Maria Finan
15 Oct. 2021
Moreau FYS
I Believe that I Am Called
During Week 6, I wrote an “I Am From” poem about my life through 18 years. One thought stands out still: I am from dreams and calls to action//Don’t let the world pass me by. I suppose that the lines continue to resonate because they strongly reflect my beliefs. Above all, I believe that I am here to help others. I believe that I’m meant to learn and grow every day. I must build on my strengths and address my weaknesses to reach my greatest potential, which I am to direct toward those in need. 
First, to be able to grow as an individual, I must first be willing to identify my own values, skills, and weaknesses. I will also have to act on them rather than on others’ agendas. An integral part of this is having confidence in my own path and resisting the temptation to let others’ opinions and judgments distract me. I cannot allow my self-esteem and pride to be diminished. Further, I believe that choosing the bold less-traveled path is essential. As I learned from Brené Brown’s Ted Talk (Week 1), people find fulfilment when they pursue their own ambitions and resist the temptation to join the rat race. 
Transferring that to my own life, I believe that I need to do what I feel, not what others might expect or want. I spend too much time worrying about what others think of my behavior, and I am not proud of it. Yet, as I recognize this, it becomes easier to avoid it. Now, as I am exposed to so much in college, I have a huge opportunity to follow my own voice.
To those ends, I am unwilling to settle for work that will simply pay my bills. If I spend around 40 hours a week working in an undesired job, that’s roughly half of the time I am not sleeping. Unfortunately, in terms of work, most people don’t have much of a choice. Because I am fortunate enough to have options, I have no reason not to take advantage of them. I am unwilling to simply throw time away so that I can make money. 
Now, I’d like to return to my comment about recognizing my desire to please others. Though it is far easier to spend time explaining what I am good at, that is unproductive. David Brooks (Week 2) identifies this mindset as Adam 1: “Adam 1 is built by building on your strengths.” He suggests that instead of spending time as Adam 1, we should become Adam 2, which “is built by fighting your weaknesses.” Adam 2 makes an effort to recognize where he has room to grow. I know that I have to be Adam 2 more if I want to learn and grow as a person. 
For me, becoming Adam 2 often seems like Fr. Pete’s concept of the knot in the shoelace. (Week 3) It looks like a roadblock along the way, but it is actually a different, better path. It’s tempting to shy away from the knot or even resist acknowledging its existence. Nobody likes talking about their flaws, especially not around many other people. Vulnerability is scary, but as Brené Brown emphasizes, it’s pretty much necessary. 
Next, I am called to actively reach for respect for both myself and others. Part of that involves tuning out biases and stereotypes and even working to thwart them. I am not going to claim that I have no biases. Unfortunately, I have given in to different assumptions and stereotypes throughout my whole life. While I can blame others, the responsibility still falls on myself. Excuses are merely a denial of the need to become Adam 2. Additionally, though many types of discrimination don’t involve me, that doesn’t mean I am allowed to let them persist. The article from Week 7 mentions that black applicants for jobs are systematically disadvantaged. That’s not okay.
I believe that I am called to bring positive change, such as eliminating that type of bias in practice. Even though it might not be that specific issue, I would find more satisfaction in tackling a tangible problem than drudging through a conventional corporate job. It would allow me to respect others and myself. In my opinion, relegating myself to a relatively meaningless role in this world would be disrespectful to God and those who have provided for me. Likewise, focusing on material wealth would do the same. 
Nevertheless, striving to create positive change will not be easy. It’s not difficult to uphold values and morals in theory. But it’s much more difficult to do so in practice. I’ve found that that is when prejudices surface the most. Also, I worry that many prejudices and implicit biases that I am not even aware of will hinder my abilities. In the Week 6 video, Fr. Kevin Grove mentions that “We cannot love the God whom we do not see if we don’t love the brother whom we do see.” I can equate loving the God whom we don’t see to committing oneself to upholding morals and creating change. Both ideas are ambitious and in a certain sense untested. But the real challenge is putting whatever it may be into practice. 
Again, nobody is perfect, but I can’t claim to be a champion of equality if I fail to consider the perspective of someone unfamiliar. I also can’t maximize my efforts if I shy away from certain situations based on biases or a lack of comfort. As Audrey ’23 says in the Week 3 pamphlet, “To find your place and ultimately yourself, you sometimes need to face the things that make you uncomfortable.”
Additionally, I would be mistaken to believe that I can accomplish a lot on my own. Part of what I have realized in these first few months at Notre Dame is that I need the help, guidance, and companionship of others not just socially. College and what comes after it is much different from high school. I can’t always be a solo act anymore, despite how that realization might scare my ego. 
A challenge for me with developing more relationships is resisting the need for the attention. Sometimes I have a hard time listening, and I might feel like I must bring the focus back to me. Nobody really enjoys hanging out with that guy. When you are only dealing with yourself, you don’t need to worry about balance or control. But when other people come into play, it’s a different story. To maintain healthy relationships, I must remind myself to listen to others even more than to myself. If I am contributing to unhealthy relationships, such as controlling ones (Week 4), it will be difficult to achieve much. 
So, if I write an “I Am From” poem in 30 years, what will it look like? First, it will express my same ambitions and values that I hold today, such as learning, service, and growth. But I hope that it also expresses my achievements and successes, not for my own glory but for the positive impact I will have made in the world.