your friend . The Gyants hearing this discourse , With stomacks big as that of horse Began with scorn to laugh and scoff . The God in studie to get off , As being fearful . Typhon then : Though you are Gods , and we but Men , ( Quoth he ) yet know , for I 'll be plain , If you a quarrel will maintain , And that with neither fear nor wit ; Tell Iove , I hold no answer fit , But this : We will not purchase Glasses For him , nor his celestial Asses : Let him send Ganimed , that elf , Or take the pains to go himself . The nimble God before in plight , Was now enraged at this slight ; In milde expressions gave a threat , But durst not any more repeat : For Gyants valu'd Gods no more Then Swine do Pearl , or costly Ore. But Mercury , more knave then fool , Put up ( as Proverb saith ) his Tool ; And instantly he took his flight , Till gotten clearly out of sight . We 'll now suppose h 'as reacht his home , And unto Iupiter is come : For he had flown with greater speed Then I can write , or you can read . The Gods themselves that hourly move In highest orbs , can drink and love ; And so did Iove , who scorn'd to shrink , Whilst heart to love , or mouth to drink : He drank so much that very day , That all his Sense was fled away ; And Mercury concealed Tale , Till Iove had slept away his Ale. CANTO II. The ARGUMENT . The nimble God from heaven sent Returns with Gyants Complement : At which the Gods begin to tremble , And straight a Parliament assemble ; Who for preventing future harms , Consult on manner of their Arms : Debating long , it is decreed That Vulcan fall to work with speed . JVpiter's Mistress , red as Rose , Was dropping dew from eyes or nose ; 'T is all a case : for drops are drops , Come they from eyes , or nose , or chops . Her grief occasion'd by a fly-blow , Yclep'd by knowing ones , a by-blow : Calisto 't was , Diana's Maid , Whom Iupiter to lust betraid . Gods are ( like mortals ) dull & stupid , When once they 're subject unto Cupid : If there 's brutality in Men , Or Gods , it must be chiefly then . Yet strange to think , the Gods should do What Men abhor , and blush at too : But Gods and Men in folly move , When captiv'd by the power of love . When Mercury arose from sleep , 'T was then he saw Calisto weep . Have you not in a Chimney seen A sullen Faggot moist and green ; How slowly it admits of heat , And does not onely weep , but sweat ? So fares an unexperienc'd Virgin , When Iupiter himself is urging : But dry-wood-like , the practick Dame Cracks , and rejoyces at the flame . Quoth Mercury , If thus you grieve , I must do so , or must not live : O let me know your cause of sorrow . But rising up , quoth she , Good-morrow . So parted Mercury and her . At length he came to Iupiter , Right early , for avoiding blame ; And him he found in bed with Dame , Who being sensible of wrong She had receiv'd , was using tongue : For Iupiter had often stunk With drink , when home returning drunk : Her help still nothing but condoling , Whilst he abroad was Caterwoling : For this same little fault he had , Sometimes he would a Whoring gad ; In other matters none more civil , ( For there are dues belong to devil ) And to speak truth , no equal there is To him in Lombardy or Paris ; Nor can the like of him be found All over the Vtopian ground . God Mercury was loth to venter At first , but by and by did enter , Just as he heard the Goddess say , What shall that Maiden do , I pray ? What mad-man do you think will take her Now you have plow'd upon her Acre ? Iove seeing Mercury appear , As one most glad to see him there , Without his Slippers or his Hose , To rise he does himself dispose ; And straightway gives the God command To let him clearly understand The cause o'th'late and sudden action , What Typhon says for satisfaction ; Or if the mortals dar'd to own Th' abuses they of late had done . ( Great Iove ) quoth Mercury , I 'll tell What during my abode befel Since I descended from the skie , ( And hang me if I tell a lie ) Though 't was my study to dehort all , They cry'd , The Gods like us are mortal : And if in strength did lie the odds , Then they themselves would all be Gods. Quoth they , This carry to your Iove ; Nor threats , nor he himself shall move Us to excuse whatever Fate By our directions did of late . Then howl'd they as if they were mad : I fearing their intentions bad , And that in this their dreadful ire They'd synge my wings with flames of fire , Did sneak away . They seeing that , Cry'd out , Halloo , a Rat , a Rat ; Hold him there . I , in this sad plight , Had almost lost my ears and sight : For , what with smoak of fire , and noise , I hardly saw , or heard I voice But what was most confus'd : I 'm sure , I understand thus much , endure Such an affront ? 't is leud and base ; We 'll geld the rogue upon the place . At this their rudeness , wonder not If by agility I got Away . Here Iove commanded son Forbear : Enough , quoth he , ha' don : Go , get your breakfast , then in haste Summon the Gods ; let no time waste : Be diligent to let them know I 'd have their counsels 'gainst the foe . Iove wisely thought few words were best , Kept his intentions in his brest ; Onely he frown'd , and then he swore ; Said little , though he thought the more . Typhon the while , we may agree , Did swear and rant as fast as he : This news report did straight afford , Typhon would come with fire and sword , With him the stout Encelades , With divers others great as these . That Gyant Mimas fierce and proud , Stood up , and spake his thoughts aloud ; He curs'd the Gods , and in his tale Said much , that did as much prevail With Typhon's humour : quoth he , Now We all must make a solemn Vow To be reveng'd of this same Iove , That threatens Thunder from above : Be you as me , and I as you , We 'll finde him work enough to do . What if he doth somtimes with Thunder Rend Steeples , Tow'rs , & Rocks asunder ? Cannot we do the same , or can He that which can't be done by man ? If we unite , by strength of arm , Our valour shall outdo a Charm. Couragious friends , what need we fear ? I 'll pluck him from his stately Chayr By th'beard , and thereby hurl him round , Until his length upon the ground Be measur'd : then I 'll set in flames His Starry house , and make his Dames Or Goddesses from that time prove The strength of me , and fate of Iove : Nay , Venus , Pallas , Iuno proud , I 'll get with bearn in softest cloud . What if the Titans they did rout ? 'T was not because the Gods were stout ; It was a pannick fear possest The Titans ; they in thought possest , At first gave way , anon they run : So by their folly were undone : From thence we must derive the date Of Star-cross Tytan's rigid fate : A meer Goat-skin affrighted so , They ran without or stroak or blow , As if they met ( as people say ) Not to engage , but run away . Those of them that appeared stout , Were forc'd to do as did the rout ; And good shift too , for by Orlando , A man can do but what he can do . But we 'll be like our selves : now see Which of you all will follow me : For he that dares in field to die , Does in the bed of Honour lie : Nor can those Heroes once be dead , But sleep , when laid in Honours bed . Typhon with gladness hearing this , Said to the rest , It were amiss Long to defer their punishment . Quoth Mimas then , By your consent Let us all laugh , rant , tear the ground , So loud , that they may hear the sound On high , the place where they reside ; The noise will somwhat quell their pride : A Match , then cry'd Porphyrion , Who soon was answer'd by Thoon . This Thoon was of Trojan birth , And by Vlysses kill'd to earth . Then joyntly they began to Hollow ; The chief among them were as follow : Great Ephialtes , Neptune's son , He who the attribute had won Of Gyant huge , for strength and hew ; For he nine inches monthly grew : Iapet , Pelor , Celadon , Athos , Damasor , Gration , Cycaon , Clytius , Echion , Pollibotes , Laomedon , Pallenus , and Alcyoneus , Almops , Cynus , and Besbeus , Briareus , Ceractus , and Clius , Anteus , Ascus , Titius , Numantia , Gyas , Bergion , Pallas , Lapetus , and Albion , Lyncus , Buricus , Coeus , Argyropes , and Aloeus , Euritus , Agrius ; with these , The King of Thrace , Diomedes : They all at once did howl and roar , Made thousand antick tricks and more ; And on a sudden they did bawl , A Typhon , Typhon , one and all . Whilst thus they did conspire below , Iove in the clouds ran to and fro , Banning and cursing Carman-like , Commands that neither Gun , nor Pike , Sword , Halbert , Headpiece , Back or Brest , Be wanting in each quarter ; rest Abandons : thus he threatens wonders , Which shortly he 'd perform by Thunders ; Commandeth Mercury prepare Some Exhalations fine and rare ; Use skill and art , but no remorse ; Get them by fair means or by force . The speedy God in haste did run , And told his Message to the Sun ; Who answer'd , he had no such trash But what required ready Cash . The little God assur'd him then , If trust , he should be paid agen . At length quoth Sol , Come , let me see , I seldom deal with friends like thee : Tell Iove , I 'll furnish him with store ; And if he wants , he shall have more . Mercury breaking air in haste , Soon reacht his place forsaken last ; There found he all the Gods assembled , Some stunk for fear , and others trembled ( At these fell Gyants impudence ) A third sort had nor wit nor sense . As soon as Mercury they spy'd , Before , behinde , on every side They flockt about him , to enquire What arms , what men , and what attire The Gyants us'd against their foes . Quoth Mercucy , There 's none but knows As much as I : for can you think That I , that forced was to wink That little time I tarry'd there , Could learn so much as one affair Of what you have so lately spoke ? But I presume they fight with smoke : For I so thorowly was fill'd With fumes , that fearing to be kill'd , I gladly scap'd away . The Gods , By sighs , by symptoms , and by nods , Exprest their careful zeal : for when Gyants are more then meerly men , And threaten to do more then elves , The Gods should seem above themselves . Now by unanimous consent , They straightway call'd a Parliament . Down do they all in order sit , ( Not by their Honestie or Wit , But ) as in Honour they excel , Their method was exactly well . As for Example , God of Seas Took place of him was God of Pease Or Gardens ; and the God of Wine Preceded this , be'ng of the Line And Royal Bloud of mighty Iove , ( Reasons strong enough to move ) To them came Iupiter , with Crown On 's head , on back Skie-colour'd Gown , With Cupid bearing up his Train , For fear of rents , or spots , or stain ; Neatly comb'd and curl'd his hair ; In 's hand a Thunder-bolt he bare , But not so big as them he throws From high , t'exteminate his foes : It was a Pocket-Thunderbolt , Scarce big enough to kill a Colt Not three days old ; onely to shew What Iupiter had pow'r to do : And some there are which do presume 'T was fill'd & stuff'd with sweet Perfume . Next unto him , with visage milde , Old Time came creeping as a childe ; Weary'd , upon his Sythe he leant , With coming thither almost spent : He plac'd himself within a Chayr Next his own son , that he might hear The better . Age had struck him blinde , Or deaf , the truth I cannot finde . Nor is 't material . Pallas then , ( Who something knew belong'd to men ) At first sate down ; but lifting breech From seat , she thus deliver'd speech : Ye Gods , we 're here together met ; What then remains , but that we set In Council how to manage Wars With Gyants that occasion Jars ? Thus said , the Hector Mars stood up , ( And he it seems had got a Cup Too much ) he ratled Oaths so loud , They crackt like Thunder in a cloud : Quoth he , Away with all this noise ; I 'll bring you Typhon and his boys My self : the Gods would honour those Too much , should they appear as foes : Their weapons and themselves I scorn ; Who dares not die , should not be born . Quoth Iove , By all the Gods of Greece , I 'll make that Rascal hold his peace : Thou Flash , 't was Neptune's turn to speak . Mars hearing this , began to sneak ; Sat down as quiet as a Lamb , But in his heart did curse and damn . Iove's brother having hauk'd and hum'd I mean old Neptune cold and num'd , And having spit a pool of Fleam , That stuck in 's throat , & spoil'd his theam When put off hat , and made a bow , He would have spoke , but knew not how The Gods , that like himself were sage , However , did respect his age , Advis'd him cover head with hat , For fear of cold : so down he sat , Adjudging it more meet to sit , Then standing up to cough and spit Among the Gods , who not a few , Were thereby almost like to spew . Then Bacchus who was sitting by , And laughing till he seem'd to cry , Took Handkerchief , and wiping eyes , Impos'd a silence in the skies : But having drank his mornings dose , Quoth he , In spight of Typhon's nose , I 'll an Imbargo lay on Wine ; Nor shall it be consum'd by Swine : For such these Gyants are ; if then They want good Wine , like other men They will appear ; they 're now the high'r By help of Grape that does inspire . The Gods themselves are but as Specter , ( So Men ) if not refresht by Nectar . If they continue drinking Wine , Or feed upon Westphalia-swine , Mushrooms , Shallots , Anchoves , and The chiefest dainties of the Land : So long as they shall have no lack Of Sherry , Malago , and Sack ; They 'll drink until they are as drunk As they that fight for Madam Punk : They 'l call us rogues , & whores & Panders , And those are excellent Maeanders Wherein ( if Gyants are not watcht , The Gods may suddenly be catcht . Thus Bacchus having gravely spoke , Momus , that even then awoke , ( For he before had slept ) stood up , Quoth he , Give Bacchus t'other cup : He that speaks sense deserves to drink ; Fill him some Nectar to the brink : He spake sense now , but drank before ; Give him some drink , he 'll utter more : It should be ( Ganimede ) your part To be provided with a Quart For whoso wants . Thus went he on , Till Iove cry'd out , No more , ha' done , You carping Knave ; or if you 'll not , I 'll mince you small as herbs in pot : Or if you drop a word i' th' way , When any here hath ought to say : This is no more a place for laughing , Then for untimely talk , or quaffing . For all these checks , you may believe The Knave laught at him in his sleeve . Then quoth Salasia , Neptune's wife , This Momus does delight in strife . More she 'd have said , when Vulcan came Limping to Iove , ( for he was lame ) And Blacksmith-like , without a Band , By 'r leave , quoth he , with Cap in hand : Great Sir , I judge we ought to shew What dutie you may claim as due : Yet if you have your eye or ear From Momus , he doth laugh and jear . Then Iupiter I know it well , He 's such another fiend of hell : Nor he , nor any of his Race , Were ever worth a Fiddle-case . But 't is no matter : pray retire , And tell us , thou great God of Fire , The means to quell these Gyant-dogs . Let me alone to forge out Clogs , Quoth Vulcan : but I 'll tell you , Sirs , The best defence against the Curs Is to bar up your windows all With iron Grates , and raise your wall : I 'll forge them out so strong , you 'll say , The workman merits double pay : They shall defend with so much ease , Heav'n needs no other bars then these . The thing requires some haste , I trow ; Straight to my Cyclops will I go , And cause them beat with strength of arm Bars to protect the Gods from harm . So fare you well . 'T was Momus now , That next with tongue began to plow : For 't is to him as Cash and Diet To talk , and poison to be quiet . Quoth he , 'T is foolish ; Gyants are So tall , they 'll reach to iron bar , There fix a hold , by that means get Perhaps to place where now we sit : For if they once get hold of Grate , They 'll quickly burst a room for pate ; And if the head does enter hollow , The body certainly will follow : Now let them use their utmost skill , They can't get in , so hugely ill Their holding is ; for Gyant proud Has nothing to embrace but cloud . Quoth Iupiter , I pray give o'er , We have consider'd this before : What you say we 'll prevent with Guard Shall watch from time the Gods are barr'd ; And they conclude it must be Iron That shall the Deities environ . Thus having said , they all agree To stand or fall by Iove's decree . By this time night came on , and they Adjourn'd to th' next approaching day : For sitting all this while on Crupper , From morning till the time of Supper , They weary'd were ; but now they come As fast as legs could carry bum : One party takes his way to Tavern , Others dispose themselves for Cavern ; But he that made himself a guest , However hasted to his rest . CANTO III. The ARGUMENT . The Gyants give the first Alarm With ill success ▪ again they arm , Renew a second time the fight With like success , are put to flight . Back they return , and gain the odds ; They rout , and they pursue the Gods , Who cunningly do vary shape In Wood , the better to escape . THe news of Gyants war is hot : Some say they 'l fight , & some say not : But Gods and Gyants do intend By War to seek each others end . The Gyants think it better far , Then be as meerly Gyants are : For if of Iove they gain the odds By conquest , they shall all be Gods. Iove likewise summons Exhalations , With other warlike preparations : With these ( as in a trice ) he tries To plant defences for the skies . The Gyants being told by Scout , ( For such went hourly in and out ) They silently without bravado , Consult to stop the Barricado . For things of such a nature sprung , Want action rather then a tongue . So having labour'd all that night , Without or noise , or use of light , Encelades the Gyant bold At first attempt almost got hold Of window small , & thought with chains To make a bridge should answer pains , By which according to his will , With ease he 'd tumble hill on hill . Now by great chance , as Iove would ha 't , He having got a worm in pate , While other of the Gods were sleeping , Had near-hand dearly paid for peeping : For standing high upon a Cricket , With hand he open'd heaven-Wicket ; Encelades began to run : Ods waouns , quoth Iove , we 're all undone . Both were amaz'd ; but Gyant pist A mighty river ere he list Look back : then seeing Iove to nod ; Let Iove be ne'er so much a God , Quoth he , I 'll to him , and relate , As Prophet , his prodigious fate . But Iove was not so much a fool , To stay when Gyant put up tool : For you may think , 't would stir his bloud To see the Gyant piss a floud , And then return with courage new . Iove knowing better what to do , Wisely clapt to the Wicket , and Cry'd to the Gyant , Prethee stand , And cool thy heels . With this his voice Iuno awoke , and hearing noise , Came running : she for haste had spread An old blue Apron on her head ; And on her breech , in stead of coat , A thredbare Cloak not worth a groat : 'T was Gammed's ; but I shall spare To shew its cause of being there . Iuno through cranny did espy Encelades was standing by ; And judging fit , ( as she had reason ) Extended mouth to utter Treason ; And she was not of chops so small , But that she could full loudly baul . Two of the Gods with sword in hand Rusht headlong in : the one cry'd , Stand. Iove mean while keeps a heavie pother : Some Powder here , the rogues to smother ; My Thunder-bolt , my Match , my Flask : Now come , you dogs , I 'll set a task , Quoth he ; and instantly doth catch Up Powder , Thunder-bolt , and Match : No noise , quoth he , of Pipe and Drum ; Finger on nose , and crying Mum : He fits his tackling ; then quoth he , What Iove can do , you straight shall see : With that , unto the window goes , Opes it , and stands upon his toes , Thunder in hand , and strutting now , As in the gutter does the Crow . But Fate had almost done its worst : For whenas Iupiter did burst The Wicket open second time , Encelades did upward climb ; For he had piled stones below , Whereon he stood : and it was now , As soon as Iove had gotten thither , Encelades with quill or feather So brusht the God upon the eye , That he cry'd out , I die , I die : For you may note , the quill was big , Or Iove would not have car'd a fig : Besides , with stroak , upon the ground Was cast , and thereby fear'd a wound : But as it hapt , the greatest hurt Was onely that he fell in durt . Iove was no sooner on his back , But all the rest amazed pack : 'T was wisdom to secure their lives , ( And they must go , the devil drives . ) Iove seeing all were fled away , Got up , and ran as fast as they : And well he scap'd ; for what says Pluck ? The greater Knave , the better luck . The Wicket was ( it seems ) so small , That Gyant had no room to crawl : Which Iove perceived ( being gone ) As far as we may cast a stone : And if from thence he had not seen Encelades to stick between , As Ram that is trappan'd in thicket , Iove never had return'd to Wicket : For at that time , one silly elf Might beat a God or two himself , Their fear amaz'd them so . But when Great Iove returned back agen , Encelades the Gyant saw 'T was time and wisdom to withdraw ; And so he did , with much ado : But Lord , the rubbish that they threw On 's head , when he was gotten down ! And after they had Piss-pots thrown , Went heaps of stones to further slaughter , And Kettles too of scalding water . This made the Gyant quit his place To Mimas , one of Loobie-race , Who loving mischief with his heart , Most ready was to take his part : And th' other Gods on noise of summon , Forsaking beds , in clusters come on ; Some so possest with Leaden sleep And terrour , that they seem'd to peep Through the thin curtains of their eyes . Immediately the Gods advise : The number now grown great , 't was hard You 'll say , if Iove should want a guard ; Nor did he : for when Gyant rascal Came , quoth Iove , My friends , I ask all , Will ye agree to fight ? for why ? You have your choice , or fight , or die : My resolution is to force on , Beyond the angry strength of Orson : But they as Gods made this resolve , Whatever dangers do involve , We 'll follow thee ; nor will we spare In thy behalf to do and dare . With that , Iove taking heart-a-grace , Pluckt Thunderbolt from out of case , And having prim'd and cookt the same , Now then , quoth he , begins the game . By this time Mimas ( almost enter'd ) Surprized Iove , who forthwith ventur'd , Discharging of his Thunder-gun , ( The biggest ever seen by Sun. ) No sooner had the Powder took , But instantly a mighty nook From Gyant Mimas monstrous snout Flew off ; which grieved him , no doubt . But hold , methinks I hear it sed , Could Gyant Mimas get in head And body too , when as the other Could not , with all his art and pother ? For information , you may conster Encelades the greater Monster : I have consulted those that know , And have maintain'd it with a Vow , Mimas was much the lesser man , By furlongs three , and half a span . When Mimas did perceive his treat , He fear'd his dangers might be great : As Proverb saith , his judgement saw , Necessity has little Law. Out did he get mroe fast then in : 'T is true , he left behinde his chin ; What then ? 't is better when in strife , To lose a chin , then forfeit life . 'T was now , when Gods perceived this , That they unanimously hiss ; Call'd Gyant coward , frown'd , and strut , As Cocks o' th' game within a Hut : Their uproar was so hugely lowd , That other Deities do crowd ; From divers parts they 're seen to run , This with a Pitchfork , that with Gun , Another with a Spit , a fourth Perhaps with weapon lesser worth : For when they heard the noise command , Each seiz'd on what came next to hand . The jolly troop in this disguise Marcht on , commanded by the wise And skilful Pallas : never troop More like to make the Gyants stoop . Iove having spied this recruit , Quoth he , Let 's follow in pursuit ; And crying , All 's our own , my boys ; Lay down ( continu'd he ) these toys ▪ Take each of you a well-made sword , 'T will serve the turn , I 'll pass my word . With that , Iove on his Eagle strides ; Swift as the Bird could move , he rides After the Rebels , at which time Each God does to the window climb , Ambitious in their heat of love , Which should be neerest unto Iove . Thus they press on , the Gyants run ; The Gods would fight , the Gyants shun ; The Gods pursue , the Gyants flie ; The Gods prevail , and Gyants die . But as some wiser are then some , Iove order gave , that sound of Drum Should rally forces ; thinking fit , That being weary'd , they should sit And breathe a while . At which God Mars Incensed , cry'd , If us'd to Wars , Or knew of Victory the gain , You 'd surely blush when you complain : Not to pursue them and their fate , May make our selves unfortunate : Let 's on ; for having won the field , Not to persist , is half to yield : And how can we our prize maintain , Unless we do augment our gain ? Ods nigs , see how the raskals sneak . Silence , quoth Iove , that I may speak : You see them there ; I 'll lay my life , Ere it be night I 'll end the strife My self : however , follow me ; Keep close , and you 'll the better see : Although the Sun is scorching hot , And I both Powder want and Shot , I will so cool the rebels courage , You shall have room enough to forrage : They boast they 'll rob us of our lives , Plunder our wealth , enjoy our wives ; Now may they come , if they think good : I feel a fire within my bloud , Which must be quencht . The Gyants now Rally afresh in Battel-row : Encelades appear'd i' th' front : Quoth angry Mars , Now fie upon 't , Delays are dangerous ; I 'll go , And fight , before they rally so . Great Mars he had no sooner done , But spy'd Encelades to run , As if he did intend to say , I am in haste to win the day . Mars does prepare to entertain This Gyant and his Bumkin-train : They meet ; but that is not so strange , As were the blows that they exchange : They hack and hew behinde , before , Till both were little else but gore . Encelades the Monster bold Was almost spent , when Mars cry'd , Hold : So both contended for the field , And either willing was to yield : At last quoth Mars , If you or I Should now in this encounter die , 'T were ill : whose valour does persever , Deservedly should live for ever . With that , both being weary grown , They stop , and cast their weapons down ; Salute each other , and retire , Not to engage , but to admire : For there were others that could fight , Gods and Gyants too of might ; Blows freely fell on either side ; Here lay a broken scull , a hide Lies there , in third place leg or arm : Deities were no more a Charm 'Gainst Gyants , then the others oddes In stature was against the Gods. But Oh the dreadful noise was made With Thunder , Powder , Flask and Blade ! Pan from the Sea had borrow'd shell , Whose sound was loud as that of bell When struck upon . Nor was Iove heard To thunder when he syng'd the beard Of Gyant Mimas , who was struck Not long before , and cursing luck , As he upon the ground did lie , It fortun'd that he cast his eye ( As it took liberty to wander ) On Pallas , son to great Evander . This Pallas did so far engage Among the Gods , that they in rage Surrounded him ; but Mimas rose , And with such courage dealt his blows , That he at once brought Pallas off , And on the Gods revenged scoff Which Iove did to him , when by thunder He parted chin and chaps asunder : At which disaster , boyling hot His bloud was waxt , and he had got In 's hand an implement of War , By some ycleped Iron Bar ; With this , God Mercury he strook , That down he fell ; and then he took The rising blow with such a force , Grim death it self was little worse . Just now the Goddess Pallas came ; ( For there were two that bore the name ) She with the weapon that is common With Goddess as it is with Woman , Exclaim'd on Gyant : he to reach The full proportion of her breech , Erected lofty foot so high , That down he fell : there let him lie . For Bacchus some had called bastard , Enflam'd beyond the rage of dastard , In did he rush , and made such pother , That Gyants fell on one another . Some that were present did divine His valour did proceed from Wine : Howe'er it was , he did excel All but those few that did as well . Silenus drunk as David's Sow , Spurring his ass on , cry'd , Now , now ; Ride over Mimas there in blood : But that did him more harm then good ; For Mimas who was laid to rest , Rose up , and seiz'd upon the beast : Then to Silenus said , I gather You should be that same Bacchus's father : With that , he smote him on the head , That down he fell ( 't was thought ) for dead . But wonders now I mean to tell ; For thus to Gyants it befel : Whilst all the Warriors were in fight , Each studious to declare his might , The silly Ass began to bray , And Gyants fairly ran away : For they not us'd unto the sound , First swore , then swiftly quit the ground : The Gods pursue with might and main , But all their haste and speed was vain ; For what with fighting , and the toyl Of thus pursuing after spoil , Weary'd , they do conclude it fit On grass or somwhat else to sit . No sooner were they seated than A Foot-man came , and thus began : By 'r leave ; I from old Saturn come , To tell you he has learn'd in Rome Some while since of a Cunning man Gyants shall still survive ; nor can The Gods prevent it , ( this you 'll finde , Or else say he 's a Prophet blinde ) Until by search somewhere on earth , You finde a Knight of humane birth , Got on a mortal , by the seed Of one that 's of immortal breed . Besides , he bade me tell you more , One Proteus said as much before ; And this same fellow knew his art So well , he 'd instantly impart A secret , whether wise or silly , Soon , or as learnedly as Lilly. As for Example , thus it was ; Base thief one morning stole from Lass A Bodkin and a Silver-Spoon : The man was took , and hang'd by noon ; But all was by his art : for he Discover'd where the thief could be . Dixi , quoth Footman : Iove with that Commanded he should don his hat , And rest himself , whilst he doth muse , Reflexions making on the news : They Bacchus and Minerva call , Old Neptune , Mercury , and all The Gods that then were nigh at hand : Quoth Iove , You are to understand — Then he began the tale again ; And leaning o'er the Asses Main , Quoth he , Let 's think what must be done . Pallas reply'd , You have a son Nam'd Hercules ; 't is fit you dub Him Knight of the Majestick Club ; And in requital , he alone Will slay the Rascals . Ev'ry one , By voice , or holding up of paws , Gave Pallas her deserv'd applause : Some cry , Defer no longer , send ; Others , Our time too fast does spend ; And we may finde , perhaps too late , The danger to procrastinate : Send Mercury . But Iove forbad ; He 'd rather send the Irish Lad That brought the news but now . With that The nimble Tory dofft his hat , Which shew'd his readiness , to Iove , Who promis'd to requite his love . The Lad rejoycing be was sent , Drank onely Usquebah , and went. No sooner was the Footman gone , ( The Gods carousing ) but anon In haste returns a careful Spie , Cries , Arms , the Gyants drawing nigh : The routed ones that ran so fast Before , met Typhon : he at last Perswaded them to face about , With promise of a total rout To all your Godships . Then quoth Iove , You talk of routing , pray for Love - Sake , tell me what 't was made them run . Silenus's ass ( Sir ) sure as Gun , ( Quoth Bacchus ) with his noise did fright Philistins fierce from heat of fight . Iove then reply'd , He merits much ; Would we had many asses such : I 'd give a pound for mine own part . If all of you did know the art ; Or if but one that might excel , Could play the Ass but half so well . Iove call'd Silenus then , cry'd , Hark , Came he from Smithfield , or Hyde-park ? Silenus answer did extend , 'T was sent as Token from a friend : But if ( great Iove ) it be your will , My Ass shall be your servant still . Iove forc'd a smile at that : for yet When laughing , he could not forget Dangers that were so neer him ; though He thus discours'd , he thought of foe . Then mad that's Gun did not suffize The Gyants pride to civilize , In dumps he sate , as if he'd got A smack too much of Cup or Pot. O' th' sudden now a fearful noise Approacht : 't was Typhon and his boys : Which when the Gods perceive , they call , Heavens have mercy on us all : And well they might ; for had you seen The rabble with their swords so keen ; Big Gyant with his hundred heads , And those how monstrously he spreads ; You surely would with me conclude , Such foes were dreadful , fierce and rude . By this time both the Armies meet , And Typhon thus began to greet The Gods : Where 's he that does command This Host ? we 'd have him understand , We hold our selves agriev'd , and now Bound to our selves by solemn Vow , Resolve , before we part , to have Or satisfaction , or a grave . In 's hand he held a stately Oak . Iove , that he might prevent a stroak , Well thinking 't was no time to think , Fills his great Thunder to the brink , Then throws it at the Gyants head ; However , Typhon is not dead , But eying Iove with scorn and smile , Coughing and sneezing for a while , ( Because some Powder , I suppose , Had flown upon his face and nose . ) Thunder when from an angry cloud In its extreams , was not so loud As Gyants Oaths : he stampt and swore , As if the Gods were to be tore With words : then lifting mighty tree , 'T is thus , base Iove , I 'll answer thee , Quoth Typhon ; and with that he flew As Furies may be thought to do . God Mars , who boldly rusht on foes , Receiv'd a fillip on the nose ; 'T was given by an angry Gyant , ( For why should I tell you a ly on 't ? ) And tumbled backwards on the ground The God of Hectors in a swound . This daunted all the other Gods : The Victors do pursue their oddes . Mars does revive and run : great Iove On Eagles back began to move : Minerva from the skirmish steals , So light was she about the heels . In one word , all the Gods did run , As if the Devil upon Dun Was at their posterns . But O curse , Then evil luck what can be worse ? Whilst Iove with expedition flies , The Bird slips from between his thighs : Down drops great Iove upon the ground ; But as it hapt , scap't hurt or wound . Typhon , whose sole delight was plunder , ( Commanding Gyants to a wonder ) Fell on the Booty and the Wine : These Prizes now ( quoth he ) are mine . Then resting after Chase and Slaughter , Drank Wine in full bowls sine water : Then with a stately step and stride , Continues quest of Iove and Bride , With all the rest o' th' wandring Gods , Frighted as children are at rods ; They shelter seek in pathless Wood : ( That shift at need was hugely good ) For being there in place obscure , A Metamorphosis in ure They put ; and ( if it be no flam ) Iove chang'd himself into a Ram ; Dame Iuno lookt like any Cow , And deigned to the grass to bow ; Neptune assum'd the shape of Hound ; Momus a Jack-a-napes was found ; Apollo wisely acts the Rook ; Bacchus a he-Goat ; Vulcan crook - Ed back and hips , a silly Calf ; Pan was a Rat more big by half Then little Dog ; and Venus Dame , A lovely milk-white Goat became : The warlike Mars chose for his share , To be transform'd into a Hare : His Valour sped so ill , 't was meet To learn the swiftness of the Feet : Luna would not the Cat disdain , Nor Mercury the form of Crane . Thus Nature , that the Gods might scape , Contented was to play the Ape . Mean while the Gyants chafe and scout , As Victors do when after Rout They seek for prey : but Gyants finde , Their sorrow is not far behinde ; For meeting with the Gods , they prove , No foe more dreadful is then Iove . So true is that which Stories tell ; Those that live ill , shall not die well . CANTO IV. The ARGUMENT . The Gods bethink it base to range In Woods , and now resolve to change Their borrow'd shapes : at Nylus-banks God Mercury performs his pranks : They cloath themselves , to Memphis go ; The Priests and People kindness shew : Great Hercules they send for , who Attends them with no more ado . IT was just now 'tween Dog and Bitch , Or Hawk & Buzzard , ( chuse you which ) The Gods adventur'd out of Wood : For they behalves had understood Of Gyants course ; and each had thought There was no danger to be caught : For from the biggest to the least , Each God was turn'd into a beast Or bird ; their hazard nothing so , That they should stand in fear of foe . Gyants , although they oft pass by , Yet when a Ram or Goat they spie ; In this same place an Hound , an Ape , A Cow , or beast of different shape ; In other place a Rat , of nature ( No matter which ) for land or water ; They little dream'd that there should lie In any beast a Deity . For who is he , that as he pass , Would once imagine Cow at grass Should be a God ? The Gyants run With eagerness as they begun ; Beset and search the wood , then finde There 's nothing like a God ; so blinde Was Gyants apprehension . Then The Gods that were secure from men Or Gyants , do consult a while In Council by the river Nyle ; When in conclusion they agree To be as Gods were wont to be , Each to shake off his present shape : For since they clearly made escape , Why should great Iove in danger go Of injuring his feet or toe ? For what with gravel , slime , and mud , ( Which border'd on the neighbour floud ) Like sheep they forced are to slide , Or else with bare-foot to abide On stones : for Rams do never use To clad their feet with Boots or Shooes ; Besides , so thick was Iove of Wooll , He fum'd and sweat like any Bull Whom angry dogs do put in fear . And Madam Iuno , as I hear , A thorn had got within her toe , That did produce her mi●kle wo : But 't was not Iove's nor Iuno's grief Alone ; but being they were chief O' th' company , I need not strain To shew how all the Gods complain . Iove thinking now 't was time to speak , Made an Oration in the Greek To th' other Gods ; and I thought good ( Because it should be understood ) To English it ; and thus it follows : My friends , we 've now escap'd the gallows ( Thank Heaven for 't ) but what will say Succeeding ages , that we stray In these uncomely shapes ? By this , The Gods will all become a hiss Or by-word : Gyants , if they know My Iuno takes the form of Cow , They 'll make her subject of their laughter To ages that shall be hereafter : Or when a God is seen , they 'll say , Beware of horns , or Mutton , Ba. 'T is better never to be born , Then so to live the mock and scorn Of ev'ry mortal . Iove ( whose eyes Were wet before ) now plainly cries ; And I my self could almost borrow From other subjects of my sorrow A tear or two . But Natures course By this time spent , Iove did with force Proceed ; and what he said were words To this effect : Though sticks and swords Are wanting , yet it would be worse , Should we be subject to the force Of Gyants : heaven thus contrives , They sha'n't be masters of our lives : We are not far from Memphis-town , Let 's enter ere the Sun goes down ; But first let Mercury make haste To change his shape , now danger 's past : 'T were well if he a Cloak could steal , ( For being bare from head to heel ) 'T will be uncomely if he go Stark naked from the top to toe . When Mercury is clothed thus , I 'd have him get some cloathes for us . The God most forward to reveal The stock he had of love and zeal For Iove , said nothing but Amen ; Great Iove , it shall be done . And then No sooner said , but straight he flies In shape of Crane , till he espies Some Youngsters washing in a pool : The Crane ( so like a harmless fool ) Lights neer the cloathes , as almost tyr'd : The youths beheld , and all admir'd : A Crane ! says one ; let 's make a match Immediately the Crane to catch : Done , says another . Thus they talk : The Crane mean time does bend his walk To th' cloathes , and by and by amain Cast off his borrow'd shape of Crane . So having done , he puts on dress . All were amazed , you may guess , Who saw this sudden transformation , More strange then ever was in nation . Mercury like a pretty lad , With all their cloathes begins to gad . The youths belike had learnt some Oaths ; So swore the devil had their cloaths : But they all naked , knew not how To follow him : nor did they know What to imagine : but the God Made so much haste , that straight he trod To Usurer , and pawn'd a Pearl Of Iuno's , or some other girl : The owner of it was some Lass ; However , we may let that pass : The Pearl it was of value such , That he of Coyn procur'd as much As bought up habits of the best , For Iove , for Iuno , and the rest ; Then bought a lusty Mule to bear Unto the Gods his purchas'd ware : It was not long until he came , Redeeming all the Gods from shame , Each of them with an earnest motion , Measures habit with proportion . Mercury thus performing part ; When done , quoth he , I know a tart - Wench lives hard by at signe of trumpet , Perhaps you 'll take her for a strumpet ; But be she what she will , 't is meet We visit her to drink and eat . This course they all applaud as best ; And Mercury , that was her guest Before , was order'd to repair Unto her , to bespeak the fare . Mercury flew , until he lit Just at the door , and then 't was fit He close his wings , and walk : beside , He walkt not half a dozen stride Until he enters . Welcome , Sir , The Tapster cries . Then answers Mer - Cury , I would converse with Dame. Quoth fellow , May I crave your name ? Then straight the Goodwife does appear : Quoth she , I pray , good Sir , draw neer ; You 're welcome . She was frying Tripe . The God then call'd for Pot and Pipe : Down do they sit : but Oh the bliss Was then in ev'ry glance and kiss , Whenas they talkt ! for you may think , Their hearts were filled to the brink With joy : for Mercury was mannish ; Soon he dispatcht his Pipe of Spanish ; Then having in a Note set down What diet could be had in Town , The Maid was call'd , and Hostess sent her To buy o' th' best : and now does enter The rest o' th' Gods , a worthy troop ; By turns , they ev'ry one do stoop To kiss the Hostess : Iove began ; Then Neptune , Bacchus , Mars and Pan , And so the rest . When Iuno saw her , In haste and anger calls the Drawer To bring some Wine : for she did grutch The goodwife should be buss'd so much , And she her self had none . Quoth Pan , Just now I to the Garden ran , Where there are most delightful bow'rs , And like for all the world to ours . Oh me ! quoth Iuno , let 's go there ; I love to have the smell of air . No sooner were they out , but all The town came flocking , great and small , To see the Troop : for they had heard An Army came , and were afeard . One cries , Alas , we shall be undon : Another says , They 're blades of London ; For that 's a wilderness , we know , Where many such tall Cedars grow . Thus while they chat , a world appear : In time , the Cat does lick her ear . One bauls , What Gallants trow are these ? Another answers , Hold your peace ; They 're Kings that usually are wont In numbers brave ( as these ) to hunt . Another whispers , How the Inne Smells sweet as 't were of Benjamin ▪ The next more wisely gives a ghess , They 're Players . All of them express Their thoughts : but som were apt to think Players were not so full of Chink : But others thwart them , saying then , They 're now the chiefest Gentlemen : Are they not clad in Plush and Sattin ? And don't they sometimes visit Mattin ? Do they not strut with Muff and Sword ; Keep company with Knight and Lord ? Let me not now forget to tell How Iove had sent where once did dwell The great Alcides : he that went , Was absent till eight days were spent . About that time , Iove casting eye From window , 't was his chance to spie Alcides : straight down stayrs he runs , And clapping fist into his son's , How dost , quoth he , my bonny Lad ? What , hast thou quite forgot thy Dad ? 'T is true , as ancient story goes , That childe is wise , nown father knows . Quoth Hercules , Oh , now I see You are the same ; I , you are he . With that , the complements renew , And each does render devil due . Whilst they embrace , the other Gods Were almost 'mongst themselves at oddes Who first salutes Alcmena's son . By this , Iove's complements were done : With that , the Gods came all a-row To honour great Amphytrio ▪ With tears in eyes they wept for joy , Meerly for sight of Iove's great boy . The strangers though the most were mutes When they observed these salutes , Flockt shrewdly : but when Iove they spi'd , ( Who now had re-assum'd his pride ) They great observance shew'd ; for he ( All saw ) was chiefest in degree . But one amongst the rest , more bold Then his companions , cry'd out , Hold ; Observ'd you him did just now nod ? ( The devil take me ) he 's a God : I know it by his garb and state , By his deportment , and his gate ; His looks declare it : nay , ( what 's more ) I have been told as much before . This News , as well as other things As strange , immediately took wings ; So that in little space it came To their High-priest , a man of fame ; Who hearing this , the truth to know , Resolves with company to go In person ; and when there , to do His duty , if report held true That they were Gods : with him he brings For presents , fine Cornelian Rings Some thirty thousands ; nineteen score Of Crocodiles new come to shore : Ichneumones , what beast is that ? Some do suppose it Pharaoh's Rat ; Of them threescore : Hippopotames , Or a Sea-horse , the more known name is , As tame as Pigeons ; these a score : Of Eel-skin-gloves some ten times more . The high-priest come , the presents given , The crowd o' th' people further driven , Complements past on either part ; Iove seem'd content , and glad at heart : The Priest makes offer of protection Within his Land , with great affection : Iove likewise does return him thanks , With promise to protect his banks From what doth usually harm ; He 'd give them a preventing Charm Against the strength of Creatures stature , Or venom of depraved nature : All this on free-cost . Mercury , That present was , could even cry , That Iove should not consider how Through earth and air he us'd to plow To serve the Gods both to and fro : Yet Iove as much and more did know ; And for requital , bids him dance Afresh perhaps as far as France . Now Iove and Priest by this time sate On breech , their stories to relate : For being in an unknown clime , Not knowing how to spend their time , They will that each a passage tell Of what had formerly befel . When now it came to jocund Priest , ( Most ready to oblige the rest ; For he of all was much the lesser ) He story told of predecessor : Silence he crav'd , and did prevail : Then thus began THE PARSONS TALE . A crafty man in Country-town , Had wife was of a comely brown , And lov'd by neighbour-Parson , who At vacant hours came there to woo . The husband knowing Parson Fulpit ( Ycleped so ) in fleshly Pulpit Was wont to preach , casts how to catch Them both ; and thus contrives his watch . Sweetheart , quoth he , my business says I must go travel seven days . Nay , quoth the wife , if so you do , Why may not I go travel too ? Then , as was wont , came in the Parson ; Spies Chair and Cushion , sets his arse-on . Quoth wife to Priest , My husband , Sir , Is taking journey . I infer , Then cry'd the Parson , he hath cause . The husband after making pause , ( Which shew'd he was in minde perplext , That Priest should chuse his wife for text ) He doth befit himself with speed ; Gives kiss to wife , and mounts his steed . The Parson then , and wife , by joynt Consent , begin to handle point ; Thought of a Chamber , went into 't , As best befitting close dispute : What were the arguments befel , I make no doubt but you can tell . But one thing should not be forgotten , The Parsons principles were rotten ; A Sceptick , or as Martial saith , A wanderer with waving faith ; Fickle , when he swore he loved Beyond or Aretine or Ovid. But th' honest man , whose mind did burn , As he intended , made return ; Sees wife and Parson both withdrawn ; Peeps , and spies Priest in sleeves of Lawn , As he suppos'd , but 't was his Shirt ; Nor had he Girdle to begirt : But as in Country-town no watch Is us'd , so door had onely latch , Which having lifted up , he enters , And first upon his wife adventers : So having chid , and scorn'd , & mockt her , Leaves her , and thus accosteth Doctor : Come now , Sir Leacher , you that stand With Shirt on back , and Cloaths in hand , Deliver habit , or at once This Penknife sharp shall off with stones . The Parson , who was sore affright , As doubting whether man or spright , Admir'd to see the husband come , Who just before was gone from home . But whether 't was through fear or cold , It matters not , his hands unfold , And down apparel falls . The man That stood with knife in hand , began To lay them by : which having done , Cries , Parson , sure as mothers son , Thus naked without Cloathes or Crutch , You shall immediately to Church , And there do Penance thus in white . Quoth Parson ( vowing , By this light ) I 'd rather die : good neighbour chuse Some other Penance ; I 'll refuse Nothing that you 'll impose , provided You will not see your friend derided . On that the husband makes behest To wife , to reach him key of Chest : With it doth straightway Chest unlock , And makes the Parson put in Cock ; And having us'd an art to fasten Priest Cock-sure , he away doth hasten To Penknife which he hard by laid , That made the Parson sore afraid : He puts the knife in Parsons hand , And caus'd his wife by his command To fire the Chest : for you must know , On purpose it was fill'd with tow . The Chest on fire , both man and wife Leave Parson there with Cock and Knife ; Run out of doors , and make a noise By crying Fire . That dreadful voice Rais'd all the Parish , and as Torch , Might guide them unto what did scorch The Parson : in they ran , but cry'd , Neighbours beware , we shall be fry'd ; Or else if fire make house to fall , 'T will surely be the death of all . The Parson , who had heard them coming , 'Twixt shame & synging left his humming ; Takes knife , and with a valiant slash Brings body off , but leaves poor Swash Amidst the angry flames to fry : Judge , did not Swash a Martyr die ? He hanged was , and quarter'd too ; And he was burnt : but I should do Much wrong to Parson and to Cocks , Should I maintain a Paradox . Just now a messenger brings word , Typhon did mean with fire and sword , With clubs , with staves , & other weapon , Visit the Gods , and warfare keep-on ; Sends thus to Iove , In spight of 's nose , In heav'n he 'd suddenly ●epose : To that same end , it was his will , Mountain should bear the weight of hill , Great Oss on Pelion should stand , That heaven might be toucht with hand . These News it seems were very true ; For Typhon and his Gyant-crew Had ransackt wood throughout and round ( But th' devil a God was to be found ) And were come back to mighty hill , To Crane it up ( by strength and skill ) On th' other ; and about threescore Of hills , but less then those before , Were got already on a heap . Then Iove , who fetcht a sigh most deep , Reply'd , We then will take our lot , But beat the Iron while it 's hot : Though they are Gyants great and tall , Their clambring may produce a fall ; And the event may make it plain , They 're hastie onely to be slain : My son , we 'll stop their course before Upon those hills they set up more : For if we all ( ere they surmise ) Fall on , we cannot miss the Prize . Hercules fingers itch to be In action . Th' other Gods , who see His courage , 'gin to banish fear ; Take heart a-grace , and prick up ear . Quoth Hercules , My Club's a tongue , That can both speak , and right a wrong : Moreover , quoth the lofty Yonker , I scorn to go to fight , but conquer . Then up they get on legs again , ' Boldly to follow their Chieftain , Who leads them on through thick & thin Sometimes up almost to the chin . I will not be so tedious as To give relation how it was With all the Gods , or any one ; Or whether they had horse , or none , Or rode on Elephants or Camels ; Whether they crost brooks , ponds or chanels : We will suppose them now to be Arriv'd beneath a spreading tree , Resting themselves for half an hour , Not far from Gyant Typhon's Tow'r : That time expir'd , Iove rouzes up , Calls for some Wine , and drinks a Cup ; Chuses a lustie Bolt of Thunder ( Did you but see it , you would wonder ) Out of a Cart-load they had brought From Memphis , Bolts but newly wrought By Vulcan's own hand , therefore good . Hercules , who by 's Daddy stood , Takes up his weapon , and by night They march , till they approached right Against the place where Typhon lay Asleep . Without the least delay , Iupiter primes his Bolt so great ; From him the standers by retreat For fear of harm , and Iove himself Was wary to avoid that shelf By which so many had been split ▪ For ( in his anger ) he had wit. No God , though young , or old in years , Should Thunder flie about his ears , But 〈…〉 e fear'd , and days of yore , 〈…〉 nder never saw before . 〈…〉 Iove holds it on the right ; Then suddenly , as full of fright , He changes it unto the left : Then spying that the ground was cleft On which he stood , he fastens it W●●hin the same : all being fit , He puts his Match upon a Spire , 〈…〉 rcht out , presenting fire ; Looks t'other way , & cries , Does 't touch ? Then puffs and sweats , his fears were such . But Hercules , who stood at distance With Club and Sword in hand , assistance Gives to his Daddy , in these words : Let 's leave these guns , & use our swords . Go to , you fool , quoth Iove , and tell Me , when I am aside , or well . With that , he stretches out once more His arm and Lintstock as before : How am I now , quoth Iove ? Too low , Quoth Hercules ; too high : so , so . Pish , quoth the touchhole ; bounce , the gun : On th' earth both father and the son Lie sprawling : Iove holds up his head At last : How dost , my boy ? art dead ? Quoth he ; may we rise safely yet ? Amphytrio answers , I have fit Of Shiv'ring on me , as an Ague . Then fight , quoth Iove , & 't will not plague you . The noise soon reached Typhon's lugs , Who lay on bed with thousand Rugs , All large , and warm as so much Buff , Yet all was scarce ( or but ) enough ; So big was he : from bed he starts ; Ods bobs , quoth he , who is 't that farts So loud , and thus disturbs my rest ? I 'll pull his heart from out his brest , Whoe'er it be . Then quoth his brothers , 'T was none of us , Sir , but some others : It sounded like the Thunder-crack Of Iove ; he may be at our back . Keep a strict guard to night , quoth Typhon , And when 't is day , d'on each his knife-on ; Be sure you want nor swords nor trees , When once you 'gin to kill the fleas : Right early in the morn we 'll rise ▪ To execute our enterprise : We searcht ( but all in vain ) on ground , No God nor Goddess could be found : From heaven now they issue out , Onely that we may rise and rout : The glory of their mighty feat , Is to come on , and to retreat : Encelades shall scale their fort , Whilst others of you finde them sport With Oaks , and quarters great of Rocks ; Be sure you follow close your knocks . Some slept till morn , as void of fear ; Others carouse in wine and chear , Drink healths unto the Gods confusion , None apprehending their delusion . Mean while , the Gods do understand Exactly , how from Gyants hand Their distance stood , expecting hour When to engage . Mars makes a sowre Face , and is mad to fight the foe ; So is the great Amphytrio . Great Iove at this doth fret and fume , When Mars so boldly durst presume : Then calling Hercules from chatter , With him he does debate the matter ; Concludes they should a Council call : And Iove thereunto summons all . CANTO V. The ARGUMENT . Jove and his son Alcides go By joynt consent in quest of foe . Gyants scale heaven to a wonder ; From thence are headlong thrown by thunder . A fight determines , where 's the odds On Gyants side , or on the Gods. Gyants are slain , and Typhon flies : Great Jove pursues , and Typhon dies . NOw come I to rehearse ( in stile As blithe as is within a mile Of Oak ) the fierce and fearful blows Which past between the Gods and foes . Iove ●ed the Gods , as 't was his manner : The Gyants under Typhon's Banner Engage : and now was Gyants war Worse then the Counter-scuffle far . When now Encelades design'd Heav'n should be scal'd , 't was in the mind Of Iove , and Hercules disguis'd , ( Who by the Gods were so advis'd ) That onely they should lurk and spie How Gyants Camp and they do lie : Or having left their strong Ale tapping , They thought perhaps to catch them napping . But Oh the fire and noise so great ! Which when the Gods see , they retreat , With this resolve , the following day To fall upon them sans delay . By this time , day began to peep , And Madam Moon was gone to sleep , When Iove and great Amphytrio Saw Gyants marching to and fro , Scaling the skies without a Ladder , It made great Iove be much the gladder : For seeing Gyants so mistake , His Thunderbolt he 'gins to make Ready ; and setting fire unto 't , Plows hills and mountains up by root ; Down do they tumble flat as Pancakes : To clear his face , he Iuno's Fan-takes , To brush the dust : he brought it out On purpose : divers of the rout Within the rubbish found their doom . By this time , other Gods make room , As from their lurking holes they run ; Then shout as if they 'd ne'r have done . Sometimes they hollow , then they bawl , A Iove , a Iove ; the Gyants fall . Those that the dust did spare to smother , Would give one eye to save the other . Did you ne'er see on Lord Mayors day The Green-men , how they clear the way With firy Clubs ; or in a Ring , At Cudgel-sport , or Wrastelling , A sturdy Butcher , Stick in hand , On back Red Wastcoat , ne'er a Band , Hat before eyes , and Bandying Shins , Smiting by th' way Spectators Chins , Till he has made a Circle , great Enough for Blades to do the feat : Or at Bear-garden , how Black Will ( The Bull , I mean ) doth shew his skill In tossing Butchers , when got loose , With as much ease as Fox doth Goose ? Just so doth Thunder-thumping Iove Sometimes beneath , sometimes above , On right , on left , behinde , before , Till compassed by Wounds and Gore , And at his feet lay Gyants dead Some score or two , which he had sped . Alcides then with Club or Bill Does follow him to slash and kill : Alcyoneus by his arms Soon was dispatched out of harms Way , by a great blow with his Club : So fell that great and mighty Lub - Ber ; he the first Alcides slew In this hot Combat . Now with Yew And Ivie crown'd , comes Bacchus on , Pretty well fluster'd , half way gon ; Who gain'd great honour in the fray , O'er-running all that stood in way As torrents do ; his train as free - Ly drunk , or somewhat more then he . One of them runs a Gyant through , Another beats one black and blue . Apollo then does shoot so right With shaft that 's sharp as well as bright , Hits Ephialtes in the eye ; And Hercules that then stood by , Pokes out his other : farewel he . Mercury does no sooner see But kills : Porphyrion made it good , Surrendring up his life and blood . Mimas gives Mars a maul o' th' pate ; But Mars , as with a mortal hate , Runs to him , grasps him ; so they tug : But Mars , who knew the Cornish Hug Full well , threw Gyant on his back , So that his bones did seem to crack . Dame Atropos in rage pursues Pallenus , who in vain did use Skill to avoid her ; for in sum , She follow'd till she wounded bum . Encelades now turning Chance , ●●pes to the Gods another Dance : Quoth he , When Honour is in doubt , Bravely to fight , is to get out . This Devil , mad that he had mist His enterprise , gave with his fist A blow upon Silenus's Hide , That broke the thing hung by his side ; It was a fair and ample Flask ( Which held as much as does a Cask ) Fill'd with the best Canary-wine Extracted ever was from Vine : At which he more amazed stood , Then if it had been so much blood ; The which had given Gyant time To have dispatcht him ; but sublime Alcides to his rescue came . The Gyant , when he saw the same , Was mad : for blows went up and down , From side to feet , from thence to crown . The Goddesses stand by and curse , To see how things went worse and worse : For bloudy Typhon hews and hacks O'er legs and shoulders , arms and backs , Among the Gods : he held in hand A tall Pine , which he did command With ease : it was the same with which He formerly the Gods did switch . But AEsculapius steps in , And claps a Salve upon the shin O'th'wounded Gods , that they were sound As soon as Typhon gave the wound : And none was able to reveal Their swiftness or to hurt or heal . Iupiter mad to be withstood By Gyant , in his heat of blood Sets a great Thunderbolt on fire , And throws the same in wrath and ire At Gyant head , who with a flap From tree in hand did make it snap Like glass in shivers . Iove at that Stept back to gather up his hat ; Which gave the Gyant time to seise Him by the collar : then with ease He 'gan to cuss him at his will ; I think h 'had given him his fill , Had not God Mercury ran by I' th' shape of Hebe . Typhon's eye No sooner saw the Girl , but she Was heard to laugh aloud , Tee-hee . At length , when Typhon spi'd the Cheat , He throws great Iove beneath his feet ; But he himself had not the strength To stand when Iove was laid at length . Iupiter first got up again : With Thunder , and with might and main , He makes attempt at Gyants head , And therein fortunately sped ; For ere the Gyant was aware , He found he had a soft place there . I' th' nick of this came great Alcides , With the brave Club he bears on highdays , And lays upon the Gyants head : ( The blow had surely struck me dead ) The Gyant backward reels , and falls ; No Lion could out-roar his bawls : The three Gods fall upon his bones ; Cries Mercury , Cut off his stones . But Madam Iris came to tell Great Iove what newly had befel His party ; that they were almost Just ready to abandon Post. With that , the three Gods leave their foe , But bruis'd and maim'd from head to toe : Fast did they run as legs could carry ; For then it was no time to tarry . But coming to the Gods recruit , The Gyants do forsake pursuit : The Gods their courage re-assume : Iupiter swore he like a Broom Would sweep the Rogues to ashes : Mars Held one whilst Venus prickt his a — With Silver Bodkin : you must know , Mars took a pride in doing so : And something too must be obscene , Or this had no mock-Poem been . At last , with pat upon the crown , He fairly fillipt Gyant down . Hercules killeth Euritus ; Pan , Athos ; and Hypolitus By Mercury on earth did lie : It griev'd him dev'lishly to die , Not being us'd to 't heretofore : Quoth he , I now shall say no more But this , 'T is sorrow makes men wise ; The Sun must set as well as rise . Then Mimas kill'd Silenus's Ass , For which Mars made him such a pass , That you might see his body through ; Mars crying , Friend , now there 's for you . Then Cupid with his little sword Slew Cynus next ; and on my word , Diana smote poor Thoon , that She laid him on his back so flat , As she suppos'd he had been dead ; But some report he rose and fled . The Goddess Pallas then fell on , And she Pallenus slew anon . Enceladus was slain the next ; ( For so we finde it in the text ) And Neptune with his Trident fierce The stout Pollibotes did pierce . At last the Gods to Typhon come , And he they found was biting thumb : When he beheld the Gods , with rage In combat fresh he doth engage ; With legs he spurns against the Gods , Kicks on the Belly and the Cods , On Shins , and sometimes on their Bum He beats as fast as Stick on Drum. Briareus with his hundred hands , In each of them a Rock commands : These Rocks at Iove he casts at once , With hope thereby to crush his bones . But soon this fear was at an end ; Nor he nor Typhon could defend Themselves a minute longer . Iove And Hercules with fury move : Iove seizeth Typhon in his arms , ( For now his valour lost its Charms ) And having drawn a Pocket-gun With Powder charg'd , he asked son If he should shoot . The son reply'd , They 'd bury him before he dy'd : But whether they did so or no , It matters not , nor do I know . But Typhon answer'd , Death or Fate Can't strike too soon , or force too late : For he was fitted ere they came ; Death brought no terrour but its name : Since life attempts with wings to flie , The Gods should see , he durst to die . Thus cunningly he holds dispute , Whilst Iove attendeth him as mute : Anon ( grown desperate ) by strength From Iove he struggles ; and at length , When gotten loose , with might and main He nimbly trips o'er hill and plain Till got to Italy ; 't is sed , From thence to Sicily he fled ; And there his final overthrow Surpris'd him : Iove from head to toe With AEtna hid him . Stories tell , This AEtna is the mouth of hell . Briareus tasted of the fate His brother did . And thus the State Of Gyants was dethron'd : for why ? Who spurns against a Deity , Can less expect ? Let Gods be still Unjust , no force can quell their will. But Typhon , some are bold to say , Has ever since that fatal day Spit through the Rocks both fire & smoke Enough ten thousand men to choke . However , Vice you see will finde Its pleasures have a sting behinde : And men must know , there 's always Rods In piss , for those blaspheme the Gods. FINIS . 
A59018	----	The secret history of K. James I and K. Charles I compleating the reigns of the four last monarchs / by the author of The secret history of K. Charles II and K. James II. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1690 Approx. 166 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 91 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2004-11 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A59018 Wing S2339 ESTC R234910 12739599 ocm 12739599 93088 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A59018) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93088) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1536:10) The secret history of K. James I and K. Charles I compleating the reigns of the four last monarchs / by the author of The secret history of K. Charles II and K. James II. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [12], 143 [i.e. 167] p. s.n.] [London : 1690. "Supposed to have been written by John Phillips." -- Lowndes. Pages 166-167 misprinted 142-143. Imperfect: print show-through with slight loss of print. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Great Britain -- History -- Early Stuarts, 1603-1649. 2004-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2004-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-08 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2004-08 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2004-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Secret History OF K. JAMES I. AND K. CHARLES I. Compleating the Reigns OF THE Four last Monarchs . By the Author of the Secret History of K. Charles II. and K. James II. Printed in the Year 1690. THE PREFACE . THO' we ought not rashly to rake into the Ashes of Princes , and expose either their Personal Miscarriages , or their Failures , in Management of the Government ; yet , no doubt , but the making them Publick , may sometimes contribute , not a little , to the General Good : This is evident , from the Effects of our Secret History of the ▪ Two last Monarchs ; since by it , the most wilfully Blind may be convinced how infinitely Happy we are , under their present Majesty's Government ; beyond what we were , in the late Reigns ; which were but a very inconsiderable matter ( if any thing ) below the French Tyranny ; and by setting the unparallel'd Vertues , that are so Resplendent in our Gracious Soveraigns , in opposition to those Ignominious Vices that reigned in the Other , we may , with all the reason in the World , assure our selves of a lasting Peace ; and as much Happiness under Them Now , as we had Troubles and Confusions under the Former : For Their Religion , Integrity , and Moderation , ( which must always be in conjunction with Princes , that are truly Patres Patriae , ) are as Notorious to the World , ( so that Their greatest Enemies cannot deny them ) as were the Atheism , and furious Bigottism of the Two former Reigns ; Vices much of the same pernicious Consequences to a Kingdom , if the latter be not the more dangerous ; since the greatest Villanies , that ever were perpetrated in the World , have been Masqued with seeming Zeal for Religion . But since there are not a few , who , tho' they seem to decry the Tyrannies of the Two late Kings , yet approve of much the same Actions of the Two that Preceded Them , ( One of whom , some Men have Vainly , if not Blasphemously , compared to the King of Kings . ) I thought it not amiss , to Communicate a few Passages of Their Reigns , that do not so commonly occur ; especially since they laid the Foundations of that Tyranny , which the Others brought to so great a Perfection . As to the former of Them , viz. K. James I. it will easily appear , from this following History , what great steps He made towards Tyranny : It is certain , That the reason He gave for setting up Episcopacy in Scotland was , That He might have so many Friends to rely upon in Parliament , i. e. That by them , as the Dead-Weight , He might the better carry on His Designs there : And herein His Politicks did not deceive Him ; for , by their Means , He and his Successors , found it no hard matter to reduce that Kingdom to as great Slavery , as any Europe hath groaned under of late Years . How great a Proficient He was , in the Art of Dissimulation , or King-Craft , will be no less apparent : I shall only insert one Instance of it Here , which I omitted in the History , especially , because I think it may not be ungrateful to the Reader , viz. That after His return from Denmark to Scotland , seeming mightily satisfied with the Care the Kirk-Party had taken to preserve the Kingdom in Peace , during his Absence ; He was pleased to express himself thus , in a general Assembly , That He blest God , that He was Born at sike a Time of the Gospel , and to be King of sike a Kirk , the purest Kirk in the World : The Kirk of Geneva , says He , keep Yeul and Pasch ; What have they from the Word of God for that ? And for our Neighbour Kirk of England , What is their Service , but an ill said Mass in English ? And concluded with the Solemnest Promises , to Maintain & Preserve the Kirk ; when ( in the mean while ) He was taking all underhand Methods to Supplant it , as He did a few Years after . And as to His Successor , tho' a Kalender'd Saint ; yet after all the lying Insinuations of Self-designing , and — ridden Persons , of that Princes singular Religion , that very Act of Instituting Plays and Sports on the Lord's-Day , is no extraordinary Proof of it . Nay , it would be as easie to perswade a Person of any Religion , to believe , that the Alcharon is the Word of God , as that a Prince , of any Religion , could be guilty of so Irreligious an Act , as that was ▪ But I will not weary the Reader 's Patience with a large Preface , since the very Subject of the following History will recommend it self sufficiently to the Perusal of all Lovers of ou● English Liberties . THE Secret History , &c. QUEEN Elizabeth , of Glorious and Happy Memory , Dying the 24th of March , 1602 , about Three in the Morning , to the great grief of all Her loving Subjects in general : About Nine in the Morning of the same day , was Proclaimed King James , by the Name of JAMES the First : And now many post into Scotland , for to get Preferment , by ●urchasing Friends with their Purses , ( Gold and Silver being a precious Commodity in that Climate , and would obtain any thing ) which did ●rocure Suits , Honours , and Offices ▪ ●o any that first came . And now all Preparations was made to meet the KING in York , that he might , in that Northern Metropolis , appear like a King of England , and take that State on him there , which was not known in Scotland : There met Him all the Lords of the Council , and there did they all make Court to the Scotch-Men , that were most in Favour with the King ; and there did the Scotch Courtiers lay the first Foundation of their English Fortunes ; the chief of them was Sir George Hewme , a kind of Favorite ; but not such as after appeared , with young Faces and smooth Chins ; but one that for his Wisdom and Gravity had been in some Secret Counsels with his Master , which created that dearness between them ; and the chief of those Secrets , was that of Gowry's Conspiracy , though that Nation gave little credit to the Story , but would speak both slightly and despitefully of it ; and those , the Wisest of that Nation ; knowing indeed there was no such Conspiracy ; yet , that the World might be still abused , they continued to Mock Almighty GOD , by a Weekly Commemoration in the Tuesday's Sermon , and an Anniversary-Feast , as great as it was possible , for the Kings Preservation , ever on the Fifth of August : And I wish the effects of those Sermons in the Father's time , were not one cause of God's Anger towards the Son. Sir Robert Cecil , by the means of Sir George Hewme ( the Favorite , ) contrary to most Peoples expectations , not only gets into the Favour of King James , but in such dearness and privacy with the King , as if he had been his Faithful Servant for many Years ; his Friends , Wit , or Wealth , did not raise him so much ( as some believ'd ) as the ill Offices done by him to this Nation , in discovering the Nature of the People , and shewing the King the way how to enhance his Prerogative so above the Laws , that he might Enslave the Nation ; which , though it took well then , yet it hath been of sad and dangerous consequence in after-times ; for , first , he caused great numbers of Parliament Precedents , concerning the Liberties of the Subject , to be burnt ; next , raising Two Hundred Thousand Pounds , for making Two Hundred Baronets ; telling the King , He should find his English Subjects like Asses , on whom he might lay any Burthen ; but this Statesman died soon after very Miserable , coming from Bath , and was Buried on the top of a Mole-Hill , near Marleboroug● . The principal Managers of the English Affairs , were Salisbury , Suffolk , Northampton , Buckhurst , Egerton , Lord-Keeper , Worcester , and the Old Admiral : For the Scots , Sir George Hewme , now Earl of Dunbar , Secretary Elfeston , and the Lord of Kinloss . Salisbury had now shaken off all those that were great with him in Queen Elizabeth's days ; as Sir Walter Rawleigh , Sir G. Carew , the Lord Grey , and the Lord Cobham . Now begins Ambassadors to appear from divers Princes ; the chief was Roney , Duke of Sullia , from the French King ; the Constable of Castile , from the Spanish King ; the Count Arremburgh , from the Arch-Duke : To bring these Ambassadors over , were appointed Sir Robert Mansel , being Admiral , and Sir J. Turner , his Vice-Admiral , to bring over the French and Spanish Ambassadors , in which happened some Dispute . The Constable of Castile so plyed his Masters business , ( in which he spared for no cost ) that he procured a Peace , so advantageous for Spain , and so disadvantageous for England , that It and all Christendome have since both seen and felt the lamentable effects thereof : There was not one Courtier of note , that tasted not of Spain's Bounty , either in Gold or Jewels ; and among them , not any in so large a proportion , as the Countess of Suffolk , who shared in her Lords Interest ▪ that in truth Audley-end , that Famou● Structure , had its Foundation of Spanish-Gold . GOD , for some secret Intent , ( bes● known to himself ) laid the Foundation of this King's Reign with th● greatest Plague or Mortality , ever before heard of in this Kingdom ; and some by that judged what his futur● Reign would be : He was forced b● that Contagion to leave the Metropolis ▪ and go into a by-corner in Wilt-shire ▪ in which time of his Abode there , ● kind of Treason broke forth ; but wha● it was , as no Man then could tell , so ▪ it is left with so dark a Comment ▪ that Posterity will never understand the Text , or remember any such Treason : This pretended Plot consisted of Protestants , Puritans , Papists ▪ and Atheists ; a strange medly , you will say , to meet in one and the same Treason , and keep Counsel , which surely they did , because they knew not of any : The Protestants were , the Lord Cobham , and George Brook his Brother ; the one very Learned and Wise , the other a most silly Lord : The Puritan , the Lord Grey of Walton , a very hopeful Gentleman : The Papists , Watson and Clark , Priests ; and Parham , a Gentleman : The Atheist , Sir W. Rawleigh , then generally so believed , though after brought by Affliction ( the best School-Mistress ) to be ( and so Died ) a most Religious Gentleman . This Sham-Plot was chiefly designed by Salisbury , in which he has a double benefit ; first , in riding himself of such as he feared would have been Thorns in his sides ; secondly , by endearing himself to the King , by shewing his diligence and vigilancy for his Safety . They were all Araigned of Treason at Winchester ; whither the King sent some secretly to observe all Passages ; upon whose true and faithful Relations of the Innocency of the Persons Arraigned , and slight proof upon which they were Condemned , he would not be drawn to Sign any Warrant for the Execution of Rawleigh , Cobham , and Grey : For Rawleigh's defence , it was so brave and just , as ( had he not wilfully Cast himself , out of very weariness , as unwilling to detain the Company any longer ) no Jury could ever have Cast him . Yet Sir W. Rawleigh was Executed many years after for the same Treason , as much against all Justice , as beyond all Reason and Precedent . Yea , after he had been a General by the Kings Commission , and had , by that , Power of the Lives of many others , utterly against the Civil Law , which saith , He that hath Power of the Lives of others , ought to be Master of his Own. But the Spaniard was so Powerful at that time at Court , as that Faction could command the Life of any Man , that might prove dangerous to their Designs : His Death was by him managed with so High , Generous , and Religious a Resolution , as if a Roman had acted a Christian , or rather a Christian a Roman . During his Imprisonment , he was Delivered of that Minerva , The History of the World. Now did the great Mannagers of the State ( of which Salisbury was Chief , ) after they had Packed the Cards , begin to deal the Government of the Kingdom among themselves ; yet , for all their setting their Cards , and playing their Games to their own advantages , there was one Knave in the Pack would couzen their designs , and Trump in their way , if he might not share with them in their winning ; and that was one Lake , a Clerk of the Signet , afterwards made Secretary , and after that turned out in disgrace ▪ This Lake was a fellow of mean Birth , and meaner Breeding , being an under Servant to make Fires in Secretary Walsingham's Chamber ; and there got some experience ; which afterwards , in this King's Time , made him appear an able Man , which in Q. Eliz. Time , when there was none in Court but Men of Eminency , made him an inconsiderable Fellow : This Lake had linked himself with the Scotch Nation , helping them ( per fas aut nefas ) to fill their Purses , &c. For his good Service of abusing his Country and Countrymen , he was made Clerk of the Signet , to wait on the King in his Hunting Journies ; and in these Journies got all the Bills Signed , even for the greatest Lords , ( all Packets being addressed to him , ) so that Salisbury , and Northampton , and the greatest Lords , made Court to him : By this means did he raise himself from a mean , to a great Fortune ; but much over-awed by his Wife , which after proved his overthrow ; besides , he would tell Tales , and let the King know the passages at Court , and great Men ; as who was Salisbury's Mistress , and who governed all ; who governed Northampton ; and discovered the Bawdery , which did infinitely please the King's Humour ; and in truth , had so much Craft , as he served his turn upon all , but was Ingrossed by none , but by the Bed-Chamber ; who stuck so close to him , that they could not yet remove him . And now do the English Faction ( seeing they could not sever the Scots from him ) endeavour to raise a Mutiny against the Scots that were his Supporters ; their Agents divulging every where , The Scots would get all , and would Beggar the Kingdom : The Scots , on the other side complain to the King , they were so poor they under-went the by-word of Beggarly-Scots : To which the King returned this Answer , Content your selves , I will shortly make the English as Beggarly as you , and so ended that Controversie : This is as true , as he truly performed it ; for however he enriched many , in particular , as Salisbury , Suffolk , Northampton , Worcester , Lake , &c. yet he did beggar Himself , and the Nation in general . But they that lived at Court , and were curious Observers of every Mans Actions , could have then affirmed , That Salisbury , Suffolk , and Northampton , and their Friends , did get more than the whole Nation of Scotland , ( Dunbar excepted ; ) for what-ever others got , they spent here , only Dunbar laid a Foundation of a great Family . To take off the Subjects Eyes from observing the Indulgency used by K. James , in behalf of the Papists ( whom , though he had no cause to Love , he thought he found reason enough to Fear ) a Quarrel was revived ( now almost asleep , because it had long escaped Persecution , the Bellows of Schisme ) with a People stiled Puritans , who meeting no nearer a definition than the Name , all the conscientious Men in the Nation shared the Contempt ; neither was any charged with it , though in the best relation thought competent for Preserment in Church or State ; which made the Bad glory in their Impiety : Court-Sermons were fraught with bitter Invectives against these People , whom they seated in a Class far nearer the Confines of Hell , than Papists : And to avoid the very Imputation of Puritanism ( a greater rub in the way of Preferment than Vice ) our Divines , for the generality , did Sacrifice more time to Bacchus , than Minerva ; and for their ordinary Studies , they were School Points and Passionate Expressions , as more conversant with the F — than the Fathers ; scoffing in their ordinary Discourse at Luther and Calvin , but especially at the last ; so as a certain Bishop thank'd God he never ( though a good Poet himself ) had read a Line in him or Chaucer . The same used this simile at Court , That our Religion , like the Kings-Arms , stood between Two Beasts , the Puritans and Papists . Nor did the Extravagancy of many of the Episcopal Clergy add a little to the Rent , much augmented by the Scotish Propensity to Presbytery ; nor did the often and sudden Translation of Bishops , from less to greater Sees , give time to visit sufficiently their respective Charges ; being more intent upon the Receipt of such Taxes , as a long abused custom had estated them in , than upon Reformation . The Court-Sermons informing His Majesty , He might , as Christ's Vicegerent , command all ; and that the People , if they denied him Supplement , or enquired after the disposure of it , were Presumptuous Peepers into the Sacred Ark of the State ; not to be done , but under the severest Curse , though it appeared likely to fall , thro' the falshood or folly of those at the Helm : But on the contrary , other qualified Preachers did fulminate against Non-Residency , Profanation of the Lords-Day , Connivance at Popery , Persecution of God's People , &c. Now , by this time , the Nation grew Feeble , and over-opprest with Impositions , Monopolies , Aids , Privy-Seals , Concealments , Pretermitted Customs , &c. besides all Forfeitures upon Penal Statutes , with a multitude of more Tricks , to cheat the Subject ( the most , if not all , unheard of in Q. Elizabeth's days ) all spent on Favorites , and other Fooleries : True it is , all Kings cast-away Money the Day of their Enthronement , but King James did it all his Life . In this place my Memory presents me with Sir Robert Cecil , after Earl of Salisbury , famed for a grand Seducer of the King , by perswading him , This Nation was so Rich , it could neither be Exhausted , nor Provoked ; a Saying generally laid to his Charge , yet contradicted in this Practice of his ; for the Earl of Somerset , being in the flower of his Favour , had got a peremptory Warrant to the Treasurer for 20000 l. who , in this his Executive Prudence , finding that not only the Exchecquer , but the Indies themselves , would in time want Fluency to feed so immense a Prodigality ; and not without reason , apprehending the King as Ignorant in the value of what was demanded , as the desert of the Person that begged it ; and knowing a Pound , upon the Scotch Account ▪ would not pay for the Shooing of an Horse , he layed the fore-mentioned Sum upon the ground , in a Room through which the King was to pass ; who , amazed at the quantity , asked the Treasurer , whose Money it was ▪ who answered , Yours , before your Majesty gave it away ; whereupon the King fell into a Passion , protesting he was abused , and never intended any such Gift ; and casting himself upon the heap , scrabled out the quantity o● Two or Three Hundred Pounds , an● ●wore he should have no more . The palpable Partiality that descended from the Father to the Scots , did estate the whole Love of the English on his Son Henry , whom they engaged by so much Expectation , as it may be doubted , whether it ever lay ●n the Power of any Prince , meerly Human , to bring so much Felicity in●o a Nation , as they did all his Life promise to themselves at the Death of King James : The Government of the Princes House was with much Discre●ion , Modesty , Sobriety , and ( which was looked upon as too great an up●raiding , the contrary Proceedings of his Father ) in an high reverence to Piety , not Swearing himself , or keeping any that did ; through ▪ which , he came to be advanced , beyond an ordinary measure , in the Affections of the City ; to whom he was not only Plau●ible in his Carriage , but Just in Payments , so far , as his Credit out-reached ●he Kings , both in the Exchange , and the Church ; in which the Son could not take so much Felicity , as the Father did Discontent , to find all the Worth he imagined in himself wholly lost in the hopes the People had of this Young Gentleman : From whence Kings may be concluded far more unhappy than ordinary Men ; for , tho' whil'st Children are Young , they may afford them safety , yet , when arrived at that Age , which useth to bring Comfort to other Parents , they produce only Jealousies and Fears . And , if common Fame did not outstrip Truth , King James was by Fear led into great Extreams , ( finding his Son Henry not only averse to any Popish Match , but saluted by the Puritans , as one prefigured in the Apocalyps , for Rome's Destruction ) insinuating , as if the Prince was not kindly dealt withal at his Death ; but it is so common with Report to rate the Sickness or Death of Princes , at the price of Poyson ; as I should quite have omitted this conjecture , or left it wholly to the decision of the great Tribunal , was it not certain , that his Father did dread him , and that the King , though he would not deny him any thing he plainly desired , yet , it appeared rather the result of Fear and outward Complyance , than Love and Natural Affection , being harder drawn to confer an Honour or Pardon , in cases of Desert , upon a Retainer to the Prince , than a Stranger : From whence might be calculated a Malignity conceived in his Heart against the Splendor of his Sons Retinue . One day he was called to a remarkable Observation of his Sons Grandeur , by Archee his Jester , on the Plains about New-Market , when He and the Prince parted , few being left with the Father , and those mean Persons , which drew Tears from him . One Reason King James was so poorly followed , especially in his Journies , was his Partiality used towards the Scots ; which hung like Horse-leeches on him , till they could get no more , falling then off , by retiring into their own Country , or living at ease , leaving all chargable attendance to the English : The Harvest of the Love and Honour he reaped , being suitable to the ill Husbandry he used in the unadvised distribution of his Favours ; for of a number of empty Vessels , he filled to compleat the measure of our Infelicity , unless such as by reason of their vast runnings out , had need daily of a new supply ; and amongst these , the Earl of Carlisle was one of the Quorum , that brought in the vanity of Anti-Suppers , not heard of in our Fore-Fathers time ; and for ought I have read , or at least remember , unpractised by the luxurious Tyrants . The manner of which was , to have the Board covered at the first enterance of the Guests , with Dishes as high as a tall Man could well reach , filled with the choicest and dearest Viands Sea or Land could afford ; and all this once seen , and having feasted the Eyes of the Invited , was in a manner thrown away , and fresh set on to the same height ; having only this advantage of the other , that it was hot . I cannot forget one of the Attendance of the King , that at a Feast made by this Monster in Excess , eat to his single share a whole Pye , reckoned to my Lord at Ten Pounds , being composed of Ambergrease , Magesterial of Pearl , Musk , &c. And after such Suppers , huge Banquets no less profuse , a Waiter returning his Servant home with a Cloak-Bag full of dried Sweat-Meats and Confects , valued to his Lordship at more than Ten Shillings the Pound . This Lord lay always under the comfortable Aspect of King James's favour , though he was never found in his Bosome , a place reserved for younger Men , and of more endearing Countenances , and these went under the appellation of his Favourites or Minions ; who , like Burning-Glasses , were daily interposed between Him and the Subject , multiplying the heat of Oppressions in the general opinion , tho , in his own , he thought they screened them from reflecting on the Crown . Now , as no other reason appeared in his choice but handsomness ; so the love the King shewed , was as amorously conveyed , as if he had mistaken their Sex , and thought them Ladies ; which Somerset and Buckingham did labour to resemble in the Effeminateness of their Dressings ; though in W — ▪ looks , and wanton gestures , they exceeded any part of Woman-kind . Nor was his Love , or what else the World will please to call it , carried on with a discretion sufficient to cover a less scandalous Behaviour ; for the King kissing them after so lascivious a Mode in Publick , and upon the Theatre ( as it were ) of the World , prompted many to imagine things done in the Tiring-House , that exceed my Expressions , no less than they do my Experience , and therefore left floating upon the Waves of Conjecture , which hath tossed them from one side to another . It 's generally said , That the Earl of Holland , and some others , refused his Majesties favour upon those conditions They subscribed to , who filled that place in his Affections : Holland losing that opportunity his curious Face and complexion afforded him , by turning aside , and spitting after the King had slab●●red his Mouth ; who , though numbred among the Gods upon Earth , yet any that will be so inquisitive , as to ●ake in his Dust , may find as many ●railties as ever Man stood charged with , of which this was none of the ●east , doubling the weight of his Oppression ; for the setting up of these Golden Calves , cost England more than Queen Elizabeth spent in all her Wars . Nor will the Story of the Lord Treasurer Buckhurst fall in improperly here ; who , being a very corrupt Man ▪ or much abused , did lay claim to some part of the Kentish Lucy's Lands , tha● lay contiguous to his own ; and mistrusting the Integrity of any other , o● more legal Tryal , did , by the highnes● of his Hand , bring it to the Council● Table , ( where , about that time , many Causes were shamefully carried , an● from whence the most excellent Chancellor for parts , that ever sate in tha● Court , might derive the most Capita● of his faults , ) and after some Debat● the Treasurer standing up , and offering to pull out of his Bosome , Paper● that were pretended for their Lordships full and final satisfaction , he fe● down Dead , as called to Answer at ● Higher Tribunal . Neither has any since ever questioned Lucy's Land , i● the quiet Possession ▪ of which , he wa● thus miraculously Estated . The Treasurer was much given to Bribery an● Women , in the general Opinion , afte● whom these Verses were sent ; it bein● the fashion of the Poets in those days , to sum up great Mens Virtues or Vices on their Graves : These , with many more to a like sense belonged to this Gentleman . Discourteous Death , that would'st not once confer , Or daign to Parley with our Treasurer ; Had he been Thee , or of thy fatal Tribe , He would have spar'd a Life to gain a Bribe . Another . Here lies a Lord , that Wenching thought no Sin , And bought his Flesh , by selling of our Skin ; His Name was Sackvile ; and so void of Pity , As he did Rob the Country with the City . The Match King James made between ▪ Elizabeth his Eldest Daughter , and the Elector of the Rhyne , contrary to the grain of many , and the particular desires of her Mother ; who looked upon it so much below her , as she could not refrain to call her Good Wife Palsgrave , before she had put off her Wedding Shoes . Now , whether it was hope or fear , according to the Opinion of the Catholicks and Polititians , or a supine carelesness and desire to be rid of her with the least Expence , as all the Ladies Friends suggested , or pure Zeal to Religion , as some simple people thought , or , what was most probable , a Composition of all the three first mentioned Passions , induced the King to accept of such mean Conditions , I leave the Reader to Judge ; and only observe , that although in Relation to Person and Vertue , she might deservedly hold a Room in the greatest Princes Bed in Europe ; yet God was not pleased to afford her any outward Blessing , but a multitude of Children , of which the Eldest was unfortunately Drowned , not withou● some reproach to the Father , and a diminution of the rest in the opinion of the People ; that do , though not seldom without a cause , over-value any thing irrecoverably lost ; and at last cast her into an Ocean of Calamities , in which she remained a floating Example to other Princes of the instability of Fortune ; as she did in Prosperity , for Civility and Goodness . And though none need seek for Reasons , why Judgments should fall upon the Children of Princes , yet her Behaviour was throughout so blameless , as amongst the worst Reports the Papists could raise , nothing appear'd to prove her so great an Actor in Ill , as she was ●ound a Patient in Misery ; which makes me in Charity think it came rather by Descent , than Purchase . It was the Opinion of those Times , that the Elector might have sped better , had he not Matched with England ; whose King was so timerous , as he ●uffered all to Perish for want of seasonable supply , that relied upon his Power ; for had his Consort been of weaker Alliance , he had refused the Crown of Bohemia , when it was offered , or upon acceptance , been more Cordially assisted by his fellow Princes , already wearied by the Emperours Oppressions , no less than terrified by an expectation of worse . It was generally thought , and that not without good reason , That Prince Henry gave the first incouragement to the Prince Elector to attempt his Sister , desiring more to Head an Army in Germany , than he durst make shew of , and would no doubt have been bravely followed . That his thoughts flew high , hundreds of his Servants could witness , together with the Love he seemed to bear his Sister , before his Brother Charles ; whom he would often Taunt till he made him Weep , telling him , He should be ● Bishop , a Gown being fittest to hide hi● Legs , subject in his Childhood to be Crooked : Nor did all this put together , lengthen his Life in the desires of many . Besides , Sir Walter Rawleigh did mediate his Favour , by a Discourse he sent him , proving no War could be so necessary or advantageous for England , as one with Spain ; alledging many Reasons and Examples , as well out of the Practice of Queen Elizabeth , as his own Experience ; no Prince else then , being able to pay for , or bear the Expence of a Royal Navy , which once in a Year he would without question accomplish by our intercepting some or most of the Plate-Fleet , all Nations besides ( at that time ) being but Sea-Pedlars : Wherefore , if Philip the Second cut off his own hopeful and only Son Charles , for but pittying the People of Flanders ; it can be no wonder , He should promote the destruction of a Stranger , that did so far applaud the advice of Rawleigh , as to say , No King but his Father , would keep such a Bird in a Cage . But , to leave this to the Faith of Posterity , the Actions of Kings being written in such dark Characters , and relating to so many several ends , as they are not easily deciphered , I shall return to the German Affairs ; towards which , had England contributed proportionably to the Head of a Union , it may be presumed ( from the King of Sweeden's Success , who had at the begining no such advantages to rely on ) that the Eclipsing , if not the Ruine of the House of Austria , had not been adjourned to so long a day . And he that shall turn over the Adviso's of those Times , may ( without danger , or much trouble ) find what Opinion the Germans had of Us , and in how great a dismay it cast their Proceedings , when the smallness of the Lord Vere's Forces were known ; but when they read a Commission ( only enabling him to do nothing , ) they apprehended themselves , some out of Malice Betrayed ; others , that knew the temper of King James better , were so Charitable , as to impute it to the true Cause , which was his Fear ; upon whose Altar he was not only ready to Sacrifice his present Honour and future Safety , but the Blood of those he stiles , in all his Manifesto's , His dearest Children . For after his Daughter , and the Elector , were Crowned King and Queen of Bohemia , they lost , together with this Shadow , all her Substance , and what he was , for so many Descents , Born to ; the Palatinate at the Battle of Prague , ( where few blows were dealt on the Electors side ) reported to be so Mad , as to think the Souldier would venture his Life in a Cause , where he to whom it most concerned was afraid to venture his Money . It being then too late to spare , when Honour and Fortune lay at the Stake : By which this miserable Prince did not only lose what he might possibly have gained , but most of the Wealth he desired to save . The Earl of Portland , Lord Treasurer , was sent by King James ( when they looked for an Army ) to Mediate a Peace : By whose help ( though a Roman Catholick ) the Elector and his Lady found means , though with much difficulty , to Escape to the Hague with their new assumed empty Titles , having nothing else to support them but Patience and Hope , the only and ordinary Comfort of those deprived of all help besides : yet it was gerally reported by the Roman Catholicks , That Portland was too far engaged to their Party , to be the Author of so ungrateful a Service : But this being his first Employment , no less than a desire in the Pope to see the Power of the Emperour moderated , ( who began to Incroach upon the pretended Immunities of the Church ) he might probably take this advantage , to render his Embassy the more acceptable , upon his return , to the People of England , if not to the King : Persons of their Quality falling seldom by the Sword ; and therefore thought perhaps better Thrift , to maintain them at Liberty , than in Restraint , or Redeem them at such a Ransom as a Victorious Prince might Impose ; to the Payment of which , his Majesty was engaged in Honour and Nature . However , I am more charitable than to conclude all Papists imployed by this King , so dishonest as to falsi●ie their Trust ; for if that followed as a necessary consequence , God help this poor Nation , that had before then , and long after , few Commissioned in any affair of Importance , but such as were that way affected , or wholly indifferent . It being the intent of Providence to use his help , it may be , as he did of Pharoah's Daughter , to preserve this Vertuous Lady out of danger , whose Misfortunes kindled such a Fire in Germany , as ( before it was extinguished ) lick'd up the choicest Blood in the Austrian Family ; some one or other prosecuting the like Attempt , amongst whom was Count Mansfield , that had little else than his own Fortune and Valour to carry him so far as he went ; but what he punctually did , or promised to do , was at too great a distance to be certainly known , more than could be Learned from the Eccho it made at Court , which sounded diversly , according to the Inclinations and hollowness of their Hearts that made the Reverberation . This is certain , That Mansfield was in appearance well received at Court ; but how King James could like a Man that laboured to bring in so Anti-Monarchial a Precedent , as to struggle for Liberty with his Native Prince , I cannot but question , who himself daily inculcate into the People , through the Mediation of his Divines , and by the Terror of his Laws , That no other Refuge was left in any saving Experiment , during the unjustest and most cruel Tyranny , but Prayers and Tears ; a Tenet , if he had believed himself , or thought such as owned either Prudence or Power did , he would doubtless have Governed much better , or ( if possible ) abused the Nation , and debauched his Succession much worse . Yet to give a countenance to a Business he had so shamefully disparaged before , he sent for the Count over in one of his Royal Ships , which was cast away upon the English Coast ; an Example , almost as remote from a Precedent , as for a Mighty Prince to be a quiet Spectator of the Ruine of his Family . Such as were of the Spanish Faction spoke most disgracefully of Count Mansfield , for getting the lower footing they assigned for his Rise , they admirably Proclaimed his dexterity in Mounting himself so High ; who , at his going from hence , was furnished with Men and Money , the most of them lost before their Landing : Such Proceedings being much in use with King James ; who , like a ready Horse , did often seem to the World , as if he meant to run , yet did little more in effect than stand still . And here we shall give a brief Account of the Poysoning business of Sir T. Overbury ; on which account King James made so many dreadful Imprecations against himself and Posterity , on his Knees , and in the presence of his Judges , If he should spare any that were found Guilty in that affair ; but how he failed , the ensuing Relation will inform . Montgomery being in the Wain of his Favour , as given more to his own Pleasures , than to observe the King : Then was a young Gentleman Mr. R. Carr , one that was very handsome and well bred , who , by the Interest of the Scots , had a Grooms place of the Bed-Chamber ; he did more than any other , associate himself with Sir Thomas Overbury , a Man of excellent parts , but those made him Proud and Insolent . Now was Carr Knighted , and made Gentleman of the Bed-Chamber , and Overburies Pride rose with the others Honours ; then was the strife between Salisbury and Suffolk , who should ingross this great Favourite Pythias Overbury , and make him their Monopoly ; each presenting , proffering , and accumulating favours on Overbury's Kindred ; the Father made a Judge in Wales , and himself offered an Office ; but being naturally of an insolent Temper , which was elevated by being so intimate with a Favourite , and wholly having ingrossed that Commodity , which could not be retailed but by him and his Creatures , with a kind of Scorn , neglected their Friendships , yet made use of both . Northampton finding himself neglected by so mean a fellow , ( as he thought ) cast about another way , and followed Balaam's Counsel , by sending a Moabitish Woman unto him , in which he made use of one Coppinger , a Gentleman , who had spent a fair Fortune left him by his Ancestors ; and now , for Maintenance , was forced to lead the life of a Serving-man , ( that formerly kept many to serve him , ) and as an addition , the worst of that kind , a slat Bawd. This Gentleman had lived a scandalous Life , by keeping a Whore of his own , therefore was fittest to trade in that commodity for another ; and in truth , was fit to take any Impression , Baseness could stamp on him , as the sequel of this Story will manifest : This Moabitish Woman was a Daughter of the Earl of Suffolks , Married to a young Noble Gentleman , the Earl of Essex . This Train took , and the first private meeting was at Coppingers House , and himself Bawd to their Lust , which put him into a far greater Bravery for a time , than when he was Master of his own ; but it had bitterness on all hands in the end : This Privacy in their stollen Pleasures , made Coppinger a Friend to Northampton and Suffolk , though but a Servant to Viscount Rochester , ( for so was our new Favorite Carr made ; ) and now had they linked him so close , as no breaking from them . Overbury was that Iohn Baptist that reproved the Lord , for the Sin of using the Lady , and abusing the young Earl of Essex ; he would call her Strumpet , her Mother and Brother Bawds ; and used them with so much Scorn , as in truth was not to be endured by one of his Rank , to persons of that Quality , how faulty soever otherwise they were . Then to satisfie Overbury , and blot out the name of Sin , his Love led him into a more desperate way , by a resolution to Marry another Mans Wife ; against this then did Overbury Bellow louder , and in it shewed himself more like an affectionate , than a discreet and moderate Friend ; had he compounded one dram of Discretion , with an ▪ ounce of Affection , he might with such a Receipt have preserved his own Life , and their Fortunes and Honors . For those that infinitely hated that Family , did as infinitely condemn his Insolent carriage and behaviour towards them ; so that had any of those Brothers or Name killed Overbury , either by picking a Quarrel with him , or Pistolling him , or any other desperate way , or bravely in a Duel , upon some other ground of a Quarrel , than blemishing their Sister , the World would have justified the Action , however he had stood with God ; but Buchanan's Character of that Family , barrs all expectation of so much bravery of Spirit ; but a Council must be held to put him to Death by some Baser means . The Plot then must be , he must be sent a Leidger Ambassador into France ; which , by Obeying , they should be rid of so great an Eye-sore ; by Disobeying , he incurred the displeasure of his Prince , a Contempt that he could not expect less than Imprisonment for , and by that Means be Sequestred from his Friends . And thus far I do believe the Earl of Somerset , ( for so was he now made ) was consenting ; this Stratagem took , and Overbury might truly say , ( Video meliora , deteriora sequar , ) for he indeed made the worst choice ; it could not be thought , but such an Imployment was far above his Desert , and much better for him to have accepted , than to be confined to a loathsome Prison ; and for want of Judgment , had his Sufferings been less than loss of Life , he had not been worthy of Pity ; but , Jupiter quos vult perdere hos dementat ; he would go to the Tower , from whence he never returned , rather than accept of an honourable Imployment ; from whence he might not only have returned , but done his Friends acceptable Service , either in Private , or in Publick . In his mannaging of this Business , ( that Wisdom which formerly he had been esteemed for ) suffered under the censure of Wise Men , as well as Fools . Having him now fast in Prison , Herodias by pleasing her Herod , must also ask , and have his Life ; for , Per scelus ad scelera , tutior est via ; to that end , they prefered Emposides , to be Servant to Sir Gervas Elwayes then Lieutenant of the Tower : This Gentleman was ever held Wise and Honest , but Unfortunate , in having that place thrust upon him without his thought ; he was also so Religious , that few in the Court did equal him ; so Wise , as he obtained the Character of Wise Sir Gervas Elwayes ; yet , neither could his Wisdom , nor the opinion of his Religion and Honesty , prevent that Fate ; he was so ignorant of the Plot , as he never Dreamt of any such matter , until one day ( as it should seem ) Weston being told , Elwayes did know wherefore he was preferred unto him to wait on Overbury ; he asked the Lieutenant , whether he should now do it , Elwayes asked him what ? Weston at that being somewhat abashed , which Elwayes quickly apprehended , replied , No , not yet ; for he did believe there was something known to Weston ; instantly he hasted away , ( being a little before Dinner ) and went into his Study , and sent for Weston to come unto him , examining him the meaning of that question ; at last , between sair means and threatning , perswaded him to confess the Truth ; then Elwayes , as he well could , ●aid before Weston the horridness of the Fact , the torments of Hell , and the uncertainty of his momentary enjoying of either Reward or Favour , after the Fact done , but that it must necessarily follow , so many Personages of Honour , would never Cabinet such a Secret in their Breast , that might ruin them ; at last , made him so sensible of his Danger in this life , and more sensible of Torments in the other , that Weston falling on his knees , said , O Lord ! how good and gracious art Thou , and thy Mercy is above all thy Works ; for this day is Salvation come to my Soul , and I would not for all the World have had such a Sin upon me . He gave the Lieutenant humble thanks , for that he had been Instrumental in saving his Soul , by putting him off from so foul Intentions : The Lieutenant having thus renewed Grace in him , by making him ( as he thought ) a new Man ; said thus to him , You and I have a dangerous part to Act ; but if you will be true and honest to me , I doubt not ( with Gods help ) but we shall perform it well , both before God and the World : Weston faithfully promised him , and for a long , time as faithfully performed with him . The Lieutenant willed him , to bring all such things as was sent to give Overbury unto him , which he accordingly did ; the Lieutenant ever gave them to Dogs and Cats , which he had always ready in his Study for that purpose ; some died presently , others lay lingering a longer time ; all which , with the Jellies and Tarts sent to Overbury , he cast into his Privy , they staining the very Dishes . This continued long , the Earl ever sending to visit Overbury , assuring him he did not forget his Release , which would not be long deferred ; wherein most Men did verily believe , he did mean both Nobly and Truly , though others conjectured his meaning was a Dissolution : At last , the Countess sent for Weston , Reviling him , and calling him Treacherous Villain ; for had he given those things sent , Overbury had not been now alive , vowing she would be revenged on him ; upon the very fear whereof , he after gave those Poysons sent him , without acquainting the Lieutenant ; yet , for all this schooling of Weston , and his assurance given of his future Fidelity to the Countess , she would not trust him any more , but put another Co-adjutor to him , one Franklin , a greater Villain than Weston ; and truly they may be deemed very ill , that could seek out such Instruments . These two Villains came into Overbury's Chamber , and found him in infinite Torment , with contention between Strength of Nature , and the working of the Poyson ; and it being very like , Nature had got the better of it in that contention , by the thrusting out of Boyls , Botches , and Blains , they fearing it might come to light , upon the judgment of Physicians , that foul Play had been offered him , consented to stifle him with the Bed-cloaths , which accordingly was performed , and so ended his miserable Life with the assurance of the Conspirators , that he Died by Poyson ; none thinking otherwise but these two Murtherers . Now was all , as they believed , quiet , and in the depth of security , and the Earl and Countess began to ●arry their Loves more openly and ●mpudently ; so that the World did ●alk very loudly and broadly of this Adulterous Meeting ; it must from ●hat ground proceed to an Adulterous Marriage ; as well to the wronging of a Young Noble-man , as to the dishonour and shame of themselves ; But ●hey must needs go , whom the Devil drives ; yet know not how handsomly ●o effect this , but by making the King ● Party in this Bawdy business , which ●as no hard matter to effect ; for the King's Eye began to wander after a ●ew Favorite , being satiated with the old ; therefore , for the bringing this Bawdery to a Marriage , the Bishops must be principal Actors , and the Bishop of Winchester , an excellent Civilian , and a very great Schollar , must ●e the Principal ; for which his Son was Knighted , and did never lose that Title of Sir Nullity Bilson . For by a Nullity of the first Marriage , must this second take place ▪ many Meetings of the Bishops , and the prime Civilians , in which there wanted no Bribes from the Lord and Lady , and their Friends , to have this Nullity brought to pass , wherein the Discourse would have better befitte● the Mouths of Bawds and Ruffians than the Grave Divines ; among them Bishop Neal , Bishop of Rochester , ● Creature and Favorite of the Hous● of Suffolk , took up a Learned Discours● in the Science of Bawdry , how many degrees in that Science must produc● a Nullity ; wherein were so many Beastly Expressions , as for Modesty sake I will not recite them , being o● fensive to my very Thoughts and Memory : Aristotle's Problems was a Modest Discourse to his ; and he appeare● to be better Studied in that , than i● Divinity ; and to wind up this Learned Discourse , concluded , That a● those met in this Lord and Lady . The Arch - Bishop of Canterbury , Abbot , to his everlasting Fame , mainly opposed all the Proceedings , and protested against them ; for which he ever after lived in Disgrace , excluded from the Council-Table , and Died in disrespect of the King on Earth , tho' in favour of the King of Kings . Yet , forsooth , to make up the full measure of Bawdery , and to justifie Neal's Discourse , That all things in the former Marriage conduced to be a Nullity ; a search must be made , to find whether there had been a Penetration , and a Jury of Grave Matrons were found fit for that purpose ; who , with their Spectacles ground to lessen , not to make the Letter larger , after their Inspection , gave Verdict , She was , intacta Virgo , which was thought very strange ; for the World took notice that her way was very near beaten so plain , as if Regia Via ; and , in truth , was a common way , before Somerset did ever Travel that way ; besides , the World took notice , they Two had long lived together in Adultery ; yet had Old Kettle a trick for that also . The Lady of Essex , for Modesty sake , makes humble Suit to the Bawdy Bishops , ( who were also Plotters in this Stratagem ▪ ) that she might not appear Bare-fac'd , for Blushing ; but desired to come Vailed , with a Taffety over her Face ; this ▪ by all means , was thought so reasonable for a pretty Modest Lady , that the Bawdy Bishops and Pur-blind Ladies , which had forgotten Modesty themselves , could not think it worthy the denial : One Mrs. Fines , near Kinswoman to Old Kettle , was dressed up in the Countesses Cloaths , and that time too Young to be other than Virgo intacta ; though , in Two Years after , had the Old Ladies made their Inspection , the Orifice would not have appeared so small , to have delivered such a Verdict as they did and a just one upon their Views ; tho upon some of their Knowledges , it was not that Lady they were to give Verdict upon . Now is the Nullity pronounced , and the Marriage with Somerset speedily Solemnized ; for which they , and the whole Family of Suffolk , paid dear in after time , and had sowre Sauce to that sweet Meat , of their great Son-in-Law . And surely , he was the most unfortunate in that Marriage ; being as generally Beloved , as for himself and Disposition , as Hated afterwards for his linking himself in that Family : For in all the time of this Man's Favour , before this Marriage , he did nothing obnoxious to the State , or any base thing for his private gain ; but whether this was his own Nature that curbed him , or that there was then a Brave Prince living , and a Noble Queen that did awe him , we cannot so easily judge ; because , after this Marriage , and their Death , he did many ill things . Now began to appear a glimmering of a new Favorite , one Mr. George Villers , a younger Son , by a second Venter , of an Ancient Knight in Leicester-shire ; his Father of an Ancient Family ; his Mother of a Mean , and a Waiting-Gentlewoman ; whom the Old-Man fell in Love with , and Married ; by whom he had Three Sons ▪ all raised to the Nobility , by mean● of their Brother Favorite . This Gentleman was come but newly from Travel , and did believe it a great Fortune to Marry a Daughter of Sir Roger Aston's ; and , in truth , 't was the height of his Ambition ; and for that only end was a hanger upon the Court ▪ The Gentlewoman loved him so well ▪ as could all his Friends have made her● great Fortune but an hundred Mark● Joynter , she had Married him presently , in despight of all of them . But before the closing up of this Match , the King cast a glancing Ey● towards him ; which was easily observed , by such as minded their Princes Humor , and then the Match was ●aid aside ; some assuring him a greater Fortune was coming unto him : Then one gave him his place of Cup●earer , that he might be in the King's Eye ; another sent to his Mercer and Taylor , to put good Cloaths on him ; a third to his Sempster , for curious Linnen ; and all as In-comes , to obtain Offices on his future rise : Then others took upon them to be his Bravo's , to undertake his Quarrels , upon Affronts put upon him by Somerset's Faction ; so all hands helped to the piecing up this new Favorite . Then began the King to Eat abroad , who formerly used to Eat in his Bed-Chamber ; or , if by chance , Supped in his Bed - Chamber , would come forth to see Pastimes and Fooleries ; in which Sir Edward Souch , Sir George Goring , and Sir J. Finet , were the chief , and Master Fools : and surely , this Fooling got them more than any others Wisdom , far above them in Desert : Souch's part was to Sing Bawdy Songs , and to tell Bawdy Tales : Finet to compose these Songs : The● were a Sett of Fidlers , brought up on purpose for this Fooling : And Goring was Master of the Game for Fooleries ; sometimes presenting David Droman ; and Archee Armstrong the King's Fool , on the back of the other Fools , to Tilt at one another , till they fell together by the Ears ; sometimes Antick Dances ; but Sir John Millisent , who was never known before , was commended for a notable Fool ; With this Jollity was this new Favorite ushered in . This made the House of Suffolk fret ; and Somerset carried himself more proudly ; and his Bravado's ever quarrelling with the others ; which , by his Office of Lord-Chamberlain , for a while carried it ; but Somerset using of Sir Ralph Wynwoo● ( whom himself brought in for Secretary of State ) in so scornful a manner ( he having only the Title , the Earl himself keeping the Seals , and doing the Business ) made Wynwood endeavor to ruine him ; who soon got an opportunity , by frequenting the Countess of Shrewsburies , then Prisoner in the Tower ; who told Wynwood , on a time , That Overbury was Poysoned , which she understood from Sir Gervase Elwayes ; who did labour , by her means , to deal with her Two Sons-in-Law , Arundel and Pembroke , ( Winwood being also great with that ●action ) that when it came into question , he might save his own Stake ; who , truly , was no otherwise Guilty , but that he did not discover it at Weston's first disclosing it ( he being Keeper of the Prison ) so by In●erence , his not disclosing it , was Overbury's Death ; and had he revealed it then , he certainly had been brought into the Star-Chamber for it , and undone ( for it was not the Time fit for discovery . ) Winwood , it was thought , acquainted the King with it , knowing how willingly he would have been rid of Somerset ; yet the King durst not bring it in question ; nor any Doubt ever would have been , had not Somerset sought to cross him in his Passion of Love , to his new Favorite ; in which the King was more impatient , than any Woman to enjoy her Love. Not long after , Thrumbal , Agent at Bruxels , had ( by an Apothecaries Boy , one Reeve , after an Apothecary himself , in London , who lived sometime after ) gotten hold of this Poysoning business ; for Reeve having , under his Master , made some of these desperate Medicines , either run away , or else his Master sent him out of the way , and fell in Company with Thrumbal's Servants at Bruxels , to whom he revealed it ; and they to their Master , who Examining the Boy , discover'd the Truth : Thrumbal presently wrote to Secretary Wynwood , he had business of consequence to discover , but would not send it ; therefore desired License to come over . The King would not yield to his Return , but willed him to send an Express : That Thrumbal utterly refused , and very wisely , for letting any thing appear under his Hand , le●t the Boy should Die , or run away , and then himself made the Author of that , which the Courtesie of another must have justified . The King being of a longing Disposition , rather than he would not know , admitted Thrumbal's Return ; and now had they good Testimony , by the Apothecary , who revealed Weston , Mrs. Turner , and Franklin , to be the principal Agents ; yet this ( being now the time of Progress ) was not stired till about Michaelmas : But still Wynwood now carry himself in a kind of braving way of Contestation against Somerset , struck in with the Faction of Villers's : And now on Progress , the King went Westward ; where , at the several places as he came , he was highly Treated . After all his Feastings , homewards came the King , who desired , by all means , to reconcile this Clashing between his declining and rising Favorite ; to which end , at Lulworth , the King imployed Sir Humphry May , a great Servant to Somerset , and a wise Servant to Villers ; but with such Instructions , as if it came from himself ; and Villers had order , presently after Sir Humphry May's return , to present himself and Service to Somerset . My Lord , said he , Sir George Villers will come to you , to offer his Service , and desire to be your Creature ; and therefore refuse him not , Embrace him , and your Lordship shall still stand a great Man ; tho' not the sole Favorite . My Lord seemed averse : Sir Humphry then told him , in plain terms , That he was sent by the King to advise it ; and that Villers would come to him , to cast himself into his Protection ; to take his Rise , under the shaddow of his Wings . Sir Humphry May was not parted from my Lord half an hour , but in comes Sir George Villers , and used these very words : My Lord , I desire to be your Servant , and your Creature ; and shall desire to take my Court-Preferment under your Favour ; and your Lordship shall find me as faithful a Servant unto you , as ever did Serve you . My Lord returned this quick and short Answer ; I will none of your Service , nor you shall none of my Favour ; I will , if I can , break your Neck , and of that be confident . This was but a harsh Complement , and favoured more of Spirit , than Wisdom ; and since that time , breaking each others Necks was their aims : And it is verily believed , had Somerset complyed with Villers , Overbury's Death had still lain reaked up in his own Ashes ; but God , who will never suffer Murther to go unpunished , will have what He will , maugre all the Wisdom of the World. To Windsor doth the King return , to end his Progress ; from thence to Hampton-Court , then to White-Hall , and shortly after to Royston , to begin his Winter-Journey . And now begins the Game to be plaid , in which Somerset must be the Loser , the Cards being shuffled , cut and dealt , between the King and Sir Edward Coke Chief Justice , ( whose Daughter Purbeck Villers had Married , and therefore a fit Instrument to ruine Somerset ) and Secretary Wynwood : These all play'd the Stake , Somerset's Life and his Ladie 's , their Fortunes , and the Family of Suffolk ; some of them played Booty ; and in truth , the Game was not played above-board . The Day the King went from White-Hall to Theobalds , and so to Royston , He sent for all the Judges , ( his Lords and Servants encircling him ; ) where kneeling down in the midst , he used these Words : My Lords , the Judges , It is lately come to my hearing , that you have now in examination a business of Poysoning ; Lord ! in what a most miserable Condition shall this Kingdom be , ( the only famous Nation for Hospitality in the World , ) if our Tables should become such a Snare , as none could eat without danger of Life , and the Italian Custom should be introduced among us : Therefore , my Lords , I charge you , as you will answer it at the great and dreadful Day of Judgment , that you examine it strickly , without Favour , Affection , or Partiality ; and if you shall spare any guilty of this Crime , God's Curse light on you and your Posterity : And if I spare any that are found guilty , God's Curse light on Me , and my Posterity for ever . But how this dreadful Thunder-Curse or Imprecation was performed , shall be shewed hereafter . The King with this took his Farewel for a time of London , and was accompanied with Somerset to Royston , ( where no sooner he brought him ) but instantly took leave , little imagining what Viper lay amongst the Herbs : Nor must I forget to let you know , how perfect the King was in the Art of Dissimulation , or to give it his own Phrase , King-Craft . The Earl of Somerset never parted from him with more seeming Affection than at this time , when he knew Somerset should never see him more ▪ The Earl when he kissed his Hand ▪ the King hang'd about his Neck , flabbering his Cheeks ; saying , When shall I see you again ? On my Soul , I shall neither eat nor sleep until you● come again : The Earl told him on Monday , ( this being on the Friday ; ) For God's-sake let me , said the King , Shall I , shall I ? Then lolled about his Neck ; Then for God's-sake , give thy Lady this Kiss for me : In the same manner , at the Stairs-head , at the middle of the Stairs , and at the Stairs-foot ; the Earl was scarcely in his Coach , when the King used these very words ( in the hearing of four Servants , of whom one was Somerset's great Creature , and of the Bed-Chamber , who reported it afterwards to many about the Court , ) I shall never see his Face more . I appeal to the Reader , whether this Motto , of Qui nescit dissimulare , nescit regnare , was not as well performed in this Passage , as his Beati Pacifici , in the whole course of his Life ; and his Love to the latter , made him be beaten with his own Weapon in the other , by all Princes and States that had to do with him . But before Somerset's Approach to London , his Countess was apprehended ; at his Arrival , himself : And the King being that Night at Supper , said to Sir Thomas Morson , My Lord Chief Justice hath sent for you : He asked the King , when he should wait on him again ; who replyed , You may come when you can . And ( as in the Story ▪ of Byron , and many others , ) there have been many foolish Observations , as presage , so was there in this Gentleman , who was the King's Master ▪ Faulconer ; and in truth , for his extraordinary Dexterity and Skill , no Prince in Christendom ever had the like . So , that you see , the Plot was so well laid , as they could be all within the Toil at one instant , not knowing of each other . Now are in Hold the Earl , his Countess , Sir Thomas Monson , Mistress Turner , ( a very lewd and infamous Woman of life ) Weston and Franklin , with some others of less Note ; of which one Simon a Servant of Sir Thomas Monson's , who was employed in carrying Jelly and Tart to the Tower ; who upon his Examination ▪ for his pleasant Answer , was instantly dismissed . My Lord told him , Simon , you have had a hand in this Poysoning Business : No , my good Lord , I had but one Finger in it , which almost cost me my Life ; and , at the best , cost me all my Hair and Nails ; for the truth was , Simon was somewhat liquorish , and finding the Syrrup swim from the top of a Tart as he carried it , he did with his Finger skim it off ; and it was to be believed , had he known what it had been , he would not have been his Taster at so dear a Rate . And now poor Mrs. Turner , Weston and Franklin , began the Tragedy ; Mrs. Turner's Day of Mourning being better than the Day of her Birth ; for she died very penitently , and shewed much modesty in her last Act , which is to be hoped , was accepted of with God ; after that died Weston , then was Franklin Arraigned , who confessed that Overbury was smoothered to Death , not poysoned to Death , though he had Poyson given him . In the next place came the Countess to her Tryal , at whose Arraignment , as also at Mrs. Turner's before , were shewed many Pictures , poppe●● ▪ with some Exrocism and Magi●● Spells , which made them appear more odious , as being known to converse with Witches and Wizards . The next that came on the Stage was Sir Thomas Monson ; but the Night before he was to come to his Tryal , the King being at the Game of Maw , said , To Morrow comes Tom Monson to his Tryal : Yea , said the King's Card-holder , where , if he do not play his Masters Prize , your Majesty shall never trust me : This so run in the King's Mind , as the next Game , he said , He was sleepy ▪ and would play out that Set the next Night ; the Gentlemen departed to his Lodging , but was no sooner gone , but the King sent for him ; what Communication they had was not known ; but is most certain , next under God , that Gentleman saved his Life ; for the King sent a Post presently to London , to let the Lord Chief-Justice know , he would see Monson's Examination and Confession , to see if it were worthy to touch his Life , for so small a matter : Monson was too wise to set any thing but fair in his Confession ; what he would have stabbed with , should have been ( viva voce ) at his Arraignment . The King sent word , He saw nothing worthy of Death , or of Bonds , in his Accusation or Examination : And now for the last Act , enters Somerset himself on the Stage , who ( being told , as ●●e manner is , by the Lieutenant , That he must provide to go the next Day to his Tryal , ) did absolutely refuse it , and said , ' They should carry him in his ' Bed ; that the King had assured him , ' he should not come to any Tryal , ' neither durst the King bring him to ' any Tryal : This was in an high Strain , and in a Language not well understood by George Moore ( Lieutenant in Elwayes's room ; ) that made Moor quiver and shake ; and however , he was accounted a Wise Man , yet he was near at his Wits-end . Yet away goes Moor to Greenwich , as late as it was , ( being Twelve at Night ) bounceth at the Back-stairs , as if Mad ; to whom came J. Loveston , one of the Grooms , out of his Bed , enqui●es the reason of that Disturbance at so late a Season ; Moor tells him , He must speak with the King ; Loveston replies , He is quiet ( which , in the Scotish Dialect , is , Fast asleep , ) Moor says , You must awake him : Moor being called in , ( the Chamber left to the King and Moor ) he tells the King those Passages , and desires to be directed by the King , for he was gone beyond his own reason , to here such bold and undutiful Expressions from a faulty subject against his Soveraign . The King falls into a Passion of Tears ; On my Soul , Moor , I wot not what to do ; thou art a Wise-Man , help me in this great streight , and thou shalt find , thou dost it for a thankful Master , with other sad Expressions : Moor leaves the King in that Passion ; but assures him , he will try the utmost of his Wit to serve his Majesty ; and was really rewarded with 1500 l. Sir George Moor returns to Somerset , about Three the next Morning , of that day he was to come to his Tryal , enters Somerset's Chamber , tells him , He had been with the King , found him a most affectionate Master unto him , and full of Grace in his intentions towards him ; but ( said he ) to satisfie Justice , you must Appear , although return instantly again , without any further proceeding ; only you shall know your Enemies , and their Malice ; though they shall have no Power over you . With this trick of Wit , he allayed his Fury , and got him quietly , about Eight in the Morning , to the Hall ; yet feared his former bold Lauguage might revert again ; and being brought by this Trick into the Toyl , might have more enraged him to fly out into some strange Discovery ; he had Two Servants placed on each side of him ▪ with a Cloak on their Arms , giving them a peremptory Order , if that Somerset did any way fly out on the King , they should instantly Hoodwink him with that Cloak , and take him violently from the Bar , and carry him away ; for which he would secure them from any danger ; and they should not want also a bountiful Reward : But the Earl finding himself over-reached , recollected a better Temper , and went on calmly in his Tryal ; where he held the Company until Seven at Night : But whoever had seen the King's restless motion , all that Day , sending to every Boat he see Landing at the Bridge , Cursing all that came without Tydings , would have easily judged all was not right , and there had been some grounds for his Fears of Somerset's Boldness : But , at last , one brings him word , he was Condemned , and the Passages all was quiet . This is the very Relation , from Moor's own Mouth , told to several of undoubted Credit . And there were other strong inducements to believe Somerset knew , that ( by him ) he desired none other should be partaker of ; and that all was not Peace with him in the Peace-maker himself ; for he ever Courted Somerset to his Dying-day ; and gave him 4000l . per annum , for Fee Farm-Rents , after he was Condemned ; which he took in his Servants Names , not his own ( as then being Condemned , not capable of ) and he then resolved never to have Pardon . It is credibly reported , he was told by a Wizzard , That could he but come to see the King's Face again , he should be re-invested in his former dearness : This had been no hard Experiment ; but , belike , he had too much Religion to trust to Wizzards ; or else some Friends of his had trusted them , an● been deceived by them , that he had little reason to put confidence in them The King kept correspondence Weekly with him , by Letters , to his Dying-Day . And here we have brought this great Man to his End , with his Countess , Mrs. Turner , Weston , Franklin and Elways Died in the Tower ; and here Died this great Business : Weston ever saying , It never troubled him t● Die with so many Blue-Ribbons : And some , in those times , verily thought more would have Suffered , had it not been for an unhappy Expression of Sir Edward Cook , the Lord Chief Justice ; who , in a Vain-glorious Speech , to shew his vigilancy , enters into a Rapture , as he sate on the Bench , saying , God knows what became of that sweet Babe , Prince Henry ; but I know somewhat : and surely , in searching the Cabinets , he lighted on some Papers , that spoke plain , in that which was ever Whispered ; which , had he gone on in a gentle way , would have fal'n in of themselves , not to have been prevented ; but this folly of his Tongue stopt the Breath of the discovery of that so foul a Murther ; which , I fear , cries still for Vengeance . And now begins the new Favorite to Reign , without any controulment ; now he rises in Honour , as well as swells with Pride , being broken out of the modest bounds ( formerly had impailed him ) to the High-way of Pride and Scorn ; turning-out , and putting-in all he pleased : First , He gets the Lord-Admiral turned out , and himself made Lord High-Admiral : Next , He procured the Seal to be taken from Egerton , Lord-Keeper , and procures the Place for Bacon , gratis ; for he neither paid any thing , neither was he able : For now was there a new Trick to put in Dishonest and Necessitous Men , to serve such Turns , as Men of plentiful Fortunes , and fair Reputations would not accept of : And this filled the Church and Common-wealth full of beggarly Fellows , ( such daring to venture or any thing , having nothing to lose for it is Riches makes Men Cowards Poverty , Daring and Valiant , to adventure at any thing , to get something ; ) yet did not Buckingham d● things wholly for nothing ; but what their Purses could not stretch unto they paid in Pensions out of their Place ; all which went to maintain his numerous ▪ Beggarly Kindred ▪ Bacon , paid a Pension ; Heath , Attorney , paid a Pension ; Bargrave , Dean paid a Pension ; with multitudes o● others : Fotherby , made Bishop o● Salisbury , paid down 3500 l. for hi● Bishoprick . There were Books of Rates , on all Offices , Bishopricks Deaneries , in England , that could te●● you what Fines , what Pensions ; otherwise had it been impossible , such a numerous Kindred could have been maintained ( as Buckingham's was ) with Three Kingdoms Revenue . And now Buckingham having the Chancellor , Treasurer , and all great Officers , his very Slaves , swells in the height of Pride , summons up all his Country Kindred ; the Old Countess providing a place for them , to learn to carry themselves in a Court-like Garb. Then must these Women-Kindred be Married to Earls , Earls Eldest Sons , Barons , or chief Gentlemen of greatest Estates ; insomuch that the very Female Kindred were so numerous , as sufficient to have Peopled any Plantation : Nay , very Kitchin-Wenches were Married to Knights Eldest Sons . Then was there a Parliament Summoned ; in which , Bacon , for his Injustice , was thrust out ; being closely Prosecuted by one Morby , a Woodmonger , and one Wreham ; and was , by the said Parliament , justly put out of his Place . In Bacon's place comes Williams , a man on purpose brought in at first to serve turns ; but in this place to do that , which none of the Laiety could be found bad enough to undertake . This Williams , though he wanted much of his Predecessors ▪ Abilities for the Law , yet he equall'd him for Learning and Pride , and beyond him in the way of Bribery : This man answering by Petitions , a new way , in which his Servants had one Part , himself another ; and so was calculated to be worth to Himself and Servants , Three thousand Pounds per Annum . And now being come to the height of his Preserment , he did estrange himself from the Company of the old Countess , having much younger Ware , who had Keys to his Chamber to come to him ; yet was there a Necessity of keeping him in this Place for a time , the Spanish Match being yet in Chase ; and , if it succeeded , this Man was to clap the Great Seal , ( through his Ignorance in the Laws ) to such Things , that none that understood the Danger by knowing the Laws , would venture upon ; and for this Design he was at first brought in ; ( no Prince living knowing how to make use of Men better than King James . ) The Spanish Match having been long in Treaty , and it being suspected now , that the Spaniard did juggle with the State in this , as they formerly did in a Match with that brave Prince Henry ; and in truth , in all other Things , wherein any Negotiation had been , only feeding the King with fair Hopes , and fair Words , yet foul Deeds . Whether the King suspected any such Matters , or any Whimsie came in the Brain of the great Favourite and Prince , to imitate the old Stories of the Knights-Errand ; but agreed it was , ( it should seem ) between the Favourite and the Prince only , ( no one other so much as dreaming of any such Adventure ) except Cottington , which also accompanied them , that the Prince must go himself into Spain . Away they went under the borrowed Names of Jack and Tom Smith , to the amazement of all wise Men , only accompanied with Three more Persons , taking their way by France ; had the Ports laid so , that ▪ none should follow them , or give any Notice to the French-Court , till they might get the start , &c. Yet their Wisdoms made them adventure to stay in the French-Court , and look on that Lady whom he after Married : And there did this Mars imitate one of Prince Arthur's Knights , in seeking Adventures in foreign Princes Territories . First beheld this French Beauty , Mars visemque cupit , patiturque cupita ; as in our Discourse will afterward appear : From thence away to Spain ; but as the Journey was only plotted by young Heads ; it was so childishly carried , that they escaped the French-King's Curriers very narrowly ; but escape they did , and arrived safely in Spain , their wished Port , before either welcome or expected by our Ambassadors , or that State. Yet now must the best Face be put on , at all hands ; that put their Grandees to new Shifts , and our Ambassador , the Earl of Bristol , to try his Wit : For at that time Sir W. Aston was also Ambassador at Spain , in all Occurrences . Aston complyed with the Prince and Duke ; Bristol rancounter ; and the Duke and Bristol hated each other mortally . Bristol had the advantage of them there , as having the much better Head-piece , and being more conversant and dear to that State , wholly complying with them ; and surely had done them very acceptable Services , ( and in this very Treaty , was of the Pack ; ) Buckingham had the advantage of him in England , ( for , although the King did not hate Buckingham , yet was so awed , that he durst not discover it . ) Then Buckingham had all Interest in his Successor by this Journey , so that he layd a present and future Foundation for his succeeding Greatness . For all his Power and Greatness , Bristol did not forbear to put all Scorns , Affronts , and Tricks on him ; and Buckingham lay so open , as gave the other advantage enough by his Lascivious Carriage and Miscarriage . Amongst all his Tricks , he play'd One so cunningly , that it cost him all the Hair on his Head , and put him to the Dyet ; for it should seem , he made court to Conde Oliv●res's Lady , who was very handsom : But it was so plotted betwixt the Lady , her Husband , and Bristol , that instead of that Beauty , he had a Notorious Stew sent to him ; and surely , his Carriage there was so Lascivious , that had ever the Match been really intended for our Prince ; yet such a Companion or Guardian , was , enough to have made them believe , that he was that way inclined ; and so have frustrated the Marriage , that being a grave and sober Nation : Bucking . being of a light and loose Behaviour ; and had not the Prince himself been of an extraordinary staid Temper , the other had been a very ill Guardian unto him . But now many Lords flock over , and many Servants , that he might appear the Prince of Great Britain , and like himself , though he came thither like a private Person : Many Treaties were ; sometimes Hope , sometimes Fear ; sometimes great Assurance ; then all dasht again ; and however , his Entertainment was as great as possible that State could afford ; yet was his Addresses to , and with the Lady such , as rendred him mean and a private Person , rather than a Prince of that State , that formerly had made Spain feel the Weight of their Anger and Power , and was like a Servant , not a Suitor ; for he never was admitted but to stand bare-head in her Presence , nor to talk with her , but in a full Audience with much Company . At last , after many Heats and Cools , many Hopes and Despairs , the Prince wrote a Letter to his Father of a desperate Despair , not only of not enjoying his Lady , but of never more returning ; with this Passage ; You must now , Sir , look upon my Sister and her Children , forgetting ever you had such a Son , and never thinking more of Me. Now the Folly of this Voyage , plotted only by green Heads , began to appear , many shewing much Sorrow , many smiling at their Follies , ( and , in truth , glad in their Hearts ; ) and however the King was a cunning Dissembler , and shewed much outward Sorrow , as he did for Prince Henry's Death ; yet something was discerned , which made his Court believe little Grief came near his Heart ; for that Hatred he bore to Buckingham long , ( as being Satiated with him ) and his Adoring the Rising-Sun , not looking after the Sun-Setting , made the World believe , he would think it no ill Bargain , to lose his Son , so Buckingham might be lost also . The Reason the King so hated Buckingham , was , ( besides his being weary of Him , and his Marriage , after which the King's Edge was ever taken off from all Favourites ; yet this had so much the over-awing Power of Him , that He durst not make Shew to affect any other : ) There was one Inniossa , a Spanish Ambassador extraordinary , being an old Souldier , and a Gallant Fellow , thought that Buckingham did not give that Respect to Him , which was due to his own Person , or to the Person of so Great a King , whose Person He represented . This Inniosa being a daring Gentleman , used some Speeches in Derogation of the Prince and Buckingham , as if they were dangerous to the old King : Nay , Inniosa sent one Padro Mecestria , ( a Spanish Jesuit , and a great States-man ) to King James , to let Him know , that He , under Confession , had found the King was by Buckingham , or by his Procurement , to be Killed ; but whether by Poyson , Pistol , Dagger , &c. he could not tell . The King , after the Hearing of this , was extreamly Melancholly ; and in that Passion was found by Buckingham , at his return to Him : The King , as soon as ever He espyed him , said , Ah , Stenny , Stenny ( for so He ever called him in familiarity . ) Wilt Thou kill Me ? At which , Buckingham started , and said ; Who , Sir , hath so abused You ? At which the King sate Silent ; Out went Buckingham , Fretting and Fuming ; asked , Who had been with the King in his Absence ? It was told him , Padro Mecestria : Then Buckingham went immediately and questioned Padro Mecestria ; Which Quarrel Inni●ssa undertook , and told him , He would maintain him a Traytor ; and , wear his Master's Person off him , He was a Chivalier , and better Born than Himself , and would make it Good on Him with his Sword. Buckingham being fully Satisfied on several Accounts , of the great Hatred the King now bare unto him , He turned as great an Hater of the King ; and though the King had more Power to Revenge , He had less Courage ; and Buckingham less Power , and more Courage , sharpned with Revenge : And however the World did believe the King's Inclination was out of a Religious Ground that He might not Revenge ; yet it was no other but a Cowardly Disposition , that durst not adventure . But although the King lost his Opportunity on Buckingham ; yet the Black Plaister and Powder did shew , Buckingham lost not his on the King ; and that it was no Fiction , but a Reality , that Padro Mecestria had formerly told the King. And now to return from this Digression , ( which is not impertinent , besides a great Secret ; ) The Prince returns from Spain , contrary to Expectation , in which the Wisdom and Gravity of the Spaniard failed him ; especially if they did believe Padro Mecestria , ( besides , Nature could not long Support the old King ; ) and then the Spaniard might have made no little Advantage , by enjoying such a Pledge . Now is all the Fault ( of the Match not succeeding ) laid on Digby's False Play , and Unfaithfulness to his Master , and Combining with the Spaniard for his own Ends : And Buckingham , the most Hated Man then living , from an Accused Man in the former Parliament , came to be the very Darling of this Parliament . In the Banquetting-Hhouse , before both Houses of Parliament , does Buckingham give an Account at large of his Spanish-Voyage ; and to every full Point , ( as a further Attestation ) he saith , How say You , Sir ? To which the Prince answered , I , Yea , or Yes ; and thorough all his Discourse , laboured to make Bristol as hateful to this Parliament , as Himself had been to the Former : Bristol having some Friends that sent him Advice of All into Spain , He immediately Posts for England , makes Buckingham's Relation and Accusation wholly Scandalous and False , and becomes a great Favourite to King James . In this Place , I hold it not unfit to shew the Reader , how the King hath ever been Abused , and would be abused , by over-much Credulity in the Treaty of Spain for Marriages , as well as in all other Negotiations . You shall now perceive , how the King was Abused in this Treaty ; which was an Error inexcusable in Himself , and whole Council . The Italians having a Proverb , He that Deceives me Once , it is his Fault ; but if Twice , it is my Fault : This second time could not but be the only Fault of the King and Council . In Prince Henry's Life-time , the King had a little Man , but a very great and wise Councellor , little Salisbury , his Secretary of State , that great Statesman , who did Inherit all his Fathers Wisdom , as well as his Offices . There was a Treaty , in the like case , for Prince Henry ; Salisbury instantly discovered the Jugling , before any other did think of any ; for although it went forward cunningly , yet did Salisbury so put the Duke of Lerma unto it , that either it must be , or they must confess their Jugling . The Duke of Lerma denied , that ever there had been any Treaty , or any Intention from that State : Salisbury sent for the Ambassador to a full Council , and told him , How he had abused the King and State , about a Treaty for Marriage , which he had no Commission for ; that therefore he was liable to the Laws of our Kingdom : For when any Servant doth abuse a State by their Master's Commission , then that Servant was freed ; but , without Commission , was culpable , and liable to be Punished , by the Laws of that State ; as being disavowed to be Servant to the King his Master . The Ambassador answered gravely ▪ He did not understand the cause of his coming ; therefore was then unprepared to give any Answer ; but , on Monday , he would again come , and give his Answer . On Monday he comes , begins with these words ; My Soul , is my God's ; my Life , my Master 's ; my Reputation , my Own : I will not forfeit my First and Last , to preserve the Second : Then lays down his Commission , and Letters of Instruction , under the Duke of Lerma's own Hand . He acquitted himself Honestly in this State , yet lost his own ; being instantly sent for Home , where he lived and dyed in Disgrace ; here was , Legatus vir bonus peregre missus sed non ad mentiendum reipublicae causa . By this you see the advantage and benefit of one Wise Counsellor in a whole State ; and although Solomon says , By the multitude of Councellors , doth a Kingdom Flourish ; yet , surely , he intended they should be Wise Men , that are Councellors : for we had such a multitude of Councellors , that a longer Table , and a larger Council-Chamber was provided ; yet our State was so far from Flourishing , that it had been almost utterly destroyed . I shall now bring my Story to an end , as I shall this King's Life ; although I have made some Digressions , yet all pertinent to the Secret Intreagues of this King's Reign . He now goes to his last Hunting-Journey , ( I mean , the last of the Year , as well as his Life ) which He ever ended in Lent , and was seized on by an extraordinary Tertian Ague ; which , at that Season , according to the Proverb , was Physick for a King ; but King James did not find it so ; and , poor King ▪ what was but Physick to any other , was made Mortal to him : Yet 't was not the Ague , as himself Confessed to many of his Servants ; one of which crying , Courage , Sir , this is but a small Fit , the next will be none at all : At which he most earnestly looked , and said , Ah! it is not the Ague afflicteth me ; but the black Plaster and Powder given me , and laid to my Stomach : and , in truth , the Plaster so troubled him , that he was glad to have it pulled off , and , with it , the Skin also : Nor was it fair Dealing , if he had sair Play , ( which himself suspected , often saying to Montgomery , whom he trusted , above all Men , in his Sickness , For God's sake , look I have fair Play ) to bring in an Emperick , to apply any Medicines , whil'st those Physicians , appointed to attend him , were at Dinner ; nor could any but Buckingham Answer it , with less than his Life . Buckingham coming into the King's Chamber , even when He was at the point of Death , an honest Servant of the King 's , crying , Ah! my Lord , you have Undone us , all his poor Servants ; although you are so well provided , you need not care : At which Buckingham kickt at him , who caught his Foot , and made his Head first come to the Ground ; where Buckingham presently rising , run to the Dying-King's Bed-side , and cryed , Justice , Sir , I am abused by your Servant , and wrongfully Accused : At which the poor King Mournfully fixed his Eyes on him ; as who would have said , Not wrongfully ; yet without Speech or Sense . It were worth the knowledge , what his Confessions was , or what other Expressions he made of himself , or any other ; but that was only known to the dead Arch-Bishop Abbot , and the then living Bishop Williams , and the Lord-Keeper ; and , it was thought , Williams had blabbed something , which incensed the King's Anger , and Buckingham's Hatred , so much against him , that the loss of his Place could not be expiatory sufficient , but his utter ruine must be determined , and that for the great Crime of Lapsus Linguae . Now having brought this King ( who was stiled the King of Peace ) to rest in all Peace ; the 27th of March , his Son , by Sound of the Trumpet , was Proclaimed King , by the Name of CHARLES the First . His Father's Reign began with a great Plague , and we have shewed what his Reign was : His Son 's , with a greater Plague , ( the greatest that ever had been in these parts ) : We come now to shew what his Reign was , in the ensuing Discourse . FINIS . THE Secret History , &c. THE Misfortunes of this Monarch , Son to King James , with the uncouth , dismal , and unexpressible Calamities that happened thereupon , appear yet so great a Sacrifice in the Opinions of all , Interested by the Loss , or Suborned by that natural Propensity , inherent in the most , to expunge or palliate the Lapses of unhappy Princes ( whose Indulgence is not seldom so defensive , as to expiate for the Faults of those standing in a far remoter Relation , than that of a Father ) that they have hitherto stoped my Pen , from making any farther Progress that way ; till , led on by a Zeal to Truth , and illuminated from the brighter Judgments of others , I found not only the Imprudent Commissions , but voluntary Omissions of King James , so much instrumental in the promotion of our late Unnatural Wars : As it may justly be said , He , like Adam , by bringing the Crown into so great a Necessity , through profuse Prodigality , became the Original of his Son's Fall : who was , in a manner , compelled to stretch out his Hands towards such Gatherings and Taxes , as were contrary to Law ; by which He fell from the Paradice of a Prince , to wit , The Hearts of his People ; though the best Polititians extant , might miscarry in their Calculation of a Civil-War , immediately to follow , upon the Death of Queen Elizabeth , in Vindication of the number of Titles and Opinions , then current : Yet the Beggarly Rabble attending King James , not only at his first coming out of Scotland , but through his whole Reign , ( like a fluent Spring ) found still crossing the River Tweed , did so far justifie the former Conjecture , as it was only thought mistaken , in relation to Time. King James departing this Life , at Theobald's , the 27th day of March , 1625. in the Fifty Ninth Year of his Age , when He had Reigned Twenty Two Years compleat : In the Afternoon , of the same day , Charles , Prince of Wales , his only Son then living , was Proclaimed King of Great Britain , France , and Ireland . The first thing He did , was performing the Ceremonies of his Father's Funeral ; in which the King himself , in Person , followed as Chief Mourner . He then proceeded to consummate the Marriage with Hentietta Maria , Younger Daughter of the great Henry the Fourth , King of France , whom He had formerly seen in his Journey , through that Country ▪ into Spain . The King then called a Parliament ▪ which Assembled the 18th of June following ; to whom He represented ▪ in a short Speech , The urgent necessity of raising a Subsidy , since it would not agree with his Kingly Honour to shrink from the War with Spain , which his Father , upon solid Consideration , had , by consent of Both Houses , undertake● ; although prevented , by Death , from putting it in Execution , &c. The Parliament would not resolve on raising of Money , till they had first presented their Two Petitions ▪ concerning , Reasons of Religion , and Complaint of their Sufferings ; which Points had been offered to his Father , King James , in the close of his last Parliament ; and , by his Death , were left hitherto unanswered : In Both which , they received satisfaction ; and likewise an account of the Arrears which were due to the Forces , by Sea and Land ; together with an estimate of the future Charge and Expence of the Spanish War : Upon which , the King obtained , of the Laiety , Two Subsidies to be paid by Protestants , and Four from Papists ; and Three Subsidies from the Clergy . In this Parliament , Dr. Montague , the King's Chaplain , was questioned for certain Tenets , in his Answer to a Book , called the Romish Dagger . Divers Laws were Enacted in this Parliament ; as one about the Observation of the Lord's-Day ; and another , for Restraint of Tippling in Inns and Ale-Houses . On the 11th of July , 1629. the Parliament , by reason of the great Plague or Sickness , that then raged , Adjourned till August the 1st ; where the King , first by Himself , and next by his Secretaries , the Lord Conway , and Sir J. Cook , declared to them the necessity of setting forth a Fleet , for the Recovery of the Palatinate : The Lord Treasurer likewise Instanced the several Summs of Money , which King James Died Indepted to the City of London . This occasioned very warm Debates in the House of Commons ; who alledged , That Evil Counsels guided the King's Designs : That the Treasury was misimployed : That our Necessities arose through Improvidence : That it would be necessary to Petition the King , for a stricter Hand , and abler Council , to manage his Affairs : That though a former Parliament engaged the King in a War ; yet , if things were managed with contrary Designs , and the Treasury were misimployed , this Parliament was not bound to be carried blindfold in Designs , not guided by sound Counsel : That it was not usual to grant Subsidies upon Subsidies in one Parliament , and no Grievances Redressed : with many other Passages of the like nature . They likewise very much reflected on the Miscarriages of the Duke of Buckingham , who was then a Person of a very Considerable Trust : They presented the King with a Petition against Popish Recusants , &c. Unto which , a Satisfactory Answer was returned : And thereupon there followed a Debate about Supplies ; Some were for Contributing presently , Others Demurred , as disliking the Design in Hand ; and , in Conclusion , the Major-part agreed not to give : And then being Incensed against the Duke of Buckingham ▪ they began to think of Divesting Him of his Offices , and to require an Account of the Publick Money , &c. To prevent which , the King Dissolved the Parliament . Now the War with Spain being intended , both for the Recovery of the Palatinate , and to prevent Disturbances in our Civil State ; but by reason of the Dissolving of the Parliament , the King was Necessitated to take up Money upon Loan , of such Persons as were of Ability to Lend : And to that end , he Directed his Letters to the Lord Lieutenants of the several Counties ; To return the Names of those Men they thought most Sufficient ; the Places of their Abodes , and what Sums each might be judged able to Lend . And to the Persons returned , Letters were Issued forth in the King's Name , shewing ; That His Majesty , having Observed , in the Precedents and Customs of former Times , That all the Kings and Queens of this Realm , upon Extraordinary Occasions , have used either to Resort to those Contributions , which arise from the Generality of the Subjects , or to the Private Helps of some Well-affected in that Particular , by way of Loan : With many Cogent Reasons , shewing , How His present pressing Emergencies required His having Recourse to the Method of Raising Moneys . Upon the Second of February , was the Coronation ; at which the King did not pass through the City in State from the Tower , as was usual ; but went by Water from White-Hall to Westminster , for fear of the Danger of the Concourse of People ; the Pestilence which Raged the Year before , not being quite ceased . The King Summons a Parliament to Sit February the Sixth ; And being Met accordingly , the King Chose Sir H. Finch for their Speaker : Then they fell upon Debate of the Publick Grievances ; viz. The Miscarrying of the Fleet at Cadiz ; the Evil Counsellors about the King , mis-employing the King's Revenue , on account of the Subsidies , and Three Fifteens , Granted in the One and twentieth Year of King James . Then the House of Commons were very busie in Searching the Signet-Office , for the Original of a Letter under the Signet , Written to the Mayor of York , for Reprieving divers Priests and Jesuits . This was Reported by Pim , Chair-man to the Committee for Religion ; but their Proceedings therein was interrupted , by a Message from the King , sent by Sir R. Weston , demanding a Supply for the English and Irish Forces . This was so highly resented , that one Sir Clement Cook , one of the Members , openly Protested ; That it was better to Dye by a Foreign Enemy , than to be Destroyed at Home . And Doctor Turner , one of the House , Seconded him , with many Bold Expressions : Which so Provoked the King , that He immediately sent Sir R. Weston , to demand Satisfaction of the House of Commons : Whereupon Dr. Turner presently after , made a Speech in Vindication , and for Explaining himself ; which was Seconded by Sir W. Waller , Sir J. Elliot , and many other Members of the House . But , notwithstanding these Discourses , the Commons taking the King's Necessities into Consideration , Voted Three Subsidies , and Three Fifteens ; and the Bill should be brought in as soon as the Grievances , which were Represented , were Redressed . But the King Observing they did not make as much Hast as He expected , to answer His last Message , Summons both Houses together ; and , by the Lord Keeper , Complains to them , For not punishing Dr. Turner , and C. Cook ; and likewise , for Searching his Signet-Office ; and also Justified the Duke of Buckingham to have Acted nothing of Publick Employment , without His Special Warrant : He blamed them for being too Sparing in the matter of Supply ; and for Ordering the Bill not to be brought in , till their Grievances were Heard and Answered , which He would not Admit of . But the Commons , in Answer , present a Remonstrance , and justifie Themselves . The King again Earnestly pressed the House of Commons , for a speedy Supply , by their Speaker Sir H. Finch ; giving them to understand , That if they did not pass the Bill of Subsidy by the end of the Week following , it would enforce Him to take other Resolutions ; and if , by their Denial , or Delay , any thing of ill Consequences should fall out , either at Home , or Abroad , He called God and Man to Witness , That He had done his Part to prevent it , by Calling his People together , to Advise with Him ; whose Sitting ( if they dispatched This , according to his Desire ) He resolved to continue , for the Dispatch of other Affairs ; and after their Recess , to bring Them again together the next Winter . Before the Commons sent an Answer , they drew up a Petition to His Majesty ; That He would be pleased to Remove from all Places of Trust and Authority , all such Persons as were either Popish Recusants , or , according to the Directions of former Acts of State , justly to be suspected to be such . And herewith they likewise sent a large Scroul , of the Names of all such Noblemen and others , as continued in Places of High Trust in the several Counties of England . Presently after the Commons drew up another Declaration of Grievances against the Duke of Buckingham , whom they Resolved utterly to Overthrow , though much contrary to the Inclination of the King ; who being thereat Incensed , Dissolved the Parliament the very next Day , June 15th , 1626. After which , the King Published a Declaration , shewing the Grounds and Reasons of his Dissolving this , and the former Parliament . Then several ways were Resolved on , for Advancing the King's Revenue : First , Levying of Customs and Impost on all Merchandize , ( supposed to be settled to the King by the Two last Parliaments . ) Privy Seals also were Issued out , and Benevolence proposed ; and , at length , a Commission for a General Loan was Resolved on . Sir Randolph Crew , for not appearing Vigorous in promoting the Loan , was Displaced from being Lord-Chief-Justice ; the Bishop of Lincoln was likewise Informed against in the Star-Chamber , by Sir J. Lamb , and Dr. Sibthorp , for speaking against the Loan , and seeming to Favour the Puritans and Non-Conformists . The Assessment of the Loan , was generally Opposed ; whereupon the People of the lower Rank , were ordered to Appear in the Millitary-Yard , next St. Martins in the Fields , before the Lieutenant of the Tower , to be Listed for Souldiers ; it being thought Necessary , that those which refused to Assist with their Purses in Common Defence , should be forced to Serve in their Persons ; Others of better Quality , were bound to Appear at the Council-Table ; several of whom were Committed Prisoners to the Fleet , Marshalsea , Gate-house , &c. and among others , Sir J. Elliot , who Petitioned His Majesty , and repeated many Precedents ; That all manner of Taxes , in former King's Reigns , were never Levied , but by the General Consent of the Nobility and Commons , Assembled in Parliament . However , he was Committed Prisoner to the Gate-House ; and upon the same account , Sir P. Haymon was Commanded to Serve the King in the Palatinate ; which he did accordingly . Doctor Sibthorp and Dr. Maynwaring , two Eminent Preachers at Court , about this time , Preached up the Necessity and Duty of the Loan ; One of them Asserting , That the Prince had Power to Direct his Council , and make Laws ; and that Subjects , if they cannot exhibit Active Obedience , in case the Thing commanded should be against the Law of God , or Nature , or more impossible ; yet nevertheless , they ought to yield Passive Obedience ; and , in all other Cases , they were bound to Active Obedience . The other Affirmed , That the King 's Royal Command , in Imposing of Laws and Taxes , though without Common Consent in Parliament , did Oblige the Subject's Conscience , upon Pain of Eternal Damnation . Which Position being entertain'd by the Court with Applause , the Sermon of Dr. Sibthorp's , call'd , Apostolick Obedience , was Licensed by Doctor Laud , Bishop of London ; And an express Command was sent from the King to Arch-Bishop Abbot , to Licence it , which he refused : Whereupon he was Suspended from his Archiepiscopal-Sea . In 1627. ( being the Third Year of His Majesty's Reign ) the Duke of Buckingham , to clear his Reputation , as to the Charge of Negligence in his Admiralship , with much ado Compleated his Naval Forces , consisting of Six thousand Horse and Foot , in Ten Ships Royal , and Ninety Merchant-Men ; with which he set Sail from Portsmouth , June 27th , and Published a Manifesto , of the K.'s Affections to the Reformed Churches in France : But by several Accidents , this Great Design miscarried . At this Time the Exchequer was very low ; and several late Enterprizes having miscarried , it was Resolved , That a Parliament should be immediately Called , and Writs were accordingly Issued out : A Commission likewise passed under the Great Seal , for raising Moneys through the Kingdom , in nature of an Excise : There was some Discourse of Levying of Ship-Money ; but it was declined at that Time , because of the Parliament's approaching . Upon the 17th of March , 1627 , the Parliament Assembled ; and the King , with the Lord-Keeper , in two Speeches , earnestly Pressed them to Consider of some speedy way , for Supplying His Majesty's Necessities . The first Thing taken into Consideration , by the Commons , was the Grievance of the Kingdom ; and the first Thing insisted on , was the Case of those Gentlemen , for refusing the Loan ; and who , notwithstanding their Habeas Corpus , were remanded to Prison ; and it was Resolved in the House , Nemine contradicente , That no Man ought to be Restrained by the King , or Privy-Council , without some Cause of the Commitment . Secondly , That the Writ of Habeas Corpus , ought to be Granted upon Request to every Man that is Restrained , though by the Command of the King and Privy-Council , or any other . Thirdly , That if a Free-man be Imprisoned by the Command of the King , &c. and no Cause of such Commitment expressed , and the same be Returned upon an Habeas Corpus granted for the said Party , then he ought to be Delivered , or Bailed . Then the Parliament proceeded to draw up a Petition against Popish Recusants ; to which the King gave them a Satisfactory Answer : After which , Five Subsidies were granted to the K. which gave so great Satisfaction to His Majesty , that He sent them word , He would deny them nothing of their Liberties , which any of his Predecessors had granted : Whereupon the Commons fell upon the Memorable Petition of Right , and was afterwards agreed to by both Houses , that it should be settled to the King. And when the Petition was Presented to His Majesty , the Answer following was quickly returned : The King willeth that Right be done according to Law and Customs of the Realm , and the Statutes be put in due Execution ; that His Subjects may have no Cause to complain of any Wrongs or Oppressions contrary to their just Rights and Liberties ; to the Preservation whereof , He holds Himself in Conscience as well Obliged , as to that of his Prerogative . This Answer being read in the House of Commons , was not judged Satisfactory ; and therefore , upon their humble Petition , His Majesty , to shew how Free and Candid His Concessions were to His Subjects , sent them this short , but full Answer ; Soit Droit Fait come il est desire ; Let it be done according to your Desire : Which Answer mightily pleased both Houses ; and His Majesty , for further Satisfaction , suffered the Commission of Loan and Excise to be Cancelled , and received Abbot and Williams into his Favour again ; so that all Discontents , on every side , seemed to be Banished . In 1628. ( the Fourth Year of His Majesty's Reign ) the Parliament drew up a Remonstrance against Buckingham , and against Bishop Neal , and Bishop Laud ; which they Presented to the King , with the Bill of Subsidies ; His Majesty telling them , That He expected not such a Return , for His favourable Answer to the Petition of Right ; and as for the Grievances , He would take time to Consider . An Information being likewise exhibited against the Duke , in the Star-Chamber ; an Order was made in that Court , That all Proceedings thereupon should be taken off the File , by the King 's express Will and Pleasure : And the King being resolved to hold up the Duke , sent so brisk an Answer to their Remonstrances , as provoked the Commons , to question his taking Tunnage and Poundage ; which being of too valuable a consideration to be hazarded , His Majesty Obviated , by Adjourning the Parliament to the 20. of Octob. following . The Earl of Danby having Sailed with Fifty Ships , to the Relief of Rochel , was repelled with much Loss ; so that despairing of Success , he returned back to Plimouth : Whereupon another Expedition was resolved on , with a more considerable Navy , and the Duke of Buckingham was designed Admiral ; who going to Portsmouth , in order to hastening of Business , one John Felton , a Lieutenant , Stabbed him to the Heart with a Knife ; Felton , after he had committed the Fact , did not Fly , but voluntary acknowledged he was the Person ; and being asked , What inclined him to commit so Barbarous an Act ? he boldly answered , He Killed him for the Cause of God , and his Country . The Parliament was to have met in October ; but , by reason of some ill News , during this Expedition , they were Adjourned to January 20. In which time , the Merchants refusing to pay Custom , had their Goods seized : Complaint thereof being made to the Parliament ; the King Summons the Two Houses , to the Banqueting-House at White-Hall , and requires them to Pass the promised Bill of Tonnage and Poundage , for ending all Differences ; since it was too precious a Jewel of the Crown , to be so lightly forgone . But the Commons answered , That God's Cause was to be prefered , before the King 's ; and that they would therefore , in the first place , consult about Religion : And therefore , they appointed one Committee for Religion , and another for Civil Matters : In the last , was a Complaint , about the Customs ; and the Farmers of the Customs were Challenged ; but the King excused them , as acting by His Command : Yet this being not clear to the Parliament , they would have proceeded against them , as Delinquents : Whereupon the King sent them word , That in Honour he could not , nor would give way thereunto : which so incensed the Parliament , that they Adjourned themselves for some Days ; and then Meeting again , the King Adjourned them till March 10. The Commons inraged thereat , blamed their Speaker , for admitting the Message ; and ordered Sir J. Elliot to draw up their Remonstrance ; which was in very high terms , about the Tonnage and Poundage . The Commons having prepared their Remonstrance , about the Bill of Tonnage and Poundage , they required their Speaker to put it to the Vote , whether it should be Presented to the King or not , but the Speaker refused it ; and , according to the King's Order , would have gone away ; but Mr. Hollis would not suffer him to stir , till himself had read the Protestation of the House , consisting of Three Heads . I. Whosoever shall bring in any Innovation of Religion ; or , by Favour , seek to introduce Popery , or Arminianism , or other Opinions , disagreeing to the Orthodox Church , shall be reputed a Capital Enemy to this Kingdom , and Common-Wealth . II. Whosoever shall Counsel or Advise , the Taking or Levying the Subsidies of Tonnage and Poundage , without being granted by Parliament , or shall be an Actor , or Instrument therein , shall be likewise reputed a Capital Enemy to the Common-Wealth . III. If any shall yield voluntary , or Pay the same , not being granted by Parliament , he shall be reputed a Betraver of the Liberties of England , and an Enemy to the Common-Wealth . These were so much disliked by the King , that he immediately sent for the Serjeant of Mace out of the House of Commons ; but Sir M. Hobart took the Key from him , and locking the Door , would not suffer him to go forth : At which the King being very much offended , sends the Usher of the Black-Rod to Dissolve Them , who was not admitted in : Whereupon the King , with his Guard of Pensioners , were resolved to force their Entrance ; which the Commons having notice of , they suddenly went all out of the House : And this was the End of this Parliament . After their Dissolution , the King Published a Declaration , setting forth the Cause thereof ; notwithstanding which , it procured great Animosities in the People , against the Prime Ministers of State , which occasioned divers Libels to be dispersed abroad ; whereof one against Bishop Laud , was found in the Dean of St. Paul's Yard , to this effect ; Laud , look to thy self , to be sure thy Life is sought ; as thou art the Fountain of Wickedness , Repent of thy Monstrous Sin , before thou be taken out of the World : And assure thy self , that neither God , nor the World , can endure such a vile Whisperer and Councellor . Some , considering the unsuccessfulness of This , and the Two former Parliaments , advised the King never to Call any more : And , to that end , the famous Book of Projects was Published , and Addrest to the King ; proposing some Methods , to prevent the Impertinency of Parliaments ( as he called them ) from time to time , by the Example of Lewis XI . of France ; who pretending that the Commons , or Third part , did encroach too much on the Nobility and Clergy , Dissolved it ; and never after suffered the People freely to Elect their Representatives , but nominated certain Eminent Persons himself , instead thereof ; which is called , L' Assembly des Notabiles , or the Assembly of the Chief or Principal Men. Upon May 29. 1630. the Queen was Delivered of a Son , at St. James's , who was Christened Charles ; who afterwards Succeeded his Father in these Kingdoms , by the Name of CHARLES the Second . In the Year 1633. ( and the Ninth of His Majesty's Reign ) the King made a Journey into Scotland , and was Solemnly Crowned at Edinborough , June 18. And then the King Calls a Parliament , and passed an Act , for the Ratification of the Old Acts. In this Scotish Parliament , that Nation shewed some sign of Disaffection to the King : And the generality of the Common People would not suffer the Bishop of Dumblaine , Dean of the King 's private Chapple there , to perform Prayers twice a day , after the English manner : Neither durst they receive the Communion on their Knees ; nor wear a Surplice upon Sundays and Holy-Days . In the Year 1634. the design of Ship-Money was first set on foot ; and Attorney-General Noy being consulted about it , he pretends , out of some Old Records , to find an Ancient Precedent of raising a Tax on the Nation , by the Authority of the King alone , for setting out a Navy , in case of Danger ; which was thereupon put in Execution : And , by this Tax , the King raised ( by Writ ) above Twenty Thousand Pounds per Month , though not without great Discontent , both among the Clergy and Laiety . The Discontent in Scotland began farther to increase ; and a Book was Published , charging the King with indirect Proceedings in the last Parliament , and a tendency to the Romish Belief . And now , to blow up these Scotch Sparks to a Flame , Cardinal Richlieu sent over his Chaplain , and another Gentleman , to heighten their Discontents . The Author of that Book was Seized , and found to be abetted by the Lord Balmerino ; who was thereupon Arraigned by his Peers , and Sentenced to Death ; but Pardoned by the King. The latter end of the Year , 1635. great Differences arose about Church Matters , chiefly occasioned by Arch-Bishop Laud's strict and zealous enjoyning Ceremonies ; as placing the Communion-Table at the East-end of the Church , upon an Ascent with Rails , Altar-fashion ; with many other things , not formerly insisted on ; and now vehemently opposed , by those who were formerly called Puritans and Non-Conformists ; which caused them to be charged with Faction : Yet some of the Episcopal Party asserted , That the Communion-Table ought to stand in the middle of the Quire , according to the Primitive Example : And a Book , supposed to be Written by Dr. Williams , Bishop of Lincoln , was Published , to this purpose . Several Gentlemen of Quality had refused to Pay the Ship-Money ; and among the rest , Mr. Hamden of Buckingham-shire ; upon which , the King refers the whole Business to the Twelve Judges , in Michaelmas-Term , 1636. Ten of whom , that is , Brampton , Finch , Davenport , Denham , Jones , Trever , Vernon , Berkly , Crowly , Weston , gave their Judgments against Hamden ; but Hutton and Crook refused it . His Majesty desiring an Uniformity in England and Scotland ; in pursuance thereof , enjoyned the Scots the use of the English Liturgy , the Surplice , and other Habiliments ; and began first in his own Chapple : And in this Year , 1637. Proclamation was made , That the same should be used throughout all Churches , wherewith the Bishops were contented ; but not the Kirk , nor the People ; who were so inraged thereat , that in Edinborough , and divers other Parts of that Kingdom , where the Liturgy was begun to be read , committed very great Outrages and Violences , against the Persons that read it ; and could not be appeased , by the Power of the Magistrate : And some time after , the Scots entred into a solemn League and Covenant , to preserve the Religion there Profest . This Covenant the Scots were resolved to maintain ; and , to that purpose , they sent for General Lesly , and other great Officers , from beyond Sea , providing themselves likewise with Arms and Ammunition . After this , they Elect Commissioners for the general Assembly ; whom they cite to move the Arch-Bishops and Bishops to appear there , as Guilty Persons ; which being refused , the People present a Bill of Complaint against them , to the Presbitery at Edinbrough ; who accordingly warned them to appear at the next General Assembly : At their Meeting , the Bishops sent in a Protestation against their Assembly , which the Covenanters would not vouchsafe to read : And soon after they abolished Episcopacy ; and then prepared for a War. On which , the King of England prepares an Army for Scotland ; with which , in the Year , 1639. He Marched in Person into the North ; but , by the Mediation of some Persons , a Treaty of Peace was begun , and soon finished ; but a while after broke by the Scots . The King therefore resolved , since fair means would not prevail , to force the Scots to Reason : And , to that end , considers how to make Provisions for Men and Money ; and calling a Secret Cabinet Council , consisting only of Arch-Bishop Laud , the Earl of Strafford , and Duke Hamilton ; it was concluded , That for the King's Supply , a Parliament must be called in England , and another in Ireland ; but because the Debates of Parliament would take up some time , it was resolved , That the Lords should Subscribe to Lend the King Money : The Earl of Strafford Subscribed 20000 l. the Duke of Richmond , as much : The rest of the Lords , Judges , and Gentry , contributed according to their Ability , The Scots , on the other side , foreseeing the Storm , prepared for their own Defence ; making Treaties in Sweeden , Denmark , Holland , and Poland : And the Jesuits , who are never Idle , endeavour to Foment the Differences ; to which end , Con , the Pope's Nuncio , Sir Tob. Matthews , Read , and Maxwel , Two Scots , endeavoured to perswade the Discontented People , That the King designed to Enslave them to his Will and Pleasure . In the Year 1640. ( and the Sixteenth of the King's Reign ) a Parliament was called at Westminster , April 13. In which , the King presses them for a speedy Supply , to Suppress the Violences of the Scots . But whil'st the Parliament were Debating , whether the Grievances of the People , or the King's Supply should be first considered , and Matters were in some hopeful Posture , Secretary Vane , either accidentally , or on purpose , overthrew all at once ; by declaring , That the King required Twelve Subsidies ; whereas , at that time , he only desired Six : which so enraged the House , and made things so ill , that , by the advice of the Juncto , the Parliament was Dissolved , having only Sate Twenty Two Days . Arch-Bishop Laud , by his earnest Proceedings against the Puritans , and by his strict enjoyning of Ceremonies , especially reviving Old Ceremonies , ( which had not been lately observed ) procured , to himself , much Hatred from the People ; That upon May 9. 1640. a Paper was fixed on the Gate of the Royal-Exchange , inciting the Prentices to go and Sack his House at Lambeth , the Monday after ; but the Arch-Bishop had notice of their Design , and provided accordingly ; that at the time when they came , endeavouring to enter his House , they were Repulsed . The King grew daily more offended against the Scots , and calls a Select Juncto , to consult about them ; where the Earl of Strafford delivered his Mind in such terms as were afterwards made use of to his Destruction . War against them was resolved on , and Money was to be procured one way or other : The City was Invited to Lend , but refused : The Gentry contributed indifferent freely : So that with their Assistance , the Army was compleated : The King himself being Generalissimo ; the Earl of Northumberland , and the Earl of Strafford , Lieutenant-Generals : And Marching the Army into the North , between New-Castle and Berwick , there was some Action between the Two Armies ; in which , the Scots had the Better : A Treaty is then set on Foot ; and , to that end , the King receives a Petition from the Scots , complaining of their Grievances : To which He Answers , by his Secretary of Scotland , That he expects their particular Demands , which he receives in Three days , all tending to Call a Parliament in England ; without which , there could be no Redress for them : They had likewise , before their March into England , Published a Declaration , called , The Intentions of the Army , viz. Not to lay down Arms , till the Reformed Religion were settled in both Nations , upon sure grounds ; and the Causers and Abettors of their present Troubles , ( that is , Arch-Bishop Laud , and the Earl of Strafford ) were brought to Publick Justice in Parliament . At the same time , Twelve English Peers drew up a Petition , which they delivered to the King , for the Sitting of the Parliament . To which the King condescends : And now the time approaching for the Sitting of the Parliament , who accordingly Met , Novemb. 3. 1640. Mr. W. Lenthal was Chosen Speaker of the House of Commons : And the King , in a Speech , tells them , That the Scottish Troubles were the cause of their Meeting ; and therefore requires them to consider of the most expedient Means for casting them out ; and desired a Supply from them , for the maintaining of his Army . The Commons began with the Voting down all Monopolies ; and all such Members as had any Benefit by them , were Vottd out of the House : They then Voted down Ship-Money , with the Opinion of the Judges thereupon , to be Illegal ; and a Charge of High-Treason was ordered to be Drawn up against Eight of them ; and they resolved to begin with the Lord-Keeper Finch . December 11th , Alderman Pennington , and some hundreds of Citizens , presented a Petition , Subscribed by Fifteen thousand Hands , against Church-Discipline , and Ceremonies ; and a while after the House of Commons Voted , That the Clergy in a Synod or Convocation , have no Power to make Canons or Laws , without Parliaments ; and that the Canons are against the Fundamental Laws of this Realm , the King's Prerogative , and the Property of the Subject , the Right of Parliaments ; and tend to Faction and Sedition . In pursuance hereof , a Charge was ordered to be drawn up against Arch-Bishop Laud , as the Principal Framer of those Canons , and other Delinquencies ; which Impeachment was Seconded by another from the Scotch Commissioners : Upon which he was Committed to the Black-Rod ; and Ten Weeks after Voted Guilty of High-Treason , and sent to the Tower. The Scots likewise preferred a Charge against the Earl of Strafford , then in Custody , requiring Justice against them both , as the great Incendiaries and Disturbers both of Church and State. The Lord-Keeper Finch was the next Person designed to be Censured ; and notwithstanding a Speech made in his own Vindication , He was Voted a Traytor upon several Accounts : But he fore-saw the Storm , and went over into Holland . Upon Monday , March 26. 1640 , the Earl of Strafford's Tryal began in Westminster-Hall , the King , Queen , and Prince , being present ; and the Commons , being there likewise as a Committee , at the managing their Accusation : The Earl of Strafford , though he had but short Warning , yet made a Noble Defence . The Accusation was managed by Mr. Pym , consisting of Twenty eight Articles ; to most of which , the Earl made particular Replies . But the Commons were resolved to Prosecute him to Death ; and had therefore ( not only procured the Parliament of Ireland to Prosecute him there as Guilty of High-Treason ) but resolved to proceed against him by Bill of Attainder , which they proceeded to dispatch : And April 19. 1641. they Voted the Earl Guilty of High-Treason , upon the Evidence of Secretary Vane , and his Notes : And upon the 25th , they passed the Bill , and sent it to the Lords , for their Concurrence ; who a few Days after , likewise agreed to it . The Bill being finished , and the K. fearing the Conclusion , and being willing to do some good Office to the Earl , His Majesty , May 1. 1641 , Calls both Honses together , and in a Speech , tells them ; That he had been present at the Hearing that great Cause ; and that in his Conscience , possitively he could not Condemn him of High-Treason , and yet could not clear him of Misdemeanours ; but hoped a way might be found out to Satisfie Justice , and their Fears , without oppressing his Conscience . And so dismissed them , to their great Discontent : Which was propogated so far , that May 3. were One thousand Citizens , most of them Armed , came thronging down to Westminster , crying out for Justice against the Earl of Strafford . The Commons had now finished a Bill , for the Continuance of the Parliament ; which having passed the Lords , was tendred to the King to be Signed ; together with the Bill for the Attainder of the E. of Strafford : His Majesty Answered ; That on Monday following He would Satisfie them ; and on the Sunday , the King spent the whole Day with the Judges and Bishops , in Consulting : The Judges told him ; That in Point of Law , ( according to the Oath made by Sir Henry Vane ) he was Guilty of Treason . The Bishops all agreed ; That the King might shew Mercy without Scruple ; and that he could not Condemn the Earl , if he did not think him Guilty . This was to matter of Fact ; but as to matter of Law , He was to rest in the Opinion of the Judges . Monday , May 10. the King gives Commission to several Lords to Pass two Bills ; One , The Bill of Attainder against the Earl of Strafford . The Other , F●r continuing the Parliament during the pleasure of both Houses . Which last Act was occasioned , for Satisfying the Scots . The next Day the King being troubled about the Earl , writes a Letter to the House of Lords , telling them ; That whereas Justice had been satisfied in his Condemnation , an intermixture of Mercy would not now be unseasonable ; and therefore He desired them , that if it might be done without any Discontent to the People , the Earl might be permitted to fulfil the Natural Course of his Life in close Imprisonment , Sequestred from all Publick Affairs ; provided he never attempted to make an Escape : However He thought it a Work of Charity , to Reprieve him till Saturday . But nothing could be Obtained in Favour of him . The Fall of this Powerful Man , so startled other great Officers of State ▪ that several Resigned their Places . July 5. A Charge was brought into the House of Commons , against Dr. Wren Bishop of Ely , being Accused of Treasonable Misdemeanours in his Diocess . August 6. Both the English and Scotch Armies were Disbanded ; and Four Days after the King went towards Scotland , and was Entertained with great Demonstrations of Affection by that Nation , and Conferred several Places of Honour and Power upon divers of them : He Confirmed likewise the Treaty between the Two Nations , by Act of Parliament . October 23 , 1641. A Horrid and Notorious Rebellion broke out in Ireland , which was in divers Places managed with such Secresie , that it was not Discovered at Dublin till the Night before it was to be put in Execution ; but , in most other Places of the Kingdom , it was carried on with such Fury , That two hundred thousand English Men , Women , and Children , were in a short Space barbarously Murdered . The Irish to Dishearten the English from any Resistance , bragged , That the Queen was with their Army ; That the King would come amongst them also , and Assist them : That they did but maintain His Cause against the Puritans : That they had the King's Com-Commission for what they did . The Lords Justices sent Sir H. Spotswood to the King , then in Scotland , with an Account of all that happened : He dispatched Sir J. Stuart , with Instructions to the Lords of the Privy-Council in Ireland ; and to carry all the Money , his present Stores would supply . He likewise sent an Express to the Parliament of England , ( as being near ) for their Assistance ; but they excused it : And indeed , the Irish pretended that the Scots were in Confederacy with them ; and to seem to Confirm it , they abstained , for some time , from destroying the Estates , or Murdering any of that Nation . And on the other-side , to Encourage the Irish , they produced pretended Letters ; wherein they said , They were Informed from England ; That the Parliament had passed an Act , that all the Irish should be Compelled to the Protestant Worship ; and for the First Offence in refusing , to Forfeit all their Goods ; for the Second , their Estates ; and for the Third , their Lives : And besides this , they presented them with the Hopes of Liberty : That the English Yoak should be shaken off : That they should have a King of their own Nation ; and that then all the Goods and Estates of the English should be divided amongst them . With these Motives of Spoil and Liberty , which were strengthned by the Former , of Religion , the Rebellion was carried on throughout the whole Kingdom . The King being returned out of Scotland , December 2d . Summoned both Houses together , and tells them ; That he had staid in Scotland longer than He expected , yet not fruitlesly ; for He had given full Satisfaction to the Nation ; but cannot choose but take Notice of , and Wonder at the unexpected Distractions He finds at Home ; and then Commends to them the State of Ireland . After which , the Commons Ordered a Select Committee to draw up a Petition and Remonstrance to the King : The One was against the Bishops , and Oppressions in Church-Government ; and for Punishing the Authors of it . In the Other was Contained all the Miscarriages and Misfortunes , since the beginning of His Majesty's Reign . The King Issued out a Declaration , in Answer to the Remonstrance ; the Summ of which was ; That He thought He had given sufficient Satisfaction to his People's Fears and Jealousies , concerning Religion , Liberties , and Civil Interests ; by the Bills which He hath Passed this Parliament : Desiring the Misunderstandings might be removed on either Side ; and that the Bleeding Condition of Ireland might perswade them to Unity , for the Relief of that Unhappy Kingdom . Not long after happened the Insolent Tumults of the London Apprentices at White-Hall , and Westminster . December 28. the King sends a Message to the Lords ; That He would raise ten Thousand Volunteers for Ireland , if the Commons would undertake to Pay them . Sometime after , the King , upon Information , that the Lord Kimbolton , and Five of the House of Commons , viz. Hollis , Sir Arthur Haslerig , Mr. Pim , Mr. Hambden , and Mr. Stroud , had Correspondence with the Scots , and Countenanced the late City-Tumults ; He thereupon Ordered their Trunks , Studies , and Chambers to be Sealed up , and their Persons Seized ; the Former of which was done , but having timely Notice , they went aside : Upon which the Commons , the same Day , Voted high against these Actions of the King. Hereupon the King Charges the Lord Kimbolton , and the Five Members , with several Articles ; and Acquaints both Houses , That He did intend to Prosecute them for High-Treason , ; and required that their Persons might be Secured : And the next Day , the King , Attended with His Guard of Pensioners , and some Hundreds of Gentlemen , went to the House of Commons ; and the Guard staying without , the King , with the Palsgrave , entred the House ; at whose Entrance , the Speaker rises out of the Chair , and the King sitting down therein , views the Houses round , and perceives the Birds He aimed at were flown ; whereupon He tells them , That He came to look for those Five Members , whom He had Accused of High-Treason ; and was resolved to have them , where-ever He found them ; and expected to have them sent to Him , as soon as they should come to the House ; but would not have them think , that this Act of His was any Violation of Parliament . This Act of the King 's was so highly resented by the House , that the next day , Jan. 5. the Commons Voted it a Breach of Priviledge : And Reports were raised in the City , That He intended Violence against the House of Commons ; and came thither with Force , to Murther several Members ; and used threatning Speeches against the Parliament ; with which the City was so possessed , that the Guards and Watches were Set , as if some desperate Assault were to be made upon the City : And Both Houses Adjourned till the Tuesday following ; appointing a Committee , in the mean time , to sit at Guild-Hall , to consider of the most effectual Means for their Security . And then they Published a Declaration , That whosoever shall Arrest any Member of Parliament , by Warrant from the King only , is guilty of the Breach of Priviledges of Parliament : And likewise , That all those who Attended the King , when He came to Demand the Five Members , were guilty of a Traiterous Design against the King and Parliament : That the Proclamation for Apprehending and Imprisoning the said Members , was False , Scandalous , and Illegal ; and not of Validity enough to hinder them from Attending the House : Wherefore , They intreat His Majesty to discover the Names of those Informers , and Evil Councellors ; declaring all such Persons to be Publick Enemies to the State. In the mean time , the Londoners came thronging to Westminster , with Petitions , inveighing Bitterly against some of the Peers ; but especially the Bishops , whom they Affronted as they went to the House : Upon which they were so affrighted , that Twelve Bishops absent themselves from the House of Lords , drawing up a Protestation against all Laws , Orders , Votes , Resolutions and Determinations , as in themselves Null , and of none Effect , which had Passed , or should Pass , during their forced Absence . Presently after which , at a Conference between Both Houses , it was agreed , That this Protestation of the Twelve Bishops , did extend to the deep intrenching on the Fundamental Priviledges , and Being of Parliaments : And , in a short time , they were Accused of High-Treason , Seized , and brought on their Knees at the Lords-Bar : Ten of whom were Committed to the Tower ; and the other Two , in regard of their Age , to the Black-Rod . The King , at this Time , thinking Himself unsafe without a Guard , accepted of the offer of some Gentlemen of the Inns of Court , to be a Guard to Him ; which , instead of Security , was ( by Subtil Men ) made more prejudicial to the King ; by taking this occasion , to raise the Rage and Jealousie of the City against Him : For , at Midnight , there were cries made in the Streets of London , That all the People should rise to their Defence ; for the King , with His Papists , were come to Fire the City , and Cut their Throats in their Beds : The People , by often receiving such Alarms , being terrified from Sleep , the Impressions of those Night-fears lay long upon their Spirits in the Day , and filled them almost with Madness ; of which the King Complained to the Common-Council of London . But the Commons , to obviate this , upon Suspicion of some Design upon their Persons , Petition the King for a Guard , to be Commanded by the Earl of Essex ; of whose Fidelity to the King and State , no question was ever made . This Petition was denied by the King , as not willing to have them too strong ; yet promised to take such Care for their Security from Violence , as He would for the Preservation of Himself and Children . This Answer being unsatisfactory , the City joyns with them ; and in their Common-Council , drew up a Petition , complaining , That the Trade of the City was decayed , to the utter Ruine of the Protestant Religion , and the Lives and Liberties of the Subjects , by the Design of Papists , Foreigners , and Domesticks ( more particularly their fomenting the Irish Rebellion ) by changing the Constable of the Tower , and making Preparation there ; by the Fortifying of White-Hall ; and the King 's late Invasion of the House of Commons : Whereupon they Pray , That , by the Parliament's Advice , the Protestants in Ireland may be Relieved : The Tower to be put into the Hands of Persons of Trust : A Guard appointed for the Safety of the Parliament : And that the Five Members may not be Restrained , nor Proceeded against , but by the Priviledges of Parliament . To their Petition the King returned Answer , That He could not Express a greater sence of Ireland , than He had done : That , meerly to satisfie the City , He had removed a Worthy Person from the Charge of the Tower : And that the Tumults had caused Him to Fortifie White-Hall , for the Security of His own Person : That His going to the House of Commons , was to Apprehend those Five Members for Treason , to which the Priviledges of Parliament could not extend ; and that He would proceed against them no otherwise than Legally . And now such numbers of ordinary People daily gathered about Westminster and White-Hall , that the King ( doubting of their Intentions ) thought fit to withdraw to Hampton-Court ; taking with Him , the Queen , Prince , and Duke of York ; where He and his Retinue , and Guard quickly encreased , by accession of divers of the Gentry . But the next day , the Five Members were Triumphantly Guarded to Westminster , by a great number of Citizens and Sea-men ; with Hundreds of Boats and Barges , with Guns in them , shouting and hallowing as they passed by White-Hall ; and making large Protestations at Westminster , of their constant Adherence and Fidelity to the Parliament . About this time , the Parliament had notice , that the Lord Digby , and Col. Lunsford , were raising Troops of Horse at Kingston , where the County Magazine was lodged : Whereupon they order , That the County Sheriffs , Justices of Peace , and the Trained-Bands , shall take care to secure the Countries , and their Magazines . Lunsford was Seized , and sent to the Tower ; but Digby escaped beyond Sea. The King removed to Royston ; at which time , Sir E. Herbert , Attorny-General , is questioned at the Lords-Bar , to Answer concerning the Articles against the Five Members ; where it had gone hard with him , if the King ( at his earnest Supplication ) had not taken him off , by a Letter to the Lord-Keeper Littleton ; wherein the King clears the Attorny-General , and takes the whole Business upon Himself ; yet concludes , That finding Cause , wholly to desist from Proceeding against the Persons Accused , He had Commanded his Attorny-General to proceed no farther therein , nor to produce nor discover any Proof concerning the same . Jan. 20. The King sends a Message to the Parliament , proposing the Security of his own just Rights , and Royal Authority ; and , That since particular Grievances and Distractions were too many , and would be too great to be Presented by themselves , that They would Comprize and Digest them into one entire Body , and send them to Him : And it should then appear , how ready He would be , to equal or exceed the greatest Examples of the most Indulgent Princes , in their Acts of Grace and Favour to the People . After this , the Commons move the Lords to joyn with them , in Petitioning for the Militia , and the Command of the Tower ; but They not complying , the House of Commons singly of themselves , importune the King , to put those things into the Hands of the Parliament ; as the only available Means , for the removal of their Fears and Jealousies . But the King not willing to part with the Principal Jewels of his Crown , signified to them , That He thought the Militia to be lawfully subject to no Comm●nd but his Own ; and therefore would not let it go out of his Hands : That he had preferred to the Lieutenancy of the Tower , a Person of known Fortune , and unquestionable Reputation ; and that he would Prefer none but such , to the Command of his Forts and Castles : Yet would not intrust the Power of Conferring those Places and Dignities from Himself ; it being derived to Him , from his Ancestors , by the Fundamental Laws of the Kingdom . Yet the Commons would not desist , but again Petitioned ; and were again refused . Soon after , divers Petitions were delivered to the Parliament , against the Votes of Popish Lords and Bishops in the House of Peers ; as One from Suffolk , with 1500 Hands ; Another from London , with 2000 Hands ; and a Third from the City-Dames : To all which were Answered , That the Commons had already endeavoured Relief from the Lords , in their Requests ; and should so continue till Redress were obtained . And shortly after , the Lords Passed the Bill , For disabling all Persons in Holy-Orders , to have any place or Vote in Parliament ; or to exercise any Temporal Jurisdiction . At the same time , they Petition the King again for the Militia , and for clearing Kimbolton , and the Five Members : By his Answer to Both , they understood his Resolution ; Not to trust the Militia out of Himself ; nor to clear the Members , but only by a general Pardon ; which was unsatisfactory . The King now at Hampton-Court , thought fit to send for all his Domestick Servants of either Houses of Parliament ; and particularly , the Earls of Essex and Holland ; but they refused to come . In the mean time , Mr. Pym , at a Conference , complaining of the general flocking of Papists into Ireland ▪ affirmed , That since the Lieutenant had ordered a stop upon the Ports , against all Irish Papists , many of the chief Commanders , now in the head of the Rebels , had been licensed to pass thither , by his Majesty's immediate Warrant . The King was highly offended at this Speech , which He signified to the House ; who , in their Answer to his Message , justifie Mr. Pym's words to be the Sense of the House ; and that they had yet in safe Custody , the Lord Delvin , Sir G. Hamilton , Col. Butler , Brother to the Lord Miniard , now in Rebellion , and one of the Lord Nettervil's Sons : To which the King replies , That he thought Mr. Pym's Speech was not so well grounded , as it ought to have been ; and that the aforementioned Persons had their Passages granted , before he knew of the Parliaments Order of Restraint ; and therefore expected their Declaration for his Vindication from that odious Calumny of Conniving , or underhand Favouring that Horrid Rebellion . But the King's Desire proved fruitless ; for they next moved to have Sir J. Byron turned out , from being Lieutenant of the Tower ; and , at their nomination , Sir J. Coniers Succeeded . They then proceeded to Name fit Persons , for Trust of the Militia , of the several Counties : And , by Act of Parliament , disabled all Clergy-Men from exercising Temporal Jurisdiction : The Commons then drew up a Petition , for Vindicating their Five Members ; wherein they desire the King to send them the Informers against the said Members ; or otherwise , to desert their Prosecution would not suffice ; because the whole Parliament was concerned in the Charge . And then they proceeded to settle the Militia , for the defence of the Parliament , Tower , and City of London , under the Command of Maj. General Skipton , who had formerly been an experienced Soldier in the Low Countries . The King had deferred ▪ His Answer to their Petition , for settling the Militia of the Counties , according to their nomination , till His Return from Dover ; where He took leave of his Wife and Daughter ; and so returned to Greenwich ; from whence He sent to Hampton-Court , for his Two Eldest Sons to come to him ; though contrary to the Mind of the Parliament , who would have disswaded Him from it . The King being now at Greenwich , sends this Answer to the Petition , about the Militia ; That he is willing to condescend to all the Proposals about the Militia of the Counties , and the Persons mentioned , but not of London , and other Corporations ; whose Government , in that particular , he thought it neither Justice nor Policy to alter ; but would not consent to divest Himself of the Power of the County Militia , for an indesinite Time , but for some limited Space . This Answer did not satisfie ; so that the Breach growing every day wider , the King declined these Parts , and the Parliament , and removed to Theobald's ; taking with Him , the Prince , and Duke of York . About the beginning of March , He receives a Petition from the Parliament ; wherein they require the Militia more resolutely than before ; affirming , That in case of denial , the Eminent Dangers would constrain them to dispose of it by the Authority of Parliament ; desiring also , That he would make his Abode near London , and the Parliament ; and continue the Prince at some of his Houses near the City , for the better carrying on of Affairs , and preventing the Peoples Jealousies and Fears . All which being refused ; They presently Order , That the Kingdom be put into a posture of Defence , in such a way as was agreed upon by Parliament ; and a Committee to prepare a publick Declaration from these Heads . 1. The Just Causes of the Fears and Jealousies given to the Parliament ; at the same time clearing themselves from any Jealousies conceived against Himself . 2. To Consider of all Matters arising from his Majesty's Message , and what was fit to be done . And now began our Troubles , and all the Miseries of a Civil-War : The Parliament every day entertaining new Jealousies and Suspicions of the King's Actions ; which , howsoever in Complement , they made shew of imputing only to his Evil Council ; yet obliquely had too great a Reflection on his Person . They now proceed , on a suddain , to make great Preparations both by Sea and Land : And the Earl of Northumberland , Admiral of England , is commanded to Rig the King's Ships , and fit them for Sea : And likewise all Masters and Owners of Ships , were perswaded to do the like . The Beacons were prepared , Sea-Marks set up , and extraordinary Postings up and down with Pacquets ; All sad Prognosticks of the Calamities ensuing . August 22. 1642. The King comes to Nottingham , and there Erects His Standard ; to which , some Numbers resorted ; but far short of what was Expected : And three Days after , the King sends a Message to the Parliament , to propose a Treaty : The Messengers were , the Earls of Southampton and Dorset , Sir John Culpeper , and Sir W. Udal : None of which were suffered to Set in the House , to deliver their Errand ; therefore it was sent in by the Usher of the Black-Rod ; to which the Parliament Answered : That until His Majesty shall recal His Proclamations and Declarations of Treason , against the Earl of Essex , and Them , and their Adherents : And unless the King's Standard , now Set up in pursuance thereof , be taken down , They cannot , by the Fundamental Priviledges of Parliament , give His Majesty another Answer . The King Replies , That He never intended to Declare the Parliament . Traytors , or Set up his Standard against them ; but if they Resolve to Treat , either Party shall Revoke their Declarations against all persons as Traytors ; and the same Day to take down his Standard . To this they Answer ; That the Difference could not any ways be concluded , unless He would forsake his Evil Counsellors , and return to his Parliament . And accordingly , September 6th , They Order and Declare , That the Armswhich they have , or shall take up for the Parliament , Religion , Laws , and Liberties of the Kingdom , shall not be laid down , until the King withdraw his Protection from such Persons as are , or shall be Voted Delinquents , and shall leave them to Justice . The War being now begun , the New-raised Souldiers committed many Outrages upon the Country-people ; which both King and Parliament , upon Complaint , endeavour to Rectifie . The King Himself was now Generalissimo over his Own ; His Captain-General was first , the Marquess of Hartford , and afterwards the Earl of Lindsey ; and the Earl of Essex for the Parliament : The King's Forces received the first Repulse at Hull , by Sir John Hotham , and Sir John Meldrum ; and the King takes up his Quarters at Shrewsbury : Portsmouth was next Surrendred to the Parliament ; and presently after , Sir John Byron takes Worcester for the King : In September , the two Princes Palatines , Rupert and Maurice , Arrived in England ; who were presently Entertained , and put into Command by the King. This uncivil Civil-War was carried on in General , with all the Ruines and Desolations imaginable ; wherein all Bonds of Religion , Alliance , and Friendship , were utterly destroyed : Wherein Fathers and Children , Kindred and Acquaintances , became unnatural Enemies to each other . In which miserable Condition , this Nation continued for near Four Years ; viz. From August the 22d , 1642. ( the Time the King Set up his Standard at Nottingham ) to May the 6th , 1646. ( the time when the King , quitting all Hopes , put Himself into the Protection of the Scotch-Army at Newark : ) During this process of Time , several Messages past , divers Treaties set on foot , and other Overtures of Accommodation ; but all came to no Effect . The War in England being now ( after so much Blood-shed and Ruine ) brought to some End ; the Parliament were at leisure to Dispute with the Scots , concerning the Keeping of the King ; who fearing lest Fairfax should fall upon them , and compel them to Deliver Him up , Retreated further Northwards , towards New-Castle : The Parliament sent an Invitation to the Prince of Wales , to come to London , with promise of Honour and Safety ; but He did not think fit to venture . The King sends from New-castle to the Army , about a Treaty ; and the House of Commons Vote , That the King ' s Person should be demanded of the Scots ; and that their whole Army return home , upon Receipt of part of their Arrears ; the rest to be sent after them : And a Committee is appointed to Treat with the Scotch Commissioners , about drawing up Propositions to be sent to the King ; wherein much Time was spent in Wrangling ; whilst the English deny the Scots to have any Right in the Disposal of the King of England ; and the Scots as stifly alledged , He was their King , as much as of the English ; and they had as good Right to Dispose of the King in England , as the English could Challenge in Scotland : But at last they agreed on Sixteen General Propositions , which were presented to the King at New-castle , July the 27. 1646. But these Propositions were such , that the King did not think fit to Comply withal . The Scots General Assembly sent a Remonstrance to the King , Desiring Him to settle Matters in England , according to the Covenant , &c. But all this could not prevail ; and therefore the Scots , who had hitherto so sharply Disputed about the Disposal of the King's Person , are Content upon the Receipt of Two hundred thousand Pounds , to depart Home , and leave the King in the Power of the Parliament ; who Voted Him to Holmby-House , and sent their Commissioners to receive Him from the Scots at Newcastle : To whom , February the 8th , 1646 ▪ He was accordingly Delivered ; and the Scots returned home . Feb. the 8th , the King sets forward with the Commissioners for Holmby , and after a Fortnight , came to His Journeys-end ; being met by the way by General Fairfax , and many of his Officers . Some Petitions from Essex , and other Places , are Presented to the Parliament ; inveighing against the Proceedings of the Army , which much vexed the Souldiers , who sharply Apologize for themselves . And now the Army , to the great Terror of the Parliament , March towards London , and came as far as St. Alban's ; notwithstanding a Message from Both Houses , not to come within Twenty Five Miles of the City ; which the General excused , saying , That the Army was come thither before they received the Parliament's Desire : And here he obtains a Month's Pay : The Parliament Vote , That the General be required to deliver the Person of the King to the former Commissioners , who were to bring him to Richmond , that Propositions of Peace might be speedily Presented to His Majesty ; and that Collonel Rossiter , and his Regiment , might Guard His Person . The Army being much ▪ behind-hand in Arrears , Petition the Parliament ; who , upon consideration , order them some Money , at the present ; and then drew up Propositions of Peace to be sent to the King at Hampton-Court ; the same in substance with those offered at New-Castle , and had the like effect : The business of Episcopacy being always the main Objection , which the Parliament were resolved to Abolish ; and the King preferring That , before all other Respects , would rather lose All , than consent thereunto . The Scots Commissioners send a Letter , Novemb. 6. 1647. to the Speaker of the House of Commons , and require , That the KING may be admitted to a Personal Treaty ; or at least , That He should not be carried from Hampton-Court violently , but that Commissioners of Both Parliaments may freely pass to and from Him , to Treat for the Settlement of the Kingdom . After which , divers Messages past between the King and the Parliament ; and several Conferences and Treaties were set on Foot , particularly that of Heuderson's ; but they proving fruitless , the Parliament , with most of the Officers of the Army , that joyned with them , brought the KING to Tryal , by a Judicature of their own setting-up , which proved His Ruine . FINIS . 
A54795	----	Sportive vvit the muses merriment, a new spring of lusty drollery, joviall fancies, and a la mode lamponnes, on some heroic persons of these late times, never before exposed to the publick view / collected for the publick good by a club of sparkling wits, viz. C.J., B.J., L.M., W.T., cum multis alsis---- This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A54795 of text R36677 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing P2113). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 222 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 111 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A54795 Wing P2113 ESTC R36677 15869376 ocm 15869376 104656 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A54795) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 104656) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1154:19) Sportive vvit the muses merriment, a new spring of lusty drollery, joviall fancies, and a la mode lamponnes, on some heroic persons of these late times, never before exposed to the publick view / collected for the publick good by a club of sparkling wits, viz. C.J., B.J., L.M., W.T., cum multis alsis---- Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [22], 132 p. Printed for Nath. Brook ..., London : 1656. Attributed by Wing to John Phillips. Preface signed: J.P. Reproduction of original in the Huntington Library. eng A54795 R36677 (Wing P2113). civilwar no Sportive vvit: the muses merriment. A new spring of lusty drollery, joviall fancies, and a la mode lamponnes, on some heroic persons of thes Phillips, John 1656 36946 361 0 0 0 0 0 98 D The rate of 98 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion SPORTIVE VVIT : THE MUSES MERRIMENT . A NEW SPRING OF Lusty Drollery , Ioviall Fancies , AND A la mode Lamponnes , On some Heroick persons of these late Times , Never before exposed to the publick view . Collected for the Publick good , by a Club of sparkling Wits , viz. C. I. B. I. L. M. W. T. Cum multis aliis — . Semel in anno ridet Apollo . LONDON , Printed for Nath : Brook , to be sold at the Angel in Cornhill , and at the New Exchange and other places . 1656. TO THE TRVLY NOBLE , RALPH BANKS , Esq. Honoured Sir , WHen I resolv'd to addresse these Curiosities to your self , there was nothing which more emboldned me than your owne Ingenuity and worth , which I speak not after the common strain of Epistles Dedicatory , but in confirmation of a Truth well knowne to many . As for the Book it self , I may give it this character , that is containes Fancies as happy as the Muses could infuse into the choicest of our English Wits , and so order'd , as not to distast the most serious , yet to be as blithe and merry as youth it self could expect . And therefore if you are pleased to look favourably on it , and to bid it welcome , I doubt not but it will live securely under your name , not a little to the honour of him , who desires to profess himself , SIR , Your most obedient Servant . J. P. To the Reader . Jovial Readers , BY your leave room for such Wit as your Friends and sparkling Canary presents you with : you have it from persons who entertained no serious thoughts , or notions at that time . 'T is sufficient , that this small volume hath been before a lawfull Iudicature : and certainly it cannot but be the better thought of , in regard it hath been too severely dealt withall ; for Gold , though it be the richest production of the Sun , is very often expos'd to the Touch-stone . Such a triall have every one of these Copies endur'd . And believe it Reader , it hath passed the Verdict of a Grand Iury : The truth is , there formerly came forth a Book intituled Wit and Drollery , which contained so many refined Fancies , that had not this appeared , it might ( for things of that nature ) have given a full satisfaction to the curious . But since we have made so noble and so large a discovery , I hope , Reader , thou wilt not be angry that we have not been Concealers , and Hoarders of our wealth . For to deale plainly with thee , Reader , the publishers had no designes beyond thy pleasure , their owne reputation , and the continuation of their sprightly Club . Onely be pleased , courteou● Reader , to understand , that some friends of Sir John Mennis , and D. J. S. have already taken notice , how these worthy persons are likely to suffer by Copies , to which their names are shortly to be affixed : Papers onely to be protested against ; and indeed those who knew those Gentlemen , can assure the Reader , that hitherto they never allowed of the publishing of their Copies , nor will ever descend so much from their own prerogative , as to own those which they never wrote . Neither have we such a dearth of other Wits , there are other ingenuous persons in our little World of Britain , more youthfull , as familiar and joviall with the Muses as ever they were , and such as when they please to be right Drollers , can be as little in love as they , such as are resolved never to study Romances , or to be guilty of the false praises of women . You may meet with severall Pamphlets , Reader , but consider whether they be not rak'd from the simple collections of Short hand prentices . Of these surreptitious Editions there is no end ; and if such trifles are allowed , we shall see Ballads inserted shortly , to as much dishonour of our English Wit , as if Don's Poems were turned into Dutch . The onely misfortune , as when meere Rimers , and such like pittifull Gleaners of the scraps of Wit , shall , like Marsyas , pretend to play with Apollo . Ingenuous Reader , this volume is exposed to thy cleare censure ; onely take notice , if you can finde out a Christian , and Sirname by the letters in the Title , as they are placed , you will do little lesse than devine . These particulars I had order to acquaint you with from the Club of Wits , Remaining , Your unfeigned friend in NECTAR . The Dunners Dance . 1. WIll you hear the mode of France , To stop the mouthes of all that dun you ? Onely lead them in a dance , Though you be behinde in money . 2. If your Creditor do call To pay for diet , wine , or rayment ; In your dance keep time withal , But forget it in your payment . 3. If your Taylor chance to strike you With his Bill that stays no leasure ; Pay him with a dance , he 'll like you , And in stead of coyn , take measure . 4. If your Shoo-maker come on , Turn your measure , quickly lead it ; Let that everlasting Dun See his own Boots nimbly tread it . 5. If your Lawyer seek you out For Fees for this advice or t' other ; Make him dance , for all his Gout , And pay one Motion with another . 6. But if your Landlady do want , You needs must satisfie her pleasure : She despiseth your Corant ; She 'll be paid in standing measure . 7. Thus we do despise all care , And thus we skip through all disasters ; That all the world cannot declare , But we are nimble quick day-masters . A CATCH . 1. THe Black Jack , the merry Black Jack , As it is toss'd on high-a ; Grows , Flows , Till at last they fall to blows , And makes their noddles cry-a . 2. The Brown Bowl , the merry Brown Bowl , As it goes round about-a , Fill Still , Let the world say what it will ; And drink your drink all out-a . 3. The Deep Can , the merry Deep Can , As thou dost freely quaff-a ; Sing , Fling ; Be as merry as a King , And sound a lusty Laugh-a . The Bulls feather . IT chanc'd not long ago , as I was walking , An eccho did bring me to where two were talking : 'T was a man said to his wife , Die had I rather , Then to be cornuted , and wear the Bulls feather . Then presently she reply'd , Sweet , art thou jealous ? Thou canst not play Vulcan before I play Venus : Thy f●ncies are foolish , such follies to gather : There 's many an honest man has worn the Bulls feather . Though it be invisible , let no man it scorn , Though it be a new feather made of an old horn : He that disdains it in heart or minde either , May be the more subject to wear the Bulls feather . He that lives discontent , or in despair , And feareth false measure , because his wife 's fair : His thoughts are inconstant , much like winter-weather Though one or two want it ▪ he shall have a feather . Bulls feathers are common as Ergo in Schools , And onely contemned by those that are ●ools : Why should a Bulls feather cause any unrest , Since neighbours fare always is counted the best ? Those women fairest , are likely'st to give it ; And husbands that have them , are apt to believe it . Some men though their wives should seem for to tedder , They would play the kinde neighbour , and give the Bulls feather . Why should we repine that our wives are so kinde , Since we that are husbands , are of the same minde ? Shall we give them feathers , and think to go free ? Believe it , believe it , that hardly will be . For he that disdains my Bulls feather to day , May light of a Lass that will play him foul play . There 's ne'er a proud Gallant that treads on Cows leather , But he may be cornuted , and wear the Bulls feather . Though Beer of that brewing I never did drink , Yet be not displeas'd if I speak what I think : Scarce ten in a hundred , believe it , believe it , But either they 'll have it , or else they will give it . Then let me advise all those that do pine , For fear that false Jealousie shorten their time ; That disease will torment them worse then any Fever : Then let all be contented , and wear the Bulls feather . Close-Stool and Chamber-pot chuse out a Doctor . A Lampoun . 1. LAdies all , glad ye ; here comes Doctor Paddy , So good at a woman's Glyster : Whatere be her grief , he 'll give her relief , If once he have but kist her . 2. And kiss her he might ; for he was a Knight , And a valiant man at Arms : He never drew blood , but for the parties good ; And then he was paid for his harms . 3. But Doctor Foster is but an impostor , For all his exceeding great pains : And Doctor Poe , the world doth know , Is best for the running o' th'Reins . 4. And Doctor Turner full many a mourner By Chymistry hath made : He first kills the man , and then treads the hen : Oh this is an excellent trade ! 5. Yet Doctor Davis the very'st knave is Of all that ever did practice : And the Bull of the town , in the Taffata-gown ; Whose name I take to be Atkis . 6. And Doctor Langford , although I hang for 't , I 'll have a sling at your Jacket : Though you ride in a Cart , for your Bridewel-desert , Yet your hand is in each womans placket . 7. For Doctor Mumfort , to your great comfort , For ought that ever I heard ▪ You are an honest man , as a Physician can , For one that hath a red beard . A SONG . 1. Come , Sweet , and draw the Curtain round , That we may meet where pleasures do abound ; Come , throw thine arms about me , And I will embrace thee , O thou Myrrour of delight . 2. Oh it bubbles in my veins , Casteth forth such a froth Worth thy beauties and thy pains ; Where none shall see but mee , None shall feel but thee : Leave off whining , Let 's be sw — Sweet , agree , agree . 3. See how th' inviting Balm bedews Her belly white , that like to iv'ry shews , Oh , I cannot hold ; I must and will be bold : Kiss then , and put out the light , 4. Oh it comes , it comes amain Up this lane to my brain , And distilleth down again : Fix it there , and let it be Almost a Tympany . Leave thy whining ; Night 's declining : Sweet , agree , agree . A SONG . LOve , I must tell thee , I 'll no longer be A Victim to thy beardless deity : Nor shall this heart of mine ▪ now 't is return'd , Be offer'd at thy shrine ▪ nor at thine altar burn . Love , like R●ligion 's made an airy name , To awe those souls whom want of wit m●kes tame : There 's no such thing as Quiver , Shaft , or Bow ; Nor does Love wound , but we imagine so : Or if it does perplex and grieve the minde , 'T is the poor masc'line sex ; women no sorrow finde : 'T is not our parts or persons that can move 'em Nor is 't mens worth , but wealth , makes women love 'em . Reason , not Love , henceforth shall be my guide : Our fellow creatures sha'nt be deifi'd . I 'll now a rebel be , and so pull down The Distaff-Hierarchy , or females fancy'd Crown . In these unbridled times , who would not strive To free his neck from all prerogative ? Cartwright's Song of Dalliance ; Never printed before . Heark , my Flora ; Love doth call us To that strife that must befal us : He has rob'd his mothers Myrtles , And hath pull'd her downy Turtles . See , our genial posts are crown'd , And our beds like billows rise ; Softer combat 's nowhere found , And who loses , wins the prize . Let not dark nor shadows fright thee ; Thy limbs of lus●re they will light thee : Fear not any can surprise us , Love himself doth now disguise us . From thy waste thy girdle throw : Night and darkness both dwell here : Words or actions who can know , Where there 's neither eye nor ear ? Shew thy bosome , and then hide it ▪ License touching , and then chid● it : Give a grant , and then forbear it : Offer something , and forswear it : Ask where all our shame is gone ; Call us wicked wanton men : Do as Turtles , kiss and groan ; Say , We ne'er shall meet again . I can hear thee curse , yet chase thee ; Drink thy tears , yet still embrace thee ▪ Easie riches is no treasure : She that 's willing , spoils the pleasure . Love bids learn the restless fight , Pull and struggle whilst ye twine● Let me use my force to night , The next corquest shall be thine . NARCISSVS . A Song . 1. AS I was walking I cannot tell how , Nor I cannot tell whither nor where ; I met with a crew of I cannot tell who , Nor I cannot tell what they were : But Virgins I think ; for they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 2. They sung a fine Song , of I cannot tell what , Nor whether in Verse or Prose : Nor knew I the meaning , although they all sate Even as it were under my nose . But ever and anon they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 3. There came in a Lad from I cannot tell whence , With I cannot tell what in his hand : It was a live thing that had little sense ; But yet it could lustily stand . Then louder the Ladies they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 4. Some shak'd it , some stroak'd it , some kiss'd it , 't is said , It look'd so lovely indeed : All hug'd it as honey , and none were afraid , Because of their bodily need . And louder these Ladies they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 5. At length he did put in this pretty fine Toy In I cannot tell where below ; Into one of the Ladies , but I cannot tell why Nor wherefore it should be so . But in the mean time they all cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 6. But when these Ladies had sported all night , And rifl'd Dame Nature's store ; And tired themselves in Venus delight , That they could hardly do more : Yet louder these Ladies they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 7. This Lad being tired , began to retreat , And hung down his head like a flower●● The Ladies the more did desire the seat , But alas 't was out of his power . Then louder and louder they cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . 8. I then did return I cannot tell how , Nor what was in my minde : Nor what else I heard , I know not , I vow , Nor saw I : for Cupid is blinde : But that these Ladies still cry'd , Narcissus , come kiss us , and love us beside . A SPEECH . You may suppose he hath made his leg , and then he speaks . TO you , grave Speakers , and the rest beside , Grace from above , and peace be multiplide . What do you lack ? Petitions we have brought One worth the notice , plentifully frought With Characters of understanding hands , Whose Consciences are all at your commands . What though some could not write ? yet I dare promise They 've made a G. for Iohn , an L. for Thomas . As for my self , their Fore-man , and their Speaker , I would not now be taken for a Sneaker . If I my place and dignity may rent , I Am one of th' honourable four and twenty . 'T is known , I stroak my beard , and wear my gown So understandingly , that all the Town Admire my gravity : and here 's my brother W — for all the world just such another : But he , I fear , did long since change his name , Because there is a Bishop wears the same . That Antichristian Calling 't is that grieves us , From whom we beg your goodness to relieve us : For since these are the great Abomination Of Frogs and Locusts in the Revelation , Sound each of these , you 'll finde a Pope in 's belly , As plain as you may smell a T. from Jelly . This — Cause hath made us raise an Army Of Supplicants , whose troops I hope will charm ye To yeeld your helps ; and 't is a pious work , To bring the English to the Scotish Kirk . Or now , or never , lend your aids , to twist Out of their throats these Imps of Antichrist . It glads my heart , to think our sage advice Hath stickled first , to break this holy Ice . Observe as well the Leaders , as Retinue ; And if you have or wit or judgement in you , You can conceive no less , but that the Prelats Must have a knock from us true Scotish Zealots . For my particular , the chief combiner , I am , if 't please your Worships , the Refiner ; And hope you 'll not condemn me for a Widgeon , Who took upon me to refine Religion . My brother Alderman he trades in Drugs , And can assure you that there 's Romish B●gs Trick'd up in Rockets : and such odde devices Smell very strongly of Italian spices . Ghess at our troops , when we that go before um May for our understandings be o' th' Quorum . The first that march i' th' Vanguard of Complainers Are Shoo-makers , stil'd otherwise Cordwainers ; Who albeit but of indiff'rent fashion , Yet sure they 're men of upright conversation : May they have liberty , they 'll tell you plain , They hold the Bishops Papishes in grain . There 's ne'er a man in all this zealous bunch , But fain would have their Lordships feel his punch● However matters heretofore have past , They hope Religion will tread right at last . The next Subscribers to this learn'd Epistle , Though low , yet , they are yeomen of the Bristle , Coblers inspir'd , a crew that daily mends , And hope ▪ ere long , to bring about their ends : They 'll have ( nor will their zeal one ace be ' bated ) The Prelats underlaid , or else translated . Next the report proclaim them all deceivers , We have a band of honest-handed Weavers : Nor can you deem them Shuttle-headed fellows , Who for the Law are so exceeding zealous : They from the bottom of their hearts defie The massie Beams that blinde the Churches eye . And those whom you see standing three and three , Go strait at heart , though bending at the knee ; They 're Jaylors all , who swear 't is not their pleasure The Church should be tormented with hard measures Their knuckles shew you what a mighty Itch They have to gather up the Clergie stitch . I need not tell you who these are that follow ; The nose informs you that they smell of tallow : And Chandlers though they be , they 're quick enough To take such foul indignities in snuff : They pray that ere the — be ended , The blinking Lights o' th' Church may be amended ; And they may Cotton so , that they in peace Henceforth on Holy-days may melt their greace : And that you 'll nimble be , they do not doubt it , Nor cast away too many weeks about it . Please you to v●ew these following partakers , The sundry dozens of our two-eat'd Bake●s ; ' Mo●gst whom are some that never sprung from Jolt-head , Who swear 't is sit the — should be new bolted : Though some sift catalogues and mouldy Rouls I' th' Prelates cause , they 're but unleven'd souls , Whose weal●h & state ( the crust must ne'er be spared ) But by Authority be clipt and pared . These Rolles you see stick here like sutty sinners , Next on the paper are sharp-pointed Pinners : They 're prickt at heart , that some new bold & dreadless , Are not , like their cast wa●e , bow'd & made headless . Those joyn'd to t●ese , in this so pious labour , You may behold a candid Troop of Haber - Dashers , who just as wise as all the rest , Do humbly crave the — may be new drest ; And trust to see the Prelates , those proud limbs Of Antichrist , cut narrower in the brims . In brief , the very Porters and the Dray-men Affirm that all will ne'er be well , till Lay-men Be joyn'd to th' — . Nay more , the Broom-men see some Necessity of a Reforming Beesome , To sweep — house . The Comb-men they determine The Teeth of Justice must scratch out this Vermine . Here 's fifteen hundred hands , a goodly number ; Which we could double , but we 're loth to cumber Our selves with all these Tinkers , Tanne●s Cu●●iers , Upholsters Sadlers , Cutlers B●●bers Furriers , Fishmongers , Painters , Fullers ▪ Dyets Soap men , Perfumers Blacksmiths , Turners ▪ Botchers Roap-men And millions more of such good souls , all last week Attended on old Burton , Prynne and Bastwick . Our Suit 's so reasonable and just , we kn●w You 'll quickly yeeld , and never say us no . First , down with — an ungodly Fry ▪ You may at leasure yeeld the reason why . Then fall upon Cathedrals , and their Deans , That honest Courtiers may increase their means . The feat once done , you 'll see the minor Clergie Soon forc'd with ease to sing ● doleful D●rg●e . Great Livings are not fit for men o' th' Letter ; To w●ild si●e pretty Pensions would be b●●ter . The way of Truth 's all one ; nor can we learn More ●●ofit in a — than in a Barn : And far more fruitfully do we receive it From some well-tutor'd twenty Nobl'd Levit Shall mounted on a stool demurely utter Smoothe pleasing do●●rine , smoothe as oil or bu●●es , Then if some rough-hewn fellow not behold●ng To our benevolence , shall fall a scolding I' th' open streets , and saucily inveigh 'Gainst crimes which are familiar in our way , And such as we may wink at for our profit , Nor is it fit that they should tell us of it : There 's proper liberty indeed : much fitter I Conceive Geneva's reverent Presbytery ; When some of us , whom they may think — builders , Shall rule the roast , and be appointed Elders : And then if busie fellows be so idle To talk their wills , we 'll help them to a bridle . On Tobacco . 1. WHen I do smoak my nose with a pipe of Tobacco after a feast , Then down let I my hose , and with paper do wipe mine — like a beast . It so doth please my minde , It doth so ●ase behinde , For to wipe , For to wipe my ●ewel . Tobacco 's my delight , So 't is mine to sh — Oh fine smack , Oh brave ●ack my jewel . 2. Tobacco onely can draw the vapours down from my troubled brain ; And from the bashful Pan vapours rise 'twixt my thighs to my nose again . Five Pipes I have devour'd , Five Pans I have deflowr'd full of fume , Full of fume down flurting ; And yet I would have more , And yet I have great store . 3. Tobacco is a dish for an Earl , for a Lord , for a Knight , for a Squire : Than shiting who can wish greater , if you please , or occasion require ? Tobacco 's a fine thing , But shiting 's for a King ; for the brains , For the pains of the belly . Tobacco who despise ? Then shiting who denies ? None , I think ; Though I stink , I tell ye . 4. When I puff it through my nose , I do make Fly such flakes , I do mock the clouds : When my arse to close-stool goes , mark how I rap thunder-claps aloud . My smoak doth dark the sun , My raps out-roar a gun : Oh that fart , how it rattles ! This Pipe more I 'll pull , This Pan I 'll shite more full : So good-night , We will shite out the battle . 5. My nose , mine arse , doth blew , doth throw Firy puffs , counter-buff , from my jaw : My nose , mine arse or doth blow , or doth throw Firy puffs , counter-buffs from my maw . My nose hath made an end , Mine arse and he are friends : He 'll not j●st ; He 'll be kist , but in spite not : My ●ose will no more puff ▪ Mine arse hath shit enough : Give ' , some drink , we shall P●nk , if we wipe not . A Lampoun . HEre 's a Health to good Queen Mary , we 'll have it ere we part ; And to King Charles her husband ; I 'll pledg't with all my heart . Here 's a Health to my Lady Mary , for whom I 'll spend my heart ; And to the Prince her brother , and to the Duke of York . Here 's a Health to my Lady Dutchess , that loves red hair so well ; And to my Lord her husband , that made her belly swell . Here 's a Health to my Lady Dorset , that rules the Royal twig ; And to my Lord her husband , and his great Periwig . Here 's a Health to my Lady Caernarvan , that 's a pearl in each mans eye ; And to my Lord her husband , that can both swear and lye . Here 's a Health to my Lady Rich , that looks so like a Witch ; And to my Lord her husband , that can't endure the switch . Here 's a Health to my Lady Kent , that hath a bounsing C — ▪ And to my Lord her husband . that tickl'd my Lady Hunt. Here 's a Health to my Lady of Newport , that can both sing and dance ; And to my Lord her husband , that 's run away to France . Here 's a Health to my Lady Denby , as sweet as Sugar-candy ; And to my Lord her husband , that little Jack-a-dandy , Here 's a Health to my Lady Wimbleton , but fifteen years of age ; And to my Lord her husband , that 's jealous of his Page . Here 's a Health to my Lady Holland , of all women the best ; And to my Lord her husband , that goes so neatly drest . Here 's a Health to my Lady Goring , whose — lies a cooling ; And to my Lord her husband , that got his means by fooling . Here 's a Health to my Lady Pembrook , And so I 'll end my Song ; And to my Lord her husband , that never did man wrong . On a precise Woman . ONe came to Court a wench ; she was precise , And by the spirit did the flesh despise : One mov'd a secret Match betwixt them two ; But she in sooth and sadness would not do . He did reply , So sweet and fair as she , Made of the stuff all other women be , Ought by the law of woman to be kinde , And shew her self to bear a woman's minde . Well , Sir , quoth she , you men do so prevail , With cunning speeches , and a pleasant tale : 'T is but a folly to be over-nice : You shall ; but twenty shillings is my price : If you a brace of Angels will bestow , Come such a time , and I am for you . So He took leave then , and with her husband met ; Told him , by Law he was to pay a debt , Intreating him to do so good a deed As lend him twenty shillings at his need . Which very readily he did extend ; And th' other willing on his wife to spend , So taking leave of him , he went his ways , Meeting his Creditor within few days , And told him , Sir , I was at home to pay The twenty shillings which you lent last day ; And with your wife , because you were not there , I left it : pray you with my boldness bear . 'T is well , quoth he , I 'm glad I did you pleasure . So coming home , questions his wife at leasure : I pray , Sweet-heart , was such a man with thee , To pay two Angels which he had of me ? She blush'd , and said he had been there indeed : But you did ill to lend : husband , take heed ; It is not good to trust before you try . Pray lend no more : for it may breed some strife , To have such knaves come home to pay your wife . The Drunkard's Song . WHen I go to revel in the night . The Brewers dogs my brains do bite ; My head is too heavie , and my heels are too light : And I like my humour well , well ; And I like my humour well . With ipse he I line my head ; My Hostess 's Cellar is my bed . The world 's our own when the devil 's dead : And I like my humour well , well , &c. Then I fall to talking of the Court , Or about the taking of some Fort ; And I swear a lye for a true report : And I like my humour well , well , &c , Now from the Wars I came I swear How I made a fellow die for fear ; How many I kill'd , that I ne'er came near : And I like my humour well , well , &c. If my Hostess bids me pay the Score , I 'll stand if I can , and call her Whore ; Or stumble and reel out of the door : And I like my humour well , well ▪ &c. The cape of my Cloak hangs all a one side ; My hat band 's lost ▪ and my hose are untide ; My heels on the ground begin for to slide : And I like my humour well , well , &c. Then justle with every post I meet ; I kick the dunghills about the street ; I trample the kennels under my feet ▪ And I like my humour well , well &c. The Constable then I curse and ban : He bids me stand , if I be a man ; And I tell him he bids me do more then I can : And I like my humour well , well , &c. If I fall to the ground , the Watch-men see ; They ask me if I foxed be : I tell them 't is my humility : And I like my humour well , well , &c. If I chance to justle with a Taylors stall , My nose to the ground doth catch a fall : We kiss and be friends , and so we part all : And I like my humour well , well , &c. When I come home , my wife will scold ; It is my patience makes her bold ; She 'll rail the more , if I bid her hold : And I like my humour well , well , &c. When I go to bed , I lose my way , Forgetting where my cloathes I lay : I call for drink , before it is day : And I like my humour well , well ; And I like my humour well . A Shepherd fallen in love . A Pastoral SONG : With the Answer . CLoris , since thou art fled away , Amyntas sheep are gone astray , And all the joys he took to see His pretty Lambkins follow thee , They 're gone , they 're gone ; and he alway Sings nothing now , but Well-a-day , well-a●day . Th' embroyder'd Scrip he us'd to wear , Neglected lies , so doth his hair : His Crook broke , his Dog howling lies , While he laments with woful cries , Oh Cloris , Cloris , I decay , And forced am to cry , Well-a-day , well-a-day . His Oaten Pipe whereon he plays So oft to his sweet Roundelays , Is flung away , and not a Swain Dares sing or pipe within his plain : 'T is death for any one to say One word to him , but Well-a-day , well-a-day . The way wherein her dainty feet In even measure us'd to meet , Is broken down ; and no content Came neer Amyntas since she went : For all that ere I heard him say , Was Cloris , Cloris , well-a-day , well-a-day . On the ground whereon she us'd to tread , He ever since hath laid his head ; Still breathing forch such pining woes , Tha● not one blade of grass there grows . Ah Cloris , Cloris , come away , And hear Amyntas well-a-day , well-a-day . The Answer . Cloris , since thou art gone astray , Amyntas Shepherd 's fled away ; And all the joys he wont to spye I' th' pretty babies of thine eye , Are gone ; and she hath nought to say , But who can help what will away , will away ? The Green on which it was her chance To have her hand first in a dance , Among the merry Maiden-crue , Now making her nought but sigh and ruo The time she ere had cause to say Ah , who can help what will away , will away ? The Lawn with which she wont to deck And circle in her whiter neck ; Her Apron lies behinde the door ; The strings wo'nt reach now as before : Which makes her oft cry well-a-day : But who can help what will away ? He often swore that he would leave me , Ere of my heart he could bereave me : But when the Signe was in the tail He knew poor Maiden flesh was frail ; And laughs now I have nought to say , But who can help what will away ? But let the blame upon me lie ; I had no heart him to denie : Had I another Maidenhead , I 'd lose it ere I went to bed : For what can all the world more say , Than who can help what will away ? A Lampoun . HEav'ns bless King Iames our joy , And Charles his Baby ; Great George , our brave Vice-roy , And his fair Lady ; Old Bedlam Buckingham , And her Lady-keeper : She looks well to Huckingham , He 's the — sweeper . These are they bear the sway In Court and City ; And yet few do them love , The greater 's the pity . The young Lady Marchioness , And Lady Fielding : Kate for her worth heav'ns bless , Sue for her yielding . Ned Villers hath a wife , And she 's a good one : Butler leads an ill life , Yet she 's o' th' blood one ▪ These are they bear the sway In Court and Citie ; And yet grace in each place , Else were it pitie . Cranfield , I 'll make a vow , He 'll not be partial : Nan was us'd you know how , By the Earl Mar●ial . The Horn of Honour , fool , She hath exalted . Tell no tales out of School , Lest thou be palted . These are they bear the sway And keep the money ; Which he may better do , Than his wife's — Old Abbot Anthony Thinks he hath well done , In leaving Sodomy , To marry Sheldon . She hath a buttock plump , Keep but thy T — whole : She will hold up the rump With her black A — hole . These are they bear the sway In Court and City ; Yet next Spring he will sing The Cuckolds ditty . Young Viscount Fielding too He 's a good-fellow : Yet mad Tom Compton's blue Nose looketh yellow . Will : has a better way ; He can endure all : What need Tom care a straw ? Lincoln can cure all . These are they bear the sway , And are most busie : They will sup all the cup , Till their brain 's dizzie . Young Compton might have had Wives by the dozen ; Yet the fond fool was mad For George's cozen . Maxwel swore by his saul , He 's not be hindred : They get the Dee'l and all , That swive the kindred . These are they bear the sway All this Isle over : There is no greater fool Then the fond lover . Kit was almost forgot ; Damport had hid him : They two were at the pot , Whilst Ray o'er-rid him : For all his elbow stood Butchin with Sherry , Crying thus : Bleed good blood : Hang wives ; be merry . These are they spend the day In drink and swiving : Gentle Kit , learn more wit , then go a wiving . The Minstrel was an ass , And liv'd by scraping : His lustie kindred was Not worth the japing : And now in number sure They can't come near us , We are so chaste and pure , Hell need not fear us . These are they bear the sway Of Court and City ; And yet few love them , though Greater 's the pity . Hark how the Waggons crack With their rich lading : Doll comes home with her pack ; She 's fit for trading . Phil will no longer stay With her bare baby : What will the people say , When she 's a Lady ? These are they must away ; Who dares deny it ? Will you an Office get , Thus you must come by it . A SONG . CVpid , Cupid , makes men stupid ; I 'll no more of such boys play : I delight to sport all night , and then to change my love next day . Read the story of Iove's glory , how the wanton gods above Caus'd more wonder than is thunder , with their often change of love . Custom covers constant Lovers with a false pretended praise : Dido di'd in height of pride : then farewel Dido and her Bays . Mortal eyes are not so wise ; the gods have made mens hearts more faint : One denying causeth dying : is not Love a gallant Saint ? Maids be so wise , and so precise , as not to stand still at a stay ; But let it go , the thing you know , and do not stay what will away . Ralph Sleigh . The Song of the Caps . THe Wit hath long beholding been Unto the Cap , to keep it in : Let now the Wit flie out amain , With praise to quit the Cap again . The Cap that owns the highest part , Obtain'd that place by due desert : For any Cap , whatere it be , Is still the Signe of some Degree . The Cap doth stand , each man can show , Above a Crown , but Kings below : The Cap is neerer heav'n than we ; A greater signe of Majestie : When off the Cap we chance to take , Both head and feet obeysance make . For any Cap , &c. The Monmouth-cap , the Saylors Thrum , And th●t wherein the Saylors come : The Physi●k Law , the Cap divine , The same that crowns the Muses nine : The cap that Fools do countenance ; The goodly cap of Maintenance : And any Cap , &c. The Sickly cap , both plain and wrought ; The Fudling cap , however brought : The quilted , furr'd ; the Velvet Sattin . For which so many pates learn Latin ; The Crewel-cap , the Fustian pate , The Periwig , a cap of late : And any Cap , &c. The Souldiers that the Monmouth wear , On Castle-tops their Ensignes rear : The Saylors with their thrum do stand O● higher place than all the land : The Trades-man's cap aloft is born , By ' vantage of ( some say ) a horn . Thus any Cap , &c. The Physick's cap to dust may bring , Without control , the greatest King : The Lawyers cap hath heav'nly might , To make a crooked cause aright ; Which being round and endless , knows To make as endless any cause . Thus any Cap , &c. Both East and West , and North and South , Where ere the Gospel findes a mouth , The Cap divine doth th●ther look , The Square like Scholars and their book : The rest are round , but this is square , To shew that they more stable are ▪ Thus any Cap , &c. The Motley man a cap doth wear , That makes him fellow for a Peer : And 't is no slender part of wit , To act a Fool where great men sit : But Oh the cap of London-town , I wis 't is like the Gyants crown . Thus any Cap , &c. The Sick-man's cap , not wrought with silk , Is like repentant , white as milk . When hats in Church drop off in haste , This cap ne'er leaves the head uncas't . The Sick-mans cap , if wrought , can tell , Though he be ill , his state is well . Thus any Cap , &c. The Fudling cap , God Bacchus might , Turns night to day , and day to night : Yet Spe●ders it prefers to more , By seeing double all their store . The furr'd and quilted cap of age ▪ Can make a mouldy Proverb sage . Thus any Cap , &c. Though Fustian caps be slender wear , The head is of no better gear : The Crewel cap is knit like hose , For them whose zeal takes cold i' th' nose ; Whose purity doth judge it meet To clothe alike both head and feet . This Cap would fain , but cannot be The onely Cap of no Degree . The Sattin and the Velvet hive , Unto a Bishoprick doth drive : Nay , when a File of caps you 're seen in , A square cap this , and then a linen : This treble cap may raise some hope If fortune smile , to be a Pope . Thus any Cap , &c. The Periwig , Oh that declares The rise of flesh , though loss of hairs : And none but Graduats can proceed In sin so far , till this they need . Before the Prince none cover'd are , But those that to themselves go bare . This Cap , of all the Caps that be Is now the Signe of high degree . A Fancie . WHen mortal beauties sheath their radiant light , Masking their glory in the clouds of night : When Phoebus tumbles into Thetis lap , After his traveling to take a nap ; Then dares each little star open an eye , And peep into the world familiarly , Which in the lustre of the lightsome day , Doth stand eclips'd by a more splendid ray : For where the freshest fashion is in place , The rest look slovenly , and lose their grace : So where a richer Fortune hath a suit , Vertue and Merit may and must stand mute . A SONG . T Is not my Ladies face that makes me love her , Though beauty there doth rest , Enough t' enflame the brest Of those that never did discover The glories of that face before : But I that have seen many more , See nought in her , but what in others are ; Onely because I think she 's fair , she 's fair . 'T is not her vertues , nor those vast perfections Which croud together in her ▪ Engage my heart to win her : For those are onely brief collections Of what 's in man in folio writ , Which by their imitating wit , VVomen like apes and children strive to do : But we that have the substance , flight the show . 'T is not her birth ▪ her friends , nor yet her treasure , My free-born soul can hold : For chains are chains , though gold ; Nor do I court her for my pleasure , Nor for that old mortality , Do I love her 'cause she loves me : For that 's but onely gratitude ; and all Loves that from Fortune rise , with Fortune fall . If either birth or friends created love withi● me , Then Princes I 'd adore , And onely scorn the poor : If vertues or good parts could win me ▪ I 'd turn Platonick , and ne'er vex My soul with difference of sex . And he that loves his Lady 'cause she 's fair , Delights his eye : so loves himself , not her . Wit and Discretion are to Love High-treason : Nor doth he truely love , Whose flames are not above , And far beyond his wit and reason . Then ask no reason for my fires ; They 're infinite , like my desires : Something there is makes me to love ; and I Do know I love , but know not how or why . A Medly . I Prethee sweet Rose pull up thy cloaths , And let me see thy — Fortune my foe , why didst thou frown on — Green sleeves and Pudding-pies , And wot you not where — The Cripple of Cornwal surnam'd was : He slept under an old hollow — Barnaby where hast thou been ? Drunk ore-night , and dry again , in the days of Old Simon the King , With a thred-bare coat , and a Malmsey nose , Sing , Heigh — For a lusty lively lad , Heigh for a lad lacks kissing ; Heigh for a lad that 's seldom sad : But when he 's dead , and laid in his grave , The passengers by will say , There was — A jovial Turk dwelt in the town of Turvey ; And he could tune a kettle well , but his humour was scurvy : Still did he cry , Tara tink , tara tink boys ; Room for Cuckolds here comes — As pretty a Nymph as I have seen ; Her age was not above fifteen : For grief of heart complained she , I slept not since the Conquest . A SONG . When Phoebus first did Daphne love , And could no way her fancy move ; He crav'd the cause . The cause , quoth she , Is , I have vow'd Virginity . Then Phoebus raging , swore , and said , 'Bove fifteen none should die a maid . If maidens then perchance are sped ▪ Ere they can scarcely dress their head ; Yet pardon them , for they are loath To make Apollo break his oath : And better 't is a childe were born , Than that a god should be forsworn . Yet silly they , when all is done , Complain , our wits their hearts have won ; When 't is for fear that they should be With Daphne turn'd into a tree : And who would so her self abuse , To be a tree , if she could ch●se ? A Lampoun . 1. THimble 's wife is fair , Wherefore he vows to sting her ; And ever when they toy , she cries , Oh Thimble , you wring my finger . 2. Moor 's wife is chaste , Which makes all men to wonder : The reason is , that Moor himself Doth always keep her under . 3. Bell 's wife is good metal , Besides , she 's very dapper : And when the peal is rung , she cries , O Bell , how fares your clapper ? 4. Lichfield's wife is lustful , And given to excess , Because she is a Printers wife , And loves to be in Press . 5. Crosse 's wi●e is ugly ; Besides , she 's very common : Which makes him to lament , No cross is like a woman . 6. Hack's wife is unknown , Because he lives unwed ; Yet hath work enough to saw the horns He gets on Herbert's head . A Charm . SLeep , old man ; let silence charm thee : Dreaming slumbers overtake thee : Quiet thoughts and darkness arm thee : Let no creaking door awake thee . Phoebus hath put out his light , All his shadows closing : Phoebe lends her horns to night , To thy heads disposing . Let no fatal Bell nor Clock Pierce the hollow of thine ear : Tongueless be the early Cock , Or what else may make a fear . Let no Rat nor silly Mouse Along these benches rushing ; No● a Cough disturb this house , Till Aurora 's blushing . Come , my sweet Corinna , come ; Laugh , and leave thy late deploring : Sable midnight makes all dumb , But thy jealous husbands snoring . And with thy sweet perfumed kisses Entertain a stranger : Love , delight , and swee●●st bliss is Got with greatest danger . The Mercury . COme buy my new Almanacks every one . And take the choice before they are gone , One thousand six hundred fourty one : Come buy my new Almanacks , new . The Puritan hath got his lock ▪ Babylon's Whore's stript of her smock , And you may see what 't is a clock : Come buy , &c. The Spring will windy be , and blow ; Autumn full of hail and snow : Such storms as these you ne'er did know . Come buy , &c. The Sun we finde Eclips'd will be , By S. by M. by P. and by G. Such distempers as these you ne'er did see : Come buy , &c. The Moon also will have another , By Mars , or by some such — brother : Heav'ns bless the one , and blast the other ▪ Come buy , &c. Be 't he or she , be 't hic or haec ; He that hath had a — check ; Let him beware● the sign 's i' th' neck . Come buy , &c. Time will give , that you shall see , All will be ferk'd that learned be , Or ne'er trust my Astrologie . Come buy , &c. The Planets do begin to jar Amongst themselves , that fixed are : Mercury proves the falling star . Come buy , &c. This Summer will be hot and dry ; Men will faint , fall down , and die : You may know how , but never why . Come buy . &c. Pick out the best of all my store : He that writ this , ne'er writ before ; And if this fell not , he 'll never write more . Come buy , &c. The Tub-Preacher . WIth face and fashion to be known ; With eyes all white , and many a groan ; With neck awry , and drawing tone ; With harp in 's nose , or he is none : 'T is a new teacher about the town , Oh the town , the towns new teacher . With coz'ning cough , and hollow cheek , To get new gatherings every week ; With paltry text as man can speak ; With some small Hebrew , and no Greek : To finde out words , when stuff 's to seek : 'T is a new , &c. With hair cut shorter than the brow ; With little Ruff starch'd you know how ; With cloak , like Paul ; no coat ▪ I trow : With Surplice none , till lately now : With hands to thump , no knees to bow : 'T is a new , &c. With Shopboard-breeding and intrusion ; With some outlandish institution ; With Systems Method for confusion , With Vrsin's Catechism to curse on , With strong-laid groans for meer illusion . 'T is a new , &c. With threats of absolute damnation , With certainty of some salvation To his own Tribe , not every Nation ; And with some Use of Consolation . 'T is a new , &c. With troops expecting him at the door , To hear a Sermon , and no more ; And with new sighs of them great store , And with great Bibles to turn ore , Whilst he writes Notes upon the score : 'T is a new , &c. With flesh-provision for the Lent , With sheets of Sweet-meats oft-times spent , Which young maids brought , old Ladies sent , Yet of this Legacie sure event . 'T is a new ▪ &c. VVith new-wrought caps against the Canon , For catching cold , tho' sure he ha' none , And with new Pulpit-cloth to lean on , And with new hour , when glass is run on , New points , new notes , new nought to stand on . 'T is a new , &c. The Impartial Doom . BLinde Fortune , if thou wantst a guide , I 'll tell thee how thou may'st divide , And distribute to each their due : Justice is blinde , as well as you . To th' Usurer this doom impart : Ma● 's Scrivener break , and then his heart : May's debters into Begg'ry fall , Or what 's as bad , turn Courtiers all . To Trades-men that do sell too dear , A long Vacation all the year : Revenge us thus on their deceits , And send 'em wives light as their weights . But Fortune , how wilt thou recompence The French-mens daily insolence ? For them I know no greater pain , Then to be sent to France again . L●st the Players should grow poor , Send them Aglaura's more and more ; And to the Puritan more ears Then Ceres in her Garland wears . The Physicians if thou please , Send them another new Disease : To Scholars give , if thou canst do 't , A Benefice without a Suit. To Court Lords grant Monopoly ; But to their wives , Community : So Fortune thou shalt please them all , If Lords do rise , and Ladies fall . To the Lawyers I beseech As much for silence as for speech : To Ladies Ushers , strength of back ▪ And to my self , a cup of Sack . The Cuckold's Pedigree . WHat 's a Cuckold , learn of me ; I can tell his Pedigree , And his subtil nature conster : He lives a man , yet dies a monster . Yet old Antiquaries say , He 's sprung from old Methusala . Who after Noah's flood was found To have his head with branches crown'd . God in Eden's happie shade , Never such a creature made . Then to be sure , and without all mistaking . Cuckolds , Cuckolds , Cuckolds are of womens making . The Curse . THou who the native stink t' expel Of thy — bely'st the smell ; Before the rank and luscious steam VVho pre●er'st — the sweet extream , VVith Essences Civet , Musk be●mear'd ; Mayst thou be wholesom , and yet sear'd ▪ Hot as the Dog-days mayst thou burn , Yet none so mad to serve thy turn : Not a French-man in the Citie , Not a Stallion left to fit ye : Not a D●ldo in the town , Though thou 'dst pawn thy self to th' Gown For the Prodigie that can To thy lust supply a man . Perpetual frosts in thy hands dwell , In thy — perpetual hell : To frig thy self be all on fire , Yet want the pow'r to that desire . That another may not do VVhat thy self 's disabled to ; Be all thy acquaintance cold as North , When Pisee● frost dispenseth forth . Now to adde unto thy Curse , Hear and have what is far worse : Free from the act , have a repute Of a most noted prostitute ; Though thou art honest 'gainst thy will : All pleasures want , but not one ill . P — on those false — give me Lesbia 's commoditie ; Hers , your nose will half way meet , Putting down Fish quite , or Thames-street : Fulsom as a Tanners pit ; No Red-Herring smell● like it . Sents that come from the Exchange , As unpleasant are , as strange . Whose — 's perfum'd , 't is none of hers , But her dapper Milleners . Encomium of Tobacco . TObacco 's a Musician , And in a Pipe delighteth : It descends in a close , Through the organ of the nose , With a rellish that inviteth . This makes me sing , So-ho-ho , so-ho-ho boys , Ho boys sound I loudly : Earth ne'er did breed such a Iovial weed , Whereof to boast so proudly . Tobacco is a Lawyer ; His Pipes do love long Cases : When our brains it enters , Our feet do make Indentures , Which we seal with stamping paces . This makes ▪ &c. Tobacco 's a Physitian , Good both for sound and sickly : 'T is a hot Perfume ▪ That expell● cold Rheum , And makes it flow down quickly . This makes , &c. Tobacco is a traveller , Come from the Indies hither ; It pass'd sea and land Ere it came to my hand , And scap'd the winde and weather . This makes , &c. Tobacco is a Critick , That still old paper turneth ; Whose labour and care Is as smoak in the air , That ascends from a rag when it burneth . This makes , &c. Tobacco 's an Ignis fatuus , A fat and firy vapour , That leads men about , Till the fire be out , Consuming like a taper , This makes , &c. Tobacco is a Whiffler , And cries , Huff , snuff , with fury : His Pipes , his Club and Link , And Vizor too , when he doth drink : Thus arm'd , I fear not a Jury . This makes , &c. A SONG . STay , shut the gate ; T'other quart since 't is not so late As your thinking : The stars that you see In the Hemisphere be , Are the studs in your cheeks By your drinking . The Sun 's gone to tipple all night in the Sea , boys ; To morrow he 'll blush that he 's paler then we boys : Give us wine , give him water ; 't is Sack makes us the boys . Fill up the Glass ; To the next merry lad let it pass ▪ Come away w' it : Come set foot to foot , And give your mindes to 't ; Th' are heretical Sixes That slay wit . No Helicon like to the juyce of the wine is : For Phoebus had never had wit nor divineness , Had his face not been budded as thine is and mine is . Drink off your Bowls , We 'll enrich both our heads and our souls With Canary . A Carbuncle face Saves a tedious race : For the Indies about Us we carry . Then hang up good faces ; let 's drink till our noses Give freedom to speak what our fancie disposes , Beneath whose protection now under the Rose is . This must go round : D'off your caps , till the pavement be crown'd With your Beavers . A Red-coated face Frights a Serjeant and his Mace , And a Constable trembles To shivers . In state march our faces like those of the Quorum , When the whores do fall , and the vulgar adore um , And their noses like Link-boys run shining before um Call honest Will ; Hang a long and tedious Bill : It disgraces Those Rubies that appear : You safely may swear The reckoning 's right By our faces . Let the Bar-boys go sleep & the Drawer leav roaring ; Our looks can account without them , had we more in , When each pimple that rises will save a quart scoring . Against Demur in Marriage . PRethee friend leave off thy fooling , And at last resolve to do VVhat Loves pleasures never cooling , Love and beauty prompt thee to . Venus cares not for good-will , But would have thee doing still . Do but view that maid of Mettle ▪ How the rose smiles on her cheek ; The flow'r 's derended by the n●ttle , And the rose deserves a pri●k . Crop it then before it wither : Youth and Love decay together . Call thy spirits up , and make her Great as ever she can hold : Leave her quite , or quickly take her ; Be thou either hot or cold . Love and Religion both agree , Luke-warm 's as bad as he or she . Delays in drinking spoil good Claret ; Demurs make sick the maidenhead : Sipping either doth but mar it ; Neither pleaseth , if once dead . Take her then ; no longer dally : Worse then death is Shally , shally . Courage , man , to 't ; touch and take her : Maids by hopes are oft beguil'd : Dallying , big will hardly make her ; Kisses never got a childe . Take her then and leave thy wooing : Meaning 's not so good as doing . A SONG . THere was a Country-lass , An Amazon by stature ; She sate upon the grass To do the deeds of Nature With her A — . Her back and knee she bow'd , Making most hideous faces : Her guts do croak aloud , And for to ease their cases She hard did croud . Now mark ye what fell out , A strange deformed creature , Twelve inches round about , And of a nut-brown feature , W'th a snout . About this T — there stuck Many a broken plum , All fritter'd with a fart Which came out of her bum , And made it smart . It seem'd unto mine eye As if the composition Had been Rost-Beef and Pie ; Which made the disposition Hot and dry . The water that she made , It caused such a swidge ; That no man could invade The t — without a bridge , Or else must wade . An Answer to Full fourty times over . HE is a fond lover that doateth on scorn , VVho Fortune's neglects hath patiently born : He 's proud of abuses , if ere he return To prove a fond Lover ; His wit he 'll discover , By striving to win A fort , where old forces neglected have bin . For when a fort we defend from the foe , VVe traytors imprison ; they ne'er come below ▪ And her fort is defended by answering , No . If that will not do it , Disdain added to it , Your weapon will fall ; Although you approach , you 'll not enter at all . They are Lady-birds sure , these lovers intend , VVhich cannot with wit such a fortress defend , VVhilst Hectors their Squibs and their Crackers do spend ; And vainly come after , To conquer with laughter : For she hath no wit , That spends all her fire in the smoak to be hit . Where a fort hath no strength but such as is made By pride and by state , such a foe may invade ; For these are defences for those of the trade . You men are so witty , Works guard not our city , But forces within , With which we maintain 't , tho the out-works you win . These warriors at last with our weapons will fight ; And if we are 〈◊〉 they 'll come in the night : But alas they 're denied , our vertues are bright : For she that loves honour , No parley ere won her To yield up her pow'r , For a few slatt'ring words , and the sport of an hour . A Catch . I Met with Ioan of Kent ; I laid her on the bed , And there I got her maidenhead , And she was well content . The Cloak 's ANSWER to the Poet's FAREWEL . MAster , if I may do you no wrong , Since we have been companions so long , Let 's not now part : can friends love too long ? I was your friend in Thirty , though ; But now , how proud you Poets grow : Was 't so in Noah's days ? Ah no! For they in times far pas'd from hence , With oaken leaves their backs did fence ; Which made them love that tree ere since . As for the Muses , I wo'nt flatter . They to their breeches ne'er had tatter ; Which made them always live i' th' water . But you that have a cloak to hide What want makes them shew , why d'ye chide ? Troth 't is a strange forgetful pride . Sir , you do tax me of a high fault ; But if I 'm thredbare , is that my fault ? No , Sir ; for I will prove 't was thy fault . First , you me laid in bed full close , Sir ; But Coverlid was so short , you know , Sir , You scratch'd my wool off with your toes , Sir . VVhen you , poor son of Polyhimnie , Drank muddy ale in durty chimnie , Your Landlady she spoke full grim nie : Come , Sir , your Cloak , or I 'll arrest ye : Then quoth I , VVoman , are you so testy ? Here , take me off : and so relas'd ye . But now , for lightness you would fain Divorce me , and a new one gain , High heav'n knows how : but 't is in vain . Poor men must wear poor cloaks , you know : The Devil told the Collier so , VVhen he said , Like to like will go . My thinness makes you fear the Box , VVhere durty maid with Flint-stone knocks : But Master , have not you the Pox ? For Deianira , that Gilflurt , Gave Ioves son such a devilish hurt , As burnt not onely him , but 's shirt . She got it from the Centaur Nessus ▪ It was a cruel burn , God bless us : Alas poor Cloak , how that would dress us ! What if I 'm thin , you need not jeer , Sir : You know when Serjeant cries , D' ye hear , Sir ? A thin cloak you may quickly tear , Sir . Then was not he a Iohn-an-oak VVho open'd his mouth when that he spoke , And made a Love-back of your cloak ? Some call'd me Fiction , though but few did : I think the men were mad or stupid ▪ Or else they were as blinde as Cupid . Yet we read of one had such a thin shroud In heav'n ( me● were not then so proud ) That Poets said he was wrapt in a cloud . This Heroe he was hight Ixion ; Perhaps he had no money to buy one : Yet ventur'd he Ioves bed to lie on . For he in thredbare cloak lov'd Iuno , And Iuno him for ought that you know ; Though I confess I care not to know . Though I am on , you do protest You walk in Cuerpo when y' are drest : Master , that 's but a thredbare jest . Then a brother in zeal came with his ditty : But if he were hang'd , 't were no great pity : For how a devil came he so witty ? For Scholar that talked of Arachne , Alas his brains were lean as hackney : The poor man spoke when there was no Sack nigh . For him that took me for a Cobweb , ( This verse wants rhyme , though not the next ) I would the knave were in Mount Horeb. Thus as poor cloaks they jeering sit , The name of Taylors would them fit , Because 't is but a Pricklouse-wit . The Clerks in Blackwel-Hall , in brief , With sculls of Sar●cens eat Beef : Master , doth this provoke your grief ? Will you , to have a pendent haunch , Or a greasie prominent paunch , Basely forsake the Olive-branch ? Once more together let 's agree : Master , these are best times for me : Thin cloaks are naught for knavery . Now O that some good mortal would Make me an Epitaph as well as he could ; Verily , verily , I thank him would . On hedge now I hang ▪ the more 's the pity That one did make my Master so witty : His wits are gone into the city ; As he doth say , more wool to borrow : Perhaps he 'll have it to day or tomorrow ; Perhaps he wo'nt , the more 's his sorrow . Master , adieu , poorer then Condi ; Your bare breech , Sir , may want me one day : Sic transit , transit , gloria mundi . The Clowns Song . THe Courtier scorns us Country-Clowns , We Country-Clowns do scorn the Court : We can be as merry upon the Downs , As you at midnight with all your sport : With a fadding , with a fadding . You hawk , you hunt , you lie upon Pallets , You eat , you drink ▪ the Lord knows how : We sit upon hillocks , and pick upon Sallets , And sup up our Sillibubs under a cow : With a fadding , with a fadding . Your Suits are made of Silks and Sattins , And ou●s are made of good Sheeps-gray : You mix your discourses with pieces of Latin , We speak our old English as well as we may : With a fadding , with a fadding . Your Masks are made of Knights and Lords , And Ladies that be fresh and gay : We dance with such musick as Bag-pipe affords , And trick up our Lasses as well as we may : With a fadding , with a fadding . Your Rooms are behung with cloth of Arras , Our Meadows are deck'd as fresh as may be : And from our Pastime you never shall bar us , Since Ioan in the dark 's as good as my Lady : With a fadding , with a fadding . The Gelding of the Devil . A Merry Jest I will you tell , Of the gelding of the Devil of hell ; And of the Baker of Mansfield-town , To Manchester-market as he was bound : And under a Grove of Willows clear , The Baker was singing with lusty chear ; Beyond the willows there was a well , And there he met with the Devil of hell . Oh , quoth the Devil , how chanceth that Thy Horse he is so fair and fat ? Good Sir , quoth the Baker , by my fay , 'Cause both his stones are cut away ; For he that is a Gelding free , Both fair and lusty will he be . Oh , quoth the Devil and sayst thou me so ? Thou shalt geld me before thou dost go . The Baker had a knife of iron and steel , Wherewith he gelded the devil of hell : 'T was sharp , and pointed for the nonce , And for to carve all manner of stones . The Baker he lighted from off his horse , And cut the devil's stones clear from 's arse : Oh , quoth the devil , beshrew thy heart ; Thou dost not feel how I do smart . For gelding of me thou art not quit ; I mean to geld thee the same day sennit . The Baker hearing the words he said , In his heart was sore afraid : He hy'd him unto the next Market-town , To sell his bread both white and brown , And when the Market was done that day , The Baker rode home another way ; And told his wife how all befel , How he had gelded the devil of hell . Wondrous words , quoth he , I heard him say , He would geld me the next Market-day : Therefore , said the Baker , I stand in doubt . Uds bobs , I 'd rather the ●naves eyes were out : I 'd rather thou shouldst break thy neck-bone , Than for to lose any manner of stone . For why ? it is a loathsom thing ; And every woman will call thee Gelding . Thus they remained both in fear , Until the Market-day drew neer . Then quoth the Goodwife , Well I wot , Go fetch me thy doublet for and thy coat , Thy hose , and thy shoon , and thy cap also , And I like a man to the Market will go . Then forth she hy'd her all in haste , With her bread upon her beast : And when she came unto the hill's side , There she saw two devils abide ; A little devil and another , Were playing as if th' had been sister and brother : Oh , quoth the great devil , without fain , Yonder 's the Baker ; go call him again . But be thou weal , Baker , or be thou wo , I mean to geld thee before thou dost go . But these were the words the woman did say ; Good Sir , I was gelt but yesterday . Oh , quoth the devil , and that I will see : And he pull'd her hose beneath her knee ; And looking upwards from the ground , There he spy'd a most grievous wound . Oh , quoth the devil , now I see He was nothing cunning that gelded thee : For when he had cut off thy stones clean , He should have sow'd up the holes again . He call'd the little Devil to him anon , And bid him look to that same man , While he did go to some private place To get some salve in a little space . The Devil was no sooner gone his way , But upon her belly there crep't a flea : The little Devil soon espied that , He up with his paw , and gave it a pat : The woman for fear began to start , And out she thrust a most horrible fart . Hoop , hoop quoth the little devil ; come again , I say , Here 's another hole broke hard by , by my fay . Baker , quoth the devil , thou canst not be ●ound , That smellest so sore above the ground : Thy life and days it cannot be long ▪ Thy breath it savours so horrible strong : The hole is broke so near the bone , There will no salve well stick upon : Therefore , Baker , hie thee away , And in this place no longer stay . Charing Cross . UNdone , undone , you Lawyers are , That wander about the Town , And can't finde the way to Westminster , Now Charing-Cross is down : At the end of the Strand they make a stand , Swearing they 're at a loss ; And chasing say , That 's not the way ; They must go by Charing-Cross . The Committees they said , Verily To Pop'ry it was bent . For ought I know , it might be so : To Church it never went . What with — and other Laws , The Kingdom doth begin To think you 'll leave them ne'er a Cross Without doors nor within . For neither man , woman nor childe , Can say , I 'm confident , That ere they heard it speak a word Against the Parliament . 'T had Letters about it found , some say , Or else it had been freed : 'Fore George , I 'll take my oath of it , 'T could neither write nor read . The Maids Portion . 1. NOw all my friends are dead and gone , Alas , what shall betide me ? For I poore maid am left alone , Without a house to hide me : Yet still I le be of merry cheer , And have kind welcome every where , Though I have but a Mark a year , And that my mother gave me . 2. I scorn to think of Poverty , Or want of food or cloathing , I le be maintained gallantly , And all my life want nothing ; A frolique mind● Il● alwayes beare , My poverty shall not appeare , Though I have but , &c. 3. Though I am but a silly wench Of Country Education , Yet I am woo'd by Dutch and French , And almost every nation . Both Spaniards and Italians sweare , That with their hearts they love me dear● , Yet I have but a Mark a yeare And that my mother , &c. 4. The Welch , the Irish and the Scot , Since I came to the Citty , In love to me are wondrous hot , They tell me I am Pretty : Therefore to live I will not feare , For I am sought both farre and near , Yet I have but , &c. 5. This London is a gallant place To raise a Lasses fortune , For I that came of simple race , Brave roarers doe importune I little thought in Dorchester , To find such high preferment here , For I have but a Mark a yeare Which my good mother , &c. 6. One gives to me perfumed Gloves The best that he can buy me , Live where I will I have the Ioves Of all that doe live ●●gh me If any new toyes I will weare , I le have them , cost they ne're so dear . Though I have but , &c. 7. My fashion with the Moone I change As though I were a Lady , All quaint conceits both new and strange , I le have as soon as may be : Your Courtly Ladyes I can jeare , In cloath , but few to me come neere , Yet I have but , &c. 8. French Gowns with sleeves like pudding baggs I have at my requesting , Now I forget my Country ragg● , And scorn such plaine investing My old acquaintance I casheere , And of my kin I hate to hear , Though I have but , &c. 9. My petticoats of Scarlet brave , Of Velvet , Silk and Sattin , Some Students of my love do crave , That speak both Greek and Latin ; The Soldiers for me domineere , And put the rest into great feare . All this is is for a mark a year , And that my mother , &c. 10. The Precisian sincerely vowes , And doth protest he loves me , He tires me out with yea's and no's , And to impatience moves me : Although an oath he will not swear , To lye at no time he doth farre . All this is for a mark a year , And that my mother , &c. 11. My Coach drawn with four Flanders Mares , Each day attend my pleasure , The Water-men will leave their fares To wait upon my leisure . Two Lacqueys labour every where , And at my word run here and there . Though I have but , &c. 12. Now if my friends were living still , I would them all abandon , Though I confesse they lov'd me well , Yet I so like of London , That farewell Dad and Mammy dear , And all my friends in Dorcetshire . I live well with a mark a yeare , And that my mother , &c. 13. I would my sister Sue at home Knew how I live in fashion , That she might up t●London come , And learn this Ocupation , For I live like a Lady here , I weare good clothes , and eat good cheare . Yet I have but , &c. 14. Now blessed be that happy day , That I came to the Citty , And for the Carrier will I pray , Before I end my Ditty . You maidens that this Ditty heare , Though means be short , yet never feare : For I live with a mark a year , Which my old mother gave me . VVat's A la mort. 1. IF mourn I may in time so glad , Or mingle joyes with ditty sad . Lend your eares , lend Wa● your eyes , And look you where she ●o●abed lies ; Two simple fee● , alas , containes The last which late oer Downs and Plaines , Made Horse , and Hound , and Horn to blow , Why Wat , where art ? So ho , so ho . 2. Where is this view and cunning sent , Which so much blood and breath ha●t spent ? This subtile traines thy Courses strong , Thy Capers high , thy Dances long , Thy envious leannest , and thy Muse , As perfect as a Maidens Scuce . Thy tract in snow , like widdowes we . Why Wat , &c ▪ 3. Oh! where is now thy flight so fleet , Thy jealous brow , thy nimble feet , Thy magick frisks , thy Circles round , Thy Jugling feats , to mock the hound ? Who sees thee now in covert creep , To sit and hark , or stand and weep , Or coole thy foot to foyle thy foe ? Why Wat , &c. 4. Why didst thou not then flye this fate , And from this forme thrust forth thy Mate , As some good Wife when Death 's at dore Shee 'l thrust her good Man forth before ? Why didst thou not this doome to scape ? Upon thee take some Wizards shape , Or shrowd thy selfe in Cottage low . Why Wat , &c. 5. But should we think Wat was more wise , Then Iowlers nose , or Ioundells cries , Or Ladies lips , since Wat alone , Must needs by many be or ' ethrown ? Yet as I mourn , thy life so short , So will I sing thy royall sport , And guiltlesse game of all I know . Why Wat , &c. 6. O sad , the fair young son of myrrh , Forsook the boar and follow'd her , Or had Action hunted Wat , When he saw Dyna's , you know what ; Or had the young man lov'd this life , Who slew for Deer , his dearest wife . They all had known no other wo , Save Wat where art ? so ho so ho . A Question . WHy are women said their husbands to deceive . Since the keyes of their wickets with their husbands they leave ? The Answer is made to this Question so put , That that doore which will open by chance , will not shut . The Game at Shittle-cock . MY Mistress is a Shittle-cock , compos'd of cork and feather , Each battledore playes with her dock , and beats upon her leather . When one will not suffice her will , She flies unto another still . On the Beard . THe beard thick or thin , On the lip or the chin , Doth dwell so near the tongue , That her silence In the beard's defence , Would doe her neighbour wrong ▪ Now a beard is a thing That commands in a King , Be his Scepter nere so faire . When it beares sway The people obey , And are ruled to a haire . 'T is a Princely sight And a great delight , That adorns both young and old . A well thatch'd face Is a comely grace , And a shelter from the cold . When the piercing North Comes fiercely forth , Let the barren face beware . For a trick it will finde With a razor of winde , To shave the cheek that is bare . But there 's many nice And strange device , That doth the beard disgrace , But he that brings in Such a foolish thing , Is a traytor to his face . But of beards there be Such a company , Of fashions such a throug . That it is very hard To handle the beard , Though it be nere so long . The Roman T In its bravery , Doth first its self disclose . But so high it turns Many times that it burns , With the flames of a torrid nose . The picked beard , Is makes me afeard , It is so sharp beneath ; For he that doth place A dagger in his face , What doth he in his sheath ? But methinks I do itch To go thorough stitch , And the needle beard to mend , Which without any wrong , I may call too long , For a man can see no end . The Soldier's beard Doth march in the heard , In figure like a spade , With which he doth make His enemies quake , To think that their Graves are made . The grim stubble eke On the Justice's cheek , Must not my verse despise , Which were more fit For a Nutmeg , but it Doth grate poore prisoners eyes . A Beard doth invest The Bishops brest , With much white spreading haire , Which an Embleme may be Of the integrity That doth inhabite there . But O let us tarry For the beard of King Harry , That growes upon the chin , In his bushie pride With a grave on each side , And a Champion ground between . Next the clowne doth out rush With his beard of bush , Which may be well endur'd , For though his face Lyes in a rude case , Yet his land is well manur'd . 1 : A song , on a Tenement . IF any man doth want a house , Be he Prince , Baronet● , or ' Squire , Or Peasant , ( hardly worth a louse ) I can fit his desire : I have a tenement , the which , I know will fit them all , 'T is seated near a stinking ditch , They call it Cunny-hall . 2. It doth lye beyond bonny ground At the foot of Belly-hill , This house is easie to be found By whosoever will , For terme of life , or years , or dayes , I le let this pleasant bowre , Nay ' rather than a tenant want I le let it for an houre . 3. About it growes a lofty Wood To shade you from the Sun , Well water'd 't is , for thorow it , A pleasant stream doth run : If hot , you there may coole your selfe ; If cold , you 'le there finde hear ; For greatest , 't is not too little ; For least , 't is not too great . 4. My house , I must confesse , 't is dark Be it by night or day , But if you once be got therein You cannot misse your way ; But when y●'re in , make boldly of As fast as are you can , But if you come to th' end thereof You come where nere did man . 5. Thus if you like my Cunny-hall Your house-rent shall be good , For such a temper as you please , Burn neither coale nor wood ; But if it rain , or freez , or snow , To speak I dare be bold , If you keep your nose within dore You nere shall be a cold . I Am that lofty Swaine That never car'd to love None of Diana's traine Could ever my fancy move : Kad Cupit from above Could never conquer me , Since Peggy it is thee I love , And thy Captive I will be . 7. Since Peggy it is sure That I doe love thee best , Then put aside delayes And grant me my request . Come good or evill hap , Come wealth or poverty , I le set thee in my lap And I le smuggle thee hand somly . 8. Vlisses did commend Constant Penelope , Pigmalion lov'd his friend , Why may not I love thee ? Though great Achilles was The God of Victory , He lov'd a Trojan Lasse And smuggl'd her handsomly . 9. Though Vulcan ( grim and black ) Faire Venus did imbrace , Of him she thought no lack For all his dirty face : Though he were crook'● d●kin , And Iglerd ore the eye , Yet Venus lov'd him well And he smuggl'd her handsomly . Matheglin , ale , and beer , Plump clarret wine , and sherry Shall not be wanting here If'● may but make thee merry : When ended is the feast With mirth and merry glee , I take thee to the bed And Il● smuggle thee handsomely . Lydford Law . A Song . 1. I Oft have heard of Lydford-Law How in the morne they hang end draw , And sit in judgement after : At first I wondred at it much , But since I finde the reason such That it deserves no laughter . 2. There stands a Castle on a hill , I took it for an old Windmill . The Van 's blown off with weather ; To lye therein one night 't is guess'd 'T were better to be hang'd or press'd , Or drownd , now chus● you whether . 3. The Prince an hundred pound hath sent To mend the leads and plankings rent Within this living tombe ; Some forty five pounds more had paid The debts of all that sh●ll be laid There , till the Day of Doome . 4. One lyes there for a peck of salt , Another for three pecks of malt , Two sureties for a noble : If this be true or else fals● newes , You may goe ask of Master Cruse , Iohn Vaughan , or Iohn Doble . 5. Though debts and Debters are but poor , The Courts and Causes are the more , ( So many Tynners made ) That Lawyers and Attourneys all , Which in these Courts doe sco●de and brawle Doe finde it a gainfull trade . 6. Nere to these men that lye in lurch , There is a bridge , there is a Church Five Ashes and one Oake ; Seven houses standing and ten down , Some say the Parson hath a gown , But I saw nere a cloake . 7. Whereby you may consider well , That plain simplicity doth dwell At Lydford without bravery : For in that town , both young and grave The naked truth , and have No Clokes to hide their kn●very . 8. The people all within this Clim● Are frozen all the winter time . ( be sure I do not fain ) And when the Somer is begun , They lye like Slow-worms in the Sun , And come to life again . 9. I kiss'd the Mayor's hand o' th' town , VVho , though he wear no Scarlet gown , Yet honours the Rose and Thistle . A piece of Corall in the Mace , VVhich there I saw , to serve the place , 'T would make a good childs whistle . 10. At six o' th' clock I came away , And vow'd I would no longer stay ▪ within a place so — arrant , Both wide and ope to winds that roare , By Gods grace I le come there no more , Unlesse by some tynn warrant . A SONG . 1. O My Dearest I shall grieve thee , VVhen I sweare , yet Sweet believe me ; By thine eyes the tempting book , On which even crabbed ol● men look ; I swear to thee , though none abhor them , Yet do I not love thee for them . 2. I do not love thee for that faire Rich Fan of thy most curious haire , Although the wires thereof be drawn Far finer than the threds of Lawn , And are softer than the leaves On which the subtile Spinner weaves . 3. I do not love thee for those Flowers Growing on thy cheeks , Loves bowers ; Though such cunning them hath spread , That none can part their white and red : Loves golden arrowes thence are shot , And yet for them I love thee not . 4. I do not love thee for those soft Red Corrall'd lips I k●st so oft , Nor teeth of Pearle , the double guard To speech , where Musick still is heard ; Though from those lips a kisse being taken , Can tyrants melt , and death awaken ▪ 4. I do not love thee , oh my fairest , For that richest , for that rarest Silver piller , that stands under Thy round head , the Globe of wonder ; Though that neck be whiter far Than towers of polished Ivory are . 6. I do not love thee for those mountaines , Hid with snow , where milky fountaines , Sugar'd sweet as syrrop'd berries , Must one day run through pipes of cherries ▪ O how much those breasts do move me , Yet for them I do not love thee . 7. I do not love thee for that belly , Sleek as sattin , soft as jelly ; Although within that Christ ●ll round VVhole heaps of treasure might be found , So rich , that for the least of them , A King might give his D●adem . 8. I do not love thee for those thighes , VVhose A●●blaster rocks do rise So high , and even that they stand Like sea-ma●k● to some happy Land . Happy are those eyes have seen them , More happy he shall saile between them . 9. I do not love thee for that palm , Although the dew thereof be balm , Nor for that pretty leg and foot , Although it be the precious root , On which this goodly Caedar grows ; My Sweet , I love thee not for those . 10. Nor for thy wit , though pure and quick , VVhose substance no Arithmetick Can number down ; nor for those charms Thou mak'st with thine embracing armes : Although in them one night to lye , My dearest I would gladly dye . 11. I love thee not for eyes or haire , Nor teeth , nor cheeks , nor lips so rare , Nor for thy speech , nor neck , nor breast , Nor for thy belly , nor the rest , Nor for thy hand , nor foot so small , But wilt thou know , dear sweet , for all ? A Song . 1. COme , come , come , do you mask , do you mum By my holy doom ? what a coile is here ? Some must sway , and some obey , Or else I pray , who will stand in fear ? Though my toe That I limp on so , Do work my wo , and well aday , This sweet spring , And another thing , Will make us sing Fa , la , la , la , la , 2. Fellow Gods , are you faln at odds ? What fury mads your immortall braines ? For a little care of the worlds affair , Will you fret & swear ? will you take such pains ? No Gods , no , Let fury go , And mortalls wo as well as they . This sweet spring , And another thing , Will make us sing , Fa , la , la , la , la ▪ 3. Thou God of Moe● , with thy toting nose , And thy mouth that growes to thy ●olling eare , Stretch it forth from North to South , And quench thy drought in Vinegar . Though thy tongue Be too large and long To sing the song of Fa , la , la , la , la , Joyn Momus grace To Vulcans pace , And a filthy face , cry , Bow , wow , wow , wow , wow . A SONG . ALL haile to the dayes That merits more praise Than all the rest of the yeere , And welcome the nights That double delights , As well in the Poore as the Peere . Good fortune attend Each merry mans friend , That doth but the best that he may , Forgetting old wrong , With a cup and a song , To drive the cold Winter away . Let Misery pack With a whip at his back , To the deep Tantalian flood ; And Envy profound In Lethe be drown'd , That repines at another mans good ; Let Sorrow's expenc● Be a thousand yeares hence With payments of grief and delay , And spend the whole night With honest delight , To drive the cold Winter away . The threading of the Needle . 1. O That I durst but thred your Needle , Lady , There would I work till I had made a Baby , Or stop your Floodgates , on condition I Did at the Joynter in the River lye . 2. Oh that I durst but shoot a Gulph I know , Or in the Lower Countreys my seed sow ; Or plough the bottome of that Nether land , Untill my Plough did fall , and I not stand . 3. Oh that I durst but play at in and in , If I were out , I would again begin ; Or fast or loose , I care not whether much , Yet should I lose at both , my play is such . 4. Oh that I durst tread the grass that grows About your River , where perfect Nectar flows , Or that my smaller Current might distill His moysture into yours , till yours it fill . 5. Oh that I durst monopolize a thing , I mean that curious black enamell'd Ring , Whose vertue 's such in durance , that it has Worn out a world of Stones , that did surpasse ; Yet I care not ; for all that I will venter , If you 'll give leave , within your Ring to enter . The hunting of the Gods . To the Tune of Room for Cuckolds . 1. SOngs of Sonnets , and rusticall Rounde laye , Forms of fancies are whistled on reeds , Songs to solace young Nymphs upon Holydayes , Are too unworthy for wonderfull deeds : Phoebus ingenious , VVith witty Silenius : His haughty genius taught to declare , In words better coyned , And verse better joyned , How starres divined the hunting the Hare . 2. Starres enamour'd with pastimes olympicall ; Starres and Planets yet beautiful shone , VVould no longer that mortall men only Should swim in pleasures , while they but look on . Round about horned Lucina they swarmed , And her informed how minded they were ; Each God and Goddesse To take humane bodies , As Lords and Ladies to follow the Hare . 3. Chast Diana applauded the motion , And pale Proserpina sat in her place , Which guides the Welkin & governs the Ocean , Till she conducts her Nephews in chace , Till by her example , Their Father to trample The old and ample earth , leave them the aire , Neptune the water And wine , liber pater , And Mars the slaughter , to follow the Hare . 4. Young god Cupid mounted on Pegasus , Beloved of Nymphs , with kisses and praise , Strong Alcides upon cloudy Caucasus , Mounts a Centaur , which proudly him bare , Postillian of the sky , Swift-footed Mercury Makes his Courser fly fleet as the aire . Yellow Apollo The Kennell doth follow With whip and hollow , after the Hare . 5. Young Amintas thought the Gods came to breathe After their battel , themselves on the ground , Thirsts did think the Gods came to dwell here beneathe , And that hereafter the world would go round , Coridon aged With Phillis engaged , Was much enraged with jealous despaire . But fury was vaded , And he was perswaded , When he they applauded the hunting the Hare . 6. Deep Melampus , and cunning Iramboti , Neap and Tiger , and Harpi the skies Rents with roaring , whilst hunter-like Hercules Windes his plentifull horn to their cries , Till with varieties , To solace their Deities , Their weary pieties refreshed were , We sheepherds were seated , The whilst we repeated How we conceited the hunting the Hare . 7. Stars but shadowes were , joyes are but sorrowes , Were there no motion , nor had they delight , Joyes are joviall , delights are the marrowes Of li●e and motion , the axell of might , Pleasure depends Upon no other friends , But freely lends to each vertue a share , Onely is pleasure The measure of treasure , Of pleasure the treasure is hunting the Hare . 8. Drowned Narcissus from his Metamorphosis , Rowzed by Eccho , new man-hood did take . Snoring Somnus up-started from Caemeris , The which this thousand years was not awake , To see club footed Old Mulciber booted , And Pan promoted on Coridon's mare . Proud Pallas pouted , And AEolus shouted , And Momus flouted , yet follow'd the Hare : 9. Hymen ushers the Lady Astraea , The jest takes hold of Minerva the old ; Ceres the brown , with bright Caeth●ria , With Thetis the wanton , Bellona the bold ; Shamefac'd Aurora , With witty Pandora , And Maia with Flora did company bear , But Iuno was stated Too high to be mated , Although she hated not hunting the Hare . 10. Three broad boles to the Olympicall Rector , The Troy-born Eagle pres●nts on his knee , Iove to Phoebus carouses in Nectar , And Phoebus to Hermes , and Hermes to mee : Wherewith infused , I piped and mused , In tongues unused their sports to declare , Till that the house of Iove , Round as the Spheares do move Health to all those that love hunting the Hare . A SONG . NAy , prethee don't fly me , But sit thee down by me ; I cannot endure The Lad that 's demure , A pox on your Worships and Sirs ; Your Congies and Trips , With your Legs and your Lips , Your Madams and Lords , And such finicall words , And the Complement you bring , That doth spell nothing , You may keep for the Change and the Furres : For at the beg●nning was neither Peasant nor Prince , And who the devil made the distinction since ? Those Titles and Honours Do remain in the Donours , And not in the King , To which they do cling , If his soul be too narrow that weares um ; No delight can I see In the thing call'd degree ; Honest Dick sounds as well As a name with an L. That with Titles doth swell , And thunder l●ke a Spell , To affright mortal eares that do hear um . He that wears a brave soul , & dares honestly do , Is a Herauld to himself and a Godfather too . Why should we then dote on One with a Foole's coat on , VVhose Coffers are cramm'd ? But yet he 'l be damn'd Ere he 'l do a good act or a wise one : What reason hath he To be ruler ore me , Who is Lord ore his Chest ? But his Head and her Breast Are both empty and bare , And puffe up with aire , And can neither assist nor advise one : Honour but air , and proud flesh but dust is , 'T is we Commons make Lords , as the Clerks make the Justice . But since we must be Of a different degree , 'Cause most do aspire , To be greater and higher Than the rest of their fellowes , & brothers . He that hath such a spirit , Let him gain by his merit , Spend his wealth , brains and blood For his Country's good , And make himself fit By his valour and wit , For things above the reach of all others . Honor 's a prize , and who wins it may wear it , If not , 't is a badge and a burthen to bear it . For my part let me be But quiet and free , I le drink Sack and obey , Let the great ones sway , That spend their whole time in thinking ; I le nere busie my pate With secrets of State , The Newes books I le burn all , And with the Diurnall Light Tobacco , and admit They are so far fit , As they serve for good company and drinking . All the name I desire is an honest good fellow , And that man has no worth , that won't sometimes be mellow . Bow Goose . 1. THe best of Poets write of Hogs , And of Vlysses barking Dogs , Others of Sparrows , Flies and Frogs , In former ages sang . Some of the silver Swan of Bow , Although mine was no Swan , what tho ? It was a Goose was brought from Bow To Algate . 2. A● harmlesse and as innocent She was , as those that with her went , Nor do not think the watchmen meant More sillier than she ; Who rested onely on a stall , And gave them not one word at all , And yet these Caniballs did fall About her . 3. In silence then my Goose sat still , Till she perceiving each mans bill , Praying they would not use her ill , That lookt so like them all . Yet they disdaining did begin About us for to cast a gin , And then the Constable came in And took us . 4. To whom they did relate our case , And swore each man would quit his place , If we were suffered to disgrace The Kings Lieutenant so . And then my G●nders eminence , My Goose and I commanded thence , And were made graduats to commence I' th' Counter . 5. We thither went , and then my Goose , That pinion'd was before , got loose , For having us within their noose , They had no cause to fear : Then into every ward we went , And here and there our money spent , Untill the Constable had sent Next morning . 6. Who summon'd us for to appear ; Before an Alderman I le swear , That might have been that present year , Made Lord Mayor for his wit : Who took my Gooses cause in hand , And things with such judgment scann'd , That having done I scarce could stand For laughing . 7. He did not onely reprehend Our follies , but did much commend The Constable , his honest friend , For this good service done . How happy is thie City blest , With Officers among the rest , That I may adde unto their Crest My Bow Goose ? 8. But to my grief , I le tell you what , My Goose , which was before so fat , She might have been , accepted at A Mayor or Sheriffs table , Grew wan and lean , and that so ill , That from her wing she dropt a quill , Desiring me to write her Will ; Which I did . 9. And thus my Goose's will began , Unto the reverend Alderman I do bequeath my brain-sick pan , With all therein contained . And Mr. Constable , to you My empty head , which is your due , My bill unto the damned crew , The Watchmen . 10. And furthermore , it is my will The City Clerks should have a quill , To write such learned speeches still , As his brave Lordship utters : And unto Mr. Alderman I give my taile to make a fan , My legs unto the Gentleman Her usher . 11. I do bequeath my body's trunk Unto good fellowes , for the rump Desiring that there may be drunk Both Claret and Canary . I pray you discharge your company , All such as shall Recusants be , To drink a health in memory Of my Bow Goose . 12. My body to the city Cook , That lives not far from Pasty-nook , That he into my corps may look , And coffin them in past . My guts for th' Marshall's red face save , To wear about his neck so brave , That honest Palfrey , the proud slave , May swagger . 13. As for my fellow pris'ners all , That live in debt , and ever shall , I do bequeath perpetuall , My sad and heavy heart . My clawes and pinions I do give Unto the Serjants and the Sheriff , That they may punish those that live Indebted . 14. One thing more I do perceive Almost forgot , I do bequeath My tongue , which tatling cannot leave Unto the City Counsel , That they may meditate a truce Between the City , and me their Goose , For me to be their constant muse For ever . 15. That in their Liveries they may call The boyes from every Hospitall , To sing my solemn funerall , With Dirge● to my grave , And when my Goose had uttered this , Then did my Goose begin to pisse , And sighing with a harmlesse hisse , Departed . The Libertine . 1. PErswade me not , I vow I le love no more ; My heart has now tane quarter , My fetters I le no more adore ▪ Nor madly run as heretofore . To break my freedome's Charter . He that once failes , may try again , But whoso often fool'd has been , And still attempts , commits a triple sin , He 's his own humor 's Martyr . I le use my liberty to ●u● Abroad , and still be chusing , Who would consine himself to one That has power of refusing ? 2. The unconfined B●e , we see his power To kisse and feele each Flower , Nor are his pleasures limited , To the ruines of one Maiden-head , Nor ty●d to one's embraces But having 's will of one , he 'l flye T'another , and there load his thigh , Why shou●d he have more privilege than I , Since both are amarous cases ? D●ffer in this alone , his thighes , When he abroad doth roame , Laden with spoyls , return , but mine Come weak and empty home . 3. The self-same beauty that I 've often sworn , Dwelt onely in my Dearest , I see by other Ladyes worn , Whom the same graces do adorn , I like that face that 's nearest , This I salute , and walk with that , With this I sing , with th' other chat , I 've none to catechise me , where , or what , Nor will be ty'd t' a Quaerist . Thus out of all , Pigmalion-like , My fancy limns a woman , To her I freely sacrifice , And rivall am by no man . A Maidens Deniall . NAy pish ! nay phew ! nay faith and will you ? A Gentleman , and use thus ! I le cry . Nay , Gods body , what means this ? nay fie for fie ! shame ; Nay faith away ! nay fie ! you are too blame ; Heark ! some body comes , hands off , I pray ; I le pinch , I le scratch , I le spurn , I le run away . Nay faith , you strive in vain , you shall not speed , You ma● my Ruff , you hurt my Back , I bleed . Look how the door stands ope , somebody ●ees ; Your buttons scratch , in faith you hurt my knees ; What will men say ? Lord , what a coyle is here ? You make me sweat yfaith , here 's goodly geer . Nay , faith , let me intreat you , if you lift , You mar my clothes , you tear my smock , but had I wift So much before , I would have shut you out . Is it a proper thing you go about ? I did not think you would have us'd me this ; But now I see I took my aime amisse . A little thing would make me not be friends : You 've us'd me well , I hope you 'l make amends ; Hold still , I le wip● your face , you sweat amain , You have got a goodly thing with all your pain ▪ Alas , how hot am I ? what will you drink ? If you go sweating down , what will men think ? Remember , Sir , how you hav● us'd me now , Doubtlesse ere long , I will be meet with you . If any man , but you , had us'd me so ▪ Would I have put it up ? in faith , Sir , no . Nay go not yet , stay here and sup with me , And then at cards we better shall agree . The Companion . 1. WHat need we take care for Platoni●k rules , Or the Precepts of Aristotle ? They that think to find learning in Books are but fools , True Philosophy lyes in the Bottle ; And a minde That 's confin'd To the mode of the Schooles , Nere arrives at the height of a pottle : Let the Sages Of our ages Keep a talking O● our walking Demurely , while we that are wiser Do abhor all That 's mortall In Plato And Cato , And Seneca talks like a S●zer . Chorus . Then let full Bowles on Bowles be hurl'd , That our Iollity may be compleat ; For Man , though he be but a very little world , Must be drowned as well as a great . 2. We 'll drink till our cheek●s be as starr'd as the skies , Let the pale colour'd Students flout us , And our noses like Comets set fire on our eyes , Till we beare the Horizon about us ; And if all Make us fall , Then our heeles shall devise What the Stars are a doing without us : Let Lilly Go tell y● Of wonders And thunders . Let Astrologers all divine , And let Booker Be a looker Of our natures In our features , He 'll find nothing but Claret in Wine . Chorus . Then let full Bowles , &c. On CANARY . 1. OF all the rare juices That Bacchus or Phaebus produces , There 's none that I can , or dare I Compare with the princely Canary . For this is the thing That a fancy infuses , The first got a King , The next the Nine Muses . 'T was this made old Poets so sprightly to sing , And fill all the world , with the glory & fame on 't , They Helicon call'd it , and the Thespian spring , But this was the drink , though they knew not the name on 't . 2. Our Cyder and Perry May make a man mad , but not merry ; It makes people wind-mill pated , And with Crotchets suffisticated , And your hops , yest and malt , VVhen they 're mingled together , Make our fancies to halt , Or reele any whither : It stuffs up our brains with froth and with yest , That if one would write but a verse for a Bel-man , He must study till Christmas for an eight shillings jest ; These liquors won't raise , but drown or o're-whelm man . 3. Our drowzy Matheglin ▪ VVas onely ordain'd to invegle in The Novice that knowes not to drink yet , But is fudled before he can think it : And your Claret and White Have a Gun-powder fury , They 're of the French sp'rite , But they won't long endure you . And your Holiday Muskadel ▪ Allegant and Tent , Have only this property & vertue that 's fit in'● , They 'l make a man s●●ep till a preachment be spent , But we neither can warm our blood not our wit in 't . 4. The Braggot and Rhinish You must with ingredients replenish , 'T is Wine to please Ladies and toyes with , But not for a man to rejoyce with ; But 't is Sack makes the sport , And who gains but the Flavor ? Though an Abbess he court , In his high shooes h●'l have her . 'T is this that advances the Drinker and Drawer , Though the Father come to town in his hobnailes and leather , He turnes it to Velvet , and brings up an Heire , In the town in his Chain , in the field with his Feather . A Song . YOu that in love do mean to spo●● , Tobacco , Tobacco , Take a wench of the meaner sort , Tobacco , Tobacco . But let her have a comely face Like one that comes of Venus race , Then take occasion , time and place To give her some Tobacco . Your Can with moysture must abound , Tobacco , Tobacco , Your Bullets must be plump and round , Tobacco , Tobacco . But if that you do please her well , Tobacco , Tobaecco , All others then you will excell , Tobacco , Tobacco . She will be ready at your call , And take Tobacco , Pipe , and all , So ready will she be to fall To tast your good Tobacco . Your Stopper must be stiff and strong , It must be large and long , Or else she sweares you do her wrong . She scorns your weak Tobacco . A Fancy . WHen Py-crust first began to reign , Cheese-parings went to warre , Red Herrings lookt both blew and wan , Green Leeks and Puddings jarre . Blind Hugh went out to see Two Cripples run a race , The Ox fought with the Humble Bee , And claw'd him by the face . A Lady's Prayer to Cupid . SInce I must needs into thy Schoole return , Be pitifull O Love I and do not burn Me with desire of cold , and frozen age , Nor let me follow a fond Boy , or Page ; But gentle Cupid give me , if thou can , One to my Love , whom I may call a man , Of Person comely , and of Face as sweet , Let him be sober , secret , and discreet , Well practis'd in Love's school ; let him within Wear all his haire , and none upon his Chin : An ODE . 1. COme noble Nymphs , and do not hide The joyes for which you so provide , If not , to mingle with us men ; What do you here ? go home agen : Your Dressings do confesse , By what we see so curious arts Of Pallace and of Parts , That you could mean no lesse : 2. Why do you wear the Silk-wormes toyles , Or glory in the Shelfish spoyles ? Or strive to shew the graines of Oare , That you have gathered long before , Whereof to make a Stoick , To graft the green Emrald on , Or any better water'd stone , Or Rubie of the Roick . 3. Why do you smell of Ambergreece , Whereof was formed Neptune's Neece , The queen of Love ? unlesse you can , Like sea-born Venus , love a Man : Try , put your self unto'r , Your lookes , and smiles , and thoughts that meet Ambrosian hands , and silver feet , Do promise you will do'● . A Song . MAy not an old age yet sing an April song ? Iug , Iug , Tru , Tru , sweet notes of Philomel , Come Iuno ! for to thee it doth belong , Up in Love's Syngraph , sacred Rites to seale . Iug , Iug , the plain song be of jugal love , Descant then Tru , Tru , as the Dance is led . Vertue will so in a sweet measure move , Xanthus his golden arm● shall open spread , Embracing fruitfull beauty to his bed . And to this Song let us sing , Ecchoing , Ecchoing . The Bridall Night . WHy art thou coy ( my L●da ) art not mine ? Hath not the holy Hymineall Twine Power to contract our Natures ? must I be Still interposed with needlesse modesty ? What though my former passions made me vow , You were an Angel ; be a Mortall now : The Bride-maids all are vanish'd , and the crew O Virgin Ladyes , that did wait on you , Have left us to our selves , as coy to be Injurious to our Loves wish'd privacy . Come then undresse ; why blush you ? prethee smile ; Faith I le dis-robe you , nay I will not spoile Your Necklace , or your Gorget , here 's a pin Pricks you ; fair Leda 't were a cruel sin Not to remove it ; oh how many gates Are to Elizium ! yet the sweetest Straits That ere made Voyage happy , here 's a lace Me thinks should stifle you ; it doth embrace Your body too severely , take a knife , 'T is tedious to undo it , by my life It shall be cut ; let your Carnation Gown Be pulld off too , and next let me pull down This Rosie petticoat ; what is this cloud That keeps the day-light from us , and 's allow'd More privivilege then I ? though it be white , 'T is not the white I aim at ( by this light ) It shall go off ( too ) No : then let ' ● alone . Come let 's to bed , why look you so ? here 's none Sees you but I ; be quick , or by this hand I le lay you down my self , you make me stand Too long●'th ' cold : why do you lye so far ? I le fellow you , this distance shall not bar Your body from me ; oh 't is well ! and now I le let thy Virgins innocence know how Kings propagate young Princes , Marriage bed● Never destroy , but erect Maiden-heads . A Song . AS Colin went forth his sheep to unfold , In a morning of April as gray as t was cold , In a thick●t he heard a voyce it self spread , Which was , Oh , oh , I am almost dead . He peep'd in the bushes , and spy'd where there lay His Mistress , whose countenance made April May ; But yet in her looks some sadness was read , Crying Oh , &c. He rush'd in unto her , & cry'd what 's the matter ? Ah Colin , quoth she , why will you come at her , Who by the false Swain hath oft been mislead ? To which , Oh , &c. He turn'd her Milk-paile , and down there he sat , H●s hand stroak'd his beard , on his knee hung his hat ; But yet still Mopsa cry'd , before ought was sed . Colin , Oh , oh , &c. Be God quoth stout Colin , I ever was true , Thou gav'st me a handkerchief all hemm'd with blew , A pin-box I gave thee , & a girdle so red , And yet she cry'd , Oh , &c. Delaying , quoth she , hath made me thus ill , I ever fear'd Sarah that dwelt at the mill , Since in the Evenings late her hogs thou hast fed . For which , Oh , oh , &c. Colin then chuckt her under the chin , Cleare up , for to love thee I never will lin ; Qd. she I le believe it when the Parson has read . Till then , Oh , oh , &c. Uds bores , quoth Colin , I le new clout my shoon , And ere a week pass , by the mass 't shall be done . You might have done before then , she said : But now , Oh , oh , &c. He gave her a twitch that quite turn'd her round , And said , I am the truest that ere trod on ground , Come settle thy milk-paile fast to thy head : No more Oh , oh , &c. Why then I perceive thou'●t not leave me in the lurch , I le don my best cloaths , and straight goe to Church . Jog on merry Colin , jog on before , For yfaith , yfaith I le dye no more . On an Old Woman . YEsterday I heard an old woman s●y , She had a great pain in her belly ; It was and a Cat , which caused that , And I am and ashamed to tell ye . The old woman she sat by the fire , And no body there to espy her , No body to see , but the cat and she , And she pull'd her coats up higher . She threw her legs asunder , And the cat she caught hold under . She had a thing there was , so like and a mouse That it made the cat to wonder . This thing it was not naked ; For a mouse the cat did take it ; O still it was so like and a mouse , That the cat would not forsake it . The old woman she cry'd out murder , And the cat she bit harder and harder , Oh quoth she , I fear I shall die Before I go any further . At this cry the neighbours did enter , And their skill and their strength they lent her ; At length they the cat , with much ado ga● From the bottom of th' old womans venter . The old woman she quaked and she quivered , and all her body shivered ; Quoth she I have often been brought to bed , But I never was thus delivered . A Colledge of Doctors . I pray Doctor Argent , a note in ●your margent , You are too far to have skill . But a little , God knows , doth serve for a Dose , Or on Apothecary's bill . You Dr. Tenant , that are a great Lieutenant Of Doctors with the Scots , I could tell you the cause , but I fear good wives pawes , Far more than your Gally-pots . And Doctor Taylor , a great prevailer , The favour of Ladyes to win . You tell-tales of pleasure , and to a haire take measure , Then put all honesty in . And Doctor Rawlins , for all your brawlings , You are but a scurvy leach , Poor , till 't was your chance , your self to advance By getting a widdow by th' bre●ch . Were he not a lyer , should say Doctor Fryer Did loue flesh more than skin ? Well now the old fool hath left the close-stool , Unto his Pupill Gugueen . Oh Dr. Elvin , though the hole you delv● in Be barren , and yeild no fruit ; 'T was a happy receit that made you to wait On the Black guard without a suit . Good Doctor Butler , like a Shefield Cutler , Your knife is in every sheath , Your brown bread chip fits a Ladyes l●p , You play not above , but beneath . For you Doctor Poe , your Physick's so , so , You plac'd your Clifter-pipe wrong , Though you cur'd Mrs. Rich of the leacherous itch . In the absence of spruice Mrs. Young . Whoop , whoop , Dr. Saul . what newes at Surgeons Hall ? The Simples that you use , You had them by rote from you Fathers old note , Or some Italian stewes . I know Doctor Li●ter , were 't his own sister , Must feel before he heale ; His reason is this , the pulse , more than pisse , Infirmities doth reveale . And a Doctor may feel , from head unto heel , To grope out healths decay ; Tell him of no shame , AEsculapius did the same , Health 's honest any way . What are you stirring , old Friend , Dr. H●rring ? 'T is physick to see you squint ; You creep like a snail , so hard bound ●'th ' tayle , That you sh●t as hard as a flint . How chance Dr. Torris now grown so sour is , Waxing weary of his life , 'T is because of the horn , why man think no scorn , The gain and pain comes by your wife . And Dr. Maben gives physi●k to women , They nev●r are begul'd ; Pills work apace , and he likes the place , That all of them prove with childe . Then Doctor Iordanus with porrige manus , What newes at Clerk●nwell : Here 's physick ●nd●ed , swea● , pu●ge ▪ & then bleed Most fitly , Doctor farewell . What have you got there , freind , Dr. Foster , A pricket or a sore ; Good faith t is your wife , now God save your life I thought it had been your whore . If there be a black Man Dr. Gifford's the man , My Muse abhors detractors ; From such I stand blest , for bad is the best , So farewell ba●dy Doctors . A SONG . FIne young folly , though you were That rare beauty , I did swear , Yet you nere came neare my heart ; For we Courtiers learn at schoole Onely with your sex to foole , You are not worth a serious part . When I sigh and kisse your hand , Crosse mine armes , and wondring stand , Holding parley with your eye , Next to dally with my desires , Sweare the Sun nere shot such ●ires ; All is but a handsome lye . When I eye your curled lace , Gentle soule , you think your face Streight some murther doth commit , When your conscience doth begin To grow scrupulous of sin , Then I court to shew my wit . Therefore , Madam , wear no cloud , Nor to check my love , grow proud ; For , in troth , I much do doubt 'T is the Powder in your haire , Not your breath , perfumes the aire : 'T is your cloathes that set you out . Yet for all this truth confest , And I swear I lov'd in jest : When I next begin to court , And protest an amorous flame . You 'll swear I in earnest●am . Beldame , this is pretty sport . On a Pinte-pot . 1. OLd Poets Hypocrene admire , And pray to Water to inspire Their Muses birth with heavenly fire ? Had they this seemly fountain seen , Sack both their Well and Muse had been , And this Pinte-pot their Hypocrene . 2. Had truly they considered it , They had , like me , thought it unfit , To pray to Water for their wit , And had ador'd Sack as divine , And made a Poet god of VVine , Then this Pinte-pot had been a shrine . 3. Sack unto them had been instead Of Nect●r , and the heavenly Br●●d , And every boy a G●nnimed . And had they made a God of it , And styl'd it Patron of their wit , This Pot had been a Temple fit . 4. Well then ( Companions ) is't not fit , Since to this Gem we owe our wit , That we should praise the Cabinet ? And drink a health to this divine mnd bounteour Palace of our VVine , Die he of thirst that doth repine ? On his deformed Mistress . ANd is not the Queen of Drabs , VVhose head is periwigg'd with scabs , VVhose hair● hangs down in curious flakes , Curled and crisp'd , like gentle snakes , The breath of whose perfumed locks Would choak the Devil , with a pox , VVhose dainty twinings did intice The whole monopoly of Lice , To her , who daily there are fed , The goodliest lice that ●re were bred ▪ Her fore-head next is to be found , Much like a piece of new-plough'd ground , Furrow'd with staires , whose winding lead Unto the ch●mney of her head . The next thing that my muse descryes , Are the two mill-pits of her eyes : Mill-pits , whose depth no heigth can sound , For there the God of Love was drown'd , On either side there was a souse , An Ear● , I mean kept open house , An care which alwaies there did dwell , And so the head kept sentinell , Which there was set for to descry , If any danger there was nigh : But I think danger there was bred , VVhich makes them so keep off her head . Something I 'm sure did cause their feares , Which makes them so to hang their cares : But hang her eares ; Thalia seeks To suck the bottles of her cheeks : Her cheeks ! who●e pride do make them rise , Contending to out face her eyes : Upon her cheeks I 'd longer stay , But that her nose calls me away . Her nose , on which all beauty s●e , Her Indian Ruby nose , that 's flat . Help Muses now I have begun , That like her nose my verse may run . Help , Fury's never given to flatter , I know her nose affordeth matter : For on her nose there hangs , I wot , A curious pearle of Chrystall snot , As purely white , as whitest rose , A dainty Gem for such a nose . But now , methinks , Thalia skip● , Intending to salute her lips : Although she feares her lips are such , 'T is almost p●in of death to touch : I 'd wish the Devil so much blisse , Those , daily to be damn'd , to kisse . But where shall I finde words enough To rake the kennel of her mouth ? Whose wryness , with a certain g●●ce Sets out the beauty of her face ; Whose dreaming gapings might afright The lust of Incubus at night , And Succubus might be afraid Hereafter to come near a maid , Where out in curiou● postures hung The spungy fly-flap of her tongue , As if that Nature did contrive To hang her , while she was alive . Her teeth were fix'd like Eagles clawes , Upon the ruines of her jawes , Which there were plac't like pikemen tall , Something inclining to the fall , Whose ripn'd age did yeild them mellow , The curious gold was not so yellow . I think she took them by descent From father Adam , whose intent was , that his teeth should be intail'd Unto his heirs , that never fail'd . Her chin a little lower stands Much like the cape of Bon esperance . Which Nature kind extended so , To point her way when she doth go . Come Muses at Apollo's beck ▪ And wreath a halter for her neck . Her neck was next , which might have bin A fit supporter for her chin . But Nature , to supply her lack , Has drawn her neck unto her back . The Hunters Song . 1. LOng ere the morn Expects the return Of Apollo , from the ocean Queen , Before the creak Of the Crow , and the break Of the Day , in the Welkin seen , Mounted he 'd hollow , And cheerfully follow To the Cha●● with his Bugle cle●r , Eccho he makes , And the mountaines shakes VVith the thunder of his Careere . 2. Now bonny Bay In his Son waxeth gray . Dapple gray waxeth bay in his blood : VVhite L●lly stops , VV●th the scent in her chops , And the black Lady makes it good . Poor silly Wat In this wretched state , Forgets these delights for to hear , Nimbly she bounds From the cry of the Hounds , And the musique of their Careere . 3. Hill● , with the heat Of the Gallopers sweat , Reviving their frozen ●ops , Dales purple flowers That springs with the showers , That down from the rowels drops , Swaines their repast And Strangers their hast , Neglect when the hornes they do hear , To see a fleet Pack of Hounds in a sheet , And the Hunter in his Careere . 4. Thus he careeres , Over moores , over meeres , Over deeps , over downs , over clay , Till he hath won The noon from the morn , And the evening from the day . Sports then he ends , And joyfully wends Home to his Cottage , where Frankly he feasts Himself and his guests , And carouses in his Careere . To his FRIEND ; A Censure of the Poets . MY dearly loved friend , how oft have we In winter evenings , meaning to be free ▪ To some well-chosen place us'd to retire , And there , with moderate meat & wine , & fire , Have pass'd the hours contentedly with chat , Now talk of this , and then discourse of that ? Spake our own Verses 'twixt our selves , if not , Other mens lines , which we by chance had got ; Or some stage pieces , famous long before , Of which your happy memory had store : And I remember you much pleased were , Of those that lived long ago to heare , As well as of those of those of later times , Who have enricht our Language with their Rimes ; And in succession how still up they grew , Which is the subject that I now pursue : For from my cradle , you must know , that I Was still inclin'd to noble Poesie ; And when that once Pueriles I had read , And newly had my Cato construed , In my sma●l self I greatly mervail'd then , Amongst all other , what strange kind of men Those Po●ts were , and pleased with the name , To my mild Tutor merrily I came : For I was ●hen a proper goodly Page , Much like a P●gmy , scarce ten yeares of age , Clasping my slander armes about his thigh , O my dear Master I cannot you , quoth I , Make me a Poet ? do it , if you can ▪ And you shall see I le quickly be a man : Who me thus answer'd smiling , Boy , quoth he , If you 'l not play the wag , but I may see You ply your learning , I will shortly read Some Poets to you , Ph●bus be my speed . To 't hard w●nt I , when shortly he began , And first read to m● honest Mantuan , Then Virgils Eclogues , being entred thus ▪ Methoughts I straight had mounted Pegasus , And in his full careere could make him stop , And bound upon Parnassus high clift top : I scorn●d your Ballad then , though it were done , And had for finis , William Elderton . But soft in sporting with this childish jest , I from my subject have too large digrest . Then to the matter that we took in hand , Iove and Apollo for the Muses stand , That noble Chaucer in those former times , That did enrich our English with his Rimes , And was the first of ours that ever brak● Into the Muses treasure , and first spake In weighty number , d●●ving in the Mine Of perfect knowledge , which he could refine , And coyn for currant , and as much as then The English Language could express to men ; He made to do onely his wondrous skill Gave us much light from his abundant quill : And honest Gower , who in respect of him , Had onely sipt at Aganippe's brim ; And though in yeares this last was him before , Yet fell he far short of the others store ; When after those four ages , very near , They with the Muses which conversed were . That princely Surrey , early in the time Of the eighth Henry , who was in the prim● Of England's noble youth , with him there cam Wyat with reverence , whom we still do name Amongst our Poets . Brian had a share With the two former , which accounted are The times best makers , and the authors were Of those small Poets , which the title bear● Of Songs and Sonnets , wherein oft they hit On many dainty passages of wit . Gascoign and Churchyard after them again , In the beginning of Eliza's raign , Accounted w●re great meeters many a day , But not inspired with brave fire , had they Liv'd but a little longer , they had seen Their works before them to have buried been . Grave Spencer shortly after th●se came on , Then whom I am perswaded there was none , Since the blind Bard his Iliads up did make , Fitter a task like that to undertake To set down boldly , bravely to inden● In all high knowledge finely excellent . The noble Sidney with this last arose , That H●ro for Numbers and for Prose , That through●y pac'd our Language ▪ 〈◊〉 to shew That plenteous English hand in hand might go With Greek and Latin , and did first reduce , Our tongues from Lilly's writing , then in use , Talking of Stones , Stars , Plants , of Fishes , Flies , Playing with Words and idle Similice , As th' English Apes , and very Zanie● be , Of every thing that they do hear and see ; So imitating his ridiculous tricks , They speak and write all like meer Lunaticks . Then Warner , though his lines were not so trimm'd , Nor yet his Poem so exactly limn'd , And neatly joynted ; but the Critick may Easily reprove him , yet thus let me say For my old friend , some passages there be , In which I doe protest ●hat I doe see , With almost wonder , so fine , cleare and new , As yet they have been equalled by few . N●xt Marlow bathed in the Thespian springs , Had in him those brave translunary things That your fi●st Poets had , his raptures were All aire and fi●e , which made his verses clear ; For that fine madnesse still he did retain , VVhich rightly should possesse a Poets brain . And surely Nash though he a Proser were A branch of Laurel , yet deserves to bear Sharply Satyrick was he , and that way He went , since that , his beeing to this day , Few have attempted , and I surely think Those words shall hardly be 〈◊〉 down in ink . Shall scorch and blast , so as his cold , when he Would inflict vengeance , and be it said of thee , Shakespeare , thou hadst a smooth & comid● vain , Fitting the ●ock , and in thy naturall brain As strange conception , and as clear a rage As any one that traffiqu'd with the stage . Amongst these Samuel Daniel , whom I May speak of , but censure do d●ny ▪ Onely have heard some wi●e men him rehearse , To be too much Historian in Verse ; His Rimes were smooth , his Meetres well did close , But yet his Mateers better fitted Pr●se . Next these , learn'd Iohnson in this List I bring , Who had drunk deep of the Pierian spring , Whose knowledge did him worthily prefer , And long was Lord here of the Theater , Who in opinion made our learn'dst to stick , Whether in Poems rightly dramatique : Strong Seneca or Pla●tus , he or they , Should bear the Buskin , or the Sock away . Others again , there lived in my dayes , That have of us deserved no lesse praise For their Translations , than the daintiest wit , That on Parnassus thinks he high doth sit , And for a cha●re may amongst the Muses call , As the most curious maker of them all : But as reverent Chapman , who hath brought to us Musaeus , Homer , and Hesiodus , Out of the Greek , and by his skill hath rear'd Them to that height , and to our tongue indear'd , That were those Poets at this day alive , To see their Books , that with us thus survive , They would think , having neglected them so long They had bin written in the English tongue ; And Silvester , who from the French more weak , Made Bartas on his six dayes labour , speak In naturall English , who , had he there been stay'd . He had done well , and never had bewray'd His own invention , to have been too poor , Who still writ lesse , in striving to write more . Then dainty Sands , that hath to English done , Smooth sliding Ovid , and hath made him one , With so much sweetness , and unusuall grace , As though the neatness of the English pace Should tell your setting Latin , that it came But slowly after , as though stiff or lame ; So Scotland sent us hither for our own , That man whose name I even would have known To stand by mine , that most ingenious Knight , My Alexander , to whom in his right , I want extreamly , yet in speaking thus , I do but shew that love that was 'twixt us , And not his numbers , which were brave & high , So like his minde , was his clear Po●sie : And my dear Drummond , to whom much I owe For his much love , and proud I was to know His Poesie , for which two worthy men , I Minstry still shall love , and Hauthornden : Then Beamont , Fletcher , and my Brown , arose , My dear Companions , whom I freely chose , My bosom-friends , and in their severall wayes Rightly born Poets , and in these last dayes , Men of much note , and no lesse nobler parts , Such as to me , as freely could their hearts As I turn mine to them , but if you shall Say in your knowledge , that these are not all Have writ in numbers , be inform'd that I Onely wy self to these few men do tye , Whose works oft printed , set on every post , To publique censure , subject have been most ; For such whose Poems , be they nere so rare , In private chambers that incloyster'd are , And by transcription daintily must go , As though the world unworthy were to know Their rich composures , let those men that keep These wondrous reliques in their judgements deep , And cry them up , so let such pieces be Spoke of by those that shall come after me : I passe not for them , nor do mean to run In quest of those , that their applause have won Upon our Stages in these later dayes , That are so many ; let them have the bayes That have deserved it ; let those wits that haunt Those publique circuits , may they freely chaunt Their fine composures , and their praise pursue , And so ( my dear friend ) for this time adieu . Reasons to Hate . PRethee die and set me free , Or else be Brisk and blithe , and gay like me . I pretend not , I pretend not to the wise ones , To the grave , nor the precise ones . Prethee why the room so dark ? Not a spark , For to light me to the mark ? I le have day-light , or a candle , For to see , For to see as well as handle . Prethee why these bolts and locks , Coats and smock● , And these drawers , with a pox ? I would have , could Nature make it , Nakednesse , Nakednesse it selfe more naked . There is neither art nor itch In thy breech , Nor provoking hand nor speech ; But when I expect a motion , Fast asleep , Fast asleep , or at devotion . If then a Mistresse I must have , Wise and grave , Let her so her self behave , All the day long Susan Civil , Pap by night , Pap by night , or some such Devil . Oh the most unhappy life , Full of strife , 'Twixt Sir Fredrick and his wife , For as true as I 'm a sinner , They have no They have no meat for their dinner . Duns his face looks old and ill , And yet still She struts and paints , and hopes to kill ; But if 't were not for her table , She were not , She were not considerable . Take a Lady in the grasse , Clap her — — her well and let her passe ; Upon the bed then let her tumble , Put it in , Put it in she 'l never grumble . King Arthur . WHen Arthur first in Court began , And was approved King a , He bought his wife a peck of m●●l● To make a bag pudding a. When Arthur first in Court began , His men wore hanging sleev●● a , If all be true that I have heard , They were three errant theeves a. The first he was a Miller good , The second he was a Weaver a , The third he was a Taylor good , And they were three theeves together a. The Miller he stole Grist enough , The Weaver he stole Yarn a , The Taylor he stole good broad Cloath To keep these three theeves warm a. When Arthur first in Court began , And was approved King a , He kickt the Fidlers out of doores Because they could not sing a. Constant Affection . SEt forty thousand on a row , My Love will make the greatest shew ; But I for my part have chosen one , And I le have my Love , or I le have none . I bought my Love a paire of shoon As black as jet , with shooties blew ; She put them on , and away she 's flown , Yet I le have , &c. Into some far Countrey I le go , And pine my self with care and woe , And sigh to think what I have done , Yet I le have , &c. For who can love so true as I , Who am more than sick , yet cannot die ? My heart is broke , my delight is gone , Yet I le have , &c. And when my love she thus hath try'd , I 'm sure her self she 'l nere abide , But finde me out , and bring me home , Then I le have , &c. Theodora . MY Theodora , Can those eyes , From which those glories shine , Give light to every soule that pryes , And onely be obscur'd to mine ? Who willingly my heart resign , Enflam'd by you to be your sacrifice . Let but one ray inrich my soule , And chase this gloomy shade That doth in clouds about me rowle , And in my breast a hell hath made , Where fire still burns still flames invade , And yet light 's power & comfort doth controul . Then out of gratitude I le send Some of my flames to thee . Thus lovingly our wits we 'l blend , And both in Joyes shall wealthy be , Then Love , though blinde , shall learn to see , Since you can eyes to me and Cupid land . A Song made when King Charles was at Plymouth . 1. A Riddle a Riddle me neighbor Iohn ▪ Whore ich c have late a been a ? Me c have a been to Plymouth mon , The leck was nere a zeen a ; Zuch streets , zuch men , zuch hugiou● zea● , And Guns , with things that tumbling , Thy zell wea me , would blesse to zee Zuch bomination jumbling . 2. The streets ore-laid with shindle stone , Do glysney leck the zea a , Brays shops stand open ole day long , Ich think a Vare , that bee a. And many a gallant man ther goeth In goold , that zaw the King a ; The King , zom zware , himzell was thar , A Mon , or zom zuch thing a. 3. Amidst the zeas wear vleeing burd , And wooden houzes zwim a , As vull of goods , as ich have hard , Wea men up to the brim a : the venter to another world , Desiring to conquer a , Vor thar hugh Guns ar divilish ones , Do dunder and spa● veer a. 4. Voole , thou that haft no water past , But that below the Moore a , To zee the zea woudst be agast , It do zo rage and roare a. It is zo zolt , thy tongue would think The veer war in the water ; It is zo wide no lond's espide , Look nare zo long tharater . 5. Thick water vro the Element , None can discern che vor a , It zeemeth low , yet ole do ze 'T is higher than the Moore a : 'T is strange how looking up the cleve , Man shud look downward rather , And if tha chad not zeet my zell , Chud scarce beleev'd my vather . 6. Oh neighbor Iohn , how var is that ? Our Mizen ●ar I hill leave a , I hill mop no longer there , that 's vlat , To wash a zheep , or zeer a , Tho it zo var as London be , Which is ten miles cha magin , I hill thither his , and thick place I , I hill hold in great in dudgine . Against Fruition . STay here ( fond youth ) and ask no more , be wise , Knowing too much , long since lost Paradise : The vertuous joyes thou hast , thou would'st should still Last in their pride , and would'st not take it ill , If rudely from sweet Dreames , and for some Toy Th'wert wak'd ? he makes himself that does injoy . Fruition addes no new wealth , but destroyes , And while it pleases much , the palate cloyes . VVho thinks he is the happier for that , As reasonably might hope he should grow fat . By eating unto surfeit this once past , VVhat relishes ? Even kisses lose their taste : Urge not as necessary ; alas we know , The homeliest thing which mankinde does , is so . The world is of a vast extent we see , And must be peopled ; Children then must be , So must be bread to , but since there are enow Born to the drudgery ; what need we plow ? VVomen enjoy'd , whatsoer's before t'have been Are like Romances read , or Playes once seen ; Fruition 's dull , and spoyles the Play much more , Than if we read , or knew the plot before . 'T is Expectation makes a Blessing deare , It were not heaven , if we knew what it w●re . And as in Prospects we are then pleas'd most , When something keeps the eye from being lost And leaves us room to guesse , to hear restrain● , Hold up delight , that with excesse would faint . They who know all the wealth they have , are poore , He 's truly rich , that cannot tell his store . A SONG . ALl you that desire to merry be , Come listen unto me , And a story I shall tell , Which of a Wedding befell , Between Arthur of Bradley And Winifred of Madly . As Arthur upon a day Met Winifred on the way , He took her by the hand , Desiring her to stand , Saying I must to thee recite A matter of weight , Of Love , that conquers Kings , In grieved hearts so rings , And if thou do'st love thy Mother , Love him that can love no other . Which is Oh brave Arthur , &c For in the month of May , Maidens they will say , A May-pole we must have , Your helping hand we crave . And when it is set in the earth , The maids bring Sully-bubs forth ; Not one will touch a sup , Till I begin a cup . For I am the end of all Of them , both great and small . Then tell me yea , or nay , For I can no longer stay . With oh brave Arthur , &c. Why truly Arthur quoth she , If you so minded be , My good will I grant to you , Or any thing I can do . One thing I will compell , So ask my mothers good will ▪ Then from thee I never will flye , Unto the day I do dye . Then homeward they went with speed , Where the mother they met indeed . Well met fair Dame , quoth Arthur , To move you I am come hither , For I am come to crave , Your daughter for to have , For I mean to make her my wife , And to live with her all my life . With oh brave Arthur , &c. The old woman shreek'd and cry'd , And took her daughter aside , How now daughter , quoth she , Are you so forward indeed , As for to marry he , Without consent of me ? Thou never saw'st thirteen year , Nor art no● able , I fear , To take any over-sight , To rule a mans house aright . Why truly mother , quoth she , You are mistaken in me ; If time do not decrease , I am fifteen yeares at least . With oh brave Arthur , &c. Then Arthur to them did walk , And broke them of their talk , I tell you Dame , quoth he , I can have as good as thee ; For when death my father did call , He then did leave me all His barrels and his brooms , And a dozen of woden spoones , Dishes six or seven , Besides an old spade , even A brasse pot and whimble , A pack-needle and thimble , A pudding prick and reele , And my mothers own sitting wheele ; And also there fell to my lot A goodly mustard pot . With oh brave Arthur , &c. The old woman made a rep●y , With courteous modesty , If needs it must so be , To the match I will agree . For death doth m● call , I then will leave her all ; For I have an earthen flaggon , Besides a three-quart noggin , With spickets and fossets five , Besides an old bee hive ; A wooden ladle and maile , And a goodly old clouting paile ; Of a chaff bed I am well sped , And there the Bride shall be wed , And every night shall wear A bolster stufft with haire , A blanket for the bride , And a winding sheet beside , And hemp , if he will it break , New curtaines for to make . To make all too , I have Stories gay and brave . Of all the world so fine , With oh brave eyes of mine . With oh brave Arthur , &c. When Arthur his wench obtained , And all his suits had gained , A joyfull man was he , As any that you could see . Then homeward he went with speed , Till he met with her indeed . Two neighbours then did take To bid guests for his sake ; For dishes and all such ware , You need not take any care . With oh brave , &c. To the Church they went apace , And wisht they might have grace , After the Parson to say , And not stumble by the way ; For that was all their doubt , That either of them should be out . And when that they were wed , And each of them well sped , The Bridegroom home he ran , And after him his man , And after him the Bride , Full joyfull at the tyde , As she was plac'd betwixt Two yeomen of the Guests , And he was neat and fine , For he thought him at that time Sufficient in every thing , To wait upon a King . But at the doore he did not miss To give her a smacking kiss . With oh brave Arthur , &c. To dinner they quickly gat , The Bride betwixt them sat , The Cook to the Dresser did call , The young men then run all , And thought great dignity To carry up Furmety . Then came leaping Lewis , And he call'd hard for Brewis , Stay , quoth Davy Rudding , Thou go'st too fast with th' pudding . Then came Sampson Seal , And he carry'd Mutton and Veal ; The old woman scolds full fast , To the Cook she makes great hast , And him she did controul , And swore that the Porridge was cold . With oh brave , &c. My Masters a while be brief , Who taketh up the Beef ? Then came William Dickins , And carries the Snipes & Chickens . Bartholmew brought up the Mustard , Caster he carry'd the Custard . In comes Roger Boore , He carry'd up Rabbet● before : Quoth Roger I le give thee a C●ke , If thou wilt carry the Drake . Speak not more nor less , Nor of the greatest mess , Nor how the Bride did carve , Nor how the Groom did serve . With oh brave Arthur , &c. But when that they had din'd , Then every man had Wine ; The maids they stood aloof , While the young men made a proof , VVho had the nimblest heele , Or who could dance so well , Till Hob of the hill fell over , And over him three or four , Up he got at last , And forward about he past ; At Rowland he kicks and grins , And he William ore the shi●s ; He takes not any offence , But fleeres upon his wench . The Piper he play'd Fadding , And they ran all a g●dding . With oh brave Arthur , &c. A SONG . 1. THe fourteenth of September I very well remember , When people had eaten and fed full , Many men , they say , Would needs go see a Play , But they saw a great rout at the red Bull . 2. The Soldiers they came , ( The blinde and the lam● ) To visit and undo the Players ; And women without Gowns , They said they would have Crowns ; But they were no good Sooth-sayers . 3. Then Io : Wright they met , Yet nothing could get , And Tom Iay●' th' same condition : The fire men they Wou'd ha' made 'em a prey , But they scorn'd to make a petition . 4. The Minstrills they Had the h●p that day , ( Well fare a very good token ) To keep ( from the chase ) The fiddle and the case , For the instruments scap'd unbroken . 5. The poor and the rich , The whore and the bitch , Were every one at a losse , But the Players were all Turn'd ( as weakest ) to the wall , And 't is thought had the grea●●st losse . You must supppose it to be Easter holidayes ; for now Sisly and Doll , Kate and Peg , Moll and Nan , are marching to Westminster with two Prentices before them , who goe swinging their Muckenders in one hand , and now and then give a wipe to their greazy foreheads : at the door they meet a crowd of Wapping Sea-men , Kent-street Broom-men , together with the inhabitants of the Bank-side , with a Butcher or two prickt in among them ; There a while they stand gaping for the Master of the Show ; presently they hear the keyes ring , which rejoyces them more than the sound of the Pancake-bell ; and he peeping over the sp●kes , and beholding such a learned Auditory , opens the gates of Paradise , and by that time they are half got into the first Chappel ( for you must consider they cannot go all in at once , and the man he 's in hast ) he lifts up his voyce among the Tombs , and begins his lurry in manner and form following . HEre lyes William de Valence , A right good Earl of Pambroke , And this is his Monument which you s●● , I le swear upon a Book . He was High Marshall of England , When Harry the third did raign Full out four hundred yeares from hence , But he 'll nere be so again . Here the Lord Edward Talbot lyes , The Earle of Shrewsbury , Together with his Countess faire , Whom he did ocupy . The next to him there lyeth one Sir Richard Peckeshal hight , Of whom we alwayes first do say , He was a Hampshire Knight . And now to tell you more of him There lyes under this Stone His two wives , and his daughters four , Of whom I knew not one . Sir Bernard Brockhurst there doth lye , Lord Chamberlain to Queen Anne , She was Richard the second's queen , And he was King of Englan . Sir Francis Hollis ; the Lady Francis , The sam● was Suffolk's Dutchess , Two children of Edward the third , Here lye in Death's cold clutches . This is King Edward the third's brother , Of whom our Records tell Nothing of note , nor say they whether He be in heaven or hell . This same is Iohn of Eldeston , And he was Earl of Cornwall , This is the Lady Phillis Mohun , No doubt but she made horns well . At first she was Dutchess of York , And then the Wife also Of Edward Duke of York : and this Two hundred and thirty years ago . The Lady Anne Rosse , but note ye well , That she in Childbed dy'd ; The Lady Marquess of Winchester Lyes buried by her side . Now think your penny will spent good folks , And that you are not beguil'd , Within this cup doth lye the heart Of a French Embassador's childe . Nor can I tell how it came to passe , On purpose , or by chance , The bowels they lye underneath , The body is in France . The Countess of Oxford & her mother , The good old Lady Bourleigh , And that 's her daughter , another Countesse , Asunder these not far lye . These once were bonny Dames ; and though There were no coaches then , Yet they their breeches jogg'd themselves , Or had them jogg'd by men . But wo is me , those high-born sinners That wont to work so stoutly , Are now laid low , and 'cause they cann't , Their Statues pray devoutly . This is the Dutchess of Somerset , The Lady Anne by name , Wife to the Duke of Somerset , Duke Edward of great fame . She liv'd in Edward the sixt's time , So long ago 't was since , How long ago was that , I pray ? Her Husband protected the Prince . And underneath this stone doth lye Sir Robert Cecils L●dy low . Mother to th' Earl of Salisbury ; And then cry'd one , It may be so : In this fair Monum●nt which you see Adorn'd with so many pillars , Doth lye the Countess of Buckingham And her Husband , Sir George Villers . To the late Duke of Buckingham , ( We nere spake of his Brother ) This old Sir George was Grandfather , And the Countess his Grandmother , Sir Robert Eatam a Scotch Knight , And he was Secretary To both of our late Queens so great , Queen Anne , and then Queen Mary . This was the Countess of Lenox , Iclep'd the Lady Marget , She was King Iames's Grandmother , Which Death I doubt did forget . This was Queen Mary , Queen of Scots , By more then her husband bedded ▪ King Iames's Grandmother at the Castle Of Fothringham beheaded . The Mother of Henry the seventh This is , that lyeth hard by ; She was the Countess , know ye well , Of Richmond and Darby . Henry the seventh here doth lye , VVith his fair Queen beside him , He was the Founder of this Chappel , Oh may no ill betide him ! Therefore his Monument 's in bras● , The cost was nere the lesse ; The Duke of Richmond and Lenox , Lies there with his Dutchess . And here they stand upright in a presse , With bodies made of wax , With a globe and a wand in either hand And their robes upon their backs . General Ireton and his Lady Are here the spoyles of Death ; And also two of his children ; This must be said in a breath . Here lyes the Duke of Buckingham , And the Dutches his wife , Whom Felton stabb'd at Portsmouth town , And so he lost his life . Two children of King Iames these are , Nor do our Records vary , Sophia in the cradle lies , And this is the Lady Mary . And this is Queen Elizabeth , How the Spaniards did infest her ; Her Body 's here bury'd with Queen Mary , And now she agrees with her Sister , Old Devereux , Earle of Essex , Stands there with his Buff coat , The Parliaments first Generall , And very stoutly he fought . To another Chappel now come we ; Tho people follow and chat . This is the Lady Cottington , And the people cry , WHO 's THAT ? This is the Lady Francis Sidney , The Countess of Sussex is she , And this the Lord Dudley Carleton is , And then they look up and see . Sir Thomas Bromley lyeth here , And eight of his children , Four daughters , and four sons also , Both women grown and men . The next is Sir Iohn Fullerton , And this is his Lady I trow , And this is Sir Iohn Puckering , With his fine Bed-fellow . That in the middle is th' Earl of Bridgewater , Who makes no use of his bladder , Although his Countesse lye so nere him : And so we go up a ladder . King Edward the first a gallant blade , Lies under-neath this Stone ; And this is the chair which ●e did bring , A good while ago , from Scone , In this same Chair , till now of late , Our Kings and Queens were crown'd ; Vnder this Chair another stone Doth lye upon the ground . On that same stone did Iacob sleep , Instead of a Down pillow ; And after that 't was hither brought By some good honest fellow . King Richard the second he lyes here ; And his first Queen , Queen Anne . Edward the third lyes here hard by , Oh he was a gallant man . For this was his two-handed Sword , A blade both true and trusty , With which he conquer'd France ; cries one , Good Sir 't is very rusty . Feel but the weight on 't in your hand ; Who now with this can fight ? And then the petticoats and wastcoats , Do wonder at his might . Here a lyes again with 's Queen , Queen Philip , A Dutch woman by Record , But that 's all one , for now alas , His P-'s not so long as his Sword . King Edward the Confessor lyes Within this Monument fine ; This Monument was made before William the Conqueror's time . There lyes Harry the fifth , and there Doth lye Queen Elenor ; She was Edward the first's wife , Which is more than ye knew before . Henry the third here lyes ●n●omb'd He was Herb John in Pottage , Little he did , but still reigned on , Although his sons were at ag● . Fifty six yeares he reigned King , Ere he the Crown would lay by , Onely we praise him , 'cause he was Last builder of the Abbey . There 's General Popham , and his Lady , A very fine device a , If more ye ask concerning him , The D. a jot can I say . Here Thomas Cecil lyes , who 's that ? Why 't is the Earle of Exeter , And this his Countesse is ; Good Lady , To die how it perplexed her . Here Henry Cary , Lord Hunsdon rests , Though a makes a noyse with his name ; This man was Chamberlain unto Queen Elizabeth , of great fame . And here one William Colchester Lyes , of a certainty , An Abbot he was of Westminster , And he that sayes no , doth lye . This is the Bishop of Durham , Much bigger then a Fairie , Henry the seventh lov'd him well , And made him his Secretary . Sir Thomas Ruthal , what of him ? Poor Gentleman , not a word , Onely they bury'd him here ; but now Behold that man with a sword . Humphrey de Bohun , who though he were Norborn with me in the same town , Yet I can tell he was Earl of Essex , Of Hereford , and Northampton . He was High Constable of England , As History well expresses , But now pretty maids be of good cheere , We 're going up to the Presses . And now the Presses open stand , And ye see them all a row , But more is never said of these , Than what is said below . Henry the seventh and his fair Queen , Edward the first and his Queen , Henry the fifth here stands upright , And his good wife was this queen , The noble Prince , Prince Henry , King Iames's eldest Son , King Iames , Queen Anne , Qu. Elsabeth , And so this Chappel's done . Now down the staires come we againe , The man goes first with a staff , Perchance one tumbles down two steps , And then they all do laugh . This is the great Sir Francis Vere , That so the Spaniards curry'd ; Four Colonels support his Arms , And here h●s body's bury'd . That Statu against the wall with one ey , Is Major Generall Norrice ; He beat the Spaniards cruelly , As is affirm'd in Stories . His six sons there hard by him stand , Each one was a Commander , And play'd such pranks as nere was known , To rescue the Hollander . And there doth Sir George Hollis rest , Brother to th' Earle of Clare , For which when first they tell me , One louse I doe not care . But he hath something else to fame him , For he was Major Generall To Sir Iohn Norrice , that brave blade . And so they go to dinner all . For now the Shew is at an end , All things are done and said ; The Citizen payes for his wife , And the Prentice for the maid . When th' are got out , they stare about , And they spie against the wall One with a pole-ax in his hand , The greatest foole of all . For he his Land did give away , But no man knowes wherefore , And he made the Common-wealth his Heire , Like Flora the great Whore . A Pastorall Song . 1. A Silly poor Sheepherd was folding his sheep , He walked so long , he got cold in his feet , He laid on his coales by two and by three , The more he laid on The cuc-colder was he . 2. But alas , good wife what shall we do now ? To buy some more fewell We 'll sell the brown cow , To buy some more coales , to warm thee and me ; But the more he laid on the cuc-colder was he . 3. Some sheepherds , quoth she , themselves can warm keep , By fleecing their flock , and by folding their sheep , But when you come home with your tar-box & crook , It grieves me to see how cuc-cold you doe look . 4. Alas ( wife ) I walk through dew , dirt and mire , While you perhaps warm your self without fire , With a friend in a corner , in such a sort , as whereby , The warmer you are , the cuc-colder am I. A Medly . 1. I Sow'd my Seed In a pleasant Field , And it grew apace ; A blessed Harvest There was found , To my disgrace ; And for to reap it I durst not stay . My seed is sown , I 'm overthrown , I must run away . 2. To climb a tree Where no boughes be , But smooth withall . I fain would enter , But I dare not venter For fear of fall . But above her knees Sir you may not go , For being a stranger , You may not ranger , There will come danger in climbing so . 3. Her milk white brest , So neatly drest , And all things neat , Her leg and foot , And all things to 't , Were made compleat , VVith her yellow haire , sir , when she wa● young That when I kist her , Her eyes did glister As 't were the Sun . A Medly . COme all you Maids that list to marry , And you that Husbands want , I wish you not long to tarry , For Husbands are grown scant . Some are grown provident , And others all for riches , That well is she that is content With the linings of one's — . Breed up your children to schoole , For that 's the best way to teach you●● And let them not play the foole , But let them consider the truth . For Girles they will caper and kick , Oh how they will range about , And a wench that is fifteen yeares old Good Lord how she longs for a — Prick her out her work , And let her Bone-lace weave . For when that you most think of them , They will you most deceive . And you shall never gain a penny , But still they will be plucking ▪ And think that they shall never have Their bellies full of — . Furmity is dainty cheere , And Fish it must be spent Sir , But H. doth swear he 'd rather have The belly of a pretty — . Wenches ye do me great wrong . Which makes me the ruffer to wrinkle , And had I not been very strong . She had caught fast hold of my — . Pinching doth not go by strength , Therefore you must leave off Sir , If you had seen her lye at length , Then you had seen brave sport Sir . Brave Iack of Winchester had a fine dog , The finest that ever was seen , He gave it to his Mistress To bear her company . This Dog was u●'d to run by her side , When she was going to hunt , And all the night long it lay in the bed A lick●ng about her — . Come hu●band , away with this filthy curre , It makes my fl●sh to rise , He left off all , and to her did fall , And slipt between her — Thine or mine , for a pinte of wine , And we 'l have it for supper : Had you but seen her stretcht at length , How strongly he did — her . The Ioviall Tinker . THere was a Lady in this Land , She lov'd a Gentleman , She could not tell what excuse to make To have him now and then . But writ a Letter to him , And seal'd it with her hand , Bid him become a Tinker , To clout both pot and pan . And when he had the Letter , Full well he could it read , His Brass and his Budget Then strait did he provide . His Hammer and his Pinsors , And well they did agree , With a long Club on his back , And orderly came he . And when he came to th' Ladies gates He knocked most hastily● Then who is there , the Porter sayes , That knocks thus ruggedly ? I am a ●oviall Tinker , And I work for gold and fee , If you have any broken brasse Bring it here unto me . I am the joviall'st tinker Betwixt this town and London , At mending of a pot or pan , Or clouting of a Caldron . My Brass is in my Budget , And my Rivets under my Apron , I pray you tell her Ladysh●p I am come to clout her Caldron . Madam yon is the strongest tinker Betwixt this town and London , He prayes me tell your Ladyship He is come to clout your Caldron . O go thy wayes good Porter , And let the tinker in , For I have work for him to do , And money he may gain . And when he came into the hall , Upon him she did wink , Sayes take him into the buttery , And make the knave to drink . Such meat as we do eat , she sayes , And such drink as I use , For it is not any Tinkers guise Good liquor to refuse . She took the Tinker by the hand , Her work for him to show , And down fast by the Caldron side Laid he the Lady low . And gave to her a hammer All in her hand to knock — That her own wedded Lord might think The Tinker was at work . She put her hand into her purse , And pluckt out five good Mark , Said , take thee this good Tinker , And for thy good days work ; She took the Tinker by the hand , Her wedded Lord to show , Sayes , here is the joviall'st tinker That ever I did know . This is the joviall'st tinker , And the dearest of his work , For he 'll not drive a nail to th' head , But he must have a Mark . If you had been so wise Mad●m , As I had thought you had bin , Before you had set him on work You would have agreed with him . Pray hold your peace , good wedded Lord , Think not of his work too dear , For if you could do it but half so well , 'T would save forty Mark a year . And be not thou too long tinker , And look not for any sending , For if thou stay too long away My Caldron will want mending . The admirable Song of Tom and VVill . TOm and Will were Sheepherds swaines , Who lov'd and liv'd together . When faire Pastora grac'd their Plain● , Alas , why came she thither ? For though they fed two severall Flocks , They had had but one Desire ; Pastora's eyes and Amber locks Set both their hearts on fire . Tom came of a gentle race , By father and by mother ; Will was noble , but ( alas ) He was a younger brother . Tom was toysom , Will was s●d , No Huntsman nor no Fowler ; Tom was held the properer lad , But Will the better bowler . The scorching flames their hearts did bear , They could no longer smother , Although they knew they Rivalls were , They still lov'd one and other . The scorching flames their heat did bear , They could no longer smother , Although they knew they Rivalls were , They still lov'd one another . Tom would drink her health , and swear ▪ This Nation could not want her ; Will would take her by the haire , And with his voyce inchant h●r . Tom kept alwayes in her sight , And nere forgot his duty , Tom was witty , and could write Sweet Sonnets on her beauty . Thus did she handle Tom and Will , Who both did dot● upon her , For graciously she us'd them still , And still preserv'd her honour . Yet she was so sweet a S●e , And of so sweet behaviour , That Tom thought he , and Will thought he Was chiefest in her favour . Pastora was a lovely Lass , And of a comely feature , Divinely good and faire she was , And kinde to every creature . Of favour she was provident , And yet not over-sparing , She gave no lesse incouragement , Yet kept men from despairing . Which of these two she loved best , Or whether she loved either , 'T is thought they will finde it to their cost , That she indeed lov'd neither . She dealt her favours equally , They both were well contented ; She kept them both from jealousie , Nor easily prevented . Tale ▪ telling fame hath made report Of faire Pastora's beauty , Pastora's sent for to the Court , There to perform her duty . Unto the Court Pastora's gone , It had been no Court without her , Our Queen 'mongst all her train hath none , Nor half so fair about her . Tom hung his dog , and threw away His sheep-hook and his wallet ; Will burst his pipes , and curst the day That ere he made a Sonnet . Their nine-pins and their bowles they brake , Their joyes were turn'd to teares , 'T is time for me an end to make , Let them go shake their eares . A Song . 1. CLoris forbear a while , do not ore-joy me ; Urge not another smile , le●t thou destroy me . That beauty pleaseth most , and is soonest taken , Which is soon won , soon lost , kindly forsaken . I love a coming Lady , faith I do , And now & then would have her scornful too . 2. O cloud those eyes of thine ; bo-p●ep thy feature , Warm'd with an April slime , scorch not the creature . Thus to display thy ware ; thus to be fooling , Argues how rude you are in Cupids schooling . Disdain begets a shent , scorn , draws me nigh , 'T is 'cause I would , and cann't make me try . 3. Cloris I would have thee wise , when Gallants woo thee , And courtship thou despise , fly those pursue thee . Fast moves an appetite , make hunger greater , What 's stinted oft delights , falls to the better ▪ Be kindly coy betimes , be smoothly rough , And buckle now and then , and that 's enough . A Song . 1. UNderneath the Castle wall The Queen of Love sits mourning A tiring of her golden hair , Her red-rose cheek adorning ; VVith a lilly-white hand she smote her brest , And said she was quite forsaken , VVith that the Mountains fell a leaping , And the Fidlers fell a qu●king . 2. Underneath a rotten hedge The Pedlars wife sits shiting , A tearing of a Cabadge leaf , Her shitten arse a wiping . VVith a coale black hand she wipt her ars , And said her fingers were beshit●en ; VVith that the mountains stood still , And the Fidlers fell a spitting . 3. The first beginning was , Sallingers Round , VVhere the Cow leapt over the moon , And the good wife sh●● in the piss-pot , And the cream ran into her shoon . With hey stitch your nose in her breech , And turn about knaves all three , And we 'l have another as good as the tother , If you 'l be rul●d by me . 4. My sister went to market To buy her a taffety hat , Before she came there her arse lay bare , Lay you your lips to that . Hey stitch , your nose , &c. 5. The Fidler play'd his wife a dance , And there sprang up a rose , The Butcher bit his wife by the arse , And she beshit his nose . Hey stitch , your nose , &c. 6. Cisly shit in the wood-yard , And it flue East and VVest , Cisly shit in the wood-yard , And the plainest way was best . It was well known to all her friends She made good pudding-pies , Up she start and let a fart , The syrop ran down her thighes . 7. Fortune my foe hath stoln away my Bacon , And powdred Beef and Mustard my mouth hath quite forsaken ; VVhich makes me fall unto my Bread & Cheese ; O help strong Beer & Ale , or else my life I leese . A Song in the praise of ALE . NOr drunken nor sober , but neighbor to both I lately walkt down in a dale , A freind by the way desired me to stay , And speak in the praise of a pot of good Ale . But yet to commend it I dare not begin , Lest thereby my judgement may happen to faile , Because many men do account it a sin To speak in the praise of a pot of good Ale . But yet by your leave , when troubles arise , And sorrow and care the heart doth assaile , The best help to be found is to toss the pot round , And to wash away care with a pot of good Ale . It m●kes a man merry , and full of conceits , And as good as a Piper , where musick doth fail ; He that soundly drinks , no harm ever thinks ; But loves to commend a pot of good Ale . The old wife whose teeth wag as fast as her tail , Though old age by nature be feeble and fraile , She 'l frisk & she 'l fling , and she 'l make the house ring , If sh● be but inspir'd with a pot , &c. The Ploughman , the Lab'rer , the Thresher likewise , That worketh all day for a groat with his flail● , Speaks of no less things , then of Queens and of Kings , If he once be inspir'd with a pot , &c. The man that hath a black blous to his wife , In her face as much favour as is in her taile VVhen he comes home at night , will swear she shines bright , If he shine first with a pot , &c. VVith that my friend said to me , come let us go , Thy long staying here hath made thee look pale ; VVe 'l have six pots more though we die on the score . And so they went back to the pot of good Ale . How Daphne payes his Debts . DAphne was Poet to the Queen , And he caught her by the Mony ; But afterwards he met with a Lass , And he caught her by the Cony . She felt him please her then so well , For he was in his prime , She see a mark upon his face , To know him another time . He feeling England then so hot , In England would not tarry , But made him a Barque , to Maryland All his estate to carry . This Barque was taken by a Frigot ; Where was poore Daphne then ? For Daphne , you know , could never fight , And I doubt none of his men . Then Daphne to the Tower must go , Where he did fall to writing The life and death of a certain King , That did delight in fighting . But city Dun distur'b him then , And cri●s , Discharge your debt sir , But he reply'd with cap in hand , I beg your patience you sir . My patience yet , quoth he again , Why how long shall y● stay ? But unto this months and , quoth he . But he meant untill dooms day . From Cou●try then another came , And payment him bese●ches , But Daphne onely makes a leg , And gives him some fai● speeches . Quoth ●e , I now have made my book , A fam'd Heroick Poem , For which I 'm promis'd so ●●ny pounds , That I know not where to bestow em . But when this book it did come forth As some have given ●●i●●ing , The gains of his pitifull Poetry Scarce paid for paper & printing At the months end they come again , Molesting him like Devils . Well now I le pay ye all , quoth he , I must be master o' th' Revels . The State hath promis'd this to me , As the Clerk of the Parliament saith , And I hope that you will do as I do , Believe the PVBLIQVE FAITH . Already I have hir'd a house , Wherein to sing and dance ; And now the Ladies shall have Masques Made a la m●d●de France . This house was Pothecaries Hall , I tell to him that asks ; Because of a meeting that was there , Which he said was one of his Masques . If there you finde him not come to S. Ione●'s , Where his next house is hiring , And if you come quickly , you shall see The Players themselves attiring . For surely he doth play , but must Be watched like Bacons head , Time is , Time was , but still you come When the Time past is said . I can tell y' of more of 's houses , one In fields of Lincolns Inne , Another in Drury Lane : and thus Daphne will never lin — . Thus little you think that Daphne hath A Play with you begun , Which is the cause you interrupt him , Ere the fifth Act be done . Now the fifth Act is never done , Till th' Exit all fulfill ; Let him but make his Exit first , And then do what you will . Yet Daphne , if they still molest thee , Faith , in the minde I 'm in , I 'd do as Players use to do , Pay my great summes in tin . Or as that you do play with them . Think that they play with you , Conceit you owe them nought , you know How much Conceit will do . Now in these houses he hath men , And cloathes to make them trim ; For six good friends of his laid out Six thousand pounds for him . Then Daphne he will get at least A hundred pounds a day : Why I think the Devil 's in you all , Cann't you one minute stay ? If this won't do , but ye resolve With Bayliffs for to founder him , Yet let this blunt your cholers edge , Ye shall have places under him ; His Landlord he shall have a copy Of some new Masque , or so , For which though he may largely crave , Let him use some conscience though . The taylor shall the wardrobe keep , And now and then steale a suit , Draper shall keep the half Crown boxes For Gentlemen of repute . His Landress , 'cause she washes well , And kisses with a good smack o , Shall have a Shedd wherein to sell Strong Ale and foule Tobacco . Nor ben't such Infid●lls to think This time will nere be found ; For he that builds castles in the aire Can build a house o' th' ground . Therefore pray set your hearts at rest , And do not wrack the poore , But if he pay not in two yeares time , I le nere speak for him more . VVilly is gone to the Wood . A SONG . WIlly's gone to the wood , to the wood , to the wood . Willy's gone to the wood , thither go I ; And if thou wilt lay me down , lay me down , lay me down , If thou wilt lay me down , loud will I cry , Oh , oh , uf , oh , oh , uf , oh , oh , uf , oh , oh , Oh my Love , oh my Love ; Who leads such a life like to Willy and I ? Willy rides all the night , all the night , all the night , Willy rides all the night , he cannot lye , But he must see his Love , kis his Love , woo his Love , But he must feel his Love as he pass by . With oh , oh , &c. None leads a life like to Willy and I. I met with my Love a going to a Fayer , He kindly imbrac'd me , ask'd what I did there ; Then presently I told him , I would not him deny , For I will love Willy untill I die . With oh , oh , &c. Who is so quaint as Willy and I ? I met with Willy i' th' midst of the green , He told me he lov'd me , yet would not be seen , Then sweetly he laid me down , I cry'd oh fie , fie , fie , For I love Willy untill I die . With oh , oh , &c. None leads a life like to Willy and I. A Song . YOu young men that want skill in wooing , And have a desire to be wed , Take councel of me in your doing , For fear lest you should be m●sled . Do not my kind proffer refuse , 'T will never you deceive , 'T will teach you what woman to chuse , And what creature you'd best for to leave . In the first place I do you advise , Take one nor too high nor too low , But according unto your owne size , That you may her true qualities know . Take one nor too young , nor too old , Take one nor too fat nor too lean ; 'T is a bad thing to meet with a scold , 'T is a worse thing to meet with a quean . Nor take not one that 's too proud , Nor one that 's a du●ty foul slut ; The one the will babble too loud , And the other will poyson the gut . Chiefly I would wish you beware A wench with a rowling eye ; For she that will couzen and sweare , Will also dissemble and lye . She that has her hair a bright yellow , And tresses like weavers of gold , If she meet with some pretty fellow , Her husband may chance be cuckold . But she that 's by nature compos'd With round cherry cheeks and red haire , If she be pink ey'd and long nos'd , Believe it she 's dangerous ware . It is not all gold that doth glister , Nor 't is not all lead that looks dull , For Venus , the fairest of Sisters , Made Vulcan her husband a gull . So often times beautiful Lasses Do jeer their poor husbands with scorn , And cunningly break all their glasses , And make them drink out of a horn . But the bonny wench with the brown brow , Oh she is a good one indeed , She will be true to her vow , I wish we had more of the breed . A Song . 1. DId I once say that thou wert faire , And that thy breath perfum'd the aire ? Did I commit Idolatry , And court thee as a Deity ? Oh Caelia ! then sure I was blinde , Or else it was 'cause thou wer● kind . 2. Did I once beg a wanton kisse , And thought there was no other blisse ? Did I all other objects fly● To live i●th ' sun-shine of thine eye ? 'T is true , I did ; but Caelia then Restor'd to me as much ag●n . 3. Now Caelia's chang'd ▪ and so am I , And love feeds upon vanity , My constant tho●ghts could never find The pleasures of a fickle mind ▪ Till thy example did invite My appetite with new delight A SONG . SUre 't was a dream , how long fond man have I Been fool'd into captivity ? My New-gate was my want of wit , I did my self commit the bonds I knit ; I my own g●oler was , the onely foe That did my freedome disallow : I was a pris'ner 'cause I would be so . But now I will shake my chaines , and prove Opinion built the gaole of love , Made all his bonds , gave him his bow , His broken arrowes too , which murther so . Nay all these darts idle Lovers dream , Were all compos'd to make a Theam For some carousing Poet's drunken flame . 'T was a fine life I led , when I did dresse My self , to court your peevishnesse ; When I did at your foot-stoole lye , Expecting from your eye to live or dye . Now smiles or frownes , I care not which I have , Nay rather than I le be your slave , I le woo the plague to send me to the grave . Now I can stand the salleys of your eyes , In vain are all your b●tteries . Nor can that low dissembling smile , Nor that bewitching stile longer beguile , Nor those heart-traps , which you each renu● To all those witchcrafts , and to you For evermore I le bid adieu . An Epitaph on John Taylor , whow as born in the City of Glocester , died in Phaenix Alley , in the 75. yeare of his age ; you may finde him , if the worms have not devoured him , in Covent Garden Church-yard . HEre lies Iohn Taylor , without rime or reason , For death struck his Muse in so cold a season , That Iack lost the use of his Scullers to row , The chill pale R●seal would not let his boat go . Alas poor Iack Taylor , this 't is to drink ale , With nutmegs and ginger , with a toste , though stale : It drenche thee in Rimes : hadst thou been of the pack , With Draiton and Iohnson to qu●ff off thy Sack , They 'd infu●'d thee a Genius should nere expire , And have thawed thy Muse with Elemental fi●e . Yet still for the honour of thy sprightly wit , Since some of thy Fanc●es so handsomly hit ; The Nymphs of the Rivers for thy relation Sirnamed thee the Water-po●t of the nation ▪ Who can write more of thee , let him do'● for me , A pox take all Rim●ro , Iack Taylor , but thee . Weep not Reader , if thou canst chuse , Over the Stone of so merry a Muse . Another from the Vniversity . HEre lyes neither Constable , Iustice , nor Iaylor , No Bayly , nor Catch-poll , but honest Iohn Taylor ; Whose name is not graven on Marble Columes , But lives in his own four hundred volumes , Where women and men , and children may know it , That he was this Islands chief Water-Poet , Who being o're-whelm'd , by Death's powre felt like one , Not drowned in Lethe , but in Helicon ▪ And since he 's not living , but surely is dead , In Covent-gard●n Church-yard he lies buried . A SONG . 1. OH ho boyes , soh ho boyes , Come away boyes , And bring me my longing desire ; A Lasse th●t is near , And can do the feat , When lusty young blood is on fire . 2. Let her body be tall , And her wast●●e but small , And her age not above fifteen ; Let her feare for no bed , But let us here spread Our mantle upon the Green . 3. Let her have a cherry lip , Where I Nectar my sip , Le● her eyes ●e as black as a ●low ; Tangling locks I doe love , So those that hang above Be the same of what 's growing below . 4. Let her face be faire , And her br●sts be bare , And ● voyce let her have that can wa●ble , Let her belly be ●oft , To mount me aloft , Let her bounding buttocks be of marble , Oh such a bonny lasse May bring wonders to passe , And make me grow younger and younger , And when I dapart , She 'l be mad at the heart , That I am able to stand to'● no longer . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A54795e-49550 Pray do not put him out Nan . He had reason to say so . Into the place where the great Sword and the Chair is . A sweet nap . Plain dealing 's a Jewell . Here they stand upright . He does not run a tilt . He had two if he could have kept them . About the time that mortalls whet their knives . 
A59027	----	The secret history of the reigns of K. Charles II and K. James II Phillips, John, 1631-1706. 1690 Approx. 272 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 113 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A59027 Wing S2347 ESTC R9835 12532998 ocm 12532998 62803 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A59027) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 62803) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 293:6) The secret history of the reigns of K. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Charles -- II, -- King of England, 1630-1685. James -- II, -- King of England, 1633-1701. Great Britain -- History -- Charles II, 1660-1685. Great Britain -- History -- James II, 1685-1688. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE REIGNS OF K. CHARLES II. AND K. IAMES II. Printed in the Year 1690. PREFACE . IT is one of the Encomiums given to Suetonius , That he made Publick to the World , the Vices and Miscarriages of the Twelve Caesars , with the same freedom with which they were by them Committed . And there is no question , but one of his chiefest reasons for so doing , was this , Because he would not deceive Posterity ; and all agree that he was Contemporary with the Three last . So that the Enormities of Domitian could not but be fresh in his Memory when he wrote his Life ; and there might be several Persons Living , as might have the same Partial Affections for Domitian , as there are now Adorers of C. II. and J. II. For which reason there is a wary Caution among some People , That Truth is not always to be spoken . Which perhaps may be sometimes True , but as the Case stands with these Sheets , not at all to be taken notice of ; The pains of this short History , being as well to Vindicate , as to Inform ; and written in Opposition to one of the French King 's most Scandalous Libels , and bitter Invectives against our Present Sovereign ; Intitled , The True Portraicture of William Henry of Nassau , &c. Now to have made a Particular Answer to all the Extravagancies and Impertinent Flams of a Malicious Libeller , would have been a Fending and Proving , altogether fruitless . It was therefore thought the more concise way , to bring the Two Last Reigns upon the Stage , and then let all the World judg of the Furberies and Tyranny of those Times , and the Integrity , Sincerity , and Sweetness of Their Present Majesties Reign . As for the Truth of what is here contain'd , I will not Apologize for it ; for as to the more secret Transactions , the Consequences and Events are my Testimonies ; and for what was more publickly carried , there are the loud and general Complaints of the Kingdom to confirm it . So that I shall say no more . THE SECRET HISTORY , &c. WHEN Charles the Second was restored to the Thrones of England , Scotland , and Ireland , never any Monarch in the World , came to the Possession of so large a Dominion with more Advantages to have done good for himself , to his Subjects at home , and to his Allies abroad : The People all experienc'd in Martial Discipline , as having but newly sheath'd the Sword of Civil War and Foreign Conquest , so that their Valour was dreaded abroad where-ever he should have menac'd an Enlargement of his Territories . Besides all this , he had the Love of his Subjects , equal , if not superior , to any Prince that ever reign'd before him ; and he had the Affection of ●is Parliament to the highest degree . But after all this , he was no sooner set●ed in his Throne , but through the Influ●nce of Evil Consellors upon a dispositi●n naturally vicions and easily corrupted with Effeminate Pleasures , he abandon'd himself to all manner of Softness and Voluptuous Enjoyments , and harbouring in his Bosom the worst of Vices , base Ingratitude , betray'd himself that he might betray his People . For where the Constitution of a Nation is such , that the Laws of the Land are the Measures both of the Sovereigns Commands , and the Obedience of the Subjects ; whereby it is provided , that as the one are not to invade what by Concessions and Stipulations is granted to the Ruler , so the other is not to deprive them of their lawful and determin'd Rights and Liberties ; there the Prince who strives to subvert the Fundamental Laws of the Society is the Traytor and the Rebel , and not the People who endeavour to preserve and defend their own . Nor must we ascribe the Miscarriages of his Reign altogether to the remissness of his Nature ; but to a Principle of Revenge , which his Mother had infus'd into him , not so much for the loss of her Husband , but out of her inbred Malice to the Protestant Religion , which no where flourish'd in that Splendour as in England , foster'd an● cherished by the vow'd Enemy of this Nation , his Brother the D. of York , who ha● been openly heard to declare in his Bed chamber at St. Iames's , That he was resolv'd to be reveng'd upon the English Nation for the Death of his Father : And what an Ascendant this Brother had over him , the whole Kingdom has felt by sad and woful experience . For indeed the King had all along an Affection for him , so entire and baneful to the Nation , that he could only be said to Reign , while his Brother Rul'd . With all these Royal Vertues , and imbred and fomented Animosities , to render him at his return a Gracious Sovereign to this Kingdom , let us trace him from his Cradle to find out those Princely Endowments , which invisibly encreasing with him as he grew in Years , dazled in such a manner the Eyes of the doating Politicians of that Age , to recal him , against that known and vulgar Maxim of Common Prudence . — Regnabit sanguine multo Ad Regnum quisquis venit ab exilio . When he was but very young , he had a very strange an unaccountable Fondness to a wooden Billet , without which in his Arms he would never go abroad , nor lie down in his Bed : From which the more observing sort of People gathered , that when he came to Years of Maturity , either Oppressors and Blockheads would be his greatest Favourites ; or else that when he came to reign , he would either be like Iupiter's Log for every Body to deride and contemn ; or that he would rather chuse to command his People with a Club , than rule them with a Scepter . And indeed they that made the first and last Conjectures found in due time they were not altogether in the wrong . For the Throne was no sooner empty by the death of his Father , before he could be permitted to seat himself in it , but he gave us a plain discovery what sort of People they were , who when he came to Reign were most likely to have the Principal Room in his Favour and Trust , and by whose assistance he was in hopes to tyrannize over his English and Scottish Subjects . For when the Parliament of Scotland sent to him , as he was then cruizing about Guernsey , to treat with him about receiving him to be their King , he would not so much as transact with them , till he had first sent to Ireland , to assure himself whether those Rebels , who had murder'd no less than two hundred thousand Protestants were in a condition or no for him to cast himself upon their Assistance . But those hopes failing , in regard they were in a fair way to be subdu'd themselves , he was at length inclin'd to entertain the Overture made him by the Scots . And yet even then was his mind so full fraught with the thoughts of Despotical Dominion , and purposes of introducing Popery into his Territories , that had it not been for the P. of Orange , he would never have comply'd with the Terms which the Scots had order to propose , tho' no other than what were necessary for the security of the Lives , Liberties , Laws , and Religion of his People . And how he employ'd his wooden Billet afterwards , may easily be understood by his many acts of barbarous Tyranny over those poor People , and the Slavery under which the whole Nation began so lately to groan . Being admitted to the Scepter of Scotland , at what time the Scourge of English Victory hung hourly over his Head ; tho he was diligently watched and observ'd by Men of Piety and Vertue , he could not forbear the satisfaction of his Youthful Inclinations to all manner of Wantonness and Lasciviousness : insomuch that having in the Year 1650 to the many Fornications and Adulteries which he there committed , added the perpetration of a Rape upon a modest and vertuous Lady , he had incurr'd the general disatisfaction of his best Friends . However since they had brought him in , and restored him to the Regal Dignity , and that what was done could not now be undone , they deem'd it no less their Duty , to retrieve him , if possible , from those infamous and violent Courses , and to that purpose concluded , that the Danger , as well as the Sin and Scandal of the Crimes he had committed , should be privately represented to him by some of the most sober Noble Men and Ministers . But some declining the Office , as apprehending it would be ungratefully received by the young King , others not deeming they had that Awe upon him which was sufficient , it came at length to be devolv'd upon the Marquiss of Argyle . For they suppos'd , that if he hearkned to any Person it would be to him , not only by reason of his Quality , but because he had been the chief Instrument of perswading and prevailing with the Parliament to call him home to inherit the Crown of his Ancestors , when most of the Members were thinking to exclude him . But tho that Noble and Prudent Peer manag'd the Address , which upon that Occasion he made to the King , with the highest Piety of a Christian , and the greatest Submission of a Subject ; yet the King look'd upon it as so Sacrilegious a Crime , that any one should presume to rebuke him for his Darling Pollutions and Impurities , that he resolv'd that nothing should expiate the Offence but the Blood of that Great and Vertuous Nobleman . It is true , he was destroyed upon a pretended legal Process , but they who consider'd that it was for strain'd Faults and Failings of a Person who never acted but in a publick joint way , without any sinister or treasonable Design against the King or his Father , and against which he was either able to defend himself by Acts of Approbation or Oblivion in verbo principis , then which there could not be a more Supream , Sacred , and inviolable Security ; or by an insuperable Necessity : They who remembred the Marquisse's faithful Endeavours for restoring the King to the Crown of Scotland , thought it a severe Case , and look'd upon his Condemnation as unjust , and his Life an ungodly Sacrifice to the angred Lust of a Lascivious Prince . He had called God and all the Records of Heaven to witness his Innocency , as to the most pungent Articles against him ; and to avoid giving the Parliament the trouble of a Defence , in all humility he threw himself down at the Kings Feet , and wholly submitted himself to his Mercy . Nay , when all this would not do , he put in a Justification for himself , so full of Reason and good Proof , as was thought would have satisfied all Mankind . But notwithstanding all this , such was the remorceless Cruelty of our good natur'd Prince of Mercy and Clemency , that nothing but so Noble a Person must be a Victim to his private Animosity . Nor does the getting him put to death by a seeming Course of Law excuse or extenuate the Guilt of the Fact , but is rather an Aggravation of it before God and Men , in regard the Law which is design'd for the security of Men's Lives , was here wrested and perverted to their Destruction . And in imitation of this unjust Prosecution it was , that when the D. of York hunted the Son of this Noble Man to death , and was told by the Scot's Lawyers , that there was nothing in what the Earl had said or done which could be made Criminal by the Law of the Land , his Highness was pleas'd to reply , But cannot it be wrested to Treason ? Nor was the King less early in Hypocrisie and breach of Promise . For the confirmation of which to be a Solemn Truth , there needs no more than to lay the Foundation of the Proof upon his own Words and Solemn Engagements . For in the Kings Letter to the Speaker of the House of Commons just before his Restauration , he has these Words . We assure you upon our Royal Word that none of our Predecessors have had a greater esteem of Parliaments than We have , as well in Our Judgments as from Our Obligation . We do believe them to be so Vital a part of the Constitution of the Kingdom , and so necessary for the Government of it , that We well know , neither Prince nor People can be in any tolerable degree happy without them ; and therefore you may be confident , that We shall always look upon their Counsels , as the best We can receive , and shall be as tender of their Priviledges , and as careful to preserve and protect them , as of that which is most near our Self , and most necessary for our own Preservation . This in part demonstrates his Prevarications with Man : Now for his Prevarication with Heaven , we must produce another Paragraph of the same Letter , wherein he uses these flattering Expressions . If you desire the Advancement and Propagation of the Protestant Religion , We have , by our constant Profession of it , given sufficient Testimony to the World , That neither the unkindness of those of the same Faith towards Us , nor the Civilities and Obligations from those of a contrary Profession , could in the least degree startle Us , or make Us swerve from it , and nothing can be propos'd to manifest Our Zeal and Affection for it , to which we will not readily assent . And We hope in due time our Self to propose something to you for the Propagation of it , that will satisfie the World , that We have always made it both Our Care and Study , and have enough observed what is most like to bring disadvantage to it . As for the first , his Veneration for Parliaments , the succeeding Transactions of his Reign , which are to be related , will manifestly make it appear how far those Words were from his Heart , when dictated by his Lips. And as for the second , his Zeal for the Protestant Religion , nothing could render him more a Hypocrite then such a Profession , when at the same time he was both himself a Papist , and under Promises and Obligations to the Pope and the Romish Clergy , to destroy the Protestant and introduce the Roman Catholick Religion , as afterwards appear'd by the Attestations of Ocular Witnesses , who often saw him at Mass during his Exile : and was yet more evident by a Letter under his own Hand , written in the Year 1652. to the Pope himself ; which once was printed in Whitlocks Memoirs ; but upon the considerations of the danger that might ensue upon divulging it at that time to the World , torn out before the publishing of the Book . However to supply that defect , we shall here insert the Propositions that were sent by him to Rome , while he was in Scotland , professing the Presbyterian Religion , and carried thither and press'd forward by one Dalie , an Irish Priest , and Confessor to the then Queen of Portugal , under the Title of Propositions and Motives for and on the behalf of the most Invincible King of Great Britain , France , and Ireland , to Pope Innocent X. in the Year of Iubilee 1650. Which Dalie , taking France in his way , spake with the Queen-Mother , and receiv'd her Directions for the better management of the Affair . Most Blessed Father , Our Agent at present residing at Rome , with all humility shews to your Holiness , That the principal cause and occasion of that Regicide tyrannically perpetrated upon the Person of Charles the First , Father of that foresaid Charles the Second , by his Rebels and cruel Subjects ( the like whereof was never heard of from the beginning of the world , not only not among civil Nations , but even among the most barbarous themselves ) have been the graces , favors and concessions ▪ so often and so many ways extended to the Catholick Religion , and the Assertors and Professors thereof , in the Kingdoms both of England and Ireland : The truth of which appears , in that the foresaid Charles the First gave Authority to the Marquiss of Ormond by several Commissions , for the establishing and perfecting all Conditions with the Confederate Catholicks of the Kingdom of Ireland , of sufficient security for the Catholick Faith. Furthermore , the said Charles the First , tearing lest the said Ormond ( being an Heretick ) should not satisfie the said Confederates in all things ; He sent thither the Marquiss of Worcester , a Man truly and wholly Catholick , with a more ample Commission ; in which Commission the said Marquiss of Worcester had full Authority of concluding a Peace with the said Confederate Catholicks , and of giving them Conditions altogether satisfactory , as well concerning Liberty of Religion ; as also as to other Injuries that had been done unto them , which the said Marquiss of Worcester , making with them an absolute Peace , did abundantly fulfil . Further , this appeareth in that the said Charles the First , even in England it self , did by Commissions set the Catholicks , namely the said Marquiss of Worcester , Sir Arthur Ashton , and many others , over his Armies , and made them Governours of Cities , Castles , and strong Holds , notwithstanding the clamour of the People against it , and which was not a slight Motive of the Regicide committed upon him , whereby it appears , that although the said King Charles the First died not a Catholick , yet he died for them . Again , ( most blessed Father ! ) the same Agent most humbly represents , That the present King Charles the Second , the true and undoubted Heir of the foresaid Charles the First , and of all his Kingdoms ( to whom the said Kingdoms belong of right , according to that of Christ , Give to Caesar the things that are Caesar's , ) while his Father yet lived , was known to have good and true Natural inclinations to the Catholick Faith , following which , and going on in his Fathers steps , he did not only recommend it to the Marquiss of Ormond , but gave it him in express Command to satisfie in all things the Confederate Catholicks in Ireland , namely , That he should grant them the free exercise of their Religion , That he should abrogate the Penal Laws made against them , and that he should restore to the said Catholicks , whether Laicks or Ecclesiasticks , their Lands , Estates , Possessions , or what other Rights did at any time belong unto them , and by the said Laws had been unjustly taken away ; in obedience to which Commands , the said Marquiss in the Name , and by the Authority of the said two Kings , namely , Charles the First and the II. made and concluded a firm Peace with the said Confederate Catholicks ; by the conclusion of which Peace , the said present King and all his Dominions , hath involved himself with the Catholicks in an irreconcileable War against the Parliamentarian Regicides of England , whose Blood therefore the said cruel Tyrants insatiably thirst after , as they did after his Fathers . The said Agent further offers to your Holiness , That the inhumane Regicides do wickedly usurp to themselves in the Dominions aforementioned , all the Authority of the King , do most cruelly persecute all the Catholicks both in England and in Ireland , partly by condemning them to Banishment , partly by thrusting them into Prisons , and otherwise corporally punishing them ; and lastly , by putting them to death , a Witness of the truth hereof , is that great slaughter made by Cromwel , in the taking of the two Cities of Drogheda and Wexford , and other places , where all the Catholicks without distinction of either Sex or Age were slaughtered ; witness hereof also the raging persecution and death of Catholicks in England : by all which , and by their Parliamentarian Decrees , themselves , and their Covenant with God ( as they call it ) it is evident even beyond the clearness of the light of the shining Sun , That these Tyrannical Regicides do ultimately intend and put forth all their Power for the utter destruction of all Catholicks , and to extirpate by the Roots , and wholly to extinguish the Catholick Faith throughout the World , openly asserting and boasting with great glory , that these things being once finished in those Dominions , they will then invade France , and after that run through Germany , Italy , and all Europe , throwing down Kings and Monarchs , whose very Titles are most odious and abhorrent unto them : Briefly , they have no other thing in their Aim than these two , namely , The extirpation of the Catholick Religion , and the destruction of Monarchy : To which wicked Machinations of theirs , forasmuch as they could never have any the least hopes , that either the King or his Father should at any time in the least assent ; they have put the one to death ▪ and the other to exile : And these Rebels now with a nefarious boldness , have lately called themselves a Common-wealth . To meet with and prevent the infernal endeavours of such Rebels , our Agent most humbly offers to your Holiness the following Propositions . 1. That your Holiness would make an annual supply out of your own Treasury unto the said Charles the Second , of considerable sums of Money , sutable to the maintaining the War against those Rebels against God , the Church , and Monarchy . 2. That you would cause and compel the whole beneficed Clergy in the world , of whatsoever Dignity , Degree , State or Condition soever , to contribute the third or the fourth part of all their Fruits , Rents , Revenues , or Emoluments to the said War , as being Universal and Catholick . And that the said Contribution may be paid every Three Months or otherwise , as shall seem most expedient to your Holiness . 3. That by your Apostolick Nuncio's your Holiness would most instantly endeavour with all Princes , Common-wealths , and Catholick States , that the said Princes , Common-wealths , and States , may be admonished in the bowels of Jesus Christ , and induced to enter into , and conclude an Universal Peace ; and that they will unitedly supply the said King. And that they will by no means acknowledg the said Regicides and Tyrants for a Common-wealth , or State ; nor enter into , or have any commerce with them . 4. That by the said Nuncio's , or any other way , all and every the Monarchs of all Europe may be timely admonished , and made sensible in this Cause ; wherein , beside the detriment of the Faith , their own proper Interest is concerned : The foresaid Tyrants being sworn enemies to all Monarchy , as they themselves do openly assert , both by Word and Writing ; and to that end , both in Germany , Spain , France , Polonia , &c. and in the very Dominions of the Great Turk , they have raised dangerous Insurrections ; being raised , they foment them : and to that purpose , they supply the Charge , and make large Contributions to it . 5. That your Holiness would command , under pain of Excommunication , ipso facto , all and singular Catholicks , That neither they , nor any of them , directly nor indirectly , by Land or by Sea , do serve them in Arms , or assist them by any Counsel , or help to favour or supply them any way , under whatsoever pretext . Holy Father ! The premised Remedies are timely to be applied , by which the Catholick Faith , now exposed to extreme and imminent hazard , may be conserv'd ; an infinite number of Catholicks may be preserv'd from destruction , Monarchy may be established ; and the most invincible King of Great Britain restor'd to his Rights : All which things will bear your Holiness to Heaven with their Praises , whom God long conserve in safety , &c. The Propositions and Motives abovesaid ( if occasion be ) our Agent will more largely set forth viva voce . Nor could there be a more evident Demonstration of the Kings kind Inclinations to the Head of the Romish Religion , whom he had so dutifully courted from Scotland , then that soon after his Return , he justify'd the Bloody Massacre committed by the Papists in Ireland in the Year 1641. For that the Lord Antrim appearing at the Court of Claims guilty of those execrable Murthers , and of that most detestable Rebellion , and being thereupon to forfeit his Estate , as he had justly deserv'd , the King , by a Letter under his own Hand , as well to the Privy Council , as to that Court , avow'd , That whatever the said Lord had done , it was by Commission and Authority from his Father ; Which as it serves to clear a great portion of our Doubts and Suspicions of the Son's Integrity to the Protestant Religion ; so it was a shrewd Argument , that all that glister'd in the Father was not Gold. But being eager to be restor'd , he was forc'd to put on a Protestant Mask , and to wear one Religion in his Face , another in his Heart ; and no question but he had Plenary Toleration from his Ghostly Father for what he did . He had watchful Eyes over him . And to shew that as he was a great Lover of Comedies and Enterludes , so he could act his part with e're a Moon or Lacy of 'em all , there is a Story must not be omitted , which may serve to light us into the Occasion how he came to gain the Addition of Pious . Otherwise , as it is impossible for us to give any Account why Virgil so often gives the Epiphet of Pious to his Hero AEneas , after he had so dishonourrably cheated and broke his Faith with Queen Dido ; so is it as little to be expected that we should afford a Reason why Charles the Second should be so universally dignifi'd with the Name of Pious , after such a Prank of Hypocrisie as we are going to relate . Certainly he could not be thought to be akin to AEneas ; for we can never deduce his Extraction from the Loins of Anchises ( perhaps from Venus we might ) and therefore the Cause must be sought for nearer home . Well then , the Story is this . While he lay at Breda , daily expecting the English Navy for his Transportation , the Dissenting Party fearing the worst , thought it but reasonable to send a select Number of their most eminent Divines to wait upon his Majesty in Holland , in order to get the most advantageous Promises from him they could , for the Liberty of their Consciences . Of the number of these Divines , Mr. Case was one , who with the rest of his Brethren coming where the King lay , and desiring to be admitted into the King's Presence , were carried up into the Chamber next or very near the King's Closet , but told withal , That the King was busie at his Devotions , and that till he had done they must be contented to stay . Being thus left alone ( by Contrivance no doubt ) and hearing a sound of groaning Piety , such was the Curiosity of Mr. Case , that he would needs go and lay his Ear to the Closet door . But , Heavens ! how was the good Old Man ravish'd to hear the Pious Ejaculations that fell from the King's Lips ! — Lord , — since thou art pleas'd to restore me to the Throne of my Ancestors , grant me a Heart constant in the Exercise and Protection of thy True Protestant Religion . — Never may I seek the Oppression of those who out of the tenderness of their Consciences are not free to conform to Outward and Indifferent Ceremonies . — With a great deal more of the same Cant. — Which Mr. Case having over-heard , full of Joy and Transport , returning to his Brethren , with Hands and Eyes to Heaven up-lifted , fell a congratulating the Happiness of Three Nations over which the Lord had now plac'd a Saint of Paradise for their Prince . After which , the King coming out of his Closet , the deluded Ministers were ready to prostrate themselves at his Feet ; and then it was that the King gave them those Promises of his Favour and Indulgence , which how well he after perform'd , they felt to their sorrow . Soon after he arriv'd in England , where he was receiv'd with all the Pomp and Splendour , and all the Demonstrations of Joy that a Nation could express ; but then , as if he had left all his Piety behind him in Holland , care was taken against the very first Night that his Sacred Majesty was to lie at Whitehall , to have the Lady Castlemain seduc'd from her Loyalty to her Husband , and entic'd into the Arms of the happily restor'd Prince . Which was not only Adultery , but Incest in the Lord 's Annointed , it being the Opinion of several Persons , who had reason to know more than others did , that she was his Sister by the Mother's Side , as being begotten by the E. of St. A. upon the Queen's Body , after the Death of C. the First : which is the rather to be believ'd , for that I my self have often heard Mr. R. Osborn , then at Paris with the Exil'd King , affirm , That he saw the said E. and the Queen solemnly marry'd together . But he was more kind to the D. of Portsmouth , than to any of his Mistresses ; and thence it was , that she might not lie under the Scandal of being a Whore , that after he had made her a Dutchess , he made her also his Wife ; that is to say , he marry'd her by vertue of his Royal Prerogative , at the Lord A's House , by the Common Prayer-Book , according to the Ceremonies of the Church of England : A thing in some measure justifiable in a Prince , since the Law allows all Men one Wife ; and therefore a King , who is above Law , may surely have two . And upon this ground perhaps it was , that upon a Lord Mayor's Day , being at Mr. Eaton's in Cheapside , where the King usually stood , upon some Discourse that brought it out , she cry'd ; Me no Whore ; if me thought me were a Whore , me would cut mine own Throat . And by the same Dispensing Power he provided also for her Children : And therefore having no less adulterously begotten a Daughter upon the Lady Wood , he join'd her in holy Wedlock to one of his Sons whom he had begot after the same Legitimate manner upon the Body of the Dutchess of Cleveland ; according to the Answer of Tamar to Ammon , of which he wanted not Sycophant Priests enow to put him in mind . But these were Peccadillo's readily forgiven by the Religion which he inwardly embrac'd , which could readily dispense with such Trifles as these , provided he went thorough-stitch with the Work which his Ghostly Fathers had cut out for him . Which was the reason , perhaps , that he made choice of a Devotion so conformable to his lustful Inclinations . For certainly what was said of Harry the Eighth , might much more properly he said of him , That he spar'd no Woman , whether Virgin , Marry'd , or Widow , in his Venereal Heats ; Which fill'd his Court so full of Pimps and Panders , that there was hardly any Preferment about his Person for any other . This was that which render'd the D. of L. one of the most ill-favour'd of Men , so amiable in our Caesar's Eyes : And this was that which advanced several others to their gilded Coaches , and Places of the greatest Honour and Profit about the Court. Tho nothing was more mournful , then to see those vast Sums of Money which the Parliament so profusely gave him for the Honour and Security of the Nation , so extravagantly and prodigally wasted upon his Strumpets , of which two were Common Harlots , of Actresses taken from the Bawdy Stage to his Royal Bed. A thousand Pounds every Munday-morning , for the Smiles of a Gilt ; when his necessary Servants pin'd and starv'd for want of their weekly Board-wages , and the strength of the Kingdom , his Seamen , were forc'd to serve his Enemies for Bread. Thus from the first hour of his Arrival into these Kingdoms , ( for I dare not call them His ) he set himself by his own perswasion and influence to withdraw both Men and Women from the Laws of Nature and Morality , and to pollute and infect the People with all manner of Debauchery and Wickedness . He that ought to have shone like the North Star in the Firmament of Royalty , to direct his Subjects in the Paths of Vertue and Honesty , was the Sovereign Ignis fatuus to misguide them into all the snares of Ruin and Perdition , Execrable Oaths were the Chief Court-Acknowledgements of a Deity ; Fornications and Adulteries the Principal Tests of the Peoples Loyalty and Obedience . And whether it were to affront God who had preserved and restored him to his Throne , or to be reveng'd upon the Nation , for inviting him so unanimously to weild the Scepter of his Ancestors , certain it is , that he made it his business to live in defiance of the Fear and Authority of God , and to poyson and corrupt the Minds , and deprave the Manners of the English People , as might easily be observed through the whole Course of his Reign . But the King had been well instructed in his Exile , and had sufficiently learnt in his banishment that undoubted Maxim of Tyranny , that the only way to alter the settl'd Government of a Nation , and to introduce Slavery and Popery , the support of Thraldom , was to weaken and make soft the Military Temper of the People by Debauchery and Effeminacy , which generally go hand in hand together . Knowing therefore that Regis ad Exemplum totus componitur Orbis , he gave these lewd Examples himself , on purpose , that after he had thus Enervated the Minds and Resolutions of his Subjects , he might the more easily trample upon their Necks , and reduce them under the perpetual Yoke of Antichrist , in expectation of his Mothers Blessing , and to fulfil the Agreement between himself , the Pope , and the French King. Certain it is , that the Kingdom was never in a better Posture for the King to work upon it , then at the time of his return into England . For such were the Contests for Superiority , among those who had taken upon them the Government after the death of Oliver , such the Confusions and Disorders that from thence arose , that no body could probably see where would be the End of the general Distraction , unless it were by reducing all things to their Primitive Condition , under a Prince whose Title was so fair to the Crown . Though a great Blunder in Politicks , which the necessity of Affairs at that time made to pass for an Act of Prudence . But such an Act it was , to which all Parties were the more inflam'd by the Kings reiterated Oaths , Promises , and Declarations , to those of the Church of England , to maintain the Protestant Religion ; to the Dissenters , that he would indulge their tender Consciences with all the Liberty they could rationally desire , and to All in general , that he was a most really zealous , and unalterable Protestant . And so infatuated they were with these ingratiating Wheedles , that should all that knew him beyond Sea , both at Colen and in Flanders , have spoken their discoveries with the Voices of Angels ; nay should the Letter which he wrote with his own hand in the year Sixty two to the Pope , have been shewn them in Capital Letters , they would have been all lookt upon but as Fictions , and Inventions to obstruct the Happiness of the Nation . The People therefore ador'd him as the end of all their Miseries , the Dissenters , upon the Relations of their Ministers return'd , thought themselves happy in the reports of his Mercy and Piety , and the Parliament doated upon his Oaths and Promises , so that no Prince in the World could ascend a Throne with more Love and Affection , or with a greater Reputation in the Opinion of the whole Nation . What could be more inhuman , more immoral , more barbarous , then by all the Violations of Royal Faith and the Word of a King , to disappoint the Hopes and Expectations of a People that had such a Confidence of his Religion and Vertue ? Though perhaps such a failure might have been attributed to his Weakness and want of Conduct . But to set himself , after so high a Veneration of his Vertues , such a prostrating of their Lives and Fortunes at his Feet , in Combination with a Forreign Prince , the only professed and mortal Enemy of their Welfare , to destroy their Religion , subvert their Laws and Liberties , to undermine and impoverish their Estates and Fortunes , and to reduce a Plump , Wealthy , and Well-nourish'd Nation , into a Skeleton of a Kingdom , what could be more infernally ingrateful ? Yet that this was the Study and Practice of his whole Reign , the following Passages will make Geometrically demonstrable . The King was not ignorant that he was furnish'd already with a stock of Gentlemen , who being forc'd to share the Misfortunes of his Exile , and consequently no less imbitter'd against those whom they lookt upon as their Oppressors , he had moulded them to his own Popish Religion and Interests , by corrupting them in their Banishment with him , to renounce the Protestant Doctrine and Worship , and secretly reconcile themselves to the Church of Rome : Insomuch that Mr. R. offer'd to prove one day , in the Pensionary House of Commons , that of all the Persons , yet Persons all of Rank and Quality , who sojourn'd with the King abroad , there were but three then alive , viz. P. Rupert , the Lord M. and Mr. H. Coventry , who had not been prevail'd upon by his Majesty to go to Mass. Nor could their being restor'd to their Estates at his return , separate them from their Masters Interests ; for that besides the future Expectations , with which the King continually fed them , and the Obligations that the Principles of the Religion , to which they had revolted , layd them under , they had bound themselves , by all the Oaths and Promises that could be exacted from them , to assist and cooperate with him in all his Designs for the Extirpation of the Protestant Religion and introducing of Popery ; though they were dispenced with from appearing bare-fac'd . So soon therefore as the Parliament that gave him admittance into the Kingdom was Dissolv'd , the King call'd another , the first of his own Calling ; and so ordered the Matter , that the greatest part of the Mask'd Revolters got in amongst the Real Protestants : By which means all things went trim and trixy on the King's side . They restor'd him the Militia , which the Long Parliament had wrested out of his Fathers hands ; they sacrific'd the Treasure of the Nation to his Profuseness and Prodigality , the only Vertue in him that sav'd us from utter Ruin ; for had he been more sparing he had done us more mischief . They offer'd up the Rights and Liberties of the People , by advancing his Prerogative ; and what was most conducing to the King 's Popish Designs , they made him , by private Instructions , those Penal Statutes , which divided the two prevailing Protestant Parties , and set them together by the Ears , by arming one Party of the Protestants against all the rest ; such a darling advantage to the Papists , and upon the obtaining of which , he set so high a value , that neither the necessity of his Affairs at any time afterwards , nor the Application and Interposure of several Parliaments , for removing the grounds of our Differences and Animosities by an Indulgence to be past into a Law , could prevail upon him to forego the advantages he had got of keeping the Protestants at mutual Enmity one with another , and making them useful to their own Designs , of supplanting the Protestant Religion , and re-establishing the Idolatry of Rome . Nor was this all , but that he might carry on his Popish Designs the more safely and covertly under the cursed Mask of Hypocrisie , he procur'd the passing of an Act in his Pensionary Parliament 1662. whereby it was made forfeiture of Estate and Imprisonment , for any to say the King was a Papist , or an Introducer of Popery . Nevertheless , notwithstanding he was thus become a Protestant by the Law of the Land , to repeat how he exerted the Power given him by the P2rliament ; how he persecuted and prosecuted the Protestant Nonconformists from one end of the Kingdom to the other ; how he caus'd them to be Excommunicated , imprison'd and harrass'd , when nto a Papist in the Three Kingdoms was so much as troubled or molested , is a thing that would be altogether needless , as being so well known to the World , and still too sadly remembred by Thousands of Families , that to this day too deeply wear the Scars of his Cruel Dilaniations . However it shew'd sufficiently the aim of our dear Defender of the Protestant Faith , which was to weaken and enervate the Protestant Party , that so they might be come the more easie Prey to Popish Rage and Cruelty , when the blessed Hour should arrive , for the putting in Execution those bloody designs with which he had been so long travailing ; which because he could not carry on without assistance , therefore although he were sometimes oblig'd by the necessity of his Affairs , and in complyance with the Times , to palliate his Contrivances , to make use of sincere and real Protestants , yet they who were admitted into his secrets , and in whom he placed his chiefest Trust and Confidence , were always Papists . He who would needs have himself enacted the best Protestant in his Dominions , took no notice , that whosoever was reconciled to Rome , stood debarr'd from all Offices , and obnoxious to several kinds of punishment , but still out of the number of Papists , or else such as were of no Religion at all , ( which was the same thing for his purposes ) chose his Embassadors , Generals , Ministers of State , and many of his greatest Bishops too . What else recommended Sir W. Godolphin to be Embassador in Spain , or Sir Lionel I. to be his Plenipotentiary at Nimeguen , and afterwards his drudging Sham-plot Secretary . It was his being a zealous Roman Catholick that preferr'd the Lord Clifford to the Treasurers Staff , with several others of the same stamp to other high Preferments , more Eminent for their Dignities than for their Parts ; and lastly , what was it but this Indulgence , and finding ways to dismiss the Papists without any harm or damage when Indicted or Presented at the Sessions , that advanced so many Beneplacito Judges , and continued them in their Places . I had almost forgot another very great kindness which the same Parliament did him ; which was at the Private Instance of the King , to abrogate the Triennial Act , by which the sitting of Parliaments once in three years was infallibly secur'd to the Kingdom . So well did his Majesty know where the Shoe pinch'd him ; and so crafty was he to take his Advantage from the Delirium and Frenzy the Nation was in upon his Restoration , to obtain the repealing of the Principal Laws by which his wriggling into Arbitrary Government would have been curb'd and restrain'd . But whether it were that the Prodigal Zeal of those Members began to cool , conscious perhaps that they had already open'd too large a Gap to Tyrannous Invasion upon the Liberties of the People , which they had so treacherously laid at the Kings Mercy ; or whether it were that the King resolv'd to quicken his pace to Arbitrary Rule , to the end he might see Popery flourish in his own Days , certain it is that his next Attempt was to make the Parliaments themselves the Ministers and Instruments of his own Popish Ambition , and our Slavery . In order hereunto he falls a buying and purchasing , at certain and annual Rates , the Votes of the Members ; at what time the greatness of the number of those who stood ready for Sale , as well as their Indigencies and Lusts , made the Price at which they were to be bought so much the easier . Now being thus hir'd by his Majesty , with their own free Offerings of the Nations Money ; How many Bills did they pass into Acts for enslaving and ruining a third part of the Kingdom , under the Notion of Phanaticks and Dissenters , and all this in gratitude for their Sallaries , and to accomplish the Will and Pleasure of their Lord and Master the King , whose bought and purchas'd Vassals and Slaves they were ? All this while what can we say or think other , but that the Purchaser as well as the Sellers were equally guilty of betraying the People who had entrusted them ? And then to make a President by Law for Tyranny , those Hirelings empower'd the Iustices of the Peace to disseize Men of their Estates , without being convicted and found guilty by Legal Juries , of the Transgressions whereof they stood accus'd : By which they not only overthrew all the Common and Statute Law of the Land , but they subverted and altered the Fundamental Constitution , in making English Men liable to be ruin'd at the Arbitrary Pleasure of the King. And as an addition to this , those Mercinary Members , by the Orders and Directions of their most Pious and Protestant Paymaster the King , past another Law , which was stiled the Act for Corporations , by which Men of Principles and Integrity were debarred all Offices of Magistracy in Cities and Corporate Towns. The woful Effects of which the Kingdom not long after both saw and felt , in the Surrenders of Charters , and betraying of Franchises , by Persons upon whom the Government of the Corporations came to be devolv'd by Vertue of that Act. For that had it not been for that Act which excluded so many honest , able , and vertuous Men , the Persons whom the King for his by-ends nominated for fit and loyal Men , would never have risen above the Office of Scavengers , or Headboroughs , or Constables at the highest . To this , as a thing that mainly contributed to the King's design of enslaving us , we may subjoyn their passing an Act whereby they did both limit and confine the number of those that were to present Petitions to the King , not to exceed Ten Persons . Let the Matter to be represented be ne're so important , or the Grievance to be redress'd never so illegal and oppressive , yet it was made no less then a Riot , if above Ten Persons address'd themselves to the King to crave the Benefit of the Law. A Trouble which the King carefully provided against , knowing how many Laws he had to break , and how burthensom and oppressive he must be to the People , before he could compleat the Fabrick of Slavery and Popery which he was erecting . Nor was this all ; for the King strenuously pursuing his Design of being sincere and cordial to the destruction of his People , had so bephilter'd them with his Potions of Aurum Potabile , that they pass'd another Act to his Hearts desire , whereby they plac'd the whole and sole Power of the Militia in the King : not only encouraging him to use Force in compassing his Arbitrary Designs , but binding up the Hands of the People from defending themselves against armed Violence upon their Religigion , Liberties , and Lives . Add to this the vast sums which they gave him , beyond what the Support of the Government , or the Defence of the Nation requir'd : Which might have produc'd fatal Consequences , but that the King knew as little a Measure in spending , as that unhappy Parliament did in giving . The King therefore conscious of his own Failing , and finding that through his own Wastfulness , and the Importunities of his consuming Misses , he could not depend upon any limited and definite Sum for accomplishing his Promises to his Holy Father the Pope , and his trusty Confederate the French King , got Two Bills prepar'd and carry'd into the House , the Passing of which had compleated the Nations Misery , and made him Absolute . The one was to empower his Majesty upon Extraordinary Occasions ( of which he would not have fail'd to have been the Judge as often as he pleas'd ) to raise Money without a Parliament : And the other was , for setling a Universal Excise upon the Crown . The Passing either of which , the King well knew would have soon ●nabl'd him to have govern'd by Basha's and Ianizaries , and redeem'd him from having any further need of Parliaments , or any apprehension of having the Instruments of his Tyranny impeach'd by Them. But what the King had so finely projected to enslave the Nation , and obtain whatever he had a mind to , prov'd the Ground of their Disappointment , and the Occasion of the Nations Escape from the Snare that was laid for it . For the Mercenary Members foreseeing that the passing these Bills would have put an end to their Pensions , by rendring them useless for the time to come , consulted their Gain , and preferring it above what the Court styl'd their Loyalty , fell in with the Honest Party , and so became assistant in throwing out the Bills . However , the very bringing the Bills into the House , was as clear an Evidence of the King's Intention to alter the Government , and enslave the Nation , as if they had pass'd into Laws . And some of his Minions , that knew the King's Drift , and the inside of his Heart , were so zealous for him to have gain'd this Arbitrary Power , that they would have it argu'd and spoken to in the House of Lords . And who but the Popish Lord Clifford should be the Man that ventur'd to undertake the Business ? And accordingly , he made a long Harrangue in praise of Absolute Monarchy , and how much it would be for the Interest of the Kingdom to have his Majesty entrusted with a more unlimited Authority . Which some of the Lords resenting , with a Warmth and Indignation becoming Persons , who by the Constitutions of the Governmeut were design'd for a Bulwark against the Encroachments of Regal Power , and as a Fence about the Liberties of the People , the Motion not only dy'd without being seconded , but Clifford , even by him who had encourag'd him in his Attempt , was call'd a rash Fool for his pains . However , Pious AEneas finding the Nation grew sensible of his covert Intentions and Encroachments upon their Laws and Liberties , and despairing to get any more Acts pass'd in Parliament toward the promoting his Designs , resolv'd to husband the Laws he had already obtain'd , as much as he could , to the Ruine of the Nation ; and where they fail'd of being serviceable to his Ends , to betake himself to other Methods and Means . And therefore , besides the daily impoverishing , confining , and destroying of infinite numbers of honest and peaceable People , under pretence of executing the Laws , he made it his Business to invent new Projects to tear up the Rights and Liberties of the People , by ways and means which had not the least shadow of a Law to countenance them ; of which more in due place . Having made this fair Progress toward the enslaving both the Souls and Bodies of his own Subjects at home , let us take a View of his Zeal to the Protestant Religion abroad . And first , for the Protestants of France , his Care and Tenderness for them may be easily conjectur'd from hence , that the first Edicts issu'd forth by Lewis the Fourteenth for their Persecution , bear date with the Time and Year of his Most Protestant Majesties Restauration . And from that day to this , in stead of interceding or concerning himself in their behalf , he has , by his own Example , and his strict Correspondence with the French King , both countenanc'd and encourag'd their Oppression ; which the French King at that time , when he was formidable in the Love of his Subjects , durst no more have prosecuted , than Mazarine durst proceed in his Fury against the Hugonots , when more Pious Oliver bestir'd himself in their Favour . But our Protestant Monarch was so far from sending Succour to the French Protestants , that he betray'd those to the Rage of the French Tyrant , that came to invoke his Aid in their behalf . For when Monsieur Rohan came into England , to acquaint his Pious Majesty with the Resolutions taken at Paris , to persecute , and if possible , to root out the Reformed in France , and propos'd such Overtures to the King as would have been greatly for his Glory and Interest , yet no way contrary to the Allegiance of that poor People , he remitted the Monsieur to his Brother the D. of York , who not only inform'd the French Embassador of the Gentleman's Errand , but plac'd him behind the Hangings , to hear whatever Monsieur Rohan had to represent and propose to him . Which altho the Embassador could not but abhor in the two Brothers , and was asham'd of in himself , yet he could do no less then inform his Master of what he had seen and heard . Upon which the poor Gentleman , upon his Return out of England , was so narrowly watch'd , and so closely pursu'd , that being apprehended upon the Borders of Switzerland , he was carried back to Paris and there broken upon the Wheel . Nor did it satisfie the King , and his dear Brother the Duke , to have thus betray'd as well as abandon'd the Protestants in France ; but with the utmost Malice that Popery could inspire into them , they sought the Destruction of the Seven United Provinces , upon no other Account but of their being Protestant States , and for giving shelter to those who being persecuted by himself and his Confederate the French Tyrant for their Religion , fled thither for Protection and Safety . For knowing what in due time they intended to bring upon the Protestants at home , they thought it most requisite to destroy those Protestant States in the first place , that there might remain no Sanctuary for their persecuted Subjects . And indeed , abating this and one more Ground of their Quarrel with those States , never was a War undertaken upon more unjust and frivolous Pretences , then those Two which the King engag'd in against the Seven Provinces , in the Years 1667. and 1672. Nor can any thing justifie the Discretion and Wisdom of those Wars , had they not been undertaken meerly in subserviency to the promoting Popery and Slavery ; seeing that upon all other Grounds that Reason and Prudence can suggest , it was the Interest of England , as still it is , to preserve the Government of Holland entire . Nor can we have a truer Accompt of the Grounds upon which the two Monarchs of England and France agreed the War against Holland in the Year 1672. then by the Representation which the French Embassador made of it both at Rome and Vienna . For tho' his Publick Declaration pretended no more but that it was to seek Reparation for the Diminution of his Glory , yet the Accompt he gave to the Pope of his Master's , and consequently of our Protestant Monarch , his strict Confederate's undertaking that War , was , that he did it in order to the Extirpation of Heresie . And in the same manner they sought to justifie the Piety of that Enterprise to his Imperial Majesty , by alledging , That the Hollanders were a People that had forsaken God , and were Hereticks , and that all good Christians were bound to associate and unite for their Extirpation . Upon which accompt , it seems , our King and the Duke thought fit to exchange the Appellation of Good Protestants for that of Good Christians . However , from hence it was plain what sort of Good Christians they were , since it was as evident , that their uniting with France in that War , was to destroy the Protestant Dutch Hereticks . And that we may yet more fully understand the Motive upon which the King embark't in that bloody and expensive War , it is worthy observation , how that when the French King made it one of his Propositions upon which he would be contented to receive the States into his ancient Friendship , That they should not only allow the Publick Exercise of the Roman Catholick Religion over all the United Provinces , but that they should appoint a Sallary to the Priest allotted to the Churches which the Papists by that Demand were to enjoy ; the King of England being no less concerned for Popery then his Brother of France , gave the States to understand by his Plenipotentiaries , That without their Concession of the foregoing Demand of the King of France , he could not return to Peace with them . So that not only from the Motive upon which the War was commenc'd , but from the Proposals which he urg'd them to consent to , in order to a Peace , we have a most convincing Proof of his Majesty's being no zealous Protestant , but rather quite the contrary ; and of his pious Inclinations to the Extirpation as well as weakning the Protestant Religion in the United Provinces . Certainly a most thankful Acknowledgment , and Royal Requital of those Provinces , for the many Kindnesses which they had vouchsaf'd him during his Exile , and for their Favours , their liberal Entertainments & the high Honours which they had paid him , when he made their Country the last Stage of his Retreat , in order to his Return to his Crown and Kingdom . But this must be ascrib'd to his Zeal for promoting the Catholick Religion , which attones for all Defects of Justice and Gratitude , and ought to be imputed to those Principles of Popery which he had suck't in with the French Air , and which have a peculiar Vertue and Faculty to expel all Morality and good Nature . These being the real Grounds and Motives that induc'd the King of England to begin that Impolitick War against the Dutch in the year 1665. whatever was openly and publickly pretended , how strangely was the Parliament deluded and blinded by the King's Oaths and Protestations of his Zeal for the Protestant Religion ! What vast Sums of the Subjects Money they gave the perfidious Monarch , to defray the Expences of that unnecessary and baneful War , is too well known ; and yet after all , saving one brisk Engagement , ill-manag'd , tho' with some Loss to the Dutch , at length no Fleet was set out , and the choicest of the Royal Navy either burnt or taken in Harbour , to save Charges . And tho' the French at length join'd themselves in assistance with the Dutch against us , yet by the Credit he had with the Queen Mother , he so far impos'd upon Charles the Second , no less ready for his own private Conveniencies to be impos'd upon , that upon assurance , which no Man of Prudence and Foresight would have believ'd , that the Dutch would have no Fleet at Sea that Year , he forbore to make ready , and so incurr'd that ignominious Disgrace at Chatham , the like to which the English never suffer'd since they claim'd the Dominion of the Sea. And which was more , as he had been beholden to his great Friend the King of France for the Ignominy he had suffer'd , so was he glad to receive the Peace from his Favour , which was concluded at Breda . And now we come to the best Act that ever he did in his Life , had he had the Grace to pursue it ; which shew'd how happy a Prince he might have been , had he been ever faithful to his own and the Interests of his People , and that Religion which he outwardly profest . For upon conclusion of that Peace , having leisure to look about him , and to observe how the French had in the Year 1667. taken their Opportunity , and while we were embroyl'd and weakned by the late War , had , in violation of all the most Sacred and Solemn Oaths and Treaties , invaded and taken a great part of the Spanish Netherlands , which had always been consider'd as the Natural Frontier of England ; the King then prompted more by his own Fears , then out of any kindness he had for the Nation , judg'd it necessary to interpose , before the Flames that consum'd his next Neighbour should throw their Sparkles over the Water . Thereupon he sent Sir William Temple , then his Resident at Brussels , to propose a nearer Alliance with the Hollanders , and to take joint Measures against the French : Which Proposals of Sir William Temple's being entertain'd with all Compliance with the Dutch , within Five days after Two several Treaties were concluded between the King and the States : The one , a Defensive and Stricter League than before , between the Two Nations ; and the other , a Joint and Reciprocal Engagement to oppose the Conquest of Flanders , and to procure , either by way of Mediation , or by Force of Arms , a speedy Peace between France and Spain , upon the Terms therein mentioned . And because Sweden came into the same Treaty within a very little while after , from the Three Parties concern'd and engag'd , it was call'd the Triple League . In pursuance of which , the Treaty of Aix la Chapelle was also forc'd upon the French , and in some manner upon the Spaniards , who were very unwilling to part with so great a Part of their Country by a Solemn Treaty . But both the King and the Hollanders thought it a very great and good Work , and judg'd it an extraordinary Happiness , not only for Spain , but for all Europe , to come off with a broken Pate , and to have at least for that while kept France from going farther . Besides all this , to tye the Knot the faster , and take even the very thoughts from the French King of ever stirring , or being troublesom to his Neighbour , the King sent an Extraordinary Envoy to several Princes of Germany , to invite them into the Triple League , and his Minister to perswade them to it , laid open with no less heat then plainness , the danger all Europe was in ; urging the insensibility of most Princes , and their carelesness , the watchful Ambition of the French , the Greatness of their Forces , and the little Reason there was to trust him . In fine , omitting nothing that could Alarm all the World , and procure a general Confederacy against the Common Oppressor . More than this , in regard the Spaniards were very much wanting to themselves , by their backwardness in the Payment of the Subsidies promised to Sweden ; the King af England , being not without some fears , least the Swedes should fall off , uless the Money agreed upon , were paid them without farther delay ; he offer'd to advance part of it himself , and had accordingly done it , in case the Dutch would have advanced the rest . The Kidg of France thus stopp'd in his Career by the Tripple League , and by the Peace of Aix la Chapelle , soon after concluded , though for a while he dissembled his dissatisfaction , yet resolved to untye the Tripple Knot whatever it cost him . To which purpose the Dutchess of Orleans was sent over , as one that would be a welcom Guest to her Brother , and whose Charms ●nd Dexterity , joyn'd with her other ad●antages , would give her such an ascen●ent over him , as could not fail of Success ; ●nd indeed she acquitted her self so well ●f her Commission , that she quite supplanted all the King 's good Councils , and by yielding to his Incestuous Embraces , while the D. of B. held the Door , so charmed his most Sacred Majesty , and he quite and clean forgot his Tripple League , and entred into a new and stricter Alliance with France than ever . 'T is true , the Peace was dear bought by the Zealous Lady , in regard it cost her her Life upon her return into France . For though she might seem to have atton'd for the Crime , and to have merited forgiveness from her Husband , by the advantageous League which she had pleasantly syren'd her Brother to make with the French Monarch ; yet jealous and incensed Orleance was not so much a lover of his Country , as to remit the Indignity done to his Bed , or such a Bigot as to pardon the Woman that had sacrificed his Honour to the Interest of Popery . However the Articles being thus sealed at Dover by his Majesty , the Marquis of Belfonds was immediately sent hither , and a Person of great Honour sent thither , and so the League it self being drawn into form , was ratified on both sides . This Treaty was for a long time a work of Darkness , and lay long concealed ▪ til● the King of France to the end the King of England , being truly set forth in hi● Colours , out of a dis●air of ever being trusted or forgiven by his People hereafter , might be push't to go on barefac'd and follow his steps in Government , as well as Religion , most treacherously and unking-like , caused it to be Printed at Paris ; tho upon Complaint made at the French Court , it was again stifled , and the Author tho' he had his instructions from Colbert , to humour the King , committed to the Bastile for a short time , and then let out again . However the Book being Printed , some few Copies lit into safe hands ; from whence take the Substance of that Mystery of Iniquity as follows . After that M. de Croisy , the French Embassador at London , had laid before the Eyes of the King of England , all the Grounds which his Majesty had of Complaint against Holland , &c. He told him , that the time was come to revenge himself of a Nation that had so little respect for Kings ; and that the occasion was never more favourable , seeing many of the Princes of Germany were already entered into the League ; and that the King of France was powerful enough to be able to promise to his Allies in the Issue of that War satisfaction , both as to their Honour and Interests , whereby he prevailed with that Prince to enter into secret Alliance with France . And for his greater Assurance , and the more to confirm him , Henrietta Dutchess of Orleans went for England , and proposed to her Brother , in the Name of the Most Christian King , that he would assure him an Absolute Authority over his Parliament , and full Power to establish the Catholick Religion in his Kingdoms of England , Scotland and Ireland . But withal she told him , that to compass this , before all things else , it would be necessary to abate the Pride and Power of the Dutch , and to reduce them to the sole Province of Holland ; and that by this means the King of England should have Zealand for a Retreat in case of necessity , and that the rest of the Low-Countries should remain to the King of France , if he could render himself Master of it . This is the Sum of that famous League concluded at Dover , fram'd and enter'd into on purpose , for the Subjugation of these three Nations to Popery and Slavery . However as at first this Treaty was kept so close , that it was no way to be discover'd , so before the Effects appear'd , it was necessary that the Parliament , after the old wont , should be gull'd to the giving of Money , for the carrying on this grand and deep Conspiracy . The Parliament met Octob. 24. 1670. where the Lord Keeper Bridgeman , guided more by his Instructions than by any knowledge he had of the devilish Design , omitted nothing to make Both Houses sensible of the great Service done to England , and in a manner to all Mankind , by chaining up the devouring Lyon , that was never satiated with Prey ; and the more to incite their Liberality , he told them of several other Leagues , which the King , for the good of his People , and the Advancement of the Trade of the Nation , had made with other Princes ; as the D. of Savoy , the King of Denmark , and the King of Spain ; by which , as his Lordship was pleased to say , it was evident , that all the Princes of Europe sought his Majesties Friendship , as acknowledging they could not secure , much less improve , their present Condition without it ; concluding , that for the Support of these Alliances , the annual Charge of His Majesties Navy , came to no less than Five hundred thousand Pounds , nor could be maintain'd with less . Upon the telling of which Story , notwithstanding the immense Sums lavish'd to no purpose , or rather to our Loss , in the former War with Holland ; notwithstanding they had given the Additional Duty upon Wines for Eight years , amounting to Five hundred and sixty thousand Pounds , and confirmed the Sale of the Fee farm Rents , no less their Gift , being a part of the Publick Revenue , to the value of one Million , and Eight hundred thousand Pounds , they could not hold , but gave with both hands again a Subsidy of Twelve Pence in the Pound to the real value of all Lands , and other Estates proportionably , with several more beneficial Clauses in the Bargain ; to which they joyned the Additional Excise upon Beer , Ale , &c. And lastly the Law Bill , which being summ'd up together , could not be estimated at less than two Millions and half . So that for the Tripple League here was a Tripple Supply , and the Subject had now all the reason to believe , that this Alliance which had been fix'd at first by the Publick Interest , Safety and Honour , was by these three Grants , as with three Golden Nails , sufficiently clinched and rivetted . But now therefore was the most proper Time and Occasion , for the King and his chosen Ministers to give Demonstrations of their Fidelity to the French Monarch , and for his Sacred Majesty by the Forfeiture of all these Obligations to his Subjects , and the Princes abroad , and at the Expence of all this Treasure , given for quite contrary Uses , to recommend himself the more meritoriously to his Patronage . The Parliament , therefore , after they had given all this Money , were presently Prorogued , and sat no more till the latter end of February , 1672. that there might be a competent time allowed , for so great a work as was designed , and that the Architects of our Ruine might be so long free from the busie and odious Inspection of the Parliament , till the work were finish'd . And now all Applications made by his Majesty of Great Britain , to induce Foreign Princes into the Garranty of the Peace of Aix la Chapelle , ceased ; while on the other side , those who desired to be admitted into it , were here rejected . The Duke of Lorrain , who had always been a true Friend to the King , and for his Affection to the Tripple League , had incurred the French King's Displeasure with the loss of his Country , Seizd upon in the year 1669. against all the Laws not only of Peace , but Hostility ; yet by vertue of the Dover Treaty , was refused the favour to which others had been so earnestly invited ; and though his Envoy was sent back with Complements and many Expressions of Kindness , yet he was told withal , that the French Invasion was a torrent not to be stopp'd at that time : which was as much as to say , the Case was alter'd and the Tripple League must signifie nothing . At the same time also the Emperour , by a Letter , invited himself into the same Garranty , in conformity to one of the Articles of the said Treaty of Aix . Upon receipt of which Letter , the King assured the Spanish Embassador , that he was glad his Imperial Majesty was so ready to come into the League , and told him , he would cause an Instrument to be prepared in order to his Admission . But when the Resolution was taken , and orders given for preparing the said Instrument , it was moved , that Mr. Secretary Trevor , ( who was not initiated in their holy Mysteries ) might not have the drawing of it , though it was his proper Province . By which means the Popish Cabal having made themselves sole Masters of the thing , at first a reasonable honest Draught was brought in ; but before it was perfected , Monsieur Colbert being consulted , the King was possessed with an opinion , that the admitting the Emperor would be attended with dangerous Consequences , and that in case he came into the League , his Majesty would be engaged in all his Quarrels , and bound to make his Forces March into the farthest parts of Germany , as often as it should happen to be Invaded by the Great Turk ; which Secretary Trevor oppos'd as much as he was able , and endeavoured to satisfie the King , that the Garranty of the Tripple League , as well as of the Treaty of Aix , related only to Hostilities , either from France or Spain ; yet the wary Men of the Cabal being on the King's side , carry'd it , and so the Emperor was put off with a Flamm . Nay , so soon as the Two Confederate Monarchs had thus made a shift to cut the Gordian Knot , the now pitiful , but formerly vaunted Tripple League , was trampled under foot , turn'd into Ridicule , and less valued than a Ballad . Insomuch , that to talk of admitting others into the Tripple League , was reprehended in print as a kind of Figure of Speech , commonly called a Bull. And farther , to shew how much he hated the thoughts of the Triple League , which he had made for the good of Christendom , his most Sacred Majesty suffered an Agent of his , one Marsilly , whom he had sent to invite the Switzers into the Garranty , who was Surprized and taken Prisoner by the French , in the execution of the Commands he had not many Months before received from Whitehall , to be broken upon the Wheel at Paris , tho one single Word from the King would have sav'd his Life . Neither did he take it ill , that upon the Scaffold , Twenty Questions were put to him relating to his own Person : or that in such a publick and infamous Place , a strict inquiry should be made as to what had pass'd between him and the King of England ; for that was the best Title they could afford him for all his late Favours . And thus it is plain , that the Tripple League was broken , for no other ends than to be subservient to the ends of the French King , to ruin the Dutch , and to bring the Three Kindoms of England , Ireland , and Scotland , under the Yoaks of Arbitrary Power and Roman Catholick Idolatry , after a total Abolition of the name of Parliaments , and subversion of the Fundamental Laws , Gratias tibi piissime atque invictissime Rex , Carole Secunde . And tha● he might not , as much as in him lay , meet with after-rubs , Mr. H. C. dispatch'd into Sweden to dissolve the Tripple League in that Kingdom ; which he did so effectually , by co-operating with the French Ministers in that Court , that the Swede after it came to Rupture , never assisted to any purpose , or prosecuted the Ends of the said Alliance , only by arming himself at the expence of the League , first under a disguised Mediation , acted the French Interest , and at last threw off his Vizard , and drew his Sword on the French side in the Quarrel . And at home , when the Project ripen'd and grew hopeful , the Lord Keeper was discharged from his Office , and both he , the D. of Ormond , Prince Rupert and Secretary Trevor , were discarded out of the Committee for Forreign Affairs , as being too honest to comply with the Intreagues then on foot : Mr. Trevor being the first Secretary of State that was ever left out of a Commission of that Importance . All things being so well thus far disposed toward a War with Holland , there wanted only a Quarrel , and to pick one required much invention . The East-India Company was summon'd to know whether they had any thing to object against them : but the Dutch had so punctually complyed with all the Conditions of the Peace at Breda , that nothing could there be found out . And as to the Tripple League , they were out at the same time in pursuance of it , and to be ready upon occasion to relieve the the Spanish Netherlands , which were then threatned by the French. But at length a way was found out that never hapned , because it was never so much as imagin'd before , by sending the Fanfan , a sorry inconsiderable Yatcht , but bearing the English Flag , with Orders to sail into the middle of the Dutch Fleet , single out the Admiral , and to fire two Guns at him ; a thing as ridiculous , as for a Lark to dare a Hobby . However , the Commander in Chief , in respect to his Majesties Colours , and in consideration of the Amity between both Nations , paid the Admiral of the Yatcht a Visit , to know the reason of his Anger ; and understanding it was because the whole Fleet had fail'd to strike to his Oyster-boat ; the Dutch Commander excus'd it , as a thing that never hapned before , and therefore could have no Instructions in it ; and so they parted . But the Captain of the Yatcht having thus acquitted himself , return'd full freighted , with the Quarrel he was sent for . Which yet for several Months was pass'd over here in silence , but to be afterwards improv'd as the design ripen'd : For there was yet one jolly prank more to be plaid at home , to make the King more capable of what was shortly after to be executed upon his Neighbours . The Exchequer for some years before , by the Bait of more than ordinary Gain , had decoy'd in the greatest part of the most wealthy Goldsmiths , and they the rest of the Money'd People of the Nation , by the due payment of Interest , till the King was run in Debt , upon what account no body knew , above Two Millions : Which served for one of the Pretences in the Lord Keeper's Speech at the Opening of the Parliament , to demand and obtain a Grant of the forementioned Supplies , and might plentifully have suffic'd to disengage the King with Peace and any tolerable Good Husbandry . But as if it had been perfidious to have apply'd them to any of the Purposes declar'd , instead of Payment , it was privately resolv'd to shut up the Exchequer , lest any part of the Money should have been legally expended , but that all might be appropriated to the Holy War in prospect , and those far more pious Uses to which the King had dedicated it . This Affair was carried on with all the secresie imaginable , lest the unseasonable venting of it should have spoil'd the Wit and Malice of the Design . So that all on a sudden , upon the First of Ianuary 1671. to the great astonishment , ruine , and despair of so many interested Persons , and to the Terror of the whole Nation , by so Arbitrary a Fact , the Proclamation issu'd forth , in the midst of the Confluence of such vast Aids and so great a Revenue , whereby the Crown publish'd it self Bankrupt , made Prize of the Subject , and broke all Faith and Contract at home , in order to the breaking of both abroad with more advantage . What was this but a Robbery committed upon the People under the Bond and Security of the Royal Faith ? by which many hundreds were as really impoverish'd and undone , as if he had violently broken into their Houses , and taken their Money out of their Coffers . Nay , that would have look'd Generous and Great , whereas the other was base and sneaking . Only it seem'd more agreeable to his Majesties Temper , to rob his Subjects by a Trick , than to plunder them by direct and open Force . Of alliance to this , only with some more G●ains , if more could be , of Vileness and Unworthiness in it , was that Action also , of seizing part of the Money collected for the Redemption of Slaves out of Argiers , and fetching it from the Chamber of London , where it lay deposited to that end , into the Treasury , from whence it was to be dispos'd and made use of for the Enslaving the Nation . Could there be an Action of greater barbarity , than to take the Charity and Benevolence of good People , which had been given toward the Releasing of poor Christian Captives from Mahometan Thraldom , and to turn it either into Wages for his Myrmidons , or into Pensions to reward suborn'd Witnesses for swearing the Innocent out of their Lives ? There remain'd nothing now , but that the King , after this famous Exploit upon his own Subjects , should manifest his Impartiality to Forreigners , and assert the Justice of his intended Quarrel with the Hollanders . Thereupon the Dispute about the Flag , upon occasion of the Fanfan Yacht , was started afresh ; and a great noise was made of infamous Libels , horrid Pictures , Pillars set up , and Medals coin'd to the infinite dishonour of his Majesties Person , his Crown and Dignity ; tho' not one of those Libels or Pictures could be produced ; and as for the Pillars , they never had any Being , but in the Imaginations of those that made it their Business to raise Jealousies between the two Nations . 'T is true , there was a Medal coin'd , which might have been spar'd ; but so soon as it was known in Holland that Exceptions were taken at it , the Stamp was broken to pieces . Then the Difficulties which arose about the Surrender of Surinam were improv'd to the height , and this after Secretary Trevor had adjusted the Matter with the States . Though these things were handl'd so nicely , as if they had been afraid of being prevented in their design , by receiving all the satisfaction they could have desired from the Dutch. The Dutch therefore being not conscious of any Provocation which they had given the English , but of their readiness , if there had been any , to repair it , and relying upon the Faith of the Kings Treaties and Alliances , pursu'd their Traffick and Navigation through the English Seas without the least suspicion . And accordingly a numerous and rich Fleet of Merchant-men from Smyrna and Spain , were on their Voyage homeward near the Isle of Wight , under a small Convoy of five or six Men of War. This was the Fleet , in expectation of which the King had so long deferr'd the War to plunder them in Peace . The Wealth of this was that , which by its ponderous weight , turn'd the Ballance of all his Publick Justice and Honour . With this Treasure he imagined he should be in stock for all the Wickdness he was capable to act , and that he should never after this Addition stand himself in need , nor his Instruments in fear of a Parliament . To this purpose Sir R. H. being pitch'd upon for the Exploit , according to his Instructions , fell in among them , with the Squadron under his Command : But the Dutch Merchant-men themselves , and their small Convoy , so bestir'd themselves , that Sir Robert finding himself not strong enough , was forced to give over the Enterprize ; So that all the Booty that was gotten hardly sufficed to pay the Surgeons and Carpenters . And so hotly did the King pursue his Chase of the Protestant Religion , that while he was so piously and justly Violating his Royal Contracts upon the Sea , in order to his mastering the Protestant Religion abroad , he at the same time was undermining and sapping it at home . For while he was trying his Fortune in Battel with the Smyrna Fleet , a Declaration for Liberty of Conscience was Printing off at the Press , as a more proper means than Fasting and Prayer , to propitiate for Success to his Enterprize , and to the War that must second it . By this Declaration , all the Penal Laws against Papists , for which former Parliaments had given so many vast Sums , were in one Instant suspended , in order to defraud the Nation of all that Religion which they had so dearly purchas'd , and for which they ought at least , the Bargain being broken , to have been reimburs'd . By all which , it was plain that the King did all that lay in his power toward the advancement of Popery and Slavery , but that still his luck was nought . For , having been thus true to his great Design , and made so considerable a Progress , though with an inauspicious beginning , at length he thought it high time to declare the War , after he had begun it . And though in subservience to France and his Dover T●eaty , he undertook to be formost to discompose the State of all Ch●istendom ; and though he made himself Principal to all the horrid Destructions , Devastations , Ravage and Slaughter , which after that ensued , yet had he the Confidence , in the winding up of his Manifesto , to expose the following Words to the World. And whereas we are engaged by a Treaty , to support the Peace made at Aix la Chapelle , We do finally declare , That notwithstanding the Prosecution of this War , we will maintain the true intent and Scope of the said Treaty ; and that in all Alliances which We have , or shall make in the Progress of this War , We have and will take care to preserve the ends thereof inviolable , unless provoked to the contrary . And yet it was as clear as the Sun , that the French had by the Treaty of Aix la Chapelle , agreed to acquiesce in their former Conquests of Flanders , and that the English Swedes and Hollanders , were reciprocally bound to be aiding against whomsoever should disturb that Regulation : Besides the League Offensive and Defensive , which the King had made with the States General ; all which by this Conjunction with France , was dash'd in pieces . So that what is here declared , were it reconsilable to Truth , yet could not consist with possibility , unless by one only Exception , that the English , who by their new league with France , were to be the Breakers of the Peace of Aix , and by the Tripple League , were to fulfil their Obligations to both Parties , should have sheath'd the Sword in our own Bowels . But such was the Zeal of the King and his select Instrument , for the Promotion of Slavery and Popery , that it easily transported them to say what was untrue , or to undertake what was impossible , for the Service of the French. And now the French King seeing the English engaged past all retreat , comes in with his Fleet ; not to fight , but only to sound our Seas , to spy our Ports , to learn our Building , to learn our way of Fighting , and to consume ours , and preserve his own Navy . For no sooner had the D. of York , as the design was laid , suffered himself to be shamefully surprized , but the Vice-Admiral , the Earl of Sandwich , was sacrificed , and the rest of the English Fleet so torn and mangled , that the English Honour was laid not in the Dust , but in the Mud , while his Royal Highness did all that was expected from him , and M. d'Estrees , who commanded the French , did all that he was sent for . There were three other several Engagements of ours with the Dutch the next Summer . But while nothing was tenable at Land against the French , so it seemed , that to the English every thing was impregnable at Sea , which was not to be attributed to the want of Courage or Conduct of the then Commanders , but rather to the unlucky Conjunction of the English with the French , like the Disasters that happen to Men by being in ill Company . In the mean time , the hopes of the Spanish and Smirna Fleet being vanished , the slender Allowance from the French not sufficing to defray farther Charges , and the ordinary Revenue of His Majesty , with all the former Aids , being in less than one years time exhausted ; the Parliament , with the King 's most gracious leave , was permitted to sit again at the time appointed . At what time , at the King 's and the Lord Keeper's usual daubing way , the War was first communicated to them ▪ and the Causes , the Necessity , the Danger so well painted out , that upon the King 's earnest Suit , the Commons , though in a War begun without their Advice , readily Voted the Royal Mumper no less than One million two hundred and fifty thousand Pounds ; though they would not say it was for the War , but for the King 's extraordinary Occasions . Nevertheless it was but yet a Vote to Embryo ; and therefore now beginning in grow more sensible of the true Causes of the Quarrel they prepared an Act before they let the Money-Bill slip out of their Hands , by which the Papists were obliged to pass through a new State Purgatory , if they intended to be capable of any Publick Employment . The Declaration also of Indulgence was questioned , which tho His Majesty had , out of his Princely and Gracious Inclinations to Popery , and the Memory of some former Obligations , granted for the sake of the Papists , yet greedy after the Coin , he was pleased to cancel at the humble request . as he pretended , of the Parliament , and declared , it should be no President for the future : After which compelled by his want of a fresh Supply , he passed the Bill concerning the Papists , in exchange for the Money ; and then the Parliament growing uneasie , they were again sent a Grazing for a good while . The King hoping when he had the management of the Cash , to frustrate the Effect of the Act which he had passed against his good Friends the Roman Catholicks . And now the King having got the Money in his Hands , a new Project was set on foot to set up an Army in England , for the introducing of Slavery and Popery , under pretence of Landing in Holland : Which was raised with all the Expedition imaginable ; over which , as Colonel Fitzgerald , an Irish Papist , was made Major General , so were the greatest number of the Captains and other Officers of the same Stamp . And because that pretence was soon blown over , it was afterward still continued on foot , under the more plausible Colour of a War with France . But after all these cunning Contrivances to alter the Religion and Government of the Nation , the King being disappointed in all his Projects , and finding that the Parliament , grown more sensible of his abstruse designs , and alarum'd at his extraordinary new Militia , both Burthensom and unnecessary for any other Employment but the support of Arbitrary Power , would give him no more Money , but began to call his Ministers in question , was forc'd to make a Peace with the Dutch , and disband the Army to his great regret . However , what he could not do at hope , he resolved to do abroad ; and therefore the English , Scotch and Irish Regiments , that were already in the French Service , were not only kept up in their full Complement , but new numbers of Soldiers were daily transported thither , to make up in all a constant Body of Ten thousand Men. Which was done on purpose that he might have an Army train'd up under the French Discipline and Principles , ready seasoned to be call'd back into England for the Execution of any opportune Enterprize upon his Protestant Subjects . Thus far we have seen the King's inveterate Malice to his Neighbours and Allies the Dutch , meerly upon the account of their being Protestants , and Protectors of the Protestant Religion , and his pernicious Conjunction with the French King , to their utter Destruction and Desolation . A continued Series of Treachery and Faith-breaking , which only that Romish Principle , That there is no Faith to be kept with Hereticks , could have infused into his Breast . Now let us take a short view of his Carriage , from the beginning of his Restoration , to the French King , the Mortal Enemy of his Subjects , and the Religion which they profess . It is well known in general , how much the Extraordinary Kindness of Charles the Second to Lewis the Fourteenth , has contributed to that vast increase of Shipping and Experience in the Art of Navigation , to which they are now arrived ; which no Prince in the World that might have been so strong at Sea as his Majesty might have been , with half the Expence which he squander'd away to ruin the nation , had he been sensible in the least of his own Grandure , the welfare of his ow Subjects , and the danger of having so potent a Rival for the Dominion of the Sea , which God and Nature seemed to have appropriated to himself . We have been told of brisk Messenger sent to the French Kings , so soon as they did but lay the Carkass of a pitiful Flyboat upon the Stocks . But such was the Complaisance of our Supine Monarch , that he not only connived at the industrious Preparations of the French King , but lent him his helping Hand to make him Master of his own Rights . When they had none of their own , he sent Vice-Admirals , and other considerable Sea-Officers , to encourage and promote the setting out of their Fleets . He pitied their want of Experience in Sea Affairs , and out of Compassion and Brotherly Love , lead their rare Sea-men by the Hand , train'd them up in his Fleets , and among the best of his Sea-men , taught them the Skill which they had been forcod to toyl for by the Experience of many Ages ; and to crown all , even to fight for them , and to interpose between them and Danger , with so good Success , that the French Squadron , as if the Engagement had been only designed for a Diversion and Entertainment to them , came off as fresh and as whole , as when they first sailed out of their own Ports , was such an unparallell'd Kindness , that nothing but the extraordinary hopes the King had placed in him , of being his great Assistant for the compassing of his pernicious designs upon his own Subjects , could have made him condescend to . But to come to Particulars , It was a strange Demonstration of the King of England's kindness to the French Interest , though to the unspeakable Detriment of his own People , that after all those Expressions in the Lord Keeper Bridgman's Speech , of the Treaty between France and the King of England , concerning Commerce , wherein the King would have , as he said , such a singular regard to the Honour and Trade of this Nation , notwithstanding the intolerable Oppression upon the English Traffick in France , ever since the King's Restoration , he had not in all that time made one step toward a Treaty of Commerce or Navigation with him ; no not even at that time , when the English were so necessary to him , that he could not have begun the War without them , and therefore at such a Conjuncture might probably have condescended to some Equality of Terms . But the King of England well understood how careful the French King was to preserve and increase the Trade of his Subjects , and that it was by the diminution of that Beam of his Glory , that the Hollanders had raised his Indignation . The King therefore , the more to gratifie him , made it his constant Maxim , to burthen his English Merchants here with one Hand , while the French in his own Territories loaded them no less with the other . So that when the English Merchants in London had prepared a Petition to the King and Council , to complain of the Oppression which their Factors and Agents lay under in France , with a true State of their Case , and a short account of their Grievances , information thereof was given to the Court , by which means the Perusal of the Papers being transmitted by the King ●o his Instruments , all further Prosecution of the matter was stopp'd by his Conni●ance and Authority , and the Merchants were put off with a Promise , that the French Embassador should be acquainted with their Complaints , and that they should be redress'd through his means . Which proving ineffectual , upon their farther Applications for redress , they were Hector'd , Brow-beaten , Ridicul'd , and might have met with fairer Audience from Monsieur Colbert . Nor was it only in the matter of Commerce , that the King of England had obliged the French Tyrant , but even in the War it self . For that except the irresistible Bounties o● so great a Prince , to some particular English Instruments , and a little Subsistance Money for the Fleet , frugally parted with , the King of England had put him to no Charges , but the English Navy Royal had served him all along , No Purchase , No Pay. He had ty'd the French King to no Terms , had demanded no Partisson of Conquests , had made no humane Condition , but had sold him all for those two Pearls of high Value , the True Roman Catholick Worship , and the true French Government . So soon as the Peace was concluded betwixt England and Holland , by the Awe of the Parliament , the French King , as a mark of his Displeasure , and to humble the English Nation , let loose his Privateers among the English Merchants ; insomuch that there was no security of Commerce or Navigation , notwithstanding the Publick Amity betwixt the two Crowns , but at Sea they Murther'd , Plunder'd , made Prize , and Confiscated all they met with : Their Piccaroons lay before the Mouths of our Rivers ; hover'd all along the Coast ; took our Ships in the very Ports , so that we were in a manner block'd up by Water ; and in this manner it continued from 1674. till the latter end of 1676. without Remedy . And yet all this while that the French made these intolerable Depredations , and Piracies upon the Kings Subjects , they were more diligently than ever supply'd from England with Recruits , and those that would go voluntarily into the French Service were encouraged , others that would not press'd , imprison'd , and carried over by main force and constraint : And by the King's connivance , his own Magazines were daily emptied , to furnish the French with all sorts of Ammunition , of which the following Accompt affords but a small Parcel , in comparison of what was daily conveyed away , under colour of Cockets for Iersey . Granado's without number , shipped off under the pretence of unwrought Iron . Lead Shot One and twenty Tuns . Gunpouder Seven thousand one hundred thirty four Barrels . Iron Shot Eighteen Tun Six hundred Weight . Match , Eighty eight Tun , nineteen hundred Weight . Iron Ordinance , Four hundred forty one ; Quantity , Two hundred ninety two Tuns , nine hundred Weight : Carriages , Bandaliers , Pikes ▪ &c. the quantity uncertain . All this , and what more beside , not then discovered , was exported from London to France , from Iune 1675. to Iune 1677. And thus was the French King gratified for undoing us by Sea ; by Contributing all the King could rap and rend , of Men and Ammunition , to make him more Potent and Formidable to us by Land. Another great Instance of the King of England's extraordinary Kindness to the French King was this , that while he storm'd at the Dutch for not promoting as he pretended , the coming away of some Families that were unwilling to leave Surinam ; he found no fault with the French for keeping him above four years out of St. Christophers ; nor for destroying in the mean while that part of the Island which belonged to his own Subjects . So great a piece of rudeness it was thought , to press too hard upon the French King for performance of Articles on his side . Nay , the French Commanders in those Parts , did not scruple to assert , that there was a very good understanding , in relalation to that Island , between the English and French Court ; so great a kindness the King had for the French , so little for his own Subjects . Nor must we omit , that when the Orders of the French Privy Council , Commanding all their Sea Officers and Commanders in the Islands of America , to secure to their Master the Soveraignity of those Seas , were brought by a Person of Quality into the Cabinet Council at Whitehall , they were at first declaimed against , but soon buried in oblivion , and put up amongst the useless Papers , though the French , in pursuance of those Commands proved afterwards so vexatious to the English , that thethen Governor of Iamaica sent word , that notwithstanding their old Quarrel with the Spaniards , it was much easier to keep a good Correspondence with them , than with our dear Allies the French. Nor must it be forgot , as an Eminent Mark of our Sovereign's Deference to the French Interest and manner of Government , that in the year 1677 , upon notice that a Great French Embassador was coming over into England , he Adjourn'd his English Parliament , that he might have the more Elbow room to entertain his better beloved Friends . For all things at that time moved between France and England , with that punctual Regularity , that it was like the Harmony of the Sphears , so that immediately after the Recess of the English Parliament , over came the D. of Crequi , the Archbishop of Rheimes , M. Barillon , with a Train of three or four hundred Persons of all Qualities , ( you would have sworn they had been the Lords Spiritual and Temporal of France , with a proportionable number of their Commons ) met the King at New-Market , so that it look'd like another Parliament ; and that the English had been Adjourn'd for their better Reception . Much of their business no doubt was conceal'd , but so much came to light , that they prest the King to continue his Subjects in the Service of France ; because the Parliament at that time most earnestly prest , and was preparing a Bill for their being call'd home . They also demanded an Abolition of all Claims and Demands from the Subjects of France , upon account of all Prizes made of the English since the year 1674 , till that day and for the future . And the King on the other side required a further supply of French Money . And certain it is , that though the English Parliament was kept a loof from the Business of War , Peace and Alliance , as improper for their meddling withal ; yet with those three Estates of , France all things were negotiated and transacted with the greatest confidence imaginable . To which purpose they were Adjourn'd from New-Market to London , and there continued till the return of the English Parliament , but then dismissd home , though with all the Signs and Demonstrations of mutual Affection imaginable . And indeed the effect of their Negotiation soon after appeared ; for the Parliament still insisting , that the King's Subjects might be recalled out of the French King's Service ; pressing the King to enter into a League Offensive and Defensive , with the States-General , and taking up a Resolution , that they would proceed upon nothing , till satisfied in the Business of the French Affairs and Popery ; they were put off by Adjournments from time to time , or as it may be more truly said , kick'd from Adjournment to Adjournment , as from one Stair down to another , to the end the French King might have the more leisure to compleat his Conquests in Flanders . And from this last usage of his Parliament , we may justly take occasion to recollect his Behaviour all along to the Grand Council of the Nation , of which in his glavering Letters before his Restoration , he had so high an Esteem , and thought them so necessary for the Government of the Kingdom , that neither Prince nor People could be in any tolerable degree happy without them ; yet to which his Malice was so inveterate , after once he came to be safe in his Throne , that no Man could use them with more Scorn and Contempt . His first Parliament began at Westminster the Eighth of May 1667. a Parliament so kind to him , and so confident of the Sincerity and Integrity of his Words , that they gave him back the Triennial Bill , and laid themselves at his Mercy , to do with them what he pleased ; whereas before they had power to Assemble every three years by an Enacted Law. And no less frankly they surrender'd the power of the Militia into his Hands ; of both which Acts , being done in haste , they had leisure enough afterwards to repent . But notwithstanding all the great Kindness of this Parliament , and their more than extraordinary Liberality to the King , of several Millions of the Peoples Money , which was with the same profusion wasted upon his Pleasures , and the carrying on his Designs for the Introducing of Popery and French Government , not a Penny hardly for the good of the Nation , while the Seamen were fed with a Bit and a Knock , and the Merchants that supplied the Stores of the Nay were cheated of their Money , and never paid to this day ; with what Scorn and Contempt he used them , and how far from that Esteem and Veneration he professed to have for them , while he was wheedling for his Restoration , is apparent to all the Kingdom . 'T is true , the King continued them till all men of Impartial Knowledge and Judgment thought them Dissolved by Law ; and till at length they were Dissolved by himself the Twenty fifth of Ianuary 1678. Not that they Sate so long ; but were discontinued and contemptuously spurn'd from Meeting to Meeting , many times by the intimated Orders , and to promote the Designs of the French King , and never suffered to Sit , but when the King was in extream necessity of Money . Among the rest of these Prologations , there was one at a time when the greatest urgency of Affairs , the greatest danger that ever threatned the Welfare of this Nation , required their Sitting , when they were diving into the bottom of the Popish Plot , and endeavouring to bring to condign Punishment the chief Instruments which the King had made use of to compass his Arbitrary and Popish Design . But then it was that the King to screen his wicked Ministers from Publick Justice , preferr'd the Caresses of the expanded nakedness of a French Harlot , before the preservation of three Nations . For then it was , as Mr. Andrew Marvel , with a Satyrical Indignation expresses it . That Carwel , that Incestuous Punk , Made our most Sacred Sovereign drunk ; And drunk she let him give the Buss , Which still the Kingdom 's bound to Curse . This was the Effect of that nights bloudy debauch , which continued till the morning , and all the morning till the Parliament was Dissolv'd , or Orders at least given for the doing it . For the Duke of York , and the rest of the Conspirators , being very uneasie under the terrible Inspections which the two Houses made into the Secrets of this Popish Plot , but lately discover'd , would not endure their Sitting any longer . On the other side , the King , being alarm'd by the detection of so many design'd Contrivances against his Person , to remove him out of the World , for which the Papists had so little reason , unless it were to make him more hasty than stood with the Rules and Methods of his Politicks , was the more willing to let the Parliament sit , for fear of exasperating the Nation at such a ticklish Conjuncture of Affairs as at that time , when all the Protestants of the Kingdom were awakened by such dreadful Consternations and Jealousies . What therefore could not be obtained by open Perswasion when His Majesty was sober and sensible , must be wrested form him when he was intoxicated . To this purpose Portsmouth was fully instructed what to do , and as being privy to the whole Conspiracy against the Kingdom , was entrusted to manage the Business . The Night was spent in Carousing and Buffooning , so that His Majesty by Morning was far from that Condition in which he used to appear at Chappel . In the Morning Portsmouth retir'd with the King and two Great Ladies more , into a more Private Room , where to bind him the faster in her Charms , and that he might have no time for second Thought , the three Ladies placed themselves before his Eyes in the posture of the three Naked Goddesses , in expectation of their Sentences from the Trojan Sheepherd ; and in that Posture going to the Sport of Questions and Commands , when it came to Portsmouth's turn to Rule , she asked her Monarchical Subject , whether he would have Two Commands and One Question , or Two Questions and One Command : To which when the King replied , One Command and Two Questions : The Strumpet presently cried our , Then I command ye to Dissolve the Parliament . Ahassuerus could have said no more , nor have been more absolutely obey'd ; for that very Morning the Parliament was Prorogu'd accordingly ; notwithstanding all that P. Rupert , when he heard the Resolution was taken , could urge with all the vehemency imaginable against it ; while the D. of York stuck close to his Brother , and told him his Cousin rav'd . So that the Duke , that advised for the Ruine of the Nation , was believed ; but the Prince , who spoke his mind freely for the good of the Kingdom , was dismissed for a Mad-man . So well did the King act his part , that when his well-meaning Counsellors lent their assisting hands to prevent the Consequences of French and Popish Dictates , they were mistaken in the Man , and gave their wholsom Advice to him that was bound not to take it , and was himself the Primum Mobile of all the Disorders which they besought of him to remedy . During this Sessions of Parliament , many foul things came to light : For while the King had raised an Army , and pressed the Parliament for Money to maintain them , under pretence of making a War with France , which was the earnest desire of all the Protestant part of the Kingdom , the Parliament were fully informed , that while the King boasted of the Alliances which he had made for the preservation of Flanders and the Protestant Religion both at home and abroad , he was secretly entred into Treaties and Alliances at the same time with the French King ; and Mr. Garraway of the House of Commons had gotten a Copy of the Private Treaty between the King of England and the French King , at the same instant , that the Secretary and all the Court Pentioners cried out a War ; insomuch that such of the Conspirators as were in the House began to blush when they saw the Cheat so palpably discerned . It was farther discovered , that a great Favourite of the Duke 's had been sent over into France , under a pretence of Expostulating , and requiring satisfaction for the Injuries which the English had received from the French : but in reality , to carry the Project of Articles for the Peace , and to settle and confirm all things fast about the Money that was to come from France , and to agree the Methods for shamming the Confederates about their Expected Alliances . They found themselves cheated of all the Pole Bill Money , which they had given so little a while before , upon the assurance of a War intended against France ; the greatest part of which they perceived was imediately , though appropriated to the French Wur only , converted to other uses , as the paying of old Debts , so that very little was left to pay for any Necessaries bought , or to be bought , toward the pretended War with France . Nor were they ignorant of the real Design , for which the King had raised his Army , and what care the King and his Brother took , that there should be no other Officers in that Army , than what were fit for the Work in hand , which was to introduce Popery and French Government by main force ; Four parts of Five being downright Papists , or else such as resolved so to be upon the least intimation . The Duke recommending all such as he knew fit for the Turn , and no less than a Hundred Commissions being sign'd by Secretary W. to ●ish Papists , to raise Forces , notwithstanding the late Act ; by which means both the Land and Naval Forces were in safe hands : And to compleat the Work , hardly a Judge , Justice of the Peace , or any Officer in England , but what was of the Duke's Promotion . Nor were they ignorant of the private Negotiations carried on by the Duke , with the Kings Connivance , with the Pope and Cardinal Norfolk , who had undertaken to raise Money from the Church , sufficient to supply the King's Wants , till the Work were done , in case the Parliament should smoak their Design , and refuse to give any more . Nor was the Parliament ignorant what great Rejoycing there was in Rome it self , to hear in what a posture his Majesty was , and how well provided of an Army and Money to begin the Business . The Parliament also understood , while they were labouring the War with France , and to resist the growth of Popery and Arbitrary Power , that the King underhand assisted the French with Men and Ammunition of all sorts ; and soon after that a Cessation was concluded both at Nimeghen and Paris ; and that the King had got some money from France for that Jobb ; by which means the French King was now sure to hold all his Conquests abroad , which , had England been real to the Confederates , might have been easily wrested again out of his Hands . But it seems it was not so much Money as the King expected , which made him angry , so that he began to threaten , that if the French King did not perform his Promise of 300000 l. Annuity for three Years , he would undo all he had done against the next Parliament . But the French King derided those vain Threats , menacing in his turn , that if the King of England would not be content with his Terms , and do and say to the Parliament , according to his directions , he would discover both him and his Correspondents , in betraying the Nation , and discover all his secret Contrivances against the Kingdom , as afterwards he Published the Dover Treaty at Paris ; which was the reason , that after that , His Majesty of England never durst disoblige the French Monsieur , but became a perfect Slave to his Interest : a Bondage he never needed to have undergone , had he been but half as sincere to his English Parliament . But to them he was never true , with them he always broke his Faith and Royal Word ; insomuch , that after they had given him Money to Disband his Army , he employed the Money to another use , and kept up his standing Forces , to the great Terror of the People in all parts of the Kingdom . So that now all things running on the Papistical side to their Hearts desire , what with Popish Souldiers , Popish Officers , Popish Counsels , Popish Priests and Jesuits swarming about the Town and Country , and France at leisure to help them who had help'd him to be more a Conqueror by the Peace , than he could have expected by a War ; the Duke of York was for the Kings pulling off his Vizard , and for setting up Alamode of France , according to what had been so often debated at White hall and St. Iames's . But while the King and his Brother were thus riding Post to ruin the Laws and Religion of the Kingdom , the Discovery of the Popish Plot by Dr. Oats , broke all their Measures for a time , by laying open the Secret Contrivances of our English Castor and Pollux for the introducing of Popery and Arbitrary Government . This Plot was no sooner made known to the King , but he imparts it to the Duke , not the knowledge of the Plot , for that they both knew before , but the News of the Plots being discovered . Upon which they set themselves , with all the care they could , to stop the farther Progress of the Discovery . To which purpose the Duke gives notice of it to his Man Coleman , and the Priests and Jesuits in the Savoy ; by which means , what Papers and Persons were to be conceal'd , and conveyed away , was carefully looked after . All this while by this ●easonable detection of the King and his Brother to the Priests Jesuits , Oats himself narrowly escaped Massacred . Oats finding himself thus betray'd and abandoned by the King , applies himself to Sir Edmund Bury Godfry , with a Scheme of the Plot fairly drawn up , by that means to be introduced before the Council , to have the Business there unfolded ; which with much ado was done ; and Oats sent for to be Examined at Whitehall ; where he managed himself with that Courage , that though he were Brow-beaten and opposed most strenuously , though there were many that studied by all the ways imaginable to dash and confound him , yet it was impossible ; he stood as firm as a Rock , and gave such pregnant Reasons for what he said , that the Council , how unwilling soever to meddle , or stir in his behalf , yet at last were constrained , by the clearness of his Evidence , to grant Warrants for the seizure of several Priests that Night , who were taken and sent to Prison . Upon this followed the Assassination and Murder of Sir Edmundbury Godfry , perpetrated by the Countenance and Connivance of the King , as well a , by the Contrivances and express Command of the Duke . For proof of which , a little opening of the Cause and Occasion , and a short relation of the Effects , Consequences and Events which enstied upon it , will both enlighten us to the truth of the Matter , and confirm our Belief , who were the Authors of and Accessors to it ▪ For , as has been already said , that Gentleman had received an Information upon Oath from Dr. Oats , about a Plot against our Laws , Lives and Religion . But finding somthing in the Deposition that reflected upon Mr. Coleman , with whom he had an intimate Acquaintance , he thereupon took an opportunity to let him understand what Information he had receeived , and to tell him , that the only way to justifie his own Innocency , was to contribute all his Endeavours and Assistance to prevent so Bloody 〈◊〉 Design . But Coleman , instead of denying ●he Truth of those things which Sir Edmund related , or offering his Endeavours ●o obstruct the Progress of it , or to de●eat the Success of the Plot , not only ac●nowledged that there was a Conspiracy ●gainst our Laws , Liberties and Religion , but that it was advanced so far , and seconded by Persons of that Quality in the Nation , and Figure in the Government , there was no possibility to give a Lett or Disappointment to it . And more particularly he told him , that the King was the Principal Author and Chief Promoter of the whole Design of overthrowing the Protestant Religion , and altering the Government : which Coleman calling to mind after his being committed to Newgate , and considering that by that means Sir Edmond was enabled to come in a second Witness against him : he therefore order'd it so ; as not only to get the Duke acquainted with his own danger , but that His Highness and others , whom he had mentioned in conversation with Sir Edmund , were in the seme Predicament , and would certainly be brought upon the Stage . To which he received this Answer from the Duke , That he should not be apprehensive of any danger from Sir Edmund , in regard there would be a way found to prevent his hurting Coleman , or any body else . Now that he was thereupon most barbarously Murdered , is a thing too well known : and then by whose Authority it was done , the Circumstances make it plain . First , the Circumstance of the Place , as being committed in one of the Courts of the King's Palace , in some of the Apartments of which the Murther'd Body was also concealed for several days . The next circumstan●e was , the guarding of the Gate and Avenues of the Palace so strictly all the time , and denying the People their wonted Liberty of access to the House , and passage through , which could not have been done , but by the King's Authority . Nor would the Dutchess of Portsmouth , and somebody of the same Sex , greater than She , have adventured to have gone and viewed the Body , while it lay there concealed , by which they involved themselves in the Guilt of the Crime , but that they knew they could not be called to an Account for it , considering by whose Connivance and Command the Fact was committed . Nor was it a less Argument that the King was privy to the Fact ; That he protected from Justice both the Duke and others which were charged with that Murther : Than which nothing more than the doing of it with his own hands , could lay him under the Reproach and In●amy of it before Men , and under the dreadful Guilt of it before God. Add to this , That when we consider the Motives that urged the necessity of this Murther , which was Coleman's having acknowledg'd to Sir Edmund , that the King as well as the Duke was in the Conspiracy to alter the Government , and overturn our Religion , it would be nonsense to believe the King less willing to have him destroy'd than his Brother : Since no Body at that time was so sorry for the detection of that part of the Plot as the King ; neither did any body labour afterwards to baffle the belief of it , as he did . Nor had he any thing in the World to excuse himself for so doing ; but that he was the principal Author of all that part of the Popish Plot , which related to the overthrow of the Laws and Religion of the Nation , and the destruction of the chief and most zealous Protestants in the Kingdom , as was sufficiently acknowledged by Coleman , not only to Sir Edm. Godfrey , but to the Committee of Parliament that examined him in Newgate . Which was so plain , that nothing influenced those Gentlemen to conceal that part of his Confession in their Report to the House , but their pity and compassion to the King , which would not permit them to expose him so black , as in truth he was to the Nation ; though it was as certain , that they frequently imparted their Knowledge to their Frinds . Nor did it a little add to confirm the Truth of what is here related , That Emissaries should be sent from the Court to deal under-hand with the Coroner , and the Jury , to have gotten a Verdict of Felo de se. But the proofs of his being murther'd were so apparent ; such as his Neck being broke , and the cleanness of his Shoes , that nothing could corrupt the Jury from bringing it in otherwise than it was . Under these Distresses did the King and the Duke labour : Terribly afraid of the approaching Parliament , for the sake of their Popish Minions and Instruments , whose utmost care and industry could not prevent it , but that several of Coleman's Letters and other Papers were found , which detected the Negotiations of the King and Duke ( for all the World can never separate them by maintaining that the Duke durst ever have transacted such Treasons abroad , being then no more than another Subject , without his Brother's Consent ) so that they were in an extraordinary quandary , whether the Parliament should Sit or no. But the King 's extreme necessity for Money , prevail'd upon him to let them Sit : Besides that , the King , who all along acted under his Protestant Mask , was sensible that the Kingdom would have cry'd out shame , had he put off the Parliament of such a Conjuncture of Combustion and Distraction as that was . 〈…〉 spent the Money upon his other Occasions ▪ and kept up the Army 〈◊〉 . Nevertheless , to excute the Fraud and Ch●at which he had put upon the disgu●●ed Nation , he tells the Parliament , That he had been obliged to k●ep up his Troops , to keep his Neighb●urs from absolute Despair ; and that he had been solicited from abroad not to disband them . Now , was ever such a Story told by a Prince , and vouched in the face of the Nation by a Bred Lawyer , viz. his Chancellor , to justifie the Breach of a Law of the Three Estates of the Kingdom as soon as made , and then to fl●m the Parliament off , with Christendom and the Worlds commending us for breaking our own Laws , to patch up a Peace , which tended to nothing but the Ruine of those for whom it was made ? The sum of which was , in short , That the King , to serve his own Arbitrary Ends , had run h●mself 〈…〉 〈…〉 that many Papers of great Importance had with a more than ordinary Industry been convey'd away ; yet by those that were found , so much appeared , that the House Voted it to be a damable Plot , to root up and destroy the Religion and Government of the Kingdom ; and privately got the Lord Chief-Justice S●broggs to sign Warrants for the Apprehending the Popish Lords ; which was done accordingly : And , for their further Security , they prepared a Bill for putting the Nation into a posture of Defence , and for raising the Militia throughout the Kingdom to be in Arms for so many days . Which passed Both Houses without any difficulty ; but the King , out of his Zeal to the Protestant Religion , refused to pass it . And then it was , that the Parliament found too late the Compliment which they had pass'd upon him in returning him the Power of the Militia , which he made use of to keep up Standing Armies for their Destruction , but refused for the Security of the Nation . This therefore not prevailing , they began to provide against Papists sitting in either House ; and fram'd a Bill with a Test to be taken by every Member of both Houses , or else to lose their Seats . This , though his Protestant Majesty durst not openly oppose himself , yet after a close Consultation held at St. Iames's ▪ he ordered all his Instruments in the Lords House to withstand the passing of it there ; which though they could not effect , yet they prevail'd so far , that they got a Proviso in it for the D. of York whereby they did him the kindness as to declare him a Papist to all the World. After this , the Parliament proceeded to the impeaching of such Persons as they had found to be deepest in the Contrivance of all our Mischiefs ; but That His Majesty lookt upon as a Business that so nearly concerned his own Honour , that like his Father , when the D. of Buckingham was accus'd of poysoning his Father , he would not endure the Parliament in such a Iehu-like Chace after the Popish Conspirators , but foot-ball'd them again with a Prorogation for several Months . So careful was his Protestant Majesty to stifle as much as in him lay , and to prevent the Prosecution of an Infernal Plot , which he knew was so deeply laid , like the Axe of Popery , to the root of all his Protestant Dominions . Nor was this all ; for so soon as he had dismiss'd the Parliament , and had secur'd his Accomplices , he took all the care imaginable to discredit Oates and Bedlow's Evidence ; Forty One was again inculcated into all the Ignorant Pates about the Town , and Merry-Andrew Roger had his Pension out of the Gazetts continued to ridicule the Plot , which he did in a most leud and shameless manner ; and Money given to set up a new Divinity Academy in a Publick Coffee House , to act the Protestant Whore of Babylon , and give about his Revelation-Cup to the Raw Inferior Clergy , and instruct them in better Doctrine than ever they learnt in the University . Nor did he stop at the endeavouring to discredit the Testimonies of those Witnesses , but sent his Head-Emissaries to corrupt them to a denial , and retracting what they had discovered ; and when that would not do , Knox and Lane were suborn'd to accused Otes of Buggery , thereby to bave taken him . Acts of the foulest ignominy , which whether a Protestant King would have encouraged , to the ruine of the Religion which he professed , in partial postcrity will determine with a clearer and more unclouded sight : For we , God knows , are so dazled with those Illustrious Beams of feigned Protestant Majesty , that we are not able to stare upon those Rays without blinding our Eyes , out of a false Devotion to the Sun of our vain Imagination . Add to this , his endeavouring to corrupt the yet untainted Members of the House , and buy their Votes , to the utter exhausting of his Treasure , for that which was then call'd Secret Service . And which was more than all the rest , his Dissolution of this Enquiring Parliament , at the Sollicitation of the Duke , and the rest of his guilty Minions , by the Advice of a certain Lady , who to save her Husband from the Impeachment he lay under , persuaded them to get the King totally to Dissolve the Parliament ; using this Argument , That in regard the Nation were so dissatisfied in this , it would be a means to gain him the favour of the people , and baffle the Impeachment , by getting it Dissolv'd ; especially when it should be known , that it was done by his procurement : So that the Lady's Advice being followed , the Parliament was as easily Dissolv'd , as it had been a little before lasciviously Prorogued , after a continuance of Seventeen Years , to the great Admiration of all men ; tho indeed it proved in some measure a happy day for England ▪ For the Dissolution so enraged the Band of Pensioners , finding their Service so slighted , and their livelihood lost , that they began to talk loud , and discovered those things which were no way for the disadvantage of the Nation . But here we are t observe the extraordinary Diligence of his Protestant Majesty , to get the next Parliament fit for his Turn , which was suddenly to be called , to stop the mouths of the People . To which purpose all the Money that could possibly be spared out of the Chequer , was issued out to C. B. to manage the Elections all over the Kingdom , under the old Notion of secret Service , in one Article 1500 l. in another 2000. and the Guinea's stew about the Countrey far and near to the Corporations , to hire places , and get fit men , the Heads of the Counties and Corporations were sent for , and told what men would be serviceable and acceptable to the King ; and particularly the Gentlemen of Essex were sent to , by the Ch. Just. Schroggs , and cautiones that they should not chuse Mildmay , whatever they did . And new Charters were obtained fo● some Corporations , with new Privileges , and 〈◊〉 them down to be hung out at the Windows , to animate the People to chuse such men as they were directed . What could more have been done by a Protestant Prince , to destroy his Protestant Subjects , and advance the Roman-Catholick Cause ? But when the Conspiraters saw that nothing would , but that they perceived that they were deceived in their Expectations by the unanimous choice of the People , then all ways were studied to put them upon Rocks , and to set them together by the Ears , and throwing in Bones among them , and by working them to fly upon the Ministers of State , as the only infallible means to blow them up ; as being sure of the King's Resolutions to interpose between them and danger , whatever became of the Parliament and Kingdom . If this fail'd , the King was furnish'd with another contrivance , which was so cajole and delude them , by pretending all the Sincerity and Reality in the World , when he meant quite the contrary ; and rather than miss of his Designs , to publish himself to Posterity , the greatest Knave in nature ; and to let the world know how much he could out-do Tiberius in dissimulation . To this purpose , when the Project of the King 's rejecting the Commons Choice of their Speaker , fail'd , tho it were done on purpose by the King to pick a quarrel with the House as soon as they sate ; the King pursuing his old methods of speaking with his Lips , what was farthest from his heart , went to the House of Lords , and there tells the Parliament a plausible Story , how he had consented to the Exclusion of the Popish Lords from their Seats in Parliament ; to the Execution of several Criminals , both upon the score of the Plot , and the Murder of Sir Ed. B. Godfrey ; but above all , how he had commanded his Brother to absent himself from him , because he would not leave the most malicious men room to say he had not removed all Causes which could be pretended to influence him towards Popish Counsels . In all which there was not one word of Thruth , as to the Motives that engaged him to do what he did . For as to the Exclusion of the Popish Lords , he knew it was what he could not avoid , unless he would have absolutely thrown off his Protestant Mask , which he was sensible it was not seasonable for him then to do . As for the Jesuits that were hang'd for the Plot , he pleas'd himself as well as the people , by sacrificing a few inconsiderable Miscreants to his own Revenge , for ingratefully plotting against his Life , who had all along been so faith●ul to their Cause ; and indeed it was but just they should dye like Knaves and Traytors , who had been such fools to mistrust so true a Protestant Prince . As to the Murtherers of Sir E. B. G. what could he have done less , except he would have exposed himself to the Clamour of the whole Nation ? That would have been the greatest folly in the world , for a Man that loved to sleep in a whole skin , as he did , for the preservation of three or four Rascals convicted of a bloody Murder , to have sacrificed his Honour and his Safety to publick Scandal and Resentment . And then as for the Removal of his Dear Brother , it was done after a long and deep Consultation upon these Considerations : First , That the Duke's being out of the way , might stop the farther Examination of the Plot in relation to himself , and thereby one of the Chief Conspirators be preserved safe : And secondly , For a shew that the King was such an Enemy to Popery and Popish Councels , that he would not suffer so much as the Breath of a Brother near him , for fear of infection . For in these Gracious Protestant Acts , lay all his hopes of making the Parliament give Credit to his Words , and getting Money from them , at a time when the French King most treacherously failed him Tho while the King was thus endeavouring to cast a Mist before the Parliament's Eyes , it was most certain , that before the Duke went , the King had promised him , That nothing should be acted or done , without being first imparted to him ; insomuch , that the Speech which was to be made to the Parliament , was concluded on before he went ; and tho he were absent in Flanders , where Expresses reached him almost every hour , yet the Grand Politicians of the Conspiracy staid behind , and watched his Affairs at home , as diligently as if he had been here in person . Nevertheless the Parliament , not being to be deluded by all those seeming Acts of Protestant Grace , took little notice of those gaudy Trappings of the King's Discourse , but fell briskly to work upon the Plot , and the Murther of Sir E. B. G. to which purpose they made choice of a Secret Committee to pursue that Business , by whose means great things were discovered ; insomuch , That there were very few of the chiefest of those who were nearest about the King , and most effectually possessed His Ear , but were found to have some hand or finger in the Grand Conspiracy . According to the Proverb , Shew me the Company , and I 'll tell thee the Man ; which put the Parliament to lay all other Considerations aside , but those of securing the Nation against Popery and Arbitrary Government ; in order whereunto , they began to think of bringing the Lords and others in the Tower to their Tryals : And upon a report of their Committee , of the D. of York's Letters , wherein it appear'd what great joy had been conceived at Rome for the Duke's Conversion , even to draw Tears from his Holiness's Eyes , with several other Papers , discovering much of the Court-Intreagues with Rome and the Fathers ; they Voted the hopes of his coming to the Crown , to be one of the chief Causes of the Popish-Plot ; and ordered a Bill to disinable him to inherit the Imperial Crown of the Realm . These Proceedings were of so high a Nature , and so directly tending to the overthrow of that structure , which the King and the Duke , with the assistance of their Popish Counsels had been so long and so assiduously erecting , that it was thought requisite to treat them with all the Art and Subtilty imaginable ; which produced two of the greatest Master-pieces that ever were acted by the Conspirators ever since their first designing Popery and French Tyranny . The first was to blind and cozen the House of Commons , by seeming to shew an utter dislike of all former Councils that had brought the Nation to the condition it was in . In pursuance of which , the old Council was dissolved , and the greatest Sticklers against the Plot , and for the Protestant Religion , chosen into their room , to the end the King might not be thought to be any longer influenced by Popish Advice ; and that if any miscarriages happen'd , they might be all laid to their charge ; or that miscarriages might receive a more candid interpretation , as being done by such good men , against whose fidelity the Nation had no exception . And thus were those Gentlemen gull'd in , under pretence of the King 's more particular trust and favour , to countenance many illegal contrivances , to retrieve the bad condition of the Papists , under the notion of their Approbation : So that if Dissimulare be Regnare , never had any Monarch more of Kingcraft in him than ours had , to the destruction of his own Subjects . The next Device was to turn the whole Plot , and the Odium of it , upon the Protestants , under the notion of Presbyterians and Fanaticks : Which how well it pleased the King , will afterwards appear . The first Project had this effect , That many of the Leading Men for the Country , of both Houses ( for the same alterations were made among the Commissioners of the Treasury , and Lords of the Admiralty ) being inveagled and drawn aside by the Temptations of Places both of Profit and Honour , their vigour began to cool , and the unbiassed Party in both Houses were left to stand by themselves . Four or five of the most Popular in the Council were wrought off ; and whatever Matters were of importance for carrying on the Popish Cause , were first agreed on in the Private Cabal , and then brought into the Council ; where if such Matters met with strong opposition , the King's Pleasure that it should be so , over-rul'd the Debates , and all things pass'd as ordered by the King in Council , not with the Advice of his Council . And then such as did not heartily join , had good words given them , and were told that all was meant well ; which made several give credit , and believe the rest were real . By which means , all that was done by the King and His Coadjutors , was acted behind the Curtain , and the Popular Gentlemen were only made use of as Vmbrello's to shade the Conspirators from the scorching Heat of the Peoples Discontent : So fine and subtil were the Wiles of Popery , above the reach of plain and downright Protestant Politicks . But in the midst of these Court-Intriegues to run down the Plot , the House of Commons went on vigorously both against the Plot , and the Pop●sh Delinquents ; which grated so hard upon the Popish Party , and was such an obstruction to their Designs , That the King compassionating their Grievances , more than those of his Protestant Subjects , gave way to the Dissolution of the Parliament ; yet with promise of another to meet toward the latter end of the year , under pretence of frequent Parliaments ; but , in reality , to try if He could get another fitter for his turn . And now the King having laid aside the Parliament , and freed his Instruments from the Terrour of it , was so far from not permitting himself to be influenced by Popish-Councellors , that he began to play his old pranks ; and first of all the popular Protestant Lords of the Council were by degrees decently laid aside , and the Duke was sent for home ; the Lord Shaftsbury for opposing it , being severely reprimanded in Council , with a wonder how any person that sate at that Board , durst so boldly affront his Royal Highness ? For the Face of Affairs was changed , and the King was now swimming in his own Element again . Only it was strange that he was no more concerned to see the strain of the whole Kingdom run against him : For notwithstanding all his industry to have brought in his Band of Pensioners again , it was found , the new-chosen Parliament , which was by this time ready to sit , was likely to prove worse for his turn than any of the former : Which made him have recourse to his old shift of Prorogueing , which was done by Proclamation , to gain a little time for the acquitting of Sir G. Wakeman , which the C. J. Scroggs had engaged to his Prince for a Gracious Smile , and to the Portugal Ambassador for a round sum of Guinea's to help him out with his purchase in Essex . To which purpose , how he acted his part , is so well known , that I need not here repeat it : only thus much , That as it redounded very much to the Butcherly Indigent Chief Justice , and together with many other good Offices , continued him for a while in his Place ; so it was no less for the advantage of the Papists , who from thence took the boldness to affirm there was no Popish Plot. So kind was His Protestant Majesty to help out his desponding Friends at a dead lift , in order to the Sham-plot , which he was afterwards designing . For now the Parliament being put off , was at leisure to advise with his Popish Instruments , who were no less sedulous to give their advice to the utmost that their active Brains could reach . By this sedulity it was , that the Meal-Tub Anti-Plot was contrived , and hatch'd : Only Tools were wanting to manage , and carry on the Treacherous Design . Therefore not knowing where else to find Miscreants fit for such Diabolical Enterprises , all the Goals about the Town were raked for needy Profligates . It will be needless to give a particular History of that which has been so sufficiently discover'd for an abominable Imposture : It shall only therefore suffice to give the World an account , when the King and his Accomplices had laid the Contrivance to trepan the chiefest part of the Nobility and Gentry of the Nation , that would not comply with his Popish and Tyrannical Designs , what Favourites those Rakehells were to His Sacred Majesty , upon the account of the Villany which they had undertaken to go through with . For it is well known , that when Dangerfield was fetch'd out of Newgate , and presented to Old Rowley at White-hall , as a fit Instrument for the Devillish work of the Meal-tub-Plot , then resolv'd upon , the King was so overjoy'd he had found such a Rascal for his turn , That he set him down on a Couch , kiss'd him , hugg'd him , and embrac'd him with all the caresses of Love imaginable , insomuch that the Newgate-Bird himself could not chuse but be surprized at his Soveraigns kindness . His entertaining afterward the same unpardon'd Coyner , and common Cheat , privately in his Closet for an hour together at a time ; and ever and anon giving him his hand to kiss , was no less an argument of his pious Indulgency to premeditated Villany ; while his Princely Favours and Familiarity were only reserv'd to encourage audacious Treachery ; and his Frowns only bestowed upon the Detectors of the publick Enemies to God and his Kingdom . To which , we may add the severity us'd in checking the Lord Mayor , for taking Dangerfield's Discovery after he was committed to Newgate , for medling , as it was term'd , with that which nothing concern'd him . And indeed , it may be said of the Meal-Tub-Plot , That it was a piece of Treachery so foul and ignominious , that it would have hardly passed for curr●nt in open War against a publick Enemy ; and which aggravates the Crime yet more , was His Majesty's Liberality of several times to Dangerfield , besides his allowance of Twelve pound a week out of the Privy-purse . The miscarriage of this blessed Design , caused a second proroguation of the Parliament , upon hopes of 200000 l. from France , whi●h was dexterously prevented by the Duke of Buckingham ; which the King so ill resented , that his Attorney-General had Orders in Council to Indict him of Buggery , with a Design to have taken away his Life , and repair the French disappointment by the Confiscation of his Estate , had the project taken . Never so much Villany in contrivance , never so much Money ill spent , and never worse luck . But nothing could daunt the Popish Projectors ; and therefore , though the Meal-Tub-Conspiracy was quite baffled , yet there was another quickly hatch'd , of the same stamp and nature , though carried on by other Instruments . Nell Wall , an Irish Papist , and a Wench formerly employed only to empty Close-stools at White-Hall ; but afterwards , for her Religion , advanced to be one of the French Dutchesses Women , and so to the King's Favour , by which she became a great States-Woman , as well as a common Whore. To this Woman a great part of the Popish Secrets were discovered , and by her means Fitz-Harris was first introduced to the Dutchess , and then to the King , where he was told , That the Plot would undo them , unless a way could be found to make a Counter-plot : therefore he was bid to try all ways to effect it ; for that no Cost should be spared , but such Rewards should be given as were fit for so great a Service . Draw , Painter , here , England's pious Protestant Monarch , Counter-plotting with his Popish Concubine , and her Close-stool Wench , against his Parliament and Kingdom in favour of those that sought the destruction of both . The business of this Irish Tool , was to find out Seditious Lampoons and Pamphlets , and carry them to White-Hall , where he had Audience , and private Conferences with Nell Wall , the Dutchess , and the King himself ; and where he had sometimes given for secret service , a Hundred , and Two Hundred Pound at a time ; and was no less slabber'd by his Gracious Soveraign , than Dangerfield had been before . So zealous were We for the Popish Cause , that rather than miss of the Designs of enslaving the Nation by Arbitrary Government and Popery , that We would have declar'd our selves even to have kiss'd the Tail , as well as the Cheeks of the most Contemptible Creatures in the World. Nor must it be omitted as an Argument of His Majesty's great Zeal for the Protestant Religion , That when one Sergeant , a Priest , made a discovery of the Popish Plot from Holland , which he caus'd to be transmitted to the Court , with an intention to have discovered several others , he was first brib'd off by Pillory-Carr , then sent for into England , slightly and slily examined , had his Pardon given him , and sent back with Five Pound a week , to say no more . And in this game , that we may understand by whose Countenancing the thing was done , Sir. L. Ienkins shewed the utmost of his Parts and Fidelity , being just enter'd Secretary in the room of another , who did not care to venture so far as that both Fool , as well as Knave , did . Among whose good Services to his Master , we may reckon his endeavours as much as lay in his Power , to conceal the Murther of the Priest at Abbeville in France , upon intimation that he was coming into England , to make a farther discovery of the Plot : Which together with his fasting , and other infallible tokens , shewed him to be plainly , what was well enough known before , Father Goff's Creature , as well as the King 's and Duke's . Nor was it a thing less astonishing to the Nation , to see the Parliament prorogued from time to time , no less than seven times , before permitted to sit , on purpose to get time for the Popish Duke to settle the Protestant Religion in Scotland , and to the end the Conspirators might get heart and footing again , and retrieve their Losses in England ; and in this Interval it was , that Messengers were sent to their Friends at Rome , and others their Associates , for Money to strike while the Iron was hot , in regard that Scotland by this time was secur'd , and all things in such a forwardness , that now or never was the time ; but the Pope , had such an ill opinion of our Soveraign's Fidelity , that he slipt his neck out of the Collar , and in imitation of him the rest excused themselves upon the score of their poverty . Thus missing money from Rome , and the rest of their Popish Associates , and the King of France refusing to part with any more Cash , there was no way but one at a forc'd-put , which was to let the Parliament sit , and to make them the more willing to give money to undo the Nation , the King in a framed Speech told them , of the wonderful Advantageous Alliances for the Kingdoms good he had made with Foreign Princes , and particularly with H●lland ; and how necessary it was to preserv● Tangier , which had already run him in Debt . Upon which Considerations the Burden of his Song was More Money . But the Parliament Incensed at the frequent Prorogations , fell upon Considerations more profitable for the Kingdom , such as were the bringing to Condign punishment the Obstructers of their Sitting , the Impeaching of North for Drawing the Proclamation against Petitioning , and three of the Judges for dismissing the Grand Jury , before whom the Duke was Indicted of Recus●ncy , before they could make their presentments , the prosecution of the Popish-Plot , and the Examination of the Meal-Tub-Sham ; all which they lookt upon to be of greater moment , than the King's Arguments for his wants . For it was well known , that by His per●idious Dealings abroad , he had so impaired his Credit with all the Foreign Princes , to whom he sent , that they slighted his Applications , as one upon whose Word they could never Rely . And as for the preservation of Tangier , there was nothing less in his Thoughts : A fine Credit for a Prince , and an excellent Character to recommend him to Posterity , that he had no other than his own Sinister ends upon the Grand Council of his Kingdom , nor no other way to work them to ●hose ends , unless by forging untruths , to make them accessary to the betraying of the ●eople , that had entrusted them . The Parliament therefore bent all their Cares to secure the Kingdom from Popery ; ●oncluding that the Dukes Apost●tizing from ●is Religion , was the sole Evil , under which ●he N●●●ons in a more particular manner ●roaned and consequently , that he was to 〈◊〉 Dismo●●ted . But the King being re●●lved not to forsake his Brother , whatever ●●came of the Kingdom , out of a pro●ense ●alice to the Nation , and ●oresight of the Miseries which his Brother's Government would bring upon the people , rather than out of any natural Affection that he bore him , took such a high Resentment against these honest and just proceedings of the Houses , that after he had Sacrificed the Lord Stafford to his hopes of obtaining money ; upon the Dukes undertaking to furnish him , he Dissolved this Parliament too , with promise of another at Oxford , to sweeten the bitter Pill which he had made the Nation to swallow . In the mean time , all the Care imaginable was taken to bring the Protestant-Plot to perfection ; preparative to which , Judges were selected , with Dispositions , Thoughts , and Minds , as Scarlet as their Gowns . And the Choice of Sheriffs was wrested by force from the people , that they might pick out Juries without Conscience and Honesty . A Plot contrived by Perfidiousness and Treachery , beyond the parallel of History . A Plot with Parisian Massacre in the Belly o● it , designing no less an Innundation of Innocent Protestant Blood , under the colour and forms of Justice ; and yet , who but he who in his last wheedling Speech to pick the Nations Pocket , had promised to Consen● to any Laws against Popery , at the botto● of it ? Who but he , the Suborner and Instructer of Fitzharris , and the Gratifier of him too with his own Hand ? And why was W — p readmitted to his and his Brother's Favour , but to be the principal Broker for Witnesses , and grand Minister of Subordination for the carrying on this bloody Design ; that since he could not advance his Fortune by the prostitution of his own Daughter , he might do it by betraying the Innocent to slaughter . What a crew of Devils in the shape of Men , a Regiment of Miscreants , in whom all the Transgressions of the Law , and Morality , were muster'd together ? I say , what a band of such Caitiffs were rendevouz'd , and with that Money which Parliaments gave to promote the Security of the Kingdom , carress'd and pamper'd , even to excess , for the destruction of the Innocent ? And all this at the expence of him , that bore the Stile and Character of our Gracious Soveraign . For full proofs of which , there needs no more , than to look into the Tryal of Fitzharris himself , and observe the Shuff●ng and Hectoring of Portsmouth , and her Close-stool Wench , Mrs. Wall , when they were ask'd the Question about the Money that was given him at White-Hall ; and yet one would have thought that the modest and humble Address , and Petitions of so ma●y Parliaments to secure the Lives and Religion of his people ; that the care and tenderness which they had still , out of mistake , for his person ; that the prostrated Complaints of a distressed Nation ; and that the foresight of these dismal Calamities he was bringing upon three spacious and opulent Kingdoms , might have interceded for some Compassion , had there been a grain of common Humanity in his Adamantine Heart ; or that the heat of his Lust had not petrified all his pity . And yet as horrid as this Plot was , which nothing could equal , but that horrid Plot of his own , which this was contrived to cove● and stifle by excelling it , was carried on with all the vigour imaginable ; insomuch , that the more fatal Libel than the Gorgon's Head that was to kill unseen , was ready prepared for the Work , and the Train ready to take fire , had not Everard's Jealousie of some design upon himself , outwitted Fitzharris , and first betrayed him , to save his own Bacon . To recite the particulars of a Design already so well known , and publickly exposed to all the World , would be a repetition altogether needless . This however was observable , that we were come to the height of Tiberius's Reign ; when Informers , and 〈◊〉 Accusers , a sort of Men found out for th● Ruine of the Publick ; and for the punishment of which ; no Laws can be too severe , were encouraged and courted with Rewards . Nullus à poena hominum cessavit dies ; decreta accusatoribus precipua premia ; nemini delatorum fides abrogata ; omne Crimen pro Capitali receptum , etiam paucorum simpliciumque Verborum . No day passed without some punishment inflicted ; great Rewards given to Informers ; no Informer but what was believed ; all Crimes were adjudged Capital , though merely a few idle Words . Such a Harmony there was between these times , and the pernicious Reign of that Master in Cruelty and Dissimulation , Tiberius . But the Roguery being discovered , while Fitzharris thought to have put Everard upon this Dilemma , either to hang , or prove the Libel upon others , he came to run himself into the Noose . Lord ! into what an Agony it put the King , the Duke his dear Brother , and their then juggling Instruments ! that the King , who a little before was so overjoyed with the accompt of the Contrivance , which was given him at White-hall , that he could hardly contain himself from displaying the Raptures of his Soul , was now so highly incensed against Fitzharris , that he was heard to say , He should die , if there were no more Men in England . But his Confession to the Recorder , Sir George Treby , and others , what the design of the Conspiracy was , that is to say , to thrust papers into the pockets and Lodgings of such and such Gentlemen , and then to seize them with the papers about them ; so enraged his Employers , that he was presently lockt up in the Tower , out of the reach of all Men , but the Lieutenant , to damn him for spoiling so hopeful a Design ; and Secretary Ienkins , who was only admitted to him , either to threaten or cajole him with fair promises into a Recantation . But above all things , there was such a dread among the Conspirators , lest the Parliament should come to the knowledge of the depth of the Design , that their resolute insisting to have the Cognizance of the Crime within their own jurisdiction , was the occasion of their sudden Dissolution . After which , a Chief Justice was exalted on purpose , to hang Fitzharris out of the way , to prevent his farther discovery , though the rejecting of Fitzharris's Impeachment by the Lords , was a thing so new and unusual , as to the Proceedings of Parliament , that the Commons , who knew the Law , as well as the Judges , voted it a Denial of Justice , and that no Inferior Court should dare to try an Offender by them impeach'd . But the Judges over-ruling the Law , and the Court over-ruling the Judges , no sooner was the Parliament Dissolved , but Fitzharris was Hanged , and by that means many a Mystery of Iniquity concealed . The dissolution of this and the foregoing Parliament was justified by a Declaration in the King's Name , which being published with all the severity and reproach that could be cast upon those worthy Patriots , verified the Report of what the King had been heard to say , That he would make the name of Parliaments to be forgotten in England . However , the Parliament being blown up , and the King running away in a pretended pannick fear from Oxford , to colour the ensuing projects of Plotting and Subornation , no sooner was he settled again at London , and Fitzharris Hang'd to the great joy of those that adored him before , but the Gazett was cram'd with Addresses from all parts of the Nation , to thank the King for his expressions and promises to Govern by Law , which was no more than his Duty : But those Addresses were only signed by the unthinking , loose , and rascally part of the people , who were not sensible of the mischief which was thereby intended , which was , to make the Nation out of Love with Parliaments , thereby to unhinge the Government , and to introduce Tyranny and Arbitrary Power . And that th Addressorse were only the Canaille of the Kingdom , with only a Tool of Quality at the Head of them , the Conspirators well knew ; which was the reason they never durst adventure to call any more Parliaments upon the Credit of their Addresses , notwithstanding the mighty brags of their Number and Reputation in the Countries . As for the Tryal of Fitzharris , I shall say nothing of it , as being already in Print . Only this is to be observed by the way , That no Attorney or Sollicitor-General durst have been so officious , as to go to the Grand-Jury themselves , make fine Speeches to the Jury , and sollicit the finding of the Bill , had they not been encouraged to do what they did by Men of highest Authority in the Nation : Nevertheless the Jury would not proceed without the Opinion of the King's Bench , which was , That they must find the Bill , without taking notice of the Impeachment . For which the Valour of the C. J. being highly applauded at Court , was sufficient to let the World know what sort of Justice influenced the Court : And which might also be as well farther discerned by the Judges over-ruling the weighty Arguments of Fitzharris's Councel in behalf of his Plea , tho the most Learned Lawyers in the Nation , without giving any Reason at all for what they did . Nor was it less observable what care and industry was used at Court , after they had got Fitzharris condemned , and under the terrour of Death , to make him disown his Confession in Newgate , and accuse Sir G. Treby , Sir R. Clayton , and the Sheriffs , of forcing the Information from him ; and to lay the Libel to the Lord Howard : And for this , they could find out no other Instrument but one H — s , who was said to be a Papist , and Chaplain to the French Dutchess . But the hard Case was this , That when they had got him , in hopes of his Life , to retract all that they desired , yet he must be hanged at last ; though , for fear he should again , when he saw himself deluded , make a Counter-Recantation , he was buoyed up with assurances of Pardon , till the very moment of his being turned off the Ladder . For whatever the Conspirators pretended , they never designed his Pardon , but only to get a Recantation from him ; and after he was hang'd , to make it publick in print , on purpose to cast an odium upon Persons of worth and sincerity , and wipe off the Reproach of their Infidelities from themselves . However , H — s gave him a Passport to Heaven for ●hat he had done : For b●ing asked by Fitzharris's Wife , who knew the falshood of her Husband's Recantation , Whether her Husband , having wronged so many Innocent Gentlemen , could be sav'd , if he went out of the World with such a Lye in his mouth ? H — s told her , Yes , and accordingly did absolve him as well in his Wifes presence , as upon the Cart before he was executed . Though Fitzharris not willing to trust to the Doctor 's Absolutions , for the ease of his Conscience , wrote two Letters , one to his Wife , and another to his Father , discovering the whole mystery of his Recantation ; which he gave sealed to the Doctor , by him to be delivered to his Wife ; Which the Doctor promised to do , but like a faithless Priest of Rome , carried them to White-hall , where they were never heard of more . Which may give an occasion to posterity hereafter , among the rest of the Tragedies of this Prince's Reign , to insert this Story , under the Title of the Trepanner . But Fitzharris being hang'd , out comes his pretended Recantation , which his Wife hearing cried about the Streets , and viewing it , asked H — s , whether those were her Husband's papers , or no ? Who told her , They were . To which , when he replied , That then her Husband was damn'd , for that she knew all those things to be false : H — s made answer , Never fear that , for I gave h●m Absolution before he departed . However upon the Ground-work of this Recantation , a Committee of Subornation was erected at White-hall , consisting of L. I. the L. C. and four more , by whose directions W — p muster●d up together Turbervil , Dugdale , and all the Irish Evidence who had been most conversant with the E. of Shaftsbury , upon the account of the Irish Plot , together with one Booth , by whom a full detection of the whole Villany has since been made , with a full disclosure of all the Artifices made use of , to have corrupted the Integrity of that honest Gentleman C. Wilkinson . And all those Varlets were now listed and received into pay by the said Committee of Subornation ; and a Swearing-School being set up by W — p , according to his directions from the Committee , he gives to every one their distinct Cues and Lessons , to con and get by heart against occasion should serve . By the settlement of the Committee , which was approved , as was every thing else they did by his Protestant Majesty , Smith , alias Barry , and Dugdale , were to have their Arrears paid , and their Sallaries to go on . Fitzgerald was to have all the Money he wanted for bringing the Evidence in , and present supplies for such as could be got to take part in the V●llany . The Macknamars were to have , one of them Forty , the other Twenty Shillings a week ; Hains and Denis the same proportion : Fitzharris's Wife had Fifteen pound a month , and her Maid Twenty shillings a week ; and the inferiour Scoundrels , such as Eustace Commins , Twelve shillings a week : And for the more convenient defraying of these Expences , it was , That His Majesty was so earnest with the Parliament for Money , under the pretence of Foraign Alliances , and the preservation of Tangier . What will posterity say , when they shall hear of a Prince exhausting the publick Treasure , to support Subornation , Perjury , and the Charge of ungodly and Arbitrary Tryals ; to cover an Infernal Plot , contrived by Priests and Jesuits , and to which himself was privy , with the Ruins of his Innocent people ? For after Ages will need no other proofs to clear their Impartial Judgments , than the fatal consequences of the Bloody Combination : Which being rightly observed , they will find by the eagerness of the chase , how maliciously and industriously these Blood-hounds hunted after Blood , and how closely they pursued their Innocent Game , till they had driven them into the Pit of Perdition . Colledg's Tryal is too well known to be here repeated ; but after Ages will observe , how he was removed from London , where he had been acquitted , to another remote Countrey , where his Prosecutors were assured of his Destruction , by deluded Ignorance , and partial Knavery ; how he was accused , and testified against by Naboth's Evidence , the scandal and reproach of all mankind , whose Memories stink upon the Earth , and would soon be forgotten , but that their Names are made use of to transmit the Infamy of their Employers to posterity . They will observe , not only how he had been long barricadoed up from all Advice ; but how his Pockets were ransacked of all the Papers conveyed to him just before his Tryal , on purpose to deprive him of all helps to make his Justification ; how he was denied the Pannel of the Jury , and the assistance of any Friend to stand by him . They will observe , that his Prosecutors were in great want of Evidence against him , when they were forced to rake the Goals for Miscreants to Swear against him ; and give from thence a shrewd conjecture of the sufficiency of their Testimony . They will observe how eagerly and vehemently the King's Councel laboured the Prisoner's downfall , as if they had been to have forfeited their Places , had he been acquitted . All which severities were palpable demonstrations of that Innocent Man's being determined to Destruction , right or wrong , on purpose to lay the foundation of farther Butcheries . So that being fleshed by this Success , the next attempt of the King's Justice , was upon the Earl of Shaftsbury , for the same pretended Treason for which Colledge had suffered . And here posterity will make the same Observations and Conclusions in general , as in Colledge's Case : But more particularly will after Ages easily conclude from hence , that it was not for any Contrivance of his Lordship , but by a project of Court and Popish Revenge , to destroy a person , who by his Courage , Wisdom , and Good Intelligence , had Opposed and Defeated so many of their Designs against the Religion and Welfare of the Nation . For that this Plot upon his Lordship was so early Communicated to Rome and other Foreign parts , That it was talked of at Paris , and in Flanders , some time before his Lordship was Imprisoned in England . They will observe the Injustice done his Lordship , in refusing to let him see or know the persons that deposed against him , which was not denied either to Coleman , or the Iesuites ; and which being so contrary to Law , was a plain Demonstration , that either the Witnesses were not thought of credit sufficient to support the Confinement of so great a Peer ; or else that it was not convenient to trust the general course of their Lives to be scrutinied too soon . They will admire at the horrid Injustice done his Lordship , in refusing to give an Oath to those that offered to have sworn two Indictments of Subornation against the False Testimonies produced against his Lordship ; The first president of such an Illegal Obstruction of Justice . They will observe the Treachery that was used to have betrayed his Lordship into the Snare . For what greater piece of Treachery could there be , than after they had intercepted a Letter directed to his Lordship out of France , from a Gentleman that had commanded a Regiment of Horse in the Service of C. the I. which Letter was only to desire his Lordship , to befriend him with a Receipt of the Gout , they added to it a Postscript , wherein the Gentleman is made to tell his Lordship , That he was able to furnish him with Forty Thousand Men from France , to oppose the D. of York : and so sent it back again into France , to have been returned into England , and intercepted a second time , but that by a strange providence the Letter happened into the Gentleman's own hands , who was not a little consternated at the alteration . The Motives that induced the Court to begin with this Great and Eminent Peer , will be easily discernible to succeeding Ages . For to what man of Sense and Reason , is it not apparent , that it was the Policy of the Court , That their Revenge against this Earl should not be adjourned , till they had tried the Credit of their Witnesses upon other considerable Persons , for fear lest by his Lordship's Industry and Abilities , he should not only have detected and exposed the whole Intreague , but have broken the Engine , by which the two Brothers thought to have made themselves Absolute Lords of the Laws and Religion of the Kingdom . For which reason , it was thought best to assault him , by way of surprise , and to hurry him to prison , upon a pretended Conspiracy , which People would be astonished at , but not have time to unravel . For the King and his Brother were assured , That the convicting of the E. of Shaf●sbury upon a Charge of Levying War , and Conspiring to seize his Person , would be a kind of moral proof against every other Person whom they had a mind to accuse of the same Crime . Since people would be easily persuaded , That a Person of his prudence and conduct , would not easily embark himself in such a dangerous Enterprise , without a proportionable number of persons , who by their Power , Quality , and Interest , might be supposed to be able to carry it on . So that all the Noblemen and Gentlemen of England , that ever had any Converse or Acquaintance with the Earl , supposing them to be persons obnoxious to the Court , were involved in his Ruine . But it will remain an Eternal Monument of Reproach upon Royal Subornation , That after all the Industry of the Court , and their obsequious Instruments , after all their laying their heads together , to form cohering and probable Proofs of the charge intended to be laid against him , after an Illegal Trick devised to have Tryed him within their own Jurisdiction of the Verge ; which was so contrary to Law , that it was exploded by their own Bene placito Lambskin men ; that at length he was acquitted by a Grand Jury , the most Substantial for Estates , Integrity , and Soundness of Judgment , that had been returned for many years in the City , to the never dying praise of the two Sheriffs , Mr. Pilkington and Mr. Shute . A Disappointment , which so incensed the King and his Dear Brother , That they resolved to make an Islington Village of the Chief Metropolis of the whole Nation ; and what they could not do by Fire , to effect by wresting from them their Franchises and Privileges , far more Ancient than the descent of those that wrested them for a time out of their hands . For this Reason , the Attorney General was ordered to bring a Quo Warranto against the City Charter , under the pretence of their Petitioning for the Sitting of the Parliament ; a thing so far from being a Crime , that it was the undoubted Right of the Nation . And yet such was the awe , which the Antiquity and Legality of the Charter had upon the Judges , that the Fountain of Justice was forc●d to shift his Chief Justice , till he could fix upon one that durst adventure to pronounce Sentence against it . Which as it was the greatest Invasion that could be against the Ancient and Fundamental Constitutions of the Kingdom , so it plainly laid open the King 's Pious intentions of Governing by Law , which according to the new Interpretation of the Court , was the downright Subverting all that was most Sacred and Valuable in the Nation . For what was all this Bustle for ? But as Charters of all other Cities and Corporations were chopt and changed throughout the Nation , to the end the King might have it in his power to violate the electing of a Parliament , and nominate and obtrude upon all Persons of the Kingdom , his own Slaves and Creatures , Papists , and Traytors to their Countrey ; so by reducing one of the most Ancient Corporations , and levelling it with one of the meanest Villages in the Kingdom , that he might command the Mayor and Sheriffs , and by their means the Juries of the City , on purpose to have the Lives of all his Protestant Subjects at his mercy . And that this was his end , was apparent by the Consequences ; for when once the King by the overthrow of the Charter , had made sure of his own Sheriffs and Juries ; Heavens ! how were the Laws of God and the Kingdom wrested by misinterpretation ! how were the Precepts even of Morality it self transvers'd ; the Witnesses for the King caressed and countenanced in their known Subornations ; the Testimonies for the pretended Criminals brow-beaten and run down , and all the Arguments of Law and Reason , urged by the most Learned Council of the Nation , over-ruled by Hectoring and Swaggering Judges , to take away the Lives of the Lord Russel , Coll. Sidney , Armstrong , Cornish , and several others , merely to gratify the Rage of Popish Revenge . Such were the Violences of the Court at that time , in the defiance of Justice , as if all fear of giving account to future Parliaments , had been thrown off , or that they never intended to be troubled with them more , till they had framed the Nation into such a posture , as to chuse such Members as would not only forgive such Villanies , but go sharers with them in the Spoil of the Kingdom . And indeed the eager Thirst of all the Great Men at White-hall , was so apparent , that nothing could be more , by the violent Contests for Sheriffs fit for their Turns , before they were Masters of the Charter ; insomuch , that they laboured it with that Zeal , as if they had been contending pro Aris & Focis ; and some of them were heard to say , That upon that hung all their hopes ; and without it they were undone . For by the Verdicts of such Juries that such Sheriffs should return , they were in hopes to cut off all that in their Stations had appeared for the Exclusion of the Duke , or had shewed their constant Zeal for the Protestant Religion , and the Laws of the Land ; which is easily demonstrable from the Catalogues of those that suffered , or were forced to shelter themselves in Foreign Countries from the Malice of their Revengeful Prosecutors . Nor was it less remarkable , that as all along they embarked themselves in Designs pernicious and destructive to the King and Kingdom ; So that the structure of this was built upon as wicked a foundation , was evident from the Instruments selected and encouraged by the favour of the King and his Brother , to promote it . For as they made use of the Scum of the World to perjure men out of their lives ; so they made use of the Scum of the City , such as Dodson , Masters , Cradock , Mern , and others of the same stamp , to give them the command of Juries proper to complete the Tragedies . A most ready and clever way to extirpate by degrees , the Patriots of our Religion and Liberties . But that this was the Design of getting Court-Sheriffs , Sir G. Iefferies , who well knew the minds of his Superiors at White-hall , was neither afraid nor ashamed to own . For having after the Tryal of Sir Patience Ward , desir'd him to give his Worship a Meeting at Sir Robert Claytons ; he there told him after an insulting manner , That he had satisfied his Revenge for the Loss of the Recordership ; and besides , that having such Sheriffs as they desir'd , they had now the Law in their hands , and could have the Life of whomsoever they pleas'd . Otherwise it had been impossible , but for the Treachery of the Judges that encouraged the Injustice of a packed Iury , to have found the Lord Russel guilty of death , when the whole of what was villanously sworn against him , was in the opinion of far more honest , and equally Learned Lawyers , but Misprision of Treason ; or to have convicted Collonel Sydney upon Innuendo's , made out of old Papers found in his Study , and never published . But then follow'd the barbarous and horrid Murther of the Earl of Essex , which how far it could be laid to the King's Charge , is somewhat as yet in the dark . However , that the King could find no other Morning to accompany his Brother to the Tower , but that very Morning that the Earl was murther'd , will no doubt very much augment the Suspicion of future Ages ; and it will be as odly look'd upon , that when Letters and Proposals were sent to some Great Persons near the King , That if His Majesty would but grant a Pardon to two or three Men that should be nam'd when the Favour was granted , the whole Mystery of the Contrivance should be discovered , and the Contrivers and Actors be particularly detected ; such a Proposal should be slghted and neglected . There was also another Letter , containing the same Offers , addressed to the Countess of Essex , and sent open to one Cademan , a Bookseller in the New-Exchange , which was also carried to one of the Secretary's ; notwithstanding all which , there was not the least syllable published to encourage any Inquisition after that Nobleman's Blood ; which as it amazed all rational people at that time , so it will reflect upon the King himself , and his memory to all succeeding Ages . Now , after all these Tricks and Stratagems of the King , to introduce Tyranny and Slavery , to stifle the Popish-Plot , by throwing it upon his Protestant Subjects ; after such an obstinate and stedfast Conjunction with the sworn Enemy of the Nation , the French King , for the Subversion of our Laws , Liberties and Religion ; after so many Slights and Contempts to put upon the Grand Council of the Kingdom , which he never Assembled , but to empty and drain the Purses of the Nation ; so that there was not a Law which he consented to for the publick Good , not a gracious Speech or Declaration to protect and preserve the Protestant Religion , which the people did not purchase at a dear rate , while the Dissenters , among the rest , paid for the very Thorns and Briars that tore their own Backs ; all this designed on purpose to render the Name of Parliaments odious ; and lastly , a League concluded with the French King , for their total Subversion . After so many Bloody Executions of the chiefest Patriots , and constant Assertors of the Protestant Faith , to believe the King , by whose Authority , and by whose Countenance and Permission all this was done , to be that sincere Protestant which he profest himself to be , is for a Man to shut the Windows of his Understanding against the Light of common Reason . But to shut the Door against all Objections that can be made in his behalf ; there is one proof yet remaining behind , which must be an undeniable Convincement to all the World , of the truth of what has been hitherto said , as standing still recorded under his own Hand , if the Original of the Instructions be Exant , and that is the following Memorial of his Ambassador to the King of Poland , in the year 1667. Most Illustrious Prince , THE King , my Master , has Commanded me to let Your Majesty know the Resolution he has taken in all Points , to concur with the Most Christian King , in giving Your Majesty all possible Ass●stance for the Establishing Your Majesties Title in such ways , as Your Majesty shall think most effectual for the securing Your Crown and Dignity , and the further Honour of Your Queen , and Royal Issue : The King my Master being truly sensible of the Great Misfortunes of those Princes , whose Power must be bounded , and Reason regulated by the fantastick Humours of their Subjects . Till Princes can be freed from those Inconveniences , the King my Master sees no possible prospect of establishing the Roman Catholick Religion If this be not enough to discover his Inclinations , and the whole drift of his Intrigueing Reign , there can be nothing sharp enough to penetrate the stupid and besotted Bigotry of those that stand up in his Justification . But notwithstanding the wilful Blindness of such People , it is to be hoped , that other Men less biassed , and having the same just pretences to common Understanding , have a greater value for their Reason , than to forfeit it to Prejudice , and an Interest , now exploded by all the sober part of the World : And having once disintangled their Judgments from the Incumbrances of Iure Divino Nonsence , they will then find , that the whole Course of his Reign , was no more than what this Memorial discovers ; and that the frequent Breaches of his Word and Promises , both to his Parliaments and People , were but the Effects of the Religion he profess'd and own'd in his Ambassadors's Memorial ; one of the chief Principles of which it is , Not to Keep Faith with Hereticks ; and by which , he was obliged to be more faithful to the King of Poland , than the King of Heaven . Hence it was , that notwithstanding his Declaration from Breda , design'd and penn'd , to obtrude a seeming appearance of Truth , and specious Face of Integrity upon the Nation ; after he came to be Restor'd and Settl'd ; we found our selves deceived in all that we expected from the Faith and Credit of his Royal Word . To which , we may subjoyn that other famous Declaration , upon shutting up of the Exchequer ; Wherein , tho his Sacred Word , and Royal Faith , were in plain emphatical Terms laid to Pledge for Repayment , yet the Events in the Ruin and Impoverishing of so many Families , did no way consist with his graciuos and solemn Promises . As for the Covenant , whathever the Oath were , it matters not here to dispute ; but they who were Witnesses of his taking it , observed , that if ever he seem'd Sincere in what he did , it was in binding his Soul by that solemn Oath ; and yet he not only openly and avowedly broke it , but caused it to be burnt in all the three Nations , by the Hands of the Common Hangman . Where can we find a more matchless piece of Dissimulation , than in his Signing that Declaration in Scotland , which he published under the Title of A Declaration of the King's Majesty , to his Subjects of the Kingdoms of Scotland , England , and Ireland ; which , because it has lain long dormant , and was doubtless designed to have been buried in Oblivion , may not now be unseasonable revived again , to shew how much the World was deceived in him ; and how little reason his Admirers have to have so high an Opinion of him . The whole is too long to be Inserted in these few Sheets ; but that which most conduces to our purpose , is as follows . HIS Majesty taking into Consideration , the merciful Dispensation of Divine Providence , by which he has been recover'd out of the Snare of Evil Counsel , and having attain'd so full a Persuasion and Conscience of the Loyalty of his People of Scotland , with whom he has too long stood at distance , a●d of the Righteousness of their Cause , as to join in one Covenant with them , and to cast himself and his Interests wholly upon God , and in all matters Civil , to follow the Advice of his Parliament , and such as shall be entrusted by them ; and in all matters Ecclesiastical , the Advice of the General Assembly , and their Commissioners ; and being sensible of his Duty to God , and desirous to approve himself to the Consciences of all his good Subjects , and to stop the Mouths of his and their Enemies and Traducers , does in reference to his former Deportments , and his Resolutions for the Future , declares as follows . Here is a Iove Principium , the Motives that induced His Majesty to make this Declaration , were no Considerations of State-Policy ; but in acknowledgment of the ill-merited Mercies of Divine Providence conferred upon him , a Covenant between God , the People , and Himself , like that of David in Hebron . Now see what ensues . Tho His Majesty as a dutiful Son , be obliged to honour the Memory of his Royal Father , and to have in Estimation the Person of his Mother ; yet doth he desire to be deeply humbled and afflicted in Spirit before God , because of his Father's hearkning to , and following Evil Counsels , and his Opposition to the Work of Reformation , and to the solemn League and Covenant , by which so much of the Blood of the Lord's People has been shed in these Kingdoms : And for the Idolatry of his Mother , the Toleration whereof in the King's House , as it was matter of great stumbling to all the Protestant Churches , so could it not but be a high Provocation against him , who is a Iealous God , and visits the Sins of the Fathers upon the Children . And altho His Majesty might Extenuate his former Carriages and Actions in following the Advice , and walking in the way of those who are opposite to the Covenant , and the Work of God , and might excuse his delaying to give Satisfaction to the just and necessary Desires of the Church and Kingdom of Scotland , from his Education and Age , and from his Evil Counsel and Company ; yet knowing he hath to do with God , he doth ingenuously acknowledg all his own Sins , and all the Sins of his Father's House , craving Pardon , and hoping for Mercy and Reconciliation through the Blood of Iesus Christ. And his Majesty having upon full Persuasion of the Iustice and Equity of all the Heads and Articles thereof , sworn and subscribed the National Covenant of the Kingdom of Scotland , and the Solemn League and Covenant of the three Kingdoms of Scotland , England , and Ireland , does declare , That he has not sworn and subscribed these Covenants , and entred into the Oath of God , and his People , upon any sinister Intention , or crooked Design for obtainings his own Ends : but as far as humane Weakness will permit , in the Truth and Sincerity of hie Heart . And that he is firmly resolved , in thd strength of the Lord , to adhere thereto , ane to prosecute to the utmost of his Power all the Ends thereof , in his Station and Calling , really , constantly , and sincerely , all the days of his Life . After such a solemn Stipulation between Heaven , and the Nation of Scotland , no wonder , that he had recourse to the Church of Rome for Absolution . For seeing , that he had such a Confidence of St. Peter's Power deriv'd to the Pope , there is no other Argument to be urg'd in his behalf , that either he thought there was any Faith to be kept with Man , or that he believed in God. And how far the Breach of this , when we reflect how much he was abandoned to Misfortune , and the Reproach of Infidelity , both at Home and Abroad , pursued him to his Grave , is worthy the serious Consideration of his Brother , and Lewis the 14 th . But who could rationally hope that he should deal sincerely , and above-board with the World , whose whole Course had been to deal thus deceitfully and treacherously with God ? He who made it his business to impose upon the All-seeing Eye of the Heavenly Majesty , might easily bear with that Infirmity of his , of not scrupling the deluding Nations , and abusing the Credit of Mankind . 'T was his Practice to be a Papist in his Closet , and a Protestant in his Chappel ; to be this hour at the Mass , bearing a Part in the Romish Ceremonies upon Christmas-Eve at Sommerset-House , and the next day communicating after the maning of the Church of England at White-Hall . This the Dutchess of Cleveland , well knew , and therefore had been often heard to say , That She did not embrace the Catholick Religion out of any esteem that she had for it ; but because that otherwise she could not continue the King's Mistress : And consequently Miss of State. Add to this his sending the D. of Monmouth into France , with an express Command to reconcile himself there to the Church of Rome : So that his whole Life may be said to be made up of Contradictions ; and that to save others the trouble of charging him with falshood , he employed his own Tongue in all his publick Speeches and Declarations , to give his own Heart the Lye ; and justly merited the Character , which a certain Person gave him , to carry with him to his Grave ; That he was an irreconcileable Enemy of the Protestant-Religion , a Parliament , and a Virtuous Woman . But what car'd he , who being put in mind to consider what Infamy the History of his Life and Reign would entail upon his Memory , replied , That he car'd not tho the World made a Whistle of his Tail , when he was dead . Neither indeed was there any true Zeal for any Religion to be believed in a Man , who coming into the Chamber of a certain Peron , and finding a Bible there , reproached the owner for having less wit than he took him to have , since he troubled himself with such a Book . But tho he had long trifled with the Papists , his beloved Friends , and indeed had so carried himself , that neither Papist nor Protestant could tell what to make of him , yet the Papists resolv'd they would be no longer dallied with by him : And therefore so soon as he had made all things ready for his Brother's Exaltation ; after he had prevented his Exclusion from the Throne , and put all the power of his Dominions into his Hands , to give way for him that truly Reign'd while he but only wore the name of King , he was struck with an Apoplexy , as it was given out ( for let the true Cause be what it will , a Prince always dies of some Disease or other in the Physicians Catalogue ) but such were the Circumstances of his Death , that Men began to discover their Suspicions freely to the World , before he was cold . However it were , certain it is , that he was Absolved from all his sins by his great Friend Iohn Huddleston ; and that the Priests gave him extream Unction : At what time , one of his Relations forcing his way into the Room , and seeing them at it , could not forbear saying , That now they had Oyl'd and Greas'd his Boots , they had made him fit for his Iourney . And this is yet more remarkable , That all the while he lay upon his Death-bed , he never spoke to his Brother , to put him in mind of preserving the Laws and Religion of his People ; but only recommended to him the Charitable care of his two Concubines , Portsmouth , and poor Nelly . Nor was it a small aggravation of the general Suspition , to find him hurried to his Grave with such an ungrateful secrecy in the dead of the Night , as if they had feared the Arresting of his Corps for Debt ; not so much as the mean Pomp of the Blewcoat Boys to sing him to Heaven : Insomuch , that he was Buried , by his Brother whom he had so highly obliged , with far less decency than was permitted for the Funeral of his Father , by his capital Enemies that had beheaded him . But that perhaps might be so ordered by Providence , to signify that he was not worth the publick Lamentation of the People , whose Religion and Liberties he had been always designing to subvert . To him succeeded Iames the II. not more perniciously designing , but more eargerly bent in the Chase of National Ruin and Destruction . He came in to England full freighted with his Mother's Religion , and her Malice to the People of the Nation ; but wore at ●●st the same Vizard Mask of Protestantism which his Brother did . But tho he were fitter for the business they both design'd , yet he understood not how to manage it so well ; so that had he been the elder Brother , we may undoubtedly presume to say , he would have been much sooner thrown out of the Saddle , greatly to the saving both the Honour and Treasure of the Nation , and the Life of many a worthy Gentlemen , and true Lover of his Country . 'T is well known , and a thing confirm'd by two Letters yet to be seen , wherein one of the King 's own Chaplains , then upon the spot when it was done , imparts and laments it to a Bishop , That the Duke of York , while he was yet but very young , made a solemn Renunciation of the Protestant Religion , and was reconciled to the Church of Rome while he sojourned with his Mother in France , in hopes by the assistance of the Papists to have defeated his elder Brother of his Right of Inheritance , tho he had all the Indulgence imaginable to conceal his Conversion , where it might be for his private Advantage , and the general good of the Cause . And so early was this Ambition of his to supplant his Elder Brother , That when the Scots were treating with the Exil'd King , to restore him to the Throne of Scotland , That he was at that very time practising with such as remain'd faithful to the King's Title here , that they would renounce his elder Brother , and chuse him for their Soveraign . And for that Reason it was that the Duke forsook him at Bruxels , and withdrew into Holland ; so that the King was necessitated , not only to command him upon his Allegiance to return , but was constrain'd to send the Duke of Ormond , and some other Persons of Quality , as well to threaten as persuade him , before he would go back . And as he was an early Traytor to his Brother , so did he no less treacherously attempt the disowning of his first Wife . For finding her extraordinary Chastity to be such , that he could not be admitted to her Bed , but upon the lawful score of Matrimony , he was at last Married to her , but so very privately , that only the King was privy to it : After which , perceiving that his Brother's Restoration was fully determin'd in England , under pretence that it would be more for his own , and the Honour and Interest of his Brother , to Marry with some great Princess that would both enrich and strengthen them by the largeness of her Dowry , and the greatness of her Relations , he would have taken an occasion from the privacy of the Nuptials , to deny her being his Wife , and to disavow all Contracts and Ceremonies of Marriage between them : But the King detesting so much baseness , as being himself a witness of the Marriage , would not suffer the Lady to be so heinously abused ; but constrain'd him , after great reluctancy , to declare it publickly to all the World. A happy Providence for England , which by that Conjunction blest us with two Protestant Princesses , matchless in Virtue and Piety , and all those other Graces that adorn their Sex ; to the eldest of which we are beholden for our Deliverance from an Inundation of Slavery and Popery , under the Auspicious Conduct of a Soveraign truly meriting the Noble and Ancient Titles of King of Men , and Shepherd of the People , and the yet more dignified Addition , of Defender of the Faith. And from the youngest of which , we have already the earnest of a hopeful Issue to guard us from the like Invasions . Such is the provision of Providence , that many times it happens , the most venomous Creatures carry about them the particular Antidote against their own Poysons . Certain it is , that the D. of York would never have pull'd off his Protestant Vizour , nor have declar'd himself of the Roman Communion so soon , had he not been thereto necessitated by a Stratagem of the King his Brother ; for the Papists having a long time waited for the Accomplishment of the King's Oaths and Promises for restoring their Religion ; and having annually contributed large Sums of Money towards the effecting of it , at length grew impatiently sullen , and would advance no more , unless the King or the Duke would openly declare themselves for Popery : Which the King thinking no way seasonable for him to do , and not being able by all his Arguments and Importunities to prevail with his Brother to do it , he at length bethought himself of this Project , which was , To get the Queen to write a Letter , intimating her Intention to withdraw into a Monastry ; which Letter was to be left upon her Closet Table , that her Priests , as it was concerted before-hand , might there seize it , and seeing the Contents of it , carry it forthwith to the Duke . Upon which the Duke , being jealous lest the King , upon the Queen's relinquishing her Husband , might be induced to marry again , and thereby deprive him of the hopes of succeeding , than which there was nothing which he thirsted after more , upon obtaining a previous Assurance , that in case he declared himself a Papist , she should not withdraw , immediately pull'd off his Mask , and renounced Communion with the Church of England . Being thus quit of his fears from the King , his next work was to rid himself of all his Jealousies of the D. of Monmouth . To which purpose he lay day and night at the King , to require him to turn Roman Catholick . Which the King out of his Tenderness to the Romish Cause , as well as to gratifie his Brother , undertook to do , and accordingly sent him into France , with an express Command to reconcile himself to the Church of Rome : however , the Duke of Monmouth , out of an aversion to the Fopperies of that Religion , fail'd in his performance . Which so incens'd the D. of Y. that from that time forward he studied all the ways imaginable to bring him to Destruction . In the mean time , having by his publickly declaring himself a Papist , engag'd all those of the same Religion , to his Person and Interest , he resolved to drive on , Iehu-like , and to promote the Catholick Cause , with all the vigour and swiftness he was able , and to make the utmost use of his Brothers good Intentions . And such was his Bigottry to the Romish Church , That according to the Principles of that Religion , he stuck at nothing per fas & nefas , to bring about his Popish Designs . I shall not here dilate upon his secret Negotiations at Rome , his Correspondencies with Foreign Priests and Jesuites , or his Private Intrigues with the French King , which have been all sufficiently exposed already in Print ; as for that whatever has been already said of the King , is also to be said of him in general , while he was Duke , in regard they both drew in the same Yoak , for the Ruine of the Nation . For this is as certain as the rest , that he had a most eager desire to Rule , and Rule Despotically , which was the Reason he was frequently heard to say , He had rather Reign one Month as the King of France , than Twenty Years as his Brother the King of England , did . And besides , it was as plain , That he had a mortal Antipathy against the Protestant Religion , and more particularly against the Professors of it in England ; but more especially the Dissenters , upon the score of Revenging his Father's Death . An Imbitter'd Hatred , which he deriv'd from his Mother , who mortally malic'd England upon the same Account , and which he acknowledg'd in his Bedchamber at St. Iames's , where he openly declar'd ; That he was resolv'd to be reveng'd upon the English Nation for his Father's Death . Which if those unthinking People , who are so eager to have him again , would but consider , they would not be so forward for his return . For it is in vain for the Church of England-Men , of what degree soever , to think that their refusing to Swear Allegiance to King William and Queen Mary , would excuse them from that universal Revenge which he would take upon the Nation , were it ever again in his Power . Only here was the Difference between the two Brothers , That the King thought to Ruin his Enemy by main Force , and the fair hand of Victory ; but the Duke hoping to kill two Birds with one Stone , made it his Business at the same time to Ruin the Enemy by Force , and his own Country by Treachery . Thus when he had engag'd his Brother in the First Holy Dutch War of the Extirpation of Hereticks , he permits the English at first to exercise all the Bravery of their Skill and Courage to a great Probability of Success ; but then falls asleep in the height of his Conduct , to the end the Dutch for want of Orders might have an Opportunity to wrest the Victory out of the Hands of the English , on purpose to keep the Ballance of Destruction on both sides even . Thus he permitted himself to be surpris'd at Soul-Bay , knowing there were enough to Maul the Enemy , but not enough to preserve those that Fought on our side . So that the Dutch may be said to be well Thrash'd , and the English to be well Sacrific'd . And as a farther Demonstration of his Perfidious Soul , when he found the Contest would be too tedious between two Nations so well match'd , it was the Duke's Contrivance to Suborn and Bribe two Indigent and Desperate Villains , to go over and Fire the Dutch Ships as they lay in their Harbours ; and when he had done that , it was the same Treachery , that with a sham Story lull'd his Brother asleep , and procur'd the Firing of our Ships at Chatham . The Burning of London was such a matchless Piece , as could not have enter'd into the Breast of any but a Bejesuited Herostratus , in hopes to purchase the infamous immortality of a Popish Saintship , by reducing to Ashes , the greatest Bulwark and Magazin of the Protestant Religion in Europe . Rome was set on Fire by Nero , to have rebuilt it again more Glorious , and that he might have space enough for one of the most sumptuous Palaces so design'd , under the Sun ; thereby to have made the Mistress of the Earth , the wonder of the World : But London was fired , not only to destroy the Wealth and Habitations of the City , never to have risen more , but with an intention to extirpate the Inhabitants themselves to boot , and to have turn'd the Venerable and Spacious Pile into a depopulated Wilderness , by a general Massacre of the People , under the Consternation of the spreading Flames . The standing Streets provided and furnished with Incendiaries with fresh Materials to revive and restore the weary Conflagration ; and when taken in the Act , rescued out of the Hands of those that seized them , and sent to St. Iames's , to be there secured from the Rage of the Multitude , and then dismist without Prosecution . An excellent way to have made all sure , by mixing the Blood of the Inhabitants with the Ashes of their Dwellings , the only Cement which the Papists believed would fastest bind the Fabrick of the Romish Church . And what greater piece of Perfidie could there be , than while the D. was riding about the Streets under pretence of assisting to quench the Fire , that his Guards were at the same time employed to prevent the People from removing their Goods ; and his Palace made the Refuge of such as were taken in the very fact of cherishing and fomenting the Flames ! This the Committee of Parliament trac'd so far , that it cost the Life of the poor Gentleman that gave the Information of these Things to the Chair-man of the Committee , to prevent any further Discovery , and secure the D. from the Danger of his Life . Coleman's crying out , There was no Faith in Man , was a most undeniable Testimony of the Treachery of his Master , notwithstanding all the faithful Service he had done him ; and was it not a Magnanimous and Generous Act of a Prince , to betray , as he did , to the Gallows , not only his most trusty Servant , but his Fellow-Partner in the Conspiracy ? More inhumane still , was the Barbarous Murder actually contriv'd and brought to perfection , by the encourag'd Instruments of the Duke . For he it was that sent word to Coleman , to bid him take no care , for that Sir Edmondbury Godfrey should be remov'd out of the way ; and at the same time took the like care that his Servant Coleman should follow him . For it was Detection that he feared , and the Duke well knew that the Dead could never tell Tales . The Particulars of the Murder , and how far the Circumstances of it reached the Duke , are too fresh in Memory to be here inserted ; and Dispensation for Deeds of the blackest hew were so easily obtained , that it was no wonder the Duke so little boggled at a single Murder , to conceal the designs of general Massacres , wherein he was engag'd . In pursuance of which , he was no less industrious to bring the Presbyterians and all the Dissenting Protestants , within the Snare of his Sham-plot , in order to the Destruction of thousands of Innocent Persons . This Dangerfield discovered to the World , and his Informations taken upon Oath , before Sir William Roberts , and Sir William Poultney , are extant , wherein he gives an Account of his being introduced several times into the Duke of York's Presence . Particularly , that being , once among the rest , admitted to the Duke of York's Closet at White-Hall , he kissed his Hand upon his Knees : And then being taken up by the Duke , he gave him a little Book , containing the whole Scheme of the Presbyterian Plot , for which the Duke thank'd him , as also for his diligence in the Catholick Cause , and wishing good Success to his Undertakings ; Added these words ; That the Presbyterian Plot was a thing of most mighty Consequence , and I do not question , but the Effects of it will answer our Expectation ; especially , in the Northern Parts , where I am well assur'd , the major Part of the Gentry are my Friends , and have given sufficient Demonstrations to me , as also of their Intentions to prosecute this Presbyterian Plot , for they are no strangers to the Design . At the same time , he ordered Dangerfield to be very careful of what he communicated to the Persons who were to be the Witnesses in that new Plot , lest he should be caught in the Subornation , and so bring a terrible Odium upon the Catholicks , and make himself uncapable of any further Service . Then for Encouragement in the prosecution of the Sham-Plot , the Duke promis'd , that he would take care that Mony should not be wanting , and ordered him , with all the Expedition the Thing would allow , to make a Discovery of it to the King. At the same time , the Duke also made divers Vows , and bitter Execrations , to stand by him in the Thing , and engaged upon his Honour , to be his Rewarder ; and , in Earnest , gave him Twenty Guinies with his own Hand ; and telling him withal , what a great Reputation he had gained among the Catholicks ; and that in a short time he should see the Catholick Religion flourish in these Kingdoms ; with a great deal more to the same purpose . Of the truth of which , among many others , there could not be a more convincing Proof , than the bitter Enmity which the Duke bore to Dangerfield after his Discovery ; and the severe Usage which he receiv'd from Iefferies , the Duke's Creature , and the Rhadamantine Dispenser of his Revenges . In Scotland he Rul'd , or rather Reign'd , tho in his Brother's Life-time , with a more Arbitrary and Lawless Controul . And there it was that he breath'd forth his Venome against the Protestants , utter'd his Tyrannous Maximes with more freedom , and exercis'd his Tyranny with a more boundless and exorbitant Extravagance . For there it was , that he first undertook to exercise the power of Sovereign Rule , refusing to take the Oath of High Commissioner , which the Law of the Country requir'd , as here he had denied to take the Test ; and to shew how he intended to govern England , when it came to his turn , there it was , that in the hearing of Persons of great Credit , he had this worthy Apothegm , That tho in England the Lawyers rul'd the Court , yet in Scotland he would rule the Lawyers . There it was , that he positively denied to give the Parliament any security for the Preservation of their Religion , in case he succeeded to the Crown . And being told of the Terms that the King had offer'd to the Parliament of England , tho much harder and more dishonourable than any which they required , he replied , That the King never intended any such Limitations should pass ; nor did he offer them , but when he knew they would not be accepted . And farther , to demonstrate his imbitter'd hatred of the Protestants , and with what Rage and Fury he intended to prosecute them , he told several Members of the Parliament , when they were endeavouring to get some Bills to pass for the Security of their Religion , in case of a Popish Successor , That whatever they intended or prepared against the Papists , should light upon others . Which tho it stopt him from taking the Advantage of any new Bills , yet he was so just to his Word in behalf of the Papists , that he pour'd all the Rigor of the Penal Laws against the Papists , upon the Protestants in that Kingdom , under the name of Dissenters , whom he persecuted with that infatiable violence , as if according to his own Expression , he had fully concluded , That it would never be well with Scotland , till all the South-side of Ferth were made a Hunting Field . For indeed that was the true in tent and drift of all his envenom'd Prosecutions of those People , as well in England as in Scotland , in hopes by so severe an Exasperation , they would have broken out into open Rebellion , and so have given him a fair opportunity to have rooted them from the Earth by the Sword. Which was evident from another Saying of his ; for that having one day given his Opinion of sober Dissenters , and setting them forth , as he thought in their Colours ; he concluded , That if he might have his Wish , he would have them all turn Rebels , and betake themselves to Arms. Which tho it shew'd his good Will , yet whether it were so prudently spoken by a Person that had so little either of Courage or Conduct as himself , is a question , unless he thought he could subdue them with the Spiritual Weapons of the Pope's Excommunications and Curses : Nor did he at the same time remember , that the heavy oppressions of the Spanish Inquisition tore from the Dominions of the Spaniard all the seven United Provinces , notwithstanding all that D'Alva , Parma , and Spinola could do ; tho their Military Fame far exceeded his . Thus we have seen the extent of his Christianity ; which we find cooped up within the narrow bounds of Popery . Now for his Morality , which if it signalize it self in any Virtue that celebrates a Great and Glorious Prince , it must be in those two , of Justice and Mercy , which God appropriates most nearly to himself , as the brightest Ornaments of his Divinity : But whether the Duke were either Just or Merciful to the E. of Argyle will be the Question . This Gentleman was one of the most Ancient , and one of the most eminent Noblemen in Scotland , and a Person of extraordinary endowments , and , as such a one , had ●erv'd the King with his Parts , his Person and Estate , beyond what most Men of any Degree in the Nation , either had done or were able to perform ; but because he would not so far comply with , and oblige the Duke , as to fall in with his Counsels , for the Establishment of Popery , and yield himself an Instrument to carry on his Designs of Popery and Arbitrary Power , his Head must be-brought to the Block , the Ancient Honour of his Family must be attainted , and his ample Fortunes be confiscated . To which purpose , a certain Test being fram'd for all the Nobility and Gentry of Scotland to take , not excepting all others who were capable of any Office or Employment in the Kingdom , easy enough for the Papists to Swallow , as being Calculated for their peculiar Advantage ; but difficult for the Protestants , as being that which strangely confus'd and intangled their Consciences . However the Earl was not so scrupulous neither , to avoid all Occasions possible of incurring his Highnesses displeasure , but offer'd to take it , with this Proviso , That he might declare in what sense he was willing to be sworn . Accordingly he did draw up an Explanation of his own meaning ; and tho he were allowed to take the Oath according to that Explanation , which was also con●ormable to an Explanation which themselves were forced to make for the satisfaction of the greatest part of the Kingdom , that was dissatisfied in the Oath as well as the Earl ; Nay , tho his Lordship did take it according to his own allowed Interpretation , which was so far accepted , that he was admitted to take his place in the Council ; yet upon a Capricio of the Duke's Justice , the matter was call'd in question again ; but then such horrid Treasons were pick'd out of the Earl's Interpretation , that he was Arraign'd and Condemn'd to lose his Head ; and Execution had been certainly done , had he not made his escape . Nevertheless his whole Estate was seiz'd , he was divested of all his Titles and Dignities ; and contrary to the Custom of the Kingdom , his Coat of Arms was despitefully torn at the Publick Market-Cross of Edinburgh , and his Person hunted after in all places , whither they thought he might be withdrawn , even as far as Hamburgh . And yet after all the scrutinies which sober Men have made , the chiefest of the Scots Lawyers , that were of unbiassed Principles , could never find any thing in the Earl's Interpretation , but what his indispensible Duty obliged him to , both as a Christian , a Subject of Scotland , and a Privy-Councellor to the King. But the D. was resolved to destroy him right or wrong : And therefore being told there was nothing in what the E , of Argyle had said or done , which could be ▪ made a Crime by the Law of the Land ; His Highness , out of the great Affection which he ●bore to so true a Protestant Peer , was pleas'd to reply , But may it not be wrested to Treason ? Which was such an Incouragement , that when his Mind was once understood , he wanted not Instruments that labour'd day and night to make that Question subservient to the D's impatient Thirst of Revenge , and their own Advancement ▪ or else it might be to signalize his Resolution to over-rule the Lawyers in Scotland , had they denied their Submission to his Good Will and Pleasure . By the same Justice it was that Blackwood was Condemn'd , upon a Pretence of having entertain'd upon his Ground certain Persons , who were reported , and said to have been at Bothwel-Bridg . And this , although there had been no notice given of their being Criminals , or any ways Offenders ; nor any Proclamations were issued out against them , by which Blackwood could be obliged to take Cognizance of the Circumstances they lay under ; And that which aggravated the Injustice was this , That the Gentleman suffered after a General Act of Indemnity granted ; and that it was after the Council themselves had for four Years pass'd them by , that either the Persons whom he had reliev'd came to be accus'd , or he to be prosecuted upon this account . And by the same Justice it was , that Mr. Robert Bailzie of Ierismond , was Hang'd and Quartered for a Crime of which he had been Impeach'd and Try'd before the Council , and fin'd six Thousand Pounds Sterling . And all this his Highness did by over-ruling the Lawyers of Scotland ; by which means he had made the Judges and Jury ●as malicious against the Protestants , and as revengeful against the Asserters of the Liberties of Scotland , as himself . Such Exorbitancies of Injustice and Arbitrary Power , that his Brother could never have endur'd in a Subject , had they not been acted all along with his knowledg , and consent , Otherwise , had not the King been strangely infatuated , to believe that whatever his Brother did , was for the advancement of that Cause to which he was so well affected himself , he could never have been so unapprehensive of the Danger he was in , from a Brother so actually in a Conspiracy against his Life : For which Reason he was , by the E. of Shaftsbury , said , to be a Prince not to be parallel'd in History . For certainly , besides the early tryal which the King had of his Ambition beyond-sea , he had a fair warning of the hasty Advances which he made to his Throne in a short time after his Marriage to the Queen : For no sooner was it discover'd the Queen was unlikely to have any Issue by the King , but he and his Party make Proclamation of it to the World , and that he was the certain Heir . He takes his Seat in Parliament as Prince of Wales , with his Guards about him : He assumes the Princes Lodgings at White-hall , his Guards upon the same place , without any interposition between him and the King ; so that the King was in his Hands and Power every night . All Offices and Preferments are bestowed upon him , and at his disposition ; Not a Bishop made without him . After this he changes his Religion to make a Party , and such a Party , that his Brother must be sure to Dye , and be made away , to make room for him . And for the undeniable proof of all this , at length the Plot breaks out , headed by the Duke , his Interest and Design . Plain it was , that where ever he came , he endeavour'd to remove all Obstacles to his intended Designs out of the Way . And therefore some there are who attribute the extremity of the Duke's rigour toward the E. of Argyle , to the great Authority which the Earl had in the High-lands , and the Awe which he had over the Papists , as being Lord Justiciary in those Parts , and his being able upon any Occasion to check and bridle the Marq. of Huntly from attempting the Disturbance of the Publick Peace , or the Prejudice of the Protestants . However this is observable , That notwithstanding the height of Severity which was extended to him , there was as much Favour shewn the Lord Macdonald ; whose invading the Shire of Argyle with an Armed Force , merely because he was required by the said Earl , as being a Papist , to deliver up his Arms , was never so much as questioned , nor so much as a Reprimand given him for what he did ; tho when the Council sent an Herauld to him , to require him to disband his Forces , he caus'd his Coat to be torn from his Back , and sent him back to Edinburgh with all the Marks both of Contempt of themselves , and Disgrace to the Publick Officer . But his Religion was sufficient to atone at that time for his Treason . And now the Duke having a standing-Army of Five Thousand Foot , and Five Hundred Horse in Scotland , at his Devotion , as well as in England , and the Parliament , the main Object of his Hatred and his Fear , being dissov'd , back he returns into England ; where under the Shelter of his Brother's Authority , he began in a short time to exert his tyrannous Disposition , and play the same Unjust and Arbitrary Pranks , as he had done in Scotland ; and because it was not seasonable yet to make use of armed Forces , he set his Westminster-Hall Redcoats , like Pioneers before a marching Army , to level the way for Popery and Arbitrary Controul , to march in over the ruin'd Estates , and murder'd ▪ Bodies of their Opposers . The Judges were his Slaves , the Juries at his Beck ; nothing could withstand him ; the Law it self grows Lawless , and Iefferies-ridden , plays the Debaushee like himself . Justice , or something in her likeness , Swaggers , Hectors , Whips , Imprisons , Fines , Hangs , Draws and Quarters , and Beheads all that come near her , under the Duke's displeasure . Alderman Pilkington , for standing up for the Rights and Liberties of the City , and for refusing to pack a Jury to take away the Earl of Shaftsbury's Life , is prosecuted upon a Scandalum Magnatum , at the Suit of the Duke , Convicted and Condemn'd in a Verdict of an Hundred Thousand Pounds . And Sir Patience Ward , for offering to confront the suborn'd Witnesses , is Indicted of Perjury , for which he was forced to fly to avoid the Infamy of the Pillory ; though in all his Dealings so well known to be a Person of that Justice and Integrity , that for all the hopes of the Duke , he would not have told an untruth . Sir Samuel Barnardiston , for two or three treacherously intercepted Letters to his Friends in the Country , fin'd Ten thousand Pounds ; which he was not suffer'd to discharge by Quarterly Paiments , but the Estate seiz'd by the Duke's Sollicitors , to the End they might have an Opportunity to be more prodigal in the waste of it . But his hunting after the Lives , as well as the Estates of other , was more intolerable , and that by the prostituted Testimony of Suborn'd Irish Rogues and Vagabonds ; and when that would not take the desir'd Effect ▪ by the forc'd Evidence of persons ensnar'd and shackl'd under the Terrors of Death , till their drudgery of Swearing was over . Men so fond of Life , that they bought the uncertain Prolongation of a wicked Mortality , at the unhallow'd price of certain and Immortal Infamy . And therefore not knowing how to Die , when they knew not how to Live , accounted it a more gainful Happiness to quit the Pardon of Heaven's Tribunal , for the Broad Seal of England . By this means fell the Virtuous Lord Russel , a Sacrifice to the Bill of Exclusion , and the Duke's Revenge ; and yet of that integrity to his Country , and untainted course of Life , of whom never any spoke evil , but those that knew no Evil in him ; only because he was one of those that sought to exclude the Duke from the hopes of Tyranny and Oppression , the Duke was resolv'd to exclude him from the Earth . But then comes the Murther of the Earl of Essex ; for that it was a most Barbarous and inhuman Murther , committed by Bravo's and Bloody Ruffians , set on , hir'd and encourag'd by Potent Malice and Cruelty , the pregnant Circumstances no less corroborated by Testimonies , wanting only the confirmation of Legal Judicature , has been already so clearly made out , that there is no place left for a hesitating belief . A Truth so conspicuous , as stands in defiance of the Ridiculing Pen of R. L'Estrange to sham it over with the Buffoonry of his Bantring Acquirements . It cannot be imagin'd , but that so black a Deed of Darkness was carried on by the Contrivers with all the secrecy that could be studied by humane Wit. But never yet was humane Wit so circumspective , but that the most conceal'd of Villanies have been detected by strange and little Accidents , which all the Foresight of humane Sagacity could never prevent . More especially , after such a curious Inquisition , and so much Labour and Industry , pursuing the Cry of this Innocent Nobleman's Blood. Both the Circumstances and Depositions , besides the Declarations of others ready to depose , are made publick at large to the World. And therefore to omit the long-since sifted and winnoed Contradictions of the Witnesses , that were made use of , to prove the Earl a Felo de se ; there are three things since discovered , that carry a strong Conviction with them , of another sort of Murder , in the new Deposition of Dorothy Smith , detecting the Motives , the Author and Contriver , the Resolution taken to murder a Noble Protestant Earl , the Manner concluded , and the Joy of those Infatuated Bigots , when the Deed was perpetrated ; and all this over-heard by the Maid , at a Meeting of one Lover , and several other Persons , privy to the Plot , in the House of one Holmes , whom she then served , a trusty Papist , seated in a by-Corner of the Town , and where they thought themselves , for that Reason , in the greatest Safety in the World. This Meeting was nine Days before the Earl's Death , where after they had vomited out their Malice against the Earl , in the opprobrious Terms of Villain and Dog , and laden him with Curses , it was said , That he knew so much of their Designs , and was so very averse to their Interest , that unless he were taken off , they should never carry them on . Inducements , which as they had carri'd off Sir Edmund-Bury Godfrey before , might be as easily admitted for the Destruction of a more considerable Obstacle ; more especially harboured in the Breasts of Men , that make it peculiar to propagate their Religion by Blood and Massacre . Therefore to remove this great Obstruction out of the way , their great Oracle , the Duke of York , was consulted ; who , after some Meditation , was for Poisoning the Earl : but his Highness being told , that manner of Death would not look well : there was another , who propos'd to his Highness , that he might stabb'd ; but that not being approved of neither , at length his Highness concluded , and ordered his Throat should be cut , and promised to be there when it was done . To all which , there needs no other Comment , but that the Earl's Throat was cut soon after , and that the Duke was in the Tower , separated from the King , and close by the Earl's Lodging , when the Murder was committed . After this , the Maid goes on and deposes , That three days after the same Persons met in the same House , and declared , That the Cutting the Earl's Throat was concluded on , but that it was to be given out , that he had done it himself , and that if any should deny it , they would take them up , and punish them for it . All which being spoken as a thing contriv'd before the Fact was done , and verifi'd in every Particular after it was committed , are Circumstances that would hardly be wrestled with before Impartial Judges , at an Old-Bayly Session ; where it would be also considered , that the terrible Prosecution of Braddon , for making Enquiry into the Murder , came all from White-Hall , under the management of Court-Injustice and Corruption . But lastly , The Maid swears , That the same day the Earl died , the same Persons met again , at her Masters House , and fell a capering about the Room for Ioy ; at which time , one of them striking her Master upon the back , cri'd , The feat was done ; upon which Holmes demanding , whether the Earls Throat was Cut ; the other answer'd , Yes , and added withal , That he could not but laugh to think how like a Fool the Earl look'd , when they came to cut his Throat : whereupon Holmes asking whether his Highness was there ? The other replied , Yes . With which agreed the Informations of several Souldiers , that about a quarter of an hour before the Earl's Death was discover'd , observ'd the Duke to separate from the King ; at what time be beckned to two Persons , who coming to him , he sent them to the Earl's Lodging , from whence they return'd smiling , in less than a quarter of an hour , and told him the business was done , as one of them more particularly declared ; for which particular knowledg of his , he was aterwards sent out of the World. Nor was the Information of the Woman less to be heeded , who informs , That as she was walking , a little before the Earl's death , before his Chamber-window , she heard a very great trampling and bustling in the Earl's chamber , saw three or four heads move close to gether , and heard a loud and doleful cry of Murder . And whereas Floyd the Sentinel denied at Braddon's Trial , the letting of any Men into the Earl's Lodgings before his Death , yet afterwards with great remorse of Conscience he confessed that he did let in Two of Three Men by the Special Order of Hawley the Warder . It will be an unaccountable thing to Posterity , that the E. of S. should so readily part with his Mony of Holland , suspected to be one of the Bloody Ruffians , whenever he went or sent fot it , tho a Profligate , at the same time convicted in Newgate for Robbery upon the High-way . It will also seem as strange , that Webster , an Under-Bailiff of St. Katherines , and an Indigent Ale-draper , should of a sudden be Master of Five hundred Pounds , at such an unlucky nick of Time , as immediately after the Earl's Murder . But I forbear to enlarge any farther upon a Theme already so laboriously discuss'd , and publick to the World. Only this is to be added , That it might seem strange , that after the Murder was done , such care should be taken , and such strict command given for conveying the News to the Old-Baily , till we hear to what End it was done , by the King's Counsel snapping so quickly at it , as if they had had their Lesson before , and Improving it with all their Eloquence , to the Destruction of the Lord Russel . Nor is it unlikely , that Iefferies might be either privy to the Design in some measure at that time , or else be more fully acquainted with it in order to Braddon's Trial. More especially if it be true , which is confidently reported , That his Lordship being at some Publick Place , where he took an occasion to speak largely in the Praise of the Deceased King ; when he had done , However , said he , whispering a Gentleman on the Ear , Had he liv'd six Months longer , we had been all hang'd notwithstanding my Encomiums . The Discovery of which Alteration of the King , by a severe Expression which dropt from his Lips upon reading a Letter from a Lord , who eat his last Meal with the Duke , and wrote the same on his Death-Bed , as it seems to be confirmed by this Saying of Iefferies , so was it by many concluded to be the occasion of hastning the King's Death . Concerning which , the Opinions of the World are various , and some severe , and bearing hard enough upon his Successor : But in regard it is a Mystery , as yet the Embrio of Conjecture , which is only to be matur'd in the Womb of Time , and to be midwiv'd into the World by future Discovery , we leave it to a higher Scrutiny . The Justice of Heaven perhaps not minding a present Revenge of his Death , who had not only prevented the Presecution of Noble and Innocent Essex's Blood , but so severely punish'd the Industrious Enquiry after it . Only this is further to be remark'd , that the Irish Papists could for some time before , fix upon the utmost Period of his Reign , and the D. was sent for in haste out of Scotland , without any apparent Reason for it ; besides that the King's Permission was obtain'd with some Difficulty . However , by the violent and tremendous Death of his Brother , he at length arrived at the long-long wish'd for Haven of his Ambitious Desires ; and beholds himself mounted upon the Pinacle of Royalty , only that his Fall might be the more conspicuous . He was no sooner Proclaimed , but he declared his Religion openly to his Privy Council ; however , he began with a mild and caressing Declaration , which he afterwards broke in every Line of it : A meer Trap baited with Indulgence to Tender Consciences , on purpose to catch the Dissenting Mice , to deliver them , when caught , into the Paws of his ravenous Popish Cats ; but no sooner was he Crowned , but as if his Coronation-Oath , and all his Promises so lately made , had been no more than so many Pills of Opium , and believing himself environed with Power sufficient to maintain his Tyranny and Oppression , he invades Property , by Expulsion of the right Owners ; tramples upon the Laws by his pretended Prerogative of Suspending Power , and goes about to pull down the Stately Structure of the Protestant Religion , by the Suspension of one , and imprisoning and Arraigning at his Criminal Bar , no less than Seven of the most Eminent Fathers of the English Church . And by a strange Alteration of the Face of Government , Treason over-rules the Law , and Traitors impeached , are fetched out of Jail to sit Triumphantly dominering at the Helm of State ; and Iefferies , the Daniel that in some measure might be said to be taken out of the Lions Den , for the Cruelty of his Nature , is advanced in open Hostility to Justice , to wage War with the Fundamental Constitutions of the Kingdom : A mean Spirit , insulting over his Inferiors , but a Spaniel to his Superiors ; who tho he knew himself no more than a Tool in the hand of the Popish Artificers ; the Shadow of Grandeur , lofty under Contempt , and domineering only in publick ; yet having pawn'd his Soul for the hopes of an Embroidered Purse , rather than recoil to Goodness , carreers on in Mischief , and as if his Robes had not been Scarlet enough , dies them more deep in Innocent Blood , and becomes his Master's Vassal , to enslave the Nation . Such Counsellors as these hurried on the New Crown'd King with such a Rapidness , to accomplish the great Work of introducing Tyranny and Popery , to which his own Fears of leaving the Papists worse than he found them , as furiously carried him , that he threw his Brother into his Grave as if he had not had leisure to bury him ; or as if he had deem'd him not worth a Funeral , whom he thought not worth a longer Life : Unless perhaps he thought the Hypocrisie of Pompous Obsequies , would have but the more provok'd his Brother 's Injur'd Manes , with which , as common Fame had spread it , he was already too much pestred . I will not here dispute the Truth of Apparitions , nor insist upon the vulgar censures about the Town upon the Priests , for not detaining him in the half-way-Prison , but singing him out of Purgatory to make his Brother melancholy , by facing him several times , and giving him an astonishing stroke upon the back , as he was going down a pair of Stairs in Whitehal ; yet this may be asserted , That Guilt accompanied with Terror , forms those Apparitions in in the Mind , which work the same Effect , and obtain the same belief , when once divulg'd among the Credulous , as if they were real : However it were , it shew'd he thought himself but little beholding to him for living so long , and consequently no way oblig'd to retaliate a Succession so late in the Year , with so much Loss of Time. And now the first influences of his Tyranny and Fury against the Protestants , flew into Scotland , where whatever Indulgence he shewed in England , he issued forth a Dreadful Proclamation against the Dissenters , under the Notion of Enemies to the King and Government , and Destroyers of the British Monarchy ; sufficient to have given a more early Alarm to the Dissenters in England , had they not been lull'd asleep by the Softness of a present Repose , and the Charms of their Decoy-Duke , Penn ; the effect rather of their Simplicity than their Policy . But the first Act of his Revenge in England , brake forth upon Dr. Oates ▪ He could not forget the Doctor 's detection of his Conspiracies against the Kingdom : And because he could not find out a way to hang him ; his Chief Iustice Iefferies found out a Punishment to gratify his Royal Fury , worse than Death it self , and till then unknown among Christians , in Imitation of the Roman Fustuarium , by which the Roman Souldiers were often drub'd to Death , or if they scap'd , sent into perpetual Banishment : as the Doctor was first of all Scourg'd by the Common Executioner beyond all Precedent , and then Condemn'd to perpetual Imprisonment . A Sentence so void of all Christian Compassion , that only Iefferies could have invented , and such a Beast as Withens could have pronounced . A goodly sight to see Protestant Judges condemning a Protestant , and the Detector of a most Horrid Popish Plot , upon the Evidence of known Papists , and some of them nearly Related to the Executed Traytors , and this for Perjury too , upon the Testimony of Witnesses already falsifi'd . As if Justice were a thing that never had been Naturaliz'd in Heaven , but only depended upon the Will of the Prince , a Kind of Tool to be us'd by his Bene-placito Slaves , at his or their Discretion , or the grand Poppet of the World , to be shew'd in various Dre●ses and Disguises , as the force of Judicature requir'd . But as for Dangerfield , he had been once his Darling , frequently admitted to kiss his Hand , while he was in Conspiracy with him to Suck the Blood of the Innocent . But there was no Atonement for his revolting , and revealing the Hidden Mystery of Iniquity . Therefore he must dance the same Dance that Oates had done ; only the King did him this small Piece of Justice , to throw away an Inconsiderable Roman Catholick , to Satisfy the general Discontent upon his being Murder'd . In the next place he calls a Parliament , and renews his Assurances and Promises to preserve the Government both in Church and State , as by Law Establish'd ; and Vows to hazard his own Person , as he had formerly done , in defence of the just Liberties and Properties of the Nation . But still the Burden of his song was , More mony . Which the Parliament , willing to Engage him , if possible , by all the Testimonies of their Duty and Loyalty , or at least to shew that nothing should be wanting on their part , readily granted . And in regard that Argyle was said to be Landed , under the Notion of a Rebel in Scotland , they declared their Resolutions to stand by and assist him , with their Lives and Fortunes , against all his Enemies whatever . No less quick to gratify , than he to make those Promises which he never intended to perform . And indeed , under the Consternation the King was then in , upon the Landing of Argyle in Scotland , and the D. of Monmouth in England , both at the same time , perhaps the Parliament might have bound him up to what Conditions they pleas'd ; had they not slipt their Opportunity . But those two Storms being fortunately blown over , the one by ill Conduct , the other by the Treachery of Pretended Friendship , and both Argyle and the D. of Monmouth safe in their Graves , the King was so puft up with a Petty Victory overy a few Clubmen , and so wrapt up with a Conceit , That he had now Conquer'd the whole Nation , that after he had got as much as he thought he could in modesty desire , or they part withal , unless they saw greater Occasions than they did ; which nevertheless were no small Sums , in the heat of their obliging Generosity at the Commencement of a Reign , he turn'd him off , after he had sold them two or three inconsiderable Acts for all their Mony. And now being freed from any farther thoughts of Parliaments , believing himself Impregnable ; he resolves to be Reveng'd upon the Western People for siding with his Capital Enemy Monmouth ; and to that purpose , sends down his Executioner in Ordinary , Iefferies , not to decimate , according to the Heathen way of Mercy , but with the Besome of his Cruelties , to sweep the Country before him , and to depopulate , instead of Punishment . At what time , Acquaintance , or Relation of any that fell in the Field , with a slender Circumstance tack'd to either , was a Crime sufficient for the Extirpation of the Family . And Young and Old were hang'd in Clusters , as if the C. Justice had design'd to raise the Price of Halters ; besides the great Number of those that upon bare Suspicion were transported beyond Sea , and there sold for Slaves , and the Purchase-Mony given away to satisfy the Hunger of needy Papists . After-Ages will read with Astonishment , the barbarous Usage of those poor People , of which among many Instances , this one may seem sufficient whereby to take the Dimensions of all the rest : That when the Sister of the two Hewlands hung upon the Chief Iustices Coach , Imploring Mercy on the behalf of her Brothers ; the Merciless Judg , to make her let go , caus'd his Coachman to cut her Hands and Fingers with the lash of his Whip : Nor would he allow the Respit of the Execution but for two days , tho the Sister with Tears in her Eyes , offer'd a Hundred Pound for so small a Favour . And whoever sheltr'd any of those forlorn Creatures , were hurried to the Slaughter-House with the same inexorable outrage , without any Consideration either of Age or Sex ; Witness the Execution of the Lady Lisle at Winchester . As for Argyle and the Duke , tho they might die pitied , yet could they not be said to be unjustly put to Death , in regard they had declared Open Hostility , and therefore it was no more than they were to expect , upon ill Success . However , since they were betray'd into the Victor's Hands , before any great harm was done , the Crime was not so great that nothing but a Massacre could atone for it ; more especially considering what great Advantages the King made of these Rebellions . For it gave him a fair Opportunity to increase the Number of his Standing-Forces , under pretence , That the Militia was not to be depended upon , and of the Reputation he had lost of being so Miserably unprovided against so wretched an Attempt as Monmouth's was . For which Reason , he was resolv'd to be better provided henceforward for the Security of the Nation ; and to croud in his Popish Officers into Commands , under the Notion of Persons of approv'd Loyalty , and therefore such whose Persons he was neither to expose to disgrace by a Removal , nor himself to suffer the want of : Cautious and wary of Removing his Popish Commanders , but minding not at all to remove the Fears and Jealousies of the Nation . However his Plausible Promises , and this Important Necessity of augmenting his Standing Forces , were urg'd upon the Parliament , as undeniable Reasons for More Mony . So great a Confidence the King had either in the Awe which he had upon the Parliament , or that they were so Blind that they could not see through his Cobweb Pretences . But he soon found that he was deceived in his Expectations , and therefore perceiving his Gilded Hooks could not take , they were decently Dismiss'd , after ten Days Sitting , with a Prorogation from October till the F●bruary ensuing . But it seems King Iames was so confidently assur'd , That the Bands of Friendship and Alliance between him and the French King were so Indissoluble , That whatever Assistance the Parliament deny'd him in England , he should not fail of from his Dear Friend and Confederate in France ; That the Parliament being call'd for no other Intent or Purpose than to Betray the Nation , by Furnishing the King to accomplish his Designs of Popery and Arbitrary Government ; when they refused to be subservient to those Wicked Designs , and thought it more Honourable to be true to the Nation whom they Represented , than Serviceable to the Encroachment of his Tyranny , he lay'd them aside , as things no longer useful for him . And therefore like a man cha●ed with their just denial of his Demands , he resolves the utter Subversion of English Parliaments , the only Remora's of his ungodly Projects , by compleating the Disfranchising of all the , Cities and Corporations throughout the Nation , so fairly begun in his Brother's Reign , to make way for the Introduction of a French Parliament , That should at once have surrender'd all the Ancient Liberty of the Kingdom , and the whole Power of the Government into his Hands . And to Terrifie men into this slavish Complyance , with his Tyrannical Will and Pleasure , the Names of all such Persons , as out of Honour and Conscience , refused to Co-operate with his Popish Ministers towards the Publick Ruin of Liberty and Religion , and prostitute their own and the Freedoms of their Posterity to his Arbitrary subjection , were Threatned to be return'd up to the Attorney-General , to the end their Persons and Estates might be undone by Illegal Prosecutions . In the next place , to set himself Paramount above all the Controul of Law , out of a vain Opinion that Kings are accountable to none but God ; A set of Judges are pickt out to overturn the very Fundamentals of Humane Society , and Annihilate the very ends of Government . This the King knew must be done by Judges that had abandoned all High Opinion of God and Nature , and had quitted all sense of Conscience and True Honour ; and had wholly given up their Judgments to the foolish Enticements of Ambition and Flattery : And when he had found out such , it was easie for him to say , with his Grandfather of the same Name , Let me make what Iudges I please , and I will easily have what I please to be Law. No wonder then these Judges having Instruments drawn up by Brent , which pass'd the Great Seal to Indemnifie them for whatever they did or said Illegally , affirm'd it to the King for Law , That the King was an Independent Prince . That the Laws of the Kingdom , were the Kings Laws . That the Kings of England might Dispence with all Laws , that regarded Penalties and Punishments , as oft as necessity required . That they were Iudges and Arbitrators who have Power to Iudge of the Necessity which may induce them to make use of these Dispensations . And Lastly , That the King of England could not Renounce a Prerogative annexed to the Crown . By Vertue of which Concessions and Opinions of the Judges , all the Laws in England made in the Reigns of four several Princes for the security of the Nation against Popery and Arbitrary Government , were rendred of no Effect . By Vertue of these Concessions , Arundel of Warder , was made Lord Privy Seal , Alibone a Judge , and Castlemain was sent with great Pomp an Embassador to Rome , to be there contemn'd and despis'd by his Holiness , for the bad name which his Master had among all the Princes of Europe , and the ill Opinion the Pope himself had of him . By Vertue of these Concessions it was , that the greatest part of the Kingdom 's Military Safety and Defence , was put into the hands of persons incapable to be intrusted with them by the Express Laws of the Kingdom ; and that the Execution of the Ancient Laws and Statutes of the Realm , against divers sorts of Treasons and other hainous Crimes was stopt . By Vertue of these Concessions , Sir E. Hales was made Lieutenant of the Tower , to Terrifie the City with his Mortar-pieces , and level his Great Guns to the Destruction of the Metropolis of the Kingdom , when the Word should be given him . By Vertue of these Concessions it was , that Peters was made a Privy Councellor , to outbrave the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury and the Bishop of London : that he had his four Provincial Bishops , and that the Priests and Jesuites swarm'd in all parts of the Kingdom , Built themselves Convents , hired Mass Houses , made open Profession of their Foppish Religion in the Chief City of the Nation , and in several of the Great Cities and Towns of the Kingdom , and publickly Ridicul'd the Scripture in their Pulpits . All which Transgressions of all the Laws of the Land both Civil and Ecclesia●tick , are so fully Represented in the Memorial of the Protestants , to their Highnesses the Prince and Princess of Orange , That they cannot be more fully , no● more sensibly repeated . But the Inundation stopt not here , it was to be a general Deluge , or nothing at all . To which purpose , all Obstructions that oppos'd the ●orrent , were to be levell'd or remov'd out of the way ; for effecting of which , there could be no Engine thought sufficient , but that of the Ecclesiastical Commission , so arbitrary in its Orig●nal ▪ that it had nothing but the Pillars of the Prerogative to support it ; and manag'd with that Arbitrary Fury by Iefferies , That he look'd like a Monstrous Titan Warring against the Heaven of Law and Justice . For he had no way to carry Illegality with a high hand , but by arrogant Domineering , and surly Incivility , while he had nothing to offer to any Person , that offer'd Law to him , but Sic Volo , Sic Iubeo . To tell a Peer of England and the Bishop of London , so much his Superiour , only that he Sate upon the Throne of his Commission , he that was not to be mentioned with the Bishop in the same day , was such a foul piece of Exeuberance of his Guildhall Eloquence , which only could have dropt from the lips of Insulting Barbarism . All that can be said for him is this , That as many men commit Absurdities when loden with Wine , this was one of his Extravagancies in his Drink of Honour . And indeed , after he had tasted of that potent Charm , the whole Course of his Behaviour seem'd to be a meer Intoxication , which made him afterwards make use of the same Receipt to drown both his Life and his Dishonour together . However , the Suspending this Noble Peer and Bishop , contrary to all pretence of Law , for refusing to obey the Kings unjust and illegal Command , was no such Advantage to the King's Cause , that he had so much reason to thank the Chancellor , or Peters either , for putting him upon committing a greater Act of Injustice , to justify a less . The Bishop was too well , and too generally belov'd among all the professors of Protestantism , for the Papists to put such an Affront upon so Eminent a Father of the Protestant Church , for them not to resent it ; even , the more prudent Papists thought it a Proceeding too harsh and unreasonable , and the more moderate look'd upon it as too base and unworthy ; so that the Hot-spurs of the King's Council were losers on every side . And besides , it was such a stabbing contradiction to the King's Speech in Council upon his Brother's Death , That since it had pleased God he should succeed so good and gracious a Prince as his dear Brother , he was resolv'd to follow his Example , more especially in that of Clemency and Tenderness to his People . That the barbarous suspending this Bishop was one of the main things which destroyed the solemn verity of Royal Word . Which though he had falsified already in his severity to Otes and Dangerfield , yet the Person of a Peer and Bishop , and a Star of the first Magnitude in the Church of England render'd much more conspicuous . But the King was under a necessity ; he had declar'd one thing to the Protestants , but he had bound himself to do another for the Papists . If he falsified with the Protestants , the Papists could absolve him ; If he prov'd unfaithful to the Papists , they would never forgive him . And in this Dilemma he resolv'd to follow the Maxim of his Profession , Not to keep Faith with Hereticks . Neither were the steps he made , the steps of State-convenience , now and then upon an exigency ; but all in a huddle , out of his Zeal , to make large steps , for fear he should dye and leave the Papists worse than he found them . These severe Proceedings against the Bishop of London , were the Violation of that part of his Declaration , wherein he promis'd the Preservation of the Ecclesiastical Government as Established by Law. But the Barbarous usage of the Gentlemen of both Maudlin Colledges , was an unsanctified breach of another part of his Declaration , wherein he no less solemnly engaged to maintain the Protestants in all their Properties and Possessions as well of Church as Abby-Lands , as of all other their Properties whatsoever . Notwithstand all which , how he turn'd those Gentlemen out of their Legal Freeholds by the Arbitrary Power of his High Commission , how he violated the Constitutions of the deceased Founders , and with what an embitter'd rage and fury he rated them like Dogs , when they lay prostrate at his feet , more like a Pagan Tyrant , than a Christian King , is notoriously known ; and all this to make a Popish Seminary of one of the most noble and best endowed Colledges in the University . And this Peters look'd upon as one of his great Master-pieces , as appears by a Letter of his written to the French King's Confessor , Father La Chese , wherein he had this vaunting expression , I have gain'd a great point , in perswading the King to place our Fathers in Magdalen-Colledge in Oxford , where they will be able to tutor the young Scholars in the Catholick Religion . Nor was it thought sufficient to turn the Proprietors out of their Freeholds , but under pretence of disobedience to the King's Commands , they were also made uncapable of any Ecclesiastical Preferment , or of the Exercise of Holy Orders , and depriv'd of all those other ways and means of Livelihood , for which their Education had qualified them . Which as it was a piece of Inhumanity without parallel , so it was a plain demonstration of the main drift and design of the King and his Popish Furies , first to draw the Protestant Clergy into the snare of Disobedience , and then under the pretence of Obstinacy and Stubborness , totally to suppress and silence them . And yet after all this , for the King so publickly to give himself the Lye , by proclaiming to all the World , as he did , such a notorious untruth , as That he had never invaded the Property of any Man since his coming to the Crown , was such a piece of Dissimulation , that Oliver Cromwell himself , with all the Irreligion laid to his Charge , was never guilty of . Unless his Father Confessor design'd it for a Miracle to be Recorded among Popish Wonders , That he who had done nothing else from the beginning of his Reign , but invaded the Liberties and Prop●rties of his Subjects , should be so confident as to deny it . But whatever , through the frailty of his memory , he had till then forgot , he was resolv'd , it seems , for the future , to make amends for his omission . To which purpose he was now provided with such a Gunpowder-Plot , that had it taken effect , would , ere a few Months had gone about , have blown up all the Properties of the whole Clergy of England , without exception of any person that had either Honour or Conscience ; and the greatest part of the Bishopricks and Livings of England would have been pronounc'd void , to make way for Sandals and shaved Crowns . This was that cunning Declaration for Liberty of Conscience , whereby he undertook to dispense with the Laws by the sole vertue of his Prerogative . An attempt wherein his Brother had miscarried , being forc'd to surrender up , and Cancel the Illegal Contrivance he had prepar'd for a Tryal . But King Iames puffed up with the great Exploits he had in person perform'd upon Honslow-Heath , and the Glorious shew his Army made there , Rendezvouz'd at the same time in the same place , to add terror to his Commands , resolv'd to make all Opposition bow the Knee to Baal . In pursuance of those Resolutions , he Orders his Declaration to be printed , requires the Bishops to cause it to be distributed through all their Diocesses , and to take care that it should be read in all the Churches and Chappels throughout the Nation . Upon this the Bishops Petition the King , setting forth the Illegality , and the ill Consequences of it to the whole Nation both in Church and State ; and beg the King not to insist upon the Reading it . This so incens'd Peters and the rest of the furious Hotspurs , and consequently provok'd the King to that degree , That the Court-Lawyers are presently consulted , who adjudge the Petition Tumultuary and Libellous ; and thereupon the Archbishop of Canterbury , together with the Bishops of Asaph , Ely , Chichester , Bath and Wells , Peterborough , and Bristol , are first sent to the Tower , and then Arraign'd and Tried for Mutineers against the King's Popish Government , being Charg'd with an Information for Publishing a Seditious , Pernicious , and Scandalous Libel . But notwithstanding all that the King's Council , and the C. J. Wright , and Alibone the Papist could do , Judge H●lloway , and Judge Powel , to their Eternal praise , stuck so close to their Protestant Principles , and so strongly oppos'd the King's Dispensing Power , for which they were turn'd out the next day , that the Bishops were acquitted , to the general Joy and Satisfaction of the whole Nation ; and particularly of the Soldiers upon Honslow-Heath , whose Shouts and Acclamations upon the News of their Acquittal , were so harsh and unpleasant in the King's ear , that from thence forward he began to wish he had more Irish , and fewer English in his Army . But notwithstanding this Fatal Blow , the most undaunted High Commissioners drove on furiously , sending forth their Mandates to the Chancellors , Archdeacons , &c. of the several Diocesses , to send them an exact account of all such Ministers as had refus'd to Read the Declaration . And there is no question to be made , but that the severity of that Imperious Court would in a short time have swept the Kingdom clear of all the Protestant Clergy , had not indulgent Heaven put a stop to their impetuous Career . That which follows , is so Romantick , that it looks more like a Novel , than a Story fit to gain Credit , hardly carrying so much Probability with it , as the Fable of Bacchus , cut out of Iupiter's Thigh ; and which looks more Romantick than all the rest ; That the King himself should believe , and urge it for an Argument to delude the World , That he who had suffer'd so much for Conscience sake , could not be capable of so great a Villany to the prejudice of his Children ; and inforcing the same Argument yet further , by saying , That it was his Principle , to do as he would be done by ▪ and therefore would rather dye a thousand Deaths , than do the least Wrong to his Children . When the World was convinced , that he could not have suffered such an Affront to have been put upon him , but for the very Reason he alledged ; and that , as for his doing as he would be done by , it was apparent by all his Actions , that he could not speak those Words from his Heart , without some Mental Expositions reserved to himself . Certainly therefore , since it was for the Preservation of the Roman Catholick Religion , that the Contrivance was set on foot , it argues , that his Conscience was under the most dreadful Subjection to his Popish Confessors , or that his Zeal was no less strangely govern'd by an imperious Woman , that for the sake of Popery , he should consent to a Conspiracy against his own Flesh and Blood. He would not endure to be Excluded from the Succession , but he would Exclude his own Daughters from the Succession , and yet tell us , 't is his Principle , To do as he would be done by ; as if he thought the way to make us credit a Story of his Son , were to tell an untruth of himself . The World that grows Wiser every day than other , will never be made believe , that a Person debilitated by the unfortunate Effects of the exasperated Revenge of an injured Bed , and meeting with a Consort no less infirm , by whom he never had before any Child , but what dropt into the Grave , as soon as Born , not having any substantial Rafters for Life to build upon , should so seasonably nick it , to be both the Parents of a sound Off-spring for the preservation of Popery . She , who ought to have taken all advantages to have had publick and undeniable Testimonies of her Glory , to be the Mother of a Prince , so providentially sent from Heaven , to Support and Establish the Roman Catholick Faith , in a Revolted Kingdom , would never have been so reserv'd , and shy of exposing the Symptomes of her pregnance , but only to a few that were privy to the Imposture . Add to this , the Flight of the Midwife , in whom it never could be a Crime to bring a Queen to Bed. But omitting the manifold Circumstances , sufficiently already canvassed , to detect the Pious Fraud ; and the Chyrum of Affidavits to cover the Cheat , all brought upon the publick Stage , by dire constraint on the one side , and immodest Bigottry on the other ; the unhappy occasion of revealing the Arcana of Generation to every Turnspit , and serving only to inflame the desires of wanton Youth ; Omitting , I say , these Circumstances , there are others , no less remarkable of another Nature ; as the sending Castlemain to Rome , among other things , to impart this Affair to his Holiness , and to know whether the Apostolick See would stand by the pretended Prince , in case the People should dispute his Title . And this seems to be confirmed by the coming over of Count Dada , in the Quality of the Pope's Nuntio , just as the Farce was contriving , and the Popes being afterwards Godfather to the Child . In the next place , about the time that the Conception was pretended , Father Peters was taken into the Privy Council ; to give the Report all the Favour imaginable at the Board , to prevent the being of it Contested , or if it were , to satisfie all manner of Doubts , and so incite the Lords to make such Orders , as the Case required ; which had no● been so proper for the King , or the rest of the Popish Lords , who knew not so well what to insist upon . Another thing was , that the Child was no sooner Born , but it was translated to Richmond , lest the pretended Mother should have been put to the Trouble of a forced Fondness , which had the Child continued with her , would have prov'd a part so irksome , and so ●ll for her to act , that notice would have been taken of it . Nor was it less observable , that at the same time the Bishops were lock'd up safe , that they might be out of the way of being called for Witnesses , whose Impartiality otherwise would have been desiring more satisfaction to their Consciences , than the depth of the Mystery requir'd . To which may be added , That at first , the King himself , who had most Reason to know , did not seem to give Credit to the thing , or at least , was very doubtful of it ; and therefore , when the News was first brought him , as one that rather wish'd it true , than thought it to be real ; he made answer to the Messenger , If it were so , 't was very odd ; till finding that the Lady of Loretto would take Bribes , and had espoused the blessed Design , he was bound to believe , that his Mother-in-Law's Prayers , and the Diamond Bodkin had prevail'd ; and that his Royal Consort had been impregnated by an Apparition , like the Mother of Damaratus , King of Sparta . However , it was look'd upon all over Europe , as a very low and mean Condescention of a Soveraign Prince , Hedge-Sparrow like , to hatch the Cuckoo's Egg , and own the supposititious Issue of another Man ; which they , who pretend to make the best Excuse for , seem willing to believe proceeded more from Fear than Conscience ; in regard , that being privy to the many Conspiracies of the Priests and Jesuits against his Brother's Life , it possessed him with such a dread of their Popish Mercy , that he yielded to whatever they desir'd , for his own Preservation . On the other side , the Priests and Jesuits were so terribly afraid of a Revolution after his Death ; that by the Power of his imperious Queen , and their own Importunities , they hurried him on to all those Impolitick Exorbitances , that hastened both their own and his Ruin. For now the Nation , no longer able to brook such a deluge of illegal Oppressions , and the whole Body of the Nobility and Gentry of the Kingdom , observing such a general Desolation impending upon their Religion , Lives , and Fortunes , apply themselves to their Hignesses the Princess and Prince of Orange , as the only Cherubims on Earth , under whose Wings they could retire for Safety and Protection . Who no sooner , with a Generosity becoming a true Defender of the Protestant Faith , appear'd in their Defence , but Consternation seized King Iames and all his Raving Counsellors . Upon the first News of the Heroic Prince's Preparations , he takes off the Bishop of London's Suspension , restores the City-Charter , with all those other Franchises which had been so tempestuously ravish'd from other Corporations , and returns the Ejected Gentlemen of both Universities to the Freeholds which he had wrested out of their hands . But yet to shew how firm he was in his Resolutions to resume the same Despotic Power again , had his Success once answer'd his Expectations ; after he had order'd the Bishop of Winchester to put in the Fellows of Maudlin College , he no sooner heard of the Prince's being put back by storm , with some small Loss , which was heightned out of Policy in Holland , but he recall'd his Orders to the Bishop , sent for him to London , and stopt the Re-admission of the Fellows , till he heard the Prince was again Embark'd and prosperously bending his Course for England . So soon as he heard the Prince was Landed , he summons his Affidavit Lords and Ladies about him , in hopes to have sworn his pretended Son into the Succession , in case of any Miscarriage of his own Person , which he never intended to indanger . After that he flew to Salisbury , believing the Terror of his Name would have gain'd him present Victory . But not meeting the good Fortune he expected , all he did there , was to discourage his Soldiers with his Pusillanimous Fears and Frights upon every little Allarm of a Post-Boy . So that altho he had good Counsel given him , To Horse all his Foot , and fall upon the Enemy while they were yet labouring under the inconveniencies of the Sea , and before their Numbers increased , he rejected it ▪ unless he might keep his Teagues about him , and expose the English to the usual dangers of Road beaters . Which together with their unwillingness to engage the Deliverers of their Country , so alienated their hearts from him , that they deserted him by Troops and Regiments . Desponding at this and more terrified with a little bleeding at the Nose , than he had been with all the Innocent Blood which he had caus'd to be spilt , he returns back to London , and having sent his Queen and her Babe before , which was sufficient Warning for Dada , Peters , and the rest to provide for themselves , he withdrew from the City ; but being taken , rifled , and seiz'd by the Country People near Feversham before they knew him , he was brought back to Whitehall , where having his Choice given him to stay in England , or go beyond Sea , he rather chose by a voluntary departure , to abdicate the Realm . To which he was advis'd by his Council , that assur'd him , The Distractions of the Kingdom would make way for his Return in a little time ; Which God forbid ! And thus , to the surprize of all men , came to pass a Revolution so Sudden , so Great , and Unexpected , that History cannot parallel . It seem'd a Labyrinth of Providence , to which the Belov'd of Heaven WILLIAM HENRY only had the Clue ; while Prudence and Fortitude were the Ariadnes that gave him their Assistance to subdue the Minotaur that devoured our Religion and Liberties . Two conspicuous Examples at once of Heaven's Indignation , and the Almighty's Favour ; the one pursuing to his downfal an Apostate from God , and an Oppressor of his People , and exposing him among unbelieving Bog-trotters upon the lingring death-bed of his gasping Glory , the fetter'd Vassal of his once fawning Confederate . The other prospering with Miracles of Success , the Generous Redeemer of the True Reformed Religion , from the devouring Jaws of that double-headed Monster , Popery and Slavery ; By whose Auspicious Conduct two late languishing Kingdoms , groaning under the heavy weight of Misery and Tyranny , enjoy a Jubilee of Peace and Tranquility , and freed from the daily fears of Massacre and Destruction , in the fair way to recover their Pristin Glory , have now no more to do , but to repay their Praises to Heaven , and their due Acknowledgments to Them that have approv'd themselves the truly Indulging Father and Mother of their Country : A Prince , the Wonder of His Age ; a Princess , the Miracle of Her Sex ; in whom all Virtues , as in their proper Center meet ; rendring the Nation happy in Two in One , as the whole World is blest in Three in One ; and upon whom , next under Heaven , depend the hopes of all that cordially desire the Welfare and Prosperity of Christendom . FINIS . 
A42086	----	A late voyage to Constantinople containing an exact description of the Proportis and Hellespont, with the Dardanels, and what else is remarkable in those seas, as also of the city of Constantinople ... : likewise an account of the ancient and present state of the Greek Church, with the religion and manner of worship of the Turks, their ecclesiastical government, their courts of justice, and civil employments : illustrated ... in fourteen copper-plates ... / published by command of the French King by Monsieur William Joseph Grelot ; made English by J. Philips. Relation nouvelle d'un voyage de Constantinople. English Grelot, Guillaume-Joseph, b. ca. 1630. 1683 Approx. 469 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 156 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A42086 Wing G1934 ESTC R5793 12271060 ocm 12271060 58243 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A42086) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 58243) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 186:10) A late voyage to Constantinople containing an exact description of the Proportis and Hellespont, with the Dardanels, and what else is remarkable in those seas, as also of the city of Constantinople ... : likewise an account of the ancient and present state of the Greek Church, with the religion and manner of worship of the Turks, their ecclesiastical government, their courts of justice, and civil employments : illustrated ... in fourteen copper-plates ... / published by command of the French King by Monsieur William Joseph Grelot ; made English by J. Philips. Relation nouvelle d'un voyage de Constantinople. English Grelot, Guillaume-Joseph, b. ca. 1630. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. [15], 243, [13] p. : ill., port., plans Printed by John Playford, and are to be sold by Henry Bonwicke ..., London : 1683. Translation of: Relation nouvelle d'un voyage de Constantinople. Advertisements: p. [9]-[13] at end. Reproduction of original in Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. 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Marmara, Sea of (Turkey) Istanbul (Turkey) -- Description and travel. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MAHOMET the Fourth , the present and Thirteenth EMPEROUR of the TURKS . 1683. A LATE VOYAGE TO Constantinople : CONTAINING An exact DESCRIPTION of the Propontis and Hellespont , with the Dardanels , and what else is remarkable in those Seas ; as also of the City of Constantinople , wherein is particularly describ'd the Grand Seraglio and chief Mosquees . LIKEWISE An Account of the Ancient and present State of the GREEK CHVRCH ; WITH The Religion and Manner of Worship of the TVRKS , their Ecclesiastical Government , their Courts of Iustice , and civil Employments . Illustrated with curious and exact Draughts of the Hellespont , Propontis , Constantinople , the Seraglio , Sancta Sophia , and other chief Mosquees , with the several Postures of the Turks during Prayer-time ; in Fourteen Copper-Plates . The exactness whereof is attested by several famous Travellers . The like never done before . Published by Command of the French King , by Monsieur William Ioseph Grelot . Made English by I. Philips . London , Printed by Iohn Playford , and are to be sold by Henry Bonwicke at the Red-Lyon in St. Paul's Church-yard , 1683. THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER . Courteous Reader , THough many Travellers have written Books on this Subject , yet I assure thee none ever came into the world with more Authority than that of this Author . He had the general Approbation of the Learned Travellers of France , some whereof , ( and those of most note ) were pleased publickly to testify to the World the faithfulness and exactness of the Author in his Descriptions , and Delineations ; so that with Monsieur Galand , when you have your eye upon the Draughts in this Book , you may fancy you see the Originals themselves . The King of France was so pleased with these Draughts , that he commanded the Author to make them publick , and gave him his Letters Patents , strictly forbidding any to invade his propriety , by copying them after him . Monsieur Grelott has chiefly herein avoided what has been often repeated by other Travellers , and set down such remarkable things as were omitted by them , so that you will find many things in this Book ( besides his excellent Draughts ) very worthy observation , not to be found any where else . The discoursive part is very pleasant , as well as learned , intermingled with many pretty stories ; from which ( if you delight in Books of this kind ) you cannot but receive much satisfaction ; which is the desire of Your Servant , J. P. THE AUTHOR'S EPISTLE TO HIS Most Christian Majesty . TO THE KING . SIRE , ONe would believe that a Traveller who returns from the East should not present to your Majesty other than Pearls and Diamonds . Nor should I my self have been so presumptuous , as onely to lay at your feet some few Draughts which I have drawn during my being abroad , had not those favourable Glances which you were pleased to cast upon them , embolden'd me to make them a publick Offering to your goodness . Sir , I know well that such a poor present as this is altogether unworthy of so great a Monarch , to whose acceptance not all Persia nor the Indies can afford any thing considerable . However seeing that Prince who thought the whole Universe below his thoughts , vouc●saf'd to accept the Feathers of a dead Bird , which could not be brought him alive , I am in hopes that your Majesty , nol ●ss exalted for your indulgent goodness , than for the Grandeur of your Actions above Alexander , will permit me to give you a Prospect of those places which you know how to subdue when ever you are pleas'd to employ your Victorious Arms in such a Glorious enterprize . Doubtless , Sir , the Inhabitants of those Cities , which these Sketches represent , full of the far extending Fame of Lewis the Great , would esteem themselves happy to live under the easy Dominion of a Soveraign , whom they have reason to look upon as the first and greatest Monarch of the Universe . Your Majesty would be there most assuredly acknowledged with all submission imaginable , and I at the same time should be overjoy'd to have discover'd through my pains whatever is at this day most observable and most worthy your protection . It being the only aime , which I always propos'd to my self , to make known to the world that I am with a most profound respect , SIRE , Your Majesties most humble , most obedient , and most faithful Subject , and Servant , GRELOT . TO THE READER . SO many Relations of the Levant have been publish'd to the World , and the curious have been so well satisfy'd in what concerns that part of the Earth , that a man does but expose him self to censure , who shall presume to believe he makes any thing now publick that is not already sufficiently known . So that all the modern relations of the Eastern Travellers being no more than repetitions , I deferr'd some years after my return to publish what I had done , for no other reason , than to preserve the Ideas of the most remarkable things which I had seen in my Travells . I observ'd in all the Relations which I read , that the chiefest part of the remarks which I had made , were almost the same with what several famous Travellers had done before me , and that therefore I should run the hazard of being look'd upon as a Copier , or a Plagiarie from others . But at length finding that none of all the numerous Relations which have appear'd in the world have afforded so much as one Draught or faithful Plate of what is here describ'd , I resolv'd for the satisfaction of several that have honour'd me with their friendship , to cause some of the Platforms and Draughts which I had taken in the East to be Engrav'd . And I make no question but all the Figures , which make the best part of this book , and upon which the whole discourse is grounded , will suffice to satisfy those who have not had the leisure or desire to read what other Taavellers have written ; as also those who have already read in some Relations the description of the same places , who not being able by means of the discourse to apprehend the design of the Building , would perhaps be glad to have before their eyes the faithful Draughts of the Platforms , Elevations and out-lines of all thos● beautiful Piles , of which they have heard such high reports . By the means of these Plates all sorts of persons in a short time may without hazard , and to advantage satisfy their curiosity . They will be able to understand more of Constantinople after they have perus'd the few leaves of this small Volume , than from those who at a great expence of Mony and pains have in large Folio's delivered to publick view , notions quite contrary to truth . I do not say that so many famous Travellers who have view'd the East before me , and put forth so great a number of Relations , have wanted language or expression to embellish their Writings ▪ They are all worthy praise for what they have done , nor do I believe that any Traveller would willingly at the expence of his reputation impose upon his Readers . Yet this is certain , that large Volumes in Writing do not always give that satisfaction to the apprehension , as the draught of the same thing faithfully and exactly made and Engrav'd , which explains several doubts not to be easily resolv'd by words alone . Which was the reason that I resolv'd to describe nothing without an addition of the Draught at the same time , as being like the Seal affix'd to Letters Patents to make them more Authentick . Besides , that the most famous Travellers in Paris have done me the favour to give me their attestations of the fidelity and exactness of the Draughts . Their approbations made several persons of great Learning and high quality desirous to see them ; among whom , some having done me the favour to inform our Great Monarch what I had done , His Majesty was not only pleas'd to do me the honour to take a view of some of my Draughts , but was also pleas'd to command me to go on and to bring them to him perfect . After such an Approbation , I hope no persons will take it amiss , that without putting 'em to the trouble of stirring out of their Closets , I shew them so great a part of the Glories of the East . From whence it happens ●hat the Cities , the Inhabitants , the Edifices , ●hanging their Nature , come of their own ac●ord to surrender themselvs up to your view , ●nd to inform you in your own studies , by my means of their most noble Ornaments , more amply and perspicuously than if your selves had made an examination upon the place . Not that I question your abilities or fidelity , but that you would have been no less wise than others , who not caring to expose themselves to the dangers that accompany attempts of this nature in Turkie , you would have return'd home again , content with the sight alone of what you could not obtain the delineation . All Travellers will assure ye , that the perills and hazards are very great to those that make attempts of this nature ; no less than the risc of life , or Religion ; dangers which you are no way forc'd to adventure upon , while your Information comes easie , at the expences of another mans Travels . I begin with the Rarities belonging to Constantinople , the Inletts into that City , otherwise call'd the Hellespont and Dardanells , together with the Propontis . Next follows the Beautiful situation of the Haven , the Grand Serraglio , the famous Temple of Sancta Sophia , with the Draughts of its Platform , inside and outside , the great difficulty a Christian has to get entrance into this Mosquee , may assure you of the exactness of the Draughts , besides that my habit , beard , and knowledge of the Language gave me frequent access to places were others could not have admission , which failing I made the best use of my wits , and forc'd my way with presents ; so that those places were to be very well guarded indeed , that I could not come at , as well to draw , as when I had done , to compare my Draughts afterwards with the Original . To these I have added the Figures of the three fairest Mosquees in Constantinople , and the Postures which the Turks observe at their Prayers . 'T is true , I have here made publick but a few of what I have Collected together during my six years Travells ; yet if these shall be so successful as to please the publick , I make no question but to produce a larger number of other parts of the Eastern world where I have been . To which purpose I hope the Ingenious will give that encouragement to this small Essay , as that the rest may follow . And indeed it may in some measure deserve to be the more taken notice of , in regard of the honourable approbations of so many learned men that accompany it . Who have not only favour'd me with the following Attestations , but some of them have also done me the Honour to assure His Majesty of my fidelity and exactness , at what time he was pleas'd to ask me whether I had added nothing of my own invention . THE ATTESTATIONS OF Several famous Travellers into the Eastern Parts , touching the exactness of the Draughts and Delineations of Monsieur Grelot . The Attestation of Monsieur Marchant , Director of the Royal Garden of Plants . I Do certifie that all the Draughts which the Sieur Grelot hath taken of the Mosquees and other Edi●●ces , are very exact , and conformable to what I have seen upon the place . Marchant . The Attestation of Monsieur Blondel , Marshal of the Camp in the Kings Armies , and Mathematick Master to Monsieur the Dauphin . I Could hardly beleive , considering how difficult a thing it is to obtain leave to take the Draughts of some ●laces in the East , that any person could have drawn ●uch Platforms , Elevations and Out-lines , so exactly as ●hose which are done by Monsieur Grelot , as well in this Book as in other places ; but in regard all the Sketches and Draughts which he has taken in his Travells appear to me to be so exact , according to the best remembrance of what I have seen , I thought my self oblig'd to testify so much to all those that shall see them , that they need not fear to give credit to them , as being most faithfully done . Blondel . The Attestation of Monsieur Bernier , Doctor in Physick . IT were to be wish'd , that all who had Travell'd into Foreign Countries , had made as good use of their time as Monsieur Grelot , the Designs which he has made publick in this book , and others which he has shew'd me of other parts where I have been , sufficiently demonstrate what an exact observer he has been of things most worthy remark ; such as are the Platforms and Delineations of those places to which it is no easy thing to get access . And therefore beleiving my self oblig'd to do him that Iustice which he deserves , I do assure the world , that all the Representations of the Draughts which he has made , are all exactly conformable to what I remember of the places themselves . F. Bernier . The Attestation of Mr. Covel an English Gentleman . MR. William Joseph Grelot , whom I familiarly knew , while we both resided in Constantinople , shew'd me at Paris certain Draughts , delineated with his own hand , of the Cities of Constantinople , Galata , Scutari ; as also of Sancta Sophia , and some other Mosquees erected by the Turkish Emperours . Therefore that I may not be wanting in the duty of a friend , or asserting the truth , I am bound to confess , that I know not well how sufficiently to extoll the Ingenuity , Industry and Diligence of the person ; for I must acknowledge , that all his Draughts , as far as I am able to judge , are most exactly and accurately done . All which I attest , John Covel . The Attestation of Monsieur Galand , Antiquarie and Interpreter of the Eastern Languages . I Should be very unjust , should I refuse Monsieur Grelot my approbation of those excellent Delineations which he is now making publick to the world . He has so well represented to the life those places which I have seen in Constantinople , in the Archipelago , in Cyprus , and in Syria , that casting my eyes upon his delineations of some other places where I have not been , I am apt to believe that I see the Originals themselves . Galand . A LATE VOYAGE TO CONSTANTINOPLE . FOR a Gentleman to travel to Constantinople , and to view the adjacent Countries , is certainly one of the most pleasing Diversions that may be , and which furnishes a man with Observations the most admirable , while he beholds what Nature offers to his Eyes the most charming that can be imagin'd , in the delectable situation of Places , and what Time has left , in beautiful Ruins , of the Magnificence and Grandeur of the Eastern Emperours . They who have this Curiosity , whether with an intention to pass farther , or to set up their Hercules Pillars in this City , are first to understand where most conveniently to take Shipping ; which is most usually to be done either at Marseilles , Ligorn , or Venice , unless they design to travel by Land. Above all things let them be sure to provide Money for their Expences , and Bills of Exchange for a Supply ; without which , there is nothing to be done . And while a Man stays a Ship-board , he will find no false Latin in a good warm Coat , a good Quilt and Coverlet , a Glass of brisk Wine , a Case of good Waters , and some change of fresh Diet. For all which Accommodations , they who desire not to be troubled with so much Luggage , may agree to be supply'd by the Master of the Ship , which may be done for twenty five or thirty Crowns at most . The first place through which there is a necessity to sail , is the Streight of the Dardanels , hither you arrive by steering several Courses , after you have left behind you , as well upon the right as left hand , those Islands which are called Cyclades and Sporades , as being scatter'd up and down in that part of the Egean Sea which bears the name of Archipelago , by the Seamen vulgarly stil'd the Arches . I shall say nothing of all those Islands , though I have both seen and taken the Draughts of most of them , it being my design to speak only of what relates to Constantinople , to which the Dardanels are as it were the Gates that give an Entrance . Of the Hellespont and the Dardanels . THis famous Streight , which is otherwise call'd the Hellespont , lies in the 37 th degree and 42 minutes of Northern Latitude , and of Longitude about the 55 th . It extends not in length above ten or twelve Leagues at most . At the Entrance it is in breadth a good League and a half . To the Westward upon the left hand as ye enter , you behold the Country of Thrace , which is a part of Europe , divided by the Hellespont from Troas , a Province of Asia , that lies to the East . To the North lies the Propontis , and to the South the Egean Sea with the Archipelago . At the Entrance of this Streight , upon the right hand , the Sygean Promontory runs out into the Sea by the name of Cape Ianisary , near to which stands a little Village inhabited by Christian Greeks . The Turks call it Giaourkioi , or the Village of the Infidels ; it being the name which they generally give to all places where there are no Mosquees . It is situated near to the place where stood in former times the famous City of Sygeum , and by the People of the Country is call'd Troïaki , or Little Troy. Here a Traveller may take in store of good Refreshments and excellent Provision , as Hens , Eggs , Partridge , Rice , Butter , Melons , Fruit , and all so very cheap , that you may buy a Quarter of a hundred of Eggs for four or five Aspers , which is no more than two Sols and six Blanks of French Money ; and a dozen of Hens or Pullets for half a Piaster , which is not above 30 Sols French. The Water also is there very good and well tasted ; but that is not all ; for the Island of Tenedos that produces most excellent Muscadine Wines is not above a League distance , and where you may have it for little or nothing , a whole Hogshead for a Crown . From the top of this Cape or Promontory you may take a full prospect of all the lovely Country of Troas , together with the Rivers of Xanthus or Scamander , and Simois , both taking their Sources and falling from the famous Mountain Id● . Both which Rivers are much more beholding for their Reputation to the ancient Poets , than to the bulk of their own Streams , as being no bigger than that of the Gobelins at Paris . Sometimes in the Summer they are quite dry'd up ; but at other times both uniting on the place where Troy stood , and there surrounding a great Marsh or Fen , they glide away under a wooden Bridge , supported with Stone Pillars , and so empty themselves into the Hellespont some half a League above this Cape , not far from the new Castle of Asia . The Turks who never were addicted themselves to Liberal Arts , have made it their business rather to ruin and pull down the Monuments of Antiquity , than to erect new and sumptuous Fabricks according to the strict Rules of Architecture . So that 't is no wonder , while they so openly profess their ignorance in this particular , that there should appear so much deformity and irregularity in this new Castle of Asia , and that which is opposite to it in Europe , or that there is to be seen the same defect in all their other Castles and Fortresses which they have occasion to build . This Castle is seated upon a Tongue of Land pointing out into the Sea , upon a square Platform compos'd of four large Panes of Walls , flank'd at the four Corners with Towers ; of which , those two next the Sea are square , with a sort of Redoubt only upon one side ; the other two toward the Land are quite round . Between these four Towers there are five others , of which , four are also square , and one round , which defend the Walls , but neither in thickness , bigness , or distance , one like the other . As for those which are wash'd by the Sea , they are furnish'd with Port-holes that lie level with the surface of the Water , as also with their Curtins and Platforms . I told above forty of these well provided with Cannon , always mounted and continually charg'd , ready to play upon any Enemy that will run the hazard of adventuring into the Harbour by force . But notwithstanding all this Expence and Cost bestow'd upon these Castles , there is no such necessity for a Royal Navy to fear the force of that Battery , should a good occasion present it self to try the utmost of its Fury . For all the Cannons which are within , are mounted only upon Stones or great pieces of square Timber , without Frames or Carriages . So that being once discharg'd , they will require a long time to charge and mount 'em again . In which interval of Time , it would be no diffcult thing with two or three thundering Broadsides to lay the inconsiderable Wall of the Castle level with the Earth , it not being above three foot in thickness , or beat it about the Ears of the Soldiers and Cannoneers . By which means the Castles so made useless , would soon be taken by Storm or Surrender . The way to this Castle is from the North , ( and joyns at the end of a Street to a very fair Mosquee which stands on the South side not far from the Shoar ) from whence you may very plainly discern the Duomo and the Tower of the Temple . Between this new Castle which the Turks call Natoli-inghi-issar , and Cape Ianisary , there lies to the North-east , a small Village or Borough , which carries the name of Inghi-issar-kioi , that is to say , the Borough of Newcastle . There is nothing considerable that belongs to it , only the prospect of eight Windmills that stand all arow as you walk to the Sygean Promontory . Every one of these Mills are turn'd by eight Vanes , as is usual all over Turkie : Which is certainly done , to the end the Mills may have greater force to bruise and grind the Husk of the Grain , which causes the Flower to yield very little Bran , and is the reason also that the Bread which the Turks eat is nothing so white as ours , because there passes so much of the thin-ground Bran through the Bolter among the Flower . And here now might I take occasion to talk of Achilles , and several others of the Grecian Captains that were interr'd upon this Promontory , as also to make a description of the Ruins of the so much renown'd Ilium , of which the unfortunate Remains are to be discover'd not only upon Cape Sygeum , but also in the Sea it self , and the Iland of Tenedos . But because several Travellers have prevented me , I shall say no more than only this : That if we consider how long it has been since the Ruin of this great City of Troy , and the prodigious quantity of Pillars and other Marble Pieces which the Christian and Turkish Emperours residing in Constantinople made use of out of these Ruinous Heaps for Materials to build their Churches , Mosquees , Palaces , Baths , and other public Structures , and then consider likewise the vast Remains that still are left behind in broken pieces of Corinthian Architecture , we may certainly affirm , that Troy was one of the fairest , richest , and largest Cities of its time . 'T is true , that the greatest part of those Ruins which now are to be seen , may be thought to be later than the Destruction of the Grecian Flames , in regard that the Roman Emperours , and Augustus among the rest , sent several Colonies to renew the Pristine Glory of their Foster City , out of kindness to the first Original of the Roman Grandeur ; but we are not thence to conclude , that it ever arriv'd at that Pomp and Magnificence wherein it flourish'd in the days of the Unfortunate Priam. Nor was that Restauration of any long continuance , seeing that in Lucan's time it was the same that now it is above sixteen hundred Years ago , as he himself testifies in the following Lines . Iam Sylvae steriles , & putres Robore trunci Assaraci pressere Domos , & Templa Deorum Iam lassa Radice tenent , ac tota teguntur Pergama dumetis . Now barren Woods and Oaks with Age decay'd , Assaracus's Palaces o'respread , The God's own Temples by their Roots fast bound , With Pergamum , lie cover'd under ground . In short , the place where formerly stood that famous City , is now overgrown with Bushes and Brambles , spreading themselves among the Ruins that lye upon the descent of the Hill , which seems to have been the chiefest and best inhabited part of ancient Troy. This place is distant from the Sea , where in ancient Times was the Haven which belong'd to Troy , about a good League of bad way among Briers and Thorns . If any Traveller should be so happy as to meet in any of the Tombs which he shall find as he goes along , or in any other part of the Ruins of this great City , a certain Greek Manuscript , entitl'd ▪ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The Golden Compendium , or the ancient Book of the Kikanides , he would highly oblige the Commonwealth of Learning , by making it public to the World. For a certain Author assures us , that this Book lies buried in a certain Tomb within the City of Troy , together with the Bones of her first King Kicanis . For my own part I never could find it , and therefore left the search of it to some other person more fortunate than my self . And indeed I must confess , that I never beheld the Ruins of Troy , which I have done now four times over , but still it perplexes me , that I could never yet be able to discover the least Inscription or Monument of Antiquity , which might afford me the least light into any particular of its being taken , or its ancient Splendour , but that I was still forc'd to go away with the same Exclamation of the Greek Poet : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Alas ! alas ! the unfortunate Foundation of the heretofore most happy Asian Land. Seldom any person goes to view the Ruins of Troy , but he also crosses over to the Island of Tenedos , which lies just opposite against it . This Island is very pleasant and delectable to those that love good Wine , and delight in Hawking or Shooting , for there is great store of Wild-fowl , and plenty of Muscadel , and other excellent Wines . The Harbour is not very considerable , only for small Turkish Vessels or Saicques ; but for Ships of any greater force or burthen , it is no way fit to receive them . However as bad as the Harbour is , yet the Island might be of great use for the erecting a strong Arsenal and a good Magazine , to put a curb upon the Hellespont , the Propontis , and Thracian Bosphorus , and to preserve the Dominion of the Archipelago . During the stay which I made in this Island , two French Tartans came to an Anchor in the Road. For the same fowl weather that had caus'd the Saicque or Turkish Vessel , wherein I was a Passenger from Smyrna to Constantinople , to put into Tenedos , oblig'd the French-men to seek the same shelter . Stopping at this Port , some of the French Officers came ashore to refresh themselves , and were directed by a Greek that spoke Italian to the House where I was . They found me sitting at Table with a young Turk , who was also a Passenger in the same Vessel with my self , and not so scrupulous as others of his Religion in the business of drinking Wine , especially when he met with so good , as was that of Tenedos . However by reason of my Eastern Habit , my long Beard , and because I also discours'd in Turshish with my Ioldache , or Fellow-traveller , the French-men little thought me to be their Country-man , and that I understood every word they said . Thereupon they talk'd freely one to another , and at length discoursing over their Cups , they began to fall upon the Turkish and Grecian Women , as well in Tenedos , as in all the other Islands of the Archipelago . For a while I said not a word to them , but kept talking on with my Turk : 'Till at last quite tir'd with hearing their extravagant Raillery occasion'd by the Wine , I could forbear no longer . And therefore faigning my self a Turk , only that I had been in France in the Train of Mustapha Aga , who was return'd about a year before , I told 'em in downright French , and like one that was somewhat angry withall , That 't was a sign they were French-men , and had drank hard to talk so boldly and impudently as they did , and to reproach and abuse our Women even to our faces , and in our own Country . Know Gentlemen , said I , that both by Reason and Custom they are much more reserv'd than yours . And though there may be some who perhaps may think bad enough , yet there is such good Order taken throughout this Empire , that they are depriv'd thereby of the opportunity to act . They seldom stir out of Doors , and they seldom are seen at any public Meetings or Assemblies . If sometimes they are permitted to go to their Devotions , they walk with their Faces vail'd , not daring to speak to any Man they meet ; whereas the French Ladies make no scruple to march alone with a single Gallant , and admit him to tell Stories by their Bed-sides . And therefore , continu'd I , be not so rash another time to make such hard Censures upon such a ticklish point ; for had I not a more than ordinary kindness for your Nation , I would soon let you understand the Power I have to reform your Judgments , and reduce ye from those wild and inconsiderate Errors into which the Wine has plung'd ye , and learn ye to descant so idly upon a Truth which ye have so little examin'd . Never were People more surpriz'd than these persons were , so that I am apt to believe , had not the Wine inspir'd 'em with more than ordinary Courage , the threatning Language which I gave them would have caus'd them to have made hast back to their Vessels . However , I could perceive they sat very uneasie , 'till I my self believing I had kept 'em long enough in suspence , deliver'd them out of their bodily Fears , by first drinking the King's Health , and then informing them , that I was both their Country-man and Friend , and that the Turkish Habit which I wore , was only such as I was forc'd to wear to gain me freer and more easie passage in my Travels to and fro . And so the Frolick ended in a Glass or two of Wine more , 'till we had empty'd an Ocque of Muscadine , containing about three Chiopins or French Quarts . The next night the Wind chopping about , we weigh'd Anchor by break of day , and left the Island of Tenedos , of which I shall make no farther description , in regard the Plate which I have made of it , is too large for this Volume . Having left Tenedos and doubl'd the Sygean Cape , we came between the two new Castles of Europe and Asia . One I have already describ'd , I shall now describe the other . This new Castle upon Europe side , which the Turks call Roumeli-inghi-issar , was built as well as the other opposite to it , by the present Sultan Mahomet the Fourth , the 23 d Emperour of the Turks . This haughty Potentate , being swell'd up with his Conquests , as being but feebly attack'd by his neighbouring Enemies , always believ'd , that the advantageous situation of the Dardanels was such as render'd it an Enterprize impossible to break i●to the Propontis , and that consequently the City of Constantinople was impregnably secur'd on that side . He was perswaded , as were also his Ancestors , that this same Streight of the Sea , which is the Gate of that Imperial City , was sufficiently guarded and fortifi'd by those two Castles , which the Turks esteem'd to be extreamly strong . But having been given to understand to his cost and damage , in the year 1656 , and the year following , that a bold and generous Captain stood in no fear of those Fortresses , and finding that those two magnificent Piles , for the space of somewhat more than a Twelvemonth , had rather serv'd for Theaters , to behold the total defeat of the Ottoman Navy , than as places of succour and defence against the Venetians , who fought the said Navy within reach of their Cannon , and triumph'd in their full view : Fearing therefore a second loss of the same kind , he caus'd those new Castles to be built at the entry of the Hellespont , according to the form and situation describ'd in the Draught . It will be necessary therefore , before I give any farther description of those two Fortresses , that the Reader permit me to make him a brief Relation of those two famous Actions , and the success of the Christian Arms , so fatal at that time to the Mahometans . They are proper to the subject of my Discourse , and I am the more oblig'd to make the Relation , as being engag'd in my acknowledgments to those two illustrious Persons , to whose kindnesses and company in my Travels I was so peculiarly bound , as being highly honour'd in their Affection . These were the Lords Mark and Ambrose Bembo , both Gentlemen of Venice , who have always perform'd great Exploits , and daily add to the Fame and Splendour of the noble and ancient Family of the Bembo's . The first of these two noble Venetians was General of the Gallies of the Commonwealth of Venice in this Expediton . The second is a young Gentleman his Nephew , who at the Age of eighteen years , perceiving that the leisure of the Republic in Peace could not afford him matter sufficient to exercise his active Courage , generously quitted the pleasures of a sedentary Life , and betook himself to five or six years travel over the Eastern World. And in these perils and dangers he the more readily engag'd himself , to the end , that upon his return to his Country with mature Age and well-purchas'd Experience , he might render himself the fitter for such Employments which the Senate might deem worthy his merit . I had the happiness to meet him at Hispahan , returning from the Indies , whence I also had the honour to enjoy his Company all the way into Europe . In pursuance of which Journey , we came first into Syria to his most illustrious Uncle Mark Bembo's Residence , then Embassado●r for the Republic , and so at length arriv'd at Ve●●●● , where I was shew'd in the Palace of the Bembo's the whole Expedition of the Dardanels , set forth in a large piece of Painting , and rarely well done ; and so from those who were there present , I had this account . In the heat of the War of Candy , Marcello Morosini General of the Men of War , and Marco Bembo General of the Gallies of the Republic , with Monsieur the Prior of Rochel , who commanded seven Gallies of Malta , having intelligence that the Fleet of the Turks , consisting of sixty Gallies , thirty Men of War , forty five Galiotes , eight Mahons , and several other light Vessels , was ready to set Sail from Constantinople with recruits to the Camp before Candy , they boldly sail'd away to the Dardanels to hinder the Turks from coming forth , though they had no more than twenty four Gallies , twenty eight Men of War , seven Galeasses , and some few other smaller Vessels . There they came to an Anchor , and staid in expectation of the Ottomans , for about a Month , who upon notice of their arrival , durst not stir from Gallipoli . But at length , the Captain Basha understanding that the Venetian Fleet was much inferiour to him in number of Men and strength of Ships , weary of being so long pent up within the Castles , resolv'd to weigh , and by the favour of Wind and Tide to attack the Venetians , and force his passage through their whole Body . And now the Ottoman Fleet being come under the Protection of the Dardanel Cannon , the Venetians impatient of so long a delay , made toward the Enemy , and set upon them so furiously for a whole day together , and with that success , that of all the great number of Turkish Vessels already mention'd , only fourteen could possibly save themselves , who to avoid a general loss , were forc'd to make use of all their Oars and Slaves to get under the Protection of the two old Castles , the rest being all taken or sunk before their faces . True it is that the General Marcello Morosini being too far engag'd in pursuit of the flying Ottomans , was kill'd with a Cannon Shot , having lost about three hundred of his Men. But General Marco Bembo , according to his wonted Valour and Prudence , resolv'd to take the advantage of this Success , and to revenge upon the Island of Tenedos the loss of Morosini , whose place was soon after supply'd by Lazaro Mocenigo elected in his room . These two Generals therefore knowing the important Situation of Tenedos to curb the Dardanels , and secure themselves Masters of the Archipelago , presently laid Siege to it , and carry'd it in fourteen days , and then fortifi'd it , and furnish'd it with Provisions . Nor is this the only time that the haughty Turks have been thus boldly outbrav'd upon their own Coasts . They who have read the History of Venice , or remember the War of Candy , can tell how frequently the Christian Arms have defeated the Ottoman Fleets , and taken their Ships within sight , and within the reach of these Castles . Among the rest , that exploit of General Delphino , in the year 1654. may serve for another Example , which cannot be too often repeated ; besides , that my Obligations to the most eminent Cardinal Delfino his Brother in some measure compell me to renew the Relation . This illustrious General finding himself separated by a Storm from the rest of his Fleet , with no more than four of his own Ships , met the next morning the Ottoman Navy , compos'd of thirty four great Vessels , fourteen others of less burthen , two Corsairs , forty Gallies , and six Galeasses , with which he was surrounded in an instant . This prodigious disproportion of Ships , Men , and Force , was enough to have scar'd 'em into a present Surrender , and to have daunted the Courage of any one but this undaunted Hero. However he was nothing at all astonish'd ; but on the other side encouraging his slender Squadron either to overcome or dye , he defended himself with so much prowess , and was so well seconded by Signior Iohn-Baptista de Sessa , and the rest of the Commanders of his small number , that he sunk several Vessels of the Enemy , kill'd above four thousand Turks , he boarded the Sultaness , and took her Colours from her , and at length quitted himself with Honour from the throng of his Enemies , with his four Vessels , and little loss of Men. The famous Captain Georgio Maria would certainly have done the same , had he been well seconded by those two Ships that were in his Company . But they treacherously and basely deserted him , and left him to fight all alone to the last drop , so that he deserv'd at one time the honour of having defended himself without assistance , and the reputation singly to have encounter'd the whole Ottoman Fleet. Another Venetian Corsair had set him a fair president sometime before , who singly sustain'd the fury of the whole Ottoman Fleet in the Channel of Chio , where they had surpriz'd him , and yet got clear of them all , after he had fought for five or six hours , and very much endamag'd the Enemy . But not to stop at any more of these Relations , of which an infinite number might be brought , I shall proceed to the description of the two Fortresses of the Hellespont , by which a shrewd conjecture may be made of the strength of their other Militia . These two Castles then being built after the two generous Exploits of Bembo and Mocenigo , have no more reason to terrifie a brave and resolute Commander , than if they had never been erected . They are seated one from the other at such a distance , that a Ship may easily sail betwixt them both , without any great danger of their Culverins ; they being distant the one from the other more than a League . They are both commanded by Hills , more especially that on Europe side , which is seated near to Cape Greco , for its form altogether irregular . The compass of the Walls contains certain Houses for the Aga and other Officers , with a Mosquee , of which the Domo and Steeple appear very plain to be seen , as well as the other Edifices , as being generally seated in the highest parts of the Fortification , from whence you descend by large steps to the Platforms where the Guns are Planted , which lie equal with the surface of the Water . Near to this Castle lies a small Village , remarkable for nothing ; together with five large Pilasters that serve to underprop several conveyances of Water to the Fort. You are no sooner past these two new Castles , but you come to that part of the Sea which is call'd the Hellespont , or St. Georges Arm , into which they are the Inlets . It has been always the Theater of famous Actions , which the better a Man understands the Greek , Latin , and Modern History , with the greater delight he calls this place to memory . It is a great satisfaction at one and the same time , with one glance of the Eye to behold Europe and Asia so nearly joyn'd together , as if they had a desire to embrace and unite under one and the same Conquerour , or that they did only separate there to open him a passage , and facilitate his generous Enterprises . From these new Castles which we have describ'd , 'till ye come to the Old ones , there is nothing to be set down worthy Observation at this present time . Antiquity indeed beheld the shore adorn'd with several Cities and fair Villages , whose names are now so utterly forgotten , that they are no where to be found but in History . The People of the Country , as well Greeks as Turks , are so miserably overwhelm'd with Ignorance , that 't is a vanity to ask them any Questions concerning them , or to expect from them the least accompt of the place where the unfortunate Helle was drown'd , who losing her life in passing this same Streight , at what time she fled from Colchis with her Brother Phryxus with the famous Golden Fleece , bequeath'd her Name and Life to the honour of this narrow Arm of the Sea. They know nothing of the City of Arisbe , to which Homer gives the Epithite of Divine , nor of the Promontory or Town of Raetion , where the brave Ajax was entomb'd ; being ignorant whether it were upon that Cape where now stands the new Castle of Asia , or upon that same jetty of Land near to the Mouth of Xanthus and Simois . So that you travel all this way , whether by Sea or Land 't is all one , without observing any thing remarkable ; and at length you arrive at the old Castles which the Turks call Boghase-issari , or the Castles of the Throat . The old Castle upon Asia side by the name of Natoli-iski-issar , is a square Building flank'd at the four corners with Towers , of which those that are next the Sea are four-square also , but those that look toward the Land are round . In the midst of this Castle is a large square Tower , upon whose Platform are planted several Culverins . From this same Tower was made the fatal Shot that took away the Life of Lazaro Mocenigo , at what time ( after he had giv'n a second defeat to the Turks Fleet in the year 1657 ) he was designing in spite of these Castles to have run up the Channel , and have fir'd Constantinople , had not that unfortunate blow at the same time disappointed him in the pursuit of so noble an Enterprise . Behind this Castle lies a large Village inhabited by about three thousand People , whereof some few are Christians , the rest Turks and Iews . This place is considerable for nothing but for the command of the Passage where it lies , and the most part of the great Guns lye unmounted even with the surface of the Water , like those in the new Castles . They are in number twenty eight , and carry to the other side of the opposite shoar large Stone Balls , each weighing sixty pound , as likewise do those which are planted on the other side in the European Castle , the Channel lying between these two Castles not being above half a League broad . The European Castle , which the Turks call Roumeli-iski-issar , is more irregular , and not so strong as that upon the Asiatic side . It is plac'd upon the descent of a Hill which commands it , and is compos'd of three great Towers joyn'd together in a Triangular form , resembling the shape of a Heart . These Towers are environ'd with a circuit of Walls with certain half Towers , which descend to the Harbour , where lye about thirty Cannons equal with the Water , that carry the same Bullet with those on the other side ; and they are planted obliquely , lest by shooting streight forward the two Castles should mischief one another . Most people believe , that these two Castles , and the two Towns adjoyning , are the Ruins of the two ancient Cities of Sestos and Abydos ; but in regard there are several that question the truth of it , and that it is a difficult thing to prove it , unless some curious Traveller shall hereafter discover something more convincing , I shall leave the matter undetermin'd . The Franks or Europeans who travel into Turkie , call these two Castles the Dardanels , for that Dardanus the Son of Iupiter by Electra the Daughter of Atlas was the first King of this Country , who built therein a City , which he call'd by his own name Dardanum , and the Country round about it Dardania . Virgil will have this City to be the same with Troy , so call'd by Tros the Grandchild of Dardanus , and Father of the fair Ganimed . Others assure us , that the ancient Dardanum which was built upon the Hellespont where now the Dardanels stand , retain'd its ancient name , and that the new City built upon the Xanthus and Scamander , was first call'd Dardanum , afterwards Troy or Ilium . However it were , the Inhabitants of that ancient Dardanum did not much exceed in Reputation those that now possess the Dardanels : For those formerly were accounted Magicians , according to that of Columella ; At si nulla valet Medicina repellere Pestem , Dardaniae veniant artes — But if no Physic can repell the Plague , Let then Dardanian arts be us'd — Or else such as minded nothing but their Profit , according to that of another Poet : Dardanius merces divendit carius emptas . Dardanian Wares he sells , more dearly bought . They who now inhabit those Castles are much of the same disposition , where , as in several other parts of Greece you shall find several of those old kind of Sorceresses which they call Striglais , who being addicted to all sorts of mischief in their Infancy , and despairing of any other Allurements to purchase their Love , put to sale the Affections of others , of which they falsly vaunt themselves to be the Mistresses ; or else they sell the satisfaction of their Hatred . They make use of several sorts of Witchcraft , some they call Philtra , to create Affection ; others Ecthra , to procure Hatred ; others Vaskarmiais or Phtarmiais , that deal in all sorts of Fascinations and Enchantments . These old Haggs practice after various manners , according to the mischief which they design ; and although they go to work but by night and in secret , for fear of being apprehended by the Soubachi , and thrown into the Sea with a Stone about their Necks , ty'd up in a Sack ; yet I shall here set down one remarkable passage , which was related to me by a person that liv'd upon the place concerning one of these Witches that was taken in the fact . This same Race of Circe , having a design to revenge themselves upon any one that has perhaps but given them cross language in the Street , do it in this manner . They rise about Midnight , and take three Flint Stones , over which they mumble for about half an hour certain words , which they teach to none but their Scholars . Which being done , they put the Stones in the Fire 'till they are red hot , at what time they take 'em out again to light a little Wax Candle at each , which they place upon the three feet of a three-legg'd Stool , in a kind of imitation of the Trikirion of the Greek Bishops . This done , they lay the three-legg'd Stool across upon their Heads , take up the three Flints , by this time cold , and in this Equipage forth they go into the Street where the Party lives , and being come to the first place where they find three ways to meet , they throw the three Stones into the three different passages , believing , that by the help of such words which they utter at the same time , that those Fascinations will procure the mischief they intend . Beside these , they have also a hundred other little Tricks , which they practice as well for the telling of Fortunes , as for Witchcraft , to which , as the more rational Turks give little or no credit , so are they much less worth mentioning here . As for their Trading , the most part of the Merchants in the Towns belonging to these two Castles , especially the Iews , are great gainers : For they buy cheap out of the Christian and Turkish Vessels that pass through the Channel , and sell again with considerable advantage , either upon the place , or else they carry their Markets to other Towns and Villages upon the dry Land , where they turn to good accompt . But as it is common with all Merchants to sell as dear as they can , I shall say no more concerning the Inhabitants of the Dardanels , who do no more than Castor in Martial : Omnia Castor emit ; sic fiet ut omnia vendat . Castor buyes all , and so must all things ●ell . I forgot to advertise the Reader , that when you come near these Castles by Sea , you are bound to salute 'em , by giving 'em a certain number of Guns proportionable to the Burthen and Quality of your Ship. For the Saics , in which I happen'd to be three times a Passenger to Constantinople , though no other than great Boats , like those that pass between Roan and Paris , and which had no other sort of Artillery besides two or three Pot-Guns , were however forc'd to discharge them , without any return from the Castles . But as to other Vessels of greater bulk and force , I shall relate what I have farther observ'd . When a considerable Merchant-man comes near either of the Castles , it behoves him to give them at least three , if not five or seven Guns . But if it be a Man of War , he must give seven at least , otherwise nine or eleven , to which the Castle answers with one , three , or five , to which the Man of War returns three , five , or seven ; and so steers on her Course , if she be inward bound . But if they be Ships that be outward bound , whether Merchants or sometimes Men of War , they are forc'd to stay two or three days , 'till they have been duly search'd and examin'd . Which will not permit me to forbear one short Story wherein I had a concern my self . When Mustapha Aga , who was sent into France in the year 1669. had finish'd his Embassy , the King sent him back to Constantinople attended by four Men of War well appointed , who also carried Monsieur de Nointel to reside at the Port in the room of Monsieur de la Haye-Vantelet . These four Men of War , under the Command of Monsieur d' Aplemont , being arriv'd at Constantinople , rode there six weeks at an Anchor ; so that while the two French Embassadours were preparing the one for his reception , and the other providing for his departure , the four Captains had the opportunity to pleasure a great many poor Slaves that privately stole aboard in order to their Liberty . All that came were kindly receiv'd , a number indeed so considerable , that might well oblige their Patrons to complain to the Caimacan , or Governour of Constantinople . But in regard the greatest part of these poor Slaves were people of no value , and only belonging to some of the City Traders , and persons of mean condition , the Caimacan gave the Complainants only soft answers , but did no more . For he knew that Monsieur d' Aplemont , having formerly threaten'd , when he had but one Ship , to fire the Seraglio and the City if he had not satisfaction given to his demands , was not a person easily to be compell'd to restore the Slaves he had taken , under the protection of four stout Men of War. Nor had the Caimacan taken any farther notice of what pass'd aboard the French , had he not been oblig'd to it by the escape of Monsieur de Beau-jeu . This illustrious Knight of Malta , weary of several years Captivity in the Castle of the seven Towers , where he was a Slave to the Grand Signor , resolv'd to lay hold of the opportunity of the four Men of War lying in the Road , and to free himself by a slight which the French Admiral had promis'd to second . In short , he made a brisk and cunning escape out of the Castle , but being too quick for the Shallop that was sent to receive him , for fear of being pursu'd , and discover'd by certain Dogs that bark'd after his heels , he was constrain'd to take the Water , not without great danger ; for a Saic coming along , he receiv'd a good knock of the pate from one of the Oars , which forc'd him to dive ; and he had been certainly lost , had not the Turks taken him for one of those very Creatures from which he fled . But at length the Shallop took him up , and carry'd him aboard . The next morning the Aga of the seven Towers understood his Prisoner was flown , and thereupon went and gave the Caimacan immediate notice of it , who then thought it high time to send Post away to the Dardanels to stop the four Men of War until they had restor'd Monsieur Beaujeu . The Courier got thither before the King's Vessels were pass'd , though they set sail almost at the same time that the Gally put forth ; so that when they came near the two old Castles , the Forts never stay'd for a Salute , but to prevent their kindness , saluted them first with two or three great Guns laden with Ball as well as Powder from both sides of the Channel . This was signal enough to the Men of War , that they were to pass no farther by fair means . Whereupon they came to an Anchor , and immediately Monsieur d' Aplemont the Admiral sent to the Aga of the Castles , whose Quarters are generally upon Asia side , to demand the reason of his so uncivil Complements to the French Fleet. The Aga return'd for answer , That he had orders not to let him stir any farther , unless he surrender'd back the Body of Monsieur Beaujeu , who was his Highnesses the Sultan's Slave ; and with him likewise the Bodies of three hundred Slaves more which he was carrying away , that had made their escapes from several private persons , their Masters ; to which purpose he intended to send his Officers aboard him to make the same search which was usually made of all Merchants Vessels in the Road , that set sail from Constantinople . Monsieur d' Aplemont gave him to understand by his Interpreter , that he had no Slaves aboard , for that all Men were born free ; so that if he should be so adventurous as to send any persons to search his Master's Ships , he would hang them up at the Yards Arm in sight of his Castles ; and that as to what concern'd the freedom of his passage , he did not much trouble his thoughts about it . For that if the Courier which he would dispatch to Adrianople with his own , if he pleas'd , did not bring him an Order for free passage , he would give notice two days before he weigh'd Anchor , to the end he might have the more time to prepare himself within his Forts against the fury of the French Valour and Artillery . This was an Answer very bold and haughty , considering the place where Monsieur d' Aplemont lay . Nevertheless I verily believe he would have been as good as his word . For during the time that the Messengers were absent , he employ'd his Men in fitting and preparing all things ready , as well for the attack , as for his own defence . But in thirteen days the Messenger return'd , and brought from Adrianople express Orders to the Aga of the Castles to let the French Vessels pass , with all the persons that were aboard . At what time also the Grand Signor sent away to the Caimacan of Constantinople a severe Command to cut off the Head of the Aga of the seven Towers , to learn both him and his Successors for the future to be more careful of the Prisoners of that Castle , especially when they were of such great Quality as Monsieur Beaujeu . These Orders were quickly obey'd ; so that the King's Ships weigh'd Anchor the next day , and departed . In this same part of this Streight it was , that Xerxes , enrag'd to see the foaming and tempestuous Waves oppose his passage into Greece , caus'd the Sea to be whipp'd , and afterwards in disdain of its Power , joyn'd both the Continents together by a Bridge of Boats , and made the Sea as it were to groan under the weight of the floating Burthen . However in the same place it was , that soon after the chaf'd Billows fully reveng'd themselves for the injury done them . For breaking the Chains of the Bridge with a violent storm , the Sea was in a short time fill'd with the Ruins , and shatter'd pieces of that laborious piece of Humane Haughtiness . So that Xerxes being soon after constrain'd to fly the same way , and finding his vain-glorious Triumph o're the Hellespont utterly destroy'd , was enforc'd to betake himself disguis'd to a small Fisherboat to save his life , and rescue himself from the general Massacre of his Army ; so hard it was then for him to get a small Skiff to avoid the Chains and Shackles of a victorious Enemy , who but a little before had vaunted of his having shackl'd the Ocean , drank up Rivers , and sail'd over the dry Land , as it were to insult over Nature her self . Some perhaps may say , that I tarry too long between Sestos and Abydos , and bid me beware , lest out of a desire to entertain the Reader with such remarkable passages as have renown'd these Parts , I run the risco of Leander's misfortune : for he , covetous to converse with his amiable Hero , was lost in this narrow Bay , mistaking the steerage of his Arms. In the same manner the satisfaction which I find in tracing over again the Representation of the same Places , and calling to mind the several passages of Antiquity that happen'd there , may be thought to have withdrawn me too far from my Subject . Wherefore I shall leave Sestos and Abydos , and come now to Lampsacus , that lies not far from it . This City is not now in that splendid condition wherein it flourish'd , at what time it was by Xerxes appointed to furnish Themistocles with Wine for him and his Attendants ; being at present no more than a miserable Village , which retains nothing of its Antiquity , but the Hills that environ it , still cover'd with some few Vines , whose Grapes are pleasing , and the Wine which they afford most excellent , but not very plentiful . The City of Magnesia , the Metropolis of Lydia , which was also allotted to the same Grecian Captain , for his provision of Bread , has much better preserv'd its ancient Magnificence , being still very large , fair , rich , and in good Trade . But as for Myus in Ionia , the third City appointed to Themistocles for the substantial Food of himself and his Followers , it has been a long time buried in its own Ruins . On the left hand over against Lampsacus stands the City of Caligula , corruptly call'd Gallipoli . This is a large City , and the Port very convenient and spacious . It appears much above the Sea , and as most of the Sea-Towns of the Turkish Empire is peopl'd with Christians , Iews , and Turks , who have every one their Churches , Synagogues , and Mosquees , and corresponding very amicably together , maintain themselves and their Families , either by Merchandize , or by their Handicraft Trades . Nor can I yet quit the Hellespont , without adding this farther for the benefit of all Seamen , what they are to observe , and how to steer to avoid the dangers of this passage . Upon the first entrance into this Streight , it behoves you to steer first North and North and by East for the space of about a League to the low Point upon the Eastern shoar a little above the Mouth of Simois , which must be avoided by reason of a Sand-bank that stretches toward the West . After which , you must steer Northward , then North-east and by East for about eight Leagues , as far as Gallipoli , to the West of which lies a large Bay , where you ride in a safe Road secure from the Northern Winds , in twenty fathom Water . But entering into this Port , you must take care of coming too near the South Coast of Gallipoli , by reason of a Bank of Sand , and certain Rocks that lye hid under Water ; and for the same reason take the same care to avoid steering too near to the North , and thus In medio tutissimus ibis ; which is a Rule indeed to be observ'd through the whole Hellespont . A Description of the Propontis . LEaving Gallipoli , which is the last City seated upon the Hellespont , you enter the Propontis ; call'd the White Sea , or Sea of Marmara . It is call'd the Propontis , as being by nature plac'd before the Black Sea , otherwise call'd the Pontus . The name of the White Sea was given it by way of distinction from the Pontus Euxinus , to which the frequent Shipwracks and continual foggy Weather there happening , have bequeath'd it the Denomination of the Black Sea ; and the Isles of Marmara , which lye about nine or ten Leagues up in this Gulph , have given it the name of the Sea of Marmara . The whole circuit of the Propontis , which is about a hundred and sixty Leagues , lies enclos'd within the 38 th and 41 th Degrees of Northern Latitude , and within the 55 th and 58 th Degrees of Longitude , or thereabout . It may be readily conjectur'd from this Situation , that it lies in a most temperate Climate , which neither admits the bitter freezings of the North , nor is subject to the stifling Southern heats . So that there is not hardly to be seen in any other part of the World , so small a spot of Ground , whereon so many fair Cities have been built , as upon the shoar of this round Receptacle of salt Water . The famous Cyzicum , the renown'd Nice , the delightful Apamea , the charming Nicomedia , the unfortunate Chalcedon , and several other Cities of great repute , are sufficient Testimonies , that this celebated part of the World had omitted nothing that might contribute to the Embelishment of her temperate Shoar . All these Cities lye upon the right hand to those Vessels that sail from Gallipoli to Constantinople , while Europe on the Lar-board side shews you the Cities of Rodosto , the new and ancient Perinthus or Heraclea , Selivrea , Bevado , Grandpont , and some others not worthy Commendation . And in regard I have seen all these Cities one after another in my several Travels , I shall say something of every one in particular , in the same order as I have nam'd them , and as they are seated to the view of those that go to Constantinople . The ancient City of Cyzicum , which is one of the first that appears to the right hand upon the Coast of Asia , was famous for the Antiquity of its Foundation , which it derives from the Argonauts , near five hundred years before the building of Rome ; for its situation , which was in a lovely Island joyn'd to the Shoar with two large Bridges ; for its lofty Towers and magnificent Buildings , for the most part all of Marble : For three great Arsenals or Magazines carefully kept in repair , and provided continually with plenty of all things necessary for the preservation of the Inhabitants . The first was a Store-house of Arms offensive and defensive . The second , of all sorts of Tools , Houshold Furniture , and other Necessaries , not only for the Inhabitants , but for all that were subject to the Jurisdiction of the City . And the third contain'd the Granaries for Corn , and other public Provisions for the common benefit . The Liberty also which this City enjoy'd , and which the Inhabitants always resolutely fought to maintain , render'd it no less famous . 'T is true , they lost it once out of their extream desire to preserve it ; at what time not being able to endure the Insolence of the Romans , they put some of them in Irons , and caus'd others to be whipp'd ; which so incens'd Augustus , that he depriv'd them of their Liberty which they held so dear , and which they had acquir'd during the War with the Mithridates . But at length that noble Prince ( o'recome with the Submissions of the Citizens , who to appease his Anger , finish'd the Temple which before they had began in honour of him , though neglected during their Troubles ) restor'd them their former Liberty . In this City it was , that the Emperours Severus put Pescennius Niger to death , for revolting against him in Egypt . But of all those great advantages which formerly it enjoy'd , there remains nothing now but that of its situation , It is at present joyn'd to the Continent by an Isthmus about half a League broad , made out of the Ruins of those two great Bridges which were formerly built over the Sea , and were two flight Shot in length . Upon two sides of the Island , that is to say , to the North and to the East , lie two fair Harbours , now utterly forsaken , as is also the City it self , which has nothing that remains to testifie its ancient Grandeur but prodigious heaps of stately Buildings overturn'd one upon another . Yet among these deplorable Ruins of its ancient Grandeur , there appears upon a pleasant Hill a very fair Amphitheater of an Oval figure , sufficient to contain twelve thousand Spectators . From this Amphitheater , and those other parts of the Hill where you see all that remains of Cyzicum , you may discover the two bosoms of Land that compose the Harbours . But all these Buildings are quite abandon'd now by all Human Resort , unless it be of Some few Travellers that are curious to behold the Relicks of Antiquity . So that now that place where the confus'd noise of Number , and the din of People of various Trades and Occupations made such a noise , as would not let the roaring of the Sea be heard , hears nothing but the mournful cries of Owls and Ravens , and the doleful howlings of solitary Beasts , that shelter themselves in their Nests and Dens among those once stately Fabricks and Monuments of the ambition of the Cyzicenians . As for the City of Nice , which the Turks call Isnir , though it might not be thought perhaps one of the most celebrated Cities in the World for the famous Council of three hundred and eighteen Bishops there held in the year 325 , during the Reign and in the presence of the Great Constantine , under the Pontificate of St. Sylvester ; yet may it be so acknowledg'd by reason of its Foundations first laid by Antigonus King of Asia , Son of Philip , who call'd it by his own name Antigonia , afterwards call'd Nicea by Lysimachus , according to the name of his Wife . This City is almost four-square , plac'd upon a little Bosom of the Sea between two Capes , in a fair Plain . About two Leagues to the North-east runs a long row or chain of small Hills abounding in Wood , Wine , Fruits , and Fountains . The Walls of it are about eight Miles in circuit , defended with large Towers for the most part round , containing several Rooms . They were formerly surrounded with a Terrass , like the Walls of some of the Cities in France ; but the Turks taking no care to repair them , they are now tumbl'd down , and fall'n to decay in several places . The City is large , beautifi'd with very fair Streets , and several Relicks of Antiquity , as well Christian as Pagan ; among the rest with a stately Gate to the South-west , built all of Marble like a Triumphal Arch , adorn'd with several Figures , which the Turks hav'd defac'd , and several Inscriptions as well Greek as Latin. There are also to be seen several very curious pieces of Antiquity , as well in the City as in the Parts adjoyning , of which I took several Draughts ; but having lost them , together with others , and all the Money which I then had , through the unlucky accident of our Caravan's meeting with the Arabs , as we travell'd from this City to Aleppo ; I must beg the favour of the Reader to be content to share in my Misfortunes and my Losses . At present there are not above ten thousand Inhabitants in Nicea , counting as well the Christian Greeks , as Iews and Turks . They live altogether upon the Trade which they drive in their Corn , Fruits , Cottons , Linnen , and other Commodities which they carry to Constantinople , from whence it is not distant by Sea above fifty Leagues , or sixscore Miles by Land. Among all the great number of Cities which have born the name of Apamea , that which the Turks now call Montagniac is one , unless there be any that can make it out to be the City of Nicopolis . But if we may rather believe the ancient Inscriptions which are to be found upon the places , then we may conclude that Montagniac is no other than Apamea . Monsieur Vaillant , a person famous in the search of Antiquity , and whose company I had the happiness to enjoy in this City , found a very fair Inscription upon a piece of square Marble , whereon the name of Apamea was engraven . True it is , that this Inscription might have been brought from some neighbouring place . However , if Montagniac be not Apamea , most certainly 't is not far from the place where Apamea stood . And therefore having nothing more of certainty my self , I shall leave the farther discussion of this Dispute to the foremention'd famous Traveller , in those Relations which he gives us hopes will be made public , and where we may likewise expect this Inscription among the rest . The Situation of this little City is most pleasing , The Bay upon the Shore of which it is built , is called Sinus Cianus , from the Ancient City of Cium , of which the Ruins are yet to be seen ; but now it bears no other name than that of Montagniac ; by means whereof this City drives a vast Trade with Constantinople , in regard that the shortness of the way between it and Bursa , draws to it almost all the Traffick of that great City and of almost all Bithynia , of which Bursa is the Metropolis . From Montagniac to Bursa , Brusa , Brousa , or Bursia , ( for it is called by all these names ) it is but five Leagues Journey through a very pleasant Country , and passably well manured . There are in Montagniac about five or six thousand Inhabitants , Greeks , Turks and Iews , who are all Merchants , and live by the Traffick of their Commodities . The Country adjoyning to this City is very Fertile in all sorts of Fruits which are carried to the Markets of Constantinople . It is a difficult thing to find a Situation more advantagious than that of Nicomedia . Certainly next to that of Constantinople , it claims the preheminence in that respect above all other Cities . For it is seated at the bottom of a Bay which bears its name , and covers the descent of a small Hill replenished with fruit Trees Vines and Corn. A great number of Gardens belong to it , where grow most excellent Fruits , and among the rest Melons , which are nothing inferiour to those of Cashan in Persia , that are esteemed the best in the World. The Curious Traveller also who is desirous to have a Stock of Fair Inscriptions , may easily satisfie his Curiosity in this City of Nicomedia . For there are hardly any of the Streets or Church Yards , where he may not find some Fragments , and sometimes such as are intire , both in Greek and Latin : And it is as true , that this City has been always in high Repute , ever since it was enlarged by Nicomede , King of Bithynia , who gave it the name of Nicomedia , instead of that of Olbia , from the Nymph Olbia , who first laid the Foundations of it . Here it was that Hannibal , after all his defeats , fled for Refuge to Prusias , King of Bithynia ; and where at length , that unfortunate Captain , fearing to be surrender'd up into the hands of the Carthaginians , whom he had ruin'd by his ill Luck , or of the Romans who had sent to demand him from Prusias , ended his days by Poison , which he always carried in the beazil of a Ring . This City was one of the first that embrac'd the Christian Faith , for which Reason the great number of Holy Martyrs that there generously suffered several sorts of Deaths in defence of the Truth , have rendred it the more Illustrious . St. Barba was one of that happy number , and of the same place , as also St. Adrian , St. Pantaleon , St. Gorgon , whose Body we have in France , being brought from Rome by one of the Nephews of Pepin , in the Year , 763. Near to this City it was also , that the Great Constantine , being sixty six Years of Age , died of a Fever in the Year , 340. Some Authors report , that this Emperour being fallen into the Heresy of the Arians , which was condemned in his presence by the Council of Nice , resolved to be rebaptized in the River of Iordan ; to which purpose being upon his Journey from Constantinople , he fell sick at Nicomedia , where Eusebius the Bishop being infected with Arianism , rebaptized him into the Arian Opinion . The Bay of Nicomedia , is not above half a League in breadth , but in length much more ; On both sides of which runs a Ridge of small Hills , which accompanying all along the windings and turnings of the Bay , render the Passage by Water one of the most pleasant Recreations that can be desired . This City which the Turks call Ismir , is very large and well peopled , containing above thirty thousand Inhabitants , consisting of Greeks , Iews and Turks ; several Greek Churches and Fair Mosquees , many Caravansera's or Inns , and several Bazars or Market places . The Trade of the Town consists in Silks , Cottons , Wooll , Linnen , Fruits , Pot-making , Glass-houses , and other Commodities , which render it a place of great Traffick . The most part of the great Saiques , Kaiques , and other vessels belonging to the Merchants of Constantinople are built at Nicomedia . But I must needs say their building for the Sea , is very little better than their Architecture by Land. For though their Vessels are built very large and Roomy , yet are they but ill Saylors , and therefore easily taken . While I happened to be there , they were building two Saiq●es , that were three Years before they were fitted . Which being done , they were carried to Constantinople , to take in their Lading , and make their first Voyage . Their bulk astonished the Constantinopolitans , seeing them so high built and so large , there being no vessel in the Haven that appeared other than little Barks to them . Presently they were moor'd in the Port of Courchiou , the Magazine of this Place , with their Heads turned toward Mecca . Then came the Iman , or Priest of that Quarter , as it were to consecrate the two new Vessels , or rather to charm them by the Vertue of their accustomed Prayers against the misfortunes of Shipwrack and Piracy . Being thus enchanted , they were laden ; being laden , they were again blessed by the Iman with a Tun of Benedictions and good wishes of a happy and prosperous Voyage , and then set Sail for the Coast of Egypt ; but they were no sooner passed the Dardanells , and entered the Archipelago , when a Corsaire of Malta made bold to shorten their Voyage , and to carry away the two Wonders of Constantinople , Lading , Benedictions and all , to his own Port. To the West of Nicomedia , on the North side of the Gulph , there rises a Spring of Mineral water , to my thinking chiefly partaking of Alum , of which the Turks and Greeks relate wonders . There is great resort to it from all Parts , for they believe there is no distemper under the Sun which it does not cure . For my own part , the only Curiosity of going to see it , had like to have cost me my Eyes●t Issues from a Rock at the foot of a little Hill , from whence gliding along toward the Bay , together with some other small streams , it waters a flat kind of Green full of weeds and rushes ; which is all Marshie in the Winter , but was dry when I went over it . Here it was that walking over these Rushes , two Wasps whose peace I had disturbed , in revenge made presently to my Eyes and very angrily stung me under the Brows . The pain that I felt was extream , and the swelling so great that I could not open my Eyes in a Quarter of an hour , so that if I had not had the good fortune to have had Monsieur Vaillant ( as skilful in Physick as Antiquity ) in my Company , I know not whether I might not rather have been put to have groped my way back to Constantinople , than hoped to have seen Persia. But he was so happy as immediately to find out a certain Herb , with the juice of which mixed with water , after he had well washed my Eyes , he soon asswaged the pain , so that I went forward and took a view of that same Celebrated Agiasma , or Holy Fountain . A little farther Westward , on the Southside of the Bay , appears a little Langet of dry Land , just like a great Heap of Earth , not above six Fathom in Breadth , and about half a quarter of a League in length . At the farther end of which , toward the Land side , stands a Mosquee , of which the Turks tell a pleasant Miracle . It happened , say they , that upon a certain Festival among the Turks , a certain Dervich , or Mahometan Monk , who lived on the other side of the Bay to the North , according to his Custom prepared himself very early to perform his Devotions , and say his usual Mattins at the forementioned Mosquee . But the night before , a Storm having robbed him of his little Boat and carried it quite away , and so not knowing how to get over the Bay , he prayed to God to inspire him what to do in his sad Condition . Well , his Prayer was heard , and thereupon Melek Gebrail , or the Angel Gabriel , fails not to attend him ; who bids him go to the Sea shore and fill the Lappet of his Coat with as much sand as it would hold , which being done , he bid him cast the sand before him as he went , and it should presently harden into a path for him to walk upon the Water . The good Hermit followed the Angels wholesome advice , but whether he had not taken sand enough , or whether he did not strow enough upon the yielding waves , his Causey sank behind him , nor could he go forward , for that he had spent all his sand . In this Extremity the Dervich fell again to his Prayers and his Tears , which were so prevalent , that Mahomet himself then took notice of him , and observing to what danger the holy Mussel-man had exposed himself , that he might perform his devotions at the Mosquee , obtained of God to advance a Langet of dry Land as far as where the Dervich stood , on purpose to take him up , and to afford him a safe passage to the Mosquee . Since which time this Langet of Land has remained as it stands to perpetuate the memory of this Miracle . Sayling out of the Gulph of Nicomedia , you enter into the Sea of Chalcedon , in the midd'st of which little Sea , not above ten Leagues in Circumference , you meet with a great Watch-Tower , erected at the end of a Promontory , not far distant from Chalcedon it self . Upon which Promontory also stands a House of Pleasure belonging to the Grand Signor , known by the Name of Fanari-Kiosk . This word Kiosc in the Turkish Language signifies a covered Gallery . For that as well this same Kiosc here mentioned , as also all the rest that are to be seen in Turky , are only built of several Pillars erected upon a Square , supporting Galleries that run from side to side , and are covered with a large low Roof in the manner of a Pavillion . The Situation of this Kiosc is very delectable , as being placed in the midst , and in the highest part of a most beautiful Garden , the most regularly planted of any that are to be seen in Turky ; the Alleys being streight , the Trees planted at an equal distance , with several Beds and Borders of Flowers Artificially drawn forth ▪ ( Whereas all the other Gardens belonging to the Grand Signor , are only a Confusion of Trees growing as they were planted , without any Order or neatness , like so many petty Wildernesses . ) All these Alleys lead to the Kiosc , which every way delights the Eye with a pleasing Prospect . For from hence you may behold the greatest part of the City of Constantinople , the Grand Serraglio , and Galata , which lyes to the West of this Garden , at the distance of about a good League . The Haven and City of Chalcedon lyes upon the right hand to the Northwest ; the Islands of the Princes , and the Propontis face it to the Southeast ; the Entry of the Gulph of Nicomedia appears upon the left hand to the South ; and the lovely Fields of Bithynia , ( upon the farthest Extent of which this beautiful Structure presents it self to view , ) spread themselves from the back part of it beyond the reach of sight . The Charming Situation whereof invited Sultan Solyman the Second to erect a Palace of Pleasure in this place , that here he might with more freedom enjoy his Amours , and wanton away his hours of leisure with his Sultanesses . In the midst of this Structure , a fair ascent leads ye into a beautiful Sopha , or Room of State , richly furnished with Quilts , Carpets , and Cushions of high value , and encompassed with Balisters Embellish'd with Moresco Work. This Sopha is four square , and placed almost in the middle of a large Concavity of the same Form , wherein are several Artificial Water-works continually supplied with water , sufficient to bath in . This Potent Monarch , no less addicted to his Amorous Enjoyments , than to the love of Martial Atchievments , was careful to adorn this Structure with all the gay embellishments , that Ma●ometan Architecture could invent , to consummate as well his own , as the divertisements of the Sultanesses whom he best loved . Taking delight frequently to retire in their Company from his Serraglio at Constantinople to this place , as not being above a League from thence , where being arrived he gave himself up to enjoy with more secresie and less trouble , the Satisfaction of those pleasures which an inordinate Passion could provoke him to , in a place so well accommodated for his wanton purposes . The watch Tower adjoyning to this Kiosc is of great benefit to such Vessels as Sail by night to Constantinople , of which there are a great Number ; or to such as come to an Anchor near to Chalcedon , which does not happen so frequently . The Haven as also the City of Chalcedon are neither much frequented , unless it be by some Barks and Saics which go to Constantinople to fetch Provisions that are wanting here . Formerly this City was one of the most Famous that stood upon the Propontis . And it is said that one Chalcedon a Shepherd , and Son of Saturn , first began to build some certain Cottages upon the Banks of a small River that watered the adjoyning Meadows , to which he gave his own name . A long time after the Inhabitants of Chalcis in the Island of Euboea , now called the Negropont , sent a Collony thither , continuing the name which before it had , as being not much different from the Name of their own City . The Megareans , not far from the Corinthian Isthmus , did the like about the Year of the World 3290. But in regard that both the one and the other , by their choice of Chalcedon , had overseen that noble Situation which shewed it self over against them , where now Constantinople stands , therefore it was that the Oracle of Delphos adjudged them both to be blind , and that Megabizu● the Persian , and all that have come after him , have still to this day confirm'd the Sentence of the Oracle . For my part , I cannot but wonder that among so many that have called them Blind , there is not one who has called them Fools . Arrian , the Historian and their Neighbour , as being born in the City of Nicomedia , relates , that those People having for some time neglected the Worship of a Certain Deity , to which their Ancestors had Erected a Temple , were visited with a noysome and shameful disease . For which not finding any other remedy , they thought the readiest way to preserve the rest of the Body , would be to cut off the part infected , though of never so great use to the whole . This incens'd Deity was certainly Venus , who had a most beautiful Temple in Chalcedon , and the Distemper no doubt was one of those , of which she is generally the Primary cause . The disease was doubtless very irksome , and the remedy much worse , and doubtless it was their great misfortune , that they had not so much as one of our Empericks to Plaster their Walls , as they do here at London , with their Infallible Venereal Cures ; for surely he would have been the most acceptable person in the World to the Chalcedonian Ladies , who bemoaned their Widowhoods , while yet their Husbands were alive . However at present there remain no footsteps either of this Temple of Venus , or of that of Apollo , which one Cocconas rendered Famous by the Oracles , which ( by slight of Invention ) he made the bright-hair'd Deity deliver there as well as at Delphos . This Cocconas envying the Cities of Delphos in Phocis , Claros in Ionia , and Delos in the Egean Sea , which were become so renowned and wealthy by means of the Oracles of Apollo , b●●hought himself at length of a way to bring the Fortune-Telling God to his City , and to make him speak in his Temple . To that intent he ob●ain'd to be elected one of Apollo's Priests , and in a short time having got the knack of wrapping up his Answers in Ambiguous Terms , he so raised the Fame of Chalcedonian Apollo , that he gain'd the Resort of all Thrace , Bithynia , Phrygia , and all the neighbouring Provinces . But neither these Temples of Pagan Antiquity , nor those of the Primitive Church , are now any more to be seen . The Ruin'd City is now contented only with a small part of a Church formerly Dedicated to St. Euphemia , whither those few Greeks that live in the City resort to perform their Religious Duties . And in this Church it was that the fourth General and oecumenical Councel was held . As for any other pieces of Antiquity , there are only some few Tombs , and short Inscriptions , and the fair Reliques of a subterraneal Aquaduct . The Haven is now no longer chain'd as formerly to guard the Entrance ; and yet though it lies open thus to all , not one jot for that the more frequented . In short Chalcedon , to which Chrysopolis or Galata in former times was only a Haven for its Gallies , and a Magazin for the Public Stores , retains at present nothing of its Illustrious Antiquity , but the Name , being only a miserable Village containing about a Thousand or twelve Hundred Houses , surrounded with heaps of Ancient Ruins , and Monuments of Destruction . The Persians , Goths , Saracens , and Turks , have all successively contributed to it's overthrow , it having felt the fatal effects of all their Cruelties , and the too near Neighbourhood of Constantinople has been a Potent Obstacle to its Recovery . The Eastern Emperours , who always since the time of Constantine the Great made Constantinople the Seat of the Empire , made it their business to advance the Splendor of that City with the Spoils as well of her Neighbours as her Enemies . Of which number the Emperor Valens was one , who alone wasted Chalcedon more than all her other Enemies . He threw down all her Walls , which were built of fair large Stones , and a small matter would have urg'd him entirely to have rased it , for that she had harbour'd his Enemy Procopius , and was suspected to have strongly favoured his Party . The Great Aquaduct also at Constantinople , adjoyning to the Solimanie , and the best part of that Mosquee , was Erected out of the Ruins of this unfortunate City . But this Road which I have described is never much regarded in going to Constantinople ; for all Vessels leave the beautiful Shores of Bithynia upon the right hand , and keep Coasting for the most part upon the shoar of Thrace . So then leaving the Hellespont , the first City you meet with is Rodosto . A City well seated at the bottom of a small Bay , which gives it the Convenience of an indifferent good Harbour . It is well peopled with about fifteen thousand Inhabitants . The Trade which it drives with all Thrace , the Propontis , and over all the Black Sea , causes it to be more frequented than any other City upon that Coast , it is adorn'd with three or four large Mosquees , and several other lesser ones , besides that the Greeks have also some Churches in it , and the Iews two Synagogues . It lies stretched out in length upon the Sea ●hoar , which brings it it's chiefest Commerce , being surrounded to the Landward with several Gardens replenished with store of good fruit ; though for their way of manuring and ordering their Ground , it seems not to be much better there , than in any other part of Turkey ; the Mahometans being as little skill'd in Gardening as in Architecture . For though they have a great number of persons that call themselves Bostangis or Gardiners they are much more beholding to Nature for producing the Fruit , than to Art for Cultivating or dressing either Plants or Trees . They sow great store of Cotton , Cucumbers , ordinary Melons , water Melons , and such kind of cooling Fruits , which are not however so kindly , as they that grow about Nicomedia . Leaving the little Bay of Rodosto , you meet with upon the left hand the Ancient City of Perinthus . This is almost the fortieth City in number that has born the Name of Heraclea : and if among all the misfortunes that have befallen it , it had not still preserved its name , you would hardly believe , beholding the deplorable Condition to which it is reduced , that what remains could be the Ruins of that once so loudly Celebrated Perinthus , which formerly gave Laws to the Proud Byzantium it self , under whose Tyranny it now so heavily groans . This City is Seated in 42 degrees 25 min. of Northern Latitude , round a Promontory somewhat ascending , which on each side makes two indifferent good Harbours ; of which , that which lies to the North-East , is the biggest and most secure , and consequently most frequented . But in regard there is no care taken to cleanse it , and for that the Turks suffer it to be insensibly fill'd up with the Rubbish that falls continually from the ruinous buildings , of which there are several close adjoyning to the shoar , the Haven is now very much impair'd , and capable of receiving only Ordinary Barks and Turkish Saicks , of small Burden ; whereas in the Reign of the Emperor Severus , and long before and after his Time , it afforded Commodious and safe Harbour to Royal Navies , and Ships of the greatest burthen then Built . The Haven it self is almost Circular , and much resembling the Form of a Horshooe , affording a most pleasing Prospect , though not altogether so delightful , as that which extends it self from the Promontory upon the left hand . From the upper part of this Promontory you discover the two Havens belonging to Heraclea , between which it swells up into a fair ascent , and the Sea of Marmora , which lies directly before it and the whole City ; and besides , the beautiful Fields which inviron it , contribute very much to the advantage of its Situation . And certainly upon this place it was that the noble Amphitheater of Heraclea was erected , which in the Records of Antiquity has obtained the Renown of being one of the seven Wonders of the World. Some Ruins of it still remain , and among the rest several Vaults or Cellars full of water which is extreamly fresh and clear , that now supply the want of Cisterns . From these Reservatories it was without all question that the water was conveyed through different Pipes , to the several Apartiments of the Amphitheater , where they had occasion . Neither was this the only considerable Structure in Heraclea . For besides the stately Temples , the most delicate Bathing places , and other public Buildings , there were also several Statues , pieces of rare and Exquisite Workmanship , erected in the several Streets , in remembrance of those who had been any way beneficial to the Common-wealth . The Statues themselves are now unhappily broken to pieces , through the Barbarity of succeeding Ages . But their Pedestals , together with the Inscriptions still to be Read , plainly demonstrate the high gratitude of the Perinthians toward their Benefactors . Which as it confirms the Generosity of the Ancient Heracleotes , so may we thence conclude Heraclea and Perinthus to be the same . The Greek and Latin Inscriptions in several parts of the City yet undefaced , and the apparent Reliques of Antiquity still extant , confirm that of the Poet , — quae magna Perinthus Ante fuit , priscum mutavit Heraclea nomen . — Which Great Perinthus was before , But Heraclea now has chang'd the Name of yore . There is hardly a street which does not shew some Testimony of this Truth ; in regard that many of those Engraven Monuments are now made use of for Steps to the common Habitations of the Citizens . But the most remarkable Inscription now to be seen in Heraclea , remains upon a Stone that is Mortased into the wall of the Great Church adjoyning to the Street which leads to Adrianople . The words are in Greek , and Dedicated to the good Fortune of the Emperor Severus . For he it was that to be reveng'd upon the City of Byzantium , for taking the part of Pescennius Niger , subdued it , and annexed it to the Territories of the Perinthian Common-wealth , whose Rival for Dominion she had formerly been . There is also another Inscription near to the same Church , in the House of the Metropolitan , dedicated to the good Fortune of the Emperor Trajan , the Son of Nerva . The Metropolitans House adjoyns to the Church , to which he goes under a Covert . In this same Passage , which also serves for a Portico to the said Church , is to be seen the Tomb of an English Gentleman , who going to Constantinople , fell sick of the Pestilence in the Island of Tenedos , and died before he could arrive at Heraclea , where he was Interred in the Year 1627. as appears by the Greek and Latin Epitaph upon his Tomb. There is no question to be made , but that the Bishop and the Cadi shar'd the best part of that unfortunate Gentlemans Viaticum , to obtain the favour of being Interred in a place so secure as the Entry into the Church , a place the most Honourable and decent in those parts , in regard that neither the Greeks nor any of the Eastern Christians bury their dead in Churches . This Cathedral Church of Heraclea is one of the fairest in all Greece . When I say one of the fairest Churches of Greece , it is not to be imagin'd that I extol it for a Pompous piece of Architecture . Only this it is that makes it so remarkable , that it is a great pile wrought out of a large Pane of one part of the Wall of the City and the Remains of an Ancient Building , which seems to have been some Tower , over which they have raised a handsome Roof that covers the Edifice . The inside is fair and decent , and much better ordered than the Church belonging to the Patriarch of Constantinople . There are also several other Churches in Heraclea , but not in so good repair as this , which is a kind of Cathedral , and indeed the one half of them are altogether deserted and utterly forsaken . When I came to Heraclea , I ask'd whether it were Holyday , finding so many of the Shops shut up in several streets . But they told me , they were the Houses of a great many rich Heracleotes , who were lately dead of the Plague ; or else of such as had forsaken their Houses and their Country some Years before , unable to endure the Tyranny of the Turks , who continually vexed them with new Impositions ; adding farther , that if the Turks did not relax their Cruelty , there would not in a short time be one Greek Inhabitant left in Heraclea . In regard that since the late severe prohibitions against Wine over all Turkey , the poor Greeks had not where withal to make money to pay their Karache or Tribute , which they are oblig'd to have ready upon demand . Nor is the Condition of all the other Cities of Turkey much different from this , as being all very thinly inhabited ; for besides that the Contagion , which always ravages in one part or other of the Ottoman Empire , sweeps away vast Numbers dayly of the Grand Signor's Subjects , the Politicks of that Prince are not so clear-witted as to apprehend , that Polygamie , which he and his Laws allow , is not sufficient to replenish an Empire , so vast as his , with People . A little more Humanity and less Tyranny would be much more conducing to that purpose , than all the Variety of Women in his Serraglio , and which his Basha's and other Subjects also maintain . But they are so far from Humanity and Moderation , that upon the least failor of exacted Tribute , there is no more than a word and a blow : Cudgels , Chains and Imprisonment , are the only kindnesses they must expect who are not prepared to satisfy the Collector's demand . More than this , the Mahometans are so wedded to their opinion concerning Predestination , that it will not permit them to erect Hospitals or Alms-houses either for the Cure of the sick , or any other public places where the Infected , or such as come from Infected places , are usually oblig'd in other Countries to keep their Quarantaines , before they are admitted to Trade in public . On the other side , with them , a person no sooner dyes of the Plague , but they presently carry his Cloaths and Goods to the Market , where he that wants , purchases what he has occasion for , and many times loses his life e're he has had the pleasure to enjoy his Bargain : Which though it be a misfortune that frequently happens to several , yet the Turks never take any notice of it . And as for the poor Greeks , though they are sufficiently sensible of the mischief , yet the sottish Religion of their Masters will not permit them any other kindness than to perish with them . The present Trade of Heraclea is not very great ; nor are the Vessels which visit their Haven any other for the most part , than such as are driven in by stress of weather ; as happen'd to the Ship wherein I was a Passenger , which was constrained to put into Harbour , by a furious Wind full North. But for such as come to take in their Lading there , they are but few ; and yet they have plenty of Cotton , Olives , dry and green Fruits , Hides and Wool. I arriv'd at Heraclea just at the time when they gather'd their Cotton , which made me curious to see in what manner they did it . It is well known that Cotton is the product of a Seed black without and white within , about the bigness of a little Pea. This they Sow in Iune , that it may come to perfection in September , or October at farthest . In which time the plant grows up generally as high as an ordinary Shrubb , bearing a leaf not much unlike that of Plantain . But whether it grow much or little , it bears always several Cods full of Cotton , in the midst of which lyes the seed . Now when these Cods are fully ripe , they open like an Emony flower , and discover the Cotton enclosed , which is separated from the Seed by two little Rollers like those of a Gravers Printing Press , between which the Cotton passes , leaving the Seed behind . This City has been Honoured by the death of several Martyrs , liberal of their blood in defence of the Christian faith . Of which number were St. Felix , Clement , and Philemon . Between Heraclea and Constantinople , there is at present nothing remarkable ; only three or four Villages discover themselves upon the Coast of Thrace , which might formerly perhaps have been places of note , as seems to appear by their heaps of Ruin'd Houses . But at this time , were Selivrea , Bevados , Grand Pont , and Sancto Stephano , all put together , they would not make an ordinary Town . So that I shall say little more of this coast of Thrace ; only since I have made mention of Grand Pont , ● cannot pass by a generous Action of Monsieur Vaillant , Physician and Antiquarie to the King of France . We embark'd together at Smirna for Constantinople , in a Turkish Saick , that stopp'd to unlade part of her Goods at Grand-pont , which the Turks call Boujouc Tchesmega , or Boujouc Kupri . During the time that the Vessel stay'd in the Harbour , Monsieur Vaillant went ashore , to see what pieces of Antiquity he could discover : And passing along through one of the publick streets , he saw a young Venetian , chain'd like a fugitive slave , to the end , that his Master might come and have him again upon claim , or if he had no Master , that then they who had stopp'd him might make their best advantage of him . This Venetian had been made a slave during the War of Candy , and sold to a Turk in the Country , by whom , as he afterwards confessed , he had not been ill us'd . But notwithstanding his Patrons mildness , that natural desire of Liberty , and to return to his Native Country , which is fixed in all men , had over perswaded him to seek out all the ways imaginable to free himself . Thereupon hearing of a new Venetian Embassador that was upon his way to Constantinople , he resolv'd to lay hold of an opportunity that seem'd to promise him so fairly . And indeed the success of his first attempts were answerable to his wishes . For his Master , conscious of the kindness and affection which he had shew'd him all along , had not the least mistrust of him ; and with that confidence sent him with a Letter to Adrianople , which was about two days Journey from his House . The Venetian was so just as to carry his Masters Letter to Adr●●●ople , but for the answer his Master might fetch it himself . For he had a farther journy to go , which was to Constantinople , whither he made all the hast he could , and by the privatest Roads , and the most by-ways he could find out . Nevertheless he could not Travel with that secresie , but that at length he was stopp'd . For it is the custom in Turkie , to stop as a fugitive slave , any person that Travells alone i' the Country , or comes to any Village without Company , and not to let him pass if he cannot produce a Letter from his Master to justify his being sent , or that he has given him his Liberty . Neither of which the Venetian had to shew that were real , and which to counterfeit in Turkie is a thing extreamly hazardous and dangerous . Thereupon he was apprehended , and chain'd to a Post in the public street , where he remain'd for three days together ; notwithstanding all the feign'd excuses he could make . The poor Venetian was in a thousand doubts , sometimes he feared lest his Master should hear of him , and then he knew the severity of his punishment no less than five hundred drubs with a battoon upon the soles of his feet , with a thousand other hardships , at the discretion of his Patron . Sometimes he was afraid they would sell him to some other Master , that would not be so kind to him as his other Patron had been . But in the midst of these thoughts ▪ the Arrival of Monsieur Vaillant prov'd his deliverance . For as soon as the miserable Captive perceiv'd him , he threw himself at Monsieur Vaillants feet , imploring his compassion , and to relieve him from the misfortune he was fall'n into , either of being found out again by his former Patron , or sold to a new Master , Thereupon Monsieur Vaillant commiserating the lamentable condition of the miserable Captive , demanded him from the hands of those that detain'd him , as one that was a friend to his Master , whom he pretended to know , and call'd by a fictitious name ; and to add the more credit to what he said , he readily paid what mony they who put the imbargo upon the Venetian's heels demanded , and so carrying his purchase along with him to Constantinople , there like a generous Christian gave him his full liberty frankly and freely . Having now taken a view of all the Propontic shoare , it behoves us to speak something of the Islands that are in the Propontis it self ; of which the largest , and those which you first meet with , are the Islands of Marmara . They lye to the right , as you leave Galipoli , about ten Leagues off in the Sea , steering , if you desire to make them North East and by East . In the Winter some Vessels bear away to the South of these Islands , by reason of the South and South-East Winds that blow hard at that Season ; in the Summer they keep the Channel directly for Constantinople . These Islands are Four in number , Two large ones , One of a lesser extent , and the Other very small . They lye very near one another , and are well peopl'd . The biggest of these Islands which is the most Northerly , is about twelve Leagues in circumference , having for its chief City Marmara , from whence it derives its name , together with several other Villages , and among the rest Galioni and Crastio , with some few Convents and Hermitages , inhabited by Caloyers or Religious Greeks , who pass their time with great content in those quiet Retirements . The largest next to Marmara , lying to the East is call'd Avezia , containing one Borough of the same name , and two Villages , Aloni and Arabkioi , or the Villages of the Arabians . The third Island , not so large as either of the former , is call'd Coutalli , containing also a Borough of the same name ; and the fourth , which is the smallest of all , by the name of Gadaro , is not however without several pleasant Habitations , and some few Religious houses of the Caloyers . These four Islands are seated on a good Climate , lying in 38 degrees and some 35 minutes of Northern Latitude , to the South-East of Heraclea , abounding in Corn , Wine , Fruit , Pasturage , and Cattel , besides the convenience of excellent Fishing , of which the Inhabitants however make little other advantage than for their own use , in regard that Constantinople , and all the other Cities seated upon the Propontis , are sufficiently stor'd by their own Inhabitants , so that they have no occasion to be beholding to their Neighbours . They who are bound from these Islands to Constantinople , must steer their course North , and the contrary from Constantinople to Marmara . I have Sail'd it in less than Twelve Hours with a good Wind , though it be reckoned about Forty Leagues . At the extremity of the Propontis , before you bear up to Constantinople , you meet with a little cluster of Islands , which the Turks call Papa Adasi ; the Greeks , Papa donisia , or the Isles of the Monks ; the Europeans , the Islands of the Pope , or the Islands of the Princes . These Islands would be most pleasing Summer Ritirements , and Spring-Gardens for evening Recreations , were they in the hands of the Christians , or they Masters of Constantinople ; every one would there desire to have his Country Habitation . For they lye not above three or four Leagues from Constantinople , which is not above an hour and a half or two hours sail at the most . The Europeans who live in Constantinople , as also those of Pera , and the other Greeks , make these Islands , generally the Randevouzes for their Recreation . But yet such is their unhappiness to be so near Neighbours to Constantinople , that that which otherwise might prove to their advantage , becomes the cause of their misfortune . For lying at so small distance from the M●tropolis , when any of the Ianizaries , or Drunken Turks , have a mind to divert themselves , they retire to these Islands , to the end they may have the more liberty to troul about their Cups , without being taken notice of . For though the Turks rarely drink Wine , yet they love to take their full swinge when they can get a private convenience , not believing they have so much as tasted it , unless they can feel the effects of it in their heads or their Stomachs three days after . To this purpose away they go to these Islands , inhabited only by Christian Greeks , with a design to bouze it about briskly , and when they are got Drunk , they commit all the disorders that their inflam'd heads can devise . They swear at the poor Greeks , beat 'em , and seize for their own proper use , ( as Lords of the Mannour ) whatsoever they have a mind to . 'T is true they seldom kill any one , because Murder is so strictly and severely punish'd all over Turkie , the Murderers being always hang'd in the same place where the Murder is committed : but they break into the poor peoples Gardens , and make more havock of the Vines , Plants and Fruit Trees , than so many Swine , not sparing what ever comes in their way , so that the Poor creatures have no encouragement either to till , plant or sow . Which is the reason that those fertil and delightful Islands lye almost neglected and unmanur'd , like so many barren desarts . Only the Caloyers plant about their Religious Houses sufficient for themselves , and to entertain such Travellers as come to visit them ; to whom they will also permit the liberty of Eating Flesh in th●ir Convents , so they bring it along with them , though themselves are by their Order confin'd only to the Fruits of the Earth and Fish ; of which they have the convenience to make a plentiful Provision . The Coloyers are of the Order of St. Basil , as are also those of Mount Athos , or the Holy Mountain : and indeed all the rest of the Caloyers all over Greece are under the same Rules , and wear the same Habit : You shall not hear a word among them of Reforming their first Institution . They have not chang'd any thing of their Ancient manner of living or Habit. Their vestments are the same as formerly . They have neither added nor diminish'd any thing to make any distinction one from the other ; but maugre the desolation of their livelyhoods , and the long series of time , they have preserved their Constit●tions entire , without suffering any alteration or deviation . They live a very retir'd life , and very poorly ; they never eat any flesh ; and besides this continual abstinence , they keep four Lents in the year , not reckoning in several other Fasts and Vigils which the Greek Church most devoutly observes ; in so much that let them be what they will , Secular or Ecclesiastic , Rich or Poor , sick or in health , though never so pressing necessity urge it , they dare not at those times so much as tast either Butter , Fish or Eggs. The Armenians also forbid the use of Oyl ; nor does any person so much as think of desiring a Dispensation , which indeed would never be granted , unle●s they could alledge some invincible reason , and then they must also give a very con●iderable Alms to the Church . The Description of Constantinople . LEaving these Islands , of which I shall say no more , because that others have bestow'd great pains upon them already , you begin to approach near Constantinople , which you behold to the left hand ; and to coast along by the Walls , which reach from the Castle of the seven Towers to the Point of the Serraglio ; after which you must steer to the North-East , to double the point of the Serraglio , to avoid the continual Current of the Waters of the Bosphorus , which fall with a wonderful impetuosity out of the Black Sea into the Propontis , and which would infallibly cast the Ship upon the A●ropolis , where the Point of the Serraglio stands . You then leave the Serraglio upon the left hand , and the Vessel Sayling upon Scutari side , passes very near a Rock , upon which is built a foursquare Tower , environ'd with a Wall of the same form , well provided with great Guns . The Turks call this Castle , or rather Tower , Khes-Calasi , or the Virgin 's Castle ; the Europeans , though without any ground , Leanders Tower. In regard it does not stand in that part where Leander wont to exercise his Armes for the sake of his Mistress Hero , which was between the Dardanells , as hath been said already . This is certainly that part of the Universe above all others , where the eye most deliciously feeds it self with a prospect every way delightful . There is nothing can be beheld , nor conceiv'd more charming to the sight , than this approach to Constantinople . For my own part , when I arriv'd there the first time , methought I was entring into an Inchanted Island . I found my self in the midst of three great Arms of the Sea , of which the one flows from the North-East , the other lyes toward the North-West , and the third , to which both those contribute their waters , discharges it self into the round Receptacle of the Propontis . These three great Arms of the Sea , as far as you can see , employ their Waves on both sides , to wash the shoars of several parcells of Land , insensibly rising into a great number of Hills cover'd with Houses of pleasure , Gardens and Kioscs . And the nearer these three great Arms of the Sea waft ye to the City , the more increases the infinite number of Houses . They appear all together one above another , in form of an Amphitheater , so that they all afford the benefit of a most beautiful Prospect . In the midst of those houses , variously Painted appears an incredible number of Domo's , Cupola's , Steeples and Towers , much higher than the ordinary Buildings . All those Domo's are cover'd with Lead , as also the Steeples , the Spires of which are Gilded : And the verdure of the Cypress and other Trees , abounding in a prodigious number of Gardens , contribute infinitely to the pleasing confusion of various colours that charm the eyes of all that approach near to the City . The multitude of Vessels that make as it were a Crown round about the Port , without encumbring the middle , appears like a spacious Circle of lofty Trees , depriv'd of their Leaves on purpose because they should not hide those beautiful Objects that lye behind them . And the vast number of Kaicks , Gondola's and little Boats , which is said to amount to above Sixteen Thousand , which are continually in motion from all parts , some under Sail , some Row'd with Oars , for the convenience of the Inhabitants , seems to represent to the Spectators of so lovely an Amphitheater , the continual divertisement of a Naval Combat . In short , when you are in the middle of the Harbour of this great City , which way soever you turn your eye , you cannot but admire how favourable Nature has been to it , in making choice of whatsoever she thought might conduce to the Glory of its situation . Seeing then it has such great advantages , and those peculiar to it self , we need not wonder that Constantine the Great , so easily quitted the delights of Rome , and Transported the Seat of his Empire to Byzantium , and that he call'd it by his own name ; nor indeed is there any other City so proper to command the Universe . With one glance of her eye she beholds the two most lovely parts of the whole , and in less than a quarter of an hour can send her Orders from the one part of the World where she is seated , to the other . Which therefore seems to make so near an approach to her lofty Towers on purpose to receive her Commands , and submit to her Obedience . So that had Art and Nature consulted together , to form a Place where Beauty and Plenty should equally contend , they never could have been more successful , than in the adornment of that where Constantinople stands . The Soyl produces all sorts of Fruits , as pleasing to the Eye , as delicious to the tast , so that there is nothing to be desired either necessary , or superabounding for the support of human life . Their Fresh and Salt Waters furnish them with all sorts of Commodities , which it is possible for an Element so advantageous to mankind to afford them . Fish , not to speak of Oysters , in so great abundance stores their Markets , that I know not whether it may not be one part of satisfaction to Curiosity for that very reason to view a City so well furnished with provision : You shall see them frisking every moment above Water . But whether to admire the Glory of that City , or to breath in the sweetness of the Air , be more pleasant , is a question . The vast plenty of Fowl is not to be imagin'd ; yet the havock which they make Mornings and Evenings among the Gardens and neighbouring Hills , sufficiently declare the fruitfulness of the Climate in their production . Nor are they less stor'd with those Amphibious winged Creatures , that live sometimes upon Land , sometimes in the Water , and sometimes in the Air , to shew that all those three Elements are at Constantinople in their Highest perfection . Even the Fire it self , not enduring to be confined within the smaller hearths of so fair a City , breaks forth oft-times into most violent constagrations , as if become capable of jealousie , and not being able to render it self sufficiently remarkable by its ordinary uses , it rather chose to shew it self dreadful by its effects , than to be the onely Element idl● and inglorious in that City , while all the rest seem to have their Thrones at Constantinople . This Prodigality of Nature caused the Emperour Iustinian , to believe that it behov'd men rather to abandon all the rest of the World to come and live at Constantinople , than suffer so delightful a place to be one single day without Inhabitants , as it has been the fate of several other great Cities . And upon this consideration it was , that he chang'd it's name of Constantinople , and gave it the Appellation of the Eternal City , as appears by that Law of his , si qui quinta cap. de divers . praed . urb . tit . 69. Neither is Constantinople the onely name which this City has born , nor yet the last ; having had almost as many Names as Masters ; while all that have rul'd within her Walls , either as Kings or Tyrants , have all had their fancies to change her Name as well as her Fortune . In the first place it was call'd Chrysoceras , or Horn of Gold. Perhaps from that plenty and abundance which some of the Thracian Shepherds found upon that Out-let of Land upon which it is Seated ; or for the advantage of the place by reason of its Situation , and the exteriour Figure of it , which represents the shape and substance of Amalthea's Horn , usually call'd the Horn of Plenty : This fell out in the Year of the World 3286. which was within the 22 d. Olympiad , in the Reigns of * Ezechias and Numa Pompilius ; six hundred fourscore and ten years before the Birth of Christ. After this first erecting of certain Shepherds Cottages at Chrysoceras , the number of Inhabitants , charm'd with the Situation of the Place , increas'd so fast , that in a little time it grew to be a considerable Borough , to which they gave the name of Acropolis , or the City of the Point or Promontory , and afterwards that of Lygos . Nor was it long after that Byzis , Byzas , Bysantus or Bysanta ( for such is the variety among several Authors ) carrying thither a Collony of the Megarians , call'd it by his own name Byzantium , which continu'd 'till the Reign of the Emperour Antonine , who greatly added to the Buildings , and call'd it Antonina . It has also born the name of Anthusa , afterwards that of New Rome , 'till at length Constantine the Great , ( who Translated thither the seat of the Roman Empire , ) enlarg'd it , and to adorn it with a Magnificence becoming the honour which he had done it , added his own , and call'd it Constantinian new Rome , which long name was afterwards abridg'd into that of Constantinople , or the City of Constantine . Yet had not this new Constantinian Rome more auspicious beginnings of its Grandeur than the Ancient Rome : For if we may believe Zozimus , who was none of Constantines greatest Friends , and some other Authors , the rebuilding of Constantinople was accompany'd with more fatal and ill-boding Omens , than those of which we read of the laying the Foundations of Rome . For those Authors accuse the Emperour for having put his Wife Fausta and his Son Crispus to death , and upon a slighter occasion than that upon which Romulus slew his Brother Remus . But in regard these Accidents happen'd before Constantine became a Christian , therefore the Greek Proverb may be said still to hold , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , a wiser than a wise man may err , seeing that it is as impossible for great men to live without their defects , as for the Sun to shine without a spot in his glorious Countenance : However it were , this last name has been of longest continuance , as well among the Latins , as other Christians of Europe ; but as for the Turks and other People of Asia , Africa and Europe , they all give it the name of Stamboll . Perhaps from the corruption of the words 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , to the City , which was the answer , that the Greeks who liv'd near to Constantinople gave to those that ask'd the question , whither go ye ? But neither the Turks nor any other of the Eastern People , can give any rational accompt of the Original of the word : And therefore it will suffice to say , that this City is now known to a great number of People by the name of Stamboll , which was formerly call'd Constantinople . So then this same Chrysoceras , Acropolis , Lygos , Bysantium , Antonina , Anthusa , New Rome , Constantinople , the Eternal City , and Stamboll , which you please to call it , is that famous City , now seated in the extream part of all Thrace , in 41 degrees of Northern Latitude , and 57 degrees of Longitude . It possesses all that Langet of Land , that advances towards the discharge of the Channel of the Black Sea , ( which is call'd the Thracian Bosphorus , ) into the Propontis or Sea of Marmara . And thence extending it self on both sides , formes a harbour the most secure and commodious for shipping , and the most abounding in all sorts of Fish , of any in the world . But now not to say any thing what this great City formerly was , which others have sufficiently done before me , and for that all that has been already written , is no more than what has been taken from the obscure passages of certain ancient Authors ; I shall onely give a short accompt of what it is at present , the Reader having the satisfaction of the Draught , Fig. II. p. 57. which is as true a Representation of the Original , as the bigness of the Volume would permit . This Peninsula upon which Constantinople is seated , begins to forsake the Continent , and advance it self between two Seas , where stands the Castle of the Seven Towers , and so runs on to the Serraglio , and thence winding about towards the Continent again , makes a large half Circle , which forms the Haven that belongs to the City , 'till you come to a small River which discharges it self into it , and their mixing its own fresh stream with the salt Water , renders the Haven , both pleasant and commodious . Near to the Mouth of this little River , ( where lies the Burying place belonging to the Iews , ) upon the back part of the City , runs almost in a direct line , a double flat wall strengthen'd with several Square Towers , which reaches to the Castle of the Seven Towers , so that the Figure of the City is a Triangular Oxygone , resembling a Harp , or Cornucopia , the gibbous part of which lies next to the firm Land , and the two Horns are wash'd by the Channel of the Black Sea. The whole Circuit of Constantinople is about four Leagues . That is to say , from the Seven Towers to the Point of the Serraglio , formerly call'd Acropolis , may be reckon'd more than a League and a half . From that Point of the Serraglio to Aivansarai , which is a part of the Suburbs next to the Iews Burying place , may be accounted above a League and a quarter , and from thence to the Seven Towers somewhat more than a League . This latter part of the City lies toward the Continent ; but the other two are wash'd on both sides by the Sea. This whole circuit is encompass'd with a Wall , Fortify'd on the out side with square and round Towers ; on the inside , the Houses of the City joyn to it : The City has Entrance at Eighteen Gates , of which Five stand next to the Propontis , with their Sally-ports and descents ; Six toward the Court , with their descents and Sally-Ports in the same manner ; and Seven stand toward the Continent , where the Walls and Motes are double . Which latter Walls were built by one Cyrus , who was formerly Governour of the City , in the Reign of Theodosius the younger . This piece of work gave such satisfaction to the people , that they made public rejoicings , and Eulogies in honour of that same great Lord , and extoll'd him to a very high degree . Among the rest , they said , that though it were true , that Constantine had built the City , yet it was Cyrus that had enlarg'd and re-edify'd it ; and more than all this , they were about to have chang'd the Name of the City from that of Constantinopolis , into that of Cyropolis . Which Theodosius observing , began to grow jealous , and to recompence Cyrus for having so well fortify'd and beautify'd the Town , he caus'd him to be shorn , and put into a Monastery , where he dy'd for very Grief . The Castle of the Seven Towers which joyns these Walls upon the Land side , to those that look toward the Propontis , is the first building of remark in Constantinople . It may be properly call'd the Bastile of Stamboll , in regard it had the same Original , and serves now for the same use as the Bastile of Paris . For formerly it was no more than one of the City Gates , compos'd of Four large Towers . This Gate was call'd the Golden Gate , either because the Ornaments with which it was embellish'd were gilt , or else because all the Triumphs and Magnificence of Constantinople , at the time of solemn Entries and Receptions , were always wont to pass thorow this same Gate . Among the number of all which Pompous Entries was that which Pope Iohn the first made , who was receiv'd with all the pomp and spendour imaginable , not so much for that he was sent by Theodoric , or Thierry King of Italy to the Emperour Iustin the old , but for that as he pass'd through this Golden Gate , the holy Prelate had restor'd a Blind man to his Sight ; and because he also took a Journey to Constantinople , to reconcile the differences between the Catholics and the Arrians , whose Party Theodoric upheld . At which interview between the Pope and the Emperour it was , that Iustin began the custom that has been observ'd ever since , for the Emperours to receive at the hands of the Sovereign Pontiff , the Arms and Ensigns of the Imperial dignity . To the Four ancient Towers of this Gate , Mahomet the Second , who took the City of Constantinople , added three more , to make it a Castle , wherein he and some of his Successors kept the greatest part of their Trea●ure : But now it is no more than an ●onourable Prison , where the Grand Signor shuts up his Slaves of quality , and other Prisoners of State , who if any of them happen to be Christians , they are permitted the liberty to have their Priests to say Mass in a small Chappel belonging to the Prison , as also to give them the Sacrament freely . Or if any of these Prisoners chance to be a Knight of Malta , or some other person of Quality , they are likewise suffer'd to walk about the City , or to go into the Country for some days , provided some Embassadour , or other publick Person , residing at Constantinople , will engage to the Aga of the Seven Towers for his forth-coming , when the Aga shall have occasion to send for him . This civility of the Turk is a great consolation to such as their misfortunes have enclos'd within the Seven Towers . Without which it would be a grievous thing for a man to find himself shut up for no offence committed , and condemned to perpetual Imprisonment , such as is that of the Seven Towers for a Knight of Malta who is taken Roving upon the Sea : For as for those that are taken in War , they are Releas'd again upon the conclusion of Peace . In this Castle it was that the unfortunate Prince Sultan Osman miserably ended his days in the year 1622. Hussein Bassa was also there strangled , and lyes buryed in a Tomb in the Garden belonging to the Prison . And out of this Prison it was that Monsieur de Beaujeu made his Escape , as we have already related , after he had endur'd Sixteen years Imprisonment , and large summs offer'd for his Ransom , which would not be taken . Without the Walls of the Castle , near one of the Towers , which compos'd in former times the Golden Gate , lye two large Sculptures of white Marble ; the one representing a man asleep , and resting his head upon his arm , and a Goddess Descending from Heaven with a Taper in her hand . Which may perhaps be rightly thought to be Endymion , and the Moon coming to visit him . The other , if I mistake not , represents the Nine Muses with the Horse Pegasus . Yet neither the one nor the other , tho pieces well enough wrought , are so exactly done , as to oblige an Artist to say , as some of our●Travellers do , that we have nothing in Europe that approaches near to the delicacy of those Pieces ; or that there is any such superexcellent design or spirit in the figures , which might deserve any extraordinary present , either to the Caimacan or Aga ; for leave to carry them away . Going by Sea from the Castle of the Seven Towers to the Serraglio , you meet with a square Tower upon the left hand , that stands in the Sea , distant from the City-wall about twenty paces . The Inhabitants of the Country call it Belisarius's Tower. Affirming , that it was in this Tower , where that great and famous Commander , for the recompence of all those signal services which he had done the Emperour Iustinian , in subduing his ene●ies as well in Asia and Affrica , as in Europe , being despoyl'd of all his Estate and Honours , and reduc'd to the extremity of necessity , after he had endur'd putting out both his eyes , was at length shut up , and forc'd for his subsistance , to hang out a Bag from the Grate of his Chamber , and cry to the Passengers , give poor Belisarius a Farthing , whom envy and no crime of his hath depriv'd of his eyes . Near to the place where stands this Tower , was formerly the Haven where Theodosius , Arcadius and their Successors kept their Galleys . A little above and over against which Haven , was formerly a large Piazza , in the midst of which stands the famous Historical Pillar , the upper part whereof is still to be seen ; but the lower part is so surrounded with Houses built upon it , that neither the Pedestal nor the Basis of the Pillar can be discover'd . It is all of Marble , encompass'd with figures which are very good Workmanship , representing a certain expedition of Arcadius . However they are not done by the hand of so good an Artist , as the figures upon Trajans Column at Rome . Yet it is much higher than that , and more room within , with a pair of Stairs quite up to the top : But at present 't is almost impossible to obtain the favour of going up . Nevertheless , there was a certain young Traveller , whom I will not name , more fortunate than wise , who some years since had obtain'd the liberty to get up , but when he was at the Top , he was so indiscreet as to shew himself openly , contrary to the cautions which were given him . More than that , nothing would serve him but that he must write his name upon the top of the Pillar , and flourish his Handkerchief at the end of his stick . All that walk'd the streets of that quarter , and all that liv'd in the Neighbourhood , were strangely supriz'd to perceive , contrary to custome , a fellow mounted upon the Top of the Pillar , but more especially when they perceiv'd him to be a Frank , with a Hat upon his head . Immediately all the street was full of people , and all that quarter of the City in a Hubbub . Some ran in heaps together , out of curiosity to behold that same new figure , believing it to be the soul of him that first erected the Column , and that he was come to reassume the place which his Statute had possess'd before : Others incens'd with jealousie , lest the Frank should prie into their houses , and discover the privacies of their Wives , ran out of their Habitations to see who 't was that was so bold as to get up to the top of the Pillar , believing the Frank ●ad taken his stand there , for his better discovery of their Women , and to enable him the better to make his choice . With these imaginations , and exagitations of Passion , away they flew to the Pillar , beseig'd the House that had given entrance to the Frank , and having fetch'd him down with a vengeance , away they hall'd him to the house of the Soubachi , or Commissary of that quarter . Not forgetting as they went along , to mall him with their fists , and knock their Papouches or shoes about his ears . Presently the Falaque and the Battoons were brought forth , and the poor Frank had pay'd dear for his curiosity , at least fifty good drubbs upon the soles of his feet , if his Embassadour , who was immediately advertiz'd of the accident , had not sent with all speed an Interpreter with a present to the Soubachi , and to tell him withal , that the Frank who had ascended the Column , was a stranger , who did not understand the custome of the Country , and therefore was not so much to be blam'd as the Turk who had given him admission : And that he ought to take the imprudence of a stranger into consideration , and for the Embassadors sake to pardon a fault committed out of weakness and folly , not out of design . The Rhetoric of the Present at length prevail'd , so that the indiscreet Frank was set at liberty , and the poor Porter of the Pillar receiv'd the payment in full which the Frank should have had . This Pillar is to be seen at a good distance out at Sea. But for the Haven that lay over against it , there is now no sign remaining that ever there was one ; no more than of that other Haven , somewhat nearer the Serraglio , which Iulian the Apostate built and call'd by his own name , the Iulian Harbour , afterwards Port Sophia , because it answer'd to the Piazza , where Sancta Sophia was built . As you approach nearer to the Port , still coasting along the walls next the Propontis , you meet with nothing considerable to stop your Caic , or little Vessel , till you come near the Serraglio Garden , of which I shall say the less , for that the Reader , by casting his eye upon the Draught , Fig. 3. may discover more clearly and without any trouble , all that concerns that out-side of this famous Palace , than a tedious relation in words ; the in-side being only known to those that are enclos'd within it . Near to the place where stands the Kiosc appertaining to the Bostangis-Bachy , there stands a Fountain to which the Greeks pay a most singular devotion all the year long , especially upon the day of Christs Transfiguration , at which time they throng to this Fountain , which they call 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , or the Fountain of Sanctification . There they wash themselves , cover themselves with the Sand that lyes about it , and make a long recital of the extraordinary virtues of that wholesome water . The Greeks have a great number of these miraculous Fountains . There is hardly a Village or great Town where you may not meet with one : And where there are none , which passing through some vein of Metal , may be thought to partake of some mineral quality , the Papa's or Greek Priests know how to find out some Well or other near their Church , which they presently endow with some admirable virtue , which if it be of no effect to those that drink it , yet proves not a little profitable to themselves . Near to this Fountain stands the Bostangis Bachi's or the chief Gardiner's Kiosc . This Kiosc is a large cover'd Balcone , erected without the Walls of the Serraglio , jutting out upon the Propontis , of which it overlooks a great part , as also of the Thracian Bosphorus . The Turks take a great delight in these sort of Buildings , there being few Serraglio's which have not several belonging to them . Some in the middle of their Gardens , for the benefit of the fresh Air ; others by the Sea-side , where there is any conveniency ; others upon the tops of their houses like cover'd Platforms . These Kioscs are very proper to recreate the musing humour of the Turks , who there place themselves upon a low Couch or Sopha , with a Pipe of Tobacco , or some Flingeans or dishes of Coffee , and in that posture they sit sometimes two or three hours in Company without any discourse , or saying any thing one to another , but only some few broken half words utter'd between sip and sip as they take off their Liquor , which they drink very hot and at several suppings . This Kiosc of the Bostangis-Bachi is nothing so much frequented as the rest . For he being a person that manages the fourth Employment in the Empire , has no leisure to take his pleasure , or the fresh Air in his Kiosc , nor to delight himself with the charming prospect which the situation of his Pavillion affords him . He has business enough to look after the Grand Serraglio , and those other Houses of Pleasure belonging to the Sultan , over all which he has the superintendency , he also takes care of the Government of all the Towns and Villages that stand upon the shoar of the Bosphorus and Propontis , which are all under his jurisdiction . Out of the Kiosc there is a passage into the Garden of the Serragl●o , descending through a little door down a short pair of stairs that are built close by the water-side . Leaving this Kiosc , the first thing you meet with , keeping still along by the walls , that here encompass a part of the Serraglio , is a great number of Cannons ready charg'd , and lying levell with the water , to secure the Entrance into the Serraglio , and the Haven , against any that would pretend to make a forcible Entrie . The biggest and most remarkable of these great Guns , is that which made the last shot against the City of Bagdat , and constrain'd the City , through the disorder it occasion'd , to surrender to Sultan Amurath . It is look't after with more care than the rest , as having a Chamber by it self to distinguish it from the meaner sort . However these Cannons , tho they are always loaden , are seldom discharg'd , unless it be upon the first or second day of Bairam Moon , at which time some are constrain'd to open their loud Throats to give the Musselmen notice of the approach of their great Festival , and that Ramazan being past , they are no longer oblig'd to fast . They are also discharg'd upon some solemn Thanksgiving days , as when the Sultan has Conquer'd some new Province . At other times they only serve to guard the Haven and the Serraglio , except when any great Military Officer is condemn'd to be cast into the Sea , and then they give him a single Gun , just as they pitch him into the Water . In the midst of these great Guns stands one of the four Gates of the Serraglio , that is to say , the Gate which belongs to the Serraglio , call'd Bostangi Capi. It is flank'd with two great round Towers , cover'd each with its proper Kiosc , shadowed with two great Cypress Trees , that grow without the Serraglio by the Sea side . At the foot of these Towers stand two Bostangi Centinels , who are the Capigi's or Guards of the Gate ; so that nothing can be carry'd in or out , without their permission , who do not grant it easily , unless it be to the Officers of the Serraglio : Besides , it is through this Gate that the Sultanesses pass , when the Grand Signor carries them forth to accompany him in his pastimes upon the Canal of the Black Sea , which he frequently does ; or when they go to the Serraglio at Scutari , which stands directly over against this Gate . This is that part which was formerly call'd Acropolis , because it is the extream point of Land upon which Constantinople is situate . It now bears the Name of the Point of the Serraglio , or Sarai Bourma . Having doubl'd the Point of the Serraglio , and pass'd by a small Fountain where the Ships take in fresh Water , you come to two other Kioscs , or close Pavillions , which Sultan Solyman caused to be built by the Water-side to give his Sultannesses the pleasure of beholding his Fleets as they Sail'd in and out , which in his Reign were more numerous and in better order than now they are . The first of these Kioscs was for the Women , of which he had a good Number . It is fomewhat higher rais'd than the other , and the passage to it from the Serraglio is such as will not admit the persons passing to and fro to be seen . It is built upon Arches all in Length , consisting of three fair Chambers , every one adorn'd with several gilded Alcoves , furnish'd with their Sopha's or low Couches , having their Minders , or Mattresses and Cushions belonging to them , spread with rich Coverlets of painted Linnen and Cloth of Tissue . These Sopha's or Beds are placed near the Windows , wherein are Lattices , through which the Women may see and not be seen ; for should they be seen , it might be as much prejudicial to the party discover'd , as to him that made the discovery . Yet all these Embellishments in the Sultannesses Kiosc , are nothing in comparison to the great Hall or Room in the other Kiosc . There is nothing in the World that can be thought to be more noble and magnificent ; whether you look upon the Marble , the Pillars , the Artificial Water-works , the stately Tapestries , the Galleries round about it , the charming Prospect which appears on every side , or the costly gilded Fretwork of the Ceiling , which would almost raise a mans thoughts to beleive it something of Enchantment . I could never get liberty to take a draught of it , by reason the Bostangi Bachi's coming was still expected when I was there : and indeed I was not gone above twenty paces from the Door of the Kiosc , but he came into the Garden , and having perceiv'd me , caus'd me to be sent for , and demanded of the person that was with me , what I did there ? who made answer , that in regard I had earnestly desir'd him to let me see some small part of the infinite Grandeur of the Master of the World ( a Title they ordinarily give the Grand Signor ) he had only given me liberty to look into the Kiosc through the Key-hole of the Door . However if a man watch his opportunity he may easily get admittance , giving only a small Present to the Guards . So true is that in all places that Horace tells us , All ways are safe , all Doors too open wide , Where Silver undertakes to be the Guide . Now in regard these sort of Buildings are not erected near the Sea-side , but only for the sake of those pleasures which the Water affords , there are always tending near to these Kioscs five or six small Gallies , Kaics or other light Vessels , which are still ready to receive the Grand Signor and his Train , when he has a mind to take his pleasure upon the Channel . All which little Galleys or Vessels are richly embellish'd with all sorts of Moresco work , and painted on all sides . The very Oars and grapling Hooks have their share of Gilding and Painting , and all to add to the delight and magnificence of the Grand Signor . By what I have already said , it may be easily conceiv'd that the Grand Serraglio is a Peninsula wash'd on almost every side with the Sea , but encompass'd round with a flat Wall fortifi'd with several round and square Towers that stand very near one to another . On the greatest part of which Towers every Night is plac'd a Guard of Azamoglans or Tribute Children , not yet capable of any higher employment , to prevent any Disorders that might happen either within or without the Serraglio , and to watch the breaking out of any Fires , which do frequent mischief to Constantinople . This Wall encloses the Gardens belonging to the Serraglio , in the midst of which are the Buildings , rais'd upon the highest part of the Promontory , formerly call'd the Land of Demetrius . Now it is not to be imagin'd , that the Gardens of the Serraglio are in any manner to compare with that of the Thuilleries , Versailles , Fountainbleau , nor with the Gardens of several private Gentlemen in France ; nor is it to be thought , that the Buildings which they enclose , can boast of any thing comparable to the Louvre , the Escurial , or the Magnificent Palaces of many Christian Princes ; for there is nothing beautiful or regular that appears in all the outside of the Building . So that if it vaunt it self over all the Palaces of the Universe , it is only the Prospect which renders it the most delightful Palace in the World. The Gardens observe no Order , being planted with Cypress , Lawrels , and other Trees , which are always Green , to shade the Sultannesses ( that walk under the protection of their verdure ) from being seen by those of Galata , and the neighbouring parts . As for the Buildings that compose the Body of the Serraglio , they are rear'd without any regular Order of Architecture , without any Symmetry or Proportion ; only a great heap of Lodgings and Apartiments , rudely separated one from the other after the manner of so many pitch'd Pavillions , and rais'd for the most part upon great Arches , underneath and on each side of which , are the Offices , and Lodgings belonging to the Officers ; for the upper part is only for the Sultannesses . Therefore into these lower Stories and Offices belonging to the Serraglio , it is lawful for any man that pleases to enter without being question'd . Farther than that , it is impossible to see or know what is done in any other part of the Palace , more especially to give any exact relation touching the same : It being a Crime which nothing can expiate but Death , or the loss of that which makes a man what he is . Neither do I believe that any Traveller would be willing to pay so dear for his Curiosity . This his most Christian Majesty most perfectly understood , and therefore as I had the honour to be discours'd by him three times concerning my Travels , one time among the rest he ask'd me with a smile , whether I had not found out a way to get into those private parts sometimes ? I made him answer , No ; For that had I done it , it would have cost me tha● which I esteem'd above the whole Empire of the Grand Signor . This suddain and unexpected reply , which might be variously interpreted , put the King , Monsieur ( the King's Brother ) and all the persons of Quality into such a laughter , that the Queen and the other Ladies , not having much minded my last words , ask'd the reason why they all laugh'd so heartily ? Whereupon Mon●ieur , with his ordinary freedom told her , that his Majesty having demanded of me , whether I had ever been in the private Apartments belonging to the Sultannesses of the Serraglio , where none but the Eunuchs are admitted , I had made him answer , No , for that it would have cost me that which I valu'd more than all the Ottoman Empire . Therefore to explain my self , and that I might go on with the Relation I was making of the inviolable Order of the Serraglio , I put it off another way , interpreting my words , that I would not quit the Christian Religion for the whole Empire of the Universe , which they must ab●ure that enter into that part of the Serraglio , unless he will sustain the irreparable dammage of Turkish cruelty and Christian infamy at the same time . However notwithstanding it be a thing so difficult to be admitted into the Womens Lodgings , if there be any young Traveller , who has a mind to venture fairly to satisfie his Curiosity in this particular , his best way will be to make some Jewish Woman his friend , especially one of those that often visit the Sultannesses to sell them Trifles and Gewgaws . Such a one may be easily overcome by a Present , ( the Primum Mobile that does all things in Turkey , as well as in other places ) and then by her assistance , 't is but putting himself in Womans Apparel , which is easie to be done , considering the Fashion of the Jewish Habit , and a Vail over his Face , and so to follow the Female Jew as ●er Servant or Slave , by which means he will not fail of Admission . But as the danger is very great , so I would not advise any person to pay so dear for the liberty of seeing that , which perhaps will not be worth his labour when he has done it : For my part , I shall desire the Reader to content himself with a faithful and exact description of what may be seen without any Risco or hazard . And indeed a man may guess at the inside by the Gate it self , which has nothing at all of Magnificence , resembling rather the Gate of some old Monastery , or some Ancient Farm house , rather than the Gate of a Palace so famous as the Serraglio ; and yet from this Gate it is , that the Court of the Grand Signor derives its name . The Turkish Grandees think themselves happy , in having the Liberty only of passing through this Gate to the Divan . For at other times admission is forbid to all , unless it be the Hachim Bachi , or chief Physitian , and the Katib , who may be said to be peculiar Chaplain to the Sultan . An Explanation of Figure IV. A. The Gate where stand the Capigi's or Porters of the Serraglio . B. Two great Niches made in the fashion of Gates . C. Four little round Towers which are like so many small round Chimneys ; they are only for Ornament , and to shew that such a Gate gives entrance into a Royal Pallace . D. The Gate thorow which the Grand Signor enters in to Sancta Sophia , when he goes to his Devotions . THE GATE OR ENTRANCE INTO THE SERAGLIO . F. An old Sepulchre made now a Receptacle for water , for the use of those who have occasion to wash or drink . A Description of Sancta Sophia . THe Temple of Sancta Sophia stands so near to the Seraglio , that I cannot pass by the Description of it in this place , it being the chief Mosquee in Constantinople , and the Royal Chapel for the Grand Signor and his Retinue . This famous Temple , of which the Greeks have all along so highly boasted , and which Travellers have so often admir'd , is seated upon the highest and most beautiful part of all Constantinople , viz. the uppermost part of the Promontory of Acropolis . Some of the most Learned Greeks that live in Constantinople , of which the number is not great , have often assur'd me , that they have read in their Histories , that the great Constantine was the first Founder of Sancta Sophia , having laid the Foundation of the structure some years before his death . For this same pious Emperour having lay'd the Foundation of St. Peters in Rome , had resolv'd according to the model of that Temple to build another at Constantinople , which he design'd to have dedicated to the eternal and uncreated wisdom of the Son of God ; but death having prevented him before he could finish the work , his son Constance , who succeeded him , went on with the Building , after the same form and model which his father had began . However the Platform and Ground work of the ancient Sophia was nothing like to that which now we see . For it was proportional to the Ground-work of the ancient St. Peters Church , which 't is well known was very like to that of St Paul's in Rome , that is to say , a very long Church , with two Wings at the end composing the figure of a Cross , the whole surrounded with great Ga●leries supported with Pillars for the use of the Women , who formerly sat apart from the men at Church . But whatever was the figure of the Ancient Sophia , certainly it was Built in the same place where the present Sophia stands , or else very near it : In regard that this place being the most beautiful and proper for an edifice of that importance , 't is not likely that it was built in any other part . Unless it might be brought for an argument , because the Palace of Constantine , and his successors , did not stand where now the Seraglio stands , but at least a League distant , therefore the Me●ropolitan Church could not be far from it . But to that it may be answer'd , Princes usually have their private Chapels in their own Pallaces , and never go to the Cathedral , but when the necessity of the publick solemnity requires a more extraordinary magnificence and grandeur , or the pomp of a numerous cavalcade . And it may be truly said , that there is no Nation under Heaven that so much affect vanity and luster as the Greeks do . So that nowithstandin● the slavery and extremity of misfortune and misery , to which they a●e red●c'd , nothing remains to testify the Antiquity of that Nation , but an insupportable pride and vain-glory . On the other side it may be said , that the Patriarchs retinue , which consisted of all Religious persons , Priests and Church-men , did not well agree with the Cou●tiers , there was always some quarrel or other among them ; so that either for pomp or quietness sake , there was a necessity that the Palace and the Cathedral should stand at a good distance asunder . But whatsoever were the Antient situation of this Church , in regard it was only cover'd with wood , from thence it happen'd , that not only the Church , but the City it self , has been defac'd by several conflagrations , in the Reigns of Theodosius the younger , and Iustinian . The last of which Emperours took up a resolution to rebuild it from the ground , either that he might raise an eternal Monument to his Honour , or else to prevent any future casualties that might happen either to the Church or City by fire . For he knew well that this Church had been several times burnt , once by the malice of her enemies the Arrians , in the Reign of Theodosius the great ; another time through the fury of the enemies of St. Iohn Chrysostome , who set the Church on fire after they had enclos'd all those within it , that would not consent to the Patriarchs Banishment ; which was afterwards consented to by Theodosius the younger . Iustinian therefore rebuilt it from the bottom to the top ; and changing not only the Model but the Materials , gave it that form which now graces the whole structure . He made not the least use of so much as a stick of wood in the whole building , save only to hang the Bells on , and in some few places where it was absolutely necessary . Nevertheless the two great Gates ( which he put at the entrance into the Church ) being of wood , ( though otherwise rare Artful pieces of Workmanship , and such as for their firmness and soliditie might have lasted many years , yet ) were not able to withstand another Conflagration , which happen●ed in the Reign of Michael Curopalates , who though a person of a lew'd life , yet fail'd not to put up new Doors , which being all of Brass , not only serv'd to resist the fury of any future fire , but also to eternize his renown . To which purpose , he caus'd to be put up in great Engraven Characters which are still to be read over the said doors , these words , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , with certain Greek Cyphers , Garlanded round about with Labarum , or the mark of Christianity , denoting the year wherein he finish'd that magnificent reparation of the doors of Sancta Sophia . When this Church was finish'd by Iustinian , he lookt upon it to be so beautiful , that believing his Temple surpass'd the Temple of Solomon in Magnificence , he would when he beheld it often repeat these words , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , I have out-done Solomon . Certainly that good Emperour was of opinion that the Temple of Solomon was nothing in comparison with his . And perhaps he might well think so , in regard that during the space of Seventeen years , which were spent in the Building of that Church , all the Revenues of Egypt were set a part , to defray the charges , which though not amounting to above Two Millions of Gold a year , made up a sum very considerable for that time . Besides , he erected close by the Church a most magnificent Monastery , and endow'd it with large Revenues , to the value of eight Hundred Thousand Crowns per Annum , for the maintenance of Nine Hundred Priests , who were daily to perform Religious duties , together with a great number of other Officer , who had continual care of the Repairs of the Church . But how magnificent soever it were , considering what Sancta Sophia is now , I cannot believe that ever it came near the famous Temple of Solomon , in regard we do not find it equal neither in largeness nor sumptuousness of work , to the Church of St. Peters in Rome . However the Greeks at this day strenuously maintain otherwise , and would make ye believe that St. Peters in Rome is a mean thing in comparison of Sancta Sophia . Though they who have seen both the one and the other , and are not deprav'd or byass'd in their judgments , may easily determine the contrary . Nevertheless having already given a brief account of the first Foundations , and chiefest Repairs of this Church , I shall next give a description of the Platform and Draught hereto annext , by which a shrewd conjecture may be given what it is now , and what formerly it was , as far as concerns the body of the structure , after Iustinian had Rebuilt it . The whole body of the Church of Sancta Sophia * wants but very little of a perfect square ; it being in the inside , not above Two and Forty Fathom in length , and Eight and Thirty in breadth , situate however like all other Churches , East and West . The whole Platform represents a Greek Cross , almost as broad as long , as it were enchas'd in a wall'd square Church-yard . A certain excellent Architect , whose name was Anthemius , was the Inventor of the Modell ; but he made no great progress in the structure , for death prevented him , he dying soon after he had laid the first Foundation . Which was the reason the work was neither carry'd on nor brought to perfection , according to the Inventer of the first Architect . In short , he that has but ordinary skill in Architecture , may plainly see , that the Ground-work and superstructure of Sancta Sophia were the inventions of different persons . For the Ground-work had extent sufficient allow'd , but the body of the Building is not answerable to it . So that History tells us what a deal of trouble and labour it cost to bring the work to perfection . There was always some considerable defect or other , so that when one side was built up the other side either fell quite down , or else considerable riffts and gaps display'd themselves in the walls . ( So that the same ill fate may be said to have attended Sancta Sophia , as befell St. Paul's in Rome , which before it was finish'd threatned ruine to all the neighbouring Houses . ) Afterwards they found out means and wayes to remedy all these defects : At what time one Isidorus the younger , together with some other Architects , laboured so successfully in Repairing the Domo , and strengthning it by taking it down lower , and buttressing it much more strongly than before , that he brought it to that perfection which it has conserv'd to this day , notwithstanding the frequent Earth-quakes that have since thrown down other parts of the Church , such as that which happen'd in the Reign of Iustinian the I. to whom we are beholding for the finishing this Church , and for the Body of the Civil Law , or the Iustinian Codex , this Earth-quake overthrew all the eastern part of Sancta Sophia , ( which you find mark'd in the Platform with the letters A. B. C. H. ) and the Semi Domo , at what time the Cupola , which was above , with its fall brake the Altar , the holy doors of the Sanctum Sanctorum , ( mark'd a , a , a. ) together with the Ambon or Preachers Pulpit , which stood assuredly in the same place , or else over against that of the Mufti , ( which you find in the Platform draught , pointed and mark'd with the letter C. ) Iustinian caus'd these Ruins to be set up again , and to be strengthen'd with four Buttresses , two large , and two lesser ones . The two largest of these Buttresses support two small Pillars ( mark'd d ) which , like those that are opposite to them upon the western side , near the doors , serve to support the semi-dome , one part of which leans upon them , and the other upon four great Pillars mark'd D. and upon the Arch which they sustain . These four great Pillars , with the four Arches that joyn them together , support the great Domo of the Church . All the world must acknowledge it to be a bold piece of workmanship , and well made ; for it is very large , containing Eighteen Fathoms Diameter , and Three Fathoms in depth , letting in the light at Twenty Four Windows , which however are very small and low . In the spaces between the Windows are large portions of a Circle , which as they diminish , terminate about the middle of the Domo , where they form the shape of a Rose , which was formerly embellish'd with several figures in Mosaic work , as the Twenty Four portions of a Circle that compose it also were . But the Turks have now defac'd them , and daub'd 'em over with white Plaistring . From this part of the top of the Church it was , that the usual vanity of the Greeks would make you believe , that it was impossible for any man to look down to the Ground , being so high , as they said , that the sight of those that stood below could hardly reach it . True it is , that History tells us of another Domo that far surpass'd the present ; but that , it seems to spare the curious the trouble and the lost labour of staring upon it at such a distance where they could not discover it , fell down it self to the ground , where it might be discern'd with more ease . It brake down with its fall several things , among the rest the Emperour and the Patriarch's seats , which were plac●d at the two parts of the Church mark'd with the letter c. However , as I have said , Iustinian caus'd it to be set up again , and to make it more light , as they that believe the Greeks assure us , he caus'd it to be made all of pumice stone , with some light sort of Mortar to cement the parts together . Could I have got up to the top to have examin'd the truth , I would have done it with all my heart , but as things now stand , no Christian is permitted to soar so high , unless he will be content to leave his Preputium below , for fear of over charging the building , which according to the opinion of the Turks , would certainly fall with the weight of an Uncircumcis'd Christian. I leave it therefore to others to satisfy the Readers Curiosity in that particular . But this I am sure of , that all the under part of the Domo is lin'd all over with several Crosses trefoyld , and flower-delis'd in Mosaic work , and that the outside is cover'd with Lead , with a Gilded Crescent instead of a Pinacle in the place were the Cross formerly shew'd it self . This Domo , of which the largeness and the place are mark'd in the following Plate with a circle of points , covers the best part of that which may be call'd the Body of the Church . For the Quire was enclos'd from the eastern extremity of this Circle , to the separation mark'd with a double line pointed at the letters a a a , which shew the place where stood the holy doors , and it extended to the right and left hand as far as the two semi-circles mark'd H. H. The entrance into the Church was from the west extremity of the same Circle , to the Three doors of the middle at the letter I. Extending to the right and left hand like the Quire , between the two letters , H. H. which shew the two West semi-circles opposite to those of the Quire. The space cover'd by the Domo , is just the middle of the Greek Cross , which composes the figure of the Church . The head of this Greek Cross toward the East contains the Quire and Sanctum Sanctorum ; the lower end towards the west , comprehends the entrance and doors of the Church . The wings consist of two Parallelogram spaces , one of which runs to the North , and the other to the South , mark'd in the Platform with the directions f. G. Now in regard this Cross is as it were enchas'd in a square that represents the walls of the Church , there appear also four other void spaces at the four Corners of the Square , which are mark'd with the letter H. An Explanation of Figure V. ✚ The middle of the Church of Sancta Sophia cover'd with a large Domo . A. The place were formerly stood the only Altar belonging to this Church . a a a. The Doors of the Sanctum Sanctorum . B. The Turks Mehrabe , which is to them instead of an Altar , toward which all the Mahometans turn themselves when they pray ; it is made like a Nich in a wall , wherein they put the Alchoran ; and is plac'd toward Mecka , where Mahomet lyes intomb'd , to which part of the world all the Mosquees are turn'd . C. The Muftie's Mamber , or the place where he reads Prayers during Ramazan , or Lent , and all the time of Bairam , or upon other solemn Festivals of the Mahometans . ● . The Grand Signors entrance into the Mosquee . ● . The Grand Signors Closet where he hears divine Worship . c. The places where formerly stood the Seats for the Patriarch and Emperour . THE PLATFORM OF SANCTA SOPHIA . D. Are the Four large Pillars which support the Domo . d. Are Four little Pillars , which together with the Four large Pillars , support six large Semi-Domes , of which Three appear toward the East , and Three toward the West . E. All these letters denote so many easie stair-cases , by which the Women went up to the Galleries . F. All these semicircular overtures , are so many windows that give light to the Church . f. The doors through which the Priests and Deacons went to perfume the Womens Gallery . G. These are four great Columns of speckl'd Egyptian Marble all of a piece , each Four Foot in Diameter . These Four Columns sustain Six other lesser than themselves , which form the Galleries above on each side of the Church . H. These are Four Semi-Circles form'd out of Four great Pillars , and two other lesser , between which are two Columns of Porphyrie plac'd upon Pedestalls of White Marble . These Two Columns support six other lesser belonging to the upper Galleries , that sustain the Cupola above . I. The great Gate or Door leading into the Church , having Four others that are less and lower of each side . K. The Stone work rais'd between the Four great Columns , and the Four great Pillars which were formerly separate , but are now contiguous by reason of the Brick-work , represented by little points belonging to this letter . L. The great Vestibulum or Porch , into which you may enter at sixteen doors , Nine to the East , Five to the West , One to the North , and One to the South . M. The Four Steeples . N. The first Portico or Vestibulum , formerly call'd the Nartex . O. A great square Tower , which was formerly the Steeple where the Bells hung . P. The pair of stairs that lead to the Cocks that belong to the great Cistern under the Church . For all the under part of the Foundation is square and full of water , that gently falls from the roof ; which has made some to think that a man may go by water through subterraneal passages from Sancta Sophia to the Sea. Q. The outward Doors of the Church . R. The Fountains where the Turks wash themselves before they go to prayers . S. A Court belonging to some Officers of the Mosquee . T. Their Chambers . V. A great Vessel where they wash their linnen and other cloathes . X. A little Chapel , formerly the Vestrey , like the Vestrey of St. Peters , or St. Stephens the Round in Rome . Now 't is only a place where they keep Oates and Hey for the conveniency of the Grand Signors stables adjoyning . Having sufficiently describ'd the Domo that covers the Cross , which forms the middle part of Sancta Sophia , I now come to what is to be found round about adjoyning . The Eastern part of the Cross is a large semi-circle cover'd with a Demi-Dome , made like the back of an Oven . Round about this great semi-circle which is taken out of the breadth of the grand Domo are to be seen Three others lesser , which are also cover'd with their half Cupola's , of which Two stand upon the right and left hand , and the farthest of all in the midst . Under this third semi-circle stood formerly the Sanctum Sanctorum . The West part of this Cross is the same with the East , form'd out of a large semi-circle , cover'd with its semi-dome , and three others by the sides of it ; with this exception , that the middlemost , where stand the widest doors of the Church , does not finish in a semi-circle like that to the East , but is cut into right Angles , and is cover'd with an Arch and not a Cupola . The four smaller , semi-circles that appear upon the sides of the two large ones , are form'd in their extremities of one part of the four large Pillars that support the grand Domo , mark'd in the Platform draught by the letter D. and the other part of the four lesser Pillars , two of which toward the East support the Semi-Dome that covers the Sanctum Sanctorum , and the other toward the West sustain the Arch that turns it self over the three doors of the middle of the Church . These Four little Pillars are mark'd in the Platform draught by the letter d. Between these eight Pillars that form the four lesser semi-circle● above-mention'd , stand eight Columns of Porphiry , two under each semi-circle . They sustain six others over them of the Womens Gallery , some of which are more for ornament than use , as you may see in the following Draughts , Fig. VIII . and IX . of the inside of the Church . Behind every one of these semi-circles as well toward the East , as toward the West , is a four-square space which might be call'd a Chapel , were it the custome among the Greeks to have several Chapels in the same Church ; but you may call it a Tetragon , in regard of the figure of these four Tetragons which is four-square . Neither of these have more than three little Windows , which hardly suffice to let in a gloomie light . The four Corners of this Tetragon are supported with four Pillars of speckl'd Marble , among which , those that are next the four large Pillars that sustain the Domo are now contiguous , as being united by a piece of Brickwork rais'd up for strengthning of those four great Pillars , against the frequent Earth-quakes that shake the Church . However this Brick-work seems to be so ancient , as to make us believe it was rather rais'd by the Greeks than by the Turks . It is mark'd in the Platform draughts by points at the letter K. Between these four Tetragons or four-square spaces , are two other spaces somewhat oblong , one to the North and the other to the South . They are also like the former sustain'd by four Pillars of speckl'd marble . But there is some difference in the situation of these two Columns : For whereas the other Pillars stand at the four Corners , these stand in the middle of the space , and making a particular and very narrow Roof , which they support , divide as it were the space into two parts . These four Columns , and the oblong space wherein they are rais'd from the two Wings of the Greek Cross , upon the frame whereof the whole Fabric is rear'd ; and the four Tetragons are as it were the four spaces , that would appear round about a Cross plac'd upon a Table in a square . The Twenty Four Columns that support the Roofs of these six places which I have describ'd are all of the same thickness , the same bigness and of the same Marble . But the four other Pillars , that appear upon each side of the Church , between the two large Pillars of the grand Domo , are much higher and bigger , though they are all of the same stone , and all of one piece . These four Pillars support six others that belong to the Womens lower Gallery , which support the second , as well upon the right as the left Wing of the Church , as you may see in the Draughts of the inside of the Church . And thus all the Pillars that rise from the Foundation of Sancta Sophia , are no more than Forty , that is to say , twenty of a side . These Forty lower Columns support Sixty others in the Womens Galleries above , so that all the Pillars in Sancta Sophia , as well above as below , exceed not the number of a Hundred in the body of the Church , with four of a middle size , and three small ones , which are over the doors , and make in all a Hundred and Seven Pillars . All these Pillars are well turn'd , but their Chapters do not answer at all to the beauty of their turning . For it is a hard thing to distinguish of what Order they are , unless you will call it by the name of the Grecian-Gothick . The Sanctum Sanctorum was formerly confin'd within the space which is mark'd with the letters a a a. and B. now the Greeks , who never say above one Mass in a day in one Church , never had in Sancta Sophia , nor in any other of their Churches , above one Altar which stands on that side which you will find mark'd in the Platform draught with the letter A. This custom was also observ'd a long time in the Latine Church , as well as in the Greek . But when the number of Christians infinitely increas'd , the necessity of having more Priests augmented the number also of Altars , and Sacrifices , to satifie the devotion of a great number of people , that were not able to crowd together to hear one single service in one place . This Altar is by the Greeks to this day call'd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , enclos'd within a space which they call 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and the Latins Sanctum Sanctorum . This place is always the most Eastern part of the Church , and terminated on the one side in a semi-circle cover'd with a half Domo ; on the other side in an enclosure , which the Greeks call'd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , or the stand of Images . This enclosure was made of wood , richly carv'd and adorn'd with sundry figures , having three doors , the middlemost being the biggest , and two others that were less of each side . The middlemost was only for the Priest to go in and out during the Sacrifice . The second on the right hand admitted only the Deacon ; and the other on the left was free for the other Officers . Between the middlemost door and the two others stood the Images of our Lady , St. Iohn the Baptist , and over the Three doors were the figures of the Twelve Apostles . The Images that stood upon this Eikonostation , were always in high veneration among the Greeks above any other ; they lighted up a great number of Tapers before them , and frequently ador'd them with their Metaniai or Genuflections to the Earth . This is a brief account of the Sanctum Sanctorum , before the Turks turn'd the Sancta Sophia into a Mosquee . But now the case is quite another thing . The Altar was broken down by Mahomet , at what time ( with the City ) he took the Church from the Christians , and dedicated it to his false Mahomet . Now in regard the Turks in their Mosquees offer to God only the Sacrifice of thanksgivings , there is nothing within their Churches which is particularly sanctify'd , but the Mirabe or Maharab , which is a sort of large Niche in the wall , where they put their Alkoran . That of Sancta Sophia , is all of Marble , embellish'd with great store of Moresco work and Gilding . It is mark'd in the Platform draught with the letter B. Neither is it plac'd directly in the middle of the uppermost part of the Mosquee , for that being bilt by the Christians , the situation was not convenient for the Turks , who when they pray are oblig'd to turn always toward Koble , or that part where the City of Mecca stands . So that seeing they could not alter the situation of the Church to the South-East , which is the only point of the Compass the Turks adore , they have only mended the situation of their Maharah , to turn it toward their beloved point , for the better observation of the Musselmen . This Maharah is rivited into a little counterwall , that reaches no farther than the first Windows , and at the hight of the arch re●urns again to receive into its concavity , the ●ooks which the Imans make use of when they read Prayers . This counter-wall is mark'd in the Platform draught with two semi-circular lines at the East end of the Church , where now this Maharah ●tands , and where was formerly the Synthronos of ●he Patriarch of Constantinople . Over against the place mark'd with the direction ● . as also the place opposite to it , was formerly a ●assage through which the Priests went from the Vestry to the Altar . But those two passages are now stopp'd up , and that which is mark'd with ●he said Direction , is now made a Closet , Wainscoted Guilded , and spread with rich Carpets , with a large Window all the length of the Closet , glaz'd and lattis'd , where the Grand Signor hears Prayers , and pays his Devotions to his false Prophet . He enters into it through a door which is near the Serraglio , and which never opens but only ●o himself , being mark'd with the direction ● . at which being enter'd , he assends through a little lattic'd Gallery into his Closet , where he has a full view of all that are in the Mosquee , without being ●een by any . This Closet is mark'd in the Platform Draught , by the points next to the direction ● . There are also other things mark'd in the Platform Drughts with points , as the singing mens Terraces at the direction D. the M●fti's Mamber at C. and the Preachers Pulpit at G. Having sufficiently describ'd the Cross and inner part of the Platform of Sancta Sophia , I shall now describe the Compass of the Walls , which area square building , enveloping the Cross that gives form to the Church . The Eastern part toward the Serraglio had four doors formerly belonging to it , of which two are now stopp'd up , the third is for the Grand Signors privacy alone , and the fourth is public to all , and mark'd with the letter Q. Through this door you descend twelve steps to enter into Sancta Sophia , in regard the Piazza of the Serraglio is much higher than the Foundation of the Church . Between these two last doors contiguous to the Walls stand the four Buttresses which Iustinian caus'd to be erected , to support the oriental Demi-dome , which being thrown down by an Earth-quake , and having broke down the Sanctum Sanctorum with the fall , he caus'd it to be replac'd where it stands at the two extremities of this oriental part . At the letter M. Stand two Towers , of which that on the South-side is the biggest and lowest of all the four that stand at the four Corners of Sancta Sophia , as being built in hast , after that Mahomet II. had chang'd the Church into a Mosquee ; and was the first piece of Building which the Turks ever erected in Constantinople . The South and North part of Sancta Sophia differ very little , as having both the one and the other , Five pair of stairs , Twelve Windows , and Two doors apiece . Of the Five pair of staires there are Two very large that ascend to the top of the Church , and which were not only Built to accommodate the Women in their going up to the Galleries , but also serv'd to support the Doma of the Church . They are mark'd in the Platform Draught with the letter E. The Three other pair of stairs go no higher then into the Womens lower Gallery . And of these , two pair are plac'd at the two Corners that make the square of the Church , opening into the Church-yard , for the sake of the Women , who by that means went and came without being seen of the Men. But the door to the middle most pair is within the Church , as serving only for the use of the Priests and Deacons , whose business it was to perfume the Womens Galleries , during Divine service . The doors belonging ot the stairs within the Church , open only to the Galleries above . The Twelve Windows in each of the fronts North and South are very small , contain'd under four large Arches . The four doors which formerly open'd to the North and South are now stopp'd up , all but one to the South mark'd with the letter Q. All the West part of Sancta Sophia is taken up with two Vestibulums or Portico's , and a little Court that lyes before them . The biggest of these two Portico's which joyn to the Church is double ; that is to say , one above , and another below . The lowermost is the true Portico to the Church , for that above is only a Gallery belonging to the Gunaikeion . The inferiour Portico opens with Sixteen doors , Nine to the East , Five to the West , One to the North and another to the South . All these doors are of Marble , and the folders are of Copper or Brass , adorn'd with several flat Crosses , Trefoild or Flowerdeliz'd ; from all which the Turks have taken the thwart pieces , not believing that Christ , whom they acknowledge to be a great Prophet , was ever Cr●cify'd himself in person , but only that some Fantom or Apparition seemingly suffer'd in his stead . And therefore they cannot indure to behold at the very entrance into the Mosquee , such marks of Jewish cruelty , and Christian stupidity , in reference to the Article of our Saviours passion . The space between the doors is lin'd all with fair Marble of various colours , and border'd with Alablaster Garlands of several sorts . Over all this Marble Embroidery , that reaches to the top of the Gates , are several Figures and Crosses in Mosaic work , which the Turks have not yet so much defac'd , but that above the Three doresin the middle you may discern the Picture of our Saviour giving his blessing to an Emperour prostrated at his feet , with a Panhagia , or our Lady on his Right hand , and the Prodromos or Iohn the Baptist upon his left . The upper part of the space between these West doors of the Portico , is enlighten'd with three small Windows , contain'd under an Arch ; the lower part being full of small Terraces , which I have not mark'd , in regard they are only of wood . At the two extremities of this Portico , are two large entrances or Portalls , where are to be seen several Pictures in Mosaic work , and other pieces of Carving upon the Brazen Folders , and these words already recited , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , with several Cyphers denoting the year when the doors were set up . Then ●nder each of these large Portalls , are two lesser doors , that lead to the Womens Gallery up an easy pair of stairs , mark'd with the letter E. Going out of this Portico , at the West side , you enter into another Portico , neither so long nor so large as the former . It was by the Greeks call'd Nartex , mark'd in the Platform draught with the letter N. Now in regard this Nartex serv'd to no other use then to receive the Penitents and Catechumeni or Proselytes , who were not admitted into the Church , till satisfaction given , or before Baptisme , we do not find the least appearance , that ever it had any great cost bestowed upon it , being very plain , with a roof like the bone of a Fish , and pav'd only with great pieces of Marble without any order or design . Which is the reason that some believe , that this first Portico was not built at the same time with the rest of the Church , because it hinders the sight of the Front. But in regard we do not find by any probable conjecture , that there was ever any other Front or Entrance into the Church , then what it still to be seen , and for that it is a thing unlikely that they would have rais'd a Tower not above Twenty paces from the main structure , and half a dozen open Arches at the same distance , without closing up the whole with a wall , and some slight covering instead of a Portico , we may well believe , this Portico to ●e as ancient as the rest of the Church , as being built after the same manner and form with the rest of the particular parts . At the two extremities of this Portico stand two little doors mark'd in the Platform Draught with the letter M. These are the doors of the Towers upon the West part of the Church , through which the Muezins ascend when they go to call the people to Church ; and which had the Turks any Bells would serve for Steeples . Round about the Tower upon the South side are several Fountaines under a Gallery , supported by Eight Pillars marked with the letter R. The west part of this Nartex receives in the Light at thirteen Windows , and opens with Three doors , of which Tw● are very large for the use of the people , the other ●ery small , not far from the Tower mark'd with the letter O. This Tower was formerly the Steeple belonging to the Church ; now a useless vacuity , the Turks having converted the Bells into the lowder , and less pleasing Music of the Cannon . The little door is only for the Muezins and other Officers of the Mosquee , who have their Chambers round a small Court , mark'd in the Platform Draught with the Directions S. and T. There is also in this Court belonging altogether to the old Steeple , a place where you descend Thirty steps to fetch water out of a large Cistern , which runs under all the body of the Church , and discharges it self out of several Cocks mark'd in the Platform Draught with the letter P. Near to thse steps , and toward the middle of the Court , stands a large Vessel in which the Officers wash their Linnen and other Habits . I have also mark'd it with the letter V. not that it is a thing so much worth notice , but that the Reader may observe the exactness and fidelity of the Draught , if ever it be his chance to Travell to Constantinople . He will also find at the direction ✚ . a small octogon Chappel , which serves now to no other use then to lay the provision of Hay and Oates for the Sultans adjoyning stables . It was formerly the Vestry belonging to the Church , of which there is still some likelihood remaining , there being a door out of this place into the Church , which I have fill'd up with small Tittles , to shew that it is now quite stopp'd up . All this that I have said may be seen in the platform Draught , and therefore I shall cease to tire the Reader with any farther topographical description . As for the measure I have reduc'd it to the ●adom , call'd * Toise de petit pied , by which the Reader may view and examine every thing without any fear of being deceiv'd , or making false conjectures , as being drawn with all the exactness imaginable . Having thus describ'd the Platform , I come now to the elevation of the Church . True it is , that all persons who till now have heard talk of the Church of Sancta . Sophia , have been easily led to believe , that the out side and inside of it was a Master-piece of Architecture , and that the ornaments both without and within do not give place to any of the stately and magnificent structures in Europe ; and all this not only upon the credit of the Greeks , who in all Ages however have been look'd upon as vain boasters , but also perswaded thereto by several Travellers , who have made descriptions perhaps more pleasing to the ear , than approaching to truth . But for my part not believing the Hyperboles of Poetical fancies , and not finding the Historians of chiefest credit , who spake most highly in praise of this Astonishing pile , have gone any farther than big words , which only fill the mind with false Idea's without having vouchsaf'd us the least Line of a Description by way of Draught , or the least touch of Pencil or Graver . I have therefore presum'd to do more and say less , for the satisfaction of the Reader , who is left to his own judgment , knowing that of the Poet to be true , Segnius irritant animos demissa per aures , Quam quae sunt oculis commissa fidelibus . Words passing through the ear far less convince , Then what is obvious to the seeing sence . The Northwest Prospect of Sancta Sophia . An Explanation of Figure VI. A. The Domo ; very much weather beaten , inform like a half Circle , having Twenty Four Windows , supported with Four large Pillars , upon which it does not seem however to rest . B. Three of the four great Buttresses added to the Four large Pillars which sustain the Dome , in every one of which a great pair of stairs run up , that lead to the Womens Galleries . C. The Womens second Galleries , the six Arches of which are stopp'd up , to make them more firm , in regard of the frequent Earth-quakes . D. The Womens first Galleries , much longer and larger then the second , the Walls of which like those of the Church are lin'd with Marble , the Roof like a large Fish-bone , all enrich'd with Mosaic work , adorn'd with sixty Pillars of speckled Egyptian Marble , resting upon Forty others much bigger , of the same stone , which together with the Pilasters support the whole stuucture . d. The stairs by which the Priests ascender with their Incense into the Womens Gallery . E. The upper Portico at the end wheneof were the Wiudows that looks to the West , is that fair transparent stone , which some Travellers have taken for an Onyan , but is no other then a very clear Marble , which are common in Persia. F. The North entrance into the lower Portico , never open but upon grand Festivalls , and during Ramazan . The Walls are lin'd with Marble of several colours , over which are the Pictures of Christ , the Virgin , St. John Baptist , and others , in Mosaic work , the Roof , Fish-bone work , embellish'd with Mosaic work . G. The first Portico or Nartex . formerly appointed for Penitents and Proselytes , without any Ornament , at the end of which are two doors that lead up to the Towers . It has only two principal entrances for the people , and a small one in the middle , through which Officers of the Mosquee pass to ●ond fro . H. This was the Steeple formerly for the Bells , now useless . I. The entrance down to the Cistern under the Church . K. The West door into the first Portico . L. The Chains which the Turks fix to all places , for which they have more then an ordinary respect , ● Gardens and other places about the Mosquees , to prevent Horses , Mules and other Beasts from getting in ; and which the people being bound to stoop as they pass under , puts them in mind of the respect and reverence which they owe to the place . M. Four little Towers , to the top of which the Muezins attend every day Five and Six times , ●pon Frydays , and Seven times in Lent , to call the people to Prayers . N. The door of enclosure , containing the Sepulchers of Four Sultans . O. A Cloyster , round about which are Built several Chambers for the Officers of the Mosquee . P. Part of the Serraglio . A Description of the Building and Elevation of Sancta Sophia . WHich way soever you take a prospect of Sancta Sophia , of which the foregoing Draught by a Prospect to the North and West , it appears always square , for that the body of the Church would be perfectly so , were it but only four Fadom more in breadth . At the four corners of the square , which is under the Domo , and which is rais'd upon the four large inside Pillars , stand four large massie Buttresses , admitting the light in at three Windows . In every one of which is an easy pair of stairs leading up to the top of the Church , mark'd in this plate with the letter B. Between which Butteresses run the Womens Galleries , whither they also lead . Of which the upper are mark'd C. shorter and narower , as terminating between the two large Buttresses . The other or the lowermost is mark'd D , broader and longer , as having the same dimensions with the wings of the Church . To the upper Gallery belong seven little Windows without , answering to as many Arches which were formerly open in the inside of the Church , now by the T●rks quite stopp'd up , as having no need of so many out-lets for their Women , since they are not permitted to come to Church . Above the roof of the upper Gynaikeion , runs a single Wall cover'd with an Arch , and receiving the light in at Twelve ill-shap'd Windows ; Seven of which are very small , and in a right line to the very roof of the upper Gallery , and Five somewhat bigger in the midst of the Seven below . All this is cover'd with a large Domo , on the top of which mark'd A , stands a pinacle of Brass guilded , with a Crescent of the same at the top . Which manner of finishing is observ'd in all the publick Buildings among the Turks . Under this Domo , on the west part of the Church is a Semi-Dome with Five Windows , of which one is shut up . It appears at the side of two small Cupola's , which have between them one large semicircular window parted into six Lights , with a thwart piece of stone-work , which rests upon two small Columns that support two others . Those two little Cupola's were only plac'd in that part for ornament , for they have no overture into the inside of the Church , nor into themselves , as not being hollow . Between these little Cupola's and the large Buttresses there are two other Semi-Domes , one of each side , having formerly six Windows a piece . But the continual Earth-quakes were the occasion that some of them were stopp'd up . These two Demi-Domes upon the West side , with the two that answer them upon the East side , cover the four Semi-circles of the Quire , and the entrance into the Sophia mark'd in Fig. V. with the letter H. A little below these three Semi-Domes runs a great Gallery with nine great Windows , every one of which is parted with a thwart piece of stone-work , and a part of two little square Pillars , all of Marble , of which the Portico under it has as many . It is mark'd with the letter E. and is supported with six Buttresses , in the midst of which runs up a foursquare Tower mark'd H. it is not above Fifty Fadom high , and was therefore the Steeple formerly belonging to the Church ; but could not contain very many nor very great Bells , in regard it was no bigger . Under the Buttresses behind the Steeple , is a little Portico or Nartex mark'd G. and near to it at the direction I , is a large door that leads to the Cocks of the Cistern under the Church . The Trees adjoyning shade a little Court belonging to the Officers of the Mosquee , whose lesser Chambers you may see at the letter O. At the four corners of all the Building stand four Towers , all delicate pieces of Workmanship , except that which stands behind the Mosquee , of which you see no part in this Draught but only the Spire near to the letter A. They are mark'd with the letter M. having above but one Gallery , which is as high as the Windows of the great Domo , but they bear their Pinacles above that of the Domo . Round about the two Minarets or Towers , upon the West side of the Church , are the three principal entrances into them , mark'd in the Platform Fig. V. with the letter E. but in this last plate with the letter K. in regard that in this place there is but one to be seen . It is cover'd with a little Domo , at the side whereof there is a little stone cut into steps , for those that ride to the Mosquee , to alight , or to get up on Horseback . To the East of this Tower is to be seen one of the Entrances into the large Portico , mark'd E. This is the North entrance , where you descend by steps into the Church , by reason the pavement of the street in that place is higher then the Pavement of the Church . Within this entrance upon the left hand , as also at the other end of the Portico , appear two little doors opening upon an easie pair of stairs that lead to the upper Galleries . From this entrance into the grand Portico , there runns a little Wall , that encloses the three North half Buttresses , and the space between them makes a little long Court , planted with some few young Trees . This wall ends at a little Octogon Chapel , which was formerly the Vestry , mark'd with the direction ✚ in Fig. V. and in this Draught with the letters P. Q. Between this little Chapel and the Tower behind it , is one of the entrances into one of the upper Galleries mark'd in Fig. V. with the letter E. but not to be seen in this latter plate , because this Chapel hides it in such a manner , that it is not to be discover'd , but as you enter , or stand just right against it : Now in regard it was at this private and little frequented door that I always went into the Church to take my Draughts and observations of Sancta Sophia , I will recreate this tiresome description with the story of an accident that befell me , at what time I was at the height of all my business . The eager longing which we have to see , and enjoy what we desire , exposes us to many hazards . For the gaining of that , we sacrifice oftentimes what is most dear to us in the world . I met at Constantinople with two persons who had orders from His most Christian Majesty to Travel the East , and to bring him back upon their return the most exact Draughts and faithful relations of whatever they could meet with that was most worthy observation . To this purpose , as I was one day studiously reading their instructious , I found that among other things , they were expresly commanded , if it might possibly be accomplish'd , to take the Draught of the inside and outside of Sancta Sophia . Now understanding that neither of these two Travellers had dar'd to expose themselves to the danger , it came into my mind , perceiving they had left Constantinople without adventring to pursue the Kings commands , that I might perhaps have better success , if for the satisfaction of my Prince I should take upon me to run a little more hazard then they were willing to undergo , that were under the Kings Sallery , and honoured with his commands . Foreseeing therefore how dangerous a thing it was to take the Draughts and measures of Sancta Sophia , and that neither my long habit , my long beard , nor the Title and quality of Physician , which I took upon me , would stand me in any stead , I had recourse to intreague and policy . For we do meet with some persons , who by vertue of some engagements or other , do at length attain the ends which they propose to themselves . To this purpose I address'd my self to a certain Greek , who had all the good qualities of a person who sought nothing more then to do kindnesses when opportunity offer'd . He was a Goldsmith by Trade , which he follow'd less then the zealous affection which appear'd in him to excess , to do courtesies for his friends . He liv'd near the Church , which made me believe he might be acquainted with some of the Officers belonging to it . To him therefore having particularly imparted my design , he told me , he would discourse the business to one of his Neighbours , and put me in farther hopes , that he did not doubt but that when he went to cary home certain toys which he was making for one of his Wives , he should accomplish my business over two or three Flingeans or cups of Coffee , especially having had success , in things of much more danger . I left with him a Venetian Sequin to drink , worth seven * Livers , ten Sous French , and promis'd him more if he could but get me the liberty to take the Draughts and Measures of Sancta Sophia . The next morning the Greek came to my Lodging at Galata , and carry'd me to Constantinople to a person near his house , with whom I had certainly made a better composition , had he drank as much Wine as he made use of Oyl . He was the chief Mu●tar Agasi , or Caudilafti , belonging to the Mosquee , that is to say , the chief of those who are imploy'd to look after the Lamps . Neither is the Muctariat of this Mosquee a small Office. For as it is his business sometimes to keep above two Thousand Lamps lighted at a time , especially all the Ramazan nights , it behoves him to have his hands as clean as a Mahometan , from all other defilement but those of durty Gold ; to which purpose he washes them every moment , not being able to avoid the greasie kindnesses which the Oyl will sometimes drop upon his fingers . This good man , whom it was impossible to gain by never so many Lamps full of Wine , in regard he was an old curmudgeon that never drank any , told me at my first approaches , that his Goldsmith had extreamly surpriz'd him , in acquainting him that I had a desire to take the Draughts and measures of the inside of Sancta Sophia ; that perhaps I was ignorant , that the entrance into that holy place was open to none but Mussullmen , and that there could not be a greater crime then to admit a Giaur or infidell to take the Draughts and measures of that place as I design'd . True it was indeed , that having the care of the Lamps and the Galleries , he could giye me entrance above and below , without any danger , provided it were not in prayer time , but to stay three whole days as I desir'd , he could by no means permit me , without the hazard of his own life , as well as of mine , should I be discern'd by any one during prayer time , or be surprized by any of the other Officers who had keys as well as himself . I understood by his canting what he drove at , and that there was a necessity of some other then the usual key to open the Gallery doors . To this end I made use of a neat Watch that I had bought by chance for three Venetian Sequins , though it were worth above ●ix , and which I carry'd with me out of a design to present him if he accomplish'd my purpose . This Watch I drew out , lookt what was a Clock , and then wound it up before his face . The baite took , the M●chtar fail'd not to ask me to let him see it , and finding it pleas'd his fancy , demanded of me if I would fell it . I answer'd the Watch Watch worth ten Sequins , but since it pleas'd him , I would pesent it to him jaba or gratis , if by his permission I might see the inside of Sancta Sophia , and stay there three or four days at several times , that I would go in before Salem-namasi or before day break Prayer , and that I would not stir out till after Accham-namasi or Evening Prayer : which since he had the Keyes himself , might be done without any hazard to himself or me , so he let no body in besides my self . The covetous fox , having his eyes dazl'd with the sight of my Watch , cry'd out , bré guidi kiafer choc ister sen bi r sahat ichun . Ah Devil of an Infidell you ask too much for your Watch. However he added , that seeing the earnest desire I had , he willingly granted for his part what I demanded ; but that not being the only person that kept the Keyes of the Galleries , therefore to make sure work , it behov'd me to speak to two Officers of the Mosquee , who as well as himself had all the Keyes of the same places ; however he did not question but that for some small matter he should prevail with them to my satisfaction , and that he would give notice to the Goldsmith of his success . The Greek either out of affection or interest seem'd to be most passionately concern'd in my behalf , not giving himself any rest for solliciting the Candilafti or Lamp-lighter to perform his promise , so that in few days he came to me like one overjoy'd , and told me that my business was effected , that I had nothing to do but to go the next Morning , being Monday , and wait at the private door of the Mosquee , which would not fail to fly open to me , by vertue of the charmes of my Watch and four Sequins more , which I was to give to the two other Officers mention'd by the Muctar : who being satisfy'd , I might have liberty to draw , take measures , and do what else I pleas'd , but dig up the Foundations of the Mosquee . I that had never pay'd less than five and twenty per cent for my Bills of Exchange , that I might not fail of my time , and thought my Watch a sufficient price for the satisfaction of my curiosity , was very loath to part with my four Sequins , to the value of Ten Crowns ; considering withal , that it was not a Mile to the bottom of my Purse . Nevertheless after many contests in vain , seeing those Adorers of Silver would not bate me a doit , alleadging still the great danger and hazard which they ran for my sake , I was perswaded to cross the Cudgells , that I might see some thing in Constantinople , which was a raritie , and which I was assur'd that no person but my self was ever before Master of : Thereupon I went to the place appointed , and foreseeing that there would be some want of a little refreshment in regard I was not going to keep the Turkish Ramazan or Lent , but only to draw the Draught of the Church , I carry'd with me a Bologna Sawsage , a Bottle of Wine , and a Loaf . Which had been sufficient to have cost me my dear life , had they found me eating Bacon and drinking Wine , the two abominations chiefly forbidden by their Law , and polluting with them the holyest of all their Mosquees . Thus I spent the first day well enough without any interruption in the Gallery . But the next day was not so calm . For whilst the Turk● were at their Devotions , I fell to my Sawsage and Wine , and by that time they had done Praying , I had done eating ; and was fallen very serious again to my business . When lo , athwart the Pillars at the other end of the Church in the Galleries , I perceiv'd a tall long fellow stalking toward that part where I was , who I found had let himself in at another door than that at which my Introductor had let me in . I was firmly of belief , seeing a white Turbant , and a person whom I knew not , that my business was done , should it prove to be any other , than one of those whom the Muctar had made of the conspiracy . I was in a strange Quandary ; sometimes I thought , because I was at my repast while the Turks were at Prayers , that some person had spy'd me from below , as having perhaps had the ill luck while the people in the Mosquee were pros●rated with their heads to the earth , and kissing the Ground and crying out Alla hecher , to have too much exalted mine out of my zeal to drink their healths , and to play upon my soft Instrument to their lowd Musick . I was in a peck of troubles , and knew not what to do in the condition wherein I was : besides that I knew not where to bestow my papers , pencills and Bottle , for which I could find no excuse in the world . It was a crime that neither stake nor fire could hardly have expiated , to find a Giaur making figures , eating Pork , and drinking Wine , in the Turks Holy of Holyes . I must confess I was never in such a Pannic dread in all my life , and that I never saw the shape and likeness of death so exactly drawn before my eyes in all my days . However though I firmly believ'd my self to be a person no longer of this world , yet that I might not be surpriz'd with my Bottle and Sawsage , I hid them together with my papers under a Carpet in a dark corner , with all the speed I could , and so drawing forth my Rosary , and a certain book which I had about me , written by Peter Gilius , I return'd to my feat , and put my self into a posture of one that had but newly said his Prayers . Every step the Turk made toward the upper Portico , from whence I had been drawing the bottom of the Church , my deadly fears augmented . But in regard he came but slowly on , I had time to recollect my Spirits , to put on a good face , and confirm my self in those resolutions I had always taken , which were rather to lose my Life a thousand times , than my Praeputium once . Thus feigning my self to be at my Prayers , I held my Book , which I had no great maw to look in at that time , in my left hand , and my Rosary in my right hand , with the Beads whereof I was fumbling , when the Turk approach'd me ; and instead of a Salamalek , or How d' ye do , cry'd , Brè guidi giaur ne uhlersen bonda ; Villain of an Infidel ! what ma● ' st thou here ? I answer'd him , after I had look'd very seriously in my Book , and turn'd over two or three of my Beads according to the Musselmen's manner : Sir , I am at my Prayers , stay a little while I beseech ye . — After which , having made a Genuflexion , together with the sign of the Cross , I rose up to speak to him . Salamalekum Aga , said I , or Good day t' ye , Sir ; then going on , You need not wonder , Sir , quoth I , to find a Christian alone in the Galleries of Sancta Sophia ; adding , he knew it was a Church formerly built by the Christians , who had still a great Veneration for it , and being one of those , that I had obtain'd permission to be let in , to the end I might spend some few hours in Devotion and Prayer , and that I expected him who had let me in , to come suddenly and let me out again . THE SOUTH PROSPECT OF SANCTA SOPHIA . An Explanation of Figure VII . A. The Turks Colophon , or Pinacle-head , being a Fig. VII . crescent of Brass or Lead gilt . B. Two of the four great Buttresses that support the Domo . C. The Women's second Gallery . D. The Women's lower Gallery . d. The Stairs where the Priests and Deacons ascend with their Incense . E. The upper Portico . F. The South entrance into the lower Portico . ● . Buttresses that support the upper and lower Portico ; under which is the Nartex or Porch for the Penitents and Proselytes . H. The Steeple where the Bells hung formerly . I. The Entrance down to the Cisterns under the Church . K. The two West Gates opening into the first Portico , and so into the Church . L. The Chains which the Turks put before all the Doors of those places to which they bear any respect , as before the Door mark'd with the Letter N. M. The four Towers which the Turks have rais'd about the Temple instead of Steeples , of which the biggest and lowest , mark'd M* , was the first that was built in Constantinople . O. A little Cloyster with Chambers for some of the Officers of the Mosquee . P. The Fountain where the Turks wash before they enter the Temple . Q. The Window where the Sybil of Sancta Sophia sits , an Officer employ'd to give Water to those that desire to drink . R. S. The South enclosure , containing the Sepulchers of divers Grand Signors . T. The Tombs of several Grand Signors , their Wives and Children . T* . The Sepulcher of Sultan Mahomet and his six and twenty Children . * T. Sultan Mustapha's Tomb. A Description of the South Prospect of Sancta Sophia . HAving already describ'd the North Prospect of St. Sophia , it will not be much material to add the South Prospect , the Fronts of both being so very like . The great Domo , weather-beaten with its Pinacle , and Pinacle-head mark'd A , is the same on both sides , having four and twenty Windows plac'd upon a Square , supported with three large Buttresses mark'd B , surrounded with Galleries C and D , accompany'd with Semi-domes , and adorn'd with a Vestibulum and Portico's , as at E. G. grac'd with four Towers mark'd M , and beautifi'd with Gardens like the other Mosquees . I shall therefore only add for the satisfaction of the Reader , the most remarkable differences between the two Fronts , North and South . To begin therefore at the Letter P. This Letter marks out several Fountains under a small Gallery : For the Turks never enter the Mosquee 〈◊〉 say their Prayers , before they have wash'd every part of the Body , which they think has committed any offence ; believing that not only the least drop of Urine , or any other Excrement , may defile them , but also the hearing of reproachful and scandalous words , and what ever the voluptuous Sences entertain of wanton pleasure ; for which reason they always wash the principal inlets of sensual Delight . And therefore they never build any Mosquee without the provision of several Fountains , or some small Stream , for which they make an artificial Chanel to bring it up to the Mosquee , for the conveniency of the Musselmen travelling upon the Road. And indeed there are always near their Mosquees two sorts of Fountains , the one to wash in , the other to drink . To the first belong certain Cocks , which are free for every one to turn , either to wash withall , or drink ; for the Water is always very clear , and very well tasted . To the second belong certain neat Pots of Copper tinn'd , where attends a person employ'd for that purpose to distribute to every one what he has occasion for , to quench his thirst . Did the Turks but love the juice of the Grape as well as the Germans , and were not Wine forbidden by their Law , it would have been a much greater convenience , and an act of higher Charity to have erected so many Taverns near the Tombs of the Dead , where the Living might have drank the Founders Health in good Wine of free-cost ; than so many pitiful Water-Almshouses or Sebilkanas , of which there are many adjoyning to the Tombs of great Personages and Grand Signors , where the people fuddle nothing but fair Water in memory of their Benefactors ; of which number is this adjoyning to Sancta Sophia near the Letter Q , upon the South side . This Sebilkana , or Waterfudling School , is one of the most ancient in Constantinople , being erected by Sultan Mahomet , surnam'd the Leacher , for that he had by several Wives no less than six and twenty Children , which Iye round about him in little Coffins in the Turbé or Sepulcher mark'd T* . The other Sepulchers belong to so many other Grand Signors , all enclos'd in one Court , shaded with a great number of Trees . An Explanation of Figure VIII . ✚ . The Domo , lin'd with Mosaic Figures , as mark'd in the Plate . A. The place where formerly stood the Altar . a. The Stairs which now ascend byassing , which formerly ascended streight upright from one of the large oriental Pillars to the other , at the Extremities of which stood the Emperours and Patriarchs Seats . They enclos'd with a Balustrade the compass of the Quire. But now the Turks have shap'd them otherwise , to turn them toward Koblè , where the Mirabe or Mahumetan Altar stands . B. The Mirabe or Maharah , like a Nich in the Wall , where the Alcoran is kept . On the right and left hand stand two large Candlesticks , and in each a Taper of Wax . C. The Mufti 's Mamber or Chair , where he reads Prayer all Bairam , and upon other solemn Festivals . ● . The Grand Signor's Closet , where he attends his Devotions . ● . The Gallery leading to the Closet . D. Two low Terraces or Balcones for the Singers and Moderators of the peoples Voices , which they call Belligler . The inside of SANCTA SOPHIA y e East End. E. The Preachers Pulpit , wherein there is a Sermon A-la-turquesca Wednesdays and Fridays . F. The Windows of the Church . f. The Windows of the Domo's , low , and giving little light . G. The Women's lower Gallery . ● . The Women's upper Gallery . H. The Balisters that run round the Church above and below . I. Four Pictures of Saints , over which is one of the Virgin Mary , garnish'd under with Moresco Mosaic work , and all under the same Arch. K. Four large Seraphims , with six Wings a piece . L. The Picture of Christ's Face upon the Napkin , call'd Veronica . M. Two large Angels , whose Wings cover their whole Bodies from head to foot . N. A large Picture of our Lady sitting and holding Christ in her arms . O. The three large Windows of the Quire , and Sanctum Sanctorum . In the Rounds between the Windows are the names of eight great Prophets of the Turkish Law. P. The mouth of the great Cistern under the Church , whence they fetch Water to cool the Musselmen , when over-heated with their Turkish Zeal . The Pavement of the Church is all of Marble , wrought in divers Compartiments , cover'd with a Mat , and sundry Turkish Carpets laid over it . The Description of the inside of Sancta Sophia , the East end . TO shew the Reader now , without any danger or hazard the inside of St. Sophia , you are to understand , that as soon as you come to the entrance of the three Doors in the middle , you have almost an entire prospect of the whole , or at least of the principal part of what I am going to describe ; There was formerly but one Altar in this Church , where now there is none at all . It was plac'd at the Letter A , and a little below there was a separation of Wood gilded and adorn'd with Pictures , and opening with three Doors which the Greeks call Hagiai Tirai , or The holy Doors , for that they belong'd to the Sanctum Sanctorum . The Quire for the Singers enclos'd all that space contain'd between the two small Pillars at the lower end of the Church ( upon which that separation call'd the Eikonostasion joyn'd ) and the two large Oriental Pillars that sustain'd the Domo , against which the two Seats of the Emperour and Patriarch were fix'd , the one on the North , and the other on the South side . Now for the sake of these two Seats , and the rest with which this place was environ'd , therefore was it call'd Ambon , or The place of Seats . It was just under the Oriental Semidome , having five Windows , but low , and giving little light . All the Seats of this Ambon were taken away , when Mahomet the Second turn'd the Church into a Mosquee . But the Mirabe or Turkish Altar is plac'd where you see the Letter B , and instead of Seats , which the Turks never use , there are only the Mufti 's Mamber , or the Katib of the Mosquee's Desk , mark'd C , and a Tebligh , or little low Balcone for the Singers , mark'd D. Over against the Mufti 's Mamber is the Grand Signor's Closet . The Seats of the Ambon were formerly appointed for those that officiated at the Quire. But the Preacher's Pulpit might be perhaps where the Turks have now plac'd theirs . It stands in the midst of the North part of the Church , made after a different manner from those in our Churches , for it is open before like a large and very high Elbow Chair . He that preaches , ascends by means of a short pair of Stairs before it , leaving his Shooes below ; and being got up , seats himself like a Taylor upon his Shopboard , and talks to the People , but with very little motion of the body . This Pulpit stands at the Letter E ; it is all of white Marble , wrought in transparent work with Roses , and variety of Moresco Ornament . Behind , and over against this Pulpit , stand four large Pillars of speckl'd Egyptian Marble forty foot high , and all of a piece , with so little difference in the turning between the middle and the top , that 't is no easie thing to discern their diminution , which makes them appear to be all of one piece : But their Chapters seem to be of a particular Order , which may be call'd the Barbarian Greek . The Workman intended to have cover'd them with the Leaves of Acanthus , or the Thistle call'd Brank Vrsin , but miss'd his design through his ill imitation . 'T is true , the delicacy of the Tool that carv'd them is to be admir'd , as being almost all transparent ; and it seems as if the Artist intended to have intermix'd between the Foliage some certain significant Characters . The upper part of the Chapter , that forms the space between the Arches , is of various colour'd Marble wrought in transparent work , with several branches of Foliage and Flowers , and Garlands of Porphyry . These four great Columns support six others belonging to the first Galleries , some of which are rather for Ornament than Use. Those six Columns at the Letter G , are much less than the four lowermost , and the Shape and Sculpture of their Chapters is also different . The upper part of the Columns belonging to the Women slower Gallery is very rich , and good work , branch'd with Flowers and Foliage made of Jasper , Porphyry , Mother of Pearl , and other such-like Stones of great price . But it is impossible to distinguish or express all these Embellishments by the Graver's Art upon a Copper Plate . Above these Ornaments there runs a Gallery round about the Church , with its Balisters , in the distance between every one of which stands so many Lamps , which are kept burning all Night long during Ramazan , or the Season of Lent. This Balister is the last piece of Building , which is lin'd with Marble within the Church . The upper part was formerly all embellish'd with Figures in Mosaic work , as appears by the Ruins of it in several places , the rest being now defac'd by the Turks , who cease not to blemish and destroy what remains , where they can come at it , with long Poles , and then to daub the deformity over with white Plaister . Which they have not done however so absolutely , but that several Figures appear untouch'd out of their reach , as well in the first Galleries , as in the body of the Church : For there are still to be seen two large Seraphims under the East part of the Domo , four Saints , and a Virgin in the middle , under the Oriental Arch , mark'd with the Letter I ; two large Angels , and the Veronica or Napkin , with the Picture of Christ's face upon it , at the Letters M and L , over the Sanctum Sanctorum ; and lastly , a large Picture of the Virgin Mary sitting in a Throne , holding Christ upon her knees , who gives her his Blessing . This Picture appears at the bottom of the Church near the Letter N , in the midst of a Semidome inlaid with Mosaic work gilded , and illuminated with five small Windows . These may be look'd upon as a good Omen for the Christians , that by an effect of Divine Providence , those Sculptures which cover'd the Sanctum Sanctorum are still remaining entire to this day , though they stand in a place very much frequented , and within the reach of Mischief , as being left there to excite one day the Piety of the Christians for the recovery of the Church . Over this Balcone runs the upper Balustrade mark'd O , but the lower Balustrade terminates under the Angels at an Overture , which serves instead of a Door . Over this upper Balustrade , under the Grand Domo , at the Letter g , were formerly seven open Arches , which belong'd to the Women's second Gallery ; but now those Arches are stopp'd up , only their place and form remains , in regard the Turks , who never admit their Women into their Mosquees , have no occasion for so many Galleries to accommodate their Piety ; and have therefore appointed those Galleries which formerly belong'd to them , to the use of the Men. Over these Arches thus stopp'd up , mark'd with the Letter F , are the Windows of the two Fronts of the Body of the Church , though very ill contriv'd . The seven lowermost are very small , but the five which are over them very large ; but as well the Glass-work of those Windows , as of all the rest of the Church , except the six in the Sanctum Sanctorum , is only compos'd of round quarrels of Glass set in plain Plaister , which is the reason that the whole Church is very dark and gloomy , notwithstanding the great number of Windows , which are all low , and such as afford but little light , and resemble rather the Vent-holes of a Cave , than the Windows of a Church . The spaces between the Windows are so many portions of Circles or Arches , which as they diminish , terminate toward the middle of the Domo , where they make the figure of a Rose inlaid with Mosaic work . From the middle , and the parts about this Rose , mark'd with a ✚ , descend several Rods of Iron , at which hangs a large Circle within about eight or ten foot of the Pavement , to which are fix'd a prodigious number of Lamps , Ostriches Eggs , and other Baubles ; but in regard it is no part of the Building , and for that it would have hinder'd the prospect of the Church , I have left them out of the Plate . An Explanation of Figure IX . A. The great Door in the middle of the Church , with two other lesser ; over which Doors within the Portico , are the Pictures of Christ , the Virgin Mary , and St. John Baptist , with an Emperour prostra●e a● their feet ; athwart this Door may be seen the Door that leads into the Nartex . B. The two little Doors , upon the right and left hand whereof are two passages leading to the other Doors , mark'd also B. C. Two large Vrns , which are kept full of Water to cool the Mahometans , over-heated by their 〈◊〉 Gesticulations . D. Four Columns of Porphyry , girdl'd with Brass in several places to preserve them from breaking , as beginning already to crack . E. Two little low Balcones or Terraces for the Singers , that regulate the rest of the Musselmen at their Prayers . F. The mouth of the Cistern where they draw Wat●● out of the Cistern under the Church . G. The upper and lower Balustrades that run round about the Church , between which the Lamps are set , which burn upon solemn Festivals , and in Lent. The inside of SANCTA SOPHIA y e West End. H. The Gallery where the Women sate apart from the Men during Divine Service . WE are now to leave the Church , where I am sorry I have so long detain'd the Reader ; and therefore seeing the Doors are open , let him consider at which he will go out . I must confess he has this advantage above me , that he may take a prospect of them without any hazard , or being misus'd for his pains by the zealous Musselmen , as I was ; for I had finish'd all my work , but only the Gates , and some few things relating to the Ground-work of the Church , and lowest part of the lower Portico : To which purpose my long Beard and Habit , with my red Turbant , ( for none but Musselmen are suffer'd to wear white or green ) stood me in great stead . For in that Equipage I durst venture into the Sophia , without notice taken of me by the Turks , whose Eyes are so zealously fix'd upon the Pavement , ●hat they take little heed whether a Man's Turbant be Christian or Turkish . Nevertheless one day trusting too much to my Habit , and the Excuses which I had always ready cut and dry'd , I could not be content to go alone as I was wont to do , but I must needs take a friend along with me , who was a Venetian , and who in a whole year that he had liv'd at Constantinople , had never dar'd so much as to look into the inside of the Mosquee . As for his habit , it was well enough , but he wore long Hair , with a Calpac or Grecian Bonnet upon his head , after the manner of the Europeans that live in Turky . Now having that day little to do , I carry'd him , forsooth , into the Portico , with a design to have gone cross the Church . But my friend , when he had seen as much as could be seen from the Portico , out of his Venetian Gravity , would not venture to expose himself any farther , by hazarding a dispute with the zealous Mahometans : So that he left me to go by my self , and stay'd at the Door to be a testimony of my rashness , not dreaming that he should be the cause of the misfortune ●hat befell me . For while I was got into the middle of the Mosquee , and still making forward to the Door next the Serraglio , two curs'd Bigots of Turks , that were coming to say their Prayers , found the Venetian at the Church door , under the roof of the Portico , where I left him . They ask'd him , whether he were come there to turn Musselman ? To which , when he answer'd in the Negative , and told them , that he only stay'd for his friend that was gone into the Mosquee , a suddain transportation of Zeal enflaming the two Turks , the one falls upon the Venetian with his prophane Fists , and expells him out of Holy Ground , while the other makes towards me with his Papo●ches in his hand , and without the least warning , gives me a rude Complement over the shoulders , for which I return'd him thanks with the swiftest pair of heels I could find . I did not think it safe to stand upon Interrogatories , or to inform my self of the reason of his incivility . I thought it more advantageous for me to trust to my Legs , than to stay to tell the boystrous Turk by way of Remonstrance , That if Mahomet commanded him to stand barefoot in the Mosquee , yet that I did not believe he ever intended that any Turk should make use of his Shooes to abuse a Stranger in his presence . No — I ran away with all the speed I could , and fearing less the durtying my Mestes or new Breeches , than to be defil'd by the rude touch of a Musselman's fist , I never left running till I got to the turning of the Street , where I put on my Papouches or Shooes , which 'till then I had no leisure to do . Had these Turks known that I some days before had eaten Bacon and drank Wine in their Mosquee , 't is ten to one they would not so easily have suffer'd me to win the Race . To return to the Matter . The West part of Sancta Sophia , where stand the Gates of the Portico at which I got out , is one of the fairest Fronts of the Church , as may be easily seen by the draught . Over the West Arch , which leans upon the two great Pillars that support the Domo , you meet with a large Semidome , which covers both upon the right and left hand two other small ones , which are as it were instead of a Shoulder to the entrance into the Church . It had formerly five Windows , but now one is stopp'd up . Between these two Elbows cover'd by their Semidomes , appear the three principal Doors of the Portico , being plac'd in the middle of the West Front , and between six other Doors equally divided upon the right and left hand . That in the middle , which is the biggest of all , is mark'd in the Design with the Letter A. The two other , ( which are lower ) by B. Near to which are two passages , which cross over the Pillars that flank them , leading to the three other Doors of each side . Through the great Door you may discover another answering to it , and leading into the Nartex or Portico . Over these three Doors are three large Overtures adjoyning to the two sides of the Pillars that flank the Front , and in the middle rest upon two double Columns . Through which three Arches you may discover a good part of the upper Portico which belong'd to the Women's Gallery . In the midst of which stand four little Pillars of green Marble , only for shew , or else perhaps they might have formerly serv'd to make a separation between some Window or Lattice , which prevented the Women from being seen . The upper part of this Front , over the middlemost Doors , is taken up with a large Window parted by two Columns , and cut in the midst by a piece of Stone-work , the Glass-work consisting only of round Quarrels set in Plaister . The Ornaments of this Front , and of all the rest of the Body of the Church , are of Marble , Alablaster , green Marble , and Porphyry , Mother of Pearls , Cornelions , and several other rich Stones . I have observ'd , to the utmost of my power , the order and fashion of all these Ornaments beautifi'd with such diversity of rich Materials ; but the smallness of the Volume to which I was oblig'd to accommodate the Plates , would not give me leave to make a larger distinction of the several parts . However , if this small Design prove acceptable to the World , I may in time be able to gratifie the Reader with a Des●ription in larger Draughts . In the mean time , the Reader may be assur'd of all the exactness imaginable , and the various colours of the Marble may be discern'd by the variety of the Graver's hatching in the Plate . Upon the side of these three middlemost Doors , the two little Pillars which flank them form a kind of Elbow , by the assistance of the two great Pillars which sustain the Domo ; in the midst of which Elbow or Semicircle are two Columns of Porphyry , each plac'd upon a Pedestal , equalling in height the third part of the body of the Pillar . But in regard these two Columns that sustain three Arches with their Pillars , support also five others , which make way for six Overtures , upon which are fix'd the Semidomes and their Galleries , the bulk whereof render'd their weight too ponderous , the ensuing Earthquakes shook them so terribly ▪ that they began to falter in many places , which constrain'd the girdling them about with Hoops of Brass and Iron , to prevent their total decay . Between these two girdl'd Columns , upon each side , stand two great Jarrs or Urns of Marble , having little Cocks belonging to them . These are fill'd every morning with Water from the Cistern , drawn up at the little Overture mark'd F , and cover'd with brass Covers . If these two brass Urns be not very ancient , yet it may be conjectur'd , that they serve in the stead of those which were in the time of the Greek Emperours , and were made use of for the Sanctification Water which the Christians us'd when they came to Church . For History observes , that there was a certain large Vessel full of Water , where the Faithful were wont to wash their faces , to denote , that they were to present themselves pure and immaculate before the Presence of God ; which Vessel seems to be represented by the Holy-Water-vessels in the Roman Catholic Churches ; as having written over it in a fair Golden Character this Greek Verse , which may be read either backward or forward : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Wash off thy Sins , and not thy Face alone . But now they only serve to keep Water in , to quench the Musselmen's zealous Drowth . For the most superstitious Turks tarry a long time at their Devotions , and by means of their frequent Gesticulations , and Genuflexions , and tearing their Throats with continually pronouncing the Name of God , or some one of his Attributes , overheat themselves in such a manner , that their Lungs are almost dry'd up with perpetual yawling ; which makes them pant after the cool Streams of these Water-Urns , whence they either take the Water themselves , or receive it from the hands of a Dervich , or some other Officers of the Mosquee , who stand ready with their Toulouks or Hair-bottles , and clean Glasses , to supply the wants of them that call for their assistance ; but this is only upon Solemn Festivals , when the Mosquee is so full , that every one cannot go to relieve himself . Near the mouth of the great Cistern at the Letter E , as also right against it , stands a little Marble Terrass upon four Pillars of the same , very like the Balcones where the Musicians in Italy sit , only the Balisters are much lower , to the end the People may observe the Gestures of those that are in it , who are the Directors of the Turkish Devotion , by the Musselmen call'd Bellighler , as their Seats or Terrasses are call'd Tebligh ; which Seats or Terrasses , and Chanters or Directors , are only in great Mosquees , for the little ones have no need of so much Ceremony . The Katib who is the Curat● , or the Iman his Vicar , are sufficient in such places ; and for the Country Mosquees , as in our small Parishes , one single Iman serves to do all the drudgery of Iman , Muezin or Cryer , Lamp-lighter or Muchtar , and Kahigim or Sweeper . But in large and much frequented Mosquees , such as Sancta Sophia , there is a necessity for these Terraces ; for that the Musselmen , who are at a distance from the Maharab , would never be able to hear or understand the Iman that reads Prayers , or to know when to bawl , and when to kneel ; which causes great confusion many times , not unpleasant to behold ; when one going to kneel , and another to rise at the same time , he that rises salutes him that is about to kneel with the poynt of his Turbant , to the great detriment sometimes of Eyes , sometimes of Noses ; which cannot but be a great disturbance to their offended Devotion . Therefore the Directors placing themselves in these Terraces , and observing the voice and gestures of the Iman , baul out to the Crowd what the Iman reads with a low voice , and teach the Rabble when to respond , in due season , at the end of every Rekies , or Couplet of the Prayer , Alla Ecber , and to prostrate themselves in their proper cue , after their Example . And thus I have said as much as can be said in reference to the inside and outside of the Church of Sancta Sophia , referring my self , to supply the defect of words , to the observation of the Plates , which he that shall diligently consider , will find that the Body of this Church is in nothing at all less glorious than it was formerly , notwithstanding all the Stories of the Greeks to the contrary , unless it be where the Turks have defac'd it upon the score of their Superstition : For I look not upon the destruction of the Patriarch's Palace , or the Monastery adjoyning , to signifie much to the Body of the Church . As to the Front of the Church , there is no probability , that there ever was any other than what now appears , which has nothing of that Grandeur and Beauty , which a Church so loudly fam'd might justly require . True it is , that Architecture , and her two Sisters , Sculpture and Painting , were at that time little regarded , so that it seems rather a wonder that they did so well , than that they did no better , considering the barbarity and ignorance of the Age. Of the Religious Functions of the Greek Church formerly exercis'd in Sancta Sophia , as likewise their present Practice . IT is a Question hard to determine , what was the true Liturgy , or form of Divine Worship of the Greeks , in the time of the first Christian Emperours , or what it was a long time after them . The Ancients , as well in this , as in many other things , give us little or no light . But if we may make any conjecture , by what is now practic'd over all the Greek Churches , we may conclude , that the Governours , Ministers , and Officers of the Greek Church , were comprehended under three Orders ; Episcopa● , Sacerdotal , and Clerical . Under the Episcopal Order were the Patriarch , the Archbishops , Metropolitans , and Bishops . The Sacerdotal Order included Abbots or Priors , with their Brethren , Regular Priests , and Cosmics or Secular Priests . The Clerical Order contain'd as now , Deacons , Choristers , Children of the Quire , Sacristains , Lamp-lighters , Sweepers , Porters , and Bell-ringers . Of all which , briefly in their Order . Of the Patriarch . THE Patriarch of Constantinople has not always been invested with that high Title . M●trophanes was the first to whom it was allow'd , as being no more than a private Bishop , 'till Constantine constrain'd Byzantium to surrender to him upon Composition , and to expell Licinius , who had taken Sanctuary there , and whose Party they had embrac'd . Nor was the Byzantine Bishop any more than a Suffragan to the Metropolitan , or Primate of Heraclea ; wherein he had only ran the same fortune with the City , which was by Severus compell'd to truckle under the Jurisdiction of the Commonwealth of Heraclea her Rival , for having befriended Pescennius Niger his Enemy . But when Constantine had once made it the Metropolitan Seat of the Empire , then it was that the Bishops of Byzantium obtain'd the sole Title of Patriarch . Afterwards prompted by that Sin of Vain-glory so common to Mankind , and so natural to the Greeks , though they had receiv'd that Title only in consideration and out of respect to the Emperours , yet they claim'd all those Rights and Priviledges which they thought were any way due to their new Dignity . And so powerfully they sollicited the Emperour , that the Pope , sull fore against his will , was forc'd to grant them not only such demands , for which they had some grounds of Reason , but also the Primacy over all the three other Patriarchs of Antiochia , Alexandria , and Ierusalem ; and in regard that Constantinople was in Thrace , that Province also was given him , with several others which were formerly under the Jurisdiction of Rome , to which they had been annex'd by the Indulgence of the Emperours long before the fourth General Council , in the year 451. After whic● , these Patriarchs having usurp'd the large Provinces of Asia and Pontus , which appertain'd to the Patriarch of Antiochia , the Pope was constrain'd to grant them absolute Ecclesiastical Independency ; and to confirm this Grant authentic and inviolable by a Canon of the fifth Council , which was the second of the General Councils held at Constantinople in the year 553. The Primacy over all the other Patriarchates was likewise at the sollicitation of the Emperour Iustinian confirm'd them in the same Council . But however they obtain'd their Jurisdiction , it was of a large extent , as having under them 20 Archbishops , 24 Metropolitans , and a great number of Bishops . Nor have they who enjoy the Dignity at this day less , only the Revenue of so many Prelatures comes much short of what it was , though the people under their several Diocesses give them much more than what formerly they did . Since Vain-glory and Simony became Masters of the Patriarchate , all these Prelates are constrain'd to reimburse the person , who to clamber over his Predecessor's head , gives never so much Money to the Grand Signor . Which is the reason , that whereas the Emperours formerly gave great Presents to the Patriarchs , to gain by their means the favour of the People under their Jurisdiction , they now receive vaster Sums from them ; which daily encreasing through the exorbitant Ambition of the Patriarchs , will soon enhance the price so high , that in a short time it will be a difficult thing for all Greece to raise the Sum demanded . In the space of two years that I stay'd at Constantinople , two different Patriarchs gave for the Patriarchship , the one fifty , the other sixty thousand Crowns , as a Present to the Grand Signor . Considerable Sums for the Caloyers , who profess the Vow of Poverty , and ought to enjoy nothing of Propriety . Nevertheless when any of these Monks can meet with a rich Merchant , which will advance part of the Money , they propose their design to the Grand vizier , who fails not to grant the Title to him that gives most , and having receiv'd the Present , gives him the Barat or Grand Signor's Letters Patents , by vertue of which the old Patriarch is displac'd , and the new one settl'd in his room , with order to the Greeks to obey him , and to pay with all speed the Debts contracted , under the penalties of Bastinadoing , Confiscation , and shutting up their Churches . Which Order is presently sent to all the Archbishops and Metropolitans , who give immediate notice thereof to their Suffragans : Who laying hold on the opportunity , tax the Caloyers and People under their Jurisdiction , the sum assess'd by the Patriarch , and something more , under pretence of Expences and Presents extraordinary . Yet though the Promotion be thus irregular , they give the Title of Panagiotita Sou to this very Patriarch , when they make their Addresses to him , that is to say , Your All-Holiness , or Your most Supreme Holiness , so soon as he has taken possession of his Dignity , of which this is the Ceremony : The aspiring Caloyer , having notice that his Letters Patents are ready , hastens to the Serraglio , or to the Caymacan's house , with two or three Bishops of his own gang ; where being arriv'd , and having kiss'd in most humblewise the lowest part of the Governours Garments , the Grand Signor's Provisions are read to him ; then having put on over his Caloyer's black Habit , not much different from that of the Benedictines , two Vestments of vary-colour'd Tissue , which the Grand Signor presents him , he gets on Horseback with the Bishops in his train , who are jackpudding'd in the same Dress , and in this Equipage they ride from the Serraglio to the Patriarchal Church , which is about half a League off . The whole Cavalcade consists of no more than a dozen persons , that is to say , a Capigi , two Chiaux's , the Caymacan's Kiaia or Secretary , and some Janisaries that march before . Behind come the Bishops and some few Caloyers of his Faction , in a habit , fitter for a Masquerade , than the Train of a Patriarch . The Patriarch being arriv'd at the Door of the Church , which he finds shut , alights off his Horse , at what time the Vizier's or Caymacan's Secretary reads the Grand Signor's Letters Patents ; which done , and the Church Doors being open'd , the Secretary leads him in , and having plac'd him in the Patriarchal Seat , the whole Cavalcade returns from whence they came in the same order as they went. And thus the Patriarch enjoys the peaceable possession of his Dignity , 'till a Crotchet comes into the pate of some other Caloyer , to offer the t'other ten thousand Crowns , and then good night Nicholas to his dear purchas'd Honour . When all the Ceremony is over , all the Officers of the Church come to kiss the new Patriarch's hands , and to complement him with the Polychronos ti Panagiotita sou , like the Cimplement to the Roman Pontiff Ad multos annos . After this , Command is sent to all the Greek Prelates throughout the Ottoman Empire , to satisfie without delay the Tax which the new Patriarch has impos'd upon them , unless they intend that others shall be substituted in their places . To such a miserable condition has Schism , Vain-glory , and Simony , reduc'd the Greek Church , that it is now no more than the shadow of what it was formerly . Of the Archbishops , Bishops , Caloyers , Priests , and other Officers of the Greek Church . THE chiefest in Degree next the Patriarch are the Archbishops , who have under them several Suffragans ; though as well the Patriarch , as the Archbishops and Bishops , ought all to be of the Order of Caloyers , and to observe the Rules which they profess'd in their Convents . And indeed all these great Prelates live after one and the same manner , abstaining from Flesh , performing the same Duties in the Church , and having the same Religious persons under them , that is to say , Regular and Secular Priests . The Regular Priests , or Papas Hiereus , are such as never marry ; the Secular Priests , or Cosmicos Hiereus , are admitted that liberty , but not above once in their lives , nor to above one Woman at a time : But both the one and the other perform the same Duties in the Church , and read the same Office. Which is so tedious , that it takes up at least six hours in a day to go through with it . Which is the reason that they easily dispense with the greatest part of it , either for want of time or good will , or else because they have not wherewithall to buy them Books enough to compleat their Breviary . These Books are about six in number , all of them , but one or two , large Folio's , printed at Venice for the most part . The first is the Triodion , to be read in Lent ; the second Eucologion , containing all their Prayers ; the third Paraclitiki , comprehending all the Hymns , Anthems , and Songs , in honour of the holy Virgin , of which they have a vast number ; the fourth is the Penticestarion , where is the Office to be read from Easter to Whitsontide ; the fifth is the Mineon , containing the Offices for every Month ; and the sixth the Horologion , which ought to be read every day , in regard it contains all their Canonical Prayers . The length of this Office , and the price of the Books , is the reason that hardly any of the Bishops , Priests , or Caloyers , ever put themselves to the trouble of reading it . There are none that think it worth their while , unless it be at Mount Athos or the Holy Mountain , Neomogni in the Island of Chio , and some few other well-govern'd Convents : For all the rest of the Greek Clergy presume to lay it aside of their own accord , without expecting a Dispensation from the Bishops , who not having leasure to read it themselves , set them an Example which they are no less willing to follow . I should indeed have put the Order of Caloyers before the Bishops , nay the Patriarch himself , since there is not any who can pretend to those Degrees , unless he be a Caloyer . But in regard it is not the custom so to do among the Roman Catholics , these honest Caloyers shall give me leave for once to place them in the rank which best becomes their seeming Humility . Now this I must needs say , that take away their Ambition and their Vanity , the Caloyers lead most strict and exemplary Lives . Like the Religious Orders of the Church of Rome , they make the three Vows of Poverty , Chastity , and Obedience ; and they observe them very exactly , especially in all the great Convents , Monte Sina , Sancta Saba , St. Michael of Ierusalem , and those before mention'd . To this purpose they never eat Meat , but live upon Pulse , Herbs , and Fruits , which they manure themselves in the Lands adjoyning to their Convents . They who are near the Sea , may eat Fish , unless it be in Lent , and then it is a Sin so much as to mention the words Fish , Butter , or Cheese , without the following Parenthesis , Timi tis agias Saracostis ; With respect to the holy Lent be it spoke . And by their Example , the people are no less observers of that abstemious Season . All these Caloyers being compriz'd under the three Orders of St. Basil , St. Elias , and St. Marcellus , wear the same Habit , and observe almost all the same Rule . Every one of these Convents have their Superiours , the Friers , and the Novices , with the Lay-Brothers . The Superiour is call'd Higoumenos or Conductor , for the Title of Archimandritis or Abbot , is not so much us'd among them . This Higoumenos is very much reverenc'd by the Monks , especially in the great Monasteries ; for in the lesser where there are several of equal standing , they have much ado to preserve their Authority , especially when they enjoyn any displeasing Penance , farther than such a number of Genuflexions , or Fastings . For as for any other more rigorous , the Superiours dare not so much as mention them ; fearing if they should threaten the Monks with severer Punishments , lest they should drive them to a trick they have got , of not only renouncing their Superiours authority , but the Christian Religion , and to make some rash Oath to turn Turk by lifting their hands to Heaven ; a Wickedness so frequent among them , that there is hardly any considerable Town in all the Ottoman Empire , where you shall not meet some of these Kachi's Muhammed , Papas Mustapha , Murat Carabache ; that is to say , several Monks and Priests , Armenians , Syrians , Greeks , and others , who throw away their Cassocks and Caps in exchange for the Turbant , which is of very ill consequence ; for if these people are marry'd , and happen to have Children , all the Males above 15 years of age are bound to follow their Father's Religion : Though if they be of riper years , they are permitted to live at home with their Mothers and Sisters in the Christian Faith. So that the fear of losing absolutely those which they would only chastise according to their merit , causes the Superiours to be very cautious of inflicting severe Penances , unless upon such as are willing to submit to whatever they impose , or are very Criminal indeed . To this purpose I shall relate a short Story which happen'd in Syria while I was there . Near to Damas stands a very fair Convent of Nuns and Monks ( I put the Nuns first , because the place belongs properly to them . ) This Monastry lies five or fix Leagues from Damas to the Northwest , dedicated to the holy Virgin under the name of Esseidé Saidnaia . It is seated one part at the foot of a Mountain belonging to the Monks , the other part at the top , belonging to the Nuns . Both the one and the other wear black , and obey the Order of St. Anthony . Now in regard these Nuns live much after the same rate of the Nuns of the Ave Mary at Paris , a young Frier weary of the solitude of his Convent , bethought himself ( under pretence of the begging Trade , which those honest Virgins drive over all the Jurisdiction of the Patriarch of Antiochia ) to take a mumping Ramble all over Syria , but not understanding the Limits to which the begging Trade of the Convent of Saidnaia was confin'd , because he would not be known near home , he resolv'd to continue his vagabonding up as far as Ierusalem . To which prupose he had counterfeited Letters from the Abbess of Saidnaia , by vertue of which he had got together a considerable sum of Money , considering that Country was none of the most wealthy in the World. And thus encourag'd , he was in hopes to loyter on as far as Tripoli in Syria , where he might Embark either for Europe or for Constantinople , as he should see convenient . But coming to Dgebel Ageloun , a large Mountain encompass'd with small Christian Villages , he met there at the same time two of the Patriarch of Ierusalem's Money-Collectors , which that Prelate sends every year into those parts . Those fellows demanded of him for whom he begg'd ? to whom the Caloyer answer'd , for the Abbess of Saidnaia . Thereupon the Ierusalem Collectors , not enduring such an encroachment upon their territories , sent him to their Patriarch , who after he had wrote to the Abbess , and receiv'd her answer , detecting the Caloyers falshood , took from him his habit of Priest and seculariz'd him , as unworthy of his profession and the habit which he wore . And thus the Superiours of Monasteries in extraordinary cases , for the support of their dignity , will not stick with ignomy to deprive such Monks of their habit , who are either obstinately disobedient , or from whose behaviour they are afraid of some trouble or ill accident . For they regard not the Vows which they have made to live and dye under such an Order , since those Vows are not made , but at the good pleasure of the Patriarch and Superiours of the Convent . The profess'd Monks and other Fathers make no scruple to do the same ; for they quit their habit as they find most for their advantage . Nay , though they have been Noviciats at least two years before Profession , they many times leave the Convent to live upon their own Demeanes ; or else absolutely to quit both Habit and Order . For their Vows are rather a reciprocal engagement which they make with the Order which they embrace , upon the deposition of a certain sum of Mony at their entrance , than any Vow , or any solemn obligation to live under the strict rules of the Order . Nevertheless these professed Monks , and all the rest of the Religious Fathers , labour altogether for the good of the Convent all the time they live in it . Some take care of the Fruits , others of the Corn , others of the Cattel , and generally of every thing that appertains to the house . To which purpose , they employ their Novices also more often in the fields than in the exercises of spiritual meditation and retirement , to which they apply themselves as little as to their studies . Which is the reason that the Caloyers are commonly so sottish and ignorant , that you shall scarcely meet with any in the biggest Convents who understand any thing of the Greek letters , in which character their service and all their Prayers are written . Now the necessity which the Caloyers are in to manure their own Lands , causes them to receive a great number of lay-Brothers into their Convents , so many , that they almost equal the number of the Religious persons . These lay-Brothers spend their whole time abroad in the fields , never returning home till the evening ; where notwithstanding their toyl and labour all the day long , they fail not to assist at a long Prayer , and to make a great number of Metaniai , or genuflections , bowing their knees to the ground , first down , then up again , then down again , with a motion so swift as is to be admir'd ; which done , contented with a light Supper , they betake themselves to their repose , which is upon a bed which is not much softer than the bare boards , expecting till early Matins and dawning daylight call them to their wonted labour . Over all these Religious Monks there are Provincial Visitors , though much different from ours in Europe . For ours make their visitations to hear the complaints of the injur'd , theirs , whom they call Exarchi , never visit the Convents under their jurisdiction , but to demand the mony which the Patriarch sends for . So that these poor Caloyers have but an ill time of it , to moyl and sweat , and to cause their Lay-Brothers to toyl and labour : For no sooner have they got a little mony together for the necessities of their house , but the Patriarch sends his Visitors to discharge them of it . Yet notwithstanding all these Taxes which the Religious Greeks are bound to pay , there are some Convents in Turkie very well endow'd , and some particular Monks so Rich , that they dare adventure sometimes to beard the Patriarch himself , and to buy him out of his Dignity , as I said before , especially being assisted by the Purse , and cunning advice of some Rich Merchant , who knows how to come by his Mony again with good Interest . Next to the Orderly Caloyers and Religious Priests , follows that of the Seculars , or Cosmicos Hiereus . I have told ye , that all these sorts of Priests are usually Marry'd ; but some circumstances relating to their Marriage I have not yet related . So soon as they have been under the hands of the Ecclesiastical Barber , who trims generally as they do among the Catholicks , and that they have serv'd the Church for some Months , they are admitted into the number of the Anagnostai or Readers , being thereby capacitated to read Mattins , the Psalms , and such other things which our Clerks generally sing . The Anagnostine perhaps may be the same with our four Minors , as comprehending all the Duties which the Anagnostai ought to exercise . But in regard there are other persons employ'd as Porters , Bell-ringers , and such like Officers , their imployment is only to read . When I speak of Bell-Ringers in the Greek Church , it is not to be imagin'd that they are such who Toll their Bells as formerly . No , for the Turks spoyl'd all the Steeple-Music in the Greek Church . Instead of which , a certain Instrument call'd a Simandron , serves turn , which is a long narrow piece of Board , upon which the Officer rattles with a wooden stick , till he make the Board groan again ; the noise of which assembles the poor Christians together . When the term of Clerkship is expir'd , the Bishop ordains him a Deacon , giving him power to officiate at the Altar , and sing the Epistle , after which , if the Deacon have a desire to Marry he is free so to do . Only he must give the Bishop notice of it , and tell him with all the name and place of the Virgins abode , to the end he may enquire of her good qualities , and take particular care that she is handsome . For it is requisite that a Greek Papa's Wife have three good properties , Dis●retion , Chastity , and Beauty . But why more beautiful than Laymen ? The reason is plain . For the Lay-men may Marry as often and as many as the please , but the Papa can Marry but one , and but once all his life time . And therefore it is but reason that the Papa , who makes provision at once for all , should have all those good qualities in one person , which if a Lay-man misses in one , he may find in an other . And indeed they are generally very fortunate in their Chaces : For if there be e're a handsome young Girl in the whole Quarter where a Matrimonical Priest is upon the hunt , every one strives to have him for a Son-in-law : As if the beauty in the Grecian women had been always consecrated , if not to God , yet to his Ministers ; by which the most charming Beauties being emptied to those whom it behoves to be most pure , it becomes a Proverb among the Greeks , that when they would praise or flatter a young Lady , they say , she surpasses in virtue and beauty the fairest Papadie . And true it is , that their beauty is generally grac'd with a most pleasing modesty , to which the white vail which they wear upon their heads , the neatness of their habit , and their harmless conversation , add such a luster , that it is impossible but that they should win the affections of their Husbands . For this reason the young Papa's are permitted to leave their severe employments for some time , to attend the more delightful pastime of courtship , and taking order for their Nuptials . The Ceremonies of which being over , they return to their Functions , and are admitted into the Order of Hiero - Deacons , with power to read the Gospel , and officiate at the Altar with the Priest , till he be in a capacity to be made a Priest himself . These are the chief Degrees in the Greek Church , the meaner Officers are first , the Sacristans or Skeuophilakes , who take care of the sacred Vessels , and Church-utensils . The second are the Calonarki , that name the Anthems and Songs , and set the Tunes . The third are the Tyrori , or Porters , who take care to open and unlock the Church Doors ; and the least are the Candilafti , that look after the Lamps . Of their Offices . AS to the Offices themselves , they differ according to the custom and Revenues of the place . In great Convents the Monks rise at Midnight to read the Mesonyction . Which Office lasts generally two hours . But upon great Festivals the Mesonyction is chang'd into Olonyction , which lasts all night . The institution of that Office was prudently intended to prepare them for the devotions of the following day . But many are the abuses crept in , which might be easily Reform'd , had the Greek Church Pastors as wise and learned as the Latine . Some I will relate which I have observ'd . The Feasts that follow this Holonyction are either Panigyri , which we call Fairs ; or Polyeleon , which signifies plenarie Indulgence . To these Feasts there ●●ock great numbers of people : And in regard the most part go more out of custome than devotion , they carry along with them provision of good chear , to spend the night merrily . So that the singers themselves , being generally good fellows that will not refuse their Cups , fail not to meet with one good friend or other , that gives them frequent occasions to take breath , and to make pauces and rests which they do not find in their prick-song . Being once at Nenita , a famous Town in the Island of Chio , upon St. Michaels day , there happen'd the feast of that Arch Angel call'd the Panegyri , tou Taxiarchi . At what time a friend of mine would needs have me go and see the fashion of this Holonyction . The Town , not being above eight miles from Chio , we arriv'd there the Seventh of September , which was the Eve of the Feast ( for in all the Greek Churches they follow the ancient Kalenders ) and after a slight Supper , being fasting night , we went to Church about Ten a Clock , by which time the Church was so throng'd that we had much ado to get to the Chanters seat , whither I was resolved to croud , that I might hear the Melody to the best advantage . It was near an hour before the Service began , and there was already such a horrid noise and confusion , that the Calonarchi not being able to raise their Voices to be heard by those that were to take the Tune from their Notes , and the Chanters not having their books before them prick'd and rul'd as in Europe , the Music which was not in very good order was forc'd to crease ; so that the Proto-psalti or Rector of the Quire grew angry , and at length his patience forsaking him , after he had struck several blows upon the Bench where he sate with his Dekaniki or Deans staff of Authority , he turn'd to the people and cry'd out as low'd as he could bawl , Sopotate Theocatarati ; Curst of God , will ye never hold your Clacks ? The noise of the stick , and the thundering Voice of the Ephimerios or Master of the Quire , begat an indifferent silence for a while , and gave the Choristers leisure to reharken to the Tune . But presently , after the Calonarchi reading and baulling one thing , and the Choristers Singing and answering quite another thing , as having sipp'd a little too much of the creature , put the multitude into such a hideous strain of Laughter , that now the whole Church was all in an uproar , nothing but noise and confusion , and the Choristers were once more forc'd to put up their Pipes . This hurly burly endur'd along while , till the Proto-psalti horn-mad began to lay on again with his Battoon , and redoubling his fury , cry'd out a second time , Sopateda Fourkismeni , Hang-Dogs be quiet . For you are to understand , that these Papa's are meer Clowns , and so regardless of the gravity and decency that belongs to their functions , that they make slight of cursing and giving ill Language in the very Church it self , as being their common way of reproving those that they find misbehaving themselves in the time of Divine service . Neither is it so much out of their zeal , but meerly out of an ill custome and habit of bad language , that they thus bespatter their Parishioners , which they will not scruple , in their fury , sometimes to call Rogue and Rascal in the midst of their Devotions for very slight miscarriages . Thus the whole night was spent in an alternative variation of squealing and singing , ribble rabble , chat , noise and din , laughing and cursing , with some lucid intervals of silence and praying , till Morning slumber having seized the greatest part of the Congregation , wearied with talk and hard drinking , they said their Prayers in a little more tranquillity : Prayers being ended , they went every one to dress their Victualls , and dinner being ready they fell to eating and drinking , and so to jumping and dancing . But in the better regulated Convents , this Holonyction is observ'd with greater decency , in regard they are more carefull to keep out the multit●de which cause the disorder . After the Mesonyction Office is over , which lasts till within two hours of Morning , the Monks return to their Cells till Five of the Clock , at what time they begin their Mattins and Hymns , together with the Prime , which is always Sung at break of day ; for they still so order the Service , that the Prime is always sung at Sun-rising . Which being done , every one retires to his Cell or to his labour , till Nine of the Clock ; at which time they return to Chappel to sing the Ten a Clock Noon Prayers , and to say Mass : Which finish'd , the Monks retire to the Refectory , where there is a Lecture read ' em as they sit at Dinner . As they rise from Table , both Morning and Evening , the Cook falls upon his Knees , and as if he expected the reward of his pains or the pardon of his faults , he cryes out to the Monks as they pass by him , Eulogite Pateres , your blessing good Fathers ! to which every one makes answer , Theos Syncoresi , God bless thee . Thence they retire to their Chambers , or to work , as they please , till Four a Clook , at what time the Simandron calls 'em again to Chappel , where they finish Evening Service , and go to Supper at six ; Supper done , they return to Chappel , to read the Service which they call Apodipho , the after Supper-Service ; which being concluded , at ●ight every one retires to his repose till Midnight . At what time they have no occasion to spend much time in dressing , in regard they lye in their Cloaths , putting off only their upper Garment : There being none but the Europeans that make use of Sheets in Turkie . Now in regard the Caloyers are they who enjoy the principal dignities in the Greek Church , therefore all other Priests are conformable to their example ; which is the reason they never say above one Mass in a day , let there be never so many Priests in the Convent . So that the Roga or Salarie of Twenty or Thirty Crowns a year , which the Church-Wardens pay to the Priest , is only for his assisting at the Office , and not for saying Mass , which the people hardly understand , so that a great number come when it is half over , and others when it is quite ended . Nor do they who come last any way strive to excuse their sluggishness , believing it enough to go in and look upon the Church , and make a few genuflections and so home again ; for they cry , God's compassionate , he 'l be merciful to those that hear but half , and save those that come when all 's done . This may seem to be a kind of shadow of the ancient Divine Worship in the Temple of Sancta Sophia , if we may be permitted to take our observation from what is now in practice ; but certain it is , that they are fallen into an infinite number of errours , through the extream ignorance of their Priests , who either uphold the people , or precipitate them into all the superstitious abuses of true Religion , which a disorder'd and irregular ignorance can be guilty of ; either to satisfy the silly devotion of the ill-instructed multitude , or their own particular Interest , and profound sin of Avarice , which is too deeply rooted in the whole Priesthood . All which abuses may be mainly attributed to the little respect they shew to God in their Churches , and the extream obstinacy wherewith they persist in their opinions . The first plunges them into a great number of miscarriages under pretence of Religion , and the second will not permit them to acknowledge their errours . I shall here insert some few Examples both of the one and the other . I came to the Island of Zant , during the time of the Greeks Easter , at what time rather at the Instigation of my curiosity than devotion , I was resolv'd to stay the whole Office out , which they sing at that Festival . To this purpose I was oblig'd to go at Three a Clock in the Morning to the Greek Church , which is call'd il Domo de Greci , though it be not the Cathedral of that place , in regard the Greek Bishop , in whose Diocess lyes the Island of Zant , resides as Cephalonia . That Morning the Proto-papas , or chief Priest , began the Office at Four a Clock in the Morning , which lasted till Nine ; though in other places , where they are more pester'd with Turks , they begin at Midnight or sooner , to the end they may have done by break of day . But in all that time I did not observe , neither in the Gestures of the Priest , nor in the Prayers themselves , any thing that could inspire the least devotion into a man. Every thing was done with so little decency or Reverence , that I did not much admire at what afterwards happen'd . The Sun being up , and the Priest in the middle of the Office , I was strangely surpriz'd to hear the noise of so many Pistols and small fire Armes let off , and at the same time a confused cry , Christos Anesti , Christ is Risen : But this surprize of mine in a very short time turn'd into as violent a laughter , which I could not forbear upon this Occasion . A hairbrain'd sootish young fellow , who stood very near a Papa , taking no notice when he let off his Pistoll , that the good old man had a great head of hair and a stately long Beard , according to the custome of all the Greek Priests , fir'd his Pistol so near to the Papa's reverend bush , that his Locks and Beard were all in a suddain flame : Which caus'd such a vast disturbance in the midst of Divine Service , not a little interrupted before by the noise of the Pistolls , that it would have afforded sport to any man , that had not been under the same consternation of Bacon-singeing , that possess'd the poor afflicted Papa . This Ceremony , first brought into use to testify their joy as well for their being rid of a meager Lent , as for the hopes of Resurrection , which that Feast confirms to all Christians , is observ'd not only in the Island of Zant , but also over all Turkie and the Ar●hipelago ; and though it never be observ'd , without some fatal disorder , yet the Greek Priests never speak a word of suppressing it as an abuse crept into the Church , no more than they do of another Ceremonious custom as idle , for the Priest to give about a cup of strong water to all persons that are so happy to stand in his quarter . On the other side , finding that the Toleration of these follies gains the affection , and opens the purses of their Parishioners , they are so far from abolishing the old , that they strive every day to introd●ce new superstitions that may any way contribute to satisfy their natural and inherent Avarice . Of which the Polykirion is an evident proof . This is a Ceremonie not unlike that which is us'd upon Candlemas day among the Latines , and falls out to be observ'd twice a year , upon the Ephiphani and at Easter ; for these being the two most noted Holy-days among the Greeks , and which therefore bring the greatest numbers of people to Church , the Priests took an opportunity to introduce a Ceremony that every person should receive from them a Wax-Candle , which cost them no more than Three or Four Sous a piece , but for which the people Ten or Eight at least . 'T is true they give the Children small pitiful Taylors fearing Candles for nothing , which as their Parents take for a great favour , so it keeps them from diving into the Cheat. The Papa's have another stratagem to milk their Parishioners by means of their Sphragides or mark'd Loaves . The secular Priests carry every one of them to Church a Houshould loaf , and the Clerks and Deacons having cut it into small pieces , the Priest blesses them , as he distributes to all the Congregation . This is observ'd upon all Holy-days and Sundays toward the people . But the Priests having thus engag'd the Multitude , and unwilling to lose by their charity and benedictions , put this trick upon 'em the first Sunday in every Lent , to reimburse themselves . For then every Family covetous of the Papa's Blessing , Bakes and brings to Church , a little Loaf made in the form of a Cross , of which the four extream parts are like a Lozenge , and the middle part round ; and every part mark'd with the name of Iesus thus , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . These Loaves the Priest takes , and having blest them , breaks one Loaf into five parts , and gives them to five several people : Now in regard those pieces being thus blest are presently endu'd with secret vertues , equal to all the Charms , Antidotes and Amulets in the world , therefore the people are oblig'd to pay for every mark'd piece six blanks , by which means one blessed Bun , which costs them nothing , in regard every Family provides their own Loaf , produces them being divided to five persons , no less than Twelve or Thirteen Sous ; which is a very good blessing-interest . Yet notwithstanding all these petty cheats and several others which the Priests impose upon the people , to pinch mony out of their pockets , those poor Christians are the most zealous to obey their orders and injunctions of any people in the world , and to give them whatever they demand . They firmly believe that a Papa can never tell a lye , and that no Oracle spoke such truth as what a Greek Priest utters , whatever his ignorance , and how low and self Interested soever his soul may be . It is impossible to make a Levantine acknowledge , that the Bishops , Priests , and other Ministers of their Church , being so lumpishly dull and sottish as they are , are uncapable of instructing them in matters of Faith which are above their reach . And therefore they choose rather blindly to obey their commands , than to suffer themselves to be better taught , or convinc'd of their errours . Of their Faith. AS for what concerns their Faith , they neither know what they believe , nor what it is they ought to believe . Their Papa's never speak a word of Catechisms , Articles of Faith , of Hope , or Charity ; or if at any time a Papa mounts the Pulpit , 't is not so much to make a pious exhortation to the people , nor to direct them how to lead their lives like Christians , nor so much as to read a good Homily which is more easy , but to gain the Two Crowns which is generally given to the Preacher for his Sermon , which as the people do not understand , so neither do the Papa's know what they say . And which is more , they draul out their words at such a distance one from another , that though they stand a full hour in their Pulpits , yet they hardly utter Four Hundred words in all the time . Nevertheless they are in high esteem , and the poor people that understand not , nay some that heard not a word the Papa said , cry one to an other as they go home , Psila Emiliseno Didascalos . What a rare Preacher was this , what wonderful things has he said ! Thereupon I once ask'd some of their Adorers what it was they so much admir'd , and what it was their Parson had told them , that was so charming to their ears ? But when I found that not one of them could remember the least tittle of what they so highly commended , I made answer , Psila Emiliseno Didascalos diatiden heptases . Most certainly your Preacher spoke Mysteries , for I find that none of you know what he said . Of their Sacraments . COncerning the Administration of the Sacraments , they are by them administred after a manner so different and disagreeing from the first Institution of the sacred Mysterie , that you would swear they either believe not in what they do , or else that they take little care of what they are about . They number Seven Sacraments , but to make short work of it , they administer but Three . Baptisme , Confirmation , and the Eucharist ; they give them all together to Infants Forty days after the birth ; sometimes later , sometimes sooner , at the pleasure of the Parents , or as necessity requires . Penitence , Extream Vnction and the Eucharist , they make use of all together likewise , five times a year , at Easter , Saint Peter's , St. Paul's , the Assumption of our Lady , and Christmas ; the Order and Marriage they confirm both together , and upon the same person . Concerning Baptisme ; when the Child is in a condition to be Baptiz'd , they make choise of a Godfather and Godmother , if it be a Boy ; if a Girl , they many times content themselves with a Godmother only . Then the Infant is carry'd to Church , where he is plunged over head and ears in the Colymbitra or Font of Baptisme . Which done , the Godfather carry's the Child , Midwife-like , to the great door of the Sanctuary , where they anoint the Childs head , neck , stomach , shoulders , armpits , hands , elbows , leggs and feet : Which done , they put upon the Infant a white shirt , and wastcoate , and such other accoutrements as are requisite , which they never put off in eight days after . At what time the Godfather and Godmother carry the Child again to Church , there to have all the Childs swaths and linnen wash'd , which he has foul'd during the eight days . All which is done in a little stone Vessel , bored through in the middle , lest the sacred Oyls that besmear'd the Infants Cloaths should be profan'd by powring away the water that wash'd them upon the Ground . This Oyl is highly esteem'd among the Eastern Christians , especially among the Armenians , who some while since , had a great dispute in Law upon this very subject . Their Patriarch , who generally resides in the upper Armenia , lives in a large convent , which the Armenians in their Language call Echemiazin , the Turks in regard of its three Churches Vscha Klisia , and the Europeans , the Three Churches . It is seated in a large Plain at the foot of the famous Mountain Ararat . This Patriarch was wont always to make the Myron ( for so is the holy Oyl call'd ) and sent it from time to time to all the Armenian Bishops , as well those in Persia and Turkie , as to all the rest who had not permission to make this Oyl , which was a priviledg only belonging to the Patriarch . But it happen'd that about Ten years since , the Bishop of Ierusalem having an Ambition to make himself Patriarch , for that Iacob Vartabiet , the present Catholicoës or Patriarch of Armenia , had given over his trade , by an immediate power from the Grand Signor , fell to work himself , and made such a quantity of the holy Oyl , as 't is thought would suffice all the Armenians in Turkie for several years , which new Ierusalem Myron has caus'd such a schism among the Armenians , that all those who live in Turkie are now separated from their ancient Brethren , and refuse the Bishop of Ierusalem's Myron , who by the authority of the Grand Signor had usurp'd the Patriarchship of the Armenians , and maintains his ground notwithstanding all the suits in Law commenced against him , and great sums of mony expended by the former Patriarch , who thereupon came the last year to Constantinople , to try whether he could bring the Ierusalem Bishop to an accommodation , and to take his Myron of him again as he did before . This Oyl is boyl'd in a great Kettle with several odoriferous herbs and drugs , and the wood that feeds the fire is all sacred fuel , as the Relicks of broken Images , torn books , and such other Church-moveables as have been formerly consecrated to pious uses . Nor will all this serve , unless it be made and bless'd by the Patriarch himself , and three or four Metropolitan Bishops , who in their pontifical habits , and with their devoutest Prayers continually attend the Composition from the Vespers of Palm-Sunday , till Holy-Thursday Mass , which is celebrated upon the great Jar , where this precious Oyl is put up for use . And this is that holy Oyl employ'd in all Unctions of Baptisme and Confirmation , which is never twice apply'd to the same person . But there is another Oyl which they call Eukoloon , or the blessed Oyl of Prayer , which the Greeks frequently make use of to anoint those who are in perfect health , but the Latines never but only to the gasping . The Greeks also give it at great feasts to those who have confess'd and receiv'd the Communion , but then they apply it only to the forehead and hands , and the Priest when he performs the Ceremony , repeats the end of the seventh verse of the 122 Psalm , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , The Net is broken , and we are escap'd . The fourth sort of Unction in the Greek Church is that which is given to the Priests , whether Caloyers , single men , or Marry'd ; for the Sacrament of the Order is common to both . Therefore when any person desires to be ordain'd a Priest , he is first examin'd whether he can Write and Read ; for it is now adays a very great accomplishment among the Greeks to have study'd so far , there being several admitted to the Priesthood that can do neither . Being thus examin'd by his Pneumaticos or Confessor , who is many times as ignorant as himself , he is presented to the Bishop ; who , upon the report of the spiritual Father , gives him his Orders , yet so as the ceremonie is not compleated in less than Three days one after another ; nor till the Bishop be satisfy'd of his life and conversation , nor till he is proclaim'd in a full Congregation axios , or worthy . The Sacrament of Penitence among the Greeks at this day consists only in rehearsing their sins to the Pneumaticos , and undergoing the penance enjoyn'd . However this recital is made without any serious examination of the confession last made , nor accompa●y'd with any act of true sorrow or contrition 'T is sufficient that they sit down in a Cha●r by the Confessor , and in that commodious posture make him a rehearsal of their faults themselves , or else tarry to hear what questions their Confessor will ask them , and then patiently receive his injunctions of mild Penance ; which amounts to such a number of knee-bendings , or so many Almes , which is more welcome . The next morning , or it may be the same day , after the Priest has receiv'd himself , he sings with a loud voice at the great door of the Sanctuary , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , Approach in the fear of God , in Faith and Charity ; and then all the Communicants crowd to the said door , at what time the Priest taking up the Chalice in his left hand fill'd with Wine and sops of Bread , and a Spoon in his right hand , which they call Labidi , he distributes a spoonful of Bread and Wine to very one , not excepting the young Lads of Thirteen or Fourteen years of age , at which years the Greeks think 'em able to advise themselves ; more especially seeing that it would be unreasonable to deny the Communion to such , when they administer it to sucking Infants . The people throng in great numbers to this Metalambasis or Communion , which they receive without ever kneeling . And indeed there is no other posture at Church in fashion , than that of standing among the Greeks . And for this reason it is , that instead of Seats and Pews , you see nothing in their Churches but your Dekanikiai , which are a certain sort of staves about four and five foot in length , headed like Crutches , and upon these Crutches they lean and rest themselves when they are weary with standing up right . And in this posture they also receive the Communion , under both kinds , of Bread and Wine mix'd together in the same Potirion , and with the same spoon , without any thing of squeamishness or distast one of another , not believing that any one who approaches the Eucharist can receive harm or infection of his Neighbour . Yet the Priests are so civil , that if they see any one with an apparent pair of scabbie chops , or that has any other foul disease about him , they will forbear to nauseat the stomachs of the rest , but order them to stay and receive a-part ; though if they should be so clownish as to make no dictinction , 't would be reckon'd no great crime . In other respects there is that disorder in the administration of the Sacrament , that the crowd of people thronging in upon the Priest , cause him many times to spill the sacred liquor upon their Cloaths ; and often upon the ground . Which proves a sad accident to the poor Priest ; who cannot perhaps help the unruliness of the Multitude . For the Bishop being inform'd of this mischance , presently suspends the unfortunate Papa many times for five or six years . The Person thus suspended is called Argos ; as it were to teach the Priest , that he who will undertake to hold such a blessed Liquor in his hand ought to have Argus's eyes in his head , and that if he miscarry in his duty , he deserves no less than the punishment of that same drousie Guardian . As concerning Marriage , the Ceremonies of performance vary according to the custom of the Country , though the essential part of the Sacrament be the same . But the same Person cannot Marry above three times ; insomuch that a person that has been Marry'd above three times is pointed at as we point at Cut-purses or common Shop-lifters in the street . Now when two young couple are to be Marry'd , supposing they be pass'd the Age of Thirteen years , their Parents agree together and make up the Match without ever acquainting the young couple , unless it be at Chios and some other places in the Archipelago , where the young couple are too yare for their Parents , and agreeing upon the business between themselves , are Marry'd several Months many times before their Parents know any thing of the matter . And as these sort of private alliances are very frequent , it is observable that they fall out much more to the content and felicity of both parties , than those which are made by the Parents without the consent of the Children . But however it happen , the Wedding-day being come , and the Contract being sign'd before the Papa , the person to be Marry'd goes to the Cadi , to whom he gives a Crown for a Koget , or License to Marry such a person , of whose name and habitation he gives the Cadi a note ; which done , either in the Morning or Afternoon the Bridegroom and the Bride go separately to the Church , where the ceremony is performed much after the European manner , only with this difference , that in the Contract which is made before Marriage the Husband cannot give to his affianc'd Mistress as a present above Fifty Crowns in Silver , leaving him at liberty however to augment the sum if he pleases afterwards , though there is no obligation laid upon him . This Law was made to the end that Virgins might not be hindred from Marrying to the first that courted them , upon hopes that another would give more ; and for their Dowry they take the fourth part of the houshold Goods which the Husband leaves at his death , though perhaps she brought to her Husband very little or nothing ; it may be some few Cloaths , Cushions , Coverlets , or Quilts , which are very much us'd among the Eastern people . The Ceremonies of the Contract , and of the Church being over , the Bride and Bridegroom , their Godfathers and Godmothers , their Parents and Guests invited , return home to the Brides house , and there begin their feasting and jollitie , which according to the quality of the person continues till the eighth day after the Wedding ; in which time the Marry'd couple many times eat themselves out of house and home , and pawn their Goods to support the glory of the Ceremony . They also observe two other Feasts during their lives , that is to say , their own Birth-days , and those of the death of their Parents . And in some parts of Turkie , there is a laudable custom among the Christians to feast all their friends , when their Sons being arriv'd at the age of Fourteen years begin to pay the Carache or Tribute which the Turks set upon the head of every Christian ; as if they rejoyc'd with the Apostles that they were accompted worthy to suffer ignominy for Christ's sake . Of their Festivals . We May also add to the number of the Grecian days of Merriment , the Festivals which they observe through the whole year , especially in the Islands , where the Christians enjoy far more liberty than upon the Terra Firma . The most remarkable of these Festivals are St. Andrew , St. Nicholas , the Forty Martyrs , and St. George . The first of these Festivals is solemniz'd by the Greeks upon the accompt that St. Andrew , being an Elder Apostle than St. Peter , was the first that Christ call'd to the Christian Faith. They also believe him to be the Eldest Apostle , because he first Preached the Gospel in Greece , where some will have him to be the Founder of the Church at Constantinople , and give him the Title of Proto-Patriarchis or first Patriarch . But the manner of keeping his Holy-day , is no way correspondent to that honour which they pretend to bear him . 'T is true they go to Church in the morning , but all the day after , they feast one another , and the Women do not believe they have done St. Andrew right , if they do not Fry for the whole Family a certain sort of Fritters and Pancakes , which they call Tiganites , fry'd in a pan with Oyl . The same chear they have upon St. Nicholas day , only that they throw into the Batter a Temin , which is a small piece of mony worth five Sous , or else a Para which is another piece of money to the value of Eighteen Deniers , of which one makes the tenth part of an English Peny ; and that person of the family who finds that piece of money is esteemed very fortunate ; a ceremony much like our chusing of King and Queen . Hagii Sarande's is another of their Holy-days , which though it fall out in Lent , yet the Greeks make no scruple to honour it with the best chear they can make ; especially in the Islands and out-Villages , where they dance and frisk it like the Maids about a May-Pole . I have often admir'd why the Greeks are so jocund upon this Holy-day , considering the almost natural Antipathy between them and the Armenians , in whose Country it was that these happy Saints laid down their Lives for the Faith of Christ , as being the Forty Saints that were put to death at Sebastia in Armenia . Nor are they less merry upon St. Georges day . So that the Greek Holy-days are spent rather in Feasts and dancing than in exercises of devotion . Nor do they repeat upon those days their Pater Noster half so often , as the following verses , which serve to regulate the movement of their dances , Ascore Psomai Kai asinai Ton Hagion Sarandon inai . Let us dance and spend at leisure Forty-Martyrs-day in pleasure . Besides these more solemn Festivals , the Greeks have also several Holy-days that will make a Traveller laugh let him be ne're so serious . About the middle of March I came to the Island of Mitylene , which is the ancient Lesbos , where the great Pittacus one of the seven wise men of Greece was born , and walking one day through the City , I saw the Women at several Windows , some laying on with good big sticks upon skillets , others upon copper pans , or the covers of Kettles , others upon other sorts of Kitchin furniture , and all to make a noise . Wondering at the meaning of such a dismal noise , I went into the house of a friend of my fellow Travellers . There I found the Children dancing in the chamber to the barbarous melody their Mother made upon her brass Kettle-Drum at the Window , at the end of every Verse of a Ballad , which two of the family sung well enough , considering they were never taught at a Boarding-School , the whole Choir came in with the burden of the Song , which was to this effect . Oxo psili kai cori mesa Martis kai chara . March behind and give us ease , Driving hence our Knats and fleas . For the Women believe that by vertue of this ceremonie , every year perform'd upon St. David's day , the Fleas will never come near a house were they hear such a horrid noise about their ears , at the beginning of the Spring . But wofull experience will teach a Traveller the vanity of this charming superstitiou . For there are such a world of Knats over all the East , that the best charm a man can make use of is only a Psilo-diogma or a good Fly-flap , to Murder as fast as he can those profest enemies of his rest . 'T is true the young Greeks , who are loath to carry the marks of their stings upon their tender skins , have found out another sort of Persecution for their destruction . For every night before they lye down , they wash their necks and arms with Vinegar , to secure at least those parts which are expos'd most to publick view . The Religious Exercises of the Turks in Sancta Sophia , and elsewhere . AFter that Mahomet the Second had taken the City of Constantinople , and had made his Entry into the Church of Sancta Sophia on Horseback , that same sacred Temple , which the Christians had formerly Dedicated to the Eternal Wisdom of the Son of God , ceas'd to be a place for the celebration of the Divine Mysteries of the Christian Religion ; so that after the 29 th of May , in the year 1453. the former melodious sounds of those sacred Hymns and Songs that accompany the Worship of God , was chang'd into the hoarse discords of the Turkish Namas , which is the ordinary Prayer of the Mahometans . But in regard this Namas may be consider'd with respect to him that prays , as it concerns his Neighbour , and with respect ot God himself , it may not be amiss to take a short view of a good Musselmans Duty , before he goes to his Prayers , while he is at his Prayers , and after he has finish'd his Devotions , to the end he may acquit himself well in reference to himself , his obligations toward his Neighbour , and his duty towards God. The Preparatious requisite for a Turk , before he goes to Prayers are five ; the first is to believe the Articles of the Mahometan Faith. The second , to be Circumcis'd . The third , to forgive his Enemies , The Fourth , to hasten to the Mosquee when he is call'd . And the fifth is to wash , which is the preparation just before Prayers . Of the Faith of the Turks . ALL the Articles of the Mahometan Faith may be reduc'd to two ; namely , that there is but one God , and Mahomet his peculiar Prophet or Messenger . For the word Resul-alla signifies rather a Messenger than a Prophet of God. The belief of only one God happen'd by chance to the Turks ; if we may credit Iacoub Elkindi , an Author whose Works are to be seen in Syriac , who assures us , that the Alcoran being written , Sergius sent Mahomet to some of the Arabian Idolaters , who ador'd a huge Statue they call'd by the name of Hachar , which signifies great or vast of bulk , to tell them , that being commissionated of God , he did by his command advertise them no longer to adore any more Idols , but to acknowledge the only true and one God which had sent him . But those Idolatrous Arabians , devoted to the worship of their Hachar , would give no heed to his message ; for , said they very gravely and considerately , if we must adore one only God which is thine , what shall become of our Hachar ? Mahomet , not knowing what answer to make to such a difficult and puzsling objection , return'd back again , to consult with the Monk Sergius . Who considering of what Importance it was to bring over those Arabians to the Law which he was going about to establish , in regard they were very numerous and neighbouring upon Mount Sinia , where he had been a Monk , sent back the new Legislator to acquaint 'em , that he had consulted the Divinitie concerning their answer , and that he was satisfy'd they should have the same esteem they had before for their old friend Hachar , provided they would adore God too , in testimony whereof , he was content that from thence forward all the true Musselmen should be call'd to their Prayers in the name of God and Hachar . Upon this condition , that Hachar might go Partners with God , the Arabians were content to worship God , and follow the Law of Mahomet , and from that time forward they made their joynt supplications to God and Hachar ; till Mahomet being grown into greater power , order'd poor Hachars Idol to be taken out of the Temples and to set up in his room in great Arabian Characters , these words , ALLA HOV HAC HER , God and Hacher , which is the cry that the Mahometans have ever since us'd to call the people to Prayers . And this is the Relation of that ancient Author Iacoub Ebni Issaac Elkindi , who liv'd about the year Eight Hundred , about two Hundred years after Mahomet . Wh●ch if it be true , according to the report of this same Author who was a Christian , the Cry of the Muezins is easily expounded . Though it be true on the other side , that the most skilful in the Arabic Language , and most knowing in the Alcoran , assure us , that we must not read the words Alla hou ei Hacher , God and Hacher , but Alla hou Hachar , without the Article el , which is then no more than God is powerfull , and by maintaining that the words were never otherwise written or pronounc'd , avoid the reproach of being the Off-spring of Idolatrous Ancestors , and of being constrain'd to change their first Religion for a new Doctrine . The 〈◊〉 therefore give divine adoration to none but 〈◊〉 , the only Creator of Heaven and Earth , and absolute Lord of the World. And this is the reason they will not suffer in their Mosquees the Image or representation of any living thing either in sculpture or painting ; or if there be any left remaining in Mosaic work , which the ancient Christians made for the Ornaments of their Churches , they are either in places so obscure or so high where they are not taken notice of , or if they are once discover'd 't is because they are unwilling to be at the charge of Scaffolds to pull 'em down or deface ' em . But where such prohibited things are within their reach , they are either disfigur'd and demolish'd , or quite daub'd over with the Masons Trowel . The second Article of the Mahometan Faith comprehends , in epitome , all the vain dotages and extravagances of the Alcoran , in believing Mahomet to be the Messenger of God , and that there was never any truth more certain than what that Impostor has convey'd to 'em , as well by Tradition as Writing . Which Article , being the source and fountain of all the rest , it will be needless to repeat here their trifling Conceits concerning the creation and preservation of the World , or the method which God has taken to sanctifie and save mankind , with many other fantastical and irrational opinions , wherewith their brains and writings are stuff'd . Nor shall I say any thing concerning their leud conjectures of Paradise , celestial in respect of the Beatific Vision of God , of which they assure their believers ; but beastial in regard of those brutish pleasures which they hope there to enjoy with a full swinge , and the Apartments which they allow therein to several Beasts , such as Abrahams Ram , Moses's Heifer , Solomons Ant , the Queen of Sheba's Parrot , Esdras's Ass , Ionas's Whale , the Seven sleepers Dog , and Mahomets Camel. Nor need I speak of the number of their Prophets , of which they have a vast scrowl , though none so famous as Moses , Issa Peccamber or Christ , whose Filiation and Death they deny , and Mahomet their chief ; and therefore passing over these Absurdities of their belief , I come to The Circumcision of the Turks . THe Law of Mahomet being the product of dull earthly humane Invention , that had nothing of sublimity or tendency toward immaterialty in it , but such as thought it sufficient to bound it self within the limits of voluptuous Sense , had need of some remarkable character to distinguish it from other Laws . The Christians , whom it concerns to worship God in spirit and truth , and not with wrie faces and antic Gestures , do not think it necessary to maim any part of the body which Nature has made perfect ; and therefore it was the opinion of many Interpreters , that the proselyte Gentiles were not oblig'd to the paring off so tender a part as the Preputium , since that God not having given any positive command for it , it was left at liberty . But Mahomet who was obstructed by a Phimosis in the satisfaction of his brutal Lusts , being constrain'd to cut off his Foreskin , ordain'd that all his adherents should be circumcis'd , whether it were that he might the better be able to distinguish the Body's of his Musselmen that should be slain in fight , for the propagation of his Law , and to honour them as Martyrs ; or whether to ensnare the Jews , and win them the more easily to embrace his errours through the resemblance of Ceremonies ; or whether it were that that salacious Legislator affecting an outward cleaness to conceal the inward filthiness of his soul , commanded those who had already embrac'd his errours to mangle their Preputiums , lest any defilement sticking to the part , should render their persons less acceptable to Heaven , is uncertain ; though the middlemost reason seems to be the most prevailing in point of Policy , especially among those who look upon Mahomet to have been a Machiavillian . This same act of Circumcision , which the Turks call Shoonet , is only a mark of their obedience to the verbal commands of Mahomet , there being no such injunction in his Alcoran ; only it was a thing by him afterwards appointed , finding that he had many followers , to distinguish his party from the Christians who never Circumcis'd , and the Jews who Circumcis'd after another fashion . Now in regard it is a mark of disobedience to the●r Law to be uncircumcis'd , therefore they never admit any to their publick Prayers that are not distinguish'd so ; that is to say , neither Christians , nor Children of five or six years of age . However I never heard of any Inspectors that ever stood to search at the Entrance of the Temple ; besides that , I knew my self two Christian Travellers that perfectly understood the Arabic and Turkish Languages , who pass'd for as good Musselmen as any were in Turkie , and were well receiv'd where ever they went , as being in the habit of Derviches , and because they knew how to mumble over the Turkish Prayers in the Mosquees , when they could not avoid going thither . But had it been known that those persons were not Circumciz'd , they had not only been refus'd admittance , but burnt alive , or else empal'd upon a stake . Now they never Circumcise any till they come to six or seven years of age : Elder than these are often Circumciz'd , but never younger , sometimes at twelve , fifteen years or more , according to the pleasure of the Parents : Especially if they be poor people , for then not being able to defray the charges of a private , they must stay till the Rich make a publick Circumcision of their own . The day for the Ceremony being appointed , the Master of the house prepares a great Feast , and makes his Son as fine as his quality will reach ; then the boy being mounted upon a Horse or Camel , is led in triumph through the Village , or only that quarter of the City where his Parents live , if it be large . His School-fellows and friends wait upon him on foot , hollowing and hooping for joy that he is going to be admitted into the number of true Musselmen . The Cavalcade being thus finish'd , and the guests return'd back to the house , the Iman makes a pithie Harangue upon the operation that is to ensue ; at the end of which comes a Chirurgion , who having plac'd the lad upon a Sopha or Turkish Table , two Servants holding a linnen napkin before him , draws out the Preputium in length as far as he can pull it , and so keeping it from running back , by clapping a pair of little Pincers at the head of the nut , takes off the surplusage with a sharp Razor , and then holds it up in his fingers to be seen by all the Company , who cry out at the same time , Alla Hecher ia Alla Alla. Which done he dresses the Wound , not a little to the torment of the party Circumciz'd , who by his roaring convinces the standers-by what pain he endures by the wounding so sensible and tender part of his body . But his friends are so far from compassionating his lamentations , that they presently come all to congratulate his admission into the number of the Faithful , and then take their places at the Sopha , or Turkish Table , where they are entertain'd according to the quality of the Parents . And often the liberality of Rich men at their Child's Circumcision amounts to large sums . For besides the Almes which they give to a great number of poor Children which are Circumciz'd , frequently at their charges , at the same time , they also distribute considerable Almes to the poor of the Neighbourhood , to the end they may obtain the blessing of God upon the new Circumciz'd Lad , and all the rest of their Family . The Ceremony of Circumcising Renegado's is almost the same . Only if they be very poor , they have Basons carry'd after 'em to Collect the Almes of the Spectators , who never refuse to give more or less . They also as others do , carry an Arrow upright in their left hands , with the point downwards , to let the people understand that they will rather be stuck with a Thousand Arrows than renounce the Mahometan Faith. However experience tells them , that there are many who having slightly quitted their Religion , because perhaps they never had any , with the same inconstancy abandon what they so solemnly and with so much pain have embrac'd at their expences ; which is the reason that the Turks have a kind of Proverb , Er kim fena Giaur olmichidi eche ei Musulman olur . He that has been an ill Christian will never make an honest Turk . In short , it may be said that all the mischief which is done in Turkie is done by the Renegado's , and not by the Turks , who are naturally civil and tractable enough , especially where they meet with persons conformable to their fashions , and that carefully avoid giving scandal or offence . And indeed it may be said that the number of Renegado's is greater than that of the Turks ; for that the most part of the Basha's and their Retinue are Deserters of the Christian Faith or Judaisme . Now there are three sorts of Renegado's . The first are those whose misfortune it is to be of the number of the Tribute-Children , which the Grand Signor exacts over all his Empire . The second are those who voluntarily change their Religion , out of hopes to raise their Fortunes ; and the last , such as are forc'd thereto , out of fear of such punishments which perhaps they have justly deserv'd , or through the ill usage of a Tyrannical Patron , who make the smallest number ; for the Slaves in Turkie are not so ill us'd , as people imagine ; being as it were many times Vice-Masters of the Family ; and I have known my self some so well us'd by their Aga's , that after they have had their liberty given them , and coming home into Europe , and not finding there what they expected , have return'd back of their own accord to a more pleasing Servitude . It may be said , that those Slaves are happy in the midst of their Misfortune , who being Masters of some piece of Ingenuity meet with a king Aga in a great City . For such are cherish'd by their Masters , who will never deny them going to Church , and to practice their own Religion : Many times also they get the good will of their Mistresses , who out of that compassion which is natural to their Sex , do very much asswage the Rigours of their Captivity , by obliging them with Presents and Gratuities from time to time . But to return to the Turkish Circumcision : I forgot to observe , that as there is no set place for this bloody Ceremony , so is there no time prefix'd , neither is a man ty'd to the choise of his Operator . It may be done in the Bath , or at home , by the Iman , or by the Chirurgeon ; for being only a mark of Mahometanisme , it admits of all sorts of persons to do the work , as also of all places and Ages . Nor do they defer naming the Child till the time of the Ceremony ; and though they have Godfathers provided , yet is it not their business to name the Child , which is done by the Parent , as soon as it is born ; at what time the Father taking the Infant in his Arms , lifts it up toward Heaven , as it were an Offering to God , and then putting some few Corns of Salt in the mouth of it , names the Child in uttering these words , May it please God ( Ibrahim , or what he pleases ) that his holy name may be as savoury to thee , as these Corns of Salt which I now put into thy mouth ; and that he may preserve thee from tasting with delight the things of this world . As for them that dy before Circumcision , they beleive them to be sav'd by that of their Parents . Only they break one of their little fingers , before they bury them , to mark them for uncircumcis'd . Of Pardoning Enemies . THe Pardoning and forgiveness of our enemies is a thing not only of advantage to the Tranquility of Mankind , but is also enjoyn'd by the sacred Command of the Saviour of our Souls . So that it is no wonder if the Turkish Laws , which are only a corrupted Collection of what is partly good , partly bad , partly indifferent , among Christians , Jews and Idolaters , have commanded the Musselmen to pardon also their particular enemies : For they are oblig'd to be otherwise affected toward the Enemies of their Religion and Country . So that there are very seldome any Grudges between Turk and Turk ; or if there happen any quarrel among them , it behoves them not to let Friday ( which is their Sunday ) Sun to set before they are perfectly reconcil'd , or if they cannot do that , they are oblig'd the same morning to begin their devotions with that Prayer wherein they make a protestation to God to pardon their Enemies , or else they believe that all the rest of their Prayers will be in vain . Upon these Grounds , and for these reasons , the Mahometans are severely commanded to do no injury to their Neighbour , either in word or deed : Reproachful Language as well as hard blows are equally forbidden . The wronging his Neighbour in his Goods or Estate , by himself or at the instigation of another , lyes under the same restraint of punishment and forfeiture . The drubbing-stick ( which the Turks believe to have descended from Heaven , because it imprints a deeper awe in their minds , and keeps them within the bounds of their duty beyond all the most sacred Laws they can make ) is the only pen with which they ingross their Sentences against criminal Offenders . 'T is enough for the Sou-Bachi to walk now and then through the streets , to put the people in remembrance , what they must expect from the least grumbling or murmer that shall be heard among them ; no less than a shower of Bastinadoes , not only upon the Authors , but the spectators of the Infant-Tumult ; without any regard to their roaring , and reiterated cryes of Toba Sult●num , which is the lamentable ejaculation of the party under Correction . The dread of this punishment keeps every one upon his Guard. They whose fingers itch to be striking , dare not discharge their choler , for fear of being constrain'd to empty their Purses of some Millions of Aspers , upon complaint made to the Divan ; much less dare they presume to strike , for fear of undergoing a more painful sort of basting . Besides that they who are sensible of anothers malice , and perceive a quarrel in the wind , being oblig'd under the same Penalties to part the fray with all the speed that may be , never stir from the place till all be quiet . And many times they make the two passionate Antagonists friends upon the place , and oblige 'em to renew a friendship which perhaps had never been , had they suffer'd their fury to have taken its full swinge . If the persons that are scolding or fighting will not give over , notwithstanding all means us'd , and the repetition of a wholesome and pertinent sentence out of he Alcoran , they draw 'em away by main force , crying out Charae ulla , by the Law of God , and carry 'em before the Cadi , who fails not to condemn them to the punishment of their obstinacy . And so the Sentence being pass'd , they lay the Criminal upon his back , and after they have giv'n him at least Two Hundred drubs upon the soles of his feet which are ty'd to a Falaque , they force him to pay Two or Three Thousand Aspers besides for his contempt . The Rigour of these Laws does not only restrain the Turks from doing injury one to another , but it has the same effect upon those that swear and profane the holy name of God , which in other places ( where the Laws pretend to a more divine Original ) goes unpunish'd . Which is the reason that the greatest Oath which you shall hear among the Turks , when they would seriously affirm a truth , is valla hebilla , by the God whom I adore . Nay you shall find that the Tnrks who live at a great distance from Constantinople , and are consequently more frequently in the Christians Company , make use of the Christian and Greek Oaths , not having any so proper in their own Language , which yet they make use of rather by way of flattery and caress . However we must confess they do not always observe this moderation , especially among the vulgar sort , or when they discourse with people of a different Religion ; for then instead of those indearing appellations of janum , iki gusum , cardache , my heart , my two eyes , my Brother , and the like , they will give ye the outragious Complements of Giaur , Kupec , dinsis , or Infidel , Dog , and faithless . But such as are better Educated than the common sort are much more civil and courteous , and as little as they care for strangers , they are as kind and obliging to such , as if they were natives of their own Religion , especially if they can discourse with them in the Turkish Language . I was one day at Boursa with Monsieur Vaillant , Mr. Bellocier de S. Sauveur , and two other French Travellers , where passing by a certain place , a slave belonging to a Turkie Merchant having spy'd us , and perceiving us to be strangers , and more than that French-men as well as himself , very civilly accosted us , and invited us to his Masters House . He told us , that his Master having a great affection for him , was glad to see any person at his house , that he affirm'd to be his Country-man ; for proof of which he would treat us after the Turkish mode , to shew us that a slave in Turkie , who knows how to gain his Patrons affection , is not always the most miserable person in the world . To this purpose , he gave his Master notice of our coming , giving him withall to understand that we were his own Country-men , and therefore besought him that he might have the credit of entertaining us . The Merchant consented , bid him invite us the next day , and provide what he thought fit . In short , the slave omitted nothing which he could procure to be dress'd after the French fashion , and the Master spar'd not for his Turkish Ragou's so that we had an entertainment which sufficiently testify'd our welcome , and that there are persons in all places and of all Religions , in the most barbarous of Nations , that out of their innate honesty and goodness can distinguish between rudeness and civility . Nor can I pass by the kind entertainment which this honest Merchant gave us , without giving him this due commendation ; that besides the moral virtues which he practis'd , he wholly resign'd himself up to the will of God : Which is more usual with the Turks than with any other Nation , in regard of their opinion touching predestination . Of which to give us some proof , he gave us a short story of his life . Wherein after he had given us a brief accompt of some misfortunes that had befall'n him upon the accompt of Trade , and the breaking of some of his Debtors , sickness and death of his Cattel and Servants , and the like , perceiving that we compassionated his Misfortunes , he concluded with this expression , Alla kerim , said he , beulai alla ister beulai olsun . God is all powerful ; and it was his will it should be so . Nor was this the only civil person that I have met withall among the Mahometans . I have been often in their Caravans , presented with Coffee , Fruits and Sherbet , Among other times Travelling in the Caravan between Aleppo and Dierbeker , the capital City of Mesopotamia , in regard I was the only European among them , I was oblig'd to strike into Company with five or six Turkish Merchants , persons of a good jolly humour , in regard they had a Tent to pitch at resting times , which I being alone had not the convenience to carry . Now in regard the Passengers are oblig'd to keep sentinell every night by turns , for fear of being surpriz'd by the Arabian Robbers , or Karakersi's , when it came to our turn we made use of the Moon to light us to our divertisements , playing at Quoits all our time round about the Caravan . The next company that reliev'd us , finding that we were then enow to make up a Company for a dance or two , undertook to sing us a Song , which put us all into motion . In this manner the frolick went round ; every one sung his Song , some in Turkish , some in Arabic , which when they had all done , they desir'd me to sing one in French ; which when I had concluded they all fell a laughing one at another , because they could not repeat my Song as I had theirs , and so were forc'd to give over the Dance , and to listen to another that play'd upon his Taboura , and sang a new Aire , which pleas'd 'em much better than my seeming Gibbrish . And thus we continu'd all the Journey , harmlessly , lovingly , and freely merry . Of the Notice of Prayer-Time . THe whole Mahometan Religion being chiefly grounded upon frequent Prayer , 't is no wonder the Turks are so diligent in that sort of devotion . They believe that the Christians and Jews not having obey'd the precept of God , who enjoyn'd them the duty of frequent Prayer ; he commanded Mahomet to prescribe to the Musselmen a task of no less than Fifty Prayers and Vows a day . But Mahomet foreseeing that the task would prove too hard , so far prevail'd with God Almighty , as to be contented with a tenth part of the homage ; in so much that the frightful number of Fifty was reduc'd to Five . Now in regard that Bells and Clocks were forbidden , there was a necessity to appoint certain persons , who by the strength of their Voices should give the people notice of the Prayer time . These Proclaimers are call'd Muezins from two Arabic words Muaz and zin or a sound in the ear . These Muezins therefore are bound to get up to the tops of the Towers of the Mosquees five times a day every day , and there stopping their eares , to Proclaim as loud as they can tare their Throats Alla * Hecber . This they do at break of day , at Noon , at Three in the Afternoon , at Sun-Set , and One of the Clock at night . Of these set-times for Prayer , the first is call'd Salem , or Sabah namasi ; the second Euylai namasi ; the third Kindi namasi , the fourth Accham namaci ; and the last Yatisi namasi , or BedtimePrayer . The Turks seldom fail at all these times , but never at the first and two last . For should they miss these three of only five that are enjoyn'd them , it would cost them a severe and exemplarie punishment . Nor is there any excuse to be made , for if they are not in a condition to go to the Mosquee , they are bound to pray in the place where they are ; nay even to light from their Horses , if they chance to be Travelling upon the Road at that time . If they are in a Caravan the Master is bound to make a stand , and to give notice himself of the time as soon as it comes , turning his Caravan to the point of Koblè or toward Mecca . Besides these five prefix'd times of Prayer , of which the Muezins give notice upon the Steeple tops , there are also two others , Friday or Sunday Prayers , and Ramazan or Lent Prayers . The first of these appointments is call'd Salah , at Nine of the Clock in the Morning every Friday , or giuma guni ; the second is call'd Taravié Namasi beginning at Midnight all the time of Ramazan Month , and upon the full of the Moon of the two Months preceding , that is to say , upon the Fifteenth of Regeb , and the Fifteenth of Chaban : However the Prayers which are said all these times , never last above half an hour , and sometimes they chop'em up in less than a quarter . So soon as Friday's Salah is done , the Tradesmen and Shopkeepers may all attend their employments and go to work if they please ; for all Prayer and no work would turn but to very little profit . The words which the Muezins baul out at Constantinople are not many ; no more than Alla Hecber , but they repeat these words several times and at several quarters of the Galleries which surround the Towers , concluding at last with these words , Ahia Elsela , Ahiah Elsela , as much as to say , Come away to Prayers , I have given ye notice sufficient . Upon great Festivals and during Bairam , you shall have a whole consort of these Cryers all in one Gallery baulling their Alla Hecbers in different tones , like so many Cats upon the Tiles ; which to the Turks , that know no better , sounds more pleasantly than the Scotch Bagg-pipes to a Foot Company . While I was at Constantinople one day in Bairam , at what time a whole Kennel of these Muezins were yelling at the top of a large Tower , a young Christian Greek Lad passing by the Mosquee , and not liking their Musick , began to mock them with an imitation of his own ; which the Mahometans that were going to the Mosquee over-hearing , they laid hold of the Child , and endeavour'd to perswade him to turn Turk ; using at first fair words and large promises , which not prevailing , they put the poor Child in Prison ; and yet all their torment could not move the resolute Lad , who out of a generosity truly celestial , chose rather to suffer the Bastinado , and the loss of his life , which the merciless Turks took from him by cutting off his head , than to renounce the Christian Faith , only breathing out with his last Breath these words , which the Greeks frequently make use of in their Prayers , Christ have mercy upon us . A rare example of cruel superstition in the Turks and of Christian constancy in the Child . Now though it is impossible their Cryers should make such a noise with their throats as the Bells with their Clappers , yet in regard there are no Coaches at Constaninople , and few of those Trades that deafen the eares , their Voices being clear and strong may be heard a great way , even to the mo●t remote Quarters of the City , and into the Fields adjoyning , where I have heard them my self at a good considerable distance . Besides there is such a vast number of these Muezins that they never want a full cry to make a noise , it being lookt upon as an act that merits pardon of their sins , to proclaim the Hour of Prayer to the Good Musselmen . Of the Purification of the Turks . THe last preparation of the Turks for Prayer is that of washing . Which Ablutions are of five sorts , and call'd by five several names . The first , which is the most general , as being made use of as well by the Christians as Turks , is in the ordinary Bath , which they call Amam . The second is what necessity requires , and is call'd Taharet ; which signifies cleaness . The third is to cleanse themselves from any defilement which they may have fallen into by day or night , which they call Gousla , or Purification . The fourth is to wash away all the contaminations contracted in the day time through the Organs of the five senses . For which they are forc'd to borrow a name from the Persians , who call it Abdest , which signifies ablution . And the last is the Bath provided for dead Body's which they call Eulu-i akmakh , or the washing of the Dead . Of their Baths . Over all the world there is no Nation that affects cleanliness so much as the Mahomet●ns , as well Persians as Ottomans . So that I may say the essential part of their Religion consists in these outward Ceremonies . For which reason they have been forc'd to Build a great number of Bathing houses , that they may have the liberty to wash their body 's all over . Hence it comes to pass , that there are a great number of these houses all over Turkie , and some not inferiour to the ancient Thermae of the Roman Emperours . You need no more than take a view of those in the City of Boursa , which are all of hot water , contain'd in a large receptacle , encompass'd with seats . They are cover'd with two very fair Domo's , under which are two large Chambers , where the Air and the Water afford a different heat : With another large Room somewhat cooler ; where you undress before you go into the Bath . So that every one of these Buildings require at least three large Rooms . The first where you enter and undress , where the Air is Temperate , yet not so cool as in the street . The second warmer than the first ; and the third so hot , that it sets you presently in a sweat . All sorts of persons are admitted into these Baths , as well Christians and Jews as Turks , in regard they are Built for the publick good and for the common health of all people . I am perswaded that these Baths are in good part the Cause that the Ottomans are not so subject to Diseases as the Europeans , and that they would be more healthy than they are , but that they frequent them too much . For these Baths , as all sorts of Physick , are only to be made use of in case of necessity , otherwise they become more prejudicial than advantageous to the health . I was acquainted in Persia with a Capuchin Fryer , who notwithstanding that he was above Fourscore years of Age , was nevertheless very vigorous and healthy , because he never was wont to drink Wine , but when he found himself not very well . For when he perceiv'd himself indispos'd , all the Physic he took was only a large glass of generous Wine , which restor'd him to his former temperament . The same may be said of the Eastern Baths , there could be nothing more wholesome , were they moderately made use of , that is to say , not above once a month ; but in regard the Turks Bath themselves almost every day , their brains are thereby so over moisten'd , that they are generally troubled with a continual Rheume in their eyes . But such is their superstition , that they choose rather to prejudice their health , than to give any Example of disobedience to their Law. It would require a good revenue , to use the Baths so frequently as they do , were it as dear Bathing in Turkie as in France , and they would have as much reason to complain as Martial of the exaction of the Age ; Balnea post decimam lasso centumque petuntur Quadrantes . — Then weary to the Baths he hasts , and payes A hundred Quadrants for his future ease . But in regard there is set no price , only every man gives , as at a Barbers shop , what he thinks fitting himself , the pleasure becomes cheap without exaction , and he 's a good customer of a Turk that gives the value of Two Sous a time ; for the Franks and Europeans are more generous . All sorts and Sexes pay , Masters , Mistresses , and slaves ; only little Children till they come to be seven years of age are exempted . The time appointed for the Men , is from break of day till Noon . After which time there is no occasion for that admonition of Hesiod , Neque in muliebri balneo corpus abluito vir . Nor is 't for Men in those same Baths wherein The Women Bath , to wash their courser skin . For the Women are allowed to take their turns , though more out of wantonness than necessity ; it being the chief place where the Gossips meet and spend the Afternoon in tatling and junketting , according to that of Ovid , Condunt furtivos balnea multa jocos . Full many a want on prank the Baths conceal . All the while , the Women are every one attended with an old she slave , that looks to her Mistresse's Cloaths in the outward Room . As it was the custome in Martials time , Supra togalam lusca sederet anus . When Blear-ey'd Female slave quite out of date , Over her Mistress Mantle brooding fate . While these are upon the Guard , their Mistresses are busied in the Bath with their Companions in colouring their Locks , the nails of their toes and fingers , with the powder of an herb which the Arabians call Elbanna , the Turks Alkana , which makes them look red , and gumming and dying the hair of their eylids , to render themselves the more amiable to their Spouses , at their return home , which is about Eight of the Clock at night , at what time the Bagno is shut up till Four the next morning . Nor is this a custome of the Turkish Women only , it being also observ'd of old by the Roman Ladies , according to that of Iuvenal . Illa supercilium madida fuligine tactum Obliqua producit acu , pingitque trementes , Attollens oculos . — Then on her brows the fucus rudely lay'd , With needles point is far more neatly spread : Which makes her trembling eylids still to fear The frequent touches of each single hair . But as to the washing and scrubbing of men , the Turks have a particular dexerity . For after the man has undress'd himself in the first Hall , he tyes about him a large Napkin , which they call Fota or Pestemal ; and in that equipage he passes through the second Room into the third , where he is to sweat . To which purpose he layes himself flat upon his belly in the middle of the Room , upon a place pav'd with Marble , and somewhat rais'd , which is the hottest part of all the Bath ; where after he has sufficiently sweat , he comes to one of the Attendants in the stove , who takes him by his Arms , and having pull'd and stretch'd them out with all his force , and turn'd them backward and forward , and then also observ'd the same method of stretching and pulling the leggs , with his hands and his feet , smooths over his backs and thighs with a wonderful agility ; which done he presently carry's the party thus prepar'd to another part of the Room , where are several Cocks of hot water ; there he washes him all over , and rubs him with a Camlet , Grogram , or some such kind of course rubber , after which the Tender sopes him and rubs him again . These Grogram rubbers are come in place of the ancient Strigiles or Scrapers : Not so much for the form or matter , for these rubbers are square , and serve only to cleanse away the filth that lyes in the skin , but the Strigiles were to scrape the skin : And certainly the former are much more commodious , and manageable , than those Instruments of Metal which had a handle and were made almost like a pruning hook . The Turks have the same liberty as to their Rubbers , which the Romans had in reference to their scrapers : For that every one may have his rubber to himself , and carry it with him to the Bath for his own particular use , and thus Crispin in Perseus sends for his own Scrapers ; I , puer , & strigiles Crispini ad balnea defer . Go Boy , fetch Crispins scrapers to the Bath . But in regard the Turks are nothing nice in eating or drinking after one another in the same dish or cup , they are as little scrupulous in suffering themselves to be rubb'd with another man's or a common rubber , though the person were never so nasty , provided they see themselves that he was well washed . The frequent injunctions which the Law of Mahomet has impos'd upon his followers to Bath often , has occasion'd several persons to erect Baths in their own houses , where they may be tended by their own slaves , or wash themselves without being oblig'd to go to the public stoves ; and these Buildings serve for a good excuse to the men , to deny their Wives the liberty of gadding abroad under pretence of going to the Baths . They are so well contriv'd , that without going into the Kitching , or being troubl'd with the steams of the pot , one fire serves at once both to heat the Amamgick or stove , and dress dinner . Now in regard these sort of Buildings are of great use in houses of any value , especially in the Country , I do shortly intend to publish to the world a Draught of the outside and inside of one of them , to the end they that are so minded , may understand how to erect one in their own houses for the use of themselves and their friends . Of the Tahara or cleanliness of the Turks . THe Mahometans affect cleanliness after such an extraordirary manner , that fearing to be defil'd by any sort of excrement which Nature expells , they are not content to wash the universal Emunctory of the skin , but also to cleanse all the issues of Nature , and that as often as they discharge the last concoction of their nourishment . So that the Bason ▪ or Embrik is never out of their hands to clean all parts of their Body from whence any excrement proceeds , which makes it a very pleasant sight to see the postures of a Turk that is troubled with a looseness , or such a one as cannot hold his water , he needs no other business to do ; he has employment enough for his hands , and can never complain that he knows not how to spend his time . They know not the meaning of a Spunge-Carrier , and it would be a crime unpardonable to make use of Paper ; lest being written it should have any Letters in it that might compose the name of God : or being clean , might be fit to have the name of God written upon it . And for this reason it is , that Paper is in such high esteem among the Mahometans . They never make use of it for trifling occasions , nor can they endure to see it trod upon . If they find any bit of Paper in the street , they take it up , kiss it , fold it up decently , and very devoutly put it in some hole in the wall . This high value for paper certainly proceeds from the great veneration they have for the Alcoran , which they never carry below their Girdles ; or else from their great love of Learned men , which are very much esteem'd among them . This same cleanliness , so religiously observ'd , has employ'd the Mahometan Architecture in all Quarters of the City , especially near the Mosquees , to build a great number of necessary houses , which in their Language they call Adepkana , or the house of shame , whence that reproach so usual among them , that when they would denote a person without shame , they call him Adepsis . These public Conveniencies are very beneficial ; for besides the great care which they take to keep them neat and sweet , which is the business of the Maidagi , or public Scavenger , who cleanses them every Thursday in the week , there is a Fountain always running in every one of the Partitions , or else a Cock to turn , and ready to supply every one's necessity . I must confess , we have nothing so commodious , nor any thing of this conveniency in any part of Europe ; and yet at the same time nothing so necessary , especially in great Cities , were it but only for decency , which is a principal Ornament . You shall never see in Travelling over all the East , what is dayly observ'd and suffer'd in our Cities , the Walls of our Churches stain'd with Urine , and bedeck'd at the bottom with the excrements of those who it behov'd to have approach'd those places with more respect . Nor is any body there oblig'd to prejudice his health , by retaining his natural evacuations for want of a conveniency . I never heard so many invectives against the Government of the Europeans upon this accompt , as was utter'd by a Turk at Constantinople , who had travail'd to Marseilles , and thence to Paris . He was wont accor●ing to the custome of his Country to eat great plenty of Fruits , Salads , and among the rest of Cucumbers half ripe , together with their stalks , a dyet very proper to break a French horses belly , yet very much us'd among the Eastern people , whose digestion tames it well enough . This Turk lodg'd , as he told me , in the quarter of St. Eustachius , during the heat of the Summer , which he found more fierce than in his own Country ( Damasco in Syria , though it lye fifteen degrees more to the South ) and therefore to cool himself , he resolv'd to eat a great dish of Milk and Cucumbers , and so to walk to the Fauxburgh St. Marcel , where he had some business . Returning back , the motion of his body , the coldness of the Cucumbers , and the heat of the sea●on , falling at variance , and not being able to compose the quarell , just as he came to Place Maubert ; the Cucumbers were so civil as to de●ire to part Company , and knockt at the Turks back-door to let 'em forth , where they might find a more quiet Lodging , upon which the Turk entreating them to stay till he got to his Lodging , doubl'd his pace . Nevertheless the Cucumbers , not brooking delays , and urging hard for liberty , he search'd about for one of those Adepkana's , so well wash'd and so convenient as in his own Country . But not being able to discover any thing but shops open , and streets throng'd with people , wherein it was not so proper to discharge a burthen of that importance as his was , you may believe him to have been perhaps one of the most disconsolate men in Paris , not knowing what course to take in such a disorder of his body . This bitter affiction caus'd him with sighs to wish himself in the Geroon of Damasco , which is a great place wall'd in , containing near Forty of these necessary houses . He curs'd all the streets of Paris , and would have given the whole City , as rich and populous as it is , for his own dispeopled lowsie Antiochia . He long'd for one of the Turkish Mosquees , rather out of respect to their Adepkana's , than out of any devotion at that time . At last , as he told me , in the height of his extremity he thus lamented his misfortune . Were I now ( said he to himself ) at Grand Cairo , my pains would find redress , by only bowing the head and crying , according to custome , to the Passengers , Kouf nadarak ja sidi , or , Pray ( Sir ) look another way . But here in Paris , where there are more people than stones in the street , what shall a man do in my forlorn condition ? But all these sad complaints little avail'd the distressed Syrian . For before he could get over Pont au change , the Cucumbers grew so importunately outragious , that they forc'd open his back doors , and breaking Prison vi & armis , gave the disconsolate Syrian to understand , that Milk and Cucumbers was not so sweet as Milk and Honey . What would he now have given for the hot and wholesome Baths in the Island of Milo , where he might have stript himself privately , and spent his time like one of the Muses in Helicon , till his Cloaths might have been wash'd , or new habit fetch'd ? But there was no help ; therefore he must endure the smell , as he had made several others as he pass'd along . I will not here repeat all the Curses , with which he laded also the City of Marseilles , where a man in a morning , if he take not a great care to carry his Ears with him when he goes abroad , may happen to be well moistn'd with a sort of very thick and very ill smelling showers . But among all his reproaches , besides that of Bokier , I cannot omit this one , very proper to the Subject of which I have been discoursing , concerning the Taharat or cleanliness of the Turks , which was , that all the Giaurs , or Infidels , ( for so the Turks call the Christians ) were Taharatisis , a sort of unclean and nasty people . Of the Turks Gouslu or Purification . Nor is it enough for the Turks to wash themselves all over in their Baths , after Abdest ( of which I shall discourse in the next place ) they are obliged to rinse their bodyes , in some particular Bath , after any extraordinary evacuation in the night , whether they have lain alone , or with company . This purification is perform'd in a great square Tub or Vessel , fill'd every morning , and not empty'd till night . This is that Vessel which the Ancients call'd Labrum or Oceanum , and the Turks Aouz Gousli . Now in regard they never make use of this Purification , till they have been in the Bath , and us'd the Abdest , they soon make an end of this Ceremony ; for they do no more than plung● themselves three or four times in the water , and so give way to another , till they have all done that needed such Purification . Now though the number of these Rinsers be very great , considering the Marry'd men are ty'd to this Purification as well as the Batchelours , nevertheless they never change the water , till every one has rins'd himself , and in the action said the usual Prayer , La illa illalla , Allam dulilla , Alla hecher , or some other to the same purpose . Of their Abdest or Ablution . THe fourth and last preparation for Prayers is the Abdest : And this may be done with herbs or stones , where there is no conveniency of water . They believe that God ( who regards the inside , and not the outside of men ) would not hear their supplications , if they had not appeas'd him before-hand , at least to the utmost of their power , by this Abdest : And also that their Prayers put up in that state of impurity would rather draw down the wrath of Heaven upon them , than procure the blessings of God , without the assistance of Abdest . For which reason they never erect any Mosquee without the convenience of Fountains , as I have shew'd already . It will be needless therefore to relate in what manner this Abdest is perform'd . All people know well , that they wash the best part of the head and neck , the arms to the Elbows , their feet , the end of the Priapus , and the posteriour Orifice . However I must needs , tell ye , that these severe injunctions of washing so often , are very troublesome to those that live in dry places far remote from water , and to those that live in the Northern cold Climates ; which is the reason that several Turks could wish with all their hearts that they might be permitted to change their Religion , which tyes them to so many inconvenient slabberings . To this purpose I will relate what I heard said by one of those Turks , who they call Raphasis-ler , these are a sort of Mahometan Hereticks , very numerous in Syria , and several parts of lesser Asia . This person , in obedience to some Religious Vow , had oblig'd himself to undertake a journey to Mecca , to which the honest Musselmen are bound , at least once in their lives . He being in the same opinion with the rest of the Caravan , that they should meet with water at such a certain Well or Cistern upon the Road , ( which the heat of the Sun had dry'd up , contrary to their hopes , ) had made use of the best part of his provision of water as the rest had done , upon this Ceremony of Abdest , which the devotion of that Pilgrimage frequently requires . By which means finding themselves in the midst of the Sands , Deserts , and Heats of Arabia , they knew not what course to take in that extremity of drowth which tormented them to impatience . Nor was he of the number of those who had over much Gold , to purchase of those who had been more provident : And indeed they had too much need themselves , for him to hope , they would be perswaded to give gratis to others . So that the poor Raphasis found himself reduc'd to endure a scorching drowth , and ready to be buried alive in the stifling Clouds of Sand , which the Wind raises in that miserable Road. The remembrance of this extremity , from which nothing but the natural strength of his Body had preserv'd him , inspir'd him with more execrations of Mahomet and his accursed errours , than the most zealous of the Eastern Christians could have invented for him . He said , He did not wish the Devil had taken him , for he did not believe him so unjust as to let that Impostor scape his fury , who being the sole cause of the death of so many Millions of people as perish'd in going to Mecca , justly deserv'd to suffer as many deaths in Hell , as he had caus'd poor creatures to suffer torments in his infamous cruel Pilgrimage ; but he wish'd with all his heart , that Heaven had Thunder struck from above , and that Hell had then swallow'd in flames , the first contrivers of that accursed Alcoran , and the unfortunate Propagators of the Law of Mahomet ; or that it had been his fortune to have been a Christian like us . I was strangely surpriz'd to hear a Turk Blaspheme his own Religion in that manner before two Christians ; and therefore fearing he had some treacherous design upon me , could he have but heard me speak any words upon which he might lay hold , I ask'd my Companion , who that Raphasis was ? and wherefore he talk'd after that fashion ? He told me , the reason was , because those Raphases being neither Christians nor Turks , had not the liberty to declare themselves for the one nor the other . That outwardly they conform'd to all the exercises of the Mahometan Religion , but that in their hearts they believ'd not one tittle of it , and that moreover they were all at this lock , that if any among them renounc'd his Raphaisme to become a sincere Mahometan , they receiv'd his abjuration , but pursu'd him afterwards to death , with no less malice , than if he had turn'd Christian. The fifth sort of Turkish washing is that which they call Eulu-iak maghi , or the washing of the dead , of which I shall say nothing till I have done with their Ceremonies before Prayer , this not being in practice till after the decease of the party . Now therefore after a true Musselman has perform'd all his purifications , it behoves him to go to Church with his eyes fix'd upon the ground , and to bear in mind the profound reverence which he ought to pay to that place , and to make his entry bare foot , or only cover'd with his Trouses . Which necessity of pulling off their shoes so often , has caus'd the Eastern people to invent a sort of shoes or slippers which they call Papouches , with one single sole , and the upper leather of Goats skin tann'd , and dy'd yellow , red , violet , or black . The Turks and Franks usually wear them yellow , the Armenians red , the Jews black , and the Greeks violet . But none of these Nations are permitted to wear them green in any part of the Turkish Dominion , which they may do in the Persian Territories . It would be a great crime for a Christian to wear upon his feet a colour which the Mahometans look upon as sacred , in regard it was the colour which their Prophet so much affected , and which the Turks therefore never put , but with great respect upon their heads , as serving to distinguish their Emirs , who are allow'd to wear a green Bonnet , as a mark of their being ally'd to their great Prophet and Legislator . Which puts me in mind of the witty answer that the great Sha Abbas gave to the Grand Signors Embassadour . This Elchi , or Embassador , from the Ottoman Port , being very much troubled to see the Christians as well as Turks , over all Persia , wearing green shoes and Trouses , in the name of his Master , requir'd Sha Abbas to forbid his Subjects any longer to prophane a colour , which all true Mahometans ought to have a greater veneration for ; that he very well understood , that it being the Prophets peculiar colour , it did not behove the happy observers of his Law , to cover any other part of the body with it than the head , or at least the more decent parts of the body above the wast , and that it became him not with such an insupportable contempt to trample under foot a colour so sacred , as his Subjects not only did , but also the Giaurs , the Chifoutlers , or Jews , and all other Mordars , or impure Nations , over all his Dominions , unpunish'd . Sha Abbas , who was the most accomplish'd Prince in all the East , whose noble qualities gain'd him the affection of all the world , perceiv'd hereby the injustice of the Ottomans , which was to hinder all men , if it were in their power , to make use of that colour , of which Nature it self had made them a Precedent , and set them so fair an example to wear at their discretion , as being the universal Carpet which she has spread upon the surface of the Earth for man to tread upon , which made him resolve to make a Jest of the Ridiculous proposal of the Embassador . At first therefore he made a shew of consenting to the Grand Signor's desire , and promis'd the Embassadour That he would take order that his Subjects should no longer prophane the Prophets colour , hoping that the Grand Signor would issue forth the fame orders over all his Dominions , to restrain within his own Territories the abuse of that sacred colour , for which he seem'd so zealous . For , ( said the Prince to the Embassador ) your Master beholds every day a greater prophanation of that colour , and yet suffers it to go unpunish'd . My Subjects only wear the colour dead upon their shoes and trouses , but all the Beasts in Turkie dung without any penalty upon the Grass , which is the living colour that Mahomet lov'd . Therefore if he will prohibit all the Beasts in Turkie from defiling the green Grass with their excrements , which they do continually , then I will take care my Subjects shall wear green shoes no longer . The Elchi finding by the answer of Sha Abbas , that he did but laugh at the folly of his Proposition , with-drew forthwith out of the Talare , or Room of State where the Persian Kings give publick audience to Embassadors , to admire his own yellow Papouches , which he had left at the door , according to the custome , when the Turks enter into any Mosquee or Room of Grandeur which deserves their veneration ; and left the Persians to their own liberty . Of the Turks behaviour during Prayer time . IT were to be wish'd , that all Christians who are wanting in their duty at Church , and little heed the Prayers they make , might sometimes observe after what manner the Turks acquit themselves , of that strict obligation which tyes all men to put up their supplications to Heaven with all humility and attention . Certainly they might learn from them , not to enter the Church of God so irreverently , with a soul defil'd with the contaminations of sin , when they observe how careful the Turks are to wash away what ever defilement their bodies or habits may have contracted : They might learn to leave at the Church doors all their worldly entreagues , and not to make the places appointed for Prayer , their rendevouses for discourse , and particular designes , when they observe the Turks leaving their shoes at the Mosquee door , and keeping silence with so much awe and modesty during Prayer time , that can never be too much commended . In consideration of which Prayers , perform'd and said with so much modesty , the Ottomans believe that God has made them Ma●ters of the most fertile parts of the world : But that we may not only believe what comes from the Mouth of a Mahometan , I will relate what a Greek Christian one day told me , in discourse about the Prophanation of the Church . He was born at Constantinople , and about Fourscore years of age , whose Father and Grand father had also counted an Hundred successively . He liv'd near Sancta Sophia , and having observ'd me , several times , going into the Portico of that Mosquee , the fear which he had lest my frequent visits of the Turkish Temple , might produce in me , a desire to change my Religion , or endanger me to be constrain'd so to do , oblig'd him out of his charitable zeal to accost me , and to ask me , if it might not seem an impertinent question , what it was that mov'd me to go so frequently to Sancta Sophia ? I answer'd him , that it was the beauty of the Mosquee that drew me thither , and that I could not forbear viewing so ancient a Temple , which had so long entertain'd the sacred Mysteries of Christianity . The good old man , trembling , took me by the hand , and with tears in his eyes , Ah Son ( said he ) had our Forefathers never enter'd into Sancta Sophia , but with that reverence which now the Turks observe , we had still been Masters both of Church and City . But , continu'd he , God who is always jealous of the honour of his own house , has punish'd more grievously this sin of the Greeks , than all the other Offences which ever they committed . After which he told me what his Grand-father had long before observ'd upon this subject , and confirm'd to me , that the vain-glory of the Greeks was arriv'd at such a height in the Reigns of the last Christian Emperours , that persons of Quality , and such as had any Estates , were wont to ride into the Church on Horseback , or else were carry'd into it in Litters , where their Horses and Mules frequently dung'd . He added also , that Mahomet the II. who took Constantinople , had not presum'd to have enter'd the Temple in that manner , but that he was over perswaded , that if the Greeks made no scruple of riding into the Church , he might do it as well as they , and not alight till he came to the Altar , which he first made use of in stead of a Horse-block , and then fell to Prayers upon it . But the Mahometans behave themselves after another manner . They never come to Prayers , but in a posture so modest and so humble , that it is impossible to imagine a submission more profound . For after they have perform'd all their ceremony's of washing , and put off their shoes at the door of the Mosquee , they endeavour to place themselves as near the Iman , as they can ; yet not so as to crowd or thrust those that stand before them ; there they kneel and sit upon their heels , which is the posture that the Ottomans believe to be the most humble , expecting in that form the beginning of Prayers , no man daring all the while so much as to Whisper to his next neighbour . Prayer time being come , the Iman rises , and standing upright , carries his two hands open to his head , and stopping his Ears with his Thumbs , casts his eyes up to Heaven , and sings very loud and very distinctly the Prayer , while the people follow him with a low voice and imitate all his Postures . I shall not hear repeat the words of the Prayer , as well for that there are few who understand them , as that I may not give the Eastern Christians occasion to blame me as they have done some other Travellers , who have written them down in their Relations , accusing them as if they had an intention to teach the Christians to pray to God after the Turkish manner , beside the danger that may happen , lest any one finding the Namas or Turkish Prayers in our Relations , and getting them by heart , should afterwards be heard to repeat them ( never thinking of the danger of so doing ) in any part of the Turkish Dominions , in Mahometan company ; which would be a crime not to be forgiven , but by the change of his Religion . It shall therefore suffice to tell the signification of the Arabic words which the Turks pronounce in their Prayer , which are taken out of the first Chapter of the Alcoran , having first represented the posture mark'd with the figure I. which is the posture the Turks observe at the beginning of their Namas . The Turks lifting up their eyes and hands to Heaven at the first beginning of their Divine Worship , cry twice , Milla hirrakhman irrahimi , that is to say , in the name of God , gracious and merciful , then letting fall their hands below the Girdle , as in the second posture mark'd 2 , they say ( with their eyes fix'd upon the earth ) the Prayer which they call the Fatiche or Fatha , which signifies the preface , as being taken out of the Exordium of the Alcoran , in these words following . Praise be given to God , who is the Lord of worlds , all love and mercy . O great King of the day of judgment , we adore thee , we trust in thee , preserve us , ( seeing we invoke thy name ) in the right way of those whom thou hast elected , and whom thou cherishest with thy favours , and not in the way of those against whom thy wrath is kindled , nor of Infidels and wanderers from thy truth . Amen . This Prayer being said , they bow their bodies , clapping their hands upon their knces , as in the posture mark'd with the direction 3. saying Alla heu Hecber , and the rest as follows . God is great ; O my God let Glory be given to thee , and together with thy praise may thy name be blessed , and thy Grandeur be advanc'd . For there is no other God but thee . After this , accompanying the Iman , or the person that reads prayers , they cry out with a loud Voice Alla Hecber , O great God. And prostrating themselves upon the earth , they kiss it twice ; as in the Posture mark'd 4. crying out as many times , Alla Herber , O great God. These bowings of the body they call Rekiets , differing in number according to the hours of Prayer-time . In the Morning six times ; at Noon eight ; six at Kimdi ; eight at evening Prayer ; and as many at midnight ; when the solemnities of Regeb , Chaban , or Ramazan , oblige them to rise at midnight to betake themselves to the Mosquee . When the first of these Bowings is over , they rise again and repeat the Fatha preceding , which they say standing upright , without putting their thumbs in their eares . Afterwards they always continue the same Prayer , till they have repeated as many Genuflexions , as the hour of the day requires . Which done , they return to their first posture of sitting upon their knees , looking in their hands open'd , as if they were reading their own fortunes , as in the postures mark'd 5 , 6. and recite a certain number of benedictions and praises to God , which they count upon the joynts of their fingers . Which Benedictions and Praises are certain Thanksgivings to God for having heard their Prayers , sometimes they address themselves to Mahomet , crying out often Resul Alla , which signifies the Messenger of God. But usually they make their Applications to God alone ; saying , Subhan alla , God be prais'd . Allem dullila , or praise to God. La illa ill alla . There is no other God but God. Having thus finish'd all their Rekiets , and done kissing the Ground , at the conclusion they take themselves by the beard , and turning to the right and left hand salute the two Angels whom they beleive to be attending always upon them , the one to incite them to virtue , the other to accuse them for the evil they commit . These Angels they reckon to be one good the other bad : The one white , the other black : The dull and material apprehensions of the Turks rather distinguishing those incorporeal substances by their colour , than by their spirituality . I shall not here insist upon the dreams and fables which they report concerning these two Angels , or of the Visions of Gabriel , who as they say always appear'd to their Cheiks and Derviches for the revelation of some new mystery . It is enough to shew you in the postures , mark'd 7 8. the gestures which the Mahometans observe when they salute those two Angels . When the Musselmen have ended their Prayers , which never last longer than half an hour , certain chanters meet together in the small Balcones , mark'd in the description of Sancta Sophia with the letter D. and sing in counterpoint notes certain Songs which are not unpleasing ; after which , on Mondays , Wednesdays and Fridays , a Preacher mounts the Pulpit , and expounds to the Auditors , some point of the Alcoran after his own manner . sometimes likewife they Preach in the Market places ; and they always conclude their devotions with certain Prayers for the prosperity of the sultan , and his Arms against his enemies , to which the people being present , make no other answer than Amen . What the Turks do after Prayers . THe worship of God being the chiefest of all humane Actions , of which Prayer is the principal part , it may be hence concluded , that all the other affairs of the Turks , as well as of all other people , are to be postpon'd to Prayer . But in regard that all men follow different employments , according to the diversity of their Genius ; I shall reduce all the business of the Mahometans into three particular Heads . The Ecclesiastical Affairs , the Business of the Divan , and the popular Employments . To the first appertains the Duty of Prayer ; to the second the Execution of Justice ; to the last belong the Trades of the People and their Military Exercises . To every one of which I shall say something briefly without stopping at any thing which others perhaps may have said before me . of the Turkish Mosquees or Temples . AT what time the Turks begun to set up the first exercise of their Religion , they perform'd their Divine Worship in the open fields , and before all the world , as they still continue to do in such places where they have no Mosquees . But after their Empire began to enlarge , and that they had won several Towns from the Christians , they also made use of their Churches to practice therein the ceremonies of their own Religion : And when they had occasion to . build Mosquees , they took their Models from those of the Christians , not being Architects skilful enough to erect them after their own proper and particular manner . And this is the reason that all the Mosquees in Constantinople are but imperfect copies of Sancta Sophia . They have only added some Towers and Portico's adorn'd with Fountains after their custome . As may be easily observ'd in the Draught of the three fairest Mosquees in Constantinople hereunto annex'd . Of which I shall only explain the Directions , there needing no more than only to observe the platform and the out-side work for the more easie apprehending what is most remarkable . The New Mosquee , situated in the Hippodrome . SUltan Achmed's Mosquee may pass for o●e of the most beautiful as to the out-side , which ever the Turks erected , it being the only Temple of all that ever I saw in the East , which has six Towers , whereas the rest have not above Two or Four at most . These Six Towers are very high , having every one three Galleries a piece , so wrought that you may see through them in divers places , though they are built of white hard stone , not much unlike to Marble . Every one of these have within them a pair of winding stairs . Now in regard these Towers are very high , and the winds very boysterous at Constantinople , it may be thought such sort of Buildings should be subject to frequent downfalls ; this cosinderation caus'd Monsieur Colbert , whose knowledge of things is as general , as of large extent , to ask me whether they did not often tumble down ? I answered him , that those Towers being wrought very smooth and round , they did not make resistance sufficient to give the Winds power to shake them : Besides that the Stones are mortass'd one within another , and bound together with a very strong and stiff cement , so that there has not been observ'd the fall of any Tower erected upon the Ruins of the Christian Buildings , for above these two Hundred years . This Mosquee Built by Sultan Achmet , is situated in the largest Piazza belonging to the City of Constantinople , formerly call'd the Hippodrome , because it was the place where they ran their Horse-Races ; and being still made use of for the same purpose , the Turks give it the name of Atmeidan , The place for the Horses . This Piazza , which I have not describ'd as being already done by others , lyes to the west of the Temple , as also the famous Serraglio of Ibrahim Basha , which is a far better piece of Architecture in some of our Romances , than it appears to be in the Hippodrome ; to the North-East and South-East side of it , toward the Channel of the Black-Sea , lye the delightful Landskips of Scutari , Calcedon , Fanari-sckio , and of the Plains , Hills and Valleys , that environ them . The Isles of the Princes and the Propontis appear to the South , with a part of the City ; and upon the North and North-West side stands the Church of Sancta Sophia , the Serraglio , the City of Gelata , the Haven of Constantinople , and all the Suburbs which are very large : So that the top of this Mosquee , and the Towers that environ it , afford one of the most delightful prospects in the whole world . Although the Hippodrome , which is a Piazza almost twice as big as the Place Royal in Paris , ly just before the Mosquee ; yet there is also another large square , to enclose the Building , which is separated from the Atmeidan by a low wall , about Fourscore ●athom in length , having in it Seventy two Windows with Iron Grates , and three Gates , of which one stands in the middle , and the other two at each end of the wall , being all three barricadoed with Iron chains , like the doors of all the rest of the Mosquees . This Church-yard , if it may be so call'd , is planted with Trees , making several straight walks , especially on the North-side where the Founder lyes entomb'd , as also that unfortunate Prince Sultan Osman , who was put to death in the Seven Towers . Now though this Mosquee may be said to be the most beautiful in Constantinople , if not in all the East , yet there is not any more irregularly built in all the Ottoman Empire , not only against the Laws of Architecture , but also contrary to the Mahometan injunctions . 'T is true , that in regard it requires a vast expence to erect a Mosquee , therefore the Grand Signors are expresly forbid to undertake so difficult an enterprize until they shall have won from the Infidels , Cities , Provinces , or Kingdoms sufficient to defray the excessive charges of such magnificent Piles . However Sultan Achmet , though he had not by any conquest extended the bounds of the Empire , resolv'd to Build a Mosquee , to the end he might eternize his name , since his atchievements did not suffice to recommend him to posterity . And though the Mufti , the Mulla's the Cheiks , and other Doctors of the Law , laid before him the sin of undertaking to erect such a costly fabrick , since he had never been in any other Combats , than those which are daily to be seen for the exercise of the pages , and divertisement of the Prince , nevertheless he gave little heed to their admonitions , but carried on the work with a vigour answerable to his resolutions ; and when he had finish'd the Pile , because he had slighted his Chaplains exhortations , call'd it Imansis Gianisi , or the Temple of the Incredulous . It is also call'd the new Mosquee , as being one of the last that was Built . The whole body of this Mosquee is of a square figure , cover'd with a Domo , not so proportionable as it should have been to the rest . It is supported within , by Four large thick round Pillars , and the Arches which , winding over them , sustain the four half Domes that encompass the great one , are the occasion that the Building is neither very Roomy , nor over light . Before you enter the Mosquee you must pass through a very lovely Court , surrounded with a Cloister ▪ supported with Six and Twenty Arches , which have every one of them their Roof and their Cupola cover'd with Lead . All these little Domes are supported by Twenty Six Columns of speckl'd Egyptian Marble very neatly turn'd , but their Chapters are after the Turkish manner ; all the space which they environ is pav'd with square Marble , in the midst of which stands a Fountain of an Hexagon figure , built of the same stone . This prostile or Court is rais'd very high ; there being no less than Thirteen steps up to it . The rest of the Building may better be seen and understood in the following Plate , to which I refer you for farther satisfaction . An Explanation of Figure XI . A. The Circumference and Elevation of the Grand Dome . B. The four great round Pillars that support the great Dome . They are over-topp'd by Four little Hexagon Towers , which appear without at the Direction B. C. Four Semi-Domes , resting upon the Grand Cupola . D. Four little Domes at the four corners of the Mosquee . E. The great door of the Mosquee , whose Cupola is higher than the rest . F. A great number of Fountains under Galleries supported with Marble Pillars . G. The Court surrounded with Galleries cover'd with Thirty small Cupola's , resting upon Twenty Six Pillars of speckl'd Marble . THE PROSPECT OF SULTAN ACHMED's MOSQUEE H. Two doors having several steps to enter into the Court , one to the North , and the other to the South . I. Two other doors with steps opening into the Mosquee . K. The outward Galleries that give admitance into the inward Galleries that answer to them , mark'd in the Plat form with the letter K. L. The place where the Maharab or Mirabe stands . M. The Six Towers , each of which has Three Balconies for the Muezins to call the people to Prayer . N. The great door of the Church-yard . O. The chief entrance into the Cloyster . P. A hexagonal Fountain cover'd with its Dome . Of the Solimany . IF ever Emperour of the Turks merited according to their Law to erect a Temple , in regard of the Conquests he had made upon the enemies of the Ottoman Grandeur , assuredly Sultan Soliman was the person , the second who bore that name , and the Fourteenth Emperour of the Musselmen . All the three parts of the Hemisphere serv'd only to be the large ▪ Theater where he acted the fatal Tragedies of War. The unfortunate Rhodes was one of the first places in Asia , that became the deplorable subject of his Triumphs . A good part of the Kingdom of Persia , of which he took upon him the Imperial Diadem at Bagdat , submitted to his fortune , after he had won Herzeron , Irivan , Thauris , and several other places . He also made himself Master of Tunis and Tripoli in Africa , and wrested a great part of Hungry from the European Potentates , taking the Cities of Buda , Alba Regalis , and the Fort of Sigeth some days even after his death at Quinque Ecclesiae . This Prince , ( who was Proclaim'd Emperour of the Turks the same year that Charles the V. was Crown'd Emperour of the Germans ) after his return to Constantinople from the Conquests of Rhodes , and Bagdat , caus'd that stately Mosquee to be erected , to which he gave his own name , to the end that it might remain to Posterity a faithful and eternal Monument of his Victories . This Temple is one of those where Mahometan Architecture has follow'd the strictest Rules of Art , being no less beautiful within than without , and Built like the rest upon a square Foundation , cover'd in the middle with a large Domo , no way inferiour either in beauty or figure to that of Sancta Sophia . This Domo is sustain'd with four large Pillars mark'd in the Draught Fig. XIII . with the letter D. and between these Pillars to the North and South , stand two great massie speckl'd Marble Columns , all of a piece , that form three Arches , which bear a piece of the wall , and strengthen the great Arch of the great Pillars which stand at a very wide distance . To these Four great Pillars within , there are Two others that answer without , to which they serve as buttresses , so far however from deformity , that they rather please the eye ; as you may observe in the Plate of the outside , Fig. XII . at the letter D. Within these outermost Buttresses runs up a little pair of stairs leading to the Roof , and Domes of the Temple , to which you may easily ascend by another pair of stairs that are above without side , mark'd by the letter B. Between these Buttresses are three Windows that enlighten the sides of the Church , under which Windows are two very fair Galleries , roof'd and cover'd with Lead , and supported with several Marble Pillars , with their Chapters after the Turkish manner , as at the letter G. and a little lower at F. are the ●ountains wherein to wash before Prayers begin . On the right side of these Fountains , at the letter E. stands a little round door , at the foot of several steps , leading up to a little lattic'd Gallery , through which the Grand Signor ascends into his Closet , alighting first from his Horse upon a stone cut into steps , and mark'd with the letter Q. A little beyond , at the direction L. is the Garden where Sultan Soliman the Founder and his Wife lye interr'd , and into which you may enter through the door mark'd H. or another which is opposite to it ; which door is barricado'd with a chain , as you may see in the Draught of the North part , Fig. XII . I have already told the Reader , that the Eastern people know no such evil custom as that of Burying their Dead within the walls of their Churches , let their Quality or Wealth be never so considerable . But for all that , the Emperours many times dispense with that custom so far , as to reserve to themselves a Burying place near to the Mosquees of their own Erecting . And therfore Soliman , than whom no man had a greater care of infringing the laudable customs of good Government and Order , would not have his bones laid within the Temple , but reserv'd for himself a Sepulcher in the Garden behind his Mosquee , which in the Draught is mark'd with the letter I. This Tomb is the most regular and best piece of workmanship in all Constantinople , being of an Octagon figure , encompass'd without with a Gallery , of which the roof is supported with Fifteen small Marble Pillars ; and within is also another small octangular Gallery , having a green Marble Column erected at each Angle , with their Pedestals and Chapters of white Marble , which form as many Arches , that support the Domo . In the midst of this Sepulcher is the Tomb it self of Soliman and his Son , at the foot of which stands a large Taper in a Candle-stick of Copper . Round about are several woodden Lecterns or high Desks , where the Softa's lay their books , when they come to pray for his Soul. In the same Garden is also the Sepulcher of Soliman's Wife , mark'd with the letter K. For as the Turks never admit their Wives to pray with 'em when they are alive , so they never suffer them to lye with 'em in the same Tomb , when they are dead . Believing their old Wives shall never be admitted to accompany them into Paradice , where they hope to find far younger and handsomer , leaving their cast-terrestrial Wives to make much of the Giaurs , whose lot they pretend it will be to stand without doors . Not far off are the Houses of Easement for the Softa's , of whom there are a vast number employ'd to take care of Soliman's future happiness , as one that left great Pensions behind him for that purpose . The Solimannie Built by Soliman the Magnificent . The Two Towers next the Mosquee are crown'd with three very high Galleries , but they which stand at the end of the Court are lower , and circled only with Two Galleries , for the use of the Muezins . These two little Towers terminate the whole Building , which is in the middle of a large Court , planted round with Trees , environ'd with a Wall , wherein are several open Windows grated and Barr'd , as may be seen in the Draughts of the Elevation and Platform . An Explication of Figure XII . A. The great Domo , not much less than that of Sancta Sophia , and almost as much weather-beaten . B. The steps-leading to the Gallery round about the Dome . C. Other little Domes that are plac'd round about the Temple . D. Buttresses having stairs within , the Cupola's which cover them being only for outward Ornament , as giving no light into the Temple . E. doors and steps where the Grand Signor ascends into his Closet . F. The Fountains where the Turks wash . G. Galleries for the Sultan's principal Officers . H. The entrance into the Garden , which contains the Sepulchers of Soliman and his Wife . I. Soliman the Founders Sepulcher . K. His Wives Tomb. L. Several Trees which make the walks that beautify this Garden . M. The Two great Towers . M* . Two other lesser Towers at the West end of the Cloister , circled with only Two Galleries , and lower than the other . N. The North entrance into the Mosqu●e . O. The small Cupola's that cover the Gallery that runs round the Court. P. The Dome which covers the Fountain in the middle of the Court. Q. A large stone cut into steps , where the Grand Signor alights , when he comes to Prayers . An Explanation of Figure XIII . A. The Domo , one of the fairest and neatest , next to that of Sancta Sophia . B. The Mirabe or Maharab , in the midst of the Temple , standing here in its right situation toward Koble . C. The Mufti 's Mamber . D. The four great Pillars that sustain the great Dome . E. Four large speckl'd Marble Columns , very high and all of a piece . F. The little Galleries within the Mosquee . f. The Fountains under the outer Galleries . G. The outer Galleries , through which the Grand Signors Train enter into those within . g. The door at which the Grand Signor enters . H. The little Pillars that support the two Cupola's , which supply the defect of the Grand Dome , between which Pillars are also little Galleries supported with little Marble Pillars . THE PLATFORM OF THE SOLIMANIE I. The great door of the Mosquee in the midst of the Cloister . K. The doors to the North and South sides . L. Six Domes of a middle size . l. Four lesser Domes . M. The Four Towers with their stairs . m. Six other pair of stairs to ascend into the Galleries without at the top of the structure . N. The two entrances of each side of the Court. O. The great door . P. The Fountain in the Court. Q. The floor pav'd with marble , as is the whole Mosquee . R. Twenty Eight little Cupola's that cover the Arches , supported by Twenty four Columns all of a size . S. The Seven doors of the Enclosure answering to as many avenues . T. The Solimanny , being built upon one of the Hills in Constantinople , causes an ascent to the North , for which reason the North doors have each a pair of stairs , leading up to the Platform , adorn'd with rails , and shaded with several Trees . t. The Adepkana's or Houses of Easement . V. The same conveniences for the Priests belonging to the Sepulcher . X. The Church-yard wall'd in , opening with Nine doors , and planted round with Trees . Y. The Platform of Soliman's Sepulcher . Z. His Wife 's Tomb. ✚ . A little Chappel where Passengers or the Officers of the old Seraglio retire to pray for the Founders . Of the Mosquee of Validea , built by the Sultaness , Mother of the present Grand Signor . 'T Is not a usual thing in Turkie , for the Sultanesses to build Mosquees . Only this was a peculiar priviledge which the Mother of the Grand Signor now Raigning , obtain'd by her extraordinary wit and cunning , as having by the same Artifices obtain'd an entire freedome , and credit over all the Ottoman Empire . This Temple which is the last Monument of Mahometan piety , to my thinking is one of the most elegant and most exact pieces of workmanship of all the rest which are in Constantinople . And indeed it was no more than might be well expected from the Sultaness Validea , the Wife of Ibrahim the I. and Mother of Mahomet the IV. who being one of the most aspiring and accomplish'd Lady 's that ever enter'd the Seraglio , would most certainly spare for no cost , when she had once design'd to eternize her memory by a curiosity in Architecture . To which intent she could not have chosen a situation more advantageous or more favourable to her purpose , as intending thereby to oblige all the Ottoman Princes descending from her issue , and all the people in subjection to their Laws , together with all such strangers as should come to Constantinople , to bear her in remembrance , while the one admir'd the sublimity of her parts in carrying on , and bringing to perfection a work so rarely thought of by those of her sex among the Turks , and from the other she procur'd to her self that happiness which she expected by vertue of the supplications of those , who beholding the beauty of her female Fabrick , would be continually praying for the eternal rest of her soul. She therefore made choice for the situation of her Mosquee , of a piece of ground not far from the Seraglio , and at a very little distance from those lovely Kioscs , which the Grand Signor erected to give his Sultanesses the pleasure of viewing the Port of Constantinople , and all the Vessels that sail'd in and out . This Temple is erected upon a square Foundation in a large circuit of ground , environ'd by the walls of the City to the North and West : The south space is taken up with a Bazar or Market-house , and her own Sepulcher , both which she added to her Religious structure . The East part is enclos'd with another wall , wherein is the principal entrance into the enclosure , in such a place as answers to one of the Gates of the City , not far distant from the Seraglio Gardens . Validea Built by the present Grand Signor's Mother . The Explanation of Fig. XIV . A. The Grand Domo cover'd with Lead , and topp'd with aspire of Gilded Brass . B. Little ●anterns to adorn the out-side only , and to facilitate the ascent to the Dome . C. Two great Semi-Domes answering to two other on the other side . D. The outermost Galleries answering to those other in the inside . E. A large Kiosk for the Grand Signor to rest himself when he comes to this Mosquee , and the two small Towers appearing like Chimneys above it , denote it to be a Royal Fabrick . F. The Fountains where the Turks wash , there being as many on the other side . f. The door by which the Grand Signor enters . G. The Entrance to the North. H. The North door of the Court. I. A stair-case , and door leading from the Sea-side to the Court , barricado'd with a chain . K. The principal entrance into the Cloister and Mosquee , where all the Cupola's that appear about the Cloister , cover so many Arches supported by Marble Pillars . L. The Trees planted all along upon the south side of the Mosquee , in the midst of which is the Sepulcher where the Sultaness lyes . Behind the Trees appear the Cupola's of a very fair Timarkana or Hospital Founded by the Princess . M. The Two Towers surrounded with Three Galleries a piece . N. This ●uddle of Domo's is a large Bazar or Market-house , with shops and lofts , call'd Validea's Bazar , as being by her Built . O. At the Two chief entrances into this Fabrick are Two Sebilkana's or Water Almes-Houses , where the people drink water gratis . That on the other side is much larger , where the Sebilkar , or person imploy'd to distribute the Water , during all the heat of Summer , cools his pots in Buckets of Snow , where you shall hear the poor people after they have drank cry out , Rakmet ulla alla men aoukaf . God be merciful to her , through whose goodness we enjoy this kindness . P. The Custome-house of Constantinople : right against which on the other side lies that of Galata . Q. The descent from the Harbour of Validea . R. Certain Fruiterers shops . Now in regard this Mosquee is most of all expos'd to the view of those that come to Constantinople , therefore it is that the Turks most usually solemnize their publick thanksgivings in this Mosquee . The Grand Signor no sooner wins any Victory over his enemies , but the Towers of Validea are the first that with their Bonfires and fire-works give notice thereof to the people . The Galleries which are very large being all hung round with lighted Torches , and the combustible matter so dispos'd upon Lines and Chains , that you may read in the very flames the name of the Grand Signor , and the Conquests he has gain'd . But flying Fire-works , as Squibs and Rockets , are utterly forbid , to prevent firing of Houses , especially when the Kara-iel or North-East Wind blows . This Wind blowing frequently at Constantinople , is never so much to be fear'd as when any fire breaks out , so that if any person had a design to reduce this great City to ashes ; he need set but any one house on fire near Validea , when this Wind rages , by one private way or other , of which many might be found out , and he would certainly see the sad but assured success of his enterprize . They call this wind Kara-iel or the black wind , not only because it blows from the Black-Sea , but in regard of the fatal effects which it produces , it being the occasion of dismal losses to those that Sail from Cuffa in Crim-Tartarie to Constantinople . For confirmation of which , I one day there saw the ruins of one of the most deplorable shipwracks that had happen'd in those parts of a long time . Several Vessels of different Burden set ●ail from Caffa , to the number of Eighteen , with a good Wind ; but in a short time that pleasant Gale not able to keep the field , was forc'd to give way to a Kara-iel so rude and boystrous , that hardly the like had rag'd in those Seas . The miserable Vessels were now in the midst of those merciless waves , when this Tempest surpriz'd them , and not knowing where to cast Anchor , they were forc'd to quit their helmes , and commit themselves purely to the compassion of the wind , in expectation of nothing but Death . In short , the wind having thus got them within his power , some he brake one against another , others he dash'd against the Rocks , so that of all the whole number , only Two escap'd , which by good fortune arriv'd at Constantinople without Sail , Mast , or Rudder , as if the Sea had only spar'd those two to carry tydings what was become of the rest . All the Houses of eight and twenty Towns that ly upon the Thracian Bosphorus , some in Asia , some in Europe side , had not Windows sufficient to hold the Spectators that throng'd to view the miserable estate of these shatter'd Vessels , driving along toward the Haven . Which so mollifi'd the Beholders hearts , that some made Vows for their safe arrival in Harbour , others wept , and all deplor'd their condition till they saw them safe in the Port. The Vessels which ly in the Harbour of Constantinople fear not so much this black wind , from which they are shelter'd by the Hills of Pera and Tophana , as they do Gun doghisi , or Gun batisi ocusguiar , that is to say the Eastern and West●rn Winds , especially when they blow hard . For then they knock the Ships one against another , after such a surly manner , that the Mariners are constrain'd to a very hard labour , not inconvenient to themselves alone ; for they must be very drousie that can sleep in any of the Houses adjoyning to the Port , by reason of the hideous noise which the Sea-men make a-board the Ships . There is nothing to be heard but a confusion of Voices , which spreading through the streets over all the Neighbouring Hills , allarm 's all the Dogs in the City , who each putting in for a share to make up the dismal consort , cause such a dreadful disorder in the Air , that you would think the dissolution of Nature were at hand : Enough to terrifie the most daring resulution , in a person that never had heard the same before . Besides these Four Mosquees , there are several others very considerable , to which they give the title Dgiameler , or Royal Mosquees , every one bearing the Names of those Emperours that built them ; nor are they consecrated by any other Title than that of their Founder ; Sultan Bajazet , Sultan Mahomet , Sultan Selim , Sultan Morat Giamisi . But if a Basha were the Founder , they are distinguish'd by the word that denotes his Employment , and that other word Meschit , and thus that Mosquee which the Basha of Caramania Built , is call'd Caraman Pacha Meschit . But the word Dgiami being more honourable , it is given indifferently to all the Turkish Mosquees , so that custom will rather have it . Mahomet Pacha Dgiamisi , than Isouf Aga Meschit . The number of Mosquees is very great over all Turkie , in regard the Turks are very punctual in coming to Prayers at least thrice a day . In the City of Constantinople alone there are reckon'd to be Four Thousand Nine Hundred Sixty Five . And a certain Dervich told me one day , there were no less than Fourteen Thousand in all Turkey ; though I fear he was out of his tale , if not six , yet five Thousand at least : They are all kept well in repair , as being all well endow'd , besides that one or other Godly Musselman dyes every day , leaving a pious morsell behind him for his souls benefit . The usual Foundation-rate for the Softa to read Prayers five or seven times in a day , is Eight or Ten Aspers per diem : He that leaves such a Legacy does well ; others leave so much for the maintenance of a Lamp , or so much quarterly to the Poor ; of all which Legacies , the Kesler Agasi , or Superintendent over the Ladies of the Serraglio , is Disposer General , and next to him the Katib , or Curate of the Mosquee . Now among the great number of those that repair to the Mosquees , there are some who out of a desire to be accompted holy , are not content to abide in the Mosquee all day , but beg to stay there also all Night long in the exercise of their Devotions , among the rest a 〈◊〉 , who was lookt upon in the neighborhood where he liv'd as a very sober religious person , begg'd leave from the Director of a small Mosquee , that he might sometimes tarry all night to satisfie his devotions . The Director , who in those little Mosquees is both Iman , Porter and Lamp-lighter , embody'd all in one Office , willing to gratify the good mans zeal , granted his request , as often as he desir'd , not Dreaming that his design was to devour more Oyl in one than would feed Twenty Lamps in a fcore of Nights . For he knew him to be a man that few had observ'd ever to eat but very sparingly , and therefore judg'd him to be a most sanctify'd soul. But he was ignorant it seems , that he slept all day , and took his repasts gratis at Night : But at length , finding that his Oyl wasted at an ungodly rate , and not knowing whom in the world to suspect , he order'd one night two of his friends to watch this same pious Dervich , and if they found him peccant , to strap him wellfavourdly . For he shrewdly suspected this holy Votary to be the Zetiegi or Oyl-licker , and absolutely clear'd the Rats as innocent of the crime . To this purpose , the Iman having plac'd his friends in a convenient corner , lock'd the Mosquee door and went his way . Presently the devout Dervich believing all was safe , drew out his loaf from his bosome and fell to work , and ever and anon , as he dipp'd his bread in one of the Lamps which was full of excellent Oyl , he would thus reason with his conscience touching the scruples which it weakly offer'd to defer him from stealing the joy of his stomach . Whatever ( said he ) comes from God is common , this Temple and all that is in it comes from God ; this Oyl comes from God ; this bread comes from God , and I am the servant of God , and therefore I may make use of what comes from God , and so fell a sopping , like a Rat that dips his tail in a Sack-but . The Iman's two friends having observ'd him , and mad to see how greedily the holy Dervich lick'd up the sacred Oyl , stole upon him without being perceiv'd , while he was busie at his bou allactan guelur , which he repeated every time he sopp'd his bread , and giving him some half ascore good licks over the shoulders , crying out at the same time Bou daha allactan guelur , This also comes from God , turned him out of the Mosquee , where he was never permitted to sop more . Of the Mahometan Ecclesiastical Officers . AS for the Ecclesiastical persons that officiate in the Turkish Mosquees , thus in short . The Mufti is the chief , being as it were the Patriarch of the Turks , and principal Governour of all the Mosquees , as also chief President of all the Divans . His authority extends over all Turkie , as being a person of great merit and well vers'd in Law ; for which reason he is consulted in all affairs most knottie and difficult to resolve . The question is propounded to him in writing , and the business is determin'd by his Olur or Olmaz , it may , or may not be , which he subscribes at the bottom of the Fetfa , or demand , with his name , and addition of Fakir or Poor , which he affects above all other . Next to the Mufti is the Katib or Curate , who reads Prayers upon Fridays and other Holy-days : Under him are the Imans , of which there are several belonging to the Cathedral Mosquees : And next to them the Belligler or Singing men . The Ovazes , or Nasijetgis , who are the Preachers , and mount the Pulpit Three times a week , to instruct the people in the points of Religion , and what they ought to believe and do . The Sokta's or Softa's and Mulla's , who are sort of hirelings , that never say Prayers but when they are pay'd for it , or else when they are sent for to sing the praises of the dead . The Mucktars who take care of the Lamps ; the Klingiler , who looks after the Carpets ; the Kaimgiler , or Supurgiler , whose business it is to clean the Carpets , as also the rest of the Temple . The Capigiler or Porter ; the Muezins or Cryers ; and several sorts of Derviches , Cheiks , and Santons , a sort of people that resort to the Mosquees , rather to share in the Almes , than for any service which they perform there . All the Officers are well pay'd , and have good Salaries , to encourage them to be careful to keep the Mosquees neat and clean from all manner of filth and defilement , and more especially to keep out the Dogs . Only Cats are priviledg'd , as well to the end they may kill the Mice , which many times make bold with the Carpets , as for that they were Mahomets good friends , being generally a very cleanly creature : Add to this a third reason , because they sing upon the Tiles so like to his Musitianers . Of their Hospitals . YOu may cast into the number of Mosquees , those other places which the Turkish Piety has Founded in Constantinople . For there are in that City above an hundred considerable Timarkana's or Hospitals for the infirm and distracted ; and Takiakana's , or places to lodge the poor , where they have every day an allowance of Bread and Porridge . The Khans or Caravansera's are great houses built much like the Colledges in Paris , and founded by rich persons , to lodge strangers , where they may remain secure , and at small expences , as long as they please , paying only one or two Aspers a day , which is no more than a Sous at most . There are of these Karavansera's about Four Hundred and Seventeen , with their Fountains and store-houses , and some have their Mosquees , and Baths too within themselves . The strict prohibition of Wine among the Turks , makes them take great care in providing store of Fountains as well for their Religious as necessary uses . Insomuch that the number of Fountains in Constantinople and the Suburbs is reckon'd to amount to Five Thousand Nine Hundred Thirty Five , as well those belonging to the Mosquees , as in other parts of the City , from whence the Water-bearers fetch it in great Brazen Tankards , holding the quantity of two of our Buckets , and carry it home to the houses of such as want it . The water which supylyes these Fountains , is brought from Belgrade , a City distant from Constantinople about Four or Five Leagues . Of the Divan , or the Turks Courts of Iustice. AS among all the Nations in the world , it will be a difficult thing to find any one that bears a greater reverence to the places appointed for Divine Worship , than the Turks , so may it likewi●e be as certain that there are not any people more submissive to the decrees and sentences that issue out of the Divan , in point of Justice . There is no requiring a second Summons to cite the party to appear before the Judge . He that believes himself most guilty , fears not to go and receive his Sentence , as if he believ'd the proverb absolutely true , which sayes , that the hand cut off by Iustice does no evil . Yet does not this proceed from the integrity of their Judges , nor the equity of their Laws , for there is nothing more unjust or more Tyrannical , but it proceeds from the fear of the Battoon , and the cruel Fines which they lay upon people , who neither dare nor can appeal to any superiour Justice , which can only be expected by the Caimacan or Grand Vizier himself . The Court of Justice is call'd the Divan , and there is one at least in every City , how small so ever it be , where it is kept of due right in the Cadi's house . But where there is a Basha , he does all he can to deprive him of that priviledge , and to take the Cognizance of all business to himself . As for the Constantinopolitan Divan , it is held in the great Serraglio four times a week , Saturday , Sunday , Munday and Thursday . Upon every one of these days , the principal Offic●●● ▪ that is to say , the Grand Vizier , or in his absence the Caimacan , sits in the middle , the Nichandgi Bachi , or the Keeper of the Seals , upon his right hand ; the Cadile squiers , or Superintendents of Justice , upon his left hand ; and the Defterdars , or Prothonotaries , some on the one side , some on the other . The Capigi Bachi or chief Porter , and Chaours Bachi or chief Usher , guard the Entrance . The chief Affairs under the Cognizance of this Chamber are the publick Revenue , then the Militia , next the political Government , and distribution of Justice over the whole Ottoman Empire . Then they examine the Negotiations of Embassadours , what they demand , and what answer to give . Afterwards they make dispatch of Priviledges , Grants , Passports , Letters to the absent Basha's , and condemn Criminals , or those whom they believe to be so , to death . This done , they hear the business and complaints of particular persons , doing quick justice , and with a conscionable equity , especially if the Grand Signor be in Town . For then the Judges are afraid , lest he should be listning at a certain Window that looks into the Divan , having only a black Cyprus Curtain drawn before it , and being himself a witness of their injustice , should send for their heads as soon as they rise from the Tribunal . It will be needless here to tell you what crimes deserve burning , what empaling , what hanging , what merit casting into the Sea , and what offences are punish'd with drubbing . 'T is sufficiently known , that all Offenders against Mahometanism are only burnt and empal'd ; Murder and Robbery is punish'd with hanging and beheading ; Adultresses are thrown into the Sea ; but as for drubbing every small fault procures it . And therefore since I can add nothing but what has been abundantly discours'd already , I shall only relate a short but pleasant story concerning the Justice of the Turks . It is the custome of the Turkish Judges , to cause the party that brings his cause before them to swear the truth of the matter alledg'd by laying his hand upon the Alcoran , with this farther penalty , if what he swears to be true prove false , he shall be forc'd to part with his Wife to the Embraces of another , at least for such a time , which custome is more especially observ'd in Syria . One time while I was at Antiochia , a young Merchant of that City , who was lately Marry'd to a beautiful Phoenician Damsel of Damascus , whom he passionately lov'd , had some occasion of suit with a Merchant of Aleppo , at what time to confirm the justice of his cause , he happen'd to let fall certain words , that he wish'd another might enjoy his Wife , if the thing he had sworn were not true . Whereupon the Judge gave judgment in favour of the young Marry'd Merchant , and condemn'd his Adversary . He understanding well the penalty which the Law inflicted upon those that swear a false Oath , would not abide by the first Sentence , but brought about the business again , in hopes of a revenge , if he could so order the matter that the young Merchant might be parted from his Wife , though it were for no longer than Twenty Four Hours , long enough a conscience for a man to be fairly Cornuted . To which purpose he made it his business to find out some Knight of the Post , to swear that what his adversary had sworn was false . This was no difficult thing to obtain , for among the Turks , there are several who will sell their consciences at a cheap rate . Nor was it long before the Aleppo Merchant being furnish'd for his Money , brought Witnesses to swear according to his mind and direction . Which being solemnly done , the Cadi turns the scale of Justice , and condemns the amorous Antio●hian according to the Law , as a person who not regarding his word , was unworthy to possess so fair a Treasure , to lose his Wife , and orders him to deliver her up to his disposal . The unfortunate young man , heavily afflicted at the thought of a loss so insupportable , made his Addresses to a certain Cheik , who had the repute of a very wi●e and learned man , and to whom frequent applications were made in difficult cases , desiring him to find out a knack to puzzle the Law. He unfolded his condition to him , and besought him to invent some way to mitigate the rigour of the Law , and to speak to the Cadi in his behalf ; withal , to Oyl the wheels of his Invention , he gave the Cheik Ten Sequins in hand , to the value of Three and Twenty French Crowns . The Cheik , who was no fool , but a person of a quick wit , and sharp Imagination , told the young Merchant , that it was an enterprize of great difficulty to move against the power of the Law , however he made no question to find out some favourable interpretation of it , and so to order the matter that the Cadi should confirm his exposition , provided he would not be wanting on his part to prepare the Judge for an Alteration of his opinion , by anointing the palm of his hand with a small present of that effectual Balsom which men call Gold. The Merchant of Antiochia , who would have parted with all Syria , rather than his dear and beautiful Wife , was not unmindful of the Cheik's wholsome admonition . So home he went , fetches Twenty Sequin● more , and returnes to his Law-Doctor . When the Cheik beheld the fair Temptation ready , away he carry's the young afflicted Lover to the Cadi , who having order'd the Client and his Council admittance , Sir , said the Cheik , you have given sentence against this person , which I cannot deny but to be conformable to Law ; however , in regard it is a great affliction to him , and that he is my particular friend , I come here to beseech ye , that for my sake you would receive the little small present which he makes ye , and permit me to construe this Law according to my slender opinion . The Law is , that whoever he be that shall swear a false Oath , shall be for ever parted from his Wife , or at least that another man shall enjoy her for Twenty Four hours , and ly with her in the presence of her Husband . I confess , the Law is a good Law , and the sentence you have given is a just sentence . But , Sir , let me begg that it may be thus put in execution . The Merchant Wife shall be parted from him for Twenty Four Hours as you have determin'd ▪ But he that enjoys her , and that shall embrace her in the presence of her Husband , shall be if you are so pleased to decide it , the River that washes the Walls of Antiochia , he has all the qualities which the Law requires , he is call'd Orontes , and is of the Masculine Gender . The Cadi surpriz'd at the ingenious Evasion which the Cheik had found out to help him to the Twenty Sequins , chang'd his former opinion , and pronounc'd Sentence of Execution according to the cunning Advocates more gainful intimations , and dismiss'd both Parties out of the Court , to the great joy of the young Marry'd Merchant . Of the Employments of the Turks . MAn was born for Action , and those Nations are most worthy of praise , who best imploy themselves , and are most in business . True it is , that the final causes of the Turkish industry , are the same with those of all other people , necessity , profit , and pleasure ; but in regard they are contented with very little , therefore they are not much perplex'd with an eager thirst after wealth , not think it worth the breaking their Brains in the study of Arts and Sciences . So that it is no wonder if you meet among them , with no more than what is absolutely necessary for humane being ; indispensable in the course of Trade , or but meanly assistant to the divertisements of the Mind , or recreations of the Body , or to pass away the time , which always grows tedious to persons so lumpish and so little studious as the Mahometans . Those Employments to which necessity constrains the Turks are Agriculture , Baking , dressing Victuals , and Building . As to the first , the Christians are only they that Till the Earth over all the Ottoman Empire . The Turks never put their hands to the Plough , unless extremity constrain them ; for there must be neither Christians nor Armenians in that Village , where the Turks trouble their heads either with Sowing or Reaping . As to the second , there are in Constantinople not above seven Hundred Bakers that keep publick Ovens , where those that make their bread themselves may carry their dough to have it bak'd . These Bakers , whom they call Ecmekgiler , generally keep a Mill in their own houses , which Mills , to the number of Six Hundred , are turn'd by several sorts of beasts , according as they are in bigness . There are neither Water nor Windmills belonging to the City , nor to any of the adjacent parts . Neither is their bread well tast●d nor good for any thing , but when it is hot , or only of one days baking ; for it being made up in flat round Cakes , presently grows hard and dry . Their Cookery is much like that in the Kitchen of Alexander the Great , who refus'd the Cooks which the Queen of Caria sent him , saying , that his Governour Leonidas had left him two , the best in the world at making Sawces to quick'n the Appetite , that is to say , stirring in a Morning to sharpen the stomach against Dinner , and Evening exercise to beget an Appetite for Supper ; and indeed those are the best sawces to make a man relish the Mahometan Ragou's . Pilaw , or Rice boyl'd in the Broath of flesh , or else with Water and Butter , is one of their choicest dainties , and without which the greatest feast in the world would signifie little . With this they frequently mix a sort of curdled Milk , which they call Ioghourt , Saffron to colour it , Honey or Pekmes to sweeten it , and several other Ingredients , such as the fantasticalness of a deprav'd relish dictates to their humour . Their Roastmeats , which they call Kiabab , of which they seldome make use , are neither larded nor stuff'd , unless it be with the fat of huge Caramania Mutton , and little better tasted than their Boyl'd ; and then lastly , in regard the pleasure of Prohibited Wine never keeps them long carowsing after meals , they have snapp'd up their Dinners and folded up their Sofra or Napkin , before a French man has supp'd up his first mess of Pottage ; a thing which the Turks never heard talk of . This temperance , which would never agree with a German's or a French-mans stomach , is of great advantage to the Turks , especially in War. For they never burden their Camp with any other provisions , than Rice , Butter , or some few dry'd Fruits , nor carry along with them an unprofitable train of people , to provide and dress a Hundred varieties of dishes ; nor are their Soldiers put to it , to hazard their lives , by straying from their Body , in search of dainties to satisfy their intemperance : And at home , a Tun of Rice , with a small quantity of Butter , and dry'd fruits , will serve a numerous family for a whole Twelve-month . For my part I cannot attribute the strength and plumpness of the Levantines to any other cause than to their temperance . So that were they permitted to enjoy large possessions of their own , and to receive the Rents of them to their own use , that sparing course of life would enrich more Families in a year , than the Kitchen-expences of France have ruin'd Families in that Kingdome in several . For the Kitchen in a House , is like the spleen in a mans body , the larger it grows , the more it occasions the rest of the Vitals to dwindle away . I must confess , in favour of Galen , that the greatest part of the Eastern people , especially the Merchants , Handicraft-Tradesmen , Travellers , and such like , eat little at Dinner , but make their full meals at supper , contrary to the custome of the Europeans , who according to the precepts of the Salern School , follow the advice of Hippocrates . But notwithstanding this dispute between the Two Princes of the Faculty of Physick , Custome ( which is a second Nature ) is the best arbitrator of this difference . However , to say no more of the Turkish Cookery , I cannot forbear at Paris to entertain my friends now and then with a dish of Pilaw , Doulma , Bourek , Chorba , and other Eastern Ragous , to shew that I have dieted with all the Eastern people . Now as for their Architecture , if they have any certain Rules among themselves , they never make use of them for their private edifices . There are none but their publick structures , as Mosquees , Baths , Hospitals , Caravansera's , Basars , and Besestins , which have anything passable to commend their Art. For in their other private Buildings you shall hardly meet with any thing , but only some Rooms Wainscoted , gilt and fretwork'd , and those also but very few , and without any other furniture than Sopha , spread with its Minders and Coverlets . So that whoever considers the Turks frugal manner of living , will easily believe their grand Design to be rather the enlargment of their Dominions , than to establish the prosperity of what they have won already . So vain a thing it is , among them to seek for Amphitheaters , Paintings , Sculptures , or any other rarities , which are the products of noble Arts. They are the sworn enemies of ingenuity , not having any thing among them , but what their own natural stupidity prompts them to , for the meer support of humane life : So far are they from the ancient quaintness and ingenuity of the sedulous . Egyptians , Arabians , and Greeks , whose Territories they now Lord over , tyrannizing over their posterity with so much cruelty , that they will not suffer them to improve those Arts or Sciences among themselves , which their Ancestors first found out , nor to make use of that knowledge which they have gain'd elsewhere , though in the practice of Physic , which they so much admire . So that should an Akin or Physician but attempt the Anatomie or dissection of any Creature , for the discovery of some new benefit to Mankind , he might assure himself , notwithstanding the respect they bear to his profession , of such an unreasonable amercement , as would consume in one day , the gains of all his life before . But I must forbear to speak any more in the dispraise of this Barbarous people , lest they should revenge themselves upon me with Interest when they find me next in their clutches , especially being upon the point of undertaking another Voyage to the same places , that nothing may escape me which is worthy observation in those parts . I shall therefore conclude with my Prayers to the supream Lord of all things , that he would be pleas'd to inspire the most puissant Monarch in the Universe , with a design , which would not fail of success , under the conduct of his Piety , and supported by the Valour of a Prince who justly merits the Title of most Christian King , and happily Victorious . FINIS . THE INDEX . HOw to furnish ones self for a Voyage to Constantinople . p. 1 A Draught of the Hellespont and Propontis . 2 The Hellespont how bounded . ibid Village of Infidels , why so call'd . 3 Plenty of Provision there . ibid. Xanthus and Scamander famous Rivers , why . ibid. The New Castle of Asia describ'd . 4 Turks Bread not so white as ours , why . 5 Ruins of Troy describ'd . 6 Island of Tenedos . 8 An Adventure of the Authors with two French Officers . 9 A Relation of Two famous Exploits perform'd by the Venetians against the Turks . 11 The New Castle of Europe describ'd . 15 The Ignorance of the people which border on the Hellespont . 16 The Dardanels describ'd . 17 Why so call'd . 18 Witchraft of the Inhabitants . 19 The manner of Saluting these Castles . 21 A remarkable story of a French Admiral . 22 Lampsacus , Magnesia , and Myus describ'd . 26 Gallipoli describ'd . 27 Directions for Sea men how to steer through the Hellespont . ibid. The Propontis , why so call'd , its extent and situation . 28 Cyzicum , its ancient and present state . 29 Nice Describ'd . 31 Montagniac formerly Apamea describ'd . 32 Nicomedia , an historical account of it . 33 An accident that happen'd to the Author . 36 A Mahometan Miracle . 37 The Sea of Calcedon , its extent . 38 Fanari-Kios● , a House of Pleasure belonging to the Grand Signor , describ'd . ibid. Calcedon , its History . 40 Rodosto , a particular account of it . 43 Perinthus or Heraclea describ'd . 44 Polygamie not the best way to people a Country . 48 Cotton , how sow'n and gather'd . 49 A remarkable story of the deliverance of a Venetian from Turkish slavery . 50 Isles of Marmara , their Description . 52 Isles of the Princes describ'd . 54 Caloyers , their manner of living . 55 The Draught and Description of Constantinople . 57 It s admirable situation . 59 Its Plenty . 60 Its Antiquity and various Names . 61 Its form and extent . 64 Its Walls and Gates , with a description of the Castle of the seven Towers . 65 The liberty of the Prisoners in that Castle . 66 An Account of Bellisarius's Tower , and the Historical Pillar . 68 What befell a ra●h young Traveller who ascended that Pillar . 69 The Fountain of Sanctification much reverenc'd by the Greeks . 71 Chief Gardiner's Kiosc describ'd . ibid. A Description of Two rich Kiosc's built by Sultan Soliman . 74 The Circuit and Inhabitants of the Grand Seraglio . 76 A Draught of the Seraglio . 77 The French Kings question about the Seraglio , and the Author's answer . 78 The only probable way of getting into the Womens Apartments . 79 A Draught of the Gate of the Seraglio , and its explanation . 80 Sancta Sophia , by whom founded . 81 It s Rebuilding and several Repairs . 83 Its forms and dimensions , and description . 85 A Draught of the Platform , and its explanation . 90 The Turks opinion about Our Saviour's Crucifiction . 99 A reflexion upon the Greeks , and such Travellers as have not been faithful in their Relations about Sancta Sophia . 103 A Draught of the North West Prospect of this Church . 104 The Outside describ'd . 106 A Pleasant Relation of what happen'd to the Author about his drawing the inside of Sancta Sophia . 110 A Draught of its South Prospect . 117 The South Prospect describ'd . 118 Fountains always adjoyning to their Mosquees , and why . 119 A Draught of the inside of Sancta Sophia the East end . 121 Its Description . 122 A Draught of the inside of Sancta Sophia the West end . 128 The Author in great danger . 129 The Description of the West end . 131 The ancient and present state of the Greek Church . 136 Their Patriarch . ibid. The Simony and corruption us'd to attain the Patriarchship . 138 The manner of installing the Patriarch . 139 Their Archbishops , Bishops , &c. 141 The Caloyers . 142 Their Discipline . 143 A story of a young Frier . 144 The Lay-brothers 146 The Secular Priests . 147 The great care used by the Greek Deacons in the choise of their Wives . 148 The Officers of the Greek Church . 150 Their manner of celebrating the feast of Saint Michael . ibid. Their Celebration of Easter . 154 A strange custome with a pleasant Accident . 155 Stratagems used by the Greek Priests to open the Purses of the Laity . 156 Their Faith , and general ignorance . 158 Their Sacraments . How they baptise . 159 Their Holy Oyl , and the dispute between the Armenians and them about it . 160 Sacrament of the Order . 161 Sacrament of Penitence . 162 The Eucharist how receiv'd . 163 Their Marriages . 164 A politick Law. 165 Their Festivals . 166 A strange and idle custome of the Women in Mitylene . 167 The Religious Worship of the Turks , and how they ought to be qualified . 169 Their Faith , and how they came to believe in only one God. 170 Their Circumcision , how perform'd . 173 A wise Saying of the Turks . 176 Three sorts of Renegado's . 177 The Turks opinion of such as dye before Circumcision . 178 Their duty towards their Neighbour . 179 Scolding or Fighting how punish'd . 180 A Story of a French Slave , and the civility of his Turkish Master . 181 The Civility of some Turkish Merchants to the Author . 182 Their times of publick Prayer . 183 How they are called thereto . 184 A Tragical story of a Greek boy . 185 The Ablutions of the Turks in general . 186 Their Baths . 187 Their too frequent use prejudicial . 188 Their manner of washing and scrubbing . 190 The cleanliness of the Turks . 192 Their venerable esteem for Paper . 193 A merry story of a Mahometan . 194 The Turks Gouslu or Purification . 196 Their Abdest or Ablution . 197 A story of a Mahometan Heretick . 198 The colours worn in Turkie , and their veneration for Green. 200 The witty answer of Sha Abbas , Emperour of Persia , to the Grand Signor'● Embassador . 201 The Turks devout behaviour during Prayer time . 202 The Discourse of a Greek Christian with the Author . 203 The Relation and Draught of the severl postures used by the Turks during Prayer . 205 Some of their Prayers . 206 What they do after Prayers . 208 Of their Mosquees or Temples . 209 The Description of Sultan Achmet's Mosquee . 210 A Draught of its Elevation and Platform . 214 The description of Sultan Soliman's Mosquee . 215 A Draught of the Elevation of the Solimany 219 A Draught of its Platform . 221 The description of Validea's Mosquee . 223 Its Draught . 226 The North East Wind dangerous to Constantinople . 225 The Relation of a great Shipwrack . 227 The East and West Wind most troublesome to the Ships in Harbour . 228 Number of Mosquees in Constantinople and Turkey . 229 A pleasant story of a Dervich . 230 Mahometan Ecclesiastical Officers . 231 Their Hospitals and Fountains . 233 Their Courts of Iustice. 234 Several Crimes , how punish'd . 235 A pleasant story of an Antiochian Merchant . 236 Employments of the Turks . 239 Their Cookery . 240 A saying of Alexander the Great . ibid. The advantage the Turks reap by their temperance . 241 They prefer a Supper to a Dinner . ibid. Their Architecture . 242 Their degeneracy from their Ancestors . ibid. The Conclusion . 243 ADVERTISEMENTS . VADE MECVM , or the Necessary Companion : Containing , 1. Sir Samuel Morland's Perpetual Almanack , readily shewing the Day of the Month , and Moveable Fe●sts and Terms , for any year past , present or to come , curiously graved in Copper ; with Tables of the Fixed Terms , Feasts and Remarkable Days ; Suns Rising , Setting , and Place ; Moons Changes and Place , Time of High-water , Principal Fairs in England and Wales , Length of Days and Nights , with other useful things . 2. The Years of each King's Reign from the Norman Conquest compar'd with the Years of Christ. 3. Directions for every Month in the Year , what is to be done in the Orchard , Kitchen , and Flower-Gardens . 4. The Reduction of Weights , Measures , and Coins , wherein is a Table of the Assize of Bread. 5. A Table wherein any Number of Farthings , Half-pence , Pence , or Shillings , are ready cast up ; of great use to all Traders . 6. The Interest and Rebate of Money ; the Forbearance , Discompt , and Purchase of Annuites . 7. The Rates of Post-Letters , both ●nland and Outland . 8. The Principal Roads in England , shewing the Distance of one Town from another in measured and computed Miles , and the Distance of each from London ; also the Market-Townes on each Road , with the Days of the Week the Markets are kept on ; as likewise the Hundred and County each Town stands in . 9. The Names of the Counties , Cities , and Borough-Towns in England and Wales , with the number of Knights , Citizens , and Burgesses chosen therein to serve in Parliament . 10. The usual and Authorized Rates or Fares of Coachmen , Carmen , and Water-men . The Third EDITION , much enlarged , and Printed in a long Octavo , like the ordinary Paper-pocket-books , price 2 s. TABLES of EXCISE for Strong and Small Beer , Ale , Cider , Coffee , Chocolate , Tea , and Sherbet , according to the present Establishment ; also Tables to reduce Gallons into Beer or Ale Barrels and Firkins ; likewise an Abstract of all the Duties enjoyn'd , Penalties inflicted , and what else is chiefly contain'd in the Laws of Excise . The 2 d Edition , whereto is added Mr. Mayne's and Mr. Walker's Tables for Ganging . Twelves ▪ Price 1 s. Both sold by Thomas Passinger at the Three Bibles on London-bridge , and Iohn Playford , in Little-Britain . THe Doctrine of INTEREST both Simple and compound , explain'd in a more exact and satisfactory method than has hitherto been published , discovering the Errors of the ordinary Tables of Rebate for Annuites at Simple Interest ; and containing Tables for the Interest and Rebate of Money for Days , Months , and Years , both at simple and compound Interest : Also Tables for the Forbearance , Discompt , and Purchase of Annuities ; all exactly calculated ; As likewise Equation of Payments made practicable and useful for all Merchants and others . Together with divers other useful Reflections . Humbly presented to the King 's most excellent Majesty , by Sir Samuel Morland Knight and Barronet . Octavo . Price 3 s. Sold by Robert Bolter at the Turks-Head in Cornhill . THe History of the most unfortunate Prince King Edward the Second , with Political Observations on Him and his unhapy Favourites Gaveston and Spencer ; written by the Right Honourable Henry Lord Viscount Faulkland , Price bound 1 s. ENgland's Black Tribunal , set forth in the Tryal of King Charles the First , by a pretended High-Court of Justice , Ian. 30. 1648. with his Speech on the Scaffold ; together with the Dying-speeches of the Nobility and Gentry who were Inhumanly murder'd for their Loyalty , viz. the Earl of Strafford , Dr. Laud Archbishop of Canterbury , Duke Hamilton , Earl of Darby , Marquess of Montross , Sir Henry Hide , Sir Henry Slingsby , Collonel Penruddock , Collonel Gerrard , Collone● Andrews , Dr. Hewit , and others . The price bound 2 s. WIt and Mirth , an Antidote against Melancholy , compounded of new ingenious Poems , witty Ballads , and new and pleasant Songs and Catches ; newly Reprinted with several Additions . Price bound 1 s. 6 d. A Second Part to the Antidote against Melancholy , contaning merry Tales , witty Ie●●s and Bulls , Price bound 1 s. THe Christian Mans Duty , delivered in a Sermon in the Temple Church , by R. Ball , D. D. and Master of the Temple . Price 6 d. THe whole Book of Psalms put into English Metre , all to be Sung to the common Tunes used in Parish Churches ; by the Reverend Henry King , late Lord Bishop of Chichester , either for publick use in Church , or in private Families . The Price bound 2 s. THe Psalms of David , and other Sacred Hymns , according to the Common Tunes sung in Parish Churches , composed in Four parts in Folio . Price 2 s. 6 d. THe Psalms in Metre , as they are sung in all Parish Churches , with the proper Tune to every Psalm ; composed in three Parts , viz. Cantus , Medius , and Bassus , in a small Volume , convenient for to carry in the Pocket to Church . The price bound 3 s. A Brief Introduction to the skill of Musick , both Vocal and Instrumental , together with the Art of Composing Musick in parts , by I. Playford , in Octavo . Price Bound 2 s. THe Musical Companion , containing variety of New Catches and Rounds of three and four Parts ; also choice Songs , Ayres , and Dialogues , of two , three , and four Parts , in Quarto . Price bound 3 s. 6 d. MVsicks Recreation on the Lyra-Viol , containing new Ayres , Tunes , and Lessons , with Instructions for Learners . The Price stitcht 2 s. THe Dancing-Master , or plain and ea●ie Rules to dance Country Dances , with the proper Tunes to each Dance to play on the Treble Violin . The price Bound 2 s. 6 d. MVsicks Handmaid , containing new Lessons for the Harpsichord and Virginals , newly Reprinted , with Additions of plain and easie Rules for Beginners to play from the Book , all engraven on Copper Plates . The Price 2 s. 6 d. THe Pleasant Companion , containing new Ayres and Tunes for the Flagelet , with plain Instructions for Learners . The Price Bound 1 s. 6 d. APollo's Banquet , a Book of Tunes for the Treble-Violin , containing variety of new Ayres , and Theater-Tunes and Iiggs ; to which is added , the proper Tunes to the French Dances , as they are in use at Court and Dancing-Schools : All which Tune●●ay be performed upon the Recorder or Flute . Price 1 s. 6 d. THe Delightful Companion , Containing new Lessons and Instructions for the Flute or Recorder . Price 1 s. 6 d. All these are to be ●old at Iohn Playford's Shop near the Temple-Church . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A42086-e1390 Fig. 1. 10 Sols make an English Shilling , and 12 Blanks a Sols . Lampsacus . Magnesia . Myus . Gallipoli . Fig. I. Cyzicum . Nice . Apanea . Nicomedia . Chalcedon . Rodosto . Perinthus . Isles of Marmara . Iles of the Princes . Fig. II. * Rather Manasses Fig. III. Fig. IV. * Note that the measures ▪ in this Book are French. * The toise de charpentier is five Foot and a half The petit pied is some inchesless than the Carpenters foot . 〈◊〉 . VI. * or two French Crowns and a half . Fi. VIII . Fig. IX . Baptisme Order Penitence . Eucharist . Marriage . * This word is mistaken in the foregoing Pages and Printed Hecher . See the form of them in Petronius Arbiter . Fig. X. See Fig. VIII . Notes for div A42086-e38600 Fig. I. Fig. II. Fig. III. Fig. IV. Fig. V. Fig. VI. Fig. VII . Fig. VIII Fig. IX . Fig. X. Fig. XI . Fig. XII . F. XIII . F. XIV . 
A66741	----	Wit and drollery joviall poems / corrected and much amended, with new additions, by Sir J.M. ... Sir W.D. ... and the most refined wits of the age. 1661 Approx. 339 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 152 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A66741 Wing W3132 ESTC R38723 17947658 ocm 17947658 106766 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A66741) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 106766) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1112:2) Wit and drollery joviall poems / corrected and much amended, with new additions, by Sir J.M. ... Sir W.D. ... and the most refined wits of the age. Phillips, John, 1631-1706. E. M. J. M. [6], 263 [i.e.271], [24] p. Printed for Nathanial Brook ..., London : 1661. Preface signed (prelim. p. [6]): E.M. This work is based on a 1656 edition which was edited by John Phillips. Cf. BM. Error in paging: p. 97-104 repeated in numbering only. Advertisements: [24] p. at end. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Humorous poetry, English -- Early works to 1800. 2002-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Wit and Drollery , IOVIALL POEMS : Corrected and much amended , with ADDITIONS , By Sir I. M. Ia. S. Sir W. D. I. D. and the most refined Wits of the Age. Ut Nectar Ingenium . LONDON , Printed for Nath. Brook , at the Angel in Cornhil , 1661. Courteous Reader , I Present thee with Wit and Drollery , truly calculated for the Meridian of mirth ; the once exalted Scene is at this present level'd , other Poems have come forth in such throngs , that our English world is satiated with them , especially as they have been lately stuffed with reiterated Hyperboles , or else other more pitiful whining passions of Love , such as ingenuous persons , cannot have the patience continually to be afflicted with . Reader , to give thee a broad-side of plain dealing , this Wit I present thee with , is such as can only be in fashion , invented purposely to keep off the violent assaults of Melancholly , assisted by the additional Engines , and Weapons of Sack and good company : as for those graver sort of people , who are contented to read old Bembo , with his Beard down to his Girdle , I wish them a good digestion of their studies ; these Poems are not for their gust● , they are a Heaven higher ; as jovial , as clear , and as lusty , as those that writ them ; such verbal harmony , being as pleasing to the fancies , as the most delightful Aires of Musick are to the eare . Not to be tedious , or to deceive the Reader with a belief of what is not , these Poems reprinted , with additions are collected from the best Wits , of what above 20. years since , were begun to be preserved , for mir●h and friends ; the fear of having some of them imperfectly set forth , hath , though unwillingly , made them common . What hath not been extant of Sir I. M. of Ia. S. of Sir W. D. of I. D. and other miraculous Muses of the Times , are here at thy Service , and as Webster at the end of his Play call'd the White Devil , subscribes , that the action of Perkins crown'd the whole Play , so when thou viewest the Title , and readest the sign of Iohnson's head , on the back-side of the Exchange , and the Angel in Cornhil , where they are sold , inquire who could better furnish the with such sparkling copies of Wit than those that have bin so long courted for them ; there are two or three copies crept in among the rest , as the ordinary sort of people croud in at the audience of an Embassador , which may at thy discretion be permitted to stay , or be put out ; though they are good , yet not to be indured , as they are old . I have no more to acquaint thee with , but that good Drollery is not so loose , or of so late an invention , but that the most serious Wits have thought themselves honoured to own them . Bidding thee farewell . E. M. WIT AND DROLLERY OR JOVIAL POEMS The Preface to that most elaborate piece of Poetry Entituled Penelope Ulisses . NO I protest , not that I wish the gaines To spoile the trade of mercenary braines . I am indiffrently bent , so , so , Whether I ever tell my works or no. Nor was 't my aime when I took pen in fingers , To take imployment for the Ballad singers . Nor none of these but on a gloomy day , My genius step to me , and thus gan say . Listen to me , I give you information , This History deserves a grave translation ; And if comparisons be free from flanders , I say as well as Hero and Leanders . This said , I took my chair in colours wrought , Which at an outcry with two stooles I bought . The stools of Dornix , which that you may know well , Are certain stuffs , Upholsters use to sell. Stuffs , said I ? no , some Linsey-Wolsey-monger mixt them , They were not stuff nor Cloth sure , but betwixt them . The ward I bought them in , it was without Hight Faringdon , and their a greasy lout Bid for them shilling six , but I bid seven , A summe that is accounted odd , not even : The Cryer thereat seemed to be willing , Quoth he ther 's no man better then seven shiling . He though it was a reasonale price , So struck upon the Table , once twice , thrice . My pen in one hand my pen-knife in the other , My Ink was good , my paper was none other . So sat me down , being with sadness moved , To sing this new Song , sung of old by Ovid. But would you think , as I was thus preparing All in a readiness , here and there staring To find my implements , that the untoward Elfe , My Muse shall steal away , and hide her self ? Just so it was , faith , neither worse nor better , Away she run er'e I had writ a Letter . I after her apace , and beat the bushes , Rank Grass , Firrs , Ferne , and the tall banks of rushes . At last I found my Muse , and wot you what , I put her up , for lo she was at squat . Thou slut quoth I , hadst thou not run away , I had made verses all this live-long day . But in good sooth , or'e much I durst not chide her , Lest she should run away again and hide her . But when my heat was or'e , I speak thus to her Why did'st thou play the wag ? I 'm very sure I have commended thee above ould Chaucer ; And in a Tavern once I had a Sawcer Of Whit-wine Vinegar , dasht in my face , For saying thou deservest a better grace , Thou knowst that then I took a Sawsedge up , Upon the knaves face it gave such a clap , That he repented him that he had spoken Against thy fame , he struct by the same token . I often have sung thy Meeters , and sometimes , I laugh to set on others at thy rimes . When that my Muse considered had this geare , She sigh'd so sore , it greiv'd my heart to hear . She said she had don ill , and was not blameless ' And Polyhymnie ( one that shall be nameless , Was present when she spoke it ) and before her , My Muses lamentation was the soarer . And then to shew she was not quite unkinde , She sounded out these strong lines of her minde . The Inovation of Vlysses and Penelope . O All ye (1) Cliptick Spirits of the Sphaeres That have or (2) sense to hear or (3) use of eares , And you in number (4) twelve Caelestiall Signes That Poets have made use of in their lines , And by which men do know what seasons good To gueld their Bore-piggs , , and let Horses blood List to my doleful tone , O (5) list I say , Unto the complaint of Penelope . She was a lover , I , and so was hee As loving unto her , and he to (6) she : But mark how things were alter'd in a moment Ulysses was a Graecian born , I so ment To have inform'd you first , but since 't is or e , It is as (7) well , as had it been before : He being as I said as Greek there rose A Quarrel 'twixt the Trojans and their (8) foes , I mean the Graecians , whereof he was (9) one , But let that pass , he was Laertes Son. Yet least some of the difference be ignorant , It was about a (1) Wench , you may hear more (2) on 't In Virgils Aeneids , and in Homer too ; How Paris lov'd her , and no more adoe But goes and steales her from her Husband : wherefore The Graecians took their tooles , and fighted therefore . And that you may perceive they were stout (3) Signiors , The Combat lasted for the space of ten (4) years . This Gallant bideing where full many a Mother Is oft bereav'd of Child , Sister of Brother , His Lady greatly longing for his presence (5) Writ him a Letter , whereof this the Sence . " My prety Duck , my pigsnie my Ulysses , " Thy poor Penelope sends a (6) thousand Kisses " As to her only Ioy a hearty greeting , " Wishing thy company , but not thy meeting " With enemies , and fiery spirits in Armour , " And which perchance may do thy body harme-or " May take thee Prisoner , and clap on thee bolts " And locks upon thy legges , such as weare Colts . " But send me word , and er'e that thou want Ransome " Being a man so comely , and so handsome , " I l'e sell my Smock both from my back and (7) belly " E're you want mony , meat , or Cloathes , I tell yee . When that Ulysses , all in greif enveloped . Had markt how right this Letter was Peneloped . Laid one hand on his heart , and said 't was guilty , Resting the other on his Dagger-hilty , Thus gan to speak : O thou that dost controule All beauties else , thou hath so bang'd my soul With thy lamentation , that I swear , I love thee strangely , without wit or fear ; I could have wish'd ( quoth he , ) my self the Paper Ink , Standish , Sandbox , or the burning Taper , That were the Instruments of this thy writing Or else the stool whereon thou sat'st inditing : And so might have bin neer that lovely breech That never yet was troubled with the (8.) Itch. And with the thought of that , his Sorrow doubled His heart with wo , was so Cuff'd and Cornubled , That he approv'd one of his Ladyes Verses , ( The which my Author in his book rehearses ) 'T is true quoth he , (9) Loves troubles make me tamer , Res est Soliciti plena timoris Amor. This said , he blam'd himself , and chid his folly For being so ore-rul'd with mellancholly , He call'd himself , Fool , Coxecombe , Asse , and Fop , And many a scurvy name he reckon'd up . But to himself , this language was too rough , For certainly the man had wit enough : For he resolves to leave his Trojan foes , And go to see his love in his best Cloaths . But marke how he was cross'd in his intent , His friends suspected him incontinent : And some of them suppos'd he was in love , Because his eyes all in his head did move , Or more or less then used , I know not which But I am sure they did not move so mich As they were wont to do : and then 't was blasted , Ulysses was in love and whilst that lasted No other newes within the Camp was spoke of , And many did suppose the match was broke off . But he conceal'd himself , nor was or'e hasty To shift his Cloathes , though now grown somewhat nasty . But having wash'd his hands in Pewter Bason , Determins for to get a Girle or a Son , On fair Penelope , for he look'd trimmer Then yong Leander when he learn'd his (1.) Primer , To Graece he wends apace , for all his hope Was only now to to see fair Penelope : She kemb'd her head , and wash'd her face in Creame And pinch'd her cheeks to make the (2.) red blood stream She don'd new Cloaths , and sent the old ones packing And had her shoes rub'd over with Lamp (3.) blacking , Her new rebato , and a falling band , And Rings with several posies on her hand . A stomacher upon her breast so bare , For Strips and Gorgets was not then the weare ▪ She thus adorn'd to meet her youthful Lover Heard by a Post-boy , he was new come over : She then prepares a banquet very neat (4) Yet there was not bit of Butchers meat But Pyes , and Capons , Rabbits , Larkes and Fruit ; Orion an a Dolphin , with his (5.) Harp And in the midst of all these dishes stood A platter of Pease-porridge , woundrous good , And next to that the God of Love was plac'd , His Image being made of Rye-past , To make that good which the old Proverb speaks [ The one the Heart , tother the belly breaks . ] Ulysses seeing himself a welcome Guest Resolves to have some Fidlers at the Feast : And 'mongst the various consort choosing them . That in their sleeves the armes of Agamem - Non , in the next verse , wore : Cry'd in a rage Sing me some Song made in the Iron Age. The Iron-Age , quoth he that used to sing ? This to my minde the Black-Smith's Song doth bring The Black-Smiths , quoth Ulysses ? and there holloweth , Whoope ! is there such a Song ? Let 's ha 't . It followeth , The Black-Smith . As it was sung before Ulysses and Penelope at their Feast , when he returned from their Trojan Warrs , collected out of Homer , Virgill and Ovid , by some of the Modern Family of the Fancies . OF all the trades that ever I see , Ther 's none with the Blacksmith compar'd may be , With so many several tooles works hee Which Nobody can deny , The first that ever thunderbolt made , Was a Cyclops of the Black Smiths trade , As in a learned author is said , Which Nobody can deny When thundringly we lay about The fire like lightening flasheth out ; Which suddainly with water wee d'out . Which Nobody can deny The fayrest Goddess in the Skies , To marry with Vulcan did devise Which was a Black-smith grave and wise Which no body can deny . Mulciber to do her all right Did build her a town by day and by night , Which afterwards he Hammersmith hight Which no body can deny . And that no Enemy might wrong her He gave her Fort , she need no stronger , Then is the Lane of Ironmonger , Which no body can deny . Vulcan farther did acquaint her That a pretty Estate he would appoint her , And leave her Seacoale-lane for a joynter . Which nobody can deny . Smithfeild he did free from dirt , And he had sure great reason for 't It stood very neare to * Venus Which nobody can deny . But after in good time and ride , It was to the Black Smiths rectified , And given'm by Edmond Ironside , Which nobody can deny . At last * he made a Net , or traine , In which the God of warre was t'ane , Which ever since was call'd Pauls-chaine Which nobody can deny . The common Proverb , as it is read , That we should hit the nayle o' the head : Without the Black Smith cannot be said , Which nobody can deny There is another must not be forgot Which falls unto the Black Smiths lot That we should strike while the I'rons hott , Which nobody can deny . A third lyes in the Black Smiths way When things are safe as old-wives say , They hav'em under lock and key , Which nobody can deny ▪ Another Proverb makes me laugh Because the Smith can challenge but half ; When things are as plain as a Pike staffe , Which nobody can deny ▪ But'tother half to him does belong ; And therefore do the Smith no wrong , When one is held to it hard , buckle and thong , Which nobody can deny . Then there is a whole one proper and fit And the Blacksmith's Iustice is seen in it , When you give a man Rostmeat and beat him with Spitt , Which nobody can deny . Another Proverb does seldome faile , When you meet with naughty beere or ale , You cry it is as dead as a dore nayle , Which nobody can deny . If you stick to one when fortunes wheele Doth make him many losses feele We say such a friend is as true as steele . Which nobody can deny . Ther 's one that 's in the Blacksmith's books , And from him alone for remedy looks . And that is he that is off o' th hooks . Which no body can deny . Ther 's ner ' a slut , if filth over-smutch her But owes to the Blacksmith for her leatcher : For without a payr of tongues no man will touch her . Which no body can deny . There is a Law in merry England ●n which the Smith has some command When any one is burnt in the hand ; Which no body can deny . Banbury ale a half-yard-pott , The Devil a Tinker dares stand to 't ; If once the tost be hizzing-hot . Which no body can deny . If any Taylor has the itch , Your Blacksmith's water , as black as pitch , Will make his fingers go thorow-stich . Which no body can deny . A Sullen-woman needs no leech , Your Blacksmiths Bellowes restores her speech And will fetch her again with wind in her breech . Which no body can deny . Your snuffling Puritans do surmise , That without the Blacksmiths mysteries , St. Peter had never gotten his Keyes , Which no body can deny . And further more there are of those That without the Blacksmiths help do suppose St. Dunstan had never tane the Divel by the nose . Which nobody can deny . And though they are so rigid and nice And rayle against Drabs , and drink and dice Yet they do allow the Black Smiths vice Which nobody can deny . Now when so many Haeresies fly about , And every sect growns more in doubt The Black Smith he is a hamering it out , Which nobody can deny ▪ Though Serjants at law grow richer far , And with long pleading a good cause can marr● Yet your Black Smiths take more pains at th● Barr , Which nobody can deny ▪ And though he has no commander's look Nor can brag of those he hath slain and took , Yet he is as good as ever strooke , Which nobody dan deny ▪ For though he does lay on many a blow It ruines neither friend nor foe ; Would our plundring-souldiers had done so , Which every one can deny ▪ Though Bankrupts lye lurking in their holes And laugh at their Creditors , and catchpoles , Yet your Smith can fetch 'em over the coales . Which nobody can deny ▪ Our lawes do punish severely still , Such as counterfit , deed , bond , or bill , But your Smith may freely forge what he wil● Which nobody can deny . To be a Jockey is thought a fine feat , As to traine up a horse , and prescribe him his meat Yet your Smith knowes best to give a heat . Which nobody can deny . The Roring-Boy who every one quailes And swaggers , & drinks , and sweares and railes , Could yet never make the Smith eat his nailes . Which nobody can deny . Then if to know him men did desire , They would not scorn him but ranck him higher ●or what he gets is out of the fire . Which nobody can deny . ●hough Ulysses himself has gon many miles And in the warre has all the craft & the wiles , ●et your Smith can sooner double his files . Which nobody can deny . ●●yst thou so , quoth Ulysses , and then he did call ●or wine to drinke to the Black-Smiths all , And he vowed it should go round as a Ball Which no body should deny . ●nd cause he had such pleasure t'ane , ●t this honest fidlers merry straine , ●e gave him the Horse-Shoe in Drury-lane Which nobody can deny . Where his posterity ever since ●re ready with wine , both Spanish and French , ●or those that can bring in another Clench Which nobody can deny . The Song being done they drank the health , they rose They wo'd in verse , and went to bed in prose . Loyalty confin'd . BEat on proud Billowes , Boreas Blow , Swell curled Waves , high as Iove's roof , Your incivility doth shew , That innocence is tempest proof . Though surely Nereus frown , my thoughts ar● calme ▪ Then strike affliction , for thy wounds are balm . That which the world miscalls a Goale , A private Closet is to me , Whilst a good Conscience is my Baile , And innocence my Liberty : Locks Barres and solitude together met , Make me no Prisoner but an Anchorit . I whil'st I wish'd to be retir'd Into this private room , was turn'd , As if their wisdomes had conspir'd , The Salamander should be burn'd . Or like those sophies who would drown a Fish ▪ So I 'me condemn'd to suffer what I wish . The Cynick hugs his poverty , The Pelican her wilderness , And 't is the Indians pride to be Naked on frozen Caucasus . Contentment cannot smart , Stoicks we see Make torments easie to their Apathy . ●hese Menacles upon my Arm , ●as my Mistris's favours weare ; ●nd for to keep my Ankles warme , ●have some Iron Shackles there . These walls are but my Garrison ; this Cell Which men call Goal , doth prove my Cittadel . So he that strook at Iasons life , ●hinking he had his purpose sure : ●y a malitious friendly knife , ●id only wound him to a cure . Malice I see wants wit , for what is meant , Mischief oft-times proves favour by th' event . ●m in this Cabinet lockt up , ●ike some hig-prized Margaret , ●r like some great Mogul or Pope , ●re cloystered up from publick sight . Retirement is a piece of Majesty , And thus proud Sultan , I 'me as great as thee . ●ere sin for want of food must starve , Where tempting objects are not seen ; ●nd these strong Walls do only serve , ●o keep Vice out , and keep me in . Malice of late's growne charitable sure , I 'me not Committed , but I 'm kept secure . When once my Prince affliction hath , Prosperity doth Treason seem ; And for to smooth so rough a Path , I can learn Patience from him . Now not to suffer , shews no Loyal heart , When Kings want ease , Subjects must learn 〈◊〉 sma● Have you not seen the Nightingale , A Pilgrim koopt into a Cage , How doth she chant her wonted tale , In that her narrow hermitage . Even then her charming melody doth prove , That all her boughs are trees , her Cage a gro● My soul is free as the ambient aire , Although my baser part 's immur'd , Whilest Loyal thoughts do still repair , 'T accompany my Solitude . And though immur'd , yet I can chirp and sing Disgrace to Rebels is glory to my King. What though I cannot see my King , Neither in his Person or his Coyne , Yet contemplation is a thing , That renders what I have not mine . My King from me , what Adamant can part , Whom I weare engraven on my heart . I am that Bird whom they combine , Thus to deprive of Liberty ; But though they do my Corps confine , Yet maugre hate , my soul is free . Although Rebellion do my body bind , My King can only captivate my mind . A SONG . THe Pangs of Love growes sore growes sore And so mine one Lady told me , I loved a bonny lass well , Well and she hath forsaken me . I loved her well and dellicate well , I told her my mind as I might , She bid me love where I would Hay hay and went away out of my sight . I thought my Love had been as true to me , As the grass that grows on the ground , But now she proved the contrary , She is as good lost as found . I thought my Love had been a Virgin pure , When to her my Love I betook , She went with child by a Gentleman And married a greasy Cook. But I doe beshrow her Cheekes and her chin And so do I beshrow her face Her cherry red Lipps with a hay hay And her flattering Tongue within . And I doe beshrew her goodly gray eyes So do I her apparel and pride For now my land 's gon with a hay hay , My love she looks all a one side . And if I live another year As God may give me grace I 'le buy her a glass of decitfull water To wash her dissembling face . A SONG in praise of noble Liquor . COme hither zealous brothers , And leave your disputation : I will recount where is a fount , That leads to mitigation : The vertue of which Liquor , Being taken with replation , Will clear your eyes and make you wise , And fill you with discretion And it is call old Sack old Sack ▪ ●is Phisick good and Diet , To cure the man call'd Puritan And make him sleep in quiet . No frantick strange opinion Doth from this Fountain bubble Nor Puritan that Scripture scan The Church and State to trouble ●rom Renish White and Claret This runs of generation Which fills the Realme with filthy fleame Of strife and alteration Then let them drink old Sack old Sack. He is wiser then the fathers No counsel can command him He burnes with zeale the common weale No Cannon can withstand him His privie quese informes him . All other men do wonder Fill him with drink and then I think He will recant the slaunder And let it be old Sack old Sack &c. A Surples more affrights him That smells of superstition Then twenty Smocks or nether Stocks To tender his submission Besides his holy Sister He loves no female Creature But when he is drunk , he will kiss a punke And tender his good nature And then let him drink old Sack old Sack. His head no reason enters Nor he to be reclaimed His braines doth crack for want of Sack And thus his wits are maimed ; The only way to cure him If Sack will not collect him Must be the grate of Bishoppes gate Where mad Tom will expect him There let him drink old Sack old Sack. To the tune of Pip my Cock. ALas poor silly Barnaby how men do thee molest , In City Town and Countrey , they never let thee rest : For let a man be merry , at Even or at Morne , They will say that he is Barnaby , and laugh him for to scorn ; And call him drunken Barnaby when Barnaby is gone But can they not tend their drinking and let Barnaby alone . You City Dames so dainty that are so neat and fine That every day drinks plenty of spice and Claret wine , But you must have it burnt with ●ugar passing sweet They will not suffer Barnaby to walke a long the street , But call him drunken Barnaby when Barnaby is gone , Cannot you tend your Gosseping and let Barnaby alone . You Clerks and Lawyers costly , that are so fine & nice When you do meet so costly , with a cup of Ale and spice , You will take your Chamber , before you do begin Although you steale him privatly you count it is no sin , Though Barnaby stands open , in sight of every one What cannot you tend your drinking , and let Barnaby alone , But I have seen some Hostis , that have taken a pott , When her head runns giddy , she 'l call for a double shott , Although she gets her living by such kind of gests Shall mock , scoffe and deride me , as deeply as the rest , But call me drunken Barnaby when all my money is gon But cannot you look to their mault man and let Barnaby alone . A SONG . THe Blazing Star is soon burn'd out The Diamond light abide The one in glory shines about , The other yields light beside . That spark if any should be mine That else hath been unknown , But if to every he she shine I 'le rather lye alone . The Glow-worme in the dark gives light And to the view of many , The Moon she shews her self by night And yields her light to any . But if my Love should seem to be To every one so known , Shee never more shall shine to me , I 'le rather lie alone . I 'le not consume nor pine nor grieve , As other Lovers do , But such as beare a constant mind And will to me prove true , I will set as little by any she , As she by me hath done , I will love where is constancy Or else I will love none . A Willow Garland on my head , I ever mean to wear I need no pillow to my bed , I am clear void of care . A single life is without strife , And free from sighes and groanes Therefore I mean in longest night Ever to lie alone . Once I lov'd the fairest love That e're my eyes did see But she to me unconstant prov'd And set no love by me . And ever since my mind so tost I le lend no love to none , Because I have been thus much crost I le ever lie alone . A SONG . BEgon begon my Willy my Billy , Begon begon my dear , The weather is warm , T will do thee no harm , Thou canst not be lodged here . My Willy my Billy , my Hony my conny , My love my dove my dear , Oh oh , the wether is warm 'T will do thee no harm , Oh oh thou canst not be lodged here . Farewel farewel my Juggie my puggie , Farewel farewel my dear , Then will I be gone , From whence that I came , If I cannot be lodged here . My Juggie my puggie , my hony my cony , My love my dove my dear , Oh oh then will I begone From whence that I came , Oh oh if I cannot be lodged here . Return return my Willy my Billy Return my dove and my dear The wether doth change , Then seem it not strange Thou canst not be lodged here . My Willy my Billy , my hony my cony My love my dove my dear , Oh oh the wether doth change , Then seem it not strange Oh and thou shalt be lodged here . A SONG . Sweet at night shall I come to your bed fie no , You need not hazard your maidenhead why so Is not your will a law to restrain , yes yes What should make you then to refrain pish pish , Give me an answer grant my desire peace peace See see what harm it is thus to aspire cease cease . Fire unkind why flide you away hey ho Cannot my love alure you to stay no no Soon my life will end if you part tush tush , And this straite I 'le send to my heart push push , Farwel cruel thus I die hold hold , Hold me then with your reply , be bold be bold , Thus am I bold your armes to possess do do , And your lips I can do no less hun hun But my desire can linger no more alas alas , Fear not t was nothing stirrd the door t was t was , Thus by degrees I climb to aspire come come , An houre of bliss ( oh ) ner'e to be spent ha done ha done A SONG of his Mistress . MY mistriss is a Shuttle cok , Compos'd of cock and feather , Each battle doth play with her dock And bang her on the leather . One cannot suffice her fill But she rebounds to the other still , Fa la lanke down dilly . My mistress is a Tennis ball Her leather so smooth and fine , Shee 's often bang'd against the wall , And banded under line ; But he that means to win her will Must hit her in the hazard still , Fa la lanke down dilly . My mistress is a Nightingal So sweetly can she sing As fair as fine as Filomel A daughter for a King. For in the night and darkness thick She ●ongs to leane against a prick Fa la lanke down dilly . My mistress is a nettle sharp , And dangerous to finger A gallant wench and full of mettle I woose shee is a stinger , For if you do but touch her hips Ther 's no such liquor for your lips , Fa la , &c. My mistress is an Owle by night All day she keeps her bed For fear she should her beauty burn , And no man would her wed ; But be she fair or foul in sight She is as good as Hellen in the night Fa la lanke down dilly . My mistress is a moon so bright , Would God that I could win her , She loves to be sturring in the night And keep a man within her ; A man that were both prick and thornes Once a month shee 'l make him were hornes , Fa la lanke down Dilly . My mistress is a Tobaccopipe Soon burn'd and often broke , Shee carrieth fire in her brink That yieldeth forth no smoke If s●ee have not a clean skin Shee hath a rumy thing within , Fa la lanke down dilly . My mistress is a ship of warr Much shot discharged at her , Her Puppe receiveth many a scarr Oft driven by winde and water , Although she grapples at the last Shee sinks and striketh down the mast Fa la lanke down dilly . Why should I my mistress call An instrument a bable , A shuttle cock a Tenice ball A Ship of war unstabl'd Say but this and say no more Shee is a wanton and a hay ho. Fa la lanke down ●i●ly ▪ On Luce Morgan a Common-VV●ore . EPIGRAM . HEre lies black Luce that Pick-hatch drab , Who had a word for every stab , Was leacherous as any Sparrow Her Quiver ope to every arrow . Wer't long , or short , or black , or white , She would be sure to noch it right . Wer 't Lords or Knights , or Priests , or Squires , Of any sort except a Friers : A Friers shaft she lackt alone , Because England here was none . At last some Vestall fire she stole , Which never went out in her hole . And with that zealous fire being burn'd , Vnto the Romish faith she turn'd : And therein dy'd and was 't not fit , For a poor whore to dye in it , An Epitaph on a VVhore . IN this cold Monument lies one Which I knew who hath lain upon , The happier he whose sight might charm , And touch might keep King David warme . Lovely as is the dawning East , Was this Marbles frozen guest . As glorious and as bright as day . As oderiferous as May. As streight and slender as the Crest , Or Antler of the one beam'd Beast , Whome I admired as soon as I knew . And now her memory persue , With such a superstitious Lust , That I could fumble with her dust . She all perfections had , and more , Tempting , as if design'd an whore : For so she was , and some there are Whores , I could wish them all as faire . Courteous she was , and yong , and wise , And in her calling so precise ; That industry had made her prove , The sucking School-Mistress of Love. But Death , ambitious to become Her Pupil , left his gastly home : And seeing how we us'd her here , The raw-bone Raskal ravish'd her . Who pretty soul resign'd her breath , To practice Lechery with death . A mock-song . 1. OH Love , whose power and might No Creature ere withstood , Thou forcest me to write , Come turn about Robin-hood . 2. Sole Mistress of my heart , Let me thus farr presume , To make this request ; A black patch for the Rhume . 3. Grant pitty or I die , Love so my heart bewitches , With grief I houle and cry ; Oh how my Elbow Itches . 4. Teares overflow my eyes With flouds of daily weeping , That in the silent night , I cannot rest for sleeping 5. What is 't I would not doe To purchase one sweet smile ? Bid me to China goe , Faith I 'le sit still the while . 6. Oh women you will never , But think men still will flatter ; I vow I love you ever , But yet it is no matter . 7. Cupid is blind they say , But yet methinks he seeth ; He struck my heart to day , A Turd in Cupids teeth . 8. Her Tre●ses that were wrought , Much like the golden snare , My loving heart hath caught , As Mosse did catch his Mare . 9. But since that all reliefe , And comfort doe forsake me , ●'le kill my self with grief ; Nay then the Devill take me . 10 And since her grateful merits , My loving look must lack , ●'le stop my vitall spirits With Claret and with Sack. 11. Marke well my woful hap , Iove rector of the Thunder , Send down thy thunder-clap , And rend her smock in sunder . The Answer . 1. YOur Letter I receiv'd Bedect with flourishing quarters , Because you are deceiv'd , Goe hang you in your Garters . 2. My beauty which is none , Yet such as you protest , Doth make you sigh and groan : Fie , fie , you do but jest . 3. I cannot chuse but pitty Your restless mourneful teares , Because your plaints are witty , You may goe shake your eares . 4. To purchase your delight , No labour you shall leese , Your pains I will requite , ; Maid , go fetch him Bread and Cheese . 5. 'T is you I faine would see , 'T is you I daily think on ; My looks as kind shall be , As the Devills over Lincoln . 6. If ever I do tame Great Iove of lightnings flashes ; I 'le send my fiery flame , And burn thee into ashes . 7. I can by no meanes miss thee , But needs must have thee one day , I prethee come and kiss me , Whereon I sat on Sunday . In praise of his Mistrisses beauty . 1. I Have the fairest non-perel , The fairest that ever was seen , And had not Venus been in the way , She had been beauties Queen . 2. Her lovely looks , her comly grace , I will describe at large ; God Cupid put her in his books , And of this Jem took charge . 3. The Graecian Hellen was a Moore , Compar'd to my dear Saint , And fair fac'd Hyrens beauty poor , And yet she doth not paint . 4. Andromeda whom Perseus lov'd Was foule were she in sight , Her lineaments so well approv'd , In praise of her I 'le write . 5. Her haire not like the golden wire , But black as any Crow , Her browes so beetl'd all admire , Her forehead wondrous low . 6. Her squinting staring gogling eyes , Poor Children doe affright , Her nose is of the sarasens size ; Oh she 's a matchless wight . 7. Her Oven-mouth wide open stands , And teeth like rotten pease , Her Swan-like neck my heart commands , And brests all bit with Fleas . 8. Her tawny dugs like too great hills , Hang Sow-like to her wast , Her body huge like two wind-mills , And yet she 's wondrous chast . 9. Her shoulders of so large a breadth , Shee 'd make an excellent Porter And yet her belly caries most , If any man could sort her . 10. No Shoulder of Mutton like her hand , For broadness , thick and fat , With a pocky Mange upon her wrist ; Oh Iove ! how love I that ? 11. Her belly Tun-like to behold , Her bush doth all excel , The thing that by all men extol'd , Is wider then a well . 12. Her brawny buttocks plump and round , Much like a Horse of Warre , With speckled thighs , scab'd and Scarce sound ; Her knees like bakers are . 13. Her leggs are like the Elephants , The Calfe and small both one , Her anckles they together meet , And still knock bone to bone . 14. Her pretty feet not 'bove fifteens , So splay'd as never was , An excellent Usher for a man That walks the dewy grass . 15. Thus have you heard my Mistriss prais'd , And yet no flattery us'd , Pray tell me , is she not of worth ? Let her not be abus'd . 16. If any to her have a minde , He doth me woundrous wrong For as she 's Beautious so she 's Chast , And thus conclude my Song . A SONG . 1. WHen yong folkes first begin to love , And undergoe that tedious taske , It cuts and scowres throughout the powers Much like a running glass . 2. It is so full of sodain joyes Proceeding from the Heart , So many tricks , and So many toyes , And all not worth a Fart . 3. For Venus loved Vulcan , Yet she would lye with Mars , If these be honest tricks my love , Sweet love come kisse mine — 4 ▪ If that which I have writ , Be unmannerly in speech , Yet when occasion serves to shite , Will serve to wipe your breech 5. Thus kindly and in Courtesie , These few lines I have written , And now O love come kiss mine — For I am all beshitten . A Song of the Sea-men and Land-souldiers . 1. WE Sea-men are the bony-boyes , That feare no stormes nor Rocks , Whose Musick is the Cannons nose , Whose sporting is with knocks a. 2. Mars has no Children of his own , But we that fight on Land a ; Land-Souldiers Kingdomes up have blown Yet they unshaken stand a. 3. 'T is brave to see a tall Ship saile , With all her trim gear on a. As though the Devill were in her taile , She fore the wind will run a. 4. Our maine battalia when it moves , Ther 's no such glorious thing a , Where leaders like so many Ioves Abroad their thunder fling a. 5. Come let us reckon what Ships are ours , The Gorgon and the Dragon , The Lyon that in fight is bold , The Bull with bloody flag on . 6. Come let us reckon what works are ours , Forts , Bulwarks , Barricadoes , Mounts , Gabions , Parrapits , Countermurs , Casemates and Pallisadoes . 7. The Bear , the Dog , the Fox , the Kite , That stood fast on the Rover , They chas'd the Turke in a day and night , From Scandaroon to Dover . 8. Field-pieces , Muskets , Groves of Pikes , Carbines and Canoneers a , Squadrons , half Moons , with Rankes and Files ▪ And Fronts , and Vans , and Reers a. 9. A Health to brave Land-Souldiers all , Let Cans a piece goe round a , Pell-mell let 's to the Battaile fall , And lofty mu●ick sound a. A Song . MY dear and onely love take heed , How thou thy self expose , And let no longing Lovers feed , On such like looks as those , I 'le Marble wall thee round about , Being built without a door : But if my love do once break out , I 'le never love thee more . Nor let their Oaths by volleys shot , Make any breach at all ; Nor smoothness of ther language plot Away to scale the wall , Nor balls of Wilde-fire Love consume , The shrine that I adore , For if such smoak about thee fume , I 'le never love thee more . Thy wishes are as yet too strong , To suffer by surprize , and victed with my love so long , Of force the siege must rise ; And leave thee in the strength of health , And state thou wert before : But if thou prove a common-wealth I 'le never love thee more . Or if by fraud , or by consent , My heart to ruine come , I 'le ne'r sound Trumpet as I meant , Nor march by beat of Drum : But fould mine Armes like Ensignes up , Thy falshood to deplore , And after such a bitter cup , I 'le never love thee more , Then doe by thee as Nero did , When Rome was set on fire , Not onely all reliefe forbid , But to a hill retire ; And scorne to shed a teare to save Such spirits grown so poor , But laugh and sing thee to thy grave , And never love thee more . A SONG . 1. WHen Phoebus address'd his course to the West , And took up his rest below , And Cynthia agreed in a glittering weed , Her light in his stead to bestow . Travel'd alone , attended by none , Till sodainly I heard one cry ; Oh doe not , doe not kill me yet , For I am not prepared to dye . 2. With that I came nere , to see and to hear , And there did appeare a show ; The Moon was so bright , I saw such a sight , Not fit that each wight should know . A Man and a Maid together were laid , And ever she cry'd Oh fie ! Oh doe not , doe not kill me yet , For I am not prepared to dye . 3. The young man was rough , and he took up he● stuffe , And to blind man buffe he would go ; Yet still she did cry , but still she did lye , And put him but by with a no : But she was so young , and he was so strong , Which made her still to cry , Oh doe not , doe not kill me For I am not prepared to dye . 4. With that he gave o're and swore , solemnly He would kill her no more that night , He bid her adue , for little he knew , She would tempt him to more delight , But being to depart it grieved her heart , Which made her loud to cry , Oh kill me , kill me once again , For now I am prepared to dye . A SONG . I Courted a Lasse , my folly was the cause of her disdaining ; I courted her thus , what shall I sweet Dolly , doe for thy dear loves obteining ? But another had dallied with this my Dolly , that Dolly for all her faining , Had got such a Mountain above her Valley , that Dolly went home complaining . Upon my Lord Majors day , being put off by reason of the Plague . IF you 'l but here me I shall tell , A sad mischance that late befel , for which the daies of old , ●n all new Almanacks must mourn , And Babes that never must be born , shall weep to hear it told . For loe the sport of that great day , ●n which the Major hath leave to play , and with him all the town ; His Flag , and drum , and Fife releas'd , And he forbid to goe a Feasting in his Scarlet Gown , No Fife must on the Thames be seen , To fright the Major , and please the Queen , nor any wild fire tost . Though he suppose the Fleet that late , Invaded us in eighty eight , o're matcht by his Gally foist . The Pageants , and the painted cost Bestowed on them , are all quite lost , for now he must not ride : Nor shall they sheare the Players tall , Being mounted on some mighty Whale , swims with him through Cheap-si● Guild-hal now must not entertain The Major , who there would feast his brain , with white broth and with He● Nor shall the Fencers act their Piggs , Before the Hinch-boyes which are Giggs , whipt out with all the me●● Nor must he go in State to swear , As he was wont at Westminster . no Trumpets at the Hal● Their clamorous voices there would stretch , As if the Lawyers they would teach , in their own Courts to ba●● But what in sooth is pitty most , Is for their Daughters they have lost , all joyes for which they pray Which scatter palmes on their cheeks , Which they had prim'd at least three weeks before against the day And 'mongst themselves they much complain , That this Lord Major in first of reign , should do them so much wrong As to suppress by message sad , The feast for which they all have had , Their March-pane dream so long . Thus for their beauteous sakes have I , Describ'd the daies large History , 't is true although not witty Which is deny'd , for I 'de be loath , To cut my coat , above my cloath , my Subject is the City . A Song by Sir John Suckling . OUt upon it , I have lov'd , three whole daies together , And perchance might love three more , if that it hold fair weather ; Time shall melt his wing away , e're he can discover In the whole wide world again , such a constant lover . But a pox upon 't , no praise there is due at all to me , Love with me had had no stay , had it any been but she Had it any been but she , and that very very face , There had been long time e're this , a dozen dozen in her place . The answer by the same Author . SAy , but did you love so long ? in sooth I need● must blame ye ▪ Passion did your judgement wrong , and want o● Reason shame ye ▪ Truth , Times fair and witty Daughter , quickly did discover , You were a subject fit for laughter , and more fooll then Lover ▪ Yet you needs must merit praise for your constant folly ▪ Since that you lov'd three whole daies , were yo● not melancholly ? She for whom you lov'd so true , and that very very face ▪ Puts each minute such as you , a dozen dozen to disgrace Upon an old Scold . IOve lay thy Majesty aside , and wonder To hear a voice in consort with thy thunder , Whilst thine with a shrill treble neatly graces , The roaring clamour of her deep-mouth`d basis ; Yet in each point , her nimble chops run on , The lubrick touches of division , And when her kindled thoughts , her tongue inspire , Instead of words , like Etna she spits fire : So in a word , ( to her eternal fame ) Shee 'l excercise thy thunder , and thy flame ; Old Time had pull'd her teeth out , but they 'r sprung Again , more sharp and active in her tongue . ●n her Malignant Aspect doth appear , The season of the Dog-dayes all the year . With her sowre look she might convert the Sea , And all the Elements to Curds and Whea . On a deformed old Woman ( whorish ) whome one was pleased to call the Phoenix . ARt thou the Phoenix ? I could rather swear , Thou art Callisto , chang'd into a Bear ; Or else thou then transformed but in part , And so laid by , halfe Bear , halfe Woman art , Or art thou Io , whome adulterate Iove , Long since , when thou wett beautiful did love : And jealous Iuno for thy crime hath now Chang'd thee into a foule mishapen Cow ; But thou the badge of thy disgrace now scornes And makes thy harmless Husband wear th● horne● He that can call thee Phoenix from his heart , Must needs be such another as thou art . Or he to sacred beauty had a spite , ( Like those that use to paint the Devil white ) And calling thee the Phoenix hath out-gone , All that revenge could e're think upon ; He had more truly spoke , and might with less Despight have call'd the Devil his Holiness . Should but thy picture be expos'd to sight , And under it the name of Phoenix write ; woo● They that ner'e knew what meant the Phoenix Straight swear by it , the Devil was understood . A Gentleman on his being trim'd by a Cobler . MY haire grown rude , and Gally's bridg● broke dow● Which dam'd my passage to Carmarthen Town Trim'd was I , I am sure , but by what Monster , If I describe him , you will hardly Conster : 'T is one whose foot is in the stirrup still Yet never rides , waxes each hour more ill Yet never mends ; can make a bad soul better , Yet no Divine , nor scarce doth know a letter . He 's alwaies sowing , yet ne'r useth needle , Put , folkes i' th stocks , yet is no beggars beadle fee. Mens legs he stretcheth often on a tree , Yet free from th' Gallows , and the Hangmans Let a Consumption some to skellitons wast , He will be sure to ease'um at the last , And yet is no Physitian , he 's still knocking , Yet breaks no peace , nor need his doors unlocking He alwaies sits , yet Table wants , and Carpet , ●ut looks like a scab'd Sheep , tane from a Tarpit . ●his lovely gallant , with his well pitcht thumbe , ●nd Leather apron on , my hide did-thrumb ; ●nd par'd my face , 't were worth the sight to have bin ●o see his oilely joynts about my chin . ●armarthen Barbers be not quite dismayed , ●hough Kit the Cobler undertake your trade ; ●Twas only done that his best friends might feel , ●ow perfect he is made from head to Heel . On Jack wiseman . ●Ack Wiseman brags his very name Proclaimes his wit , he 's much to blame , ●o do the Proverb so much wrong , ●hich saies he 's wise that holds his tongue ; ●hich makes me contradict the Schooles , ●nd apt to think the wise men fooles . Yet pardon Iack , I hear that now Thou' rt wed , and must thy wit allow , That by a strange aenigma can , Make a light Woman a Wiseman . Love blind , a Song . 1. LOve blind ? who saies so ? 't is a lye , I 'le not believe it , no not I ; If Love be blind how can he then Discerne to hit the hearts of men ? Yet pause a while it may be true , Or else hee 'd wound the womens too . 2. The Females only Scape ? nay then , The lad has got his eyes agen ; And yet methinks 't is strange that he should strike at randome thus , and see ; I' th' guiding still to fix his dart , And leave untoucht the stubborne heart . 3 , Love blind ? how can his darts surprize Our hearts then , piercing through our eyes ? Unless by secret power guided , Least he by us should be derided , It be the little Archers minde , To make us all as he is , blinde . The Anglers Song . ●'Th ' non-age of the Morn we got up , If plots had tane all night , w 'had sate up : How e're before the Sun took Coach , We were with Bream , and Pike , and Roach : ●ut if you 'd know how we thus earely ●ddrest to th'field , I 'le tell you squarely . Th' Alarum of a Watch ingages , ●nd doth provoke our stout courages : ●or that at houre of three wo'nt dally , ●o up we rose , and forth we sally . ●f Fish we mean a flat massacre , ●nd so we march o're many an Acre . ●nd that you mayn't our deeds misconster , ●ray wot you well , there is a monster ; Who with tyrannick power doth seize on , As greedy morttals feed on Peason ) Th' oppressed frie , he 's hight the Pike , Who often times doth lurke in Dyke . So on we go , and much we brag , ●hough each behind his fellow lag . ●s home we came , that in our dish What Proverb saith ( as mute as Fish ) You might have throwne : but this rare story , ●'le not so rudely lay before ye . But at preceeding points wee 'l touch , Though you perhaps will think to much ; But those I am resolv'd to give ye , Though I 'm voluminous as Livie . Of Dew there was a gallant draught , Which when the sun arose he quaft : But'cause he did not rise so soon , I' th' interim we had wet our shoon . When we came neer the place call'd Breach pond ( I wish that it had been in Duch-lond ) And that our fancies 'gan to gallop , A thick blue mist did us invellop : Which caus'd us to commit an error , But yet we march on without fear or Wit , untill that we arrive us , There where our fishing fate did drive us . But there we met with an ill Omen , For at the pond side there were some men ; Which were so bold as to cry pish , As Proverb saies , hee 'l catch no fish That swears ; which they did stoutly , As they did about the pond lye . These men some bottles of Canary , To keep the Mists and Damps did carry ; Although we did not ken a wight , Yet lovingly they us invite , That of there Sack wee 'd take a dish , Which was not brought to Fox the fish . We left them and betook our selves , With bates to Court the watry Elves ; There we did practise Arts most quaint , But rogish Fish they were so do daintty , that they would not bite , But all our pretious morsels slight ; Though divers of them cost much money , ( Amongst the rest was Loaf and Honey . ) We count the cost to ten pence sterling , All which into the pond we hurl in . The Proverb here should be inserted , But I am loath't should be inverted : Do what I can it needs will out , Lose a Fly , and catch a Trout . How e're this adage goes , we are far , From losing of a Hog for Tarre . So that 's on our side still I see , One Proverb that 's our , Enemy . For as we did our business handle , Our sport it was not worth the Candle . But to returne , the wind did bluster , So we came home all in cluster . Our heads hung down , our hands in pocket , And all our patience burn't to th' socket : Only by the way we tride our skill , But the same Planet govern'd still That rul'd i' th morne : so home we hide us , And blame those Planets which that day had spi'd us , W th blinking aspects , grurching our good fortune Though we most zealously did them importune . And the next day new sorrow administred , For all our feet were with our travell blistered . A SONG . 1. SHe lay all naked in her bed , And I my self lay by ; No Vail but Curtaines about her spread . No covering but I. Her head upon her shoulders seeks , To hang in careless wise , All full of blushes was her cheeks , And of wishes were her eyes . 2. The blood still fresh into her face , As on a message came , To say that in another place , It meant a nother game . Her cherry lips , moist , plump and faire , Millions of Kisses crown , Which ripe and uncropt dangled there , And weigh the branches down . 3. Her Breasts that swell'd so plump and high . Bred pleasant pain in me , For all the world I do defie , The like felicity . Her thighs and belly soft and faire , To me were only shewn , To have seen such meat , and not to have eat , Would have angred any stone . 4. Her knees lay upward gently bent , And all lay hollow under , As if on easie termes they ment , To fall unforc't asunder . Just so the Cyprian Queen did lye , Expecting in her bower ; When too long stay , had kept the boy , Beyond his promised houre . 5. Dull clown , quoth she , why dost delay Such proffered bless to take ? Canst thou find out no other way Similitude to make ? Mad with delight I thundering , Threw my Armes about her , But pox upon 't 't was but a dream , And so I lay without her . An answer , being a dreamed . 1. SHe lay up to the Navel bare , As was a willing Lover , Expecting between hope and fear , When I would come and cover . Her hand beneath my waste-band slips , To grope in busie wise , Which caused a trembling in her lips , And a shivering in her eyes . 2. The blood out of her face did goe , As it on service went , To second what was gone before , When all its strength was spent . Her Cheeks and lips as Coral redd , Like Roses were full blown : Which fading streight , the leaves were spread , And so the — comes down . 3. Her breasts that then both panting were , Such comfort wrought between us , That all the world I dare to swear , Would envy to have seen us . Her belly and its provinder , For me was kept in store ; Such news to hear , and not to have share , Would have made a man a Whore. 4. Her legs were girt about my waste , My hand under her Crupper , As who should say now break your face , And come again to supper . Even as the God of Warre did knock , As any other man will , For hast of work , till twelve a Clock , Kept Vulcan at his Anvil . 5. Mad wag , quoth she , why dost thou make Such hast thy self to reare ? Canst thou not know that for thy sake , The Fair lasts all the year ? Quiet and calme as are loves streames , I threw my self about her , But a pox upon true jests and dreames , I had better have laine without her . A SONG . 1. FUll forty times over , I have strived to win , Full forty times over neglected have been , But it 's forty to one , but I 'le tempt her again : For he 's a dull lover , That so will give over , Seeing thus runs the sport , Seeing thus runs the sport , And assault her but often you 'l carry the fort , Seeing thus runs the sport , And assault her but often you 'l carry the fort . 2. Ther 's a breach ready made , which still open hath bin , And thousands of thoughts to betray it within , If you once come to storme her , you 're sure to get in . Then stand not off coldly , But venter on boldly , With weapon in hand , With weapon in hand , If you do but aproach her , she 's not able to stand , With weapon in hand . If you charge her but home she 's not able to stand . 3. Some Ladies when down them before you do sit , Will strive to repulse you with fire-balls of wit , But alas they 'r but Crackers and seldome do hit ; Then vanquish them after , With Alarums of laughter , Their forces being broke , Their forces being broke , And the fire quite past , you may vanquish the smoak , Their forces being broke , And the fire quite past , you may vanquish the smoak . 4. With pride and with state some outworks we make , And with volleys of frownes drive the enemy back , If you mind them discreetly they are easie to take , Then to it , nere fear them , But boldly come neer them , By working about , By working about , If you once but approach , they can nere hold it out , By working about , If you once but approach , they can nere hold it out , 5. Some Ladies with blushes and modesty fight , And with their own fear , the rude foe doth affright But they 'r easie surpriz'd , if you come in the night Then thus you must drive it , To parley in private , And the'yr overthrown , If you promise them so fairly , they 'l soon be your your own ▪ And the'yr overthrown . If you promise them so fairly , they 'l soon be your own ▪ A SONG . WEe 'l go no more to Tunbridge wells , The journey is too farr , Nor ride in Epsome Wagon where Where our bodies jumbled are . But we will all to the West-wood waters goe , The best that ere you saw , And we will have them hence forth call'd The Kentish new found spaw . Then go Lords and Ladies what e're you aile , Go thither all that pleases , For it will cure you without all fail , Of old and new diseases . ●f you would know how it as out found ; The truth I cannot tell , ●ome say it was by Docter Trig , and so became a Well . Others affirme his patient , Which did much pain indure , Went thither and washt a festered sore , And had a perfect cure . Then go , &c. Thither all the Countrey people flock , By day and eke by night , And for to fill their bottles full , They scramble , scratch and fight . But when the Gentry thither come ▪ And others of good fashion , There is is presented unto them , A fine accommodation , Then go &c. Ioans hole was the first was dig'd , My Ladies was next after , When you are there you 'l hardly taste ▪ which is the better water . For it is so that my Laidies hole , Is digged so neer to Ioane , That and if the people be too rude , They will break both holes into one , Then go &c. Ladies there you may your bodyes cleanse , By stoole and Urine too , 'T will make you have a stomack too 't , Whether you wil or no. There you may skip behind a bush , A fitting place to finde , 'T will make you ope and shut your purse , Before and eke behinde , Then go &c , If I should tell you it would cure , Each malady and grief , Perhaps you would be like other men , Or people past beliefe . Therefore I pray will you think it fit , Go thither all and try , And when you have approv'd of it , You 'l say as much as I. Then go &c. Of banishing the Ladies out of Town . 1. A Story strange I will unfold , Then which a sadder ne're was told , How the Ladies were from London sent , With mickle woe and discontent . 2. ● heart of Marble would have bled , To see this rout of white and red , Both Yorke and Lancaster must fly , With all their painted Monarchy . 3. Those faces which men so much prize , In Mrs. Gibbs her Liveries , Must leave their false and borrowed hue , And put on greif that 's onely true . 4. Those pretty patches long and round , Which covered all that was not sound ; Must be forgotten at the Farmes , As useless and suspitious charmes . 5. Now we must leave all our designes , That were contriv'd within the Lines ; Communication is deny'd , If to our Husbands we be tryed , 6. And here 's the misery alone , We must have nothing but our own ; Oh give us Liberty and we VVill never aske propriety . 7. Alas how can a kiss be sent , From Rocky Cornwall into Kent ? Or how can Sussex stretch an arme , To keep a Northern servant warme ? 8. Oh London ! Centre of all Mirth , Th' Epitome of English Earth ; All Provinces are in the streets , And Warwick-shire with Essex meets , 9. Then farwel Queen-street , and the Fields , And Garden that such pleasure yeilds , Oh who would such faire Lodgings change To nestle in a plunder'd grange . 10. Farewell good places old and new , And Oxford Kates once more adieu ; But it goes unto our very hearts , To leave the Cheese-cakes and the Tarts . 11. Farewell Bridge-foot and Bear thereby , And those bald-pates that stand so high , VVe wish it from our very soules , That other heads were on those powles . 12. But whether hands of Parliament , Or of Husbands we 're content , Since all alike such Traitors be , both against us and Monarchy . A SONG . 1. LAy that sulley Garland by thee , Keep it for the Elyzian shades ; Take my Wreathes of lusty Ivy , Not of that faint mirtle made . When I see thy soule descending , To that cool and sterrill plaine Of fond fooles , the Lake attending , You shall weare this wreath again , Then drink wine , and know the odds , 'Twixt that Lethe , 'twixt that Lethe , Twixt that Lethe , and the Gods 2. ●ouse thy dull and drowsie spirits , ● Behold the soule reviving streams , ●hat stupid Lovers brains inherits ; ●ought but dull and empty dreams . Think not those dismall trances , With our raptures can contend : The lad that laughs , and sings , and dances , May come sooner to his end . Sadness may some pitty move , Mirth and Courage vanquish Love. 3. Fye then on that cloudy fore-head Ope those vainly crossed armes , you may as well call back the buried , As raise Love by such dull charmes . Sacrifice a Glass of Claret , To each letter of her name , Gods themselves descend for it , Mortals must do more the same . If she come not in that flood , Sleep will come , and that 's as good . An Answer . 1. CAst that Ivy Garland from thee , Leave it for some ruder blade , Venus Wreathes will best become me , Not of blazing Bacchus made . When my high flown soule ascended , To Loves bright and warmer sphear ; Whilst with Chaplets I 'me attended , Then an Ivy bush shall weare . Sober Lovers some may prove , Mortals tipple , mortals tipple , Gods doe love . 2. Welcome merry melancholly , Fancying beauties quickning beames , Boone Companions will though jolly , Shrink in over wetting streames . Think not that these ranting humors , May with modesty contend ; Lesser love toyes often doe more , When they come unto their end . Purenesse may some pitty move , Sober carriage charme a Love. 3. Offer up a yoke of kisses , To the Lady you adore , Iove for such a bliss as this is , Would come down as heretofore . If this way she can't be had , Drinking comes , and that 's as bad . A SONG . 1. NO mans love firy passions can approve , As either yeilding pleasure & promotion , I like of milde and luke-warme zeale in Love , Although I do not like it in devotion . 2. For it hath no choherence in my Creed , To think that Lovers do as they pretend ; If all that say they dye , had died indeed , Sure long e're this , the world had had an end ▪ 3. Besides we need not love unless we please , No destiny can force mans disposition ; And how can any dye of that disease , Whereof himself may be his own Physitian ▪ 4. Some one perhaps with long Consumption dry'd And after falling into love may dye , But I dare pawn my life , he nere had died , Had he been half so sound at heart as I. 5. Another rather then incur the slander , O● true Apostate , will false Martyr prove ; But I am neither Orpheus nor Leander , He neither hang nor drown my self for love . 6. Yet I have been a Lover by report , And died for Love , as many others do , But thanks to Iove , is was in such a sort , That I reviv'd within an hour or two . 7. Thus have I liv'd , thus have I lov'd till now . And know no reason to repent me yet , And whosoever otherwise shall do , His courage is as little as his wit. A SONG . 1. DEare Castodoris let me rise , Aurora 'gins to jeer me , And say that I do wantonize , I prethee sweet lye neer me . 2. Let Red Aurora blush my deare , And Phoebus laughing follow , Thou only art Aurora here , Let me be thine Apollo . 3. It is to envy at thy bliss , That they do rise before us , Is there such hurt in this , or this , Nay , aye , why Castadoris . 4. What Arabella can one night Of wanton dalliance try you ? I could be ever , if I might , One hour let me desire you . 5. Nay fie , you hurt me , let me go , If you so roughly use me , What can I say , or think of you ? I prethee sweet excuse me . 6. Thy Beauty and thy Love defend , I should ungently move thee 'T is blisses sweet that I intend , It is not I that love thee ? 7. I do confess it is but then , Since you do so importune ; That I should once lie down agen , Vouchsafe to draw the Cur●aine ▪ 8. Aurora and Apollo too , May visit silent fields ; By our consent , they nere shall know , What bliss our pleasure yeilds . A North Countrey Song . 1. WHen I'se came first to London Town , I wor a Novice as other men are ; I thought the King had liv'd at the Crown , And the way to'l Heaven had been through the Starre . 2. I se set up my Horse , and Ise went to Pouls , Good Lord quo I , what a Kirk been here . Then Ise did sweare by all Kerson souls , It wor a mile long , or very near . 3. It wor as high as any Hill , A Hill , quo I , nay as a Mountaine , Then went Ise up with a very good will , But glad wor I to come down again . 4. For as I went up my head roe round , Then be it known to all Kerson people , A man is no little way fro the ground , When he 's o' th top of all Poles steeple 5. I se lay down my hot , and Ise went to pray , But wor not this a most pitious case , Afore I had don it wor stolen away , who 'd have thought theevs had been in that place ? 6. Now for my Hot Ise made great moan , A stander by unto me said , Thou didst not observe the Scripture aright , For thou mun a watcht , as well as a pray'd 7. Forth thence Ise went and I saw my Lord Major , Good lack what a sight was there to see , My Lord and his Horse were both of a haire , I could not tell which the Mare should be . 8. From thence to Westminster , I went , Where many a brave Lawyer I did see , Some of them had a bad intent , For there my purss was stolne from me . 9. To see the Tombes was my desire , I went with many brave fellowes store , I gave them a penny that was their hire , And he 's but a fool that will give any more . 10. Then through the roomes the fellow me led , Where all the sights were to be seen , And snuffling told me through the nose , What formerly the name of those had been , 11. Here lyes , quoth he , Henry the third ▪ Thou ly'st like a knave , he saies never a word , And here lies Richard the second inter'd , And here 's stands good King Edwards Sword. 12. Under this Chair lyes Iacobs stone , The very same stone lyes under the Chaire , A very good jest had Iacob but one , How got he so many Sons without a paire ? 13. I staid not there , but down with the tide I made great hast , and I went my way ; For I was to see the Lions beside , And the Parris-garden all in a day . 14. When Ise came there , I was in a rage , I rayl'd on him that kept the Beares , Instead of a Stake was suffered a Stage , And in Hunkes his house a crue of Players . 15. Then through the Brigg to the Tower Ise went ▪ With much adoe Ise entred in , And after a peny that I had spent , One with a loud voice did thus begin . 16. This Lion's the Kings , and that is the Queens , And this is the Princes that stands hereby , With that I went neer to look in the Den. Cods body , quoth he , why come you so nigh . 17. I se made great hast unto my Inne , I supt and I went to bed betimes Ise slept , and Ise dream't what I had seen , And wak't again by Cheapside Chimes Several complexions . SHall I woe thee lovely Molly , She is fair , fat , fine and Jolly , ●t she hath a trick of folly ; ●herefore I le have none of Molly , ●o no no , no no no , I 'le have none of Molly , ●o no no no no. ●hat say you to pritty Betty , ●ave you seen a Lass more pretty , ●ut her browes are alwaies swetty ; ●herefore I 'le have none of Betty , no no. When I wooed the lovely Dolly , ●hen she streight growes melancholly , ● that wench is pestilent holy ●herefore I 'le have none of Dolly , no no. When I kist my lovely Franckey , ●he makes curchie and saies I thankey , But her breath is to to rankey , Therefore I 'le none of Frankey , no no. ● commend brave minded Barby , Shee 'l stand me strike or stabby , But her wrists are alwaies Scabby , Therefore I will have none of Barby , no no. What say you to pretty Benny , She thinks good silver is her penny , For want of use she is senny , Therefore I will have none of Benny , no no. I could fancy pritty Nanny , But she has the love of many , And her self will not love any , Therefore I will have none of Nanny , no no. In a flax house I saw Rachel , As she her flax and tow did hachel , But her cheeks hunge like a Sachel , Therefore I 'le have none of Rachel , no no. When I met with lovely Nally , I was bold with her to dally , She lay down ere I said shally , Therefore I 'l have none of Nally , no no. O the Cherry lippes of Nelly They are smooth soft sweet as jelly But she has too big a belly Therefor I 'le have none of Nelly , no no. Shall I court the lovely Siby For she can finely dance the fy by But her tongue is to to clyby Therefore I 'le have none of Siby , no no , The careless Commander . SIng care away let us be glad , The King is willing we should dance ●e is not disloyal that will be sad , Or vext with fickel Chance , Boyes . ●et others sit at home and muse About some state and policy , Or haunt a broad for forraigne news ; It shall never trouble me , Boyes . What newes from Hollonds late arrived , What is the state of Iermany ; What of the conclaves are contrived , It shall never trouble me , Boyes . ●heard of the King of Swedlands death , But how he died I did not see ; ●nd how Portingall was bereft of breath That never troubled me , Boyes . When life had given the Palsgrave over , I knew it was a thing should be , ●nd that Lady Bessy should land at dover , That never troubled me , Boyes , Now where are all the summs were lent Now the last Royal subsitty ; When we shall have a Parliament , It shall never trouble me , Boyes . And how our City wives do love To feed upon variety ; When Maids of honour mothers prove , It shall never trouble me , Boyes . What Country man was George of green Or when the Knight of the Sun shall be ; Married to the Fary Queen , It shall never trouble me , Boyes . Who shall be foole when Archos dead , Or who Lord Mayor in 53 I were a foole it should be said , That that should trouble me , Boyes . My prayers shall be long live the King , He 's willing we should merry be ; As long as I can freely sing There 's nothing troubles me , Boyes . Sometimes 't is money that I lack , To pay my little doccious fee ; And to steepe my Careless braines in Sack , That only troubles me , Boyes . A SONG . YOu talke of old England but I do believe , Old England's grown new , & doth us deceive ●'le ask you a question , or two by your leave . And is not Old England grown new . Where are the brave Souldiers with wounds and , with scarres That never made swearing nor drinking , their warres Nor never shed blood in mad drunken jarres And is not &c. Where are the old Swords the bills and the bowes , The Targets & bucklers that never fear'd blowes , Thei 'r turned to stilettoas and other vain showes . And is not &c. New Captains are come which never did fight , But with pott in the day and punke in the Night , And all their care is to keep their Swords bright . And is not &c. Where is the brave Courtier which now he derides , With forty men blewcoates and footmen besides ●heir turn'd to six horses & six good Cow-hides . And is not &c. They have new fashion'd beards and new fas●●●on'd loc● And new fashion'd hats for new pated blocks , And more new diseases besides the French po● And is not &c. The Gallants and Taylors are half years togeth●● To fit a new suite to a new Cap and feather , And whether to make it of Cloath , Silke , or Le● the And is not &c. New tricking , new triming new measures , ne● pac● New heads for our men , for women new faces And twenty new tricks to mend thir bad cases . And is not &c. New tricks in the Law , new Leases new holds , New bodies we have , we hope for new soules , When our money 's laid out for the building● Poule● And is not &c. Where are the brave Clergy the true Churc● profe● And one only doctrine did ever protest , And hated th'Idolotry of the Papest . And is not &c. Indeed there are some that take a good course , Others there be that drink , whore and curse , And many Arminians are those that be worse . And is not , &c. Le ts say no more now of old England , New England is where old England did stand , New furnisht , new traded , new women'd new man'd And is not , &c. A SONG . THeir was a Joviall Pedler , And he cried Cony-skins And on his back he bore a pack Wherein was points and pinns , Lases and brases and many pretty things . Hay down hey down . Hay down down hey dery dery down . This Pedler never lines , ●ut still he cries so merry merrily , Maides have you any Cony-skins ●here were two Ioviall Sisters , ●hat in one house did dwell ; ●he one was called bony Kate , ●he other bouncing Nell : ●nd these two fair maides ●ad Cony-skines to sell , hay down . Kate pul'd forth her Cony-skines , From underneath the staires , T was as black as any gett , And never a Silver hair ; The Pedler would have fingered it , Rather then his eares , hay down . Nell pull'd forth her Cony-skine Clean of another hue , But t was as good as good may be And that the Pedler knew , The saucy Jack threw down his pack And forth his ware he drew ; Hay down . The Pedler he took up his pack And gan to go his way , The maidens called him back again Desiring him to stay , For they would show him Cony-skines A white one and a gray , hay down . I pray you fair maids To take no further care , For when that I come back again I 'le give you ware for ware , But you have all at this time That now I can well spare , hay down . ●'re forty weeks were gon and past , ●he maides began to say What 's come of this Pedler That used here every day , ●fear he hath beguiled us ●nd run another way , hay down . ●ut now these faire maides ●heir bellies began to swell , ●nd where to find the Pedler ●lack they could not tell ; Then they wish't that all fair maides No more Coney-skines would sell , hay down . Cuckolds all arow . NOt long agoe as all along I lay upon my bed Twixt sleeping and waking a toy came in my head Which caused me in mind to be my meaning for to show My skill and wit and then I writ , Cuckolds all arow . My thought I heard a man and 's wife as they together lay Being quite void of fear or strife , she thus to hi● did say Quoth she sweet heart if thou wilt sport my lo●● to thee I 'le sho● A pritty thing shall make thee sing , Cuckolds &c. Pease wife quoth he to her again I am shure tho● dost but jest Although I am cornuted plain , I am no comm●● bea●● Yet every womans like to thee for ought that 〈◊〉 do know And every man is like to me , Cuckolds all arow . Ther 's never a Lord nor Gentleman , nor Citisen nor Clown ▪ That lives within the City walls or in the Countrey Tow● But they may carry abroad with them hornesan● nere them blo●● For Galants are like other men , Cuckolds all aerow● The Country prating Lawyer that gets the Dive● and al● And pleadeth every Terme time within Westminster Hal● May have his wife in the Country for ought tha● I do know May let his Cliants have a fee , Cuckolds all arow , The traidsmen of the City now that sells by waite and measure , Perhaps may weare a horn'd brow for profit or for pleasure , Whilst they do sell their wares begin that bears , so brave a show , Their wives may play at in & in , Cuckolds all arow . The Parson of the parish I hope shall not go free Whilst he is in his study another man may be , A handling of his wife perhaps and do the thing you know And make him weare his corner cap , Cuckolds &c. If any one offended be and think I do them wrong In nameing of a Cuckold , in this my merry Song , Let him subscribe his name to me and eke his dwelling show , And he & I shall soon agree like Cuckolds all arow The long Vacation . NOw Town-wit saith to witty freind , Transcribe dear Rogue what thou hast pen'd For I one journey hold it fit , To cry thee up , to Countrey wit , Our Mules are come , desolve the Club , The word till Terme is , rub , oh rub ! Now gamesters poor , in Cloak of stammel , Mounted on Steed as slow as Cammel ; Bottom of Crab in luckless hand , Which serves for Bilboe and for Wand , Early int h ' morn doth sneak from Town , Lest Kit for rent should cease on Crown . One single Crown which he doth keep , When day is done to pray for sleep : For he on Journey nought doth eate , Host spies him come , cries Sir what meat ? He calles for Rome and down he lies , Quoth Host no supper : he cries , A pox on supper fling on Rug , I 'me sick , d' ee heare , yet bring a Jugg , Now Damsel yong that dwells in Cheap , For very joy begins to leap : Her Elbow small she often doth rub , Tickl'd with hope of sully bub . For Mother old that doth maintaine , Gold on thumb , Key on Silver chaine : In Snow white clout , wraps nook of Pie , Fat Capons rump , and Rabbits thigh ; And saith to Hackney Coachman go , There 's shillings six , say I or no : Whether quoth he ? quoth she thy teame Must drive to place where groweth Cream . But Husband Gray : now comes to stall , And for notcht Prentice he doth , call : Where 's Dame quoth he , quoth Son of Shop , She is gone her cake in milk to sop . Oh oh to Islington , enough : Call Tom my Son , and our dog Ruffe , For there in pond through mire and muck , Wee 'l cry hey Duck , hey Ruffe , hey Duck. Now bawd by mortifing paunch , ' Bates two stone weight on either haunch ; On Bran and Liver she must dine , 'Cause no man comes to solace Chine : For Bisket stald to fodder gut ▪ Makes lye on back the craving slut . The needy whore bids roaring swash , That pines ( in whiskers long ) fetch Cash , Ther 's Gown , quoth she : and Martha's smock , And coat that covered Andrew's nock : Speak Broaker faire , and tell him , that The next Termes tribute makes us fat . Now man of warr that wanteth food , Growes Colerick , and sweareth , ' Sbloud He sendeth note to man of kin , But man leaves word , I am not within . He meets int h ' street with freind call'd Will , And cries , you Rogue , what living still ? But ere that street they quite have past , He softly askes , what Money hast ? Quoth freind a Crown : ' S'heart Thou beast no more ? sweet lend me part . Now London Major in Saddle new , Rides into faire of Bartholmew : He twirles his Chain , and looketh big , As he would fright the head of Pig : Which gaping lies on greasy stall , Till female with huge belly call . Now Alderman in Field doth stand , With foot on trig , and quaite in hand . I 'me seaven quoth he , the game is up , Nothing I pay , and yet I sup . To Alderman , quoth neighbours then , I lost but Mutton , play'd for Hen ; But wealthy blade cryes out , at rate Of King thou ld'st play , let 's goe , 't is late . Now Levite that neer Bride-well dock , In old blind nook feeds silly flock : With common course , though spiritual , Fit food for blade that works on stall : These all with solemn Oath agree , To meet in Fields of Finsbury , With loynes in Canvas , Bow-case ty'd , Where Arrowes stick with mickle pride ; With hat pin'd up , and Bow in hand , All day so fiercely there they stand , Like Ghosts of Adam , Bell and Clim , Sol sets for fear they 'l shoot at him . Now Vaulter good , and Dauncing lass On Roap : and man that cries hey toss , And tumbler young that needs but stoop , Lay head to heel , and creep through hoop ; And man that doth in Chest include , Old Sodom and Gomora lewd ; And shews those drabs the sisters two , That Lot debauch'd , then made him doe ; And Man that while the Puppets play , Through nose expoundeth what they say : And Ape led Captive still in chaine , Till he renounce the Pope and Spain . And white Oate eater that doth dwell , In stable small , at sign of Bell. That lifts up hoof to shew the pranks , Taught by Magician styled Bankes . These all on hoof now trudge from town , To cheat poor turnup-eating Clown . Now spinne Ralph and Gregory small , And short hair'd Stephen , and white fac't Paul ; Whose times are out , Indentures torne , That full seaven years taught them not scorn To feth up Coales for maid to use , Wipe Mistress and children shoo 's ; Hire meager Steeds to ride and see Their Parents good : who dwell as neer As place cal'd Peake in Derby-shire ; There they alight , old Croanes are mild , Each weeps on Crag of pretty Child : They portions give , Trades up to set , That babes may live , serve God and cheat . Now Kit that trusts with weary thighs , Seeks Garret where small Poet lies : He comes to room , findes Garret shut , Then not with knuckle but with foot He roundly knocks : would enter door , The Poet sleeps not , but doth snore . Kit chafes like beast of Libia then , Sweares he 'l not come nor send agen . With little lump trianguler , Straight Poet sighs are heard a farr . Quoth he , can't noble numbers choose , But walk on foot that have no shooes ? Then doth he wish with fervent breath , As 't were his last request ere death . Each ow'd a Bond , each Madrigall , A Lease from Haberdashers Hall : Or else that he deriv'd had been , From Cod of King and nock of Queen , For wight enthroned cares , not an Ace For Wood-street freind , that Weeldech Mace. Kings pay no scores but when they list , And treasure still hath cramp in fist . Now wight that acts on stage of Bull , In Scullers barke doth lye at Hull : Which he for pennies two doth rig , All day on Thames to bob for Grig ; Whilst Fencer poor doth by him stand , In old dung Liter hook in hand . Between knees rod : with Canvas crib To girdle tyed , fast under rib ; Where wormes abide , that little Fish , Betray at night to Earthen dish . ●eer house of Lane by Temple Bar , Now man of Mace cares not how far . In s●ockings blew ) he marcheth on , ●ith Velvet Cape his Cloak upon , ●n Girdle scroule , where name of summe , ●s written down , which he with thumb , ●n shoulder left , must safe Convey , ● wing sad wight , with name of Roy. ●oore Prisoners freind that sees the touch , Cryes out , by God I thought as much . Now Poet small to Globe doth run ●nd vows to Heaven four acts are done , Finis to bring he doth protest : ●ells each aside his part is best : And all to get as Poets use , Minerall in pouch to comfort Muse : But stay , my frighted Muse is fled , My self through fear crept under bed ; For just as pen would scribble more , Fierce City Dun did rap at door . A SONG . 1. POx take you Mistris I 'le be gone , I have freinds to wait upon ; Think you I 'le my self confine , To your humours ( Lady mine . ) No , your louring seems to say : 'T is a rainy drinking day , To the Taverne I 'le away . 2. There have I a Mistress got , Cloystered in a Pottle pot : Brisk and sprightly as thine Eye , When thy richest glances fly , Plump AND bounding lively faire , Bucksome , soft and debonaire : And she 's call'd Sack my DEARE . 3. Sack 's my better Mistriss farr , Sack my onely beauty starre ; Whose rich beames , and glorious raie ; Twinkle in each red rose and face : ●hould I all her vertues show , Thou thy self wouldst love-sick prove , AND shee 'd prove thy Mistress TOO , 4. She with no dartscorne will blast me , But upon thy Bed can cast me ; Yet nere blush her self too red , Nor fear of loss of Maiden-head : And she can ( the truth to say ) Spirits into me convey , MORE then thou canst take AWAY . 5. Getting kisses here 's no toyle Here 's no Handkerchif to spoile ; Yet I better Nectar sip , Then dwel upon thy lip : And though mute and still she be , Quicker wit she brings to me , THEN e're I could finde in THEE . 6. ●f I go nere think to see , Any more a foole of me ; ●'le no liberty up give , Nor a Maudlin-like Love live . No , there 's nought shall win me to 't T is not all thy smiles can do 't , Nor my Maiden head - to BOOT . 7. Yet if thou 'lt but take the paine ; TO be good but once againe . If one smile then call me back , THOU shalt be that Lady Sack , Faith but try and thou shalt see , What a loving Soule I 'le be , WHEN I am Drunk with nought but thee . The Answer . 1. I Pray thee Drunkard get thee gone , Thy Mistresse Sack doth smell too strong : Think you I intend to wed , A sloven to be-piss my bed ? No , your staining mee 's to say , You have been drinking all this day , Goe , begon , away away . 2. Where you have your Mistress Sack , Which hath already spoil'd your back , And methinks should be to hot , To be cloystered in a pot . Though you say she is so faire , So lovely and so debonair , She is but of a yellow haire . 3. ●ack's awhore which burnes like fire , ●ack consumes and is a dryer ; And her waies do onely tend To bring men unto their end . ●hould I all her vices tell , Her rovings and her swearings fell , ●hou wouldst dam her into Hell. 4. ●ack with no durt scornes will blast thee , ●ut upon thy Bed still cast thee : ●nd by that impudence doth show , ●hat no vertue she doth know : ●or she will , the truth to say , ●hy body in an hour decay , More then I can in a day . 5. ●hough for kisses there 's no toyle , ●et your body She doth spoile : ●●pping Nectar whilst you sit , ●he doth quite besot your wit : ●hough she is mute shee 'l make you loud : ●rawl and fight in every crowd , ●hen your reason she doth clould . 6. Nor do thou ever look to see , Any more a smile from me , I 'le no liberty , nor signe , Which I truely may call mine . No , no slight shall win me to 't , 'T is not all thy parts can do 't , Thy Person nor thy Land to boot . 7. Yet if thou wilt take the paine , To be Sober once again , And but make much of my back , I will be in stead of Sack. Faith but try , and thou shalt see , What a loving Soul I 'le be , When thou art drunk with nought but me . I Had a Love and she was chast , Ala●k the more 's the pity , But wot you how my Love was chast , She was chast quite through the City Upon a Priest that lyes buried in Wells . A Priest there was of Wellis , Where was tinkled a great many Bellies , And in concordance , He plaid well on the Organce : And he was an excellent singer , And in the world not such a ringer . A SONG . WHen Vertue was a Countrey maid , And had no skill to ●et up trade , Was brought to Town by a Carriers jade , That stood at rack and manger : She took her Whiffe , she drank her Can , The Pipe was nere out of her span , She married a Tobacco man , A stranger . She set up a Shop in Honey lane , Whereto the flies did flock amaine , Some flew from France and some from Spaine , Brought by the English Pander . But when the Honey pot grew dry , And Winter came , the Flies must dye : Her Husband he was forst to flie From Flanders . A Scholers answer to one that sent to borrow his Horse . RIght Worshipfull Frank , I humbly thee thank , For the kindness received of late , Ingratitutde sure I cannot indure , 'T is a vice that I utterly hate . I hear you provide a journey to ride , If any would lend you a Gennit . I protest before God , mine 's all gone abroad , And won't be at home this sennight . But yet my kind Francis , if that it so chances , That a Horse you needs must hire . If your business be hasty , I 'le lend you my Masty ▪ To carry you out of the mire . 'T is a dainty fine cur , You need not him spur , If you his conditions but knew , For hee 'l prance and hee 'l gape , When he carries my Ape , Much more when he carries you . A SONG . 1. THere was an old Lad , rode on an old Pad , Unto an old punk a woing ; He laid the old punk , upon an old trunk , Oh there was good old doing . 2. There was an old maid , scarce sweet as they said , In a place I dare not make mention , She in an old humour lay with a Perfumer ▪ Oh there was a sweet invention . 3. The Punk and the Maid , they swear & they said , That Marriage was servillity ; If Marry you must , for changing of Lust , Oh well fare a trick of nullity . 4. There was a mad man did study to frame ● Device ▪ to draw up a prespuce , She drew up so narrow , a Car might go through , Oh there was a slender sluce . 5. Her Earle did appoint her , she said , such a Joi●●ture As was of no vallidity Above twise in a Night , he did her no right , Oh there was a strange frigidity . 6. But when as her Earle had another girle , His wimble did pierce her flanke , His Nag prov'd able , by changing of stable , Oh there was a quod ad hanc . 7. This dame was inspected , by fraud interjected ▪ held the candle A maid of more perfection , Whom the Midwives did handle , while the K nt Oh there was a clear inspection . 8. Now as forraign writers , cry out of their miters That allow this for a virginity , And talke of Election , and waul of Election ; Oh there was a sound Divinity . 9. There was a young Lord assumed on his word , That he would be a Parliament maker , But see how things alter , he assumed a halter , Oh there was an undertaker , 10. He had a sweet freind , which he did comend , To the keeping of sweet Sir Iarvis , They gave him a Clister , made his belly to bliste●● Oh there was a sweet piece of service . 11. ●his freind he denied , and would not abide , A Marrige that so would shame us , ●etween this sweet Matron , & this grave Patron ; Oh Patron of Ignoramus . 12. Now Weston and Horn , and Turner do turn , And say that this plot was fraude , These may say their pleasure , some think hard measure , Oh knaves , and Punkes , and Bawds . A SONG . THou Shephard whose intentive eye , On every Lambe is such a spie ; No willy foe can make them less Where may I find my Sheaperdess . A little pausing then said he , How can this Jewel stay from thee ? ●n Summers heat in winters cold , ● thought thy brest had been her folde . It is indeed the constant place , Wherein my thoughts still see her face , And print her Image in my heart , But yet my fond eyes crave a part . With that he smiling said I might , Of Cloaris party have a sight , And some of her perfections meet , In every flower that 's fresh and sweet . That growing Lilly weares her skin , The Violet her blew veines within , The Damaske Rose now blown and spread ; Her sweeter cheeks her lips as red . The winds that wanton with the Spring , Such Odors as her breathings bring But the resemblance of her eyes Was never found beneath the skies . Her charming voice who strives to fit His object , must be higher yet , For Heavens Earth and all we see Disperst collected is but she . A maide at this discourse methoughts , Love , both ambition in me wrought And made me covet to ingross A wealth , would prove a publick loss With that I sighth , ashamed to see , Such worth in her , such want in mee ; Closing both mine eyes forbid The world my sight since she was hid . A Song . To the Tune of Packingtons Pound . 1. MY masters and friends , and good people draw near , And look to your Purses , for that I do say ; And though little mony in them you do wear , It cost more to get , than to lose in a day : You oft have been told , Both the young and the old , And bidden beware of the Cut-purse so bold . Then if you take heed not , free me from this curse , Who both give you warning for , and the Cut-purse ; Youth , youth , thou hadst better been sterv'd by thy Nurse , Then live to be hanged for cutting a purse . 2. It hath been upbraided to men of my Trade , That oft-times we are the cause of this crime , Alack and for pity , why should it be said ? As if they regarded or places or time : Examples have been Of some that were seen In Westminster Hall , yea the Pleaders between ▪ Then why should the Judges be free from this curse , More than my poor self for cutting the purse ? Youth , youth , &c. 3. At Worcester 't is known well , and even i'th'Jayl , A Kt. of good worth did there shew his face , Against the frail sinner in rage for to rail , And lost ( ipso facto ) his purse in the place ; Nay ev'n from the seat Of Judgment so great , A Judge there did lose a fair purse of Velvet ; O Lord for thy mercy how wicked or worse , Are those that so venture their necks for a purse ! Youth , youth , &c. 4. At Playes and at Sermons , and at the Sessions , 'T is daily their practice such booty to make ; Yea under the Gallows , at Executions , They stick not , they stare about purses to take ; Nay one without Grace , At a better place , At Court and in Christmas before the Kings face . Alack then for pity , must I bear the curse , That onely belong to the cunning Cut-purse ? Youth , youth , &c. 5. But , O you vile nation of Cut-purses all , Relent and repent , and amend and be ●ound , And know that you ought not by honest mens fall , To advance your own fortunes , to dye above ground ; And though you go gay , In Silks as you may , It is not the high-way to Heaven ( as they say . ) Repent then , repent you , for better , for worse , And kiss not the Gallows for cutting a purse . Youth , youth , thou hadst better been sterv'd by thy nurse , Then live to be hanged for cutting a purse . To the Tune of I wail in wo , I plunge in pain : OR LABANDOLA shot . Verse 1. IN Cheapside famous for Gold and Plate , Quicksilver I did dwell of late : I had a master good and kind , That would have wrought me to his mind ; He bade me still work upon that , But alas ! I wrought I knew not what : He was a Touch-stone black but true , And told me still what would ensue ; Yet wo is me , I would not learn , I saw alas ! but covld not discern . Verse 2. I cast my Coat and Cap away , I went in Silks and Sattens gay ; False mettal of good manners I Did daily coyne unlawfully . I scorn'd my master being drunk , I kept my Gelding and my Punk , And with a Knight , Sir Flash by name , Who now is sorry for the same . Verse 3. Still Eastward-Hoe was all my word , But Westward I had no regard ; Nor ever thought what would come after , As did , alas ! his youngest Daughter . At last the black Oxe trod on my foot , I saw then what belong'd unto 't : Now cry I , Touch-stone , touch me still , And make me current by thy skill . Verse 4. O Manington thy stories show , Thou cut'st a Horse head off at a blow , But I confess I have not the force , For to cut off the head of a Horse . Yet I desire this grace to win , That I may cut off the Horse head of sin , And leave his body in the dust Of sins high-way , and bogs of lust : Whereby I may take Vertue 's purse , And live with her for better for worse . Verse 5. Farewel Cheapside , farewel sweet Trade , Of Goldsmiths all that never shall fade . Farewel dear Fellow-prentises all , And be you warned by my fall . Shun Usurers bonds , and Dice , and Drabs , Avoid them as you would French scabs . Seek not to go beyond your teacher , And cut your thongs unto your leather : So shall you thrive by little and little , Scape Tyburn , Counters , and the Spittle . A Song . 1. LAdies here I do present you With a dainty dish of fruit , The first it was a Poplin Pear , 'T was all the fruit the tree did bear ; You need not pare it any whit , But put it all in at a bit ; And being let a while to lye , 'T will melt , 't will melt , 't will melt most pleasantly . 2. The next in order you shall have A rich Potata and a brave , Which being laid unto the fire , God Cupid kindles to desire ; For when 't is baste , with little cost , 'T will baste it self when it is rost ; It needs no sugar nor no spice , 'T will please a stomach nere so nice , 'T will make a maid at midnight cry , It comes , it comes , it comes , it comes most pleasantly . 3. The next by lot as doth befall , Is two handfuls of Roundsefals ; Which Priamus the Garden god Made Venus eat within the Cod : You must not prune too much at first , For if you do tears out will burst , And being let a while to lye , 'T will drop , 't will drop , 't will drop , 't will drop most prettily . 4. The best of things in all the land , You shall have Mars his onely wand , Protecting of that pretty flower , Which comes and goes in half an hour , The flowers of vertue that do grow , Because they 'l please all women so : But when Mars draws back his wand , It lyes , it lyes , it lyes , and cries , and cannot stand . Upon the Burning of a Petty School . WHat heat of Learning kindled your desire You cursed sons to set your house on fire ? VVhat love of honour in your brests did turn Those sparks of fury into flames to burn ? Or was 't some higher cause ? were the hot gods Phoebus and Vulcan cold friends now at ods ? What er'e the Cause was , surely ill was th' intent When all the muses justly may lament ; But above all for names sake Polyhymy Bewails the downfall of that learned Chimny , Where you might see without or wit or sense Lay the sad ashes of an accidence . What numbers here of Nowns to wrack did go , As Domus , Liber , and as many moe , In woful case , no sex the flames did spare Each gender in this losse had common share ▪ There might you see the Rufull declinations Of 15. Pronouns and 4. Conjugations . Some Gerunds Di , but some Do overcome , And some with heat and smoak are quite strook dumb . Supines lay gasping upwards void of fences , The moods were mad to see imperfect tences , Adverbs of place threw down their lofty stories As ubi , ibi , illic , intus , foris , Conjugations so disjoyn as you would wonder , No coupling scarce but it was burnt asunder . The Praepositions knew not where to be , Each Interjection cry'd Heu ! woe is me . For the due joyning of the things again A Neighbour call'd qui mihi comes amain ; Else sure the fire had into flames so turn'd Gods , Men , Months , Rivers , Winds , and all had burn'd . Now 'gan the flames the Heteroclites to number , And poor supellex lost his plural number : Of verbs scarce had escaped one of twenty , Had there not been by chance As in presenti . T. R. Upon the fall of VVisbech Bridge . HElpe help you undertakers all , Whose purses are the stronger , Our bridge the falling sicknesse hath , For it can stand no longer . And come you cruel Watermen , And lend your help toth ' town , ' Its you I doubt that shot the bridge ; And so have thrown it down . What was the cause of this mischance There is a great confusion ; I saw by the water that he was Of a Crazy constitution . Some say th' enlarging of the streames Strook up the bridges heels . It was too much strong water sure That made him drunk and reel . And some do say , he fell because His feet had no good landing : I rather think the blockhead fell For want of understanding . Although our Country suffer losse And at this downfall grudges , It was the upstart-fluce that put Our aged bridge to 's Crutches . The Lords will have it built again Much longer then the other ; Introth I think it will be long Ere we have such another . But who shall build this stately piece There 's no man can suppose ; The Dutch man doubts the Lords do mean To make a bridge of 's nose . And some do say that Mr. Day Will give to it ten pound , But he reply'd ( by ) they lyed , He had rather see them drown'd . But let not Wisbech be dismaid , Nor at this losse complain ; For though our bridge a Bankrupt be VVe 'll set him up again . T. R. Upon the fall of the Miter in Cambridge . LAment Lament you schollers all , Each wear his blackest gown ; The miter that upheld your wits , Is now it self fallen down . The dismall fire on London bridge Can move no heart of mine , For that but ore the water stood But this stood ore the wine . It needs must melt each Christians heart That this sad newes but hears , To see how the poor hogs-heads wept Good Sack and Claret teares . The zealous students of that place Change of Religion fear , That this mischance may soon bring in The Heresie of Beer . Unhappy miter , I would know The cause of thy sad hap ; VVas it for making leggs too low To Pembrokes Cardinals cap ? Then know thy self , and cringe no more , Since Popery went down That cap should vaile to thee , for now The miter's next the Crown . Or was 't because our company Did not frequent the Cell As we were wont , to drown these cares , Thou fox'd thy self and fell ? No sure the Devil was adry And caus'd this fatal blow ; 'T was he that made this celler sink That he might drink below ; And some do say the Devil did it 'Cause he would drink up all , I rather think the Pope was drunk And let his miter fall . Poor Commoners to your great disgrace Yout want of skill acknowledge To let a Tavern fall that stood O' th' walls of your own Colledge . The Rose now withers , Falcon moults , VVhite Sam enjoyes his wishes The Dolphin now must cast his Crown , VVine was not made for fishes . This sign a Tavern best becomes , To shew who loves it best , The miter is the onely sign , For 't is the Schollers crest . Thou Sam drink Sack and chear thy self Be not dismay'd at all For we will drink it up again Though we do catch the fall , Wee l be thy workmen day and night In spite of Bug bear Proctors We drank like Frenchmen all before , But now we 'll drink like Doctors . T. R. A match at Cock-fighting . GOe you tame Gallants , you that have the name , And would accounted be cocks of the game ; That have brave spurs to shew for 't , and can crow , And count all dunghill breed that cannot shew Such painted plumes as yours , that thinkt no vice With cock-like lust to tread your cockatrice ; Though Peacocks , Woodcocks , Weathercocks you be , If y' are no fighting cocks y' are not for me . I of two feathered combatants will write ; He that to 'th life means to express their fight , Must make his Ink their bloud which they did spill , And from their dying wings borrow his quil : No sooner was the doubtfull people set , The matches made , and all that would had bet ; But straight the skilful Judges of the play Bring forth their sharp-heel'd warriours , and they Were both in linnen bags , as if 't was meet , Before they die to have had their winding sheet . With that i' th' pit they 're put , and when they were Both on their feet , the Norfolk Chantecleer Looks stoutly on his ne're before seen foe , And like a challenger begins to crow , And shake his wings , as that he did display His warlike colours , which were black and gray ; Meane while the wary Wisbech walks and breaths , His active body and in fury wreathes His comely crest , and often looking down He whets his angry beake upon the ground . With that they meet , not like that coward breed Of Esope ; these can better fight then feed . They scorn the dunghil , 't is their onely prize To dig for Pearls in each others eyes ; They fought so long that it was hard to know , To 'th skilful whether they did fight or no ; Had not the bloud which died the fatal floor , Borne witnesse of it , yet they fight the more , As that each wound were but a spur to prick Their fury forward , lightning not more quick Nor red then were their eyes ; 't is hard to know , VVhether it was bloud or anger made them so . And sure they had been out , had they not stood More safe by being fenced in with bloud : But still they fight ; But now alas at length , Although their courage be full tyr'd , their strength And bloud began to Ebbe , you that have seen A water combate on the Sea between Two angry boyling billowes , how They martch and meet , and dash their curled brow , Swelling like graves , as though they did intend To intombe each other ere the quarrel end : But when the wind is down , and blustring weather , They are made friends , and sweetly run together . Methinks these Champions such , their wind grown low , And they which leapt even now , now scarce can go . Their wings which lately at each blow they clapt , As if they did applaud themselves , they flap ; And having lost the advantage of the heel , Drunk with each others bloud they onely reele ; From both their eyes such drops of bloud did fall , As if they wept them for their funeral : And yet they fain would fight , they come so neer As if they meant into each others eare , To whisper death , and when they cannot rise , They lie and look blowes into each others eyes : But now the tragick part after the fight , VVhen Norfolk cock had got the best of it , And Wisbitch lay a dying , so that none Though sober but might venter seven to one , Contracting like a dying taper all His force , as meaning with that blow to fall , He struggles up , and having taken winde , Ventures a blow and strikes the other blind . And now poor Norfolk having lost his eyes , Fights onely guided by antipathies ; VVith him ( alas ) the Proverb holds too true , The blowes his eyes nere saw his heart must rue : At length by chance , he stumbling on his foe , Not having any strength to deal a blow ; He falls upon him with a wounded head , And made the conquerours wings his feather bed : VVhere lying sick , his friends were very chary Of him , and fetcht in haste the' apothecary : But still in vain , his body doth so blister , That it s not capable of any glister ; Wherefore at last opening his fainting bill , He call'd a Scrivener , and thus made his Will. Inprimis . Let it never be forgot , My body freely I bequeath to th'pot , Decently to be boild , and for its Tomb , Let it be buried in some hungry womb . Item . Executor I will have none , But he that on my side laid seven to one : And like a Gentleman that he may live , To him and to my heirs my Comb I give ; Together with my brains , that all may know That oftentimes his brains do use to crow . Item . It s my will to those weaker ones , Whose wives complain of them , I give my stones . To him that 's dull I do my spurs impart , And to the Coward I bequeath my heart : To Ladies that are light it is my will , My feathers should be given ; and for my bill , I 'de give to'a Taylor , but it s so short , That I 'm afraid he 'l rather curse me for 't . And for the worthy Doctors , they who meant To give me a Glister , let my Rump be sent : Lastly , because I feel my life decay , I yield and give to Wisbech cock the day . T. R. CLear is the air , and the morning is fair Fellow Huntsman come wind your horn ; Sweet is the breath , and fresh is the earth , That does melt the rinde from the thorn : The flowers wax bright with Apollo's light , Newly sprung from the Ocaean Queen ; Where on a forrest plain , may be seen a brave game , Right fit of a Prince to be seen . Fourteen couple truly counted , of hounds both good and trusty , And a troop of horsemen bravely mounted of coursers swift and lusty : Of Huntsmen so right , that clear were of sight , to shew the delight , the delight , So hoe , hoe ; so hoe , &c. there she sits . Then Coridon was frighted , his lambs they were so parted , To hear how they did shout , they hollow'd , and they hoopt , — Whilst Wat before them started . With halloe , halloe , halloe , halloe , halloe , halloe , with a halloe , cryed the louder ; The earth ne're bare a braver Hare , that ran more strong and prouder . Swift as a Roe she fairly hunts o're mountains , hills and dales , O're meadows , pastures , and o're fields , over layes and under rayles ; And then unto the hunt she gets , she winds the furrs and Plain , And here and there she runs six miles before she turns again . There might you see proud Strawberry run foaming hard to hold , And Peggabrigge with all her tricks , 't is pity she e're was old : Robin-red-breast and Shotten-herring amidst the jovial crew , Did top the hounds upon the Downs whilst Wat was in their view . Hark how the hounds , & the horns & the horns . & the hounds , & the huntsmen loud do hollow , Whilst Wat with nimble feet doth trip o're the Downs , o're the Downs , in all her follow : But Wat at the length shew'd them such a trick , That she made them all to stand and to stick , And to cry , Ioler , Ioler , so hoe , &c. Ioler there . So many men so many minds , so many dogs so many kinds : Some stood staring at the head , and some said she was forward fled : But one amongst them all , of judgment small , In faith he knew that she was dead ; For a shepherd crost the fields with his dog at his heels , That swore guds-nigs her bloud was spilt . Iuno then came back again , and compasse wide did go-a , To see if she could hit , and sit in the lands that lay below-a , There she try'd , and out she cry'd with mouth full deep and sweet-a , Which made them all on her to call , whilst Wat away did creep-a , Hark there Iuno , Iuno , so ho , so ho , &c. Iuno there . See , see , see where she goes , how she turns over , Iuno and Iupiter , Tinker and Troler , Sing-well and Merry-boy , Captain and Cryer , Gingwell and Gingle-bell , Fair-maid and Frier , Beauty and Bonny-lass , Tanner and Trouncer , Fomer and Forrester , Bomer and Bouncer , Gander and Gondemore , Ioler and Iumper , Tarquine and Tamberlain , Thunder and Thumper . Over the mountains , and under the vales , Over the fountains , and under the rails , Through the woods that are the thickest , Which the Silvans obey , O're the dikes that are the deepest , Puss will find out the way . But Wat grew faint and spent well nigh , A little ease for charity . Stop the dogs , stay the hounds , give her more breath , We will see all her tricks before her death . But Wat grew faint and could no longer run , Her strength was spent , her life was almost done ; And sitting down she sighing seem'd to say , Those whom I trusted did my trust betray . On the praise of Fat Men. LO , precious Rules are here made common , For health of either man or woman . If thou fat mortal fain wouldst be , With cheeks so plump for eyes to see : Know feeding hard , and drinking much , With sleeping long , will make you such . Cram thou until thou fartst at table , 'T will make thee fat as Jade i' th' stable . If thou thy Buttocks would have spread , Sit long after thou hast well fed ; 'T will make the Hanches large to grow , Through gown or breeches making show . If thou thy flesh wilt hold together , Walk not though it be fair weather ; All exercise forbear , for that But wastes and melts away the fat . You see when Bores for Brawn we feed , That they 're pend up in stigh indeed . Which makes their fat more firm and hard , Than is the greatest Bacon lard : So you the Dining-room may keep , To eat and drink in , shire and sleep . Your wiser Germans sit at meals So long till it runs down their heels , Nor do they think it any scorn , For what o'reflows , their rooms adorn . In camp you may find out his tent From other Nations by the sent ; For there the Pakings up of Rennish , Disturbs no stomach that is squemish . To eat and drink , to shire and spue , Is custom old , no fashion new . Your pills and potions are poor things To those more natural scowerings ; To see a mortal with large pode Disburden Colon of his load ; Or see one which eat apple-pye , Till she hath need to let it flye , Doth shew that all is right within , That sends forth pudding without skin , These are the natural conies that shew The feeding bodies ebbe and flow . For in the microcosm we All changes of the great world see , Let hungry wight forbear a meal , It makes him look like slinked Veal ; His belly thinks his throat is cut , And cramp begins to wring his gut ; He looketh blew under the eyes , And guts do wolf-like trade that lies In watry dike in Springs beginning ; Then have a care of empty sinning ; You never shall answer half so much To fill , as he shall that doth grutch To stuff his chitterlings so well , That they no tales of fasting tell . I heard rich mortal had a pig A present sent to him so big That he to eat it was unwilling , But strived to sell it for five shilling , The pig was sent him with the taile , But in the market that must fail , For there the mortal would not send it But in his family would spend it ; But bad his man to have a care To sel 't where he might have his share . The body of the pig was sold But powdring tub the tail did hold ; The powdring tub which had not seen So much as rump of goose so green In twice ten year ( tub true to say ) Would well have serv'd late priests to pray , Such as from Coblers stalls have crept , And in obedience Sisters kept . Their members all with due are spred To rub and chafe when they 're in bed . For after exercise in tub Their sisters cause their Priests to rub That they their teachers might restore For doctrine given in before . But leaving brother to expound Dark place and mystery profound , I now intend to bend discourse To mortal fat as pampred horse . They commonly that are so fat No parents are of wicked plot . Alas they onely do take care To keep their ribs from being bare , And that is done by exercise Of little bones beneath their eyes , Bones that will trundle a whole mile VVhile all the body rests the while ; Yet we have fools within our Nation Let strangers pull them out for fashion , Bones unto men of precious use , That squeeze all fat , all ripe to juyce , That man that truly loves his belly , To part with them is loth I tell ye ; He doth as highly prize those bones , As Ladies do those precious stones VVhich nature made not to adorn her So much as please her in a corner . These bones in English have name VVhich mounsieurs raised have to fame . A single one is called a tooth From whence tooth-drawer comes forsooth . But of tooth-drawers pray know this The French the most esteemed is ; He doth as much by touch of finger As figures do for figure flinger . But all the learned know that they Do but pretend to what they say . Your French-Tooth-drawer if you observe Looks as if he himself did sterve To fat his horse , which drew as much As mounsiers self doth by the touch ; For mounsiers horse whose hoofes are horns While he cures Teeth the Jade cures Cornes . I see a Porter who stood by To see mounsier draw's mouth awry And pull from well-grown Butchers gum A hollow Tooth bigger then 's thumb ; A Tooth I le warrant in time hath ground Of fly-blown beef , many a pound ; A Tooth had some well-minded Glutton But such a phang he 'd tue the mutton ; Porter that stood this sight to see Had come on too most certainly , The mounsiers horse as if jade knew The malady which on toe grew , Removed his foot and set it down Upon the toe of gazing clown ; Porter at tread of horse did squeak , But jade had gin his corn at tweak . Just as the Butchers money paid , The Porters cure of corn was made ; He needs must be rid of his corn , For toe from his foot was torn . When Porter begins to complain , Mounsier to spur his horse was fain , So rides away , sans all remorse , Bidding the Porter kisse his arse . Porter was lame , and could not follow , But aloud begins to hollow ; But we leave Porter for to howle , Till we return to our fat soul ; For this is quite against profession Of mine to make so large digression . But now , for rules before we eat , And how to chuse right battning meat , For spoon-meat , barly-broth and jelly , Very good is for the belly . For mornings draught your north-down-ale Will make you oylely as a Whale ; But he that will not out flesh wit Must at the good Canary sit ; For 't is a saying very fine Give me the fat mans wit in wine : For he 's as merry as wean'ling Pig That to the Hoggs-trough dances Jig . Your beef , your pork , your veal , your mutton So it be good as knife ere cut on ; Your pigs , your capons , turkies , conies , Your feeding wight thinks worth his monies ; But he whose longings to grow thicker , Must mingle with good meat good liquor . Your Brawn washt down with muskadine , Will make your cheeks look plump and fine ; If you would have a double chin Drink no small beer , for that 's too thin : For he that means to feed his chops high , Apt is to fall into a Dropsie . Therefore your high rich wines are fit T' augment the flesh and help the wit : 'T will make the buttocks firm as brawn , And skin as pure white as Lawne . Turn haunches up with Lady fine , And thy fat arse shall hers out-shine . Feeding and drinking , smooths the skin , And makes the plump one moist within . VVho feeds at Vespers and at Mattins Their skins as smooth and white as Sattins Nere dyed ; but we and from the pure Silk Of the dead worm ( whiter ) then Milk. As I of feeding much do treat , So rules I render after meat . VVhen thou from a full meal dost rise , Scummer and Urine if tho'rt wise : Then pipe of right Varinas take , For that doth swift digestion make . Then seat thy self in a great chair , And thing call'd tatling do forbear ; So shall you fall into sweet nap , Shall ease the burthen of your lap : That you no sooner shall awake , But you another meal may take ; Or have at least when you do rise Passage for dung between your thighs . Another precious rule scarce thought on By no means here must be forgotten ; All vermine which in bed doth creep , From thighs and privy members keep ; For rhey are creatures break the rest , And make men sleep when they should feast ; Leaving untoucht a wholesome cony , Which sweeter is to man then money . Take woman fat , with a black hair , With colour red , and skin that 's fair ; And turn her up , and you shall see Such a strong contrariety , Of her white thigh and curled black , That bordereth about her knack Shall please the skilful eye to see Of hues , such rare variety ; For there is black , and blew , and white , Ordained for young mans delight . I could speak more in praise of these Strong harbours for fat crabs and fleas ; But I must turn and wind my story To those by feeding gain their glory . And now should I all wild fowle name , That adde to lusty manchers frame ; I dazle should the readers eye To view the name of fowle that fly ; I will not write of Hern or Bittern VVhose claw transcends goose-quill or sittern ; Nor of the partridge , nor the pheasant , Meat scarcely known to chops of peasant ; Nor of the woodcock , nor the widgeon , Nor the often billing pigeon . Nor of the lark , nor the cock-sparrow Whose mettle melts away his marrow . I shall want room to write of fish , Which often is the fat mans dish ; Of which the sturgeon and the oyster That moveth holy Nun in Cloyster , And maketh ofttimes aged Fryar A little of that same desire . Oysters are of strong operation , Known to both Sexes of our Nation ; They 're fishes of such rare perfection , That they in flesh make an erection ; And give to mouths want teeth such strength That they 'le devour a whole yards length ; Such is keen appetite of nick , Although it be a handfull thick . I must not dwell on watry theame , For fear I 'm thought too full of phlegme : But now I something have to say , Of food that helps natures decay ; Of which the food springs from the earth Sutes best to those of humane birth . In Indies Eastern occident , There 's fruits that give the taste content . Some that have travelled speak of Planton , It makes men lusty , women wonton : But I believe our English skerrit To man or woman adds more spirit . But this is clearly my opinion , There breeds more sperme of leek and onion ; Some windy roots we have that swell The belly much , helps nere a dell To procreation , but they We mean to cast out of our way : Of which the turnip and the carot Will make some speak like Jay or Parrot . It was the judgement of wi●e Cato , That Parsnip did transcend Potato ; He swears that Parsnip more doth merit Then the aringo or the skerit : And yet the aringo we do see Our Ladies much perpetually , Which out of fellow-feeling they , Do to resist , and to obey . Iohannes de temporibus Who liv'd as long as three of us ; His dyet much was on the Parsnip , And he did love to give white arsnip : In commendations of that root , Said it made him ofttimes go tot . A modern writer , to the glory Of this brave root tells this true story ; Which if our Ladyes will not eat , Will serve to do another feat . The story was of a swart Spanyard Who seldom had a pendent whinyard ; But every night did claper-claw His wife , that she was almost raw ; She was so sore and full of pain , That she was forced to complain . The learned Judges of the Land Desir'd to take each thing in hand : But when the Judges understood , The matter was of flesh and bloud ; They for the learned Doctors call , Who straight appear'd in place call'd Hall : Woman that brought her husband thither , And was sore in mouth call'd nether Did blush to see the man in gown , Fearing the tale would through the town ; Which shortly afterwards it did , For which the woman oft was chid . The Doctors gravely , and in quiet , Ask't him of his usual dyet : He told them Parsnips was the meat VVhich he most usually did eat ; By which conjectur'd 't is by all , No root is more spermatical . But now to ease his sore wives pain , A month these roots he must refrain ; VVhich willingly my stout Don did , And changing food lay still in bed : But she before the month had end Presented Parsnips to her friend ; And then he fell to wonted work As feirce as a broad shouldred Turk . Since Parsnips such a batning thing That makes both man and woman cling , And stick as fast to one another As glued boards , why then plump brother Eschew not this so lusty food , Which both for flesh and pleasures good . Some slight the valour of the fat , And say they 're good for nought but chat : But I a story will unfold , Shall speak them hardy , stout and bold . Fat mortal into market comes , And spyed fat Eeles would oyle his gumms ; Then straight he hath a longing wish , To have those fat Eeles in his dish . So to the greesie wife that sold 'um , And on her short fat knees did hold 'um : He askt the price with greedy sense , She gripple wench said Eighteen pence : He in derision offered three ; So quarrel 'tween them grew to be . The peremptory Jade did rail , Her words did bruise like blows of flail ; But Pothecary having mettle , Removed her arse from off the settle : And made the whore that sold the Eele , The wait of hand on bare arse feel ; For he in market call'd Cheapside , Smote her blind face , sans nose , mouth-wide Belong'd to those unwashed cheeks , Where gardner might have planted leeks : But one thing more vexs Pothecary , To see the Fish-wives arse so hairy . But having thus his business done , Set down , the scold away did run : She to revenge this foul disgrace , Runs scolding after him apace . Poor man afrighted with the din , Beshit himself for fear of quean . The lane was narrow where he went , He stunck like alderman in tent ; The jade which seldom us'd to smell , But what from her own bunghole fell ; Left off the chace , it was so strong , And so returned with the wrong . And so I leave her to the scorn Of those at Bilingsgate , duckt each morn ; This for Land-service , which doth show Fat men their teeth for valour owe. Now for their sea , of which I 'le speak , What shall not shew their valour weak ; As horses in storm a ship doth poise , By his resisting waves that rise ; Let no fond man the truth deride , For horse doth make to th' rising side : So fat mans bunghole being open , Keeps saylors all from being a slopen . He stench abundant forth doth send , Making each boy stand to ropes end ; By which we finde it requisite Fat men aboard in storm do shite . He that at fun le ts out a peck Is a prime man to scoure a deck : Now for your female valour I Some rare examples shall descry . Let us look ore the water there , Where guts are carryed to the bear : I mean that London spoyling burrough , Which you to Kent must ride clean thorough Those that so treacherously let in Such mortals as make wealth a sin ; Which for their service late so rare , Shall have an asse for their new mayor ; But for the masters of their state In this discourse , I 'le not relate : The wenches with broad haunches I Intend in this place to descry ; Such whose large podes do roar as loud As wind doth in a tall ships shroud ; Their blasts are such as you with wonder , If not beheld , would swear were thunder . But when they rain and blow together , You never heard such stormy weather ; Such as will fright the wondering sense , And to the Nasus give offence . For like the touchhole of a gun , The sents perfumed from the sun : This for the virtue ; now the trade Of these sweet wives so roundly made ; Your neat panch clenser is a woman That spreadeth in the haunch most common . Your neat panch clenser is t●ipe-boyler , Which trade is a great finger-foyler . But these large wives with hubergums , Their tongues with railing bruise their gums ; And bones of armes in skin do rattle , When with their wenches they have battle : I could more instances recite Of womens valour when they fight , But now I mean to leave the theam , Of choler mixt with dirty fleam . Repeating something of fat Squire , Who alwayes shites when he 's in ire . The Officer of our wise Ward , Fat as a Bear or the Bearward , Which if you name but the word fight , Immediately it makes him shite . Let any man discharge a gun , And he as soon discharge's tun . It is his natural love to fighting , Makes him so prone and apt to shiteing . Nor altogether of their spleen , For all their choller is so keen ; Their loves do more abound than spite , And they do shew it when they shite . Fat man and wife together went To cleanse each others fundament ; For so well grown was either belly , They could not do 't themselves I tell ye . This I dare boldly say sans sinning , Shitten come shite is loves beginning , This further know , fat folks do scummer As much as Cows do give in Summer . And that must be a fruitful tail , That at one dunging fills a Pail . Nor is 't amiss that I recite The Parley they did use at shite : Dialogue . Kind words are worth a world of money : Qu. Dost thou piss love ? Ans. No , I shite hony . Such questions would the good man ask , When wife was troubled with the lask , For she when laskish shite so thin , It might have serv'd to shave a chin . Some think it needful to be sed Of love they used to shite in bed . Large panches did so shorten arme , Own privy members could not warme . Their Sausige-plumped fingers ends , But commonly like loving friends , In winter morning you may catch Her hand on — he fingring — Thus they do keep their fingers warm , Doing to neither any harm . Love in all ages was commended , And by Monarchy still defended . Fat people were the landed theams Of Iulius Caesar and King Iames. They keep their minds in such pure quiet , Which battens them as much as dyet . And now I leave the fat folks friends , Which musick maketh at both ends . For pode and throat they both extend , To make a sweet harmonious end . Ioane Easie got her a Nag and a Sledge , To the Privy-house for to slide , a The hole was be shit , That she could not sit , But did cack as she lay on her side : a She was not wind , For she sent forth a sound , Did stretch her fundament wide . a On the print of a Ladies foot , cut on the Leads of Kings Colledge Chappel , where before she had fallen . HEre once my Princess , when we first did meet , Made proud the Leads , and let them kisse her feet . They not contented with a part so small , Gave her a slip , and with that slip a fall ; So did they get the grace to kiss her hand , A better part than that whereon we stand . Bold saucy Leads , that ( as proud Coblers do ) Durst pass their bounds & touch above the shoe ; But why do I the Leads ambition blame ? Had I been they , I should have done the same ; Onely I would have melted at the meeting , And not have hurt her with so hard a greeting . But O! what name so bad by which to call Her servants negligence that let her fall ? Yet this excuse he hath , 't was rainy weather , And this his comfort , they fell both together ; Such falls before advancement I 'de prefer , And wish to fall again , so 't were with her . But see her triumph , where she fell before , Her foot stands now engrav'd , and slips no more , The conquer'd Leads in penance have received The print of that whose trust it once deceived : And wounded bears to all posterity The punishment of its disloyalty . A just requital , onely 't will be said , So rare a gemme should not be set in Lead . To a Lady commanding him to write a defiance to Love. DO I want torture then , that I Loves awful power must thus defie ? Or in old stories do you find , That Love is deaf as well as blind ? Or else do you resolve from hence , To non-plus my obedience ? Well then your own command doth move Me to blaspheme your self , and love . The Defiance . Once so foolish too was I , To doat on Natures vanity ; That trifle , woman , which they say , She made to pass the time away , When she had nothing else to do : ( And faith 't is very likely too ) O! I had a tedious fit Of love , methinks I feel it yet . I 'le swear it held me half an hour , But Cupid now I scorn thy power . Shew me in one Ladies eye Thy strength of thy artillery : Shew me a cheek where may be seen Thy sprightly wanton magazine , Shew me a lip that 's dyed in grain , With the hearts bloud of those 't 'as slain : Yet I have vowed I 'le never dye For that lip , or cheek , or eye . Shew me a neck , whose milky way Vie splendor with the King of day : Shew me a brest darts flames , although It self doth seem compos'd of snow : Shew me a belly so divine , Thou , though a god , wouldst make it thine : Yet Cupid , I the same dare tell ye , For all this neck , or breast , or belly , Shew me a thigh whose softnesse can , And whitenesse baffle Ledas Swan : Shew me a leg which would invite The strictest Hermite to delight ; Shew me a foot whose pretty shape Would make a Saint commit a rape ; Yet I have vow'd I le never dye , For that foot , or leg , or thigh . To a Lady on a fall , in which she had almost discovered more then all the World besides could shew . MAdam , pardon me , whilst I Repeat my happy misery , How the self same thing did cloy With excessive grief and joy . How cruel kind fate did me bless With fortunate unhappinesse . A wonder sure before unheard , The same thing should be wish't and fear'd . Who would not fear to see that fall ? Who would not wish there to see all ? 'T was such a sight , thus who but sees Doth blaspheme thee with his eyes . 'T was such a sight that hell defin'd , May truly be said to be blind . Cruel hands that were imploy'd , In a sin worse then a paricide . To keep that hid , which to have seen To total sum of blisse had been . This is my passion then I swore Those hands I 'le never kisse no more . This anger was true madnesse , I Had thus reveng'd your injury Upon my self , so I had been Tortur'd for what I thought your sin . You 'd use them better for to save Your self , then for to wound you slave . Since to hurt your self , to me Was the height of injury . But envy sure would never rest In so innocent a breast . 'T was court'sie made you so unkind , Lest those Letters should strike me blind Which your pure limbs unvaild display , ( Beams which disgrace the Prince of day . ) You thus in pity cheat my sight , And hide the dangerous delight . May he be blind that does not prize Such a sight above his eyes . You might have spar'd your pains to hear , 'T was a very needlesse care , ( When the steed 's stollen you shut the dore , ) Your eyes had struck me blind before . On a Knife that cut a Ladies finger . THe weapon Salve ( as some they say have found ) At distance heals , just so this knife doth wound ; For all that gash , I felt the greatest smart , Cutting your hand , Madam , you cut my heart . Then let me search my gall that I may see , What curses I can muster up for thee . May'st thou be alwayes more abhor'd by us , Than the keen knife of sister Atropos ; T' imploy thee may the basest beggar scorn , Unlesse to 〈◊〉 his nailes or cut his corn : Mayest the 〈◊〉 lost till thou art rusty , then By some me●●●●ick Butcher found agen ; And by him 〈◊〉 , onely for this intent , To rip up guts , and let out excrement : But why to curse thee do I keep this stir ? Briefly , mayest thou ne're more be us'd by Her. A Description of the miseries of a moneylesse Pocket . BBing me Raviliac who does defie All torments , with such gallant constancy ; And onely with one sudden oh ! complains , When they pour scalding oyle into his veines ; Let his stout heart but feel my pangs alone , An empty purse I 'le warrant makes him groane . Bring me a Stoick that sayes flat and plain , A wise man knows not so much thing as pain ; Let him alone to make him change hi●●ote , And swear a cut-purse worse then a●● throat . The pangs my mother did with m 〈…〉 ure , Were not so bad , as to want mo 〈…〉 ure ; I 'de wish , were I my enemy to n●sse , May his associate be an empty purse : Nor would I any greater crosses crave For him , than that he may not crosses have ; Then to see him I might most justly hope , Knight of the noble order of the rope . For you will find amongst that famous crue That make their wills of Hide-Park-corner , few , If you examine , but the reason why 'T was cause they wanted money they 'l reply : Nay I have tasted miseries far worse , The constant judgements of an empty purse . For if I come into a tavern , I Scarce from the Drawer get a by and by ; To trust one quart I cannot work on Will , Though I 'de pawn for it all Parnassus hill ; I offer'd too my horse , but he swore thus , I will not trust one pint on Pegasus : From thence to Clavels where I stand at door , And softly ask't Sue , hast thou e're a whore ? You speak sayes she , as if you had no money , Then with a pox I 'le help you to a cunny . If I by chance espye some old Comrade , He straight avoides , as if I had the plague ; And cause I ha'nt a token with such care , Shuns me as if I full of tokens were . Now say my rimes are dull , and you 'l say true ; And are not you as dull to read them too ? You might conclude before you read a bit , That he who money wants , must needs want wit. On a London Taylor who spoiled a Commencement Gown in the making . HOw is 't nine taylors make a man up , when One taylor is enough to mar nine men ? And more of women , for their large Vocation Acknowledgeth no bounds or limitation : Equal to Natures privilege , which shows Variety in our bodies , they in clothes : Nay more , a Badgers gate , a flaw or crack In any member , or a Lute-ca●e back ; Takes not so much from man , nor can deface him , So as an ill-cut garment can disgrace him . In the deep censuring judgments of gay Mutes , Who set upon the life and death of fuits ; If this be true , thou neither he nor she , In what manner hast thou injured me In spoyling of my Gown ? the neck too wide , Too long before , and then too short o' th' side ; My sleeves too small to laugh in ; then so high The wings start up , as if they meant to flye : Thus to be handled , thus for to be thum'd , It makes my Velvet fret , though never gum'd . But was my Gown cut in this uncouth guise ? And my Commencement-gown , when thousand eyes Were brought to gaze , and I to walk 'mongst those , Whose greatest part of brain lies in their clothes : Taylor , I will not damn or curse thee for 't ; Thou farest the better , but I wish a sort Of debtors fail , that thou full justly harm'd , As thou sit'st now cross-leg'd , mayst walk cross-arm'd . Many cross stitches mayest thou make , and meet Some Ruffians still to crosse thee in the street : Mayest thou still see thy self when thou shalt look In each thing cross'd , but in thy credit Book . And yet , if in sad silence of the night , Thou shalt be hunted by a merry spright ; I pray that drawing near thee he may find Crosses each part before but none behinde . Let Courtiers point a day , and coming then , Point thee another day to come agen ; Let fashions never change , let garments wear As long as Coriats shoes , or men go bear ; As in their better state , and women too , As some suppose , they are about to do . I cannot wish thee mischief in the wars , For thou art skil'd and prov'd in needle scars ; Yet let thine own goose press thee til thou faint , And though I never mean thou should'st be Saint : Let men invoke thy name , though then alone , When as their knife is strugling with a bone ; Farewell , and when thou bring'st thy long bill down , I 'le make 't as short as thou hast made my Gown . On a Bile . LEt others sing of heads , and some of cups , Of Mars , and Venus , and her after-claps ; I have a subject that gives me more matter , Than you , or I , or both , know how to utter . It is a Bile , what Epithete shall I Finde for to call so dull a creature by ? Shall I proclaim thee block-head ? and yet call Thee so , I can't , thou hast no head at all ; Could'st thou but get a head , and ripen faster , I would not break thy head , but add a plaister : Or shall I call thee coward , 'cause I find Thee alwayes in one place , and still behind ? Well , since thou art a coward , prethee play The cowards part , and quickly run away : Or shall I call thee ungrate , vexing me That brought thee up , and breeding gave to thee ? Yet prethee be not angry O my Bile ! Thou look'st to have bin praised all this while , Shall I commend thee then ? and so I will , Commend thee to the Surgeon and his skill . Reader forbear to frown or carp at least , For nought but corrupt matter here doth rest : Thus do I ease my paines , and when my bile Begins to rage , then I oppose my style ; Thus did that Roman Possidonius stout , And Scaliger did thus out-brave the gout . To a Gentlewoman from her formerly betrothed , but deserted servant , he being invited to the celebration of her Nuptials . WHy faire vow-breaker , hath thy sinne thought fit , I be the curst example of thy wit , As well as scorn ? Bad woman , did not I Deserve as much as quiet misery ? Be wise , and trouble not my suffering fit , For every sin I have repentance yet , Except for loving thee , do not thou presse My easie madnesse to a wretchednesse ; So high as that , lest I be driven so , As far from heaven as thou art , which I know Is not thine aime , for thou hast sinned to be , In place as in affection , far from me . Was I thy friend or kinsman ? had I ought ? What was familiar with thee saving thought ? A dream , some letters too that scattered lie , Neglected records of my misery ; I know no itch my silent sorrow moves , To beg a Bridal-kisse or paire of Gloves : Those are the lighter duties which they seek , Whose sleeps are found , & constant as the week Is in her course , and never felt the chance Of love amisse , but in a dream , or trance , And wak'd with gladnesse ; 't is not so with me , My days and nights are twins in misery . Bid me first catch the plague , wish me to be A witnesse to my mothers infamy ; Bespeak me to be sham'd , cause me to bring My self an Eunuch to a Gossiping . Upon record ; how desperate wer't thou bent T' invite me to a wedding Complement ? Should I come there when that the holy man , With his religious magick hath begun To tye thee from me , I might leap into A rage , and safely all your lives undoe : When heaven would be so courteous to disguise , The blood-shed with the name of sacrifice ; Silent as sorrows lodgings had I dwelt , Followed with my despair , and never felt Anger except in living , hadst thou bin Content with my undoing , but that 's sin . I never shall forgive thee to upbraide A wretchedness which thou thy self hast made : Heaven knows I suffered , and I suffered so , That by me 't was infallible to know How passive man is , Fate knew not a curse , But in thy new content to make it worse ; And that thou gav'st , when I so low was brought , That I knew nought but thee , and then I thought , And counted sighs and tears ; as if to scan The aire and water which composeth man ; Diseas'd I was , diseas'd , past thine own cure , Yet would'st thou kill what made me to endure : My patience , strange murderess , would you prove , Whether that were as mortal , as your love ? Have women such a way as they can give To men denial , and with love to live ? Why then abhor'd in reason tell me why , Successelesse Lovers do so quickly die ? And be it so with me ; but if a curse May first be fasten'd on thee which is worse Than thy unwept-for vow-breach , may it come , As thy sins heap , and may the tedious sum , Of thy great sins stand centinel to keep Repentance from thy thoughts breach ; may thy sleep Be broken as my hopes , 'bove all may he Thou chufest husband grow to jealousie ; Then find it true , and kill thee may the themes , On which thy thoughts do paraphrase in dreams . Be my sad wrongs , and when some other shall , Whom Fate with me hath made apocriphall In loving stories search and instance forth , To damn his mistress for as little worth ; Let thy name meet him , under which let be , A common place of womens perjury ; May heavens make all this true , and if thou pray Let God esteem it as thou didst the pay Of thy last promise ; I have said be free , This pennance done , my day of destiny By thee is antidated , but three sighs . First I must pay admission to the skies , One for my madness to love women so , That I could think thee true ; the next I 'le throw For wronged Lovers , that I 'le breath anew ; The last shall beg my curses be made true . The Royal Captive , or the Worlds Epitome . 1. HOw happy 's the prisoner that conquers his fates With silence , and nere on bad fortune complains ; But carelesly plays with his keys on the grates , And makes a sweet consort with thē & his chains . He drowns care with Sack when his heart is opprest ; And makes it to float like a Cork in his brest . Then since we 're all slaves that Highlanders be , And the land 's a large prison inclos'd with the sea , We 'l drink up the Ocean and set our selves free , For man is the worlds Epitome . 2. Let Tyrants wear purple deep dyed in the blond Of those they have slain their Scepters to sway , If our conscience be clear , and our title be good To the rags we have on us , we 're better than they . We drink down at night what we beg or can borrow , And sleep without plotting for more the next morrow . Then since we 're all , &c. 3. Let the Usurer look to his bags and his house , And guard that from robbers he has rak'd from his dettors ; Each mid-night cries thieves at the noise of a mouse : Then see if his bags are not bound in their feters . When once he is rich enough for a State-plot , Buff in one hour plunders what sixty years got . Then since we 're all , &c. 4. Come Drawer , and fills a peck of Canary , This brimmer shall bid all our senses good-night . When old Aristotle was frolick and merry VVith the juice of the grape , he turn'd stagerite . Copernicus once in a drunken fit found By the course of his brain that the world turn'd round . Then since we 're all , &c. 5. 'T is Sack makes our faces like Comets to shine , And gives beauty beyond the complexions mask . Diogenes was so in love with his wine , That when 't was all out , he dwelt in the Cask . He liv'd hy the sent of that wainscoated Room , And dying requested the Tub for his Tomb : Then since we 're all slaves that High-landers be , And the land 's a large prison inclos'd with the sea ; We 'l drink up the Ocean and set our selves free , For man is the worlds Epitome . The States New Coyn. 1. SAw you the States-mony new come from the Mint ? Some people do say it is wonderous fine ; And that you may read a great mystery in 't , Of mighty King Nol , the Lord of the Coyn. 2. They have quite omitted his politick head , His worshipful face , and his excellent Nose ; But the better to tempt the sisters to bed , They have fixed upon it the print of his Hose . 3. For , if they had set up his picture there , They needs must ha' crown'd him in Charles his stead ; But 't was cunningly done , that they did forbear , And rather would set up his Ar — than his head . 4. 'T is monstrous strange , and yet it is true , In this Reformation we should ha' such luck , That Crosses were alwayes disdained by you , Who before pull'd them down , should now set them up . 5. On this side they have circumscrib'd God with us , And in this stamp and coyn they confide ; Common-wealth on the other , by which we may guess That God and the States were not both of a side . 6. On this side they have a Cross and a Harp , And onely a Cross on the other set forth ; By which we may learn it falls to our part Two Crosses to have for one fit of mirth . 7. A Country-man hearing this , straight way did think , That he would procure such a piece of his own ; And knowing it like his wifes Butter-print , She should ha 't for a token when as he came home . 8. Then since that this is the Parliament coyn , Now Lilly by thy mysterious charms , Or Heralds , pray tell us if these ha' not been Carmen or Fidlers before by their Arms. The Brewer . 1. OF all the trades that ever I see , There 's none to the Brewer compared may be ; For so many several wayes works he , Which no body can deny . 2. A Brewer may put on a noble face , And come to the wars with such a grace , That he may obtain a Captains place ; Which no body , &c. 3. A Brewer may speak so learnedly well And raise strange stories for to tell , That he may become a Colonel ; Which no body , &c. 4. A Brewer may be a Parliament-man For so his knavery first began , And work the most cunning plots he can ; Which no body , &c. 5. A Brewer may be so bold a Hector That when he has drunk a cup of Nectar , He may become a Lord Protector ; Which no body , &c. 6. A Brewer may do all these things you see Without controul , nay he may be Lord-Chanceller of the University : Which no body , &c. 7. A Brewer may sit like a Fox in his cub And preach a Lecture out of a tub , And give the world a wicked rub ; Which no body , &c. 8. But here remaines the strangest thing How he about his plots did bring , That he should be Emperour above a King ; Which no body can deny , deny ; Which no body dares deny . The disloyal Timist . 1. NOw our holy wars are done , Betwixt the Father and the Son ; And since we have by righteous fate , Distrest a Monarch and his mate . And first their heirs fly into France To weep out their inheritance ; Let 's set open all our packs , Which contain ten thousand wracks ; Cast on the shore of the rea Sea Of Naseby , and of Newbery . If then you will come provided with gold , We dwell Close by hell , Where wee 'l fell What you will , That is ill ; For charity waxeth cold . 2. Hast thou done murther , or bloud spilt , We can soon get another name , That will keep thee from all blame : But be it still provided thus , That thou hast once been one of us ; Gold is the God that shall pardon the guilt , For we have What shall save Thee from th' grave ; Since the Law We can awe ; Although a famous Prince's bloud were spilt . 3. If a Church thou hast bereft Of its Plate , 't is holy-theft ; Or for zeal sake , if thou beest Prompted on to take a thief ; Gold is a sure prevailing advocate , Then come Bring a summe , Law is dumb : And submits , To our wits ; For it 's policy guides a State. The Resolute Royallist . 1. WHat though the ill times , Run cross to our wills ; And fortune still frowns upon us : Our hearts are our own , And shall be so still ; Then a fig for the plagues that light on us . 2. Let 's drink t'other cup To keep our hearts up , But let 't be the purest Canary ; For wee 'l never fear The crosses we bear , Let them plague us untill they be weary . 3. Wee 'l flatter and fear Those that over us are , And make them believe that we love them ; When their timing is past , We must carve them at last ; As they carv'd them that have been before them . 4. Let the Levite go preach For his Goose and his Pig , And drink wine at Christmas and Easter ; Let the Doctors give o're , Our lives to new Trig ; Wee 'l make nature fast , and wee 'l feast Her. 5. Let the Lawyer go ball Out his Lungs and his gall , For the the Plaintiffe , and for the Defendant ; At school the schollar lies Till like Flaccus he dies , With an ugly hard word at the end on 't . 6. Here 's a health to the man That delights in Sol-fa ; For Sack is his onely Rosin : A load of Hay ho Is not worth Ha , ha ! He 's a man for my money that draws in . 7. Then a pin for all muck , And a fig for ill-luck ; 'T is better to be blithe and frollique , Then to fight out our breath , Or to mould our own death ; By the Stone , the Gout , or the Collique . Cupid's Holy-day . LAdies , whose marble hearts despise Loves soft impressions , whose chast eyes Nere shot a glance but might be seen , Diana and her maiden teem Of Icy Virgins hence away , Disturb not our licentions play ; For now its Cupids Holy-day . Go glory in that empty name Of Virgin , let your idle flame Consume it self , while we enjoy Those pleasures which fair Venus boy Grant to those whose mingled thighs Are trophies of his victories , From whence new pleasures still arise . Those onely are admitted here , Whose looser thoughts nere knew of care Of mans imbraces , whose fair face Can give enjoyment such a grace , As wipes away that hated name Of lust , and calls their amorous flame A vertue free from fear or shame . With them we 'l number kisses till We pose Arithmetick , and fill Our hearts with pleasures , till it swells Beyond those bounds where blushing dwells . Then will we our selves intomb In those joyes which fill the womb , Till sleep possesseth Cupids room . At waking no repentance shall With our past sweetness mingle gall ; We 'l kisse again till we restore Our strength again to venture more : Then we 'l renew again our play , Admitting of no long delay , Till that we end our Holy-day . To his VVhore , who askt money of him . WHat is 't that fans my fancies thus ? So cool of late I 'm grown , Methinks I 'm not so rigorous , How quickly I lye alone ! Nor doth her absence with one sigh bemoan : Hence doth this chilness seize my back , This frost my bloud benumbe , When I to my Corina spake To yield to love , she ask't of me a sum , Would Cupid I had deaf been , or she dumb . Those glances I ador'd before , How do I now despise ? 'T is money onely makes a whore , She 's chast that with a thousand lies , For love , at such a one my members rise . Let Iove his Danaes enjoy , Nor envyed be for me . If e're Iane Shore my Mistresse cloy It shall be when I 'm old as he , Till then , I 'le ne're commit that Simony : If your affections pelf must imp , Go get another friend , My pocket ne're shall be my pimpe ; Nor will I for your love depend On dirt , yet no man shall more freely spend ; No , no , I will not rent your bed , Nor your smock tenant be ; I will not farm your white and red , You shall not let your — to me , I court a mistresse , not a Landlady . Judgement forbids me too ( my dear ) To keep thy love in pay , As hence it plainly doth appear ; Love's a little boy they say , And who but fools give children money pray ? Loves nakedness you do mistake , And hence proceeds your sin ; Which shews he will no money take , He hath no purse to put it in ; Then doe it freely , or for me go spin . The Captains Vagary . 1. Capit. PRethee Phil. art thou all steel , Let me feel , From the head unto the heel ? Wife . O my Docter Theodore Mayerne ; Hath me fill'd , Hath me fill'd , with steel and iron . 2. Capit. Sure 't was not her pale colour Made this stir , Nor the steel that troubled her , But the spleen and melancholly ; Cause she would , Cause she would not , Trolly lolly . 3. Surely now she will begin In the spring , Now the Birds do chirp and sing , For to purge her melancholly ; And play with , And play with , her Trolly lolly . 4. She no Cannon need to fear , Though she were Threatned to be storm'd each where : Let the Cannons roar and thunder , She 'l ne're start , She 'l ne're start , but she 'l lye under . Freeman . 1. SHe 's not the fairest of her name , Yet she acquires more than all her race , For she hath other features to inflame , Besides a lovely face : There 's wit and constancy , And charms that strike the soul more than the eye . 'T is no easie Lover Knows how to discover Such pure Divinity . 2. And yet she is an easie book VVrit in plain language for the meanest wit , A glorious out-side , and a stately look : Besides all justly fit , But age will undermine That glorious out-side that doth look so fine ; VVhen the common Lover Shrinks and gives her over , Then she 's onely mine . 3. To the Platonick that applies His sole addresses to the mind , The body but a temple signifies , VVherein the Saint's enshrin'd , To him it is all one , VVhether the wall be marble or rough stone : But in holy places , VVhich old Time defaces , More Devotion 's shown . Freemans Adieu to Love. 1. SUre 't was a dream , how long fond man have I Been fool'd into captivity ? My New-gate was my want of wit , I did my self commit , My bonds I knit : I mine own Gaoler was , the onely foe That did my freedom disallow : I was a prisoner 'cause I would be so . 2. But now I 'le shake my ponderous chains , and prove Opinion built the Gaoles of love ; Made all his bonds , gave him his bow , His bloudy arrows too , That murder so ; Nay , and those deaths which idle lovers dream Were all contriv'd to make a theam , For some carowzing Poet's drunken flame . 3. 'T was a fine life I liv'd , when I did dresse My self to court your peevishnesse ; When I did at your foot-stool lie Expecting from your eye , To live or die : Now smiles , or frownes , I care not which I have , Nay rather then I 'le be your slave , I 'le court the plague to send me to my grave . 4. Farewel those charms that did so long bewitch , Farewel that wanton youthful itch ; Farewel that treacherous blinking boy That profers seeming joy , So to destroy ; To all those night embraces , which as you Know very well were not a few ; For ever , evermore , I bid Adieu . 5. Now I can stand the sallies of your eyes , In vain are all those batteries , Nor can that love dissembling still Nor can that crafty smile , Longer beguile ; Nor those hard traps , which each hour you renew To all those witch-crafts and to you , For ever , evermore , I bid Adieu . Freeman . 1. FEar not my Genius to unfold Such silent thoughts as these , Let women born to be control'd , Receive them as they please ; For long usurped monarchy Hath made me hate such tyranny . 2. Let them and their magnetick charms , Like Harbingers before them ; Possesse the nselves with Cupid's arms , As baits for to adore them : I 'le nere commit Idolatry , On subjects born as well as I. 3. Their deities with them must fade , It cannot be deny'd ; And since those pretty things were made , Out of old Adam's side : We love them still , but know as thus , Because they are a part of us ; Then let it then suffice the Elves , To say we love them as our selves . The Antiplatonick . 1. FOnd love what dost thou mean , To court an idle folly ? Platonick love is nothing else , But meerly melancholy ; 'T is active love that makes us jolly . 2. To doat upon a face , Or court a sparkling eye ; Or to esteem a dimpled cheek Complete felicity , Is to betray one's Liberty . 3. Then pray be not so fond , Think you that women can Rest satisfied with complement , The frothy part of man ? No , no , they hate a Puritan . 4. They care not for your sighs , Nor your erected eyes : They hate to heare a man complain Alas ! he dies , he dies ; Believ 't they love a closer prize . 5. Then venter to embrace , 'T is but a smack or two ; I 'me confident no woman lives But sometimes she will do , The fault is not in her , but you . On the Souldiers walking in the New-Exbhange to affront the Ladies . I Le go no more to the New-Exchange There is no roome at all , It is so throng'd and crowed by The gallants of White-Hall ; But I 'le go to the Old Exchange Where old things were in fashion , For now the new's become the shop Of this blessed Reformation . Come my new Courtiers what d' ye lack , Good consciences if you do ; Here 's long and wide the onely wear , The strait will trouble you . You powdersellers here will thrive , No customers can you lack ; Onely resolve to change the dye , Your powder must be black ; And with you here , take my advice , Get Pistols stead of Puffes ; Instead of sweet-balls , bullets get , And gauntlet stead of muffes . Come my new Courtiers , &c. You that are Ribbon-sellers too , Your broken trades may patch , If you those guegawes can put off And barter them for match . You that fine Cabinets do sell , Your shops and ware may burn Her Ladyship hates all those toyes , A Snapsack serves her turn . Come my new Courtiers , &c. You that sell Books I pitty most , You are undone I see 't , Unlesse you will rebellion sell At a penny by the sheet : If so , you have a thriving trade , For customers go no further , For these bloud merchants at dear rates Engrosse all rape and murther . Come my new Courtiers , &c. Undone , undone Confectioners , Alas there is no hopes . Unlesse you will give o're your trades And set up Sutlers shops . Your Apricockes , your Ringo roots , Your Marmalad will not sell ; Get you conserves of bread and cheese . You 'l bear away the bell . Come my new Courtiers , what d' ye lack Good Consciences ? if you do , Here 's long and wide the onely weare , The strait will trouble you . Another . WHy should we not laugh and be jolly , Since all the World is mad ? And lull'd in a dull melancholly ; He that wallows in store Is still gaping for more , And that makes him as poor , As the wretch that nere any thing had . How mad is that damn'd money-monger ? That to purchase to him and his heirs , Growes shriviled with thirst and hunger ; While we that are bonny , Buy Sack with ready-money , And nere trouble the scriveners , nor Lawyers . Those guts that by scraping and toiling , Do swell their revenues so fast , Get nothing by all their turmoiling , But are markes of each taxe While they load their own backs VVith the heavier packs , And lie down gall'd and weary at last . VVhile we that do traffick in tipple , Can baffle the Gown and the Sword , VVhose jawes are so hungry and gripple ; VVe nere trouble our heads , VVith Indentures or Deeds , And our wills are compos'd in a word . Our money shall nere indite us , Nor drag us to Goldsmiths Hall , No Pirates not wracks can affright us ; VVe that have no estates , Fear no plunder nor rates , VVe can sleep with open gates , He that lies on the ground cannot fall . VVe laugh at those fools whose endeavours Do but fit them for Prisons and Fines , VVhen we that spend all are the savers ; For if thieves do break in , They go out empty agin , Nay the plunderers lose their designes . Then let us not think on to morrow , But tipple and laugh while we may To wash from our hearts all sorrow ; Those Cormorants which , Are troubled with an itch , To be mighty and rich , Do but toile for the wealth which they borrow . The Mayor of our town with his ruffe on , VVhat a pox is he better then we ? He must vale to the man with the buffe on ; Though he Custard may eat , And such lubbardly meat , Yet our Sack makes us merrier then he . The Horns . A Song . BRight Cynthia scorns alone to wear horns Unto her great grief and shame ; And swears by the light and the worlds despite , That men shall wear the same . The man in the Moon to hear this in a swoun , And quite out of his wits fell ; And feeling his front , quoth he , a pox on 't , My forehead begins to swell . Away straight he ròde in a Lunatick mood , And from his Mistress would run ; And swore in his heat , though he stood in a sweat He had rather go live in the sun . But he was well appeas'd that it other men pleas'd , For no man did mutter or mourn ; But without all affright and a great delight Did take to themselves the horn . The Lord he will go in his woods to and fro , Pursuing a Doe that is barren ; But while he 's in his Park , another in the dark May safely go hunt in his warren . The Citizen clown in his fur-faced Gown , And his doublet faced with ale ; Talks short but drinks thicker , while his wife like his liquor , Leaves working and relishes stale . Lo thus she behorns him , and afterward scorns him , Though he comes to be Mayor of the rout ; And holds it no sin to be occupied within , Whiles her husband is busied without . The Physician will ride to his Patient that dy'd Of no sickness but that did come ; But whilst abroad he doth kill with potion and pill , His wife takes a glister at home . The Lawyer to succour him with parchment and buckrum To London the next Term will ride , To open his case in his adversaries face , While his wife to his friend doth the like . Seven miles to and fro the professor will go To hear a sanctifi'd brother ; But while his zeal burns , his wife she up turns The whites of her eyes to another . The merchant he runs o're seas with his guns His mariners and his mates ; But whilst he doth please himself on the seas , Another may ride in his straits . The Souldier will go like a man to and fro , With a full resolution to fight ; While his wife with her friend , in her wanton arms pen'd , Doth make a boon boy before night . And although that he be well arm'd cap a pe , He must yield to a naked boyes scorn ; Or instead of bright Steel or Iron on his heel , Be content with a Helmet of horn . Thus each their wives love still , though they do prove Them to be false in their own sight ; But indeed you do well , the horn ( you can tell ) Was never a friend to the light . Pedegree . A Begger got a Bayliff , A Bayliff got a Yeoman , A Yeoman got a Prentice , A Prentice got a Freeman , A Freeman got a Master , And he begot a Tease , And so become a Gentleman , Then a Justice of Peace . This Justice got a daughter , And she is come to light , She stept unto the Court , And there she got a Knight , A Knight got a Lord , A Lord an Earl begot , An Earl got a Duke , This Duke he was a Scot. This Duke a Prince begot , A Prince of royal hope , He begot the Emperor , The Emperor got the Pope , The Pope got a Bastard , He was a noble spark , He lay with a Nun , And so begot a Clark. A Clark got a Sexton , A Sexton got a Vicar , A Vicar got a Parson , A Parson got a Vicar , And they were all made Prebends , And so they got a Dean , A Dean got a Bishop , A Bishop got a Quean . A Quean got five shillings , Five shillings got a smock , That got a Scotch prick , And there he got a pock . A Merchant got the pock , And set it in a Ring , And gave it to a Lady , That laid it to her thing . That gave it to her Page , That gave it to his master , That sent for the Surgeon , And laid to it a plaister . The plaister was too hot , It bred to him much pain , A nach was in his — And so this man — A Medley . 1. ROom for a gamester that plays at all he sees , Whose fickle faith is fram'd , Sir , to fit such times as these ; One that cryes Amen to ev'ry factious prayer , From Hugh Peters Pulpit to St. Peters Chair : One that can comply with Crosier and with Crown ; And yet can bouze A full carouze , While bottles tumble down , Dery down . 2. This is the way to trample without trembling , Since Sycophants onely secure ; Covenants and Oaths are badges of dissembling , 'T is the politique pulls down the pure : To plunder and pray , To protest , and betray Are the only ready wayes to be great , Flattering will do the feat . Ne're go , ne're stir Have ventred farther ; Then the greatest of our Damme's in the Town From a Copper to a Crown . 3. I am in an excellent humor now to think well , And I 'me in another humor now to drink well ; Fill us up a Beer-bowl boy , That we may drink it merrily : And let none other see Nor cause to understand , For if we do , 't is ten to one we are Trepand . 4. Come fill us up a brace of Quarts , VVhose Anagram is call'd true hearts ; If all were true as I would ha' them , And Britain were cur'd of its humor , Then I should very well like my fate , And drink off my wine at a freer rate Without any noise or rumor ; And then I should fix my humor . 5. But since 't is no such matter change your hue , I may cog , and flatter , so may you ; Religion Is a wigeon , And reason Is treason ; And he that hath a noble heart may bid the world Adieu . 6. We must be like the Scotish man , Who with intent to beat down schism Brought forth a Presbyterian ; A Canon and a Catechism . If Beuk won't do 't , then Iocky shoot , The Kirk of Scotland doth command ; And what hath bin since he come in , I am sure we ha cause to understand . Medley . 1. The Scot. I Am the bonny Scot Sir , My name is mickle Iohn ; 'T is I was in the plot Sir When first the wars began , I left the Court one thousand Six hundred forty one ; But since the flight At Worster fight We all are undone . I serv'd my Lord and Master When as he liv'd at home , Untill by sad disaster He receiv'd his doom ; But now we sink , Uds bred I think The Deel's gat in his room . He ne man spares But stamps and stairs At all Christendom . 2. I have travel'd mickle grounds , Since I came from Worster bounds ; I have gang'd the jolly rounds Of the neighbouring nations , And what their opinions are Of the Scotch and English war , In geed faith I sal declare , And their approbation . Iockie swears He has his load , Bears the rod Comes from God , And complaints go very odd Since the siege at Worster : VVe were wounded Tag and rag , Foot and leg , VVemb and crag ; Hark I hear the Dutchman bag , And begin to bluster . 3. The Dutch. Uds Sacraments sal Hoghen Moghen States Strike down der top sails unto puny Powers ; Ten towsand tun of Tivel Dammy Fates , If dat der ships and goods prove not all ours : Since dat bloot and wounds do delight dem , Tararara Trumpets sounds , Let Van Tromp go fort and fight dem ; All de States shall first be crown'd , English Skellam fight not on goat side , Out at last de Flemins beat Dey ha giv'n us sush a broad-side ; Dat ick sal be forc't to retreat , See de French-man he comes in complete . 4. The French. By Gat monsieur 'tis much in vain For Dushland , France , or Spain To crosse de English main ; De Nation now is grown so strong , De Divla er 't be long Must learna de same tongue . 'T is bettra den far to combine To sel dem wine , And teasha dem to make der Laty fine ; Wee 'l teash dem for to trip and minsh , To kick and winsh ; For by de swo●d we never sal convince , Since every Brewer dere can beat a Prince . 5. The Spaniard . What are de English to quarrel so prone , Dat dey cannot now adays let deir neighbour alone And sal de grave and de Catolique King , Before ever dus control'd wid a sword & a sling ; Sal bode de Indias be left unto desway , And purity a dose dat do plunder and pray : E're dat we will suffer such affronts for to be , Wee 'l tumble dem down , as you sal sennon see . 6. The Welch . Taffy was once a Cottamighty of Wales Put her Cosin O. P. was a Creater , Was come in her Country Catsspluttery nailes , Was take her welch hook and was peat her ; Was eat up her Sheese Her Tuck and her Geese , Her Pick , her Capon was ty for 't ; Ap Richard , ap Owen , ap Morgan , ap St●●en , Ap Sbinkin , ap Powel was fly for 't . 7. The Irish. O hone , O hone , poor Teg and shone O hone may howl and cry Saint Patrick help dy Country-men , Or fai● and trot we die ; De English steal our hoatt of of Usquebagh , Dey put us to de sword all in Dewguedagh : Help us St. Patrick we ha no Saint at all but dee , O let us cry no more , O hone , a cram , a cree ! 8. The English. A Crown , a Crown , make room The English man is come , Whose valour Is taller , Then all Christendom : The Spanish , French , and Dutch , S●oech , Welch , and Iris● grutch ; We fear not We care not , For we can deal with such . You thought when we began in a civil war to wast Our tillage Your pillage Should come home at last : For when we Could not agree , You thought to share in our fall ; But nere stir Sir For first Sir , We shall noose you all . Medley . 1. The English. LEt the Trumpets sound And the rocks rebound , Our English Natives comming ; Let the Nations swarm , And the Princes storm ; We value not their drumming . 'T is not France that looks so smug Old fashions still renewing , It is not the Spanish shrug , Scotish Cap , or Irish rug ; Nor the Dutch-mans double jug Can help what is ensuing ; Pray my masters look about , For something is a Brewing . 2. He that is a Favorite consulting with Fortune , If he grow not wiser , then he 's quite undone ; In a rifing creature we daily see certainly , He is a retreater that fails to go on : He that in a Builder's trade Stops e're the roof be made , By the aire he may be betray'd And overthrown : He that hath a race begun , And let 's the Goale be won ; He had better never run , But let t'alone . 3. Then plot rightly , March sightly , Shew your glittering arms brightly : Charge hightly , Fight sprightly ; Fortune gives renown . A right riser Will prize her , She makes all the world wiser ; Still try her , Wee 'l gain by her A Coffin or a Crown . 4. If the Dutchman or the Spaniard Come but to oppose us , We will thrust them up at the main-yard , If they do but but nose us : Hans , Hans , think upon thy sins , And then submit to Spain thy master ; For though now you look like friends , Yet he will never trust you after ; Drink , drink , give the Dutchman drink , And let the tap and kan run faster ; For faith , at the last I think A Brewer will become your master . 5. Let not poor Teg and Shone Vender from der houses , Lest dey be quite undone In der very Trowzes : And all der Orphans bestow'd under hatches , And made in London free der to cry matches ; St. Patrick wid his Harp do tun'd wid tru string Is not fit to untie St. Hewson's shoos-strings . 6. Methinks I hear The welch draw near , And from each lock a louse trops ; Ap Shon , ap LLoyd , Will spen'd her ploot , For to defend her mouse-traps : Mounted on her Kifflebagh With coot store of Koradagh , The Pritish war begins . With a hook her was over come her Pluck her to her , thrust her from her , By cot her was preak her shins . Let Ta●●y fret , And welch-hook whet , And troop up pettigrees ; We only tout Tey will stink us out , Wit Leeks and toasted Sheeze . 7. But Iockie now and Iinny comes , Our Brethren must approve on 't ; For pret a Cot dey beat der drums Onely to break de Couvenant . Dey bore Saint Andrew's Crosse , Till our army quite did rout dem , But when we put um to de losse De deal a Crosse about dem : The King and Couvenant they crave , Their cause must needs be further'd ; Although so many Kings they have Most barbarously , basely murther'd . 8. The French. The French-man he will give consent , Though he trickle in our veins ; That willingly VVe may agree , To a marriage with grapes and graines : He conquers us with kindness , And doth so far entrench , That fair , and wise , and young , and rich , Are finified by the French : He prettifies us with Feathers and Fans , VVith Petticoats , Doublets , and Hose ; And faith they shall Be welcome all If they forbear the nose . For love or for fear , Let Nations forbear ; If fortune exhibit a Crown , A coward he Must surely be , That will not put it on . To his Mistresse denying him to lie with her . HAte me dear soul , & say no more you love , If I must onely know what is above ; To kiss your lips and hands , these be but toys , And torments to a Lover , and not joyes . I hate the wanton folly of a kisse , If not a passage to a further blisse ; Men do seek mines in women , and if so , You must give leave to them to dig below : The barren face of earth , since natures arts , Hath hid such treasures in the lower parts : Why you so coy ? youl 'd fain be marryed Before that you would lose your maidenhead ; Then may I claim it as my right and due , The Law doth give it me ; it is not you . If you would have your kindness to be shown Bestow it freely while it is your own . Upon a Christmas Dinner in a Prison . HOld hoops and hinges , burst not I beseech Your ribs with laughing , at my hungry speech ; Hold fast , be sure with both your hands for fear Your sides should burst and spoile your hungry chear . Listen you Plum-broth Bolchins to the fate , Of a distressed prisoner , you that sate And lade your gorgeous mawes with stately chines , And lusty gamones , while poor virtue pines ; Feeding on nothing but thin contemplation And barren thoughts ; pity the sad relation Of the cold feast I kept on Christmas last , More justly may I call 't a solemn fast : When all your mouths in an united motion At meat , walk'd faster then at your devotion Of morning prayers ; I unthought of lay In a dark sullen Chamber , where the day Seem'd but a clear night ; nor could I get , To satisfie poor nature one small bit . It would have turn'd the stomack of a cook , With grief , to see how piteous I did look . The little animals did skip and trice About my musty Cell , there yelped mice ; Alas thought they , will no one us befriend , So much as with a Christmas Candles end ? Well fare the Chandlers wife , and may she bear Each year a Chub , we pray thee nature where The mid-wife leapes to see about the house , A Groaning-Cheese delivered of a mouse : These in my conscience if they could have spake , Had sung the lamentations for my sake , Though I deserv'd no love ; and for my part , I could have eaten them with all my heart . I wish'd my self a prisoner in the Tower , For its allowance sake for half an hour ; A Judges tongue , sopt in his greasie hand , Had been the choicest morsell in the Land. The picking of his teeth too had been rare ; But that so often lick'd with lyes they are . A tender Cou●tier , though scarce sound withall I could have swallowed up , cloaths , legs , and all ; But for a fear , grant pumpt and storm and wind This roguish bit I 'de eat , and had combin'd His carcasse still ; and swallowed whole the evil , Sending his soul the back-way to the devil : I do believe ( such was my hungers force ) I could have eaten my L. Mayors great horse . Thus well-nigh famish'd with conceit I lay , Striving to sleep , and so forget the day ; But I no sooner half asleep could be , But straight my entrails crok'd , and waken'd me : Silence quoth I , you chimes of Christmas noon , And be content to fast with me till soon ; It may be we shall sup , if not I 'le fill My belly with a dream , good guts be still ; But fortune unexpected to prevent Despair , afforded me a limb of Lent : Sure she had strange reason in preferring Before all meats a reverent red Hering . I 'm loath to tell thee plainly what it was , For fear your mouth should water as you pass And wrong this harmless paper by its side , Lay a neglected crust forth roughly dry'd ; That it had been sometimes mi●●ook by one , That rub'd his boots with 't for a pumy stone : Hard fare , be witness heaven , and my jawes That ak'd , and bled , most freely through the flawes The crust had made upon my tender gums , It scowr'd , I thought 't was sand , not white bread crums : This if you will believe a virtuous sinner , VVas my best fare , for my last Christmas dinner : I wish , not having known the like before , I may fare better next , or nere know more ; Sir , since my muse can make no better shift , My Christmas dinner be your next years gift . An Amorous Catch . 1. I See how unregarded now That piece of beauty passes , There was a time , when I did vow To thee alone ; but mark the fate of faces That red and white works now no more on me , Then if it could not charm , or I not see . 2. And yet the face continues good , And I have still desires ; And still the self-same flesh and bloud , As apt to melt , and suffer from those fires : O some kind power unriddle where it lies , VVhether my heart be faulty , or her eyes . 3. She every day her man doth kill , And I as often die ; Neither her power , nor my will VVhere lies the mystery ? Sure beauties Empire like to other states , Hath certain Periods set , and hidden fates . Another . 1. BOast not blind boy that I 'me thy prize , 'T was not thy dart ; But those that feather'd with her eyes , First strook my heart , Thy ill-tutor'd shaft and childish Bow On faintly , loving hearts bestow . 2. I vaunt my flames , and dare defie Those bug-bear fires ; That onely serve to terrifie Fools fond desires . Hold up to such thy painted flame As tremble , when they hear thy name . 3. My breast no fire , nor dart could pierce ; But holy flashes : Swifter then lightning , and more fierce Burnt mine to ashes . Come let them sleep in unknown rest , Since fate decreed their Urn , her brest . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : Or the Man-hater . 1. I Can love for an hour , when I 'me at leasure , He that loves half a day sins without measure ; Cupid come tell me , what art hath thy mother To make me love one face , more then another . 2. Men to be thought more wise daily endeavour , To make the world believe they can love ever ; Ladies believe them not , they will deceive you , For when they have their wills , then they will leave you . 3. Men cannot feast themselves with your sweet features , They love variety of charming creatures ; Too much of any thing sets them a cooling , Though they can do nothing they wil be fooling . Another Catch . YOu say you love me , and you swear it too ; But stay Sir 't will not do : I know your oaths , Just as your wearing cloaths ; Whil'st now , and fresh in fashion , But once grown old you lay them by Forgot like words were spoke in passion , I 'le not believe you , I. The Frollique . THere 's none but the glad-man , Compar'd to the mad-man , Whose heart is still empty of care : His fits and his fancies Are above all mischances , And mirth is his ordinary fare : Then be thou mad , And he mad ; Mad all let us be , There 's no men lead lives more merry than we . The Tinkers . 1. HA' you any work for a Tinker mistris ? Old brass , old bowles , old kettles , I 'le mend them all with a faradiddle-twang , And never harm your mettals . 2. But first let me taste a cup of your Ale , To steel me against cold weather , For Tinkers fees , are Vintners Lees , Or Tobacco choose you whether . 3. Then of your Ale , of your nappy Ale , I wish I had a firkin ; For I am old , and very , very cold ; Yet I never wore a Jerkin . The Toper . 1. HOld , hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom , And hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom ; 'T is thy pot , And my pot ; And my pot , And thy pot : Sing hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom. 2. 'T is malt that will cure thy maw Tom , And heal thy distempers in Autumn ; Felix quem facient I prethee be patient , Aliena pericula cautum . 3. Then hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom , Hold , hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom. There 's neither Parson , nor Vicar , But will tosse off his liquor , Sing hold thy nose to the pot Tom , Tom. Half mild , and half stale . 1. UNderneath the Castle-wall the Queen of love sate mourning , Tearing of her golden locks , her red-rose cheeks adorning ; With her Lilly white hands she smote her brest , And said she was forsaken ; With that the mountains they did skip , And the hills fell all a quaking . 2. Underneath the rotten hedge , the Tinker's wife fate shiting , Tearing of a Cabbidge leaf , her shitten Ar — a wiping ; With her cole-black hands she scratcht her Ar — And swore she was beshitten , With that the Pedlars all did skip , And the Fidlers fell a spitting . A Resolution not to marry . IF she be fair I fear the rest , If she be sweet I 'le hope the best , If she be fair they 'l say she 'l do , If she be foul she 'l do so too . If she be fair she 'l breed suspect , If she be foul she 'l breed neglect . If she be born o' th' bettet sort , Then she doth savour of the Court : If she be of the City born , She 'l give the City arms , the Horn. If she be born of parents base , I scorn her vertues for her place . If she be fair and witty too , I fear the harm her wit may do : If she be fair and do want wit , I love no beauty without it . In brief , be what she will , I 'm one That can love all , but will wed none . Another . 1. I Am resolv'd in my belief , No woman has a soul But to delude , that is the chief To which their fancies roul ; Else , why should my Aemilia fail , When she her faith had given : Since oaths , that either ears assail , Recorded are in Heaven . 2. But as the Chymists glowing fire Swels up his hope of prize , Untill the spirits quite expire , And so his fortune dies : So , though they seem to chirp and speak What we do most implore ; They but enflame us till we break , And never mind us more . Song . I Prethee sweet heart grant me my desire , For I 'm thrown as the old Proverb goes ; Out of the frying-pan into the fire , And there is none that will pity my woes ; Then hang or drown'd thy self my muse , For there is not a T. to chuse . Most maides prove coy of late , though they seem holyer , Yet I believe they are all of a kind ▪ Like will to like , quoth the Devil to the Collier ; They will prove true when the Devil is blind , Let no may yield to their desire ; For the burnt childe still dreads the fire . What though my love as white as a Dove is ? Yet you would say if you knew all within , That shitten come shites the beginning of Love is ; And for her favour I care not a pin ; No love of mine she e're shall be , Sir reverence of your company . Though her disdainfulness my heart hath cloven , Yet I am of so stately a mind , Nere to creep into her arse to bake in her oven : 'T is an old Proverb , that cat will to kind ; No , I will say untill I die , Farewel and behang'd , that 's twice god buy . Alas no rejoycing or comfort I can take , In her that regards not the worth of a lover , A T. is as good for a sow as a pancake : Swallow this Gudging , I 'le fish for another ; She nought regards my aking heart , Tell a mare a tale , and she 'l let a fart . I am as sure as my shooes are made of leather Without good advice , or fortunate helps We two shall never set our horses together , This is so like a Bear that is rob'd of her whelps ; Therefore of me it shall nere be said I have brought an old house upon my head . Fall back , fall edge , I never will bound be , To make a match with tag rag or longtale ; Best is best cheap if I miss not the naile ; Shall I toile gratis in their durt ? First they shall do as doth my shurt . Solicitation to a marryed Woman . THou dost deny me cause thou art a wife , Know she that 's marryed lives a single life That loves but one ; abhor the nuptial curse Ty'd thee to him , for better and for worse . Variety delights the active bloud , And women the more common the more good : As all goods are , their 's no adultery ; And marriage is the worst monopoly . The learned Roman Clergy admits none Of theirs to marry ; they love all , not one ; And every Nun can teach you 't is as meet , To change your bed-fellow , as smock or sheet : Say , would you be content onely to eat Mutton or Beef , and taste no other meat ? It would grow loathsome to you , and I know , You have two pallats , and the best below . Tom of Bedlam . FRom forth the Elizian fields A place of restlesse soules , Mad Maudlin is come , to seek her naked Tom , Hells fury she controules : The damned laugh to see her , Grim Pluto●colds ●colds and frets , Caron is glad to see poor Maudlin mad , And away his boat he gets : Through the Earth , through the Sea , through unknown iles Through the lofty skies Have I sought with sobs and cryes For my hungry mad Tom , and my naked sad Tom , Yet I know not whether he lives or dies . My plaints makes Satyrs civil , The Nimphs forget their singing ; The Fairies have left their gambal and their theft The plants and the trees their springing . Mighty Leviathan took a Consumption , Triton broke his Organ , Neptune despis'd the Ocean ; Flouds did leave their flowing , Churlish winds their blowing , And all to see poor Maudlins action . The Torrid Zone left burning , The Deities stood a striving , Despised Iove from Iuno took a glove , And strook down Ran from whistling . Mars for fear lay couching , Apollo's cap was fir'd ; Poor Charles his wain was thrown into the main , The nimble Post lay tir'd . Saturn , Damas , Vulcan , Venus , All lay husht and drunk , Hells fire through heaven was rim , Fates and men remorseless Hated our grief and ho●●sness , And yet not one could tell of Tom. Now whi●her shall I wander ? Or whi●her shall I flye ? The heavens do weep , the earth , the air , the deeps Are wearied with my cry . Let me up and steal the Trumpet That summons all to doom ; At one poor blast the Elements shall cast All creatures from her womb . Dyon with his Heptune , Death with destruction , Stormy clouds and weather , Shall call all souls together . Against I find my Tomkin I le provide a Pumkin , And we will both be blithe together . A Song . SIR Egley More that valiant Knight , With his fa-la , lanctre down dille ; He fetcht his sword and he went to fight With his fa-la , and his lanctre down dille ; As he went over hill and dale , All clothed in his coat of male , With his fa-la , his fa-la , and his lanctre down dille● A huge great Draggon leaps out of his den , With his Which had kill'd the Lord knows how many men , With his But when he saw Sir Egley More , Good lack had you seen how this Draggon did 〈◊〉 , With his This Draggon he had on a plaguy hide , With his Which could both sword and spear abide , With his He could not enter with hacks and cuts , VVhich vext the Knight to the heart bloud and guts ; VVith his All the trees in the wood did shake , VVith his Stars did tremble and man did quake , VVith his But had you seen how the birds lay peeping , T' would have made a mans heart to a fallen a weeping . VVith his , &c. But now it was too late to fear , VVith his For now it was come to ●ight dog , fight bear , VVith his And as a yawning he did fall , He thrust his sword in hilts and all . VVith his But now as the Knight in choller did burn , With his He ow'd the Dragon a shrew'd good turn ; With his In at his mouth his sword he bent , The hilt appeared at his fundament . VVith his Then the Dragon like a Coward began to fly VVith his Unto his Den that was hard by ; With his And there he laid him down and roar'd ; The Knight was vexed for his sword , With his The Sword it was a right good blade With his As ever Turk or Spaniard made ; With his I for my part do forsake it , And he that will fetch it , let him take it . With his , &c. When all this was done to the Ale-house he went With his And by and by his two pence he spent ; VVith his For he was so hot with tugging with the Dragon , That nothing could quench him but a whole Flagon . VVith his Now God preserve our King and Queen , VVith his And eke in London may be seen , VVith his As many Knights and as many more , And all so good as Sir Eglemore . VVith his , &c. Cupid and the Clown . AS Cupid took his bow and bolt Some birding for to find , He chanced on a Country Swain Which was some Yeomans hinde . Clown . VVell met fair boy , what sport abroad ? It is a goodly day ; The birds will ●it this frosty morn , You cannot chuse but s●ay . Go haste , why Sir ? your eyes be out , You will not bird I trow ; Alas go home , or else I think The birds will laugh at you . Cupid . VVhy man ? thou dost deceive thy self , Or else my mother lyes , VVho said although that I were blind , My arrowes might have eyes . Clown . VVhy then thy mother is a Voole , And thou art but an elfe , To let thy arrowes to have eyes , And go without thy self . Cup. Not ●o Sir Swain , but hold your peace , If I do take a shaft ; I 'le make thee know what I can do , VVith that the plough-man laught . The angry Cupid drew his bow , Clo. For God sake kill me not ; Cup. I 'le make thy Leather-head to crake . Clo. Nay childe be loath of that . The stinging arrow hot the mark , And pierc'd the silly soul ; You might know by his hollow eyes VVhether love had made the hole . And ●o the Clown went bleeding home , To stay it was no boot ; And knew that he could see to hi● , VVhich could not see to shoot . A Song . SIr Francis , Sir Francis , Sir Francis his son , Sir Robert and eke Sir William did come And eke the good Earl of Southampton March't on his way most gallantly ; And then the Queen began to speak : You are welcome home Sir Francis Drake ; Then came my Lord Chamberlain , and with his white staffe , And all people began for to laugh . The Queens Speech . Gallants all of British bloud , VVhy do not ye saile on th' Ocean flood ? I protest ye are not all worth a Philberd , Compared with Sir Humphrey Gilberd . The Queens Reason . For he walkt forth in a rainy day , To the new-found Land he took his way , With many a gallant fresh and green ; He never come home agen , God bless the Queen . A Song . O Thou that sleep'st like Pig in straw , Thou Lady dear , Arise , Arise , Arise , Hoping to keep thy son in awe , Thy little twinkling eyes . And having stretcht both leg and arme , Put on thy whiter smock ; And for to keep thy body warm , Thy Peticoat and Dock . The shops were open'd long ago , And youngest Prentise go ho hoes , To lay at 's Mistress chamber door His masters shining shoes . Arise , arise , why should you sleep , Since you have slept enough ? Long since French boyes cry'd Chimny-sweep , And Damsels Kitchin-stuff . A Song . NOne but my self my heart do keep , A● I on Cowslip bed did sleep , Near to a pleasant boge ; Where thou my pretty ●ogue , With Knuckles knocking at my breast , Did ask for my three-corner'd guest , And whisphering said as soft as voice might be , Come forth thou little rogue to me . A thousand thousand fiends as black as foot , With all their dirty damms to boot , Take thee , O take thee every day , For stealing I and my poor heart away . This heart of mine for joy did leap , And follow'd thee even step by step ; Till tired at the last , 't was thick , and plump , and round before , Weighing a full pound weight and more : And now it 's sunk unto the skin , And is no bigger than head of pin . A thousand thousand fiends as black as ●oot , With all their durty damms to boot . A Song . ANdrew and Maudlin , Rebecca and Will , Margret and Thomas , and Iocky and Mary Kate of the Kitchin , and Kit of the mill , Dick the plow-boy , and Ioan of the Dairy , To solace their lives and to sweeten their labor , They met on a time with a pipe and a tabor . Andrew was clothed in shepherds gray , And Will had put on his holiday-Jacket ; Beck had a Peticoat of Popinjay , And Meg had a Ribbond hung down to her placket ; Meg and Molly in frize , Tom and Iackie in leather , And so they began to foot it together . Their head and their arms about them they flang With all the might and the force that they had ; Their legs were like flails , and as loosly hang , For they cudgel'd their arses as if they 'd been mad ; Their faces did shine , and their fires did kindle , And here they did trip it and turn like a spindle . Andrew chuckt Maudlin under the chin , Simper she did like a Furmity-kettle ; The sound of her blober-lips made such a din As if her chops had been made of bell-mettle : Kate laughing heartily at the same smack , She presently answers it with a bum-crack . At no Whitson-ale was ever yet seen Such friskers and frekers as those lads and lasses ; The sweat it run down their face to be seen , And sure much more run down from their arses ; Nay , had you been there you might well have sworn , You had ne're beheld the like since you were born . Here they did fling and there they did hoyt , Here a hot breath , and there went a savour ; Here they did glance and there they did lout , Here they did simper and there they did slabor ; Here was a hand and there was a ●lacket , While their skirts and their breeches went a ●●●ket a flacket . The Dance being ended , they sweat and they stank , The maidens did smerk , and the young men did kiss 'um , Cakes and ale flew about , they clapt hands and they drunk , They laught and they giggl'd untill they bepist 'um , Thus every young man gave each a greene mantle , While their breasts and their bellies went a pintle-te pantle . The Ghost . 1. T Is late and cold , stir up the fire , Sit close , and draw the table nigher ; Be merry and drink wine that is old , A hearty medicine 'gainst the cold . 2. Your beds of wanton flesh the best , Come ye and tumble to your rest : I could well wish you wenches to , But I am dead and cannot do . 3. Call for the best till the house doth ring , Sack , VVhite , Claret , let them bring , And tope apace whilst breath you have , You I find but cold drink in the grave . 4. Partriges , Plovers for your dinner , And a Capon for the sinner , You shall have ready when you are up , And your horse shall have his sup . Welcom , welcom , shall flye round , And I will laugh though under ground . The Priests Anthem . DEus , deus meus , Alta luce vigilo , In veritatibus . There was a Fryer of the sconce , And he could not say his Skence , He laid the maid down upon suspence , O it was for little good ! His name was Little Sir Walter , And he could not say his Psalter , But stood quivering behind the altar , Yet Lord , how his man-Kellam stood ! Onus , unus , verbum omnibus . Fryer Thomas came to Ninus , Desiring her to do him a pleasure . O good Sir , quoth she , I 'le tell you most certainly , When you shall find me at leisure . Then he took her up in his armibus . And he carried her into a cornibus , At the farther end of all the Cloyster ; He laid her down upon her bum , Ovis , in nobis , profectum , And there he opened hed Oyster . The Huntsman . 1. OF all the sports the world doth yield , Give me a pack of hounds in field , Whose eccho sounds shrill through the sky , Makes Iove admire our harmony , And wish that he a mortal were , To see such pleasures we have here . 2. Some do delight in Masks and Playes , And in Diana's Holy dayes . Let Venus act her chiefest skill , If I dislike I 'le please my will ; And choose such as will last , And not to surfeit when I tast . 3. Then I will tell you a sent , Where many a horse was almost spent , In Chadwel Close a hare we found , That led us all a smoking round ; O're hedge and ditch away she goes , Admiring her approaching foes . 4. But when she felt her strength to waste , She parlyed with the hounds in haste . The Hare . You gentle dogs forbear to kill A harmless beast that ne'r did ill : And if your masters sport do crave ▪ I 'le lead a sent as they would have . 5. The Hounds . Away , away , thou art alone , Make haste we say , and get thee gone ; We 'l give thee leave for half a mile , To see if thou canst us beguile : But then expect a thundering cry , Made by us and our company . 6. The Hare . Then since you set my life so light , I 'le make Black lovely turn to white ; And York-shire Gray , that runs at all I 'le make him wish in his stall ; And Sorrel , he that seems to fly , I 'le make him sickly e're he die . 7. Let Burham Bay do what he can , And Barton Gray , which now and than Doth strive to winter up my way ; I 'le neither make him sit nor play . And constant Robin , though he lie At his advantage , what care I ? 8. But here Kit Bolton did me wrong , As I was running all along ; For with one pat he made me so , That I went reeling too and fro : Then , if I die your masters tell , That fool did ring my passing-Bell . 9. But if your masters pardon me , I 'le lead them all to Througabby ; Where constant Robin keeps a room To welcome all the Guests that come , To laugh , and quaff in Wine , and Beer A full C●rouze to their Career . 10. The Hounds . Away , away , since 't is our nature To kill thee , and no other creature , Our masters they do want a bit ; And thou wilt well become the spit : They eat the flesh , we pick the bone , Make haste we say , and get thee gone . 11. The Hare . Your masters may abate their chear , My meat is dry ; and Butter dear ; And if with me they 'de make a friend , They had better give a pudding's end : Besides once dead , then sport they 'l lack , And I must hang on the Huntsman's back . 12. The Hounds . Alas poor Hare we pity thee , If with our nature 't would agree , But all thy doubling shifts we fear Will not prevent thy death so near . Then make thy Will , for it may be that May save thee ; else , we know not what . 13. Then I do give my body free , Unto your masters courtesie ; And if they 'l spare till sport be scant , I 'le be their game , when they do want : But when I 'm dead each greedy hound Will trail my entrails on the ground . 14. VVere ever dogs so basely crost ? Our masters call us off so fast , That we the sent have almost lost ; And they themselves must lose the roast , VVherefore , kind Hare we pardon you : Thanks gentle Hounds , and so Adieu . The Reform'd University . DAme Learning of late is fled the Land , Foul befal her suitors all , That could in her way no longer stand . Diogenes come , seek up and down At noon bright , with lanthorne and light To see if she be hid under a Gown . Thus the whole University pry , From the grand Doctor to the small fry Peep here , and peep there , the devil a scholler you 'l spy . The freshman that before he has eaten , All to gabbles his Predicables , Breaks his fast upon butter'd Seaton : VVho when he comes home to his mother confut's her Talking bigger of casting a figure In conjuring Sophoms , made by his tutor . Thus the whole University pry , &c. The Soph when speech extempore makes , Thinks he flyes in the skies , When a jest in false Latin he makes : Then led in triumph to the Sack tuns Thinks it fit to be drunk in wit VVhilst a tilt the Philosopher runs . Thus through the whole University pry , &c. The Doctor that comes up with his man , Promising Nan to commence if he can , And to buy mistriss Doctress a Fan ; That his wife may sit above and go finer , His silver he spends , and his Latin ends Venturing far to deny the minor Thus through the whole University , &c. At his act he was sullen in the fight , And would not answer : yet anon , Sir He 'l invite you kindly at night ; Though the poor Knight be cast off his crupper , And shrewdly fears he has wrong'd your ears He 'l make your pallats amends at supper . Thus the whole University , &c. The Emperik that to kill do's his endeavour Whilst he framed diseased names Able to cast a man into a Feaver : When he comes to dispute in form and matter , Looking as pale as his Urinal Shakes his head as he were casting of water . Thus the whole University , &c. The Lawyer that comes up with his grace , Forgetting in hast his Latin is cast , And abus'd into a pitiful case ; Then vext't with Priscian will not faile ( Though the action be of Battery ) To break his head , and cut off his taile . Thus through the whole University , &c. The Schcoolman his time in Nonsence spends , Breaks his brain about Captain , Sweats to make Scotus and Thomas good friends Learnedly scolding with reason doth cuffe ; Without doubt of the truth is out And sans question is wise enough . Thus the whole University , &c. The School-Divine that troubles his sence , If created he were in Paradise : Whether Adam did eat it in innocence ; If the apple was par'd that was eat at the fall , What need they had of a taylors trade , What thread the fig-leaves were sowed withall . Thus the whole University , &c. The Preacher that with fury doth rush on The Pulpit , threats and all to beats The thred-bare conscience of the poo● cushion Who from a Coblers stall is driven , Soules to mend to th' everlasting end , And sets 'em upright in the way to heaven . Thus the whole University , &c. Against the Pope poor man he takes on , All Bellarmine thwacks ; till his head akes Scourging the VVhore of Babylon : The roast-meat suffers for the sinner ; Till folk devout with the glasse run out , Swearing 't is heresie to lose their dinner . Thus the whole University , &c. The Orator that is bound to wear Sattin With his tantum's , and his quantum's On Tullies head seizes a part of his Latin : VVith Rhetorick cringe , to Embassadors prate , In metaphor fine with trope divine ; VVith a high timber'd stile , and a stately gate . Thus the whole University , &c. And to the Chancellour makes a great face Swell'd in puff-paste of Eloquence vast : The phrases in Godwins Antiquities trace . With ale-conceit like a herring bloat , With a candi'd voice , and action choice , Like a Gentleman with a bur in his throat . Thus the whole University , &c. The Poet that with the nine muses lies , Till he betrays some bastard playes , And undoes the Colledge with Comedies Though he anew translate rhe Psalmes , Sings painted laies for holy dayes ; Abuses devotion in Epigrames . Thus the whole University , &c. The Schoolmaster that makes many a martyr , Boyes can teach , and to women preach , For his half Crown once in a quarter : He laies about like a Demi-God , Picking riches out of their breeches , With a construing face , and a piercing rod. Thus the whole University , &c. The Freshman is simple , the Soph too false , The Philosopher sad , the Poet mad ; The Physitian weak , the Lawyer false , The Orator cold , the Preacher too hot ; The master of the school , and 's man a fool , The Divine too curious , and Doctor a sot . Thus through the whole University pry , From the grand Doctor to the small fry , And peep here , and peep there , the devil a Scholler you 'l spy . The shiftlesse Student . IN a melancholly study , None but my self , Methought my muse grew muddy , After seven years reading , And costly breeding I felt but could find no pelfe . Into learned wrags I have rent my plush and satten , And now am fit to beg in Hebrew , Greek , and Latin ; Instead of Aristotle would I had got a pattent . Alas poor schollar ! whether wilt thou go ? Cambridge now I must leave thee And follow Fate , Colledge hopes deceive me ; I oft expected To have been elected , But desert is reprobate . Masters of Colledges have no common graces , And those that have fellowships have but common places , And those that schollers are , they must have handsome Faces . Alas , &c. I have bow'd , I have bended , And all in hope One day to be befriended ; I have preach'd , I have printed , VVhat e're I hinted To please our English Pope . I worshipt toward the East but the sun does now forsake me , I find that I am falling , the Northern winds do shake me ; VVould I had been upright , for bowing now will break me . Alas poor scholler , &c. At great preferment I aimed VVitnesse my silk , But now my hopes are mained ; I lookt lately To live most stately On a Dairy of Bell-ropes-milk . But now alas ! my self I must not flatter ; Bigamy of steeples is grown a hanging matter , Each man must have but one , and Curates will grow fatter . Alas , &c. Into some Country Village Thither will I go , VVhere neither tith , nor tillage The greedy Patron , And parch'd Matron Swear to the Church they owe. These if I can preach and pray too on a sudden And confute the Pope at adventures without studying . Then ten pound a year , besides a Sunday pudding . Alas , &c. All the arts I have skill in Divine and humane Are not worth a shilling : VVhen the women hear me , They do but jeere me , And say I am profane . Once I remember I preached with a weaver , I quoted Austine , he quoted Dod and Cleaver ; I nothing got , he got a cloake and beaver . Alas , &c. Ships , ships , ships , I discover Crossing the maine ; Shall I in , and over , Turn Jew or Atheist , Turk or Papist , To Geneva or Amsterdam ? Bishopricks are voiding , Scotland shall I thither ? Or follow Windebank , or Finch to see if either Do want a Priest to shrieve them ? O no 't is blustring weather ! Alas , &c. Ho , Ho , Ho , I have hit it , Peace goodman fool Thou hast a trade will fit it ; Draw thy Indenture , Be bound at adventure An aprentise to a free-school . There thou mayst command by William Lillys Charter ; There thou mayst whip , strip , hang and draw , and quarter ; And commit to the red rod , both Tom , and Will , and Arthur . I , I , 't is thither , thither will I go . The Townsmen's Petition to the King that Cambridge might be made a City . NOw scholers look unto it , For you will all be undone , For the last week you know it The townsmen rid to London . The mayor if that he thrives , Has promis'd on his word , The King a paire of knives If he 'l grant him a sword ; That he may put the Beadles down , And walk in worship here ; And kill all Schollers in the town , That thus do domineere . And then unto the Court They do themselves repaire , To make the King some sport , And all his Nobles there . He down upon his knee , Both he and they together ; A sword he cryes ( good King give me ) That I may cut a feather . There 's none at all I have at home VVill fit my hand I swear ; But one of yours will best be come A sword to domineere . These schollers keep such reaks , As makes us all afraid ; For if to them a townsman speak They will pull off his beard . But if your Grace such licence gives , Then let us all be dead ; If each of us had not as live He should pull off his head . They call us silly Dunkirks too , VVe know not why nor where ; All this they do , and more then this , Cause they will domineere . A speech , if I do make , That has much learning in 't ; A scholler comes and takes't And sets it out in print . We dare not touch them for our lives ; ( Good King have pity on us ) For first they play opon our wives , And then make Songs upon us . Would we had power to put , And turn on them the jeer ! Then we 'd do the best we could But we would domineere . They stand much on their wit , We know not what it is : But surely had we liked it , We had got some e're this . But since it will no better be , We are constrain'd to frame Petitions to your Majesty These witty ones to tame . A sword would scare them all ( I say ) And put them in great fear ; A sword therefore ( good King ) we pray , That we may domineere . Which if your Grace permits , VVee 'l make them look about 'um ; But yet they are such pleasant wits VVe cannot live without ' um . They have such pretty arguments To run upon our score ; They say fair words , and good intents Are worth twice as much more : And that a Clown is highly grac'd To sit a scholler near ; And thus we are like fools out-fac'd , And they do domineere . Now if you will renew , To us your Graces Charter ; Wee 'l give a ribbond blew To some Knight of the Garter : A cap also we want , And maintenance much more ; And yet these schollers brag and vaunt As if they had good store . But not a penny we can see , Save once in twice seven year ; They say it is no policy Dunkerks should domineere . Now reason , reason eryes alas ! Good Lordlings mark it well ; A scholler told me that it was A perfect parallel . Their case and ours so equal stands , As in a way-scale true ; A pound of Candles in each hand Will neither higher shew . Then prethee listen to my speech , As thou shalt after hear : And then I doubt it not ( my Liege ) But we shall domineere . Vice-chancellours they have , And we have mayors wise ; ( grave VVith Proctours , and with taskers Our Bailiffes we may seize . Their silver staves keep much adoe , Much more our silver Maces ; And so methinks our Sergeants too Their Beadle-squires out-faces . And if we had a sword I think , Along the street to bear ; T' would make the proudest of 'em shrink And we should domineere . They have Patrons of Nobility , And we have our partakers : They 'ave Doctors of Divinity , And we our basket-makers : Their heads are our brethren dear , Their Fellowes our housholders ; Shall match them , and we think to bear Them down by head and shoulders . A sword therefore good King , we pray That we may keep them there ; Since every dog must have his day , Let us once domineere . When they had made the King to laugh And see one kiss his hand , Then little mirth they make , as if His mind they understand . Avoid the room an Usher cryes , The King would private sup ; And so they all came down like fools As they before went up . They cry'd God blesse his Majesty , And then no doubt ( they sweare ) They 'le have the town made a City , And there to domineere . But wot you what the King did think , And what his meaning was ; I vow unto you by this drink A rare device he has . His Majesty has pen'd it , That they 'l be ne're the better ; And so he meanes to send it All in a Latin letter ; Which when it comes for to be read , It plainly will appear ; The townsmen they must hang the head , And the schollers must domineere . The draining of the Fennes . THe up-land people are full of thoughts , And do despair of after-rain ; Now the sun is rob'd of his mornings draughts They 're afraid they shall never have shower again . Then apace , apace drink , drink deep , drink deep , Whilst 't is to be had lets the liquor ply ; The drainers are up , and a coile they keep , And threaten to drain the Kingdom dry . Our smaller rivers are now dry land , The Eeles are turn'd to serpents there ; And if old father Thames play not the man Then farewel to all good English Beer . Then apace , apace drink , &c. The Dutchman hath a thirsty soul , Our Cellars are subject to his call : Let every man then lay hold on his boul 'T is pity the German-Sea should have all . Then apace , apace drink , &c. Our new Philosophers rob us of fire , And by reason do strive do maintaine that theft ; And now that the water begins to retire We shall shortly have never an Element left . Then apace , apace drink , &c. Why should we stay here then and perish with thirst ? To th' new world in the moon away let us goe ; For if the Dutch colony get thither first , 'T is a thousand to one but they 'l drain that too . Then apace , apace drink , &c. Non-sense . OH that my lungs could bleat like butter'd pease ! But bleating of my lungs hath caught the itch , And are as mangy as the Irish seas , That doth ingender wind-mills on a bitch . I grant that Rain-bows being lull'd asleep , Snort like a woodknife in a Ladies eyes ; Which makes her grieve to see a pudding creep , For creeping puddings onely please the wise . Not that a hard-roe'd Herring should presume To swing a tithe-pig in a Cat-skin purse ; For fear the hailstones which did fall at Rome , By lessening of the fault should make it worse . For 't is most certain winter wool-sacks grow From geese to swans , if men could keep them so , Till that the sheep-shorn Planets gave the hint To pickle Pancakes in Geneva print . Some men there were that did suppose the skye Was made of carbonado'd antidotes : But my opinion is , a whales left eye Need not be coyned all King - Harry-groats : The reason 's plain , for Charons western barge Running a-tilt at the Subjunctive mood , Beckned to Bednal-green , and gave him charge To fatten Pad-locks with Antartick food . The end will be the mill-pools must be laded , To fish for whitepots in a countrey dance ; So they that suffer'd wrong and were upbraded , Shall be made friends in a left-handed trance . In praise of Ale. WHenas the Chilly Rock once blows , And winter tells a heavy tale , When Pyes , and Daws , and Rooks , and Crows Sit cursing of the frosts and snows ; Then give me ale . Ale in Saxon Rumken then , Such as will make grim Malkin prate , Rouseth up valour in all men , Quickens the poets wit and pen , Despiseth fate . Ale that the absent battle fights , And frames the march of Swedish drums , Disputes the Princes laws and rights , And what is past and what 's to come , Tells mortal wights . Ale that the plow-mans heart up-keeps , And equals it with Tyrants thrones ; That wipes the eye that over-weeps , And lulls in soft and secure sleeps The weary'd bones . Grandchild of Ceres , Barley's daughter , Wine 's emulous neighbour , if but stale ; Ennobling all the Nymphs of water , And filling each mans heart with laughter . Ha , ha , give me ale . A Riddle of a Goosberry . THere is a bush fit for the nonce , That beareth pricks and precious stones , The fruit of which most Ladies pull ; 'T is round , and smooth , and plump , and full , It yields rare moisture , pure and thick , And seldom makes a Lady sick ; They put it in , and then they move it , Which makes it melt , and then they love it : So what was round , and plump , and hard , Grows lanck , and thin , and poor , and mar'd ; The sweetness suckt , their holes wipe they And throw the empty skin away . A Bull Prologue . YOu that do sitting stand to see our Play Which must this night be acted , here to day , Be silent pray , though you aloud do talk Stir not a foot , though up and down you walk ; For every silent noise the Players see Will make them mute , and speak full angerly ; But go not yet , untill you do depart And unto us your smiling frownes impart ; And we most thankless thankful will appear , And waite upon you home ; but yet stay here . Another Prologue . BE blithe Fobdodles ! for my author knows How to delight your eyes , your ears , your nose ; But first of all your eyes shall pleased be With cloth of Gold , Tyssue and Taffare : Blow but your nose , and purifie that sense , For you shall smell perfumes and franckincense And eke soft musick : therefore sit you still , Smile like the Lilly flower , whilst trumpets sound , And our endeavours with your love be ctown'd . An Epilogue upon the honest Lawyer . Gentlemen , HE that wrote this Play ne'er made Play before And if this like not , ne're will write Play more And so he bid me tell you . Loves Progresse . WHo ever loves , if he do not propose The right true end of love ; he 's one that goes To sea , for nothing but to make him sick , ●nd love 's a bear-whelp born , if over lick Our love ; and cause it new strange forms to take We erre ; and of a lump a monster make . Were not a Calf a mons●et , that was grown ●ac'd like a man , though better then his own . ●●●fection is in Unity , so prefer ●he woman first : and then one thing in her . ● where I value Gold , may think upon ●he purity , the application ; The wholesomness , the ingenuity ; From rust , from soil , from fire for ever free ; But if I love it , 't is because its made By ( our new nature ) use , the soul of trade : All this in women we might think upon , If women had them , and yet love but one . Can men more injure women than to say , They love for that , by which they are not they Makes vertue woman ? must I cool my bloud Till I both find and see one wise and good ? May barren angels love so : but if we Make love to woman , vertue is not she ; As beauty is not , nor wealth ; he that strayes thu● From her to hers is more adulterous , Than he that took her maid . Search every sphere And firmament , our Cupid is not there : He 's an infernal god , and under ground With Pluto dwells , where gold and fire abound Men to such gods their sacrificing coals , Laid not on altars , but in pits and holes . Although we see celestial bodies move Above the earth , the earth we till and love : So we her heirs contemplate , words and heart , And vertues , but we love the centrique part . Nor is the soul more worthy or more fit For love than that , as infinite as it . But in attaining this desired place , How much they erre that set out at the face ? The hair a forrest is of ambushes , Of springs , snares , fetters and manicles : The brow becalms us , when 't is smooth & plain , And when 't is wrinkled , shipwrecks us again : Smooth , 't is a Paradise , where we would have Immortal stay : and wrinkled , 't is our grave . The nose like to the first meridian runs , Not twixt an East and West , but twixt two suns : It leaves a cheek a rosie hemisphere On either side , and then directs us where Upon the Islands fortunate we fall , Not faint Canaries , but ambrosial , Her swelling lips : to which when we are come , We anchor there , and think our selves at home : For they sing all their Syrens songs , and there Wise Delphick Oracles do fill the ear : There in a creek , where chosen pearls do swell The remora , her cleaving tongue doth dwell . Those , and the promontary fair , her Chin O're past ; and the straight Hellespont between The Sestos and Abidos of her brests , ( Not of two lovers , but two loves she nests ) Succeeds a boundless sea , but that thine eye Some Island moles may scattered there discry : And sailing towards her India in that way , Shall at her fair Atlantick Navel stay : Though thence the torrent be thy Pilot made , Yet ere thou come where thou wouldst be imbay'd , Thou shalt upon another forrest set : Where many shipwreck , and no farther get . VVhen thou art there , consider well this chace Mispent , by the beginning at the face . Rather set on 't below ; practise my art , Some symitry the foot hath with that part Which thou dost seek , and is as map for that ; Lovely enough to stoop , but not stay at : Least subject to disguise and change it is ; Men say the Devil-never can change his : It is the embleme that hath figured Firmness , 't is the first part that comes to bed . Civility we see refin'd ; the kiss Which at the face begun , transplanted is Since to the hand , since to th' Imperial knee , Now at the Papal foot delights to be . If Kings think that the nearer way , and do Kiss from the foot , lovers may do so too . For as free Spheres move faster far than can Birds , whom the air resists ; so may that man Which goes the empty and aetherial wayes ; Than if at beauties elements he stayes . Rich Nature hath in women wisely made Two purses , and their mouths aversly laid : Thus they which to the lower tribute owe , That way which that Exchequer looks , must go : He which doth not , his error is as great ; As who by Glister gives the stomach meat . I. D. A Song . OF all Occupations that now aday is used , I would not be a butcher for he 's to be refused : For whatsoever is gotten , or whatsoever is gain'd , He shall be called kill Cow , and so he shall be nam'd ; Low quoth the Cow , Blea quoth the calf , he calls to his wife for a rope , He makes her pull till her heart doth break , For fear he would cut her throat . The Tinker . For he sits all day quaffing and turning over the boul , And goes about from house , to house , to stop the good wifes hole ; ●ing quoth the metal , sound quoth the kettle , He calls to his wife for a hammer , He goes about from town to town Most like a Rogue in manner . A Taylor . For he sits all day pricking and wearing of his bones , He thrusts his needle through the seames And kills nine lice at once ; Snap quoth the sheares , bounce quoth the board , He calls to his wife for an iron , He burns himself all in the hand As if he had been a Felon . A Shoomaker . For he sits all day whisking and drawing forth of his thred , His foot is alway in the stirrop , yet seldom doth he ride ; Whiffe quoth the whetstone , rap quoth the dresser He calls to his wife for thred : He plucks the brisles from off the hogs back , And all for very pure need . A Black-smith . For he shooes many horses , that are both wilde and tame , And often times doth catch a knock , and so the smith goes lame : Knor quoth the horse , gip quoth the smith , he calls to his wife to blow , He flings the fire about the house , 't will scar the Devil I trow ▪ A Cooper . For he sits all day hooping and mending of a barrel , So let the knave have drink enough , he cares for no apparell ; Squirt quoth the can , drunk was the man He calls to his wife for his addis To stop a hole in her boulting tub , for he looks like on that mad is . A Baker . For he sits all day a bunting and bending of his knee , And if his bread be too little weight , the Pillory is his fee. Away goes the Baker , up goeth the ladder In goes his head to the hole , And all because his bread wants weight , According to the tole . A Weaver . For he earnes his money hardly & many of them complain , The Clothier takes away the thrumes , which was the weavers gain ; Whur quoth the trickle , quish quoth the shuttle , he calls to his wife for quills , They knit many a knot , in a thred-bare coat full sore against their wills . A Laywer . For hee l tell you many prittle prattle , and many a pretty thing , And when he hath your money got , you may go pipe and sing ; Squirt quoth the ink , blur quoth the pen , he calls to his wife for paper , There is no man in all the land , that will so cog and flatter . A Semster . And of all occupations that ever came in my mind , I would not be a Semster although she be so fine ; For she sits all day sowing , and hanging down of her head , And oftentimes she steals a kiss , whilst better she would be sped : Snip quoth the Scissers , rent quoth the cloth , and still she hath an eye to the door , Her husband he may sing Cuckoo , for she will play the who there ? A Saylor . And of all occupations that ever yet was named , Saylors they be Gentlemen , for so they must be termed ; For they sail far and near their Countrey to advance , They sail against the foaming seas in danger of mischance : Hard blows the gales , down goes the sails , 't is too late to call to his wife ; They shut themselves upon the rocks in danger of their life . Beggar . And of all occupations Begging is the best , Whensoever he is weary he may lay him down to rest ; For howsoe're the world goes they never take any care ; And whatsoever they beg or get they spend it in good fare . Up goes the staff , down goes the wallet , To the alehouse they go with speed ; They spend many a pot , they care not for the shot , This is the best occupation indeed . This hath his doxy , another is almost foxy , They have still a peny to their need , They drink many a pot , they care not for the shot : This is the best trade indeed . With a hey down derry , they 'l be full merry , Though the marshal stand at the dore ; VVhen their money is done , they 'l have more before noon , Or drink upon the score . Ver. Who liveth so merrily in all this land , As doth the poor widow that sells her sand ? Cho. And ever she singeth as I can guess , Will you buy any sand , any sand , mistress ? Ver. The Brooman maketh his living most sweet , With carrying of brooms from street to street . Cho. Who would desire a pleasanter thing , Than all the day long to do nothing but sing ? Ver. The Chimney-sweeper all the long day , He singeth and sweepeth the soot away . Cho. Yet when he comes home although he be weary , With his prety sweet wife he maketh full merry . Ver. The Cobler he sits cobling till noon , And cobleth his shoes till they be done : Cho. Yet doth he not fear , and so doth say , His work will not last many a day . Ver. The merchant man he doth sail on the seas , And lies on the ship-board with little ease : Cho. For alwayes he doubts the rocks are near , how can he be merry and make good chear ? Ver. The husbandman all day goeth to plow , And when he comes home he servern his sow : Cho. He moileth and toileth all the long year , How can he be merry and make good chear ? Ver. The Serving-man waiteth from street to street , With blowing to his nails and beating his feet : Cho. And serveth for forty shillings a year , T is impossible , t is impossible to make good chear . Ver. Who liveth so merry and maketh such sport As those that be of the poorer sort ? Cho. The poorest sort wheresoever they be , They gather together by one , two and three . Bis. And every man will spend his peny , What makes such a shot amongst a great many ? Another . WIth an old mothy coat & a mamsey nose With an old thred-bare Jerkin rub'd out at elbowes , With an old dagger to scar away the crowes , With an old long sword all to be hackt with blowes : Cho. It was an old souldier of the Queens , Oh the Queens old souldier . With an old Gun and his Bandileers , With an old head-piece to keep warm his ears ; With an old pair of boots drawn on without hose Stuft full of old linnen rags , and broken out at toes . It was , &c. VVith an old pasport that never was read , VVhich in his great old travels had stood him in good stead VVith an old Quean to lie by his side VVhich in her time had been oldly Frenchified . It was the Queens , &c. VVith an old shirt that is grown to wrack , That with long-wearing it serves stinking old Jack ; VVith an old grown lowse , with a black-list on his back , That was able to carry an old pedler and his pack . It was the Queens , &c. VVith an old snap-sack made of a good calves skin , VVith an old Leathern skrip , tyed fast with an old cloak-bag string ; VVith an old Cap with a hole i' th' Crown , One side pind up , and the other hanging down . It was , &c. VVith an old greasie bufft Jerkin pointed down before , That his old great grandfather , at the siege at Bullin had wore ; VVith an old pair of breeches with a patch upon each knee : VVith two over-worn old pockets that will hold no money . It was the Queens , &c. VVith an old horse late come from St. Albons VVith I know not how many diseases most grievous ones , VVith an old pair of rusty Iron spurs VVith an old beat-begger in his hand to keep off the Curs . It was &c. This souldier would ride post to Bohemia to his foes , And swore by his valour e're he came again , would get better cloaths ; Or else he would lose both fingers , hands , and toes But when he takes this journey , there 's no man living knows . It was , &c. Another . IN Lancashire where I was born And many a Cuckold bred : I had not been marryed a quarter of a year , But the hornes grew out of my head . With hey the Io bent , with hey the toe bent , Sir Percy is under the Line ; God save the good Earl of Shrewsbury , For he is a good friend of mine . Doncaster Mayor he sits in a chair , His mills they merrily go , His nose doth shine with drinking of wine , The Gout is in his great toe . He that will fish for a Lancashire lasse At any time or tyde , Must bait his hook with a good egge pie ; And an apple with a red-side . He that gallops his horse on Bletstone edge , By chance may catch a fall , My Lord Mount Eagles Bears be dead , His Jack-an-Apes and all . At Scripton in Craven there 's never a haven , Yet many a time foul weather ; He that will not lie a fair woman by , I wish he were hang'd in leather . My Lady hath lost her left leg hose So hath She done both her shoone ; Shee 'l earn her break-fast before she do rise , Shee 'l lie in bed else till it be noon . Ioan Moultons crosse it makes no force , Though many a Cuckold go by ; Let many a man do all that he can , Yet a Cuckold he shall die . The good wife of the Swan hath a leg like a man , Full well it becomes her hose ; She jets it apace with a very good grace , But falleth back at the first close . The Prior of Courtree made a great pudding-pie , His Monkes cryed meat for a King ; If the Abbot of Chester do die before Easter Then Banbury Bells must Ring . He that will a welch-man catch , Must watch when the wind is in the South ; And put in a net a good piece of roast-cheese , And hang it close to his mouth . And Lancashire if thou be true , As ever thou hast been ; Go sell thy old whittel and by thee a new fiddle , And sing God save the Queen . Towl the Bell. TOwl , towl gentle Bell for a soul , Killing care doth controul , and my mind so oppress ; That I fear I shall die , for a glance of that eye That so lately did fly like a Comet from the skie Or some great Deity : But my wish is in vain , I shall ne're see 't again . When I in the Temple did spie This Divine Purity , on her knees to her Saint . Oh she look't so divine , all her beauties did shine Far more fairer then her shrine , faith I wish she had been mine Where my heart could resign : And would powerfully prove , no Religion like love . Fair , fair , and as chast as the aire Holy Nuns breathing prayer was this Votress divine , From each eye dropt a tear , like the Pearles Violets were , When the spring doth appear for to usher in the year : But I dare safely swear , Those teares trickle down for no sins of her own . But now increaseth my woe , I by no means must know where this beauty doth dwell , All her rites being done to her Lady and her Son ; I was left all alone , and my Saint was from me gone And to heaven she is flown : Which makes me to say , I shall scarce live a day . Now I will make haste and die , And ascend to the skie where I know shee 's inthron'd . All ye Ladies adieu , be your loves false or true ; I am going to view , one that far transcends all you , One that I never knew : But must sigh out my breath , for acquaintance in death . The Answer to Towl . RIng , Ring , merry Bells while we sing Drinking healths to our King ; And our minds are advanc't . Le ts never fear to die , till we have drunk out each eye , But let cash and cares fly free as hail-stones from the skie ; Baccus great Deity : Let us never wish in vain , fill the pots George again . When we in the Tavern do see , Such fare boon Company ; On their knees drinking healths . O we look most divine , when our noses did shine : Well ballast with good wine , faith I wish the cup were mine VVhich to thee I 'le resign , And will palpable prove by the drinking to thy Love. Free , free , as the air let us be , VVee 'l respect no degree ; But our births all a like . From no eye drop a tear , least you Maudlin appear , And next morning do fear to be Physick't with small Beer VVhich I dare boldly swear , If tears trickle down , 't is our loves to the Crown . Now we must make haste and see , How much money will free All our hands from the bar . For a time boyes adien , I am going for to view , VVhat belongs to all you , be the reckoning false or true , Though it be more then dew , Yet my breath will I spend , and my purse for my friend . The jolly Shepherd . THe life of a Shepherd is void of all care-a , With his bag and his bottle he maketh good fare-a , He rus●les , he shusfles in all extreme wind-a , His flocks sometimes before him , and sometimes behind-a . He hath the green medows to walk at his will-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a ; Trang-dille , trang-dille , trang down a down dilla , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon a green hill-a . His sheep round about him do seed on the dale-a His bag full of cake-bread , his bo●tle of ale-a , A cantle of cheese that is good and old-a , Because that he walketh all day in the cold-a , VVith his cloak and his sheep-hook thus marcheth he still-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon a green hilla-a . Trangdille , &c. If cold doth oppress him to cabin goeth he-a , If heat doth molest him then under green tree-a , If his sheep chance to range over the plain-a , His little dog Lightfoot doth fetch them again-a , For there he attendeth his masters own will-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a , Trangdille , &c. He list not to idle all day like a moam-a , In spending his time though sitting alone-a , Lingle , needle & thimble he hath still in store-a , To mend shoes and apparel he keeps them therefore-a , Thus whistling and piping he danceth his fill-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a , Trangdille , &c. If Phillida chance come tripping aside-a , A most friendly welcom he doth her betide-a , He straightwayes presents her a poor shepherds fees ▪ a , His bottle of good ale , his cake and his cheese-a , He pipeth , she danceth all at their own will-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a . Trangdille , &c. But now wanton shepherd howsoever your meaning , My harvest 's not ripe , therefore leave your gleaning , For if in my garden a Rose you would pull-a , Perhaps it may cost you all your sheeps wool-a . Thus do they both frolick & sport at their will-a , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a ; Trangdille , trangdille , trang down a down dilla , With a pair of fine bag-pipes upon the green hill-a . In praise of Canary . LEt us purge our brains from these hops and grains , They do smell of Anarchy ; Let us chuse a King , from whose loins may spring A sparkling of Monarchy . It ill befits , true wine breeds wits , VVhose bloud runs high and cleer , To bind their hands in Dray-mens bands , VVhen as they may go freer . VVhy should we droop or basely stoop , To popular ale or beer ? VVho shall be our King , that is now the thing For which we all are met ? Claret is a Prince , that hath been long since In the Royal order set . His face is spread with warlike red , And so he loves to see men ; VVhere he bears sway , his subjects they Shall be as good as free-men . But here 's the plot almost forgot , He is too much burnt by women . By the River Rhine , is a valiant wine , That can all our veins replenish ; Let us then consent to the Government , And the Royal rule of the Rhenish . This German-wine will warm the chine , And frisk in every vein ; T' will make the Bride forget to chide , And call him to 't again . But that 's not all , he is too small , To be a Soveraign . Let us never think of a nobler drink , But with voices voted high ; Let all proclaim good Canaries name , Heavens blesse his Majesty . He is a King in every thing , VVhose nature doth renown all : He makes us skip and nimbly leap , From the sealing to the gronsell , Especially when Poets be Lords of the Privy-Councel . But a Vintner he shall his taster fee , And there is none shall him let ; And a drawer that hath a good pallat , Shall be made squire of the gimlet . The bar-boys shall be pages all , A Tavern well prepar'd : In Joval sort shall be his Court , VVhere nothing shall be spar'd VVine-Porters shall with shoulders tall , Be yeomen of the Guard. If a Cooper we with a red nose see , But in any part of the Town ; That Cooper shall with his ads Rial , Be keeper of the Crown . Young wits that wash away their cash , In Wine and Recreation : How hates dull beer , are welcome here , To give their approbation . So shall all you that will allow , Canaries Coronation . A health to King Charles when loyalty was a crime . SInce it must be so , then so let it go Let the giddy-brain'd times turn round ; Since we have no King let the goblets be crown'd : Our Monarchy thus wee 'l recover , While the pottles are weeping wee 'l drench our sad souls , In big-bellyed bowles ; And our sorrows in Sack shall lie steeping . And wee 'l drink till our eyes do run over , And prove it by reason That it can be no treason , To laugh and to sing A mournifull of healths to our new crown'd King. Let us all stand bare , in the presence we are , Let our noses like bon-fires shine ; Instead of the Conduit let the pottle run wine , To perfect this new Coronation . For we that are loyal In Sack will appear , And that face that doth wear Pure Claret , looks like the bloud-Royal ; And out-stares all the bores of the Nation . In sign of obedience , Our Oath of allegiance , Beer glasses shall be : And he that tipples tends to the Nobility . But if in this raign , the halberdly train , And the Constable chance to rebel ; And should with his twibel maliciously swel , And against the Kings party raise Arms : Then the drawers like yeomen Of the guard , with quart pots , ●hall fuddle the Scots : VVhile we make them Cuckold's and freemen , And on their wives beat an alarm . And as the health passes , VVee 'l tipple our glasses ; And hold it no sin To be loyal , and to drink in defence of our King. Upon Olivers dissolving the Parliament in 1653. 1. WIll you hear a strange thing scarce heard of before , A ballad of news without any lies , The Parl. men are all turn'd out of doors , And so are the Council of State likewise . 2. Brave Oliver came to the house like a spright , His fiery looks strook the Speaker dumb ; You must be gone hence , quoth he , by this light , Do you mean to sit here til Dooms-day come ? 3. With that the Speaker lookt pale for fear , As though he had been with the night-mare rid ; Insomuch as some did think that were there , That he had even done as the Alderman did . 4. But Oliver though he be Doctor of Law , Yet he seem'd to play the Physitian there ; His physick so wrought on the Speakers maw , That he gave him a stool instead of a Chair . 5. Harry Martyn wondred to see such a thing , Done by a Saint of such high degree ; 'T was an act he did not expect from a King , Much lesse from such a dry bone as he . 6. But Oliver laid his hand on his sword , And upbraided him with his Adultery ; To which Harry answer'd never a word , Saving , humbly thanking his Majesty . 7. Allen the Coppersmith was in great fear , He did us much harm since the wars began ; A broken Citizen many a year , And now he is a broken Parliament-man . 8. Bradshaw that President proud as the Pope , That loves upon Kings and Princes to trample ; Now the house is dissolv'd I cannot but hope , To see such a President made an example . 9. And were I one of the Counsel of war , I 'le tell you what my vote should be , Upon his own Turret at Westminster , To be hanged up for all comers to see . 10. My masters I wonder you could not agree , You that have been so long brethren in evil ; A dissolution you might think there would be ; When the Devil 's divided against the Devil . 11. Then room for the Speaker without his Mace , And room for the rest of the Rabble-rout ; My masters methinks 't is a pittiful case , Like the snuff of a Candle thus to go out . 12. Now some like this change , and some like it not , Some think it was not done in due season ; Some think it ws but a Jesuits plot , To blow up the house like a gun-powder-Treason . 13. Some think that Oliver and Charles are agree'd , And sure it were good policy if it were so ; Lest the Hollander , French , the Dane , and the Swede . Should bring him in whether he would or no. 14. And now I would gladly conclude my song , VVith a prayer as Ballads are used to do ; But yet I 'le forbear , for I think er 't be long , VVe shall have a King and a Parliament too . FINIS . These Books following are printed for Nathanael Brook , and are to be sold at his Shop at the Angel in Cornhill . Excellent Tracts in Divinity , Controversies , Sermons , Devotions . 1. THe Catholick History collected and gathered out of Scripture , Councils and ancient Fathers , in answer to Doctor Vane's Lost sheep returned home : by Edward Chesensale Esq in octavo . 2. Bishop Morton on the Sacrament , in fol. 3. The grand Sacriledge of the Church of Rome , in taking away the sacred Cup from the Laity at the Lords-Table : by D. Dan. Featly in 4. 4. Quakers cause at second hearing , being a full answer to their Tenets . 5. Re-assertion of Grace , Vindiciae Evangelii , or the Vindication of the Gospel , a Reply to Mr. Anthony Burges's Vindiciae Legis , and to Mr. Rutherford : by Robert Towres . 6. Anabaptist anatomiz'd and silenced , or a Dispute with Mr. Tombs : by Mr. I. Cragg , where all may receive clear satisfaction . A Cabinet Jewel , Mans misery , Gods mercy , in 8. Sermons , with an Appendix concerning Tithes , with the expediency of marriages in publick assemblies : by the same Author Mr. I. Cragg . 7. A Glimpse of Divine Light , being an explication of some passages exhibited to the Commissioners at White-hall for approbation of publick Preachers , against I. Harrison of Land-Chappel , Lancashire . 8. The Zealous Magistrate , a Sermon , by T. Threscos , quarto . 9. New Jerusalem , in a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers , quarto , in the year 1651. 10. Divinity no enemy to Astrology , a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers in the year 1643. by Dr. Thomas Swadling . 11. Britannia Rediviva , a Sermon before the Judges , Aug. 1648. by I. Shaw Minister of Hull . 12. the Princess Royal , in a Sermon before the Judges , March 24. by I. Shaw. 13. Judgment set and Books opened , Religion tryed whether it be of God or man , in several Sermons , by I. Webster , quarto . 14. Israels Redemption , or the prophetical History of our Saviours Kingdom on Earth : by K. Matton . 15. The cause and cure of Ignorance , Error and Prophaneness ; or a more hopeful way to grace and salvation : by K. Young , octavo . 16. A Bridle for the Times , tending to still the murmuring , to settle the wavering , to stay the wandring , and to strengthen the fainting : by I. Brinsley of Yarmounth . 17. Comforts against the fear of death , wherein are discovered several evidences of the work of grace : by I. Collins of Norwich . 18. Iacobs seed , or the excellency of seeking God by prayer : by Ier. Burroughs . 19. The summe of Practical Divinity , or the grounds of Religion in a Catechistical way : by Mr. Christopher Love , late Minister of the Gospel ; an useful piece . 20. Heaven & Earth shaken , a Treatise shewing how Kings and Princes , and all other Governments , are turned and changed : by I. Davis Minister in Dover ; admirably useful , and seriously to be considered in these times . 21. The Treasure of the soul , wherein we are taught by dying to sin to attain to the perfect love of God. 22. A Treatise of Contentation , fit for these sad and troublesome times : by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich . 23. Select Thoughts , or choice helps for a pious spirit beholding the excellency of her Lord Jesus : by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich . 24. The holy Order or Fraternity of Mourn●r ; in Sion ; to which is added , Songs in the Night , or chearfulness under afflictions : by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich . 25. The Celestial Lamp , enlightning every distressed soul from the depth of everlasting darkness : by T. Fetiplace . 26. The Moderate Baptist in two parts , shewing the Scripture-way for the Administring of the Sacrament of Baptism , discovering the old errour of Original sin in Babes : by W. Brittin . 27. Dr. Martin Luther's Treatise of Liberty of Christians ; an useful Treatise for the stating Controversies so much disputed in these times about this great point . 28. The Key of Knowledge , a little Book by way of Questions and Answers , intended for the use of all degrees of Christians , especially for the Saints of Religious families , by old Mr. Iohn Iackson that famous Divine . 29. The true Evangelical Temper , a Treatise modestly and soberly fitted to the present grand concernments of the State and Church : by old Mr. Iohn Iackson . 30. The Book of Conscience opened and read , by the same Author . 31. The so much desired and Learned Commentary on the whole 15. Psalm ; by that Reverend and Eminent Divine Mr. Christopher Cartwright Minister of the Gospel in York to which is affixed a brief account of the Authors Life and Work by R. Bolton . 32. The Judges Charge , delivered in a Sermon before Mr. Justice Hall & Serjeant Crook Judges of Assize at St. Mary Overis in Southwark , by R. Parr M. A. Pastor of Camerwell in the County of Surry . A Sermon worthy perusal of all such persons as endeavour to be honest and just practitioners in the Law. 33. The Saints Tomb-stone , being the Life of that Virtuous Gentlewoman Mrs. Dorothy Shaw , late Wife of Mr. Iohn Shaw Minister of the Gospel at Kingston upon Hull . Admirable and Learned Treatises of Occult Sciences in Philosophy , Magick , Astrology , Geomancy , Chymistry , Physiognomy and Chiromancy . 34. Magick and Astrology vindicated by H. Warren . 35. Lux veritatis , Judicial Astrology vindicated , and Demonology cofuted : by W. Ramsey , Gent. 36. An Introduction to the Teutonick Philosophy , being a determination of the Original of the soul , by C. Hotham Fellow of Peter-House in Cambridge . 37. Cornelius Agrippa his fourth Book of Occult Philosophy , or Geomancy ; Magical Elements of Peter de Abona , the nature of spirits , made English by R. Turner . 38. Paracelsus Occult Philosophy of the mysteries of Nature , and his secret Alchimy . 39. An Astrological Discourse with Mathematical Demonstrations ; proving the influence of the Planets and fixed Stars upon Elementary Bodies : by Sir Christ. Heyden Knight . 40. Merlinus Anglicus , Iunior : the English Merlin revived , or a Prediction upon the Affairs of Christendom , for the year 1644. by . W. Lilly. 41. Englands Prophetical Merlin , foretelling to all Nations of Europe , till 1663. the actions depending upon the Influences of the Conjunction of Saturn and Iupiter , 1642. by W. Lilly. 42. The Starry messenger , or an interpretatiof that strange apparition of three Suns seen in London 19. of Nov. 1644. being the Birth-day of K. Charles , by W. Lilly. 43. The Worlds Catastrophe , or Europes many mutations , untill 1666. by W. Lilly. 44. An Astrological prediction of the Occurrences in England , part in the years 1648. 1649. 1650. by W. Lilly. 45. Monarchy or no Monarchy in England , the prophesie of the White King , Grebner his prophesies concerning Charls Son of Charls his Greatnesse , illustrated with several Hieroglyphicks , by W. Lilly. 46. Annus Tenebrosus , or the dark year ; or Astrological Judgments upon two Lunary Eclipses , and one admirable Eclipse of the Sun in England , 1652. by W. Lilly. 47. An easie and familiar way whereby to judge the effects depending on Eclipses , by W. Lilly. 48. Supernatural sights and appatitions seen in London , Iune 30. 1644. by W. Lilly ; as also all his Works in one Volume . 49. Catastrophe Magnacum , an Ephemerides for the year 1652. by N. Culpeper . 50. Teratologia , or a discovery of Gods Wonders , manifested by bloody Rain and Waters : by I. S. 51. Chyromancy , or the art of divining by the Lines engraven in the hand of man , by dame Nature , in 198. Genitures ; with a learned Discourse of the soul of the World : by G. Wharton , Esq 52. the admired piece of Physiognomy , and Chyromancy , Metoposcopy , the symmetrical proportions and signal moles of the body , the Interpretation of Dreams , to which is added the art of memory , illustrated with Figures : by R. Sanders , folio . 53. The no less exquisite then admirable work , Theatrum Chemycum Britannicum ; containing several Poetical pieces of our famous English Philosophers , who have written the Hermetick mysteries in their own ancient Language ; faithfully collected into one Volume , with Annotations thereon : by the Indefatigable Industry of Elias Ashmole , Esq illustrated with Figures . 54. The way to Bliss , in three Books , a very Learned Treatise of the Philosophers Stone , made publick by Elias Ashmole , Esq Excellent Treatises in the Mathematicks , Geometry , of Arithmetick , Surveying , and other Arts , or Mechanicks . 55. The incomparable Treatise of Tactometria , seu Tetagmenometria ; or the Geometry of Regulars , practically proposed after a new and most expeditious manner , together with the Natural or Vulgar , by way of mensural comparison , and in the Solids , not only in respect of Magnitude or Dimension , but also of Gravity or Ponderosity , according to any metal assigned : together with useful experiments of measures and weights , observations on gauging , useful for those that are practised in the art Metrical : by T. Wybard . 56. Tectonicon , shewing the exact measuring of all manner of Land , Squares , Timber , Stones , Steeples , Pillars , Globes ; as also the making and use of the Carpenters Rule , &c. fit to be known by all Surveyors , Land-meters , Joyners , Carpenters , and Masons : by D. Diggs . 57. The unparallel'd work for ease and expedition , entituled , The exact Surveyor , or the whole art of surveying of Land , shewing how to plot all manner of grounds , whether small inclosures , champian , plain , wood-lands , or mountains , by the plain-Table ; as also how to find the Area , or content of any Land , to protect , reduce , or Divide the same ; as also to take the plot or chart , to make a map of any mannor , whether according to Rathburne , or any other eminent surveyors method ; a Book excellently useful for those that sell , purchase , or are otherwise employed about Buildings : by I. Eyre . 58. The Golden Treatise of Arithmetick , Natural and Artificial , or Decimals , the Theory and practise united in a simpathetical proportion betwixt Line and Numbers , in their Quantities and Qualities , as in respect of form , figure , magnitude and affection , demonstrated by Geometry , illustrated by Calculations , and confirmed with variety of examples in every Species ; made compendious and easie for Merchants , Citizens , Seamen , Accomptants , &c. by Thomas Wilsford , corrector of the last Edition of Record . 59 ▪ Semigraphy , or the art of short-writing , as it hath been proved by many hundreds in the City of London , and other places by them practised , and acknowledged to be the easiest , exactest and swiftest method ; the meanest capacity by the help of this Book , with a few hours practise may attain to a perfection in this Art : by I. Rich Author and teacher thereof , dwelling in Swithins-Lane in London . 60. Milk for Children , a plain and easie method teaching to read and write , useful for Scools and Families : by I. Thomas D. D. 61. The Painting of the ancients , the History of the beginning , progress , and consummating of the practise of that noble art of painting : by F. Iunius . Excellent and approved Treatises in Physick , Chyrurgery , and other more familiar Experiments in Cookery , Preserving , &c. 62. Culpeper's Semiatica Vranica , his Astrological Judgement of Diseases from the decumbiture of the sick much enlarged : the way and manner of finding out the cause , change and end of the Disease ; also whether the sick be likely to live or die , and the time when Recovery or Death is to be expected , according to the judgement of Hypocrates and Hermes Trismegistus ; to which is added Mr. Culpepers censure of Urines . 63. Culpepers last Legacy left to his Wife for the publick good , being the choicest and most profitable of those secrets in Physick and Chyrurgery , which whilest he lived , were lock'd up in his breast , and resolved never to be published till after his death . 64. The York shire Spaw , or the vertue and use of that water in curing of desperate Diseases , with directions and Rules necessary to be considered by all that repair thither . 65. Most approved Medicines and Remedies for the diseases in the body of man : by A. Read Doctor in Physick . 66. The art of simpling , an Introduction to the knowledg of gathering of Plants , wherein the definitions , divisions , places , descriptions , differences , names , vertues , times of gathering , temperatures of them , are compendiously discoursed of : also a discovery of the lesser World : by W. Coles . 67. Adam in Eden , or Natures Paradise : the History of Plants , Hearbs , and Flowers , with their several original names , the places where they grow , their descriptions and kinds , their times of flourishing and decreasing ; as also their several signatures , anatomical appropriations , and particular physical vertues ▪ with necessary observations on the seasons of planting and gathering of our English plants . A work admirable useful for Apothecaries , Chyrurgeons , and other ingenious persons , who may in this Herbal find comprized all the English physical simples , that Gerard or Parkinson in their two voluminous Herbals have discoursed of ; even so as to be on emergent occasions their own Physicians , the Ingredients being to be had in their own Fields and Gardens : published for the general good , by W. Coles M.D. 68. The complete midwives practise in the high and weighty concernments of the body of mankind : the second Edition corrected and enlarged , with a full supply of such most useful and admirable secrets which Mr. Nicholas Culpeper in his brief Treatise , and other English Writers in the art of midwifry have hitherto wilfully passed by , kept close to themselves , or wholly omitted : by T. Chamberlaine , M. P. illustrated with Copper Figures . 69. The Queens Closet opened , incomparable secrets in physick , chyrurgery , preserving , candying , and cookery ; as they were presented to the Queen by the mo●t experienced persons of our times ; many whereof were honoured with her own practise . 70. William Clows his Chirurgical Observations for those that are burned with the flames of Gun-powder , as also for the curing of wounds and lues venerea . 71. The expert Doctors Dispensatory , the whole art of physick restored to practice , with a survey of most Dispensatories extant ; a work for the plainness and method not to be parallel'd by any , with a Preface of Mr. Nich. Culpepers to the Reader in its commendation : by P. Morellus , Physician to the King of France . 72. The perfect Cook , a right method in the art of Cookery , whether for Pastry or A la mode Kickshaws , with 55. ways of dressing Eggs : by M. M. Elegant Treatises in Humanity , History , Description of Countries , Romances and Poetry . 73. Times Treasury or Academy , for the accomplishment of the English Gentry in arguments of Discourse , Habit , Fashion , Behaviour , &c. all summed up in characters of Honour : by R. Braithwair . 74. Oedipus , or the Resolver of the secrets of Love and other natural problems , by way of Question and Answe● . 75. The admirable and most impartial History of New England , of the first plantation there in the year 1628. brought down to these times : all the material passages performed there , exactly related . 76. America painted to the Life , the History of the Conquest , and first Original undertaking of the advancement of plantations in those parts , with an exact Map : by F. Gorges , Esq 77. The tears of the Indians , the History of the most bloudy and most cruel proceedings of the Spaniards in the Islands of Hispaniola , Cuba , Iamaica , Mexico , Peru , and other places of the West-Indies ; in which to the life are discovered the Tyrannies of the Spaniards , as also he justness of our War so successefully managed against them . 78. The Illustrious Shepherdesse . The Imperious Brother , written originally in S●anish by that incomparable Wit , Don Iohn Perez de Montalbans ; translated at the requests of the Marchioness of Dorchester , and the Countess of Strafford : by E. P. 79. The History of the golden Ass , as also the Loves of Cupid and his Mi●t●esse Psi●he : by L. Apuleius translated into English. 80. The Unfortunate Mothe● , a Tragedy , by T.N. 81. The Rebellion : a Comedy , by T. Rawlins . 82. The Tragedy of Messalina the insatiate Rom●n Empress : by N. Richards . 8● . The Floating Island : A ●rage-Comedy acted before the King , by the Student of Christ-Church in Oxon. by that Renowned Wit W. Strode ; the songs were set by M. Henry Lawes . 84. Harvey's Divine Poems , the Hi●tory of Balaam , of Ionah ▪ and of St. Iohn the Evangelist . 85. Fons Lachrymarum , or a Fou●tain of tears ; the Lamentations of the Pro●he● Ieremiah in Verse , with an Elegy on Sir Charles Lucas : by I. Quarles . 86. Nocturnal Lu●ubrations , with other witty Epigrams and Epita●hs : by R. Chamberlain . 87. The admirable ingenious Satyr against Hypocrite . 88. Wit Restored , in several select Poems , not formerly published , by Sir Iohn Men●s and Mr. Smith , with others . 89. Sportive Wit , the Muses meriment , a new Spring of Droller● ▪ Jovil F●ancie● &c. Poetical , with several other accurately ingenuous Treatises lately printed . 90. Wits Interpreter , the English Parnassus : or a sure Guide to those admirable accomplishments that complete the English Gentry , in the most acceptable Qualifications of discourse or writing . An art of Logick , accurate Complements , Fancies , Devises , and Experiments , Poems , Poetical Fictions , and A la mode Letters : by I.C. 91. Wit and Drollery with other Jovial Poems with new additions : by Sir I. M. M. L. M. S. W. D. 92. The conveyance of Light , or the complete Clerk and Scriveners guide ; being an exact draught of all presidents and assurances now in use ; as they were penned and perfected by divers Learned Judges , Eminent Lawyers , and great conveyancers , both ancient and modern : whereunto is added a Concordance from King Richard the Third to this present . 93. Themis Aurea , the Laws of the Fraternity of the Rosie Crosse ; in which the occult secrets of their Philosophical Notions are brought to light : written by Count Mayerus . and now Englished by T. H. 94. The Iron Rod put into the Lord Protectors hand ; a Prophetical Treatise . 95. Medicina Magica tamen Physica , magical but natural physick , containing the general cures of Infirmities and diseases belonging to the bodies of men , as also to other animals and domestick Creatures , by way of transplantation , with a description of the most excellent Cordial out of Gold : by Sam. Boulton of Salop. 96. I. Tradescant's Rarities publish'd by himself . 97. The proceedings of the High Court of Justice against the late King Charles , with his speech upon the Scaffold and other proceedings , Ian. 30. 1649. Admirable Usefull Treatises newly printed . 98. Natures Secrets , or the admirable and wonderful History of the generation of meteors , describing the temperatures of the elements , the heights , magnitudes and influences of Stars , the causes of Comets , Earthquakes , Deluges , Epidemical Diseases , and prodigies of precedent times : with presages of the weather , and descriptions of the weather-glass : by T. Wilsford . 99. The mysteries of Love & Eloquence , or the arts of Wooing and Complementing , as they are managed in the Spring-Garden , Hide-Park , the New Exchange , & other eminent places : A work in which is drawn to the life the Deportments of the most accomplish'd persons : the mode of their Courtly entert●inments , treatment of their Ladies at Balls , their accustomed Sports , Drolls and Fancies , the Witchcrafts of their perswasive Language in their approaches , or other more sec●et dispatches , &c. by E.P. 100. Helmont disguised , or the vulgar errors of impartial and unskilful practisers of physick confuted , more especially as they concern the Cures of Feavers , the Stone , the Plague , and some other Diseases by way of Dialogue , in which the chief Rarities of physick are admirably discoursed of : by I.T. Books in the Press and now printing . 1. Geometry demonstrated by lines and numbers ; from ●hence Astronomy , Cosmography and Navigation proved and delineated by the Doctrine of plain and spherical Triangles : by T. Wilsford . 2. The English Annals , from the Invasion made by Iulius Caesar to these times : by T. Wilsford . 3. The Fool transformed , a Comedy . 4. The History of Lewis the eleventh King of France , a Trage-Comedy . 5. The chast Woman against her wil , a Comedy . 6. The Tooth-drawer , a Comedy . 7. Honour in the end , a Comedy . 8. Tell-tale , a Comedy . 9. The History of Donquixot , or the Knight of the ill-favoured face , a Comedy . 10. the fair Spanish Captive , a Trage●comedy . 11. Sir Kenelm Digby , and other Persons of Honour , their rare and incomparable secrets of Physick , Chirurgery , Cookery , Preserving , Conserving , Candying , distilling of Waters , extraction of Oyls , compounding of the co●●iest Perfumes , with other admirable inventions and select experiments , as they offered themselves to their observations , whether here or in forreign Countreys . Books lately printed . 12. The so well entertained work , the New World of English words , or a general Dictionary , containing the Terms , Etymologies , Definitions , and perfect Interpretations of the proper significations of hard English words , throughout the Arts and Sciences , Liberall or Mechanick ; as also other subjects that are usefull or appertain to the Language of our Nation : to which is added the signification of proper Names , Mythology and Poetical Fictions , Historical Relations , Geographical Descriptions of the Countries and Cities of the world , especially of these three Nations , wherein their chiefest Antiquities , Battles , and other most remarkable passages are mentioned : a work very necessary for strangers as well as our own Countrymen , for all persons that would rightly understand what they discourse or read : collected and published by E.P. for the greater honour of those learned Gentlemen and Artists that have been assistant in the most practical Sciences , their names are presented before the Book . 13. The modern Assurancer , the Clerks Directory , containing the practick part of the Law , in the exact forms and draughts of all manner of Presidents for Bargains and Sales , Grants , Feoffments , Bonds , Bills , Conditions , Covenants , Joyntures , Indentures , to lead the uses of Fines and Recoveries , with good Proviso's and Covenants to stand seized ; Charter-parties for Ships , Leases , Releases , Surrenders , &c. and all other Instruments and Assurances now in use , intended for all young Students and Practicers of the Law : by Iohn Hern. 14. Moor's Arithmetick , the second Edition , much refined and diligently cleared from the former mistakes of the press ; a work containing the whole art of Arithmetick as well in numbers as species , together with many additions by the Author , is come forth . 15. Likewise Exercitatio Eleiptica Nova , or a new mathematical Contemplation on the Oval Figure called an Eleipsis ; together with the two first Books of Mydorgius his Conicks Analiz'd and made so plain , that the Doctrine of Conical sections may be easily understood ; a Work much desired and never before published in the English Tongue : by Ionas Moor , Surveyor General of the great Level of the Fenns . 16. Naps upon Parnassus , a sleepy muse nipt and pinch'd though not awaked : such Voluntary and Jovial Copies of Verses as were lately receiv'd from some of the Wits of the Universities in a Frolick ; Dedicated to Gondiberts Mistresse , by Captain Iones and others . Whereunto is added for Demonstration of the Authors Prosaick Excellencies , his Epistle to one of the Universities , with the Answer ; together with two Satyrical Characters of his own , of a Temporizer , and an Antiquary , with marginal notes by a Friend to the Reader . 17. Culpepers School of Physick , or the Experimental practise of the whole Art , so reduced either into Aphorismes , or choice and tryed Receipts , that the free-born Students of the three Kingdoms may in this method find perfect ways for the operation of such medicines , so Astrologically and Physically prescribed , as that they may themselves be competent Judges of the Cures of their patients : by N.C. 18. Blagrave's admirable Ephemerides for the year 1659. and 1660. 19. I. Cleaveland Revived , Poems , Orations , Epistles , and other of his Genuine incomparable pieces : a second impression with many additions . 20. The Equisite Letters of Mr. Robert Loveday , the late admired Translatour of the Volumes of the famed Romance Cleopatra , for the perpetuating his memory ; published by his dear Brother , Mr. A.L. 21. Englands Worthies , Select Lives of 47. most Eminent persons from Constan●ine the Great to the late times : by W. Winstanley , Gent. 22. The Accomplish'd Cook , the mystery of the whole Art of Cookery , revealed in a more easie and perfect method then hath been publish'd in any Language ; expert and ready ways for the dressing of Flesh , Fowl , and Fish , the raising of Pastes , the best directions for all manner of Kickshaws , and the most poinant Sauces , with the terms of carving and sewing : the Bills of Fare , and exact account of all dishes for the season , with other A la mode Curiosities , together with the lively Illustrations of such necessary ●igures as are referred to practise : approved by the many years experience , and careful industry of Robert May , in the time of his attendance on several persons of Honour . 23. The Scales of Commerce and Trade , the mystery revealed as to traffick with a Debitor or Creditor , for merchants Accounts after the Italian way , and easiest method ; as also a Treatise of Archirecture , and a computation as to all the charges of building : by T. Wilsford , Gent. 24. Arts Master-piece , or the beautifying part of physick ; whereby all defects of Nature of both sexes are amended , age renewed , youth continued , and all imperfections fairly remedied : by B.T. Doctor of physick , fitted for the Ladies . 25. A Discourse concerning Liberty of Conscience , in which are contained proposals about what liberty in this kind is now politically expedient to be given , and several reasons to shew how much the peace and welfare is concerned therein : by R.T. 26. Christian Reformation , being an earnest swasion to the speedy practise of it : proposed to all , but especially designed for the serious consideration of my dear Kindred and Countrymen of the Country of Cork in Irel. and the people of Riegate and Camerwel in the County of Surrey : by Richard Parr , Doctor in Divinity there , a practical piece . 27. The Character of Spain , or an Epitomy of their Vertues and Vices . 28. The Character of Italy , or the Italian anatomized by an English Chirurgion . 29. The Character of France , to which is added Gallus castratus , or an Answer to a pamphlet called The character of England , as also a fresh Whip for the monsieur in answer to his Letter : the second Edit . 30. No Necessity of Reformation of the publick Doctrine of the Church of Engl. by I. Pearson D.D. 31. An Answer to Dr. Burges's Word by way of postscript , in vindication of No Necessity of Reformation of the publick Doctrine of the Church of England : by Iohn Pearson D.D. 32. A Treatise of peace between the two visible divided parties ; wherein is inquired , What peace is intended , who the parties that differ , wherein the difference consists , how they fell out , wherein they ought to agree , how they may be perswaded unto peace , by what means reconciliation may be made between them . 33. Dr. Daniel Featly Revived , proving that the Protestant Church , and not the Catholick , is the onely visible and true Church ; in a manual preserved from the hands of the plunderers , with a succinct History of his life and death : published by Iohn Featly , Chaplain to the Kings most excellent Majesty . 34. Scotch Covenant condemned , being a full answer to Mr. Duglas his Sermon , preached at the Kings Coronation in Scotland , wherein His Sacred Majesty is vindicated : by a loyal and orthodox hand . 35. Englands Triumph , a more exact History of His Majesties Escape after the Battle of Worcester , with a Chronological discourse of his Straits and Dangerous Adventures into France , and His Removes from place to place till His happy return into England , with the most Remarkable memorials till after his Coronation . 36. Euclides Elements in 15. Books in English completed by Mr. Barrow of Cambridge . 37. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , or God made Man. A Tract proving the Nativity of our Saviour to be on the 25. of December : by the Learned I. Selden . 38. An Elenchus of Opinions concerning the Cure of the Small Pox : by T. Whitaker Physitian to His Majesty . These are to give notice , that Sir Kenelme Digbies Sympathetical Powder prepar'd by Promethean fire , curing all green wounds that come within the compass of a Remedy ; and likewise the Tooth-ache infalliby in a very short time : Is to be had at Mr. Nathanael Brook's at the Angel in Cornhil . The true and right Lozenges and Pectorals so generally known and approved , for the cure of Consumptions , Coughs , Asthma's , Colds in general , and all other Diseases incident to the Head , are rightly made onely by Iohn Piercy , Gent , the first Inventer of them ; and whosoever maketh them besides do but counterfeit them , they are likewise to be sold by Mr. Nathanael Brook at the Angel in Cornhill . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A66741-e280 (1) The harder the word is , the easier it is to be understood . (2) In varying the use of the senses , the Author shews himself to be in his wits . (3) In varying the use of the senses , the Author shews himself to be in his wits . (4) There the Author shewes himself to be well versed in the Almanack . (5) Being twice repeated , it argues an elegant fancy in the Poet. (6) To make falfe English , argues as much knowledge as to make true latin . (7) Better once done then never . (8) For sometimes there may happen a quarrel amongst freinds . (9) Till he was married , he could be but one . (1) There is no mischiefe , but a woman is at one end of it . (2) The more you hear on 't , the worse you 'l like it . (3) There was a Spanish regiment amongst them . (4) That may be done in an hour , which we may repent all our life after . (5) Being up to the Elbows in trouble , she expessed it in this line . (6) Even Reckoning makes long freinds . (7) As a pudding ha's two ends , so smock ha's two sides . (8.) As love doth commonly break out into an Itch , yet with her it did not so (9) There the Author translates out of Ovid , as Ben Jonson do's in Sejanus out of Homer (1.) By this you may perceive , that primers were first Printed at Abidos . (2.) For distinction sake , because many mens noses bleed white blood . (3.) Black is the beauty of the shoe . (4) Because a Cow , was amongst the ancient Graecians called a Neat , Gesner in his Etymolog . lib. 103. Tom 16. (5.) Better falsifye the Rime then the Story , &c. Notes for div A66741-e2660 * Turnemill Street . * Vulcan . Notes for div A66741-e65680 The Hare 's Will. The Hounds . The Hare .