Novus reformator vapulans, or, The Welch Levite tossed in a blanket in a dialogue between Hick-- of Colchester, David J--nes and the ghost of Wil. Pryn.
         Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704.
      
       
         
           1691
        
      
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             Novus reformator vapulans, or, The Welch Levite tossed in a blanket in a dialogue between Hick-- of Colchester, David J--nes and the ghost of Wil. Pryn.
             Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704.
          
           [10], 35 p.
           
             Printed for the assigns of Wil. Pryn ...,
             London :
             1691.
          
           
             Reproduction of original in Huntington Library.
             Attributed to Thomas Brown. cf. BM.
          
        
      
    
     
       
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         eng
      
       
         
           Hickeringill, Edmund, 1631-1708.
           Jones, David, 1663-1724?
           Prynne, William, 1600-1669.
        
      
    
     
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           Novus
           Reformator
           Vapulans
           :
           OR
           ,
           THE
           Welch
           Levite
           Tossed
           in
           a
           BLANKET
           .
        
         
           IN
           A
           DIALOGUE
           BETWEEN
           Hick
           —
           —
           of
           
             Colchester
             ,
             David
             I
             —
             —
             nes
          
           AND
           THE
           Ghost
           of
           Wil.
           Pryn.
           
        
         
           
             Quid
             immerentes
             hospites
             vexas
             Canis
          
           
             Ignavus
             adversum
             Lupos
             ?
          
           
             Quin
             huc
             inanes
             ,
             si
             potes
             ,
             vertis
             minas
             ,
          
           
             Et
             me
             remorsurum
             petis
             ?
          
           
             Hor.
             
          
        
         
           LONDON
           :
           Printed
           for
           the
           Assigns
           of
           
             Will.
             Pryn
          
           ,
           next
           Door
           to
           the
           Devil
           .
           MDCXCI
           .
        
      
       
         
         
         
           THE
           PREFACE
           .
        
         
           IT
           was
           the
           celebrated
           Saying
           of
           a
           certain
           Dutch
           Minister
           at
           Rotterdam
           ,
           That
           to
           drink
           Mum
           in
           a
           Morning
           was
           the
           same
           thing
           in
           effect
           ,
           as
           to
           put
           on
           one's
           Night-cap
           in
           a
           Morning
           .
           The
           Gentleman's
           meaning
           ,
           I
           suppose
           ,
           was
           this
           ,
           That
           Mum
           was
           an
           heavy
           ,
           dull
           sort
           of
           a
           Liquor
           ,
           that
           disposed
           People
           to
           be
           sleepy
           afterwards
           ;
           and
           of
           this
           Nature
           ,
           according
           to
           some
           Persons
           ,
           are
           all
           stupid
           Treatises
           ,
           and
           all
           insipid
           Pamphlets
           .
           To
           read
           a
           Page
           or
           two
           of
           'em
           is
           literally
           and
           really
           all
           one
           with
           putting
           on
           one's
           Night-cap
           ;
           they
           are
           true
           Opiates
           ,
           and
           ought
           to
           visit
           the
           World
           at
           first
           in
           the
           very
           same
           place
           ,
           in
           which
           they
           generally
           take
           their
           farewel
           of
           it
           ,
           viz.
           In
           a
           Drugster's
           Shop
           .
           But
           I
           ,
           that
           could
           read
           over
           the
           late
           famous
           Sermon
           of
           the
           Vicar
           of
           Bray
           ,
           who
           ,
           to
           his
           Honour
           be
           it
           spoken
           ,
           still
           keeps
           up
           the
           Reputation
           of
           his
           Place
           ,
           and
           does
           not
           in
           the
           least
           degenerate
           from
           the
           Noble
           Vertues
           of
           his
           great
           Predecessors
           ;
           and
           what
           was
           a
           greater
           Tryal
           both
           of
           my
           Patience
           ,
           and
           the
           strength
           of
           my
           Constitution
           ,
           I
           that
           could
           read
           over
           Mr.
           N
           —
           rris's
           Essay
           about
           the
           Vanity
           of
           Humane
           Learning
           ,
           which
           he
           dedicates
           to
           a
           blind
           Lady
           ,
           with
           Ichabod
           ,
           the
           Answer
           to
           the
           
             Vox
             Cleri
          
           ,
           the
           
             Mundus
             Muliebris
          
           ,
           the
           Weekly
           Observator
           ,
           the
           Rector
           of
           
           Exeter's
           Case
           penn'd
           by
           himself
           ,
           the
           Latin
           Translation
           of
           
           Milton's
           Paradice
           ,
           all
           the
           late
           Plays
           ,
           and
           other
           numberless
           Compositions
           of
           the
           same
           Stamp
           and
           Dignity
           ,
           and
           all
           this
           without
           the
           least
           inclination
           to
           take
           a
           Nap
           ,
           thought
           my self
           secure
           from
           the
           ill
           influences
           of
           one
           single
           Sermon
           ,
           tho'
           it
           were
           never
           so
           well
           stored
           with
           Opium
           ,
           and
           therefore
           made
           no
           difficulty
           at
           all
           of
           giving
           it
           a
           perusal
           .
           What
           gave
           me
           the
           greater
           Curiosity
           to
           examine
           it
           at
           my
           leisure
           hours
           ,
           was
           to
           see
           whether
           it
           deserved
           the
           mighty
           
           Character
           ,
           that
           abundance
           of
           People
           about
           the
           Town
           were
           pleased
           to
           confer
           upon
           it
           .
           For
           to
           my
           own
           knowledge
           several
           persons
           commended
           it
           for
           a
           piece
           of
           great
           Eloquence
           and
           Ingenuity
           ,
           that
           have
           not
           Sense
           enough
           to
           distinguish
           between
           the
           No-Language
           and
           No-Rhetoric
           of
           
           Baxter's
           Everlasting
           Rest
           ,
           and
           the
           solid
           beautiful
           reasoning
           of
           the
           Whole
           Duty
           of
           Man.
           And
           again
           ,
           it
           past
           universally
           in
           
           Dick's
           Coffee-House
           for
           a
           Discourse
           of
           great
           Piety
           and
           Sincerity
           ,
           amongst
           an
           Herd
           of
           Men
           ,
           who
           have
           no
           other
           way
           to
           shew
           their
           concern
           for
           the
           Protestant
           Religion
           ,
           but
           by
           railing
           at
           the
           Priesthood
           all
           the
           World
           over
           ;
           or
           their
           Zeal
           for
           the
           present
           Monarchy
           ,
           but
           by
           perpetually
           asserting
           the
           Deposing
           Power
           ;
           Men
           that
           without
           the
           greatest
           assurance
           imaginable
           can
           make
           no
           Pretensions
           either
           to
           Piety
           or
           Sincerity
           ,
           and
           who
           before
           this
           time
           could
           never
           endure
           any
           Publique
           Harangue
           that
           was
           guilty
           of
           having
           two
           such
           unpalatable
           Ingredients
           in
           it
           .
        
         
           One
           would
           indeed
           wonder
           ,
           if
           he
           could
           condescend
           to
           wonder
           at
           any
           particular
           Passage
           in
           so
           strange
           an
           Author
           ,
           to
           find
           so
           tedious
           and
           impertinent
           a
           Digression
           about
           Pluralities
           and
           Non-Residence
           ,
           and
           other
           Clergy-sins
           ,
           in
           a
           Sermon
           that
           was
           purely
           calculated
           for
           a
           City
           Auditory
           ,
           and
           designed
           for
           another
           end
           ;
           unless
           the
           Author
           was
           resolved
           before-hand
           to
           bilk
           his
           Text
           ,
           viz.
           The
           discountenancing
           of
           Pride
           .
           A
           man
           that
           is
           altogether
           unacquainted
           with
           this
           Pindarick
           way
           of
           Preaching
           ,
           would
           no
           more
           expect
           to
           find
           a
           long
           Catalogue
           of
           Levitical
           Enormities
           in
           a
           Discourse
           of
           that
           nature
           ,
           than
           to
           meet
           a
           formal
           Harangue
           against
           Flattery
           in
           a
           Book
           of
           Heraldry
           ,
           or
           a
           sober
           Reproof
           of
           Perjury
           in
           a
           Plot-mongers
           Narrative
           :
           Or
           lastly
           ,
           a
           Caution
           against
           Simony
           in
           a
           White-Chappel
           Treatise
           .
           I
           remember
           I
           knew
           a
           certain
           frugal
           Gentleman
           some
           years
           ago
           ,
           who
           was
           only
           Master
           of
           one
           Simile
           ,
           and
           that
           serv'd
           him
           upon
           all
           occasions
           :
           So
           with
           him
           a
           Man
           smoak'd
           like
           a
           Dragon
           ,
           and
           drank
           like
           a
           Dragon
           ,
           and
           eat
           like
           a
           Dragon
           ;
           in
           fine
           ,
           slept
           ,
           walk'd
           ,
           fought
           ,
           rode
           ,
           jok'd
           like
           a
           Dragon
           ,
           and
           did
           every
           thing
           you
           can
           name
           like
           a
           Dragon
           .
           After
           the
           same
           manner
           there
           are
           several
           persons
           in
           the
           World
           of
           great
           Malice
           ,
           but
           barren
           Inventions
           ,
           that
           are
           tolerably
           well
           stored
           with
           one
           sort
           of
           Satyr
           and
           Invective
           ,
           and
           this
           they
           very
           judiciously
           apply
           to
           all
           Subjects
           ,
           and
           use
           before
           all
           Companies
           ,
           tho'
           for
           the
           most
           part
           it
           comes
           as
           ill-favouredly
           and
           odly
           into
           the
           Discourse
           ,
           as
           Charon
           and
           his
           Boat
           into
           Michael
           Angelo's
           Piece
           of
           the
           last
           Iudgment
           .
           Our
           Author
           is
           one
           of
           this
           number
           .
           I
           dare
           engage
           (
           for
           the
           Reader
           must
           
           understand
           I
           am
           no
           Stranger
           either
           to
           his
           Person
           or
           Character
           )
           that
           if
           he
           were
           to
           preach
           before
           Civilians
           ,
           Soldiers
           ,
           Tarpawlins
           ,
           Citizens
           or
           Courtiers
           ,
           at
           the
           Temple
           ,
           the
           
             Spittle
             ,
             Wappin
          
           or
           Whitehall
           ;
           nay
           ,
           were
           it
           at
           a
           County
           Feast
           ,
           or
           at
           the
           Head
           of
           a
           Drum
           ,
           or
           an
           Alderman's
           Burial
           ,
           this
           same
           Clamour
           about
           Pluralities
           and
           Non-residence
           would
           make
           up
           the
           better
           part
           of
           the
           Entertainment
           with
           him
           .
           He
           treats
           his
           Prelates
           with
           as
           little
           of
           his
           good
           Breeding
           as
           
             Jo.
             Hindmarsh
          
           does
           his
           Authors
           ,
           and
           can
           no
           more
           forbear
           to
           rail
           at
           his
           Superiors
           ,
           whenever
           they
           fall
           in
           his
           way
           ,
           than
           a
           Barber
           at
           those
           Gentlemen
           that
           trim
           themselves
           by
           their
           own
           Looking-glasses
           ;
           or
           the
           City
           Porters
           at
           the
           first
           Projector
           of
           the
           Penny-Post
           Office.
           This
           surly
           Brutal
           Principle
           is
           partly
           owing
           to
           the
           sowerness
           of
           his
           Constitution
           ,
           and
           has
           been
           since
           improved
           and
           advanced
           into
           an
           habit
           ,
           by
           that
           just
           ill
           usage
           and
           universal
           Contempt
           that
           his
           own
           Arrogance
           and
           insupportable
           Temper
           have
           drawn
           down
           upon
           him
           .
        
         
           I
           would
           not
           willingly
           be
           thought
           guilty
           of
           so
           much
           Impertinence
           ,
           as
           to
           pretend
           to
           advise
           a
           Man
           of
           his
           invincible
           and
           stedfast
           Obstinacy
           ;
           or
           otherwise
           I
           would
           counsel
           him
           ,
           if
           ever
           he
           designs
           to
           plague
           the
           Book
           seller
           with
           any
           more
           of
           his
           Productions
           ,
           and
           withal
           would
           pass
           incognito
           ,
           to
           lay
           aside
           his
           celebrated
           Talent
           of
           censuring
           and
           railing
           ,
           for
           a
           while
           ,
           and
           speak
           just
           as
           other
           Men
           do
           when
           they
           have
           a
           mind
           to
           appear
           in
           Publick
           :
           For
           this
           I
           can
           tell
           him
           for
           his
           comfort
           ,
           he
           will
           be
           as
           effectually
           disguised
           in
           his
           Civility
           and
           good
           Manners
           ,
           as
           an
           Alsatian
           Bully
           is
           by
           washing
           his
           Face
           ,
           and
           putting
           on
           a
           clean
           Cravat
           .
           Indeed
           ,
           as
           he
           has
           order'd
           matters
           ,
           I
           am
           afraid
           this
           Conduct
           will
           be
           somewhat
           too
           late
           for
           him
           to
           use
           in
           the
           Pulpit
           ;
           he
           has
           drawn
           an
           heavy
           Rent-charge
           of
           Scandal
           and
           Railery
           upon
           himself
           ,
           which
           now
           every
           body
           expects
           at
           his
           hands
           ;
           and
           the
           Town
           will
           no
           more
           relish
           any
           of
           his
           Doctrin
           without
           a
           good
           lusty
           Invective
           against
           the
           Clergy
           to
           recommend
           it
           ,
           than
           they
           'll
           endure
           to
           hear
           a
           Mountebank's
           tedious
           Cant
           ,
           without
           the
           preceeding
           Diversion
           of
           a
           Farce
           ,
           or
           a
           Man
           of
           Sense
           would
           do
           Penance
           in
           D
           —
           rfy's
           Company
           without
           the
           Amends
           of
           his
           singing
           .
           His
           Shoals
           of
           Prentices
           ,
           blew
           Aprons
           ,
           and
           other
           Auditors
           of
           that
           Noble
           Figure
           are
           a
           severe
           sort
           of
           Task-masters
           ;
           if
           they
           should
           ever
           hear
           that
           he
           has
           Apostatiz'd
           from
           Calumny
           ,
           and
           suffer'd
           himself
           to
           be
           perverted
           and
           debauched
           into
           Civil
           Language
           ,
           
           away
           they
           would
           go
           and
           abandon
           him
           for
           a
           Reprobate
           :
           Nay
           ,
           if
           he
           should
           go
           about
           to
           disappoint
           ,
           or
           rather
           to
           cheat
           'em
           of
           never
           so
           little
           of
           their
           accustom'd
           portion
           in
           slander
           and
           back-biting
           ,
           they
           would
           as
           certainly
           leave
           him
           ,
           as
           they
           do
           the
           House
           ,
           where
           they
           are
           denied
           a
           full-pot
           ,
           and
           Eleemosynary
           Tobacco
           .
           For
           in
           short
           he
           has
           used
           them
           to
           this
           fulsom
           dyet
           ,
           and
           now
           he
           is
           bound
           in
           honour
           to
           furnish
           his
           Table
           with
           it
           still
           ,
           which
           I
           confess
           he
           can
           do
           at
           a
           cheaper
           rate
           than
           any
           of
           his
           Brethren
           ;
           people
           go
           on
           purpose
           to
           hear
           him
           for
           the
           sake
           of
           that
           defamation
           and
           ribbaldry
           he
           constantly
           provides
           for
           them
           ,
           as
           the
           Sparks
           of
           the
           other
           end
           of
           the
           Town
           visit
           
             B
             —
             rgesse's
          
           Coventicle
           to
           be
           diverted
           with
           tall
           Metaphors
           and
           everlasting
           Grimace
           ,
           so
           that
           a
           Sermon
           of
           his
           would
           no
           more
           pass
           without
           the
           usual
           Ragoust
           of
           reviling
           and
           reproving
           ,
           than
           a
           Smithfield
           Shew
           without
           a
           Ghost
           or
           a
           Devil
           ;
           and
           if
           he
           has
           ever
           a
           mind
           to
           change
           his
           Stile
           ,
           he
           must
           at
           the
           same
           time
           resolve
           to
           change
           his
           County
           .
        
         
           The
           truth
           on
           't
           is
           ,
           both
           the
           Author
           and
           his
           Sermon
           are
           of
           so
           low
           and
           inconsiderable
           a
           Character
           in
           the
           World
           ,
           that
           if
           it
           were
           not
           for
           the
           two
           following
           Reasons
           I
           had
           never
           troubled
           my
           head
           either
           with
           the
           one
           ,
           or
           the
           other
           .
           He
           is
           pleased
           to
           say
           
             pag.
             8.
          
           of
           his
           Sermon
           ,
           That
           to
           let
           a
           Man
           go
           unreproved
           ,
           in
           his
           Sins
           ,
           is
           to
           flatter
           him
           :
           Now
           because
           I
           would
           not
           lie
           under
           the
           severe
           imputation
           of
           flattering
           our
           Author
           (
           for
           I
           had
           much
           rather
           the
           World
           should
           think
           me
           guilty
           of
           all
           the
           seven
           deadly
           Sins
           ,
           than
           of
           that
           single
           scandal
           ,
           )
           I
           was
           easily
           prevailed
           upon
           to
           give
           him
           a
           Chastisement
           ,
           and
           that
           too
           in
           as
           publick
           a
           manner
           as
           his
           Crimes
           deserved
           .
           In
           the
           next
           place
           ,
           he
           had
           unhappily
           ,
           I
           can't
           tell
           how
           ,
           deceived
           some
           ignorant
           people
           into
           a
           great
           opinion
           of
           his
           probity
           and
           learning
           ,
           and
           I
           was
           resolved
           to
           undeceive
           them
           .
           If
           he
           seriously
           designs
           the
           discouraging
           of
           Vice
           ,
           and
           the
           promoting
           of
           piety
           ,
           why
           then
           does
           he
           amuse
           his
           Auditors
           with
           things
           that
           have
           no
           relation
           to
           'em
           ,
           nay
           things
           that
           in
           all
           probability
           will
           render
           the
           rest
           of
           his
           Doctrin
           of
           no
           effect
           ?
           or
           why
           does
           he
           busy
           himself
           in
           a
           province
           where
           he
           's
           no
           more
           concerned
           ,
           than
           our
           present
           unweildy
           Elephant
           of
           a
           Laureat
           in
           any
           of
           the
           City
           Dancing-Schools
           ?
           To
           pretend
           to
           reform
           Mens
           manners
           ,
           and
           yet
           instruct
           'em
           how
           to
           rail
           at
           their
           Pastors
           with
           a
           better
           grace
           ,
           is
           as
           ill-contrived
           a
           piece
           of
           Stupidity
           ,
           as
           to
           encourage
           a
           Boy
           in
           his
           Books
           ,
           and
           yet
           at
           the
           same
           time
           to
           tell
           him
           that
           
           his
           Master
           is
           either
           a
           Raskal
           or
           a
           Blockhead
           .
           Will
           his
           mighty
           bellowing
           against
           Non-residence
           oblige
           the
           Tradesman
           to
           a
           closer
           attendance
           of
           his
           Shop
           ,
           or
           make
           him
           visit
           the
           Tavern
           less
           ?
           Will
           his
           condemning
           of
           Pluralities
           make
           the
           Chirurgeon
           leave
           prescribing
           of
           Physic
           ,
           or
           deter
           the
           Shooemakers
           from
           invading
           the
           Corn-cutter's
           business
           ,
           or
           fright
           the
           wicked
           Coffee-Man
           from
           dealing
           in
           Cherry-Brandy
           and
           Vsquebagh
           ?
           Will
           his
           arraigning
           the
           Clergy
           for
           removing
           from
           a
           poor
           to
           a
           rich
           Benefice
           ,
           have
           that
           effect
           upon
           the
           Mercers
           ,
           and
           Lace
           Men
           ,
           as
           to
           keep
           'em
           in
           the
           City
           ,
           and
           hinder
           them
           from
           exchanging
           Pater-noster-row
           for
           the
           
           Piazza's
           in
           Covent-Garden
           ?
           Or
           lastly
           ,
           Will
           the
           perpetual
           reproaches
           that
           he
           bestows
           so
           liberally
           upon
           his
           Ecclesiastical
           Governors
           ,
           perswade
           the
           Republican
           party
           to
           Sacrifice
           their
           Old
           seditious
           principles
           ,
           and
           talk
           with
           more
           respect
           of
           a
           Monarchy
           for
           the
           future
           ?
           And
           now
           after
           all
           ,
           if
           he
           has
           no
           farther
           designs
           in
           his
           head
           ,
           than
           to
           be
           advanced
           to
           the
           next
           vacant
           Curacy
           or
           Reader
           's
           place
           ,
           since
           by
           his
           insufferable
           behaviour
           he
           has
           lost
           all
           his
           expectations
           elsewhere
           ,
           I
           can
           only
           tell
           him
           he
           's
           exceedingly
           out
           in
           his
           Politics
           ,
           and
           that
           he
           has
           taken
           as
           rude
           and
           unmannerly
           a
           course
           to
           get
           himself
           preferred
           ,
           as
           the
           City
           Marshals
           by
           keeping
           a
           horrid
           noise
           with
           their
           damned
           Drums
           at
           people's
           doors
           ,
           to
           make
           'em
           remember
           their
           Christmass-Box
           .
           For
           my
           own
           part
           I
           must
           needs
           declare
           ,
           that
           I
           look
           upon
           want
           of
           preferment
           to
           be
           the
           chief
           ,
           if
           not
           the
           only
           reason
           of
           our
           Young
           Reformer's
           inveighing
           so
           zealously
           against
           the
           rest
           of
           his
           Brethren
           :
           Whatever
           the
           matter
           is
           ,
           I
           could
           never
           entertain
           any
           great
           opinion
           of
           that
           Man's
           Sanctity
           ,
           let
           his
           life
           be
           never
           so
           austere
           ,
           and
           his
           pretences
           never
           so
           specious
           ,
           that
           places
           the
           better
           part
           of
           his
           Religion
           in
           libelling
           and
           traducing
           his
           Superiours
           :
           Besides
           't
           is
           a
           true
           observation
           ,
           that
           no
           one
           rails
           at
           Pluralities
           so
           strenuously
           ,
           as
           he
           that
           cannot
           arrive
           to
           one
           single
           Benefice
           ;
           as
           we
           see
           no
           Member
           of
           the
           House
           falls
           upon
           the
           Court
           party
           with
           that
           heat
           and
           vigour
           ,
           as
           the
           Man
           that
           designs
           to
           be
           made
           a
           Minister
           of
           State
           for
           his
           pains
           :
           And
           't
           is
           an
           usual
           thing
           for
           those
           that
           are
           forced
           to
           trudge
           it
           a
           foot
           in
           the
           dirt
           ,
           to
           wish
           the
           Devil
           had
           all
           those
           Persons
           that
           ride
           by
           in
           their
           Glass-coaches
           .
        
         
           He
           quotes
           
           Aristotle's
           Rhetorick
           pag.
           the
           17th
           ,
           for
           that
           memorable
           saying
           of
           his
           ,
           That
           
             Riches
             make
             Men
             haughty
             and
             insolent
             ,
          
           (
           tho'
           it
           seems
           ,
           Poverty
           has
           had
           the
           same
           Effects
           upon
           
           himself
           )
           and
           thus
           a
           St.
           Bernard
           or
           a
           St.
           
           Austin's
           Name
           have
           been
           used
           in
           a
           Country
           Pulpit
           to
           prove
           that
           Patience
           is
           an
           excellent
           Vertue
           ,
           or
           to
           justifie
           any
           of
           the
           most
           common
           received
           ,
           notorious
           Truths
           .
           But
           however
           with
           Reverence
           be
           it
           spoken
           ,
           a
           Man
           that
           will
           give
           himself
           the
           trouble
           to
           read
           his
           Sermon
           ,
           would
           no
           more
           suspect
           that
           he
           was
           acquainted
           with
           
           Aristotle's
           Rhetorick
           ,
           than
           that
           Mr.
           
             H
             —
             rris
          
           or
           Mr.
           
             P
             —
             wel
          
           ,
           or
           any
           of
           the
           Modern
           Play-writing
           Actors
           are
           acquainted
           with
           
           Aristotle's
           Criticisms
           upon
           Poetry
           .
           There
           's
           a
           continued
           vein
           of
           vicious
           Language
           and
           Reasoning
           that
           runs
           through
           all
           the
           Discourse
           ;
           and
           were
           it
           not
           ,
           that
           the
           whole
           Sermon
           from
           the
           beginning
           to
           the
           end
           is
           exactly
           of
           the
           same
           Piece
           and
           Contexture
           ,
           I
           would
           cull
           out
           some
           of
           the
           most
           remarkable
           Passages
           in
           it
           for
           the
           Reader
           's
           Diversion
           as
           well
           as
           his
           farther
           Satisfaction
           .
           But
           now
           I
           think
           better
           on
           't
           ,
           we
           were
           not
           to
           expect
           any
           such
           thing
           as
           Rhetorick
           from
           our
           Author
           ,
           for
           
             pag.
             6.
          
           he
           very
           gravely
           rebukes
           all
           those
           Ministers
           that
           
             come
             to
             Church
             to
             make
             Speeches
             ,
             and
             to
             preach
             Themselves
             ,
             and
             turn
             the
             Church
             into
             a
          
           Theatre
           
             and
             the
             Pulpit
             into
             a
          
           Rostrum
           .
           We
           know
           well
           enough
           for
           whom
           this
           surly
           Reproof
           was
           meant
           ,
           but
           for
           this
           once
           let
           it
           fall
           upon
           our
           Authors
           dearest
           Friends
           the
           Fanatick
           Divines
           ,
           for
           I
           am
           certain
           they
           deserve
           it
           best
           .
           Those
           that
           now
           and
           then
           go
           to
           hear
           'em
           ,
           know
           that
           they
           make
           Speeches
           ,
           and
           fine
           ones
           too
           ,
           if
           the
           Hour-glass
           may
           be
           allowed
           to
           be
           Iudge
           ;
           and
           that
           they
           preach
           Themselves
           ,
           especially
           towards
           the
           end
           of
           a
           Quarter
           ,
           when
           the
           People
           are
           to
           be
           reminded
           of
           their
           Contribution-Mony
           ,
           and
           that
           to
           Mr.
           Betterton's
           loss
           ,
           by
           their
           several
           ridiculous
           Postures
           and
           Actions
           they
           turn
           the
           Church
           into
           a
           Theatre
           ;
           and
           where
           's
           the
           wonder
           ?
           for
           their
           devout
           Forefathers
           used
           to
           turn
           'em
           into
           Stables
           .
           I
           must
           confess
           ,
           I
           am
           no
           passionate
           admirer
           of
           any
           formal
           set
           Discourses
           ,
           where
           one
           meets
           a
           great
           deal
           of
           good
           Language
           ,
           but
           very
           sorry
           Sense
           or
           Thought
           at
           the
           bottom
           ;
           and
           yet
           I
           cannot
           endure
           to
           see
           a
           noble
           Subject
           labour
           under
           the
           weight
           of
           barbarous
           Expressions
           ,
           nor
           can
           I
           possibly
           bring
           my self
           to
           be
           of
           the
           same
           opinion
           with
           the
           generality
           of
           the
           Non-conformist
           Ministers
           amongst
           us
           ,
           who
           either
           out
           of
           ignorance
           or
           design
           lard
           their
           lean
           Sermons
           with
           the
           most
           fulsom
           Metaphors
           ,
           and
           the
           meanest
           Words
           they
           can
           meet
           ,
           
           or
           if
           they
           have
           none
           of
           these
           ready
           to
           their
           hands
           ,
           make
           no
           more
           scruple
           of
           coining
           new
           ones
           of
           the
           same
           quality
           (
           such
           as
           
             Nothingness
             ,
             Self-savingness
          
           ,
           &c.
           )
           than
           the
           Modern
           Souldiery
           of
           stamping
           one
           of
           their
           Pewter
           Buttons
           into
           a
           Farthing
           .
           To
           think
           that
           the
           Christian
           Religion
           is
           profan'd
           by
           good
           Language
           ,
           or
           that
           clean
           Eloquence
           in
           a
           Discourse
           of
           Piety
           is
           as
           insignificant
           as
           (
           if
           I
           may
           borrow
           a
           Simile
           from
           the
           Apocrypha
           )
           a
           Scare-crow
           is
           in
           a
           Garden
           of
           Cucumbers
           ,
           is
           a
           gross
           ridiculous
           piece
           of
           Superstition
           ;
           and
           can
           only
           be
           excused
           by
           the
           sottish
           Reveries
           of
           the
           Capuchins
           ,
           and
           other
           doting
           Orders
           in
           the
           Church
           of
           Rome
           ,
           who
           place
           the
           greatest
           part
           of
           their
           Devotion
           in
           being
           nasty
           and
           slovenly
           ,
           and
           fancy
           they
           dishonour
           God
           Almighty
           by
           wearing
           a
           clean
           Shirt
           .
        
         
           I
           have
           dwelt
           the
           longer
           upon
           our
           Author
           in
           the
           Preface
           ,
           because
           I
           was
           resolved
           to
           allow
           him
           but
           a
           very
           small
           share
           in
           the
           Dialogue
           .
           His
           two
           Companions
           Mr.
           Pryn
           ,
           and
           the
           blustering
           Theologue
           of
           Colchester
           ,
           as
           they
           are
           too
           well
           known
           by
           their
           Works
           to
           put
           any
           one
           to
           the
           expence
           of
           writing
           their
           Characters
           ,
           so
           they
           were
           persons
           of
           better
           Sense
           and
           Malice
           ,
           and
           consequently
           more
           likely
           to
           entertain
           the
           Reader
           with
           their
           Conversation
           .
           When
           I
           was
           talking
           of
           the
           most
           memorable
           occurrences
           that
           lately
           happened
           ,
           I
           cowd
           not
           forbear
           to
           enlarge
           a
           little
           about
           the
           Merits
           of
           the
           Comprehension
           ,
           and
           when
           my
           Hand
           was
           in
           there
           ,
           to
           bestow
           a
           visit
           upon
           my
           old
           Friend
           of
           White-Chappel
           .
           No
           sensible
           man
           I
           presume
           will
           be
           angry
           with
           me
           ,
           if
           I
           have
           not
           treated
           him
           with
           that
           Respect
           and
           Decorum
           that
           ought
           to
           be
           used
           towards
           Persons
           of
           his
           Function
           and
           Station
           :
           For
           if
           this
           sort
           of
           Style
           is
           criminal
           ,
           it
           must
           be
           remembred
           that
           he
           gave
           the
           occasion
           and
           that
           I
           have
           only
           copied
           from
           his
           
             Answer
             to
             the
          
           Vox
           Cleri
           .
           It
           would
           raise
           any
           Man's
           Indignation
           ,
           that
           is
           not
           altogether
           composed
           of
           those
           two
           very
           bad
           Monosyllables
           ,
           Phlegm
           and
           Schism
           ,
           to
           find
           him
           there
           so
           barbarously
           insulting
           upon
           the
           Ashes
           of
           the
           late
           blessed
           Royal
           Martyr●
           ,
           and
           insinuating
           that
           the
           
             Immortal
             Portraiture
          
           is
           a
           spurious
           piece
           ;
           but
           to
           our
           comfort
           be
           it
           observed
           ,
           he
           has
           past
           the
           same
           Censure
           upon
           St.
           
           Ignatius's
           Epistles
           .
           In
           the
           same
           Book
           with
           his
           usual
           good
           Manners
           and
           Breeding
           he
           scurrilously
           reflects
           upon
           two
           as
           eminent
           Men
           as
           any
           we
           have
           in
           the
           Church
           ,
           who
           are
           as
           
           much
           above
           his
           little
           Invectives
           ,
           as
           they
           scorn
           the
           little
           Tribute
           of
           his
           Panegyricks
           .
           And
           he
           likewise
           abuses
           two
           other
           great
           Ornaments
           of
           our
           Nation
           ,
           after
           another
           way
           ,
           that
           is
           ,
           with
           a
           great
           deal
           of
           his
           nauseous
           thredbare
           Flattery
           ,
           in
           hope
           ,
           I
           suppose
           ,
           of
           being
           preferr'd
           by
           them
           .
           But
           this
           ,
           in
           my
           Opinion
           ,
           is
           the
           most
           scandalous
           ,
           and
           if
           I
           may
           so
           call
           it
           ,
           the
           most
           Vncanonical
           Simony
           any
           Man
           can
           be
           guilty
           of
           .
           For
           my
           own
           Particular
           ,
           I
           must
           needs
           confess
           ,
           That
           as
           Augustus
           was
           pleased
           to
           say
           of
           K.
           Herod
           ,
           That
           he
           would
           rather
           chuse
           to
           be
           his
           Hog
           than
           his
           Son
           :
           So
           in
           relation
           to
           the
           above-mentioned
           Dr.
           I
           would
           rather
           chuse
           to
           be
           his
           Adversary
           than
           his
           Friend
           .
           As
           I
           was
           his
           Adversary
           I
           could
           only
           lie
           open
           to
           the
           feeble
           Efforts
           of
           his
           Malice
           ,
           which
           can
           injure
           no
           body
           :
           But
           if
           I
           were
           so
           unfortunate
           as
           to
           be
           thought
           his
           Friend
           ,
           I
           could
           not
           promise
           my self
           to
           be
           secure
           from
           his
           Panegyricks
           ,
           which
           ,
           as
           they
           may
           render
           a
           Man's
           Reputation
           suspected
           ,
           so
           they
           are
           the
           most
           dreadful
           terrible
           things
           in
           the
           whole
           World.
           
        
         
           If
           I
           have
           done
           any
           thing
           for
           which
           I
           am
           to
           beg
           the
           Reader
           's
           pardon
           ,
           't
           is
           for
           suffering
           so
           inconsiderable
           a
           Trifle
           to
           sleep
           so
           long
           in
           my
           hands
           .
           Not
           to
           conceal
           any
           of
           my
           Infirmities
           from
           the
           World
           ,
           I
           am
           sometimes
           possessed
           with
           the
           Spirit
           of
           Laziness
           as
           well
           as
           other
           People
           ,
           especially
           when
           't
           is
           my
           fortune
           to
           light
           upon
           a
           dull
           Subject
           ,
           and
           then
           I
           use
           to
           retard
           and
           delay
           the
           Affair
           ,
           as
           naturally
           ,
           as
           a
           Lawyer
           does
           an
           unpaying
           Clients
           Cause
           .
           But
           of
           all
           things
           in
           the
           World
           I
           should
           never
           desire
           to
           be
           forgiven
           for
           pursuing
           my
           Argument
           with
           too
           much
           Severity
           ,
           if
           I
           had
           done
           it
           ,
           as
           indeed
           I
           have
           not
           .
           For
           besides
           that
           some
           Parties
           as
           well
           as
           Persons
           I
           could
           name
           ,
           deserve
           no
           Quarter
           at
           an
           Enemies
           Hand
           ,
           so
           a
           weak
           impotent
           Performance
           is
           full
           as
           inexcusable
           in
           Raillery
           ,
           as
           it
           is
           in
           the
           business
           of
           Love
           :
           And
           an
           Adversary
           ,
           let
           his
           Character
           be
           what
           it
           will
           ,
           is
           like
           a
           Nettle
           ;
           if
           you
           touch
           him
           gently
           ,
           he
           certainly
           pricks
           and
           stings
           you
           for
           your
           Civility
           ;
           but
           if
           you
           squeeze
           him
           hard
           ,
           't
           is
           ten
           to
           one
           you
           hear
           no
           more
           of
           him
           .
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
           A
           DIALOGUE
           BETWEEN
           Hick
           —
           and
           David
           ,
           and
           
           Pryn's
           Ghost
           .
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             BLESS
             me
             !
             Whereabouts
             am
             I
             ?
             Have
             I
             mistaken
             my
             way
             or
             no
             ?
             Well
             ,
             I
             am
             resolved
             to
             enquire
             of
             the
             next
             Man
             I
             meet
             ,
             that
             I
             may
             be
             satisfied
             .
             See
             ,
             here
             one
             comes
             ,
             but
             he
             's
             a
             Levite
             I
             perceive
             by
             his
             garb
             ,
             and
             they
             are
             a
             sort
             of
             People
             I
             never
             much
             fancied
             in
             all
             my
             Life
             ,
             no
             more
             than
             the
             rest
             of
             my
             Profession
             .
             I
             'll
             venture
             however
             to
             accost
             him
             —
             Reverend
             Sir
             ,
             your
             humble
             Servant
             .
             If
             your
             occasions
             are
             not
             very
             pressing
             ,
             I
             wou'd
             desire
             the
             favour
             of
             you
             to
             satisfie
             me
             in
             a
             certain
             scruple
             that
             troubles
             me
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             A
             very
             odd
             formal
             Fellow
             this
             !
             Satisfie
             you
             in
             a
             certain
             Scruple
             do
             you
             say
             ?
             Come
             then
             ,
             dispatch
             honest
             Friend
             as
             soon
             as
             you
             can
             ;
             Dispatch
             I
             say
             out
             of
             hand
             .
             For
             —
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             Sir
             ,
             't
             will
             be
             soon
             resolved
             ,
             there
             's
             no
             great
             difficulty
             in
             the
             question
             ,
             I
             can
             assure
             you
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Prithee
             Friend
             don't
             banter
             me
             with
             any
             of
             your
             
               assure
               me
               's
            
             .
             I
             tell
             you
             my
             name
             is
             Hick
             —
             of
             Colchester
             ,
             and
             therefore
             don't
             amuse
             me
             with
             any
             tedious
             ,
             flourishes
             at
             your
             peril
             .
             If
             you
             have
             any
             Scruple
             about
             the
             Legality
             of
             the
             Spiritual
             Courts
             ,
             why
             here
             's
             my
             
               Naked
               Truth
            
             for
             you
             :
             or
             if
             your
             Scruple
             has
             any
             relation
             to
             the
             Liturgy
             ,
             then
             make
             use
             of
             my
             Ceremony-Monger
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             No
             ,
             I
             thank
             you
             Sir
             ,
             't
             is
             nothing
             of
             that
             nature
             —
             In
             short
             Sir
             ,
             I
             wou'd
             only
             request
             you
             to
             inform
             me
             where
             I
             am
             ,
             and
             what
             is
             the
             name
             of
             this
             place
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Sure
             this
             old
             fashion'd
             Gentleman
             designs
             to
             put
             a
             trick
             upon
             me
             ,
             but
             I
             'll
             soon
             cure
             him
             of
             his
             jesting
             humor
             Why
             really
             honest
             Friend
             ,
             this
             Question
             of
             yours
             ,
             as
             you
             told
             me
             ,
             carries
             no
             great
             difficulty
             with
             it
             ;
             but
             what
             wou'd
             you
             say
             to
             me
             now
             ,
             if
             I
             should
             give
             my self
             the
             trouble
             to
             beat
             you
             most
             immoderately
             ,
             if
             I
             should
             pull
             you
             by
             your
             worshipful
             Nose
             ,
             or
             bestow
             a
             perpetual
             Almanac
             upon
             you
             Bones
             ,
             before
             I
             go
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             deserve
             no
             such
             usage
             from
             your
             hands
             .
             Upon
             my
             Sincerity
             ,
             Reverend
             Sir
             ,
             I
             meant
             you
             no
             harm
             by
             my
             question
             .
             'T
             is
             not
             my
             way
             to
             impose
             upon
             any
             Man.
             I
             am
             really
             ignorant
             of
             the
             name
             of
             this
             place
             ,
             and
             must
             once
             more
             desire
             you
             to
             tell
             me
             where
             I
             am
             .
             I
             find
             I
             must
             give
             my
             Levite
             good
             Words
             .
             'T
             is
             a
             huge
             thundring
             two
             handed
             Theologue
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Aside
             .
          
           
             Stay
             ,
             let
             me
             consider
             a
             little
             .
             By
             that
             sanctified
             Aspect
             ,
             and
             formal
             Band
             he
             should
             be
             none
             of
             those
             persons
             that
             use
             to
             make
             sport
             with
             People
             in
             the
             Streets
             .
             'T
             is
             certainly
             some
             Scotch
             Minister
             or
             other
             that
             lost
             himself
             in
             a
             Vision
             last
             night
             ,
             and
             is
             not
             yet
             recovered
             .
             —
             Well
             Sir
             ,
             I
             believe
             your
             Intentions
             are
             honest
             ,
             and
             that
             you
             had
             no
             design
             to
             Put
             the
             Doctor
             upon
             me
             ,
             as
             the
             saying
             is
             .
             You
             must
             know
             then
             you
             are
             in
             London
             ,
             but
             I
             profess
             I
             wonder
             in
             my
             heart
             how
             you
             cou'd
             be
             ignorant
             of
             it
             ?
             You
             are
             a
             Stranger
             to
             this
             City
             without
             question
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             No
             Sir
             ,
             that
             is
             your
             mistake
             .
             I
             have
             a
             great
             deal
             of
             reason
             ,
             I
             am
             sure
             ,
             to
             remember
             it
             .
             I
             lived
             the
             better
             part
             of
             my
             Life
             in
             this
             place
             ,
             and
             I
             can
             never
             reflect
             upon
             it
             without
             the
             most
             sensible
             concern
             in
             the
             World.
             If
             you
             were
             acquainted
             with
             my
             Name
             and
             History
             ,
             you
             'd
             say
             the
             same
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Why
             this
             is
             stranger
             and
             stranger
             still
             .
             Cou'd
             you
             pass
             the
             better
             part
             of
             your
             Life
             in
             this
             Town
             ,
             and
             yet
             not
             know
             the
             Name
             of
             it
             ?
             Not
             to
             use
             any
             Ceremony
             with
             you
             ,
             Honest
             Friend
             ,
             in
             my
             opinion
             you
             must
             be
             either
             drunk
             or
             mad
             ,
             chuse
             which
             you
             please
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Neither
             Sir
             ,
             I
             am
             the
             Ghost
             of
             
               William
               Pryn
            
             ,
             formerly
             Utter
             Barrister
             of
             Lincolns-Inn
             yonder
             ,
             a
             Man
             that
             made
             no
             insignificant
             figure
             in
             the
             World.
             I
             presume
             a
             person
             of
             your
             years
             and
             gravity
             cannot
             be
             unacquainted
             with
             my
             Writings
             
             and
             Sufferings
             here
             .
             Judge
             you
             then
             ,
             whether
             I
             have
             not
             reason
             enough
             to
             remember
             this
             City
             ;
             only
             the
             new
             Buildings
             and
             strange
             Alterations
             every
             where
             so
             surprized
             me
             at
             first
             ,
             that
             I
             cou'd
             not
             positively
             determin
             where
             I
             was
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             And
             are
             you
             the
             Ghost
             then
             of
             
               William
               Pryn
            
             of
             happy
             Memory
             ?
             I
             profess
             I
             am
             ravished
             with
             joy
             to
             behold
             you
             .
             How
             can
             I
             ever
             thank
             my
             Stars
             sufficiently
             for
             furnishing
             me
             with
             so
             favourable
             an
             interview
             !
             Tho'
             I
             have
             some
             business
             of
             great
             moment
             and
             consequence
             that
             calls
             me
             to
             the
             other
             end
             of
             the
             Town
             ,
             yet
             I
             am
             resolved
             to
             sacrifice
             it
             for
             this
             time
             to
             enjoy
             the
             happiness
             of
             your
             learned
             Conversation
             .
             —
             Well
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             I
             must
             needs
             own
             ,
             you
             have
             reason
             enough
             in
             all
             conscience
             to
             remember
             this
             sinful
             wicked
             Town
             ;
             Here
             ,
             unless
             the
             Chronicle
             misinforms
             me
             ,
             you
             lost
             a
             pair
             of
             Ears
             to
             the
             Indignation
             of
             a
             cruel
             persecuting
             Arch-Bishop
             :
             Here
             you
             encounter'd
             with
             Prelacy
             and
             Superstition
             ,
             and
             here
             you
             erected
             an
             everlasting
             Trophy
             upon
             the
             demolished
             Abomination
             of
             high
             places
             .
             'T
             is
             impossible
             for
             me
             to
             tell
             you
             ,
             what
             an
             exceeding
             pleasure
             I
             take
             in
             seeing
             you
             ;
             and
             I
             am
             inclin'd
             to
             flatter
             my self
             ,
             that
             my
             Company
             wou'd
             not
             be
             altogether
             disagreeable
             to
             you
             ,
             if
             you
             were
             better
             acquainted
             with
             my
             Character
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             'll
             extreamly
             oblige
             me
             ,
             dear
             Sir
             ,
             if
             you
             will
             be
             pleased
             to
             give
             me
             a
             relation
             of
             your
             Life
             .
             But
             may
             a
             Stranger
             make
             so
             bold
             as
             to
             request
             this
             favour
             at
             your
             hands
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             I
             told
             you
             before
             ,
             Hick
             —
             is
             my
             Name
             ,
             and
             Colchester
             is
             the
             place
             of
             my
             Habitation
             .
             I
             have
             in
             my
             time
             wrestled
             with
             a
             mighty
             Prelate
             as
             well
             as
             your self
             ,
             and
             declaimed
             as
             heartily
             against
             the
             Exactions
             of
             
               Doctors
               Commons
            
             ,
             as
             ever
             you
             did
             against
             the
             illegal
             Oppressions
             of
             the
             Star-Chamber
             .
             'T
             is
             true
             ,
             the
             Books
             I
             have
             wrote
             for
             the
             common
             cause
             are
             not
             as
             yet
             arrived
             to
             a
             Cart-load
             ;
             but
             then
             give
             me
             leave
             to
             tell
             you
             they
             are
             full
             as
             tuant
             ,
             and
             as
             well
             stored
             with
             Invectives
             as
             any
             of
             yours
             .
             I
             have
             as
             great
             an
             Aversion
             to
             Episcopacy
             as
             your
             voluminous
             self
             ,
             and
             never
             failed
             to
             bellow
             against
             the
             Ceremonies
             and
             Discipline
             of
             the
             Church
             as
             often
             as
             I
             had
             an
             opportunity
             to
             do
             it
             .
             Indeed
             as
             to
             the
             point
             of
             Sufferings
             ,
             I
             must
             own
             my self
             inferior
             to
             you
             ,
             tho'
             that
             was
             none
             of
             my
             fault
             .
             A
             short
             Imprisonment
             ,
             a
             Suspension
             and
             the
             Formality
             of
             making
             a
             Recantation
             .
             (
             which
             I
             had
             the
             grace
             to
             disown
             the
             very
             next
             
             moment
             )
             were
             the
             utmost
             of
             my
             punishment
             ;
             but
             then
             as
             for
             a
             hearty
             ,
             through-paced
             inclination
             to
             the
             Cause
             ,
             I
             cannot
             prevail
             with
             my self
             to
             allow
             you
             the
             precedence
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             am
             glad
             to
             meet
             with
             a
             Person
             of
             my
             own
             Complexion
             and
             Humour
             :
             But
             Sir
             ,
             now
             we
             are
             here
             ,
             between
             our selves
             ,
             is
             it
             not
             unnatural
             and
             odd
             for
             a
             Man
             of
             the
             Indelible
             Character
             ,
             to
             rail
             at
             his
             Brethren
             of
             the
             same
             Profession
             ?
             Does
             it
             not
             sound
             ill
             in
             the
             World
             ,
             for
             a
             Son
             of
             the
             Church
             ,
             and
             one
             that
             gets
             his
             Bread
             by
             the
             Church
             ,
             to
             rail
             openly
             at
             his
             Mother
             ,
             and
             endeavour
             to
             undermine
             her
             Settlement
             ?
             You
             know
             what
             the
             Satyrist
             long
             agoe
             observed
             ,
             
               Parcit
               cognatis
               maculis
               similis
               fera
            
             .
             Now
             as
             for
             my self
             ,
             I
             was
             a
             Lawyer
             ,
             and
             we
             Lawyers
             as
             all
             the
             World
             can
             tell
             you
             ,
             could
             never
             set
             our
             Horses
             with
             the
             Clergy
             .
             We
             look
             upon
             you
             as
             a
             generation
             of
             Men
             ,
             that
             have
             established
             a
             distinct
             interest
             from
             that
             of
             the
             Civil
             Government
             ;
             for
             when
             ever
             you
             find
             any
             extremities
             from
             that
             quarter
             ,
             you
             presently
             betake
             your selves
             to
             the
             Sanctuary
             of
             your
             Spiritual
             Kingdom
             .
             Besides
             ,
             not
             to
             recount
             the
             Quarrels
             we
             have
             to
             your
             Civilians
             ,
             and
             the
             Managers
             of
             your
             Ecclesiastical
             Thunder
             ,
             we
             hate
             all
             your
             Tribe
             for
             spoiling
             so
             many
             good
             Law-Suits
             as
             you
             do
             ;
             by
             Preaching
             up
             those
             old
             ,
             musty
             Doctrins
             of
             Love
             and
             Unity
             ,
             and
             promoting
             so
             many
             References
             and
             Arbitrations
             amongst
             the
             People
             ,
             to
             the
             grief
             and
             prejudice
             of
             all
             the
             poor
             Suffering
             Sons
             of
             Cook
             upon
             Littleton
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             never
             expected
             such
             a
             Reprimand
             from
             Mr.
             Pryn
             :
             If
             you
             were
             but
             tolerably
             acquainted
             with
             my
             History
             ,
             I
             am
             sure
             you
             would
             never
             Tax
             me
             with
             the
             guilt
             of
             propagating
             Peace
             and
             Unity
             in
             my
             Parish
             .
             Indeed
             if
             a
             Pious
             endeavour
             to
             set
             all
             Mankind
             together
             by
             the
             Ears
             ,
             is
             the
             way
             to
             advance
             Peace
             and
             Unity
             in
             the
             World
             ,
             I
             will
             willingly
             submit
             to
             all
             the
             scandal
             of
             your
             imputation
             .
             But
             is
             it
             possible
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             that
             you
             are
             so
             far
             altered
             from
             what
             you
             were
             formerly
             ,
             as
             to
             reproach
             me
             with
             following
             your
             own
             Copy
             ,
             that
             is
             ,
             with
             railing
             at
             the
             Discipline
             and
             Ceremonies
             of
             the
             Church
             ,
             and
             siding
             with
             the
             Fanatick
             Party
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             No
             ,
             No
             ,
             Heroick
             Sir
             ,
             you
             have
             quite
             mistaken
             my
             meaning
             ;
             I
             only
             made
             bold
             to
             tell
             you
             ,
             that
             it
             looks
             a
             little
             unnatural
             methinks
             ,
             to
             see
             a
             Clergyman
             expose
             the
             miscarriages
             
             of
             the
             Men
             of
             his
             own
             order
             ;
             but
             at
             the
             same
             time
             I
             was
             very
             far
             from
             quarrelling
             with
             you
             in
             the
             least
             upon
             that
             score
             .
             You
             may
             take
             my
             word
             ,
             (
             and
             you
             have
             no
             reason
             to
             think
             that
             any
             of
             the
             Dead
             would
             be
             guilty
             of
             Flattery
             )
             that
             I
             heartily
             caress
             and
             thank
             you
             for
             the
             good
             Services
             you
             have
             done
             us
             ;
             for
             I
             was
             always
             of
             Opinion
             ,
             that
             there
             is
             no
             way
             so
             effectual
             to
             ruin
             the
             Church
             ,
             as
             by
             engaging
             some
             of
             her
             own
             Members
             to
             carry
             on
             the
             Design
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             You
             say
             right
             ,
             't
             is
             indeed
             the
             securest
             way
             in
             the
             World
             to
             bring
             about
             such
             an
             undertaking
             ;
             for
             when
             any
             of
             the
             Laity
             bestow
             their
             Invectives
             very
             liberally
             upon
             the
             Church
             ,
             the
             People
             are
             apt
             to
             suspect
             that
             Devotion
             and
             Honesty
             have
             ●
             very
             little
             share
             in
             the
             matter
             ,
             but
             that
             either
             a
             Principle
             of
             Malice
             ,
             or
             some
             particular
             picque
             or
             other
             has
             imbitter'd
             them
             against
             the
             Clergy
             :
             But
             now
             't
             is
             a
             different
             case
             with
             those
             of
             my
             Function
             ;
             if
             we
             reproach
             our
             Brethren
             with
             their
             Ignorance
             ,
             we
             purchase
             our selves
             the
             Reputation
             of
             Learned
             ,
             Able
             Men
             ;
             if
             we
             accuse
             'em
             of
             a
             Persecuting
             Spirit
             ,
             we
             are
             presently
             extolled
             for
             Persons
             of
             Moderation
             ;
             if
             we
             rail
             at
             them
             for
             their
             Immoralities
             ,
             O
             what
             a
             Sober
             Primitive
             Minister
             is
             this
             ,
             though
             perhaps
             he
             takes
             off
             his
             half
             Dozen
             Bottles
             of
             Claret
             before
             he
             goes
             to
             Bed.
             If
             we
             keep
             a
             great
             Pother
             about
             Pluralities
             and
             Non-residence
             ,
             why
             here
             's
             a
             true
             Labourer
             in
             the
             Vineyard
             for
             you
             ;
             and
             if
             we
             tell
             our
             People
             that
             Ceremonies
             are
             but
             Foolish
             ,
             Impertinent
             things
             ,
             and
             meer
             Human
             Inventions
             ,
             the
             Congregation
             immediately
             cries
             us
             up
             for
             Pastors
             that
             have
             the
             Power
             of
             Godliness
             ,
             and
             are
             disingaged
             from
             all
             the
             prejudices
             of
             Superstition
             and
             Will-worship
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             find
             ,
             Dear
             Sir
             ,
             you
             are
             not
             to
             learn
             your
             Trade
             from
             me
             ;
             you
             are
             infinitely
             above
             any
             of
             my
             poor
             instructions
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             'T
             is
             true
             ,
             the
             discerning
             part
             of
             Mankind
             ,
             are
             too
             wise
             to
             be
             shamm'd
             after
             this
             rate
             ;
             they
             are
             sensible
             enough
             ,
             that
             't
             is
             either
             want
             of
             Preferment
             ,
             or
             some
             private
             grudge
             that
             makes
             us
             take
             up
             the
             Cudgels
             against
             our
             Brethren
             ;
             but
             then
             their
             Number
             is
             too
             small
             ,
             and
             consequently
             too
             contemptible
             to
             be
             regarded
             ;
             and
             you
             know
             't
             is
             our
             Business
             to
             gain
             the
             Hearts
             of
             the
             Mobb
             ,
             and
             not
             to
             angle
             for
             Wise
             Men.
             
             I
             am
             sure
             I
             have
             abundantly
             found
             the
             benefit
             of
             this
             Conduct
             ;
             the
             People
             every
             where
             take
             me
             for
             an
             Oracle
             ,
             and
             what
             is
             ten
             times
             more
             surprizing
             ,
             they
             are
             such
             invincible
             Fools
             ,
             as
             to
             cheat
             themselves
             into
             a
             belief
             of
             my
             great
             Zeal
             and
             Sincerity
             .
             Thus
             I
             have
             so
             far
             compassed
             my
             Designs
             ,
             that
             the
             Church
             is
             generally
             disrespected
             for
             my
             sake
             ;
             and
             that
             ,
             I
             need
             not
             tell
             you
             ,
             is
             no
             small
             advance
             towards
             its
             Ruin.
             At
             the
             same
             time
             I
             am
             obliged
             to
             tell
             you
             ,
             that
             I
             received
             no
             inconsiderable
             assistance
             in
             this
             affair
             ,
             from
             a
             sort
             of
             Men
             who
             are
             stiled
             in
             the
             Modern
             Language
             ,
             Sons
             of
             Comprehension
             ;
             who
             if
             they
             had
             been
             permitted
             to
             have
             pursued
             the
             Reformation
             they
             designed
             ,
             had
             certainly
             ruin'd
             the
             Established
             Church
             ,
             which
             thing
             you
             know
             the
             Dissenters
             have
             been
             zealously
             driving
             at
             all
             this
             last
             Century
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Sons
             of
             Comprehension
             do
             you
             say
             ?
             I
             can't
             imagine
             what
             you
             mean
             by
             the
             word
             .
             Is
             it
             then
             a
             spick
             and
             span
             new
             Faction
             in
             the
             State
             ,
             or
             an
             old
             one
             newly
             furbish'd
             up
             ?
             What
             do
             these
             Men
             design
             ,
             or
             to
             what
             Church
             do
             they
             pretend
             to
             belong
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Why
             truly
             honest
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             they
             all
             of
             'em
             give
             out
             that
             they
             are
             Zealous
             Members
             of
             the
             Established
             Church
             ,
             and
             yet
             no
             Men
             ever
             contributed
             more
             to
             the
             Ruin
             and
             Destruction
             of
             it
             than
             they
             have
             done
             .
             Their
             business
             in
             short
             was
             this
             ;
             to
             remove
             some
             of
             those
             Ceremonies
             that
             were
             Eye-sores
             to
             the
             Brethren
             ever
             since
             the
             Reformation
             ,
             ;
             to
             castrate
             the
             Liturgy
             ;
             to
             abdicate
             the
             Apocrypha
             ;
             to
             enervate
             the
             Ecclesiastical
             Discipline
             ;
             to
             reduce
             Episcopal
             Jurisdiction
             into
             narrower
             Bounds
             ,
             and
             extend
             that
             of
             the
             Inferior
             Presbyters
             :
             In
             fine
             ,
             to
             leave
             it
             to
             the
             Discretion
             of
             the
             Minister
             ,
             to
             read
             as
             few
             or
             as
             many
             of
             the
             publick
             Prayers
             as
             he
             should
             judge
             convenient
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Well
             ,
             I
             find
             Miracles
             are
             not
             ceas'd
             amongst
             you
             here
             in
             this
             World
             ;
             but
             who
             could
             ever
             imagine
             that
             any
             of
             those
             Gentlemen
             ,
             who
             some
             Years
             agoe
             defended
             every
             Ceremony
             of
             the
             Church
             with
             so
             much
             Pains
             and
             Zeal
             against
             the
             Attaques
             of
             their
             Adversaries
             ,
             should
             be
             so
             strangely
             altered
             on
             the
             sudden
             ,
             as
             to
             part
             with
             them
             freely
             ,
             and
             thereby
             give
             an
             occasion
             to
             the
             ill-natured
             World
             ,
             to
             conclude
             
             that
             they
             were
             all
             this
             while
             in
             the
             wrong
             ,
             and
             their
             Enemies
             in
             the
             right
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             I
             cannot
             forbear
             Laughing
             ,
             as
             often
             as
             I
             think
             of
             the
             Conceit
             :
             Some
             of
             'em
             were
             well-meaning
             Men
             ,
             and
             hoped
             by
             these
             Alterations
             to
             bring
             over
             the
             most
             considerable
             part
             of
             the
             Dissenters
             to
             Church
             .
             Others
             found
             their
             interest
             in
             this
             Conduct
             ;
             for
             since
             the
             late
             Revolution
             ,
             the
             Court
             ,
             you
             must
             understand
             ,
             seem'd
             to
             favour
             those
             Persons
             who
             were
             for
             advancing
             the
             Comprehension
             .
             Lastly
             ,
             others
             (
             in
             which
             number
             I
             reckon
             my self
             ,
             )
             were
             willing
             to
             be
             revenged
             of
             the
             Church
             for
             its
             ill-usage
             of
             'em
             formerly
             ,
             and
             now
             had
             as
             favourable
             an
             opportunity
             as
             Men
             could
             possibly
             wish
             ,
             to
             effect
             their
             Design
             .
             Thus
             you
             see
             that
             Indiscretion
             in
             some
             ,
             Ambition
             in
             others
             ;
             but
             in
             the
             most
             a
             spirit
             of
             Malice
             or
             Revenge
             ,
             promoted
             the
             affair
             .
             It
             would
             take
             up
             too
             much
             time
             to
             tell
             you
             with
             what
             intreague
             and
             vigour
             this
             Blessed
             work
             ,
             as
             't
             was
             commonly
             called
             ,
             was
             recommended
             to
             the
             pious
             care
             of
             the
             Convocation
             that
             was
             conven'd
             for
             this
             purpose
             .
             One
             County
             petition'd
             to
             have
             
             Tobit's
             Dog
             lashed
             out
             of
             the
             Church
             ;
             another
             presented
             their
             Grievance
             against
             Bell
             and
             the
             Dragon
             .
             Some
             were
             earnest
             to
             have
             the
             Athanasian
             Creed
             discarded
             ;
             some
             were
             for
             Purging
             the
             Service
             of
             Matrimony
             from
             Obscenity
             ;
             others
             desired
             to
             have
             a
             new
             Set
             of
             Collects
             ,
             because
             the
             old
             ones
             were
             worn
             Thread-bare
             with
             continual
             wearing
             ;
             some
             thought
             the
             Prayers
             too
             tedious
             ,
             others
             thought
             them
             too
             short
             .
             One
             quarrelled
             at
             the
             Cross
             in
             Baptism
             ;
             a
             Second
             found
             out
             down
             right
             Conjuring
             in
             the
             Litany
             ;
             a
             third
             made
             his
             exceptions
             at
             Kneeling
             at
             the
             Sacrament
             .
             Nay
             ,
             rather
             than
             stand
             out
             ,
             some
             were
             willing
             to
             play
             at
             such
             small
             Game
             ,
             as
             to
             pick
             Faults
             with
             the
             Calendar
             ,
             and
             so
             desired
             to
             have
             St.
             George
             and
             the
             rest
             of
             his
             Dreaming
             useless
             Brethren
             turned
             out
             of
             their
             Freehold
             there
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             'T
             is
             very
             surprizing
             ,
             I
             confess
             ,
             what
             you
             have
             told
             me
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             All
             this
             while
             Comprehension
             was
             the
             word
             in
             City
             and
             Country
             .
             Comprehension
             was
             still
             the
             burden
             of
             the
             Song
             in
             Taverns
             ,
             and
             Comprehension
             fill'd
             up
             all
             the
             Idle
             ,
             Impertinent
             Conversation
             of
             the
             Coffee-Houses
             ;
             't
             was
             almost
             as
             bad
             as
             Treason
             to
             speak
             the
             least
             ill
             word
             of
             the
             Comprehension
             .
             Nay
             
             would
             you
             believe
             it
             ?
             the
             very
             Butchers
             on
             the
             other
             side
             Aldgate
             had
             got
             the
             word
             amongst
             them
             ,
             and
             made
             excellent
             sport
             with
             it
             ;
             if
             they
             happen'd
             to
             meet
             with
             a
             furly
             ,
             morose
             ,
             ill-bred
             sort
             of
             an
             Ox
             ,
             that
             was
             not
             over-forward
             to
             have
             any
             Alterations
             made
             in
             his
             Body
             ,
             or
             to
             let
             a
             Reforming
             Knife
             strip
             him
             of
             his
             Ceremonious
             Hide
             ,
             knock
             him
             down
             ,
             Cryed
             the
             whole
             Fraternity
             of
             'em
             ,
             dash
             out
             his
             Brains
             ,
             cut
             his
             Throat
             there
             ;
             't
             is
             a
             Prelatical
             Ox
             ,
             he
             won't
             suffer
             himself
             to
             be
             comprehended
             in
             a
             Halter
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             If
             I
             were
             not
             a
             Ghost
             now
             ,
             in
             spight
             of
             my
             gravity
             ,
             and
             the
             severity
             of
             my
             temper
             ,
             I
             could
             half
             kill
             my self
             with
             Laughing
             at
             these
             Stories
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             remember
             I
             was
             once
             at
             a
             Merry
             Meeting
             at
             White-Chappel
             ,
             where
             you
             are
             to
             know
             this
             same
             business
             of
             the
             Comprehension
             very
             was
             zealously
             set
             on
             foot
             ;
             and
             the
             Master
             of
             the
             House
             who
             gave
             us
             the
             entertainment
             ,
             represented
             the
             whole
             Mystery
             of
             the
             Comprehension
             in
             a
             Bowl
             of
             Punch
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             have
             frequently
             conversed
             with
             some
             Dutch
             Divines
             in
             the
             other
             World
             ,
             who
             were
             often
             talking
             of
             the
             great
             Virtues
             of
             Punch
             ,
             and
             so
             I
             am
             not
             altogether
             〈…〉
             to
             the
             Composition
             of
             that
             Liquor
             :
             But
             pray
             inform
             me
             how
             't
             was
             possible
             to
             represent
             the
             Comprehension
             in
             it
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Listen
             then
             .
             Says
             our
             Friend
             ,
             Come
             Gentlemen
             ,
             you
             know
             I
             promis'd
             you
             a
             bowl
             of
             Punch
             which
             that
             I
             may
             make
             
               Secundum
               Artem
            
             ,
             as
             our
             Doctor
             has
             it
             ,
             and
             that
             you
             who
             are
             my
             Acquaintance
             ,
             may
             be
             likewise
             〈◊〉
             to
             do
             the
             same
             at
             any
             other
             time
             ,
             pray
             take
             notice
             of
             the
             following
             Prescriptions
             ▪
             〈◊〉
             ,
             Here
             is
             a
             Gallon
             of
             poor
             Passive
             Church
             of
             England
             Water
             ,
             a
             〈…〉
             ,
             unedifying
             Element
             ,
             the
             Lord
             knows
             ,
             and
             good
             for
             nothing
             of
             itself
             ,
             till
             there
             's
             an
             Union
             o●
             Alliance
             made
             between
             it
             ,
             and
             some
             other
             noble
             dissenting
             Ingredients
             .
             Into
             this
             ,
             do
             ye
             mind
             me
             Gentlememen
             ,
             I
             pour
             one
             Half
             Pint
             of
             good
             ,
             sharp
             ,
             Independent
             Lime
             Juice
             ;
             and
             afterwards
             add
             one
             Pound
             of
             Superfine
             Addressing
             Pensilvanian
             Sugar
             .
             Now
             ,
             says
             he
             ,
             lend
             me
             the
             Sieve
             of
             Election
             ,
             and
             the
             Ladle
             of
             Accommodation
             ,
             and
             you
             shall
             see
             what
             a
             Noble
             Sherbet
             I
             have
             made
             you
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             There
             's
             more
             〈◊〉
             and
             〈◊〉
             I
             perceive
             ,
             to
             build
             one
             of
             these
             Bowls
             〈…〉
             it
             ,
             than
             a
             Man
             would
             at
             first
             imagine
             :
             I
             find
             he
             must
             be
             a
             Master
             of
             his
             Trade
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             A
             Pox
             on
             't
             ,
             crys
             our
             Friend
             ,
             this
             Foolish
             ,
             Insignificant
             Church
             of
             England
             Water
             is
             too
             strong
             as
             yet
             for
             the
             Independent
             Lime-Juice
             ,
             and
             the
             Pensylvanian
             Sugar
             ;
             and
             therefore
             to
             correct
             ,
             or
             rather
             to
             destroy
             the
             unpalatable
             relish
             of
             it
             for
             all
             intents
             and
             purposes
             ;
             I
             must
             ,
             says
             he
             ,
             according
             to
             our
             Learned
             Doctor
             's
             Method
             ,
             pour
             in
             Two
             Quarts
             of
             Lusty
             and
             Potent
             Presbyterian
             Brandy
             .
             Now
             give
             me
             ,
             continues
             he
             ,
             yonder
             well-grown
             Anabaptist
             Tost
             ,
             a
             Tost
             of
             Years
             and
             Discretion
             ,
             a
             Tost
             that
             can
             answer
             for
             himself
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             .
             But
             first
             of
             all
             ,
             let
             us
             gently
             rub
             him
             over
             with
             the
             Nutmeg
             of
             Affability
             ,
             and
             then
             dip
             him
             over
             Head
             and
             Ears
             in
             this
             Regenerating
             Liquor
             :
             'T
             is
             done
             Gentlemen
             ,
             the
             Town
             's
             our
             own
             ;
             but
             Lord
             (
             crys
             he
             )
             how
             it
             rejoyces
             my
             Heart
             to
             see
             how
             this
             Powerful
             Presbyterian
             Brandy
             Insults
             and
             Rides
             upon
             the
             poor
             Passive
             Hierarchical
             Water
             !
             Pray
             Gentlemen
             ,
             come
             and
             see
             this
             goodly
             Sight
             ,
             quickly
             ,
             quickly
             ,
             here
             ;
             so
             we
             all
             peep'd
             into
             the
             Bowl
             ,
             and
             Laugh'd
             till
             we
             were
             ready
             to
             burst
             our
             Hoops
             asunder
             with
             the
             Conceit
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             I
             cannot
             discommend
             you
             for
             it
             ;
             't
             was
             a
             Scene
             of
             Mirth
             enough
             to
             divert
             the
             most
             heavy
             Phlegmatick
             Creature
             in
             the
             World.
             
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             a
             certain
             Spark
             in
             the
             Room
             very
             well
             observed
             ,
             we
             only
             wanted
             a
             Consort
             of
             the
             sweet
             Singers
             of
             Israel
             ,
             to
             have
             sung
             some
             Spiritual
             Latitudinarian
             Hymn
             or
             other
             ,
             to
             the
             Tune
             
               of
               the
               Gods
               and
               the
               Goddesses
               ,
            
             and
             our
             Entertainment
             had
             been
             Compleat
             ;
             but
             we
             supplied
             that
             defect
             in
             a
             manner
             by
             the
             choiceness
             of
             our
             Healths
             ;
             for
             first
             we
             drank
             a
             good
             Health
             to
             the
             Scotch
             Covenant
             ;
             then
             we
             remembred
             our
             Friends
             of
             Amsterdam
             ,
             and
             all
             our
             Trusty
             Fellow-Labourers
             near
             the
             Lake
             Lemane
             .
             After
             this
             we
             made
             a
             step
             to
             the
             other
             side
             of
             the
             Globe
             ,
             and
             there
             visited
             the
             poor
             Churches
             in
             
               New
               England
            
             .
             Lastly
             ,
             we
             concluded
             all
             with
             Health
             ,
             Wealth
             and
             Prosperity
             to
             all
             the
             Sons
             of
             Comprehension
             ,
             and
             all
             the
             Daughters
             of
             Latitude
             in
             Christendom
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Well
             ,
             but
             I
             forgot
             to
             enquire
             of
             you
             ,
             whether
             the
             Dissenting
             Party
             gave
             any
             great
             encouragement
             to
             this
             Project
             of
             the
             Comprehension
             ;
             for
             unless
             they
             promised
             to
             come
             in
             ,
             as
             soon
             as
             these
             Alterations
             were
             made
             ;
             to
             what
             purpose
             was
             all
             this
             trouble
             taken
             ?
             They
             could
             not
             be
             so
             vain
             as
             to
             imagine
             
             that
             this
             conduct
             would
             be
             very
             acceptable
             to
             their
             own
             side
             ,
             and
             therefore
             unless
             they
             had
             moral
             Assurances
             of
             bringing
             over
             the
             Dissenters
             ,
             I
             think
             they
             reckon'd
             all
             this
             while
             without
             their
             Host
             ,
             not
             to
             take
             notice
             that
             they
             made
             themselves
             cheap
             and
             contemptible
             into
             the
             bargain
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             What
             some
             few
             of
             the
             topping
             Leaders
             amongst
             the
             Dissenters
             might
             promise
             to
             do
             ,
             in
             case
             such
             Alterations
             were
             consented
             to
             ,
             I
             cannot
             resolve
             you
             ;
             but
             as
             for
             the
             generality
             both
             of
             the
             Pastors
             and
             the
             People
             ,
             I
             don't
             believe
             they
             would
             have
             budged
             a
             foot
             for
             the
             matter
             .
             Perhaps
             to
             two
             or
             three
             of
             their
             chief
             Levites
             ,
             a
             Bishoprick
             of
             Two
             Thousand
             Pounds
             
               per
               Annum
            
             ,
             with
             a
             very
             few
             Amendments
             ,
             might
             have
             become
             palatable
             enough
             ;
             but
             as
             then
             such
             choice
             Blessings
             could
             not
             be
             distributed
             to
             all
             ,
             and
             besides
             were
             few
             in
             number
             in
             comparison
             of
             more
             inconsiderable
             Places
             ;
             so
             there
             's
             all
             the
             reason
             in
             the
             World
             to
             conclude
             ,
             that
             but
             very
             few
             would
             have
             quitted
             their
             Station
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             am
             clearly
             of
             your
             opinion
             ;
             for
             Interest
             you
             know
             is
             the
             great
             business
             of
             all
             Mankind
             .
             The
             Fanatick
             Divines
             for
             their
             part
             follow
             their
             own
             Interest
             with
             as
             zealous
             an
             Application
             as
             any
             other
             Persons
             ;
             and
             I
             am
             assured
             ,
             that
             if
             they
             found
             no
             advantage
             in
             the
             Comprehension
             ,
             they
             would
             never
             comply
             with
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             'T
             is
             very
             apparent
             that
             their
             Interest
             advised
             them
             to
             continue
             where
             they
             were
             ;
             and
             I
             wonder
             why
             the
             other
             Party
             were
             such
             Blockheads
             ,
             as
             to
             believe
             that
             they
             should
             be
             ever
             prevailed
             upon
             to
             sacrifice
             their
             old
             beloved
             Principle
             ;
             't
             was
             endeavouring
             to
             Hedge
             the
             Cuckoe
             ,
             even
             according
             to
             the
             Letter
             .
             Can
             you
             Mr.
             Pryn
             believe
             ,
             that
             a
             Man
             of
             any
             tolerable
             discretion
             would
             ever
             leave
             his
             Congregation
             ,
             where
             he
             reigns
             as
             absolute
             as
             the
             Mufti
             does
             at
             Constantinople
             ;
             where
             he
             Hangs
             ,
             Draws
             and
             Quarters
             as
             he
             thinks
             convenient
             ;
             where
             he
             commands
             the
             People's
             Consciences
             ,
             and
             consequently
             their
             Purses
             ;
             where
             he
             can
             melt
             them
             into
             Tears
             as
             often
             as
             he
             pleases
             ;
             where
             he
             's
             caressed
             and
             treated
             every
             day
             with
             as
             much
             Ceremony
             ,
             as
             a
             young
             Heir
             is
             at
             the
             first
             Moment
             when
             he
             comes
             to
             his
             Estate
             :
             Can
             you
             believe
             ,
             I
             say
             ,
             that
             he
             would
             quit
             all
             these
             mighty
             advantages
             ,
             to
             come
             to
             a
             Church
             where
             he
             is
             not
             secure
             of
             meeting
             half
             this
             Respect
             and
             Veneration
             ;
             where
             his
             
             tall
             Metaphors
             and
             impertinent
             Harangues
             will
             make
             no
             impression
             ;
             where
             his
             Theatrical
             Grimaces
             will
             be
             all
             exploded
             ;
             where
             he
             must
             renounce
             his
             extempore
             Talent
             ,
             and
             put
             himself
             to
             the
             severe
             expence
             of
             talking
             intelligibly
             ,
             unless
             there
             were
             a
             certain
             prospect
             of
             a
             larger
             Revenue
             to
             make
             him
             swallow
             all
             these
             mortifying
             Considerations
             ?
             No
             ,
             no
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             the
             dissenting
             Ministers
             are
             Masters
             of
             more
             Discretion
             than
             for
             the
             sake
             of
             a
             foolish
             Complement
             or
             two
             to
             relinquish
             their
             real
             Interest
             ,
             and
             quit
             so
             advantageous
             a
             Post
             as
             they
             are
             already
             placed
             in
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             What
             you
             have
             observed
             of
             their
             Divines
             ,
             may
             I
             suppose
             be
             as
             reasonably
             concluded
             of
             the
             Laity
             .
             As
             matters
             were
             ordered
             in
             my
             time
             ,
             and
             I
             believe
             they
             are
             not
             alter'd
             since
             ,
             the
             Merits
             of
             the
             Separation
             were
             but
             very
             superficially
             examin'd
             by
             the
             People
             ;
             for
             most
             of
             'em
             considered
             that
             being
             of
             that
             party
             help'd
             'em
             to
             a
             good
             Trade
             ,
             and
             what
             was
             more
             tempting
             helped
             'em
             to
             the
             reputation
             of
             Sanctity
             ,
             with
             certain
             hopes
             of
             a
             Saintship
             into
             the
             bargain
             ,
             and
             so
             what
             wonder
             is
             it
             ,
             if
             they
             continued
             firm
             to
             the
             Interests
             of
             that
             Church
             ,
             where
             there
             was
             a
             good
             Trade
             ,
             and
             a
             good
             Reputation
             ,
             and
             a
             good
             Saintship
             besides
             to
             be
             had
             at
             such
             reasonable
             pennyworths
             ?
             Besides
             there
             's
             a
             certain
             sort
             of
             a
             titillation
             ,
             which
             only
             those
             who
             have
             experimented
             it
             can
             describe
             ,
             in
             refusing
             to
             submit
             to
             whatsoever
             is
             publickly
             established
             .
             Men
             love
             to
             indulge
             their
             own
             humors
             ,
             and
             can't
             indure
             to
             have
             the
             Government
             prescribe
             any
             rules
             to
             '
             em
             .
             In
             fine
             ,
             't
             is
             the
             only
             sign
             of
             Discretion
             and
             a
             mature
             Judgment
             with
             some
             persons
             to
             dissent
             from
             all
             Mankind
             ,
             and
             carve
             for
             themselves
             .
             I
             had
             almost
             like
             to
             have
             forgot
             that
             when
             we
             meet
             in
             corners
             to
             worship
             ,
             it
             looks
             as
             if
             we
             were
             the
             little
             Flock
             of
             the
             Elect
             that
             the
             heat
             of
             Persecution
             had
             driven
             into
             those
             retreats
             ;
             but
             then
             all
             this
             mighty
             Zeal
             and
             Devotion
             that
             is
             kept
             alive
             by
             sweating
             and
             crowding
             ,
             and
             being
             everlastingly
             bored
             by
             our
             Neighbour's
             Elbows
             ,
             would
             certainly
             evaporate
             and
             expire
             in
             a
             large
             Church
             .
             So
             upon
             the
             whole
             matter
             I
             find
             no
             ground
             to
             believe
             that
             the
             People
             wou'd
             ever
             have
             been
             inclined
             to
             leave
             their
             old
             way
             of
             Worship
             ,
             in
             case
             their
             Ministers
             had
             forsaken
             them
             ,
             and
             therefore
             't
             is
             I
             confess
             a
             surprizing
             thing
             to
             me
             that
             the
             Church
             of
             England
             should
             ever
             attempt
             to
             new
             model
             their
             Constitution
             ,
             
             when
             they
             could
             propose
             so
             little
             benefit
             to
             themselves
             from
             doing
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             They
             expected
             ,
             you
             must
             understand
             ,
             to
             have
             proselyted
             the
             whole
             body
             of
             Dissenters
             ,
             tho'
             you
             and
             I
             have
             sufficiently
             observed
             what
             an
             unpracticable
             ill
             grounded
             Chymaera
             it
             was
             ,
             and
             it
             would
             appear
             a
             thousand
             times
             more
             impossible
             to
             be
             effected
             ,
             if
             we
             should
             take
             a
             full
             view
             of
             the
             other
             Separatists
             ,
             as
             Quakers
             ,
             Independents
             ,
             Anabaptists
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             ,
             whereas
             we
             have
             only
             been
             talking
             about
             the
             Presbyterians
             .
             But
             however
             impracticable
             the
             design
             be
             ,
             yet
             those
             persons
             who
             were
             engaged
             in
             the
             Affair
             ,
             either
             believed
             it
             to
             be
             very
             feasible
             ,
             or
             else
             they
             would
             have
             persuaded
             the
             World
             that
             they
             thought
             it
             so
             .
             For
             in
             order
             to
             receive
             this
             vast
             number
             of
             People
             they
             expected
             ,
             they
             were
             contriving
             how
             to
             enlarge
             the
             Church-Porches
             before-hand
             ;
             by
             the
             same
             token
             that
             I
             cou'd
             never
             hear
             any
             mention
             made
             of
             that
             Project
             ,
             but
             it
             immediately
             put
             me
             in
             mind
             of
             a
             certain
             remarkable
             saying
             of
             Diogenes
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             What
             was
             that
             I
             pray
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             the
             story
             goes
             ,
             that
             itinerant
             Phylosopher
             came
             by
             chance
             to
             a
             damned
             little
             raskally
             Town
             in
             Rhodes
             with
             a
             huge
             swinging
             pair
             of
             Gates
             to
             it
             ,
             so
             he
             ran
             to
             the
             Market
             place
             ,
             and
             cries
             as
             loud
             as
             ever
             he
             was
             able
             :
             
               Good
               People
               lock
               up
               your
               Gates
               ,
               shut
               'em
               I
               say
               immediately
               ,
               for
               fear
               your
               Town
               should
               take
               a
               frolick
               and
               run
               out
               of
               them
               .
            
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             So
             you
             imagined
             then
             that
             if
             the
             Church-Porches
             had
             been
             widen'd
             ,
             the
             Congregation
             wou'd
             have
             presently
             run
             out
             at
             the
             Doors
             ,
             did
             you
             not
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Why
             truly
             Mr.
             Pryn
             I
             did
             ,
             and
             I
             don't
             question
             but
             that
             if
             the
             Comprehension
             had
             succeeded
             ,
             I
             had
             been
             found
             a
             true
             Prophet
             as
             to
             this
             particular
             .
             Tho'
             I
             wish
             the
             design
             had
             taken
             effect
             ,
             because
             I
             pray
             for
             the
             Church's
             Destruction
             ,
             and
             don
             't
             know
             any
             way
             so
             effectual
             ▪
             to
             have
             produced
             it
             as
             what
             I
             am
             discoursing
             of
             ,
             yet
             I
             cannot
             forbear
             to
             rail
             at
             the
             Blindness
             and
             Indiscretion
             of
             those
             People
             who
             laboured
             so
             mightily
             to
             bring
             an
             unavoidable
             Ruin
             and
             Scandal
             upon
             themselves
             .
             To
             quit
             a
             firm
             establishment
             and
             throw
             up
             the
             Fences
             of
             a
             well
             compacted
             Discipline
             ,
             in
             order
             to
             get
             a
             little
             fulsome
             popular
             Applause
             for
             a
             moment
             ,
             and
             oblige
             some
             of
             
               Iohannes
               
               de
               Nubibus
            
             's
             wise
             Relations
             ,
             was
             in
             my
             opinion
             as
             gross
             a
             piece
             of
             Stupidity
             ,
             as
             it
             wou'd
             have
             been
             in
             Sampson
             ,
             if
             he
             were
             now
             alive
             ,
             to
             cut
             off
             his
             Hair
             wherein
             his
             Strength
             depended
             ,
             and
             for
             no
             other
             design
             than
             to
             wear
             a
             Perruque
             ,
             and
             qualify
             himself
             for
             keeping
             company
             with
             the
             Beaux
             of
             Covent-Garden
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             So
             it
             was
             ;
             but
             how
             came
             the
             business
             to
             miscarry
             at
             last
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Tho'
             we
             had
             several
             persons
             of
             great
             Interest
             and
             Authority
             that
             joyn'd
             with
             us
             ,
             and
             besides
             the
             late
             turn
             of
             Affairs
             seem'd
             very
             favourable
             to
             put
             this
             design
             in
             excution
             ,
             yet
             the
             major
             part
             were
             of
             a
             different
             opinion
             .
             They
             pretended
             ,
             that
             it
             was
             below
             the
             Dignity
             of
             the
             Church
             to
             alter
             Establishments
             for
             the
             sake
             of
             those
             People
             ,
             who
             had
             taken
             care
             to
             give
             the
             World
             invincible
             assurances
             of
             their
             being
             contented
             with
             nothing
             but
             a
             throwing
             up
             of
             the
             whole
             .
             That
             a
             Faction
             within
             the
             Church
             (
             which
             they
             apprehended
             might
             arise
             in
             case
             the
             Comprehension
             succeeded
             )
             was
             infinitely
             more
             dangerous
             than
             the
             Schism
             without
             .
             That
             if
             some
             Concessions
             were
             made
             in
             favour
             of
             one
             Party
             ,
             as
             soon
             as
             that
             was
             done
             ,
             another
             Party
             might
             demand
             to
             have
             the
             like
             Indulgence
             shewn
             to
             them
             ,
             and
             perhaps
             with
             as
             much
             reason
             ,
             or
             at
             least
             with
             as
             much
             pretence
             .
             In
             fine
             ,
             that
             those
             Alterations
             might
             have
             very
             ill
             Effects
             with
             the
             Members
             of
             their
             own
             Communion
             ,
             and
             oblige
             them
             to
             seek
             that
             Steadiness
             and
             Constancy
             in
             another
             Church
             ,
             which
             they
             cou'd
             not
             find
             at
             home
             .
             Thus
             our
             Plea
             was
             over-ruled
             at
             last
             ,
             and
             that
             hopeful
             project
             which
             had
             employed
             so
             many
             sucking
             ,
             Sermon-printing
             Authors
             to
             recommend
             it
             to
             the
             World
             ,
             came
             unfortunately
             to
             nothing
             ,
             to
             the
             great
             mortification
             and
             disappointment
             of
             several
             persons
             who
             had
             amused
             themselves
             with
             no
             ordinary
             expectations
             for
             their
             good
             Services
             in
             promoting
             it
             .
             But
             Sir
             ,
             if
             you
             please
             ,
             we
             'll
             wave
             this
             Subject
             ,
             which
             gives
             me
             abandance
             of
             uneasie
             Thoughts
             as
             often
             as
             I
             reflect
             upon
             it
             .
             —
             And
             now
             honest
             Mr.
             Pryn
             let
             me
             desire
             you
             to
             inform
             me
             ,
             what
             weighty
             Concern
             it
             is
             ,
             that
             has
             drawn
             you
             from
             the
             peaceful
             Mansions
             of
             the
             Dead
             to
             revisit
             the
             World
             ,
             was
             it
             only
             to
             indulge
             your
             Curiosity
             ,
             or
             is
             there
             a
             private
             Intreague
             at
             the
             bottom
             ?
          
        
         
           
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nothing
             of
             that
             nature
             upon
             my
             word
             .
             I
             was
             desirous
             to
             know
             whether
             Prelacy
             was
             abolished
             ,
             and
             consequently
             the
             whole
             Train
             of
             Superstition
             banished
             and
             discarded
             ;
             how
             Affairs
             stood
             with
             the
             sober
             godly
             part
             of
             the
             Nation
             ;
             and
             lastly
             ,
             what
             were
             the
             crying
             prevailing
             Sins
             of
             the
             Age.
             This
             was
             the
             true
             and
             only
             occasion
             of
             my
             journey
             ,
             and
             I
             need
             not
             tell
             you
             ,
             how
             far
             you
             wou'd
             oblige
             me
             by
             giving
             me
             a
             full
             account
             of
             all
             these
             matters
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Alas
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             your
             are
             come
             in
             a
             very
             unlucky
             moment
             !
             I
             am
             sorry
             that
             I
             have
             nothing
             of
             Consolation
             to
             entertain
             you
             with
             .
             Prelacy
             was
             never
             the
             darling
             of
             the
             People
             so
             much
             as
             at
             present
             ;
             it
             is
             too
             far
             own'd
             and
             supported
             by
             the
             Government
             to
             be
             ever
             undermin'd
             or
             ruined
             .
             Nay
             what
             is
             the
             most
             miserable
             case
             of
             all
             ,
             it
             has
             so
             conspicuously
             deserved
             of
             the
             Protestant
             Interest
             in
             general
             ,
             as
             well
             as
             of
             the
             particular
             Liberty
             and
             Property
             of
             the
             Subject
             ,
             that
             we
             cannot
             attacque
             it
             with
             the
             least
             colourable
             Reproach
             or
             Calumny
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             How
             !
             And
             is
             it
             impossible
             then
             to
             trump
             the
             old
             Card
             of
             Popery
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             ,
             upon
             them
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Why
             ,
             truly
             Mr.
             Pryn
             't
             is
             even
             so
             .
             We
             must
             take
             our
             everlasting
             farewel
             of
             that
             Argument
             ,
             it
             will
             do
             us
             no
             farther
             service
             I
             can
             assure
             you
             .
             It
             has
             been
             the
             perpetual
             cry
             of
             the
             Saints
             ,
             you
             know
             ,
             ever
             since
             the
             beginning
             ,
             that
             when
             ever
             a
             favourable
             opportunity
             shew'd
             it self
             ,
             the
             Prelates
             and
             all
             that
             Party
             wou'd
             immediately
             list
             themselves
             in
             the
             Service
             of
             the
             Man
             of
             Sin.
             
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             remember
             it
             very
             well
             ,
             by
             the
             same
             token
             ,
             that
             this
             aspersion
             did
             our
             Cause
             no
             inconsiderable
             service
             in
             the
             late
             Wars
             ,
             when
             we
             traduced
             'em
             all
             for
             being
             Babylonishly
             affected
             ;
             by
             Vertue
             of
             which
             Scandal
             we
             made
             a
             shift
             to
             get
             an
             Archbishop
             sacrificed
             on
             Tower-Hill
             ,
             and
             the
             whole
             Fraternity
             totally
             extirpated
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             What
             you
             say
             is
             indeed
             very
             true
             .
             But
             alas
             !
             I
             cannot
             think
             upon
             it
             without
             considering
             at
             the
             same
             time
             how
             unfortunate
             we
             their
             Posterity
             are
             ,
             who
             cannot
             presume
             to
             perform
             such
             glorious
             Exploits
             .
             The
             only
             thing
             we
             can
             do
             ,
             is
             to
             make
             a
             little
             Clamor
             about
             Prelatical
             Persecution
             ;
             but
             even
             this
             pretence
             vanishes
             and
             makes
             no
             impression
             ,
             as
             soon
             as
             People
             reflect
             upon
             the
             Rigor
             and
             iron
             Yoke
             of
             Presbytery
             ,
             when
             
             by
             the
             Pious
             Efforts
             of
             the
             Parliament
             in
             Forty
             Three
             ,
             it
             was
             advanced
             to
             the
             Chair
             .
             But
             as
             I
             hinted
             to
             you
             before
             ,
             we
             must
             take
             our
             everlasting
             Farewel
             of
             our
             old
             dearly
             beloved
             Topick
             of
             Popery
             ,
             for
             we
             cannot
             mention
             it
             without
             reproaching
             our selves
             to
             the
             highest
             degree
             ,
             and
             doing
             them
             the
             greatest
             Honour
             in
             the
             World.
             
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Though
             I
             must
             confess
             I
             have
             an
             incurable
             hatred
             to
             Episcopacy
             ,
             as
             I
             believe
             all
             Persons
             have
             that
             are
             deeply
             tinctured
             with
             my
             Principles
             ,
             yet
             I
             cannot
             forbear
             to
             acquaint
             you
             ,
             that
             if
             what
             you
             say
             is
             really
             true
             ,
             it
             would
             oblige
             me
             to
             abate
             a
             great
             deal
             of
             my
             old
             Severity
             and
             Prejudices
             against
             them
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             The
             late
             King
             you
             must
             understand
             was
             a
             zealous
             Bigot
             for
             the
             Popish
             Religion
             ,
             and
             endeavour'd
             by
             all
             the
             ways
             in
             the
             World
             to
             introduce
             it
             into
             the
             Kingdom
             ;
             and
             as
             this
             Design
             was
             not
             to
             be
             executed
             ,
             considering
             the
             posture
             of
             Affairs
             at
             that
             time
             ,
             without
             making
             use
             of
             an
             unlimited
             Arbitrary
             Power
             ,
             and
             carrying
             the
             Prerogative
             to
             greater
             heights
             than
             any
             of
             his
             Predecessors
             had
             done
             ;
             so
             the
             only
             Obstacle
             he
             met
             with
             ,
             both
             in
             regard
             to
             Popery
             and
             the
             Dispensing
             Power
             ,
             was
             from
             the
             Established
             Church
             .
             Not
             a
             single
             Pamphlet
             appeared
             ,
             either
             from
             the
             Savoy
             or
             St.
             Iames's
             ,
             but
             immediately
             all
             its
             little
             Artifices
             were
             laid
             open
             ,
             and
             all
             the
             Arguments
             answered
             with
             that
             perspicuity
             of
             Thought
             ,
             that
             beauty
             of
             Language
             ,
             that
             variety
             of
             Learning
             ,
             and
             above
             all
             ,
             that
             respect
             to
             the
             Sovereign
             then
             in
             being
             ,
             that
             I
             ,
             even
             I
             ,
             who
             am
             a
             Professed
             Enemy
             to
             the
             whole
             Tribe
             ,
             and
             hate
             them
             as
             heartily
             as
             the
             Apothecaries
             hate
             the
             Chirurgeons
             that
             intrench
             upon
             their
             Trade
             ;
             yet
             cannot
             forbear
             to
             do
             them
             this
             undeniable
             piece
             of
             Justice
             .
             Nay
             would
             you
             believe
             it
             ?
             Seven
             of
             the
             Prelates
             chose
             a
             voluntary
             Imprisonment
             ,
             rather
             than
             contribute
             the
             least
             either
             to
             the
             introducing
             of
             Popery
             ,
             or
             the
             Slavery
             of
             their
             Country
             ;
             so
             that
             that
             Religion
             had
             in
             a
             manner
             abdicated
             a
             long
             time
             before
             its
             Monarch
             .
             All
             this
             while
             the
             Dissenters
             —
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             —
             Ay
             ,
             what
             did
             they
             do
             ?
             for
             you
             know
             they
             use
             to
             smell
             Popery
             at
             as
             great
             a
             distance
             as
             —
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             they
             say
             a
             certain
             Peer's
             Horse
             can
             smell
             Fire
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             And
             besides
             hate
             Popery
             and
             all
             its
             wicked
             Works
             as
             mortally
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             an
             itinerant
             begging
             Levite
             does
             Pluralities
             ,
             or
             a
             Griping
             old
             Cit
             does
             a
             Lecture
             against
             Oppression
             .
             Why
             all
             this
             while
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn.
             the
             Dissenters
             sate
             as
             mute
             as
             a
             new
             Sea-Chaplain
             in
             an
             Engagement
             ;
             and
             notwithstanding
             there
             were
             every
             day
             fresh
             advances
             made
             in
             behalf
             of
             the
             Romish
             Religion
             ,
             yet
             they
             seemed
             to
             apprehend
             the
             danger
             of
             Popery
             no
             more
             ,
             than
             Noah
             and
             his
             Family
             did
             the
             Conflagration
             ,
             when
             they
             were
             stow'd
             up
             in
             the
             Ark.
             
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             have
             certainly
             a
             Design
             to
             amuse
             me
             with
             Impossibilities
             ,
             for
             in
             my
             time
             I
             am
             sure
             the
             Dissenters
             were
             another
             sort
             of
             Men
             ;
             rather
             than
             not
             find
             Popery
             some
             where
             or
             another
             ,
             they
             could
             then
             find
             it
             out
             in
             
             Christmas-Pies
             and
             Plum-Porridge
             ;
             and
             rather
             than
             not
             quarrel
             with
             Idolatry
             ,
             they
             could
             then
             quarrel
             with
             the
             Will-worship
             of
             May-poles
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Upon
             my
             word
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             't
             is
             every
             Syllable
             true
             what
             I
             have
             told
             you
             ;
             you
             need
             not
             entertain
             any
             such
             ill-grounded
             a
             suspicion
             of
             me
             ,
             as
             to
             imagine
             that
             I
             would
             slander
             them
             in
             the
             least
             .
             To
             reassume
             my
             Discourse
             ,
             I
             don't
             know
             of
             one
             single
             Sheet
             of
             Paper
             that
             was
             written
             either
             by
             any
             of
             their
             Divines
             ,
             or
             so
             much
             as
             a
             Lay
             Elder
             against
             the
             common
             Adversary
             ;
             nor
             did
             I
             ever
             hear
             of
             the
             least
             inclination
             they
             shew'd
             to
             oppose
             Popery
             by
             way
             of
             Discourse
             ,
             unless
             it
             were
             a
             certain
             Minister
             of
             that
             stamp
             here
             in
             Town
             ,
             who
             as
             often
             as
             he
             mentioned
             King
             Iames
             in
             his
             Prayers
             ,
             very
             honestly
             prayed
             that
             he
             might
             become
             the
             terrour
             of
             Rome
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             What
             ?
             that
             a
             Popish
             King
             might
             become
             the
             terrour
             of
             Rome
             ;
             O
             Incorrigible
             Sot
             !
             And
             why
             not
             as
             well
             that
             he
             might
             become
             the
             Scourge
             of
             Constantinople
             ?
             Nay
             why
             did
             he
             not
             carry
             his
             ridiculous
             Banter
             farther
             ,
             and
             Pray
             as
             follows
             ?
             Viz.
             May
             he
             fall
             foul
             upon
             the
             Skirts
             of
             the
             Great
             Mogul
             ,
             and
             confound
             the
             Devices
             of
             the
             Cham
             of
             Tartary
             .
             May
             the
             Bey
             of
             Algiers
             truckle
             to
             him
             ,
             and
             the
             Mad
             King
             of
             Madagascar
             be
             his
             most
             Humble
             Servant
             .
             May
             his
             West-India
             Plantations
             never
             fail
             to
             send
             his
             Subjects
             the
             best
             Tobacco
             ,
             and
             his
             East-India
             Factories
             never
             fail
             to
             send
             them
             the
             best
             Spices
             to
             put
             in
             their
             Bottled
             Ale.
             All
             this
             Stuff
             might
             have
             been
             as
             pertinently
             
             pray'd
             for
             ,
             as
             that
             a
             Popish
             King
             might
             become
             the
             Terrour
             of
             Rome
             .
             And
             was
             this
             all
             they
             did
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             You
             shall
             hear
             .
             Instead
             of
             encountering
             our
             profest
             Enemies
             ,
             who
             were
             every
             day
             gaining
             ground
             upon
             us
             ,
             the
             Dissenters
             employ'd
             themselves
             in
             nothing
             else
             but
             charging
             the
             Church
             of
             England
             with
             a
             Spirit
             of
             Persecution
             ,
             tho'
             what
             they
             suffered
             was
             ,
             between
             Friends
             I
             may
             say
             it
             ,
             rather
             upon
             the
             score
             of
             an
             open
             plain
             Conspiracy
             ,
             than
             for
             their
             Religion
             ;
             and
             besides
             ,
             was
             not
             to
             be
             named
             in
             the
             same
             Year
             with
             what
             the
             Episcopal
             Party
             had
             without
             any
             pretence
             of
             Equity
             ,
             suffer'd
             under
             their
             Dominion
             formerly
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             These
             undiscreet
             Proceedings
             gave
             admirable
             Sport
             and
             Entertainment
             to
             the
             Priests
             ,
             without
             question
             .
             But
             pray
             proceed
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Shortly
             after
             this
             ,
             the
             late
             King
             for
             Reasons
             obvious
             and
             evident
             enough
             ,
             was
             pleased
             to
             issue
             out
             a
             Free
             Toleration
             to
             all
             his
             loving
             Subjects
             of
             what
             Perswasion
             soever
             ;
             and
             tho'
             the
             Dissenters
             ,
             if
             they
             had
             had
             but
             half
             the
             Understanding
             of
             an
             Humble-Bee
             ,
             might
             have
             easily
             perceived
             the
             drift
             and
             meaning
             of
             that
             Indulgence
             ,
             yet
             they
             either
             really
             were
             ,
             or
             what
             is
             full
             as
             stupid
             ,
             pretended
             to
             be
             altogether
             insensible
             of
             the
             design
             .
             You
             cannot
             imagine
             how
             dutifully
             they
             swallow'd
             this
             Bait
             ,
             tho'
             it
             scarce
             served
             to
             cover
             the
             Hook.
             Every
             Gazette
             was
             so
             crouded
             wtth
             their
             fulsome
             Addresses
             ,
             that
             a
             Man
             ,
             unless
             he
             had
             a
             particular
             Interest
             at
             Court
             ,
             could
             scarce
             prevail
             to
             get
             a
             stray'd
             Horse
             ,
             or
             a
             deserting
             Prentice
             into
             the
             Advertisements
             .
             You
             'd
             almost
             have
             sworn
             ,
             it
             had
             rained
             Complements
             for
             a
             Twelve
             month
             together
             ,
             as
             Livy
             says
             it
             rained
             Stones
             before
             the
             Punick
             War
             ;
             and
             such
             indeed
             these
             Complements
             were
             ,
             for
             they
             proved
             as
             fatal
             at
             last
             to
             the
             deluded
             Prince
             ,
             as
             the
             Brick-bats
             did
             to
             St.
             Stephen
             .
             No
             young
             fluttering
             Coxcomb
             ever
             deified
             his
             Mistress
             after
             so
             prodigal
             a
             rate
             ,
             no
             hungry
             Poet
             ever
             squander'd
             away
             so
             much
             nauseous
             Flattery
             and
             Rhetorick
             upon
             a
             liberal
             Patron
             ,
             as
             they
             did
             upon
             the
             mistaken
             Monarch
             for
             his
             No
             gift
             of
             a
             Toleration
             .
             In
             short
             ,
             if
             they
             had
             had
             all
             Arabia
             in
             their
             hands
             ,
             it
             wou'd
             not
             have
             furnish'd
             them
             with
             Incense
             enough
             upon
             this
             occasion
             :
             by
             their
             frequent
             Correspondence
             with
             the
             other
             Party
             ,
             they
             were
             got
             too
             into
             their
             Dialect
             ,
             and
             so
             talked
             of
             nothing
             else
             but
             Oblations
             and
             Sacrifices
             .
             
             And
             what
             were
             their
             Sacrifices
             ?
             even
             those
             goodly
             Things
             called
             Lives
             and
             Fortunes
             .
             Tho'
             by
             the
             by
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             they
             sacrificed
             them
             as
             really
             ,
             and
             as
             much
             according
             to
             the
             Letter
             ,
             as
             the
             Roman
             Priests
             do
             their
             Saviour
             in
             the
             Sacrifice
             of
             the
             Mass.
             
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             have
             perfectly
             astonished
             me
             with
             your
             News
             .
             Oh
             the
             degeneracy
             of
             this
             profligate
             Age.
             Their
             Forefathers
             I
             am
             sure
             ,
             were
             Men
             of
             another
             kidney
             .
             They
             cou'd
             scarce
             be
             brought
             to
             acknowledge
             the
             Lawful
             Rights
             of
             Princes
             ;
             and
             here
             their
             graceless
             unworthy
             Sons
             pay
             a
             servile
             Adoration
             to
             a
             confess'd
             Arbitrary
             Power
             .
             —
             Well
             ,
             I
             find
             ,
             I
             must
             make
             all
             the
             hast
             I
             can
             to
             the
             other
             World
             ,
             to
             converse
             again
             with
             the
             Hero's
             of
             the
             last
             Age
             ;
             for
             I
             have
             not
             Patience
             enough
             to
             tarry
             a
             moment
             longer
             in
             this
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             nay
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             prithee
             don't
             be
             so
             eager
             .
             If
             you
             'll
             listen
             a
             while
             ,
             you
             'll
             see
             the
             Dissenters
             are
             not
             a
             Pack
             of
             such
             reprobate
             Creatures
             ,
             as
             you
             concluded
             them
             at
             first
             to
             be
             .
             The
             Saints
             you
             know
             may
             sometimes
             have
             their
             back-slidings
             ,
             and
             who
             can
             help
             it
             :
             but
             then
             the
             Saints
             by
             virtue
             of
             a
             small
             Repentance
             ,
             may
             soon
             recover
             their
             Reputation
             again
             in
             the
             World.
             To
             be
             short
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             the
             Dissenters
             as
             they
             are
             no
             Raskals
             ,
             so
             they
             are
             no
             Fools
             ;
             they
             knew
             better
             things
             ,
             than
             to
             stand
             by
             a
             Dispensing
             Monarchy
             when
             it
             came
             to
             the
             trial
             ;
             they
             believed
             ,
             and
             still
             believe
             no
             more
             of
             the
             
               Iure
               Divino
            
             of
             King-ship
             ,
             than
             they
             do
             of
             the
             
               Iure
               Divino
            
             of
             the
             Alcoran
             ;
             and
             tho'
             they
             made
             so
             many
             specious
             repeated
             Promises
             of
             sacrificing
             you
             know
             what
             ,
             yet
             to
             their
             immortal
             Honour
             be
             it
             spoken
             ,
             when
             they
             came
             to
             consider
             cooly
             and
             soberly
             of
             the
             Matter
             ,
             they
             found
             there
             was
             rank
             Popery
             in
             the
             Word
             .
             Indeed
             ,
             if
             a
             Man
             had
             not
             known
             them
             ,
             and
             their
             Principles
             somewhat
             better
             ,
             he
             might
             have
             been
             apt
             to
             think
             the
             same
             thing
             of
             them
             ,
             as
             the
             Gentleman
             did
             of
             a
             certain
             Rake-hell
             of
             a
             Levite
             ,
             whom
             he
             found
             very
             strenuously
             declaiming
             against
             Leudness
             ,
             viz.
             that
             they
             had
             been
             in
             earnest
             :
             but
             alas
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             they
             designed
             nothing
             in
             the
             World
             but
             a
             Jest
             ,
             a
             meer
             Jest
             ,
             when
             they
             made
             so
             many
             Solemn
             Vows
             of
             their
             Sincerity
             and
             Allegiance
             ;
             and
             if
             their
             Conduct
             in
             the
             late
             Reign
             was
             a
             little
             obnoxious
             to
             Censure
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             ;
             yet
             by
             their
             behaviour
             under
             this
             ,
             they
             have
             made
             a
             sufficient
             atonement
             for
             it
             .
             
             Since
             the
             late
             Revolution
             they
             have
             asserted
             the
             Deposing
             Power
             with
             as
             much
             freedom
             and
             vigour
             ,
             as
             ever
             they
             did
             between
             Forty
             One
             and
             the
             Restauration
             .
             The
             Rights
             of
             our
             Soveraign
             Lords
             The
             People
             are
             publickly
             maintained
             ;
             and
             there
             's
             ne're
             a
             Pulpit-Thrummer
             of
             that
             Character
             here
             in
             the
             Town
             ,
             but
             has
             as
             often
             told
             his
             Congregation
             ,
             That
             Kings
             are
             accountable
             to
             the
             Subject
             for
             every
             miscarriage
             :
             as
             he
             has
             whisper'd
             to
             the
             Women
             ,
             that
             unless
             they
             rifle
             their
             Husband's
             Pockets
             to
             pay
             the
             Minister
             ,
             they
             are
             to
             expect
             nothing
             but
             Fire
             and
             Brimstone
             in
             another
             World.
             
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Why
             this
             makes
             me
             some
             amends
             for
             what
             you
             told
             me
             before
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             What
             is
             more
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             all
             the
             bold
             publick
             spirited
             Pamphlets
             that
             visited
             the
             World
             in
             the
             late
             blessed
             Times
             of
             Liberty
             and
             Property
             ,
             have
             been
             lately
             Re-printed
             ,
             and
             cried
             about
             the
             Streets
             ;
             and
             Scandal
             ,
             God
             be
             thanked
             ,
             is
             as
             much
             in
             fashion
             every
             where
             ,
             as
             Flattery
             and
             Dissimulation
             at
             the
             Court
             ,
             or
             Cheating
             in
             the
             City
             ,
             as
             Whoredom
             in
             Venice
             ,
             or
             an
             Insensibility
             for
             one's
             Religion
             in
             Holland
             .
             Secret
             Histories
             are
             as
             ready
             Money
             to
             the
             godly
             Booksellers
             ,
             as
             a
             secret
             Reserve
             of
             Claret
             to
             the
             Vintner
             .
             The
             Covenant
             begins
             to
             regain
             its
             credit
             with
             the
             World
             ,
             and
             a
             Commonwealth
             ,
             or
             what
             is
             the
             same
             ,
             a
             precarious
             Monarchy
             ,
             is
             not
             talked
             of
             so
             disrespectfully
             as
             formerly
             .
             Nay
             ,
             rather
             than
             want
             Scandal
             to
             furnish
             our
             Customers
             with
             ,
             we
             have
             travelled
             as
             far
             as
             Scotland
             to
             provide
             ourselves
             of
             so
             precious
             a
             Commodity
             ,
             and
             now
             we
             have
             enough
             upon
             our
             hands
             to
             supply
             all
             the
             Markets
             in
             Christendom
             .
             Not
             to
             be
             tedious
             with
             you
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             the
             Dissenters
             are
             the
             very
             same
             Men
             as
             to
             this
             particular
             concern
             ,
             as
             ever
             they
             were
             ;
             and
             tho'
             ,
             as
             in
             Interest
             bound
             ,
             they
             pretend
             to
             have
             the
             greatest
             veneration
             imaginable
             for
             their
             present
             Majesties
             ,
             yet
             to
             keep
             them
             in
             awe
             ,
             and
             make
             them
             mindful
             of
             their
             Stewardship
             ,
             they
             treat
             their
             Royal
             Predecessors
             with
             as
             little
             Ceremony
             ,
             and
             as
             much
             Freedom
             ,
             as
             a
             Man
             would
             a
             common
             Porter
             or
             Scavenger
             in
             the
             Streets
             .
             Their
             private
             Failings
             and
             Infirmities
             have
             been
             exposed
             to
             the
             World
             as
             publickly
             as
             the
             Votes
             of
             the
             House
             ,
             and
             what
             never
             fails
             to
             be
             done
             upon
             such
             occasions
             ,
             they
             have
             lost
             nothing
             at
             all
             in
             the
             relation
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             That
             I
             believe
             .
             And
             now
             ,
             Sir
             ,
             let
             me
             tell
             you
             ,
             this
             latter
             part
             of
             your
             Discourse
             has
             as
             it
             were
             revived
             me
             ,
             if
             a
             Ghost
             may
             be
             allowed
             to
             use
             such
             an
             expression
             .
             The
             truth
             on
             't
             is
             ,
             I
             have
             in
             the
             other
             World
             heard
             most
             of
             the
             things
             you
             have
             been
             pleas'd
             to
             relate
             to
             me
             ;
             but
             then
             the
             account
             of
             Affairs
             that
             we
             have
             below
             is
             so
             very
             uncertain
             ,
             and
             withal
             reported
             so
             differently
             ,
             according
             to
             the
             particular
             genius
             and
             inclination
             of
             the
             Relator
             ,
             that
             one
             cannot
             tell
             whom
             to
             believe
             ,
             or
             what
             News
             to
             depend
             upon
             .
             This
             was
             partly
             the
             occasion
             why
             I
             impos'd
             upon
             myself
             this
             troublesome
             Journey
             ;
             and
             I
             shall
             always
             reckon
             myself
             indebted
             to
             my
             good
             Stars
             ,
             for
             giving
             me
             the
             opportunity
             to
             satisfie
             all
             my
             Doubts
             ,
             from
             the
             Conversation
             of
             so
             worthy
             a
             Person
             as
             yourself
             ,
             whose
             Sincerity
             I
             have
             no
             more
             reason
             to
             question
             ,
             than
             I
             have
             to
             deny
             the
             great
             Obligations
             of
             your
             Civility
             to
             a
             Stranger
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Oh
             fie
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             !
             I
             must
             desire
             you
             to
             forbear
             these
             Complements
             .
             I
             vow
             to
             God
             ,
             you
             'll
             make
             me
             blush
             now
             ,
             if
             you
             advance
             'em
             any
             farther
             upon
             your
             humble
             Servant
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Indeed
             I
             must
             needs
             own
             ,
             it
             rejoyces
             me
             exceedingly
             to
             hear
             that
             our
             old
             Friends
             have
             not
             apostatized
             from
             their
             Ancient
             Principles
             and
             Tenets
             about
             Government
             ;
             but
             what
             troubles
             me
             at
             the
             same
             time
             is
             ,
             that
             they
             have
             dropt
             the
             old
             Pretence
             and
             Charge
             of
             Popery
             ,
             which
             is
             to
             my
             knowledge
             ,
             the
             best
             Jewel
             they
             have
             in
             their
             Crown
             .
             Their
             Ancestors
             I
             am
             confident
             wou'd
             sooner
             have
             renounced
             their
             
               Magna
               Charta
            
             ,
             and
             Hopkins
             into
             the
             bargain
             ,
             than
             have
             parted
             with
             so
             advantageous
             ,
             and
             so
             popular
             a
             Calumny
             .
             I
             remember
             those
             blessed
             Times
             ,
             and
             the
             remembrance
             of
             'em
             is
             the
             greatest
             entertainment
             I
             have
             to
             relieve
             all
             my
             pensive
             Moments
             in
             the
             Shades
             below
             ,
             when
             every
             thing
             in
             the
             World
             that
             was
             displeasing
             and
             offensive
             to
             the
             Brethren
             ,
             went
             under
             the
             Name
             of
             horrid
             ,
             abominable
             Popish
             Superstition
             .
             Organs
             and
             Maypoles
             ,
             Bishops
             Courts
             and
             the
             Bear-Garden
             ,
             Surplices
             and
             Long
             Hair
             ,
             Cathedrals
             and
             Play-Houses
             ,
             Sett
             Forms
             and
             painted
             Glass
             ,
             Fonts
             and
             Apostles
             Spoons
             ,
             Church-Musick
             and
             Bull-baiting
             ,
             Altar-Rails
             and
             Rosemary
             on
             Brawn
             ;
             nay
             ,
             Fiddles
             ,
             Whitson-Ale
             ,
             
             Pig
             at
             
             Bartholomew-Fair
             ,
             Plum-porrige
             ,
             Puppet-shows
             ,
             Carriers
             Bells
             ,
             Figures
             in
             Gingerbread
             ,
             and
             at
             last
             Moses
             and
             Aaron
             ,
             the
             Decalogue
             ,
             the
             Creeds
             ,
             and
             the
             Lord's
             Prayer
             —
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Pass'd
             all
             for
             antichristian
             carnal
             Devices
             ,
             Rags
             of
             Popery
             ,
             Things
             of
             human
             Invention
             ,
             set
             up
             by
             the
             Man
             of
             Sin
             to
             scandalize
             the
             Saints
             ,
             and
             pervert
             the
             unstable
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             say
             right
             ;
             and
             so
             was
             every
             thing
             you
             can
             name
             ,
             except
             a
             black
             Sattin
             Cap.
             
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             it
             savoureth
             of
             Gravity
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             Sack-posset
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             For
             lo
             !
             it
             encourageth
             the
             Minister
             in
             his
             Ministry
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             Surloyn
             of
             Beef
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             the
             Saints
             are
             verily
             gross
             Feeders
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             long
             Cloak
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             ,
             like
             Charity
             ,
             it
             covereth
             a
             multitude
             of
             Sins
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             long
             Prayer
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             Widdows
             and
             Orphans
             are
             not
             palatable
             without
             '
             em
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             long
             Allegory
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             For
             behold
             it
             is
             very
             refreshing
             to
             the
             White
             Aprons
             .
             Likewise
             except
             long
             Ears
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn.
             There
             I
             think
             I
             have
             bobbed
             you
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Aside
             .
          
           
             An
             Extempore
             Sermon
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             Extempore
             Nonsence
             ,
             is
             more
             excusable
             than
             studied
             Nonsence
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             An
             Ordinance
             of
             Both
             Houses
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             a
             King
             is
             virtually
             included
             in
             them
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             A
             fat
             Capon
             and
             a
             Bag-pipe
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Because
             the
             one
             is
             a
             Geneva
             Dish
             ,
             and
             the
             other
             a
             Scotch
             Covenanting
             Instrument
             .
             Lastly
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             to
             sum
             up
             all
             the
             Evidence
             together
             ,
             because
             we
             wou'd
             not
             lose
             time
             ,
             except
             Committee-Men
             and
             Lay-Elders
             ,
             Battle
             and
             Murder
             ,
             Free
             Quarter
             and
             Famine
             ,
             Sequestrations
             and
             Decimations
             ,
             Compositions
             and
             Monthly
             Excise
             :
             And
             all
             this
             was
             but
             necessary
             and
             requisite
             ,
             in
             order
             to
             humble
             the
             Prophane
             ,
             to
             mortifie
             the
             Ungodly
             ,
             and
             pull
             down
             the
             Pride
             of
             the
             wicked
             Malignants
             ,
             that
             so
             being
             sequestred
             from
             the
             Vanities
             of
             this
             
             World
             ,
             they
             might
             have
             nothing
             else
             to
             mind
             ,
             but
             how
             to
             lick
             themselves
             whole
             in
             another
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Then
             my
             dear
             Friend
             ,
             we
             carried
             on
             the
             blessed
             Work
             of
             the
             Reformation
             ,
             as
             far
             as
             Zeal
             inspired
             with
             Interest
             cou'd
             carry
             it
             .
             We
             reformed
             the
             Almanacks
             ,
             new
             Christen'd
             the
             Festivals
             ,
             Unsainted
             the
             Apostles
             ,
             set
             the
             Chimes
             to
             Psalm-Tunes
             ,
             and
             gutted
             the
             Bible
             of
             the
             Service-Book
             and
             Apocrypha
             .
             A
             Crown
             ,
             a
             Cross
             ,
             an
             Angel
             and
             Bishop's
             Head
             cou'd
             not
             be
             endured
             ,
             so
             much
             as
             in
             a
             Sign
             .
             Our
             Garters
             ,
             Bellows
             ,
             and
             Warming-Pans
             wore
             godly
             Motto's
             ,
             our
             Band-boxes
             were
             lined
             with
             wholesome
             Instructions
             ,
             and
             even
             our
             Trunks
             with
             the
             Assembly-mens
             Sayings
             .
             Ribbons
             were
             converted
             to
             Bible-strings
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             And
             so
             were
             Graces
             to
             Long-Prayers
             ,
             and
             Churches
             to
             Stables
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             in
             our
             Zeal
             we
             visited
             the
             Gardens
             and
             Apothecaries
             Shops
             .
             So
             
               Unguentum
               Apostolicum
            
             was
             commanded
             to
             take
             a
             new
             Name
             ,
             and
             besides
             ,
             to
             find
             Security
             for
             its
             good
             behaviour
             for
             the
             future
             .
             
               Carduus
               Benedictus
               ,
               Angelica
               ,
               St.
               Iohn's-wort
               ,
            
             and
             our
             Ladies
             Thistle
             were
             summoned
             before
             a
             Class
             ,
             and
             forthwith
             ordered
             to
             distinguish
             themselves
             by
             more
             sanctified
             Appellations
             .
             Thus
             by
             the
             plausible
             appearance
             of
             our
             great
             Piety
             ,
             and
             our
             zealous
             Performances
             in
             rooting
             out
             Popery
             and
             Superstition
             ,
             we
             got
             an
             absolute
             ascendant
             over
             the
             Hearts
             of
             the
             People
             ,
             and
             managed
             them
             just
             as
             we
             pleased
             .
             But
             alas
             ,
             these
             Golden
             Times
             are
             clearly
             gone
             ,
             and
             I
             am
             afraid
             we
             are
             to
             expect
             'em
             no
             more
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             told
             you
             before
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             't
             is
             to
             no
             purpose
             to
             charge
             the
             Church
             of
             England
             with
             any
             more
             Popery
             .
             What
             they
             did
             in
             the
             late
             Reign
             has
             made
             such
             an
             effectual
             impression
             upon
             every
             body
             ,
             that
             so
             ridiculous
             a
             Calumny
             is
             never
             to
             be
             used
             ,
             at
             least
             as
             long
             as
             this
             Generation
             is
             alive
             .
             Besides
             ,
             to
             tell
             you
             the
             truth
             ,
             the
             People
             are
             somewhat
             wiser
             in
             this
             Age
             ,
             than
             to
             take
             every
             thing
             for
             Popery
             ,
             which
             a
             formal
             Thing
             in
             a
             little
             Band
             ,
             and
             a
             black
             Cloak
             calls
             by
             that
             Name
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Why
             then
             we
             must
             bethink
             ourselves
             of
             some
             other
             expedient
             .
             I
             remember
             a
             pleasant
             Story
             of
             a
             Fellow
             in
             my
             time
             ,
             that
             had
             a
             Show
             at
             a
             Fair
             ,
             so
             it
             seems
             the
             business
             in
             hand
             required
             a
             little
             Snow
             :
             says
             the
             Master
             of
             the
             Booth
             to
             the
             Fellow
             
             that
             managed
             Affairs
             behind
             the
             Curtain
             ,
             
               Why
               don't
               you
               Snow
               there
            
             ?
             Sir
             ,
             says
             the
             Fellow
             aloud
             to
             him
             ,
             all
             the
             White
             Paper
             's
             gone
             .
             
               Why
               then
               you
               Blookhead
            
             ,
             cries
             the
             Master
             ,
             
               Snow
               in
               some
               Brown
            
             Paper
             .
             And
             therefore
             Mr.
             Hick
             —
             ,
             since
             the
             old
             Clamour
             about
             Popery
             will
             be
             no
             longer
             serviceable
             to
             us
             ,
             let
             us
             conjure
             up
             something
             else
             to
             promote
             our
             Cause
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             That
             's
             well
             enough
             considered
             .
             And
             who
             so
             fit
             to
             draw
             up
             the
             Indictment
             against
             the
             Prelatick
             Party
             ,
             as
             the
             experienced
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ?
             Your
             Talent
             I
             am
             sure
             lies
             in
             Scandal
             ,
             and
             unless
             the
             other
             World
             has
             alter'd
             you
             for
             the
             worse
             ,
             you
             are
             not
             unprovided
             of
             Malice
             to
             encourage
             you
             to
             do
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             What
             think
             you
             then
             ,
             if
             we
             shou'd
             tax
             'em
             with
             Ignorance
             ,
             and
             want
             of
             Learning
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             It
             wou'd
             do
             very
             well
             ,
             I
             confess
             ,
             if
             you
             cou'd
             but
             perswade
             the
             Booksellers
             to
             burn
             all
             the
             Books
             and
             Sermons
             they
             have
             Printed
             within
             these
             twenty
             Years
             ;
             for
             those
             are
             like
             to
             be
             so
             many
             speaking
             Evidences
             against
             us
             :
             and
             then
             you
             must
             be
             sure
             to
             clap
             a
             Padlock
             upon
             most
             of
             the
             Conventicles
             here
             in
             Town
             ;
             for
             if
             our
             Enemies
             should
             take
             occosion
             to
             peep
             in
             there
             ,
             't
             is
             ten
             to
             one
             ,
             but
             they
             'll
             return
             the
             Charge
             back
             again
             upon
             those
             that
             began
             it
             ;
             There
             's
             first
             of
             all
             Mr.
             
               Burg
               —
               ss
            
             ,
             yonder
             in
             
               Covent
               Garden
            
             ,
             must
             be
             desired
             to
             hold
             his
             Peace
             ;
             for
             you
             cann't
             imagine
             how
             strangly
             People
             talk
             of
             him
             ,
             for
             the
             freedom
             he
             uses
             in
             his
             Pulpit
             ,
             and
             particularly
             saying
             ,
             a
             Sunday
             or
             two
             ago
             ,
             
               That
               our
               Saviour
               was
               the
               Second
               Edition
               of
               God
               Almighty's
               Will
               with
               Amendments
               .
            
             Then
             we
             must
             likewise
             silence
             poor
             Mr.
             Mayow
             ,
             at
             Colledge-Hill
             ,
             he
             that
             in
             the
             Days
             of
             Yore
             held
             a
             Brew-house
             in
             Commendam
             with
             a
             Conventicle
             ,
             by
             the
             same
             Token
             that
             the
             Ungodly
             rail'd
             at
             him
             for
             keeping
             Pluralities
             ,
             not
             knowing
             that
             the
             Saints
             ought
             to
             have
             Grains
             of
             Allowance
             given
             '
             em
             .
             And
             lastly
             the
             zealous
             Mr.
             
               Timothy
               Cr-s-r
            
             must
             be
             serv'd
             after
             the
             same
             manner
             ,
             a
             plain
             unaffected
             Preacher
             ,
             't
             is
             true
             ,
             and
             one
             that
             values
             himself
             as
             much
             upon
             the
             score
             of
             his
             being
             unacquainted
             with
             the
             Fathers
             ,
             as
             a
             jealous
             Cheapside
             Cit
             hugs
             himself
             for
             being
             unacquainted
             with
             any
             of
             the
             borrowing
             Courtiers
             .
             He
             was
             haranguing
             the
             other
             day
             about
             the
             late
             Rapes
             ,
             and
             told
             his
             Auditory
             ,
             That
             
               so
               manifold
               and
               sundry
               were
               the
               Rapes
               committed
               in
               and
               about
               the
               Town
               ,
               that
               it
               looked
               as
               if
               the
               great
               Enemy
               of
               Mankind
               the
               Devil
               ,
               had
               sown
               the
               City
               with
               Rape-seed
               .
            
             
             This
             has
             sunk
             his
             Reputation
             somewhat
             in
             the
             World.
             There
             are
             several
             others
             in
             the
             same
             predicament
             with
             these
             ;
             but
             it
             wou'd
             be
             as
             troublesome
             to
             enlarge
             upon
             their
             Characters
             ,
             as
             to
             acquaint
             you
             with
             all
             the
             variety
             of
             Night-Caps
             ,
             Flannel
             Shirts
             ,
             Wastcoats
             ,
             Doublets
             ,
             and
             Upper-Coats
             a
             certain
             Noble
             Peer
             wears
             in
             the
             Winter
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             I
             find
             by
             what
             you
             have
             told
             me
             ,
             it
             will
             not
             be
             so
             very
             convenient
             to
             muster
             up
             the
             Charge
             of
             Ignorance
             .
             But
             what
             say
             you
             now
             to
             the
             old
             Imputation
             of
             Debauchery
             and
             Profaneness
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             am
             afraid
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             this
             same
             business
             will
             do
             us
             as
             little
             service
             as
             the
             former
             ,
             't
             is
             a
             two-edged
             Sword
             ,
             and
             cuts
             either
             way
             .
             We
             still
             call
             ourselves
             indeed
             ,
             the
             sober
             godly
             part
             of
             the
             Nation
             ;
             for
             the
             same
             reason
             ,
             I
             suppose
             ,
             as
             the
             Kings
             of
             England
             stile
             themselves
             Kings
             of
             
               France
               ,
               viz.
            
             because
             our
             Forefathers
             were
             so
             :
             But
             they
             ,
             a
             shame
             take
             'em
             for
             it
             ,
             wore
             their
             Hypocrisie
             to
             Rags
             ,
             and
             so
             their
             Sons
             were
             cheated
             of
             their
             Inheritance
             ,
             and
             have
             only
             the
             Name
             to
             boast
             of
             .
             A
             pious
             Sister
             can
             now
             pass
             by
             a
             Church
             ,
             even
             when
             the
             Organ
             is
             playing
             ,
             and
             yet
             fall
             into
             no
             Fits
             ,
             or
             be
             discomposed
             at
             the
             matter
             :
             And
             a
             moody
             Brother
             can
             ride
             his
             Horse
             by
             a
             
             May-Pole
             ,
             and
             yet
             the
             insensible
             Beast
             never
             starts
             ,
             or
             offers
             to
             throw
             his
             Master
             ;
             even
             singing
             of
             Psalms
             in
             private
             Families
             is
             as
             much
             out
             of
             fashion
             ,
             as
             paying
             of
             Debts
             with
             the
             Men
             of
             Alsatia
             ;
             a
             Man
             may
             go
             through
             the
             Poultry
             ,
             or
             any
             of
             the
             most
             sanctified
             Streets
             about
             the
             Town
             a
             hundred
             times
             ,
             and
             hear
             none
             of
             the
             comfortable
             Poetry
             of
             Sternhold
             ,
             and
             Wisdom
             .
             Lay
             Elders
             send
             their
             Daughters
             to
             Dancing
             Schools
             ,
             and
             their
             Sons
             wear
             Long
             Hair
             ,
             and
             set
             up
             for
             Sparks
             of
             the
             Town
             .
             'T
             is
             a
             sad
             observation
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             but
             a
             very
             true
             one
             ,
             that
             as
             a
             Miser
             generally
             begets
             a
             Prodigal
             ,
             so
             a
             Saint
             begets
             a
             Rake-hell
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Alas
             ,
             I
             am
             sorry
             to
             hear
             it
             ,
             and
             is
             there
             then
             ne're
             a
             publick
             spirited
             Son
             of
             Thunder
             in
             the
             whole
             Tribe
             ,
             that
             has
             Courage
             and
             Hardiness
             enough
             to
             lash
             the
             degeneracy
             of
             the
             Age
             ,
             and
             awake
             People
             to
             a
             sense
             of
             their
             Duty
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             No
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             since
             you
             left
             the
             Earth
             ,
             we
             have
             been
             destitute
             of
             such
             brave
             ,
             fiery
             ,
             resolute
             Patriots
             .
             There
             is
             indeed
             one
             Mr.
             Stephens
             a
             
             Poultry-Author
             ,
             that
             has
             very
             lately
             attempted
             something
             of
             this
             nature
             ,
             but
             through
             his
             too
             zealous
             management
             
             of
             the
             Affair
             it
             happen'd
             to
             miscarry
             .
             He
             proposed
             to
             the
             Parliament
             ,
             to
             have
             the
             beginning
             or
             pledging
             of
             a
             Health
             ,
             punish'd
             with
             the
             same
             Penalty
             as
             he
             sets
             
               
            
             upon
             Swearing
             ,
             which
             is
             the
             precise
             Sum
             of
             twenty
             shillings
             ,
             and
             in
             case
             of
             disability
             ,
             to
             have
             those
             notorious
             Offenders
             put
             in
             the
             Stocks
             and
             whipt
             .
             So
             likewise
             ,
             for
             any
             one
             that
             should
             presume
             to
             keep
             an
             Organ
             in
             a
             Publick
             House
             ,
             to
             be
             fined
             20
             l.
             and
             made
             uncapable
             of
             being
             an
             Ale-draper
             for
             the
             future
             .
             But
             Mr.
             St
             —
             did
             not
             think
             this
             punishment
             was
             sufficient
             for
             'em
             ,
             so
             he
             humbly
             requested
             to
             have
             'em
             excommunicated
             into
             the
             bargain
             ,
             and
             not
             to
             be
             absolv'd
             without
             doing
             Publick
             Penance
             ?
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             And
             did
             so
             pious
             a
             Project
             as
             this
             come
             to
             nothing
             do
             you
             say
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             'T
             is
             very
             true
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             it
             was
             nipt
             in
             the
             bud
             .
             Not
             to
             be
             tedious
             with
             you
             ,
             there
             are
             none
             of
             the
             Dissenters
             that
             make
             any
             tolerable
             pretence
             to
             their
             ancient
             Austerity
             but
             the
             Quakers
             ,
             and
             even
             they
             begin
             to
             decline
             by
             degrees
             from
             their
             primitive
             Institution
             .
             They
             still
             make
             a
             shift
             to
             retain
             their
             distinguishing
             Garb
             ,
             their
             little
             Cravats
             ,
             broad-brim'd
             Hats
             ,
             short
             Hair
             ,
             and
             Coats
             without
             Pockets
             before
             ;
             but
             as
             for
             the
             rest
             of
             the
             Separatists
             ,
             they
             have
             clearly
             lost
             all
             their
             Ear-marks
             ;
             you
             may
             meet
             with
             twenty
             and
             twenty
             of
             'em
             in
             the
             Streets
             ,
             and
             yet
             not
             be
             able
             to
             distinguish
             'em
             from
             the
             prophane
             part
             of
             Mankind
             ,
             by
             any
             exterior
             appearances
             .
             And
             to
             say
             the
             truth
             ,
             their
             Forefathers
             are
             to
             be
             blamed
             for
             it
             ;
             they
             wore
             their
             Hypocrisie
             ,
             as
             they
             say
             a
             Welch-man
             wears
             a
             Shirt
             ,
             till
             it
             drop
             off
             from
             their
             shoulders
             ;
             they
             did
             not
             leave
             Hypocrisie
             ,
             but
             Hypocrisie
             left
             them
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Well
             ,
             I
             should
             utterly
             despair
             of
             ever
             hearing
             that
             Presbytery
             wou'd
             make
             a
             figure
             again
             in
             the
             World
             ,
             unless
             it
             were
             for
             some
             comfortable
             News
             that
             I
             have
             learn'd
             of
             a
             Scotch
             Ghost
             in
             the
             other
             World.
             He
             inform'd
             me
             of
             the
             miraculous
             Turn
             of
             Affairs
             in
             that
             Kingdom
             ,
             how
             Episcopacy
             was
             abolished
             ,
             and
             Christianity
             in
             its
             
               puris
               naturalibus
            
             set
             up
             in
             the
             room
             of
             it
             ;
             and
             what
             is
             yet
             more
             material
             ,
             how
             the
             Covenant
             ,
             the
             Covenant
             of
             blessed
             Memory
             is
             still
             looked
             upon
             as
             obligatory
             .
             So
             I
             am
             in
             good
             hopes
             our
             dear
             Brethren
             there
             will
             cross
             the
             
             Tweed
             ,
             one
             of
             these
             days
             ,
             to
             remove
             the
             accursed
             thing
             ,
             to
             propagate
             the
             Cause
             ,
             and
             establish
             the
             great
             Works
             of
             Righteousness
             and
             Truth
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Take
             my
             word
             for
             't
             ,
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             that
             Turn
             of
             Affairs
             ,
             as
             you
             call
             it
             ,
             in
             Scotland
             ,
             is
             not
             so
             much
             for
             our
             advantage
             as
             you
             imagine
             .
             For
             my
             part
             ,
             I
             'm
             so
             far
             from
             thinking
             it
             will
             contribute
             any
             thing
             to
             our
             Interest
             ,
             that
             on
             the
             other
             hand
             ,
             I
             fear
             it
             has
             broke
             the
             Neck
             of
             our
             Reputation
             ,
             or
             rather
             of
             our
             Juggling
             .
             They
             have
             carried
             on
             the
             Reformation
             in
             that
             Kingdom
             with
             so
             much
             heat
             and
             rigour
             ,
             not
             to
             call
             it
             cruelty
             ,
             that
             altho'
             their
             Brethren
             of
             the
             same
             Perswasion
             here
             in
             England
             have
             made
             a
             horrid
             noise
             about
             the
             persecuting
             Spirit
             of
             the
             Established
             Church
             ,
             and
             daily
             talk
             of
             Moderation
             ,
             and
             giving
             Quarter
             to
             those
             of
             a
             different
             Religion
             ;
             yet
             't
             is
             breath
             foolishly
             spent
             ,
             for
             every
             body
             believes
             they
             wou'd
             Copy
             from
             their
             dear
             Brethren
             of
             Scotland
             ,
             if
             ever
             they
             shou'd
             arrive
             to
             have
             the
             Power
             in
             their
             hands
             .
             Such
             an
             ill
             favour'd
             Accident
             as
             this
             happen'd
             in
             the
             late
             Reign
             :
             The
             Jesuits
             were
             willing
             to
             wipe
             off
             some
             of
             the
             most
             popular
             Scandal
             from
             Popery
             ,
             so
             they
             prevail'd
             with
             the
             King
             to
             grant
             Liberty
             of
             Conscience
             to
             all
             his
             Subjects
             ,
             and
             then
             they
             fell
             a
             magnifying
             the
             Charity
             and
             Bowels
             of
             the
             Church
             of
             Rome
             ,
             after
             a
             wonderful
             manner
             .
             At
             the
             same
             time
             those
             of
             the
             Society
             in
             France
             ,
             were
             playing
             the
             Devil
             at
             the
             expence
             of
             the
             poor
             Hugonets
             ;
             so
             it
             was
             a
             very
             comical
             Scene
             to
             observe
             with
             what
             flourishes
             the
             Priests
             recommended
             Love
             and
             Unity
             ,
             and
             Forbearance
             to
             us
             here
             at
             home
             ,
             when
             there
             daily
             came
             over
             such
             shoals
             of
             French
             Refugee's
             to
             contradict
             every
             Syllable
             they
             said
             ;
             and
             't
             is
             no
             small
             diversion
             to
             our
             Enemies
             without
             doubt
             ,
             to
             hear
             our
             Dissenting
             Parsons
             talk
             of
             Peaceableness
             and
             Gentleness
             ,
             and
             the
             Lord
             knows
             what
             ,
             when
             our
             streets
             are
             crouded
             with
             so
             many
             of
             the
             Episcopal
             Clergy
             of
             the
             other
             Kingdom
             ,
             whom
             the
             Presbyterian
             Moderation
             has
             forced
             to
             seek
             their
             Bread
             in
             another
             Climate
             .
             —
             But
             stay
             ,
             who
             comes
             here
             ,
             't
             is
             one
             of
             my
             own
             Cloath
             
               David
               J
               —
               appears
               .
            
             I
             perceive
             .
             I
             'll
             say
             that
             for
             him
             ,
             he
             's
             a
             brave
             lusty
             well-built
             Fellow
             .
             But
             he
             mutters
             with
             himself
             ,
             like
             a
             bilked
             Coach-man
             ,
             or
             a
             disappointed
             Projector
             ,
             and
             looks
             as
             fierce
             and
             furious
             as
             if
             he
             had
             some
             strange
             design
             or
             other
             upon
             Daniel
             and
             the
             Revelations
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             David
             .
          
           
             What
             to
             be
             thus
             ridicul'd
             and
             affronted
             ,
             for
             the
             sake
             of
             an
             innocent
             well-meaning
             Sermon
             !
             to
             be
             crost
             and
             tost
             from
             Doctors-Commons
             to
             Fulham
             ,
             and
             at
             last
             to
             have
             an
             Ecclesiastical
             Padlock
             set
             upon
             my
             Mouth
             ,
             't
             is
             hard
             ,
             nay
             barbarous
             ,
             nay
             Paganish
             ,
             and
             Unchristian
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             What
             does
             the
             Fellow
             mean
             ,
             I
             wonder
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             
               When
               sins
               do
               once
               begin
               to
               grow
               to
               an
               head
               ,
               and
               to
               become
               in
               fashion
               ,
               they
               are
               to
               be
               roughly
               and
               severely
               dealt
               withal
               .
               An
               ordinary
               concern
               in
               such
               a
               case
               ,
               
               is
               no
               better
               than
               silence
               ,
               and
               silence
               in
               such
               a
               case
               is
               no
               better
               than
               down-right
               flattery
               .
               And
               to
               hold
               our
               Peace
               in
               such
               a
               case
               is
               all
               one
               ,
               as
               to
               cry
               aloud
               ,
               Peace
               ,
               peace
               .
            
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             That
             is
             as
             much
             as
             to
             say
             ,
             't
             is
             all
             one
             to
             speak
             ,
             and
             to
             say
             nothing
             .
             This
             young
             Sir
             Roger
             ,
             I
             perceive
             ,
             besides
             his
             other
             laudable
             Qualities
             ,
             has
             a
             pretty
             Talent
             at
             quibling
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             
               But
               people
               will
               say
               ,
               Alas
               poor
               Man
               !
               These
               Times
               will
               never
               bear
               it
               .
               But
               to
               these
               I
               answer
               ,
               These
               Times
               will
               ,
               and
               must
               ,
               and
               shall
               bear
               it
               ,
            
             if
             I
             say
             the
             word
             .
             
             Iniquity
             ,
             let
             it
             be
             distinguish'd
             by
             what
             Titles
             it
             will
             ,
             shall
             feel
             the
             severity
             of
             my
             Indignation
             ,
             and
             Prelates
             shall
             learn
             by
             my
             Example
             ,
             what
             Vices
             to
             lash
             ,
             and
             what
             Sins
             to
             preach
             against
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Bravely
             resolved
             ,
             I
             protest
             :
             He
             's
             one
             of
             us
             ,
             I
             perceive
             ,
             Brother
             Pryn
             ,
             I'
             faith
             I
             long
             to
             be
             acquainted
             with
             him
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             To
             think
             that
             a
             little
             foolish
             Admonition
             wou'd
             prevail
             with
             me
             so
             far
             ,
             as
             to
             make
             me
             neglect
             my
             Duty
             ,
             and
             the
             Salvation
             of
             Souls
             !
             't
             was
             meer
             stuff
             .
             No
             ,
             I
             'll
             roar
             against
             Sin
             louder
             than
             Euroclydon
             in
             the
             Acts
             ,
             I
             'll
             bestride
             the
             Dragon
             upon
             Bow
             ,
             and
             from
             thence
             denounce
             Perdition
             and
             Desolation
             to
             the
             whole
             City
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             now
             I
             begin
             to
             melt
             .
             Something
             within
             whispers
             me
             ,
             that
             this
             young
             Boanerges
             and
             I
             were
             cast
             in
             the
             same
             Mold
             .
             'T
             is
             a
             tough
             brawny
             fighting
             Carle
             I
             warrant
             him
             ,
             he
             'd
             make
             you
             nothing
             of
             a
             dozen
             Porters
             or
             Water-men
             at
             a
             time
             .
             I
             wish
             I
             had
             him
             at
             Colchester
             to
             read
             Prayers
             ,
             and
             fight
             my
             Battels
             for
             me
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             All
             Mankind
             is
             my
             Diocess
             ,
             and
             every
             particular
             Sin
             subject
             to
             my
             Visitation
             :
             Before
             the
             Courtiers
             I
             'll
             preach
             against
             false
             Promises
             ,
             and
             no
             Payments
             .
             Before
             the
             Town-Ladies
             ,
             
             against
             hiring
             a
             Friend
             to
             joyn
             'em
             with
             some
             noted
             Gallant
             in
             a
             Lampoon
             ,
             and
             carrying
             their
             Patch-Boxes
             ,
             and
             Pocket-Looking-glasses
             to
             Church
             .
             Before
             the
             Foot-Guards
             ,
             against
             building
             of
             Sconces
             ,
             and
             rubbing
             out
             of
             Milk-scores
             .
             Before
             the
             Beaux
             of
             Covent-Garden
             ,
             against
             Lamblacking
             of
             Signs
             ,
             and
             bilking
             Hackney-Coaches
             .
             Before
             the
             Poets
             —
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             If
             you
             can
             get
             'em
             into
             the
             Church
             ,
             I
             suppose
             ,
             otherwise
             not
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Against
             stealing
             from
             one
             another
             ,
             flattering
             their
             Patrons
             ,
             and
             shamming
             their
             Booksellers
             .
             Before
             Porters
             ,
             against
             Whipping
             the
             Snake
             ,
             and
             squandering
             away
             their
             precious
             time
             at
             Putt
             ,
             and
             All-Fours
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Just
             of
             my
             own
             humour
             and
             inclination
             ,
             I
             vow
             .
             I
             can
             scarce
             forbear
             interrupting
             him
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Thus
             
               I
               'll
               discharge
               my
               indispensable
               Duty
               ,
               without
               all
               fear
               or
               favour
            
             [
             p.
             10.
             ]
             .
             I
             'll
             reprove
             the
             Lawyers
             for
             prolonging
             their
             Law-Suits
             ;
             the
             Physitians
             for
             prolonging
             their
             Cures
             ,
             the
             Vintners
             for
             selling
             Claret
             for
             Barcelona
             ,
             and
             the
             City-Aldermen
             for
             forgetting
             their
             Leather-Breeches
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             find
             he
             'll
             make
             his
             words
             good
             .
             He
             'll
             visit
             all
             Mankind
             before
             he
             has
             done
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Merchants
             shall
             find
             the
             severity
             of
             my
             wrath
             ,
             for
             their
             taking
             20
             
               per
               Cent.
            
             Military
             Officers
             for
             making
             false
             Musters
             ;
             the
             City-Justices
             for
             conniving
             at
             Fornication
             in
             Sattin
             ,
             and
             punishing
             it
             in
             Grape
             :
             Chamber-Maids
             for
             telling
             Tales
             behind
             their
             Master's
             back
             ;
             Gentlemen
             Ushers
             for
             carrying
             such
             small
             pittiful
             Legs
             about
             them
             ,
             to
             the
             great
             scandal
             of
             their
             Ladies
             ,
             as
             if
             they
             had
             drained
             '
             em
             .
             Schoolmasters
             for
             suffering
             their
             Boys
             to
             be
             meer
             Arrians
             in
             Grammar
             ,
             and
             confound
             the
             Three
             Persons
             ;
             the
             two
             Universities
             for
             neglecting
             Aristotle
             ,
             and
             preferring
             Men
             of
             no
             merit
             ;
             and
             lastly
             Divines
             for
             a
             whole
             Cart-load
             ,
             nay
             a
             Multitude
             ,
             nay
             an
             Ocean
             of
             —
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             can
             hold
             no
             longer
             an'
             I
             were
             to
             be
             hang'd
             .
             He
             has
             won
             the
             heart
             of
             me
             for
             ever
             .
             Worthy
             Sir
             ,
             I
             am
             your
             most
             humble
             Servant
             .
             My
             Friend
             and
             I
             here
             made
             bold
             to
             over-hear
             your
             Discourse
             ,
             and
             are
             perfectly
             ravish'd
             to
             find
             ,
             that
             there
             is
             a
             young
             Man
             of
             such
             rare
             integrity
             ,
             and
             boldness
             in
             the
             Nation
             ,
             from
             whom
             we
             are
             to
             expect
             such
             Miracles
             and
             Prodigies
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Sir
             ,
             you
             are
             both
             Strangers
             .
             I
             don't
             understand
             how
             —
          
        
         
           
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Come
             ,
             come
             ,
             dear
             Heart
             ,
             I
             know
             thy
             meaning
             as
             well
             as
             if
             I
             had
             been
             in
             the
             Belly
             of
             thee
             .
             Thou
             wast
             going
             to
             tell
             us
             ,
             that
             thy
             Parts
             do
             not
             lie
             much
             in
             Complementing
             ;
             no
             more
             do
             mine
             ,
             I
             'll
             assure
             thee
             .
             Why
             ,
             Child
             ,
             I
             am
             of
             the
             same
             kidney
             with
             thy
             dear
             self
             .
             I
             am
             as
             gruff
             ,
             and
             testy
             ,
             and
             proud
             ,
             and
             ill-natur'd
             a
             Fellow
             as
             thou
             cou'dst
             wish
             for
             .
             But
             to
             let
             thee
             see
             ,
             my
             young
             Drawcansir
             ,
             that
             thou
             art
             not
             fallen
             into
             bad
             Company
             ,
             that
             is
             the
             Ghost
             of
             the
             famous
             
               William
               Pryn
            
             ,
             and
             I
             am
             the
             no
             less
             famous
             Hick
             —
             of
             Colchester
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Oh
             the
             unexpected
             Happiness
             that
             my
             good
             Fortune
             has
             thrown
             upon
             me
             !
             That
             I
             shou'd
             be
             so
             happy
             ,
             as
             to
             meet
             with
             two
             such
             celebrated
             Persons
             at
             a
             time
             .
             And
             art
             thou
             then
             the
             Ghost
             of
             the
             indefatigable
             ,
             irrefragable
             ,
             invincible
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             for
             whose
             Writings
             and
             other
             Vertues
             I
             have
             ever
             had
             so
             great
             a
             veneration
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             The
             very
             same
             ,
             dear
             Sir
             :
             and
             I
             shall
             not
             think
             my
             Journey
             into
             this
             World
             ill
             bestow'd
             ,
             since
             it
             has
             furnished
             me
             with
             the
             opportunity
             of
             seeing
             so
             accomplish'd
             a
             Person
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             And
             art
             thou
             likewise
             the
             puissant
             ,
             Polemic
             Divine
             of
             
               Colchester
               ,
               Edm.
               Hick
            
             —
             by
             Name
             ,
             with
             Heart
             of
             Oak
             ,
             and
             Lungs
             of
             Leather
             ?
             Oh
             thou
             true
             Mirror
             of
             Ecclesiastical
             Chivalry
             !
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             am
             he
             ,
             my
             Noble
             Son
             of
             Thunder
             ,
             for
             want
             of
             a
             better
             .
             And
             sha'nt
             we
             have
             one
             civil
             touch
             at
             Fifty-cuffs
             ,
             or
             so
             ,
             before
             we
             part
             .
             Odd
             I
             long
             mightily
             to
             exercise
             my
             hand
             .
             But
             dear
             Rogue
             ,
             we
             'll
             only
             batter
             one
             another
             in
             jest
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Well
             Sir
             ,
             I
             hope
             you
             are
             satisfied
             with
             your
             Company
             .
             Not
             to
             amuse
             you
             then
             with
             any
             farther
             Ceremonies
             ,
             which
             is
             always
             needless
             and
             impertinent
             amongst
             Friends
             ,
             I
             wou'd
             willingly
             be
             acquainted
             with
             your
             present
             Condition
             and
             Circumstances
             .
             You
             may
             assure
             your self
             ,
             I
             shall
             ever
             be
             ready
             to
             do
             you
             what
             Service
             I
             can
             ,
             which
             is
             to
             give
             you
             a
             good
             Character
             before-hand
             ,
             in
             the
             other
             World
             ;
             and
             as
             for
             my
             Friend
             there
             ,
             I
             don't
             question
             but
             he
             'll
             employ
             all
             his
             Interest
             for
             you
             ,
             whenever
             he
             's
             favoured
             with
             an
             opportunity
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Ay
             ,
             ay
             ,
             you
             may
             swear
             I
             'll
             do
             him
             all
             the
             kindness
             I
             can
             .
             I
             'll
             make
             a
             Dean
             ,
             a
             Bishop
             ,
             an
             Arch-deacon
             ,
             the
             Lord
             knows
             what
             of
             thee
             ,
             one
             of
             these
             days
             ,
             my
             dear
             Lad.
             Tho'
             may
             Small
             beer
             ,
             and
             no
             Brandy
             be
             my
             portion
             ,
             if
             I
             have
             Interest
             enough
             to
             help
             him
             to
             any
             higher
             Preferment
             ,
             than
             to
             be
             Chaplain
             to
             a
             Market-Boat
             .
             
               Aside
               .
            
          
        
         
           
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Truly
             Gentlemen
             ,
             I
             take
             you
             both
             for
             a
             couple
             of
             civil
             vertuous
             Persons
             ,
             Men
             of
             my
             own
             complexion
             and
             temper
             ,
             and
             therefore
             shall
             not
             conceal
             the
             least
             material
             passage
             of
             my
             Life
             from
             you
             .
             —
             To
             begin
             then
             ,
             Wales
             is
             my
             Native
             Country
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             am
             glad
             to
             hear
             it
             ,
             my
             bold
             Britain
             ,
             with
             all
             my
             heart
             .
             Unless
             my
             Memory
             fails
             me
             ,
             we
             are
             indebted
             to
             that
             place
             for
             Pelagius
             ,
             and
             the
             more
             modern
             
               Martin
               Mar-Prelate
            
             ,
             besides
             thy
             heroick
             self
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Oxford
             the
             Scene
             of
             my
             Education
             ,
             where
             I
             have
             still
             a
             small
             foolish
             Trifle
             ,
             which
             another
             Man
             perhaps
             wou'd
             value
             ,
             but
             I
             hate
             and
             despise
             .
             At
             present
             my
             Residence
             is
             in
             London
             ,
             where
             I
             design
             two
             things
             :
             First
             ,
             To
             put
             in
             for
             the
             next
             vacant
             Lecture
             ,
             or
             Reader
             's
             place
             ;
             and
             Secondly
             ;
             in
             order
             to
             that
             ,
             To
             rail
             and
             bellow
             at
             all
             the
             visible
             and
             invisible
             Vice
             in
             the
             Nation
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Very
             politickly
             contrived
             ,
             dear
             Heart
             .
             But
             may
             I
             make
             so
             bold
             with
             you
             ,
             as
             to
             enquire
             ,
             why
             the
             University
             is
             not
             honoured
             with
             your
             Company
             ;
             especially
             ,
             since
             to
             use
             your
             own
             expression
             ,
             you
             have
             a
             certain
             Trifle
             there
             ,
             which
             one
             wou'd
             think
             ,
             might
             oblige
             you
             to
             continue
             upon
             the
             spot
             ,
             a
             year
             or
             two
             longer
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Sir
             ,
             you
             have
             put
             a
             question
             to
             me
             ,
             which
             it
             goes
             somewhat
             against
             the
             grain
             to
             answer
             ;
             but
             since
             I
             promised
             to
             conceal
             nothing
             from
             you
             ,
             I
             must
             tell
             you
             then
             ,
             that
             my
             Life
             was
             so
             very
             uneasie
             to
             me
             there
             ,
             that
             I
             wou'd
             much
             rather
             chuse
             to
             live
             in
             Green-land
             ,
             or
             a
             
             Tobacco-Plantation
             ,
             than
             in
             the
             University
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             And
             what
             might
             be
             the
             occasion
             of
             that
             ,
             my
             dearly
             beloved
             Son.
             
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Nothing
             in
             the
             World
             as
             I
             know
             of
             ,
             but
             onely
             my
             plain
             dealing
             humour
             ;
             for
             if
             a
             Doctor
             or
             so
             chanced
             to
             preach
             a
             dull
             Sermon
             ,
             I
             cou'd
             not
             forbear
             to
             quarrel
             with
             him
             upon
             that
             score
             :
             or
             ,
             if
             a
             Head
             of
             a
             House
             preferr'd
             an
             undeserving
             Fellow
             ,
             I
             was
             sure
             to
             make
             all
             the
             Coffee-Houses
             in
             the
             Town
             ring
             with
             the
             News
             ;
             or
             if
             a
             Professor
             made
             a
             publick
             Speech
             ,
             't
             was
             ten
             to
             one
             but
             I
             found
             out
             either
             false
             Latin
             ,
             or
             no
             Philosophy
             in
             it
             ;
             or
             if
             such
             a
             Man
             used
             to
             take
             his
             Bottle
             of
             Wine
             before
             he
             went
             to
             Bed
             ,
             why
             't
             is
             very
             likely
             I
             taxed
             him
             with
             the
             Sin
             of
             Drunkenness
             .
             In
             short
             ,
             there
             was
             nothing
             acted
             in
             the
             University
             ,
             either
             
             of
             a
             publick
             or
             private
             nature
             ,
             but
             I
             according
             to
             the
             open
             frankness
             of
             my
             humour
             ,
             made
             bold
             to
             examine
             ,
             and
             generally
             to
             find
             fault
             with
             .
             The
             great
             Men
             there
             ,
             were
             too
             much
             conceited
             of
             themselves
             ,
             to
             consult
             my
             Advice
             ,
             and
             so
             let
             'em
             share
             the
             blame
             amongst
             '
             em
             .
             But
             't
             was
             none
             of
             my
             fault
             ,
             I
             daily
             told
             'em
             of
             their
             Duty
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             A
             very
             free
             plain-dealing
             sort
             of
             a
             temper
             this
             ,
             as
             one
             may
             say
             .
             But
             to
             pursue
             the
             Discourse
             ,
             how
             hast
             thou
             spent
             thy
             time
             since
             ,
             thou
             Heir
             Apparent
             to
             my
             Prowess
             ,
             and
             Fortitude
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             After
             a
             year
             or
             two's
             continuance
             in
             the
             Country
             ,
             I
             removed
             to
             London
             ,
             where
             I
             presum'd
             I
             might
             have
             a
             fairer
             opportunity
             of
             shewing
             my
             Parts
             ,
             than
             Wales
             could
             afford
             .
             Here
             I
             have
             preached
             for
             some
             time
             ,
             as
             often
             as
             my
             Friends
             would
             accommodate
             me
             with
             a
             Pulpit
             ,
             and
             tho'
             I
             say
             it
             ,
             that
             should
             not
             ,
             not
             without
             the
             general
             approbation
             of
             the
             People
             here
             in
             the
             City
             .
             But
             now
             I
             am
             afraid
             I
             must
             take
             my
             last
             Farewell
             of
             Preaching
             ,
             for
             I
             can
             prevail
             with
             no
             body
             almost
             to
             lend
             me
             a
             Pulpit
             .
             They
             are
             as
             afraid
             of
             lending
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             As
             a
             Citizen
             is
             of
             lending
             his
             Wife
             to
             a
             Courtier
             .
             And
             sayst
             thou
             so
             dear
             Heart
             !
             't
             is
             no
             great
             matter
             .
             I
             dare
             engage
             any
             of
             the
             Conventicles
             here
             in
             Town
             ,
             wou'd
             be
             glad
             to
             receive
             a
             Youth
             of
             such
             commendable
             Qualities
             .
             But
             prithee
             ,
             how
             comes
             it
             about
             ,
             that
             People
             are
             so
             shie
             to
             venture
             thee
             in
             their
             Pulpits
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             The
             same
             frank
             open
             humour
             that
             made
             me
             so
             remarkable
             at
             Oxford
             ,
             has
             attended
             me
             to
             this
             City
             .
             So
             if
             the
             Clergy-man
             for
             whom
             I
             preach
             was
             famous
             for
             his
             Talent
             of
             Oratory
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             ,
             I
             never
             fail'd
             to
             wipe
             him
             
               for
               preaching
               up
               himself
               ,
               and
               turning
               the
               Pulpit
               into
               a
            
             Rostrum
             :
             or
             if
             he
             was
             a
             Noble-man's
             Chaplain
             ,
             and
             visited
             the
             Court
             but
             once
             a
             Month
             ,
             he
             was
             sure
             to
             be
             chastised
             for
             
               degrading
               the
               Royal
               Priesthood
               ,
               for
               serving
               Tables
               ,
               and
               ascending
               downwards
               to
               Temporal
               Iudicatures
            
             [
             pag.
             14.
             ]
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             A
             very
             ingenious
             Expression
             that
             of
             
               Ascending
               downwards
               to
               Temporal
               Iudicatures
            
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Well
             then
             ,
             this
             is
             all
             ,
             upon
             my
             word
             ,
             Gentlemen
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             And
             enough
             in
             Conscience
             .
             But
             after
             this
             open
             ,
             free-hearted
             manner
             (
             as
             Erasmus
             tells
             us
             )
             the
             Mendicant
             Fryars
             were
             used
             to
             serve
             the
             Secular
             Clergy
             .
             If
             the
             Parish
             Priest
             ,
             of
             whom
             they
             begged
             a
             Nights
             Lodging
             ,
             was
             so
             civil
             as
             to
             break
             
             the
             Saturday-Fast
             for
             their
             sakes
             ,
             and
             give
             'em
             a
             far
             Capon
             for
             Supper
             ,
             to
             be
             sure
             these
             plain-dealing
             People
             requited
             him
             next
             Morning
             for
             his
             Hospitality
             ,
             and
             acquainted
             the
             whole
             Congregation
             with
             the
             story
             of
             the
             Capon
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             I
             have
             likewise
             disobliged
             my
             Brethren
             with
             a
             Sermon
             that
             I
             lately
             printed
             ;
             but
             let
             'em
             say
             what
             they
             please
             ,
             I
             am
             sure
             there
             's
             nothing
             in
             it
             ,
             which
             a
             conscientious
             honest
             Man
             may
             be
             ashamed
             to
             own
             —
             Stay
             ,
             let
             me
             see
             ,
             I
             think
             I
             have
             a
             couple
             of
             'em
             or
             more
             in
             my
             Pocket
             .
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             will
             you
             condescend
             to
             accept
             so
             small
             a
             Trifle
             from
             your
             Humble
             Admirer
             ?
             Here
             's
             another
             for
             you
             ,
             Mr.
             Hick
             —
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Hold
             ,
             what
             have
             we
             here
             ?
             
               A
               Sermon
               preached
               at
            
             Christ-Church
             ,
             London
             ,
             Nov.
             2.
             1690.
             
             By
             David
             Jones
             ,
             
               Student
               of
            
             Christ-Church
             in
             Oxford
             .
             What
             ,
             have
             we
             more
             still
             in
             the
             Title-page
             ?
             
               Published
               at
               the
               Request
               of
               his
               Friends
               .
            
             Nay
             then
             it
             cannot
             fail
             to
             be
             an
             Excellent
             one
             indeed
             .
             But
             pray
             ,
             Sir
             ,
             what
             may
             be
             the
             drift
             ,
             the
             meaning
             ,
             and
             the
             design
             of
             your
             Sermon
             ?
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             To
             make
             all
             the
             Clergy-men
             odious
             and
             contemptible
             to
             the
             Laity
             .
             'T
             is
             no
             more
             than
             what
             they
             deserve
             you
             know
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Why
             then
             your
             Friends
             ,
             at
             whose
             Request
             it
             was
             published
             ,
             are
             ,
             I
             suppose
             ,
             the
             Dissenters
             ,
             or
             some
             who
             would
             not
             be
             sorry
             to
             see
             all
             the
             Parsons
             in
             the
             Kingdom
             turned
             out
             of
             all
             ,
             and
             reduc'd
             to
             Beggery
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             'T
             is
             an
             universal
             ,
             bold-spirited
             Satyr
             ,
             and
             touches
             the
             whole
             Fraternity
             one
             way
             or
             other
             .
             Imprimis
             ,
             'T
             is
             a
             Satyr
             against
             Eloquence
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             I
             love
             thee
             dearly
             for
             that
             :
             For
             I
             hate
             Eloquence
             in
             a
             Sermon
             as
             heartily
             as
             I
             do
             a
             Citation
             from
             Doctors-Commons
             .
             I
             will
             certainly
             make
             thee
             Heir
             to
             my
             old
             ,
             trusty
             ,
             serviceable
             Cane
             ,
             and
             my
             more
             serviceable
             Concordance
             for
             this
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             In
             the
             next
             place
             ,
             't
             is
             a
             Satyr
             against
             Pluralities
             and
             Non-Residence
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Well
             ,
             I
             must
             needs
             say
             this
             ,
             we
             pitiful
             sorry
             Rascals
             ,
             that
             have
             either
             no
             Benefice
             at
             all
             ,
             or
             what
             is
             as
             bad
             ,
             a
             very
             small
             one
             ,
             rail
             at
             Pluralities
             with
             the
             best
             grace
             of
             any
             man
             breathing
             :
             And
             thus
             we
             rail
             at
             Eloquence
             in
             other
             People
             ,
             because
             we
             are
             not
             Masters
             of
             it
             our selves
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             This
             same
             Clamour
             about
             Pluralities
             was
             ever
             used
             by
             the
             Saints
             ,
             tho'
             when
             they
             came
             to
             get
             the
             Power
             in
             their
             hands
             they
             practised
             it
             themselves
             .
             For
             I
             remember
             honest
             Mr.
             Marshal
             inveighed
             very
             furiously
             against
             this
             sin
             ,
             even
             when
             he
             carried
             three
             Steeples
             in
             his
             Pocket
             ,
             as
             the
             wicked
             Malignants
             observed
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             However
             I
             commend
             thee
             dear
             Heart
             for
             Preaching
             against
             Pluralities
             here
             in
             England
             ,
             and
             not
             in
             thy
             own
             Country
             ;
             for
             tho'
             it
             may
             be
             a
             sin
             here
             ,
             't
             is
             not
             so
             I
             am
             confident
             in
             Wales
             .
             If
             holding
             of
             two
             Benefices
             ,
             where
             one
             of
             'em
             does
             not
             afford
             a
             competent
             Maintenance
             ,
             is
             no
             Crime
             at
             all
             ,
             then
             in
             Wales
             a
             Man
             may
             tack
             half
             a
             Diocess
             together
             ,
             and
             yet
             not
             be
             charged
             with
             holding
             Pluralities
             .
             A
             dozen
             Vicaridges
             there
             ,
             even
             with
             the
             Sunday
             advantage
             of
             a
             Bear
             and
             a
             Fiddle
             ,
             will
             scarce
             keep
             the
             Minister
             ,
             especially
             if
             he
             is
             married
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Lastly
             ,
             'T
             is
             a
             Satyr
             against
             Eating
             or
             Drinking
             in
             a
             Lord's
             Family
             ,
             but
             especially
             against
             Pride
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             And
             that
             is
             a
             sin
             ,
             under
             the
             Rose
             be
             it
             spoken
             ,
             which
             we
             Reformers
             are
             as
             much
             guilty
             of
             ,
             as
             any
             Men
             in
             the
             Universe
             .
             But
             my
             dear
             Son
             ,
             are
             there
             no
             civil
             touches
             at
             Ceremonies
             and
             Superstition
             ,
             and
             Altars
             in
             your
             Discourse
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Hold
             Mr.
             Pryn
             ,
             that
             's
             no
             civil
             Question
             .
             You
             know
             the
             old
             saying
             ,
             
               Nemo
               repente
               fuit
            
             ,
             and
             so
             forth
             .
             Come
             ,
             come
             ,
             Rome
             was
             not
             built
             in
             a
             day
             ,
             a
             Man
             must
             have
             time
             to
             refine
             and
             cultivate
             himself
             ;
             Mr.
             I-nes
             is
             a
             young
             Man
             ,
             and
             one
             of
             these
             days
             will
             have
             a
             fling
             at
             all
             those
             paw
             things
             you
             have
             named
             ;
             if
             he
             has
             not
             done
             it
             already
             .
             I
             think
             he
             has
             given
             us
             enough
             in
             all
             Conscience
             for
             one
             single
             Sermon
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             there
             I
             close
             with
             you
             .
             The
             Sermon
             by
             what
             account
             we
             have
             heard
             of
             it
             ,
             is
             a
             very
             commendable
             worthy
             Sermon
             ,
             and
             so
             great
             a
             value
             have
             I
             for
             it
             ,
             that
             as
             soon
             as
             ever
             I
             arrive
             at
             the
             other
             World
             ,
             I
             design
             to
             communicate
             it
             to
             all
             my
             choice
             Acquaintance
             there
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             That
             will
             be
             an
             extraordinary
             Honour
             I
             can
             assure
             you
             .
             Here
             's
             another
             of
             'em
             for
             you
             ,
             and
             pray
             present
             it
             from
             me
             ,
             to
             my
             Country-man
             Pelagius
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             And
             when
             your
             hand
             is
             in
             ,
             you
             may
             tell
             him
             ,
             That
             the
             Author
             of
             it
             will
             make
             as
             great
             a
             bustle
             in
             the
             world
             as
             ever
             he
             did
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             need
             not
             question
             but
             I
             'll
             perform
             my
             Message
             very
             
             punctually
             .
             And
             now
             my
             dear
             Son
             (
             for
             by
             that
             Name
             I
             must
             call
             you
             for
             the
             future
             )
             to
             make
             you
             some
             small
             amends
             for
             this
             kind
             voluntary
             Gift
             of
             a
             Sermon
             that
             you
             have
             made
             me
             ,
             I
             will
             make
             bold
             to
             give
             you
             a
             little
             Advice
             ;
             't
             is
             all
             I
             can
             do
             at
             present
             for
             you
             ;
             and
             to
             make
             it
             find
             the
             greater
             welcome
             with
             you
             ,
             I
             must
             in
             the
             first
             place
             tell
             you
             ,
             that
             't
             is
             the
             very
             same
             Advice
             that
             a
             late
             famous
             Assembly-man
             gave
             to
             a
             Nephew
             of
             his
             ,
             a
             little
             before
             his
             going
             into
             the
             Vineyard
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             With
             all
             my
             heart
             ,
             honoured
             Sir
             ,
             I
             shall
             listen
             to
             it
             with
             a
             great
             deal
             of
             attention
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             It
             was
             a
             constant
             saying
             with
             this
             Assembly
             man
             ,
             That
             it
             was
             the
             principal
             part
             of
             a
             Divine's
             Office
             ,
             to
             know
             how
             to
             manage
             Hell
             well
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Manage
             Hell
             well
             !
             In
             the
             Name
             of
             Wonder
             what
             did
             he
             mean
             by
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             You
             shall
             hear
             .
             As
             this
             learned
             Gentleman
             well
             observed
             ,
             Hell
             consists
             chiefly
             in
             two
             Punishments
             ,
             Roasting
             and
             Freezing
             ,
             and
             a
             Minister
             ought
             to
             take
             special
             care
             when
             to
             terrifie
             the
             People
             with
             Roasting
             ,
             and
             when
             with
             Freezing
             .
             For
             instance
             ,
             says
             he
             :
             Suppose
             a
             Man
             in
             the
             heat
             of
             Summer
             ,
             when
             we
             sweat
             and
             drip
             ,
             and
             are
             ready
             to
             faint
             away
             ,
             should
             talk
             of
             the
             freezing
             or
             gnashing
             of
             Teeth
             that
             is
             in
             Hell
             ,
             People
             wou'd
             be
             apt
             to
             conclude
             't
             is
             no
             such
             uncomfortable
             place
             as
             they
             imagined
             ,
             but
             mistake
             it
             for
             a
             Grotto
             :
             And
             then
             again
             in
             the
             midst
             of
             Winter
             ,
             if
             he
             should
             indiscreetly
             talk
             of
             roasting
             and
             fiting
             ,
             they
             would
             certainly
             think
             it
             neither
             better
             nor
             worse
             than
             a
             Bagnio
             .
             By
             this
             means
             Hell
             wou'd
             lose
             most
             of
             its
             terrour
             ,
             and
             terrour
             ,
             according
             to
             the
             Doctrine
             of
             the
             Triers
             ,
             is
             the
             first
             motive
             of
             a
             Man's
             Conversion
             .
             Therefore
             ,
             Nephew
             ,
             says
             he
             ,
             whenever
             you
             preach
             ,
             that
             you
             may
             frighten
             your
             Auditors
             into
             a
             true
             apprehension
             of
             the
             Torments
             of
             the
             other
             World
             ,
             be
             sure
             you
             always
             apply
             your
             Roasting
             in
             the
             Summer
             ,
             and
             your
             Freezing
             in
             the
             Winter
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Very
             pretty
             Advice
             upon
             my
             word
             .
             But
             not
             to
             be
             behind
             hand
             with
             my
             Brother
             Pryn
             ,
             pray
             take
             a
             little
             Advice
             from
             me
             too
             .
             You
             tell
             us
             ,
             my
             
               young
               Drawcansir
            
             ,
             that
             you
             have
             a
             design
             upon
             some
             Preferment
             here
             in
             the
             City
             ;
             and
             't
             is
             a
             very
             laudable
             design
             I
             own
             :
             So
             you
             may
             rail
             at
             the
             Bishops
             and
             the
             Clergy
             till
             your
             heart
             akes
             ,
             and
             the
             Cits
             will
             take
             thee
             for
             a
             
             Cherubim
             incarnate
             .
             But
             then
             hark
             you
             in
             my
             ear
             ,
             not
             a
             word
             of
             Rebellion
             or
             Oppression
             ,
             or
             cheating
             or
             griping
             ;
             or
             devouring
             of
             Widdows
             ,
             or
             swallowing
             of
             Orphans
             ,
             as
             you
             love
             your self
             ;
             not
             one
             single
             Syllable
             of
             all
             this
             ,
             do
             you
             mind
             me
             .
          
        
         
           
             David
             .
          
           
             Well
             Gentlemen
             ,
             I
             thank
             you
             heartily
             for
             your
             good
             Advice
             ,
             which
             to
             say
             the
             truth
             ,
             comes
             very
             seasonably
             at
             present
             ,
             to
             support
             me
             under
             the
             heavy
             load
             of
             my
             Afflictions
             .
             Not
             to
             make
             a
             tedious
             recital
             of
             my
             Misfortunes
             ,
             no
             Man
             has
             suffered
             more
             than
             myself
             ,
             and
             less
             deserved
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             Fie
             ,
             fie
             ,
             my
             Son
             of
             Thunder
             ,
             You
             a
             Sufferer
             ?
             You
             an
             Alderman
             as
             well
             ;
             What
             it
             may
             come
             to
             in
             time
             ,
             if
             you
             still
             preserve
             your
             vertuous
             Principles
             ,
             I
             can't
             tell
             :
             But
             alas
             !
             what
             you
             have
             already
             suffer'd
             ,
             does
             not
             deserve
             a
             mentioning
             .
             What!
             you
             have
             been
             ill
             spoken
             of
             ,
             I
             warrant
             ;
             And
             have
             not
             all
             your
             Predecessors
             in
             the
             Noble
             Army
             of
             Reformers
             been
             abused
             
               that
               way
            
             ten
             times
             more
             than
             yourself
             ?
             Or
             has
             an
             Ecclesiastical
             Padlock
             ,
             as
             you
             call
             it
             ,
             been
             clapt
             upon
             your
             Mouth
             ?
             Why
             't
             is
             easily
             removed
             with
             a
             little
             sham
             Repentance
             .
             You
             had
             no
             Estate
             to
             lose
             ,
             and
             no
             Preferment
             to
             forfeit
             .
             Therefore
             if
             ever
             you
             talk
             of
             Sufferers
             ,
             then
             talk
             of
             me
             ,
             and
             my
             Brother
             Pryn
             there
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             Nay
             ,
             now
             you
             are
             out
             of
             your
             Road
             ,
             Brother
             Hick
             .
             You
             are
             not
             to
             be
             named
             in
             the
             same
             Year
             with
             myself
             ,
             as
             to
             the
             point
             of
             Suffering
             .
             The
             utmost
             you
             underwent
             was
             a
             small
             Confinement
             and
             a
             small
             Suspension
             ,
             Things
             really
             not
             fit
             to
             be
             call'd
             Sufferings
             in
             any
             Language
             .
             Whereas
             I
             was
             fined
             and
             imprisoned
             ,
             and
             to
             compleat
             my
             Losses
             ,
             lost
             my
             Ears
             at
             length
             .
          
        
         
           
             Hick
             .
          
           
             What
             
               you
               say
            
             is
             very
             true
             .
             You
             lost
             your
             Ears
             indeed
             ;
             But
             what
             of
             all
             that
             ?
             You
             made
             the
             poor
             Arch-bishop
             that
             ordered
             em
             to
             be
             cut
             off
             ,
             to
             lose
             his
             Head
             ,
             and
             was
             not
             that
             a
             sufficient
             Recompence
             ?
             For
             my
             own
             part
             ,
             I
             protest
             to
             you
             (
             and
             I
             dare
             swear
             the
             young
             Reformer
             is
             of
             my
             mind
             )
             that
             if
             I
             cou'd
             have
             half
             that
             Revenge
             upon
             a
             certain
             Prelate
             that
             shall
             be
             nameless
             ,
             I
             cou'd
             willingly
             submit
             to
             lose
             
               my
               Ears
            
             ,
             nay
             ,
             and
             be
             circumcised
             into
             the
             bargain
             .
          
        
         
           
             Pryn.
             
          
           
             That
             may
             be
             .
             But
             my
             time
             is
             now
             expired
             ,
             and
             I
             can
             tarry
             no
             longer
             .
             
               Continue
               steadfast
               to
               your
               Principles
            
             .
             Farewell
             Brother
             Hick
             :
             dear
             Son
             Adieu
             .
          
        
         
           FINIS
           .
        
      
    
     
       
         Notes, typically marginal, from the original text
         
           Notes for div A29784-e850
           
             
               Reflections
               upon
               the
               discarriages
               of
               the
               Navy
               .
               Printed
               by
            
             J.
             Harris
             .
          
           
             Page
             8.
             of
             his
             Sermon
             .
          
           
             Pag.
             9.