Week 8 - Integration 3 Story of - The Enigmatic Journey of Discovery Today is a deeply sad one, but even in this time of grief I can't help but think of the many wonderful experiences that I and the rest of you shared with Neol. As we experience this loss, it is important to remember how much richer our lives have been through the relationship with him. We shared great memories and laughs but Neol left a great legacy that I wish to talk about. For most of his early life, he lived his life fast-paced and focused on working towards achieving his goals. At some point in college for some reason, he took the time to think about what we wanted out of his life and what type of life he wanted to live. One of the first things he realized was that he was living life too quickly and was so involved with technology. He described it as taking things for granted due to how quickly he would receive data from technology. He referred to a quote that said, “It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture.” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). Once he started to take more breaks from technology and rapid information collection, he began to think more about his future and the big major goal. Neol soon became inspired to live a well-lived life. He wanted to enjoy life to the fullest while also thinking about what type of legacy he wanted to leave be behind. He was inspired by people such as Father Hesburgh and Jessica Pedroza from the Domer Dozen. He admired Jessica because she was leaving a legacy behind that improved education for everyone. He was also inspired by Hesburgh’s leadership, Neol quoted a biography, “ Hesburgh removed deans, he https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ removed faculty members, he made a change, and he didn’t accept less than excellence.” (“Hesburgh” Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two) Hesburgh wanted the best for the University of Notre Dame and left a wonderful legacy, Neol respected him for that. Neol also reached a semi-dark but open-minded stage where he questioned the idea of death and why it was taboo. He referred back to sister Atetheia’s ideology of wanting to embrace the idea of death. Neol referred to her quote saying, “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness…….But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them.” (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die” By Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week Three). At first, he found this ideology to be dark but then found it intriguing. He realized that every person has a timer and he should make the most of it by doing things outside of his comfort zone instead of wasting his time being scared to try new things. Neol learned new skills such as learning to play the violin and also involved himself more within the Notre Dame community. He did not want the fear of death to hinder him nor did he want to waste any more time. While discovering what he wanted his future to be, Neol stepped back and thought about his major and career. He reflected on if he really wanted to become a civil engineer. As part of his career discernment journey, he looked at University resources such as the undergraduate career resources to be sure he was certain of his major. “Every experience shapes you in some way, whether you realize it at the time or not!” (Undergraduate Career Services - Moreau FYE Week Four) This quote stuck to Neol because he had been doing a variety of extra activities that he found interesting and also realized that he found others boring. One example was his Concrete Canoe Club, he had been in the club since he arrived in Notre Dame and he genuinely enjoyed https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ participating and working with the people there. However, he had also tried the video game club but did not stick to it because he wasn’t as interested in technology as he was in Civil Engineering. Neol mentioned that during this part of his discernment journey, he talked to an upperclassman in his dorm, Duncan Hall. He chose to speak to this upperclassman because they both shared the same major and were in a few similar clubs. Neol asked the upperclassman what he thought about the civil engineering program at Notre Dame but one of Neol’s best questions was when he asked the upperclassman what he thought about Neol’s role in the club and Civil Engineering as a whole. The upperclassman said that he showed excitement in the club which made Neol feel more confident about his decision. Neol said, “Hearing these responses made me reassure that I was on the right track and not forcing myself to like a major since I was genuinely motivated.” (Week 5 Reflection By - Moreau Week Five) Neol also learned another valuable lesson about approaching life. “But then I began to realize that some of the things that I can do, the movements that I have already, can be a blessing for some others.” (“5 Minutes” by Grotto - Moreau Week Six). In this quote, a paralyzed man by the name of Dr. Kim describes his approach to life by being more grateful for the bodily functions has rather than complaining about what he doesn’t have and what he can’t do. By being more grateful, Kim was able to enjoy life and became happier. Neol took this approach to hurt and rather than complaining or feeling sad about the things he didn’t have, Neol continued to move forward by fixing the problem of finding a way to deal with it. This helped him many times when he underestimated his intelligence after doing horrible in school and also helped whenever he doubted himself as a civil engineer. https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 During school and even after in the workforce, Neol liked the idea of unity and inclusion. He would always reflect back towards this quote by Pope Francis, “ How wonderful would it be if the growth of scientific and technological innovation would come along with more equality and social inclusion.” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week Seven) This message made Neol think about how beautiful the world would be if everyone was in unity. A world without separation but instead cooperation is a goal worth working towards. Neol heavily lived by this idea even until his death, he felt that cooperation was an important aspect of living a good life along with valuing relationships. I always found it odd why Neol suddenly began that journey of self-reflection at Notre Dame during his first year. Ever since he began school in the Bronx, he never had to think about that sort of thing because he felt that all he had to do was work until he got accepted into a great University and would see from there. But that first year of University introduced him to a whole new world of people and backgrounds. Neol felt happy being there and that must have been why began those changes in his life in Freshman year. However, now that I remember, he would always mention his class called Moreau First-Year Experience that he took with Catherine Wagner. I’m sure he was grateful for that class, even in his last moments.