Monsieur D'Olive Chapman, George This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A69093 of text S107709 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 4983). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Melina Yeh Hannah Bredar This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A69093.xml Monsieur D'Oliue A comedie, as it vvas sundrie times acted by her Maiesties children at the Blacke-Friers. By George Chapman. Chapman, George, 1559?-1634. 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2006 February (TCP phase 1) AUB6287 STC (2nd ed.) 4983 Greg, I, 236(A*Ûp1ÛsÛp2Ûs ) 8136 A69093

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 Monsieur D'Oliue A comedie, as it vvas sundrie times acted by her Maiesties children at the Blacke-Friers. By George Chapman. Monsieur D'Olive Monsieur D'Olive. Monseuer D'Oliue. Monsever D'Olive. Chapman, George, 1559?-1634. [64] p. Printed by T[homas] C[reede] for William Holmes, and are to be sold at his shop in Saint Dun-stons Church-yard in Fleete-streete, London : 1606. 1605

Printer's name from STC.

Signatures: A-HÛp4Ûs.

With a final leaf listing the actors.

Some running titles read: Monseuer D'Oliue.

One of two variants (the other being STC 4984), this one with line 4 of title page: comedie, as it vvas.

Variant: title page has "Chapmon"; imprint has "Dun-Stons".

Reproductions of the originals in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. and the Henry Huntington Library and Art Gallery.

 A69093 shc Monsieur D'Olive Chapman, George Melina Yeh Hannah Bredar 1605 play comedy shc no A69093 S107709 (STC 4983). 21819 2 0 0 1001.37B The rate of 1.37 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago

MONSIEVR D'OLIVE A Comedie , as it vvas sundrie times acted by her Maiesties children at the Blacke-Friers .

By Geo. Chapmon .

VERITAS VIRESSIT VULNERE

LONDON Printed by T. C. for William Holmes , and are to be sold at his Shop in Saint Dun-Stons Church-yard in Fleete streete , 1606 .

MONSIEVR D'OLIVE .
ACTVS PRIMI .
Scaena Prima . VANDOME with seruants and saylors laden , VAVMONT , another way walking . Vand. COnuey your carriage to my brother in Lawes , Th' Earle of Saint Anne , to whome and to my Sister , Commend my humble seruice , tell them both Of my arriuall , and intent t' attend them : When in my way , I haue performd fit duties , To Count Vaumont , and his most honoured Countesse . Ser.

We will Syr , this way , follow honest Saylors .

Exeunt Seruants . Uand. Our first obseruance , after any absence Must be presented euer to our Mistresse : As at our parting she should still be last , Hinc Amor vt circulus , from hence t is said That loue is like a circle , being th' efficient And end of all our actions ; which excited By no worse abiect then my matchlesse mistresse Were worthy to employ vs to that likenesse ; And be the onely Ring our powers should beate , Noble she is by birth , made good by vertue , Exceeding faire , and her behauiour to it , Is like a singular Musitian To a sweete Instrument , or else as doctrine Is to the soule , that puts it into Act , And prints it full of admirable formes Without which t were an emptie , idle flame Her eminent iudgement to dispose these parts , Sits on her browe and holds a siluer Scepter , with which she keepes time to the seuerall musiques , Plac't in the sacred consort of her beauties : Loues compleat armorie is manadgd in her . To stirre affection , and the discipline To checke and to affright it from attempting Any attaint might disproportion her Or make her graces lesse then circular ; Yet her euen carriage , is as farre from coynesse As from Immodestie , in play , in dancing In suffering court-ship : in requiting kindnesse . In vse of places , houres , and companies Free as the Sunne , and nothing more corrupted , As circumspect as Cynthia , in her vowes , And constant as the Center to obserue them , Ruthfull , and bountious neuer fierce nor dull , In all her courses euer at the full These three yeares , I haue trauaild , and so long Have beene in trauaile with her dearest sight , Which now shall beautifie the enamour'd light . This is her house , what ? the gates shut and cleere Of all attendants ? Why , the house was wont To hold the vsuall concourse of a Court , And see , me thinks through the encourtaind windowes ( In this high time of day ) I see light Tapers , This is exceeding strange . Behold the Farle Walking in as strange sort before the dore , I le know this wonder sure : My honoured Lord ? Vau.

Keepe of Sir and beware whom you embrace ,

Uand.

Why flyes your Lordship back ?

Uau. You should be sure To knowe a man your friend ere you embrac't him . Uand. I hope my knowledge cannot be more sure Then of your Lordships friendship . Uau. No mans knowledge , Can make him sure of any thing without him Or not within his power to keepe , or order . Vand. I comprehend not this ; and wonder much To see my most lou'd Lord so much estrang'd . Vau. The truth is , I haue done your knowne deserts More wrong , then with your right should let you greet me And in your absence , which makes worse the wrong , And in your honour , which still makes it worse . Vand. If this be all my Lord , the discontent You seeme to entertaine , is meerly causlesse : Your free confession , and the manner of it , Doth liberally excuse what wrong soeuer , Your mis-conceit could make you lay on me , And therefore , good my Lord discouer it , That we may take the spleene , and corsey from it . Vau. Then heare a strange report and reason , why I did you this repented iniurie . You know my wife is by the rights of courtship , Your chosen Mistresse , and she not disposde ( As other Ladies are ) to entertaine Peculiar termes , with common acts of kindnesse : But ( knowing in her , more then womens iudgement , That she should nothing wrong her husbands right , To vse a friend onely for vertue , chosen With all the right ; of friendship ) tooke such care After the solemne parting to your trauaile , And spake of you with such exceeding passion , That I grew iealous , and with rage excepted Against her kindnesse , vtterly forgetting I should haue waied so rare a womans words , As duties of a free and friendly iustice : Not as the head-strong and incontinent vapors Of other Ladies bloods , enflamed with lust , Wherein I iniured both your innocencies , Which I approue , not out of flexible dotage , By any cunning flatteries of my wife , But in impartiall equitie , made apparant Both by mine owne well-waid comparison Of all her other manifest perfections , With this one onely doubtfull leuitie , And likewise by her violent apprehension Of her deepe wrong and yours , for she hath vowde , Neuer to let the common Pandresse light , ( Or any doome as vulgar ) censure her In any action she leaues subiect to them , Neuer to fit the day with her attire , Nor grace it with her presence ; Nourish in it , ( Vnlesse with sleepe ) nor stir out of her chamber : And so hath muffled and mewd vp her beauties In neuer-ceasing darkenesse , Neuer sleeping , But in the day transform'd by her to night : With all Sunne banisht from her smootherd graces : And thus my deare and most vnmatched wife , That was a comfort and a grace to me , In euery iudgement , euery companie , I , by false Iealousie , haue no lesse then lost , Murtherd her liuing , and emtoomd her quicke . Vand. Conceit it not so deepely , good my Lord , Your wrong to me or her , was no fit ground To beare so waightie and resolu'd a vowe , From her incensed and abused vertues . Uau. There could not be a more important cause , To fill her with a ceaslesse hate of light , To see it grace grose lightnesse with full beames , And frowne on continence with her oblique glances . As nothing equalls , right to vertue done , So is her wrong past all comparison . Vand. Vertue is not malitious , wrong done her Is righted euer when men grant they Erre , But doth my princely mistresse so contemne The glorie of her beauties , and the applause Giuen to the worth of her societie , To let a voluntarie vowe obscure them ; Uau. See all her windowes , and her doores made fast , And in her Chamber lights for night enflam'd , Now others rise , she takes her to her bed . Uand. This newes is strange , heauen grant I be encounterd With better tyding ; of my other friendes , Let me be bold my Lord t' enquire the state Of my deare sister , in whose selfe and me , Surviues the whole hope of our familie , Together with her deare and princely husband Th' Earle of Saint Anne . Uau. Vnhappie that I am , I would to heauen your most welcome steppes Had brought you first vpon some other friend , To be the sad Relator of the changes Chanc't your three yeares most lamented absence , Your worthy sister , worthier farre of heauen Then this vnworthy hell of passionate Earth , Is taken vp amongst her fellow Starres . Uand. Vnhappie man that euer I returnd And perisht not ere these newes pierst mine eares . Vau. Nay be not you that teach men comfort , grieued ; I know your iudgement will set willing shoulders To the knowne burthens of necessitie : And teach your wilfull brother patience , Who striues with death , and from his caues of rest Retaines his wiues dead Corse amongst the liuing , For with the rich sweetes of restoring Balmes , He keepes her lookes as fresh as if she liu'd , And in his chamber ( as in life attirde ) She in a Chaire sits leaning on her arme , As if she onely slept : and at her feete He like a mortified hermit clad , Sits weeping out his life , as hauing lost All his lifes comfort : And that she being dead ( Who was his greatest part ) he must consume , As in an Apoplexy strooke with death . Nor can the Duke nor Dutchesse comfort him , Nor messagers with consolatory letters , From the kinde King of France , who is allyed To her and you . But to lift all his thoughts Vp to another world , where she expects him , He feedes his eares with soule-exciting musicke . Solemne and Tragicall , and so Resolues In those sadde accents to exhale his soule , Uan. O what a second , Ruthles Sea of woes Wracks mee within my Hauen ; and on the Shore ? What shall I doe ? mourne , mourne , with them that mourne , And make my greater woes their lesse expell , This day I le consecrate to sighes and teares And this Next Euen , which is my mistresse morning I le greete her , wondring at her wilfull humours , And with rebukes , breaking out of my Loue , And duetie to her honour , make her see How much her too much curious vertue wrongs her Van. Sayd like the man the world hath euer held you , Welcome , as new lines to vs , our good Now Shall wholly be ascrib'de and trust to you . Exeunt . Enter Rhoderique and Mugeron . Mug.

See , see , the vertuous Countesse hath bidden our day Good night , her starres are now visible : when was any Lady seene to be so constant in her vow , and able to forbeare the society of men so sinceerely ?

Rho.

Neuer in this world , at least exceeding seldome . What shame it is for men to see women so farre surpasse them : for when was any man knowne ( out of iudgement ) to performe so staied an abstinēce , from the society of women .

Mug.

Neuer in this world .

Rhoderique .

What an excellent Creature an honest woman is ? I warrant you the Countesse , and her Virgine sister , spend all their times in Contemplation , watching to see the sacred Spectacles of the night , when other Ladies lye drownd in sleepe or sensualitie , I st not so think'st ?

Mug.

No question .

Rhoderic.

Come , come , le ts forget we are Courtiers , and talke like honest men , tell truth , and shame all trauaylers and tradesmen : Thou beleeu'st all 's naturall beautie that shewes faire , though the Painter enforce it , and sufferst in soule I know for the honorable Ladie .

Mug.

Can any heart of Adamant not yeeld in compassion to see spotlesse Innocencie suffer such bitter pennance ?

Rhoder.

A very fitte stocke to graffe on : Tush man thinke what she is , thinke where she liues , thinke on the villanous cunning of these times , Indeed did we liue now in old Saturnes time : when women had no other art , than what Nature taught am ( and yet there needes little Art I wisse to teach a woman to dissemble ) when Luxurie was vnborne , at least vntaught , the art to steale from a forbidden tree : when Coaches , when Perwigges , and painting , when Maskes , and Masking : in a word when Court and Courting was vnknowne , an easie mist might then perhappes haue wrought vpon my sence as it does now on the poore Countesse and thine .

Mug.

O world !

Rho.

O flesh !

Mug.

O Diuell !

Rhod.

I tell thee Mugeron , the Flesh is growne so great with the Diuell , as there 's but a little Honestie left i th world . That , that is , is in Lawyers , they ingrosse all : S'foote what gaue the first fire to the Counts Iealousie ?

Mug.

What but his misconstruction of her honourable affection to Uandome .

Rho.

Honourable affection ? first shee s an ill huswife of her honour , that puts it vpon construction : but the presumption was violent against her , no speeche but of Vandome , no thought but of his memorie , no myrth but in his companie , besides the free entercourse of Letters , Fauours , and other entertainments , too too manifest signes that her heart went hand in hand with her tongue .

Mug.

Why , was shee not his mistresse ?

Rhod.

I , I , a Court tearme , for I wotte what , slight Vandome the Stallion of the Court , her deuoted Seruant , and forsoothe loues her honourablie : Tush , hee s a foole that beleeues it : for my part I loue to offende in the better part still , and that is , to iudge charitable : But now forsoothe to redeeme her Honour , shee must by a laborious and violent kinde of Purgation , Rubbe off the Skinne , to wash out the spotte , Turne her Chamber to a Cell , the Sunne into a Taper , And ( as if shee liu'd in another worlde amongst the Antipodes , ) make our night her day , and our day her night , that vnder this curtaine , shee may laye his iealousie a sleepe , whiles shee turnes poore Argus to Acteon , and makes his Sheets common to her Seruaunt Vandome .

Mug.

Uandome ? Why hee was mette i' th streete but euen now , newly arriv'd after three yeares trauaile .

Rhod.

Newely arriv'd ? hee has beene arriv'd this twelue-month , and has euer since lyne close in his mistresse cunning darkenesse , at her seruice .

Mug.

Fye a the Deuill , who will not enuie slaunder ? O the miserable condition of her Sexe : borne to liue vnder all construction . If shee be courteous , shee s thought to be wanton : if shee be kinde , shee s too willing : if coye , too wilfull : if shee be modest : shee s a clowne , if shee bee honest , shee s a foole : And so is hee .

Enter D'oliue . Rhod.

What Monsieur D'oliue , the onely admyrer of wit and good words .

D'ol.

Morrowe wits , morrowe good wits : my little parcell of wit , I haue Roddes in pisse for you ; how doest Iacke , may I call thee Syr Iack yet ?

Mug.

You may Syr : Syrs as commendable an addition as Iacke , for ought I knowe .

D'ol.

I know it Iacke , and as common too .

Rho.

Go too , you may couer ; wee haue taken notice of your embroydered Beuer :

D'ol.

Looke you : by Heauen tha' art one of the maddest bitter slaues in Europe , I doe but wonder how I made shifte to loue thee all this while .

Rho.

Go too what might such a parcell guilt couer be worth ?

Mug.

Perhappes more then the whole peece besides .

D'ol.

Good yfaith , but bytter , O you madde slaues , I thinke you had Satyres , to your syres , yet I must loue you , I must take pleasure in you , and yfaith tell mee , how i st ? liue I see you doe , but how ? but how ? witts ?

Rho.

Faith as you see , like poore younger Brothers .

D'ol.

By your wittes ?

Mug.

Nay not turnd Poets neither .

D'ol.

Good soothe : but indeede to say truth , Time was when the sonnes of the Muses had the priuiledge to liue onlie by their wits , but times are altered , Monopolies are nowe calld in , & wits become a free trade for all sorts to liue by , Lawyers liue by wit and they liue worshipfully : Souldiers liue by wit , and they liue honourably : Panders liue by wit , and they liue honestlie . In a word there are fewe trades but liue by wit , onely bawdes and Midwifes liue by Womens labours , as Fooles and Fidlers do by making myrth , Pages and Parasits by making legges : Paynters and Players by making mouthes and faces : ha doest well wits ?

Rho.

Faith thou followest a figure in thy iests , as countrey Gentlemen followe fashions when they bee worne threed-bare .

D'ol.

Well , well , le ts leaue these wit skirmishes , and say when shall we meete ?

Mug.

How thinke you , are we not met now ?

D'ol.

Tush man , I meane at my chamber , where we may take free vse of our selues , that is , drinke Sacke , and talke Satyre , and let our wits runne the wilde Goose chase ouer Court and Countrey ; I will haue my chamber the Rende-vous of all good wits , the shoppe of good wordes , the Mint of good Iestes , an Ordinary of fine discourse , Critickes , Essayists , Linguists , Poets , and other professors of that facultie of wit , shall at certaine houres i th day resort thither , it shall be a second Sorbonne , where all doubts or differences of Learning , Honour , Duellisme , Criticisme , and Poetrie shall be disputed : and how wits , do ye follow the Court still ?

Rhod.

Close at heeles sir , and I can tell you , you haue much to aunswere for your starres , that you doe not so too .

D'ol.

As why wits ? as why ?

Rhod.

VVhy sir , the Court 's as t were the stage : and they that haue a good suite of parts and qualities , ought to presse thither to grace them , and receiue their due merite .

Dol.

Tush , let the Court follow me : he that soares too neare the sunne , melts his wings many times : as I am , I possesse my selfe , I enjoy my libertie , my learning , my wit , as for wealth and honor let am go , I le not loose my learning to be a Lord , nor my wit to be an Alderman .

Mug.

Admirable D'oliue .

Dol.

And what ! you stand gazing at this Comet here , and admire it , I dare say .

Rhod.

And do not you ?

D'ol.

Not I , I admire nothing but wit .

Rhod.

But I wonder how she entertaines time in that solitarie Cell : does she not take Tabacco thinke you ?

D'ol.

She does , she does : others make it their Physicke , she makes it her foode : her sister and she take it my turne , first one , then the other , and Vandome ministers to them both .

Mug.

How sayest thou by that Helene of Greece , the Countesses sister , there were a Paragon Monsieur D'oliue , to admire and marrie too .

D'ol.

Not for me .

Rhod.

No , what acceptions lies against the choise .

D'ol.

Tush , tell me not of choise , if I stood affected that way , I would chuse my wife as men do Valentines , blindfold , or draw cuts for them , for so I shall be sure not to be deceiued in choosing : for take this of me , there 's ten times more deceipt in women then in Horse-flesh : and I say still , that a prettie well pac'd Chambermaid is the only fashion , if she grow full or ful some , giue her but six pence to buy her a handbasket , and send her the way of all flesh , there 's no more but so .

Mug.

Indeed that 's the sauingst way .

D'ol.

O me ! what a hell t is for a man to be tied to the continuall charge of a Coach , with the appurtenances , horse , men , and so forth ; and then to haue a mans house pestered with a whole countrey of Guests , Groomes , Panders , wayting maides ? &c. I carefull to please my wife , she carelesse to displease me , shrewish if she be honest , intolerable if shee be wise , imperious as an Emperesse , all she does must be law , all shee sayes Gospell : O what a pennance t is to endure her , I glad to forbeare still , all to keepe her loyall , and yet perhappes when all 's done , my heyre shall be like my Horse-keeper : Fie on 't , the very thought of marriage were able to coole the hottest liuer in France .

Rhod.

VVell , I durst venture twice the price of your guilt Connies wooll , we shall haue you change your coppy ere a twelue moneths day .

Mug.

We must haue you dubd at h order ther 's no remedie , you that haue vnmarryed , done such honourable seruice in the common-wealth , must needes receyue the honour due t'oot in marriage .

Rho.

That hee may doe , and neuer marrie .

D'ol.

As how wits , yfaith as how ?

Rho.

For if hee can prooue his father was free at h order , and that hee was his fathers sonne , then by the laudable custome of the Cittie , hee may bee a cuckold by his fathers coppie , and neuer serue for t .

D'ol.

Euer good yfaith :

Mug.

Nay howe can hee pleade that , when it t' is as well knowne his father dyed a batcheler .

D'ol.

Bitter , in verity , bitter . But good still in it kinde .

Rho.

Goe too , we must haue you follow the lanthorne of your forefathers .

Mug.

His forefathers ? S'body had hee more fathers then one .

D'ol.

Why this is right : heer 's wit canuast out ans coate , into 's Iacket : the string sounds euer well , that rubs not too much at h frets : I must loue your Wits , I must take pleasure in you . Farewell good wits , you know my lodging , make an Errand thether now and than , and saue your ordinarie , doe wits , doe .

Mug.

Wee shall be troublesome too .

D'ol.

O God Syr , you wrong mee , to thinke I can , bee troubled with wit , I loue a good wit , as I loue my selfe , if you neede a brace or two of Crownes at any time Addresse but your Sonnet , it shall bee as sufficient as your bonde at all times , I carrie halfe a score byrdes in a cage , shall euer remaine at your call : Farewell wits , farewell good wits .

Exits . Rho.

Farewell the true mappe of a gull : by Heauen hee shall too'th Court : t' is the perfect model of an impudent vpstart : the compound of a Poet , and a Lawyer , hee shall sure too'th Court .

Mug.

Naye for Gods sake , let ts haue no fooles at Court .

Rho.

Hee shall too 't that 's certaine , the Duke had a purpose to dispatch some one or other to the French King , to entreat him to send for the bodie of his Neece , which the melancoly Earle of Saint Anne , her husband hath kept so long vnburied , as meaning one graue should entombe himselfe and her together .

Mug.

A very worthy subiect for an Ambassage , as D'oliue is for an Ambassador Agent , and t' is as sutable to his braine , as his parcell guilt Beuer to his fooles head .

Rho.

Well it shall goe hard but hee shall bee employd , O t is a most accomplisht asse , the mugrill of a Gull , and a villaine , the very essence of his soule is pure villany : The substance of his braine-foolery : one that beleeues nothing from the starres vpward . A Pagan in beleefe , an Epicure beyond beleefe , Prodigious in lust , Prodigall in wastfull expence , in necessary most penurious , his wit is to admire and imitate , his grace is to censure , and detract ; he shall to 'th Court , yfaith hee shall thither , I will shape such employement for him , as that hee himselfe shall haue no lesse contentment , in making myrth to the whole Court , then the Duke and the whole Court shall haue pleasure in enioying his presence . A knaue if hee be riche , is fit to make an Officer , As a Foole if hee bee a knaue is fit to make an Intelligencer .

Exeunt .
Actus secundi
Scena prima . Enter Digue , Licette , with Tapers . Dig.

What an order is this ? Eleuen a clooke at night is our Ladies morning , and her houre to rise at , as in the morning it is other Ladies houre : these Tapers are our Sunnes , with which we call her from her bed . But I pray thee Licette what makes the virgin Ladie , my Ladies sister , breake wind so continually , and sigh so tempestuously , I beleeue shee s in loue ?

Lycet.

With whom , can you tell ?

Dig.

Not very well , but certes that 's her disease , a man may cast her water in her face : The truth is , t' is no matter what she is , for there is little goodnesse in her , I could neuer yet finger one Cardicue of her bountie : And indeed all bountie now adayes is dead amongst Ladies . This same Bonitas is quite put downe amongst am . But see , Now we shall discouer the heauinesse of this virgine Ladie , I le eauesdroppe , and if it be possible , heare who is her Louer : For when this same amorous spirit possesses these young people , they haue no other subiect to talke of .

Enter Marcellina and Euryone . Eur.

O sister , would that matchlesse Earle euer haue wrongd his wife with iealousie ?

Mar.

Neuer .

Eury.

Good Lord what difference is in men ? but such a man as this was euer seen to loue his wife , euen after death so dearely , to liue with her in death ? To leaue the world and all his pleasures : all his friends and honours , as all were nothing , now his wife is gone , is it not strange ?

MAR.

Exceeding strange .

EVRY :

But sister should not the noble man be Chronicled if he had right , I pray you sister , should he not ?

Mar :

Yes , yes he should .

EVRY :

But did you euer heare of such a Noble gentleman : did you sister ?

MAR :

I tell you no :

EVRY:

And doe not you delight to heare him spoken of ? and prais'd , and honord ?

Doe you not Madame ?

MAR.

What should I say ? I doe ;

EVRY:

Why very well and should not euery woman that loues the Soueraigne honour of her Sexe , delight to heare him praisd as well as wee ?

Good Maddam answere hartely ?

MAR :

Yet againe who euer heard one talke so ?

EVRY : Talk so ? Why should not euery Lady talke so ? You thinke belike I loue the Noble man : Heauen is my iudge if I indeede his loue And honour to his Wife so after death : Would make a Fayry loue him , yet nor loue . But thinke the better of him , and sometimes , Talke of his loue or so ; But you know Maddam : I cald her sister , and if I loue him , It is but as my Brother I protest . An other within . VAND

Let me come in ; Sir you myst not enter :

MAR.

What rude disordred none is that within ?

LYCIT

I know not Maddam ,

DIQ.

How now ;

SIC :

Wher 's my Lady ?

MAR

What hast with you ?

SIC :

Maddame ther 's one at doore that askes to speake with you , admittes no answere but will enforce his passage to your honor .

MAR.

what insolent guest is that ?

EVRY. Who should he be ; That is so ignorant of your worth and custome : Enter an other Seruant . 2 LEC.

Maddam her sone hath drawne his rapier on vs and will come in he sayes .

MAR. T is is strange Rudenes , What is his name , doe you not know the man ? SIG.

No Maddam , t is too darke .

MAR. Then take a light , See if you know him , if not raise the streetes Exit LYCITTE walkes with a candle . EVRY.

And keepe the doore safe : what night-walker ' this , that hath not light enough to see his rudenes .

Enter LYCITTE in hast . LYCYT. O Maddame t is the Noble gentleman , Monsieur VANDOME your Seruant . EVRY :

Is it he ? is he returnd ?

MAR :

Hast commend me to him tel him I may not nor will not see him : for I haue vowd the contrary to all .

LYCIT.

Maddam , we told him so a hundred times yet he will enter :

[ within ]

Within : Hold , hold , keepe him back there :

MAR:

What rudenes what strange insolence is this :

Enter VANDOME . VAND : What hower is this ? what fashion ? what sad life : What superstition of vnholy vow ? What place is this ? O shall it ere be said Such perfect Iudgement should be drownd in Humor ? Such beauty consecrate to Batts and Owles : Here lyes the weapon that enforst my passage , Sought in my loue , sought in regard of you : For whom I will indure a thousand deaths , Rather then suffer you to perish thus And be the fable of the scornefull world ; Yf I offend you Lady kill me now , MAR: What shall I say ? Ahlas my worthy Seruant , I would to God I had not liu'd to be A fable to the worlde , a shame to thee . VAND

Deare mistris hear me & forbeare these humors .

MAR

Forbeare your vaine disswasions

VAND.

shall your iudgement ?

MAR.

I will not heare a word .

EXIT MARD EXIT MARC . VAND : Strange will in women ; What sayes my honorable virgin sister ? How is it you can brooke , this Batt-like life ? And sit as one withovt life ? EVRY : Would I were , If any man would kill me , I 'de forgiue him , VAN. O true fit of a maiden Melancholy ? Whence comes it , louely sister ? EVR: In my minde : Yourselfe hath small occasion to be meny : That are arriud on such a haples Shore : As beares the dead waight of so deare a Sister : For whose decease being my deare Sister vow'd . I shall for euer leade this desolate life . VAN. Now heauen forbid ; women in Loue with women ; Loues fire shines with too mutuall a refraction , And both wayes weakens his colde beames too much : To pierce so deeply t is not for her I know that you are thus impassiond . EVR:

For her I would be sworne and for her husband ,

VAN: I mary Sir , a quick man may doe much , In theise kinde of impressions . EVR: See how Idely . You vnderstand me ? theise same travallers , That can liue any where , make iests of any thing : And cast so farre from home , for nothing else : But to learne how they may cast of their friends , She had a husband does not cast her of so : O t is a rare , a Noble gentleman . Well well , there is some other Humor stirring , In your young bloud then a dead womans Loue : EVRY:

No , I le be sworne

VAND : Why is it possible ? That you , whose frolicke brest was euer filde , With all the spirits of a mirthfull Lady : Shovld be with such a sorrow so transform'd Your most sweet hand in touch of Instruments : Turnd to pick strawes , and fumble vpon Rushes ; Your heauenly voice , turnd into heauy sighes , And your rare wit to in a manner tainted . This cannot be , I know some other cause , Fashions this strange effect , and that my selfe : Am borne to find it out and be your cure : In any wound it forceth whatsoeuer , But if you wil not , tell me at your perill . EVRY :

Brother .

VAND.

Did you call ?

EVRY:

No 't is no matter .

VAND :

So then :

EVRY : Doe you heare ? Assur'd you are my kind and honor'd Brother , I le tell you all : VAND :

O will you doe so then ?

EVRY.

you will be secret ?

VAND :

Secret ? i st a secret ?

EVRY : No t is a triffle that torments one thus : Did euer man aske such a question , When he had brought a woman to this passe ? VAND :

What t is no Treason is it ?

EVRY :

Treason quoth he ?

VAND : Well if it be I will engage my quarters : With a faire Ladies ouen , tell the secret . EVRY : Attending oftentimes the Duke & Dutchesse , To visit the most passionate Earle your Brother : That Noble Gentleman . VAND :

Well said put in that ,

EVRY Put it in ? why ? y faith y' are such a man , I le tell no further , you are changed indeede . A trauaile quoth you ? VAND : Why what meanes this ? Come Lady fourth , I would not loose the thankes The credit and the honor I shall haue : For that most happy Good I know in Fate , I am to furnish thy desires withall : For all this house in Gold , EVRY Thanke you good Brother : Attending ( as I say ) the Duke and Dutchesse To the sad Earle . VAND :

That noble gentleman ?

EVRY :

Why I he not ?

VAND : Be shrew my hart else , The Earle quoth you , he cast not of his Wife . EVRY :

Nay looke you now ,

VAND :

Why does he pray ?

EVRY :

Why no :

VAN.

Foorth then I pray , you louers are so captious

EVRY: When I obseru'd his constance in Loue : His honor of his deere wiues memory , His woe for her , his life with her in death : I grew in loue , euen with his very mind . VAND :

O with his mind ?

EVR:

I by my soule no more ,

VAND : A good mind certainly is a good thing : And a good thing you know . EVR. That is the chiefe : The body without that , Ahlas is nothing : And this his mind cast such a fier into me : That it hath halfe consum'd me , since it lov'd His Wife so dearely that was deere to me And euer I am saying to my selfe : {non-Roman} {non-Roman} then happy should that woman be : That had her honord place in his true loue But as for me I know I haue no reason . To hope for such a honor at his hands . VAND : What at the Earles hands : I thinke so indeede , Heauen I beseech thee was your loue so simple : T' nflame itselfe with him ? why hee 's a husband : For any Princesse any Queene or Empresse : The Ladies of this land would teare him peece-meale : ( As did the drunken Froes , the THRATIAN HARPER ) To mary but a lymbe , a looke of him , Heauens my sweet comfort : Set your thoughts on him ? EVR. O cruell man , dissembling trauailer , Euen now you took vpon you to be sure It was in you to satisfie my longings , And whatsoeuer t' were , you would procure it , O you were borne to doe me good , you know . You would not loose the credit and the honor . You should haue by my satistaction ? For all this house in Gold the very Fates , And you were all one in your power to help me . And now to come and wonder at my folly . Mocke me ? and make my Loue impossible Wretch that I was , I did not keepe it in , VAN. Alas poore sister ; when a greefe is growne . Full home , and to the deepest then it breakes . And ioy ( Sunn like ] out of a black cloude shineth . But couldst thou thinke yfaith I was in earnest : To esteeme any man without the reach Of thy far-shooting beauties any name ? Too Good to subscribe to EVRIONE : Here is my hand , if euer I were thought A gentleman or would be still esteemd so I will so vertuously solicite for thee : And with such cunning wind into his heart , That I sustaine no doubt I shall dissolue His setled Melancholy be it nere so grounded . On rationall loue , and graue Philosophy , I know my sight will cheere him at the heart : In whom a quick forme of my deare deade Sister Will fire his heauy spirrits . And all this May worke that change in him , that nothing else Hath hope to ioy in , and so farewel Sister Some few dayes hence , I le tell thee how I speed . EVR, Thankes honord Brother : but you shall not goe before you dine with your best loued Mistris . Come in sweet Brother : VAND : In to dinner now ? Midnight would blush , at that farewell , farewell : EVR: Deere Brother doe but drinke or tast a Banquet y-faith I haue most excellent conserues You shall come in , in earnest , stay a little Or will you drinke some Cordial stilld waters , After your trauel , pray thee worthy brother Vpon my loue you shall stay ? sweet now enter . VAND : Not for the world , commend my humble seruice , And vse all meanes to bring abroad my Mistris . EVR:

I will in sadnes ; farewell happy brother .

Exeunt . ENTER PHILLIP . GVEAQ . IERONNIME . & MVGERON . GVEAQ . & IERO sit down to worke PHIL. Come MVGERON , where is this worthy states man , That you and Rhoderique would perswade : To be our worthy Agent into France , The couller we shal lay on it t' inter , The body of the long deceased Countesse , The French Kings neece , whom her kind husband keepes With such great cost , and care from buriall : Will shew as probable as can be thought . Thinke you he can be gotten to performe it MVG : Feare not my Lo : The wizzard is as forward , To vsurpe greatnes , as all greatnes is : To abuse vertue , or as riches honor . You cannot loade the Asse with too much honor . He shall be yours my Lord Rhoderique and I , Will giue him to your highnes for your foote-cloth : PHIL:

How happens it , he liud conceald so long ,

MVG: It is his humor sir , for he sayes still , His iocund mind loues pleasure aboue honor , His swindge of liberty aboue his life , It is not safe ( sayes he ] to build his nest So neere the Eagle , his mind is his Kingdome His chamber is a Court of all good witts , And many such rare sparkes of Resolution , He blesseth his most loued selfe withall , As presently , your excellence shall heare . But this is one thing I had halfe forgotten . With which your highnes needs must be prepar'd , I haue discourst with him about the office : Of an Ambassador , and he stands on this . That when he once hath kist your Highnes hand , And taken his dispatch he then presents : Your Highnes parson hath your place and power , Must put his hat on , vse you , as you him : That you may see before he goes how well , He can assume your presence and your greatnes PHIL.

And will he practise his new state before vs ?

MVG: I and vpon you too , and kisse your Dutchesse , As you vse at your parting . PHIL:

Out vpon him , she will not let him kisse her

MVG:

He will kisse her to doe your parson right ,

PHIL: It will be excellent : She shall not know this till he offer it : MVG:

See see , he comes ,

Enter Rhod Mons : Doliue & Pa que . RHO. Heere is the gentleman Your highnes doth desire to doe you honor In the presenting of your princely parson And going Lord Ambassador to 'th French King , PHIL: Is this the gentleman whose worth so highly You recommend to our election ? AMBO :

This is the man my Lord

PHIL: Wee vnderstand Sir : We haue beene wrongd , by being kept so long From notice of your honorable parts Wherein your country claimes a deeper intrest Then your meere priuate selfe ; what makes wise Nature Fashion in men thiese excellent perfections Of haughty courage , great wit , wisedome incredible , DOLI :

It pleaseth your good excellence to say so

PHI: But that she aymes therein at publique good And you in duty thereto of your selfe Ought to haue made vs render of your parts And nor entombe them tirant-like aliue RHO: We for our parts , my Lord are not in fault , For we haue spurnd him forward euermore Letting him know how fit an instrument He was to play vpon in stately Musique , MVG, And if he had bin ought else but an Asse Your Grace ere this time long had made him great Did not we tell you this ? DOLI : Often times , But sure my honord Lord the times before Were not as now they be thankes to our fortune That we inioy so sweet and wise a prince As is your gratious selfe ; for then it was pollicie To keepe all with of hope still vnder hatches Farre from the Court least their exceeding parts Should ouer shine those that were then in place And t' was our happines , that we might liue so For in that freely choos'd obscuritie Wee found our safetie , which men most of Note Many times lost , and I ahlas for my part , Shrunk my despised head in my poore shell For your learn'd excellence , I ●o●ow knows well Qui bene saturi , bene vixit , still . PHI, T was much you could containe your selfe , that had So great meanes to haue liu'd in greater place : DOL: Faith Sir I had a poore roofe or a paint house To shade me from the Sunne , and three or foure tyles To shrow'd me from the Rayne , and thought my selfe As private as I had King Giris Ring And could haue gone invisible , yet saw all That past our states rough be a born neere and farre , There saw I our great Galeasses tost Vpon the wallowing waues , vp with one billow And then downe with another : Our great men Like to a Masse of clowds that now seeme like An Elephant , and straight wayes like an Oxe And then a Mouse , or like those changeable creatures That liue in the Burdello , now in Satten Tomorrow next in Stammell . When I sate all this while in my poore cell Secure of lightning , or the sodaine Thunder Conuerst with the poore Muses gaue a scholler Forty or fiftie crownes a yeare to teach me And prate to me about the predicables When indeede my thoughts flew a higher pitch Then Genus and Species as by this tast I hope your highnes happyly perceiues And shall hereafter more at large approue If any worthy oportunitie Make but her fore topp subiect to my hold And so I leaue your Grace to the tuition Of him that made you . RHO: Soft good Sir I pray : What sayes your Excellence to this gentleman ? Haue I not made my word good to your highnes ? PHI: Well Sir , how euer Enuious policie Hath rob'd ? my predicessors of your seruice You must not scape my hands , that haue design'd present employment for you ; and t is this T' is not vnknowne vnto you ; with what griefe Wee take the sorrow of the Earle Saint Anne For his deceased wife ; with whose dead sight Hee feeds his passion , keeping her from right Of christian buriall , to make his eyes Doe pennance by their euerlasting teares For loosing the deare sight of her quick bewties DOL: Well spoke y-faith , your grace must giue me leaue To praise your witt , for faith t is rarely spoken PHIL: The better for your good commendation But Sir your Ambassy to the French King Shall be to this effect ; thus you shall say DOL: Not so your Excellence shall pardon me I will not haue my tale put in my mouth If you 'le deliuer me your mind in grose Why so I shall expresse it as I can I warrant you t'wilbe sufficient . PHIL: T' is very good , then Sir my will in grose Is that in pitty of the sad Countes case The King would aske the body of his Neece To giue it Funerall fitting her high blood , Which ( as your selfe requires and reason wills ) I leaue to be enforst and amplyfied With all the Ornaments of Arte and Nature Which flowes I see in your sharp intellect DOL: Ahlas you cannot see 't in this short time Bur there be , some not far hence that haue seene And heard me too ere now : I could haue wisht Your highnes presence in a priuat Conuenticle At what time the high point of state was handled ? PHIL:

What was the point ?

DOL: It was my happ to make a number there My selfe ( as euery other Gentleman ) Beeing interested in that graue affayre Where I deliner'd my opinion : how well ? DOL: What was the matter pray The matter , Sir . Was of an antient subiect , and yet newly Cald into question ; And t' was this in breefe We sate as I remember all in rowe , All sorts of men together , A Squier and a Carpenter , a Lawier and a Sawier . A Marchant and a Broker , a Iustice and a peasant and so forth without all difference PHIL:

But what was the matter ?

DOL. Faith a stale argument though newly handled And I am fearefull I shall shame my selfe The subiect is so thred bare PHIL:

T is no matter be as it wil go to y point I pray ,

DOL: Then thus it is : the question of estate ( Or the state of the question ) was in briefe whether in an Aristocrasie Or in a Democriticall estate Tobacco might be brought to lawfull vse But had you heard the excellent speches there Touching this part : MVG: RHO:

Pray thee to the point

DOL: First to the point then , Vpstart a weauer , blowne vp b' inspiration That had borne office in the congregation A little fellow and yet great in spirit I neuer shall forget him ; for he was A most hot liuer'd enemie to Tobacco His face was like the ten of Diamonds Pointed each where with pushes , and his Nose Was like the Ase of clubs ( which I must tell you

Was it that set him , and Tobacco first at such hot Enmitie for that nose of his ( according to the Puritannick cut ] hauing a narrow bridge , and this Tobacco : being in drink durst not passe by and finding stopt his narrow passage fled backe as it came and went away in Pett .

MVG:

Iust cause of quarrell

PHI:

But pray thee briefely say what said the weauer

DOL: The weauer Sir much like a virginal iack Start nimbly vp ; the culler of his beard I scarse remember ; but purblind he was With the GENEVA print , and wore one eare Shorter then tother for a difference PHI:

A man of very open note it seemes

DOL: He was so Sir , and hotly he envaid Against Tobacco ( with a most strong breath For he had eaten garlicke the same morning As t' was his vse partly against ill ayres Partly to make his speeches sauorie Said t' was a pagan plant , a prophane weede And a most sinful smoke , that had no warrant Out of the word ; inuented sure by Sathan In theise our latter dayes , to cast a mist Before mens eyes , that they might not behold The grosenes of olde superstition Which is as t' were deriu'd into the church From the fowle sincke of Romish popery And that it was a iudgement on our land That the svbstantiall commodities . And mighty blessings of this Realme of France Bells , Rattles , hobby horses and such like Which had brought so much wealth into the Land Should now be changd into the smoke of vanitie The smoke of superstition ; for his owne part He held a Garlick cloue being sanctifyed Did edifie more the body of a man Then a whole tin of this prophane Tobacco Being tane without thankes-giuing ; in a word He said it was a ragge of Popery ? And none that were truely regenerate would Prophane his Nosthrils with the smoke thereof And speaking of your grace behind your back , He chargd and coniur'd you to see the vse , Of vaine Tobacco banisht from the land For feare least for the great abuse thereof Or candle were put out ; and there with all Taking his handker-chiefe to wipe his mouth As he had told a lie , he tun'd his noise To the olde straine as if he were preparing For a new exercise , But I my selfe [ Angry to heare this generous Tabacco The Gentlemans Saint and the souldiers idoll So ignorantly poluted ] stood me vp Tooke some Tabacco for a complement Brake fleame some twice or thrice , then shooke mine eares And lickt my lipps , as if I begg'd attention and so directing me to your sweet Grace Thus I replyed , RHO:

MVG : Rome for a speach there . Silence

DOL.

I am amused , or I am in a quandarie gentlemen [ for in good faith I remember not well whether of them was my words ]

PHI:

T is no matter either of them will serue the turne

DOL:

Whether I should ( as the Poet sayes ) eloquar , an siliam ? whether by answering a foole I should my selfe seeme no lesse ; or by giving way to his winde ( for words are but winde ) I might betray the cause ; to the maintaynance whereof , all true Troyans ( from whose race we claime our decent ] owe all their patrimonies ; and if neede be their dearest blood , and their sweetest breath . I would not be tedious to your highnes :

PHI:

You are not Sir : Proceede :

DOL:

TABACCO that excellent plant , the vse whereof [ as of fift Element ] the world cannot want , is that little shop of Nature , wherein her whole workeman-ship is abridg'd , where you may see Earth-kindled into fier , the fire breath out an exhalation , which entring in at the mouth walkes through the Regions of a mans brayne , driues out all ill Vapours but it selfe , downe all bad Humors by the mouth which in time might breed a Scabbe ouer the whole body if already they haue not ; a plant of singular vse , for on the one side , Nature being an Enemie to Vacuitie and emptines , and on the other , there beeing so many empty braines in the World as there are , how shall Natures course be continued ? How shall thiese empty braines be filled , but with ayre Natures immediate instrument to that purpose ? If with ayre , what so proper as your fume : what fume so healthfull as your perfume ? what perfume so soueraigne as Tabacco ? Besides the excellent edge it giues a mans wit , [ as they can best iudge that haue beene present at a feast of Tobacco where commonly all good witts are consorted ] what varietie of discourse it begetts ? What sparkes of wit it yeelds , it is a world to heare as likewise to the courage of a man , for if it be true , that Iohannes de sauo et sauo et writes , that hee that drinkes Veriuice pisseth vinegere , Then it must needs follow to be as true , that hoe that eates smoke , farts fire ; for Garlicke I will not say because it is a plant of our owne country ? but it may cure the diseases of the country , but for the diseases of the Court , they are out of the Element of Garlick to medicine ; to conclude as there is no enemy to Tabacco but Garlick , so there is no friend to Garlick , but a sheeps head and so I conclude .

PHIL: Well Sir , Yf this be but your Naturall vaine I must confesse I knew you not indeede When I made offer to instruct your brayne For the Ambassage , and will trust you now If t' were to send you foorth to the great Turke With an Ambassage DOL: But Sir in conclusion T' was orderd for my speach , that since Tobacco Had so long bin in vse , it should thence foorth Be brought to lawfull vse ; but limitted thus That none should dare to take it but a gentleman Or he that had some gentlemanly humor The Murr , the Head-ach , the Cattar , the bone ach Or other branches of the sharpe salt Rhewme Fitting a gentleman . RHO: Your grace has made choise Of a most simple Lo : Ambassador PHI: Well Sir you neede not looke for a commission My hand shall well dispatch you for this busines Take now the place and state of an Ambassador Present our parson and performe our charge And so farewell good Lord Ambassador DOL:

Farewell good Duke and GVEAQVIN to thee

GVE :

How now you foole ? out you presumptious gull

D'OL: How now you baggage ? Sfoote are you so coy To the Dukes parson , to his second selfe ? are you to good dame to enlarge yourselfe Vnto your proper obiect ? slight t were a good deede GVE :

What meanes your grace to suffer me abus'd thus

PHI: Sweet Loue be pleas'd ; you do not know this Lord Giue me thy hand my Lord : DOL:

And giue me thine

PHIL:

Farewell againe

D'OL:

Farewell againe to thee

PHI:

Now go thy ways for an ambassador

Exiunt PHIL Gueaque Iero : DOL:

Now goe thy wayes for a Duke

MVG: RHO:

Most excellent Lord ,

RHO. Why this was well performd and like a Duke Whose parson you most naturally present D'OL: I told you I would doo 't , now I le begin To make the world take notice I am noble The first thing I will doe I le sweare to pay No debts vpon my honor . MVG:

A good cheape proofe of your Nobilitie

D'ol. But if I knew where I might pawne mine honor , For some odd thousand Crownes , it shal be layd : I le pay 't againe when I haue done withall : Then t will be expected I shal be of some Religion , I must thinke of some for fashion , or for faction sake , As it becomes great personages to doe : I le thinke vpon 't betwixt this and the day . Rho.

Well sayd my Lord ; this Lordship of yours wil worke a mighty alteration in you : do you not feele it begins to worke alreadie ?

D'ol.

Fayth onely in this ; it makes mee thinke , how they that were my Companions before , shall now be my fauorites : They that were my Friends before , shall now be my followers : They that were my Seruants before , shall now be my knaues : But they that were my Creditors before , shall remaine my Creditors still .

Mug.

Excellent Lord : Come , will you shew your Lordship in the Presence now ?

D'ol.

Faith I do not care , if I go and make a face or two there , or a few gracefull legges ; speake a little Italian , and away ; there 's all a Presence doth require .

FINIS ACTVS SECVNDI .
ACTVS TERTII .
Saena prima . Enter Uandome . and St. Anne . St. Anne . YOu haue enclinde me more to leaue this life , Then I supposde it possible for an Angell ; Nor is your iudgement to suppresse your passion : For so deare lou'd a Sister ( being as well Your blood and flesh , as mine ) the least enforcement Of your disswasiue arguments . And besides , Your true resemblance of her , much supplies Her want in my affections ; with all which , I feele in these deepe griefes , to which I yeeld A kind of falce sluggish ( and rotting sweetnes , ) Mixt with an humour where all things in life , Lie drownd in sower , wretched , and horred thoughts : The way to cowardly desperation opened , And whatsoeuer vrgeth soules accurst : To their destruction , and sometimes their plague , So violently gripes me , that I lie Whole dayes and nightes bound at his tirranous feete : So that my dayes are not like life or light , But bitterest death , and a continuall night . Uand. The ground of all is vnsuffised Loue , Which would be best casd with some other obiect : The generall rule of Naso being autentique Quod successore nouo vincitur omnis Amor : For the affections of the minde drawne foorth In many currents , are not so impulsiue In anie one ; And so the Persian King Made the great Riuer Ganges runn distinctly In an innumerable sort of Channels ; By which meanes , of a fierce and dangerous Flood , He turnd it into many pleasing Riuers : So likewise is an Armie disarayd , Made penetrable for the assaulting foe : So huge Fiers being deffused , grow asswadgd : Lastly , as all force being vnite , increaseth ; So being dispearst , it growes lesse sharpe , and ceaseth . S. Anne . Ahlas , I know I cannot loue another , My hart accustomd to loue onely her , My eyes accustomd to view onely her , Will tell me whatsoeuer is not her , is foule and hatefull . Uand. Yet forbeare to keepe her Still in your sight : force not her breathles body Thus against Nature to suruiue , being dead : Let it consume , that it may reassume A forme incorruptible ; and refraine The places where you vsde to ioy in her : Heu fuge dilectas terras , fuge littus Amatum : For how can you be euer sound or safe , Where in so many red steps of your wounds , Gaspe in your eyes ? with change of place be sure , Like sicke men mending , you shall find recure . Enter the Duke , D'oliue , Gueaquin , Ieronime , Muge , Rhod. to see the dead Countesse that is kept in her attire vnburied . D'ol.

Fayth Madam , my companie may well be spard at so mournefull a visitation : For , by my soule , to see Pigmalion dote vpon a Marble Picture , a senceles Statue , I should laugh and spoyle the Tragedie .

Gur.

Oh , t is an obiect full of pittie my Lord .

D'ol.

T is pittie in deed , that any man should loue a woman so constantly .

Duke .

Bitterly turnd my Lord : we must still admire you .

D'ol.

Tush my Lord , true Manhood can neither mourne nor admire : It 's fitt for Women , they can weepe at pleasure , euen to admiration .

Gur.

But men vse to admire rare things , my Lord ,

D'ol.

But this is nothing rare ; T is a vertue common for men to loue their Wiues after death : The value of a good Wife ( as all good things else ) are better knowne by their want , then by their fruition : for no man loues his Wife so well while she lines , but he loues her ten times better when shee 's dead .

Rho.

This is sound Philosophie , my Lord .

D'ol.

Faith , my Lord , I speake my thoughts ; and for mine owne part , I should so ill indure the losse of a Wife ( alwayes prouided , I lou'd her ) that if I lost her this weeke , I 'de haue another by the beginning a' th next : And thus resolu'd , I leaue your Highnes to deale with Atropos , for cutting my Ladyes threed : I am for France ; all my care is for Followers to Imp out my Traine : I feare I must come to your Grace for a Presse ; for I will be followd as becomes an honorable Lord : and that is , like an honest Squire : for with our great Lords , followers abrod , and Hospitalitie at home , are out of date : The world 's now growne thriftie : He that fils a whole Page in folio , with his Stile ; thinkes it veriest Noble , to be mand with one bare Page and a Pandare ; and yet Pandare in auntient time , was the name of an honest Courtier ; what t is now , Viderit vtilitas : Come Witts , let 's to my Chamber .

Exeunt . Manent Vando . S. An. Uando. Well now my Lord , remember all the reasons And arguments I vsde at first to you , To draw you from your hurtfull passions : And there withall , admit one further cause , Drawne from my loue , and all the powers I haue ; Euryone , vow'd sister to my sister , Whose vertues , beauties , and perfections , Adorne our Countrie , and do neerest match With her rich graces , that your loue adores , Hath wounded my affections ; and to her I would intreat your Lordships gracefull word : S. Anne . But is it true ? Loues my deare brother now ? It much delights me , for your choyce is Noble : Yet need you not vrge me to come abrode , Your owne worth will suffize for your wisht speed . Uand. I know my Lord , no man aliue can winn Her resolu'd iudgment from virginitie , Vnlesse you speake for him , whose word of all Dames Is held most sweet , and worthie to perswade them . S. Anne . The world will thinke mee too phantasticall , To ope so sodenly my vow'd obscurenes . Uand. My Lord , my loue is suddaine , and requires A suddaine remedie : If I be delayed , Consider Loues delay breedes desperation , By waighing how strongly Loue workes in your selfe . S. Anne . Deare Brother , nothing vnderneath the Starres , Makes mee so willing to pertake the ayre , And vndergo the burden of the world , As your most worthy selfe , and your wisht good : And glad I am that by this meanes I may See your descent continued , and therein Behold some new borne Image of my wife : Deare life , take knowledge that thy Brothers loue , Makes me dispaire with my true zeale to thee : And if for his sake I admit the Earth To hide this treasure of thy pretious beauties ; And that thy part suruiuing , be not pleasd , Let it appeare to mee ye iust assisters Of all intentions bent to soueraigne iustice ; And I will follow it into the Graue , Or dying with it ; or preserue it thus , As long as any life is left betwixt vs . Exeunt . Enter Monseuer , D'oliue , Rhoderique . D'ol.

But didst note what a presence I came of with-all ?

Rho. Sfoot , you drew the eyes of the whole presence vpon you : There was one Ladie a man might see her hart Readie to start out of her eyes to follow you . D'ol. But Monseuer Mustapha there kept state , When I accosted him ; s'light the Brasen head lookt to be Worshipt I thinke : No I le commit no Idolatrie for the proudest Image of 'am all , I . Rho.

Your Lordship has the right garbe of an excellent Courtier , respects a Clowne , supple ioynted , courtesies a verie peagoose ; t is stiffe ham'd audacity that carries it ; get once within their distance , and you are in their bosoms instantly .

D'ol.

S'hart doe they looke ? I should stande aloofe , like a Scholares , & make leggs at their greatnes : No I le none of that ; come vp close to him , giue him a clap a' th shoulder shall make him crie oh againe : it 's a tender place to deale withal , and say , Well encounterd noble Brutus .

Rho.

That 's the onely way indeed to be familiar .

D'ol.

S'foot I le make leggs to none , vnlesse it be to a Iustice of peace when he speakes in 's Chaire , or to a Cunstable when he leanes on 's Staffe , that 's flat : softnes and modestie sauors of the Cart , t is boldnes boldnes does the deed in the Court : and as your Camelion varries all cullours a' th Rainebow both white and red , so must your true Courtier be able to varrie his countenance through all humors ; State , Strangnes , Scorne , Mirth , Melanchollie , Flatterie , and so foorth : some cullours likewise his face may change vpon occasion , Blacke or Blew it may , Tawnie it may ; but Redd and White at no hand , auoyde that like a Sergeant : keepe your cullour stiffe , vnguiltie of passion or disgrace , not changing White at sight of your Mercer , nor Red at sight of your Surgeon : aboue all sinnes , heauen sheild mee from the sinne of blushing ; it does ill in a young Waighting-woman , but monstrous monstrous , in an old Courtier .

Rho.

Well , all this while your Lordship forgets your Ambassage ; you haue giuen out , you will be gone within this moneth , and yet nothing is readie .

D'ol.

It s no matter , let the Moone keepe her course : and yet to say trueth , t' were more then time I were gone , for by heauen I am so haunted with Followers , euerie day new offers of Followers : But heauen shield me from any more Followers .

How now , what 's the newes ?

Enter Muge , and two others . Mug.

My Lord , heere 's two of my speciall Friends , whom I would gladly commend to follow you in the honorable action .

D'ol.

S'foote , my eares are double lockt against Followers , you know my number 's full , all places vnder mee are bestowde : I le out of towne this night tha't 's infallible ; I le no more Followers , a mine honour .

Mug.

S'light Lord , you must entertaine them , they haue paid me their income , and I haue vndertaken your Lordshippe shall grace them .

D'ol.

Well my Maisters , you might haue come at a time when your entertainement would haue proou'd better then now it is like : but such as it is , vpon the commendation of my Steward here

Mug.

A pox a your Lor . Steward ?

D'ol.

Y' are welcome in a word : deserue and spie out .

Ambo.

Wee humbly thanke your Lordship .

D'ol.

Mugeron , let 'am be enterd .

Mug.

In what rancke my Lord , Gentlemen or Yomen ?

D'ol.

Gentlemen , Their bearing berayes no lesse , it goes not alwayes by apparrell : I do alow you to suite your selues anew in my Cullours at your owne charges .

Amb.

Thanke your good Lordship .

D'ol.

Thy name first , I pray thee ?

Cor.

Cornelius , My Lord .

D'ol.

What profession ?

Cor.

A Surgeon an 't please your Lordship .

D'ol.

I had rather th'hadst been a Barber , for I thinke there wil be little blood-shed amongst my Followers , vnlesse it be of thy letting : I le see their nailes parde before they goe . And yet now I bethinke my selfe , our Ambassage is into Fraunce , there may be employment for thee : hast thou a Tubbe ?

Cor.

I would be loth , my Lord , to be dislocated or vnfurnisht of any of my properties .

D'ol.

Thou speak'st like thy selfe Cornelius : booke him downe Gentleman .

Mug.

Verie well Sir .

D'ol.

Now your profession , I pray ?

Frip.

Fripperie , my Lord , or as some tearme it , Petty Prokery .

D'ol.

An honest man I le warrant thee , I neuer knew other of thy trade .

Frip. Trulie a richer your Lordship might haue , An honester I hope not . D'ol.

I beleeue thee Pettie Broker : canst burne Gold-lace ?

Frip.

I can do anie thing , my Lord , belonging to my trade .

D'ol.

Booke him downe Gentleman , hee le do good vpon the voyage I warrant him : prouide thee a Nagge Pettie Broker , thou 'l finde employment for him doubt not : keepe thy selfe an honest man , and by our returne I doe not doubt but to see thee a rich Knaue : Farewel Pettie Broker , prepare your selues against the day ; this Gentleman shall acquaint you with my Cullours : Farewell Fripper , Farewell Pettie Broker : Deserue and spie out is my Motto .

Exeunt . Amb.

God continue your Lordship .

Rho. A verie seasonable praier , For vnknowne to him , it lies now vpon his death-bedd . D'ol.

And how like you my Chamber good Witts ?

Rho.

Excellent well Sir .

D'ol.

Nay beleeue it , it shall do well ( as you will say ) when you see 't set foorth sutable to my proiect :

Here shall stand my Court Cupbord , with it furniture of Plate : Heere shall runne a Wind Instrument : Heere shall hang my base Viall : Heere my Theorbo : and heere will I hang my selfe .

Amb.

T will do admirable well .

D'ol. But how will I hange my selfe good witts ? Not in person , but in Picture ; I will be drawne . Rho.

What hangd and drawne too ?

D'ol.

Good againe : I say I wil be drawne , all in compleat Satten of some Courtly cullour , like a Knight of Cupids band ; On this side shal be ranckt Chaires and Stooles , and other such complements of a Chamber : This corner will be a conuenient roome for my Close stoole : I acquaint you with all my priuities , you see .

Mug.

I Sir , we smell your meaning .

D'ol.

Heere shal be a Peartch for my Parrat , while I remaine vnmarried , I shall haue the lesse misse of my Wife : Heere a Hoope for my Munckie when I am married , my wife will haue the lesse misse of mee : Heere will I haue the statue of some excellent Poet , and I will haue his Nose goe with a Vice ( as I haue seene the experience ) And that ( as if t 'had taken cold i' th head , )

Rho.

For want of a guilt Nightcap .

D'ol.

Bitter still , shall like a Spout runne pure Witt all day long ; and it shal be fedd with a Pipe brought at my charge , from Helicon , ouer the Alpes , and vnder the Sea by the braine of some great Enginer ; and I thinke t will do excellent .

Mug.

No question of that , my Lord .

D'ol.

Well , now Witts about your seueral charges touching my Ambassage : Rhoderique , is my Speach put out to making ?

Rho.

It s almost done .

D'ol.

T is well , tell him he shall haue fourtie Crownes ; promisse , promisse ; want for no promising : And well remembred , haue I ere a Gentleman Vsher yet ; a strange thing , amongst all my followers , not one has witt enough to be a Gentleman Vsher , I must haue one ther 's no remedie ; Fare-well : haue a care of my Followers , all but my pettie Broker , hee le shift for him selfe .

Rho.

Well , let vs alone for your followers .

Exeunt . Manet D'oliue . D'ol.

Well said , deserue and spie out

Amb.

Me thanke your Lordship .

D'ol.

Heauen I beseech thee , what an abhominable sort of Followers haue I put vpon mee : These Courtiers feed on 'am with my countenaunce : I can not looke into the Cittie , but one or other makes tender of his good partes to me , either his Language , his Trauaile , his Intelligence , or something : Gentlemen send me their younger Sonnes furnisht in compleat , to learne fashions for-sooth ; as if the riding of fiue hundred miles , & spending 1000 . Crownes would make 'am wiser then God meant to make 'am . Others with-child with the trauailing humor , as if an Asse for going to Paris , could come home a Courser of Naples : Others are possest with the humor of Gallantrie , fancie it to be the onelie happinesse in this world , to be enabled by such a coolor to carrie a Feather in his Crest , weare Gold-lace , guilt Spurs , & so sets his fortunes on t : Turnes two or three Tenements into Trunckes , and creepes home againe with lesse then a Snayle , not a House to hide his head in : Three hundred of these Gold-finches I haue entertained for my Followers ; I can go in no corner , but I meete with some of my Wifflers in their accoutraments ; you may heare 'am halfe a mile ere they come at you , and smell 'am halfe an hower after they are past you ; sixe or seauen make a perfect Morrice-daunce ; they need no Bells , their Spurs serue their turne : I am ashamd to traine 'am abroade , they le say I carrie a whole Forrest of Feathers with mee , and I should plod afore 'am in plaine stuffe , like a writing Schole-maister before his Boyes when they goe a feasting : I am afraid of nothing but I shall be Ballated , I and all my Wifflers : But it s no matter , I le fashion 'am , I le shew 'am fashions : By heauen I le giue three parts of 'am the slipp , let 'am looke sort : and yet to say trueth , I shall not need , for if I can but linger my Iorney another moneth , I am sure I shall mute halfe my Feathers ; I feele 'am begin to weare thinne alreadie : There 's not tenne Crownes in twentie a their purses : And by this light , I was told at Court , that my greasie Host of the Porcupine last Holiday , was got vp to the eares in one of my Followers Satten suites ; And Uandome went so farre , that he swore he saw two of them hangd : My selfe indeed passing yesterday by the Fripperie , spide two of them hang out at a stall with a gambrell thrust from shoulder to shoulder , like a Sheepe that were new flead : T is not for nothing that this Pettie Broker followes me ; The Vulture smels a pray ; not the Carcases , but the Cases of some of my deceassed Followers ; S'light , I thinke it were my wisest course , to put tenne poundes in stocke with him , and turne pettie Broker ; certainelie there 's good to be done upon 't ; if we be but a day or two out of towne heele be able to load euerie day a fresh Horse with Satten suites , and send them backe hither : indeed t is like to be hot trauaile , and therefore t'wilbe an case to my Followers to haue their cloathes at home afore 'am ; They le on , get off how they can : Little know they what Pikes their Feathers must passe : Before they goe the Sergeants , when they come home the Surgeons : but chuse them , I le wash my hands on 'am .

Exit .
FINIS ACTVS TERTII .
ACTVS QVARTI .
Saena prima . Uandome solus . MY Sisters Exequies are now performed VVith such pompe as exprest the excellence Of her Lords loue to her : And firde the enuie Of our great Duke , who would haue no man equall The honour he does t' his adored wife : And now the Earle ( as he hath promist mee ) Is in this sad Cell of my honord Mistresse , Vrging my loue to faire Euryone , VVhich I framde , onely to bring him abrode , And ( if it might succeed ) make his affectes VVith change of obiectes , change his helples sorrow To helpfull loue . I stood where I obserud Their wordes and lookes , and all that past betwixt them : And shee hath with such cunning borne her selfe , In fitting his affection , with pretending Her mortified desires : her onely loue To Vertue and her louers : and , in briefe , Hath figurd with such life my deare dead Sister , Enchasing all this , with her heightned Beautie , That I beleeue she hath entangld him , And wonn successe to our industrious plot . If he be toucht , I know it greiues his soule , That hauing vndertane to speake for mee , ( Imagining my loue was as I fainde ) His owne loue to her , should enforce his tongue To court her for himselfe , and deceaue mee : By this time , we haue tried his passionate blood : If he be caught ( as heauen vouchsafe he be ) I le play a little with his Phantasie . Enter St. Anne . S. Anne . Am I alone ? Is there no Eye nor Eare That doth obserue mee ? Heauen how haue I graspt , My Spirrits in my hart , that would haue burst To giue wisht issue to any violent loue ? Dead Wife excuse me , since I loue thee still , That liu'st in her , whom I must loue for thee : For he that is not mou'd with strongest passion In viewing her ; that man did ne're know thee : Shee 's thy suruiuing Image : But woo's mee ; Why am I thus transported past my selfe ? Uan. Oh , are your dull vxorious spirrits raisd ? One madnesse doth be another still . St. Anne . But stay , Aduise mee Soule ; why didst thou light me ouer this threshold ? was 't to wrong my Brother ? To wrong my Wife , in wronging of my Brother ? I le die a miserable man : No villane : Yet in this case of loue , who is my Brother ? Who is my Father ? Who is any kinn ? I care not , I am nearest to my selfe : I will pursue my Passion ; I will haue her . Uan. Traytor , I heere arrest thee in the names Of Heauen , and Earth , and deepest Acheron : Loues traytor , Brothers ; traytor to thy Wife . S. Anne . O Brother , stood you so neare my dishonour ? Had you forborne awhile , all had been changd : You know the variable thoughts of Loue , You know the vse of Honour , that will euer Retire into it selfe ; and my iust blood Shall rather flow with Honour then with Loue : Be you a happie Louer , I a friend , For I will die for loue of her and thee . Uand. My Lord and brother , I le not challenge more , In loue and kindnes then my loue deserues , That you haue found one whom your hart can like : And that One , whom we all sought to preferre , To make you happie in a life renewde : It is a heauen to mee , by how much more My hart imbrac't you for my Sisters loue : T is true , I did dissemble loue t'Euryone . To make you happie in her deare affection , Who more dotes on you , then you can on her : Enioy Euryone , shee is your owne , The same that euer my deare Sister was : And heauen blesse both your loues as I release All my faind loue , and interest to you . S. Anne . How Noblie hath your loue deluded mee ? How iustlie haue you beene vniust to mee ? Let mee embrace the Oracle of my good , The Aucthor and the Patron of my life . Uand. Tush , betwixt vs my Lord , what need these tearmes ? As if we knew not one another yet ? Make speed my Lord , and make your Nuptials short , As they are sodaine blest in your desires . S Anne .

Oh I wish nothing more then lightning hast .

Uan. Stay , one word first my Lord ; You are a sweet brother To put in trust , and woo loue for another ? S. Anne .

Pray thee no more of that .

Vand.

Well then be gone , my Lord , her brother comes .

Exit S. Anne . Enter Vaum. Vaum. Most happie Friend , How hath our plot succeeded ? Uand. Hee 's our owne . His blood was framde for euerie shade of vertue , To rauish into true inamourate fire : The Funerall of my Sister must be held With all solemnitie , and then his Nuptialls , With no lesse speed and pompe be celebrate . Vaum. What wonders hath your fortunate spirrite & vertues Wrought to our comforts ? Could you crowne th' enchantments Of your diuine Witte with another Spell , Of powre to bring my Wife out of her Cell , You should be our quicke Hermes , our Alcides . Uand. That 's my next lobour : come my Lord , your selfe Shall stand vnseene , and see by next morns light ( Which is her Beddtime ) how my Braines-bould valoure Will rouse her from her vowes seueritie : No Will , nor Powre , can withstand Pollicie . Exit . Enter D'oliue , Pacque , Dique . D'ol. Welcome little Witts , are you hee my Page Pacque here Makes choice of , to be his fellow Coch-horse ? Diq.

I am my Lord .

D'ol.

What Countrie man ?

Diq.

Borne i' th Cittie .

Pac.

But begot i' th Court : I can tell your Lordship , he hath had as good Court breeding , as anie Impe in a Countrie : If your Lordship please to examine him in anie part of the Court Accidence , from a Noune to an Interiection , I le vndertake you shall finde him sufficient .

D'ol.

Saist thou so little Witt : Why then Sir , How manie Pronounes be there ?

Diq.

Faith my Lord there are more , but I haue learned but three sorts ; the Goade , the Fulham , and the Stop-kater-tre ; which are all demonstratiues , for heere they be : There are Relatiues too , but they are nothing without their Antecedents .

D'ol.

Well said , little Witt I'faith , How manie Antecedents are there ?

Diq.

Faith my Lord , their number is vncertaine ; but they that are , are either Squires , or Gentlemen vshers .

D'ol.

Verie well said : when all is done , the Court is the onely Schoole of good education ; especially for Pages and Waighting women ; Paris , or Padua , or the famous Schoole of England called Winchester , famous ( I meane ) for the Goose , Where Schollers weare Petticoates so long , till their Penn and Inckhorns knocke against their knees : All these I say , are but Belfries to the Bodie or Schoole of the Court : Hee that would haue his Sonne proceed Doctor in three dayes , let him sende him thither ; there 's the Porge to fashion all the parts of them : There they shall learne the true vse of their good Partes indeed .

Pac.

Well my Lord , you haue said well for the Court , What sayes your Lordshippe now to vs Courtiers , Shall we goe the voyage ?

D'ol.

My little Hermophrodites , I entertaine you heere into my Chamber ; and if need be , nearer : your seruice you know . I will not promise Mountaines , nor assure you Annuities of fourtie or fiftie Crownes ; in a word , I will promise nothing : but I will be your good Lord , do you not doubt .

Diq.

We do not my Lord , but are sure you will shew your selfe Noble : and as you promise vs nothing , so you will Honorably keepe promise with vs , and giue vs nothing .

D'ol.

Prettie little Witt , y'faith , Can he verse ?

Pac.

I and sett too , my Lord ; Hee 's both a Setter and a Verser .

D'ol.

Prettie in faith ; but I meane , has he a vaine Naturall ?

Pac.

O my Lord , it comes from him as easelie ,

Diq.

As Suites from a Courtier , without money : or money from a Cittizen without securitie , my Lord .

D'o.

Wel , I perceiue nature has suited your Witts ; & I le suite you in Guarded coates , answerable to your Witts : for Witt 's as sutable to guarded Coates , as Wisedome is to welted Gownes . My other Followers Horse themselues ; my selfe will horse you . And now tell me ( for I will take you into my bosome ) What 's the opinion of the many headed Best touching my new adition of Honour ?

Diq.

Some thinke , my Lord , it hath giuen you adition of pride , and outer euidance .

D'ol.

They are deceaued that thinke so : I must confesse , it would make a Foole proude ; but for me , I am semper idem .

Pac.

We beleeue your Lordship .

D'ol.

I finde no alteration in my selfe in the world , for I am sure I am no wiser then I was , when I was no Lord , nor no more bountifull , nor no more honest ; onely in respect of my state , I assume a kinde of State ; to receiue Suters now , with the Nodd of Nobilitie ; not ( as before ) with the Cappe of courtesie ; the knee of Knighthood : And why knee of Knighthood , little Witte ? there 's another Question for your Court Accidence .

Diq.

Because Gentlemen , or Yoemen , or Pessantes , or so , receiue Knighthood on their knees .

Pac.

The signification of the Knee of Knighthood in Heraldie an 't please your Lordship , is , that Knights are tyed in honour to fight vp to the knees in blood , for the defence of faire Ladyes .

D'ol.

Verie good : but if it be so , what honour doe they deserue , that purchase their Knighthood ?

Diq.

Purchase their Knighthood my Lord ? Mary I thinke they come truely by 't , for they pay well for 't .

D'ol.

You cut mee off by the knees , little Witte : but I say , ( if you will heare mee ) that if they deserue to be Knighted , that purchase their Knighthood with fighting vp to the knee , What doe they deserue , that purchase their Knighthood with fighting aboue the knee ?

Pac.

Mary my Lord , I say the purchase is good , if the conueyance will hold water .

D'ol.

VVhy this is excellent : by heauen twentie poundes annuitie shal not purchase you from my heeles . But foorth now : VVhat is the opinion of the world touching this new Honour of mine ? Doe not Fooles enuie it ?

Diq.

No my Lord , but wise men wonder at it : you hauing so buried your wisedome heretofore in Tauerns , and Vaultinghouses , that the world could neuer discouer you to be capable of Honour .

D'ol.

As though Achilles could hide himselfe vnder a Womans clothes : was he not discouered at first ? This Honor is like a Woman , or a Crocadile ( chuse you whether ) it flies them that follow it ; and followes them that flie it : For my selfe , how euer my worth , for the time kept his bedd ; yet did I euer prophecie to my selfe that it would rise , before the Sun-set of my dayes : I did euer dreame , that this head was borne to beare a breadth , this shoulder to support a State , this face to looke bigg , this bodie to beare a presence , these feete were borne to be reuellers , and these Calues were borne to be Courtiers : In a word , I was borne Noble , and I will die Noblie : neither shall my Nobilitie perish with death ; after ages shall resounde the memorie thereof , while the Sunne sets in the East , or the Moone in the West .

Pac.

Or the Seuen Starres in the North .

D'ol.

The Siege of Bullaine shall be no more a landmarke for Times : Agencourt Battaile , S. Iames his Fielde , the losse of Calice , & the winning of Cales , shal grow out of vse : Men shal reckon their yeares , Women their mariages , from the day of our Ambassage : As , I was borne , or married two , three , or foure yeares before the great Ambassage . Farmers shall count their Leases from this day , Gentlemen their Morgages from this day : Saint Dennis shall be rac't out of the Kallender , and the day of our Enstalment enterd in redd letters : And as St. Ualentines day is fortunate to choose Louers , St. Lukes to choose Husbandes ; So shall this day be to the choosing of Lordes : It shall be a Critticall day , a day of Note : In that day it shall be good to quarrell , but not to sight : They that Marrie on that day , shall not repent ; marie the morrow after perhappes they may : It shall be holsome to beat a Sergeant on that day : Hee that eates Garlicke on that morning , shall be a rancke Knaue till night .

Diq.

What a day will this be , if it hold ?

D'ol.

Hold ? S'foote it shall hold , and shall be helde sacred to immortalitie : let all the Chroniclers , Ballet makers , and Almanackmungers , do what they dare .

Enter Rhoderique . Rhod.

S'foote ( my Lord ) al 's dasht , your voyage is ouerthrowne .

D'ol.

What ayles the franticke Tro ?

Rhod.

The Lady is entoombde , that was the Subiect of your Ambassage : and your Ambassage is beraid .

Pac.

Dido is dead , and wrapt in lead .

Di.

O heauy herse !

Pac.

Your Lordships honor must waite vpon her .

Dig.

O scuruy verse ! Your Lordship 's welcome home : pray let 's walke your horse my Lord .

D'ol.

A prettie gullery . Why my little wits , doe you beleeue this to be true ?

Pac.

For my part my Lord , I am of opinion you are guld .

Dig.

And I am of opinion that I am partly guiltie of the same .

Enter Muge. Muge.

Where 's this Lord foole here ? S'light you haue made a prettie peece of seruice an 't : raised vp all the countrey in gold lace and feathers ; and now with your long stay , there 's no employment for them .

D'ol.

Good still .

Mug.

S'light I euer tooke thee to be a hammer of the right feather : but I durst haue layed my life , no man could euer haue cramd such a Gudgeon as this downe the throate of thee : To create thee a Christmas Lord , and make thee laughter for the whole Court : I am ashamde of my selfe that euer I chusde such a Grosseblocke to whet my wits on .

D'ol.

Good wit yfaith .

I know all this is but a gullery now : But since you haue presumde to go thus farre with me , come what can come to the State , sincke or swimme , I le be no more a father to it , nor the Duke ; nor for the world wade one halfe steppe further in the action .

Pac.

But now your Lordship is gone , what shall become of your followers ?

D'ol.

Followers ? let them follow the Court as I haue done : there let them raise their fortunes : if not , they know the way to the pettie Brokers , there let them shift and hang . Exit cum suit .

Rhod.

Here we may strike the Plaudite to our Play , my Lord foole 's gone : all our audience will forsake vs .

Mug.

Page , after , and call him againe .

Rho.

Let him go : I le take vp some other foole for the Duke to employ : euery Ordinary affoords fooles enow : and didst not see a paire of Gallants sit not far hence like a couple of Bough-pots to make the roome smell ?

Mug.

Yes , they are gone : But what of them ?

Rhod.

I le presse them to the Court : or if neede be , our Muse is not so barren , but she is able to deuise one tricke or other to retire D'oliue to Court againe .

Mug.

Indeed thou toldst me how gloriously he apprehended the fauour of a great Lady i th Presence , whose hart ( he said ) stood a tipto in her eye to looke at him .

Rhod.

T is well remembred .

Mug.

O , a Loue-letter from that Ladie would retriue him as sure as death .

Rhod.

It would of mine honor : Wee le faine one from her instantly : Page , fetch pen and inke here .

Exit Pag. Mug.

Now do you & your Muse engender : my barren skonce shall prompt something .

Rhod.

Soft then : The Lady Ieronime , who I said viewed him so in the Presence , is the Venus that must enamour him : Wee le go no further for that . But in what likenesse must he come to the Court to her now ? As a Lord he may not : in any other shape he will not .

Mug.

Then let him come in his owne shape like a gull .

Rhod.

Well , disguisde he shall be : That shall be his mistrisses direction : this shall be my Helicon : and from this quiuer will I draw the shaft that shall wound him .

Mug.

Come on : how wilt thou begin ?

Rhod.

Faith thus : Dearely Beloued .

Mug.

Ware ho , that 's prophane .

Rhod.

Go to then : Diuine D'oliue : I am sure that 's not prophane .

Mug.

Well , forward :

Rhod.

I see in the powre of thy beauties .

Mug.

Breake of your period , and say , T was with a sigh .

Rhod.

Content : here 's a full pricke stands for a teare too .

Mug.

So , now take my braine .

Rhod.

Poure it on .

Mug.

I talke like a foole , but alas thou art wise and silent .

Rhod.

Excellent : And the more wise , the more silent .

Mug.

That 's something common .

Rhod.

So should his mistris be .

Mug.

That 's true indeed : Who breakes way next ?

Rhod.

That will I sir : But alas , why art not thou noble , that thou mightst match me in Blood ?

Mug.

I le answer that for her .

Rhod.

Come on .

Mug.

But thou art noble , though not by birth , yet by creation .

Rhod.

That 's not amisse : forth now : Thy wit proues thee to be a Lord , thy presence showes it : O that word Presence , has cost me deare .

Mug.

Well said , because she saw him i th Presence .

Rhod.

O do but say thou lou'st me .

Mug.

Soft , there 's too many Os

Rhod.

Not a whit : O's but the next doore to P. And his mistris may vse her O with with modestie : or if thou wilt , I le stop it with another brachish teare .

Mug.

No , no , let it runne on .

Rhod.

O do but say thou lou'st me , and yet do not neither , and yet do .

Mug.

Well said , let that last stand , let him doe in any case : now say thus , do not appeare at Court .

Rhod.

So .

Mug.

At least in my companie .

Rhod.

Well .

Mug.

At lest before folkes .

Rhod.

Why so ?

Mug.

For the flame will breake forth .

Rhod.

Go on : thou doest well .

Mug.

Where there is fire i th harth :

Rhod.

What then ?

Mug.

There will be smoke i th chimney .

Rhod.

Forth .

Mug.

Warme , but burne me not : there 's reason in all things .

Rhod.

Well said , now doe I vie it : Come to my chamber betwixt two and three .

Mug.

A very good number .

Rho.

But walk not vnder my window : if thou doest , come disguisde : in any case we are not thy tuft taffeta cloke : if thou doest , thou killest me .

Mug.

Well said , now to the L'envoye .

Rhod.

Thine , if I were worth ought ; and yet such , as it skils not whose I am if I be thine ; Ieronime : Now for a fit Pandar to transport it , and haue at him .

Exeunt .
Finis Actus quarti .
ACTVS QVINTI
Scaena prima . Enter Vaumont , and Vandome . Vand. COme my good Lord , now will I trie my Braine , If it can forge another golden chaine , To draw the poore Recluse , my honord mistris From her darke Cell , and superstitious vow . I oft haue heard there is a kind of cure To fright a lingring Feuer from a man By an imaginous feare , which may be true , For one heate ( all know ) doth driue out another , One passion doth expell another still , And therefore I will vse a fainde deuice To kindle furie in her frozen Breast , That rage may fire out griefe , and so restore her To her most sociable selfe againe . Uau. Iuno Lucina fer opem , And ease my labouring house of such a care . Vand. Marke but my Midwifery : the day is now Some three houres old , and now her night begins : Stand close my Lord , if she and her sad meany Be toward sleepe , or sleeping , I will wake them With orderly alarmes ; Page ? Boy ? sister ? All toong-tied ? all asleepe ? page ? sister ? Uau. Alas Vandome , do not disturbe their rest For pittie sake , t is yong night yet with them . Uand. My Lord , your onely way to deale with women And Parrets , is to keepe them waking still . Page ? who 's aboue ? are you all dead here ? Dig.

S'light is hell broke loose ? who 's there ?

He looks out with a light . Vand.

A friend .

Dig. Then know this Castle is the house of wo , Here harbor none but two distressed Ladies Condemn'd to darknesse , and this is their iayle , And I the Giant set to guard the same : My name is Dildo . Retrahitse . Vand.

Sirra leaue your rogerie , and hearken to me : what Page , I say .

Dig.

Tempt not disasters : take thy life : Be gone .

Redit cum lumine . Uau.

An excellent villanie .

Vand.

Sirra ? I haue businesse of waight to impart to your Ladie .

Dig.

If your businesse be of waight , let it waite till the after noone , for by that time my Ladie will be deliuered of her first sleepe : Be gone , for feare of watery meteors .

Vand.

Go to sir , leaue your villany , and dispatch this newes to your Ladie .

Dig.

Is your businesse from your selfe , or from some body besides ?

Vand.

From no body besides my selfe .

Dig.

Very good ; then I le tel her , here 's one besides himselfe has businesse to her from no body .

Retrahitse . Vau.

A perfect yong hempstring .

Van.

Peace least he ouer heare you .

Redit Dig. Dig.

You are not the Constable sir , are you ?

Vand.

Will you dispatch sir ? you know me well enough , I am Vandome .

Eury.

What 's the matter ? who 's there ? Brother Vandome .

Vand.

Sister ?

Eury.

What tempest driues you hither at such an hower ?

Vand.

VVhy I hope you are not going to bed , I see you are not yet vnready : if euer you will deserue my loue , let it be now , by calling forth my mistris , I haue newes for her , that touch her nearely .

Eur.

VVhat i st good brother ?

Van.

The worst of ils : would any tongue but mine had bene the messenger .

Mar.

VVhat 's that seruant ?

Van.

O Mistris come downe with all speed possible , and leaue that mournfull cell of yours , I le shew you another place worthy of your mourning .

Mar.

Speake man , my heart is armed with a mourning habit of such proofe , that there is none greater without it , to pierce it .

Vand.

If you please to come downe , I le impart what I know : if not , I le leaue you .

Eury. VVhy stand you so at gaze sister ? go downe to him . Stay bother , she comes to you . Vand. T will take I doubt not , though her selse be ice , There 's one with her all fire , and to her spirit I must apply my counterfeit deuice : Stand close my Lord . Uau.

I warrant you , proceed .

Vand. Come silly mistris , where 's your worthy Lord ? I know you know not , but too well I know . Mar.

Now heauen graunt all be well .

Vand. How can it be ? VVhile you poore Turtle sit and mourne at home , Mewd in your cage , your mate he flies abroade , O heauens who would haue thought him such a man ? Eury.

Why what man brother ? I beleeue my speeches will proue true of him .

Uand.

To wrong such a beautie , to prophane such vertue , and to proue disloyall .

Eury.

Disloyall ? nay nero gilde him ore with fine termes , Brother , he is a filthy Lord , and euer was , I did euer say so , I neuer knew any good at h haire , I do but wonder how you made shift to loue him , or what you saw in him to entertaine but so much as a peece of a good thought on him .

Mar.

Good sister forbeare .

Eury.

Tush sister , bid me not forbeare : a woman may beare , and beare , and be neuer the better thought on neither : I would you had neuer seene the eyes of him , for I know he neuer lou'd you in 's life .

Mar. You wrong him sister , I am sure he lou'd me As I lou'd him , and happie I had bene Had I then dide , and shund this haplesse life . Eury.

Nay let him die , and all such as as he is , he lay a catter-walling not long since : O if it had bene the will of heauen , what a deare blessing had the world had in his riddance ?

Vand. But had the lecher none to single out For obiect of his light lasciuious blood , But my poore cosin that attends the Dutchesse , Lady Ieronime ? Eury.

What , that blaberlipt blouse ?

Uand. Nay no blouse , sister , though I must confesse She comes farre short of your perfection . Eury.

Yes by my troth , if she were your cosin a thousand times , shee s but a sallow freckld face peece when she is at the best .

Uand. Yet spare my cosin , sister , for my sake , She merits milder censure at your hands . And euer held your worth in noblest termes . Eury.

Faith the Gentlewoman is a sweete Gentlewoman of her selfe , I must needs giue her her due .

Vand. But for my Lord your husband , honor'd mistris , He made your beauties and your vertues too , But foyles to grace my cosins , had you seene His amorous letters ,

But my cosin presently will tell you all , for she reiects his sute , yet I aduisde her to make a shew she did not . But point to meet him when you might surprise him , and this is iust the houre .

Eury.

Gods my life sister , loose not this aduantage , it wil be a good Trumpe to lay in his way vpon any quarrell : Come , you shall got S'bodie will you suffer him to disgrace you in this sort ? dispraise your beautie ? And I do not think too , but he has bin as bold with your Honor , which aboue all earthly things should be dearest to a woman .

Uand.

Next to her Beautie .

Eury.

True , next to her beautie : and I doe not thinke sister , but hee deuiseth slaunders against you , euen in that high kinde .

Vand.

Infinite , infinite .

Eury.

And I beleeue I take part with her too : would I knew that yfaith .

Vand.

Make your account , your share 's as deepe as hers : when you see my cosin , shee le tell you all : wee le to her presently .

Eury.

Has she told you , she would tell vs ?

Vand.

Assurde me , on her oath .

Eury.

S'light I would but know what he can saye I pray you brother tell me .

Vand.

To what end ? t will but stirre your patience .

Eury.

No I protest : when I know my cariage to be such , as no staine can obscure , his slaunders shall neuer moue me , yet would I faine know what he faines .

Uan.

It fits not me to play the gossips parte : to my cosin , shee le relate all .

Eury.

S'light what can she say ? pray let 's haue a taste an 't onward .

Vand.

What can he not say , who being drunke with lust , and surfetting with desire of change , regards not what he sayes : and briefly I will tell you thus much now ; Let my melancholy Lady ( sayes he ) hold on this course till she waste her selfe , and consume my reuenew in Tapers , yet this is certaine , that as long as she has that sister of hers at her elbow .

Eury.

Me ? why me ? I bid defiance to his foule throate .

Vaum.

Hold there Vandome , now it begins to take .

Eury.

What can his yellow iealousie surmise against me ? if you loue me , let me heare it : I protest it shall not moue me .

Vand.

Marry forsooth , you are the shooing horne , he sayes , to draw on , to draw on sister .

Eury.

The shooing horne with a vengeance ? what 's his meaning in that ?

Vand.

Nay I haue done , my cosin shall tell the rest : come shal we go ?

Eury.

Go ? by heauen you bid me to a banquet : sister , resolue your selfe , for you shall go ; loose no more time , for you shall abroade on my life : his licorice chaps are walking by this time : but for heauens sweete hope what meanes he by that shooing horne ? As I liue it shall not moue me .

Vand.

Tell me but this , did you euer breake betwixt my mistris and your sister here , and a certaine Lord i th Court ?

Eury.

How ? breake ?

Vand.

Go to , you vnderstand me : haue not you a Petrarch in Italian ?

Eury.

Petrarch ? yes , what of that ?

Van.

Well , he sayes you can your good , you may be waiting womā to any dame in Europe : that Petrarch does good offices .

Eury.

Marry hang him , good offices ? Sfoot how vnderstands he that ?

Vand.

As when any Lady is in priuate courtship with this or that gallant , your Petrarch helpes to entertaine time : you vnderstand his meaning ?

Eury.

Sister if you resolue to go , so it is : for by heauen your stay shall be no barre to me , I le go , that 's infallible ; it had bene as good he had slandered the diuell : shooing horne ? O that I were a man for 's sake .

Vand.

But to abuse your person and your beautie too : a grace wherein this part of the world is happie : but I shall offend too much .

Eury.

Not me , it shall neuer moue me .

Uand.

But to say , ye had a dull eye , a sharpe nose ( the visible markes of a shrow ) a drie hand , which is a signe of a bad liuer , as he said you were , being toward a husband too : this was intolerable .

Uaum.

This strikes it vp to the head .

Uand.

Indeed he said you drest your head in a pretie strange fashion : but you would dresse your husbands head in a far stranger ; meaning the Count of saint Anne I thinke .

Eury.

Gods precious , did he touch mine honor with him ?

Vand.

Faith nothing but that he weares blacke , and sayes t is his mistris colours : and yet he protests that in his eye your face shewes well enough by candle light , for the Count neuer saw it otherwise , vnlesse t were vnder a maske , which indeed he sayes becomes you aboue all things .

Eury. Come Page , go along with me , I le stay for no body : T is at your cosins chamber , is it not ? Uand.

Marry is it , there you shall find him at it .

Eury.

That 's enough : let my sister go waste his reuenew in tapers , t will be her owne another day .

Mar.

Good sister , seruant , if euer there were any loue or respect to me in you both .

Eury.

Sister ? there is no loue , nor respect , nor any coniuration , shall stay me : and yet by my part in heauen , I le not be moued a whit with him : you may retire your selfe to your old coll , and there waste your eyes in teares , your heart in sighes , I le away certaine .

Uan.

But soft , let 's agree first what course we shal take when we take him .

Eury.

Marry euen raise the streetes on him , and bring him forth with a flocke of boyes about him , to whoote at him .

Vand.

No , that were too great a dishonor : I le put him out on 's paine presently .

Stringit ensem . Pag.

Nay good sir spare his life , cut of the offending part , and saue the Count .

Mar. Is there no remedie ? must I breake my vow ? Stay I le abroad , though with another aime Not to procure , but to preuent his shame . Uan. Go Page , march on , you know my cosins chamber , My company may wrong you , I will crosse The nearer way , and set the house afore you : But sister see you be not mou'd for Gods sake . Eury. Not I by heauen : Come sister , be not moued , But if you spare him , may heauen nere spare you . Exeunt . man . Van. & Vau. Vand.

So now the solemne votary is reuiu'd .

Uaum. Pray heauen you haue not gone a step too farre , And raisde more sprites , then you can coniure downe . Vand. No my Lord , no , t'Herculean labor 's past , The vow is broke , which was the end we sweat for , The reconcilement will meet of it selfe : Come le ts to Court , and watch the Ladies chamber , Where they are gone with hopefull spleene to see you . Enter Roderique , Mugeron , D'oliue in disguise towards the Ladies chamber . Rhod.

See Mugeron , our counterfait letter hath taken : who 's yonder think'st ?

Mug.

T is not Doliue :

Rhod. I ft be not he , I am sure hee 's not farre off : Those be his tressels that support the motion . Mug.

T is he by heauen , wrapt in his carelesse cloke : See the Duke enters : Let him enioy the benefite of the inchanted Ring , and stand a while inuisible : at our best oportunitie wee le discouer him to the Duke .

Enter Duke , Dutchesse , Saint Anne , Vaumont , Uandome , to them Digue , whispering Vandome in the care , and speakes as on the other side . Dig.

Monsieur Vandome , yonder 's no Lord to be found : my Ladie stayes at hand and craues your speech .

Vand.

Tell her she mistook the place , and conduct her hither : How will she looke when she findes her expectation mockt now ?

Exit . Dig. Vaum.

What 's that , Uandome ?

Uand.

Your wife and sister are comming hither , hoping to take you and my cosin together .

Uau.

Alas , how shall we appease them , when they see themselues so deluded ?

Van.

Let me alone , and stand you off my Lord :

Enter Mar : and Eurione .

Madame , y' are welcome to the Court : doe you see your Lord yonder ? I haue made him happie by training you forth : In a word , all I said was but a traine to draw you from your vow : Nay , there 's no going backe : Come forward and keepe your temper . Sister , cloud not you your forhead : yonder 's a Sunne will cleare your beauties I am sure . Now you see the shooing-horne is expounded : all was but a shooing-horne to draw you hither : now shew your selues women , and say nothing .

Phil.

Let him alone awhile Uandome : who 's there ? what whisper you ?

Uand. Y 'aue done ? come forward : See here my Lord , my honorable mistris , And her faire sister , whom your Highnesse knowes Could neuer be importunde from their vowes By prayer , or th' earnest sutes of any friends , Now hearing false report that your faire Dutchesse Was dangerously sicke , to visit her Did that which no friend else could winne her to , And brake her long kept vow with her repaire . Duke . Madam you do me an exceeding honor , In shewing this true kindnesse to my Dutchesse , Which she with all her kindnesse will require . Vand. Now my good Lord , the motion you haue made , To S. An. With such kind importunitie by your selfe , And seconded with all perswasions On my poore part , for mariage of this Ladie , Her selfe now comes to tell you she embraces , And ( with that promise made me ) I present her . Eury.

Sister , we must forgiue him .

S. An. Matchlesse Ladie , Your beauties and your vertues haue atchieu'd An action that I thought impossible , For all the sweete attractions of your sex , In your conditions , so to life resembling The grace and fashion of my other wife : You haue reuiu'd her to my louing thoughts , And all the honors I haue done to her , Shall be continude ( with increase ) to you . Mug.

Now let 's discouer our Ambassador , my Lord .

Duke .

Do so .

Exiturus D'oliue . Mug.

My Lord ? my Lord Ambassador ?

D'ol.

My Lord foole , am I not ?

Mug.

Go to , you are he : you cannot cloke your Lordshippe from our knowledge .

Rho.

Come come : could Achilles hide himselfe vnder a womans clothes ? Greatnesse will shine through clouds of any disguise .

Phil.

Who 's that Rhoderique ?

Rho.

Monsieur D'oliue , my Lord , stolne hither disguisde , with what minde we know not .

Mug.

Neuer striue to be gone sir : my Lord , his habite expounds his heart : t were good he were searcht .

D'oliue .

Well rookes wel , I le be no longer a blocke to whet your dull wits on : My Lord , my Lord , you wrong not your selfe onely , but your whole state , to suffer such vlcers as these to gather head in your Court ; neuer looke to haue any action sort to your honor , when you suffer such earewigs to creepe into your eares thus .

Phil.

What 's the matter Rhoderique ?

Rho.

Alas my Lord , only the lightnesse of his braine , because his hopes are lost .

Mug.

For our parts , we haue bene trustie and secret to him in the whole manage of his ambassage .

D'ol.

Trustie ? a plague on you both , there 's as much trust in a common whore as in one of you : and as for secrecy , there 's no more in you then in a profest Scriuener .

Vand.

Why a Scriuener , Monsiour D'oliue ?

D'ol.

Marry sir a man cannot trust him with borrowing so much as poore fortie shillings , but he will haue it Knowne to all men by these presents .

Vand.

That 's true indeed , but you employed these gentlemen very safely .

D'oliue .

Employed ? I mary sir , they were the men that first kindled this humor of employment in me : a pox of employment I say : it has cost me , but what it has cost me , it skils not : they haue thrust vpon me a crew of thredbare , vnbutton'd fellowes , to be my followers : Taylers , Frippers , Brokers , casheerd Clarks , Pettifoggers , and I know not who I : S'light I thinke they haue swept all the bowling allies i th citie for them : and a crew of these , rakt like old ragges out of dunghils by candle light , haue they presented to me in very good fashion , to be gentlemen of my traine , and solde them hope of raising their fortunes by me : A plague on that phrase , Raising of fortunes , it has vndone more men when ten dicing houses ? Raise their fortunes with a vengeance ? And a man will play the foole and be a Lord , or be a foole and play the Lord , he shall be sure to want no followers , so there be hope to raise their fortunes . A burning feuer light on you , and all such followers . S'foote they say followers are but shadowes , that follow their Lords no longer then the sunshines on them : but I finde it not so : the sunne is set vpon my employment , and yet I cannot shake off my shadowes ; my followers grow to my heeles like kibes , I cannot stir out of doores for am . And your grace haue any employment for followers , pray entertaine my companie : they le spend their bloud in your seruice , for they haue little else to spend , you may soone raise their fortunes .

Phil. Well Monsieur D'oliue , your forwardnesse In this intended seruice , shall well know What acceptation it hath wonne it selfe In our kind thoughts : nor let this sodaine change Discourage the designements you haue laid For our States good : reserue your selfe I pray , Till fitter times : meane time will I secure you From all your followers : follow vs to Court . And good my Lords , and you my honor'd Ladies , Be all made happie in the worthy knowledge Of this our worthy friend Monsieur D'oliue . Omnes .

Good Monsieur D'oliue .

Exeunt .
Finis Actus quinti & vltimi .
ACTORS . Monsieur D'oliue . Philip the Duke . S. Anne Count . Vaumont Count . Vandome . Rhodoricke . Mugeron . Pacque , two pages . Dicque , two pages . Gueaquin the Dutchesse . Hieronime Ladie . Marcellina Countesse . Eurione her sister .
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honestmen forget we are Courtiers , and talke like honest men , tell truth , and shame all trauaylers charitablie better part still , and that is , to iudge charitable : But now forsoothe to redeeme her Honour ▪ wanton : if shee be kinde , shees too willing : if coye , too wilfull : if shee be modest ●a and Players by making mouthes and faces : ha doest well wits ? thyiests Faith thou followest a figure in thy iests , as countrey Gentlemen followe fashions counttey thou followest a figure in thy iests , as countrey Gentlemen followe fashions when they bee lestes shoppe of good wordes , the Mint of good Iestes , an Ordinary of fine discourse , Critickes ●th facultie of wit , shall at certaine houres ith day resort thither , it shall be a second ●oot common-wealth , must needes receyue the honour due t'oot in marriage . is Nay howe can hee pleade that , when it ▪ t'is as well knowne his father dyed a batcheler S▪ body His forefathers ? S'body had hee more fathers then one . ▪ too much ath frets : I must loue your Wits , I must take pleasure in you . Farewell good ▪ O God Syr , you wrong mee , to thinke I can , bee troubled me● O God Syr ▪ you wrong mee , to thinke I can , bee troubled with wit ●age times , I carrie halfe a score byrdes in a cage , shall euer remaine at your call : Farewell Eu●●● Exits . accomplish● but hee shall bee employd , O tis a most accomplisht asse , the mugrill of a Gull , and a villaine ▪ imitate , his grace is to censure , and detract ; he shall to'th Court , yfaith hee shall cauesdroppe the heauinesse of this virgine Ladie , Ile eauesdroppe , and if it be possible , heare who is her ●e But sister should not the noble man be Chronicled if he had right , I pray you pra●●'d you delight to heare him spoken of ? and prais'd , and honord ? pr●isd honour of her Sexe , delight to heare him praisd as well as wee ? is I loue the Noble man : Heauen is my iudge if l● indeede his loue And honour to his Wife l● loue the Noble man : Heauen is my iudge is I indeede his loue And honour to his Wife indeed● the Noble man : Heauen is my iudge is l● indeede his loue And honour to his Wife so after ▪ thinke the better of him , and sometimes , Talke of his loue or so ; But you know Maddam dooresafe And keepe the doore safe : what night-walker ' this , that hath no● Hast commend me to him tel him I may not nor will not see him : for I haue vowd the contrary ●● And be the fable of the scornefull world ; Yf I offend you Lady kill me now , ●u'd worthy Seruant , I would to God I had not liu'd to be A fable to the worlde , a shame to heareme Deare mistris hear me & forbeare these humors . Id●ly See how Idely . You vnderstand me ? theise same travallers travail●rs how Idely . You vnderstand me ? theise same travallers , That can liue any where , make iests of o● friends , She had a husband does not cast her of so : O tis a rare , a Noble gentleman . Humb● gentleman . Well well , there is some other Humor stirring , In your young bloud then a dead swome No , ile be sworne 〈…〉 Instruments : Turnd to pick strawes , and f fumble le vpon Rushes ; Your heauenly voice , turnd ●ainted sighes , And your rare wit to in a manner tainted . This cannot be , I know some other cause what o●●er and be your cure : In any wound it forceth whatsoeuer , But if you wil not , tell me at your perill ▪ Brother . ▪ Did you call ? ▪ No 'tis no matter . al●● my kind and honor'd Brother , Ile tell you all 〈…〉 〈…〉 kind and honor'd Brother , Ile tell you all : d●e O will you doe so then ▪ ▪ O will you doe so then ? ▪ thus : Did euer man aske such a question , When he had brought a woman to this passe quorh Treason quoth he ? ▪ Attending oftentimes the Duke & Dutchesse , To visit the most passionate Earle your ▪ Put it in ? why ? y saith y'are such a man , Ile tell no further saith Put it in ? why ▪ y faith y'are such a man , Ile tell no further , ▪ thankes The credit and the honor I shall haue : For that most happy Good I know in Fate obser●d When I obseru'd his constance in Loue : His honor of his constan●● When I obseru'd his constance in Loue : His honor of his deere wiues memory EVR▪ EVR. 〈…〉 into me : That it hath halfe consum'd me , s since ●● lov'd His Wife so dearely that was deere ●● : That it hath halfe consum'd me , s 〈…〉 it lov'd His Wife so dearely that was deere 〈◊〉 How 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more 〈◊〉 T'n flame I beseech thee was your loue so simple : T'nflame itselfe with him ? why hee's a husband : alymbe Froes , the THRATIAN HARPER ) To mary but a lymbe , a looke of him , Heauens my sweet subscube far-shooting beauties any name ? Too Good to subscribe to EVRIONE : Here is my hand , if euer I sovertu●●sly gentleman or would be still esteemd so I will so vertuously solicite for thee : And with withsuch will so vertuously solicite for thee : And with such cunning wind into his heart , That ●ight He will kisse her to doe your parson right , ay●es But that she aymes therein at publique good And you in duty ●ender thereto of your selfe Ought to haue made vs render of your parts And nor entombe them tirant-like spnrnd , my Lord are not in fault , For we haue spurnd him forward euermore Letting him know how er●● had bin ought else but an Asse Your Grace ere this time long had made him great Did not his bin ought else but an Asse Your Grace ere this time long had made him great Did not we the● a prince As is your gratious selfe ; for then it was pollicie To keepe all with of hope 〈◊〉 that freely choos'd obscuritie Wee found our safetie , which 〈…〉 most of Note Many times lost 〈…〉 choos'd obscuritie Wee found our 〈◊〉 , which men most of Note Many times lost , and I ahlas knowe shell For your learn'd excellence , I ●o●ow knows well Qui bene saturi , bene vixit , still 〈◊〉 excellence , I ●o●ow knowe well Qui bene saturi , bene vixit , still . 〈…〉 your selfe , that had So great meanes to haue liu'd in greater place : 〈…〉 Faith Sir I had a poore roofe or a paint house To shade me from the Sunne G●ils thought my selfe As private as I had King Giris Ring And could haue gone invisible , yet defign'd seruice You must not scape my hands , that haue design'd present employment for you ; and tis this bew●ies For loosing the deare sight of her quick bewties y-saith Well spoke y-faith , your grace must giue me leaue To praise ●ow● this in breefe We sate as I remember all in rowe , All sorts of men together , A Squier and ● men together , A Squier and a Carpenter , a I awiet and a Sawier . A Marchant and a awiet together , A Squier and a Carpenter , ● I Lawier and a Sawier . A Marchant and a Broker , DOL▪ DOL. ▪ Then thus it is : the question of estate ( Or the state of Aristocratie the question ) was in briefe whether in an Aristocrasie Or in a Democriticall estate Tobacco might ▪ excellent speches there Touching this part : As● where with pushes , and his Nose Was like the Ase of clubs ( which I must tell you Enmitle that set him , and Tobacco first at such hot Enmitie for that nose of his ( according to the virginalliack The weauer Sir much like a virginal iack Start nimbly vp ; the culler of his to ●her GENEVA print , and wore one eare Shorter then tother for a difference ho●ly He was so Sir , and hotly he envaid Against Tobacco ( with a most gro●enes mens eyes , that they might not behold The grosenes of olde superstition Which is as t'were clo●e superstition ; for his owne part He held a Garlick cloue being sanctifyed Did edifie more the body t●n edifie more the body of a man Then a whole tin of this prophane Tobacco Being tane without t●ne whole tin of this prophane Tobacco Being tane without thankes-giuing ; in a word He said gre●● banisht from the land For feare least for the great abuse thereof Or candle were put out ; and li●kt twice or thrice , then shooke mine eares And lickt my lipps , as if I begg'd attention and DOL▪ DOL. qua●dari● I am amused , or I am in a quandarie gentlemen [ for in good faith I remember Troya●s ; to the maintaynance whereof , all true Troyans ( from whose race we claime our decent ] 〈…〉 , driues out all ill Vapours but it selfe , owne all bad Humors by the mouth which in owne driues out all ill Vapours but it selfe 〈…〉 downe all bad Humors by the mouth which in time 〈◊〉 owne all bad Humors by the mouth which in time might breed a Scabbe ouer the whole body ▪ plant of singular vse , for ▪ on the one side , Nature being an Enemie to Vacuitie and emptines Va●uitie the one side ▪ Nature being an Enemie to Vacuitie and emptines , and on the other , there emp●●●es ▪ Nature being an Enemie to Vacuitie and emptines , and on the other , there beeing so many ●yre immediate instrument to that purpose ? If with ayre , what so proper as your sume ▪ what sume sume purpose ? If with ayre , what so proper as your fume ▪ what sume so healthfull as your perfume ▪ If with ayre , what so proper as your fume : what fume so healthfull as your perfume sume ayre , what so proper as your sume ▪ what fume so healthfull as your perfume ? what perfume heare● sparkes of wit it yeelds , it is a world to heare as likewise to the courage of a man , for Veri●ice et sauo et writes , that hee that drinkes Veriuice pisseth vinegere , Then it must needs follow ▪ out of the Element of Garlick to medicine ; to conclude as there is no enemy to Tabacco I● For the Ambassage , and will trust you now If t'were to send you foorth to the great Turke ●i● my speach , that since Tobacco Had so long bin in vse , it should thence foorth Be brought Ca●tar gentlemanly humor The Murr , the Head-ach , the Cattar , the bone ach Or other branches of the Anbassador busines Take now the place and state of an Ambassador Present our parson and performe our charge ●ull How now you foole ? out you presumptious gull ●foote How now you baggage ? Sfoote are you so coy To the Dukes parson , to ●oy How now you baggage ? Sfoote are you so coy To the Dukes parson , to his second selfe PH●L Exiunt PHIL Gueaque Iero : ▪ sake , As it becomes great personages to doe : Ile thinke vpon't betwixt this and the day knau●s were my Seruants before , shall now be my knaues : But they that were my Creditors before ▪ your iudgement to suppresse your passion : For so deare lou'd a Sister ( being as well disswasi●e , as mine ) the least enforcement Of your disswasiue arguments ▪ And besides , Your true resemblance ▪ enforcement Of your disswasiue arguments . And besides , Your true resemblance of her ▪ opened , And whatsoeuer vrgeth soules accurst : To their destruction , and sometimes their ▪ and nightes bound at his tirranous feete : So that my dayes are not like life or light ▪ forbeare to keepe her Still in your sight : force not her breathles body Thus against Amatu● Heu fuge dilectas terras , fuge littus Amatum : Icronime Enter the Duke , D'oliue , Gueaquin , Ieronime , Muge , Rhod. to see the dead Countesse ▪ time , was the name of an honest Courtier ; what tis now , Viderit vtilitas : Come Witts S S. ▪ Anne . ▪ hide this treasure of thy pretious beauties ; And that thy part suruiuing , be not pleasd ▪ drew the eyes of the whole presence vpon you : There was one Ladie a man might see her har● ▪ There was one Ladie a man might see her hart Readie to start out of her eyes to follow ●●at Cunstable when he leanes on's Staffe , thats flat : softnes and modestie sauors of the Cart Corneliur Thou speak'st like thy selfe Cornelius : booke him downe Gentleman . Vi●ll Wind Instrument : Heere shall hang my base Viall : Heere my Theorbo : and heere will I hang Gourtly wilbe drawne , all in compleat Satten of some Courtly cullour , like a Knight of Cupids band ; Hel●con fedd with a Pipe brought at my charge , from Helicon , ouer the Alpes , and vnder the Sea by Methanke Me thanke your Lordship . abhorninable Heauen I beseech thee , what an abhominable sort of Followers haue I put vpon mee : I●e and all my Wifflers : But its no matter , Ile fashion'am , Ile shew'am fashions : By heauen vpon'● Broker ; certainelie there's good to be done upon't ; if we be but a day or two out of towne is●ue hart , that would haue burst To giue wisht issue to any violent loue ? Dead Wife excuse me ▪ Brother , stood you so neare my dishonour ? Had you forborne awhile , all had been changd desernes challenge more , In loue and kindnes then my loue deserues , That you haue found one whom your hart c●ates suited your Witts ; & Ile suite you in Guarded coates , answerable to your Witts : for Witt's Goates Witts : for Witt's as sutable to guarded Coates , as Wisedome is to welted Gownes ▪ My other ▪ Goates , as Wisedome is to welted Gownes . My other Followers Horse themselues ▪ my selfe ▪ Gownes ▪ My other Followers Horse themselues ; my selfe will horse you . And now tell me ▪ Hold ? S'foote it shall hold , and shall be helde Almanackmunger● all the Chroniclers , Ballet makers , and Almanackmungers , do what they dare . scur●y O scuruy verse ! Your Lordship's welcome home : pray wityfaith Good wit yfaith . sui● there let them shift and hang . Exit cum suit . ●e Ile presse them to the Court : or if neede be , our Muse is not so barren , but she is i●h he apprehended the fauour of a great Lady ith Presence , whose hart ( he said ) stood I●ronime Soft then : The Lady Ieronime , who I said viewed him so in the Presence OOs. Soft , there's too many Os chimn●y There will be smoke ith chimney . do● Well said , now doe I vie it : Come to my chamber betwixt two tu●t come disguisde : in any case we are not thy tuft taffeta cloke : if thou doest , thou killest taffe●a disguisde : in any case we are not thy tuft taffeta cloke : if thou doest , thou killest me ●loke : in any case we are not thy tuft taffeta cloke : if thou doest , thou killest me . i● Ieronime : Now for a fit Pandar to transport it , and haue at him . Ua●mont Enter Vaumont , and Vandome . Loft her darke Cell , and superstitious vow . I oft haue heard there is a kind of ●●●re To fright ●●●re vow . I oft haue heard there is a kind of cure To fright a lingring Feuer from a man By deui●e still , And therefore I will vse a fainde deuice To kindle furie in her frozen Breast , That ●urie therefore I will vse a fainde deuice To kindle furie in her frozen Breast , That rage may fire ●umine Redit cum lumine . villani● An excellent villanie . is● VVhat ist good brother ? ofils The worst of ils : would any tongue but mine had bene ●lies at home , Mewd in your cage , your mate he flies abroade , O heauens who would haue thought beautle To wrong such a beautie , to prophane such vertue , and to proue b●d Tush sister , bid me not forbeare : a woman may beare , and Forobiect But had the lecher none to single out For obiect of his light lasciuious blood , But part● It fits not me to play the gossips parte w●●l to my cosin , sheele relate all . w●●l It fits not me to play the gossips parte : to my cosin , sheele relate all . S foot Marry hang him , good offices ? Sfoot how vnderstands he that ? ▪ signe of a bad liuer , as he said you were , being toward a husband too : this was intolerable fashion● said you drest your head in a pretie strange fashion▪ ▪ but you would dresse your husbands head ▪ drest your head in a pretie strange fashion : but you would dresse your husbands head ▪ his carelesse cloke : See the Duke enters : Let him enioy the benefite of the inchanted archieu'd Ladie , Your beauties and your vertues haue atchieu'd An action that I thought impossible , For re●●●'d grace and fashion of my other wife : You haue reuiu'd her to my louing thoughts , And all the ●loke Go to , you are he : you cannot cloke your Lordshippe from our knowledge . v●cers onely , but your whole state , to suffer such vlcers as these to gather head in your Court ▪ ▪ vlcers as these to gather head in your Court ; neuer looke to haue any action sort to your ▪ trust in a common whore as in one of you : and as for secrecy , there's no more in sortie trust him with borrowing so much as poore fortie shillings , but he will haue it Knowne to Petrifoggers , Frippers , Brokers , casheerd Clarks , Pettifoggers , and I know not who I : S'light I thinke ra●t ith citie for them : and a crew of these , rakt like old ragges out of dunghils by candle