Ella Gerczak
Professor Comuniello 
Moreau First-Year Experience
3 December 2021
A Change of Pace
	While many have told me that I have plenty of time to decide my major, the stringencies of the engineering curriculum at Notre Dame have unintentionally proved them false. To be able to take the required classes and graduate in time, I’ll need to pick my major within the year, which has led me to ask myself many questions. What do I want my major to be? What about my career? What do I want to do with life? What classes should I take, and how should I spend my time? While many of these questions go unanswered, the process of exploring them has led me to a process of re-evaluation, one that has led me to examine priorities and truly think about what direction I want my life to take. 
	Something I’ve thought about a lot during my time at Notre Dame is how exactly I want to spend my time. The concept of time management is mostly spoken of as working terms: ‘someone with poor time management doesn’t get their work done on time.’ And yet, there’s more to that than managing time. The first step is deciding what’s important enough to spend time on. And, having considered everything I learned in my first semester, I’ve decided to focus particularly on life balance when thinking about how to spend my time. Emily Bergmann, in her article “Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student”, once wrote: “Transitions are always hard — regardless of your age. But the social expectations around college put overwhelming pressure on students to fit in seamlessly into their campus, without truly acknowledging the difficulty of uprooting your life and starting fresh,” (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emily Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine). This quote really demonstrates something I’ve been struggling with on campus lately. I thought about this fact at about 11 pm, trying to choose between showering, finishing my homework due at midnight, or going to sleep at a reasonable time. (This was three days ago – the sleep was sacrificed). Because of these problems I’ve been having, I’ve decided that focusing on myself and having balance should be a key part of my plans moving forward. While academics must be prioritized to some degree, I think making this more important will help my life be more fruitful. 
	Just like I do, Notre Dame acknowledges that college has purposes and priorities other than academics. They often use the famous quote by Basil Moreau himself, “the mind shall not be cultivated at the expense of the heart,” especially in campus publications (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Campus Ministry - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). I believe this particular Notre Dame goal is more virtue and moral development than wellness-focused, but I think the way we agree is interesting. 
	Something else that has increased in importance is my desire to create a community within Notre Dame, despite a little confusion on how to do that. Parker J. Palmer wrote on this topic, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received,” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community… with a fourteenth thrown in for free” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This has made me wonder: is community something I should be actively striving for, or is it something that I should be forming naturally with time as a part of Notre Dame? The article argues that if you try too hard for community building, that natural relationships will fail to form. This is something I actually sort of understand. In the past, when I went to club meetings (like the CS club) with the express purpose of trying to make more friends, things kind of fell through. I think I’ve discovered that natural friend-building happens best when, through circumstances (like a class) you simply naturally spend a lot of time around people until you both like each other enough to hang out outside of that time frame. I think, in the future, I will do my best to be friendly, but not stress too much about trying to be friends right away. 
	Lastly, I believe that there was something ambiguous and vague that for me, now holds greater clarity thanks to my Notre Dame journey. That thing was the nature of disagreement, anger, and even hatred. I have read many articles and spoken to many people that have spoken about the divisiveness and division in the world today, arguing that such a thing is the reason for many problems in the world today. One of our articles reflects this opinion: “The ongoing conflicts over critical race theory have followed a predictable pattern of polarization. For Catholic and Jesuit schools, this division is inimical to our mission and damaging to the body of Christ,” (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” by Christopher Devron – Moreau FYE Week Ten). Truly read the statement. It doesn’t say, racism is causing damage. Or even critical race theory is causing damage. It says this fighting is causing damage. It made me ask myself–what is the nature of disagreement, anger, and hate? 
	When I was in Foundational Theology this semester, the professor gave us an article to read that talked about how homosexuality was a sin. It wasn’t an article he disagreed with, rather, it was one he promoted in class. As we were discussing the article, I thought about all the people who talked about divisiveness ruining our nation. Then, I raised my hand and told the professor he was wrong. 
	One of our articles said, “Love is the greatest commandment — and hatred is at the heart of the greatest sins,” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Campus Ministry - Moreau FYE Week Ten). And, I avoided falling into this trap. Indeed, I never hated my professor. In fact, I respected him for his generally kind nature and effective teaching style. But I was angry with him for a short while. During that time, I wondered vaguely if I should hate him. Should someone with such views be well-liked? 
	I decided, over the course of my Notre Dame journey, that while hate may be a path to sin, that anger (if monitored, and used correctly) can be a natural and healthy form of disagreement. While this may seem surprising, I ask the reader to think: if someone hurts a mother’s child, should we expect her not to be angry? If someone hurts someone else’s friend, should we expect them to disagree politely? No. If someone is being hurt, anger is necessary. God’s often incredible anger in the Old Testament sometimes reflects this. He is angry because humanity is hurting each other and itself; and therefore, anger cannot be inherently sinful. 
	And then I ask: is what the professor said not harmful? Does it not promote dangerous rhetoric that could harm people in our campus community? 
	It does, and so I have my answer. 
	So, when I hear the question, ‘What have I encountered and how will I respond’? I’ve encountered many good things–good friends, great classes, a beautiful campus and a friendly environment. To those things, I will respond with joy. But I’ve also encountered things I don’t appreciate seeping their way into Notre Dame’s culture. To those things, I will respond with disagreement, divisiveness, but no hate. And, if it’s warranted–perhaps I will respond with just a little bit of anger.