Encountering Challenges and Prioritizing Health 

Week 9 of Moreau became very relevant to my life towards about the third quarter of the 

first semester.  I struggled with feeling like I was losing the friends I had begun to make earlier 

in the year.  I felt left out and like everyone else was growing closer to each other, and as they 

grew closer, they forgot about me.  I completely related to “[t]he worst part was that I felt as if I 

were the one who was this lonely” (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by 

Emery Bergmann – Moreau FYE Week Nine).  Things began to get better as I grew closer to 

other people on campus.  One of the most important questions that I have had to consider this 

year is “Which relationships in my life are worth putting all of my energy into?”.  I realized that 

some of the friendships I had begun were making me feel worse overall rather than better.  I 

realized that as I put more energy into those friendships and feeling included in those 

relationships, the worse I felt.  I actually began to connect this week of Moreau to Week 4 

Moreau’s discussion of unhealthy relationships.  I realized that some of the people I had 

considered friends would say and do things that were hurting me.  I began to prioritize my own 

mental health and the relationships with the people that I enjoyed spending time with and did not 

feel hurt after.  I have learned that sometimes it is okay to walk away when people are hurting 

you.  I know now how to work to be better at balancing the amount of energy that I put into 

friendships. 

 Week 10 of Moreau discusses discourse, specifically political discourse, but I think 

discourse in general actually has an interesting connection to my connection of Weeks 9 and 4 in 

the previous paragraph.  Fr. Jenkins reminds us “[f]irst we cannot directly reduce anyone else’s 

hatred.  If we were capable of reducing the hatred of others, we would have already done it” 

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html


(“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Fr. John Jenkins – Moreau 

FYE Week Ten).  Originally, in my discussion of this idea, I had looked at it as being more about 

conviction than about hatred.  I had agreed that it is almost impossible to change a person’s 

opinion about a topic if their conviction is strong enough.  I had said we should instead look 

inward and identify the flaws within our own actions and opinions.  However, bringing in the 

situation from the previous paragraph, I have realized that I have somewhat changed my opinion.  

I have realized that sometimes confronting others is necessary.  It is complicated and very 

situation dependent; however, there are times when calling others out is necessary.  I think for 

many people it is a lot easier to stand up to someone in defense of another person, especially 

when they love that person and want to protect them.  It can be a lot harder to stand up to others 

when it is in regard to ourselves.  I know that is how it is for me at least.  However, I have begun 

to realize that it can be both okay and necessary to confront people when they are incorrect and 

do something to wrong you.  While I have learned to accept this fact, I am still working towards 

actively standing up for myself and implementing this fact in my life. 

 I did however find friends that I could turn to for help.  They are a great group, and I 

know we are all there to support each other.  Sometimes, though, it can be easy to forget that I 

need their support, and that I cannot do everything on my own.  “When I flourish, it is easy to 

maintain the illusion of separateness, easy to imagine that I alone am responsible for my good 

fortune. But when I fall, I see a secret hidden in plain sight: I need other people for comfort, 

encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration” (“Thirteen 

Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven).  However, it is 

beginning to become clearer to me that I need my friends for support both in the good times and the 

bad times.  True friends celebrate with you when you are up and lift you up and support you when 

you are down.  That is also how the Notre Dame community is.  This community cheers its members 

https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/


on during their good days and supports their members when they are down.  They work to create a 

space where everyone is welcome and supported.  I want to work on continuing to remember that I 

have my friends’ support in both the good times and the bad times.  It is easy for me to believe that 

when I am doing well, it is my own doing, when in reality it is due to my friends’ help. 

 While we are struggling, it can be hard to remember to turn to the people here who are 

supporting us; it can be even harder to remember to turn to someone who it can be easy to forget 

that He is always here, God. “Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please 

Him best” (“The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis – Moreau FYE Week Twelve).  Notre Dame offers 

amazing reminders for people to turn back to God when they are struggling.  Personally, with school 

getting busier and finals week coming up, I have found a lot of peace in visiting the grotto and 

attending mass.   At first, making time for mass was stressful.  I felt like I did not have enough time 

to both go to mass, finish my work, and take care of myself.  Balancing schoolwork, eating, and 

sleeping had been difficult already.  I made the conscious effort to finish enough of my homework so 

that I could go to mass on Sunday.  I remembered how calming and nice it was to go pray with the 

community and spend time with God.  While I feel a little stressed initially about going to mass and 

getting my work done, going to mass helps me to slow down and calm down.  However, for me, I 

actually find it easier to turn to God when I am struggling than when I am doing well.  Much like my 

friends, I forget that I have them, God, and a community surrounding me when I am doing well.  

Connecting the topics that we have learned in class and the different sources we have investigated in 

Moreau has really taught me lessons that will help me to improve my life and improve myself. 

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/files/192618?module_item_id=109295