Eastward Ho Chapman, George; Jonson, Ben; Marston, John This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A18407 of text S107691 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 4971). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Nayoon Ahn Yixin Xiao This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A18407.xml Eastward hoe. As it was playd in the Black-friers. By the Children of her Maiesties Reuels. Made by George Chapman. Ben: Ionson. Ioh: Marston. Chapman, George, 1559?-1634. 36 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2007 January (TCP phase 1) 99843387 STC (2nd ed.) 4971. Greg, I, 217(aII). 8117 A18407

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Eastward hoe. As it was playd in the Black-friers. By the Children of her Maiesties Reuels. Made by George Chapman. Ben: Ionson. Ioh: Marston. Chapman, George, 1559?-1634. Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637. Marston, John, 1575?-1634. [72] p. Printed [by George Eld] for William Aspley, At London : 1605. 1605

Printer's name from STC.

Signatures: A-I4 (||-E3,4).

A later state of STC 4970, with leaves E3,4 cancels; E3v catchword reads: rously.

Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.

A18407 shc Eastward Ho Chapman, George Jonson, Ben Marston, John Nayoon Ahn Yixin Xiao 1605 play comedy shc no A18407 S107691 (STC 4971). 31007 0 0 0 203290.9F The rate of 290.9 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago

EASTVVARD HOE . As It was playd in the Black-friers . By The Children of her Maiesties Reuels

Made by GEO : CHAPMAN . BEN : IONSON . ION : MARSTON .

AT LONDON Printed for William Aspley . 1605 .

PROLOGVS . NOt out of Envy , for ther 's no effect Where there 's no cause ; nor out of Imitation For we haue euermore bin Imitated ; Nor out of our contention to doe better Then that which is opposde to ours in Title , For that was good ; and better cannot be : And for the Title if it seeme affected We might as well haue calde it , God you good Even : Onely that East-ward ; west-wards still exceedes , Honour the Sunnes faire rising , not his setting ; Nor is our Title vtterly enforste , As by the points we touch at , you shall see ; Beare with our willing paines , if dull or witty , We onely dedicate it to the Citty .
EAST-WARD HOE .
Actus primi , Scena prima . Enter Maister Touch-stone , and Quick-siluer at Seuerall dores , Quick-siluer with his hat , pumps , short sword and dagger , and a Racket trussed vp vnder his cloake . At the middle dore , Enter Golding discouering a Gold-smiths shoppe , and walking short turns before it . Touch-stone .

AND whether with you now ? what loose action are you bound for ? come what comrades are you to meete withall ? wher 's the supper ? wher 's the supper ? wher 's the randeuous ?

Quick.

Indeed , and in very good sober truth , Sir .

Touch.

Indeed , and in very good sober truth Sir ? Behinde my backe thou wilt sweare faster then a french foot boy , and talke more bawdily then a common midwife , and now indeede and in very good sober truth Sir : but if a priuie search should be made , with what furniture are you riggd now ? Sirrah I tell thee , I am thy maister William Tutchstone Goldsmith : and thou my Prentise Francis Quick-siluer : and will see whether you are running . Worke vpon that now .

Quick.

Why Sir I hope a man may vse his recreation with his maisters profit .

Touch.

Prentises recreations are seldome with their maisters profit . Worke vpon that now . You shall giue vp your cloake tho you be no Alderman . Heyday , Ruffins hall . Sword , pumps , heer 's a Racket indeed . Touch . vncloakes Quick .

Quick.

Worke vpon that now .

Touch.

Thou shamlesse Varlet dost thou iest at thy lawfull maister contrary to thy Indentures ?

Quick.

Why zbloud sir , my mother 's a Gentlewoman : and my father a Iustice of Peace , and of Quorum , and tho I am a yonger brother and a prentise yet I hope I am my fathers sonne : and by Gods lidde , t is for your worship and for your commoditie that I keepe companie . I am intertaind among gallants , true : They call me coozen Franke , right ; I lend them monnies , good ; they spend it , well . But when they are spent , must not they striue to get more ? must not their land flye ? and to whom ? shall not your worship ha , the refusall ? well , I am a good member of the Citty if I were well considered . How would Morchants thriue , if Gentlemen would not be vnthriftes ? How could Gentlemen be vnthrists if their humours were not fed ? How should their humours be fedde but by whit meate , and cunning secondings ? well , the Cittie might consider vs . I am going to an Ordinary now ; the gallants fall to play , I carry light golde with me : the gallants call coozen Francke some golde for siluer , I change , gaine by it , the gallants loose the gold ; and then call coozen Francke lend me some siluer . Why �

Tou.

Why ? I cannot tell , seue� score pound art thou out in the cash , but looke to it , I will not be gallanted out of my monies . And as for my rising by other mens fall ; God shield me . Did I gaine my wealth by Ordinaries ? no : by exchanging of gold ? no : by keeping of gallants company ? no . I hired me a little shop , fought low , tooke small gaine , kept no debt booke , garnished my shop for want of Plate , with good wholsome thriftie sentences ; As , Touchstone , keepe thy shopp , and thy shoppe will keepe thee . Light gaines makes heauy purses . T is good to be merry and wise : And when I was wiu'd , hauing something to stick too , I had the horne of Suretiship euer before my eyes : You all know the deuise of the Horne , where the young fellow slippes in at the Butte end , and comes squesd out at the Buckall : and I grew vp , and I praise prouidence , I beare my browes now as high as the best of my neighbours : but thou-well looke to the accounts , your fathers bond lyes for you : seuen score pound is yet in the reere .

Quick.

Why Slid sir , I haue as good , as proper gallants wordes for it as any are in London , Gentlemen of good phrase , perfect language , passingly behau'd , Gallants that weare socks and cleane linnen , and call me kinde coozen Francke , good coozen Francke , for they know my Father ; and by god ; lidde shall not I trust hem ? not trust ?

Enter a Page as inquiring for Touch-stones Shoppe . Golding .

What doe yee lacke Sir ? What i st you 'le buye Sir ?

Touch-stone .

I marry Sir , there 's a youth of another peece . There 's thy fellowe-Prentise , as good a Gentleman borne as thou art : nay , and better mean'd . But dos he pumpe it , or Racket it ? Well , if he thriue not , if he out-last not a hundred such crackling Bauins as thou art , God and men neglect industrie .

Gold.

It is his Shop , and here my M. walkes . To the Page .

Touch.

With me Boy ?

Page .

My Maister , Sir Petronel Flash , recommends his loue to you , and will instantly visite you ,

Touch.

To make vp the match with my eldest daughter , my wiues Dilling , whom she longs to call Maddam . He shall finde me vnwillingly readie Boy . Exit Page .

Ther 's another afliction too . As I haue two Prentises : the one of a boundlesse prodigalitie , the other of a most hopefull Industrie . So haue I onely two daughters : the eldest , of a proud ambition and nice wantonnesse : the other of a modest humilitie and comely sobernesse . The one must bee Ladyfied forsooth : and be attir'd just to the Court-cut , and long tayle . So farre is she ill naturde to the place and meanes of my preferment and fortune , that shee throwes all the contempt and dispight , hatred it selfe can cast vpon it . Well , a peece of Land she has , t' was her Grandmothers gift : let her , and her Sir Petronel , flash out that . But as for my substance , shee that skornes mee , as I am a Citizen and Trades-man , shall neuer pamper her pride with my industrie : shall neuer vse me as men doe Foxes ; keepe themselues warme in the skinne , and throwe the body that bare it to the dung-hill . I must goe intertaine this Sir Petronell . Goulding , My vtmost care 's for thee , and onely trust in thee , looke to the shoppe , as for you , Maister Quick-siluer , thinke of huskes , for thy course is running directly to the prodigaills hogs trough . huskes Sra. Works vpon that now .

Exit . Tuch . Quick.

Mary sough goodman flat-cap : Sfoot tho I am a prentise I can giue armes , and my father 's a iustice a peace by discent : and zbloud �

Goul.

Fye how you sweare .

Qui.

Sfoot man I am a Gentleman , and may sweare by my pedegree , God 's my life . Sirrah Goulding , wilt be ruled by a foole ? turne good fellow , turne swaggering gallant , and let the Welkin roare , and Erebus also : Looke not Westward to the fall of Don Phoebus , but to the East ; Eastward Hoe , " Where radiant beames of lusty Sol appeare , " And bright Eovs makes the welkin cleare . We are both Gentlemen , and therefore should be no coxcombes : le ts be no longer fooles to this flat-cap Touchstone . Eastward Bully : this Sattin belly , & Canuas backt Touchstone ; Slife man his father was a Malt-man , and his mother sould Ginger-bread in Christ-church .

Goul.

What would yee ha me doe ?

Quick.

Why do nothing , be like a gentleman , be idle the cursse of man is labour . Wipe thy bum with testones , & make Duckes and Drakes with shillings : What Eastward hoe . Wilt thou crie , what i st yee lack ? stand with a bare pate , and a dropping nose , vnder a wodden pent-house , and art a gentleman ? wilt thou beare Tankards , and maist beare Aimes ? be rul'd , turne gallant , Eastward hoe , ta lyre , lyre , ro . , Who calls Ieronimo ? speake here I am : gods so , how like a sheepe thou lookst , a my conscience some cowheard begot thee , thou Goulding of Goulding-hall , ha boy ?

Gou.

Goe , yee are a prodigall coxcombe , I a cowheards sonne , because I turne not a drunke� whore-hunting rake-hell like thy selfe ? Offers to draw , & Goulding trips vp his heeles and holds him .

Quick.

Rakehell ? rakehell ?

Goul.

Pish , in soft termes yee are a cowardly bragging boy . I le ha you whipt .

Quic.

Whipt , that 's good ifaith , vntrusse me ?

Goul.

No , thou wilt vndoe thy selfe . Alas I behold thee with pitty , not with anger ; thou common shot-clog , gull of all companies : mee thinkes I see thee already walking in Moore fields without a Cloake , with halfe a Hatte , without a band , a Doublet with three Buttons , without a girdle , a hose with one point and no Garter , with a cudgell vnder thine arme borrowing and begging three pence .

Quic.

Nay Slife , take this and take all : as I am a Gentleman borne , I le be drunke , grow valiant , and beate thee . Exit .

Goul.

Goe thou most madly vaine , whom nothing can recouer but that which reclaimes Athiests , and makes great persons sometimes religious : Calamitie . As for my place and life thus I haue read :

What ere some vainer youth may terme disgrace , The gaine of honest paines is neuer base : From trades from artes , from valor honor springs , These three are founts of gentry , yea of Kings .
Enter Girtred , Mildrid , Bettrice , and Poldauy a Taylor , Poldauy with a faire gowne , Scotch Varthing all , and French fall in his armes , girted in a French head attire , & Cittizens gowne ; Mildred sowing , & Bettrice leading a Monkey after her . Gir.

For the passion of patience , looke if sir Petronell approach ; that sweet , that fine , that delicate , that � for loues sake tell me if he come . O sister Mill , though my father be a low capt tradsman , yet I must be a Lady : and I praise God my mother must call me Medam , ( does he come ? ) off with this gowne for shames sakes , off with this gowne : let not my Knight take me in the Citty cut in any hand : tear 't , pax on t ( does he come ) tear 't of . Thus whilst shee sleepes I sorrow , for her sake , &c.

Mil.

Lord sister , with what an immodest impaciencie and disgracefull scorne , doe you put off your Citty tier : I am sorrie to thinke you imagin to right your selfe , in wronging that which hath made both you and vs .

Gir.

I tell you I cannot indure it , I must be a Lady : do you weare your Quoiffe with a London licket ; your Stammell petticoate with two guardes , the Buffin gowne with the Tuftaffitic cape , and the Veluet lace . I must be a Lady , and I will be a Lady . I like some humors of the Cittie Dames well , to eate Cherries onely at an Angell a pound , good ; to dye rich Scarlet black , pretty : to line a Grogaram gowne cleane thorough with veluet , tollerable ; their pure linnen , their smocks of 3. li. a smock are to be borne withall . But your minsing niceryes , taffata pipkins , durance petticotes , & siluer bodkins : � Gods my life , as I shall be a Lady I cannot indure it . Is hee come yet ? Lord what a long knight t is ! And euer shee cride shoute home , and yet I knew one longer , and euer she cryde shoute home , fa , la , ly , re , lo , la .

Mil.

Well Sister , those that scorne their nest , oft flye with a sicke wing .

Gir.

Boe-bell .

Mil.

Where Titles presume to thrust before fit meanes to second them , Wealth and respect often growe sullen and will not follow . For sure in this , I would for your sake I spake not truth . Where ambition of place goes before fitnesse of birth , contempt and disgrace follow . I heard a Scholler once say , that Ulisses when he counterfeited himselfe madde , yoakt cattes , and foxes , and dogges togither to draw his plowe , whilst he followed and sowed salt : But sure I judge them truely madde , that yoake citizens and courtiers , trades men and souldiers , a gold-smiths daughter and a knight : well sister , pray God my father sowe not salt too .

Gir.

Alas , poore Mil . when I am a Lady , I le pray for thee yet I faith : Nay , and I le vouchsafe to call thee sister Mil still , for though thou art not like to be a Lady as I am , yet sure thou art a creature of Gods making ; and mayest paraduenture to bee sau'd as soone as I , ( dos he come ? ) And euer and anon she doubled in her song .

Now ( Ladyes my comfort ) What a prophane Ape 's here ! Tailer , Poldavis , prethee fit it fit it : is this a right Scot ? Does it clip close ? and beare vp round ?
Pold.

Fine and stifly i faith , t will keepe your thighes so coole and make your waste so small : here was a fault in your bodie , but I haue supplyed the defect , with the effect of my steele instrument which , though it haue but one eye , can see to rectifie the imperfection of the proportion .

Gir.

Most aedefying Tailer ! I protest you Tailers are most sanctified members , and make many crooked thing goe vpright . How must I beare my hands ? light ? light ?

Pold.

O I , now you are in the Lady-fashion , you must doe all things light . Tread light , light . I and fall so : that 's the court-Amble . She trips about the stage .

Gir.

Has the Court nere a trot ?

Pold.

No , but a false gallop , Ladie .

Gir.

And if she will not goe to bed Cantat .

Bett.

The knights come forsooth .

Enter Sir Petronell , M. Touch-stone , and Mistris Touchstone . Gir.

Is my knight come ? O the Lord . my band ? Sister doo my cheekes looke well ? giue me a little boxe a the eare that I may see me to blush : now , now . So , there , there , there ! here he is : O my dearest delight , Lord , Lord , and how doe my Knight ?

Touch:

Fye , with more modestie .

Gir.

Modestie ! why I am no cittizen now , modestie ? am I not to bee married ? y' are best to keepe me modest now I am to be a Ladie .

Sir Petro.

Boldnes is good fashion and courtlike .

Gir.

I , in a countrie Ladie I hope it is : as I shall be . And how chaunce ye came no sooner knight ?

Sir Petro.

Faith , I was so intertaind in the Progresse with one Count Epernoum a welch knight : wee had a match at Baloone too , with my Lord Whachum , for foure crownes .

Gir.

At Baboone ? Iesu ! you and I will play at Baboone in the countrey ? Knight .

Sir Pet.

O sweet Lady : t is a strong play with the arme .

Gir.

With arme , or legge , or any other member , if it bee a court-sport . And when shal 's be married my Knight ?

Sir Pet.

I come now to consumate it ; and your father may call a poore Knight , Sonne in Law .

M. Touch.

Sir , ye are come , what is not mine to keepe , I must not be sorry to forgoe : A 100. li. Land her Grandmother left her , t is yours , her selfe ( as her mothers gift ) is yours . But if you expect ought from me , know , my hand and mine eyes open together ; I doe not giue blindly : Worke vpon that now .

Sir Pet.

Sir , you mistrust not my meanes ? I am a Knight .

Touch.

Sir , Sir ; What I know not , you will giue me leaue to say , I am ignorant of .

Mistris Touch.

Yes , that he is a Knight ; I know where he had money to pay the Gentlemen Vshers , and Heralds their Fees . I , that he is a Knight : and so might you haue beene too , if you had beene ought else then an Asse , aswell as some of your neighbours . And I thought you would not ha beene Knighted , ( as I am an honest woman ) I would ha dub'd you my self , I praise God I haue wherewithall . But as for you daughter . �

Gir.

I mother , I must bee a Ladie to morrow : and by your leaue mother ( I speake it not without my dutie , but onely in the right of my husband ) I must take place of you , Mother .

Mistris Touch.

That you shall Lady-daughter , and haue a Coach as well as I too .

Cir.

Yes mother . But by your leaue mother , ( I speake it not without my dutie but onely in my husbands right ) my Coach-horses must take the wall of your Coach-horses .

Touch-stone .

Come , come , the day growes low : t is supper time ; vse my house the wedding solemnitie is at my wifes cost ; thanke mee for nothing but my willing blessing : for ( I cannot faine ) my hopes are faint . And Sir , respect my daughter , shee has refus'd for you wealthy and honest matches , knowne good men , well monied , better traded , best reputed .

Gir.

Boddy a truth , Chittizens , Chittizens . Sweet Knight , as soone as euer wee are married , take mee to to thy mercie out of this miserable Chittie , presently , carry me out of the sent of New-castle Coale , and the hearing of Boe-bell , I beseech thee downe with me for God sake .

Touch.

Well daughter , I haue read , that olde wit sings :

The greatest riuers flow from little springs . Though thou art full , skorne not thy meanes at first , He that 's most drunke may soonest be a thirst . Worke vpon that now . All but Touch-stone , Mildred , and Goulding depart .

No , no ; yon'd stand my hopes .

Milared ,

Come hither daughter . And how approue you your sisters fashion ? how doe you phantsie her cho yee ? what dost thou thinke ?

Mil

I hope as a sister , well .

Touch.

Nay but , nay but how dost thou like her behauiour and humour ? speake freely .

Mil.

I am loath to speake ill : and yet I am sorry of this , I cannot speake well .

Touch.

Well : very good , as I would wish : A modest answere � Goulding , come hither : hither Golding . How dost thou like the Knight . Sir Flash ? dos he not looke bigge ? how likst thou the Elephant ? he sayes he has a castle in the Countrey .

Gould .

Pray heauen , the Elephant carry not his Castle on his backe .

Touch.

Fore heauen , very well : But seriously , how dost repute him ?

Gould .

The best I can say of him is , I know him not .

Touch.

Ha Gulding ? I commend thee , I approoue thee , and will make it appeare my affection is strong to thee . My wife has her humour , and I will ha , mine . Dost thou see my daughter here ? shee is not faire , well-fauoured or so , indifferent , which modest measure of beautie , shall not make it thy onely worke to watch her , nor sufficient mischaunce , to suspect her . Thou art towardly , shee is modest , thou art prouident , shee is carefull . Shee 's nowe mine : giue me thy hand , shee 's now thine . Worke vpon that now .

Gould .

Sir , as your sonne , I honour you ; and as your seruant obey you .

Touch.

Sayest thou so , come hither Mildred . Doe you see yon'd fellow ? he is a gentleman ( tho my Prentise ) & has somewhat to take too : a Youth of good hope ; well friended , wel parted . Are you mine ? You are his . Worke ( you ) vpon that now .

Mil.

Sir , I am all yours : your body gaue mee life , your care and loue hapinesse of life : let your vertue still direct it , for to your wisedome I wholy dispose my selfe .

Touch.

Sayst thou so ? be you two better acquainted . Lip her , Lip her knaue . So shut vp shop : in � We must make holiday .

This match shal on , for I intend to prooue Ex. Gol. & Mil. Which thriues the best , the meane or loftie loue . Whether fit Wedlock vowd twixt like and like . Or prouder hopes , which daringly ore strike Their place and meanes : t is honest Times expence . When seeming lightnesse beares a moral sense .

Worke vpon that now . Exit .

Actus secundi . Scena Prima . Touchstone , Quickesiluer , Goulding and Mildred , sitting on eyther side of the stall . Touch.

Quickesiluer , maister Frances Quickesiluer , maister Quickesiluer ? Enter Quickesiluer .

Qui.

Here sir ; ( vmp . )

Touch.

So sir ; nothing but flat Maister Quickesiluer ( without any familiar addition ) will fetch you : will you trusse my points sir ?

Quick.

I forsooth : ( vmp . )

Touch.

How now sir ? the druncken hyckop , so soone this morning ?

Quick.

T is but the coldnesse of my stomack forsooth .

Touch.

What ? haue you the cause naturall for it ? y' are a very learned drunckerd : I beleeue I shall misse some of my siluer spoones with your learning . The nuptiall night will not moisten your throate sufficiently , but the morning likewise must raine her dews into your gluttonous wesand .

Quick.

An 't please you sir , we did but drinke ( vmp , ) to the comming off , of the Knightly Bridegrome .

Touch.

To the comming off an'him ?

Quick.

I forsooth : we druncke to his comming on ( vmp , ) when we went to bed ; and now we are vp , we must drinke to his comming off : for that 's the chiefe honour of a Souldier sir , and therfore we must drinke so much the more to it , forsooth . ( vmp . )

Touch.

A very capitall reason . So that you goe to bed late , and rise early to commit drunkennesse ? you fullfill the Scripture very sufficient wickedly forsooth .

Quick.

The Knights men forsooth be still a their knees at it , ( vmp ) & because t is for your credit sir , I wold be loth to flinch .

Touch.

I pray sir , een to 'hem againe then ; y' are one of the seperated crew , one of my wiues faction , & my young Ladies , with who� & with their great match , I wil haue nothing to do .

Quick.

So sir , now I will go keepe my ( vmp ) credit with 'hem an 't please you sir .

Touch.

In any case Sir , lay one cup of Sack more alyour cold stomack , I beseech you .

Quick.

Yes forsooth . Exit . Quick .

Touch.

This is for my credit Seruants euer maintaine drunkennesse in their maisters house , for their maisters credit ; a good idle Seruing-mans reason : I thanke Time , the night is past ; I nere wakt to such cost ; I thinke we haue stowd more sorts of flesh in our bellies , then euer Noahs Arke receiued : and for Wine , why my house turnes giddie with it , and more noise in it then at a Conduict ; Aye me , euen beasts condemne our gluttonie . Well , 't is our Citties fault , which because we commit seldome , we commit the more sinfully , wee lose no time in our sensualitie , but we make amends for it ; O that we would do so in vertue , and religious negligences ; But see here are all the sober parcels my house can showe , I le cauesdrop , heare what thoughts they vtter this morning .

Enter Goulding . Goul.

But is it possible , that you seeing your sister preferd to the bed of a Knight , should containe your affections in the armes of a Prentice ?

Myl.

I had rather make vp the garment of my affections in some of the same peece , then like a foole weare gownes of two coulours , or mix Sackcloth with Sattin .

Goul.

And doe the costly garments ; the title and fame of a Lady the fashion ; obseruation , and reuerence proper to such preferment , no more enflame you , then such conuenience as my poore meanes and industrie can offer to your vertues ?

Mil.

I haue obseru'd that the bridle giuen to those violent flatteries of fortune , is seldome recouer'd ; they beare one headlong in desire from one noueltie to another : and where those ranging appetites raigne , there is euer more passion then reasons no staye , and so no happinesse . These hastie aduancements are not naturall ; Nature hath giuen vs legges , to goe to our obiects ; not wings to flie to them .

Goul.

How deare an obiect you are to my desires I cannot expresse , whose fruition would my maisters absolute consent and yours vouchsafe me , I should be absolutely happy . And though it were a grace so farre beyond my merit , that I should blush with vnworthinesse to receiue it , yet thus farre both my loue & my meanes shall assure your requitall ; you shall want nothing fit for your birth and education ; what encrease of wealth and aduancement the honest and orderly industrie & skill of our trade will affoorde in any , I doubt not will be aspirde by me ; I will euer make your contenment the end of my endeuours ; I will loue you aboue all ; and onely your griefe shall be my miserie ; and your delight , my felicitie .

Touch.

Worke vpon that now . By my hopes , he woes honestly and orderly ; he shal be Anchor of my hopes . Looke , see the ill yoakt monster his fellow .

Enter Quickesiluer vnlac'd , a towell about his necke , in his flat Cap , drunke . Quick.

Eastward Hoe ; Holla ye pampered Iades of Asia .

Touch.

Drunke now downe right , a , my fidelitie .

Quic.

( Vmp ) pulldo , Pulldo ; showse quoth the Caliuer .

Goul.

Fie fellow Quickesiluer , what a pickle are you in ?

Quic.

Pickle ? pickle in thy throate ; zounes pickle ? wa ha ho , good morow knight Petronell : morow lady Gouldsmith . come of , Knight , with a counterbuff , for the honor of knighthood .

Goul.

Why how now sir ? doe yee know where you are ?

Quic.

Where I am ? why sbloud you loulthead where I am ?

Goul.

Go to , go to , for shame go to bed , and sleepe out this immodestie : thou sham'st both my maister and his house .

Quick.

Shame ? what shame ? I thought , thou wouldst show thy bringing vp : and thou wert a Gentleman as I am , thou wouldst thinke it no shame to be drunke . Lend me some money , saue my credit , I must dine with the Seruing men and their wiues ; and their wiues sirha .

Gou.

E'ene who you will , I le not lend thee three pence .

Quic.

Sfoote lend me some money , hast thou not Hyren here ?

Touch.

Why how now sirha ? what vain 's this , hah ?

Quic.

Who cries on murther ? lady was it you ? how does our maister ? pray thee crie Eastward ho ?

Touch.

Sirha , sirrha , y' are past your hickvp now , I see y' are drunke .

Quic.

T is for your credit maister .

Touch.

And heare you keepe a whore in towne .

Quic.

T is for your credit Maister .

Touch.

And what you are out in Cashe , I know .

Quick.

So do I . my fathers a Gentleman , Worke vpon that now ; Eastward hoe .

Touch.

Sir , Eastward hoe , will make you go Westward ho ; I will no longer dishonest my house , nor endanger my stocke with your licence ; There sir , there 's your Indenture , all your apparell ( that I must know ) is on your back ; and from this time my doore is shut to you : from me be free ; but for other freedome , and the moneys you haue wasted ; Eastward ho , shall not serue you .

Quic.

Am I free a , my fetters ? Rense ; Flye with a Duck in thy mouth : and now I tell thee Touchstone �

Touch.

Good sir .

Quic.

When this eternall substance of my soule ,

Touch.

Well said , chandge your gould ends for your play ends .

Quick.

Did liue imprison'd in my wanton flesh .

Touch.

What then sir ?

Quic.

I was a Courtier in the Spanish court , and Don Andrea was my name .

Touch.

Good maister Don Andrea will you marche ?

Quic.

Sweete Touchstone , will you lend me two shillings ?

Touch.

Not a penny .

Quic.

Not a penny ? I haue friends , & I haue acquaintance , I will pisse at thy shop posts , and throw rotten Egges at thy signe : Worke vpon that now . Exit , staggering .

Touch.

Now sirha , you ? heare you ? you shall serue me no more neither ; not an houre longer .

Goul.

What meane you sir ?

Touch.

I meane to giue thee thy freedome ; & with thy freedome my daughter : & with my daughter a fathers loue . And with all these such a portion , as shall make Knight Petronell himselfe enuie thee : y' are both agreed ? are yee not ?

Ambo.

With all submission , both of thanks and dutie .

Tou.

Well then , the great powre of heaue� blesse & confirme you . And , Goulding , that my loue to thee may not showe lesse then my wiues loue to my eldest daughter ; thy mariage feast shall equall the Knights and hers .

Goul.

Let me beseech you , no Sir , the superfluitie and colde meate left at their Nuptialls , will with bountie furnish ours . The grossest prodigallitie is superfluous cost of the Bellye : nor would I wish any invitement of States or friendes , onely your reuerent presence and witnesse shall sufficiently grace and confirme vs .

Touch.

Sonne to mine owne bosome , take her and my blessing : The nice fondling , my Lady sir-reuerence , that I must not nowe presume to call daughter , is so rauish't with desire to hansell her new Coche , and see her knights Eastward Castle , that the next morning will sweate with her busie setting foorth , awaye will she and her mother , and while their preparation is making , our selues with some two or three other friends will consumate the humble matche , we haue in Gods name concluded .

T is to my wish ; for I haue often read , Fit birth , fit age , keepes long a quiet bed . T is to my wish ; For Tradesmen ( well t is knowne ) Get with more ease , then Gentrie keepes his owne . Exit .
Securitie solus . Secu.

My priuie Guest , lustie Quickesiluer , has drunke too deepe of the Bride-boule , but with a little sleepe he is much recouered ; And I thinke is making himselfe readie , to bee drunke in a gallanter likenes : My house is as t' were the Caue , where the yong Out-lawe hoords the stolne vayles of his occupation ; And here when he will reuell it in his prodigall similitude , he retires to his Trunks , and ( I may say softly ) his Punks : he dares trust me with the keeping of both : for I am Securitie it selfe , my name is Securitie , the famous Vsurer .

Enter Quickesiluer in his Prentises Cote and Cap his gallant Breeches and Stockings , gartering himselfe . Securitie following . Quic.

Come old Securitie , thou father of destruction : th' indented Sheepeskinne is burn'd wherein I was wrapt , and I am now loose , to get more children of perdition into thy vsurous Bonds . Thou feed'st my Lecherie , and I thy Couetousnes : Thou art Pandar to me for my wench , and I to thee for thy coosenages : K. mee , K. thee , runnes through Court and Countrey .

Secu.

Well said my subtle Quickesiluer , These K's ope the dores to all this worldes felicitie : the dullest forehead sees it . Let not mast . Courtier thinke hee carries all the knauery on his shoulders : I haue poore Hob in the countrie , that has worne hob-nayles on 's shoes , haue as much villanie in 's head , as he that weares gold bottons in 's cap .

Quic.

Why man , t is the London high-way to thrift , if vertue bee vsde ; t is but as a scrappe to the nette of villanie . They that vse it simplie , thriue simplie I warrant : Waight and fashion makes Goldsmiths Cockolds .

Enter Syndefie , with Quicke-siluers doublet , Cloake , Rapier , and Dagger . Synd.

Here sir , put of the other halfe of your Prentiship .

Quick. Well sayd sweet Syn : bring forth my brauerie . Now let my Truncks shoote foor their silkes concealde , I now am free ; and now will iustifie My Trunkes and Punkes : Auant dull Flat-cap then , Via , the curtaine that shaddowed Borgia ; There lie thou huske of my envassail'd State . I Sampson now , haue burst the Philistins Bands , And in thy lappe my louely Dalida , I le lie and snore out my enfranchisde state . When Sampson was a tall yong man His power and strength increased than , He sould no more , nor cup , nor can , But did them all dispise . Old Touchstone , now wright to thy friends , For one to sell thy base gold ends Quickesiluer , now no more attends Thee Touchstone .

But Dad , hast thou seene my running Gelding drest to day ?

Secu.

That I haue Franck , the Ostler a' th Cocke , drest him for a Breakefast .

Quick.

What did he eate him ?

Secu.

No , but he eate his breakefast for dressing him : and so drest him for breakfast . Quicksiluer . O wittie Age , where age is young in witte , And al youths words haue gray beards full of it !

Hyn.

But ah-las Francke , how will all this bee maintain'd now ?

Your place maintain'd it before .

Quickesiluer .

Why and I maintainde my place . I le to the Court , another manner of place for maintenance I hope then the silly Cittie . I heard my father say , I heard my mother sing an olde Song and a true : Tou art a shee foole , and know'st not what belongs to our male wisedome . I shall bee a Marchaunt for-sooth : trust my estate in a wooden Troughe as hee does ? What are these Shippes , but Tennis Balles for the windes to play withall ? Tost from one waue to another ; Nowe vnder-line ; Nowe ouer the house ; Sometimes Bricke-wal'd against a Rocke , so that the guttes flye out againe : sometimes strooke vnder the wide Hazzard , and farewell Mast . Marchant .

Synnedefie .

Well Francke , well ; the Seas you say are vncertaine : But hee that sayles in your Court Seas , shall finde 'hem tenne times fuller of hazzard ; wherein to see what is to bee seene , is torment more then a free Spirite can indure ; But when you come to suffer , howe many Iniuries swallowe you ? What care and deuotion must you vse , to humour an imperious Lord ? proportion your lookes to his lookes ? smiles to his smiles ? fit your sayles to the winde of his breath ?

Quick.

Tush hee 's no Iourney-man in his craft , that can not doe that .

Sinnedefie .

But hee 's worse then a Prentise that does it , not onely humouring the Lorde , but euery Trencherbearer , euery Groome that by indulgence and intelligence crept into his fauour , and by Pandatisme into his Chamber ; He rules the roste : And when my honourable Lorde sayes it shall bee thus , my worshipfull Rascall ( the Groome of his close stoole ) sayes it shall not bee thus , claps the doore after him , and who dares enter ? A Prentise , quoth you ? t is but to learne to liue , and does that disgrace a man ? hee that rises hardly , stands firmely : but hee that rises with ease , Alas , falles as easily .

Quickesiluer .

A pox on you , who taught you this morrallitie ?

Securitie .

T is long of this wittie Age , Maister Francis . But indeede , Mistris Synnedefie , all Trades complaine of inconuenience , and therefore t is best to haue none . The Marchaunt hee complaines , and sayes , Trafficke is subiect to much vncertaintie and losse : let 'hem keepe their goods on dry land with a vengeaunce , and not expose other mens substances to the mercie of the windes , vnder protection of a woodden wall ( as Maister Francis sayes ) and all for greedie desire , to enrich themselues with vnconscionable gaine , two for one , or so : where I , and such other honest men as liue by lending money , are content with moderate profite ; Thirtie , or Fortie i' th' hundred : so wee may haue it with quietnesse , and out of perill of winde and weather , rather then runne those daungerous courses of trading , as they doe .

Quick.

I Dad thou mayst well bee called Securitie , for thou takest the safest course .

Securitie .

Faith the quieter , and the more contented ; and , out of doubt , the more godly . For Marchants in their courses are neuer pleas'd , but euer repining against Heauen : One prayes for a Westerly winde to carry his shippe foorth ; another for an Easterly to bring his shippe home ; and at euery shaking of a lease , hee falles into an agonie , to thinke what daunger his Shippe is in on such a Coast , and so foorth . The Farmer hee is euer at oddes with the Weather , sometimes the clowdes haue beene too barren ; Sometimes the Heauens forgette themselues , their Haruests answere not their hopes ; Sometimes the Season falles out too fruitefull , Corne will beare no price , and so foorth . Th' Artificer , hee 's all for a stirring worlde , if his Trade bee too full and fall short of his expectation , then falles he out of ioynt . Where we that trade nothing but money , are free from all this , wee are pleas'd with all weathers : let it raine or hold vp , bee calme or windy , let the season be whatsoeuer , let Trade goe how it will , wee take all in good part ; een what please the heauens to send vs ; so the Sunne stand not still ; and the Moone keepe her vsuall returnes ; and make vp dayes , moneths , and yeares .

Quick.

And you haue good securitie ?

Secu.

I mary Francke , that 's the speciall point .

Quick.

And yet forsooth wee must haue Trades to liue withall ; For wee cannot stand without legges , nor flye without wings ; and a number of such skurvie phrases . No , I say still ; hee that has wit , let him liue by his wit : hee that has none , let him be a Trades-man .

Secu.

Witty Maister Francis !

T is pittie any Trade should dull that quicke braine of yours . Doe but bring Knight Petronell into my Parchment Toyles once , and you shall neuer neede to toyle in any trade , a my credit ! You know his wiues Land ?

Quickesiluer .

Euen to a foote Sir , I haue beene often there : a pretie fine Seate , good Land , all intire within it selfe .

Secu.

Well wooded ?

Quick.

Two hundered pounds woorth of wood readye to fell . And a fine sweete house that stands iust in the midst an 't , like a Pricke in the midst of a Circle ; would I were your Farmer , for a hundred pound a yeere .

Secu.

Excellent M. Francis ; how I do long to doe thee good : How I doe hunger , and thirst to haue the honour to inrich thee ? I , euen to die , that thou mightest inherite my liuing : euen hunger and thirst , for a my Religion , M. Francis . And so tell Knight Petrouell I doe it to doe him a pleasure .

Quickesiluer .

Marry Dad , his horses are now comming vp , to beare downe his Ladie , wilt thou lend him thy stable to set 'hem in ?

Secur.

Faith M. Francis , I would be lothe to lend my Stable out of dores , in a greater matter I will pleasure him , but not in this .

Quick.

A pox of your hunger and thirst . Well Dad , let him haue money : All he could any way get , is bestowed on a Ship , now bound for Virginia : the frame of which voiage is so closely conuaide , that his new Ladie nor any of her friendes know it . Notwithstanding , as soone as his Ladyes hand is gotten to the sale of her inheritance , and you haue furnisht him with money , he will instantly hoyst Saile , and away .

Secur.

Now a Franck gale of winde goe with him , Maister Franke , we haue too few such knight aduenturers : who would not sell away competent certainties , to purchase ( with any danger ) excellent vncertainties ? your true knight venturer euer does it . Let his wife seale to day , he shall haue his money to day .

Qui.

To morrow she shall , Dad , before she goes into the cou�try , to worke her to which actio , with the more engines , I purpose presently to preferre my sweete Sinne here , to the place of her Gentlewoman ; whom you ( for the more credit ) shall present as your friends daughter , a Gentlewoman of the countrie , new come vp with a will for a while to learne fashions for-sooth , and be toward some Ladie ; and she shall buzz prettie deuises into her Ladies eare ; feeding her humors so seruiceablie ( as the manner of such as she is you know . )

Secur.

True good Maister Fraunces .

Enter Sindefie . Quic.

That she shall keepe her Port open to any thing she commends to her .

Secur.

A' my religion , a most fashionable proiect ; as good she spoile the Lady , as the Lady spoile her ; for t is three to one of one side : sweete mistresse Sinne , how are you bound to maister Frances ! I doe not doubt to see you shortly wedde one of the head men of our cittie .

Sinne.

But sweete Franke , when shall my father Securitie present me ?

Quic.

With all festination ; I haue broken the Ice to it already ; and will presently to the Knights house , whether , my good old Dad , let me pray thee with all formallitie to man her .

Secur.

Commaund me Maister Frances ; I doe hunger and thirst to doe thee seruice . Come sweete Mistresse Sinne , take leaue of my Wynnifride , and we will instantly meete francke Maister Frances at your Ladies .

Enter Winnifride aboue . Win.

Where is my Cu there ? Cu ?

Secur.

I Winnie .

Win.

Wilt thou come in , sweete Cu ?

Secur.

I Wynney , presently . Exeunt .

Quic.

I Wynney , quod he ? that 's all he can doe poore man ; he may well cut off her name at Wynney . O t is an egregious Pandare ! what will not an vsurous knaue be , so he may bee riche ? O 't is a notable lewes trump ! I hope to liue to see dogs meate made of the old Vsurers flesh ; Dice of his bones ; and Indentures of his skinne : and yet his skinne is too thicke to make Parchment , 't would make good Bootes for a Peeter man to catch Salmon in . Your onely smooth skinne to make fine Vellam is your Puritanes skinne ; they be the smoothest and slickest knaues in a countrie .

Enter Sir Tetronell in Bootes with a riding wan . Petr.

I le out of this wicked towne as fast as my horse can trot : Here 's now no good action for a man to spend his time in . Tauerns growe dead ; Ordinaries are blowne vp ; Playes are at a stand ; Howses of Hospitallitie at a fall ; not a Feather wauing , nor a Spurre gingling any where : I le away instantlie .

Qui.

Y 'ad best take some crownes in your purse Knight , or else your Eastward Castle will smoake but miserably .

Petr.

O Francke ! my castle ? Alas all the Castles I haue , are built with ayre , thou know'st .

Quic.

I know it Knight , and therefore wonder whether your Lady is going .

Pet.

Faith to seeke her Fortune I thinke . I said I had a castle and land Eastward , and Eastward she will without contradiction ; her coach , and the coach of the Sunne must meete full butt : And the Sunne being out shined with her Lady-ships glorie , she feares hee goes Westward to hange himselfe .

Quic.

And I feare , when her enchanted Castle becomes inuisible , her Ladyship will returne and follow his example .

Petr.

O that she would haue the grace , for I shall neuer be able to pacific her , when she sees her selfe deceiued so .

Quic.

As easely as can be . Tell her she mistooke your directions , and that shortly , your selfe will downe with her to approoue it ; and then , cloath but her croupper in a new Gowne , and you may driue her any way you list : for these wome� Sir , are like Essex Calues , you must wriggle 'hem on by the tayle still , or they will neuer driue orderly .

Petr.

But alas sweet Francke , thou know'st my habilitie will not furnish her bloud with those costly humors .

Quic.

Cast that cost on me Sir , I haue spoken to my olde Pandare Securitie , for money or commoditie ; and commoditie ( if you will ) I know he will procure you .

Petr.

Commoditie ! Alas what commoditie ?

Qui.

Why Sir ? what say you to Figges , and Raysons ?

Petr.

A plague of Figges and Raysons , and all such fraile commodities , we shall make nothing of 'hem .

Quic.

Why then Sir , what say you to Fortie pound in rosted Beefe ?

Petr.

Out vpon 't , I haue lesse stomacke to that , then to the Figges and Raysons : I le out of Towne , though I soiourne with a friend of mine , for staye here I must not ; my creditors haue laide to arrest me , and I haue no friend vnder heauen but my Sword to baile me .

Qui.

Gods me Knight , put 'hem in sufficient sureties , rather then let your Sworde bayle you ; Let 'hem take their choice , eyther the Kings Benche , or the Fleete , or which of the two Counters they like best , for by the Lord I like none of 'hem .

Petr.

Well Francke there is no iesting with my earnest necessitie ; thou know'st if I make not present money to further my voyage begun all 's lost , and all I haue laid out about it .

Qui.

Why then Sir in earnest , if you can get your wise Lady to set her hand to the sale of her Inheritance , the bloud hound Securitie will smell out ready money for you instantly .

Petro.

There spake an Angell . To bring her to which conformitie , I must faine my selfe extreamly amorous ; and alledging vrgent excuses for my stay , behinde , part with her as passionately , as she would from her foysting hound .

Qui.

You haue the Sowe by the right eare Sir : I warrant there was neuer Childe longd more to ride a Cock horse , or weare his new coate , the� she longs to ride in her new Coache : She would long for euery thing when she was a maide ; and now she will runne mad for 'hem : I laye my life she will haue euery yeare foure children ; and what charge and change of humour you must endure while she is with childe ; and how she will tie you to your tackling till she be with child , a Dog would not endure : Nay , there is no Turne-spit Dog bound to his wheele more seruily , then you shall be to her wheele ; For as that Dogge can neuer climbe the top of his wheele , but when the toppe comes vnder him : so shall you neuer clime the top of her contentment , but when she is vnder you .

Petr.

Slight how thou terrifiest me ?

Quic.

Nay harke you sir ; what Nurses , what Midwiues , what Fooles , what Phisitions , what cunning women must be sought for ( fearing sometimes she is bewitcht , some times in a consumption ) to tell her tales , to talke bawdy to her , to make her laughe , to giue her glisters , to let her bloud vnder the tongue , and betwixt the toes ; how she will reuile and kisse you ; spit in your face , and lick it off againe ; how she will vaunt you are her Creature ; shee made you of nothing ; how shee could haue had thousand marke ioyntures ; she could haue bin made a Lady by a Scotche Knight ; & neuer ha' married him : Shee could haue had Poynados in her bed euery morning ; how she set you vp , and how she will pull you downe : you le neuer be able to stand of your legges to endure it .

Petr.

Out of my fortune , what a death is my life bound face to face too ? The best is , a large Time-fitted conscience is bound to nothing : Marriage is but a forme in the Schoole of Policie , to which Schollers sit fastned onely with painted chaines , old Securities young wife is nere the further of with me .

Quic.

Thereby lyes a tale sir . The old vsurer will be here instantly , with my Puncke Syndefie , whome you know your Lady has promist mee to entertaine for her Gentlewoman : and he ( with a purpose to feede on you ) inuites you most solemnly by me to supper .

Petr.

It falls out excellently fitly : I see desire of gaine makes Iealousie venturous : Enter Gyrt :

See Francke here comes my Lady ; Lord how she viewes thee , she knowes thee not I thinke in this brauerie .

Gyr.

How now ? who be you I pray ?

Quic.

One maister Frances Quickesiluer , an 't please your Ladiship .

Gyr.

Gods my dignitie ! as I am a Lady , if he did not make me blush so that mine eyes stood awater , would I were vnmaried againe : Enter Securitie and Sindefie .

Where 's my woman I pray ?

Qui.

See Madam , she now comes to attend you .

Secur.

God saue my honourable Knight , and his worshipfull Lady .

Gyr.

Y' are very welcome ! you must not put on your Hat yet .

Secur.

No Madam ; till I know your Ladiships further pleasure , I will not presume .

Gyr.

And is this a Gentlemans daughter new come out of the countrie ?

Secur.

She is Madam ; & one that her Father hath a speciall care to bestowe in some honourable Ladies seruice , to put her out of her honest humours forsooth , for she had a great desire to be a Nun , an 't please you .

Gyr.

A Nun ? what Nun ? a Nun Substantiue ? or a Nun Adiectiue ?

Secur.

A Nun Substantiue Madam I hope , if a Nun be a Noune . But I meane , Lady , a vowd maide of that order .

Gyr.

I le teach her to be a maide of the order I warrant you : and can you doe any worke belongs to a Ladyes Chamber ?

Synde.

What I cannot doe , Madam , I would bee glad to learne .

Gyr.

Well said , hold vp then ; hold vp your head I say , come hether a little .

Synd.

I thanke your Ladiship .

Gyr.

And harke you ; Good man , you may put on your Hatt now , I doe not looke on you : I must haue you of my faction now ; not of my Knights , maide .

Synd.

No forsooth Madam of yours .

Gyr.

And draw all my seruants in my Bowe , and keepe my counsell , and tell me tales , and put me Riddles and reade on a booke sometimes when I am busie , and laugh at countrie Gentlewomen , and command any thing in the house for my reteiners , and care not what you spend , for it is all mine ; and in any case , be still a Maide what soeuer you doe , or whatsoeuer any man can doe vnto you .

Secur.

I warrant your Ladiship for that .

Gyr.

Very well , you shall ride in my coach with me into the country to morrow morning ; Come Knight , pray thee le ts make a short supper , and to bed presently .

Secur.

Nay good Madam , this night I haue a short Supper at home , waites on his worships acceptation .

Gyr.

By my faith but he shall not goe Sir ; I shall swoune and he sup from me .

Petr.

Pray thee forbeare ; shall he lose his prouision ?

Gyr.

I by Lady Sir , rather then I lose my longing ; come in I say : as I am a Lady you shall not goe .

Quic.

I told him what a Burre he had gotten .

Secur.

If you will not sup from your Knight Madam , let me entreate your Ladiship to sup at my house with him .

Gyr.

No by my faith Sir , then we cannot be a bed soone enough , after supper .

Petr.

What a Medcine is this ? well Maister Securitie , you are new married as well as I ; I hope you are bound as well : we must honour our young wiues you know .

Quic.

In pollicie Dad , till to morrow she has seald .

Secur.

I hope in the morning yet your Knight-hood will breake-fast with me .

Petr.

As early as you will Sir .

Secur.

Thanke your good worship ; I do hunger and thirst to do you good Sir .

Gyr.

Come sweete Knight come , I do hunger and thyrst to be a bed with thee . Exeunt .

Actus Tertii . Scaena Prima . Enter Petronell , Quicksiluer , Securitie , Bramble , and Wynnifrid . Petr.

Thankes for our feastlike Breakefast good Maister Securitie , I am sory , ( by reason of my instant haste to so long a voyage as Virginia , ) I am without meanes , by any kinde amends to show how affectionatly I take your kindnesse , and to confirme by some worthy ceremonie a perpetuall league of friendship betwixt vs .

Secur.

Excellent Knight ; let this be a token betwixt vs of inuiolable friendship : I am new marryed to this fayre Gentlewoman you know ; & ( by my hope to make her fruitefull though I be something in yeares ) I vowe faithfully vnto you , to make you Godfather ( though in your absence ) to the first childe I am blest withall ; and henceforth call me Gossip I beseech you , if you please to accept it .

Petr.

In the highest degree of gratitude , my most worthy Gossip ; for confirmation of which friendly title , let me entreate my faire Gossip your Wife here , to accept this Diamond , and keepe it as my gift to her first Childe , wheresoeuer my Fortune in euent of my Voyage shall bestowe me .

Secur.

How now my coye wedlock ! make you strange of so Noble a fauour ? take it I charge you , with all affection , and ( by way of taking your leaue ) present boldly your lips to our honourable Gossip .

Quick.

How ventrous he is to him , and how iealous to others !

Pet.

Long may this kinde touch of our lippes Print in our hearts al the formes of affection . And now my good Gossip , if the writings be ready to which my wife should seale , let them be brought this morning , before she takes Coache into the countrie , and my kindnesse shall worke her to dispatche it .

Secur.

The writings are ready Sir . My learned counsell here , Maister Bramble , the Lawyer hath perusde them ; and within this houre , I will bring the Scriuenour with them to your worshipfull Lady .

Petr.

Good Maister Bramble , I will here take my leaue of you then ; God send you fortunate Pleas sir , and contentious Clients .

Bram.

And you foreright windes Sir , and a fortunate voyage . Exit . Enter a Messenger .

Mess.

Sir Petronell , here are three or foure Gentlemen desire to speake with you .

Pet.

What are they ?

Qui.

They are your followers in this voyage Knight , Captaine Seagull and his associates , I met them this morning , and told them you would be here .

Pet.

Let them enter I pray you , I know they long to bee gone , for their stay is dangerous .

Enter Seagull , Scapethrift , and Spendall . Sea.

God saue my honourable Collonell .

Pet.

Welcome good Captaine Seagull , and worthy Gentlemen , if you will meete my friend Francke here , and me , at the blew Anchor Tauerne by Billinsgate this Euening , we will there drinke to our happy voyage , be merry , and take Boate to our Ship with all expedition .

Spoyl .

Deferre it no longer I beseech you Sir , but as your voyage is hetherto carried closely , and in another Knights name , so for your owne safetie and ours , let it be continued , our meeting and speedy purpose of departing knowne to as few as is possible , least your Ship and goods be attacht .

Qui.

Well aduisd Captaine our Collonell shall haue money this morning to dispatch all our departures , bring those Gentlemen at night to the place appointed , and with our skinnes full of vintage , wee le take occasion by the vantage , and away .

Spoyl .

We will not faile but be there sir .

Pet.

Good morrow good Captaine , and my worthy associates . Health and all Soueraigntie to my beautifull gossip , for you sir , we shall see you presently with the writings .

Secur.

With writings and crownes to my honorable gossip : I do hunger and thirst to doe you good sir . Exeunt .

Actus tertii . Scena Secunda . Enter a Coachman in hast in 's frock feeding . Coach.

Heer 's a stirre when Cittizens ride out of Towne indeed , as if all the house were a fire ; Slight they will not giue a man leaue , to eat 's breakfast afore he rises .

Enter Hamlet a footeman in haste . Ham.

What Coachman ? my Ladyes Coach for shame ; her ladiship 's ready to come downe ;

Enter Potkinn , a Tankerd bearer . Pot.

Sfoote Hamlet ; are you madde ? whether run you now you should brushe vp my olde Mistresse ?

Enter Syndefye . Synd.

What Potkinn ? you must put off your Tankerd , and put on your blew cote and waite vpon Mistrisse Toochstone into the country . Exit .

Pot.

I will forsooth presently . Exit .

Enter Mistresse Fond , and Mistresse Gazer . Fond.

Come sweete Mistresse Gazer , le ts watch here , and see my Lady Flashe take coach .

Gaz.

A my word heer 's a most fine place to stand in , did you see the new Ship lancht last day Mistresse Fond .

Fond.

O God , and we cittizens should loose such a sight ?

Gaz.

I warrant , here will be double as many people to see her take coach , as there were to see it take water .

Fond.

O shee 's married to a most fine Castle ' i th' countrey they say ?

Gaz.

But there are no Gyants in the Castle , are there ?

Fond.

O no , they say her Knight kild 'hem all and therefore he was knighted .

Gaz.

Would to God her Ladiship would come away .

Enter Gyr. Mistris Tooch . Synd. Ham . Por. Fond.

She comes , she comes , she comes .

Gaz.

Fond . Pray heauen blesse your Ladiship .

Gyr.

Thanke you good people ; my coach for the loue of Heauen , my coach ? in good truth I shall swoune else .

Ham.

Coach ? coach my Ladies coach . Exit .

Gir.

As I am a Lady , I thinke I am with child already , I long for a coach so ; may one be with childe afore they are married Mother ?

Mist. Touch.

I by 'r ladie Madam , a little thing does that ; I haue seene a little prick no bigger then a pins head , swell bigger and bigger , til it has come to an Ancome ; & eene so t is in these cases .

Enter Ham. Ham.

Your Coach is comming , Madam .

Gyr.

That 's well said ; Now heauen ! me thinks , I am eene vp to the knees in preferment ; But a little higher , but a little higher , but a little higher , There , there , there lyes Cupids fire .

Mist. Touch.

But must this young man , an 't please you Madam , run by your coach all the way a foote ?

Gyr.

I by my faith I warrant him , he giues no other milke , as I haue an other seruant does .

Mist. Touch.

Ahlas ! t is eene pittie me thinks ; for Gods sake Madam buy him but a Hobbie horse , let the poore youth haue something betwixt his legges to ease 'hem ; Ahlas ! we must do as we would be done too ;

Gir.

Goe too , hold your peace dame , you talke like an olde foole I tell you .

Enter Petr. and Quicksiluer . Pet.

Wilt thou be gone , sweete Honny suckle , before I can goe with thee ?

Gyr.

I pray thee sweete Knight let me ; I do so long to dresse vp thy castle afore thou com'st : But I marle howe my modest Sister occupies her selfe this morning , that shee can not waite on me to my Coach , as well as her mother !

Quick.

Mary Madam , shee 's married by this time to Prentise Goulding ; your Father , and some one more , stole to Church with 'hem , in all the haste , that the cold meat lest at your wedding , might serue to furnish their Nuptiall table .

Gyr.

There 's no base fellowe , my Father , nowe : but hee 's eene fit to Father such a Daughter : he must call me daughter no more now ; but Madam ; and please you Madam : and please your worship Madam , indeede ; out vpon him , marry his daughter to a base Prentise ?

Mist. Touch.

What should one doe ? is there no lawe for one that marries a womans daughter against her will ? howe shall we punish him Madam .

Gyr.

As I am a Lady an 't would snowe , wee 'd so peble 'hem with snowe bals as they come from Church ; but sirra , Franck Quicksiluer .

Quick.

I Madam .

Gir.

Dost remember since thou and I clapt what d'ye clats ' in the Garrat ?

Quick.

I know not what you meane Madam .

Gyr. His head as white as mylke , All flaxen was his haire : But now he is dead , And laid in his Bedd , And neuer will come againe .

God be at your labour .

Enter Touch . Gould . Mild. with Rosemary . Pet.

Was there euer such a Lady ?

Quic.

See Madam , the Bride and Bridegrome :

Gyr.

Gods my precious ! God giue you ioy Mistrisse What lacke you . Now out vpon thee Baggage : my sister married in a Taffeta Hat ? Mary hang you ; Westward with a wanio� te' yee , Nay I haue done we ye Minion the? y'faith , neuer looke to haue my countnance any more : nor any thing I can do for thee . Thou ride in my Coach ? or come downe to my Castle ? fie vpon thee : I charge thee in my Ladiships name , call me Sister no more .

Touch.

An 't please your worship , this is not your Sister : This is my daughter , and she call me Father , and so does not your Ladiship an 't please your worship Madam .

Mist. Touch.

No nor she must not call thee Father by Heraldrie , because thou mak'st thy Prentise thy Sonne as well as she ; Ah thou misproude Prentise , dar'st thou presume to marry a Ladies Sister ?

Gou.

It pleas'd my Master forsooth to embolden me with his fauour : And though I confesse my selfe farre vnworthie so worthy a wife ( beeing in part , her seruant , as I am your Prentise ) yet ( since I may say it without boasting ) I am borne a Gentleman , and by the Trade I haue learn'd of my Master ( which I trust taints not my blood ) able with mine owne Industrie and portion to maintaine your daughter , my hope is , heauen will so blese our humble beginning , that in the end I shal be no disgrace to the grace with which my Master hath bound me his double Prentise .

Touch.

Master me nomore Sonne if thou think'st me worthy to be thy father .

Gry.

Sunne ? Now good Lord how he shines and you marke him ! hee 's a gentleman .

Gon.

I indeede Madam , a Gentleman borne .

Pet.

Neuer stand a' your Gentrye M. Bridgegrome : if your legges be no better then your Armes , you 'le be able to stand vpon neither shortly .

Touch.

An 't please your good worshippe Sir , there are two sorts of Gentlemen .

Pet.

What meane you Sir ?

Touch.

Bold to put off my hat to your worshippe .

Pet.

Nay pray forbeare Sir , and then foorth with your two sorts of Gentlemen .

Touch.

If your worship will haue it so ? I saye there are two sorts of Gentlemen . There is a Gentleman Artificiall , and a gentleman Naturall ; Now , though your worship be a Gentleman Naturall : Worke vpon that now .

Quick.

Well said olde Touchstone , I am proude to heare thee enter a set speech yfaith , forth I beseech thee .

Touch.

Cry you mercie Sir , your worship 's a Gentleman , I doe not know ? if you bee one of my acquaintance y' are very much disguisde Sir .

Quick.

Go too old Quipper : forth with thy speech I say .

Touch.

What Sir , my speeches were euer in vaine to your gratious worship : And therefore till I speake to you gallantry in deed , I will saue my breath for my broth anon . Come my poore sonne and daughter ; Let vs hide our selues in our poore humilitie and liue safe : Ambition consumes it selfe , with the very show . Worke vpon that now .

Gyr.

Let him goe , let him goe for Gods sake : let him make his Prentise , his sonne for Gods sake : giue away his daughter for Gods sake : and when they come a begging to vs for Gods sake , let 's laugh at their good husbandry for Gods sake . Fare-well sweet Knight , pray thee make haste after .

Pet.

What shall I say ? I would not haue thee goe ,

Quick. Now , O now , I must depart ; Parting though it absence moue , This Dittie knight , doe I see in thy lookes in Capitall Letters . What a grief 't is to depart , and leaue the slower that has my hart ? My sweete Ladie , and alacke for wee , why should we part so ?

Tell truth Knight , and shame all dissembling Louers ; does not your paine lye on that side ?

Pet.

If it doe , canst thou tell me how I may cure it ?

Quick.

Excellent easily ; diuide your selfe in two halfes , iust by the girdlestead ; send one halfe with your Lady , and keepe the tother your selfe : or else doe as all true Louers doe , part with your heart and leaue your bodie behinde : I haue seen 't done a hundred times : T is as easie a matter for a Louer to part without a heart from his sweete heart , and he nere the worse : as for a Mouse to get from a Trappe and leaue her taile behinde him . See here comes the Writings .

Enter Securitie with a Scriuener . Secu.

Good morrow to my worshipfull Ladie . I present your Ladishippe with this writing ; to which if you please to set your hand , with your Knights , a veluet Gowne shall attend your iourney a' my credite .

Gir.

What Writing is it Knight ?

Petrenell .

The sale ( sweete heart ) of the poore Tenement I tolde thee off , onely to make a little money to sende thee downe furniture for my Castle , to which my hand shall lead thee .

Gyr.

Very well : Now giue me your Pen I pray .

Qui.

It goes downe without chewing y'faith .

Scriue.

Your worships deliuer this as your deede ?

Ambo.

Wee doe .

Gyr.

So now Knight farewell till I see thee .

Pet.

All farewell to my sweet heart .

Mistris Touch.

God-boye , sonne Knight .

Pet.

Farewell my good Mother .

Gyr.

Farewell Francke , I would faine take thee downe if I could .

Quickesiluer .

I thanke your good Ladiship ; Farewell Mistrie Syndifie . Exeunt .

Pet.

O tedious Voyage , where of there is no ende ! What will they thinke of me ?

Quick.

Thinke what they list ; They long'd for a vagarie into the Countrie , and now they are fitted : So a woman marry to ride in a Coach , she cares not if she ride to her Ruine ; T is the great ende of many of their mariages : This is not first time a Lady has ridde a false iournie in her Coach I hope .

Pet.

Nay , t is no Matter , I care little what they thinke ; hee that wayes mens thoughts , has his handes full of nothing : A man in the course of this worlde should bee like a Surgeons instrument , worke in the woundes of others , and feele nothing himselfe . The sharper , and subtler , the better .

Quickesiluer .

As it falles out nowe Knight , you shall not neede to deuise excuses , or endure her out cryes , when shee returnes ; wee shall now bee gone before , where they can not reache vs .

Petronell .

Well my kinde Compere , you haue now Th' assurance we both can make you ; let mee now entreate you , the money wee agree'd on may bee brought to the Blewe Ancor , nere to Billings-gate , by Six a Clocke : where I and my cheife friends , bound for this voyage , will with Feastes attend you .

Secu.

The money my most honorable Compere , shall without fayle obserue your appointed howre .

Pet. Thankes my deare Gossip . I must now impart To your approued loue , a louing secret : As one on whome my life doth more relie In friendly trust , then any man aliue . Nor shall you be the chosen Secretarie Of my affections , for affection onely ; For I protest , ( if God blesse my returne , ) To make you Partner , in my actions gaine As deepely , as if you had ventur'd with me Halfe my expences . Know then , honest Gossip , I haue inioyed with such diuine contentment , A Gentle womans Bedde , whome you well knowe , That I shall nere enioy this tedious Voiage , Nor liue the lest part of the time it asketh , Without her presence ; So I thirst and hunger To taste the deare feast of her companie . And if the hunger and the thirst you vow ( As my sworne Gossip ) to my wished good Be ( as I knowe it is ) vnfainde and firme , Doe mee an easie fauour in your Power . Secur. Bee sure braue Gossip , all that I can doe To my best Nerue , is wholly at your seruice : Who is the woman ( first ) that is your friend ? Pet. The woman is your learned Counsailes wife , The Lawyer Maister Bramble : whome would you , Bring out this Euen , in honest Neighbour-hood To take his leaue with you , of me your Gossip . I , in the meane time , will send this my friende Home to his house , to bring his wife disguis'd Before his face , into our companie : For Loue hath made her looke for such a wile , To free her from his tyranous Ielosie . And I would take this course before another : In stealing her away to make vs sport , And gull his circumspection the more grosely . And I am sure that no man like your selfe , Hath credite with him to entice his Ielosie , To so long staye abrode , as may giue time To her enlardgment , in such safe disguise . Secu. A pretie , pithie , and most pleasant proiect ! Who would not straine a point of Neigh-bourhood , For such a point , de-vice ? that as the shippe Of famous Draco , went about the world , Will wind about the Lawyer , compassing , The world him selfe , he hath it in his armes : And that 's enough , for him , without his wife . A Lawyer is Ambitious , and his head , Can not bee prais'de , nor rais'de too high , With any Forcke , of highest knauerye . I le goe fetche her straight . Exit Securitie . Per. So , so , Now Franke goe thou home to his house , Stead of his Lawyers , and bring his wife hether : Who iust like to the Lawyers wife , is prison'd , With his sterne vsurous Ielosie ; which could neuer Be ouer reacht-thus , but with ouer-reaching . Enter Securitie . Secu. And M. Francis , watch you th' instant time To Enter with his Exit : t'wilbe rare , Two fine horn'd Beastes A Cammell and a Lawyer ! Quickesiluer . How the olde villaine ioyes in villany ? Enter Secur . And harke you Gossip , when you haue her here , Haue your Bote ready , shippe her to your Ship With vtmost haste , lest Maister Bramble stay you , To o're reach that head that outreacheth all heads ? T is a trick Rampant ; T is a very Quiblyn ; I hope this haruest , to pitch cart with Lawyers ; Their heads wil be so forked ; This slie tooche Will get Apes to inuent a number such . Exit . Quick.

Was euer Rascall , honied so with poyson ? He that delights in slauish Auarice . Is apt to ioy in euery sort of vice .

Wel , I le goe fetch his wife , whilst he the Lawyers .

Pet.

But stay Franck , le ts thinke how we may disguise her vpon this sodaine .

Quick.

Gods me there 's the mischiefe ; but harke you , here 's an excellent deuice ; fore God a Rare one : I will carry her a Saylers gowne and cap and couer her ; & a players beard ;

Pet.

And what vpon her head ?

Quick.

I tell you a Sailers Cap : slight God forgiue mee , what kind of figent memory haue you ?

Pet. Nay then , what kinde of figent wit hast thou ? A Saylers cap ? how shall she put it off When thou presentst her to our companie ? Quick.

Tush man , for that , make her a sawcie sayler .

Pet.

Tush tush t is no fit sawce for such sweete mutton ; I know not what t' aduise .

Enter Secur with his wiues gowne . Secur.

Knight , knight a rare deuise .

Pet.

Sownes yet againe .

Quick.

What stratagem haue you now ?

Secur.

The best that euer . You talkt of disguising ?

Pet.

I may Gossip that 's our present care .

Secur. Cast care a way then , here 's the best deuice For plaine Security ( for I am no better ) I think that euer liu'd : here 's my wiues gowne Which you may put vpon the Lawyers wife , And which I brought you sir for two great reasons ; One is , that Maister Bramble may take hold Of some suspition that it is my wife , And gird me so perhaps with his law wit , The other ( which is pollicie indeede ) Is , that my wife may now be tyed at home , Hauing no more but her old gowne abroade , And not showe me a quirck , while I fyrke others . Is not this rare ? Ambo.

The best that euer shas .

Secur.

Am I not borne to furnish Gentlemen ?

Pet.

O my deare Gossip !

Secur.

Well hold Maister Francis , watch when the Lawyer 's out , and put it in ; and now � I will go fetch him . Exit .

Quick.

O my Dad ! he goes as t were the Deuill to fetch the Lawyer ; and deuill shall he be if hornes wil make him .

Pet.

why how now Gossip , why stay you there musing ?

Secur.

A toye , a toy runns in my head yfaith .

Quick.

A pox of that head , is there more toyes yet ?

Pet.

What is it pray thee Gossip ?

Secur.

Why Sir ? what if you should slip away now with my wiues best gowne . I hauing no securitie for it ?

Quick.

For that I hope Dad you will take our words .

Secu. I by th' masse your word that 's a proper staffe For wise Security to leane vpon ; But t is no matter , once I le trust my Name , On your crackt credits , let it take no shame , Fetch the wench Franck . Exit . Quick. I le wait vpon you sir . And fetch you ouer , you were nere so fetcht : Go , to the Tauerne Knight , your followers Dare not be drunke I thinke , before their Captaine . Exit . Pet. Would I might lead them to no hotter seruise , Till our Virginian gould were in our purses Exit . Enter Seagull Spendall and Scapthrift in the Tauerne with a Drawer . Sca.

Come Drawer , pierce your neatest Hogsheades , & le ts haue cheare , not fit for your Billingsgate Tauerne ; but for our Virginian Colonel ; he wil be here instantly .

Draw.

You shall haue all things fit sir ; please you haue any more Wine .

Spend,

More wine Slaue ? whether we drinke it or no , spill it , and drawe more .

Scap.

Fill all the pottes in your house with all sorts of licour , and let 'hem waite on vs here like Souldiers in their Pewter , coates ; And though we doe not employe them now , yet wee will maintaine 'hem , till we doe .

Draw.

Said like an honourable Captaine ; you shall haue all you can command Sir . Exit Drawer .

Sea.

Come boyes , Virginia longs till we share the rest of her Maiden-head ,

Spend.

Why is she inhabited already with any English ?

Sea.

A whole Country of English is there man , bred of those that were left there in 79. They haue married with the Indians , and make 'hem bring forth as beautifull faces as any we haue in England : and therefore the Indians are so in loue with 'hem , that all the treasure they haue , they lay at their feete .

Scap.

But is there such treasure there Captaine , as I haue heard ?

Sea.

I tell thee , Golde is more plentifull there then Copper is with vs : and for as much redde Copper as I can bring , I le haue thrice the waight in Golde . Why man all their dripping Pans and their Chamber pottes are pure Gold ; and all the Chaines , with which they chaine vp their streetes , are massie Golde ; all the Prisoners they take , are fetterd in Gold : and for Rubies and Diamonds , they goe forth on holydayes and gather 'hem by the Sea-shore , to hang on their childrens Coates , and sticke in their Capps , as commonly as our children weare Saffron guilt Brooches , and groates with hoales in 'hem .

Scap.

And is it a pleasant Countrie withall ?

Sea.

As euer the Sunne shinde on : temperate and full of all sorts of excellent viands ; wilde Boare is as common there , as our tamest Bacon is here : Venison , as Mutton . And then you shall liue freely there , without Sargeants , or Courtiers , or Lawyers , or Intelligencers . Then for your meanes to aduancement , there , it is simple , and not preposterously mixt : You may be an Alderman there , and neuer be Scauinger ; you may be any other officer , and neuer be a Slaue . You may come to preferment enough , and neuer be a

Pandar .

To Riches , and Fortune inough and haue neuer the more Villany , nor the lesse wit . Besides , there , we shall haue no more Law then Conscience , and not too much of either ; serue God inough , eate and drinke inough , and inough is as good as a Feast .

Spend.

Gods me ! and how farre is it thether ?

Sea.

Some six weekes sayle , no more , with any indifferent good winde : And If I get to any part of the coaste of Affrica , I le saile thether with any winde . Or when I come to Cape Finister , ther 's a foreright winde continuall wasts vs till we come at Virginia . See , our Collonell 's come .

Enter Sir Petronell with his Followers . Petr.

Well mette good Captaine Seagull , and my Noble Gentlemen ! Nowe the sweete houre of our freedome is at hand .

Come Drawer . Fill vs some carowses ; and prepare vs for the mirth , that will be occasioned presently : Here will be a prety wenche Gentlemen , that will beare vs company all our voyage .

Sea.

Whatsoeuer she be ; here 's to her health Noble Colonell , both with Cap and Knee .

Petr.

Thankes kinde Captaine Seagull . Shee 's one I loue dearely ; and must not bee knowne till we bee free from all that knowe vs : And so Gentlemen , heer 's to her health .

Ambo.

Let it come worthy Collonell , Wee doe hunger and thirst for it ,

Petr.

Afore heauen , you haue hitte the phrase of one that her presence will touch , from the foote to the forehead , if ye knew it .

Spend.

Why then we wil ioyne his forehead , with her health , sir : and Captaine Scapethrift , here 's to 'hem both ,

Enter Securitie and Bramble . Secu.

See , see , Maister Bramble ; fore heauen their voyage cannot but prosper , they are o' their knees for successe to it .

Bram.

And they pray to God Bacchus .

Secu.

God saue my braue Colonell with all his tall Captaines and Corporalls ; see sir , my worshipfull learned Counsaile , M. Bramble , is come to take his leaue of you .

Pet.

Worshipfull M. Bramble , how farre doe you drawe vs into the sweete bryer of your kindnesse ? come Captain Seagull , another health to this rare Bramble , that hath neuer a pricke about him .

Sea.

I pledge his most smooth disposition sir : come maister Securitie , bend your supporters , and pleadge this notorious health here .

Secu.

Bend you yours likewise , M. Bramble , for it is you shal pleadge me .

Sea.

Not so , M. Securitie , hee must not pleadge his owne health .

Secu.

No Maister Captaine ? Enter Quickesiluer with Winny disguis'd .

Why then here 's one is fitly come to doe him that honour .

Quick.

Here 's the Gentlewoman your cosin sir , whom with much entreatie I haue brought to take her leaue of you in a Tauerne ; asham'd whereof , you must pardon her if she put not off her Maske .

Pet.

Pardon mee sweete Cosen , my kinde desire to see you before I went , made mee so importunate to entreat your presence here .

Secu.

How now M. Frances ? haue you honour'd this presence with a faire Gentlewoman ?

Quick.

Pray sir , take you no notice of her , for she will not be knowne to you .

Secu.

But my learn'd Counsaile , M. Bramble here , I hope may know her .

Quick.

No more then you sir , at this time , his learning must pardon her .

Secu.

Well , God pardon her for my part , and I doe I le bee sworne ; and so Maister Francis , here 's to all that are going Eastward to night , towardes Cuckolds hauen ; and so to the health of Maister Bramble .

Quick.

I pledge it Sir , hath it gone rounde , Captaines ?

Sea.

It has sweet Franck , and the rounde closes with thee .

Quic.

Wel Sir , here 's to al Eastward & toward Cuckolds , & so to famouse Cuckolds hauen so fatally remembred . Surgit .

Pet.

Nay pray thee Cuz weepe not ; Gossip Securitie ?

Secu.

I my braue Gossip .

Pet.

A word I beseech you Sir ; our friende , Mistresse Bramble here , is so dissolu'd in teares , that shee drownes the whole mirth of our meeting : sweete Gossip , take her aside and comfort her .

Secu.

Pittie of all true loue , Mistresse Bramble , what weepe you to enioy your loue ? what 's the cause Ladie ? i st because your husband is so neere , and your heart earnes , to haue a litle abus'd him ? Ahlas , Ahlas , the offence is too common to be respected ; So great a grace , hath seldome chanc'd to so vnthankfull a woman ; to be rid of an old ielous Dotard ; to enioy the armes , of a louing young Knight ; that when your prick-lesse Bramble is withered with griefe of your losse , will make you floorish a fresh in the Bed of a Ladie .

Enter Drawer . Draw.

Sir Petronell , here 's one of your water men come to tell you , it wil be flood these three houres ; and that t' will bee dangerous going against the Tyde : for the skie is ouer cast , & there was a Porcpisce , euen now seene at Londo� bridge , which is alwaies the messenger of tempests , he sayes .

Pet.

A Porcpisce ? what 's that to th' purpose ? charge him if he loue his life to attend vs : can we not reach Blacke wall ( where my ship lyes ) against the tide , and in spight of Tempests ? Captaines and Gentlemen , wee 'll begin a new ceremony at the beginning of our voyage , which I beleeue will be followd of all future aduenturers .

Sea.

What 's that good Colonell ?

Pet.

This , Captaine Seagull ; wee 'll haue our prouided Supper brought a bord Sir Francis Drakes Ship , that hath compast the world : where with full Cupps , and Banquets we wil doe sacrifice for a prosperous voyage . My minde giues me that some good Spirits of the waters should haunt the desart ribs of her ; and be auspicious to all that honour her memorie , and will with like Orgies , enter their voyages .

Sea.

Rarely conceipted ; one health more to this motion , & aboard to performe it . He that wil not this night be drunke , may he neuer be Sober . They compasse in Wynnifrid , daunce the dronken round , and drinke carowses .

Bram.

Sir Petronell and his honourable Captaines in these young seruices , we olde Seruitors may bee spard : We onely came to take our leaues , and with one health to you all , I le be bold to do so . Here neighbour Securitie , to the health of Sir Petronell , and all his Captaines .

Secu.

You must bend then Maister Bramble ; So , now I am for you : I haue one corner of my braine , I hope , fit to beare one carouse more . Here Lady , to you that are encompast there , & are asham'd of our company . Ha , ha , ha , by my troth , ( my learn'd counsaile Maister Bramble ) my minde runnes so of Cuckolds hauen to night , that my Head runnes ouer with admiration .

Bram.

But is not that your wife , Neighbour ?

Secu.

No by my troth Maister Bramble ; ha , ha , ha , a Pox of all Cuckolds-hauens I say .

Bram.

A' my faith , her garments are exceeding like your wiues .

Secu.

Cucullus non facit Monachum , my learn'd Counsaile ; all are not Cuckolds that seeme so , nor all seeme not that are so . Giue me your hand , my learn'd Counsaile , you and I will Supp some where else , then at Sir Frances Drakes Shipp to night . Adue my Noble Gossip .

Bram.

Good Fortune braue Captaines ; faire skies God send yee .

Omnes .

Farewell my harts , farewell .

Pet.

Gossip , laugh no more at Cuckolds-hauen Gossip .

Secu.

I haue done , I haue done Sir , will you leade Maister Bramble ? ha , ha , ha .

Pet.

Captaine Seagull , charge a boate .

Omnes .

A Boate , a boate , a boate . Exeunt .

Draw.

Y' are in a proper taking indeed to take a Boate , especially at this time of night , and against Tide and Tempest ; They say yet , drunken men neuer take harme ; this night will trie the truth of that Prouerbe . Exit .

Enter Securitie . Secu.

What Winnie ? Wife , I say ? out of dores at this time ! where should I seeke the Gad-flye ? Billingsgate , Billingsgate ,

Billingsgate .

Shee 's gone with the Knight , shee 's gone with the Knight ; woe be to thee Billingsgate . A boate , a boate , a boate , a full hunderd Markes for a boate . Exit .

Actus Quartus . Scena Prima . Enter Slitgut , with a paire of Oxe hornes , discouering Cuckolds-Hauen aboue . Slit.

All haile , faire Hauen of married men onely , for there are none but married men Cuckolds . For my part , I presume not to arriue here , but in my Maisters behalfe , ( a poore Butcher of East-cheape ) who sends me to set vp ( in honour of Saint Luke ) these necessarie Ensignes of his homage : And vp I got this morning , thus early , to get vp to the toppe of this famous Tree , that is all fruite and no leaues , to aduance this Crest of my Maisters occupation . Vp then , Heauen and Saint Luke blesse me , that I be not blowne into the Thames as I clime , with this furious Tempest ; Slight , I thinke the Deuill be abroade , in likenesse of a storme , to rob me of my Hornes : Harke how he roares . Lord ! what a coyle the Thames keepes ! she beares some vniust burthen I beleeue , that she kicks and curuets thus to cast it : Heauen blesse all honest passengers , that are vpon her back now , for the Bitte is out of her mouth I see , and shee will runne away with 'hem . So , so , I thinke I haue made it looke the right way , it runnes against London-Bridge ( as it were ) euen full butt . And now , let mee discouer from this loftie prospect , what pranckes the rude Thames playes in her desperate lunacie . O me , here 's a Boate has beene cast away hard by . Alas , alas , See one of her passengers , labouring for his life , to land at this Hauen here ; pray heauen he may recouer it : His next land is eue� iust vnder me ; hold out yet a little : whatsoeuer thou art , pray , and take a good heart to thee . T is a man , take a mans heart to thee ; yet a little further , get vp a thy legges man : now , t is snallowe enough . So , so , so ! Alas , hee 's downe againe ; hold thy winde Father : t is a man in a Night-cappe . So ! now hee 's got vp againe : now hee 's past the worst : yet thankes be to heauen ; he comes toward me pretie and strongly .

Enter Securitie without his hat , in an Night-cap , wett , band , &c. Secu.

Heauen , I beseech thee , how haue I offended thee ! where am I cast a shore nowe , that I may goe a righter way home by land ? Let me see . O I am scarce able to looke about me ! where is there any Sea-marke that I am acquainted withall ?

Slit.

Looke vp Father , are you acquainted with this Marke ?

Secu.

What! landed at Cuckolds hauen ? Hell and damnation . I will runne backe and drowne my selfe . He falles downe .

Slit.

Poore man how weake hee is ! the weake water ha's washt away his strength .

See.

Landed at Cuckolds hauen ? if it had not bin to die twentie times a liue , I should neuer haue scapt death : I will neuer arise more : I will grouell here , and eate durt till I be choak't : I will make the gentle earth doe that , which the cruell water ha's denied me .

Slit.

Alas good father , be not so desperate ; Rise man : if you will , I le come presently and lead you home .

Secu.

Home ? shall I make any know my Home , that has knowne me thus abrode ? how I owe shall I crouch away , that no eye may see mee ? I will creepe on the earth while I liue , and neuer looke heauen in the face more . Exit creep .

Slit.

What yong Planet raignes now troe , that olde men are so foolish ? What desperate yong Swaggerer would haue bin abroad such a wether as this , vpon the water ? Ay me , see a nother remnant of this vnfortunate ship-wrack ! or some other . A woman ! yfaith , a woman , though it be almost at S. Kath'rins , I discerne it to be a woman for al her bodie is aboue the water , & her clothes swim about her most handsomely . O they beare her vp most brauely ! has not a woman reason to loue the taking vp of her cloathes the better while she liues , for this ? Alas , how busie the rude Thames is about her ? A pox a'th at waue . It wil drowne her , yfaith , t will drowne her . Crye God mercie , shee has scapt it ! I thanke heauen she has scapt it . O , how she swimmes like a Mermaide ! some vigilant body looke out , and saue her . That 's well said , iust where the Priest fell in , there 's one sets downe a Ladder , and goes to take her vp : Gods blessing a thy heart boy , now take her vp in thy armes and to bedde with her . Shee 's vp , shee 's vp ! Shee 's a beautifull woman I warrant her , the Billowes durst not deuoure her .

Enter the Drawer in the Tauerne before with Wynnyfrid . Draw.

How fare you now Lady ?

Wynn.

Much better , my good friende then I wishe : as one desperate of her Fame , now my Life is preseru'd .

Draw.

Comfort your selfe ; That power that preserued you from death : can likewise defend you from infamie , howsoeuer you deserue it . Were not you one that tooke Bote , late this night , with a Knight , and other Gentlemen at Billings-gate ?

Wynn.

Vnhappy that I am , I was .

Draw.

I am glad it was my good happe to come downe thus farre after you , to a house of my friends heere in S. Kath'rines , since I am now happily made a meane to your rescue , from the ruthlesse tempest ; which ( when you tooke Bote ) was so extreame , and the Gentleman that brought you forth , so desperate and vnsober , that I fear'd long ere this I should heare of your ship-wracke , and therefore ( with little other reason ) made thus farre this way : And this I must tell you , since perhappes you may make vse of it , there was left behinde you at our Tauerne , brought by a Porter ( hyr'd by the yong Gentleman that brought you ) a Gentle womans Gowne , Hat , Stockings , and Shooes ; which if they be yours , and you please to shift you , taking a hard bed here , in this house of my friend , I will presently goe fetch you .

Wynn.

Thanks my good friend , for your more then good newes . The Gowne with all things bounde with it are myne ; which if you please to fetch as you haue promist , I will bouldly receiue the kinde fauour you haue offered , till your returne : intreating you , by all the good you haue done in preseruing me hitherto , to let none take knowledge of what fauour you doe me , or where such a one as I am bestowed , lest you incurre mee much more damage in my fame , then you haue done me pleasure in preseruing my life .

Draw.

Come in Lady , and shift your selfe ; resolue , that nothing , but your owne pleasure , shall bee vsde in your discouery .

Wynn.

Thanke you good friende : the time may come , I shall requite you . Exeunt .

Slit.

See , see , see ! I hold my life , there 's some other a taking vp at Wapping , now ! Looke , what a sort of people cluster about the Gallows there ! in good troth it is so . O me ! a fine yong Gentleman ! What ? and taken vp at the Gallowes ? Heauen graunt he be not one day taken downe there : A , my life it is ominous . Well , hee is deliuered for the time , I see the people haue all left him ; yet will I keepe my prospect a while , to see if any more haue bin shipwrackt . Enter Quick , bareheade .

Quick. Accur'st , that euer I was sau'd , or borne . How fatall is my sad ariuall here ? As if the Starres , and Prouidence spake to mee , And sayd , the drift of all vnlawfull courses , ( What euer ende they dare propose themselues , In frame of their licentious policyes . ) In the firme order of iust Destinie , They are the ready high wayes to our Ruines . I know not what to doe , my wicked hopes Are , with this Tempest , torne vp by the rootes . O , which way shall I bend my desperate steppes , In which vnsufferable Shame and Miserie Will not attend them ? I will walke this Banck , And see if I can meete the other reliques Of our poore ship-wrackt Crew , or heare of them . The Knight ( alas ) was so farre gone with wine , And th' other three , that I refus de their Boate , And tooke the haplesse Woman in another , Who cannot but be suncke , what euer Fortune Hath wrought vpon the others desperate liues . Enter Petronel , and Seagul , bareheaded . Pet.

Zounds Captaine , I tell thee , we are cast vp o' the Coast of France , Sfoote , I am not drunke still , ( I hope ? ) Dost remember where we were last Night ?

Sea.

No by my troth Knight , not I . but me thinkes wee haue bin a horrible while vpon the water , and in the water .

Pet.

Aye me we are vndone for euer : hast any money about thee ?

Sea.

Not a pennie by heauen .

Pet.

Not a pennie betwixt vs , and cast a shore in France ?

Sea.

Faith I cannot tell that ; my braines , nor mine eyes are not mine owne , yet .

Enter 2. Gentlemen Pet.

Sfoote wilt not beleeue me ? I know 't by th' eleuation of the Pole ; and by the altitude and latitude of the Climate . See! hers comes a coople of French Gentlemen ; I knew we were in France : dost thou think our Englishmen are so Frenchyfied , that a man knowes not whether he be in France , or in England , whe� he sees 'hem ? What shal we doe ? we must cene to 'hem , and intreat some reliefe of hem : Life is sweete , and we haue no other meanes to relieue our liues now , but their Charities ;

Sea.

Pray you , do you beg on 'hem the� , you can speak French .

Pet.

Monsieur , plaist il d'auoir pitie de nostre grand infortunes ? Iesuis vn poure Cheualier D'Angloterre qui a souffris infortune de Naufrage .

1. Gent.

Vn poure Cheualier D'Angliterre ?

Pet.

Oui Monsieur , il est trop vraye ; mais vovs scaves bien nous somes toutes subiect a fortune .

2. Gent.

A poore Knight of England ? a poore Knight of Windsore , are you not ? Why speake you this broken French , when y' are a whole English man ? on what coaste are you , thinke you ?

Pet.

on the coast of France , sir .

1. Gen.

On the cost of Doggs Sir : Y' are i th' I le a Doggs I tell you . I see y 'aue bene washt in the Thames here , & I beleeue ye were drownd in a Tauerne before , or els you would neuer haue tooke boate in such a dawning as this was . Farewel , farewel , we wil not know you for shaming of you . I ken the man wee l , hee 's one of my thirty pound Knights .

2. Gen.

No no , this is he that stole his knighthood o' the grand day , for foure pound giuing to a Page , all the money in 's purse I wot well . Exeunt .

Sea.

Death , Collonell , I knew you were ouer shot .

Pet.

Sure I thinke now indeede , Captaine Seagull , we were something ouershot . Enter Quicksiluer .

What ! my sweete Franck Quicksiluer ! dost thou surviue to reioyce me ? But what ? no bodie at thy heels , Franck ? Ay me , what is become of poore Mistresse Securitie .

Quick.

Faith gone quite from her Name , as she is from her Fame I thinke ; I left her to the mercie of the water .

Sea.

Let her goe , let her goe : let vs go to our ship at Blackwall and shift vs .

Pet.

Nay by my troth , let our clothes rotte vpon vs . and let vs rotte in them : twentie to one our Ship is attacht by this time ? if we set her not vnder Saile this last Tide , I neuer lookt for any other . Woe , woe is me , what shall become of vs ? the last money we could make , the greedy Thams has deuourde ; and if our Ship be attach't , there is no hope can relieue vs .

Quic.

Sfoote Knight , what an vn-knightly faintnesse transports thee ? let our Ship sinck , and all the world that 's without vs be taken from vs , I hope I haue some tricks , in this braine of mine , shall not let vs perish .

Sea.

Well said Francke faith . O my nimble-spirited Quick-siluer , Foregod , would thou hadst beene our Colonell .

Petr.

I like his spirit rarely , but I see no meanes he has to support that spirit .

Quic.

Go to Knight , I haue more meanes then thou art aware off : I haue not liu'd amongst Gould-smiths and Gouldmakers all this while , but I haue learned something worthy of my time with 'hem . And , not to let thee stinck where thou standst , Knight , I le let thee know some of my skill presently .

Sea.

Doe good Francke I beseech thee .

Quic.

I will blanche Copper so cunningly , that it shall endure all proofes , but the Test : it shall endure malleation , it shal haue the ponderositie of Luna , and the tenacitie of Luna , by no meanes friable .

Petr.

Slight , where learn'st thou these tearmes , tro ?

Quic.

Tush Knight , the tearmes of this Arte , euery ignorant Quack-saluer is perfect in : but I le tell you how your selfe shal blanche Copper thus cunningly . Take Arsnicke , otherwise called Realga , ( which indeede is plaine Ratsbane ) Sublime 'hem three or foure times , then take the Sublimate of this Realga , and put 'hem into a Glasse , into Chymia , & let 'hem haue a conuenient decoction Naturall , foure and twentie houres , & he will become perfectly fixt : Then take this fixed powder , & proiect him vpon wel-purgd Copper , et habebis Magistriu� .

Ambo.

Excellent Francke , let vs hugge thee .

Quick.

Nay this I will do besides ; I le take you off twelue pence from euery Angell , with a kind of Aquafortis , and neuer deface any part of the Image .

Pet.

But then it will want weight ?

Quic.

You shall restore that thus : Take your sal Achyme prepar'd , and your distild Vrine ; and let your Angels lie in it but foure and twenty howres , and they shall haue their perfect weight againe : come on now I hope this is enough to put some spirit into the liuers of you , I le infuse more an other time . We haue saluted the proud Ayre long enough with our bare skonces , now will I haue you to a wenches house of mine at London , there make shift to shift vs , and after such fortunes as the stars shal assigne vs .

Ambo.

Notable Franck ! we will euer adore thee . Exeunt .

Enter Drawer with Wynifrid , new attird . Wyn.

Nowe sweete friende you haue brought me nere enough your Tauerne , which I desired that I might with some colour be seene neare , enquiring for my husband ; who I must tel you stale thither last with my wet gowne we haue left at your friends : which , to continue your former honest kindnes , let me pray you to keepe close from the knowledge of any ; and so , with all vow of your requitall , let me now entreate you to leaue me to my womans wit , and fortune .

Draw.

All shall be done you desire ; and so , all the fortune you can wish for , attend you . Exit Draw .

Enter Securitie . Secu.

I wil once more to this vnhappy Tauerne before I shift one ragge of me more , that I may there know what is left behind , and what newes of their passengers . I haue bought me a Hat and band with the little money I had about me , and made the streets a litle leaue staring at my night-cap .

Win.

O my deare husband ! where haue you bin to night ? al night abroade at Tauernes ? rob me of my garments ? and fare as one run away from me ? Ahlas ! is this seemely for a man of your credit ? of your age ? and affection to your wife ?

Secu.

What should I say ? how miraculously sorts this ? was not I at home , and cald thee last night ?

Win.

Yes Sir , the harmelesse sleepe you broke , and my answer to you would haue witnest it , if you had had the patience to haue staid and answered me ; but your so sodaine retreate , made me imagine you were gone to Maister Brambles , and so rested patient , and hopefull of your comming againe , till this your unbeleeued absence brought me abroade with no lesse then wonder , to seeke you , where the false Knight had carried you .

Secu.

Villaine , and Monster that I was , howe haue I abus'd thee , I was sodainly gone indeede ! for my sodaine ielousie transferred me . I will say no more but this deare wife I suspected thee .

Win.

Did you suspect me ?

Secu.

Talke not of it I beseech thee , I am ashamed to imagine it ; I will home , I will home , and euery morning on my knees aske thee hartely forgiuenes . Exeunt . Nowe will I descend my honourable Prospect ; the farthiest seeing Sea marke of the World : Noe maruaile then if I could see two miles about me . I hope the redde Tempests anger be nowe ouer blowne , which sure I thinke Heauen sent as a punishment , for prophaning holy Saint Lukes memorie , with so ridiculous a custome . Thou dishonest Satyre , farewel to honest married Men ; Farewel , to all sorts , and degrees of thee . Farewel thou horne of hu�ger that calst th' Inns a court to their Manger ; Farewel thou horne of abounda�ce , that adornest the headsmen of the Common-wealth ; Farewell thou home of Direction , that is the Cittie Lanthorne ; Farewell thou Horne of Pleasure , the Ensigne of the huntsman ; Farewell thou Horne of Destinie , the signe of the married man ; Farewell thou Horne Tree that bearest nothing but Stone fruite Exit .

Enter Touchstone . Touch.

Ha Sirah ! Thinkes my Knight Aduenturer we can no point of our compasse ? Doe wee not knowe North-north-east ? North-east and by East ? East and by North ! nor plaine Eastward ? Ha ? haue we neuer heard of Virginia ? nor the Cauallaria ? not the Colonoria ? Can we discouer no discoueries ? well , mine errant Sir Flash , and my runnagate Quicksiluer , you may drinke dronke , crack cannes , hurle away a browne dozen of Monmouth Capps or so , in sea-ceremonie to your boon voyage but for reaching any Coast saue the coast of Kent ; or Essex , with this Tide , or with this fleete , I le be your warrant for a Grauesend Tost : There 's that gone afore , wil stay your Admiral and Vice-admirall , and Rere-admirall , were they al ( as they are ) but one Pinnace , and vnder saile , as wel as a Remora , doubt it not ; and from this Sconce , without eyther pouder or shot , worke vpon that now . Nay , and you 'll shew trickes , wee 'l vie with you , a little . My Daughter , his Lady , was sent Eastward , by land , to a Castle of his , i' the ayre ( in what region I knowe not ) and ( as I heare ) was glad to take vp her lodging in her Coach , she and her two waiting women , her maide , and her mother , like three Snailes in a shall , and the Coachman a top on 'hem , I thinke . Since they haue all found the way back againe by weeping Crosse . But I le not see them . And for two on 'hem , Madam , and her Malkm , they are like to bite o the bridle for William , as the poore horses haue done al this while that hurried 'hem , or else go graze o' the co�mon : So should my Dame Touchstone too , but she has bene my Crosse these thirty yeares , and I le now keepe her , to fright away sprights ; Ifaith . I wonder I heare no news of my sonne Goulding ! He was sent for to the Guild-hall , this Morning betimes , and I maruaile at the matter , if I had not layd vp Comfort , & hope in him , I should grow desperate of al . See , He is come I' my thought ! How now Sonne ? what newes at the Court of Aldermen ?

Enter Goulding . Gould .

Troth Sir , an Accident somewhat strange , els it hath litle in it worth the reporting .

Touch.

What ? It is not borrowing of money then ?

Gold.

No sir it hath pleasd the worshipful Commoners of the citty , to take me one i' their number at presentation of the inquest

Touch.

Ha!

Gould .

And the Alderman of the warde wherein Idwel , to appoint me his Deputy �

Touch.

Howe !

Gold.

In which place , I haue had an oath ministred me , since I went .

Touch.

Now my deare , & happy Sonnellet we kisse thy new worship , & a litle boast mine own happines in thee : What a fortune was it ( or rather my iudgment indeed ) for me , first to see that in his disposition , which a whole Citty so conspires to second ? Tane into the Liuory of his copany , the first day of his freedo�e ? now ( not a weeke maried ) chosen Commoner ? and Aldermans Deputie in a day ? note but the reward of a thrifty course . The wo�der of his Time ! Wel , I wil honour M. Alderman , for this act , ( as becomes me ) & shall think the better of the cômon Councels wisdo�e , & worship , while I liue , for thus meeting , or but co�ming after me in the opinion of his desert . Forward , my sufficient Sonne , and as this is the first , so esteeme it the least step , to that high and prime honour that expects thee .

Goul.

Sir , as I was not ambitious of this , so I couet no higher place ; it hath dignity enough , if it will but saue me from contempt : and I had rather my bearing , in this , or any other office , should adde worth to it ; then the Place giue the least opinion to me .

Touch.

Excellently spoken : This modest Answer of thine blushes , as if it said , I will weare Scarlet shortly . Worshipfull Sonne ! I cannot containe my selfe , I must tell thee , I hope to see thee one o' the Monuments of our Citty , and reckon'd among her worthies , to be remembred the same day with the Lady Ramsey , and graue Gresham : when the famous fable of Whittington , and his Pusse , shall be forgotten , and thou and thy Actes become the Posies for Hospitals , when thy name shall be written vpon Conduits , and thy deeds plaid i' thy life time , by the best companies of Actors , and be call'd their Get-peny . This I diuine . This I Prophecie .

Gold.

Sir , engage not your expectation farder , then my abilities will answer : I that know mine owne strengths , feare 'hem ; and there is so seldome a losse in promising the least , that commonly it brings with it a welcome deceipt . I haue other newes for you Sir .

Touch.

None more welcome , I am sure ?

Gould .

They haue their degree of welcome , I dare affirme . The Colonell , and all his company , this morning putting forth drunke from Belinsgate , had like to haue been cast away o'th is side Greenwich : and ( as I haue intelligence , by a false Brother , ) are come dropping to towne , like so many Masterlesse men , i' their doublets and hose , without Hatte , or Cloake , or any other �

Touch.

A miracle ! the Iustice of Heauen ! where are they ? le ts goe presently and lay for 'hem .

Goul.

I haue done that already Sir , both by Constables , and other officers , who shall take 'hem at their old Anchor ; and with lesse tumult , or suspition , then if your selfe were seene in 't : vnder coulour of a great Presse , that is now abroad , and they shall here be brought afore me .

Touch.

Prudent , & politique sonne ! Disgrace 'hem all that euer thou canst ; their Ship I haue already arrested . How to my wish it falls out , that thou hast the place of a Iusticer vpon 'hem ! I am partly glad of the iniury done to me , that thou maist punish it . Be seuere i' thy place , like a new officer o' the first quarter , vnreflected : you heare how our Lady is come back with her traine , from the inuisible Castle ?

Gould .

No , where is she ?

Touch.

Within , but I ha' not seene her yet , not her mother ; who now begins to wish her daughter vndub'd , they say , and that she had walkd a foot-pase with her sister . Here they come , stand back .

Touchstone , Mistresse Touchstone , Gyrtrude , Goulding , Mildred , Syndefie .

God saue your Ladiship ; 'saue your good Ladiship : your Ladiship is welcome from your inchanted Castell ; so are your beautious Retinew . I heare your Knight errant is trauayld on strange aduentures : Surely in my minde , your Ladiship hath fish'd faire , and caught a Frog , as the saying is .

Mist. Tou.

Speake to your Father , Madam , & kneele downe .

Gyrt.

Kneele ? I hope I am not brought so low yet : though my Knight be run away , & has sold my land , I am a Lady , stil .

Touch.

Your Ladiship says true , Madam , & it is fitter , and a greater decorum , that I should curtsie to you that are a knights wife , and a Lady , then you be brought a' your knees to me , who am a poore Cullion , and your Father .

Gyr.

Law ! my Father knowes his duty .

Mist. Tou.

O child !

Touch.

And therefore I doe desire your Ladiship , my good Lady Flash in all humility , to depart my obscure Cottage , and returne in quest of your bright , and most transparent Castell , how euer presently conceald to mortall eyes . And as for one poore woman of your traine here , I will take that order , she shall no longer be a charge vnto you , nor helpe to spend your Ladiship ; she shall stay at home with me , and not goe abroad , not put you to the pawning of an odde Coach-horse , or three wheeles , but take part with the Touchstone : If we lacke , we wil not complaine to your Ladiship . And so good Madam , with your Damoselle here , please you to let vs see your straight backs , in equipage ; for truly , here is no roust for such Chickens as you are , or birds o' your feather , if it like your Ladiship .

Gyrt.

Mary , fyste o' your kindnesse . I thought as much . Come away Sinne , we shall assoone get a fart from a dead man , as a farthing of court'sie here .

Mild.

O , good Sister !

Gyrt.

Sister , sir reuerence ? come away , I say , Hunger drops out at his nose .

Goul.

O Madam , Faire words neuer hurt the tongue .

Gyrt.

How say you by that ? you come out with your golde ends now !

Mi. Tou.

Stay Lady-daughter : good husband .

Touch.

Wife , no man loues his fetters , be they made of gold : I list not ha' my head fastned vnder my childs girdle ; as she has brew'd , so let her drinke , a Gods name : she went witlesse to wedding , now she may goe wisely a begging . It 's but hony-Moone yet with her Ladiship ; she has Coach horses , Apparell , Iewels yet left , she needs care for no friends , nor take knowledge of Father , Mother , Brother , Sister , or any body : When those are pawn'd , or spent , perhaps we shall returne into the list of her acquaintance .

Gyrt.

I scorne it ifaith . Come Sinne . ( Exit Gyrt .

Mi. Tou.

O Madam , why do you prouoke your Father , thus ?

Touch.

Nay , nay , eene let Pride goe afore , Shame wil follow after , I warrant you . Come , why doost thou weepe now ? thou art not the first good Cow hast had an ill Calfe , I trust . What 's the newes , with that fellow ? Enter Constable .

Goul.

Sir , the Knight , and your man Quickesiluer are without , will you ha 'hem brought in ?

Touch.

O by any meanes . And Sonne , here 's a Chaire ; appeare terrible vnto 'hem , on the first enter view . Let them behold the melancholy of a Magistrate , and taste the fury of a Citizen in office .

Goul.

Why Sir , I can do nothing to 'hem , except you charge 'hem with somwhat .

Touch.

I will charge 'hem , and recharge 'hem , rather then Authority should want foyle to set it of .

Gould .

No good Sir , I will not .

Touch.

Sonne , it is your place ; by any meanes .

Goul.

Beleeue it , I will not Sir .

Enter Knight Petronell , Quickesiluer , Constable , Officers . Pet.

How Misfortune pursues vs still in our misery !

Quic.

Would it had beene my fortune , to haue beene trust vp at Wapping , rather then euer ha' come here .

Pet.

Or mine , to haue famisht in the Iland .

Quic.

Must Goulding sit vpon vs ?

Consta.

You might carry an M. vnder your girdle to Maister Deputis worship .

Gould .

What are those , maister Constable ?

Const.

And 't please your worship , a couple of Maisterlesse men , I prest for the Low-countries , Sir .

Goul.

Why do you not cary 'hem to Bridewell , according to your order , they may be shipt away ?

Const.

An 't please your Worship , one of 'hem sayes he is a Knight ; and we thought good to shew him to your worship , for our discharge .

Goul.

Which is he ?

Const.

This Sir .

Goul.

And what 's the other ?

Const.

A Knights Fellow Sir , an 't please you .

Goul.

What ? a Knight , and his Fellow thus accoutred ? Where are their Hattes and Feathers , their Rapiers , and their Cloakes ?

Quic.

O they mock vs .

Const.

Nay truely sir , they had cast both their Feathers , and Hattes too , before wee see 'hem . Here 's all their furniture , an 't please you , that we found . They say , Knights are now to be knowne without Feathers , like Cockrels by their Spurres , Sir .

Goul.

What are their names , say they ?

Touch.

Very well this . He should not take knowledge of 'hem in his place , indeeed .

Con.

This is Sir Petronell Flash .

Touch.

How !

Con.

And this Francis Quickesiluer .

Touch.

Is 't possible ? I thought your Worship had beene gone for Virginia , Sir . You are welcome home sir . Your Worship has made a quick returne , it seemes and no doubt a good voyage . Nay pray you be couer'd Sir . How did your Bisquet hold out Sir ? Me thought , I had seene this Gentlemen afore ; good Maister Quickesiluer ! How a degree to the Southward has chang'd you .

Gould .

Doe you know 'hem Father ? Forbeare your offers a litle , you shall be heard anon .

Touch.

Yes , Maister Deputy : I had a small venture with them in the voyage , a Thing , cald a Sonne in Lawe , or so . Officers , you may let 'hem stand alone , they will not runne away , I le giue my word for them . A couple of very honest Gentlemen . One of 'hem was my Prentise , M. Quicksiluer , here , & whe� he had 2. yeare to serue , kept his whore , & his hunting Nag , would play his 100. pound at Gresco , or Primero , as familiarly ( & al a' my purse ) as any bright peice of Crimson on 'hem all , had his changable trunks of Apparel , standing at liuery , with his Mare , his Chest of perfumd linnen , and his Bathing Tubbs , which whe� I told him off , why he � he was a Gentleman , and I a poore Cheapeside Groome . The remedie was , we must part . Since when he hath had the gift of gathering vp some small parcels of mine , to the value of 500. pound disperst among my customers to furnish this his Virginian ve�ture ; wherin this knight was the chiefe , sir Flash : one that married a daughter of mine , Ladefied her , turn'd two thousand poundes worth of good land of hers , into Cash , within the first weeke , bought her a new Gowne , & a Coach , sent her to seeke her fortune by land , whilst himselfe prepared for his fortune by sea , tooke in fresh flesh at Belingsgate , for his owne diet , to serue him the whole voyage , the wife of a certaine vsurer , cald Securitie , who hath bene the broker for 'hem in all this businesse : Please Maister Deputy , Worke vpon that now .

Goul.

If my worshipfull Father haue ended .

Touch.

I haue , it shall please M. Deputy .

Goul.

Well then , vnder correction . �

Touch.

Now sonne , come ouer 'hem with some fine guird , as thus , Knight you shall be encountred , that is , had to the Counter ; or Quicksiluer , I will put you in a crucible or so .

Gould .

Sir Petronell Flash , I am sory to see such flashes as these proceede from a Gentleman of your Quality , & Rancke ; For mine own part , I could wish , I could say , I could not see the� : but such is the misery of Magistrates , and men in Place , that they must not winke at Offenders . Take him aside , I wil heare you anone sir .

Tou.

I like this wel yet : there 's some grace i' the knight , left , He cries .

Goul.

Francis Quick-siluer , would God thou hadst turnd Quack-saluer , rather then run into these dissolute , & lewd courses ; It is great pitty , thou art a proper yong man , of an honest and cleane face , somewhat neere a good one , ( God hath done his part in thee ) but , thou haste made too much , and beene to proud of that face , with the rest of thy body ; for maintenance of which in neate and garish attire , ( onely to be look'd vpon by some light houswifes ) thou hast prodigally consumed much of thy Masters estate : and being by him gently admonish'd , at seueral times , hast returnd thy selfe haughty , and rebellious , in thine answers , thundring out vnciuill comparisons , requiting al his kindnes with a course and harsh behauiour , neuer returning thanks for any one benefit , but receiuing all , as if they had bin Debts to thee , & no Courtesies . I must tel thee Francis , these are manifest signes of an ill nature ; and God doth often punish such pride , and outrecuidance , with scorne and infamy , which is the worst of misfortune . My worshipfull father , what do you please to charge them withall ? from the presse I wil free 'hem Maister Constable .

Const.

Then I le leaue your worship , Sir .

Gold.

No , you may stay , there will be other matters against 'hem .

Touch.

Sir I do charge this Gallant , Maister Quicksiluer , on suspicion of Felony ; and the Knight as being accessary , in the receipt of my goods .

Quick.

O God Sir !

Touch.

Hold thy peace , impude�t varlot , hold thy peace . With what forehead or face , dost thou offer to choppe Logick with me , hauing run such a race of Riot , as thou hast done ? Do's not the sight of this worshipful mans fortune & temper , confound thee , that was thy yonger fellow in houshold , and now come to haue the place of a Iudge vpon thee ? Dost not obserue this ? Which of al thy Gallants , & Gasters , thy Swearers & thy Swaggerers , will come now to mone thy misfortune , or pitty thy penurie ? They le looke out at a window , as thou rid'st in triumph to Tiborne , and crye , yonder goes honest Franck , mad Quicksiluer ; He was a free boone companion , when hee had money , sayes one ; Hang him foole , saies another , he could not keepe it when he had it ; A pox o' the Cullio� his Mr. ( sais a third ) he has brought him to this : when their Pox of pleasure , & their piles of perdition , would haue bene better bestowed vpon thee , that hast ventred for 'hem with the best , and by the clew of thy knauery , brought thy selfe weeping , to the Cart of Calamity .

Quic.

Worshipfull Maister .

Touch.

Offer not to speake , Crocodile , I will not heare a sound come from thee . Thou hast learnt to whine at the Play yonder . Maister Deputy , pray yon commit 'hem both to safe custody , till I be able farther to charge 'hem .

Quic.

O me , what an infortunate thing am I !

Pet.

Will you not take security Sir .

Touch.

Yes mary will I sir Flash , if I can find him , & charge him as deepe as the best on you . He has beene the plotter of all this : he is your Inginer , I heare . Maister Deputy , you 'll dispose of these ? In the meane time , I le to my Lo. Mayor , & get his warrant , to seize that Serpent Securitie into my hands , & seale vp both house , and goods , to the Kings vse , or my satisfaction .

Goul.

Officers take 'hem to the Counter .

Qui. & Pet.

O God .

Touch.

Nay on , on : you see the issue of your Sloth . Of Sloth commeth Pleasure , of Pleasure commeth Riot , of Ryot comes Whoring , of Whoring comes Spending , of Spending comes Want , of Want comes Theft , of Theft comes Hanging ; and there is my Quickesiluer fixt . Exeunt .

Actus Quintus . Scena Prima . Gyrtrude . Sindefie . Gyr.

Ah Sinne ! hast thou euer read i' the Chronicle of any Lady , and her waiting-woman , driuen to that extremity , that we are , Sinne ?

Syn.

Not I truely , Madam , and if I had , it were but colde comfort , should come out of bookes , now .

Gyr.

Why , good faith Sinne , I could dine with a lamentable storie , now . O hone , hone , o no nera , &c. Canst thou tell nere a one , Synne ?

Sin.

None , but mine owne , Madam , which is lamentable inough ; first to be stolne from my Friends , which were worshipfull , and of good accompt , by a Prentile , in the habite and disguise of a Gentleman , and here brought vp to London , and promis'd mariage , and now likely to be forsaken ( for he is in possibility to be hangd . )

Gyr.

Nay weepe not good Sinne . My Petronell , is in as good possibilitie as he . Thy miseries , are nothing to mine , Sinne : I was more then promis'd marriage , Sinne , I had it Sinne : & was made a Lady ; and by a Knight , Sin : which is now as good as no Knight , Sin : And I was borne in London , which is more then brought vp , Sin : and already forsaken ; which is past likelihood , Sin : and in stead of Land i' the Countrey , all my Knights Liuing lies i' the Counter , Syn . there 's his Castle now ?

Syn.

Which hee cannot be forc't out off , Madam .

Gyr.

Yes , if he would liue hungry a weeke , or two . Hunger they say breakes stone wals . But he is eene wel inough seru'd , Sin , that so soone as euer he had got my hand to the sale of my inheritance run away from me , and I had bene his Punke , God blesse vs . Would the Knight o' the Sunne , or Palmerin of England , haue vsd their Ladies so , Syn ? or sir Lancelot ? or sir Tristram ?

Syn.

I doe not know , Madam .

Gry,

Then thou know'st nothing , Syn . Thou art a Foole , Syn . The Knighthood now a daies , are nothing like the Knighthood of old time . They rid a horseback Ours goe afoote . They were attended by their Squires . Our by their Lacquaies . They went buckled in their Armor , Ours muffled in their Cloaks . They trauaild wildernesses ; & desarts , Ours dare scarce walke the streets . They were stil prest to engage their Honour , Ours stil ready to paune their cloaths . They would gallop on at sight of a Mo�ster , Ours run away at sight of a Serieant . They would helpe poore Ladies , Ours make poore Ladies .

Syn.

I Madam , they were Knights of the Round-Table at Winchester , that sought Adue�tures , but these of the Square Table at Ordinaries , that sit at Hazard .

Gyr.

True Syn , let him vanish And tel me , what shal we pawne next

Syn.

I mary , Mada� , a timely consideration , for our Hostes ( prophane woman ) has sworne by bread , & salt , she will not trust vs another meale .

Gyr.

Let it stinke in her hand the� : I le not be beholding to her . Let me see , my Iewels begone , & my Gownes , & my red veluet Petticote , that I was maried in , & my wedding silke stockings , & al thy best apparel , poore Syn . Good faith , rather the� thou shouldest pawne a ragge more , I l'd lay my Ladiship in lauender , if I knew where .

Syn.

Alas , Madam , your Ladiship ?

Gir.

I , why ? you do not scorne my Ladiship , though it is in a Wastcoate ? Gods my life , you are a Peate indeed ! do I offer to morgage my Ladiship , for you , and for your auaile , and do you turne the Lip , and the Alas to my Ladiship ?

Syn.

No Madam , but I make question , who will lend any thing vpon it ?

Gyr.

Who ? marry inow , I warrant you , if you 'le seeke 'hem out . I 'm sure I remember the time , when I would ha' giuen a thousand pound , ( if I had had it ) to haue bin a Ladie ; and I hope I was not bred and borne with that appetite alone : some other gentle-borne o' the Citie , haue the same longing I trust . And for my part , I would afford 'hem a peny'rth , my Ladiship is little the worse , for the wearing , and yet I would bate a good deale of the summe . I would lend it ( let me see ) for 40 li. in hand , Syn , that would apparrell vs ; and ten pound a yeare : that would keepe me , and you , Syn , ( with our needles ) and wee should neuer need to be beholding to our sciruy Parents ? Good Lord , that there are no Fayries now adayes , Syn .

Syn.

Why Madame ?

Gyr.

To doe Miracles , and bring Ladyes money . Sure , if we lay in a cleanly house , they would haunt it , Synne ? I le trie . I le sweepe the Chamber soone at night , & set a dish of water o' the Hearth . A Fayrie may come , and bring a Pearle , or a Diamonde Wee do not know Syn ? Or , there may be a pot of Gold hid o' the backe-side , if we had tooles to digge for 't ? why may not wee two rise earely i' the morning ( Syn ) afore any body is vp , and find a Iewell , i' the streets , worth a 100. li. ? May not some great Court-Lady , as she comes from Reuels at midnight , looke out of her Coach , as 't is running , and loose such a Iewell , and wee finde it ? Ha ?

Syn.

They are prettie waking dreames ; these .

Gyr.

Or may not some olde Vsurer bee drunke ouer-night , with a Bagge of money , and leaue it behinde him on a Stall ? for God-sake , Syn , let 's rise to morrow by breake of day , and see . I protest law , If I had as much money as an Alderman , I would seatter some on 't , i' th' streetes for poore Ladyes to finde , when their Knights were layd vp . And , nowe I remember my Song o' the Golden showre , why may not I haue such a fortune ?

I le sing it , and try what luck I shall haue after it .

Fond Fables tell of olde , How loue in Danaes lappe Fell in a showre of Gold , By which shee caught a clappe ; O , had it beene my hap , ( How ere the blow doth threaten ) So well I like the play , That I could wish all day And night to be so beaten . Enter Mistris Touchstone .

O , heer 's my Mother ! good lucke , I hope . Ha' you brought any money , Mother ? Pray you Mother , your Blessing . Nay , sweet Mother , doe not weepe .

Mistris Touch.

God blesse you ; I would I were in my Graue .

Gyr.

Nay , deare Mother , can you steale no more money from my father ? dry your eyes , & comfort me . Alas , it is my Knights fault , and not mine , that I am in a Wast-coate , and attyred thus simply .

Mistris Touch.

Simply ? T is better then thou deseru'st . Neuer whimper for the matter . Thou shouldst haue look'd , before thou hadst leap't . Thou wert a fire to be a Lady , and now your Ladishippe and you may both blowe at the Cole , for ought I know . Selfe doe , selfe haue . The hastie person neuer wants woe , they say .

Gyr.

Nay then Mother , you should ha look'd to it ; A bodie would thinke you were the older : I did but my kinde , l. He was a Knight , and I was fit to be a Lady . T is not lacke of liking , but lacke of liuing , that seuers vs . And you talke like your selfe and a Cittiner in this , yfaith . You shew what Husband you come on Iwys . You smell the Touch-stone . He that will doe more for his daughter , that he has marryed a sciruie Gold-end man , and his Prentise , then he will for his t'other Daughter , that has wedded a Knight , and his Customer . By this light , I thinke hee is not my legittimate Father .

Syn.

O good Madam , doe not take vp your mother so .

Mistris . Touch.

Nay , nay , let her cene alone . Let her Ladishippe grieue me still , with her bitter taunts and termes . I haue not dole inough to see her in this miserable case , l ? without her Veluet gownes , without Ribbands , without Iewels , without French-wires , or Cheat bread , or Quailes , or a little Dog , or a Genttleman Vsher , or any thing indeed , that 's fit for a Lady . �

Syn.

Except her tongue .

Mistris Touch.

And I not able to releiue her neither , being kept so short , by my husband . Well , God knowes my heart . I did little thinke , that euer shee should haue had need of her sister Golding .

Gyr.

Why Mother , I ha not yet . Alas , good Mother , bee not intoxicate for mee , I am well inough . I would not change husbands with my Sister , I . The legge of a Larke is better then the body of a Kight .

Mistris Touch.

I know that . But �

Gyr.

What sweete Mother , What ?

Mistris Touchstone .

It 's but ill food , when nothing's left but the Claw .

Gyr.

That 's true Mother ; Aye me .

Mistris Touchstone .

Nay , sweete Lady-bird , sigh not . Child , Madame . Why doe you weepe thus ? Bee of good cheere . I shall die , if you crye , and marre your complexion , thus ?

Gyr.

Alas Mother , what should I doe ,

Mistris Touch.

Goe to thy Sister's Childe , Shee 'le be proude , thy Lady-ship will come vnder her roofe . Shee 'le winne thy Father to release thy Knight , and redeeme thy Gownes , and thy Coach , and thy Horses , and set thee vp againe .

Gyr.

But will shee get him to set my Knight vp , too ?

Mistris Touchstone .

That shee will , or any thing else thou'lt aske her .

Gyr.

I will begin to loue her , if I thought she would doe this .

Mistris . Touch.

Try her good Chucke , I warrant thee .

Gyr.

Doost thou thinke shee 'le doo 't ?

Syn.

I Madame , and be glad you will receiue it .

Mistris . Touch.

That 's a good Mayden , shee tells you trew . Come , I le take order for your debts i the Ale-house .

Gyr.

Goe , Syn , and pray for thy Franck , as I will , for my Pet .

Enter Touchstone , Goulding , Woolfe . Touch.

I will receiue no Letters , M Woolf , you shal pardon me .

Gould .

Good Father let me entreat you .

Touch.

Sonne Goulding , I will not be tempted , I finde mine owne easie nature , and I know not what a well-pend subtile Letter may worke vpon it : There may be Tricks , Packing , doe you see ? Returne with your Packet , Sir .

Woolfe .

Beleeue it Sir , you need feare no packing here . These are but Letters of Submission , all .

Touch.

Sir , I doe looke for no Submission . I will beare my selfe in this like Blinde Iustice , Worke vpon that now . When the Sessions come , they shall heare from me .

Gould .

From whom come your Letters , M. Woolfe ?

Woolfe .

And 't please you Sir . One from Sir Petronell . Another from Francis Quickesiluer . And a third , from old Securitie , who is almost madde in Prison . There are two , to your worship : One from M. Francis , Sir . Another from the Knight .

Touch.

I doe wonder , M. Woolfe , why you should trauaile thus , in a businesse so contrarie to kinde , or the nature o' your Place ! that you beeing the Keeper of a Prison , should labour the release of your Prisoners ! Whereas mee thinkes , it were farre more Naturall , & Kindely in you , to be ranging about for more , & not let these scape you haue alreadie vnder the Tooth . But they say , you Wolues , when you ha' suck't the blood once , that they are drie , you ha' done .

Woolfe .

Sir , your Worship may descant as you please o' my name , but I protest , I was neuer so mortified with any mens discourse , or behauiour in Prison ; yet I haue had of all sorts of men i' the Kingdome , vnder my Keyes , & almost of all Religions i' the land , as Papist , Protestant , Puritane , Brownist , Anabaptist , Millenary , Family o' Loue , Iewe , Turke , Infidell , Atheist , Good Fellow , &c.

Gould .

And which of all these ( thinkes M. Woolfe ) was the best Religion ?

Woolfe .

Troth , M. Deputie , they that pay Fees best : we neuer examine their consciences farder .

Gould .

I beleeue you M. Woolfe . Good faith , Sir , Here 's a great deale of humilitie i'these Letters .

Woolfe .

Humilitie , Sir ? I , were your Worshippe an Eye-witnesse of it , you would say so . The Knight will i' the Knights-Ward , doe what wee can Sir , and Maister Quickesiluer , would be i' the Hole , if we would let him . I neuer knew , or saw Prisoners more penitent , or more deuout . They will sit you vp all night singing of Psalmes , and aedifying the whole Prison onely , Securitie sings a note to high , sometimes , because he lyes i' the Two-penny ward . farre of , and can not take his tune . The Neighbours can not rest for him , but come euery Morning to aske , what godly Prisoners we haue .

Touch.

Which on 'hem is 't is so deuout , the Knight , or the to'ther ?

Woolfe .

Both Sir . But the young Man especially ! I neuer heard his like ! He has cut his hayre too . He is so well giuen , and has such good gifts ! Hee can tell you , almost all the Stories of the Booke of Martyrs , and speake you all the Sicke-mans Salue without Booke .

Touch

I , if he had had grace , he was brought vp where it grew , I wis . On Maister Wolfe .

Wolfe .

And he has conuerted one Fangs a Sarieant , a fellow could neither write , nor read , he was call'd the Bandog o' the Counter : and he has brought him already to pare his nailes , and say his prayers , and 't is hop'd , he will sell his place shortly , and become an Intelligencer .

Touch.

No more , I am comming all ready . If I should giue any farder eare , I were take� . Adue good Maister Wolfe . Sonne , I doe feele mine owne weaknesses , do not importune me . Pity is a Rheume , that I am subiect too , but I will resist it . Maister Wolfe , Fish is cast away , that is cast in drye Pooles : Tell Hipocrisie , it will not do , I haue touchd , and tried too often ; I am yet proofe , and I will remaine so : when the Sessions come , they shall heare from me . In the meane time , to all suites , to all intreaties , to all letters , to all trickes , I will be deafe as an Adder , and blind as a Beetle , lay mine care to the ground , and lock mine eyes i' my hand , against all temptations . Exit .

Gold.

You see , maister Wolfe , how inexorable he is . There is no hope to recouer him Pray you commend me to my brother Knight , and to my fellow Francis , present 'hem with this small token of my loue ; tell 'hem , I wish I could do 'hem any worthier office , but in this , 't is desperate : yet I will not faile to trie the vttermost of my power for 'hem . And sir , as farre as I haue any credit with you pray you let 'hem want nothing : though I am not ambitious , they should know so much .

Wolse.

Sir , both your actions , and words speake you to be a true Gentleman . They shall know onely what is fit , and no more . Exeunt .

Holdfast . Bramble . Security . Hold.

Who would you speake with , Sir ?

Bra�.

I would speake with one Securitie , that is prisoner here .

Hold.

You' are welcome Sir . Stay there I le call him to you . Maister Securitie .

Secu.

Who call's ?

Hold.

Here 's a Gentleman would speake with you .

Secu.

What is he ? Is 't one that grafts my forehead now I am in prison , and comes to see how the Hornes shoote vp , and prosper .

Hold.

You must pardon him Sir : The old man is a little craz'd with his imprisonment .

Secu.

What say you to me , Sir ? Looke you here . My learned Counsaile , M. Bramble ! Crye you mercie , Sir : when sawe you my wife ?

Bram.

Shee is now at my house , Sir , and desir'd mee that I would come to Visite you and inquire of you your Case , that we might worke some meanes to get you foorth .

Secur.

My Case , M. Bramble , is stone walles , and yron grates ; you see it , this is the weakest part on 't . And , for getting me forth , no meanes but hang my selfe , and so to be carryed foorth , from which they haue here bound me , in intollerable bands .

Bram.

Why but what is 't you are in for , Sir ?

Secu.

For my Sinnes , for my Sinnes Sir , whereof Mariage , is the greatest . O , had I neuer marryed , I had neuer knowne this Purgatorie , to which Hell is a kinde of coole Bathe in respect : My wiues confederacie Sir , with olde Touchstone , that shee might keepe her Iubilaee , and the Feast of her New-Moone . Doe you vnderstand me Sir ? Enter Quickesiluer .

Quick.

Good Sir , goe in and talke with him . The Light dos him harme , and his example will bee hurtfull to the weake Prisoneis . Fit , Father Securitie , that you 'le bee still so prophane , will nothing humble you ? Enter two Prisoners , with a Friend .

Friend .

What 's he ?

Pri. 1.

O hee is a rare yong man . Doe you not know him ?

Frien.

Not I . I neuer saw him . I can remember .

Pri. 2.

Why , it is he that was the gallant Prentise of London , M. Touchstones man .

Frien.

Who Quickesiluer ?

Pri. 1.

I , this is hee .

Frien.

Is this hee ? They say , he has beene a Gallant indeede .

Pris.

O , the royall est fellow , that euer was bred vp i' the Citie . He would play you his thousand pound , a night at Dice ; keepe Knights and Lords Companie ; go with them to baudie houses ; had his fixe men in a Liuerie ; kept a stable of Hunting horses ; and his Wench in her veluet Gowne , and her Cloth of siluer . Here 's one Knight with him here in Prison .

Frien.

And how miserably he is chaung'd !

Pris. 1.

O , that 's voluntary in him ; he gaue away all his rich clothes , assoone as euer hee came in here , among the Prisoners : and will eate o' the Basket , for humilitie .

Friend .

Why will he doe so ?

Pris. 2.

Alas hee has no hope of life . Hee mortifies himselfe . He dos but linger on , till the Sessions .

Pris. 2.

O , he has pen'd the best thing , that hee calles his Repentance , or his Last Fare-well , that euer you heard : Hee is a pretie Poet , and for Prose � You would wonder how many Prisoners he has help't out , with penning Petitions for 'hem , and not take a penny . Looke , this is the Knight , in the rugge Gowne . Standby .

Enter Petronel , Bramble , Quickesiluer , Woolfe . Bram.

Sir , for Securities Case , I haue told him ; Say he should be condemned to be carted , or whipt , for a Bawde , or so , why I le lay an Execution on him o'two hundred pound , let him acknowledge a Iudgement , he shal do it in halfe an howre , they shal not all fetch him out , without paying the Execution , o' my word .

Pet.

But can we not be bay'ld M. Bramble ?

Bram.

Hardly , there are none of the Iudges in Towne , else you should remoue your selfe ( in spight of him ) with a Habeas Corpus : But if you haue a Friend to deliuer your tale sensibly to some Iustice o' the Towne , that hee may haue feeling of it , ( doe you see ) you may be bayl'd . For as I vnderstand the Case , t is onely done , In Terrorem , and you shall haue an Action of false Imprisonment against him , when you come out : and perhaps a thousand pound Costes . Enter M. Woolfe .

Quick.

How now , M , Woolfe ? What newes ? what returne ?

Woolfe .

Faith , bad all : yonder will bee no Letters receiued . He sayes the Sessions shall determine it . Onely , M. Deputie Golding commends him to you , and with this token , wishes he could doe you other good .

Quick.

I thanke him . Good M. Bramble , trouble our quiet no more ; doe not molest vs in Prison thus , with your winding deuises : Pray you depart . For my pat , I my cause to him that can succour mee , let God worke his will . M. Woolfe , I pray you let this be distributed , among the Prisoners , and desire 'hem to pray for vs .

Woolfe .

It shall bee done , M. Francis .

Pris. 1.

An excellent temper !

Pris. 2.

Nowe God send him good-lucke . Exeunt .

Pet.

But what said my Father in Lawe , M. Woolfe ?

Enter Hold . Hold.

Here 's one would speake with you , Sir .

Woolfe .

I le tell you anon Sir Petronell . who is 't ?

Hold.

A Gentleman , Sir , that will not be seene . Enter Gold .

Woolfe .

Where is he ? M. Deputie ! your wor: is wel-come . �

Gold.

Peace !

Woolfe .

Away , Srah .

Gold.

Good faith , M. Woolfe , the estate of these Gentlemen , for whome you were so late and willing a Sutor , doth much affect mee : and because I am desirous to doe them some faire office , and find there is no meanes to make my Father relent , so likely , as to bring him to be a Spectator of their Miseries ; I haue ventur'd on a deuice , which is , to make make my selfe your Prisoner : entreating , you will presently goe report it to my Father , and ( fayning , an Action , at sute of some third person ) pray him by this Token , that he will presently , and with all secrecie , come hether for my Bayle ; which trayne , ( if any ) I know will bring him abroad ; and then , hauing him here , I doubt not but we shall be all fortunate , in the Euent .

Woolf.

Sir , I wil put on my best speede , to effect it . Please you come in .

Gold.

Yes ; And let me rest conceal'd , I pray you .

VVoolfe .

See , here a Benefit , truely done ; when it is done timely , freely , and to no Ambition . Exit .

Enter Touchstone , VVife , Daughters , Syn , VVinyfred . Touch-stone .

I will sayle by you , and not heare you , like the wise Vlisses .

Mild.

Deare Father .

Mistris Touch.

Husband .

Gyr.

Father .

VVin. & Syn.

M. Touchstone .

Touc.

away syrens , I will inmure my selfe , against your cryes ; and locke my selfe vpto our Lamentations .

Mistris Touch.

Gentle Husband , heare me .

Gyr.

Father , It is I Father ; my Lady Flash : my sister and I am Friends .

Mil.

Good Father .

VVyn.

Be not hardned , good M. Touchstone .

Syn.

I pray you , Sir , be mercifull .

Touch.

I am dease , I doe not heare you ; I haue stopt mine eares , with Shoomakers waxe , and drunke Lethe , and Mandragora to forget you : All you speake to mee , I commit to the Ayre . Enter VVoolfe .

Mil.

How now , M. VVoolfe ?

VVoolfe .

Where 's M. Touchstone ? I must speake with him presently : I haue lost my breath for hast .

Mild.

What 's the matter Sir ? pray all be well .

Wolfe .

Maister Deputy Goulding is arrested vpon an execution , and desires him presently to come to him , forthwith .

Mild.

Aye me ; doe you heare Father ?

Touch.

Tricks , tricks , confederacie , tricks , I haue 'hem in my nose , I sent 'hem .

Wol.

Who 's that ? maister Touchstone ?

Mi. Tou.

Why it is M. Wolfe himselfe , husband .

Mil.

Father .

Touch.

I am dease still , I say : I will neither yeeld to the song of the Syren , nor the voice of the Hyena , the teares of the Crocodile , nor the howling o' the Wolfe : auoid my habitatio mo�sters ,

Wolfe .

Why you are not mad Sir ? I pray you looke forth , and see the token I haue brought you , Sir .

Touch.

Ha! what token is it ?

Wolf.

Do you know it Sir ?

Tou.

My sonne Gouldings ring ! Are you in earnest Mai Wolfe ?

Wolf.

I by my faith sir . He is in prison , and requir'd me to vse all speed , and secrecie to you .

Touch.

My Cloake there ( pray you be patient ) I am plagu'd for my Austeritie ; my Cloake : at whose suite maister Wolfe ?

Wolfe .

I le tell you as we goe sir . Exeunt .

Enter Friend . Prisoners . Frie.

Why , but is his offence such as he cannot hope of life ?

Pri. 1.

Troth it should seeme so : and 't is great pity ; for he is exceeding penitent .

Fri.

They say he is charg'd but on suspicion of Felony , yet .

Pri. 2.

I but his maister is a shrewd fellow , Hee le proue great matter against him .

Fri.

I 'de as liue as any thing , I could see his Farewell .

Pri. 1.

O t is rarely written : why Tobis may get him to sing it to you , hee 's not curious to any body .

Pri. 1.

O no . He would that all the world should take knowledge of his Repentance , and thinkes he merits in 't , the more shame he suffers .

Pri. 1.

Pray thee try , what thou canst doe .

Pri. 2.

I warrant you , he will not deny it ; if he be not hoarce with the often repeating of it . Exit .

Pri. 1.

You neuer saw a more courteous creature , then he is ; and the Knight too : the poorest Prisoner of the house may command 'hem . You shall heare a thing , admirably pend .

Fri.

Is the Knight any , Scholler too ?

Pris. 1.

No , but he will speake verie well , and discourse admirably of running Horses , and White-Friers , and against Baudes ; and of Cocks ; and talke as loude as a Hunter , but is none .

Enter Wolfe and Touchstone . Wolf.

Please you stay here sir , I le cal his worship downe to you .

Pris. 1.

See , he has brought him , and the Knight too . Salute him I pray , Sir , this Gentleman , vpon our report , is very desirous to heare some piece of your Repentance . Enter Quick . Pet. &c.

Quic.

Sir , with all my heart , & as I told M. Tobie , I shall be glad to haue any man a witnesse of it . And the more openly I prosesse it , I hope it will appeare the hartier and the more vnfained .

Touch.

Who is this ? my man Francis ? and my sonne in Lawe ?

Quick.

Sir , it is all the Testmonie I shall leaue behind me to the World , and my Master , that I haue so offended .

Friend .

Good Sir

Qui.

I writ it , whe� my spirits were opprest .

Pet.

I , I le be sworne for you Francis .

Quick.

It is in imitation of Maningtons ; he that was hangd at Cambridge , that cut of the Horses head at a blow .

Frie.

So sir .

Quick.

To the tune of I waile in woe , I plunge in paine .

Pet.

An excellent Ditty it is , and worthy of a new tune .

Qui. In Cheapside famous for Gold & Plate , Quicksiluer I did dwel of late : I had a Master good , and kind , That vvould haue vvrought me to his mind . He bad me still , VVorke vpon that , But alas I vvrought I knevv not vvhat . He vvas a Touchstone black , but true : And told me still , vvhat vvould ensue , Yet , vvoe is me , I vvould not learne , I savv , alas , but could not discerne . Frien.

Excellent , excellent well .

Gould .

O let him alone , Hee is taken already .

Quic. I cast my Coat , and Cap avvay , I vvent in silkci , and saitens gay , False Mettall of good manners , I Did dayly coint valavvsully . I scornd my Master , being drunke . I kept my Golding , and my Punke , And vvith a knight , sir Flash , by name , ( VVho novv is sory for the same ) Pet.

I thanke you Francis .

I thought by sea to runne , But Thames , and Tempest did me stay .

Touch.

This cannot be fained sure . Heauen pardon my seucrity . The Ragged Colt , may prooue a good Horse .

Gould .

How he listens ! and is transported ? He has forgot me .

Quic. Still Eastward hoe vvas all my word : But VVestward I had no regard . Nor neuer thought , vvhat vvould coine after As did alas his youngest Daughter , At last the black Oxe trode o' my foote , And I savv then vvhat longd vntoo 't , Novv try I , Touchstone , touch me stil , And make me currant by thy skill . Touch.

And I will do it , Francis .

Wolfe .

Stay him M. Deputie , now is the time , we shall loose the song else .

Frie.

I protest it is the best that euer I heard .

Quick.

How like you it Gentlemen ?

All .

O admirable , sir !

Quic.

This Stanze now following , alludes to the story of Mannington from whence I tooke my proiect for my inuention .

Frin.

Pray you goe on sir .

Quic. O Manington thy stories shevv , Thou cutst a Horse-head off at a blovv But I confesse , I haue not the force For to cut off the head of a horse , Yet I desire this grace to vvinne , That I may cut off the Horse-head of Sin . And leaue his body in the dust Of sinnes high vvay and bogges of Lust , VVherby I may take Vertues purse , And liue vvith her for better , for vvorse . Frin.

Admirable sir , & excellently conceited .

Quic.

Alas sir .

Touch.

Sonne Goulding & M. Wolfe , I thank you : the deceipt is welcome , especially from thee whose charitable soule in this hath shewne a high point of wisedome and honesty . Listen . I am rauished with his Repentance , and could stand here a whole prentiship to heare him ,

Frien.

Forth good sir .

Quick.

This is the last , and the Farewell .

Farevvel Cheapside , farewell svveet trade Of Goldsmithes all , that neuer shall fade Farevvell deare fellovv Prentises all And be you vvarned by my sall : Shun Vsurers , Bauds , and dice , and drabs . Auoide them as you vvould French scabs Seeke not to goe beyond your Tether , But cut your Thongs vnto your Lether So shall you thriue by little and little , Scape Tiborne , Cou�ters , & the Spitle
Touch.

And scape them shalt thou my penitent , & deare Frances .

Quick.

Master !

Pet.

Father !

Touch.

I can no longer forbeare to doe your humility right : Arise , and let me honour your Repentance , with the hearty and ioyfull embraces , of a Father , and Friends loue . Quicksiluer , thou hast eate into my breast , Quicksiluer , with the dropps of thy sorrow , and kild the desperate opinion I had of thy reclaime :

Quick.

O sir , I am not worthy to see your worshipfull face .

Pet.

Forgiue me Father .

Touch.

Speake no more , all former passages , are forgotten , and here my word shall release you . Thanke this worthy Brother & kind friend , Francis . � M. Wolfe . I am their Bayle ;

A shoute in the Prison . Secu.

Maister Touchstone ? Maister Touchstone ?

Touch.

Who 's that ?

Wolfe .

Securitie , Sir .

Secu.

Pray you Sir , if you le be wonne with a Song , heare my lamentable tune , too :

SONG . O Maister Touchstone , My heart is full of vvoe ; Alasse , I am a Cuckold : And , vvhy should it be so ? Because I vvas a Usurer , And Bavvd , as all you knovv , For vvhich , againe I tell you , My heart is full of vvot .
Touch.

Bring him forth , Maister Wolfe , and release his bands . This day shal be sacred to Mercy , & the mirth of this Encounter , in the Counter . � See , we are encountred with more Suters .

Enter Mist. Touchst. Gyr. Mil. Synd. Winnif . &c.

Saue your Breath , saue your Breath ; All things haue succeeded to your wishes : & we are heartely satisfied in their euents .

Gyr.

Ah Runaway , Runaway ! haue I caught you ? And , how has my poore Knight done all this while ?

Pet.

Deare Lady-wife ; forgiue me .

Gert.

As heartely , as I would be forgiuen , Knight . Deare Father , giue me your blessing , and forgiue me too ; I ha' bene proud , and lasciuious , Father ; and a Foole , Father ; and being raisd to the state of a wanton coy thing , calld a Lady , Father ; haue scorn'd you , Father ; and my Sister ; & my Sisters Veluet Cap , too ; and would make a mouth at the Citty , as I ridde through it ; and stop mine eares at Bow-bell : I haue said your Beard was a Base one , Father ; and that you look'd like Twierpipe , the Taberer ; and that my Mother was but my Midwife .

Mi. Tou.

Now God forgi' you , Child Madame .

Touch.

No more Repetitions . What is else wanting , to make our Harmony full ?

Gould

Only this , sir . That my fellow Francis make amends to mistresse Sindefie , with mariage .

Quic.

With all my heart .

Gould .

And Security giue her a dower , which shall be all the

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Ilend true : They call me coozen Franke , right ; I lend them monnies , good ; they spend it wiit pedegree , Gods my life . Sirrah Goulding , wilt be ruled by a foole ? turne good fellow Eous beames of lusty Sol appeare , " And bright Eovs makes the welkin cleare . We are both Gentlemen a�t dropping nose , vnder a wodden pent-house , and art a gentleman ? wilt thou beare Tankards , G ulding Ha Gulding ? I commend thee , I approoue thee , and wise appeare my affection is strong to thee . My wife has her humour , and I will ha , mine . mis�baunce onely worke to watch her , nor sufficient mischaunce , to suspect her . Thou art towardly , shee veriue care and loue hapinesse of life : let your vertue still direct it , for to your wisedome I l�st Which thriues the best , the meane or loftie loue . Whether fit morrallsence expence . When seeming lightnesse beares a morall sense . pickell Pickle ? pickle in thy throate ; zounes pickle ? wa ha ho , good morow knight Petronell ferters Am I free a , my fetters ? Rense ; Flye with a Duck in thy mouth soorth forth my brauerie . Now let my Truncks shoote foor their silkes concealde , I now am free ; mor rallitie A pox on you , who taught you this morrallitie ? sether earnest , if you can get your wise Lady to set her hand to the sale of her Inheritance hexr his new coate , the� she longs to ride in her new Coache : She would long for euery thing desne honest humours forsooth , for she had a great desire to be a Nun , an't please you . by ' rladie I by'r ladie Madam , a little thing does that ; rladie I by'r ladie Madam , a little thing does that ; I haue how thy castle afore thou com'st : But I marle howe my modest Sister occupies her selfe this emy castle afore thou com'st : But I marle howe my modest Sister occupies her selfe this morning blesle your daughter , my hope is , heauen will so blese our humble beginning , that in the end I grieftis in thy lookes in Capitall Letters . What a grief 'tis to depart , and leaue the slower that cother one halfe with your Lady , and keepe the tother your selfe : or else doe as all true Louers reachevs now bee gone before , where they can not reache vs . sigentmemorie Cap : slight God forgiue mee , what kind of figent memory haue you ? Imary I may Gossip thats our present care . Seaguli This , Captaine Seagull ; wee'll haue our prouided Supper brought espepecially a proper taking indeed to take a Boate , especially at this time of night , and against Tide Iowe Home , that has knowne me thus abrode ? how I owe shall I crouch away , that no eye may vousscaues Oui Monsieur , il est trop vraye ; mais vovs scaves bien nous somes toutes subiect a fortune thensigne huntsman ; Farewell thou Horne of Destinie , the signe of the married man ; Farewell thou asore for a Grauesend Tost : There's that gone afore , wil stay your Admiral and Ʋice-admirall co���� no doubt a good voyage . Nay pray you be couer'd Sir . How did your Bisquet hold out Sir Beling sgate fortune by sea , tooke in fresh flesh at Belingsgate , for his owne diet , to serue him the whole butrecuidance and God doth often punish such pride , and outrecuidance , with scorne and infamy , which is the keeepe him foole , saies another , he could not keepe it when he had it ; A pox o'the Cullio� li� summe . I would lend it ( let me see ) for 40 li. in hand , Syn , that would apparrell vs loook'd Nay then Mother , you should ha look'd to it ; A bodie would thinke you were the Paritane Religions i'the land , as Papist , Protestant , Puritane , Brownist , Anabaptist , Millenary , Family Fam�ly Paritane , Brownist , Anabaptist , Millenary , Family o' Loue , Iewe , Turke , Infidell , Atheist o'Loue Brownist , Anabaptist , Millenary , Family o' Loue , Iewe , Turke , Infidell , Atheist Priso� singing of Psalmes , and aedifying the whole Prison onely , Securitie sings a note to high , Excunt Exeunt . wor Where is he ? M. Deputie ! your wor: is wel-come . � sayning presently goe report it to my Father , and ( fayning , an Action , at sute of some third person withall Sir , with all my heart , & as I told M. Tobie , I shall vnsained it will appeare the hartier and the more vnfained . aster . Nor neuer thought , vvhat vvould coine after As did alas his youngest Daughter , At last sinneshigh of Sin . And leaue his body in the dust Of sinnes high vvay and bogges of Lust , VVherby I sarevvel Farevvel Cheapside , farewell svveet trade Of Goldsmithes all , that neuer Fatherl Father! ! shable Wolfe , and release his bands . This day shalbe sacred to Mercy , & the mirth of this Encounter forgi'you Now God forgi' you , Child Madame . do And Security giue her a dower wer , which shall be all the