Euery man in his humor As it hath beene sundry times publickly acted by the right Honorable the Lord Chamberlaine his seruants. Written by Ben. Iohnson. Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637. 1601 Approx. 191 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 45 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A04647 STC 14766 ESTC S109361 99845011 99845011 9881 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A04647) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 9881) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 425:02) Euery man in his humor As it hath beene sundry times publickly acted by the right Honorable the Lord Chamberlaine his seruants. Written by Ben. Iohnson. Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637. [88] p. [By S. Stafford] for Walter Burre, and are to be sould at his shoppe in Paules Church-yarde, Imprinted at London : 1601. Partly in verse. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: [A]² B-L⁴ M² . Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Rina Kor Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Aptara Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-01 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion EVERY MAN IN his Humor . As it hath beene sundry times publickly acted by the right Honorable the Lord Chamberlaine his seruants . Written by BEN. IOHNSON . Quod non dant proceres , dabit Histrio . Hand tamen inuidias vati , quem pulpita pascunt . Imprinted at London for Walter Burre , and are to be sould at his shoppe in Paules Church-yarde . 1601. The number and names of the Actors . Lorenzo senior . Prospero . Thorello . Stephano . Doctor Clement . Bobadilla . Musco . Cob. Giulliano . Lorenzo iunior . Biancha . Hesperida . Peto . Matheo . Pizo. Tib. EVERY MAN in his Humor . ACTVS PRIMVS , SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo di Pazzi Senior , Musco . NOw trust me , here 's a goodly day toward . Musco , call vp my sonne Lorenzo : bid him rise : tell him , I haue some businesse to imploy him in . Mus. I will , sir , presently . Lore . se. But heare you , sirrah ; If he be at study , disturbe him not . Mus. Very good , sir. Exit Musco . Lore . se. How happy would I estimate my selfe , Could I ( by any meane ) retyre my sonne , From one vayne course of study he affects ? He is a scholler ( if a man may trust The lib'rall voyce of double-toung'd report ) Of deare account , in all our Academies . Yet this position must not breede in me A fast opinion , that he cannot erre . My selfe was once a student , and indeede Fed with the selfe-same humor he is now , Dreaming on nought but idle Poetrie : But since , Experience hath awakt my sprit's , Enter Stephano . And reason taught them , how to comprehend The soueraigne vse of study . What , cousin Stephano ? What newes with you , that you are here so earely ? Steph. Nothing : but ●ene come to see how you doe , vncle . Lore . se. That 's kindly done , you are welcome , cousin . Steph. I , I know that sir , I would not haue come else : how doeth my cousin , vncle ? Lore . se. Oh well , well , goe in and see ; I doubt hee 's scarce stirring yet . Steph. Vncle , afore I goe in , can you tell me , and he haue ●'re a booke of the sciences of hawking and hun●ing ? I would fayne borrow it . Lor. Why I hope you will not a hawking now , will you ? Step. No wusse ; but I le practise against next yeare : I haue bought me a hawke , and bels and all ; I lacke nothing but a booke to keepe it by . Lor. Oh most ridiculous . Step. Nay looke you now , you are angrie vncle , why you know , and a man haue not skill in hawking and hunting now a daies , I le not giue a rush for him ; hee is for no gentlemans company , and ( by Gods will ) I scorne it I , so I doe , to bee a consort for euerie hum-drum ; hang them scroiles , ther 's nothing in them in the world , what doe you talke on it ? a gentleman must shew himselfe like a gentleman , vncle I pray you be not angrie , I know what I haue to do I trow , I am no nouice . Lor. Go to , you are a prodigal , and selfe-wild foole , Nay neuer looke at me , it 's I that speake , Take 't as you will , I le not flatter you . What ? haue you not meanes inow to wast That which your friends haue left you , but you must Go cast away your money on a Buzzard , And know not how to keepe it when you haue done ? Oh it 's braue , this will make you a gentleman , Well Cosen well , I see you are e'ene past hope Of all reclaime ; I so , now you are told on it , you looke another way . Step. What would you haue me do trow ? Lor. What would I haue you do ? mary Learne to be wise , and practise how to thriue , That I would haue you do , and not to spend Your crownes on euerie one that humors you : I would not haue you to intrude your selfe In euerie gentlemans societie , Till their affections or your owne desert , Do worthily inuite you to the place . For he that 's so respectlesse in his course , Oft sels his reputation vile and cheape . Let not your cariage , and behauiour taste Of affectation , lest while you pretend To make a blaze of gentrie to the world A little puffe of scorne extinguish it , And you be left like an vnsauorie snuffe , Whose propertie is onely to offend . Cosen , lay by such superficiall formes , And entertaine a perfect reall substance , Stand not so much on your gentility , Enter a ser●ingman . But moderate your expences ( now at first ) As you may keepe the same proportion still . Beare a low saile : soft who 's this comes here . Ser. Gentlemen , God saue you . Step. Welcome good friend , we doe not stand much vpon our gentilitie ; yet I can assure you mine vncle is a man of a thousand pounde land a yeare ; hee hath but one sonne in the world ; I am his next heire , as simple as I stand here , if my cosen die : I haue a faire liuing of mine owne too beside . Ser. In good time sir. Step. In good time sir ? you do not flout , do you ? Ser. Not I sir. Step. And you should , here be them can perceiue it , and that quickly too : Go too , and they can giue it againe soundly , and need be . Ser. Why sir let this satisfie you . Good faith I had no such intent . Step. By God , and I thought you had sir , I would talke with you . Ser. So you may sir , and at your pleasure . Step. And so I would sir , and you were out of mine vncle● ground , I can tell you . Lor. Why how now cosen , will this nere be left ? Step. Horson base fellow , by Gods lid , and 't were not for shame , I would . Lor. se. What would you do ? you peremptorie Asse , And yow le not be quiet , get you hence . You see , the gentleman contaynes himselfe In modest limits , giuing no reply To your vnseason'd rude comparatiues ; Yet yow le demeane your selfe , without respect Eyther of duty , or humanity . Goe get you in : fore God I am asham'd Exit Steph. Thou hast a kinsmans interest in me . Ser. I pray you , sir , is this Pazzi house ? Lor. se. Yes mary is it , sir. Ser. I should enquire for a gentleman here , one Signior Lorenzo di Pazzi ; doe you know any such , sir , I pray you ? Lore se. Yes , sir : or else I should forget my selfe ▪ Ser. I crye you mercy , sir , I was requested by a gentleman of Florence ( hauing some occasion to ride this way ) to deliuer you this letter . Lor. se. To me , sir ? What doe you mean● ? I pray you remember your curt'sy . To his deare and most elected friend , Signior Lorenzo di Pazzi . What might the gentlemans name be , sir , that sent it ? Nay , pray you be couer'd . Ser. Signior Prospero . Lore . se Signior Prospero ? A young gentleman of the family of Strozzi , is he not ? Ser. I , sir , the same : Signior Thorello , the rich Florentine merchant married his sister . Enter Musco . Lore . se. You say very true . Musco . Mus. Sir. Lore . se. Make this Gentleman drinke , here . I pray you goe in , sir , and 't please you . Exeunt . Now ( without doubt ) this letter 's to my sonne . Well : all is one : I le be so bold as reade it , Be it but for the styles sake , and the phrase ; Both which ( I doe presume ) are excellent , And greatly varied from the vulgar forme , If Prospero's inuention gaue them life . How now ? what stuffe is here ? Sirha Lorenzo , I muse we cannot see thee at Florence : S'blood , I doubt , Apollo hath got thee to be his Ingle , that thou commest not abroad , to v●s●t thine old friends : well , take heede of him ; hee may doe somewhat for his houshold seruants , or so ; But for his Retayners , I am sure , I haue knowne some of them , that haue followed him , three , foure , fiue yeere together , scorning the world with their bare heeles , & at length bene g●ad for a shift , ( though no cleane shift ) to lye a whole winter , in halfe a sheete , cursing Charles wayne , and the rest ●f the starres intolerably . But ( quis contra diuos ? ) well ; Sirha , sweete villayne , come and see me ; but spend one minute in my compa●y , and 't is inough : I thinke I haue a world of good le●ts for thee ▪ oh sirha , I can shew thee two of the most perfect , rare , & absolute true Gulls , that euer thou saw'st , if thou wil● come . S'blood , inuent some famous ●●morable lye , or other , to flap thy father in the mouth withall : thou hast bene father of a thousand , in thy dayes , 〈◊〉 could'st be no Poet else : any sciruy roguish excuse will serue ; say thou com●st but to fetch wooll for thine Inke-borne . And then too , thy Father will say thy wits are a wooll-gathering . But it 's no matter ; the worse , the better . Any thing is good inough for the old man. Sirha , how 〈◊〉 thy Father should see this now ? what would he think● of me ? Well , ( howeuer I write to thee ) ● reuerence him in my soule , for the generall good all Florence deliuers of him . Lorenzo , I coniure thee ( by what , let me see ) by the depth of our loue , by all the strange sights we haue seene in our dayes , ( I or nights eyther ) to come to me to Florence this day . Go to , you shall come , and let your Muses goe spinne for once . If thou wilt not , s'hart , what 's your gods name ? Apollo ? I ; Apollo If this melancholy rogue ( Lorenzo here ) doe not come , graunt , that he doe turne Foole presently , and neuer hereafter , be able to make a good Iest , or a blanke verse , but liue in more penurie of wit and Inuention , then eyther the Hall-Beadle , or Poet Nuntius . Well , ●t is the strangest letter that euer I read . Is this the man , my sonne ( so oft ) hath prays'd To be the happiest , and most pretious wit That euer was familiar with Art ? Now ( by our Ladies blessed sonne ) I sweare , I rather thinke him most infortunate , In the possession of such holy giftes , Being the master of so loose a spirit . Why what vnhallowed ruffian would haue writ , With so prophane a pen , vnto his friend ? The modest paper eene lookes pale for griefe To feele her virgin-cheeke defilde and staind With such a blacke and criminall inscription . Well , I had thought my son could not haue straied , So farre from iudgement , as to mart himselfe Thus cheapely , ( in the open trade of scorne ) To geering follie , and fantastique 〈◊〉 But now I see opinion is a foole , And hath abusde my sences . Musco . Enter Musco . Mus. Sir. Lor. se. What is the fellow gone that brought this letter ? Mus. Yes sir , a prettie while since . Lor. se. And wher 's Lorenz● ? Mus. In his chamber sir. Lor. se. He spake not with the fellow , did he ? Mus. No sir , he saw him not . Lor. se. Then Musco take this letter , and deliuer it vnto Lorenzo : but sirra , ( on your life ) take you no knowledge I haue open'd it . Mus. O Lord sir , that were a iest in deed . Exit Mus. Lor. se. I am resolu'd I will not crosse his iourney . Nor will I practise any violent meane , To stay the hot and lustie course of youth . For youth restraind straight growes impatient , And ( in condition ) like an eager dogge , Who ( ne're so little from his game withheld ) Turnes head and leapes vp at his masters throat . Therefore I le studie ( by some milder drift ) To call my sonne vnto a happier shrift . Exit . SCENA SECVNDA . Enter Lorenzo iunior , with Musco . Mus. Yes sir , ( on my word ) he opend it , & read the contents ▪ Lor. iu. It scarse contents me that he did so . But Musco didst thou obserue his countenance in the reading of it , whether hee were angrie or pleasde ? Mus. Why sir I saw him not reade it . Le. iu. No ? how knowest thou then that he opend it ? Mus. Marry sir because he charg'd mee ( on my life ) to tell no body that he opend it , which ( vnlesse he had done ) he wold neuer feare to haue it reueald . Lo. iu. That 's true : well Musco hie thee in againe , Least thy protracted absence do lend light , Enter Stephan . To darke suspition : Musco be assurde I le not forget this thy respectiue loue . Step. Oh Musco , didst thou not see a fellow here in a whatsha-callum doublet ; he brought mine vncle a letter euen now ? Mus. Yes sir , what of him ? Step. Where is he , canst thou tell ? Mus. Why he is gone . Step. Gone ? which way ? when went he ? how long since ? Mus. It s almost halfe an houre ago since he rid hence . Step. Horson Scanderbag rogue , oh that I had a horse ; by Gods lidde I 'de fetch him backe againe , with heaue and ho. Mus. Why you may haue my masters bay gelding , and you will. Step. But I haue no boots , that 's the spite on it . Mus. Then it s no boot to follow him . Let him go and hang sir. Step. I by my troth ; Musco , I pray thee help to trusse me a li●tle ; nothing angers mee , but I haue waited such a while for him all vnlac'd and vntrust yonder , and now to see hee is gone the other way . Mus. Nay I pray you stand still sir. Step. I will , I will : oh how it vexes me . Mus. Tut , neuer vexe your selfe with the thought of such a ba●e fellow as he . Step. Nay to see , he stood vpon poynts with me too . Mus. Like inough so ; that was , because he saw you had so fewe at your hose . Step. What ? Hast thou done ? God a mercy , good Musco . Mus. I marle , sir , you weare such ill-fauourd course stockings , hauing so good a legge as you haue . Step. Fo , the stockings be good inough for this time of the yeere ; but I le haue a payre of silke , e're it be long : I thinke , my legge would shewe well in a silke hose . Mus. I afore God would it rarely well . Step. In sadnesse I thinke it would : I haue a reasonable good legge . Mus. You haue an excellent good legge , sir : I pray you pardon me , I haue a little haste in , sir. Step. A thousand thankes , good Musco . Exit . What , I hope he laughs not at me ; and he doe — Lo. iun. Here is a style indeed , for a mans sences to leape ouer , e're they come at it : why , it is able to breake the shinnes of any old mans patience in the world . My father reade this with patience ? Then will I be made an Eunuch , and learne to sing Ballads . I doe not deny , but my father may haue as much patience as any other man ; for hee vses to take phisicke , and oft taking phisicke , makes a man a very patient creature . But , Signior Prospero , had your swaggering Epistle here , arriued in my fathers hands , at such an houre of his patience , ( I meane , when hee had tane phisicke ) it is to bee doubted , whether I should haue read sweete villaynt here . But , what ? My wise cousin ; Nay then , I le furnish our feast with one Gull more toward a messe ; hee writes to mee of two , and here 's one , that 's three , Ifayth . Oh for a fourth : now , Fortune , or neuer Fortune . Step. Oh , now I see who he laught at : hee laught at some body in that letter . By this good light , and he had laught at me , I would haue told mine vncle . Lo. iun. Cousin Stephano : good morrow , good cousin , how fare you ? Step. The better for your asking , I will assure you . I haue beene all about to seeke you ; since I came I saw mine vncle ; & ifaith how haue you done this great while ? Good Lord , by my troth I am glad you are well cousin . Lor. ●u . And I am as glad of your comming , I protest to you , for I am sent for by a priuate gentleman , my most speciall deare friend , to come to him to Florence this morning , and you shall go with me cousin , if it please you , not els , I will enioyne you no further then stands with your owne consent , and the condition of a friend . Step. Why cousin you shall command me and 't were twise so farre as Florence to do you good ; what doe you thinke I will not go with you ? I protest . Lo. iu. Nay , nay , you shall not protest . Step. By God , but I will sir , by your leaue I le protest more to my friend then I le speake of at this time . Lo. iu. You speake very well sir. Step. Nay not so neither , but I speake to serue my turne . Lo. iu. Your turne ? why cousin , a gentleman of so faire sort as you are , of so true cariage , so speciall good parts ; of so deare and choice estimation ; one whose lowest condition beares the stampe of a great spirit ; nay more , a man so grac'd , guilded , or rather ( to vse a more fit Metaph●r ) tinfoyld by nature , ( not that you haue a leaden constitution , couze , although perhaps a little inclining to that temper , & so the more apt to melt with pittie , when you fall into the fire of rage ) but for your lustre onely , which reflects as bright to the world as an old Ale-wiues pewter againe a good time ; and will you now ( with nice modestie ) hide such reall ornaments as these , and shadow their glorie as a Millaners wife doth her wrought stomacher , with a smoakie lawne or a blacke cipresse ? Come , come , for shame doe not wrong the qualitie of your desert in so poore a kind : but let the Idea of what you are , be portraied in your aspect , that men may reade in your lookes ; Here within this place is to be seene , the most admirable rare & accomplisht worke of nature ; Cousin what think you of this ? Step. Marry I do thinke of it , and I will be more melancholie , and gentlemanlike then I haue beene , I doe ensure you . Lo. iu. Why this is well : now if I can but hold vp this humor in him , as it is begun , Ca●so for Florence , match him & she can ; Come cousin . Step. I le follow you . Le. iu. Follow me ? you must go before . Step. Must I ? nay then I pray you shew me good cousin . Exeunt . SCENA TERTIA. Enter Signior Matheo , to him Cob. Mat. I thinke this be the house : what howgh ? Cob. Who 's there ? oh Signior Matheo . God giue you good morrow sir. Mat. What ? Cob ? how doest thou good Cob ? doest thou inhabite here Cob ? Cob. I sir , I and my lineage haue kept a poore house in our daies . Mat. Thy lineage monsieur Cob ? what lineage , what lineage ? Cob. Why sir , an ancient lineage , and a princely : mine ancetri● came from a kings loynes , no worse man ; and yet no man neither , but Herring the king of fish , one of the monarches of the world I assure you . I doe fetch my pedegree and name from the first redde herring that was eaten in Adam , & Eues kitchin : his Cob was my great , great , mighty great grandfather . Mat. Why mightie ? why mightie ? Cob. Oh it s a mightie while agoe sir , and it was a mightie great Cob. Mat. How knowest thou that ? Cob. How know I ? why his ghost comes to me euery night . Mat. Oh vnsauorie iest : the ghost of a herring Cob. Cob. I , why not the ghost of a herring Cob , as well as the ghost of Rashero Baccono , they were both broild on the coales : you are a scholler , vpsolue me that now . Mat. Oh rude ignorance . Cob canst thou shew me , of a gētleman , one Signior Bobadilla , where his lodging is ? Cob. Oh my guest sir , you meane ? Mat. Thy guest , alas ? ha , ha . Cob. Why do you laugh sir ? do you not meane signior Bobadilla ? Mat. Cob I pray thee aduise thy selfe well : do not wrong the gentleman , and thy selfe too . I dare be sworne hee scornes thy house hee . He lodge in such a base obscure place as thy house ? Tut , I know his disposition so well , he would not lie in thy bed if ●hould'st giue it him . Cob. I will not giue it him . Masse I thought ( somewhat was in it ) we could not get him to bed all night . Well sir , though he lie not on my bed , he lies on my bench , and 't please you to go vp sir , you shall find him with two cushions vnder his head , and his cloake wrapt about him , as though he had neither won nor lost , and yet I warrant hee ne're cast better in his life then hee hath done to night . Mat. Why was he drunke ? Cob. Drunk sir ? you heare not me say so ; perhaps he swallow'd a tauerne token , or some such deuise sir ; I haue nothing to doe withal : I deale with water and not with wine . Giue me my tankard there , ho. God be with you sir , it s sixe a clocke : I should haue caried two turnes by this , what ho ? my stopple come . Mat. Lie in a waterbearers house , a gentleman of his note ? well I le tell him my mind . Exit . Cob. What Tib , shew this gentleman vp to Signior Bobadilla : oh and my house were the Brazen head now , faith it would eene crie moe fooles yet : you should haue some now , would take him to be a gentleman at the least ; alas God helpe the simple , his father 's an honest man , a good fishmonger , and so forth : and now doth he creep and wriggle into acquaintance with all the braue gallants about the towne , such as my guest is , ( oh my guest is a fine man ) and they ●lout him inuinciblie . He vseth euery day to a Marchāts house ( where I serue water ) one M. Thorellos ; and here 's the iest , he is in loue with my masters sister , and cals her mistres : and there he sits a whole afternoone sometimes , reading of these same abhominable , vile , ( a poxe on them , I cannot abide them ) rascally verses , Poetrie , poetrie , and speaking of E●terludes , t' will make a man burst to heare him : and the wenches , they doe so geere and ti●e at him ; well , should they do as much to me , I ld forsweare them all , by the life of Pharoah , there 's an oath : how many waterbearers shall you heare sweare such an oath ? oh I haue a guest ( he teacheth me ) he doth sweare the best of any man christned : By Phoebus , By the life of Pharaoh , By the body of me , As I am gentleman , and a soldier : such daintie oathes ; & withall he doth take this same filthie roaguish Tabacco the finest , and cleanliest ; it wold do a man good to see the fume come forth at his nostrils : well , he owes me fortie shillings ( my wife lent him out of her purse ; by sixpence a time ) besides his lodging ; I would I had it : I shall haue it he saith next Action ▪ Helter skelter , hang sorrow , care will kill a cat , vptailes all , and a poxe on the hangman . Exit . Bobadilla discouers himselfe : on a bench ; to him Tib. Bob. Hostesse , hostesse . Tib. What say you sir ? Bob. A cup of your small beere sweet hostesse . Tib. Sir , ther 's a gentleman below would speake with you . Bob. A gentleman , ( Gods so ) I am not within . Tib. My husband told him you were sir. Bob. What ha plague ? what meant he ? Mat. Signior Bobadilla . Matheo within . Bob. Who 's there ? ( take away the bason good hostesse ) come vp sir. Tib. He would desire you to come vp sir ; you come into a cleanly house here . Mat. God saue you sir , God saue you . Enter Matheo . Bob. Signior Matheo , is 't you sir ? please you sit downe . Mat. I thanke you good Signior , you may see , I am somewhat audacious . Bob. Not so Signior , I was requested to supper yesternight ▪ by a sort of gallants where you were wisht for , and drunke to I assure you . Mat. Vouchsafe me by whom good Signior . Bob. Marrie by Signior Prosper● , and others , why hostesse , a stoole here for this gentleman . Mat. No haste sir , it is very well . Bob. Bodie of me , it was so late ere we parted last night , I can scarse open mine eyes yet ; I was but new risen as you came : how passes the day abroad sir ? you can tell . Mat. Faith some halfe houre to seuen : now trust me you haue an exceeding fine lodging here , very neat , and priuate . Bob. I sir , sit downe I pray you : Signior Matheo ( in any case ) possesse no gentlemen of your acquaintance with notice of my lodging . Mat. Who I sir ? no. Bob. Not that I neede to care who know it , but in regard I would not be so popular and generall , as some be . Mat. True Signior , I conceiue you . Bob. For do you see sir , by the hart of my selfe ( except it be to some peculiar and choice spirits , to whom I am extraordinarily ingag'd , as your selfe , or so ) I would not extend thus farre . Mat. O Lord sir I resolue so . Bob. What new booke haue you there ? what ? Go by Hier●●imo . Mat. I , did you euer see it acted ? is 't not well pend ? Bob. Well pend : I would faine see all the Poets of our time pen such another play as that was ; they I prate and swagger , and keepe a stirre of a●te and deuises , when ( by Gods so ) they are the most shallow pittifull fellowes that liue vpon the face of the earth againe . Mat. Indeede , here are a number of fine speeches in this booke : Oh eyes , no eyes but fountaines fraught with teares ; there 's a conceit : Fountaines fraught with teares . Oh life , no life , but liuely forme of death : is 't not excellent ? Oh world , no world , but masse of publique wrongs ; O Gods mee : confusde and fild with murther and misdeeds . Is 't not simply the best that euer you heard ? Ha , how do you like it ? Bob. T is good . Mat. To thee the purest obiect to my senc● , The most refined essence heauen couers , Send I these lines , wherein I do commence The happie state of true deseruing louers . If they proue rough , vnpolish't , harsh and rude , Haste made that waste ; thus mildly I conclude . Bob. Nay proceed , proceed , where 's this ? where 's this ? Mat. This sir , a toy of mine owne in my nonage : but when will you come and see my studie ? good faith I can shew you some verie good thinges I haue done of late : that boote becomes your legge passing well sir , me thinks . Bob. So , so , it 's a fashion gentlemen vse . Mat. Masse sir , and now you speake of the fashion , Signior Prosperos elder brother and I are fallen out exceedingly : this other day I hapned to enter into some discourse of a hanger , which I assure you , both for fashion & workmanship was most beautifull and gentlemanlike ; yet hee condemned it for the most pide and ridiculous that euer he saw . Bob. Signior Giuliano , was it not ? the elder brother ? Mat. I sir , he . Bob. Hang him Rooke he ? why he has no more iudgement then a malt horse . By S. George , I hold him the most peremptorie absurd clowne ( one a them ) in Christendome : I protest to you ( as I am a gentleman and a soldier ) I ne're talk't with the like of him : he ha's not so much as a good word in his bellie , all iron , iron , a good commoditie for a smith to make hobnailes on . Mat. I , and he thinkes to carrie it away with his manhood still where he comes : he brags he will giue mee the bastinado , as I heare . Bob. How , the bastinado ? how came he by that word trow ? Mat. Nay indeed he said cudgill me ; I tearmd it so for the more grace . Bob. That may bee , for I was sure it was none of his word : but when , when said he so ? Mat. Faith yesterday they say , a young gallant a friend of mine told me so . Bob. By the life of Pharaoh , and 't were my case nowe , I should send him a challenge presently : the bastinado ? come hither , you shall challenge him ; I le shew you a tricke or two , you shall kill him at pleasure , the first stockado if you will , by this ayre . Mat. Indeed you haue absolute knowledge in the mistery , I haue heard sir. Bob. Of whom ? of whom I pray ? Mat. Faith I haue heard it spoken of diuers , that you haue verie rare skill sir. Bob. By heauen , no , not I , no skill in the earth : some small science , know my time , distance , or so , I haue profest it more for noblemen and gentlemens vse , then mine owne practise I assure you . Hostesse , lend vs another bedstaffe here quickly : looke you sir , exalt not your point aboue this state at any hand , and let your poyneard maintaine your defence thus : giue it the gentleman . So sir , come on , oh twine your bodie more about , that you may come to a more sweet comely gentleman-like guard ; so indifferent . Hollow your bodie more sir , thus : now stand fast on your left leg , note your distance , keep your due proportion of time : oh you disorder your point most vilely . Mat. How is the bearing of it now sir ? Bob. Oh out of measure ill , a well experienced man would passe vpon you at pleasure . Mat. How meane you passe vpon me ? Bob. Why thus sir ? make a thrust at me ; come in vpon my time ; controll your point , and make a full carriere at the bodie : the best practis'd gentlemen of the time terme it the passado , a most desperate thrust , beleeue it . Mat. Well , come sir. Bob. Why you do not manage your weapons with that facilitie and grace that you should doe , I haue no spirit to play with you , your dearth of iudgement makes you seeme tedious . Mat. But one ve●y sir. Bob. Fie veney , most grosse denomination , as euer I heard : oh the stockado while you liue Signior , note that . Come put on your cloake , and wee le go to some priuate place where you are acquainted , some tauerne or so , & wee le se●d for one of these fencers , where he shall breath you at my direction , and then I le teach you that tricke , you shall kill him with it at the first if you please : why I le learne you by the true iudgement of the eye , hand and foot , to controll any mans point in the world ; Should your aduersary confront you with a pistoll , t' were nothing , you should ( by the same rule ) controll the bullet , most certaine by Phoebus : vnles it were haile-shot : what mony haue you about you sir ? Mat. Faith I haue not past two shillings , or so . Bob. T is somewhat with the least , but come , when we haue done , wee le call vp Signior Prospero ; perhaps we shal meet with Coridon his brother there . Exeunt ▪ SCENA QVARTA . Enter Thor●llo , Giuliano , Piso. Tho. Piso , come hither : there lies a note within vpon my deske ; here take my key : it 's no matter neither , where 's the boy ? Piso. Within sir , in the warehouse . Thor. Let him tell ouer that Spanish gold , and weigh it , and do you see the deliuerie of those wares to Signior Bentiuol● : I le be there my selfe at the receipt of the money anon . Piso. Verie good sir. Exit Piso. Tho. Brother , did you see that same fellow there ? Giu. I , what of him ? Tho. He is e'ene the honestest faithfull seruant , that is this day in Florence ; ( I speake a proud word now ) and one that I durst trust my life into his hands , I haue so strong opinion of his loue , if need were . Giu. God send me neuer such need : but you said you had somewhat to tell me , what is 't ? Tho. Faith brother , I am loath to vtter it , As fearing to abuse your patience , But that I know your iudgement more direct , Able to sway the nearest of affection . Giu. Come , come , what needs this circumstance ? Tho. I will not say what honor I ascribe Vnto your friendship , nor in what deare state I hold your loue ; let my continued zeale , The constant and religious regard , That I haue euer caried to your name , My cariage with your sister , all contest , How much I stand affected to your house . Giu. You are too tedious , come to the matter , come to the matter . Tho. Then ( without further ceremony ) thus . My brother Prospero ( I know not how ) Of late is much declin'd from what he was , And greatly alterd in his disposition . When he came first to lodge here in my house , Ne're trust me , if I was not proud of him : Me thought he bare himselfe with such obseruance , So true election and so faire a forme : And ( what was chiefe ) it shewd not borrowed in him , But all he did became him as his owne , And seemd as perfect , proper , and innate , Vnto the mind , as collor to the blood , But now ▪ his course is so irregular , So loose affected , and depriu'd of grace . And he himselfe withall so farre falne off From his first place , that scarse no note remaines , To tell mens iudgements where he lately stood ; Hee 's growne a stranger to all due respect , Forgetfull of his friends , and not content To stale himselfe in all societies , He makes my house as common as a Mart , A Theater , a publike receptacle For giddie humor , and diseased riot , And there , ( as in a Tauerne , or a stewes , ) He , and his wilde associates , spend their houres , In repetition of lasciuious ●e●ts , Sweare , leape , and dance , and reuell night by night , Controll my seruants : a●d indeed what not ? Giu. Faith I know not what I should say to him : so God saue mee , I am eene at my wits end , I haue tolde him inough , one would thinke , if that would serue : well , he knowes what to trust to for me : let him spend , and spend , and domineere till his hart ake : & he get a peny more of me , I le giue him this ●are . Tho. Nay good Brother haue patience . Giu. S'blood , he mads me , I could eate my very flesh for anger : I marle you will not tell him of it , how he disquiets your house ▪ Tho. O there are diūers reasons to disswade me , But would your selfe vouchsafe to trauaile in it , ( Though but with plaine , and easie circumstance , ) It would , both come much better to his sence , And sauor lesse of griefe and discontent . You are his elder brother , and that title Confirmes and warrants your authoritie : Which ( seconded by your aspect ) will breed A kinde of duty in him , and regard . Whereas , if I should intimate the least , It would but adde contempt , to his neglect , Heape worse on ill , reare a huge pile of hate , That in the building , would come tottring downe , And in her ●uines , bury all our loue . Nay more then this brother ; ( if I should speake ) He would be ready in the heate of passion , To fill the eares of his familiars , With oft reporting to them , what disgrace And grosse disparagement , I had propos'd him . And then would they straight back him , in opinion , Make some loose comment vpon euery word , And out of their distracted phantasies ; Contriue some slander , that should dwell with me . And what would that be thinke you ? mary this , They would giue out , ( because my wife is fayre , My selfe but lately married , and my sist●r Heere soiourning a virgin in my house ) That I were iealous : nay , as sure as death , Thus they would say : and how that I had wrongd My brother purposely , thereby to finde An apt pretext to banish them my house . Giu. Masse perhaps so . Tho. Brother they would beleeue it : so should I ( Like one of these penurious quack-slaluers , ) But trie experiments vpon my selfe , Open the gates vnto mine owne disgrace , Lend bare-ribd enuie , oportunitie . To stab my reputation , and good name . Enter Boba . and Matheo . Mat. I will speake to him . Bob. Speake to him ? away , by the life of Pharoah you shall not , you shall not do him that grace : the time of daye to you Gentleman : is Signior Prospero stirring ? Giu. How then ? what should he doe ? Bob. Signior Thorello , is he within sir ? Tho. He came not to his lodging to night sir , I assure you . Giu. Why do you heare ? you . Bob. This gentleman hath satisfied me , I le talke to no Scauenger . Giu. How Scauenger ? stay sir stay . Exeunt . Tho. Nay Brother Giuliano . Giu. S'blood stand you away , and you loue me . Tho. You shall not follow him now I pray you , Good faith you shall not . Giu. Ha ? Scauenger ? well goe to , I say little , but , by this good day ( God forgiue me I should sweare ) if I put it vp so , say I am the rankest — that euer pist . S'blood and I swallowe this , I le neere drawe my sworde in the sight of man againe while I liue ; I le ●it in a Barne with Madge-owlet first , Scauenger ? ' Hart and I le goe neere to fill that hug● timbrell slop of yours with somewhat and I haue good lucke , your Garagantua breech cannot carry it away so . Tho. Oh do not fret your selfe thus , neuer thinke o●'t . Giu. These are my brothers consorts these , these are his Cumrades , his walking mates , hee s a gallant , a Caueliero too , right hangman cut , God let me not liue , and I could not finde in my hart to swinge the whole ne●t of them , one after another , and begin with him first , I am grieu'd it should be said he is my brother , and take these courses , well he shall heare on 't , and that tightly too , and I liue Ifaith . Tho. But brother , let your apprehension ( then ) Runne in an easie current , not transported With heady rashnes , or deuouring choller , And rather carry a perswading spirit , Whose powers will pearce more gently ; and allure , Th' imperfect thoughts you labour to reclaime , To a more sodaine and resolu'd assent . Giu. I , I , let me alone for that I warrant you . Bell ring● . Tho. How now ? oh the bell rings to breakefast . Brother Giuliano , I pray you go in and beare my wife company : I le but giue order to my seruants for the dispatche of some busines and come to you presently . Exit Guil. Enter Cob. What Cob ? our maides will haue you by the back ( Ifaith ) For comming so late this morning . Cob. Perhaps so sir , take heede some body haue not the● ▪ by the belly for walking so late in the euening . Exit . Tho. Now ( in good faith ) my minde is somewhat easd , Though not repo●d in that securitie , As I could wish ; well , I must be content , How e're I set a face on 't to the world , Would I had lost this ●inger at a vente , So Prospero had ne're lodg'd in my house , Why 't cannot be , where there is such resort Of wanton gallants , and young reuellers , That any woman should be honest long . I' st like , that factious beauty will preserue The soueraigne state of chastitie vnscard , When such strong motiues muster , and make head Against her single peace ? no , no : beware When mutuall pleasure swayes the appetite , And spirits of one kinde and qualitie , Do meete to parlee in the pride of blood . Well ( to be plaine ) if I but thought , the time Had answer'd their affections : all the world Should not perswade me , but I were a cuckold : Mary I hope they haue not got that start . For opportunity hath balkt them yet , And shall do still , while I haue eyes and eares To attend the imposition of my hart , My presence shall be as an Iron Barre , Twixt the conspiring motions of desire , Yea euery looke or glaunce mine eye obiects , Shall checke occasion , as one doth his slaue , When he forgets the limits of prescription . Enter Bia●cha , with Hesperida . Bia. Sister Hesperida , I pray you fetch downe the Rose water aboue in the closet : Sweete hart will you come in to breakfast . Exit Hesperida . Tho. And she haue ouer-heard me now ? Bia. I pray thee ( good Musse ) we stay for you . Tho. By Christ I would not for a thousand crownes . Bia. VVhat ayle you sweete hart , are you not well , speake good Musse . Tho. Troth my head akes extreamely on a suddaine . Bia. Oh Iesu ! Tho. How now ? what ? Bia. Good Lord how it burnes ? Musse keepe you warme , good truth it is this new disease , there 's a number are troubled withall : for Gods sake sweete heart , come in out of the ayre . Tho. How simple , and how subtill are her answeres ? A new disease , and many troubled with it . Why true , she heard me all the world to nothing . Bia. I pray thee good sweet heart come in ; the ayre will do you harme in troth . Tho. I le come to you presently , it will away I hope . Bia. Pray God it do . Exit . Tho. A new disease ? I know not , new or old . But it may well be call'd poore mortals Plague ; For like a pestilence it doth infect The houses of the braine : first it begins Solely to worke vpon the fantasie , Filling her seat with such pestiferous aire , As soone corrupts the iudgement , and from thence , Sends like contagion to the memorie , Still each of other catching the infection , Which as a searching vapor spreads it selfe Confusedly through euery sensiue part , Till not a thought or motion in the mind Be free from the blacke poison of suspect . Ah , but what error is it to know this , And want the free election of the soule In such extreames ? well , I will once more striue , ( Euen in despight of hell ) my selfe to be , And shake this feauer off that thus shakes me . Exit . ACTVS SECVNDVS , SCENA PRIMA . Enter Musco disguised like a soldier . Musco . S'blood , I cannot chuse but laugh to see my selfe translated thus , from a poore creature to a creator ; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies , or else my profession looses his grace , and yet the lie to a man of my coat , is as ominous as the 〈◊〉 oh sir , it holds for good policie to haue that outwardly in vilest estimation , that inwardly is most deare to vs : So much for my borrowed shape . Well , the troth is , my maister intends to follow his sonne drie-foot to Florence , this morning : now I knowing of this conspiracie , and the rather to insinuate with my young master , ( ●or so must wee that are blew waiters , or men of seruice doe , or else perhaps wee may weare motley at the yeares end , and who weares motley you know : ) I haue got me afore in this disguise , determining here to lie in ambuscado , & intercept him in the midway : If I can but get his cloake , his purse , his hat , nay any thing so I can stay his iourney , Rex Regum , I am made for euer ifaith : well , now must I practise to get the true garbe of one of these Launce-knights : my arme here , and my : Gods so , young master and his cousin . Enter Lo. iu. and Step. Lo. iu. So sir , and how then ? Step. Gods foot , I haue lost my purse , I thinke . Lo. iu. How ? lost your purse ? where ? when had you it ? Step. I cannot tell , stay . Mus. S'lid I am afeard they will know me , would I could get by them . Lo. iu. What ? haue you it ? Step. No , I thinke I was bewitcht , I. Lo. iu. Nay do not weep , a poxe on it , hang it let it go . Step. Oh it 's here , nay and it had beene lost , I had not car'd but for a ●et ring Marina ●ent me . Lo. iu. A iet ring ? oh the poesie , the poesie ? Step. Fine ifaith : Though fancie sleepe , my loue is deepe : meaning that though I did not fancie her , yet shee loued mee dearely . Lo. iu. Most excellent . Step. And then I sent her another , and my poesie was ; The deeper the sweeter , I le be iudg'd by Saint Peter . Lo. iu. How , by S. Peter ? I do not conceiue that . Step. Marrie , S. Peter to make vp the meeter . Lo. iu. Well , you are beholding to that Saint ▪ 〈◊〉 help't you at your need ; thanke him , thanke him . Mus. I will venture , come what will : Gentlemen , please you chaunge a few crownes for a verie excellent good blade here ; I am a poore gentleman , a soldier , one that ( in the better state of my fortunes ) scornd so meane a refuge , but now it s the humour of necessitie to haue it so : you seeme to be gentlemen well affected to martiall men , els I should rather die with silence , then liue with shame : how e're , vouchsafe to remember it is my want speakes , not my selfe : this condition agrees not with my spirit . Lo. iu. Where hast thou seru'd ? Mus. May it please you Signior , in all the prouinces of Bohemia , Hungaria , Dalmatia , Poland , where not ? I haue beene a poore seruitor by sea and land , any time this xiiij . yeares , and follow'd the fortunes of the best Commaunders in Christendome . I was twise shot at the taking of Aleppo , once at the reliefe of Vienna ; I haue beene at America in the galleyes thrise ▪ where I was most dangerously shot in the head , through both the thighes , and yet being thus maim'd I am voide of maintenance , nothing left me but my scarres , the noted markes of my resolution . Step. How will you sell this Rapier friend ? Mus. Faith Signior , I referre it to your owne iudgement ; you are a gentleman , giue me what you please . Step. True , I am a gentleman , I know that ; but what though , I pray you say , what would you aske ? Mus. I assure you the blade may become the side of the best prince in Europe . Lo. iu. I , with a veluet scabberd . Step. Nay and 't be mine it shall haue a veluet scabberd , that is flat , ●'de not weare it as'tis and you would giue me an angell . Mus. At your pleasure Signior , nay it 's a most pure Toledo . Step. I had rather it were a Spaniard : but tell me , what shal I giue you for it ? and it had a siluer hilt — Lo. iu. Come , come , you shall not buy it ; holde there 's a shilling friend , take thy Rapier . Step. Why but I will buy it now , because you say so : what shall I go without a rapier ? Lo. iu. You may buy one in the citie . Step. Tut , I le buy this , so I will ; tell me your lowest price . Lo. iu. You shall not I say . Step. By Gods lid , but I will , though I giue more then 't is worth . Lo. iu. Come away , you are a foole . Step. Friend , I le haue it for that word : follow me . Mus. At your seruice Signior . Exeunt . SCENA SECVNDA . Enter Lorenzo senior . Lore . My labouring spirit being late opprest With my sonnes follie , can embrace no rest , Till it hath plotted by aduise and skill , How to reduce him from affected will To reasons manage ; which while I intend , My troubled soule beginnes to apprehend A farther secret , and to meditate Vpon the difference of mans estate : Where is deciphered to true iudgements eye A deep , conceald , and precious misterie . Yet can I not but worthily admire At natures art : who ( when she did inspire This heat of life ) plac'd Reason ( as a king ) Here in the head , to haue the marshalling Of our affections : and with soueraigntie To sway the state of our weake empe●ie , But as in diuers commonwealthes we see , The forme of gouernment to disagree : Euen so in man who searcheth soone shal find As much or more varietie of mind . Some mens affections like a fullen wife , Is with her husband reason still at strife . Others ( like proud Arch-traitors that rebell Against their soueraigne ) practise to expell Their liege Lord Reason , and not shame to tread Vpon his holy and annointed head . But as that land or nation best doth thriue , Which to smooth-fronted peace is most procliue , So doth that mind , whose faire affections rang'd By reasons rules , stand constant and vnchang'd , Els , if the power of reason be not such , Why do we attribute to him so much ? Or why are we obsequious to his law , If he want spirit our affects to awe ? Oh no , I argue weakly , he is strong , Enter Musco . Albeit my sonne haue done him too much wrong . Mus. My master : nay faith haue at you : I am flesht now I haue sped so well : Gentleman , I beseech you respect the estate of a poor soldier ; I am asham'd of this base course of life ( God's my comfort ) but extremitie prouokes me to 't , what remedie ? Loren. I haue not for you now . Mus. By the faith I beare vnto God , gentleman , it is no o●●dinarie custome , but onely to preserue manhood . I protest to you , a man I haue bin , a man I may be , by your sweet bountie . Lor. I pray thee good friend be satisfied . Mus. Good Signior : by Iesu you may do the part of a kind gentleman , in lending a poore soldier the price of two cans of beere , a matter of small value , the King of heauen shall pay you , and I shall rest thankfull : sweet Signior . Loren. Nay and you be so importunate — Mus. Oh Lord sir , need wil haue his course : I was not made to this vile vse ; well , the edge of the enemie could not haue abated me so much : it 's hard when a man hath serued in his Princes cause and be thus . Signior , let me deriue a small peece of siluer from you , it shall not be giuen in the course of time , by this good ground , I was faine to pawne my rapier last night for a poore supper , I am a Pagan els : sweet Signior . Loren. Beleeue me I am rapte with admiration , To thinke a man of thy exterior presence , Should ( in the constitution of the mind ) Be so degenerate , infirme , and base . Art thou a man ? and sham'st thou not to beg ? To practise such a seruile kinde of life ? Why were thy education ne're so meane , Hauing thy limbes : a thousand fairer courses Offer themselues to thy election . Nay there the warres might still supply thy wants , Or seruice of some vertuous Gentleman , Or honest labour ; nay what can I name , But would become thee better then to beg ? But men of your condition feede on sloth , As doth the Scara●e on the dung she breeds in , Not caring how the temper of your spirits Is eaten with the rust of idlenesse . Now afore God , what e're he be , that should Releeue a person of thy qualitie , While you insist in this loose desperate course , I would esteeme the sinne not th●ne but his . Mus. Faith signior , I would gladly finde some other course if so ▪ Loren. I , you 'ld gladly finde it , but you will not seeke it . Mus. Alas●e sir , where should a man seeke ? in the warres , there 's no assent by desart in these dayes , but : and for seruice would it were as soone purchast as wisht for ( Gods my comfort ) I know what I would say . Loren. What 's thy name . Mus. Please you : Portensi● . Loren. Portensio ? Say that a man should entertaine thee now , Would thou be honest , humble , iust and true . Mus. Signior : by the place and honor of a souldier . Loren. Nay , nay , I like not these affected othes ; Speake plainly man : what thinkst thou of my words ? Mus. Nothing signior , but wish my fortunes were as happy as my seruice should be honest . Loren. Well follow me , I le prooue thee , if thy deedes Will cary a proportion to thy words . Exit Lor. M●s. Yes sir straight , I le but g●rter m●●ose ; oh that my bellie were hoopt now , for I am readie to burst with laughing . S●lid , was there euer seene a foxe in yeares to betray himselfe thus ? now shall I be possest of all his determinations , and consequently and my young master well hee is resolu'd to proue my honestie : faith and I am resolued to proue his patience : oh I shall abuse him intollerablie : this small peece of seruice will bring him cleane out of loue with the soldier for euer . It 's no matter , let the world thinke me a bad counterfeit , if I cannot giue him the slip at an instant : why this is better then to haue staid his iourney by halfe , well I le follow him ; oh how I long to be imployed . Exit . SCENA TERTIA. Enter Prospero , Bobadilla , and Mathe● . Mat. Yes faith sir , we were at your lodging to seeke you too . Pros. Oh I came not there to night . Bob. Your brother deliuered vs as much . Pros. Who Giuliano ? Bob. Ciuliano ▪ Signior Prospero , I know not in what kinde you value me , but let me tell you this : as sure as God I do hold it so much out of mine honor & reputation , if I should but cast the least regard vpon such a dunghill of flesh ; I protest to you ( as I haue a soule to bee saued ) I ne're saw any gentlemanlike part in him : and there were no more men liuing vpon the face of the earth , I should not fancie him by Phoebus . Mat. Troth nor I , he is of a rusticall cut , I know not how : he doth not carrie himselfe like a gentleman . Pros. Oh Signior Matheo , that 's a grace peculiar but to a few ; quos aequus amauit Iupiter . Mat. I vnderstand you sir. Enter Lorenzo iunior , and Step. Pros. No question you do sir : Lorenzo ; now on my soule welcome ; how doest thou sweet raskall ? my Genius ? S'blood I shal loue Apollo , & the m●d Thespian girles the better while I ●ue for this ; my deare villaine , now I see there 's some spirit in thee : Sirra these be they two I writ to thee of , nay what a drowsie humor is this now ? why doest thou not speake ? Lo. Iu. Oh you are a fine gallant , you sent me a rare letter . Pros. Why was 't not rare ? Lo. Iu. Yes I le be sworne I was ne're guiltie of reading the like , match it in all Pli●ies familiar Epistles , and I le haue my iudgement burnd in the ●are for a rogue , make much of thy vaine , for it is inimitable . But I marle what Camell it was , that had the cariage of it ? for doubtlesse he was no ordinarie beast that brought it . Pros. Why ? Lo. Iu. Why sayest thou ? why doest thou thinke that any reasonable creature , especially in the morning , ( the sober time of the day too ) would haue taine my father for me ? Pros. S'blood you iest I hope ? Lo. Iu. Indeed the best vse we can turne it too , is to make a iest on 't now : but I le assure you , my father had the prouing of your copy , some howre before I saw it . Pros. What a dull slaue was this ? But sirrah what sayd he to it yfaith ? Lo. Iu. Nay I know not what he said . But I haue a shrewd gesse what he thought . Pro. What ? what ? Lo. Iu. Mary that thou are a damn'd dissolute villaine , And I some graine or two better , in keeping thee company . Pros. Tut that thought is like the Moone in the last quarter , t will change shortly : but sirrha , I pray thee be acquainted with my two Zanies heere , thou wilt take exceeding pleasure in them if thou hearst them once , but what strange peece of silence is this ? the signe of the dumbe man ? Lo. Iu. Oh sir a ki●sman of mine , one that may make our Musique the fuller and he please , he hath his humor sir. Pros. Oh what i st ? what i st ? Lo. Iu. Nay : I le neyther do thy iudgement , nor his folly that wrong , as to prepare thy apprehension : I le leaue him to the mercy of the time , if you can take him : so . Pros. Well signior Bobadilla : signior Matheo : I pray you know this Gentleman here , he is a friend of mine , & one that will wel deserue your affection , I know not your name signior , but I shal be glad of any good occasion , to be more familiar with you . Step. My name is signior Stephano , sir , I am this Gentlemans cousin , sir his father is mine vnckle ; sir , I am somewhat melancholie , but you shall commaund me sir , in whatsoeuer is incident to a Gentleman . Bob. Signior , I must tell you this , I am no generall man , embrace it as a most high fauour , for ( by the host of Egypt ) but that I conceiue you , to be a Gentleman of some parts , I loue few words : you haue wit : imagine . Step. I truely sir , I am mightily giuen to melancholy . Mat. Oh Lord sir , it 's your only best humor sir , your true melancholy , breedes your perfect fine wit sir : I am melancholie my selfe diuers times sir , and then do I no more but take your pen and paper presently , and write you your halfe score or your dozen of sonnets at a sitting . Lo. iu. Masse then he vtters them by the grosse . Step. Truely sir and I loue such things out of measure . Lo. iu. I faith , as well as in measure . Mat. Why I pray you signior , make vse of my studie , it 's at your seruice . Step. I thanke you sir , I shal be bolde I warrant you , haue you a close stoole there ? Mat. Faith sir , I haue some papers there , toyes of mine owne doing at idle houres , that you 'le say there 's some sparkes of wit in them , when you shall see them . Prosp. Would they were kindled once , and a good fire made , I might see selfe loue burnd for her heresie . Step. Cousin , is it well ? am I melancholie inough ? Lo. iu. Oh I , excellent . Prosp. Signior Bobadilla ? why muse you so ? Lo. iu. He is melancholy too . Bob. Faith sir , I was thinking of a most honorable piece of seruice was perform'd to morow ; being S Marks day : shal be some tē years . Lo. iu. In what place was that seruice , I pray you sir ? Bob. Why at the beleagring of Ghibell●tto , where , in lesse then two houres , seuen hundred resolute gentlemen , as any were in Europe , lost their liues vpon the b●each : I le tell you gentlemen , it was the first , but the best leaug●● that euer I beheld with these eyes , except the taking in of 〈◊〉 last yeer by the Genowayes , but that ( of all other ) was the most fatall & dangerous exploit , that euer I was rang'd in , since I first bore armes before the fa●e of the enemy , as I am a gentleman and a souldier . Step. So , I had as liefe as an angell I could sweare as well as that gentleman . Lo. iu. Then you were a seruitor at both it seemes . Bob. Oh Lord sir : by Phaeton I was the first man that entred the breach , and had I not effected it with resolution , I had bene slaine if I had had a million of liues . Lo. iu. Indeed sir ? Step. Nay & you heard him discourse you would say so : how like you him ? Bob. I assure you ( vpon my saluation ) 't is true , and your selfe shall confesse . Prosp. You must bring him to the racke first . Bob. Obserue me iudicially sweet signior : they had planted me a demy culuering , iust in the mouth of the breach ; now sir ( as we were to ascend ) their master gunner ( a man of no meane skill and courage , you must thinke ) confronts me with his Linstock ready to giue fire ; I spying his intendement , discharg'd my Petrinell in his bosome , and with this instrument my poore Rapier , ran violently vpon the Moores that guarded the ordinance , and put them pell-mell to the sword . Pros. To the sword ? to the Rapier signior . Lo. iu. Oh it was a good figure obseru'd sir : but did you all this signior without hurting your blade . Bob. Without any impeach on the earth : you shall perceiue sir , it is the most fortunate weapon , that euer rid on a poore gentlemans thigh : shall I tell you sir , you talke of Mor● glay , Excaliber , Durindana , or so : tut , I lend no credit to that is reported of them , I know the vertue of mine owne , and therefore I dare the boldlier maintaine it . Step. I marle whether it be a Toledo or no ? Bob. A most perfect Toledo , I assure you signior . Step. I haue a countriman of his here . Mas. Pray you let 's see 〈◊〉 : yes faith it is . Bob. This a Toledo ▪ pis●● . Step. Why do you pish signior ? Bob. A Fleming by Phoebus , I le buy them for a guilder a pece● and I le haue a thousand of them . Lo. iu. How say you cousin , I told you thus much . Pros. VVhere bought you it sig●ior ? Step. Of a scuruy rogue Souldier , a pox of God on him , he swore it was a Toledo . Bob. A prouant Rapier , no better . Mat. Masse I thinke it be indeed . Lo. iu. Tut now it 's too late to looke on it , put it vp , put it vp . Step. VVell I will not put it vp , but by Gods foote , and ere I meete him — Pros. Oh it is past remedie now sir , you must haue patience . Step. Horson conny-catching Raskall ; oh I could eate the very hilts for anger . Lo. iu. A signe you haue a good Ostrich stomack Cousin . Step. A stomack ? would I had him here , you should see and I had a stomacke . Pros. It 's better as 't is : come gentlemen shall we goe ? Enter Musce . Lo. iu. A miracle cousin , looke here , looke here . Step. Oh , Gods lid , by your leaue , do you know me sir. Mus. I sir , I know you by sigh● . Step. You sold me a Rapier , did you not ? Mus. Yes marry did I sir. Step. You said it was a Toled● ha ? Mus. True I did so . Step. But it is none . Mus. No sir , I confesse it , it is none . Step. Gentlemen beare witnesse , he has con●est it . By Gods lid , and you had not confest it — Lo. iu. Oh cousin , forbeare , forbeare . Step. Nay I haue done cousin . Pros. Why you haue done like a Gentleman , he ha's confest it , what would you more ? Lo. iu. Sirra how doost thou like him . Pros. Oh it s a pretious good foole , make much on him : I can compare him to nothing more happely , then a Barbers virginals ; for euery one may play vpon him . Mus. Gentleman , shall I intreat a word with you ? Lo. iu. With all my heart sir , you haue not another Toledo to sell , haue yee ? Mus. You are pleasant , your name is signior Lorenzo as I take it . Lo. iu. You are in the right : S'bloud he meanes to catechize me I thinke . Mus. No sir , I leaue that to the Curate , I am none of that coate . Lo. iu. And yet of as bare a coate ; well , say sir. Mus. Faith signior , I am but seruant to God Mars extraordinarie , and indeed ( this brasse varnish being washt off , and three or foure other tricks sublated ) I appeare yours in reuersion , after the decease of your good father , Musco . Lo. iu. Musco , s'bloud what winde hath blowne thee hither in this shape . Mus. Your Easterly winde sir , the same that blew your father hither . Lo. iu. My father ? Mus. Nay neuer start , it 's true , he is come to towne of purpose to seeke you . Lo. iu. Sirra Prospero : what shall we do sirra , my father is come to the city . Pros. Thy father : where is he ? Mus. At a Gentlemans house yonder by Saint A●thonies ▪ where he but stayes my returne ; and then — Pros. Who 's this ? Musco ? Mus. The same sir. Pros. Why how comst thou trans-muted thus ? Mus. Faith a deuise , a deuise , nay for the loue of God , stand not here Gentlemen , house your selues and I le tell you all . Lo. iu. But art thou sure he will stay thy returne ? Mus. Do I liue sir ? what a question is that ? Pros. Well wee 'le prorogue his expectation a little : Musc● thou ●halt go with vs : Come on Gentlemen : nay I pray thee ( good raskall ) droope not , s'hart and our wits be so gowty , that one old plodding braine can out-strip vs all , Lord I beseech thee , may they lie and starue in some miserable spittle , where they may neuer see the face of any true spirit againe , but bee perpetually haunted with some church-yard Hobgoblin in s●cul● secul●rum . Mus. Amen , Amen . Exeunt . ACTVS TERTIVS . SCENA PRIMA . Enter Thor●llo , and Piso. Pis. He will expect you sir within this halfe houre . Tho. Why what 's a clocke ? Pis. New striken ten . Tho. Hath he the money ready , can you tell ? Pis. Yes sir , Baptista brought it yesternight . Tho. Oh that 's well : fetch me my cloake . Exit Piso. Stay , let me see ; an hower to goe and come , I that will be the least : and then 't will be An houre , before I can dispatch with him ; Or very neare : well , I will say two houres ; Two houres ? ha ? things neuer drempt of yet May be contriu'd , I and effected too , In two houres absence : well I will not go . Two houres ; no flee●ing opportunity I will not giue your trecherie that scope . Who will not iudge him worthy to be robd , That sets his doores wide open to a theefe , And shewes the felon , where his treasure lyes ▪ Againe , what earthy spirit but will attempt To taste the fruite of beauties golden tree , When leaden sleepe seales vp the dragons eyes ? Oh beauty is a Proiect of some power , Chiefely when oportunitie attends her : She will infuse true motion in a stone , Put glowing fire in an Icie soule , Stuffe peasants bosoms with proud Caesars spleene , Powre rich deuice into an empty braine : Bring youth to follies gate : there traine him in , And after all , extenuate his sinne . Well , I will not go , I am resolu'd for that . Goe cary it againe , yet stay : yet do too , I will deferre it till some other time . Enter Piso. Piso. Sir , signior Platano wil meet you there with the bo●d . Tho. That 's true : by Iesu I had cleane forgot it . I must goe , what 's a clocke ? Pis. Past ten sir. Tho. ' Hart , then will Prospero presently be here too , With one or other of his loose consorts . I am a Iew , if I know what to say , What course to take , or which way to resolue . My braine ( me thinkes ) is like an hower-glasse , And my imaginations like the sands , Runne dribling foorth to fill the mouth of time , Still chaung'd with turning in the ventricle . What were I best to doe ? it shal be so . Nay I dare build vpon his secrecie ? Piso. Piso. Sir. Tho. Yet now I haue bethought me to , I wil not . Is Cob within ? Pis. I thinke he be sir. Tho. But hee 'le prate too , there 's no talke of him . No , there were no course vpon the earth to this , If I durst trust him ; tut I were secure , But there 's the question now , if he should prooue , Rimarum plenus , then , s'blood I were Rook● . The state that he hath stood in till this present ▪ Doth promise no such change ▪ what should I feare then ? Well , come what will , I le tempt my fortune once . Piso , thou mayest deceiue mee , but I thinke thou louest mee Piso. Piso. Sir , if a seruants zeale and humble duetie may bee term'd loue , you are possest of it . Tho. I haue a matter to impart to thee , but thou must be secret , Piso. Pis. Sir for that — Tho. Nay heare me man ; thinke I esteeme thee well , To let thee in thus to my priuate thoughts ; Piso , it is a thing , sits neerer to my crest , Then thou art ware of : if thou shouldst reueale it — Pis. Reueale it sir ? Tho. Nay , I do not think thou wouldst , but if thou shouldst : Pis. Sir , then I were a villaine : Disclaime in me for euer if I do . Tho. He will not sweare : he has some meaning su●e , Else ( being vrg'd so much ) how should he choose , But lend an oath to all this protestation ? He is no puritane , that I am certaine of . What should I thinke of it ? vrge him againe , And in some other forme : I will do so . Well Piso , thou hast sworne not to disclose ; I you did sweare ▪ Pis. Not yet sir , but I will , so please you . Tho. Nay I dare take thy word . But if thou wilt sweare ; do as you thinke good , I am resolu'd without such circumstance . Pis. By my soules safetie sir I here protest , My tongue shall ne're take knowledge of a word Deliuer'd me in compasse of your trust . Tho. Enough , enough , these ceremonies need not , I know thy faith to be as firme as brasse . Piso come hither : nay we must be close In managing these actions : So it is , ( Now he ha's sworne I dare the safelier speake ; ) I haue of late by diuers obseruations — But , whether his oath be lawfull yea , or no , ha● I will aske counsel ere I do proceed : Piso , it will be now too long to stay , Wee 'le spie some fitter time soone , or to morrow . Pis. At your pleasure sir. Tho. I pray you search the bookes gainst I returne For the receipts twixt me and Platan● . Pis. I will sir. Tho. And heare you : if my brother Prospero Chance to bring hither any gentlemen Ere I come backe : let one straight bring me word . Pis. Very well sir. Tho. Forget it not , nor be not you out of the way . Pis. I will not sir. Tho. Or whether he come or no , if any other , Stranger or els ? faile not to send me word . Pis. Yes sir. Tho. Haue care I pray you and remember it . Pis. I warrant you sir. Tho. But Piso , this is not the secret I told thee of . Pis. No sir , I suppose so . Tho. Nay beleeue me it is not . Pis. I do beleeue you sir. Tho. By heauen it is not , that 's enough . Marrie , I would not thou shouldst vtter it to any creature liuing . Yet I care not . Well , I must hence : Piso conceiue thus much , No ordinarie person could haue drawne So deepe a secret from me ; I meane not this , But that I haue to tell thee : this is nothing , this . Piso , remember , silence , buried here : No greater hell then to be slaue to feare . Exit Tho. Piso. Piso , remember , silence , buried here : Whence should this flow of passion ( trow ) take head ? ha ? Faith I le dreame no longer of this running humor . For feare I sinke , the violence of the streame Alreadie hath transported me so farre , That I can feele no ground at all : but soft , Enter Cob. Oh it 's our water bearer : somewhat ha's crost him now . Cob. Fasting dayes : what tell you me of your fasting dayes ▪ would they were all on a light fire for mee : they say the world shall be consum'd with fire and brimstone in the latter day : but I would we had these ember weekes , and these villanous fridaies burnt in the meane time , and then — Pis. Why ●ow now C●b , what moues thee to this choller ? ha ? Cob. Coller fir● swounds I scorn● your coller , I sir am no colliers horse sir , neuer ride me with your coller , and you doe , I le shew you a iades tricke . Pis. Oh you 'le slip your head out of the coller : why Cob you mistake me . Cob. Nay I haue my rewme , and I be angrie as well as another , sir. Pis. Thy rewme ; thy humor man , thou mistakest . Cob. Humor ? macke , I thinke it bee so indeed : what is this humor ? it's some rare ●hing I warrant . Piso. Marrie I le tell thee what it is ( as t is generally receiued in these daies ) it is a monster bred in a man by selfe loue , and affectation , and fed by folly . Cob. How ? must be 〈◊〉 Pis. Oh I ▪ humor is nothing if it ●e not ●ed , why , didst thou 〈◊〉 heare of that ? it's a common phrase , Feed my 〈◊〉 . Cob. I le none on it : humor , auaunt , I know you not , be gon . Let who will make hungry meales for you , it shall not bee I : Feed you quoth 〈◊〉 blood I haue much adoe to feed my self , especially on these 〈…〉 daies ●oo , and 't had beene any other day but a fasting day ▪ 〈…〉 on them all for mee : by this light one might haue done God good seruice and haue drown'd them 〈◊〉 in the floud two or three hundred thousand year●● ago , oh I do stomacke them hugely : I haue a mawe now , and 't were for 〈◊〉 Be●isses horse . Pis. Nay , but I pray thee Cob , what makes thee so out of loue with fasting daies ? Cob. Marrie that , that will make any man out of loue with them , I thinke : their bad conditions and you wil needs know : First , they are of a Flemmish breed I am sure on 't , for they raūe vp more butter then all the daies of the weeke beside : next , they stinke of fish miserably : Thirdly , they 'le keep a man deuoutly hungry all day , & at night send him supperlesse to bed . Pis. Indeed these are faults Cob. Cob. Nay and this were all , 't were something , but they are the onely knowne enemies to my generation . A fasting day no sooner comes , but my lineage goes to racke , poore Cobbes they smoake for it , they melt in passion , and your maides too know this , and yet would haue me turne Hannibal , and eat my owne fish & blood : my princely couze , feare nothing ; I haue not the heart to deuoure you , and I might bee made as rich as Golias : oh that I had roome for my teares , I could weep salt water enough now to preserue the liues of ten thousand of my kin : but I may curse none but these filthy Almanacks ; for and 't were not for them , these daies of persecution would ne're bee knowne . I le be hang'd and some Fishmongers sonne doe not make on'them , and puts in more fasting daies then hee should doe , because he would vtter his fathers dried stockfish . Pis. S'oule peace , thou 'lt be beaten like a stockfish else : here is Signior Math●● . Now must I looke out for a messenger to my Master . Exeunt Cob & Piso. Enter Matheo , Prosper● , Lo. iunior , Bobadilla , Stephan● , Musco . SCENA SECVNDA . Pros. Beshrew me , but it was an absolute good iest , and exceedingly well caried . Lo. iu. I and our ignorance maintained it as well , did it not ? Pros. Yes faith , but was 't possible thou should'st not know him ? Lo. iu. Fore God not I , and I might haue beene ioind patten with one of the nine worthies for knowing him . S'blood man , he had so writhe● himselfe into the habit of one of your poore Dispar●i●'s here , your decaied , ruinous , worme-eaten gentlem●n of the round : such as haue vowed to sit on the skirts of the city , let your Prouost & his half dozen of halberders do what they can ; and haue translated begging out of the olde hackney pace , to a fine easy amble , and made it runne as smooth of the toung , as a shoue-groat shilling , into the likenes of one of these leane Pirgo's , had hee moulded himselfe so perfectly , obseruing euerie tricke of their action , as varying the accent : swearing with an Emphasis . Indeed all with so speciall and exquisite a grace , that ( hadst thou seene him ) thou wouldst haue sworne he might haue beene the Tamberlaine , or the Agamemnon on the rout . Pros. Why Musco : who would haue thought thou hadst beene such a gallant ? Lo. i● . I cannot tell , but ( vnles a man had iuggled begging all his life time , and beene a weauer of phrases from his infancie , for the apparrelling of it ) I thinke the world cannot produce his Riuall . Pros. Where got'st thou this coat I marl'e . Mus. Faith sir , I had it of one of the deuils neere kinsmen , a Broker . Pros. That cannot be , if the prouerbe hold , a craftie knaue needs no broker . Mus. True sir , but I need a broker , Ergo no crafty knaue . Pros. Well pu● off , well put off . Lo. i● . Tut , he h●'s more of these shifts . Mus. And yet where I haue one , the broker ha's ten sir. Enter Piso. Piso. Francisco : Martino : ne're a one to bee found now , what a spite 's this ? Pros. How now Piso ? is my brother within ? Pis. No sir , my master went forth e'ene now : but Signio● Gi●l●ano is within . Cob , what Cob : is he gone too ? Pros. Whither went thy master ? Pis● canst thou tell ? Piso. I know not , to Doctor Cle●●n●s , I thinke sir. Cob. Exit Pis● . Lo. iu. Doctor Clement , what 's he ? I haue heard much speech of him . Pros. Why , doest thou not know him ? he is the Go●●alioner● of the state here , an ex●ellent rare ciuilian , and a great scholler , but the onely mad merry olde fellow in Europe : I shewed him you the other day . Lo. iu. Oh I remember him now ; Good faith , and he hath a very strange presence me thinkes , it shewes as if he stoode out of the ranke from other men . I haue heard many of his iests in Padua : they say he will commit a man for taking the wall of his horse . Pros. I or wearing his cloake of one shoulder , or any thing indeede , if it come in the way of his humor . Pis. Gasper , Martin● , Cob : S'hart , where should they be trow ? Enter Piso. Bob. Signior Thorello's man , I pray thee vouchsafe vs the lighting of this match . Pis. A pox on your match , no time but now to vouchsafe ? Francisco , Cob. Exit . Bob. Body of me : here 's the remainder of seuen pound , since yesterday was seuen night . It 's your right Trinidad● : did you neuer take any , signior ? Step. No truly sir ? but I 'le learne to take it now , since you commend it so . Bob. Signior beleeue me , ( vpon my relation ) for what I tel you , the world shall not improue . I haue been in the Indies ( where this herbe growes ) where neither my selfe , nor a dozen Gentlemen more ( of my knowledge ) haue receiued the taste of any other nutriment , in the world , for the space of one and twentie weekes , but Tabacco onely . Therefore it cannot be but 't is most diuine . Further , take it in the nature , in the true kinde so , it makes an Antidote , that ( had you taken the most de●dly poysonous simple in all Florence , it should expell it , and clarifie you , with as much ease , as I speak . And for your greene wound , your Bals●●um , and your — are all meere gull●ries , and trash to it , especially your Trinidado : your 〈◊〉 is good too : I could say what I know of the vertue of it , for the exposing of rewmes , raw humors , crudities , obstructions , with a thousand of this kind ; but I professe my selfe no quacke-saluer : only thus much : by H●rcul●s I doe holde it , and will affirme it ( before any Prince in Europe ) to be the most soueraigne , and pretious herbe , that euer the earth tendred to the vse of man. Lo. iu. Oh this speech would haue done rare in a potheca●ies mouth . Pis. I ▪ close by Saint A●thonies : Doctor Clements . Enter Piso and Cob. Cob. Oh , Oh. Bob. Where 's the match I gaue thee ? Pis. S'blood would his match , and he , and pipe , and all were at Sancto Domingo . Exit . Cob. By gods dey●es : I marle what pleasure of felicitie they haue in taking this rogish Tabacco : it 's good for nothing but to choake a man , and fill him full of smoake , and imbers : there were foure died out of one house last weeke with taking of it , and two more the bell went for yester-night , one of them ( they say ) will ne're scape it , he voyded a bushell of ●oote yester-day , vpward and downeward . By the stockes ; and there were no wiser men then I , I 'ld haue it present death , man or woman , that should but deale with a Tabacco pipe ; why , it will sti●le them all in the'nd as many as vse it ; it 's little better then rats bane . Enter Piso. All. Oh good signior ; hold , hold . Bob. You base cullion , you . Pis. Sir , here 's your match ; come , thou must needes be talking too . Cob. Nay he wil not meddle with his match I warrant you : well it shall be a deere beating , and I liue . Bob. Doe you prate ? Lo. iu. Nay good signior , will you regard the humor of a foole ? away knaue . Pros. Piso get him away . Exit Piso , and Cob. Bob. A horson filthy slaue , a turd , an excrement . Body of Cesar , but that I scorne to let forth so meane a spirit , I 'ld haue stab'd him to the earth . Pros. Mary God forbid sir. Bob. By this faire heauen I would haue done it . Step. Oh he sweares admirably : ( by this faire heauen : ) Body of Cesar : I shall neuer doe it , sure ( vpon my saluation ) no I haue not the right grace . Mat. Signior will you any ? By this ayre the most diuine Tabacco as euer I drunke . Lo. iu. I thanke you sir. Step. Oh this Gentleman doth it rarely too , but nothing like the other . By this ayre , as I am a Gentleman : by Phoebus . Exit Bob. and Mat. Mus. Master glaunce , glaunce : Signior Prospero . Step. As I haue a soule to be saued , I doe protest ; Pros. That you are a foole . Lo. iu. Cousin will you any Tabacco ? Step. I sir : vpon my saluation . Lo. iu. How now cousin ? Step. I protest , as I am a Gentleman , but no souldier indeede . Pros. No signior , as I remember you seru'd on a great horse , last generall muster . Step. I sir that 's true : cousin may I sweare as I am a souldier , by that ? Lo. iu. Oh yes , that you may . Step. Then as I am a Gentleman , and a souldier , it is diuine Tabacco . Pros. But soft , where 's signior Matheo ? gone ? Mus. No sir , they went in here . Pros. Oh let 's follow them : signior Matheo is gone to salute his mistresse , sirra now thou shalt heare some of his verses , for he neuer comes hither without some shreds of poetrie : Come signior Stephano , Musco . Step. Musco ? where ? is this Musco ? Lo. iu. I , but peace cousin , no words of it at any hand . Step. Not I by this faire heauen , as I haue a soule to be saued , by Phoebus . Pros. Oh rare ! your cousins discourse is simply suted , all in oathes . Lo. iu. I , he lacks nothing but a little light stuffe , to draw them out withall , and he were rarely fitted to the time . Exeunt . ACTVS TERTIVS , SCENA TERTIA. E●ter Thorell● with Cob. Tho. Ha , how many are there , sayest thou ? Cob. Marry sir , your brother , Signior Prosp●r● . Tho. Tut , beside him : what strangers are there man ? Cob. Strangers ? let me see , one , two ; masse I know not well there 's so many . Tho. How ? so many ? Cob. I , there 's some fiue or sixe of them at the most . Tho. A swarme , a swarme , Spight of the Deuill , how they sting my heart ! How long hast thou beene comming hither Cob ? Cob. But a little while sir. Tho. Didst thou come running ? Cob. No sir. Tho. Tut , then I am familiar with thy haste . Ban● to my fortunes : what meant I to marrie ? I that before was rankt in such content , My mind attir'd in smoothe silken peace , Being free master of mine owne free thoughts , And now become a slaue ? what , neuer sigh , Be of good cheare m●n : for thou art a cuckold , 'T is done , 't is done : nay when such flowing store , Plentie it selfe fals in my wiues lappe , The Cor●u-copi● will be mine I know . But Cob , What entertainment had they ? I am sure My sister and my wife would bid them welcome , ha ? Cob. Like ynough : yet I heard not a word of welcome . Tho. No , their lips were seal'd with kisses , and the voice Drown'd in a flood of ioy at their arriuall , Had lost her motion , state and facultie . Cob , which of them was 't that first kist my wife ? ( My sister I should say ) my wife , alas , I feare not her : ha ? who was it sayst thou ? Cob. By my troth sir , will you haue the truth of it ? Tho. Oh I good Cob : I pray thee . Cob. God's my iudge , I saw no body to be kist , vnlesse they would haue kist the post , in the middle of the warehouse ; for there I left them all , at their Tabacco with a poxe . Tho. How ? were they not gone in then e're thou cam'st ? Cob. Oh no sir. Tho. Spite of the Deuill , what do I stay here then ? Cob , follow me . Exit . Tho. Cob. Nay , soft and faire , I haue egges on the spit ; I cannot go yet sir : now am I for some diuers reasons hammering , hammering reuenge : oh for three or foure gallons of vineger , to sharpen my wits : Reuenge , vineger reuenge , russet reuenge ; nay , and hee had not lyne in my house , t' would neuer haue greeu'd me ; but being my guest , one that I le bee sworne , my wife ha's lent him her smocke off her backe , while his owne shirt ha beene at washing : pawnd her neckerchers for cleane bands for him : sold almost all my platters to buy him Tabacco ; and yet to see an ingratitude wretch : strike his host ; well I hope to raise vp an host of furies for 't : here comes M. Doctor . Enter Doctor Clement , Lorenzo sen ▪ Peto . Clem. What 's Signior Thorello gone ? Pet. I sir. Clem. Hart of me , what made him l●aue vs so abruptly How now sirra ; what make you here ? what wold you haue , ha ? Cob. And 't please your worship , I am a poore neighbour of your worships . Clem. A neighbour of mine , knaue ? Cob. I sir , at the signe of the water-tankerd , hard by the greene lattice : I haue p●ide scot and lott● there any time this eighteene yeares . Cl●m . What , at the greene lattice ? Cob. No sir : to the parish : mary I haue seldome scap't scot ▪ free at the lattice . Clem. So : but what busines hath my neighbour ? Cob. And 't like your worship , I am come to craue the peace of your worship . Clem. Of me , knaue ? peace of me , knaue ? did I e're hurt thee ? did I euer threaten thee ? or wrong thee ? ha ? Cob. No god's my comfort , I meane your worships warrant , for one that hath wrong'd me sir : his armes are at too much libertie , I would faine haue them bound to a treatie of peace , and I could by any meanes compasse it . Loren. Why , doest thou goe in danger of thy life for him ? Cob. No sir ; but I goe in danger of my death euery hour● by his meanes ; and I die within a twelue-moneth and a day , I may sweare , by the lawes of the land , that he kil'd me . Clem. How ? how knaue ? sweare he kil'd thee ? what pretext ? what colour hast thou for that ? Cob. Mary sir : both blacke and blew , colour ynough , I warrant you I haue it here to shew your worship . Clem. What is he , that gaue you this sirra ? Cob. A Gentleman in the citie sir. Clem. A Gentleman ? what call you him ? Cob. Signior Bobadilla . Clem. Good : But wherefore did he beate you sirra ? how began the quarrel twixt you ? ha : speake truly knaue , I aduise you . Cob. Marry sir , because I spake against their vagrant Tabacco , as I came by them : for nothing else . Clem. Ha , you speake against Tabacco ? Peto , his name . Pet. What 's your name 〈◊〉 ? Cob. Oliuer C●b , sir set Oli●er Cob , sir. Clem. Tell Oli●er Cob he shall goe to the iayle . Pet. 〈◊〉 Cob , master Doctor sayes you shall go to the iayle . Cob. Oh I beseech your worship for gods loue , deare master Doctor . Clem. Nay gods pretious : and such drunken knaues as you are come to dispute of Tabacco once ; I haue done : away with him . Cob. Oh good master Doctor , sweete Gentleman . Lore . Sweete Oliuer , would I could doe thee any good ; master Doctor let me intreat sir. Clem. What ? a tankard-bearer , a thread-bare rascall , a begger , a slaue that neuer drunke out of better thē pispot mettle in his life , and he to depraue , and abuse the vertue of an herbe , so generally receyu'd in the courts of princes , the chambers of nobles , the bowers of sweete Ladies , the cabbins of souldiers : Peto away with him , by gods passion , I say , goe too . Cob. Deare master Doctor . Loren. Alasse poore Oliuer . Clem. Peto : I : and make him a warrant , he shall not goe , I but feare the knaue . Cob. O diuine Doctor , thankes noble Doctor , most dainty Doctor , delicious Doctor . Exeunt Peto with Cob. Clem. Signior Lorenzo : Gods pitty man , Be merry , be merry , leaue these dumpes . Loren. Troth would I could sir : but enforced mirth ( In my weake iudgement ) h'as no happy birth . The minde , being once a prisoner vnto cares , The more it dreames on ioy , the worse it fares . A smyling looke is to a heauie soule , As a guilt bias , to a leaden bowle , Which ( in it selfe ) appeares most vile , being spent . To no true vse ; but onely for ostent . Clem. Nay but good Signior : heare me a word , heare me a word , your cares are nothing ; they are like my cap , soone put on , and as soone put off . What ? your sonne is old inough , to gouerne himselfe ; let him runne his course , it 's the onely way to make him a stay'd man : if he were an vnthrift , a ruffian , a drunkard or a licentious liuer , then you had reason : you had reason to take care : but being none of these , Gods passion , and I had twise so many cares , as you haue , I 'ld drowne them all in a cup of sacke : come , come , I muse your parcell of a souldier returnes not all this while . Ex●●●t . SCENA QVARTA . Enter Gi●lian● , with Bia●cha . Giul. Well sister , I tell you true : and you 'le finde it so in the ende . Bia. Alasse brother , what would you haue me to doe ? I cannot helpe it ; you see , my brother Pr●spero he brings them in here , they are his friends . Giu. His friends ? his friends ? s'blood they do nothing but haunt him vp and downe like a sorte of vnlucky Sprites , and tempt him to all maner of villany , that can be thought of ; well , by this light , a little thing would make me play the deuill with some of them ; and 't were not more for your husbands sake , then any thing else , I 'ld make the house too hot for them ; they should say and sweare , Hell were broken loose , e're they went : But by gods bread , 't is no bodies fault but yours : for and you had done as you might haue done , they should haue beene damn'd e're they should haue come in , e're a one of them . Bia. God's my life ; did you euer heare the like ? what a strange man is this ? could I keepe out all them thinke you ? I should put my selfe against halfe a dozen men ? should I ? Good faith you 'ld mad the patient'st body in the world , to heare you talke so , without any sense or reason . Enter Matheo with Hesperida , ●●badilla , Stephan● , L●re●zo i● , Pr●sp●r● , M●sco . Hesp. Seruant ( in troth ) you are too prodigall of your wit● treasure ; thus to powre it foorth vpon so meane a subiect , as my worth ? Mat. You say well , you say well . Gi● . Hoyday , heare is stuffe . L● . i● . Oh now stand close : pray God she can get him to read it . Pr●s . Tut , feare not : I warrant thee , he will do it of himselfe with much impudencie . H●s . Seruant , what is th●t same I pray you ? M●t. Mary an El●gi● , an Elegi● , an oddetoy . Gui. I to mocke an Ape with all , Oh I●su . Bi● . Sister , I pray you le ts heare it . Mat. Mistresse I le re●de it if you please . Hes. I pray you doe seruant . G●i . Oh heare 's no foppery . Sblood it freates me to the galle to thinke on it . Exit . Pros. Oh I , it is his condition ▪ peace : we are farely ridd● of him . Mat. Fayth I did it in an h●mor : I know not how it is , b●t please you come neare signior : this gentleman hath i●dgement , he knowes how to cens●re of a ▪ — I pray you ●ir ▪ you can iudge . Step. Not I sir : as I haue a soule to b● saued , as I 〈…〉 . Lo. iu. Nay it s well ; so long as he doth ●ot forsw●●●● himselfe . Bob , Signior you abuse the excell●ncie of your mistress● , and her fayre sister . Fye while you liue ●uoyd this prolixity . Mat. I shall sir : well , Incip●r● dulce . L● . iu. How , Inciper● dulce ? a sweete thing to be a Foole indeede . Pr●s . What , do you take Incipe●● in that sence ? Lo. i● . You do not you ? Sblood this was your villanie to gull him with a mott● . Pros. Oh the Benchers phrase : Pau●a ver●● , 〈…〉 . Mat. Rare creature let me speake without offence , Would God ●y rude woo●ds ●ad the influence : To rule thy thoughts , as 〈◊〉 f●yr● lookes do mine , Then shouldst thou be his prisoner , who is thine . L● . iu. S'hart , this is in Hero and Leander ? Pros. Oh I : peace , we shall haue more of this . Mat. Be not vnkinde and fayre mish●●en st●ffe ▪ Is of beh●●●●ur boysterous and rough : How like you that signior , 〈◊〉 he shakes his head like a bo●tle , to feele and there be any brayne in it . Mat. But obserue the Catastroph● now , And I in dutie will exceede all other . As you in bewtie do excell lo●●s ●●ther . Lo iu. W●ll 〈◊〉 haue him free of the brok●●s , for he vtters nothing but stolne remnant● . Pros. Nay good Critique forbeare . Lo. iu. A pox on him , hang him ●ilching rogue , s●eale from the deade ? its vvorse then sacriledge . Pros. Sister vvh●t haue you heare ? 〈◊〉 I pray you le ts see . Bia. Do you let them go so lightly sister . Hes. ●es ●ayth when they come lightly . Bia. I but if your seruant should heare you , he vvould take it heauely . Hes. No matter he is able to beare . Bia. So are Asses . H●s . so is hee . Pros. Signior Matheo , vvho made these verses ? they are excellent good . Mat. Oh God sir , it s your pleasure to say so sir. Fayth I mad● them 〈◊〉 this morning . Pros. How ex●empo●e ? Mat. I vvould I might be damnd els : aske signior Bo●adill● . He sawe me vvrite them , 〈◊〉 the : ( pox● on it ) the Miter yonder . Mus. Well , and the Pope knew hee curst the Miter it vvere enough to haue him excommunicated ●ll the Ta●erns in the towne . Step. Cosen how do you like this gen●lem●ns vers●● . Lo. iu. Oh admirable , the best that 〈◊〉 I heard . Step. By this fayr●●eauens , they are admirable , The best that euer I heard . Enter Giuliano . Giu. I am vext I can hold neuer a bone o● me s●ill , Sblood I think they meane to build a Tabernacle ●eare , vvell ? Pros. Sister you haue a simple seruant heare , that crownes your bewtie vvith such Encomions and Deuises , you may see what it is to be the mistresse of a vv●t , that can make your perfections so transeparent , that euery bleare eye may looke thorough them , and see him drowned ouer head and eares , in the deepe vvell of desire . Sister Biancha I meruaile you get you not a seruant that can ●ime and do ●rickes too . Giu. Oh monster ? ●mpudence it selfe ; trickes ? Bi● . Trickes , brother ? what trickes ? Hes. Nay , speake I pray you , vvhat trick●s ? Bia. I , neuer spare any body heare : but say , vvhat trickes ? Hes. Passion of my heart ? do trickes ? Pros. Sblood heare 's a trick● vied , and reuied : why you monkies you ? vvhat a cat●er waling do you keepe ? has he not giuen you rymes , and verses , and trickes . Giu. Oh see the Diuell ? Pros. N●y , you lampe of virginitie , that take it in snuffe so : come and cherish this tame poetical ●ury in your seruant , you le be begd else shortly for a concealement : go to , rewarde his muse , you cannot giue him lesse then a shilling in conscience ▪ for the booke he had it out of cost him a te●ton at the least , how now gallants , L●renzo , s●●gnior Bobadill● ? vvhat all sonnes of scilence ? no spirite . Giu. Come you might practise your Ruff●an trickes somewhere else , and not heare I wisse : this is no Tauerne , nor no place for such exploites . Pros. Shart how now . Giu. Nay boy , neuer looke askaunce at me for the matter ; I le tell you o● it by Gods bread ? I , and you and your compan●ons mend your selues when I haue done . Pros. My companions . Gui. I your companions ●ir , so I say ? Sblood I am not affrayed of you nor them ne●ther , you must haue your Poets , & your caueleeres , & your fooles follow you vp and downe the citie , and heare they must come to dominee●e and swagger ? sirha , you Ballad singer , and Sl●ps your fellow there , get you out ; get you out : or ( by the will of God ) I le cut of your eares , goe to . Pros. Sblood stay , le ts see what he dare do : cut of his eares you are an asse , touch any man heare , and by the Lord I le run my rapier to the hilts in thee . Gui. Yea , that would I fayne see , boy . Bia. Oh 〈◊〉 Piso , Math●● murder . Hes. Helpe , helpe , Piso. Lo. iu. Gentlemen , Prospero , forbeare I pray you . B●b . Well sirrah , you Hollofernus : by my hand I will pinck thy flesh full of holes with my rapier for this , I will by this good heauen : nay let him come , let him come , gentlemen by the body of S. George I le not kill him . Piso. Hold , hold forbeare : Gui. You whorson bragging coystryll . Enter Thorello . Tho. Why , how now ? what 's the matter ? what stirre is heare , Whence springs this quarrell , P●●o where is he ? Put vp your weapons , and put of this rage . My wife and sister they are cause of this , What , Pizo ? where is this kna●e . Pizo. Heare sir. Pros. Come , le ts goe : this is one of my brothers auncient humors this ? Steph. I am glad no body was hurt by this auncient humor . Exit Prospero , L●renzoi● . Musco , St●ph●●● , B●●adillo , Matheo , Tho. Why how now brother , who enforst this braule . Gui. A sorte of lewd rakehelles , that care neither for God nor the Diuell , And they must come heare to read Ballads and Rogery ' and Trash , I le marre the knot of them ere I sleepe perhaps : especially signior Pit●agorus , he that 's al manner of shapes : and Songs and sonne●s , his fellow there . Hes. Brother indeede you are to violent , To sudden in your courses , and you know My brother Prosperus temper will not beare Any reproofe , chiefely in such a presence , Where euery slight disgrace he should receiue , Would wound him in opinion and respect . Gu. Respect ? what talke you of respect mongst such As had neyther sparke of manhood nor good manners , By God I am ashamed to heare you● respect ? Exit . Hes. Yes there was one a ciuil● gentleman , And very worthely demeand himselfe . Tho. Oh that was some loue of yours , sister . H●s . A loue of mine ? infayth I would he were No others loue but mine . Bia. Indeede he seemd to be a gentleman of an exceeding fayre disposition , and of very excellent good 〈◊〉 . Exit He●p●●●d● , Bi●●cha . Tho. Her loue , by Iesu : my wises minion , Fayre disposition ? excellent good partes ? S'hart , these phr●ses are intollerable , Good partes ? how should she know his partes ? well ▪ well ▪ It is too playne , ●oo cleare : Piz● ▪ come hether . What are they gone ? Pi. I sir they went in . Tho. Are any of the gallants within ? Pi. No ●ir they are all gone . Tho. Art thou sure o● it ? Pi. I sir I can assure you . Tho. Pizo what gentleman was that they prays'd so ? Pizo. One they call him signior Lorenzo , a fayre young gentleman sir. Tho. I , I thought so : my minde gaue me as much : Sblood I le be hangd if they h●●e not hid him in the house , Some where , I le goe s●arch , Piz● go with me , Be true to me and thou shalt finde me bo●ntifull . Exe●●t . SCENA QVINTA . Enter CoB , to him Tib. Cob. What Tib , Tib , I say . Tib. How now , wh●t cuckold is that knock●● so hard ? Oh husband i st you , what 's the n●wes ? C●b . Nay you h●ue stonnd me I fayth ? you hue giuen me a knocke on the forehead , will sticke by me : cuckold ? Swoundes cuckolde ? Tib. Away you foole did I know it vvas you that knockt , Come , come , you may call me 〈◊〉 bad vvhen you list . Cob. May I ? swoundes Tib you are a whore : Tib. S'hart you lie in your throte . Cob. How the lye ? and in my throte too ? do you long to be stabd , ha ? Tib. Why you are no souldier ? C●b . Masse that 's true , vvhen vvas Bobadilla heare ? that Rog●e , th●● 〈◊〉 , that fencing ▪ B●rgullian ? I le tickle him I faith . Ti● . Why vvhat 's the matter ? Cob. Oh he hath basted me rarely , sumptiously : but I haue it heare vvill s●use him , oh the doctor , the honestest old Troian in all Italy , I do honour the very ●lea of his dog : a plague on him he 〈◊〉 me once in a villanous filthy feare : marry it vanisht away 〈…〉 smook● of To●●cco : but I vvas smookt soundly first , I thanke the Diuell , and his good Angell my guest : vvell vvife : or Tib ( vvhich you vvill ) get you in , and locke the doore I charge you , let no body into you : not Bobbadilla himselfe ; nor the di●ell in his likenesse ; you are a vvoman ; you haue flesh and blood enough in you ; therefore be not tempted ; keepe the doore shut vpon all cummers . Tib. I vv●rrant you there shall no body enter heare vvithout my consent . C●● . Nor with your consent sweete Tib and so I leaue you . Tib. It s more then you know , vvhether you leaue me so . Cob. How ? Tib. Why sweete . Cob. Tut 〈…〉 soure , thou art a flower , Keepe close thy doore , I aske no more . Exeunt . SCENA SEXTA . Enter Lorenzoiu . Pr●spero , Stephano , Musco . Lo● . iu. Well Musco performe this businesse happily , And thou makest a conquest of my loue foreuer , Pros. I fayth now let thy spirites put on their best habit , B●t at any hand remember thy message to my brother . For there 's no other meanes to start him ? M●s. I wa●rant you sir , ●●are nothing I haue a nimble soule that hath wakt all my imaginatiue forces by this time , and put then ▪ in true motion : vvhat you haue poss●st me withall ? ●le discharge it amply sir. Make no question . Exit M●sc● . Pros. That 's vvell sayd Musco : fayth sirha how dost thou , aproue my vvit in this deuise ? L● . iu. Troth vvell , howsoeuer ? but excellent if it take . Pros. Take man : vvhy it cannot chuse ▪ but take ▪ if the circumstances miscarry not , but tell me zealo●sly : dost tho● affect my sister Hesperida as thou pretendest ? Lo. iu. Prospero by Iesu. Pros. Come do not pro●est I beleeue thee : I fayth she is ● virgine of good ●rnament , and much modestie , vn esse I conc●iud very w●rthely o● her , thou shouldest not haue her . Lo. iu. Nay I thinke it a question whether I shall ha●● her for all that . Pros. Sblood thou shal haue her , by this light thou shal● ? Lo. iu. Nay do not sweare . Pros. By S. Marke thou shalt haue her : I le go fetch her presently , poynt but where to meete , and by this hand I le bring her ? Lo. iu ▪ Hold , hold , what all pollicie dead ? no preuention of mischiefes stirring . Pros. Why , by what shall I sweare by ? thou shalt haue her by my soule . Lo. iu. I pray the haue patience I am satisfied : Prosp●ro omit no off●red occasion , that may make my desires compleate I beseech thee . Pros. I warrant thee . Exeunt . ACTVS QVAR●VS , SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo senior , Peto , ●●●ting M●sco . Peto . Was your man a souldier sir. Lo. I a knaue I tooke him vp begging vpon the way , This morning as I was cumming to the citie , Oh? h●are he is ; come on , you make fayre speede : Why ? whereon Gods name haue you beene so long ? Mus. Mary ( Gods my co●●ort ) where I thought I should haue had little comfort of your worships seruice : Lo. How so ? Mus. Oh God sir ? your cumming to the citie , & your entertaynement of men , and your sending me to watch ; indeede , all the circumstances are as open to ●our sonne as to your selfe . Lo. How should that be ? vnlesse that villaine M●s●o Haue told him of the letter , and discouered All that I strictly chargd him to conceale ? t is soe . Mus. I fayth you haue hit it : t is so indeede . Lo. But how should he know thee to be my man. Mus. Nay , ●ir , I cannot tell ; vnlesse it were by the blacke arte ? is not your sonne a scholler sir ? Lo. Yes ; but I hope his soule is not allied To such a diuelish practise : if it were , I had iust cause to weepe my part in him , And curse the time of his creation . But where didst thou finde them Po●t●nsio ? Mus. N●y sir , rather you should aske where the found me ? for I le be sworne I was going along in the streete , thinking nothing , whe● ( of a suddayne ) one calles , Sig●ior Lorenzo● man : another , he cries souldier : and thus halfe a dosen of them , till they had go ▪ me within doores , where I no sooner came ▪ but out flies their rapiers and all bent agaynst my brest , they swore some two or three hundreth oathes , and all to tell me I was but a dead man , if I did not confesse where you were , and how I was imployed , and about what , which when they could not get out of me : ( as Gods my iudge , they should haue kild me first ) they lockt me vp into a roome in the toppe of a house , where by great miracle ( hauing a light hart ) I slidde downe by a bottome of packthread into the streete , and so scapt : but ma●ster , thus much I can assure you , for I heard it while I 〈◊〉 lockt vp : there were a great many merchants and rich citizens wiues with them at a banquet , and your sonne Signior Lorenzo ▪ has poynted one of them to meete anone at one Cobs house , a waterbearers ? that dwelles by the wall : now there you shall be sure to take him : for fayle he will not . L● . Nor will I fayle to breake this match , I doubt not ; Well : go thou along with maister doctors man , And stay there for me ? at one C●bs house sayst thou . Exit . Mus. I sir , there you shall haue him : when can you tell ? much wench , or much sonne : sblood when he has stayd there three or foure houres , trauelling with the expectation of somewhat ; and at the length be deliuered of nothing : oh the sport that I should thē take to look on him if I durst but now I meane to appeare no more afore him in this shape : I haue another tricke to act yet ? oh that I were so happy , as to light vpon an ounce now of this doctors clarke : God saue you 〈◊〉 , Peto . I thanke you good sir. Mus. I haue made you stay somewhat long sir. Peto . Not a w●it sir , I pray you what sir do you meane : you haue beene lately in the warres sir it seemes . Mus. I Marry haue I sir. Peto . Troth sir , I would be glad to bestow a pot●le of wine of you if it please you to accept it . Mus. Oh Lord sir. Peto . But to heare the manner of you seruises , and your deuises in the warres , they say they be very strange , and not like those a man reades in the Romane histories . Mus. Oh God no sir , why at any time when it please you , I shall be ready to descourse to you what I know : and more to somewhat . Peto . No better time then now sir , wee le goe to the Meer●m●ide there we shall haue a cuppe of neate wine , I pray you sir let me request you . Mus. I le follow you sir , he is mine owne I fayth . Exeunt . E●ter Babadillo , Lorenzo iu , Matheo , Step●ano . Mat Signi●r did you euer see the like cloune of him , where we vvere to day● : signior Prosperos brother ? I thinke the vvh●le ●arth cannot shew his like by Iesu. L● . We vvere now speaking of him , signior Bobadill● telles me he is fallen foule of you two . Mat. Oh I sir , he threatned me with the bastinado . Bo. I but I think I taught you atrick this morning for that . You shall kill him without a●l question : if you be so minded ▪ Mat. Indeede it is a most excellent tricke . Bo. Oh you do not giue spirit enough to your motion , you are too dull , too tardie : oh it must be done like lightning , hay ? Mat. Oh rare . Bob. Tut t is nothing and 't be not done in a — Lo. iu. Signior did you neuer play with any of our mais●ers here . Mat. Oh good sir. B●b . Nay for a more instance of their preposterous humor , there came three or ●oure of them to me , at a ge●tlemans house , where it was my chance to bee resident at that time , to intre●te my presence at their schole● , and withall so much importund me , that ( I protest to you as I am a gentleman ) I was ashamd of their rude demeanor out of all measure : vvell , I tolde them that to come to a publique schoole they should pardon me , it was opposite to my humor but if so they vvould attend me at my lodging , I protested to do them what right or fauour I could , as I vvas a gentleman ▪ &c. Lo. ●u . So sir , then you tried th●ir skill . Bob. Alasse soone tried : you shall heare sir , ●ithin two or three dayes after , they came , and by Iesu go●● signior beleeue me , I grac't them●exceedingly , shewd them some ●wo or three trick●s of preuention , hath got them sinc● admirable credit , they cannot denie this ; and yet now they 〈…〉 , and why ? because I am excellent , and for no other 〈…〉 earth . Lo. iu. This is strange and vile as 〈◊〉 I h●ard . Bob. I will tell you sir vpon my first comming to the ci●ie , they assaulted me some three , foure , fiue , six , of them together as I haue walkt alone , in diuers places of the citie ; as vpon ●he exchange , at my lodging ▪ and at my ordinarie : where I haue driuen them afore me the whole length of a streete , in the open view of all our gallan●s , pittying to hurt them beleeue me ; yet all this lenety will not depresse their spleane : they will be doing with the Pismier , ray●i●g a hi●l , a man may spurne abroade with his foote at pleasure : by my soule I could haue sla●ne them all , but I delight not in murder : I am loth to ●ea●e any other but a bastinado for them , and yet I ho●ld it good pollicie not to goe disarmd , for though I be skilfull , ● may be suppressd with multitudes . Lo. iu ▪ I by Iesu may you sir and ( in my conceite ) our whol● nation should sustayne the losse by it , if it were so . ●ob . Alasse no : what 's a peculier man , to a nation ? not seene . Lo iu. I but your skill sir. Bob. Indeede ●hat might be some losse , but who respects it ? I will tel you Signior ( in priuate ) I am a gentleman , and liue here obscure , and to my selfe : but were I known to the Duke ( obserue me ) I would vndertake ( vpon my heade and life ) for the p●blique benefit of the state , not onely to spare the intire liues of his subiects ingenerall , but to saue the one halfe : nay there partes of his y●erely charges , in houlding warres generally agaynst all his enemies ? and how will I do it thinke you ? Lo ▪ iu. Nay I know not , nor can I conceiue . Bo. Marry thus , I would select 19 more to my selfe , throughout the land , gentlemē the● should be of good spirit ; strong & able constitutiō , I would chuse thē by an instinct , a trick that I haue : & I would teach these 19. the special tricks , as your P●nt● , ●our Reuerso , your Stoccato , your Imbroccato , your Pass●do , your Montaunto , till they could all play very neare or altogether as well as my selfe ▪ this done ; say the enemie were forty thousand strong : we twenty wold come into the field the tenth of March , or ther abouts ; & would challendge twenty of the enemie ? they could not in there honor refuse the combat : wel , we would kil them : challenge twentie more , kill then ; twentie more , kill then ; twentie more , kill them too ; and thus would we kill euery man , his twentie a day , that 's twentie score ; twentie score , that 's two hundreth ; two hundreth a day , fiue dayes a thousand : fortie thousand ; fortie times fiue , fiue times fortie , two hundreth dayes killes them all , by computation , and this will I venture my life to performe : prouided there be no treason practised vpon vs. Lo. iu. Why are you so sure of your hand at all times ? Bob. Tut , neuer mistrust vpon my soule . Lo. iu. Masse I would not stand in signior G●uliano state , then ; And you meete him , for the wealth of Florence . Bob. Why signior , by Iesu if hee were heare now : I would not draw my w●apon on him , let this gentleman doe his mind but I wil bastin●do him ( by heauen ) & euer I meete him . Mat. Fayth and I le haue a fling 〈◊〉 him . Enter Giuliano and goes o●t agayne . Lo. iu. Looke yo●der he goes I thinke . Gui. Sblood vvhat lucke haue I , I cannot meete vvith thes● br●gging rascalls ▪ Bo● . It● not h● : is it ? Lo. iu. Yes fayth it is he ? Mat. I le be hangd then if that vvere he . Lo. iu. Befor● God it vvas he : you make me sweare . Step. Vpon my saluation it vvas h●● . Bob. Well had I thought it had beene he : he could not haue gone so , but I cannot be induc'd to beleeue it vvas he yet . Enter Giulliano . Giu. Oh gallant haue I found you ? draw to your tooles , draw , or by Gods vvill I le thresh you . Bob. Signior heare me ? Gui. Draw your vveapons then : Bob. Signior , I n●uer thought it till now : body of S. George , I haue a vvarrant of the peace serued on me euen now , as I came along by a vvaterbearer , this gentleman saw it , signior Mat●●● . Gi● . The peace ▪ Sblood , you vvill not draw ? Math●o runnes away . He b●ates him and disarm●s him . Lo. iu. Hold signior hold , vnder thy fauour forbeare . Giu. Prate agayne as you like this you vvhoreson cowardly rascall , you le controule the poynt you ? your consort hee is gone ? had he stayd he had shard vvith yow infayth . Exit Giulliano . Bob. Well gentlemen beare vvitnesse I vvas bound to the peace , by Iesu. Lo. iu. Why and though you vvere sir , the lawe alowes you to defend your selfe ; that 's but a poore excuse . Bob. I cannot t●ll ; I neuer sus●●yned the like disgrace ( by heauen ) sure I vvas strooke vvith a Plannet then , for I had no power to touch my vve●pon . Exit . Lo. iu. I like inough I haue heard of many that haue beene beaten vnder a plannet ; goe get you to the Surgions , sblood and these be your tricks , your passados , & your Mountauntos ilenone of them : oh God that this age should bring foorth s●ch creat●res ? come cosen . Step. Masse I le haue this cloke . Lo. ●u . Gods vvill : it s Giullianos . Step. Nay but t is mine now , another might haue tan● it vp aswell as I , I le vv●●●e it so I vvill . Lo. iu. How and he see it , hee le ●h●llen●e it ass●ur● your selfe . Step. I but he shall not haue it ▪ I le s●y I bo●ght it . Lo. iu. Aduise you cosen , ta●e heede he giue not you as much . Exe●●t . Enter Thorello , Pr●spero ▪ Bianch● Hesperida . Tho. Now trust me Pr●s●●ro you were much to blame , T' incense your brother and disturbe the peace , Of my poor● house , for there be s●ntinelles , That ●uery minute vvatch to giue alarames , Of ciuill vvarre , vvithout adiection , Of your assistance and occasion . Pros. No harme done brother I vvarrant you : since there is no harme done , anger costs a man nothing : and a tall man is neuer his owne man til he be angry , to keep his valure in obscuritie : is to keepe himselfe as it were in a cloke-bag : vvhat 's a musition vnlesse he play ? what 's a tall man vnlesse he fight ? for indeede all this my brother stands vpon absolutely , and that made me fall in vvith him so resolutely . Bia. I but vvhat harme might haue come of it ? Pros. Might ? so might the good warme cloathes your husband vveares be poysond for any thing he knowes , or the vvholesome vvine he drunke euen now at the table . Tho. Now God forbid : O me ? now I remember , My vvife drunke to me last ; and changd the cuppe , And bad me vvare this cursed sute to day , See , if God suffer murder vndiscouered ? I feele me ill ; giue me some Mithredate , Some Mithredate and oyle ; good sister fetch me , O , I am sicke at hart : I burne , I burne ; If you will saue my life goe fetch it mee . Pr●s . Oh strange humor my very breath hath poysond him . Hes. Good brother be content , what do you meane , The strength of these extreame conceites will kill you ? Bi● . Be●hrew your hart blood , brother Prospero , For putting such a toy into his head . Pros. Is a fit similie , a toy ? will he be poysond with a similie ▪ Broth●● Thor●ll● , what a strange and vaine imagination is this ? For shame be wiser , of my soule there 's no such matter . T●o . Am I not sicke ? how am I then not poysond ? Am I not poysond ? how am I then so sicke ? Bia. If you be sicke , your owne thoughts make you sicke . Pr●s . His iealoucie is the poyson he hath taken . Enter Musco like the doctors man. Mus. Signior Thorello my m●●ster doctor Cleme●t salutes you , and de●ires to speake with you , with all speede possible . Tho. No time but now ? well , I le waite vpon his worship , Pizo , Cob , I le seeke them out , and set them sentinell●● till I returne . Pizo , Cob , Pizo. Exit . Pros. Musco , this is rare , but how gotst thou this apparrel of the doctors man. Mus. Marry sir. My youth would needes bestow the wine of me to heare some martiall discourse ; where I so marsha●d him , that I made him monstrous drunke , & because too much heate vvas the cause of his distemper , I stript him starke naked as he lay along a sleepe , and borrowed his sewt to deliuer this counterfeit message in , leauing a rustie armoure , and an olde browne bill to watch him ; till my returne : which shall be when I haue paund his apparrell , and spent the moni● perhappes . Pros. Well thou art a madde knaue Musco , his absence will be a good subiect for more mirth : I pray the returne to thy young maister Lorenzo , and will him to meete me and Hesperida at the Friery presently : for here tell him the house is so sturde with iealousie , that there is no roome for loue to stand vpright in : but I le vse such meanes she shall come thether , and that I thinke will meete best with his desires : Hye thee good Musco . Mus. I goe sir. Exit . Enter Thorello to him Pizo ▪ Tho. Ho Pizo , Cob , where are these villaines troe ? Oh , art thou there ? Pizo harke thee here : Marke what I say to thee , I must goe foorth ; Be carefull of thy promise , keepe good watch , Note euery gallant and obserue him well , That enters in my absence to thy mistrisse ; If she would shew him roomes , the ieast is stale , Follow them Pizo or els hang on him , And let him not go after , marke their lookes ? Note if she offer but to see his band , Or any other amorous toy about him , But prayse his legge , or foote , or if she say , The day is hotte , and bid him feele her hand , How hot it is , oh that 's a monstrous thing : Note me all this , sweete Pizo ; marke their sighes , And if they do but vvisper breake them off , I le beare thee out in it : vvilt thou do this ? Wilt thou be true sweete Pizo ? Pi. Most true sir. Tho. Thankes gentle Pizo : vvhere is Cob ? now : Cob ? Exit Thorello Bia. Hee s euer calling for Cob , I vvonder how hee imployes Cob soe . Pros. Indeede sister to aske how he imployes Cob , is a necessary question for you that are his vvife , and a thing not very easie for you to be satisfied in : but this I le assure you Cobs wife is an excellent baud indeede : and oftentimes your husband hauntes her house , marry to vvhat end I cannot altogether accuse him , imagine you vvhat you thinke conuenient : but I haue knowne fayre hides haue foule hartes eare now , I can tell you . Bia. Neuer sayd you truer then that brother ? Pizo fetch your cloke , and goe vvith me , I le after him presently : I vvould to Christ I could take there I fayth . Exeunt Pizo and Biancha . Pros. So let them goe : this may make sport anone , now my fay●e sister Hesperida : ah that you knew how happy a ting it vv●re to be fayre and bewtifull ? Hes. That toucheth not me brother . Pros. That 's true : that 's euen the fault of it , for indeede bewtie stands a woman in no stead , vnles it procure her touching : but sister vvhether it touch you or noe , it touches your bewties , and I am sure they will abide the touch , and they doe not a plague of al ceruse say I , and it touches me to inpart , though not in thee . Well , there 's a deare and respected friend of mine sister , stands very strongly affected towardes you , and hath vowed to inflame vvhole bonefires of zeale in his hart , in honor of your perfections , I haue already engaged my promise to bring you where you shal heare him conferme much more then I am able to lay downe for him : Signior Lorenzo is the man : vvhat say you sister shall I intreate so much fauour of you for my friend , is too direct and attend you to his meeting ? vpon my soule he loues you extreamely , approue it sweete Hesperida vvill you ? Hes. Hayth I had very little confidence in mine owne costancie if I durst not meete a man : but brother Prospero this motion of your sauours of an olde knight aduenturers seruant , me thinkes . Pros. What 's that sister . Hes. Marry of the squire . Pros. No matter Hesperida if it did , I vvould ve such an one for my friend , but say , will you goe ? Hes. Brother I will , and blesse my happy starres . Enter Clement and Thorello . Clem. Why vvhat villanie is this ? my man gone on a false message , and runne away vvhen he has done , vvhy vvhat trick is there in it trow ? 1.2.3.4 . and 5. Tho. How : is my wife gone foorth , vvhere is she sister ? Hes. Shee s gone abrode vvith Pizo. Tho. Abrode vvith Pizo ? oh that villaine dors me . He hath discouered all vnto my vvife , Beast that I vvas to trust him : vvhither vvent she ? Hes. I know not sir. Pros. I le tell you brother vvhither I suspect shee s gone . Tho. Whither for gods sake ? Pros. To Cobs house I beleeue : but keepe my counsayle . Tho. I vvill , I vvill , to Cobs house ? doth she haunt Cobs , Shee s gone a purpose now to cuckold me , With that lewd rascall , vvho to vvinne her fauour , Hath told her all . Clem. But did you mistresse see my man bring him a message . Pros. That vve did maister doctor . Clem. And vvhither vvent the knaue ? Pros. To the Tauerne I thinke sir. C●●m . What did Thorello giue him any thing to spend for the message he brought him ? if he did I should commend my mans vvit exceedingly if he vvould make himselfe drunke , vvith the ioy of it , farewell Lady , keepe good rule you two : I beseech you now : by Gods marry my man makes mee laugh . Exit . Pros. What a madde Doctor is this ? come sister le ts away . Exeunt . Enter Matheo and Bobadillo . Mat. I vvonder signior vvhat they vvill say of my going away : ha ? Bob. Why , what should they say ? but as of a discreet gentleman . Quick , wary , respectfull of natures , Fayre liniamentes , and that 's all . Mat. Why so , but what can they say of your beating ? Bob ▪ A rude part , a touch with soft wood , a kinde of grosse batterie vsed , layd on strongly : borne most paciently , and that 's all . Mat. I but would any man haue offered it in Venice ? Bob. T●ut I assure you no : you shall haue there your Nobilis , your Gentelezza , come in brauely vpon your reuerse , stand you close , stand you ferme , stand you fayre , saue your retricato with his left legge , come to the assaulto with the right , thrust with braue steele , defie your base wood . But wherefore do I awake this remembrance ? I was bewitcht by Iesu : but I will be reuengd . Mat. Do you heare i st not best to get a warrant and haue him arested , and brought before doctor Clement . Bob. It were not amisse would we had it . Enter Musco . Mat. Why here comes his man , le ts speake to him . Bob. Agreed , do you speake . Mat. God saue you sir. Mus. With all my hart sir ? Mat. Sir there is one Giulliano hath abusd this gentleman and me , and we determine to make our amendes by law , now if you would do vs the fauour to procure vs a warrant for his arest of your maister , you shall be well considered I assure , I fayth sir. Mus. Sir you know my seruice is my liuing , such fauours 〈◊〉 these gotten of my maister is his onely preferment , and therefore you must consider me , as I may make benefit of my place . Mat. How is that ? Mus. Fayth sir , the thing is extraordinarie , and the gentleman may be o● great accompt : ye● be what he will , if you will lay me downe fiue crownes in my hand , you shall haue it , othe●wise no● . M●t. H●w shall we do signio● ? you haue no monie . Bob ▪ N●t a cr●s●e by Iesu. M●t. N●r I 〈◊〉 God but two pence : left of my tw● shi●l●ngs in the mo●n●ng for vvine and 〈◊〉 let 's giue him som● p●●ne . B●b . P●wn● ? we haue none to the value of his demaunde . Mat. Oh Lo●d , ●an , ●le ●awne this iewell in my ●are , and you may pawne your silke sto●kins , and pull vp your bootes , they will neare be mi●t . Bob. Well and there be no remedie : I le step aside and put them of . Ma● . Doe you heare sir , we haue no store of monie at this time , but you shall haue good pawnes , looke you sir , this Iewell , and this gentlemans silke stockins , because we would haue it di●patcht ere we went to our chambers . Mus. I am content sir , I will get you the warrant presently what 's his name say ●ou ( Giulliano . ) Ma● . I , I , Giulliano . Mus. What manner of man is he ? Mat. A tall bigge man sir , he goes in a cloake most commonly of silke rus●et : layd about with russet lace . Mus. Ti● very good sir. Mat. Here sir , here 's my iewell ? Bob. And heare are stockins . Mus. Well gentlemen I le procure this vvaarrant presently ▪ and appoynt you a varlet of the citie to s●rue it , if you le be vpon the Realto anone , the varlet shall meete you there . Mat. Very good sir I vvish no better . Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo . Mus. This is rar● , now vvill I goe pawne this cloake of the doctors m●ns at the brokers for a varlets sute , and be the varlet my selfe , and get eyther more pawnes , or more money of Giulliano for my arrest . Exit . ACTVS QVINTVS . SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo seni●r . Lo. se. Oh heare it is , I am glad I haue found it now , Ho ? vvho is vvithin hear● ? Enter Tib. Tib. I am within sir , what 's your pleasure ? Lo. se. To know vvho is vvithin besides your selfe . Tib. Why sir , you are no constable I hope ? Lo. se. O feare you the constable ? then I doubt not ▪ You haue some guests within deserue that feare , I le fetch him straight . Tib. A Gods name sir. Lo. se. Go to , tell me is not the young Lorenzo here ? Tib. Young Lorenzo , I saw none such sir , of mine honestie . Lo. se. Go to , your honestie flies too lightly from you : There 's no way but fetch the constable . Tib. The constable , the man is mad I think . Claps t● the d●●re . Enter Pizo , and Biancha ▪ Pizo. Ho , vvho keepes house here ? Lo. se. Oh , this is the female copese●mate of my sonne . Now shall I meete him straight . Bia. Knocke Pizo pray thee . Pi. Ho good vvife . Tib. Why vvhat 's the matter vvith you . Enter Tib. Bia. Why vvoman , grieues it you to ope your door● ? Belike you get something to keepe it shut . Tib. What meane these questions pray 〈◊〉 Bia. So strange you make it ? is not Thorello my tryed husband here . Lo. se. Her husband ? Tib. I hope he needes not to be tryed here . Bia. No dame : he hoth it not ●or neede but pleasure . Tib. Neyther for neede nor pleasure is he here . Lo. se. This is but a deuise to balke me vvith al ; Soft , whoe 's this ? Enter Thorello . Bia. Oh sir , haue I fore-stald your honest market ? Found your close walkes ? you stand amazd now , do you ? I fayth ( I am glad ) I haue smokt you yet at las● ; What 's your iewell trow ? In : come le ts see her ; Fetch foorth your huswife , dame ; if she be fayrer In any honest iudgement then my selfe , I le be content vvith it : but she is chaunge , She feedes you fat ; she soothes your appetite , And you are well : your vvife an honest vvoman , Is meate twise sod to you sir ; A you trecher . Lo. se. She cannot counterfeit this palpably . Tho. Out on thee more then strumpets impudencie , Stealst thou thus to thy hauntes ? and haue I taken , Thy baud , and thee , and thy companion ? This hoary headed letcher , this olde goate Close at your villanie , and wouldst thou scuse it , With this stale harlots iest , accusing me ? O ould incontinent , dost thou not shame , When all thy powers inchastitie is spent , To haue a minde so hot ? and to entise And feede the intisements of a lustfull woman ? Bia. Out I defie thee I , desembling wretch : Tho. Defie me strumpet ? aske thy paunder here ▪ Can he denie it ? or that wicked elder . Lo. sen. Why heare you signior ? Tho. Tut , tut , neuer speake , Thy guiltie conscience will discouer thee : Lo. se. What l●nacie is this that haunts this man ? Enter Giulliano . Giu. Oh sister did you see my cloake ? Bia. Not I , I see none . Giu. Gods life I haue lost it then , saw you Hesperida ? Tho. Hesperida ? is she not at home Giu. No she is gone abroade , and no body can tell me of it at home . Exit . Th● . Oh he●uen , ? abroade ? what light ? a harlot too ? Why ? why ? harke you , hath she ? hath she not a brother ? A brothers house to keepe ? to looke vn●o ? But she must fling abroade , my wife hath spoyld her , She takes right after her , she does , she does , Well you goody b●u● and — Enter Cob. That make your husband such a hoddy dod● ; And you young apple squire , and olde cuckold m●ker , I le haue you euery one before the Doctor , Nay you shall answere it I chardge you goe . Lo. se M●rry with ●ll my h●rt , I le goe ●●●lingly : how haue I vvrongd my selfe in co●ming here . Bi. G● with thee ? I le go with thee to thy sh●me ▪ I warrant thee . Cob. W●y vvhat 's the matter ? vvhat 's here to doe ? Tho. What Cob art thou here ? oh I am abusd , And in thy house , vvas neuer man so vvrongd . Cob. Slid in my house ? vvho vvrongd you in my house ? Tho. Marry young lu●t in olde , and olde in young here , Thy wife 's their baud , here haue I taken them . Cob. Doe you here ? did I not charge you keepe your do●es shut here , and do you let them lieopen for all cōmers , do you scratch . Lo. se. Friend ha●e patience if she haue done wrong in this let her answere it afore the M●gistrate . Cob. I , come , you sha●l goe afore the Do●t●r . Tib. Nay , I will go , I le see and you may be aloud to beate your poore wife thus at euery cucko●dly knaues pleasure , the Diuell and the Pox t●ke you all for me : vvhy doe you not goe now . Th● . A bitter queane , come wee le haue you tamd . Exeunt Enter Musco alone . Mus. Well of all my disguises yet now am I most like my selfe beeing in this va●lets suit , a man of my presen● profession neuer counterfeites till he lay holde vpon a debtor , and sayes he rests him , for then he bringes him to al manner of vnrest ; A kinde of little kings vve are , bearing the diminitiue of a mace made like a young Hartechocke that alwayes car●ies Pepper and salte in it selfe , well I know not what danger I vnder go by this exploi●e , pray God I come vvell of . Enter Bobadilla and Matheo . Mat. See I thinke yonder is the varlet . Bob. Le ts go inquest of him . Mat. God saue you friend , are not you here by the appoyntment of doctor Clemants man. Mus. Yes and please you sir , he told me two gentlemen had wild him to procure an arest vpon one signior Giulliano by a vvarrant from his maister , vvhich I haue about me . Mat. It is honestly done of you both , and see where hee coms you must arest , vppon him for Gods sake before hee beware . Enter S●ephano . Bob. Beare backe Matheo ? Mus. Signior Giulliano ▪ I arest you sir in the Dukes name . Step. Signior Giulli●●o ? am I signior Giulliano ? I am one signior Stephano I tell you , and you do not vvell by Gods slid to arest me , I tell you truely ; I am not in your maisters bookes , I would you should vvell know I : and a plague of God on you for making me afrayd thus . Mus. Why , how are you deceiued gentlemen ? Bob. He weares such a cloake , and that deceiued vs , But see here a coms , officer , this is he . Enter Giulliano . Giu. Why how now signior gull : are you a turnd flincher of late ▪ come deliuer my cloake . Step. Your cloake sir ? I bought it euen now in the market . Mus Sign●or Giulliano I must arest you sir ▪ Giu. Arrest me sir , at whose suite ? Mus. At these two gentlemens . Giu. I obey thee varlet ; but for these villianes — Mus. Keepe the peace I charge you sir , in the Dukes name Sir. Giu. What 's the matter varlet ? Mus. You must goe before maister doctor Clement sir , to answere what these gentlemen will obiect agaynst you , harke you sir , I will vse you kindely . Mat. Wee le be euen with you sir , come signior Bobadilla ▪ wee le goe before and prepare the doctor : varlet looke to hi● . E●eunt Bobadilla and Matheo . Bob. The varlet is a tall man by Iesu. Giu. Away you rascalles , Signior I shall haue my cloake . St●p . Your cloake : I say once agayne I bought it , and I le keepe it . Giu. You will keepe ●t ? St●p . I , that I will. Giu. Verlet stay , here 's thy fee arrest him . Mus. Signior Step●ano I arrest you . Step. Arrest me ? there take your cloake : I le none of it . Giu. Nay that shal● not serue your turne , varlet , bring him away , I le go● with thee now to the doctors , and carry him along . Step. Why is not here your cloake ? what would you haue ? Giu. I care not for th●t . Mus. I pray yo● sir. Giu. Neuer talke of it ; I will haue him answere it . Mus. Well sir then I le leaue you , I le take this gentlemans woorde for his appearance , as I haue done yours . Giu. Tut I le haue no woordes taken , bring him along to answere it . Mus. Good sir I pitie the gentlemans case , here 's your monie agayne . Giu. Gods br●ad , tell not me of my monie , bring him away I say . Mus. I warrant you , he will goe with you of himselfe . Giu. Yet more adoe ? Mus. I haue made a fayre mashe of it . Step. Must I goe ? Exeunt . Enter doctor Clement , Thorello , Lorenzo , se. Bianc●a , Pizo , Tib , a seruant or two of the Doctors . Clem. Nay but stay , stay giue me leaue ; my chayre sirha ? you signior Lorenzo say you vvent thether to meete your sonne . Lo. se. I sir. Clem. But vvho directed you thether ? Lo. se. That did my man sir ? Clem. Where is hee ? Lo. se. Nay I know not now , I left him vvith your clarke , And appoynted him to stay here for me . Clem. About vvhat time vvas this ? Lo. s● ▪ Marry betweene one and two as I take it . Clem. So , what time came my man with the message to you Signior Thorello ? Tho. After two sir. Clem. Very good , but Lady how that you were at Cobs : ha ? Bia. And please you sir , I le tell you : my brother Pr●sper● tolde me that Cobs house vvas a suspected place . Clem. So it appeares me thinkes ; but on , Bia. And that my husband vsed thether dayly ; Clem. No matter , so he vse himselfe vvell . Bia. True sir , but you know vvhat growes by such haunts oftentimes . Clem. I , ranke fruites of a iealous brayne Lady : but did you finde your husband there in that case , as you suspected . Tho. I found her there sir. Clem. Did you so ? that alters the case ; who ga●e you knowledge of your wi●es beeing there ▪ Tho. Marry that did my brother Prospero . Clem. How Prospero , first tell her , then tell you after ? vvhere is Prospero . Th● . Gone vvith my sister sir , I know not vvhither . Clem. Why this is a meare tricke , a deuise ; you are gulled in this most grosly : alasse poore vvench vvert thou beaten for this , how now ●irha vvhat 's the matter ? Enter one of the Do. men . Ser. Sir there 's a gentleman in the court vvithout desires to speake vvith your vvorship . Clem. A gentleman ? vvhat 's he ? Ser. A Souldier , sir , he sayeth ▪ Clem. A Souldier ? fetch me my armour , my sworde , quickly a souldier speake vvith me , vvhy vvhen knaues , — come on , come on , hold my cap there , so ; giue me my gorget , my sword stand by ● vvill end your matters anone ; let the souldier enter , now sir vvhat haue you to say to me ? E●ter Bobadillo and Matheo . Bob. By your vvorships fauour . Clem. Nay keepe out sir , I know not your pretence , you send me vvord ●ir you are a souldier , vvhy sir you shall bee answered here , here be them haue beene amongst sould●●rs . Sir your pleasure . Bob. Fayth sir so it is : this gentleman and my selfe haue beene most violently vvronged by one signior Giullian● : a gallant of the citie here and for my owne part I protest , beeing a man in no sorte giuen to this filthy humor of quarreling , he hath asaulted me in the vvay of my peace : dispoyld me of mine honor , disarmd me of my vveapons , a●d beaten me in the open streetes : vvhen I not so much as once offered to resist him . Clem. Oh Gods precious is this the souldier ? here take my armour quickly , t will make him swoone I feare ; he is not fit to looke on 't , that vvill put vp a blow . E●ter Seruant . Mat. An dt pleas● your worship he 〈◊〉 bound to the peace . Clem. Why , and he were sir , his hands ▪ were not bound , were they ? Ser. There is one of the varlets of the citie , has b●ought two gentlemen here vpon arest sir. Clem. Bid him come in , set by the picture : now sir , what ? signior Giulliano ? i st you that are arested at ●ignior freshwaters suit here . Enter M●s. with Gin. & Stephano . Giu. I fayth maister Doctor , and here 's another brought at my suite . Clem. What are yo sir. S●ep . A gentleman sir● oh vncle ? Clem. Vncle ? vvho , Lore●zo ? L● . se. I Sir. Step. Gods my vvitnesse my vn●●e , I am vvrongd here monstrously , he chargeth me vvith stealing of his cloake , & vvould I might neuer stir , if I did not finde it in the street by chance . Giu. Oh did you finde it now ? you saide you bought it 〈◊〉 vvhile ? Step. And you sayd I stole it , nay now my vnckle is here I care not . Clem. Well let this breath a while ; you that haue cause t● complaine there , stand foorth ; had you a vvarrant for thi● arrest . Bob. I an dt please your vvorship . Clem. Nay do not speake in passion so , vvhere had you it ? Bob. Of your clarke sir. Clem. That 's vvell and my clarke can make vvarrants , and my hand not at them ; vvhere is the vvarrant ? varlet ha●● you it ? Mus. No sir your vvorshippes man bid me doe it ; for these gentlemen and he vvould be my discharge . Clem. Why signior Giullian● , are you such a nouice to be arrested and neuer see the vvarrant ? Giu. Why sir , he did not arrest me . C●e● . No ? how then ? Giu. Marry sir he came to me and sayd he must arrest me , 〈◊〉 he vvould vse me kindely , and so foorth . Clem. Oh Gods pittie , vvas it so sir , he must arrest you : gi●e me my long sworde there : helpe me of ; so , come on sir varlet , I must cut of your legges si●ha ; nay stand vp I le vse you kindly ; I mu●● cut of your legges I say . Mus. Oh good sir I beseech you , nay good maister doctor , Oh ▪ good sir. Clem. I must do it● there is no remedie ; I must cut of you● legges sirha . I must cut of your eares , you rascall I must do it ; I must cut of your nose , I must cut of your head . Mus. Oh for God sake good Maister Doctor . Clem. Well rise how doest thou now ? doest thou feele thy s●lfe well ? hast thou no harme ? Mus. No I thanke God sir and your good worshippe . Clem. Why so I sayd I must cut of thy legges , and I must ●ut of thy armes , and I must cut of thy head : but I did not do it : so you sayd you must arrest this gentleman , but you did not arrest him you knaue , you sl●ue , you rogue , do you say you must arrest sirha : away with him to the iayle , I le teach yo● a ●r●●ke for your must . Mus. Goo● M. Doctor I beseech you be good to me . Clem. Marry a God : away with him I say . Mus. Nay sblood before I goe to prison , I le put on my olde brasen face , and disclaime in my vocation ▪ I le discouer that 's flat , and I be committed , it shall be for the committing of more 〈◊〉 then this , hang 〈…〉 I loos● the least graine of my fam● . Clem● Why ? vvhen knaue ? by Gods marry , I le clappe thee by the heel●s 〈◊〉 . Mus. Hold , hold I pray you . Clem. What the 〈◊〉 ? stay there . Mus. Fayth sir afore I goe to this house of bondage , I haue a case to vnfolde to your worshippe : which ( that it may appeare more playne vnto your worshippes view ) I do thus first of all vncase , & appeare in mine owne proper nature , seruant to this gentleman : and known● by the name of Musco . Lo. se. Ha ? Musco . Step. Oh vncle , Musco has beene with my cosen and I all this day . Clem. Did not I tell you there was some deuise . Mus. Nay good M. Doctor since I ha●e layd my selfe thus open to your worship : now stand strong for me , till the progresse of my tale be ended , and then if my vvit do not deserue your countenance : Slight throw it on a dogge , and let me goe hang my selfe . Cle. Body of me a merry knaue , giue me a boule of Sack , signior Lorenzo , I bespeak your patience in perticuler , marry your eares ingenerall , here knaue , Doctor Clement drinkes to thee . Mus. ● pledge M. Doctor and 't were a sea to the bottome . C●e . Fill his boule for that , fil his boule : so , now speak freely . Mus. Indeede this is it will make a man speake freely . But to the poynt , know then that I Musc● ( beeing somewhat more t●usted of my maister then reason required a●d knowing his intent to Fl●rence ) did assume the habit of a poore souldier in wants , and minding by some meanes to intercept his iorney in the mid way , tw●xt the grandg and the city , I encountred him , where begging of him in the most accomplisht and true garbe ( as they tearme it ) contrarie to al expectation , he reclaimed me from that bad course of life ; entertayned me into 〈◊〉 se●●ice , imployed me in his business possest me with his secrets , which I no sooner had receiued ▪ but ( seeking my young maister , and finding him at this gentlemans house ) I reuealed all mos●amply : this done , by the d●uise of signior Pros●ero , and him together , I returnd ( ●s the Rauen did to the Arke ) to mine olde maist●r againe , told him he should finde his sonne in what maner he knows , at one Cobs house , where indeede he neuer ment to come , now my maister lie to maintayne the iest , went thether , and ieft me with your vvorships clarke : vvho being of a most fine supple disposition ( as most of your clarkes are ) proffers me the wine , which I h●d the grace to accept very easily , and to the tauerne we went : there after much ceremonie , I made him drunke in kindenesse , stript him to his shurt , and leauing him in that coole vayne , departed , frolicke , courtier like , hauing obtayned a suit : which suit fitting me exceedingly well , I put on , and vsurping your m●ns phrase & action , caried a message to Signior Thorello in your name : vvhich message vvas meerely deuised but to procure his absence , while signior Prospero might make a conueiance of Hesperida to my maister . Cl●m . Stay , fill me the boule agayne , here ; t were pittie of his life vvould not cherish such a spirite : I drinke to thee , fill him wine , why now do you perceiue the tricke of it . Th● . I , I , percei●e vvell vve vvere all ab●sed ▪ L● . se. Well vvhat remedie ? Cle● . Where is Lorenz● , and Prospero canst thou tell ? M●s. I sir , they are at supper 〈◊〉 the M●●r●maid , where I left your man. Clem. Sirha goe vvar●e them ●●ther presently before me : and if the hower of your fellowe● resurrection become bring him to . But forwarde , forwarde , vvhen thou hadst beene at Thorre●●●s . Exit 〈◊〉 . M●s. M●rry sir ( comming along the streete ) these two g●●tlemen meet me , ●nd very strongly supposing me to be yo●● vvorship● scribe , 〈◊〉 me to pro●ure th●m a vvarr●●t , for the arrest of signior 〈◊〉 , I promist them vpon some paire ●f silke stockins or a iewell , or so , to do it , and to get a varlet of the citie to serue it , vvhich varlet I appoynted should meete them vpon the Realto 〈◊〉 such an houre , th●y no sooner gone , b●t I in a meere hope of more g●ine by signior Gi●lli●n● , went to one of S●●ans old Ingles ● broker , & there pa●nd your man● liuerie , for a varlets suite , vvhich here vvith my selfe , I offer vnto your vvorships consideration . Cle● . Well giue me thy hand : Proh . superi ing●nium 〈◊〉 quis n●scit Ho●erum . Il●i●s 〈◊〉 si l●tuisset op●● ? I admire thee I honor thee , and if thy maister , or ●ny man here be angry with thee , I shall suspect his wit while I know him for it , do● you heare Signior Thorell● , Signior Lorenz● , and the rest of my good friendes , I pray you let me haue peace when they come , I h●●e sent for the two gallants and Hesperida , Gods marry I musi haue yo● friendes , how now ? what noyseis there ? Enter s●ru●nt , then Peto . Ser. Sir it is Pet● is come hom● . Cle. Peto bring him hether , bring him hether , what how now signior drunckard , in armes against me , ha ? your reason your reason for this . Pe. I beseech your worship to pardon me . Cle● . Well , sirha tell him I do pardon him . Pe. Truly sir I did happen into bad companie by chance and they cast me in a sleepe and stript me of all my cloathes . Cl●m . Tut this is not to the purpose touching your armour , what might your armour signifie . Pe. Marry 〈◊〉 hung in the roome where they stript me , and I borrowed it of on of the drawers , now in the euening to come home in , because I was loth to come through the street in my shurt . Ent●r Lorenzo i●nior , Prospero , Hespe●ida . Clem. Well disarme him , but it s no matter let him stand by , who be these ? oh young gal●ants ; welcome , welcome , and you Lady , nay neuer scatter such amazed lookes amongst vs , Qui nil potest sperare desperet nihil . Pros. Faith M. Doctor that 's euen I , my hopes are smal , and my dispaire shal be as little . Brother , sister , brother what cloudy , cloudy ? and will 〈◊〉 sunshine on these lookes appeare , well since there is such a tempest towarde , I le be the porpuis , I le daunce : wench be of good cheare , thou hast a cloake for the rayne yet , where is he ? S'hart how now , the picture of the prodigal , go to I le haue the calfe drest for you at my charges . Le. se. Well sonne L●renzo , this dayes worke of yours hath much deceiued my hopes , troubled my peace , and stretcht my patience further then became ●he spirite of dutie . Cle. Nay Gods pitie signior Lorenzo you shal vrge it no more come since you are here , I le haue the disposing o● all , but first signior Giulliano at my request take your cloake agayn● . G●u . Well sir I am content . Cle. Stay now let me see , oh signior Snow●liuer I had almost forgotten him , and your Genius there , what doth he suffer for a good conscience to ? doth he beare his crosse with patience . Mu. Nay they haue scarse one c●os between thē both to beare . Clem. Why doest thou know him , what is he ? what is he ? Mus. Marry search his pocket sir , and the●e shew you he is an Author Sir. Cle. Dic mihi musa virum : are you an Author sir , giue me leaue a little , come on sir , I le make verses with you now in honor of the Gods , and the Goddesses for what you dare extempore ; and now I beginne . Mount the my P●legon muse , and testifie , How Saturne sitting in an Ebon cloud , Disro●d his podex , white as iuorie , And through the welkin thundred all aloud . there 's for you sir. Pros. Oh he writes not in that height of stile . Clem. No : wee le come a steppe or two lower then . From Catadupa and the bankes of Nile , Where onely breedes your monstrous Crocodile : Now are● we purposd for to fetch our stile . Pros. Oh too farre fetcht for him still maister Doctor : C●em . I , say you so , le ts intreat a sight of his vaine then ? Pros. Signior , maister Doctor desires to see a sight of your vaine , nay you must not denie him . Cle. What ; al this verse , body of me he carries a whole realme ; a common wealth of paper in his hose , le ts see some of his sub●ects . Vnto the boundlesse ocean of thy bewtie , R●nnes this poore riuer , chargd with streames of zeale , Returning thee the tribute of my dutie : Which here my youth , my plaints , my loue reue●le . Good ? is this your owne inuention ▪ Mat. No sir ▪ I translated that o●t of a booke , called Delia. C. Oh but I wold see some of your owne , some of your owne . Mat. Sir ; here 's the beginning of a sonnet I made to my mistresse . Cle● . That that : who ? to Madd●●a Hesperida is she your mistresse . Pros. It pleaseth him to call her so , sir. Clem. In Sommer time when Phaebus golden rayes . You translated this too ? did you not ? Pros. No this is inuention ; he found it in a ballad . Mat. Fayth sir ▪ I had most of the conceite of it 〈◊〉 of a ballad i●deede . Clem. Conceite , fetch me a couple of torches , sirha , I may see the conceite : quickly ? its very darke ? Giu. Call you this poetry ? Lo. iu. Poetry ? nay then call blasphemie , religion ; Call Diuels , Angels ; and Sinne , pietie : Let all things be preposterously transchangd . Le● se. Why how now sonne ? what ? are you startled now ? Hath the brize prickt you ? ha ? go to ; you see , How abiectly your Poetry is ranckt , in generall opinion . Le. iu. Opinion , O God let grosse opiniō sinck & be damnd As deepe as Barathrum , If it may stand with your most wisht content , I can refell opinion and approue , The state of poe●ie , such as it is , Blessed , aeternall , and most true deuine : Indeede if you will locke on Po●●ie , As she appeares in many , poore and lame , Patcht vp in remnants ●nd olde worne ragges , Halfe starud for want of her peculi●r foode : Sacred inuention , then I must conferme , Both your conceite and censure of her merrite , But view her in her glorious ornaments , Attired in the maiestie of arte , Set high in spirite vvith the precious taste , Of sweete philosophie , and vvhich is most , Crownd vvith the rich traditions of a soule , That hates to haue her dignitie prophand , With any relish of an earthly thought : Oh them how proud a presence doth she beare . Then is she like her selfe fit to be seene , Of none but graue and consecrated eyes : Nor is it any blemish to her fame . That such leane ▪ ignorant , and blasted wits , Such brainlesse guls , should vtter their stolne wares With such aplauses in our vulgar eares : Or that their slubberd lines haue currant passe , From the fat iudgements of the multitude , But that this barren and infected age , Should set no difference twixt these empty spirits , And a true Poet : then which reuerend name , Nothing can more adorne humanitie . Enter with torches . Clem. I Lorenzo , but election is now gouernd altogether by the influence of humor , which insteed of those holy flames that should direct and light the soule to eternitie , hurles foorth nothing bu● smooke and congested vapours , that stifle her vp , & berea●e her of al sight & motion . But she must haue store of Ell●bor● , giuen her to purge these grosse obstructions : oh that 's well sayd , giue me thy torch , come lay this stuffe together . So , giue fire ? there , see , see , how our Poets glory shines brighter , and brighter , still , still it incr●●seth , oh now it s at the highest , and now it declines as fast : you may see gallants , Sic transit gloria mundi . Well now my two Signior out sides , stand foorth , and l●nd me your large 〈◊〉 , to ● sentence , to a sentence : first you signior shall this night to the cage , and so shall you sir , from thence to morrow mor●ing , you signior shall be carried to the market crosse , and be there bound : and so shall yo● sir , in a large motlie coate , with ● rodde at yo●r girdle ; and you in an olde suite of sa●kcloth , ●●d the ashes of your papers ( saue the ashes sirha ) shall mourne all day , and at night both together sing some ballad of repentance very pitteously , which you shall make to the t●●e of Wh● list t● lead● and a souldiers life , Sirha bil man , imbrace you this torch , and light the gentlemen to their lodgings , and because we tender their safetie , you shall watch them to night , you are prouided for the purpose ▪ away and looke to your charge with an open eye sirha . Bob. Well I am ar●d in soule agaynst the worst of fortune . Mat. Fayth so should I be , and I had slept on it . Pe. I am armd too , but I am not like to sleepe on it . Mus. Oh how this pleaseth me . Exeunt . C●em . Now Signior Th●●ello , Giulliano , Prospero , Bi●ncha . Step. And not me sir. Clem. Yes and you sir : I had lost a sheepe and he h●d no● bleated , I must haue you all friends : but first a worde wit● you young gallant , and you Lady . Giu. Wel brother Prospero by this good light that shines here I am loth to kindle fresh coles , but and you had come in my walke within these two houres I had giuen you that you should not haue clawne of agayne in hast , by Iesus I had done it , I am the arrenst rogue that euer bre●thd else , but now beshrew my hart if I beare you any malice in the earth . Pros. Fayth I did it but to hould vp a iest : and helpe my sister to a husband , but brother Thor●llo , and sister , you haue a spice of the yealous yet both of you , ( in your hose I meane , ) come do not dwell vpon your anger so much , le ts all be smoth fore headed once agayne . Tho. He playes vpon my fore head , brother Giulliano , I pray you tell me one thing I shall aske you : is my foreheade any thing rougher then it was wont to be . Giu. Rougher ? your forehead is smoth enough man. Tho. Why should he then say ? be smoth foreheaded , Vnlesse he iested at the smothnesse of it ? And that may be ; for horne is very smoth ; So are my browes ▪ by Iesu , smoth as horne ? Bia. Brother had he no haunt thether in good fayth ? Pros. No vpon my soule . Bia. Nay then sweet hart : nay I pray the be not angry , good faith I le neuer suspect thee ●ny more , nay kisse me sweet musse . Tho. Tell me Bi●●cha , do not you play the woman with me . Bia. What 's that sweete hart . Tho. Dissemble ? Bia. Dissemble ? Tho. Nay doe not turne away : but say I fayth was it not a match appoynted twixt this old gentleman and you ? Bia. A match . Tho. Nay if it were not , I do not care : do not weepe I pray thee sweete Biancha , nay so now ? by Iesus I am not iealous , but resolued I haue the faythfulst wife in Italie . For this I finde where iealousie is fed , Hornes in the mind● , are worse then on the head . See what a droue of hornes flie in the ayre , Wingd with my cle●●sed , and my credulous breath : Watch them suspicious eyes , watch where they fall , See see , on heades that thinke they haue none at all . Oh what a ple●●uous world of this will come , When ayre raynes hornes , all men besure of some . Clem. Why that 's well , come then : what say you are all agreed ? doth none●stand out . Pr●s . None but this gentleman : to whom in my owne person I owe all dutie and affection : but most seriously intreate pardon , for whatsoeuer hath past in these occurrants , that might be contrarie to his most desired content . Lo. Fayth sir it is a vertue that persues , Any ●aue rude and vncomposed spirites , To make a fayre construction and indeede Not to stand of , when such respectiue meanes , Inuite a generall content in all . Clem. Well then I coniure you all here to put of all discontentment , first you Signior L●renz● your cares ; you , and you , your iealosie : you your anger , and you your wit sir : and for a peace offering , here 's one willing to be sacrifised vppon this aulter : say d● you approue my motion ? Pros. We doe I le be mouth for all . Clem. VVhy then I wish them all ioy , and now to make our euening happinesse more full : this night you shall be all my guestes : where wee le inioy the very spirite of mirth , and carouse to the health of this Heroick spirite , whom to honor the more I do inuest in my owne robes , desiring you two Giulliano , and Pr●spero , to be his supporters , the trayne to follow , my selfe will leade● , vsherd by my page here with this honorabl● verse . Claudite iam riuos pueri sat pr●ta biberunt . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A04647-e300 Pul●so ▪ a red Herri●● They all draw , enter Piso and some mor● of the house to part them , the w●●en make a great crie . The ●ffer t● figh● againe and are parted . Cob beates his wife .